#and yeah he isn’t always drunk! he just has a fun time sometimes :)

[fumifooms]

You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!

Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨

Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.

Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?

I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:

Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.

My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡　

Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.

Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.

So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.

Conclusion

Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)

There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha

[cashewally-sarcastic]

Modern Au Venti would be the only archon with a drivers license HEAR ME OUT. Tsaritsa and Furine get driven around. Ei gave her license to Yae alongside her gnosis. Nahida is baby. Murata is MIA. Zhongli used to have a drivers license but since taking on a new identity he has to be careful when it comes to his government forms. He's still trying to find a loophole and its killing him. Hu tao has a lisense before he dose.

Now why Venti? Surely the drunkard would have had his license revoked or smth like that? No! He will definitely NOT drive while tipsy. He knows better! And he loves the freedom having a car gives a person. Being able to just go somewhere at any time. He may skirt the line when it comes to speed, but he keeps it legal :)

Okay bestie you didn’t even need to make a case I 1000% agree dhdudbdjfsb

Like okay modern au Furina would be driven around, probably Tsaritsa too (assuming she goes out?). Yeah Ei would either give hers away to Miko or she just DESPERATELY needs to renew it and doesn’t know. Nahida is baby I agree.

Zhongli paperwork 😔

But yeah Venti having a license makes so much sense but ALSO because he interacts with people the most?? So of course he has one?? The rest of the archons are probably celebrities/something similar in modern au, or whatever happened with Zhongli but Venti has always just been like. Normal person-ish. Or tries to be :)

[signedkoko]

Could I get a Mammon, Vox and Husk with a S/O who gets harassed on the street and their reaction? You can have full creative control over what type of harassment!

I love your fics- if this isn’t getting the creative juices flowing just let me know and I’ll request something different <3

🦷 anon

Husk | Mammon | Vox [Romantic]

In which some loathsome idiot thinks they'll get away with harassing their beloved s/o.

One of your favourite date nights is spent bar hopping

Pop a drink or two in each one, sometimes sharing one cocktail, his wing draped around you, your head leant on his shoulder, humming to the music surrounding you

Both of you had a preference for the less popular spots, the kinds of places you got the weirdest combinations, where he could be inspired and you could give him thoughts

The plus side of the smaller joints was that the music was never too loud, drinks were cheaper, and there was always a few spots free at the bar

Downside was that most places had their regulars, the kind of people who couldn't get in anywhere else

The kind of desperation that builds and spreads like mold in the corner of a dark room next to a leaky pipe

On a few occasions, someone would harmlessly ask to buy you a drink and would turn tail when Husk gave them his usually 'fuck off' look

But this time, the guy would just not get the hint

" What? Already claimed dibs on the bitch? "

Yeah- no, that attitude towards you is not going to fly

Not even three seconds and there's a bottle smashed on the drunk demons head, and three cards flying back into Husk's hand

That's when the bleeding starts

You slap a 20 down for your bill and jump straight up, already being dragged by Husk out the door

Insists if he stayed there you would have both gotten banned anyways, and he likes that spot

You guys don't really go out so casually without a good reason, or just for old times sake

A sin and his spouse on a city street in greed was just asking for bad things to happen

But still, if you asked and he had nothing that day, Mammon would always rather get quality time with you and people watch

Thats most of your conversation, pointing out demons and joking about what you think they are like, what the do, how they speak

It's always a fun game, until some newcomer saw you laughing at him and marched right up, clearly on something and clearly ready to have a go at someone

The moment he reaches for your wrist, his thumb falls to the floor, a messy and jagged cut the only sign of attack besides one of Mammons spider legs now revealed

Before he can even realize the pain or what's happened, Mammon lets out a menacing laugh

" Every extra inch towards my broad is another finger. "

That demon was already screaming and running away, most the crowd on the street that was watching now hurrying in any direction opposite of you and Mammon

" I'm only worth one finger? "

" Nah. Just being generous for once. "

Not really a street guy, but unfortunately some press conferences and events require mingling and interacting with others, which he never liked

Thankfully, with you he has an excuse to stay away from others, or show you off

He usually goes for the latter

He's all 'Have you met my wife?' 'My wife loves x and y!' 'Isn't my wife absolutely gorgeous?'

You are the first topic he speaks of after his company; you'd be the first if he didn't have to waste so much time being a salesman, but that is how the cookie crumbles

Sometimes when there's specific press releases, he has to send you off for a moment, where you usually go and mingle with some of the others in his industry you befriended

During one such interview, he couldn't help but spot out the corner of his eye, some lousy business woman drape her arm around your waist and grab at your hip

" Sorry yeah, this interview is over. "

Literally shoves his way over, sparks and electricity flying, to rip you out of her arms

" Baaabe, is this a friend? Whatever the case, we really gotta get going! "

Jealousy 3000

He's glad he stepped in after he overhears that lady had a habit of harassing other attendees

New clause in every interview; they have to include you or provide security over you while he is busy

Author's Note - Tooth anon comes in for another PIPIN HOT request!! I actually feel so bad because every time I take a break form writing is on yoru request and that really makes it look bad I am so sorry 😩

[t1ts-4-scattorcio]

Protective nat w a soft gf pls 🙏

Protective Nat x Soft GF Reader

You were known for being kind which is why it was odd to see you and Nat together, especially as girlfriends. Sweet quiet girl always looking for the best in people and an angsty grunge goth latched to her hip. 

The epitome of sunshine and dark cloud + has an attitude with everyone else but you. She can have the most sour expression on her face then is all goo goo eyes when she see’s you.

“Hey nat whats up?” Jackie asks, “Nothing.” 😒 ‘you enter’ immediately skips to you “Hey baby” 😍

She loves making you happy, she’s up for anything you want to do. She lets you do her makeup the way you want it when she comes over for fun. Sometimes it happens before school and she ends up walking in with pastel pink eye lids and loads of glitter on her face. Jackie and Laura Lee think the look suits her since they’re only used to dark colors.“Pink suits you so well nat!” “thanks” 😌

Color coordinating outfits. You would wear a floral dress and she would have a floral scrunchie to match

Nat doesn’t shy away from soft readers romantic advances you’re so sweet she can’t help but let you love her. Lottie and Van poke fun at nat “you’ve really gone soft Scatorccio.” “yeah yeah whatever” 🙄

Nat isn’t scared to break a few noses if anyone takes advantage of you though and is basically your shadow, everyone knows that where you go natalie follows so any asshole know not to fuck with you.

Get’s ansty when you’re drunk, once a guy harassed you during a party after you denied his advances. Insisted he was good in bed and better than Nat in any way possible. “You’re so quiet, Nat’s got you so wound up hm, I bet I can make you come out of your shell.” TF Did she just hear?? 🤨 She was so angry after overharing him she punched him so hard he ended up getting a concussion.

After that she makes sure she has an arm wrapped around you, sometimes making you hold onto her belt loop when she can’t hold your hand.

She isn’t afraid to confront anyone that speaks badly about you “y/n is so sensitive, I bet she’s fake as hell too.” Her head spins so fast “the hell did you just say??” Pinning the idiot that said that against a locker.

You’re so sympathetic to nat’s home life, you had a feeling nat was having a hard time and your heart broke when you realized why. Nat loves how you listen to what she has to say, you hold her while she sobs after having a screaming match with her dad or how negligent her mom is towards her.

She’s also attentive to your anxieties, suggests you go somewhere quiet to relax when you’re overwhelmed, outside on the benches in the soccer field or a secret corner in the library designated for the both of you.

[romanarose]

Happy St. Patick's Day, Darl'n

DBF!Joel Miller x fem!reader

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Previous part here: Presidents Day

Summary: Joel and you navigate dating. Oh and you get drunk.

Warnings: Drinking, getting DRUNK drunk. Feelings (ew) big old age gap (2X age), mild jealous but communicating, crybaby reader. Daddy dom Joel. Joel has insecuritues but he loves reader. Reader tryna smash.

Immersivity: Reader is fem reader is 21+, dresses very feminine. Drinks and celebrates chritian holidays, not neccecarily is christian but like family and culturaly. Major age gap. Big girthy age gap. Joel can pick up reader and is taller than her. Mentions of hair with bows.

A/n: this header screams "graphic design is my passion" LMFAOOOOOO

1.1k words

“WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” You shout loudly on the street, green beer in your hand. Joel was patiently trying to get you to come home. You and him had taken a tad bit of a risk, coming out in public together but you had decided as long as you keep things chaste, you could always tell anyone who spots you both that you had ran into each other and stuck around. Problem was, now that you were drunk, your hands were wandering and Joel couldn’t lie his way out of the way you were pinching his ass.

“C’mon, hon, let’s get you home.” He tries to judge you, but the way your eyes light up makes him think you have other plans.

“Lets go to Tommy’s party!!!!”

This made Joel laugh out loud. “It’s 3 pm and you’re drunk. You’re going to be hung out by the evening already.”

“So I keep drinking and then I’ll never get hung over!” You were wearing a cute green dress and green ribbons in your hair, making you look as adorable as ever and as much as he would love to take you to Tommy and make him watch him finger you on his lap, pretty little dress spread… you needed water and bedtime. 

Joel was matching you in color only, and even that was a stretch. While you wore sea green with little flowers on your dress, Joel wore his dark green flannel. He thought you were such a mismatched couple, some of his insecurity seeped through. Seeing a girl as beautiful as you out with an old man like him… Sometimes he wondered if you were better with someone younger. Still, Joel had a good time with you. He liked watching you smile and dance, lighting up the world around you and lighting up his day.

You begin to wave down the bartender, but Joel places his hands firmly on your shoulders. “Now baby, you listen to your daddy.” He whispers in your ear so only you could hear. Your body language instantly relaxes, slipping into sub space with only a few words. “I’m going to take your home, and you are going to nap, understand?”

“Yes daddy.” You’d had fun for close to 5 hours now. It was time for his girl to get some rest.

Joel paid the hefty tab of overpriced themed drinks without a boink, left a nice tip, and then ushered you out the door.

*

Back in the comfort of your apartment, Joel was making you drink water in the kitchen as you giggled looking at your phone with a squinty eye.

“What’re yuh laughing about, sweet girl?”

