#and very possibly not coherent

[apersonwholikeslotus]

What about Jack and Alfred's relationship? Also, I really like your account :D

OKAY BUT LIKE; Jack was obviously born after Alfred had left. He was William's rebound kid like "oh well! Guess that one didn't work out might as well have another!" but like, a lot more bitter than I can sound through text. Y'know and then Will proceeded to not raise said rebound kid.

That's where Jack's resentment to Alfred starts. Because 'I only exist cause he isn't here'; then there is the William constantly praising Alfred despite acting like he hates him. So then poor Jack is even more confused because??? Do you want me to be nothing like him, or do you want me to be just like him??? or?????

Meanwhile; on the other side of the ocean Alfred is only vaguely aware of Jack's existence, like they don't have a relationship and any semblance of something Jack thinks is a relationship is one-sided on his part.

anyway, their relationship finally starts when Alfred sends Jack (who's probably like 8 btp) a Christmas present. Like out of nowhere, and Matt or Dylan or idk who is like "You need to send him a thank you letter". Jack proceeds to take two months to write this thing because friends, I've never spoken to him before. But eventually its sent. and Alfred decides instead of just letting it be? to send one back? and for like a solid year all of these letters are just 'thank you' 'it's not problem' 'well you took the time to send it' 'it really didn't take that much of an effort I'm just happy you like it' cause neither of them know what to say to each other?????

it takes awhile but eventually they get to other topics, just random things here and there. The letters are consistent but they are something; Jack goes from not liking/being indifferent about Al, to idk, thinking he's pretty cool? Like? He told dad to fuck off and got away with it??? what???? Alfred starts to think Jack is pretty cool too, like bro this kid is possibly the most metal ten yr old known to man?? And he gives dear ol' dad 2.3 heart attacks a day, which is super funny to Al. All good things must come to an end though, and at some point the letter pitter out. I'm thinking like sometime during the Spanish-American war, cause Al came out a super power and in a dick move promptly forgot about little old Jack. It was a two sided thing though, Jack became self-governing and Lord Father wasn't happy about it and basically kicked him out at the age of 13-ish; so he had bigger things to worry about.

Alfred showed back up during WW1 but not really long enough for them to do anything but acknowledge each other before Alfred was back to being an introvert.

WW2 rolls around, the US joins the war and Alfred shows up (begrudgingly) to help Jack and Liam, who are in my hc about 16 and 12. England was very worried about them. Now, Jack is angry about stuff, and he's so worried about keeping Liam safe, and I haven't talked to Mattie or dad or uncle Dylan or Uncle Angus in weeks are they okay???? So despite the fact that for at the very least a few months they're together 24/7 they don't really bond; Jack is stuck between "I need to protect Liam" and "I don't know what I'm doing, I can't protect myself much less someone else" that he just ends up being mad and stubborn while Alfred who's instincts have already added these two children to his Protect At All Costs list is just confused because??? I'm just trying to keep you two safe why do you hate me???

eventually the war ends (thank god); now Liam during the war just added Alfred to his list of People To Cling To Randomly. Alfred was at the bottom of the list albeit, but he was on it. Jack however just got wary of Alfred. He was trustworthy sure, but, this whole thing was technically his first impression of Alfred. and in the middle of a war is not the best time to get a first impression.

by the time the mid-fifties rolled around Alfred in-between stare offs with Ivan decided it was time to actually spend time with his younger two siblings. and this my friends, is when Alfred and Jack finally became the crackhead duo they are; it's not perfect it's really not. But they do get along pretty well, they get in the stupidest arguments like how to make the best pb&j or who Matthieu likes more. Jack rambles about animals for 45 min straight while Alfred listens intently then Alfred rambles about space for 45 min straight while Jack listens intently. It's the only time either of them can sit still that long. combined they give dear ol' dad 4.6 heart attacks a day. There will always be the age gap obviously, and there'll always be the over-arching problem of William and his favoritism. but idk, I think they'll be ok.

[lenaellsi]

Why does aziraphale tells crowley he forgives him??? I literally just finished it and its driving me insane

hello anon! hope you're doing okay after that ending!

that's a hell of a question. there are a few different answers, and i think a lot was going on in aziraphale's head at that particular moment, but this is what I took from it:

-this is a dance aziraphale and crowley have been doing for a long time.

there's some sort of moral conflict. aziraphale repeats heaven's party line. crowley asks a bunch of uncomfortable questions. aziraphale doubles down. crowley calls him an idiot. aziraphale forgives him. crowley storms away. pretty much half of their relationship is built on these kinds of destructive patterns at this point--of course they'd fall back into it during the worst fight they've ever had.

