#and this is actually not the entire thing i wrote like 5k of this in april

[zannolin]

VERY PROUD YOU GOT YOUR FIC DONE ZANNA

THANK U STELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was rough going like. behold my writing tracker for this experience:

y'all who have been here long enough know this is Not normal behavior for me. 2k+ for so many days....it was an Ordeal. and i am so happy with how it turned out but i think i need to sleep, like, forever now.

[sleepymaddy]

.

[babygorewhore]

Unholy Contrition

Rafe Cameron immediately wrote you off as some Bible thumping prude. And when his father died and left the entire fortune to him, he absentmindedly chose your father, A preacher, to speak at the funeral. But he catches something about you that reminds him of his favorite Porn Star. And he decides he’s going to corrupt you. What he doesn’t know is…you’re not as innocent as you act.

Okay guys the horny demon got me and I once again had to write about cocaine daddy because I’m addicted to him. Thank you so much to @xxhellfirebunnyxx for helping me with this and beta reading. I love you dolly.

Word count 5K!

Moodboard

Warnings! Talk of religion (duh) reader is a porn star, masks, masterbation, slight cat and mouse, choking, degrading, oral, unprotected sex! Virgin reader! Daddy kink! Kinda perv reader tbh but same. Slight breeding kink. And barely proof read I apologize.

Disclaimer: female in photos just for aesthetic purposes!!

When Rafe first saw her, it was at the annual outdoor movie where the pouges and Kooks got together. The pouges served food and drinks while he and his family sat comfortably in the front row. Topper, Kelce and himself watched JJ and Pope after their encounter. He thought they knew better than to fuck around with him and his friends. But he’d have to teach them. Burn it into their brains.

He was Rafe fucking Cameron. And they would learn their god damn place.

“Watch them.” He told Kelce and he got up. Kiera was getting a drink and this was an opportunity to assert his intent.

“Tell your boy, we know what he did.” His warning did nothing to sway her loyalty as she walked away. He smirked and then it fell when a girl was walking up to the line. It was the Preachers daughter.

He towered over her like most people but what caught his attention was the high neck shirt, covered thighs and worse. A cross on her neck and a wrap around cross bracelet around her hand. Her hair was in pig tail braids. She had doe eyes and bitten pink lips.

And she was carrying a fucking Bible. Which was a shame. She was pretty. Beautiful even. But he hated the church.

“Excuse me,” She whispered and moved past him. He had an urge to snatch it out of her hands and throw it. But he had more important things to do.

“Yeah; go ahead Jesus freak.” He hissed, bending down to say it to her ear. Her eyes widened and her brows pulled together.

“I-“

But he walked off. He wasn’t going to waste him time when he had two pouges asses to kick.

Your dad gave funeral talks all the time but now you were weirdly excited to go. Not that you were excited about Ward’s death but more about who’s attending. Rafe Cameron would be there and you actually thanked god for it. It wasn’t that you didn’t have your own belief system but the entire restriction? Fuck no.

But for the sake of your poor older father, you kept up the good girl facade. It was easy really. Keep everything simple, light pastel clothes while hiding what was underneath. Your nickname was Kitty from the cat ear beanie you had since you were a teenager. But your dad had a variety of nicknames for you.

All of them were gentle. Pure.

You adjusted your white lace turtleneck before your hands settled on your ankle length pink skirt. The very sight was way out of your true style but it would do for the service. Your white socks and black Mary Jane’s. Your cross bracelet, and necklace was a little overkill.

But no one knew how you used the cross in secret on your only fans.

The black thong you were wearing was already growing wet as you stood next to your father waiting for him to arrive. He greeted everyone with a handshake. Your eyes drifted over the crowd, mascara thick on your lashes as you subtly rose to your tiptoes. Damn, was he late to his own fathers funeral?

“Kitty, look who it is. Hello, Sarah.” You forced yourself to smile. She was crying with Topper on her arm. Apparently she and John B, Rafes arch nemesis, had broken up. For now anyway.

“Hi, Sarah, I’m so sorry…” You gave her a genuine hug and she squeezed tightly.

“Thank you, kitty.” She sniffed.

“Mr. Cameron, now that you’re here-“ You tried your best not to snap your head too directly in his direction but you slowly turned your head.

Rafe was wearing a suit and his hair was slicked back out of his eyes. Different than he had been running around a few weeks prior before he inherited the entire fortune.

He seemed…more unhinged. Something in his eyes flashed when he saw you, drank you in like a man after a day in heat. You gave him a sympathetic smile and you rolled your ankles, trying to seem smaller. More vulnerable. “Hi…Mr. Cameron. I’m so sorry for your loss…” You murmured.

His strong hand engulfed yours, his fingers long, covered in gold rings and warm. You looked into his blue eyes, shining on you and he said. “It’s still Rafe, little bunny.”

The nickname made you want to cum in your panties but you ducked your head with a blush. But you couldn’t blame him with your modest clothes and makeup. He returned to speaking with your father and you tried to keep your glances to a minimum. He was going to work for it.

The service was simple. Outdoors and you stood next to your father. You held a small Bible that was gifted to you in middle school as your cross dangled from in between your fingers. Rafe was staring at you. You could feel it but you wouldn’t give him the chance to meet your gaze yet.

You had a lollipop in your pocket. One you took out of your collection as you left your house. You always sucked on something. Your cross. Your dad wouldn’t think twice as you subtly unwrapped the paper and slowly licked a circle around the candy. Your tongue was lewd as you then pressed it passed your swollen lips.

You took another measure by your pointer and thumb pushing it back and forth and then you stuck it further…until it hit the back of your throat. Playing dumb, you gasped quietly and coughed. Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, lipstick slightly staining. You then took an opportunity to look at Rafe.

His jaw was tight and he was biting his lower lip. Blue eyes were darkening as he inhaled the process of your action. His chest moved up and down rapidly. You wanted him to know you were baiting him. But you also wanted to fuck with his mind. So you did the most reasonable thing your thoughts came up with.

You gave him a small wink.

After the funeral, he was out of your sight. But you took the extra step by linking your second account on your instagram story. You knew he would watch it.

Your obsession with Rafe Cameron started in high school. He was a few months older so he graduated sooner. But when you first saw him, hanging around other girls and guys at the private school. Disobeying rules but having enough family power to ignore them. Turned you on. His rebellion was something you craved. Your attraction only grew when you saw him one day yank a girl into a closet and you heard how good he made her feel. Granted, you hid right outside the door. You wanted to be her.

You want him to throw you around. Use you. Take you like you were only made to be his little toy. Your fantasies only grew when you followed him on social media, he was public so you had fast access.

What he didn’t know was that you used your second account. Where you wore your sluttiest clothes without showing your face. You posted stories about sexual thoughts, songs and thirst traps of your body. And he commented on every single one.

“Fuck, I wanna see your pretty face.”

“I want to fuck you. Fuck your throat. Watch you leak with my cum.”

It was an endless amount of fun. You knew he wanted you. He just didn’t know you were both versions yet. And each response you gave him, ended with a wink.

“Kitty, you look tired. Do you want to head home?” Your father asked. You nodded sheepishly. Finally, you could get home and post more on only fans. You knew he would watch as well.

“Thank you, dad. I’ll see you later.” You gave him a kiss on the cheek and started to the car.

It wasn’t an accident you parked across from him and you saw him walking in the direction. You dipped your hand into your pocket, acting like you were searching for your keys as you dropped a thin fabric on the ground. Quickly, before he could approach you, as you heard his shoes you got into the driver's seat.

Playing dumb was simply picking and choosing when you showed innocence. As you drove away, your plan cemented and you bit your lip.

Getting home and settling into your bed, you wore the lingerie Rafe always requested. Normally you charged him more, but you’d give him a treat today. You pulled out your rabbit, spitting on it and slathering it with lube. You barely needed any on your pussy as you set your phone exactly where it showed the best angle.

You wore the cross on your bracelet as you traced your clit with it. A lot of girls did this but Rafe would consider that it’s yours. Maybe he wouldn’t. The doubt would drive him crazy. Just like he drove you crazy.

He was infamous for snorting coke at parties you were never invited to and you imagined smearing it across his gums before licking them. Or his strong fingers holding you down as he did a line on your body. What you wanted most? Being pinned down as he spat on your mouth and slapped your pussy. These thoughts drove you to easily slip two fingers inside as you grind onto your hand.

“Fuck me, daddy. I need you.” You whined. You wish he was here. You wish it was his hand instead of yours.

You tried to hold back, usually taking longer for a video but you came extremely quickly. As you laid there, sweaty and still needy. You glanced at the notifications. They were repeated. Sliding on your side, exposing your bare ass, you picked up your kitten mask and read the messages.

They were all from Rafe.

He was sending money. “Please, let me see that fuckable face. I’m begging you, kitten. I need it. I need to fuck that soaking pussy. Daddy needs you.”

You had to bite your lip to keep from chuckling.

Normally, you just winked. But this time, your fingers swiped and you replied.

“Work for it, daddy.”

Rafe couldn’t get the image out of his head of you sucking the lollipop out of his fucked up head. You were the preacher's daughter for god's sake. Someone he teased for being some sort of Bible thumper and she probably didn’t even know what kinky meant. But…god she was pretty. The way she innocently batted her eyelashes at him like a bunny. That was what stuck out to him. A little bunny rabbit.

And then she winked at him. It felt so pointed. Purposeful. She also dropped a black damp thong on her way to her car. Rafe snatched it up before anyone could ever see it and he half scoffed and moaned. A creamy stain that was recent. Either she secretly touched herself or she was so wet that it soaked through and ran down her pretty legs.

The last words of the mystery girl on Only fans, who was his favorite porn star, gave him more than a wink this time. Work for it, daddy.

It made him cum all over his hand again just from her words so he couldn’t even imagine her pussy. But the doubt. The doubt was there. But she was-he clenched his fist. It was during the day and he had a second to breathe in between meetings.

Rafe typed her name on instagram.

As he suspected, it was mostly scenery shots, half faced selfies and photos with your father. A few of them you were smiling, apparently whoever took the photo made you laugh when you were at the beach. He almost swiped to another photo when he narrowed his eyes.

It was very small. He almost missed it but there was a small…handprint? Right below your swimsuit above your thigh. It had to be your hand, given the size but his mind drifted to a particular video where mystery girl spanked herself to his request. Was he being paranoid? He looked at another photo, a flashback to your graduation where John B took you to prom. And he felt at twitch in his jaw. But not before another detail caught his attention.

Underneath your bracelet. Left wrist. He saw a black mark. Not a mark, he zoomed in, careful not to like the picture.

It was a tattoo.

He couldn’t see what it was but his eyes widened. Mystery girl also had a tattoo there.

But you couldn’t possibly have one. Not the preachers daughter. Weren’t they forbidden or some shit? It was starting to drive him insane when his alarm went off.

“Fuck.” He muttered to himself and clicked the button. Turning his screen black. It couldn’t be you. Not this innocent girl who called him Mr. Cameron. But what if it was? He’d have to find out for himself. Anyway he needed to.

And here he was. At fucking church. He couldn’t remember a time he was here other than his dads funeral. Your dad was on the stage, flipping through a book he assumed was the Bible when he looked up.

“Mr. Cameron. What a pleasant surprise. Kitty, guess who’s here!”

He tried to keep his expression neutral as you came from a door on the left side. You wore a long light colored dress right above your ankle with the same shoes as the funeral. Your hair was in two braids with a kitten beanie, in this weather? And you still wore your two crosses.

But you were so pretty. Prettier than last time if it was possible. You gave him a small smile, ducking your head. “Hi, Mr. Cameron.”

He neared you both, trying to think of a way to subtly touch you without catching the attention of your father.

“Rafe. Um. I just wanted to stop by. Say thanks for the service. It-helped. Especially with Sarah. She’s all emotional and shit.” He quickly glanced at your dad. “Sorry.”

“No need. Freedom of speech is a gift. But you don’t need to thank me. It was Kitty who told me about him as well. So I could make it personalized.”

Rafe swore your eyes flashed. Just for a second. So he pushed. “You did? You friends with Sarah or something?”

You twirled your hair, apparently sucking on some sort of candy. When you opened your mouth, your tongue was red. “Yeah! We talk sometimes. I just wanted to help, you know?” You started sniffing. “I can’t imagine losing my dad.”

“Oh, honey…”

Rafe cleared his throat. Desperate to get you alone. “Hey-can I talk to you? Just for a minute, I wanted to ask you something.” He eyed you carefully and you nodded. Your dad didn’t seem suspicious. Which made his doubt increase.

Maybe the wink was a fluke. A nervous habit? Or maybe you did that to everyone.

You both stepped away, slowly walking down the aisle. He felt uncomfortable, wearing a suit when he wanted to feel loose. It was too constricting. You played the cross on your bracelet. He raked his brain for something or someway to look at your arm. He had to prove that you didn’t have a tattoo and he was just crazy.

“So, what did I want to talk about?” You prompt him and he clears his throat.

“I’m-“ Oh, no. What could he possibly say? “I’m trying to be more spiritual. You know, with my dad dead. I just want to have hope, you know? That I’ll see him again someday. I would ask your dad but you know. You’re more my age-“

“Oh, Rafe. You don’t have to explain yourself. Do you want me to help you? I can just…go over scriptures with you. Meet with you here. Doesn’t have to be complicated.” The way you said his name made him feel insane.

You had a tilt to your voice. The way you said the word. You didn’t sound like a little mouse for an instant. You sounded-confident. And then it quickly disappeared as your eyes flicked away. “Only if you want, I mean if you don’t, I understand-“

“No, I’d love that. And I also wanted to apologize for what I said. A while back.” This was the most awkward conversation he’d ever had in his life. You started twirling the end of your hair with a painted fingernail.

He squinted, trying to see any sort of ink. Nothing. He was right. And now he was stuck with some sort of scripture offer. “I-“ and then you stretched.

Your arms over your head and he didn’t know where not to look. Your tits were lifted, your neck exposed and then he saw your sleeve lift.

It was a black butterfly tattoo. It was medium sized. Pretty. And then he saw a few more peeking on yiur skin. Mystery girl had the same tattoo but it looked like you had more. Rafe snatched an opportunity.

“I like your tattoo.” He complimented. Hoping to get some sort of answer.

“Oh, thank you. The first one is from a while ago but the rest are new. Dad doesn’t approve but I promised to keep them covered up.” The candy you were sucking on. You rolled it around in your mouth and Rafe was bouncing with some sort of frazzled energy.

“What do you do? Outside of church?”

“I make jewelry. My own business. Sarah actually bought a few things. It’s obviously not Cameron level but I do pretty well.” A blush reddened your cheeks. Jewelry making? Damn. He didn’t have a fucking clue. But why did you wink?

He was going to lose his mind.

“That’s cool. I’ll have to-“He checked the time. He stopped here before going to the building for work.

“I have to get going. But I’m glad we talked. And I’m sorry again.”

“It’s okay, Rafe. I understand. Besides, I was still in high school and I was a little awkward.” You giggled behind a hand. Your smile was adorable and he had an urge to cup your face.

What was he doing? What was this end goal?

“Yeah, me too. Um-“

“Here,” You brought out your phone and opened the number key. “Just put your number in here and I’ll let you know when we can get started if you still want to!” She chirped as he quickly typed in his number.

Her phone in his hand was so small and he felt a twitch in his crotch. Her camera roll. It could be so easy. Just a Quick Look. Just to see. Just to be sure. But to his surprise, you took it back before he had a chance.

“It was nice to see you,” You nodded with a smile.

“Yeah! You too.” He said quietly and watched you walk away. His mind was even more fucked.

Who were you? Or who was the mystery girl? For once in his life, he did consider praying for an answer.

Getting more tattoos at the same time he showed up at church wasn’t planned but it worked out exactly to your favor as you shut your room door with your hip and set your bag down. But you saw the wheels turning in his head. He was taking the bait and you smirked. This was almost too easy. Trapping him. But he was so desperate.

You needed to spark something in him, either get him to ask directly or get him to cave.

Adjusting your hair in your car mirror, you scanned your white dress for any stains. The small flowers decorating the fabric and your cross on your body. But this time you wore a pair of boots that your father nearly had a heart attack with. They were completely different than you normally wore. But you needed more proof that you were his favorite little bunny.

The church loitered with a few people, as they normally did after a Sunday service. Your knee bounced as you waited for Rafe as you sat in the front. You had a few scriptures in mind, ones to stir him and you knew he’d never imagine were in the Bible.

“Sorry, I kept you waiting.” His raspy voice caught you by the surprise but you slowly turned and looked up at him.

Rafe wasn’t in his suit today, instead his casual clothes but there was nothing casual about the way he was staring at you. His eyes were on fire. Full of desire and confusion.

“Oh! That’s okay, Rafe! I wasn’t waiting long! Please sit,” you scooted over and he seated next to you. His knee against yours. You didn’t move it.

“So, you want to hear a few scriptures, or I can pray for you, which would you prefer?” You spread your legs a little and Rafe swallowed. His jaw clenched.

“Uh-I-i don’t think I’ve ever prayed before. So the Bible is fine. I just want to make peace, you know. With my dad. But I have another problem.” You raise an eyebrow.

“There’s someone I really want. And I know it’s…against the lord of whatever. And I need some help. What should l do? How do I resist it like you?” His question hung in the air and your chest tightened. You were so tempted to tell him but that’s not what you wanted.

“Well. I just listen to what the Bible says about that. It keeps me strong. What it says is clear.” You nodded. You opened the book on your lap, “1st John 1:9 ‘if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness’” you looked at him.

“So, if you confess, God will help you.”

Rafe bit his lip and leaned in closer. “This girl. She’s a fucking porn star,” he growls. “And she wears a little kitten mask and she fucks herself all nice and obedient for me. But the problem is she teases me like a brat. She never shows her face even though I give her more money than she’s ever seen. She’s her fathers only child but she calls me daddy. And had the nerve to tell me to work for it. She fucks her cross on her pussy when she knows damn well I could do it better. But she hides. Hides behind this little innocent act with the holy Bible and looks at me with eyes that make me want to rob every single innocence away from her and expose her for the whore she is. And baby, I think it’s you.”

Your core was dripping on the bench. You were almost shaking with want and you almost had to look away from him. You felt exposed. He did figure it out. You weren’t quite prepared as you thought with his reaction. Despite your activity behind your close door, you hadn’t fucked anyone all the way. Making out with friends at sleepovers was as far as you got in real life. Your obsession with Rafe made you wait. You always knew he’d be yours. And you made it happen.

“I-“ he held a finger against your lips, cutting you off.

“No, no, no, see you’ve fucked around with me a little too long, little girl. Now, I get to show you exactly how big of a mistake that was. So, you’re going to go home and think long and hard about what’s going to happen next. For once, I think your God isn’t going to protect you from me.” Rafe pulled away and stood.

“How does it feel to be left high and dry? And by the way, nice tattoos.” And then he winked at you.

You gasped as he walked away.

Your thighs were growing damp from the leaking arousal and you were breathing heavily. Holy shit. It worked. You bit your lip as you pulled out your phone.

He had texted you. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”

When you got home, your dad was out. He was gathering his sermon scriptures and then to spend time with his small circle of friends. You told him you didn’t feel well enough to go. Your mask was secure on your face as you took photos in your bra and panties.

You planned on making more content but it was getting harder because you wanted Rafe so badly. You wanted him to fuck the brat right out of you, making all your dreams come true from his earlier talk. Pouting, you started going through tik tok, laying on your stomach. But then a noise caught your attention. Sitting up, you went to grab your robe when your door was bashed open.

Eyes wide, you see Rafe walk towards you, with a sadistic smirk on his face. He tilted his head, trailing his blue irises over your body, your naked knees pressing together.

“Hey kitty.” He said, stalking towards you. Rafe kneeled on your bed before grabbing your ankles. You shrieked as he dragged you towards him and loomed over you. “The mask was a really nice touch, baby.” Rafe glanced at the cross on your neck after he tore off your mask and threw it. He pulled it, tugging you up.

His breath hit your mouth. “You want to be my slut? All those fucking videos for me. Making me crazy. Making me doubt myself. You’re gonna regret it. Open your fucking mouth.”

You immediately obeyed and Rafe spit inside. He grabbed your jaw and closed it.

“What’s wrong? What happened to that little brat? Aw, she’s done isn’t she? Fuck, and I haven’t even done anything.” He tapped your cheek harshly. You felt his silver rings against your skin.

You were trembling but you grabbed his face and smashed your lips together. You tried sitting up but Rafe would have nothing less than submission as he pinned your hands above your head and dominated his tongue in your mouth. He kissed you with brutal force and you almost came just from that. All these years and it was better than you could have ever imagined.

He ripped away and wrapped his hands around your throat. “Tell me you’re going to be good.”

Your air was cutting off and you nodded rapidly. “I’ll be good.”

“Say I’m sorry, daddy. I’m sorry for making me have to search for answers. And finally break into your fucking house.” Rafe snarled and tightened his grip. You could feel him hardened above you.

He shoved his hand inside your underwear, grazing your soaking pussy. His two fingers rubbed your clit but with too light pressure. Your eyes rolled back as your stomach tightened.

“You’re so pathetic. Gonna cum and I haven’t even fucked you yet. You’re a fucking virgin, aren’t you? A little whore but you’ve never done this with anyone but your own tiny fingers.” Rafe lent down and hovered over your mouth that was parted.

He pulled his hand away and you whined. “No, please, I’m sorry daddy. I’m sorry for doing all this-“

“I’m sorry daddy,” Rafe mocked you, his fingers shoving inside your greedy entrance. “I’m sorry daddy that I’m a dripping whore and I need the Bible to get you to fuck me.” He started chuckling as you grew noisier. “Come on, you can do better than that.”

“I’m-“ He stopped and you almost screamed. “I’m so sorry, daddy. I’m a stupid dripping whore but I want you so bad. You can do whatever you want to me. I’ll take anything but please stop teasing-“

Rafe broke then, his hand removed from your neck and you sucked in air. His mouth slammed against yours as he ripped your underwear off, and fumbled with his belt. He slid down, kneeling on the floor as he spread your legs. Your glistening cunt made his eyes darken. “You’re so fucking wet for this.”

His tongue lapped at your clit, circling it around the bud before he licked the underside with pressure. You mewled and clawed the bed as he devoured you. Rafe’s tongue slipped inside you with ease as you clenched. You were so close it was painful. But he was relentless. Slowing when you were just about to reach your peak.

“Daddy, please make me cum.” You cried out, tears pricking your eyes. “I’m sorry, but please daddy.”

Rafe stopped and yanked off his pants and boxers. His heavy leaking dick was bigger than you thought as he wasted no time running it down your pussy. “This may hurt a little,” He warned before slamming in. “But you can fucking take it.”

Your nails clawed his back as he thrusted again. You moaned so loudly it surprised you but he met you in volume. “Fuck, daddy!” You said against his ear.

“Are you going to behave?” Rafe grunted as he crudely started massaging your clit. “Are you going to behave from now on?”

Your vision went white as your stomach tightened, “yes I promise,” You whispered before your pleasure exploded.

Rafe did too, his movements stalled as you felt him empty inside you, and your damp forehead rested against his.

“Maybe I fucked a baby in you, kitten.” Rafe sneered with a fucked out look. He was still inside you. “Looks like you corrupted me to your religion.” He smirked before pulling out.

“So…” You cleared your throat and looked at him with a small amount of vulnerability. “What does this mean? Is this it?”