“Nothing, baby, just Tommy.”

Joel stopped. Turned around. “You’re texting Tommy?”

It wasn’t that you were talking to his brother. Tommy had fucked you… but Joel was the first to admit he was a jealous man and Tommy… well, Tommy never had issues getting girls, and was a few years younger. 

“Yeah!” You show him a picture Tommy sent at his party. “See his shirt? Isn’t it funny?” Tommy wore the same shirt he’d worn since the 90’s on saint patrick's day, his Green Day shirt. Tommy lived for when people said he isn’t wearing green and he can point to the Green on his shirt. Dumbass. The shirt was falling apart, showing his skin in the rips. Maybe Joel should let him know that he was actually dating you now, and you weren’t fair game.

“It’s… so funny, baby.” When he looked up, he saw your little lip quivering and your eyes filling with water. “No, baby, don’t-” but it was too late, you were sobbing. Since dating you, actually dating you, he’d realized how true it was when your dad said you were an emotional girl. You cried… a lot. But that was okay, Joel didn’t mind helping you pick the pieces up again. He’d guard your heart for you.

“I’m s–s-s-o-r-r-yyyyyy!!”

“Oh, darl’n, c’mere” Joel pulls you into his strong safe arms. “Why’re yuh cry’n? I ain’t mad.”

“I was texting Tommy!”

You let you cry for a moment, then picked you up and sat you on his counter. Firm but gentle, he took your face in his hands. “Look at me now, pretty girl.” He waited until your sad eyes met his. “You don’t gotta apologize for that.”

“It’s just friendly, I promise!”

“It’s alri-”

“He’s your brother and I care about you so I care about your family!”

Joel squeezed your cheeks until you stopped talking, his eyes intense on yours. “I don’t care that you’re texting Tommy. I watched him fuck you, and he’s known you as long as I have. I trust you, and if you want to have sex with him again, I know you’ll just talk to me.” Letting go, Joel kissed your lips, tasting the frilly alcohol. “You’re mine.” He thumbed a stray tear away.

You look up at him, still a little stressed. “I’ve been accused of cheating. A lot. I never ever have! Ever!”

“I believe you.”

“It’s just… other guys… if I didn’t want to have sex or spent too much time with my friends or family or was laughing at my phone and… I dunno… I might be a little defensive…”

Joel did not like that one bit. “Darl’n, I’m sorry that happened.” He took your face in his large hands. “I ain’t ever gonna make you feel bad for not wanting to have sex, and I love that you have great friends and family. I happen to like your family a lot too.” He winks, a nod to how you met. “And I’m glad Tommy makes you laugh, because I like watching you laugh. ‘M sorry for acting grumpy.”

Finally you smiled again, reaching your arms up. “I like that you’re grumpy. My grumpy old man.”

Joel swatted your ass and called you a brat.

*

“JOOOOOOEEEELLL!!!” You whine in bed, kissing him and grinding yourself against his hip. Although he gave you sweet kisses, he kept pulling your hands away your you tried to undo his belt. “Come oooooooon!!!”

“Nuh-uh” He said firmly. “You were about to pass out while I brushed your teeth. Go to bed, I’ll fuck you when you’re not drunk off you ass.” Although judging how much you dran

You begin sobbing again. He didn’t even know if you knew why this time.

“Oohhhhh no.” Joel chastises, but pulls you onto him so he could hold you. “None of that. Hush now…. Hush…” Joel rubs your back in your soft warm PJ’s. 3 seconds later, you’re snoring on top of him.

“Happy St. Patrick's Day, Darl’n”

COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT!!!

I'm watching love is blind and... jesus Christ XD

up next is technically easter but im kinda starkly aware we've established reader celebrated christian holidays and im like what if i spice it up? what if their friend invited them to purim? bc I love Purim and i wanna see Joel in a costume LMFAOOOO

love you guys!!!!

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring

[hockeygossipunhinged]

https://www.tumblr.com/hockeygossipunhinged/753189402959822848/anon-who-posted-the-stuff-youve-heard-about-jack

i haven’t really heard things about quinn mainly cause he’s older and went to michigan when i was still in high school but from what i heard he’s the more serious guy when it comes to relationships wants the white picket fence golden retriever dog 3 kids perfect family and thinks more of the do i see a future with this person being my future wife now but he wasn’t a stranger to hooking up as we all occasionally do in college but sorry im closer in age to luke to put things on perspective but i haven’t heard any bad stories about him everyone always says he’s nice and respectful and no girls give him dirty faces when they see him unlike his brother

the things i’ve heard about luke are very hard due to him being very reserved when talking to girls and me being more friends with guys than girls but here’s everything i’ve heard through the grape vine:

-jack flirting with girls that he likes causing him to be insecure when it comes to talking and interacting with girls

-very very awkward and isn’t good at hiding it

-he only talks to the boys on the team when at parties he’d always be in arms reach which have led him to third wheel or be stuck in awkward conversation with the girls friends that according to my friend he looked absolutely miserable and was answering with um yeah idk basic filler words

-i saw this one with my own eyes and i felt terrible but two people were making out and when the guy pressed up against her she fell back onto him pinning him between a corner and a crowd of people for like 5 seconds he looked like he wanted to kill himself

-from what i’ve heard is he’s not into the big party scene and would rather stay home his teammates usually drag him out and sometimes he has fun and dances on the sidelines and other times he’s just waiting for the time to go down

-really doesn’t get drunk like has one or two beers to get a little buzz but nothing bad at least right now since he’s not 21 yet

-he dose hook up but not with many girls and is very straight up about this only being sexual and nothing serious he’s very sweet about sex like always asking if this is okay how the girl is feeling and they always leave pleased he’s no professional though still bonks girls in the head but we’ve all been their

-is awkward though like really awkward my girlfriends friend said she had to take over cause the awkwardness was turning her off but size wise big like 7 or 8 inches (and i believe her cause this girl has stopped a almost hookup when she wasn’t pleased with his size was)

-i haven’t heard any girls complaining about how long he lasts as they do for jack all they say is they wish he wasn’t as nervous and didn’t overthink it

-i’ve heard he chats on snap,insta and even sometimes messages but mainly snap and insta

-heard this from his teammates mouth chirping him about being a hopeless romantic and stills never had a girlfriend and he just turned red and did an awkward smile and the girl his teammate was with was like “you’ll find her someday”

-he’s very very reserved though and only talks about hockey and movies mainly just comedy’s but if you really want to get him talking just talk about all the food places around campus that you think serve the best food and he’ll debate you on it

-i’m more friends with guys though and thats all i’ve heard from my girlfriends friends but from guys its brutal and it comes off more jealousy than anything but they all say he’s secretly gay and they are obsessed obsessed with his private area( which as a lesbian gay as hell) but that’s only cause one of them dated a girl who’s hooked up with luke and they probably heard he was huge too

-they said he probably pays girls to say that and and they were like no way he has anything more than 4 inches i have no clue why guys care about other men’s junk but you know men always insecure about the man before them.

but that’s basically it he seems like a sweetheart and hopefully he finds someone that’ll be interested for him and not his brother

Reminder all of these are allegedlys and rumors so dont take as seriously pls

More on Quinn, Jack and Luke. Thanks anon

[writerblue275]

Heartsteel Ranking: “Scary boyfriend privilege”

(AKA how intimidating they are to people who don’t know them.)

Inspiration: I’ll be honest this is a bit of a random ranking but I thought it would be fun to do and it was!

Champions: Heartsteel

Genre: Ranking

Type: Fluff? This is meant in a funny way.

Tw: Small mention of alcohol (drink responsibly y’all), and swearing (because I do, in fact, have the mouth of a damn sailor.)

List goes least intimidating to most intimidating.

LEAST

Ezreal (One of these days I will do a ranking that doesn’t put him at the bottom! I swear it’s not intentional! 😂)

Let’s be honest no one is shocked he’s here, right? Where else was Ez going to go on this list?? This isn’t a bad thing though! He just gives off such golden retriever energy and it’s amazing and I love him. I want to be at least best friends with HS Ezreal.

Despite the usual happy golden retriever energy, he’s definitely not afraid to tell people off/protect you though. (I feel like he secretly has quite a temper. He’s a Sagittarius after all [love my fellow 🔥 signs WOOT WOOT]. Usually he’s very good about keeping it under control…but if someone [besides you, he absolutely adores you] pushes him too far [ex: by making you uncomfortable]…just see what happens.)

Aphelios

You absolutely have scary boyfriend privilege with Aphelios, but I just can’t rank him higher than any of the other members below. He definitely has that “brooding silent type” down pat, and when he’s wearing his mask, that’s doubled. That air of mystery, baby, he’s got that in SPADES.

We also know he’s tall. Like not Sett, K’Sante, or Yone tall, but he’s got some height on him (unconfirmed 6’). Physically, he’s definitely more intimidating than Ez. Like imagine Phel silently staring daggers at someone. Lmao I’d hate to be whoever pissed him off.

K’Sante

Most of this comes from his height (unconfirmed 6’4”) and the fact he’s one of the gym bros. Like general vibe/personality-wise, I think Phel could be more-intimidating than K’Sante (or even Sett), but have you seen how just MASSIVE K’Sante is? HE CAN CANONICALLY BENCH SETT. Like 😮😮😮

Not to mention I feel like he’d always stick close to you in public, so no one would even dream of trying to do anything to you. (Unless they’re a whole dumbass.) K’Sante genuinely gives me very kind vibes, but he definitely protects those he loves very fiercely.

Sett

Sett is (unconfirmed) 6’7” (at least confirmed the tallest in the group), and JACKED AS HELL. Not to mention “allergic” to sleeves so those arms are out most of the time lmao. Only a fucking moron (or someone who is incredibly drunk) would look at Settrigh and go “oh yeah I am absolutely going to mess with this guy.” RIP that idiot.

He also doesn’t fuck around about the safety of the people he loves. Sett genuinely seems like the sweetest guy (I love this giant, ripped, sewing himbo so fucking much oh my fucking god) but he can/will be intentionally intimidating if it’s necessary to keep you or Ma safe (the two most important figures in his life 🥺). Will walk you home/keep you close to him in crowded situations. He always wants you to feel safe when you’re with him (you absolutely do like how could you not?).

