#and they're absolute TERRORS

[enderwoah]

so i had a bit of a think. a few thoughts, if you will.

(he was my favorite when i was a dsmper i will never let him be normal OR happy. my stress ball. my little squishable. i hope everything bad happens to you ever /loving)

(in my head, howlites are like pearls that can fight. slightly more sturdy personal "guards.")

gemcyt au by @chrisrin, as always!!

WARNING: SILLY LITTLE THING UNDER THE CUT

LOG DATE 4 26 3

The first step of the experiment was a tentative success. Both damaged halves of the two howlites were severed from the undamaged halves and disposed of. The undamaged halves of Facet-1126 -R4N and -B0O were then sealed together to create what is, hopefully, a perfectly cut, undamaged howlite. The relative softness of the gem was almost certainly one of the most dangerous and beneficial factors of this experiment, as it made the halving process very easy and the fusing process very stressful. The gem is currently regenerating. Will update when it reforms. Demantoid, out.

LOG DATE 4 27 3

Reformation was a resounding success. The resulting howlite (RB) seemed to be fully aware and functional, especially compared to other fusion experiments that have been performed. It does not speak, though I'm rather sure this is due to personal preference rather than ability. It is split perfectly down the cente, black on the left and white on the right to reflect the gem. There are no other defining features. It seems to fly into panics and/or states of emotional turmoil, which is a good sign to indicate coherent thoughts. I can't say yet whether this success is due to -R4N and -B0O knowing and having a positive relationship with each other beforehand (though that shouldn't be the case, as both gems were rejuvenated prior to the severing) or whether it is due to the perfect formation of the new fusion gem, but if the latter is the case, this could be absolutely revolutionary. Cracked or maybe even shattered gems simply need to be reassembed with matching parts and they will be perfectly functional again. No waste. Demantoid, out.

LOG DATE 4 35 3

They never told us there were rebels on this stars-forsaken planet. They took everything. An egregiously tall fusion, a nepherite, a lapis and an emerald, for starssake, infiltrated the base and utterly trashed the place. Gems have been poofed and shattered just about everywhere—it has been utter anarchy for the past several hours. And when I came back to the lab to try and scavenge what I could, RB was missing. We're requesting a search squad to locate these gems and bring me my experiment back. He's too valuable for this nonsense. Demantoid, out.

[taxinealkaloids]

horrible children who are. so so mean to each other

[y-rhywbeth2]

Technically the ending where Durge rejects Bhaal is freedom in the same sense that Astarion was free of Cazador when a mind flayer shoved a tadpole in his eye-socket.

No, your master can't take direct control of your body anymore or take over your will.

Your master is, however, still very much out there. He is more powerful than you. He has plans for you. He is furious at you, his property, for defying him, running away and interfering with those plans.

WotC canon has twice overridden the original games to show that all the Bhaalspawn who were "freed" were pawns of Bhaal in the end.

There's that goddamn delightful letter you might get in the epilogue that flat out tells you that Bhaal's not done with you, and you will not escape your designated function as a stud in his plan to reboot the Bhaalspawn Crisis. (Strictly speaking, damaging your reproductive organs won't stop this: Bhaal's a deity. Who do you think is giving clerics their healing spells?)

Evil deities very much do punish transgressions against them by their followers and apostates, "if the offense [is] serious enough, major transgressions may even be punished by death in whatever form the deity has the power to arrange." Your best way to avoid that one, as far as I remember, is to get your way into the good graces of another deity who has the power to challenge your old boss and can protect you. (Although becoming a cleric did nothing to save any other Bhaalspawn from their father...)

Now is a good time to fucking panic. Hopefully, Jergal picking up the leash is good enough protection to keep them out of Bhaal's hands. Durge will likely look back on Astarion's willingness to risk his soul going to Raphael if it means escaping Cazador with great understanding - "..."better the devil you know." [...] And I'll take anything that saves me from that."

