#and this is one facet of that for me

[lena-oleanderson]

Still Looking or on knowing there's a way out because you've been here before. you've been in bigger and scarier places before, and even they had a way out, and a friend on the other side waiting. and if the journey is too much for you, get up and eat. even if the bread needs to be baked for you, even if you need to be told, even if you need to be fed, just let someone tell you to get up and eat, let someone feed you, and get up and eat, and find a way out. (and like the mary ellen carter, rise again)

[knightingale]

The "Sansa reminds Sandor of his sister" motive that some people try to hitch to his character really just flies in the face of his actual attachments to her, doesn't it? Sansa reminds Sandor of himself. He sees the little boy who used to love knights in this girl who's been swept up by the same romanticism. He sees his abuser in her abusers, the much larger knight(s) beating on the helpless child. He sees how she is betrayed by every level of authority that should have saved her and remembers his father's neglect and Tywin and Robert's apathy for Gregor's crimes. He's protective of Sansa because he was Sansa.

And GRRM's design, that one of the strongest warriors in the series, a fearsome and cynical 6'8" guy who's "muscled like a bull" and has the face of death itself, sees himself in this soft and effeminate teen girl, and empathizes with her because he was an abuse victim too, is INFINITELY more compelling than "Oh yeah I bet she just reminds him of his sister," who he's never mentioned and who we know literally nothing about. Way to unnecessarily water down a character, you couldn't have ignored the black and white text more efficiently if you tried.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

hoptal

[thirdwheelravi]

whats crazy is like. obviously. obviously you cannot go down the road of buck being bi without addressing the entire issue of eddie. because once you are like this is a guy who forms romantic attachments to men you are like ohhhhhhhhh okay. well that makes sense seeing as we have watched him form a romantic attachment to a man for the past 7 seasons. like you cant put that on the table and then just deny the fact that that's what happened. its really crazy that a some people think you can just do that but you cant

[myrkulitescourge]

can i just say, it still makes me feel a little crazy how astarion, come act 3, still can’t quite put a name to his relationship with his partner, but he WILL tell them he wants to keep them both safe.

he won’t say i love you just yet but he will say forever, for good.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Thinking thoughts about buck and the food of it all - specifically when someone else is doing the cooking for him.

Because we don’t see others cooking for buck all that often - but when we do it’s very interesting. Obviously we have Bobby cooking all the time - that is predominantly for the entire firefam - the one exception being the pre lawsuit dinner with Athena. Other than Bobby the only people we’ve seen cook for him to some degree have been Taylor, Tommy, Eddie, and technically now Tia Peoa.

What’s especially interesting to me is that Taylor and Tommy - both his love interests, only ever made breakfast (Taylor barely even did that as it was mostly take out rather than something she actually made herself) and they are connected in to Buck struggling with some thing. Taylor when Buck is struggling with Maddie and Chim leaving, Tommy did twice - during the billy boils arc and again after their hook up - both times coming just before they break up (is the second one classed as a break up? I’m counting it).

Eddie and Tia pepa however, like Bobby, made dinner - not breakfast. So there’s something about breakfast being prepared by a li and it being a metaphor for that romantic relationship being set to fail when it’s connected to Buck.

However, making dinner for Buck is connected to family and family bonds - and the strength of those bonds when under strain - because in all 3 occasions when dinner has been made for buck the relationship has been subsequently tested, or it was already under strain.

With Bobby it was pre the lawsuit, but there was already tension as Bobby was keeping buck from returning to work.

With Eddie it was in the aftermath of him leaving the 118 and shortly before his full mental health break down, and Tia pepa cooking dinner came in the aftermath of buck and Eddie’s grief spiral argument and just before Eddie was due to return to El Paso - with buck still struggling with his grief and having to lose Eddie and Chris all over again.

So yeah - something about others cooking for Buck at times of stress and tension, but on all three occasions we see that tension and stress ultimately leading to stronger and closer bonds, especially familial.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I've decided I'm gonna memorize a poem by heart this month. And possibly memorize one poem a month for the rest of the year

[dykedvonte]

One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.

