#and you have to recontextualize everything every week

[castelobyers]

I'm thinking now and I just know that I'll be spoiled about byler being endgame by every pop page on every site that I decide to go to, or by any friend that knows that I like this show, so it will be like or I'll watch it in the night that it comes out (it outs 4:00 am in Brazil aka very late) or I just accept my fate that I'll be spoiled there's no way runnig

[dutchdread]

Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

Watching Cleriths celebrate NPTK these past weeks, knowing they'll, as always, be proven incorrect has been an exercise in patience. Sometimes it's just clear that you won't be able to convince people of a complex truth when so often discourse is limited to 280 characters. The reason Clerith exists is that people are unable to see the big picture, it survives by people squinting and not seeing the "but" that's located right after every piece of evidence they put forward. This means that you'll often be perceived to be arguing against what is to them the blatantly obvious. It's futile, nuanced argument never wins from emotion, so often you just have to take solace in the idea that "well, it will be fun to see their surprise 4 years from now". So when you get an interview like this, mere weeks after the game releases, which confirms everything that Clotis had been saying about, and had been mocked for, NPTK, you can't help feel a sense of schadenfreude.

Man that's gotta hurt. This is the difference between Clotis and Cleriths. Cleriths don't really like Aerith, because they want to assassinate her character. Rather than a sad tragic tale of a lifetime of love and loss they want to reduce her character to a shallow cliche rom-com about a capricious girl whose fickle affections change by the hour. The fact that the first person Aerith starts developing feelings for after 5 years of pining after Zack is a man who is almost literally channeling Zack becomes a meaningless coincidence in the story. The fact that she knows Cloud for 2 weeks, most of which is also spent pining over Zack is viewed as confirmation of how special their love is. It doesn't matter that Aerith doesn't even know who Cloud is. It doesn't matter that Cloud is shown to very obviously be in love with another woman. It doesn't matter that Cloud is clearly losing his mind. It doesn't matter that Cloud is constantly show as being apathetic towards her advancements. Even them fighting is recontextualized as "good chemistry" just to avoid facing reality. Usually nonsensical romances are seen as bad-writing, but here the cope makes people excuse all the nonsense as "how brilliantly written is this story? They love each other despite it making no sense, now THAT is romance". Zack is called irrelevant, CC is a "ret-con" and can be ignored, ACC is about how romantic it is to want to die to be with someone. The reason Zack is so predominant in Rebirth is in no way connected to Aerith yearning for exactly the bond he's constantly showing to have with her. The contrast with Clouds apathy means nothing, he definitely isn't there to have some sort of pay-off with Aerith in part 3. Nah, he's just there to give Cloud and Aerith his blessing and to F-off. The reason Tifa is silent and heartbroken at the end has nothing to do with her best friend dying and the man she loves losing his mind. The distance between her and Cloud at that moment is totally not used to illustrate the severity of the situation, or to set-up Tifas importance in the events for part 3. Nah, she doesn't get lines because she's just a side character duh!. That is how they think, every single character and story is assassinated, everything happens only to service Cloud and Aeriths romance, even Cloud and Aerith themselves are pushed through the mud. Screw the death of Ifalna, screw the death of Zack, screw the complexity surrounding Clouds Zack shaped psychology, screw Aeriths childhood and desire for real bonds of friendship, screw even the story of Aerith dying and how maybe, JUST MAYBE, the scenes surrounding Aeriths death have SOMETHING to do with the strong emotions surrounding death rather than just being "a cute romance scene uwu". Never have I seen any story interpretation reveal such rampant hatred for a character as Cleriths reveal for Aerith. To them, Aerith is totally the kind of person who would bond with Tifa, hear the very personal and intimate story about the promise shared between her and Cloud, hear that Cloud thinks that Zack is dead, and not 5 minutes later write a story about how "she loves Cloud and they wouldn't need no promises like that other girl". But sure, I'm the one who hates Aerith, not the people who think this is who she is, but me, the person who assumed she'd be less vile than that and that any song she'd write would encompass more than that. I stand up for her character and get mocked, called an Aerith hater, and called "toxic"....and then you get an interview like this. God it feels good to always have all your positions validated by future content. One has to wonder if the people still arguing for Clerith ever sit back and think "wait, the last 100 times I dismissed these peoples arguments I was proven wrong almost immediately, I am constantly having to shift my goalposts while they're just happily sitting there laughing as they consume media about Cloud kissing Tifa, or proclaiming to become her special existence....maybe I am the delusional one...." God I can't wait for part 3, it will be hilarious.

[lurkingshan]

Love in the Big City Book Club Meta Round Up

Already so many great essays and we’re just getting started! If you haven’t had the chance to read and share everyone’s thoughts, here is your weekly round up. Any additional essays that post after today will be added to the list next week, and I'll add on a new section for each part every week as we progress.

So let's see what our book clubbers had to say!

Background

AMA with Anton Hur, LITBC Translator

Translator’s note by @stuffnonsenseandotherthings

Part 1

Blueberries and Cigarettes: Universalities and Differences when reading Love in the Big City by @brifrischu

Jaehee: a good distraction–until she wasn’t by @serfergs

LITBC: Jaehee, and why she matters so much to me by @starryalpacasstuff

LitBC Part 1 – Timeline by @dylogpenchester

Love in the Big City Book Club: Part 1 by @fiction-is-queer

Love in the Big City: Reflections on Part 1 by @becomingabeing

Love in the Big City Part 1 Check in by @bengiyo

Love in the Big City, Part 1 by @emotionallychargedtowel

Love in the Big City Part 1: Jaehee by @sorry-bonebag

Love in the Big City Part 1: On Friendship by @lurkingshan

Love in the Big City Part 1: Reliable and Unreliable Narration by @twig-tea

On expectations by @hyeoni-comb

Part I: The unacknowledged relationship by @doyou000me

Rose Reads Love in the Big City by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Two Friends Diverged in Emotional Sincerity: Reflections on Love in the Big City–Part 1 by @wen-kexing-apologist

Young’s world is small and private by @colourme-feral

Part 2

Finding Familiarity Despite Cultural Differences: Love in the Big City Part 2 by @fiction-is-queer

Hyung’s internalized homophobia and hatred for the US by @stuffnonsenseandotherthings

libtc part 2 by @hyeoni-comb

LitBC Part 2: A bit of rockfish, taste the universe by @dylogpenchester

Love in the Big City - A bite of rockfish, tase the universe by @littleragondin

Love in the Big City Book Club: Part 2 by @profiterole-reads

Love in the Big City: Part 2 by @wen-kexing-apologist

Love in the Big City: Reflections on Part 2 by @becomingabeing

Love in the Big City Part 2: Emotional Distance by @twig-tea

Love in the Big City Part 2 Check In by @bengiyo 

Love in the Big City The Playlist by @brifrischu

On Parents and Apologies Never Received by @lurkingshan

Part II: Historical Context and Hyung’s Background by @doyou000me

Rose Reads Love in the Big City (Part II) by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Part 3

LITBC Part Three: Now Introducing, Kylie by @wen-kexing-apologist

Love in the Big City Book Club: Part 3 by @profiterole-reads

Love in the Big City Part 3 Check In by @bengiyo

Love in the Big City Part 3: Kylie Recontextualizes Everything by @twig-tea

Love in The Big City Part 3 - Notes from A Reader by @stuffnonsenseandotherthings

Love in The Big City Part 3 - Notes from A Reader 2 by @stuffnonsenseandotherthings

Love In The Big City Part 3: Words and Miscellaneous Context by @doyou000me

On Gyu-ho, the Mundanity of Great Love, and the Destructive Nature of Shame by @lurkingshan

Part 3: No Disappointment Without Expectations by @doyou000me

Rose Reads Love in the Big City (Part III) by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Part 4

Adaptation Concerns by @doyou000me

Anticipating the LITBC Adaptations by @lurkingshan

Depictions of physical intimacy by @stuffnonsenseandotherthings 

LitBC - The Structure of Change @dylogpenchester

Love in the Big City Book Club: Part 4 by @profiterole-reads

Love in the Big City Part 4 Check In by @bengiyo

Love in the Big City Part 4: Having Trouble Letting Go by @twig-tea

Love in the Big City: Part Four- Regret, Rain, Love, and Loss by @wen-kexing-apologist

the story | relationships + Young by @hyeoni-comb

Young and Imperfect Character Growth by @lurkingshan

Young asking himself meaningful questions by @hyeoni-comb

And that's all for now, folks! Thanks to everyone who participated; it was such a fun experience discussing this book with you. Excited to get the chance to talk more about this story with all of you when the adaptations arrive later this year.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 39 Doomish Hope Posting

Hi internet void. I've got bachi on the brain again.