Kayn

So this is based on both appearance and reputation. Obviously Kayn has quite the reputation from his last band (as well as being kicked out of it.) Appearance-wise, he’s not super tall, but he’s tall enough. Not to mention the piercings, tattoos, the fact he’s also in excellent shape (I mean we all saw those abs 😏), has vibrant dyed hair, a very bright red eye, and he is a total metal head. He can also, um, travel through WALLS. (Small detail lol.)

DO I EVEN HAVE TO MENTION RHAAST (even as his stage alter ego)???? Kayn can be pretty impulsive and sometimes acts first, thinks later. (He’s currently working on that with Yone, it’s fine.) Someone would be a damn fool to fuck with him or you. He just gives me very loyal guard dog vibes. (I mean he did wear the damn leash in the mv so….😝)

Yone

There is no one (let me repeat: NO ONE) I’d want to fuck with less than Yone. This man has quintessential resting bitch face (RBF), is like 6’ 2-3” (unconfirmed), in very good shaped (based on the lovely titty window of his outfit. Thank you, Riot designers) and is able to (mostly) wrangle the rest of the group. Also (hella obvious but) HE’S AN INTROVERT (INFJ specifically). People are NOT his thing (fucking MOOD).

Yone is the one who gives the most similar vibes to the TikToks I’ve seen that show cosplayers at Cons with their scarier-dressed friends/partners following behind them keeping them safe. (For Yone, it’s the RBF/air of mystery that really sets the tone.) He gives me such mature gentleman vibes as well. He’s always going to walk you home especially at night, or he’ll stay by your side in a crowd and you are just going to feel really safe with him. Top-tier scary boyfriend privilege right there.

Most

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Ok so the least and most intimidating were extremely obvious to me. It was everyone else in between that made things difficult. This was really fun to write though, even if the concept is a bit silly! 😂

[honey-flustered]

Too Quiet (Fluff)

YoungDad!Steve Harrington x YoungMom!Reader

Summary: You and Steve finally get a moment of peace until you’re reminded that you’re parents of two rambunctious toddlers and a puppy. Sometimes, quiet’s never a good sign.

A/N: This fluffy thought came to me because I have a toddler niece and whenever she gets quiet we know she’s never up to any good. This also goes out to the parents who just need a little break from time to time. (Note: this has also been in my drafts for so long)

Word: 1.6k+

You appreciated the mundane. Boring can be good sometimes. Like for instance, neither you or Steve had any work that needed to be done. No errands, no chores, no 8-12-16 hour shifts. It was just a simple day where the two of you got to relax.

You found yourselves so comfortable, in fact, you hadn’t recognized that you were laid on the couch with your back against his chest, scrolling on your phone until he randomly cleared his throat.

You jolt up, looking back at him. “Whoa! When’d you get here?”

He looks up from his book, reading glasses slipping to the bridge of his nose. “I sacrifice my need to get up and pee for like 2 hours just to be your body pillow. My legs are asleep.”

You roll yourself around, facing him and wrapping your arms around his neck, “I’m sorry I’ve ignored you. It’s just so nice having these moments of downtime.”

He kisses your nose. “I understand, love. I’m really glad we don’t always have to talk to enjoy each other’s company. I like the comfortable silence.”

“Me too,” You grin. “Sometimes, I don’t always want to talk. Sometimes, I just want to scroll through my phone or eat a whole pot of mac ‘n’ cheese all by myself without the necessary judgment.”

“Weird way of bringing that up…but I get it.” Steve chuckles. “And you know what—since we’re throwing things out there—I’m so over people believing that being ‘boring’ is synonymous to being ‘old’. I mean, if I prefer staying home over going to parties it doesn’t mean I’m not still King Steve.”

“Exactly! Boring is the new fun! Like vanilla sex…it isn’t so bad.”

“It’s fantastic! We don’t always need the theatrics. It’s just so extra to have freaky sex all the time. Um, waiter, I’d like vanilla sex with a side of missionary please.”

You snort at his dorkiness. “I have to admit that I don’t always care to drink when we go out. I don’t always want to be a tipsy ditz all the time. Sometimes when I’m out with my friends, they make me feel bad about ordering just wine so I just lie and say that I’m drinking vodka when it’s only water in my glass. I’m just really good at pretending I’m drunk.”

“You’re goddamn Meryl Streep and Viola Davis combined when you act drunk, baby. I could use some pointers. I don’t always want to drink either but the boys…” Steve groans. “It’s always ‘Steve, chug down this beer’ and never ‘Steve, would you like some chamomile tea.’ I don’t drink tea but I just might start if someone offers me.”

“I’d offer you since you’re taking interest. Would you like me to make you some now?”

“Maybe later,” Steve curls his arms around you tight. “I like talking about being boring with you.”

“Yeah, I could be boring with you all the time. Like if I decided to crochet some shit for the hell of it, you wouldn’t judge.”

“Course I wouldn’t. I think you’d be the best crocheter ever and that’s saying a lot because there are a lot of great ones out there. I know this because I watched a youtube tutorial of crochet making…in full. I don’t plan to make a not one piece but I watched it anyway because I had time,” Steve shrugs. “And sometimes, even when I have plenty of time, I don’t always feel like styling my hair.”

You gasp, putting a hand to your chest. “Not the hair!”

“I can be too cool for cool.” He smiles smugly.

“I wanna wear a oversized clothes.” You rush out.

“You deserve it! I’ve seen the kind of clothes you’ve had to wear. Super tight. Not that it’s a bad thing, of course. I don’t always wanna dress in the latest fashion either.”

“I hate going to the beach nowadays. I get sand in all of my crevices and I end up finding sand around the house even weeks after.”

“I hate driving too fast.”

“I like gardening.”

“I like socks with sandals.”

“I’ve been leaning into buying those portraits with the words on them that say things like “home is where the heart is” or some corny thing like that”

“Eww, you mean the ‘live, laugh, love’ crap,” He laughs. “I’m sorry but we’re not that old.”

“Oh, please, I’m sure you’ve got worse.”

Steve thinks for a moment. “I guess I’ve always wanted to ask an employee if they’re working hard or hardly working.”

“Oh, nooo!” You cringe. “That’s horrible. Do you want them to hate you?”

“Alright, so I’m that kind of old, too.” He admits defeat.

“I think mom jeans aren’t as bad as everyone makes them to be.”

“I think dad jokes are the epitome of comedy and I’ve brushed up on some.”

“Ooo, tell me one!” You beam excitedly.

“Okay. What do you call a nose with no body?”

“What?”

“Nobody knows."

You both join in laughter which soon dies down when the gears in each of your heads began to turn. The two of you stare in space, speechless and reflective of the conversation.

“Although, it is a bit quiet,” You say, breaking the silence. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, too quiet.”

“Not boring, though.”

“No, not boring. It’s a good boring if it is. But it’s like…something’s missing. Like we’re forgetting something important.”

“Or someone important?”

“Some…ones…” Steve says in a reflective tone, then his eyes bug out and so do yours as you come to the same realization.

The two of you exchanged looks and simultaneously yell. “Our babies?!”

The two of you jump up from the couch and heading in any direction the two believed the boys were in. You checked the pantry, he checked in the bottom cabinets. He checked the in the boys closet, you checked underneath the bed.

“How could have forgotten about them for two hours?!” Steve exclaims. “We’re terrible people! They’re literally all the reasons why we’re so old and boring now so how can we have forgotten?!”

“They’ve handled themselves just fine alone, babe.” You say trying to comfort him.

“You and I both know that when it gets quiet it’s never a good sign. They’re like Max from Max and Ruby and you know how sociopathic that bunny could be. Little Baby Blue hasn’t barked in 2 hours either. What could they have possibly done to him?” Steve says while running his hands through his hair.

The sounds of giggling from the master bedroom is enough to shake you and Steve to your core. The boys were for sure in there and possibly doing something that will cost you a lot of money to repair.

“For all we know they’ve just created armagedon in there,” You say, darting your eyes between the bedroom door and Steve. “Whatever happens, whatever we see…we must prepare ourselves. Some things may be damaged beyond repair and most likely there will be a lot of cleaning up to do…but we mustn’t take out our anger on the children. They’re children who are simply practicing their exploration and discovery skills.”

“Easy for you to say. You weren’t the one who found your game console submerged in a toilet bowl,” He clutches his chest. “You don’t know my pain.”

You groan, hearing more laughter from the boys. “What do think it is this time? Paint on the walls? The forbidden mudpie cake? Fisher Price Guillotine?”

“I don’t know. That’s the terrifying part. They always come up with the darnedest things,” Steve holds out his hand. “Hold it please, I’m not ready for this horror show.”

You swallow hard, taking his hand. Opening the masters bedroom, you see the twins with their thumbs in their mouths watching Saturday cartoons on the large bed. Little Baby Blue is wedged between the boys, relaxing as they both pet him with their free hands. Their eyes immediately dart to the two of you standing in the doorway like you’d just interrupted a nice moment.

“Mommy.” Oslo smiles and runs up to you.

“Daddy!” Bear runs into Steve’s arms.

“My boys,” You say in relief. “Mommy and Daddy are so sorry for not checking on you. We were very, very tired.”

“Das kay, mommy,” Oslo says, snuggling into your tummy. “Blue’s here with us.”

“Blue even gave us some things to eat.” Bear points to one side of the bed which was full of snacks from the pantry.

“I was wonderful where the Oreos went.” Steve says.

You pet Blue. “That’s a good boy! Maybe next time go for the healthier options in the fridge.” The dog huff and you raise your hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll cut you some slack. I know how hard it is watching two toddlers.”

“I’m going to whip us up some lunch and then we’ll go to the park for family fun day. How’s that sound, boys?” Steve says.

The boys jump up and down excitedly with Steve hyping up their mood. “Ok, but you have to go and get ready real quick. Think you two can do that like the big boys you are?”

“Yes!” They shout at once.

“Go on then after come down for the famous Harrington men’s sandwich.”

The boys run out of the room, Blur chasing after them.

You lean in to whisper to your husband, still in shock. “Everything’s neat. The boys were actually angels the entire day. Thanks to babysitter Blue.”

