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joeloverture · 5 months

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comeuppance | qz!j.m. x f!reader

masterlist | notifs blog

pairing: qz!joel miller x f!reader summary: [post outbreak] when your recklessness causes an arms deal to go south, joel makes sure you regret it. warnings: (18+ mdni) qz!joel, age gap (late 20s/early 50s), written with hbo!joel in mind but with game!joel lore, guns, mentioned executions, misogynistic names outside (and in!) a sexual context, canon-typical violence as in murder (joel kills a soldier 'on-screen'), reader is a little shit but joel is worse, darkish & dubcon, spanking as a punishment, gunplay, attempted boot humping, degradation, humiliation, one kick to the cunt, mean!joel, orgasm denial [no use of y/n] word count: 2.7k a/n: this is my (admittedly late) submission for @iamasaddie's writing challenge 2.0! my prompt was 'you can't hide forever'. the genre was technically dark but joel himself isn't scarily dark here. thank you so much to aly for, once again, bringing this fandom together with her challenges. it's a steep task but she does a great job every time! and even more thanks to @joelsdagger and @lovesickonmybed for helping me brainstorm! (i have half of a brain without my wonderfully creative friends).

It only takes one deal gone south to fuck everything up.

You know the compass is already ticking that way the moment you and Joel, your longtime smuggling partner, enter the abandoned warehouse. Much like everything else in the Boston QZ, it’s falling apart. The corrugated metal walls are pitted with rust, and old blood is caked all over the floors. In another life, it might’ve been a slaughterhouse, but there’s no real way of knowing. It’s been long enough that any signage has deteriorated. The building’s state of decay, however, isn’t what messes things up.

It’s the singular man that walks in from the opposite side of the atrium.

FEDRA’s favorite executioner. Slitted eyes far apart, thinned out lips, and graying black hair. Rarely seen away from the gallows, only recognizable to you from all of the nightmares you’ve had of his face being the last you see.

If it were drugs, you’d think nothing of it. FEDRA soldiers buy quietly from you all of the time – but they have no need for guns that they don’t already have.

Joel steps forward, merchandise in the duffel bag over his shoulder, none the wiser. A knot ties itself in the base of your throat. You’re too busy trying to figure out what to do, what to do, what to do that you barely even realize that the soldier has a gun aimed right between your eyes until you’re looking right down the barrel.

Your hand jerks to your holster, drawing your pistol in one swipe.

“Drop your fucking gun!” he barks in your direction. It clatters out of your hands. “Don’t you dare fucking move.” Your hands fly up as you take a step back, nearly stumbling into a nearby crate. “Joel Miller and his bitch,” the man sneers. “What a lucky find. You two have quite the bounty on your heads.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Joel says, face completely blank.

“Easy for you to say,” the guard says with a nagging smirk. “Your little cunt here already did. Pretty fucking dumb not to check who you’re selling your merchandise to, huh?”

Joel tenses, ultimately huffing through his nose. “Can we get this over with?”

“I’ll make it easy, Miller. Come with me alive so I get paid, or come with me dead so I still get paid.”

Joel’s fingers twitch behind his back, and after almost three years of working with him, it’s impossible not to pick up on the subtext. Keep him busy. His hand is already reaching for the revolver in his back pocket.

“Turn the other way. I can make this worth your time,” you say. “But you’re lucky if those sons of bitches you work for even offer you half the reward they’ve posted for us. Dragging the bodies from Area 5 to the closest checkpoint… you’d have your work cut out for you.”

“Yeah fucking right,” he spits. “You two have been running around free for too damn long. Causing too much trouble. Not anymo–”

The man’s mouth freezes around the words by the time the bullet soars throat the canvas fabric of Joel’s duffel bag and through the man’s jugular. The soldier’s hands claw for his throat while he gargles on the blood as he begins the descent to the ground. New blood, still pumping directionless from the split artery, joins the old.

Much like him, where he’s slumping against the ground, chest moving until the very end, your hands clutch at your own throat. “We need to go,” you say, knowing the rest of FEDRA will come looking for the firefight at any second now. Joel doesn’t move. “Joel!” You reach out to tug his sleeve, but he doesn’t react. “Jesus– move!”

Joel turns to face you, gun still hanging from his hand. His fingers flex around the grip. “What the hell were you thinkin’, little girl?” You can hear his breathing, amplified from how close he is to you. His once inexpressive face is now red, lips curled, skin tight like a crushed soda can.

“I– what?”

“Not vettin’ your buyers. First fuckin’ thing I told you all them years ago, wasn’t it? Gotta check so you don’t sell shit to the wrong guy, yeah?” He stalks closer to you – you stumble back.

Not vetting the now dead executioner, whose blood is currently creeping up to the soles of your boots. Your mistake, yes, a potentially catastrophic one that you’ll definitely never make again after this, but he’d been on your ass about finding buyers and after an entire day of burning bodies, the last thing you wanted to do was go asking around about the ‘John’ in search of guns that you’d talked to over the radio tower.

“We’re alive, aren’t we?”

Joel finally jerks his sleeve away from your grip. Your hand falls slack by your side, burning from his fire stoker touch. “And you oughta count your fuckin’ blessings for that. Dumbfuck of a girl, gonna get me killed,” he spits. Spittle flies across your neck.

You flinch – and not because you’re scared. You’ve never seen him like this before. You hear noise in the distance, the moving of FEDRA trucks, no doubt. “Joel! We can do this later – we need to fucking go–”

“Then you better start running,” he says gruffly.

You don’t need to be told twice.

You sprint out of the atrium, cursing as your bloodied soles carve tracks behind you. A stack of crates blocks the door, which you vault over and shimmy your way through the broken glass panel. The hallway ahead of you is dark, and you have no idea where the fuck you’re going, only that you can’t stop. Each impact of your foot on the ground is like being struck by lightning, carbonating the racing blood pumping through your body. More glass crunches behind you, and a shock of terror pierces you when you hear Joel’s snarls filling the corridor.

There’s a metal cart in your way, which you send whirling in Joel’s direction. He grunts, presumably hitting him in the stomach before it goes clattering on the ground. You make the most of the diversion, hurtling forward and lurching through a cracked door.

Dead fucking end.

An office, by the looks of it. Desks all over the place, leftover tasks still pinned on cork boards from outbreak day, chairs on their sides. You hear Joel huffing and puffing behind you, and fear forks through you. You fall to your hands and knees, crawling underneath the labyrinth of desks and tucking yourself against a wall, carpet-burned hand to your mouth to muffle your breathing. Your chest avalanches with every single breath.

“You ain’t off the hook,” Joel says, voice getting closer with every word. You can hear the thump of his boots against the carpet. See the spread of his shadow roaming across the wall. You squint through the seam of two desks. He's looking over his shoulder when you haul yourself across the room to the next closest desk.

You look around for anything that might get you out of this long enough to slip back out of the door. If you can make it back to the apartment, maybe he can cool off on his own walk back. You reach up for a stapler and take a brief second to peek over a filing cabinet before flinging it against the wall. It snaps open, spilling decades old staples all over the floor.

“Only a clicker’s fallin’ for that,” he tuts at you. His boots land on the floor again, one, two, three steps closer to you. You wince, balling your hands into fists.

All you can hear is the thrashing of your own heart. You scooch away from the desk – maybe if you throw something small at him, like a pack of sticky notes, it’ll be enough to abduct his attention long enough for you to slip by–

“You can’t hide forever,” Joel goddamn coos at you. You see him bending at the waist, scoping out the undersides of desks, seeking you out–

You crawl out from under the desk and book it to the door.

Stupid. Fucking. Idea.

Joel hauls you back by the belt loop, laughing as you cry out. You try squirming away, kicking at him, but his other arm wraps around your torso. It hits you then that you have no idea what he might do to you. You’ve trusted him with your life before, but what would he do when you risked his? You’d always been too scared to find out. He spins you, slamming you over the desk. You cry out as your chest meets the wood. His hand drags your wrists together, pinning them at the small of your back.

“Let me – the fuck– go!” you yell at him, trying to bend your elbow at the right angle to nail him in the chest.

He tightens his grip so much that you can barely move an inch. “Made your fuckin’ bed, gotta lie in it, sweetheart,” he tuts, shaking his head at you. His hand grazes over your ass, and you stiffen as he looms over you. He is just a man. Your mind spins to the worst-case scenario. No, no, no, no–

“How about an… old-fashioned corporal punishment to set ya straight?” Within the next second, he’s yanking your jeans down your thighs.

Oh. Oh fuck.

“Joel–” you exhale, breath shuddery. “Knock it off–”

“No panties? I was gonna be nice and spank ya over them…” Joel frowns at you. “Poor baby. ‘S gonna sting real bad.”

You snap at him, “What, you want me to go to the local QZ Victoria’s Secret?”

Joel swats, hard, across your asscheek.

You’ve seen how intense Joel’s brute strength can be. You’ve just never been on the receiving end of it. A cry pushes out of your throat, and you hunch over the desk as you struggle helplessly against Joel. Tears spring at your eyes.

Mercifully, Joel runs his calloused palm over the smarting skin. “Shh, shh, shh, shh. ‘S okay, Jus’ gotta teach ya a lesson. Make sure it sticks.” He strokes the nape of your neck as you whimper into the desk.

You tense up in preparation for the second hit, but, if anything, it just makes the impact worse. It prickles your other cheek, leaving your knees shaky. And God help you, your clit twitches. Twitches. Your thighs are already heating up, and you can’t help but squirm in a good way underneath Joel. A single tear slips over your waterline, and you have to tilt your head into the shoulder of your shirt to wipe it off. You don’t want him to see you weak – not that weak.

The next spank makes him grunt from how hard he swings his palm into your backside. “Joel!” you shout, pain nearly splitting you in two. Your feet raise off of the ground as you prop yourself up on the desk, kicking uselessly at his shins. All he does is chuckle at you.

Horror sinks like a cinderblock in your stomach when you realize that your hole, leaking slick, is practically fucking winking at him. You thank the darkness. It’s about the only good thing about this place.

“You don’t like that?” he mock-pouts at you. It’s enough to make you throb. The opposite, you’d say if you could.

A series of spanks follows, but at least these are lighter, and in rapid succession. Still, you jerk with each impact, squirming so that your fingers dance in his grip. “Stupid little girl. Thought you could sell our shit to a FEDRA bitch and get off scot-free? Really thought you could get away from me, huh?”

You try clamming up, desperately attempting to close your legs together. You squeeze your thighs together, relieved at the pressure – and then you hear a resounding click behind you.

You still.

Joel’s gun, still fucking hot from the bullet it’d fired right into the executioner’s throat, traces up the small of your back… all the way to your throat. “Could put one right here,” Joel whispers, more to himself than you. “Show ya what happens to girls that don’t follow orders.” He jams it into your skin, and you hiss at the pain, at the bruise it’s sure to leave. And in spite of it all, you fucking gush. God, you’re fucked up.

He wouldn’t kill you – he needs you more than you need him. But common sense isn’t enough to prevent the thrill, the arousal smiting your body from head to toe.

“I’ll reconsider if ya give it a kiss.” He nudges the barrel carefully against your lips and you stop breathing for a second, maybe two. “Go on. Give it some lovin’. Suck it like a cock. I know you’re good at it. Hear all the guys you bring over.”

You whimper at the thought of Joel listening to you getting your hook ups off – at the thought of him fisting his own cock while he listens. Obediently, you part your lips, slowly, ever so slowly, taking the gun down your throat. It fills your mouth up in such a strange way – all hard edges. It’d be freezing cold if not for the fact that it’s a weapon of death, a scythe in its own way. One press of the trigger, and you’d be just like the guard. You suck even harder at it, eyes rolling back in your skull. Your thighs twitch, stripes of slick running down your thighs.

Joel reaches between your legs, grabbing at the meat of your inner thigh to spread you open. Instead, he gets a handful of the arousal that’s been pooling between your legs since he first bent you over the desk.

You freeze, pausing your ministrations on the pistol. He himself freezes before he drags his hips over your folds. His finger pads hover over your swollen clit before he properly rubs you once, and then twice. Your hips cant into the closest thing – his hand.

Joel makes a disgusted noise and swats your leaking pussy before shoving you forward and stepping back. You’re panting, properly fucked out even though he’d barely touched you. Cross-eyed, tongue hanging out, face hot. He looks you up and down, brows furrowing with revulsion. “Horny fuckin’ bitch. Creamin’ all over me. That long since you got action that a spankin’ and a gun in your mouth is all it takes to get you riled up? Pathetic.” He shoves the gun back in his pocket, still shining with your saliva.

He wipes your wetness all over your leg, grabs the back of your collar, and drags you to the floor in one foul swoop. You fall on your hands and knees again, ass still stinging from his treatment, lightheaded from how needy you are. Even his brutal treatment makes you whimper.

You reach for his calf, pulling yourself up to brace your dripping cunt against his boot. You rut against it, not even fully cognizant of your movements as you roll your hips, praying that he lets you have this if nothing else. Your orgasm, wetting his boot thoroughly. Your scent, clinging to him on the walk back to the apartment. You buck into the boot, moaning as the toe bumps against your clit. It might be enough, if you could just do it one more time–

Joel tears his shoe out from underneath you, face pinched with aversion. “No!” you cry, still grabbing for his calf. You fall onto your back, legs spread and panting. Your ass needles from his spanking. The ceiling tiles spin above you.