Time to start researching gods and Bhaalspawn and coming up with contingency plans!

Sure, you can kill Bhaal, but that's significantly harder than killing most things and the bastard does not stay dead, as he has illustrated. Vestiges are still dangerous, and Sarevok and the Other One were both taken over while he was dead. You are not freed by his death.

I wonder if moving to Sigil would work; gods can't access the city, but I'm not sure the Lady of Pain forbids them meddling with their followers/escaped servants from afar... I need to refresh my Planescape knowledge...

[heybiji]

"I'm great at keeping secrets." -robin, multiple times

old art batch but here's a bunch of various doodles from when Dandelion was still in disguise as Robin (ft. Lafavel played by @dallieart, Dagger played by @ninjanissie, Clover played by @chasewalk)

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading the flogging scene again and I'm really struck by clean and clinical nature of a lot of it at first.

Mr Johnson has delivered Hartnell's lashes very precisely so they don't cross over and raise deeper scabs and scars. The red bag the cat o' nines comes in is in its rightful place hanging neatly from a beam overhead. Johnson literally combs Hartnell's blood from the ends of the cat to keep it neat and tangle-free.

But then I'm also struck by how much of that falls away when it's Hickey's turn.

Flesh hangs off his body, the lashes adding up until they can't help but cross over. Blood spatters the front row of assembled men. Mr Johnson tries to go easier on him but that only makes things worse as his strikes are less precise and Crozier orders more of them.

It's difficult to say what's worse - when that kind of violence is so precise, systematic, and institutionalised, or when it very much isn't...

[hoochieblues]

If you're partial to quaint ghost stories and tales of strange places, highly recommended. Also, Adam Scovell's short film inspired by the locations is lovely:

[lgbtlunaverse]

The thing about having nieyao brainrot when watching amc the terror is that jin guangyao is approximately 50% hickey and 50% james fitzjames and nie mingjue is 100% crozier which becomes VERY funny when you look a the absolute chasm-sized difference between those two respective relationships

The idea of having BOTH "Are we brothers, Francis? I would like that very much" and "I forgive all of them, but you" in one relationship is an absolute fucking clusterfuck but also perhaps the best approximation of what nieyao have going on.

[elytrafemme]

posting actively anti KOSA stuff on my instagram account which i know is followed by at least one person who is explicitly pro KOSA... who i also work with...

[edoro]

Belos is, without any exposure to romantic media for four centuries, is recreating the exact energy of those bodice-ripper paperback romance novels. Ford, with exposure to romance media, is doing the exact same thing, but only semi-subconsciously. Throw in Belos' monster form and we've got ourselves a full shitshow.

full speed ahead babey! this train is going straight off the tracks and we are NOT stopping!

it's so funny that Philip just. is like that. it's especially funny that we're all in agreement he's the one who Wants To Be Ravished even though he's also simultaneously the evil emperor, the evil colonizer, and the big scary monster. like just going by the external trappings of the roles here you'd think Ford would be the captive damsel being Unwillingly Seduced and Finding Out She Likes It Actually but no, Philip is very firmly slotting himself into that role.

(i mean we also know Ford has fun playing the big strong grizzled adventurer so like, i am 100% sure he would get into it. once he realizes this is what Philip wants... the man is a nerd and deeply dedicated to accuracy in roleplaying. he's going to bring ALL of that energy to their horny shenanigans and it's going to be so fun.)

i'm imagining Ford actually out-loud referencing the bodice ripper phenomenon and Philip just not knowing what he's talking about... one trip to the castle library later and Philip has a whole stack of novels he is going to be investigating very thoroughly.

(imagine being the poor librarian who checks out 27 trashy borderline-pornographic romance novels to the emperor himself.)

it's encouraging to hear Ford talk about this tho. looks like human literature's gotten a lot better since Philip's time.

also yes Ford he would LOVE it if you Literally Ripped His Clothes Off. Tear That Nightgown Asunder.

