#and this is bc the tumblr community is still kinda active

[homunculusalphonse]

i wish lunter shippers had control over the h/unter noceda tag instead of the entire obnoxious siblingfying fandom, but alas.

[glitchdollmemoria]

yknow the cool thing about having a ptsd induced bad dream is it gives me more motivation to go watch cozy movies and eat comfort food til i feel better

[princemick]

also thanks for 2.7k yall mwah mwah mwah

[isa-ghost]

Isa my darling! Happy Birthday, albeit a couple of days early.

Seeing you screech in Philza's streams because Apollo hit you with that dodgeball yet again makes me giggle a lot.

How about since headcanon's for qPhilza's past/pre island relationship with qFit. How they got to know each other, and how quickly they became friends?

Idr if I said this on Tumblr yet but deadass I asked Apollo on my pendulum if qPhil is his blorbo and he said yes. He's been as invested in shit as me and it's been hilarious. I literally have crows yelling at me irl to keep writing rn but I'm answering headcanons first.

The entire time I've been distracted between writing these, crows have been yelling at me about it. Which. Is how Apollo communicates with me when I'm not actively talking to him through readings LMFAO.

Also thank you for the birthday wish :D [desperately hoping nothing else horrible happens this weekend please god]

Anyway qPhil headcanons masterlist let's go

Disclaimer that I didn't know of Fit before QSMP (I've only been in mcyt for 4 years monkaS) so these are gonna be largely pulled out of my ass and a lil repetitive.

These two both have experiences in anarchy and war, they've definitely brushed shoulders a couple times bc of it

They admired each other's work ofc. Phil is a macro scale kinda guy, total annihilation and victory that makes a statement. Fit's more of a micro scale kinda guy, zeroing in on one person or group individually and making their lives hell until the end in the name of surviving a little longer

On that note, I think we all sleep a little bit on the fact that Fit is Also a survivalist like Phil, just in a very different set of high stakes conditions. These two are equally skilled in it and equally sharp strategists

On that note, anyone who knew them from the past would fear the idea of them coming together to create a plan of any kind, especially of the anarchist-fueled variety. If the Federation has done their research right, they should know full well how terrifying this duo could be in an effort to dismantle their authority

Btw by brushing shoulders I don't just mean brief passings by, I mean they've like. Camped out for a night together, temporarily truced for the sake of safety in numbers, etc. More than a few conversations have been had even if the time they've spent together totals to less than a week.

However, even when they weren't actively paired together, they'd still occasionally trade or gift each other surplus resources. It was a genuine kind act, even if it simultaneously served as a reason for each of them to not come after the other. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

Like why do you think Fit was one of the first threats on Phil's mind in Purgatory. He Knew(tm). And he knew Fit has an affinity for picking off the weak first, like a lion after a herd of antelope. To him, Purgatory was the awakening of a monster who'd been dormant for a long time.

See, present day they're QPR as fuck, they'd never do this now without 10x the pressure Purgatory put on them, but back in the day they took close notes on each other's strengths and weaknesses. Just In Case, yknow? They could very much kill each other. Back in the day they would've if it came to it, no matter how good an ally they were.

Something about how these two used to be so cold and hard to the world. Be it to self-preserve or some other reason. Something about how now they've both softened and warmed after becoming parents. They never could've imagined the other would "weaken" like this, especially back then.

Phil 🤝🏻 Fit - Phil being a historian of the deities/builds of his Hardcore World, Fit being a historian of 2B2T

A lot of this boils down to mutual respect, common interests, and secret admiration tbh. And what's more homoerotic than that?

They're both crisis preppers. Not doomsday type shit, just. Being ready for shit to hit the fan. They both come from places where life is significantly more dangerous than it is in other realms.

The crazy thing is though? Despite the above, they can't imagine being from each other's realms. Phil would LOATHE 2B2T and Fit would hate the absoluteness of Hardcore. Isolation is absolute, death is absolute. There's no wiggle room or margin for error.

With how adaptive the two of them are due to their origins, they could probably acclimate to any conditions. They'd complain about having to, especially if it was inconvenient, but they could. They used to swap tips & tricks with each other on how to improve their adaptability too.

Fit would've 100% been down to join Phil on Doomsday in DSMP. He was thoroughly impressed when Phil told him the story.

