#and you treated her as your object of desire because of what she represented...

[gideonisms]

tamsyn muir really understood something about the queer experience when she said that if a baby lesbian heard about a girl who could end the world she would definitely try to go meet her and let her loose

[calypsolemon]

okay let’s try and analyze anthy’s reactions during duels and why she sometimes is just completely still and other times she’s like “utena watch out!!” and other times she’s full on interfering. also how her relationship with utena and vice versa changes during the whole season

Lune you had no clue how much you were asking for when you sent this partway thru our watchthru lmaooo

I think the easiest question to answer here is "why she is completely still sometimes" and well it's that... most of the time she doesn't need to do anything. Anthy has been acting as the rose bride for what is clearly a looong time, and her "job" (her real job, as commanded by Akio, not what she presents to the duelists) essentially amounts to subtly manipulating people into projecting their desires onto her, so they will fight to own her. Usually, by the time they are at the arena clashing swords, Anthy has already done everything she needs to - the pawns are in place so to speak, she only needs to watch them play out their parts.

Beyond that, Anthy is generally emotionally disconnected from what goes on in the duels, despite the fact that they influence who she is going to have to live with. Though some duelists may, on a surface-level, treat Anthy better than others, and that might lead her to attempt to subtly push duels in her favor when she can, she ultimately sees her abuse at the hands of duelists as an inevitability, just another Thursday in the life of the Rose Bride. Therefore, apathy is the default Anthy emotion for any given duel.

So lets talk about the times when she is Very Much Not Apathetic

From the very first duel, she actually does express shock at Utena winning the duel with just a wooden sword. I will be honest, I dont actually put much weight onto this moment. I think its just sort of a natural reaction to someone so uninvested in either Anthy or the power she represents, winning the duel in such a dramatic way. I'm not even sure at this point she's clued in to Utena embodying Dios.

More notably, we have Miki's duel, which is the first true sign of mid-duel intervention by Anthy. By this point Utena has had an actual moment of "Dios coming down from the castle to possess her," which... depending on your reading means either Anthy, Akio, or both see some sort of potential in Utena. So she blatantly throws the duel for Miki by directly contrasting the idea of protecting her she's purposefully built up till this point.

The most notable reaction from the first arc, though, would be in the second duel against Touga.

This is after we get one of the only direct confirmations in this arc that Anthy is actually beginning to care for Utena; the scene where she is sitting alone, imagining Utena across from her at the table. In this moment, when Utena is fighting for her princely ideals despite the risk of actual death, Anthy is (for lack of a better term) triggered into recalling when Dios was gravely injured and still attempting to act as prince. And whether it is through the protective instincts of those memories, or just straight up being pulled out of concentration of what she's doing, it causes her to accidentally throw the duel for Touga, by rescinding her power from his sword.

So, we basically have two precedents set for Anthy reacting during duels: She sometimes consciously interferes as a strategic move, and she sometimes has a genuine emotional reaction, usually in relation to her memories of Dios being triggered and/or potential care for Utena. I don't actually think these two things are mutually exclusive, however, and they become muddled as we move into the Black Rose Arc.

Anthy definitely begins to be a lot more lively during these duels, from interacting with the objects on the tables, to giving Utena's sword the blessing, to yelling for her as she catches her mid-air. Is this because she genuinely cares for or is concerned about Utena? Is projecting Dios onto her? Or is it just because Utena winning is what is necessary for the duels to function? Maybe some combo of all? Who knows

The most notable Black Rose Duel reaction, to me personally, is when Anthy downright demands Utena pull the sword from her against Wakaba. Its very uncharacteristic of her, and I believe its because, despite the Black Rose Duels being something she has a hand in, she may genuinely be concerned for her own life here, as she has built up Wakaba to be actually, murderously jealous of her personally, and Utena is actively refusing to fight.

As we move into the final arcs of the show, we get one of the most blatant Anthy duel disruptions to date:

The sword of Dios disappears mid-battle, and instead of remembering Dios in the face of fighting against impossible odds, it is now Utena's words of friendship that spur her to jump in front of her, and draw her own sword from her chest. I really think this is one of the most significant mid-duel actions Anthy takes besides the final duel. It shows that Anthy's emotions are no longer being spurred on by simple relation back to Dios, but rather by the genuine care that Utena is showing her. Even if their relationship is about to be mired in turmoil thanks to Akio's interference, it was starting to become something real, and it was also starting to break down Anthy's carefully built walls.

I'm getting eepy and also this is getting long, so I'm going to stop the analysis train there. I could get into the final duel but quite frankly I think thats an essay in and of itself. Anthy's reactions during duels is really a fascinating topic and you could probably go on forever talking about it (just like everything else in this show)

[bubbleonice]

People are making fun of Kylie and Timothee. People say they look like mother and son. That Kylie looks old because all her surgeries. How do they feel about how people are not taking them seriously?

As for Kylie:

7 of pentacles: can represent disappointment with sluggish outcomes. You may be worried that your efforts won't be appreciated after working so hard on something significant.

Queen of pentacles reversed: completely self-absorbed. misplaced priorities. insecurity makes it so that they are often jealous and possessive. often treat their partners more like objects to show off rather than having any serious strong affection or love for them.

The high priestess: she wants to be seen as Mystery, sensuality, desirability, unattainability, fertility, creativity, subconscious, thirst for knowledge, high power, intuition, inner voice, divine feminine. But she is a queen of coins reversed. Deep down she knows what people are saying, but she acts unaffected. Maybe she is unaffected because she is used to it.

As for Timothee:

8 of pentacles reversed: he is hearing Lack of quality, rushed job, bad reputation, lack of motivation, mediocrity, laziness, low skill, dead-end job. The Eight of Pentacles reversed, mean that your efforts to achieve perfection are working against you. means that although you are working intensely on a task, the results are not what you were hoping for. your behaviour is becoming unduly cruel or materialistic,

The Hermit: Human connection is one of the most important parts of living. And Timothee has always been a social soul. But there are times when we must take a step back from others, rather than toward them. He is thinking about retreating and he needs to. He is burnt out. He is not in a good headspace right now. The Hermit truly represents taking back your personal power and living authentically. He needs to take time alone without distractions, reflecting inwardly, and focusing less on external stimul. This has all become too much for him. Do you struggle with seeking validation from others? Work on that.

[sclfmastery]

Would you be able/willing to rank the Doctoe’s regenerations on a scale of like 1/10 each or put them in your order of like favorite to least favorite :? (4 whichever master idc)

I can't rate the Doctors from best to worst because everyone's preferences are valid (and subjective). However, I can give you my list of favorites:

Nine (Eccleston)--and I suspect Fourteen will end up tying here for first place, from what I've seen of Gatwa's other work. Nine is absolutely the best person of all 13 Doctors to date. He can be brusque and he has a dangerous temper (only for those who deserve it), but something about the fact that he's raw from the Time War and so self-loathing makes his kindness and wonder at the universe incredibly compelling. He doesn't take bullshit, whereas all the other Doctors tend to PRODUCE bullshit. He's also in some indescribable way more wholesome, more grounded, more fatherly, than all the other Doctors. DON'T. SKIP. NINE!

Thirteen (Whittaker)--occupied First Place as of Series Eleven, but certain writing choices in Series Twelve and Flux have bumped her down one. I adore her for her cuteness, silliness, vivacity, disastrous goofiness and genius, but her almost vicious desire to embody forced hope, her emotional aloofness, and a certain strikingly cruel streak have made it hard for me to accept some of her actions. In a way, she's still number one anyway....but oof, as a Thoschei shipper, she makes me sad. I still celebrate her existence, and she was the first Doctor I ever found myself able to write.  The triumphs she represents for women cannot be overstated, even though we still have a long way to go. 

Ten (Tennant)--before Thirteen and Nine, Tennant was my favorite Doctor, simply because he was exuberant but also malicious, an interesting combination, and so sad and so reeling from so many losses. He is also the Doctor who, on record, treated the Master best, and I won't pretend that's not a deciding factor for me. He reached out and said, "actually, let's talk about this," and the Master came SO CLOSE to listening that he ended up saving the Doctor's life by (ostensibly, at the time, as far as he knew) sacrificing his own. My Thoschei ship was born with TenSimm so as horrible as Ten can be (looking at how he treated Jack Harkness and Martha Jones here), I can never bump him down below third place.

Twelve (Capaldi) and Fugitive/Ruth (Martin)--despite my myriad of qualms with Moffat's era, Twelve, despite being grumpy and misanthropic, was also rarely cruel. In the most misguided yikes way, he also reached out to the Master, and, even more, Missy. He tried so hard but the Vault was not a real form of bonding and rehabilitation. It was "hey best friend, let me take advantage of your dire circumstances to 'help' (emotionally manipulate, but unintentionally) you become good like I try to be (but , without effort, am not--and it's nice that Twelve, like Nine, is aware of this). If you become exactly like me I won't be alone in the universe anymore, and we can stop trying to kill each other." The Vault is the misguided extension of Ten's effort to "keep" Simm in Sound of Drums. For a long time I genuinely hated Twelve for this, because of how "benevolently" controlling he was, and how much Missy suffered trying to please him and pretending to be unable to escape the Vault in doing so. But the more Thirteen has done even objectively crueler things, to the Master and others, the more I realize Twelve isn't a terrible person. He's just tired, scared, and lonely. As for the Ruth Clayton Doctor, she was sort of under utilized so it's hard to get a read, and I understand she mostly exists as a foil to Thirteen both in Series 12 and in Flux, but media analysts have commented that her cold and brusque demeanor veers a little too close to the racist trope of "angry black woman." I tend to agree, although I genuinely believe if she gets a series of her own (thanks, Big Finish!) she will be able to show a greater range of characterization so we can truly know her as more than a shocking plot twist about the Doctor's much much longer past.

Eight (McGann)--I only watched the movie, but he's such a Byronic mopey angsty sweetheart. Cannot resist those puppy eyes.

Four (T. Baker)--wacky esoteric professor vibes. Do recommend. Kind of scary but I like the Doctor to give off slightly cryptid vibes.

Six and Two (C. Baker and Troughton)--Admittedly I have seen almost none of their episodes, but I love the clips that I've seen.

Three (Pertwee) and Five ( Davison)--I had such high hopes for Five until he treated the Master worse than a series villain would in the one multi Doctor Classic special (where the Master was genuinely trying to HELP lol; Three did the same thing, which I found even more jarring), and also let him be burned alive when he could have easily done something to intervene. It just seems so unaccountably sinister lmao.  Three I think generally treats the Master quite well and is a fun character; I’m a huge fan of Jon Pertwee’s son Sean and his work on Brother Cadfael, lol as well as Gotham.  But ultimately Three is a bit overbearing, arrogant and opinionated, in a way that isn’t endearing (at least to me) and I think he really patronizes his female companions (yes, including Jo Grant). Might just be a sign of the times, although I loved his era if only because it had so much of Delgado’s Master.  And I mean Bessie. How can you not love the era of Bessie lol. 

One (Hartnell, Bradley)--I am completely turned off by One, which I know is fandom sacrilege, but again this is a personal favorites list, not an evaluation of each character's worth. But like the original team discussed (as seen in An Adventure in Space and Time), Hartnell played it a little too rough and severe at first, and the character behaves like some sort of dignified old aristocrat while going around killing people with rocks and smiling about it. I think it's an invaluable glimpse into how the Doctor was before they were around, and softened by, humans, but it still turns me off to the character.

Eleven (Smith)--this is nothing against Matt Smith, who is a superb actor, but Eleven is so cold, so cruel, and so determined that because he's the quirky white male twink genius, any conduct whatsoever is justified. It's as if Moffat exported his (equally lamentable) characterization of Sherlock Holmes over to his first run of a Doctor. It was during Smith's run that I stopped watching DW altogether, and only came back about halfway through Capaldi's.

And if you don't see War!Doctor on this list, that's intentional. :)))) And I won't even open THAT can of worms :))))))).

[the-ghost-king]

About the cupid scene, Nico was forced to come out, but its also made very clear that Cupid is the bad guy. So is Aphrodite to an extent. They have a twisted and fundamental misunderstanding of love and how it works for mortals. I get that people could be mad about how Nico was forced to come out and putting him through more emotional trauma, but I also think its very realistic in showing how callous and cruel the gods understanding of love is.

I am reminded of the quote by Madeline Miller, "There is no law that gods must be fair..."

I also understand why the scene might be traumatic for other young LGBTQ+ readers, I've seen a lot of people talk about the fear of being outed in regards to them reading that scene as a kid. I completely respect their feelings on that, and I understand that as well. However, as someone who had been forcibly outed once before reading that scene, that scene really helped heal me. I don't think the Cupid scene is inherently homophobic, and I'm often bothered by the lack of nuance regarding around how it's handled.

I recognize it's a very emotional scene, and that people may have a hard time fully separating their emotions from that scene, but at the same time if there's a group of people saying "hey I understand why you disliked this scene but it was really helpful to me as a child because of the different experiences I had" maybe slow the breaks and hear what others also in the community have to say before determining if the scene is homophobic. You don't have to like the scene, and yeah maybe the scene did hurt you but that doesn't make it homophobic.

I want to specify on my word choice there a little closer, because of course outing someone is an act of homophobia, and the scene is homophobic in that sense. However often times the conversation about homophobia in this scene goes to "Rick was homophobic for writing this" where personally I would say this scene toes the line at being too far without ever crossing it. Some people may think this depiction crosses the line into "Rick was homophobic for writing this" which is fine, but just because something depicted homophobia and hurt you doesn't mean it was homophobic. Something doesn't have to out rightly be stated to be bad, in order to be read as bad*, and the Cupid scene does a wonderful job of depicting this.

