#and to have maternity leave

[sbnkalny]

The Doritos shall lead you right to vote, to hold public office, tO work, to earn fair wages or equal pay, to own lungs

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.

I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.

Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.

Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.

At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).

I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.

[weepingwitch]

us electoral politics is so pointless it's like

democrats: we're proud to introduce our new legislation that will guarantee all white women with master's degrees whose student debt value ends in a prime number and who are hufflepuffs get a minimum of two guaranteed days of maternity leave! to get bipartisan support we are also doubling the military budget

republicans: liberals want "woke" "birthing-persons" to MURDER the economy and Never Work Again in new Socialist Marxist plot

moderates: sometimes i think both sides are too extreme 🤔🤯

[jakeperalta]

thinking about how I've only been in full time employment for two years and I still have like forty years to go moodboard:

[risingmoonyue]

Clone wars AU where the chips never got activated. In the aftermath of Palpatine’s death, the troopers are so horrified by the thought of Order 66 that they go hole up in Kamino. The Jedi let them do it for a few weeks while they’re unfortunately too busy cleaning up the mess, but then they just,,,,, camp outside their front door. For months. The clones will not outstubborn them this time, no sir. They brought umbrellas, food, books, and lots and lots of tea. So much tea. Soon they’re having little mini festival days waiting for the clones to come out already. It is very confusing for the vode.

On one hand, order 66. Chips. Horror. Their life is even more of a lie, they don't want to hurt the jedi, they're ashamed of essentially being a Trojan horse to the Jedi.

On the other hand, apparently the jedi are all idiots who camp out in the ever pouring rain and are they building a mini temple on our front porch??????

[mychlapci]

getting prowl pregnant to take one cop off the streets. he's on maternity leave now.

[whentherewerebicycles]

.

[officialkarinuzumaki]

I am 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I think I deserve an impulse shopping spree for making it this far. Someone send me $200.

[xaveria]

i got a new retail job at Big Company for 15/hour and with insurance benefits and discounts etc and apparently the work culture at this particular location is really good so wish me luck everyone

[beeapocalypse]

[drdessertfox]

I made sourdough star bread!

[mariacallous]

People act like society and culture are geared towards families and kids when it's ridiculously not the case and honestly it would be better if it was.

[isekyaaa]

Omegaverse? Yes, I love the three genders. Alphas, omegas, and... *looks at the smudged writing on my hand*

beets

[littlespoonevan]

911 has never shocked me more than when it made me realise how aWFUL the us maternity leave system is when maddie was still in work at forty-two weeks pregnant and then back at work again a few weeks (a month??? two???) after she gave birth

[nuuralshams]

I believe the anger and annoyance my coworker ignited in me today deserves an entry in the books.

i.e a lil tumblr post with 0 notes

[waitmyturtles]

I am literally only on the first scene of Step By Step, episode 7, and I must, MUST ASK, AS AN AMERICAN MOM:

DOES THAILAND ALLOW FOR MATERNITY LEAVE….WHILE YOU’RE STILL PREGNANT???

AND: 180 DAYS? SIX MONTHS? SIX MONTHS OF LEAVE???

UMMMMMMMMMM?

GUESS WHO HAD HER BABIES IN THE WRONG COUNTRY.