[mikelogan]

hello. i really enjoy your content, but i have to say i'm kinda disappointed on you still being a ts fan. this woman knows what disney does and yet she still gave them the rights, meaning she either doesn't care or actively supports the genocide. or maybe she decided to turn her morals off because money is more important. not to mention how she consistently associates herself with questionable people and how a person literally died in one of her shows on brazil and she gave zero fucks. this woman is not a good person and there are no excuses to being her fan anymore.

no, i fully understand what you're saying and where you're coming from. over the last like. idk year and a half? ive been pretty vocal about my disappointment, distaste, and disagreement with a multitude of the choices she's made lately. i 100% agree that her silence on the subject of palestinian genocide (as well as many other human rights/social causes) is at best a sign of apathy and at worst a sign of support. especially when miss americana was all about her wanting to be more outspoken and be an activist. that all feels so incredibly performative now -- and has for a while. a lot of things that she's said and done since midnights, which is when i became more active in the tumblr swiftie community, have left a bad taste in my mouth for her as a person.

like i said, i genuinely agree with what you're saying. the only thing i take issue with is that she didn't care that a fan died at her show. she donated money to the fan's family and took time to meet them. regardless of my many issues with her, i do think she can be an empathetic person and i don't think that she just straight up didn't care that someone died before her show. it's one of those things (of which there are many) where we'll never know her true thoughts bc she doesn't talk about things. which is frustrating in itself.

now that's not the point of your message, so feel free to write that off as a digression. i strongly disagree with her making yet another version of the eras tour movie and hosting it on disney+. I'm personally boycotting disney+ and have been for a while. I don't even intend on watching the new version and like the vast majority of everything I gif, that shit is pirated -- that's how I watched the original release of the movie. obviously my consumption/boycotting is just one person compared to blondie, who has influence over millions, who could make real change if she spoke out against genocide.

at this point, im not supporting her financially either apart from listening to her music. which i love. im sorry, but I do. if I didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation. i think her constant churning out different exclusive versions of the same albums are a transparent money grab and maybe an effort to set more records as far as sales or streams or however that all works. and I'm not just saying that bc I literally couldn't even afford to buy a digital copy of an album right now.

so yeah. I appreciate that you enjoy my content and thank you for saying so, but if you need to unfollow or block, i understand. I've definitely toned down/completely stopped sharing posts about her as a person bc I'd much rather focus on just the music. and maybe that makes me a bad person for continuing to listen to and enjoy her music. im not saying i necessarily feel good about it, but i think the fact of the matter is that a lot of the celebrities, actors, musicians, etc. we like or whose content we enjoy hold views we disagree with and have different values or priorities. nuance exists. right now, im someone who is vocal about the palestinian genocide and I try to share resources/posts about it when they come across my dash and im also someone who is a fan of Taylor's music.

Idk, I hope what I'm saying makes sense at least on some level. I've done my best to word things coherently, but brain fog fucks w me a lot. and like. it's probably whatever, but I do plan on changing my url after ttpd releases. That probably upsets you more and I can see how people might think im a hypocrite or something and yeah, I get it. Idk, I just want to enjoy someone's music without endorsing them as a person, but that's extra difficult when the person in question is the biggest singer in the industry. but you'll never see me making excuses for her on things like this or the m*tty situation or numerous other things she's said and done that gross me out. im not so far up her ass that I think she's perfect or that I feel the need to defend her at every turn. like I said, nuance. anyway, if you feel the need to respond, i welcome you to do so as long as we both remain respectful, which I think we've done. this is a difficult topic, but that doesn't mean we can't discuss it. I appreciate your point of view and I'm sorry that I've disappointed you!

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[backwaterheroics]

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙!

repost, don't reblog!

NAME : rowen

PRONOUNS : she/her/my liege; we is also common i.e. 'we here at strife industries' etc but it's really just for self-reference

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : carrier pigeon maybe? i'm really bad at all kinds of communication tbqh. we can get some walkietalkies tho & i promise i haven't ever forgotten about u /phil collins voice, u'll be in my heart

chatting on tumblr ims is fine & i do have a discord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ u can even have my whatsapp if u want, but standard messaging & data rates may apply. talk to ur doctor if rowenix is right for u

NAME OF MUSE(s) : this here is my boy kuraudo sutoraifu-waifu but i've written a few other characters here and there; cloud is the only rp blog i have any semblance of presence on atm tho - he is my forevergirl, my homeslice, my big chalupa. for ffvii specifically, i've also written rp for elena and rufus

BEST EXPERIENCE : you! i've met all my best friends through rp which is probably why i'm still even around in the rps

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : i don't like it when ppl say they do not like the chara i am literally writing at that moment. so like, if you don't like cloud, why are you here..... we don't have any money... we've got nothin for ya.... pls smash that unfollow button and do not hit the notification bell....,other than that tho, i don't really care. it's the internet. i've seen 4chan