I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.

The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.

Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.

I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Hi! I just stumbled onto your blog and saw that you do analogies! And I’ve just been dying to talk about this lol,

I’ve always wanted to talk about Dazai and Akutagawa, and how Dazai ignoring him and never actually apologizing to him is actually helping him in some sick way.

think about it this way, Dazai knows that Akutagawa wants his approval, he needs his approval, even if Dazai abused him.

Dazai knows that if he were to give Akutagawa the attention and approval he wants Akutagawa is going to continue to see Dazai as his savior, however if Dazai continues to ignore him and purposely puts the tiger guy(I can’t spell his name 💔) in front of him multiple times akutagawa is going to eventually have character development and growth and eventually he’s going to grow out of Dazai, In a way Dazai is helping him, because of the strong attachment Akutagawa has to Dazai is a weakness, it’s a weakness that has no place in the port mafia. im sure there’s more to back up this claim but still.

or I’m just talking out of my ass and Dazai just uses him for his selfish purposes(most likely)

thank you for listening to my Ted talk 😓

Hi anon! Thank you for inviting me to your Ted talk!

The Dazai and Akutagawa dynamic is one of the more complicated dynamics in BSD, and certainly one of the hardest to discuss. There are a lot of facets that I couldn't possibly cover all in one post, so I'll just address the question you brought up: Is Dazai, in his own twisted way, trying to help Akutagawa?

Well... I think, sort of, yes. But calling it "help" is generous.

BSD has a running theme of abuse narratives that sit on this uncomfortable fence - neither particularly apologetic nor condemning of them, but simply showing the characters' complicated reactions as they are. Personally, it's something I appreciate as a reader. Atsushi's struggle against the ghost of the orphanage director is one of my favourite parts of the story. The director is dead, but Atsushi spent much of the early story acting specifically to prove him wrong - as if to measure his life's worth against the words he'd been assaulted with. He knows the orphanage director was needlessly cruel and does not forgive him, but he also learns the reason why he did it. He hates him, but he's still allowed to have messy feelings of grief for the man who was the closest thing he ever had to a caregiver.

These narratives crop up again and again. The Orphanage Director and Atsushi. Akutagawa and Kyouka. Kouyou and Kyouka. In all of these, the through line is the initial intent: each one of the people who enacted these cruelties intended to help. However, they're limited and blinded by the cruelties they themselves underwent. As such, they do what they think is best without any regard for whether that is actually what the other person needs. The Orphanage Director thought he was toughening Atsushi up to prepare for the outside world. Kouyou thought she could shield Kyouka in the shadows since her experience was that having hope and losing it is worse than having none at all.

Akutagawa tried to help Kyouka too, in his own way, by emulating what he thought Dazai wanted from him - he tried to forcibly fashion her into a weapon, into someone strong, because that's the only way he thought her life could have meaning.

But the Dazai and Akutagawa dynamic, though it bears similarities to many of these, is much more complex. For one, Akutagawa misinterpreted what Dazai wanted from him. He thought if he fashioned himself into a strong enough weapon, he could prove his worth and be acknowledged. But that's not the case. Here's a few passages from Dark Era:

Dazai wasn't trying to make a sharper blade, he was trying to make him more well-rounded - to learn to shield as well as attack. All this for the purpose of making a new Double Black to face off against Fyodor's plans. Note that it is Atsushi with the claws - the weapon - and Akutagawa as the reinforcer and shield in their team ups.

So, is that it? He just wanted a powerful duo?

There's a little more to it. In the Heartless Cur, which describes their first meeting, we have this pivotal moment:

It's the question which runs through the entire series, and it's the question through which our characters all struggle with. What reason is there to live in a cruel world? How best to navigate it?