Rafe inhaled and his fingers went to grip your jaw. His powerful face above you sent chills down your naked spine. “If you think you’re anything else but mine, then you’re a dumb little bunny. No one will ever touch you but me. Be with you but me. And besides,” He grinned wickedly. “Your dad already likes me.”

Tagging

@imyourdaninow @drewstarkeyslut @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @slvt4jamesmarch @reidsbtch @lesservillain @take-everything-you-can @emsgoodthinkin @imyourdaninow

[romeosharpae]

“NEVER CHANGING”

theodore nott x reader

last and final part of this series!!! another series is on the way but not sure when though... it's lowkey funny that i wrote that first post in 2022 and now it's 2024.. enjoy though!!

content warnings : cursing, mature language, explicit adult content, rough sex, make up sex, hate sex? (i don't know y'all theo's gone feral), kind-of toxic! theodore nott.

word count: somewhere in the 5k’s

let’s all be happy this part one took 2 months!!

parts : 1,2,3-

Some things just never changed, huh?

Your eyes searched around the crowded ball room and that sentence constantly replayed in your head. The entire thing was cliche, and humbly, you thought you were really above all of it. To avoid vomiting from annoyance, you bring the fleet of champagne in your hands up to your lips and take a long sip.

Standing aside you was boasting your mother and father. The ending of the war was a celebration for new beginnings! Or that's what your father declared in the multiple letter's that he wrote you. Though you knew that wasn't the actual reasoning behind your father's sudden urge to party; He had been trialed for being in cahoots with Voldemort.. and luckily, he was proven guilty. But the concept that you couldn't grasp was why your family wanted to celebrate with a party, it's not like the moment these people walked out of your childhood home that your mother wouldn't judge everything about them. Despite your disagreement of this you were unfortunately still in attendance, wearing an expensive black dress that nicely hugged your curves with your hair neatly pinned up.

Truthfully, if it hadn't been for your father's threat you wouldn't be here. You smiled when the twenty-seventh person approached your parents tonight and engaged in a meaningless conversation. Very rarely did any of the guest direct words towards you, and you really didn't even care because this was probably the last time you'd see most of them.

"Ah! Y/N, I almost didn't recognize you." The women spoke awkwardly, a fake smile slapped on her face. "How has things been going for you abroad?"

"Fine, Thanks for asking."

Before you even finished speaking the women turned back to your parents. About 3/4 into your sixth school year at Hogwarts you made the decision to go and study abroad, well, your parents knew that Hogwarts was in shambles and no longer wanted you there, so they sent you to Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You didn't put up much of a fight because you always wanted to travel the world, and on top of that there were things that you needed to detach yourself with at Hogwarts. So, for the past three years of your life, you've been living happily between Italy, France, and America. Ironically, your extremely rich father funded that and threatened to stop doing so if you didn't show up tonight.

So here you were, sipping through endless champagne as you were surrounded by stereotypical aristocratic purebloods. It reminded you of when you were still in school.. you hated it then and even more now.

"Excuse me, I need some air."

Your parents didn't pay much attention to your words, far to engaged in their conversation. You took another sip of your beverage as you stepped outside of the ballroom and onto the balcony. There was a part of you that missed England while there was another that didn't -- Your life was filled with so much diversity now. You traveled, met new people, ate new food, learned about cultures… everything! But you still missed your home,

Or at least that's what you tell yourself it is.

In your heart, although you were often belittled for your lack of "accomplishments" you absolutely loved traveling the world. But sometimes when you were lying in bed, staring at the celling in silence, you couldn't but to feel sometimes that there was a void that needed to be filled. It was almost like your mind and body feened for something that you couldn't actually make out.

"…Y/N?" The deepness of the voice almost has you thinking it's your father.

With a bull-crap apology sitting on the tip of your tongue you twisted your body to where the sound come from. To your surprise it wasn't your father here to scowl you… it was the last person you needed to see. Your apology swallowed back down, along with every insult you promised yourself to throw Theodore's way the next time you crossed paths. The familiar deep blue gaze and beautifully structured features had your stomach falling your feet. Were you seeing things? Or dreaming?

Why would your parents invite Theodore Nott to your home? They always wanted the two of you together and perhaps that's why they allowed him to take advantage of your naiveness for so long, but you expressed when they wrote you about him three years ago that you wanted zero involvements with the brunette.

Recalling how he emotionally drained you years ago have goosebumps spreading across your skin. Recalling your emotional breakdown in the common room that night makes you more uneasy. The only thing that comforted you was the promised that you made and kept so far, since that night in the common room Theodore Nott never had you again. Not as a lover, as a friend, as an acquaintance… nothing! For the first few weeks it was hard, you missed him because you loved him, but seeing the smugness on his face in the great hall that declared "she'll be back" kept you from going back. Then eventually you left, and your healing became much easier.

"Hi Theo." You softly greet. "You look Good."

You were telling the truth, the brunette looked extremely handsome tonight. His brunette hair was styled in a way that you never seen before but liked and the suit he wore was black. You couldn't help but to think that in a way, the two of you almost looked like you came to this party together.

The brunette pays your compliment no mind, eyes simply piercing into yours, and he wore an expression like maybe he thought he was seeing things or dreaming. The intensity behind his eyes has shivers rolling down your spine -- There was a moment in time when that would've turned you into puddy but now the effect wasn't that strong. Ironically, there was a moment in time when you never could've imagined not talking to Theodore for three minutes let alone three years.

"There you are, Y/N. Come back inside."

Your mothers voice rang through your ears. When you turn around, she's standing at the entrance of the balcony, shooting you a disappointed look. Her eyes than snapped to Theodore who was still staring at you, "What a pleasant surprise, Hello Theodore!"

Your mother wore a smile that lets you know that she purposefully invited the brunette against your wishes. You scoffed, underneath your breath and folded your arms over your chest. Theodore continued staring at you, distracting himself from what your mother was saying.

After taking the hint that Theodore probably wasn't in the right mind to give a response your mother stepped back into the party. There was something deep inside of you that didn't want to leave Theodore standing out here, it was telling you to talk to him. For closure? Or perhaps a better understanding? You didn't know. Eventually you followed behind your mother and stepped into the party, but you couldn't help but to look over your shoulder,

"It was nice seeing you" You cooed.

And before he got a chance to respond your lost in the herd of people.

The next time that encountered Theodore Nott was just as unexpected as the last. Your mother had convinced you to stay in town for a couple of days extra, you easily agreed. Being your mothers only child came with self-inflicted guilt growing, your father was always working, so aside from the house elf's (Which you didn't have any more thanks to Hermione Granger) your mother was at the house alone all of the time. So, when she asked you stay a few days after the party, even though your gut was telling you no, you did. Plus, you didn't really have anything to do for the next week anyways you really didn't mind.

You were walking into your favorite muggle bistro, inhaling the sweet smell of fresh baked goods. Pansy Parkinson and you always made stops here during the summer for the delicious Angel Cake and ever since you step foot in England you've been craving it. Luckily for you your mother had been at some book club for pureblood housewives this evening, so you were able to go without being criticized for eating from muggles.

You laugh to yourself as you remembered that the last time you came here three years ago. Theodore and you drank so many frapes that your stomach hurt from all of the sweetness. Merlin, although he was horrible to you it was the best when he was good. Remembering the good times for you were hard, mainly because you had to bombard your head with the bad ones to be able to fully get over your attachment to him.

The look that he gave you at the party played through your head like a broken record. You wondered; did he finally realize what he lost after all these years? Did he finally value you as much as you did him back then? It was far too late for all of that.

"Y/N? is that you?!" A voice chirped.

Looking over your eyes immediately lit up at the sight of the bistro's owner daughter. When you used to visit the shop, she'd always insert herself in you and Theodore's conversations, he found it irritating while you thought it was cute because she was so much younger. The small curly head girl ran to you, wrapping her arms around your waist as she embraced you.

"Hi, how have you been?"

"Good! Sit down, I'll go put your order in." The ten-year-old girl dragged you to sit down at the counter, "Same thing, right?"

You smiled, "You know it."

The little girl's hair bounced off her shoulders as she ran into the back, smiling ear to ear. You sat down on the stool, picking up a menu to see of they've put anything new that you'd like to try on there.

You didn't pay much attention as someone came and took a seat beside you, an empty stool between the too. The Frangrance that your nose caught a whiff has your heartbeat picking up… and you didn't understand why because your mind hadn't processed it at first.

"How can I help you?" The waitress asked.

"Can I get a slice of Angel Cake and then a medium Carmel Latte with extra whipped cream, please."

The order makes your ears perk up and finally draws your eyes away from the menu. Ironically enough, that was your same exact that you've been getting from this bistro since you discovered it at the age of twelve. You smiled, "Hey, that's my exact order t--,"

"--Theodore?"

His eyes flew to you the second he heard your voice. Why is Theodore ordering your order? He used to act like this place was the worse now he's coming here voluntarily to eat their food. His blue eyes pierced into yours, and for about two minutes the two of you just stared at each other. You hoped he wouldn't just stare at you like he'd done at the party… It made you nervous. You humorlessly chuckled, gesturing to him,

"I thought you didn't like it." You smiled.

"Yeah, I don't."

"Yeah, why are you buying it then?"

Theodore didn't give you an immediate answer and it makes your stomach twist. You'd spent three years getting over him, why were you so nervous now? The brunette cocked his head, rolling his tongue inside of his cheek before chuckling, his much more humorless than yours.

"Because when you came back, I wanted it to be a shortage of Angel cake, so you'd regret leaving."

"Nothing would make me regret leaving."

Coming back to a shortage of this bistro's Angel Cake probably make you flip out but not make you regret leaving. Truthfully, you don't think nothing would make you regret leaving your six years because deep down you know that had you stayed, Theodore would still be dragging you along like some dog.

He knew that to and perhaps that's why there's fury burning behind his eyes as he looked at you. Yeah, you left without saying anything to him, but it was laughable to you that Theodore wore an expression like you betrayed him by ripping his heart out and stomping on it. You couldn't understand why he didn't grasp the concept that he's the reasoning behind your split… you can't even say break up because you were never in a relationship.

"I've written you eight hundred and thirty-seven times."

"I know." You admit.

"You didn't write back."

"I had nothing to say to you, Theodore."

That was the God honest truth. All of the letters that Theodore had written you from the time you left to about three ago were stuffed in a kitchen cupboard in your flat along. It wasn't like you didn't want to read them, it's just that you knew that you couldn't read them for your own sanity.

Theodore wasn't as calm and collected as you were, he snaps, "And why is that?"

"I'm not going to argue with you." You shrugged. "We're too old for that now, don't you think?"

"Okay let's talk then, Y/N. Let's talk like two civilized adults."

"There's no point in that, Theodore."

A large smile spreads across your face when the young girl brought your desserts out. Following behind her was a different girl with the identical thing for Theodore who was now looking at you like you were talking nonsense. If looks could killed, you'd be lifeless on the floor from the way that Theodore eyes were staring at you. When the dessert was placed in front of you you wasted no time digging your fork into it and breaking off a piece.

"Yes, there is because my feelings for you are never changing, Y/N."

Theodore was trying so hard to get you to fold, but you weren't. It almost sounded believable, but luckily enough you know that Theodore loved to pillow talk and get you exactly where he wants you.

"Okay."

"You don't care anymore."

Theodore spoke the words in a way that lets you know that he wasn't asking you, he was saying it like it was a fact. Your nonchalant attitude was fueling his thinking of that and that brought you satisfaction. To say that your fully over the brunette would be 100% percent lying so you wouldn't say it. You missed him, you shouldn't, but you did.

"Yeah, because you never did." You argued.

"I always did."

You sighed, "I don't want to talk about this anymore Theodore."

"So, you just disappear for three years and now you wanna cry because I want answers, Y/N?--,"

You couldn't believe the words that had just left his mouth. He couldn't be serious right now… you were the villain for leaving? Unknowingly, you stood up to your feet, "Real typical of you to invalidate my feelings and prioritize yourself, Theodore! You want me to sit here and listen to your feelings like you literally didn't break my heart."

"You don't deserve answers."

"I'm sorry."

For the first time, those words sounded genuine leaving Theodores mouth. It almost makes you want to give in, feeling like you've finally proved your point by hurting him back... then you realized two words weren't enough. Two words couldn’t even compare to emotions that you felt when Theodore broke your heart three years ago... it wasn’t enough.

It wasn't enough to forget the fact that he practically used you for his own pleasure, disregarding the emotional attachment that you were beginning to develop.

"What can I do to make you forgive me?"

"Theo--"

"Y/N." He interrupts.

What could Theodore do to make you forgive him? Were you even in the proper mindset to forgive Theodore Nott for the troubles that he put you in? You we're sure, if you were, you're not sure that you wanted to forgive Theodore.

The way that Theodore and you were just staring at each other caused the body hair on your arms to stick up. It felt awfully weird seeing the same cold green gaze from three years ago be filled up with so many emotions now. You heaved out a deep sigh, eyes pulling away from his and onto your drink. You only look back when Theodore placed a hand on your leg, basically sending a shockwave through your body.

"One more chance, Y/N."

You blinked, "Do you even think that you deserve one more chance…?"

"No."

All you could do was hum in response to Theodore. At least the brunette was finally being truthful to you, well, that was the least that he could do after all of these years. You took a bite from your Angel Cake, no longer seeing the point in participating in this conversation with your ex-lover.

"I know that I don't deserve another chance Y/N… but--" Theodore shoots out. "Please."

"I was sixteen--"

"Yeah, so was I Theodore but I had enough common sense to string someone along for an entire year." You sighed, shaking your head. "What do you want from me Theodore? I just don't understand."

"I want you to let me show you that I've grown Y/N. Look, I know that I took you for granted and I'm sorry that it took you leaving for me to realize that I need to show that I cared--"

"I accept your apology Theodore, I do."

"You do?"

You were never really the one to hold grudges and Theodore was aware of that, so you didn't understand the shock behind his eyes. Of course, you didn't hate Theodore, no matter how hard you tried you just couldn't. Your mind would always flashback to Theodore's confessions to you, how broken he was and how that might be the reason he treated you the way he did. Back then that excuse made sense, now it was almost laughable; Theodore's trauma wasn't the reason he behaved so nonchalantly towards you, he did it because he wanted to and thought you would never stand against it.

"Of Course."

With that you stand to your feet, grabbing onto your frappe. You sent Theodore a small smile, mainly because you were leaving him to pay your bill, before walking out of the Bistro.

The week that you promised your mother that you spend with her went by in a flash. Hopefully by this time tomorrow you’d be inside of your Flat in Rome, laying on your couch and binge watching your favorite muggle series.

But at this time today you were standing in the corner of a crowded party, watching as Pansy Parkinson basically dry-humped Draco on the dance floor.

Pansy spent the entire day with you doing meaningless nostalgic stuff that the two of you did during your time at Hogwarts. You didn’t understand why she decided to hang out with you your last day but the answer came to you eventually when she mentioned a party being thrown tonight in honor of Blaise Zabini’s 20th birthday. She knew you were more likely to go had she been in your face pleading rather than her asking over the phone.

There were numerous of reason why you didn’t want to attend tonight’s party. For starters you knew there was a good chance you’d see people you attended Hogwarts with and they’d question you about your disappearance. That was a conversation that you’d rather avoid because you knew they already assumed it had everything to do with Theodore Nott. Secondly, you knew that this party would consume of nothing but Slytherin’s which you had nothing in common with but having wealthy pureblood supremacist parents. And your last reason was shamelessly staring right at you over the brim of their red cup.

You learned a long time ago that Wherever there was Blaise Zabini there was Theodore Nott not to far behind. So when Pansy mentioned the get together you automatically began spewing up excuses of not wanting to go that didn’t include the tall brunette. You were so determined on not going but there was apart of you that felt guilty; You just disappeared and now you were declining her offer to hang out because of your own selfish reasons.

And that’s you ended up here, standing in the corner watching as Draco and Pansy danced while being eyed like prey.

Theodore’s staring makes you nervous in undeniable ways… so nervous that you feel the sudden urge to use the bathroom. You almost felt pathetic, you weren’t sixteen years old anymore so why would you get so nervous over a look? Sighing softly you turned on your feet and made your way to the restroom. According to Pansy the party was being thrown in Blaise’s flat but you’d considered it more of a penthouse than flat. It peered over the beautiful city of London, giving you in sight of what was taking place on the streets.

It takes you about five minutes to handle your business inside of the lavatory. Before stepping out you fix yourself up, ensuring that you don’t look as nervous as you feel. When you pulled the door open, hands still damp from your wash a gasp left your lips at the unexpected figure standing in front of the door.

“Why are you following me?” You grumbled lowly.

“This is my home, Y/N. I’ll go anywhere I please without being questioned.” Theodore’s snappy tone makes your eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Whatever.”

You tried to move out of the bathroom but Theodore just stepped in front of you. Your body shifted in the other direction and he blocked you once again. With squinted eyes you stared up at him once again, “What do you want?”

Theodore took a step closer to you, reducing the space between the two of you until there was none left. For some reason you were stuck, not being able to take a step back to open the space again. Goosebumps rise across your skin, being this close to Theodore did something unexpected to your body. You were scared, knowing that despite your rejection of giving him another chance that you’d allow Theodore to take you on right here if he did the right thing.

“I miss you.”

You sighed deeply, “Theodore we don’t need to keep having this conversat--"

“But we do because you don’t believe me.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t believe that Theodore Nott missed you in the past three years.. it’s that you knew you shouldn’t believe that Theodore Nott missed you. You couldn’t understand what else the brunette could want from you, He’d taken your pride, dignity, and ability to want anyone else but him. And here he was standing with desire laced in his gaze.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Theodore gently said, taking your hand inside of his. “I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head and looked away, feeling the pace of your heart pick up immediately at his convincing words. Theodore quickly grabbed onto your face and turned you back to meet his low green eyes.

“Please Y/N?”

“You’re gonna hurt me again!” You shouted in an unfamiliar tone. “Why are you doing this? Why do you keep doing this?” Tears pricked in the corner of your eyes and your fingers tried to pry his hands off of you but he wouldn’t budge. “You’re so Selfish!”

Theodore had always been self when it comes down to you. Freaking out when you made other male friends, playing the hot and cold game, But this right here was another degree of selfishness coming from him—Theodore knew that he hurt you horribly and that you’ve spent the past three years trying to get over from that hurt. So for him to come after realizing that he could not in fact find someone better than you.. it was selfish.

“I know.” He admits.

A single tear slipped from your eyes, recalling the pain from everything that Theodore had put you through and the fact that you still loved him. It hurts your mind, your body, and your soul. Theodore’s quick in swiping the tear away from the skin of your cheek, you found it funny that after all of these years he was still able to wipe away the tears that he caused. Suddenly, He shushed your quiet cries by pressing his soft lips against yours.

And Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest at the taste of the brunette back on your lips. While your mind was telling you to push him away, telling you to stop him, but the way that he kissed you made your body crave otherwise.

Perhaps that’s why you’re eagerly wrapped your legs around his waist when he reached underneath your knees to pick you up. You gasped when his hard erection pressed against his lower half and with your mouth opened Theodore takes his chance to slide his entire tongue inside of your mouth.

The two of you continued your sloppy make out session as he carried you inside of his bedroom. After this all of your built up self-respect from the past three might as well go down the drain and truthfully you’re not sure that you cared. Your legs felt weak from arousal when Theodore sat down on his bed with you straddling him.

You gasped from pleasure when his mouth trailed down your neck. Theodore’s kisses were filled with desperation and you could tell how much he wanted you. While one of his hand he lifted your hips up and the other flys to the button of his pants. Sometimes you got annoyed with Theodore’s lack of foreplay during the heat of the moment.. but right now all you wanted was for him to be inside of you.

Need filled your stomach to the brim while your hands yanked your dress up and pulling your underwear to the side. Drool nearly slipped past your lips when you caught glimpse of Theodore’s freed thick cock, precum leaking from the tip.

His lips caught yours in a kiss again, a moan slipped past your lips when he begins rubbing the tip of himself against you a few time, collecting your wetness.

Before you could brace yourself he was pushing the head of himself inside, the familiar stretch has your body burning and your legs practically spasming.

“Stay still, Y/L/N” Theodore groaned.

Although you wanted to listened to him you just couldn’t. Truthfully, you hooked with a couple of euro boys but they didn’t even half-compare to Theodore Nott. The pleasure spreading across your body has your head spinning.

“Goodness, I’ve missed you so much.” Theodore grunted huskily. “Ugh--I hate it when you keep this away from me.” The pace of him thrusting into you picked up and the sharp pain of his fingernails digging into your skin as he kept your waist in place wasn’t even noticeable,

You’ve missed this so much.

Your fingers slide up from Theodore’s frame, you placed your hands around his face and he shuddered. An unexpected vulnerability filled his eyes while he moaned that almost caused you to close yours. You were token aback by it, your walls fluttering around him.

“I won’t hurt you again.”

“Theodore… Please--,” You gasped, barely catching your breath to speak to him. “--Don’t.”

You couldn’t handle hearing Theodore’s pillow-talk right now. Him lying about going to be better was something you couldn’t handle..Something that this intimate moment couldn’t handle. Your eyes fell close when he pulled you in for another wet open-mouthed kiss.

“Don’t what?” He hummed.

Theodore ran his hand through your hair. You couldn’t form a response, truthfully you’d forgotten that the brunette even asked you something. But clearly that didn’t please him because Theodore suddenly rolled the two of you over. Your body was now pinned underneath him, completely vulnerable to whatever strokes he wanted to give you.

And clearly they weren’t nice ones…

Suddenly, there was a change in Theodore’s thrusting. It was rougher, animalistic almost. You weakly pushed against his stomach, small whimpers leaving your lips at every hateful thrust he gave you.

“Look at me,” He growled, grabbing onto your neck and forcing you to look at him. The way that Theodore drives himself into you has your eyes watering, tears streaming down your face, so he was a bit blurry. “Don’t do what?”

The hard squeeze that he gives your throat has you spiraling. You hiccuped, eyes rolling in the back of your head, toes flexing as you came.

“Yeah, Just like that.” Theodore begins guiding you through your orgasm, thrust becoming deeper yet still rough.

“--Theo,” You panted his name.

“Yeah, Theo.” He mocked you. “That’s who’s fucking You.”

Despite you being stuck underneath him, you squirmed at his tone. You already sensed the possessive words he’s about to spew and you’re sure it would send you cumming once again.

“That’s who’s always gonna fuck you, Y/N. Me.” He practically growled in your face, forcing you to keep eye contact with him.

“You don’t wanna hear that I’m sorry? I don’t care because you need to, I’m sorry that it took me this long to realize it but I do love you.”

You moaned but it was overpowered by the sound of Theodore moaning in your ears. Overstimulation filled your body as Theodore finally came undone, spilling his cum inside of you. Your fingernails dig deep into his back while he snapped his hips at yours, drilling his release deep inside of you.

With a grunt, Theodore smashed his mouth against yours in a sensual kiss. He mummers against your mouth, “I’m gonna change, I promise.”

taglist: @jeyusosgirl @rae-pottah @abeltownshipslittlebitch

[queenlua]

this is probably egregiously cringey and/or STEMbrained of me, but, i think it'd be pretty fun/interesting to make a workbook / writing workshop-type thing with the following format:

* you're given a detailed, just-the-facts, beat-by-beat summary of some story.