MUSE PREFERENCES : paris hilton voice; i'll take five more of these little blonde bitches; fr tho i like charas who have issues with the self/who have a man vs self literary conflict kinda thing going on. i also like side-chars who don't have a lot of lore coz then i don't have to start from scratch like with an oc, but i still have freedom in the preassembled sandbox u kno?? i don't have time for a rowenverse

PLOTS OR MEMES : spontaneous stuff is easier for me; plotted stuff can get too detailed and then i freak myself out about it bc of anxiety about quality & expectations. that aside, i'll do either. if we go plotted i'd rather go 'lightly plotted' as in we talk about an idea and then just run with it, with minor course corrections as we go should the plane not take off as expected

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i personally tend to match length but sometimes the words just gotta come out and your one to three liner will have a 500 word reply. i have no preference from what i receive to what i give. it just is what it is and i'm grateful ur even taking the time to spend it with me

BEST TIME TO WRITE : when something else more important needs to get done. we love executive dysfunction. like right now, i should be finishing up a work project for tomorrow's meeting and yet....

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : our sense of humor is the same, or at least similar... cloud's social awareness is probably better than mine. neither of us talk a lot. is that good enough????

TAGGED BY: vctlan & then everyone i'm following who is still active has already done this i'm pretty sure... so if you haven't been tagged before and u see this, then i'm tagging u ok -- tell me abt u and be my friend

[yoomtahsgf]

꒰ა amy finally gets a remake!! ໒꒱

hellooooo everyone ik its been a while but tumblr is finally cooperating with me so i finally get my fresh start!! this blog will be a selfship on main kinda deal plus general personal blog so if ur here for my aes posts go to @amariafiore ^_^

if u dont know me already hii im amaria (amy or ama for short) im a 19 yr old ace genderfluid lesbian (they/them) and ive been in selfship for a good few years now, u mightve known me as lesbianpikachuu before!! and i have only one romantic fo who takes up the entirety of my heart at all times, drumroll please...

yoomtah zing from epithet erased my absolute beloved darling<3<3<3<3<3<3<3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!obvious from my url but i still wanna give her a grand entrance hehe i love her so much<3we've been together since march 15th 2020 at 11:45 pm and i couldnt be happier with anyone else<3<3<3

i DO NOT SHARE HER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, please block me if you ship with her, interact with anyone else who ships with her, or ship her with anyone other than me in general. id also like any mentions of her "canon" love interest tagged.

please dni if u are pr/osh/ip, have incestuous ships, are an adult with underaged fos, or ship with real people; please also dni if u are anti-y/andere as i heavily relate to y/anderes bc of my own mental illness and am actively in the y/andere community (only slashing so this post doesnt make its way into yan tags)

my carrd is here if u would like any extra info!! thank u for reading and i hope we can be friends<3!!

[fr-wiwiw]

I have no art to post— actually I do. It's my studies and sketches, sfw & nsfw, things like that. But I haven't been deliberately drawing something. Mainly I've just been focusing on sharpening my art skills to gain commissions as I'm a freelance human artist, in the midst of AI chaos, I'm trying my very best to keep up while not draining myself.

So I just want to give you some updates of my life, idk if this is important or not. I'm still a bit constipatedly (is this even a fucking word lol) awkward with communicating with my followers or advertising myself. Ironic, really, bcs I majored in design & advertisement.

Hi there, my lovelies—I hope you don't mind me calling you all that. I've been trying to do healthy habits and diligently fulfill my needs in 3 aspects. Mentally, spiritually and physically. For the past 7± years, I was not really in a great place mentally. I will not expose it in this post, don't worry it doesn't have anything to do with drugs or whatnot. Just that I've been constantly working and working, controlled by fear and my anxieties and I got depressed I think.

I didn't really understand how to actually 'heal' back then. But now I do now. Starting from January I've been trying to bounce back to have a healthy mindset again— trust me when I say I'm an overthinker & problem solver, it's such a nightmare to live in this body sometimes. Fellow overthinker, problem-solver & feeler type will relate to this perhaps hahah.. I'm a turbulence type too, fucking yay. Luckily, my prayers are answered. I can't write it down one by one here, you would be reading a 10k+ fanfiction and I'm sure you'd rather have me draw or write a real fanfic, smut would be preferable won't it? lol

I have many things change, become my better self (bcs I was, still am obsessed becoming better than my past self and I'm tired of living in such dark headspace). I do feel the changes, it helps that I have better friends, filtered out some that affects me negatively. This journey going into my 30s really is such a roller coaster, I never liked my 20s bcs of all the trauma and pain. But I wouldn't be able to reach this point if it wasn't for it.

