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nicksolemnlyswears · 3 months

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THE BEAR AND THE BEE HIVE

summary: in which carmy falls for the sweet café owner that supplies him with endless americanos

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

word count: 14.4k

warning: it's a little bit of a slow burn. sorry. i'm a sucker for it and i feel like carmy is a slow burn kinda guy. 18 +, cursing, smut, p in v, oral (m. receiving), fingering, they use protection guys! i deserve a pat in the back. nothing too wild. oh, and very brief mention of suicide.

a/n: i started writing this way back in october and then it was nearly done and i abandoned it. well i finally got around to completing it tonight!

this is my first time ever writing for carmy and i tried my best writing this. i love carmy and the show but i didn’t expect it to be hard to write him as a character. i wanted to get him right so i took my time with it and didn’t rush it. hopefully you guys like my carmy. enjoy!

i think i've had this stored in my drafts for like 4 months and it's time for me to set it free.

The cigarettes were not enough anymore. No matter how many smoke breaks Carmy took, he still felt the edge on his shoulders. A fear laced with anxiety that overtook him.

After deciding that blowing through yet another wall in his restaurant was the way to go, Carmy took a break. He needed it before he used the sledgehammer to destroy the restaurant in its entirety, along with his dream.

He remembers a coffee shop only a block away from The Bear and thinks he could use a coffee right about now. Maybe the mixture of caffeine and nicotine will be able to relax his shoulders, if only for an hour.

As soon as he opens the door, the smell of ground coffee beans greets him. He looks around, taking in the cozy ambiance the decorative wood brings to the place and the splashes of warm yellow that lighten it up.

Then he sees you, and his focus shifts entirely. His eyes only see you.

"Hi, welcome to Bee Hive!" You chirp with a small smile.

Carmy freezes, forgetting why he's there in the first place. He slowly steps up to the register, where you patiently wait for him. It's just after the lunch rush, so you're in no hurry.

He finds he's acting like a teenager who has just seen a pretty girl. Only he's not a teenager, and you're more than a pretty girl.

"What can I get for you today?" You ask, not noticing the effect you've had on him. You take a sharpie out of your yellow apron, preparing to scribble down his order in a cup.

Carmy has perfected the empty on the outside but screaming on the inside face. Strangers don't tend to know he's almost always losing his shit.

"I-I don't…sorry," Carmy looks at you briefly before diverting his eyes. He apologizes in a flurry, looking for an excuse for his weird behavior, "Uh, it's my first time here. What do you recommend?"

"It's not a problem," you say softly as if to calm him, "I'm a simple girl. I love the latte, but if you're looking for something stronger, the americano is one of the favorites."

Carmy nods as you ramble about the drinks, where the coffee beans come from, and the different notes of each blend. He hangs onto every word that slips from your lips. The static in his brain clearing up for the first time in hours.

It ends too soon as you realize you're talking too much and probably overwhelmed him. You sheepishly smile at him and trail off, but he continues to stare, waiting for you to continue.

"I'll take the Americano," Carmy nods, giving you a tight-lipped smile. Although he had been hanging to every one of your words, he was too focused on the shape of your lips and the sweet tone of your voice.

"Good choice," you nod, grabbing a cup from the tray beside you, "What's your name?"

Carmy looks up, slightly alarmed, as if you've asked for his social security number. "What?" He thinks you'll be forward and ask for his number next, seemingly forgetting how coffee orders work.

"Your name? For the order?" You explain, trying to ease his worries. He's odd, but in an endearing way. You believe this is his first time here because you're confident you would've remembered him.

"Fuck, right, yeah," he nervously says, pinching the bridge of his nose, "My name's Carmen."

"Your Americano will be right out, Carmen," you tell him, capping your sharpie back up.

Carmy quickly pays and stands to the side to wait for his order. He forces himself to not look at you or in your direction as you take other customers' orders. He just knows he's made a fool of himself already. Not that it matters. Why would it matter? He's there for the coffee. Nothing else, no one else.

As he walks out of Bee Hive, he sips his coffee. His shoulders instantly drop, and his fear-induced anxiety starts to dissipate for the moment. He's unsure if the effect is because of the caffeine or the thoughts of your pretty smile.

Visiting your coffee shop becomes routine for Carmy. Whenever things at The Bear become crazy -or he starts to lose his fuckin' mind- he makes his way to Bee Hive with a cigarette hanging from his lips.

For twenty minutes, he's free of Richie's constant hounding, Sugar's struggles with the permits and scheduling, and Sydney's disappointment because the menu is still extremely underway.

Each time he's stopped by, you've been there to greet him, and each time, you've left a little heart by Carmen's name, which makes his heart race in a peculiar way. His hands would touch his chest to check if it was heartburn, but it didn't feel like that. It's not anxiety either cause he knows pretty well how that feels.

All he knows is he hasn't done anything to deserve such a gesture. He's convinced himself you draw little hearts for everyone because he's not special.

One Thursday afternoon, Carmy realizes he doesn't know your name. He looks for a name tag, but you're not wearing one on your yellow apron. He should know your name if you insist on making small talk despite his short answers.

He can't help it. He gets too in his head to answer like a normal person, so his answers come out choppy and dry.

"Alright, Carmen, your order will be right out," you say, handing his cup to one of the baristas. You always hold out and ask him what he wants to order. He has the right to change his mind anytime, but for now, he's stuck with the americano, which he drowns in sugar.

As curiosity eats at him, he gathers the courage to ask. "Thanks. Hey, uh, I've-I’ve never gotten your name…” Carmy says, cursing at himself for not formulating the question correctly. His hand comes up to grip his hair instinctually.

Your smile widens when he asks your name. The silly crush you've developed for your customer fluttering to life. It's just a crush over a stranger, nothing to write home about.

You tell him your name but follow it with "-call me Honey. Everyone knows me by that name. I'm sure if you ask my friends about me with my real name, you'll throw them for a loop."

You're rambling, hoping he doesn't think calling you by your nickname is weird. Then again, how can he judge when he has a sister people call 'Sugar' and he and his siblings also don the nickname 'Bear.'

"Honey." Carmy repeats your nickname, smiling as he finds it fitting. "In that case, call me Carmy."

"Nice to properly meet you, Carmy," you say, grinning.

Like all the days before, Carmy steps aside and waits for his coffee. He doesn't let himself continue the conversation or ask more about you even if it’s everything he wants to do.

It's rare for Carmy to be in a good mood, and whenever it happens, it doesn't tend to last. His goal of opening a restaurant in 12 weeks makes it impossible for him to relax and enjoy the ride. To prolong this unusual feeling, Carmy stops by Bee Hive on his way to The Bear.

"Have you made your boss angry, Honey?" He asks as he pulls out his wallet to pay. He ordered the americano as he always does.

"No…why do you ask?" You ask, tilting your head in confusion.

"Uh, 'cause you-you're always here. Do you not take days off? Not that I'm complaining. I-I like seeing you here." Carmy's words get quieter as he speaks, red creeping up his neck. So much for trying to make a joke.

You look around the room and tell him, "Imma let you in on a little secret."

Carmy follows your hand, waving him to get closer. The smell of cigarettes invades your senses as you get close to him. You'd never admit that the mix of his cigarettes and your coffee is addicting. As both lean over the counter, you whisper, "I'm the boss. I can't run away even if I wanted to."

"You own the coffee shop," Carmy pans in shock.

Carmy is more than surprised at your words. Especially now that he knows how expensive it is to open a business. You can't be a day over 25 and own a successful coffee place. There is hope, after all.

"I do," you nod, standing straight once more.

A couple of years ago, you had inherited a hefty amount of money from an estranged aunt. Fresh out of college and with no real plan, you thought it would be a good moment to follow your dream and open the cozy café.

"How do you do it?" Carmy asks, amazed at the girl smiling at him. "I don't know if you know, but, um, I-I'm opening the restaurant around the block. Used to be The Beef?" He finishes grimly as he points to his side of the block.

"Oh, yeah. The guys who worked there helped me move some equipment when I first opened two years ago," you reveal, "Tell you what, whenever you have a break, come around. I'll give you a free americano and tell you all about it. Neighbor to neighbor."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Carmy agrees. "I'll take you up on that."

Weeks go by, and Carmy seemingly forgets about Bee Hive and your pending conversation. You try not to overthink about his absence or how you might've scared him away. He's probably just busy remodeling his restaurant. You know better than anyone how much time that takes.

Still, his presence has become part of your routine, and you can't help but look at the door each time the bell rings. You expect to see him walking up to the counter, the remnants of cigarette smoke coming out his nose as he breathes.

You're pretty close to your assumption because Carmy has been dealing with the fire suppression test. They didn't fail the test once but twice, and if they didn't pass it on the third try, their plan to open the restaurant in 12 weeks goes out the window. Fak has tried everything, and nothing works.

He'd sent Richie once on a coffee run, but the fuckin' idiot went to the nearest Starbucks. Carmy had been looking forward to tasting your coffee and seeing his name in the cup with the little heart because he's 100% sure he's the only Carmen you know. It's not a common name in these parts of town.

One very early morning, he's walking to work, and as he passes Bee Hive, he sees you inside, wiping tables down before you open at 6:30.

Impulsively, he knocks on the glass, not giving himself the time to overthink things. You turn to look at the window and see him standing outside, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his familiar plaid jacket to protect himself from the chilly March air.

"Hey stranger," you greet him, opening the door and inviting him in.

"Hi," he breathes out, staring at you, "you're here early," he tries to casually mention.

You roll your eyes dramatically and say, "It's a downside of the job. Did you know people want coffee at the crack of dawn?"

You try acting as nonchalant as possible. It's not like you missed seeing one of your favorite customers, his beautiful blue eyes, or the way he rocks a simple white t-shirt.

"I had no idea," Carmy smiles, bringing his tattooed hand up to his lips, "I, uh, usually drink mine at night." That much is true. On those sleepless nights when insomnia takes over him, the best remedy is coffee.

"Would you make an exception and join me for a morning coffee at the crack ass of dawn?" Anxiously, you play with the rings on your fingers. It feels like you're asking the guy on a date when it's just a friendly coffee.

"As long as you have some business advice to spare?" Carmy responds shakily. He briefly looks down the street to glimpse at his restaurant. It's too early for anyone to be there yet.

"Deal."

Throwing the towel over your shoulder, you make your way behind the counter. Carmy attempts to make small talk with you as you prepare both drinks.

This is the first time he's watching you in action since you tend to stick to the cash register when he's around. It's not a coincidence. After the first time he came to Bee Hive, you wanted to see more of him, so you stationed yourself at the register where you'd be sure to see him, and he'd see you.

"Here you go." You place his coffee mug on the table along with yours before disappearing momentarily and returning with an orange soufflé coffee cake. You're pulling all the stops for Carmy to leave a good impression.

Carmy thanks you and sips his coffee, "Wow, this is fire!" He expected to taste an americano, but what you prepared was entirely different. He can make out hints of hazelnut and caramel in the coffee.

"Thanks. I took the liberty of changing your order. You can always come back to the americano, though…" you shrug shyly, looking at him over the rim of your mug.

"I-I appreciate it. Thanks." Carmy throws you a nervous grin. He gestures with his tattooed hand to dig into the cake you brought out. He shouldn't be the only one eating.

You and Carmy share the cake as you talk about yourselves and the crazy businesses you own. Somehow, talking to you comes easy to him. He's still nervous and scared to fuck things up, but the warm coffee and your even warmer smile ease him into it.

"How do you do it? This place is always packed, and you seem like you run a tight ship," Carmy wonders, playing with the fork. The cake is long gone, although the notes of orange remain on his tongue. Would you taste the same?

"It wasn't without mistakes. I had to learn a lot from my fuck ups and listen to my team because although I'm the owner, they are the ones doing most of the work. Whenever there's a flaw, they are the first to know," you speak softly, afraid of ruining the calm ambiance you've set up, twirling the small amount of coffee left in your mug.

It's your favorite part of morning coffee. When you have just the smallest bit of coffee left, and you know you'll never drink it because it's cold, but it gives you an excuse to remain where you are.

"So, all I gotta do is listen?" It's funny you say that because Carmy listens, but his friend's voices get muddled somewhere along the way. As much as he tries to focus on them, they merge together and form a cacophony in his head.

