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#and you can hear that it is definitely a genuine apology but his statement of 'i didn't mean to' doesn't sound regretful it sounds confused
itaehynz · 2 months
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three’s a (choi) charm! ˙ ⋆ . ˚ ☆
22. DRIVING ME MAD.
warnings: angst, profanity, mentions of violence, 50/50 written + smau, all from beomgyu’s pov.
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jungkook asking to meet up on short notice was not what i expected to happen during my summer. definitely not what i wanted either. when it comes to all three of us, jungkook is very assertive and doesn’t focus on what’s really happening, he mainly focuses on getting a solution.
he doesn’t like when any of us argue because we tend to hold grudges and wait it out rather than ever speaking about it. i don’t think this could be fixed, though.
this is the worst argument we’ve ever had.
usually, things would be fixed by a little help from wooyoung or heeseung… this time, it’s different. everyone has played a different role in this.
mainly me.
“you know why you three are here, right?” jungkook starts off, pinching his nose bridge in aggravation. i glance over at my two cousins, watching as they sit with their faces showing clear annoyance.
i speak up first, “yes,” i say. as the words leave my mouth, i hear yeonjun suck his teeth. i close my eyes briefly, hoping that with this conversation will come with a chance to apologize properly, face to face.
jungkook hears him as well, now glaring at him. “and what the hell is your problem, yeonjun?” he asks. yeonjun’s head perks up at the sound at jungkook’s voice, catching him off guard. he waves a hand in front of his face, as a way of saying that there’s no problem, to which i roll my eyes at.
“no, there’s clearly a problem here. i know what it is too, but let me explain one thing. the issue at hand is stupid because if you were to dumb it down for a little kid, it’d be said as fighting over a girl. y’know that, right?”
soobin chuckles at his statement, making it known that he was thinking the same thing. yeonjun looks over at him, clearly offended, “the hell are you laughing at, soobin? you’re acting as if you haven’t been doing the same shit.” he says, slowly getting in soobin’s face.
“i’m not acting any type of way, yeonjun. i haven’t had to fight over y/n because i’ve been waiting my fucking turn instead of pushing someone to go on a date with them, and to a dance studio? come on dude, we know you like dancing but do better.”
yeonjun scowls, grabbing at soobin’s shirt collar and staring him down as if he were about to put his hands on him. before anything else can happen, mingyu speaks up.
“boys, relax. yeonjun, get your hands off soobin.”
yeonjun sucks his teeth once more, but proceeds to take his hands from his soobin’s collar. me on the other hand, i was genuinely worried to see anything go off in yeonjun. before i can think any further on what i saw, i hear jungkook speak again.
“beomgyu, what’s been wrong with you?” he asks.
i simply look at him, forming my lips into a tight line. “it’s like you said, i’ve been fighting over a girl with these two, mainly yeonjun.”
jungkook nods his head, glad i’ve shockingly came to my senses. “i did a lot of petty stuff, and i can see how it’s taken a toll on the relationship the three of us have—”
“had.” yeonjun adds.
jungkook’s eyes quickly dart over to yeonjun in anger. “yeonjun, he’s your goddamn cousin. stop being a fucking dick, he’s clearly trying to apologize,”
“no the hell he’s not, he’s trying to make it seem as if i’m the bad guy. as he always does,” yeonjun says, now glaring at me. “yeonjun, i’m really not trying to make you upset—”
“beomgyu, say one more fucking thing and i swear i’m going to punch the shit out of you. you’ve been getting on my nerves since two days ago,” he cuts me off.
“yeonjun. calm the fuck down, you’re beginning to piss me off as well. beomgyu, he’s being an ass.” he tells me as i lay back in my seat.
yeonjun’s officially seemed to have enough. he gets up from his seat, picking up his things, looking down at his phone. “my flight is no longer delayed, i’ll be on my way now.”
“on your way where, yeonjun? i’m not finished speaking with the three of you.” jungkook says. yeonjun simply just rolls his eyes and says, “away. i don’t want to be with these two anymore, and since nobody’s trying to fucking understand my perspective, it doesn’t seem like i’m welcomed here anyway.”
he says before walking back to his car, driving off without even looking back.
soobin pinches his nose bridge, getting up as well. “i have a flight to catch as well, i’d better be on my way. goodbye, jungkook, mingyu… beomgyu.”
i watch as both yeonjun and soobin go, leaving me with nothing to say. stuck thinking on if we’re ever going to be able to fix this situation.
with how things are going, i don’t think i’ll ever get my cousins back.
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MASTERLIST ☆ NEXT ★ PREVIOUS
TAGLIST: @https-yeonjun, @sugaringgcaramel, @boba-beom, @ur-mother-realnotclickbait, @yawn-zi, @txtbrainrot, @soobsfairy444, @wonunuwoo, @coconutjjun, @headlockimnida, @dinosluver, @gwookie, @yourenzoo, @bunnyeonny, @eclipse-777, @lun4kazumii, @h00nerz, @soobjvn, @bam2gyuuuu, @gardnhee, send an ask or shoot me a dm to be added! ^^ (bold — can’t be tagged)
A/N: well.
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shehungthemoon · 9 months
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Just dumping my Ina Paha thoughts here. 🙃
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First of all I did NOT know it was the 100th episode going into this, so i was very confused watching the montage at the end lol
I also had to click out and make sure I didn't click the wrong episode when the Pilot started playing at the beginning. When I heard Danny's voice on the phone instead of Hesse's I swear I got whiplash
It's filmed so well (bar where they reshot the pilot where Steve gets Danny on the phone instead of a dead dad, in which they literally forgot to put the same filter over the scene to make the stitching coherent) and I absolutely love the camera work they did with the white-room and the video projections. It felt very much a level above normal network television cinematography, especially the parts where Steve's going in and out of the hallucinations.
Steve finally FINALLY killing Wo-Fat was so cathartic, it should have happened ages ago but I'm willing to look past all the dumb ways he survived just to allow this incredible ending to his story.
Ina Paha gave me Kono doing... this. I owe Grace Park my whole life. Pls costuming department put her in hot pink again 💗
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yes, it was a Steve episode. but Danny REALLY shone, first as the only resident Actual Detective figuring out what happened to Steve by the tire-tracks, rampaging through the compound steadily and efficiently and knocking people off without a pause, and then in Steve's mind shooting Hesse's kneecaps off?!?!?! That was CRAZY and probably not suppose to be as hot as it was and definitely made me want an ex-mobster AU immediately. Basically I have a competency kink and really like badass!danny shit 😊
Seeing Chin's long hair again made me swoon
My jaw dropped when I saw Jenna! I think it's really interesting that Steve still thinks of her so much, and I was surprised that she showed up in both the actual dreams and the montage. I definitely underestimated how much she impacted Steve's life, it seems, and I hate that we'll never hear him address that and we'll only know about it inadvertently like this.
(hand over the heart for how lori got like. one team shot. poor girlie.)
⭐I took the montage at the end as being flashbacks and memories that Steve was having as he left the compound. Looking at it through that lens certainly makes one unwell.
Obligatory squeal for Adam appearing just to save the day :))) look below to see the love of my life! :)))))) ⬇⬇⬇
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Of course, the obligatory mcdanno bullet(s). It writes itself! The way Danny said Steve's name so small and broken when he found him. The way they look at each other on the ground, the pain their faces. I need an official apology statement from Scott and Alex for it. Can we talk about what flashes by during the montage at the end? (IMO it being Steve's memories.) So much Danny.
The first thing is Danny and Steve's first meeting. Jfc. The showrunners milk it SO MUCH and who's complaining
The big, rocking hug. The hands clasping underground. Gracie of course. And then Danny collapsing from the bioweapon, which to be honest I was NOT expecting to see at all--it felt like a genuinely strange choice to include in there and it really ONLY makes sense if you go along with all that being what Steve's remembering. Even then, I was surprised to see it, so basically this is Hawaii Five-Oh making mcdanno gayer than even I was wanting them to be. Steve still thinks about that? From so long ago? Even with so many other close calls in between then and now? Good fucking lord ok then loverboy that's WILD. Canon accepted ig this show is just pure whump.
Danny goes through all of this just days after losing his brother and killing Reyes. JFC can we please address that. I need a 30k introspection fic to let me into this man's mind rn.
The Wo Fat v.s. Steve fight at the end was INCREDIBLE. I would love to give the choreographer's hand a shake, it's some of the best work I've seen on television in a long time. It was impressive for a procedural like this. It was long and physical and you truly didn't know what the outcome was going to be; it everything that their built-up relationship deserved for a conclusion. It also happening with a Steve coming off of hours of torture and drugging was crazy (guess we finally know who would win a PVP if they were both at full strength!). That being said I was really impressed with Wo Fat's capabilities and physical prowess, I was not expecting it to be so even and close to the line. I actually jumped when Steve LIFTED him up into the lighting fixture. We do not talk about Steve's (Alex's???) raw upper-body strength enough.
Anyway. Electricity in the water play. The physicality hell that this gif below is ⬇. Fire extinguishers and loaded needles. Crazy martial arts. Chair and buckets (holy shit did y'all see the force with which Wo Fat SHOT that bucket?????) flying. All's fair. I loved it.
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The shot going right through the forehead, clean. I don't know how to put into words why that's so monumental to me but it is.
The mystery bad lady was SO intriguing, I wish we got more from her... How does she know Wo Fat? Why was she entrusted with all that information on him and Steve and especially Doris? Absolutely where did she come from, what was her name? Why did I have a huge huge hot crush on her? All important questions. (Goes to show that h50 CAN give us some more genuine badass, not just there to date someone women characters, just explicitly choose not to. I'm holding out for Ellie to remain platonic so hard right now.)
Almost forgot Danny in that black Hawaiian shirt. Will be whimpering over that image forever. The whole episode I was trying to focus on the underlining betrayal mystery they were laying out but every time my brain started working too hard Scott with his stupid waist and those flower patterns just started flashing into my head
Again, are you seeing this:
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I'm unwell and so so happy.
H50 you're a gem when you want to be.
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noodyl-blasstal · 10 months
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Riddle me what now?
Coming in just under the wire for @taznovembercelebration - today's prompt card was "missing piece" and it's short and silly.
Read below or on Ao3
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"Hey, Krav, the guy came back in." Says Barry, like they don't work in a shop, like they don't see literally every guy in the world all day long every single day.
"Oh, okay, the guy, sure." Kravitz rolls his eyes to make sure Barry is aware he's taking the piss.
"You know the one, The Guy, not A Guy."
Kravitz looks at Barry as blankly as that statement deserves.
Barry huffs and adds, "the one with the hair!" As if that's a helpful fact, something useful to really help Kravitz nail down the mysterious guy's identity.
"Did he also have a face?" Kravitz asks sweetly.
"Fuck off, I'm trying to help you. He was the one you liked, with the stupid name."
Oh. It was Taako. Taako came back?
"He asked for you. Well, he asked for 'the goth hottie' so I'm making some assumptions, but you know." Barry gestures to himself and his work juniform. Kravitz still has no idea how Barry conned Kravitz into agreeing to the japron. "I'm assuming it wasn't me."
Kravitz finishes retying his sensible, stylish, black apron and picks up his black gouge. Out of the two of them there was no competition as to who fit the description. Kravitz, gothily, hotly (according to Taako), examines the train he's working on so he can concentrate on something that isn't this conversation. If he's busy then Barry won't be able to tell exactly how interested he is to hear that Taako thinks he's attractive.
"Oh?" Says Kravitz, all cool and unbothered, giving nothing away.
"And I know you thought he was really hot too, you know, with all the staring you did, and the thing your face is doing right now."
Fuck.
"Er... I... Nuh uh!" Kravitz says, seamlessly refuting Barry's wild accusations.
"So I got his number for you." He says brightly. A small ball of paper bounces off the side of Kravitz's head and lands next to his tools. "There you go!"
"You got his number for me for...?" Kravitz peters out before he can say anything he can't live down, finishing the sentence with 'sex purposes' is exactly what his brain wants him to do and is therefore likely to be a terrible idea.
"What do you mean?" Barry's doing his smug voice which means he knows exactly what Kravitz means and he's torturing him.
"For... You know... Business purposes?" There he did it.
"What else would it be for, bud?" Barry asks sweetly, flipping his conversational trap card. "You said you didn't find him attractive so I assume you wouldn't want it for anything but business reasons."