I talk here about how Nico is shown what love is, and how love is treated by Nico, and how it affects his character. I think it's important to note that Nico's entire storyline can essentially be encompassed in an Orpheus-like or Odyssey-like tale. Nico's undergone this huge emotional and physical labor all in the name of having some form of unconditional love. I think that post is a really important read in the context of this one because I very carefully outline how love shapes Nico and how Nico shape and chooses his own definition of love, but I want to specifically dig into the Cupid scene on this post.

The big criticism often seen is "it's homophobic" which I covered above, and I want to clarify I'm not upset with or mad at or trying to tell anyone they can't dislike it or even say you can't say it's homophobic (my words on my one post are a bit off I'll admit) but the problem I have is when people believe they hold a moral high ground for thinking it's homophobic, or they remove all nuance from the discussion with "it's homophobic". Which is frustrating and annoying because it's a very complex scene, and it really changes Nico's arc and personality and it does help characterize him.

The big reason it shapes him so much is because of the other largest reason the scene is criticized, Cupid's behavior. What often fails to be recognized in those scenes is that Cupid is intentionally painted as the villain, this is very important to the scene.

In the context of this scene Nico makes an unspoken choice, a choice of "what is love to me?". I talk about how Nico claims his narrative in BoTL when he overcomes Minos, and he partially peaks that arc by convincing Gods to join the final battle of TLO. Following that arc however, Nico falls into his second arc, his crush on Percy was important in PJO, but not as important as it is in HoO.

By HoO Nico's entire character revolves around Percy, how to help Percy, how to aid Percy, etc. All of this has to do with Nico's crush on Percy, but also as an act of repayment because Nico hurt Percy- Nico lied to him about knowing him at New Rome in SoN, and he goes to Tartarus shortly after... This mirrors what Percy did after Hades tricked Nico... Percy choked Nico because he was upset with him, so Nico tried to win back Percy's affection by bathing him in the river.

The Cupid Scene is the resolution of Nico's arc, he is essentially given a choice- Cupid or Jason?

For this reason, we do see Nico recognize love for what it has been vs how it could be.

Cupid is there to represent what love is, to Nico love is brutal, and painful, and a lot of hard work... Nico has made himself utilitarian in love simply because it is the only way he can find any affection. Love to Nico is about flaying yourself for the benefit of others, to trample any and all parts of yourself simply to appease those you care for, because you want them to love you so much as you love them. The parallels I could draw between Nico and Orpheus, or Nico and Odysseus... I'd be here a long while...

In that scene Jason represents the alternative form of love which Nico chooses after his interaction with Cupid.

Jason says during the scene that he "preferred Piper's idea of love" which has to do with kindness and caring, etc, and then Jason becomes the embodiment of that idea during the scene- which showcases the alternative of what love can be, thus making Jason a personification of love in the context of that scene.

Jason looks to Nico, he doesn't ask for more, he simply looks to Nico with understanding and acknowledges him for who he is, and he does the exact opposite of what Nico expects:

Jason loves Nico where he is, without conditions, without forcing Nico to become something more. Jason didn’t force Nico to say more than what was necessary for him to understand, Jason looked at Nico and he called Nico brave.

Cupid is a more volatile form of love than Aphrodite, Cupid shoots arrows that makes people animals, that can make a god grow insane, but Aphrodite's form of love is about acceptance and humanity (think to how she picked Ares over Hephaestus even if it was perhaps "wrong")- both are about truth but one is about force and the other about acceptance.

When Nico walks out of there, he makes his choice- he is forced to come out yes, Cupid is wrong for doing this, but Jason again stays a figure of love in Nico's life. Jason basically says, "Good job, I know that was hard, thank you for sharing and let me know if you need anything, people will care about you and understand you," again and again and again to Nico, he doesn't tell Nico he has to come out, and he agrees to keep it between them for now. Jason is love as acceptance, Jason is the first person who unconditionally loves Nico, and that's the choice.

Will Nico accept unconditional love? If the answer is no, then Cupid wins and Nico is denying himself. If the answer is yes, then Jason and Nico win, and Nico no longer needs to make himself utilitarian in love in order to be loved.

The choice is made with Reyna and Hedge, most specifically Reyna.

When he accidentally comes out to them, and they accept him without making a big deal of it, without show, just that acknowledgement and "thank you for sharing" and Nico accepts their words and friendship still- Nico made his choice then to accept the love he was being freely given.

“He carried so much sadness and loneliness, so much heartache. Yet he put his mission first. He persevered. Reyna respected that. She understood that. She'd never been a touchy-feely person, but she had the strangest desire to drape her cloak over Nico's shoulders and tuck him in. She mentally chided herself. He was a comrade, not her little brother. He wouldn't appreciate the gesture.”

This is where we see the slow and steady, and healthy, end to Nico's arc in regards to love really grow into itself, and he begins to heal. He no longer sees such an intense need to make himself utilitarian for love, and he begins to heal from his internalized homophobia too.

(Internalized homophobia discussions with Nico also bother me too often times, people too often assume you can't date while struggling with internalized homophobia or at least very heavy handedly imply that which is just not true... You may have some issues in your relationship, but you can work through the internalized homophobia while building a new relationship and be just fine. Also to assume someone has an unhealthy relationship because of internalized homophobia is weird and lowkey reinforces the idea that "broken" people don't need love, but also does a huge disservice to so many LGBTQ+ people who are happily married/themselves but still struggle with these feelings, and to see a healthy relationship depiction despite someone in that relationship struggling with internalized homophobia is fine and good actually. As long as the individual can recognize what they're dealing with, and work through it in a healthy and constructive manner, then there's nothing wrong there...)

When I started this post to be honest I thought I would have a lot more to say, it's a scene that touched and changed me so deeply as a person, and beyond that in a more objective experience it completely changes Nico's character, by turning his arc around and beginning his healing process. To be honest, there probably is more to be said on it, I just haven't found the words yet... I know parts of this post are clunky and in a year I'm going to read this and see all the places it could be better but for now I'm content with it.

Whether or not someone considers the scene homophobic is a subjective experience, but I think this is a very well written scene purely for the characterization and symbolism, intentional or otherwise. I don't really care that much to debate if it's truly a homophobic scene or not, I can see both why people say it is and why people say it isn't and that can be culminated into "people have different needs" and "minorities aren't a monolith". Personally my much larger complaint is the complete lack of nuance and insight scenes like this are handled with, not the matter of personal opinion an individual reaches on the scene.

*the post uses the word "adult audience" and yes, fair point, children should not be able to decipher symbolism to the extent adults can. But older children and young teens, which the RRverse series are sold for, is when critical thinking skills and media analysis do begin to become parts of classroom curriculum. The scene does an excellent job of not outright stating Cupid is evil, but of depicting that in a very clear cut way.

[ambelle]

Your response to my ask (and your podcast which I loved BTW) reminded me of something. I don’t know how I forgot in my analysis of DK - their daughter showing up in the penultimate episode of Titans S3 … Mar’i manifesting (in addition to how Dick was shown to treat his other relationships (Babs and Dawn) throughout the series) speaks volumes to what Dick wants and feels about Kory. More so than the use of the term “family” in S3. The family with Dawn in the Trigon trial in S1., on the surface seemed ideal, but was purposefully overshadowed with Dawn’s true feelings for Hank and Dick’s underlying feelings for Kory (that he still hasn’t dealt with). In Dick’s purgatory he not only came to terms with his guilt for failing his Father (John Grayson) which allowed him to forgive himself for who he had become as Robin, and prevented him from becoming Nightwing. It also highlighted Dick’s desire to be a Father, not just a father-figure. Dick is (at heart) a family man, and he wants to have that family literally and figuratively with Kory. Family is the reason he got tangled up with Rachel in the first place. It’s also why he didn’t object to Kory and Gar joining the party. He took on Jason (Bruce’s stray); Rose (Deathstroke’s daughter), Conner and now Tim. In the interview with Anna and Rotten Tomatoes Brenton called it a directive. To reiterate your point, how people are claiming that DK have had no build up or Mar’i isn’t significant, earned or plausible is just devoid of storytelling comprehension. Holy Context Clues Batman!

Yes! And I swear I wouldn’t be so rude about this point if I didn't find the blatant dismissal of Mar'i so offensive. This is the first live action Mar’i. A character the comics erased from existence and never mentioned again because they are busy dragging her parents romantic history through the mud in order to prop up Batman/Batfam. Just because she didn't immediately lead to him professing his love to Kory doesn't mean she doesn't matter. 

As it turns out Mar'i is a person not a plot device and in terms of race, which I'm only bringing up because the fandom insists on bringing it up, claiming a little black girl is useless if she doesnt help move a particular plot forward is what sounds racist to me. She saved her dad from his own downward spiral and she represents his future with Kory but she is also an innocent child who deserves love and respect. I frankly don't think Dick was ready to be a father until the very moment he finally let go of his past. Kory couldn’t be a mom while still not knowing herself and being torn between two worlds. Now makes sense to show Dick what he can have if he allows himself to have it.

And I agree family and fatherhood has been a constant theme in Dick's character journey. First time we met him he was beating up a man for abusing his daughter and when the cops ask him to speak with Rachel they say he's good with kids. It's a thread that's been there since the pilot.

I think sometimes people only measure romance by how many sex/kissing scenes there are and you will never be able to convince them building trust and friendship is an important part of a relationship too. So I'm no longer going to try. I'll enjoy s4 Dickkory all by myself LOL

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 4

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

part 3: “Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

* 

“But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self

Before I get into seasons six and seven, it’s worth asking: why would the show do all of this? Why would it spend all of this time developing a supporting villain and joke id character? Why would it give him a romantic arc? I see people say that the writers only gave Spike these storylines because he was popular or they wanted to keep him around, but even that being the case, there was no need to give him the specific arc that they did. It’s more than possible to read meaning into the story that they chose from the array of possible options. 

Here is the thing about the id. It’s not actually something separate from you. It’s not a ravenous monster you can blame your weaknesses on while remaining pure and dignified. The id is part of you. The immediate and enduring appeal of Spike is, I suspect, strongly influenced by the fact that the things the id wants are so very human and sympathetic. His foibles and mistakes are often painfully familiar, even exaggerated through vampirism as they are. In fact, it’s precisely because Spike is allowed to show a full range of reactions to love, because the writing is under less pressure for him to do the “right” or dignified thing, that he can at times be compelling in ways other characters can’t. If Spike just did nasty things, his appeal wouldn’t be much more complicated than the appeal of Angelus, who people tend to like as a villain or storyline rather than as a relatable character. But Spike doesn’t want to dismember nuns or construct elaborate murder tableaux. He wants familiar things like love, identity and meaning, even if the ways he goes about getting them can reflect people’s worst impulses. 

Which brings us to Buffy, and Buffy’s story about growing up. Buffy is Buffy’s show, which means that every writing choice tends to revolve around her arc in one way or another. And this goes for Spike’s storyline even more than most. In the final three seasons of the show, the writing finally engages with how inextricable the id--and all of its impulsive, inarticulate romantic desires--really is from a person’s self. So instead of keeping Spike at a comfortable distance, both Buffy and the writing begin to take him seriously. They begin to invite him in.

Starting in season five, it’s telling how frequently Buffy herself projects on Spike, rather than just the writing setting them up as mirrors. She tells him that he’s the “only one strong enough” to protect her family, and later assigns Dawn specifically to his protection. In “Spiral” she describes him as “the only one besides me that has any chance of protecting Dawn.” This is a very intimate role that she otherwise only assigns to herself (and which is not really based on pure practicality, considering that she’ll later describe Willow as her “big gun”--yet never gives Willow the task of protecting Dawn). She tells him that he cannot love, which is the thing she fears most about herself. Her protests that Spike is a vampire, and thus cannot express or want human things like love, mirror her lamentations that as the Slayer, she cannot have a normal life.

From the Gilliland Gothic double essay:

More than any of her other lovers, Buffy and Spike overlap one another so often that at times their character arcs become nearly indistinguishable. With Angel, Buffy traveled a parallel path in attempting to master self-control. With Riley, her journey ultimately took her in the opposite direction. With Spike, Buffy’s journey is most closely shadowed, in that her interactions with him in many ways can be seen as metaphors for her feelings about herself.

So now Spike is multiple things. On the one hand, he’s the soulless id he’s been since season two. His vampiric behavior represents a morally uninhibited way of reacting to romantic frustrations, among other things. But on the other hand, his vampirism now also marks him as like Buffy, not merely her opposite.* Nor is he only her mirror in the realm of romantic love. The part of him that is a vampire is the part of him that is supernatural (ie, Romantically larger-than-life), that sets him apart from regular people, and dictates how he can and cannot behave. Just like Buffy’s slayerness. His vampirism is what makes him capable of protecting Dawn, while also making him (supposedly, according to Buffy) incapable of human feeling--again, just like Buffy’s slayerness. Instead of Buffy’s Slayer side being aligned with Angelus, who was an unmitigated evil, it becomes aligned with Spike, who is something more complicated. 

*(Though it must be noted that this was a process that began in season four, with the show aligning Spike with the Scoobies by making him a victim of the Initiative. Spike being supernatural suddenly marks him as non-normative, just like the Scoobies, in contrast to the institutional conformity that the Initiative represents. The evolution towards treating the Romantic supernatural as something positive and associated with identity plays a key role in transitioning the show to the more complicated attitudes of the last three seasons.)

