#and they would both laugh and be like 'ah yeah good one buddy' and internally screaming 💀

[sandwichmustbetasty]

I should be writting my thesis, but I am once again plagued with Dragon Age brainrot.

VARRIC/HAWKE OH MY GOD. The sheer potential for angst, the longing the pining and the ever present question of Bianca. Blue Hawke would be a mess. He would totally stay in the fade - he already lost his family, Carver's doing good with Wardens, his friends have their own life, and Varric? Varric's fine. He always is. He always has Bianca after all.

And Varric's complicated and repressed feelings would just hit him straight in the gut the moment the first shock would fade. He's in love with Hawke, has been for so long.

And now Hawke is dead. And now there is nothing to be done about this stupid stupid feeling he cradled so close to his chest he didn't even realise it was there. Varric would not be doing fine. Oh he would repress everything again and try to be his old self, but he'd rather avoid Cole, thank you very much.

And without Hawke there would be no-one to call him out on his bullshit. Not that they were ever any good about talking about feelings.

But Varric would stay up in his room, staring at the wall, haunted by the memories of Hawke's smiling face, of all the late evening where they would stay up, snuggled close somewhere in Hanged Man, drunk and too tired to move, laughing at some stupid hardly funny jokes. He would realise with a stark clarity that there was nothing of Hawke in his possesion but those sweet, painful memories. There was no memento, no trinket, nothing. You bet he would find his pack (if he left anything in Skyhold or in the camp) and pull out some tattered red shirt and hold on to that for the rest of his life.

welp, now i'm gonna cry.

[deanstead]

Marry That Girl

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: no

Word Count: 600+

Tags/Warnings: none

A/N: Short one because I haven't released something for Jay in way too long! This has been sitting in my WIP drafts for the longest time so I finally got it written! An anon requested something similar for Will but since I had a half-written fic, I finished this and posting this instead! As always thanks to bestie @seatsbythepit for being my beta queen~!

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

You hadn’t thought this through.

It sounded like an innocent enough date when Jay had asked if you wanted to go watch the game. You hadn't been dating for long, and every day felt a little unreal in a ‘I can’t believe Jay Halstead wants to go out with me’ kind of way, and you appreciated every opportunity you got to spend with Jay especially since you never knew if he would have to go undercover or spend nights at the district trying to clear a case.

But now that the game was approaching, you were in a bit of a panic.

You enjoyed watching a game, but you didn’t always know what you were watching or doing, and you weren’t sure you were ready to let Jay see that side of you.

“Y/N, everything okay?” Kelly’s voice interrupted your internalized panic and you glanced up.

“Ah, I should have thought of you!” You proclaimed, earning yourself an eyebrow raise from the squad lieutenant. “I need your help.”

Kelly raised an eyebrow but chuckled before nodding toward his office.

You thanked all the stars that it was a quieter shift. After all, an entirely quiet shift didn’t exist at Firehouse 51. But at least that’s the way you liked it.

Kelly gave you a crash course, but not without reminding you that you owed him one. You spent the rest of the downtime studying it so that at least you’d have something smart to say, even though there were a few times you wondered what the hell you were doing.

Hard work indeed paid off.

You walked out of the game, feeling a little embarrassed as Jay’s friends gushed over you.

“Jay, you got a good one. My girlfriend doesn’t even want to come to games with me.” One of his buddies quipped.

Jay laughed, putting an arm around you and grinning. “Hey, should I be worried? What if you guys just call her for the games instead?”

The laughter rumbled through the group as they all nodded, teasing Jay that they’d rather call you instead of him in the future.

You really did owe Kelly one.

As his friends dispersed, calling that Jay had better bring you out for the next game, Jay’s phone rang.

You nodded at him, telling him he’d better take it, assuring him that you and Will wouldn’t leave him behind.

Jay took the call from Voight, glancing toward where you and Will were talking as he nodded. “Yeah, I got it. I’ll be right in.”

Jay could feel the dread in his gut, that felt just a little too much like guilt that he had to blow off again tonight even though he’d promised a nice after-game dinner and maybe some drinks and cuddling.

“This is why you don’t promise anything, Jay.” He mumbled to himself, before he walked back toward the both of you.

“Hey, Y/N, I…”

You glanced at the look on Jay’s face and just smiled. “Gotcha.”

“Sorry.” Jay couldn’t even say anything more because everything else in his head sounded like an excuse.

“I’m not saying I’m not disappointed, because I kinda am. But I get it. And if these were bells going off for the ambulance, I’d do the same thing you’re doing now. So, go.” You paused. “But you owe me a mind-blowing date.”

Jay laughed and nodded. “That, I definitely do.”

You shot him a huge smile and headed off toward Jay’s truck to wait because you knew he’d at least take you home before heading back down to wherever he was supposed to go.

Will watched the exchange with a mix of amusement and awe before he glanced at his younger brother.

“Jay?” Will called, before Jay and him headed off in different directions.

Jay glanced up at Will and Will smiled. “You better marry that girl.”

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

[canarypoint]

Highways and Heart Eyes

A/N: hi it’s been a while...(?) unrelated but the brie larson thing that’s going around is stuck in my head because it’s like 60% of my fyp on tiktok rn. this is inspired/based on a story my mom told me last week lmao

A/N #2 (edit): so i’m an idiot and i forgot to give it a title but if anyone noticed that before i edited it, no you didn’t.

Pairing(s): Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warning(s): none? my really bad attempts at writing flirting?

Steve can say with one-hundred percent certainty that I-95 is simultaneously one of the greatest and worst things built in his time in the ice. The potholes are concerning enough, add to it the barely-bright-enough street lights and the exhausted, largely untrustworthy drivers racing their way home at almost midnight?

He almost prefers fighting Nazis or the Chitauri.

The drive itself has been boring thus far, but he thinks it might be taking a weird turn when he finds a car sitting on the side of the highway, its driver leaning against the hood flailing their unoccupied arm around while the other holds something up to the side of their face.

Steve puts his blinker on, pulling his Stark-issued (as Tony loves to call it) car up to the parked vehicle.

“Everything alright?” he asks, wincing when the person flinches at his voice. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I’m fine, just waiting for a friend,” the person answers automatically. They slide their phone into their pocket with a sigh, finally turning to Steve. “Oh my god, you’re Captain America.”

“Please, Steve is fine,” he answers with a soft laugh, trailing off in a silent question.

“Y/N,” they offer in return, their hands fidgeting.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?” he asks one more time; something tells him their earlier remark was a way to ward off creeps, not an actual response to his question.

Y/N looks at the passing traffic for a moment, their eyes squinting in contemplation. “Yeah, actually,” they say through a sigh. “My car’s out of gas and my phone just died…”

“Ah, I see. Let me call a friend of mine and we’ll have you back on the road in no time,” he offers with a smile, already slipping his phone out of his own pocket.

“Thanks, Captain,” they say with a mischievous smile as Steve laughs again.

“Steve,” he jokingly reprimands as he dials the first name he sees on speed dial. “Hey, Nat, I need a favor…”

•••

Steven Grant Rogers is an idiot. A brilliant soldier, a great man, an amazing friend, a fantastic leader (usually), but he is still an idiot out of work and off the field.

He called Natasha at eleven-forty-three at night to ask her to drive all the way to the outskirts of Cecil County, Maryland from New York City, just so she could sit with a complete stranger while he drives to the nearest gas station (it’s forty minutes away, because of course there’s major traffic tonight). If she’d known he just needed to refill someone’s tank, she would’ve stopped and gotten it on the way over.

Though, the person in not-so-perilous peril is pretty cute.

“I’m so sorry,” you ramble for the millionth time. Natasha just smiles and waves you off.

“It’s fine, I promise.” She means it, just as much as the first time she said it. It’s the thirty-seventh, not that she’s counting.

“Yeah, but, you’re an Avenger and like- you probably need as much sleep as you can get and now you’re wasting your night basically babysitting me and-”

“Hey, hey, breathe. I promise this isn’t a waste of my time. It’s not every day I get to spend time with a beautiful person,” Natasha interrupts. Honestly, how you manage to say so much in so little time is baffling.

You look down, and she can just barely make out the small smile on your face. You don’t say anything after that, and Natasha finds your suddenly-flustered state adorable.

“So,” she says. Why not start a conversation? Best way to figure out if you’re secretly a threat or not, it is her job after all. Not because in the fifteen minutes she’s known you, you’ve given her a sense of peace she’s never experienced before, she tells herself. “What were you doing out so late?”

“Oh, I was visiting a friend for the weekend, I’m on my way back to New York now,” you answer. It’s interesting how easily you’ve let your guard down around her.

Natasha hums, nodding her head as you continue to ramble about your trip. She finds herself smiling the more you talk, and eventually she asks you how you and your friend met.

“We met at NYU, she was my girlfriend’s roommate our first two years. Then we broke up and she became my roommate.”

Natasha’s eyebrow raises at the first ‘girlfriend,’ but she frowns when your smile falters. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. It was what, four years ago?” you answer, your smile already back. “I think she’s on the west coast now, probably living out her dream as some old, rich, white guy’s newest plaything.”

Natasha can’t help but laugh, you sound so optimistic and innocent and yet the insult is anything but.

“And what about you? Living out your dream in the Big Apple?” Natasha asks.

You sigh almost dreamily, “Yeah, I work at a boxing club for kids in Queens. We teach them self-defense and give them a place to stay if they need it. Spider-Man actually stopped by a few weeks ago, said he was ‘in the neighborhood.’”

“That’s amazing,” Natasha says honestly.

“It was, he let some of the older kids try out his web shooters.” The redhead holds back a laugh at your obliviousness.

“I meant your job,” she corrects gently.

“Oh,” you laugh. “Yeah, I’m just trying to do my part to help people,” you reply softly. “I didn’t have a lot growing up, and my parents were never really around. I don’t want what happened to me to happen to them, too.”

“You are… something else, Y/N…” she trails off, hoping you catch on.

“Y/L/N,” you supply.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“You too, Natasha Romanoff.” The two of you laugh as Steve’s car finally approaches.

•••

Three days go by and you can’t get your conversation with the Black Widow out of your head. Looking back, you realize she was definitely flirting with you, and you were just too exhausted and oblivious to notice. It’s embarrassing to say the least, but you doubt she even remembers. It was probably just her way of filling the silence.

You internally sigh, refocusing on your surroundings.

“Jab,” you instruct, holding your target pads-clad hands up. Henry, one of the newer kids at the gym, throws his left arm forward, his feet sliding as his glove makes contact with yours. “Stand your ground, plant both feet down firmly.”

The kid corrects his stance, smiling when you nod your head in approval.

“Jab, again.” He hits the target, and you smile again when he doesn’t slip. “Nice job, buddy. Take five. And get some water!” you yell after him as he runs to the bench.

You take your gloves off as the front door’s bells chime, turning to greet the guest. “Hey, welcome, I’ll be right… with you…” you trail off as you make eye contact with a certain redhead.

“You wouldn’t happen to know a Y/N Y/L/N, would you?” she asks playfully. She leans on the front counter as you jog your way over.

“Maybe, anything they might be able to help you with?”

Natasha watches as a kid walks up to you, asking for help with her boxing wraps. “Well,” she watches the way you simultaneously help the little girl and watch Natasha with ease. “I was told there’s this awesome place that helps kids learn how to fight, and I thought I’d stop by and show ‘em how an Avenger does it. Plus, I heard Spider-Man was here once, and I think having the Black Widow come by would be a much cooler story to tell.”

You laugh, ruffling the kid’s hair before whispering to her that she’s good before turning back to the Avenger. “I- Thank you,” you say softly. “You didn’t have to do tha-”

“No, but I wanted to. Plus, I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee after your shift?” she says as you lead her towards a locker in the back.

“You can put your stuff in here, they’re employee lockers, so no one’ll mess with them,” you tell her when she glances around the room. “And yeah, I’d like that.”

Natasha beams, and it’s immediately ingrained into your mind forever. Maybe getting stuck on a busy highway wasn’t too bad after all.

[shorkbrian]

OOOOO okok.... kirishima with a darling who’s his study partner by chance (college) and he just like,,, falls in love with them! but she have a boyfriend so :(((( but he decides the best idea is the take her by the hair and “lovingly” fuck his new little girlfriend, even though the cries pouring out her mouth are anything but... and he just. forces her to be his girlfriend and you’re just miserable babey

Bro bro bror bror b rorr bor rbro rbo

Prelude - He’s like a stereotypical jock, but is super kind and friendly and just a big HIMBO lololol.

Pairing - Kirishima X Reader

Prompt - At the top

Warnings -  NSFW, full non-con here folks. Kirishima doesn’t let reader tell him no. That is NOT cool y’all. Consent is always required.

Music -  https://youtu.be/2k5w6eTxGXk 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You’re good at most subjects but this one just really flies over your head. When you went to the teacher, she paired you up with the only other person in the class that seemed to be having trouble, Kirishima. The teacher figured that the two of you could work through the material together.

You didn’t mind. Kirishima seemed like a decent guy, even though he was very physically intimidating. He was on the football team, built like a literal brick wall, but his personality was sunshine and rainbows. The man always greeted you with the brightest smile when you showed up to study.

For the most part, the two of you struggled to get work done. Kirishima could do no more than three problems before getting frustrated or bored, and he’d start making funny faces at you, maybe kick your shins underneath the table to get you to pay attention to him. When you finally looked up to see him with his face contorted in the weirdest way possible, you’d burst out laughing. That’s how the two of you got kicked out the library for a month, had to meet at a coffeeshop to study.

Kirishima liked coffee so sweet that it made you sick, almost gagging after taking a sip of his drink when he offered. Likewise, Kirishima couldn’t stand your tea, said it tasted like “old lady water” and needed sugar. You learned a lot about each other, and eventually reached the point were you would consider the two of you to be friends.

You were friends. Until he decided you weren’t`

——

Today you two are in the library, both of you struggling over your worksheets. A tapping on your shoulder alerted you to the presence of your boyfriend, and you were promptly hopping to your feet, smiling and hugging your boyfriend. He wanted to come see you, spend his lunch break together, so you had told him to meet you in the library, where you and Kiri had rented a study room.

“Midoriya! Hi baby.”

With a kiss on the cheek, your boyfriend was b lushing, pulling out a chair at the table so he could sit down. “Hey, who’s this?”

He was gesturing to Kirishima, who was glaring at your boyfriend. That was odd. Usually the redhead had no problem meeting new people, maybe he was just grumpy because he was trying to study?

“Oh, this is my study buddy, Kiri. Kiri, this is my boyfriend, Midoriya!” Midoriya nodded at Kirishima, and Kiri gave a flick of his head in return, before hunching over to scribble furiously at his paper. Yeah, he was definitely irritated at having his studying interrupted. Unusual, but you figured you should be supportive of the redhead taking his studies seriously.

“Hey babe, let’s go eat out in the courtyard - I don’t wanna make Kiri uncomfortable.”

Your boyfriend nodded, getting up from the seat he had just plopped down in, before giving a sheepish wave to the as the two of you exited the room.

“I’ll be back, sorry!”

you whisper-yelled to Kirishima before the door swung shut.

There was small talk as you and your boyfriend made your way to the pretty courtyard of the college, filled with flowering trees and cozy benches for couples (like yourselves) to sit on.

It was peaceful, sitting there, chatting with your boyfriend while he shared his sandwich with you. He was working as an intern for a big engineering company, and you could tell he was happy about his work as he animatedly recounted what he had done so far that day, pausing every now and then to gulp down a bite of sandwich.

But as all good things must end, your boyfriend had to leave after his lunch break was up, checking the time on his watch and gasping as he realized he had spent way too much time talking to you.

He apologized profusely for his abrupt exit, giving you a brief, slightly messy press of his lips against yours before he gathered his bag, shoving the rest of his sandwich into his mouth. Midoriya waved, skipping backwards, making you chuckle when he tripped and almost fell.

You loved your boyfriend, thought of yourself as the luckiest girl for getting together with the kindest, sweetest man you had ever met.

——

Returning to the private study room, You were surprised to see Kirishima still hunched over his paper, still scratching out numbers. His grip was white-knuckled on the pencil.

“Uh, Kiri? You okay dude?”

“Yeah, it’s whatever, I’m fine.” He didn’t sound fine. The man sounded angry.

Figuring he just maybe needed some space, you shrugged “... I need to go get a book real quick. Need anything?”

“No.”  Was his short reply.

Kirishima was normally a bubbly, friendly person. Why was he so irritated all of a sudden? Did this have something to do with your boyfriend interrupting the study session? 

You pondered over this as you walked through the shelves, partly glad that you weren’t having to dodge other students. You and Kiri usually choose times that the library was relatively empty, just in case the redhead made you choke in laughter again. 

Finding the aisle your book should be in, you meandered slowly to the end, scanning the shelves. Ah! There it was, on one of the higher shelves - but luckily you could still reach if you went on your tippy-toes.

A  big hand slipped around your waist, and suddenly you felt cool air on your backside, as if someone had flipped up the edge of your skirt. You tried to whirl around, smack whichever dumb idiot thought it’d be funny to feel you up, but you were pushed up against the bookshelf before you had the chance, shelf almost rattling with the force.

“Hey—!” Another hand clamped over your mouth, smothering your rather loud protest. The giant hand covered more than half of your face, and you couldn’t help but gasp. Was this really happening? Were you really about to get groped by some meathead senior?

“I’m really disappointed (Y/N).”

Wait.

“I thought what we had was special, thought that I was the only one you looked at like that. That hurts.”

Kirishima?

The hand on your waist dipped lower, and yup - he had flipped your skirt up, was running his hand the top of your panties, feeling the fabric between his fingers. You struggled - tried to kick back, headbutt him, twist out of his grip - but the man was too big. He slipped a finger underneath the elastic waistband of your panties, pulled it back, let it go so it could snap against your skin; make you flinch.

“Newsflash (Y/N), your ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t actually love you. You could do so much better than a little Twink like him. You need a real man, someone who can take care of you and give you what you need, give you anything you want.” What was he talking about? The hand at your mouth was clamping your jaw shut, putting so much pressure against the lower half of your face that you couldn’t even open your mouth, just let out angry whines.  When his other hand traveled around to the front of your body, dancing over the flesh of your hip,  you wiggled, trying to put up a fight. It was useless.

Kirishima shoved his hand down your panties, groaning lowly into your ear when his fingers grazed the tuft of curls above your pussy, before dipping further down to stroke gently over your folds. You shivered, angry whines giving way to distressed whimpers, wanting to yell, scream for the librarian that you knew was at their desk. 

You were hanging on his arm, trying to pull his giant hand away from your face, but there was no point. The man spent hours in the gym, building up his muscles to make him better at football, and it coincidentally made him better at holding you against his body while he slipped a finger into your now-wet cunt.

The side of his thumb was flicking at your clit, his middle finger slowly dragging across your walls. You held back a groan when it thrusted in deeper, passing by your g-spot on the way in. Kirishima noticed.

“Did you get tired of waiting for me to make a move? So needy for a cock to fill you up that you ran and got a boyfriend?” What? You shook your head no, but his fingers clenched down tighter over your face, and you froze in pain.  “I was gonna be so romantic for you, get a bunch of flowers and one of those big stuffed bears. Ask you to be my girlfriend.  But you just couldn’t wait, could you? Had to go and ruin everything.”

His voice was low, his breath tickling your ear and making you shiver as he whispered, practically growling. You had never seem him irritated, let alone angry. You were scared. Another finger slipped into your pussy, and you keened, scrabbling at his arm at the sudden stretch. Kiri snickered.

“Gonna have to take a few more to get you ready for me babe, I’m not a little stick like your stupid excuse for a ’boyfriend’.”

Tears sprang to your eyes. You loved Midoriya, had ever since you met him. He was shy and nervous, but he was also sweet. Midoriya would never treat you like this, would always ask if you wanted to make each other feel good, ask before he so much as looked at you. Kirishima was a brute.

Another finger entered you, and while the stretch stung, you also felt pleasantly full. His thumb was still moving over your clit, and with a muffled wail your hips twitched in the air, grinding down on his thumb as you suddenly came.

Kirishima didn’t stop. He huffed out a quiet laugh, gave your a wet kiss against your neck. “See? Knew you were meant for me. I love you baby, gonna make you feel so good.”

Blinking, you were trying to come down from the height of your pleasure, flinching away from Kiri as his fingers slipped out of you. Oh god, you didn’t want him to keep going. Muffled cries left your lips, desperately trying to get Kirishima to stop, slow down, please wait, but the man was determined. Your panties were pulled to the side, and something big nudged against your entrance. 

“Sorry baby-“ Kiri grunted, beginning to inch his way inside your tight pussy. “You’re just so sexy ’n pretty, can’t hold myself back.”

The mushroom head of his cock popped past your opening, and you squealed in pain. You were wailing behind his hand, and the man could feel the tears dripping onto his fingers as he held your mouth shut, could feel your lips moving as you cried “Stop, stop! Hurts, oh god Kiri it hurts.“

“Shit, baby I’m sorry, ‘m sorry.”  Without moving, you heard the sound of him spitting, and then felt his hand bump against where he was connected to you. He had spit in his palm, and was the rest of his girthy cock with the slickness, practically jerking himself off into your cunt. You cried harder.

“Shh, shhh it’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you. You’ll get to cum again, don’t worry. Bet your shrimpy little bitchboy never had you cumming twice, did he?” His voice turned sour at the end of his sentence, filled with venom at the mere mention of your boyfriend. 

Kirishima moaned, wet hand coming to rest on your hip as he slowly, slowly began inching forward, forcing his cock into your body. It still hurt, but not as much as it had at first - the slide easier with the addition of the man’s spit. It felt like he was pushing himself in forever, his cock could’ve been in your throat by the time his balls pressed flush against you

. He was bottomed out, and you were gasping, struggling to suck in air around your sobs and his giant hand. The redhead stilled, allowing the two of you to adjust to the sensation. While he waited, Kiri brought his hand up to your hair, sweeping it away from your neck so he could kiss the tender flesh their, hair still in his fist.

“You’re so good for me, look at you takin’ all of my cock. Fuck, fuck - you feel so warm.” He whined between kisses, pulling your hair to tilt your head back as he kissed towards the front of your neck. You shivered as the pain zinged through your scalp, sharp and prickly.

The man pressed up behind you had waited long enough. With no warning, he drew back his hips - cock sliding out of you. He was so /big/.  You wished he had prepared you more, at least then you wouldn’t be sore as he pressed back into you, setting up a rhythm of slow, long thrusts.

He was pulling your head back by your hair, making your head rest against his shoulder against your will, your hands still clutching desperately at his arm. Shoved against the bookshelf like this wasn’t very comfortable, but neither was getting your pussy wrecked by a man twice your size. 

Gradually, Kiri’s pace increased, your pussy working to lubricate itself and making each rapid thrust end with a squelching sound and the slap of his plump balls against the top of your clit.  Truthfully, Midoriya had never fucked you this good, but you were fine with the young man’s sexual ability. He would finish inside you, then lick out his cum until you were squirming and writhing on his tongue, and then Midoriya suck at your clit, shove his fingers into you and fuck you fast until you squirted, leaving the both of you in bliss.

Kirishima had carnal desire, sucking dark marks into the column of your throat, accidentally tugging your hair on each thrust, making you climb further onto your tiptoes to try and alleviate the pressure. He was getting rougher, throaty moans being punched out of him on each thrust - the man tried to quiet himself down by burying his face into the crook of your neck, biting down onto your skin. It just made you sob harder, the pain and pleasure mixing and sending you hurtling towards another orgasm.

And then he slammed into you so hard that your feet lifted off the ground, your body held up by his hand in your hair and the cock filling your pussy. A wail escaped you, his hand silencing it, and you came, twitching in the big man’s hold. 

“Oh, fuck, oh my god baby you’re so amazing oh my god, oh my god-“ Your toes brushed against the ground again. Kirishima was slouching his back so he could pummel into your smaller form even harder, babbling into your shoulder as his hips stuttered when he reached his own orgasm.

You sobbed as you felt his warmth filling your insides. 

Kirishima stayed there, leaning his head against your shoulder while he sucked in air, breathing raggedly. On every sob, you could feel his length inside you, and you were so disgusted.

His breathing evened out. Your sobbing quieted down into measly sniffles. Kiri let go of your hair, scratching at your scalp to alleviate the stinging sensation that he knew he must’ve caused by pulling on the strands.

“I’m gonna take my hand off your mouth now, can you be quiet for me?” You nodded, and the brushing grip was released from your face. 

You stayed silent, hand coming up to massage at your jaw where his big fingers had dug into the tender flesh.

“Good. Wanna go back to my dorm to clean up?”

Shaking your head, you barely choking out a panicked “N-no!”, almost forgetting to be quiet in your haste to respond.  Kirishima sighed behind you, pressing his chest against your back as he did so.

“Baby, I said I was gonna take care of you. I wanna take care of you. We’re going back to my dorm.”

He slowly slipped out of you, wincing as the air hit his dick.  With his length leaving you empty, Kiri smoothed your panties back into pale, then wiped his cock on the underside of your skirt before tucking it back into his pants. You wished you hadn’t chosen a skirt that morning when you were getting dressed.

Without another word, Kiri gently turned you around to face him, his eyes filled with a warmth that they always seemed to hold whenever the two of you locked eyes during a study session. His big arms encircled you, pulling you into his broad chest as he squeezed, the hug surprisingly gentle, almost calming. It would have been an amazing hug, if only the man hadn’t raped you beforehand.

  A jacket was being wrapped around  the bottom half of your legs, Kiri securing it so that you wouldn’t flash anyone when he picked you up in his arms, carrying you bridal-style. You rubbed at your eyes, trying to scrub away the tears as your ex-friend carried you towards the library exit, smiling down at you fondly.

“I love you, you know that? I’m gonna take such good care of you baby.” You ignored him.

“And don’t worry about your old boyfriend, I’m going to talk to him and break the news that you aren’t interested in him anymore. You’ve got something much better now.”

[flamehairedwritings]

Happiest Season Of All

Characters: Chief Jim Hopper x Female Reader

Rating: M, 18+ ONLY

A/N: Happy Holidays! Phew, it’s been a while. Here is a kind of drabble, and also kind of a sequel to Pain In My Heart? Set the year before S1, there’s no mentions of family, no use of Y/N, and it’s just a gentle, kind of angsty little story.

This story contains broken hearts, swearing, alcohol and embarrassment.

I hope you enjoy and have a lovely week!

Summary: Broken up with just before Christmas? Fantastic. The only thing that can help is returning to your home town, old friends... and an old love.

Masterlist

Please don’t copy, steal or repost my work; credit does not count.

—

23rd December 1982

‘... There'll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and carolling out in the snow...’

You quietly hum along absent-mindedly to the cassette someone’s playing from a boombox, gazing out of the window. Usually, you’d have been annoyed but, hey, it’s the holidays.

Besides, you haven’t had much of a chance to get into the festive spirit or mood recently. With the classic Christmas song playing, the train rumbling gently and the twinkling lights in the darkness slowly growing brighter, you’re finally starting to feel it. Inhaling a breath, you lean your temple against the cold glass, your fingers lacing together in your lap as you gaze at the lights.

Hawkins, Indiana. Your hometown.

It’s been a few years since you were here for longer than a weekend but, oh, boy, this year you just need to be here. You’re retreating, you’re not too proud to admit, coming home to lick your wounds and be surrounded by all things familiar, cosy and boring.

You almost laugh. You’d left this place because it was so damn boring and now here you are, craving it. If teenage you could see you now. She’d be giving ‘that’ look which you’re told you still give to this day. 

Ah, well. Time’s a bitch, baby.

The train slows as it pulls into the station and you start to gather your things while a few others around you stand and pull their bags down from the overhead racks. You pull your suitcases down as the train comes to a stop, all three of them, with their different colours and patterns. Pulling on your scarf, coat and rucksack, you haul the suitcases down the aisle as best as you can single-file, muttering under your breath as they catch every few steps against chairs.

The wheels clatter onto the concrete of the cold platform when you step down, one suitcase twisting onto its front and tangling with the others as it nearly falls from your hand. Muttering under your breath again, you right it and continue walking down the platform, two small groups of people reuniting having to part for you. Making eye contact with a grateful smile, you’re relieved you don’t recognise any of them; you’re really not in the mood for your own reunion right now.

“There she is!”

Well, just the one.

A smile spreads across your face as Karen Wheeler trots down the platform in her heeled boots, grinning and her arms open wide. The suitcases drop from your hands as you throw your arms around one another, rocking from side to side slightly.

“Oooh, hello, sweetheart,” Karen murmurs, pressing a big, wet kiss to your cheek.

“Hey, Karrie.”

Your smile lingers, and it’s the first genuine one you’ve had in a while. Karen has worn the same perfume since high school and it puts you at ease instantly. God, you just love her. You talk on the phone every other week and have done since you moved out of Hawkins; she’s been the most consistent friend in your life and you love her with all your damn heart.

“C’mon, give me those, let’s get out of here, it’s freezing...” Pulling back, she takes two of the suitcases from you before you can protest and starts striding down the platform.

You have to do a quick little jog to catch up with her, marvelling, not for the first or even fortieth time, how she can go so quickly in those heels. It’s a short walk to the exit, made shorter by Karen’s pace, and she’s parked right outside. Wonderful. Opening the trunk, you both bundle your suitcases in, tossing your rucksack on top of it, and then do a speedy little walk to the doors, yanking them open.

“Oof, coldest winter we’ve had in years,” Karen shivers dramatically in her seat as she rubs her gloved hands together before buckling her seatbelt.

Buckling your own as she eases out onto the road, you blow out a breath. “Yeah, definitely feels that way.”

“So, how was the journey?”

“Oh, the usual, long but fine. It was a lot emptier than I expected.”

“Well, we keep hearing there’s gonna be a blizzard, so some folks have come home a little earlier.”

“Well, that’s smart.”

“Yeah. Means I keep bumping into people at the store that I wish I could avoid, though, and on the street.” She snorts as she glances at you. “Ugh, I bumped into Peggy Dawnes the other day, remember her? She would not stop talking about her perfect life on her perfect farm with her perfect husband and her perfect kids and her perfect lawn. Well, there were ten bottles of wine in her cart and I know for a fact her mother doesn’t drink and her perfect husband only likes neat whisky, so, there.”

“Oh.”

You cringe internally at your short reply, but you really can’t think of what else to say. Karen glances at you again, pausing. You look over at her and find the sympathy you’ve only been able to hear during the last few weeks. She reaches over and pats your knee gently before returning her hand to the wheel.

“Oh, sweetheart... How are you doing?”

You release a breath, raising your eyebrows slightly. “Better for being here, already. But, y’know...”

She gives you a sympathetic smile as she pats your knee again. “Don’t worry, toots, like I said you can stay as long as you want, it’s no trouble at all.”

You return her smile, relieved that you find you don’t have to force it. “Thank you.”

“No worries.” Her smile widens as she tilts her head. "The kids are looking forward to having you with us, you know how much they love you. It’ll do us all some good.”

You don’t ask about Ted because you know not to.

“I can’t wait to see them, too. How have they been?”

You gaze out of the windshield as she tells you how Nancy and Mike are doing at school and how many words Holly can say now, your eyes flitting from house to house. Decorations are out in full force, as they should be, they’ve probably been up since the 1st of the month, and it makes you smile to see them, remembering how you and Karen would go from house to house when you were younger and rate them out of 10 candy canes.

Ah, the simple life.

She’s still chatting about Mike and his friends when she turns down onto their long drive. It’s lined with various Christmas lawn ornaments, most lit up. Lights line the inside of some of the many windows of the house, too, making it look gorgeous and cosy and warm. A curtain is yanked back suddenly and Mike’s face appears, grinning. He waves frantically and you smile instantly, waving back with your eyebrows raised.

My favourite, funny little kid.

He’s already at the wide open door when Karen parks, still grinning. Unbuckling your seatbelt, you open the door and step out only to have him nearly slam into you before you can straighten, hugging you tightly.

“You’re here!”

You laugh, wrapping your arms around him just as fiercely. “Hey, buddy. You okay?”

“Yeah. C’mon, I wanna show you this book I got...” He’s already out of your arms and waving you towards the door, which Karen is muttering about the heat being let out of.

Chuckling to yourself, you help her with your suitcases and rucksack, feeling vastly different to how you did ten minutes ago; they never fail to raise your spirits. Nancy greets you as you enter, smiling widely and also ready for a hug. You give it gladly and just as fiercely as you had with Mike, asking her how she is. She shrugs and just says “Fine,” with a smile as you remove your shoes and coat, and you marvel at how she’d once been as talkative as Mike when she was younger. You hear the boy himself calling from the basement, telling you he can’t currently find the book but it’s around here someone and you’re gonna love it! You follow Karen up the stairs to the guest room with a wide smile, calling back your thanks to him.

Passing walls lined with family photographs, it’s a short walk down the hall to the room you’ll be staying in for... well, who knows. Karen opens the door with a trilled, “Ta-da!” and you laugh as you take in the sight before you. It’s completely decked out in Christmas decorations; tinsel on every bit of furniture, snow-globes on the window sill, a polar bear stuffed toy on the bed, fairy-lights around the headboard. You’d roll your eyes at the excessiveness of it if it wasn’t so damn sweet.

“Wow, it’s like Santa’s Grotto in here...”

“Eh, close enough, I wanted fake snow on the ground but Ted vetoed that idea pretty quick.”

You snort, hauling the suitcase you’re carrying onto the bench at the end of the bed and dropping your rucksack onto it before sitting on the bed, your fingers running over the blanket Karen’s mother had crocheted. Nancy lingers in the doorway, and after leaning your other suitcases against a chest of drawers, Karen turns to her, making a shooing gesture.

“All right, go on, Nance, us hot young things need to get ready.”

“Ugh, Mom...” Nancy just about manages to stop herself from rolling her eyes as she turns away and heads back down the hall while you stare at Karen.

“Uh... Ready for what? Bed?”

“No,” Karen laughs, and you suddenly notice she’s going through your suitcase on the bench, rifling through and pulling various items out. “We’re going out, to the bar.”

“The bar?”

“Yes, the bar.”

You’re still staring at her. “Where everyone we know goes?”

Karen shrugs, looking at you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah, ‘cause it’s still the only good bar in Hawkins.”

“I thought you wanted to avoid everyone.”

“Eh, yeah, but... y’know, only good bar in Hawkins. And...” Oh, no, she’s looking sheepish, her head bowing slightly as she glances from you to some of your clothes she’s pulled out. “... Uh, we’re kinda having a party here tomorrow, anyway, so...”

“What?”

Her eyebrows shoot up, her hands raising. “It just kinda happened. It’s been years since we’ve had one and Ted and I were talking about it and then I saw Mary-Lou at Mike’s school and I just happened to mention it and she got so excited and then I got excited and it just, it suddenly happened.”

Your lips press together as you exhale a short breath. “Well, they were fun...”

“Yeah, they were, weren’t they?” Karen sits beside you with a nostalgic sigh, shaking her head. “We had some of the best times of our lives at ‘em.”

“Yeah... I remember the one after you gave birth to Nancy, I thought I was gonna have to take you to the hospital.”

“Ha! Thank God my Mom came over to look after her. What about the one where you set fire to the tree?”

“Oh, please don’t remind me, and that wasn’t actually my fault, you know,”

“Ha, yeah, sure, that was great...”

You both sigh together, a smile finding its way onto your lips at all the memories that come flooding back. They had been fun. You hadn’t been able to attend every one over the years but the ones you had had been so great they’d almost made you want to stay in Hawkins. Maybe... Maybe a return to a beloved tradition is exactly what you need.

