#and unconditional love along with its consequences

[undiscovered-horizon]

[Although you reciprocate Sanji's affection, you're not quite ready to let yourself be vulnerable with someone. Love, however, is patient - and Sanji is nothing if not loving.]

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Ningyo Archipelago earned its name from a rather tragic local legend: about a boy who fell in love with a mermaid, ningyo, but he was deathly afraid of the water. He stood on the shore, making a small step towards the sea each day. And the mermaid patiently waited for him, promising that he had nothing to be afraid of because she was looking out for him. Now, depending on who you ask, some of the villagers claim that the mermaid is still waiting for her lover while others are convinced they have already united. You're not quite sure which version you prefer.

At first, the myth seemed a bit cliche to you - undying, unconditional, selfless love. It belongs in a fairytale, along with leprechauns and a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. After all, no reasonable human is deluded enough to throw away their life for a love that may be. If Hell is paved with good intentions, then empty promises decorate its gates.

But your dismissal of the local legend quickly dissipates as guilt and longing tighten your chest:

Sanji.

You tried to keep him out at first, out of mercy for your own patchwork heart. Told yourself that each of his sweet words and skilfully crafted compliments were a consequence of his persona and not intimate feelings. But no matter how warily you guarded your heart, he still managed to find a way in. Some juvenile, innocent part of you wanted to welcome his affection with open arms, scream at the top of your lungs that you yearn for him in equal measure as he longs for you. However, the other aspect of you, the one that remembers the horrors you've seen and still feels the dread lingering under your skin after... well, everything - that part begs you to keep your feelings at bay or get a grip on yourself and quit this nonsense. What if you open up to Sanji and he finds you gruesome? Will he see your torn heart only to think its baggage too heavy? Or if... the history repeats itself.

No. Never. You can't let it happen again.

But then, you also can't live like this, hidden within yourself forever. You don't want to. Time goes on, yet you're stuck in place.

This fight with your own mind and soul has brought you to this quiet evening by the campfire. Archipelago's natives are most hospitable people, rejoicing at the handful of guests that have come to their shores. A night filled with delicacies, local moonshine, dances you knew no steps of. It all made for a heartfelt, happy celebration. Hours went by, soon energy dissipated and intoxication kicked in. One by one, both your friends and the natives fell asleep.

The last people standing are, as if fortune smiled down on the island, Sanji and you. He's sitting on the ground, back leaning against a log as he stares at the fire, thinking about something. Once in a while, he takes a sip of his drink. The light of untamted, yellow flames waltz across his face. Staring at him from afar, you wonder whether his hair would smell of campfire smoke if you snuggled to his side. Would the colour of his eyes turn closer to indigo in the darkness of the night?

You shake your head slightly. If you want to finally have this much-belated conversation with him, you need to think straight. You can fantasize about Sanji after he gives you a positive answer.

A playful smile enters Sanji's face when he notices you approaching. "Am I drunk or is that really an angel coming my way?" Despite the amount of alcohol he's consumed, he doesn't slur his words.

"More of a Devil's consort," you answer as you sit down next to him on the ground. Thankfully, your half-serious comment covers well your tension.

It's almost self-sabotage on your part that you sat a mere inch away from him. Something about his presence scrambles your thoughts, turning carefully prepared monologue into disjointed daydreams about the man next to you.

"You can lead me astray if you want," Sanji retorts in a low voice. If only he knew how much you'd love to.

Your breath hitches in your throat as your chest tightens further. Some primal fear residing in your bones tells you to run away, to discard the love you think you're feeling and stay in your safe, alienated shell. So what if he may be the best thing that has ever happened to you if this heartache he's bound to leave will surely be the final nail in your coffin.

"Right, about leading you..." you begin in a trembling voice.

The fear makes it hard to breathe, which doesn't escape Sanji's attention.

"What's going on, sweetheart?" he asks in a soft, concerned voice as his hand gently lays on top of yours.

You clench your other hand into a fist. The only way out of this situation is through and you're not sure if your both brave and strong enough to make the journey. Your fingernails will surely leave marks on the soft skin on the inside of you palm.

"I'm not oblivious to your advances, Sanji," you finally blurt out. The bluntness of your tone is a little too harsh than you wanted. "You're quite up-front about your feelings. And I..." you hang your voice. The words simply refuse to come out of your mouth as though a witch had put a curse on you.

"No, I get it," he nods along. Sanji's expression falls like he's about to crumble. He clenches his jaw before forcefully making himself continue in a sombre tone. "You don't like me in the same way. It's fine, really. I might die of a broken heart first but I'll be fine."

Dear Gods above and below, this is going way worse than your "What can go wrong?" scenario.

"It's not that, Sanji!" you exclaim suddenly. Equally quick you mumble an apology upon seeing Sanji's startled expression. Then, he furrows his eyebrows further, growing even more worried about you. The adoration and pain in his eyes break something in you. It's as if your consciousness has taken a step back and allowed a flood of words to spill out of your mouth. "I wish I could find the words to express how much you mean to me. That you're the only thing on my mind, day and night. But I've been through shit you don't even know about and I just... I think I need some time before we can act on our feelings."

We.

What a nice word. To be part of a union with another; to belong to someone. To never truly be alone.

The worry disappears from his beautiful, blue eyes. In turn, their expression becomes softer than you've ever seen. Sanji moves the hand that lay on top of yours to intertwine your fingers.

"I'll wait for you," he says casually, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Although you did consider this as a possible outcome, you never actually believed he'd say that. You weren't prepared for someone to be selfless towards you. It's never happened before.

"You don't have to," you try to dismiss him. Everything will be easier, but not better, if he changes his mind. "The world is filled with amazing people, I'm sure there's someone else who will love you better."

"I've already found the one I had been looking for, sweetheart," he answers slowly. Sanji brings your hand up to his lips and places a fleeting, chaste kiss on your skin. The softness of it all makes you want to cry and claw your own heart out. Why does it feel so good and so frightening at the same time?

"I don't know how long it will take me to get comfortable and open up." Your throat is too tight to speak comfortably. Tears pool in your eyes. "To be vulnerable with you."

"I will wait for you for an eternity if I have to. Whatever you need, just ask, little love."

Why does he have to love you beyond reason? Why is it so easy for him to break down your walls?

"I'm not sure I'm worth all this trouble," you whisper your confession into the silence of the night.

"Don't ever think you're a burden," he reprimands you. "You deserve only the best and I will be the happiest man alive if you let me be the one to provide. I love you more than you can imagine. I want to spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

Having no strength to hold back, you burst into tears. Is it the relief that he's willing to put up with your fears? Or maybe the happiness that he still chooses to love you? It's hard to say. Your vision is blurry as tears roll down your cheeks. No matter how much you try to control yourself, you can't.

Sanji gently wipes away your tears. His gesture is almost fearful as though the worst thing he could do is force his affection too fast for your comfort. What if he hurts you? In Sanji's mind, there's no greater sin he could commit.

"Can I hold you?" he whispers his question.

"Yes, please," you manage to babble between sniffles.

He puts his hand under your knees and effortlessly places you across his lap. Sanji's arms wrap tightly around your quivering body. His hold feels like a sanctuary.

"Thank you for telling me," he says quietly against your hair. "It was very brave of you."

You don't answer, only further nuzzling into his shoulder. Huh... He does smell of campfire smoke.

[akariamai]

All Because I Liked a Boy

Pairing: Ahn Su-ho x OC

Word Count: 1295

Ji-woo wished she could've stopped it all from happening. She wanted nothing more than to not be sitting down in one of the most uncomfortable chairs inside an all too familiar bare room. Her mind raced with different scenarios, of moments she could've tweaked, of decisions she should've made.

All she could do now was watch the love of her life take in breath after breath; a clear mask covering half his face with a feeding tube stuck down his throat. The machinery tethered to his slumbering body was blaring. Its echo bounced against the walls and reached her ears. Every sound was a reminder of the life and death battle Su-ho was in.

Su-ho couldn't wake up. He was stuck in the crevices of his mind and it was all her fault. If only she had stayed away; ignored the thumping of her heart whenever he was near. She should've followed her instincts and avoided love like the plague.

Growing up, love has always been described as magical, it was intertwined in the pages of storybooks, in the screenings of motion pictures. She and many others were convinced romance and love were the closest feeling in the world to magic, but what they failed to mention was that it was also chaotic, unpredictable, and detrimental.

Life wasn't a fairy tale and many didn't get their happily ever after. Love would leave people in shambles; leave them to pick up their fragmented heart.

She should have known better. She never had the best examples of love. Why did she think it'd end differently for her? She wasn't special. Love just wasn't in the cards for her.

Her mother never had the best time when chasing love. She loved the idea of love and fell like it was her first time all over again. The men who her mother adored were only there for the sprints of unconditional devotion. They didn't want permanent attachments, but she still loved them like there was not tomorrow. Her heart would shatter every time to where it no longer held together by its own, but with deteriorating masking tape.

Before Su-ho, Ji-woo had promised herself to never fall in love with anyone. It was a vow she swore to keep by any means necessary, but love had a funny way of creeping in the shadows until a moment presented itself to pounce.

Ji-woo absorbed the numbing repetition of the machinery as her mind wandered to the one instance that led to all of this mayhem. I liked you before him. Why didn't you give me a chance? I would've treated you better than him! Rejection. She had rejected the wrong person.

She didn't know when the pin dropped; what steps she mistakenly took. Had she been unconsciously flirting with Beom-seok? When had she given him the wrong idea? Whatever she had done came with consequences.

Ramifications that would linger for all involved, either directly or indirectly, and poor Si-eun was caught in the aftereffects. How could she dare look at him anymore without the accumulating guilt gripping her very being.

Su-ho deserved better. He didn't need her stumbling into his life and wrecking it apart. The worst part is she hadn't meant to, but somehow she still did.

She was worse than her mother. Her mother never put anyone in the hospital. She hadn't led anyone to their downfall. Ji-woo had and now she had to live through the agonizing shame that came with it.

Oh how desperately she wanted to reach over to hold his hand, but it wouldn't be his warmth. She didn't deserve to touch him. She ruined him. She doomed the friendships he made.

Su-ho barely had time for friends. He worked a lot, slept at school, helped his grandma any chance he could, but somewhere along the way Si-eun and Beom-seok crept into his life.

They'd all hung out a couple of times; Si-eun more so than Beom-seok. Su-ho would never tell her much. Just that they had a falling out.

It was only when Beom-seok sought her out when she knew she was the problem. She was always the problem. He confessed his undying love for her and she rejected him as kindly as she could. She had a boyfriend who she loved dearly, yet she never once got the courage to speak it out loud for only his ears to pick up.

Beom-seok exploded. He ranted and raved he would be the better pick. How he would treat her better than Su-ho ever could. He treats you like his arm piece. He doesn't love you. With me, you'll be prized. Gifted with only the things you truly deserve. How can you not see that? He's just using you!

But his words meant nothing to her. Su-ho cared vastly. She knew it through the way he took his time dismantling the walls she set up long before she knew him. He took the time to remember her favorite drink and would always give her one. He poured all his emotions into the little things that people often ignored and forgot.

Su-ho understood she loved her space and despised feeling contained so he integrated himself in a way that wasn't forceful or unwanted. He made her feel love wasn't all that bad.

She ignored Beom-seok's confession. She was in a blissful relationship. She wasn't about to throw away the only person who ever made her feel safe to be in love with and certainty not with someone who was one of their best friends. The thought itself was unfathomable and in her disbelief she failed to see the utter resentment in his eyes once Beom-seok failed to sway her.

Beom-seok's loathing towards Su-ho became physical quickly afterwards, but Su-ho would choose to keep her in the dark. He would brush off her concerns when she noticed him limping.

"I just needed to replace the brake pads." He'd say knowing she knew absolutely nothing about the mechanics on his bike before changing the topic.

In fact, she only found out this morning that someone had intentionally cut the breaks when she went to pick up his bike from the mechanic.

