#disability puts a person in such a vulnerable position

[oneday-yourside]

Harry's world/Bad end

Inspired by Christina's world by Andrew Wyeth

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Someone requested some advice on whether to openly tell people you are mentally ill/neurodivergent/invisibly disabled or not.

There's some research that suggests that, for example, autistic people are more likely to identify as lgbt+ than their non-autistic peers - so this is absolutely a topic that belongs on a lgbt+ blog and I'm sure there are a lot of you who had to make that decision (and probably keep having to make it as coming-outs of any sort are rarely one-and-done!).

In fact, I had/have to make that decision myself! As an autistic person with depression and anxiety, I could tell you now why I personally decided to be open about all those diagnoses - but the right decision for me isn't necessarily the right decision for you as my life isn't yours.

So, what I'll do instead is to write down a general list with (potential) pros and cons, and I encourage you to nitpick it. Personalize it, take some time to decide how much, if at all, each point weighs in your own decision. There's no right or wrong answer here. It's all about your highly individual situation, about your safety and comfort.

Reasons not to be open about it:

It may put you at risk for various sorts of hate, discrimination, negative stigma and bad treatment

It may put a burden on you to educate others and discuss any misconceptions or myths they believe in, including potentially hurtful or disstressing ones (maybe even fruitlessly so which may cause frustrations or fights)

It may change the way people treat you, even in well-meant ways (babying you, pitying you, trying to "help" against your wishes etc.)

It may feel like a loss of privacy, make you feel "naked" or emotionally vulnerable, make you worry more about the way others perceive you etc.

Reasons to be open about it:

It may help others understand you or your behavior better, which may have positive effects on your relationships

It may allow you to ask for support and help more easily (either from friends and loved ones or in the workplace, school etc.)

It may make you feel empowered and help you accept/love yourself as a disabled person more

It may contribute to making your specific diagnosis more visible in society (which may also make you feel pride in breaking down stereotypes and supporting your community)

It may discourage people from assigning wrong or hurtful labels to you (either armchair-diagnosing you or labeling you as weird, crazy, lazy, gross etc.)

It's important to keep in mind that some people do not have the option to make this decision for themselves, for example because they have highly visible symptoms or they are in a position where their caretakers make the decision for them. This adds another layer to why we can't judge one decision as better or worse than the other - it's not always their own decision.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[trans-axolotl]

saw a post talking about how intersex bodies are natural bodies, just like dyadic bodies, and how intersex bodies are not a medical condition or a "birth defect." this is not something that i disagree with--I think that intersex people suffer when our bodies are medicalized, I think it puts us in a position where we are much more vulnerable to "corrective" abuse and I think it promotes self hatred by making us think that doctors are here to fix something broken about us.

But as an intersex person who is multiply disabled and who is disabled by my intersex variation, I wonder if we could extend this idea further. I think that we need to be able to embrace the idea that disability is natural and that many, many disabled people are harmed by the medicalization of our bodies. These concepts of "normal" and "abnormal" that are weaponized towards us as a way to justify sterilization and forced hormones are the same concepts of "normal" and "abnormal" used to justify eugenic abortion, used to deny sign language access to Deaf children, used to promote psychiatric incarceration. Yes, Intersex bodies are just as natural as dyadic bodies and do not inherently cause us impairment, and at the same time, disabled bodies are just as natural as abled bodies--being disabled is a natural way of being. Saying that some of our intersex variations can be a disability does not mean that we need to accept the idea that it's our sex characteristics that are "abnormal" or causing us impairment, and it does not mean we have to agree with doctors who want to treat the existence of people outside the sex binary as a problem in need of a cure.

I think it's vital that as intersex people we fight against medicalization, but I think that in recognizing the ways that medicalization has so deeply harmed us, this is also an opportunity to recognize the ways that the dehumanization of medicalization harms so many people. I'm not sure there is the mythical disabled and ill person or some specific diagnosis that is helped by medicalization, and I think that instead of trying to separate ourselves away from disabled community, we have the opportunity to build intentional solidarity on our own terms.

Intersex bodies are beautiful and natural and whole, and we are allowed to acknowledge the ways in which our intersex bodies might sometimes be disabled while still rejecting medicalization and the ideology of cure that doctors want us to accept as truth.

okay to reblog, but dyadic people please think carefully before adding on.

[chronicallycouchbound]

Intelligence Doesn't Equal Morality

Intellect is rooted in ableist systems and stupidity and intelligence are pointless social constructs that don't relate to morals or character.

I try to be a pretty good person, I fight for human rights, I regularly engage in mutual aid, and I care for my community. I try to do the right thing and support causes I care about and make positive changes in the world.

But I also am not very smart. I have several neurodevelopmental disorders, as well as cognitive disabilities. I can’t do simple, basic math, it’s hard for me to remember facts or algorithms, I rely entirely on spellcheck and speech-to-text to write, I failed many classes in high school and I barely passed with a low GPA, I had low pSAT scores and I never took the SATs. I moved around a lot all through school starting in third grade, and I missed a lot of basic fundamentals in learning (like how to do division and multiplication) so when I went to a different school they had already passed it and expected me to know. After my TBI, I could barely read AFTER I was cleared from my “concussion” symptoms because letters and words would flip around and I’d get headaches. Which still happens sometimes.

A lot of people see me as smart because I've learned a lot of academic language and can formulate thoughts into cohesive posts. But I lack a lot of necessary skills and rely on my caretakers to assist me. Things like budgeting and planning are extremely difficult for me. If I need to do simple addition or subtraction, even with a calculator, I quickly get confused and struggle. I forget basic information about myself all the time, let alone other subjects. I'm talking, has to check my ID for my birthday type confused. Doesn't know my name or address or what year it is confused. It happens daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Being able to type out posts like this often takes weeks and many adaptive tools to get there. Focusing is extremely difficult on many fronts, severe chronic pain, ADHD, dissociation, fatigue, migraines, and TBI, are just some of the contributing factors. I struggle daily with many things because of my lack of intellect.

I’m also privileged in the fact that I had some access to education as a homeless youth, that I had some supports in place to help me (towards the end of school), that I was somewhat able-bodied at the time and could walk or bike to and from school when the school system didn’t provide transportation. I was fortunate to have a chance to succeed, and I’m proud that I graduated high school because it was a difficult task for me, and others often aren’t offered that chance or get accommodations. I almost didn’t and I dropped out many times before graduation. I passed on sheer luck and what little privileges I had. 

That all being said, me being stupid (reclaiming it here) doesn't make me a bad person. I don't hurt people because I can't do math. I may mess up things or get confused but it doesn't make me want to harm others.

We often (wrongfully) equate morals with intellect. Being ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’, or an ‘idiot’ doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. Plenty of evil, awful, and abusive people are extremely intelligent. 