Turning your head to her, you arch an eyebrow. “You didn’t think to tell me it was happening, though?”

Karen shrugs as she smiles. “I didn’t want you to talk yourself out of enjoying it before it had even happened. Same as tonight.”

“Oh, Karrie...” You huff out a breath. “... You know me too well, it’s so annoying. Ugh, I was so looking forward to just curling up on the couch, drinking and watching some of the classics.”

“I know.” She pats your knee, nudging her shoulder against yours. “And we’re gonna do that the day after Christmas, and every day that you want to while you’re here. But tonight, we’re gonna get fancy and go out and get a little bit drunk. It’s Christmas, c’moooon.”

You just can’t help but smile. “All right. All right! Fine. How long have I got?”

“An hour.”

 “What—”

She’s already on her feet, pointing at you as she heads to the door. “Take a shower while I cook us and the kids something up, and then we’ll get ready. okay?”

You know you have absolutely no choice in the matter. “Okay, fine.”

 “Great!” she beams, reaching for the door handle to close it behind herself. She pauses, though, resting her weight on one foot as she clears her throat. “Oh, and uh... he’s probably gonna be there.”

You don’t have to ask who she’s referring to.

Staring at her, you manage to keep your features expressionless. “Oh. Really?”

“Yeah.” She’s watching you carefully, teeth grazing over her lower lip. “He is nearly every night, apparently, according to Marian.”

Raising your eyebrows slightly, you smile. “Well... maybe he won’t be.”

“Yeah, maybe he won’t be...” She’s still watching you, a gentle smile pulling at her lips. “Shower, toots.”

“Okay, okay...” You wave your hand as she pulls the door closed, hearing her move down the hallway.

The moment you hear her heading down the stairs, you release a long breath, lying back on the bed.

Oh, shit... 

Well.

You stare at the ceiling as the realisation suddenly dawns on you.

I might see Jim Hopper tonight.

James Hopper. Jim. Hopper. Hop. Chief, also now, not that you’ve ever been around to call him that.

You’d been friends since you were kids, best friends actually, at one point closer than you and Karen had been, and then feelings had developed when you'd become teenagers and then you’d taken the leap and had started dating and then...

You’d broken up.

And you’d been the one to initiate it.

And you’d done that because, well... It was because of a lot of little things. Mainly, though, you hadn’t known what route you wanted to take, college or work, you hadn’t even known what you wanted to do, but you knew you wanted to get out of Hawkins. And Hop... hadn’t known what the hell he wanted to do either, but he hadn’t even thought about it. He’d spoken once or twice about joining the military, or just starting a job, too. College hadn’t even crossed his mind. The conversation had come up and, well, it hadn’t ended well. 

In fact, when it ended, that has been the last time you’ve spoken to him. As you’ve returned home over the years you’ve heard he did join the military, fought in Vietnam, came home, married, and lived in New York the same time you had. You’d been heartbroken to hear from Karen that his daughter had died, and he’d divorced and moved back home.

Now, he’s Chief of Hawkins Police and, well, you’d love to avoid seeing him at all costs. There can come a time when, having not seen someone in decades, you can’t even have a casual conversation because all both parties are doing is screaming in their heads.

Well. Like you’d said yourself. He might not be there.

Hey, as Chief of Police this is probably a very busy time of year and he’ll be off doing something.

It’s gonna be fine.

Absolutely fine.

After showering, you throw on some clean, comfy clothes and head downstairs to eat with Karen and the kids.

Holly sits at the table in her highchair, silent as ever, well, being two years old she only knows a handful of words, but she just stares at you as she has done since she was a baby. Mike talks non-stop about school and his friends while Nancy chimes in every now and then to talk about her own friends, saying names of people in her class that you take a moment or two to remember, and to mutter insults at him while he mutters them back.

Karen half-heartedly tells them to stop in between telling you what she might wear, and you somehow manage to keep up with all conversations. Frankly, it’s also quite nice after being surrounded by mostly silence for the last few weeks.

Whipping your plate away from you seconds after you finish, Karen is up and striding to the kitchen, calling over her shoulder.

“C’mon! Let’s get sexy!”

Your lips twitch as Mike and Nancy groan, the only thing they can agree on right now being that their Mom is a complete and utter embarrassment.

She practically shoves you up the stairs, trying to get you to move faster, and from then on the next 30 minutes feels like a whirlwind. She tries on six outfits before settling on her usual favourite, and changes in your room while you rifle through what you’ve brought. Luckily, even though you can’t really remember packing, you’ve brought some of your own favourites, and, after scrambling to find some shoes to go with them, she helps you decide on an old classic.

Gazing at you, her hands on her hips, she beams with delight.

“Well, look at you, huh! Fancy lady!”

You give a twirl as she whoops, and then her arm is looping through yours and she’s practically dragging you towards the door.

“Bye, guys, we’ll be back late!” she calls out, though no one answers, too busy doing their own thing. 

You haven’t seen any sign of Ted and, once again, you know not to ask.

“Late? How late is late?” you ask with an arched eyebrow as she hurries you down the stairs.

“Oh, come on, not that late, we’re not gonna get wasted, we’re not teenagers anymore.”

—

“... God, I hate it...”

The stall door slams against the cubicle wall as you pull it open a little more forcefully than you had intended. Holding it for a moment, you exhale a short breath before moving towards the sinks, only swaying a little. Washing your hands, you glance up at Karen, watching her try to reapply her lipstick as neatly as possible.

“And did you hear Julian is engaged? And Andrea has a new boyfriend? Is it me or is everybody getting into a relationship?”

She snorts, rubbing her lips together. “It’s that time of year, folks hate being lonely at Christmas.”

You scoff, turning the tap off and drying your hands. “Just sleep with people, then, doesn’t mean you have to get into a relationship and hog someone all to yourself.”

She laughs, slipping her lipstick back into her bag before turning to you, a hand on her hip. “Oh, babe... C’mon, let’s find you someone to have meaningless sex with it.”

“Okay.”

The bar has been heaving from the moment you’d arrived. It usually is, but tonight the place is rammed, perhaps because of the time of year, but maybe more because, it turns out, there’s an offer on drinks, it being the holiday season and all, and happy hour has lasted more than one hour. More than two. It’s nearing three now.

Each sip has helped you relax, even as Karen gasps and points out old high school classmates, filling you in on every detail of their lives she’s learned. So far, incredibly gladly, she’s not pointed out a certain Chief.

Returning to your table, which a guy you don’t recognise has been guarding for you, as in literally guarding, he has his hands behind his back and is saying, “Nah, move along, this ain’t free...” to anyone who looks like they’re going to swoop in. At spotting you both, he grins and holds his arms out wide, gesturing at the table.

“All free for you, m’ladies.”

You’re unable to stop a smile because there’s something so weirdly charming about this absolute goofball of a man. He takes a seat beside Karen as you sit, the two of them having been exchanging small talk that verged on flirting. Heck, it was flirting. Sipping from your drink as you watch them, you feel a small, familiar twist in your stomach.

Karen is more like her teenage self when she’s with you, but when you see her with Ted, no longer Teddy as he had been in high school, and the kids, she’s Karen the mom, like she’s caged her personality in and doesn’t quite know how to bring the two parts of herself together. When she’d come to visit you once last year, you’d gone out to a bar and you’d watched her flirt with a couple of the men there. You’d thought it was harmless at first, just a bit of fun for her, she’s a charismatic lady, but then something had changed and, as a guy had held her hand, stroking it, and she hadn’t pulled away, you’d felt a twist in your stomach.

She’s gonna have an affair one day.

The thought had come to you so suddenly and so sharply that you’d shoved it away with all your might, horrified with yourself. No, Karen wouldn’t do that... Would she? Since then, you’d become more and more unsure. You’ve stopped asking about Ted when you talk because she’d just sigh heavily and spend the next ten minutes pointing out every flaw he has, how the romance has gone, how she’s tried and nothing happens. You know she’s unhappy, but you just can’t see her doing it. You hope not, anyway.

Looking away from them, you watch a few people dancing, Christmas music flowing out of the speakers above.

Karen laughs at something the guy says, and in the corner of your eye you see her place a hand on his arm.

“Oh, that’s too funny! You’re really funny... Sorry, what’s your name again?”

The man is unfazed, still grinning. “Callahan. Phil Callahan.”

He says it with such an atrocious Sean Connery accent, making Karen burst out laughing again, and it makes you smile, too.

“Oh, big James Bond fan, huh?” she says, her elbow on the table, chin in her hand.

“Oh, yeah, it’s why I became a cop.”

Your gaze darts to him. “You’re a cop?”

He raises his hands as he laughs. “Yeah, but, hey, you go on and drink as much as you want, I’m off duty now.”

Karen laughs and you make yourself join in, but your heart has started to beat a little faster.

Oh, stop it, he’s not here.

You take a quick sip of your drink again to cover the fact you aren’t laughing anymore, and then Callahan looks up, his grin widening somehow as he waves his hand frantically.

“Hey, boss, over here!”

Boss?

Boss.

The entire room seems to slow down as you turn your head and see a man, who’s stopped for a moment to shake hands with someone, with brown hair and a neatly clipped beard, wearing a brown leather jacket, plaid shirt and jeans, his eyebrows raised—

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

Oh fucking Lord in the manger.

Callahan is slapping his hand against the vacant seat at the table, that happens to be close to you, practically shouting, “Hop’, here, saved ya a seat!”

You swiftly turn back around, staring at Karen. She’s frozen, staring at you, and for the next three seconds you somehow communicate an entire conversation with just your eyebrows and eyes.

Both of you seem to agree on fuuuuuuck.

You can’t just get up and leave, that would be the most obvious thing in the entire world. What if he doesn’t recognise you? Yeah, maybe you’ll be so incredibly fucking lucky and it’ll be a Christmas miracle and you’ll somehow have just disappeared from his memory.

Swallowing hard as you hear him move past a group behind you with an “Excuse me,” you rest your hands on the table, gripping them together.

“Hey, Callahan, where’s everybody else?”

Oh, his voice has changed. It’s deeper, rougher.

“Oh, well, Powell said he and his wife are gonna come later when he finishes his shift, and Jones, Davids and Williamson are over there, they’ve been waitin’ to get a drink for ages.” Callahan laughs delightedly, and Karen joins in, giving a slightly nervous one.

It draws Hopper’s attention and you don’t dare look up to see his expression but there’s a note of surprise in his tone.

“Karen, hey, you doin’ okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” And then she panics. “We’re just having a night out.” And then she panics more when she realises what she’s said, and that she’s gestured at you, her eyes as wide as her now somewhat manic smile.

Oh. God.

Lifting your head, you automatically smile, your features frozen.

“Hi.”

Hi.

He looks from Karen to you, and you’re suddenly subject to the full force of Jim Hopper’s gaze for the first time in decades.

Oh. God.

You can’t help it; the memories of the last time you saw him flood your mind.

“Hop’, are you even listening to me?”

He swiftly puts down the ball of rubberbands he’d been picking at on your desk, his eyebrows raised as he looks to you.

“Yeah, yeah, course I am.”

Your own eyebrows rise even higher, your hands lifted. “What, then?”

He tilts his head slightly, grazing his teeth over his lower lip. “’What’, what?”

“You weren’t fucking listening—”

“No, I was,” he quickly says at your weary sigh, leaning forward in the chair and resting his elbows on his knees, an easy smile pulling at his lips. “C’mon, just repeat the last part.”

You’d once found this all charming and endearing.

Your hands going to your waist, you exhale another breath before folding your arms, managing to calm yourself.

“What are you gonna do after school?”

Hop’ shrugs, leaning back again. “I don’t know. What are you gonna do?”

It was just the answer you’d feared, and expected. Licking your lips, you glance down at the carpet before steeling yourself and meeting his gaze again.

You can do this.

“I’m thinking of moving.”

He nods, his smile returning. “Okay, where?”

“I don’t know. New York, maybe. There’s jobs there and I have a friend there, I could stay with her for a bit.”

“Or we could get a place together.”

You stare at him, feeling your stomach twist.

“So... you’re, you’re just gonna follow me where I go.”

“Yeah.” His brow dips slightly, the smile still there, though it’s hesitant. “Aren’t girlfriends supposed to be happy when their boyfriends say that?”

“Yeah, but... What do you want to do?”

Hop’ shrugs again. “I don’t know. I know I wanna be with you, though.”

You’d once have quietly swooned at that and given him a fond smile. Now, though... You want more.

“Hop’, I don’t... I don’t wanna be one of those high school couples that just sticks together because they’re together. I want you to actually want this.”

He’s frowning again, confusion starting to set in. “I do.”

You say it quietly. “I don’t think you do.”

He stares at you, all traces of his smile gone. Then, he scoffs, leaning back in his chair a little more as he folds his arms.

“So now you’re tellin’ me what I do and don’t feel?”

“No, I just, I want you to have some drive, some ambition, not just go along with what I say and do.”

“I go along with it because it’s what I want.”

You can feel tears stinging at your eyes but your mind has also been made up.

“I don’t think it is, I just think it’s easy and safe for you.”

“Stop tellin’ me what I’m feelin’!”

His voice raising makes yours, too.

“Am I wrong?”

He looks at you like he has no idea who you are, and for some reason that really pisses you off because you don’t really recognise him anymore, either.

“Why are you pushing me away?!”

“I’m not, I—”

“Where has all this come from, then?!”

“I don’t know if I want this!”

Silence falls.

You swallow thickly as he stares at you, your voice cracking slightly.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but... y’know, Karrie and Teddy, they... I look at them and at Joyce and Lonnie and they’re so happy, they know what they want, and they can’t wait to get married and settled down, here, but...”

“You don’t want that,” he finishes for you, quietly.

You speak after a moment, your tone matching his. “I don’t.”

“You don’t want me.”

That sends a knife through your heart because honestly? You have no idea. 

Shaking your head, you close your eyes for a moment. “No, yes, I... I don’t know. I care so much about you, but... I just think we’re on different paths.”

His gaze drops as your words linger in the air. Clearing his throat, he glances up at you again.

“What if we just take a break, for a bit. Or I can come up and visit you, in New York.”

He’s just a boy, you suddenly think, your heart breaking.

Biting at your lower lip to stop it from trembling, you give a small shrug. “I think that wouldn’t be fair on us both.”

He nods slowly, his jaw moving, and you’ve never seen him this distant. Raising his eyebrows slightly, he stands.

“Seems you already had this all figured out.”

“No, no, I didn’t, I just don’t want to be unfair to you—”

“Could I have said anything that would have changed your mind?” His quiet words silence you, and you have to stifle a sob.

“... No.”

Hop gazes at you, and after several moments he nods. “Good luck with everything.”

You’d burst into tears the moment he’d left your room. The front door had slammed shut and as you’d sat on your bed and cried and cried you’d heard his car door slam, too. You’d cried for days, going between telling yourself you’d made a huge mistake, and then that you’d done what was best, that he didn’t appreciate you like he used to and it wasn’t your job to fix him and coach him through life and that... yeah, you’d fallen out of love with him.

You hadn’t just lost a boyfriend that day, though, you’d also lost your best friend.

You loved Karen but there was just something different about Hop’, something that made you feel safe and like you could tell him anything and he wouldn’t judge. As you’d moved away and the months had gone on, several triumphs and bad days had happened, and all you’d wanted to do was just pick up the phone to call him and tell him. You’d stopped yourself every time.

Then, at some unremarkable point, you’d just stopped getting that urge, and life had moved on.

Oh, it certainly had moved on.

You stare at him, trying to look without looking. You can still see the face of the teenager you once knew, though with the beard and the lines at the corners of his eyes he’s very much a man now.

God, is he a man.

He was tall when you’d known him, but is he taller now, somehow? Had he had another growth spurt in his twenties? His hands are huge, too, and he’d been confident back then but it had come from cockiness whereas now he just seems quietly so, more sure of himself.

And you have absolutely no idea what he’s thinking. He’s staring at you so expressionlessly that you believe for a moment or two he actually has forgotten you.

Then, he speaks

“Hey. Been a long time.”

Hey. Been. A. Long. Time.

Said like you didn’t once whisper “I love you” to each other and share every single secret you’d ever had.

Then again, all you’d been able to muster up was a ‘Hi’.

You’re still smiling and you don’t know how to stop.

“Yeah, it has.”

“How are you?”

“Fine, thank you, you?”

“Yeah, good. You home for the holidays?”

“Yep.”

He runs his fingers over his mouth as he nods, and oh my God, he’s attractive. Is he, or is it the alcohol?

Wanting to banish the thoughts from your mind and distract yourself, you quickly continue.

“I’m staying with Karen.”

“That’s nice.” It’s said absolutely expressionlessly. “Just ‘till the new year?”

“Uhm, indefinitely. I’m, I’m working, uh, going through, uh, I’m moving, at the moment.”

“Okay. Well, I hope it goes okay.”

Oh my God, he’s winding down the conversation. He’s gonna go.

And you’re still smiling.

“Thank you.”

Nodding, he glances at Callahan. “I’m gonna go and check in with the others, see how they are.”

Callahan just nods once, his gaze flicking from you to Hopper and back again with utter confusion.

Rising, Hopper glances from Karen to you.

“See you around.”

“Yeah, bye, happy holidays,” you answer, Karen possibly unable to speak.

His lips move slightly, possibly into a faint smile. “Yeah, to you, too.”

And then he walks away, heading for the bar. Staring at where he’d just been sat, a slightly strangled sound releases from the back of your throat.

“Oh my God, oh my God...”

Looking to Karen, a whole range of emotions are flashing across her face as she tries to find the most comforting one. She fails.

“Oh, babe, oh God, that was horrible.”

“I know, I just, I forgot how to have a conversation, my voice got so high.”

“It did, I don’t know why you did that.”

“Neither do I, oh my God...” Putting your head in your hands, you then quickly lift it after a moment, pressing your lips together as you raise your hands. “Whatever. It’s fine. Let’s just, please, move past it. It’s over, I got it out the way, it was civilised, it’s done.”

“You’re right, you’re so right, please let’s forget it. Let’s drink.”

“Yes, please.”

You tap your glass against Karen’s as she raises it, and both take a long drink.

Oh, God.

That had been... so uneventful you don’t quite know what to do with yourself. In all the times you’d thought about how this exact moment might go, you’d never thought it would be uneventful. You’d imagined yelling, or crying, sometimes even laughing, but this...

Well. It was really like it had meant nothing at all.

You don’t know why it’s getting to you so much. You broke up with him. Of course he’d have moved on and left it all behind, God, you have as well. You’ve both lived your lives, gone through so many things and come out the other side and... A break up when you were teenagers kind of pales in comparison.

Yeah. It’s all fine. In fact, you know what, you’re relieved. It’s mature. It’s done. That’s it. You don’t have to be best friends with him again, for fuck’s sake.

Lowering your drink, you don’t realise your internal monologue has played out on your face, eyes widening and narrowing. Looking up, you find Karen and Callahan staring at you.

Licking your lips, you shrug. “It’s fine. It’s fine. Who wants another drink?”

You’re out of your seat and heading to the bar before they can respond. Karen sits back in her chair as she blinks, watching you stride away.

“Can someone just please tell me what’s going on?” Callahan bursts out, his hands raised.

“Oh, God, sweetie...” Karen sighs, reaching for her drink again. “... I have no fucking clue.”

—————————————————————————————————

24th December 1982

“Ughhh... Oh, God...”

It’s not your own groaning that wakes you, but that of someone else.

Cracking open an eye, you stare up at the ceiling as the groaning continues.

Uh, my mouth is so dry...

Licking your lips, you turn your head and find Karen on the other side of the bed, her hair bedraggled and spilling across the pillow, mascara halfway down her face, lipstick smeared. Turning her own head, she looks at you and groans again.

“Am I alive?”

“I think so,” you rasp, and she groans mournfully.

“Ughhhh... I don’t even remember how we got home...”

Closing your eyes, you scratch at your forehead, trying to remember yourself.

You’d gone to the bar, drank, drank a lot, maybe danced a little, spoken with your old classmate, Jessica? Justine? and then... Oh, what was his name again...

“Callahan,” you murmur, your throat aching. “Callahan brought us home.”

“Oh, yeah... Didn’t we ask him to turn on his lights?”

Your lips twitch as you recall how you’d both screamed with joy and whooped and cheered as he’d turned on the lights, waving your arms from side to side.

You snort and she glances at you. A laugh escapes you as you think about the absurdity of it all, and then she’s laughing, too, her cackle loud and delighted.

“Oh my God... Ugh, that was fun...” she sighs, her smile lingering.

“Yeah...” you murmur, stretching your legs out.

“We’ll have fun tonight, too.” She pats your hand, exhaling a breath. “If we just... If we just sleep ‘till noon, and then we can start preparing the house... Maybe even two, it won’t take long...”

You hum, closing your eyes, and, yeah, sleeping a little longer does sound like a good idea... Besides, when you’re unconscious, you don’t have to think about a certain embarrassing event that happened... 

Perfect.

You focus on the softness of the bed as Karen snores lightly beside you, already fast asleep... Yeah... the joy of unconsciousness...

—

“... Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock... Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring... Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun... Now the jingle hop has begun...”

Adjusting a plate on the table, you straighten and blow out a breath, trying to stifle a yawn.

I really can’t handle a night out anymore.

Brushing your hands together, you turn, surveying the party that’s in full-swing. It’s only a couple of hours in but it’s already a success. People are talking, laughing, dancing, singing, eating, drinking, having a merry old time in general really. You feel more proud than you would have thought as your gaze drifts across the room.

You’d had to shake Karen awake at half one, both of you practically dehydrated and feeling not so fresh. After drinking copious amounts of water, showering, changing and finally eating, realising you were both starving, you’d flown around the house together, tidying, cleaning, cooking up food, putting drinks out and decorating. It had been another whirlwind but a wonderful whirlwind. You’d had so much fun, and hadn’t thought once about The Incident. An hour before the party was due to start, you and Karen had gotten ready, selecting slightly more festive outfits than the ones you’d worn last night.

Now, she’s in the kitchen, laughing at something a neighbour is saying, while Mike and Nancy talk in separate corners with some of their friends who have turned up, and Ted, who’d you’d finally bumped in to and greeted, was sat in his armchair, talking with a guy who looked slightly desperate to get away.

The doorbell chimes and you catch Karen’s eye, waving your hand and mouthing, “I’ll get it,”, as you’ve done so for the last few chimes.

You have to carefully push your way past people on the way to the foyer, which is surprisingly empty. Moving to the door, you grip the handle and pull it open, a smile already on your lips.

“Hey—”

You cut yourself off, pausing as you stare up at the man.

Hopper stares back at you, shoulders slightly hunched from the cold, hands in his pockets.

"Hi,” he says, glancing behind you briefly.

"Hey,” you repeat, your heart pounding.

... Whaaaaaat is he doing here?

As if he’s somehow heard your thought, he clears his throat and raises his eyebrows a little. “Uh, Callahan said we were invited.”

Oh, fuck, yes, you’d forgotten Karen had insisted he come, and you, jokingly, had said, ‘Hey, why not invite Hopper, too?’

Haha. Ha. What a hilarious joke. What a hilarious little joke that Callahan clearly hadn’t taken as a joke so it is now real.

Just as you realise you haven’t answered him, he clears his throat again. “Should I—”

“Oh, no, God, sorry, come in.” Holding the door open, you step back, gesturing with your other hand into the foyer.

He steps in, glancing at the party beyond before he turns to you as you close the door, looking up at him.

You’re staring again.

Swallowing, you point at the stairs. “Uh, coats are up here, I’ll show you.”

Before he can answer, you stride to the steps and ascend, gripping the bannister.

Ooh... Ooh, what’s happening... What am I doing...

You’ve shown the last few people up to where the coats are being kept, just in case you can’t see them out, but this is... This is rather intimate.

You hear him behind you, following you up, and you make yourself exhale a long breath to try and calm your heart.

Be an adult.

The coats are being kept where they usually would at a Wheeler party; the guest room, AKA your room. It’s one of the reasons you’ve been basically escorting people up to it, not wanting them to linger in there or have a stranger possibly go through your things.

Pushing the door open, you step in to the dimly lit room and gesture at the bed that’s piled high with coats, scarves and jackets.

“Just here, leave it anywhere.”

He stands in the doorway, hands back in his pockets.

“I’m actually not stayin’ long, I’ve got a shift soon.”

Your hands drop. “Oh. Okay...” You can’t stop a slight frown from crossing your features. “Why did you come up, then?”

Hopper meets your gaze, his jaw moving minutely. “‘cause I want to talk to you.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

You’re sweating, your fingers flexing by your side.

Okay, here we go, he’s gonna yell at me and tell me everything he’s been holding back, here we go...

Shifting his stance, he leans against the doorframe, his gaze holding yours. “Listen, last night, I... I’m sorry I left so abruptly. That wasn’t, uh... polite of me.”

... Well, that’s not what you’d expected.

Your lips parted, you gaze at him. “Uh, no, no, no, it’s fine, I, I completely get it. It’s, uhm...” You pause, swallowing. Then, you smile faintly, and just say it, your voice dropping slightly. “... It’s weird, isn’t it.”

“Yeah. Fuck, yeah, it is.” He lets out a laugh, and for some reason the sound of it warms you. “I was a little taken aback when I saw you, I was totally unprepared.”

“Oh, me, too.” You exhale a laugh, your smile easing. “I wanted to say so many things but my brain wasn’t quite connected to my mouth.” You laugh again, though it’s more nervous this time, because you know if you don’t say it now, you never will. Your tongue gliding across your lips, you raise your hands a little. “Look, Hop, I...” Fuck, it feels strange saying his name again. “... I’m sorry for how things ended between us.”

Hopper’s already shaking his head before you’ve finished, a slight dip to his brow. “Don’t be. I think it was the kick up the ass I needed, and I knew you were right. Took me a little while to admit that, but, yeah.”

“Still, I could have given us a chance—”

“We were kids,” he cuts you off gently with a light smile, shrugging. “Neither of us knew what we were doin’ or how to handle somethin’ like that.”

You snort. “I still don’t.”

A corner of his mouth lifts a little higher. “Yeah, me, too.” Grazing his teeth over his lower lip, you watch him as he seems to consider something, your cheeks heating slightly at his intense gaze. “... Stop me if I’m, uh, treadin’ where I shouldn’t, but, and I’m just connectin’ the dots here, you said you’re stayin’ in Hawkins indefinitely, is that because something similar has happened?”

You give a faint smile, pointing a finger at him as you raise your eyebrows. “Yeah, you got me. I, uhm...” Here we go... “... I broke up with my fiancé. Or, he broke up with me, actually.” Your smile widens a little more. “Good connecting, you must be a great Chief.”

“Well, I do my best.” He looks sympathetic in a way that is mercifully not pitying. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thanks. I feel like shit every day, but, it was for the best. He was an asshole. I just didn’t want to see it.”

“How come he did the breaking up, then?”

You fold your arms, exhaling a breath. “He met someone else. Didn’t even bother to hide it or save my feelings. Just told me.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it really did.”

“Still,” he nods his head at you, “you seem much better off.”

You feel a little proud at that, because, actually, you feel like a mess. “Thanks. Karen’s letting me stay here until I figure out what I wanna do. I don’t even know if I like my job anymore or if it’s just everything that’s going on making me feel like I hate it, or maybe I have hated it for a while and I just don’t want to admit that to myself either.” You catch yourself from continuing, releasing a sheepish laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m just rambling on now, you can go back down—”

“Nah, it’s okay, I like listenin’ to you.”

He says it so sincerely, holding your gaze, that you don’t quite know what to do. Biting at your lower lip briefly, you look away for a few moments, your fingers twisting together.

“Well... Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You can hear the smile in his tone, so you look up, and God...

You’ve missed that smile.

His expression is so soft, too, so gentle and...

No, no, no, no... No, it’s just because you’re sad and it’s Christmas and—

Clearing his throat, he leans an arm against the chest of drawers beside the door.

“Y’know, I... I’ve thought about you over the years, thought about reachin’ out. I heard from someone years ago that you were in New York and I... I told myself I was gonna look you up but... I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Didn’t know if you’d even want to see me.”

A smile pulls at your lips, your chest aching slightly. “I think I would have.” Biting at your lower lip again, you take a breath. “... I’ve thought about you, too. Sometimes I think about if I made the biggest mistake of my life in leaving you.”

He blinks, before quickly smiling, shaking his head. “Like I said, we were just kids. We didn’t know any better.”

“I know.”

You’re gazing at each other again, quietly.

Don’t.

Clearing your throat, you make yourself smile. “I’m so sorry, I should have offered you a drink, I—”

“Would you like to go out for a drink?” he asks, so swiftly that it’s as if he’d been waiting to. “So we can catch up properly?”

Staring at him, you feel something quietly ignite within you. He looks somewhat nervous, and for some reason it calms you instantly.

A softer smile returning to your lips, you nod. “I’d like that.”

One corner of his mouth lifts a little higher than the other as he straightens, his hands falling to his sides. “Good. Okay. I’ll call. I gotta head out now, sorry, I just wanted to drop by before my shift.”

He wanted to drop by... to see me.

Trying to contain your smile, you move towards him, heading for the door. “It’s okay, I’ll walk you out.”

“Thanks.”

You head down the hallway and stairs in silence, your heart fluttering wildly. You’re suddenly very aware of your body, and of his right behind you, and oh my God, when was the last time I felt this way?

Pulling the door open, you hold it for him as you smile.

“Well, I hope your shift goes okay.”

“Thanks.”

He’s stood before you, a hand in his pocket, and he doesn’t move.

Then, his other hand moves to rest on your arm gently as he lowers his head and presses a soft kiss to your cheek.

Oh, fuck.

His lips brushing against your skin makes your heart stop and every inch of your skin warm. It’s brief, far too brief, and when he pulls his head back to look at you, you desperately hope you don’t look as flustered as you feel.

Giving a slightly breathless smile, you hold his gaze. “Merry Christmas, Hop’.”

The smile he gives in return has you feeling a way you know you haven’t in years.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

—————————————————————————————————

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[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Nineteen

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: fluff, slight angst, and smut

Words: 11.5K

a/n: I can’t believe this is the second to last part! 

Masterpost

You always really liked the beginning of November. The leaves had changed, and it was the middle of the semester. You also, finally, looked and felt your best for the first time in a while. Since Jessica was over six months, she was able to go to day care at the college with Jack. Harry really missed bringing her with him to work, but at least he still had Buster. You couldn’t believe that next fall Jack would be going to preschool. There was a nice place in Milton you and Harry found that you’d enroll him in once spring rolls around.

At the end of your work day, you go to pick the kids up from daycare. Jack was coloring with Ryan, like always. You were happy to see they had stayed such good friends. You told yourself you’d do your best to keep them in contact next year since they’d be going to different preschools.

“Mumma!” Jack exclaims.

“Get your backpack, sweetie, we gotta grab your sister from the other room.” You bend down and kiss his forehead. He holds your hand as you walk over to the next room where the kept the babies. “Ah, there’s my sweet girl. How was she Anthony?”

“A doll, as usual. She giggled a bunch, and took a great nap.”

“That’s what I love to hear. Hi, angel.” You cuddle her to your chest. She was very excited to see you. “Let’s get you both in the car, come on.”

Jack is patient as usual while he waits for you to get Jessica situated in her car seat. You pick him up to put him in his. You furrow your brows at your backseat.

“How the hell am I supposed to do this with three?” You ask yourself. “I’d need to get a car with another row of seats.” You sigh and get into the front seat.

“Three what, Mumma?”

“Oh, nothing, baby doll. Mummy’s just talking to herself.” You laugh.

You and Harry hadn’t really talked about another kid in a while. Things in the house had finally gotten into a decent routine. You were almost scared to bring it up.

“Jack?”

“Yes, Mumma?”

“Do you like having a little sister so far?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs. “I just don’t like when she gets loud.”

“Like when she cries for a long time?”

“Mhm.”

“I don’t like it either.” You chuckle. “Her bottom teeth are coming in, that’s why she’s been crying a little more than usual. It can be a little uncomfortable on her gums.”

“Did I do that when I was baby?”

“Mhm, we used to freeze carrots for you to gnaw on.” You shake your head at yourself. “Sometimes we’d throw a wet rag in the freezer too, anything to soothe you, honey. You used to bite on Daddy’s fingers too.”

“I did?!”

“Yeah.” You laugh. “It was cute. Jessica hasn’t seemed to want to do that. The teething rings work just fine.”

“I like her.” He looks at his sister and smiles.

“Me too…would you ever want another?”

“Sister?”

“Or a brother…I don’t really get to decide…”

“I want her to get big so we can play.”

“I want the complete opposite. I want you small forever.”

“But I’m a big boy, Mumma.”

“Yes.” You sigh. “A very big boy. Dr. Philips thinks you’re going to be very tall, and your sister may end up a shrimp like me.”

“Daddy’s tall.”

“Daddy’s very tall.” You smile.

You liked your chats with Jack on the way home from work. You’ll miss them a lot once he’s in preschool, but you didn’t need to think about that just yet. You hit a little bit of traffic on the way home. You’re grateful when you pull into the garage. You get Jessica into your arms and Jack out of his car seat.

“Hang your backpack up please when you get up into the kitchen, and then wash up for snacky.” You tell him. “I gotta feed this one too. Are you hungry, darling?” Jessica makes a noise and you nod.

You get jack some cut up grapes and then get Jessica a bubby. Once she’s burped you set her down in her bouncy so you can go use the bathroom.

“Wanna see what I colored today, Mumma?”

“Of course I do!” You plop on the floor with him in the living room so he can show you his many drawings. “Is this our family, honey?”

“Mhm.” He beams. “There’s Daddy, you, me, Jessica, and Buster.”

“Are you riding Buster?”

“Yeah.” He giggles.

“We have to put this on the fridge for Daddy to see. He’s going to love it.” You get up and find a magnet and some space to put the picture up.

A little while later just as you’re preparing dinner while also going over ABC’s with Jack, you hear the door slam downstairs. You sigh heavily, especially when you hear Harry stomping up the stairs.

“Daddy!” Jack exclaims. You also hear Jessica getting excited from her high-chair.

Harry doesn’t even come into the kitchen. He just grumbles and goes right into the bathroom to wash up. He comes into the kitchen when he’s done, and looks at you.

“Hi.” He grunts and opens the fridge to grab a beer.

“Our son is waiting.” You nod over to Jack.

“Hey, buddy.” Harry goes over and kisses the top of Jack’s head. He looks over at Jessica and can’t help but smile when he sees her smile. He gives her a kiss as well. “What’s for dinner?”

“Roasted veggies and rice. Should be done any minute. Are you alright?”

“M’fine.” You roll your eyes at him and turn around to look at the veggies through the glass in the oven. “Shouldn’t do that in front of him, not a great habit to pick up.”

“Neither is coming home angry, and immediately grabbing a beer out of the fridge.” You cross your arms and look at him.

“Touché.” He smirks. “I had a long day. Not something I can really discuss in front of little ears.”

“Later then?”

“Yes.”

You nod and get dinner plated up. Harry helps feed Jessica while you make sure Jack’s veggies aren’t too hot. He really liked when you roasted veggies, and you were thankful he didn’t just want hotdogs all the time.

“Mm, delicious, babe.” Harry says.

“Thank you.” You whistle for Buster. “Come eat, baby.” He barks and eats the food you put out for him.

After dinner you and Harry give Jack and Jessica a bath. You lull Jessica to sleep, but Jack is allowed to stay up in bed a little longer. You come into his room and see Harry reading with him.

“Time for bed.” You say. You kiss Jack on the forehead and so does Harry. “Night, angel.”

You both creep out of his room and go downstairs. You both sit on the couch.

“Alright, tell me what happened.”