* the story, as given, should sound pretty mid. scenes that feel extraneous, unclear overall theme, etc

* you sit down and write out "how i would fix this story if i were the author." which plot threads feel underbaked & do you draw them out more or just cut those threads, do you add/remove any characters, do you change anything to ramp the tension up/down, etc

* if it's a workbook, maybe there's an "answer" "key" of sorts in the back where a couple solid genre authors share what they did. obviously there wouldn't be a Correct Answer™ but i imagine you could glean some interesting insights from seeing both (1) what those authors considered to be Problems To Be Fixed and (2) how they fixed them.

* if you're doing this in a workshop format, you hear how everyone else fixed their stories. hopefully at least one person in the room is kinda good at this lol

like, i feel like in writer's workshops i've been in before, you hear a LOT of talk about individual sentences and style stuff, which is good and valuable knowledge to have! but there's a lot less talk about plot structure, partially due to limitations of the workshop-as-implemented, i think—it's impossible to talk about The Structure Of An Entire Novel if ppl are only ever reading it in 5k word increments. so... why not operate on 1-5k word summaries instead

i'm basing this largely on my experience with this one particular creative writing prof, where like, i got a decent amount of value out of workshop time... but by FAR the most valuable time was whenever i camped in this dude's office hours to be like "hi, sorry, i'm accidentally writing a novella again" (i... i was the bitch who submitted stuff that blew past the word limit for workshop... multiple times... i'm sorry) "and also i'm stuck on this one plot beat, can i tell you what my story is & hear how you'd fix it?" and like. damn. for a dude who wrote a lot of quiet stories where nothing happened, he had pretty strong instincts for How Genre Works, & i always felt like i walked away with some new trick for thinking about story structure

but i'm not sure i've had an experience like that anywhere else!

which seems like a shame. like yeah i've read Save the Cat and similar "plot structure"-y guides but they always feel unhelpfully... abstract, to me? like the thing where you're learning some new technique in a math class and it's like ok that's nice and all but i don't actually *know* it until i watch someone work a few problems and then work a few problems myself. i want to see all the tedious scratchwork and such, i am too stupid to learn it otherwise lol

[randomshyperson]

Spring Break - Cheerleader!Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Every year during Spring Break, you travel to a camp filled with outdoor competitions. It comes with a bonus of facing your rival from back when the whole thing started, and there's nothing more attractive than Wanda Maximoff kicking your ass in every game. Some might say you let her win just to see her smile, but maybe that's loser talk.

Warnings: (+18), enemies to lovers, so much teasing and bickering, a lot of making out and kissing, bottom!Cheerleader Wanda being a tease, soft first-time smut, semi-public, gays who can't keep their hands off each other, fluff, mild angst when they’re being stubborn, friends being done, high school but summer camp vibes, happy ending i promise. Words: 11.176k

A/N-> I’m back with enemies to lovers (and some smut finally). This fic is quite old, but it was abandoned; after seeing Wednesday and Bianca dueling I regained inspiration for what I was doing in the 5k that was already done. You can thank Netflix for this one.  I wasn't sure whether to split it into two parts or not, but I think I have longer fics than this one so I decided to post them all together. If you notice there's a pause, because I wrote it as two different parts, you didn't.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad

--//--

There was something about pissing you off that made Wanda twitch.

It started so long ago, when you first bumped into each other at Avengers Camp three years ago, and Wanda had the best and most stressful Spring Break since high school began; all because you were there and she was winning.

Now, senior year had arrived, and the annual tradition of joining the spring games for an entire week in the middle of nature at one of the most renowned vacation camps in the United States was going to happen again.

Wanda likes to believe that she was not expecting this. It would actually be absurd to admit that she waited, every year, for the familiar image of your old Danvers cap and your bored expression leaving the bus that brought your schoolmates, but if Wanda would be honest, now sitting in the driveway waiting for their driver to finish unloading the car while she lets her gaze run across the entrance courtyard of the Camp, pretending not to look for someone and yet feeling her whole body warm-up when she recognizes the female figure in the crowd of students from the rival school, Wanda has to admit a few things. First, you grew annoyingly attractive every year. The second, she couldn't wait to beat your ass at every game.

"Man, I can't believe we're competing with the Skrulls again, it's the third year in a row." Her twin's complaint made Wanda blink away, her face half-reddened with fear that she had been caught staring. But Pietro seemed busy enough with his own complaints. 

"Well, at least we're winning." Wanda retorted making him laugh. 

"Fair point." He said and looked at her. "Speaking of which, do you know what games you'll be competing in this year yet?"

"Um, I think I'll check with the girls first. I don't want to end up alone in swimming like last year." Wanda mutters and Pietro nods in understanding. 

Soon the monitors are addressing those who have already arrived, and Wanda loses sight of you - not that she was looking - and busies herself with going to the cabin that would be hers for the next week.

You, on the other hand, lose your bag in a pile.

"God, why does this always happen." You grumble in irritation as you manage to see the handle of your blue suitcase, below a few hundred others. 

"Every year, Y/N. And I keep saying, carry your bag on your lap, and you keep ignoring me." Your sister, Carol, comments beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulders. You roll your eyes, gently pushing her away. Carol is happy, with her dark, safe suitcase under her arm. 

"Stop bugging me and help me." You grumble and she laughs before trying to find a better position for you two to pull your bag together.

With a little effort, you manage to pull your backpack out, and you stumble backward with a grunt - bumping into someone who keeps you from falling to the ground - as Carol pulls your bag out of the pile.

"Yay, teamwork!" She celebrates on the other side, but you are busy turning to thank her who held you up, only to face your best friend with a small smile.

"Bucky!" you greet him excitedly, turning your body to hug him tightly by the neck, and laughing when he spins you in the air. 

You met Bucky at camp, and despite going to a rival school, you had enough things in common for the friendship to grow strong even though he was studying and living almost on the other side of the country. Fortunately, Skype and Whatsapp existed, and even as spring ended, you were still friends. 

"Hello, my favorite Danvers. " He greets like that only to annoy your sister behind you, who rolls her eyes and chuckles, moving closer to hug him as well as soon as you let go. "How was your trip, girls?"

"Y/N slept the whole way." Carol replies.

"And Carol ate the whole way." You accuse taking your bag from her hand and ignoring the grimace to add, "Oh, no, wait, I made a mistake. She was actually daydreaming about Natasha Romanoff."

"Shut up!" Carol grunted quickly, trying to hit you, a soft pink appearing on her cheeks. You fled from her hands, laughing and running toward the check-in booth where the monitors were calling out names, and Bucky shook his head for interaction watching your sister run after you.

Avengers Camp was huge, and besides the cabins divided up among all the students who stayed there during the vacation seasons, there was a lake, volleyball and tennis courts, an auditorium, and even an arcade. 

You were lucky to end up in a cabin with your sister and the other girls in your class - the brilliant Gwen Stacy and Darcy Lewis - who didn't seem too interested in the sports competitions but would surely win any of the scientific tests.

After packing up, all the campers were called to the main cabin, where there were tables scattered throughout the area, where the teenagers were seated ready to enjoy the delicious lunch and listen to the welcome speech.

Nick Fury was the Camp Director and no one could ever tell the real story behind his eye patch, each year new campers came up with new legends that made you laugh - like the story that an alien cat had been responsible for cutting the limb off.

"[...] It gives me great pleasure to welcome the honorary Skrulls from California!" Announced Fury and all the students of your school made a chorus of claps and shouts of celebration, banging on their desks. Fury laughed from his seat in the center of the room, waiting for the commotion to pass before announcing the other school. "And equally welcome, the so-far undefeated champions of the Spring Competitions, the Avengers!"

The rival school made an even better commotion, almost starting a food war. But you were having fun, even though your school had never beaten the Avengers in their home, it was to be expected that they would want to keep their camp as an undefeated venue. Even though last winter during the interclass event, the soccer team lost badly to another school. There was a taunt among the students that if the Avengers played away from home, they would lose. But you and the rest of your school were more interested in proving that you could beat them anywhere, and this was your last chance to be part of it.

As Fury continued with the general announcements - about the rules, and the competitions, concepts that were already very familiar to you after three years - you felt Bucky pull your cap off your head, muttering something about manners that made you laugh.

You were adjusting the tousled strands of hair when Carol gave you a gentle nudge.

"Your majesty will speak now." She sneers and you aren't even confused, knowing full well what this is about before you even raise your eyes to the center of the room again, and feel your stomach do a full turn at seeing Wanda Maximoff step up to the podium with the confidence and posture worthy of a queen.

You met Wanda in first grade, and from the first conflicting interactions, you have an obligation to call her a princess. Because the perfect little girl's posture is too annoying for you not to do so. This, and the fact that her father is a famous politician, and the family is deep in the money, kind of lives up to the nickname. Also, it gives you real amusement to see the pink in her cheeks when you call her that.

And Wanda, of course, is the representative speaker at the games. So every year until she graduates, she announces the competitions and collects the names, as well as basically running the whole thing with the other monitors. It's like Queen Bee and her subjects, and neither you nor any of your friends stop making fun of it.

"I didn't think the Maximoffs were going to come this year." Bucky comments low beside you, as Wanda announces that year's games. And you frown in confusion.

"What, but Wanda has basically been representing this competition forever." You reason, but Bucky shrugs his shoulders.

"I know, but I heard they were going back to their country for college." Bucky retorts. "And you have to admit, while Avengers Camp is fun, it's not worth much here for us to get admission points."

Carol murmurs in agreement. "Man, now I'm pissed they didn’t leave. Imagine a year without having to put up with Little Miss Perfect, a stolen dream." She mocks and you force a laugh, a strange feeling in your stomach. You should be happy at the possibility of not having to put up with Wanda. But it occurs to you that the games wouldn't be as much fun without her.

Clearing your throat, you poke at your food with your fork. 

"I think I'll sign up just for racing this year." Bucky comments beside you. "We have Football season, and I don't want to end up accidentally hurting myself before the games."

"But you love wrestling." You say but he shrugs his shoulders, offering you a small smile.

It occurs to you as the announcements end, and students have to move to leave their names for the competitions, that the seniors are not very excited. Probably the stress of college admissions, you can relate to that yourself, still, it's a little sad to see how little participation from classmates your age.

"Danvers sisters, good to have you back for another year." Fury greets you excitedly as soon as you and Carol approach the registration stand - where there is a small crowd of students trying to choose which games they will compete in, and put their names on the prepared murals. 

"Hey, Nick!" Carol greets back, doing a handshake that she never taught you with the principal. You merely offer him a smile. "How's the family?"

You took the attention away from your sister as you approached the mural that read Wildness Competitions, adjusting your cap slightly as you did so. There were many options for activities at Avengers Camp, and you usually chose mostly the ones that the public school wouldn't give you access to for the rest of the school year, like Hispism or Fencing, the latter being a secret talent.

"Well, if it isn't the Skrulls’ Golden Armor Knight." A female voice mocked behind you, and you were smiling before you even turned around. 

"Maximoff, it's always a displeasure." You retorted sarcastically, your hands in your pockets. Wanda doesn't flinch at your rudeness, tossing her hair to the side as she approaches with some buttons which she as a representative, needs to put on the murals to signal about the teams.

"Having trouble picking your sport this year, Danvers? A suggestion, try to remember that you are going to lose no matter what."

"Really? 'Cause as far as I remember, that shiny trophy up there has my name on it." You retort nodding to where the fencing awards are set in the corner of the main hall. Wanda rolls her eyes. "But don't worry, princess, I'll go easy on you this year."

Wanda lets out a wry laugh, her eyes glittering in defiance.

"I guess it's more the other way around, huh?" She retorts. "Or in case you've forgotten, the highest number of wins is still mine."

Wanda had a point. You could win at Fencing all you wanted - and get the ridiculous nickname of Skrulls’ Golden Armor Knight from the girl just to annoy you - but Wanda still won everything. From archery to fighting to spelling. Never in a million years would you admit that maybe you were losing because you were busier trying not to be distracted by her annoyingly pretty face.

"Let's see how this year turns out." You tell her with clear defiance in your voice, and Wanda smiles, moving closer, and you swallow dryly, your body tensing up. But she is just reaching for something behind you - a jar with other buttons - and offers you an innocent smile.

"Game on, Danvers." She says, grabbing one of the items and placing it in your hands before turning around, hips swaying more than necessary as if she knew exactly where you were going to look, and you choke softly, your face heating up before you shake your head and focus on the badge in your hands. The symbol of your school pinned on it.

–//–

The first day of competitions was a complete success for the Avengers, which means it was complete hell for you.

Unlike basically all the rest of your colleagues who were taking it easy, you almost destroyed a snack machine that refused to deliver your energy drink after you finished in second place for the fourth consecutive activity. If anyone asked, you were annoyed because of the little victorious smile Wanda had on her face all morning, but no one asked, because Carol had to drag you away from the brunette to avoid you jumping on her neck and pulling that little smile off yourself.

"It's so strange to see you like this." Your sister comments as soon as you guys are so back at the cabin, and you flopped down on the bed, grunting irritably against the pillow.

Gwen - who participated in the short race and was still wearing the same uniform as you - handed Carol the small bottle of energy drink that the machine released after you and Wanda got into a heated argument. 

"Like what?" you asked confused with your voice muffled by the pillowcase. Your sister laughed.

"So angry." She clarified by sitting down in one of the armchairs to take off her shoes. "I'm the hothead Danvers, you know? You're like, so good vibes all the time."

"I agree, and I don't even hang out with you guys that much." Gwen remarks before moving to grab her shower stuff. You prop yourself up on the bed with a chair.

"What are you trying to tell me?" You ask your sister, and she gives a short chuckle, shrugging.

"Nothing, I just think it's weird." She mumbles. "You're so calm usually, but just walk into the same room as Wanda and you turn into a ticking time bomb. It feels like she has some sort of switch, or as that other saying goes, of the matchstick and the spark-"

"This conversation doesn't make any sense." You interrupt by frowning and standing up. "I am as I have always been, and it's not my fault if Wanda is the most annoying creature on the planet who keeps wanting to beat me at everything. I'll be taking a shower before you come up with any other weird sayings."

The locker room was a complete mess, but at least you were distracted by Gwen's comments about the competition and about the Avengers planning a sleepover to care about.

Since the next competitions were not until the afternoon, you finished your shower and decided to put on a comfortable sweater to spend the next few hours with Bucky at the lake, and were just finishing putting on your socks when giggles attracted your attention.

Well, you recognized the sound, and you had a hundred insults ready to use, but when you turned your face and had the image of Wanda in a towel, they all disappeared with any other coherent thought.

She was laughing at some comment her colleague made, but when her gaze met with yours, her smile faltered.

"Hey, Danvers, nice running today." She complimented, the sentence loaded with sarcasm. 

"Yeah, Y/N, congratulations on the silver medal." Wanda's friend, you think her name is Monica, said and unlike the brunette, she seemed completely sincere. 

You didn't respond with more than a hum of understanding, suddenly hyperaware that Wanda was without clothes just a few feet away from you. Turning your attention back to your socks, you cleared your throat softly, trying to keep your gaze in front of you.

Wanda took up a locker three feet away from yours. You could see her figure out of the corner of your eye. Long legs exposed and-"

You cleared your throat again, shaking your head quietly. 

"Are you going to watch the boys' race, Y/N?" It was Monica who asked - from the locker behind yours - and you frowned slightly.

"Hmm, I'm not sure." You muttered, feeling your face heat up when you saw Wanda take her underwear out of the cabinet. " I don't really have anyone to watch there."

"Really? But I thought you and that long-haired cutie were going out." Monica comments excitedly, and you turn your head to her with confusion. "What's his name again? Ben?"

"Bucky." You correct and don't notice the way Wanda is glancing at you out of the corner of her eye, pretending to be busy with her own clothes. "And we're not dating, he's just my friend. Besides, he decided not to run."

Monica makes a noise of agreement, and you look away because she is suddenly changing and you don't want to be disrespectful.

"We'll watch Pietro race, but I'd honestly rather hang out at the arcade." Monica continues. "We can play something after the race, can you call your sister to join us?"

"Sure, Monica." You mutter finishing your shoes. You stand, and turn around, ready to say goodbye, but you face Wanda without a towel and simply freeze.

She, despite the soft pink appearing on her cheeks, holds your gaze, a small smile threatening to leave her lips as she works to put on her bra. You let your gaze lower, your heart racing in your ears as the image of full breasts and down to her belly and-"

"O-kay, I'll see you later." You gasp with a very hot face, stumbling off the bench and running so fast from the locker room that you leave Monica with a confused expression.

"What was that?" She asks, and Gwen, who you didn't even remember to say goodbye to, shrugs her shoulders.

"I think she may be trying to avoid arguments." She suggests, and the comment makes Wanda sigh softly as she finishes dressing. "Speaking of which, Maximoff, any chance you'll go easy on Y/N? She gets stressed when she loses to you."

Wanda chuckles. " Not a chance."

–//–

One of the afternoon competitions, besides the boys' race, was archery. Which meant watching Kate Bishop, a girl from the year before yours, destroy all the older students. Her coach, Clint Barton, kept smiling proudly with each completed trial, and you overheard some students from the Avengers saying how he was sure to write a letter of recommendation there when the time came for Kate to enter the university.

However, this year you were distracted. Bucky and Carol were sitting next to you, clapping and whistling for Kate along with her friends - Yelena Belova, who was coincidentally the sister of your sister's long-time crush, Natasha Romanoff, and Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, the latter two being on the soccer team with Bucky.

While everyone was impressed by the long-range targets, you were trying to keep the image of Wanda out of your head. The problem was that ever since you saw her without a towel in the locker room, the curve of her waist, and of her breasts seemed to have stuck.

"Are you okay?" Bucky's voice snapped you out of your fantasy. "Your face is red."

"I'm fine." You mumble grudgingly, stretching out your legs and letting your cap cover your eyes. "I'm just resting my eyes."

"Kate just hit a target in the sky." He comments. " It was pretty incredible."

"I bet it was." You merely reply, the image of something far more interesting in your head. Bucky makes a confused face but doesn't insist. 

When the next contestant was announced, you grunted softly and started to get up, muttering that you were feeling queasy and were going to get some air. The ironic comment about you being outside already made by Carol was ignored.

You ended up in the back of one of the huts, and as you leaned your back against the wood, you took a deep breath.

Stop thinking about her. Stop thinking-

"Victory is already ours but you didn't have to skip the game." The teasing made you flinch. On any other day, before what happened in the locker room at least, any comment from Wanda would have been rebutted with an equally sarcastic one. But the image of her naked torso was still fresh in your mind, insistent, and you just wanted to be left alone.

"Fuck off, Maximoff." Aggressiveness failed in your tone, as your voice faltered hoarsely over your thoughts. You didn't have time to fix your mistake - Wanda was already mockingly chuckling, slow steps toward you.

"You know, I've been practically fencing back home. I even have a private tutor now." She informs you, to which you just roll your eyes without patience, trying to look at everything but the girl in front of you. "Maybe it's time for that trophy to stamp another name."

You chuckled dryly, stealing a glance at her.  "In your dreams."

"No, I'll just kick your ass in reality." She assures you finally close enough. "It'll be too easy, you're all distracted this year..."

Your breath hitched in your throat as Wanda simply began to move closer, eyes intense and provocative as her tone of voice. You stared at her in shock at the magnetic tension between you, wondering if she would have the courage to break the distance as you wished to do. Wait, since when did you-

"Maximoff, Danvers." The voice of one of the monitors broke the momentum completely and made you both jump in fright, away from each other as if you had been burned. "The game is still going on. What are you two doing alone here? I hope it's not another fight-"

"No, sir-"

"Go mind your own business, Logan." You cut off the apologies of the good girl next to you, practically pushing her out of your way as you moved away from the cabin wall. The monitor grimaced at the hostility, but you knew him long enough to know you wouldn't have a problem. Logan was like an older sibling, and you didn't need another in this position. "We were just talking, or rather, Maximoff was bugging me, as usual."

Wanda snorted angrily, but Logan rolled his eyes impatiently at the whole thing. "Back to the game, girls." He ordered, ignoring your grumbling that you were already walking anyway and waiting for Wanda to do the same.

She followed you back to the bow field - Surprisingly quiet. You were too busy trying not to think about her to notice, and at some point, you both took completely opposite directions, drifting apart in the crowd of students.

Carol, however, noticed you coming, and as soon as you were seated again, she looked at you with a frown.

"What were you and Wanda doing?"

The question startled you as if your sister had been able to read your last thoughts. You grimaced immediately, knowing that your face was blushing.

"What? Nothing." You assured quickly, irritation in your voice. "We just bumped into each other in the entryway."

Carol didn't buy the lie judging by the look on her face, but she didn't have time to question - Kate won the event undefeated, and a crowd of clapping and celebrations erupted in the open field.

With the last match of the day, and having won the vast majority of the challenges, the Avengers were happy enough for a Victory party - Which was nonetheless a direct tease to the Skrulls, who by some miraculous luck, if manage to win all the next day's matches, could win the tournament. In this way, the crowd took the celebration back to the camp's main campfire, where the staff arranged dining tables and benches for the first outdoor meal of the holidays.

Alcohol was obviously not allowed, and that never stopped campers from smuggling it between disguised water bottles. 

As one of the athletes for tomorrow's competitions, you decided to stay away from alcohol - quite unlike your sister, who took advantage of vodka shots to build up the courage to talk to Natasha Romanoff.

You were watching her awkward attempts from a safe distance with Bucky beside you, laughing softly when the boy announced that he was also going to try his luck with the one he liked tonight.

The thing was, Bucky didn't like anyone - As far as you knew. So the information caught you by surprise.

"Wait. What?" 

But he chuckled, waving to a front with his glass, and you frowned trying to find the person. It took you a moment to realize that it was Sam Wilson, Co-Captain of the American Football Team. Avenger.

"Wow, he's..."

"An avenger, I know."

You chuckle, hiding your smile as you look down at your soda glass. "I was going to say handsome."

Bucky was blushing. You gave him the privacy to keep your gaze on Sam, knowing it would get worse if you stared at your friend. 

"Fuck, yeah, I know." He gasped softly making you laugh. 

"When did this happen?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, back at school?" He starts half uncertain. "We played together and he started to follow me on Instagram. One day, just playing conversation and even insults until it turned into a habit..." He jokes with a short laugh. "We came back here and it made sense. You know?"

You giggle at your friend's nervousness and clumsiness, finding the whole thing kind of adorable. "Yeah, I guess so." You say. "Go ahead, talk to him."

He sighs, deciding to turn his glass all at once before waving at you and heading off to talk to Sam Wilson.

Alone, you think about joining some colleagues closer to the fire, but nearby laughter catches your attention.

There is something about Wanda Maximoff's beauty that takes your breath away. And it's not fair that it seems to grow in the dim light of the moon and the stars. And Wanda, surrounded by her friends, laughing at something she has been told, with soft dimples in her cheeks, it is even more unfair the way the image makes your stomach turn nervously.

Has she always been beautiful like this, since her first win, and you were too busy with the game to notice? Or somehow, the school has changed you enough in the last year to notice that although Wanda was the most insufferable person you knew, she needs to be recognized as the most beautiful girl you have ever seen.

And then, if you think about it as you notice her not minding having her moment with her friends interrupted to help a freshman camper who seems lost as to where their cabin is, you'll realize that Wanda, when she's not competing with you and testing all your buttons, is not so insufferable. You will notice that she has always been kind and thoughtful and that people don't make her the leader of everything because she is rich or beautiful, but because she is the best at organizing games, and guiding people. And if you think about it, you will recognize that Wanda is just as tired as you are at the races, sweaty and breathless, and just as bright and hard-working at everything. 

