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esperantoauthor · 3 years

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Title: Let Me Hold Your Hand Author: Esperanto | Beta Reader: @blaineandersimp Rating: T Status: Complete (4,349 words) Genre: Hurt/Comfort (emotional)

Summary: For months now, Kurt has wanted nothing more than for Blaine to hold his hand. He has yearned for it, ached for it. But now, now that it is finally happening the only hand Kurt wants to hold is his Dad’s. [or, what if the order of events in season 2 were different and Burt's heart attack happened *after* Kurt and Blaine became close friends?]

✨ Read it on Ao3 or below the cut ✨

It started off as a painfully ordinary day.

Life-changing events shouldn’t be allowed to happen on days like this, with the sun shining and fluffy white clouds in the air. On a day when his pop quiz was cancelled and they actually served something edible in the cafeteria. It should have happened on a horribly overcast day where a thick layer of cloud cover kept the sun from shining a single ray of hope down to the ground.

It shouldn’t have happened at all.

—

Terror grips his heart as soon as Ms. Pillsbury pulls him out of class. He can see the bad news written in the stern lines of her face.

“Kurt, your father had a heart attack.”

The world shatters around him, splintering into a thousand jagged pieces that catch against his skin. Kurt blurts out the first question that pops into his head.

“Is he dead?”

Kurt presses through the rushing in his ears to hear her response. “No, Kurt. He’s in critical condition; that’s all they would tell me. Kurt, I’m so sorry; you must be so scared.”

The air around him is thick like molasses, his face is numb, and his heart is pounding so loudly he can hear each beat ricocheting around in his skull. He doesn’t know what this feeling is. Desperation? Shock?

He stares at her wordlessly, eyes wide, as his world falls apart.

She looks so earnestly concerned that Kurt wants to slap her. How dare she look so sympathetic when she has no idea what this feels like. What it feels like to be going through this for the second time.

“I need to see him, please,” he begs.

“Of course,” Ms. Pillsbury says with a nod. “I’ll take you there now.

—

Coma.

Kurt flexes the fingers in his hands, stretching them out as far as he can, wiggling each finger just to feel his own body move, to make sure it is still there.

His father is in a coma.

Kurt wishes he had written down what the doctor had told him because he’s already forgotten most of it. Not that word though. He’s watched enough soap operas and medical dramas to know that a coma is bad. Really bad. It’s the kind of thing people wake up from with amnesia. At least on TV.

They won’t let him in the room and it takes every ounce of control he possesses not to scream in frustration. He imagines the windows in the ICU waiting room shattering but instead he finds a vending machine and fumbles his way into procuring a diet coke.

The drink is blessedly cold and the sugar seems to kickstart his brain a little bit. When was the last time he ate? Kurt is not sure how much time has passed.

Ms. Pillsbury is still sitting primly in the waiting room chair, glancing nervously whenever someone coughs. Kurt remembers that she is a germaphobe and in a brief moment of clarity he manages to feel grateful that she is here with him anyways, even if it must be hard for her to be in a place like this, surrounded by germs and disease.

“Kurt? There are a few things we need to get settled.”

What could possibly matter when his father is lying in a room somewhere and no one can tell him if he is going to wake up?

“I need to make sure that someone is looking after you tonight. We need to find you a friend or a relative to stay with.”

“I want to stay here,” he says firmly.

She presses her lips together. “I’ll see if that can be arranged. But right now, no one knows besides you, me, and Principal Figgins. I can’t stay here all night with you Kurt but I don’t want you to be alone. Is there a friend who might come sit with you?”

Kurt nearly asks for Mercedes but instead… “I guess I could call Blaine.”

“Who’s that?”

“He’s a friend of mine. He doesn’t go to McKinley but I… I feel safe when he’s around.”

Ms. Pillsbury nods softly and writes down the name. “Who else? Anyone close to Burt who should know? Do we need to call his workplace?”

“Oh my god, Carole! No one has told Carole.”

Ms. Pillsbury looks at him with a puzzled expression.

“My dad’s girlfriend,” he explains. “Carole Hudson? Finn’s mom.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful I didn’t realize that they were involved.”

Kurt finds her sudden perkiness unsettling. He clears his throat and looks at her expectantly.

“Would you like me to call her?”

“Please.”

—

When Kurt asks him to come to the hospital, for a brief terrible moment Blaine fears that the worst has happened and Karofsky has made good on his threats. Rage boils red hot in his chest at the thought of anyone harming Kurt, who is the best person he’s ever met.

“It’s my…it’s my dad, Blaine.” Kurt can barely get the words out, his voice cracking on the word ‘dad.’

“I’m on my way.”

—

The messy head of curls peering around the room is the first good thing that Kurt has seen since he heard the news. He catches Blaine’s eye and waves him over. Blaine deftly weaves his way through the backpacks and nurses until he makes it to the corner where Kurt and Ms. Pillsbury are waiting.

Blaine just stares at him, hazel eyes wide, before he pulls Kurt into his arms for a bone crushing hug. “I’m so sorry, Kurt. So, so sorry,” he whispers into Kurt’s ear, pulling him tighter, rubbing up and down his back.

It is the first moment of true comfort he has experienced since he heard the news and somehow that breaks the dam. Tears, hot and messy, finally come and he buries his face in Blaine’s shoulder, letting the thick fabric of Blaine’s sweater absorb his sorrow.

“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine says softly.

Somehow Blaine lowers them both onto the bench without letting go of Kurt. Kurt holds tight to the front of Blaine’s sweater, unwilling to chance that he might pull back before Kurt is ready for the world to see his face.

Blaine just lets Kurt use him, soak up comfort from him, asking nothing in return. He says nothing to acknowledge that they have only hugged briefly a few times before this and surely Kurt is asking too much of his friend right now.

But Blaine just lets him. Folds himself into whatever shape Kurt needs and just holds him, keeps him steady, supports him so he doesn’t fall to the floor and actually crack into pieces.

“Thank you for coming, Blaine,” he hears Ms. Pillsbury say, making conversation as if Kurt can’t hear them. “I’m so glad he has a friend to support him during this difficult time. Or… he said friend but, I mean…” she fumbles over her words.

Blaine’s chest bounces a few times with silent laughter. “We’re just friends, ma’am.”

“I’m just glad that he has someone. Kurt doesn’t… he doesn’t open up easily. Glee club has been so good for him. He’s made friends and they look out for each other. Will you two be alright if I head out? Carole is getting here as quickly as she can.”

“I’ve got him,” Blaine assures her.

—

After an eternity, they finally let Kurt see his dad.

Blaine shuffles his feet awkwardly. He wants to do whatever Kurt needs but he doesn’t know what that is. Does Kurt need moral support when he sees his dad for the first time or would it better to give him privacy? How is he supposed to know something like that? But asking feels like a burden.

A warm hand slips into Blaine’s. “Come?” Kurt asks hesitantly. Blaine nods and follows Kurt. He wonders where he wouldn’t follow his friend.

The door creaks when they open it and Kurt lets out a little gasp when he finally lays eyes on his father. There’s a feeding tube running into his nose and electrodes stuck to his skin, monitors beeping out their indecipherable codes. But at least they are beeping which is better than the alternative.

Kurt squeezes his hand so hard that Blaine grits his teeth. He waits for Kurt to move, to take a step towards his dad, perhaps to run to him. But Kurt just stands there, frozen.

Blaine gives him a minute but then, when he still doesn’t move, he pulls gently on Kurt’s hand, urging him to walk closer. Kurt finally snaps out of it and then suddenly he is the one dragging Blaine over to the bed.

“Dad,” he cries out. “I’m here, Dad. Please, you need to wake up.”

Blaine’s hand hurts but he resolves that he isn’t going to let go until Kurt decides it is time. His friend needs him and if this is what he has to give then it is Kurt’s, for as long as he needs it. Kurt who is so strong and so kind. Kurt whose whole world is this middle-aged mostly bald man that Blaine has only met once.

—

For months now, Kurt has wanted nothing more than for Blaine to hold his hand. He has yearned for it, ached for it. But now, now that it is finally happening the only hand Kurt wants to hold is his Dad’s.

“Squeeze my hand, Dad. I need to know that you can hear me.”

Nothing. Just a cold, limp hand that doesn’t squeeze back.

So he holds onto Blaine’s because it is warm and full of life and Kurt needs that right now. It crosses his mind that if circumstances were different, this would be exhilarating. If circumstances were different. He swallows thickly. He would give anything for circumstances to be different. He would even give up Blaine, who is becoming so important to him so fast, for circumstances to be different.

“Did I ever tell you about my tea parties?” he asks Blaine.

Blaine smiles fondly and shakes his head.

“It was one of my favorite games when I was little. I would arrange all of my stuffed animals and action figures, setting out little plates of cucumber sandwiches and giving everyone just the amount of sugar and milk that they asked for, making sure that everyone had what they needed.”

“Of course you did,” Blaine says, his smile growing wider.

If Kurt’s heart hadn’t beat itself into exhaustion hours ago, it might have skipped a beat.

“It’s not every dad that will play tea party with their son but he always said ‘yes,’ no matter how ridiculous he thought it was.”

“My dad definitely wouldn’t have done something like that with me,” Blaine replies solemnly.

Kurt’s heart, already broken and bleeding, still manages to ache for his friend. Blaine rarely talks about his parents. Kurt had assumed they were just very busy being high-powered executives but this latest revelation suggests that there is more to it than that. He gives Blaine’s hand a comforting squeeze and a questioning look.

“It was a long time ago, Kurt.” Blaine shrugs. “The tea parties sound really special.”

He nods. “And after she… after we lost her. I hadn’t played with it in years but suddenly that was all I wanted to do. I just wanted everyone to have their tea and their cookies. Why was that so important to me?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine responds. “Maybe you wanted to take care of them just like your mom used to take care of you?”

“I—“ Kurt stares at him wonderstruck. “Yeah, maybe. I…I never thought about it that way.”

Blaine shrugs. “I mean what do I know? I wasn’t there. I just… I mean just from how you described it and knowing you I just thought…I don’t know, I mean, please ignore me, I don’t know anything.”

“You know me,” Kurt counters.

Blaine squeezes his hand.

“Yeah. I know you.”

—

Blaine tries to wiggle some of the feeling back into his fingers without waking Kurt. He told himself he would let Kurt hold his hand as long as he wanted but he hadn’t thought through the repercussions of Kurt falling asleep clutching his hand, head resting on Blaine’s shoulder. His circulation isn’t aware that Kurt needs him.

He manages to readjust his arm enough that the blood starts to flow back into his hand. He sighs to himself in the silence and the half-darkness.

Blaine isn’t sure how Kurt is able to sleep with the beeping of the machines and the nurses coming in once an hour to check Burt’s vitals.

He must be exhausted.

Blaine wonders if he should have gone home. He didn’t exactly plan to spend the night with Kurt in his father’s hospital room. He figured he would come by, be there for Kurt, make sure he had something to eat, and then return home a couple hours later. But once he was there… he couldn’t tear himself away. Why couldn’t he tear himself away? Why was Kurt’s pain so utterly heartbreaking to see? Why was he so determined to do anything in his power to ease it, even slightly?

Blaine has always been a caring friend but he can’t imagine himself doing anything like this for Wesley or David.

But Kurt is just… Kurt has the biggest heart of anyone Blaine has ever met and he simply cannot stand to sit idly by while it is breaking.

An idea, half-formed, presses at the back of his mind, not quite coherent enough yet to rise to the forefront of his thoughts, but there nonetheless. Answers to those questions. The reasons to the why. He tries again to find a comfortable position on the chair and closes his eyes, hoping he can sleep a little before the nurse comes back.

—

Kurt isn’t sure where he is when he first wakes up. It takes a few sleepy moments before the unfamiliar sounds and smells alert him to the fact that he is definitely not in his bedroom. He starts to lift his arm to rub the sleep from his eyes but something heavy is holding it down.

Blaine.

Kurt stills, not wanting to wake his friend. Blaine’s hair is adorably rumpled from sleep and his clothes, once so neatly pressed, are scrunched and stretched from shifting around all night. Kurt feels the hot breath of Blaine’s exhale hit his neck and a shiver runs down his spine. Careful not to wake him, Kurt untangles himself from Blaine and tiptoes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and make use of the change of clothes he’d asked Blaine to bring him.

He feels fresher when he returns to the room, two paper cups of coffee in hand and smelling like Blaine’s laundry detergent.

“I’m sorry about the pants,” Blaine says when Kurt returns to the room.

Kurt shrugs. “They’re clean, which is about all I care about right now.”

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Blaine mutters as he accepts the coffee from Kurt. “You are a godsend, you know that?”

Kurt laughs and then he claps a hand to his mouth. His father is lying there in who knows what condition and here he is laughing.

“He would want you to laugh,” Blaine says softly.

Still stinging with embarrassment, Kurt lashes out. “How would you know?”

Blaine gapes at him. “I…I wouldn’t. I’m sorry, Kurt, I shouldn’t say stuff like that. I was trying to be comforting but, you’re right. I hardly know him. I just know how much he means to you.”

“I’m sorry, Blaine. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just… would it be ridiculous if I said it has been a long day?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Blaine offers his hand and Kurt accepts it gladly.

After coffee, they chat about reality TV and exchange show choir war stories, acting like Kurt’s world isn’t hanging in the balance just a few feet away in that hospital bed.

When the doctor comes by, Kurt listens eagerly for any scrap of good news but all he hears is that nothing has changed since yesterday.

The doctor leaves and Kurt sets his chair next to the bed, taking his father’s hand and silently begging him to give him a sign, give him anything to show that he is going to pull through this.

Blaine is there too, letting Kurt hold tight to him, letting Kurt hold his hand.

—

The exhaustion of barely sleeping the night before finally catches up with Blaine, and he nods off in his chair, head lolling onto Kurt’s shoulder.

When he wakes up, it is to the purest and most beautiful singing that he has ever heard.

Oh please, say to me

You'll let me be your man

And please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

“I’m right here, Dad,” Kurt whispers. The words cut at Blaine’s heart like dull knives. He rubs his thumb over the knuckles on Kurt’s hand, hoping that his touch can offer some small comfort to his friend in this moment of despair.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“How long was I out?” Blaine asks.

“About an hour. The nurse came by ten minutes ago and said there was no change. Blaine… I keep asking but they keep saying there is no way to tell when he will wake up. It could be hours or days or… “ Kurt trails off as if he cannot bear the thought of a longer unit of time.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you. Is there anything else I can do to help? Do you want me to get anything from your house or…?”

“Just stay with me? Please.”

“As long as you want me to,” he promises.

Kurt smiles warmly at him and squeezes his hand. Kurt mutters something under his breath. Blaine can’t make out most of the words but he swears one of them is “always.”

Always. He turns the word over in his mind and in his heart. His chest feels warm. There is that thought again, not yet coherent but gradually taking shape. The reasons to the why.

“Dad?” Kurt’s voice pulls him from his thoughts. “Dad! I’m right here Dad.”

“Kurt?” Blaine doesn’t understand Kurt’s sudden excitement.

“He moved. Oh my god, Blaine, he moved; I’m sure of it. I squeezed his hand and then I felt it.”

Blaine jumps to his feet, fumbling for the call button which he can’t seem to locate. “Nurse! NURSE!” he shouts loudly. Footsteps sound in the hallway and one of the nurses appears in the doorway, out of breath.

“He moved!” Kurt says in disbelief, tears of joy welling up in his eyes. “He’s waking up. My Dad is waking up.”

The nurse jumps into action, fiddling with the monitors and clamping something onto Burt’s hand. “Kurt, I need to warn you, he may be very confused when he wakes up. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s important that you stay calm.” She turns to Kurt’s dad, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Mr. Hummel? It’s time to wake up Mr. Hummel. Your son really wants to say hello.”

At first, it seems as though nothing is happening. Burt’s fingers wiggle a few more times. Tears run down Kurt’s cheeks that he doesn’t bother to brush away.

Minutes pass.

Blaine wonders if he needs to remind Kurt to breathe.

Then eyelashes flutter and Burt’s cerulean eyes, the exact same shade as Kurt’s, crack open and Kurt let’s out an audible gasp.

“Dad? I’m here Dad. I’m right here.”

“Hey, kiddo,” Burt whispers roughly.

“Dad!” Kurt responds with wonder. Kurt leans forward and grasps his father’s hand with both of his now. Blaine’s hand drops heavily to his thigh. He stares at it as if a foreign object. He’s barely had it to himself for more than a few minutes to use the restroom since he got here. Kurt doesn’t need him anymore. His hand feels too light suddenly, without the weight of Kurt bearing down on it, keeping it grounded. He feels untethered.

Kurt is whispering in hushed voices with his father and Blaine leans back in his chair, the full weight of the past 24 hours hitting him all at once. He could probably sleep for a week. He tries to remember the last time he checked in with his parents, but he isn’t sure. He decides he needs to take a walk. Stretch his legs. Maybe hunt down some coffee. Have a few moments alone with his thoughts.

He’s about to tell Kurt where he is going but he can’t bear to interrupt the emotional family reunion happening beside him. Kurt won’t notice his absence. He leaves without a word.

The too-bright lights of the hospital thrum overhead as he wanders down the corridor. He looks to his left to see a family jubilant as they sign release papers, a middle-aged man in a wheelchair looking eager to go home. He looks to his right and he sees a woman sitting on the floor, head in her hands, weeping like the world is ending. The hospital is a topsy-turvy kind of place. Dreamlike, almost.

Eventually he finds a vending machine that dispenses coffee. Blaine isn’t looking forward to drinking it but at this point he needs the caffeine enough to be desperate. He inserts enough cash for two coffees and carefully punches the buttons so he doesn’t order the wrong thing.