“I have two interns this semester, remember?” You hum your response. “Well, I couldn’t find either of them for a hot second, so I go to the back to see if maybe one of them was in the bathroom and maybe the other was in the storage closet. No one was in the bathroom, so I go to check the storage closet, and I see it’s locked. I grab Mariah and ask her why it would be locked during the day, and she had no idea, so I grab my keys and I open the door to find the two of them pulling their clothes back on.”

“Stop!” You gasp. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “Full on fuck fest in my storage closet. Even we haven’t fucked in there.” He scoffs. “So, I obviously had to let them both go, but that means they may not get college credit, which I sort of feel bad about…they might be able to get one or two credits since they completed half the semester. I have to come to your campus tomorrow to speak with a dean or something. And now I’m down two people right before the holidays. I’m gonna get super busy.” He sighs.

“What about a paid thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you could hire a couple of other college students and pay them hourly or something. It could just be a seasonal thing for the holidays. You’re getting new interns for the spring anyways, right?”

“True…it would only be for a couple of months I’d need to pay them. Do you know any responsible students looking for work?”

“Oh, sure, tons. I can send an email to the film club and see if any of those guys wanna make a quick buck.”

“I can’t believe I have to deal with this.” He groans.

“It’s kinda funny when you think about it.” You chuckle and he glares at you. “Oh, come on!”

“Little rabbits couldn’t keep it in their pants.”

“You remember being that age, Harry. Even in your twenties, you were like that.” You laugh.

“I wouldn’t have risked college credit like that.” He shakes his head. “Morons.”

“Did they at least feel bad?”

“They did, and they were really embarrassed. Isaac spoke to them mostly, I was too aggravated and Mariah had a client coming in.” He sighs. “I just can’t keep them on after something like that, you know?”

“No, it makes perfect sense to let them go. They need to know there are consequences to their actions. You’re doing the right thing, babe.”

“Thanks. Sorry I came home grumpy. Usually I can cool down on the train home, but everything was pissing me off, and then there was traffic from the train station back here.”

“I hit traffic on the way home too. I wonder if there was an accident or something.”

“Who the fuck knows, it’s Boston, there’s always traffic.”

“Poor thing.” You pout at him. “Come here, come lay with me.”

You lean back and rest your head on the arm of the couch, and Harry rests his head on your chest. You wrap your arms around him and rub his head and back.

“How was your day?” He mumbles.

“Good, my students are starting in on their projects. Some of them, uh, are taking bets on if or when I’ll get pregnant again.” You laugh nervously.

“Seems like an incentive thing to make bets about.” He looks up at you. “What if you weren’t able to have more?”

“I’m very honest with them, especially the students that have had me for years. They’re fine. I thought it was sweet. They like seeing pictures of our family and stuff.”

“They just like when you go on your little tangents.” He chuckles.

“What students wouldn’t?” You kiss his forehead. He props himself up to look at you. “What?”

“Your heart is, like, racing.”

“Aw, isn’t that sweet? Even after all this time you still make my heart flutter.”

“Y/N.” He sighs with a smile. “Are you trying to tell me something?” He thinks for a moment and then gasps. “Are you pregnant?”

“No! God, no…but…I’ve been thinking about maybe…what if it was time to try again?”

“I feel like we just got a routine together. Everything’s gonna change next year with Jack going to preschool. Our schedules are going to need to adjust a lot, and you wanna add a baby to the mix of that? You were pregnant during our five year anniversary so we couldn’t go anywhere. This April is gonna be our five year wedding anniversary, I was sorta hoping to take a vacation.”

“While I’m teaching? We’d have to go in March when I’m on spring break.”

“Plus, Jessica’s first birthday will be in April. We’re gonna be really busy. Jack’s still too little to help out.” He sighs. “I don’t know, the idea of it just really stresses me out.” He gets off you to sit up, and you sit up as well. “And you’ve been talking about how much you’ve loved the way you look lately, you wanna start changing all of that?”

“I told you before, I’d do it over and over.” You look down at your lap and twiddle your thumbs. “You…really don’t want another?”

“It’s not that I don’t, I just don’t think right now is a good time.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be right now.”

“Y/N.” He puts his hand over yours and you look up at him. “You know what I mean.”

“Even if I was pregnant during our anniversary, we could still go somewhere. We could go away for a weekend or something. I’d still have fun.”

“Not if you were nauseous and sweaty. Been through it twice with you now, I know how you are.”

“I just feel like I’m playing beat the clock or something. Like, I’m thirty-two, so if we got pregnant soon, then I’d be thirty-three probably when the baby’s born, and then I think that would be enough. I feel like three is the magic number. How nice for Jessica to be so close in age with a sibling, and Jack could find little ways to help if he wanted.”

“We’d be giving up our guest room.”

“We do have my office down here that could be converted if we put a small pull out in there.”

“You want my mother to sleep on a pull out?!”

“No, she could have our bed. Plus, those bedrooms are large upstairs, Jessica could share with the baby. We have one of each, so either way two could share as they got older. I’m…a little shocked you’re not jumping at the chance.”

“I just think we need to be realistic. That’s a third college fund we’d need to invest in.”

“The timing’s never going to be good, Harry.” You cross your arms. “And so what if it’s a third college fund? Do you know how much money I’ll be making by the time the kids would even be old enough to go to college? I’m set to teach two courses online this January, you know that money goes right towards those accounts.”

“I just don’t understand why you want to throw off the balance we have right now. There’s four of us, we have one of each…why do we need another?”

“Harry.” Your bottom lip starts to quiver. “I just have so much love to give, and I wanna give it to another baby.”

“You’re already spread so thin! Jack still fights for your attention anytime you hold Jessica for longer than five minutes. Now you want him to compete with two?”

“Are you sure it’s not you who wants to compete for my attention?”

“Oh, please.” He scoffs.

“Besides, I thought you liked me when I’m pregnant.” You pout.

“I like you all the time, that’s not fair.” He cups your cheek. “As much as I love the idea of having a ton of sex to get you pregnant, I just…can I have some time to think about?”

“Okay.” You lean into his touch.

“I know that’s not the answer you wanted.”

“You’re not saying no, so I’ll take it for now.” You kiss his palm and stand up. You stretch a little, really putting yourself on display for him. “Think I’m gonna turn in.”

“Me too.” He yawns. “I’m fucking exhausted.”

You both do your nightly routines and get into bed. You roll over and Harry wraps himself around you. You wanted to have sex right now, but you didn’t want him to think it was just because you wanted to make a baby. You didn’t want him thinking that was the only reason you wanted him. Maybe once he falls asleep you could go take care of yourself in the bathroom or something. No, you didn’t want some piece of plastic to get you off, you wanted him. You roll over to face him and see he’s already asleep. Of course, just like a man to fall asleep so easily. He pulls you in closer to him, but you pry away, flipping onto your back.

“You’re restless.” He mumbles with his eyes closed.

“Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you mad at me?” He opens an eye to look at you.

“Of course not.” You look at him. “I’m just…in the mood.”

“Because of the baby talk?” He smirks.

“No…just…in general.” You roll back on your side to face him. You grab one of his hands and place it between your legs. He grunts when he feels how wet you are. “Just want you, babe.” You whimper as he presses his palm against you.

“I can see that.”

He slips two fingers inside you, and you grind against him. He keeps a slow pace, just enjoying the way you feel around him. His thumb presses circles into your clit. You press your forehead to his chest to try to muffle your moans. Your nails scratch at his shoulders, causing him to groan.

“Fuck it.” He retracts his fingers from you and pushes you to lay on your back. He drags his boxers off and throws them to the floor. He practically rips the t-shirt you were wearing off.

“What do you mean fuck it?” You giggle.

“I’m gonna pump you silly and get you pregnant. I’m fuckin’ done using condoms.”

“Harry…” You cup his cheeks. “An hour ago it didn’t really seem like you wanted-“

He crashes his mouth over yours, and practically rams his tongue in your mouth to shut you up. He had his reservations, but he had such a tough time telling you no or even denying you of something you really wanted. The thought of you being so willing to put your body through this again because you wanted to carry another one of his children drove him absolutely wild. You said you had all this love to give, and so did he. He wanted to turn into another little bundle with you.

He bites your bottom lip before sitting up to give you some air. You look up at him stunned. He had a dark, lustful look in his eyes. One of his hands travels up to grip your throat.

“Got me all riled up now, gonna let me take care of it?” He asks.

“Yes.”

He grins at you and loosens his grip on your neck.

“Will you go down on me?”

“No.”

“What?!”

“Do you wanna know why we had so much trouble with the first two? I kept eating you out like every time we tried, and apparently saliva can, like, kill sperm. So, unfortunately, I can’t put my tongue on you.” He starts kissing on your neck and down your chest. “Well, can’t put my tongue on your there, at least.” He swirls his tongue around one of your nipples.

“Harry don’t suck or bite, I’m still making milk…”

He rolls his eyes as he kisses between the valley of your breasts. He kisses on the area just above your nipple and bites down hard, causing you to gasp. His hand goes back between your legs to spread you apart. He lines himself up and rubs his tip around your folds and throbbing clit before pushing inside. You let out a relieved sigh. He grabs both of your legs and throws them over his shoulders. His fingers dig into your calves as he starts thrusting in and out of you. Your head rolls back into the pillows as one of your hands travels down to lightly rub your clit.

“Christ.” He grunts. “How are you still so beautiful?” Your eyes meet his and all you do is smile at him. “I mean really, it’s just not fair.”

He drops your legs and comes to you so you’re chest to chest. His mouth is on yours again and you wrap your legs around his waist. Your hands travel to his hair as he takes over rubbing your clit.

“Can’t wait to feel your come, Harry.” You groan.

He drops his head to the crook of your neck. He nearly lost it at your words, but he needed to make sure you got yours first, not that it was a race or anything. He wanted you to feel good all over, and for a little while longer. He rocks into you in a way that hits your g-spot, making you arch up into him.

“Like that, baby girl?”

“Fuck, yes, don’t stop.”

He feels you tighten around him and he knows you’re close. He rubs your clit faster, and that’s when you lose it. A cracked gasp leaves your lips. You twitch and writhe under him as he tries to hold you down. You kiss him as his pace picks back up. You can’t remember the last time you two weren’t interrupted or had to be quick, this was amazing.

“Harry.” You whimper. You weren’t making this easy for him at all. He couldn’t hang on much longer. You were too much when you were so needy like this. “Want you to come.”

“Want me to come, angel?” He whispers in your ear and it sends a shiver up your spine.

You smirk to yourself and grab his face so he’ll look at you.

“Come on, Daddy, put another baby in me.”

“Jesus, fucckkk.”

His come shoots inside you and paints all your walls. You moan out from being able to feel it after so long. He nearly collapses on top of you. He was exhausted. He slowly slips out of you and you clamp your legs together. He rolls onto his back and he looks at you.

“That was evil.” He breathes. You look at him and chuckle. “S’not funny.”

“Yes it is. I call you Daddy all the time.”

“Yeah, in front of the kids. Little bit different in the bedroom.”

“Got you to come didn’t it?” You boop his nose.

“Didn’t need that much help, love, I was about ready to explode either way.” He reaches out to stroke your cheek. “So beautiful.” He gets up from the bed to go clean himself up, and after waiting a few minutes you do the same.

“So…you’re really into having another baby? It’s not just me wanting one?” You ask as you both face each other and cuddle up to one another.

“I want it. I was just being silly earlier.”

“No, your feelings were completely valid, honey. Sometimes I need a reality check.”

“I think…three will be enough though. I think anything more would be a lot for us, but a family of five sounds nice.”

“Technically six, can’t forget about Buster.” You chuckle.

“Right, can’t forget about our oldest.” He smiles. “Do you agree though? Three’s enough?”

“Yeah, three’s plenty.”

“As long as we’re on the same page about that, I’m good with doing it all over again.” He kisses your forehead.

“And then you can get a vasectomy.”

“Y/N.” He groans. “I don’t wanna shoot blanks.”

“But then we’d literally never have to worry.”

“Sometimes they don’t take.”

“So you’d rather me go through some kind of invasive procedure when you could just easily get a little snip?”

“Why are we talking about this now?”

“Because it’s something we’ll need to be on the same page about, Harry. I don’t wanna get an IUD or get my tubes tied. I shouldn’t have to when there’s an even easier, low risk procedure out there.” You rub your thumb over his cheek. “Just think it over, okay?”

“Okay.” He kisses your nose. “Let’s get you pregnant first, though.”

“Agreed.” You yawn and wrap yourself tighter around him. He pulls you in nice and close. Times like this it felt like before you were even ever married with kids when you’d just hold each other like this. “I love you.” You whisper.

“I love you too.” He whispers back.

//

Saturdays were for raking leaves. Jack loved being able to help Harry outside a little more now that he was a tad older. You were inside with Jessica making grilled cheese and tomato soup for everyone. She enjoyed watching you cook. Once in a while she’d whine because of her teeth.

“Need a new ring, darling girl?”

You go into the freezer for a teething ring and hand it to her. She happily puts it into her mouth to suck on. You smile at her and kiss the top of her head. You were happy she didn’t fuss when she was in her highchair. You go over to the sliding door and you love what you see. Harry tackling Jack down into one of the larger pile of leaves and them both hysterically laughing. If your ovaries weren’t ready to explode already, there sure as hell would be now. You slide the door open and step out.

“I hate to ruin the fun boys, but lunch is ready!”

“Grilled cheese!” Jack shoots up and runs towards you.

“Wash your hands please.”

He groans, but does as you say. Harry comes strolling up to you.

“You as well, Daddy.” You grin.

“Sure thing, Mummy.” He pinches your bottom and goes down the hall to wash his hands with Jack.

You cut up Jack’s sandwich for him in to long quarters. He looks at it funny.

“Why’s it like this, Mumma?”

“So you can dunk it into the soup if you want.” You blow on his cup of soup for him. “Should be cool enough.”

“Hey, do that to mine.” Harry smirks.

“Blow it yourself.” You shake your head at him. “It tastes good, Jack, see?” You dunk your own piece of sandwich into the soup. “Mm, so yummy.”

Jack watches Harry do the same, and that was enough for him. He dunks his sandwich into the soup and takes a chomp out of it. His eyes grow wide and he smiles which makes you and Harry laugh.

“Mm, that’s good, Mumma.”

“Knew you’d like it.” You smile and look at Harry. “Got much left to do out there?”

“Just need to bag it all up and drag the bags out front.”

“Do you need my help for that?”

“Nah, I should be able to manage.” He shrugs. “But thanks.”

“Mumma, Daddy said we have enough twigs for a fire later.”

“Oh, did he?” You tap your chin. “Hmm, I guess that means I’ll have to go to the store and get some marshmallows.”

“Yes!”

“You can take him while I finish the yard if you want.”

“Sure, that’ll work out well. Jessica can nap while I drive around.”

“They both can.”

“No naps.” Jack pouts.

“If you don’t nap then we can’t have a fire.” Harry says firmly. Usually you didn’t like when he would get so stern with Jack, but right now it was working for you.

“Daddy’s right, Jack. We can’t have a fire if you don’t nap.”

“Fine.” He huffs and finishes up his lunch.

Harry helps you get the two of them in the car and kisses you goodbye before getting back to work in the yard. You had Jessica strapped to your chest and Jack in the little seat in the shopping cart. You kept wondering how you might do this with three kids, but by the time a third would be born, Jack and Jessica could both sit in the shopping cart.

“Can we have s’mores, Mumma?”

“Sure, we could do that, honey.” You smile.

You walk around the store and grab all the items. Jessica was absolutely passed out, and Jack’s eyes were getting droopy. You needed to get them both back in the car stat. You just needed to grab the graham crackers.

“Shit.” You say to yourself. You couldn’t really reach the brand that Harry liked. You probably could’ve just lifted Jack up to grab them, but a man standing near you saw your dilemma.

“Need some help?”

“That would be great, thanks.” You smile as he grabs the box and hands it to you.

“Cute kids.” He smiles.

“Oh, thanks. They’re fading fast.”

“I didn’t even know they made gluten free graham crackers.”

“Yeah, my husband prefers them. They actually taste pretty good.”

The man nods as you start to walk away. You get in line and notice that he gets in line behind you. You smile at him again and he returns it. You feel his eyes burn into you as you put everything up on the belt. You were starting to feel uneasy, but you weren’t sure why. You pay for your things, and hang back a moment. You pretend to check the receipt as the man walks by you and out of the store. You notice that he doesn’t walk out to a car. He was just standing near the door. You take a deep breath. It could easily be nothing, maybe he was waiting for a ride, but you were starting to freak yourself out.

“Mumma?” Jack says sleepily.

“I just need to…” You look around. “I need to call Daddy.” You take your phone out and call Harry.

“Love? Everything alright?”

“No…this guy at the store is giving me the creeps, and I’m afraid to walk out to the car.”

“Gimme ten minutes, I’ll take an uber so I can just drive you home.”

“I’m sorry, I just-“

“It’s okay. Ten minutes, honey.”

You couldn’t believe that the man was still there, standing outside. He was definitely waiting for you. You see Harry’s uber pull up and you feel a wave of relief. Harry looked very rugged today. His scruff was due for a shave, he had his bandanna on to keep his hair back, his work boots, loose jeans, and a sweater.

“Hey.” He smiles when he comes in. “Is it the guy that’s right out there?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, gimme the keys.”

“Hi, Daddy.” Jack yawns.

“Hi, buddy.”

Harry takes your keys and grabs the couple of bags out of the cart, and also lifts Jacks out. He keeps him on his hip while he walks out with you. You don’t look at the man as you walk by, and out to the car. You get the kids in their car seats, and Harry drives you home. You were shaking slightly.

“He had to have been waiting for me.” You whisper. “I can’t even go to the grocery store now?”

“You have your pepper spray in your bag, right?”

“Yes.”

“And I showed you how to stab someone with the keys if need be.”

“It’s different when the kids are with me. If I was alone…I don’t know I probably would’ve been fine, but if something happened to me…”

“Don’t think like that.” He puts his hand on your thigh and gives it a squeeze. “What happened, did he interact with you?”

“He helped me grab the graham crackers off that top shelf. You know I can never reach those. I even mentioned I had a husband. Then he ended up in line behind me. I stayed back to see if he was planning to follow me, and he just stood there.” You shake your head and put your hand over his. “Don’t know what I would do without you.”

//

You and Harry got Jack and Jessica inside for a proper afternoon nap, and the two of you cuddled on the couch for a bit yourselves. You had calmed down from the little scare. You thought to maybe call the store tomorrow to have them check their tapes to see if that man had come in and done anything weird like that before.

“Should we invite Sarah and Niall for the fire tonight?” Harry asks, stretching out to sit up.

“Sure! I’ll text them now.” You take your phone out and text in the group chat you have to let them know they’re welcome to come by. “Probably gonna be one of the last ones. It’s starting to get too cold at night.”

“Can’t wait for Thanksgiving break. Love when we get to be home together for a few days.”

“I know, only a few weeks away now.”

“I’ve lined up a couple of interviews with those students you sent my way. I’m gonna see ‘em Monday. Hopefully they’ll refrain from fucking in the storage closet.” He rolls his eyes.

“How was your chat with the dean?”

“Fine.” He shrugs. “I tried to come see you, but I think you were teaching, and I didn’t wanna disturb you.”

“Since when do you not wanna disturb one of my lectures?” You laugh.

“Well, it’s one thing if it’s at the end of class. Those kids are paying for a proper education, you know?” He smirks.

“How considerate of you.” You crawl into his lap and straddle him. “You know…those two should be asleep for a little while longer.” You lean down to his ear as he wraps his arms around you. “When was the last time we fucked on this couch?” Your words send a shiver up his spine.

“What if he comes trotting down the stairs?”

“Buster will distract him. You know how he loves to pet and play with Buster when he first wakes up.”

“True.” His hand slide into the back of your jeans so he can grip your ass. You roll your hips down on his. “Just gotta be quiet though.”

You nod your head in understanding. You stand up briefly to take your pants and underwear off. Harry undoes his belt and zipper to take his dick out. You grab the blanket and wrap it around your back so you weren’t totally exposed, just in case. You get back on his lap. He rubs your slit to make sure you’re wet as you pump his dick.  

Once you’re both ready you slide down on him. You both grunt and moan. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close as you tuck your face into the crook of his neck. He moves you up and down on him and you whimper into him. You bite down on his soft skin and it makes him thrust up into you harder. You grip at his shoulders and make fists with the material of his sweater.

“Oh, god.” You moan and move your face too look at him. You slot your mouth over his as he continues with his movements. You rock against him to give your clit some much needed friction. “Harry.” You gasp. “Shit, oh my god.” He had you panting already, and with another sharp thrust up he had you coming around him. Your lips find his again to help capture the noises you were making.

It didn’t take him long to come after that. He lays you down puts a pillow under your knees to prop your legs up a bit. He covers your lower half with the blanket.

“Gonna have to wash that.” He chuckles and kisses your forehead. He sees your phone light up and looks at it. “Sarah and Niall are in for the fire.”

“Oh, great! This’ll be fun.”

“Daddy!” You both hear Jack call from his room.

“He must need to shit.” Harry chuckles and you swat at him. “What? You don’t think it’s funny that he only wants my help with that?”

“He gets embarrassed when I help him, and I feel terrible about it.”

“He’s just too polite to shit in front of his mum, it’s cute.”

Harry goes up the stairs to Jack’s room. He was doing a dance like he really need to use the bathroom. He had been using the actual toilet more and more, but he had a tough time going number two alone. You eventually get up and get yourself situated. You go up to check on Jessica who was making babbling noises in her crib.

“Oh, someone’s awake.” You coo. She smiles up at you. “Hi, angel. Mummy change you now.”

You lift her out of the crib and set her on the changing table. You get her all fresh and cozy in a change of clothes and carry her out of the room. You take her to the living room and sit on the floor with her. You watch as she slowly gets herself to her feet.

“Good job, Jessica! Now, walk to Mumma.” You hold your arms out for her to balance on. Harry comes down with Jack and Buster. “Come on, you can do it.” She takes little steps. She wobbles a bit, but she makes it and you scoop her up in a hug and tons of kisses.

“Hey.” Jack pouts and runs over to you.

“Oof!” He nearly knocks you down.

“Jack, that’s too rough.” Harry says and gets on the floor with everyone. He takes Jessica from you and snuggles her close. “Hi, darling girl, did you have a nice nappy?” He boops her nose and she giggles.

“Jack, why do you get so jealous?” You laugh.

“I walk all the time, and you don’t give me kisses.” He pouts.

“Oh…well, I did when you were her age. I’m sorry.” You hold him close to you and give him tons of kisses. “All better?”

“Much.” He smiles.

//

“Everyone have enough blankets?” You ask the group as everyone’s sat around the fire.

“Think we’re good, Y/N.” Niall says and pulls Jack into his lap. “Now, let’s get this marshmallow roasted.”

You had the baby monitor on your hip so you’d be able to hear if Jessica needed anything while you were all outside. You snuggle up with Harry and he hands you a s’more.

“Thank you.” You kiss him on the cheek.

“Uncle Niall?” Jack asks.

“Yes?”

“How come you and Auntie Sarah don’t have a baby?”

“Jack.” You say. “Not an okay question to ask.”

“Why?”

“It’s personal.” Harry says. “Not all adults have babies.”

“It’s okay.” Sarah says and takes Jack into her lap. “Jack, I work with lots of little kids all day long. I have so many kids that I love and that I care about. So, Uncle Niall and I didn’t really feel the need to have one of our own. Besides, we like just being an Auntie and an Uncle. We get to give all our love to you and Jessica.”

“I thought all married people had babies.”

“Not the case, bud.” Niall says.

“How come Mumma and Daddy had us, then?”

“Because your Daddy likes getting your mum pr-“

“Niall!” Sarah swats an arm at him and he starts laughing.

“Jack, come here.” You chuckle and he walks around over to you with a gooey marshmallow in his mouth. “What’s with all the questions, hm? People like to express their love for each other in different ways. Daddy and I wanted to turn our love into babies, and Sarah and Niall wanted to turn their love into, uh…” You look at them for help.

“Vacations.” Niall says. “We get to travel and see the world, and show everyone around us how much we love each other.” He grabs her hand and kisses it.

“And, we give back to others in need, Jack. Niall and I use the money that we’d spend on babies to donate to different causes. That’s another way we show our love.”

“See, honey, there’s lots of different ways to show love out there.” Harry says. “But I do like getting your mum pregnant.” He grins.

“Okay!” You stand up with Jack. “I’m taking him to bed because you two are idiots.” You shake your head and carry him inside. The three of them laugh.

“Sorry ‘bout that, hope he didn’t make you uncomfortable. It’s sorta rude to ask someone why they don’t have kids.”

“It’s okay.” Sarah shrugs. “Unfortunately we’re used to it. I can’t tell you how many of the parents, even some of the other teachers at school have told me that I’d change my mind.” She scoffs. “I don’t have those motherly instincts. I can babysit no problem, but doing it 24/7? No thanks. I’ll leave it to you guys.”

“I truthfully don’t mind just being an uncle either. I like that we can pick and go as we please, and just do things spontaneously without having to worry. I feel completely fulfilled.” Niall says.

“Me too.” She kisses his hand. You come back out shortly and pinch Harry’s arm as you sit down.

“Ow! What the fuck?” He rubs his arm before throwing it around you.

“He kept asking me why Daddy likes getting me pregnant, you fucking moron.” You take a sip of your drink. “I’m lucky he was tired. Thank god Buster likes cuddling with him or he’d never sleep.”

“Sorry.” He chuckles. “Guess I shouldn’t have been goofing like that.”

“Y/N, has Harry told you about our little plan for spring?” Niall says.

“No, what’s that?”

“We were thinking of becoming soccer coaches, getting Jack started on a team and all that.” Harry explains. “Lots of kids in this neighborhood, could be fun to start a league for the really little kids.”

“Yeah, get some skills early on.”

“But Harry…you’re not very good at soccer.”

“True, but Niall is. Gotta have a kid on the team to be a coach, so he could be my assistant coach, but do all of the actual coaching, while I would bring the snacks and make up the rosters.”

“Does Jack want to play soccer?” Sarah asks. “He really likes to draw.”

“Yeah, he’s told me a couple times, especially when we play in the backyard. He likes kicking the ball around.”

“Then I think it’s a great idea. You could pick him up from daycare and take him to whatever field the practices would be at. It would be fun to see him play on the weekends too. He’d look so cute in his little uniform.” You pout.

“It’s settled then, we’re puttin’ a soccer team together.” Niall smiles and looks at Sarah. “And you can be the cheerleader.”

“Oh, please.” She scoffs. “Y/N and I will be off to the side sipping wine in inconspicuous bottles.”

“I like the sound of that.” You giggle.

//

You were in the middle of one of your lectures when there was a knock on the door. You go to open and it see it’s one of the workers from the daycare.

“Hi, Dr. Y/L/N, sorry to disrupt your class, but you may want to come get Jack. He’s not feeling well.”

“Oh no! Has he thrown?”

“No, but he says his stomach definitely hurts, and we took his temp. He has a little fever.”

“Alright, um…shit, I have two more classes today. Let me call my husband and see if he can grab him quick.”

“We’ll need him to take Jessica too, she could also easily be sick.”

“Okay.” You go back into the classroom and grab your phone. “Kids are sick, talk amongst yourselves for a moment.” You tell them and step back out to call Harry. “Hi.”

“What’s up?”

“Jack’s not feeling well, can you pick them up from daycare? I’d just take them home, but I have two more classes today.”

“Uhh…oi! Isaac!” You take the phone from your ear at how loud he yelled. “Yeah, I can step out for a bit to get them.”

“Thank you, you’re a lifesaver.” You hang up. “Harry will be there soon to grab them.”

“Awesome, thanks! Sorry again for disrupting.”

“No, I’m glad you came to tell me. Thank you.”

You go back into class and get on with your lecture.

Harry gets to the daycare. He frowns when he sees how pale Jack is. He scoops up Jessica and gets them both into his car.

“Don’t feel good, Daddy.”

“I know, buddy. We’re almost home.”

Luckily Jack didn’t puke in the car, but Harry was nervous he might so he sets him up on the couch with him so he could properly watch him. He puts Jessica in her bouncy. She didn’t have a fever, but he knew that could easily change. Harry gets his laptop once Jack is settled and comfortable, and answers some emails. He felt terrible for leaving, but it was nearly the end of the day anyways.

You get home around four, a little later than usual, but you had a ton of students come during your office hours. You run right upstairs to the living room. Harry was stretched out on the couch. Jack and Jessica both laying on his chest. Both curled up and comfortable on their Daddy.

“Hi.” You whisper.

“Hi.” He smiles. “He puked a couple of times. Think he has a little bug.”

“Oh no.” You frown and sit on the edge of the couch to stroke Jack’s back.

“Gave him some children’s Tylenol. She’s been fine, but she could easily get sick too.”

“I’m gonna go change his sheets. How’s Buster?”

“Been an angel f’me all afternoon. Love being able to just let him outside when I can’t really walk him.”

“Okay, let me take care of his bed and then I’ll get us all fed.” You kiss Harry’s forehead. You start to walk towards the stairs, and then you turn around and look at him.

“What?”

“Nothing.” You smile.

“I know that look, and you’re nuts if you think there’s gonna be any baby making tonight.”

“The thought never occurred to me.” You scoff. “You just look so cute with them.” You pout. “It’s hard not to want a dozen little babies.”

“Go change his fuckin’ sheets, will you?” He chuckles.

You get Jack’s bed settled, and come back down to feed Buster. You decide that vegetable soup would be a good idea, so you get to chopping and throw everything into a pot with some broth and let it cook. You come back over to Harry and smell Jessica’s bum.

“Oof, she stinks.” You laugh and take her from him.

“I was afraid of waking him up.” Harry sits up slightly and keeps Jack curled up in his arms. “Poor kid. Cried after he puked. I think it made his stomach feel worse.”

You take Jessica upstairs to change her and put her pj’s on, and then bring her back down to get her to walk a little. She balances on your forearms as she takes her little steps.

“She’ll be doing it on her own in no time.” Harry says.

“Eight months, she’s growing so fast.” You sigh. “I love the little curls that are coming in on her head. Gonna have another mop like with him.”

“Must have strong genes.” Harry chuckles. Jack groans, but Harry rubs his back to soothe him.

“I’ll be able to stay home with them tomorrow since I don’t teach. I can just work from home.”

“Are you sure? I could probably stay home.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ll take care of them.”

“Mumma?” Jack adjusts in Harry’s arms and opens his eyes slowly.

“Hi, honey. Having a nice snuggle with Daddy?”

“Mhm. Don’t feel good.”

“I know.” You pick Jessica up and carry her to the highchair. Harry carries Jack into the kitchen. “Wanna try eating some soup?”

“No.” He pouts.

“How about some toast?”

“No.” Tears nearly form in his eyes.

“I think he’s afraid of spewing again.”

“He needs to eat something. You know what they say, starve a cold, feed a fever.”

“Toast is probably better, but I’ll have soup.” Harry says.

You nod and fill up two bowls. You give Jessica a bubby for dinner while Harry gets Jack to have some toast. After you clean up, you bring them both upstairs for bed. Buster snuggles up with Jack.

“Baby, we’re leaving this bucket here, if you don’t feel good you can just use that, okay?”

“Wanna sleep with you.” He whines.

“Daddy and I aren’t going to sleep yet. I put nice new sheets on your bed a little while ago, isn’t it cozy?”

“Got her down.” Harry says, coming in. “Buster will make you feel better, buddy. You like sleepin’ with him.”

“Wanna sleep with you.” He pouts.

“Jack, just try to sleep in here, and if you really can’t then you can come in with us, okay?” Harry says. You both kiss him goodnight and leave his room.

“I need a shower, gotta make sure we both don’t get sick too.”

“Oh, good idea. I’ll bring the baby monitor into the bathroom.” You say.

“You’re joining?”

“Why would we shower separately?” You scoff and go down the hall to your bedroom.

You hadn’t wanted Harry this much in a long time, or that’s at least how he felt. It sort of annoyed him that you had basically been fucking a lot just because you wanted a baby. He walks into the bedroom and starts taking his clothes off.

“Actually, I’d like to just have time to myself if that’s alright. They were on me all afternoon.”

“Oh…okay.”

He turns to go into the bathroom, only wearing his boxers. He sighs and turns around to look at you.

“Are we only fucking so much because you just want to get pregnant?”

“What?”

“It would just be nice to feel wanted because you want me, and not because you know I can give you another baby.”

“Oh my goodness, Harry.” You stand up and wrap your arms around him. “Have I been making you feel that way?”

“Yes.” He mumbles.

“I’m so sorry. I’m not sure what it’s been lately, I feel like my sex drive has just really come back in full swing. I mean, I want this baby, but I also just…want you. We’ve been getting interrupted less. I feel like we both have been able to figure out the good times of day to be intimate. I do just want you because I want you. I’m sorry if you’ve been feeling…used.”

“So…you really just wanted to take a shower with me?”

“I thought it would be some nice alone time, but if you want some time to yourself, that’s fine too.”

“No, let’s go in together. I want to now.” You smile and kiss each other before going into the bathroom.

You take your clothes off as Harry gets the water going. You both step in and sigh once the warm water hits your skin. You take turns washing each other, and then he pulls you close to him to kiss you. He backs you up to the wall and pushes you against it. His tongue felt so good against yours and you loved the way his hands were gripping your cheeks. He reaches between your legs to finger you.

“Jesus.” He groans. “So fucking we-“ He looks down as he pulls his fingers out. “Um…love?” He holds his fingers up and you frown when you see the all too familiar reddish color.

“Sorry.” You slip away from him to finish rinsing off.

“Babe, we can still…”

You turn to look at him with tears in your eyes. He pulls you in close and lets you cry into him. This was always the worst part of trying. He kisses your cheek and you look up at him.

“Sorry, um, I can just suck you off or-“

“If you’re not in the mood now, it’s okay.”

“No, we just talked about this not being about making a baby, so-“

“You’re getting upset. You got period, and that sucks, but maybe next month you won’t. We only just started trying again, Y/N. It’s gonna take some time.”

“Right.” You nod. “We should get out in case Jack needs something.”

Harry nods and turns the water off. You get yourself situated and dressed and crawl into bed with Harry. As if on cue, Jack comes walking in with his thumb in his mouth, and his blanky in his other arm. Buster follows as well and plops on the floor.

“C’mere, darling.” You say to Jack. He crawls up on the bed and gets between you and Harry. You put your arm around him and hold him close to you. “Poor thing, Mumma’s gonna stay home with you tomorrow and we can snuggle all day if you want.”

“Really?”

“Mhm, anything you want.” You kiss the top of his head as he closes his eyes. Harry was on his side looking up at you. “What?”

“I get it now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why you always get so…in the mood when you see me with them. You’re such a good mum, makes me wanna make more too.” He smiles.

“And you’re the best dad.” He leans up to kiss you goodnight, and then he turns the light off.

//

It took Jack a few days to feel better, but once he did he was back to his old self. Jessica caught a small fever herself, but she was fine. You were just happy that neither you nor Harry got sick. The second your period ended, it was on.

Jack and Jessica would be having a cousins sleepover at Erica’s after Thanksgiving dinner, and you may or may not have been excited to have the house all to yourselves for the night.

“Do you think Michael will have fun with so many little ones?” Harry asks on the drive home.

“Oh, sure. He likes being the big cousin. I still can’t believe Erica even offered it up.”

“Her and Mike can handle it. I think she was excited to snuggle up with Jessica.”

“I feel terrible she couldn’t have more…she always says I keep having them for her.” You laugh. “My Nannie used to say the same thing to my mom.”