[fabulouslygaybean]

okay apparently im not done ranting about quarantine puppies. for the love of god to NOT get a puppy if you won't bother with training and proper socialization. i don't care if you say it'll help your mental health, i don't care if you just reeeaaaally want one, i don't care if you're only gonna get a teeny tiny toy breed, do not get a damn puppy if you won't put in the necessary work for the sake of their own and other's safety

[kung-fu-cutbug]

make sure to respect your elders

or else they might become an archangel of plague & disease and kill you

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Got enough critters now to be a Pokémon trainer, it seems, lol. Just added the Kittos to my Chewy account so they can have thier item preferences there and I also want to know if Chewy sends three separate cards or one card with all names if you have pets born on the same day.

So I had a thought for a theme team

Picked them not only on closest appearance but also vibe and naturally I wanted the Kittos to all be meowths.

Tori being an Eevee is partly because the shiny fluff is pretty close to her color, but also that my friend gave me an Eevee Build-A-Bear on the Christmas I got Tori and apparently the heart wish was "I want her to get a puppy like she wants so badly" so Tori is jokingly referred to as a wish puppy about as much as my "cloud puppy" and "Christmas puppy"

Mei Mei naturally needed to be a Purrloin by both the color vibe but also because Purrloin is what I think an expy of Meowth is

Sarah gets to be evolved because she's older than me so badass water turtle it is. Shiny because closer to her natural color.

So basically, if I was a trainer for real, it would be a dog thing, four cats and turtle with two pressure washers fused to her back.

[pastballads]

New Claudius thread idea:

Someone being reverse-isekai’d into his world, only to be discovered by him and he helps them integrate with society, albeit incredibly poorly due to being a recluse. Alternatively, the other party is dropped directly into his apartment.

[batshit-auspol]

I really enjoy this blog so much. Gimme your most favorite batshit auspolitics moment from the 2000s to 2010s. please. i am morbidly curious.

2007: The APEC conference, where all global leaders converge in one city to pretend like they're doing things, is to be held in Sydney, Australia. With the war on terror in full swing, security is at a maximum, and large swathes of the city are placed behind a giant multi-layered steel fence to keep the world leaders far away from the unwashed masses.

Attempting to ward off trouble, organisers of the conference hold a meeting with notorious political comedy prank group "The Chaser", to tell them they are, under absolutely no circumstances getting anywhere near any world leaders, and to not even bother trying.

"The whole perimeter is secure," security forces told them sternly. "The only thing getting through that fence is a motorcade."

24 hours later The Chaser were on their way towards the fence with a motorcade.

Now a few things should have tipped off security guards that this fake Canadian motorcade was not a the real deal. Number one: Canada wasn't at the conference, number two: no country has actually had security running alongside cars since the 60s, and three: most security guards don't carry video cameras with them or passes that read "this is fake".

Nevertheless the ruse was more successful than anyone had anticipated, and The Chaser team were happily waved into the most secure area on planet earth by police, who informed the incognito comedians that "the road is yours."

Reaching the outside of George Bush's hotel, the pranksters now began to worry that they were never going to be stopped by police and decided to get out of the car and walk back to the fence.

While dressed as Osama Bin Laden.

At this point all hell broke loose. Snipers were locked on. Confused police scrambled, and immediately arrested the whole group, only breathing a sigh of relief when they saw the words "Chaser" on the fake security passes.

Bizarrely the police opted to give a full escort to the guy dressed in a suit, and allowed the other man cosplaying as the world's most wanted terrorist to just casually walk out on his own before booking him at the perimeter.

The Chaser team said that while being put in a cell overnight wasn't fun, they were less stressed after police started visiting to ask for photos and signatures.

The prank group were later hauled before the courts and threatened with a massive fine, but the case was eventually dropped after they successfully argued that it's not technically breaking-in if the cops happily wave you into a high security zone.