She observed Su-ho, "Why didn't you tell me the truth?"

He couldn't answer, but she could imagine the words he'd say, "I didn't want you to worry" or "I didn't want you to fight my battles for me."

Ji-woo did have the tendency for confrontation. After receiving the life shattering phone call from Yeong-i, she knew who was responsible for Su-ho's condition.

She ambushed him and his adoptive father as they were leaving. "How the fuck could you do that to him! He was your friend you fucker."

She was immediately stopped by his father's bodyguards. She remembered how his adoptive father looked at her like she was another inconvenience.

"Fix it." He ordered Beom-seok before entering the car awaiting him.

Beom-seok waited until his adoptive father shut the car door before instantly berating her. "All of this is your fault. You should've chosen me, not him. Look at what you've done. He's that way because of you."

Her heart splintered at the thought that she could've prevented Su-ho and his grandmother from unnecessary suffering. Had she just stayed away, would Su-ho still be in a coma? Her mind disagreed, but her heart stayed tethered to replaying different circumstances to change the ending.

If she had just followed her solemn vow Su-ho would not be stuck in the hospital. He would be awake and happy because Ji-woo would be nothing more than a measly crush that never went anywhere. He would have never been betrayed by one of the people closest to him.

She only brought misfortune and now Su-ho atoned for her misdeeds.

Main Masterlist

[simpingforblackfire]

JackieShauna Undercover Police AU:

Shauna is a detective, whose working undercover; trying to protect a businessman Jeff, who had an assassination attempt on him. Jackie is his ex-wife. Shauna realises slowly that she's in deep shit.

Headcannons for this au:

Jeff is nice. He's just a boyfailure.

Shauna is a girlfailure, whose just good at violence.

Shauna is going through it and it's consistently her fault every time, like she is getting herself into consequences and paying the consequences every time.

Shauna scares people with her unhingedness.

Jackie's more into it than she'd like to admit.

Lottielee and MistyNat and TravNat background.

Coach Ben is Shauna's boss. He's trying his best. Shauna is unnecessarily mean to him to Natalie's disapproval.

Coach Ben and his unsolicited advice and Shauna is mean to him.

Coach Ben loves his man. He just wants to vibe in his own world.

Jackie is kind. She just doesn't understand Shauna at all.

Jeff and Jackie get along, despite Jeff's previous immaturity and infidelity.

Shauna and Jackie

Jeff crushes on Shauna. Shauna is disturbed by him and only indulges in him, because she craves Jackie deeply.

Jackie finds out Shauna likes girls because of hatgirl and Shauna.

Jackie is jealous. Jackie still thinks Shauna and Jeff are together.

Shauna impulsively kisses Jackie.

Jackie doesn't want to hurt Jeff, because despite everything he's done its not in Jackie's nature to be cruel like that.

Shauna misunderstands Jackie's rejection of her severely; thinking Jackie would never love her.

Shauna is convinced its all unrequited with Jackie.

It is not.

Eventually Jackie finds out the truth.....Eventually.

Jackie's waiting on Shauna to come clean and tell her how she really feels because Shauna never explains anything to Jackie and gives her mixed signals.

Jackie is misunderstood and mischaracterized by everyone and Shauna realises this more and more. She wanted to believe Jackie was a mean girl, but Jackie never was.

Shauna standing up for Jackie.

Shauna was kinder in the past before she was hardened by life.

Jackie doesn't understand Shauna and her brooding, but she loves her.

Shauna and Javi have more of a step-mum, step-son sort of vibe, but she's def parental either way.

Jackie and Shauna 

Shauna can't catch a break but it's her own fault everytime.

Jackie loves her anyway but only accepts Shauna into her life properly once Shauna gets her sit together, because love can be unconditional but boundaries aren't.

[cheeekycharchar]

"Shame and guilt have followed humanity since Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden."

Good Omens; a story of an Angel that can't accept love because of shame and a Demon that can't accept forgiveness because of guilt.

"It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one."

An in-depth analysis of an Angel suffering from shame and a Demon wracked with guilt.

Let's dive deeper below the cut!

[Now I'm going to lay down a lot of facts, definitions and minimal psychological babble and I want you, as the reader, to view this through your GO nerd glasses. Also, I want to express that I am not a therapist or religious in any way- this was all done as academic research for the fandom's sake cause I can't shut my brain up. I tried to organize it the best I could. ..sorry it's so long but I swear it's worth the read through! ;)]

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• Shame is the painful emotion you have when you perceive that you are not good enough in some way. Entirely self imposed and only known to you, shame can be an unpleasant self-conscious feeling often associated with negative self-evaluation. When shame is chronic, it makes you believe that you are fundamentally flawed, defective, dishonorable, immoral, or improper.

• Guilt is a negative feeling of worry or unhappiness that you get because you have done something wrong. It's a moral emotion that occurs when a person believes or realizes- accurately or not- that they have compromised their own standards of conduct or have violated universal moral standards and bear significant responsibility for it. When guilt is chronic, it can be a toxic emotion that could cause a person to take on unjust responsibility if things around them go wrong. They are quick to accept that everything is their fault even though it isn't.

While guilt is about wrong actions, shame is about being wrong as a person.

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In academic psychology, shame is associated with avoiding failure and its consequences while guilt is connected with forgiving and improving one's self, along with making amends.

Guilt and Shame are often confused for each other but there’s a big difference between the two. Guilt can help you understand how your actions impact others, but shame is an inward-facing emotion that reflects how you feel about yourself. (And I do realize that Aziraphale may, at times, feel guilt and Crowley can also feel a sense of shame. But the main motivation behind majority of their characterizations and actions throughout the series are both coming from these two different feelings.)

Guilt can help you move forward while shame keeps you stuck in the past. [such as the "We could have been.. us." and "You go too fast for me." scenes] And the only way to rid themselves of these negative emotions is through recovery with unconditional love and forgiveness.

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• How Aziraphale represents the concept of shame •

Shame tricks you into believing that you aren't good. That you are worthless. Not that you've done something bad, but that you are bad. Ever since Aziraphale gave away his flaming sword, he started to question himself. But it wasn't until he outright lies to his fellow Angel's about the true fate of Job's children that he truly believes he has fallen- that he violated God's word and lied (again). He believes there must be something truly wrong with who he is as an Angel. He's a flawed creation of God and he feels a dreaded sense of deep shame from this.

Feelings of shame can also present itself in different types such as, Chronic Shame (negative emotions all the time that you aren't good enough), Performance Shame (feeling as though you are inferior compared to others) and Shame from Unrequited Love (this is a feeling of not being good enough for another person T^T).

Shame is a harmful, negative emotion that when internalized enough can result in an overly harsh evaluation of oneself.

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Next, let's take a closer look at what defines shame and how it operates through Aziraphale:

• Being Defensive is a way to avoid taking responsibility for our behavior.

"I don't need you." "And the feeling is mutual!"

• Perfectionism is the unrealistic desire to be perfect and is often a defense against shame. If we’re perfect, no one can criticize us; no one can shame us. We keep up a front that looks good to the world. We may spend a lot of time attending to our dress and looks.

"I do have standards."

• Apologizing constantly. Shame can prompt us to be overly apologetic and compliant.

"I did the 'I was wrong' dance in…"

• Procrastination can occur from a deep hidden shame. If we consider pursuing something and it doesn’t turn out well, we might be paralyzed by that feeling. If we never try, then we don’t have to face possible failure and subsequent shame.

"You go too fast for me, Crowley.."

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Next are the four category behaviors resulting from shame:

• The Hot Response These are things you do when you feel ashamed and defensive, such as lashing out in anger or attacking the other person to deflect attention from yourself.

"I don't even like you!" [always resorts to being defensive in any argument]

• Behaviors to Cope With or Conceal the Shame These behaviors include doing things to make yourself feel small, trying to avoid being the center of attention, or not sharing your thoughts or feelings. Concealing yourself is a method of self-protection.

[always awkward and can't speak openly around other Angels]

• Safety Behaviors to Avoid Shame or Being Discovered This category of shame behaviors might be things like apologizing, crying, or avoiding conflict. People who have a tendency toward being emotional or avoiding conflict may be more likely to engage in safety behaviors.

"Why? What's wrong? I mean.. if there is something wrong.."

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The Impact of Feeling Shame:

• Makes you feel like you are flawed or there is something wrong with you

"I'm like you now. A demon. I'm a fallen angel.." • Can lead to social withdrawal

[spends most of his time in the bookshop alone] • May cause you to become defensive and shame others in return "I'm an angel! And you're a demon!" • May cause you to inflate your ego to hide the belief that you don’t have value

"Well, I am a great deal holier than thou. That's the whole point." • May leave you feeling empty, lonely, or worn out

"But I thought you said it wasn't [lonely]?" • May lead to lowered self-esteem

"I'm.. soft." • May make it harder for you to trust other people

"Obviously, you're lying. You're a demon. That's what you do." • May lead to perfectionism or overachievement to try and counteract your feelings of shame

"If I can just reach the right people and resolve all of this-" "That's not going to happen! How could somebody as clever as you be so stupid!?" • May cause you to engage in people pleasing

"Doing good again, Angel? "Oh, hardly counts. Purely for selfish reasons." • May cause you to avoid talking because you are afraid to say the wrong thing

[trying to explain to Metatron in S1 without revealing too much] • May cause compulsive or excessive behaviors like overworking, excessive cleaning, or having too high of standards in general

[non stop research all day and night to look for the antichrist by himself]

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• How Crowley represents the concept of guilt •

Guilt is what you feel after committing a specified or perceived offence/crime/bad action.  It's typically attached to a feeling you experience when you do something wrong on purpose or accidentally and can regret that action. Guilt can be morally ambiguous.

"Well, maybe there is something to be said for.. shades of grey?" "..Shades of dark grey."

Signs of guilt are unique but these are the most common (again there are many but these I thought related to Crowley the best):

• Low self-esteem

*sighs* "Don't bother..."

• Excessive attempts at reparation [Crowley always trying to secretly help humanity when he can]

• Being unable to meet someone’s gaze

[Covering his eyes not only hides his snake eyes but also his guilty feelings]

• Anxiety "We are fucked!" [and we all know TV!Crowley is 100% more anxiety ridden than Book!Crowley is lol]

• Trouble sleeping [Sleeps too long (100 year nap from book). Or can't get comfortable sleeping (from S1 deleted scene)]

• Depressed mood

"What's even the point.. everything seems.. pointless.."

• Avoidance of people, places, or events linked to the cause of guilt "I'm not going to be joining their team and neither should you!" [doesn't want to return to Heaven or Hell and is "on his own side" to avoid them further] • Shifts in energy levels [can be giddy/jumpy one second to morose/moody the next, etc]

• Emotional outbursts

"I'm just so angry!"

• Appetite changes

[took up drinking alcohol even though its unnatural to]

• Making amends [spends every moment since Eden trying to secretly do good despite the hellish consequences]

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Defense mechanisms against feeling guilty can become an overriding aspect of one's personality. (These are also related to trauma response.)

• Displacement is a defensive tool that may take the form of blaming the victim or taking your feelings out on others.

"You know what you've done. You've disappointed me."

• Projection is sharing the unacceptable feelings/qualities onto others, thereby being less alone with it.

"But that sounds.." "Lonely?"

• Self-harm may be used as an alternative to compensating from one's past transgression. Not just physical self-harm but not allowing yourself to enjoy opportunities or benefits as a result of uncompensated guilty feelings.

[always holding himself back for 6k years from saying what he truly feels and won't allow himself to be with Aziraphale the way he really wants]

• Repression is subconsciously blocking or forgetting harmful/traumatic memories. "Right.. looking at where the furniture isn't.." [doesn't remember his time in Heaven in detail- whether from trauma response or just had his memory wiped]

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Behavioral responses to guilt can be associated with the moral of their character. Feelings of guilt can prompt virtuous behavior.