Chapter 39 is the "if they aren't soulmates I'll eat every hat I own" moment of the series. Also seems like the "Hakuri will be shelved once the mission is done" chapter, which is a fucking shame. But I will remain calm(ish) and wait for Hokazono-sensei to finish cooking. So we start off with some really nice foreshadowing coupled with a little continuity update. Mr. Inazuma found his way to Char and Hinao and sees some of the folks from the storehouse get dropped off at the entrance, but his sister isn't among them. Hmm. Then, we switch back to the fight and see our precious Hakuri struggling. He's got a free-flowing nosebleed and a splitting headache trying to keep up with his dad's manipulation of the subspace. And hey look, some more foreshadowing. (Hint: Kyoura isn't talking to Chihiro full time here.)

Yet once again Kyoura underestimates his son...

… while Chihiro's faith never wavers. Once more, despite nothing being said between them, they fight in perfect harmony.

Aaaaah. THESE GUYS. They've known each other for weeks at most and they're already doing this mad OP shit? Hakuri awakened to his storehouse powers less than an hour ago and he's already copying his dad's techniques to match Chihiro's fighting style? Chihiro fucking yeeted Enten at Kyoura without a word and Hakuri instantly understood that he needed to teleport him to the other side to catch it, then create a hologram for a fake-out so Chihiro could land the blow? Are you KIDDING ME? Our color-coded protagonist/foil pair are acting as one already? Hokazono-sensei's gotta slow down or we won't have anything left to explore with them.

Maybe that's the intention, though.

The little flashback where young Hakuri tells his father that "I'm gonna become a leader who surpasses you!" is a huge moment in the chapter for two reasons. First, the emotional catharsis that I'll rant about later. Second, the next potential bit of foreshadowing. When Hakuri initially met Chihiro, his stated goal was to end the Rakuzaichi, which we took him at his word for. He didn't know he was actually the second coming of Sazanami Jesus and neither did we. But that single panel recontextualized everything. If Hakuri hadn't been deemed worthless and disowned, the Toukuri AU could have been pretty close to canon. He's actually a very ambitious guy- no wonder he was so dogged about getting Chihiro to help him! Obviously, his goal shifted from "become a better leader than my father" to "burn it all down" at some point during the time where he was abused. But what if he never fully let go of that dream?

We see that the Sazanami family is huge and powerful enough that even the government treads lightly around them. So it's not a stretch to think that Sazanamis will be able to continue on even without Kyoura as long as they have a capable leader. Someone perhaps a bit more reform-minded to keep the government off their back while they adjust to a new way of doing things. A guy who's too stubborn to quit and powerful enough to quell the critics; a legitimate heir who invokes the legend of their progenitor's genius, perhaps. Someone who has a deeply personal stake in erasing the legacy they were all groomed to protect. So yeah, Hakuri could very easily get wrapped up in his family's business while Chihiro moves on. Not to say he would never be relevant again- the storehouse ability alone practically guarantees he's sticking around in some capacity (gotta have a safe place to keep those WMDs and all). But I'm steeling myself for seeing a lot less of this lethal cinnamon roll in a few chapters.

Ideally for me at least, Hakuri and Chihiro end the Rakuzaichi and let the government step in to take care of the aftermath. Hakuri, being disowned and having completed his revenge, decides to stay with Chihiro to help him on his own journey. And wouldn't it just be so sweet if much later on Chihiro adopts him into his family register so Hakuri has a last name he can be proud of? But the very real chance of Hakuri being sidelined is preventing me from full investment right now. It all depends on the themes Hokazono-sensei is intending to impart with this arc.

The theme of reforming your family's violent legacy is obviously deeply resonant with Chihiro's current mission. The two of them have basically speedran the development from strangers to soulmates so that this could happen. I just don't understand why we'd do all of this relationship upgrading in a single arc if Hakuri was meant to stick around and grow with Chihiro y'know? What could possibly be left open for them after this? Wouldn't it be too OP to keep them together when they're already silently dancing through battles in perfect sync? They've already reached peak combat effectiveness or close to it. And though Hakuri's family issues are very likely to still be an albatross around his neck, those are for him to tackle now that he's found his strength; Chihiro's got other things to focus on. Leaving the arc with Hakuri posed to reform the Sazanamis would be a worthy culmination of his story. At this point he's practically used goods (narratively speaking)! Chihiro learned a lesson and made a friend. Time for something new… maybe checking in on the Kamunabi? A little downtime before finding the next sword? Either way, Hakuri doesn't need to be there when he could be rehabilitating his family's image and purpose. Unless…

He's used to explore the theme of healing from tragedy as the heroine.

Yes I'm spouting my bullshit again and yes I'm very fucking serious about this. My clown suit is freshly dry-cleaned and neatly laid out because I could easily be wrong but I think (hope) I'm not. Mostly because it seems like Hokazono-sensei wants to keep showing us glimpses of Chihiro's true feelings under his hardened persona. Very smart thing to do in order to get readers invested beyond his badass action stunts and tragic backstory. But we need someone to bounce off of him and be a direct contrast or else we're stuck with lonely ol' :| Chihiro all the time. (I love the deadpan gags but they won't stay fresh forever if that's the only joke to make with him.) We need a real companion for him that's on his level. Chihiro's so far skewed into expressionless determinator outside of battle that he desperately needs a polar opposite to help mellow him out. I raved like a lunatic about it already so I won't retread all that… but if Hakuri isn't a color-coded foil to balance out Chihiro's extreme personality then fuck me for thinking I'm somewhat media literate, I guess. We need Hakuri for levity and being able to relate to Chihiro. Poor guy desperately needs a friend to help pull him out of his own head. If Char is there for protection, and Shiba to guide him, Hakuri should be there for him to grow with in an emotional sense. Someone he can start opening up to in quiet moments.

The memers got it badly wrong assuming that Chihiro was a one-dimensional revenge bot- he's actually a sensitive guy carrying a lot of pain he can't express. Not to Char (small child), not to Shiba, Azami, or Hinao (adults he's emotionally closed off from). It's gotta be a peer like Hakuri who will eventually be able to sit by his side and help him. We've seen the magic of Hakuri's presence already- Chihiro admitting he was fearful of Shinuchi being misused in the elevator scene, helping him overcome his doubts about using Enten, and later helping him let Enten go. Yuge stuff for guys that just met each other, don't you think? Then it was followed by all that soulmate-coded stuff in the raid… It would be awful for Chihiro to lose the friend he can confide in. So if the story pulls them apart my heart will break a little bit, yeah. There's so much more Hakuri can do just by being there for Chihiro in a way no one else can right now. Chihiro needs his heroine to be vulnerable with, so let it be the guy who's already done the heavy lifting! Hakuri's a sturdy guy, after all- I'm sure he can handle being comic relief and emotional support.

Alright. HakuHiro delusions aside, I'm also going absolutely apeshit over the parallels being drawn here during the chapter. Feral. Certifiably insane. Cannot stop myself from jizzing all over the goddamn place. If Hokazono-sensei can keep this quality storytelling through Kagurabachi's entire run it'll be a fucking masterpiece.

I mentioned at the start that Mr. Inazuma's sister was used to foreshadow that the fight between Kyoura and team HakuHiro wouldn't end decisively this chapter. Her situation won't be resolved until the Rakuzaichi is completely over with, so that catharsis will have to wait. What we did get is absolutely stellar though. Kyoura definitely got the ultimate comeuppance for constantly underestimating Hakuri, too. The dialogue and inner thoughts leading up to this were a work of art- the reveal of Hakuri promising to overtake his dad as a kid and finally doing just that after being deemed worthless is mega satisfying (and another sign his arc is complete, but I choose to live in delulu land). However, it was the Daddy Issues theme that really stole the show for me this chapter.

Chihiro's conversation with Kyoura really drives home the irreconcilable differences they have on what it means to be a father, or even a family in the first place:

The Sazanamis are just a "clan" to Kyoura. A group of people dedicated to hosting the Rakuzaichi before anything else. Blood ties are only worthwhile for passing down Isou and the storehouse ability; there's no love lost between any member. And Chihiro most definitely does not agree with that mentality. We're constantly reminded of his rebuke about Kyoura's "best" being belief in Hakuri for a reason...

... because he is the antithesis of everything Chihiro believes a father should be. Chihiro's got some personal beef with this guy beyond reclaiming Shinuchi after seeing how he treats his kids. (This guy gets attached to people and starts killing for them right away if they've got dead or abusive parents… we love to see that empathy being manifested as murderous intent.)

This sequence killed me though:

Kyoura is paying the ultimate price for not loving his kids like a real father should. He's fucking toast because he stopped believing in Hakuri. Chihiro's outlook is validated in this victory, as is Hakuri's entire existence. Obviously there's a lot more still going on with the auction itself but it's almost mission accomplished and emotional catharsis achieved for Hakuri. Then we see the biggest message of this arc so far when Kyoura hides himself in the floor to keep the auction going at all costs… fanatical devotion at the expense of love leads to a Bad End. It's sad to see this guy put his whole being into selling a sword, man. He's dying and his only thought is to finish the auction. Not to seek help from his kids or even check on them, not to spare some dying words for Hakuri or the Tou or anyone else. He doesn't even question the life he lived that led to this point like you'd seen in other manga- Kyoura isn't shaken one bit by his untimely demise. He only cares about giving the highest bidder their merchandise.