I see this most notably with people advocating for IQ tests to be able to vote. Often from left-leaning people, in hopes it'll make the right (that they view as unintelligent), unable to vote. The reality is, it just hurts some of our most vulnerable members of the community while not actively doing anything to restrict some of the most dangerous members of our community-- those who know what they're doing to harm others and deliberately doing so. My voice matters, and I speak up against injustice and participate in dismantling oppressive systems. Taking away my right to vote won't make the right stop oppressing minorities (which also puts a lot of faith into the two-party voting system, which is a post for another day).

Additionally, legislative measures that discriminate against intellectually disabled people such as IQ tests for voting are also rooted in racism and classism. 

Yes, education can be a vital tool when it comes to addressing discrimination and creating safer communities. But the kind of education that is measured with an IQ test (or any test) isn't the same. Building compassion and caring for others can (and should) happen at any IQ level. We can all practice this, we can all participate.

It harms our communities and stagnates our progress when we equate intelligence with high morals.

[neurosharky]

ASPD: The Desire for and Run from Intimacy

This post will only contain my personal opinion and experience. It may not be applicable to all other people with ASPD and may likewise be relatable to people who do not have it.

I am only going to be talking about emotional intimacy, but this post is definitely also applicable to the other type of intimacy!

I'll make myself pretty vulnerable in this post, by discussing my personal experience, so you better not make me regret that!

Abbreviations:

ASPD = Antisocial Personality Disorder

ASPD is a disability caused by prolonged childhood trauma (with many possible variations), that develops in order to protect the brain from said trauma, or rather to help the brain deal with it in some way!

While the consequences of this in the context of intimacy, look different for every person with ASPD, many do report: a difficulty with developing bonds, having problems trusting people & giving away control, losing feelings for people quickly and abruptly/getting "bored" of people, responding extremely to arguments, having problems dealing with peoples emotions/ problems with being close to people etc.

This may be due to a variety of factors, but does often tie back to having no or few positive experiences with intimacy, having not learned how to exist in relationships properly/a lack of being socialized, not having the necessary prosocial emotions and mechanisms to deal with it and other similar things.

While this causes some people with ASPD to develop a brain, that does not have a need for emotional intimacy at all, others develop a brain, that craves the emotional intimacy it has been denied, but which will also fight said intimacy at every turn.

Thats as much generalized info as I can give you, as the exact representation of this is highly individual, but I will offer my personal experience on the following slides!

What you need to know is that I was accidentally neglected for huge parts of my childhood and teens and did not get my emotional and social needs met most of the time, while also knowing that my parents were theoretically capable of that, as they were giving everything I lacked to my sibling.

This caused me to grow up with a burning desire for intimacy, while being disappointed by people time and time again, failing to actually develop the things needed to experience this intimacy and partially growing to resent it and viewing it as "weak" and "bad".

Ever since then I have been stuck in what I like to call the "ASPD stages of running". Theres different points in getting close to people (in any nature of a relationship), that'll send me running and feeling like I am "weak" for wanting it, or as if being close to people is the worst thing that could happen.

The stages (simply put) are:

1. Desiring/Daydreaming about my dream relationship

2. Looking at peoples relationships/Looking at people with the intent of getting closer to them

3. Talking to people (online or irl)

4. Getting closer / being friends with people

5. Being friends with people for longer

Optionally:

6. Getting so close that a romantic relationship may happen

7. The moment of getting in the relationship / the days after

8. Being in the relationship for a bit

At any of those stages, I'll very likely have one or multiple moments where my ASPD will try to get the better of me and will try to convince me to just run away, drop contact and never talk about it again. Even just admitting to this and talking about it is hard as fuck, because it is so deeply ingrained in my brain to see emotional intimacy as a weak and dangerous thing.

What this will look like exactly really depends on the person and situation, but things that have happened in the past were:

• blocking the person and everyone I am friends with and pretending I am no longer alive

• my brain fixating on their faults in order to give me a good reason to hate them so I don't get closer to them and can hold them at arms length

• responding less often/more dryly or ignoring messages entirely

• not replicating the energy of the conversation/relationship

• staging an incident so I ruin the relationship

• running at the first signs of a disagreement

• avoiding people when they are emotional

• feeling uncomfortable around people as a whole => isolating

• beating myself up about letting it happen again

• impulsively bumping the relationship to another stage, just to immediately regret it (in a "fuck that has consequences" way)

• shutting off all my emotions, dissociate or otherwise make sure to stop the feelings (or just lose them automatically)

To put it in a shorter and more simple way, I'll usually either get the fuck outta there, or make sure to change the relationship/my personal position in the relationship to a more comfortable and less vulnerable and intimate level. This may also just look like me shutting off, becoming distant, or seeming mad, when all I am is overwhelmed by the intimacy and grossed out that I actually need and desire that.

As you can possibly imagine, that is not the most useful thing, as it causes issues in relationships, cuts friendships short and makes dealing with people a lot harder!

The most frustrating thing about this for me though is, that even if the most perfect friend or partner came along and even if the relationship would work at first, I am very very likely to crash it against the wall, simply because my brain cannot handle having the things, that it needs and desires.

It desires a hug and runs from the one who offers it.

It needs help and bites the hand that does.

It needs love and gets grossed out by whoever offers it.

It wants attention and can't handle it when it gets it.

It wants gifts, but doesnt know what to do when it gets them.

Whatever it wants, it can't have, so it keeps wanting, keeps yearning, keeps desiring and has to watch itself be unable to accept any of it.

And if that sounds painful, thats because it is.

Its a vicious kind of pain when you have to watch yourself ruin yet another thing, because your brain can't handle it, while you scream at it in frustration to get its act together, because it also is everything you desperately need.

ASPD sucks when it comes to intimacy and it especially sucks when it comes to talking about it, or being honest about these problems. It developed to protect me from being too "weak" to deal with the trauma and now its practically preventing me from showing any "weakness" or seeking out what previously hurt me. Which wouldn't be this bad, if I didn't still have this kid in me that just wants to be loved and daydreams about all the things, the ASPD hates.

When your shell disagrees with your core and you're not strong enough yet to break your shell, what does that really leave you with, other than curling up into a spiky ball and letting the shell do its job? I know I still need the protection, but I wish it wasn't actively preventing me from learning to live without it.

First posted on my instagram (same @)

[hazelnut-u-out]

What would your ideal Morty therapy appointment look like (assuming that he went alone)? 🤔

Going to try to answer this even though my brain feels like mush, lol.