So.. I'm grateful. Trying to always be grateful too, no matter how hard my circumstances are. I have faith that I will get what I've always envisioned and dream of

I'm also grateful that in 2022, a friend encouraged me to post my Gahan fanart. Now this may seem like biased and dedicated post for my Gahan moots & followers, in some way yes, I cannot deny that. But mostly this is too all of you, who come here and follow me bcs you like my arts & fanfics, supports me however you can despite having our own hardships that we may or may not share here. Your responses to my creations really feeds me and help me boost my confidence to keep drawing & keep creating, keep hoping. I always read your hashtags here, a lot of you are really such a hilarious individuals. I'm grateful my art can find you or you find my art and take delight in it. Because I do take delight in your reactions. In some ways, I never realized it, but you guys feel like penpals. It still feel one-way communication most of the time, idk if it's because of my awkwardness to respond to such responses. Feeling like, ah this too will pass or just bask in the reactions and sit then do nothing productive. I'm kinda scared I will be satisfied with one post and then not post anymore. You get it.. Yea you can probably tell by now I'm up in my head thinking too much. Posting that first Gahan fanart on twitter really was the best decision. It feels like I gained a special community, that's surprisingly still active and alive till this very day, I'm always waiting for new fics to drop gosh. I get to see tweets & tumblr posts that are deranged, detailed analysis, fan edits, those gifs, aus, fellow artists & authors! I get to know little bits of your daily lives too and what kind of person you are online haha, just so fun.

And then my freelancing journey.. My decision to become a freelancer has always been one of my dreams but boy oh boy isn't it fucking hard to start from 0 and exist in confusion haha. Money doesn't come easy too bcs I help feed my family along with my siblings. I've been swallowing all my jealousy seeing ppl my age can go out and watch concerts (even tho I don't like crowded & noisy places like that). Going on vacation, be in a romantic relationship, marry, so on and so forth. Idk if this is tmi posting my feelings like this out in the world, but it is what it is.

So.. TLDR:

Hi, I'm alive. I haven't post or updated much bcs I've been focusing on my well being. Honing my art skills, trying to get art commissions to put food on my table and simultaneously enjoying life as much as I could wisely. Thankyou to all of you who are still following me and keep supporting me, I will have to say, If you follow me for only Gahan posts, I have to disappoint you bcs I won't always post Gahan bcs I draw other things too. For my enjoyment, yours, others and mostly for me to gain market for commission too. This is norm, I'm sure most of you realized that too. But I still want to address things to you, I like interacting with all of you. I won't be surprised if one day you leave/unfollow, but let me be grateful to you while you're still here supporting me ^^

That's all for my update. I try my best to make this post as short but effective as possible so I don't bore you with my long ass writing, per usual lol. I cannot seem to write in shorts, I have accepted my faith lmao.

I wish you all well, wherever you are. I hope we can all be happy and well in this dark and uncertain place. Don't hesitate to give comments or drop questions here, I'm cooking my skills and art taste so I can give more to you and be satisfied with what I will achieve along with the progress.

See you in the next post!🌟

[jeonqkooks]

happy new year's eve!

just a quick lil post bc i’d just like to talk a bit about my 2023 on tumblr and what’s to come in 2024 and this isn't exactly a sunshine-and-rainbows post so i figured i'd say it while we're still in 2023. idk if anyone’s even bothering to read under the cut but if not then this is just for me lol

but yeahhh 2023 wasn’t exactly great in terms of the tumblr experience for me. i was in a creative slump for a while there and thought writing had completely slipped from me. got wack anons for the first time! people whom i thought were relatively cool turned out to be weirdos which was hella disappointing lol smh. the fandom experience took a turn for the worse - though i am still grateful that i had a solid year and a half that was really fun being a part of the fandom before things took a nosedive (🙄). overall, it was the accumulation of all these things and more that made being on jeonqkooks not as fun and comforting anymore, which has been quite sad bc you know how much i loved being here with you guys - you’re all my bubs 💞

don’t worry i’m not leaving lol. i’m not abandoning any wip. i’m still gonna be here; i’m just taking my time to find my groove with the blog and our lil community here again <3 when it comes to writing, i’ll probably be a bit more active elsewhere (cough @withleeknow cough) for the time being bc that’s where the inspo is coming from right now lol

also, i’m kinda hoping for bigger changes in 2024 in my personal life sooo there’s that !

yeah, that’s it i guess. i’m still in the obs server if people are still interested in joining

love you all very much 💘 happy new year's eve!