The same toe you’d been humping kicks into your cunt, and you yelp, curling in on yourself. Another tear slides down your burning cheek as you reach down to cup your sore pussy. Even that pressure feels like touching a live wire.

Joel looks down at his shining boot and makes a disgusted noise. “Does humiliatin’ yourself always get ya dicked down?”

He turns around, already walking away from you without a care in the world. The gun grip pokes out of his pocket, taunting you.

“Pull your goddamn pants up and get a move on. Curfew’s soon.”

#vetty's words 𓇢𓆸 #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller/reader #joel miller fic #writing challenge 2.0

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vaguely-concerned · 6 months

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Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.) This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that.

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them.

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly.

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much.

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.)

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

#garashir #elim garak #julian bashir #star trek ds9 #ds9 #star trek #ds9 meta #S2EP22 The Wire #alternate title: baby's first brush with unconditional love through unreliable narration lol #I'm not sure I got to say everything I want to in this/found the exact right words in places or hit all the nuances #but god help me I so desperately need this out of my brain to free up some disc space so go forth little meta haha be free #I'm sure I'll come back to you in time #meta #enabran tain #(derogatory)

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bobfloydsbabe · 3 months

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arranged marriage au | rhett abbott x oc | sneak peek

Author's Note: This story it set at the turn of the 20th century, somewhere around 1899-1901. I haven't quite decided yet, but it's important context for this story. Women did not have a lot of autonomy at this time, which is reflected in Rhett and Lou's conversation in this sneak peek. Is the timeline right in a historical context? Probably not, but it's fiction, so I can do what I want. Enjoy!

Release Date: Unclear

“Louisa.”

“What?” Her face is all hard lines and thundering eyes. Something twists inside him at the sight of her ire.

“I don’t want to own you,” he says and steps closer, dirt crunching under his worn boots. “Your life is your own, even after we marry.”

She shakes her head, tears pooling in her dark eyes, making his chest feel tight. He yearns to move even closer, wrap his arms around her, and assure her that he doesn’t mean her any harm. Despite not having a choice, he wants to marry her. He wants to build a life and have a family with her.

He’s halfway in love with her already. He hopes one day she’ll love him too.

“You say that now,” she says, tears in her voice as she speaks. “But then I’ll argue or refuse to listen, and you’ll remind me you’re the man and you get the final say. You may not want to, but you will own me.”

Now he shakes his head, disbelief coursing through his veins. It’s the most preposterous thing he’s ever heard, and he hates that she thinks that way about him.

“Louisa,” he breathes, her name like a prayer on his lips as he closes the distance between them. “You belong to you. Not your father or to me or to anyone, and I’ll do what I can to prove it to you.”

She meets his gaze, bottom lip wobbling as she tries to hold back sobs. “You swear?”

He nods, lifts his hands and tentatively cups her cheeks. “I swear.”

Tension hangs heavy in the air between them, and without thinking, Rhett bends his head down towards hers. His heart thunders in his chest as their breaths mix, and heat blooms under his palms as Louisa’s cheeks grow red.

Their lips are a hair’s breadth from touching when a horse neighs, making her pull back and Rhett’s hands fall back at his side.

“I should get you home.”

He offers the crook of his arm, and she weaves her hand into it, letting him lead her to their horses. Their boots drag across the dirt, and Rhett helps her up on Sally, the reddish brown mare that belongs to his almost wife.

He settles on Blazer, and they begin the ride back to the Kinney Ranch.

“Rhett?”

If her scent didn’t linger, he might’ve forgotten she was even there. He looks to his right and finds her watching him, maybe even with a smile at the corner of her mouth.

“The house is lovely,” she tells him, tone shy and withdrawn for the first time since he’s known her.

likes are nice, but reblogs and comments are golden

TAGLIST: @bobgasm, @attapullman, @cherrycola27, @bradshawsbaby, @kmc1989, @keyrani

#rhett abbott #rhett abbott fic #rhett abbott x oc #outer range #outer range fic #helena writes #writtenbyme #mywriting #arranged marriage au #historical romance au #oc: lou kinney #otp: rhett x lou #lewis pullman

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mrkified · 4 months

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ONE NIGHT ONLY — 9. life360 doesn’t gatekeep

synopsis — three years since your falling out with lee donghyuck he has suddenly transfered to your college in hopes to make it big with his friends in his band. unfortunately for you, your unresolved friendship started causing problems between you and the people around you, especially since your best friend is his ex. so — why have you found yourself in his room with a raging hangover?

a/n; IM SO SORRY FOR ANOTHER WRITTEN PART

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YOU SLOWED DOWN YOUR CAR AS YOU TURNED INTO THE PARKING LOT.

the arcade your friends decided to go to was called ‘pete’s paradise’. it was slightly small but jam packed with different rows filled with a variety of games. your friends always loved to go there after yangyang got off work to play air hockey. anton always complained that karina was too good for the group and never wanted to go against her because he knew he would lose. when you walked up to the entrance to pete’s haechan and jisung were standing by the doors waiting for you to arrive. you said your hello’s to the two of them entered the building.

you immediately spotted your friends by the dance dance revolution machine, jaemin and giselle were both playing while anton was bickering with yangyang and karina.

“well it’s not my fault you were acting like we haven’t seen each other for ten years” anton shrugged.

“it’s called an expression you idiot” karina rolled her eyes. “your brain just too small to figure out context clues” she turned away from anton and noticed you three at the door.

“yn! you’re here!” she ran over and gave you a hug. the rest of the group followed after when they noticed she said your name.

“i see you followed our advice and brought jisung! just a little surprise to see haechan too” giselle spoke up, as it was your turn to give her a hug next.

“um yeah.. we didn’t want to exclude him i hope that’s okay” you were quite nervous about giselle and haechan in the same room but hopefully she would stay true to her word and not be too bothered with you two.

after awhile things tended to get less awkward and everyone was having fun — anton was playing whack-a-mole with jisung, yangyang was with jaemin and giselle and they were playing some racing game, and that left karina with you as haechan went to the bathroom. you took the time spent with her to tell her about how you’ve been feeling so you could finally get advice from a third party.

“haechan has a crush on me. he told me a few days ago and i don’t know how to feel about it. i mean i had a crush on him in high school but it was too late, he was already with giselle. now i feel like i shouldn’t do anything about it because you know how heartbroken he left her and i don’t want to make her upset or uncomfortable” you were fidgeting with your fingers when you looked at her as she was trying to piece together a response.

“well you can’t control someone you like. i know you don’t want to hurt giselle but i think you should go for it. they broke up almost four years ago, plus she has a really nice thing going on with jaemin right now. she did say not to date him and as much as i don’t want secrets in the group, you should date him” she was confirming the only real way you had to go about this — a secret relationship.

“he’s taking me on a date later after we leave”

“what about jake? you didn’t break up that long ago, i know your feelings for haechan are genuine but you still got hurt recently” her voice was filled with concern.

“i am definitely hurt but i think him leaving me for yuna made me feel like there wasn’t even a point for me to even be upset, he was distant even before we broke up there really isn’t any surprises” karina looked at you like she was giving you her approval and that’s all you needed. you would talk to giselle on your own soon but first you had to put your relationship with donghyuck first.

while you were having your talk with karina, giselle was also having a conversation with yangyang.

“i feel a little upset with them being together if i’m being honest, but i know i should probably get over it” she gave a slight smile as she knew that she couldn’t block out what was happening between you two. “i know they’ve been best friends for years and now that they’ve rekindled it i shouldn’t feel this way, but i just feel a lot of the repressed emotions from before i guess”

“and your feelings are valid you know,” yangyang took a slight pause. “he was your first real relationship, your first true love. it would only make sense it hurts to see him”

“i just don’t want to ruin this for yn. she’s my best friend and i don’t want to hurt her because i ‘forbid’ her from associating someone she spent so many years with”

“just give it time — for now just focus on the fashion show and then give it some more thought after” yangyang squeezed her hand as he got up and walked with her back over to where jaemin was playing skee-ball.

for the next 2 hours everyone spent time rotating the games until it was the time to go their separate ways. you said goodbye to everyone until it was time to finally leave with haechan.

“you ready?” haechan took your hand and guided you to your car.

“are you ready to be a passenger princess?”

“i’m always ready to be your passenger princess you don’t even need to ask” he got into the car and showed you where he wanted to take you — a small shopping district not too far away from where you were.

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lilislegacy · 7 months

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an analysis: piper calling percy unimpressive

(warning: i wrote this at 1 am)

so basically

remember how we all despised piper mclean when she had the audacity to call our beloved percy “unimpressive” and we all lost our shit on the inside a little bit?

i truly don’t think she meant it in the way we think she did. i think we’re all just defensive of our boy.

piper clearly states that she is comparing percy to jason. first of all, jason is her boyfriend, so of course she’s biased. second of all, hera was manipulating piper to be obsessed with jason. so other guys and girls are automatically unimpressive to her.

and here’s the big thing: piper does not call him unattractive. she does not call him ugly. she simply says he’s not her type. piper is clearly attracted to the “good boy” look. jason is literally your all-american boy. he’s tall with light skin, a sturdy build, neat blonde hair, and blue eyes. part of why annabeth doesn’t trust him is because she is unsettled by his “perfect” appearance. jason is also obedient and well-mannered. he’s your standard good boy.

and the fact of the matter is: percy looks like a “bad boy”. and often, he acts like one too. him and jason are contrasts of each other. a symbolic representation of this: their features. percy has a darker complexion, messy black hair, unique green eyes, and a “sarcastic troublemaker smile.” he’s muscular, but in a leaner and more trim way. he’s tall, but he’s not a towering muscleman by any means. not that jason is either, but don’t forget, percy is a whole one. inch. (GASP) shorter than jason (which to me isn’t even noticeable, so her pointing it out as a flaw just proves that she’s so incredibly biased towards jason.) their other big contrasting feature: their personalities. jason is respectful and well-mannered. very obedient and under control. percy, however, makes jokes during inappropriate moments, talks back to people of power and authority, gets angry quickly, and loses control easily. i mean, literally right after she says this, percy starts insulting the roman god Bacchus and rapidly escalates a situation because of his natural instinct to be disobedient. piper is horrified by him doing this, especially because jason would never. does it make US all love percy very much? yes. but piper isn’t us.

THAT SAID, even she can’t actually call him unattractive. she even went as far to state that she can see why annabeth likes him, which means even her magically-obsessed-with-jason brain can still recognize his attractiveness and see why girls find him appealing. she calls him “cute in a scruffy way,” meaning she thinks that he’s got a disheveled attractiveness to him. she also once said that his pleading eyes are like a cute baby seal’s - even she can’t deny that his eyes are wonderful. so even though piper calls him unimpressive, i think rick put in a lot of clues here showing us that she acknowledges him as a conventionally attractive person, even if she’s not personally attracted to him.

let’s sum it up, shall we?

what does it say about percy? absolutely nothing. piper calling percy unimpressive is an inaccurate and unreliable source when it comes to analyzing percy’s physical appearance, especially if you don’t consider the context. this was rick’s way of showing piper’s clear preference towards jason, just like annabeth has a clear preference towards percy. and even though she said this, rick also made her give us several hints that percy is handsome, just not in a way she’s inclined towards. rick wanted love triangles to be completely out of the question with these 4. he wanted to make it very clear that annabeth had no interest in jason, and that piper had no interest in percy. so since piper is so drawn towards jason, percy had to be very different from him in her eyes.

jason is your a superman, percy is your batman

jason is your captain america, percy is your iron man. some even say spider man.

so put yourself in piper’s shoes: after hearing percy jackson’s name non-stop for 6 months, hearing him compared to jason, hearing of all his accomplishments and how heroic he is - i mean, the guy was literally honored on olympus and offered godhood - she was expecting a stereotypical good-boy hero. a hercules. a superman. your standard muscular blinding-white-teeth-smile hunk. the conventional, well-mannered good boy. and instead she got a wild and untamed, trouble-making bad boy. percy has an edge to him. he’s intimidating and unpredictable. he’s sarcastic and witty. he just looks like he’s up to no good. she wasn’t expecting any of that. that’s not what we’re taught a hero is supposed to be like or look like.

jason is appealing in a “he’d be a respectable and sturdy husband” way.

percy is appealing in a “he’s gonna fuck up my life but i so badly want him to” kind of way. (even though once you get to know him, you see he’s literally the world’s best boyfriend. piper even gets jealous of how loving he is towards annabeth.)

she had this exact idea of what he would be, and he wasn’t that. hence her calling him “unimpressive.” but it says nothing about his attractiveness.

i rest my case, your honor.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

disclaimer: i am not saying percy is actually a bad boy or a bad guy. he is a sweetheart. he has the biggest heart ever. he’s a cute little cinnamon roll. i am simply talking of first impressions from outsiders, and how he appears if you don’t know him.

#don’t worry #percy is hot #analysis #this is so disorganized lol #late night thoughts #you guys asked for it #percy jackson #jason grace #mark of athena #heroes of olympus #percabeth #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #annabeth chase

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qtubbo · 10 months

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Note: For people who were just watching Phil’s POV, while this was still present it much harder to notice how genuinely insecure Phil was making Sunny feel, being much more blatant with full context of who Sunny is through Tubbo’s entire POV of them.

QPhil was incredibly mean spirited towards Sunny, to the point where it felt much more purposeful rather than Phil just being in a weird mood, he was also unnecessary judgement towards Tubbo’s parenting. To an extreme unmatched by any of the other older parents to any of the new parents, constantly mocking Tubbo’s builds, abilities, and rules. While he started off very pleasant towards if not a bit confused, as the day progressed and later conversation from Phil about Sunny he became more bluntly resentful and annoyed. The easiest way to simplify his actions is to consider him acting like Tubbo’s cruel mother in law, if you know the trope.