“Speaking of Nannie…I was thinking for your spring break we could take a little family trip and go see her.”

“Are you serious?!”

“Yeah. She’s only seen Jessica once, it would be nice for her to spend some time with them. Plus, she always comes here. Florida’s beautiful in March.”

“You don’t need to convince me. We can start looking at flights soon. The kids are gonna be so well traveled when they get older. Once they get a lot older when we take them to the U.K. we could start taking them to some other countries.”

“That would be fun. It’s so easy to just take day trips and what not. They’ll be nice and well-rounded.”

“But I don’t want them to be spoiled. Gotta keep them humble.”

“Gem’ll keep them knocked down a peg, she’s really good at that.” He chuckles.

You both get into the house and kick your shoes off. Harry scoops you up and carries you up to the bedroom. Once he sets you down, you’re being pressed up against the wall harshly.

“You’re not too full or tired?” You ask between kisses.

“Nope, are you?”

“Nope.” You grin.

His lips find yours as you wrap your arms around his neck. You tug at the curls on the nape of his neck. This was very exciting. You could be as loud as you wanted, hell, you could leave the door open if you really felt like it. His hands were all over you, groping you wherever he felt like it. He fiddles with the zipper on the back of your dress, but finally gets it unzipped.

“Want you.” He mumbles into your neck as he sucks on your skin. You giggle on him.

“Really? I had no idea.”

“Don’t be cute.”

Your dress falls to the floor. You help him get his clothes off too. You’re just in your underwear as he hoists you up, bringing you over to the bed. He didn’t want his lips to leave you at all. He nipped where he felt like it, leaving behind little marks. He gets your bra and underwear off, and soon his fingers are rubbing around your folds.

“You obviously want me too.” He smirks, holding up his now slick and sticky fingers. He sucks them into his mouth before pressing them inside you.

You groan as you feel him curl them up. His thumb rubs circles into your clit as he pumps in and out of you. He sucks one of your nipples into his mouth but you tug his head up.

“I’m still making milk!”

“So?! S’not like I’m fucking sucking on it to grab a quick drink. You pumped before we left, you should be good.”

“It’s just weird…some could come out.”

“You really think I of all people give a fuck?” It was true, Harry didn’t care about anything of the things you thought would be gross for a guy, like hair and periods. 

“Fine, but if you taste anything you have to come off.”

“Deal.”

He goes back to sucking on you, more so just swirling his tongue around your pebbled nipple. He kneads the other one with his free hand has he continues to finger you. You tug at the blankets as your body begins to feel hot all over.

“Oh my god.” You moan. “Harry.”

“Gonna come?”

“Yes, fuck, oh shit!”

He works you through it until you can’t take it anymore. It felt so good to just let your little cry out instead of having to bite it back. He retracts his fingers and sucks on them again.

“Look at you.” He strokes your face. “So flushed.” He smiles. “Was that a good one?”

“Very good.” You giggle.

“So beautiful, my sweet angel.” He leans in to kiss you. “My amazing wife.” He kisses you again. “Love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

He adjusts himself so his tip his playing with your clit. You grit your teeth as he pushes inside you. Your nails scratch down his back, causing goosebumps to raise on his skin. He rocks in and out of you as his tongue finds yours. He just couldn’t get enough of your mouth tonight.

“Have you been, ngh, using a new lip balm or something?” He asks as he runs his thumb over your bottom lip. “So soft.” He leans in and bites down on your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth before letting it go.

“I exfoliated them with, shit, this, ugh Harry, I’ll tell you later.”

He chuckles as his thrusts quicken. You wrap your legs around him to pull him closer. His hands find yours and he pins them to the sides of your head, fingers intertwined.

“You feel so fucking good, babe.” He grunts.

Your heart’s racing as his tip starts to brush against your g-spot. Your head rolls back into the pillows, and he kisses on the now exposed part of your neck.

“Harry.” You moan.

“Say it louder.” He says into your ear.

“Harry!”

“Again.”

“Harry! Oh fuck!”

You come undone just as he’s coming inside you. You felt like you were swimming. You raise your hips to meet his over and over to really ride it out. He pulls out of you slowly and rests beside you. He pulls you close and kisses your hairline. It was quick, but so good. You imagine it wouldn’t be the only time you’d be making love tonight, and you were right. He was inside you again before you knew it.

//

Jack was finally old enough to understand Hanukkah a little more, and it was the cutest thing in the world. You had a menorah on the kitchen table, and a very small tree in the living room. Your home was decorated with snow men, and other winter scene things.

“Look at this little kippah Nannie sent him. His name is on the inside, so cute.” You show Harry as you get some gifts together.

“He’ll love it.”

“He’ll probably ask why Daddy doesn’t wear one.” You giggle.

“I’ve worn one at more of the formal events.” He defends himself.

“Very true.”

“Mumma! Is it time to light the candles?!”

“Look outside and tell me if it’s sundown.” You chuckle and shake your head as he pouts at you. “Got about an hour, baby doll.”

“Will we get to do it at Grammy’s?”

“Of course we will.” Harry says as he picks his son up. “Grammy has lots of menorahs for us. Are you excited to go on the plane in a couple of days?”

“Yes.” He smiles. “I told Jessica it’s not scary.”

“Well, that was very nice of you.” You kiss Jack’s cheek as you go to pick your daughter up. She’d been crawling on the floor. “Come on, darling, you can stand up.”

“I wonder if she’ll babble a bunch on the plane. I always feel bad for the people around us.”

“Oh well.” You shrug. “Babies make noise.”

An hour or so later, everyone gathers around the menorah. Harry holds up Jack so he can watch you like the two candles and he mumbles along the prayer as you chant it. You were happy he thought it was so much fun.

“Can we have latkes?” He nearly whines.

“We’re going to make them at Grammy’s.” You tell him. “We can stink up her house.” You laugh.

//

You were incredibly nauseous on the plane. It was rare for you to not feel well with how often you travel this way. You tried to just keep your eyes closed, and focus on your music, but it was difficult with Jessica in your arms, and Jack complaining that he wanted to cuddle with you too.

“Let Mummy rest, Jack, you can sleep with me.” Harry says, lifting the armrest between them. “Come here.” He puts his arm around Jack and holds him close.

“Why does Jessica always get Mumma?” He pouts.

“She doesn’t, Mummy and I take turns with her just like we do with you. Mummy might have to feed her quick, so it’s easier for her to hold her right now. What’s wrong? Don’t wanna snuggle with Daddy?” Harry pouts at Jack and it makes him giggle.

“You’re silly, Daddy.”

“Course I am, Daddy’s are supposed to be silly.”

Harry catches you smiling with your eyes closed, and it makes him smile more. Jack settles into Harry, and then he slowly drifts off. You reach your free hand out for Harry’s, and you’re able to hold hands. Sometimes you missed when it was just the two of you so you could cuddle on these long flights, but you also loved what you had now.

Once you’ve landed, you had to rush to a bathroom. Harry was a bit frantic since Jessica would definitely need to be changed. He hated changing her in the men’s bathrooms because they often didn’t have changing tables. Normally you would take the kids in with you to get them in fresh clothes, but you were so nauseous. You get into a stall and throw up.

“Please, fuck, don’t tell me I have the flu.” You say to yourself as you wipe your mouth. You get up and go out to the sink to brush your teeth. You come back out and wait for Harry.

“Are you alright?” He asks as he hands Jessica over to you.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel one hundred percent.” You didn’t want to say you got sick so Jack wouldn’t be scared. “Jack, hold my hand, baby.”

Harry gets all the luggage, and you both make your way to your rental car, which was a minivan this time around. You get the car seats settled, and get the kids strapped in. Harry holds your hand as he drives to Anne’s.

“I’m sure mum has some pepto you can take. You were nauseous right?”

“Yeah, usually I’m fine, it’s so weird.” You shrug. “I can always go to the drug store if need be. I feel better now.”

Anne was delighted to see her grandbabies. Jack attacked her with hugs and kisses, and Jessica babbled on to her.

“She can sort of walk now, Mum, look.” Harry helps Jessica stand, and she toddles over to Anne’s legs.

“Oh my goodness, growing up so fast! Wait until Auntie Gem sees you! Come in, you must be tired.”

Anne had lunch ready to go for everyone like she usually did. You felt hungry now, but as soon as you sat down you felt nauseous again.  

“I’m so sorry, I think I need to lay down for a bit.”

Harry stands up but you put your hand on his shoulder.

“Stay here with everyone, I’m fine.” You smile and go upstairs. You lay down on the soft bed and fall asleep immediately. Why were you so tired? Later, you’re woken up to the sound of Gemma’s voice.

“Y/N?” She whispers.

“Hm?” You sit up. “Oh, hi Auntie.”

“Hi, Mummy.” She smiles and sits on the edge of the bed. “Harry said you weren’t feeling well.”

“I think I’m coming down with something.” You frown. “I spewed at the airport.”

“Interesting.” She smirks, and tosses you a pregnancy test. “Need to pee?”

“Did he tell you to get this?” You chuckle.

“No, but when he texted saying you didn’t feel great I figured…”

“I suppose it would make sense.” You think for a moment and look at the period tracker on your phone. “I haven’t gotten my December period yet.” You furrow your brows.

“When was the last time you two…”

“Um.” You blush. “Well…I mean…”

“Right, right.” She blushes as well. “Think you two are the only married couple with kids that actually make time for that.”

“I do need to pee…I feel bad, usually he wants to be in on it, but how cute would it be if I am, and then I give this to him on Christmas?”

“It would be very cute! Go on, take a wee.”

You go into the bathroom and take the test. The two of you sit in the bedroom until the three minutes is up. You gasp as tears form in your eyes.

“Congratulations.” She says, hugging you.

“Can you hide this in your room? I have a really fun idea for how to give it to him.”

“Of course!” She wipes some tears away. “This is amazing.”

Christmas was wonderful, and it wrapped up Hanukkah perfectly. Jack got to have his latkes. You couldn’t wait to give Harry his surprise. That evening as you were settling in for dessert and pj’s, you grab Jack before he sits with his new toys.

“Honey, I have one more gift for Daddy, could you give it to him for me please?”

“Yes, Mumma.” He beams, excited he’s been given a task. You hand him the small box Gemma had picked up for you, and watch as he goes over to Harry, who was sitting with a cup of tea on the couch while Gemma held Jessica. Anne was sitting on the floor setting up one of Jack’s toys. “Excuse me, Daddy.”

“My polite little boy.” Harry coos. “Yes?”

“This is from Mumma.” Jack hands Harry the small box. Harry looks over at you and you gesture to open it. “Hmm…” He shakes the box and hears some rattling. “What else could Mum have gotten me?” Harry genuinely had no idea what else you could have bought for him, but he was excited nonetheless. Gemma props her phone up to record his reaction. He opens the box and his mouth falls open. He looks at you immediately, who was biting back a smile and tears. “Are you serious?” His voice cracks as he smiles.

“Mhm.”

“Oh my goodness.” He chuckles and stands up to walk over to you. You wrap your arms around each other. “When did you find out?”

“Took it the other day. I have no idea how far along I am, could only be four weeks. I’ll go to the doctor when we get back later in January.”

He cups your cheeks and kisses you.

“Wait…” Anne snatches the box and sees the pregnancy test. “You’re?!”

“Yes.” You giggle. She stands up and gives you a hug.

“What’s going on?” Jack asks.

“Well.” You rub your lower tummy. “I got something growing in here.”

“Another baby?!”

“You bet.”

Jack rushes over to you and gives you a big hug.

“You’re excited?!”

“Yeah! Jessica needs someone to play with too. She’ll be a big sister, and I’ll be a big brother again.”

“He’s smart.” Harry laughs. “You’re the best brig brother there is.” He kisses you again. “Wow, a third baby.”

“And then you’re done, right?” Anne asks. “I love grandkids, but you two wanna be smart about this.”

“Once I know this one’s gonna stick, he’s getting snipped.” You say.

“Oi, I still haven’t agreed to that.”

“Harry.” His mother says. “You’ll do it, and not put up a fuss about it.”

Later that night, as the four of you settle into bed, yes the four of just slept in the same bed while at Anne’s, Harry was beaming at you. You had put Jack and Jessica on one side of the bed for a bit so you and Harry could cuddle.

“Stop looking at me like that.” You whisper.

“Can’t help it, you’re just so beautiful.” He puts his hand on your lower stomach. “Got another one in you, can’t believe it. Do you think it was Thanksgiving?”

“Could have been.” You giggle. “Does this mean you’ll go back to eating me out? Really been missing that.”

“Honey, I promise once Dr. Johnson really tells you you’re pregnant, I’ll go down on you for hours.”

“That sounds nice.”

He leans down to kiss you.

“I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

[samwinchestersgf]

obsession (part three)

prompt: “oh my god! he’s obsessed with you!”

warnings: horror, gore, obsessive weirdo, protective sam. language. nothing worse than what’s in the show, but still unsettling

read part one (here) and part two (here)

another cold slice of the blade makes me thrash in my seat. i could give up. i could give him what he wants, but that wouldn’t end the pain. besides, external pain in easier to deal with than internal pain.

my head slumps and my chin is almost touching my chest. bryan tilts my chin up with the knife. “you can always just tell me you love me, not sam. this can all stop.”

“it seems like you’re enjoying this too much. i’ll pass.” i glare.

i cry out as he cuts through my jeans for the fourth time. he yells, “say it!”

“go to hell!” i yell back.

he lowers himself, so that he’s eye level to me. “darling, it’s been a day. sam isn’t coming. so, you can either keep wasting both of our time, or admit that you love me.”

“i’m not a liar.” my voice is pure venom.

he grabs me by my cheek. “so say you love me.”

i spit at him. he wipes the spit off of his cheek and walks away, his hands behind his head. “i don’t know what to do with you.”

“you could let me go.” i propose.

“and have to go to the police, no way.” he scoffs.

“you’re really amateur at this.” i remark.

“i’ve never fucking kidnapped someone before.” he pauses. “i’ve never felt this way about someone before.”

i look at him pensively. “i don’t know if you know this or not, but this is not normal.”

“being in love in normal,” he argues.

“it’s beyond that, now. you’re not in love with me; you’re obsessed with me.” i correct.

“is there really that big of a difference?” he rolls his eyes.

“huge difference.” i laugh.

he pulls up a chair. “teach me.”

“teach you?” i raise an eyebrow.

“teach me the difference.” he demands again, sitting down.

“well, first of all, when you love someone, you don’t speak to them like that.” i start, deciding to play along. “because you’d never hurt them on purpose, even if it was for their own good.”

“you’re making things up,” he scoffs.

“i’m not. when you love someone, it hurts you to see them in pain. so, if you love someone, you learn to let them go.” i tell him.

i remember back to the time i had to let someone go. sam liked this other girl, and even though it killed me, i stayed quiet. sure, it was partially because i didn’t have the nerve to do anything else, but even if i did, i wouldn’t have. he was happy. i consider telling bryan this story, but it would only make him mad.

“what does being in love feel like?” he asks.

“calm.” i answer. “you can still get butterflies, but being in love with someone means you’re comfortable enough around them to be yourself.”

bryan raises an eyebrow, “are you in love with sam?”

i laugh darkly. i feel my mental walls breaking. it’s been a day. it’s dark, and cold, and dusty. warm, red liquid is everywhere, and i taste copper. i don’t have the energy to keep fighting.

“sam isnt even my boyfriend.” i blurt. “we’re not in love yet, but i love him.”

“you lied?” he stands up.

“yes, i fucking lied. i’m stupid enough to get into a stranger’s car, but i’m not stupid enough to let him think i’m single.” i laugh again.

he cuts my hand. “that’s for lying.”

“cut my tongue out.” i roll my eyes.

“that’s disgusting.” he drops the knife and walks away.

“what? am i too much for you now?” i call out.

“yes! you’re too fucking much for me right now.” he blows up. “it wasn’t supposed to be like this!”

“love isn’t all roses, bryan.” his name is like belladonna.

“well, it’s gonna be. you’re gonna crack, okay?” he yells.

“can you put up with me that long? i can be more annoying, just wait.” i match his volume.

“i don’t know! will you shut up?” he rubs his temples.

i hum, “you don’t love me.”

he marches over and grabs my face roughly, slamming his lips against mine in the most unpleasant way. i stay still, not breathing, not blinking, not moving, until he pulls away. it doesn’t feel anywhere near the feeling i had when sam kissed me.

“why won’t you kiss me?” he looks offended.

“you fucking cut me.” i scoff.

he pinches his nose. “i’m not patient enough for this.”

“let me go?”

“or i could just leave.”

“further proving my point that you don’t actually love me.” i call out to him.

“i do love you, and i always will. i want you stop saying i don’t, because you don’t know how i’m feeling.” he blows up again.

i shake my head. i can’t even respond to him anymore. i’m tired, and cold. i’m starting lose hope. i’m starting to lose faith in sam.

he picks up the knife again, sighing. he lazily runs in across my left cheek, making the two gashes that are already there sting even more.

suddenly, i can hear sirens. i lift my head up and look at bryan. “think they’re coming here?”

“you better hope they aren’t.” he knicks my jaw.

the sirens grow closer and closer, until it’s evident that they’re right outside. bryan freezes, dropping the knife. he looks around, frantic. there’s a door behind me, but he’s not that stupid. he knows they’ll catch him.

“what are you gonna do, buddy?” i ask, smug.

“shut up!” he shouts, “i can’t think!”

the door is kicked down. a swarm of police officers walk in, catching bryan red handed. “hands up!”

he throws his hands up. “i can explain.”

“step away from the girl!” the police officers shout.

i let myself relax a little bit, until bryan speaks. “i was just coming in here to save her.”

“is that true, ma’am?” they ask.

“no.” i say coldly.

the police whisk him away, and emergency responders rush in, untying me and helping me outside. the bright sun outside makes my eyes sting and water. in the corner of my eye, i see sam stand up and get out of his car. they walk me over to him.

“do you think we need to take her to the hospital, mr. winchester? she’s not in any medical danger.” one emergency responder asks.

“i’ve got her, thank you.” he nods. he slips his arm under my shoulders and helps me into the passenger seat of his car.

he doesn’t speak until the door is shut. his voice is tender, and quiet. “what did he do to you?”

i can’t even look at him. “nothing too bad.”

“you’re exactly like dean...” he shakes his head, huffing gently. i want to respond, but i don’t know what i’d say.

“i’m-“

“don’t say your sorry.” he stops me. “just stop.”

i shake my head and sigh. the buzzing of the engine and the low hum of the radio lures me dangerously close to falling asleep. my body dares me to try to stay awake, but i decline. i let my body have what it wants. i sleep.

—————————————

“ah... damnit.” i hiss, eyes still closed.

“i was hoping you’d stay asleep for this part.” sam remarks quietly.

“i’m fine, i’m fine.” i open my eyes and look down at him. he’s cleaning the cuts on my legs with alcohol, and damn, it hurts. “we... we obviously need to have a conversation.”

“do you really want to do that now?” he raises an eyebrow, not pausing.

“might as well rip off both bandaids at once.” i joke. “go ahead, yell.”

“i’m not gonna yell.” he states calmly.

“you want to.” i insist.

“i don’t want to yell,” he restates. “are you gonna listen if i don’t?”

“i’ll listen.” i nod quietly, taking a sharp inhale when he starts cleaning the next wound.

“i care about you, so, so much. i thought you understood that.” he doesn’t look at me yet. i remember two nights ago when he kissed me.

“i understand it, sam.” i respond.

“then, why would you go out and do something reckless like that? do you have any idea how terrified i was all day?” his voice breaks. “i tracked your phone to his house, and i tracked it to that abandonded place, and the whole time, i was terrified.”

“i’m sorry, sam.” my chest drops.

“why did you do it?” he asks, bandages a cut.

“i wanted to let him know that i wasn’t gonna talk to him anymore,” i swallow.

“you couldn’t have texted him? or, waited for me get home? or, hell, at least have told me where you were going?” he questions.

“i wasn’t thinking,” i admit.

“i know that,” he sighs and finally looks up at me. “i’m not even mad.”

“it would be easier if you were,” my voice breaks in sync with my heart when i see his eyes. his expression is hard, but there’s a hint of softness and worry that makes me want to crumble.

“i already have someone in my life that is stupidly brave, y/n.” he drops his cleaning supplies and grabs my hand.

i squeeze his hand ever so slightly. “yeah?”

“i... i don’t want you to be that person. i want you to be cautious.” he rubs my hand with his thumb.

“that’s just not me.” i swallow.

“i don’t wanna lose you. i just got you; i can’t lose you.” he reiterates.

i sit all the way up. i hesitate, my eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips, and in one swift motion, i close the distance. despite the butterflies in my stomach, i’m calm. i pull back quietly, letting out a slow breath.

he doesn’t say a word. we both already know what he’s thinking. he’s extra gentle when he resumes cleaning my wound. when he’s finished, he just looks at me for a second, and then gets up to go put the supplies away.

nerves course through my. i clear my throat and call out. “sam?”

he turns around. “hm?”

“don’t leave me.” i shake.

he walks back over and wraps me in a tight hug, kissing my forehead. “i won’t.”

—————————————

thank you guys sooo much for the overwhelming support on this series! if you like what you see, you could go ahead and follow me ;)

here’s my tag list for this series!@patrickfluegers @vicmc624 @vampire7595 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @eternal-maniac

[iamtrebleclefstories]

help, ‘cause I need saving - part two

six times Jo and Alex saved each other from horrible dates and the one time they didn’t

a two-shot fic taking place in a Season 9 alternate universe

if you haven’t read part one, you can read it here => six times

"You look mopey-er than normal," Cristina commented as she walked into the house. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing," Alex frowned and took a swig of his beer.

"Where's the hairball? I normally would've seen her by now but I haven't seen her in the past few days," Cristina watched as Alex sat on the couch in silence. "So that's what's got you all depressed. What happened? Did she realize that you're a jerk and stop hanging out with you?"

"I kissed her."

"What?" Cristina raised her eyebrows.

"I kissed her," Alex repeated. "Or maybe she kissed me. I don't know. All I know is that she has been avoiding me for the past five days since it happened."

“Crap,” Cristina sat down on the couch next to him. “Well, was it bad?”

“No it wasn’t bad,” Alex shook his head. “At least, not for me it wasn’t. I—I’m just… such an idiot. I love her.”

Cristina stared at him in mild shock that he had actually said the words, “Woah.”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t want me. If she did, she would’ve realized that I was trying to ask her to go out with me for drinks that night she decided to go out with that douche Peckwell.”

“Wow, you really are an idiot,” Alex glared as Cristina rolled her eyes. “You two are drinking buddies, friends, joined at the hip. All you ever do together is drink beer and hang out. Of course she’s not going to realize that you were asking her to go on a date with you. It’s what you always do together anyway. You may not realize it, but you’ve been unofficially dating each other for the past few months without knowing it.”

“Well it doesn’t really matter now. Whatever we had going on is over,” Alex huffed in frustration. “I always screw myself out of everything good.”

“How are you going to know it’s over if you haven’t even talked to her about it, dumbass?” Cristina swatted him on the side of his head. “Put on your big girl panties and just talk to her.”

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I’m her boss,” Alex made a weak excuse.

“That’s a load of crap and you know it,” Cristina sighed. “Whatever, you can wallow in your pit of sorrow by yourself. I’m going to get ready because Owen’s coming over.”

+++

He should’ve known that things wouldn’t end there. Cristina was persistent, and although she claimed not to care, she was deeply invested in her friends’ lives and did her best to help them when she could. It was a side of Yang that very few people rarely got to see and being one of her oldest friends, Alex was one of them. And since he was one of her oldest friends, Cristina had also enlisted Meredith for help.

“Come on, don’t be like that. It’s a date, at a nice restaurant with great booze. It won’t be the end of the world if you go,” Cristina brought up the subject as they were getting ready for rounds a few days later.

“Look, I get what you’re trying to do here, but I’m just not ready for that. I don’t want to go on a date with somebody else,” Alex shrugged his arms through his white coat. "And this time I won't have anyone to get me out of it when it inevitably goes bad."

"I'll get you out of it," Cristina offered. "Yeah, I'll have my phone with me and fake page you for an emergency if it goes horribly."

"Really?" Alex raised his eyebrow. "You actually are trying to help me? You're not trying to embarass me or anything like that?"

"Now that would just be cruel. I wouldn't kick you while you're down," she rolled her eyes. "Just go on the damn date. I promise, I think you'll enjoy it."

"Fine," Alex huffed in annoyance. "I'll go. But if I hate it,You owe me the money I spent on the date."

"Yeah, yeah," Cristina waved her hand as she walked away. Cristina rounded the corner and ran into the person she'd been looking for.

"Dr.Yang!"

"Edwards," Cristina placed her hands on her hips and looked at the intern expectantly. "Well, did you do it?"

"Yup," Stephanie nodded enthusiastically. " It took some time to convince her because she is still hung up over Karev, but I promised her that I'd save her if her mystery date went horribly."

"I had to do the same thing with Alex," Cristina chuckled. "Okay, I am going to go tell Meredith to make sure that she lets Wilson leave early. And because you spied on your friend and helped me out, you get to scrub in on my aortic valve surgery. Go prep her for surgery now”

“Thank you Dr. Yang!” Stephanie grinned. “I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”

Cristina sighed and made her way to the lounge where Meredith was eating a snack, “Mer!”

“Dammit Cristina, you made me drop my cookie on the floor,” Meredith glared at her friend.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Cristina sat across from her. “You have Wilson on your service today, right?”

“Yeah,” Meredith huffed and ran a hand over her belly.

“Okay so you remember how I talked to you about getting Alex and Wilson together?”

“Mmhmm,” Meredith hummed and continued to eat her snack. “I thought it was a good idea and helped you pick the place for the date. What about it?”

“Well, it’s happening tonight, so I need you to make sure that the hairball makes it there in time,” Cristina reached over to grab a bite out of Meredith’s food only to get her hand slapped away.

“Get your own food,” Meredith grumbled. “But yes, I can do that. Maybe I’ll even let her out early so she can get dressed up.”

“Great, I’m going to go do surgery,” Cristina stood up and made her way towards the door.

“If those two get married and we’re not in the wedding, Alex will never hear the end of it,” Meredith shouted at a snickering Cristina as she walked away.

+++

Jo didn’t want to be there. The last thing she wanted was to be on another meaningless date with some guy she didn’t care about at some restaurant she’d mentioned trying out one day to Alex. When she heard she was on Medusa’s service today, she’d hoped that Grey would pile on the scut so that she’d be forced to cancel. But to her surprise—and disdain—Grey let her leave early. So, she begrudgingly changed out of her scrubs and into the outfit that Stephanie had laid out for her and drove to the restaurant.

Everything within her was screaming to make a run for it and ditch the guy so that Steph would never bother her about finding a date again, but as someone who’d just screwed things up so badly with the one person she’d only ever really wanted to date, Jo decided it may have been best to put the horrendous experience behind her. That was becoming increasingly difficult, however, as the days she’d spent apart from Alex only led to feeling his absence that much stronger.

So despite the overwhelming desire to go home and watch scary movies in her favorite pair of sweatpants, Jo got out the car and walked over to the entrance of the restaurant. She sighed as she told the host that she was looking for a reservation under the name Edwards.

“Ah yes, the Edwards-Yang table. Right this way,” the hostess smiled at Jo. “Your date is already here. He’s really handsome and seemed nice enough. I hope it goes well.”

Jo nodded half distracted as she allowed the young woman to guide her to the table where she’d have to endure another date. Jo stopped suddenly, not noticing that the hostess had paused and was pointing to a table with a man seated with his back towards them.

“That’s him. Good luck!” The hostess chirped and turned around to leave them alone.

Taking a deep breath, Jo readied herself and walked up to the table. She moved to stand in front of the man who she was supposed to be courting that evening and gasped, “Alex?”

“Jo?”

Jo gaped at him for a few moments, “You—what are you doing here?”

“Yang set it up, she said she was setting me up on a date tonight,” Alex answered quietly, still unsure of what was going on. “She told me I needed to get over—never mind. What are you doing here?”

“Stephanie told me the same thing,” Jo stared at him curiously. “Oh my God. We’ve been set up. They set us up.”=”

Alex snorted a laugh, “You’re kidding right? This is Yang we’re talking about. She doesn’t do things like these. She doesn’t care enough.”

“Well she obviously does or we both wouldn’t be here,” Jo looked at the empty seat across from Alex in question. “Why else would Grey let me out early instead of keeping me there to monitor her post ops?”

“You can sit down you know,” Alex motioned to the chair. His lips curved up into a slight grin. “I won’t bite.”

Jo rolled her eyes and sat down quietly. The pair stared at each other awkwardly for a moment, fidgeting nervously as neither one of them knew what to say. It was never like this when they were together. Ever since they first started hanging out, there had been an immediate sense of comfortability. They had never needed to feel nervous or afraid when around each other because they just worked. That’s what was making the recent shift in their relationship so difficult. The kiss they’d shared brought up a whole slew of emotions that neither of them really knew how to handle.

Maybe that’s why when they decided to break the tense silence, both of them stumbled on their words.

“So, how was work?” “I haven’t seen you around in a bit.”

“Sorry,” Jo let out a breathy laugh and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

“No, it’s okay. You first,” Alex shook his head and motioned for Jo to continue.

“I, uh… ha,” Jo bounced her leg as she tried to shake the nerves off. “I said, how’s work?”

“Oh it’s uh, it’s good,” Alex shrugged awkwardly. “I got to operate on Hannah Gordon today. I got to remove her colostomy bag.”

“Really? That’s the little girl who was in the accident at school, right? You finally got to operate? That’s fantastic. I wish I could’ve been there to see the look on her face when you told her that she no longer needs a poop bag anymore,” Jo smiled.

“Yeah, she had the biggest grin on her face when I told her that the crap bag was gone and she could go back to school and do gymnastics again in a few months,” Alex mirrored Jo’s grin.

“You see, that’s what I love about peds. There’s a special connection and follow-through that you get with peds patients than you do with adults,” Jo sighed.

“Well, you are always welcome on my service. I know that you have to go through all the specialties, but if you feel like peds is something you might want to do one day, then I’d be more than happy to take you under my wing,” Alex smiled at her softly. “I can be your Robbins.”

“My Robbins, huh?” Jo hummed. “We’ll see. I might have to take you up on that eventually.”

Those comments seemed to have done it, because once Jo and Alex started talking, everything seemed right in the world again. They both relaxed and joked around with each other, making the dinner date that they had both been dreading, enjoyable. The hadn’t noticed how long they’d been in the restaurant talking when they realized that the staff had begun cleaning up all around them.

“Oh wow, it’s ten o’clock already?” Alex wondered out loud as he looked down at his watch.

“For real?” Jo raised an eyebrow and looked over to glance at the time. “Have we been here that long?”

“I guess we have,” Alex chuckled. “I’m surprised they haven’t kicked us out yet.”

“It might be because we haven’t paid yet,” Jo pointed at the check on the edge of the table, waiting for payment.

“Yeah, that might be why,” Alex reached over and grabbed the receipt, stopping Jo’s protest. “I’ve got it. Don’t worry about it.”

“Alex-”

“Dude, chill. It’s not that big of a deal. Besides you’re an intern and you barely make any money. Consider it a gift,” Alex pulled some cash out of his wallet and deposited it on the table and stood up. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

“I had fun tonight,” Alex’s mouth curved into a crooked half-smile. “It was the first date I’ve been on in a long time where I didn’t need to fake an excuse to get out of it.”

Jo laughed lightly, “Same here.”

“So are we gonna talk about it?” Alex asked as they neared the car.

“Talk about what?” Jo shrugged innocently, sighing when she unimpressed look on Alex’s face. “We kissed.”

“We did,” Alex nodded quietly. “Why did you do it? You could’ve come up with plenty of other things to do so that I could help you get away from Peckwell, or whatever the hell his name is. Why did you kiss me?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do know,” Alex buried his hands in his pockets and leaned against her car. “But you’re too afraid to say it.”

“I kissed you because I wanted to,” Jo confessed as she looked down at the ground beneath her. “I still want to, if I’m being completely honest.” Jo looked up at him, heart hammering in her chest as she said the words she’d been wanting to say for so long, “These past few months I’ve been on horrible dates. We’ve each been on horrible dates. And every single time we needed rescuing because for some reason they didn’t work out. So, I spent time thinking back to all those dates and trying to figure out why they went badly and I think I figured it out. I could on a hundred dates with a hundred really nice guys, but I will always need rescuing. They would always go badly and I’d need saving because those guys aren’t you. But with you… I never need saving with you. Because with you, I’m already safe.”

Alex stared at her in wonder. He was quite honestly, speechless. That’s what she did to him. Jo rendered him completely and utterly speechless. He realized he’d been quiet for too long when Jo started rambling nervously about how she should’ve never said anything.

Alex placed his hands gently on her face to bring her attention to him. He looked back and forth between her eyes and her mouth. Leaning in slowly, Alex pressed his lips against hers, bringing her into a sweet kiss.

When they parted, Jo breathed in and out deeply, seemingly in shock of what had just happened. Seeing her dumbstruck expression, Alex chuckled slightly. She really had no idea how he felt about her. Deciding to take a chance, he opened his mouth and said the thing that had been threatening to spill out of his mouth for a few months now.

“Jo, I love you.”

“What?” Jo’s eyes widened at his confession.

“I love you,” Alex repeated, a large smile on his face. “I love you.”

“You love me?” Jo asked shakily. “It’s not all in my head? You’re actually saying those words to me? And you mean them?”

“Mmhmm,” Alex grinned brightly. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for a while now and I want to be with you.”

“Oh,” Jo’s mouth froze in that shape. “Woah.”

Alex leaned in for another kiss, “God I could do this forever.”

“I can think of some other things we could do if we get out of here,” Jo whispered lowly, causing Alex’s eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. “I don’t normally make a habit out of sleeping with guys on the first date, but I think I can make an exception for you.”

“As amazing as that sounds, I think I’m gonna make you wait,” Alex took a step away from Jo.

“You’re gonna make me wait? You. Alex Karev. Are going to make me wait for sex?” Jo’s face displayed her disbelief.

“I am,” a shit-eating grin made its way onto his face.

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope,” Alex’s smile increased tenfold.

“Are you seriously going to make me beg?” Jo narrowed her eyes. “Because I will beg. I have no shame in begging you to take me right here in the parking lot.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Alex groaned. His eyes softened after a moment. “Look, I know I have a… reputation, but I always jumped head first into sex with everyone. You’re not just anyone. You’re Jo and for the first time in my life, I want to do things differently. So, let me take you out a couple more times before you let me in your pants.”

“Well when you put it like that, it makes you sound all sweet and sappy, and me sound like a slut because I want to jump into bed with you,” Jo laughed and let out a breath. “I’ve never had anyone who wanted me for more than my body or that wanted things to be special.”

“I know,” Alex answered simply. “Which is why I am gonna make you wait. I want you, Jo. I love you. And I’m gonna show you that you mean something to me. More than just your body, which let me say…” Alex paused and gave her a once over as he allowed his hand to wander down her spine, causing her to shiver. “Is pretty incredible.”

Jo chuckled softly and kissed him, “Well, whenever you’re ready, it’s all yours.”

“Ugh,” Alex laid his head on her shoulder. “Okay, you need to go home before I pull you into the backseat.”

Jo laughed, “Alright, I’m going.” She unlocked her car and sat down in the driver’s seat, glancing up at Alex to give him a bright smile. “Goodnight.”

Alex’s face softened, “Goodnight.”

[creativeskullcreations]

Buddy’s Problem part 2

Okay! Part two is done! Part three probably isn't gonna be until after the New Year, though, but it should be the final part.