Dazai at this point doesn't have the faintest clue. It's blind leading the blind. Dazai says he can give him a reason while being unable to deliver in any reasonable way, but I don't think he was necessarily lying - not out of goodwill or anything like that, but because Dazai has always been invested in observing people's convictions to live and the reasons they come to. He's invested in the human struggle.

But at this point in his life, his attempts to warp and control Akutagawa are met with failure, because he does not impart any good reason to Akutagawa why he should value anything. Even though he recognized that a more patient approach like one Odasaku would take might work, he dismisses it for himself because "righteousness doesn't take" to him. Again, we see this ongoing commonality of people doing what they think is best for another while actually acting on their own biased viewpoints, as opposed to really seeing what is best for the person in their charge.

So, while the idea that Dazai wanted to help Akutagawa by putting him in contact with Atsushi is nice... I believe it is and has always been more strategic than anything. Moreover, Dazai has this weird moment of pettiness where he does the exact same thing to Akutagawa by comparing him with Odasaku.

It's not really "help" so much as it is "hey why don't you go interact with this person I know who values life, maybe you'll learn something"... instead of, you know, actually helping him find things to value. And Akutagawa's later interactions with Atsushi are a continuation of his initial plan to create a new powerful partnership - which is a strategic choice first and foremost. But it can't be overlooked that the only way sskk would work well together is if they come to understand each other - and that sort of necessarily involves them both coming to some kind of reason.

So, in carrying on with similar patterns from other dynamics, and in his intent for the duo, I do honestly think that Dazai wants Akutagawa to find his reason. As always, Dazai has multiple explanations for his actions, and honestly, I do think one such explanation is that Atsushi and Akutagawa would be able to help each other. I don't know that I would call this Dazai "helping", per se, but it is a form of investment.

[ovaruling]

i genuinely dont care abt the fight for men to be gnc bc so much of it still depends on femininity, a construct invented BY MEN to oppress women and limit us in every conceivable way—physiologically, financially, socially, psychologically. so much of it still depends on aesthetics, on visuals, on fashion, on appearance, on affectations and mannerisms and perceptions lifted (and often exaggerated) from usually the (male!!!!) media’s idea of the “well-performed woman.” it still depends on being perceived with some degree of “object” in mind. there is always still an aspect of submission or limitation in mind whenever and wherever Femininity is distinctly championed.

whereas—the fight for women to be gnc is literally the opposite. it’s the fight for us to just be. to not have to add anything where expected—makeup, jewelry, high heels, long nails, long hair, large breasts, multistep skincare routines, varying degrees of cosmetic procedures—or subtract it where society desires the subtraction—our body hair, our comfortable clothing, our attitudes, our skills, our strength, our fat stores, our appetites, our intelligence, our boundaries. it’s the fight for us to not have to drastically change our bodies or our posture/the way we sit or the pitches of our voices or even just down to the volume and pattern of our laughs. it’s the fight to exist as we are. to not have to sacrifice time, money, health, energy, effort, and agency in the expectation that we will obligingly wear our shackles and tell ourselves it looks hot idk. it’s the fight to not have to be our own obsessive compulsive voyeurs solely in order to perfect the inevitable future experience of being voyeured by others.

basically i just literally dont care abt men who think they are gods gift to rebellious activism by wearing something from the womens section of the store lol like i will not be drinking in encouragement of more femininity in any form on either sex. i care abt women being treated as people when they like. dare to interview for jobs without makeup

[mayor-david-prentiss]

it's literally a crime henry didn't get pulled into dancing in the nomad camp quest ending

[nugatorysheep]

Meeting between @gaudess-schmoddess's Bubble (vamp) and my guy Marrow (people eater) :)

Vampire and Cannibal in a room, what will they do

I really should post more sketches / WIPs. I keep telling myself I'll finish them first and then I dont and they sit on my hard drive for fucking ages lol

Oh also Marrow has a doc here + fat fucking dead dove warning for that

[kwistowee]

Well, they did the thing. 8 minutes into the first episode and they did the thing. I sobbed. And not because I'm heartbroken. I sobbed because I'm furious.