Was Barry actually going to make him say it with his actual mouth? Kravitz chanced a look over to Barry's work station, he was working intently on the 3d fire puzzle commission, pretending he wasn't invested in getting himself knee deep in Kravitz's love life.
Kravitz unscrumpled the paper on his desk.
"Text me maybe?" Was scrawled next to a number, underneath was Kravitz favourite part "Taako xoxo." That surely couldn't be business kissed, Kravitz read it twice and it definitely wasn't purely professional.
"I'm going to text him." Announces Kravitz.
"Great!" Barry says too quickly. "Just, er, just as an aside, totally separate to whether you and Taako should be dating or not, here." Barry leans over and drops something onto Kravitz's desk. "This is the missing piece of the puzzle he's looking for."
"Barry!"
"Well you were both clearly into each other and neither of you were going to do anything about it. I fixed it." He sounds unnecessarily pleased with himself.
"You took a piece from a finished product so that I'd be better able to hit on a customer?"
"Well when you put it like that it sounds bad..." Barry sounds genuinely upset.
Kravitz sighs. "You can never pull this stunt again, it'll tank our reviews."
"Aye aye cap'n." Barry salutes happily.
Kravitz starts drafting an apology text.
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I hope you enjoyed! You can catch the next prompt here.
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definitely would like to hear your take on this situation! if you feel like sharing ofc!! i feel like everyone shares the same discourse of disappointed but not surprised 😭
i'd love to share !!! i started typing this all out and realized i was not gonna be able to keep it nice and concise so i do rlly apologize this is long LOL
my first point is that just nothing has made my blood boil more than the people who, in defense of matty and in an attempt to ridicule hurt fans, say "this is what you get for idolizing someone," or "but he never claimed to be a good person -- you shouldn't have gotten attached." because while these may be true statements to a certain extent at times, they completely deflect from the actual issue, which is matty's actual behavior
i think a lot of my feelings on this circle back to my own experiences of being in fan spaces starting from like. age 12 all the way up to now. it is so genuinely difficult for young girls especially to enjoy anything without having it minimized or ridiculed simply because it attracts predominantly teen girls/young women. and so when a band like the 1975 shows up, it's wonderful because so many young people feel so welcome and accepted in that space. matty himself has reiterated many times in interviews that he has respect for the intelligent young women that make up the fanbase, and that you can't take your fans' intelligence for granted.
that's part of why it is so disheartening when time and time again he's so ok with openly making lame, weirdly misogynistic jokes at the expense of so many people who care so much about what he does. and it is true that maybe no one should be surprised, but it's so shocking that he has shown zero sign of maturation. he's nearly 34. there's no excuses for him atp.
my friend and i were talking about this, and it came up that matty is in a position of power where he will never have to take substantial action on his own claims of caring about women, or any sort of marginalized group for that matter. it's so deeply frustrating to see that he is clearly capable of compassion and understanding, yet he makes the active choice not to follow that, because he has the privilege of treating everything as a joke.
you can call it a bit, a joke layered in irony, as much as you want, but after awhile it begs the question: is it really a joke anymore? does this really not reflect who he is as a person? because i, personally, am done with people who hide behind the excuse of irony and satire to explain the shit they say. just because it's a joke doesn't mean it's fucking funny!!! like, at all!!!!
not to mention the fact that this band would NOT be where it is now if it weren't for the young women that put so much time and energy into showing the band support and love. and how fucking awful does it feel to have that returned with what i can only rlly describe as the kind of comments a 17 year old little white boy would make. feels awful
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traumasurvivors · 2 years
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Just wanted to say I love hearing about your partner as well. If you have already, I'm sorry for annoying you, but do you think it would be too much trouble to outline what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like, or if not that then signs a relationship is unhealthy. I'm starting to think a lot of things in my relationship...may not be right, though it does feel like it might just be what I get for the times I haven't been a good person to them either. At least, that's what they tell me when I try to bring things up, that the things they do are fine because of the times I haven't been the best. I don't know if you have input on any of this, but thanks for running a helpful blog regardless 😊
Hi anon (you are not annoying me. Unsolicited advice, so you can ignore, but it might feel better for you in the future to say “thank you for reading this!” instead of “I’m sorry…”, it can help reinforce more positive feelings. You have no reason to be sorry. I know that’s easier said than done.)
It is definitely on my list to write a blog post along the lines of “green flags in a relationship”.
In the meantime, I do have a couple posts that might be helpful? They don’t cover everything, but they focus on manipulation which I feel like happens in a lot of bad relationships (even unintentionally).
This is my article on signs of grooming in an adult relationship
And these are signs someone may be manipulating you
While these posts don’t cover everything, the thing you said about “the things they do are fine because of the times I haven’t been my best” raises an alarm in my brain and I think the posts may be relevant. The second article brings up a point along those lines as a sign.
“Do you find that if you ever talk to them about something they've done that upset you, they turn it around and you end up apologizing to them for being upset? Or they may “smokescreen” you where they deflect from the spotlight put on them. You may say “I feel scared when you yell at me” and they may bring up a behaviour of yours that they take issue with. “
I know this stuff can be hard and scary to realize but you deserve to be treated well. Better than well. You deserve someone who goes above and beyond for you.
When I talk about things my partner has done that have upset me (usually completely by accident on his part!) he apologizes, validates my feelings “I’m sorry I hurt you. It wasn’t my intent but I can see how I did”, and then works on changing how he says/does things so that I don’t get upset even if it isn’t something he’s done wrong.
Have I been perfect? No, absolutely not. But we talk about it and once it’s done, it’s done. He never throws my mistakes in my face when it’s convenient for him and same on my end with him.
I’m not here to tell you that your partner is “bad” or that your relationship is “bad”, but that statement you shared really makes me feel worried for you. Please read up more on signs of manipulation and emotional abuse (not just my article, I’m not a professional, but other articles too). The thing is, sometimes people genuinely don’t mean to be abusive or manipulative. But it doesn’t mean that they aren’t being that way. And you deserve to not be treated that way.
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mythologyfolklore · 9 months
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Liù'ěr Míhóu joins the jttw gang, or: How to redeem an all-hearing celestial monkey with a superiority complex and a seriously bad attitude
(A/N: TW: mention of past physical harm, chronic pain and the Six-Eared Macaque being a dick)
Chapter Fourteen: Karmic pain
.
As happy as Tripitaka was, that his two monkey menaces-  disciples got along better now, it also came with a whole new nightmare.
Nothing catastrophic, just … stressful and kind of annoying.
For one, it turned out that Wùhuàn was just as mischievous as Wùkōng.
They also still bickered quite a lot to the point, where Tripitaka couldn't tell, if they were teasing each other or fighting.
For another thing, Wùhuàn still called him a slaphead.
“Will you ever stop calling me that?”, the monk asked in exasperation.
Wùhuàn shrugged: “Sure, when you stop being a slaphead. Besides, that bald head of yours is so slappable!” And emphasised his statement by clapping the top of Tripitaka's head like a drum, making the monk wince.
“Stop that, it hurts!”
“If you can stand seeing Wùkōng in pain, when you use that cursed headband on him, then you can handle a little sting on your skin. I know fully well, that if I had a thing like that, you would use it on me too. But I don't, so you'll have to suck it up and learn to educate through other means than torture. Also, it's just a few light claps on the head. Stop being a whiner.”
The Scripture Pilgrim gasped in offence: “Okay, first of all, I'm not a whiner! I'm complaining!”
“You're a whiner, Master”, Wùkōng dared to pipe up.
To add insult to injury, the other three disciples nodded - including Bái Lóng Mă.
Ouch.
Well, that hit the monk right in the pride he wished he didn't have.
He wasn't supposed to be offended by that. He was supposed to just shrug and smile it off, let it pearl off him like a lotus did with raindrops.
The bitter reminder of his own faults and failure to be a good example as a monk and teacher left a bad taste in his mouth, similar to what he felt, whenever Wùkōng talked about his home.
Tripitaka frowned at the thought, only to be startled back into reality by a gasp and a distressed Wùkōng falling onto his knees.
“I'm sorry, Master! Please forgive me!”, he pleaded. “Please don't say the mantra! I will be good, I swear! I will never say anything negative again! Please, please-”
Huh? But I wasn't angry at Pilgrim? I was … oh. Oh no.
Tripitaka wanted to crouch down and embrace his disciple, but that plan was thwarted by his aching back.
“Stand up, Pilgrim”, he spoke. “I'm not angry at you.”
Wùkōng looked up, blinking. “You … you're not? But … you looked like …”
“I'm not angry at you”, the monk repeated. “Nor will I recite the Tightening Mantra. I was frustrated with myself, nothing more. In fact, I'm the one, who should apologi-aaahhgh!”
“Master?!”
Tripitaka forced a smile. “Don't worry-ngh! It's just … my back …”
He was starting to fear, that Wùhuàn's strike had permanently damaged his spine, because it still incapacitated him as it had two months ago. Actually, the pain seemed to get worse!
Maybe it was karma for all the times he had hurt Wùkōng with the fillet.
“Master, shall I give you a massage?”, offered Zhū Wùnéng.
Enthusiastically, the monk accepted.
His third disciple helped him lie down and began to work his magic hands on him.
After what seemed about an hour, the Pig Demon helped his master put his robe back on, then carefully set him back on his feet.
“Better?”, Wùnéng inquired.
Tripitaka smiled, genuinely this time. “Much better, thank you.”
“You're welcome, Master, but we'll have to see a professional healer about this. I think you have a spinal injury. If we don't get you treatment, the pain will become chronic and you might lose the ability to walk.”
Tripitaka moaned despondently.
Yep. This was definitely karma.
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mr-inkslinger · 17 days
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genuinely a lil heartbreaking to hear someone say that astarion feels... coded. Like he's pan/bi, what about him makes him feel ...coded and not bi? Do what you want and i dont mean to come off like im miffed at you specifically for feeling some type of way about it or having an opinion, I've just seen so much biphobia about the bg3 characters but especially and overwhelmingly when it comes to astarion, its disheartening and sad to hear so many people say that the flamboyant man who often talks about his relations with men Has to be gay and the whole "I can't see him with a woman, sorry girls he's not for you" are actual comments I've seen which is just kinda :( cause he's confirmed pan by a couple people involved in the game and characters creation. just feels like it feeds into a lot of irl rhetoric around bi's being either too gay or too straight to be bi ykwim? Again not meaning to sound pissy with you or anything, obviously its not real so its not that big a deal whatsoever and you're a random person on the internet with thoughts, i think im just more rambling to you about that general idea and the biphobia ive seen from others, sorry about that ❤️ please delete this if you like im a stranger on the internet lmao ly.
Yes, I understand that, I've also retracted my previous statement on my word usage in previous asks on the subject.
It was less intended on being bi erasure, more on I'm getting away from writing content for women for a while. Astarion was just the first I've committed to it, but my subsequent characters will be mostly m!reader. I know it came off shitty, a lot of the time when I post things like that, it's when I'm drinking and don't give a damn about the consequences. I would delete it, but that'd be.. dishonest?? I suppose. Like I said it, I'll stand by it, to deal with the consequences. I know that's not an excuse, I'm not using it as one, I'm just explaining my pov.
I thought I was bi for a looooong time, but that was in a time where I was uncomfortable with my sexuality and lacked the security to just be gay. I dated women to be more palatable to the masses. So, I understand and definitely did not intend for that to happen. As stated in my previous ask, which you should be able to find under my tags anon or asks, I try to be accommodating to as many things as I can but also, I write for me. It was mostly a disclaimer, like.. if I write, it'll be for me and my tastes.
It was poorly stated. It was wrong of me to say it the way I did. I don't know what else to say. Like I said, taking it down feels dishonest. Receiving these asks are the consequences of my actions and a reminder to do better, I suppose. I'm responding to yours because you were polite and articulate, which I appreciate. Again, I apologize.
Idk I'm bad at internet apologies, sue me, I'm only human. This is my first rodeo and my first time being a human.
If the general populous wants me to take that down, I'll gladly do so. It just felt more appropriate to.. idk accept the tomatoes being thrown for my shitty behavior and verbiage vs deleting it and sweeping it under the rug.
Is this accountability? Idk I feel like my boyfriend would tell me "hey, that's making excuses, not taking accountability and responsibility." So idk what accountability is. I'm trying to learn and grow, I suppose. Well, do or do not, there is no try.
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diagonal-queen · 10 months
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Can I request Chuuya and Dazai reacting to their s/o, who’s usually very sweet and tame answer the “what’s your type?” question with smth like “Men with slutty waists :3”. They say it so casually too 💀
"Men with Slutty Waists!"