You suddenly think that Wanda deserved to win for the first time, as you have never acknowledged before. She must really be much brighter than you, because she surely wouldn't have taken all this time to realize what she was feeling.

Did it occur to you, so many years after you first laid eyes on her, that now you were really seeing her. There, near the campfire, accepting some more soda, so, so gorgeous.

'Fuck." You gasped in realization under your breath into the night, feeling something burn behind your eyes. 

Wanda, as if she could guess, even sense the moment you pined for her attention, looked away for her friends until she met your gaze. She hesitated before assuming the same expression as always - Ready to torment you - but this time, you looked on the verge of tears when you stared back.

The second she noticed, she frowned in concern, all the masked arrogance falling from her face. But you didn't give her any time to react, you left your glass on the first table you could find and practically ran away from there. From her.

And of course, Wanda would be stubborn and insistent enough to follow you. Not daring to call your name on the way as if she guessed that you were going to run until you disappeared, or worse, turn to her and tell her to mind her own business.

When you walked inside the fencing hall, empty of course, she let her head work without thinking straight about what she was accusing you of.

You barely reached the sword cabinet when she walked in through the ajar door.

"I should have known you would try to cheat." She sneered convinced that she had caught you in the act. You froze, not for the reasons she imagines, your hands still on the closet lock. "That's sad, even for you, Danvers."

"Shut up." 

She chuckled wickedly, crossing her arms as she stopped a little behind you. "Come on, if you admit it, I might consider not reporting you to the juries."

It was your turn to chuckle - Unlike her, almost tearfully. Wanda hesitated, confused, even more so when you turned to her, and your face had tears dried on the way there on your cheeks.

"Get out of here before I do something stupid." 

But Wanda uncrossed her arms, concern on her face. "I've never seen you cry before."

"Wanda, I swear to god-"

"Not even when you broke your arm back in the first year." She recalls as she takes a step forward, and another, raising one of her hands toward your face slowly. You know you should move away, push her before she could realize how much you were trembling, how hot your skin was, but you couldn't move a muscle it. Wanda touched your cheek and you gasped, unable to keep your eyes open. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

It was so tender, so loving that your heart jumped in your chest. You almost sobbed, but instead, your emotions mixed and you raised your hand to her wrist, gripping hard but not pushing away, your angry eyes hiding insecurity that Wanda could only see because she knew you well enough, perhaps better than anyone else, even if neither of you had ever admitted this.

"Why do you care?" That's what you retorted, and it took her by surprise because Wanda didn't expect to have to answer that question. Not to her father, when she insisted that she was going back to Camp this year and he demanded a reason, nor to Pietro who questioned her why she still kept the brooch with the Danvers name on it that you lost to her in a card game in sophomore year. And even less to you, with tears in your eyes inside the hall of the only game she could never win.  Her hesitation made you let go of her wrist, a tired sigh leaving your lips. "You don't. I...please, Wanda, just leave me alone."

You scared her. You looked so small, so insecure and uncertain, vulnerable. You? Never in a million years had you allowed Wanda to see you like this. She didn't know how to cope with it.

Your footsteps moved away, and by your breath, you were crying. She came closer but lost the courage to break your privacy. Her mind filled with anxiety - It didn't matter how long you had known each other. You were rivals, nothing more than that. Wanda had no right to invade your space.

"Go away." You insisted seriously with a voice hoarse with emotion and Wanda shuddered. It was different from the anger of losing - It was almost as if she had stabbed you in the back. Or had hurt you.

She swallowed dryly, and before you could repeat the order, she spoke:

"If I win tomorrow, you will tell me what happened."

The deal hangs in the air for a few moments, carrying the tension between the two of you. Wanda almost decides to leave without an answer when you sigh.

"What if I win?"

She smiles even though you can't see it. "You can pick your prize." She says and doesn't wait for you to think about it, clearing her throat before murmuring goodnight and leaving the hall.

You walk away to the trophy cabinet again and stare at one of the photographs of last year's Fencing team. You and Wanda are in it, in opposite positions. And for the first time in three years, you wish she were standing right next to you.

–//–

Sleep puts some sense into your head. 

You were practically mortified with shame after thinking about the whole interaction with Wanda the night before, imagining that it now gave her enough power to somehow humiliate you and then hating that you thought that way of Wanda, who despite the rivalries, didn't seem the sort of person who would use a moment like that to mock you in the least.

So you had a foolproof plan the next morning: You would win fencing, and ask Wanda to stay away from you for the rest of the summer as your prize, succinctly hiding any unwanted feelings until it was time to leave Camp so that you would never have to see Wanda Maximoff again.

You think you were lucky this whole thing was happening in the last year.

The next day of competitions seemed to have been more aggressive than the previous one. To your complete happiness, the Avengers were irresponsible enough about the previous day's party to get careless.

The Skrull won the day's activities - Tight, you have to admit - but still champions. It wasn't all of them, unfortunately, but it would put both teams through to the final day of matches the next afternoon.

Fencing was one of the last competitions. 

You managed to avoid Wanda and her worried glances all morning, and consequently, your friends and sister, who noticed the lack of fighting between you. 

The fencing hall was considerably full when you arrived. Although most people didn't share much interest in the sport, everyone enjoyed watching you and Wanda compete. 

She was already in uniform when you arrived, and you ignored with a tightness in your chest her attempt to search in your face for any discomfort from the previous night. 

"You're late, Danvers." Professor Jacques Duquesne warned, also in uniform and with a sword at his waist. You sighed wearily, taking off your jacket to put on your uniform.

"Sorry, I... I didn't want to come." You muttered quietly, and the man frowned in confusion.

"What was that?" he asked without having heard, but you forced a smile.

"Nothing. Shall we get started?"

The spectators arranged themselves around you just as the teams were getting into position to compete. As Captains, you and Wanda were the last.

Your team won most of the duels, which on any other occasion would have cheered you up infinitely. But not today, because you spent most of the competition stealing glances at Wanda, who did the same, unsure of whether or not to approach you.

You had to face the champions of her team, as did Wanda with yours, and so when you finally went to face each other, you shared the slightly breathless but undefeated posture.

Wanda removed her protective helmet to drink water, and her slightly ruffled hair and rosy cheeks made your heart soar. 

Somehow, you decided that teasing her was a better idea than complimenting her on how pretty she looked.

"Hey Maximoff, did Daddy pay for private lessons for the rest of your team as well?"

Your team laughed at the joke, but Wanda finished a long sip of the water leisurely, staring at you long enough to make you feel completely clumsy.

As soon as she returned the bottle to the table, she stared at you again.

"Are you really going to pretend nothing happened yesterday, Danvers?" 

Everyone who was paying attention to the conversation whispered in curiosity, and your body froze. Wanda didn't seem to mind the audience one bit, but you huffed impatiently when Carol asked what she was talking about.

Without answering either of them, you turned your back and walked to the mat, waiting for the competition to begin.

As it turns out, teasing and ignoring Wanda seemed to have infuriated her. The hall filled with tension once the last duel began, and you, and all your confidence as an undefeated champion faltered when Wanda became a beast in the sport overnight.

She scored two points in a row, moving so quickly and masterfully that if you didn't have a reputation to uphold you would have congratulated her.

"It looks like we're going to have a new champion this year." Mr.Duquesne commented proudly and teasingly, receiving a chorus of soft celebration from the Avengers present.

You've had enough.

She tried hard to maintain a defensive position, but you scored within seconds of the announcement that the round had begun.

With the tip of the sword still on her chest, you teased:

"I guess we can't buy talent after all." 

Wanda grunted angrily, without waiting for the next round to be announced, spun the sword striking yours, and resumed the duel. You fought back every blow with the mastery of a champion, but Wanda didn't back down once.

"What's the matter, Maximoff, can't get me?" You sneered between one defense and another, irritating her even more. When it looked like she was going to hit you, you spun your body around and hit her in the arm.

The audience, completely tense, split between boos and cheers of celebration. The teacher laughed impressed.

"It's a draw." He said. "Girls, get back to-"

But Wanda attacked you - For a microsecond, you managed to react in time and prevent her from scoring.

She seemed a lot angrier all of a sudden, and you kept up the defense, waiting for a gap that apparently she wasn't going to provide.

Long steps backward to avoid the sword in your direction, in an albeit hurried, fully coordinated dance, Wanda managed to take the fight to the outside. 

The crowd got excited and drowned out Mr.Duquesne's protests about rules, the whole group following you and Wanda outside. Any campers who had previously been uninterested in watching the match took an immediate interest in the fight taking place, and it wasn't long before there was a large number of people in an open circle around the huts, trying to watch.

In one of the deflections, you had to do a somersault between two haystacks to dodge a blow that was impossible to block, stealing certain victory from the girl behind you, who grunted in annoyance.

In the motion, you knocked the helmet off your head.

"Going to play dirty then, Maximoff? Fine." You gasped equally affected at the girl who had paused her attacks. "It's our last year, let's make it count."

Wanda removed her helmet as well, her sword still raised for any attempted attacks. "I'm listening, Danvers." She returns between teeth, and you have to smile.

"I invoke a military challenge." You announce then, surprising her for only half a second. "No masks, no tips." You continue, the audience getting excited. "First one to draw blood wins. I might give you a nice scar to remind you who defeated you."

Some Skrulls laugh, but Wanda is not intimidated. She throws her helmet away and raises her chin in your direction. 

"What about our deal?"

You swallow dryly, but try to disguise it. "Still standing."

A glimmer of a smile forms on Wanda's lips, and she has the nobility to wait for you to nod before attacking next time.

It's suddenly much harder to fight Wanda. You blame these stupid feelings on your chest because once you realize that if you hit her, you're going to hurt her, you just can't do it.

Wanda doesn't seem to have much of a problem with that, because she attacks you with fervor. You think you might lose, because of the way she starts cornering you, and no chance for you to do another flip, so you despair. If you lose, you'll have to confess why you were crying, and that's unacceptable.

She throws a low, clean hit, but you jump. Before Wanda can get ready for the next one, you grab her waist and pull her to you.

The protest about the rules is muffled in your ears as your lips crash against hers. Wanda gasps, closing her eyes and dropping her sword to the ground at the same second the entire audience goes completely silent, shocked.

It's good, no, it's incredible. As breathtakingly overwhelming as you imagined kissing Wanda Maximoff would feel. She gasps against your lips, pressing back, and your chest screams. 

The audience vibrates and you wake up, realizing what you had just done.

You let go of Wanda with a long step away from her, who opens her eyes at the same moment, her breathing now affected for a completely different reason. She looks at you dumbfounded.

"W-what are you-" She tries as she steps forward, her hand raised towards your wrist, but you flinch. You raise your sword, and with one clean strike, hit her palm. 

The cut is small, but it makes her grunt in pain and surprise. You feel like you might start crying again, but you declare in a hoarse voice:

"I won."

Wanda's eyes fill with tears, but you assume they are tears of rage by the way she begins to shout angrily in the teacher's direction, saying that you had cheated while trying to be heard as the audience begins to shout your name and spread out in celebration.

Duquesne is equally in shock and mutters that technically there isn't a rule about kissing your opponent.

They lift you into the air, with the trophy, but when you capture Wanda's head-down posture and the completely hurt look she gives you before turning away, you don't feel like you've won anything.

–//–

With an injury, Wanda was out of all the upcoming competitions, which were sure to count in the Skrulls' favor.

Your school couldn't be happier, and you couldn't be more miserable.

Wanda was walking around the camp with her hand bandaged and you just wanted to get away from the people who kept congratulating you on the duel. 

There was also the matter of the angry stares from the other Avengers, especially your opponent's twin, which only made you feel like the worst person in the world.

When night came, and a few groups decided to set up card tables from poker to blackjack, you slipped outside to breathe properly.

The universe was surely testing you when you met Wanda across the door, and to add to your misfortune, she wasn't alone.

Some stupid guy was cornering her against the wall of one of the booths - clearly flirting by whispering things in her ear that made her giggle shyly.

With your jaw locked, you approached them in hard steps.

"Hey, Maximoff, I want to talk to you." You announced impatiently, feeling your chest burn with the scene in front of you.

She flinched at your sudden arrival, but the boy let out a short laugh.

"We're already in a conversation, cheater." He sneered, his hand on the wall coming down to Wanda's shoulders. "Why don't you go back to your cabin?"

"Listen here asshole-"

But Wanda sighed impatiently, pulling the boy's arm off her with a shove. "Fuck off you two, my day was bad enough to deal with this now."

She stormed off annoyed without caring, and you huffed impatiently. When the boy made mention of following her, you stepped in front of him, receiving a wry laugh.

"Back off, Danvers." He warned. "You may be a girl, but if you piss me off I'll break your face."

The kick to the ball made him bend his knees, grunting in pain. You didn't let him fall, holding him by the shoulders to mock against his ear:

"It's more the other way, don't you think?" He couldn't answer, still shaking from the blow. You pushed him away, and he fell to the ground, holding his front. "Stay away from her, she's mine."

Despite the pain, he gasped in confusion, "I thought you two hated each other, you maniac!"

Without bothering to respond, you headed off in the direction the girl had left.

Wanda was clearly not in the mood for conversation, but you had to chuckle as you realized where she was going - or practically running at hard paces. 

The fencing hall was empty of course. Even the Professor had joined the rest of the staff for the day's celebrations, and so you followed Wanda without any concern.

"I don't want to talk to you, Danvers." She warned between teeth still on her back, hearing your breaths panting from the rush of having to catch up with her. You chuckle humourlessly, closing the door behind you.

"But you got time for some idiot to flirt with you?" your retort came out so bitter - so jealous - that Wanda turned her face to you with a frown in complete confusion.

"How is that your problem?" She demanded but you shrugged relaxedly. The lack of an answer only irritated her more. "I've had enough of you for today don't you think? Leave me alone."

You snickered taking a step forward that made her lock her jaw.

"Come on, what's this?" You teased. "One defeat and you get tired of all? Don't you even want to try a rematch?"

It was Wanda's turn to chuckle, the tension growing between the two of you with every second. 

"So you can cheat again? Hard pass."

You smiled, raising your hands in the air as a sign of surrender. 

"I don't need to cheat, Maximoff." You retorted. "Everyone, including you and I, knows I'm the best." You declare receiving a snort and a roll of the eyes. But you continue to smile, not losing your confidence. "In fact, I bet I can beat you even without a sword."

Wanda shook her head. "You know what, Danvers? You must have had a few beers, huh?" She deduced, motioning to the sword cabinet and continuing to speak without giving you a chance to deny it. "Any other day, I'd tell you to fuck off and leave me alone. But you were a brat today, that whole scene and whatever manipulation you were trying to pull off with the crying and then the kissing..."

You hesitate, losing your posture completely. "Wanda, I wasn't-"

But she chuckles, interrupting you. "Whatever it is, let's put an end to it." She says seriously, arming herself with one of the swords. "You got what you wanted. Me, out of all competitions because of this stupid injury and your team winning tomorrow. Yep, I admit it. Everyone knows you guys are going to win baseball, it's your school's specialty, and there's no reason to deny it. But let's be honest about today: you cheated. And I want you to acknowledge that I would have won."

You sigh, deciding to put an end to those games with each other, as Wanda wanted. But not in the way she expects.

Shrugging, you gesture with open arms. "I'm really sorry, Wanda." You say in a false tone of regret. "I'm sorry you're such a bad loser."

Wanda grunted in irritation, and in the blink of an eye, spun the sword around - Hitting your open hand and mirroring your bruises. You gasped in pain, taking a step backward.

"What the hell-"

But your shock was short-lived, Wanda moved and you reacted. Without a sword, your only option was to dodge and that was the hardest task. 

"Just admit it, Danvers!" Wanda demanded between one blow and another, growing breathless as the movements went on. "I am. Better.Than. You." Each word was punctuated with an attempt to hit you - Not really to hurt but to lean in and mark. 

She finally hit you for the second time when she trapped you between one cupboard and another. You protested in irritation at the gentle burning on your thigh.

"You little shit." You cursed low as you dodged her last. Wanda smiled in satisfaction. 

Somehow, you managed to get around her after a miscalculated blow that pinned her sword to a cushion. Wanda got busy trying to pull the item out and gave you enough time to jump on her.

Her healthy hand tried to pull the sword out to hit you but you kicked the handle, and the item flew to the ground. Wanda protested breathlessly, trying to struggle away, but you pressed her against the wall of the room by the waist.

Faces flushed from the exertion and proximity, she looked at you with a fury in her eyes that didn't just look like anger.

"Fuck off, Danvers, let me go!" She demanded clearly affected, her fists closed against your shoulders. You weren't thinking straight - Since when did Wanda look so beautiful when she was pissed off? - She tried to throw punches but you grabbed her fists, holding them tightly against you. "You just can't help it, can you? You know you can't beat me and you just keep cheating!"

"Yeah, I can't help it." You pant, letting your gaze fall to her mouth. Her breathing hitches and when you start to lean in, Wanda gasps, stopping struggling.

"Don't." She asks in a whisper, and you stop leaning in the same instant, worried eyes scanning her face. Wanda's fill with tears. "I can't take it... if it's just a game... if you don't mean it."

Your heart races in your chest, threads of hope burning outwards.

You stare into her eyes, trying to read everything she hasn't explained. "You... You want me to mean it?"

Wanda sighs incredulously, tired. 

"I've been waiting for you to notice me for three years, Danvers." 

"W-what?"

Wanda looks away, despite her rosy cheeks like your own, she looks sad.

"I'm just tired of all this cat and mouse between us." She continues. "Trying to capture your attention for the few days we have together each year. You've never seen me that way, and I just don't have it in me to keep trying to get you to notice me." She declares with a sigh. "Let me go, okay? It's our last year, you'll never see me again after this spring, it doesn't have to be weird on our last days. We can do a truce, and be mature about-"

Instead of letting her finish her completely meaningless monologue for feelings that Wanda has no idea are much reciprocated, you just kiss her. Though abrupt, your lips are soft on hers. She shudders, first surprised and then affected, ready to reciprocate when you loosen her.

"I notice you, Wanda." You confess in a husky voice and short breath. "Every damn day of this camp, from the first moment I saw you. I noticed you, and I liked you. So much, it infuriated me. All I could think about was you and your face and your jokes and every little smile of victory. I never hated you, Wanda, I just hated how much I cared about you."

She gasps softly, trying to believe the confessions. "B-but you never said anything..."

"Neither did you." You retort with a small smile. "We just competed. Yelling at each other, trying to... just put it out, never saying the right words. Well, I'll do the honors, I guess. Wanda, I like you. I'm in love with you. The whole puppy love, to the moon and back, lovey-dovey, carry a torch for-"

Wanda interrupts your sweet teasing with a soft, emotional giggle. "Shut up, you idiot." She says, pulling you by the collar of the blouse to kiss you again. Slower than the other time, bringing delicious shivers to your entire body. She breaks away only to say she feels the same way.

Then you just kiss her again, just to make sure. It's easy to get addicted to the feeling of her lips on yours until her tongue slides over and starts to get too hot all around. The sound of lips slapping together mingles with affected gasps until the pace picks up and all the accumulated lust from so long of rivalry burns between you.

Wanda grows impatient - Her mouth firmly pressed to yours distracts you from where her hands are moving. You grunt affected as she scratches under your shirt, your back, and your torso, trying to pull you over her. 

You press your hips together to keep her against the wall pulling out an affected whimper that makes you shiver - But surrendered to the urge, you forget about recent events and press your open palm to the wall for support. The pain is immediate and makes you break the kiss with a yelp.

Wanda opens her eyes worriedly, trying to push all the arousal away. "What's wrong?" She asks, but you're already bringing your bruised hand to chest height.

"I forgot about it." You mumble, trying to squeeze your hand to make the pain go away. Wanda bites back a smile.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?" she teases, getting a short laugh out of you. Your instinct is to kiss her again at the same intensity as before, but Wanda doesn't let you, breaking the session the next moment. "Easy tiger." 

A little breathless and definitely missing kissing her, you ask, "Don't you want it anymore?"

She licks her lips, looking away to try and gain some rationality again. "I don't think you'll be able to do much with a bruised hand, huh?" It's clearly a joke, but you're too turned on to catch it.

"Well, I have another one, and my mouth..." Wanda stares at you in stunned shock, her face burning and her eyes darkening a little. You grunt in shame, hiding your face in her collarbone. "Shit, you didn't mean it."

She giggles awkwardly, wrapping her arms around your waist. "You need a bandage, baby. We'll have time for this later."

You raise your gaze to her again, and Wanda stares at you doubtfully from your expression. "I like it when you call me that."

She smiles, teasing and loving at the same time. "Better than shithead, I suppose."

"They both have their charm, I guess." You joke back managing to make her laugh before stealing a few more kisses.

All the way to the infirmary, all you can think about is how happy you are - And how your friends are going to adjust to the new dynamic.

–//–

Falling into a routine with Wanda was as easy as falling for her.

The familiar teasing didn't end - In a way, it got infinitely better, because, after each little bickering, you and Wanda made up with lots of kisses.

The most absurd thing was your sister's reaction. No surprise at all.

"I mean, everyone saw you two kissing." She retorted unimpressed, continuing to eat her breakfast as if you hadn't spent the previous day preparing the best way to tell. You huffed indignantly, but Wanda sighed, giving you a pat on the back before going to sit down. The same reaction for your friends, who seemed even somewhat reassured that now they wouldn't have to endure the arguing.

As for the rest of the people, well, everyone else had their own lives to take care of to give a damn about what Wanda and you have been up to.

With the baseball game approaching and the end of Spring Break, there was an understanding between you and Wanda that your time together was coming to an end. You didn't want to talk about it - to avoid creating impossible expectations if you considered the distance between California and New York and the hurt of an inevitable goodbye. 

For now, you and Wanda were enjoying as much time together as possible, and that included escaping the game to make out before and between breaks.

Wanda giggled affectedly at the tickling your fingers did next to her hips, an attempt to make her relax to what was about to happen between you since the first kisses began. The question hung in the air and the way your breaths were uncompressed and your clothes crumpled.

"They'll start looking for us at some point..." Wanda recalled, the noise of the game resuming in the background, muffled by the closed doors of the empty locker room where you two were hiding. Despite the warning, her hands were entwined behind your neck, and her legs tight around your waist. The cheer skirt pulled up by your hands on her thighs.

You hum in understanding, distracted by the soft skin of her collarbone. You traced a path down to the valley of her covered breasts and Wanda shuddered, moaning in anticipation.

But as soon as your hands reached under her skirt, fingers playing with the fabric of her panties, Wanda tensed anxiously, biting her lips as she sought your gaze. 

"Is everything okay?" You asked immediately, stopping your movements and staring back at her. "Do you want me to continue...?"

Wanda let out a broken breath, the look full of anxiety made you frown. You were ready to assure her it was okay if she refused when she replied:

"I want to but... I've never done it before." She confesses in a small whisper, and your heart skips a beat. "And also, I had to talk to my friends about this, and they told me it would be special because we like each other but I just kept thinking that it's going to happen and it will be amazing and when you leave, I'll never be able to do it again without remembering you and I'll be missing you back home..."

"Hey, breathe." You interrupted her anxious babbling with a small chuckle, moving your hands to her face, and squeezing her cheeks for a moment. "God, you're so beautiful." You murmured staring at her adoringly. Wanda blushed, looking away, "Hey, look at me, sweetheart. You want to talk about leaving?"