The rhythmic thudding of his feet on the shiny linoleum floors feels grounding as he makes his way back to the hospital room.

“Blaine!” Kurt calls out his name eagerly when he enters the room. “I was worried you had left without saying goodbye.”

Blaine is surprised by how disappointed Kurt sounds.

“Nah, just went to get some coffees. I figured we could both use a little pick-me-up.”

“You are a gentleman and a scholar,” Kurt praises, reaching out his hand to accept the paper cup.

Kurt blows on the hot drink and gives Blaine a soft, contemplative look. “I don’t know how to thank you for this Blaine.”

“It’s just vending machine coffee, Kurt.”

Kurt bumps his knee into Blaine’s playfully. “You know that’s not what I mean. I can’t believe you stayed with me this whole time. Not a lot of people would do that.”

“There aren’t a lot of people I would do that for,” Blaine admits. Kurt is special. Kurt has always been special, but over the last 24 hours it has become painfully obvious to Blaine just how special he is. His devotion to his father has moved Blaine.

Oh.

There it is. The reason to the why.

Kurt smiles and holds his hand out, a question in his eyes. Blaine smiles and reaches back, lacing their fingers together.

“I can’t believe that before yesterday I’d never held a boy’s hand before. And now I’ve held one for 24 hours straight. I might never let you go, Blaine. I’m addicted.”

“I could think of worse things to endure,” Blaine says with a smirk.

They fall silent, neither boy sure what to say, but both of them feeling something huge and irrepressible bubbling up in their hearts. Kurt let’s his thumb trace circles lightly on Blaine’s skin and Blaine feels his heartbeat begin to pick up and his mouth turns to cotton.

“Kurt I—”

“Blaine?”

“I lied.”

Kurt flinches and yanks his hand back, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and distrust.

I’m doing this all wrong.

“No, no that’s not what I meant. I... “ he reaches hesitantly for Kurt’s hand, asking, “Please?”

Kurt nods hesitantly. Blaine takes Kurt’s hand, holding it firmly with both of his, looking right into Kurt’s eyes.

“When I said there weren’t many people I would do this for. I lied. The truth is that there is only one person I would do this for. Because there is only one person I care about that much, whose happiness means so much to me that I couldn’t bear to see him sad without doing everything I could to comfort him.”

“Wow, I… Blaine, that’s really sweet. You’re my best friend and—”

Blaine cuts him off because he can’t bear to hear Kurt misunderstand. “ — no, no that’s not what I mean!” He desperately wants Kurt to understand. He needs Kurt to understand. Words fail him but his hands have known what to do since he got here.

They do not fail him now. He is reaching and finding and holding and guiding. Kurt’s lips are salty with tears when he finally tastes them, yet somehow the sweetest thing he’s ever known.

Blaine pulls back and clamps his hand over his mouth in horror. He can’t believe what he’s just done. Kurt’s father nearly died and all he is thinking about is kissing. Kurt is vulnerable right now and here he is throwing himself at him. This has to be the most inappropriate thing he has ever done.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry, Kurt.” He leaps to his feet and pushes down the urge to bolt from the room.

Kurt looks up at him in amusement. He crosses his arms. “Well you should be.”

Blaine hangs his head. “I know. I know. I just, I haven’t slept and it has been such an emotional day— not that that is any excuse. That was deeply inappropriate, I mean your father is upstairs getting an EEG for crying out loud and—”

Blaine stops blabbering when he feels something brush his cheek. He lifts his head to see that Kurt is inches away from him. “You should be sorry for taking so long to figure it out, dummy.”

Blaine’s heart soars and their lips crash together. Kurt lets out a soft whine that electrifies Blaine’s heart.

Kurt’s hand finds his and their fingers intertwine. Blaine is so very happy that he let Kurt hold his hand.

Even better, now he never has to let go.

#my fic #glee fanfiction #klaine fanfiction #hurt/comfort #emotional hurt/comfort #s2e3 grilled cheesus inspired #one shot #happy ending #world's best dad #burt hummel #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #klaine #glee #read it on ao3 #read it on tumblr #let me hold your hand

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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 3 years

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*sigh*

about the whole ‘do not ship real people. ever’ argument i’m gonna HAVE to say my piece on it and then i’m gonna shut up forever because i’ve heard it ALL and i just have to get all my thoughts out there even if no one reads them

i don’t know how else to explain i have never once ‘shipped’ something ever in my whole life. i have merely perceived and enthused over what EXISTS. like, correct me if i’m wrong, but....what would you ever get out of shipping two people who AREN’T actually together??? what is the point? you don’t get anything out of that; i mean, it sounds pretty exhausting and sad to look for proof where there is none. and they don’t get anything out of that. THAT is where it absolutely becomes gross and creepy and i have no respect for rps like that. septiplier is a PRIME example, where both people involved have gone on the record saying it destroys relationships because of course it does! why don’t people have any common sense! which is why my rule is to never let myself ‘ship’ something unless they are indisputably an item, and THAT’S where the cardinal rule of ‘don’t ship real people’ gets fuzzy.

i have been around the block in terms of rps HEAVILY with dan and phil. i have also engaged in a small way with joey and lauren(richpez) and reeve carney and eva noblezada from hadestown.(i have been correct in my assumptions[that they are in fact together] all three times so.....yeah, i kind of know what i’m on about) and from my well-versed experience, the essence and entertainment factor of rps is kind of the whole investigative nature? we become body language analysts and experts and stories resurface as do old tweets that when you put everything together, the natural conclusion(that yeah duh they’re obviously dating) would be super hard to ignore. and here is my thesis: shipping real people is fine as long as, 1. you have REALLY good reason to believe they are in fact in a relationship, to a point where it’s undeniable and 2. the speculation stays ONLINE, AWAY FROM THE PARTIES INVOLVED. both of these two coinciding statements have to be true for me to get behind it in any way.

anytime one of those rules are broken is when things get SUPER messy, and SUPER harmful SUPER fast. i’m gonna use dan and phil as an example again because i know what happened there the best. i’ve heard countless stories of people going right up to dan and asking who tops and who bottoms. there have been more than one instance of people going to meet and greets purely to corner them both and ask if they’re in a relationship. and props to dan and phil for putting themselves out there and risking...you know, those kind of interactions. because what the actual fuck. and yes, dan and phil are together, have been since 2009(and if you disagree i literally do not know how to explain that you are both blind and being willfully heteronormative), but that doesn’t give anyone the right to play an active part in it. witness it, sure. speculate with like minded individuals on tumblr? of course. but when you cross lines, and you KNOW you’re crossing lines..that is super, super uncomfortable for everyone involved. i do not disagree that that sort of thing is seriously stupid and harmful, which dan also confirmed in his coming out video that that sort of thing quite literally scarred him for life. just imagine how dehumanizing it would be, for people to perceive you as, not a person, but one half of a ship on the internet? and to feel entitled enough as to literally ask them about them it? gross. creepy. weird.

BUT! youtube clip analysis posts on tumblr is NOT THE SAME THING AS BEING DISRESPECTUL. honestly, any posting on tumblr(again! AWAY from the parties involved) is NOT THE SAME THING. talking about them in youtube or tiktok comment sections, not the same thing. and i’m talking about specific ships here, LIKE cockles, because they are what prompted this post from me.

i am not saying you have to agree with those type of posts, but like...just leave them alone? maybe? and if you call me crazy, i’m gonna laugh at you, because i know what i’m talking about and i could blow your mind.

to go even further, and i’ll use my two comfort couples as examples: on some level(WITH COUPLES THAT ACTUALLY EXIST), they probably, definitely appreciate being shipped. think about it. not the invasive aspects of it, like asking about what they do in private and investigating their addresses so you could maybe stalk them(which has happened and i think larry stylinson got it worse? i’m avoiding that whole thing because it sounds like an otherworldly mess). i’m talking the best part of it, which is seeing and sharing clips of them looking at each other and saying ‘they look so in love here’. both of my couples have terms coined after these types of things...’heart eyes howell’ ‘love eyes lester’ and the ‘unicorn laugh’ all come to mind.(misha doesn’t have a term but boy does he have the expressions) i mean, if you were in a relationship, and people saw how happy you were, and just like, basked in that happiness online, that’s kind of beautiful, no? i would want that.

and about my actual post where people are like ‘go outside. stop shipping real people this is crazy’ ...does my posting about an interview answer jensen gave in 2016 seriously hurt anyone in any way? really? maybe,,,,don’t interact with posts that aren’t to your own personal taste? again, jensen literally SAID THOSE THINGS. jensen and misha SAY CRAZY THINGS LIKE THAT. they SHARE ANNIVERSARY POSTS. THEY MAKE JOKES ABOUT THEM HAVING SEX 24/7. THEY ARE PUTTING A GUN TO OUR HEADS AND FORCING US TO WITNESS THEM. jensen SAID that answer because that’s the furthest he can go without completely outing himself as a bi, poly man and i’m simply seeing that and reacting to it, just like he wants me to. i don’t feel wrong or weird for any analysis posts when it comes to them because they are actively egging us on and actually do want us to know. so.

i guess i’m ranting because i resent being called, like, a crazy shipper fangirl or something. i am not crazy. or stupid. and i have a brain and would never cross any lines. and maybe consider why ships like cockles and phan gained so much traction in the first place. maybe consider we’re not reaching and never have been. on that note, maybe consider why DESTIEL gained so much traction when tptb never intended for it to happen. ...

#ethics of rps #ethics of rpf #anti rps for ts #cockles #dan and phil #phan #jensenxmisha #myposts #larry stylinson #septiplier #rps #rpf

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yanderehive · 4 years

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General Headcanons ~ Yandere!All Might

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ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs ➳ none

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ ➳ headcannons

ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ɢᴏᴛ ɪɴꜰᴀᴛᴜᴀᴛᴇᴅ

It'll honestly take him some time to come around to actually notice you

He's a bit oblivious, especially if you know him in his small might form

He's insecure about his looks in this form and genuinely think he has little chance at romance

but once he does realize someone is actually interested in him no matter how much, his heart practically soars

He won't mess up this chance is the promise he makes to both you and himself

It'll take some time but eventually his adoration for you grows into an infatuation he can't seem to shake

Watching you from across the room, stealing small glances at you while you work, and desperately trying to keep a conversation with you

Toshinori will also want to know everything there is to know about you

Who are you really? Why do you like him?

You become his light and his world, and soon everything will begin to revolve around you

ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴛʏᴘᴇ?

He's without a doubt an obsessive and protective yandere

His thoughts are often plagued by you when he's alone

He wonders if you've eaten, rested, or done anything interesting today

He daydreams often about you telling him about your day when he comes home from work and how your eyes would light up when you greet him

He does however have his possessive moments

He doesn't want you to leave him and is always a bit paranoid you'll find someone better, someone stronger

sᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ & ᴋɪᴅɴᴀᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

It's not so much stalking, its moreso Toshi following you around

He can be a bit overbearing and when he notices you've picked up on it, he falls back and chooses to instead just observe you

He's slick about how he gets information about you

He disguises it as genuine interest which it is in a way, but does it so casually his darling wouldn't think anything of it

Due to his paranoia and obsession with you, him bringing you home with him isn't too outlandish

He wouldn't jump at the chance to take you, but it does cross his mind often

You would be safer, better protected against any villains who have a vendetta against the retired symbol of peace

Hearing your cries and pleads to be free break his heart

Why can't you see that he's doing this for you?

He learns to block it out, but the thought of you fearing and or hating him hurts a lot more than he lets on

ʜᴏᴡ ᴛɪɢʜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ʟᴇᴀsʜ?

All might is fairly stern with what you can and cannot do

It's not because he doesn't want you to have freedoms, but he doesn't want to take the risk of you getting hurt

Cooking for example, is a big no no unless he's there to supervise

What if you accidentally burn yourself? What if you slip on water and hurt yourself?

He can't take that chance, he won't

Relaxing and roaming the halls of his home are the only things he'll let you do alone

Anything else he has to be there

If he can't be a hero for everyone else anymore, he can at least be one for you

He doesn't like punishing you at all

He feels that whatever you've done to upset him had to have been a reaction to something he has done

So he'll just take away even more privileges, restricting practically everything you could do to kill time until you go stir crazy

Don't get the wrong idea, he's not all that much of a softie with discipline

If it still doesn't work, he would definitely make an example out of a few friends or family members of yours

All the years of his experience taught him to know just where to hit to make it count, quirk or not

ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠs ᴀ ʀɪᴠᴀʟ

It's been quite some time since he's had a lover, so be patient with him

He's awkward at first, but still very loving

He loves to do domestic things with his darling like cooking and doing laundry

It gives him a sense of peace, like maybe you don't hate him as much as he thought

He adores you and hangs onto your every word

so if you happen to mention your favorite food or something along those lines, expect it to turn up somewhere in the house waiting for you

Although he can't activate his quirk for very long anymore, he'll still do it in attempts to make you laugh

If you show any kind of care towards him like worrying over his health, he'll be over the moon and will coddle you afterward

Playing with his hair or complimenting him boosts his ego greatly, do it and you'll be rewarded in more ways than one

Toshinori is a very forgiving man, but there's only so much a person can take

Drawing the attention of another will never end well for all three parties involved

The rival will of course be disposed of quickly and mercilessly, leaving him to come home to you, still donning the blood of said rival

He normally would hide this from you, but in this case, he'll make sure you see it to make a point

As for you, you'll obviously be distraught as anyone would, especially after for the first time since your stay with Toshinori, he threatens you, in a way

He doesn't threaten harm or anything, but he does make a point to tell you what happens to people that try and come between you

As for Toshinori himself, after he's calmed down, he'll apologize endlessly and try to make up for any stress he's caused you

But he still stands firm on the fact he will bring an end to anyone trying to steal you away, friend or foe

#yandere bnha #yandere bnha x reader #yandere all might #yandere all might x reader #yandere pro hero #yandere pro heros #yandere requests #yandere headcanons #yandere general headcanons #yandere ua #yandere mha #gender neutral #gender netural reader #yandere reader insert #yandere rival #yandere au #yandere x reader #yandere anime

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heartate-aa · 3 years

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first of all. let me start by saying this.

there is no place for hatred of any kind in this community, or any community for that matter. no racism, no transphobia, no homophobia, nothing.

i think it’s important to recognize that there’s a time and place for everything, be it certain discussions amongst certain people or whatever. i think it’s extremely important to recognize that for a good majority of the time, it’s not our job to police the language that someone chooses to use when speaking about themselves. that being said, that doesn’t take away from the fact that the language in use can still be distasteful and harmful, and that’s an important sentiment to express. it is also so important to recognize that just because you are ok with using that language, even if you’re not using that language as a blanket statement to necessarily everyone, it doesn’t make it any less offensive. but again, if it’s not our place or right to police their personal use of it, it’s not something that should be squashed with harsh language, and instead i think it warrants better conversation to discuss the harm rather than be harsher about it. but i do agree that like ... usage of certain offensive languages just ... maybe shouldn’t be done publicly because not everyone will take kindly to it and of course people will be upset. there’s no getting around that. but there’s no room for anon hate or adding fuel to the fire, especially publicly and making a big mockery of things, you know? it doesn’t solve anything.

i don’t agree with any kind of witch hunt and callout culture in general. it’s so important to callout people who are genuinely vile and abusive and toxic, and sometimes it’s such a hard line to define when it comes down to whether or not you should bring something out publicly or resolve it quietly. i see both sides of this and i sympathize with everyone’s sentiments. i feel so anxious and nervous because . . . i just want to write quietly and vibe with everyone and i adore everyone who’s “opposite” to this situation and i would like to remain on good terms with everyone. i don’t feel as if it should be an issue because i’m not going to go out of my way to force everyone to cross paths and interact with people they don’t want to interact with.

i don’t like being made to feel as if i’m under obligation to choose a side when it’s not my personal involvement, and that doesn’t make me complicit or enabling in anyone’s behavior. it isn’t my business and i will not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. that being said, if i was witness to friends being shady or doing something gross, i will absolutely check them on it.

i’ve been so quiet because i really really really hate the sentiment that comes across as a huge guilt trip of “if you don’t rb this you’re part of the problem” when i am not involved, and i’m sure this is something many others feel too. it’s guilt trippy and extremely anxiety inducing and it feels really awful and makes me feel so guilty when i shouldn’t, because i’m not, and others are not, burying their heads in the sand. we’re not ignoring the issue. i feel for everyone involved so deeply and i’m so sorry that this is something that you guys are enduring and have endured for so long, and i feel especially for those who have been dragged into this despite being uninvolved and i hope that you find a way to relax and take time to yourself because you deserve it. but truly. the guilt tripping statements like “if you don’t rb this you’re enabling this” is NOT the move. because i think i can say this for a lot of us that we would check our friends if they said or did something that was fucked up and that we’d stand up to toxicity. please, when you’re trying to call anyone to action for any reason, please do not use language like this. it’s guilt trippy. it’s anxiety inducing. i know that there’s no ill intent behind it, but the way it comes across isn’t great and i think there’s other ways to express the need to share things that are important.

i think i can speak for most of us when i say that the majority of us here do not agree with grossness like transphobia and bullying and witch hunts and abuse and general toxicity. just because we don’t necessarily involve ourselves, doesn’t mean that we don’t see it or that we agree with the nastiness that’s occurring. i will never stand for abuse or bullying and any kind of gross toxicity. and if i run into someone who’s nasty, or if i’ve been warned about someone and i use my discretion to tread with caution, it’s not because i’m ignoring the warnings or enabling them, i’m trying to make my own decisions and if it turns out that yikes, jeez, they’re a bad apple after all, i’ll have learned my lesson you know.

it’s ok to block people. the point of the internet is to curate your own personal experience and make it comfortable and best suited to your needs. you should not feel guilty for blocking anyone. you should not feel guilty for standing up for yourself and your friends and creating the best environment for all of you, and most especially yourself. in a world as crazy as the one that we live in, it’s so important to take care of ourselves and find our happiness, and for a lot of us, that’s tumblr rp and weaving together beautiful stories with one another. this community has been really beautiful, but it also has its occasional bouts where it just ... doesn’t feel as great. i think a lot of the issues people have can be solved with conversations, perhaps mediated by neutral and unbiased parties if that makes it easier, but i digress.

i just. really hate to see people hurt and see people upset and fighting one another, especially when it’s amongst friends or people who were friends. disagreements happen. we can’t all get along. and no we shouldn’t enable toxicity or gross language or anything nasty. we should absolutely take initiative to act on that and check the people around us, because hey, maybe some people don’t really realize how insensitive something is until it’s expressed to them. i think people are capable of learning and changing and growing.

i want to get along with everyone. i don’t want to feel like i’m being forced to choose between my friends or mutuals that i adore. i just want to enjoy myself here with everyone. i don’t want to be made to feel bad just because i talk to someone who doesn’t like someone else, you know?

anyway. i’m sorry this is so long. i doubt anyone has read this far because i really wrote a fucking book here i just. had so many feelings that i’ve been sitting on all day and it just. got out of hand. adhd rambling and all. i’ll delete this whenever.

please be kind to one another. there is no room for hatred here. i don’t care if you dislike someone or don’t get along with someone. i hate that tumblr preaches about positivity and being kind and then we don’t take our own advice. we never know what someone has going on, and even if you disagree with someone, there’s no place for hateful language or sending anons or whatever. be kind. we can’t all get along and be friends and i know it’s hard to just. ignore people. and we shouldn’t have to be in a place where we even need discussions like this because most of us are adults and we should know how to act and talk to and treat people.

to everyone, be kind to yourselves most of all. i love everyone here, i really do. i feel for everyone deeply and i’m here if you need someone to talk to or game with or chat about plots with, or whatever. take a breather if you need it. please take care of your health! i don’t want anyone to be hurt more than they already are in this time, and the world is difficult enough as it is, and we don’t need our hobbies to become burdens.