Enjoy the story, and have a Merry Christmas! :D

As it turned out, being a campaign manager was pretty difficult, especially when Buddy had to travel to a whole different town for it. Filbo lived in a small farming town called Kinsing. Several other members of the expedition lived there too, though Wiggle, Gramble, and Cromdo lived in Gippsenburg. Either way, apparently Filbo wasn't very well known, having moved to Kinsing recently.

That was useful, and Buddy could totally work with that.

First was getting him nominated, which was easy as anyone could throw their name in. Filbo actually did that himself, though he needed some coaxing from Buddy to actually put it into the box. They then went out for burgers(not Bungers, thankfully) afterwards. They were joined by Beffica, who was shocked that Filbo was running for a real political position.

"Like, seriously? That's awesome you squeeb!" She gave him a soft punch to the arm, which he winced at. She didn't notice, or maybe just ignored it. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"Well, I mean, I ended up doing pretty good back at Snax- on Snaktooth, so I figured I might as well try for the real thing." He told her, rubbing the soon-to-be-bruise. "Worst thing that could happen is I'll lose to Robbzoni."

"Ugh, Robbzoni. He's the worst." She helped herself to Buddy's fries, even as he tried to yank the plate away from her. "He's the real reason we don't have anymore flowers by the roads. He kept stealing them, so eventually the town stopped replacing them."

"How the grump did you find that out, Beff?" Buddy asked before shoving the whole handful of remaining fries into his mouth. She just shrugged and went for Filbo's plate instead.

"I snooped, Bestie. Just like I always do. Did." She corrected herself quickly, looking away. "I, uh, used to do that."

"So..." Buddy searched for a new topic. "What do you do now, anyways?"

"Oh, I got hired as a reporter at CGN. It's a bit of a commute, but not so bad." She shrugged. "And my coworkers aren't so bad, either."

Ah, the rival for GNN. Buddy remembered all the fights that had broken out between reporters at events. He also remembered the time he raided their office with some of his coworkers and stole all of their paperclips. It was in retaliation for them stealing all the rubber-bands at GNN. Which was to get back at them for stealing all of CGN's staples.

Good times.

"Here." He dug out a bottle of pepper-spray and handed it to the shorter Grumpus. "You'll need this."

"Uh." She looked between him and the large canister. "... Thanks. I think."

"No problem." He took a long drag on his soda as the conversation drifted away from him. Which was just fine, as he was busy brainstorming anyways, writing down plans and ideas into his journal. So far he didn't have a lot, but he'd talk to Filbo about it later and see what they could do.

Maybe a party? Filbo always seemed to like them, back on Snaktooth, so maybe that would be a good way to win him some votes.

The rest of the time passed by in a blur. Events were held, debates, parties, even a couple of bake sales that reminded Buddy of his school days. Speeches were made, each carefully crafted to have the best effect on the small populace of the town.

Wambus was actually a big help with that. As a farmer himself, he knew what to say to get and keep the farmers on Filbo's side. So they ended up conferring with him a lot, which meant going to his and Triffany's house a lot.

He was a surprisingly good cook, honestly. The meals they shared there were some of the best Buddy ever ate. He really would miss those nights when everything was done here, but that was no reason not to continue the "quest" for Filbo.

It was one such night, where Wambus had grilled some delicious steaks and corn on the cobs. He also had some homegrown sauces that he'd brought from Snaktooth, which made Buddy a little uneasy. But, the older farmer seemed to know what he was doing with that so he let it go for now.

"You seem to be getting pretty popular, dear." Triffany was saying to Filbo as Buddy doodled in his journal. He flipped it around to show Wambus his idea of a steak-based Bugsnax, only for the farmer to just grunt in acknowledgement. That was good enough for him though and he put the book aside to eat some more.

"Heh, yeah." Filbo rolled his corn on the cob in some butter. "It's all thanks to Buddy, though. He's doing great on the whole 'campaign manager' thing."

"It's not that hard." Buddy shrugged. "Not like you're running for Minister of the Public or something. It's just a few events to plan, and, like, two debates."

"True, but it still seems like a lot of work." Filbo actually looked kind of concerned, but Buddy waved it off.

"It's... it's really not." He told them, even though it kind of was. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a full night's sleep, but it was definitely before Snaktooth.

"It would be tiring to be around all those people all the time." Wambus agreed. "I could never do that."

"Of course not, dear." Triffany agreed. "That's why you're a farmer."

"Yep."

Buddy watched the exchange with a small smile as Filbo took over the conversation, asking after the sauce crops. Whatever problems the couple had, he was glad they were working them out. He didn't want to even think about what would've happened if their marriage had broken up like...

Well, it wasn't good to dwell on it.

Wambus was right though; it was tiring being a campaign manager. He was almost glad the elections were ending soon, if only so he could get some more sleep. And then focus on finding a real job, as his savings were starting to run a little dry.

Still, as he watched his three companions, he felt content with how it was shaping up. Filbo was excitedly explaining all his plans for being Mayor, from replanting the flowers around the walking paths to finally getting the pot holes fixed. He even started explaining his plans to renovate the park in detail before Wambus finally reminded him to actually eat his steak.

"Oh, heh. Right." He cut a piece off, then opened his mouth to keep talking. Buddy took the opportunity to grab his wrist and shove the fork into his mouth.

"Eat it." He told him firmly, to quiet giggling from Triffany. Filbo shot him a glare, but obeyed, chewing quietly. Buddy then grabbed a forkful of his own steak to chew on, ignoring Triffany's pointed look.

The rest of the night passed without incident. In Buddy's opinion, it ended too soon. But then, it always did. And soon enough Buddy was back at his table in his apartment, drawing up more plans for the campaign. Luckily, the people seemed to really like Filbo. Or maybe they just hated Robbzoni that much more. Either way, according to the mid election survey Filbo was looking to be the popular candidate.

Still, he couldn't relax yet, there was still too much to do. The election itself was tomorrow. People would vote in the morning and the results would be announced both that afternoon, and in the next morning's paper. There would be one last speech before the vote though, and Buddy wanted to make sure it was perfect.

However as the time got later, and he had started the speech pretty later anyways, he found himself unwillingly drawn into sleep. Even as he tried to fight it off with copious amounts of caffeine, he inevitably passed out.

When he woke up, it was to Filbo calling him. In a panic, he grabbed his papers and raced out the door, practically flying down the stairs and into his car. He broke several traffic laws, but he managed to get to Kinsing Town Hall just barely on time. As he ran inside, he tried desperately to sort through the garbled mess of a speech he'd written.

He made his way to the backstage area, where Filbo was talking to... someone. Buddy felt like he should know the other Grumpus, but his exhausted mind just refused to make the connection. In any case, as soon as the Grumpus had left he was rushing up to Filbo, rapidly spewing apologies all the way.

"Sorry, sorry! I think I still have some time to, uh, to-to fix this? Maybe?!" His voice rose an octave and he quickly cleared his throat and tried to laugh off the rising panic. "I was up too late I think. Working. On this." He gave another short laugh, internally wincing at how off it sounded.

"Hey hey, it's okay." Filbo had to grab his shoulders, forcing them down from where Buddy had unconsciously hunched into himself. "I've got this one." He told him. Buddy blinked in surprise, hands lowering and almost dropping his papers.

"... You... you 'got' this?" Just what did he mean by that? Was Buddy unneeded? Had he been unneeded this whole time?

"Yeah. Since you've been working so hard lately, I figured I'd just, y'know, handle my own speech for today. " He gave a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry, I probably should've told you sooner-Oh!" He jumped at something the Grumpus on stage was saying. "There's my cue! See ya later!" He gave a quick wave before rushing off to get on stage, oblivious to Buddy's aborted attempt to reach for him.

'He didn't need me...' Quietly, Buddy dropped his speech into the trash. He then went for the snack table they had set up to get some coffee. 'I don't know why I even tried.'

The speeches were said, and then the voting happened. The surprising part, at least to Buddy, was that as they each voted the other members of the expedition would come up to them. A couple offered a "Good luck" or two, but none of them really left afterwards. They all hung around, and talked.

It made Buddy feel even more like he shouldn't have come. Filbo had plenty of people to keep him company for this, he didn't need Buddy Nobody did anymore.

So he sat just a little bit outside of the group, speaking only when someone talked to him directly. Other than that, he just drank his coffee quietly and wondered when would be a good time for him to leave.

It turned out never. The others never forgot about him for long enough for him to be able to slip away. Floofty in particular seemed intent on watching him, and they weren't blinking. He knew this because he straight up had a staring contest with the mad scientist, and they didn't blink once.

Soon enough, voting had closed and the votes were being counted. Poor Filbo was anxious through the whole thing, but never said anything about regretting running for mayor. Buddy was actually kind of proud of him for that, if he was being honest. He knew how hard the light blue Grumpus could be on himself, and he was glad he had gained some confidence at least.

Even if it was just another sign that he wasn't a help to him anymore. That he wasn't a help to anyone here anymore.

But, when they announced that Filbo had won, that he'd done it and beat out longtime Mayor Robbzoni, everyone present cheered. And not just the ones from Snaxburg, either, but everyone else who was hanging around. As everyone congratulated the new Mayor, and the MC announced when the official swearing in ceremony would take place, Buddy gave a quiet sigh into his coffee. Mentally, he ticked this quest as complete, but no new objectives came to mind.

"Hey, Buddy!" He looked up to see Filbo waving at him, and gave a small wave back. "We'll all going to Gramble's place to celebrate. You coming?"

Would he go? No. There wasn't anything for him to do there and besides, he had to get started on job hunting.

"... You guys go on ahead. I'll... I'll catch up with you later." There. Now he could go home and the others could get started on whatever came next for them.

Filbo hesitated a moment, searching Buddy's face intently. Then he shrugged and turned to follow the others. "Well, okay. If you're sure."

And then he was gone, along with the rest. Buddy put down his still full cup and stood up, dusting his fur off. He went to his car, a tiny little red thing that really needed to be traded in, and drove down the road back to Gippsenburg. He had a stop to make before he went home to his apartment, and then maybe he could finally work on forgetting everything.

[the-curious-butterfly]

Mother’s Day

Where Eda gets to experience a human holiday and comes to the realization that she may actually like it. 

While Luz learned early on that the Boiling Isles didn’t share many, or really any, holiday’s with the human realm it still didn’t stop her from being both excited, and a bit sad, when certain days came around. Though the realms also had different days on their calendars she managed to keep up with them using her phone which alerted her that today was a rather special day. 

It was Mother’s Day and at first it had Luz feeling incredibly sad. She had stopped responding to her mother’s texts when summer was finally over, the last message she had left was somewhat a goodbye while also stating she promised she would return home one day. She just couldn’t right now, and safe to say the responses she got were very emotional ones. For a little while her mother still tried to reach her, to understand why. It broke Luz’s heart but she was just a kid who didn’t know how to explain. Her mami deserved more than a “because I’ve been in the demon realm and my only way back has been destroyed until I can find another one.” Plus Camilia definitely wouldn’t believe it. 

Her mother has most likely been thinking the worst. Thinking it was someone else instead of Luz who sent that goodbye message. She desperately wanted to send a “Happy Mother’s Day” but if she did believe someone else had her daughter’s phone that would just make things much worse than it was wouldn’t it. It would sound like the person who took her baby was taunting her. Luz wasn’t gonna do that to her mami. 

But this was one of her favorite holidays, to her there were few things better than showing her mother how much she meant to her so the idea of not celebrating it was very disheartening. Until she remembered that while her mami wasn’t here someone else, who had ended up becoming as much of a mother to her as her own biological one, was. 

Eda was here and Eda has done so much. True she knew nothing of human holidays but surely the witch wouldn’t mind a day of being appreciated. It didn’t seem like that happened a lot around here so Luz made up her mind to make this day as special as she could for her mentor. 

First thing’s first, breakfast in bed. Luz would have to hurry, Eda was in no way a morning person but in an hour or so it wouldn’t be that early anymore. Good thing the staple of a good breakfast, pancakes and bacon (or something that seemed similar to it), didn’t take too long to make. 

She was just getting the ingredients out when King approached her, holding his stuffed rabbit, Francois, in one of his paws. It would surprise people to know that he could fit in the category of morning people but really he was almost always awake whenever something involving food was happening. 

“Ah, making breakfast fit for a king I see.” He yawned and rubbed at his eyes in his adorable fashion. If it weren’t for the time limit Luz would have stopped and cooed at him for at least thirty minutes. But like I said there was no time, so she did it internally while still keeping busy. An incredible feat that she will praise herself on later. 

“Something like that, you can have some after but what’s more important right now is that I make this for Eda so I can take it to her before she wakes up.” 

“Why is that so important?” King half growled half pouted, how was anything more important than him being fed. 

Luz poured the demon realm equivalent of milk into the demon realm equivalent of pancake mix and stirred it with a large wooden spoon before turning to address King.  “Back where I’m from today’s a rather special day, a day of celebration to be exact.” 

“And what celebration would that be? Crazy Lady Appreciation Day?” 

Luz let out a chuckle as she poured some of the mix onto a flat pan she had warming up on the stove. “Actually, it’s a celebration of mothers called Mother’s Day.” not exactly the most creative way to put it but she supposed the point of calling it that wasn’t to be creative but more straight forward on what the day was about. 

King was silent for a minute before responding with a rather quiet. “Oh.” He seemed to be deep in thought and Luz figured the conversation was done with until he spoke up again. “So this is like a requirement for said celebration?” 

Luz shook her head. “Well no, not for everyone, but for me it is. It’s a wonderful way to start someone’s day and show how much they mean to you and that you care.” 

“I see...what else do you do on this day of mothers?” 

“Well, I’d give my mom a gift. Something I made since it’s more thoughtful that way.” 

“I see.” King nervously played with Francois before looking back up at Luz. “Can I help?” 

“Of course you can, buddy!” Luz beamed at him while rubbing the top of his bony head. “How about you help me get her cup of apple blood ready. You know how she can’t start the day without it.” Luz giggled for she found it funny. At first you’d think it was this realm’s equivalent of coffee until you found that coffee did indeed exist here. The fact that Eda couldn’t start her day without a cup of what was essentially apple juice was just the cutest thing. 

King giggled too even if he didn’t know exactly why they were giggling and set about doing just like she asked. Just this once at least, he was still the King of demons but if Luz said today was an important celebration he wasn’t gonna ruin it by not being a part of it. Holding the carton of apple blood over his head he had a bit of trouble getting it onto the table but managed just fine. He then got the mug Eda tended to use most, not that he noticed these things, before hopping up on the table to pour some. Being careful not to spill, or at least not to spill too much, Luz approached the table with a plate of pancakes and another of bacon. 

“Good job, King.” She patted him again as he made an adorable squeak like sound that showed he was taking great pleasure in the praise. She then took some of the pancakes and bacon onto another plate before placing it onto the tray along with the apple blood. “Wanna help me take this to her?” 

“Yes!” He hopped down from the table and picked up Francois from where he left him on the floor. “She butter be grateful for this.” His pun had them both laughing. 

“Breakfast puns! King you are a genius.” 

“Oh stop it you.” He blushed and looked away as they made their way into Eda’s room. 

Said witch looked to be just now waking up if her yawn and eye rubbing was any indication though she stopped whatever action she was doing when they entered and instead took to staring at them. Her eyes went from one to the other and then to the tray Luz had in her hands. “What’s with all that?” She finally managed to ask in her groggy state. 

“King and I made this for you, it’s to show our appreciation.” 

“Yeah, so you better appreciate it!” King added without the pun this time, causing Luz to softly reprimand him by calling his name. “Please” He said quietly. 

Luz placed the tray down in the nest next to Eda who still hadn’t said anything and just watched. She wasn’t exactly sure what to say, she just knew that this feeling she’d suddenly been getting for weeks now was in her chest and it was way too early for it. The owl lady looked up at Luz and King’s dopey smiles, as if they were waiting for something. 

It didn’t take a genius to know what they were waiting for so she took the plate offered to her along with the fork and speared one of the strips of bacon with it. Bringing it to her lips she noticed their smiles getting considerably wider, and before popping the food into her mouth her mind settled on her first coherent thought of the day. Man were her kids a bunch of weirdos. 

“It’s good, thank you.” The two of them yelled hooray, which effectively startled her but her reflexes were at least good enough not to drop the plate. 

“Just you wait, we have more things planned for you!” Luz cheered out before picking up King and running out the door with him. “You’re going to love it!” 

“Oh...kay?” But they were long gone and her response was undoubtedly too quiet for them to hear. Still, might as well enjoy this breakfast they so thoughtfully made for her and was definitely not something to get worked up in any way about. 