She swallowed dryly, nodding. "I'm sorry." She mumbles immediately. "I know we kind of agreed not to talk about it, but... fuck, I really like you. If I, you know... have sex with you, I'm just sure I'll fall harder. And I don't know if I want to go through the pain of losing you in a few days."

You swallowed dryly, caressing her cheeks as you absorbed her words. Wanda was even more nervous at your silence.

"Say something, please."

You smiled, staring at her. "I'm sorry, I just... I really am in love with you, Wanda." You confessed tenderly, making her blush. "Sex or no sex, I really am. And saying goodbye to you will hurt." 

Wanda nods sadly before hugging you. "Yeah, I know." When she sniffles softly, you kiss her neck to calm her, until her breathing stabilizes again and Wanda releases you to kiss you gently, once and twice, until it starts to get hot again and she sighs against your lips, her trembling fingers groping your body unhurriedly as if she wants to memorize.

"Baby..." She called softly against your lips, her hands moving up into your blouse and making you shudder. "I want to make love to you." She whispered taking all the air out of your lungs. "Give me something to remember you by."

Despite the nervousness and excitement, you managed to tease as your hands retraced their way under her skirt. "What, the matching scars aren't enough for you, darling?" 

Wanda lets out an affected giggle at the proximity to your joke about the healed bruises on your hands, but the sound turns to a deep sigh when her panties slip down her legs. You maintain eye contact with her, pulling the item down until you take it off by her ankles. Wanda bites her lip hard as she sees you on your knees, moving up your way again with kisses on her legs.

Her muscles quiver as you kiss the inside of her thighs, and Wanda inhales a shaky breath, her hands gripping the table she's sitting on tightly.

"Be gentle." She asks as she feels the kisses coming closer to where she is burning. You let out a soft laugh, rising again to kiss her on the mouth. Wanda has no time to be eager for the delay of her relief, because you grab her waist and pull her closer, the friction between your hips making her whimper. 

Your tongue slides over hers hungrily, kissing her until she's dizzy with arousal, and instinctively starts forcing her hips against yours - The uncovered intimacy smearing the wetness on the fabric of your leg and making you moan against her.

One of your hands spreads her legs open by her thigh, fingers coming up fast to tease her entrance and make Wanda break the kiss with an affected whimper.

"Y-yes, baby, please, no more teasing." Wanda moans, throwing her hips against your hand. "I'm ready."

You grunt softly, tentatively cupping the folds between your fingers, spreading the wetness over the entire length. "Hmm, I can feel that." You teased softly, pulling your hand away to get a taste. Wanda choked, blushing heavily as she watched you suck your fingers one by one, rolling her eyes in pleasure as you tasted her. The next second, you moved your hand back between her legs, staring her in the eye before sliding a finger inside. She moaned at the intrusion, and you let her get used to it, encouraging her with your free hand on her back, relaxing her with a gentle massage.

"There you go... all the way in." You narrated softly, having to maintain all mental control not to fuck her roughly, feeling your body vibrate with the sensation of Wanda's soft wet walls on your fingerprints. She pulsed against you, her hands gripping your blouse tightly as the repetitive motion made her legs twitch. "God, you're so tight." You grunted, hiding your face in her collarbone and angling your palm to press against her clit as well. Wanda let out a loud yelp, wrapping one of her legs around your waist and increasing your reach.

"M-more, please-I just need-" She tried to formulate, starting to follow your movements with her hips. You shushed her against her neck, kissing your way to her ear. 

"Relax, I'll give you what you need, baby." Was your only warning before removing yourself from her, only to sink two fingers inside next time. Wanda gasped at the intrusion, but you swallowed her moan with your own mouth, not moving inside her until she was ready.

Soon, your movements had resumed, and with your mouth glued to hers, you swallowed each breathless moan as Wanda began to tremble in your fingers, squeezing as her orgasm built. 

Just as she was panting and restless, the locker room door opened. She raised desperate eyes to you, but you covered her mouth with your free hand and sped up your movements.

Your skin muffled her whimpers, and you bit your lips at the sinful image in front of you.

"Danvers? Maximoff? Are you guys here? The coach is looking for two." it was some of the monitors, probably checking the camp behind whoever was running away from the game. You reached a deep sweet spot inside Wanda and she threw her head back.

The monitor grumbled in frustration and the door closed again - You barely noticed, bringing the girl beneath you to her climax. Wanda spread herself in your hand, her body spasming against you and a long muffled moan against your hand.

Her pupils were so dark they nearly hold any green.

"Fucking gorgeous." You praised as you removed your hand to kiss her, and Wanda corresponded with difficulty, smiling breathlessly as she tried to recover from the intensity of her first orgasm.

As soon as she could properly match it, Wanda dominated the kiss - One hand moving up to the back of your neck, to tug at your hair as she bit your bottom lip, drawing a soft moan from you.

"Please, can we go back to the cabin?" It sounded like a request but felt like an order by the way Wanda dug her nails into your waist. A warning. "I want you to be comfortable when you go down on me."

"God, Wanda, you're such a tease." You grumbled in a mixture of arousal and embarrassment, moving like an obedient puppy as she stood up on shaky legs and guided you by the hand back to the cabins. 

Her panties are tucked tightly in your pocket.

–//–

Disgustingly adorable, is how your friends would describe the last few days in the company of you and Wanda, who have apparently unlearned how to function away from each other.

Especially the last day - Without any concern for the rest of the world while in an intense make-out session against the bus that was supposed to take you and Carol back to California.

"Jesus, I'm going to have nightmares." Your sister complained with a grimace to her now official girlfriend - Natasha Romanoff - who was putting away the last bag in the family car that was going to take her home. The redhead laughed, looking at where Carol was staring and knowing she was referring to your hand firmly squeezing Wanda's ass as she giggled between the kisses you two shared. 

"Why are they behaving like they're never going to see each other again? It's traumatizing." It wasn't Nat, but Bucky who spoke as he arrived with Sam beside him, who laughed in agreement. Carol made a mischievous face.

"Well, maybe that's my fault? I may have forgotten to mention to my lovely sister that Nat told me that Wanda was going to the same college as her next year."

"Pretty mean, Danvers." Nat commented with a certain pride in her voice. Carol laughed.

"When you share a room with a couple in love, you'll understand." She retorted. The group continued to watch you and Wanda, until you kissed deeply in farewell until she let you on the bus. Carol sighed. "Maybe if she starts whining on the way, I'll consider saying that she and Wanda chose the same college without even knowing it."

The group chuckled, saying goodbye one last time.

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Summary: Modern Eddie + reader are early 30s. Eddie is the famous lead singer/guitarist of Corroded Coffin, who has gotten himself into legal trouble due to his antics and drug use. Eddie broke your heart many years ago and he receives a letter from you asking to meet to talk about what happened between you two so long ago. Secrets are talked about, mental walls are built and broken down. Most of this series will be in Eddie's POV. (I will also be putting song inspirations on each part 🤍)

Word Count: 5k

A/N: There will be a LOT of mentions of heavy drug use in this series. This series DOES NOT glorify the use of drugs. It is not cool, it is not fun, it is something that destroys people and everyone around them. I have loved and lost people I know to drug and alcohol use, a lot of what you read here is my own personal experience from what I have seen with my own eyes. I hope this series will spread awareness and will give anyone and everyone who reads this hope. If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please know you are not alone, there is help out there.

The silence is almost deafening as I sit there in my dimly lit office, tapping my finger against the arm of the chair; the metal of my ring clinking as I stare at my therapist, Dr. Catherine Ryan, in front of me. She had a kind smile, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk today. 

“What’s bothering you?” She asks gently. 

I gaze at her, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. A stupid habit I formed when I stopped using six months ago. 

Let’s see, I’m tired of the noise inside my head that is constantly reminding me what a piece of shit I am. I’m lucky that my bandmates don’t hate my guts for the shit I put them through on tour when I was needle deep in a heroin fog and couldn’t remember the lyrics to a fucking song I wrote. My music career is only surviving because the world thinks we’re on a hiatus to write our next album when I actually did a stint in rehab and have court ordered mandatory therapy once a week. The only way I can have therapy is if she comes to my escape cabin in upstate New York and escorted in and out by a security guard. 

Oh, I also can’t stop thinking of you, the one whose heart I broke fifteen years ago back in Hawkins, Indiana because I was too scared to love or be loved. The same you who mailed me a letter that I received at my P.O. Box in Boston three days ago, that I haven’t opened yet and sits in my back pocket folded up, because I’m too much of a pussy to see what you have to say.  

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I tell her, taking a cigarette out of my pocket. I let the smoke fill my lungs and exhale the smoke away from her. 

“What do you want to talk about?” She asks, crossing her legs. I stare at her long legs, and my eyes scan up her body. She was curvy and thick, with a perfect set of tits and stunning green eyes. I almost laugh, if a beautiful woman like her was in my house six months ago, it wouldn’t take long before I’d have her bent over the back of my couch, fucking her until she couldn’t take it anymore. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, or whatever the fuck the saying is. 

“Eddie, this is mandatory therapy. I can’t help you if you’re not willing to talk. We’ve had four sessions so far, and the only thing we have talked about is your drug habit.” She seemed annoyed, and I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m only here because of my drug habit.” 

“Is that all?” 

She was testing me, and I smile at her, leaning my elbows against my knees. “You know, I bet you are really good at helping people and are able to get your patients to sit here and cry about their shitty lives or whatever it is people tell you. But I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, you’re not gonna get it from me.” 

“You keep up a guard. Defense mechanism, it’s common in people who have been hurt before.” She says, scribbling a note down. 

I narrow my eyes. “I sense judgment in your tone, and I’m not sure I care for it.” 

“It’s not judgement, Eddie. It’s an observation. I’m observing you.” 

I sit back against my chair and scoff, lighting up another cigarette with the ember of the one I just had. I inhale deeply. “I think our session should be cut early today.” 

She closes her notebook and gives you a kind smile. “If that’s what you want.” 

“I do.” I tell her. 

I get up from my seat as she stands, walking her to the door where the security guard waited outside. I may be an asshole, but I know how to be a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead when your name is Eddie Munson. She nods at me as she leaves, handing me her card for the time of the next session for next week and I close the door behind her. I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and let out a deep sigh. I plop myself on the couch, hearing the crinkle of the letter in my back pocket and I lift my hips to pull it out. I look at the neat print on the front; seeing your handwriting brought back so many memories that I had forgotten about. 

Why would you send me a letter? Is it just to tell me how happy you’ve been these last fifteen years since I’ve been gone, that you’re married with children, thriving in your thirties? 

“Well, the only way to know is if you open the letter, dipshit.” I mutter to myself. I groan, shaking my head as I rip the letter open and unfold it. It was only two pages, but you had written a lot. 

 Hey, You’re a tough guy to find, being famous and all. I didn’t think this P.O. Box was real at first, but I ended up tracking down Gareth and he told me it was real. I can’t believe he still has the phone number he’s had since high school.  I don’t know why I’m writing you a letter, I guess I could’ve just texted you, he did give me your number, but I wanted this to feel more personal. Like when I’d write you those stupid folded notes in class.  I know it’s been a long time, and you’re probably thinking I’m absolutely insane, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately. There are so many things that I wanna say to you. There are so many things that were left unsaid, and I guess lately it’s been bothering me. You’re probably not even going to get this, so I don’t even know why I’m continuing to write.  I don’t want you to think that I hated you or have hated you this whole time. It would be easier to hate you, believe me, I’ve tried but I physically cannot have that kind of power over me. I’m proud of you, Eddie. You worked so hard to get to where you are, and you made your dreams come true. I knew you could.  I want to tell you I’m proud of you in person; to let you know that what happened in the past stays there and we can both move forward in a way. I mean, I just told you now. I know you’re really busy and I feel stupid now. But I will be in Boston in December, the week of the 18th while my aunt is down in Florida for the week, house sitting. Gareth had mentioned you and the band were taking a hiatus to focus on the writing and doing some self reflecting. I would love to see you, especially with the holiday season. 

It’s not every day you get to see the boy you’ve known since diapers be on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, selling out stadiums. 

Please don’t feel obligated, though. 

I suddenly forgot how to swallow, and I almost choke on my own saliva. You had written your phone number on the bottom of the last page. I swing my legs onto the floor, taking my phone off the coffee table. I scroll to my contact list, and add your name, along with your phone number. 

I pause, my hands begin to shake, and I inhale deeply. 

“No no no, not now, not now.” Grimacing, I sit back on couch, closing my eyes as my stomach turns to knots and my chest feels like it was going to explode. I can feel the sweat bead at the back of my neck as the panic attack feels like it’s choking me out and I groan. I go into the drawer of the coffee table, pulling out the lorazepam pill bottle, taking a minute to open the cap because my hands were so sweaty. I throw the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry and breathe in through my nose. 

This happens more often now, especially since being off dope, I had to learn how to deal with them like a normal thirty-four-year-old man. It took a lot of convincing for my doctors to give me the lorazepam, but apparently threatening to go and take a hot shot of heroin to kill myself was convincing enough for them to give me the lowest dose of the stupid pill. 

I close my eyes. Thinking back to how I got here; how I could’ve lost everything because of my own stupidity, because of my inability to slow down, because I took sex, drugs, rock and roll too literally. All because I refuse to let love into my soul and hold on tight. 

One year earlier

The dressing room walls echo with the moans of myself and...I don’t even remember her name. Sarah? Shelly? It doesn’t even matter. I only see the back of her head anyway; she was very blonde. I hold onto her hips tightly, slamming my cock in and out of her. She was screaming like a porn star, and I’m pretty sure she was putting on a show. 

“Oooooh, just like that baby. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Oh goddd, you’re so fucking good.” She moans and I roll my eyes, slamming into her harder just to get her to shut up. I reach over to the coffee table to grab my tiny vile of cocaine, I pop open the cap, and pull out of her for a moment. She was still rolling her hips as I sprinkle the drugs onto her ass.

“Stop fucking moving.” I tell her, grabbing the plastic straw and snorting back the drugs into my airways. She moans again when she hears me snort another line off her, and I slam myself back into her. My head falls back in pleasure, the effects of the cocaine causing every single part of my body to pulsate, and I can feel my orgasm approaching. 

“Fuuuuck.” I moan, my rhythm getting sloppy, and she groans. 

“Cum inside me baby, cum inside me.” She moans and I immediately feel myself go soft. Fuck this. I stop moving and slide myself out of her, she turns to look at me, her mouth opened in a gasp. “Why did you stop?”

I take a cigarette out of my pack and light it. “Get out.” 

“What?” She snaps. 

“Get your shit and get the fuck out of my dressing room. Telling me to cum inside you, I know what you’re doing.” I take her dress off the floor and throw it at her. Her eyes narrow and she gets up from the couch, throwing the dress over her head. 

“You weren’t even that good, fucking junkie!” She yells at me, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lungs. She looked like a cartoon character. Her eyes wild, her hair a wild mess, her fake tits bouncing as she storms out of the room. I lean back on the couch, a little mad that I didn’t cum, but whatever, that’s what my hand is for. I don’t know why I invite these women back to my dressing room after every show. Most of the time, these women don’t even know the words to our songs, they just want to be able to tell their friends they fucked a rockstar.  I sigh, opening the vile and do another bump. I’m one hundred percent in love with heroin, but I’m an addict. Cocaine just takes the edge off when I need it to. I tie my hair back in a low bun, blowing my bangs out of my face. I stand, catching a glimpse of myself in the fluorescent lit vanity mirror. The lighting made me look terrible; I was thinner than normal. The ram skull tattoo across my abdomen looked discolored, but I know it was just the way the light was hitting it. I was losing muscle mass in both of my arms, but since tattoo sleeves covered both my arms, no one could notice. No one knew how bad it was getting with the dope; I honestly preferred to suffer in silence about it, but I knew they noticed. I would feel Gareth’s eyes burn into the back of my skull whenever I would escape to go into a bathroom, or immediately go into my hotel room to get started on my new supply. I felt terrible keeping it from him, he was my brother, my bandmate, but he didn’t need to worry. I was fine, at least that’s what I told myself. 

We had awhile before we hit the next city of the tour. The tour bus felt too crowded, too stuffy. We all decided it would make sense to hide out in a hotel for a few days before we got to Atlanta.  I requested my own room of course, the supply I just bought felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Isn’t that what they say about money? 

Money meant nothing to me; if I lost it all tomorrow, I wouldn’t care. That’s the beauty of this drug, you don’t have a care in the world once that shot courses through your veins. 

I lock the door to my room after saying goodnight and head into the bathroom. I pull my shirt over my head and undo the belt from my jeans. I set everything up on the table: fresh needle, the drugs, and water bottle cap.  It doesn’t take long for me to pull the dope into the syringe, at this point it’s like riding a bike for me. I sit on the floor against the bathtub, I wrap the belt around my left arm, pulling it tight with my teeth and clench my fist. I see the most perfect vein pop up in the bend of my arm; I have to be careful though, I can’t go to the same spot twice or else I’ll blow up my veins and then more people will notice.  I’ve always hated needles, isn’t that ironic? I’m thinking that as the tip of it pinches my skin and my thumb is on the trigger, slowly pushing it down.

“A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…” I sing softly, feeling the sweet burn of the heroin flow like a tsunami in my veins. My eyes flutter close as the most beautiful feeling overcomes me; my head lulls back against the porcelain and I feel a smile grace my lips. 

A loud knock at my door startles me out of my high, and I’m pissed. 

“Hang on a second.” I mutter and awkwardly pull myself up, undoing the belt from my arm. I place the cap on the needle and toss it behind the doors under the sink. 

Knock knock knock knock knock

I toss my sweatshirt over my head, putting a cigarette to my lips. “Yeah, I hear you! Fuck, I’m coming.” 

I open the door to find Gareth standing there with his arms crossed, I light the cigarette and wave my hand, tilting my head at him. “Yeah?” 

“What are you doing?” He asks me. 

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m not doing anything.” I inhale on the cigarette, and he continues to stare at me. If there was a God, I thank him for giving me brown eyes, because at least he wouldn’t be able to see how my pupils look like pinholes. “Do you wanna come in?” 

I move to the side, and he walks by me, I shut the door, locking it. 

“Do you want a beer or anything?” I ask him, going into the mini fridge, pulling out two, I could feel myself about to nod, but I quickly stand up, clearing my throat so I can at least look like I’m not fucked up. 

“No, I’m fine.” His eyes scan every inch of my room, the floor where my clothes were, Sweetheart laying on the foot of my bed. My necklace I always wore with the red guitar pick laid on the nightstand by the bed. I always take it off before I shoot up, I don’t know why, I think something is going to happen to it if I don’t, it means a lot to me. His eyes fix on my belt on the bathroom floor, he doesn’t say anything, but I know what he’s thinking. 

“Gareth, if you got something to say, man, just say it.” I tell him, leaning against the small table, I ash my cigarette into a coca cola can. 

He turns to me; he was still blessed with a baby face that I remember from school. “How bad is it getting?” He almost whispers.

“How bad is what getting?” 

“The drugs, man. Come on dude, I know you’re not stupid.” He sits across from me on the foot of the bed, gently moving Sweetheart over. 

I sigh. “Gareth, I’m fine. It’s not getting bad.”

He puts his head down, shaking his head. “Don’t fucking bull shit me, Eddie. I’ve known you for almost two decades. Have you even looked at yourself lately?”

I close my eyes, feeling a wave of anxiety hit my lower gut, and I force it to go away by not caring. “Don’t worry about me, man. I’m serious.”

“Of course, I’m gonna fucking worry!” He stands up, his face full of rage. “If you fuck up this tour, our entire music career is in the gutter! How many times have I had to bail you out when you’ve been coming down from a cocaine binge and are late to rehearsal? How many goddamn times have I had to convince cops not to arrest you when you’re inebriated beyond belief. It’s getting fucking old, man.” He towers over my 6-foot frame and again, I start laughing. 

His eyes widen. “Are you seriously laughing right now? 

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “I am, because it’s funny how you think I’m gonna be the one who’s gonna fuck up this tour. I built this band from the ground up, nothing and no one is gonna fuck that up.”

“Oh fuck you, dude!” He yells at me. “You built this? What happened to you saying this entire band was built on friendship, loyalty and fucking friends who play nerdy games? What happened to that Eddie?” 

“Dead.” I give him a sideways smile. “Dead dead dead.” 

He looks at me incredulous. “Wow. You’re an actual nightmare.” 

“You’re the one who decided to knock on my door.” I place the cigarette in the can, hearing it sizzle out. I cross my arms over my chest, already itching for another shot. “Anything else?” 

He scoffs, walking towards the door and stepping out. “No. Have a good night, Eddie.” 

“Yeah, you too!” I scream at his back as I shut the door, locking all the locks and kicking the bottom of it. Suddenly, the chair near the table gets a boot from me, followed by the lamp, the paintings on the walls. I smash the beer bottles against the windows, and when I’m finally spent, I collapse on the bathroom floor, digging out the needle. I’ll leave the hotel a couple hundred dollars to pay for whatever I damaged; I’ll hopefully remember to clean up tomorrow.

I’m pretty sure I put too much in it this time, because I’m riding something wild right now. My eyes are half lidded, my breathing is slow but it’s such a peaceful feeling.

“Makes the medicine go down…medicine go down…”

The beginning of that year was when shit started going downhill fast for me. Once I had gotten my panic attack under control, and I felt calmer, I sent you a text message, realizing that tomorrow was the 18th. I typed up, deleted, typed up, deleted, about six different times before finally sending you: Hey stranger, it’s Eddie. Pretty wild to hear from you. I’m currently up in my cabin in upstate NY, but if you are gonna be in Boston. I can make the trip. It would actually be awesome to see you. Hope you are well. 

I forgot how nervous you made me, even back then. You were such a kind, beautiful soul, who loved me and took care of me when I didn’t deserve it. I was so nervous all the time because I really loved you too, but I couldn’t…wouldn’t let myself feel it. You were the only woman in my life that knew me, and actually saw me. You were my best friend, always my partner in group activities in elementary school. It was us against the world the minute I kissed you for the first time when we were eighteen, and then it ended with me, burying my head in the sand, because I’m a fucking idiot. 

My phone dings and I see your name pop up.  Hey!!! Wow, your own cabin huh? Are you a mountain man or something this winter season? I’m sorry if my letter was all over the place, I really should’ve just texted you but, whatever. Here we are now. Yes! Let’s meet, I can give you a spot to meet for coffee? Unless you just want my aunt’s address, I don’t know how Boston is when it comes to famous people. 

I type up a message: Boston is one of those cities that is wild to play on stage in front of, but the people don’t give a fuck if you’re famous. Which is why I bought a condo there, I can live out some downtime in peace. Coffee sounds great. Just let me know a time when you are settled. 

You quickly respond: Ha! Boston is pretty rad. I’m already here, I got here a day early. I know you got a pretty long drive so we can meet the day after tomorrow if you’d like? Say around 10?

I type up that that time and date worked for me and begin packing a small suitcase to take with me on the trip. 

I honestly felt like I was dreaming all this; I get sober, you, a woman that was literally the one that got away because of my own fucking deep-rooted issues, comes back into my life and wants to see me? I feel like I’m living the Notebook. Except, the rated R version where Ryan Gosling is an ex-junkie, who doesn’t build houses, or used to blow cocaine off a woman’s asshole. 

I groan, I already know I’m gonna fuck this up again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The coffee shop you chose was a place I’ve never been before, it seemed newer, and no one batted an eye when I walked in. I take off my sunglasses and scan the place. It was quaint, quiet, with rustic undertones but mostly modern. 

“Eddie?”