[aroace-number-eight]

Oh my word there’s still an LL fandom on here????!!!! I’m rereading the books after a couple years, and was a bit saddened to find that most of the fandom fell away after the series had ended (bc I actually only read the books for the first time when the entire series had been published for years), but you post regularly and reblog regularly, so yay, it seems that people are still here!!! After years of loving these books and rereading them I’d love to finally join the fandom— any blogs you’d recommend I follow, ppl who are still into LL and active at least every couple months? (I’d say ‘acgive regularly’ if I was a normal-ish person, but I’m rarely online, so I don’t mind people who post sporadically too— in fact I almost prefer that, you get me?). Anyways ahhh tldr I’m so glad other people are still obsessing over these aliens lol, like super happy :D

Hey hey, welcome to the fandom!! Yeah we're still here, it kinda gets a bit quiet now and again with all of us being busy, but the fandom is still around and kicking!

Most LL fans as far as I'm aware post about the series on their main blogs that have frequent activity, so if you don't mind following people that post any kind for a while but have something LL related now and again, this would be your option. If you wanna chat them up about the series then I would say @kip-loric @biddybaboop @simpforsix are very active and occasionally share LL art or incorrect quotes or memes!

If you are looking for LL blogs, I would say @5s-missing-eye and @apocalx post on occasion, but they're super passionate about the characters and have tons of interesting aus and headcanons and book thoughts to read through!

Kip currently has a Gem AU with the Garde that you can ask them about if you happen to know about Steven Universe, and both them and apocalx have LL OCs who are Human Garde with some detailed backstories and personalities!

I usually just follow the lorien legacies tag and find stuff from there, and once in a blue moon you get a new person come out and post some art or incorrect quotes or fanfic ideas for a while! The tag updates sporadically as well, but sometimes in the year it gets pretty frequent (like now for example since it's break for some of us in school).

If you wanna hang out with the community and have a discord, we have a tumblr fandom server here and an instagram fandom server here!

I also wanna note that though LL posts aren't frequent year round, the fandom in general is happy to discuss the series and talk about our favorite characters or what we think about the books, and there's lots of us who got things we wanna say to someone. Send over an ask or hop in DMs with a question or two or three!

This is a bit of a messy answer, but I hope it's a start and helps you meet some people from the fandom!

[shoutsofmybones]

ok, i gotta confess this to someone so i'm leaving it on catholic tumblr, which is close enough to an actual confession i guess. anyways basically i've been pretending to be catholic for about 4 years now. for context, i didn't get baptized as a baby because my godparents got divorced a bit before i was born, and it took me until i was 16 to start the whole process bc a lot of shit came up. i stopped believing the whole thing when i was like 13 but i agreed to go through with it bc it would be way more trouble than it's worth to break it to my mom i'm not a christian and she was really looking forward to it so i was like whatever, why not. so i went through the classes you have to take to prep for it for about half a year, it was boring as hell, basically just hearing some lady go on a two hour jesus monologue and pretending you were taking notes about it every sunday. so i went through the whole process, had a retreat, had my first and last confession where the priest and i could barely understand eachother so to this day i have no idea what he thinks i confessed to, went through the pre-baptism ceremony where i slipped and fell on my ass in front of the bishop (ironically only thing i think god had anything to do with in the whole story), got baptized in front of my parents and godparents with a completely blank mind and fully calculated facial expressions and reactions and there you go, i'm schrodinger's catholic.

later on i ended up joining the church choir because it was the only structured social activity available in this godforsaken neighborhood, did the only two things i kinda regret where i sang at a seventh-day mass and a priest's ordenation ceremony, which is kinda like a marriage if you think about it, but no harm done i guess. i left it last month because the whole enviroment was getting kinda toxic. i still participate in the community when i'm called and regularly go to mass because it makes my parents happy and the priest is nice enough, i like hearing out what he has to say during the homily. yes i do take communion, i don't feel bad about it, i pretend to pray after i take it but i'm probably thinking about what i'm gonna do after i get home.

i've considered actually confessing this and getting excommunicated in the funniest way possible after my parents die, but i'll cross that bridge when i get to it. if god's real i know i'm gonna go straight to satan's lap for this, but i don't worry too much about it since i know he made his mind up long ago.

it kinda sounds like you're a practicing catholic

[citizen-zero]

Also I wish my early years of being asexual were not spent on tumblr because like

so much of the focus was specifically on people who have no interest in sex or sexual activity at all that it was very alienating being someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction but does have a fairly active libido and does now enjoy sex. I don’t begrudge sex-indifferent and sex-negative people whatever validation they might’ve gotten but I just wish there’d been more community for people who were still horny on main. Or that I’d been around that community more, if it did exist

like a big reason I internalized so much aphobia back then was bc, for all the talk about how asexuality is a spectrum with lots of different experiences, I felt like I never saw my experience reflected in the discussion. I felt like the discussion was dominated by the people who (in my view at the time) were infantilizing themselves as an over-corrective reaction to the societal narratives around sex. Or people who were just straight up slut shaming. I felt like people like me were just kind of an afterthought, like, “oh yeah I guess you still count.”