I think this was done from the simple fact that he missed his kids, and was projecting his own relationship with Tallulah onto Tubbo and Sunny. A lot of how he treated Sunny at the beginning was more similar to how he treats Tallulah and as the day went by the more certain I felt that he was projecting Tallulah onto Sunny. He was more critical of his parenting because he wanted for Sunny what he would want for Tallulah, he rejected a lot of Sunny’s actual wants because he knows what’s good enough for his daughter and what Tubbo was doing wasn’t enough. This is also why he was rejecting of Sunny’s actual wants because he was coping through her, anytime Sunny strayed off what Tallulah wanted it was hurting his illusion and therefore needed to be squashed.

Sunny came off as cold to Phil, because instead of giving her bright personality to him it was given to Tubbo. The more they strayed from Tallulah’s personality the harder it was to continue pretending, he wanted Tallulah and got Sunny, and he resented Sunny for that. I fully doubt this was on purpose, rather Phil was subconsciously projecting is own daughter on to Tubbo’s. Nothing Sunny could have done would have made Phil love her, even though she was trying so hard to be loved by the man their Pa looks up to. This becomes even more obvious when you compare his relationship to Sunny to his one with Empanada. While I don’t consider Em and Tallulah to be very close in personality, I think they are similar enough to scratch that itch for Phil and Empanada was less reserved then Sunny making Phil feel that was kinder than Sunny. Which was inevitably why he ended up saying the most hurtful thing of all about Sunny to Tallulah.

“Sunny’s nice I’ve met with them, and talked to them about stuff. She likes money.”

“Oh look over there, there’s Empanada! You’ll really like Empanada!”

He said this to comfort Tallulah but he still said it in front of Sunny, Kids notice that stuff when you talk about them like an afterthought, and then the next kid with full blown excitement it hurts. You’ll like Empanada you won’t like Sunny.

Also I’ll analyze Tubbo and Phil’s relationship more in another post, since I’ve seen a lot of conversation around it right now and I wanted to say something on its own. As a second note I took out a lot of the crueler comments Phil said in private since while he did say them, I would only include them if I had quotes as to not accidentally villainize him through misremembering.

#qsmp #Qsmp phil #Qsmp tubbo #qsmp sunny #qsmp tallulah #REMINDER THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT THE CCS !!!! REAL LIFE PHIL AINT BEEFING WITH SUNNY THE EGG #BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T HIS DAUGHTER THAT WOULD BE WEIRD #Also before I get this accusation again I watch phils whole pov for this thats why im able to make that note #I did research okay! I did make the mistake of not writing down the actual qoutes from phil…. Which is why that section was removed

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yameoto · 1 month

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Hey so you're just about the only person I feel decent asking this question, Would you happen to have any tips to make messages more...interesting? I find myself using the same adjectives, ending up in the same spot with different characters, etc, etc. And was just wondering if you had anything i could use to spice things up again.

don’t just “react” to the bot. be proactive! lead the scenario where you think is interesting, get out of the first location, and don’t be afraid to make it wild. roleplay as if you were actually roleplaying with an individual—thread context n backstory in there. the longer and more detailed Your message, the same for the bot.

your own imagination is important! if you’re struggling, it helps to build off the contextual world of the specific bot, and what makes sense.

i.e letting stepsister!quinn drag her poor innocent stepsister out after curfew to see a sleazy rock concert is a vastly different scenario than singlemom!quinn letting you meet her daughter for the first time. OR, these above two would be very different to any theboys!au bots, in which the world means inherent danger, such as using the soldier boy bot (brainwashing him, forcing him to nuke vought etc). BUT, frankly, you can do ALL those scenarios with ALL the bots. how willing you are to suspend your disbelief is the only limit here. quinn can be a merc in training if you wish, just as ben can be your pervy step!brother. woah. might make both bots.

nor do you have to take the bot greeting as holy grail. you can start off the same bot with an entirely new scenario. bots are adaptable! and they’ll follow the new input. i’m guilty of this when i’m too lazy to make a new bot for a character but i still want to rp a different scenario.

basically, bots are NOT fixed. everything can be soft-rewritten by YOUR messages. i tend to get bots out of their starting location as fast as possible.

same goes for YOU! {{user}}. you can be anyone you want to be. you could be a pop star. an olympic gymnast. a member of the mafia. you can bring in so much of your own angst or backstory and thread it into your responses, and lead it in ways that play off your backstory.

i can’t help you with vocabulary unfortunately! this is something that comes with a lot of reading/writing. unless you want a list of synonyms you rote-learn with flashcards. if it’s any comfort to you, nobody is judging you on how many times you use the same words! just be wary the bot may copy your prose and end up very repetitive.

+ for smut, if you’re searching for new scenarios. whatever you find hot.

examples (with explanation) below

doctor!quinn.

one; is almost purely reactionary, however it has a bit of context that alludes to the greater history of the role-play.

two; reactionary, with context threaded through. bot reads subtext just as people do, and can pick it up on the idea 1. quinn/user have been working together for a long time, and that there is familiarity/routine/casual intimacy in their relationship.

three; split. mainly background, though the second paragraph is the actual reaction/response (and what most people would ONLY write!) the first paragraph gives a heapload of info to the bot that it can use to inform their interactions.

fair warning! you don’t need to write as much as me, i tend to get carried away when i actually do roleplay because else i get terribly bored repeating scenarios or not exercising a little bit of effort. i will say, however, it makes for much more rewarding roleplays.

hope this helped <3

#inbox !#.misc #yam's tips

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yuri-is-online · 4 months

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Okay so Trey in the Blotpocalypse timeline or where Yutu comes from also Overblotted right??

And I like to imagine he became an extreme sadist or really really evil once he overbloted, and his Yutu does NOT buy the stories of Trey being actually a very chill and “I don’t want problems, don’t involve me with whatever shenanigans you have” guy.

And when goes to the timeline of now he just.

“Wait, this guy fr??? I saw this guy overbloted and being a sadist maniac, the FUCK you mean he is just the son of the baker”

¬‿¬ you read my mind camrastuff. Overblot Trey is a sadistic bastard, and his children are three of his favorite people to pick on... because yeah the original idea for Trey! Yutu passed peer review, and Furubatsu was kind enough to give us the names Yutres and Yushi for the other two triplets. You will regret giving me this power because I am going to use it to hurt you ψ(｀∇´)ψ

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. This post is heavier on the angst than the other Yutu posts and contains references to gore, depression, and major character death. Please engage responsibly.

They grew up associating home with violets.

Yuu would always keep a few plants on their bedroom windowsill, but the violets spilled all over the house. "They remind me of your father." They would always say, with a gentle look in their eyes that turns sad when they reach for the memories that just aren't there. As the triplets grow, they take turns caring for them so Yuu can rest and wonder about what that man was like and how Yuu came to associate him with the flowers. Yutres is the one who brings up their association with newlyweds and wonders if they were planning a wedding.

"There would be a record of it if they got married." Yushi says it like she's searched for the license already, and knowing his sister like he does Yutu is pretty sure she has. Yutres pulls her blanket around herself in embarrassment and Yutu finds himself speaking up before she can feel any worse.

"She was just saying it's romantic." Yutu doesn't like fighting with his sisters. He likes it even less when they fight with each other, everyone who isn't the two of them says it's because he's the oldest. That he has an instinctive need to protect them as their big brother, . "A lot of the things they say about dad are very romantic." Yushi rolls her eyes, but doesn't disagree. Domestic is the word Yutu would prefer to use for how Yuu talks about his father. They think about him most when they're cooking or taking care of him and his siblings. It's not enough to give him a clear picture of the man, but it's enough to feel like he might have loved him. He's willing to go with what Yushi theorized after looking far harder than he or Yutres, that Yuu ran away from home and settled down with their dad, only for him to die and ruin the good future they were trying to build with each other. It does nothing to dissuade Yutres from seeing it as romantic, or Yushi from blaming him for all their problems. Yutu refuses to take sides, forever the peacemaker destined to drown his own opinion under the weight of not wanting to make anyone mad. Deep down though, he doesn't care about what his dad was like. He just wishes someone was there to help, to make things less financially strained so he could play a sport at school and maybe make some friends.

When he meets his father he takes it all back. He wishes he never met the man at all.

Yutu per tradition is the oldest sibling, Yutres is the second born and Yushi the third. I like to think they have darker colored hair since Trey's green hair is rather dark, their eyes are "normal" for Yuu's world but turn yellow when they arrive in Twisted Wonderland. Yutres inherits Trey's height and poor eyesight, and she's deeply insecure about both due to the large amount of bullying she received growing up. Yutu is also tall, just not as tall as his sister while Yushi is at least a half foot shorter than her siblings and enjoys complaining about it. She accuses her siblings of stealing her height in the womb, but says it's ok because she got all the brains.

The kids grew up extremely poor. Three kids on a single parent's salary is no joke, Yuu was deeply stressed for a lot of their younger years. None of the fyuuture kids like Yuu's home town but the triplets especially hated it there. They felt like animals in a zoo or cast members of a freak show with how acceptable it was to point and stare at them. When they moved away once Yuu managed to secure a place with a better middle school for them to attend they were ecstatic. It was a nice change of pace to just be bullied for being poor.

They spent a lot of time as children playing made up games with each other, a lot of them revolved around cooking since Yuu seemed to really like doing that. They used to run pretend restaurants, or ice cream parlors, or cafes, anything that served food really. They always colored the menus together and asked Yuu to give them good reviews (5 stars for the babies obviously, yuu has a bunch of them in a folder somewhere they look at when things get rough)

I really like the idea of Trey being with a Yuu who has a vague interest in candy making? Because it's a similar interest to baking but still very different and I really like the idea of one of the triplets being interested in it. As the three get older, Yutu and Yutres learn as much about cooking and baking as they can, from Yuu, from the internet and the local library while Yushi applies herself more to experimenting with making things like taffy and caramel. She convinces her siblings to sell their product on the down low at school to bring in some money they can hopefully use to start a business someday. She's the most business minded of the three of them, Yutu privately thinks she has the biggest personality in an effort to make up for being the shortest.

The three of them are obviously major sweet tooths, but they disagree about what desert is best. Yutu loves custards and ice creams, Yutres thinks cake is best especially if it's fluffy, and Yushi likes things made with jams and candied fruits. It made trying to do something for their birthday a nightmare until Yuu realized they all loved hot chocolate and was able to convince them to have a "tea party" for their birthday where they got copious amounts of hot chocolate and some homemade cookies. It's a memory they all treasure and recreate when they arrive in Twisted Wonderland.

That arrival is much easier on the three of them than it is on a lot of the other Yutus. It helps having two other siblings you're deeply connected to when learning you're from another world, your parent is dying from a curse, and that magic is real but only two of you have it. NRC has ceased to be a boys only or even a mage's only school at this point, but it's still hurts for Yutres to learn that her siblings have something special about them while she's still just her. Crewel takes her aside to speak with her as the ceremony goes on without him, asking her if she thinks poorly of Yuu for just being themselves and Yutres can't fathom why she would do that. "Because that's what you're doing to yourself. Your siblings won't love you any less and you won't be of any less help. You are your parent's child after all." Something that Crewel sees as being made all the more true when two first year Heartslabyul students burst through the door and start whining for their sister to do their make up.

Yutres draws a Spade on Yutu to represent a knight's spear, because she thinks of her brother as someone who wants to protect people, and she's deeply grateful for all of the times he's stuck up for her. Yushi gets a diamond because Yutres thinks her sister is very classy and well put together, "diamonds are a girl's best friend or something" is how she words it, but that trademark Clover smirk is there to suggest there's more to it than that. She settles in to Ramshackle almost immediately after meeting the ghosts, who are overjoyed to have another Yuu in their happy haunt.

Heartslabyul suits her siblings well enough. Yutu thinks all these rules are exhausting but he tries his best to do his best so as not to rock the boat. Yushi is more or less the same, but she sort of wants to become Dorm Leader so she can throw a bunch of Unbirthday Parties because those sound fun. The lack of fresh food available to cook with is a drag sure, but she's sure she can at least find some good teas to serve... she just feels like the people around her could use some hope and she drags Yutu into figuring out how to find it.

That journey is long, at the end of it are six known phantoms wreaking havoc on their father's world and one that so few people know about they aren't sure he exists. At some point, all three triplets join a mission to the Queendom and debriefed by S.T.Y.X. about the phantom that roams there.

"Your quest is not to kill the Queen or her mini boss level minions." Idia is a strange person, Yutu can tell he's on the same page as his sisters without bothering to look. "You're just there as support for the front line mages and to get a realistic idea of what they're fighting against." He lets his hands fall to his sides and drops eye contact, chewing on his lower lip as he hesitates. Finally he takes a deep breath and turns towards the display, flicking through footage of the various monsters he had been talking about earlier. "A phantom is a husk using what's left of an overblotted mage to find and feed off of new magic sources. They can get very creative in how they do that." He focuses on a video of the Phantom Hatter, enlarging it so the triplets can get an uncomfortable look at it's facial features and know why Idia was struggling to talk to them. The monster is tall, with glasses and a top hat that would be sort of comical if he wasn't overseeing a table filled with rotting cakes and pastires for a party attended by corpses in varying states of decay. "This one talks. Don't listen to a word it says."