This shift in the show’s attitudes towards the id affects how Spike is used. In “Blood Ties” for example, Spike assists Dawn in breaking into the Magic Shop and in “Forever” he helps Dawn resurrect her and Buffy’s mother. In both cases, Spike could be read as embodying impulsive behavior that Buffy is supposed to be better than. Yet both cases specifically involve Spike helping Dawn, who is repeatedly portrayed as Buffy’s human side. As Buffy says in “The Gift”: “[Dawn]’s more than [my sister]. She’s me. The monks made her out of me. [...] Dawn is a part of me. The only part that I--”. In other words, Buffy’s id becomes closely tied to her humanity, even going so far as to become its safeguard. “Blood Ties” ends with Buffy affirming her connection to Dawn, which Spike’s rule-breaking directly enabled, and “Forever” ends with Buffy acknowledging how desperately she wants her mother back too, and becoming closer to Dawn as a result. (Compare to “Lovers Walk”, where Buffy acknowledging her id results in her breaking away from Angel, not drawing closer to anyone). Or in “Intervention”, Spike building the Buffybot directly parallels Buffy’s own anxieties about what she thinks she should be. She thinks she’s losing her ability to love, and that effusive fakery is her only recourse (as she said in “I Was Made to Love You”: “Maybe I could change. [...] I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes. I mean men like that right? The joke laughing at?”), a fear that even has some merit, given that her friends cannot tell her and the bot apart. Instead of Buffy and Spike having separate arcs in the episode, Spike learning the difference between real and fake dovetails with Buffy’s own relationship to her realness and fakeness. It turns out that neither of them want a bot version of Buffy. They want real emotion, things like sacrifice and heartfelt gratitude. If even Buffy’s id would let itself be killed for Dawn, then maybe she has nothing to fear from herself. Maybe there is some beauty in the emotional part of her nature that she thinks she must repress.

In other words, part of the writing (and Buffy) fully engaging with romanticism and the id, means engaging with the ways they can be bad and good. There’s this weird thing that happens with Spike as soon as he falls in love with Buffy, where suddenly his actions are more uncomfortable, and to many, off-putting, because their object is Buffy (instead of another vampire like Harmony or Drusilla, who either enjoy the same vampiric things he does, or the audience might be inclined to see as a moral nonentity regardless). His comic id quality becomes somewhat darker and more serious, almost like the way Angel’s early season two darkness becomes more serious after he loses his soul. But at the same time, Spike’s actions are also more intriguing, sympathetic, and even noble...because their object is Buffy. It makes no sense that a soulless vampire should not only fall in love with the Slayer, but genuinely attempt to transform himself into someone worthy of her love. And yet that’s exactly what Buffy inspires him to do. By loving Buffy Spike’s dual nature, and the dual nature of his romanticism, is thrown into relief: it’s something that can be selfish and creepy, yes, but also something that hints at the idea that real romanticism does exist. Something worth feeling romantically about does exist. Thus the writing can at once criticize, say, the way the chivalric mindset conflates love and suffering, while also suggesting that there are kinds of love it’s worth being transformed by. (Meanwhile, Spike’s fumbling bewilderment over how to love Buffy, and what the rules of loving people correctly even are, creates a human middle ground between monstrousness and heroism). By leaning into the way that Buffy and Spike have been used as mirrors for three seasons, and introducing the mythology-bending idea of Spike being in love with Buffy, the writing is able to fully engage with this complicated, contradictory nature of love and romance.

All of which is to say. Spike becomes a potential love interest, and is given a convoluted inner conflict between monstrousness, humanity and heroism, in precisely the season in which Buffy begins to reckon with her own inner conflict between her darker impulses, her human reality, and her supernatural role. It’s no coincidence that season five opens with Dracula, an icon of romantic vampire mythology, tempting Buffy with darkness and promising her insight into her nature. Or that a vampire kidnaps Dawn--again, her human half--in the next episode. Or that the season’s antagonist is a super-strong blonde woman who wants to destroy Dawn instead of protect her. Or that she says goodbye to Riley, the boyfriend who embodied her hopes for a more normative way of being (notice how Riley is progressively destabilized by everything non-normative about Buffy’s life, and provokes those anxieties Buffy expresses in “I Was Made to Love You”). Over and over in season five, Buffy fears that her Slayer half is cold, destructive, and otherwise dangerous. That these Romantic things like gods and vampires have it in for Buffy’s vulnerable humanity. Yet Buffy’s vampire id simultaneously gives lie to these fears by proving itself capable of heroism and genuine human feeling.

In other words, Spike becomes a potential love interest in a season that treats the Romantic--ie the grand and mythical--as something more than just an attractive lie to be disabused of. Rather, the question that season five seems to posit to me, and which will not be fully answered until the end of season seven, is this: once you do clear away the attractive lies, once you accept the hard realities, once you’ve seen the darkest underbellies, what are the things that are left that are truly grand and beautiful? What are the stories that are really worth telling, and the heroes that are really worth having?

And the show asks and answers these questions on both a very personal level, and a more meta, systemic level. On the personal level, Buffy and Spike are forced to confront their illusions not just about the world, but about themselves. They are made to ask themselves what constitutes a heroic role or a demonic weakness, versus basic, unromantic humanity. And on the meta level, the show asks questions about our expectations for how both love stories and chosen hero stories are supposed to go.

part 5: “Everything used to be so clear”: Season six and the agony of the real

[kalena-henden]

The way Na Ji Na is most like Tak Dong Kyung is that they both had a traumatic event they did not deal with which made them shut down a part of themselves for decade(s) in order not to face their pain. In Ji Na’s case, she never worked through why she liked Hyun Kyu in the first place beside that he was handsome or why his ghosting affected her so much. Even though Joo Ik played a small role in keeping them apart, he’s also right that it wouldn’t have stopped Hyun Kyu from ghosting her again. Considering that Hyun Kyu never made an effort in 9 years to make things right or try see her until she was thrown into his path again due to mutual friends proves his point. At 18, Ji Na’s immaturity allowed her to mistake infatuation for love. When she was then lied to and ghosted by her boyfriend, she didn’t want to it to be over and desperately tried to get him to recommit to her so she could experience her romantic goals. In the years since, she’s been in a rut: failing to get over him, taking his name as her pen name, and writing romances trying to work through what went wrong with their relationship without success. At 27, Ji Na knows she is worthy of being treated better but is still curious if a second chance with her ex-boyfriend will help her move forward to achieve the happily ever after fantasy she desires.

There has been a large focus in Ji Na’s arc on the men in her life. Not just the love triangle with Hyun Kyu and Joo Ik, but also with her guy friends at the reunion, Sun Kyung, Jijo King, and even Myul Mang. She’s fiery and passionate in her opinions and actions but also very no nonsense and puts them in their place. She’s often seen yelling at them or hitting or throwing things at them. Very physical. The exception is Joo Ik; he’s the one who challenges her. While their exchanges can be blunt and even tense, he often redirects her focus to affirm her worth or take actionable steps to improve her writing skills or help a friend. Theirs is a meeting of the minds. It can be intense when they’re sparing but there is also a comfort and ease to their frequent meetings. They don’t hold back what they think but they also allow each other space to process. The affect is that they both feel at ease allowing Ji Na to be calmer and creative and Joo Ik to openly jest and smile. 

By giving her his umbrella for protection, it symbolizes that Jook Ik meant to give Ji Na the best chance to live a full life, but his actions afterwards inadvertently stole her agency which is the very thing he was trying to give her. His intention and weakness is reflected in the color of his umbrella: Teal.

Teal*: The color of Morality and Renewal. Teal is shy, objective, earnest, and controlling. Some of its more unfavorable traits include being standoffish and vigilant. On a more positive note, teal is also accepting, supportive, and rational. As a whole, teal is a well-intentioned yet reserved color.

Doesn’t this sound like Joo Ik to a T? This is why it’s so significant that he takes back the Teal umbrella and replaces it with Red one. Let’s see what Red represents. [*from color-meanings(.)com]

Red*: The color of Passion and Energy. Red draws attention like no other color and radiates a strong powerful energy that motivates us to take action. It is also linked to sexuality and stimulates deep and intimate passion. Red is ubiquitously used to warn and signal caution and danger.

By taking back the Teal umbrella and replacing it with a Red umbrella, and coming clean about keeping her apart from Hyun Kyu, Joo Ik is essentially giving Ji Na her agency back. It will rejuvenate her energy and give her the motivation needed to take action to make a full passionate life for herself. One that most likely includes romance. 

Now that Ji Na is taking charge of her life, she will start to pursue what she thinks she wants. A second chance with Hyun Kyu, being the first. However, this will cause Joo Ik to break their work contract because it’s too hard for him to actively participate in her life because he doesn’t want to watch her get hurt again by Hyun Kyu. Instead though, Ji Na will keenly feel the loss of Joo Ik’s presence and realize that Hyun Kyu’s handsome face is not enough to satisfy her. Joo Ik is in the land of denial about his personal feelings for Ji Na. His I-don’t-regret-my-actions-to-interfere-in-your-life but I-don’t-like-feeling-bad-when-i-kept-this-from-you is so darn Darcy-esque, I can’t even. Hello, Mr. Logical Broodypants. I see you. lol I think Ji Na will dump Hyun Kyu which will help him to grow into a more thoughtful person. Then Joo Ik will admit to being wrong and realize he’s fallen head over heels with Ji Na as she realizes that she’s not just attracted to Joo Ik because he’s handsome but also because of their shared passion over stories and complimentary personalities. I need happy endings all around on this show.

[laurelwinchester]

The way fandom (and then the show itself) treats Lisa and Ben is so cruel and unsettling to me - fandom which reveres Sam/Jess, even though he was never honest with her, and she's (unfortunately) much more of a symbolic placeholder. we spend time with the Braedens. Dean calls their house "home." They truly try to build something. Nothing will ever convince me there wasn't real, deep love there. the story was utterly agonizing for all of them, and Dean never even gets to acknowledge it again?

yes! 

the way the fandom treats lisa and ben (especially lisa) is so disturbing. it's so disturbing. and the lack of self awareness is honestly startling to me. i know it shouldn’t be at this point, but it is. the fandom likes to talk about the misogyny in the show, but they refuse to acknowledge that they were and are just as bad. they helped create that misogyny. they drove it. i know that their treatment of lisa is just the tip of the iceberg but it's so heinous and cruel and blatant that it's what i always get stuck on. they hate her so much. they froth at the mouth over her very existence. the things they say about her are just appalling. and for what? because she loved dean and she wasn't sam or cas? because she tried to give him something neither sam nor cas could? it's ridiculous.

lisa was not a bad character. she didn't do anything wrong. she did nothing to earn the shocking vitriol the fandom slings at her. she supported him when she could, she drew boundaries when she knew she needed to, and she loved him through all of it.

and he did love her back. it seriously irks and baffles me me that people still have the audacity to say that he didn't love her. they tried so hard to build. they wanted a life together. like you said, he called her home. they had something refreshingly honest and real if not tragically fragile.

people can deny that as much as they want but obviously it was real. obviously it was love. if it wasn't, dean would have been able to walk away, but he wasn't. that's the thing. he tried and he tried to leave them, but he couldn't. not without being forced to.

in order to remove lisa and ben from the story, the writers literally had to erase dean from their minds. we can talk about character motives all we want when it comes to that particular piece of the storyline, but it was clearly done because the writers didn't know another way to take lisa and ben out of the narrative. they were important to dean. they were in his bones. they were his family. the only way to get them out was to literally remove him from them like an amputation. 

the fact that they added in dean’s tearful ‘’if you ever mention them again, i’ll break your nose’’ line in order to justify never dealing with or even, at the very least, naming his grief is enraging and puzzling, but the absence of them was felt all throughout dean’s behavior in season seven. (which people like to say was just because of cas, even though it really very much was not.)

if lisa and ben were as meaningless as the fandom (and the writers) wanted them to be, all these ridiculous parts of the plot (the memory erasing, pointedly never talking about them again) wouldn’t have been necessary. if they were placeholders, they would have faded away slowly over time the way all the others did, but they didn’t. they were removed abruptly and traumatically because it was the only way to separate dean from them.

the reason the fandom hates lisa always comes back to those two popular ships and the fact that dean is so often seen as an object for sam or cas. almost like a pet. he can be coveted, his acts of service are welcomed, but when he tries to have something for himself, when he tries to love anything or anyone else outside of that ~team free will~ bubble, everyone flips out because in their minds he is not permitted to exist outside of the way he loves sam or cas. he gets nothing of his own.

and that was exactly what lisa represented. she was tangible evidence that dean was his own person with his own thoughts, feelings, and desires, and he was perfectly capable of building a rich, fulfilling life full of love without the other two. no wonder she scared both the fandom and the writers.

[thelovelyghostwriter]

Some of my favourite female characters in fiction

This list is not exhaustive and while I do have other characters that I find charming and that I love, I have noted these characters because in my opinion, they have struggled and/or there is a certain analysis to their personalities. 

Please take note that some of the characters are not morally good or have done questionable actions. This is not to discuss or say they are role models, but rather to write up what they represented, their role in the story or simply their personalities. I’m not here to justify the character’s actions.

Remember that a well-written characters do not have to be morally good. 

Also, a lot of them are from memory and the analysis aren’t well-structured. 

Let’s dive in:

1. Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby

Daisy, in my opinion, is incredibly misunderstood and unjustifiably hated among the readers. Her betrayal to Gatsby is indeed vile and it did upset me, I definitely think that she is materialistic, shallow and hurtful.  

“I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”

Daisy did shit on Gatsby [trying to avoid spoilers here].  

However, I do like to note that I think part of her materialism and shallowness is because of how women were in the 1920s. They did not have any freedom or agency. To Tom, she seems to be a trophy wife for him to keep; and to Gatsby, he only liked the idea of her, he wasn’t in love with her. To everyone around her, she was an item, a beautiful doll to be possessed, rather than a person. I think that’s why she turned out like that. 

She's materialistic because men around her sees her as an object. Nonetheless, Daisy is still “careless” and hurtful; and I think this stemmed from the life she had led that were a compilation of choices that were made for her. Her betrayal towards Gatsby is what makes her character rather disappointing to most readers. The whiteness in her dress as described in her first appearance? It’s not innocence, but rather a void and jadedness. 