"A lot of listening and a lot of experimentation. I've been open for two years, and it's only been in the last six months that I can confidently tell you we found our groove," you admit with a grimace.

Bee Hive is your baby, but bringing it to life was everything but easy. You messed up so many times, costing you so much money. You didn't know shit about owning a business or building one from the ground up. Doing research and putting your pride aside to ask for help got you through it.

"I've only been doing this for, like, less than a fuckin' year, and I already want to pull my hair out," Carmy admits with a pitiful laugh.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you it gets better soon," you say apologetically, reaching for his hand that rests on the table.

Carmy freezes, glancing at your hand on top of his. He hasn't got a clue what to fucking do with the display of affection. Was it a display of affection? He doesn't fucking know. "It's, uh, it's, uh, it's alright. As-as long as you give me coffee, I think I can make it through," Carmen furrows his eyebrows as he stutters through the sentence.

"I can't wait to see what the award-winning chef does," you say, bringing your hand back to your lap, none the wiser to Carmy's internal struggle.

He should've done something to keep your hand on his. Place his other hand on yours or fucking turn his hand around to grasp it. He liked feeling your warm skin on his. It hasn't been a minute since you pulled away, and he's craving it already. It's ridiculous. Is he really that touch-starved that he's seeking affection from a near stranger?

He coughs and darts his eyes between the wooden table top and you, "Fuck. You-you know about that?"

"I might've done some research after finding out you're opening the restaurant. I got curious. I'm sorry." Apologizing is your default thing to do. Messing things up is your area of expertise. You really didn't think he'd mind you mentioning it.

"No, no, no, uh, you don't have to apologize. You just caught me off guard," Carmy shakes his head, reassuring both of you.

"Okay, good," you lightly smile at him, averting your eyes when your gazes meet.

If there's a time for you to make a move, it's now. Taking a shaky breath, you speak up, "I was wondering if you'd ever like to-."

A loud knock on the glass door interrupts you. You and Carmy jump and look towards the source of the noise. It's one of your regular clients, waving at you to open up. Looking at your watch, you see it's 6:30 already.

"Shit. I'm-I'm sorry I took so much of your time," Carmy apologizes, picking up his mug and the plate to put away.

You grab his wrist to make him stop in his tracks, "Relax. I enjoyed talking to you. Maybe we can do it again soon?"

Carmy nods wide-eyed. He likes the idea just as much as you do. You take away the mug and plate with a soft 'okay.' He then follows you to the door as you unlock it and turn the sign to 'open.'

"I, um, gotta go work on the menu. I'll probably be back later for another coffee?" Carmen asks you as if he's asking for permission, which you find adorable.

"I'll be behind the register," you say, watching him walk away. He turns his head back for a moment, and you catch the smile gracing his lips as yours turns to mimic him.

"Oh, he's cute," your customer, an older lady, says, watching him go along with you. "It's about time you got a boyfriend."

"Mrs. O'Hara, here for your tea?" You ask her, ignoring the comment about your love life. That woman will set you up with anyone. She does love her tea, though, and expects you to provide it on time.

It's slow, but Carmen warms up to you. Instead of grabbing his coffee to go, he now drinks it at the café, coincidentally around the same time you take your break.

He's been hesitantly opening up. It's not like he's telling you about how fucked up his family is or how his brother committed suicide. More often, it's about the restaurant and his work as a chef, the struggles of getting every permit they need on a tight schedule since they are supposed to open in about four weeks now, or the occasional childhood memory. It's everything you need to know at this stage.

You love listening to Carmy talk, even if you have to coax it out of him sometimes. He's passionate about the restaurant despite all the stress that comes from it, and he adores the people he works with. He's shy but not in a dorky way because he's actually fascinating. Before meeting him, you never knew that collecting denim was a thing.

The smell of cigarettes that clings to him is also tightly laced with his character. When you step outside to get some sun and the scent of someone smoking hits you, your heart instantly speeds up, hoping it's him coming for his daily americano, or to come swoop you away into a sunset.

"-I fell on my ass in the middle of the street. I was freaking out, thinking I was gonna get run over by a car," you exclaim as you tell Carmy about the crazy Christmas you spent in New York last year.

"It's New York. You probably would have been run over," Carmy chuckles along with you. "There was this one time I was running late and-" His phone vibrating interrupts him.

"Sorry, it's just the fridge guy," he tells you with a furrow of his eyebrows. You notice he does that a lot when he's thinking deeply. Carmy silences it and looks back over to you.

"You should pick that up. A busted fridge is the last thing you need. Trust me. Been there, done that." You encourage him to take the call. The restaurant is more important than your story about how you bruised your coccyx in New York.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Carm! Call him back before you forget," you insist, grabbing his empty cup to trash it. You don't give him any other option, leaving him there to help your employees with a faulty machine.

He watches you closely, closer than ever before. He allows himself to watch how you frown at the machine and how your ringed fingers fumble with the knobs. His eyes keep trailing down involuntarily, and they take in how nicely your jeans hug your ass.

He goes into a spiral into these old pair of Levi jeans popular in the 90s and how they would fit nicely with the shape of your hips and legs. Carmy continues on the tangent, imagining himself peeling them off your body.

The phone vibrating in his hand snaps him out of it. Clearing his throat, he picks up the phone and walks outside. He waves at you through the window as he makes his way back to The Bear. Your frustration at the machine vanishes momentarily as you wave back, except the machine splatters, forcing you to redirect your attention. When you look outside again, he's gone.

Stakes are high at The Bear. There's less than four weeks until Friends and Family, and there is much to do. Marcus has returned from Copenhagen and is working on the desserts. Tina is doing her job as the new sous chef. Fak and Sweeps are helping out wherever they can. And Richie is being Richie, trying to be open but resisting change.

"I need coffee or a pop. Anything with caffeine," Sydney says, throwing her head back. She and Carmen have been working on the chaos menu for hours, and she keeps messing up. Carmy insists that it's okay that they'll adjust and get it right soon, but she's beginning to lose hope.

"Me too. I'd kill for an espresso," Natalie agrees, softly rubbing her hand over her growing bump.

"I thought you couldn't have caffeine cause of the baby," Richie mentions, remembering Tiff's time while pregnant.

"I don't need you to fuckin' tell me what I can or can't eat, Richie," Natalie yells, glaring at him. Although he's right, the doctor told her to limit her caffeine intake. Hard to do when she's up all night thinking about everything she needs to do for The Bear.

"Shit. I'm sorry for fucking caring," Richie screams back, lifting his hands up in defense.

"I can go to the coffee place down the block. Get everyone something," Carmy pipes up, looking forward to seeing you today.

Natalie is quick to shoot that idea down, "You can't. The fridge guy is coming in 20 minutes."

"Fuck, that's right," Carmy groans, digging his head in his hands. His fingers rake through his hair, messing up his curls. He wanted to see you and talk to you, even if it was for five short minutes.

"I'll go," Sydney sighs. She needs to leave the kitchen for more than five minutes, or she'll go crazy, "Just tell me what you guys want to order."

Natalie grumbles about getting decaf, Richie orders a plain black coffee, and Carmy asks for his americano. As Sydney leaves to ask Marcus, Carmy yells after her, "Please, go to Bee Hive. If you get Starbucks, I'm gonna fucking lose it."

Richie and Natalie exchange a look. Richie because he's confused, and Natalie because she knows something is happening with Carmy. He's never been picky over coffee. In fact, they have an old coffee machine in the office that now goes unused because he's always at that coffee shop.

"Sorry, I didn't get the fuckin' memo. Since when is Starbucks bad?" Richie frowns, looking to get a rise out of Carmy.

"I don't think it's about the coffee, cousin," Natalie responds, directing her gaze towards her brother, who is hunched over the counters, chopping vegetables.

"If it's not about the coffee, what is it about?" Richie questions, crossing his arms.

"Shut the fuck up, Sugar," Carmy grumbles, looking at his sister with a glare. He already knows where she's going. She tried to bring it up a couple of days ago after she walked by the coffee shop and saw him being friendly with you.

Natalie smiles and responds, "Carmy has a crush on the barista."

"That's ridiculous. I don't have a crush on her." Carmy shakes his head, avoiding Richie and Natalie's eyes on him. They always do this. They gang up on him if he shows even the slightest interest in a girl. They think they can help, but all they do is embarrass him.

"Come on, Bear. Why else would you go almost every day to get coffee?" Natalie asks, giving him a look.

"Because it's good fuckin' coffee. Jesus, it's not that deep." Carmy grabs the veggies he chopped and drops them into a container to use later.

"It's okay to admit you like a pretty girl, cousin! I'm excited for you! Makes you human and not a lonely hermit," Richie jokes, pushing on Carmy's buttons. "When was the last time you got laid?"

"I swear to God, Richie. Shut the fuck up," Carmy points at him angrily.

"No, I should go with Sydney and see who this girl is!" Richie says, walking out of the half-built kitchen.

Carmy follows him instantly, "You're not going fuckin' anywhere, fuckin' jagoff." He's turning red from anger, seeing Richie with his mocking smile. Natalie follows behind them, amused at the situation. It reminds her of the banters they used to get in with Mickey.

"Admit that you like her," Richie shrugs, giving him a choice.

"No, I won't," Carmy refuses. "You always do this shit."

"Then, I'm going," Richie nods, stepping towards the door.

"Fuck! Shit, alright. I like her, okay? Don't fucking go anywhere," Carmy yells, rubbing a hand on his face out of frustration. It's like he's not allowed to keep anything good to himself.

"Was that so hard?" Richie grins, clapping a hand on Carmy's shoulder.

"Don't fuckin' touch me," Carmy grumbles, walking back to the kitchen. Natalie follows him with a smile, shaking her head at Richie.

Carmy sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. He has yet to admit that he likes you more than he should. He's been avoiding it, afraid of what it might lead to, or rather, what it might not.

He couldn't let Richie go see you. He has a big fuckin' mouth and will tell you Carmy has a crush on you whether it's true or not. Just like that, he feels the sour taste in his mouth, his heartburn making an appearance. Carmy should go look for his pepto before it gets worse.

Unaware of the argument back at The Bear, Sydney walks to Bee Hive. She's walked past many times but has yet to have the time to stop and try it out.

As she waits in line, she reads over the drinks menu. It's clear that it's been carefully curated. Starbucks has nothing on this menu. She can see why Carmy would prefer to come here instead.

When it's her turn to order, Sydney takes out her phone to recite everyone's drink order. She also points to a few pastries, thinking Marcus would like to try some of them and get inspiration. That and she knows Natalie will enjoy them as well.

You're sitting at a table close to the pickup counter. You often find yourself all over the store, ensuring everything goes smoothly. Sometimes, you stop to talk to your regulars and see how they're doing.

You notice Sydney struggling with all the cups she has to carry. It's proving difficult despite the to-go trays your barista put them in. Deciding to approach her, you ask, "Do you need help?"

"Oh, no. I'm fine, thanks," Sydney responds with a nervous smile. She's trying hard to grab everything, including the box with the pastries.

You continue watching her struggle because you know she needs help. You let her try and figure it out for one more minute before stepping in again when she almost drops two of the drinks, "Need some help now?"

"Yeah," Sydney sighs, "I guess I can leave one of the trays here, go to the restaurant, and come back for the rest," she speaks mostly to herself.

"Are you going far?"

"No, just the restaurant down the block," Sydney responds with a sigh, scratching her eyebrow as she tries to figure out the logistics of carrying the drinks. She could get a box to put everything in.

You perk up at her response. The only restaurant down the block is Carmen's. Could she work there? "Carmy's restaurant?"

"You know Carmy?" Sydney asks, tilting her head. Maybe Nat was right. Carmy spends his time here because of the woman in front of her.

"He comes here often. Anyway, I can go with you to help you out. It's not far, and I'd feel bad if your drinks got cold." You offer to help her out because you're a nice person. Not because you want a chance to see the curly-haired man you are developing feelings for.

"You really don't have to…"

"It's really not a problem," you press, grabbing one of the to-go trays and motioning for her to lead the way.

Sydney sighs in defeat and nods, "Thanks. I'm Sydney, by the way."

"I'm Honey," you smile, following her outside.

You chat all the way to the restaurant with Sydney. She reminds you of Carmy in some ways, so you can see why they are friends. Before arriving at the restaurant, Sydney apologizes in advance for any sort of mess there might be, including yelling.

