#and wretch...........

[sadclowncentral]

shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king

[fishandshesmygills]

they should invent an understanding and intellectualizing your feelings that makes them go away!!!

[corellianhounds]

Saw one of those posts where someone was like “Boba Fett was only 37 in Return of the Jedi?? He shoulda been at the clubbb” and like. I cannot stress enough how much he was AT the club. He was chilling in the corner but he was at the club. Max Rebo was there and everything

[wolfythewitch]

Giggling

[jayvikkz]

“she fed him to me.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

A friend of mine has been reading The Locked Tomb trilogy aka descended into Lesbian Necromancer Hell . He's having a great time, and been sending me reports from the pits.

Now I know that in the context of the story "DEATH TO VULTURES AND SCAVENGERS FIRST" is very poetic and badass, but taken with the context that this is the motto of the bone-manipulating guys, the motto sounds slightly less badass and more like they've been having an ongoing problem with Lammergeiers.

Thing is,

A Lammergeier is like, the single most badass familiar an osteomancer could have. Fuck off huge raptorial bird that is either black and white or black and blood red so either way it goes with your goth-ass aesthetic and is extremely easy to train to bring you fun and interesting new bones? Why does the ninth house NOT have these?

Oh right. Jod.

Anyway, this combined with a previous idea I had about Truly Awful Bird/Mammal combinations for The Worst Gryphon Ever, and you know what? Some fuckass idiot in that universe WOULD make a Lammergeier/Spotted Hyena Gryphon. Now that's a creature made to fuck over necromancers six ways from Sunday.

Eats flesh AND bones.

Constantly scream-laughing.

Terrifyingly intelligent.

-And then whatever idiot created this abomination made it big enough to ride and drool corrosive venom because everyone in that universe automatically doubles down on any bad idea they have.

Harrow is sobbing at it's mere existence.

Gideon is trying to cradle it in her arms. This is their daughter now.

"Daddy harrowhark put a bone in mommy griddlecakes and she made Princess Bonefucker Ultraviolence 9000 and birthed her with her own womb-" Gideon is saying aloud in the most babytalk voice possible to the gryphon, who is rolled over on its back and entirely agreeable with being smothered with affection, because if the Gryphon has a sole redeeming feature it's that it possesses the zen like chill that comes from the bone-deep knowledge that it is at the absolute apex of the local food chain.

It's also wearing Gideon's sunglasses.

They do not fit.

Gideon may spoil Princesss Bonefucker Ultraviolence 9000 but that animal is OBSESSED with Harrow. It's a real Daddy's Girl kind of creature, and it will attempt to eat the face of anyone that so much as looks at Harrow without her permission. Harrow isn't sure about this thing until it takes an actual shilouette-altering sized CHUNK out of Ortus' ass, and then she becomes very fond of Daddy's Special Little Apex Predator. She deigns to give it one (1) headpat, and is treated to Princess Bonefucker's "Happiness Noise", which sounds like someone threw a handful of gravel into a running garbage disposal.

"Why..?" Harrow asks, feeling the remaining edges of her sanity start to melt.

"Why not?" Asks Gideon, accurately reporting the entire thought process that went into the creation of this horror.

[nyancrimew]

[edwardsdeathcabcd]

when bella didn't want to get married at 18 because she saw how her parents' marriage crumbled and she was opposed to the patriarchal nature of the whole institution, and is bitter about it until the moment she is walking down the aisle, but as soon as she's married she realizes that being mrs. cullen is actually the best thing to ever happen to her and she's immediately ecstatic to have a baby with her husband. the way jacob says "you don't even belong to yourself anymore" about imprinting and is repulsed by the very idea, but then when he imprints he realizes it's actually what he was born to do & nothing could make him happier & he leaves everything behind to live with his mate's family. man once you become aware of the mormon agenda present within the twilight saga it is ALL you're aware of lol

[bonesmarinated]

I don't speak German but I can if you like

[laughingliliums]

MAGtober 2024 Day 3 - It already sees you

POV you are a wretched thing and your about to be ceaselessly watched.

A complete list of fears under the cut for if you can't spot them all.

The Eye - Jon's open eye/the eyes behind him

The Web - the webs under Jon's arms/the six arms themselves

The Lonely - the white streaks in Jon's hair

The Strangers - the arm covered in hand prints

The Hunt - the scar on Jon's neck

The Spiral - the Spiral pattered arm

The Slaughter - the bleeding wound in Jon's shoulder

The Flesh - the two missing ribs

The Vast - the lighting pattered arm

The Dark - Jon's closed eye

The Desolation - the arm with fire exploding from the palm

The Buried - Jon's fingernails/the dirt under them

The Corruption - the worm hole covered arm

The End - the arm with jagged marks from the explosion/the hospital

[perplexingly]

I took the text from Frankenstein: A New Musical

[catmask]

kill sleep repeat

[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[speremint]

Onion likes to wake me up by turning on my lamp and then knocking it over so he can stare at me with the eyes of the abyss

[bl00dalchemist]

I would have paid to see them interacting.