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#and they also have lives to be getting back to. both of them have stated things along the lines of 'honestly if I could just wipe my memor
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I've been thinking about the societal structures built around regeneration on gallifrey lately, but also the fact that renegades do not get that. On gallifrey you can regenerate in a controlled and safe environment (obviously with some exceptions, but sudden regenerations are not the standard) where you know that an outside factor will not interfere with or influence your regeneration. And while its not guaranteed, there's some amount of reassurance that the regeneration is likely to be on your own terms and that you'll have time to recover and get used to your new body after
But a renegade is much more likely to face a violent and unpredictable death, its rare for one to live the full expected lifespan of a time lord, and when they do die regeneration is much more of a gamble, it is much easier for things to go wrong, just look at what happened with five or eight, and how an incorrect regeneration probably had lasting effects that could have easily been avoided or fixed in the hours after regeneration on gallifrey, but are now things they just have to live with. The unpredictability of regeneration for many renegades also leads to them regenerating out in the open, which makes them much easier to kill because you have access to them mid regeneration. And there also the factor that time lords are both rare and powerful, anyone knowing who they are may very well want to take advantage of either the energy a regenerating time lord produces or the vulnerable and easily manipulable state a newly regenerated time lord finds themself in, and others who don't know what a time lord is may want to experiment on them and it is much harder to fight back in a body you do not know yet
All that's to say, regeneration is probably an at least stressful experience for all time lords, you are literally dying, but it has to be terrifying for renegades. There is no guarantee that you will make it through without complications, or really at all. I mean looking at it this way its kind of obvious why the doctor tries so hard to cling onto each life they have
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chris-prank · 1 day
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Peaceful post-apocalypse settings have always been one of my favorite tropes! There's just something so freeing about the thought of humanity being set back to simpler times...(boomer ahh mindset but wtvr)
That said, may I request more Martin content?🙏 He's such a sweetheart!! Maybe something about reader wanting to join him on a hunt? Him teaching them how to? Or just any ideas you have for him really
Hope you have a lovely day mwuah :)
With the deplorable state of our world right now, it’s perfectly fair to prefer a time without the complicated life of the city 😆 so I totally get you 🤝 Also I’m so happy that you called Martin a sweetheart 🥺, if we take away if yandere tendencies he really is! And have a great day too ❤️❤️❤️
Yandere hunter x GN reader
CW: animal death, manipulation sorta, reader get frozen by fear/ fear response
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“You want to go hunting with me?” Martin asked, surprised, while casually throwing his crossbow over his shoulder.
He felt extremely flattered that you wanted to take part in his daily duties and by looking in your hopeful eyes, he couldn’t dare deny you anything. So after you changed into more appropriate clothes, the two of you were ready to go into the forest. You walked hand in hand, looking like you were going on a romantic stroll. In reality, this adorable display was a safety major, since the surroundings were filled with traps Martin had previously set up. He said that it was to make sure that nothing or no one could escape him while he hunted. Whatever that meant.
“So what are we looking for exactly?” You asked while keeping an eye out for any sounds in the crisp autumn leaves.
“It depends… there’s usually deers roaming around this time of year.”
“We’re going to kill a deer?!” You repeated, your jaw hanging wide open. You thought you were going for something smaller like a rabbit or a bird at the very least.
He grinned and winked at you. “Only if you can actually do it.”
“Hey!” You pushed his arms while sticking your tongue at him. “I’m a very independent and capable person.” You added while puffing your chest out jokingly.
The man next to you seemed to mumble something under his breath, but since he didn’t repeat himself despite your lack of response, you figured it was nothing important.
***
You couldn’t believe you two had found one. Of course, you knew that Martin was skilled in tracking animals, but still, what were the odds! The deer was lazily drinking from a small pond, unaware of the crossbow pointed at its neck.
Martin had helped you get in the right spot and revised with you the shooting position he had taught you before. But you kept shaking. The idea of killing an animal seemed so simple and inconsequential, but now that you were faced with the reality of the situation you just couldn’t do it. That’s when you felt his warm embrace enveloped you, your back now pressed against his chest. His hands crept up to rest over yours, steadying your grip on the weapon.
“It’s ok, you don’t have to do anything.” His voice was so calm, so enticing. It was pulling you in a sense of comfort and stability that few people had the chance of experiencing, “you can just rely on me.”
You simply nodded, you just wanted to lose yourself in his presence and forget that you had the life of a living being in the palm of your hands. Then his finger was over yours and, without hesitation, pulled the trigger. Everything went by so fast, as a shrill shriek followed by a loud thump made all the birds take flight from the surrounding trees. You slowly lowered the crossbow, still a bit in shock of what had just happened. In response, Martin rubbed your arms up and down in a soothing manner.
“You were so brave for me.” He whispered against your ear, “but don’t worry, you won’t have to do it ever again, I’ll be brave for the both of us if you let me.”
・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。..。.:*・
Karma love to make a fool out of me 💀 it’s always when I say “oh it’ll take a while for me to complete” that I suddenly get a wave of inspiration. Not going to complain too much though, it’s always better than having writer's block.
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xetlynn · 10 hours
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Twilight Imagines- Benjamin
First Sight
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[Masterlist]
Requested by: @twilightlover2007
Summary: in where the Cullens are getting multiple covens together to help them convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not a danger Benjamin spots [Name] and is immediately enamored by her. Even with her two year old daughter. Also finding out they have similar abilities.
I sit in the living room with Bella and Edward as we watch Renesmee play with Athaliah. I cross my arms, holding myself. "How do you feel?" Edward asks me suddenly and I turn to him. "Read my mind." I roll my eyes, he scoffs out a laugh. "I'm asking so you can let it out."
He responds, I look back to the girls. "Yeah, we haven't talked much since you found out about her." Bella chimes into the conversation. I frown for a second.
"It's a weird situation, I don't really know how I feel." I tell them in all honesty. One second Renesmee was a newborn and seconds later she was months old and now she's physically 4 years old.
"I just wish we didn't have to deal with the Volturi. Once again." I hold my head in my hands. Last time we dealt with them was when I turned into a vampire, Athatliah was only 16 months old. They were worried that I would turn Athaliah.
We had to convince them I wouldn't go near her until I had control over my thirst and she wouldn't know anything about us until she was the age of turning or if anything I would fake my death and she'd never see us again. It's something I don't even want to consider. It's something I have 16 years until I have to truly think about. The Volturi believed us when Aro looked into Edward's mind along with mine. Also with the fact that my ability was strong, I would put up a fight. They didn't need any of their men dead.
"I wish that woman just talked to us before running straight to the Volturi. She's also going to get killed." I lift my head back up. Renesmee takes Athaliah over to us and they both smile. I pick up my daughter, placing her on my lap. Edward doing the same with his daughter.
"All right, lovely, it's time for a nap." I stand up. "I'll meet you guys outside." I tell my two best friends before walking upstairs. They have a crib that was originally for Renesmee in Edward's old room. I place Athaliah down. I could tell she was tired so when she started crying I knew it was only for a few minutes.
The first year of her life I cried almost every time she cried. I couldn't handle it. My mom was a huge help since Athaliah's dad left in the beginning of my pregnancy. His parents moved to a whole different state so he didn't have to be a father to our baby. I grieved the relationship in the beginning. I don't really care anymore.
Bella was the only friend I've had ever since giving birth. Other people judged right away. Not Bella. She sometimes would babysit for me if I had to work and no daycare. My mom would pay her as well. Edward then started to help with her. Then he bonded with Athaliah as well. They both became an aunt and uncle to my daughter. I am forever grateful for them.
When her cries stop I snap out of my thoughts. Quietly slipping out of the room. I go downstairs and join everyone outside. Bella and Edward showing the new vampires renesmee's gift. I look off into the distance to see Carlisle and Esme coming our way with three new people. They're from the Egyptian Coven, they drink human blood. I lock eyes with the younger looking man. His eyes were a dark red. They felt entrancing. I couldn't look away. That was until Rosalie comes up to me.
"Could you help me with something?" She asks in a quiet tone, I furrow my eyebrows but nod my head. Following after her. Feeling eyes watch me the entire time. The blonde leads me back into the house where Zafrina, Kachiri, and Senna were standing in our way. "These ladies are from the Amazon coven. They wanted to meet you." Rosalie speaks softly, I place a hand on my chest, confused on why they would want to speak to me. "They've heard of your ability." Emmett tells me, I let out a little 'oh' standing straighter.
"Zafrina likes meeting people similar to her. Having incredible gifts." Kachiri informs me. "What's your gift?" I tilt my head, intrigued. The quiet woman smiles slightly, staring at me. Focusing on something and then suddenly I'm not in the house anymore. I'm back outside. But not our outside. A different place. A place I've never seen before. It was gorgeous.