That's the lesson here for Chihiro. He's hellbent on revenge right now- gather the swords, fuck up the Hishaku clan that killed his father. But losing himself in it will leave him no better off than Kyoura; even if he succeeds, he'll die alone in the end. His devotion to revenge is as strong as Kyoura's is to hold the auction. Both are rooted in their family's ideals and upbringing as well. Chihiro's saving grace is that he was raised with love and knows how to care. Forgetting all that, or giving that up to see his plans through will be a bad sign for his development. The people close to him will have to keep him centered or else he'll see the same terrible end (as much as it's possible; he's a very sad and broken boy). And we the reader will expect someone to be there to remind him of his humanity if he starts to show shades of this in future arcs. This very chapter, Hakuri had to encourage Chihiro to kill his dad even after he'd already asked him to do it- Chihiro's a kind guy even when he's in a fight to the death. This is precious. He can't lose this quality- we should be very alert for anything that hints at him starting to do so, because that will be the start of a very, very rough arc for him.

What about Hakuri? Well, he's been thoroughly vindicated ever since he awakened to his abilities; this whole raid has been his self-redemption arc. His character will probably be pretty complete once this is done, though there are lots of avenues to explore with him if Hokazono-sensei hears our pleas and keeps him around. He could have lingering trauma that needs to be healed- killing his dad won't help him escape his own demons after all. He's got a learning curve ahead to master his newfound abilities too. And perhaps even after finding his strength, he's still too hard on himself and needs someone to keep pushing him forward. Maybe once his life's mission is done he'll struggle with some dark emotions and need someone to help pull him out. There are plenty of little things to delve into with him to help us gain more insight into Chihiro! Please I'm so desperate to keep him around Hokazono-sensei for the love of god don't separate these boys. They're perfect supports for each other and as we all know, boys who suffer together should find solace together. If Azami/Shiba and Hiyuki/Tafuku can be foil pairs so can Hakuri/Chihiro! (Fuck me, I'm too invested already…)

Anyway. Kagurabachi continues to be peak fiction and I can't wait for what we'll see next week. If Hakuri becomes a permanent crew member I will glady put the clown suit away and start huffing copium that we'll see enough success to get an anime adaptation. I might even start writing fan fiction again (horror). If not, well... he'll still be dear to my heart. Peace out Bachibros who read this nonsense and stay tenoí.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

LITBC Part Three: Now Introducing, Kylie

Okay, it looks like I get to talk about what I am now claiming is my incredible, dead-center accurate read on Young and how his relationships continue to falter. In Part One, I talked about how I believed one of the biggest reasons that Young and Jaehee slowly drifted apart in their friendship was because at some point Jaehee got serious and Young still could not allow himself to experience deep emotion, brushing everything off as a joke. Pretending it didn’t matter. Pretending it didn’t hurt. 

And it’s curious to me because I feel like we got to see Young leaning in to the deeper emotions, the heavier pain during Part Two, but it wasn’t enough to alter him wholly, though considering how he describes his relationship with Gyu-ho as boring it seems like there are parts of him that are starting to change. Just…not enough because when it comes down to the actual tough, serious shit, he still can’t bring himself to feel it, to voice it. He can’t do anything but smile through it, and as someone who has dealt with people like that it is frustrating as fuck to try over and over again to be there for someone, to offer support, a listening ear, understanding and sincerity and just be met with a joke. 

Maybe it’s just cause I’ve spent more time in his head now, or maybe it’s because he’s starting to loosen his grip just a little, but the death by a thousand paper cuts was really bleeding through the chapter for me in relation to Young and how he navigates his HIV diagnosis. To be clear, I do not mind that he calls it Kylie, that he has put his own name to it, that he considers is a part of him, that it’s almost like family to him. But that does not negate the fact that he does not ever say it. He never says “HIV” not once in the entirety of Part Three does he write the words HIV.

He describes it all, how he got it, what his symptoms are (his description of the fever and the red patches matches common symptoms of acute HIV to a T), he jokes about it with his friends, and otherwise he keeps it hidden, until Gyu-ho becomes important enough in his life that he has no choice but to tell him. And in all these instances Young is taking it harshly. His healthcare providers don’t deliver the news with care, going the homophobic route of asking Young what sex position he prefers while delivering his diagnosis. 

You know what I find extremely interesting about this book so far is how terribly the healthcare industry has been presented. That is not to say there aren’t problems, there are plenty of problems with healthcare both systemic issues and individual provider issues, I am not necessarily trying to say he is wrong in his portrayal. I just noticed that in Part One we got Jaehee’s terrible shame-y doctor and Young’s terrible homophobic nurses, in Part Two we got the psychiatric facility that essentially tortured Young for six weeks before telling him his mother was actually the problem and offering him no additional support for what they had just put him through, in Part Three his providers are homophobic and not only that but Gyu-ho’s brother who is in medical school is described as the most dickish, vile, piece of shit to date. 

Young’s HIV diagnosis definitely recontextualizes some stuff from Parts One and Two, (forgive me for not going in to further detail, I was brain foggy when I ready Part Two last week and can’t recall a lot from it off the top of my head) but moreover it adds an additional layer to Young’s utter refusal to let himself feel. Every aspect of Young’s HIV diagnosis is harsh, the healthcare providers who break the news are harsh, T-ara’s jokes about the HIV+ guy they see walking past after Young is essentially forced to out his status (want to just call out the parallel here between Young having to out himself in college and then having to out himself with friends) are harsh, the barriers that he faces and his fears of discrimination in the workforce are harsh. The only person who is ever soft about it is Gyu-ho. 

And I do think that scares him, and where Young calls himself dickmatized for his boyfriend in Part Two, in Part Three he just keeps calling Gyu-ho cute, he and Gyu-ho live together for awhile, they split up but come back to one another, Young seems more settled. And honestly, I think that has a lot to do with the fact that they aren’t having sex. 

I feel the need to clarify, since book club has a lot of people who I don’t think are as familiar with my essay content, that I am not anti-sex. I don’t think that Gyu-ho and Young’s relationship is as successful as it is for as long as it is because sex is morally wrong and they shouldn’t be doing it or anything like that. I think that the absence of sex in Gyu-ho and Young’s relationship forces Young to actually consider what a relationship looks like to him and what he wants out of it. The Young we met in Part One was a fuck-the-pain-away kind of person, he and Jaehee got along so well partially because they were both sluts and therefore knew they could talk about their sexual encounters without being shamed or judged. 

In Part Two, Young really seems to use his boyfriend as a distraction from his mother and his mother’s treatments. He allows himself to ignore huge disparities in his relationship for some dick, he changes parts of himself for some dick, he attempts suicide after losing that dick. As the wise @bengiyo always says, dick is not magical, it cannot fix you. And Young really has to reckon with that in Part Three when he gets in to a relationship with a man who actually feels things, unlike himself, unlike Jaehee, unlike his ex because Young can’t use sex as a crutch. 

Full disclosure, I hadn’t heard about condom-associated erectile problems (CAEP) until reading this book. Had no clue that was a thing before. Bearing in mind that these studies are over a decade old, studies have shown that erection loss can occur in roughly 14-28% of people during condom application. At the time of Part Three, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) which helps minimize the chances of acquiring HIV should you be exposed to the virus was not on the market in South Korea. Truvada and Descovy are the two branded PrEP medications, Truvada has been on drug markets since 2004 (when it was taken in combination with other medications) but was not approved for use without other med combinations in the United States until 2012, the first CDC guidelines for Truvada usage came out in 2014, and Truvada did not hit South Korean drug markets until 2018 with Descovy following close behind in 2019. PrEP is an incredibly important drug in HIV prevention because it reduces the risk of acquiring HIV via by up to 99% (and reduces the chance of getting HIV from injection drug use by 75%!) 

If PrEP had been around at the time, it would have been expensive and likely unaffordable for at a time when Gyu-ho’s income was helping to support not only himself by Young as well (Truvada in South Korea cost over $10 a pill and must be taken daily, so Gyu-ho would have had to shell out $300 a month for the medication alone). Compare that to the first antiretroviral treatment (ART) in South Korea, zidovudine which is supplied for free by the South Korean government, or their highly-active antiretroviral treatment (HAART) which was covered by insurance. Studies have shown that triple combination therapy, that is three different medications, were able to reduce HIV to undetectable levels within one month for 70% of patients and to 90% of patients within one year. Considering Young’s mention of liver protection medication, he is likely on a triple combination therapy. 

Is this a tangent? Yes. But did this all make me realize something? Also yes. Young never gets a blood test. With a consistent HAART regimen this is an extremely high likelihood that Young would have had an undetectable viral load. For those of you who don’t know how human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) works, the virus destroys white blood cells in your body which are used to fight infections, with a compromised immune system the chances of acquiring additional infectious diseases are high as are the chances of having extremely bad cases of those infectious diseases increasing your chance of death from things like pneumonia, or in a lot of HIV to AIDS progression cases kaposi’s sarcoma which is a type of cancer. 