As you near the building under renovation, your palms start to sweat. Maybe you shouldn't have come. You're showing up unannounced, and he's probably too busy to talk to you anyway. You can slip in and out without him noticing. That's the goal now.

You open the door for Sydney, letting her go through first, and quietly follow her into the restaurant. There's no time to escape, as all eyes are instantly on you.

Richie is arguing with Fak when he sees you walk in. He narrows his eyes as Carmy looks in your direction from the kitchen. With just one glance to Carmy's face, he knows who you're supposed to be.

"Guess I didn't have to go anywhere. She came to me," Richie whispers, rushing out the door.

"Shut the fuck up. Where are you going? Don't embarrass me!" Carmy whispers out to Richie unsuccessfully.

"Oh, you'll do that all by yourself," Richie throws over his shoulder.

"Honey, hey, what-what're you doing here?" Carmy speaks, not giving Richie a chance to open his big mouth. He stands between you and Richie, blocking him for the time being.

"Sydney needed help with the drinks," you answer nervously, averting your eyes.

"Oh, thanks for that. You didn't have to," Carmy approaches you and takes the drinks from your hands. His fingers brush with yours momentarily, causing you both to blush.

"I did, or else you probably wouldn't have anything to drink," you whisper to him.

Sydney, Fak, and Richie all watch the interaction amusedly. Richie has a big teasing grin on his face as he makes a plan in his head.

"Hi, I'm Richie! Carmy's cousin," he introduces himself, shoving Carmy to the side and shaking your hand enthusiastically. "I gotta say Carmen right here is obsessed with your coffee. He's banned us from getting Starbucks."

Carmy curses under his breath as Richie does precisely what he tells him not to. He has the urge to throw the coffee at him and run away.

"Is that right?" You ask, amused, looking over at Carmy with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh yeah," Richie answers for him as Carmy tries to find the right words to say. "Cousin, why don't you give the nice lady a tour of the place?"

"It's not done yet. Could be dangerous," Carmy hopelessly says with a gulp.

"Nonsense! You'll take care of her!" Richie insists. He takes the coffee from Carmy's hands and pushes him in your direction. "Go give her a tour."

Richie, Sydney, and Fak all disappear to the office to stay out of the way and try to snoop simultaneously. Fak sends Carmy a not-so-discreet thumbs-up that makes you giggle.

He's internally screaming at his so-called friends but is glad to see you. It was all he wanted before Sydney left to get their drinks. It's strange having you here at The Bear, though. He's so used to seeing you in your own space back at Bee Hive.

Trying to make things better, you say, "Sorry you've been roped into this. You probably have better things to do. I can go-"

Carmy doesn't let you finish. "No, stay. I want to show you around."

"Let's see what you got then, Berzatto," you grin, following him to the kitchen.

Carmy takes his time showing you The Bear. He wants you to stay. He wants to spend time with you but doesn't really know how to say it. So he takes it slow, answers your questions about the restaurant, shows you the front and how everything will be laid out, and introduces you to the ones around, including the fridge guy working on the handle.

Sadly, you get a call from Bee Hive asking you to come back. Carmy walks you outside, dreading having to say goodbye.

"I'm really excited for The Bear to open. You have a great place and team," you tell Carmy.

"I really got lucky with them, huh?" He asks, playing with a dish towel.

"I gotta go. I'll see you later, Berzatto." You don't know where you got the guts to lean towards him and kiss his cheek.

Carmy stays still as his face heats up. You start walking away and throw him a smile over your shoulder. When you're a distance away, he touches the cheek you kissed. Back inside, Richie runs over to Sugar to tell her what he just witnessed.

It's late when Carmy leaves The Bear. As he walks to the train station, he has his hands stuffed in his jacket pocket. On his way, he sees a lone light turned on in your café. Crossing the street to check it out, he sees you're still there with glasses perched on your nose in front of the computer.

He tries the door, and to his luck, it's open. You look in his direction, startled, but relax once you see it's him.

"Nice glasses," Carmy teases, pulling out a chair to sit.

"Are you making fun of me?" You purse your lips, propping your chin on your palm.

"No, I…I think you look cute with them," Carmy admits. After a stern talk from Sugar and Richie, he's realized he should probably make a proper move on you because if what they say is true, you also have a crush on him.

"Thanks," you blush, the light from your screen making it obvious to Carmy, who can't stop the corners of his lips from turning up into a smile.

"Late night?"

"One of my baristas is moving out of state. I have to find someone new, preferably who has experience," you say with a sigh. Glancing at him, you add, "Are you perhaps interested in the position?"

"Poaching me from my own restaurant, nice. I'll let you know I'm an excellent worker," Carmy jokes, tapping his fingers on the table.

There's no doubt in your mind he's an excellent worker. He has to be if he's considered one of the best up-and-coming chefs. Or to work in one of the best restaurants in the world with three Michelin stars.

"I don't know. I'll need references," you speak as if not believing him.

Carmy smiles and softly chuckles, "Fair enough."

There's a moment of silence between the two of you that Carmy is quick to fill, "So, uh, have you had dinner yet by chance?" This is it.

You shake your head no and look at him with hopeful eyes.

"Wanna go grab pizza? I know a place," he asks, finding your gaze on him.

"Say no more," you say, closing your laptop and taking off your glasses. "I'm starving."

Carmy waits for you to lock Bee Hive and grab your things. Then, you both walk to the pizza place. To pass the time, you and Carmy talk about your days and anything that comes to mind. Nothing serious as you get to know each other.

Waiting in line to order the pizza, you tell him all about your nickname and how you were donned 'Honey' to everyone who knows you. In return, he tells you about his nickname 'Bear' and why his restaurant is named as such. For the first time, he dares mention Mickey.

"Best pizza in Chicago," Carmy says, taking a slice of the pie and placing it on your plate.

"I'll see about that," you murmur. You wait until he has a slice of his own and dig in simultaneously.

"It's good, but this is not the best pizza place in Chicago," you say after chewing the first bite, "I'm gonna get your chef license revoked."

"Are you? With what proof? Have you tried all the pizza places to know?"

"I don't have to because I've tried the best," you hum, taking another bite. The cheese stretches as you pull it away.

"Oh yeah? Which one?" Carmy questions you, taking a drink of his beer.

"Mine. The pizza I make is the best," you shrug modestly.

"Wait. You cook?" Carmy asks, giving you a look of surprise.

Cooking is a universal thing. Most people know how to cook up to a degree, yet only some are as confident in their skills as you are. You know you're definitely not up to Carmy's level, but if there is something you know how to do properly, it's pizza.

"Yeah! You're not the only good cook here, Berzatto," you sass back at him, dipping the pizza crust in the marinara sauce.

"Sorry for assuming," he raises his palms.

"You're forgiven," you chirp.

"When will I try this famous pizza of yours then?" Carmy wonders. An attempt to see if you'd like to see more of him.

"I promise I'll make it for you once you open The Bear. You're too stressed to fully enjoy it now," you respond. You were reaching out. Throwing hints that you want this to continue in the foreseeable future.

The conversation continues to flow with an empty pizza box in front of you. Customers come and go until it's only the two of you and a drunk customer picking up his pizza.

"Tell me about your tattoos. Were they an act of rebellion or something else?"

It's an excuse to touch his hands. You reach for them, turning them to see the black ink on his hands and fingers. You gently trace over them with the pads of your fingers. Over the hand that's stabbed, the letters S.O.U. on his knuckles and the forget-me-nots. The one you're dying to touch, though, is the one on his bicep; you'd give anything to feel the hard muscle underneath the rolled-up sleeves of his white t-shirt.

"Uh, my first tattoo is the 773. Got it when I left Chicago for the first time. After that, I sort of became addicted to them. I found they helped my anxiety when it was becoming too much. The pain distracted me and made me feel stronger than I actually was," he says, letting you touch him. He finds that he likes it. Your touch is soft and warm. Comforting.

"So what you're trying to say is you're a masochist," you say, bouncing your eyebrows at him. Your touch goes further up his arm to turn it and look at the fish tattoo on his forearm.

"I guess so," Carmy responds with a breathy laugh, "Do you have any tattoos?"

"Maybe…" You shrug as the pads of your fingers trail back down to his palm until you pull them back towards you. Carmy instantly misses the feeling, opting to cross his arms to retain the warmth you left behind.

"It's bad, isn't it?" He says knowingly. Your reaction told him everything he needed to know.

"The worst," you grimace, shaking your head at the memory of you getting it.

"So, rebellion or something else?"

"Rebellion. For all the wrong reasons," you groan, burying your face in your hands, "Growing up, everyone saw me as a good girl because that's what I was. Breaking the rules terrified me. So, as a teenager, I didn't want to be seen as a goody two shoes, so the summer before I went to college, I decided that getting a tattoo would make me a badass."

"Did it work?"

"God, no. I only got the outline done 'cause it hurt like a bitch. Then I went crying to my parents, fully having a meltdown, apologizing for disappointing them," You scrunch your nose as you say the following words, "They laughed in my face, called me a wimp, and told me to suck it up."

Carmy fully laughs at your story. Head thrown back, eyes closing, "What did you get?"

"That's a secret, Berzatto," you purse your lips, avoiding responding. You just know he'll make fun of you for it.

Everyone who has seen your tattoo has made fun of you for it, yourself included. It's so silly and not badass. Carmy will have to wait to see your tattoo, and you hope this continues so he can see it up close.

"Really? That bad?" Carmy stares wide-eyed.

"It's terrible," you nod, leaning on the table. "We should probably get going before the waitress throws a fit."

Carmy looks over his shoulder to see the waitress glaring at them. It's five minutes till close, and they've made no move to go. He turns back to you and nods towards the door. Carmy helps you with your jacket and leaves a tip on the jar for the waitress. At that, she happily calls after them with a 'Good night!'

"Do you live far?" Carmy asks, seeing how dark it is now that most places have closed. There are too many lamp posts that aren't working. He'd feel better if he could walk you home or you called an Uber. Preferably the former.

"Only a couple of blocks away. Why?"

"It's late. Let me walk you home," Carmy says decidedly, not giving you much of a choice.

"Thanks," you respond with a small smile.

The pace you set is slow. You don't want your time with Carmy to end just yet. He's such an interesting and sweet guy. He's a little awkward, but it adds to his charm, and you can see he's trying.

Somewhere along the way, his hand brushes against yours briefly. Then, it happens again, and you decide to bite the bullet. You grasp his hand in yours.

"Is this okay?" You ask when he falls silent.

Carmy doesn't have a lot of experience with girls. He can't even remember the last time he held a girl's hand. All he knows is he doesn't remember ever feeling this good. "Yes, uh, this is okay."

Carmy walks you up to your front door when you reach your house. You unlock the door but stay outside face-to-face with Carmy.

"Thanks for the pizza," you say, fiddling with your fingers. You were about to make one more move for the night. Because as long as Carmy allows you, you'll keep pushing for more.

"Sorry, it wasn't the best," he retorts, rubbing his jaw with his hand. You notice he does that a lot when nervous.

"Your company made up for it," you reassure him, "g'night Carmy." You kiss his cheek goodbye, watching as his cheeks blush.

"Night," he whispers.

As you turn to leave, Carmy stops you by grabbing your wrist, "Wait-uh, can I? Uh-shit. Fuck it." For a second, Carmy shuts out the excessive thoughts in his head and does what he's been dying to do for weeks.

Carmy cups your jaw and kisses you. It's soft and slow. He gives you enough leeway to pull away if it's something you don't want, but you reciprocate eagerly. You've been waiting for this all night.

As confidence surges through his body, Carmy throws an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. You wrap your arms around him, one of your hands resting on his neck, tangling on his curls. The tug of your fingers feels like heaven.

The kiss turns needy and desperate, your lips moving perfectly in sync. His tongue brushes over your lip; Carmy has been dying to test a theory. Are you as sweet as your name?

He's rewarded by a little noise in the back of your throat as he slips his tongue into your mouth. It's endearing, and he finds a way to make you do it again. With heads tilting to deepen the kiss, he concludes he was right. You're pure honey. Sweet and addicting.

When Carmy returns to his apartment, he gets the urge to create, to cook. He wants to bring your taste to life with his cooking. Something with honey.

"I was wondering if you'd want to come to the restaurant for Family and Friends."