Then I'm back in the house and I stare at her with wide eyes. "That... was amazing." I tell her, utterly in shock. She grins back to me. "We'd like to see your ability." Kachiri says, I make a face, turning to Rosalie and Emmett who nod their heads for me to do it. "We'd uh, we would have to go outside." I lead the way outside, in front of the porch. The three from the Amazon Coven stand on the porch with Rosalie, Emmett was standing in the door frame.
I smile to them as the cloud above us gets darker than earlier. Their expressions are confused until I bring my arms in the air and it starts raining. It was sprinkling at first then thunder struck. I felt the others crowd around me. I then make it storm. Everyone getting soaked. And then suddenly it stops as I stop focusing on the sky. I take a deep breath. The others begin to clap.
"That's just a tiny bit of what she can do." Emmett roars out, I nod my head sheepishly. "How did you find that out?" One of the Denali sisters ask me. "When I turned, the pain caused a storm. The wind was strong. The weather was insane that night. Later on when I wasn't paying attention and every time I had a huge emotion, a storm began every time. It's a lot easier to control now." I smile as I then make it begin to snow. Renesmee runs up to me with a huge smile. I pick her up so she can play with the snowflakes.
"This is a powerful ability... The Volturi would have no chance against us." Garrett laughs beside Kate who has a tiny smirk on her face. "You could deflect my electricity and make it more powerful." She tells me, lifting one of her hands to show me the electricity coming out of it.
Then everyone begins to talk to one another about it. I place Renesmee down, she holds my hand though instead of running off. I listen outside of the others to see if Athaliah has woken up but her breathing is still slowed. I can tell she's about to wake up. Her naps aren't very long lately.
A person walks up to me, startling me. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." It was the younger looking man from the Egyptian Coven. I wave a hand. "It's alright, I was trying to make sure my daughter was still sleeping." I sigh out, looking down to my niece who was staring up at the man.
"Your daughter?" He asks, looking around. "Her name's Athaliah." I tell him, we begin to walk inside the house, Renesmee sticking by my side because I think she knows we're going to see my girl. "Beautiful name." He compliments, I quietly thank him. His looks are entrancing I can barely focus on what is being said.
It goes silent between us until Renesmee speaks up in a small sweet tone. "He can make tornados, smaller than yours though." I smile down at her. "Really?"
I've only created a tornado once and right as it formed we made it disappear. That was before Renesmee was born though. Of course Emmett told her about it though. "Our gifts are incredibly similar." He tells me. Before he can say anything else though I hear my daughter begin to stir. Her tiny whines sounding out to down here. "Oh, I have to go, I'll be back." I step up the first couple of steps. He stands there, I can tell her wishes to say something though.
Renesmee was already running to the bedroom though. "What's your name?" I ask him.
"Benjamin." He says. I smile. "Beautiful name." I then head up the stairs.
Renesmee is playing with Athaliah through the bars of the crib. I smile, heading over to them and picking up my daughter. "Let's go play downstairs." Renesmee says, taking my hand once again and dragging me back down. Benjamin was still standing there just as he was before I left.
I was glad to be honest. I was hoping he waited for me. "This is Athaliah, Athaliah, meet Benjamin." I bounce her on my hip, pointing to the beautiful man. She tiredly looks to him.
Then suddenly doing grabby hands at him for him to take her. I furrow my eyebrows. It usually takes her a minute to get used to new people. He sticks his hand out, letting her grab onto it. It wasn't enough though she lunges her body forward so he could take her out of my arms. I laugh. "Sorry, you don't have to-"
"I don't mind as long as you don't." He puts his hands out and I shrug my shoulders, handing her over to him. Renesmee watches, a little bit annoyed until Edward comes in and tells her to go with him somewhere. I watch as my daughter puts his face into her hands. I then wondered if that was a good idea looking at his eyes which were red. Meaning he eats humans.
I bit my lip. He looks over to me and I think he can sense my worry. He gives me a short smile and places Athaliah down. She walks back to me, hugging my legs. She's still waking up.
Later in the night Bella and I were getting the girls to sleep. Athaliah sprawled out, her arm going over Renesmee's torso. She's holding onto her hand. I look up to see Bella looking at someone. I trace where. It was Benjamin who was sitting beside Jacob. He was staring at me though. "He seems enamored by you." She whispers, careful not to wake the kids. I snort out a laugh. "Yeah, okay. He wants a single mom." I joke, rolling my eyes.
"I mean the whole time he's been here he's been staring at you. He keeps trying to talk with you and he's brought you up to us every chance he gets. Asking about your ability." She informs me and I give her a look. "Yeah, he's interested in my ability. Not me." I sit up straight, crossing my legs.
"You're so oblivious, [Name]." She comments, sitting up as well. We eventually get up listening to Vladimir and Stefan talk about how they despise the Volturi and why. They were characters, that was for sure.
I sit down by the fire, a log was already there but no one else was there. They all went to different areas of the woods. I stared at the flames wondering how tomorrow was going to go. Someone sat beside me but neither of us spoke. I didn't even move my head to see.
"[Name]." The person speaks up after moments of silence. I hum out in response. "I uh I've never been left this speechless before. I don't know what to say around you." It was Benjamin, I smile to myself before turning to face him. "I'm boring, I apologize." I say, now just observing his features and I wonder what he was like as a human. If he was always this perfect.
"No, you're not at all. You make me nervous. It's a feeling I don't think I've ever experienced." His eyes lock with mine and I badly want to look away. But I can't. I'm stuck in place. "When did you turn?" I slightly change the subject. "1815." My eyes widen to his answer. He begins to laugh at my reaction. "Sorry, that was rude." I rub my hands together, finally looking away due to embarrassment.
"I expected it, when did you turn?"
"Last year."
"A newborn practically and you're that in control of your ability?" He seemed to be surprised.
"I couldn't control my ability completely until maybe six years after turning." He then ignites fire from his pointer finger. "You control the elements?" I ask in amazement. "And you control the weather." He states.
"Our abilities are incredibly similar." I laugh, excited. Watching the flames on his finger tip before he closes his fist and it goes away.
For hours we talk about our abilities, about his life before turning. I do the same. Telling him a bit about Athaliah. It never felt like a bad subject bringing her up like it usually does with men.
He actually asks about her and that's where I feel he doesn't want to be with me but to be friends.
"Your daughter truly has your looks." We both look to my sleeping daughter who is still sprawled out. I smile. "Thank you. She's my everything." I tell him.
"I can tell."
"I'm interested in getting to know you more." Benjamin says, this time he cautiously takes my hand into his. Making sure I was okay with it before gripping a little tighter. "What do you want to know?" I nervously ask.
"No, I mean courting you. You being mine, me being yours." He explains, I scrunch my nose before saying. "it might be forward, I know this. But you, seeing you, talking to you today. It only makes me want to be yours more."
"What about Athaliah, she comes with, we're a package deal. I'm a single mother. She's human, you eat off... humans." I take my hand back, now giving him a serious expression. It feels crazy but I feel the same way. I feel so strongly for him and I can't lose it but I also have to put my child first.
"I'll love her as my own. I'll eat animals for you both. I'll learn." He assures me, I pause for a moment.
"This feels crazy." I laugh out. "But I'll give it a try. I'm interested in getting to know you more." Even though we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow I don't care. I deserve to be happy even for a little bit.
——————
I almost deleted this whole thing after finishing it.
Heart was racing. Almost cried.
If you want to request anything lmk!
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peaches2217 · 2 days
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Having been raised in a cult that started off as a legitimate church and now seeking faith on my own terms, I’ve recently (as in, like, three days ago) developed a hyperfixation for researching various denominations of Christianity. It’s incredible, how little I knew about what denominations actually believe what.
TW: Reflections on religious extremism and experiences (nothing traumatic, I’m keeping this lighthearted, but I know it can be touchy!)
When my cult was still a church, it was an Assemblies of God church, and I’m fairly certain they still hold to a lot of that doctrine, just with even more heaping helpings of fire and brimstone and doomsday. We were taught to jokingly view Southern Baptists (or just “Baptists,” because they refused to acknowledge American Baptists and I didn’t even realize American Baptism was a THING until recently) as our rivals: they were our polar opposite in practice but equals in theology, and all other denominations just couldn’t get it right or were too scared to break free from Catholicism. We were told Catholics and those who worshiped and believed like them weren’t true Christians and destined for Hell. There was no interdenominational unity and collaboration, nor was there any encouragement to look at other denominations’ doctrine. Ours was right, the Baptists were close enough, and nothing else held any sort of merit.