2. Neon Nostrade from Hunter x Hunter

Yet, another girl in our list that loves to be hated by the fandom. Though honestly, most of her haters are Chrollo and Kurapika stans who gets jealous because Chrollo got to hang out with her and Kurapika works under her. Also her repulsive hobby - although this is actually what makes me like her. 

I have addressed this in my other posts before, but let me just copy and paste them (and modify a bit):  Her upbringing and exploitation by her dad makes her materialistic and emotionally detached. This materialism and detachment is manifested in the form of her hobby as a dead body parts collector. But other than that, she’s really a normal girl, just sheltered and spoilt. The money she spends are even from her talent Lovely Ghostwriter, her father will be nothing without her. So I don’t see an issue with her spending them on shopping etc. 

In fact, I would argue that she bathes in materialism to fill the emptiness that she has. Her father is more concerned with her ability and power, she has no friends and is guarded 24/7 by employees.

All the times she threw tantrums and the way she talks… it’s a different speech pattern altogether when she interacts with Chrollo - which may suggest that the whole spoilt attitude is exaggerated to gain attention from a father who is indulgent in terms of material gifts, but not in terms of affection and time for her.

When Eliza cried, she was willing to forgo bidding the auction physically. Yes she did not care about the bodyguards because she is more focused on the living and the present (Eliza) than the dead.

The reason why she didn’t seem fazed when Dalzollene and the others died is because a) they were her bodyguards, it’s their job to put their life on the line to protect her, b) she mentioned to Chrollo that her fortune-telling is for the living, she likes to live in the present and doesn’t believe in the afterlife.

Neon is more focused on who is alive, rather than the dead (which also represented by her hobby of dead body parts collecting). She focuses on the present, unlike her clients who likes to know their future or people who dwell in the past. Kurapika on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He dwells on the past and likes to focus on his dead clan rather than the present times with his friends (which is completely understandable).

Another significance is that her fortune-telling ability is very useful and helpful, she says that she wanted to make people happy with it; but however, it is commercialized and used as a means of power (knowledge of the future = power) by her father and pretty much everyone around her. Just like how she objectifies dead people by collecting their parts, the people around her sees her as a tool due to her fortune-telling abilities, rather than see her as a person. Even Kurapika chose to get employed under her, for his own agenda (he is bound to meet dead body parts collectors at some point). 

She treats people like objects because people see her as one.

Of course, collecting dead body parts is a pretty fucked hobby; but what she represents and her role as a minor character is what makes her an outstanding minor female character in the show. 

Yes. She has traits that are not your typical role model, but neither are other hxh characters. She’s not independent, naive, can’t fight, in need of saving, uncaring at times and spoilt. She is far from so-called “strong female character” that we often look up to. She is a character with bad traits which is a result of being a victim. But that’s what makes me love her as a character in hxh. It reminds us that there are girls out there who has lack of freedom and control over their own fate; and their only way out is through materialism and detaching themselves from people. 

In fact, she might be even relateable to some people more than other female characters because there is vulnerability in her character.

3. Hua Mulan (Mostly the Chinese 2009 film, though the most well-known is the Disney 1998 animated film)

There has been various adaptations for this character, with the Disney Animated version being the most prominent.

However, my favourite one is definitely the Chinese film Hua Mulan: Rise of A Warrior (2009). It portrays the horrors of war and the suffering it brings, nationalism, camaraderie among the army - all while giving us the admirable Mulan climbing up to the ranks of being a war general.

I highly recommend this adaptation. I know the Disney Live Action 2020 version did not receive good reception, and we honestly did not need one because this 2009 Chinese film does the job well (I like their soundtrack though). It's not really well-known because it's a Chinese film (which is hella ironic because Hua Mulan is a Chinese character? Lmao).

"Today we will stain the battlefield with our blood. Behind us is our homeland. If we have to bleed out our last drop of blood, if we have to become bleached bones in this desert, we must defend it to the death! We must let the Rourans know we Wei warriors will never surrender and will never compromise! Soldiers may rebel against me, generals may leave me for dead, but I, Hua Mulan, will never betray my country!"

Generally, I either have an issue with strong female characters because they are just shallow (meaning they are only physically strong, often viewing rudeness, misandry and independence as strength). I like female characters who are so much more to that.

Mulan, in this film, not only showed her badassery in fighting the war for more than a decade, but we also see how much she struggled. Everytime her comrades die, her heart gets broken. Yet she has to learn how to pick herself up and become the leader that they need. She dislikes war, she dislikes the bloodshed; yet she fights for her country.

To me, a strong female character is not just a feminist icon or someone who can fight. In fact, a female character doesn't need to be someone capable of fighting, what makes her strong is to be able to overcome turbulence with determination.

I think this is something that is lacking in recent "strong female characters" - showing us their strength through perseverance.

As for the Disney's counterpart (talking about the 1998 film here), it is less morbid but we also see her trying her best to make her family proud and protect her country. Like the song Reflection and Loyal, Brave and True, she struggles with finding her purpose and her role in her family.

"The greatest gift of honour, is having you for a daughter."

4. Blanche Dubois from A Streetcar Named Desire

It's been years since I had analysed Blanche, but among all the 6 books that I had to study for English Literature, A Streetcar Named Desire has been my absolute favourite.

I think what struck me in this book is not just the style, but Blanche's vulnerability. Her actions are definitely not morally good: she misrepresents things, she lies, she even had sex with an underage student. She's paranoid, mentally unstable and prissy. Which was why, her polar opposite character, Stanley, is so annoyed with her.

After her husband's suicide, we see Blanche relying on the company of men to fill the void of her loneliness and misery. She is also concerned about her beauty fading with age - I find that highly reliable. It sounds incredibly "vain", but beauty does play a part.

Based on Evolutionary and Mating Theories among humans, appearance in women are especially important (also for men but not as much as women). Of course, there are other factors and traits that people find attractive, but Blanche's concern is valid here. She needs to find a husband to escape from her financial troubles; and her age, beauty and chastity plays a huge factor in her search for getting a man in the setting she was in (which was Mitch in this case). Ironically, these are the very traits that she has "lost" and so desperately tries to hide it.

Her ending is truly a devastating and upsetting one. [Will not talk about it due to spoilers]

"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers."

5. Haibara Ai/Shiho Miyano from Detective Conan

Perhaps one of the girls that is a wasted potential. In a series where the characters are mostly flat, she's arguably the most multi-faceted (but somehow I had heard that she no longer has the same complexity as she used to have - it's been a while since I followed this series).

But I remember absolutely loving this character.

Her background story is really unique in the show and one that is embedded within the Black Organisation plotline (why her character was dropped... Forever frustrating for me).

From the moment she was first introduced, we see Conan taking an immediate distrust towards her. A guy who is a detective who had been catching criminals - yet one ex-syndicate member stands before him. The one that actually helped to develop the APTX4869 that changed his life.

Yet, we see that it wasn't entirely within her control. Both her parents were syndicate members and when her sister tries to get both of them to leave, her sister dies.

Ai starts off as seemingly cold, pessimistic and avoidant. But as her arc goes on, the iceberg around her melts. We see her quirky sarcastic replies, her taste for fashion and she genuinely desires to be happy. Her relationship with Conan developed into a beautiful one - to the point where Conan trusts her with anything and they would risk their lives for one another.

Yet, we also empathies with her impending jealousy and heartache. The boy she has fallen for already has someone else. What's more, the girl is genuinely kind and is a splitting image of her sister. After Ran saved her from Vermouth, she quickly warms up to Ran as well.

She's also the key to developing the antidote for Shinichi to be back with Ran - an almost painful metaphor for her to give him away (he never belonged to her in the first place). Yet, she doesn't really stop them from being together (even though in some cases she appears jealous or phrase ShinRan's reunion as a word of caution).

I definitely think she is the most compelling character in Detective Conan because of her character development and the struggles she faces. It's definitely upsetting that her character has been neglected.

“Don’t judge people from the outside. Like any rose has thorns, the more the person appears nice on the outside, the more you should doubt the inside.”

6. Misato Katsuragi from Neon Genesis Evangelion

Who is the best female character in Eva? Asuka or Rei? My answer will always be Misato, Risato is a close second (I wanted to analyse Risato, but I’m trying to keep it to one person per series). Misato is one of the 90s anime babes. She definitely captivated many people’s heart. 

I must say though, I have a soft spot towards female characters who has some sort of daddy issues (why I like Neon Nostrade). It’s been a while since I had watched Eva, but I’m going to try to remember why I like her. 

I think the concept of Hedgehog’s Dilemma has been echoed throughout the series, and all the characters seem to struggle with emotional attachment towards people. I actually like to phrase the Hedgehog Dilemma as “Avoidant-Fearful Attachment Style” - wanting connection with people, yet not being able to do so out of fear of being hurt. 

For Misato, when I initially first watched Eva, I compared her a little to Blanche Dubois in how they cope with loneliness - their sexuality. I remember being confused with her interactions with Shinji, who was half her age. At times, she serves as his guardian/mother figure; but at some moments (I think it was sometimes after Kaji’s death), she tried to seek comfort with Shinji by attempting to initiate sex (which Shinji rejects). I remember coming across a comment somewhere that Shinji and Misato’s relationship is somewhat like Humbert and Dolores (from Lolita) - can’t comment on this as I only read the first chapter of the book. 

It makes me think that she uses sex as a way to cope and the only way she can connect with people (and it’s superficial), which doesn’t work for Shinji because she needs to be her guardian (and ultimately fails to be purely his guardian once she crossed that no-no boundary). 

Another thing to note was her backstory about her dad. There seems to be a dissonance, given that she resented her dad for not spending time with her due to his work, but he ended up sacrificing her life for her. I do think it’s a bit of guilt (because resenting her dad but he saves her - these two contradicts one another). It’s clear that her issues to connect stems from her backstory regarding her father. 

It’s interesting how she compares Kaji to her father. I do think she loves Kaji, but “reminds him too much of her father” (as to put it simply). There is this... stereotype that we find someone similar to our opposite-gender parents, no matter how shitty they were towards us. I believe that it is because we tend to stick to something that is familiar to us, even if those type of people aren’t good for us (I think to break this cycle is to practise self-awareness and know what is good for us). 

Anyway, Misato is a character that I really liked (as all the characters in Eva) because they highlight Hedgehog’s Dilemma that stemmed from their parental issues. Maybe I have not watched a lot of anime, but female characters with issues with their fathers are not as explored deeply as male characters and their parental issues. A lot of times, female characters (especially in shounen) serves as a romantic interest and yes they can have really sad backstory, but not issues towards their father and how it affects their relationship with other people. So far, the only ones I had seen is Mukuro (Yu Yu Hakusho), Misato and Neon Nostrade. 

7. Disney's Cinderella

First of all, she has been a victim of abuse since she was a child. It's not easy for her to escape her predicament. Where can she go? It's not that easy.

Boy. I hate how much people remember Cinderella wrongly and attack her for being "backwards", which is actually factually wrong.

Cinderella always get flack for using the Prince to "escape" her predicament when "she can do it herself".

I say that's bullshit. I actually came across a youtube video: Cinderella Stop Blaming the Victim [please check it out for more in-depth analysis]

Despite all that, she's doesn't internalize it. She knows she doesn't deserve to be treated this way, and she does to a certain degree stand up to them (whenever the cat makes her tasks harder). She knows when to fight back and restrain herself because it might endanger her life.

After years of suffering in this domestic household, she remains kind, compassionate and hopeful. Which is not an easy feat. The problem is, these traits are often seen as feminine and synonymous with being weak. But it is actually, in fact, signs of strength. The mental fortitude she has to remain kind after all she went through is a sign of strength.

The Fairy Godmother only appeared when she was losing hope - take note that she ends up crying because her stepsisters tore her mother’s dress (which is the most disturbing scene in the film). 

Even I had remembered this wrongly - one crucial fact is that... She did not want to go the ball to nab the Prince. That was her stepsisters. Homegirl just wanted to chill. She did not even know she was dancing with the Prince!

When Lady Tremaine locked her up to prevent her from reaching the Prince, it wasn’t the Prince that saved her. She and her animal friends got her out of the room, and proceeded to prove that she was indeed the maiden that had danced with the Prince. Her marrying the Prince was only a fitting end to her because it provides her a home and an escape from an abusive household; however, it was her resilience for holding onto fate and being mentally strong, and her initiatives partially contributed to her happy end. The Prince is more like a passive character. 

I highly think that people tend to brush her traits - e.g. compassion, having fate, being kind is listed as feminine. However, it is far from being weak, which most people would deem it as. But that is definitely not true. 

“No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish can come true.”

8. Mikasa Ackerman from Attack on Titan

Mikasa is either a hit or miss among AOT fans. Some people like Mikasa because she is physically strong and her loyalty to Eren is admirable. On the other hand, some people think she’s clingy and her being physically strong makes her a Mary Sue. 

Whether or not you like Mikasa, there is a fact that she is not a Mary Sue. The definition of a Mary Sue is a female character lacking in weakness and seems perfect. 

She is physically strong, yes - I believe that Isayama wanted to distribute traits to the trio. Even Hannes has said it in S1. Armin represents intellect, Eren represents grit and Mikasa represents strength. So her being physically strong makes sense, and Isayama also provided an explanation for it (being an Ackerman). 

However, this does not mean she lacks any weakness. Arguably, her loyalty to Eren is both a liability and her strength. This “weakness” has been highlighted by her dilemma between her loyalty towards Eren and her belief that mass genocide is wrong.

[I won’t go into details about the manga parts that have not been animated as of 2021, can’t spoil it too much]. 

[youllgetawayeventualy]

We All Owe Britney Spears An Apology:

"2007 belonged to Britney Spears. The year that saw the world's most famous singer get pushed from her pedestal with a throng of thirsty paparazzi waiting below. That year, against Britney's will, her personal life became public property. We were welcomed into the life of an icon on a downwards spiral without her permission; asked to comment on it, make up our mind on whether the world's most beloved pop star was worth saving... If we were to take everything fed to us by tabloid media at the time at face value, we would be led to believe that she was a victim of her own making - brought down by her actions rather than the ones of those who stalked her every move."