Oh god she was smiling like an idiot too wasn’t she?

~~~

“What do you think of this, Luz?” King asked as he showed her the paper he was coloring on. It showed the image of a woman with a red dress and a mess of gray hair. She was holding hands with a shorter dark skinned figure with short hair and a small fluffy creature. In the background was a crude drawing of a house with a large circle on the door. Each figure, along with the circle on the door, was accompanied with a name. Below it all were the words: The Owl Family.

When Luz saw it she couldn’t help the image that entered her mind of a girl smiling happy with her mother and little brother. “This is wonderful, King!” her words were sweet and happy that the little demon couldn’t help but smile. “I’m sure Eda’s going to love it.” 

“What are you making?” He asked as he climbed up on the couch to see what it was. 

“I’m making roses out of different colors of paper. It’s something someone in my community once taught me to do.” She wasn’t always friendless, there was an old man who once lived alone in his house. If anyone ever visited him she never saw so Luz thought to do so one day. He was a kind old man and he showed her many interesting things. At first her mother was rather nervous about her doing this but once she met him, on a day that she was allowed to come home on time for once, she also found that he was a good man. The two had gone to his funeral together. 

“Did you know that in the human realm, the different colors of a rose meant different things?” It was one of those things she learned about by reading fanfiction and then looked up on her own because the concept was too cute.

“Really? That’s dumb.” He replied though his voice betrayed his intrigue. 

“Yup, like this one.” She picked up one she had already finished, a red one. “Can mean love and respect.” She picked up another, light pink. “This one can mean admiration. Pink for appreciation. White for innocence and youthfulness, but when given together with a red one can mean unity. All these are things I either want to give to Eda or they make me think of her.” Her voice was so soft when she finished, unbeknownst to her King wasn’t the only one listening. 

She was just placing the paper roses into a small empty vase that she found in a pile of stuff from the human realm when Eda had stepped off the last stair step.

“Okay what’s going on?” She asked “Do you think I’m dying or something is that what this is about?” King and Luz shared a confused look, Eda was an expert when it came to containing her emotions so why did it look like she was about to cry. 

“What do you mean?” Luz asked, worried that she did something wrong. 

“I mean the breakfast in bed, these gifts that you both are making. The thing about love and respect and admiration. What is all this?” 

King walked up to Eda with his drawing in hand. “Luz told me today was an important human celebration.” 

“What celebration is that? Crazy Lady Appreciation Day?” Eda teased despite her emotions growing ever more strongly to the point they were hurting her, but not in a bad way. The other two had to contain their fits of laughter when they recalled that King said the exact same thing this morning. 

“It’s Mother’s Day.” Luz said with a warm smile as she got up from the couch and held her vase of paper roses out for the witch to take. King did the same with his drawing, except he had to reach up considering how small he was. 

Once again Eda couldn’t think of any words as she took the gifts. Mother’s Day? What a silly thing to make a day out of. Or at least that would have been a thought she’d have when she was younger. Right now though...maybe it wasn’t that silly. 

She looked from one to the other a few times before clearing her throat to make sure she sounded alright when she made her offer. “You two wanna go get ice cream?”  

“Yes, ice cream!” They both shouted as they brought their arms up in unison. Yes her kids were a bunch of weirdos. But she loved them. 

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 7

When we finally arrived at Sue's house Chris walked with me to the front door... i nearly tripped at one point but luckily he managed to grab my arm and keep me upright! I had whispered a quiet 'thanks' before knocking lightly on her front door. Sue opened the door ushering us inside and leading the way to the living room where i saw Mason curled up on the sofa. He was asleep but he looked white and sweaty, there was a bowl on the floor beside his head incase he was sick again.

"He hasn't been asleep long, i think he wore himself out crying"

"Chris can you get Mason please? I can't carry him like this...."

"Yeah sure, i got him" he quickly moved forward and scooped Mason up into him arms.

"Mama...." Mason moaned looking around for me.

"Im right here baby, your dads gonna carry you out to the car".

"God you weren't kidding bout that fever" Chris added looking down at Mason in concern.

"Im gonna get him home, thanks for watching him Sue"

"Sure thing hon, hope he feels better soon. Here, take the bowl incase he gets sick on the drive home" she smiled passing me the plastic bowl that had been next to Mason.

The drive home i had Mason cradled against me as he slept, the seat belt going around the both of us being as we had no car seat in Chris's car!!

God i felt like a crappy mom tonight!

When we got home i sat with Mason on the sofa and stripped him down to his underwear to try and cool him down.

"Chris could you get me a cold washcloth please, there should be some in the pile of laundry on the table"

"Sure" he rushed off to grab the cloth, Mason was just laying against my chest, whimpering slightly.

"Here you go" Chris passed me the cloth and sat beside us "i got him some water too, he should be drinking plenty of fluids"

"Thanks" i smiled before folding the cloth and laying it over Mason's forehead. He moaned at the coldness but soon settled again clinging onto me, it didn't take long until he was asleep. I sighed in relief and carefully moved forward in my seat so i could lay him down.... i was desperate for the bathroom!! Mason stirred and held on tighter, for such a little thing he had a grip on him.

"Can you try taking him i really need to pee!" I looked at Chris with desperate eyes. He chuckled and managed to pry Mason off of me and into his arms.

While i was in the bathroom i wiped off my make up and tied my hair up before getting changed into my pyjama's.... it was gonna be a long night. Once i was done i headed to the kitchen and made coffee, hopefully it would help sober me up a bit more.

"Ah fuck!" I cursed as i sloshed the coffee onto the floor while making my way back to the living room "i made coffee, you might still have some left if you're lucky"

"Thanks" Chris looked up and smiled, i didn't miss the way he looked me up and down either.

"Does he still feel hot? If his temperature doesn't start to go down soon we'll have to try a lukewarm bath maybe give him some Tylenol...."

"Yeah his still hot, but it doesn't seem to be getting worse"

"This is so unlike him, Mason never gets sick. I can literally count on one hand the amount of times his been sick" i shook my head "i'm so close to freaking out right now you have no idea...."

"Calm down sweetheart, he'll be fine"

"Thank you for staying with us, i probably would've been calling my mom in hysterics if you hadn't been here"

"There's no where else id rather be" he said looking down at Mason lovingly.

"Right.... i should probably text Scott let him know we're home" i got up to grab my phone from my purse and started a text to Scott. We had dropped him at his place on the way to collect Mason.

There was a message from Derek on my phone too which i quickly skimmed, he was saying how much he enjoyed meeting me and wanted to know if i wanted to get dinner with him sometime!! I decided i'd reply to him in the morning and put my phone on the table, Mason was the only thing i could deal with right now.

I applied a fresh cloth to Masons forehead and checked his temperature, slowly but surely it was going down. I sat beside him and Chris on the sofa and sighed in relief.

"Looks like his fever is easing off finally" i said yawning and letting my head fall back against the sofa, we'd been up for hours now keeping watch on Mason.

"Yeah, thank god" Chris mumbled as he carefully tried to move Mason in his arms.

"You want me to take him?"

"No no, i'm good, my arm has fallen asleep is all" he smiled.

"You sure? i don't mind...."

"We're all good".

We sat in silence with the TV on low for some background noise and i couldn't help but look at Chris and how natural he was at being a dad.

"You should get some sleep, you look exhausted" Chris suddenly said interrupting my internal thoughts!

"You trying to tell me i look like shit Chris?" I asked raising my eyebrows at him.

"What?? No!! I didn't mean that..."

"Im fucking with you relax" i chuckled shaking my head.

"You looked beautiful tonight" i heard him say quietly, maybe i wasn't supposed to hear him but i did.

"Its amazing what you can do with some make up and clothes that aren't sweats and t-shirts"

"You look beautiful without make up even wearing your sweats and a t-shirt, i just meant that you looked good. I personally prefer this version of you"

"Haha, now i know your just trying to make me feel better....i'm a mess!"

"Prettiest girl i know" he said giving me that smirk of his.... my god damn weakness!!

"Are you just saying this because you think i'm drunk and wont remember?? Because i'll have you know i have mostly sobered up by this point"

"Im well aware, i just..... never mind. You should try and get some sleep".

I nodded agreeing with him, the conversation was about to turn awkward and i wasn't ready for that!

"Wake me up if Mason needs me...?"

"Of course".

When i woke up again i had somehow ended up cuddled up against Chris! He had his arm around me, my head resting on his chest, Mason still sleeping on his other side. To anyone who saw us and didn't know better we looked like the perfect little family. I felt myself start to panic..... i shouldn't have let myself get this close to him! It was too easy to fall back into that comfortable routine we always had..... but we didn't have that anymore, at least i didn't think we did. I carefully eased away from him making sure he was still sleeping and made a quick exit to the kitchen, he didn't need to know about this!

As i started making some coffee and toast i heard the soft voice of my baby boy. As i stuck my head round the door i saw he was sitting up talking with Chris, he looked so much better this morning thank god.

"Where's mom?" I heard him ask and i stepped into the living room giving him a smile.

"Im right here bud, how you feeling?" I asked as i sat in front of them on the coffee table, i reached over to hold the back of my hand against his forehead "looks like your fever is almost gone"

"Im hungry"

"I bet! But its dry toast for you buddy. You've gotta go easy for a little while.... are you still feeling sick?"

"No, not anymore"

"Okay thats good!".

"Dad are you staying for breakfast?" Mason asked.

"Um...."

"Pleaseeee" Mason begged looking at him with those eyes that were exactly like his dads, Chris looked at me waiting for my say so.

"Its fine with me, if you have time..."

"I do! Yeah of course!" He said quickly nodding his head with a huge smile.

After we had all eaten Chris took Mason for his bath after Mason insisted he go with his dad. While they were gone i sent a text to Scott with an update and saw a missed call from Hannah, i sat at the kitchen table and quickly called her back.

"Hey! Hows Mace?? My mom said you had to come get him last night"

"Yeah it was eventful, he had a fever and was being sick" i sighed "Chris stayed to help out with Mason... i had had so much to drink Han"

"You let him stay..."

"To help with Mason yeah"

"Hmmm of you say so" she laughed

"Shut up, what happened to you last night, huh?? You disappeared with Troy"

"I know, im sorry but did you see him?? I knew you were okay with Scott. So what about you and Derek?? He seemed very interested"

"He was nice" i nodded "he texted me last night but i haven't had a chance to reply yet"

"But your gonna right??"

"Yeah...."

"Y/N text him back!! That man was gorgeous!!"

"I will"

"Don't make me come round there"

"Oh god Han, your so pushy" i laughed.

"Only because i love you"

"I love you too, i gotta go though i'll speak to you later".

When i walked into the living room Mason was sat on the sofa watching cartoons and Chris was gathering his things.

"Your leaving already?"

"Yeah i've got a meeting at 11:00am..."

"Okay, well thanks for last night"

"Sure, anytime" he smiled "hey, i was wondering if next weekend i could take Mason to meet my mom? She's been asking when she can meet him...."

"Um.... yeah sure"

"You can come too if you want? I know my mom would be happy to see you" he said with a smile.

"Okay" i nodded "it'll just be us though right? I don't want Mason getting overwhelmed with too many new people"

"Yeah of course, maybe Scott too if he finds out you know what his like"

"Thats fine" i nodded with a smile knowing exactly what Scott was like.

"Thank you, i should go.... can i come by later though? Id like to check in on Mason"

"Sure, i'm sure he'd like that"

"I'll see you later then" he smiled before heading over to Mason "bye buddy i gotta go to work for a bit but i'll come see you later"

"Okay, bye dad".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina @mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, happyjuicyfruit!

For @happyjuicyfruit. I'm not going to lie, I saw your request and an idea was born and aside from sleep and work I wrote non-stop until this was done because it felt so good to write it. So cathartic. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing.

Read On AO3

*****

Falling into Place

“The best feeling in the whole world is watching things finally fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long.”

Unknown

The warm hum of the TV mingled with the sound of the running shower through the small studio apartment Stiles rented in Sacramento. He scrambled on his small double bed (tucked into the corner alcove opposite the bathroom door) to try and get his sweats on without applying any pressure to his injured foot. He awkwardly half-hopped on one leg, falling back on his ass on the mattress as he held the cuff carefully open to maneuver his bandaged foot inside. Mission successful, he star-fished on the bed, fully clothed at last, damp hair mussing the sheets and his foot throbbing.

He stared at the ceiling for a long moment, listening to the sounds of the shower, then forcing his eyes shut tightly to try and banish the image of exactly what body parts the less than average water-pressure might be crashing down on. Swallowing thickly, he hopped awkwardly along the narrow space, around the bookshelf he’d used as a divider at the end of his ‘sleeping area’ and into his roughly eighteen feet of living/kitchen space.

Careful not to clip his injured foot on anything, he managed to get the leftover lasagne out of the fridge and into the microwave with minimal disaster. He then frantically searched through the pile of unwashed dishes and cutlery to find enough for two people to eat with.

For some reason, it bothered him, the idea of Derek seeing his dirty dishes. He froze then, wondering if he’d left his laundry hamper spilling over. He didn’t have much time to panic, because the second he thought it, the shower shut off.

A few moments later, Derek stepped out into the room, steam billowing behind him, hair damp and…wearing Stiles’s t-shirt and sweats which looked a little tight in the shoulder and chest and across Derek’s thighs but mostly fit him just fine. Luckily Stiles preferred baggy. He didn’t realise he was staring until Derek started talking.

“I took them off the clothes dryer in the bathroom. I hope that’s alright? I washed mine in the sink. They had blood on.”

Stiles blinked, struck mute for a moment, still not really over the way his sweats clung across Derek’s hip area to form words. “Ah, no, sure, all good,” he managed at last, using the washing up to distract himself. “At least I’ve filled out a bit since the last time you had to borrow my clothes, right? And you’re lucky I had some spare. Laundry day is well overdue, to be honest. I’ve just been working on my assignments, which I got in on time, but then I found out about this case, the one with you in it and I had to find a way to convince them to let me in on it, to try and get you out, you know? So I’ve been so busy I just haven’t had time to–”

“Stiles,” Derek said, cutting his rambling off. “It’s fine. Really. This is hardly the worst place I’ve stayed.”

Stiles laughed. “Wow, ringing endorsement. Better than an abandoned bus station. Well, I’ll have you know this is a steal so close to HQ and it may be small but it’s just been done up. I am the first tenant to tarnish this kitchen. And because it’s one of the many investment properties Natalie Martin got out of the divorce, and of course Lydia is using emotional blackmail to my advantage, I can actually afford to live here without bankrupting my dad even further. Plus the roof-terrace, it’s amazing. I mean, I never actually go up there but some residents have this communal allotment and the view is amazing. Or, you know, it would be if I went there.”

Derek had crossed his arms, had rolled his eyes with that sigh, all of which weretelling signs Stiles was annoying him. And yet there was a little twist at the corners of his mouth that made Stiles’s stomach flip.

The microwave pinged then and Stiles came back to himself, prodding at the centre of the two chunks of lasagne to check they were heated properly before decanting them onto two plates. He went to offer one to Derek, complete with cutlery, before hesitating. He winced.

“Uh, would you mind carrying mine over to the ol’ dining area there? It’s a second hand couch but it’s in pretty good shape and I don’t wanna get lasagne all over it by hopping over there with my plate.”

Derek frowned at him for a moment, then down at his foot, as if he’d forgotten Stiles didn’t magically heal like he did from gunshot wounds – or, you know, splintered fragments of cement that had ricocheted off the wall from the gunshot that had largely missed him, but still. He’d been on the run again, Stiles knew, and before that likely just with Cora since he and Braeden had gone their separate ways. If their texts over the last few months or so were anything to go by, that is. He’d probably not spent much time with humans since last Stiles had seen him, except the ones trying to trap or shoot him.

Eventually, Derek took both plates and stepped back a little into the makeshift doorway between the wall and the shelf that stood as a screen at the end of the bed. It held his books, nicknacks and a TV that swivelled to face either the living area or the bed because Lydia was a goddess and a genius. Stiles hopped awkwardly passed him, supporting himself on the arm of the couch as he eased down onto it. Derek offered his plate to his sturdier lap rather than his hands, likely a survival skill taught after years of observing how erratic Stiles’s hands could be, before settling next to him on the couch.

The late night news was reporting the raid on the warehouse as a drug bust but they knew the truth. Thankfully, the FBI didn’t seem to know the truth, that the guy they’d been pursuing, namely Derek, was a werewolf. He thought they’d managed to get out of it without exposing that and hopefully, if Scott’s dad came through for them, Derek would be out of the spotlight soon enough.

Stiles had set it all in motion the second he’d seen Derek’s face on a slideshow of live suspects, but when he’d discovered they were planning on raiding a possible location of Derek’s, he hadn’t been able to wait for Rafael McCall. He’d made many contingency plans, but the one that’d ended up going into motion had been such a cliché he was almost disappointed in himself and the institution he was interning with.

He’d snuck in a spare FBI jacket and in the chaos, had managed to get Derek into it and offered up his cap and they’d literally walked out of there. Well, Stiles had been carried really, but semantics.

He hadn’t planned for there to be hunters there, who had happily started shooting the second the FBI had burst in looking for Derek. Derek, who had only been there because somehow those hunters were connected to the murders the FBI had linked Derek too. Stiles hadn’t gotten the full story out of him yet. But anyway, he hadn’t planned for there to be idiots there wanting to go on a shoot-out with the FBI, for bullets to be flying everywhere. He hadn’t planned for getting injured by exploding concrete, which was pretty much a bullet wound anyway.

That’s what his bosses were classing it as anyway – wounded in action pretty much. They were so pleased an intern that shouldn’t have really been there hadn’t been killed and that he was pretty much taking near-death in his stride that he thought maybe his reputation might have gained a few more points if anything.

And once Scott’s dad finished subtly helping Stiles’s team to connect the hunters to the murder instead of Derek, exoneration hopefully shouldn’t be too far behind.

“Where did you get this from?” Derek asked as he gulped down another mouthful of lasagne like a starving animal. Really, Stiles wondered when his last decent meal had been.

“Uh, I made it,” Stiles said with a mostly empty mouth. “I can’t afford to live off take-out, dude. I gotta live smart while I’m still an intern.” Even with the FBI an internship didn’t pay a luxurious dividend. “I can make a few things that can keep in the fridge for a few days. This is the last of the lasagne though, buddy, so if you want seconds the take-out menus are on the fridge.”

Derek blinked at him, looking almost owlishly startled which was sort of adorable on him really. He looked tired and confused and a few stray droplets of water trickled down his neck from his damp hair. “No, this is good. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“Well, they haven’t given me my Michelin stars yet but I can eat a lot better than some of the other interns by being smart about it and thinking ahead.” Stiles finished the last few bites of his own and set the plate on the floor by his feet. “If I hadn’t learned to cook and make food stretch a little more, dad and I would’ve had to sell the house to keep us in take-out.”

Derek had gotten the larger portion, Stiles was a good host, so he was still eating and seemed to consider Stiles’s words for a long time before saying between mouthfuls, “Your mom taught you?”

Stiles offered a wistful smile.

“Yeah. Not gourmet or anything but cooking was our thing. I wasn’t the kind of kid that could sit down and watch TV while their mom cooked. I was always under her feet so she made me help, made me useful. Some things stuck, I guess. I learned enough.”

He thought that was going to be the end of it. They fell quiet and the late news bulletins had long-since finished and returned to some late-night comedy talk show. But then Derek spoke, quiet and distant, like he was somewhere far away, in a tone way Stiles wasn’t sure he’d ever heard from him before.

“My dad was the cook. He didn’t really teach me meals, Laura always used to help him in the kitchen. But he did teach me to make his salted caramel brownies.”

Stiles wasn’t sure what to do with that.

It’d been a long day, a long few weeks for Derek, really. He looked both world-weary and yet less troubled than he had since Stiles had last seen him. He sounded at peace with a part of himself Stiles had only ever glimpsed in their two years or so of chasing monsters together around Beacon Hills.

“Those sound amazing,” Stiles offered with a little smile, because it was the truth. Derek’s face turned to him then, empty plate still in hand, the glow of the TV and kitchen light making his features soft and warm.

He studied Stiles for a long time, eyes roving his face as if he were relearning him, before he said quietly, “it’s really good to see you, Stiles.”

Stiles smiled and chuckled a little self-consciously, “well, you know, likewise. And hey, I’m always willing to put you up when you’re a wanted fugitive, you know this from experience.”

Derek raised a brow, lips twitching. “Did you mention that in your interview for your internship with the FBI?”

“Oh, we got a sense of humour since we last met, huh?” Stiles laughed, but as he put his foot down to rise, he winced, remembering his injury. “Holy shit,” he hissed, grasping his ankle in lieu of his throbbing foot, thinking of the medication the hospital had sent him away with, sitting on the kitchen counter.

When they’d made their initial getaway, Derek had literally skulked around in the shadows while Stiles reported to the field leader, before taking himself to the hospital. In matter of fact, Derek had taken him to the hospital, giving him sideways looks like he was equal parts pissed off and concerned. And he hadn’t left Stiles’s side until they’d come back to Stiles’s apartment and they’d taken their respective showers.

To be honest, sitting in Derek’s rental car while he picked up Stiles’s prescription was a bizarre feat he kept coming back to. Not an unpleasant one though. He was definitely more than capable of looking after himself, had proven that a hundred times over, really. But it felt nice, having someone there who looked worried, who took the dinner plates and set them in the sink, who brought his medication and water to take them with in the only clean glass and…oh god…

“Dude, you don’t have to clean my dirty dishes, you’re a guest–”

“Technically, I’m a fugitive in hiding,” Derek cut across him neatly, running more hot water into the sink, the last of it until the tank filled up again after two showers, Stiles thought. “Besides, you need to stay off your foot and if you leave these dishes another night they might run off on their own.”

Stiles glared at him as he drank from his glass and then downed his pills. “This is a small apartment, buddy, there’s only room in here for one wise-ass.”

Derek ducked his head as he started the dishes, but Stiles caught his smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

*

Stiles woke up with a little start, the kind you got when you caught yourself drifting off on the couch in front the TV. Except it didn’t look as if he’d caught himself. It looked like he’d fallen asleep in front of the TV and Derek had carried him to bed. The medicine must’ve knocked him out, Stiles thought, blinking blearily at the narrow strips of pre-dawn light peeking around his blind to the side of the bed.

He could hear soft breathing in the quiet from beyond the wall that the double-sided bookshelf made and it felt comforting. Even now, nearly a year-on from the event, he still had trouble with the feeling of waking up too quickly. He wondered why his initial panic hadn’t woken Derek, but then, he supposed Derek had been on the run for so long, again, it was no wonder he was dead to the world.

The fact that he felt safe enough to crash in Stiles’s place was another thing to think about all on its own. The insinuations and repercussions swirled around in Stiles’s brain as he fully came aware of himself, cursing the pain in his foot before sliding tentatively out of bed. He used the bathroom as quietly as he could, then realised if he wanted to take more medication, he’d have to eat something first and to do that he’d have to turn the light on in the kitchen to find something.

The sounds of Derek sleeping sounded so peaceful that he felt like a dick for contemplating it. In the end he crawled quietly back into bed, careful to keep the leg attached to his wounded foot out of the blankets and tried to ignore the pain.

It didn’t work. He fidgeted uncomfortably, the discomfort making him uneasy, letting his mind stretch to strange places, to worries that apparently simply had to be solved at 3am. It was cold in the apartment too which didn’t help, but Stiles was one of those defiant people that waited until he was cold enough to be wearing a beanie indoors before he would put the heating on – more blankets before heating.

He’d worked himself into a state wondering if maybe the nurse he’d seen earlier hadn’t managed to get all the fragments out of his toe and that was why it hurt so much, when he heard Derek shifting around on the sofa. On instinct, he squeezed his eyes shut, guessing he just wanted to take a leak, but his brow furrowed when he heard a click-clack sounds on his wooden floor. It reminded him of Scott’s old dog loping across the kitchen floor and it took him a moment to register what that noise meant until he felt a cold, damp nose snuffling around his foot.

An image came to Stiles behind his closed lids and he remembered the black wolf darting into the fray in the desert, eyes glowing blue.

He twitched at the contact, but Derek either thought that was an instinctive motion out of sleep or didn’t care if he was awake because he hopped carefully up onto the bed and draped his front legs over Stiles’s. One of his heavy, warm paws just rested over the place where Stiles’s sweats had ridden to expose his ankle and it was as if Stiles could feel all of the pain draining away from his throbbing foot through the place where Derek’s warmth rested.

Opening his eyes at the sheer relief, he of course found the same black wolf sprawled half over him, warm and soft and staring right back at him with piercing blue eyes that glowed in the dimness. Stiles could just make out his shape and without really thinking about it, he reached out to touch. It just occurred to him that maybe Derek didn’t want to be petted like a dog and that maybe he might give him a reproving nip when he felt soft, fine fur under his fingers and the pressure of Derek leaning into his touch.

Stiles stroked one downy ear and then, emboldened, scratched his fingers over the wolf’s head. It felt cathartic and he wondered absently about those therapy animals, before the flick of Derek’s tongue against his wrist.

A low, tired chuckle rippled out of Stiles, hoarse and sleepy. He thought in the pre-dawn dimness, in the little alcove the bookshelves created around his bed, that maybe anything was possible without complications. There were no rules, no posturing or pride or uncertainty. Derek had sensed his discomfort, his pain, maybe even his loneliness – maybe because it mirrored his own. The low, grumbling sound Derek made when Stiles stroked the side of his head and scruff told him Derek was as happy for it as he was.

Then Derek, still the wolf, laid his head down on Stiles’s torso, breathing evenly and Stiles fell asleep stroking his fingers over his fur. Fell into a slumber that was light and painless and full of dreams.

*

Derek was already gone from his bed when he awoke well into the morning. When he sat up and hobbled out of bed, Stiles found him doing push-ups in the space between his couch and the TV. He stared at him dumbfounded for a moment, still finding it surreal, a half-naked Derek Hale exercising in his tiny apartment with sweat beading between the muscles of his shoulders and down to the small of his back.

He had the terrible feeling that he was staring and that his lips were parted, as if ready to spill something embarrassingly appreciative so he quickly turned into the kitchen area – only to stop dead. It was spotless. The dishes were cleaned and stored away, the units were practically gleaming and to make it worse, there was a laundry basket in front of the fridge piled high with clean, neatly folded laundry.

Holy shit.

“Dude, please tell me you did not do my laundry?” he pleaded, dismayed.

Derek seemingly ignored him for a moment, pushing up from the floor, the tight line of muscles in his back drawing Stiles’s unwitting gaze until he eventually rose. He snagged the glass of water off the side and drank it down greedily.

Stiles couldn’t help but wonder how many push-ups a werewolf had to do before getting all sweaty. But then the thought drifted off on a tangent about how long a werewolf might have to do other things to get that sweaty. How long, how hard…

Oh god, his face was burning.

Green-hazel eyes considered him for a long time, bright with the sunlight streaking through the window and Stiles had the horrible feeling Derek could tell his thoughts by smell or something. Whether he did or not though, all he said was, “I had to wash the blood out of my clothes. It just made sense to take yours at the same time. It’s no big deal.”

“Even my dad doesn’t wash my dirty underwear, Derek!”

Derek snorted, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t roll around in them, Stiles, I tossed everything into two washers.”

Stiles spluttered at the idea of Derek rolling around in his laundry and his hands flailed. “You’re a wanted fugitive until further notice, you could’ve been caught!”

Rinsing the glass in the sink and setting it on the draining board to dry, Derek turned back to face him, leaning slightly against the units. “I went to the utility room downstairs. No one was going to be looking for me there. I don’t get what the problem is.”

Well no, Derek wouldn’t, would he? Because he’d always been awful at looking after himself. Because he hadn’t had to share space with a human since…forever and Stiles was hyperaware that Derek could probably tell his every activity for the last few weeks on his dirty clothes, that he could probably read Stiles’s mind from chemo-signals or whatever and Stiles was only just realising exactly how much he had to hide.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Stiles scrubbed at his hair and the back of his neck. “Ummm, you’re right, it’s nothing it’s…I still haven’t really woken up yet. Thank you, for…basically sorting my life out while I slept the morning away. You didn’t have to do that though, you’ve probably been under more stress, being on the run than I have doing an internship.”

“An internship with the FBI who have no idea about werewolves when you know pretty much everything there is to know about the supernatural sounds pretty stressful to me,” Derek offered lightly, glancing out the window and down at the city thoughtfully for a moment. He seemed to be struggling for the best way to phrase whatever it was that was on his mind, but then, Stiles supposed he hadn’t had much in the way of company the last few weeks.

He knew Derek had been with Braeden briefly, then Cora, then on his own when his life had turned upside down again. And there was a lightness to Derek’s face this morning that Stiles thought mirrored his own. Like last night had been the first time he’d slept well in a long time too. He looked more at ease than Stiles had ever seen him in his entire life and he was technically still a wanted fugitive.

Dragging his hand through his hair again to distract from his wandering thoughts as best he could, Stiles hobbled into the kitchen area properly and shoved the last two slices of bread into the toaster. Hmmm. He’d have to get some groceries. His foot was throbbing though.

“I have to report to work via video conference later, since I can’t really walk much.” He glanced to the crutches the hospital had given him on loan for a couple of weeks and tried to imagine scaling the insane amount of stairs he had to climb everyday. He’d probably end up with a broken neck. Luckily he had loads of paperwork, which he was good at and didn’t mind doing. They’d probably let him do it from home for a few days, if only so they didn’t have to do it.

His efficiency with the paperwork was probably a big part of why they liked him so much, since most of his classmates tried to beg out of it. But his single-minded concentration that came with his ADHD, as much as it was easing as he got older, was a godsend apparently. When it was a subject he had interest in, i.e. his job, he was like a machine.

“Can I stay?”

Stiles turned slightly to look at Derek, still staring out the window at the grey sky. “Until things are sorted out with the FBI. Can I stay?”

He sounded warm and awkward and almost longing, voice a little husky and Stiles swallowed tightly.

“Dude, stay as long as you want. You’re always welcome. Mi casa, es su casa, always. You don’t have to ask.”

Derek looked at him at last, lips slightly parted as if he were going to say more. In the end, his mouth closed and he nodded determinedly.

*

Work was pretty gracious about his request to work from home. He had reports to type up and some other paperwork to keep him busy for the rest of the week at least. Plus he was entitled to some medical leave if he couldn’t walk easily. Besides that, they were thrilled that one of their unsolved cases seemed to be coming to a close because of ‘his help’.

Rafael McCall had apparently planted the necessary evidence into the system to connect the guys they caught at the raid the other day to the murders Derek (although the FBI didn’t know his identity) was accused of. One of them with similar build to Derek had even sustained serious burns to his back during the raid, which Stiles had reasoned could be where the suspected tattoo was that they’d used to identify the unsub they were looking for. It was the idiot’s own fault really, for being an immortal hunter who murdered countless people, for packing a flamethrower and trying to turn it on the FBI.

Stiles had zero sympathy for people who wielded fire. Maybe it was just because he had seen what fire could do in the Hale house, on Peter Hale’s face before he’d healed himself. It was a dick move. Even if he’d technically done it himself once, he supposed.

So it all tidied up nicely, really and by the time the video call had ended, Stiles was sure Rafael had managed to erase any evidence with anything similar to Derek’s face or body. He should’ve felt bad using the guy, he supposed. But he’d never claimed to have scrupulous morals and besides which, it was Scott’s idea to ask for his help in the first place.

Daddy McCall had infinite favours to do before he could make it up to Scott, Stiles supposed. But in the mean time, as long as Scotty approved, he would use Rafael McCall’s powers for good and maybe the guy would get his head out of his ass along the way.

He’d shot a text to both McCalls, one a curt message of thanks, the other assuring Derek should be safe as soon as they were sure the guys they caught were going to stay caught. The only problem was, Derek had snuck out while he’d been on his conference call. He’d noticed mid-conversation with his boss and so hadn’t been able to act on it. The second the call came to a close, however, he shut the laptop and sprang up. Snatching his phone up, he dialled.

The phone rang and rang. Stiles was already toeing a shoe onto his good foot and reaching for his crutches when he heard the jingling of keys outside his door. He stopped dead at the sound, looking up just as the door opened. Derek stepped inside, arms loaded with brown paper grocery bags. He blinked at Stiles’s proximity to the door, as if surprised and neatly side-stepped him to set the grocery bags down on the kitchen floor.

“Where the hell have you been?” Stiles demanded.

Derek raised a brow, pausing in loading fresh fruit and vegetables into the fridge drawer. His expression said it all.

With a scowl, Stiles gestured to the front door. “For the next few hours you’re still potentially on their system as most wanted, Derek. You can’t just go for a walk around Sacramento.”

“Stiles, you have a grocery store around the corner – literally. I was in there for ten minutes. I wore your Mets cap. I kept a low profile – I know how to do that, I’m very practiced at it.”

Stiles hesitated. “You went to the rich people supermarket?” That was the only grocery store on his block. Sometimes Stiles hit it up on payday for their luxury cookie range when Lydia came to visit.

Rolling his eyes, Derek continued to load the groceries into the fridge and cupboards. It was all so domestic, the scene, the bickering and it made Stiles feel sort of funny.

“Nobody noticed me. There was no way you could manage the groceries on your own and you hopping around on crutches and fighting me over who was going to foot the bill would’ve made more of a scene that me going in alone.”

“Dude, I can be stealthy and I don’t need you to fill my fridge–”

“You do if I’m going to eat all your food,” Derek interrupted, tossing the paper bags into the recycling bin before turning to face him. His nostrils flared and he stared Stiles down for a long moment before shaking his head. “Sometimes you need help too, Stiles,” he breathed, exasperated and fond all at once.

Stiles swallowed thickly, darting his gaze to the side. He didn’t even like accepting his dad’s help at the best of times. With Lydia and Scott, loved them though he did, they had their own stuff going on and he couldn’t ask for their help either. Or he could but he didn’t want to. It was easier just to struggle through. And yet Derek was standing there, watching him expectantly, with that mixture of softness and annoyance on his face and Stiles didn’t want to reject the symbolic hand he’d been trying to grasp since he was sixteen. That had often come close but had never felt within his reach until now.

A sudden buzz on his intercom for the front door made Stiles jump.

“I also ordered Chinese,” Derek smirked, “think you can manage to get the door?”

Stiles muttered under his breath at the indignation of it, but still buzzed the delivery guy in.

“You don’t have to bribe me with food to let you stay,” Stiles said as they set the take-out boxes on the minute counter space a few minutes later. It smelled so good that the argument Stiles had been forming in his mind dissipated in the delicious smelling steam rising from the boxes. “You’re welcome here, even after your name is cleared for a bit, if you want.”

Derek huffed as he split the contents of each dish out equally. Because Stiles may have been human but he had the appetite of a wolf. “Nice to know, but this isn’t a bribe. It’s just something I want to do. Don’t make a big deal out of it, okay?”

Feeling like he was getting some of his equilibrium back, Stiles grinned. “Isn’t this like…a courting ritual, a wolf sharing food or providing food?”

“Shut up, Stiles,” Derek barked, ears flaming. He snatched the bowls out of Stiles’s hand and carried all of them over to the sofa so Stiles couldn’t hop across with them and, most likely, risk sending it all to the floor.

Some old movie was on with Humphrey Bogart – Stiles’s mom and dad had liked watching his movies together so he left it on and they ate and Derek half-watched with a wistful little look on his face that made Stiles wonder if someone in his family had liked the movie too.

Stiles talked about Katherine Hepburn and how his mom had loved her, how she’d watched her movies with her mother. He talked about World War One’s impact on Africa and how he’d drifted off on a tangent about it in the middle of one of his papers about World War Two, and how his dad had just smiled quietly through the whole meeting with the teacher when he called his dad in about Stiles’s attention span. And through it all, Derek smiled slightly, that private little half-smile as he sucked noodles into his mouth and toed off his shoes in the middle of Stiles’s apartment. The apartment that Derek had cleaned and it just made Stiles feel so…warm. Comfortable. He’d never felt comfortable with someone and yet hyperaware of their every little movement at the same time.

Derek had polished off most of his chow mein and shifted back on the sofa a little as Hepburn dumped Bogart’s gin into the river, relaxing with Stiles until their knees touched.

Heat swelled in Stiles’s stomach and he covered up the little splutter he gave and distracted himself by chugging down some more noodles.

“I haven’t had good Chinese take-out since I moved up here,” he sighed happily, licking the sauce from his lips. He turned to Derek more fully then and swore he caught those eyes dropping to the movement of his tongue and back again. Huh. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. We can alternate–”

“You’re injured–”

“And you’re a guest,” Stiles protested but Derek just shrugged, looking back to the TV.

“The couch is comfortable enough when I shift, and plenty warm. It’s fine, I’m not turfing you out of your own bed Stiles and that’s the end of it.”

Stiles’s tenacity was sidetracked by curiosity. He set his now empty plate down, sitting back a little to let his leg stretch out and relieve any pressure on his throbbing foot. He’d had medication with his food and it was starting to kick in. “Do you always shift when you sleep or is my couch just that uncomfortable?”

“It’s fine, Stiles,” Derek half-groaned, polishing off his rice now, thumb tracing the edge of the plate distractedly. He stared at the screen without really seeing it. His silence only lasted a moment longer than it should have, but Stiles noticed. He noticed everything, he noticed the way Derek was still relaxed next to him, not uncomfortable at their proximity, the way his mouth had a slight shine from his tongue and the way the light struggling to peak through the clouds touched his cheekbones.

“I don’t shift in my sleep a lot. But it’s…it’s like letting go, I guess. A release of tension.”

Stiles nodded. “It feels good. Like sinking into a hot bath or eating really good food. It lets you process stuff?” he suggested and when Derek nodded his own lips twitched. He couldn’t help himself. “So that’s why you’re so zen now, huh? You’re one with the wolf and the wolf is one with you?”

But Derek didn’t laugh, didn’t really seem to register the joke, he looked hesitant, oddly vulnerable even as he was obviously trying to guard himself. “I can control it. If it bothers you.”

“Nah, you do you. Just don’t shed on my sheets or anything.”

With a scowl, Derek watched as Stiles snatched the last prawn cracker out of the complimentary bag between them. “I do not shed. I’m a werewolf, not a dog.” But there was that fond exasperation again that made Stiles a bit giddy. It made him feel stupid and hungry and happy and brave and scared all at once.

He drummed his fingers nervously along his thighs as he chewed and swallowed, and then of course his mouth moved of its own volition.

“Thanks, by the way. For…you know, last night. Taking the pain? And, well…you know, I…” He looked at Derek for some sort of clue, because Derek hadn’t mentioned last night and Stiles was almost half-convinced it’d been a dream. That was until he saw the way Derek’s eyes were molten and so, so close.

Stiles gave a nervous, breathy little laugh. “You’re better than that crap the hospital gave me.”

Considering him for a beat, Derek seemed to scan every inch of Stiles’s face. “Probably not half as addictive anyway.”

Stiles wasn’t entirely sure about that.

He spent the rest of the day doing his paperwork while Derek seemed quite content to alternate between reading one of Stiles’s books, flicking through the TV and messaging Cora on his phone.

It felt like they’d always shared this, comfortable and easy and gravitating around each other. When Stiles finally went to turn in, he found himself hesitating. His hand rested lightly on the bookshelf as he turned back to look at Derek, who was curled up under Stiles’s blanket that he snuggled up under on the couch on the colder evenings. For once in his life though, words failed him and after too long staring at Derek on the couch, all he could say was “goodnight Derek,” before heading into the bathroom.

His head was buzzing as he watched his reflection scrub his teeth, eyes too bright and face a little pink. Because it felt like everything he’d thought he’d imagined between them, once Derek had left them in Mexico, had just picked right back up where they’d left off. The easiness, those little half smiles that made something twist deep in his belly. He spat into the sink and splashed his face and throat with cool water to try and compose himself. Then he turned on the extractor, just in case there was some whiff of Stiles’s emotions or whatever in there.

*

It took another forty-eight hours before he got the short, not quite curt phone call from Rafael McCall saying Derek’s appearance was officially off the FBI’s radar (and unofficially off their records completely, as if it’d never been). But Derek stayed. He watched Stiles as he finished the call and then as he hung up, he held his gaze as he asked simply, voice warm and almost husky, “can I stay?”

Stiles wasn’t even thinking about the way Derek kept his apartment clean and his laundry done as he said, “as long as you want.” He thought about the fact that they liked the same cheesy old movies, that Derek liked to curl up with Stiles on his modest couch in the evening to read, while their feet pretty much touched under the blanket because the apartment was still a touch too cold, but not cold enough to turn the heating on yet.

He thought about their bickering and the way he liked to listen to Derek breathing as he drifted off. But mostly he thought about the way Derek had looked at him in Mexico, as he’d gotten into that car.

Now he was as safe as he was going to be, Derek used his modest little rental car to give Stiles a ride to work, saving him from struggling on the crutches all the way there. There were lifts in the actual building so it wasn’t so bad and Stiles’s life returned to a new sort of normal, but one where Derek picked him up after work. Where, when Stiles was poring over something for work on his laptop, Derek went out for a run and came back sweaty and breathless, or brought home the fresh doughnuts from the bakery a few blocks away until Stiles sang his praises through a mouthful of delicious warm sugar and cinnamon.

Stiles’s toe was healed enough that he could walk without the crutches in record time (if he was careful), so he soon started walking to work. But his heart still skipped a little when he walked out of his work building one evening to see Derek leaning against one of the fountains, just across from the glass doors.