Also I thought a lot of like “ace culture” stuff was kinda silly. Like all the jokes about preferring cake or whatever just grated on my nerves and just added to my feeling that people were infantilizing themselves. It’s not that everything had to be deeply serious I just thought the jokes were annoying and unfunny. I think probably the combination of feeling alienated and being in a community of other annoying unfunny teenagers was probably what opened the gates to a lot of the aphobic shit I internalized later

I didn’t relate at all to the “I feel broken” stuff or the “I’m not interested in it at all” angle because I was!!!! I am!!!! I’d been masturbating and reading smut since I was like, 13. I didn’t have any trouble at all understanding the appeal of sex and relationships. The thing that tipped me off to the idea that maybe I was asexual was the fact that my friends would be lusting over hot strangers and I just didn’t find them anything but aesthetically pleasing. I was horny but like, I wasn’t desperate to get laid with another person. I was perfectly fine taking care of my own self.

It’s to the point where I still can’t engage with ace stuff on tumblr too much because I just feel a knee jerk annoyance about it. Like I see someone on this site talk about something as innocuous as “here’s a book with asexual representation” and I feel instant knee jerk disdain for it even without any other information. I don’t even actually mean it, I’m just still so primed for Tumblr + asexuality = fucking annoying and alienating

Maybe if my early experience had been on a forum that skewed older (like AVEN maybe?) or just wasn’t dominated by teenagers and college students it would be different. Maybe I would’ve had more of that community of people who shared my experiences who were older and if not wiser then at least not a fellow dumbass teenager

[rollercoasterwords]

hey! I'm sorry if you've answered this/spoken about this before, and if so please just point me in the direction of your previous answer. but I recently had a trans friend who asked me to stop interacting with the wolfstar/marauders fandom. liking/reblogging posts and reading fanfics within the marauders fandom are the only way I interact with jkr/hp. I would not do anything to directly give her money, but my friend's argument is that every like and interaction with the fandom makes it more influential, which translates to more money. as well as not boycotting hp entirely is a slap in the face to trans people. so, I've stopped reblogging content because I don't want to negatively impact my friend or any other trans people, but I don't personally think I'm doing any harm through engaging with fanart/fanfic.

obviously you're engaged in the fandom, so I'm kinda looking to have my opinion validated... but I think you're very smart and that we share similar values, so I respect your thoughts and any advice you have for this situation. thank you <3

honestly anon if ur looking for like a nicely-wrapped post of "here's why it's okay to interact with harry potter fanfiction" then u have probably come to the wrong place, as this is a topic that i still have conflicted feelings about myself! but. if u want a little essay of my thoughts on the matter then here u go xx

so, first of all - yes, obviously i still interact with hp fandom. however, i'm not going to pretend that i don't understand your friend's point. i get the logic behind the argument that giving any attention to any sort of harry potter media in this day and age helps keep harry potter relevant, which contributes to jkr's influence, which is an influence she actively uses to hurt trans people. i understand why ur trans friend would feel hurt or ask u to stop interacting w hp media altogether.

however, trans people are not a monolith, and there are many trans people who continue to interact with hp in a variety of ways. for me, the space i've carved out in fandom over the past year or so has been a little online haven since i have to remain closeted irl for the most part. hp fanfic has been an important outlet for me to explore + express things abt my own trans identity. but i am also very aware that within the broader trans community, i am not one of those who is most vulnerable to jkr's rhetoric + politics. at the end of the day, there are trans people who don't care if you spend money on hp, there are trans people who don't care if u interact with fandom as long as u aren't spending money, there are trans people who think u shouldn't touch hp with a five-foot pole, and all manner of perspectives in between.

for me personally, there are caveats to my interaction with hp + the way i navigate the ethical minefield of jkr. i don't think there is any reason to ever financially contribute to hp, whether that's buying merch or games or going to hp themeparks or whatever, and i discourage people from interacting w hp within the context of any sort of profit economy. i try not to interact with hp in a way that will grow the popularity of the franchise in any way - i post fanfiction on ao3, where the people reading it are gonna be people who are already part of this space that are seeking it out, and i have this tumblr blog which is, essentially, the same deal. i'm not trying to advertise my fic or get people to suddenly develop a new interest in harry potter, if that makes sense. this is part of why tiktok remains a bit of an ethical quagmire for me, because i feel that the way people interact w fic on there often blurs the lines between being inside or outside of a profit economy.

