i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.
it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.
it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)
it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
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playing it cool is soooo incredibly stupid
tell people you love them. tell them you miss them or think about them all the time. respond right away. text them first.
people are so cold but being warm feels so good. close interpersonal relationships that hold meaning are one of the best things that this world has to offer. don’t deny yourself from that experience out of pride or fear of rejection.
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As I begin my umpteenth rewatch of fullmetal alchemist brotherhood I am once again reminded about how amazing it is that this show actually exists in the form that it does like can you imagine if a show like fmab was released today an almost 100% faithful adaptation of the source material not squeezed into 8 or 10 or 12 episode blocks so it can fit a season but given just the right amount of episodes needed to tell the complete story start to end
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C2 Spoilers
it drives me NUTS when people say that Taliesin and Matt decided together backstage to kill off Molly. It makes 0 sense and it's ??? just such an unnecessary rumor to spread. People on reddit often spout it like it's just a known fact. Like, as if Taliesin didn't famously complain about having to pull all nighters over a busy weekend to roll and conceptualize a new character cuz he had ZERO backup. As if Molly didn't JUST have a huge lore drop and was clearly building to be a major focus of the next branch of the story. As if Matt didn't have LOADS of lore and planning already done that he had to to redo and reconfigure to fit with the Tomb Takers going and exhuming Molly to continue their plans. Matt said he had this whole thing where Lucien was gonna show up in a different body and hunt down the M9 to kill Molly and take his old body back. He SAID that!
Idk why this drives me nuts. It just feels... almost disrespectful. Like. Y'all. Taliesin isn't a baby. He fucked up. It's okay. He made a dumb choice in the heat of the battle and doubled down and it got his character killed. Things escalated and there wasn't a healer and it's JUST as simple as that. Stop making shit up to justify something that only SEEMS LIKE IT'S ORDAINED because these people are talented story tellers. Blowing all the work they did to reconfigure the story and just HAND WAVING and being like "they planned it ahead of time" is just rude. If it all seems preplanned it's cuz Matt busted his patootie off and reweaved a frayed tapestry into a beautiful work. Happy accidents and all that. CMON.
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
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i've said this before but i think a huge part of the reason undertale's character writing works that doesn't get talked about enough is the fact that it doesn't fall into the trap of having FRIENDSHIP fix everything. i mean in a way it kind of does but like. the characters fix their own mistakes. they are the ones to decide they've done wrong and take action to fix it, not you. they just realize that through frisk. friendship gives them the new perspective necessary to change their ways, but it's only half the solution.
it's alphys who decides, on her own, to take the amalgamates home and admit her mistakes. it's undyne who, when it's her turn to attack you, outside her flaming house, decides there's no point in this path of mindless murder and destruction she's dug for herself, and breaks the cycle herself by dropping her weapon and deciding not to fight you anymore. it's asgore who, after you've done nothing but attack him, realizes what a coward he's been and decides to end the cycle of violence at the cost of his own life. it's mettaton who hears the voices of the hundreds who love him, and who he loves, and realizes that for now, it's more worth it for him to be content where he is. it's asriel who, despite the comfort of pretending chara's still with him, chooses to recognize frisk as who they really are, and face a harsh reality so he can save his family. sans sees your determination and perseverance in the face of hopelessness and decides that maybe there is something to fight for, all by simply watching you. hell, papyrus gives up his fight entirely on his own- all he needs is an opportunity to really think his plan to join the guard through, and a taste of what that guard actually stands for, and he decides it's not worth it without you saying a word. undertale presents you with all these flawed and complex characters and says, "here, look. they're just like you, and they chose to save themselves, despite everything in them telling them they were damned. will you do the same?"
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