"You shouldn't test them to destruction.."

People who feel guilty may be more likely to: • Exercise restraint [holds his true feelings back for Aziraphale for centuries]

• Avoid self-indulgence [only really has his car and plants in the end]

• Exhibit less prejudice [is more open and accepting of other's sins - such as helping during the Scottish bodysnatching scenes]

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Guilt can prompt reparatory behaviors (actions to make amends) to help alleviate these negative emotions. People tend to engage in these reparatory behaviors toward the persons they wronged. Some religions theorize that forgiveness of sin (even those committed by accident or ignorance) is exclusively through repentance.

Crowley, being the wily serpent that tempted Eve to eat the forbidden apple of knowledge and subsequently getting her and Adam kicked out of paradise on Earth- and thusly creating the first sin of humanity. Right away, Crowley feels guilt from this.

After all, he was just told to stir up some trouble and had no idea the consequences of his first temptation on the future generations of human existence. Ignorantly doing something considered wrong and getting exiled.. this mistake would forever haunt him. He knows the pain and trauma from unwittingly doing something insignificant and being punished severely for it (such as asking questions or eating an apple) yet he accidentally made the first of God's new creatures "fall" in their own way from Eden. It's because of this guilt that Crowley spends the next 6000 years secretly rebelling against Hell to help humanity in any way he can to redeem himself.

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That's why their first conversation (post Fall from Heaven) on the wall of Eden was SO important to their relationship with each other and themselves.

"Oh, I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing." "It'd be funny if we both got it wrong. If I did the good thing and you did the bad one." "No. No! It wouldn't be funny at all!"

I think the reason Crowley always seems to be one step ahead of Aziraphale (in more ways than one) is because, in a sense, guilt is easier to resolve from than shame.

If you acknowledge your mistake and the person chooses to take the steps to improve and change for the better, then they can recover from those negative feelings. They can work through the guilt by repairing the transgression or learning from it.

Whereas shame can only intensify inwardly and be harder to face because your mind is telling you that you are the bad thing, that you are the mistake. This makes it harder to overcome. And the only way to truly recover from shame is unconditional love and forgiveness- for yourself.

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“Instead of your shame, you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion, they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land, they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.” (Isaiah 61:7)

And in S2.. we can see they both hold regret for their actions at the end of episode 6. If you look at every choice, ever misstep, every argument and their occasional confusion in understanding one another, you can see how Aziraphale was written with shame as a main part of his personality and Crowley written with guilt.

Two feelings that are often confused for one another but differ slightly in their own ways. The motivation behind every word they utter and every action they make throughout the series is built on the foundation of these two fundamentally negative and often traumatizing feelings.

There is a possibility to recover from shame and guilt and I have a feeling that S3's plot line will be all about recovery.

And that's what the concept of that Second Coming storyline might be all about. The New Testament says, "In Jesus Christ, God took upon Himself the sins of the world and died on the cross to pay mankind's debt" (Rom 6:23). "Those who repent and accept Christ's sacrifice for their sins, will be redeemed by God and thus not guilty before Him. They will be granted eternal life which will take effect after the Second Coming of Christ" (1 Thess 4:13–18).

A second chance. Forgiveness and Recovery from Sin.

And what is the story of Adam and Eve if not about humanity's Original Sin?

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Remember, after all is said and done, the antidote for shame is love, and guilt is cured through forgiveness.

Two things a certain Angel and Demon struggle with accepting from each other but are more than willing to give to one another.

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[…There! I made myself sad again, lol. Thank you for reading this far! Sorry it was crazy long but I really enjoyed putting this all together into semi-comprehensible words (though stupid tumblr made me delete a bunch of pictures I had as examples…). Also, on a final side note- if you are ever experiencing overwhelming shame or guilt in anyway (which can result in depression or worse if not dealt with) please make sure you reach out to someone or seek professional help in some way. Take care, everyone! ^-^]

[thecatholiccorner]

Pope Leo XIV's homily during his Inaugural Mass (May 18, 2025)

Dear brother cardinals, brother bishops and priests, distinguished authorities and members of the diplomatic corps, brothers and sisters -- I greet all of you with a heart full of gratitude at the beginning of the ministry that has been entrusted to me. St. Augustine wrote: "Lord, you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you" (Confessions, I: 1,1).

In these days, we have experienced intense emotions. The death of Pope Francis filled our hearts with sadness. In those difficult hours, we felt like the crowds that the Gospel says were "like sheep without a shepherd" (Mt 9:36). Yet on Easter Sunday, we received his final blessing and, in the light of the resurrection, we experienced the days that followed in the certainty that the Lord never abandons his people, but gathers them when they are scattered and guards them "as a shepherd guards his flock" (Jer 31:10).

In this spirit of faith, the College of Cardinals met for the conclave. Coming from different backgrounds and experiences, we placed in God's hands our desire to elect the new Successor of Peter, the bishop of Rome, a shepherd capable of preserving the rich heritage of the Christian faith and, at the same time, looking to the future, in order to confront the questions, concerns and challenges of today's world. Accompanied by your prayers, we could feel the working of the Holy Spirit, who was able to bring us into harmony, like musical instruments, so that our heartstrings could vibrate in a single melody.

I was chosen, without any merit of my own, and now, with fear and trembling, I come to you as a brother, who desires to be the servant of your faith and your joy, walking with you on the path of God's love, for he wants us all to be united in one family. Love and unity: these are the two dimensions of the mission entrusted to Peter by Jesus.

We see this in today's Gospel, which takes us to the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus began the mission he received from the Father: to be a "fisher" of humanity in order to draw it up from the waters of evil and death. Walking along the shore, he had called Peter and the other first disciples to be, like him, "fishers of men." Now, after the resurrection, it is up to them to carry on this mission, to cast their nets again and again, to bring the hope of the Gospel into the "waters" of the world, to sail the seas of life so that all may experience God's embrace.

How can Peter carry out this task? The Gospel tells us that it is possible only because his own life was touched by the infinite and unconditional love of God, even in the hour of his failure and denial. For this reason, when Jesus addresses Peter, the Gospel uses the Greek verb agapáo, which refers to the love that God has for us, to the offering of himself without reserve and without calculation. Whereas the verb used in Peter's response describes the love of friendship that we have for one another.

Consequently, when Jesus asks Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" (Jn 21:16), he is referring to the love of the Father. It is as if Jesus said to him, "Only if you have known and experienced this love of God, which never fails, will you be able to feed my lambs. Only in the love of God the Father will you be able to love your brothers and sisters with that same 'more,' that is, by offering your life for your brothers and sisters."

Peter is thus entrusted with the task of "loving more" and giving his life for the flock. The ministry of Peter is distinguished precisely by this self-sacrificing love, because the Church of Rome presides in charity and its true authority is the charity of Christ. It is never a question of capturing others by force, by religious propaganda or by means of power. Instead, it is always and only a question of loving as Jesus did.

The Apostle Peter himself tells us that Jesus "is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, and has become the cornerstone" (Acts 4:11). Moreover, if the rock is Christ, Peter must shepherd the flock without ever yielding to the temptation to be an autocrat, lording it over those entrusted to him (cf. 1 Pet 5:3). On the contrary, he is called to serve the faith of his brothers and sisters, and to walk alongside them, for all of us are "living stones" (1 Pet 2:5), called through our baptism to build God's house in fraternal communion, in the harmony of the Spirit, in the coexistence of diversity. In the words of St. Augustine: "The Church consists of all those who are in harmony with their brothers and sisters and who love their neighbor" (Serm. 359,9).

Brothers and sisters, I would like that our first great desire be for a united Church, a sign of unity and communion, which becomes a leaven for a reconciled world. In this our time, we still see too much discord, too many wounds caused by hatred, violence, prejudice, the fear of difference, and an economic paradigm that exploits the Earth's resources and marginalizes the poorest. For our part, we want to be a small leaven of unity, communion and fraternity within the world. We want to say to the world, with humility and joy: Look to Christ! Come closer to him! Welcome his word that enlightens and consoles! Listen to his offer of love and become his one family: in the one Christ, we are one. This is the path to follow together, among ourselves but also with our sister Christian churches, with those who follow other religious paths, with those who are searching for God, with all women and men of good will, in order to build a new world where peace reigns!

This is the missionary spirit that must animate us; not closing ourselves off in our small groups, nor feeling superior to the world. We are called to offer God's love to everyone, in order to achieve that unity which does not cancel out differences but values the personal history of each person and the social and religious culture of every people.

Brothers and sisters, this is the hour for love! The heart of the Gospel is the love of God that makes us brothers and sisters. With my predecessor Leo XIII, we can ask ourselves today: If this criterion "were to prevail in the world, would not every conflict cease and peace return?" (Rerum Novarum, 21).

With the light and the strength of the Holy Spirit, let us build a Church founded on God's love, a sign of unity, a missionary Church that opens its arms to the world, proclaims the Word, allows itself to be made "restless" by history, and becomes a leaven of harmony for humanity.

Together, as one people, as brothers and sisters, let us walk towards God and love one another.

[vindieselsfacebook-blog]

I've been very into Alvvays lately and wanted to share this gem aka THEE Lorelai Gilmore teen anthem!

Can't explain my ankle sprain I didn't really feel it New dress could turn your head But how long til we reel it in? Paradise and I find myself paralyzed Knowing all too well

The song describes a young woman making impulsive decisions with a man they've gotten carried away with. It paints a picture of a very Lorelai and Christopher kind of relationship where the girl enjoys the freedom, impulse, attention and sense of a private, escapist world with this person before reality comes crashing down around them. It's a relationship with a set timer, ticking along until its inevitable conclusion.

I love the line about not even feeling your ankle sprain - running around having fun, being silly, and causing little consequences for yourself, but they're ignorable or very low-stakes. At least at first. It feels so apt for teen Lorelai, who was rebelling from her controlling upbringing and beginning to mess around with alcohol and sex. Youthful cries for attention and unconditional love.

Blue Rev behind the rink, I didn't really need it Circumspect when you call collect To see if I would keep it Paradise and I find myself paralyzed Knowing all too well, terrified But I'll find my way

"Blue Rev" is a low brow vodka-based cola drink - think Zima. Reckless teens underage drinking behind a skating rink, confronting the reality of a pregnancy and the girl's decision to take control of the situation. The boy's reaction described as "circumspect" or wary, unwilling to take the risk while the girl takes it as an opportunity to find her own way, even though she's scared - sooo Christopher and Lorelai. He enjoys fucking around but ultimately prefers the gilded cage to the unknown on the other side.

Moving to the country Gonna have that baby Wait tables in town I know word gets around Moving to the country Gonna have this baby See how it goes See how it grows And I find myself paralyzed Knowing all too well, terrified But I'll find my way

One of my favorite themes in Gilmore Girls is how Lorelai took this classic ball-and-chain, life-ending symbol of an accidental teen pregnancy and saw it as a chance to strike out on her own, burn her life to the ground, and completely rebuild from scratch. Fans sometimes wonder why no one on this show ever seemed to seriously consider abortion (stubbornly ignoring that this was early 2000s WB and simply not an option unless it was for a total villain), especially for Lorelai who seemed so liberal, but she loved having this excuse to finally cut her own cord. It was an opportunity for her rather than a metaphorical death sentence.

"Moving to the country" with a blue-collar service job where you work with your hands... word getting around a gossipy small town... come on! Too good.

I'll egress to Inverness with nothing in my pocket Belinda says that heaven is a place on earth Well so is hell And we'll all get help, paradise And we'll start another life

The cherry on top is of course the titular reference to Belinda Carlisle - lead singer of the Go-Go's, one of Lorelai's idols, and the person who signed that vinyl Rory got for her graduation gift and left on the bus in S2. She of course has a famous solo song called "Heaven Is A Place On Earth".

Also a cute reference to Jess's personal Stars Hollow anthem "This Is Hell" by Elvis Costello. You know how much I love a Lorelai/Jess parallel. ;) What was escapist heaven to her was banished hell to him.

