#anti narc abuse

[adoraboy-moved]

what i need narc abuse believers to realize when we say "narc/npd abuse doesn't exist" is that we are not saying:

your abuse wasn't real or valid

pwNPD are never abusive

pwNPD are perfect angels who can do no wrong, ever

you're a liar

you're lying about your abuse

there is a 0% chance your abuser had npd

abuse isn't real

abuse doesn't happen, ever

you're an abuser

you are, without a doubt, not disabled, and also one hundred percent ableist and sanist

we are saying, though:

narc abuse itself, as a concept, does not exist

narcissists do not perpetuate any type of abuse that egotypicals can't

your abuse and trauma wasn't narcissistic abuse but rather emotional or psychological abuse

narc abuse itself, as a concept, has harmed pwNPD and their relationships

narc abuse has ruined any chance of finding actually good resources

narc abuse itself, as a concept, has been used to abuse narcissists

narc abuse itself, as a concept, is named after a mental disorder, which is inherently sanist and ableist

you have ableist and sanist biases that you do need to check, regardless of if you're intentionally or actively trying to harm people or not

[autismon]

"narc abuse" this "narc tactics" that what if i NARC punch you in the face

[thehareswears]

I love my npd mom, I know lots of narc abuse truthers lean heavily on the "narcissistic parent" as the reason why they're so spiteful but honestly it's not so awful for me.

She'll watch my emotionally unstable ass scream and cry and have a full blown meltdown and not bat an eye. Shes disgustingly honest with me all the time the woman sees no point in lying to me now. I can say whatever melodramatic, extreme emotional thought I have at that moment and she can understand that I'll be over it and not care. Her emotional permanence is zero, just like mine! We get into arguments or she'll be pissed at something but the next time she sees me it's like it never happened.

I won't lie, she's entitled, she's grandiose and arrogant, she's unempathetic and very manipulative. She's also my mother and I adore her because she loves me more than any other human does, she just does it a little different.

[duckduckgoose-exe]

the amount of people who still believe in ‘narc abuse’ baffle me

You do know that’s ableist, right

this is a Traumagenic disorder

pwNPD were traumatized enough to develop this as a protection

calling your bitchy dad a narcissistic for being horrible is sad, I’m sorry, but don’t say ‘narc abuse’

Because that doesn’t exist

[classically-tragic]

if you think narcissists are inherently evil get the fuck off my page or I’ll bite off all your fingers one by one

[starry-skies-116]

So:

I've been following NPD discourse and looking at NPD posts... and I just wanna say, as someone who's ND themselves...

If you believe in narc abuse and/or are anti-NPD, DNI.

That includes telling people how to deliberately trigger narc crashes, telling NPD peeps to commit unalive on themselves, using 'narcissistic' as an insult or throwing around the word derogatorily.

NPD is a fucking personality disorder that people suffer from, and even if I don't have NPD myself and am hyperempathetic, I'd like to at least make an effort to defend other Cluster B sheeple and people with low empathy by saying this. People are people whom are deserving of kindness and respect regardless of whether or not they are 'hard' to love (nobody is hard to love unless they are abusive and toxic deliberately), and you don't need high empathy to be a good person.

Also, can we stop the idea of narc abuse? Narcissistic abuse doesn't fucking exist JFC. Abusers are not inherently narcissistic- they're pieces of dogshit who know EXACTLY what they are doing, but they're NOT narcissistic. Treat people with NPD no differently than a person with any disorder.

[foxinfuzzysocks]

Seems I need to write a dni since I don't want my terms/flags getting into the wrong hands. This account does not support radqueers, terfs, or cluster b demonizers. Other basic dni criteria obviously applies. I'm typically a very centrist person when it comes to discourse but this is the stuff I won't stand for.

[cyber-spac3]

Hey you, yes you there with the cluster B disorder. The things people say about you are bullshit, you are a kind person who deserves so much out of life

[nicepersondisorder]

I don’t have npd but I just want to say that people who have npd aren’t inherently abusive, people with npd are inherently amazing 💚

YES WE ARE thank you!!! <333

[autismon]

i do not understand why people who say bad stuff about narcs don't understand the irony of what they say and do. they will go on and on forever about our selfish abusive behaviors and how awful we are and how everyone should listen to abuse victims and support them. Then they turn around and silence narcs [abuse victims] when we try and speak about our experiences, go out of their ways to harm us, try and use our mental illness against us to hurt us, etc. Like if anyone is harmful and abusive to other people i think its you??? like you literally share manipulation tactics and go out of your way to harm people who had the crime of responding to trauma differently than you, i mean talk about selfish.