-aziraphale is angry.

he's heartbroken, and he doesn't understand why crowley has decided to abandon him in what should be (from his perspective) the happiest moment of their lives since the fall. he's lashing out, and intentionally hurting crowley in the same way he's been hurt. he's not stupid, no matter how much miscommunication is happening in this scene--telling someone "i forgive you" after they've kissed you is going to hurt, and he knows that.

this reading comes mostly from michael's performance. several people have noted that in the moments immediately after the kiss, aziraphale says "I l--" and then cuts himself off. then he goes on a Michael Sheen Face Journey TM and ends up angry, and that's when we get "I forgive you." whatever else is going on with aziraphale in this moment, he's pissed.

-forgiveness is what aziraphale does.

in aziraphale's very first (modern day) scene of the season, we learn that forgiveness is "one of his favorite things." he forgives maggie's rent, and he forgives gabriel enough to shelter him from heaven and hell while he's vulnerable. it's an instinct for aziraphale, for better or worse, whether it's because it's something he thinks he SHOULD do or something intrinsic to him as a person who desperately wants to do good. occasionally, it's even something he does for his own gain. (see: forgiving maggie was a kind action, but he himself admits that part of his motivation was that she always knows how to find his music.) it makes sense that he would fall back on forgiveness as a framework for understanding a mess of complicated and painful emotions. it makes him feel better, forgiving people, and he needs the comfort of that here.

-he means it.

he forgives crowley for saying no. he forgives crowley for breaking his heart. he forgives crowley for always asking 'damn fool' questions. he forgives crowley for kissing him at the worst possible time. he forgives crowley for falling. he forgives crowley for making him doubt. he forgives crowley for being kind, and clever, and ridiculous, and special, and someone he couldn't help but fall in love with, no matter how much it hurts them both.

and unfortunately, forgiveness is the one thing that will always make crowley walk away.

[catabasis]

some of my thoughts and interpretations of the scene between Jones Hall and Schubert Green (the director of the play), and the scene between Jones and the actress playing Augie's wife:

assuming Conrad was already dead by the time these scenes take place, the moment between Jones and Schubert could be read as Jones processing his grief and going through the stages of grief. he shows some anger, or rather frustration, and he begins to question his own performance and interpretation of Augie (“am i doing him right?”). he's obviously affected by the story, he keeps getting his heart broken every night as he performs the play, and he searches for a meaning and a reason, bargaining with the play director (“do i just keep doing it? without knowing anything?” isn't there supposed to be some kind of an answer out there in the cosmic wilderness?”) Jones says he still doesn't understand the play, and Schubert reassures him, saying that it doesn't matter, that he should just keep telling the story. now this is the moment when i think the context shifts and the subject of the conversation turns to Conrad and Jones' grief. by telling the story/performing the play, Conrad's memory as well as Jones' grief are kept alive. Schubert's “you're doing him right” can be read as Jones doing a good job at performing Augie, but also as Jones doing right by Conrad, by what he wrote and his memory. there's no right way to mourn/grief, but Jones is mourning Conrad in his own way by playing the character that they both created and keeping Conrad's art and memory alive.

acceptance comes in the scene between Jones and the actress. Jones doesn't remember the dialogue, but the actress does, and by recollecting the deleted scene of the dream, Conrad speaks to Jones one last time through the wife/actress. “i think you'll need to replace me” “i think you'll need to try. i'm not coming back, Augie.” thanks to these words, Jones finds comfort and closure, as Conrad, across time and space, in a scene written even before his untimely death, urges him to move on. Jones remembers Augie's final line in the dream: “all my pictures come out”, which could also be read as Jones' performance, because even when he thought he didn't understand the play or what he was performing, he was doing it right, and with this understanding, he can now consciously use his own grief in his performance.

as Jones returns to the play, and the car with Augie and his family leaves Asteroid City, both Augie and Jones move on.