“I guess those two were having a relaxed day, too.” Steve quips.

Oslo enters the room, tugging your sweater. “Mommy, can you help me find my favorite sho”

“You mean the light up ones?”

Oslo nods and you take his hand, “Come on, we’ll look together.”

“Then, I’ll help Bear get dressed. We’re going to beat you guys!” Steve teases.

You all laugh enjoying the friendly competition. Although, you enjoyed the times where things get quiet. You couldn’t trade the moments of chaos and fun with your family for the world.

[ghost-bxrd]

What do you headcanon as AU careers for Dick?

I don't much like the idea of Dick as a cop (in Wayne Family Adventures I'm pretty sure they never explicitly mention his job, so I'm gonna pretend he's not a cop there)

Gymnastics instructor seems to be a popular choice in most of the Happy Dick and Nice Batfam AUs and it sounds in character... Except his night job related injuries would be difficult to hide.

Neither Fae nor Talon Dick are likely to have the kind of falling out with Bruce which led to Dick striking out on his own, so they will likely never have the worry about earning their own living. Bruce would no doubt be willing and eager to give them cushy jobs with the WE, or they can just treat Superhero-ing as their full time job. But still, I think they will want an independent, non-nepo baby job.

I like the idea of Dick as a CPS worker, or just with social services in general. He'll be great with traumatized kids, has so much experience both first and second hand to draw on.

And if Fae Dick is with CPS... Well. The lore about fae stealing children is well known, but less well known is the lore that fae steal neglected children.

Now, that can simply be the predator going after the vulnerable, but it can also be in some stories the fae see humans refusing to take care of the children properly and getting their adoption instincts triggered Bruce Wayne style, taking them away from the parents who don't deserve them to a better life.

CPS takes neglected and abused children away from the parents who don't deserve them, to a better life.

Love the idea of a fae as a CPS worker, getting official sanction and human cooperation to do his traditional job :)

It depends on the Au!

I’m very flexible with what I read as long as the author manages to fit it into the story in a plausible and believable way. Like with the Titans TV series where it establishes very early on that Dick is rather feral and not as opposed to murder as Bruce *cough*

But over all I do agree that him being a cop doesn’t check out most of the time since most comics (at least from what I’ve read, so take that with a grain of salt. My comic knowledge is like— 3% if we’re being generous lol.) depict him as being very opposed to using firearms, and to killing. And cops have to carry guns to protect themselves and others, and sometimes also shoot people. So yeah I don’t know.

And acrobatics instructor actually isn’t such a bad idea imo! Yeah there are some pretty revealing suits out there. But if we go with what Dick is wearing in Gotham Knights in between missions it could totally work out! He’d still have to be careful tho, obviously. But honestly I don’t think people will look too closely at someone who does potentially dangerous sports as a living and comes in with a black eye or a broken arm or something.

CPS sounds like a very fun idea tho! Espiecally in regards to Fae Dick! He’s got a soft spot for children and their wide eyed wonder. And kids aren’t nearly as frightened of him if they happen to catch a glimpse of other either. So yeah, perfect!

But now I’m also thinking of the Pied Piper of Hamelin tale, because I can totally see Dick leading a gaggle of kids through the streets and out of harms way if there’s ever a Gotham wide catastrophe going on… hmmmm

Other than that I could also see Dick as someone who takes a job leading and organizing multiple charities (sponsored by Wayne Enterprises) and rising through the Gotham Elite. It would help his vigilante cover (poor and dumb Richie Wayne, always drunk and being scandalous, just like his guardian) while also serving the ulterior motive of rooting out corruption.

Idk that last one’s just a thought (cuz I love good rich people playing other bad rich people and causing their downfall… eh.)

[honeypiehotchner]

man after midnight (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Happy New Year! I had this idea on NYE when I remembered I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss lol. Here’s to Hotch giving us a New Year’s kiss instead 🥰

Summary: The team goes out for a New Year’s Eve party and it ends in the best way possible.

Warnings: mostly none, besides alcohol consumption (be responsible!), otherwise pure fluff to start out the new year right :))

WC: ~1.9k

All you did was mention once that you have never gone to a New Year’s Eve party, and look where you’ve ended up.

At a karaoke bar on December 31st with your entire team from the BAU — even Hotch.

It’s different having Hotch here too. You’ve gone out with Derek, Emily, JJ, Penelope, and sometimes Spencer and Rossi before, but never Hotch. You’ve always been grateful for Hotch not partaking in the team outings because he does not need to see you drunk. You start talking too freely and spilling secrets.

It’s how the girls found out about your crush on Hotch. Thank god Derek was in the restroom when you said it. He’d tease you relentlessly. The girls do, but not in front of Hotch, like you know Derek would.

Needless to say, you’re watching your alcohol intake — and the table of profilers is noticing.

“Are you feeling alright, momma?” Derek asks with a nudge to your arm.

“Hm? What? Yeah, why?” You try to cover your nerves with a grin, but it doesn’t work.

Hotch is across the table from you, talking with Rossi, directly in your line of sight, and it’s unnerving. Hotch just had to wear his black button up tonight, the one you love to see him in. You practically drooled the first time he wore it. That was embarrassing when Emily caught you staring.

“Something’s bothering you,” Derek says. He gestures to your glass of wine. “You’ve been nursing that for an hour.”

He’s right, and you’ve barely had half the glass. You desperately don’t want to make a fool of yourself, not in front of Hotch. You’re already doing karaoke later. That’s enough, right?

Apparently it isn’t, because Emily comes back to the table with the bartender in tow. “We’re doing shots!” she announces. “Everyone — even you two!” She points to Rossi and Hotch with a stern look.

Hotch tries to fight her on it, but the bartender still pours him a shot. You reluctantly take yours. It’s a slippery slope once you start doing shots, but if everyone is doing them, you might as well.

“On three, we clink,” Penelope says, grinning. “Ready?”

You can’t help but watch Hotch standing across from you. He smiles warily at you and tips his shot glass in a tiny salute of solidarity. He has looked nervous this whole night, too, but he never goes out. He’s so far out of his comfort zone.

“One, two, three!” Everyone toasts and taps the shot on the table before tossing it back.

It’s far too smooth going down. Warm, barely there, and you’re useless when it comes to resisting a second. And third.

“Okay, we should slow down,” Spencer says. You’re surprised he did all three. “If we want to maximize our—”

“Kid, kid,” Derek cuts him off with a laugh. “Quit doing statistics. Let loose.”

“I am loose. I just had three shots!”

They bicker back and forth for a few moments and you watch on with a smile, floating from the quick succession of shots. Thank god you weren’t tipsy before doing those.

You catch Hotch’s eyes across the table and widen your smile, almost involuntarily. He smiles back, and moves to come over to you.

Shit shit shit. The shots were fun, you feel slightly less anxious, but you can’t talk to him like this. You’ll say something ridiculous! Like how handsome he looks tonight, how sexy he looked taking those shots, how—

“How are you?” Hotch asks, whiskey glass in hand. He ordered a double and has been taking his time with it.

“Good,” you reply, blinking too quickly. He’s closer than you thought. Or maybe that’s just the alcohol. “How are you doing? You don’t normally come out for these things.”

He laughs a little. “Definitely not my usual Saturday night,” he says.

“Wait ‘til we start singing,” you blurt. “Then it really gets crazy.” You remember the one time Derek started essentially stripping onstage before Penelope drug him off. And the time Spencer sang “My Heart Will Go On” in the most screeching voice ever, just to make Derek lose his mind.

“I bet,” Hotch smiles. “Will you be singing?”

“Me?” you buffer, letting out a weak laugh. “Oh, I don’t— I mean, maybe, I’d need a song. I don’t have a go-to like everyone else.”

He shrugs. “I’m sure you’ll find something.” He takes a sip of his whiskey, smirking around the glass.

“You little shit!” you blurt. “You just want to see me look ridiculous!”

“Me? No, never.”

“Unbelievable,” you scoff playfully, picking up your wine glass. You’re this far gone, might as well go all in with everyone else. “Are you gonna sing?”

Ha! Gotcha! you think as his cheeks redden. “No,” he stammers, laughing. “I don’t sing.”

“Karaoke isn’t about being a good singer.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No buts,” you shake your head. “Pick a song, Hotchner. You’re singing.”

Emily eyes you two curiously and moves closer to JJ and Spencer. Conveniently, everyone has split into little groups, leaving you alone with Hotch. And you can’t help yourself.

It doesn’t help that he’s drinking just as much alcohol. His cheeks are beginning to have a permanent red tint. His smile is wider. He leans toward you when he talks. You’re a goner when he orders more whiskey for himself and another wine for you, knowing the exact kind you’re drinking despite not being here yet when you first ordered.

“Is this your first New Year’s Eve party?” you ask him, speaking over the current karaoke singer.

“First in a longgg time,” he says. “You?”

“First ever.”

“No. Really?”

“Really really.”

“Not even in college?”

“I wasn’t exactly popular enough in college to get invited out,” you laugh. “I bet you went to all of them.”

“No,” he shakes his head, but you know he’s fibbing. “Just some. I mean, my friends made me—”

“You so were popular in college!” you lean into him and shove his shoulder. “My god. Aaron Hotchner, the popular kid. Were you in a fraternity? Please say no. I don’t wanna know. No, right?”

He grins. “I wasn’t.”

You deflate from relief. “Thank god.”

“Have you picked a song yet?”

“Have you?”

“No, I’ve been busy,” he says with a shrug. “What’s your excuse?”

“I’ve also been busy.”

“With what?”

“I dunno. Ask the guy who’s been flirting with me for the past hour.”

He raises his eyebrows and you sober up for exactly one moment, scolding yourself. You did not just accuse your boss of flirting with you. Absolutely not. You’re a ridiculous mess of a fool.

Instead of telling you you’ve got it all wrong and apologizing for the mixed signals, Hotch only moves closer. “I’ll have a word with him, don’t worry.”

Oh god. You’re going to melt into the floor. He’s practically touching you and god you want him to.

As soon as the two of you have been staring into each other’s eyes for too long to be deemed friendly, the rest of the group reappears to discuss karaoke songs.