(I’m pretty sure now they’ve even cut out the Baptist sympathetics, and while it’s become wholly self-contained, they’re still accepted as an AoG church — albeit a more extreme example of the denomination — but I can’t say any of that with certainty. I’d ask my dad but, well, he’s still wholly devoted to the cult, I don’t trust him to be objective in his view. 😅)
I briefly attended an Episcopal church before I moved last year, mostly because it was the polar oppose of what I was raised in and there was something very comforting about that (plus they’re openly supportive of things like LGBTQ+ rights), but ultimately my dad and FB friends kinda shamed me out of attending because “There’s no blessing in structure, sis!”. My hope was to start going to the Episcopal church here where I currently live, but when I showed up last week, there were exactly two people and they gave me rather dirty looks, so I quickly high-tailed it back to my car.
I ended up at a Methodist church because I was running behind and theirs was the only non-Baptist service that hadn’t started yet, and… I dunno. They had some trappings of my birth cult, sang some of the same songs, but there was also a structure to things like I’d seen in the Episcopal church. No hour-long praise and worship where you make a show of screaming and crying harder than anyone else, followed by an hour-long sermon that leads into another two-hour stretch of loud music and light shows and shouldaboughtahyundai steadIboughtakias until everyone was either unconscious or in a state of religious ecstasy; there was an order to things, with opportunities to take time in private prayer at the alter or at your seat, and the sermon was heartfelt and impactful but never once delved into the pastor screaming frantically into the mic. I followed their website to the official doctrine of the United Methodist denomination, and I was shocked to find that I agreed with most of it.
And that shocked me because, due to their notoriously liberal stances and heavy Catholic influence, my dad and those around me always told me that the Episcopal church isn’t really respectable. Most of them, however, consider Methodism a perfectly legitimate denomination that gets enough right to be deemed a proper church… and their doctrine isn’t much more conservative than Episcopalian doctrine. They have no formal stance on queer issues (which I’ll take over “Y’all are going to Hell” any day) but they’re vocal proponents of social justice and sexual education, both things I was taught growing up are evil.
And that’s the long-winded explanation of how I got to where I am now: digging deep into what each denomination actually believes, because I knew my viewpoint was limited by experience and further restrained by indoctrination and trauma, but holy fuck, I didn’t realize just how crazy my cult’s beliefs were until I started comparing all the doctrine. Of course doctrine isn’t everything, I know that, but the more I read, the more and more I realize that the faith I was raised in wasn’t all that Christlike after all.
A side note: my boss let me take half a day off on Sunday to go back to that church. The pastor’s husband came up and greeted me, told me his wife had mentioned meeting me, asked me a couple questions, standard New Person in Church-type stuff. I got about two questions in before I was shaking visibly and so scared I went briefly nonverbal, because for how kindly I’ve been treated and how strong my faith is, I’ve still got hella religious trauma. I alluded to being raised in church and had my trans and enby pride bracelets on, along with my bigender symbol necklace, so I’m pretty sure he could infer exactly why I was so scared.
He clasped my hand and said, in a quiet voice with a little smile, “You’re safe here. This is a safe place. We’re so glad you’re here.” I couldn’t say anything except thank you, but I hope it was enough to express just how deeply those words impacted me.
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romanarose · 2 days
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The River
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Joel Miller x Black!fem!reader
Join my taglist: Masterlist
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Summary: Joel and Sarah's mom! reader the days he's conceived, written to Bruce Springsteen's The River in honor of his birthday today!
Warnings: Virginity loss for both, piv sex, skinny dipping, not a happy end, if you want the spoiler look at notes at the end. Classmate calls reader a name but its never stated so you can fill in the blank however fitting you feel, but its implied its either a slur or a derogatory word towards women. Story starts with joel and reader in HS and 17, but 18 when the smu happens. If this makes you uncomfortable, thats fine. Dont read it.Some drinking but everyone is consenting, and at 18 in the 80's in the us you can drink Immersivity: reader is at least biracial as fitting with the show TLOU. Not super descriptive there bc I wanted it to remain pretty open but I mentioned hair care for curls and dark skin
Happy birthday Bruce!!!! I love you
Dividers by @thecutestgrotto
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I come from down in the valley
Where, mister, when you're young
They bring you up to do like your daddy done
  It started at 17, just kids. You were like something out of a dream to a teen. Well, a wet dream. You dressed so unlike everyone around him, showing off skin in a way scandalous to the bible belt you were living in. Joel was taught that impure thoughts and sex before marriage was sinful, shameful.
A year later, it didn’t feel shameful with you. 
When you moved here during yours and Joel’s senior  year, you and Joel met at a party and it was all over for him the second he saw you in that pretty black dress that dipped so low… Dark, thick curls spiraled around your head in a halo and beautiful dark skin. Joel was certain you weren’t looking his way even once. Joel wasn’t unpopular by any means, but if he were honest a lot of his circle came from either playing baseball or being Tommy’s brother . 
Tommy was a linebacker on the football team, something much cooler than baseball was. Joel didn’t think himself ugly, he thought he was decent to look at, but his nose got in the way, just planted large smack in the middle of his face. Tommy had similar features, but for some reason they meshed together better. Tommy was also just so much more extraverted, friendly as they came. And none of it was fake, Tommy was genuine and that's why people liked him. That’s why Tommy lost his virginity long before Joel had his first kiss.
When you walked over and struck up a conversation with him of all people, Joel’s eyes nearly popped out of his face.
“Hey.” You told him your name. “I start school next week with y’all”
“”M Joel,” He reached out shaking your hand, a move that made you grin ear to ear. “Nice t’meecha”
“You’re cute, Joel, wanna talk outside?”
An hour later, you and Joel hadn’t spoken to a single otyour soul. He watched as envious eyes lingered on them, pride swelling in his chest at having the prettiest girl at the party wearing his jacket as you sat on the porch. 
“HEY MILLER!” A teammate of Tommy’s shouts at Joel from below the porch. “Gonna finally score a homerun?”
When you looked at him confused, Joel explained the metaphor. “I play baseball.”
“YEAH AND HE”S NEVER SCORED WITH A GIRL!”
“THANKS DAN I THINK You GOT IT!!” Joel shouted to the jeering boy who’d drawn a bit of a crowd. When he turns back to you, you weren’t weirded about him being a virgin still, instead you were smiling.
“I’m a virgin too, don’t worry. Wanna really show ‘em how stupid they look?” You whisper.
Joel laughs, smiling something dopey. “Please…”
Swinging one leg over the porch railing, a move that spread your legs and rode your skirt up. You grab his shirt, yanking him towards you and kissing him right tyoure in the porch light, getting bitten by mosquitos. This creates a bunch of loud whooping from everyone except Dan, more people gatyouring to watch the show. Joel about passed out, ready to fall off the porch and die a happy man. He didn’t, holding onto your leg as you giggled into his mouth at the reactions of everyone around them.
After that, only death could separate Joel from you. 
Me and Mary we met in high school
When she was just seventeen
We drive out of this valley
Down to where the fields were green
“Hey Miller!” Dan called after him in the hall, but Joel wasn’t interested in talking to him.
That school year had been a wild one to be sure. You joined the cheer team, but admitted later it was so that you could see Joel more, an excuse to talk to him. Joel was absolutely baffled at the concept that you thought you needed a reason to talk to him after he’d kissed you, but sweet nonetheless. 
Dan had tried in vain to steal you out from under him, but to Joel’s surprise you showed no interest. After that, he got mean. Joel frequently found himself telling Dan to shut the fuck up, defending you even though the relationship still didn’t have a name. It was stolen smiles in class, study dates, choosing to spend your 18th birthday with him at the local diner instead of a party.  DIdn’t matter. He wasn’t going to let Dan talk the way he did about you. It’d never escalated to more than a few shoves in the locker room, resulting in being separated by Tommy and anotyour teammate. Their coach said if Dan causes more problems to let him know.
And then, Dan crossed a line. The crowded hallway was loud, people pushing around to get the hell out of school and onto their next event but Joel heard him loud and clear. The hall got real quiet, everyone between Dan and you and Joel hearing with Dan called you, and it was over. 
“Joel…” You warn, feeling him squeeze your hand tighter. “Don-” but he was gone, letting go and lunging at Dan like he was tackling in a game.
The fight didn’t last long, Joel a little better off than Dan was by the time they were pulled apart, which is why the coach suspended Joel for 2 days instead of Dan. They told the coach, multiple students testifying, what Dan had called you but he never go any repercussions. That just makes Joel all the more happy he broke his nose.
You were his after that. Officially. Boyfriend and girlfriend and inseparable. Every game, you were there cheering him on and every night you worked he was there to walk you home. 
When the summer turned warm, Joel decided he wanted to share something special with you.