[mossy-aro]

kinda frustrating how so much aspec content (esp stuff published in like mainstream outlets) is literally just made for allos. like it’s always some article that’s just going over aspec 101 terminology and explaining various concepts and words aimed at a clearly allo audience.

i’m not saying those aren’t important because part of the issue aspecs face is how invisibilised we are and yes! it’s super important to raise awareness and let people know we exist! but it’s also kind of frustrating how it feels like 99% of not only our time but also all wider coverage about us is spent explaining our identities and giving ted talks to allos instead of like . discussing aspec issues and identity with any sort of depth or nuance.

Angela Chen (who wrote a book on asexuality) talked about thinking about aro/ace-ness not just as an identity but also a viewpoint or a ‘lens’ to examine issues through which i thought was interesting! like how does aro/ace identity intersect with our ideas of feminism, or of race? how does aromanticism inform our critique of the nuclear family and the institution of marriage?? how does asexuality play into our view of sexual politics? how does lovelessness deconstruct our ideas of ‘humanity’? there is so much to get into and so much ground that has never been covered but we are stuck!! on giving definitions!!

idk i don’t really have a solution here! because i know that on the one hand we need these kinds of articles that give streams of ‘aspec 101’ definitions because any visibility helps, but also i am so tired of having to dumb everything down instead of having actual discussions about aspec identities and what they can tell us. like hopefully we’ll get to a point eventually where we don’t have to do this but i’m still just. kinda tired :/

[unforth]

Since I've seen several posts floating around that try to rebut the points of @end-otw-racism by saying that AO3 is too big to moderate, can we PLEASE take a moment and remember that AO3 IS ALREADY HEAVILY MODERATED.

We all know the obvious one - that if you post anything about monetizing fic, you will be moderated into oblivion. We also all know why! This is essential to AO3's survival as a non-profit! No one would propose changing this!

But a lot of people seem to forget that AO3 is moderated in other ways! For a personal example, several years ago I got a "change this or we're removing your work" e-mail. The work in question? A collection of pseudo-ficlets that were somewhere between outlines and sketchy fics. What I got moderated for? I said in the a/n that if anyone wanted to expand my kinda-outliney nonsense into fully fleshed out stories, they were welcome to do so! I was told this was a violation of the ToS, because fics that are collections of prompts aren't allowed, and that if I didn't change the a/n I'd have to delete the work. Of course I edited the a/n, and my work was allowed, and I moved on. I did, immediately, delete another work I'd posted, which WAS literally sets of prompts I'd written free to a good home. It was clearly in violation of those rules, and I just hadn't realized content like that wasn't allowed.

Numerous things are forbidden on AO3 and will get moderated and potentially deleted, including:

advertising

"find a fic" posts

spam

plagiarized works

virus spreading

doxxing

actual CSAM

lots of other stuff as listed in the tos

If the foundation of your argument is "AO3 is too big to moderate" your argument is bad. AO3 is already moderated.

So that means your ACTUAL argument is "I think AO3 is moderated enough as-is and I don't think AO3 should be moderated in a way that might better protect fans of color."

Having that attitude despite the many, many, MANY fans of colors who say "hey, we don't feel safe here, can this be better moderated to protect us?" (when, by the way, the existing harassment policy SHOULD protect them but clearly isn't being implemented in ways that actually DOES protect them!)

Well. That's sure a take.

(TO BE CLEAR: I am anti-censorship. I am pro-moderation. I am pro-AO3. I fucking love your dark fic, your underage works, your non-con stories, your kinky pwp with "no redeeming qualities," your dirty-wrong-bad ego fics. I would NEVER want a solution that removed that content. And I believe AO3 is the greatest thing to happen to fic in my lifetime and I want it to continue to be the wonderful thing it is. I think that what AO3 already is can be reconciled with the demands of fans of color that they be better protected. I believe fans of color when they say that the current policies don't protect them adequately, that they don't feel safe, that this drives them out of white western fandom. I've listened a lot, and I've seen a lot, and I've learned a lot, and I want AO3 to be better than it is in this regard. I'm honestly kinda depressed how many people seem comfortable with the status quo.)

[mymarifae]

stupid fucking titty window distracted me on my first few watches (don,xt talk to me ok) but he has his hand held behind his back here... clutching his chips for dear life.. hiding the way he's shaking.........

[snailcubezz]

penguins of madagascar was like tf2 shorts for kids . does this make sense

[eeblouissant]

in this essay I need to talk about the way Dorothy acts around & reacts to stan in this clip (season 4 ep 5) specifically or I will simply perish.

enjoy the unorganized (unedited, and definitely not reread) chaos, this will be more of a ramble than anything - it’s so late & I need to get these thoughts out of my head before I explode.