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♡ pairing: Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara x gn!Reader
♡ synopsis: They ask you what your type is and you reply with 'men with slutty waists'. How do they feel about that? (hint: reactions are mixed)
♡ cw: Swearing, lots of talk about grabbable little man waists, dirty talk and NSFW implications (no explicit smut but it almost gets close)
note: Ohhh my god finally another piece T-T yay! This req made me laugh so hard when I first read it lmaoo slightly inappropriate crack is such a fun genre to write! Please send more reqs like this people I need to hear all your silly ideas <3 and as always apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x
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Dazai:
He is so fucking shook
Dazai asked you that question as a way to tease you. He fully did not expect you to fire back with a statement like that, especially with your more mild personality. You didn't even bother looking up at him when you answered or anything 💀
He just stands there silently, contemplating what you said. You want to laugh so bad because you can practically see waves of surprise and confusion radiating off of him but you maintain your nonchalance to see what happens
Soon enough he comes to his senses and he just...smirks at you. Uh oh.
He'll then lean down and say 'Is that so? What else do you like in a partner, 'donna?' With the most devious and cheeky smile on his face
You are determined to win whatever weird competition he's just began so you turn around and say some shit like 'I like men who whimper.' Your face does not change at all.
Again, he's so surprised because he didn't actually expect you to answer him, and thought you'd get flustered and shy. His cheeks might even turn red, which is the exact opposite of what he'd intended to happen (and also the cutest sight ever)
But then he regains his composure and hits you with another leading question again
This goes back and forth for a while, and basically just turns into dirty foreplay. You guys do the deed (or just make out for a while if you prefer), it's inevitable, and for those curious, he does in fact whimper for you.
In the end he's just really thankful that you like all these little random things about him. He thinks it's really sweet <3
And he encourages you to never be afraid to say things like that to him from now on, no matter when or where you are
Chuuya:
He just genuinely wanted to know T-T why did you do this to him
His inital reaction is basically just 'What the fuck?! My waist isn't slutty 😡😡'
You can't help but laugh at his chagrin, because c'mon Chuuya. Have you looked in a mirror?
You have to tell him that it wasn't an insult, but actually a compliment. He does not see it that way.
It definitely takes a little bit of convincing on your end for him to realise that slutty waists are a good thing
After he calms down, he suddenly gets super embarrassed, because oh my god, my usually very demure partner just told me to my face that I have a slutty man waist??
He asks what possibly inspired you to answer his very innocent question the way you did, and you just shrug and say that it's not a dishonest answer (lmao). He still thinks it's weird of you though because it's just so out of character
He then asks what constitutes a 'slutty waist'. You basically just explain that it's a waist that's slim/easily grabbable and stuff, and he's all like 'are you calling me small'
Goddamnit Chuuya it was a JOKE
You tell him that you said it because you like his waist, and you love his body and love him the way he is, and then he gets flustered because let's be real, he's not the best with receiving compliments
That being said, he might decide to amp up the flirty atmosphere you've created and...take the night in a different direction. Just to see who the slutty one actually is~ (it's probably still him)
After all is said and done, he lowkey kinda likes it when you say things like that 👀 Not in public, but he sure doesn't mind being surprised with a sudden inappropriate compliment every now and then.
He wouldn't usually admit it though and would probably just try to out-fluster you. Will you let him win?
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taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco
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Text
Today on "Jon forgets that him being pissy can legitimately terrify people": scares off an acolyte and feels only slightly bad
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jasonscaramel · 3 years
Text
Choice and Chance - Ikaris x Reader
request: enemies to lovers with ikaris. eternal!reader that refuses to follow his orders. I took a lot of liberties with this one, so apologies if it doesn't match what you saw in your head, anon. word count is 2.4k.
synopsis/warnings: eternal, gender neutral!reader (no y/n, no pronouns if I remember correctly), mentions of stabbing. there’s a lot of angst in this but it ends happily. Druig is a good bro, Ikaris is a bit of a dick.
if I forgot to mention something above, let me know. if you read this and don’t like/reply/reblog your fav will never kiss you.
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It wasn’t that you were trying to piss Ikaris off; it came naturally. He loves dishing out orders, but there’s technically no rule saying you must follow his orders. You were gifted in battle strategy, as well as battle itself. Just because a few of your fellow Eternals touted Ikaris as the strongest among you didn’t mean you had to agree. He refuses to listen to any other opinion when it comes to planning attack, and you’ve just about had it. He’s a fighter, not a thinker, and he should act like it.
“If you would just listen to me, you wouldn’t get hurt!” Ikaris is fuming, face red as he stares you down from the other end of the Domo. Ajak is above you, healing the minor wound you sustained. Of course he’d use a flesh wound against you, you should have expected that. No matter that if you had followed his orders, there’d be about 100 human bodies to bury.
“If you would get that stick out of your ass, maybe I’d consider it!” You move to stand, crossing the distance of the room to get in his face. “You aren’t the end all be all, Ikaris. I don’t know when everyone decided you were the best one to lead us, but they were wrong. You only care about being right. That’s no way to head into battle.” Your face is inches from his, burning from the proximity and your own anger. You’re sure it’s radiating off you at this point. The corner of his mouth twitches, fists clenching by his sides. You wish he’d hit you; you’ve been looking for an excuse to throw him halfway across the Earth for centuries now.
“And who is fit to lead us, huh? You?” He chuckles briefly, but it lacks any real amusement. He’s as angry as you are, maybe more. It’s nice to see that you weren’t the only one this worked up. “You have no idea what it takes to lead,” he begins, voice going low as he leans in closer, his nose practically touching yours. “Don’t pretend it’s something you could ever be capable of doing.” Venom drips from his tongue as he finishes speaking, and your vision turns red. Behind him is some sword Thena obtained a few thousand years ago, and you think if you get the angle right you can impale Ikaris straight on it. You lift your hand, willing your power to bring the sword toward you.
“Alright.” A voice behind you catches both Ikaris and your attention, and as you’re distracted, the sword clatters to the ground behind Ikaris. “That’s enough, you two.” Druig gives you a pointed look, thankful he came in when he did. Ikaris turns around to see what fell.
“Were you going to stab me?” He almost sounds a bit hurt, and it makes you laugh. The first laugh of the day that was genuine. You hear Druig walk closer to you, reaching for your arm to pull you away from Ikaris and, most likely, out of the Domo.
“Ajak’s in the next room, it’s not like I would’ve killed you. Just wanted to make a statement.” You wink at him before Druig can tug you away.
“Do you have a death wish?” He asks you as you walk the forest path behind the Domo. Druig had cleared this path months ago, and most of you used it to clear your head.
“Nah,” Druig looks at you incredulously. He definitely doesn’t believe you. “I just want Ikaris off his high horse. Somebody’s got to knock him down a peg. I volunteer.”
“And you were going to do that by…”
“I guess impaling him on a sword wasn’t the best idea, but it was the first thing that came to mind.” Druig shakes his head, snickering at you. More like with you. Druig understands your disdain for Ikaris. You say you hate him, but Druig doesn’t think that’s the truth. You and Ikaris hadn’t always been this way. Something happened to make your relationship turn homicidal in nature. He’s pretty sure he’s pinpointed the event that changed it, but he can’t be sure. Not unless you tell him, and he has a feeling that’s never going to happen. Your vulnerability and Ikaris would never be shared in the same sentence.
You reached a dead end in the pocket of the forest, and wordlessly agreed to head back. The others were more than likely trying to have a quick debrief, but the two of you were delaying it. As much as you hated Ikaris, you didn’t want to put everyone else out.
“There’s something about him that gets you all worked up,” he points out. And you feel like no one ever listens to you, because you’ve been saying this for months.
“So now we’re acknowledging the stick up his ass!”
“We always have. Ikaris can be a prick,” he starts, bumping your shoulder. The Domo is back in view, and you think you can see Ikaris standing outside. Probably waiting to yell again. “But I have a feeling it’s something else entirely.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. You don’t know what Druig is trying to insinuate, but you don’t like it. “What are you talking about?” Exasperation is clear in your voice; you’re exhausted. The battle, fighting with Ikaris, it was all exhausting. You have no patience to be playing mind games with Druig.
“I was just thinking, the other night. You two weren’t always at each other’s throats.” You nod; he’s right. When you first got to Earth, you and Ikaris were inseparable. Something changed that, though, and you were never really strong enough to admit it to yourself. Let alone Druig. “Not until he and Sersi slept together.”
The revelation hit you like a freight train.
He was right, of course, and he knew it by your reaction. It was just so unexpected. You had been doing what you thought was courting Ikaris for nearly two hundred years. Bringing him shiny, priceless artifacts you found. Cooking him extravagant meals and desserts, giving massages after rough battles. You didn’t do that for anyone else, and you thought that was obvious. But when you overheard Sersi telling Makkari about the previous night she had, your whole word crumbled around you. You had devoted so much of your time, your soul, yourself to Ikaris, it shattered you. That was him choosing Sersi over you, right? Even after everything you did for him, for the both of you, he still chose Sersi. That wasn’t something easy to get over, not after over hundreds of years of pining.
“So, I’m right?” You were so consumed in your thoughts, you forgot where you were. Druig stands a few yards in front of you, like he thought you were walking with him until he realized you were lost in your own head.
“It was a long time ago. I try not to think about it.” You blink a few times, getting rid of the moisture that’s collected in your eyes. You move to catch up with Druig; you’d like this conversation to be over. You’re so close to the Domo you can practically feel Ikaris’ stare. Druig stops you, cutting you off by standing in front of you and grabbing your face to get you to look in his eyes.
“You can’t run from it. You’re only making it harder on yourself.” You roll your eyes, trying to pull your face from his grasp, but he doesn’t let up, turning you back toward him. “I’m serious. It’s not good for you.” With a sigh, you nod. He’s right, all this anger isn’t good. If you could actually get over him, it’d probably make your life a whole lot easier.
“Are you two done?” You hear Ikaris a lot closer than you remember him being, and you look to see him walking in your direction. Druig drops his hands, moving to stand closer to you, a sign of his protectiveness. Ikaris stops a few feet in front of you, stance awkward and unsure. “I’d like to speak with you for a moment.” He looks at you, and as an afterthought, “If that’s alright.”
When Druig looks over to you for confirmation, you nod. “Sure.” You watch as Druig makes his way back into the Domo, wanting to look anywhere but at Ikaris. You were tired of seeing how his stupid blue and gold suit made his eyes pop; how the gray strand in his hair made you want to run your hands through it. You were tired of feeling this way about him.
Ikaris clears his throat before he speaks. “I’m… sorry. For yelling at you, and what I said. It was untrue, and uncalled for.” The confusion on your face wasn’t from the apology—Ajak had mothered the both of you into apologizing plenty of times—it was from the way he sounded like he meant it. Like he, Ikaris, was genuinely sorry.
You finally get the courage to look in his eyes, to check for the truth. You find no sign of deception. You sigh, “I guess I’m sorry, too, for trying to stab you. It was a bit childish of me.”
“You guess?” The laugh that escapes his mouth is genuine, and as happy as the sound makes you, you’re too stunned to enjoy it with a smile of your own. You think it’s been at least two hundred years since you’ve heard him genuinely laugh in your presence. He sobers up once he realizes you aren’t laughing along with him. “Hey,” his hand goes to cup your face, getting you to look at him. It’s the most gentle touch you think you’ve ever felt, and you have to hold back the urge to sob. “I meant it—I’m sorry. You got hurt and I… I didn’t know how to handle it.”
Your eyes close to keep the tears inside. “Please don’t,” you breathe, trying to keep yourself together; you don’t think you’ll last long.
You can’t see it, but Ikaris’ confusion is clear on his face. “Don’t what?” His hand holds your face just the slightest bit tighter, stroking your cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.
“Don’t be nice to me. It’s so much easier when you’re yelling.” You ignore the fact that the next time his finger swipes along your cheek, it collects a tear.
“What? What’s easier?” More tears fall, and he wipes them away from your skin. With a shaky breath, you open your eyes, doing everything you can to keep eye contact.
“Pretending I’m not hopelessly in love with you.” You shake his hand away, wiping tears from your face as you walk toward the Domo. Now that you’ve admitted it, maybe it’ll be easier to move on from; not that you want to be anywhere near Ikaris while you do it. Hopefully he’ll leave you alone after this.