Somehow, you’re shoved onstage with Emily, JJ, and Penelope to sing “Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!” by ABBA. You’re not even aware of what you’ve agreed to until the music starts, and the girls have mischievous grins on their faces.

You mainly focus on the girls to keep your nerves down while you sing, but soon you get the courage to look out into the audience. And Hotch is already looking at you.

As the chorus comes up, you decide to keep his gaze, hoping some switch will flip. It’s obvious both of you want a move to be made. Who will make it is still to be seen.

Once your song finishes, Derek drags Spencer onstage for one. You return to your spot by Hotch, right up against him, and he welcomes your presence, wrapping an arm loosely around your shoulders. If he wasn’t there for you to lean against, you would’ve melted into the floor.

“He’s really good,” you whisper, but you know it comes out louder than it should. You’re far too tipsy to whisper.

“Not as good as you were up there,” Aaron whispers back, leaning his head down so his lips are by your ear. It sends a shiver down your spine.

“Are you gonna get up there?”

He laughs, shaking his head, and he pulls you closer. “No, no I’m not.”

“Asshole,” you laugh, smacking his chest. “Well, I’m glad you came. Tonight. It’s been nice having you here.” You lean your head on his chest where you smacked him. His heart beats fast. “Why don’t you ever come out?”

You feel him shrug. “I didn’t know if I was welcome.”

You tilt your head upwards. “Really?” He nods. “Come on, Hotch, you’re always welcome.”

He looks down at you and smiles. He doesn’t say anything, but he pulls you closer, as if he can, leaving you to wrap your arms around his waist.

A few more songs are done before it’s five minutes to midnight, and the countdown is on the TV. Penelope finds her way into Morgan’s arms, of course, and the others are readying their shots.

“You know,” you start, glancing up at him. “I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”

Hotch chuckles, looking down at you. “Well, we’ll have to fix that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” he nods, shifting to wrap his arms around you better, resting his hands on your hips. “If you want to.”

“Of course I want to,” you blurt, maybe a little too quickly. “Sorry, yes. Yes, I’d like to.”

“Don’t apologize,” he grins.

You rest your hands on his arms, taking him in. Thank god for the alcohol, otherwise you’d be too aware of the team standing not that far from you. You’ll both hear about this tomorrow, definitely, but right now you’re not worried about that.

The countdown draws closer, 30 seconds more. 30 seconds of staring at each other, wondering if this will actually happen.

And it does, because he’s been wanting to do this for months, but never had the right time -- or the courage. Or the hint that you felt the same way. You’re far better at composing yourself than he is. He has no idea how you haven’t seen him blushing and fumbling his words.

“Now or never,” you joke, as it gets down to 10 seconds. “If you want to.”

“Of course I do,” Aaron echoes you from earlier. “Come here.”

The clock strikes midnight and your hands fall into place on either side of Aaron’s face. You both sigh into the kiss, a long time coming, and perfect now that it’s here. Cheers for the new year erupt all around the two of you as you stay in each other’s embrace, stealing kiss after kiss, not wanting the moment to end.

Derek Morgan’s infamous whistle breaks through the noise, leaving you and Hotch in a mess of laughter.

“Took you long enough, boss man!” Morgan yells, despite Penelope playfully swatting at him to stop.

“I agree,” you tease, tilting your gaze back up at Aaron. “Took you long enough.”

He laughs, and steals another kiss through your grin.

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

I can't stop thinking about that one-night-stand stucky fic you wrote where they meet at a bar and bucky is stuffing his fat belly full of food and steve is filling his own fat belly full of alcohol, and i can't stop thinking about them meeting months later and they're just absolutely massive, their guts (and the rest of them) even bigger than the last time they saw each other, and in that time their hobbies have gotten even worse. I imagine that Bucky always needs to be full and heavy and tight and so he carries around snacks and things wherever he goes, and steve always needs to be sloshy and drunk and gravid so he carries around those little aeroplane-sized bottles of alcohol to top him off whenever he feels like he needs a re-up, and i think that if they decided to do more than a one-night-stand the next time they meet and appreciate how badly the two of them have been consumed by their gluttony and their desires, i think they could be so good for each other, bucky always making sure steve has a steady supply of alcohol and beer to make his belly constantly sloshy and his head constantly empty, steve to ensure that bucky has enough food to keep his gut stuffed and full... i don't know, i think you've ruined me, i love it....

One night stand stucky

Oh, yeah, their “hobbies.” I don’t think getting drunk (actually drunk or just food drunk) counts as a hobby but… that’s cute. We can pretend that it counts to indulge them and ourselves. Besides, Lord knows both Bucky and Steve think of their respective bad habit of filling themselves up to the brim as hobbies, hobbies that are so pleasurable and all-consuming that they just can’t stop. Isn’t the point of a hobby for it to be something that you find enjoyable and can spend your leisure time doing? It’s so goddamn hot for both of them, it feels so good to be filled up to the point of heavy, round bellies leaving them beached that they lose track of time. Time flies when you’re having fun. And, oops, exactly like you said, it spirals out into their daily lives. They can’t help themselves! Their hobbies are just so fun, why would they ever want to do anything else?��

Stucky belly kink under the read more. Warnings for alcohol consumption/intox kink, stuffing, semi-public sex acts (but in the feedism way), weight gain, mutual gaining, etc.

So, Steve has miniature bottles of booze with him all the time. Every hour of every day, no matter where he is. Those little bottles that he can easily sip from, covert, or sometimes, he just says fuck it and brings flasks or water bottles to have with him as he goes out and about. There’s only so much those little bottles can do when he’s working with the fat keg that is his distended, hard gut. Sips don’t fill him up, he needs chugs and chugs. Steve doesn’t fucking know what to do with himself if he’s not sloshing and so full that he has to burp, desperately trying to relieve some of that straining pressure, otherwise he might pop. If he isn’t sweating and panting from overfullness, he feels lost, more lost than he does when he’s drunk as shit.

Steve waddles around all day thinking of two things: when can he get more booze than just those airplane bottles and when can he get out of his fucking clothes, they’re so tight and rubbing his stretched itchy skin. He just wants to spread out on his couch in front of the huge TV in his apartment, pounding beers, gut bulging into his lap, weighing heavily down on his thighs, and dropping between his thighs. It’s so big these days with its mass keeping him pinned in place unless it’s an emergency (re: unless he runs out of drinks).

More than airplane bottles, flasks, and water bottles, Steve even considers buying one of those wine bra things, he’s already got quite the rack going, the alcohol going somewhere other than his gut (finally), so it wouldn’t make a huge difference right? Actually, he could probably get away with a camelback, right? His gut makes his spine arch so far forward, dragged by the weight pinned onto his front and barely balanced by his growing ass, that it wouldn’t be that noticeable. He could fill one of those up with alcohol and go to town anywhere anytime, wouldn’t that be the fucking dream? Steve’s chunky, heavy body shivers just thinking about it. 

Meanwhile, Bucky has snacks - snacks on snacks on snacks. At first, when he starts to himself go, first allowing himself to leave the house during the day so packed that he has pit stains and crescent moons under his flabby tits, exhausted by the effort of dragging his belly everywhere with him, so heavy, he’s shameful enough to just slip a few protein and candy bars in his pockets alongside loose change that he knows he’s just going to end up using for vending machines wherever he can find them, exchanging the cold, hard coins for sugary, fatty goodness that will be gone in too few bites. Quickly, he loses his shame, though. It sheds from him in bits and pieces.

He carries snacks in his pockets but as he outgrows his pants, the room in his pockets is hit by his widening hips and thicker thighs - not to even mention his ass, dear god - so he buys himself a purse. Nothing huge. Just a little bag to have “emergency” snacks to tide him over between meals of impressive size. Then, when his little snack-stuffed purse (bulging and heavy just like Bucky himself) isn’t enough, he reverts to his college years, albeit with the weight of an entire ‘nother person on his frame, carrying a backpack with him everywhere. This time around, there are no books, planners, or even a laptop in his bag. He fills his snack backpack moderately at first, but it doesn’t last because, of course, it doesn’t. If Bucky understood moderation, he would’ve ended up perverting the lean, athletic build that he spent so long procuring in high school and college into an excessive, wide, heavy body that’s so plush it’s hard to believe. Bucky wastes hours fresh out of the shower investigating himself as the weight piles on, poking and prodding and pinching his fat, his rolls thick and sliding together hotly, it’s so hard to believe the whale he’s turned himself into. He’s such a needy, big whale that his backpack gets too heavy when he drags it around throughout the day. He huffs and puffs and sweats worse than before, lugging all his snacks around. He tells himself that he can get relief from the weight by eating his snacks faster, no problem! Every bite makes the load lighter, right? But, really, if he stopped to actually think for once, he would easily realize that it does nothing of the sort. It evens out.

The hours pass and Bucky’s backpack gets lighter as he munches, sure, but his belly just gets heavier and heavier to compensate. All those empty, unneeded calories go somewhere. 

Bucky moans to himself and squeezes (exaggeratedly… for now) through his apartment door to come home after a full day of eating. He’s supposedly working and taking a few snack breaks, but… as he’s lost control and shame, it’s more like he’s eating with the occasional work break. As he comes home after his hard day’s labor of stuffing his face, all Bucky can think about is how the weight of his backpack nearly pulled him over this morning when he snagged it on the way out, unprepared to pick it up with how out of shape he’s gotten. It was that heavy and now? It’s all in his gut now. Picturing his soft, empty, flabby belly in the mirror that morning, Bucky considers how it would look if he put his snack-pack on backward with the heavy, filled bag over his belly… God. It would stick out so far. It’d make him look so round. And, considering that his backpack is empty now, that’s how fat he’s gotten over the course of the day. 

Fuck. 

Steve swells like beer poured into a glass without being tilted, fizzing, foaming, reaching the rim of the glass, and almost overflowing. Steve’s fat is getting softer the more he gets of it, but he’s still so dense and firm. Yet, Bucky rises like proofed bread dough, all rounded with rolls escaping the sides of the pan and flowing over. Bucky’s fat is so exorbitantly soft. He’s squishy, really like bread dough, Bucky often finds himself kneading his plush body - he just can’t get enough.  