You and Carmy are in your little office at Bee Hive. He stands between your legs as you sit on the desk. His lips are slightly red and swollen, and the hair at the nape of his neck is messier than usual.

"Hm, I could be persuaded," you pretend to think as you play with the golden chain around his neck, pulling him towards you.

"Yeah?" Carmy laughs, leaning to brush his lips against yours. When he feels you nod, he closes the small gap between the two of you.

His hands hold your hips, pulling you impossibly closer. He tastes like coffee, which is to be expected from the discarded cup beside you. It's funny how your relationship, if it could be called that, has moved all around Bee Hive from the register to the front and now to your office.

You're at a weird spot where you're not exactly friends because friends don't kiss, but you're not a couple either. It's a situationship for sure. You're content with what you have now, although you'd also love it if Carmy were to ask you to be more. You pin it on him being shy. He'll get around to it.

"What do you say?" Carmy questions as he kisses a trail from your cheek to your jaw.

"Consider me in," you giggle when he kisses a tickly spot.

Carmy brushes a strand of hair out of your face, remaining close to you. This is what he needs. After months of stress and anxiety of having to deal with The Beef, now The Bear, he needed you and your calming presence. Someone removed from the chaos, a safe haven.

He's quiet as his thoughts consume him, and you take the intimate position to fix his gold chain. Turning it so the clasp faces the back instead of the front. "I'm excited, Carmy," you say with a smile, brushing his cheek with your thumb.

"You can bring someone with you," Carmy offers nervously because he realizes he probably won't have the time to spend much time with you. "I-I don't think I'll be around much. I'm sorry. I'd understand if that makes you change your mind," Carmy drops his head as he braces himself for disappointment.

As the weeks pass, you learn more about Carmy and his insecurities. It doesn't deter you from wanting to be with him. Everyone has their issues. "Berzatto, stop. Look at me," you softly divert his attention, "I'd love to go and support you even if it's from the sidelines."

"You sure?" He asks once more.

If reassurance is what he needs, that's what you'll give. "Don't worry about me. This is your moment, Carmy. Enjoy it. I'll be around afterward."

"Thank you for understanding," Carmy responds, stealing one more kiss from you.

When he returns to The Bear, he helps Sydney prep the dishes they finally chose to serve. He notes how everything is laid out and anything they should fix before opening.

Richie struts into the kitchen with a suit on. Apparently, it's his thing now. Carmy figures staging at Chef Terry's restaurant had a good impact on him. All Carmy wanted was to show Richie he had what it takes. That he's not a fuck up.

"Glad to see things are going well with Honey," Richie thunders.

"What are you talking about?" Carmy says in a rush as he plates the lamb expertly.

"That thing on your neck," Richie says, motioning to his own neck. He has a smug look on his face.

"I don't have time for this, cousin," Carmy grumbles, wiping the plate where the sauce might've splattered.

Groaning, Richie grabs one of the new pans and holds it in front of Carmy. "I don't see anything," he frowns, looking at Richie for an explanation.

"Right here," Richie points towards the edge of his t-shirt around his neck.

Carmy pulls it back and finally spots what Richie has been referring to. There is a fading purple bruise on his skin, a hickey. You must've done it when he was back in your office. He'd been too busy touching you to notice.

Sydney, silently watching, pipes up, "No wonder he hasn't been as on edge lately." Carmy shoots her a glare, which causes her to shrug and laugh with a, "What? It's true."

"Ay, yo, Sugar, get in here!" Richie yells down the hall to the office.

"What is it?" Natalie barges in, afraid something went to shit.

Carmy ignores Richie as he babbles to Natalie what he found. His face is red, though, as Sydney nudges his side.

"That's enough about me. We have shit to do," Carmy shouts in his chef's voice.

Everyone in the kitchen, including Richie and Natalie, repeats, "Yes, chef!"

Walking out of the kitchen Richie, 'whispers' to Natalie, "I've always wondered if he likes to be called chef in bed."

"Fuck off, Richie," Natalie glares, but then it falls, and it's replaced with a teasing grin, "He definitely does."

"I heard that! Don't you two have better things to do?" Carmy screams at them.

"Yes, chef!"

Carmy keeps hearing Cicero's 'Uh-oh' throughout the whole day. He understands Cicero, he really does, but to call you a distraction?

His work with The Bear is only starting. They managed to make it to Friends and Family. Now, they have to keep up their best work to fill up the restaurant daily and have a waiting list. His work is far from done. He should listen to Cicero.

Cicero said it with the best of intentions. He doesn't want the Berzatto siblings to fail. He wants to believe they'll succeed and, most importantly, get him his money.

If there is something Cicero has learned throughout the years, it is that girls are distractions. They mean well, but oftentimes, they keep your eyes off the ball. Especially when it's a new relationship like Carmy's. Ultimately, it's up to Carmy to decide what he wants to do. Cicero has played his part by giving him his advice.

One last delivery is made to the restaurant an hour before opening. Richie is the one to receive it and place it in front of Carmy. "She's a keeper, Cousin," he says with a pointed look and a nod. He also wants the best for Carmy, and yet it doesn't align with Cicero.

You knew Carmy would be too stressed and all over the place to eat or drink, so you sent everyone at The Bear a drink and a pastry. One of the cups has Carmen's name with a little heart and 'good luck' written on it.

"Yeah, she is," Carmy sighs, turning the cup in his hands to look at the message. His thumb brushes over your handwriting longingly. Is listening to Cicero the wise thing to do? He's one of the most successful men he knows in his family.

When it's 10 minutes till open, Carmy changes into his uniform and looks in the mirror. His heart is racing, begging for Friends and Family not to be a complete failure. Walking out of the bathroom, Carmy is a man on a mission.

It starts relatively well, but like everything in Carmy's life, the kitchen starts welcoming in the chaos.

They are too slow getting the orders out, which causes Sydney to start doubting herself and asking Carmy to step in. He reassures her she's doing good. They just have to keep up the pace.

Then, one of the new chefs disappears mid-rush. Forcing Tina to work two stations and Marcus to step out of his to help Sydney. Carmy ignores some weird tension between them as he works on ensuring the dishes are good to go.

Next thing he knows, Sugar is rushing into the kitchen, yelling at him about forks. It's wasted time, as he can't do anything about it. A shrill reverberates inside his head as he looks at the ticking clock. It's enough to give him a headache.

With no one to take a dish to its table, Carmy takes it upon himself to do it. There's no time to re-fire or wait for someone. He places it on their table and pours the tea into their cups before retreating with an 'enjoy.'

He looks at his restaurant, and suddenly, the ringing in his head gets louder. Sitting in a booth is his old boss, staring back at him like he did back in New York. Like he was waiting for Carmy to fail.

His voice echoes in Carmy's head. Why are you so fuckin' slow. Hurry up. Go faster motherfucker. Talentless piece of shit.

Right before Carmy spirals, it all goes away. His focus shifts entirely as he sees you taking your seat for the night. The one he chose because he'd be able to see you from the kitchen. You have successfully blocked the mirage he'd conjured up.

You're there with your brother as Richie talks you up, thanking you for coming. As if sensing him, your eyes lock with Carmys. Shyly, you send him a wave, which he returns, thanking you in his head for getting there at the perfect time.

Carmy ducks back to the kitchen with newfound energy. Richie enters shortly after him.

"Chef, your girl is here."

"Thanks, Chef, um, do you have the notepad?" Carmy asks as he continues cleaning dishes and making sure each one is up to par.

"Here you go."

Taking the notepad from Richie, he begins scribbling. I love- No, too fuckin' soon. Thank you for- Nope, it's too stale.

I'm happy you're here, Honey. Wait for me after you're done? -Bear

"Here," Carmy hands it to him without even looking at Richie.

"Keep up the good work, Chefs," Richie yells out to the room before disappearing to the front of the house. The door swinging shut behind him.

"Yes, Chef!"

Something isn't working in the kitchen. They're too backed up, and no matter how hard they try, they're always a tad too slow. Through Sydney surrounding the wheel to Richie, Carmy steals glances out the kitchen window. You're smiling at whatever your brother says, your lips sipping the wine he chose. Carmy can get through this night because, in the end, you'll be waiting for him.

"There he is," you sing as you spot Carmy walking out of the kitchen. The chef's whites back in his locker as he sports his white t-shirt, jeans, and jacket.

Fak, who kept you company while Carmy finished up, speaks up next, "My brother, I'm gonna grab a sandwich and head home. Honey, it was a pleasure meeting you."

"You too, Neil!"

"Thanks for everything," Carmy tells him, giving him a hug and a pat like dudes do.

Carmy turns and grabs your hand to pull you close and kiss your cheek. "What did you think?"

"It was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted," you tell him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

There's a reason Carmy has had so many accolades despite his young age. He has a gift in the kitchen. The moment his food touched your taste buds, your life changed. He and Sydney outdid themselves, and the way everything flowed showed how much work they put into the restaurant.

"You're exaggerating," Carmy modestly says, his arms wrapping around your waist.

"I'm really not," you shake your head, pursing your lips. Carmy can't resist placing a small peck on your red-painted lips.

"What about your famous pizza?"

"No, it might be the best pizza in Chicago, but whatever I ate today topped it," you smile at him, scrunching your nose. "Consider your chef's license reinstated,"

"Thanks," Carmy laughs breathily, "Do you mind if we walk? I feel some of the rush still."

"Lead the way, Mr. Berzatto."

Carmy grabs your hand, leading you to the streets of Chicago. It's silent momentarily as the wind cools Carmy's heated face. He places his hand along with yours into his pocket.

"Did your brother like it?" He asks, breaking the ice.

"Oh yeah. I'm officially like the best sister ever," you respond, squeezing his hand.

You had accidentally forgotten that your brother had passed the Bar exam. So, you didn't have time to get him anything in celebration. You figured dinner at a lovely new restaurant would help while you got him a proper present.

"How did you feel throughout, though? It looked intense." You often found yourself looking through the small glass window into the kitchen. They were always on the move, looking for the next thing to do.

"It didn't just look like it. I'm used to it, though," Carmy admits with a sniff. Everyone's best and worst habits shone through for those couple of hours. It's an environment he's all too familiar with, in and out of the kitchen.

"That rough," you grimace.

"It's fine. We have a lot to work on, but it's a start, and it wasn't entirely terrible," Carmy says, thinking back on tonight. Before coming out to meet you, he wrote down a couple of things to go through with Sugar and Sydney.

"Good, 'cause I hope The Bear sticks around the block," you say, bumping your shoulder with his.

You invite Carmy into your house when you arrive. He takes up your offer, holding your hand to help you balance as you take your heels off. It reminds Carmy he forgot to mention how beautiful you looked today.

He follows you to the kitchen, watching your hips sway and your dress skirt swishing. Padding to the wine fridge, you pick out a bottle of red to celebrate.

Carmy indulges in looking at your legs as you stretch up to reach for the glasses of wine up in your cabinets. His blue eyes darken as your dress hikes up, exposing your pretty thighs.

His gaze darts back up at you when you turn around to place the glasses on the kitchen counter. You hand him the wine opener so he can do the honors because you suck at taking the cork out. It's why you mainly stick to cheaper wines with twist-off caps.

"Here is to The Bear and its amazing owner," you say, lifting your glass in front of you.

"Here's to not fuckin' it up entirely," Carmy follows, making you giggle. Your wine glasses clink, and you take a drink.

Placing the glass back down, Carmy pins you against the counter, his strong hands resting on the edge of it. You look at him through your lashes, a hand coming up to his chest to feel the steady thumping of his heart.

"You look beautiful. I like the dress," Carmy murmurs. It's better late than never.

The dress you wear is a pretty shade of light blue. Simple yet dressy. The neckline gives him a good view of your cleavage and has long sleeves to compensate for the shorter length. They currently cover the goosebumps lining your skin.

"Yeah? I picked it out thinking you might," you reveal, biting your lip. The shade reminded you of his eyes.

"You were right," he whispers, cupping your jaw. As pretty as the dress is, he's sure it'll look so much better on the floor.

Carmy closes his eyes as he leans down to kiss you. He's always struggled with words, so he hopes it's enough for you to catch what he's trying to say.

You smile into the kiss, blindly leaving your glass to the side to be able to touch him. Your palm presses against his chest and taut abdomen. He hides a nice amount of muscle under his t-shirts, a pleasant surprise.