[high-voltage-rat]

My final late submission to the RvB OC Week, for day 6: relationships!

Ali and Kris, as members of the Reds and Blues respectively, end up forming really strong relationships with everyone in the blood gulch crew. What this means, practically speaking, is that they participate in a lot of shenaniganry throughout the course of the series.

To start, Ali and Kris are of course very close. The cousins grew up together, and then having been through so much together as adults- the glassing of their planet, their time as freelancers, and everything beyond... Their bond is probably the closest in their lives. During their tenure in blood gulch, even before the formation of a more amicable familiarity between the reds and blues, the cousins spent a lot of time together. They essentially have a relationship akin to siblings, full of playful bickering and teasing, but a very deep trust and understanding of one another.

(This is mostly a collection of some of my old (really, really old) doodles and drawings with some additions and edits thrown in. transcript as an antidote to poor handwriting beneath the cut, plus details on each relationship!)

Ali and Donut:

Ali, staring at red base's curtains: No, you're right actually. Chantilly lace was the move. Donut: O! M! G! Right? It adds so much more natural light!

Donut is probably Ali's best friend on the red team. At first, she found his bubbly demeanour a little exhausting, but quickly grew to appreciate his genuine nature and his spirited can-do attitude. It's a lesser known fact that Ali spent part of their childhood living on a farm- but it was definitely a bonding point between them. They'll sometimes just sit and complain about horses being idiots who try to self-destruct at the slightest provocation, or chickens having bloodthirsty rage within their hearts, or cows trying to kick you in the head while you try to help deliver their babies. Ali is also the only member of red team willing to engage with Donut's ideas for interior design and fashion- mainly because she considers it an important factor in everyone's morale, and eschews the military ideals of uniformity. They often encourage him to keep being his bright and individual self... which is much-needed among a team of party-poopers. Donut, in turn, tries to encourage Ali to be just as bold as him- especially important when their social anxiety gets the better of them.

Kris and Tucker:

Tucker: Hey, baby. Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. Kris, filling up a water gun: Tucker, I'm literally wearing my helmet.

Tucker is Kris' best friend on blue team, despite his incessant habit of practicing his shitty pickup lines on her (Kris actually finds it kind of charming, though she'd never admit it to him). They had a rocky start, with Tucker having a rigid idea of how he was "supposed to" interact with women that generally just made every conversation stupid and uncomfortable while he tried to perform masculinity. But with time, and a few serious and hard conversations about women being normal people, he relaxed, and they eventually managed to settle into a normal friendship- full of dirty jokes, lighthearted banter, and "fake" flirting. Never mind the fact that it feels kind of real. They're just friends. Normal friends. They just hang out, shoot the shit, play video games or take bets on the outcome of whatever new shenanigans are happening around them. Kris is the only one Tucker trusts to help braid his hair. And Kris was willing to be around the same species and culture of alien that had glassed her home planet, just to make sure Tucker was safe. Tucker made Kris the godmother of his child, she reciprocated by helping him learn some of that child's language (again, the language of a people who destroyed her home). When they were split up after Blood Gulch, Kris picked up saying 'bow chicka bow wow' to fill the space Tucker left. and it's all very, totally platonic.

Kris and Caboose

Freinds 4 Evr: Cris + Cabose

If Church wasn't Caboose's best friend, Kris would be next in line for the position. She's really well accustomed to the quirks of living with people who have working memory issues- Ali's ADHD has made sure of that, let alone her time in CANDIV- so she typically does her best to lend a hand when Caboose needs it, instituting a few memory aid systems around the base, and being patient when he has difficulty remembering and understanding things. She's also careful to treat him with respect and kindness, and encourage others to do the same- even if they don't often listen. In a lot of ways, Kris kind of feels like another big sister to him. He also really enjoys giving her piggybacks, and playing roadtrip games or singing songs together when they're travelling or waiting around for long periods of time. Kris also does art as a hobby, so Caboose will often sit and paint or draw alongside her, they'll chat about whatever is on their minds, and when they're done they'll hang their art in the base side by side.