It was a secret spot, a place Joel grandpa used to take him and Tommy to fish before he passed. They pair had grown up swimming there when they could get their hands on a car in the summer, and it was somewhere that few people knew about. A quiet lake, the perfect place to fish and swim or just relax. Joel managed to borrow your brothers car, people trusting him as he was responsible, unlike Tommy. He even packed you a picknick, making it a nice date. He knew he was romantic as shit. He didn’t plan on what happened happening, but he knew it would be a special afternoon.
The week after graduation in Texas was already warm, the world bright and happy around him as college approached. You and him had plans to move to Austen together, he had gotten a few good grants for low income students and was going to attend the tech school, get into electrician work. He even knew a place where he could apprentice in the city, and hopefully by the time you graduate with your 4 year degree he would have his journeymans. You had gotten an excellent scholarship, and between that and the money saved from the last few years of both of you working, if you guys budgeted well you would graduate almost debt free. Then, find permanent jobs, get a house, get married, have kids… the entire world was in the palm of your hands.
You hadn’t taken the big step, even after 7 months of dating, you were still virgins. You wanted to… but wyoure? On the bottom bunk of the bunk bed Joel and Tommy still shared in the tiny mobile home? Or at your place, wyoure your mom made you keep the door open at all time? Joel certainly wasn’t going to deflower you in the back of a car, he wasn’t a fucking animal. Still, he liked to think what ended up happening was perfect.
You loved it.
We'd go down to the river
And into the river we'd dive
Oh, down to the river we'd ride
“Joel!!!” An excited squeal escaped your lips as he finished setting everything up. There were even a bundle of wildflowers on the blanket he sprawled out on the grass. 
“M’grandpa used to take me  n’ Tommy here ‘fore he died.” Joel explained, standing up and stepping back to admire his work. There was a tinge of longing, reminiscing on those old days, childhood that he was soon to leave behind for a life with you. There'll always be nostalgia, but he had to fear facing the future with you by his side. He’d do it all in your honor. Joel felt your hand on his back.
“He sounds great, baby.”
Joel smiled. “Yeah, he was.” But he turned to hug yo. The smell of your hair was always something he took his time to appreciate. Throughout these months, he’d learned a lot about taking care of your hair, and absolutely adored the smell of coconut oil. He'd gotten pretty damn good at braiding. Sometimes you’d even put the oil in his hair, and Joel loved the scalp massage too much he was practically purring. That;s how you learned he had a sensitive scalp. Very sensitive.
Got anything to drink?” You smiled, trying to distract him.
He paused for a bit, then finally smiled for the first time tonight. “Yeah, yeah I do.”
Joel pulled out the glasses, iced tea, rum, and sliced lemons; Long Island iced tea.
Joel insisted on holding the ice to your lip as You sipped through your straw and drank his own. Joel was more of a beer guy himself, the guys would never let it go if they caught him drinking this, but for your, he’d drink it. Plus, it actually tastes good. Beer does not.
Now, Joel was Joel again. He laughed along to your stories and shared quips about the guys at the shop as they sat on the blanket he laid out by the banks. He braided your hair back for you, tying it up nice and tight so the river water doesn’t ruin it.
“You ready to swim?” You asked.
Joel grinned “Absolutely. I brought some spare clothes, I figured you couldn’t exactly sneak out with swimwear.”
“Actually…” You stood up. “I was thinking we could just…” You took off your shirt. Joel quickly stood up. “Skinny dip?” 
Joel had felt your tits before. Plenty. You and him had explored things before… but never this. Seeing your breasts in that bra had his mind short circuiting. He was only a man. 
You turned away and began walking towards the river. The Texas sun was setting on your back as you slid your underwear off. Joel never really gotten a good look at your ass until now. Well now, he was taking it all in. 
“You gonna join me? Or just stare at my ass like a perv at a gas station?” He looked up at you and saw you glancing over your shoulder as you unhooked your bra. When you turned back and tossed your bra back to the shore, Joel scrambled out of his jeans and underwear comically fast, hopping out of his last pant leg. Joel grinned wildly as he giggled (did he just giggle?) and ran into the river as he pulled his shirt off.
By the time he reached you, you had dove into the water, swimming out. He caught up to you and pulled your wet frame in, finally taking yor in the kiss he had wanted to give all afternoon. He was careful, ever so careful, not to startle you or move too fast, but he hears you laugh. “Oh my god Joel, just kiss me.”
As the lady wished. He deepened the kiss as you ran fingers through his thick curls, massaging into his scalp. He could feel himself getting hard, so he pulled away. “Time to swim, sweetheart.” As he dove into the water, you got a quick peek at his ass before it re-entered the cool water. Oh man, you could not wait to get a hold of that latter tonight. You swam as the sun peaked, until your bodies were too tired to keep changing between kisses and splashes.
The evening was still warm, but could cool quick. Joel grabbed towels and another drink for the two of you on the blanket. While in the car, he opened his windows and turned up the radio. He helped dry off your hair and body before pulling a blanket over the two of you. The area was private, no one would be here except him. Snuggling into his chest, you signed contently. Joel was your safe place. Despite being naked under the blanket, You felt warm and secure. When “Sister Christian” faded out of the car radio, You listened to the DJ.
“This next song is a request, it goes out from Joel in Arlington. Joel wants you to know how much he’s enjoyed your time together and he hopes for many more nights like tonight. Well, isn’t that sweet. Here’s to you, this is You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac”
You turned to him with a broad smile. “Joel! That’s so sweet” You took him in for a kiss as the opening chords started playing, your dark, naked body pulling up against him.
Joel tried to keep his cool, but fighting his hard-on was getting a lot harder to control. “I wanted to play something by Stevie Nicks, but all the songs I knew that she sang sounded like break up songs.” Joel sucked on your neck.
You moaned out his name. “Oh god… mmm” You tried to keep the conversation going, but he felt so good on your skin. “True, but Silver Springs is a masterpiece…”
“You are a masterpiece…” He murmured between the soft kisses he placed along your stomach. your heart rate kicked up as he crept closer to your sex. 
“Joel…” You pleaded, begging him for more as he kissed the crease of your legs, so, so close to where you needed him to be. Something else entirely. Just when You thought he was finally going to take your in his mouth,  moved past your sex, his beautiful lips tantalizingly grazing over your folds to move towards your inner thighs. “Joel, please, stop teasing…”
“As the lady wants…” Finally, he dove into you.
Then I got Mary pregnant
And man, that was all she wrote
You tasted fantastic. He flattened his tongue as licked up, swirling around your clit, making your whimper. He loved the little sounds You made when he touched you, tasted you. Sliding two fingers inside, Joel worked your lower body with everything in him: his fingers deep inside your, his mouth licking and kissing everywhere in reach, his free hand massaging along your thigh.
In the freedom of the dark night, You felt free to be as loud as You wanted. “FUCK! Fuck Joel, just like that.”
“Fuck, you taste so good”
You gave a breathy laugh “Baby, I taste like river water”
“Like delicious river water” He muttered with an obvious smile;
You giggled “Ew”
Joel hummed “mmmm” the vibration sending another wave through you.
“Oh! Oh God, Joel!” You whimpered when You felt his teeth carefully draw along your sensitive inner thigh.
Joel continued working you, fingering you open carefully until you came on his tongue, tugging on the sweet curl and his oh so sensitive scalp.
You moved your hips up, sending a shock of electricity through him when he felt your thigh rub along his cock.
He kissed into your neck, fighting the strong urge to leave hickies. “If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I was presumptuous?”
“If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I’m easy?”
You could feel a shit eating, teasing grin being pressed into your neck. “I don’t believe in women being easy, I believe in men being lucky.”
With your soft hand, you guided his face back to yours and You gifted him with a kiss. “Do you think you’re lucky tonight?”
He couldn’t help the feral growl that escaped him as he nipped along your neck and chest. “Sweetheart, tonight, I think I’m favored by the gods.” He rolled over and pulled the condom out of his pant pocket and slid it over his length before lining himself up at your entrance and planting a soft kiss on your brow. He touched his forehead to yours. “You want this?” Joel spoke softly in your ear.
You smiled, eyes closed, and nodded, gently tracing the muscles on his back, toned from physical labour.
“More than anything, Joel. Do you?”
When you opened them, Joel was beaming down at you. “More than anything.”
 He felt your grip on his shoulder as he entered your, wet and hot in contrast to the cool air seeping into their little haven. He pulled the blanket over both of their heads to keep the heat between them, to keep the world outside. Right now, only they mattered, only you existed, nothing else could possibly be more important than making you feel beautiful and special and… loved.