You realize that won’t be the case when his hand wraps around your arm, turning you around and pulling you into his chest. He’s reaching for your face again, but the fragility is replaced with passion. Before you know it, his lips are on yours. Melting, fusing together, your bodies get as close as they can manage. You’re desperate; you don’t know what came over him, but if this is the only kiss you’re ever going to get from him, you’re definitely going to make it count. When he pulls away, you’re prepared for some sort of rejection—not what comes out of his mouth next.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that.” He breathes, a touch of a smile gracing his lips.
“Didn’t think you cared to,” you mumbled, trying with little effort to remove your head from his grasp. He didn’t move; you didn’t push it.
“Why? We—I thought we were happy?” He did? When? When you devoted every waking moment to him, and he barely reciprocated? When he went off and slept with Sersi? You raise your hands to move his away from you. The more you think, the angrier you get.
“I thought we were too. And then you chose Sersi, so I backed off. What was I supposed to do, keep throwing myself at you after you’d already made your choice? I was already made out to be a fool enough, I didn’t need to add to the embarrassment.”
“I didn’t choose Sersi. You stopped speaking to me if you recall.”
“Because you slept with her! That seemed like a decision to me, Ikaris. Seemed like a very big decision.” Your voice trails off. Sex may be commonplace for humans, but with no need to reproduce, it was never something Eternals really participated in. You figured you’d have to have a pretty deep connection with someone to even consider doing something like that.
He falls silent. Figures. “I—that’s my fault. I thought we were still… I thought you were with Druig, too. I didn’t think we were exclusive.”
Your eyes grew round, moving to shove him away from you. He doesn’t try to step any closer. “Druig is my friend. He was the one who picked up the pieces that you left.”
“Clearly, I was very wrong. And I regret it; I’m sorry.” When he sees you deflate, he moves back into your personal space. “I love you. It’s always been you. I’m an idiot for doing what I did, and for letting this go on so long.” There’s a pause, and he raises his hand slowly. You take it, and his fingers wrap around yours immediately. “I want to choose you. If you’ll let me.” His voice is barely above a whisper, and you’re not sure you even heard him properly.
So you figure a kiss would be enough to clear it up.
And when your lips meet, the metaphorical fireworks turn literal as Sprite helps you create a special, magical moment. The hand in yours moves to your neck, his other traveling to your hip. His grip is firm, like you’ll blow away if he doesn’t hold on tight. You don’t think you could come up with a complaint if you tried.
“I know this doesn’t mean what I did was erased,” he starts, and you almost want to smack him for ruining the moment. “but I will try every day to correct the mistake I made.”
And with the way he kisses you, you believe it.
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deckerswheeler · 2 years
Text
mike may be oblivious to will’s feelings, but he knows will is gay, and he likes him; here’s why:
1. mike was very awkward and antisocial with will in the airport. he cut their hug short on purpose and tried to mask his excitement to see will, this was in direct opposition to their goodbye scene in season 3, where we can clearly see both mike and will clinging to each other while they hug and crying. mike’s actions are in indication of internalized biphobia, he doesn’t want to seem too excited to see will, because he knows how it looks when will does it, and he is afraid and ashamed to be perceived that way.
2. when mike and will got in their fight in the roller rink, mike uses the excuse that he is el’s boyfriend and will’s friend as justification for why he didn’t call will enough over the 8 month time span. He repeatedly says “we’re friends... we’re friends!” the second time with more conviction, symbolizing that he was convincing himself of this statement himself. will is near tears at this point, and clearly mike knows something is wrong, because he quickly attempts to apologize, regardless of how bad that apology is. mike senses that there is more going on than just will missing his best friend, he understands now that it IS in fact his fault will doesn’t like girls.
3. when will and mike have their talk in will’s room, will is doing everything he can to help mike feel better about el, despite feeling the pain that comes along with it. mike can see the pain will is in and he wants to make him feel better, he also wants to clarify that will has always and will always be his best friend, no matter what. we get to see mike become vulnerable again, on the verge of tears while revealing that he doesn’t feel the same without will in his life, in fact he feels he has lost him. will starts to tear up, this time from happiness at hearing mike’s words, and mike smiles at him sheepishly. he knows he is fixing whatever gap he drove between them. 
4. mike says it’s going to be up to them again, meaning him and will, and will says “it always is, isn’t it.” this causes mike to smile, not a fake ‘doing this to be nice’ smile, but a real, genuine grin. mike is just as happy and grateful that will is in his life as will is with him, and the audience really gets to see this here. the only thing that breaks their smiling and locking eyes with each other is the interruption by jonathan. 
5. when they are digging the grave in the desert, mike is staring at will thoughtfully, a strange look on his face. when will looks up at him, mike looks like he’s been caught and quickly gets back to digging. i wonder what he could’ve been thinking about? the same thing applies to when they are on the truck together, and will tells him it’s hard to open up, especially to the people you care about the most. mike looks deep in thought as will says this, it is clear he knows will is talking about himself. 
6. when will gives mike the painting, mike looks ecstatic, he is so excited that will painted something for him. as soon as will claims el commissioned it, his smile fades, and he looks almost disappointed. will’s speech was so obviously about himself, mike may be dumb, but he’s not stupid. he definitely knows what will is talking about. but he’s 15 years old, and his best friend is practically confessing his love to him, and he doesn’t know what to do or say, and why would he? he’s a kid for fuck’s sake. so instead of saying anything, all he can muster is “yeah?” we can even see that when will is crying, mike gives him a concerned glance, but stays silent, admiring the painting instead. also, mike knows will was painting something for his crush, el told him in his letter, so mike must know will lied about el commissioning it.  
7. when el is about to die, mike initially wasn’t going to give the “i love you” speech. the only thing that motivated him to do so was will affectionately grabbing his shoulder and saying, “don’t stop, okay. you’re the heart.” the audience can even see the struggle on mike’s face as he forces himself to say he loves el. sure, he cares about her, and doesn’t want her to die, but another reason why he’s doing this is for will, to save his sister. 
8. mike and will’s scene in the cabin was a direct parallel to their scene in season 2 when mike held will’s hand and said “we won’t let it,” this time, mike held will’s shoulder and said “and we will”. mike is only ever really affectionate with will when they are alone, signifying the fear that he feels to be affectionate with will in public. he held wills hand, wrapped his arm around will multiple times, and held his shoulder when they were alone, but he couldn’t hug him in the airport after not seeing him for 8 months? as mike has grown older, he’s become more hesitant to be affectionate with will, perhaps because he is realizing his own feelings for will, and doesn’t know how to handle it.
the series isn’t over yet! we still have one more season to go, and many more opportunities for byler to happen. i’m not giving up hope yet, because i truly believe the duffers have been planning this since season one, and we just don’t know it yet. 
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sxftkxssxs · 3 years
Note
okay i am absolutely in love with your writings and damn i didn't know people still write stuff abt the arcana bc hey- the fandom was at it's peak a year or two ago but it's refreshing to see people who write it still active.
and my request here (since i see that requests are open) is the m6 reacting to winged!mc telling them the story of how their parents taught them how to fly (ik the mc died but let's imagine that they still remember this bc it might've been traumatizing for them dhejebj)
like "oh yeah, my mom/dad pushed me off the cliff to get me flying when i was like 8 or something"
keep up the good work 💞✨
dkslfjhdkls I'm glad you like them!
Winged!MC telling the M6 how they learned to fly
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Asra
he's listening with such a concerned look on their face
definitely asks if they ever apologized for that
if the answer is no, he's not really happy, but honestly, they basically think of your parents like birds
I mean they did what bird parents do! can you blame them??
but he definitely showers you in kisses after you tell him your story though,
tells you what they think of your parents later- trying to make you laugh
don't let them meet your parents too soon after this, he is quite a magician after all.
Julian
He's mortified
automatically points out that they shouldn't act like birds
probably makes you laugh accidentally but he's genuinely hurt for you
he's hugging you as soon as you'll let him,
if you tell him, it wasn't really that bad, he's telling you that you must've been joking
gives you a sad look whenever you joke about it too much
he will indulge you in your jokes though! as long as it's a healthy amount
definitely isn't fond of the idea about meeting your parents after that story
Nadia
She's very shocked
how could your parents do such a thing? of course that would traumatize you!
She voices her concerns and asks any questions she gets from that statement
she's generally very polite about it, not wanting to upset you by saying something wrong
eventually she learns to be more comfortable with it if you talk about it more
always offers her support, even if it's silent
she'll show her distaste of that method, even if it's technically normal for you
Muriel
he's a little worried, knowing you're not a bird and this isn't normal
he'll offer a silent form of support after hearing that
You'll have to explain why your parents would even think to just,, throw you off a cliff??
he'll not want to meet your parents after that story, he's pretty intimidated by them
he's very quiet about his support though, might even chuckle a little bit if you make a really funny joke about it
offers you a hug if you ever do feel really upset over it,
Inanna steals you away from the hug eventually, but it was nice while it lasted
Portia
she's very quiet, you can't really tell what she's thinking
she'll gather her thoughts and then tell you exactly what she thinks
pointing out your parents shouldn't act like birds 2.0
has plenty of questions about this,
she'll hate if it's normal, but can't really tell your parents off if they're not in the room
she's so supportive of your jokes of it, that itself if even funnier than the joke
Portia will not hesitate to hit a parent if they say something about it when she meets them- be careful-
Lucio
he's caught off guard but doesn't really- think you're being serious
when you tell him you're absolutely serious he's stunned
all of the sudden he's talking faster than you can listen
he's not sure if it's normal for you but to him this is the craziest thing he's heard since before he was a ghost
tries to avoid jokes about it but some do get a good chuckle out of him
probably would run away from your parents if he met them-
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itsallyscorner · 3 years
Note
hey love ❤️ i hope you’re doing good and healthy but i was wondering if you could do a little mix!reader after she gave birth to tom and her’s child. maybe when the girls meet their niece or nephew
💌
The World’s Greatest Aunties
Pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader, Little Mix x fem!reader
Summary: The girls finally get to meet Baby Holland for the first time.
Warnings: none, spelling errors?
A/n: Hey darling! Thank you so much for the request, I’m so sorry that it took so long. I took a small break from writing Tom fics and writing in general because I needed to recharge the author part of my brain😭😂 I was lacking motivation to write but I’m back now! Thank you again for the request and I hope you like it!💞
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
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(Pinterest)
✧───── ・ 。゚★: *. ☽.* :★. ─────✧
Five pairs of eyes peered over the bassinet, a twinkle of admiration in each one. The house was quiet except for the low hums of the music that played softly in the living room. Occasionally, they would hear the light clicks and taps of Tessa’s nails against the floors. The five of them were quiet, letting out a little coo here and there when the tiny bundle in the bassinet fidgeted.
“I can’t believe you actually made a baby.” Leigh-Anne whispered, cautiously steadying her voice at a quieter tone. You all nodded, agreeing to her comment.
You glance at Tom, who was stood beside you, “We weren’t even planning on having a baby. Someone’s pull-out game was just very weak.”
Tom’s mouth gaped at your statement, a false offended look on his features. “Well, you weren’t complaining while it was happening.”
“Did you really think I’d be in the right headspace to realize how bad your pull-out game was after being railed to the bed?” You quizzed him, standing up straight and placing your hands on your hips.
Jesy’s eyes shifted between you and Tom, “Are you two really talking about how irresponsible you guys are at sex in front of the baby you both made—because of irresponsible sex?”
“But isn’t she the cutest outcome of irresponsible sex?” Perrie cooed, leaning closer to the opening of the bassinet. Tom smirks at you before slinging his arm around your shoulder, “We made a beautiful baby, didn’t we?”
“Don’t flatter yourself Thomas, I’m sure Amelia’s 90 percent (Y/n) and 10 percent you.” Jesy comments, earning her some chuckles from the rest of you except for Tom. Though they’ve know each other for years, and he’s proved himself worthy of you, that still didn’t stop Jesy from giving him a hard time. Of course, all the petty arguments were all in good fun. He’s been slowly growing on her anyway.
“Well she’s definitely got (y/n)’s lips.” Leigh-Anne observed, admiring the sweet baby from above. You leaned your head on Tom’s shoulder as you watched Amelia scrunch her tiny nose.
“But her nose, without a doubt, is Tom’s.” You point out, watching your baby snuggle into her blanket.
“Honestly, you know how some babies are just not cute when they’re first born?” Jade began, voice remaining in a whisper. A few sounds of agreement were heard amongst you all. “Amelia’s probably one of the most cutest newborns I’ve ever seen, and she’s only a few weeks old.”