Carmy easily lifts you up to sit down on the kitchen island. He steps between your legs, never breaking the heated kiss. The hands on your waist trail down to your thighs and under your dress. Carmy's tattooed hands squeeze your ass and thighs, earning him a moan from you.

This is the farthest you've ever gotten, and you're more than ready to have all of him. Carmy knows this, which leads to his thoughts getting out of control.

He has to make a decision now. Does he allow himself to be with you, or does he remain by himself like always? Richie's, Sugar's, Cicero's, and Sydney's voices all shout at him different things. Some are in favor, and others are in opposition. 'Uh oh.'

He can't lead you on and sleep with you if he will back out tomorrow. The voices become deafening in an instant, ripping him away from your embrace. His emotions bubbled over and spilled all over the place.

"Wait, stop, I just-" Carmy breathes heavily, taking a couple of steps back from you. Carmy's hand comes up to his forehead as he attempts to organize his thoughts.

"What's wrong?" You ask worriedly. Did you do something wrong?

Carmen's thoughts spill out his mouth without making much sense as he paces in your kitchen. "I can't stop thinking about it and owe it to my team..."

"Carm?" You slide off the kitchen counter, approaching him slowly.

"-keeps saying it's a distraction," he rambles mostly to himself. His heart is pounding painfully in his chest. If he didn't know any better, he'd think he was having a heart attack.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's a distraction?" Softly, you grab onto his arms, stopping him in his tracks, trying to find his lost gaze.

"You. Whatever this is," Carmy breathes, finally meeting your eyes, which he instantly regrets as your eyes turn sad.

The watering of your eyes is unintentional, as is the knot forming in your throat. "You think I'm distracting you?" You question barely above a whisper.

His response is instant, "Fuck, no, the opposite. W-When I'm with you or-or think about you, things get clearer, and it's-it's when I feel the most focused." Carmy holds your shoulders, comforting you because he never meant to hurt you. He can't stand the sad look in your eyes.

Slowly, you begin to piece together his rambling and conclude that other people have been telling him you're a distraction. You wonder if they don't want him to be happy. The Bear is the center of Carmy's life, and before that, it was the restaurant in New York. He deserves more than this crazy job.

"Then fuck what others tell you, Carmen. You deserve to have a life outside The Bear." Maybe you're selfish because you don't want to lose him, but you hope he believes your words.

"I-I don't. I don't deserve all your attention or your affection. I'm nothing special. I don't deserve you." Carmy says, shaking his head with furrowed brows.

Weeks ago, he had no source of enjoyment. He said it himself at the support group. Now, he has you, yet he can't bear the thought of you wanting to be with him. He feels like he's tricking you into a bad deal. That's what he is, though, isn't he? An overachieving fuck up with tons upon tons of baggage.

Carmen Berzatto is an anxious person with too many problems in his life. He has a fucked up family. His mother is a mentally unstable alcoholic. His brother was addicted to painkillers and decided that shooting himself on a bridge was better than living this life. That's without mentioning all the trauma he has from his job and the terrible people he's worked with.

What good does he have to offer you?

"Yes, you do," you reassure him, placing your hands on his cheeks. The cool metal of your rings soothes him somewhat, grounding him. "You deserve all that and more, Carmy. You're so sweet and kind and hard-working. You've been through shit. You deserve something good in life. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's not, but don't close yourself off."

You're begging at this point. Whatever this relationship is, it's just starting. He's not giving himself a chance. You like Carmy so damn much. He's funny without knowing it and thoughtful, too. There are so many qualities he doesn't realize he has.

His eyes watch you as tears line them. He's silently pleading for you to convince him. To get him out of his own head and forget the expectations others have on him.

"I'm not going to force you into anything, Carm. It's your call, but I've enjoyed our last couple of months together. I know we don't know each other completely, but I want to know everything about you. I have feelings for you, so whatever you decide, I'll support it."

Being honest is all you can do at this point. You pour your heart out and hope Carmy chooses you.

You and Carmy stand in the middle of your kitchen. Face to face, reaching out towards each other. It's clear as day that you want the same thing. It's only a matter of taking the right steps now.

"I can't let you go," Carmy responds, grabbing the hand on his cheek. His thumb brushes over the back of it.

"Then don't."

Carmy's decision is made. Without another thought, he smashes his lips against yours. He grabs the back of your neck, tilting your head to meet his heated kiss.

It's more intense now that the cards are on the table. Nothing to hold him back.

Tongues clash together as your bodies seek each other out. The temperature rises when Carmy lifts you up to wrap your legs around his hips. His hands are on the back of your thighs, holding tight onto you.

"Bedroom?" He asks, breaking the kiss, a trail of saliva between the two of you.

"Down the hallway," you breathe heavily, kissing down his neck.

Carmy makes it to the bedroom, opening the door with a bang. He spots your bed, placing you in the middle with him holding himself up on top of you.

He watches as your back meets the bed and your fair fans around you like a halo. The curvature of your breasts accentuated even more from the position.

Carmy hikes your leg further up his hips as he dips down to kiss a wet trail down to the neckline of your dress. He leaves open-mouthed kisses on the rounded flesh, nipping at the skin playfully when you arch your back to push more into him.

"Carmy," you breathe, cupping his jaw to pull him back to your lips. Grinding your hips, you manage to graze against his bulge.

"Shit," Carmy shakily curses, thrusting his hips to meet your touch once more.

Curiously, your hands wander across his body. Carmy's moans in your ear make your panties wetter than they already are.

You grasp the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off. You're desperate to have him, your cunt aches for him. Your nails scratch down his firm stomach when he bites into your earlobe, softly calling your name.

"Unzip me," you pant, pushing him away and pulling your hair off to the side.

Carmy grabs the small zipper, pushing it down and exposing your pretty skin. As he slides the fabric off of you, he kisses your shoulders and back, taking note of the goosebumps on your skin.

His mind is in the present, and nothing can take it away from him. It's like a switch he managed to turn off in his brain. No more family drama, no more The Bear. It's just you...and him. Honey and Bear.

You stretch your neck to the side, giving Carmy more space to pepper kisses across the delicate skin. The dress pooling at your feet exposes your chest, and Carmy's hands come up from behind you. His fingers shyly brush up your stomach, tickling you, until they find your breasts.

He draws a moan from you as he squeezes them in his palms, pushing you back to meet his chest; turning your head to the side, you find his lips.

The kiss breaks when he slides one of his hands into your underwear, dipping his finger to feel your wetness. Your arm reaches back to dig your fist in his curls.

"You're soaked, Honey," he moans, finding your clit to tease it.

"Been waiting for so long, Carmy," you whine as your hips stutter along with the flicks of his wrist.

"I'm sorry. I'm here now," he purrs into your ear.

Carmy can hear the distinct 'shlick, shlick, shlick' of his fingers against your clit. It spurs him on as he slips a finger into you. He can't wait to have his cock inside of you, snug and warm.

"Oh my god, Carmen," you gasp when he prods another finger into your entrance. Hanging onto his arm across your chest, you roll your hips against his fingers.

"I got you," he says, digging his fingers deeper into you and curling them.

Your knees buckle as the tips of his fingers curl and hit your g spot repeatedly. If it weren't for him, you'd be on the floor. With your tummy tensing under the weight of the pleasure, you stutter out, "I'm gonna cum."

Carmy's hand is wet from your juices as he ups the ante. Just as your walls begin to squeeze around his fingers, he pulls them out to circle around your clit.

"Oh, f-fuck!" You squeal, throwing your head back onto his shoulder.

The way your clit softly twitches under the pads of his fingers fucks with Carmy. It makes his cock throb and leak into his jeans.

Untangling from his embrace, you place a breathless kiss on Carmy's lips. His slick digits dig into your hips as he prolongs it.

Blindly, you find the edge of his jeans and unbutton them. If Carmy notices, he doesn't say anything. You want to give him one more reason to stay with you.

He moans into your mouth when you grasp his length through his boxers. He's rock hard as he desperately ruts against your hand.

With your hold still on him, you push him to sit on the bed. Carmy looks up at you lustfully. You plant a single short kiss on his lips before kneeling on the floor between his legs. You leave love bites down his chest while looking up at him through your lashes.

Carmy brushes away any hair that falls on your face, his blue eyes focused solely on you. When you reach the waistband of his pants, you pull them down along with his underwear.

His length pops up from its confines, slapping against his tummy. Its tip is a pretty pink shade, with a thick length and a slight curve to it. You salivate instantly at the sight of it.

Carmy's nervous under you. It's been a long since he's been with someone else, and he's never been the most confident.

"Relax," you say teasingly, kissing around his lower tummy to calm him.

Finally, your hand wraps around his cock, lightly pumping it. Leaving sloppy kisses down his happy trail, you feel Carmy's stomach taut in anticipation.

It's been so fuckin' long.

With your eyes staring into his hungry ones, you kiss the pink head that glistens with pre, teasingly brushing it against your lips. Keeping eye contact, you lick his length from base to tip. You alternate between kissing and licking for a minute, enjoying watching Carmy squirm.

"Fuck, Honey," Carmy throws his head back at your torturous pace.

"Look at me," you sweetly say.

Taking mercy on him, you part your lips to take his length into your warm, wet mouth, bobbing your head to a steady rhythm. Prying one of Carmy's hands from the bedsheets, you place it in your hair, encouraging him to use you.

"Good girl," he moans, fisting your hair to force you to take more of his cock. You let your hands rest on his thighs, feeling the strong muscles underneath.

Carmen observes you with hooded eyes as you hollow your cheeks, sucking him expertly. He's obsessed with how your lips leave behind a tinge of red lipstick on his skin.

"Shit-Fuck me," he yells into the room when you swallow around him.

You want him to cum, but Carmy has other plans. He doesn't think he'll last long if you make him cum now, so after the stunt you pulled, he pulls you off his sensitive cock.

The sight in front of him is erotic as a string of saliva connects you to his cock. The tears lining your eyes and blushed nose add to that pretty picture.

"c'me 'ere," he says, helping you up and kissing you as he leads you back to the bed. He tugs off your wet panties, throwing them somewhere in the room.

You lay back on your pillows with Carmy slotted between your legs. It's torture having him so close and yet so far. Now that you've gotten a taste of his cock you need more.

Carmy touches the inside of your thighs, inching his way closer to your cunt. He instantly notices how fuckin' wet you are. You're dripping even more than before.

"Sucking me off, got you this wet, princess?" He asks, leaning his forehead against yours.

"Mhm, Carmy, wish you would've cum in my mouth," you admit, tilting your head up to brush your lips against his.

"You have such a dirty fuckin' mouth," he chuckles darkly.

Where did this side of you come from? You're usually so sweet and delicate. He should've known you would be a freak in bed. To think he almost let this all go.

"Carmen, please."

"Please, what?" Carmen teases, lining his cock against your opening, wetting his cock.

"Fuck me," you moan, kissing his jaw.

"'m gonna fuck you good, princess," he promises, with a shaky nod before he remembers, "Fuck! I-I don't have a condom with me."

"I should have some in my drawer," you mention breathlessly.

Carmy opens the condom in record time but is surprised when you take it from his hands and roll it down his shaft yourself. You just want an excuse to keep touching him.

With your leg hiked up, he aligns himself and slowly pushes in. You both gasp at the sensation. Carmy, for one, is trying to not bust a nut so soon because you're so tight and warm.

Meanwhile, you hold onto Carmy's back as he stretches you out. It's been so long, and your toys aren't nearly as thick as him. You breathily moan in his ear, which he takes as a good sign as he begins thrusting more forcefully and deeper.

Carmy hopes this isn't a dream, and if it is, he hopes he doesn't wake up anytime soon. He has one hand holding onto your thigh and the other holding himself up. His gold chain dangles above you as he picks his head up from its spot on your shoulder. You take the chance to tug on it, returning his attention to your lips.

"You feel so fuckin' good, princess," Carmy groans, squeezing your thigh.

"I love your cock, Carmy," you whine, feeling the drag of his cock on your walls. The pleasure is all-consuming, leaving a fuzzy feeling in your brain.

"You like when I fuck you like this?"

"Yes, yes, yes, keep going."

His hips snap hard against yours, hitting that spot each and every time. His pelvis hitting your clit. He squeezes your thigh, hips, and sides before his hand squeezes your tits, too, playing with your nipples.