You were ethereal. Nothing in the world felt better than you sweet pussy and there was nothing he loved more than you, his beautiful girl giving herself to him, just as he gave himself to you. 
In your little tent, you felt safe, appreciated and adored. Joel always had a way of taking away all your anxieties, his demeanor was always so light and relaxing but fiercely protective. You could feel him hitting deep inside you despite his movements being slow and steady, not wanting to hurt you. He was all kisses: your mouth your jaw, your breasts, your cheeks. As you stretched out your body and put your arms over your head, he ran his hands up your sides, over your breasts and shoulders, along your arms and finally pinning your hand above your. Joel held you to the ground and he picked up his pace, making your toes curl as your orgasm built back up again.
“Mmmm, Joel, baby you feel so good… so good honey”
Joel could feel your tightening around him, he knew you were close. He kissed deep into your mouth that opened for him. You aggressively kissed back, taking his lip between your teeth. “Please baby, I need to feel you.” You wiggled your wrists.
Joel complied, releasing your hands which You returned to his tan skin. When You came around him, he felt your fingernails digging into his shoulder blades, tipping him over the edge. His pace faltered as he rode out his orgasm, pressing tender kisses into your neck.
When they re-emerged from the cover of the blanket, night had completely fallen on the reservoir, the moon shone above the treeline illuminating You’s tan, wet body. “Keep on Lovin You” by REO Speedwagon was in full swing. They laid on the bank of the river, pulling your close just to feel each breath You takes.
There they laid, until Joel heard the rumble of thunder. “We should probably get going, don’t want to get rained on.” No answer. He looked down to see you sleeping against his chest. 5 more minutes won’t hurt… He thought to himself, and watched your sleep for 20 minutes, until you stirred to the sound of the thunder getting closer.
“Hm?” You grumbled into his chest, despite him not saying anything.
“I said we gotta go, it looks like rain.”
“Oh.” You rubbed your eyes and sat up. “Oh shit, I forgot we were naked.”
Joel stood up and gathered your clothes that You had practically stripped off for him, then got dressed himself.
It was that July you told him you were pregnant.
And for my nineteenth birthday
I got a union card and a wedding coat
We went down to the courthouse
And the judge put it all to rest
No wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle
No flowers, no wedding dress
Everything changed after that, 
Not the love you had for each other, no, not that.
But everything else.
Your parents kicked you out when you told them, and Joel’s family let you move in, kind enough to let you take the couch, until a week later you and Joel were married at the courthouse. You spend your wedding night on the bottom of a bunk bed, Tommy staying with a friend for the night to offer you some privacy.
Life wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t the worst. No trade school, no apprenticeship, no journeymans, but Joel found a union job which was good. You continued working your job at the diner until Sarah was born, the best day of Joel’s life.
The next 5 years would be difficult, late bills and a sick baby, union going on strike, but no matter what, he had you. Always had you, his beautiful girl. Sometimes, Joel would ask Tommy to watch Sarah for a few hours, and he’d take you back to the river, back to where she was conceived. He couldn’t say he regretted it, but when this life brought him his baby. He couldn’t regret anything with you, honestly. Every struggle was worth it for his little family.
It was here you told him about the cancer.
Now all them things that seemed so important
Well mister they vanished right into the air
Now I just act like I don't remember
Mary acts like she don't care
Joel watched as a preteen Sarah swam around the river, Tommy and Joel parked with chairs close enough their feet were wet. Joel supposed she was technically a teen now… but it felt wrong to say his baby was a teenager of all things. 13 could be a preteen, just one more year. He had braided her hair back the same way he always did yours, the memory of which always tore at his chest. There were a few years there he didn’t take her, the last time Sarah had been was when she was 6.
 The chemo had taken its toll on you, but you wanted this last summer with your daughter. Joel had carried you in, your body to weak to stand for long but once you were in again, you were at ease. The water helped you move, taking pressure off your joints and Sarah, as little as she was played gently with you, knowing her mom was fragile. Joel loved how much you loved her, how much Sarah adored you, and it killed him. It killed him to know there wasn’t much longer left. 
Joel watched as you floated, taking in the sun on your skin as Sarah did the same. Two peas in a pod.
You died two days later.
But I remember us riding in my brother's car
Her body tan and wet, down at the reservoir
At night on them banks I'd lie awake
And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take
Now those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
Joel didn’t take her again until she was 10. He couldn’t stomach it, so Tommy did, wanting to keep the family place alive.
“You alright, brother?” Tommy asked, cool beer in his hand.
Joel sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Just….” He shook his head, watching as Sarah went under to do a handstand. “She looks so much like her mom, doesn’t she?”
When Sarah popped up again, Joel and Tommy cheered for her in encouragement.
“Yeah, that she does.”
School was starting soon, and Joel would have less time with her, so he was savoring these little moments, just as their family. Just the three of them. Joel still felt you here, present with him in these ways, even after all these years. 
2003 marked 7 years since your death, and every day Sarah grew to look more like you.
Now those memories come back to haunt me
They haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
That sends me down to the river
Though I know the river is dry
That sends me down to the river tonight
Down to the river
My baby and I
Oh, down to the river we ride
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SPOILER!!! Reader dies.
Thak you soooo muc for reading, i know my last fic and this one have been downers, and i gonna be honest, my final joel piece before leaving the fandom wil be bittersweet too ;-;
Thank you for all the love you've given me!!!
Taggint htose whove expressed interest. I think. if i mistagged you im sorry!!! its late for me
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @msjarvis @grogusmum @hiroikegawa @jennaispunk @fandxmslxt69 @sweetlummie
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faaun · 6 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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coridallasmultipass · 1 month
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I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!
It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.
Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)
Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-
#i think the one i just used didnt even have a separate billing address option which makes no sense#guess they dont want anyone giving any gifts making the buyer pay twice for shipping like that#maybe it was a fault of the mobile browser but i highly doubt it since many desktop sites look like mobile browsers these days#just so fucking frustrating. what if i lived somewhere where my legal name would out me? (im in the closet rn so doesnt matter)#i dont want to fucking see my legal name. im already forced to see it everywhere else.#i dont wanna ruin my mood on a day when im supposed to be getting a package which should be a happy thing yknow#vent#transphobia#speaking of like i would change my name but i dont want to and cant afford the fucking ridiculous price for it#and i dont wanna advertise it in a newspaper either! shits expensive as fuck on top of the hundreds to file the court paperwork!#i already tried to do it once with money in hand and the receptionist told me that even tho it was for gender identity i could not...#...avoid the newspaper thing unless i also changed my legal gender marker. and i had to back out bc i have reproductive health problems#i dont want a gender marker change to fuck with my getting healthcare#(i did change the gender letter on my ID card later tho which only took a signature on a paper no hassle with anything)#it really really fucking sucks how all these little things add up all the time#especially when im closeted while living w family who wont even use my preferred name#the real kicker is that. both my dad and his dad used preferred names. my dad used his middle name#and i use part of my middle name. yet my dad even in death still gets the dignity of being called his preferred name and i dont#sexism at its finest#reasons why i dont even hint at being trans around my moms side bc i already got bullied by them for wanting to use my middle name#ive literally been asking them to call me my mid name since i was 12. and theyve been acting like im trying to be someone else#its the same middle name on my birth certificate they gave me. i dont understand why they wouldnt want me to use it#but yeah i stay closeted bc i dont wanna deal with the name drama amplified exponentially for gender#prob get kicked out too cuz theyre queerphobic as fuck and i cant work rn and dont have a car#id have to just go full feral and live in the woods with the lizards where i belong#Cori.exe#Post.exe#fuck lol just looked it up and u cant change ur first name if u get married. i cant avoid the fucking fee man. let me be cori#literally why is it cheaper to get married than change ur first name! bullshit! marriage has so much more legal implications#transphobic queerphobic aromanticphobic privacyphobic poorphobic shit ass fucking state ive literally been cori most of my life ffs cmon
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sylhea-raemi · 1 year
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the nero and airi connection is so important it's not just bcs theyre my faves
#sylhea talks maydare#i swear i made a post abt this somewhere but rn im remembering why them meeting and talking was may fav chapter it's so so important#like look theyre both- in a way- 'taken in' by kanon. kanon chose airi to be the saviour while kanon saved nero bcs he's essential#airi got kanon's 'hero' while nero got kanon's 'king'. one of them feared kanon while the other admires him#and yet kanon is their saviour. he took them away from a world that is cruel to them. yet airi and nero have different circumstances#oh my god wait there's more similarities than i thought#both of them were taken just after their important people had died and in a vulnerable state#airi back thwn had a childish (not meant to be /neg) mind while nero in the past was just a child#both are given a responsibility and both accepted them in different ways. while airi was in the delusion she's the 'protagonist' of maydare#nero understood what his purpose and what he's supposed to do. but also both of them wanted something they desire. they wanted 'peace'.#both of them wanted to be in a world where they can live freely. airi wanted to live the most of her delusions while nero wanted to live#the most of his life as a normal student. different but to its core they only wanted peace and be themselves freely.#and in the end both of them understood that they have to act their role in order to achieve that peace in this worl. they know they had to#face forward and fight.#IT'S THIS LONG AND IM NOT EVEN GETTING INTO WHAT MADE ME START THIS 😭 atp their parallels is the main focus here#so all of those and there's more. makia. their connection to makia.#nero is a friend of makia while airi is a friend of kazuha. and the people who knew about makia's past.#i'm guessing nero only knew makia's past life as the scarlet witch and dont know about her other past life#while airi only knew about makia's past as kazuha and didn't know about her being a reincarnation of scarlet witch#nero talking to airi about makia was also very important bcs yes makia already slapped airi into reality and makia was able to do it#bcs not only is she born and raised in maydare she also have memories of the other world. nero who is PURELY from this world and donxt know#about the other world helped airi accept that this IS an actual world. makia ACTUALLY lived in this world and she learned that from nero.#lmao i know that wasnt the intention bcs the intention was nero saying all that so there's proof makia really is the reincarnation of makia#but i'm already this far bro nero who's purely from maydare that came to know of the other world from someone else#and airi who is purely from the other world and isekai'd by someone else to maydare#it's so fascinating#god when this chapter comes to manga im hoping ppl dont immediately ship them#bcs to be honest i dont think airi is interested in men at all and nero is interested in romance in general#plus nero is 16 y/o while airi is 20 y/o so there's that LMAO#it's so insane to me how much damage airi actually had her experiences was actually REALLY traumatic
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continually and constantly thinking about Hawkeye: "And you're my best friend, I never got along this well with anybody, moron!" BJ: "well, that goes double for me, stupid!"