Ali and the Director

Why the CANDIV Agents really rebelled from PFL: as told by Agent Alberta Ali: Director, this ship needs chicken nuggets ASAP. Director: Fuhk you, ayjunt.

Bafflingly, Ali was the CANDIV agent most often in charge of relations with the Director and Counsellor. Despite not being one of the team's leaders, she had both the ability to pick up on Vibes and nonverbal information, and to tolerate their weird and frankly irritating style of conducting themselves (the Counsellor's unbridled therapyspeak and the Director's bitchiness)... which tended to rub everyone else in CANDIV the wrong way. Not that it didn't, you know, also irritate her sometimes. The Director, for his part, just kind of wanted to study Ali like a bug, as he did all the freelancers.

Kris and Ali and Wash + Carolina

Carolina: How did Ali and Nova go so long undetected? They must be incredible at espionage to have fooled you. Wash, remembering: Uh huh, yep, totally! Past!Wash: You guys seem familiar... are you sure we haven't met? Past!Ali, wearing a shirt that says "NOT A FREELANCER": Past!Kris, wearing a shirt that says "REGULAR SIM-TROOPER": Certain! As you can see by our shirts, we are not freelancers! Past!Wash: Hard to argue with that logic!

As shown in my fic covering Season 6, Wash had no idea Ali and Kris were former freelancers, despite a brief feeling of familiarity when they first met. It helped, of course, that he had a lot on his plate, and the literal Alpha AI was there stealing the show. But at the end of Season 8, Ali and Karys finally revealed themselves when they offered him a chance to do the same as them- to fake his death, hide from the authorities, and take on a new sim trooper identity. The way they explained it to him, they were of the opinion that freelancers shouldn't be made to take the fall for the crimes the Director and Counsellor committed, or the things they had to do to survive the Project's bullshit. They helped coach him a bit on how to really sell it, acting like the dumbest of asses, and helped to set him at ease with the knowledge that it really could be over. Then Carolina showed up and was baffled by the three highly trained special ops agents playing capture the flag and recreationally bickering over which team had the superior kill count.

...they'll get her too, eventually. They just need to catch her first, which is hard because she's speedy.

Kris + Ali and Wash

Kris' Imagination!Ali, swooning: ooh wash~ Kris' Imagination!Wash: how are you bending like that Real!Ali: Kris I will literally kill you Real!Kris: No you won't <3

Ali has... a soft spot for Wash. Kris likes to tease them about it. They tease back about her "totally platonic" relationship with Tucker. You know, psychological warfare among cousins.

In truth, Ali and Wash are friends- beyond the whole "learning how to de-freelancer" thing they do with Kris, sometimes Wash just needs the opportunity to complain about the members of blue team, or Ali needs to complain about the members of red team, or they just "need" to practice shooting bottles off the side of a cliff. Sometimes Wash will let Ali infodump about whatever thing she's hyperfocused on in the moment. Sometimes they'll swap stories- usually the embarrassing ones. Both of them are socially awkward, but there's a comfort in both knowing the other person is awkward, too, and not judging you- and that makes it a bit easier. Whether or not they'd ever be more than friends isn't worth complicating matters.

Church + Kris and Ali

Ali, standing on top of red base: I think DOGS should VOTE! Church: Yo Kris! Your red buddy's being weird again!

Kris and Ali firmly hold that Church is a bit of a dick- but they've grown fond of him, anyway. Church, for his part, really finds the cousins weird and a little exasperating, much as he does every other member of the canyon- but he also has a weird sense of familiarity with them he can't seem to shake. He enjoys talking shit with Kris and Tucker, and finds Ali the second most tolerable member of red team after Grif. He also still doesn't really get why Ali hasn't converted to blue team considering how much she hangs around their base, but she sometimes brings snacks from Grif's stash and fixed Sheila with parts stolen from Sarge's stash for them a couple times, so he only complains a relatively normal amount. When they lived together in Outpost 48-A for a year, he spent a lot of time having awkward conversations with them, serving as an extra pair of hands while they worked on projects around the base, and being subjected to attempted shooting lessons from them to fix his terrible aim. He was, frankly, really ready for a break from them by the time Wash and Caboose showed up.