It doesn't hurt that Alvvay's dreamy, sentimental indie-pop sound feels right at home on any GG-inspired playlist. I like to think they'd make the cut on a Lane Kim mix CD.

[papirouge]

Are hamas demonic for provoking and maintaining a conflict that could end tomorrow if they resigned from power releasing all hostages or how about neighbouring arab states are they also demonic for not accepting fleeing palestinians? responsibility for palestine's wellbeing is placed on hamas and hamas alone this is the result

Thank you for proving exactly what I said abt you being the Hamas biggest fans by how you basically need them to remove from yourself any responsibility. Hamas being demonic doesn't remove Israel own demonic evilness the slightest. At least, the Hamas doesn't claim being "god chosen people" while committing heinous crimes, which is an insult to the God that I personally serve.

And no, it's not Hamas responsibility that Israel is willingly starving and bombing civilians while we're talking. Israel could literally stop this massacre right now regardless of whatever Hamas does. It takes 2 to tango and you can't blame the Hamas "maintaining this war" when Israel actively participated in the escalation of this conflict for months, now.

To keep up my previous metaphor, SWAT teams don't bomb entire building where hostages are held along their kidnappers, and then shift the blame onto them saying "they only had to resign and release all hostages 🤪". There's no point to pull out this defense because EVERYONE IS DEAD and this wouldn't make them look any less guilty and vile.

Those Arabs states don't have to deal with Palestinians that Israel forcefully deported. Why would they? Because they're Arabs? are you a racial tribalist bio essentialist who thinks belonging to the same race and/or sharing the same faith means unconditional support and solidarity? Have you seen Europe History? all White and Christians murdering and deporting each others for CENTURIES.

You guys have to stop feeling entitled to have foreign countries deal with a problem that YOU caused. Palestinians have their land and YOU decided to displace them over a degenerate fanatical agenda - YOU have to find a way to deal with it within your own borders. Stop trying to make it everyone's problem. Last time I checked, Israel didn't ask for those Arab countries when they decided to deport Palestinians ; now Israel has to deal with the consequences of this decision the same way - alone.

Also it's funny how you have the same talking points as antisemites who also LOVE reminding everyone how nobody wanted Jews in their countries to prove that Jewish were undesirable anywhere in the world and that there had to be something wrong with them. Never beat the Nazi accusations.

And btw if Israel really wanted to bring back hostages maybe they didn't carpet bombed entire cities. Rumors are starting circulating that Israel is guilty of murdering their own hostages by its own blind brutality, and hides it from the population so that it doesn't turn against the government. Truth will always come out. And you won't be able to blame the Hamas this time.

[delaceae]

for millennia, humanity has worshipped gods in all of their forms. we worshipped the planets and their brothers and sisters. we worshipped the moon, the sun, and the sun's own kin. we worshipped the rocks, the forests, the water, the animals. we worshipped the wishful existence of a God who was believed to have created it all and who has yet to provide an acceptable exegesis for the state of this world and its maladies and impurities. we have brought forth multitudes of exaltation to beings both sentient and not as well as existent and those who have yet to give a hint of the truthfulness of their actuality. so, here is a question i present to myself today: what makes a god? from the moment i came out of this world; from a babe to a clueless child; a clueless child to a curious juvenile the only god that i have known was the god that my mama taught me. the god that my mama preached to me every day of my life. the omnipotent, the omnipresent, the messiah; He has many names but i have known Him best as the word itself, God. the query that i hope to answer does not intent to insult His existence nor to claim His inexistence. i believe this is what they call a "religious crisis" or perhaps i merely fail to see the goodness of the god that my mama loved to sing praises to. if He is good, if He is all-knowing, if all His actions were always for the good of us all; why has the world become what it is now? i know what my mama would've answered me. she would say: "anak, simula nung inilabag ni adam at eve ang nag-iisang tagubilin ng Diyos sa kanila, doon nag simula magpakita ang lahat ng kasamaan sa mundo. naroon naman yun palagi, kung kaya lang ay hindi nila ito unang nakita pagkat hindi nila alam kung ano ang tama at mali. pero naroon yun. naroon yun." and i know she would've told me that how we are doing now is a reflection of the actions of the men and women that were left in this world. she would say that because man and woman had disobeyed God, then man and woman were to suffer the consequences. and i would answer her, "what of the babe that had cried for the joy of his existence only to discover that the hour that he had been born, his days had already been numbered?" "what of the children who were thrown in the midst of war for a conflict that they are unaware of?" "what of the men and women who have done nothing but become shining lights on this world only for their lives to be taken from them?" what of that? what of the innocent souls who had taken no part to the fall of man? what kind of god punishes the men, women, and infants with the hearts of purest gold for the crime of their ancestors? how does a god who promises everlasting and unconditional love have the stomach to watch men and women of all ages die at the hands of their own brethren? you mean to tell me that the death of millions and thousands are for something of greater picture? you mean to tell me that the lives that the children could have had/the lives that the elders have lived were nothing but mere pawns for the big game? you mean to tell me that we must live our lives carrying invariable atonement each time this all-knowing god deems our actions as sin? you mean to tell me that a god who preaches forgiveness has not learned to grant amnesty for a sin committed long long ago? for millennium after millennium we have moved from one god to another and somehow along the way, this was what i was born into. if a being who watches His 'people' slaughtered and fall from the land of the living from an act that was out of their control can be called a god, then what are the makings of a god? what makes a god, God?

[theladyconstellationmain]

We see this in today’s Gospel [Jn 21:15–19], which takes us to the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus began the mission he received from the Father: to be a “fisher” of humanity in order to draw it up from the waters of evil and death. Walking along the shore, he had called Peter and the other first disciples to be, like him, “fishers of men”. Now, after the resurrection, it is up to them to carry on this mission, to cast their nets again and again, to bring the hope of the Gospel into the “waters” of the world, to sail the seas of life so that all may experience God’s embrace.

How can Peter carry out this task? The Gospel tells us that it is possible only because his own life was touched by the infinite and unconditional love of God, even in the hour of his failure and denial. For this reason, when Jesus addresses Peter, the Gospel uses the Greek verb agapáo, which refers to the love that God has for us, to the offering of himself without reserve and without calculation. Whereas the verb used in Peter’s response describes the love of friendship that we have for one another.

Consequently, when Jesus asks Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” (Jn 21:16), he is referring to the love of the Father. It is as if Jesus said to him, “Only if you have known and experienced this love of God, which never fails, will you be able to feed my lambs. Only in the love of God the Father will you be able to love your brothers and sisters with that same ‘more’, that is, by offering your life for your brothers and sisters.”

Peter is thus entrusted with the task of “loving more” and giving his life for the flock. The ministry of Peter is distinguished precisely by this self-sacrificing love, because the Church of Rome presides in charity and its true authority is the charity of Christ. It is never a question of capturing others by force, by religious propaganda or by means of power. Instead, it is always and only a question of loving as Jesus did.

[neha-pawar]

How To Love Your Child Without Spoiling: 10 Parenting Tips For Raising Responsible Citizens

Have you ever tried to calibrate the consequences of your parenting style? Or accept the fact that no one is a perfect parent?

Well, as parents, it is your prime duty to raise your children to be responsible citizens, and that involves persistent revisiting of your decisions, reactions, actions, directions, and management.

According to a study, good parenting involves instilling kids with honesty, tolerance, empathy, resilience, determination, and patience. Consistent practice towards imparting these qualities in the children promotes a sense of encouragement, discipline, and aspiration in them. 

Also, it is believed that children cannot be spoilt by endless showering of love but by outbalancing love in the form of materialism, leniency, and constant ignorance of their ill manners!

However, despite having the best intentions at heart, a few times, parents fail to understand the right balance of love and discipline when it comes to child-rearing. Therefore, as caregivers, it is very important to realize how to love your child without spoiling them.

This blog will determine ways for balanced parenting, along with effective disciplining techniques for Indian parents to determine their children’s healthy future.

Understanding The Difference Between Love And Spoiling

Before proceeding further, it is vital to understand the thin line between unconditional love and overindulgent parenting. 

This serves as a primary step towards not only having a balanced childhood for your children but also harmonizing it with their overall growth and development throughout their lives.

I. Unconditional Love: The Never-Ending Love Subscription

Parents always love their children unconditionally, fostering a sense of care, support, security, and guidance. 

However, this love is enclosed within the boundaries and limits of child disciplining strategies, which fosters balanced parenting with:

Sharing an open emotional expression.

Encouraging constructive criticism and positive reinforcement. 

Building healthy boundaries to instill responsibility, discipline, and self-independence.

Creating a safe space for mutual love and respect.

II. Indulgent Parenting: The Helicopter Hugging!

This type of parenting encompasses love, blurred by a thin line of parenting responsibilities. 

It includes fulfilling children’s desires and needs to an inappropriate degree of misparenting, which provides for:

Lack of well-defined boundaries, leading to expectation of entitlement by the children.

Ignoring children’s misbehavior, tantrums, arguments, or confrontations, leading to unaccountability for their actions.

Always overprotecting the children causes the inability to develop resilience, self-discipline, independence, and coping skills.

Awarding the children with materialism encourages them to believe that their reward will always be materialistic. This is also responsible for their surface-level fulfillment rather than a deeper emotional satisfaction.

III. Impact Of Overindulgence On Child Development

Have you ever witnessed how enclosing a plant inside a small vase restricts its growth?

Well, now compare this with children who are always under their parents’ overprotective shield, be it waking up in the morning, homework, meals, friendships, or bedtime routine. 

Although a little guidance is necessary in their initial growth years, its continuation restricts the active development of the children. Therefore, it is important to understand the limit of directly indulging in your child’s life compared to just guiding them.

Let us now discuss the repercussions of overindulgent parenting on the overall growth and development of children.

They might turn out to be selfish, which might impact their social relationships.

Inability to cope with emotions properly. Such children are adamant and turn rude and negative in times of refusal to their desires.

Lack of independence and responsibility, leading to poor decision-making and problem-solving skills.

They suffer from a lack of accountability due to a lack of sense of responsibility, affecting their overall career and relationships in the future.

They might also experience a lack of resilience, determination, anxiety, stress, inability to handle failure, negative perception, etc.

So, now we have witnessed how child discipline strategies and balanced parenting ought to go hand in hand for optimum child development.

Top 10 Parenting Tips To Avoid Spoiling Your Child

Consider two children who are stuck in an emergency. One of them is trained to tackle such situations with active brainstorming, decision-making, and problem-solving skills, while the other is anxious, stressed, and frozen!

Now, which of the two kids would you like your kid to be? Of course, the first one! 

This is because of their capability to face challenges with utter resilience, confidence, and bravery.

Such skills are not developed overnight and require consistent practice to imbibe into the children’s impulses. 

Therefore, here are 10 parenting tips for child discipline that could assist them in their active development for their future endeavors.

1. Set Clear Boundaries And Consistent Rules

Children who are raised under discipline turn out to have excellent time management skills.

This is due to their consistent routine and discipline that helps them to have an active, functioning mind and body.

Rules like no watching TV past nine-thirty, cleaning after-meal plates, waking up early, regular physical activity, family time before bedtime, or having a fixed bedtime routine, etc., help the kids plan out their day in fixed slots for their homework, meals, playtime, and bedtime.

This diligent discipline enables them to finish the important tasks beforehand, thus promoting ample time for the children to pursue extra-curricular activities. This, thus, encourages an active overall development. 

Skills Developed: Self-discipline, emotional regulation, responsibility, respect for authority, enhanced critical thinking, interpersonal relationships, and social skills.

2. Encourage Responsibility And Independence

Children are like sponges who tend to absorb everything happening around them. Therefore, it is very essential to provide them with an environment where they can learn about responsibility, accountability, and independence from a young age.