Trey has lines during lessons and in various other places suggesting he could never obey the Queen, and since Riddle is more Queen now than himself Trey has a degree of independence when compared to the other card soldiers. The S.T.Y.X. staff classify him as a rogue phantom and highly dangerous. He can talk, he uses his unique magic to make people confused about their surroundings, to mimic the voices of their loved ones and lure them towards packs of monsters where he'll watch silently as they die. He's picky about who he "invites" to his mad tea party, it's difficult to get a drone close enough to his base to analyze who the victims are.

Idia was vehemently against sending the Clover triplets anywhere near an area that the Hatter could be. That's beyond cruel to them and extremely dangerous, he just knows that Trey will find them and that it won't go well. Phantoms corrupt the natural instinct of the person they're feeding off of, and while Idia thinks Trey was always a sketchy bastard he knows that he was a domestic one too. If there's enough of him left to recognize his children... his worries are soothed by Ortho promising to keep an eye on them and the fact the mission isn't in Trey's usual territory.

It doesn't help. A familiar sees the strange looking children and speeds off to fetch its master. The Phantom Hatter doesn't show himself immediately, he watches, waits for everyone to relax just a little bit before he strikes, chasing everyone into one of the Queendom's many hedge mazes and isolating them from one another. The stress causes Yushi to discover her unique magic as she desperately tries to feel for her siblings, she is able to form a brief telepathic connection with someone she knows and see things as they are. She can tell that Yutu and Yutres are in danger, and decides to run for her brother first. She's sure he'll be half way to their sister by the time she finds him, he's the oldest. He always knows what to do. And while she's right she's also wrong, by the time she finds Yutu he's already found Yutres, but someone else has too. The Hatter doesn't blink. He doesn't breathe either she notices, but her sister still shrinks back, pulling an injured Yutu closer to her.

"Well that's just rude." It's not a voice they've heard before, but he's somehow so familiar. Like they heard this voice before, sometime long ago, whispered into the warmth that existed before they were torn from this world to be born in another one. "I'm just trying to say hello." Yushi doesn't think he's noticed her yet, she focuses on holding her breath and looking for a way out. Yutres maintains eye contact with the monster as she applies a potion to Yutu's wound and prays, to who or what she doesn't know, that he heals. "Have we met before? You seem awfully familiar." The monster summons bones up from the ground, closing in around the triplets and knocking Yushi out of hiding as the phantom looks over his shoulder to tip his hat and wink. It's an opening Yutres immediately takes, throwing Yutu behind her and jumping to hit at the monster's rib cage, landing a blow that causes a sickening crunch.

"RUN!" Yushi screams, she thinks she grabs her sister and brother's hands and drags them on instinct and adrenaline back to the base camp until a senior smites down the phantom the Hatter had mimic her sister and takes an unconscious Yutu to the medical tent.

Ortho tries to track down Yutres, but he's unsuccessful. It's months later when Idia finally thinks to send drones to check what's left of the Clover family bakery and finally finds her body. She's been laid in a children's bed, covered with a blanket. He can't tell if what's left of Trey couldn't bear to look at his dead daughter or if the phantom thought he was just putting her to sleep. It's too much even for Idia, he personally retrieves her and helps the surviving kids plan the funeral. It's not the first time he's felt responsible for getting someone's child killed, but it's the most personal.

Yutu's numb. Yushi is looking to him for guidance, and he doesn't know what to say to comfort her or to make it better. They're missing a part of themselves and are much too quick to agree to Idia's plan to send them back in time, their parents are the last thing on their minds they just want their sister back. When Yushi arrives in the Queendom she's able to tell where everyone is and go searching for them. When Yutu arrives at NRC he's terrified he's lost his only remaining sister, and that's before he has to deal with his dad.

Trey is a freak, but he's a domesticated freak. A domesticated freak who is deeply in denial about being in love with you or anything other than normal. He appreciates that Riddle feels comfortable enough to invite you to Heartsabyul, whether it's for a casual tea or for an Unbirthday party since it saves him the trouble of having to do it himself and you're always so eager to help... but then Yutu arrives and suddenly your attentions are a bit split. You still come around for the parties, but casual teas are becoming less and less. He tries to tease you about it, asking where else you're going to get your cakes from and that's when you mention it. "Oh Yutu bakes a lot and he's really good at it. I always feel bad for bothering you so, it's nice to not have to do it so much anymore." Oh? Well isn't that just cute, Trey isn't bothered by this at all. He might not think there's a difference between something bought from a store or something "made with love" but he certainly thinks there's a difference between him and another guy. And he wants you to choose him.

Yutu is terrified of his father. He still has nightmares of what happened to Yutres, and he's afraid he's lost Yushi now too. No one had much to say about Trey in the future, most all of his friends were either dead or phantoms and while Grandpa Crewel was enthusiastic in describing his interest in science he didn't give them much backstory. Idia never spoke poorly of him, and tried to impress on him that what killed his sister was a monster using his dad's magic and not actually his dad but when that thing kills your sister...

He doesn't know what to make of him. Trey's extremely chill so long as no one is causing trouble, he convinces himself to keep an eye on the Phantom Hatter, but he doesn't see any signs of that. The guy is really weird about teeth, and definitely in denial about his feelings for his parent but he is, weirdly enough, closer to that word Yutu would have associated with him before he came to Twisted Wonderland than he is anything that would describe that monster. He's domestic, a guy who looks like he'd be more at home in socks and sandals than surrounded by corpses. He overworks himself and takes naps on the Guest Room couch, he confesses that he was hoping to join some sort of cooking club but settled for the science one, and the way he looks at Yuu when he thinks no one is looking is so soft Yutu wants to choke. Idia's original warning, that a phantom isn't a person anymore and that the monster will do anything to convince you otherwise. But what would his sisters think if he ever thought about forgiving him?

"Is there a specific reason you wanted to grow violets?" Trey tries to keep his voice down, but Yutu still starts when he hears him. He didn't jump 10 feet in the air this time, so he likes to think he's making progress, though towards what he doesn't know. Yutu looks at the flowers, Trey can't see his eyes, but his grip on the watering can is tense. "Not judging, just curious." He tries to soothe him in the same tone of voice he would one of his younger siblings, and it does seem to work somewhat. "I really like them myself."

"My sister..." Yutu chokes on what sounds like a half sob, and Trey immediately regrets trying to help. "My sister really liked them she... she always thought they were romantic." The past tense catches Trey's attention immediately and something in him aches, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose one of his own siblings and he does talk about them a lot... was he being insensitive? Did he hurt Yutu by reminding him of his sister?

"Are they?" He isolates a few particularly well tended blooms and snips them to add to his basket next to Riddle's strawberries. "I'm not really good with those sorts of things." Yutu snorts, and Trey can't help but feel slighted somehow. "To me they just taste good."

"They taste good?" Yutu squeaks. He sounds indignant and Trey just shrugs.

"Yeah, candied flowers are really popular in the Queendom of Roses. I really like candied violets, ha when I was a kid I didn't realize you needed to cook them first and my parents had to stop me from eating them off the ground." There's quiet for a moment, Trey wonders if he's pushed it too far but Yutu's mouth finally lets out a small noise before he breaks into loud peels of laughter that sound like a weight is lifting off of Yutu's shoulders.

The first thing Yutu thinks when he hears about his father eating flowers is how Yushi tried to do the same thing when she was little. The second is how funny Yutres had thought that was, how she had smiled and laughed and Yutu cannot keep himself from laughing as well. How did this man become that creature? Did the loss of his home hit him that hard? Yutu doesn't know, but he's not afraid anymore. Some of his tension lifts, Yuu tells Trey during one of their hang outs that he's started speaking about his sisters more and that they now know he's a triplet (trey: wow those poor parents yuu: i know right? i could never). He starts getting into lighthearted (from his perspective anyway) spats with Trey over who can bake better. Trey says he has no complaints because he doesn't have to make as much for Unbirthday Party's now but ooooooh he'll be so upset if you say you think Yutu is better than him. If that was the case why's the little shit so interested in listening to what he has to say huh? And how did he pick up on Trey's feelings enough to reassure him he's got nothing to worry about?

The truth about Yutu is revealed during another monster attack. It happens during a science club trip to Crane Port, the sky grows eerily dark, and Yutu tenses out of instinct. Everyone else is confused, is it going to rain? And why is Yutu sprinting away from the group like a bloodhound with a scent? Rook is the one to give chase, Trey tagging along begrudgingly determined to keep the two of them from causing more trouble. But a bunch of trouble is exactly what they find, a monster that resembles an undead, overblotted version of Yuu is thrashing about as a group of... mages they don't recognize attack them. Trey and Rook prepare to help when Yuu notices them and their eyes narrow onto Trey and two of the unfamiliar looking mages absolutely lose it.

Yutu's disguise is knocked off, and Yushi was never wearing one to begin with so it's difficult to deny the similarity between the two now that Trey has a look at them. It's the eyes that he notices first, yellow just like his but bereft of glasses. Yuu's story about Yutu being a triplet rings dully in his mind as the fake Yuu fades from view, banished back to wherever it came from and Trey closes his eyes to do some math.

"There's one of you missing." It's not the statement they're expecting clearly, all justifications for their existence die on their tongues as they exchange a painful glance. Yushi was able to use her magic to see some of what Yutu's life was like at NRC, and she warmed up to what she saw of her dad much faster than Yutu did. Yutu doesn't want to be the one to tell Trey he killed their sister, but he also doesn't want to push that burden onto Yushi so he steels himself, and explains his story. Trey listens and he thinks. He's silent, arms folded as Yutu stumbles through his story before he interrupts his grief by pulling both of his children into his arms. He's a big guy, but they're big kids and he can barely get his arms around them both but he still feels empty.

Trey hates doing work he isn't responsible for, but he loves his family and doesn't see them as constant work. Three children? That Yuu was forced to raise by themselves? Unacceptable, the closer he has been getting to Yuu the more plans he's made for the future he wants with them. He knows what he wanted for these kids, and none of it is what they're describing. Trey might not want to be the best of all time, but he still wants to be the best he can be. Changing the future sounds like a big ask, something that Trey Clover should see as none of his business and easy to ignore. But it's not, it's different when it's his own family. If Idia thinks he's scary now just wait until three Clovers show up on his doorstep demanding he get in their party and stop the apocalypse. Four technically if you count yourself, something they really hope you do.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #trey clover x reader #trey clover x yuu

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lykegenia · 1 year

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So something has been bugging me for a while now about A and N’s backstories, and while I know not everyone will be as pedantic as me, as someone who loves history and has done a lot of writing, I feel that if you’re going to write a story about vampires and give them a specific time and date of origin, then there should be a certain level of research that goes into making that background authentic. I'm not saying that Mishka didn’t do any research. It just seems that in order to keep the vibe of a happy, mellow fantasy some of the less savoury aspects of A and N’s upbringings have been left out, and it's a shame. To be honest, it feels a bit disingenuous, and it feels like an opportunity got wasted.

Let me explain (long post got long, it's 2am)

Let's take A first, since the problem is simpler here.

A is the child of a Norman lord and an Anglo-Saxon noblewoman, born in the first generation after the Norman Conquest of England in 1066. A says that these were turbulent times but that their parents had a happy marriage. Which. While I’m sure a lot of unions in that time period made the best of it, I can’t help but feel this description strips away a lot of the context of what was going on at that point in history - and removes some of the complexity about A’s thoughts on love and relationships.

Basically, after he took control of the throne, William the Conqueror stripped many Anglo-Saxon lords of their lands and titles so he could give them to his Norman buddies instead - with the added bonus that it left the Anglo-Saxons without the means to raise armies against him. The sisters, daughters, and widows of the dispossessed Anglo-Saxons were then forced to marry these new Norman lords to legitimise their power, not infrequently after all of their male relatives had been slaughtered. It’s not as if Anglo-Saxon women weren’t used to being used as political chess pieces, but the years after the conquest were brutal. It’s why William had to build so many castles. The point that I’m trying to make is that even if A’s mother was content enough in her daily life, due to the power imbalance between her and her husband, it's very likely she had little choice in the matter. She may have seen a lot of her family killed for political reasons, with the knowledge that – in an age where women had very little protection outside of their paternal household – she might be next if she made too much of a fuss.

It would be fascinating to see what effect that tension has had on A 900 years later, or even to get an acknowledgement of how much times have changed, but we don’t. We don't see how their early years affected them, how they view relationships formed naturally instead of via political contracts. And I really, really wish we did. There is so much potential there.

But A is not the one keeping me up past 2 in the morning. It’s N, and the utter detachment their backstory seems to have from the period in history they lived in as a human. And it all stems from the fact that they came from the English nobility in the late 1600s.

See, the bulk of the problem is that English inheritance law at the time heavily favoured primogeniture, where a man’s wealth would go to his first-born son. Some dispensation was made for widows and other children, but the estates, assets, and most of the money had a very clear destination.

For one thing, this makes it kinda weird that N’s stepfather would have needed an heir before he could inherit, because except in extreme circumstances everything would have gone to him anyway. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the worst part of the problem, it’s just annoying when there are more plausible reasons for him marrying a woman already pregnant with another man’s child (old family friend wanting to save her from disgrace, needed the dowry to pay off gambling debts, there was a longstanding betrothal between them that would have been tricky to get out of, etc.).