Firstly, the clip in question:

( 1:15 - 2:22 )

now. Oh boy. Where do I even begin.

As much as I know it was done for comedic effect; the way Dorothy doesn’t hesitate to let herself cuddle into stan (STAN!!! CUDDLING. with STAN. And **publicly** there are so many layers here) when he puts an arm around her, describing what probably were the happier times Dorothy’s mentioned having with him despite it all (or at least a version of them. his version, that he’d created in an attempt to persuade her, as we learn pretty quickly) - oh god it just breaks my heart. She lets herself feel those memories for just a moment, before it all inevitably comes crashing down again. The way she snaps so quickly… that’s something we do not see in younger Dorothy. Younger Dorothy comes off much more passive-aggressive leaning more on the passive (shy?) side, she’s just very logical & no nonsense (but not in the way she is now). That’s something that Dorothy never really loses - Whereas current Dorothy has lost that (passiveness) completely with stan, and seems find it natural to come off as “aggressive” & dominating around/toward others. So - that ability to shut off & become defensive like that, & so fast, was developed later on. She’s got a bite now that was learned, because she had to bite to survive. For her own sanity. Do you know how much work that would take to unlearn & heal, if she ever even tried? oh my. Yeah I’m not well. I don’t think she would have much faith in it changing either, it’s become such a part of her. I think she would feel a little lost without it.

That first bit kills me - but what kills me about this scene most, is that last bit. Where she tries to push back further with a comment she know will be funny and just a little hurtful (towards stan, im sure she thought) and that will further deflect. But it backfires and hurts her instead. Her voice breaks. It breaks and her eyes soften and it looks like that just for a moment she lets the hurt shine through. Because that is especially painful, she cannot bury it. Her entire demeanour changes as those last few words are delivered (and Oh My God do they register fast - like she’d reopened that wound having no idea it was going to sting so badly.) and I just - oh my GOD. For that split second she looks like she might crack, the pain in her voice is so clear. & then the walls go right back up & it’s pushed right back down. I cannot deal. I absolutely cannot. Dorothy has let herself be vulnerable in the past, but has there ever been more than maybe (maybe) a handfull of instances where her voice & face soften that way? Anyway, I’m absolutely losing it over those little details. I’ve yet to find another scene where it feels like younger Dorothy shines through in the current. It hurt my heart so good and I cannot stop thinking about it :’) I think this is my sign to rebinge every episode in order. Because I am definitely forgetting - there has to be more.

Okay that’s all for now! If any of you have any thoughts or personal fav scenes (etc) to share as well please feel free!!! Dorothy angst seems to be my drug of choice lately lmao

(like two bits of this were my own interpretations of Dorothy’s character based on observation, don’t take them as canon nor am I claiming they are, because we obviously don’t know exactly what happened in between + younger Dorothy didn’t have much screen time :’)! Headcanons are just so much fun to throw around!!)

She <333 <33333333 <3 <3 <3 heart heart heart xxoo literal angel

[malewifeph1lza]

anyway I am thinking about ckristin and phil they are Everything

[bravevolunteer]

idk when i made my movie verse i was trying to keep it as unobtrusive as possible since everything was so fresh but man….. thinking about all the mike afton theories where he wasn’t necessarily too young to remember anything related to that but his “memories” are just so unreliable due to trauma

[its-short-for-jackalope]

"John's Choice" is proof that Matt Dahan and Curt Mega are definitely magical because we know from the beginning, with no doubt or question, it is 100% Fact™, we are explicitly told that it's a hoax, but when John makes his choice to keep it going we get whammied with all these emotions anyway and I just. yeah.

[a-lonely-tatertot]

No wait okay jay and may right. Mother and daughter but not just that: its mother and daughter surrounded by empty rooms. A slow funnel out the door to the ocean leaving them alone with their grief.

Drey's gone to be a pirate, but thats fine cause may serves pirates at her bar even if jayson hates it. Jay just wants to know where her uncle went but its fine cause avas still there. But then they hear about the black sea and then they never hear from drey again. (Jayson never told them he found him. Jayson never told them what happened.)