So, there are quite a few things I'd like to see. Obviously, I wouldn't expect a single episode to actually tackle every aspect of what therapy would realistically look like for a character like Morty, but hey-- at this rate, every episode aside from 'Fear No Mort' that's attempted to psychoanalyze him hasn't done the best job, I fear... *cough cough*

Anyway, here are some of the things I'd like to see addressed in an actual therapy setting (importantly, not some other form of psychoanalysis, like the Fear Hole, Roy, etc.):

Autism/Pilot Disability

It bothers me every day that the writers never followed up on that throw-away line about Morty having a disability in the pilot. Obviously, I headcanon that he's autistic (I mean, surely that's half of the dynamic with Rick right there, lol). I personally think that Rick and Morty have some autistic traits that present to the opposing extremes. For example, I think Rick struggles with hypo-empathy and Morty with hyper-empathy. I think Rick excels in math where Morty excels in English/literature. I think Rick struggles to mask and Morty is high masking. Rick just doesn't people please to survive in the same way Morty has been socialized to. (Most of this is my interpretation of the characters, but there are scenes that back up my points, as I'm sure you've caught onto, haha.) I think it would be cool to see Morty open up about feeling ostracized from his peers, struggling to make friends his own age, struggling with feelings of being 'behind'/weird/awkward, and how all of that made him the perfect victim. This is probably the least likely of my wants to be addressed in a therapy setting. I think that if they confirm it, it'd be in a pretty lowkey way, similar to what they did with Rick. I think the cold open for 'Mort: Ragnarick' might've actually been an indication that Morty isn't neurotypical, but we knew that already. I actually sort of headcanon Goldenfold's class as a remedial math course because of how simple the math seems to be, though I'm sure it was initially just some math they threw in for the pilot.

2. Grooming...

This is a tough one to include. Morty has been with WAYYY too many older women throughout the course of the show, but Planetina in particular gives me the chills. I would love to see how that's impacted him, or maybe even how his abusive dynamic with Rick and his neglectful relationship with his parents pushed him into that vulnerable position even more.

3. Mommy Issues (or neglectful parenting in general)

This one is a good follow-up for the last one. Morty's dynamic with Beth in 'A Rickconvenient Mort' is something I literally get up in the middle of the night just to think about. It makes my chest ache. I think it's because I know exactly how it feels to be Morty in that situation. When your parents constantly downplay your own feelings, put you in dangerous/vulnerable situations with reckless abandon, and completely shut you out emotionally it can feel like they just want to ruin your life when they try to protect you. To be honest, the show's dynamic wouldn't exist without Beth's negligence. Morty has two moms and neither of them have really tried to protect him. Even Jerry failed him.

4. Crying.

Idk, just lots of it. He deserves to cry about whatever he wants and be validated.

5. Justifying Rick's Actions

I would LOVE to see Morty try to explain Rick's actions away to someone who actually cares if he's being abused. I could see Morty say something to a therapist, there be a negative reaction or uncomfortable silence, and him try to say: 'It's really for my own good, though, you see...'/'You just don't know Rick the way I do. I'm the only one who really gets him...'/'It would break Mom's heart...'/'He would never hurt me on purpose...' Then to have a professional get in there and really debunk that internalized manipulation? I would die (in a good way).

5. Trauma Responses

They've sort of been hinting at this for a bit, but I think the whole point of Rick's improvement-- at least, in Morty's case-- is 'too little too late.' Rick may be getting better, but how is Morty supposed to trust him? Especially when Rick has been 'nice' for the express purpose of hurting him before? Even in his everyday life, I'm sure he has those moments of anxiety/dread/odd behavior because of the shit he's been through.

There's more, but my brain is fried right now, so maybe I'll revisit this ask later. Anyway, this was fun to think about! Thanks for asking! <3

[drdemonprince]

I deeply agree that weve got to meet people where they are at, and that there are multiple factors to consider in a masking situation. But I’m gonna be real as someone who was deeply disabled by covid something still urks me about the way people have been discussing covid protection with you. It is all so overwhelmingly from the perspective of someone not sick. It’s all about how one made the choice to not mask in certain situations and how doing otherwise would ruin ones life, and that’s like, sure, makes sense. But I don’t get that choice. That choice was taken away from me. And I am not making a ill-informed strategic decision in shaming others, I simply have no empathy for the hurt feelings of the people who put me on my deathbed, to be quite fucking honest. I am all for strategic discussions but I am not here to be tone policed by people talking about their choices that I don’t even get to take, sitting here struggling to even type.

Thanks for sharing this. One of the big tension points with COVID is that the target behaviors that need to be changed are located within people who are, statistically, not the most vulnerable -- and so, on a tactical level, we are tasked with extending compassion and aid to people who might not show the same consideration to us as disabled people, if we want to be safe.

As HIV spread throughout queer, sex worker, and intraveneous drug user communities, it was often these very communities that organized in order to influence behavioral change within their own ranks. Gay bars handed out condoms to gay men. Gay sex clubs facilitated fisting nights so people could have safer sex. Needle exchanges run by current and former drug users helped keep drug users safe. The people most likely to be infected were also the people whose behavior could be positively influenced to protect them, and thus protect the community as a whole.

That's not quite the calculus here. In order to protect disabled and high-risk people, we need EVERYONE to be on the same page with regard to COVID mitigation strategies. We need people who are not themselves high risk to mask, test, get vaccinnated, improve ventilation in their homes, etc.

Now, many of these "low risk" people are not actually low risk; the data is pretty abundant at this point that it is in actuality quite hard to pin down who will develop long COVID and who will not, it can happen to just about anyone. And indeed, even many people who know themselves to be high risk are still taking significant risks regarding COVID right now -- because they are forced to go to work in kitchens and grocery stores and live with roommates who travel and etc or because they are so filled with despair they are risk resigned.

So trying to demarcate who is a disempowered victim here and who is an inconsiderate abled person is not actually so easy -- we must resist the urge that has been drilled into us to issue moral judgements about whom is righteous and whom is deserving of suffering. That is not a disability justice politic. No one deserves long covid, no one deserves to die, no one deserves to overdose, no one deserves to get AIDS, no one deserves to perish because they could not handle the loneliness of social isolation either. We must believe that all disabilities are legitimate and in need of accommodation here, and that includes mental ones that make strict mitigation adherence hard for some. (hello, hi, i have crazy risk-taking brain disease, and even so i care about COVID mitigation, and i need community care too).

EVEN SO, it is undeniably true what you are saying, that we are focusing more on the actions and choices and hang ups of the people who have some freedom to choose, and not the people who have been at home for years at this point, completely isolated, because they are high risk or disabled by COVID already.

I would always caution people to remember that there very much are folks who are high risk and have long COVID who are still forced by economic circumstances out into public life every single day. so we can't equate who is at home and who is out in public taking risk with how disabled or sick someone is. But still, I digress, and on the whole you are right, we are concerning ourselves with people who have the freedom to choose how they respond to COVID, and doesn't that seem unfair?

Sure it's unfair! But the people who have the ability to choose how they respond to COVID risk are the exact people whose behavior we are trying to influence here! We want more people to mask, get tested, get vaccinated, socialize outdoors, etc. And so we do have to put considerable resources and messaging into reaching those people and influencing their behavior if we wish to protect disabled and high risk people.

Someone has to do the work of listening to their concerns, educating them, validating their feelings, giving them access to masks and tests, and removing barriers to them taking those kinds of desired actions. a LOT of people have to do that work. You don't have to do that work as someone who is chronically ill, but I'm gonna do it. and I wish more of my comrades would join me in it, for your sake too! We need to be doing the footwork of getting all your neighbors masking so that it is safe for you to go outside!