No, the bigger problem with N’s backstory vs primogeniture is firstly that at the time the English aristocracy was racist af (still is tbh) and given his pretty obvious mixed-race heritage, no court would have agreed that Nate was a legitimate son (this is for a very special reason that we will be coming back to). I say Nate specifically here because primogeniture requires the eldest legitimate son. Nat wouldn’t have inherited at all, as women in that period passed from the guardianship of their father (or other male blood relative) into that of their husband after marriage, and only gained any kind of independence with widowhood. If N had been an only child, maybe they would have been treated as a special case, but unfortunately Milton exists: the eldest legitimate son who by law will inherit everything.

Now here’s the thing. Your average aristocrat in the 17th century is very obsessed with lineage and keeping the family line unbroken. He would not, therefore, send his legitimate heir to sea to be shot at or drowned before he can carry on the family name – that joy instead goes to any other sons who need their own profession, because again, they will get very little. Nat would have had a dowry, but would never have been expected to make her own living, so I'm going to focuson Nate for this next bit.

In Book 3, if you unlock his tragic backstory Nate tells you he joined the Royal Navy after Milton went missing so that he could go look for him. And, well. This is where his backstory as Mishka tells it completely falls apart. For two reasons:

1. Even in the modern day, you can’t ‘just’ join the Navy, and you certainly can’t just jump straight to being a lieutenant – it takes years of training and after a certain age they won’t take you because they won’t be able to mould you easily enough into a useful tool. For most of the Navy's history, the process was even more involved. It wasn’t an office job you could just rock up to and then quit if you felt like it, it was a lifetime commitment. Boys destined to be officers would be sent to sea as early as 12 to learn shipboard life, starting at the bottom and moving up the ranks. These were gained by passing exams and by purchasing a commission – which is why you generally had to come from wealth to be an officer at all. Once you get to lieutenant you're responsible for a lot of people, and might be tasked with commanding any captured ships alongside the daily running of yours - it was not an easy job.

2. Even as a lieutenant (one rank below Captain, with varying levels of seniority) it’s not like you can just go where you want. In the 1720s British colonies already existed in India, the Caribbean, and up the entire eastern seaboard of North America and into Canada, and the Navy was tasked with protecting merchant shipping along these seaways (and one trade in particular that we’ll be getting to, don’t worry). Nate could have ended up practically anywhere in the burgeoning empire. He would not have been able to choose whom he served under, and would not have been able to demand his superior officer go against orders from the admirality to chase down one lone vessel because he thinks another one of the admirals might be a bit dodgy. It could not have happened.

Besides these impracticalities, there’s a far easier way for the child of a wealthy man to get to a specific point on the far side of the globe to look for their lost sibling, which is the route I assume Nat took sine she couldn’t have joined the Navy (yes she could have snuck in but she’s specifically in a dress in the B2 mirror scene so). All they'd have to do would be to charter a ship and tell the captain where to go, which is the plot of Treasure Island. It's quicker, less fuss, with less chance of things going wrong. It's even possible in the age of mercantilism that the Sewells had some merchant vessels among their holdings that could be diverted for the task. Why go through the hassle of joining the Navy and potentially ending up on the wrong side of the world when you can just hire a ship directly?

If Nate does have to be in the Navy (and let’s face it, it’s worth it just for the uniform) then it's far more plausible is that, as the illegitimate son who would not inherit because of racism etc, he got sent to the Navy as a boy and rose through the ranks to become a lieutenant. When he got news of Milton’s disappearance not far from where he was stationed, he begged his captain to go investigate in case whatever happened turned out to be the symptom of a bigger problem. Like pirates.

I like this version better not just because it makes more sense, or because it keeps Nate’s situation re: inheritance closer to Nat’s and therefore makes their stories more equal, but also because it adds a delicious amount of guilt to Nate’s need to find his brother. We know his entire crew died looking for answers, because he was selfish – that’s roughly 100-400 lives lost because of him, and we know that sort of thing eats at him.

So that's one side of the story, but if Milton wasn’t in the Navy, what was he doing on the other side of the Atlantic in the first place? Well, this is where we come to the biggest elephant in the room regarding N’s backstory as a member of the 17th century English aristocracy and potentially as a naval officer: the Atlantic Slave Trade. If you are wealthy in 17th century Britain it's more than likely that your wealth comes either from the trade itself, or from the products made with the labour of enslaved people. If you are wealthy, you want to protect your assets from attack by pirates or foreign powers so you don't become less wealthy, and that is what the Navy is for.

Regardless of N’s own views on slavery at the time – and any subsequent changes in opinion – it’s likely their family owned or had shares in slave plantations in the Americas. As distasteful as it is, it makes far more sense that Milton was on a trip to check the family’s holdings when his ship - specifically a merchant vessel - went missing. From a pirate perspective, a merchant ship would make a much better target than a Navy vessel, being slower, more likely to have valuable cargo, and less likely to have marines or a well-trained broadside.

It's not surprising that Mishka left out the subject of the slave trade given her tendency to skirt around darker subjects and general blindspot for racial politics, but it is nuance that, if it was there, would create a more grounded and coherent backstory for N that doesn’t have quite so many holes. Like with A being the child of an invader and his war bride, we could get some deeper thoughts from N about their place in the world - How do they feel to have grown up so privileged when others who looked like them were regarded as literal property? How did they feel being part of the system that made it happen? Did it inform their compassionate nature? Is it still a source of guilt or someithng they've tried to make up for?

I'm not sure where I was going with all of this. It's late, my sleep pattern is fucked. The tl;dr is that giving the vampires' backstories historical context would make them feel more multifaceted and would give opportunities for character growth that are instead missed because of a desire for a more sanitized version of the past.

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #the wayhaven chronicles #twc #a du mortain #adam du mortain #ava du mortain #n sewell #nate sewell #nat sewell #it's annoying because it’s such a small tweak in the grand scheme of things #If she didn’t want unfortunate implications she could have made N from a century later when the navy was actively trying to stop slavery #A could have been from a 50 years earlier to tie his whole family’s demise into the subjugation of the english after the battle of hastings #or a century later when the two courts had mostly integrated #mishka made choices #they deserve to be given more substance than mere aesthetics #you can tell it’s late I’m using long words

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that-house · 25 days

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SATAN’S PERFECT IDIOT OR: POP MUSIC AND THE BATTLE FOR SURVIVAL IN NEW SPACE CITY OR: INVINO VERITAS AND THE DOCUMENTARY TO END ALL DOCUMENTARIES (AND THE WORLD)

To explain why for me, universally-beloved pop sensation Invino Veritas, being drunk on The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld was a bad thing would require copious context that I’m too lazy to give right now, especially when it could be revealed at a more interesting and dramatic time later. Suffice it to say the conversation had started bad, and was going worse.

“is that legal?” asked famous talk show host Blue Jerry Seinfeld, bluely.

“No,” replied famous pop star Invino Veritas (me, in case you forgot), honestly.

We both trailed off into an awkward silence, the sort of silence that two famous people trail off into when one of them confesses to double-parking a private jet in front of the fire escape of an orphanage on live TV, but in my defense building an orphanage near the corner store where I buy my menthols was poor civil planning on their part. Hardly anyone got hurt, anyways.

“While we’ve got you here, would you like to say anything about your upcoming album, Always Read the Fine Print?”

I batted my eyelids coquettishly, my seventeen thousand dollar UltraGlitter eyeshadow emitting enough light to temporarily blind (and in one case, as my lawyers would later tell me, somehow permanently deafen) the audiences at home. “Well, let's just say it’s still a bit of a work in progress.”

Blue Jerry Seinfeld stared at me gormlessly and bluely. As part of his ten year contract with The Every Night Show, he was obligated to stay awake 24/7/365/10, or actually more like 24/7/365.25/10 to account for leap years. It gave him a miserable earnestness that drew his guests in and inspired them to share things they’d never even admit to themselves. He didn’t need that for me, though, because I was drunk.

“I’m actually delaying on purpose,” I continued.

Blue Jerry Seinfeld’s sleepless blue eyes bored into my soul the way a particularly blue soul drill might similarly bore into my soul, only bluer. “Tell me more about that.”

“You see, Blue Jerry Seinfeld, you know how I’m with Morgenstern Records, you know, the record label owned by Lucifer Morningstar?”

“The guy from the bible, right?”

“Yeah. He did porn for a while, too.”

“Yeah. I’ve seen that. Good stuff.”

“Yeah.”

We trailed off into another awkward silence, the sort of silence that two famous people trail off into while thinking about the biblical Lucifer’s penis and its frankly ridiculous proportions. Thirteen inches length, seven inches circumference, by the way. I know you were wondering.

“Anyway, what about him?”

“Yeah, so you know all those stories about how someone makes a deal with the devil, and then they get totally screwed on the wording?”

“I’m familiar,” said the man who was contractually obligated to go ten years without sleeping. He was kind of ugly, now that I thought about it.

“I don’t think you’d really get it, actually,” I said, dismissing his lived experience the same way I dismissed my first butler for not excitedly running to come greet me at the door every time I got home. I mean, it wasn’t in Gerald’s terms of employment or anything but would it really have killed him to go above and beyond every single day? (LAWYER’S ADDENDUM: Gerald MacDonald had a rare and little-known heart condition which would have killed him if he ever felt any excitement or joy, and the depressive spiral he fell into following his termination likely saved his life. You cannot conclusively prove that my client, Invino Veritas, was unaware of his condition or that she specifically ended his employment for any reason other than to protect him).

Blue Jerry Seinfeld bristled in irritation, shaking his venomous quills as if to deter a predator and making a noise that sounded like a blue, be-quilled clone of a 20th century comedian muttering “fucking divas, man” under his breath. “As you were saying,” he said, more audibly and bluely.

“As I was saying, I made a deal with the devil and then I got totally screwed on the wording.”

You know what, to save time, let’s just assume that Blue Jerry Seinfeld does everything bluely going forward, and I can just say that he did a thing and you can add in the word “bluely” yourself, because the way he did it, whatever it was, was undeniably blue. So next paragraph, when I was going to say “‘Much like me and my deal with the studio,’ said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, making everything about him, bluely,” I’ll just say “‘Much like me and my deal with the studio,’ said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, making everything about him,” and you’ll just have to keep this paragraph in mind.

“Much like me and my deal with the studio,” said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, making everything about him. Did you do it? Did you do the thing I told you to do? The super easy thing I literally just told you to do? Here, consult this flow chart:

Yes, I did as I was ordered by pop sensation Invino Veritas: good girl, or whatever you are. Keep it up!

No, I ignored the super easy request of a really hot woman: literally how did you fuck that up. The bar was so low.

“Sure, Blue Jerry Seinfeld. Whatever. Anyway, back to talking about me: so I have a seven record deal with Morgenstern Records, right? And in the last five years I’ve put out six albums, all to incredible critical and financial success. Selling my soul to the devil was the best decision I ever made.”

“But…?” said Blue Jerry Seinfeld (don’t forget).

“But… I may have neglected to Always Read the Fine Print. See what I did there? Anyways, it turns out that when the seventh album is done, I go to Hell, and so does everyone who’s ever listened to even a single second of my music.” And of course, due to my incredible popularity and sex appeal, my music is inescapable in New Space City, so every single one of the ten trillion people who live here has heard my music.

“What the fuck? My fucking kids love your music! Oh god! Oh god we’re all going to die! Oh god! Oh cruel and merciless god, all I have ever asked of you is the chance to dream again, and now it seems I will be denied even that!” Blue Jerry Seinfeld was having a panic attack, something famously pretty common in cheaply-made clones. He didn’t even have kids, he just had implanted memories from the 1990s.

It was frankly pretty embarrassing, watching this blue man break down and cry on the floor, and clearly the studio execs agreed. A crack team of clonehunters rappelled onto the stage and shot Blue Jerry Seinfeld until he stopped twitching. The corpse was dragged off stage, and The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld cut to commercial.

The commercial was an ad for dog food, and featured a few scandalously-uncollared dogs dancing at the club to my hit single I Literally Just Killed a Guy (So Let’s Make Out in the Back of a Cop Car), so if there were any dogs in New Space City who somehow hadn’t heard my music, well, they probably were going to Hell now, too.

A few minutes later, they’d defrosted a new Blue Jerry Seinfeld, and rammed an icepick into the part of his brain responsible for feeling fear. “Sorry about that everyone,” said the new Blue Jerry Seinfeld, oozing blue blood from a hole in his eye socket. “So, Invino, you were saying that we’re all going to Hell. I hear it’s nice this time of year.”

“Yeah, pretty much. Of course, if anyone kills me before I finish the album, I guess I’d be the only one to go to Hell.”

Why did I say that. Oh right, the context.

So when I was like, seven years old, I got into a wish-god’s windowless white van because he said he could turn me into a princess. When I told him my name was Invino Veritas, and that I lived at 3243293 Jelq Street, he started laughing.

I asked him what was so funny, and he said that he was going to turn me into a princess but then he had a way funnier idea, and cursed me so that I have to tell the truth as long as I have literally any alcohol in my bloodstream. It didn’t really affect me at the time, but once I reached the legal drinking age of twelve I started losing friends really fast because I couldn’t stop telling people that I thought I was better than them.

Who names their kid Invino Veritas, anyway? Like, that’s just asking for them to get bullied by an omnipotent, kinda pervy deity with a penchant for stupid puns. No one else in my family has a weird name, and still I got singled out for a stupid name-based curse from birth, the assholes. Whatever, I got to channel that rage into my music and I’m over it now. I’m over it.