Needless to say they have changed that law for future APECs.

Making light of the situation, the prank group also returned to the site a few days later dressed as carboard cars, to see just how flimsy a disguise could get past police.

This time at least, they were not let in.

[luna-has-some-thoughts]

Amity parkers are feral and insane

-Gothamites.

Somehow, someway, Casper high finds their selves in Gotham.

It could be a field trip or a ghost shoved them in a portal, doesn't matter, they're in Gotham.

As they arrive in Gotham, the Casper teachers decide to turn this into something educational and hire a tour guide from Gotham Academy (or was it Gotham university? I forgot) GA agrees and also Sends some of their students to partner up with the amity parkers as a sort "buddy" and to hopefully teacher em the ways of surviving in Gotham.

To the gothamites, the amity parkers look like children who have never been exposed to crime in their life, never been mugged, never been been kidnapped.

But the truth is, compared to the BS amity is used to, Gothams issues are like kindergarten.

First thing the tour guide hears when she greets Casper high Mr lancer telling them to, "Please don't walk into danger, please don't try and provoke the joker, I know he's a bitch but still. If you find yourself in a tricky situation, do not hesitate to punch yourself to freedom, but ABSOLUTELY NO CRITICAL HITs these are NORMAL people they're not like us or the ghosts, they will not survive. Please do not give phantom problems, He's already failing in class he doesn't need more problems"

Its important to keep in mind that:

amity parkers and ghosts are buddies now.

The Ambient ectoplasm gave them a form of super strength, also making it so that they are able to touch ghost.

They join the ghost brawls everyone in a while and has some wins.

Most, if not all are liminal in a way.

Everyone knows that Danny is phantom but have signed an NDA that says they aren't allowed to tell anyone who isn't a native amity parker who he is.

Things is, The gothamites don't know about this and take it as if Mr lancer and the students are underestimating Gotham. So as a from of pettiness, all the Gotham students decided to bring their amity partner to the most dangerous places they can think of.

Niky has lead sam into a park that poison ivy frequents. Of course, poison ivy is there but instead of running away in fear like niky expected, Sam runs up to ivy, complements her and joins the path of eco terrorism.

Tucker and his partner Vic finds himself in the middle of a riddler attack, locked in a room with no way out, a countdown timer with 20 secs remaining and a riddle in a computer.

Vic is panicking as he tries to figure it out, he looked to tucker for help. Tucker just shrugged and hacked the computer, not even bothering to solve the riddle. It worked and Vic is baffled and the riddler is frustrated.

Danny find himself in the hands of the joker, (his partner ran the moment joker was seen) hanging upside down on top of a large pool of acid, because, it's classic for joker. He is also being live streamed.

The teachers in GA are panicking, the bats are panicking.

Casper high teacher took one look at the stream and shrugged. "Eh, he'll be fine." They also called the number that joker has displayed on the screen, just to say, "Daniel Fenton, make sure your back before in GA 6 pm or else were leaving you to find the hotel on your own."

The time is 5:30 pm.

It takes 25 minutes to walk from Joker to GA.

Danny sighs, might as well start walking.

He uses intangibility to free himself and fall into the vat of acid.

The Gothamites are shocked and screaming, the bats are shocked. Amity parkes went "oh" and continued placing bets on how fast Danny will get back.

Danny then proceeds to swim out of the acid pool, punch the joker in the face, knocking him out in a single hit and then proceeds to casually squeeze out the acid from his Casper high "I am a proud amitian" shirt as if it's regular water.

All of this was done in 5 minutes.

All of this was caught on stream.

The Gothamites are passed out, the bats are questioning everything. Batman is searching up everything he can about acid side effects and about Danny but ends up with nothing.

The amity parkers just raised their bets even further.

Danny somehow makes it back 10 minutes late and Wes wins the bet.

[notbecauseofvictories]

I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"

Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.

............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.