“Hey,” Stiles breathed, feeling warm at the sight of him. He stayed late, he always did and Derek knew that but he’d still waited. Only a few of his fellow interns walk passed, looking interested. Stiles watched as Derek cleared his throat, ducking his head a little as if embarrassed and wondered what they were whispering to put that look on his face. Stiles had to know, but Derek gave no clues of course.

“So there’s a sale on at the furniture place just on the edge of town. I was thinking, you know, if you wanted to stay for a while longer, we could pick up a decent sofa bed? Give you a bit more space to sleep? Because honestly, there’s barely enough room on that thing for me to sleep on and you’re just a tad broader in the shoulders.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Derek assured him as they walked and Stiles knew a little prickle of disappointment. Because of course Derek wouldn’t be staying forever.

“Yeah,” he offered, running a hand through his hair, eyes on the sidewalk. “You’re probably so ready for a bit more space. I mean my apartment is a bit small for a werewolf–”

“It’s not too small,” Derek cut across him, sounding as confused as he looked when Stiles glanced at his face. “There’s nothing wrong with it, Stiles. I only meant that I’m fine where I am. My family spent half our time sleeping out on the porch in the summer, or camping out in the living room in front of the fire. I don’t need a fancy bed or a bigger apartment. I asked you if I could stay because it felt right.” He looked as if that was a bit more than he wanted to say and quickly looked back to the path ahead, waiting at the crosswalk in silence.

Derek was pretty poor at self-care, always had been, worse than Stiles’s dad, really, but outside of the life or death situations that came with Beacon Hills, he’d never gone along with anything he didn’t want to do. If he wasn’t happy where he was, he’d tell Stiles so, or leave.

It wasn’t until they’d crossed the road and started round the corner that Stiles spoke again, mind grasping at the tangent he was spinning onto. “You’ve never really mentioned your family much, except for the essential stuff,” he couldn’t stop himself from saying.

“It’s easier to talk about the little things,” he shrugged, “I guess I’ve gotten used to talking about some things. When I spent time with Cora, she’d like to hear about them all the time. Everything I could remember. She was younger, didn’t really remember some of it. Not the good things.”

Stiles nodded, wondering how much of the good stuff he would’ve remembered about his mom if his dad hadn’t been there to refresh those memories.

“Is that like…your new anchor now or something?” When Derek looked confused, he continued, “just…your anchor was anger, wasn’t it? Only you’re not angry anymore, you seem…well you seem pretty amazing, if you ask me.”

He hated how fast his heart beat. The way Derek’s eyes flicked to him as if he’d heard. He probably had. Probably knew it wasn’t because Stiles had lied either.

“Not really. It hasn’t been anger for a long time. I can’t really pinpoint when, it’s not something that happens suddenly. It’s a gradual thing.”

Like grieving, like healing, like fighting beside someone everyday and missing them and only realising after they barrelled back into your life that you were falling in love.

It took Stiles a beat to realise his mind was drifting and Derek was still talking.

“…suppose I found myself in a situation, where someone was talking to me, maybe something I didn’t like, and I’d think…what would Stiles do?” Derek looked at him then, pausing on the sidewalk outside Stiles’s building and staring into his eyes with that wistful look.

Stiles’s stomach swooped and his head spun, even as Derek continued to talk.

“Of course, you’d always say something stupid or random–”

“Dude, you know me so well,” Stiles interjected, a little breathlessly, but Derek continued.

“–but whatever it was I felt…more focussed.”

 The chilly evening air whipped around them, picking up a little now and Stiles exhaled shakily, breath coming out in the lightest of mists between them.

Unbidden, the memory of being in the back of that van, with Derek and Liam came to him. Derek, trying to teach Liam to control his shift, both of them trying to tell him about anchors, about his focus. Back then, Derek had given him a look that Stiles had assumed was surprise at Stiles’s keen observations about werewolves and their anchors. Now he thought it had been a betrayal of a much more personal secret.

He tried to think back further, tried to think about their random text message thread over the last year, where Stiles had annoyed Derek as much as ever but Derek had always replied back. He thought about Scott and Allison, about Malia and him, the friendship their once-relationship had blossomed into. He thought about Jackson and Lydia and then he just stared at Derek as his scrambled thoughts fizzed out into quiet realisation. Like water rising up the bank where he’d camped with his assumptions of the world, until the flame he’d resigned himself to nurture there was swallowed up by the tide.

For just a moment, he felt like he was treading water again, only this time Derek was kickingback alongside him.

“You…you never said,” Stiles managed at last.

Derek stepped closer, the traffic going by, the glow of the streetlights and those of the business signs and windows all around blurred and inconsequential. It all wrapped around them in a flurry of sound and movement that fell away, as if they stood in the eye of the rush hour traffic’s storm, serene and untouched by the world as it passed on by. Stiles could feel the warmth radiating off of Derek and thought longingly of the solitude of the apartment above.

His tiny apartment that he loved but had also been a bit self-concious of. But now he supposed he knew why Derek loved it so much.

“It wasn’t…I didn’t…” Derek set his jaw, looking annoyed with himself. “I didn’t want you to expect anything from it. You were seventeen and I was…I was messed up, Stiles.”

Stiles glared. “I’m messed up. We’re all messed up, Derek, anyone who the Argents or the Nemeton or that goddamn town touched is messed up. What did you think I would like…jump you or demand a promise ring or something?!”

Exhaling impatiently, Derek shook his head. “I’d been on the run my whole life, Stiles and by the time I realised what was letting me keep my control, it’d all caught up with me at once.”

At that moment, Stiles thought of that Dire Straits song his dad loved, and that line, ‘When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong’ and he thought about what had happened. Probably happened anyway, if he could trust Peter’s story about Derek’s first love, and then his knowledge of what had happened not long after with Kate Argent. He thought about what that would mean for Derek, and how even a diminutive age gap with someone not quite of age would matter more to him than a lot of people. He thought about how angry and scared Derek had been when they’d seen him in the woods that day, when they’d been looking for Scott’s inhaler, and the man who stood before him now. He thought about the journey Derek had taken himself on after Mexico to get here.

Suddenly, the door to the apartment building opened and one of Stiles’s neighbours smiled apologetically as she stepped out onto the street between them and headed off down the sidewalk. The moment broken, Stiles shuddered as the chill crept down his neck and Derek tilted his head slightly, assessing him for an extended moment, before urging him inside.

They ate carbonara in front of the TV with Derek’s choice of a British series called Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, which Stiles felt a bit lost with, mostly because he wasn’t paying attention. He kept finding himself humming Romeo and Juliet without meaning to. This was so domestic. He couldn’t help but notice just how domestic it was and at the same time revel in it. Revel in the comfort of it and the tiny hope that maybe, if Derek had told him all this now, then that might mean this time he intended to stay.

Derek washed the dishes and Stiles dried, before excusing himself to the shower, if only for some space to process everything. Washing off the office was always cathartic too though, even if you did love your job. He dragged his hand across the surface of the steamy mirror as he roughly towelled his hair dry.

He couldn’t begrudge Derek his need for space or to process shit by himself after everything he’d been through after Mexico. He’d not exactly vanished off the face of the earth, except for the weeks he was on the run and understandably too busy for their usual text message sparring. There were so many things he wanted to ask, so many things he wanted to tell Derek and he wasn’t sure where to begin.

But amongst all that, among the repeated verses of Romeo and Juliet that just would not get out of his head now, he couldn’t help but keep coming back to the same question. If Derek had told him now, was that because it was okay for Stiles to expect something? Or…maybe not expect but…to want? Did Derek want?

Everything was still a blur when he opened the bathroom door, steam furling out around him – around Derek, who was standing right outside the door, in the narrow walkway between Stiles’s bed and the bathroom wall. There was nowhere to hide. Stiles was wearing his sweats and t-shirt and Derek was barefoot right next to his bed and the narrow space brought them so close Stiles could feel his heat. He was so perilously close and there were so many things he wanted to say.

He had plenty of time to say them.

Later.

Suddenly, there was nothing more important than showing this imperfect, verbally challenged man exactly how he felt. He stepped forward, effectively closing the minute space between them, exhaling in an unsteady breath as his eyes traced the shape of Derek’s mouth. His hands slid up Derek’s neck. As he cupped his jaw, as he traced his thumbs across the soft bristles on Derek’s cheekbones, Derek’s eyes slid closed as if the pleasure in it was almost unbearable.

It was like Derek shuddered without the movement of it and his hands, broad and so warm and gentle, slid up Stiles’s back, chasing the damp chill from his shower and leaving prickling bursts of heat in his wake. Derek tipped his head to press his forehead to Stiles’s, breathing deeply as he held Stiles close.

Stiles’s hands cupped the back of Derek’s neck, fingers threading through his short hair and Derek made a low sound like a groan deep in his chest.

“When I watched you get into that car, I felt like I lost something I never even really had,” Stiles murmured into the scant inch between their mouths. Derek’s hands slid warm up over the goosebumps on his back. He dragged his nose down the side of Stiles’s, across his cheek and jaw and chin, all without opening his eyes.

Even with his heart screaming in negation, Stiles drew back, just enough to turn them, so Derek’s back was to the bathroom and Stiles was standing in the gap beside the bed, using the shift in positions and minute space between them to say what he needed to. Derek’s eyes looked glossy and dark, considering Stiles with confusion, hands gripping his waist as he watched Stiles tried to find his words.

“I know why you had to go, then. But I really want you to stay now.”

Derek’s smile grew slowly, tentatively, but it dazzled him with its authenticity. He was still smiling when he started to lean in. Stiles wrapped his arms around his shoulders, the two of them pulling each other in close in tandem until their mouths slid together.

It was so sweet he felt himself sink into Derek at the same time that Derek pushed back. His bed had storage drawers underneath for his clothes so it was pretty high, high enough to scoot back onto and have Derek stand between his legs and just plaster the heat of his body against Stiles’s – all without their mouths separating. The slow press and caress of lips was like a question, like a request, like the shy affection of two people who had done this dance without even realising exactly what it meant until now and god, he didn’t expect Derek to be so soft.

They tilted their heads to press deeper and Derek dipped to nudge his jaw with his nose, graze the corner of his mouth with his lips until Stiles’s skin tingled pleasantly from his beard. It was like werewolf scenting and human kissing mixed up in a way that was purely just Derek until Stiles panted against his lips. He parted his lips slightly, shifting back and cupping Derek’s neck to take him with him until they were sprawled on the bed. The soft, warm shadowy place illuminated only by the glow from the lamp in the living area beyond the bookshelves.

The warmth they created between them lit Stiles up from the inside out. Derek rolled him on his double bed, tussling with him in his sheets. Stiles couldn’t help but think they must smell of them and that was maybe what was driving Derek crazy most of all. He tugged his shirt off between kisses, Derek catching his mouth the moment it passed over his head, pinning Stiles’s arms so they were still all caught up in the sleeves. He was ridiculous and perfect and making Stiles laugh at the awkwardness that felt so right. Derek’s answering chuckle against his lips and tongue was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted.

“I’ve never heard you go this long without talking,” Derek mused as Stiles lifted his head to nip at his jaw, to scrape his lips across soft, scratchy hair and relishing in the slight burn.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Stiles mock-chided, struggling, flailing out of his t-shirt at last and smoothing his hands up Derek’s back, all tight smooth muscle. “Just your shirt?”

“Mmm.” It was nonsensical but Stiles only had a moment to wonder what it meant before Derek kissed him with bruising force and drew back. He tugged his shirt off and dropping it somewhere near the end of the bed.

There wasn’t a moment of worship or godlike awe. Stiles didn’t doubt Derek had had his fair share of experiences like that. Stiles was too desperate for him to gape and gawk. He caught Derek’s shoulders and tugged him back down to him the moment his shirt was off, holding him close, bare skin sliding together hotly. Stiles’s hands gripped at his impossible shoulders and the small of his back in little spasms, wanting him everywhere, dipping between their bodies to stroke over his chest and stomach until Derek’s abs shuddered against his fingers. He groaned against Stiles’s mouth, bracing himself over Stiles’s head with his forearms, letting him touch everywhere and hold him close.

Stiles grinned against him, before nuzzling back into his cheek and wrapping his arms around him again completely.

He squeezed, pushing a little to roll them again until they were on their sides. Derek’s hands slid down his back so slowly, holding him, one hand sliding into his hair to cup his head so, so gently. Stiles nuzzled him again, just under his jaw and Derek pressed his nose into Stiles’s hair. They were both mostly hard and that was fine for now. This was what they both needed.

At some point as they lay tangled together, Stiles started to drift. He found himself half-over Derek, still wrapped in his arms in a messy sprawl but with the blankets over him now, warm and close and breathing only Derek in.

“You smell amazing,” Stiles mumbled, half-asleep. Derek’s chest jumped slightly under his hand with mostly silent laughter. He felt him press into his hairline sleepily, not as chaste as a kiss to his forehead, somehow more intimate in a way that sent little tendrils down Stiles’s spine.

“You feel amazing.”

Stiles muttered something about them not even being started yet but it was mostly smothered by his mouth smooshed against Derek’s shoulder and he definitely heard Derek say something about Stiles drooling. Stiles thought he fell asleep before he’d even finished laughing.

*

He was in that blissful place that wasn’t quite sleeping, just drifting pleasantly in relaxed consciousness. The calm tranquillity of someone just awoken, slowly drifting down to reality like a feather on a soft, warm breeze. There was something tickly nuzzling into the hollow of his neck. He groaned, stretching his limbs under the heavy blanket of heat, his arms coming up instinctively to wrap around broad shoulders and stroke clumsily until he cupped the back of Derek’s neck.

Derek was half-kissing, half burrowing into his neck and shoulder. He was only half awake himself, it seemed, and urging them both out of slumber in what Stiles thought was actually just the most fantastic way imaginable. Actually, he wasn’t sure even his imagination could come up with something this good. He felt his neck throb, as if Derek had been at it for a while and he squirmed. He tugged gently on Derek’s hair until Derek nosed across his adam’s apple and down to the opposite side of his neck to worry him there, just beneath where his collar would sit – if he ever put a shirt on again.

After a blissful eternity just lying warm and content under soft caresses, under Derek’s weight, held off him just enough by Derek’s arms either side of his head, he started to roll his hips into Derek’s soft, diminutive motions like a question again.

Derek lifted his head then, eyes glazed and dark and beautiful, hair sleep-mussed. Stiles was struck with how beautiful and soft he looked, asking for his silent consent. In answer, Stiles tilted his head and slanted their mouths together and rocked up against him until they were pressed together where they were both hard. They moved like that for a while, unhurried and lazy and perfect.

It was early morning and Stiles thought distractedly that he was going to be Derek’s workout that morning. He chuckled into Derek’s mouth and gripped Derek’s ass to pull their hips tighter together. It was firm and perfect and Derek went with it, with a little almost-growl, rutting into him even as Stiles clumsily tugged their sweats down, only just enough to bring their cocks together. He panted, tearing his mouth away from Derek’s to look down and watch them grinding together, both straining and hard and sticky.

Derek pushed up on one arm, the other coming down to hold them both together. The flat of his thumb danced under Stiles’s head as he stroked and Stiles shuddered, stomach quivering. He gripped Derek’s wrist, but not to stop him. He pressed his head back hard into the pillows as he fucked up into his hand.

He blinked bleary-eyed up at Derek, who was watching him through lust-blown eyes, half-lidded with thick lashes. Stiles grunted as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders again, holding onto him, rolling up into him even as Derek pushed back. They were just carried off fast and hard, as sudden and swift as Stiles’s heart beat and Stiles came in thick stripes between them. Hungry and shocked, he reached down to stroke them both as well, clumsy and urgent until Derek’s heat splashed over his own release before he’d even recovered himself.

He was shaking, he was pretty sure, still rocking as if he couldn’t help himself, even though he was sensitive. Derek kissed him everywhere like he was the most precious thing he’d ever seen – sweaty and mussed up and completely gone, drunk on Derek.

Derek had nice arms, Stiles thought dazedly, not for the first or last time. Those oh so nice arms scooped him up and held him close, sheets still tangled around them. Together, they fall into that soft, dreamy place that Stiles just realised only lazy morning sex could bring.

“Did you love me before I was your anchor?” he asked sleepily against Derek’s mouth sometime later. Derek liked to touch his nose to Stiles’s a lot, to drag it over his cheek and the corner of his lips so they lay at the same level mostly, on Stiles’s favourite pillow he’d brought from home that he couldn’t sleep without.

Derek opened his eyes then, hand warm on Stiles’s hip and he looked freer than Stiles had ever seen him.

“I think there was always something, an understanding or–”

“A spark?” Stiles mused.

Derek rolled his eyes but his lips were quirked in a little smile as well. “If you like. I can’t pinpoint when it changed exactly, it just…I started to change. And when I was stuck in that desert, I dreamed about you – I only dreamed about you, Stiles, and that’s when I knew.”

Stiles studied him closely in the muted light. “That I was your anchor?”

“Yes,” Derek said softly, so openly. “And I was messed up then, we both were and the timing wasn’t right, and you were seventeen and part of me felt like I’d never really stopped being sixteen but I knew that somewhere along the way, you’d become the most important thing to me.”

Stiles stroked his face. Derek was getting laugh lines around his eyes, and they were the most perfect thing he’d ever seen.

“I think I fell in love with you when you were hiding out in my room all that time from the sheriff’s department, even if I didn’t really understand what it meant.”

He still wasn’t sure he understood it entirely now, but they had plenty of time to figure it out.

He leaned in this time, bringing their mouths together just a split-second before his phone buzzed. No, Derek’s phone buzzed in the living room. They ignored it at first, then it started vibrating frantically, signalling a phone call in silent mode and Derek huffed in annoyance before hopping out of bed. He pulled up his sweats as he went, but not before Stiles got a glorious glimpse of that perfect ass. He couldn’t wait to see more of it.

As Derek answered, he stumbled into the bathroom and ran a washcloth under warm water, sponging himself down and wringing it out to take out to Derek, but as he turned, he found Derek in the doorway, phone still to his ear, a worried look on his face. Or a worried scowl at any rate.

“What sort of trouble?” Derek said to the person on the phone.

Stiles didn’t have super-hearing, but the apartment was quiet and Derek’s phone was loud enough that he heard a woman’s voice on the phone. Cora?

“You’re telling me that their whole pack was destroyed?” His tone was difficult to read and Stiles wasn’t sure if Derek was summarising Cora’s words for Stiles’s benefit, or just simply floundering in disbelief. Because Derek had just been on the run for months because hunters, the ones they’d helped the FBI catch, had annihilated an entire pack and somehow pinned the blame on Derek, who had stopped by to check it out at exactly the wrong time.

The second hit on a werewolf pack in less than six months was a bit of coincidence and usually hunters were a bit more circumspect about their attacks, even the crazy ones.

Genocide on a wider scale was harder to ignore.

Stiles glanced at his own phone through the doorway, sitting currently silent on his side table. His work may not be aware of it yet, or maybe they were, but interns weren’t privy to this sort of dangerous information – the kind of information that could start a wider scale of panic. There were people like Rafael all over the FBI and CIA, trying to keep the secrets of the supernatural world secret. They were either doing a really good job of it or the officials were being pretty secretive themselves.

Stiles wouldn’t have time to find out which it was. He just knew. Stepping closer, he pressed his ear close and Derek held the phone away from his ear slightly so they could both listen.

“They weren’t even careful about it Derek,” Cora’s voice said, sounding fast and afraid. “The pack I’m staying with are in contact with this one in Brazil everyday because they’re the alpha’s in-laws and communication completely stopped. When they sent some people to check it out, they were just…everyone is gone. It was a blood bath. A scale of attack no one could’ve defended against. We’re working on other packs, telling them to go underground, get into hiding so I can’t – I wouldn’t ask you, but you know there are kids in this pack I’m staying with, Derek, in some of these other packs we’re trying to get to safety and something huge is going on here and I need to know someone I trust is looking into it.”

Stiles swallowed thickly, hands shaking and Derek held his gaze, as still as stone. In the short time Stiles had known Cora, he’d never heard her this shaken and desperate. This was bad. They both seemed agreed on that.

“I’ll check it out. Send me the location,” Derek said.

“Just for reconnaissance,” Cora insisted, voice shaken but determined now. “You promise me, Derek. This isn’t a battle you can win alone. You stay out of sight, find information and get out.” When Derek didn’t reply she persisted more firmly, “you promise me.”

It was not a question.

Derek sighed and though his expression was tinged with worry, his eyes were soft and affectionate. Stiles had heard him talk about his time with Cora and the pack she was staying with fondly, so he thought they’d gone some ways to mend the fractures in their relationship. He couldn’t wait to find out more – once they got out of whatever mess was headed their way, because there was no question they were heading straight for it.

“I promise, Cora. I can be careful.”

Stiles swore he heard something like “yeah, now you can” muttered down the phone from Cora and he smirked in spite of himself.

“Don’t go alone. Are you still in contact with Chris Argent or Braedan? Or can Isaac meet you?”

“Isaac’s still in France, he’s…” Derek looked thoughtful. “He’s happy there, Cora. He’s got a whole life.”

“Argent or Braeden then,” Cora said impatiently, more like a mother than a sister. “You can’t go alone.”

Derek straightened a little then, staring directly into Stiles’s eyes without any reservations and with meaning so much more significant than his simple words suggested. “Don’t worry, I’ve got back up.”

*

They had to get a flight to Brazil. Luckily there was space on the next flight out with only one stop over and Stiles was thrumming with nerves the whole time.

On the last leg, Derek laid a hand over his on the arm rest to still his twitching fingers when it looked like the woman in the window seat next to them was about to kill Stiles.

He wondered if it were possible that Derek could anchor him as well as the other way around, because after that he did actually manage to get some sleep. He didn’t know then just how much he would need it.

*

The next seventy-odd hours of Stiles’s life were non-stop. He wasn’t even sure he could process it correctly for days, weeks, months after, but somehow, while they were checking the wide area the murdered pack had claimed as territory, he and Derek had gotten split up. The ‘hunting party’ that’d attacked the pack had disbanded but some were still in the nearby town and some, Derek had apparently found at the scene of the crime. All of course, while Stiles got into trouble with the former.

Stiles wasn’t even sure how but by the time Derek had met him back at their hotel, Stiles had already had most of the hunters he’d encountered taken in by local law enforcement as suspects and Derek…Derek had parked up out front in what Stiles was pretty sure was a stolen car.

“Oh my god!” Stiles declared more than gasped as he scrambled into the passenger seat. “Are you insane! There are Brazilian police all over this town now and you park up in a stolen car!”

Derek rolled his eyes. “It’s not reported as stolen, they didn’t live long enough to make the call.”

Stiles scowled, scanning the street anxiously but the police that’d made the arrests were gone with their charges now and those that’d been left to clear the scene still seemed to be inside.

“Dude, where have you been?! You were meant to be back hours ago!”

Pulling back out into the street with all the calmness of a man out on a morning stroll, Derek made the turn at the junction toward the airport. “I was a bit caught up. I text you as soon as I could.” Before Stiles could do much more than process that the fact that he himself had also not really had time to check his phone, Derek added wryly, “Looks like you’ve been pretty busy too.” His eyes followed the three police vans they passed, currently transporting their suspects to the local jail.

They might not stay there, Stiles’s dad had been brief and distracted when he’d put Stiles in contact with someone trustworthy in Brazil. He was probably working on a big case himself as he was very hasty to get Stiles off the phone, so Stiles still wasn’t sure exactly how much Detective Silvos, who’d helped Stiles get these guys nailed down, knew about the supernatural. He hadn’t really blinked at Stiles’s vague and suspicious story though. Not when Stiles’s dad had spoken to him on the phone.

He also hadn’t asked Stiles to give him his address or contact details or to stay in town while the investigation continued, which was standard even in another country, of that he was sure.

He had the nagging suspicion somehow his dad was involved in this, which was impossible, surely? How could he be involved in a hit on werewolves in Brazil and Mexico that were somehow linked?

And why weren’t Lydia or Scott answering their damn phones?!

He stared at Derek then and the sight he made. “Is that your blood? Dude,” he hurriedly stripped off his outer shirt for Derek to put on when they reached the airport. They did not need that kind of attention.

Derek set his teeth. “Get your phone out and book us on the next flight out of Brazil.”

Stiles studied him carefully for a moment before digging in his pocket for his phone. “Sacramento flights are–”

“Not Sacramento,” Derek cut across him, focussed solely on the road ahead, as if he dared not let his mind drift back to whatever he’d left behind.

Watching his face in profile carefully, Stiles waited for Derek to explain or clarify what he meant exactly. But the haunted look in Derek’s eyes as the street lights flashed by made the uneasiness at the back of his mind settle heavily in the pit of his stomach. “Derek?”

“Book the fastest route to Beacon County airport,” he said at last, casting Stiles a little sideways glance.

Of course whatever crap was going on here was leading them back to Beacon Hills, the place they’d both tried so hard to escape. Stiles was so getting his dad a job somewhere in Sacramento because his life expectancy was definitely going to go up with that move. He shot his dad a text to check in as he pulled up the flights options.

*

It was night when they landed in Beacon County Airport after a long two stop flight and the taxi they took from there dropped them off at the Stiles’s house. An uncomfortable sense of foreboding filled him when they found that his dad wasn’t there. Even as Stiles felt his panic sky-rocketing, even as he dialled his dad’s cell and the line rang and rang, Derek stood poised on the threshold of the front door, listening to the cool, quiet night.

Stiles watched him, knowing, just knowing somehow that he was picking up on something Stiles couldn’t have a hope of sensing.

“They’re in trouble – we’ve got to go,” Derek said quickly. Stiles snatched the Jeep’s keys off the rack in the hall. He hoped that the fact that Scott had left the Jeep here meant his dad was with him, or at least protected somehow.

“Your driving will get us pulled over in five seconds, we want to avoid attention not get shot off the road by the anti-werewolf militia,” Stiles said as he shut the front door behind them and darted for the Jeep. Because his brain had been working overtime on both flights and he was starting to put it all together now.

He thought as he pulled his seatbelt on and Derek wrenched open the passenger door with distaste, that Derek was about to argue, but then he stiffened as if he’d heard something, eyes going wide and he jumped in.

“Drive,” he barked, before he’d even closed his door.

Stiles floored it, going five over the speed limit the whole way despite the way Derek was braced forward in his seat and scowling at the rate of movement.

“Look, if they see us speeding down the street it’s going to draw even more attention than a werewolf running down it,” Stiles snapped, heart pounding, mind racing as he thought of his dad, of Scott and Lydia and everyone else.

Scott hadn’t had time for specifics it seemed, hadn’t even had time to finish the phone call properly or reply to Stiles’s messages. Stiles wondered if his phone had been caught in the crossfire again, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Derek rolled down the passenger window roughly using the lever and glared at Stiles as if daring him to make a dog comment as he inhaled the sharp night air.

“Turn right,” he barked and the Jeep protested loudly as Stiles jerked the steering hard.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Stiles snapped and Derek turned his head to level him with a withering look. Stiles wasn’t deterred. “It still hurts if you fly through the windshield doesn’t it? Now don’t lean too far out of the window or a streetlamp will take your head clean off, fido.”

He had the brief, glancing thought that it was good their bickering banter hadn’t changed. That, and that they made a pretty good team. He only hoped their success of the last few days, weeks really, was going to hold true for whatever they were getting themselves into now. It was Beacon Hills, after all.

Derek helped him follow Scott’s trail toward an industrial site and as Stiles pressed harder on the gas, even he heard the sounds of gunfire. His stomach dropped and he and Derek locked gazes briefly. He saw his own worry etched into Derek’s expression and swallowed the bile rising in his throat.

“Blood?” he breathed, not wanting to know.

“Not Scott’s. Not the pack’s, I don’t think but…” he frowned then and stiffened in his seat, grabbing for the door handle. “Keep going. Put your foot down.” With that, he leapt out of the door, landing easily on his feet.

Stiles swore, glancing repetitively in the wing mirror only to see Derek quickly keep speed alongside the passenger window, pushing the door shut hard.

A stream of gunfire pinged down from one of the rooftops to their left.

“Snipers!” Stiles shouted and Derek snarled, leaping onto the nearest structure and scaling the concrete, up and out of sight.

Ahead of him, Stiles could see the conflict now, a force of guns flashing in the dark, aiming for a barely covered alcove with wide open arches and he knew, just knew this was them. The militia that were trying to kill everyone he cared about. Maybe they even had? One man side-stepped out of the shadow of the building they were targeting, position prime for fire and Stiles knew without thinking the guy was preparing a kill-shot.

He floored the gas and slammed into him, sending the guy skidding forward with a crunch. Panting hard, Stiles turned out the still open window and saw Scott staring at him from his crouched position behind a pillar.

“You didn’t think you were doing this without me, did ya?” Stiles called out, a little breathless but with a wave of relief filling him at seeing Scott alive.

“Without us?” Derek added as he came up alongside the Jeep once more, evidently having disposed of the snipers that had sidetracked him. Movement just ahead, of more gunmen rounding the corner caught his eye though and his eyes flashed, fangs extending as he leapt forward.

If Stiles hadn’t been head over heels for him before, he sure would’ve been then. Because Derek wasn’t the same erratic, scared little kid in a man’s body. He was focussed, more dangerous and stronger now because of it. He may not have been an alpha but he was unstoppable. Maybe the others felt it too or perhaps their arrival had simply rallied their morale because he saw Malia move, saw Peter and for probably the first time, Stiles appreciated that they were wolves – a pack of wolves acting as one, all of them. He stood struck still as stone at the sight of them working together like a single force and didn’t really come back to himself until what was left of their enemy tore away with a screech of tyres.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about any of this, not a word not a single word,” he rounded on Lydia as the others moved toward…toward Deucalion, broken and limp on the floor.

“We had reasons, really good reasons,” Lydia muttered sheepishly, and as they moved, as Scott and the others focussed on Deucalion, she levelled him with a shrewd glare. “Why didn’t you tell me about Derek?” She challenged under her breath and Stiles wasn’t even sure how she’d known from just a glance, or if it’d only been a hunch that he’d confirmed with the full-facial flush he had absolutely no control over.

“Well that’s a…fairly recent development. Like…sort of shiny new…”

“Please, there’s nothing new about that,” Lydia scoffed under her breath.

He felt Derek tense as he came up behind them, Peter close by, Malia too and he wondered how much they had heard or if they’d been focussed on Deucalion’s last words.

“It’s already started, hasn’t it?” Malia asked.

Stiles frowned. How much had they missed here? “What’s started?”

“It’s an all out war,” Scott breathed, lifting his gaze from Deucalion to each of them in turn, as if confirming each and every member of his pack were unharmed after such a close call. An instinctive motion, Stiles thought, after years of running with wolves.

Stiles’s head was still spinning as Scott embraced Derek, relieved and glad to see him and so well, Stiles thought. Scott was the alpha but Derek represented a force of strength for Scott, a big brother figure and support that Scott didn’t have from anyone else. As they spoke, as Derek explained what had brought them there, Stiles suddenly found himself among all the conflicting feelings that had gripped him since they’d started heading back toward Beacon Hills.

Because their connection, this thing he and Derek had found together, their little den back in Sacramento felt so fresh, new and delicate like a bubble and whatever Beacon Hills touched, it fucked up. But standing there, watching Derek, watching Derek watch him with those soft eyes, he realised every inch of Derek was calm and collected. He was focussed because Stiles was there, anchoring him and whatever else happened, they were going to be okay.

“We found a pack slaughtered in Brazil, there were two words written on the wall, Beacon Hills.”

“You came back for Beacon Hills?” Scott asked, bemused.

“No,” Derek replied simply. “I came back for you.”

“We came back for you,” Stiles corrected.

Malia gave him a wry look. “Yeah, are ‘we’ going to explain that anytime soon?” Stiles honestly forgot how much she loved to tease him. He’d missed her, he’d missed all of them really and he felt a little giddy at the thought of sharing this happiness he’d found, this inner strength he’d cultivated, the person he’d become.

Derek moved to his side then, a subtle but distinctive movement. His eyes searching his, a smile touching the corners of his mouth as Stiles’s gaze dropped to it. It was like Derek felt invincible with Stiles beside him, and that knowledge was heady. The backs of Derek’s fingers brushed his where they hung limp at his side with such subtle, shy tenderness and yet Stiles’s stomach fluttered and he gave a nervous little laugh.

“Sure, we’ve got…stuff and you guys have stuff – a lot of stuff, actually. Huge stuff. But can we go somewhere with heat and light because I haven’t slept properly in like literal days and I’m freezing my ass off out here.”

Derek’s soft little burst of laughter, almost too quiet to hear, was a beautiful sound, a moment of calming clarity, like the last gulp of fresh air before diving into deep water. They had a war to win.

*

When the smoke cleared, when they had defeated the militia that had tried to wipe out anyone with supernatural blood, they stood together in the darkness.

Stiles watched Scott bring a freshly turned, freshly afraid werewolf into their protection, if not their fold. Watched the beginnings of their future unfold before them and for once he didn’t feel afraid. He glanced to Derek, who gave him that little quirk of a smile, saw his own future, as well as his pack and he couldn’t wait for the rest of his life to begin.

The Jeep couldn’t make the drive to Sacramento, so he left her back in Scott’s loving hands to drive the newbie back to the loft. Derek’s old apartment had been renovated by the pack into ‘pack ground zero’ and now housed quite a few of their newest recruits slash recues. Scott had only looked a little bit annoyed, mostly indulgent, when Stiles had called it ‘Scotty’s School for Gifted Youngsters’.

He climbed into the passenger seat of Derek’s Camaro, a new model, not the old classic that apparently Derek had left with Cora. Derek looked so good and Stiles wondered how much begging it’d take to get Derek to stop for a milkshake on the way home. He was guessing not much, Derek was pretty good at taking care of him. He’d even looked ready to take on their friends when they’d effectively outed themselves to everyone in Deaton’s clinic before the final showdown. It had been unnecessary though, as nobody seemed very surprised, except Scott, who bless his heart was oblivious about most things.

“Your dad gave me ‘the speech’ when you were loading the car earlier,” Derek mused as he pulled out onto the quiet main road. “It wasn’t exactly the ‘shotgun’ speech…”

Stiles cringed. “It wasn’t the safe sex speech either was it?”

Derek smirked. “It was more along the lines of, I’m glad it’s you and good luck you’re gonna need it.”

Stiles made a sound that was a mixture of outrage and amusement. “Oh my god, traitor! You guys are gonna gang up on me at Sunday dinners aren’t you?”

Derek’s quiet laughter caressed his ears as Beacon Hills fell away in a blur of twinkling lights into the darkness behind them. He reached out, stretching fingers across Derek’s denim-clad thigh and relaxed back into the seat, staring out at the road ahead where the headlights greeted the tarmac.

Derek’s fingers came down to cover his as he drove.

“Do you think another militia will pop up like that again?” Stiles asked after the lights of Beacon Hills had long since vanished behind them.

“I think it’s always possible. Hunters are still out there. People like Monroe are still out there,” Derek said thoughtfully. “But rumour is spreading, about the Beacon Hills pack, about the safety they provide, their strength. It makes anyone think twice about making an attack like that again, but it also means newly turned werewolves and people like them have somewhere to go instead of getting into trouble, instead of causing mayhem with powers they can’t control.”

Stiles nodded, “it actually helps to have so many people in the town in on the secret too, I guess. They’re like an extension of the pack.” Plus his dad had been elected sheriff again and he had never been more respected by the community. While that kept him rooted in Beacon Hills too for the foreseeable future, Stiles didn’t worry as much as he had before. The bitterness that had once tainted his connection to that town had dissipated somewhat, his bond with his hometown, with the pack stronger than before.

It was funny how it’d taken him and Derek finding each other, really finding each other to enable them to reconnect with the pack and the town the way they were meant to. They would always belong to Beacon Hills and the pack there, it would always be theirs, but what they had with each other was home. Home was wherever Stiles curled up next to Derek at night and the rest of the world was a better place outside because of that.

Stiles couldn’t even put his finger on why, exactly. He thought though, perhaps, that they’d both been two very capable but misguided kids. Two strangers that, for their own reasons, had been forced to learn to take care of themselves. And while they’d both managed fine, they hadn’t necessarily been good at it. They’d been drawn to each other from the start, had always known how to push each other’s buttons but also known that they were both missing something.

Now they were whole. Cracked, a little chipped here and there and definitely dented, but for all those flaws, they were together and complete.

They’d looked out for each other as allies in war, but now they looked after each other as partners, as equals. As the other’s most important thing, the anchor that held them tight, steady and sure no matter how rough the seas around them grew.

“You’re totally gonna rip my throat out if I open this bag of Doritos in your new shiny baby aren’t you?” Stiles mused as he tugged the aforementioned bag out from his backpack that sat between his legs in the footwell.

“With my teeth,” Derek agreed automatically, completely deadpan. But his hand squeezed Stiles’s gently where they were still connected.

Stiles grinned.

There was also the fact that no one quite enjoyed Stiles’s own special brand of crazy like Derek did. That sort of unconditional love was something more powerful than anything, supernatural or otherwise. It was hard not to feel invincible knowing that. And when Derek looked at him sometimes, even then when it was just a quick peek between keeping his eyes on the road, like he couldn’t help himself, he could see Derek felt the exact same way.

“So at the end of the month, my boss is holding this sort of…I guess the term would be a dinner,” he began as he gently wriggled his hand free from Derek’s to open the dreaded Doritos. “It’s like this unofficial thing he does, to sort of congratulate us all for our hard work. Like a work’s Christmas party except it’s way too early for Christmas. But anyway, we’re allowed to bring significant others.”

When Derek glanced at him again, Stiles waggled his eyebrows and stuffed some Doritos in his mouth. “How significant do you wanna be, Derek?”

Derek flushed but turned back to the road. Honestly he rocked the angry-embarrassed thing, Stiles was so gone for him.

“Is he going to recognise me?” Derek replied eventually, but as he did so, Stiles leaned over to poke a Dorito into his mouth, forcing him to partake in the desecration of the Camaro’s spotless interior and lingering new car smell.

“Only one way to find out hubby-wolf.”

“Oh my god, Stiles, no pet names.”

“I’m also thinking we can probably fit a queen bed in the apartment,” Stiles continued as if he hadn’t spoken. We should stop at Ikea tomorrow. Just something with a little more room for you to, you know, have at me with all your wolfie desires. The full moons are gonna rock.”

Derek made a noise that was torn between dismay and adoration and annoyance all at once and Stiles grinned, stuffing his mouth full again before poking another chip between Derek’s lips. He prodded it until it was almost fully in Derek’s mouth, but when Derek resignedly sucked it in fully, he nipped at the end of Stiles’s fingertip, looking both irritated and pleased with himself.

Stiles beamed and dusted his fingers off before starting to mess with the radio.

Derek had to know what he was in for, after all.

[jamielea81]

Conversations

Chapter 8

Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: A couple of curse words, fluff, overthinking, Scott being a little shit.

Word Count: 3,210

A/N: I know nothing about the lives of the Evans family and mean no harm. This is purely fiction and for fun. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! The tag list is now closed. Each chapter tends to get reblogged from me a few times, so if you’re following me, you can’t miss it.

*Italics are internal thoughts

“It’s like I don’t even know you anymore,” Scott whined.

“You’re being dramatic.”

Scott was facetiming you and being his normal grumpy self. If you didn’t love him so much, you would have disconnected the call ten minutes prior.

“I thought we had no secrets,” he plainly said.

“We never agreed to that. I’m pretty sure there are a million things I don’t know about you,” you threw back at him, one eyebrow raised.

He scoffs and shakes his head with a little bit of a smile coming through.

I knew he’d break.

**

Chris had gone back to Massachusetts two days prior and you still hadn’t stopped smiling.  

After sharing a few more sweet kisses that night, the two of you watched the sunrise before making the short walk back to your house. It was the first time you had experienced both the sunset and sunrise with someone all in the same day. Sleep deprivation never felt so good.

You dropped Chris off an hour later. He wanted you to come inside to say goodbye to his mom, but with half your makeup worn off and the giddy look on your face, it wasn’t the impression you wanted to give. Especially since the first one didn’t play out so well.

With the two of you parked like teenagers outside his rented home, you struggled with what to say.

“Thanks for having me over,” Chris offered with a lazy smile.

“Thanks for coming over and for lunch.”

You turned in your seat to face him head on. Chris grabbed your hand intertwining your fingers.

“I hate to be a bummer, but I don’t know what I can come back to visit. But I want to see you again. Don’t want to leave today and have you thinkin’ this is it,” he said.

You nodded your head numbly, trying to keep the last eighteen or so hours in your mind solely. No use in being sad right now. Leaning forward, you captured his lips once more. The two of you pulling away with sleepy smiles.

“Call me when you get home,” you said.

Chris lifted your linked hands, bringing them to his lips, and kissing yours softly.

“Of course,” he said.

**

“Fine…You still should have told me,” Scott insisted.

You rubbed your right eye with the palm of your hand, momentarily freaking out before you realized you didn’t have any makeup on.

“I don’t really know what it all means,” you sighed out. “Okay, that’s not completely true.” Scott chuckled at your indecision. “It was nice and I kind of wanted to keep it to myself for a while.” You shrugged a shoulder.

“Well, he can’t stop gushing about you,” Scott replied. That made you perk up.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it was like the first thing he told me when he got home. No mention of Disney, just Sassy,” he said.

“See, I didn’t have to tell you. You guys tell each other everything. Which honestly concerns me.” You gave him a smirk. “But what did he say?!”

Scott laughed, shaking his head at the same time.

“I don’t know…Think I need to start keeping my relationships with the two of you separate.”

Sticking out your bottom lip, you give him the biggest pouty face you could muster causing Scott to chuckle again.

“All I’m going to say is he said you spent the night together and it was wonderful.”