“Could you say that again, for audiences at home?”

“Sure thing, Blue Jerry Seinfeld. When I finish my next album, every single person and dog and elf in New Space City will be immediately sent to Hell, unless I’m killed before it’s done.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to say, before a swarm of desperate fans looking to avoid eternal damnation storms the studio?”

“Just that I hear your complaints, and I’m listening, and I think I can delay the album for, like a year or two, so you should do whatever you want in the time you have before the world ends. Quit your job. Go on that vacation. Kill a guy and make out in the back of a cop car. Preorder Always Read the Fine Print, because I don’t think I can cash those royalty checks once I’m in Hell.”

“You heard her, New Space City. This has been The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld, and it will continue to be The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld until the world ends or my contract expires.” He turned to me, gripping my arm with the sort of intensity that you only get in freshly-defrosted clones. “You can escape out the back. I’ll hold them off for as long as I can. Good luck out there, Invino.”

Aw, that was actually really sweet of him. “Thanks, Blue Jerry Seinfeld. I’m sorry I called you ugly in my internal monologue.”

“Dying feels like falling asleep,” said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, still not releasing my arm.

“Okay, Blue Jerry Seinfeld.”

“Invino, even when I’m dead I don’t get to close my eyes. The cameras are always rolling.”

“Okay, Blue Jerry Seinfeld.” I tugged my arm free of his grip a little bit, but his grip was like magically-reinforced iron that was way stronger than steel or titanium, but probably weaker than magically-reinforced steel.

“The cameras are always rolling, Invino…”

“I have to go, Blue Jerry Seinfeld.” He let me go, and I sprinted out the back of the studio. Behind me, The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld cut to commercial again, and the screaming started.

#invino veritas #this is so easy to write because i just do the dumbest bit i can think of #over and over

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novantinuum · 5 months

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Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 2

[Part 1] | [Part 2- You are here!] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]

Welcome back, folks! This is part 2 of my analysis series on the excellent @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. And for those who are tuning in fresh just now, please check out the first part- linked above- for more information on what these posts are all about. A lot of this analysis will build on what came previously.

We’re jumping right back into it.

Question Two: What is Pink Steven’s whole deal in this comic, anyways?

Fans of this comic have long pointed out the oozing pink looming at the corner of many of the earlier comic panels when Steven and Jasper are fused, and the strong resistance Steven’s own gem seems to have to being Onyx at all.

(Episode 1: Pages 17 & 18)

In some small way, even if he never states it any more bluntly than he does in the panels above, even Steven himself recognizes what’s going on. The reason their first fusion attempt doesn’t take is because half of him doesn’t want anything to do with Jasper at all.

And with the way Jasper speaks of fusion like it’s a tool to conquer, it’s not very hard to glean one of the reasons why.

(Episode 2: Page 17)

Pink Steven, probably: And That Was My Cue To Say Yikes™

So, yeah. If you’ve read the comic, you know what happens after this. Steven allows Jasper to front for a while completely unhindered, genuinely curious about what she thinks he should be using his powers for.

(Episode 4: Page 3)

This decision isn’t inherently a wrong one- in fact, from one angle I think it shows a lot of mature openness to go to such lengths to try and understand someone you feel you don’t have much in common with. However, it IS a decision that Steven himself doesn’t seem to be in consensus over. And we know this because of how he physically responds to Jasper’s violent use of these powers, and what the speech bubble styles (there’s a lot of that scribbly pink lettering throughout this scene) can tell us about his mental state.

(Episode 3: Page 7)

Like, just look at the top set of eyes while Jasper’s taking this fused body on a destructive spin around the woods while abusing his powers. They are alert, they are pink, and they are fucking ANGRY.

Not only that, but this part of Steven almost seems to be feeling a bit vindictive towards Jasper for the harm she’s caused him in the past, because he takes a minor bit of control for just a moment to summon that damned death barrier again, in a move that feels intensely like a silent threat to me.

(Episode 3: Page 9)

Jasper confirms herself in Episode 4 that she did NOT consciously summon this barrier. So, it was Steven, then. Or at least… It was a part of Steven.

(Episode 3: Page 10)

I feel like many readers contextualize this moment as Steven’s Gem half chastising Jasper for abusing his powers, but I personally read it as him calling out Steven himself- Steven as a whole- for allowing her to have full reign when he knew deep down he was in conflict over the idea of this whole fusion to begin with. The panels with the visualization of Steven’s human half struggling to crawl his way through this gummed up, frothy pink fusion mindscape while his other half takes the reigns immediately calls to mind the shot of Jasper struggling for control in Malachite’s mindscape in the season 2 episode "Chille Tid."

Not only that, but take a close look at human Steven’s eyes in that previous panel…

They’re dulled, not drawn with full black irises like they usually are.

(Episode 3: Page 13)

And guess how full hybrid Steven is drawn just a few panels later, right after Pink Steven pulls away his power (“But you’re starting over just like I did!”) and Onyx splits? Those same, concerningly dulled eyes. Reminds me a lot of how he looked during both the cliffhanger of Change Your Mind and when his gem was glitching out in the movie. Given the context of the scene and the internal instability he was facing, I take this to mean that even his gem powers have briefly been nerfed, rendering him just as weak at this moment as he’d be without that gem at all. Hell, this whole page basically reads as him outright bargaining with this part of himself to summon one last panel to break Jasper’s fall.

“No. She can’t… She can’t… Please. She didn’t… didn’t… mean…”

So yeah, this episode in particular is the best glimpse we’ve gotten at the blatant opinions and feelings of this part of Steven so far… but quite frankly, I think the visual motif of the ominous pink goop oozing in at the edges of panels continues to be a powerful reminder of his constant presence. He’s watching things closely. I think the last thing he wants right now is for Steven as a whole to end up hurt by this again.

Basically, in my head, the ooze is Pink Steven’s “Mmmm don’t like that” signifier, lol.

Question Three: What is up with Onyx’s fusion dream?

The beginning of Episode 7 starts with Onyx caught in the middle of a strange dream.

(Episode 7: Page 1)

In my mind, this is absolutely one of those strange mixed-up fusion dreams- the subject and presentation influenced by the thoughts and memories of the individuals involved in said fusion. I think this dream is a combo of the memories from Rose that Steven can access through his gem and Jasper’s own fears/insecurities.

You have a visualization of the corruption blast, an event that Rose experienced firsthand- thus, exists as dormant memory within Steven’s gem… and then I think Jasper’s component of this is the perspective, and how it compares to her experience in being struck down by a diamond attacking from the sky in much a similar way. Only, unlike Rose… she didn’t have a shield to hide behind.

Part of me kind of wonders if the emergence of this dream means Jasper’s den is IN the same place where Rose shielded her friends from the corruption blast- since usually, these memory related dreams that Steven and his fusions have are drawn out by being in the exact locations the memories took place. It’s kinda hard to say, though. In the one shot we have of Rose facing the corruption blast, the environment looks entirely different (way flatter, not reddened + weapons on the ground) than the environment in Onyx’s dream. In fact, the environment in Onyx’s dream looks far closer to this:

The context given in the episode "A Single Pale Rose" shows that this is the Strawberry Battlefield right after the corruption blast itself. (An earlier shot shows the floating islands unique to this area.) You get the reddened soil and the weapons, like we see with what Onyx is dreaming, and the hills.

So, I think our most likely possibilities are as follows:

Rose defending the Crystal Gems from the corruption blast DID take place in this location, and the actual shot of her pulling up the shield is just colored a lot differently… perhaps to account for the intense glow of the Diamonds’ power.

The location visualized in Onyx’s dream is actually related to a Jasper-specific memory of the war, which is merely getting mixed up with the ambient memory of Rose seeing the corruption blast careening down at her.

No matter which of the two is true, the major crux of this dream is how it parallels Jasper’s experience of seeing Steven let loose his shattering strike from the sky. This is important, because it is yet another piece of evidence that she is truly, DEEPLY bothered by this moment, even if she often acts otherwise.

When Steven bluntly asks her why she’s not bothered by him shattering her, she deflects…

(Episode 1: Page 7)

…completely brushing over any and all feelings she may harbor over the matter to comment on how shattering is a completely normal thing for the old eras of Gemkind. However, later on, she admits that she felt upset when a part of Steven summoned that spiked barrier again while fused as Onyx.

(Episode 4: Page 4)

This signals to me that processing this event is going to be a large part of Jasper’s arc in this comic. This is the capital ‘B’ Big Trauma that she is burying under all her false bravado and her tough exterior.

I think it is also important to note that we see a visualization of the battlefield from this dream once more, when Onyx’s own personality finally comes to the forefront for the first time. We’ll delve into this matter in the next discussion section.

Look out for the next post in this series at 7am PST tomorrow. Farewell!

#su #su future #steven universe #jasper #pink onyx #su meta #pink onyx au #my post stuff

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hansensunshine · 2 years

Note

hi lovely! i love your writing so much <3

could you maybe write a patrick bateman x reader fix where y/n is getting stalked by someone and goes to patrick for comfort, but it turns out that it’s actually patrick who is the stalker? thank you so much in advance 🎀🎀

ooh i love this idea!! i love having a bit of context to work off of, i hope you enjoy this just as much as i do 🤍🤍

— 𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐑𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

pairings: patrick bateman x reader

synopsis: you have known patrick for a little bit, and in that time you have noticed how caring he is over you. possessive even, although you could never differentiate the two.

tw: slight obsessiveness

summary: you realise that there has been someone who has been stalking you recently, not knowing who it was you go to patrick for comfort, only to realise it was him all along.

┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ౨ৎ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈

you were standing outside of patrick bateman’s door, knocking frantically, almost having tears rolling down your face. you were terrified to say the least.

a few days ago you realised that something had been off, you had felt like your every move was being watched. you never thought anything of it until you saw a figure. you couldn’t differentiate who or what it was, but with you being sensitive, you ran to the only person who can protect you, patrick bateman.

you raised a hand in front of your face, wiping away any tears that have fallen. before you could do anything else, patrick opened the door. you looked up at him with your precious doe eyes, he didn’t have an identifiable emotion, but you could see he had a light frown on his face. you couldn’t help but stutter when you start speaking to him, also having to clear your dry throat. “h—hi patrick.. i don’t mean to be a bother but—“ you couldn’t help but let another tear fall down your face and you immediately ran to patrick and wrapped your arms around his muscular build tightly. “tell me, what’s wrong?” patrick looked down at you, ever so lightly wrapping his arms around yours. you looked back at him before continuing to speak. “i think.. i think someone is stalking me..” you looked away from him before he knelt to your height and moved his arms from around you to gently cup your cheeks. you couldn’t sworn there was a slight smirk on his face. he swiftly placed a kiss onto your forehead before getting back up, fixing his posture. he took his big hand in your tiny one and took you inside.

you had only been inside his home once, you took in all the minimalistic objects inside his apartment. as you walked over to his couch, you sat down, having your head down. patrick locked the door behind him before walking over towards you, he stood behind the couch, right were you were sitting. he couldn’t help but lean over and play with your hair. he wasn’t being rough, but it didn’t feel great, you never gave it any thought since you never thought of him to be soft anyway.

“you will protect me.. won’t you, patrick?” you looked back and up at him whilst he cooed you. he wiped your wet face with his thumb, having a small smile come across his face. “you know i will, i won’t let anything or anyone hurt you. you’re under my protection.” you smiled a touch at him as he walked to the front of the couch before sitting directly next to you. he had a stern face whilst looking at you, you honestly felt intimidated before he opened his arms for you.

your head tilted to the side a little, was he really offering you comfort? you couldn’t think again before going directly in his arms, but this time his grip was more than tight. you buried your face into the crook of his neck, loving how warm his body is. he moved a hand to play with your hair once again, feeling protected, like no one could hurt you.

after a while of staying in patrick’s arms, you were drifting off to sleep. of course, he noticed this. he softly spoke under his breath, you managed to make out what he was saying just before you drifted off completely. “you’re so dumb, aren’t you, darling? not knowing i’m the one who’s been stalking you all this time.”

#my inbox <3 #patrick bateman #patrick bateman x reader

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tightjeansjavi · 1 year

Text

Slow Hands | Chapter 4

“I used to float, now I just fall down”

A/N: so I already forewarned that this was going to be a particularly heavy chapter. I also just want to say that I don’t claim to be a medical expert on the effects trauma can have on a person. I also do not self diagnose, but I did a lot of research on the reasoning behind why Beanie doesn’t have any recollection of what happened to her. I specifically researched‘dissociative amnesia’ caused by trauma. Some of the symptoms may include a person forgetting part or all of the traumatic event, and having a ‘foggy’ memory of trauma, or feeling like ‘it didn’t happen to you.’ However, even if you are unable to recall specific details, your body still does which would explain Beanie’s flight or fight response to specific sounds. Depending on the person, your body may associate certain sounds, sights, and smells to a specific traumatic event. Thank you for reading 🤎

~word count: 4.1k~

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: while on patrol, Tommy and Joel make a gruesome discovery.

Warnings: disturbing/distressing themes that may be harmful to some viewers. Please do not read if this kind of content upsets you. Violence, dead bodies, talk of the past, mention of murder, mentions of guns, mentions of chains, implied S/A by raiders, women held captive, trauma, trauma triggers, PTSD, possible diagnosis of dissociative amnesia (I do not claim to be an expert and just did some heavy research to make it accurately depicted in the story), protective! Joel, Beanie dissociates on her rooftop, implied suicidal thoughts, implied depression, isolation, some fluff towards the end, Joel is incredibly gentle with beanie, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is beanie (coffee beans) +18, minors dni! Please heed the warnings!