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arolesbianism · 3 months
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Guys why is rain world so good (<- rewatched some scenes and teared up on all of them)
#rat rambles#rain posting#god man. holy shit. fuckkkkkk#rain world may not be one of my token big interests but god does it just hit me so fucking hard whenever I do engage with it#I also think after rewatching some stuff that my general takes on how rain world's world works have shifted a smidge#which is also giving me some more ideas for saint hcs#I feel like the biggest thing Im seeing differently now is the concept that the saint has no beginning or end#one big theme of rain world is the way that all cycles eventually come to an end#societies iterators and even the lives of the animals that wander about#theyre trapped but within these cycles they still move forward and eventually fade just like everything else#but the saint doesnt. they never can. in that way they are a paradox#for when even time itself eventually fades what becomes of the being who will never be allowed to slow in their decent?#overlapping onto themself infinitely until what is and isn't them becomes irrelevant#have they lived many times or were they ever even alive to begin with?#at the end of the day they will never know. its a peace they wont ever find#as they are simply a lil guy who is stuck in a real mind boggling situation#anyways thanks pebbles dialogue for helping me get a better grasp on saint stuff have fun being dead buddy#it also makes me feel even worse for the echos because theyre likely in similar positions#not the exact same given Im sure none of them had the powers to fly and ascend ppl but still#in my minds eye tho theyre more themselves than saint is#for better or for worse#the rest of the echos are stationary. unable to move forwards or back#while the saint continues to spiral onwards and onwards in ways that break the very core of this universe#or smth like that idk. Im just rambling abt nonsense at this point lol#but yeah I imagine the sain to be both trapped and stretched across time#most things exists whinin cycles of cycles but the saint takes that concept to the extreme#most things much more so develop and change as time moves forward but the saint kind of just is#but like. is a lot. like there's a lot of them. but that them is stretched like super thin#they overlap themself and keep stretching to infinity#and with that sort of overlap it makes sense that in what conscious state they do have they simply experience each overlap eternally
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histskins · 1 year
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pondering the logistics of getting a small terrier again when we move
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corvidcall · 2 years
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Did you ever tell the story of why ******* kicked you out because she forgot to pick you up from work on here? I remember it happening in real time and it was not funny but in retrospect, it's 200 upvotes on reddit material lol
LMAO its so funny you censored her name. like shes gonna be here or something. cant let her know i still think shes a bitch!!!!!
anyway heres fun little anecdote about that time i was forced to move out, in the style of an aita post, fake names and all
AITA for being mad at my roommate for not driving my somewhere?
I (22nb) live with two roommates, Makenzie (22f) and Justin (19 trans m). We all met because we worked at the same place, and we've been living together for almost a year. Of the three of us, I'm the only one who has lived with roommates before, but I can't tell if I'm being TA here?
Makenzie is the only one of us who can drive, and she agreed when we moved in together that, if we gave her some money to buy her mom's car, then she would drive us places whenever she was able. I work a little over a mile away from our apartment, so I CAN walk, but since I get off work at around 9pm, and the sidewalks aren't really well-maintained (it's a really industrial part of town, so it's not GREAT for walking), she agreed that she would pick me up after work every day.
Last week, I got off work, and waited for her to show up, and she never came. I texted her a few times, and when she didn't respond after I'd been waiting for almost an hour, I texted that I would be walking home. Apparently, she'd fallen asleep, and midway through my walk home, she woke up, got in her car, and tried to come find me to drive me home. She couldn't find me (the sidewalk is really hard to see from the road, and it's extremely dark, so I'm not surprised), and then frantically tried to get a hold of me to make sure I wasn't dead. I didn't see her texts because I was 1. walking and 2. on the phone with my partner. When I got home, she was pissed that I made her worry. She thinks I did it on purpose to get revenge? I told her I was just busy, and she seemed to accept that, but today she and our other roommate sat me down and told me that I needed to find a new place to live, because "this wasn't working out."
According to her, I'm not entitled to a ride anywhere, so I had no right to be mad at her for not giving me a ride, and I certainly didn't have a right to make her think I was dead (I literally told her I was walking home??). She also brought up that I never do my chores on the chore wheel (she made the chore wheel without asking. She just announced that she'd made a chore wheel and I had to clean the living room, which I'm almost never in anyway) and that I owe her $200 (from when we adopted our cat, which I think is weird to bring up when you're trying to kick me out?? it's not like I'm gonna get to keep the cat). She's saying I'm entitled and inconsiderate, but I feel like she's punishing me for the fact that she flaked. AITA?
Edit: If it helps, she's flaked on rides before. A few months ago, she agreed to take me to the doctor, and then the day before my appointment, she told me she couldn't give me a ride. The reason she flaked was because she wanted to go to the weed dispensary instead :/ she said it was fine, because "your mom will just get you an uber anyway". My mom agreed to pay all my necessary expenses while I'm in school (I'm a full time student; she pays my rent and I use the money from my part time job to pay for my food) but she's not like. Rich. I don't feel good about just spending her money on stuff I don't have to.
UPDATE: Makenzie made a post on Facebook about how "it's so sad when someone would rather lose a friendship than admit they were wrong." I shouldn't have commented, but I did, asking her if she forgot we were facebook friends, and then I blocked her. In retrospect, I should have just blocked her without commenting, but I'm only human.
UPDATE 2: Well, I'm moving out. Justin started harassing me, accusing me of stealing his shampoo and letting the cat loose on purpose, neither of which I did. I have my own nicer shampoo, and I love cats (I just was asleep when he told me the cat was missing, because it was midnight and I wake up at 6 am to go to school. I guess the fact that I didn't immediately leap to my feet to find our cat means I wanted him dead???) Makenzie is refusing to give back my deposit, because she says she needs to have the carpets in my room professionally cleaned before a new roommate can move in. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But I guess I'm willing to pay a couple hundred dollars to not deal with this anymore. Still, sucks. :/
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you are john. it has been, what, like eight or ten months since you sent out the notices about the new round of lyctor trials? you have a weird dream one night and decide, on a whim, to check in on how the trials are going. 
you phone home (its not home, home is gone). no one picks up. thats weird, and kind of concerning, so you go to check. canaan house is empty, even of the constructs you left to act as bodies for the partitioned bit of your soul-conglomerate you left there. there seem to be a lot of weird zombies on various continents. whoops, looks like some of the partitions of your soul-network need to be tuned up. well, you can do that after you figure out where the contestants went. 
an extensive round of investigation later, you land on the ninth. yep, that sure does seem to be the missing contestants. and the canaan house priests. and cytherea is here, for some reason. probably plotting against you. and... oh, annabel, good morning. 
while you are getting stabbed by your cavalier, you cant help but notice that it looks like some of the contestants did, in fact, achieve lyctorhood. but uh, definitely not the way they were supposed to. 