We also DO want to protect those people who are taking big risks. Their lives do matter just as much to me. Many of the people who are disabled with long COVID were them once. The fact that someone takes a risk does not mean they deserve to get sick and die. Again that is a fundamental cornerstone of a disability justice politic.

But yes, I hear you, it's annoying from where you are sitting to have to hear people who get to out in public and take big risks complaining about how they are sad when they get criticized. You don't have to listen to these conversations. It shouldn't be your job to hold those conversations. But they do need to happen.

[autisticadvocacy]

ASAN is deeply troubled by reports made by The Washington Post this Tuesday that the CDC is planning to change its COVID-19 isolation guidelines. ASAN condemns the potential new guidelines, which would remove the five-day isolation period currently recommended after a positive test for COVID-19. Instead, people with a positive test result would not need to isolate if they have been fever-free for at least 24 hours without the aid of medication. 

ASAN has spoken repeatedly on the failures of the US government to respond adequately to COVID-19. Despite the ongoing pandemic, the end of the public health emergency and subsequent Medicaid unwinding have been devastating to the disability community and other marginalized communities. Efforts to encourage adherence to masking guidance and improve indoor air quality have been underwhelming. Through their actions, the CDC and US Government as a whole have indicated the strategy to combat COVID-19 is seemingly a vaccine-only response, but, with adult uptake of the latest bivalent booster being only 21.9%, even these efforts are beyond inadequate. 

This change is particularly alarming given who is likely to be among the most impacted. Changing the isolation window disproportionately exposes and affects vulnerable populations such as disabled and immunocompromised people, older adults, and other high-risk groups. These guidelines would increase COVID-19 exposure and make people at high risk of poor outcomes from COVID-19 less safe in a range of public and private spaces. 

Asymptomatic spread remains a serious concern with the latest variants. Reduced access to at-home and PCR testing since the end of the public health emergency contributes to transmission. Removing the isolation window adds increased pressure to return to school and work while potentially infectious. This will disproportionately affect individuals with hourly jobs that must be performed in person and families with children that are lower-income and families of color, as many communities aggressively enforce truancy laws against these households. Counting on the availability of treatments like Paxlovid as a mitigation strategy is highly inequitable as racial and ethnic disparities in outpatient treatment of COVID-19 remain prevalent. An approach to COVID-19 that accepts widespread and repeated infection leaves the most vulnerable among us unprotected. As we have seen throughout the pandemic, it has also led to the emergence of new variants, putting our communities at additional risk. Each repeated infection increases an individual’s likelihood of developing Long COVID, a potentially lifelong disability with limited treatment options. 

The CDC has continually failed to take into account disabled people when making COVID-19 policies and regulations. The CDC is moving in the wrong direction by reducing COVID-19 isolation periods. Instead, it should release improved guidelines to promote masking and increase availability, accessibility, and understanding of vaccines, testing, and treatment. States and the federal government also must address the continued effects of the pandemic and the end of the public health emergency on health care access and home and community based services, make investments in improving indoor air quality and preventing and treating Long COVID, and address the economic and human impacts of this crisis. ASAN condemns the possible shortening of isolation guidelines and will continue to hold the federal government accountable for protecting the public from the ongoing risk of COVID-19.

[deafsignifcantother]

Hear No Evil, Introduction

♥ series summary: with a reader overcoming the belief that they have been cursed from birth, they find solace in the hazbin hotel who assure them that they can do good things.

♥ relationship: alastor x gender neutral deaf reader

♥ word count: 1.8k

♥ notes: okay so I know that sign language didn't exist / modern greek sign language would be totally different but don't care didn't ask and she uses it idc. also if this flops then i'm not continuing it teehee i break continuity by giving her communication

♥ content: reader is from ancient greece but ethnicity is not stated nor described, i found out that it was a common belief greek gods hated deaf people and i immediately decided to write a fic about it, albiesm but only in the first part except alastor being a pos, reader has attitude

Statistically, only a handful of people probably suffered from hereditary deafness in an ancient Greek city. Athens, the largest one, probably had a population of only 240 or so congenitally deaf people; smaller cities may only have had four or five. There is no proof of the existence or absence of sign language. Still, there are some references to using gestures for communication. Women were often entrusted with caring for the disabled since the home was their particular sphere of action. 

.

A curse from the Gods. 

Still, beyond that belief, your mother would try to teach you language herself, even when other people thought you couldn't learn. In silence, you'd just observe the planet around you, watching animals play and flowers grow. Even if the Gods thought negatively of you, you found peace in the world they created. 

They hated your success. You cared for household animals and raised livestock for a living; that's what you found you were good at. Without the means of communication, all you spoke was money and coins. You had a beautiful house, a thriving garden, and a supportive customer base. But of course, to the city nearby, this must mean you were a negative spirit manipulating the people. Because how could a disabled person live such a perfect life, nevertheless independently?

You can't say you were surprised when you ended up in the underworld after your murder. Your mother would describe you as a keen intellect with a kind heart, but that's not enough to allow you into the heavens. 

You put your motivation into lifting yourself from the dirt as you did when you were alive. The underworld won't wear you down, no matter how rude others are, no matter how disadvantaged you may be. 

Sadly, there weren't any farms in the Pride Ring, not that you could find. The only gardens you could locate were in Cannibal Town, but you weren't quite ready to enter that place alone yet. The first body you ever saw was behind the town boundaries. The woman's chest was spread open, with no noticeable distinction between the concrete and her skin. Teeth marks covered her entire body; if you didn't know any better, you'd assume she was ravaged by dogs. The last thing you noticed was the number of nails that had broken off from where she was clawing at the street beneath her.

Your mind went blank, and it felt as if your vision stopped being processed. All you could do was turn away and walk back. 

Where was there else to go? 

Like the angel she is, Charlie went outside, passing fliers around, and that's when she came across you, huddled in an alley alone, hiding from danger. It was a vulnerable position. You wish she could have seen you with a pumped chest walking down the street. Instead, you were curled within yourself, head in your knees. 

When she touched your shoulder, you jumped. Her red eyes held a softness you didn't expect from anybody down here. She had an ethereal beauty. A goddess?

Behind her was another woman who looked at you skeptically as if your presence was some sort of trap. You pursed your lips the moment they opened their mouths to talk to you.

You looked at her wary, no words coming from you. What was there to say? 

The white-haired woman puts her hand on her shoulder and leans in, seeming to whisper something with a straight face. The kind-looking woman's mouth forms, and O before her eyes show panic; she pulls out her phone, typing slowly, reading over her words a million times.

'Hi! My name is Charlie, and this is my girlfriend, Veggie. We want to help you.'

And then she holds out a flier.

It's hand-drawn with sketch-like handwriting. Unconsciously, you tilt your head, squinting at it. Redemption? In the religion you were raised with, what you learned to be 'Heaven' was only for heroes. You are anything but.

However, maybe this hotel is a chance to prove yourself. 

You clench the paper.

Also free housing. It's not the worst offer.

Even though you know they don't understand, you sign a fine, your hands waving synonymously in front of you.

Your smile is all Charlie needed. She jumps up and down, holding a hand out for you, which you take without hesitation. 