"Spears has come to represent something - something important enough that it keeps rearing its head. As has been pointed out, she emobides the disdain in which this culture holds its young women; the desire to sexualize and spoil them while young, and to degrade and punish them as they get older... What happened to Spears this weekend (VMA 2007) was actually pretty hard to watch - a gross example of exactly how much malicious satisfaction we get out of the embarrassing weakness of an addictive, postpartum, out-of-control mess of a human being... She was hired by MTV to attract viewers eager to see her make an ass of herself... Sarah silverman took the stage after the performance, she sated the public's appetite for girl on girl evisceration, unfunnily identifying Spears as a 25 year old who's "already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life," calling her sons "the most adorable mistakes you ever will see,"... It was spectacularly painful, mostly because it violated one of the rules of dirty mean comedy: don't shared your talons on the weak. Imagine Spears' having come off a stage where she had been invited to humiliate herself only to hear a crowd roar in whooping, derisive appreciation for the woman narrating her breakdown... Spears, it seems, two children and five years of self abuse later, no longer pleases the public with her house glass shape... Sure, she looked better in a bikini than probably 98 percent of the Americans sitting on their couches and howling at her, but she was no longer porn star perfect"

"Pushed into show business by a striving mom, molded into a confusing vamp-virgin and told to sing songs about being hit while wearing a schoolgirl outfit... Offered no moral structure or opportunity to build a personality of her own... A victim of grotesque class expectations that chucked her back into the cheetos-and-trucker-hats ghetto as swiftly as erotic expectations plucked her from it"

"Just what this world needs is another trailer trash baby from a trailer trash mama"

"Oops, did she do it again? Reproduce that is"

"Sympathy is lacking from most conversations about Britney's body, babies, and mothering. Also missing is responsible discussion of possible mental illness, emotional distress, medication side-effects, or that Britney might have needed help."

"I noticed her hair was gone. I remember asking here, 'why do you shave your head?'" She replied "It was, you know, 'I just don't want anybody, anybody touching my head. I don't want anyone touching my hair. I'm sick of people touching my hair.'"

"Britney Spears was a symbol for her entire public life. And, even in her seclusion, we can’t stop seeing her as something more, and less, than simply a person... life, as teen-pop blank slate or isolated object of devotion, would be a lot for any person to have endured. Both in one lifetime makes Spears both a fascinating living document of how our culture treats those we purport to love, and a deeply sad case."

"She managed, for just about one second, to embody every contradictory message about female worth out there - wholesome, but sexy, but pure, but dirty, but "girl next door," but glamorous - and we venerated her for it. Then she slipped up, and we took great joy in tearing her to pieces. See? She's actually having sex now! See? Her innocence was an act! Look! The girl we encouraged to be an unthinking, largely unspeaking body didn't turn out to be a nuclear scientist! My God! Her body is capable of gaining weight! SHAME, SHAME. At a certain point, Britney Spears lost her worth, in the public eye. When she had children, gained weight, lost the fascination of the new. When she became a grown-up; when she became publicly known as a flawed, suffering person instead of a cartoon; when she stopped pretending to be a fantasy."

[valley-of-the-lost]

The Emotional Abuse of Eden Starling

    I have a massive soft spot for Barbie movies. They defined most of my early childhood, from the music to the dress transformations. It was an intense nostalgia trip to revisit them when I was older and through a more comprehensive lens compared to when I saw them last. While I was doing this, one in particular stuck out to me. Barbie in a Christmas Carol. It was the version of the classic tale A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens that I had grown up with, and while my memories of it were fond, it didn’t trigger intense nostalgic reactions in me like ones like 12 Dancing Princesses did. So, naturally, I rewatched it to refresh my memory. And it immediately shot up to my favorite Barbie movie, at least, of the ones I have seen, because it handles surprisingly more mature and complex themes than you’d expect for a piece of early 2000’s kid’s media. I’d like to dissect one of these themes today: childhood abuse, specifically how Eden Starling, the protagonist of the movie, was abused by her caretaker, Aunt Marie.

Aunt Marie was emotionally abusing Eden throughout her childhood by overworking, socially isolating, guilting, shifting the blame, and asserting control over Eden through verbal manipulation. All of the above can be seen in the interaction between Eden and Marie in the Ghost of Christmas Past flashback section of the movie. While the conversation is brief and I am well aware that technically due to how short it is, it could possibly not be representative of Eden’s entire childhood, the movie treats it as the standard for their dynamic when Eden was a child, so that is how I will be treating it as well when analyzing the quality of Eden’s upbringing. So, without further ado, let’s parse out what tactics Marie employs on Eden throughout the conversation.

The scene opens with the Ghost of Christmas Past and Eden from the present (whom I will call “Present Eden” throughout the rest of this post aside from this scene summary) arriving in a room via a golden portal. Eden as a child (whom I will call “Past Eden” to differentiate her from Present Eden, again, aside from this summary) is sitting at a long table, resting her head on her arm and staring out the window at the snow falling outside. She has food in front of her, implying she was eating or expected to eat at some point, but she doesn’t touch it until her Aunt Marie says her name and walks into the room. Past Eden then straightens in her seat, looking more alert, and quickly eats all her food as her Aunt Marie enters the room while staring into a handmirror. After she is done, Eden asks if she can go to the Beadnell’s house for Christmas, where she had been invited by her friend Catherine Beadnell. Aunt Marie refuses, and says that after dinner they rehearse. Eden tries to press the issue, but is shut down and told to rehearse until dinner is ready.

Already the movie itself is calling attention to a major disparity in this scene: there is no indication of celebration within Marie’s household, be it Christmas or otherwise. The room Past Eden is sitting in is literally bare floorboards and blue wallpaper, with the only lighting being the dim sunlight streaming through the window. The decor itself is the epitome of the bare minimum; it’s wooden and matches the floorboards, giving the room a homogeneous appearance. Taken altogether, the dim lighting, cool color scheme, and general emptiness of the space gives the room a cold, lifeless feeling.

To further reenforce this, when the Ghost of Christmas Past thinks she accidentally didn’t send them to Christmas due to the room’s clearly lacking Christmas cheer, Present Eden corrects her by saying “No… this is right…” establishing that this is indeed how she spent her Christmases as a child. If that was not enough indication that something is definitely wrong, the Ghost of Christmas Past is still in disbelief, pointing out the absence of typical Christmas fixtures like a tree or stockings, but then she comes to a realization and says to Present Eden “Oh… you poor thing”. This expression of sympathy shows that there’s not just something off about this scene, something’s terrible about it that would warrant this sympathy in the first place. The conclusion from just this section of the scene would be that Eden was not very happy as a child, and never had what would be thought of as a “proper” Christmas growing up for one reason or another. So what was the reason for this? Why, Aunt Marie of course. Not just because she’s Past Eden’s guardian and therefore these responsibilities would fall onto her, but for other reasons that are revealed in the following conversation when Past Eden asks to go to the Beadnell’s house:

"Eden: I'm all done Aunt Marie. Can I go over to the Beadnell's house? 

Marie: Of course not. After dinner we rehearse. 

Eden: I know... But I thought we could... maybe make an exception today. Because it's Christmas! They all said they'd really love to see me there. Catherine even said it'd make her Christmas!"

This immediately ticks off two red flags: social isolation and overworking. Marie is preventing Past Eden from spending Christmas with Catherine and Catherine’s family, and by extension, denying her positive social interaction. In the context of the date being Christmas, Marie is also denying Past Eden a better Christmas with this action, as when Past Eden sneaks out to the Beadnell’s house, it can be seen that they celebrate a more typical Christmas. They have family, food, decorations, a tree, and presents, even some for Past Eden. This shows that Marie shows a lack of regard for Past Eden’s mental wellbeing, as positive social connections and interaction is critical to a child developing into a healthily functioning adult.     In addition to isolating Past Eden, there are implications that Marie is overworking Past Eden as well. It is obviously cruel to make a child work through a holiday when they obviously do not want to, but Past Eden’s wording (“...maybe make an exception today…”) insinuates that working through the day with no known breaks under any circumstances except to eat is the norm for her. Barbie and Kelly, the former of which is telling Eden’s story to the latter, also confirm this:

"Kelly: Wait... Aunt Marie is making Eden work on Christmas? 

Barbie: Well, every day. But yes, on Christmas too. 

Kelly: But that's not fair! 

Barbie: It's not. 

Kelly: And there's nothing Eden can do about it? 

Barbie: affirmative noise"

Forcing a child to rehearse day in and day out with no time off except to eat against their will is not natural; it’s controlling. It’s a bad sign for their future development and mental health, as this constant pressure to rehearse and by extension be good at this thing they are rehearsing for will likely end with them pinning their sense of self and self-worth on this one thing they’re working towards. Thus, they will have a harder time coping with failure at this one thing, or have no other emotional rapports to fall back on if something happens. Marie is not setting Past Eden up for a healthy adulthood here in any way. She has no regard for Past Eden’s mental wellbeing, and is not above employing manipulation to force Past Eden to agree to her demands, as she proceed to do when Past Eden tries to press her request:

"Marie: Make (Catherine's) Christmas? Make her Christmas? What about your Christmas? More importantly, what about your future? You want to be a star, don't you? 

Eden: I do, but- 

Marie: More than anything else in the world? 

Eden: Yes, but- 

Marie: Then what Catherine and the Beadnells want doesn't matter!..."

    Now, what happens here is that Marie guilts Past Eden for considering Catherine’s feelings and manipulates her answers to shift the blame for the circumstances onto Past Eden. This is all designed to browbeat Past Eden into submission so she will do what Marie wants. First, with the guilting, Marie shifts the conversation from spending time with Catherine to Past Eden’s future (“...What about your Christmas? More importantly, what about your future?...”). Her word choice of “what about” and “don’t you” suddenly imply that Past Eden is putting her future singing career in jeopardy by wanting to spend one day with Catherine. In essence, Marie is saying Past Eden is putting her entire future at risk just for the sake of catering to what the Beadnells want, completely ignoring that it’s what Past Eden wants as well, and thus making her feel guilty for putting something so important as her singing career on the line just for the Beadnells and their feelings.

    Marie also shifts the burden of the situation onto Past Eden over the course of the conversation, by suddenly placing it on Past Eden’s shoulders. “More importantly, what about YOUR future?” and “YOU want to be a star, don’t YOU?” both imply that Past Eden herself is responsible for the perceived obstacle (her singing aspirations) blocking her from going to Catherine’s house, and thus absolve Marie herself from any of the blame she has for creating this situation for Past Eden in the first place as her guardian.

    In order to guarantee that Past Eden will comply, Marie manipulates the conversation in her favor. First, she poses a yes or no question to Past Eden (“You want to be a star, don’t you?”) giving Past Eden reflexively predictable answers, so she can more easily get the response she wants and shut Past Eden’s objections down when Past Eden clearly has more to say by interrupting her (“I do, but-”...”Yes, but-”). She employs the same tactic again with “More than anything else in the world?”, except when she gets the affirmation she wants, she uses the absolute of “anything else in the world” to dismiss what Catherine and the Beadnells want, and by extension, what Past Eden wants. The message from this she’s sending Past Eden is that by her own desire to be a star more than anything else in the world, it’s her own fault for not being able to spend time with Catherine or the Beadnells because they fall under “anything else in the world”. In short, the problem is Past Eden’s fault. Which it isn’t, but Marie wants Past Eden to think that it is, so she bends to Marie’s will more easily. And eventually, she wants Past Eden to bend to her way of thinking too:

"Marie: Then what Catherine and the Beadnells want doesn't matter! What do I always tell you? 

Eden: In a selfish world, the selfish succeed. 

Marie: That's right. And if you want to succeed, you must use every second of your time selfishly. 

Eden: Yes, Aunt Marie. 

Marie: Good choice. I'm proud of you. Now go work your scales until dinner's ready." 

Marie defines how Past Eden should feel, and then tops it off with a dose of conditional affection. She makes Past Eden repeat a mantra she has told her in the past (hence the “always”): “In a selfish world, the selfish succeed”. Her goal is to make Past Eden internalize this value and eventually have it dictate her life, so she shuts down any other avenue for Past Eden to deviate from this. No Catherine, no Christmas, no disagreeing with her on any level.

Ironically, it should be said that Marie is telling Past Eden to be selfish and to “use every second of her time selfishly”, yet there’s no room for Past Eden herself to define “selfish” for herself. How can Past Eden truly live selfishly if she’s not allowed to define what selfish is for herself? She can’t, it’s a contradiction, and it exposes that Marie doesn’t want Past Eden to live selfishly with regard to herself. No, Marie wants Past Eden to live selfishly with regards to her, and wants Past Eden to only think she’s living selfishly for herself. A line earlier in the movie supports this and puts Marie pushing Past Eden to practice in a new light: “(In a selfish world, the selfish succeed) was my excuse for not having the talent to become a star myself!" This makes it seem like Marie was living vicariously through Past Eden due to her failed aspirations, like those dance moms who live through their daughters.

Of course, Past Eden finally relents to Marie as she’s no longer being allowed a voice in this conversation and Marie rewards her with “Good choice. I’m proud of you”. The “good choice” sounds vaguely threatening, as if implying there was a BAD choice in the first place, but the small bit of praise in “I’m proud of you” is an example of conditional affection, especially in the context of Marie giving it. Past Eden bowed to her wishes, thus she “earned” Marie’s affection. This is a bad message to send to Past Eden, as it says to her that she’s only worth the affection when she agrees with Marie. Essentially, she’s not worth loving as her own person, only as what Marie wants her to be.