There's of course an underlying layer to the relationship here- Ali and Kris know that Church is the Alpha, they put it together very early on in their time in Blood Gulch. After discovering a little bit of what was done to make the fragments, the CANDIV freelancers definitely started to consider the Alpha as "one of them"- so the two decided to make it a priority to keep him safe and give him some semblance of freedom where possible.

Ali and Grif

Ali, slamming open the doors: Sarge wants us to start eating healthy! Grif, panicking: Oh, god, hide the snacks!

Ali and Grif have a strong solidarity in avoiding work at all costs- though their motivations are very different. They also have a shared love of snacks, and a desire to be as laid-back as possible. The problem comes in what can essentially be summed up as "Ali is messy, Grif is dirty". In this sense, they actually clash over the way the common space is- or isn't- maintained, which drives Simmons nuts because they're both filthy in his eyes. They'll cover for each other to try and help in the ever-present task of evading Sarge's orders, and they'll share their respective snack stashes- within reason. And occasionally, for brief periods of uncommon motivation, they'll have a war over high scores in whatever video game is in vogue for them. The score for Rainbow Road on the team's wii is still occasionally revisited to this day.

Simmons + Ali and Kris

Simmons, staring through the doorway: Ali, perched on top of the fridge, handing a bag of chips down to Kris standing on a step stool: <- red fucking handed

Quite frankly, Simmons doesn't understand how Sarge hasn't branded Ali as a traitor and given her a shotgun court-martial. He comes so close to reporting them every time they bring a blue into their base, and especially when they feed her Grif's snacks. But every time, he's given the excuse that Ali is "cementing their in with the enemy for better infiltration and deception"- and every time, it gives him just enough pause that he never says anything to any of the other reds. What if he's wrong? What if she really is gathering valuable intel? The blues clearly tolerate her hanging around their base, so she is actually in an excellent position to infiltrate them when it's needed most. It drives him nuts that she has a point, and it infuriates him to no end that she can use it as an excuse to get out of work, and Sarge still seems to think she's an excellent soldier. He secretly desires nothing more than to prove they're an incompetent phony compared to him.

Ali thinks Simmons is hilarious. They know he seethes about everything they do- and that he also thinks he's more competent than them. If ever he tries to trip them up or make them look like a fool, they'll sometimes let the sim trooper facade of idiocy fall just for him- just long enough to take anything he throws at them in stride. They're also the one who helped Sarge turn him into a part-cyborg, which just serves to make the beef that much funnier to them.

Ali + Kris and Kris' garden

Ali, carrying a cabbage, sprinting past a sign that says "GARDEN, KEEP OUT!": Kris, aiming a gun at them:

The garden Kris maintains out back of Blue Base is her pride and joy. Every time a member of blue team is eating a plant, Kris watches like a hawk to ensure seeds are saved and replanted- she has meticulously pulled every seed off an entire shipment of strawberries before allowing anyone to eat them. She's chewed Church out for ordering seedless grapes from command. The plants growing there are named, lovingly tended to each morning and evening, and ensure her ability to maintain a vegetarian diet. The plants are her babies.

Ali hangs around Blue Base so often at this point, the fighting is just a formality. In order to keep up the facade, at some point during every visit, Ali will attempt to steal a fruit or vegetable out of the garden, and Kris will attempt to stop them. Usually, it's somewhat tame- a minor heist that's easily thwarted, or a clean getaway after a suitable distraction. However, every once and a while it's instead akin to a fight for the flag, just with a carrot instead of a piece of coloured fabric. Kris has, in fact, shot Ali with live rounds over a cauliflower before. They had full shields, but still.