Suddenly, he straightens up, pulling you down the bed to have you flushed against his pelvis. He's a sight for sore eyes that forces you to keep your eyes open.

His thrusts are more forceful like this, where he digs his fingers into the fat of your hips to pull you towards him with each snap. It makes your tits bounce, hypnotizing him.

Through your lustful gaze, he looks like a marble statue. His chest glimmers under the lowlights of your room as sweat clings to him, his chain jumping against the blushed skin of his chest, and his fucking hair falling over his pretty eyes. The set of his jaw could've been sculpted by Michaelangelo himself.

Your hands indulgently reach down to touch him in any way you can. You can only reach his stomach, where a nice pair of abs appear due to the effort.

"You like what you see?" Carmy teases. He's entirely lost on you because otherwise, he wouldn't be as cocky to say that.

"You're so handsome," you pitifully say. Your brain not computing as it should, but how can it when it's being fucked out of you?

Carmy doesn't know how to respond. It's not often he's called handsome or looked at as lustfully as you're looking at him. Thankfully, he doesn't need to say much as your eyes roll back and you squeeze your walls around him.

"Carmy, I'm so close," you pant, trying to find any part of him to hold. He offers you his hand, lacing your fingers together.

"Just a little longer, princess," Carmy groans as you clench around him. "Fuck, don't do that to me."

He glances down at the spot where you and him meet to see a ring of white on the base of his cock. He's enthralled with the way you stretch to accommodate him and the way your pink walls drag along his length when he pulls out. Fuckin' beautiful.

Putting all his knowledge to use, he thumbs your clit, making you jolt. He needs you to cum now, or he won't make it. His balls feel like they're about to burst.

"Carmy," you cry out, tightening the hold on his hand.

You teeter on the edge for only a second until you cum, waves of pleasure washing over you. Carmy curses from above you as your tightening walls choke his cock, making him cum too. He stutters his hips a couple more times, riding out his orgasm.

He leans back down again, catching your lips in a small kiss. His body slowly relaxes against yours as his head rests on your neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and perfume.

"That was good," you breathe heavily, rubbing your hands up and down your back. You're just starting to think clearly.

"Fuckin' amazing," he adds.

There's a beat of silence before you both burst out laughing.

A bubble encases you, and it can't be popped as long as you stay in your bedroom. Carmy doesn't want to leave; it's late already, and in a couple of hours, he has to get up and go to The Bear to repeat the process.

For once, he forgets about that and focuses solely on you. He has a couple of hours to spare. Sleep is overrated.

You face each other on the bed, talking in hushed whispers. Your fingers trace the '773' tattoo on his bicep like you've always wanted to do. It tickles Carmy, so he grabs your hand and kisses your palm.

"Now that I'm thinking about it. I didn't see your tattoo," he whispers to prevent disturbing the peace.

Your face warms at his words. You had forgotten about that. He's seen a lot of you in the past couple of hours. What's a bit more of skin?

"You missed my big bad tattoo?" you joke, poking his nose.

"Show me," he says with a lopsided smile.

You make it dramatic, rolling your eyes and giving him a big sigh. Sitting up on the bed, you peel the bed sheets from your body. Carmy props himself up on his elbow in anticipation.

Right there, on your left side and under the curve of your breast is a small outline of Winnie the Pooh's face. Carmy touches it, biting his lip to hold back a laugh. Unsurprisingly, it's precisely what he expected from you.

A few chuckles pass his lips as he pulls you back into his arms.

"Don't laugh. It made sense at the time," you whine, covering yourself back up.

Carmy pulls you to his chest, kissing your temple, "I'm sure it does. Pooh Bear loves his Honey," Just like he does.

"Exactly! Someone gets it!"

And he does because Carmy, aka The Bear, is quickly falling for his Honey.

A couple of days later, Carmy is back at your house helping you prepare the famous pizza you promised him. He lets you take the lead on everything, preferring to follow your instructions rather than let his mind run wild. It's not like you'll let him do most of the work anyway; it's your recipe, and you're protective over it.

"Can you chop up the veggies?" You ask him as you lay down the dough in a pan.

"Yes, Chef," he nods, kissing your cheek as he digs through your kitchen drawers for a knife.

"Oh, I like the sound of that," you muse, shaking your shoulders as you knead the dough to spread it.

"Don't let it get to your head, Hun," Carmy smiles, slicing the vegetables expertly.

Cooking with Carmy is surprisingly easier than you thought. He's not controlling over the kitchen or judgy. He lets you do your thing in peace, following your orders no matter how strange they might be. This is your kitchen, not his.

As you spread the sauce and cheese over one of the doughs, Carmy gets a call. He wipes his hands with a rag and picks it up. You only hear his side of the conversation.

"No, I'm off tonight. I'm with my girl. Call Sugar. She should be able to help you with that. Great. Thanks."

Carmy had promised himself that he would try to balance it all better. He has his team to help each other out. The Bear is a priority, but so are you because you help him keep whatever sanity he has left.

Carmy hangs up, and when he returns to you, he notices the grin on your lips as you put the toppings he chopped on the pizza.

"What's with the smile?" Carmy stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he props his head on your shoulder. Your hair tickles his nose, smelling the notes of coconut of your shampoo he digs his head farther into it.

"I'm your girl?" You ask, the smile still present on your face. He'd missed your initial reaction when you heard him call you 'my girl.' You almost dropped the container of pepperoni that was in your hands. It's a shock cause he never asked you to be his girl.

Carmy pauses and tenses up against you. "Uh, yes? Hold up. Turn around," he orders, as he places his hand on your hips to turn your body around.

"Yes, chef," you respond cheekily, your arms around his neck, careful not to touch his sweater with your messy hands.

"Aren't you my girl?" He frowns, rubbing a thumb over your hips.

"I could be, but I don't remember you asking," you pretend to think.

Carmy never directly asked you to be his girlfriend, and you never asked him to be your boyfriend. You might as well be a couple since you've been dating long enough. You decide to seize the opportunity now to get it out of him. Having a proper anniversary day would be nice because you hope this lasts.

"I see, my mistake," Carmy nods, catching your vibe, "Honey…"

"Yes, Carmy?" You blink innocently at him.

"Would you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?" He finally asks.

You could joke around but decided against it cause the moment is perfect, "I'd love to," you nod, giving him a small kiss.

When the pizza is cooked, you bring it over to the dining table. Serving Carmy a pretty slice. Excitedly, you wait for him to bite into it and taste it.

"What do you think?" You ask expectantly.

"You were right. Best pizza in Chicago," Carmy agrees with an unbelievable laugh. He's got a lot to learn from you. It's the truth, or maybe he's blinded by his feelings. Only time will tell where you and Carmy will end up.

The End?

thank you guys for pulling through and reading! i know it's a slow burn but i hope you liked it! i certainly enjoyed writing it even though it took me like 4 months.

if you liked it, i would appreciate you liking it, commenting or reblogging. if you have some feedback feel free to send it my way too. i wanna get better at this whole writing thing!

thank you! bye xx

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #fanfiction #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #the bear #carmy x reader #carmy x you #carmy x fem!reader

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bvclee · 3 months

Text

high school sweetheart.

sypnosis: you had a crush on a girl that never seem to noticed you, so your friends and yourself had the great idea that you probably should write her letters until the ski trip, too bad you've mistaken her locker with jang wonyoung's, the most popular girl in school.

warning: maybe kind of social anxiety (?), not really but enemies to lovers.

(sorry for any grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!)

genre: fluff, maybe a little angst.

ever since you came into high school, you catch yourself staring at An Yujin, the volleyball team's captain. your friends were quick to noticed how you would ramble about her, pure admiration filling your voice.

she was sat next to you in math and would explained you what you weren't understanding, you swore you fell in love, but she never seemed to care more than that.

"—you're so right ! she will like me with that." you affirmed as Rei raised an eyebrow at you.

"are you really sure this gonna work?"

"well, people like poetry!" you defended yourself as Gaeul giggled leaning back on her chair.

"what do you mean? how laufey and pinkpantheress' lyrics are supposed to be poetry-?"

"it is!" you cut off Rei, making the one that gave you the idea giggled once again.

the canteen was pretty loud. you never really liked loud places, it made you uncomfortable and tense.

—

Jang Wonyoung, high school sweetheart.

it would be a lie if she said that she don't received love confessions in her locker every weeks. in fact it was very common for her.

but this time it was beyond different.

she couldn't help herself but smile, that's when one of her friend pointed it out.

"that's laufey lyrics! i love laufey!" Liz exclaimed as Wonyoung took back the letter as soon it left her hand afraid it would be tear apart.

Leeseo raised an eyebrow as she tried to remember who kim y/n was.

"ooh! i know her!"

her?

Wonyoung eyes widened, she didn't noticed the name before. it was the very first time a girl ever confessed her love to her.

"who's she?"

"that's Yujin-unnie's math seat mate. the one that she helps a lot but ends up with perfect grades."

"i thought she had a crush on Yujin?" Liz questioned confused as she tilt her head towards the youngest.

Leeseo took out her phone as she showed the tallest your instagram.

"send me her profile, need to stalk her highlights." Wonyoung announced as Liz let out a scoff in slight shock.

it wasn't unusual.

—

"Yujin was smiling a lot more! it totally worked! guys im telling you this is working." y/n said as Gaeul shook her head smiling.

Rei thought a moment before heading her a piece of paper out of her bag.

"then write a new quote!" Rei said supportively as she placed a pencil on the offee table in front of her as she let herself fall onto Gaeul's couch.

Gaeul's parents had always good taste, it wasn't a surprise for them to have a living room this comfortable and welcoming.

Rei liked it.

you thought for a moment before writing the quote not minding Rei's curious glares nor Gaeul reading out loud as you were writing. the green pencil slipping on the sheet as your focus face made the girls smile at you. it was cute how involved you were.

"i'm doing it until the ski trip and then confess, easy-peasy!" the two girl sitting in front of you shared a glare before bursting into laughter.

you gave them a stare as they calmed down smiling like two idiots acting like nothing happened as if they didn't just made fun of you for being a little too corny.

"yah! it's not funny!" you hit Rei's shoulder with the nearest book you could laid your hand on when you heard her chucked silently.

—

Yujin smirk once again trying to reach the letter, an eyebrow raised at her volleyball teammate.

"come on, let me see! as your captain, you must–."

"it has nothing to do with volleyball!" Wonyoung defended herself as she gazed another time on the note you slid into her locker once again.

after a few more begging and whining, Wonyoung gave in as she hand the paper at Yujin. her eyes drifting from the hallway as she saw you walking with your friends.

you took a quick glance at Yujin as you watched her passing the note to Wonyoung, your face remaining confused as you let yourself drag you away an unreadable expression on your face.

in reality you were jealous, why would Yujin pass your ´love letters' to Wonyoung. why were Yujin smiling like that? was it because of you or Wonyoung's perfect annoyed face?

Wonyoung's orbits widened as she hit Yujin on the shoulder panicked.

"the fu-? what was that?" the volleyball captain rubbed her arm glaring at Wonyoung.

"she saw us!"

"who–?"

"Y/n! she looked hurt!" Yujin rolled her eyes and hit the popular girl with the same among of strength she received a while ago.

"maybe she thinks you're making fun of her, you should probably write some notes with lyrics or poems or whatever back at her."

Wonyoung froze for a second before smiling placing her hand on Yujin shoulder.

"you're a genius."

—

you kept this little game between you two going, it was now time for the ski trip and you were impatient.

when you entered the bus, you expected Yujin to wait in a seat alone like 'she' mentioned in her letter, you were quit surprise to see her seating with Liz already sharing some snacks.

"y/n, please sit down." your teacher said as every eyes in the bus fixed their stares on you.

you never liked loud place and full of people. like the bus. you hated school trips if you weren't sat down next to someone you knew.

as you were about to protest an angelic voice offered you a sit with an hesitant smile.

Jang Wonyoung, high school sweetheart.

the one you probably tell your children's about even if she was just your friend, your classmate or hallway crush.

you sat down immediately scared of the stares on you glaring at your hands wrapped around your bag.

"miffy." you turned your gaze to meet the most beautiful smile you've ever laid your eyes on.

"excuse me?"

"oh, i meant i like your miffy plushie." she explained referring to the small stuffed animal hanging on your bag.

"thank you.." you replied nervously eyeing Yujin from the corner of your eyes.