After this, Past Eden sneaks out when her Aunt is asleep and sleds to Catherine's house. She briefly gets to celebrate Christmas with her friend and the rest of the Beadnells, but then a knock comes at the door. Aunt Marie had woken up and is there to yell at Past Eden and drag her back home.

When the knock comes, Present Eden’s reaction is worth noting, especially to determine how the following events affected her long after they initially occurred:

"Present Eden, to the Ghost of Christmas Past: Take me home. Now. 

Ghost of Christmas Past: Why? We're having so much fun! 

knocking gets louder and more insistent

Present Eden: NOW! 

Door opens to reveal Marie standing in the doorway

Aunt Marie: Where. Is. EDEN?!"

    Present Eden’s immediate distress with the smile vanishing off her face to be replaced with a scared expression at the sound of the knock and her increasingly insistent demands for the Ghost of Christmas Past to take her home before the door opens signifies that this particular part of the memory was traumatizing for her. It also implies that Eden, both Past and Present, is afraid of her Aunt Marie. This isn’t the first time Present or Past Eden have shown fear in Marie’s presence. Earlier, in the beginning of the flashback, when Aunt Marie addresses Past Eden, Present Eden recoils with a fearful expression on her face at the sound of Marie’s voice. Past Eden also has trouble keeping sustainable eye contact with Marie, especially when Marie is looking directly at her, which could be a sign of intimidation or anxiety.

    The traumatizing part of this event wasn’t just Marie angrily demanding to know where Past Eden was though, as is revealed when Present Eden relays the rest of what happened in her bedroom with her knees pulled up to her chest:

"Present Eden: She ruined the whole holiday. Just stood there, screaming, for what seemed like forever. At me, at Catherine, at the Beadnells, oh, it was horrible. That was my last Christmas there. Aunt Marie never left me alone for a second after that. 

Ghost of Christmas Past, placing a hand on Present Eden’s: I'm so sorry, Eden. 

Present Eden, shrugging off the Ghost of Christmas Past’s hand and getting up from the bed to fluff her hair: Don't be. Aunt Marie was right! I wasted time on those silly Christmas pageants for the Beadnells. After that, I concentrated on myself. And you know what happened? I made my Covent Garden debut at thirteen. Thirteen."

    According to Present Eden, Marie screamed at not just Past Eden, but everyone present. Not only is it already traumatizing for Past Eden to be yelled at by an adult figure she’s already shown signs of being scared of already, but it would also be mortally humiliating because she’d likely think the Beadnells are being yelled at because of her. As if Marie hadn’t already heaped enough undeserved blame onto Past Eden, intentionally or not.

    This event also marked a turn for the worse in Past Eden’s life. If Marie wasn’t controlling enough before by depriving Past Eden of social contact in favor of having her rehearse, she apparently became worse by “not leaving (Eden) alone for a second after that”. That, coupled with that being Eden’s last Christmas at the Beadnell’s, likely means that Eden was completely socially isolated for the rest of her upbringing, except perhaps in special Marie-approved and supervised interactions.

    As if this wasn’t all bad enough, Present Eden also reveals two key pieces of information through mentioning her Covent Garden debut at thirteen years old. It confirms that Past Eden in the flashback was at the very least younger than thirteen, as Present Eden speaks about the debut as if it happened after Marie forced her away from the Beadnells, and that Eden was a child star. The abuse has been happening at the very least since Eden was younger than thirteen and she was a child star, which she does not have the proper support system to manage the stress that would come with that. And even Present Eden herself doesn’t seem too happy about it either for a split second.

While the peek into Eden’s childhood is brief, dissecting it reveals that it is far more insidious than it appeared to be upon first glance. Marie’s methods of molding Eden into what she wants is terrifying as she’s willing to sacrifice Eden’s happiness and agency as a person in order to further that end. And the worst part is that she succeeds. The Eden at the beginning of the movie is the result of years of being subjected to Marie’s abuse, someone who was never allowed to grow into her own person and probably doesn’t even know how to express herself properly beyond the toxic methods that Marie taught her. But the extent of Marie’s damage to Eden’s life will have to wait until another post, since that’s another deep hole I want to dive into but for the sake of staying on topic we’re leaving that for later. Thanks for reading!

Loose ends: 

- The hell was Eden eating in the flashback? It looked like burned potatoes and toast. I remember being baffled by this even as a kid, because I was confused that I was supposed to see that as food. The implication seems to be that Eden didn't have good food and nutrition growing up, which @/barbie-movie-reviews pointed out in their review of this movie could be why she was so passionate about her crumpets. I plan to expand on that later for another post, but Marie apparently can’t be bothered to get decent food for Eden.

- Aunt Marie's handmirror and her looking at herself in it is likely a visual shorthand for her being a selfish person like how she wants Eden to be, especially since she is supposed to be the Jacob Marley of the story and the mirrors are her “chains”. Though now I get more of the impression of "narcissistic tendencies", which are apparently common in emotionally abusive parents.

- Aunt Marie tells Eden that after dinner they rehearse, implying Eden just ate dinner, and then later orders her to practice her scales until dinner is ready? It's either an inconsistency or awkward wording.

[kestrel-of-herran]

about Vincenzo having a female director, I think it really shows in the drama because not only does the show emphasize how hot SJK as Vincenzo is, it really focuses on Vincenzo as an object of desire instead of Chayoung or any of the female tenants in Geumga Plaza. would that be considered female/feminine gaze? I just like how the women are portrayed and it reverses the roles sometimes you see in kdramas or tv in general.

that plot line in ep. 8 is unfortunate and homophobic from my viewpoint but making Vincenzo the homme fatale falls in line with this too. sorry, that was a lot but I love your posts abt the show very much!

that’s exactly how i see the impact of vincenzo’s female director, anon! i’m happy to know that all the beautiful, aesthetic shots i’ve been appreciating are her doing, and that she’s interpreting the characters along with the actors during filming. and i agree that this is exactly how the female gaze works - if anyone is briefly objectified in this series, it’s vincenzo himself, never the women characters, which is always a pleasure to (not) see. and the script itself is very feminist and focused on the female gaze, with such a wonderful, quirky, flawed, powerful, all-around human character as cha young in the equal position of protagonist alongside vincenzo.

to be perfectly honest, i don’t consider the ep.8 plot homophobic, though i can understand the backlash. as a disclaimer, i’m not a member of the lgbtq+ community, so feel invited to ignore my point on the matter completely, it’s just an opinion!

i enjoyed the homme fatale plot point in that episode, i found it very fitting and refreshing, and i definitely connect it to the female gaze as well! after all, it was literally cha young’s gaze that transformed vincenzo into that role.

but the reason i don’t consider the episode homophobic is because, to me personally, the inclusion of a marginalized character in a negative role is not necessarily meant to equate all characters from that marginalized group with ‘evil’. take a look at myung hee (the prosecutor) for example - just because she is a middle-aged, career-focused woman with no family who loathes the female protagonist and is placed in an exclusively negative role, i don’t consider her representation to be a form of sexism meaning that all unmarried career-focused women are corrupted by their ambition and become less than human. if anything, it is a commentary on what surviving in the patriarchal corporate world can do to a person’s morals. but such women exist, because feminism does not mean that all women are good or that all women should treat each other like sisters, it only means that women are men’s equals, and that includes equals in evil as well as in good. so i’m glad that myung hee is allowed to be a horrible female character, because i love to see that representation as much as i loathe her. (i really recommend margaret atwood’s fiction, particularly the robber bride, for an interrogation of the representation of evil female characters as a form of feminism.)

in the same way, the representation of a rich, abusive homosexual character seems to me a very specific reflection of the fact that relationship abuse can be conducted regardless of the class and gender of the abuser and the victim, instead of a condemnation of all lgbtq+ people as abusers. it’s just such a particular situation - a spoilt rich boy with a bad temper who just happens to be gay - that i can’t take it as a universal representation of homosexuality as something ‘bad’, and i don’t believe it was intended as such.

i think there might even be some positive lgbtq+ representation in the show - mister ahn the nis agent? i’m getting major gay vibes from him. but i agree completely that kdramas need to do more to represent lgbtq+ people, and vincenzo doesn’t have this as its goal.

again, this is only my honest opinion, so please feel free to disagree with me completely. i’m so glad that you enjoy my posts, and thank you for the ask!

[celestialices]

QUEST!

Greek Mythology x Haikyuu

Haikyuu!Ensemble x Reader

OVERVIEW. You were just a perfectly normal student at The University of Tokyo, when suddenly a bunch of 'normal boys', as they call themselves, appeared in your life and started to squeeze themselves into your life. Always saying something like "You're a goddess, we need to take you back to Olympus" (you brushed it off, saying that it was just a silly compliment) and even absurd sentences such as "You got Medusa's eyes" and "You're really Medusa's daughter!"

002: TRUTH UNTOLD

WARNINGS. Cursing, Mentions of Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks and Panic Attacks

masterlist

previous | next

Alas, the most anticipated day finally came, the Ritual of Intuition. A new batch of deities will finally reap what they sown for the past 18 years.

But for Asami, it's not just that, hence also her the freedom she desired so much. No more asking for permissions to go here and there, and maybe, just maybe, she gets to explore the human world below! What an exciting day, really. Yet despite how much excitement filled her body, there's also this anxious feeling running through her. A bad intuition, some may say.

"You'll do great." Kiyoko, her half-sister who volunteered to dress her up for the occasion, suddenly said. "I know you will." Shimizu Kiyoko, the daughter of Poseidon and Aphrodite, has always been a caring sister. Although generally known to be aloof and straightforward, she’s also a passionate and responsible goddess. The next Aphrodite.

After placing a gold night star necklace on Asami's neck, the alluring goddess kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you there, okay? Take all the time you need.” Kiyoko bid her goodbye to Asami, off to check on her other friends.

Shimizu Kiyoko is the best sister you could ever ask for.

Asami stood up from her seat after a few breaths, heart hammering as she tread her way towards the large, gleaming primrose mirror in her quarters.

She stared at the mirror, not used to seeing the dead eyes. It was often said that her eyes were like the stars; always glowing whatever time it is of the day. Her usual cheery face was nowhere to be found, placed by anxiousness all over.

Why is she feeling nervous anyways? It’s just the ritual. Nothing more, nothing less.

Shaking her head, her eyes went down to the little details of her headwear and the attire she herself designed just for this day. A simple light blue, priding her father's color representation but in a lighter hue, off-shoulder lace dress that covers up her feet. A hint of turquoise flowers and embroidered silver vines dancing in the soft nude fabric, covered off with a light blue lace tulle, matching the shade of her top. A dress she chose to represent her parents, the reason why she's here today.

A sudden cool breeze passed making Asami shiver as she stared up her ceiling. What's keeping her from leaving her room were a bunch of 'what ifs' clouded in her head. Sighing deeply, "Come on, Asami. You've waited your whole life for this. Don't let the negative thoughts get you, as Sugawara always says." Asami muttered to herself, remembering the words of her friend managed to calm her nerves a bit.

"Asami, my daughter." Asami flinched upon hearing her father's voice, Poseidon. The god entered her chambers with his favored son, Iwaizumi Hajime. She gave them a look before running into her father's arms. "Aren't you excited? You should've left your room by now." Poseidon asked, a bit worried for his favorite.

Knowing Asami, they expected to see her happily running around the halls with her friend, Yamaguchi. It’s one of the common occurrences inside Zeus’ Palace to catch sight of the two best friends chasing each other all over the place. Sometimes, a few other deities joins them too. Nonetheless, it cheers everyone else as well.

"Don't get me wrong, Father. I'm really excited, but also quite nervous." Asami answered genuinely, breaking the hug. "What if I really don't have the powers like everyone says? I wasn't born with powers either." She added and exhaled, fiddling with her hair.

Asami won’t be lying if she says the rumors from the other deities are getting in her head. Rumors concerning her spread like a wildfire in Mt. Olympus. She tried so hard to ignore them, but she got stuck in the uncontrolled fire that slowly burns her mind.

Before she knew it, it affected her whole life. Asami thinks about it as soon as she opens her eyes in the morning, before sleeping at night, even when peacefully eating. It was too much, her mind is as if it’s like a deity is constantly pouring water in an glass that’s already full.

How can she not worry when the common occurrence is when a deity's parent or parents unexpectedly dies, the powers are transferred to them as soon as possible. Of course, every move they make are being watched by Athena, a request of Zeus as his fear still lingers.

But that's not the case for her. At all. She's the first one to have a case like that. Oh how Asami tried so hard to find what it is, from glaring at objects to talking to snakes. Yet it was no use.

Was Medusa not fond of her? Maybe, maybe she forgot. Or maybe! Maybe Athena prevented her to! Yeah, that sounds right. The story of Medusa and Athena’s punishment are still passed on ‘til this day, every deity is aware of it.

"Don't worry too much, Asami." Iwaizumi's words snapped her out of her thoughts. "Like Father always says, you are just a rare case." He gave his sister a comforting smile. A smile from Iwaizume comforted her, even though his smile looks really weird sometimes, he tries.

"Now child, chin up. Let's get going, your friends are waiting for you." Poseidon said with pride laced all over his voice. Asami nodded and gave a short smile, just to let them know she’s fine.

The three exited Asami's chambers and made their way to the courtyard, where the ceremony will take place.

Heavy.

Every step she took became heavier and heavier. Like a brick had been put secretly on her shoes. The discomfort in her heart makes it worse, it feels like she’s voluntary walking towards her death. She used to wander around these halls so free of worries, enjoying every scenery put before her eyes.

So why? Why is this happening now?

”Asami.”

Asami felt like Mount Olympus is disappearing from her grasp, darkness slowly consuming her vision. Like a black hole miraculously popped up, swallowing her body.

“Asami.”

Her companions were talking but she can't hear anything but ringing in her ears. Her thoughts were so loud, she wants to escape but the black hole was preventing her to. Asami was stuck in her own mind.

It hurts.

“Asami!”

It hurts!

"Asami, hey!"