This time, when the two gaining, ripening men see each other again, they meet at a grocery store, bumping into each other all those months and pounds later with nothing to dull the impact. In the broad light of day, there are no flashing club lights, no writhing bodies (mostly thin and scantily clad, but just as sweaty as the two overpacked fatties still shoving more in their greedy, moaning mouths), and no pounding music to hide behind. There’s nothing but the evidence of their indulgence on complete display.

Steve is swaying through the alcohol section, debating between different kinds of wine - who’s he kidding, though? He’s going to end up with both and he’ll knock them back so fast he probably won’t even taste the difference. He best get both. Both and more. He just, oops, he needs to be careful because he might fall on his ass and then he’ll break the bottles which would just be a fucking waste. No one would get to drink them then! Steve wants to drink them so bad, he wants to drain them both right now into his sloshing, dizzying belly. He could be heavier. He always needs to be heavier. He wants to roll back to the Uber that brought him here and he doesn’t want to be able to be stuffed into his seat. He’s going to swell himself up until he’s not only constantly giggly and dizzy but so he’s so round that a seatbelt extender will be essential, otherwise he’ll never be able to fit into a taxi or Lyft or Uber again. Godddd, he wants more already, he feels like he’s drying up despite all the sloshes and burps he’s stifling. Maybe both and then a few six-packs?

Bucky, however, is plodding through the food aisles, half-pushing, half-leaning on a cart that’s haphazardly stacked with enough food for a family of six. He’s so fucking loud and noisy between his almost ground-shaking footsteps and fast, shallow breaths. He ate before he came. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? Never go grocery shopping hungry? He was just trying to follow the rules! But it doesn’t look like it’s worked on account of the crumbs around his mouth and the empty wrappers littering the baby seat of his cart. His gut is churning loudly - he just destroyed a whole box of snack cakes while debating what kind of ice cream he needs, thoughtless and shameless, only concerned with how to fill himself up until it hurts in the best way. Too tight. His belly keeps bumping the handle of the cart, so large that it makes his arms feel short.  

As they’re checking out, Steve isn’t looking where he’s going and he walks straight into Bucky. Bucky isn’t looking because he’s staring at the candy bars displayed near the front of the store, trying to drool remember if there’s any at the bottom of his cart or not.

Without their attention, they end up colliding belly to belly, making them both choke and groan, pressing on their sensitive guts sends hot, intense jolts of arousal through them both. It’s like pressing on a bruise - a big, fat bruise that’s been aching constantly for what feels like months. It’s a wonder neither of them come in their pants right then, hitting together like yoga balls and stumbling backwards, almost falling, they’re so on edge after months of unending gluttony. Stretched to their limits. Steve arches his back, reveling with a groan how his whole firm gut sloshes but doesn’t move all that much, he’s solid; Bucky curls around his soft tummy, breathing through the waves of heat with his fat jiggling everywhere, barely shoving a moan down. Neither of them can be out in public like this! This was a terrible idea! Now all they want to do is slump down and pant and digest a little so they might stand a chance at, at… 

Who hit him anyway?

Oh. 

They both look up at the same time, meeting each other’s dilated eyes and wondering, not even needing to speak out loud, how long they’ll have to wait to digest to be able to move better, just a little less sensitive, enough to touch each other - to squeeze and grope each other. Both of their bodies have ballooned, hugely fat, but they’re still so different. Hard and round; soft with rolls. How different are they these days? 

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Honestly a weird thing about zutara fanworks that I sometimes notice is not only do they take some of Aang’s traits (the ability to have fun, flirt at all, any kind of remote understanding of other cultures and people and spirits) and put them in Zuko but… sometimes Katara even gets this? Like you’ll see something with Katara randomly deciding to save Zuko’s life while they are enemies. No. That’s always been Aang. Katara says nothing to the idea of leaving Zuko to die in the snow. Only Aang protests in both his words and actions. Zutara wishes it had what Zukaang has. Katara isn’t cruel but she doesn’t say anything for or against saving him. Whatever happens, happens. It’s almost indifference.

"Katara isn’t cruel but she doesn’t say anything for or against saving him" I'm gonna have to disagree with you here. On the North Pole, both Katara and Sokka are VERY firmly on team "Let Zuko freeze to death".

Which is why it's so funny to me that they were the members of the Gaang that are shipped with him the most and talked about as if they have such a meaningful connection from the start, when they were fully willing to let him die when they were enemies, and even after they all became friends Zuko was clearly much closer to both Aang and Toph than he ever was to Katara and/or Sokka.

(Suki is also much closer to Zuko in the comics than Katara and/or Sokka, but I pretend the comics don't exist, so I won't use that as exemple).

And yeah, if Aang was a girl Zutarians would have latched onto it SO fast. I don't even ship Zukaang, but it makes a lot more sense than Zutara and Zukka combined - not exactly a difficult task, but still. If the writting had been just slightly different it could have easily been a totally acceptable endgame.

...I'm still holding onto my headcanon of a drunk Azula making a speech during some important feast, or even during Zuko's wedding to Mai, and mentioning the time her brother "slow danced romantically with the Avatar to appease the gay dragons."

[dearest-painter]

Yandere Jimmy and Gary with a Male!Teen parent!greaser!Reader

Summary:Jimmy and Gary fall in love with the same boy aka Y/N L/N the teenage parent greaser but they aren’t willing to share so easy (Headcanons and a one shots)

TW/CW:Yandere behavior,Gary being a hypocrite,unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,mentions of fights,Reader’s baby mama is unknown but it’s mentioned that their in great terms,Reader’s daughter is named Tallulah and if your asking where I got it from it’s from QMSP bc I’ve seen edits and honestly love the name!,Johnny and Reader’s relationship is on the fence with platonic and romantic behavior but never specified what it is(Based off of my friends treating me as their kid and pretending to be a couple),Gary himself,Gary’s sadistic behavior,Gary wanting to own you,VERY OCC CHARACTERS BC JOHNNY IN THE GAME CARES MOSTLY FOR LOLA BUT IN THIS HES VERY POSSESSIVE OF READER!,if I need to add more please do tell me

A/N:Might make this a series

Jimmy hopkins

-now at first he thought you were an asshole because everyone is at that school but you were actually pretty nice!

-He met you when your daughter Tallulah got lost in the circus because she followed a butterfly,he saw you panicking and looking everywhere for her very worried

- “TALLULAH BABY!” “DADDY!” Jimmy watched as Tallulah ran towards you crying as you picked her up and hug her very tight. He knows you from school,you hang with the greasers and look the part to but if he was honest you look pretty handsome like that especially when you cry. “t-thank you…Jimmy was it? Thank you for finding my baby..” “No problem man but how did you lose your daughter?” “Because I saw a butterfly and walked away from daddy” “Yeah I noticed not to long after because you were to quite but here Jim,ya helped a lot” You pulled out a 30 and gave it to him as a way to show you care. “Thanks…” “See ya soon and or later Jim!” “Bye bye nice man!” Tallulah waved goodbye and smiled as you two went home maybe

-You two started hanging out more often to the point Tallulah calls him Uncle Jimmy! He truly does love the way your nice. He notices your never in your dorm,when he ask he gets “Well…gotta have my girl with me at all times,why ya think I get to leave early? They let me check on my baby!” That’s when he learnt the teachers babysit her on their off periods expect Edna…last time Tallulah literally tried to carve out her skin

-He hates how Johnny or the others are so close to you and how Tallulah calls Johnny ‘Dada’ turns out Johnny’s been your childhood best friend and he is your support but also babysitter. Johnny has been closer to you causing him to be ‘Dada’

-He is very willing to murder and attack people. He does do ‘warnings’ but if they keep trying to get with you he isn’t afraid to show that your his man. Johnny he hasn’t done yet because your almost ALWAYS with him,if your asking why he wants to attack Johnny is because no one is sure if you two are dating with the way y’all act. Examples When Johnny thinks no one is paying attention he kisses your cheek,y’all hold hands,sometimes you two use pet names,Johnny is OVERPROTECTIVE and POSSESSIVE of you like he gets upset when someone is flirting with you!,You often lean on his as you take a nap,He’s always at your house,Tallulah calling you ‘Daddy’ and him ‘dada’ as you two skip school for her school and those are just a FEW!

-He is possessive,not easily jealous,but very very overprotective of you.

Gary smith

-THIS MOTHER FUCKER! Everyone hates him and he hates everyone we know that but when he felt some feelings he didn’t know towards you he HATED you more!

-Totally makes fun of you for being a single teen parent,knocking a girl up and she didn’t stay with you even though countless times you’ve told everyone it was a drunk thing and that you two are actually close,your style,the way you talk,hell one time he made fun of Tallulah’s R’s and you went ham on him. No one has seen you this angry and they don’t want to after you literally made him go to the hospital.

-After that he wanted you,to own you,to put you in your fucking place! How dare you humiliate him!? He’ll show you that he’s better!

-Notices and picks at every little thing when someone tries to date or flirt with you because your his! You should already know this!

-Tallulah doesn’t like him because he scares her. He hates her because she bit him to the point he bled but he knows you love her so he’ll put up with her

-No warnings just attacks,no one will think it’s out of pocket for Gary well not a lot but sorta. He just verbally attacks Johnny because he know if he tried anything physically you’d beat him shitless once again

When they confront each other

Jimmy isn’t stupid actually he’s pretty damn smart so when he notices Gary acting the way he does with anyone else he knows he’s not alone with the obsession. “Jimmy buddy! Since we’re such good friends I’m just gonna give you this one little warning….STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM Y/N!” Jimmy got closer to Gary wanting to fight him but he’s only given a few warnings. “And what if I don’t?” Gary grabbed Jimmy’s collar trying not to punch his past errand boy. As soon as Jimmy said that a fight ensued. “BOYS CUT IT OUT!” “GOD DAMN IT JIMMY” the teachers pulled off Gary while Jimmy as being held by you. Gary hated how he was so close to you! They both agreed that they’ll fight for your love.