Such early exposure to an accountable task or chore helps them understand various important skills and lessons of life, like:

1. Develop a sense of achievement by completing the tasks at hand. For example, a kid who is trained to make the bed immediately after waking up will always be satisfied with the organization. 

Payoff: Learn to prevent procrastination from a young age.

2. When they are included in household chores like purchasing some groceries or assisting in cooking, they witness their family’s reliability, which makes them get things done. 

Payoff: Learn a sense of accountability and responsibility.

3. Engaging children in day-to-day household tasks also instills in them a sense of hard work that is required to achieve something. They would also help them understand the relationship between success and a strong work ethic.

Payoff: Learn to discard the desire for instant gratification.

4. Instructing them to arrange and clean their rooms themselves would enhance their problem-solving, critical thinking, and organization skills. This is because self-cleaning motivates them to brainstorm various small details, like where and how they would like their room to look, etc.

Payoff: Self-dependence, perseverance, creative thinking, and effective motor skills.

3. Practice Positive Reinforcement

This is one of the most effective parenting tips for child discipline. It is because children learn what they see and experience, and hence, parents and teachers must be mindful of the negative reinforcements in front of them.

Tip: Even if you want to refuse, always start the sentence with a positive statement and then explain to them the reason behind your rejection.

Children are very curious, and your immediate denial could make them more determined to pursue it. 

However, positive reinforcement, followed by a logical explanation, would not only enhance their thinking and intellect but would also encourage them to seek a logical explanation for everything around them.

For example, if your child is adamant about playing outdoors in the nighttime, then rather than simply saying no, you can say, “Yes, it is very pleasant to play outdoors right now, but you cannot go because of various risks during nighttime.” 

Such a stance towards your kids would indeed kill two birds with one arrow! 

Skills developed: Patience, curiosity, positive perception, instruction following, critical thinking, etc.

Brownie tip: There might be instances where your child’s persistent adamancy could frustrate you, but despite that, keep explaining to them and use a stern warning rather than shouting at them. 

Choco-frosting tip: When nothing helps, take a deep breath and use a little harmless scaring as your last resort!

4. Teach The Value Of Gratitude

Helping children understand the power of gratitude can enhance their lives right from their childhood. 

This is because showing gratitude towards the possessions in the present encourages a positive mindset for the future. It also helps in promoting a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness in children for the things they have. 

This feeling of gratitude encourages them to pursue more by remaining positive, anxiety-free, and determined. Also, mental and emotional satisfaction would prevent them from desperation and thus, bad decision-making.

In their initial years, encourage them to say words like “thank you,” “sorry,” “please,” and “welcome” by guiding them. Later on, with their growing age, let them self-assess their lives by journaling. 

Tip: Despite the self-work, ensure you spend optimum time with them to understand and guide them. However, let them make mistakes from time to time to let them self-analyse in the future!

Dopamine-filling exercise

Encourage children to journal every day by:

Writing 5 tasks for the day at the start of the day.

Explain the completion of each task and the reason behind the pending ones at the end of the day.

Before bedtime, show gratitude through the “lesson of the day.” 

Always motivate the kids to use positive affirmations in their journals and read them whenever they feel demotivated.

Practicing this exercise consistently would make them:

Self-dependent

Self-reflective 

Self-identified

Optimistic

Problem-solvers through critical thinking

Patient, persistent, and diligent

Develop a never-give-up attitude.

This is one of the most important ways of how to love your child without spoiling them!

In addition, journaling also helps the children unload their mental agitation and stress by finding out ways to solve any challenge by themselves! 

This could although may seem like a tiring activity, but something your child will definitely thank you for in the future.

5. Limit Material Gifts

One of the most effective discipline techniques for Indian parents is limiting the showcasing of materialism in front of children. 

This is because it is necessary to understand that materialistic gifts only provide surface-level temporary satisfaction, rather than soul-filling permanent happiness. 

Also, excessive materialism could lead to over-possession in children, which could cause bad behavior in them. This is because anything that is easily and excessively handed to them on the silver platter is certainly going to spoil them into believing in shortcuts to get things done. 

For example, if your kid has achieved something, you can take your children to an amusement park, a movie night, a trip to a museum, a picnic, a hike, etc., rather than gifting them expensive video games, toys, etc.

Such activities would not only help them understand the importance of family time but would also encourage active child developmental skills while also rebooting their minds with a dopamine rush!

Research also states that experiences develop more happiness compared to materialistic possessions. 

However, you can also prove this to your child by rechecking the usage of the last purchased toy or item by them and comparing it to the time when you went out for a family picnic!

Money Management Skills

Such non-materialistic and adrenaline-rush activities would further help them understand the importance of money management. This is one of the most ignored child disciplinary strategies.

This can be done by giving them monthly pocket money and telling them to divide their share into three:

Immediate expenses

Future expenses

Emergency expenses

This would help them self-bifurcate their expenses and use them when required. However, instruct them that nothing should be spent before asking and unless necessary.

Skills developed: Patience, self-control, prevention of instant gratification, money management, social skills, problem solving, logical thinking, and decision-making skills.

6. Model Desired Behaviors

Do you remember the famous saying, “Be the change you want to see in the world!”

Well, your behavior with babies is not far behind! Your children will always be a reflection of your reactions, actions, and behavior, be it speaking politely or being rude, being anxious or calm, etc. 

Children who are taught the importance of patience, positive behavior, and gratification from a young age turn out to be amazing adults!

For example, when you feed the poor or help a stranger while explaining its importance to your children, they will learn the same and model the same behavior throughout their lives.

Also, consistent practice of modeling good manners will enhance important skills in them like patience, gratitude, empathy, and social and communication skills.

They would also be aware of various social circumstances around the world, which would also make them more responsible citizens in the future.

Social Responsibility Activity 

Involve them in various social activities like feeding or distributing blankets to the poor in the winter, assisting old people, etc.

Brownie Point: Doing this would not only help them understand the reality of the world but would also teach them to use their resources responsibly, develop gratitude, and remain optimistic.

7. Encourage Problem-Solving Skills

These skills form the foundation for developing confidence and active decision-making skills. 

Also, this requires practice and cannot be achieved in a day, which pushes the responsibility upon the parents for their regular exposure to brainstorming in fun ways like:

1. Engage them in puzzle-solving activities.

2. Enrich their curiosity by asking them tonnes of questions about their surroundings. 

For example, ask them why it is important to wash the fruits and vegetables before consuming them, how a remote control functions, etc. These questions would always trigger their minds to know more.

3. When you are outdoors, keep asking them questions like:

What would they do if they got lost?

How would they reach home alone?

What would they do in case someone steals and runs from them?

How would they handle an emergency accident, fire, earthquake, or break-in? Etc.

4. Riding scooters, cycles, swings cars, etc. also enhances children’s problem-solving skills.

All these questions would enforce a curiosity in their minds, and your guidance will prepare them for the future. 

Tip: Make it a habit to keep asking them riddles to jog down their brain cells. This would also keep them active and alert at all times.

Activities for skill-building

A demo-emergency drill where you teach them how to tackle various unfortunate crises. 

A trip to fun, challenging group sports, games, horror houses, etc., to enhance their on-foot thinking skills. 

Have a regular “social gaming fiesta” by inviting all the kids from the neighborhood. This would improve their social, communication, and problem-solving skills, sportsmanship, and also patience.

Include them during cooking sessions for them to understand the basics of cooking, measurement, benefits of following instructions, etc.

Take a family outing for a hike, followed by fun outdoor activities like playing, staying in a tent, cooking a barbecue meal, surviving nature for a day, etc.

Such fun and simple activities would forge their mindset into positive reinforcement and optimism in times of challenges and emergencies.

8. Provide Unconditional Love Without Overindulgence

The parents need to understand the thin line between love and helicopter parenting, which could impact their overall growth and development.

This could be done by throwing various challenges and situations at them right from their childhood in a fun way and also guiding them out of it. Such a balanced parenting approach could go a long way toward positive parenting. 

Have you ever watched how a lioness teaches her cubs to survive in the wild?

She leads her little pack of cubs when they grow up a little and shows them how to hunt. Once they grow up, it is the cub who hunts and kills, while the mother lion keeps an eye from behind.

This similar approach, where the kids are put out into the real world to make their own decisions and mistakes with parents' support from behind, could go a long way in developing various essential skills in children. 

However, it should be noted that your kids understand that your presence is just for their guidance, as a proxy, and not as a whole! This would enable them to first exhaust their ability to resolve an issue before finally approaching you.

This thus shows a perfect balance of showing affection while maintaining discipline, independence, and active decision-making and problem-solving in children.

9. Communicate Openly About Expectations

There is nothing in the world that healthy communication cannot solve. Therefore, communication is very important to foster a happy childhood for your children.

Always ensure that you are openly communicating your feelings, emotions, anger, disappointment, happiness, and pride clearly to your children. 

This would help them understand various emotions and their repercussions with consistent practice. They would also self-regulate their behavior once they understand what is right and wrong by reflecting upon their reactions to their various doings.

For example, it is very important to spend at least an hour a day with your child where you ask them about their lives, the things troubling them, friends, school, teachers, etc.

Also, sharing your raw life incidents could forge a positive perception and confidence for them to handle their life problems. Remember, you are their most important role model!

In addition, regular communication also makes them secure about approaching you in case of an emergency because kids do need their parents, especially until they are teenagers.

Tip: Maintain a regular workout schedule with your kids to spend quality time with them. Happy hormones and heartfelt communication can go a long way to forge healthy relationships!

10. Seek Support When Needed

The above-mentioned parenting tips for child discipline would work wonders in training the kids into responsible citizens. 

However, there might be times when you might require the need to consult a professional to help your kids. This might be due to reasons varying from a disturbed family atmosphere, ADHD, autism, etc.

Also, seek immediate help in case you feel things are getting out of hand, as prevention is always better than cure.

Conclusion

Children are the best gifts the parents can receive in their lifetime. However, child rearing is more challenging than it appears to be because of the tonnes of distractions and negativity present around us.

Therefore, as parents, it should be your primary responsibility to provide your children with a nurturing and nourishing environment for their overall healthy growth and development. 

The above-mentioned tips are some effective discipline techniques for Indian parents to provide you with an idea of positive parenting. However, you can always customize it according to your individual preferences and kids’ behavior!

Lastly, do not forget that your kids will always be a reflection of what they witness, and therefore, the first step towards positive parenting is to surround them with loads of positivity, enthusiasm, and hope in their initial years for them to carve out a beautiful future for themselves!

This content is originally published on R For Rabbit' s Website: How To Love Your Child Without Spoiling: 10 Parenting Tips For Raising Responsible Citizens

[locustheologicus]

The Global Human Family: Embracing Solidarity and Subsidiarity

The second principle of Catholic Social Teaching is on the value of family, community, and participation. If the first principle highlight the individual dignity that we all have as humans made in the image and likeness of God, the second principle highlights that, for Christians, God own existence is defined within a dynamic of relationships and likewise our own dignity can only be expressed in a social dynamic of relationships to one another. That is why the value of family is so important for us Christians. 

In his 2008 World Day of Peace Message Pope Benedict XVI offered the following reflection on the family and its role in promoting justice and peace.

Indeed, in a healthy family life we experience some of the fundamental elements of peace: justice and love between brothers and sisters, the role of authority expressed by parents, loving concern for the members who are weaker because of youth, sickness or old age, mutual help in the necessities of life, readiness to accept others and, if necessary, to forgive them. For this reason, the family is the first and indispensable teacher of peace.

Of course one needs to notice Pope Benedict XVI use of the word “healthy” when describing a family that can be a conduit for justice and peace. Pope Francis addressed this reality in his exhortation “Amoris Laetitia” where the Church recognized that many family dynamics are far from “healthy.” This is where the Church, under Pope Francis, addressed the idea of a wounded family, and recalled the notion of the Church as a “Field Hospital” to recognize the importance of being attentive to the wounds that many families suffer.    