Tom’s lips morph into a soft smile as he leans back down towards Amelia, “She’s gorgeous isn’t she?” His large hand creeping closer to his daughter to brush his fingers along her chubby cheeks. Though the contact of his cold digits made her jolt, causing a sob to bubble out her small body. Tom gasped, turning around to give you an apologetic look. Before the girls arrived, you had put Amelia down for a nap so she wouldn’t be fussy once the girls were over. You were planning on waiting till she woke up to properly introduce her to the girls, but things don’t always go as planned, do they?
“Oh no!” Perrie cried, moving out the way so Tom can gather Amelia into his arms. Tom held her against his chest, shushing her and slightly bouncing his body to ease her wailing.
“I’m so sorry, sunshine. Daddy didn’t mean to wake you.” He apologized, genuinely feeling bad for waking her up from her nap. He whispered comforting words into her ear, not phased by the fact that she couldn’t even understand him yet. He pressed kisses on the crown of Amelia’s head, trying to calm her down.
“Look at that, she even got your vocals too.” Jesy hummed, smiling at the crying baby against Tom’s chest. You laughed, stretching your hands out towards Tom. Just by the gesture, he knew what you meant. The two of you have only been parents for almost a month now and every single day it seemed like you were both picking up new habits—specifically parental ones. It was like the start of your relationship again, you were leaning new things about each other, but this time as parents.
“Aww, c’mere darling, momma’s got you.” You cooed as Tom helped you place her against your chest. Her tiny head was snuggled into the crook of your neck, the warmth coming from your skin soothing her. You had a hand under her bum while the other was rubbing circles onto her back. Slowly, her cries softened until they were replaced by her cute baby gurgles.
“Are you crying?” Perrie asked. You turned around to see who the question was directed to. Only to find Jesy wiping her eyes and fanning them with her hands. She shook her head trying to brush off Perrie’s question.
“Babe,” you called out to her, “Why are you crying?”
You body gently swayed side to side, trying to entertain Amelia. You all looked at Jesy, an amused yet concerned expression on all your faces. When she felt like her tears weren’t about to spill from her eyes, she tilted her head to look at you again.
“I’m just—you’re an actual mother. Like look at you, you’re so grown up.” She sniffed, eyes watering up again. Jesy and the rest of the girls were just a few years older than you. Being the youngest of the group, they’ve always been protective of you and viewed you as their younger sister. They watched you grow up into an amazing woman, watched you fall in love with Tom, and now here you were—as a mother. The sight was quite emotional.
“Aw Jess.” You walk closer to her, using one of your arms to embrace her. Jesy chokes on her laugh, “No! Don’t hug me, you’re gonna make me cry even more.”
You ignore her protests and continue to wrap your arm around her neck. Jesy allows the hug to happen, wrapping both her arms around your waist.
“It’s okay, I cried a few times too.” Tom tells her comfortingly, handing her a tissue from over your shoulder. She takes it, thanking him quietly, and dabbing her eyes. You hear some more sniffles around the room. Breaking your hug with Jesy, you look around to see Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne with glossy eyes.
“Guys...” You sigh.
“It just sunk in that you’re a mum now. Like you need to take care of another human being and help them become a person and all that.” Jade summed up, blinking away tears. Tom took it upon himself to wordlessly pass around tissues to the four women in the room.
Leigh-Anne came up behind you to move your hair over your shoulders, “You’re gonna teach her so many lessons about life. You’re gonna be the first person she’ll always look up to and her first best friend—I’m so excited for you.”
“I have life lessons too, ya know.” Tom interjected, slightly raising his hand. Jesy glances at him and scoffs, “You have the body of a twelve year old and you cry in movies for a living. What could you possibly learn from that?”
“I don’t cry in all my movies.” He defended himself.
You move your head to look at Tom, “Darling, you’ve literally cried in four out of the five Marvel movies you’ve been in. That speaks volumes.”
Jade’s eyes shifted between Jesy and Tom, “I thought we were having a sentimental moment, how did we go from that to hating on Tom.”
“Because, he’s Tom.”
Tom crossed his arms, squinting at you all, “You know, I thought having Amelia would make you guys like me more—but no, I just can’t catch a break from you lot.”
A joyful sound emitted from Amelia, catching everyone’s attention. The girls cooed and awed at the new member of their little family.
“Oh hello precious!” Perrie squealed leaning down beside you so she can see Amelia’s face. Your baby’s eyes were wide as she stared at the faces crowding above her.
“D’you guys wanna hold her?” The girls eagerly nod, bodies filling with excitement. You handed Amelia to Jesy, showing her how to properly hold your newborn baby. With her new niece’s head resting against her shoulder, she feels her heart swell with joy.
“Oh my, she’s lovely.” She whispered softly, her hand cradling Amelia’s head. She ducks her head to get a closer look at her face, chuckling when she sees the combination of you and Tom on Amelia’s features. Jesy catches a whiff of the newborn baby smell radiating off of her—you know, that light weight baby powder-ish smell?
“And she smells so good!” Jesy announced enthusiastically. Perrie frowns, “I wanna smell the baby.”
“Too bad, you can’t.” Jade teases, poking fun at Perrie’s inability to smell. Jesy passes Amelia to Perrie, who makes grabby hands at her before wrapping her arms around Amelia’s tiny form.
“I’m so sorry for exposing you to the media.” She tells the baby, a chorus of laughter following her apology. Perrie gently pokes Amelia’s cheeks with her finger, “Your cheeks! I just want to squish ‘em and smother you with kisses!”
“I think you’ve had enough time with the baby, my turn!” Leigh-Anne jokes, holding her hands out for Amelia. Perrie carefully hands her to Leigh-Anne, who instantly melts once she holds Amelia against her.
“I want one now.” She whines.
“Ask Andre, I’m sure he’ll give you one in no time.” You wink at her, gesturing to the ring on her left hand. You honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she became pregnant anytime soon. Leigh-Anne took her time holding Amelia, basking in the cloud of baby fever she was currently experiencing. Your daughter was then passed onto Jade, who was thrilled to show her niece all the gifts she had bought her.
You all watched as Jade ventured towards the couch, kindly asking Tom to fetch the large bag that was at your entrance alongside the piles of packages from your family and friends. Ever since you and Tom brought Amelia home, there has been a never ending amount of gifts being delivered to your home. The items ranged from clothes, toys, to diapers, and baby bottles. Your house was practically filled to the brim with baby supplies.
Jade settles on the couch; adjusting Amelia so she can cradle her with her arm and using her free hand to pull out gifts from the bag. You and the rest of the girls sit around her, while Tom looked over the couch behind you.
“You guys really didn’t have to get us anything, just being here and letting us share this moment with you is enough for me.” You expressed, Tom agreeing with you. Jade simply brushed you off, “Oh hush up, let us spoil Amelia. She’s going to be the sixth member of our band, so we need to make sure she’s got the best clothes to look like her mummy and aunties.”
Jade proceeds to pull out a bunch of Disney themed items out from the bag. “Oh you’re gonna love this, I found a bunch off onesies that were princess themed—look!” Jade held up the hanger of multiple Disney onesies for your daughter. “Look Amelia, there’s one for every princess!” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh when Jade began to show every item she bought for Amelia.
Your and Tom’s jaws dropped when she pulled out a Minnie Mouse headband made for babies.
“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, lemme see.” Tom held his hand out towards Jade who handed him the headband. You watched adoringly as Tom inspected the headband, looking at it with fascination. He caught your stare and proudly held up the head band, “Baby, we’ve gotta take her to Disney.”
“Oh, we definitely are, don’t worry.” You assure him, making him proudly fist the air. Without any of you noticing, Jesy slipped out the room to get the gift bag she left out at the entrance.
“I’ve got something too!” She sang entering the living room. She sat back on the couch, Jade passing Amelia to her once she was comfortable.
“Alright, ya ready precious?” Jesy asked Amelia, who grabbed at the bag with her hands. Jesy took her hands in hers and helped Amelia ‘take out’ the tissue paper from the bag.
“Since I know your parents are two of the biggest Harry Potter nerds, I decided to get you this because I know they’ll flip.” She explained before pulling out a baby Hogwarts costume.
“Jesy!” You gasped, leaning in to get a closer look at the clothes.
“They have Harry Potter merch for babies?” Tom exclaimed, rushing to stand behind Jesy’s part of the couch. He began to ramble, asking her where she bought the clothes and if there were more.
Jesy held her hand out to stop Tom from talking, “Wait, wait—WAIT, Jesus Thomas, you’re more excited for these clothes than your daughter.”
Tom shrugged, “Well she can’t express any feelings yet, so I’ll do it.”
“Here.” She passed the costume to him making him cheer. “The costume came with another thing actually.” Jesy took out a baby Hogwarts robe, making you gasp again.
“It comes with the robes too?” You asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, it was an entire set!” Jesy proudly answered. Tom ran his hand along the robe, touching the soft fabric. He let out a squeal, “I love it!”
“Tom darling, the clothes are for Amelia, not you.” Perrie teasingly reminded him. Tom brushes off her comment, “(Y/n), we could all dress up as Hogwarts students for Halloween! We could match costumes!” Tom was practically buzzing with excitement, not allowing you to give him a response.
“Thank you Jesy, it’s nice to know that you have a soft spot for me.” He bumped his fist against her shoulder, which she glared at.
“I don’t have a soft spot for you, twit.”
“Yes you do, you knew I liked Harry Potter.” He held up the Hogwarts costume, “And you got Amelia a baby Hogwarts costume. You went out of your way to give us this gift. It’s enough proof, Jes.”
“I got it for (Y/n).” Jesy argued.
Tom crossed his arms, “Just admit that you like me.”
“No, you’re a menace.” You all watched the exchange between the two. A goofy grin was on his face as he spread his arms out, “I’m gonna hug you now.” Before Jesy can respond, Tom had wrapped his arms around Jesy. She groaned, squirming in his grip.
“Thank you Jesy!” He sang, taking the piss out of annoying her. She smacked his arm, “I get it. Now get off, I’m holding your child!”
Tom lets go with a smile on his face.
“She likes me.” He mouthed to you, motioning to Jesy. You shook your head at him, chuckling.
The girls continued to give Amelia their gifts. Perrie got her a bunch of classic children’s books and some toys. Leigh-Anne had given you a diaper bag and a “mommy and me” set of clothes. You were instantly obsessed with the matching sets, now you and your baby girl can have matching outfits. The night was full of the girls passing Amelia around and playing with her. She hadn’t cried for a single second, happy with the attention she was getting and constantly being held. There was no doubt that she would sleep soundly tonight, much to your and Tom’s content.
You watched as the girls circled around Amelia in the living room. Perrie was currently holding her, talking about how she couldn’t wait to spoil her with all the cutest baby clothes and toys. You overheard them talking about all the things they wanted to teach her; like how to sing. A smile had crept its way onto your lips without you noticing. Suddenly a pair of arms wrap around your waist.
Tom presses a kiss onto your shoulder and rests his chin on it, “You know she’s the luckiest baby in the world? And I’m not just saying that because she’s our child, but she’s really lucky. We’re very lucky.”
“We are, aren’t we?” You hum, leaning your weight against his chest, something he happily welcomes.
“She’s got two amazing parents. That’s us.” He squeezes you and continues his list, “She has grandparents who already love her, a bunch of protective uncles, and the world’s greatest aunties in her corner.” He finished, gesturing to the women in the living room. Yeah, you guys were lucky.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
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firesnap · 2 years
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ngl I think some of the recent discourse about the wilbur ending could've been alleviated if we'd stopped putting cc!wilbur and Tommy on pedestals as writers. they're good at it and there were factors out of their control, yes, and they definitely are two of the best if not THE best writers on the dsmp. But they were not perfect before by any means and I have many examples of that, but rn I just feel this defensiveness of their writing that's counter to open critique and discussion
I genuinely don't think people disliking the finale is discourse unless you turn it into someone thinking everyone should hate it or love it. You either liked it or you didn't. I have never been in a fandom in my life where a series or even a season finale is universally loved. On top of the fact that it took him so long get it done (which, again, considering one of his closest friends died two months ago isn't really something I can fault him for on a meta level, but we do have to acknowledge it hurt the story), fandom had spent too long writing and daydreaming about their own perfect endings for c!Crime.
