#anxious attachment and avoidant attachment be like

[vitreouspositive]

when old friends turn into strangers and when "i thought you were dead" turns into "you should've died"

[me-and-me-fr]

They’re having discourse on Tiktok about attachment issues. Attachment. Issues. You know, the thing usually caused by some trauma or underlying mental issues. Cool, great. They love to victimize people with anxious attachment styles, while villainizing people who have avoidant attachment styles.

Both can be terrible to someone in a relationship.

Both are capable of recognizing that and changing it.

Call me chronically online all you fucking want, but if you believe someone is undeserving of love because of a trauma response, maybe it’s you who needs to take a step outside.

[l0tt1ee]

[venusiinfurss]

self- sabotage tonight queen

[impassioned-ships]

Does anyone else put their irl relationship insecurities into shipping with characters? No? Just me? Okay.

[v4mpyinred]

MORE Akijun angst time, but it's mostly Akihiko angst because i love projecting my awful attachment issues onto Akihiko and making him suffer in general <33

I love the idea of Akihiko being so scared of his feelings for Junpei once he realizes he has them. After all, Akihiko has lost everyone else close to him, so what's stopping Junpei from being a part of that same fate? Shoot, Akihiko already watched Junpei die (before Chidori saved him, of course). It could happen again, and the last thing Aki would want is to seal such a fate for Junpei, all because of his own stupid feelings...

It sucks because Junpei is pretty affectionate and clingy, so i can imagine Aki hurting as Junpei tries to get closer to him. But he lets Junpei in anyway, because Akihiko doesn't strike me as the avoidant type.

In fact, I think Akihiko would be fall into the anxious attachment type (projection), even if he tries to bury it and act like he's fine. I really like the idea of Aki having some kind of separation anxiety, and him being so damn worried about Junpei's wellbeing all the time. When Junpei doesn't answer his calls (cuz he's busy or...actually this is junpei his phone is prolly just dead LOL) or is late to something, it drives Akihiko crazy. Same for if Junpei is sick or hurt. Aki hurts too. Especially when he can't heal Junpei and can only just watch. It reminds Akihiko of all the times he couldn't help others in his life.

However, Aki tries soooo hard not to be as controlling and overprotective with Junpei like he was with Shinji. After all, he's done holding onto the pain of the past, and feeling all guilty or worried over things out of his control. He's had his character development, i won't erase that.

But Aki's only human..and it's so hard to feel fine when Akihiko couldn't live with himself if something happened to Junpei. Especially after he's lost pretty much everyone, and it seems that's the path destined for his loved ones. It's so hard to not have those "what if's...", even if Aki has no reason to suspect anything bad is going to happen. He promised he'd protect everyone and that includes Junpei.

In the end, though, Junpei is always there for Akihiko. All of Akihiko's crippling worries seem to wash away when he opens his eyes to Junpei sleeping peacefully next to him. Or when Akihiko comes back from a morning jog and notices the breakfast and lovely note written for him sitting on the table...I think I've mentioned Junpei comforting Akihiko when he has nightmares/flashbacks. Well, I think Junpei would do more too! Like reassuring Akihiko when his worries get the best of him, making sure to text Aki before he gets too busy to respond, and overall giving Aki all the love and hugs he deserves.

Akihiko is so used to feeling so lost and out of control, especially when it comes to those around him. But I think Junpei would truly heal the side of Akihiko that still hurts, and he'd show Aki that he's never alone🥲

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

whining under the cut

idk if i’ve talked abt it On Here (probably) but i used to be v active in my local kink scene. and then long story short i experienced some Symptoms of mental illness and freaked myself out and i haven’t gone back in a year and a half. and i don’t know how to come back from that. like i miss it so much—i miss the friends i made, and i miss having a thing that was mine, not just something i tagged along to do with my bestie and her other friends.

tomorrow they’re having like a volunteer workday and i signed up to help. no idea what we’re gonna be doing; i assume just like deep cleaning around the club and stuff like that. but i’m like super anxious. i don’t know who’s gonna be there or if anyone is gonna be unhappy to see me? and i know i’m probably making it a bigger deal in my head than it actually is. i’m trying to remind myself that most people aren’t just angry and cruel and vindictive by nature, and i didn’t actually personally or maliciously wrong anyone by skittering away when i scared myself.

and i’m also trying to remind myself that there are two (three? idk) people who may have felt hurt by my sudden disappearance and may not want to talk to me, and that their feeling that way is entirely reasonable and i don’t need to take it as “proof” that i’m evil terrible irredeemable. hurting someone does not make me evil terrible irredeemable it makes me human, and all i can do is apologize and do better next time.

also reminding myself that (1) eye am allowed to feel hurt that no one reached out to me when i dipped and (2) communication is a two-way street and i also could have reached out and didn’t.

all this is to say that i’m both excited and terrified and so so anxious and i kind of want to cancel and stay in bed all day tomorrow. but also i’ve wanted to go back for a year and a half and this is the first step i’ve taken to actually doing it instead of just thinking about it.

[kalkydra]

can't articulate it but "attachment styles" gives me the same 😑😒 feeling as "love languages"

[summerhighlandfalls]

I hate hate HATE tiktok pop psychology for many reasons but one of them is that they’ve taken the terms ‘anxious attachment’ and ‘avoidant attachment’ and bastardized them into ‘clingy partner’ and ‘distant partner’ so it’s become commonplace for random people on the internet—grown adults who should know better— to talk about how they hope everyone with an avoidant attachment style stays away from them or how there should be a dating app for people with an anxious attachment style and it’s becoming too much for me to take because those terms were created to describe the effects of how someone was treated in childhood and infancy. This incredible vitriol towards people with avoidant attachment styles is so so stupid and hurtful when you consider that that term originally applied to people whose psychology had been impacted by childhood neglect

[fixated-on-something]

Ykw I’m tired of pretending. I thought Marina and Zelda were cute in s5. Especially in the musical ep.

[heartshapedcaskett]

Idk like I studied clinical psychology that’s what I have my degree in. But I genuinely think that avoidant attachment style individuals are bad people. I don’t understand how neglect, ignoring the needs of others, and being adverse to honest and direct communication is somehow not viewed as incredibly toxic

[nostalgicfairyz]

i have this urge to push away everyone i start to love and care about because my mind goes into overdrive, imagining a thousand ways they'll leave me and hurt me so i push them away first. but really, i'm just hurting myself, because i'm the one left alone and i always end up longing for their company and the connection we had

[mingos]

wait a minute. so... if i don't think we're friends because i don't want to be presumptuous & assume you're not just being nice to me... and you don't think we're friends because you don't want to be presumptuous & assume i'm just being nice to you...

then who is flying the plane?

[coffeeandinsanityy]

One thing that my past relationships have taught me is that I have strong attachment issues and I seriously need to stop losing myself in love.

[wyn-n-tonic]

i hate how much i like this guy and always have liked this guy and i hate how admitting my feelings to both myself and him have basically given over the power to crush me. it was easier when i was the one making decisions for everybody else and was the reason i hurt. i don't like the notion that somebody else could make me hurt.

[vegetable-soup-wizard]

I had a friend in high school that I think was in a one-sided dependent relationship with me and sometimes I lie awake at night wondering if they were in love with me or not