‘The Church must accompany with attention and care the weakest of her children, who show signs of a wounded and troubled love, by restoring in them hope and confidence, like the beacon of a lighthouse in a port or a torch carried among the people to enlighten those who have lost their way or who are in the midst of a storm’. Let us not forget that the Church’s task is often like that of a field hospital. - Pope Francis, AL #291

Pope Benedict challenged us to strive for a healthy familial role and Pope Francis placed it within the scope of the Church to promote this service. Both Popes have also wanted us to recognize how we need to also look upon our social community as a global human family and strive to be healthy and responsible members of such a community.

We do not live alongside one another purely by chance; all of us are progressing along a common path as men and women, and thus as brothers and sisters. Consequently, it is essential that we should all be committed to living our lives in an attitude of responsibility before God, acknowledging him as the deepest source of our own existence and that of others. By going back to this supreme principle we are able to perceive the unconditional worth of each human being, and thus to lay the premises for building a humanity at peace. Without this transcendent foundation society is a mere aggregation of neighbours, not a community of brothers and sisters called to form one great family.

The image of of a global human family brings to life the principles of subsidiarity and solidarity. In paragraph 187 of the encyclical “Fratelli Tutti” Pope Francis tells us that the principle of subsidiarity is inseparable from the principle of solidarity. It is through the concrete experience of the local that we can respond pragmatically to values and principles while responding to similar global situations. The family is the local authority that has the authority to dispense justice and peace, this local unit must be supported by the wider community only insofar as it does not have access to basic human needs. But as a global human family we must also be ready to respond to the needs of our wounded family who suffers from social injustices. Pope Benedict XVI tells us that what we need to reflect on (at the local and global level) is a common standard. Families should strive for this in their own dynamic and the global human family should also be guided by a common standard.  

A family lives in peace if all its members submit to a common standard: this is what prevents selfish individualism and brings individuals together, fostering their harmonious coexistence and giving direction to their work. This principle, obvious as it is, also holds true for wider communities: from local and national communities to the international community itself. For the sake of peace, a common law is needed, one which would foster true freedom rather than blind caprice, and protect the weak from oppression by the strong.

The principles of subsidiarity and solidarity appear to be in tension, do we empower the local community or the global society? Should we emphasize a standard for the local or global? The answer is found with the idea that we are a global human family, it is not an either/or question but a both/and reality. We have our local responsibilities that must be supported but we are also part of a global society and we are expected to be responsible for one another, especially those who are in need.    

[teleiosresearch]

Security of Salvation: Part 4

Your Relationship with God is Secure!

Welcome back to my blog. Over the last several blogs, we have discussed the critical concepts of our spiritual baptism, justification before God, adoption into God's family, and that we are his permanent possession. This week, let us examine two more incredible promises from God that confirm the permanent relationship of a born-again believer to our God.  

God’s love for us is deep and unconditional. He chooses us despite our past, our flaws, and our mistakes. His desire is for all people to be saved and come to know the truth. God’s choice is not limited to a select few; it extends to everyone throughout history and into the future. He eagerly waits for us to accept Him.

Perseverance 

This word does not appear in the scriptures. However, it represents an important concept built on the fact that God Himself safeguards our salvation and not us. Therefore, we do not have to work or strive to maintain our salvation and worry that we will spoil it in some manner. Important scripture verses pertaining to God’s keeping us are 1 Corinthians 1:8, 2 Timothy 1:12, 1 Thessalonians 5:23 and Philippians 1:6.

God chose us to salvation  

This important doctrine can be a cause of heated debate. However, as always, we must look to scripture as our source of truth. The Bible tells us that God indeed chose us to come to salvation. Let us look at what scripture says. The primary verses are Ephesians 1:4,5 and 11, as well as Romans 8:28-39.

Reason for God’s choosing  God had to choose us because scripture is clear that we were incapable of choosing Him because of our fallen nature (Psalms 14:1-3: 53:1-3; Romans 3:10-18). As fallen people we would not choose Him, we do not understand him we did not seek Him and have no capacity to do good. Consequently, for any of us to be saved, God must choose and drag us to salvation (John 6:44). This is out of His mercy and grace; we do not deserve it!

Attitude in choosing us - He chose us to salvation out of graciousness, love, wisdom, knowledge, for His good pleasure, and to His praise of His glory (Ephesians 1:4-8).

God must choose - God throughout history has had to choose His servants for His purposes and maintain a remnant of His people to testify of Him on earth; for example, Noah, Moses, Abraham, and David, along with many others. Therefore, the fact that He chose us as Christians to come to know Him is consistent with His past behavior in maintaining a witness in the world.

The intent of the passages describing God’s choosing – The purpose of predestination verses in context is not to create controversy but to give the reader comfort that they are secure in salvation with God. Our salvation is apart from works.

In summary, God’s choice and our free will intersect beautifully. He chooses us out of love, and we respond by choosing Him. 

Surely, we have a wonderful God who iprovided for us a great salvation which is secure and embedded in his great promises that cannot be overturned. He deserves our thanks and praise every day for this kind of provision. 

Join me again next time as we continue to discuss the great promises that provide security in our salvation.

William C. Stewart, MD

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[missingn000]

the phantom guardian chapter twenty-five

[matrixwhore]

bare with me bc im fatigued but unable to sleep so i’m just here thinking and need to get my thoughts out, but i think much of louis’ passivity stems from his relationship with his mother and family. we don’t really see him become passive until claudia arrives. please correct me if i’m wrong but i believe that side of him is awakened once that traditional family structure is solidified in his home and i think the du lac family has a lot to do with why he’s like that and not just that he’s incapable of acting or choosing.

i see him and i see the child/mother that doesn’t want to repeat his mother’s failings on his own family but takes it so far to the extreme that it means he refuses to confront anything ever bc he feels he’s communicating the unconditional love he never received. he really is someone who wants the ones in his life to know they can be loved through anything. whether or not people receive it in the way he gives it i don’t think should be put on his shoulders as much it is.

he doesn’t have healthy understanding of discipline/consequences bc he was punished for things he couldn’t help like his queer identity. it doesn’t really seem like growing up he got into much trouble, again correct me if im wrong. other than paul his pimping isn’t really admonished by the du lacs bc it affords them their lifestyle. they are willing to distance themselves from it bc they get the house and the staff and the honeymoon trips etc. but they won’t overlook who he is. and it outweighs anything else. and that’s a weird thing to process being punished for bc the only thing you can do is deny yourself. but they know. so you hiding it and they know and they show you they disapprove even if you’re trying to play by their rules. it creates a complex.

then there’s paul. he’s the only one who really took it on to take care of paul and establish a relationship with him. i think florence probably didn’t push back against his institutionalization and grace seems to agree he belonged there. louis was the only one who saw how it negatively impacted paul. he loved paul that was his favorite person and then he killed himself and florence blames him for simply being there. this is where he starts to go from the favored son to the scapegoat which is a fucked transition to experience and i think its super underestimated how badly louis is impacted by it. it also happens when he starts to openly entertain lestat so it’ll never matter that his last moments with paul were expressions of love bc his all florence sees is that he’s been acting in sin and so of course he must of done and said something to kill her baby who he was raising and caring for in her place btw. when paul was upset he went to louis not florence. the last thing he ever said to paul was he loved him and he still died and florence blames him for it. he’s always punished for loving as far as he’s concerned.

then he does make “a choice” to become an immortal monster/companion/wife, which given all the circumstances is very much not much of a choice on his part, but he decides to go with what he wants and that choice is at the center of the unraveling of almost all the things he cares about and links to his human identity. and he clings to his human identity so i believe that fucks with his ability to trust his own decision making for sure. it’s the loss of his role in his family slowly but surely and everything he did he did for them. he always struggles with his decisions about how he supports his family and how he copes w the impact it has on his community. so if in choosing his own desire to love and be loved for once strips him of his family and his community what does that say about the decisions he made along the way? what was it all for? and then on top of that he didn’t even know what he was choosing in choosing immortality with lestat. he’s rocked by being faced with the reality of his choice so much so that he forgot his brother died for a moment. he’s probably developed an inability to take a step in any direction bc every step leads to a new rock bottom and he doesn’t trust himself anymore. that’s a very real thing that happens.

so how does that manifest when he has his own lil nuclear family?? well

with claudia he doesn’t ever want her to feel like she could ever lose his love for her for any reasons. like his family showed him. so bc his own punishments were correlated with who he was and not things he did really i don’t think he’s able to see disciplining claudia as guiding her towards better actions i think he sees it as punishing her for being as she is which he blames himself for and also for loving (where charlie is concerned but i’ll get to that…). it was his choice to bring her into this life so how can he trust himself beyond loving her unconditionally. that’s what he wants so that’s what he gives. claudia does what she does bc she’s a vampire and she didn’t choose that. he did. so he retreats when the consequences of that crop up and becomes passive. he doesn’t want to take a step in any direction on top of the patriarchal structure that the father is the law of the house, but then charlie happens.

claudia didnt kill charlie out of maliciousness. it was young love with all the demanding of the insatiable hunger of a vampire. even lestat recognizes that she got carried away so to louis punishing her or even makeing her feel bad for the action was too deeply entwined with punishing her for loving at all and that is a sensitive thing for him. he doesn’t handle it better than lestat that’s not what i’m saying what i’m saying is he doesn’t have the tools to guide her through this. what he has is the desperation to not repeat what harmed him growing up. it’s after this that he decides lestat cannot be the law of the household where claudia is concerned until he realizes his approach seriously blinded him to the fact that claudia ,yes is a doomed child vampire, but she’s a doomed child vampire making decisions and her actions have serious consequences for all of them and he doesn’t have the tools to guide. he can love her through anything, but how can he of all people really guide her. this isn’t as simple as no running in the house and listen to your elders. the mother is learning her daughter is her own person (and vampire) not an extension of her and with character traits like her father too. (plus the mother has to realize that she can’t heal herself through her daughter) whew. so louis decides to step back and to let lestat be the law again and then claudia LEAVES and on her way out she challenges his decision to turn her at all (with good reason. these two vampires should not be raising a baby!!) louis is literally so distraught he wants her to come home but he can’t bring himself to go after her and bring her home. he doesn’t want to take a step!! he doesn’t want to decide. it never leads to what he thinks it will. i don’t think he believes he can trust himself to make good choices. so he loves her unconditionally on broadcast for every vampire within radio earshot to hear because that’s what he can do. thennnn she’s harmed while she’s gone and i’m sure he’s feels in a way responsible. he wanted to be her protector so badly (when actually she’s his but i’ll get to that in a bit) and wasn’t able to. and of course there’s that scene™️ in ep5 with being put in a position where he was pressured to choose between lestat and claudia and because it LOOKED like he MIGHT choose claudia and because he didn’t IMMEDIATELY choose lestat disaster ensued. that’s a lot. fuck.

and when the nature of his relationship with claudia shifts more to siblings because she’s getting older, wants more agency and claudia realizes she is also a replacement for grace, this is where the passiveness that is the result of his relationship with grace developed. bc while its true claudia takes over for grace, she is the sister to louis that grace never ever was. on top of the fact that her solution for their issues was “you’re dead to me,” grace never actually accepted and supported his queer identity truly like claudia and she definitely never protected him like claudia either (defending mama du lac in regards to paul comes to mind and also her husband being the replacement son). and louis needs and wants both those things as well as someone who won’t abandon him like grace did and he let’s claudia be them but takes it to the extreme where the last two are concerned. Louis doesn’t think he can save himself from his situation and claudia believes she can save herself and him. she isn’t gonna leave him behind. he leans into that heavily. it’s not just that he can’t and won’t make choices to get them out of their situation it’s also that he’s traumatized by his past choices and also he’s also loving lestat unconditionally as well on top of that (in the way he’s able to). i don’t think louis could see a way out like at all. he was shrouded in darkness. the best he could do was compartmentalize his love for lestat to protect himself when things were at their worst that was his flashlight in that darkness. but like when it was necessary for the success of the plan that he allow himself to love lestat fully he said if i feel it there’s no way out of this fr fr. he knew he wouldn’t make good choices. choosing lestat is the decision he will always make for better or worse. but that’s at the expense of claudia on top of choking her.

like idk we joke about his inability to make decisions but that trait in him is drenched with trauma. and his family is a huge part of why imo. i just get so upset when i think about them. i really rambled on and on here. not sure how much sense this makes but i guess this ties into my feelings about this as well. but yeah not choosing as a trauma response and not just as a way to get out of confronting his problems even tho that is a symptom. if that makes sense. idk. my brain is mash potatoes right now.