#anyway this is the . only thing im going to say abt everything bc it's #not my place to speak at all but for some reason #bc im just so idk! soft and naive and stupid i feel so obligated to n u know #this got really long but idk im trying to be as coherent as possible #i am just anxious and upset and idk ive been sitting on my thoughts all day #no one's going to read this but.#bc it's so long #this is. extremely long. really. really. long. i just. idk i got upset #im incapable of being concise im sorry. it's . the fucking adhd #im going to delete this eventually. i dont want it on my blog #negative -#drama -#vent -#ooc.#tbd.

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letterstoleia · 3 years

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Important Lessons Learned from Gabby and Brian

As an author and advocate for survivors of domestic violence, I’ve learned a lot about the predictable patterns of unhealthy relationships. After years of personal experiences, research, and outreach, I’ve learned to recognize the tell-tale signs of abuse. I am not a licensed therapist, social worker, police officer, or minister. So please understand I shared my thoughts as 3 a.m. musings. When a few people asked me to make the post public, I agreed, reluctantly. I had no idea this message would resonate with so many people. I've worked back through the original post to explain a bit better how I'm feeling. I realize not everyone will agree with me, and I respect all opinions and views. All I ask is that we engage in respectful discourse on all sides. Thank you all.

In recent days, the tragic events involving Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie have given us a lot to learn. This case is still under investigation, and I can only make assumptions based on the textbook patterns of abuse I’ve witnessed too many times to count. I also recognize that multiple families are grieving, and I have tremendous empathy for everyone involved. However, many survivors will resonate with at least some of the following insights, and I’m hoping we can use this tragedy to shift the way we as a culture approach the complicated issue of domestic abuse.

Let’s examine 30 important lessons this couple teaches us:

1. Followers on social media saw a smiling, happy couple, full of love and wanderlust, setting out for a cross-country adventure while documenting all the joys of young life. In many cases, targets become very good at smiling through the pain.

2. When the public was shown body camera footage captured by Moab City Police officer Daniel Robbins, (who pulled Laundrie and Petito over after the 911 call on August 12), some viewers assumed Petito was suffering from mental illness and Laundrie, while nervous, was the steadier of the two.

3. Other viewers assumed both partners were equally at fault—the old “it takes two” myth that doesn’t really apply to most abusive situations.

4. Some people even assumed Petito was the abuser and Laundrie was the victim.

5. These three assumptions probably crossed everyone’s mind as a possibility (they did mine). Healthy minded people tend to give others the benefit of the doubt, especially when someone is being accused of a negative act. Also, we can all understand that mental illness is a difficult situation and can tax even the kindest most gentle of souls (and the people who love them). Unfortunately, in many cases, this thought pattern leads us to assume the victim is mentally ill or that the victim is to blame for an altercation.

6. “Victim blaming” can happen even in the worst cases of abuse because we don’t see the longitudinal story unfolding. What we don’t see is that the target has managed to keep things together until she reached her threshold, at which time we may see her crying, yelling, or breaking down emotionally. By exhibiting those behaviors, many might assume the target is “crazy,” and it’s natural for us to feel as if the more stable person is more trustworthy.

7. If we listen carefully to Laundrie’s conversation with the officers, he even laughs and says, “She’s crazy.” (17.09) Then he dismisses it as a joke. Of course, he’s already put this claim in the officers’ minds (and by the nonchalant way he says it, many might assume it’s not the first time he’s said these words.)

8. So while viewers (and officers) start wondering if perhaps the target is “crazy,” the abuser plays the part of the poor, patient partner who has to deal with this irrational person. In the video, Laundrie mentions Petito’s anxiety and her OCD, painting her as an unstable partner. (Please note: I’m not at all justifying any physical violence against either party. No one should intentionally harm any other person. Period.)

9. A typical abuser would be skilled at convincing people that he’s innocent, while in fact he’s been acting very differently behind closed doors, pushing his target to this point intentionally and feeding on her emotional break. Many abusers LOVE to see evidence that they’ve hurt their target. They LOVE to see their target in pain. For this reason, “breaking” the target is usually the goal from the start. In cases of abuse, it may take an abuser hours, weeks, months, or even years to break the target, but he won’t stop until he gets that reaction, and then he’ll point the finger and say, “See? She’s crazy. I’m just trying to keep her calm.” And then he’ll do it again. And again. And again.

10. As a result, some people will buy into that false narrative. Even the target can be brainwashed to doubt her own truth. Which may be one reason we see Petito making many excuses for Laundrie’s behavior and taking the blame for everything.

11. In contrast, we see Laundrie blaming Petito, insisting he never hit her and saying he was just trying to keep her calm. He’s charming. He comes across as the loving and loyal partner. He’s joking around with the officers and even gives one a fist bump in the end. All the while, his fiancée is at risk of being charged with domestic assault and possibly spending the night in jail.

12. Later, we’ll hear the 911 recording that (it seems) the responding officers were not fully informed of at the time: “I’d like to report a domestic dispute.” The 49 second audio recording continues as the caller says, “The gentleman was slapping the girl.” When the dispatcher asks him to confirm that the man was slapping the girl, the caller responds, “Yes, and then we stopped, they ran up and down the sidewalk, he proceeded to hit her, hopped in the car, and they drove off.”

13. But long before the 911 call was made public, many survivors could already see through the spin playing out on the video footage. They easily recognized the “red flags” because these cycles become the norm for victims of long-standing abuse. Many targets eventually become conditioned to believe everything the abuser does is her fault. Covering for the abuser, accepting all the blame, trying harder to make the abuser happy—this warped reality becomes the only truth a target knows.

14. Also, it seems clear that Petito doesn’t want her fiancé to be in any trouble. She’d rather pay the price and protect the man she loves. And because she probably believes he only acted this way because of her mood/behaviors/anxiety/OCD/job, she doesn’t want him to be blamed. This is also the norm in abusive relationships.

15. Many experienced and well-trained officers see right through this typical pattern. Others buy the cover-up story. And, sadly, because some officers are also abusers, some side with the abuser even when they know exactly what’s going on. Throughout the video, we get the sense that Officer Robbins senses there’s more to the story.

16. I credit the police in Petito’s situation, especially Officer Robbins. The four responding officers (two of whom were park rangers) remained calm, they separated the couple, they interviewed them individually, they split them up for the night, they consulted the domestic violence shelter … many would say they did everything right considering the information they had at the time.

17. I imagine the officers involved may be suffering from tremendous guilt and wondering if they could have prevented Petito’s death, but I want to give credit to the officers in this case. While it’s easy to look back and say maybe they should have handled things differently, knowing what we now know, I was impressed with how well they treated both Laundrie and Petito (and, sadly, I was thinking how rare it is to see that level of respect and professionalism in most cases of domestic violence, particularly in the South where I’ve been most involved with survivors’ stories.)

18. After Petito was reported missing, many people expressed shock in response to the Laundrie family’s refusal to cooperate early in the investigation. Petito reportedly lived with the Laundrie family for more than a year. Anyone can see that this family will do anything to protect their son, even at the cost of an innocent young woman who was a real part of their family and soon to be their daughter-in-law. While most of us can certainly understand parents wanting to protect their son, most would agree they crossed a moral line when his fiancée went missing.

19. But perhaps it goes deeper than that. Perhaps what we’re seeing is a system of enablers who not only allowed their son to abuse Petito (which may have been a factor in her reported anxiety) but also a system of gaslighters who may have always been shifting the truth to keep Petito confused and make her believe she was the problem.

20. It’s not a far stretch to assume Petito was caught in a system of abuse. And once a target is caught in that psychological web, it’s extremely difficult to see a way out. Reality becomes flipped.

21. It’s also worth noting that Petito and Laundrie had been involved in various levels of a relationship since their teens. This is also commonly observed in dysfunctional partnerships.

22. These immature relationships work beautifully when both partners grow together and mature emotionally. But when one wants to keep the other down, naïve, and under his control … and the other is growing, learning, and maturing … it doesn’t work.

23. We hear Petito tell the officer that Laundrie didn’t think she could succeed with her travel blog (3.25). It seems clear that he didn’t believe in her and that he was trying to make her doubt herself.

24. Throughout the conversation, he implies that he locked her out of the van because she wouldn’t calm down. But when we listen to the full video, it seems he was upset because they’d spent too much time at the coffee shop with her working on her website when he wanted to go hiking. This suggests that because she wasn’t in the van when he was ready to leave, he lost his temper.

25. In the moments that followed, the altercation became physical. Reportedly, Laundrie squeezed Petito’s face with his hand, cut her down verbally, and criticized her.

26. Some would argue that this escalating abuse typically persists until the target reacts emotionally and/or physically. If this case follows the norm, Laundrie may have been trying to break her spirit, intentionally.

27. Why? Again, if this case follows the typical situation, it would likely be because Petito’s focus wasn’t 100% on Laundrie. She had found this new job she enjoyed. She was succeeding at it, and it was allowing her to connect with other people. (Remember, she’d already left her job as a nutritionist to travel around the country with Laundrie.)

28. In a healthy relationship, the new job might be considered a positive opportunity for Petito. Especially considering Laundrie admits they have very little money (not even enough to afford a hotel room to prevent his fiancée from going to jail). But in an unhealthy relationship, the abuser wants the target all to himself. And when that doesn’t happen, he can become increasingly violent.

29. Petito now had this one little piece of her life that Laundrie couldn’t control, so if we’re looking at textbook patterns, perhaps her blog angered him. Perhaps he didn’t like all the attention she was getting on social media. Perhaps he punished her for it. And then a cycle developed. Even though she was doing nothing wrong by building a new career.

30. The next thing we know, we have a missing person, a recovered body, a young man on the run, and several families destroyed. Too much grief to measure. And the truth is, it will happen again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, until we learn to recognize and respond to abusive situations in healthier ways.

The overall takeaway?

When we see someone at her emotional end during a domestic dispute, we shouldn’t assume she’s crazy. We shouldn’t buy into the false narrative given by the abuser. We shouldn’t believe the cover-up story by the target who has been conditioned to carry all the blame and shame. And we shouldn’t assume they’re going to be okay.

Instead, we should all learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. We should learn to recognize the warning signs of abuse. We should engage in respectful, fact-based conversations about trauma bonds, abusive cycles, and emotional intelligence. We should be familiar with terms like gaslighting, hovering, love bombing, enabling, triangulating, and projecting. We should stop blaming targets and help them reclaim their truth. And we should stop repeating the age-old myths that keep targets trapped in these dangerous and all-too-often deadly cycles.

Finally, while I’ve used the most common scenario of male-on-female violence in this article, we should recognize that abuse crosses all barriers and can impact anyone regardless of gender, sexuality, ethnicity, nationality, religious affiliation, age, or socio-economic level. And we should stop assuming these situations will get better in time. Personally, I haven’t heard of one abusive relationship that became healthier. Not one. Not with therapy. Not with church. Not with prayer or forgiveness or complete surrender. When an abuser is determined to destroy his target, he will not stop until that target is erased from this world or stripped from her life. And in many cases, he’ll walk away without any consequences, often taking the target’s finances, home, vehicle, reputation, or even her children with him.

Please don’t let the next statistic be you or someone you love. For support, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline. From a safe phone, call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788.

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always5hineee · 3 years

Text

Hell and Back- Chapter 33: A Halfway Leap (Trials 50-60)

Word count: 3839

Chapter warnings: Mild language, strong themes, severe gore

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The Faith Trials would end up being the least favorite of hers in the bunch.

Looking back on her own story, she never would have guessed the shit she was about to be put through. It was unimaginable, and yet, she had nothing better to do than think about it. Rushing past her, thousands of millions of entities, and yet no way to stop, all she could do was think. And what better to think about than them?

She hated the Faith Trials because they drove everyone apart. It was the smallest little things, yes, but they would fester and grow until there was nothing left but sickness and disgustingness between them. She was no exception.

How was one to know when a friendship was over? Is it when you're first forced to Google that fateful question? Is it when you have nothing to talk about, or the you begin actively hating each other?

They only had three trials left incomplete. They chose two truths, and one dare. She didn't care to remember the truths. They made everyone angry. Why else would they be given to them, after all? Of course, in the course of events, someone must know what happened. The boys certainly remember what happened. The narrative does exist. However, this is Y/N's fault, her prize, her story. If she doesn't remember, there is nothing to be done. She scolded herself for forgetting. It was like deleting a few scenes of your favorite movie just because your favorite character died. It was incomplete. There was a significant difference, though. This was most assuredly not her favorite movie.

She was elated when that fateful screen graced her vision.

Congratulations! You have completed the Faith Trials. Welcome to Round 5, the Delegate Trials! Round 5 will consist of 8 trials for any and all players. If a player cannot continue or chooses to drop out, the trial will be null for that player and they will be penalized with the dropout fee. Other players are not affected. Round 5 will end after trial 60.

They all slept alone the night before these trials. The Delegate Trials. Certainly a gruesome experience. It was also the shortest set of trials since the preliminaries. That didn't mean they were any better. Maybe it was the sheer visceral reaction of what was to come that made her memory so flawed regarding the trials beforehand. Their concept was simple. Each trial would select a Player. Sometimes they'd be given the option, other times not. That player could choose to complete one task, (again, obviously, chosen by the game), or force another player to do a different task. She didn't know exactly what these choices were based on, but the task was always revealed before the first player made their choice, so it was complete guilt. What a perfect game to play just after their foundations had been so steadily shaken.

For example, Trial 53. A classic party game. All the trials seemed to start out this way, with a mildly risky, innocent game of fun. By the end of each section, they were lying under trains. In this case, they selected two players. Suho demanded a turn, as well as Kris. Once they'd been put into the app, they were offered a decision. One was to place his hand on a dartboard, (something that, as boys, they actually did own), while the other threw darts. The initial player could position their hand however they liked, but couldn't move it during arcs. They could only rearrange it between throws. No darts would be taken out of the board under any circumstances until five had been thrown, and any that missed didn't count. Their other option was to force Baekhyun and Lay to take up the same offer.

They had argued heavily regarding this trial. Baekhyun had significantly smaller hands than all the other players involved in the challenge, so he was the obvious choice for the dartboard. In fact, he pointed this out himself, more than willing to take it on, and putting no risk on Lay. Suho, as always, had a problem with this, as he wanted to assume the brunt of the danger, even if they were all a bit on edge. In the end, Baekhyun had no ability to dictate his decision, and since Suho had requested to keep the trial, he was the one who got to put his hand on the board.

Kris had admittedly good aim, likely from all the shitty party games he'd played in his years. Suho, inversely, was unwavering in his stance, whether to keep appearances strong for the group or simply because he'd numbed himself. He was only hit once. It was on the third dart, and his blood dripped down the wall in a beautifully tragic red stream. It was between the two tendons of his middle and pointer finger. Kris looked concerned and moved to help, but Suho only reminded him that they weren't to remove the dart. They finished. Lay healed him, with some difficulty- he was growing tired.

Trial 54. The knife game. Again, simple, a common party game. Except people tended to use butter knives, pencils, or other relatively harmless objects. True to form, this little endeavor required a real knife. It was either Kai's challenge, or he could pass it to Y/N. She insisted that she was familiar with the game, begging him to let her do it instead, but he refused. He passed with a little nick to his ring finger, barely even bleeding. Lay had fallen asleep, so they covered it with a Band-Aid and moved on.

Trial 55. This is where things started to get really, really serious. They were told to supply a player once again, and Xiumin volunteered. Once he received his challenge, though, he'd quickly regretted it. He was meant to stick his hand into the garbage disposal of the sink. There were four switched on the back. They would have to flip one. Even if any of them remembered which one turned on the drain, (which, none of them did), whoever was in charge of the trials had proven themselves capable of changing the circumstances. It could have easily been tampered with. If Xiumin didn't want to do it, he could pass it on to Chen.