#to wit: the sixth and seventh have formed a soul network. only the sixth have living bodies#for some reason the dead body of the seventh cav is being possessed by that BoE bitch your hands were conspiring with almost 20 years ago?#there are 3 members of the third house here? and the actual cav is not involved in thenew 3rd house lyctorhood bond at all aside from#teaching swordsmanship to the? new 3rd cav? who is the necros sister apparently#the fitth havent made a lyctor bond yet but they Do appear to be having something going on with [checks notes] the guy who is supposed to#be the actual ninth cav but apparently isnt. wait so who went as the ninth c— uh. uhhhhhh#okay so you have a kid and the ninth has apparently joined your soul network at some point without you noticing wait wait what is this#wake-me-up-inside is on your soul network too??? youve been hacked.#as for whats going on with the rest: bc if various revelations the 8th have cancelled god who clearly doesnt understand how to#do soul magic in a Right and Proper manner. both the two who were at the trials and once they get the message back the entire house will be#up in arms about it and while the sixth have already been ready to break off from the empire if need be the eighth may try to like. take it#over? it wont go well. either way we are looking at a bigtime schism here#the fourth are trying to get good at enough at soul stuff to do one of the cooler lyctorhoods they have now learned about. the fifth are#trying to stop them from doing this and the most convincing argument theyve had thus far is that they should get past puberty first in case#the type of lyctorhood they end up doing is one of the 'freezes you at that state' one instead of the 'well the ninth aged so#clearly its possible somehow' version. the second were in the timeout corner for a while but there have been. a lot of revelations#and when you are finding stuff out firsthand and being told it directly by gods saint and his cavalier its a little harder to ignore than#if you are traumatized and on the verge of death and being told stuff by insurgents from outside the empire#also gideon has been popping back to earth a lot to 1) get sunlight 2) fight zombies for fun 3) forage for now-feral crop plants to bring#back to the ninth bc damned if shes going back to snow leeks now. also this is how shes dealing with her breakup from cytherea. and getting#space from her mom who sucks and from the drama of finding out her dad is the emperor who also sucks and that she and harrow have a#soul connection sort of that may or may not make them immortal and just. its a lot of questions. a lot of unpleasantness. a lot of pressure#hangin around on the ninth which doesnt feel big enough to get away from the drama. so shes#using her fucking teleportation powers to try her hand at shitty cottagecore life on a zombie-infested tomb of a planet instead of. yknow.#her other hometown tomb planet which is now also a little zombie-infested in a different way
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bpmiranda · 27 days
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I can’t get the idea of Logan having ruts and going feral because of his mutation out of my head lol. Could you write a quick story about the reader having to experience that for the first time please? Thank you!
Let Me Help (Logan Howlett) nsfw
A/N: 18+ f!reader, nonmutant!reader, feral!logan, mentions of breeding, oral f! receiving, rough sex
For about two days now, Logan had been avoiding you. You weren’t quite sure what it was that you could’ve done to upset him that much, but you felt insecure in yourself as the most attention he seemed to want to give you was a quick peck on the cheek before you both parted ways in the morning.
What Logan had not told you in the time you had started seeing each other was that due to his mutation, he often experienced the same behavioral changes as an animal. He couldn’t possibly bring himself to put you through this, however, not his sweet girl. But Logan didn’t count on you being so tenacious.
“Lo,” You murmur quietly from the hallways as you peer at him sitting in the living room where he’s smoking a cigar and drinking a beer when he should be in bed with you by now. His eyes meet yours and he offers you a kind smile. “Don’t you want to come to bed?” You ask, stepping out into the living room in the shortest pajama shorts you could find and a little matching camisole.
Logan inhaled sharply, the sight of you making him ache. His heart is beating fast and he feels the animal inside him urging to get out, to attack. “No,” He says curtly, turning away from you and closing his eyes, willing himself to hold his ground. Your bare feet pad slowly over to him and he wants to bolt for the door, but he also wants to slam you down on the couch and take you right there. “Sweetheart,” His tone is warning as you carefully move to sit down on his lap and straddle him.
“You haven’t touched me in two days,” You say sadly and his heart breaks. It wasn’t his intention to make you feel like he didn’t desire you, but he couldn’t trust himself to control himself with you while he was in this state. “Did I do something wrong?” You pout.
A small sigh escapes him and he set the cigar in the ashtray and his beer on the coffee table. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong, sweet girl.” He said as he let himself rub on your thighs. His eyes fall over your chest, your nipples are softly showing through your thin tank top, he can smell your natural scent, it’s making him uneasy. “I just - mm - I’m working through something right now.”
“Can I help?” You ask brightly, hoping you’ve figured out how you can fix things between you and your man. Logan smiles and shakes his head while thinking, you’re the only one that could.
“I can’t ask you to help me with this, sweetheart.” He says, grunting softly as you move in his lap and wrap your arms around his neck.
“Logan?” You murmur, your hands running through his hair as he rubs on your ass. “Do you still find me attractive?” Your eyes are welling with tears and Logan knows he’s fucked up when he hears you sniff.
With a sigh, he pulls you back so that he can hold your teary face in his hands and he gives you a sympathetic look. “Of course I do, Y/N, you’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen walk this Earth. I can’t get enough of you, sweet girl.” He says as he kisses your nose and you give him a weak smile. “I’m in a rut, baby.” He finally says and you give him a confused look, thinking you know what he means, but he shakes his head. “And not in a dull routine type of rut. It’s, well, more animal than that.”
“Oh,” You murmur, knowing now exactly what he’s talking about. Your teeth bite down on your bottom lip and you place your hands over his and slowly guide them down to your breasts. Logan’s breath hitches in his throat and he goes to move away only for you to hold him there. “Let me help you.”
Logan shakes his head sternly. “No.”
“You won’t hurt me.” You insist, slowly rolling your hips into him and he growls lowly, his hands gripping your breasts making you hum in pleasure. “Please, Logan, I miss you so much.”
“Sweetheart, I can’t control that side of me. I’ll hurt you and not even know it.” He argues, making you pout, and he sighs. “Be good for me, okay? Just stay out of my way for the next three or so days, no more of these little outfits either. I’ll be just fine. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Y/N nodded sadly, still not moving off his lap, but letting him take his hands off your chest. “Can I at least have a kiss?” You ask innocently enough for Logan to smile and nod. Your hands latch onto his neck as you lean in and kiss him softly, slowly while he caresses your back and thighs. The taste of the cigar he was smoking and the beer he was drinking makes your mind fuzzy and you only want more, you want to savor every bit of him. Logan can’t pull away, and you don’t make a move to separate yourself either. Your hips begin to move again and he groans your name in a warning tone. “Please,” You breathe desperately against his lips and his hold is so tight on your thighs you can feel the bruises forming already. “Yes, please.”
“Damn it,” He growls as he takes control of the kiss and lays you down on the couch, climbing over you quickly as he devours your neck, marking you immediately and making you whimper underneath his heavy frame. “I can’t stop once I start, Y/N. Are you sure?” He asks as he’s already tugging your shorts off roughly, the smell of your arousal making his thoughts center around one thing only, and you nod quickly, gasping as he pushes your thighs to your chest to dive face first into your cunt.
You’re holding tightly onto the back of the couch, one hand gripping on his hair as he’s groaning and lapping into your pussy. The sound is so filthy, so desperate, as if he had starved in those two days, and you knew how big his appetite usually was on a normal day. “Oh, my God, Logan!” You moan, your head rolling back as you feel your walls clench around his tongue as it’s burrowing into you, not slowing even as your release with a light squirt.
“You always taste so damn good, baby,” Logan groans, lapping at your hungrily, petting your clit with his thumb while he’s got your knees in one hand to keep your legs elevated and together. “Like a plum, so fucking delicious.” His words make you tremble with pleasure and he’s still playing with your cunt, making your vision blurry as the stimulus of pleasure does not cease. A small whine falls out of your lips and he makes you swallow it as he kisses you hungrily, his tongue pushing past your lips and bringing your own tongue into to his mouth. “C’mon, baby, wanna feel that little pussy wrapped around me.”
Logan carries you to the bedroom where you spend the next four hours trapped underneath him.
“L-Logan!” You scream as he’s plummeting roughly into you from behind. His hand is holding your head down into the pillows while the other one is spanking your ass between thrusts, groaning as he watches your ass jiggle from the force.