Considering this recruitment a success, she puts an end to her mission and instead walks you to the hotel. She holds your hand the entire time, talking to Vaggie, her eyes wide with admiration towards both her and you.

The familiar bright blues and purples suddenly look more pleasant, especially with how they highlight her red suit. She sticks out like a sore thumb, but as a protector of you, it's comforting.

The worst part about the walk isn't the monsters around you but the hill. With the lack of food and energy in your system, each step was a nightmare. But alas, the big red door was in front of you, and Vaggie was the one who opened it. 

The interior reminded you of home, but definitely Hell's interpretation of it. Gorgeous lights, flower pots and pillars with statues filled the lobby. A bar with a cat hardly caught your attention. To be honest, that was like home, too. She must have noticed your amazement; she threw you a thumbs up, which you tilted your head at but returned. 

Unlike the other denizens in Hell, you were reserved, trying your best to keep your eyes on Charlie as she typed on her phone. 

'Do you want me to show you around? :D'

You shook your head. You signed a quick no, trying to soften the motion, worrying it appeared aggressive. You lifted your eyebrows in an attempt to show gratitude. Though she seemed disappointed, she nodded, looking around awkwardly.

That's when the others popped up. A quite freakishly tall man covered in white fur shows up from around a corner, previously sitting on a couch. When he started talking to you, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, hiding your annoyance. Charlie was nice. You knew she'd explain it to him before he could figure it out himself. When you opened your eyes, Vaggie was in front of him, putting a finger on his chest and obviously scolding him. You smiled. 

Charlie shoved the phone in your face. 'That's Angel Dust, and the bartender is named Husk!!!"

Husk, what a lovely name. You took a few steps towards him before noticing Veggie and Angel Dust looking behind you. Your Deaf senses failed you this time. You couldn't even feel the presence behind you. With a slight turn of your head, you used your peripheral to investigate before fully turning when you caught a glance at a man in all red.

Your eyes flickered between him and Charlie, who was nervously laughing, talking with her hands.

The man stared at you with a bright smile, tilting his head and squinting when Charlie finished her sentence.

He held out a hand. You gave in, shaking it. 

You assumed he knew you were Deaf, but he spoke anyway, mouthing something you would never be able to recognize. His pleasantsmile made you nod. With Charlie's smile becoming a bit more genuine, you could only assume it was his attempt at being polite. 

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Breakfast was simple. You cooked every day (refusing to use the stove) and mixed together fruits, using Hell as an excuse to eat dessert in the mornings. You didn't have any company, which was pleasant, as Charlie usually kept a protective eye on you. 

But Alastor started eyeing your morning routine. 

You had been taking a shot at returning to the schedule you had when you were alive. When you were alive, you would wake up at the farm early, feed the animals, and check on the plants. The days in the hotel had been the calmest since you'd died. 

When you finished mixing your bowl, you put a fork in it. You turned to the lounge before being surprised by Alastor at the doorway, having avoided your peripheral. He leaned on his cane, his body language rather cocky. You chewed on the inside of your lip, debating either trying to communicate or just rudely walking past him. Choosing the latter, you tried to slip past him until he stopped you, placing his clawed hand on the doorway at your height. 

You pursed your lips, not pushing your luck by ducking under him.

If he spoke to you knowing you couldn't understand, you would sign to him.

"What?" You signed, swiping your hands in the most annoyed way you could portray. His smile grew at your evident frustration. With that, he simply dropped his hand, gazing down at your brow. There was still a creeping skepticism about if he was letting you off that easy.

But when he turned towards you and lifted his arm, motioning to go ahead, you left the kitchen. This time, you could feel his cane hitting the floor as he followed behind.

Vaggie has informed you about his evil presence. It clicked in an instant that his voice must be used as a way to mock you. He was like any other person, seeing your deafness as a weakness. You could never escape. This truly was Hell.

He sat on the couch across from you, crossing his legs, summoning a newspaper, and reading it. You eyed him. Fine. 

You ate, not focusing on anything else, just trying to enjoy the peacefulness of the morning, which was impossible due to his presence. Your eyes remained on the floor.

Kill me.

His cane repeatedly hit the floor, and you instinctively looked up. His attention stayed on you briefly before turning the newspaper around. The headline read, I'm afraid I've not had the pleasure of knowing your name.

Before you could lift your hand to fingerspell out of spite, he lifted the newspaper higher, showing a spot for a signature. A pen summoned next to you, and the newspaper, folded by your side.

This is ridiculous. 

You unfolded it, noticing all the other words were gone, leaving only room at the bottom for you to write.

So you did, giving in. You wrote your name in the best English you could muster before returning it. He stood, softly grabbing the newspaper from your hand, too soft for your liking, and read your name over.

Without acknowledgment, his eyelids dropped, and he walked away, no longer using his cane.

You turned your head to look at him. He turned his neck and looked at you as well, his smile more mischievous than anything. God, did he trick you or something? Your face heated up.

No. There was no flashing green light like Vaggie said he could do. 

Then what was his problem?

At least now you could finish your breakfast in peace.

[lovekenney]

Credits: turtleshellschocked (on Reddit)

“Teen girl Karen with a mentally ill mother, emotionally abusive deadbeat narcissistic father, and 30-something year old spouse cheating on her with her mother, was not prepared or equipped to be a mother so she tried to get rid of her baby. First, she attempted to get a late term abortion, then when was she denied she planned to give the baby up for adoption and once she actually had the baby she learned they were special needs and disabled and would require all her time, energy, and resources to raise and started mentally deteriorating due to this realization and her fluctuating post-pregnancy hormones. She was forced to have an unwanted child and lost it when it become more apparent her life as she knew it was over once that child was actually born. Karen went from a straight A honors student who was determined to put her and her mother into a better situation after graduating high school to now being a teenage mother with a mentally challenged child. She was overwhelmed and at a loss for what to do and visibly distraught over the fact. She had no proper guidance to get her through any part/aspect of this situation: she had a reckless and poor teenage boyfriend, an incredibly stupid hebephilic husband who only wanted her for sex and shelter, and a completely unstable and toxic positive mother who romanticized the situation of her teen pregnancy from the beginning. Add onto that, complete deadbeat moron Frank who wanders her halls leeching on her mother and her own absent father who is of no help whatsoever (literally abandoned his family he never cared about to begin with). At that point she decided the best choice would be to surrender her baby to law enforcement so they could place the child in foster care or assign them to a different family but her adulterous mother once again betrays her and tells her she is not allowed to give up her own baby as long as she has something to say about it and tells her daughter to her face that she chooses her grandchild over her—over her daughter SHE brought into the world, decided to raise knowing she was mentally unwell, and who has been nothing but protective and loyal to her her whole life. Karen then leaves home and goes completely off the rails after spending a year as helpless, defenseless teen girl walking the streets of Chicago alone, unarmed, and vulnerable. When she returns, she tries to smooth things out with Lip now realizing he's the closest person she has to someone she can rely on since he's the only one who's declared to love her without turning his back on her or proving entirely incompetent and incapable of tangibly helping her.”