Chen insisted on letting him complete the trial. Even though Xiumin was older, he scared a little bit more easily, and Chen felt as if he hadn't really done much since the start. Obviously, they had all been through a lot, but he wanted to contribute, especially after Xiumin had been forced to hang from the roof of a building against his will. It took a few minutes of debating, but Xiumin finally conceded. Chen was left to do the challenge.

He shoved his hand in the drain as Kyungsoo explained the mechanics of a sink garbage disposal. Thankfully, there weren't actually any sharp blades, so unless he stuck his hand all the way in the bottom where the bolts held the metal pieces, he shouldn't be cut badly should it turn on. Any trauma to his hand would be blunt force. That didn't do much to make him feel better about it. Out of the four switches, they debated which it could be. They figured the one furthest from the sink was a safe bet, as for wiring purposes it would be impractical to place it there.

They had been wrong. He broke three fingers. Lay was still passed out, so even as the tears of pain rolled down his face, he wrapped his hand up and indicated to continue the trials. He could fix it later. Xiumin felt awful- that should have been him, he let a kid take his place and now Chen was in serious pain. He would have undone it if he could... But they'd lost that ability with Tao. Even then, he may have been limited- they weren't even paying attention to the qualifications at this point. She was zoning out further and further with every challenge.

Trial 56. This was the first trial in which two options for activities were given. Activities was a shitty name for them- she didn't know what else to call them. Events? Outings? It all sounded corny and completely non-representative. Either Lay could lie on the highway for five minutes without moving, or Y/N could let one of the other members carve a '56' into her forearm with a knife. She remembered thinking to herself that this was bordering on abusive- as if it hadn't already crossed, chewed up, and spit out that line.

Suho wanted Lay to do the challenge. He under no circumstances wanted Y/N doing anything to hurt herself, as had been evidenced in the Solo Trials. Y/N, in turn, saw that something was going on with Lay, not to mention that the risk of the highway far outweighed some light bleeding. In truth, the thought of someone slicing up her skin made her sick, but what was she to do? Out of all of them, she had done by far the least to continue the trials, and she was the one getting the reward! But... they didn't know that.

Suho was arguing with her, much louder than she would have expected from him. He was normally so respectful, especially when it came to her, but something in him had snapped since that one round of truth. Maybe he just didn't have as much of a regard for her after she'd chosen him. Nonetheless, he couldn't do anything to stop her as she sprinted over to Lay's sleeping form, shaking him awake. He blinked forcefully, eyes tearing up at the light as he muttered something about not being able to see. She muttered that she needed him to say 'I concede'. That was it, that's all the app needed to hear. The stupid, fucking, nightmare of an app. He did it.

Kris was the one to do it. Kai looked like he was going to throw up, turning away to face the wall. Sehun covered his ears like a baby to try and avoid hearing her hisses of pain. He used her own pocketknife, the one she'd been carrying since the beginning for the trials. It was as small as he could make it without the letters becoming indecipherable. Didn't stop it from hurting like shit. The 6 was the worst, as it was one long, drawn out, agonizingly slow cut into her skin. As soon as it was done, he promptly bandaged it.

Trial 57. This was strangely easy- they had to select a person, for which they put forth Chanyeol on his own volunteering. He had the choice to harm him self with his own powers, or choose someone else in the group to hit him. As someone with fire powers, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to forcefully make his body allow himself to be burnt, but he didn't really care to find out. He let Suho hit him, since Chanyeol had been one of the ones to agree that he was the most obnoxious. It hurt, but not as much as a burn. That was the very abrupt, fairly calm end to trial 57. It was nothing compared to what was coming for them.

The fifty-eighth trial was something that would be ingrained in her mind forever. It was the sickest device pf psychological torture she had seen in her life, and although short, it was still saying something. The plot was elaborate to say the least. It took them to a location outside of the one they had been spending time in. The day was coming to a close once again, and she could barely remember how long ago they'd started this mess. It couldn't have been more than a few days, but it felt like millennia.

The setup was in a field, a baseball field to be precise. It was lit by floodlights, but there was no one in the area, so there were likely no games scheduled. On the side with the canopy, there were four harnesses tied to ropes, all lying in the copper colored dust of the playing field. Those were hooked into the canopy, then lowered back down, with three times as many ropes as had been entered. There were also two more garishly noticeable details- a giant, rusted, yellow device, and an oversized pair of garden trimmers.

The trial was complicated, to say the least. They had been split into two groups, not of their choosing. They would have to decide which group took the harnesses, and which took the clippers. If the group with the extra member chose the harnesses, they would all be strung up, but if the other did, they would simply have one extra harness. Once they had decided, they would be suspended over the functioning woodchipper. The more people strung up, the less ropes would be cut, as there would be less people on the ground team. However, in a worst case scenario, all of the suspended team could end up chuck. If it was any consolation, the game offered them a skipped trial for every person who felt into the chipper.

The teams were, as far as they could observe, randomly selected. The larger team consisted of Sehun, Kai, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Chen, and Lay, with the smaller being made up of Y/N, Suho, Kris, Baekhyun and Xiumin. In this, they were torn. The smaller team, most particularly Suho and Kris both wanted to be the ones up in the ropes. Not because they were particularly brave, no, but more out of a sense of responsibility and pride. However, it conflicted with all of their interests to bring Y/N up there with them. Not only that, but with the larger team cutting, there was more of a chance of someone getting dropped. Kyungsoo tried to explain how this wasn't exactly true, and that the math worked out evenly, but no one really cared.

Y/N insisted that she'd be fine in the harnesses. After all, for every one person, there were three ropes. That was only a 33% chance of getting dropped. Not only that, but altogether, the percentage was actually less, as there would be an extra harness. Sehun asked what would happen if she were to get dropped, but swallowing, she just reminded him of the rule for Player 1. That didn't sit well with anyone.

They decided on the smaller team. It was, simply speaking, the least amount of people at risk. They all stepped into the harnesses, buckling them around their waists and tightening them to a snug fit. The app gave a warning before they started that, should they escape from the harness, and somehow manage to avoid the sharp fall, they would automatically be rewarded with the dropout penalty. She didn't even catch what it was before the screen glinted away. She tried to reach it, but Suho calmly told her not to bother, as none of them were going to drop out anyway.

As soon as she'd selected they were ready, their bodies were flung into the air, and the woodchopper activated. She had no idea how remote these systems were, but looking down into the churning blades of the machine was making her want to scream out for someone to help her. Xiumin didn't seem to be faring much better. Baekhyun had gone into some sort of shutdown, not reacting to anything or anyone, simply staring into he void, as if he wasn't even looking at the machine below them. Kris was acting cool, and Suho seemed to be... at peace.

She'd remember Xiumin's whimpers for the rest of her life. It was like a sick dog cornered by wolves in an alley, just barely audible over the screeching of the appliance beneath them. She heard one line clearer than crystal, though.

"Y/N, I don't wanna die."

"You're not going to, honey."

Kai was the first to cut a rope. He was the boldest out of all of them, but in reality, it was out of cowardice. The more ropes there were, the less of a chance he had of killing someone. He didn't want their blood on his hands. Luckily, he didn't have to worry about it. His cut was a blank.

Lay was still not doing too hot. He was still not doing too well, and his skin was rather hot, although he complained about being cold. Kai had given him a Tylenol, basically figuring out that it was a fever. It had helped slightly, which is how he'd been able to make it to the field to begin with. With the assistance of the other members, he made his cut as well. Blank.

After Chanyeol made his cut is when Baekhyun started to get antsy. Kris was still holding himself strong, but he wasn't saying anything, leading her to be certain that it was all an act. As long as he could keep it up, though, she was willing to let him. They couldn't all be messes by the end of this. Chen was next, glaring up at Kris, and she wondered if he was silently hoping that he would fall in. No one did.

Kyungsoo tried to think about it logically, calculating which ropes had already been cut and the probability of distribution. He was worried his overthinking would be his downfall. Finally, he just shut his eyes and picked at random. He wasn't a fan of chance, but in this case, it seemed to be his best bet. It payed off.

Sehun was the last to cut. Looking at him, one would have thought that he was the one hanging from the ropes. He was trembling, although trying to hide it, as he held the clippers in his hand. Eyes flitting back and forth frantically between ropes, trying to mentally grab the one that wouldn't kill anybody. It was here that Y/N made eye contact with Suho.

It was scary, his expression. His eyes were half-lidded, and he had a small smile floating across his face. His hands, which had been previously clutching onto his belt, were limp at his side, his body seemingly completely relaxed. He noticed her gaze, and looked over to her lazily. It was scaring her, especially after how angry he'd been all day. No matter how old she'd grow in the future, no matter how many times she thought about his next words to her, she had no idea how he'd known.

"You know, Y/N, I was always scared of getting old." Her brows had furrowed when he said this. Then, everything went silent as his body dropped from her vision. She knew she screamed, she felt it scratch her throat and rip her lungs into shreds, but she didn't hear it. It was probably for the best. Have you ever heard someone fall into a woodchipper? She was glad she didn't. If someone had asked her before this, she would have made a joke out of it, probably say "crunchy". Not now.

The blood splattered up past her knees, leaving the four of them basically soaked. It wasn't just the liquid, either. Xiumin was crying and screaming, torn between covering his eyes and staring into the abysmal, silver and red void of the machine. Kris, for the first time threw up, coating himself and the ground below him in nastiness. She had completely zoned out, unable to scream again through the pain, vision swimming as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. Baekhyun was clutching himself and rocking back and forth from the rope as the machine turned off, the harnesses lowering to the ground, all four of them curled up in the dirt, not knowing what to do.

The other group would have come to help them, but they weren't faring much better. Sehun had fallen to the ground almost immediately, screaming out in a mix of terror and guilt, covering the back of his head with his hands as he shook. As woodchoppers traditionally worked, one end was for wood, and the other for wood...chips. This one functioned no differently. Before anyone had even gotten the chance to realize Suho's fate, he was already spewed all over them in small, wood chip-like chunks. It was disgusting.

There was nothing any of them could say. At least they got to skip a trial? At least Suho didn't have to face his worst fear? At least it was only one? None of it added up. That was their leader, one of the cornerstones of their friendship. He cared for all of them, no matter how harsh he could be. He would have gladly died for any one of them, but he shouldn't have had to. And now he was gone. Not only gone, but there wasn't even anything for them to bury.

They went home in silence. They could have reported it to the police. Something gave them the sense that the evidence would be gone when they returned. Everyone needed to shower. It almost felt disrespectful, but no one wanted to go to sleep with Suho's blood on their hands, literally, or figuratively. Sehun was in a state of shock, but he was only minority ahead of Xiumin and Baekhyun. As she showered, she saw the water beneath her turn red, causing her to throw up again. She heard one of the boys knock on the door to check on her, but she didn't answer. They probably understood.

When she made it back to the room to figure out the sleeping situation, she saw that one of the only other people done showering was Kai. They hadn't been on the best terms as of late, but she was scared, devastated, and so, so tired. Saying nothing, she sat down next to him, leaning into his chest. He didn't ask any questions, wrapping his arms around her. A few minuets later, she felt another body against her. One eye opening a sliver, she saw that it was Xiumin. As each boy returned, they joined the pile, not one saying anything. She didn't remember when, but at some point, they all fell asleep.

They didn't want to keep going. They convinced themselves that it's what he would have wanted, but that was a cruel joke. None of them had expected this to be fatal. They needed Tao. No one knew where he was, and his name had been removed from the game. There were some injuries that Lay just couldn't fix, not to mention his sick state.

They were able to skip trial 59, thankfully. The last one, 60, quite classically, was a game of Russian Roulette. It didn't have nearly the effect it was supposed to. They were all numb to it. She thought that everyone, silently, probably wanted to be the one to lose. No one did.

And yet... they all did.

Go to Chapter 34

#exo #exo x reader #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #kai #kyungsoo #baekhyun #lay #xiumin #sehun #suho #chen #chanyeol #kris #luhan #tao #kpop #Kpop x reader #Kpop fanfiction #Kpop fanfic #x reader #trials

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jmeelee · 5 years

Text

Sterek Bingo 2019 • Theme: Wild Card

Cora’s twenty-first birthday party is in full swing when the vibration of an incoming text jiggles Derek’s right ass cheek. He pulls his phone from the pocket of his too-tight jeans to find a befuddling text: There myst be sumething wrong w my eyes.

Derek’s future does not include being an Alpha, and that’s fine; he’ll happily leave the politics, management, and difficult decision-making to his older sister, Laura. Instead, he’s been training the last few years—learning languages and studying cultures and meeting werewolves all over the world—to become his pack’s liaison. He’s young, but his good name and reputation are already circulating, so he automatically thinks, this must be a young werewolf in need of help. Plus, it’s no secret to the supernatural community that his beta-shifted eyes are blue, instead of gold.

His thumb’s hovering over the touchscreen when a drunk girl bumps into him, her red solo cup full of cheap beer exploding like a water balloon all over the front of his olive-green henley. “Oops,” she slurs, lids drooping over bloodshot blue eyes. She gropes his soaked pectorals with her bare hands.

Derek’s eyebrows berate her before he heads for the staircase. He’s tired of pseudo-babysitting intoxicated college kids anyway.

By the time he’s showered off the stale booze and changed into pajamas, almost an hour has passed. He grabs his phone off the nightstand to finally reply to his cryptic messenger, and finds a new text: i can’t take them off of u.

What the hell? It wasn’t a cry for help at all; it was a lame pick up line. Derek’s mood sours as he imagines Cora egging one of her immature girlfriends into sending him the terrible come-on. The culprit is probably downstairs right now. He swipes over the message, deleting it, and powers off his cell before climbing into bed, pulling a pillow over his head to drown out the noise.

He’s so done with this day.

A week and a half later Derek’s pushing a cart up and down the aisles at the grocery store when his phone chirps. He stares at the flashing number of the unknown contact, wondering why it looks vaguely familiar before he opens the text. Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.

At least there are no typos this time.

He almost deletes the message right away, but the split second he hesitates gives him an excuse to type back. This is clearly Gustave Whitehead erasure and I won’t stand for it.

The return response comes before he can black out his screen. Dude. Are we having our first fight?

Derek doesn’t hesitate this time. Find someone else to annoy.

Rude.

He puts his phone away and staunchly ignores the smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

He’s already in bed, and would never have heard the vibration except for his supernatural hearing. My name’s Microsoft. How about I crash at your place.

Derek blinks the sleep from his eyes enough to type back, I own a Mac.

In the morning, he sees the response. Harsh dude.

You must be a trumpet because you’re making me horny.

Wow. This is your worst one yet.

Is that a challenge, Derek?

NO!

Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you a snack!

Please stop.

“Derek, answer that or I’m going to punch you in the face,” Laura threatens between spoonfuls of cookie-dough ice cream. The harsh buzzing of his phone sounds like a jackhammer to their sensitive werewolf ears, and it’s disrupting their movie marathon.

If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine. Oh lord.

“What’s with the sappy smile, big brother?” Cora coos.

Derek schools his face into a scowl. “Nothing.”

She throws the blanket off her lap and lunges for the phone in his hand. A tussle ensues. Derek is older and stronger, but she’s fast, sneaky and not above fighting dirty, and she grips the phone before he knows what happened. “What the hell is this?” She’s screeching with laughter, holding his cell out so Laura can look. “Who’s sending you lame pick-up lines?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” he gripes. “You put her up to this.”

Cora furrows her brow. “Uh, what?”

“The night of your birthday party, the first pick-up line came through. It was someone at your party. I figured you put her up to it as a joke.”

She checks the number again. “The only person I ever gave your number to was Erica, for official pack business. This isn’t Erica’s number.” She grabs her cell off the coffee table and punches in the digits. “Well, I’ll be damned.” Cora laughs so hard her eyes water.

“Who is she?” Laura asks.

“Not a she.” Cora holds out her phone with a shit-eating grin so Derek and Laura can read her contacts. “It’s Stiles Stilinski.”

Terse silence follows her declaration. Then Derek asks, “Who the fuck is Stiles?”

6 & 7

“Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one…” Derek counts out his squats in a whisper, monitoring his form in the full-length mirror. He feels his phone vibrate, and the grin reflecting back at him is disgusting. He should be ashamed.

He gently places the weight back on the rack when he completes the set and digs the phone from his mesh shorts.

Is your phone in your back pocket? Because that ass is calling me!

Derek honestly can’t say what possesses him to turn around, open his camera app, and hold the phone over his left shoulder. Perfect timing ur not following me r u? he writes back, attaching a photo of his butt. A dude doing kettlebell lunges across the gym gives him the stink eye.

Stiles answers with a string of peach emojis, which Derek understands, and a single unicorn emoji, which he doesn’t.

I know who you are, btw. Stiles Stilinski, the sheriff's kid? Cora figured it out

Usually, the response comes immediately, but Derek’s walking out to his car before he receives two simultaneous replies.

Well since the cat (be gr8ful i didn’t say pussy) is out of the bag

my mother used to tell me to follow my dreams so… where will you be tonight?

Derek sits behind the wheel, staring at his phone, weighing the pros and cons. He’s never gone on a blind date before, and he’s been burned, badly, in the past. Being single is sometimes lonely, but at least it’s safe. He doesn’t want to put a defenseless, unwitting human in harm’s way. His brain keeps supplying him with a list of perfectly rational reasons why he should leave their playful correspondence in the sandbox of cyberspace, but his heart furtively whispers what if.

8 & 9

There’s a live band at the bar, guitar player crooning a popular rock ballad while Derek nurses a beer for show. He checks his smartwatch for the seventh time in a span of three minutes and happens to catch the message notification as it pops up.