It’s your third orgasm, and it’s coming up fast, much faster than the first two. Your insides feel gummy and numb as his thick cock drives into your mercilessly, searching for the furthest depth at which he can fill you. “Fuck, you’ve got the prettiest ass.” He groans, suddenly stopping while he’s pressed right up to your cervix and he’s squeezing your ass making you cry. “It’s okay, baby.” He murmurs, pulling out to kiss your ass, bite it, spank it lightly and you can feel his cum that had been plugged inside you by his cock now running down your thighs. “That’s a damn sight right there.” He sighs and you feel a little embarrassed, mainly aroused at the way he’s contemplating your disheveled appearance. “Wouldn’t you love to be fucked full of my babies?” He asks sweetly as he fingers his cum back into your aching pussy.
“Logan, more, please.” You beg weakly, your voice hoarse from screaming and crying. Logan chuckles and he realigns his tip to your pulsing core which is already sucking him back in and he hisses at the feeling, the sight of you desperate for him.
“The things you do to me, sweetheart.” He growls as he continues his brutal pace from before and you close your eyes, hot tears slipping out of the corners as you feel him use you.
By now, your legs feel like jelly, they’re trembling something awful on his shoulders while he’s rubbing them tenderly, pounding into you roughly while cooing at you. Your eyes burn from the fresh hot tears flooding them and running down your cheeks, your cunt is overused and red from his incessant pace. “You’re such a helpful little thing, sweet girl,” Logan murmurs, leaning forward as he holds your knees against your chest to kiss you. You cry against his lips, your whole body shaking underneath this heavy weight as he’s rutting deeply and purposefully into you. “Look at you taking me so well, does it hurt?” He asks and you bravely shake your head, wanting him to use you. Logan groans, knows your lying, and he picks up the pace anyway, bearing his weight on your thighs as he lifts himself up slightly to jackhammer into your oversensitive pussy.
“Ah!” You sob, your mouth falling open as you take it, clutching tightly onto his thighs as he growls while spilling his seed inside you for the third time. “Ah,” You whimper as he pulls out of you. “More, please.”
Now you’re sitting in his lap, straddling him, and he’s telling you to take it slow while he’s fucking into you from below, unable to relinquish control. His hands are firmly holding you by the arms and he’s fucking you down into his cock, more tears spill from your eyes. Logan’s unbelievably aroused watching you cry and pout, your tits bouncing obscenely as he’s bouncing you like a doll. His little doll. “I love you so damn much, sweet girl.” He says, pinning you down on his lap so he can kiss you, tasting your salty tears and smiling as you kiss him back weakly, a meek cry coming from your throat. “You love me, baby?” You nod, leaning back in to kiss him again and you make out gently as you continue bouncing on him. “Goddamnit!” He growls, letting go of your arms so he can wrap his arms around your waist as he holds you against him and fucks his last load deep into you. Your head falls weakly on his shoulder as you wrap your arms around his neck, your pussy contracting around his throbbing cock as he spurts his cum on your walls.
A soft sob leaves your lips as he finally stills inside you and every ache and bruise consumes your body, but you love it. “You feel better?” You ask in such a soft whisper that tugs on his heartstrings.
“Yeah, sweetheart, I feel better.” He murmurs against your shoulder, kissing your neck softly as he can feel you growing heavy in his arms.
“I helped?”
Logan chuckles, scratching your scalp lightly as he kisses your cheek. “Yes, sweet girl, you helped.”
🤧😓🫠
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toadtoru · 1 month
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PLAY ME
contents: sukuna x f! reader, fluff, suggestive, pet names (baby, pretty girl), college/modern au
wordcount: 1k
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Sukuna doesn’t usually go for women like you. He doesn’t necessarily have type, never has. Sukuna likes small women and big women, shy women and outgoing women. If he can get his dick wet he’s happy, really.
You’re different somehow. He’s not really sure why. Usually, he loses interest after a few days, but you’ve somehow kept his and he hasn’t even fucked you yet.
It all started when he saw you at that stuffy frat party weeks ago. You were laughing. Loudly. Your head was thrown back and the skin around your eyes crinkled and you looked exceptionally pretty right in that moment. Sukuna immediately stopped, because what the actual fuck?
Sukuna doesn’t find girls pretty. He finds them fuckable, or hot, maybe. He never finds them pretty.
That’s why he quickly walks past you into the kitchen, grabbing a vodka bottle from someone and roughly downing half of the bottle. He wakes up the next morning in some girl's bed and leaves before she wakes up.
This is where the fucking curse starts. Sukuna sees you everywhere now. He spots you on campus, he spots you at the cafe where Gojo forces him to study, he spots you at his favourite bar.
You’re always vibrant. You’re always smiling. You’re fucking annoying.
Which is why he wishes he wasn’t here right now. You’re at the other end of the table, on Nanami’s back. You peek out from behind the blonde’s shoulder, slightly pocking your tongue out as you aim for the cup on the table in front of him.
Gojo, who’s unfortunately Sukuna’s beer pong partner, and who’s also drunk out of his mind, is teasingly telling you how you can’t do it. You wink at him in return, and throw the ball, landing it perfectly in the cup.
You and Nanami immediately erupt into cheers as he spins you both around. His arms are hooked under your knees and you wrap your arms around his neck. Sukuna isn’t sure why he’s feeling so annoyed about this. He notices that Nanami seems more lively than usual. That only bothers him some more.
Gojo goes to drink the beer in the cup before Sukuna quickly grabs it and downs the contents. “Hey, I was going to drink that!” Gojo whines and Sukuna shoots him a glare.
“Fuck off, you’re wasted,” he states. He looks back at his opponents, only to find Haibara standing next to Nanami instead of you.
What the fuck?
He’s still not sure, but he excuses himself to the bathroom then, ignoring Gojo’s whines as he disappears into a flurry of sweaty bodies and yelling people. He doesn’t go to the bathroom. Instead, he finds you in the kitchen, sitting on the kitchen counter with a water bottle in your hand.
“You not gonna finish the game?” he asks and you look at him questioningly. “No, Haibara wanted to play,” you reply, before motioning to the water bottle.
“And I was thirsty,” you finish, before taking another sip of your water. Sukuna hums. He walks closer to you so that he’s standing between your legs and he smiles at you as your eyes slightly widen. His fingers drum over your thighs and you swallow your water before putting it aside.
“Your name is Sukuna, right?” you ask and he nods, pleased that his reputation precedes him. His hands are on your hips now, running up and down your sides.
“Yeah, what’s your name, baby?” he asks and you give him your name. You don’t go to stop his hands, although you fully know what kind of guy Sukuna is. Something about the way he looks at you intrigues you, enough to let him play his little game.
Sukuna repeats your name back to you as if he’s tasting the word. “Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he states and you raise your brows, a small scoff leaving your lips. Sukuna is taken aback for a second, surprised by your reaction. Your usual sunshine demeanour seems to have been reserved for other people.
“Okay,” you say, dragging out the syllables. “Listen, Sukuna,” he can’t help but think his name sounds so pretty on your lips. “Why don’t we skip the games and you tell me what you want?” you ask, slightly tilting your head to the side.
Sukuna isn’t really sure what happens next, but one thing is certain — you have him completely wrapped around your finger. You let him lead you to his apartment (and Sukuna never takes his hookups home, that is, until now) and before he can register anything, you are in his bed.
You’re stripped out of your pretty dress and left on his white sheets in a pretty lingerie set. Pink, he notices. That’s when he realizes he’s been played. He takes you in in all of your glory, eyes running over your curves.
It’s when he has you here, splayed out on his sheets, gasping into his ear that he realizes that he’s fucked. Like, utterly, completely, thoroughly fucked.
It isn’t even your body, although he enjoys that part very much. It’s the ways your eyes shine when you smile, how your lips look all kiss-bitten and red, how you hum in his ear and tell him he’s doing a good job.
Sukuna’s utterly weak in the knees. You’ve turned them into goo. You’ve turned him into goo. His brain is mushy, his fingers fumble. He dreads your reaction, dreads the frown on your face, but you’re all giggles and smiles, guiding him with such effortlessness.
And the next morning you’re gone.
Sukuna figures. Everything good always leaves. Your side of the bed is cold, offputtingly so. Like something’s missing. That’s how it goes. That’s why he’s like this. He forgot why he keeps his distance, but he promises to never ever do that again. He shouldn’t have let you bulldoze his carefully crafted walls so easily—
Wait.
Is that toast?
Sukuna follows the smell into his kitchen, where you’re wearing nothing but his shirt and that lovely pair of pink panties. He can see the bitemarks and handprints on your thighs that he made sure to leave last night. Staking his claim.
You turn around and you smile, lighting up his dull bachelor kitchen. Sukuna feels the desire to buy a plant. Or some more cutlery, perhaps.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,”
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denial is a river in egypt.
also idk if i made this clear enough, but this isn’t some “not like other girls” propaganda, sukuna is just a fucking idiot
thank you for reading! <3
masterlist | divider by plutism
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