I still hold, despite the massive flaws in Wilbur's last arc, he and Tommy are the strongest writers on the dsmp and the defensiveness comes from the fact that, let's be real, their weakest stories are still some of the best on the server. Wilbur had some unfortunate issues with this arc with both his writing and the fact that this arc ended up being the "meat" of a story where it was originally only supposed to be an epilogue. I also think trying to make it feel episodic without thought to how there's nothing else going on in the server was shortsighted on his part because it led to a lo of empty repetitiveness in the stream formats. I mean, I enjoyed the finale a great deal and I have also enjoyed critiquing it too. I think "Wilbur's a great roleplayer and writer" and "this arc was flawed" are two statements that can coexist.
But he still delivered a character arc that started with a clear goal in mind, consistently reminded the audience of that goal, and tried to be funny in a way to pay roots to his own origins on the server. Like, that first stream of this arc set up that he was scared of never being a better person and never getting a second chance, that he thought everyone would want him gone, and had that moment of him looking at Tommy and actively clinging to Tommy instead of apologizing. Then the finale delivered on him admitting that he was withholding apologies and explanation from Tommy out of that fear and hearing someone say I want you to stay. And him changing course to say, sure, one day I will. It may have been a bumpy path, and missing some pieces I really think it needed, but it did the job.
So anyway, I think there's always going to be some defensiveness because there's...segments... of fandom that wait for any sort of stumble on Wilbur's part on the server to jump in and yell about how their fave's 20 unfinished plot lines are better. But most of the Wilbur fans I've seen who liked the stream have also been pretty damn open to talking about its flaws. Mostly I've just seen people buck against wanting to talk about it with anyone who goes "If you liked it, great, but I didn't see anything good in it and I can't see why you did enjoy it."
Woo this got long. Basically, yeah, people are going to get defensive. Hell look at the people I get in my inbox every time I even suggest crit of anyone's storyline. But, overall, I've seen a lot of great honest crit from people who still enjoyed all of, or at least a good chunk, of the finale.
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Text
Meant To Be (iv)
Pairing: Hotch x F!Reader
Summary: Once the team is back you all go out for drinks and your connection to Rossi becomes increasingly evident. The following day at work you get your first chance to work in the field.  
Warnings: None! Just the slow burn as usual. 
Word Count: 5,751
A/N: As always, thank you all so much for your continued support! It means so much to me! I just wanted to warn you guys that I may not be able to update as often as I would like for a while. School just started for me and my schedule doesn’t really allow for “free time” at the moment. Just know that I am working as quick as I can and I always look forward to sharing more with all of you. Thank you for your patience. I love you all so much!
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Today goes by much more quickly than the last few weeks. Garcia helped to make the time pass a little faster but most days you were hanging on by a thread. Now that the whole team is back you feel more hopeful about your future amongst them. As the others do their required reports you make your way down to Garcia’s office. There is a bit of paperwork for the two of you to complete as well but it’s much different and a lot shorter than the rest of the team’s. At this point, you are able to walk into her office without even knocking. 
“Hey cupcake! Ready to finish things up?” 
“You know it.” Pulling your chair around you saddle up beside her. The paperwork is already laid out in front of her and she pushes a few sheets over to you. Thumbing through the few pages that there are you ask her for something to write with. What she gives to you is a small boring ballpoint pen. With a pang of betrayal in your eyes you look at her. “So what, I’m not good enough for the fun pens now?”
“Oh I’m sorry your highness. I thought you’d want a professional pen for your first round of professional paperwork.” Taking it out of your hand, she reaches over and retrieves a new pen that is a bright sparkling pink with a tuft of brightly colored fluff on the end. 
“Thank you. Much better.” She laughs, nudging your knee with her own. The two of you set about filling out the reports. Every so often you ask her a question which she happily answers before going about finishing up her own. It only takes you both about fifteen minutes, leaving you time to talk before the rest of the team gets done. 
“Did you get a chance to talk to Morgan?” Hearing her mention him for about the ten thousandth time makes you roll your eyes.
“Yes, I did. You know what, he didn’t mention you at all.” 
“I wish I believed you but we both know that man is obsessed with me. What did you guys talk about?” 
“Oh, so we’re feeling especially nosy today, aren’t we?” 
“Always my sweet.” You love the ever adorable smile on her face.
“He was just telling me that he was impressed with my work on the case. He also told me that everyone is going out for drinks tonight and he invited me to come along.” 
“Are you gonna go?” She asks even though she knows the answer.
“Yeah, of course. This is my first real chance to get to know the rest of the team. I mean, I already know Morgan pretty well I feel like but everyone else is basically a stranger to me.” 
“I know. It’s gonna be a lot of fun. And of course I’m going with you.” 
“I would expect nothing less from you my dear.” She gives another big toothy grin, causing you to smile as well. Looking back at the clock you stack up your papers and grab Garcia’s as well, heading toward the door. “I’m gonna go hand these in to Hotch.” 
“Oh, okay. Thank you!” She says, watching the expression on your face change at the mention of your boss. “Are you still mad at him?” 
“No, I was never mad at him. Was I frustrated with his decision? Of course but I don’t dislike him for it. He was doing what he thought was right. Besides, he already apologized to me.” 
“Hotch apologized to you? For a decision that HE made?” 
“Yeah.” Garcia pulls your chair back around and points to it.
“Okay you can’t tell me that and just leave. I need details.” Laughing you go back over and sit, putting the papers back on the desk. 
“There’s not much to tell. Before he left he said he wanted to talk to me so he could ‘evaluate my abilities’. He called me in just a little bit ago. It went pretty well I think. He apologized for being harsh and said that on the next case he wanted me in the field. He also apologized for not remembering me when we met. So, yeah. We’re all good.” 
“Okay, so why did you make a face?”
“What face?” 
“Oh come on, you totally know you made a face. When you said you were gonna go to Hotch’s office you made ... a face.” 
“Okay, well I didn’t do it on purpose.” 
“Even so, it happened so what’s the deal?” 
“It’s nothing. I don’t know.” Hearing your awful dismissal, her nose scrunches up as she watches you with narrowed eyes. 
“Yeah, something is definitely going on with you. I’m all ears my love. You know that you can tell me anything, right?” The genuine expression on her face tempts you to tell her every thought that’s gone through head from the very first moment you met Hotch. However, you are having enough trouble understanding your own feelings. There is no point in sharing them right now.
“Yeah, I know. It is truly nothing. I’m just nervous that he might change his mind about me working the next case, that’s all.” This answer seems to satisfy her as she pats your knee.
“Trust me, he won’t. You are an amazing agent and you are going to do great out there. And if he doesn’t like it he can just--” 
“I can just what Garcia?” The sound of Hotch’s deep voice makes both of you jump as you look behind you where he is looming in the doorway. His presence is entirely commanding, the power that he exudes seeming very evident to you now. Garcia clears her throat as she looks between the two of you, adjusting her glasses. 
“I was saying that you can just make an informed and valid evaluation and we will be entirely respectful of whatever you decide.”
“Right,” He says with a ghost of a smile, walking a little further into the office. “I came down to see if you had any questions about the paperwork. I know this is your first report, I didn’t want you to get lost.” This he says to you as he makes his way closer. 
“It was actually pretty straightforward. I have it done if you’d like to take a look at it though.” Reaching behind yourself, you grab the report and hand it to him. With a nod he begins to scan through the pages, flipping through them fairly quickly. 
“Exemplary. I’ll just take this up to my office. Garcia?” Without needing any further instruction, she grabs her own report and hands it to him. Just like that he’s gone again, leaving Garcia stunned.
“Wow. He must be in a really good mood.” She adds. 
“What do you mean? I mean, how do you know?” 
“Hotch doesn’t do that kind of stuff. If you had a question he would have expected you to take the initiative to ask. He normally wouldn’t have even considered making the trip so something must be different. That was ... just not in his nature.” Pondering the implications of her statement you settle for a small shrug. 
“I guess he was just being nice. No need to wonder why he did it.” 
“Yeah, I guess not. Well that takes care of that. I honestly don’t have anything else for you to do right now. You could probably go ahead and ask Hotch if you can leave for the day.” 
“Yeah, I think I’ll do that. I wouldn’t mind a shower before we all meet up later.” With that you stretch and make your way towards the door.
“Have a good afternoon my dear. I look forward to seeing you later.” 
“Thanks Pen. I’ll see you later.” Once she waves goodbye you leave her office, cracking the door behind you. Stepping into the elevator, you slink against the  wall. Even though there’s nothing for you to do, the idea of asking to leave this early in the day makes you uneasy. 
Once you’re back on the main floor you make a beeline for Morgan’s desk. The sight of you in his peripheral causes him to look up. 
“Don’t you ever hang out at your own desk?” 
“You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if I didn’t come bug you every five minutes.” This makes him laugh as he sets down his pen.
“We’ll never know until you try,” Faking offense, you cross your arms. “I’m just teasing you kid. What’s up?”
“Well me and Garcia finished our paperwork and she doesn’t need help with anything for the rest of the day so I was gonna go ask Hotch if I could leave early. If he says yes I’ll need to know the name of the place we’re going tonight so I can meet you there.” 
“Good luck getting Hotch to agree to that but on the off chance that he does, I can write down the address for you.” 
“Sounds good. Better start writing then bud.” Glancing back over your shoulder teasingly you walk up to Hotch’s office, knocking sharply. Hearing him beckon you inside, you step through the door. 
“I wanted to let you know that I talked with Garcia and she doesn’t have anything for me to do right now. Nobody else needs help either so I was wondering if there was anything you needed from me.” 
“I don’t believe so. Usually today would mainly be spent doing paperwork but since you have less than the others if you’re finished I would be alright letting you leave early.” Hiding a smile, you nod.
“Thank you sir. I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow then.” You go to leave but he stops you before you can get out the door.
“L/N,” When you turn to look at him you see that same softness in his eyes as you did during your earlier conversation. “I was curious ... are you doing anything tonight? Anything recreational, I mean. An important thing to try and do is find time for yourself. This job is incredibly stressful and can take a lot out of you. It would be good for you to find some time each week to do something ... fun.” 
This seems like a very light-hearted thing to be coming out of his mouth. He carries himself very professionally. There hasn’t been a moment so far when you’ve seen him unwind so hearing him talk about having fun each week seems a bit odd. However you take the advice to heart. Anything he has to offer you want to remember. “I actually am sir. I was going out to have a drink with the rest of the team.” As you say this you suddenly realize that he may not have already been invited. Feeling guilty you offer a smile. “Did you plan on coming as well?” By the look on his face you can tell that he is unaware of the event however he doesn’t seem upset. 
“No but thank you for asking. I need to go home and get some rest.” 
“Of course. That’s a very smart decision. If you ever want to though ... go out for a drink with us, I mean. You’re always more than welcome in my book.” The genuine kindness in your eyes when you look at him causes Aaron’s heart to clench and for some reason, this time he doesn’t try to stop it. God, how can one person be so good?
“I appreciate the gesture. I’ll keep that in mind next time,” The two of you stare deeply into one another and for a moment, just one brief fleeting moment, you are just a man and a woman filled with yearning. It passes quickly and you convince yourself that it didn’t even happen. “Go, enjoy your free afternoon and have fun this evening. It’s important for you to bond with your team members.” 
“Thank you sir.” As you’re about to leave he stops you one last time.
“One more thing,” There is a second of hesitation. “You don’t have to call me sir all the time. A bit of formality when we’re on the job is appropriate but you can just call me Hotch. Everyone does.” 
“Got it. In that case I hope you have a good evening Hotch.” When you step out of his office you can feel your heart beating rapidly. Every time you start to get your feelings in check he looks at you like that and you melt at his feet. It’s nothing but a stupid crush though. You’ll get over it. It’s not like he has feelings for you anyway so there’s no point in entertaining a fantasy. As lovely a fantasy as it is.
“Hey, Y/N,” Emily stops you as you make your way towards Morgan’s desk. “I wanted to tell you, really great job on this case. The work you did was great. You should feel very proud of yourself.” 
“Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.” You nod in gratitude.
“Of course. I’m excited to see what you can do in the field. If you’re that good in an office you’re gonna be a force out in the world.” 
“I’m excited too. Hopefully I don’t disappoint any of you.” 
“You won’t. We’re all on your side here. No matter what happens, we all just want to help you be successful. I promise.” 
“That ... makes me feel a lot better actually. Thanks.” She gives you a kind smile, pushing back away from her desk to face you.
“Absolutely. Hey, are you coming out with us tonight?” 