i also think it's important, when interacting with hp in any way, to acknowledge jkr's influence and the inherent shittiness of the source material. i don't think it's enough to go "dobby wrote the books haha!" and act like we can just ignore jkr, bc her shitty politics are built into the book. i think it's important to engage critically and to consider how you're building off the source material and whether ur unintentionally perpetuating the biases in the text by copying and pasting them without further examination. i talk abt this more in this post

and, of course, i think it's important to vocally stand against jkr + her politics, and to support trans people within + outside of fandom spaces in whatever ways you can. i think it's important to stay educated + engage with theory + politics in a way that goes beyond retweeting posts or watching tiktok clips. jkr isn't just transphobic; her sexism, racism, classism, fatphobia, homophobia, ableism, antisemitism, and overall horrible neoliberal politics are very much built into the text of hp, and if u are not actively educating urself on these issues it's gonna be easier to just internalize them without realizing it.

for me, these are all considerations that affect the way i interact with hp + the extent to which i interact with hp. however, there are people out there who would probably tell me to get off my high horse + stop acting like there are more or less ~morally pure~ ways to interact with hp, bc at the end of the day there's no ethical consumption under capitalism and people writing hp fanfiction isn't really harmful in the grand scheme of things. there are other people who would tell me that it doesn't matter what mitigating factors i'm using to justify my hobby; any contribution that keeps people talking about hp keeps jkr relevant, and i should be able to find other shit to write about. and like....i understand the perspectives of both those people, y'know?

i honestly just think this is a decision where every individual needs to weigh the scales themselves and decide what they're okay with. it's not my job to police or justify the ways people do or don't interact w hp media; if someone's interacting with it in a way i don't like, then i block that person or just don't interact with them. if someone sees me interacting w hp fanfic + thinks that makes me a shitty person, then they can think that and we can go on living our separate lives. some trans people continue to find comfort + community in hp fandom spaces, other trans people feel deeply hurt by the continued existence of these spaces. there is no single answer to What Supports Everybody. your relationship with your friend is something specific to your situation that you'll need to take into account when weighing your own feelings about interacting with hp; the only advice i can really offer is that i think it's better to critically consider the various perspectives people have on this issue without reducing it to a black and white case of two sides where one must be right and one must be wrong.

[toonbly]

6.) speaking of tv adaptations, why would yours get cancelled? (other than capitalism); 9.) if your story got a video game adaptation/spin off, what would it be like?; 13.) how long have you been working on this project? what has changed from the outset? 16.) imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?; 18.) what aspect of the story would get you #canceled on twitter?

6.) speaking of tv adaptations, why would yours get cancelled? (other than capitalism)

I THINK BECAUSE IT GETS TOO DARK FHSDJKFSDFKJDSF like without giving the reason of "oh theres a lot of queer characters" or smtn similar, i think ferrymen would get pulled off air bc i dont pull punches with it's subject matter. that could absolutely be my bias though bc honestly in the grand scheme of things ferrymen is pretty tame, it's no "alone" from moral orel to be sure lol

9.) if your story got a video game adaptation/spin off, what would it be like?

i'd want it to be very psychonauts esque! quirky platformer with a unique art style, strong characters, levels based in characterization, heavy focus on story, etc. i'm not a game designer so i cant say anything beyond Vibes, but i think smtn like that would be fun

or maybe a game kinda like the wolf among us. a choose your own adventure mystery with a stark artstyle and choices that impact the plot and characters

13.) how long have you been working on this project? what has changed from the outset?

since about early-mid 2020 iirc! ferrymen went through a lot of EXTREME changes pretty rapidly. it used to be a cyberpunk murder mystery called CMYK and had a few different characters in it! i still wanna use moss for some other project lol

16.) imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS IS THE THING LOL. not exactly this but i have thought about what all the characters blogs would look like:

i think nathans socials have been dead for the past 5 years, but his tumblr would just be covered in photos from his ghost hunts, livestream announcements, reblogging fanart for his show, etc. bc the story takes place in the 2030s/2040s i think nathans old enough to have been a tumblr veteran too so he knows the fucking Ancient Texts. don't think he would've bothered deleting it so it kind of just serves as a time capsule of the peak of ParaNathan

mai's blog is entirely anonymous and is mostly just her reblogging posts about cryptids and the paranormal. it's pretty empty even though she's had it for Years because she would've nuked her blog out of embarrassment at some point bc it was just COVERED in fandom stuff she's embarrassed of now, even if she still secretly really loves all that old stuff.