[glitchcourse]

I wanna say a few words on "narc abuse" that have probable have been said before, but that I want to say noneless. I'm not excusing anyone who believes this is a real thing, I just wanna talk about it because I need to get it out.

Being abused fucks up your world, it always does. It wrecks your feeling of safety and trust, and makes you feel helpless. This is true for all abuse survivors. Now of course, there are terms like emotional or physical abuse (and others), which suffice for describing specific kinds of trauma. But for some reason, people find it necessary to drag people down with them. They blame pwNPD (and other cluster b disorders ofc), because that's easy. It doesn't matter that NPD is often caused by that same trauma they went through themselves, narcissists are "the bad guys".

Because it's easy. It is so so much easier to blame one group of people as "always bad" than it is to admit that anyone is capable of bad. It feels more secure. It feels more safe. Because it allows to you blame all Bad Things on the Bad People and ignore that all people are capable of being hurtful.

But it's not going to help. People will be morally ambiguous no matter what. Nobody is going to feel better if we blame a group of innocent people (and fellow survivors) for our problems.

Narcissists (or other cluster bs) are not the enemies, abusers are. For everyone.

[duckduckgoose-exe]

LMFAO THEY BLOCKED ME

fucking loser

too much of a dick to even retaliate your claims

‘enabler’ okay fuck you <3

‘Narc abuse is real don’t talk on something you know nothing about’

bruh im sorry?? Go to therapy??? Don’t harass a someone on the internet???

[will-pilled]

[doomsdayradio]

hey maybe, when people with npd tell you not to call abusers and rapists and the like narcissistic just because they're horrible people, view it not as us defending abusers or trying to control how victims talk about their trauma, and more like i as a survivor don't wanna be fucking put in the same category as an abuser or rapist for no fucking reason because you can't bring it upon yourself to spell the word egotistical

[a-sip-of-milo]

What I find fucking hilarious is that people think I've been a blind supporter of personality disorders my entire life. They don't know that for years, I believed in narcissistic/borderline abuse. I believed all anti-socials were scary. I used psychopath/sociopath/narcissist as insults. I was even in Facebook groups that supported survivors of "narcissistic abuse".

After growing up surrounded by people who believed in these things, why wouldn't I believe them, too?

When I was fourteen, I began doing research on what it meant to be a narcissist. I had incredibly ableist intentions while doing so, and I went through weeks of anti-narcissist stuff before stumbling across blogs similar to this one on Tumblr. (yes. it took tumblr to change my mind, which shows you just how bad things are.)

From there, I began to drip feed myself information on NPD, occasionally scrolling through the NPD tag and checking out blogs that held the very beliefs I hated. I never interacted with them, but was interested in figuring out why there was so much positivity for something I deemed so wrong.

So, it wasn't even that I was "brainwashed" into believing these things. I did extensive research from both angles and even had discussions with my grandmother about it, who since then has also done a heap of self-education.

This is why I can't help but laugh when people tell me I'm uneducated on the subject, or that I need to do more research instead of blindly following along with whatever the people around me say. I'd say the closest I ever got to following that advice made me realise just how wrong I was about so much.

And now I'm diagnosed with BPD, which only further proves their point that not everyone was cluster b personality disorders are bad:)

[cyber-spac3]

I’m just gonna say this off the bat, cause apparently people are pissed at specifically me about being against narc abuse.

by claiming you are being silenced and screaming about being accused of ableism, you take power away from yourself. You perpetrate harmful ideals. NPD is a disorder that comes from childhood abuse. The abuse you suffer from someone who happens to be a narcissist is real but it’s not because they’re a narcissist. Your language choice implies that NPD is the abuser disorder. You whine and complain about not having any other terms for your abuse when emotional abuse is a very real term. My mother is very likely a narcissist, she is also at least somewhat abusive, that does not mean that the fact she’s a narcissist is the reason I am being abused. The narcissistic tendencies she has may play a part in the abuse, but it is not the cause. Any disorder can impact the way an abuser abuses. If narcissistic abuse is real then, autism abuse, depression abuse, anxiety abuse, dysphoria abuse, and all sorts of other terms would be real, the fact that *no body fucking uses them* is enough proof that narc abuse isn’t real

also I’m just gonna ignore your ableist ass if you send me an ask on anon, show me you actually believe in your point of view by not hiding.