A voice called out to her.

A voice as clear as the skies, a voice she'll always recognize.

The voice she treats as her stars, because through the darkness, it will always be there to give her light.

Her vision leisurely went back. Enough to glimpse at Yamaguchi waving happily before making his way towards the her. Yamaguchi bowed to the sea god and his son who were about to enter the courtyard, them only nodding at him in return.

Yamaguchi was about to give Asami a hug when he saw her face that screamed distress. He immediately took a step back, knowing that's enough space she needs. He silently offered his hand for her to hold on, which Asami instantly grabbed on.

It's always like this.

After years of witnessing her panic attacks, Yamaguchi eventually learned how to act when this happens. Even if he also panicked the first time it happened.

He only watch her body shook in fear, watch her breath difficultly. He can only watch. Of course, Yamaguchi wants to do more than watch. He wants to whisper assuring words to her ears, help her breathe comfortably, he wants to help her.

But he also knows this is for the best. He doesn’t want to overstep her boundaries.

Because it’s always like that.

"Good?" He asked after noticing that her breathing went back to normal. A smile finally made it's way on Asami's lips as she looked at her best friend in the eyes. Yamaguchi only smiled in return.

It was always like this.

An unspoken habit of them both once something happens to one another. Smile like nothing happened. It became a comfort for them, assured that it’ll never change. The constant in a world full of changes.

"Are you excited to receive your powers? I'm really excited!" Yamaguchi gave her a quick embrace, his heart relieved that he finally did what he’s dying to do.

"I'm nervous, Tadashi." Asami answered. "But yes, after waiting for years, we'll finally receive the blessing. I can't wait!" She stated with a big smile plastered on her face, making Yamaguchi chuckle. Back to her original self.

The two entered the courtyard after a few minutes of catching up and went to their respective places, Yamaguchi with the Aeolians, placed at the Doric columns, and Asami with the Atlanteans, next to where Zeus' podium stands.

The ceremony started instantly, starting with the children of minor gods and goddesses residing in Hestia's place, Eophertia. Yachi Hitoka was the first one to go, the daughter of Aletheia, the goddess of truth.

Asami watched with anticipation, since Yachi is a good friend of hers. But the anxious feeling never left her, at all, making her tense every second of the event. "You good?" Iwaizume whispered to Asami, feeling the tense the second he looked at her.

She only gave a look of appreciation to Iwaizume, thanking every deity there is for giving her Iwaizume as her step-brother. She really got blessed with the most caring siblings in her immortal life.

Minutes passed, more deities received their blessings and are already privately trying their new profound powers.

Finally, the batch of Aeolians were asked to line up. Asami visibly stiffened, realizing the Atlanteans were next. As Yamaguchi stood in the center, he peeked at Asami, giving a nervous grin. Asami gave him two thumbs up, forgetting her own anxiety for a moment.

"Atlanteans." Flinching when she heard Hera's voice after the wind deities left the center, Asami didn't notice that her mind flew while the blessing took place. She only started walking after Shirofuku Yukie, daughter of Poseidon and Demeter, nudged her.

Whispers erupted as the year's batch of Atlanteans made their way to the center. Asami stood in the center, as she is the daughter of the ruler of Atlantis. Poseidon gave his daughter a tap in the back once everyone settled down.

"Begin." Hera tiredly announced, thankful that this was the second to the last batch. She was already itching to rest, irritated just like every ceremony.

The god of sea raised his trident, starting the blessing by giving a fair share of powers for his people. In the middle of Poseidon mumbling his spell, Hinata Shoyo, the son of Helios and Perse, detected an unusual reaction from the person beside him, Yachi. "What's wrong?" He immediately asked.

Yachi let out a quiet shriek after Hinata spoke. "I.. I'm not sure if what I'm seeing is right." She answered. Since she just got her powers hours ago, she's having second thoughts on what her eyes is showing her. Maybe it's just her imagination? She tend to do that a lot.

"What do you see?" Tsukishima Kei, son of Selene and Endymone, butted in. Curious of what's happening.

Yachi shook her head. "My eyes.." She took a deep breath, contemplating if this was the right thing to do. "..are telling me that Asami's a human."

Hinata's eyes widen after hearing that, even Tsukishima was taken aback. "Are.. are you sure? That can't be possibly true."

"Check again." Tsukishima uttered.

Hearing the three's conversation, Hermes quietly laughed. He internally praised himself for sitting behind the goddess of truth this year. Kunimi Akira, his son, frowned upon hearing this. "Father, this entertains you?" He asked. His hatred for his father grew in just mere seconds.

Hermes looked at his son before whispering to his ear, "I'm the cause. The real goddess lives with the mortals." Kunimi's eyes immediately widened for a second, he's disappointed but deep down, he's not surprised. Only his father can pull shits like this. "That's just what Poseidon deserves after what he did to Medusa."

Kunimi sighed. "Father." The frustrated god called. "You know what will happen when-"

"I know, I know. That's the fun part." Hermes cut him off. Kunimi wants to curse his father out, so tired of bearing his own parent's tricks. "Hey, Yachi. Announce that to everyone." Hermes whispered to the overwhelmed goddess' ears.

Yachi tensed up, slowly looking back at Hermes. "I.. It's true?"

"You can't lie. How can it not be true?" Hermes smirked. Kunimi cringed at this, wanting to be swallowed to the ground right now. "Yachi, the goddess of truth, has an announcement!" Hermes suddenly exclaimed, eyes are already on him.

Everyone was confused, especially Asami. "What is it?" Zeus asked, displeasure everywhere on his face. This is the first time in years the ceremony was interrupted. "It better be important. The ceremony is not to be hecked in."

Everyone turned to Yachi who was already shaking in fear. "Uh.. I.." Yachi stuttered. "My.. my eyes are saying that.. that Asami is not a deity." She closed her eyes, afraid of how everyone will react.

The courtyard was silent. Everyone was taken aback, not sure what to react. "What kind of nonsense is that!" Poseidon yelled. The god stared at Asami, who's tears were about to fall. His eyes softened, what Yachi suddenly announced should not be true.

"Where's Aletheia? We can't just believe a goddess who got her abilities hours ago." Hera rolled her eyes.

"Aletheia went to the human world after giving the blessing for her daughter. She can’t come back immediately." Zeus exhaled. He stood up from his seat, "The ceremony shall end now. The superior gods will discuss this with the goddesses of truth later. For now, go to your respective domains." He ordered.

The deities were quick to follow, only sparing worried and disgusted glances to Asami.

Hanamaki Takahiro, son of Boreas and Oreithyia, was about to fly away but noticed Yamaguchi never moved after the devastating announcement. "Yamaguchi, hey." He called yet Yamaguchi didn't seem to hear him, gazed fixed on Asami.

Matsukawa Issei, son of Notus, tapped his Yamaguchi's back. "Asami's going to be okay." He said, capturing Yamaguchi's attention. "It's still not confirmed. Everything will be fine."

The spaced out god only nodded. Getting ready to fly, "I'm sending gods to the human world to find the real daughter of Medusa if this turns out to be true." The three heard Hera announce which made the wind deities look at her.

"Hera's right. We can't let a goddess wonder in the human world. Especially Medusa's daughter." Zeus stated. "If she doesn't want to return here, kill her." He added.

Aeolia - The Island of the Winds. It is ruled by Aeolus, the divine keeper of the winds. Aeolia is where the four seasonal Anemoi and their family lives. It is located on top of the clouds, above Poseidon's sea.

Aeolians - The people of the Winds. Every Aeolian can fly, the ability is given by their ruler, Aeolus.

Eophortia - Hestia's Residence. It is known to be the Land of Freedom. Home of minor deities. Demi-gods and Semi-gods who've got nowhere to go has been took in by Hestia. Everyone is welcome in Eophortia.

Atlantis - Poseidon's Paradise. Where sea deities, sea-nymphs, merpeople and sea animals live. It is a peaceful place, everyone gets along.

Atlanteans - What people of Atlantis call themselves. Every Atlantean can communicate with sea animals, creating a peaceful environment.

A/N:

Sorry for not updating so soon! School's been a bitch. I'll try to update regularly as much as I can. The reader insert may appear on Chapter 4! Please bear with me.

A lot of characters have been introduced in this chapter, I can't wait to show more of their side in the upcoming chapters. Also, I'm planning to release a little event here soon! It is called 'Exploring Olympus' wherein I'll post pictures of the places I took inspiration in for the places in Mt. Olympus.

I took a lot of time describing how Asami felt before the ceremony. I'm sorry if it's poorly written, but I gave my best! I will be better in the upcoming chapters.

Notes, comments and reviews are very much appreciated! It makes my heart so happy :) If you have any questions or literally anything else, please send an ask! I'd love to answer them.

Thank you for reading!

[lizworlds]

❤️ - “  My Love,   is actually  my Twin Flame  “ - ❤️

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐⭐ ⭐

“ My Love,is actually my Twin Flame “

                            ---written by:  🦂 Zayn Whyaeipi 🦂 

                                                                              8/27/2021

A Twin Flame, (Yin & Yang) often known as a "mirroring soul," is an intense embodiment of connection which is believed to be a person’s other half.

It’s based on the belief that one soul can split into two bodies. A twin flame connection will be both challenging and healing, which has been one of the significant aspects. The love story with twin flames created in the stars (literally). From their previous life experiences to their early physical meeting, and indeed throughout the turbulent stages of their relationship, everything about them was destined on a soul level.

When twin flames meet, either or both of them may be in a relationship with someone else. We refer to this person as a karmic partner. Usually, the Divine Feminine is single, while the Wounded Masculine is in a relationship with another (karmic partner). It can, however, happen in any circumstance. A teacher is the karmic mate of the Wounded Masculine. His/her job is to help the Wounded Masculine prepare for the Divine Feminine.

There will be a significant difference. If you represent the lighter side of the TF (Twin Flame) or the yin and yang dynamic, your light will shine on your twin flame’s lower shadow aspects that are living in that darker, denser energy, as well as the things that your twin flame does not want to face and the things that your twin flame is repressing. The Universe uses the karmic for the highest good of the TF (Twin Flame) Union.

( Image source: https://theworkingsinglemom.com/experiencing-tower-moments/ )

The Wounded Masculine may take a long time to settle this karma and part ways with the karmic partner because of soul/karmic contracts (lessons to learn). This is because karmic energy is heavy, and that he or she is still dealing with it. It’s a powerful sign that he/she further needs healing. Therefore, it shows that he or she is in his or her wounded masculine.

As a result, there’s a good chance things will turn messy. Many wounded masculines will have to go through "tower moment after tower moment" (a period when everything seems to crumble apart) before they fully discover what is best for their highest good.

As twin flames, the energies that come from third parties have a direct impact on their connection. For that matter, all relationships are affected to a degree by third-party or outside energies.

( http://www.thelesbianmafia.com/home/wp-content/uploads/feminine2.jpg )

Many times, the DM doesn’t value the relationship the way DF does. The divine masculine has repeatedly overstepped divine feminine boundaries. Breadcrumbing could also have endured by the Divine Feminine out of desperation energy to unite with her wounded divine masculine. She may have allowed deception, lies, and deceptive behaviors. Perhaps she put up with his/her back-and-forth with his/her karmic partner, anticipating s/he’d change his/her mind and choose her/him.

However, once the Divine Feminine has fully awakened, her intuition is so precise while she’s on the verge of healing. She understands she is worthy of becoming the only one in her divine counterpart’s realm.

The Divine Feminine will eventually realize that she is worthy of someone who recognizes both her greatness and her worth.

She desires to be with someone who treats her with love, respect, honesty, truth, and tenderness on an equal level.

She won't put up with anything less.

She isn't accessible for such nonsense.

It's a matter of all or nothing.

( Image source link:  https://www.pinterest.com/pin/855050679224598923/  ) 

We perceive the spiritual dimension as the need for: life's meaning, purpose, and fulfillment;

We know it in the spiritual realm as the ascent of one’s consciousness.

How many Spiritual Dimensions are there?

-3rd Dimension: "The Realm of Pleasure"

The 3rd dimension, We see physical things in our reality that take up space in the 3d or third-dimensional mind. Besides 3d and 5d, several physical objects can appear in 4d and 5d. Since we believe what we see, we believe the 3d only exists because of cultural indoctrination. It’s really restricting and prevents your mind from expansion.

* Ascension of conciousness involves :

(Materialism, Victim mentality, and Control, Status, Ego association, Service to self, Fear-lower emotions, Linear thinking  )

-4th Dimension: "The Realm of Time "

The 4th dimension connects the third and fifth dimensions. We know this dimension as spiritual awakening, and it begins through meditation to open the heart chakra. You can feel present in this realm by placing your hand over your heart. If you’re ever in 4d, you’ll notice that you’re quiet and still inside. You will feel happiness, love, and gratitude. As a result, in order to ascend from the 3rd to the 5th dimension, you must first go through or have at least experienced the 4th dimension.

* Ascension of conciousness involves :

(Understanding, Aligning with purpose, Synchronicity, Seeking answers, conscious being, more compassion, more connected, expanding consciousness )

( Image source link:  https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/514465957427019990/ )

-5th Dimension: " The Realm of Unconditional Love "

The 5th dimension is the dimension of love. You are in the space of unconditional love. To be in the area of love and light, you must remove any mental or emotional blockages such as fear, rage, jealousy, hatred, guilt, suffering, and so on. It is a very pure sort of love in which there are no boundaries to love. Telepathy is known in this dimension. Time overlaps, giving the impression that everything is happening at the same time.

* Ascension of conciousness involves :  

(Service to others, Purpose based, High Frequency, Abundance, Unconditional Sharing, effortless, Universal knowledge, aligning with the divine, authenticity )

As your soul sought answers, your ascension process began. Your Higher Self is well aware of this, and it is their responsibility to reveal it at the time when you are ready to have your Twin Flame experience and accomplish the ascension process. The Twin Flame experience is something that not everyone has chosen to have in this lifetime.