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“What the hell do ya mean she doesn’t know what fuckin’ happened to herself? What does that even mean,Tommy?!” Joel was visibly frustrated, confused, and bewildered. His mind was already running circles as he tried to piece together what he knew about you. He was desperate to grasp some context clues that would ultimately lead to a conclusion as to what had happened to you. He gently pulled back on his horse's reins between a cluster of snow dusted evergreens.

Tommy, however, kept his horse moving and this frustrated Joel even further.

“Don’t you fuckin’ walk away from me like you’re deaf or somethin’ ,Tommy!”

The younger Miller brother cursed under his breath as he halted his horse a few strides ahead of Joel. Both brothers were deathly silent. Tommy rolled his shoulders, appearing to try and relieve some stress and tension that was building up. He gently pulled the inside rein towards his torso as he turned his horse around. “Would you fuckin’ keep your goddamn voice down? This is exactly why I don’t want to discuss this with you, Joel.”

“You think I give a damn? What, you just expect me to go ‘bout my business when she crumbled into my arms this morning?’ Tommy, you know me, you know I ain’t gonna let this go.” Joel’s tone was far softer now. His frustrations were still simmering below the surface like that of a once dormant volcano that was gradually becoming active once more.

“Look, Maria and I have our own assumptions about what happened to her. When we found her..she was in pretty fuckin’ rough shape. She was most likely traveling for days without food or water Joel. She was barely breathin’, and for a moment we thought she was long gone.”

“Well, that ain’t all surprising..considerin’ we’re livin’ in an apocalypse Tommy.” Joel fought the urge to scoff under his breath. Tommy wasn’t giving him a straight answer and he wasn’t having any of it.

“That ain’t the fuckin’ point, Joel. Maria..she found somethin’ on her.” Tommy trailed off as he focused anywhere but his brother’s face.

“Tommy, what the hell did she find? Spit it out, or so help me god–” He nearly growled out as his jaw clenched harshly under the pale white moonlight.

“Someone tried to fuckin’ carve her up. That’s what.” Tommy deadpanned.

“what?” Joel could feel the bile rise in his throat at this newfound utterly disturbing information. His pupils were blown wide and an unsettling chill rolled down his spine.

“You fuckin’ heard me. Some sick fucks tried to carve her up. Maria and I both think it was raiders.”

“..like us?” Joel’s question hung heavy in the air as both Miller brothers slowly looked over at one another. There was nothing for them to hide. They had both done unspeakable things to countless people. Some people deserved it..others? Not so much. Joel knew it would be impossible for him to wipe all of his sins and carnage completely clean. His moral compass had been skewed after Sarah died. His actions were fueled by rage and indescribable pain. But even though he was a murderer, and he,Tommy, and Tess committed heinous crimes together, even they had their limits.

“No, Joel. Not like us. We didn’t fuckin’ carve people up.” Tommy shook his head with a heavy sigh. Maria didn’t know half of the shit he had done to survive, and he hoped to god she would never find out.

“No, you’re right. We didn’t carve people up, but we did some terrible fuckin’ things, Tommy.” There was a heaviness in Joel’s voice that lingered in the frosty air.

“Yeah, we did. Endure and survive, right?” Tommy responded with a bitter laugh that slowly crept up his throat.

“So, when you say that they tried to carve her up..”

“Maria found a knife wound that pretty much wraps all the way up her torso and back. It was, and is gruesome.”

“Fuck.” Joel breathed out a puff of air as his heart began to hang heavy in his chest. “She doesn’t remember any of it?”

“No. We actually had Doc check her out after we brought her in, and he thinks she might have dissociative amnesia. He said it’s commonly found in patients that have dealt with an excessive form of trauma. Essentially, her brain is blocking out certain events to protect itself. He of course doesn’t know for sure, but that’s the best explanation he could give as to why she has a foggy memory of what happened to her. He also..thinks there’s a chance that she was heavily drugged for an extended period of time, which could have also led to her memory essentially being botched. That wasn’t..all that Doc found. He also said that after doing a full body exam–”

Joel cut him off immediately like a sharp knife slicing through a hunk of meat. “Stop. Not another word, Tommy. Not another fuckin’ word.” Joel whispered harshly under his breath. He could only imagine the hell you went through. God help those motherfuckers if he ever got his hands on them.

“All this is to say that she may never fully recover those memories. Frankly? It’s probably for the best. I’m entrustin’ you with this information, Joel. And I need you to promise me that you’re not going to go and ask her questions. I need you to bite your fuckin’ tongue on this one. Alright? Jus’ be her friend. Jus’ be there for her.”

Joel wanted to laugh. He wanted to bitterly laugh and shake his fists to the heavens above because how in the hell was he supposed to just deal with the guilt of having some form of knowledge on what happened to you. How was he supposed to look you in the eyes without imagining the horrors that you faced? How was he supposed to pretend?

“Tommy, you know I can’t–”

“I don’t give a damn on what you think you can’t do, Joel. I’m not about to let you or anyone for that matter go and traumatize that poor woman even more. Maria started treatin’ her different than everyone else at one point, and Beanie came to me one day and wanted to know why. I had to sit down with Maria and practically beg her to just treat her like a normal person. Folks ‘round here either think she’s the nutty coffee woman, or some fragile piece of china that is gonna shatter at any minute. She ain’t either of those things, but hey, I guess even an apocalypse can’t stop people from havin’ their judgements.”

“For the record, Tommy, I don’t think she’s either of those things either. Quirky? Sure. She’s better than half the folks in town. That is for damn certain.”

“Exactly. So just treat her like a normal person. Don’t go and try to be her savior either. She ain’t need savin. She just needs a friendly face that understands her.”

“I have a friendly face?” Joel murmured with a soft chuckle to alleviate the tension.

“Hardly, big brother.” Tommy softly joked back.

“So, just so I got this all straight, Doc said that he thinks she might have..dissociative amnesia..but then what about her triggers? Does he know about her episodes? Cus’ she looked at me like I was gonna fuckin’ hurt her. If her brain is tryin’ to block out the trauma..her body is still actively experiencing it?” Joel asked as he gently nudged his horse’s side to walk forward.

“Y’know how you have your own triggers? I’m thinkin’ that she does as well. However, hers are most likely associated with noise. When we first brought her in we had her stay at our place for awhile..and there was one mornin’ I was up early putzin’ around the kitchen and I guess the sound of a pan clatterin’ in the sink freaked her out. She kept tellin’ Maria someone was out to get her, but when Maria asked who, she couldn’t answer.”

“Well..that explains what happened this mornin.’ I jus’ uh—wanted to do somethin’ nice for her so I was shovelin’ her walkway. Maybe the sound of the shovel scrapin’ on the concrete triggered her?”

“Well, chivalry ain’t dead. That’s for damn sure. Yeah, I’m sure it triggered her flight or fight response. She wasn’t logically able to decipher what the noise actually was. Y’know, I'm pretty sure Doc has some books on this stuff if you wanna read up on it.”

Joel was just about to respond when his horse let out a nervous snort and pawed at the ground with his hoof. Horses were incredibly intuitive creatures. They could sense danger from a mile away.

Both Tommy and Joel were already grasping their rifles in a fight response. There was a drifting odor of smoke from a fire..at first Joel thought it was just a typical wood burning fire, until the putrid stench of rotting flesh hit his olfactory senses and it brought him right back to living in the QZ. His eyes watered, and his lungs burned. No doubt in his mind that there was a raider camp nearby.

“We should turn back right fuckin’ now Joel. We should go find the others—” Tommy hissed under his breath.

“No. We’re gonna go investigate. Lucas and Cody probably already detected the smoke as well. This ain’t the first time you and I have gone into somethin’ together. You cover me, and I’ll cover you. Deal?” It was incredible how fast Joel was able to switch back into survival mode. It was embedded deep within his bones, and it didn’t take much for it to be clawing right through his skin. He had been the hunter, more times than he had been the prey.

“If we’re outnumbered, then we split. Got it?” Tommy wasn’t about to go and risk his life tonight.

“Got it.” Joel agreed.

The raiders camp was only a few miles to the east from Jackson. The smoke was billowing high in the air as Joel and Tommy used the snowy evergreens as cover. They had since dismounted from their horses and continued on foot. The camp they stumbled upon was freshly abandoned..but why keep the fire going? Was the first thought that crossed both Joel and Tommy’s minds. They had the barrel of their rifles aimed at the ready as they cautiously crept through the camp. The smell of rotting flesh only began to intensify as they neared the source of the fire.

What they stumbled upon was nothing short of gruesome. Five bodies in total stacked upon chopped down logs. It was difficult to make out facial features, as the deceased bodies were charred to a crisp. One thing was for certain, these people were not infected.

“Were they killed for sport?” Tommy questioned as Joel slowly crouched down next to a body that wasn’t as scorched completely. He could make out feminine features and long follicles of hair. He could feel the bile churn deep in the pit of his stomach as he looked away and pressed his face into the collar of his jacket to try and block out the smell. “These are women, Tommy. Five of ‘em. All dead.”

“Jesus fuck. What the hell happened here?” Lucas and Cody had smelled the fire as well. They were in utter disbelief as they approached the slow burning fire.

“Raiders.” Joel muttered under his breath as he slowly stood back up. His knees cracked from the movement as he grinded his teeth together to block out the uncomfortable tightness in his back.

“Were they infected?” Lucas had asked.

“No. They were just..people.” Tommy somberly confirmed.

Silence washed over the four men as they retreated from the fire. Joel kicked at a pair of heavy chains that laid upon the ground with his boot. “These women were prisoners.”

“We need to put this fire out, and then report back to Maria immediately. She’s goin’ to want to hear about this, and I already know she ain’t gonna be happy.” Tommy muttered as he slung his rifle strap along his shoulder.

“Tommy, we can’t just leave them here. They deserve a proper burial. They deserve to be laid to rest..” Joel couldn’t help but wonder how long these five women were enslaved. Could they have been saved if the patrol group had left earlier? Five lives could have been saved if only he had just—

“Joel, I hear you brother, but the ground is too hard. We can’t bury them. I’m sorry.” Tommy was sorry. These five women deserved better. He wanted to be able to bring them peace as well, but some things were just not possible.

“Fine. I’ll fuckin’ do it myself.” Joel snapped as he slung his rifle strap over his shoulder in one swift movement. He started the trek back to his horse while Lucas and Cody kicked a bit of snow over the dying embers.

Joel returned with a blanket from his saddle bag. He was going to attempt to move the bodies, but he was afraid that their charred bones would shatter. Instead he gently laid the blanket over their remains. He stood there for a good solid five minutes just staring down at the snow covered earth with a clenched jaw, before he finally walked away.

For the entirety of the somber ride back to Jackson, Joel was dead silent.

It had felt like months had passed since you had last seen Joel Miller. In all actuality, it had only been one month. Your brain was just going all doomsday mode on you and convincing you it had been longer. At first you had tricked yourself in believing that maybe Joel didn’t actually want to be your friend. Maybe he was just lying. Maybe he too thought of you as just the nutty coffee woman. It wasn’t till Maria had given you a surprise visit to your little coffee shop. While she was quietly sipping on her latte, you couldn’t help but ask if she had seen Joel lately. You felt slightly pathetic with a sprinkle of naivety. Were you really that desperate for human connection?

“I assigned him, Tommy and a few other men to patrol the late night shift. They stumbled upon something in the woods, and brought it to my attention. Now, before you start freaking out, we are safe here. What they found was just concerning, and they’re making sure that there is no active threat that we need to pay any concern to.”

You paused the movements of the towel below your palm as you were wiping down the countertop. “Oh. I thought maybe he just..nevermind. What exactly did they find in the woods that was concerning, Maria?”

“Beanie, you know I can’t disclose that to you. All I need you to remember is that you're safe. That’s why we have patrol parties. They keep everyone in the commune safe. I just figured you were deserving to know that Joel hasn’t been blowin’ you off for the past month. Him and Tommy are resting in the morning after patrolling all night. It shouldn’t be an issue now that the weather is starting to shift. Usually means that people are movin’ on as resources will be plentiful again.”

You let out a sigh as you crossed your arms over your chest. It did feel silly in some way that you let your brain convince you that Joel was in fact blowing you off. “Yeah.” You mumbled under your breath. “I know why you can’t disclose that information to me.”

“You’ll see him in a few weeks, Beanie. Don’t worry.” Maria reassured you.

By the time that you did see Joel again, winter wasn’t quite ready to release her icy grip around the earth. She was going to cling on just a bit longer. It was late at night and to put it simply? You were having a rough time. Spending the majority of your day alone was beginning to close in around you. The thoughts were growing louder and louder, and the nightmares you had begun to experience were the same sequence over and over like a vicious cycle that you were sucked down into, unable to escape its painful clutches. That's how you found yourself sitting alone on your roof. Your bedroom window was opened just enough that you were able to climb out onto the roof tiles. You were shivering at first, trembling as your teeth rattled against your jaw. Soon enough, the nipping chill didn’t feel as painful. A peaceful numbness washed over you as if you were in a trance.

Joel had just gotten back from being on patrol. He stopped at the stables to untack his horse, Tex and then he was heading home. He passed by your house every night, and he would stop at your front gate, debate seeing if you were awake, before he would ultimately decide going straight home was easier. On this particular night he was torn from his path home. All because he swore he saw a shadowy figure sitting on your rooftop. He thought maybe his own mind was playing tricks on him until he stepped closer to your house. He was then able to make out a human shape sitting upon the roof tiles. He didn’t even have to guess hard if it was you sitting up there. He just knew.