But then ava joins raft and they couldnt be more proud. But now may has less help in the bar but thats okay cause jays getting older and the town loves her and its fine. Theres no one for jay to play with anymore but thats okay cause shes likes to help her mom! May doesnt sleep because her husband doesnt come home at night and her daughters somewhere she cant reach (did may hate the idea of her daughters joining raft? Did she know she could never keep her family from the sea? Is the fate of a Ferin to have their fire doused?). Then they get a letter and ava's never coming home. And Jayson stops visiting all together.

So May loses her brother in law, then her daughter, and finally her husband. Because hes becoming what his family's meant to. A force on the sea, out to kill whoever killed their baby. But may cant deal with her grief, because shes got another little girl whos terrified but shes even more angry. So they hold each other up, in an empty house with a bar that never stops because may is not someone who stops caring and she will care for this place and all it attracts.

And then jay meets a pirate with stories of a man she hadnt heard about in forever and hasnt seen for even longer. And jay gets up and leaves the nest with much hesitancy because she knows then her mother would be alone and as much as jays afraid of something happening while shes gone shes afraid of abandoning the woman who had been left countless times. But mays never anything but selfless, and she knows she could've never kept a ferin from the ocean. So may is left again and jay never stops writing her letters like everyone else did. Because jay never wishes to abandon her mother.

There is something special to me ab may and jay's relationship because they are all they have left anymore. I think the moment of jay yelling and begging for jayson to go home to his wife was probably something she wished for even before she turned on raft. Because the moment her sister died she stopped being a child she became her mothers equal. And i cant imagine how much it pained her that not only had her father left her, for his work, that he tried to kill her and her new family, but that now he was keeping her from her mother who was dying. Who she loves because thats the woman who raised her on her own and loved her with everything she had and now her father refused to check on his wife to the point he thought jay was lying to him trying to leverage may (jay probably couldnt even fathom that because it had never worked before, either of them in pain was never enough to make him stay)

I wonder if may's "he does love you" comes from a place of begging that he had a reason to abandon them. And i think if may dies jay would never forgive her father and i think it would ruin her.

Anyways all this to say i am very normal about the ferins and may and jay and what theyve gone through together.

[karamazovposting]

I always say I have literary analysis posts in my drafts and I swear I do but I never post them because I don't even finish writing them as I'm not confident in my writing abilities at all so yeah

[aeide-thea]

the problem for me with both witcher s3 and wot s2—well, okay, one of a few problems, but the one i'm singling out at the moment—is that i've just reached a point with SFF where i've largely used up what little patience i ever possessed for the 'young trainee gets frustrated that they're not progressing faster and gets reckless' trope?

like it's not that it's not a plausible way for someone to behave, it totally is! but. i don't know. i need a, like, decade-long break where i just get stories starring middle-aged people who have, probably painfully, learned some damn patience and slow perseverance…

[it-hurts-because-it-mattered]

Is there any mix of frustration and satisfaction quite like watching something with an actor you love, someone you will absolutely watch things just because they're in them, but you have skipped this particular thing for years for whatever reason, and then you discover it's something you absolutely love in its own right?

[welcometogrouchland]

Also, vaguely related to the last post: I do think sometimes ppl overstate the like. Importance of religion/Christian culture when writing about the Wittebane brothers-

(not that it's not a very strong element of the story that Philip is a critique of Christian institutions, but rather bc, based on what we know, both of them stopped holding explicit Christian values at some point during adulthood, if they ever really cared and weren't just witch-hunting for social clout/material gains like the reenactment in thanks to them shows. Philip only uses it as an ideological shield to buster his own notion of heroism, as in, he knows Christianity is Good but he can't be bothered to actually demonstrate it's values (like not murdering your brother) which fits with his primary metaphor as a colonist/modern conservative.(bc something something social norms and dominant groups and excuse to commit heinous crimes you know are heinous but are apathetic towards) and uh. I think it's safe to say Caleb wasn't super concerned about things like sex w/in marriage when he was already bumping a supposed 'servant of the dark' (Evelyn, my faceless darling beloved). Okay, tangent over)

-but I will be the first to admit that, as an ex-catholic, sometimes applying a twisted version of the imagery associated with Christianity to a story about murder and betrayal fucks severely. even if I don't think it would hold great significance to Philip as a person/character if he were to creepily hum "oil in my lamp" as he lights the ring of fire that he and Caleb have their death match in (he's sooooo culturally Christian who considers himself an enlightened atheist on Reddit core)...the idea and how it'd look to us as an audience? Based.