“Yeah, Morgan invited me earlier. I was actually about to go get the address from him since I’m headed out for the day.” She doesn’t say anything for a moment, frozen as if she’s buffering.
“Hotch is letting you leave early?” 
“Yeah. I finished all my work with Garcia so he’s letting me go.” 
“Well, whatever you did to get on his good side, keep it up.” She jokes, turning back to her own paperwork. The continued mention of Hotch’s graciousness with you threatens to go to your head but you fight to keep your daydreaming in check. 
“When I figure out what the secret is I’ll let you know.” You kid back before leaving her to continue her work. Morgan seems to be almost finished when you make your way back over to him. Upon seeing you hovering he stops briefly to look up at you. The look on your face tells him everything he needs to know and he lets out a chuckle. 
“No way. He’s really letting you leave?” Giving him nothing more than a nod you shift your weight as you watch him grab a piece of paper and write down the address. “I guess you earned this fair and square then. We’ll all meet up at eight. Sound okay?” 
“For sure. See you then.” With a smile you stroll out the main doors. 
++++++++++
As soon as you step in the door you drop your things to the floor and flop onto the couch. It has been a very short day and yet you feel a strange weight on your shoulders. Hearing everyone’s disbelief at the idea of Hotch being so relaxed with you had sent your mind spiraling with thoughts. Even though you know it was nothing it is hard not to entertain the ideas that come to your head. With a frustrated sigh you push yourself up and head for the bathroom. 
Once you step inside your small shower the pressure of the warm water on your back immediately makes you slump over with relief. The strange sense of tension in your body melts away with each droplet as they disappear down the drain. Reveling in the feeling, you take a bit longer than normal to enjoy the time to yourself. After being clean you feel that you can no longer justify lingering in the water so you turn the knob and step out to dry off. The soft material of the towel elevates the feeling of relaxation in your body. 
Throwing a robe on you make your way to the bedroom, flinging yourself onto the bed with your phone in hand. Suddenly feeling very mischievous you take an adorably flirtatious picture of yourself in your robe, well cleaned and blissful, which you send to Garcia. 
Having fun all alone at work Pen?
I think that I hate you.
The response makes you giggle as you head out to the kitchen to grab a snack. There is a chocolate bar on the top shelf that you’ve forgotten about which you happily grab before plopping down on the couch. Turning the tv on to your favorite station you sit there, impatiently waiting for eight. The day feels impossibly long but once you see that it’s seven you decide to get dressed. 
After several minutes of trying to figure out what to wear you decide to keep things casual. You’re not at work tonight. It’s just you and the team spending time together as friends, not agents. The thought alone makes you smile. After a bit longer you figure it’s a good time to head out and make your way to your car. Typing the address into your GPS you pull out and make the drive to the bar Morgan told you to meet at. It is surprisingly close to your apartment complex. When you step inside the building it seems to be fairly empty. There is no sign of the others yet so you make your way over to a table to wait. Cursing your preparedness you fidget with your shirt until you hear the doors open, announcing the arrival of the others.
“Hey, sweetheart!” Morgan immediately calls out upon seeing you. With a smile you stand to meet him as he wraps you up in a hug. 
“Hey! Nice of you to show up.” You add jokingly, turning your attention quickly to the others. Emily steps forward next and also gives you a hug. JJ follows with a sweet smile. Spencer offers a handshake, as has become the custom between the two of you. Garcia pushes her way to the front and nearly suffocates you before letting you go with a laugh. At the back of the group is Rossi. His presence is mildly surprising to you but you offer him a small smile. Seeing him brings to mind the recent conversation you have had with your sister but you push those thoughts aside. Rather than embracing you he places a gentle hand on your arm. 
“It’s nice to see you again.” He adds, trying to alleviate the tension.
“Yeah, likewise. I know we haven’t really had a chance to talk to one another yet. Hopefully we can clear that up tonight!” 
“Sounds nice.” With a nod, you turn back towards the others. They all take up residence at the table you had already picked out. Squeezing in between Garcia and Morgan, you can’t help but smile shyly at the people around you. They immediately strike up conversation, talking like the oldest of friends. Just being amongst them means so much to you. Hearing your name you are drawn back out of your thoughts. 
“Sorry what?” There is a uniform chuckle from the group. 
“I asked if you wanted something to drink?” Emily speaks up.
“Oh yeah. Sorry.” She starts standing but Rossi stops her. 
“Actually, let me get this one,” The action causes you to look between the two, a strange feeling in your chest. “What’re you having?” After telling him your drink order he disappears with a nod. The others continue the conversation as though nothing has happened and you quickly rejoin them. When Rossi comes back over he hands your drink to you first and then passes drinks around to the others. 
As the night goes on you share moments with everyone, getting to know them better and allowing them to know you. Emily and you discuss the stresses of being a woman in this field and she gives you several pieces of advice to stay afloat, which you always appreciate. Spencer recommends some pieces of literature to you which you take mental note of. JJ and you get into a conversation about your sisters, confiding in one another as you share stories. Morgan makes light hearted jokes with you as you talk about some of your favorite movies together. Garcia doesn’t do much talking but she does pull you away from the table to dance when one of her favorite songs comes on. Rossi doesn’t talk much either, instead choosing to sit back and watch with a look that seems to be fatherly pride. 
After a while of dancing with Morgan and Garcia you decide to go sit back down, a wide smile on your face. At the table Emily, JJ, and Spencer seem to be in a heated discussion about chess. Deciding to leave them alone you instead make your way to sit down next to Rossi. As you do so he smiles at you warmly. 
“Having fun?” He inquires, glancing at you briefly.
“Yeah. I really am. It’s really nice getting to spend time with all of you like this. I feel like I’ve been waiting all my life to be part of a family like this and now that I am it’s like I just can’t get enough.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I’ve heard some people say we can’t choose our families but nights like this just go to show how wrong that is.” 
“Yeah, exactly.” With that, the two of you sit in content silence. The quietness between the two of you leaves time to think. Your sister’s words continue to ring in your head as you wrack ever corner of your memory for how you might possibly know the man sitting next to you. With a sigh of frustration you come up completely blank. As you ponder this you also begin to wonder if he might be having the same thoughts and decide there’s no way to find out without asking. 
“So, I hope this doesn’t sound too weird but I’ve been thinking about this since we first met. I just have the strange feeling that you and I know each other somehow but I just can’t recall where from.” It all comes out at once as you shift in your seat to look at Rossi. When you say this he allows himself a moment to think before responding. 
“That’s not weird at all. I’ve been thinking the same thing. There is something about you that is so familiar but I just can’t quite remember how I know you.” Hearing him say this helps to validate your confusion and you offer him a kind smile. 
“Well, I guess we know each other now. That’s what’s important, right?” In his eyes there is that same sense of fatherly joy and it causes a pang of sadness to creep into your chest for a moment. Quickly deciding that it’s better to just enjoy it rather than dwell in the past, you nod slowly. “Thanks for the drink.” 
“Anytime kiddo. I’m glad we do know each other now.” 
With that you mutually decide the conversation is over and you stand with a stretch. Morgan and Garcia seem to be the drunkest of anyone at this point and you laugh as you watch them stumble all over each other as they “dance”. Emily, JJ, and Spencer still seem to be deep in conversation. Looking at the time you decide that it’s probably best for you to turn in for the night. “Hey guys.” You raise your voice slightly so they can all hear you as you make your way over to them.
“I think I should probably head home.” They collectively whine for a minute which causes you to laugh. “It’s okay, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Seeming satisfied with this answer they all get up to hug you as you thank them for a fun evening and head outside. Rossi sticks to your side and walks out the front doors with you.
“Would it be okay if I drove you home? I feel wrong about sending you home alone after you’ve been drinking.” 
“Yeah, that would be okay. I actually only live a few minutes from here anyway.” With a nod he heads back towards the bar. As you make your way over to your car you can here him call inside to the others.
“Don’t any of you even think about setting foot inside a car yet. I’ll be back in a few minutes to drive you home.” With a chuckle you unlock the door and step inside. He slips into the driver’s seat and you give him directions back to your apartment. The drive is silent and quick. When you arrive you thank him as you both step out.  
“Wait, how are you gonna get back?” You say, realizing that you’ve stranded him at your apartment complex since he took your car. 
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be alright. You get inside and get some rest.” With another expression of gratitude you head upstairs and make your way into your apartment. Stripping as you make your way to the bedroom you flop down on the bed, unable to keep your eyes open. 
++++++++++
This morning you are awake bright and early, surprisingly ready to start your day. By this point you’ve begun to get into a routine before you head out for work. Your clothes are always laid out on the chair and your work materials are on the kitchen table. You make a quick breakfast then give your sister a quick good morning phone call before heading out the door and showing up to work promptly at five.
When you step inside the building this morning you are one of the first people there. Setting your things down at your desk you head over to the coffee machine, deciding an extra little boost might not be so bad. After setting it up you wait patiently for it to brew. A few minutes later you are very aware of a presence next to you. When you look back over your shoulder you are greeted by Hotch, seemingly very awake and as professional as ever. 
“Good morning, Y/N.” The sound of your first name on his tongue doesn’t escape your attention as you take a small breath. 
“Morning Hotch,” Hearing yourself say his name is equally as pleasant to you as you revel in the blooming bond between you. 
“How was your evening?” Thinking back to the night you shared with your other team members you can’t help but smile. 
“It was really wonderful. I had a great time. It was nice getting a chance to learn more about everyone. It really makes me feel connected ... like I’m truly a part of the team. You know?”
“I do. I’m very happy to hear that you had a good time.” With a nod, you look back down for a moment as you think of what to say.
“How did you sleep last night? I hope you were able to rest.” 
“I slept well, thank you. I spent the evening with my son, Jack.” Hearing this takes you aback. The fact that he has a son is news to you. It’s not bad news, just a bit surprising. However, the more you think about it the more fitting it seems that he would have a kid. 
“That sounds lovely. I didn’t know you had a son.” 
“Yes, he’s two now. The nights I get to spend with him are always some of the best.” The thought of Hotchner taking care of a young baby sends a warm feeling spiraling through your chest.   
“I can imagine,” You say, unable to hold back a small smile. “I don’t have any children but if I did ... god, they’d be my world.” 
As much as you try not to think about it, for the briefest moment an image of you and Aaron laying in bed with a few babies of your own flashes in your mind. Scolding yourself harshly you erase the image and turn back towards the coffee machine. You look away just in time to miss the same dreamy look cross over Aaron’s face as the exact same vision passes through his own thoughts. It’s these moments of silence between the two of you that dare you to dream. It isn’t awkward. It has all the familiarity and comfort of a silence shared between two people that have known each other all their lives. 
“That’s exactly how it feels. He means everything to me. He is the biggest thing that makes this job worthwhile. I want him to look back on his life when he’s older and be proud of the man his dad was.” 
“Jack will always be proud of who his dad is. That’s a feeling that doesn’t fade over time. At least, not when you know he loves you. And when you know you love him. I’ve never--” There is a brief moment of hesitation as you wonder whether or not you should continue your train of thought. “I’ve always been proud of who my dad was. I always will be, no matter how much time passes. It’s one of the biggest things I remember about him. How much I loved him. That’s a hard feeling to forget. Jack won’t forget either.”
In this moment, Aaron Hotchner has never wanted to embrace someone so badly. Every fiber of his being is itching to reach out and touch you, to pull you close, kiss the top of your head, tell you that everything will be alright, tell you how sorry he is that you lost your dad, thank you for comforting him, caress your face, tenderly press his lips to yours, and just hold you. But he can’t. So he doesn’t. 
“Thank you. That’s nice to hear.” Is all he can muster before he falls silent again. Content with this, you stay silent as well as you both simply enjoy each other’s company. A few minutes later the coffee is finished brewing and you pull the pot out to pour some for yourself and Hotch. With a nod of gratitude he makes his way back up to his office, leaving you there alone but strangely full and warm. 
Needing a distraction you head back to your desk and begin pulling paperwork out of some nearby drawers to begin filing. You keep yourself occupied like this for a few more minutes before the other agents begin entering the bullpen. Morgan ruffles your hair as he passes by you causing you to punch him. The others come in, talking amongst themselves and greeting you warmly as they pass by. You quickly join in on the conversation as you all begin your work. 