In this lifetime, not all twin flames are destined to meet. This all depends on your original soul contract and what you both agreed to learn and grow on a soul level.

Our emotional wounds are best provoked by our twin flame. This is because they are a part of us, and we are a part of them. Do not confuse this as being triggered, Twin flame triggers only lead you to a higher understanding of the connection. 

They experience similar wound patterns, and that they are our mirrors, revealing us what we require to heal. Ultimately, twin flame connections assist each person to heal through any difficulty. You’ll probably have a lot of soul mates. Soul mates are about completing each other. This is in line with the idea that with every expansion, some level of tension is to be expected, but then there’s only just one twin flame.  

NOT EVERYONE FINDS THEIR TWIN FLAME, BUT IF YOU DO, IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE A TOTALLY LIFE-CHANGING KIND OF LOVE. 

(  If you are reunited, your relationship has the potential to be once-in-a-lifetime. Nothing will ever be the same. )

( Image source link : https://dakotaearthcloud.com/product/marriage-sacred-masculine-divine-feminine/ )

The Divine Masculine counterpart is usually the one who awakens her (Kundalini activation). This can happen when two people communicate and are physically close to each other.

The Divine Feminine, triggers awakening in the DM, in a slightly different way and usually over a period of time. They intensify the divine masculine to connect to the Earth, nature, and the divine.

When your twin flames connect, they forge a connection that both grounds you to the Earth and to nature, as well as opens you up to higher beings and spiritual worlds.

( Image source: https://shop.cosm.org/products/oversoul-poster  ) 

The divine masculine and divine feminine, are both represented in twin flames. Both masculine and feminine energy exist in everyone of us. These energies have a significant impact on how we present ourselves in the world and in our interactions. Work, social expectations, trauma, past relationships, and other factors can lead this energy to be misaligned with our inherent nature, resulting in unnecessary tension, distance, and isolation. In addition, there is still a Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine polarity in same-sex couples.

Masculine qualities: Logic, Reason, Action, Firm, Survival, Loyal, Adventurous, Rational, Strength  ( Highlight:  analytical, competitive, and logical. )

Feminine qualities:  Intuition, Nurturing, Healing, Gentle, Expressive, Wise, ,Patient, Emotional, Flexible ( Highlight:  connection, emotions and flow. )

After the honeymoon stage, "you or your partner will be the one discovering unlikable characteristics, which will trigger anxiety, potentially causing the relationship to fall apart. This resemblance to a mirror is partly responsible for many of the dramas you’ll possibly experience with your twin lover. "Anything we’ve spent our lives ignoring or rejecting is suddenly in front of us," As you get to know each other, you may discover that you share the same traits about your upbringing, including being abandoned, or that you attended many of the same places at the same time.

About two years ago, number synchronicity started appearing for me before I met my twin flame, but I do not know what they are or what they imply. Then, for a week or two, this woman caught my attention because of an interesting event. Our meeting provoked my Dark Night of the Soul, which started the beginning of my (true) awakening journey, although I was in my pre-awakening stage when we met. After meeting her, (my twin flame ) I felt shivers down my spine. It’s bizarre on a cellular level. It’s as though I’ve known her throughout my whole life.

I felt a tremendous connection with her. I’d never really had anybody else before, in ways that I still can’t entirely verbalize.

I instantly recognized her as my wife when I met her, because I could hear those voices inside my head insisting that she was my wife in a previous life and will continue to be in the future. To be honest, I felt an immediate sense of peace; it felt as if I was her home. When my twin flame enters my life, I experience an immediate sense of relief, without knowing why.

The best part about having this kind of connection is having a home with somebody who embraces you for who you are on the inside and allows you to be entirely yourself. Everything clicks, whether you’ve been wearing make-up or just haven’t showered in days, and you couldn’t imagine having it with anyone else in your life like you do with your twin flame.

With my twin flame, her strengths are my weaknesses. We both help each other maintain a sense of equilibrium in our lives. They’re the sweet to my spice, the black to my white, and the yang to my yin. We are mirrors of the same and reflect each other's light or darkness, and this is why, at times, it becomes so difficult. The connection seems to match into my life, and you know it is genuine. It is the most beautiful and magical experience, and by far the greatest gift I could ever receive.

If you’re like most individuals, you’ve spent a significant amount of time praying and hoping for a meaningful relationship to appear in your life. You may not realize immediately that the person is your twin flame, but as soon as you do, you’ll stop seeking unrelated friendships and romances.

You know it’s important when your twin flame emerges. Now that they’re in your life, you feel like the wait is over.

When she’s with me, she makes my world feel bigger. When my twin flame and I are together, life opens up in various ways.

Whatever it may be, this mutual encouragement inspires you to expand your horizons by challenging what you previously believed to be impossible. We may have doubted our ability to achieve our dreams in the past, but today you know you can achieve what you’ve set your mind to. Perhaps because the twin flame energy has pushed us to it. 

Once you know your twin flame has your back, you can move forward with confidence and  they’ll know they have your support with everything. You can strengthen yourself emotionally and spiritually. They’ll improve as a person in perfect sync with your personal growth. You balance each other. You also help them stay aware of the world. They change as you do. They are, in many ways, your other half.

Your twin flame is the male or female version of yourself.

- End

❤️

All the Love - L

[loosescrewslefty]

Miraculous Ladybug- Fixing the Powers

I’ve been very much bothered by the way that the writing team for Miraculous Ladybug has been handling powers for a long time now. It might not be as frustrating or offensive as how they sometimes treat the characters and their relationships, but it BOTHERS me. Because it doesn’t make sense that Adults are more powerful than kids just by the grace of being an adult if the magic comes from a kwami and the jewelry and as such the age of the wearer shouldn’t matter as much. And objectively speaking, there as several ‘minor’ miraculouses that seem WAY more powerful than the two that are supposed to be the most coveted, the Ladybug and Chat Noir miraculouses. Also both the addition of the potions AND the distinctions given to some of the miraculouses/kwamis (Such as Pollen being the ‘Kwami of Subjugation’) are just... ODD. So a while back I sat down and charted out a way to ‘fix’ the powers in Miraculous Ladybug, much like I’ve seen others fix plots and characters.

More Clearly based on Yin/Yang, Wu Xing, and the Zodiacs

I can’t tell you how much it annoys me that Astruc clearly chose these Chinese motifs for the aesthetic, and didn’t bother researching or properly applying any of the theology attached to them to his show. Ladybug and Chat Noir SHOULD be equal, and balance one another out, but they’re not. Instead, Ladybug gets way more power and importance than Chat Noir does. And the Wu Xing Cycle is an important one too, because that’s nature holding itself in check. 

The Wu Xing has four different cycles attached to it; the Creation Cycle, the Destruction Cycle, the Insult Cycle, and the Controlling Cycle. It could have been interesting to lean into this, so that pairing two miraculous heroes together can lead to new powers being unlocked, depending on the two in question, and that if a  Hawkmoth happens, there are two heroes other than Ladybug and Chat who’d be able to step up and confront him.

New Stations/Distinctions for the Kwamis

It bothers me that the distinctions chosen for the Kwami feel extremely random, and don’t fit together at all. Nooroo is “Generosity”, Trixx is “Deception”, Pollen is “Subjugation”, Wayzz is “Protection”, and Duusuu is “Emotion.” Like, on their own these are fine. But none of them really relate to one another in a way that makes sense, which the Wu Xing SHOULD. As much as it annoys me, I can sorta understand why it would be a bad idea to attach the specific elements themselves to each Miraculous, because then people will expect the powers of that miraculous to relate to that element, which is very limiting. The Wu Xing is about much more than just nature and the elements. It’s also used to reference the passing of time, physical parts of the body, emotions, cardinal directions and so much more. 

But I still feel that the Distinctions for each Kwami and their powers should be presented in a what where it makes sense to see them relating to one another. One way I’ve suggested for people to do this is to include Ladybug and Chat in the consideration and base each of the Kwamis off of one of the Seven Chakras. But another way I like much better is to consider the kwamis in relation to what area their abilities will affect. For Example; Fox- Mind (Wood) Bee- Energy (Fire) Turtle- Body (Earth) Peacock- Soul (Metal) Butterfly- Heart (Water)

These are things you can tell at a glance relate to one another, without limiting the kwamis too much to being one trick ponies. And speaking of limits...

Limits are based on internal balance, not age

In an effort to make the sage figure that is supposed to be Fu NOT look like he has sand for brains and decided it’d be a good idea to give his chosen heroes a massive handicap against the villain right out of the gate, we’re going to change up the limiter for the Miraculouses. Rather than being based on age, the thing that determines how well you use a miraculous is your affiliation with the element/distinction that the Miraculous represents. Let’s use Kim as an example here. He’s very energetic and driven, so he’d have a great time with either the Bee or the Turtle, but give him the Peacock, the Butterfly, or the Fox, and things will get a hell of a lot harder for him. On the exact flip side, Juleka would be great with the Peacock, Butterfly, or Fox, but would struggle with the Bee or the Turtle.

Having the powers draw off of being able to synchronize with that power/ability due to personality makes sense, and is more true to the concepts that Miraculous Ladybug is trying to present than claiming that it’s because of age. And the beauty of this is that people can grow and change at any point in their life, which means that they can learn and change and miraculouses that they once struggled with can become easier for them to use while ones they once used easily can slip from their grasp if they begin to neglect that aspect of themselves.

More Clear and Understandable Power Pyramid

This is one of the things that bothers me MOST about how they’ve been handling the powers. We’re supposed to see Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses as the be all/end all, but many of the zodiac miraculouses seem much more powerful than them, and even the Peacock and Butterfly can create opponents that are more than a match for the Lucky Duo. Not to mention the fact that, as I said before, the Lucky Duo itself is imbalanced due to Ladybug getting all the power in their relationship. So the best way to fix that?

Power Pyramid.

By this, I mean that instead of all miraculouses just getting one power and calling it a day, it makes more sense to present the powers as an almost ‘trickle’ effect. To start off, Zodiacs get defined by a single element and whichever side of Yin/Yang they fall on, and get their power based on that. For example, the Dragon. That is a Yang/Earth (Body) Personality, who uses the elements in an aggressive way. Meanwhile, Snake is a Yin/Fire (Energy), so they require someone who comes across as passive, but is actually patient and knows to wait for the precise moment to strike.

Next level up from the Zodiac Miraculouses, we have the Wu Xing/Elemental Miraculouses. Rather than just one power, each Wu Xing Miraculous should get two, one based on it’s “Yin” Abilities, and one for it’s “Yang.” the way I broke it down when I was working this out for examples went like so;

Trixx

Fox Powers/Mind

Yang- Mirage 

Creates an illusion of the user’s choosing.

Yin- Outfox

Gives the user the ability to convince the victim that anything they’re saying is true.

Pollen

Bee Powers/Energy

Yang- Nectar

Ability to heal injuries and cure illnesses (not as strong as Miraculous Cure)

Yin- Sting

Causes temporary paralysis

Wayzz

Turtle Powers/Body

Yang- Shell-ture

Creates an impenetrable shield

Yin- Withdraw

Teleportation ability that allows the user to put people and object of their desire in a pocket dimension of their own making for protection.

Duusu

Peacock Powers/Soul

Yang- Good Spirits

Creates a golem/familiar of sorts that is bonded to a certain person or object and protects them at all costs.

Yin- Soul Search

Allows the user to leave their body and enter another persons to take control of their actions and peer into their memories.

Nooroo

Butterfly Powers/Heart

Yang- Metamorphosis

Creates heroes to fight alongside the user

Yin- Butterfly Effect

Allows a brief glimpse into the future

And then after the Elements, at the top of the Pyramid we have Ladybug and Chat Noir, who get a whopping FIVE power each, but can only access those powers when they are in tune with that aspect of themselves, much like using the lesser miraculouses. For Example, Marinette’s Ladybug Can easily do the Mind, Energy, and Heart powers, but has a much, MUCH harder time with the Soul one, because she tends to read people at face value rather than trying to see beneath the surface. Adrien’s Chat Noir is excellent with the Body and Energy powers, but struggles much more with Mind (linked to one’s creativity) and Heart (Based on people’s abilities to connect with others, something Adrien struggles with after being home schooled his entire life) My idea for the Ladybug and Chat Noir powers look like this;

Tikki

Ladybug Powers:

Positive Heart- (Healing) 

Miraculous Ladybug/Miraculous Cure

Heals all wounds, restores everything to its proper state

Positive Mind- (Inspiration) 

Lucky Charm

Grants Ladybug an object to help her win

Positive Energy- (Creating) 

Wish Come True

Allows Ladybug to will into existence something of her own choosing

Positive Body- (Protecting) 

Elytron

Allows Ladybug to recreate both her own suit and the suits of her allies to help them fight (space suits, ice skating form, underwater suits, ect)

Positive Soul- (Life) 

Red Thread

Ladybug has a limited ability to communicate with plants and animals, extending some of her power to them. Also works on humans, if the person trusts Ladybug enough to basically let her see into their very soul.

Plagg

Chat Noir Powers:

Negative Heart- (Toxicity) 

Cat Scratch

Curses the victim with a lingering sickness that can only be healed by Ladybug.

Negative Mind- (Madness) 

Cheshire Cat

Causes temporary insanity, which varies from victim to victim.

Negative Energy- (Destruction) 

Cataclysm

Destroys anything the user touches.

Negative Body- (Weakness) 

Catatonic 

Puts the victim to sleep.

Negative Soul- (Death) 

Catacomb

Allows the user to see, touch and summon spirits/ghosts

And that’s the basic breakdown of how I feel the powers of the ML universe SHOULD be handled instead. Feel free to comment with thoughts and inputs of your own and ask questions if any of this doesn’t make sense! ^^