My eyes immediately fix on you, sitting in the back booth by a small window, and I feel my heart flutter down to my stomach. God, you were stunning. Your eyes still shone that sparkle in them, your smile was just as adorable as I remembered, especially the dimples in your cheeks. I whisper your name and find myself quickly walking towards you. You wrap your arms around my shoulders, and I let out a deep sigh, almost lifting you off your feet, as I hug the curves of your waist, burying my face into your shoulder. We stay like that for a while, you giggle into my chest, telling me you couldn’t believe it was me and that I was here. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to. We pull away and you are still smiling, looking into my eyes, you lift your hand to gently curl your fingers into my hair and I smile at you. 

“I love that you still kept this hair.” You say, shaking your head, looking like you’re still trying to process that I’m standing in front of you. 

I gently cup your face, swallowing hard, studying you. You turn your cheek into my hand, and I slowly remove it. You nod for me to sit, and I scoot over into the booth, peeling off my leather jacket. I still stare at your face; I couldn’t believe you were real. The server comes over to take our coffee order, I get mine hot with triple espresso and a shot of caramel, and you get an iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and almond milk. I smile, you’ve kept the same order since you started drinking coffee. 

Your eyes fix on mine, and I smile at you, sipping my coffee. “You haven’t changed.” I tell you softly. 

“My back will have to disagree with you.” You laugh, spinning the straw with your finger. “You haven’t either, aside from more tattoos.” 

I smile; remembering that you were there for most of my smaller ones. I had convinced you back then to get a large tattoo that started from under your breast, all the way down to the top of your hip; that was always my favorite part of you to taste. I cross my legs, feeling a tingle in my lower belly. Fucking pervert. 

I notice a few finger tattoos on your right hand, and I nod to them. 

“I told you they were addicting.” I laugh. “How many do you have now?” 

You laugh, a sound so beautiful to my ears, I want to cry. “Sixteen? Seventeen?”

My eyes widen and I laugh. “No way! Let me see.” 

You meet my eyes, your face turning crimson. Of course, there were hidden ones, I immediately feel like I overstepped and go to apologize when you speak. “It’s a lot of random ones, all over. I added some stuff to the rib piece.” That one you show me, you lift up your sweater, and I feel my dick twitch. 

Pervert. Dirty pervert. It’s been fifteen years, put your dick away. 

The cluster of wildflowers that started from your ribs to your hip had added roses to different spots they ended up entwining into a beautiful ivy vine, before falling off towards your back. I notice the bottom of a small piece on your sternum, and you pull your sweater back down. 

“That’s beautiful.” I tell her, smiling. “What have you been doing these last fifteen years?” 

“Well, I moved out of Hawkins.” I smile at that, she always wanted to leave that place. “I moved to Maine, I bought myself my own little cabin in the woods. I’m a nurse at the local hospital there.” 

My heart practically bursts with pride, and I laugh. “See? You don’t have to be famous to have your own cabin. That’s wonderful, I know that was always a dream of yours, becoming a nurse.”

“Yeah, it’s fulfilling. Heartbreaking 99% of the time but fulfilling.” Your eyes fix on mine again, and we just share comfortable silence as we stare at one another. 

“Your eyes are sad.” You say suddenly. 

“What?” I snap myself back down to my reality; it was easy to get lost in your eyes. 

“You look like you’ve been through hell and back again. Sorry for being blunt, I’m just sorry for whatever is bothering you.” Your eyes show me that same familiar kindness, and I smile awkwardly at you.  

“I’m okay.” I tell you, only half lying. 

You place your hand over my ringed fingers, gently entwining them. I stare at our hands, and gaze back into your eyes. “What am I doing here?” I whisper to you. I can feel my heart do another back flip, and my brain screams at me to get up and run because I can still feel your love. 

Your fingers gently move over the bumps on my rings, and your eyes dart to mine. You spot the small silver chain around my neck, half tucked in my shirt, and you lift your hand to gently pull out the red guitar pick. You finger the plastic and smile. “Wow. You kept this all these years.” 

“Of course, I did. I never take it off.” Except when I used to shoot dope, but that’s beside the point. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Sweetheart, why am I here?” 

You sigh, giving me a sad smile. “Would it be weird if I said that I really fucking miss you? And for the last fifteen years, I haven’tstopped thinking about you.” 

Heart exploding. 

My breath hitches and my eyes widen slightly. “But…I hurt you…and I left—"

“I know, I know you did, but” you take my hand again. “Eddie, we were best friends. Since before we could even say those words. You were so important to me. You’re still important to me. How could we throw that away?” 

I stare at you, reading your face, gazing at the shape of your mouth, the way your hair falls in waves, the curves of your breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling my hand away from yours. “You wouldn’t think that anymore once you know what I’ve done, who I’ve become.” 

“Then tell me.” You say softly, your eyes dart from my lips, to my eyes. I stare at your lips, remembering how perfectly they fit against mine, how soft they were. How eager you would be when your tongue would slip into my mouth, deepening the kiss, your soft moans vibrating against my mouth as I carefully push myself inside you. 

I meet your eyes; you’re waiting for me to say something. I shake my head, running my hands over my hair. I sigh. “How long you got?” 

You look at your wrist at a fake watch. “About a week.” I laugh and lean back in my seat, sipping my coffee. 

Yeah, I missed you too. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Special shout out to: @trixyvixx @originalstar1 @iggyizalien @themorticians-world

& so many of you who supported my last series.

I wouldn’t continue writing if it weren’t for you guys giving me the motivation to do it. Love you all!

[btsarmymoonmoon]

Penthouse

54 days left till sunshine is back. That called for celebration. Here is a 5k words one shot that I wrote based on my dream. Haven't spelled checked it. Incredible fluff, domesticated Hoseok.

You were excited and really couldn’t fall asleep that night. Because tomorrow early in the morning your still new and fresh husband is going to be released from the military and your life together is finally about to start.

You knew each other for a while, dated for a bit but it wasn’t really anything official or intense. You were definitely very much excited about the prospect of seeing Jung Hoseok, him and only him. But before things progressed anywhere near you two being in an established relationship he had to enlist. It was planned and part of the future for the other members and that wasn’t a negotiable.

How did you end up married then before actually dating? He really wanted to see you, he tried really hard to progress the relationship but it was so difficult and he wouldn’t be able to use all of his holidays the way he wanted. He called you a few times, texted a lot and send you pictures every week. It was going on for months. And when he finally managed to see you in person he just sat you down and went into it straight without thinking too much about it and said ‘I know we haven’t been official, i know we haven't done a lot of the things that people do when they date. But once i get out of here there might not be another better time to do this’. He knew the media wouldn’t let him in peace and someone would of leaked the fact that he got married. ‘You mean a lot to me, and i always dated with the idea of dating to marry. So lets just do it. You can move into my flat and make it homey before i actually leave here. I know its a crazy idea but.. just think about it!’. His idea was indeed crazy. So according to him he you were already dating and he just wanted to ensure that your life will be easier, with him as an idol constantly in the spotlight. This was the only way to keep you as a secret whilst having you around and taking things slowly as you both please. Jung Hoseok was the most interesting and loyal person you met. He was so good to you, he treated you with upmost respect from the day you started hanging on more of a personal level. He was really handsome, really sharp features on his face, pointy noise, gorgeous eyes always locked on you and the most gorgeous smile you have ever seen in your entire life. And he was interested in you. HA! He wanted to marry you in secret during his military service and have you move into your future house. You must have been crazy to say yes right?

‘Yes!’ You said after a few minutes of silence and your not really proper consideration.

BTS’s J-Hope Acquires Luxurious $8.6 Million Penthouse in Cash - the next thing you see are this headlines in the news.

‘He did what?’ You think to yourself. ‘He lost his mind!’ As you read another article about how he purchased this very luxurious place. And you couldn’t help but think, that you will indeed be living in that place in few weeks.

He wore his full dress uniform, you wore a very plain but beautiful beige dress, that definitely looked like a wedding dress. It was the right length but without the awkward whiteness you didn't like. It was very official, there was nobody around but him, you and the official in the cities office. The poor man was made to sign an NDA and so were you. And you hesitated, but you did hire a lawyer before it was drafted. So you knew exactly what were you getting yourself into. All of those details took away any romantic atmosphere. Everything but the way he was looking at you. He really wanted this and you couldn’t help but get butterflies every time he looked at you this way.

There was no kiss, no party. You did however share rings and had a cake in a tiny cafe around the corner from the office.

‘I can’t believe we have done this’ you said still in shock, giggling and sipping your coffee through a straw.

‘I promise i make it worth it’ he said lovingly, slightly brushing his hand over yours. The very first sight of his affection that day.

Two weeks later all of your luggage arrived at the exact same luxurious penthouse that Hoseok bought for 8.6 million USD. ‘This is ridiculous’ you said to yourself looking for furniture online. He left you his card, he didn’t expect you to furnish the place especially because it was ridiculously big and as much as you declined his offers to combine your finances you couldn’t afford buying anything for this kind of place. Knowing he will be going live from home, taking so many selfies for his socials. The place needed to be cool. You really like the main room with the huge windows with a view out for skyscrapers in Seoul. You knew exactly what kind of sofa would look good there so you went straight to the search.

But tomorrow. Tomorrow morning is the day he will finally come home. You still had no idea what to expect. He called you regularly, once a week and texted at least once a day after you got married. He often told you what he ate that day and did mention few times that he misses you. But there was still so much ahead of you. You were so excited you really couldn’t sleep, so you ended laying on the sofa you ordered few months ago and lay and look at the huge windows and enjoy the sunrise. But because you haven’t slept, your eyes were getting heavier and heavier from minute to minutes. You knew you could sleep for hours, because you were sure there will be events planned for Hobis discharge, v live at the company, drinks with the members. You will be lucky to see him today. But you were still so so excited. And you gave up to your eyes and finally fell asleep. Covered only half way with a fluffy blanket, with your phone on the floor. It buzzed few times but you were really gone for good.

Card beeped and the door unlocked. Heavy boots slowly tapping on the wooden floor. Red baseball cap on his head, full uniform, huge backpack that he left by the door. He went into all of the rooms partially admiring the furniture he saw from the pictures you have sent him. But he was definitely looking for you. And then, he finally found you on the fluffy sofa in front of the gorgeous view. Sound asleep.

He couldn’t help but smile. He slowly made his way to the sofa, covered you more with the blanket and sat by you legs. Admired you for a minute, with a wide smile on his face. He couldn’t believe you waited. He leaned forward, sniffing the sweet scent you had about you, and slightly moved your hair to the side to place a warm kiss on your forehead.

You moved. Your legs slightly felt resistance and you opened your eyes. And there he was. Right above you, caught red handed with a huge smile on his face, still holding your hair to the side. You froze.

‘I’m finally home!’ he whispered and your mouth slightly opened. Your eyes got bigger as you realised how close he was.

‘Hoseok I didn’t expect you so early! What happened?!’ You managed to put together a sentence still in shock, as he hasn’t moved an inch. He didn’t respond, but widened his smile and started softly brushing your cheek with the back of his palm. ‘I thought you had an entire schedule for today! You need to let Armys know! The members need to see you too!’ You continued but he chuckled starting at you lovingly.

‘I needed to see my wife first. She always comes first, even before the members and armys’ he answered and grabbed your hand and closed in his two.

‘I’m hardly your wife Hobi. We still have so much to…’ he didn’t let you finish your sentence, as he pulled you to himself and kissed your lips very softly. You accepted the invitation, as much as in shock you were you were daydreaming of kissing him since the day you saw him in the office in his full dress uniform. Nah. Since the day he asked you to marry him, when be wouldn’t stop explaining his great idea. And he was finally home. Musky scent mixed with sandalwood of his perfume lingered around him, as the kiss progressed further and he was now exploring your throat with his tongue. As he kept pulling you closer to him, you ended up getting up slightly and crawling onto his lap, without breaking the kiss. He grabbed your ass and sat you closer as he aggressively attacked your lip and bit it so much it broke and started bleeding. You hissed but didn’t stop kissing him back and exploring his back with your hands.

When you finally broke the kiss, he sat back on the sofa and sighed loudly.

‘I was having dreams about this’ he admitted, softly touching your bleeding lip with the tip of his finger.

‘You did and forgot to inform your wife about it? I could have been more prepared’ you giggled, leaning forward a little bit more relaxed and placing a kiss on his cheek ‘Welcome home husband’ you pouted into his face and chuckled afterwards.

‘My wife sounded really innocent and cutesy over the phone, she was really shy and I didn’t expect her to sit on my lap the second i walk through the door’ he pointed out as he looked at you again and he froze. His eyes were glistening as he stared so deep into your eyes almost like he was staring into your soul. And he was smiling. It was the warmest smile you have seen. And it was now all yours.

‘So about the schedule..’ you muttered under your breathe not really knowing what will happen next. You were a little anxious as now he will be in your space a lot of more, or rather you in his. You knew you would have to be more careful now around media and leaving the place with caution.

‘I’m going to Hybe later. I need to do the vlive like Seokjin hyung did. And I know I didn’t discuss it with you yet but I have invited everyone here in the evening’ he looked a little bit nervous, but you didn't have any plans and the place was in a presentable state, so there was no objections for this to not happen.

‘Of course, that sounds like a great plan! I will stay at my friends tonight then..’ you smiled hearing the plans for today. You reached for your phone that was still on the floor instinctively but he stopped you grabbing your wrist and bringing you back to his face.

‘Why? You live here, we live here. There is absolutely no need for you to leave when the guys arrive. Besides they need to finally meet you’ he added holding both your hands in his. He was just so sweet and considerate and he was providing it to you over and over how serious he is about the two of you.

‘But I thought we, and I have to be kept a secret’ you hesitated.

‘Not from the members jagiya. I trust them with my life’ he chuckled at your words and patter your head lovingly.

‘I will follow your lead’ you smiled and fell on his chest. You weren’t sure were all this confidence came from but you really just felt at home for a second so you didn’t overthink it and just acted on it. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him.

‘I really did miss you. I was really excited for this. And… I am really grateful that you waited. I certainly don’t deserve to be waited on for this long, not even mentioning the marriage…’ he whispered into your ear, whilst slowly glowing through your hair as he kept you in his embrace.

‘You are special’ you answered into his chest loud enough for him to hear. His perfect fresh scent kept lingering around you as you were holding onto him. His heartbeat was crazy, but the longer you layd on his chest the calmer it became.

‘Right sunshine, I need to take a shower and change my undershirt before I head out again’ he slowly pulled you up and you swiftly moved away to make room for him and he got up from the sofa. ‘The place looks better than on face-time and the pictures you have sent me’ he added looking around with a little bit levelled head.

‘I kept space for the pieces I told you I wanted you to pick, but it doesn’t look too empty without them for now’ you eagerly added as you got up from the sofa and you grabbed your phone and slid it into your sweatpants pocket. He picked up his backpack and started unpacking few bits, clearly looking for something through the pouches inside.

‘Lost something?’ You giggled invested into his search.

‘Just shower gel and shampoo and..’ you stopped him and grabbed his wrist.

‘Put it down’ you instructed pointing at the backpack and he did. Then very intrigued looked where were you leading him. And you lead him through the dining room and a hallway to the master bedroom and then left to the bathroom. ‘Everything is ready here in your room and your bathroom’ you pointed at shelf in tiles, fresh towels ready to be used and a cloth for his skincare. He smiled widely and he felt really warm inside. You really did prepare it for him and waited for him. He felt so lucky. But then he realised and dwelled on your words. He also noticed the bed was spotless and clearly unused.

‘Thank you, this… this is perfect but hold on a minute. My room? My bathroom? Where do you think you are staying?’ He got a little bit nervous, because he didn’t want to pressure you and wanted you to be comfortable but at the same time he was really excited to explore all the unexplored with you.

‘I slept in the guest room for the past few months. Its your house Hoseok.. i cant just, put myself everywhere like…’ you didn’t finish because you saw his expression change to slightly less happy and more disappointed ‘Besides, i will still be around. We promised to take things slow and as they feel fit and natural. And up until before 5 minutes ago we never even kissed..’ you continued and became nervous. You weren’t rejecting him but it was only natural to not skip steps and get comfortable around each other. His expression changed again to more pouty.

‘I understand and thats okay. But i cant promise i wont wander into your room and bed to get some cuddle time’ he pouted and started walking towards you.

‘Thats fine’ you chuckled but you stopped him few steps before he reached you ‘besides its nice to get ready in my own bathroom. Which speaking of you need to shower and get ready. You cant be late the first day back because of me. I will already think im no good for you’ you added and slowly pushed him towards the main bathroom.

‘Aiiishhh fine. I will still have a minute when im done. But before that…’ he grabbed you and pulled you into the bathroom and stood in front of a huge mirror that was covering one of the entire walls. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and grabbed you from behind ‘Say kimchiiii’ he giggled as he pointed the camera to the mirror whilst holding you with his other arm. You grabbed his arm and smile wide looking straight at the camera. When he clicked the picture you let go and turned around.

‘What was that?! Dont you think this is a little bit dangerous? What if you post it by accident..’ you pouted at him at the same time trying to see if the picture came out nicely.

‘I wont have an accident like that, besides i still want to have all the first memories with you documented. We are married after all..’ he chuckled, left a quick kiss at your cheek and let you go. Your heart flustered. You loved it. Every minute of this and the way he was and the way his lips tasted. The way he grabbed you with his strong arms, how soft he was around you and how genuinely happy he seemed.

You were nervous. Of course you worked with several idols before, ha you were now married to one but it was still really stressing you out to meet the 6 men who were the entire world to your husband. You wanted them to like you, you wanted them to be impressed with you, you wanted them to be happy for Hoseok. But none of them even had been in a official relationship, not even mentioning marriage. You straightened your shirt and french tucked it into your jeans.

‘Please dont worry, you have nothing to stress about’ he whispered into your ear as he stood behind you in your room seeing you play with the shirt for a while. Somehow he felt it. Somehow he knew you were stressed and he came to comfort you.

You didn’t answer but you reached for his hand and you squeezed it. You quickly let go of it as the door bell rang. You took a deep breath and swiftly followed Hoseok to the door. Three tall men with buzz cuts stood In front of the door.

‘Taehyungie, Jiminaahhh, Jungkooksieee come in please’ Hobi the host. They bowed in front of him and moved towards the hallway were you were standing.

‘Hoseok hyung… there is a woman here’ Jungkook turned his face to Hobi and froze for a second.

‘Yes. There is. Now stop acting like you have never seen one’ Hoseok chuckled and kind of scolded him for making things ever so slightly more awkward.

‘Ah, really nice to meet you’ Taehyung bowed and shook your hand. He never questioned anything and just accepted things as they were.

Jimin followed and also introduced himself and followed Taehyung into the room. Jungkook still half frozen just took his shoes off.

‘But hyung! Who is this’ this man had zero filter on this night.

‘I will explain everything when everyone arrives, i dont want to repeat myself’ he pushed him slightly towards the room others already gathered. Hoseok moved towards you and brushed your hand with his and whispered ‘I promise it will be okay’ and he lead you towards the room, holding onto your shoulder. Before you reached the dinning room the door went again. You looked at Hobi worrying but he nodded and you went into the dinning area whilst he took the door. Luckily it was the other three so no more trips to the door anymore. As you reached the room you heard Jungkook hassling Jimin ‘But why would Hyung do something like this’ and as you walked in they both stopped. You smiled politely and started looking for glasses for the table. Occupied with that task Hoseok walked into the room with Namjoon, Seokjin and Yoongi.

‘Oh! Whos this?’ Seokjin also didnt stop himself from a free comment.

‘Right everyone, lets get it out of the way before we get all into gossips’ Hoseok started and grabbed you closer. ‘We got married, six months ago. I wanted to do it when we are almost all still enlisted because i knew it would be bad if we decided later’ he just spit it all. Jungkooks jaw dropped. Yoongi started laughing quietly but he was the first to congratulate you.

‘Its just unexpected Hoseok, but we are happy for you. We all knew you will be first in these things anyway’ Yoongi smiled at the both of you and pulled his hand out to shake Hobis hand.

‘Ya, thats crazy. Hoseok you could of told us before…’ Seokjin came to hug Hobi and smiled at you politely.

‘We didnt really date for that long, so please dont drill or ask her any silly things. It was the best decision in the perspective of time and PR’ Hobi continued as he saw Jungkook still completely freaked out.

‘Hoba, im really happy for you. Looks like double celebration today!’ Namjoon hugged your husband and sat back down. Jimin and Taehyung holding hands under the table giggled but both also clapped their hands in approval. It was just Jungkook.

‘Hyung… I dont understand. I really thought you would be honest with me when I asked you who you were texting every time I saw you. Its not like we couldn’t keep your secret!’ He was just a little bit hurt and Hoseok hyung had a special place in his heart ‘im happy for you Hyung’ he huffed out and sat back still shaking his head in disbelief.

‘He wanted to tell you but I asked him not too. You see i didn’t even think we were dating when he thought we were. We saw each other quite a lot but it wasn’t ever on any of crazy serious terms, I had no idea I was even able to stick around until today.. please dont be upset with him’ you decided to tell the boys the truth, because at the end of the day it wasn’t Hoseoks fault this was kept in secret. The boys nodded and some of the awkwardness went away because Jimin was rocking on his chair back and forth and eventually hell from it. Everyone started laughing but you panically ran to him and asked if he’s fine.

‘This happens all the time, please dont bother yourself with worry. He has some unexplained beef with chairs’ Namjoon pointed out whilst Seokjin was nearly brought to tears with laugh. The evening went uneventful after that, Hoseok brought some alcohol from the pantry, a stack of food was ordered and delivered and devoured within few hours. Everyone explained how jealous they are of Hobi being finally free and Jin was excited to have his partner in crime back. They reminisced old times, concerts and events they really missed and as the night went by you were more involved in the conversations that you ever expected. Everyone was really sweet and kind and as Hobi promised, there was nothing to worry about. You saw he was getting progressively more red on his face as he drunk and because of that progressively more quiet but it gave you the chance to get to know the other members a little more. You weren’t star struck anymore, because they were just so normal and down to earth.

You were taking your make up off in your bathroom in the opposite side of the apartment. It was a long day, very exciting day but also very tiring because of all the emotions that you had to go through. You felt a little bit dizzy, every time you were reminded that Hoseok is indeed currently cleaning up from the table. All the little noises coming from the room made you chuckle as be was drunk and swearing to himself and to the dishes he was trying to put away. You continued with your routine to the sounds of the dishes when then all of a sudden they stopped. Complete silence surrounded you. And then you saw his face poke at your bathrooms door.

‘Hey’ he said smiling widely and staring you in the eyes through the mirror that you were using.

‘Hey’ you answer and smiled back at him. He took another step into the bathroom.

‘I cant believe you’re here and I’m home and i dont ever have to go back there…’ he started, heading towards you. You put your cream down and turned around to face him. ‘You know I really care.. you know I was really looking to getting all the steps done with you..’ he was drunk and his words were slightly slurring but he was incredibly sweet. From that sweet face however it soon changed into a cheeky expression and you thought to yourself maybe… but then you remembered he was drunk and thats not how you wanted the both of you to remember.

‘Hoseok you're tipsy’ you muttered lovingly towards him, severely downplaying the state he was in.

‘Just a little bit. At least I won’t be as shy..’ so he is shy. So you do make him nervous. Your eyes widened for a second. You were definitely thinking of checking out what is under that uniform. Realistically you did half know. There is no escape from the online world and you came across some of the half shirtless or shirtless pictures of him. But they were from years before and you expect for him to look different. Hes older, hes been through a active military service. And took one step closer to you and you gulped out loud. He noticed and immediately froze.