Wonyoung was nervous and came to the conclusion you were probably nervous too so she took out a piece of paper and write down something as she placed it between your hands.

confused you read the note, you couldn't help a slight smile drawing itself on your face as you replied.

"snow!" someone exclaimed really loudly as you tried to watch by the window getting closer to Wonyoung involuntarily.

"you're pretty as the snow." she blurted out without warning as you look at her like you've misheard what she said.

you just smiled and took out your earphones as you were about to play on laufey, she remembered the very first note you send her.

remarking the way she was intrigued by the song playing in your earphones, you offered her one of your airpods as you both listened to your playlist in silence.

Rei and Gaeul shared a look confused.

Liz and Leeseo also shared a look, but it was totally different. it was a knowing look. both of them smirking quickly taking a pic.

people in the van were quick to notice Wonyoung's way to look at you. it wasn't ordinary that she sat with someone else than her friends.

—

"Wonyoung? how?" Rei and Gaeul asked at the same time both of their face holding once of mixed up.

"i don't know.. she just offered."

As Gaeul asked many questions, Rei analysed Yujin's group expression as they were watching you as Wonyoung talk.

'she has a crush on, y/n.' Rei came to this conclusion as she remembered everything that happened this past few months.

what if y/n were talking with Wonyoung instead of Yujin? Rei rejected this idea, fully listening to your rambling about every little detail that happened.

"you should confess." Yujin said wrapping her arms around Wonyoung's shoulder.

"what if-"

"she already likes you!" Leeseo argued back groaning at her friend.

the snow weren't falling but the ground were full of it, white snow spread everywhere recovering the grass a little.

the mountain covered too.

—

you heard a knock on the door, it was past the bedtime.

you opened unsure as you recognised Wonyoung's figure in the slight dark as she smile.

"it snowing. wanna walk around together?" she asked holding her gloves nervously but she seemed totally confident.

you glanced behind as Rei nodded multiple times and Gaeul just looked not understanding the whole situation as lost as you.

"wait, let me put on my coat." you replied, closing the door behind you.

you looked petrified.

"what's going on!?" you whispered-yelled, panicking.

"just go! Wonyoung seemed to be into you-"

"dont say things like that. she obviously likes Yujin too. she's like my enemie."

"a friendly enemie then." Gaeul joked, earning a slight scoff from the other one.

after what seemed an eternity, you finally showed yourself back ready to walk out.

it was quiet, a little cold but peaceful.

"i enjoy quiet things.."

Wonyoung nodded, she already knew that. you already told her in a note of yours. that's why she offered you a walk at night.

the snow hitting your shoes as you walked both of your hands inside your pockets.

she sighed as she stopped walking.

"i like you too." she confessed as your turn away.

"huh?"

"i like you too." she repeated.

you looked around maybe thinking that Yujin was too nervous to say it so she sent Wonyoung.

"does Yujin sent you?"

"pardon me?"

a weird atmosphere took place over your heads, it wasn't calm and peaceful, it was now tense and electric. like a bomb waiting to explode.

"the lyrics notes you sent me-"

"i didn't sent those to you." you harshly let out without thinking about your tone twice.

then it hit both of you at the same time. like connecting the dots together.

you realised you've been sending all these cute things full of love to the wrong person. to Jang Wonyoung, your friendly enemie.

silence.

dead silence.

"i'm sorry–." you tried to explained yourself out of this big misunderstanding.

"i'm so stupid." she murmured to herself, tears forming into the taller eyes.

"sorry, y/n. i won't be taking to much on your time anymore." she kept her head low avoiding your eyes.

shame.

she throw a paper away, leaving you alone under the lights of a street lamp apologising once again almost running away from you.

you didn't move, you just kneel down to pick up the piece of paper and your heart broke when you met your handwriting.

laufey lyrics, your very first note.

"Wonyoung!" you called as if she was still there but she was no longer in sight, probably running to her dorm.

and she had.

walking back to your dorm like a lost puppy, not knowing how to feel. you were sure of one thing, you didn't like Yujin anymore, at least not as much as you thought.

when you entered the dorm, Gaeul and Rei almost ran to you with big smirks as tears formed into your eyes.

the dorm was mostly in brown and pale blue tone, you liked it, it was welcoming.

"i've been sending letters to her. she likes me." you said between cries.

you weren't sure about the reason of your crying, maybe it was the disappointment of not winning Yujin's heart or breaking Wonyoung's heart. or maybe it was both or none.

Gaeul let you cry on your shoulder, she didn't saw that coming but Rei did. she knew something was off, she just decided to ignore it from the beginning.

"but you like Yujin?"

"i don't know! i like the person i wrote to, because Yujin was just a slight crush before the notes. i grew to like her because of those."

Rei sighed and caressed your back as you cried.

"you like Wonyoung's personality with Yujin's face." Rei tried to explained.

this whole month you've been dreaming of dates with Yujin, but she wasn't the one you truly like. she wasn't the one that truly liked you too.

you wiped your tears away.

"i like Wonyoung. i want Wonyoung." you sternly said determinedly.

"but–."

—

she avoided you all week.

ski trip was almost over and even if you made a promise to yourself to confess to Yujin, now it was different since the Yujin you liked, was Wonyoung. you had to confess to Wonyoung.

"it's impossible to find you at day." you said as Wonyoung turned around in shock as she stood up from the sofa in the hostel's living room.

"what are you doing here–?"

"Yujin told me you would be here." you simply answered making your way closer to her.

she felt chest getting heavy, ready for any kind of rejection. she was ready for your yells and cries and whatever you were about to throw her.

you took a deep breath.

"i think i like you. i fell for the person i wrote to this past few months."

"but, you liked Yujin."

"i did, i thought i did. but it wasn't as much as i was supposed to like her after this whole letter thing. so it means i like you."

"y/n–"

"i like you, im sure. i've never been more sure." Wonyoung didn't know where the confidence came from but she was kinda liking it.

silence.

it was different from last time you two had a silence between you two, this one it was pure of another kind of tension.

you walked closer.

"look how much i like you." you grabbed her by the collar, and you crashed your lips onto hers.

she kissed back with passion and hunger, like she had been craving for your lips. it was slow yet meaningful. her hands caressing your waist as you let her.

"this is how much i like you too."

and you did it, confess before the end of ski trip. but you did it to Wonyoung instead.

Jang Wonyoung, your sweetheart.

BONUS: first and last notes you sent her !!

#x reader #gxglesbianlgbt #x female reader #lgbtq #wlw #jang wonyoung #jang wonyoung x reader #wonyoung x reader #ive x reader

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fueledbysano · 1 year

Text

𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊! bachira, nagi, rin, chigiri

blue lock boys giving you the second button of their uniform— a way of boys in Japan to express or confess their love for the person they admire. *second button: representing one's love

♱ ft. bachira, nagi, rin, chigiri

♱ content/warnings: gn!reader, university au, fluff, romance, making out.

♱ a/n: my blue lock debut piece! I'd love to write for a lot more of them but since this is my first time writing for the fandom, I'm trying out my skills first with my favorite boys. I really loved writing this one, here's for more!

♡ tags; @tokyometronetwork @blueparadis

♡ bachira

Bachira is a sports scholar of the university, which means he prioritizes his duties in the soccer team over academics. And you were an irregular student, since you came from a different university to shift majors. You have been friends with Bachira since the beginning of the semester because of your shared “weird” schedule compared to the other students in your year. When he is in the field, you’re on the benches, waiting for him to finish to attend your special class together, or just simply killing time together at a fast food or park. Bachira genuinely thought that he'd be a loner when he first stepped foot in the university, but you made sure he never was. Which he appreciated in so many ways, so he started returning the favor by tailing you at all times too.

You weren't sure if it was simply a kind gesture, or he was genuinely intrigued with getting close with you. The thing is.. You were catching feelings for the boy. And it will change the course of your relationship. But you were actually the first one to confess.

“Fine, I’ll do it.” You turn to Isagi, a mutual friend of you and Meguru. “Really?” He sounded amazed, finally proud that you acted on your feelings towards Bachira. You have been telling Isagi about how you wanted to “confess” to Bachira without having to stress on a cheesy message that high schoolers do, until Isagi gave you an idea of giving Bachira your name tag, a form of confession of girls to boys in Korea.

“[ Y / N ], this is for you!” Bachira yelled from the field as he dribbled, then kicked the ball straight to the goal. You smiled at him and stuck your thumbs out to cheer him on. “It’s all going to go well. I think he likes you too.” Isagi said as he stood up. “Who knows, maybe you’ll spend Valentine’s together!” He teased before jogging back to the field.

You didn’t exactly plan on how you will hand your tag to him. Should you do it like the ones on TV? Call him to a special place and then hand it to him? You tried to think of different places as you walked down the halls, running your thumb over the embroidered letters of your name on the patch.

At the corner of your eye, you spot the lockers outside the gym. You stopped your tracks when you realized that Bachira had one of those. Searching for his name, you slipped your name tag in between the thin gaps of the locker and hoped for the best.

That night, you shut your phone off out of anxiety and decided to check it by tomorrow, when he’s probably seen your little gift to him. However, your body froze when his name still didn’t show up in your messages. Hasn’t he seen it yet? Or, maybe, he did… You waited all day for a message, heck, for him to even knock on your door but there was nothing.

What if he just didn’t know what it meant? Maybe he’ll just return it when you see each other again which is… in two days. However, when you showed up in the field on Monday, bachira was nowhere to be found. Isagi also mentioned that the boy was barely texting over the weekend, which was the last straw in making you panic.

“I dropped the name tag in his locker! What if— what if he saw it and he’s avoiding me now?!” You held onto Isagi’s shoulders. “Wait, what?!” He exclaimed. “Okay, maybe I am a pussy for not giving it in person—” You rambled, until you noticed that Isagi’s eyes trailed behind you. “[ Y / N ], someone’s looking for you.” He spoke. You look at him in confusion before turning to your back. Bachira had just arrived and quietly looked at you, and then went back to Isagi.

“[ Y / N ], can we talk?” He finally asks. “Yeah, sure.” You were obviously nervous. You’ve never felt this tense with Bachira before, especially when the both of you were dead silent as you headed to the campus gardens.

“Well, First of all, I’m sorry—” For what simultaneously felt like a second and eternity, your mind jumped into the worst case scenario— a rejection. However, your mind quickly went back to reality when he continued talking. “There were lots of clothes in my locker and I believe this got buried at the bottom.” He held your name tag up with a sly smile. “I got sick over the weekend and didn’t see it until this morning, so… I’m sorry.” He chuckled.

“Oh… yeah, no worries.” You casually chuckled. “No, I definitely made you worried. My bad.” He insisted. You stood for a moment and looked into each other's eyes in silence before he reached for his shirt pocket, and handed you something.

Now that he knows for a fact that you reciprocate his feelings, he was confident. Before he went to you, Bachira called his mom and she gave her just the right push to show you just how much he adores you the same way you did.

You felt your body heat up when you realized it was the second button of his uniform shirt, sitting on the palm of your hand. Bachira had a shy smile as he watched you react to his response. “So… it’s Valentine’s day tomorrow and… I was wondering if you want to go out with me…” Bachira thought it was perfect timing and reason to ask you out, something he’d been on the fence for over a while now.

“Well, we always go out, but, I want to—” You reached your hands up to Bachira’s soft cheeks and offered him your lips before feeling him pull your chin towards him gently and eventually envelop his lips with yours. You kissed fiercely, smiling at each other's mouths.

“Of course, I do.” You whispered and hooked your finger into his belt loop and pulled him into a deeper kiss

♡ nagi

Nagi was quick to realize his feelings for you, especially after Isagi teased him for blushing when you practically threw yourself into him for a hug when the team you were cheering for won the game. He wasn’t particularly fond of all the blushing when he unexpectedly meets you in the hallways or trying to speak to you without his heart racing.

So he decided on confessing to you, but he wasn't quite sure how. Nagi is a simple man, he wanted it forward, but memorable. The fact that he wasn’t sure of your romantic preferences was what makes him nervous and taking quite long.

The thoughts of his confession continued to haunt him, he would overthink about different scenarios during practice, and one time he even messed up a level in his game because he thought of you thinking he was too corny. Thankfully, the boys cut him some slack as they understand what he’s going through, at the same time, helping him think of ways to confess and ensuring he is cool enough to pull you.