[renmorris]

the class commentaries in Hammer's Frankenstein movies are never particularly subtle

Victor is a wealthy man who abuses the bodies of the working class and disabled in every possible way, from literally using his position at a poorhouse to steal limbs and organs from the most vulnerable people in his community to preying sexually on his maid and orchestrating her death when he’s done with her.

he degrades every single person he entangles into a collection of useful parts and functions and does away with the rest, sinking to lower and lower means as the series progresses and he refines his science.

his monsters are never truly evil but he taints them through his own violence. the original monster's brain is irreparably damaged when Victor murders the man he’s stealing it from. and the second 'monster' is a disabled man, who flees from Victor's 'care' once he realizes that he’ll be toured and put on display like an animal.

the premise of Must Be Destroyed goes far beyond mad science shlock, as Victor inserts himself insidiously into the lives of a couple who are just trying their best to provide for a sick relative. he blackmails them and takes over their home, has them at his beck and call while they become all the more isolated and powerless to escape.

it’s a very natural progression of the previous films and I vaguely knew the premise but I was still really caught off guard by just how goddamn scary he is in this one

[imholtorf]

Which ROTTMNT characters you would date?

I'll be describing the characters from Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that you would want to date. Leave your answer in the comments.

Raphael

Raphael is the oldest of the turtle brothers (unlike his other counterparts), he is the leader of the TMNT, instead of Leonardo. He has a large muscular body that you can't help but feel attracted to him. He is exuberant (otherwise cheerful) and passionate, though he can impulsive, not rationalizing before making a decision.

Raph has a soft side, he's tender and kind. He'll always protect the people he loves and comforts them.

Leonardo

Though Leo made be frustrating to deal with, he's arrogant, wanting to prove himself he's the best, doesn't take things seriously and puts full faith in himself instead of others. But, when you get to know him better, you'll see that under the surface he's really just insecure and just wants to be accepted by others, wants to be more than "the face man". You can find him relatable that you want be accepted by others and be more than what you are. Leo would see the error of his ways and would willing to make it up for it.

There are times when he decides to be serious and sensible, he would use his charisma and relaxed, flexible nature to sway to you when you're down on your luck.

If you like a person who is flamboyant, Leo would be your type.

Dontatello

If you have a thing for nerds or geniuses, Donnie's your man. He has high intellect and skills on technology and general sciences. If, there's something technology you really want, Donnie would be the one to build it for you. He can be annoying when he brags about his high intelligence, he will describe his latest inventions at length, not realizing he maybe boring the others.

Donnie has a fear of being nothing without his brains and tech, but you'll be the one to encourage him that it's him who's important to you, not his tech.

Donnie is autistic (confirmed by the creator) as he struggles to understand certain basic human emotions and emotional outbursts, which you can relate to him how difficult it can be when you have a disability.

But, his emotional experiences are very different from the average person. Donnie can be a terrible liar, as you can easily tell by his expression and the tone of his voice.

Donnie has a passive-aggressive streak that takes people off-guard. You can be his lab partner, but his workshop is personally off-limits.

Michelangelo

If you like someone who is playful and lighthearted, Mikey is your guy. He is intuitive, able to adopt new skills quickly, determine others' problems, and at times accurately predict situational outcomes.

Mikey is creative at heart and he uses his creativity in various ways. He is family-oriented and compassionate, Mikey is openly sentimental and encourages others' emotional vulnerability.

Mikey has three personas he created: Doctor Delicate Touch, Doctor Feelings, and Doctor Positive. To deliver a harsh truth in his "Doctor Delicate Touch" method, Mikey often starts off being sweet, but quickly becomes angry and frank. Doctor Feelings uses his emotional intelligence to advise others, and Mikey faces issues with determined optimism as Doctor Positive.

Mikey never gives up and puts faith in himself and others.

Hamato Yoshi/Splinter

It would be surprising why would anyone want to date Splinter? Considering the fact that he's absent-minded, lazy, stir up mischief and trouble with his sons, but don't let his appearance fool you.

Back in his younger years, before his mutation. He was movie star as Lou Jitsu, he was famous all over even Foot Lieutenant and Foot Brute are fans of him despite being unaware that he's a member of the Hamato clan. He is also the Battle Nexus champion in Hidden City.

His appearance is mixed of Elvis Presley and Bruce Lee, that would make fawn all over him.

He is a very skilled martial artist that no human or creature can beat him, which give Baron Draxum the idea to infuse his DNA with the mutagen on the turtles. Yoshi did vowed to put his fighting aside, he's not afraid to fight in order to escape Draxum's lab with the turtles.

After, he got mutated, he choose to raise the turtles he rescued as his sons. Splinter maybe extremely flawed and doesn't spend much time in family outings, but he deeply cares for his sons.

Long ago before he ever became Lou Jitsu. When he was a young child in Japan, he listens the story of the Shredder from his grandfather Hamato Sho. Then on the spring day, his mother, Hamato Atsuko left her father and son so that she could perform her clan duty, which devasted Yoshi.

For many years, his grief over his mother leaving him made him bitter towards his own clan, disbelieving the existence of the Shredder, and decided to abandon his family duties.

You can feel bad for him, knowing what it's like to lose someone you're close to and with a reason to resent your clan or family.

Splinter may not be the young charming man that he was in the past, but he is full of surprises.

"Age has its privileges"

Baron Draxum

If you're interested in dating a villain, Draxum is the one. This Yōkai looks very amazing in his mask and bodysuit, and even has his minions: Huginn and Muninn lay on his shoulders acting like shoulder pads.

Although, he does desire to take over Earth's surface by mutating all the humans for his mutant army. But, you cannot deny his skills in combat and alchemy, even his powers, he can grow vines out of nowhere, he can create portals, and made gauntlets out of plant-like substances. If you have a taste for theatrics, Draxum is the one, he does his speeches in a dark manner and overall dramatic posing.

He may resent towards humans, and is responsible for Splinter and the turtles' mutation years ago, but he would become more sympathetic to the humans when he developed a friendship with April O'Neil.

When he was reformed, he can be hard to open up, so you have to take with him slowly.

April O'Neil

If you're looking for someone who is adventurous? April O'Neil is your girl.

She is upbeat, quick-witted, selfless, and go-with-the-flow, she is very brave and is quick to jump into action, she is not afraid to put up fight on anyone: human, mutant, creature, or animatronic.

She has a forgiving nature, she's very loyal to her friends and family, and she'll always be by their side.

Cassandra Jones

Cassandra Jones or Casey Jones may be a tough one to date with, she can be intense, do frantic speech pattern, and the tendency to shout.

But, when you get to know her better, you'll get use to her behavior.

Sunita

She made be a slimy Yōkai, but Sunita is enthusiastic, fun-loving, and feisty, embracing herself as a Yōkai in everyday life. She enjoys trying out new things and is open to experiencing all the sights and activities New York City has to offer. Sunita isn't afraid to fight and defend others.