[verdemoun]

projecting because i'm putting off essay writing but sean would do great in modern times until he didn't. tw for existential cosmic horror

lenny and sean go on a queerplatonic date to a planetarium because lenny is determined to prove that learning can be fun and sean is actually pretty keen on the idea of laying on a couch watching the night sky on a giant dome screen because that sounds awesome

lenny is completely enthralled, beaming ear to ear as a black!! lecturer!! is explaining in how mathmatics is used in physical cosmology to explain the expansion of the universe, using infinite as a measurement when space is something real and seemingly quantifiable

sean's vibing. thinks it's really cool they've got footage of the earth rotating and you can see the city lights come on and hey look there's ireland!! except then it zooms out. there's the other planets and the sun, that's fun. we look like specks! and then the sun is a speck, in a cloud of specks. that is one of an infinite number of speck-clouds.

where was earth again

haha, we really are small!

hey where's God

afterwards lenny is visibly excited, babbling about how incredible it is that human knowledge has come so far in 100 years, how much is still unknown, the infinite possible things that could be discovered or learned about in another 100 years

and it hits sean that lenny believes all that stuff so it must be true, because lenny's always right

tries to laugh it off 'haha yeah guess we're pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of it' as he pulls a flask out of his pocket

lenny knows sean drinking is a bad sign and gently tells him not to, tries to offer some philosophical explanation about mankind only inventing understandable knowledge out of fear

sean finally snapping. because he’s not lenny, he’s not dutch or hosea. He doesn’t like having big theoretical ideas in his head, reading hurts and sometimes when life’s too much he just needs a drink. there’s nothing wrong with needing a damned drink every now and then (there’s definitely something wrong with sean’s alcohol use but now isn’t the time to bring that up)

he misses karen. karen understood all he was ever going to be was idiot sean mcguire. they drank together, and they understood that it wasn’t just about being fools when they were drunk. drinking made it easier to be who they were meant to be, their roles in the gang: a loud-mouthed clown and a beautiful woman

lenny sitting down beside him and just putting his arm around him, letting sean drink as he starts crying because he misses his beautiful woman so much

[aroseformyself]

Rent.

Summary: getting thrown out of your apartment for late bills while in LA, possibly the best place people come to get laid, isn’t what you had in mind, but a freaky twist comes into play when your “friend” Jack Howl reveals that someone has been staring at you for weeks. (yandere)

⚠️warnings; my English is horrible so possible mix of tense, horror?, implied stalking, implied nsfw/noncon, no magic, modern au, my first time writing an actually decent fic¿

readers sex not specified.

“It’s closing time already?” you question yourself, grabbing a ticket and placing it into the hole-puncher and sticking it to the wall. It’s your only way to clock out. It’s a little old-fashioned but it works and that’s all that matters.

“Finally I can get out of this greasy disaster.” you state, flipping the sign around to read closed outside.

You walk to a rack near the kitchen, throwing your apron and cap off and hanging it with the other employees.

When you turn around you see your “friend”, or more like companion, Jack, a strong but sensitive guy who works in the wreck of a fast-food place as well to support his younger siblings and basically entire family, not that it does much.

“It’s closing time already?” he has a deep husky voice that booms every time he speaks, no wonder all the girls have a crush on him.

“Yeah, you can go ahead and leave, I’ll clean up.” you stated as he clocked out.

He looked at you for a second, pondering his words, “No, no, I would hate to leave you here alone, and I’m sure you’re the same way,”

I don’t like how you’re right, Jack.

“if we both clean together we’ll get it done twice as fast and neither of us will have to stay later than needed.”

You sigh at his helpfulness, “Y’know you really should start thinking of yourself, Jack, but thank you anyway.” you say, grabbing the broom Jack had been cleaning the floor with earlier.

You start to sweep the dirty and mud-colored floor as Jack wiped down the counter, covered in grease, what looks like blood but is actually ketchup, salt from fries, and Karen’s tears.

Everyone has gone home for holiday break, but you and Jack were some of the few that worked here and actually had to, you couldn’t get another job because of low money and no interest in going to going to college, so here you were, stuck working in a fast-food joint, and all this as a 19-year-old. A 19-year-old who should be going out on Friday nights with friends, like Jack, and having fun, not working over-time just to pay bills that barely get by. Come to think of it, you don’t have enough money for your bills yet and you haven’t payed the landlord last week, you just hope they don’t throw you out.

And Jack doesn’t have it any better… You thought, Jack Howl, a guy who masks his insecurities with a tough exterior, a facade of strength. All to hide a sensitive guy who needs love, and a break. With him constantly taking care of his siblings because of gambling-addicted parents, and having to leave them because he can’t afford a babysitter, sometimes he’d even ask you to go over and watch them for a buck. But you always agreed without the money. For so long he’d have to deal with his parents coming home black-out drunk or just falling right on the door step, from getting too boozed up, of their small house. He’d drag them inside and let them puke their guts out and lay them down to sleep just so the cycle could continue. You genuinely felt bad for him, poor guy started doing odd jobs when he was just 11. And he’s only 16 right now.

“Hey, Jack.” you say after contemplating on your words for a while.

“Yeah, Y/n?” he asked, turning his head in your direction to see you looking at the floor while grinning wide.

“If your parents ever stop being black out drunk for a second and win, will you invite me over?” you finish with a little laugh too show you were joking.

He looked at you for a second before laughing, “Sure, Y/n, if I ever get rich from my parents addiction, you’d be the first I’d call.”

You both end the night laughing your asses off while making jokes that to anyone looking in are actually just based off miserable experiences.

But who’s going to stop you.

“Uhh, hey let me walk you home.” Jack said, trailing behind you.

“No, it’s fine, really. I can take care of myself, besides it’s just a little rain and you need to get back to your siblings, I bet my savings they’re waiting for you.” you comment quietly, strutting down the street in the direction of your apartment.

Jack looked uncomfortable for a second when you turn to look at him, “What’s wrong?”

“Uhm.. Don’t freak out or they’ll know,” he pauses before looking in the direction of a cafe, a ring of a bell signified that someone was leaving the place, “someone’s been watching you for a while… And they just left the cafe…”

Your heartbeat was suddenly in your throat and you felt your stomach churn, resisting the burning urge to turn your head around to see who this person is, “W-what? What do they look like?”

Jacks face twisted into confusion, “What are you scared of I’m with you, I won’t let them hurt you, and what do you plan to do if I describe them, keep track of them?” his sweat-dropped as soon as he finished his sentence, “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sound r-rude or anything!” he frantically waved his hands to show he was genuinely concerned for your well-being.

After a second he calmed down, “L-look. I’m just saying maybe you shouldn’t stay at you place tonight. I’ve seen the same person watching you about a week ago as well. Only I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t completely sure he was looking at you and I thought it could’ve been a coincidence.”

After you didn’t answer Jack stepped away a little, and the rain poured down on you reminding you of how you don’t want to go back to your cracked roof that lets the rain in without your consent.

“Okay.” you say, barely a whisper but Jack heard it.

Passing through the streets people, of all kinds where entering, and leaving the casino you work next to, you almost got swept up into the crowd, but Jack grabbed your hand and led your through without a single struggle.

When you got to his doorstep he reached for his key, abruptly, you yelled out, “Wait! I need to feed my cat; Grim! Oh no, I can’t jus leave him alone!!!” you panicked, running down the three steps and trying your best to run to your apartment without slipping on the wet ground.

Jack looked startled by your yell and spun around, “Y/n!” he shouted after you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back right after I get my cat!” you say, your cat, Grim, was a stray you picked up and got treated at the vet, ever since you two were inseparably except when you went to work.

The vets said that he had been abused judging by the fact that he was scared around everything and had little cuts on his legs. It was obvious that Grim had paranoia, he waited by the door everyday, waiting for you to get home.

You ran through the streets, shoving people out of the way, until you finally made it. A run-down building with lights from all around making it light up as if it were supposed to be angelic, but it wasn’t in the slightest.

You rush up the stairs and make it to your door, but freezes in the middle of the hallway when you hear a rough voice call out to you, “Y/n L/n.” you turn, painfully slow, and open your tightly closed eyes to see the landlord.

“Ah, Uh… Hey?” you say, sweat-dropping from your cheek, “Is there something I can do for you?” you say, smiling as best you can.

“Yes, Y/n. You can pay now.” your face dropped, the landlord noticed this and replied with, “Or you can leave and your place becomes someone else’s.”

“Sir… Can I have one more-” you try to start but the landlord can see where this is going and shuts you up quickly.

“Y/n, you are not allowed back here in a million years! Pack your bags and go far away!”

“But sir!”

“No! This is the third time you’ve been late and I can’t keep letting you go for not paying!” he yelled, making you flinch.

Your widened eyes revert back to their half closed glare, “Fine…” you cave, walking back to your door and opening it to see Grim laying down at you feet.

You step in once you are sure the landlords gone, herring his steps fade away. You slide down the now closed door, alerting Grim that your back with all the ruckus that went on outside, “Oh, Grim…” you sigh, petting his head as he purred against your thigh.

The next day you packed, not that you had much belongings to pack, “Let’s go Grim, we’re leaving.”

You see Grim tilt his head as if to ask ‘where are we going?’ even though he couldn’t speak.

“I don’t know where. We’ll figure it out, together.” you say, trying your best to grin at him, but even he can tell this is not good.

As you walk down the stairs you pass the landlord, and glare at him as he does the same to you.

“Goodebye, hellhole.” you whisper as you exit through the doors, so now you’re officially homeless and have a scrawny cat by your side.

Grim mewled against your thigh and started needing it for comfort as you sat down on a bench, scrolling through your phone contacts as your box felt heavy on you lap.

It was around midnight and you couldn’t bring yourself to go to Jack looking so foolish and in need of a new place to stay.

“Huh?” you question, missing the texts and calls from Jack as soon as you see a “new” contact name.

“Floyd Leech…?” your eyes widened, Floyd Leech, your ex-boyfriend, was still in your contacts, you remember the day you broke up with him vividly.

You were at his house and his parents were planning on moving to LA, but you weren’t really that invested nor did you want to try long-distance. You ended up breaking up with a heart-broken Floyd who let his anger out on a wall, and how did he do that? By punching holes in it of course.

He ended up running out and that was the last you ever saw of him.