eddie's is just an empty blog he likes things from on the rare occasion he gets hold of a phone/computer and actually bothers to check tumblr. probably has the default icon header and title and so gets mistaken for a bot a lot

joey doesn't seem like the kind of kid to be super active on social media honestly??? but i do think he'd jump on to reblog and like posts about cute diy crafts n stuff. he likes making things with his hands so i think he'd get a kick out of the one of a kind doll community

eli would get kung pow penis'd off the site within the first hour of being here

18.) what aspect of the story would get you #canceled on twitter?

i think the fact that later in the story ferrymen depicts abelism towards an autistic person would drive twitter crazy lol. like the whole point is "this is bad and this is how it's damaging to this character and their sense of identity" but the twitter crowd loooves the idea of depiction = condoning and would probably happily ignore the fact that i'm autistic and this character's struggles are reflective of my own so. wuh oh HFKJHDSJHKFDJ

that or eli is intentionally designed to look like a tumblr sexyman bc i thought it was funny. i think it should get cancelled for that tbh

oc ask game!

[chronicxwanderlust]

get to know the author!

name: tabitha

pronouns: she/her

preference of communication: used to be a die-hard tumblr im's girlie but finally caught onto the discord train a few years ago! still stick to im's for like initial contact/plotting but definitely am reached better and interact more consistently on discord.

most active muse: that would be my bb marley! she's my longest active muse of about...four years now? i feel like it might be longer but that's as old as any of her blogs that i can find! but without fail she's always the muse i have the most inspiration for, and a foolproof way to get myself out of any writing slumps. will say though after really only exclusively playing her for like three years, this last year or so i've tried my hand at so many new characters/fcs and now have so many new muses that i adore!

experience/how many years: when i tell you that i have absolutely zero recollection of how i discovered rping on this hellsite!!! my middle school bestie introduced me to tumblr for sure but how i ever discovered rp will probably forever be a mystery to me, but i think i've been here since i 2011? do not remember if rping on omegle (PLEASE who let me be unsupervised on the computer!!!!) came before or after, but once i was here i started with glee rp (cannot interfere, it's a canon event) and somehow crawled my way to today and into my home amongst simple town rps asdfghgfghj.

best experience: this last year or so has probably given me the biggest giggles that i can remember ever having!!! i had the fortune of meeting some really great writers to brave this madness together and just getting to laugh and bounce ideas and plots off of them and also to have a front row seat to their work outside of what we've come up with has just been so cool and inspiring? like the fact that this is done as a silly little hobby but i genuinely am constantly left just in awe of their talent is just so beyond me!

rp pet peeves: lazy plotters or people who so clearly don't read your intro before just throwing connects out there (usually in order to face chase and it's like babe, if you read my intro i wouldn't have to tell you why x, y, and z does not fit for this muse like?)! i don't mind shipping certain faces together but wanting a ship solely for the faces and not caring about the muse themself is usually so blatant and obnoxious.

fluff, angst, or smut: big fan of both fluff and angst! i generally like more plot driven threads, which i feel usually lends itself to angst, but love balancing out the heavy stuff with something light and fun when it calls for it and def think those can help move a plot along as well! think it's kinda funny that before i was allowed to write smut, i wanted to do so more than i do now that i actually can? it's not that i won't, but it'd probably have to be a ship i really cared about and thought it'd add something to see what that connection is like when they're intimate?

plots or memes: i am the worstttttt when it comes to memes! i start off with such good intentions but usually they just build up in my inbox and i tell myself i should answer them...and then let them sit in my inbox for longer until it's really been too long since i should've answered them and tell myself i'll be better next time. but plots, i live for that shit! don't even need big elaborate ones, like one of my longest rp besties and i usually just send each other little blurbs of an idea and literally could spend forever going back and forth with musings and headcanons for it. 

long or short replies: i look back on like my 2016 rp days and literally do not know how i went from little one line responses to writing novels. like the #pls don't feel like you have to match length tag is v me coded bc i absolutely am not getting out of a response without at least a paragraph. love love love exploring my muses thought processes and reasonings and their inner monologue, which can lead to some pretty lengthy responses, depending on the thread!

time to write: tell myself all day at work that when i get home, it's time to write...and then i get home and i tell myself that it's time to nap instead! i have the most time to write in the evening/night time or during the weekends, and that's when i can get random little bursts of motivation to not wait until the suns gone down to start writing.

are you like your muses: i do like to give my muses tiny little parts of myself, like if they reference a tiktok that's ended up on my fyp, or some weird quirks or opinions, but as a whole, i don't think i'd consider myself too similar to any of them!

tagged by: @waveofstars thank you bb!

tagging: @sinsoakedsaints, @tinytriceratop, @kiplingwriter, + anyone who wants to!