[comradekatara]

Toko? I’m interested since their dynamic is so under explored despite a lot of potential!

@leantailean asked: Zuko/Toph?

I definitely think that a lot of work has been put into zuko’s flustered blush in the “i’m going with zuko!” moment, but really, if someone you didn’t know very well grabbed your arm and proudly proclaimed that she wanted to spend time with you, you would get flustered too, assuming you were also the awkwardest boy in the whole world.

I do think their dynamic is very interesting in terms of foilage. toph is in a unique position to empathize with zuko not only because she was never subjected to his violence, but because she is also an abused disabled aristocrat who ran away from home to join the avatar. she’s really only heard about zuko through iroh, so she’s positioned to show him far more affection and understanding than the rest of group, who also foil him of course, but in far less materially concrete ways.

I do imagine them eventually developing a lovely friendship postwar, with toph sort of acting as zuko’s personal lie detector (he needs someone to help him pick up on social cues so bad), but as it stands, there isn’t much there wrt their friendship. toph is the one giving every time (empathy, advice, vulnerability), and zuko never actually gives anything back (besides simply burning her feet, which was an accident, he is also quite rude to her on their pseudo-field trip, which is understandable considering how stressed he is, but also, not great). toph is a very understanding and sympathetic person, but if zuko doesn’t make an effort to be kinder to the twelve year old child who has been nothing but gracious and helpful to him, at some point they will hit a wall.

as for romantic potential, this ship has always kind of baffled me because I truly see none whatsoever (sorry i guess). besides just the age gap, which i’ve already discussed as a sort of nonstarter involving many of these ships, and besides the kind of obvious (to me, at least) fact that they are truly the gayest members of the gaang, there’s the fact that zuko would simply be an awful boyfriend to toph, for the reasons i’ve listed above. to be frank, i don’t even think he knows her name.

i’m not saying i ship tokka, but i don’t really understand why anyone who ships toph with zuko (bad bf, doesn’t care about her, very little onscreen development) doesn’t just ship her with sokka (very good bf, her best friend, the central figure in her life, shielded her with his body from falling debris and held her hand with everything he had at the end of the world as they prepared to die together, etc etc) considering the age gap wouldn’t be a barrier (it is to me of course, but ymmv). i think the only real appeal is that people just wanna smash two fan-favorite characters together without really considering whether it narratively makes sense for them to do so. shrug

[chronicallycouchbound]

Internalized Ableism As Means For Unhoused Survival

We need to dissect the cultural context of homelessness as it relates to disability. I’ve spent most of my life unhoused, while also being a disabled person who didn’t have a clear understanding that I was disabled, and both of these experiences had huge impacts on my experiences of ableism, especially internalized.

It needs to be understood that it’s not always rooted in internalized ableism for someone to not identify as disabled, especially regarding physical disabilities. Including choosing to hide disability, pain, or weakness. It also includes choosing not to use mobility aids or other assistive devices that could, in theory, be helpful for their day-to-day life. Instead, they grit their teeth through the pain or find alternatives to manage. This is akin to (and may overlap with) autistic masking.

Being on the streets comes with a culture that allows for strength to often guarantee safety. The ability to physically defend yourself, carry your belongings, withstand harsh weather, use survival expertise, etc. are often necessary skills. Showing weakness is vulnerability. Vulnerability allows for situations where you are more likely to be targeted because attackers can recognize your difficulties and take advantage of them. This danger is amplified if you are a part of other marginalized groups.

When I was a young queer and trans person growing up on the streets, my homelessness was inextricably linked to those experiences. If I were to seem like I was disabled, I was putting myself in a more vulnerable position. Once I started using mobility aids on the streets, I experienced significantly more dangerous situations than I had before. I faced more direct physical violence and threats as a result of it. It wasn’t just me fearing that I might face judgment for being visibly disabled, it was that I was facing real-world repercussions, both within the unhoused and housed community. I was targeted by housed people frequently due to the inherent publicity of unhoused experiences.

Unhoused people spend significantly more time in public. As a currently unstably housed person, but housed nonetheless, I have the privilege of privacy for my pain. I can crawl in my apartment freely without anyone literally kicking me while I’m down. I can scream, I can sob, I can dissociate, I can do whatever I need to, with or without aids, and not face violence from the people around me.

I also have access to more supportive aids just by having housing. I now have in-home care attendants, something that was impossible without a home. I have a bed I can rest in at any time. I have a microwave for hot pads. I have a bathroom. I have electricity. I have food. These things were never guaranteed while unhoused and disabled. Unsurprisingly, I have significantly fewer emergency room trips, unmanageable flares, missed doctor appointments, etc. now that I have even unstable housing.

When you have more time in the public eye, there are more opportunities for facing ableism and houseism from the general populace. Those two experiences intertwined, and being chronically homeless, led to me having to navigate internalized ableism as a survival skill because there was a direct link to the ableism I faced daily.

Some disabled people on the streets, especially if they can’t hide their disability, feel more pressure to present themselves as inspiration porn. Inspiration porn panders to ableist narratives about disabled experiences, and can even give you an edge while panhandling. It also acts as a protective factor, there’s a mindset that if you’re not held back by disability, then you are not disabled. Thus, your disability cannot be exploited by others, and you are just as strong as a physically abled person. It’s something we do because we have to in order to survive, whether or not we’re conscious of the ableist narratives we’re feeding into.

There are times when I have to choose to do actions that are more harmful for me, such as presenting as more abled, for my immediate safety. I have to weigh the risks, and often, the risk of being attacked is far greater than the risk of falling, fainting, or being injured. This is not internalized ableism, it isn’t subconscious, it is for protection. Presenting as disabled is difficult enough, but when other marginalizations are added to it, it is exponentially more dangerous. Even more so than it is for me to not use aids or to not accept help at times.

If I wasn’t able to be recognized as disabled, I was granted more privileges akin to those my able-bodied peers automatically receive. If a bathroom wasn’t accessible for me, but I did my best with it instead of asking for accommodations (which is often seen as being picky, needy, or ungrateful) then I was more likely to be allowed to use that bathroom again. The same goes for couch surfing at a friend's house, needing to carry everything I own up three flights of stairs, if I didn’t mention that it was difficult for me or said no to help, then I was being a good guest by not making my hosts uncomfortable. Making concessions like this whenever I could gave me more access to safety.

When my disabilities became more serious, and I wasn't able to keep making concessions, I would fall in that bathroom, I would faint on the stairs, and I immediately was more unsafe. I couldn’t hide my disability anymore, the choice was taken from me. No amount of pandering to abled people would make me able to do those things anymore. For me, that felt like a personal failure. I had been told my whole life that I could and should push through my disabling symptoms and conditions, and I took that as fact. Not being able to do that was a heavy and horrifying feeling for me.