The success of antiretroviral treatments is measured by how low of a viral load a person has (think of it like measuring how much HIV you have in you). Viral load is measured through blood work. When the viral load is low enough it becomes undetectable and when a person is undetectable they are untransmittable (U = U) meaning they cannot give HIV to their sexual partner. The U = U campaign didn’t really take off until 2016, so it is still entirely possible that had Young been undetectable at the time that he still would not know that he could not transmit the virus to Gyu-ho. But he never got a blood test. 

All of which is an extremely long winded way of saying that Gyu-ho had infrequent success at remaining erect while wearing a condom resulting in infrequent penetrative sexual encounters with Young because the best way to prevent transmission of HIV is through condom usage. But The King of Kings of Avoidant Personalities sent Gyu-ho to his first blood test and withdrew his job application and essentially forced Gyu-ho to break up with him rather than get the second blood test. So it is likely, and honestly very highly likely that any concerns Young had about the lack of sex he and Gyu-ho were having could have been solved by Young getting his bloodwork done and keeping an eye on his viral load. 

This of course also assumes that Young is keeping up with pretty meticulously with his treatment regimen, which he most likely is not. Inconsistent medication adherence not only makes it more likely that Young’s viral load would never reach undetectable levels, but also increases his risk of his HIV infection mutating and becoming resistant to antiretroviral treatments. Which is…bad.  

So let’s say that his viral load never reached undetectable levels, or they didn’t know U = U, and the condom problem still existed. Maybe it is just a western lens coming in to this, but I think with all the queer media I’ve consumed, with all the queer people I am around on a daily basis the dilemma that Young seems to be carrying around knowing that Gyu-ho wants to have sex and that his CAEP and Young’s status makes that very difficult I see and understand where the barrier comes in. But because Young never talks about anything, especially what is troubling him, there is no room to really talk about solutions to that problem. I think about relationship structures like polyamory or open relationships. I think about a number of non-penetrative ways they could have had sex or how they could have used sex toys. But again, I don’t have the cultural context to understand what gay culture is/was like in Korea, and I know these are not solutions that always work for everyone anyways.

But just like we will never know if Young was undetectable before Gyu-ho left for Shanghai, we will never know if alternative solutions to sex would have been feasible for this couple because Young whether through circumstance or his own volition is constantly trapped between a rock and a hard place. He won’t engage in open communication with Gyu-ho, he won’t be vulnerable with Gyu-ho, so he doesn’t know how the lack of sex is impacting Gyu-ho in their relationship. He doesn’t want to experience discrimination based on his HIV status and possibly lose out on a job so instead he blows up all chances of getting that job by withdrawing his application so that he doesn’t have to get tested. Not getting tested means he doesn’t have an accurate gauge of his health, which means he doesn’t have an accurate gauge of how safe it would be to have unprotected sex with Gyu-ho, which perpetuates the cycle. 

Young is running from his feelings, running from his pain, his loneliness, his fear. In Part One, Young and Jaehee started to drift apart after Young was not able to treat Jaehee’s abortion with sincerity; in Part Three, Young and Gyu-ho drift apart because Young is so scared of his HIV that he can’t even look it in the eye. He can’t even call it by its name. 

[mildiva]

So I’ve Decided To Start A Blog About Music And Parties

the idea came to me on a break at work after leaving my phone at home, my mind never clearer… i should be blogging about music. pitchfork is dead, first of all, and third of all it’s something i cannot live without, so why not?

I’m not sure of the “” format “” this will take but right now i’ll just write things as they come?? and part of my love for music is of course parties. they’re still so life giving to me and i still think nothing is better than dancing with gay ppl some of whom are my friends and hearing them dj. some of them are even good! it’s just spaces of eternal and endless flowing love. anyways.

arianka is back!! when i first heard yes, and?, i thought “alright miss grande this is cute!” and it’s grown on me ever since. I’ve been anticipating this album, seeing what direction she would go. i’ve been listening to sweetener every day for the last few weeks mostly because the eating 4 free series on ariana recontextualized her… everything, i guess?? i’d always seen her as just like a Nickelodeon product industry plant which as a certified quirky-not-like-other-girl syndrome haver did not interest me. i was still listening ofc but i wasn’t invested like i was in say lady gaga (and oh how the tables have turned on stefani the pharmacy tech but i digress!) anyways the five part e4f series on her, how she got started with looping covers of imogen heap on youtube, her serious involvement in the production of all her albums, really digging into the pain and scrutiny she’s been through from her time with The TV Producer Who Shall Not Be Named to the donut incident (which i always thought was a slay) to the literal Manchester bombing, her relationships especially with mac miller… not gonna call myself an arianator or w/e but i am a fan now, especially after relistening.

before i get into the album i just want to say this: the music video for we can’t be friends was adorable! it’s very sad that we don’t get music videos anymore because they’re not profitable or useful for marketing. still haven’t seen the yes and video but i’ll get to it. my main point is that give evan peters a stingy little mustache, grow his hair out a little longer, and he could pass for spongebob slater! so many people on twitter are mocking him for his looks/ariana for being with him but gassing up evan. look, ethan is… not a guy i would approach in a bar let’s say, but i’d let him buy me a drink, you know? and if we’re to believe ariana on supernatural and ordinary things, they have something special! tweets will go viral about “every hot girl needs a medium ugly bf” but she’s not allowed to do it? anyways.

if you detect a pivot in tone here, it’s because i’m no longer blogging with a sour cream donut and 3/4 of a dunkin latte with oatmilk and nothing else fueling my body, sun glowing through the clouds and full of optimism.. there’s a harried blogging now while i try and finish this before i hop in the shower to get ready for a hookup tonight. also, i’ve been thinking and listening to eternal sunshine again, reading and digesting lyrics and of course many many stan tweets about it.

first, i’d like to amend something i stated earlier that i refuse to edit: evan peters represents dalton her ex(?) husband, not ethan. (side note: i wonder if she’s thought back to the line in thank u, next where she says she hopes she’ll only get married once. either way the song is still a smash!) i of course forgive my confusion because, for reasons unknown even to myself, i assumed the majority of this album was about the forbidden romance that soon overflowed into her public relationship with spongebob, but it’s not! this is very much a breakup album and nobody is bored in it.

i’m really fascinated by this because ariana took such a turn in disappearing from the public eye after getting together with dalton (which was certainly aided by the pandemic). as a non-stan, i couldn’t tell you what little she HAS been putting out, but if the inimitable joan summers couldn’t find pictures of her for a two year period, it’s safe to say she was lying low. and yes there have been jokes and supposition about “ariana wasn’t allowed to talk about the divorce as per their agreement but she sang about it~~” BUT! if we take that into consideration (and also rely on the journalistic analysis of e4f), most of the negative press and comments came from dalton and his camp. divorce agreements and technicalities of speech aside, i think she chose a much kinder way to speak about their relationship. even she says she wishes she hated him (knowing very little about their relationship, I’m happy to hate him off of the line about him turning the tv up on her crying) but she doesn’t! even with songs like the boy is mine, supernatural, and ordinary things, she really details a story of a relationship disintegrating with both her and dalton finding other people. it’s certainly not the cheating homewrecker story everybody was running with months ago. even if the arianators turn on dalton, he’s still spared any real damage to his reputation because she doesn’t paint him as a monster, scoundrel, narcissist, etc. not to get too “a man can laugh but a woman can only chortle” about it, but i hope people who wrote ariana off listen and reconsider that despite the tabloids and the lyrics, none of us know what went down in that marriage.

okay but what about the music? this will maybe be the shortest part of this blog (oops!), but I’m really fascinated with the narrative around and in the album. the music, I’ll probably need to listen for another week before i have anything worthwhile to say (i need to go full geek on it). keeping it brief, it felt very airy. sonically it sounds like the imaginary room the cover was shot in: spacious and full of sunbeams. something about some of the songs (wait for your love and yes, and?) felt very 80s to me, but i’d need a psychoanalyst to explain that to me. you still hear an rnb influence throughout, but why wouldn’t you? obviously the boy is mine, but true story as well with the bass straight out of “pony” by ginuwine and a drum pattern (pattern, not sample, don’t get it twisted) similarly to “don’t hurt yourself” by beyoncé. my personal favorite of the album was imperfect for you, but i’m a sucker for a pedal tone that creates dissonance, what can i say?

if you’ve actually read this far thank you? im amazed that you read a 20 mile long blog that frankly, is not even well written yet. xoxo 🐇

