Chat they made Minecraft into a silly goofy cringe movie even through Minecraft is actually about life and earth and the universe and tearing meaning out of the ground and molding it with your hands into something that you can be proud of. They made the pink sheep look ugly and funny for a cheap laugh when it should’ve been a beautiful moment where you, age eleven, come across this rarity, this beautiful anomaly and you hold its face in your hands and stare into its chocolate brown eyes and you realize what the whole world is about. Chat they made it into a joke
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alternate take on my other steve comic.
help me afford new socks
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nah since marvel is trending again I’m going to say it again louder for the people in back — canon steve rogers would never have chosen an “idyllic 1950s white pickett fence life” because the only place that man belonged was a picket LINE. the whole point of his character was that his work was never done. there was always going to be another oppressor, another bully, another person who takes advantage of the underprivileged for him to stand up to. from the moment he gained consciousness he, a chronically ill son of a working class mother living below the poverty line, used his voice and his body to protect & fight for what he believed in. I’m not sure there was ever a time pre-super soldier serum where he didn’t have a black eye. he could put the shield down all he wanted but he could never retire from being steve rogers — someone who never once turned a blind eye, who never once wanted a “reward” for his work, who never once abandoned his friends. this isn’t up for debate. this is almost a century of comic book & film/animated precedent. he may have been a man out of time, but in his words “it’s tempting to want to live in the past. it’s familiar, it’s comfortable. but it’s where fossils come from”
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wow I can’t imagine how much effort the makers of the minecraft movie had to put into creating something original. it's not like they had anything else they could have taken inspiration from
wow that's. that's so impressive of them.
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Alright let’s run down why this trailer sucks.
First up… this is not how Minecraft terrain generation WORKS. I understand they’re trying to push the blocked aesthetic of the world, but this just looks like bad world edit creation with these massive block shapes making up the arch here.
This is not how trees in Minecraft look. They don’t have branches like that.
What is the crafting recipe here? A couple iron ingots and some sticks haphazardly placed on a crafting table make… what is that? Two buckets on a chain??? What the fuck item is that? Why isn’t it a familiar Minecraft item? Why is the recipe not important? Why does he say Jack Black’s panda Po’s catchphrase while crafting it?
THIS is the only accurate thing in the trailer so far. A tree floating and its component piece hovering in the middle. That’s accurate. Good job.
Why are we doing piglins invading? Why are they not zombifying in the sun? Why are they shown multiple times in broad daylight raiding villages when we have actual RAIDERS IN THE GAME we could be using instead?
Here’s the magical mcguffan. Probably how they get into the world and how they get out.
And finally the creeper. I know people like to assume the creeper is made of grass, but given the texture of the poster I have a feeling this is legitimately 100% how the creeper looks in movie too. It’s just… grass. Highly detailed dense grass.
That is not how I envision creepers.
There’s sooooo much wrong with this film I am BAFFLED at how bad it is. How do you get Minecraft THIS WRONG???
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