You shook your head and went back to Jack, you realize it’s your best bet at living, messaging to him that you were fine, but you got kicked out and didn’t know what to do.

He replied back with saying he could let you stay at his place but just for a little. He couldn’t allow another person to stay at his place for so long because of his money struggle.

You agreed and told him you were at west park, he texted okay I’ll come get you. Now all you had to do is wait.

But it was hard to wait when someone was sitting right next to you obviously side-eyeing you, “god… Do you need somethin’?!” you yelled after so long of staying silent, but you couldn’t help it, it was just to uncomfortable.

The man looked started and visibly flinched when you yelled at him, his dirty blond hair falling in front of his face with blue eyes widening as he saw you glaring at him, “Please don’t hurt me! I was sent here by Leech!”

Leech… Oh fuck. You vaguely remember that Floyd and his twin brother, Jade, are the heirs to a mafia type-thing their parents run.

You feel the sky to start sprinkling down, “I-I’m really sorry about this!”

“Huh?-”

And with that everything turned black.

When you awoke you couldn’t tel what time it was where you were or what was going on but you feel something very soft and comfy all around you. A very cozy bed your were placed in.

You grab onto the pillow you sleeping on and bury your face in. Not bothering yourself with anything else at the moment.

Well that was until you heard a voice and your pillow vibrated, “Fufufu~ Awake, are we?” a very deep and raspy voice asked, a hand coming up to pet your head.

“Wha?-” you can barely make out the silhouette of your ex, while you look up. A stinging pain shoots through your head and you can feel your heartbeat.

You make a strangled groan and the hand pushes you back down, “Shhh. Rest now, the pain will be gone in the morning.” What? What pain? Why are you back? Where’s Grim? Why am I here? Floyd? Jack? Anyone? Is all you can think before sleep slowly takes you.

But you don’t miss the hand sliding down your body before you black out.

[albedosarmpit]

VENTI NSFW ALPHABET

Might do more nsfw alphabets or something, gonna try to keep this gender neutral if I mention him sucking cock just imagine I mean eating you out or something, also this was written between like two days while I was sleep deprived so I’m sorry if I mess things up (contradict shit and yeah)

Alsoalsoalso my dms are always open if people wannna rant about characters or someshit like that just please be 18+ or something like that- 17 year olds are on thin fucking ice

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Depending on what you guys had done it varies what the aftercare is like but overall it’s Venti drunk on pleasure (also probably alcohol) and he just touches your body as you both lay there exhausted probably covered in each other’s cum and sweat saying sweet nothings over and over to you saying how much fun it was and how good you looked under him and he would make fun of you by saying you look pathetic covered in his cum as he hugs you and pulls you closer

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On his own Body Venti loves his hands, he loves wrapping them around your own body as well as tracing his own little paths on your body, he’s very skilled with his hands and this is very obvious to you when he’s teasing you chest and fingering your hole, he knows exactly what to do to the point that if he wanted to he could do it with his eyes closed and still make you feel amazing

On your body he loves your torso, he loves putting his hands on your body and watching it rise as you slowly breathe in and out as he gently fingers you, your torso also counts as a place to rest his head so it’s a double win

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Ventis cum tastes divine, it’s abnormally tasty, another weird fact about ventis cum is that when he cums he always cums a ton and whenever you ask about it he mumbles something about how he’s a god that much just comes out, also whenever he is turned on he also leaks precum, it’s super obvious whenever you tease him too much you can see a small stain on his crotch, both of you love the taste and he loves kissing you and sharing his own cum with the two of you

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves your scent, this is obvious to you but a secret you don’t know is that since he controls wind he always makes sure to blow your scent to him making sure your scent is stuck to him and won’t forget it, he’s scared of how you would make fun of him and that’s why he keeps it from you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s over 2000 years old he has fucked a lot of people but he never talks about his past lovers to you unless he’s super drunk and even then it’s only in passing, he would sing about romance and lovers doing things and in a drunken mumble he says that it’s actually about him and the crowd would simply laugh although you have evidence that he isn’t bluffing when he sings about how good he is with his hands

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Venti loves seeing you lay on your back, looking up at his as he leans forward and fucks you, his sweat dripping onto your body as he looks down at your face, his hands on your sides, his thumbs moving up and down as he whispers saying how good you look under him and how pretty you are as he slams into you saying you take him so well even though he is a god and so far above you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Venti is very goofy in the way that he will not take super sex super seriously but does know when to he and when not to tell jokes (as all good bards do) so he does stop telling jokes sometimes

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Venti doesn’t treat his pubic hair, yes he obviously washes it but he never trims or shaves unless you want it gone and even then most of the time he comes up with excuses as to why he can’t mostly because he can’t be bothered. Both Ventis armpit hair and pubic hair are the same as the hair on his head, he even has some of the ends dyed and grows slightly, his hair is thick all throughout and the patch above his cock grows in a triangle shape and with how long some of the hair grows if you look while he’s in his Barbetos outfit you can see some of the hair poking out and you always make fun of him for it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s very romantic, almost so much that you almost burst out laughing at just how cliche he gets with his pick up lines and compliments, he’s also very sensual and sweet most of the time when he’s not too drunk in pleasure and frotting against you mumbling random nonsense into your ear

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He can’t help it. Venti loves seeing you so much he might just jerk off next to you while your sleeping, he doesn’t care but he jerks off at least 3 days a week and most, if not all of them, are using you as the material, weither it be thoughts of you, seeing you, your scent, anything.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise kink: he loves praising you, telling you how good you feel and how amazing you are, he can’t help but compliment you no matter what it’s about.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Diluc has a special bedroom upstairs for him and so Venti loves taking you up there and having sex there, Diluc has kicked both of you out of their for being too loud but Venti doesn’t mind finishing it outside, although it is hard holding him up and carrying him somewhere when you two are done, it doesn’t help how loud he is in general.

(I’m so bad at names of places in genshin but) Venti loves fucking you while laying in the grass of the giant fucking tree in monstadt, he loves how free he feels there, although the clear view from outsiders Venti uses his ameno powers to cover the two of you, although that depends on how the two of you feel that day.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your reactions to him, the way you react to him fucking you or just teasing you, Venti loves seeing how you react to his touch and his words, telling you how you feel around him, how you react when he fills you up and hugs you, the way you tense when he wraps his arms around you

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

As much as Venti loves hearing you moan and cry out he couldn’t bare actually making you bleed, scratches are fine but only when you do it to his back. Venti knows he’s a god and knows scratching you won’t pierce the skin but that fear is very real to him and something he worries about a lot, although he won’t say it to you directly and it’s something you have to force a conversation about and walk through slowly.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving Oral: Venti much prefers to give you oral, he’s much better at it than anyone, he knows exactly how to use his tongue, it doesn’t matter what genitalia you have he knows exactly how to please it and make you finish in his mouth in mere seconds, his years of experience truely don’t go to waste. He loves looking up at you and hike doing it all, seeing the way you breathe and how vulnerable you become just from his tongue. If you’re really desperate he would let you pull on his ponytails

Receiving Oral: Venti is very sensitive and no matter your experience he’s very vocal and needy, his hands instantly go to the back of you head, for support, he may lightly rub your cheek as he forces you further down into his cock, pretty much burying you into his pubic hair as you choke on his cock

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Venti is often slow and sensual at the start at least, he prefers fucking into you quick and hard and then slowly pulling out and going again, making you beg as he slowly pulls out, if he was tired he would 100% be all over the place, his thrusts being erratic, might be quick and rough one minute and then instantly slower

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Venti loves quickies even though he gets so sleep afterwards, it would be so obvious that it happened since he would seem extremely exhausted and sweaty in afterwards, however he would never pass down the opportunity for quickies even the location wouldn’t matter for him as long as you initiate it

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Venti has lived for over 2000 years, he doesn’t have anything left to loose (in terms of self respect) meaning if you want to risk something he is down for whatever the fuck it is, you want to fuck ONTOP of the statue in front of the cathedral? He will fly you there and fuck you again and again if that’s what you wish.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Venti can go tons of rounds!! He has the stamina fit for a god- kinda… We talked about how much Cum Venti has and well he can’t last very long before shooting his load, although he he can go at LEAST 4 times before starting to get tired but depending on what you’re doing to him that may only be about 10 minutes in total

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Venti doesn’t really have conventional toys, through many years he’s figured out just how to use his Ameno energy as stand-ins for toys, he could make a dildo, fleshlight, everything like that with Ameno power alone. Although he does love the idea of using actual toys on you and vice-versa. He loves the idea of sharing a double ended dildo with you.

He had begged you to use a vibrating butt-plug on him before and turn it on during his public shows yet one time you turned it on and you could tell he instantly came, he was completely drunk yet he ran past Diluc to behind the bar just to try and calm down

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Venti loves teasing you, using just the tips of his fingers on your genitalia lightly teasing and stroking instantly breaking you as he said just how much he loved seeing you like that. Venti is too much of a tease it’s crazy, although he never makes you edge whatsoever, he’s too impatient for that

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Loud loud loud

He’s loud and annoying and everyone can hear his sounds and yells, he’s somehow even louder than when he’s drunk, and when he’s drunk and having sex he’s even more loud, his pants, moans and every little thing he says echos around, he doesn’t try to be quiet though, he never shuts up unless it means you would be in danger

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Venti 100% has done a “private show” where he goes to the back to whichever pub he’s at and allows whoever is there to fuck him over and over again, that pleasure is something he loves and never gets enough of. Although he hasn’t done that after he met you, you’re much more worthy of his time than any number of people attending private shows

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Despite him being a god he’s not the biggest out of all the others, his cock is only about 6 and a half inches when flaccid and goes up to 7 and a half when fully erect, his cock is pretty thick as well, he loves how big his cock is just because of how surprised people get when they see it (when he’s in desperate need of money he bets people to guess his size and they always guess something smaller)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He is almost always horny (he’s a bard so it makes sense) no matter what he’s doing he can always show how horny he is, even though he’s a sly bard he’s not very hard to read when he’s in the mood

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Almost instantly, he gets so tired after cumming and it’s only a matter of time before he closes his eyes and rests ontop of you, even if his cock is still inside of you that won’t stop him from yawning and sleeping on you