[maddy-ferguson]

mike stans once acknowledging mike had reasons to lash out and hurt other people won’t turn into his get out of jail free card for any less stellar behavior in his relationships within show canon. like you truly think revealing mike is gay will transform el into his guidance counsellor and console him during /their/ breakup? or all the other characters are gonna now have to ‘turn around and owe an apology to mike’ cause it was their responsibility to notice that he was repressed and coping badly and help grant him the retroactive narrative carte blache due to going through really sympathetic shit? everyone on this show has gone and is still going through the shit. a good few coped so bad, and STILL went out of their way to minimize making their problems others’. like sorry mike’s character means he has terrible coping mechanisms for his issues, me loving him involves acknowledging it’s been kinda terrible, for him AND his loved ones > ‘mike’s never done anything wrong’

this ask is 30 hours old and i planned on saying something about how i was putting an end to my st related asks hiatus that only lasted five days but then someone sent me an ask about mike losing a poll after i talked about how he was losing a poll and no one had sent me an ask and i answered it before getting to this one because i was like time is of the essence...anyway

i was gonna say rip st related asks hiatus because this one is really good. the el part i agree with especially, thinking el is gonna be all oh it's okay is like borderline offensive (# to me) and i think it kind of...denies her agency? she's a whole person with feelings and emotions who was also hurt in this relationship. she's not his mom, they're not particularly close as friends, we see her looking mad at him at the end of season 4...why would SHE be the one to console him. because he's queer in the 80s and dealing with internalized homophobia and all that sure but like...that's his ex-girlfriend who was crying over the fact that he never said i love you to her like A WEEK AGO lmao

anyway i agree with everything you said, it's not like they had any way of knowing and even then it doesn't recontextualize every single thing he's ever done wrong (which is you know...okay! normal!). and yes of course being queer in the 80s is something that makes him easy to empathize with but literally everyone has something going on. some of them are even queer in the 80s themselves. lol

[mag200]

(yj death anon) thank you for giving me the tally! idk why but i didn’t realize there was two seasons even though i saw the numbers on gifsets lol. which death was the most painful for you? did any of them make you mad? and were any of them disappointing?

i think what hits so hard about a lot of yellowjackets deaths is you see them coming a mile off and you know it's gotta happen but (for me anyway) you love them so much you keep hoping they're gonna hold on a little longer, and when they finally go it's almost a relief to stop having to hope for them. and then you get to watch the surviving characters (emotionally and/or physically) cannibalize that character and the grief just stunts them more and more. so it tends to be emotionally devastating but really enjoyable.

natalie's death was literally just yesterday so i havent wrapped my head around that as much yet and it goes crazy bc shes absolutely always been one of my favorite characters, in both the teen and adult timelines i get so excited every time she's on the screen. so to watch her adult counterpart die and know we're not gonna see her again is definitely a blow and i wonder if i'm going to enjoy the adult timeline as much without her. a lot of ppl are big mad about her death but from a narrative standpoint, i saw it coming, and i wouldn't say it 100% had to happen but i get why they did it.

there are other deaths, like javi for example who we just lost last week, where you really dont want to see it happen and it doesn't feel good but it makes perfect sense within the story. javi's death recontextualized everything we've ever seen about adult natalie and made her make so much sense. in season 1 it was kind of similar with jackie and shauna, where we knew the whole time jackie was going to die but we didn't know how or when - and to see that it was shauna's fault made adult shauna suddenly make so much sense. with javi it's a lot harder for me personally to sit with bc he's really just a kid, i think he's like 14 maybe? so yeah just really really awful to see, i had to look away for some of the scenes dealing with his body.

i think the most painful death tho is shauna's baby, which, you're not even really attached to the baby itself while watching bc you don't get to have any time with it but that episode is so unbelievably painful for shauna, and sophie nelisse (the actress) was truly going for all the fucking awards. shauna at this point has lost and cannibalized her best friend, gone into labor while severely malnourished, hallucinated holding her baby and him being alive and healthy, only to wake up and find that he never lived at all. we see her have a (not fully addressed tbh) bit of a psychotic break where she believes that everyone ate her baby and it's truly so fucking brutal.

one thing tho is that despite the brutality these deaths do not feel gratuitous and i really appreciate that. they make sense within the story and affect the other characters in ways that i can understand.

[chainsmokingspacepenguin]

WEEK 21 of lurid daydreaming

The major puzzles for Never Evergreens, Titan's Tempests, and Onyx Glacier are done! Unfortunately, I could not come up with anything for Silvered Stray, so it has been deleted. RIP to the lil' artificial moon.

What I'm looking for (no guarantees I can achieve this) is a game that has the following properties:

The playspace gets recontextualized when the game's objective changes

The game's objective changes through discovery

Something you were doing before the recontextualization happens is a relevant skill to the new goal

My favorite game, Outer Wilds (2019) (WARNING, SPOILERS AHEAD), has some of these elements, but I feel like they can be pushed further. Once you figure out what's actually causing the supernova and how to get to the Eye, your new goal is figuring out how to get to it. The game didn't hit property #1, hits property #2, and kind of touches property #3.

What I originally thought was going to happen was that once you figure everything out, your new goal is to figure out how to take everyone (Chert, Gabbro, etc.) to the Eye with you. I thought there were more discoveries to be made on each planet, and I would find a way to visit every planet, facing the challenges each planet brings, within 22 minutes.

I want to capture that feeling of a true, final grand tour and one where if you feel like you can't visit every planet within 22 minutes, you can target the planets/Hearthians you're confident you can hit.

It would be a wonderful adventure... and I have no idea how to achieve that.

[goldengalaxy99]

I posted 1,156 times in 2022

50 posts created (4%)

1,106 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@quinnathy

@aquitainequeen

@robiinbuckley

@moondoposting

I tagged 927 of my posts in 2022

Only 20% of my posts had no tags

#moon knight - 190 posts

#fanart - 162 posts

#marc spector - 132 posts

#steven grant - 132 posts

#marvel - 131 posts

#mcu - 70 posts

#daredevil - 62 posts

#black panther: wakanda forever - 60 posts

#she hulk - 60 posts

#hotd - 59 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#he's a warrior. he's a clown. he's bisexual. he's everyone's best friend. he'll fight you on sight. he's vallavarayan vandiyadevan.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It's been a week and I'm still thinking about the Nandini-throne scene. So I'm gonna gush about it some more.

As someone who didn't read the books, my knowledge of the characters and their motivations were wholly reliant on the movie. And up until that scene, I was trying to figure out where Nandini's loyalties lie and what her motivation is.

At first I thought she's loyal to her husband then we see her help Vanthiyathevan only for her to immediately sell him out to her husband and then in a surprise twist we see her conspiring with the Pandya spy. Even after Karikalan tells his story, her motivations remain a mystery because the story was so one-sided and its obvious there's more to it.

And so when we see her look longingly at the throne as she envisions her younger self sitting on it, everything about her character becomes crystal clear. We still don't know alot of her character history but we know what's most important. That Nadini is loyal to no man or kingdom. She is loyal only to herself and the throne is what has motivated her all this time.

The scene doesn't just introduce us to the true Nandini but it also recontextualizes the whole movie. Nandini was always a major player in the movie but after that scene the audience realizes that she IS the mastermind behind it all and the only one truly challenging her at this point is Kundavai

I also think it's such a clever way of translating what I'm sure is a lot of rich source material about her character into a simple and elegant scene.

Like I said before, i have CHILLS

71 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#4

Spoilers for wakanda forever

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Really loved the scene at the end of shuri and namor's battle when we see scenes of the people of wakanda and talokan cut together. It reminds us of how similar these societies are. The scene flashes through pivotal moments of joy and grief and love in both shuri and namor's life. And that helps us remember the humanity of our fellow human. We have all lost and suffered and we all have precious things we must protect.

And it is better to choose peace than vengeance because every person carries a whole universe within them.

76 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#3

Listen the moment in Ponniyin Selvan when Nandini sees her younger self on the throne???? I HAD CHILLS

170 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

#2

Okay but the rage Jen felt was so palpable. Seeing her watch it unfold. Having her private life displayed before her coworkers and her family. That eye contact with her dad!! And having Mallory tell her not to do it but she's just so angry and rightfully so!!!!

Then to have the episode end with her barely contained rage, the tears on her face, and a close up of her as she looks at us. It all sinks in, she's truly a hulk now, feared by the public and surrounded by weapons pointed at her

358 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wakanda forever spoilers!!

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So I know alot of people have been focusing on the potential black panther recasting implications of T'Challa Jr.'s introduction in the post credits scene. But when I first watched it I was just so happy for shuri, who up to that point, had believed she was left all alone in this world. Only to be given this gift from her brother in the form of this adorable nephew that she can love and nurture and see grow into a great man. And all this coming after that amazing scene where she is finally able to properly mourn her brother

It was just so beautiful

360 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[theswarmanthology]

Silas, 23, Seattle

"I wasn’t really involved in the fandom until this tour, I knew the lore and followed blogs but I never actually posted about it. Since the tour started I’ve started an mcr blog and now it’s all I post."

Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 9+ years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 1 Favorite album: I have more than one favorite album Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: I'm still crying right now

Which date of the tour did you attend? 10/03/22, Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington

When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? I didn’t get them until about a month before the show. I tried when they first went on sale in 2020 but they were just too expensive. I ended up switching tickets three times in the weeks up to the show, buying better tickets and selling my previous ones. If they tour again, I’m going to save up and spend the money on pit tickets for sure, but we had a good view and I’m glad I spent like three weeks of my life checking Ticketmaster every fifteen minutes.