Kris and Lopez

Kris: So, they crashed the jeep again? Lopez: si. Kris: After you just fixed it? Lopez: si. Kris: That's messed up. Lopez: si.

Kris has a weirdly amicable relationship with Lopez. He likes her most out of everyone in the entire canyon- probably mostly because she doesn't pretend to know what he's saying, but doesn't ignore him, either... and she has a dry sense of humour he really appreciates. They kind of get along on a system of "si or no" whenever they interact.

Ali and Sarge

Sarge, pointing at a "Red Team Victory Scheme V.37.23" poster: Ali, I need you to- Ali, walking past: Sorry, sir, have to spy on the blues. Sarge: Huh. What a dedicated soldier.

Sarge genuinely thinks Ali is his best soldier, aside from Lopez. It helps that Ali, being from a military family, knows exactly how to "yes, and" military guys to make them think you're on their side, and whatever you've suggested is their idea. It also helps that she's teamed up with Kris to run the long con. While Sarge looks at Ali fondly, and holds her up as a shining example of red team loyalty, Ali is actively working to prevent the red team from ever making a successful combat move against the blues. She feeds just enough information that they constantly have to be changing their plans of attack, regularly claims the blues are "unexpectedly on patrol" to force them to abort a mission, and just generally manipulates things to avoid open conflict. Despite everything, though, she kind of looks at him like a vaguely annoying yet still beloved grandfather- and when they work together to rebuild Simmons as a cyborg, or create a robotic vessel for a "ghost", or just revamp the chupathingy... she can't help but be a little fond of the kooky old guy. Especially when she acknowledges that he, like the rest of them, is a victim of the military and Project Freelancer's manipulation and exploitation. She hopes that one day, she'll be able to get him to acknowledge that enough to be someone other than a rank.

Ali and Doc + O'Malley

Ali, with bloodstained hands and blood splatters on their armour, looking haunted: I've seen more of Tucker today than I ever wanted to. O'Malley, similarly bloodstained and fist-pumping: Muahaha! Excellent! We can exploit this weakness! Ali: O'Malley, if you find a way to weaponize Tucker in active labour, I will gladly surrender there and then.

Ali and Doc really don't know what to think of each other. They're both medically inclined- and sometimes they can have a good conversation about patient relations or wound care practices. But sometimes Doc says some truly ridiculous thing that highlights the fact that he very much failed medical school, and Ali really has to bite their tongue as they try to gently correct him. Doc, for his part, finds it a little annoying that Ali has to criticize so much- who's the qualified medic, here, after all?- but does appreciate the extra hand for the treatment he's doing when needed. After he was possessed by O'Malley, their weird half-amicable-coworkers, half-baffled-and-irritated dynamic kind of got cranked up even further. During periods when O'Malley kind of establishes himself as a minimal threat, Ali just kind of smiles and nods at his evil rants and makes polite conversation with him and Doc. Sometimes their dynamic turns into something resembling a spray bottle wielder and a cat- no threats of murder while we're delivering a baby, man, cut it out!

At the end of the day though- Doc is a pacifist medic in a war zone, even one as ridiculous as Blood Gulch, and Ali really respects that. And the fact that Ali doesn't actually fear O'Malley much has earned her his respect, and Doc's, in turn.

[voiceoftheskeptic]

something I think is interesting is how much paranoid is associated with the chant by stp fans

in actuality, doing the chant frustrates him. he does it because he's the only one who can, as demonstrated when hero completely mucks it up when he tries.

paranoid constantly tries to interject ideas he thinks could be helpful, but is pushed aside immediately back to doing the chant. and when you slay the nightmare, he gets relieved about no longer having to do it!

i just think it's interesting that both Hero and the fans kind of push paranoid into a role he doesn't like fulfilling, but he does it anyway because he has to. Hero really does feel like he speaks the point of an average player/fan sometimes, even unintentionally.