It’s taken years (and is an ongoing process) to find safe enough spaces where I can ask for help. Where I can freely use mobility aids, show my actual pain, wear braces, wear compression garments, cry, rest, and otherwise exist as my disabled self without being harmed. It’s taken equally as long (and is still ongoing) to find grace within myself and advocate for the accommodations I need and actually use them. I still struggle with the pressure to feed into inspiration porn, something that the cripple reclamation movement is focused on deconstructing. I struggle with accepting help, asking for help, or even looking like I might need help. But I also recognize that beautiful things can happen when I get what I need.

It heals internalized houseism to be dismantling my internalized ableism, and vice versa.

Unhoused disabled people are allowed to be weak. Unhoused disabled people are allowed to cry, to scream, to be in pain, to ask for help. Unhoused disabled people are allowed to be human, just like everyone else.

[notjustjavierpena]

Hi, can I ask you why you specifically chose Frankie x disabled!reader?

Hiya Anon, what a great question! 

I have a few reasons why I chose Frankie Morales. I’ll try listing them without turning my answer into a whole thesis on the importance of using your experiences to normalize certain things that are somewhat taboo. I started out thinking that my choice of character was random but as I started writing, a few things became evident:

I have little to no relationship with writing Frankie which allowed me to have a blank canvas and therefore not be influenced by previous reader and Frankie dynamics.

From what I know about Frankie, he has an open, boyish, and down-to-earth attitude. He is often portrayed in fanfiction as serious when need be, kind-hearted, and emotionally intelligent which are traits that I would feel comfortable with if I were to be intimate with a stranger I meet at a bar (spoiler alert). He seems like the kind of character who takes things as they come - without the womanizing demeanor that Javier has and the tall and brooding attitude that Joel sports - and is an open communicator.

A few days ago, I jokingly made a post about not seeing myself represented in mainstream self-insert and that Joel should carry me in his big and strong arms. In all honesty, not seeing disabled readers does not bother me much but it might be a result of not even getting the bare minimum in general media either. The post resulted in a few fics being gifted to me. I love that. It’s a beautiful thing that we want to do these stories for each other. 

It would be a lie if I said half of me writing this one now is not wanting to do even better. It is a very vulnerable position to put especially wheelchair users in to describe their sex lives when you are an able-bodied person. I still don’t know how comfortable I am at times with able-bodied people writing disabled characters because I fear they won’t put in the effort, time, and research. 

Able-bodied people will never understand how intimate and sexy our sex lives are. Being close to a person who you trust is always beautiful but it is quite special for us. I will have to trust you 100% to be intimate with you because I have so limited mobility; I need readjusting along with my long and slow kisses. We can’t get away from you, and isn’t that equally gorgeous and terrifying? And who else could portray that better if not us?

However, despite it all, it also feels frustrating to know that I get three fics to see myself in (some written by me!) and others start non-confrontational wars that flood my dashboard about physical descriptors (e.g. leaning up for a kiss) when I cannot even walk. Perhaps that is overstating it, and obviously, everyone can feel upset in their own way about anything, but if I want entertainment tailored to me, I cannot and if I want a shred of an audience, I need to exclude myself (and I honestly don’t mind).

Anyway… Frankie simply makes me feel safest.

[theantarwitch]

About Comfort Zone and why is wrong used - Long Rant

Lately I been seeing a ton of people talking about the Comfort Zone, about how we can only grow if we step out it and all that, but mostly everyone forget to mention a little detail: The majority of the people have no Comfort Zone.

Let's back to the roots and copy and paste what wikipedia say about it: A comfort zone is a familiar psychological state where people are at ease and (perceive they are) in control of their environment, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress. Bardwick defines the term as "a behavioral state where a person operates in an anxiety-neutral position." Brené Brown describes it as "Where our uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized—where we believe we'll have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control.

So, the basic "rules" of the Comfort Zone says:

A) People must at ease and in basic control of their environment.

B) People are experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress.

C) The uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized.

D) With well access to the basic needs (food, water, shelter, health care, hygiene, money, love, education, clothes, sleep, security... Pretty much the 3 basic levels of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs)

So, if you "fail" in some of the 4 basic "rules" of the Comfort Zone, you pretty much didn't have Comfort Zone.

Let's breal up that thing a little...

If you are not at ease (disconfort, anger, pain, sadness, uneasy, worried, etc), you are lacking Comfort Zone.

If you are not control of your environment (toxic/ traumatic house, abusive relationship, under manipulation, migration, homeless, disabled, etc), you are lacking Comfort Zone.

If you are experiencing high levels of anxiety and stress (pathologically high, unhealthy levels of it, panic attacks, floating anxiety, depression, PTSD, mostly all the mental illnesses), you are lacking Comfort Zone.

If you are uncertain, in scarcity and vulnerability (be part of a minority, experience racism, bullying, LGTBQIA+phobia, fatphobia, etc) and lacking some of the basic human needs, you are lacking Comfort Zone.

And if you are experiencing ALL OF THAT, you have NO Comfort Zone.

Now, let's have in mind the kind of world we are living currently... Many of us didn't have not even the basic level of the damn Maslow's pyramid and we have a "bingo" of a lack of all the 4 basic rules.. and the huge majority at least lack one of them... Why keep pushing about the Comfort Zone?

As a start, the main objetive of the Comfort Zone is self growth, things that are over the two basic layers of the damn pyramid. You NEED to have you BASIC NEEDS satisfied to focus in self growth. I'm not saying that you CAN'T pursue self growth if you are lacking them, but trully, your energy and mind have more urgent things to attend...

Example, myself. I lack of money and health care, I struggle with afford food and basic bills, I'm disabled and VERY neurodivergent, I suffer of Chronic Clinical Depression and Chronic Pain (with no meds and treatment because lol money) and I have problems to sleep, besides another huge chunck of issues. Do I try to grow as a person? OF COURSE! But I will not put myself on risk, for it. I need to grow in a way that I will not collapse because I haven't my basic needs covered. I DON'T HAVE COMFORT ZONE, so my growth must adapt to the little I can afford myself to do. I can't step over my Comfort Zone because I DIDN'T HAVE ONE TO START.

I repeat, you can't leave your Comfort Zone if you don't have it.

So, for the love of Maslow, people, stop to suggest to everyone to "step out the Comfort Zone" when, except some lucky ones (eat the rich), mostly of the normal people is struggling with not become homeless.

It feels invasive, like pushing us, and make us think that we are not growing enough and getting mentally better because we don't go out our "Comfort Zone". Feels like if you are drowing and some say "haha now try to swim with a shark and touch it, you will grow with that experience"... I'M DROWNING, I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T EVEN OPEN MY EYES UNDER WATER, HOW I WILL TOUCH A SHARK?

Next time, be gently, be empathic. Self growth is great, but do it in a safe gentle way, that there are enough suddenly events in real life that will kick you out of your Comfort Zone by force, or even break your Comfort Zone, sometimes to the point that you will not have anything left.

Stop pushing, stop to add struggles when you are struggling every second of your life. Prioritize. You will have until the last second of your life to grow as a person, focus in your safety. Focus in create your Comfort Zone, in making it bigger, stronger. I want to see you happy, healthy and safe. I love you.

Edit: Someone also explain it amazingly here