Did you attend with anyone else? My fiancée, who only knew a couple songs but went to support me.

What did you wear? I like to be comfy for concerts, I have a lot of sensory issues and I never want to be distracted from the music by my clothes. So I just wore an old black parade band tee with leggings and a shredded black tutu. And lots of eyeliner, it’s a prerequisite.

Where were your seats? Ray’s side <3 in the lower seats, just a couple sections away from the stage.

What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? I loved everything but I was so thrilled that I got to hear cemetery drive!

What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? I got most of the songs I wanted to hear, but I didn’t get sleep which is one of my favorites. I was really hoping for cemetery drive and planetary go, and they played both of those!

What was your favorite moment from the show? Gerard calling Robert Pattinson incredibly fucking handsome and then doing a double vampires encore in a twilight shirt, followed by taking us all out with cancer, was definitely a highlight.

What was the most unexpected moment from the show? Definitely the twilight encore, I love Gerard so much it was so funny.

Did you snag any merch? What pieces? Frank and Ray mystery shirts, tour shirt, and the decay hoodie! My partner got the beanie.

Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? Absolutely. I started listening to them originally right around the break up, and I was so deeply heartbroken that I was never going to see them. It was incredibly cathartic and healing to see them now, happy and thriving. I felt so safe in that crowd, I was stimming and moving the whole show and I never felt judged. It was easily my best concert experience, and I wasn’t even in the pit.

If you could change one thing about your show experience, what would it be? Pit tickets, I need to see them again and I need to be closer. I would absolutely camp out if necessary.

Has your perspective or opinion about the band changed since seeing them on this tour? If so, in what way? I feel like this tour has recontextualized their entire discography in a really healing way. They survived, and so did I, and I got to see them and scream along to the songs I listened to as a depressed teenager. This tour feels like it’s been healing for them as well as for us and it’s been so incredible.

What advice would you give to people seeing My Chemical Romance in the future? Scream as loud as you want. Don’t spend the whole time filming on your phone, I understand the urge but staying in the moment is so worth it. Get there early even if you don’t have pit tickets, I was there four hours early and I got to hear them soundcheck and got all the merch I wanted. Have the time of your life! Also drink water.

Thanks, Silas!

[somian-audere]

ENTRY XV

Declarations

You ever heard of the song, Goodbye Sengen [1] by Chinozo?

             I have been obsessed with that song for a good two years now, it’s cherry, peppy, and just really encapsulates my more shut-in self. Honestly, I just liked it because it was catchy.

Then last week, I read the light novel.

            This was my first mistake. The light novel took this really good song and just sprinkled it in with a bitter-sweet love story. It recontextualizes everything, as the poster girl with the white parka, is suddenly turned into an inspirational character and the song is the thoughts of the boy that fell for her ways. And by emulating her, he grows more confident and blooms into insanity.

The rendezvous that they had in that room,

            Still remain with him. Like the story is very basic, but stupidly cute and endearing. But the ending, AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! It tore me apart, damnit. They let go of each other, but in that very instance, they grow even closer as they chase after their dreams. In the epilogue, they both take the first steps towards their aspirations, and it’s quite touching.

The main characters,

            Really carry this story. As Kakeru Kiritani initially chastises the upbeat Rena Nanase’s (white parka girl) way of living but over time realizes that he was wrong, and that deep down, he wants what she had in spades. Rena, on the other hand, simply held out a helping hand. From thereon, it’s just a story filled with hijinks and joy, until the ending rips the rug from right under you, because you can’t be happy.

I’m really sorry,

            Endings like these really kill me, like what was all the build up for?! Though, yeah, Rena saved me from being a worse wreck. Sticking with her character trait of, “Chasing after your dreams, but hating sad endings,” leaving Kiritani with one last goodbye to the past.

Sadly,

            It’s likely that they’ll never get together again. The sequel light novel “Shamer,” [2] has the main character of Goodbye Sengen play a pivotal role in the story as a side character, the story had hints that they might meet again, but much farther down their lives. Shamer itself is a good story, but I just wasn’t as enthralled by it as Goodbye Sengen’s simpler premise which is also how I felt about their respective songs, funny how that works.

 Goodbye Declaration

            Is a story that doesn’t ask the reader to change, but rather one that convinces them to become themselves, despite every last bit of opposition they might face. And it doesn’t really downplay the difficulty in chasing after one’s dreams, but you just have to keep shooting for the moon, and who knows? You might just land on a star. Insane, you say? That’s fine, everyone needs a bit of insanity, to set their egos free, and let themselves bloom. References:

[1] Goodbye Sengen. (2020). Chinozo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHXC_ahjtEE [2] Shamer/Schema. (2020). Chinozo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH4b59syDYs

[bogkeep]

i talk a lot of shit about twitter, and it's my other main social media so i'm Allowed To!!!! however. i am feeling charitable today

twitter PROS:

- if you're actually interested in networking and opportunities, that's where the people are. it's a more public space. i am mutuals with some really cool people and i get most of my commissions through there.

- artist twitter is a thriving community!! there's designated hashtag posting days like portfolio day, women artists/nb artists/transmasc artists, drawing while black, and random art challenges and many other fun ways to discover and be discovered.

- muting and blocking functions that actually work! you can even turn off retweets from specific people on your feed if you only want their original posts!

- locking your account (or making a Secret Locked Side Account) is Quick Easy and Free

- there is good content on there. otherwise there wouldn't be so many screenshots of tweets on tumblr

- has not banned nsfw content as of yet

twitter CONS:

- all the cr*ptobros are there. oh god there's so many of them.

- all the celebrities are there too. there's also a bigger and bigger overlap with said cry*tobros.

- n*zis and t*rfs galore

- i was going to say "it's hell" but hell is empty and all the devils are on twitter

- everything happens so much.

- everything happens so much ALL THE TIME.

- as much as i enjoy artist side of twitter. if we have to debate whether or not using references is cheating one more time i am going to implode. every week there is a new art discourse. i am so sick of art takes and i studied art history for four years.

- the discourse cycle is unfortunately not exclusive to art twitter. every corner of twitter has its own set of discussions that it just feels the need to rehash on a regular basis, i'm sure. if you are a regular tweeter you will feel pressured and compelled to Add Your Take because it's the topic of the day and it feels weird to just ignore it and talk about other things. i'm not immune either! it's a hard life!

- tumblr is not the only site riddled with bad faith and poor reading comprehension. i'm pretty sure that's a curse upon every public space on the internet, and twitter is VERY public. also, tweets have a character limit, so if you want to say anything with any nuance at all, you're probably going to have to write a whole thread. know what else twitter has? a quote retweet function. the PERFECT way to take a statement out of context and recontextualize it. you can actually limit who replies to your tweets or turn off replies completely, but you cannot limit quote retweets.

- there's certain words that trigger bots to reply. if you say the word 'essay' uncensored, you'll immediately have five replies with "PAY FOR ESSAYS HERE!!!". or famously if you reply to art with "i want this on a t shirt" the print on demand sites pop up instantly.

- similarly, there's lots of shitheads who are not bots but don't have anything better to do with their life than to search for certain words and then harass anyone talking about these topics. i made an incredibly lukewarm tweet about t*rfs in like 2014 and immediately got some awful quote retweets. my friend said she wanted to punch t*rfs in 2017 and t*rfs mass reported her account until she got locked out of it. if your account isn't locked, you do actually have to be careful with what you tweet. i can't even make jokes about norwegian culture without getting some real weirdos in my mentions who are a litte TOO protective of Dear Precious White Scandinavian Culture

- if a tumblr post is good, it will circulate. it will be brought back every now and then. it will be immortalized in our museums and mausoleums. if a tweet is good, you will see it posted every couple months by different twitter users. not as memes, just plagiarism. i know Joke Credit isn't a big deal but it grinds my gears.

- you can see who other people follow, their follower counts, and their liked posts. terrible design really

- never meet your heroes

- this may be a pro for some, since it can Also be used for good: tweets can get Featured in news and articles or otherwise impact irl events. isn't it horrifying how much of a role twitter has on politics and things outside the internet sometimes? the only site using tumblr posts for anything is buzzfeed

- i'm so exhausted

IN CONCLUSION - different platforms are good for different things. twitter can be a genuinely useful tool. but also

twitter bad.

[overthinkingfandom]

Pandora's Prisoner - aka the art of planning in advance

(This was mostly written before the confirmation of the staged finale. While the content still holds up, the phrasing will reflect that fact.)

/rp /dsmp

“Who was the prison meant for?”

The question has been a subject of heated debate for almost a year now. Every so often a character or a CC would mention something and the topic would be at the forefront of discourse for a few days before fading into obscurity once again until the cycle continues anew.