[summerrainsworld]

June and Intimacy

During the days of the monthly ceremony, her eyes remained open, fixed to the ceiling. She was a good student. She had to be convincing. She had to know her audience was convinced. She kept her eyes open, constantly observing the people she was of. She had to look unbothered and subservient. She knew her audience better than she knew knew her role. She had to do what the Waterfords wanted. During the ceremony, she was silent, unbothered and subservient. The commander’s cum was nothing but an intrusive one - way transaction. Power and safety are not synonymous. At Jezebels, she was vocally responsive to the “pleasure” Fred gave her. Her face contorted with disgust only when Fred put his face to her neck. She placed a hand on the back of his head. One might see this as her wanting him body to stay aligned with hers but that was not true. June’s hand on the back of the commanders head was only there so she had the opportunity to feel, any movement of his would be felt by her hand and she would know to soften her face for him when his eyes met hers again.Her deliberate, unblinking soft gaze at the ceiling while she is being raped by Fred and held down by Serena, runs parallel with the Gilead expectations that hold dire consequences if they aren’t met. June knows the height of the bar. She knows the bar isn’t stagnant. Her eyes are open and they glow with the trauma réponse that is fawn which means to go along with it and to go along with it, you have to play your part. That means you need to show you are cooperating. Eyes are the window to the soul. The waterfords need to know she is cooperating and being the subservient and unbothered handmaid, the walking womb so to speak. They need to see this and if June’s eyes are closed, it leaves room for doubt and uncertainty that she is playing her part which then leads to them seeing her as a threat to Gilead values. Another reason why June’s eyes are open is so she can observe and assess the believability of her performance and make the necessary tweaks and fix mistakes before they have the chance to be seen and judged by her audience. If her eyes were closed, she would have no idea how to prevent the worst from happening. The clothing signifies that she is Offred. Offred is a sex slave. Offred is a walking womb. Offred is submissive. Offred is willing. Offered is obligated. Offred is not the June underneath the many layers of clothing.

If we compare this with the scene where June goes to Nick’s apartment for the first time, we see how different it is. June sheds all of her clothing herself and sheds Nick’s clothing herself. This is June saying: this is me. I want you to see me. I want you to know me. This is who I am. I have nothing to hide. I don’t want to hide from you. It is June’s way of making him realise that he is not just anyone. I think Nick’s wondrous gaze at her naked body while she is undressing, is when he realises this. It is a big thing for her to do and it’s special for him that he gets to be the one she chooses to do that with. It speaks volumes and it gives them this mutual unspoken understanding that they can be themselves around each other. Its even more special because they want to be themselves with each other. The safety of each others presence is established. Its sacred. It’s unbreakable. When they have sex for the first time, June assumes the position of dominance and rides him. She does not assume this position to dominate him, she lets him be a part of her dominance rather than be at the mercy of it. She does this by lifting him up into a sitting position so he can be a part of this with her. This shows that even when caught up in having sex and assuming a dominant position, she still wants him to enjoy it with her. She aligns her needs with his and she accommodates him, as he does for her and with her. Their love is unconditional and was built from trust that she initiated and needs that he validated. It is important to note that the last piece of clothing she takes off is her bra. The clothing that shields her heart, her true self, her love, her feelings id the last thing she takes off. This is not an act of submission but rather get saying, this is who I am and I want to be who I am around you. It allows June to feel. Her heart is not shielded anymore. She is completely vulnerable. She takes her bra off slowly and once it is off her chest, Nick takes it and sort of moves it out of the way. I feel like him doing that is him making her feel like she is safe. He will never hurt her. He wants her to be who she is. As soon as he moves her bra away , he brings her in for a kiss and their chests touch each other. Bit of their chests are exposed. I feel like this is significant because it cements their commitment to one another. Their hearts are beating against one another and they are both showing each other that their body and their mind and their spirit, is safe. They belong to themselves and they always will but they trust each other enough to give each other parts of themselves because they both know these parts of themselves will be nourished by the other and returned to one another in the same condition. They give each other the space to be who they need to be but also the space to realise who they are to one another. There is no role she has to step into. She is not putting on a performance. She is real and raw and vulnerable.

Another important thing about this scene is June’s eyes. Her eyes are closed often than they are open. Her eyes are closed because she is free. She is revealing her true identity to him without fear. It is just him and her. She knows him. He knows her. She is free to be who she is. She doesn’t need to rely on assessing his response or observing him. She doesn’t even do it automatically which shows how safe she feels with him. That kind of trust is deep and it’s here that he understands the depth of their bond. He’s not a threat to her and she knows this without having to be told. It shows how sure she is about loving him and wanting him. Nick is not just anyone. He is her refuge. She knows she is lucky to have a person that represents so much to her. She will never let him go because even though she is no longer in Gilead, she still feels like it’s a part of her because it was for so long. She doesn’t feel the need to protect him what she feels or hide the things she feels because she knows him. There are no secrets between them and any secrets that do arise, are easily forgivable because it’s not about what the other peorson does or what they are forced to do, it’s about who they are. She loves him for him. It doesn’t matter what he’s done because she’s done some shitty stuff too. They understand each others need to be that safe place. They don’t hide anything from one another. She is free to feel and free to love. It’s him that makes her feel this way. It’s him that makes her feel safe to be herself and reconnect with what she wants and who she wants to be with. Gilead can’t take that away from her. Gilead can’t take him away from her. Because she loves this man for who he is but also for who she can be when she is with him. She can be naked. She can be vulnerable. She can be anything she wants to be. And so can he. They bring out the best in each other. It’s easy for them to love one another because there is nothing that can break the bond they both hold close to their hearts. Closing her eyes is the ultimate act of showing him how deeply she trusts him. They would always be a part of one another, never a subject of the other.

When June mentions in the tape that Nick helped her to survive, she isn’t talking about him obviously helping her avoid imminent death but she is talking about her quality of life. In a place like Gilead, to have what they both could provide for one another is something that is unfair to dismiss and/or forget. They both know they will always need each other. They both owe so much to one another. They are a team. But they are also two separate people whose ties to one another don’t fray or break when they are with their significant others because it’s not like that. Their bond runs too deep because it was built around the need to survive and the need to be okay. June will always need him to feel close to who she is because he is the only person she is comfortable and safe with to truly just be. This is the same for him. She is an onion. But she is an onion who peeled her own layers. She wasn’t forced to do it.

This bond is present even when they’re not physically together. When Luke and June have sex after bonding over their hatred of Serena, June continues to honour her relationship and bond she has with Nick even while she’s having sex with her husband. We know that June wasn’t fully clothed when she was having sex with Luke. Luke was completely naked. She knows who he is. He doesn’t know who she is. He knows parts of her, the parts of her that she lets him see, the parts of her that aren’t clothed. But he will never know all of her. This also runs parallel to the association June has with identity and clothing. She is a wife, she is not June. Her clothes remain on her body as long as she is the wife. It’s her reminder of who she is replicating and helps her step into the role of the wife she knows Luke deserves. But he will never know her. He knows her as his wife which she heard quite often. But he will never know her as June. Not like Nick does. He will never feel the beating heart that is June. It also symbolises that her heart is not present in this decision to have sex with Luke. As much as tries to rebuild her marriage with him, she can’t because she won’t show him her true self. She is pulled down by the weight of her legal ties to him which doesn’t help her recover because all that does for her is go back into her old ways of being the subservient Offred who never closes her eyes. Offred has been replaced by the Wife. She has new obligations. She must play the part and convinces herself that she has to because she is so aware of what Luke needs and she feels guilty that she can’t be the wife that she was. She knows her audience though. She knows when to moan and sigh and groan and gasp. Her eyes remain open to observe her audience. He believes her performance. Her facade never faltered, not while he was kissing her neck, not while he moved inside her, not while they undressed each other and kissed one another’s bodies. She was never on top. She was the subservient wife. A wife who loved her husband. A wife who knew her husband missed her moans, her heavy breathing, her body. Even when they were around other people, her eyes never closed. Not when they embraced. Not when they were comforted by one another. The sex scene is intercut with Serena and the Wheelers. Both women are doing what they believe is right. Both women wish their situations were different. Both women are expected to know how to navigate it. Both women know what’s at stake if they don’t.

[softlibra31]

A good life

Pairing: The Mandalorian x OFC! (reader pov)

Chapter 1, “a bad mistake”

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: None yet, will be 18+ in the future!

He had promised you a good life.

One with trust, companionship, and a life where you could raise children with care and unconditional love. Something both of you had never had.

You had never encountered a man quite like him. Both bounty hunters, he met you in your home planet of Navarro. You bumped into him on the way to get a new bounty from Greef Karga, you spotted a new blinking red puck in his hand. His striking green eyes were the first thing that attracted you. Along with his dark brown - almost black - hair. He was not much taller than you, something that would normally throw you off, but in his bounty hunter gear, you couldn’t help but become interested.

You were good-looking, you knew that. Consequently, Navarro men mostly only wanted to sleep with you. Your tough, independent demeanor is usually a warning sign to men that you would not be fit for the role of a wife. For some reason, this didn’t scare him off.

“Want to grab a drink?” He looked cautious yet confident, like he could see your walls, but knew his charm and looks would win any woman’s attention.

You really needed to get a job from Karga, but figured, why the hell not? Maybe you could get a good night out of this.

“Sure,” you looked him up and down, then gave him a small smile, looking into his eyes. He granted you with a smirk.

What a bad mistake.

It’s getting harder every day to remember the women you once were. Now, you are sitting in a dirty cantina, rowdy patrons all around with the smell of spotchka in the air, and your baby girl in your lap.

Your right leg is bouncing up and down in a poor attempt to calm her crying down. Your hands are around her belly, clutching her to your body. How has it come to this?

“It’s okay honey,” you say leaning towards your daughter, “Karga will be back soon and he will help us get out of here” you whispered in your daughter's ear.

You needed to leave this godforsaken planet and all of its painful memories behind, your husband was probably running around loose Navarro looking for you and the baby. It’s only a matter of time before he checks this cantina.

You find yourself scanning your head around the room, your heart beating fast. You saw many different species mingling with each other laughing. One man slams his fist on one of the cantina tables in a heated exchange with his friend. Making you flinch, the baby's cries get louder.

You’ve been in this cantina hundreds of times before, the noise never bothering you. Now you can feel tension forming in the middle of your head, the volume something you couldn’t handle for much longer. God, how could you have turned this sensitive? You are a bounty hunter for makers’ sake. This is it. The scars of my husband's love have changed me forever.

As you look around the room, you finally spot Greg Karga coming through the door. You stand up from the dingy cantina seat lifting your baby onto your right shoulder, pick up your guy's shared bag on your left, and start walking towards the leader of the Bounty Hunters’ Guild. Your long tunic flows onto the floor beneath you.

You had been dealing with Greef Karga for the better part of your adult life. As long as you’ve been a bounty hunter you’ve worked under him. You trusted him. Which is why you came to him when you desperately needed help.

He spots you from the entrance and starts walking toward you. You can feel the stress coming off his body, which always seemed like his default setting thanks to his line of work. Bounty hunting itself is a stressful job. Managing a bunch of big ego bounty hunters every day? Now that’s a whole other level of stress.

Standing in the middle of the cantina, Karga looks at you and reaches out to touch your arm as some sort of comfort.