Do you know CPR? You better learn because ur taking my breath away

He spins around, searching for guys on their phones, frustrated to find almost every man in the bar staring at their screen. A baby-faced guy plops down on the open stool next to him as Derek’s eyes scan the crowd.

“Scott bet me I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person in the room.” Derek glances back, startled, to find a generous mouth smiling at him. “What should we do with his money?”

His first thought: HOT. His second thought: young. “Tell me you’re twenty-one,” Derek greets him. “Actually, please tell me you’re legal.”

Stiles dramatically crosses his heart, eyes wide. “I only look seventeen, I promise. It’s a blessing and a curse.” He holds out a sturdy but slender, long-fingered hand. “I’m Stiles. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

Derek takes his outstretched hand in a firm grip and swears he feels a zing when their skin makes contact. It’s official; he’s been single too long. “Derek. Let me buy you a drink, and you can tell me how you got my number in the first place.”

Stiles winks as Derek flags the bartender. “A gentleman never reveals his secrets.”

“Gentleman?” Derek, cold, fresh beer in hand, arches a brow. “Based on some of the texts I’ve received, I’m not sure gentleman is the correct term.”

Stiles clinks his drink against Derek’s. “Touché.” He eyes Derek over the lip of his brown bottle. “So, did you lace your pilsner with wolfsbane, or do you enjoy the taste?”

Derek, mid-sip, spits his beer onto the bartop. “What the hell?” he sputters, mopping at the mess with the world’s least absorbent cocktail napkin.

Stiles calmly takes a sip. “Come on, dude. My father’s the sheriff, and this town is literally a supernatural shit-show. If that wasn’t enough, my best friend is Scott McCall.”

“McCall?” Derek leans closer, soggy napkins forgotten, to whisper, “The True Alpha?” Derek’s met Scott at a few local pack gatherings.

“Yup,” Stiles replies. “He was bitten by a rogue werewolf when we were sixteen. So you could say I’ve been a little-” He makes exaggerated air quotes- “involved in the supernatural scene the past few years.”

Derek leans back, accessing Stiles in a new light: deceptively lean physique, handsome, impish face, the ability to make Derek laugh, and take him by surprise. The laundry list of reasons not to do this quickly goes up in smoke in the face of being able to show his true nature to a partner. Stiles smiles like he knows exactly what Derek is thinking.

“So, what do you say? Do I pass the test? Should we give going on an official first date a shot?”

“One condition,” Derek demands, holding up his index finger. “You’re not allowed to use a single pick up line all night.”

Stiles squawks, tossing long arms into the air. “You might as well ask me not to breathe! Or the Mets not to lose!”

“Chicken?” he asks, leaning into Stiles’ space. Derek quirks a brow and lifts his chin, eyes drawn like a magnet to Stiles’ tongue when it sneaks out to wet his lips.

“Hell no. Challenge accepted. Eight pm Saturday night.” An impish grin. “I’m gonna date you so hard, Hale.”

As far as (official) first dates go, it’s pretty damn amazing. The conversation flows as easily as the wine at dinner, and Stiles’ running jokes and commentary during the shitty movie doesn’t bother Derek at all. He’s thrilled to find their easy banter translates to real life, after weeks of electronic flirtation.

“Hey,” Derek whispers as they say good-night at Stiles’ apartment door. He wraps his arms around Stiles’ waist, pulling him close. He brushes a kiss, feather-light, across Stiles’ mouth and smirks. “Are you a magician? Because when I’m with you, everyone else disappears.”

Stiles leans back, arms still locked around Derek’s shoulders. “What the hell, man! You said no pick-up lines!”

Derek tuts. “I said you couldn’t use any. I never made the same promise.”

Stiles’ eyes narrow. “Serious question?”

“Shoot.”

“Will there be a second date?”

A second, a third, and more, if Derek has any say in the matter. “Absolutely.”

Stiles’ grin is slightly manic as he untangles slim fingers from Derek’s hair. “Well then, there’s probably something I should show you.” He holds up a hand in front of Derek’s face and snaps his fingers. A spark of light fizzles to life before his eyes, emanating from Stiles’ palm, and burning ozone singes the fine hairs inside his nose.

“Huh,” Derek replies, dumbly. “I did not see that coming.”

Stiles’ coy smile ignites something hot inside him. “I have some other party tricks I could show you if you want to come in?”

Derek leans forward again, chasing the bright glimmer of magic between them, the one that’s been there the whole time. “Oh, absolutely.”

——

For @evanesdust and based on THIS PROMPT by @faladrast

#eternalsterek #haleinski #sterekbingo2019 #sterek #sbwildcard3 #sterekbingo

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onceuponadetectivedemigod · 5 years

Text

House Of The Rising Sun

Part One

Pairing: Female Reader x Ben Hardy

Warnings: language, references to sex but no actual smut, alcohol, guns

Summary: New Orleans, 1923. There is a House, who covers as a Mythology Museum however it’s is actually housing the most dangerous mob around. Ben, an English businessman, comes seeking a new life in The United States. Gwylim, sneaks in alcohol into the states, specifically to The House’s Speakeasy, during prohibition. While Roger, Brian, and Lucy, from a sister mob in the UK come to help out Rami, Joe, and The House. Meanwhile Y/N runs away from home to become a flapper and when all their paths cross Ben, and Y/N get mixed up in the wrongs stuff at the wrong time.

Chapter Summary: Ben gets to New Orleans and meets a beautiful young flapper.

Word Count: 2,812

AN: So I was listening to House of The Rising Sun by The Animals AND I HAD A VISION SO HERE YOU GO! Lmk if you like it, if you hate it, ect. Also I HAVE A WHOLE DAMN PLAYLIST FOR BEN HARDY to which you can find here: Ben’s Playlist New songs are added regularly! Also I am not trying to “cross-tag” in this. I am typically guilty of it, but with this particular story, I would like people other than ben stans to read it because I quite proud of it and it will have more of everyone in it later.

Today I woke up to the soft playing of jazz from across the street. I was living with with these two boys I met when I got here. Joe and Rami. They told me I could stay as long as I wished. They won’t tell me what their job is but I know they work together. They constantly invite me to parties and cool speakeasies, maybe they smuggle alcohol. I’m not sure, but they always avoid talking about it. I got out of bed and looked out the window, towards the beautiful music. I opened the window and let in the perfectly cool breeze. I let the music fill the house as I walked downstairs. “Hey boys!” “Morning, Y/N/N! You doing good today?” Joe asked. “Well I woke up to a nice breeze and some smooth, seductive jazz.” “Seductive?” Rami asked, as he walked in. “Joe is not seductive.” His response made me giggle. “Not Joe, THE JAZZ!” I laughed. Joe was born and raised in California and moved down here a few years ago. Rami’s parents were Egyptian and he was a first generation American. His parents moved down here seeking a new life. “Makes sense. What you up to today?” Rami said. “Oh I don’t know.” I responded. “Maybe catch a parade. I love that I came just in time for Mardi Gras!” ��Well if you want, the speakeasy is open tonight. The code is ‘God save the Queen.’” Joe told me. “I will probably make an appearance. How do you get all the codes?” I asked him. “You gotta know the right people, which I do, and you do. So don’t worry about it. See you there tonight.” He responded. “See you boys tonight!” I giggled as you kissed them both on the cheek and ran back upstairs to my room. I am thankful you found these two. I met them on the trolley. They saw my small suitcase and asked if I needed a place to stay. They had an extra room available and were willing to let me stay. We have grown quite close since I moved here a month ago. I walked towards the closet and put on my favorite dress! It was black with gold beading, and it came up above my ankles. I love wearing short dresses; all the old rich men look at me funny. It makes me feel happy when I throw everyone’s sense of order right into hell. Once I was done I grabbed my purse and hat and marched down the stairs. “Bye boys!” I shouted as I started out the door. I heard them both say bye back and made my way down to Café Du Monde, for the best beignets in town. I was almost there and the line was fairly short. I took another few steps, closed my eyes, and breathed in that soft smell of powdered sugar and the misty water. Suddenly a man with a brief case ran into me. “Oh! Miss, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you!” He spoke with an unfamiliar accent. We both scrambled to the ground to pick up his stuff. He smelled like cigars and cinnamon. He had short blonde hair and his eyes were greener than an evergreen. “Hey, it’s all right! I’m Y/N. If you don’t mind me askin’ where are you from? I haven’t heard nobody with an accent like that.” I asked him, as I handed him the spilled contents. “Ben. I uh, am from England. I just moved to the U.S. a few weeks ago. Been trying to make my way down here from New York. Trying to start a new life.” He said, putting everything back in the brief case. “Well, Ben, You came awfully long way. But you definitely came to the right place! This town right here is perfect for running away to a new life.” I told him. “That’s what I like to hear. I guess, I will maybe see you around, Miss Y/N.” He told me. “Yeah, Maybe See you around Mister, Ben.” I said back. We both walked our separate ways as I went and got in line. After I ate, I just went on my daily walk through the city. Everything seemed just as usual. Then I saw that Ben boy getting thrown out of a building by two larger gentleman. I ran over to him. “Hey, you okay?” I asked helping him, once again collect his things. “Yeah. Fine. We can’t keep doing this. You always helping me pick up my things.” He smiled at me. “It really is no problem. What happened in there?” I asked him. “I guess I’m to progressive for that lot. I was interviewing for a jo-“ He looked up, and stopped, and pulled me into the alley beside the building. He put his hand over my mouth as he noticed I was about to scream. I was trying to get him off of me when he whispered “Please don’t scream! I swear I’m not gonna hurt you! Please, I can explain if you are quiet!” I stopped fighting against him, but kept my guard up. He moved his hand off my mouth. “Those are three around the corner are apart of the most dangerous mob in London. If you even look at them funny they will shoot you! So please just be careful. I don’t know you all that well but I don’t want anything to happen to you either.” He spoke. I nodded and looked around the corner, extremely carefully. I noticed two older gentleman and a very pretty, younger, blonde woman. All three were dressed nicely and the woman looked as if she would only wear the fanciest of perfumes. I turned back and looked at him. “Them? They look like they wouldn’t even harm a fly. She looks way too nice and way too high class to be in a mob.” I told him. “They steal all of their money. They kill while doing it. Please just believe me, Y/N.” He looked at me. His face has pure fear written all over it. “Why are you so afraid of them? If you leave them alone, you won’t have a problem.” I told him. He looked down and blushed. “Were you involved with them? Oh MY GOD YOU WERE!” “SH! Keep your voice down! They can’t know I’m here. It’s not that I was apart of the mob, I wasn’t. But I know one of the older men, Roger. I didn’t know he was in the mob. I was just trying to get a job and he told me, he would pay me to drive him around. So I got a job as his driver. Eventually I found out too much, I found out that he not only was in, but was in charge of the mob. When he asked if it was a problem, I told him yes and quit. I heard he had been looking for me but I never knew he would go to this length to try and find me.” As he explained, my sympathy for him grew. These three were coming to make sure he didn’t tell anyone of their shenanigans. “Okay... so are we just supposed to hide in this alleyway?” I asked. I was too late. The three of them rounded the corner. “Well. Well. Well. There is my boy, Ben! Who do we have here? A new girlfriend, Benny? You know I didn’t know you’d be in town. Quite surprised, actually. But while we are in town, maybe we can kill to birds with one stone eh?” The one I presumed was Roger spoke. He wore a red velvet suit. He also smelled like cigars but also like pine and lilac. He had gorgeous blue eyes. Dangerous blue eyes. His hair was gray and he had a very high but raspy voice. The other man had thick, curly, silver hair. He was a bit taller. He was in a Purple velvet suit. He seemed a lot softer. He looked almost concerned at your fear. And the woman, she had short blonde hair, but she was stunning. She was dressed in a nice long black dress with spaghetti straps. A little showy for most of the country’s taste, but I thought it was beautiful. “I asked your name sweetheart!” Roger shouted at me, pulling me from my trans-like state. “Y/N.” “No last name?” The girl spoke. Her actual voice was very soft but her tone was so harsh that it was scarier than Roger’s. “I don’t like it much. Too many family ties.” I said without going into detail. “Look Roger. She has nothing to do with any of this. You want me.” Ben spoke. “You think I honestly care what happens to her? I don’t. But since you nobly step forward it means you must care.” He looked at Ben then focused his attention on the girl. “Lucy make sure she comes with us.” “Yes, sir.” “Roger! I swear to God that I won’t tell anyone, please! Don’t do this!” Ben pleaded. My heart started beating faster and faster. Was I about to die? What was going to happen next? “That’s enough! We are taking both of you. We will decide what to do with you after that.” Roger shouted. “Roger, while I do think we need to take care of him, he said he wouldn’t tell. She has nothing to do with th-“ the taller one spoke. “Brian! We can’t talk big and not be able to follow through with action! We will discuss it after the meeting. Get the car.” Roger looked at him. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some servant! I am your equal Rog! We run this together.” Brian whispered harshly. “But I will get the car, only because you lost THE FUCKING DRIVER!” He turned around and in 45 seconds drove a nice black car towards the alley way. Roger walked around to the passenger side and got in. “Get In or I will shoot you.” Lucy said very plainly. I did as she said and Ben followed. What kind of shit did this kid get himself into? We pulled into an empty lot somewhere I wasn’t familiar with. We sat there for hours. Roger, Lucy, and Brian stepped out of the car. At this point it was dark outside. No one had really said much, surely not me and Ben. But once they stepped outside of the car, I had my with him. “WHAT KIND OF SHIT HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INTO?! WE ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE! I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO DIE! I LITERALLY JUST MET YOU TODAY!" I whisper-shouted at him. "THIS WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! THEY WEREN'T SUPPOS-" he started but was cut off when everyone got back into the car. Roger hopped into the driver side this time. Our next stop was a random boat launch. It looked abandoned but, it was night time so it was not going to be busy. I looked around out the window. All three of the monsters stepped outside again. It was quiet for a minute then I heard a muffled voice that I didn’t quite recognize. It felt as if they were putting something in the trunk of the car. Suddenly the door opened. “If you want to live, sit in his lap.” Roger spoke to me as he pointed a gun at my face. I did as he told and sat in Ben’s lap. Then a new man got into the car and Lucy followed. Roger got back in the drivers seat and Brian back in the passenger. The ride was a bit bumpy sitting on Ben’s lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist to steady me. The ride was short and we pulled up to the club that I frequent. This was the speakeasy that Rami and Joe got me into. The music was blaring so loud it was hard to understand why the cops haven’t busted the place. Roger opened our door, pointing the gun back at us. He motioned for us to hop out. We did as told in fear of what would happen if we didn’t obey. They walked up to the door and knocked the secret knock. A slit in the middle of the door opened up and I saw Allen. Allen was an Irishman who came here. He worked as the doorman for the club. Allen cleared his throat. “Who is it?” Allen asked. “Allen, open the goddamn door.” Roger whisper yelled at him. “No can do sir. You know the rules. Give me the code and you enter.” Allen was always a good doorman for the club. “He didn’t give me the fucking code. You know us!” Brian said. “GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!” I shouted in fear of my life. I just wanted to be somewhere I was familiar with. “Y/N! Is that you?” Allen asked opening the door. “Look Allen, let us in please! I really don’t want to die tonight.” He opened the door all the way, ushering us all in. “He is upstairs waiting for you all.” Allen said to Roger and Brian. Roger pointed his gun at us and then at the stairs directly in front of us. “Go!” He said. We started up the stairs. It was much quieter up here. You could definitely still hear the music but not as loudly as before. Lucy grabbed some rope that was hidden in her garter under her dress and tied our hands to the door handles across from the room they were about to enter. “Stay put, or I kill you both.” She smiled following the other three men as the entered the room and locked the door behind them. “How did you know the code?” Ben looked at me. “I frequent. I have friends who I think work here or something. I’m not entirely sure what they do, but they always give me the right code. Who was the other man?” “He smuggles alcohol into the states. Specifically for this club. It’s run by a sister gang of Roger’s. They call themselves The House. The leader is an old friend of Roger’s and Brian’s. It’s funny that you know the code and don’t even know the background of it.” He laughed. “What do you mean?” I inquired. “Queen. That’s the name of their gang. God save the Queen. This meeting has been planned. They probably didn’t tell them what the code would be because they thought they would guess it.” Ben laughed. “I don’t understand what’s funny.” “Oh. Just that I’ve run this far and now I’m gonna die here tonight.” He laughed more. “To think I could actually be safe.” “Ben, if you knew the sister gang was here in New Orleans, WHY WOULD YOU COME HERE?!” I whisper yelled at him. “I was mislead. I thought they were in New York. I can see now I was gravely mistaken.” “Y/N?” I snapped my head towards the stairs. “RAMI? JOE? MY GOD ARE YOU GUYS IN TROUBLE TOO?” “Y/N who did you get in trouble with?” Rami asked me, looking fearful. The door to the meeting room opened. This other man walked out. My guess is the other mob boss. He was holding a gun and he pointed it at me. “WAIT! Sir! We know her! She is not going to tell anyone!” Joe spoke up. “If anything sir, she needs a job! We can recruit her! Please don’t kill her.” Rami spoke up. “RECRUIT ME?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” I looked at them and back at the gun pointed at my face. Ben bursted into a laughing fit. “WHAT?!” I snapped my head towards him. “Y/N, your friends here are involved with the house.” He laughed shaking his head. “She needs a job? Alright. Untie them. Bring them in.” The other older man spoke. He had a unique British accent. He motioned for us to enter the room. We were standing in a dark lit room with the other man sitting in front of us behind a desk, with Brian and Roger on either side of him. Lucy guarded the door. The Alcohol Smuggler stood by the window, minding his own business. Rami and Joe stood behind Ben and I, who were seated. “Benjamin right?” The mob boss asked. “Just Ben.” He answered simply, looking completely unafraid. “Your name, sweetheart?” “Y/N.” I answered, fear making my voice shake. “Okay. Ben. Y/N. I willing to spare your lives, if you join us. We have a war coming. I need all the soldiers I can get. You either say you are in or you die. By the way my name is John. You’ve met the others. So what do you say?”