‘Its okay, im sorry I..’ he grabbed the back of his head and brushed through his really short hair.

‘Its okay, how about we stay in your room today?’ You asked and leaned over and grab his hand. It was a sweet move, it wasn’t suggestive at all and all you planned to do is maybe make out for a bit and go to sleep cuddled to him.

‘I thought you didn’t want to.. you know?’ He got all flustered which was incredibly sweet especially as he was so drunk.

‘Lets take it easy’ you turned the lights off in the bathroom and lead him out of your bathroom and bedroom across the hallway and dinning room to the master bedroom ‘Cuddles only! But first, get ready for bed’ you pointed at his bathroom and he nodded and followed your order. You made yourself comfortable in bed, untucked the fresh sheets and slipped inside. It felt so nice to be finally in bed. You heard him drop few things but eventually he turned the light off and emerged from the room. He run to the other side of the bed skipping from excitement. He untucked his side of the sheets and slipped inside. Instantly turned around to you, moved closer to you so now both of your faces layed on the same pillow. And every time he was so close to you, you felt this electric tease when your eyes locked. Your stomach would flip. You were absolutely obsessed with him. And it was only day one of your new life. He moved himself even closer to you, and you didn’t decline. He wrapped his arms around you, slowly dragged your body closer to his.

‘Im finally home’ he whispered and placed a kiss on the tip of your nose. You twitched slightly under his touch and smiled. He softly moved to your lips and started kissing you. Your brain went numb, your stomach flipped again and the butterflies started. His lips were so much softer now, his tongue so tempting trying to break into your mouth. But you let him. You got closer to him, he wrapped himself even more around you and you get kissing and the passion started growing in between the two of you, until one of you broke the kiss and cooled the atmosphere off. He turned you around and his body stuck to you. And because he was still slightly drunk and tired after an entire day of chaos, he stuck his nose behind your ear and whispered 'Goodnight Jagiya' and he closed his eyes. Both of you fell asleep, tangled together for the very first time.

***

Its been a month, exactly a month since he came home. 17th of November. The air has gotten really cool, there was occasional snow but never really lasted for good. It was the evening and you were walking down the road, towards a near by park with your not so new anymore - husband. You weren’t holding hands, because it was already risky to be outside together like that but it was really, really late and it seemed like the perfect weather for a walk. You could never shut up. Both of you. You absolutely adored each other and everyday whether it was on the phone or in person, at home would debrief about your day and what have you been up to and sometimes even shared pictures of what interested you or when either of you something interesting to discuss with one another. Your relationship remained a secret and you were both really happy about it. There was only one rule. Every time when Hobi came home, he was obligated to keep his ring on. Because he couldn’t really wear it outside even for the walk, it was too risky. But at home, at both of your sanctuary it was a very important part of his routine of coming home.

‘I can’t believe it has already been a month since I got discharged’ Hobi said to you, slowly walking by your side.

‘I know! It has been so crazy, but I haven’t regretted anything. Every since we met, ever since we got married. Even the wait, it was all worth it’ you smiled at him and you focused your eyes on him. It was a really good time to confess but you were really nervous, so you just kept putting it off.

‘Thank you for waiting for me. And for the faith you put into our very early on relationship that I feel has bloomed into something really beautiful’ he couldn’t stop smiling and giggling. He was so relieved and happy and finally felt like home.

You decided you won’t confess this time around and the two of you wondered around the park for a little longer and finally made your way back home.

You still haven’t done the deed, but every time the both of you went to sleep next to each other, you both wondered to make a move. Today however, coming home from that walk some kind of heavy, humid steamy atmosphere built up in the lift. You had your back to one side of the wall and he stood and was staring at your through the lifts mirror. When it finally made it to your floor and the door made a very specific sound, both of you rushed out of it towards your apartments door. Both just occasionally checking on each other. And when the door finally slammed behind you and both of you were safe at home, it all turned into chaos. His lips on yours, your lips on his neck, his hands undoing your bra under layers of clothes, your hand tangled into his slightly longer now hair. Both of you grasping air in between the passionate kissing and then it just slipped. Just like that.

‘God, I love you so much’ you moaned into his face. Hoseok froze. He didn’t move, he stopped his hands were they were at the time, he opened his eyes and locked them with yours. Both of you still heavily breathing, just staring at each other.

‘Come here, let me show you how much I love you’ he smirked back at you and picked you up bridal style, continued to aggressively kiss your lips whilst he made his way to your homes master bedroom, he shut the door behind the both of you and whispered to you ‘We won’t be leaving here for a while’.

[writebythecside]

Some things that took place in a work meeting today:

My coworker helped herself to produce from the communal garden at the location and started handing everyone produce during a tense interaction where someone tried to postpone the event for half a year, after invites have already been sent to the attendee list (which includes celebs).

My boss didn't want to have to verbally ask me to hold his (newly acquired) cucumber while he was moving something, so he just kind of wordlessly waved a massive, girthy cucumber at me until I took it from him.

I had to request that construction (not an urgent project just one they decided to consider starting) at the location is held off until after our event to avoid guests falling into a pit, a la Leslie in Parks and Rec. Someone actually wrote that request down like it wasn't already considered.

My boss got so fed up at one point he walked away to stare at a pile of dirt.

The woman (a willowy, serene yoga-loving rich type who has lived in this state her entire life) who is kind of in charge of the event saw a seagull overhead and was extremely alarmed and convo stopped until someone explained we were in a town just off the coast and seagulls are very normal here. She then asked what kind of seagull it was and no one could answer. She was very disappointed by our lack of response.

Someone asked the fundraising team to pay for $5K of unneeded equipment, and then asked if we could postpone the event until it came in (we are not). They then spent the rest of the meeting on their phone looking at pictures of the equipment, getting prices for the equipment, and interrupting the meeting to discuss the equipment.

I asked about thoughts for catering (as in are we doing lunch, are we doing appetizers, etc) and was told "maybe". This does not help me plan.

I have to go back in a week to make sure they don't start digging a pit anyway. I don't know what anyone thinks I'll be able to do about it if they have.

[thickenmyblood]

I don't know how to thank you. This feels like the end of an era. I can't believe it's been 4yrs since you started posting hiuh and I was instantly hooked. It literally got me through the pandemic. I learned so much from the story and felt I had Neo as a therapist(the best in the world). You must be flooded with asks now but I am really curious how the story formed in your head. It's hard to believe how consistent the story is as you posted chapter by chapter. Did you outline the whole story when you started? did you stick to all the original ideas? if you changed your mind what were they? It really is a master piece - much much better than many published books I read and I hope you will publish someday, if that's what you want.

I'd also offer you my first born to have an epilogue. hopefully lamen with their child(ren) playing on the beach and Nicaise being the doting big brother. they all grew so much and deserve all the happiness. oh and Kastor and Jo and Galen for big family gathering. I'm so proud of all of them.

thank you thank you thank you for all your patience and genius and mostly, generosity.

hello!!!! i'm so happy that my story resonated with you and got you through some tough times. it did the same for me!

It's hard to believe how consistent the story is as you posted chapter by chapter.

thank you!! it will never be as good as it was in my head or as good as I know I could have made it if I had spent more time on it, but for me the most important thing is that it is completed and at least 70% of what I wanted it to be. a win is a win!!!

Did you outline the whole story when you started? did you stick to all the original ideas? if you changed your mind what were they?

i got the idea for a modern au break up fic in 2020 while I was writing and posting wtsioa. i started the story as a 20k one shot and then realized 5k into it or less that it was not going to fit into that word count. the reason was very simple: i did not want a break up fic centered around "miscommunication" in a naive, fluffy way. i did not want to write a fic where the main issue was that one loved the other too much or that they thought the other was cheating when it wasn't true, etc. i wanted to write a break up that felt honest to me, and this meant giving them both issues that felt real, that i saw in myself and in the people around me irl. which meant that it would take them both considerably more than 5k to get over them (if they ever did).

i outlined the fic very roughly. my first drafts . . . they are not it, girl. like, anyone that has read wtsioa knows that. I'm a much better editor than I am a writer, so for hiuh i outlined the main beats (nicaise calls damen after months, damen goes to therapy, nicaise is out of control and some incidents happen, laurent is dating maxime, they get back together). then, i wrote the entire thing in . . . a year? maybe less? then, i made a mistake and got cocky: i edited the first three chapters and started posting on ao3. that's why the fic took so long to post. i had to edit each chapter a lot after the first three were released.

i edited out too many things to count. things you wouldn't believe if I told you now because they make no sense when looking at the finished version. idalia was a pretty big character, and so was jokaste. in the og outline, I debated between claude/heavy drugs for nicaise. i almost named dog NIKANDROS!!!! damen actually punched aktis at the party when he talks shit about laurent . . . which led to him also punching nik. laurent slapping nicaise once. aimeric and damen baking together. then, there were things I wanted to write but couldn't because they didn't feel very real to me, despite being the best self indulgent daydream scenarios ever: damen hunting claude down (yeah, ruth wanted this to happen), dog getting sick, aimeric's EVERYTHING lol, nik and nicaise talking, etc.

thank you for sending this ask and reading the story through all the ups and downs and... lack of updates on my end!!! it has been the best experience ever, knowing that someone out there is reading and cares about what I made. thank you!!!!!!!!

[buckybarnesss]

Your tags in the post of Derek missing Laura. That hurst so much. I really wonder if Peter feels sorry or regret killing Laura. Did he ever apologize to Derek? We know nothing about hold older was she, but probably in his mid twenties. She was alone with his brother, with a alpha spark that was too soon to have. Did she even see that was Peter who attacked her?

it's no secret laura hale is my roman empire of teen wolf. i wrote a 5K essay on my thoughts about laura and my theory on the circumstances surrounding her death.

it makes sense that derek doesn't talk about laura. we already know he doesn't talk about these things.

in fact i think the only time he does talk about laura in a way that's not necessary to relaying information is when he goes to see peter in heart monitor and even then it's choked off by grief.

one of the testaments to how much derek is lost and grieving without laura though is that he declares brotherhood to scott hours after he's buried laura. he latches onto scott despite everything because not only does he see himself in scott but he sees someone he can save when he was unable to prevent laura's death.

there is also an element of desperation to derek turning erica, boyd and isaac. not only does derek need a pack for power in the face of hunters and the kanima but he's seeking the familiarity of pack which for derek is synonymous with family.

he would never admit to how alone he feels. he is a brother without anyone to be a brother to. a middle child cast adrift without his sisters to anchor him. derek in seasons 1 and 2 believes he's outlived his baby sister and now exists in a world without his older one.

this is why it makes me salty that derek and cora never talked about laura. they never let these two reconnect as brother and sister.

like, cora's entire predicament and why she's so fucking angry is entirely glossed over. maybe if she had stayed longer it would've been explored but the fact they couldn't spare one fucking moment is just egregious.

she thought she was the only survivor of the fire that killed her family only to hear there was a hale alpha in beacon hills. did she think her mother survived? or if not talia than her older sister who was clearly meant to be talia's successor?

so not only did she get kidnapped by the alphas but she's struggling with the relief that derek's alive while being angry he's the alpha when it wasn't supposed to be him which probably makes her feel super guilty.

than there's the anger that peter killed laura, that derek's just letting him loiter around but there's also the relief that uncle peter's alive too.

it's why frayed is so interesting. not only is it the episode that pivots derek and scott's relationship but it gives us the cora and peter adventure.

peter: It's just me! your uncle... uncle peter... cora: uncle peter who killed sister laura. peter: mmm, not my finest hour, no. but, i'm hardly the only dysfunctional family member! did derek mention that he killed me, too? slashed my throat, ear-to-ear. cora: so, that means i should trust you? peter : actually, I'm wondering if i can trust you. cora: you've known me for seventeen years! peter: i knew you for eleven, leaving the last six unaccounted for. and i'm not particularly fond of things unaccounted.

this ties in to the fact that i do believe that peter does feel guilt over killing laura but like everything with peter it's complicated.

i think if he had been in his right mind he wouldn't have done it but due to his circumstances killing her was the only viable path that he saw at that time. plus i believe nurse jennifer played a role in pushing peter.

peter regrets the way it played out and probably wishes it went differently.

when peter shares his memories with scott in co-captain we hear laura say his name as she approached him. she knew it was him and it's probably why she was slow to defend herself.

i think it haunts him but he would never say that out loud.

as for apologizing to derek for it? well. i think it was part of the reason he wanted to turn stiles and one of the myriad of reasons peter continues to help derek.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Songbird

Dream of the Endless x Musician!Reader

Summary: Ever since the Apollo incident, you haven't gotten a good night's sleep. It was not because of the anxiousness that came after that horrible encounter, it was by design. After all, you would not have to fall on your knees and beg to the King of Dreams again if you do not enter his domain. Boy, did that backfire.

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: BRUH I WROTE 5k SMUT AGAIN BYE, no feminism in sight, themes of polytheism, fem!reader, egyptian goddess insert, possessive!dream, smut (dom!dream to soft!dream, hair pulling, begging, thigh riding ig, vaginal penetration, cock warming), typos, etc.

A/N: yeah so 🫶 today we get on our knees So this is a continuation to Left In Hell (p1) and Sounds Like Heaven (p2). You do not need to read them to understand, but I highly suggest you read part 2 at least to get the reference of the summary and to understand why dream's so mad HAHAHA I feel like i've made yn into this mystical, immortal-esque being but i dont actually know whats going on with her so just roll with it. who knows maybe i'll keep writing for musician!reader Also @aralezinspace gave me some ideas for this fic. TY LOVEY. And I'm tagging @rosaren2498 cause i said i would if i continued

"You look horrible," Meret judges.

I dart my tired eyes at her silky black hair and perfectly smooth skin. She crosses her toned arms and not a wrinkle interrupts her face as she knits her brows at me.

"I will always look horrible in comparison to you, my goddess," I retort as I press my hands together and mutter a solemn greeting to her.

She raises her nose, "no. Usually, the mere entrance in my shrine makes you glow," she nears me and places a hand on my cheek, "but you have damaged yourself, as you have clearly been avoiding the master of dreams."

The heat of her gaze makes me gulp.

Meret hums, "why is that, my love?"

"There is a reason why I have been more devoted to you these days," I force a smile on my tired features.

Meret pulls her hand away and raises a brow, "and here I thought you've finally grown tired of that bacchanal Apollo."

The goddess of rejoicing strides to her throne. I find some clarity at the sight of her swaying hips.

I clear my throat, "you are thinking of his brother, my lady."

Meret sits on her throne and waves a hand. She crosses her legs and her pale blue chiffon skirt slips to the side, revealing her shapely legs, "they are all the same to me." She drops her hands to her armrest and tilts her head, "did you not bring an instrument with you?"

I tent my hands in front of me and push away the face that springs up in my head, "I thought you would enjoy if I recounted the Songs of the Nile for you today instead."

"Oh," she smiles, "well, it has been a while since I have heard its tune."

I bow before her then lift up my voice with the song I had learned ages ago. I sing to her until her dwelling blooms with flowers by her own delight to the worship. My voice echoes in her chamber and time passes gently as I finish my tale.

Once I am done, Meret stands from her throne and applauds me, her entire being left with a glow, as, I find, is my own.

I am in a way revitalized, my eyelids don't feel as heavy, yet there is a lingering fog in my mind.

She praises me in ancient Egyptian, and I curtsy at the words, though I do not understand.

Meret walks over to me and places a joyous kiss on my lips. Once she pulls away, my head spins at her sentiment.

She grabs my face, "another song, my child."

I nod enthusiastically, "as you command, oh goddess."

By the time I finish my 10th song, I meekly decline her pleas to continue with another selection. Her encompassing essence in the snug realm had forced all my tiredness away after all the worship. But it was not because I had gotten reinvigorated now that I wanted to leave. It was because I knew the trickle of time may seem slow here, but that did not mean the same thing to the waking world.

"Will you have your goddess get on her knees for you to sing once more?" Meret offers.

I then me drop to my knees and I shake my hands in defeat, "I would not, oh Meret, I-"

"I understand," she sighs, waving her hands, "you fear the passing of time in your realm," she adds, "time is annoying, is it not?"

I merely nod.

She, who had gone back to the throne, walks back to me and pulls me to my feet, "it is a pity that you are so loyal that man."

I suck in a breath, "Apollo is-"

"But I do not mean the sun child," she presses a finger to my lips, "the Endless you are fleeing from has been whispering for me to release you after I declined his request to enter my domain."

"Dream..." I shiver, "has been calling for me," my shoulders tense.

Meret narrows her eyes, "if my daughter is being harassed by the King of Dreams, then I shall have you stay here with me until he tires."

I grab her hands. She feels me shudder as I say, "no! No!" I even my breathing, "that would not be necessary."

"But it is," she takes rubs her thumbs on my skin, "I am your patron, and I-"

"He is also my patron!" I quip nervously, "and I-" I blink rapidly and force out a smile, "-should not chose to anger him any more than I have already."

Meret's face begins to darken.

"The King of Dreams is why Apollo is stuck still in a void," I nervously chuckle, "I would not have another one of my precious divinities answer to the same fate," I choke on my saliva momentarily, "nor do I want to wake up in a darkness I cannot escape."

Before Meret could speak, I urge her with a shaky voice, "please let me go back home. Please. I beg of you."

She weighs the sincerity of my voice.

"My goddess, please," I drag out desperately.

She huffs, "as you wish."

With a wave of her hand, a portal appears to my side. I give her one last curtsy and step into the vortex.

A shiver runs down my spine when I make it to the cold hallway in front of the door to my apartment. The temperature was not a good sign.

I enter my home and immediately look for my phone and check my phone for the date.

I release a shudder at the sight of the digital calendar, "it's fine." I heave, "it's only been a month." I drop my phone to the coffee table and stretch my back, "I thought it would have been at least two, considering the one aria was so-"

"You have been avoiding me."

I turn behind me and gasp at darkness that suddenly cloaks my room. At the heart of it was Dream's pale and angered face, towering over me as though I was an ant, which would not be so far from how someone like him would see me anyway.

I tear my gaze away from him as he calls my name out in a warning.

I clear my throat, willing the fear out of my system, and point to nowhere in particular, "I had... errands."

I make the mistake of turning back to him and my very soul nearly leaves me.

When I tear away from him again, he stops me. His large hand traps my jaw and turns me back to him. He does not apply force, he does not need to. I do as he wishes as behold the searing heat of his glorious face.

My chew my lower lip as he steps forward and peers down at me with his cold blue eyes, "you will look at me when you are speaking to me and I am speaking to you," he lifts my head up higher that my lips nearly touch his as he leans forward, "am I understood?"

I nod.

"Good," he breathes out, sending a shiver down my spine.

Dream examines my expression and blinks before he speaks, "these errands of yours, they have forced you to lose sleep?"

"I-" I can't tell him the truth, "I am busy."

He tilts his head, "that does not answer my question."

I find great difficulty in keeping his gaze.

He calls out my name again, and I turn to him and freeze.

"These errands you have to your gods and goddesses," he words carefully, "have they forced you to lose sleep?"

My lack of better judgement gets the better of me, "y-yes."

He hums so gutturally I feel it echo in my thorax. Dream finally releases me then allows a fraction of space between us, "then I will exact a punishment to Meret, who-"

"NO!" I grab his coat and hang my head low in shame, "I-" I stutter and feel goosebumps rise on my skin when his hands find my arms.

I lift my head up to him and heave at the expectant and hard gaze he held.

"I-I... was lying," I mutter so lowly that the sound barely leaves my lips. I knew he heard it though, seeing how his lips pursed.

"The truth is, my lord," I gulp, "I have been avoiding you."

"Yes," he retorts, "as I said moments ago."

Dream prompts me to straighten myself up, and once I do, his hands travel to my sides and pulls me close to him.

As I am sure the sound of my pulse echos in his ears, he leans down and nearly chokes me with the look of his glassy blue eyes, "I wonder why you wasted great efforts in losing sleep, as though there is a realm I could not reach you-" his hands travel up my ribs, "-could not hear my songbird's sweet voice."

A sharp shudder escapes me when he bends down and sucks in a deep breath against my cheek. My hands instinctively dart to his own, and the moment I do so, he grabs my wrists and pulls away. He is disgusted, "you smell like your goddess."

I open my mouth but find no reply.

Dream's eyes dart down, "she even made it a point to stain your lips with her rouge," his eyes slowly dart back up, "or perhaps this was your scheme," he raises his brows.

I dawns upon me that there was most definitely lipstick stains on my lips.

I open my mouth, but speak not a single word when his fingers brush on my lips, "there is something to be done about this," he mutters, "don't you agree?"

I squeak an undiscernible response.

"I have just worn out your ears with my chastising, did I not?" Dream questions, "and your voice tired after repeating your pleas of mercy."

His fingers rake my back, just below my shoulder blades, "and yet," his other hand cups my jaw, "you insult me worse than you did before, in a way that tells me you do not place value to my words."

"My king, I- I-"

He raises his brows.

"I-"

I cannot continue.

He visibly does not enjoy this.

I whine, feeling tears cloud my eyes, "I-"

"Save your voice," he commands, swiftly drawing away from me, "you will need it when I wear out your entire body with my chastising."

I am sent reeling but his severe words, left as still as a statue.

I watch him as he walks over to my sofa and sits upon it, as though it was his throne. Dream turns to me and my frozen state, "have you any complaints, songbird?"

I choke on my spit and clear my throat.

He awaits my response and feel my palms sweat.

"Do you not think it is fair of me to seek retribution of your spite?"

I shake my head.

"Very good," he speaks plainly.

I fidget with my hands while Dream relaxes against the cushions.

"If your goddess can make her most devoted musician sing, then I expect nothing less for myself," the King of Dreams states with finality.

I release a breath and point a finger, "would you like me to bring out an instrument, my lord?"

He hums, "you are willing to play so suddenly?"

His tone was laced with an accusing knowledge, knowledge of the fact I did not bring any instruments to Meret's shrine, lest I trigger more jealousy out of him.

If I had played his Harp of Dreamlight, then he would hear me and demand audience, as it was his right. But if I had played any other instrument, say the Flute of the Desperation, or my Marimba of the Tides, then he would have still heard and made reason to scorn me over the fact I am not using the precious gift he mended with his bare hands.

I do not make the mistake of noting any of this.

"I am always willing to please my patrons," I curtsy.

He merely blinks, "then play Death's piano," the said piano materializes in front of me, "and sing me her lullaby?"

I turn to the seat in front of the instrument then back to Dream, "you want me to sing Death's Lullaby?"

"I have yet to hear your rendition of it."

I shudder under his gaze then turn to the piano, "as you command, Dream Lord."

I open the fallboard once I sit before the piano. I straighten my back as I close my eyes. I begin to play the chords and the melody of the song, giving myself a moment to recount all the lyrics as I do.

I feel agitation build inside me when I am unable to recount all the words in my head.

"Dream," I mutter, opening my eyes to look at the black and white keys under my fingers.

The hair on my nape rises when he speaks my name out in response.

"I don't think I remember all the words."

"I will not hold it against you if you hum the part you cannot recall."

With the reassurance, I start by humming the lullaby's tune before attempting to sing it. Once I do, I sway my head in beat and find myself finally relaxing even with the Endless' presence.

This does not last as I, not only cease my singing, but also my playing when I feel hands come upon my shoulders. With a shaky grunt, I regain composure and continue my performance, tensing against him before easing myself back to calmness.