Sam: “[Dream] said I need a prison that someone cannot escape no matter what.” Dream: “The problem is that the people or the person that right now is on my mind to be put in this is highly capable and, you know, it needs to be fortified.” (04:33:04)

This has been our only solid clue about the identity of the original prisoner, with most everything else being circumstantial at best and a mere assumption at worst. Guesses have ranged the spectrum of basically every character who was part of the server at that time (and even some who weren’t).

Many have given up the question as useless trivia or a mystery which never had an answer to begin with. It’s easy to see why. So much has happened with the prison since Dream was locked up that the original plans for it seem almost irrelevant. Sure, it could add some flavor and insight into Dream’s motive at the time, but those motives have led to arcs which have long since been resolved. The fact of the matter is that no matter who the original prisoner was it would hardly have any impact on the current narrative.

Well… almost.

There’s one person for whom being revealed as the original prisoner would massively shake the plot, recontextualizing past events and setting up new conflicts. Possibly even raising the stakes to a level we haven’t seen before.

That person being Dream himself.

And whoo boy, is there a lot of evidence to support that idea.

Let’s get the simple stuff out of the way first. The description Dream gives for the prisoner immediately brings to mind two people, Techno and Dream. The two most highly capable people on the server.

Techno certainly seems like a logical target. He’s the only one who really poses a threat to Dream in a fight. His ideology may motivate to take a stand against Dream in the future. Taking care of him before he could become an obstacle seems like the logical thing to do.

However that idea falls apart once it’s examined more closely. In order to lock up Techno, Dream would have to already defeat him in some way. And if he has Techno in his mercy it would be better to outright kill him and prevent him becoming a threat in a much more foolproof way. There’s no incentive to keep him alive. Even if Dream could usually consider Techo’s firepower as an asset, after locking him up it would be naive to expect good faith cooperation from him.

Furthermore, this is simply an inferior strategy to the one Dream was already using in order to prevent Techno from becoming a threat to him. Ever since Techno joined the server, Dream went out of his way to get on his good side and prevent their agendas from clashing. At the time of the prison’s commission It has been roughly two weeks since both of them fought side by side against L’manburg on November 16th. They weren’t friends, but they were far from enemies.

Locking Techno up would undermine all of Dream’s previous efforts and give Techno a reason to go against him, the very thing he tried to prevent. After all, a fight avoided is superior to a fight won.

Leaving us with Dream as the main person who fits the description.

Of course, the implications of that are a bit crazy. Dream gave the prisoner’s description on December 6th, while the disc finale happened on January 20th. Roughly a month and a half before it happened. Could Dream really have predicted things so far? Could he have planned things from so far back?

Well, no. And yes.

Such a degree of prediction is simply not humanly possible, even for a crazy good predictor like Dream. There are too many unknown variables, other people's decisions and stuff one can’t possibly take into account to do so. The further into the future you try to predict the worse the uncertainty gets. Trying to predict everything which would happen during that month and a half of dsmp’s plot is impossible.

Which is why Dream didn’t bother to.

His plan doesn’t rely on prediction at all. Instead it relies on two assumptions:

Dream would act according to his own plan.

He’s skilled enough to achieve the goals he set to himself.

The disc finale didn’t happen as a reaction to anything. It was done fully on Dream’s own initiative with every little bit of it - from the place to the time to even who participates - was under Dream’s control.

“Come see me Wednesday. You and Tubbo ALONE. If anyone else shows up the discs are gone forever.” ~The note Dream leaves Tommy about the disc finale. (2:44)

The disc finale was disconnected from anything preceding it in terms of cause and effect. Sure, Tommy and Tubbo were very much influenced by events like exile and doomsday, but they weren’t the one who decided to make the disc finale happen. Dream did. And Dream could’ve decided to make the disc finale happen whenever he wanted.

He could’ve decided to make it underwater instead of on top of a mountain. Built his lair in a desert or a forest or in the snow. He could’ve told Tommy to come alone, or he could’ve told him to bring Fundy, Quackity, Niki and whoever else Dream so desired. He could’ve told them to meet him directly in front of the prison.

He’s the one who decided to show the attachment vault, it would’ve been just as easy to skip that stage and do something else. If Dream wanted to, it would’ve been just as easy for him to come up with a bullshit lie that would distract Tommy from his actual plan, make a giant prop to support his claim and then do whatever he wanted to do with Tommy being none the wiser.

Everything about the disc finale was Dream’s decision and he only needed one thing to make it happen: Tommy’s discs.

So really, his plan was pretty simple:

Step one: Get Tommy’s discs. Step two: Do the disc finale. Step three: Get locked up.

So long as Dream could get his hands on the discs, and so long as he followed his own plan, there was nothing stopping him from planning the disc confrontation ahead of time. Not only in broad strokes either, but even as far as the details.

A detail like, say, how he would prevent himself from simply being outright killed.

On December 6th, the same day he gave the description of the prisoner, Dream mentions the revive book out of nowhere. He does so while in a call with BBH and Sam, as they’re all working on laying down the foundation for the prison. While he doesn’t mention the book’s ability he does say he got it in his deal with Schlatt and that he considers it “the most valuable thing on the server”.

Dream: “I have actually not ever to this point brought this up so this is interesting. Do you remember whenever I switched sides, like I was helping Pogtopia - mostly just because I didn’t like L’manburg and Manburg, I don’t like their government and I switched sides to Schlatt.” Sam: “Who died.” Dream: “And he died. But the reason I switched sides is because he gave me something in order to switch sides to him and I mentioned that I didn’t say what it was though but he did give me something.” (...) BBH: “Was it diamonds?” Dream: “No, *laughs*. But that card is always up my sleeve until I need it.” (…) Dream: “I won’t go into specifics, but what he gave me was a book.” (...) Dream: “I think it’s the most valuable thing on the server.” (01:06:51)

This mention is notable for how nothing previously in the conversation led up to it, as they were talking about something else entirely. Dream brought it up entirely out of his own initiative. What makes this even stranger is that despite bringing up the book himself, Dream keeps it shrouded in mystery and refuses to elaborate. Hell, he doesn’t even mention it’s a book initially!

There was absolutely no reason for him to bring it up there.

Even looking at it as OOC foreshadowing by CC!Dream for the sake of the audience doesn’t line up. This was done roughly three hours into BBH’s stream with an audience of thousands at best. It was such a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment that barely in the fandom talked about it afterwards. Certainly none of them remembered it.

Foreshadowing is a storytelling tool which serves to prime the audience to accept future events in the plot. It’s useless if the audience doesn’t know about it. Yet, this is the only time Dream brought up his deal with Schlatt or what he got from it since November 16th.

So why did he do so?

Well, just because it’s not OOC foreshadowing, doesn’t mean it’s not IC foreshadowing.

As mentioned, in that conversation Dream is talking to BBH and Sam, one of whom is a huge player in the upcoming prison arc. It could definitely be argued Sam is the most important person (or at most just behind Tommy) to convince of the revive book’s existence, as he’ll be the one tasked with keeping Dream alive in his cell.

Someone babbling about how they can bring the dead back to life seconds before they’re killed can be taken as a desperate lie in order to buy their survival. When that same someone has mentioned a book they consider the most valuable in all the server before, it’s a bit easier to believe said magic book might be real.

This isn’t the only time Dream showed knowledge of how (at least some) of the disc finale would go down.

BBH: “Why do you want to build a giant prison to hold the world’s most hardened criminals.” Dream: “Um, I can’t say too much. I guess it’s just like, there’s certain people who just don’t… who either are now a threat or in the future will be one, you know? There’s certain people like- I’d say I’m probably one of the more powerful people on the server, would you say that’s true?” BBH: “Yeah, I’d say that.” Dream: “I feel there’s certain people who may do bad things that might end up- that could potentially be powerful, you know?” BBH: “I see, I see. So it’s important to keep those people in check.” Dream: “It’s just an option because if you can’t kill somebody you might need to lock them up.” (01:01:03)

This is… oddly specific. It may not sound so at first as “too valuable to kill” is a familiar trope in this day and age but take into consideration the mechanics of a minecraft server. What possible skill or item could exist that would make someone too valuable to kill? Nothing in vanilla minecraft, that’s for sure. Definitely not anything anyone else had on the server at the time of the prison’s construction.

Some may argue that Tommy with his “bringing attachment” answers those criteria. And they would be right!

However, this argument fails in several other aspects. I’ve talked before about the numerous inconsistencies in the disc finale. Everything Dream said there should be looked over with a skeptical eye. Especially anything which lines up with the persona of a stereotypical villain Dream was pushing at the time.

One of the few lines we can be relatively sure about being genuine is the line about how the prison wasn’t meant for Tommy at first (52:17). If this is a lie it’s a sub-optimal one which goes against his agenda. Saying the opposite, that he commissioned a giant inescapable prison weeks ago just for locking Tommy up, would be far more threatening and further his image of obsession with Tommy.

Plus, this just raises weird questions. The kind of which Tubbo proceeds to immediately ask. We can see that his answer to Tubbo’s question is a deflection which shuts down that line of questioning, which is very different from his persona’s willingness to monologue and answer questions but fits much more to Dream’s true reserved nature.