Taglist: @bitemerog @sevenseasofrog

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blues-sevenfold · 5 years

Text

World Building: Cult Or Commune

As of recently, I’ve read quite a few horror stories of “communes” that seem lovely on the surface - but then, once you start to dig underneath, you begin to see the much darker aspects of it... and, after further examination, you learn that said “commune” is really a cult.

Many of my universes are solarpunk societies where commune are the norm, and precautions are taken to ensure that these communes do not turn into cults. So here’s a handy checklist to ensure that a commune does not become a cult.

1. Xenophobia/Ethnocentrism: An immediate telltale sign of a cult is its strong distrust for “outsiders”. Its members are heavily discouraged from communicating with anyone not part of the group. Its members are also taught that they themselves are superior to non-members. More often than not, new members are even heavily persuaded to cut off all ties with the past. By contrast, a peaceful commune fosters society harmony with everyone - including “outsiders”! There is no “us against them” mentality. People are free to come and leave at will, and visitors are always welcomed. Nobody ever gets branded a “traitor” for defection from the group, and children are not brought up with an understanding that the outside world is “dangerous”. In fact, “commune exchange” may even be encouraged - so that the younger members can learn about different cultures.

2. Authoritarianism: Another immediate telltale sign of a cult is its strong focus on rules and restrictions. It’s also incredibly rare for a cult to not partake in corporal punishment, particularly if the cult includes children. Discouraging question asking also frequently comes into play. The underlings are expected to obey without question, and to do so cheerfully. Those who obey but do so reluctantly might still be punished for “bad attitude”. By contrast, a peaceful commune has very few rules - and any rules are designed strictly to avoid harm towards others. Even commune rituals are never mandatory. Newcomers to the group are even permitted to partake in rituals of their former commune. Even children have ample freedom to do whatever they enjoy, as long as it doesn’t involve hurting other people.

3. Hierarchy/Collectivism/Scapegoating: This is yet another telltale sign of a cult. Its members are discouraged from viewing themselves as individuals, which extends as far as denouncing most (if not all) of their personal interests and hobbies. There is also a clear hierarchy of those in charge who give orders and the underlings whose primary duty is to obey rules. Usually, any outsiders get scapegoated - but there might also be a group of people who are particularly scapegoated. Almost always without fail, defectors from the group are scapegoated the most. Shunning is also common practice, with the final result being excommunication - providing, of course, that they don’t outrightly cross the line and murder said dissident. By contrast, a peaceful commune encourages its members to retain their sense of individuality - as they recognize that it’s not contradictory for a group of people to work together and still retain their individuality. While there might be a group founder or several, they do not see themselves as being superior to the group. Instead, a system of checks and balances is enabled to prevent potential abuses of power. The only people who might be “scapegoated” are those who partake in crimes against humanity, with citation of evidence from a neutral third party. Shunning is unthinkable, and excommunication is employed only in extreme measures - which generally includes people who are willfully disruptive or harmful to the group in some way. Sort of like in the same way that even the most tolerant internet forums will often ban trolls and bullies, and a simple disagreement of opinion is never viewed as trolling or bullying behaviour.

4. Appeal to the Marginalized: Indeed, in societies where institutionalized prejudice and marginalization is in play, it is easy for cult leaders to take advantage of the very people who are marginalized by the general public - and it’s particularly easy to convinced said members that the outside world is “evil”, since their marginalized status in the outside world cannot exactly be denied. While peaceful communes may also heavily encourage attendance from marginalized groups, the difference hinges on how the members are treated upon joining the group. A cult may still have a hierarchy that largely mimics that of the outside world, where members the lowest castes are constantly reminded that the outside world would treat them even worse - and, as such, they should be “grateful” that the cult affords them better treatment, however marginally so. By contrast, an integrated commune treats all its members like equals - without regard for how the “outside world” might treat them. They are, however, likely to be very protective of the marginalized members of their community from attacks from either inside or outside the group - and there is no suggestion that the marginalized folks owe members of the commune any sort of gratitude.

NOTE: I understand that item #4 is a very thorny subject, and it needs to be addressed with delicacy. Nonetheless, it’s still a very important thing to address. Quite naturally, in a society where egalitarianism is the standard - which a solarpunk society would be - item #4 largely becomes a non-issue. However, even in those cases, it is vital to make certain that those who are naturally disadvantaged (the youth, the elderly, and the disabled) are not being taken advantage of.

#solarpunk #anarcho communism #anarchism #The Discourse #world building #multiverse #text post #xg

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benedictshurley · 5 years

Text

Positive : Part 12

Wow it’s been a hot minute. I think the writer’s block is finally gone but don’t quote me on it! It’s shorter but I think you’ll enjoy it all the same! Enjoy! P.S don’t hate me for the ending thank you!

Summary: It’s Minncon and everybody is still abuzz about the album party

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Word Count: 1,940

Warnings: angst, fighting, matt benedict is a sweetheart, privacy invasion, ultimatums, stephen’s no longer a teddy bear

Disclaimer: this is pure FICTION. I mean no harm or hurt to the Benedict family, or others involved. Marnie is Rob’s fictional wife from Kings of Con. I originally used Mollie (his real wife) but ultimately decided to change it as it made me uncomfortable writing about her and his kids.

If you knew this is where you’d be after finding out you were pregnant, you would’ve hidden in a cave until you gave birth. Fans sending hate after hate. For breaking up Rob’s marriage, for lying, people thinking you cheated on Stephen. The album party video went viral throughout the fandom. Yet here you were, at the convention in Minneapolis, ready to be bombarded with rude questions. Even though for the first time in your convention life, you decided to field your questions, making sure they were appropriate and semi-respectful, but you knew deep down there’d be a few who slipped through the cracks.

Ever since that night, you haven’t seen or talked to Rob. You only texted him back once. To tell him you didn’t love him back. Which deep down, you knew was the biggest lie you’ve ever told. You did love him, but you didn’t want to break Stephen’s heart. Yet, any feelings for Stephen were beginning to diminish. Ever since he found out about Rob being the father, he’s been controlling, if Rob even looked at you wrong this weekend, you were sure he would beat him up on the spot. Plus, knowing that Rob had feelings for you too, made being with someone else extremely difficult.

Entering the hotel, you checked in and got in the elevator. So far, so good, all you needed to do was make it to your room and- you rammed face first into someone’s chest.

“Oh god i’m so sorry, I was lost in my own thoughts and-” Once you looked up at who it was, your mouth went dry. “Rob.”

“Y/N” He breathed out, almost relieved to see you. “We really need to talk. About everything.”

You wanted to, god did you want to, but your brain was giving you flashing red signs. “Rob I don’t-”

You were cut off by Stephen exiting the other elevator. Right, you had texted him that you were here. Wrapping his arm around your torso, Stephen presses a kiss to your temple. “Hey babe. Missed you.”

Rob let out a heavy sigh. “Steve, Y/N and I need to talk. Considering a majority of it involves our child.” He made sure to enunciate the “our”, making it clear to Stephen that he wasn’t the father, and he never would be.

“Well, Y/N hasn’t expressed any interest in seeing you, and I don’t believe that changed. So we will be going to our room.” Stephen smirked triumphantly, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards your room.

Rob scoffed, but got in the elevator anyway, instead of going after you, like an idiot.

“Stephen, slow down!” You whispered, not to disturb the other hotel guests, as you always flew in late friday. “Stephen! You’re hurting my arm!” You shoved him off of you.

Stephen turned to look at you. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to get you out of there. I didn’t think you’d wanna talk to him.”

Opening your hotel room door, you groaned out in frustration. “Maybe if you let me get a word in, instead of making my decisions for me, you would know I could’ve handled it myself!”

Stephen stood speechless, you’d never yelled at him like that.

“I’ll be sleeping alone tonight. Goodnight Stephen.” You spat, slamming the door in his face, not waiting for a reply.

Saturday

As expected, all anyone wanted to talk about with you was the party and the fact that you and Rob had sex. Instead of being offended during your ops and autos, you plastered on a smile and said with enthusiasm “That’s why you use protection every single time!”.

Each one of them left with a little bit of a scowl on their face, but that’s what they get for being assholes. You were nearly 23 weeks pregnant, and extremely hormonal. Don’t mess with the mama bear.

SNS came quicker than expected because before you knew it, you were backstage while the band performed on stage. There was awkward tension though, because Rob’s brother, Matt was sitting right next to you. You had no idea what even to say. “Hey sorry I ruined your brother’s marriage?” You didn’t have much time to think it over before he tapped your shoulder.

“Hey. I’m Matt, but i’m sure you knew that already.” He gave you a grin, eerily similar to his brothers.

“Y/N, but i’m sure you’ve heard all about me. Homewrecker.” You sarcastically threw up jazz hands. “Listen, I just want to apologize to you and your family for ruining rob’s marriage-”

“I’m going to stop you right there. You did us all a favor. Marnie was always sweet to Rob, but she never liked sharing his attention. Even when they had Tyler, it was all about her. We all knew it was going to crack, we just didn’t know when. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did to be completely honest.”

You were shocked. So she was always a bitch, Rob just never saw it. “Well, then I guess you’re welcome? I’m glad I could be of assistance.”

Matt chuckled, and eyed your stomach. “You know he’s excited right? He can’t wait for her. He sends our whole family ultrasounds now that it's out in the open. Couldn’t be happier honestly. The smile that he gets while talking about your daughter is the biggest one I've seen. Almost as big as the one he gets while talking about you.”

That revelation made your face heat up. Rob talks about you, to his family? “H-he talks about me? A lot?”

Matt nodded, his eyes occasionally darting back to the screen to watch his brother perform. “All the time. Sometimes it’s hard for him to shut up. I haven’t seen that much love in his eyes in a long time. Shame you don’t feel the same way.” And with that, the band came off the stage for a moment before the encore, Matt leaving to talk with his brother for a minute.

“Yeah, except I do.” You muttered to no one in particular, your voice being drowned out by the crowd screaming for the band. Stephen came over for a quick good luck kiss, which you barely reciprocated, before he got in line to go back out. Locking eyes with Rob, you felt your heart begin to beat faster as his blue eyes seemed to stare into yours perfectly. Only when billy hit Rob on the back of the head, did the eye contact break.

Deciding you’d had enough today, you sneaked away and got in an uber early, heading back to the hotel. Once you got in your room, you quickly changed into pajamas and crawled into bed, ignoring the numerous texts you got 20 minutes later from Stephen on your whereabouts. And for the second night in a row, you went to bed alone.

Sunday

Sunday went off without a hitch, but Matt’s words kept ringing in your mind. He wasn’t drunk when he texted you, and he meant it. But then there was Stephen. Your boyfriend.

Once Sunday had wrapped, Stephen had come to your room with some flowers, to apologize, which made you happy, but it was like getting flowers from your mom when you’re single on valentine’s day.

“I’m sorry I tugged on your arm too hard, and I’m sorry I didn’t let you handle yourself with Rob.” Stephen smiled sheepishly, waving the flowers around before putting them on the bed.

“That’s really sweet. Thank you.” You gave him a soft smile, but when he went in for the kiss, you turned so he got your cheek instead. He looked hurt. “Sorry. Haven’t brushed my teeth yet.” You made up that excuse, when in reality, you didn’t want to kiss him.

He took it though, shrugging his shoulders. “Rob wouldn’t shut up about you today. Kind of annoying.”

“Stephen i’m pregnant with his child, it’s gonna happen. I wish you two could go back to how things were. I don’t want to ruin a 20 year friendship.”

Stephen rolled his eyes. “I see the way he looks at you. And I saw the text.”

You felt anger begin to bubble up under your skin. “You went through my phone?! That’s private Stephen!”

“I’m your boyfriend. I think I’m allowed to look on your phone.”

“For google or something! Not going through my messages like a jerk!” You spat, crossing your arms.

“It’s not like you had anything to hide! He confessed his feelings and you turned him down! Simple!” Stephen yelled in return.

“That’s not the point! You invaded my privacy!”

“It’s starting to seem like you want to fight with me just to fight! What’s gotten into you?!” Stephen questioned, rage becoming apparent in his own features.

“You’re being a dick! You’ve changed since you found out that Rob’s the father. You’re controlling and borderline possessive!” You shouted back.

“I’m just trying to protect you and our relationship from him!”

“Why?!”

“Because I see the way you look at him! It’s the same way I look at you! I saw the little eye contact last night and I know that’s why you ran away! I’m trying not to lose you and I feel like the only way that's going to happen is if he’s out of your life!” Stephen yelled, his voice cracking a little bit.

“What are you saying?” You asked, a bit worried about the answer.

Stephen sighed and looked you in the eye. “I want Rob out of your life. Cons, i’ll manage its your job, but personal life, he’s out.”

You almost laughed. “Stephen, that’s not going to happen. He’s the father of my child, and i’m not keeping him away from her.”

Stephen’s nostrils flared. “It’s either him or me. You need to choose because i’m done being strung along in your little game. And I know that if he stays, you’ll never fully love me.”

Your mouth was agape. He expected you to choose between him and Rob. He was making you choose.

“Him or Me, Y/N” Stephen spoke again, his voice harsh.

“I-”

Rob’s POV

Rob was laying in his bed, flicking through TV channels. This weekend hadn’t gone like he had hoped. He thought he’d be able to talk to you, try to make up for what Marnie did, but Stephen was everywhere. The second he’d try to talk to you, Stephen would be there, taking you away.

A knock on his door shook him from his thoughts. Who would be here this late?

Opening the door, Rob was shocked to come face to face with you. “Y/N. It’s late, what are you doing here?”

You pushed past him to enter the room and you turned to face him. “I lied.”

All color drained from Rob’s face. What did you lie about? Was Stephen actually the baby’s father? Had Marnie been right this whole time?

“A-about what?” Rob stuttered, shutting the hotel room door.

You took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. “When you texted me that night, telling me you loved me and I told you I didn’t feel the same. I lied.”

Rob’s face had shock written all over it. “Does that mean-”

“Yes Rob. I am completely and utterly in love with you. I’ve been trying to hide it but I can’t anymore. And I just hope that deep down, you still love me too.” Your voice matched your face. Hopeful. “Please say you still love me and I’m not too late.”

Rob was still silent. It took him a moment before he opened his mouth. “I.”

Positive Taglist : @natasha-cole @itsfunnierin-enochian @kocswain @missihart23 @wontlookaway @shanghai88 @rblstrash @burningrupture @sherlockedtash88 @bloodstained-porcelain-doll @tas898 @lullabylike @lexiemiller97

#rob benedict #rob benedict x reader #rob benedict fanfiction #rob benedict smut #rob benedict rpf #richard speight jr #Matt Cohen #Mandy Musgrave #Stephen Norton #billy moran #Mike Borja #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural RPF #spn rpf #rpf #fanfiction #positive #collinscosmicentity

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auroral-melody · 5 years

Note

Why do you ship Lucifer/Dream ? I'm just curious.

NONNY I LOVE YOU FOR GIVING ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO JUST YELL ABOUT THEM

As with most of the convoluted, context-less things I post (e.g., the full-on rewritten characterization of Beelzebub in Good Omens), it started with a simple conversation between myself, @procrastinatingbookworm, and @aqueeraphale…and ended up in a hence unwritten fanfic that maybe we’ll get around to eventually.

Put it this way: self-written fanfiction is the answer to why I ship them. I need to actually write it on a page for y’all. I’m not really going to go into ~Oh, My Ship Is Canon~ because it’s clearly not. I’ll point out a few things in canon I want to talk about, but this isn’t a “I ship them because [] and [] in canon” it’s a “I ship them because I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT STORIES I WROTE/MY FRIENDS WROTE”.

So how did this happen?

I’m pretty sure it started with something along the lines of generally agreeing Dream being bi, on the basis of Lucifer Pretty. Which evolved into an, “oh, that’s fun! let’s write it” RP, along with some doodles (back in May 2018. My art has improved since, and my character design thoughts, but)

Which turned into the concept that basically goes as follows

- Morpheus lonely and depressed- Death essentially brings him to Lux, to definitely set him up with Luci bc hey obvs they’re both bi disasters. Maybe see what happens- Morpheus voice I don’t dance- Death voice Okay I’m lesbian but he’s being nice and offering so I’ll dance with Luci instead- Morpheus voice [shocked pikachu meme]

Basically, it boils down to the fact that Morpheus was a very…lonely and sad person and tends to make enemies easily. Lucifer clearly doesn’t hate him, or Dream would probably be dead in a ditch, but he’s obviously engaged in their relationship as friendly rivals. Lucifer has just left Hell, and is kinda not knowing what to do with himself. He’s looking for something new and different.

They’re both incredibly touchstarved/affection-starved. Morpheus intentionally isolates himself from his friends and family, not seeking out friends, while Lucifer has spent the last billions of years completely alone in Hell.

So the setup here works pretty well. Death wants to help her brother, Lucifer is like, the one person who isn’t pissed at him, Morpheus Sad.

From then on is essentially just what we’ve written. They end up…somewhat dependent on one another for comfort because they just aren’t good at investing in any other relationships. And Death and Lucifer become more friendly.

Morpheus and Luci’s relationship is…tumultuous at best. They care for each other, but they cling so much to the One Thing they like at the moment. It’s not exactly the best thing. So the fact that Dream transformed into Daniel was pretty awful for everyone involved.

This AU fits in with the Lucifer continuity mostly based on Lucifer taking place shortly after Sandman ends. Dream is not often brought up, but allow me to go through some places where he is, and how I interpret them in context of the AU.