Pretty soon JJ disappears to her own office and Garcia disappears to hers, leaving you, Morgan, Emily, and Spencer to do your own paperwork. Things remain uneventful as you look over your materials, stopping every now and again to ask Morgan a question. As you do your work you can’t help but glance up towards Hotch’s office every once in awhile. Your interaction with him had been very strangely intimate and you almost wanted to speak with him more about it but you knew that both of you had things to do. And even if you didn’t it was in the past and didn’t need to be dredged up again. It’s better this way. Around lunchtime you head down to Garcia’s office, joining her for some light hearted conversation. She has also packed you some snacks she knows you love and the gesture warms your heart. It is a very pleasant afternoon, feeling reminiscent of the time you spent shut up in her office on this last case.
After a while you decide to head back up to your desk to continue your work. The day is passing fairly slowly until JJ suddenly draws your attention and calls you into the conference room. There is a new case that you all need to be prepped for. Now everything around you is passing at lightning speed. Preparing your things you head up to the conference room with the others, buzzing with excitement. When you step inside you realize you’ve never been in this room before. In an instant you are flooded with the gravity of what you’re doing. This is the culmination of years and years worth of hard work and you are finally being presented the chance to do what you’ve always wanted to do. It is both liberating and completely terrifying.
JJ begins her debriefing very succinctly, telling you all the facts of the case. You listen intently, absorbing every single piece of information she gives to you. The others pitch in when the moment is right but you remain silent as you simply take in what everyone is saying. Several gruesome images are pulled up on the screen in front of you and for the first time since you’ve stepped foot in this building your stomach turns. Six homeless people have been murdered in the Phoenix area. Their bodies have all been left in widely public places with various messages written on their skin with blood. All the messages are different but point to someone with a serious hatred for big corporations. They have all been left in different parts of Phoenix, leaving a wide geographical profile which will pose a challenge. Once the debriefing is finished Hotch is the first to speak. 
“You all know the drill. Wheels up in thirty.” Everyone nods and begins heading for their desks. You follow closely, pulling your go bag out of your bottom desk drawer. Checking inside to make sure you have everything you need, you gather the rest of your things and head towards the doors. As you stand at the threshold you feel a hand on your shoulder. Once again you are met with Hotch’s intense gaze though his expression seems strangely soft.
“Y/N, I want to make sure you feel ready to get into the field. I know this will be your first case with the rest of the team and I want you to be prepared. This won’t be pretty and it will take a lot out of you.” 
“I’m ready, Hotch. I was ready the moment I walked through these doors.” Keeping his eyes locked on yours he responds with a nod before walking away. You head in the direction of the jet, steadying yourself. This is your big moment to prove yourself. To Hotch, to the team, and to yourself. You are ready. You’ve been ready for a long time now and nothing is going to stop you from getting out there and putting whoever is doing this away. Determination fills you with every step you take. No matter what happens, you will not fail. 
Tags:  @talesfromtheguild @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gryffindorwriter @nopeforyou @sheerfreesia007 @roxypeanut  @ohpedromypedro @ssahotchie @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @readsalot73 @the-mechanical-angel @races-erster @maxlordd @pascalisthepunkest @paintballkid711 @hotchafterhours @h0tchner @ssahotchswife @ssahotchhner @technotic-prophecy @klinenovakwinchester  @hotch-stufff @annadorothxa @canadailluminate @yoshigguk @gothicxbarbie @romanogersendgame @little-diable​ 
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justalads · 3 years
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c!niki and c!wilbur enjoyers. pspspspspspsps
alright guys so last night i rewatched pretty much all of the pogtopia arc. and this isn’t meant to be a big, important analysis post (it’s kind of incomprehensible), because my brain is fried from, you know. rewatching pretty much all of pogtopia. but i do have some stuff i’d like to say.
(this also just became a niki meta sorry i love her. i really just got emo about her during the second half of this and it got long. i have a lot of feelings about her and wilbur’s friendship.)
it’s a pretty general conclusion that wilbur’s real “downfall” began on october 8th, during the stream “who are you go away”. of course, his spiral and the process of him losing faith had begun much earlier, more around the end of the first war or during the election. but the big switch, so to say, was definitely here, when as wilbur walks back from schlatt’s announcement, he asks tommy if they’re the bad guys.
this entire scene was so interesting to me. wilbur here is a man who has lost hope, someone who is backed into a corner morally and has nothing left. he points out that they can never really reclaim l’manburg without forever tainting it, and that schlatt knows this. the entire half an hour or so before, schlatt has been taunting wilbur about losing that power. the emphasis of the festival on “democracy” is so clearly a barb thrown at wilbur, and it works.
wilbur’s “nothing left to lose” in this vod is a mirror to niki’s “you know what they say about a woman who has nothing left to lose”. this will not be the first time they mirror each other.
basically, wilbur’s angry. when schlatt announced the festival, wilbur realized that maybe it wasn’t a terrible thing. so once he worked around into the mindset of “we’re the bad guys”, he was able to justify saying he was going to blow up the nation with no remorse. he wants chaos! he wants no survivors!
does he do it? god no.
during the streams leading up to november 16th, wilbur is consistently scared. he goes back and forth on it, and makes multiple “conditions” that determine whether he’s going to do it or not, almost begging someone to stop him. he whispers to himself that he’s scared, that his hands are shaking, that he’s not sure if it’s the right thing to do. because despite what he says about “not caring about any of them”, the instant niki is threatened after tubbo’s death, wilbur walks up to schlatt and tells him that if he’s going to kill anyone it should be him. later, when quackity and tommy talk him down from pressing the button, he can’t press it because they’re there and he can’t bring himself to kill them as well.
but he has no problems with putting his own life at risk. he refuses to wear armor half the time, and actively places himself in harm’s way to save others. he still cares about everyone else, as much as he says he doesn’t. even when he does cause harm to others, during november 16th, he immediately begs phil to kill him. “look, they all want you to.” he can’t live with what he’s done, and how he’s hurt people, but he couldn’t allow manburg to continue.
the man is terrified and angry and he can’t win. and even as he tries to stuff himself into the mind of someone who doesn’t care, he cannot. when he finally does, he cannot live with being that person.
but the reason i rewatched this arc was to see niki’s point of view, especially after her statements during her last stream. i genuinely think that wilbur’s only betrayal of her was pressing the button, because he betrayed everyone. they might have known he was going to do it, but they had faith he wouldn’t.
wilbur cared a lot about niki. her life under schlatt was awful, wilbur hated that she was suffering, and the scene where wilbur plants himself directly in the center of the festival and tells schlatt to kill him instead hits pretty hard. he has the argument with schlatt, and then turns to niki and tells her to run. he then hits people and sprints away, trying to give her time to escape.
this is also when he asks her to join pogtopia, because now that schlatt has said he’d kill her, it’s a safer place for her.
so the man did care about her. niki is angry at the memory of him that she has. it’s been twisted by time and her own grief and paranoia.
in rewatching pogtopia, i realized that a lot of people hate the memory of wilbur. not him, and what he did. they think he didn’t care. and to quote hamilton (apologies):
“history obliteratesit paints me in all my mistakes”
does niki have a right to be mad at him? absolutely. he caused direct harm to her by blowing up l’manburg, once it was reclaimed. but she’s wrong that he never cared.
(an interesting note: wilbur only blows it up after techno starts fighting people outside. he hears it, and says “look, they’re fighting”. he didn’t re-initiate the conflict of the country. the fact that even after peace was won people were fighting just gave evidence to his belief that the entire country was corrupted.)
niki has been hurt a lot, and wilbur has things to answer for. but we as the audience know that her statements are just her perception. she is a character who acts on perceptions. the entire stream was in black and white. during doomsday, upon seeing wilbur log on (as ghostbur), niki has a panic attack and destroys her bakery, trying to rid herself of the pain of the memories. her lines during this stream are chilling, whispered repetitions that are a mirror of wilbur’s end.
(paraphrased, it was long and confusing but there are a few bits and this was the essence of it)
“wilbur is gone. this isn’t happening. he is dead. l’manburg is gone.”“it is real, i am real, he is real and he is dead.”“l’manburg is gone, i am real, i am l’manburg”.
(god. dude i could spend Months analyzing this one stream alone. there’s so much here.)
doesn’t that sound a bit like “my unfinished symphony”? wilbur and niki both attach their own self to the nation they fought for, and can see it as an extension of themself. they both destroy parts of it in acts of fear, attempting to save everyone else from what they’ve made.
what i pulled away from niki’s stream is that she’s not healing. i remember the chamber she locks herself in at night. i remember her refusal to eat. i remember how she was so angry at tommy, and she later realized that anger was misguided. niki genuinely believes that wilbur did not care about her, and that’s not surprising: when he died, she denied the fact that he was gone. she represses the things that she can’t handle, same as lots of other people. it is easier for her to pin her hurt on wilbur, because she needs somewhere to pin it. people feel more in control if they’re angry, not sad.
the song cc!niki said was for her character really emphasizes this. it’s a coping mechanism.
but even condemning wilbur won’t help, because she will still never get closure. niki cares about what others think of her, and so she can’t move on from someone hurting her. she can’t move on because she thinks he hated her. she is angry that he is back, but it is an opportunity for her to heal. she couldn’t heal when he was gone. she’s not the only one with a negative perception of wilbur, after all. he has one too. the two of them really need to talk.
i want niki to be healthy and safe. i want to see her heal so badly, and i do think it will happen. after wilbur died, his betrayal of her stayed with her, and it eventually became her memory of the betrayal that she hated, not the thing itself. it’s been months since it happened. niki wants to find an outlet for her hurt, because she wants to feel better. there’s a pattern i noticed: she only gets mad at people once she hasn’t seen the person themself for a while. and once she sees them and talks to them, and realizes that they care about her and don’t want to hurt her, she stops blaming them for it. she only hates her perception of them. example one? tommy.
man was in exile for a long time, and when he came back he “brought” fighting. that’s how niki saw it. but the fact that after she spent time with tommy (trying to kill him but. details, details) she forgave him because she saw it wasn’t his fault is a really good sign.
i genuinely think that speaking to wilbur will help niki, and it will also help wilbur. after all, they both hate wilbur. the entire perception of wilbur as some heartless, crazy manipulator needs to be shattered for both of their sakes. they both buy into it.
i want niki to know that others care about her, and that she has places she can feel safe. she hates that wilbur is invading the syndicate, because she’s scared of his memory hurting her. i don’t think wilbur will hurt her on purpose, because even though he sees himself as awful, he doesn’t hate her. he never did. usually, with people who have hurt someone else, i want them as far away from the person they hurt as possible. if wilbur does hurt niki i’ll probably cry. but again, it’s not him that hated her, or really him that hurt her in the way she thinks he did. when wilbur was dead, niki didn’t get any better. her memory of him festered and made her feel worse. that’s also why niki killing wilbur or hurting him somehow wouldn’t help her heal. i want wilbur to explain that he didn’t hate her. is wilbur even close to self aware enough to help niki? nah. this is going to take a Long time, and it’s going to hurt.
last thing i swear lol
during niki’s stream, she says that wilbur manipulated her. again, i watched pogtopia last night, and i’ve watched the rest of season one recently as well. i genuinely don’t see it. but i do think i know why she said it.
during season one, wilbur doesn’t manipulate niki. he doesn’t have a chance to later, he’s dead. so then, what is she talking about? of course it’s a perception, same as a lot of her other claims. i think she’s talking about how she cared for l’manburg.
niki joined the server as wilbur’s friend, to join his nation. she grew to care for l’manburg. she devoted herself to it, same as he did. but doomsday showed us that she hates that. in niki’s eyes, l’manburg only brought pain for people, and because she ties herself to it, she hates that she ever cared about it. she can’t allow herself to care for it, because it was used to hurt. so how does she cope with knowing that she once did? she pretends she didn’t.
if she can convince herself that it was wilbur who convinced her to care about l’manburg, she can avoid blaming herself for her own pain. and yeah, she shouldn’t blame herself for it. it’s not her fault. the entire situation is tragic and a little hopeless and once again really makes me hope that she recovers. l’manburg was ruined for her by others. schlatt, techno, dream, wilbur. again another place where she and wilbur are similar: they convince themselves they never cared about l’manburg because of the hurt it caused.
to summarize: wilbur’s going to get a shock soon. don’t know when, but probably the prison visit. something is going to shake his perception, the story is hurtling towards that. once he is able to take responsibility for what he did, and feel safe (because a lot of what he does now is out of fear of being alone or useless), then he and niki need to talk. niki needs something to get her out of her own head. she’s spiraling too. they are essential to each other’s recovery because of how much they meant (and mean) to each other.
anyways i miss early season one niki i liked it when she was happy :(
~ Lad 2
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