Tubbo: “Who was [the prison] meant for originally?” Dream: “Ehh, you don’t need to know.” (52:17)

Another problem in assuming Tommy was the original prisoner is that he doesn’t answer the description Dream gave. A description which we can be sure is accurate as lying about the specifications by which the prison is to be built is counter-productive to the goal of actually getting a functioning prison which does what he wants.

Dream meanwhile is two for two for the description of the prisoner. We saw exactly how having the revive book (a supernatural object outside the boundaries of vanilla minecraft) made him too valuable to kill, leaving prison the only option they could use for him.

Another time we see Dream describing the disc finale way before it actually happens is on December 17th in his conversation with Punz, one day after Techno’s execution.

Dream: “There’s a lot that we can do, but there’s something that I’m doing soon that… Nobody’s gonna like me.” (...) Dream: “I’m gonna have to at some point leave you in charge here, while I… I go far away to avoid… death.” (7:40)

Most have read it as him talking about doomsday, yet there’s nothing specific pointing that way. Both doomsday and the disc finale are equally viable explanations for it, with the pharseing being more accurate to the disc finale.

Yet even if Dream is talking about doomsday here (which I don’t think is likely), this still points towards him being capable of planning the disc confrontation in advance.

Doomsday happened on January 6th, a good three weeks after this conversation happened with Dream having no possible knowledge of how the events leading up to it would go down. Very similar to his plan for the disc finale.

In addition, Dream here shows knowledge of his plans for after doomsday. If he got to that point, pretty much the next step from that is the disc finale. Between January 6th and January 16th - the day he leaves Tommy the message about the disc confrontation - he does… nothing. Nothing public at least. Literally the very next step in his plan after doomsday is the disc finale. Why wouldn’t an obsessive planner like Dream not figure out what he would do next when he’s very much capable of doing so?

All of which brings us to our last piece of evidence. The blueprint chest Dream left for Techno.

While everything else could be argued to be circumstantial evidence, this one is not quite so easy to dismiss.

The map blueprints, the placement under a specific block and Dream memorizing the coordinates all tell us the chest must’ve been placed by Dream before he got locked up. The place it was hidden in tells us it was always meant for Techno. The existence of the chest at all tells us Dream planned for being a prisoner.

Some may argue that this is simply Dream being his usual paranoid self who plans for any and all outcomes but that doesn’t quite track.

For one, it’s yet another inconsistency to add to the ever expanding list of the disc finale. The persona Dream displayed there is arrogant and fears defeat so little he not only monologues his entire plan to his enemies, but actively brings them to his lair in order to show it off. That kind of caution is simply not evident in his actions there.

But more importantly, it can’t be Dream’s escape plan in an event he didn’t plan to get locked up because if it was, why didn’t he use it already?

He had plenty of opportunities to. Enderwalking Ranboo visited him a few times during the first couple weeks of his imprisonment. All Dream would have had to do was simply ask him to leave an anonymous, unsigned book in Techno’s home calling in the favor and listing the relevant coordinates.

Even after Ranboo was banned from the prison, Dream still managed to get a message out to him. The only one he would be able to considering the restrictions, something they both knew. That would definitely seem to be the time to pull off that escape plan.

Yet he didn’t for some reason. And it’s not like Ranboo stopped working with Dream either. Only a week and a half later he blew up the TNT that led to Tommy getting locked up in Dream’s cell.

So if all this time Dream had an escape plan, had opportunities to take it and yet still didn’t?

We can only conclude he wanted to be there in the first place.

[tokiro07]

I recently saw someone complaining about how introspective the cast of Undead Unluck is, and how every character has perfect clarity for articulating exactly why they feel the way they do and are able to communicate with each other to move past those issues in single conversations

And 1) what the hell are you talking about? If that was the case, Juiz wouldn’t have had to go through 100 loops only to be betrayed by Victor literally right at the end, Billy would have understood Juiz’s cautious approach and wouldn’t have stolen the Round Table, Rip wouldn’t have challenged Andy for the right to loop, basically NOTHING would have needed to happen at all

2) so??? Christ, I can’t even remember how many stories I’ve seen where everything could have been resolved with a simple conversation! Not even one that would require “perfect articulation,” just literally any communication at all, a simple “oh sorry, this happened” or “just tell me why.” ANYTHING to get the plot moving forward, and instead they just meander around, making no progress because to do so would cut out the bulk of the events of the story

Undead Unluck is so refreshing to me because the characters are so frequently given the opportunity to just talk! Entire chapters are spent with characters just talking about themselves and each other, what they care about, what they want out of their lives! This week’s chapter was all talk, no action, but I’m so endeared to the cast that I don’t care about that! Getting to see Fuuko and Juiz RELATE to each other and feel relieved enough to cry, that’s CHARACTER, baby!!!

The fact that Tozuka feels secure enough to slow the pace down a bit at this point in the story and let the characters communicate for like four chapters in a row tells me that Tozuka doesn’t want to skimp on the characterization. People complained about Billy’s sudden betrayal and how we would have liked to see a few clips from the three month training session at least, but now that we’re getting insight, you’re BORED???

Yeah, MAYBE the pacing COULD be better, but it always COULD be! In every story! In every medium! Something is always going to get lost along the way, something’s going to get cut for time, and in Weekly Jump where you can get cancelled just because the audience wasn’t grabbed for a week or two? Tozuka doesn’t have the luxury of telling the story in its perfect form, he has to keep pace with the interests of the audience or else, and he has done that so much better than so many other tragically failed Jump authors, so now he’s earned the right to let his characters breathe a little

If you thought Juiz was boring before, try rereading now that we actually know something about her. If you thought Billy was boring or rushed, reread. And if you don’t want to reread? Then just accept that maybe it’s not the story that’s there, maybe it’s that you just weren’t absorbing it

I didn’t like Jujutsu Kaisen or Demon Slayer before rereading. I forgot every character and event and was confused every week. Then I reread them with what little I had absorbed and suddenly they both clicked

I hated Dragon Ball for years because I could only remember it as a vapid excuse for pointlessly escalating battles, but when I reread it I absolutely fell in love with it and understood why it’s one of the most beloved series of all time!

I hold no love in my heart for Black Clover and have long since forgotten the passion I had for Naruto and Bleach, but I also only read those once each. I desperately want the time and energy to reread those, to reexperience them and recontextualize them with the knowledge I’ve gained on each since. I’ve talked to plenty of people who adore all three, and I can tell that there’s something there that I’m just not in a position to see for myself anymore

I digress

“They talk too much for me” is a valid criticism, because the balance between dialogue and action is an important part of an ACTION manga, but “they talk too perfectly” is absolutely ridiculous because if you want them to stop talking and get to the action, then you WANT them to get through their talking points!

If they don’t articulate enough, then there was no point in them talking at all because they wouldn’t say anything of value, but if they articulate too much, then everyone will find peace through conversation and there won’t be any action at all

The fact that the dialogue/action balance is as good as it is proves to me that they’re exactly as articulate and introspective as they need to be to move the story along without skipping over the exciting parts

[jojotichakorn]

After everything that happened with the parents last week, the words Pat and Pran managed to say and the feelings they managed to express, I cannot believe they would back out on us like that and go "but we'll submit to your wishes still after all". Forget about it being "realistic" or understandable or whatever, it's a betrayal from a narrative standpoint, for the journey the characters went through. Plus it means that the parents are even worse than we thought??? To pretend like nothing was said.

And I agree with you, even if they're lying, it still gives victory to the parents. The message is still "appease your family since you can't be free of them". Which yeah thanks a lot of us went through this, we know!! But that wasn't where this was going. This whole ep is just cruel, knowing where it's heading, I don't understand the point.

Plus this is just so unnecessary? Confronting their parents again and deciding how they would go on from there was more than enough drama and emotional high for the final episode, whether the parents came around or not. Even if it strained their relationship, even if they did have a "is it even worth it" moment. Break up - time skip - make up means it will all be rushed and unsatisfying and DAMN yeah I'm mad.

Sorry I've been enjoying your bad buddy content and I wish my first ask was something more positive but they really let us down here...

to me, this conclusion about the parents recontextualizes the whole series. because we always knew that the parents thing would come to a boil eventually - it was the central point of the whole plot, and it seemed like we were coming to some sort of a compromise there, like we'd have issues with the parents, but eventually, they would come around. but instead, they pulled the blanket onto the parents completely, with a conclusion so painfully familiar to every abused child. going no-contact with your parents is generally frowned upon anywhere, but i come from a culture where respecting your elders and valuing family are things you must do regardless of what your elders and your family think or say or do, and this is exactly the conclusion that we came to. they are family, therefore you should stick to them, do exactly what they tell you to do, and that's final. which i have heard many times myself, it's just devastating to hear it from something that was supposed to be comforting, but instead became piece of media #387542 that perpetuates the generational abuse cycle.