Obviously, this will have some spoilers. Also light NSFW art.

Lucifer (2000), issue #8.

[Image Description: Four panels of the Lucifer comic. The first is a backdrop, with Lucifer’s text saying, “But to Dream of the Endless, I imagine it would look like poaching, pure and simple. And since he’s the gamewarden he wouldn’t like that at all.” The second panel shows him holding a sword over a goddess’s son. The goddess, Izanami-no-Mikoto, looks on. She is made of stone. He says, “He’ll do it. I won’t even need to compel him. If I speak his name, he’ll come, and see what you’ve made here. So it’s your call, Queen of Death. Heads I win, and tails -- tails it all comes down.” The third panel shows the goddess holding up a hand to stop him. The fourth, the kneeling son says, “She offers atonement, Lucifer Morningstar. She offers your wings.” End description.]

In the AU, it makes a lot of sense that Lucifer would be able to easily summon Dream of the Endless with a single word. “He’ll do it. I won’t even need to compel him” is an interesting phrase. The absolute certainty in Dream’s actions – even if this is after Morpheus’s transformation (which I’m not sure of), Lucifer characterizes Dream as though he knows him well.

Oof. Lucifer: Nirvana.

[Image description: A watercolor cream and purple comic panel. In the distance, there is a boat. From the boat, Dream of the Endless says, “Bearing in mind our previous meetings, Lucifer Morningstar, might I suggest a bargain? I will ask no favors if you will offer me no gifts.” End description.]

This is the only conversation I recall in Lucifer or Sandman in which Daniel!Dream and Lucifer speak to one another. Yet Dream says,

“Bearing in mind our previous meetings, Lucifer Morningstar, might I suggest a bargain? I will ask no favors if you offer me no gifts.”

In the AU, their relationship soon after Dream becomes this version is tentative. Hostile at worst. They might be trying to figure out what comes next.

[@procrastinatingbookworm and I did write a fic on this! Find it here!]

Either way, they’ve talked before.

[Image description: A close picture, misty, cream and purple, watercolor, of a small boat, silhouetted. Dream’s silhouette is on the right, along with a small bird perched on the end of the boat. Lucifer is sitting, lounging on the left side of the boat. Lucifer says, “The situation isn’t likely to call for either. Your predecessor preferred a corkscrew to a stiletto. What’s your position?” End description.]

How did they end up on a boat in the middle of nowhere? Lucifer looks supremely comfortable, lounging, completely trusting that Dream offers him no harm. They’re standing, very awkwardly, on opposite sides of the boat.

Lucifer is making a metaphor here, regarding how Morpheus was not very to-the-point. He knew how Morpheus worked, how he thought. He’s asking in an almost affronting way: “What’s your position?” that could be interpreted as curious or as a thinly veiled hostility.

[Image description: A watercolor of Dream’s profile, somewhat silhouetted. He has white hair. He says, ‘By all means let us be direct. Someone has used human dreamers to stage an assault on you. I assure you, this someone has attracted my attention, too. The matter will be dealt with.” End description.]

Dream is taking this matter very seriously. It just seems that Morpheus may not have put as much attention into random attacks, but Dream is very involved. In the AU, this is kind of because Dream is keeping an eye out for Lucifer.

This conversation just hints, to me, of much more backstory between them.

They’ve been trying to bargain, offering favors or gifts to one another – something they don’t really have a good reason to do in the comics, except maybe to secure an alliance, but that feels…?? Well, considering the rest of the conversation…

[Image description: two panels, watercolor. The left is Lucifer’s face, and he says, “Actually I intend to deal with it myself. It would be unfortunate if our investigations hampered each other.” The right panel is of Dream, with a hand on his waist, looking down. He says, “I am interpreting that statement as a threat. Very well. This touches profoundly on my interests, but you are the injured party. Your rights are paramount.” End description.]

Lucifer is certainly difficult to make an alliance with. (Tangent, but I love this issue’s art style.) Dream still seems surprised – “Very well.” He is respecting Lucifer’s somewhat “bugger off” statement.

[Image description: A watercolor landscape shot of Lucifer on the left, with black wings spread, and Dream on the right, turned away from both the camera and Lucifer. Dream is saying, “I will conduct my own inquiries, along avenues that will not intersect with your own. Whatever I discover I will pass on to you. Via an intermediary, of course.” Lucifer replies, “As you like. But somewhere discreet. No white ravens.” He is referencing the bird also present but off-panel. End description.]

At this point, Dream turns mostly away from him. In my eyes, I see this as hurt/deflecting, supported by the fact that he says he will pass information via an intermediary – unnecessary, it feels, considering they’ve been talking, they’ve had multiple conversations before...it’s very sudden. Feels like it was based off of what Lucifer said. Which was a threat, but still, Dream knows how to not cross boundaries and get himself killed from a threat.

Lucifer doesn’t seem to have a strong opinion on this, or rather, he says, “As you like.” Letting Dream do whatever.

I don’t really have much to say on that part. It’s just a really fascinating conversation.

The Sandman (1989) Issue 72:

[Image description: Mazikeen and Lucifer sitting on what looks like a bench or stone beside one another. Mazikeen is to the left. She has an arm around Lucifer’s shoulders. Lucifer has his hands steepled in front of his face and his expression is unreadable, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. Mazikeen is almost leaning on him. She is wearing a red dress with no sleeves. Lucifer is wearing a blue suit. Both have curled hair, and Mazikeen is not wearing a mask. Overlaid, there is text from Matthew the raven, talking about Morpheus’s death. Matthew says, “I mean, Despair may be the thing that comes after hope, but there’s still hope. Right? When there’s no hope you might as well be dead. What’s in my heart?” End description.]

I find this significant in the AU because, firstly, it’s a point where Mazikeen shows affection to Lucifer. She has her arm around him. It feels...comforting, to me. Secondly, it’s the one panel of Lucifer I can find in the Wake -- and it’s when Matthew is talking about how he cares about Dream, and he’s figuring out his relationship with this new Dream.

Overall, Lucifer clearly respects Dream as just...another individual. He attends his funeral. He speaks with him multiple times.

In our AU, he and Dream are happily married, and their relationship post-Morpheus is settled, loving, happy. Because I love happy endings!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to shoot me a question about my thoughts on this AU. Because I have a LOT.

#Anonymous #my posts #asks #answers #dream / lucifer #i also ship john and lucifer ama #constantine i mean #listen at this point it's luci/dream/maze and maze/death and maze/beatrice and maze/constantine/luci #i have a lot of ships

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myfandomrambles · 6 years

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Lorelai Gilmore Character Analysis (updated)

Facts:

Grew up with her an emotionally abusive mother. Including constantly degrading her self-esteem (constantly calling her a disappointment, the “big head” incident. Forcing her into uncomfortable situations. making her act and dress the way Emily likes.)

Parents not taking a large interest in her interests.

Emily wants to be involved with her life but not willing to accept her choices (we see this in her expecting to always know whats going on. but then telling her that her choices are wrong.) Also exemplified in her saying she knows everything about Lorelai only admitting shes wrong once (Rory’s birthday parties.)

Lorelai has very few happy memories of her father. stating he never really played with her or did things with her in general (forgiveness and stuff, the revival of prime for two times she mentions this)

She always forgives her parents. even when the severely cross the line (Emily with breaking up her and luke. Emily always pushing Christopher on the girls. Constantly throwing Lorelai’s mistakes in her face. Emily telling her she never loved her father)

Lorelai took care of Rory by her self-starting at age 16.

Lorelai worked her way up through her job with no college education ( i assume she didn’t graduate high school but I have no idea) then started graduated from business school latter allowing her to start her own business.

Emily and Richard tend to try and control Lorelai. basically using the blackmail of Rory’s education to make Lorelai come to their house. angry when she pays them back but still agrees to visit them.

Was in a long-term relationship with Christopher as a child. Was put in a situation where everyone wanted them to get married. Not wanting this to happen she broke it off.

Attempted to allow Christopher to be a parent but he refused this offer unless Lorelai would marry him.

Has trouble with romantic relationships. breaking off an engagement, having an on again/off again relationship with Christopher eventually marrying him to get a divorce a short time later. Also had a very turbulent relationship with Luke. until the final work things out (post og series into revival) worsened by both of their lack of communication.

is a very loving friend. planning the funeral of her neighbour’s cat, participating in every town event donating her time and skills.

Puts Rory before anything else in her life in every situation. sometimes to a fault being very over cautious with Rory’s dating and education.

has an extremely close relationship with Rory with it being a friendship as much as a mother/daughter thing.

Analysis:

Lorelai is an extremely independent person. She wants to do everything her way and often by herself. This is obviously epitomized by her leaving her parents and supporting herself mostly on her own. She also tries to raise Rory in her way instead of the sheltered my way or the high way life of her parents. works to be the opposite.

Lorelai even in her independent state of mind she does tend to become over-attached to certain people throughout the story. This will happen with her boyfriend at the time. and then revert back to Rory.

Hides her insecurities and self-esteem problems with a strong bravado. These often stem from her childhood and parents. Feels guilt, anger, and frustration with her parents. She deals with these feeling by distancing herself. Another tactic she uses to cope is humour.

has a tendency to bit self-centred. Centring her wishes with the inn over Sookie’s. This problem can be part of her turbulent relations. Some of this is innate Lorelai but also comes from a deep need to control things around her.

self-sabotages often. Sleeping with Christopher when he comes when she knows it will hurt her. Porpously acting out with her parents to garner chaos (though sometimes I think its more of habit than trying to cause harm.)

Splits on people. Max around their proposed marriage, her parents multiple times (as a teenager, with paying the money, the luke brake up, yale etc.), Luke (with jess and April), Rory (Rory’s affair, quitting yale). Often to head off commitment.

Has a lack of self-control in social situations. Tends to speak when she shouldn’t, makes inappropriate comments (like bush and at Richards funeral), and be loud. She also uses humour to cope especially with her mom, so she doesn’t always attempt to hold it together.

Puts Rory before herself especially in the beginning. Her attachment to trying to never put her down sometimes to a point it is detrimental to them both

Has trouble focusing on tasks. Like homework, cooking, general stuff. She has a strong drive to do her work but finds completing the tasks hard. She does mostly get to what she wants.

She is loyal and loving. Helping her friends, throwing the bachelor and baby shower for Lane, painting for Luke, throwing April a birthday party, hanging out with Paris, babysitting for Sookie, and letting Kirk stay with her. One part of this is she has a deep maternal connection to anyone she has affection for. While she can be childish her deep compassion allows the emotion to have a maternal dynamic

Has a lot of old notions of classism. Believing the only way to get into a good college was feign richness by going to private school. This also gives a sense of entitlement she fights through the whole how.

Her communication skills are absolutely awful. This probably stems from her emotions neer being validated and a lack of taught coping skills.

ADHD:

Troubling focusing

Is extremely easily distractible. Switching subjects often, talking fast and getting off topic.

Her space is always disorganized when she is working.

Had trouble getting things started but was okay once she got into the groove.

Always losing things asking Rory to find them for her.

Stims/Fidgets throughout the show. Repeating words as an auditory/vocal stim (coffee, coffee, coffee). Is often showing moving her hands around. Uses foods in this capacity as well.

Not only an existentialy restless but also physically restless. Finds her parents long dinner hard to sit through.

Always talking. This is just her personality but also seems to be used to defuse her anxiety.

Always moving and going places. the trouble with lots of calm places

Extremely impulsive. Makes lots of choices without thinking

BPD:

a pattern of unstable romantic relationships

Extreme and powerful emotions

tendency to self-destruct

Fave person in the form of Rory

works hard to try and fend off abandonment often by running the relationship before it truly is at that point

acts impulsively on thoughts and feelings

struggles to understand and express her emotions

Intense mood swings

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reignmyworld · 6 years

Text

Masterlist One Shots and Series

For anyone, that is only interested in the One Shots and Series but not in the SongFics or Drabbles, here is the One Shots and Series Masterlist only.

One Shots

Don’t do this to me

Summary: You and Roman are best friends, going on a haunted places roadtrip, where you end up in an abandoned jail. You had your problems that all started when you crossed the line between friends and lovers. When he suddenly vanishes, you start roaming the jail. Will you be able to find him? (little bit of angst & fluff)

I need you to come back

Summary: You and Joe are expecting your first child. As you leave your regular check up at the doctor’s in order to head home a car smashes into your own, injuring you severely. The doctors are fighting for your life and the one of your unborn child. As Joe arrives at the hospital the time between hoping and fearing begins for him as he prays that both you and your child can stay with him. (angst)

I promised I would keep you safe (requested)

Summary: You and Joe had a huge argument, leading to the both of you going your separate ways. This however changes when you bump into him in a club and you find yourself in a rather dangerous situation that your ex-boyfriend saves you from. (angst & fluff)

You don’t piss into my yard, kiddo (requested)

Summary: You are a new addition to the main roster coming from NXT. Officials put you in a feud with none other than Roman and while you’re roasting each other during your first big promo, Roman takes the opportunity to direct a few not so polite words towards the fans as well.

There is a difference, whether you want to accept it or not

Summary: You and Roman end up arguing in your hotel room after a tough match whether there is a difference between fucking and making love. He tries to convince you that there is while you are of the opinion that it’s the same thing just named differently. That might change however when Roman decides to show you that there is indeed a difference. (smut)

It was always you

Summary: You and Roman are best friends that are both working for WWE hence why you often share a hotel room when you have to travel from town to town. On one of those ocassions you realize that he seems to be trapped in his thoughts and it takes you a little bit to realize that he must have fallen for someone. And as his best friend you of course think that you have a right to know who the lucky one is. (fluff)

It was always you - reader’s reaction

Summary: After Roman had confessed his feelings for you, you were absolutely unsure what to make out of it. Of course it would have been a lie to say that you weren’t feeling like him but you were way too scared to lose him as your best friend than to act on your feelings. This might change, however, after your morning started differently than you would have expected it to. (fluff, angst, smut)

Why do you hate me so much? Version 1 (requested)

Why do you hate me so much? Version 2 (requested)

Why do you hate me so much? Version 3 (requested)

Summary: You and Roman are at the same college. You don’t really have an easy time opening up to people but you nevertheless thought that you had found a friend in Roman, only to learn otherwise as you overhear him telling his friends that he’s the opinion of having fulfilled his dare of becoming friends with you to it fullest. Your world is crashing down as you had really thought that you could trust him. (angst, self-harm, college AU, suicide (only in Version 2), fluff and happy end (only in Version 3)

30 days and 30 nights

Summary: You and Roman decide to spend your vacation in a cabin in the middle of the woods to relax from your stressful life as WWE superstars. All could be so romantic if you hadn’t the feeling that he primarily brought you there, so the both of you could spend most of your time having sex without any interruption. As you confront him with that thought Roman denies your accusation and in order to prove you wrong he suggests to go 30 days and 30 nights without making love to you. You are certain that he can’t make it but you nevertheless agree. But who said that you would play fair? Of course he wants to win his challenge but so do you by making him lose. (smut)

Don’t make a sound

Summary: Telephone interviews could be boring, especially if the same questions are being asked over and over again. It was one of those podcasts Joe had to participate on his day off and he was anything but happy about that. As you realize how bored your boyfriend is during that occasion, you decide to heat things up a little bit, forcing him to remain silent while doing so, otherwise everyone listening to his interview would know about the distraction you were offering him. (smut)

Standing in the line of fire (requested)

Summary: You work as a medic for WWE, constantly facing the danger of getting involved in the in ring action. During a match between Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar you get hit severely, hurting you so bad that you have to be brought backstage. When Roman finds out he’s torn between being sick of worry and the wish to harm the person, that has done this to you.

I’m always by your side (requested)

Summary: It has been three weeks after Joe’s brother Matt had passed. He thought he would be fine returning to the WWE only one week after his brother’s funeral, but that was a beautiful lie. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t return to work like that hence why the officials urged him to take some well needed time off. You want to help him, want to show him how much he means to anyone at WWE, so you gather some letters for him, sending them to him. Although all of them touch his heart, it is yours that means the world to him. (angst, lil bit of fluff, mentions of death and the coping with it)

You don’t swim with sharks, unless you accidentally swim with sharks

Summary: You, Roman and your friends decide to go on a vacation on a little island to recharge your batteries from the constant WWE tour stress. When Roman decides that he wants to go down in a shark cage, you are anything but content with that decision. Of course, things don’t go according to plan and you find yourself fearing for his life. (fluff / angst / smut)

Take it out on me, babe (requested)

Summary: Joe is absolutely frustrated with the fact that he has to lose to Brock again and again, not getting that damn title, not becoming the new Universal Champion. As he returns home after a training session, he is beyond frustrated, ranting to you about this whole situation. You listen closely, knowing damn well how you can help him to get rid off his frustration. (smut)

If it bothers you, why don’t you talk to me?