“Wait. Wait. Hold up. That sounds like our night was more than PG13!” you exclaimed.

“Oh my god! I didn’t even think of that!” Scott laughed. “He didn’t mean it that way, I swear. But that’s all you’re getting from me.”

“Fine,” you groaned.

**

A week had passed and the endless smile had finally dissipated. You weren’t upset or anything like that. No. The euphoric state you were in had just…faded. Chris and you spoke or texted over the last week, but reality set in that the night you shared would probably be no more than a night. This of course was not stated with actual words between the two of you. Saying it out loud seemed much too scary. But since it wasn’t spoken, you could only assume that Chris had come to the same conclusion. Really, what were the two of you? The calls and texts were much the same as they had always been. Teasing each other, a good amount of flirting, small talk about your days, and maybe a little Scott talk. It was really just getting your mind to wrap around the idea that Chris was your friend that you happened to have kissed. A few times. Maybe that was good enough.

**

Cirque du Soleli was premiering a new show called Drawn to Life, after being closed for some time in Disney Springs, the shopping and entertainment district at Walt Disney World resort. Jana had agreed to be your date, but since she was coming from work, she was running a bit behind. You busied yourself with a drink on the outdoor patio at House of Blues, letting the dark rum and mix of juices take your mind off the busy week. Grabbing your phone out of your purse, you decided to give Chris a call since Jana wouldn’t be arriving for at least another ten minutes.

“Well, hello there sweetheart. What are you up to?” His soothing voice answered.

“Hey there yourself. I’m just drinking alone. At a bar. Woe is me,” you replied.

“I don’t like the sound of that. Tough week?” Chris asked.

“Wasn’t too bad. Just waiting on Jana who’s running late.”

“Oh, you two. Do I need to warn the cops that you’re out together?” he teased.

“Well, we’re on Disney property, so we can’t get into too much trouble. Watchin’ the new Cirque show that’s opening tonight for the paper. They actually gave me a plus one and I couldn’t think of a better date,” you bated him.

“Really Sassy? Aiming low I see?”

“I haven’t a clue at what you’re implying Mr. Evans.”

“Mmhm, I’m sure. She gonna kiss you goodnight when the evening is over?” he asked.

“Well, she’s married. So…”

Chris chuckled at that. “So, what you’re sayin’ is she doesn’t know about that little spot right below your ear that gets you all hot and bothered?”

This man will be the death of you some day. It took a moment for you to compose yourself. Clearing your throat quickly and blowing out a breath.

“No, no. Sh-she doesn’t know that. But you barely know that, so dial it down buddy,” you giggled.

“Ah-huh. Alright, sweetheart. I’ll try to rein it in.” There was a beat of silence on both ends, the only sound was each other’s breath.  “God, I miss you,” he softly spoke.

With your heart hammering in your ears, you licked your lips. “I miss you too.”

You felt a tap on your shoulder, turning your head you saw Jana who gave you a silent wave.

“Um, babe, Jana’s here now,” you said, struggling to get your voice.

“Alright. Have a good night and don’t get into any trouble,” he warned.

“I promise nothing. Talk to you tomorrow?” Why you asked it as a question, you weren’t sure.

“Always. Goodnight sweetheart.”

“Goodnight,” you replied, hitting the end call button.

Dropping your phone into your purse, you turned back to Jana, gesturing for her to take a seat.

“Who was that?”

“Chris.”

You’re sure she can see the heat in your face, but you don’t care at the moment. He said he missed you. You’re glad you aren’t the only one.

“How are you holding up?” Jana asked.

Lifting your glass to your lips, you took a sip of the mostly watered-down rum. “I’m doing good. Chris is still my friend and that’s all I can really ask for,” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

Jana gave you a pointed look, setting her bag on the tabletop, resting her arms on either side of it. “Really?” she asked.

“Of course, not!” you practically shouted. Had it been anyone else, they would have flinched at your sudden loss of composure. Taking a calming breath, you composed yourself once more. “We did just have a nice conversation, so I’m feeling better. I’m fine.”

“Yep. Sure, seems like it.” She stood up, pushing the chair back in. “Let’s go. Time to join the circus.”

You knew she probably would have given you a lecture about going with the flow and learning to discuss your feelings if you had time before the show started. And if you were an adult about the situation, you would listen to her.

**

Whenever your phone rang during the middle of the day from one of the Evans boys, you knew something was up. Seeing Chris’ name on your screen surprised you a bit. He had been filming the last couple of weeks for another Apple TV+ series, so it was a lot more texting with a few phone calls sprinkled in. Usually just as you were falling asleep.

“I’m sorry, who’s this?” you answered.

You hear a deep chuckle on the other end of the line. “Funny. Did you delete my contact or something?” Chris asked.

“Not this week. Not yet anyway,” you teased.

The newsroom was packed this afternoon being that it was Friday and mostly everyone was required to make an appearance. You pushed away from your desk, getting to your feet to find an empty conference room.

“Not this week? What did I do last week?” He sounds tired. You know he loves to work, but you really wish he’d take a little more time for himself.

You found an open room, quickly shutting the door, plopping your butt in a chair at the large round table. “Hmm. If you don’t know, that makes a bigger case for me to delete you as soon as we hang up.” The chairs in the conference rooms were always much nicer than the ones on the floor.

Wonder if I could swap mine for one of these without anyone noticing?

“Maybe I could change your mind,” Chris offered.

“I’m listening,” you said, tapping your fingernails against the polished wood table.

“Could you take off work for a couple of days? I’m going to be a New York City for a few days, and my schedule isn’t going to be packed. Thought maybe I could convince you to come see me.”

You wouldn’t say it out loud, but you most definitely would make something work. It had only been a month since your weekend together, but that month felt more like a dozen. With his filming schedule, you planned on waiting another couple of months before you would even bring up the idea of seeing him.

“When exactly? I’m sure I could get away, but if it’s a Friday, it will be a little harder to swing it.”

“You don’t think I know that Sassy? Fridays you have meetings and you can’t be late,” he said, a smirk in his voice.

“Kudos to you, Mr. Evans.”

“I’m gettin’ in Monday night, late.”

“This Monday?”

Crap. Maybe not.

“Sweetheart, I’m not calling you last minute. The week after.”

Relaxing a bit when you realized you’d have a little over a week to prepare rather than just a couple of days. You’d have to look up flights and hotels to see what you could find. Figure out what part of New York he’d be in. Knowing you probably wouldn’t be able to afford where ever he was staying, you wanted to at least be close.

“I can make that work. Maybe come in Tuesday morning and leave Thursday night?”

“Whatever you can make happen Y/N, I’ll take.”

You smiled at his words. “I’ll look at some flights and hotels. Where are you staying?”

“No, no, no, sweetheart. I’m flying you out here. My treat,” he said.

“Chris, no. I can’t have you do that. That’s too big of a gift,” you reasoned.

The two of you were friends, maybe something a bit more, but mostly just friends. It was much too much for him to paying for trips.

“Let me do this. I want to see you and it’s really not that big of a deal.”

You shook your head and then rolled your eyes at yourself remembering he couldn’t see you.

“Let me at least pay for the flight, Chris.”

“You’re frustrating, you know that?” he groaned.

“I’ve been told that,” you chuckled.

“If you’d feel more comfortable, I can get you your own room. But if I’m being honest, I’d like you to stay with me,” he said softly.

Holy shit.

“Ye-yeah. Yeah. I’d like that. To stay with you I mean.”

Chris chuckled at your response. “One room it is. Let me know you flight info and I’ll arrange a car to pick you up.”

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll do that.” You had a dopey smile on your face, but you couldn’t help it.

“Talk to you soon, sweetheart.”

“Bye babe,” you replied.

If you weren’t at work, you’d pretty much be freaking out. The freak out would need to wait.

**

Your flight was booked for seven in the morning on Tuesday, flying home at four in the afternoon on Thursday. Not a lot of time, but at least it was two full days. Two full nights as well. That was a whole other thing. You were spending two nights with Chris. Presumably in one bed. Unless he booked a room with more than one bed. Who were you kidding? He probably doesn’t even book his own rooms. He was there for work, so the room probably only had one bed.

You quickly fired off a text to Jana.

Y/N: Am I just a booty call?

You knew Chris didn’t think of you that way. He was your friend. You were close friends with his brother. But being whisked away to New York for a couple of nights sure made you feel a little bit like one. And you agreed to sleeping in the same room.

Jana: In general, or??

Bitch.

Your friends were all trouble and as soon as you get back from New York, you were going to look for new ones.

Y/N: Thanks, I’m about to call your husband instead.

Jana: He told me to type that!

Y/N: 🥺

Jana: You are not a booty call. Chris lives a different lifestyle from most people. If the two of you want to spend time together, flying to different cities is probably how it’s going to go.

She was right. You knew she was. But your dumb brain didn’t want to accept it.

**

Nine at night was entirely too early to go to bed. Usually you weren’t even in your room that early, but it was Monday and you were trying to fall asleep at an earlier hour since your alarm was set for three in the morning. Why you picked a seven AM flight was beyond you.

Y/N: I’m going to bed early. Talk to you tomorrow.

You waited a few minutes for Scott to text you back. He was in L.A. if you were remembering correctly, so it was a lot earlier than normal.

Instead of texting back, he was calling.

“Hello, Scott,” you answered.

“Hi Sassy. I’m trying to have a nice dinner with Zach and you’re interrupting what was once a beautiful evening.”

Yet I’m the sassy one?

“I’m pretty sure by you calling me, you’re interrupting dinner with Zach. Tell him hello from me by the way,” you replied.

“I hate when you’re right,” he chuckled.

“Just stating facts, sweetie. You didn’t have to call, just wanted to let you know I was turning in early.”

“Is your flight early?” he asked.

“Yeah, seven. Not sure what I was thinkin’ there.”

“Thinkin’ about gettin’ some,” he murmured.

“Scott! Dude! What the fuck?”

Rather than respond he just continued to laugh on the other end of the line.

“I’m just saying. Don’t kill the messenger here,” he continued to chuckle.

“What happened to keeping yourself separate from Chris and my relationship?”

“Uhh, yeah. You’re right. My lips are sealed,” Scott replied.

 “Unanswered prayers!”

“Watch yourself, Sassy,” he said sternly. “But have a safe flight. Give Chris a hug and kiss for me.” It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde all of a sudden. So serious one second and nice and sweet the second. Scott Evans was a man of mystery.

“Yeah, thanks, Grumpy. Goodnight.”

“Bye, love.”

**

One of the positives about taking an early flight was that security was a lot easier to get through so early in the morning. You had said for years you were going to get Pre-Check but you always just put it off. Going through a short security check was nice.

Picking up a coffee and a bagel, you made your way to the gate. Boarding wasn’t for another hour, but that gave you time to finish your food, use the restroom, and over think the trip.

Sigh.

No amount of crying babies and couples arguing about which bag had the phone charger could distract you from knowing you’d be seeing Chris in a matter of hours. Do you greet him with a hug, high five, or a kiss? I mean, really, it could be anything.

Sigh.

Y/N: Let’s say I wanted something more to happen on this getaway. I’m not saying that’s what I want. Hypothetically speaking.

You chewed on your lip waiting for Jana’s reply. You should have bought a pack of gum. Your lips would be raw before you even touched down in JFK.

Jana: Hypothetically you want to bang him

Y/N: Where is that coming from? I never said that.

Jana: It might be time you spoke to a professional.

She probably isn’t wrong.

Y/N: Let’s say the answer is yes. Too soon?

Jana: That’s entirely up to you. If that’s what you both want.

Y/N: It’s me. I have no idea what I want. I wish there was some magical way to know what the other person is thinking.

Jana: Doesn’t work that way babe

Y/N: Yeah

Brooks: Just bang him!

Jana really needed to stop telling Brooks everything.

You quickly replied to Brooks’ message.

Y/N: Not a word to Scott.

Now that two of them talked, who knows how quickly this conversation would get back to Chris.

Brooks: My lips are sealed.

Damnit! That’s what Scott said last night.

**

Because you bought your seat a week out, you ended up buying an upgraded seat in Delta Comfort which essentially gave you a few more inches of leg room and a seat just past the first-class section. The bigger benefit for you was being boarded sooner. Being able to skip most of the standing around the gate like watching a street act was nothing more than a blessing for your nerves.

Settled into your seat, you decided to send Chris a text before powering down your phone.

Y/N: Hey there, Delilah What's it like in New York city? I'm a thousand miles away But, girl, tonight you look so pretty Yes, you do

Chris: Cute. Now get your ass here so I can kiss you.

Maybe you knew what you wanted.

Chapter 9

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[firemblem-fics]

parents? PT. 1 | claude

firstly this is the longest thing ive ever written yay

secondly, this is only a part one. this is kind of introducing it! the good stuff will happen in part two i promise just give me a bit! thank u 

Warnings: cursing, death, angst, claudes an asshole but also so are you at times, Claude makes a jab at single parenting just for the sake of the story I’m sorry

— — —

The village was in ruins. Nobody was spared in the fire as three demonic beasts rampaged through the rubble. The Golden Deer house fought valiantly to save everybody, but oftentimes such a thing simply could not happen. The beasts were too strong, knocking out four of the team’s own fighters before they finally defeated them. 

Many people, like Marianne, were visibly distraught at such a tremendous loss. She was being comforted by Lysithea, who only held a rather troubled look in her eyes. Ignatz seemed crestfallen as well, as did some others. You, on the other hand, were rather angry. You were furious at the destruction around you. The fires, the destroyed homes, the lost lives. 

It was under Claude’s leadership that these people weren’t saved. The professor was dealing with other matters, so she couldn’t be there to lead. Mistakes were made and they cost people their lives. You’d never truly cared for the boy, finding his “schemes” and his cocky and nosy personality rather annoying, but this was the icing on the cake for you.

Bristling in anger, you marched over to said boy, pointing a harsh finger into his chest. “This is YOUR fault.”

“My fault?” Claude nearly laughed. “Yeah, sure, some things happened, but that's what happens in battle, Y/N. This was a collective failure.” 

“Those things cost people their lives, Claude. I can’t believe you’re so inconsiderate.”

Claude’s eyes lit up a little in frustration. “I'm inconsiderate? As if I didn’t try my hardest to save everyone? I’m new at leading. I’m only 17, if you don’t fucking remember. It’s not like I knew this was going to happen-“

A loud wail interrupted him. You furrowed your brows, looking at Claude before turning and looking around. 

“What’s that?” 

Claude shrugged, “A survivor, I hope.” 

You ignored him and ran in the direction of the noise, stopping at a charred house. The fire had stopped, but the crying hadn’t. As you walked inside the burnt skeleton of the house, you hoped that the fire didn’t seriously hurt someone. They’d have trouble making it back to the monastery to be healed. 

Another cry sounded as you moved into another room of the house. There, underneath a small, wooden-framed bed, laid a child. He was no older than 6, tears making trails down his ash-covered face. You kneeled down, trying to make yourself less intimidating to coax him out. 

“Hey buddy,” You reached a hand out, internally grimacing as the little boy flinched away, “We’re not here to hurt you. We need to get you somewhere safe.” 

The little boy looked around. “Wh-where is everybody?” 

Your heart broke and you looked back at Claude, who had followed you, your eyes pleading for help. He sighed and knelt down beside you. “They all had to leave. It was really, really dangerous so they had to keep you safe. We’re here now to keep you even safer.”

That seemed to have calmed the little boy down at least a little. He slowly and shakily walked towards you. You held out both arms, silently asking to pick him up. He obliged and nearly crawled into you and you wrapped yourself tightly around him, whispering reassurances as he sat on your hip. You looked at Claude next, your face asking, “What the hell do we do?” 

Claude only shrugged and walked back to the rest of the team, leaving you to trail slowly behind. You’d take him back to the monastery and go from there. The orphanage was rather full- there was no way they’d be able to care for another one. 

--- --- ---

“We can’t help him in the way that you’re asking, Y/N. I apologize.” 

Your heart dropped. Rhea had asked you to talk to the lady at the orphanage anyways, hoping that she would be able to accept him. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. 

“Then what’s the purpose of an orphanage?” You didn’t want to yell seeing as the boy- August, you’d learned- was sleeping on your hip. “Aren’t you supposed to take in kids? Help them? Raise them? He’s lost everything. And now he can’t even get a home?” 

The lady only sighed. “I’m really sorry. He wouldn’t be getting the attention that you’re asking me to provide. I’ve got other children to tend to.” She went to walk away, but then stopped. “Just keep him to yourself if you’re that worried about him.” She huffed, slamming the door closed behind her.

Keeping him? You thought. I wouldn’t be opposed, but I’ve got class. And fighting. And I’m seventeen. Ah, fuck it. My parents would love him. 

You walked away, careful not to wake August, and made your way to the audience chambers where Rhea was. You’d only hoped she’d let you take responsibility. But you’d never given her a reason not to trust you, right?

“Absolutely not.” 

Wrong. 

“What? Seteth, why not? I’m responsible.I can do it- August’s well behaved. And- and I’ve got my friends too. They can help a little. He’s not a helpless baby and he can do things on his own, he just trusts me a little more to help him.” You pleaded. At this point, you knew that nobody would take care of him. You couldn’t just leave him. 

“You’re just a child yourself, Y/N. You know nothing about raising a child.” He argued back. 

“Neither do new parents! What are you gonna do next, tell new parents that they can’t keep their first child? Please, I’m responsible. Lady Rhea, tell him I’m responsible.” You turned to the Archbishop, who was simply standing there.

“I believe this will be a good experience. Y/N has never given me any reason to distrust her.”

“Lady Rhea, this is absurd-”

“However, she has to find someone to assist her if the workload becomes too much to handle. I, on the other hand, will take a look into the orphanage to see what we can do. The only absurdity here is how they have turned away children.” 

“Thank you, Lady Rhea. I won’t disappoint you.” With that, you left the chambers and walked through the yards, ignoring the strange looks that people gave you as you headed back to the Golden Deer Classroom. August stayed on your hip with his head resting against your shoulders, his small fingers twirling your hair around. 

You stopped outside of the classroom and called the little boy’s name, waiting until he looked at you to continue. “We’re gonna go learn now, but you’ve gotta stay quiet. If you need to talk, whisper to me, okay?”

August nodded. “Yes ma’am.” 

Hm, he has manners. That’s perfect. 

You quietly opened the door, hoping that nobody would notice. Your hopes were in vain. Everyone turned around at the sound of the giant doors, their eyes moving from you to the little blonde boy on your hip. Reactions varied- Hilda practically cooed at him while Lorenz could only watch you take the only open seat with disgust. You were disgusted too, but it was because the only open seat was next to Claude. As Byleth resumed teaching, Claude slid a note over to you. 

‘Was single parenting on your bucket list?’ 

You rolled your eyes, looking over at August to make sure he wasn’t watching you write before replying. 

‘Fuck you. Rhea said that I need to have someone help me if I have trouble, and just for that comment I’ll ask for it to be you.’ 

Claude read the note and chuckled quietly, crumpling it up and putting it in his pocket. You assumed that the conversation was over, so you allowed August to crawl into your lap and lay against you to have a small nap. The poor kid had a long day, after all. This didn’t stop Claude from leaning over to you and whispering. 

“So, does that mean you’ll call me daddy?” 

You choked on your own spit suddenly, waking up August and making your other classmates look at you. Byleth turned around and gave you a look, but you could only wave them off as you kept coughing. You glared at Claude, who had a grin on his face. God, he loved watching you suffer, didn’t he?

He kept smirking at you, but lost it when you grew your own. If he was going to tease you about helping a kid, you were going to make sure he’d pay the price. As his eyebrows furrowed a little with worry, you asked, “Can you walk with me to see Lady Rhea after class?” 

--- --- ---

“Lady Rhea, I told you she wasn’t responsible enough. Look, she comes back two hours later and already requests for assistance.” 

First of all, Fuck you Seteth. Second of all, this was just revenge. 

“Okay, listen, I don’t know why I’m here either-”

“I’d like to request assistance just in case. Say I have to take a shower or do something and August can’t be with me? I’d like to be able to have someone else help care for him when I might not be able to for a bit.” You interrupted Claude. 

“What makes you think that Claude is a good candidate to help you? Why are you choosing him?” Seteth retorted. 

Spite, you wanted to say. “He’s the leader of the Golden Deer. Heir to the Alliance. He’s been able to take care of us through battles and such, how much harder could it be to help take care of one child? Even then, I’ll only need his help for a few minutes at a time.” You said. Damn, you were good at acting like you actually tolerated him. 

“Lady Rhea, Seteth, please, I don’t want-”

“Plus, would you really trust anyone else in the Golden Deer to help me?” You cut him off again. 

Claude could only glare at you as Rhea weighed her decision. You smirked before turning to check on August, who had occupied himself by spinning in circles around a column. You whispered August’s name to get his attention, holding out your hand as he came towards you. He placed his smaller hand in yours and stood patiently in between you and Claude

Rhea’s face soon bloomed into a soft smile. “Whenever you need assistance, Claude will be there.”

You thanked her and bowed, following behind the Alliance heir as he nearly stormed out of the chambers. When you got outside, he whipped around to face you. 

“What the hell was that?” He growled, “Revenge? For what, one simple comment? A little joke? And now I’m stuck waiting on you if you ‘ever need my assistance’, whatever that bullshit means.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows, pulling August close to you. “First of all, watch your language. He’s only six. Secondly, I think your comment was insensitive. You were making fun of single parents and my bucket list- which you know is a big deal for me.”

“Alright, whatever. I’m sorry for saying something about single parenting, I shouldn’t have, but I think I have the right to have an opinion about your dumb little list.”

“Claude, you don’t even know why it’s important to me, you just want a reason to make me upset-” 

“Well? You deserve to be upset. I’m upset too, because now I have to help a brat take care of a little brat. I didn’t ask for this shit.” Claude rolled his eyes and walked away. 

You stood still for a bit, watching him leave with angry tears in your eyes. You snapped out of it when a tiny hand pulled at your shirt. You looked at August. 

“Can we go ‘M sleepy.” He yawned. 

“Of course. We can go to my room and you can sleep for the rest of the night.” 

You made a mental note to grab dinner for the both of you once he was asleep and scooped him up, letting him doze off again against your shoulder as you walked back to your dorm room. The poor boy had a very rough day- and so did you. A nap sounded very nice. 

[immortalcoelacanth]

HLVRAI Oneshot: “Good”

I crave more wholesome interactions with Joshua...

Word count: 2352

Summary:  Benrey was not human, he was not an alien, he was just… something else. Something dangerous, something destructive, something that had nearly killed Gordon over and over again. He was… bad.

Right?

“I’ve gotta take care of some business, but I should be back in a couple hours.” Gordon quickly explained as he pulled on his jacket, smacking his arm off the wall in the process.

Benrey watched, confused as to what the rush was and uncertain as to what Gordon meant. He was coming back at some point so things would be chill until then-

“Make sure Joshua doesn’t break anything.” Gordon quickly added, not noticing how the smile on Benrey’s face dropped and the slate grey orbs that floated out of his mouth. “There’s food in the fridge-shit, can you even use a microwave?!”

“i make my gamer fuel in there.” Benrey shrugged, trying to look casual and composed. “like eggs-”

“You what-NO! YOU DO NOT PUT EGGS-oh my god.” Gordon groaned, pressing his head into his hands for a moment to wallow in the sheer mental agony of trying to process such a horrible cooking choice before scrambling to get ready once more. “No eggs. No microwave.”

“no me gusta?”

“You’re like an old internet meme.”

An Uno card was chucked at Gordon’s face, which was quickly dodged. He glared at Benrey, ignoring the faint laughter coming from the other man, and pulled his keys out of his pocket.

It was at this moment that Benrey began internally panicking. He could handle being on his own, but having to watch after a kid-

“Text me if anything happens or if you need help!” Gordon called out as he made his way out the door and locked it behind him.

He did not see how Benrey stretched an arm out after him, face panicked and worried as he tried to beg the other man to stay because oh shit oh shit I don’t know what to do-

It had been about three hours since Gordon had left on whatever business he needed to complete. Fortunately, Joshua had been rather chill about the entire situation, happy to be able to play games with Benrey and just relax.

Of course, the kid had only had a melted cheese sandwich for dinner since Benrey had no clue what to really make for him, but Joshua had not complained. For a while the mock guardian had waited to see if the kid would be poisoned by the makeshift meal, but all seemed to be fine.

Benrey did not get… food, or at least the type of food that Gordon typically made. He was all for fast and easy to prepare, and only somewhat edible. Cereal, frozen meals, stale candy, that was the good shit.

Not good for a growing child according to Gordon.

He sighed and dragged a hand down his face as he watched Joshua flop over the sofa and watch tv. His legs were up in the air and his head was hanging off the sofa, he was basically upside down. A humorous sight, something that helped to alleviate the worry in Benrey.

He was so stupidly worried.

A part of him wondered why Gordon had left Joshua in his care, even if there had been some sort of an emergency he needed to take care of. Tommy made a much better babysitter! Coomer did too!

Literally anyone was better than him! He was…

Dangerous.

Benrey knew he was the furthest thing from safe due to both his nature and lack of knowledge in practically everything. He had no experience in dealing with any of this simple human stuff, had no clue what was potentially dangerous and was just…

A hazard.

It was something he had come to terms with some time ago, recalling all the things he had done back in Black Mesa and how easily it had happened. How easily he had killed innocent people, not that he felt guilty for ending those lives, but it was something he was aware of.

Aware of how potentially dangerous he could be. Aware of how many times he had hurt Gordon and nearly killed him without meaning to-

He did not dislike himself because of this, per say. There were times where he looked back on certain actions with distaste, all of them involving hurting Gordon in some way, and continuously reminded himself that he needed to do better, be better.

It was exhausting, and now he had a kid to look after for who knows how long-

“Benrey?”

Ah shit. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“yooooo, what’s up little joshie?” Benrey casually waved at the kid who was now standing in front of him, having abandoned both the sofa and television. “josh dude, bro josh- brosh.”

The last nickname got a laugh out of Joshua, though the laughter quickly faded out and was replaced by a silence mixed with the muted noises of the television. Not wanting to have to deal with any awkward silences, especially when he was in a bit of a mood already, he asked another question.

“you-you bored of the tv or somethin’? wanna play some games and chill?”

Joshua quickly shook his head. He actually seemed… nervous, which was weird since he was relaxed earlier. Did something happen? Did Gordon text him something? Had something bad happened to Gordon?

“Benrey… d-do you like me?”

Well that was a loaded question.

The ex-security guard let out a nervous laugh. “wh-what do… do you mean by that, little joshie bro?”

“You kinda act like some of the kids at school who don’t like me.” The explanation was rushed, nothing more than a sharp exhale. “You talk to me and play games with me and stuff but you always look… uncomfortable.”

Shit, shit, shit-

“And…” Oh god, was the kid starting to cry now?! Water could be seen building up in Joshua’s eyes, and he sniffled. “I-If you’re only doing it cause you wanna make dad happy, that’s okay. Dad should be happy since he’s stressed a lot-”

“no, no, no!” Benrey quickly interrupted while waving his arms, hoping to stop the young boy’s spiral into sorrow. “it’s not you-i’m just… just-”

Words, why were words such a struggle?! In his stressed state, he placed his hands on his helmet and groaned, grey bubbles floating out of his mouth.

Grey means that he’s not okay. Not that Joshua knew this, of course. All the kid knew was that Benrey was having some sort of a reaction to his words, and that it did not seem to be a good one. He anxiously fiddled with his hands as he watched the ex-security guard. It looked as though he was contemplating leave, probably planning on going to his room and wallowing in his sorrowful emotions, and this was when Benrey decided to speak up.

“bbbbbbbbb, joshie-you… you’re a good kiddo. cool pro gamer.” He somewhat rambled, as close to rambling as he could get at the moment. “you don’t-you’re not… th-those kids are wrong a-and you need to eat your veggies-”

Oh this was a disaster.

Partially giving up, Benrey groaned and walked over to the sofa. He plopped down and buried his head in his hands. What should he do, what should he do-

Joshua, seeing the obvious strife that the ex-security guard was going through at the moment, walked over to the sofa and sat down beside him. Despite thinking that Benrey did not like him, the last thing the young boy wanted was a bad relationship with the strange man.

Partly due to the fact that Joshua did enjoy his presence, and his dad clearly cared about the man to some extent. It was just that sometimes he could see Benrey cringe before talking to him, the hesitation during some of their interactions and…

It hurt, plain and simple.

Benrey cringed as he felt the cushion dip as Joshua joined him, and he hesitantly lifted his head up to look at the kid. He took in the worried expression on his face, as well as the lingering anxiety and tears that were present.

“it’s me.” He blurted out, not knowing how else to phrase it. Upon seeing Joshua’s confused expression, he kept speaking. “kids, i dunno… kids are tough little dude, but they’re also fragile and i... don’t wanna h-hurt you on accident cause you’re cool and feetman’s special kiddo-”

He was not going to mention the time he had jokingly insulted Joshua’s appearance. He was not the best at navigating conversations, but even he knew that would be a stupid move.

“and i’m… me.” He gestured to himself, pointing out some of the key features that made him look so different from your typically human. The glowing eyes, the sharp teeth, the talons that would appear and disappear.

“i’m-i’m not safe. i... hurt your dad and-and a bunch of other people and you’re so... soft’n squishy cause you’re a kid and i don’t wanna hurt you too.”

“Would you accidentally hurt me?” Joshua’s question was simple, and so was the answer that Benrey had for it.

“course not, you’re my little gamer bro.” He immediately replied, momentarily surprised at how coherent his words were. “we’re... we’re buddies’n stuff, right? i wouldn’t let that happen if-if i could stop it, y’know?”

“We’re buddies? Really?” The shine of tears in Joshua’s eyes seemed to be replaced by the glow of excitement and joy.

Oh god, he was getting the warm fuzzies-

“yeah we’re like-like two peas in a pod.”

To celebrate the wholesome conclusion that had been reached, the pair decided to engage in some friendly competition by playing some video games. Of course, Benrey did hold back a bit so he did not totally crush Joshua during their various bouts of fighting and racing.

The kid totally did not kick his butt, not in the slightest.

As what tends to happen with kids around his age, Joshua slowly began to grow more and more tired as time passed, although he did not want to go to his room to sleep.

He was still a bit worried about his dad, after all.

So, he ended up having the brilliant idea of asking Benrey if he could watch him play some video games. Fortunately for the young boy, the ex-security guard was quick to agree with his idea. This allowed Joshua to stay by his side and relax.

At some point he did end up passing out, not that Benrey noticed for two reasons. The first being his hyper focus that was directed towards the game he was playing, and the second being that he was also getting pretty tired.

Which was quite unusual since Benrey was a night owl, but he assumed it had something to do with the emotionally draining conversation from earlier.

Slowly, his eyes began to shut and the controller started to slip from his grip. By the time it hit the ground, he was fast asleep.

Hours later, Benrey was roused out of his nap as he felt a warm hand resting on his shoulder, gently shaking him. A voice whispered his name over and over. It was familiar.

Gordon…?

Bleary eyes cracked open, Benrey groaning faintly in annoyance as he waited for his vision to clear, only seeing the blurry outline of some figure. Plus there was that weird weight on his side. Felt kinda nice, even if he didn’t know what it was.

After rubbing his eyes and getting the grit out of them, he found himself staring up into Gordon’s face, and was greeted by the surprisingly warm smile on it. He could feel his cheeks flush as his heart pumped faster in his chest.

Gordon looked so cute in the dim lighting provided by the tv, highlighting his cheekbones and the scruffy beard. His eyes seemed to shimmer and glow, and every bit of his messy hair reflected the light-

“Thanks for taking care of Joshie.” Gordon suddenly said, snapping Benrey out of his thoughts. The ex-security guard continued stare at him as he continued speaking. “It looks like you two have a fun time.”

… wha?

His confusion must have been obvious as the other man was quick to gesture towards whatever the weight on his side was, and a quick glance had Benrey inhaling sharply.

At some point during the night, Joshua had fallen asleep against him. The young boy was curled up on his side, arms and knees tucked close to his chest and he practically snuggled up to Benrey. He was still sound asleep, somehow.

A miracle based on how loud Benrey’s heart was beating. Surely the kid could hear it too.

He must have fallen asleep at some point, but it was surprising that he had not moved or gone to his room to sleep in his bed.

Benrey hesitantly lifted a hand up before gently placing it on Joshua’s back. The kid mumbled something in his sleep and stirred, not waking up. Gordon’s smile grew at the sight and he fully stood up. For a moment, Benrey assumed he was going to pick the kid up and take him to his bed, but this assumption was proven wrong when Gordon started quietly cleaning up the living room.

“psssst, feetman? gaydon? wh-when are you gonna move josh dude?”

Gordon turned around, the smug smirk on his face letting him know that he was about to face his demise. “Move him? But he looks so comfortable.”

“feetman don’t do this to me-”

“C’mon, Benrey, do you really wanna make Joshua sad? Just look at how happy he is.”

Benrey blinked at his words and, with a bit of prompting, looked down at Joshua once more. After a bit of focusing, he was still kind of tired, his eyes landed on the kid’s face.

He was still smiling . Still happy at the outcome of the conversation that had taken place hours earlier.  

Gordon chuckled as Benrey sat there, in shock and awed at the revelation. He… he had made someone happy. Cheered them up when they were down. With the realization that he had managed to actually help someone, never mind that someone being a kid who was almost as important to him as Gordon, Benrey came to another conclusion.

Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

[bleedinghearthalstead]

SWAT!Jay / Upstead AU

A/N: Part 3! Crossposted on AO3. Takes place right after Trudy Got a Gun, but is mostly unrelated plotwise. Enjoy!

Five blocks from their house, Hailey's phone vibrates in her pocket. When she pulls out the phone and sees the caller ID, she can't help but sigh – it's Hank.

"Upton," she answers. Jay watches her out of the corner of his eye as she hums and nods to what is being relayed to her until she hangs up the phone with, "I'll be right there." So much for a free afternoon with his wife.

Five blocks from their house, Hailey's phone vibrates in her pocket. When she pulls out the phone and sees the caller ID, she can't help but sigh – it's Hank.

"Upton," she answers. Jay watches her out of the corner of his eye as she hums and nods to what is being relayed to her until she hangs up the phone with, "I'll be right there." So much for a free afternoon with his wife.

"Where are we going?" Jay asks, already checking for places where he could potentially u-turn.

"Jay, you don't have to drive me there-"

"It'll be quicker," he cuts her off, "just tell me the address." And Hailey knows not to argue because she knows that look on his face that reads 'mission mode', so she just tells him the address and they're on their way.

When they pull up at the crime scene, Hank's car is already there and Hailey wonders how he beat them here, since they were only ten minutes away and Hank was still at the district when Hailey left. She doesn't say anything when Jay parks and also gets out of the car. Hailey's already got her badge clipped on her belt and Jay slips the chain with his badge around his neck. The patrol officer standing guard at the red police tape is giving Jay a weird look, but the officer doesn't stop them when Jay holds up the tape so he and Hailey can duck under it. Jay momentarily thinks about changing, he might have another shirt in the trunk, but actually no, who cares.

They find Hailey's sergeant at the loading dock of what appears to be a logistics center, semi-trailers parked in front of the gates. Hank and the medical examiner are standing over a body, a man in his late forties with a single bullet hole that sits neatly in the middle of his forehead. A clean kill. Not that much to do here for the ME.

"Hey, Sarge." Hailey stops next to Hank, peering down at the victim. Jay is looking around the crime scene behind them, studying the blood splatter on the ground behind the man. "Listen, I was on my way home, so my-"

Before she can finish her sentence, Hank turns to Jay and sticks out his hand. "Halstead, didn't know we needed SWAT support today." They shake hands.

"Voight," Jay returns, "yeah, unless you're cool with instigating a sniper standoff, I'm kinda looking forward to my afternoon off." Hank raises an eyebrow at him in question. "Distance, wind conditions, narrow angle between the trucks… this wasn't an easy shot."

"What makes you think this was a sniper?" Hank asks, intrigued.

"Well, I don't know if you've talked to any witnesses yet, so I don't know if anyone saw a shooter, but with that blood spatter, this definitely was a high-powered rifle." Jay tilts his head, examining the blood spatter closer, then turns around, scanning the horizon. Obviously looking for something, he moves to stand right behind where their victim must have stood, mindful not to step on the blood. He points at a building in the distance. "Angle suggests…" He squints, shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun with this hand. "That mid-rise structure about a klick south. Looks like a parking garage, but I can't say for sure."

Hank grunts at him in agreement, then turns to his detective. "Hailey, you wanna go confirm your husband's theory?"

And of course Hank knows, Hailey thinks. She has been quietly watching the exchange between the two men, but when Hank calls her name, she perks up. "You sure that's alright, Sarge?"

"Take some uniforms with you, canvass the area." That's all the confirmation she gets.

They get back into Jay's car and he drives them in the direction of the building that he spotted earlier, a couple of patrol cars trailing them. While he is driving, Jay keeps leaning forward over the steering wheel, trying to glimpse the building he saw from the crime scene.

"Sooo…" Hailey starts, "Hank knows."

"Didn't think he cared." Jay shrugs, still looking around. "And it's in your personnel file, so I'm pretty sure he's always known."

"Yeah, you're probably right… it's just weird that the whole team knows now. Trudy knows! And why am I not surprised that Hank already knew, but never thought to mention it to me?" Hailey frowns. "I've been in this unit for two years now and I'm not close enough to anyone that they know I'm married."

Jay raises an eyebrow at her. "Babe, you can be incredibly aloof about your personal life."

Hailey pouts. "Are you saying I'm an antisocial freak?"

"More like international woman of mystery."

"Good, my plan is working." They both glance at each other and grin.

They keep driving in silence, until Jay asks, "But you trust them, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. They're all good police."

"And good people too?"

"Sure," Hailey answers after a moment's hesitation. And she does mean it. They all have their issues, but what makes the unit work is that they all have each other's backs, no matter what.

"Then why don't you let them in a little?" Jay suggests. And truthfully, Hailey doesn't know how to answer that.

After some twists and turns, but not more than five minutes later, they arrive at what Jay has rightly identified as a parking garage. Hailey has one patrol car wait on the ground floor, telling them to find the manager in case they need to look at the security camera footage. The other cruiser follows them as they drive up to the top floor.

Jay parks and gets out, walking around to the trunk of his jeep. Rummaging around in a box, he pulls out a spotting scope. He quickly orients himself and goes to the north side of the garage, looking for an open space. A few cars over, there is a free parking spot. He walks right up to the edge, which is a half-height concrete wall, and peers through the scope. "Looks good." He hands the scope to Hailey, who, at Jay's direction, finds the logistics center they were at earlier, although their crime scene is hidden between two big trucks. "It's not the exact angle from here, but it's pretty damn close."

Still looking through the scope, she can see the crime lab techs still cataloguing the scene, but sees that Hank's car is already gone. Jay takes the scope back from her and determinedly walks to the northeast corner of the structure. He stops right at the corner of the building and looks through the scope again, then nods. "Got it." He turns to Hailey. "Roll a crime lab to our location."

Hailey nods in confirmation and relays the info through her radio. As she watches him examine the scene and then tell the two patrol officers to cordon off the scene, she thinks about how in another life Jay could've been a great detective.

* * * * *

When Jay drives her back to the district and again doesn't just drop her off, but parks and gets out with her, Hailey almost stops him. It was one thing for him to come with her at the crime scene since he was already there and she thinks that he wanted to back her up just in case, but to join the briefing? She isn't sure how that's going to go down with the team.

He is a few paces ahead when he notices that Hailey is still standing next to the car. Jay thinks he's gotten pretty good at reading his wife's mind and backtracks. "Is it okay with you if I join the briefing?"

She thinks about it for just a second, then nods her head 'yes'. It was Jay who figured out that it was a sniper and it was also him who found the point of origin within minutes. If not for her husband, they would have had to wait for hours until the crime techs processed the scene and then it would have taken even longer to find the parking garage.

Entering the district, Trudy just nods at them and Hailey uses the hand scanner and pass code to buzz them up to Intelligence. Upstairs, the team is already putting up info on the white board, Kevin sticking a picture of their victim onto the board and Kim writing down his stats.

"So what do we have on the victim so far?" Hailey skips the greeting and gets straight to business. When the others notice that she has a tag-along, they all perk up, first and foremost Kevin, who comes over to give Jay a bear hug.

Jay laughs. "Hey, buddy."

"'Sup, man? How you doing?" Kevin pulls back and they do a special handshake. Hailey can only wonder when they had the chance to learn that? She didn't see them do that at the bar.

Adam also joins the group. "Nice catch, man."

"Ah, it's nothing." Jay brushes off. "Total team effort."

Hailey marvels at how easy it is for Jay to fit into the group, almost a little envious that Jay has been able to build a comfortable rapport with her team mates on one single night out drinking, while it has taken her two years of working with them to achieve that sort of comfort level. He can be a charming bastard when he wants to.

Hank comes out of his office and breaks up the chitchat. He acknowledges Jay with a nod, then turns to his unit. "We got a dead body, what do we have?"

Their victim is Frank Moretti, the logistics coordinator at the center where he was found murdered. No priors, no obvious gang or organized crime connections, he seems like an odd assassination target. The team is going through the crime lab and medical examiner's reports, collecting their findings on the board. Jay's sniper theory is proven right, the recovered bullet's caliber suggesting a long range rifle. Unfortunately for them, the round is a .300 Winchester Magnum, which is popular in game hunting as well as military and police use.

Jay nods, "Popular is an understatement. Hell, even I use them."

When they get around to talking about the shooter's location, Hailey summarizes the report. "No conclusive evidence found at the parking garage, no notches or indentations from the rifle, no bullet casings, although we assume it was a single shot, no nothing."

Kim adds, "We're still going through the security camera footage, but no luck yet."

"I still think this was a professional hit," Jay interjects. "It's just too clean. If it was me, I would've done it from the cover of a van. Set up, open up the door, hit the target and drive off. If you know your target's schedule, that would've taken a few minutes tops." The others look at him with various degrees of alarm, Hailey included, but Jay just shrugs. "Just saying that you should be looking for a van arriving and leaving the garage within an hour of time of death."

"Alright, you heard the expert, let's get to work," Hank orders. "Upton, Ruzek, you go check out Moretti's home. Burgess, Atwater, you check out the footage and his financials. See what we can find."

The sergeant then turns to Jay and shakes his hand. "I guess I did need SWAT support today." Then Hank adds, "Don't tell your commanding officer."

Jay grins. He didn't have an afternoon off, but he was able to help with their case and he did get to spend some quality time with his wife. "Anytime, Sarge."