“How are you two?” He asks with a slight furrow on his brow.

You rub your daughter's head, wanting desperately to stop the small talk. “We’re fine,” you say while bouncing your baby up and down. You look down at her and smile slightly. She’s stopped crying but is still very uncomfortable due to the unusual environment.

Greef gives you a look of doubt, you notice and put your hand up defensively, “We’ll be fine, Karga,” you say more definitive this time.

Greef is still not convinced but accepts your answer. He lets out a big sigh, closing and then opening his eyes, looking at your baby and then around the cantina in disbelief. He looks you in the eyes as he says, “Follow me to my office, this is no place for a child.”

You hand him your bag and start following him towards the back of the establishment. Several people in the cantina start looking at you as you and Karga leave, you hold your baby’s head possessively against your shoulder, feeling some drool drop onto your neck. You softly smile to yourself. Your daughter seems to be the only semblance of happiness in your life at the moment. The only good thing to come out of your marriage.

When you and Karga reach his office, he drops your bag onto a nearby chair and fishes out two ration packs from under his desk. “Here,” he hands you the food. “Eat,” Karga sternly adds. You take the packs, nodding his thanks while looking him in the eyes.

You haven’t noticed how hungry you were until you felt your stomach rumbling at the smell of the ration pack opening. You felt heat rise on your cheeks, you need to start paying more attention to yourself. The first bite is heavenly and you have to use all your willpower to not scarf the packet down.

You quickly come back to reality when you see Karga sitting in his seat with one foot resting on his other knee. He looked like a real leader. You remember when you felt like a leader. Now, more like something of a damsel in distress. Needs to be saved by some man. But, if you were going to be saved by a man, you were glad it would be Karga.

As you are chewing, you remember the situation at hand, “So what’s your plan, Karga?” you question him. “My husband isn’t a dumb man, he will come looking for us…” you take another bite, “and this will be one of the first places he checks,” the urgency in your voice not lost on Karga.

“I know, I know,” Karga acknowledges your worry and looks out the blinds of the window behind his office chair. “I have transportation for you coming, I just don’t know where they are…” he trails off still looking out the window.

You finish the ration pack and throw it in a nearby trash can, making the shot. You pick up your daughter from your shoulder, and hold her from her head in your lap, looking down at her face. Her big brown eyes staring up at you makes you feel hopeful. Hopeful you can finally leave this planet. You spot some dried-up tears on her face and gently wipe them off with your left thumb. You lean down and kiss her cheeks and then her forehead, earning you a giggle.

Although you can still hear the boisterous sounds coming from the bar patrons, it is much quieter in Kargas’ office. Your daughter is in a much better mood after leaving the cantina, you hope she will never have to be in one again. That is until she can drink the spotchka, at least.

Suddenly, you can barely hear the noise from the next room. What has happened? You think something strange must’ve happened in the cantina, stopping all commotion from occurring. Karga turns around and looks at you with a smirk on his face, “Sounds like your help has arrived, my dear” He looks delighted. “I will go get him,” Karga says, leaving the room.

You look around scouring your brain for who could be here to help you, maybe an old friend of Kargas? A fellow bounty hunter? There are not many people with reliable transportation in Navarro, so not a lot of options.

You hear four footsteps walking towards the office doors and Kargas muffled voice, “C’mon Mando, she’s in a terrible situation, all she needs is a ride to another planet-“

“I’m not a taxi service, Karga,” the voice sounds equal parts modulated and angry. “I’m just here to drop off my bounty and pick up more pucks,” He adds, sounding disgruntled.

Oh, he’s a bounty hunter. You think to yourself. Well, we might get along, except for the fact he doesn’t want to help you.

You hear the two men quickly approaching the door and you hold your baby closer to you. When the door opens you look to your left and see a tall man covered he’s head to toe in beskar. His broad frame is what captures your eye first then, the fact his face is covered.

A Mandalorian. Interesting.

You have heard a lot of Mandalorians, they have sometimes been considered the best-trained fighters in all of the galaxy. In another lifetime you would’ve jumped at the chance to travel with one. You could learn a lot from him. But, you have a daughter now, and safety and a Mandalorian are not two words you would associate with one another.

Flickering your eyes back and forth between the two men, you are the first one to speak, “Um, I didn’t know when you said I was going to be traveling with someone, it would be a Mandalorian, Karga,” hesitation dripping from your mouth.

The Mandalorian looks at Karga expectedly with his gloved hands resting on his hips. 

Karga looks between the both of you feeling questioned, “Listen-,” he starts defensively, “Mando is a good friend, and I trust him with my life.” 

You slowly start to listen, if Karga trusts him, maybe you could too. “He protects what is good,” the man finishes glancing from the Mandalorians' covered face over to your worried gaze.

You look to the Mandalorian to see him already staring at you and your daughter. He has a blaster attached to his right hip, and a long spear attached to his back, his beskar blinking with each speck of light it catches. His posture is straight, hands perfectly at his hands ready to grab whatever he needs at the first sign of danger. He appreciates his weapons. Time is ticking, and you worry he will not give you and your daughter his assistance. Your palms get sweaty and you feel your eyes start to water at the horrific possibility of being stuck on this planet forever.

You don’t expect a Mandalorian to possess the soft nature required to care for and nurture a child, and would a Mandalorian take a random mother and her child under his protection?

“I’ll help,” the modulated voice announces gruffly, his arms moving from their sides to cross over his chest.

You sign in relief and your hands cross over your heart, looking directly into the black visor. And you let a grateful tear drop from your eye.

“Where do they need to go?” The Mandalorian gestures his hand down to you asking the man to his left.

“We just need to leave this planet,” you answer for yourself. Both men turn their attention completely to you. “And we need to leave fast, it’s only a matter of time before my husband comes.”

You stand up picking up your daughter with you and look down to see she has fallen asleep. You reach for the bag that Karga left on his chair for you.

“Wait.” The Mandalorian says sternly. You swallowed as you waited for the worst. Would he retract his kindness?

The Mandalorian must’ve noticed your slight worry, “No, I just need Karga to give me more bounty pucks.” He said with his hands up in defense. “Then we can go.” He finished with a nod your way.

Karga flashed a big smile towards you, “That I can do.”

Karga leaves the room swiftly, leaving you alone with the Mandalorian and your daughter.

You shift your feet from side to side, while still standing up, and you turn your back to the Mandalorian. The intensity of his stare is not lost on you regardless of his face being anonymous. You go into you and I’m your daughter's only bag, looking for your baby carrier, arm getting tired of carrying her. You can still feel the Mandlaorians' eyes on you.

You hear Kargas boots walking speedily on the floor and you turn back towards the door, baby girl now in her carrier.

Karga enters the room and hands the beskar -covered man the pucks. Mustard-colored fingertip gloves grab them and the man stashes them somewhere in his pants.

“I just saw your husband in the cantina,” Karga pressingly informs you. You feel your hands go numb at his information.

“O-Okay, is there another exit?!” You try hard not to panic, but the threat of him being back in your life is too anxiety-inducing.

Karga nods in sympathy, “Yes, dear,” He starts calmly, “Go straight down the hallway and then make a right, there should be a door. No one besides me uses it.”

You quickly nod and lift your hold above your head trying your hardest to conceal your identity. You look at Karga and give him a one-armed hug, “Thank you.” You whisper in his ear. You feel him smile against the side of your face as he pats your back.

The Mandalorian glanced at you both then quickly turns his head away. Karga let’s go of you, “It’s my pleasure,” he says patting your hair. “Start walking to the exit, Mando will meet you, I just need a word with him.”

As Karga starts explaining the route to the exit, a thought flashes through your mind that this is a trap, that Karga is working with your husband and is letting you go off by yourself in hopes that your husband will spot you first. Your eyes flicker between the two men.

No. Karga is a good man and would not do that to you. 

You inhale deeply, “Okay.” You say hesitantly, then shaking your head at the Mandalorian, “I’ll wait for you at the door.”

He doesn’t say anything but grants you a nod.

You leave seeing Karga put his hand on the Mandalorians’ shoulder, and start your walk using Kargas' directions. Down the hallway and make a right.

When you reach the door, you can tell it hasn’t been in use in years. There’s rust on its hinges, and you're sure if you opened it right now the creak would be loud enough to wake your child.

You hear the creak of steel moving towards you, footsteps growing louder with each step, and now face to face with the Mandalorian, He seems taller now that you are closer to him. Your neck hurts having to look up at him, as you note he has to be at least six feet tall. You realize you are blocking the door when the Mandalorian still doesn’t move from his stance before you. You step to the side, and the Mandalorian opens the door for you to exit from first.

The breeze feels refreshing on your skin and the sun is glowing on you about to go away for the day. Nature is a nice reminder that whatever bad has happened there are still the simple beauties of life that you can still count on.

The Mandalorian starts walking away, fast. “My ship isn’t far,” he mutters.

You try to pick up your pace, god he can walk fast.

His ship starts coming to view, the sunlight hitting perfectly on its metal parts. It’s a big ship, the biggest you’ve ever seen. At this point in your life starfighters flying over Navarro are the closest you’ve seen to any kind of ship.

When you reach the ship, the Mandalorian presses a button on his forearm, and a ramp starts to come down from the ship leading to the entrance.

The Mandalorian looks to you and gestures with his hand to the ramp.

“Go on,” he says impatiently.

You hurry up the ship's ramp, one of the Mandalorians' hands hovering over your back and the other touching his holster. His head never looks away from the cantina's doors and pushes the button on his arm again.

The door closes with a loud clicking noise, leaving you, the Mandalorian, and your baby in silence. The ship smells like metal, fuel, and a slight woodsy scent that you can’t quite put your finger on.

“Follow me.” The Mandalorian instructs you. He starts walking to the right of the ship and you pass what looks to be the kitchen, so spotless it’s comical.

He stops walking and you stand in front of a dark gray door with no doorknob. He presses a code on the side of the door and the door slides open from bottom to top. Inside you see a queen-sized bed, but no personal items. It feels like a luxurious jail cell. You do, however, see a small baby cradle next to the bed.

You stop in your movements and peered intently at the cradle. Why does a Mandalorian have a baby cradle on board? He didn’t know you would be on board with him, let alone bringing your daughter with you. You slightly lift your finger and look from the cradle to him with a furrow in your brows, “Why-?” you started.

“You can use that for your daughter” the Mandalorian cut you off immediately. “I will be up in the cockpit, starting our route to another planet. I suggest you get some rest, it will be a long ride.”

You nod in agreement, not wanting to stir any trouble with the man. He turns away quickly, his cape following behind him. Leaving you feeling puzzled

Who is he?

Your daughter is still in a deep slumber in your arms, drool coming out of her mouth and her head tilting to the right side. You carry her to the cradle, already finding a blue fleece blanket. As you are about to place her in her bed, then stop halfway. All the anguish you two have endured the past couple of days, all you want is your baby close.

So, you wrap her in the blanket as best as you can and walk over to the more adult-sized bed. Grabbing a pillow and putting it on one edge of the bed, you put your daughter in the middle, creating a barrier with your body.

Her eyes are closed, and you spot a little drool coming out of her mouth, her light brown curls peeking out of the blanket you wrapped her in, and you are hoping you and your daughter's future can be as tranquil as she looks right now.

You think of the man upstairs, and his kindness to let you escape in his ship. You just hope it isn’t a trick.

A good life, what a joke. 

You pull your baby against your body, and you can start to feel your eyes get droopy, making it hard to keep them open, your arms start to feel heavier and heavier, and you close your eyes allowing yourself to enter a state of never-ending calmness.

Authors note: This is the first story I’ve ever written, it’ll probably be a little rough, but I love the idea I had so much I just had to write it. This will be a slow burn, my fav :) Idk how many chapters yet I’m figuring out as I go along but probably won’t be short. Please let me know what you think, send me a message if you have any notes for me or positive messages, just please be nice, thank you :)