"Very good," Dream praises, brushing my hair away before placing a kiss on the side of my neck.

I breathily rasp out the lyrics and forget the rest when he begins to suck and lick my skin.

He does not seem to mind that I only manage to play the tune on the piano while I shakily breathe when I feel him wrap his arms around me.

As far as lullabies go, this one was as short and briefly meets its end. I do not mention it to him however and decide to simply repeat the lullaby over and over again until he asks me to stop.

I press on a few wrong notes when Dream's hands begin to massage my breasts. I am unable to hold back my moan when he does.

He ceases his kisses then hotly whispers, "now play me the Ballad of Nightmares."

Like a true puppet, I quickly transpose and restraighten my back as my fingers climb up and down the keys.

He hums and pulls away from me fully, leaving my head spinning at the loss of his tender touches. I crane my neck up at him and feel my stomach tighten at the sight of his pleased expression.

Before I could reach the section where I would sing, Dream's deep voice causes me to freeze, "I would prefer if you only sang to me this time."

I immediately nod and stand from my seat.

The next moment, the piano is gone and Dream pulls me against him.

I look up at him, open mouthed, and blink rapidly at the sight of his moistened lips. I gulp when he leans closer.

"Well," Dream starts, hands taking my hips, "sing for me."

He begins to push me back, and so I walk backwards as he directs. I gasp when I am pushed on the sofa. I bounce slightly when Dream sits to my side.

I steal a quick look before turning away and closing my eyes. I begin to sing the first verse but choke on my words feel his fingers on my abdomen, tugging my top off.

He raises his brows at me when I turn to him, "you do not require clothes to sing, do you?"

My voice goes silent and my breathing quickens.

Dream's expectant look makes me stutter, "I- no-"

"Then do not stop on my account," he dismisses as he frees me off my top.

I continue the song, goosebumps and all, as Dream brushes his fingers on my collarbones and then works to rid of my bra. I try not to think about how warm and large his hands are when he frees my breasts and massages them. I especially try not to think of how my core throbs when he bends down in front of me and takes my pert nipple into his eager mouth.

My hand darts to his messy hair and my thighs press tightly against each other. I reach the chorus when he wordlessly instructs me to stand before him.

I am severely aware of how his eyes are glued on my chest as make my way between his legs. His hands grab my sensitive lumps before travelling down to pull my bottoms off.

I am proud of myself that I do not even hitch when the cool air hits my bare thighs. I do, however, not fault myself for needing a moment to gulp when he squeezes my thighs and brings a finger up to my soaking heat.

I stop all together when he stands before me and grabs my hands. I feel blood rise up my neck as he towers over me.

The king tilts his head, "did I tell you to stop?"

I shake my head quickly. I continue my song.

He guides my hands onto his shoulders, "you can sing and strip me, can you not?"

I nod eagerly as I continue with the second verse.

He places a quick kiss on the pulse point on my wrist, "very good."

I pull off his trench coat hastily and drop it to the floor. I then take my time brushing my fingers up his toned stomach as I rid him of his shirt. I am glad he does not deny me this pleasure.

When my hands grab onto his waistband, he moves away and grabs the area himself, "eyes on mine, pretty girl," he mutters, making me turn back to his crystal blue eyes.

"I will do this myself," he says undoing the button on his pants, "I do not need you more distracted than you already are."

It was a chore to keep my eyes on him when I could still see him in my peripherals.

When I begin to mess up the chorus, Dream clicks his tongue. My heart is too loud for me to even hear myself properly at this point, if I'm being honest. Once he is as bare as I am, he sits down on the couch and grabs me by the hips, forcing me in front of him.

This time, he pushes my legs apart with his knees and sneaks in between my soft thighs, "you sung so beautifully the words moments ago. I am disappointed you cannot remember them now."

I screw my eyes shut as I try to rejog my memory. It is futile when Dream grabs the back of my thighs and urges me toward him. My hands grab his shoulders as I climb on him.

I release a moan when my wetness lands against his toned thigh. He allows me the courtesy of continuing my lewd desires as I stammer over whatever the fuck I was singing in the first place.

The next moment, he reels me close to him and I hiss when I feel his hardened length rub against me.

His hands grip my sides tightly as he rocks against me, "I did not tell you to stop."

"D-Dream-"

"I did not ask you to beg," his voice falls deeper.

Heaving deeply, I test my voice before continuing with the rest of the song, but I rip my eyes open when and fall silent when Dream stills and blurts, "from the beginning."

I whine, chest inflating and deflating with reluctance.

"You are in no position to decline me," he leans in, pushing his pulsing hard-on against me, making me bite my lips to conceal my whine.

"I will burn traces of your devotion to others," he mutters as he brushes his nose on my neck. Dream feels bitterness rise up his throat as he speaks, "will you dare deny your king of this?"

"I-"

He pulls my head back by the roots of my hair, causing me to whimper and grip him tightly, "I will not have you agree, only to shirk me and pray tribute to your false gods."

"My lord, I-"

"You are my music maker," he mutters, "you owe your allegiance to whom gifted you your talents," he growls, biting the throbbing pulse on my neck, "I am your master."

His one hand moves to my core, "your maker," this thumb massages my sensitive nub, "who will make you come undone all over me."

"Morpheus, my lord, please!" I whine out.

He chuckles darkly, "you do not even know what you beg for."

"Exact your punishment on me, I swear I will not answer to anyone else's calls but yours."

He finally releases his grip on my hair and places both his hands on my waist, rubbing the surface up and down, "then sing for me," he grips my hips and elicits a whine from me once he sheathes himself in my slickened folds, "while I relieve my frustrations in your heat."

I catch my breath at the feel of the stretch, "Dream, please."

He purrs, hips barely rolling beneath me, "what are you begging for this time?"

"I-" I lean close to his face, "I don't think I can sing everything."

I bite my lips when he stills and looks at me, "then shall I stop?"

I shake my head furiously, causing him to chuckle, causing me to squeak at the feel of him.

"You must not fall mute while you sing," he brushes my hair behind my ear, "or else it would not be singing, would it?"

I whine in a mix of worry and need, "but what if I forget the words," I mutter, grabbing his wrists that were by my sides as I rut against him.

He growls in protest, hands flying off me before he seals me tightly against him, hindering any further movements, "you are too audacious for your own good, girl."

I pant against him heavily.

Dream eyes me darkly, "fine. In the nature of your punishment, for every time you fall silent, you will repeat the ballad from the top and I will not allow you relief until you finish every word."

I whine, "Morpheus-"

"Or," he cuts me of, "you can speak my name with every ounce of adoration in the moments you forget the lyrics."

I nod eagerly to his words.

"Do not be so quick to agree," he mutters, leaning back on the cushion as his hands find my hips again, "I can tell if you speak my name in vain."

"Morpheus," I drawl instinctively as he begins to move underneath me.

"Very good," he croons, leading my hips with his hands, "but that is not the opening words to the song, little one."

And so I draw in a deep breath and rack my brain for the start of the words, lest my Dream maker stop his ministrations.

I begin my singing and Dream rewards me by rocking more eagerly and allowing me to I rock in sync against him. For the most part, I manage my musings clear enough to make out the words and the tune. If it was your first time to hear the song though, I'm sure it would not have made sense to you.

There is a slight hitch in my voice when Dream begins to latch his lips on my collar bones and graze the area. My hands find his nape and my fingers dig into the roots of his hair.

I feel glorious on him, especially with how successful I am with my singing.

I persevere all the way to the chorus, but then that was when Morpheus shifts and flips us over. He pushes my back on the cushioned seat and my head props on the arm chest.

At this point, I struggle with my lyrics and he seems to enjoy it. I end up a sputtering mess and don't have the wits to say anything but his name.

He smiles as I grab his face and whine. He rolls his hips deliciously into my and my legs anchor him in the perfect position.

"Dream, oh, Dream, you feel so good."

His thrusts bring unholy sounds to my mouth.

"I don't remember that part of the song, pretty girl."

Fuck the song, I could care less about a stupid ass-

"Will you continue your tune, or shall I withdraw and use my hands instead of your throbbing-"

"No, please!" I whine and shake my head as I latch my fingers around his neck. "Morpheus, please, please, give me a chance."

"Well, when you say my name so sweetly," he sighs, quickening his actions, "I would hate to see my favorite songbird suffer," he grips my legs tightly, "not when she's submit to me willingly."

I moan out his name while I finally remember the next words to the song. I hit all the wrong notes and even modulate to a different key when he maneuvers me up. My body is trapped in the corner of the couch and he begins to brutally ram into me.

My head falls back and my voice strains as my tongue helplessly hangs out. I gasp for air as he grows relentless.

Oh Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus. Morpheus.

That's all that could come out of my lips at this point.

He hums and steals one gasp of his name from my lips. It does not end my holy mantra though.

Dream utters, "I quite like this song."

I do nothing but squirm, especially when one of his hands begin to fiddle with my sopping heat.

The sounds of me are absolutely obscene.

It is music to his ears.

"Do you think your beloved Meret or Apollo would enjoy this song as much as I?" he quips harshly, though his voice is not strained at all.

For once he does not enjoy the fact my only response is his name.

He snaps his hips particularly harshly, "I am asking you a question, my dear."

I dumbly whine as I gain the wits to look at him. My jaw hangs low at the sight of his dark gaze while he absolutely annihilates me.

"If that poses too hard to answer, then I'll ask something simpler," he leans his forehead against me, "who is making you feel this good?"

My legs tighten around him, "you."

"And what is my name, dearest?"

"Morpheus," I whine, "my- my Dream, my king of dreams and nightmares, my-" I squeal, "my king, my love, my -"

He hums and rewards me with a kiss on my jaw though my response is all very messy, "very good." He licks my throat as he thrusts, "and again-"

"Morpheus-"

"Again-

"Morpheus-"

Dream continues like this, making sport of burning his name on my throat, up until my words are muffled and my breathing escapes me.

All at once, I am wild with pleasure, burning from the core of my very being, as I coil tightly around him, both with my limbs and from within. I can barely make out any coherent sounds as I am blinded by my undoing. I come around him with a noise I'm sure my neighbors are not enjoying.

"Very good, my girl," he praises, "very good for me, indeed," he kisses my neck, "will you allow me a few moments to chase after release?"

I nod furiously and grab his face, "fuck, Morpheus, please, come inside me. Please, please, please."

He only groans in response as he chases his own high.

I cry out when I feel him spasm inside of me. He draws out a prolonged sigh as he thrashes his hips. I'm merely a moaning, boneless, mess as he draws every last grain of delight out of him and into me.

Even though I am helplessly shaking beneath him as his movements heavily persist, I am utterly pleased by the feel of him coming undone in me.

Once he finally slacks, I manage to catch my voice and my breath as my toes curl and my belly rolls.

I attack his neck, eager to mark him the way he surely marked me.

Dream moans and snakes his arms around my torso, pressing me closer against him, if that were possible, "pretty girl, this is your punishment, remember?"

"Wanna make you feel good," I mutter against his skin.

He lifts his head as he groans, raising a brow at me, "I can practically hear the aching of your core. You cannot possibly take me now."

I attempt to kiss him but end up pouting when he dodges me, "I thought you were punishing me, my king."

"You make me out to be so cruel," he croons, brushing his nose against mine, "I did not even hold true to my threats," he ghosts his lips on mine.

He rolls his lips against me and I am unable to mask my sharp whine.

"You've proved it to yourself, girl," he mutters, "you would break against me."

My stomach flutters at the idea, "then break me."

He draws my name out in a warning and feels the shiver that runs down my spine because of it. Dream lifts face to look down on me with disappointment, "you are more insolent than you have proved."

I nibble my lip, "I can be a good girl for you," I release my lip and offer a soft smile, "or a really, really bad girl."

"I wonder how much worse you can become."

"I can show-" I gasp and tighten my arms around him when he begins to move, "no wait, I'm sorry, please don't leave," I press my cheek on his shoulder and quickly beg, "please don't leave."

Dream shifts before he stills, "but is this not uncomfortable for you?"

"I like the way you feel," I admit, "I don't want you to pull away."

I relax when he rearranges me in his arms.

Effortlessly, Dream keeps me cradled in his arms as he rearranges us on the sofa. He is back beneath me and my legs are straddling his.

We both release a sigh of relief.

I lean back on the crook of his neck and begin to work on his hickies.

"Do not test me, girl," he warns so fervently I feel my womb quiver.

I whimper as he wraps his arms around me and moves his head to hinder my actions.

"I'm not testing you, my lord," I complain, taking his face in my hands, opting to kiss his face instead, "I'm worshiping you, adoring you, loving you."

Dream relaxes at the notion, then chuckles. The vibrations of his laugh leave me whining. He leans back and exposes his milky neck to me. I eagerly attack throat as he says, "very good."

[remedyturtles]

death wish facts/stats

entirely complied for my own amusement lol

first of all, this is how long i was actually working on death wish, saved in 5k increments:

now i didn't track my stats for the whole time but here's an example of how much that translates to daily writing. this is some of july:

here's the final count from my word doc. i do my final edit in the ao3 browser so i guess some got cut:

here's the stats of my planning doc:

whatever you're imagining my planning doc to look like, it's probably not that. it's kinda a huge mess, actually. i've shuffled things around constantly bc i boot the 'used' plot points into a giant pile and they get all messed up. it's a shame i didn't save more versions of this honestly bc it probably would've been fascinating. behold the inside of my brain:

to go even further back, mid-may i was left alone at work for like two hours to do a course and ended up scribbling the FIRST ideas i had for death wish on a piece of paper. whited out are unused/irrelevant things:

wild to me to realize which of those lines were literally from my absolute first thoughts of this fic LMAO

at one point i had to track how many days it had been in-story since the invasion bc i lost count. by the end of the fic i believe it had been 25 days, with 10 days at the beginning of leo being not-present. so 155k for 15 days hahahahahaha

i made a death wish playlist at one point and listened to it non-stop while writing. here it is:

it's all so incredibly loud and rosyln were on repeat for the iconic chapter 29 and it makes me so emotional

however then for chapter 30 for some reason my brain only wanted the kim possible theme song on repeat. you know how it is.

when i first decided on most plot points and began writing i said to someone it would probably be like 100-150k. i was right, though i'm surprised to be on the top end for sure. i would not expect this again, it was definitely a perfect storm. i normally do like ~40-80k.

i knew exactly how the fic would end before i wrote a single word. as much as i love and there is a place for wish fulfillment (eg future!donnie gets to come back, sensei gets his own body) my thing was that i knew people reading it would relate to the story. and i want to have... hopeful realism? like, if you have experienced grief and you related to sensei, i don't want to say 'haha your loved ones are actually alive!!!' ... i want to say, bad things happen, you will find other reasons to live. and for anyone who related to sensei and leo's situation (eg DID) i felt like magically giving sensei a body wouldn't be fair, bc that won't happen. instead they can work together and get through. if that makes sense LMAO

i have three side fics planned atm. two of them will be probably 2-5k each, the third will be like... idk. 15k? i haven't started yet i promise i'm still taking a rest hahahaha

thanks for reading hah

[nocompromise-noregrets]

hi so I just reread our trsb collaboration from last year and aaaaaaaaaaa it's so so good and I'm crying again even though I've read it at least five times before

I always find that there's something deeply lonely about the end of a story when all the familiar characters are dead or gone and the world is left to the next generation, but at the same time this one is still so full of joy and even though it's about the end and only vaguely describes the 100+ years in between it and the end of RotK, Arwen's life feels so rich and full of friendship and love and words cannot describe how much it makes me feel things.

And then there's all the beautiful little character details!!! Arwen wishing she could've shared her life with her mother???? The uncertainty of the twins' choice but also the "maybe there's always supposed to be one of each" and also the idea that they might stay and be the guardians of Middle Earth because it'll always be their home in a way that Valinor just isn't???? Gimli pledging to give Arwen's love to Galadriel????? EVERYTHING about the garden in Minas Tirith???? DID I MENTION THE TWINS??????? Augh. It's just. so perfect.

And of course. Hearing the wedding vows. The pledge. The bouquet. "what use would her mortal shell have for empty proximity, when their spirits are forever intertwined?" I have no words. I cannot possibly describe the emotions this is evoking in me.

Ok I will shut up now but ONE MORE THING. The second to last paragraph? Makes me sob. So much. It's so unbelievably beautiful and well expressed and I love it deeply with my entire being.

aaaaaaaaa! thank you SO MUCH, my lovely! I so enjoyed working with you on that one and I'm just thrilled that you like it so much <333333333 it was one of those that just kind of wrote itself, once it got going, and it went off in all manner of directions I wasn't quite expecting (Gimli was a particular surprise XD although I have to confess the twins were deliberate, as they always are with me :D ) I've been sort of circling Arwen and Celebrían and the twins for a long time (including all three TRSBs I've done, in one way or another) and I feel like I'm getting closer to them, although still not quite close enough to write the twins-make-their-choice fic I've been trying to do for ages. (nearly ready to write a reunion in Valinor, because that absolutely is the endgame, but the actual thinking and considering and dithering and finally coming to a decision is still eluding me)...anyway, I'm so delighted it's stuck with you and thank you so very much for letting me know, you've pretty much made my year. <333333333

(and if anyone else wants to read 5k of Arwen at Cerin Amroth contemplating her life, right at the end of it, and see some utterly beautiful art, it's here: I Will Be With You Always)

Her own reunion draws ever closer, in the place where the spirits of Men go, the place unknown to the Elves; at long last she will leave behind half of her heritage for ever. It has always been with her, even after she made her choice, it has stayed with her to the end of her days, but now it will leave her at last, or she will leave it. It is time for her to make that last sundering, to join her uncle and all of the cousins she never knew and turn her back on her closest family for ever. She has thought about this moment, contemplated it, turned it over in her mind, many times over the years, and since Aragorn has been gone, it has occupied her thoughts more and more. She has always thought that she would know when the time came, and now she is certain that it is drawing ever closer. She can almost hear his voice, that dear, dear sound, dearer to her than any other, singing the Lay of Lúthien just as he had on that evening so long ago when first they met, calling her home to him at last. He has been her hope for so long, the hope of Middle-Earth for longer - the twins called him ‘Estel’ all his life, although everyone else, once he was grown, used his proper name or called him ‘Strider’, and once he was King those who did not know him called him ‘Elessar’; but the twins, of course, always did things their way, and though he was the high hope of all free peoples, for the twins, Arwen thinks, he was their own hope, though they dressed it up in teasing banter. They could not defeat the Enemy on their own, she knows they knew this, and she thinks they knew, also, that if anyone could, it would be Aragorn - Estel, named by his mother because she knew it too.

[kuno-chan]

Things Writing Advice Advises You On That I Don't Follow

Because not all writing advice is meant for you.

I don't like word vomiting drafts. The lack of quality in the prose (out of me) leaves me uninspired and less likely to actually go edit it. I hate the way I physically feel when I word vomit (like when I actually vomit): uncertain and insecure in what I'm writing.

I edit while I write. Like, I will rephrase sentences and rewrite entire sections. I enjoy it. It puts me into the mood to be creative and write more. It catches me up with whatever I was feeling when I wrote those words. I feel like I'm smoothing my work out so I know how to continue building it. Like knitting, almost.

I do not write everyday. I write inconsistently because I have been writing so long (since I was 12 and I'm 29 now) that I know that I will come back to it. It's a part of who I am. If I go long enough without writing, some vision will eventually possess me and I'll feel the deepest urge to achieve it.

I write to checkpoints and try not to mind word count. As in, I write until I feel like a scene or chapter is done or I write until I feel like it's a good place to stop writing for the day because we're in some kind of transition in the scene.

This is because I know that my chapters average 3-5k and so 100k words is 25-30 chapters for me.

A lot of this is because I've been writing since I was a child and that means I got all my beginner years out when I was a little girl who didn't get embarrassed by my poor writing. I've been writing for almost 20 years, but this can apply to you too if you're in a writing advice spiral and feel bad about your writing.

A lot of (not all0 writing advice tries to act like they are writing rules, but there are no such things as writing rules. Only writing best practices.

If you're a beginner: Try things out. If you hate how it feels, toss it out and do something else until you're comfortably getting words out (or not comfortably. Whatever feels natural to you.)

If you've been writing for years but going through something: You know you. What works for you? Don't shame yourself into doing things the "proper" way. If turning on your inner editor gets those words coming out consistently (not necessarily fast), then employ that bitch. I am not a fast writer, but pressuring myself to be fast means nothing is coming out.

Have fun with your work.

Do it however feels natural to you.

[panevanbuckley]

tagged by @magdacimy thank you so much dear!! 💙

-20 questions for fic writers-

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 292 (jesus)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 649,327 (it's not as much as you might expect from the amount of fics bc i specialise in short fics)

3. What fandoms do you write for? atm? 9-1-1 is the fandom i have most fics for i think but i haven't written one in about a year. (i should get back on that!). i also sometimes do harry potter fics (usually jegulus), and i just started dipping my toe in f1 fics 👀

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. baby, come home [buddie] - 9033 (which is WILD to me)

2. don't tell my husband (he'll kill me) [buddie] - 8117

3. don't blame me, love made me crazy [jegulus] - 7691 (recently lost it's number 2 spot which makes me sad ngl)

4. come home to my heart [buddie] - 7491

5. fake boyfriends (with real kisses) [buddie] - 6790

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i used to all the time!! but in the past couple years it started getting overwhelming and now i rarely do but i DO read every single one and they make me smile every time 🥺

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? oh gosh i rarely write angst but the first one that came to mind was a 1917 fic ('loving you is a losing game'), that was pretty angsty

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? umm...literally any fic i write?? happy beginning, happy middle, happy ending. that's my brand of fic writing

8. Do you get hate on fics? not that i know of (and i'm ever grateful for that! i have the BEST readers)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? not really. i dabbled here and there in the past but i'm just not very good at it 😭

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? again not really. i did do a world war z x justified fic ('don't count your chickens before they hatch') because i'm total loosier trash so it was like an alternate universe of them in a way because of the same two actors 💀

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i think i have? actually idk people have asked if they can translate fics and i said yes but i haven't got links available to me. somebody once did a podfic ('in the silence we fall apart') translation though and i loved that!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i once wrote a part for a 5+1 buddie fic but i don't think the full thing ever got posted?

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 100% gotta be buddie hasn't it? they consumed my entire soul. i have sooo many otps though

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? there was a hogwarts au 'the pacific' fic i started writing in lockdown that must be over 10k that i never finished... i think about that a lot

16. What are your writing strengths? umm.. nothing?? no but in all fairness i have no idea but people have always told me my characterization is good. or my ability to make up OCs (which i do A LOT)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? god, speech? writing anything longer than 5k 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i LOVE it! i've had to do it quite a lot because usually the characters i write are multilingual

19. First fandom you wrote for? the maze runner!! goddd back in my wattpad days i wrote SO many newtmas/dylmas fics it was unreal. they really got me into fic writing

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? funnily enough it's not any of my buddie fics. even though i love those fics dearly and they're definitely favourites. but the one that owns my heart is 'don't blame me, love made me crazy'. it was the first jegulus fic i wrote, i had only gotten into the ship a few days prior and sat down to do a short fic but in a couple hours i had over 5k written and wasn't even halfway through 💀 this was back in the days when jegulus was still a rare pair too! and the love i got on it blew me away 🥺 so a huge thank you to anybody that read that fic!!

tagging literally anybody that sees this and wants to do it because i'm not sure who writes and posts on ao3! please tag me in your posts so i can check out your work too 👀