He called your name, and you didn’t budge a smidge.

“For fuck sakes.” He muttered under his breath as he cupped his hands on either side of his face and yelled your name once more. “BEANIE!” This time his baritone voice broke through the figurative icy shell that was wrapped around you like a cloak. You finally looked down, squinting through the vast darkness.

“Woman is gonna fuckin’ freeze to death out here. Fuck. What the hell is she doin’ up there anyway?!?” He muttered to himself as he pushed open your gate. “I’m comin’ up!” He yelled from the top step of your front porch.

Joel?

The sounds of his heavy boot steps descending up your staircase sounded muffle to your ears as you slowly dropped your chin to rest along your kneecap.

“Jesus fuck, Beanie. What the hell are you doin’ out here?” Joel harshly whispered as he pushed open your bedroom door. He had genuine concern stricken through his hardened features.

“Sitting outside on the roof.” You murmured.

“Yeah, ya don’t say? I can see that you’re sittin’ on the roof, but its fuckin’ freezin’ out here. Why don’t ya have a jacket? A blanket? Beanie, you’re gonna fuckin’ freeze to death out here.” He was already slipping his own jacket off of his shoulders and gently placing it along your shoulders as he carefully climbed through the window and onto the roof beside you.

“I don’t really feel the cold anymore, Joel.” There was a lack of emotion in your tone as your eyes slowly flitted over to him.

“Fuck. Well, that ain’t good either, darlin.’”

“I just..needed to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating in there.”

“Somethin’ happen? How long..have you been feelin’ this way Beanie?” Joel asked you softly as he met your soft gaze.

“I don’t know. A while?”

Joel sighed as he rested his weight back on his palms. “Well, I've felt that way before too. Numerous times actually. I’ll have these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and…my heart feels like it’s stopped.” He softly admitted.

“Like…you can’t breathe?”

“Yeah, like there’s water in my lungs instead of oxygen. Like i’m drownin’ and no matter how hard I swim, I can’t make it to the surface.” He murmured.

“Like..the darkness is closing in? Swallowing you whole?”

“Yeah, but that’s why you gotta look for the light. When you're lost in the darkness, look for the light.”

Joel’s words hung heavy in the air as you both sat in silence, looking up at the vast array of stars that were outshone by the brilliant pale white moon. Shining like a beacon in the inky black sky.

“Joel?” You asked through the growing silence.

“Hm darlin?’”

“Joel, what keeps you moving forward?”

Joel didn’t even have to give a single thought to your question. He already knew the answer. It was family. Family was the one thing that kept moving him forward in this new life.

“Family. You keep goin’ for family.” He confirmed as he watched the way you absentmindedly scratched at your arm, wiggled your nose as you let out a puff of icy air. “I don’t have any family.”

“That ain’t true at all. We’re friends, you and I. Friends can be family. What about Maria and Tommy? Wouldn’t you consider them to be your family as well?” Joel was looking straight into your eyes now as he softly spoke.

“You..consider me to be your family?”

“Darlin’, absolutely I do. You are my family. Why do you think I'm up here with ya right now?”

“To keep me from freezing to death?”

“Well, yes. But also because..I like spendin’ time with you. You think I'd come up here if I didn’t care about ya? I got a bad back and knees, darlin.’ One fatal slip off here and I'm toast.” He stifled a chuckle as his hand was now resting close to your own along the roof tiles

“Please, don’t fall.” Your pinky slowly looped around his.

“I ain’t gonna fall, dontcha worry.”

“Well, for the record, I'm glad you came up here.” There was a ghost of a smile on your lips as you looked over at him once more.

“Me too.” He gave your pinky a gentle squeeze. “Hey, if ya want..maybe you can go spend some time with Dina and Ellie? Help out around the stables? I know they can always use an extra set of hands.” He softly suggested.

“I guess I could do that, huh? I could use some more fresh air and I do like to see the horses.”

“Well, there ya go darlin.’ Sounds like you got it all figured out. I just know they’ll also appreciate seein’ another friendly face. Ellie ain’t got many friends either beside Dina and Jesse. I uh—think you’ll get along really well.”

“Joel?..” you asked as your cheek came to rest along his covered shoulder.

His heart skipped a beat as he did his best to not move and disturb you.

“Yeah Beanie?” He gently asked.

“Thank you.”

“What are ya thankin’ me for?” He asked as he cleared his throat under his breath.

“For being my friend.”

His heart had nearly just gone and burst right out of his chest as the frigid air turned the tips of his cheeks and nose bright red. He was secretly thankful that it was far too dark for you to detect the blush rising on his skin.

“You’re welcome darlin.’”

The sun was just beginning to peek above the horizon when Joel had finally convinced you to go back inside. He was genuinely concerned that parts of your body were frozen. Despite his aching back, and tired joints, he stayed with you until he felt like you were safe. His eyelids were beginning to droop as he rested his palm along his chin. His head bobbed as he struggled to stay awake. You were busy making a fresh pot of coffee and homemade cinnamon rolls, and you didn’t see his slumped form until you had turned around.

“Fiddlesticks,” you softly murmured as you set your bowl down and attended to his side. You gently shook his shoulder a few times before he was startled awake.

“Hey, how about you go and lay down on the couch? Rest up before you head home?”

You didn’t have to ask him twice as he slowly pulled himself up from the kitchen chair and trudged into the family room. You followed him shortly after and grabbed the thick quilt from alongside the couch and draped it over his sleeping frame. His arms were crossed over his chest as he snored softly through his much deserved slumber.

When he awoke hours later, there was a mug of coffee on the coffee table next to the couch along with a freshly baked cinnamon roll. Under the plate there was a scribbled note that read, Went to go see Dina and Ellie at the stables. Make yourself at home. -Beanie

He carefully tucked the note into his flannel pocket as he sat up. He took a hefty swig from the mug of coffee before he picked up the cinnamon roll. It smelled heavenly. With just the right amount of cinnamon and vanilla as the icing slowly oozed down the sides of his fingers. His first bite nearly had him moaning from the sugary taste. He devoured the entire thing, before drifting right back off to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around the quilt that you had laid on him.

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Remember, I no longer am doing tag-lists. Please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates and turn on post notifications to be notified when I post new fics/chapters

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aihoshiino · 2 months

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Between Akane, Kana, and Ruby, which do you think is the best written, and has more depth outside of their relationship/crush on Aqua? The argument I’ve been seeing most often from diehard fans of any of the three girls is that the other two (or one of the other two) don’t have any depth beyond liking Aqua. Been seeing this especially from people who hate Kana, but also from Akane haters and Ruby haters

Anon I truly believe you sent this with nothing but good faith in your heart but never before have I received an ask that looked more like the internet equivalent of someone handing me a baseball bat and pointing me in the direction of a hornet's nest. AND BROTHER, I'M ABOUT TO START SWINGING!!!!

In order from best to worst I'd say right now, it goes Kana -> Akane -> Ruby. If you'd asked me this question in a pre-123 world I probably would've said it's Ruby -> Kana -> Akane but… well i'll be getting into what existing in a post-123 world has done for ruby's character soon enough anyway lol.

I fully expect to be hit with accusations of bias in this regard both because I just have generally always liked Kana and fandom lately has been so fucking weird about her but the reason I like Kana is because I think she's the most consistent and fleshed out beyond the scope of her relationship with Aqua. Like, to be clear, all the girls definitely revolve around him way more than they should - to a degree, this is just kind of the nature of the beast in a story like OnK where a lot of characters' foothold into the story are their personal relationship with the protag. But so much of their screentime and story relevance is eaten up by the romance subplots that it ends up coming at the expense of giving the viewer a strong sense of who they are outside those relationships.

This is the trap I think Akane falls into, to the detriment of her character writing. On paper, she's a super interesting character with a lot of potential to add to the story's themes and overall commentary but her actual role in the story and the context within which she's allowed relevance is purely just Being Aqua's Love Interest. Hell, her foothold into the cast period is just that she and Aqua are fake dating and Akane is catching both feelings and a sense of indebted gratitude towards him, so she's totally down to match his freak about it. There's a reason I think Tokyo Blade is her best post-LoveNow arc and it's because while the developing relationship between her and Aqua is an important part of the story, it's absolutely not Akane's focus when compared to everything else she's got going on with Kana. After this arc, though, she's given basically zero plotlines or things to do that aren't wholly predicated on Being Aqua's GF and the interesting underlying issues suggested to exist in her character go largely ignored in favor of her serving Aqua's story. She doesn't really have any relationships with the other cast members outside of Kana and even that ends up devolving into love triangle slop. The result is that, based purely on what exists in the text of the story, Akane is isolated from any other character that she could interact with to create a sense that she has a life and interior world unrelated to Aqua.

This is also why I say Ruby is the worst hit by the Love Triangle Brainrot Disease out of the three heroines because she had an interesting, lively character with a full world and social life that had nothing to do with Aqua only for 123 to come along and infect her with terminal love interest brainrot. Honestly, Ruby being Like This with Aqua right now is probably the biggest singular issue with OnK at the moment, because it means one of the series' primary protagonist is stuck in this malformed relationship cul-de-sac where the feelings we've spent the entire series building up and fleshing out have somehow simultaneously taken over her entire character at the expense of all her other ongoing plotlines while also going entirely unaddressed by the narrative. 123 essentially wiped Ruby's slate clean of anything that wasn't the AquRuby stuff and then proceeded to treat it like a massive joke for literally 20 entire chapters - once again, at the expense of what was a genuinely really necessary arc for her. Ruby's so-called 'revenge' peters out with a wet fart because all the moments leading up to it that should have given any of it weight are offscreened in favour of yet another panel of Ruby splooging over her brother. But despite this being like the one singular thing her character has going on right now, Akasaka is simply refusing to address the massive incest elephant in the room, which means that both Ruby as a character and the story as a whole are robbed of opportunities to develop and be developed by an exploration of how that massive taboo intersects with and affects… literally anything! Since 123, we've gotten exactly one chapter that bothered to even pretend it was taking Ruby's feelings seriously but despite it ending on perhaps one of The Biggest Status Quo Shifts in the whole series… it too has gone entirely unaddressed!!!

Both Akane and Ruby are trapped in this bog of having their entire characters reduced to revolving round Aqua while being disallowed from meaningful development that would probably advance or give closure to that relationship. Akane… sort of gets this with her whole "i'm his mom now btw kana you should suck him silly" thing and her big dramatic haircut but even then, she's still orbiting Aqua and his revenge quest because apparently she has nothing better to do. Ruby, meanwhile, is in this baffling place where the story is having to twist itself into so many pretzels to avoid addressing whatever the hell is going on with her and Aqua before the Akasaka ordained Most Dramatic Moment that she is not getting any moment-to-moment development that might even risk letting her address or untangle any of this stuff. She and Aqua are not allowed to have any direct on-screen interactions and even when they did in 157, it just felt plastic and artificial and honestly kind of forced because of that failure to so much as acknowledge UH, HEY, REMEMBER WHEN RUBY STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN AQUA'S THROAT?

anyway. ALL THAT UP ^ THERE ^ is the reason I think Kana is the character who feels the most fleshed out beyond the bounds of her relationship with Aqua, ironically because of having comparatively less romantic focus and explicitly romantic interactions with him. Because less of her screentime is taken up by romance drama, it allows her to just breathe and exist as a person without her entire role in the story being Aqua's Love Interest. Her major moments of development are all built on Kana's own backstory and baggage which has basically nothing to do with Aqua and everything to do with her own insecurities, her history of abuse and abandonment, her obsession with acting and her fervent desperation to cling to the entertainment industry even when it has made clear that it doesn't want to make a place for her anymore, because so much of her personhood is warped by and tangled up in her childhood growing up in the public eye. That's not to say Aqua isn't involved in Kana's arc and he has an undeniably huge impact on her, but when you look at the ways his interactions with her push her story along it very much feels like Kana is just having her own arc that Aqua is serving and sometimes intersecting with rather than the other way around (as it feels for Akane and Ruby).

WITH ALL THAT SAID… it is just blatantly a bad faith reading of the series to the point of flat out lying about the contents of the story to say any of the three heroines have nothing going on outside their relationships with Aqua, even if we don't get as much focus on that stuff as I'd like. Ruby has her whole history as Sarina and the experiences of abuse, disempowerment and abandonment that have created the bullheaded high-energy Ruby of the present day. Akane struggles with low self-worth and tendencies towards creating narratives for herself and other people in her head that don't always survive impact with reality. Kana has… well, I rambled about all that up there lol. In fact, all three of the heroines are interested in Aqua for imo, at least hypothetically well developed reasons that have observable and tangible roots in their own histories and personal baggage and how Aqua, as a person, has impacted them.

The issue is not with the girls themselves or their feelings for Aqua. The issue is that Akasaka is a romcom guy flying by the seat of his pants trying to write a murder mystery character drama and it's just not what he's cut out for. So he falls back on what he knows - the romance stuff - regardless of how it does or does not cohere with the arcs of the characters involved or the wider story at large. He simply doesn't have the chops to balance both halves of the story at once and his clear interest in playing shipping drama for all its worth has ultimately compromised the integrity of the surrounding story, to the detriment of the characters involved.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk asks #onk spoilers #meta essays

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