On the other hand, you were clueless why Nagi started to suddenly choke on his words around you, but you think it was cute. One thing you liked doing for Nagi is watching his soccer matches. He is highly motivated in the field and took the game seriously. But when you walk up to him with a bottle of energy drink after every match, he’s back to being the shy boy, especially when his teammates not-so-secretly cheer and holler at your little interaction.

“Hey, Nagi? Wanna get something to eat before going home?” You looked up at him hopefully. You lived close to him, but he lived further away from the university than you did. So you often walked each other home for convenience. With the exception of the one incident when Nagi started dozing off and you had to tow him along while he was seated on a skateboard.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Fried chicken?” You grinned at him. At this, Nagi smiled a little, but said nothing more. You two walked slowly out of the campus, and towards the place. The rest of the time, as you both ate, you spoke about somewhat common subjects like your weekend plans or any antics of his teammates.

Nagi was contemplating how he could get the most out of this conversation, despite how much he wanted to hear you exclaim with excitement about your plans. Maybe after all, you were the final push he needed for his confession all along. Your heart felt like it was going to catch fire as Nagi appeared to mirror the sea of emotion that was in your eyes while he carefully listened to what you had to say.

You both finished your meals, Nagi insisted on paying the check, and you left the restaurant into the chilly evening air. “What’s the occasion?” You giggle when you put your coat on, and then meet Nagi’s serious expression.

If he’s not scared, he’s not taking a chance.

And if he’s not taking a chance… then what the hell is he doing?

“[ Y / N ]...”

“Yeah?” Nagi now had everything planned out. The dinner was his treat, and tomorrow after class, he'll simply let the button of his uniform speak to you. “I’m going to confess to you tomorrow so wait for me after school, okay?” The anxiety was long gone but most certainly not the honesty. You were equally amazed and perplexed by his words. It was already a confession, wasn't it?

“Oi, why are you all smiley?” Nagi still doesn't realize his mistake of blurting out what was on his mind. “Because…. You already confessed to me.” You chuckled, looking up at him with a thin smile. “Eh—” Nagi recalled the words in his mind and had an internal panic attack. “F-forget what I said—”

“No, I refuse to forget that.” You took a step closer towards Nagi before slowly taking his right hand that redeemed all the terror in his system. “Tell me…” You spoke softly, toying with the collar of his coat. And so with an exhale, Nagi pulled on the second button of his school uniform before taking it to your hand that was intertwined with his, “one’s most beloved person.” He decreed.

You felt Nagi's hands raise your chin up, and before you could say anything, you felt his lips on yours. As you moved your lips against his, he waited patiently for your consent before proceeding. At first, Nagi’s eyes were a tangle of turmoil and both of yours were wide with optimism. You move forward towards him and put your hands up around his neck as you close your eyes in happiness.

The risk was worth it.

♡ rin

Three weeks had already passed since you were left hanging by a potential love figure; Rin Itoshi. And up to this day, you still feel like being swallowed to the ground every time you recall the memory. It all started when you happened to share drinks with him at an afterparty, in celebration of the win of their team in the national tournaments.

And with the help of alcohol, you had his number by the end of the night and started talking to him since then. Rin isn’t too much of a dry texter like anyone would assume, but definitely isn’t talkative either. Your usual greetings and ranting about your professors grew into telling how each other’s days went, sending pictures of something cool you saw, and even an unexpected shirtless mirror selfie of him in the locker room after a game.

It was like winning the lottery, really. Knowing that other people at campus died to even get his attention.

Just when things seemed to go smoothly with Rin, you finally agreed to go on a date together in a simple cafe just around the town. However, when you arrived at the hour you agreed on, he was nowhere to be found. He never arrived that night, nor did you message him ever again; you were too embarrassed and angry to bitch out on him, knowing well that having hard feelings with Rin never ends well.

So you ignored him on campus as best as you can. You were doing good with your mission, until the day of your senior trip arrived. You were unfortunately sat next to him on the bus. Rin didn’t show it, but he was floored. He didn’t dare to spare a glance towards your way, and neither did you. He was the one who stood you up, why is he the one acting smug? Rin remained unbothered and had his eyes peered on the cars and trees passing by, oblivious of the dagger stares you were now throwing at him.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” He spoke up and offered you an ear bud, still not making sure contact. “Oh, so we’re talking again?” You blurt, audibly upset with him. “I’m being nice.” Rin sighed. “I don’t wanna watch your stupid movie.” You spat and turned your back to him. “Have fun getting bored for the next four hours.” He spoke smugly. “Dick.” You mumbled and threw your hoodie over your head.

Rin knows what you were doing. You had every right to act the way you do towards him, just as he anticipated. He knows that there was nothing he could do about it, so he didn’t bother to even plan out a conversation with you. However, He wished that he would have dealt with things differently. You did not deserve to be stood up on that date and it is unfair of him to act like nothing happened. For the first time in his life— Itoshi Rin was conflicted and unsure.

You slowly fell into slumber as the bus’ movement rocked you like a baby. However, you shifted halfway through your sleep and fell right onto Rin’s shoulder. He wasn’t oblivious of this, but let you get comfortable in his touch anyways. Rin felt tense, startled, even. And you weren’t even awake. He was debating whether to rest his head on yours too, but before he could act, the bus was already pulling over at the beach resort you were heading to.

You woke up feeling suspiciously comfortable, realizing where you have been sleeping for the last hour. “Thought I had to drag you out of here.” Rin already had your bags in his hand. You threw him a quick thanks before heading straight to your respective room, loathing how you let yourself fall asleep on Rin’s shoulder for god knows how long. He probably thinks that you’re still chasing after him.

Shortly, you were now dipped in the pool with your friends and classmates. You knew you had to emerge when your fingers started to prune. You were surprised that Rin didn’t come along, considering that his friends, Aryu and Tokimitsu, were around. You were ready to call it a night until some guys in your year invited you to their room for drinks. Everyone seemed to be headed there right now, but you weren’t particularly in the mood for partying.

“I’m gonna have to pass tonight. I hope there's one tomorrow?” You awkwardly smiled at the visibly drunk guys. “Come on, we’ll make sure you have fun alright.” One of them spoke and took you by the wrist. “H-hey, I said I’m fine.” You tried to turn but the other guys were already blocking your way. “Scram. Junichi, Keisuke.” A voice coming from the staircase startled the brothers.

��[ Y / N ]’s coming with me. Leave us.” Rin’s first instinct was to cover your soaked swimwear and skin with his varsity jacket. “I totally had that.” You scoffed. “Come on, not even a ‘thank you’?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m really upset with you, you know?” You blurt with a sigh. “You’ve made that very obvious.” Rin flatly spoke, before breathing out, “You’re the only one in this university to genuinely get my interest.” “I didn’t show up because… I wanted to be sure.”He added. “Sure of what?”

He was forward, but you liked how he also conformed into the button-giving confession style. You weren’t sure if Rin had picked up on you being a hopeless romantic, but it worked. “Be mine.” Rin said with a heartstopping smirk that showed just enough of his smile, the button to his uniform pinched in between his index and middle finger. You had no words at Rin’s sudden confession.

You felt your cheeks heat up as he leaned closer to you, slowly backing you against the wall. “Rin—” You whimpered at his touch, but his eyes glistened with adoration and lust, for none other than you. Rin leaned down slowly, his eyes only focused on your lips as he pressed his own softly to yours.

♡ chigiri

The most hesitant. He didn't really feel the need to tell you since he believed that his feelings for you were simply a passing infatuation, nothing more than a silly memory he would laugh about as you grow up. This just gave him the courage to openly express his feelings for you, which seemed to have succeeded given the energy you reciprocated.

However, when his accident happened, it was no secret that it took a toll on his career and relationship, including yours. Yet, it also truly astounded him and made him understand that you weren't simply just a silly crush.

You assisted him with his physical therapy when his family was unable to do so, you didn't get angry when he demanded space, you never missed an opportunity to distract him from his injury even just for the slightest second, and most importantly— you treated him in the same manner as before rather than looking at him with pity like other people might have.

You are the calm in the middle of the storm; and something about it just served to deepen his feelings for you. Chigiri believes that you made him better when he was back in the field in no time. However, bittersweet news came when he was offered an opportunity in Blue Lock.

You were often inside his mind during his entire stay in the project; wondering how you fared on your own, and also hoping that no one’s replaced his place in your life.

So when he finished his goals at the project, he wasted no time in coming back home to his family, and you. However, a long time has passed and you have gone off to college in a different city. Chigiri's mother strongly encouraged him to follow suit and get a sports scholarship, considering that the term just started as well.

You missed Chigiri dearly, but proud of all his accomplishments in the Blue Lock project. So when you mother informed you that he had returned and is attending your university, you pulled every string you could to find out which program he took and where the hell he was; bringing you here to room 505 of the boys’ dormitory. “Damnit, it’s real.” The words barely came out of your mouth. Chigiri changed since the last time you saw him; the hair framing his face grew significantly longer, his body grew a more lean frame, and grew some height.

“[ Y / N ]!” Chigiri is floored, to say the least; finding you at his doorstep. He didn’t show it, but his heart was racing as you studied each other’s faces. He had been meaning to look for you but getting settled in took much of his time, but here you were now. “Mom told me that you went here and I never really saw you around—”

“It’s okay.” Chigiri held you in a big embrace and let you giggle over his shoulder before uttering a quick “Hi.” “So, I heard that you just got in?” You asked “Yeah.” “I never knew you were coming home.” You admitted. “Well, we have time before the next cup.” Chigiri explained, rubbing soft circles on your back.

“I’m so proud of you.” You smiled before pulling away. “How about we get some karinto and I’ll show you around?” You offered. “They serve karinto here?!” He exclaimed, mouth almost watering at the thought of his favorite dish that he hasn't had in so long. “Why else do you think I chose this school?” You remarked. “I’ll get my coat!”

You didn't seem to run out of things to tell the boy as you walked around the campus while he stuffed his mouth with the sweets. and neither did he; telling you about the friends and enemies he's made inside the project. “Everyone pretty much minds their own business here so you’re free to sleep or cry.” You were at the final stop on your tour and were pointing out the library to Chigiri through the window.

“Speaking from experience?” He teased. “Yes. Simultaneously.” You shamelessly admit, earning a laugh from him. “So, that’s about it.” You concluded before tossing the dessert packaging in the bin. “That was way better than the campus tour the president gave me.” Chigiri mumbled. “You already had a tour?!” You scolded. “Of course. I’m a celebrity now.” He winked. “Besides, I wanted a reason to spend time with you.” Chigiri laughed. “You’re so corny.” You hit a playful punch on his arm. “Let me tell you about the time when an opponent asked me what shampoo I use right before a match…”

After making another round trip around the campus, you returned to Chigiri's dormitory just as his story came to an end. “So, this is you.” You smiled as you stopped at his doorstep. “Yup. Right where you picked me up.” Chigiri remarked, wishing he could come up with something to stay with you longer. “It was really good to see you again.” You sighed and embraced him once again.

You almost melted in his presence when he returned the embrace while you felt his muscles hug you delicately. “I missed you.” He chuckled at the sudden affection. “I missed you too.” Your warmth made it impossible to leave. “Good night, Chigiri.”

Chigiri couldn’t get himself to open his door without you by his side. All the “what if’s” haunted him all at once as he watched you walk away slowly. He knows that you have some time together, but he wouldn’t let another chance slip again.

So with a deep sigh and a strong pull on his uniform button, Chigiri called for your name.“[ Y / N ]!”

“Oh, thank god.” You mumbled to yourself before practically sprinting to the man. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Chigiri professed, taking your face in his hands. “I’m scared… I’m scared as hell to want you, but I’m here wanting you anyway. And the fear means I have something to lose, right? I don’t want to lose you.” He stammered and pressed his forehead against yours in a delicate embrace.

“And I’ve always liked you.” He opened his eyes and put his button in your own hand. “I like you too,” You gladly accepted his confession before finally closing the gap in between your lips. For a brief moment, he felt relief in his embrace before the kiss turned fierce. Chigiri blindly reached for the door knob before the door gave way and within a second, he already had you pinned on the other side of it.

#blue lock #blue lock imagines #bachira meguru #bachira x reader #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #nagi seishiro #nagi x reader #chigiri hyoma #chigiri x reader #fluff

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