Summary: You, Roman and a bunch of friends head for an augmented scare vacation, that would be all fun and games if it wasn’t for Roman, that refused to talk to you although you had no idea why. As your friends dared you to spend the night outside in the woods, you are forced to work together, being rather challenging as you had learned the reason behind your boyfriend’s behavior by now and you couldn’t understand how he could act like that instead of just talking to you. (angst / fluff)

Why can’t you just admit that you care about her?! (requested)

Summary: As Nia wants to throw a Halloween party in the house the both of you live in, you decide to help prepare it just like Seth, Dean and Roman do. For your friends it’s no big secret that you and the Samoan like each other more than friends actually do, although both of you always decline when being confronted with it. As a lot of guys start flirting with you during the party, Roman’s temper has the worst of him, causing you to confront him with regard to his behavior. Sooner than later the both of you have to play with open cards.(jealousy / fluff / smut)

Only with you I feel complete

Summary: Roman and you had been a couple for quite some time when you start arguing once again since he feared that your best friend, a trainer at the WWE performance center, might win you over. You have enough of his accusations, your relationship shattering into thousands of pieces after a huge fight. But much to your displeasure Roman had been right after all, when you suddenly find yourself in a toxic affair with your best friend. When things turn terrible for you, it is Roman, that’s there to pick you up again. (angst, hurt, comfort, fluff, smut but nothing too explicit)

_______________________________________________________________________

(Mini) Series

A hunter’s life (Supernatural AU, Virgin! Reader)

Summary: Roman and you are both hunters, going after all kinds of Supernatural creatures. One of your cases leads you into a quiet, little town where three young women had already been kidnaped. As you figure out that it is a dragon you are after, things take a twist as not only other women’s lives are in danger but your own is at stake as well, since it’s virgin flesh the dragon is craving for. And no matter how much Roman seems to dislike you, he is not willing to let that danger threaten you anymore. The problem is... You are not quite sure if you want exactly him to help you so you would be safe again - as this would mean telling him about your personal secret .

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (smut) Part 4

A dream is a wish your heart makes (Hogwarts AU)

Summary: Roman Reigns, the new Defense Against Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. You, one of the smartest students of the Hogwarts University, in your last year… You didn’t think that you could ever dislike a professor more than Severus Snape and yet here he was, Roman Reigns. You couldn’t stand him just like he couldn’t stand you. However, you are forced to question whether you really disliked him as much as you thought when your best friend gave you a special gift for your birthday - a glass ball that’s supposed to treasure your heart’s desire. As you realized what your heart desired the most, it left you in shock and no one, especially not Roman, was allowed to see it. But what happens when you lose it and it ends up in the wrong hands?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 (smut)

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

My soul belongs to you (Greek Mythology /Greek Underworld AU)

Summary: You are a barista at Starbucks, having noticed that there is a customer visiting that coffee shop on a regular basis, but although you have seen him several times already, all you know is his name: Roman. One day your life takes a turn for the worst when you receive a fatal call, telling you that your sister is fighting for her life. You are willing to give your own life in exchange for hers, you are willing to give everything to save her. Little do you know that someone was listening to you, someone was willing to save your sister’s soul and take yours instead. And you soon have to figure out that there is more to this world than you would have ever believed.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

‘Āiga means Family (Pregnancy Series)

Summary: Christmas was just around the corner and you couldn’t wait to have Joe back home after his last WWE live event for that year. Especially, since Christmas promised to be rather special that year, given that you had a particular present, you wanted your husband to surprise with. Your pregnancy came as a surprise for yourself but you hoped that he would be just as happy as you were. What better occasion could there be than breaking the news wrapped as a Christmas gift?

Part 1

#roman reigns imagine #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns story #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns #masterlist #one shot masterlist #my works #one shot

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ask-the-succubus-nyx · 6 years

Text

Just another dream...

The sun is beginning to set behind the city skyline. Javier watches the sky turn to brilliant hues of purple and orange from his office window. Once the sun has finally gone down and shrouded the church in darkness, Javier goes to light a few candles and say a few much needed prayers. He kneels in front of a statue of the Blessed Virgin and does what he does at the end of every day. He crosses himself and kisses his rosary before standing and going to make sure the pews are clean and the hymnals back in their proper places. He suddenly realizes he is not alone in his church. He can see a woman sitting in a heavily shadowed pew. This is not an uncommon sight. People seeking guidance sometimes stayed after usual church hours to speak with him privately. He walks over to the woman, smiling.

From her spot in the pew she watches him; his devotion and faith is clear. This is not exactly a place she wants to find herself when in someone’s dream, but if this is where his mind has gone, then she has no intention of changing it. The church is beautiful, colors of stained glass dancing in candlelight. As she looks around, she wonders how much of this setting is related to their previous encounter, and a half smile crosses her lips. Is he feeling guilty for putting his vows to the test? Nyx’s head is bowed in thought when he approaches, shadows concealing her face. “Good evening Father,” she greets, a trace of humor in her voice.

Her soft and beautiful voice is unmistakable to Javier. He stops dead in his tracks, afraid to get too close to the woman he now knows is in fact a demon. He runs his hands through his dark curls nervously. "What are you doing here Nyx?" He cant bring himself to look at her, out of fear of becoming weak again. "Would have thought a demon would burst into flames inside a Catholic church."

She looks up at him, the smile spreading across her face. “So you know what I am,” she notes lightly. “It’s all about my intentions. I can come into a church as long as I mean no harm to anyone inside.” She doesn’t mention that, regardless of her intention, if she were to touch anything blessed it would burn through her skin like a flame eats through paper. As she watches his body language, she can see how nervous he seems to be. “Are you afraid of me now?” she asks softly.

"Yes, I know. My cousin told me. He apparently is in some Satanic ghost band or something. He happened to mention you and what you really are." Javi is shifting his weight from leg to leg awkwardly. Should he run? Should he grab some holy water and hope that if he throws it on her she goes away? No. He doesn't want to hurt her and he also doesn't want to leave. He opts for taking a seat in a pew across from Nyx. "Why are you here? "

“Your cousin? Is in the church?” This is certainly an interesting turn of events. Nyx wonders who it might be. She’s relieved when he sits, glad he hasn’t run away, and turns to face him. “Because I wanted to see you again,” she shrugs, answering honestly.

He finally looks up at her. Those eyes bore into his very soul. It terrifies him, but he doesn't let his fear show. "Yes, he is. He seems to think rather highly of you actually." Javi is not surprised that she wanted to see him again. She probably came to finish what she started last time they met. Then he recalls what she said about how she was able to be in the church because she had no intention of harming him or anyone else for that matter. Eros certainly hadn't seemed fearful of Nyx when he spoke about her, so maybe he didn't need to fear her either. "You know I cant sleep with you Nyx. I'm a priest. I'm sure at this point you're well aware of that."

“I know. Can’t blame a girl for trying though,” she grins. She turns a little and catches sight of a Bible resting on the pew near her. “I feel like I’m being watched,” she laughs, shaking her head. Nyx inches away from the book to the end of the bench, closer to him, and sighs. “Whatever you may think about what I am, I promise that I won’t hurt you. I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I wasn’t always a demon, just as you weren’t always a priest.” She pauses, wondering if she should ask the question that’s been lingering in her head since their previous meeting. “...What made you take your vows?”

He smiles slightly at her comment. "God is always watching." He wonders if God keeps tabs on demons as well as humans. He sees her move a bit closer to him but isn't bothered by it. Deep down, he wants her to move even closer still, but he would never admit this to himself. "I'm not afraid of you. I thought, maybe I should be but, I believe you when you say you won't hurt me. " Javi is surprised to learn that Nyx wasn't always the creature she is now. He is terribly curious now to know about who or what she used to be. The priest sighs and leans back against the pew. "I joined the priesthood because I was lost. I was always the type of guy who liked to party pretty hard. But the drinking started getting out of control. By the time I was twenty six, I couldn't go more than a few hours without a drink or my hands would start to just shake uncontrollably. I stupidly got involved with some very bad people who ran all sorts of underground events. Dog fighting, casinos, prostitution, you name it. So then I had this gambling problem on top of the drinking. One morning I woke up on the floor in a strange house covered in my own vomit..." He pauses and looks up at the beautifully rendered fresco of Mary and baby Jesus on the ceiling. "...and blood. A lot of blood. And it wasn't mine. I decided right then and there that I needed to make a drastic change in my life. So I came to this church. I confessed all my sins to the old priest who used to run this place. I can tell you, I was in that confessional for a very long time." He chuckled softly. "He suggested I give religion a try. I did and God saved my life and my soul."

She listens to him, concern etched in her face. As he speaks, she can almost see the things he’s describing. She can certainly feel every bit of the emotion that’s tied to the memories. “I’m glad you were saved from a destructive path,” she says, voice soft. Nyx shakes her head; his story is so different from her own. While he had run toward faith, she had run from it. “I can’t imagine faith being a lifeline for me the way it is for you. I wonder though...Do you ever feel as if you might’ve gone from one extreme to another? Obviously this one much safer, but an extreme nonetheless?”

Javi looks down at his hands for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "Maybe I did. But this extreme keeps me in line. Keeps me and everyone around me safe and happy. This church is my home. Through it, God saved me and countless others. Father Martin, the priest I met here all those years ago, taught me to love myself again. And now I'm the one teaching those who come here the same thing." Javier moves down the pew a bit, coming a tiny bit nearer to the succubus. "Tell me about your life. You say you weren't always...what you are now. What happened to you?"

When he asks about her past, she looks away. It’s not something she talks about often, but she supposes it’s only fair since he answered her question about his. “I was human just like you are. My mother was a religious zealot so I got married young because I wanted to get away from her.” Nyx smiles wistfully at the memory of her wedding day. “My husband was everything to me, I loved him with my heart and soul. A few years into our marriage he had a horrible accident and I was so desperate to save him that I made a deal with the Devil. On my own death it would cost my soul in exchange for his life. I didn’t realize my darling husband had been having an affair the whole time or that my death would come as swiftly as it did.” She pauses, shaking her head. At last she meets his eyes, the smile on her lips bitter now. “He murdered me for his mistress.”

As Nyx spoke Javi’s expression turned to one of true sadness. So she had given away her immortal soul to save the life of someone she loved. Her story broke his heart. The priest got up from the pew he was seated on and sat right next to Nyx. He reached out took hold of her hand. "I am so very sorry for everything you went through. I'm sure nothing I say can really help you, but I think what you did was incredibly selfless. You did it out of love. As for your husband, he was clearly an idiot for not realizing what he had." He squeezes her hand slightly and inches closer to her.

“Thank you,” she whispers, leaning her head on his shoulder. She squeezes his hand back and pushes the memories away. “It took me a long time to realize that what he did wasn’t my fault. Some men are real pieces of work, but at least I’m free of my ex husband. He was nothing like what I’d thought. I guess in a weird way I got a second chance because of Satan. This isn’t a terrible life that I lead now.”

When Nyx leans on him, Javi’s entire body tenses up and his pulse quickens. He's not sure if its because he’s afraid of having his soul stolen, or if it’s because he feels something for her. He’s physically attracted to her, there can be no doubt about that, but after hearing her story and learning what a good person she was in life, it felt like something more. Slowly, he puts a comforting arm over her shoulder. He knows he shouldn't, but he does it regardless.

There’s something incredibly sweet in the way he’s trying to console her and the irony here is not lost on Nyx. A priest comforting a demon under the roof of a Catholic Church has to be one for the books. Despite how ridiculous the situation is, his gentleness is more than welcome. She turns into him, resting her head lightly on his chest. Nyx can read his heartbeat more clearly now and she smiles. “Nervous?” she asks, her voice lightly humorous. She places her hand over the center of his chest. “Your heart is racing.”

The priest turns his head toward Nyx as she lays her head against his chest. He revels in the feeling of her silky black hair against his chin. "I'm not sure nervous is the right word..." He can feel himself blushing and hopes she doesn't notice. Why was this happening to him? He’s known countless beautiful women since he joined the priesthood and not a single one has ever had such an effect on him. He desperately wants to believe it’s because of what she is. Succubi steal the souls of weak and unsuspecting men. It’s what they do. But if that was all Nyx wanted of him, surely she would have done it by now. Never had he imagined that a demon could be so...human. She was broken. She had suffered in the name of love. He is slowly beginning to question all that he knows.

He seems so conflicted to her. It’s clear that his faith had never prepared him for the reality that not all demons started out as evil. “Not nervous? Then what?” Her tone is playful and she tilts her head to catch a glimpse of his face. What she sees surprises her. His cheeks are flushed with color and that makes her smile. So she does have an effect on him, no matter how hard he might want to fight it. “Hmm you seem a little warm. Feeling alright?”

Javi clears his throat. "I, uh..." He pulls away from her slightly and nervously runs his hands through his hair. "I don't know what I'm feeling right now. You just, confound me a bit, I suppose.” He smiles warmly at her and stands, offering her a hand. "How about we go for a walk. Have you ever been to a Venezuelan festival? The Carúpano Carnaval is going on. I think you'd enjoy it." Suddenly the echoing sounds of steel drums and salsa music can be heard blaring through the city streets just outside the Basilica.

Nyx grins up at him, placing her hand in his as she stands. “No I’ve never been to one before. Let’s go.” The music outside is full of energy and she can’t wait to see what else is out there. She holds his hand as they walk out of the church together and has to admit she feels a sense of relief to be out of it.

#part 1 #Javi/Nyx

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equalexes · 3 years

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The Do’s And Don’ts Of Divorce

Too many times in the midst of divorce, unresolved anger takes over a person’s behaviour and they become something that they usually are not. This can happen to the nicest of people; no one is free from the temptation of hurting their ex or soon-to-be-ex as much as, if not more than, they have already hurt them. To help keep things civil as possible, here’s a list of “do’s” and “don’ts” as a reminder of what ethical behaviour during a divorce looks like.

Do: 1. Spend this time working on yourself instead of focusing too much on the other person. This way you are better prepared to be without your ex. 2. Stop arguing with them and yourself. Remember, you are getting a divorce for a reason. 3. Eliminate emotional, verbal, and physical intimacy from the relationship to prevent as much confusion as possible. 4. Respect your ex’s physical personal space as if the two of you were strangers. 5. Answer only the question your ex asks you. Try to prevent expanding the conversation in a way that will only cause further harm. 6. Have one or two good friends and a divorce coach that support you in this process. Just like with any trial life throws at you, a support system is essential to keep you secure. 7. Respect new boundaries of ‘This is my space and that is yours’. Crossing those newly set lines will only lead to greater conflict. 8. Discuss any and all surveillance with your lawyer. Try to keep the process legal to benefit both you and your ex in the long run. 9. Make sure to have a witness with you when speaking with your ex if you feel unsafe. 10. Think of divorce as a business transaction instead of an emotional one. As difficult as it may be, by eliminating those emotional aspects you are more capable of cleanly handling the process.

11. Allow your lawyer to mediate as a way to help navigate through any tricky areas of marital dispute. 12. Communicate strictly via text message or email as best you can. This will help maintain a healthy barrier between you and your ex. 13. Communicate to your ex only what is necessary or needed. Allowing any extra interaction has the potential to complicate the situation exponentially. 14. If you have children, all kid transitions must take place in a safe location. 15. Remember to consider that your kids are ½ you and ½ your ex, so even in the trickiest situation treat your ex with respect. This will not only set an excellent example for your children, but it will also minimize any trauma from the divorce that they may be going through. 16. Always answer only the questions your kids ask about the divorce, don’t elaborate. Providing details can be unnecessarily painful for you and your children. 17. Reach out to your kids daily when you are not with them. It is important to keep strong lines of communication to let your children know that they still have you as a source of love and support. 18. Give your ex the first right of refusal when caring for the kids. 19. Have a standard line as the reason for the divorce that doesn’t cause shame or embarrassment for you, your ex, and/or your kids that you can use as a public or general response. Remember, you’re trying to make it through this process as painlessly as possible, so don’t put your family through any unnecessary negative attention. 20. Remember your code of conduct and act accordingly. You are representing yourself, and your behaviour is a significant reflection of who you want to become by the end of the divorce process.

Don’t: 1. Focus so much on your ex that you neglect self-care. Your top priority must be taking care of yourself. 2. Belittle your ex or try to instigate them: this is a sad reflection on your character and can cause further aggravation. 3. Have sex with your ex: this only confuses them, yourself, and the situation – even if you tell yourself “it doesn’t mean anything” or “it’s the last time.” 4. Hit any part of your ex, push or shove, verbally threaten harm, throw things, or block your ex from leaving. This will only provide more for them to potentially use against you throughout the process. 5. Overuse texting or emailing just to point out the flaws in your ex. At this point, it is useless to point fingers and only adds stress and anger where it’s not needed

6. Undermine your ex’s friendships or try to alienate them from family. You need to start focusing on you and becoming negatively and overly involved in your ex’s life will not help you accomplish that. 7. Go rifling through your ex’s stuff. Nothing you will find will satisfy what you are feeling – that is something you have to do on your own. 8. Track your ex or record their conversations without permission. This is a violation of privacy that will inevitably make the entire situation worse. 9. Be alone with your ex, if at all possible. Just like emotional interaction and sex, this will make moving on and a cleaner divorce less of a possibility. 10. Let your emotions override your logic during the divorce. It’s easy to get caught up in your head and what your feeling during this process, but to remain healthy and stable for yourself and your children, you must be able to be objective. 11. Rehash reasons for getting a divorce. Both you and your ex know why the divorce is happening – reopening old wounds can only cause further harm. 12. Communicate verbally unless the communication is about the kids. With such a sensitive topic, keeping it as business-like as possible will benefit all parties. 13. Send excessive text messages or emails for any reason. Try to limit them to a few per day at the absolute most. 14. Ask your kids, instead of your ex, to modify any transitions involving them. This will help to limit contact. 15. Bad ever mouth your ex in front of your kids. Your ex is still their parent and creating a toxic relationship between them and the ex is never healthy. 16. Talk to the kids about the specifics of the divorce, money, separation of assets, or support. Try to limit anything you tell to just what is necessary. 17. Keep your kids from speaking to your ex when they are with you. Just because your contact with them must be limited, doesn’t mean the kids should feel pressured into cutting contact with them as well. 18. Supervise your kid’s communication with your ex. Make sure your ex is respecting any boundaries that the two of you made for when it comes to communicating with your children. 19. Spread rumours about your ex. Often, you end up only hurting your kids and you looking petty in the process. 20. Lose your values, morals, or ethics during the divorce. Always hold fast to what you stand for, and do not let the process of divorce negatively dictate your behaviour.

#divorce #separation #marrage dissolution #co parenting

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