#anything even remotely 90s is usually just so........... Why...

[flemingsfreckles]

Physio’s Daughter Pt 8

Read the other 7 parts HERE

Warnings: cursing, suggestions to sex, mentions of throwing up, that should be it!

WC: 4.8k

A/N: hello 👋

“Really? You still have interest?” Jessie looks baffled, her eyes wide with raised eyebrows.

“Oh don’t act so surprised, you saw me staring earlier.”

“Yeah I did.” She smiles, thinking back to how she had intentionally wiped her forehead while facing in your direction. She was more than pleased with herself when she put back down her shirt to see you had been watching.

“Look, you said terrible things, and if anything even remotely close to that happens again, I will never speak to you again. But Jessie I really like you. I want to give you a second chance even though maybe I shouldn’t but I’d like to believe what you and Janine both said is true. This isn’t your typical behavior, you’re just under a lot of pressure.”

“I promise I’m not usually like this.”

“I know, that’s why I like you. But that’s also why this is so frustrating and why the other night hurt me so much. I know you’re not usually like this, I know how kind and caring and sweet you are. And if it wasn’t for all this, the fact that we work together, in this dynamic, I would’ve asked you out on a proper date weeks ago.” It’s true, if you haven’t worked with her, if you’d met her at school, at a cafe, just walking down the street, you would’ve already taken her out. You would’ve asked her on dates, but you couldn’t, not when you worked together.

“Then fuck all this,” she gestures to the room and the Canada logo on her own training top. “Just ask anyway.”

“I don’t want to get you or myself in trouble.” You look at the logo on her shirt, it wasn’t that easy to just say fuck it to the team, the team Jessie had represented since she was 15.

“We can talk to whoever we need to.” She spits out.

“Oh be for real Jessie we haven’t even gone on a date, we don’t need to be in Helen’s office signing paperwork already.” You give her a smile, it was nice she was willing to talk to Helen but a little too early.

A smile breaks on Jessie’s face. “Okay, maybe that was a little premature.” The smile from her face fades as she speaks again. “So, maybe we go with the original plan? Wait until these games are over, see where we’re at?”

You nod in agreement. “But for now, coworkers.”

“Coworkers.” Jessie repeats looking at you before a mischievous smile comes across her face.

“What?” You ask, somewhat afraid of what her answer might be.

“This is I think the third time we’ve agreed to be coworkers.” She scoffs.

“No, this time I’m serious.” You do your best to give her a stern look.

“You said that last time.” She laughs

“Shut up.” You can’t help but laugh with her, you two were terrible at being coworkers.

“At least it’s only a few more days and one more game.” She says softly after she’s done giggling.

“Only one more game.”

You quickly found yourself getting ready for that final game. The reality that you were helping prep players for an Olympic gold medal match had you a little extra nervous. Canada was taking on Spain. Reigning World Cup Champions Spain.

The first 90’ minutes of the game felt like they went by in a blink. When the whistle blew the score remained 0-0. Both teams had good shots, both keepers making impressive saves.

The extra time came and went as well and suddenly you felt like you were back a few days ago.

Penalties. Again.

You watch the first few players step up. Julia makes her penalty 1-0, a Spain player makes her’s as well, 1-1. Feeling overwhelmed, you stare at the ground for the next few players. You watch your feet, you don’t even need to watch. You can hear the silence followed by the kick and you get the answer on save or miss through the reactions of the staff standing next to you. Chloe misses, 1-1, Spain makes theirs 1-2, Jordyn makes it 2-2, a player from Spain misses 2-2, Ashley makes her kick, and the Spanish player misses wide, 3-2.

You feel a quick pinch at your side where your Mom’s hand was resting around your waist. You look up to her and she subtly nods toward the field. You turn and watch as Jessie picks up the ball. You can practically feel the air get sucked out of your lungs. She was taking Canada’s fifth and final kick. If she makes it, it’s over. If she misses, Spain has the chance to tie.

You watch her meticulously place the ball, adjusting it a few times. Once she’s satisfied with the ball, she takes three steps back, and looks down, closing her eyes for a moment. You held your breath, beginning to subconsciously time how long she was waiting. You started to panic, feeling like you could puke, it felt like she was waiting too long again, or maybe it just felt like time had frozen. Jessie opened her eyes, and began her approach. She kicked it and you watched as the ball slammed against the back of the net.

You’re practically yanked onto the field by those around you, you’re not even sure where you were running besides the mass of red and white in front of you. You end up in the mob of bodies, receiving random hugs from whoever was around you. You kept your eyes scanning hoping to find Jessie, her height not helping her stand out. You also know she’s likely in the middle of the mass of her teammates, scoring the winning penalty.

As the initial celebration dies down, the players begin to spread out. Some find their families in the crowd, others moving to sit and soak in the moment. You keep your eyes scanning, hoping to find the girl with the armband.

While you’re busy spinning in circles looking for her, someone grabs your hand from behind.

“Come here.” The captain had found you before you could find her. Jessie grabs your hand, pulling you out and away from the crowd. The two of you move over to the side of the pitch, not far off from her teammates but enough to be in your own space. She turns you toward her, dropping your hand.

“I thought about you.” She says, tears in her eyes, her hands holding your face between them, her thumbs gently rubbing your cheeks. “I thought about you when I took that kick. You were my calm person.”

“I almost threw up.” You admit to her.

“What?” Jessie says, a mix of concern and a smile across her face. Her hands are still on your cheeks.

“I was so nervous watching you kick.”

“Oh.” She laughs. “You’re the reason I wasn’t nervous.” You’re grateful Jessie was able to quickly move past the fact that you had almost thrown up from nerves, embarrassed that you even said it to her.

“Congratulations, you deserve it Jessie.” You say, finally getting out the words you prepared and meant to say when you first saw her.

“I wouldn’t have been here without you, you deserve this too.” Her eyes are still locked with yours. You both stand listening to the rest of the team celebrate behind you. You both break eye contact hearing some screaming getting louder.

“Wooooooooo” you watch as Janine goes running by, a flag in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other hand with Jordyn and Julia following shortly behind her yelling to give them back the bottle. You watch as Jessie rolls her eyes at her teammate’s behavior. You both turn back toward each other. This time Jessie’s eyes move down to your lips, then to your eyes and back to your lips. She moves her head slightly toward you.

“Jessie.” You warn her, you don’t want her to stop but you want to remind her that you’re both standing in a packed stadium with hundreds of cameras taking photos.

“Who cares.” She whispers before she starts to lean in again. You start to close your own eyes, not leaning in, wanting this to be her choice to kiss you in front of her team, her coaches, her family that was likely here.

“Congratulations Jessie.” You hear a voice you know all too well to the side of you. One of your Mom’s hands coming down on your shoulder while the other comes down on Jessie’s shoulder. You feel a slight push back on you, breaking up how close you and Jessie were.

Jessie’s hands fall from your face as she turns to look at your Mom.

“Oh, um, thank you, hey congratulations to you too, none of us would be here without all your hard work.”

“Thank you Jessie, assuming you were just thanking my daughter as well?” Your Mom gives you a quick glance, you know she’s teasing both of you, Jessie doesn’t get the message, trying to explain herself.

“Yeah, of course. I mean, she’s been great, um obviously, with my injury of course, my calf, she helped me a lot. I was thanking her for all that.” The way Jessie starts to stutter, tripping over her words as she tries to subtly deny the fact that she was about to kiss you, it was cute. You’re sure if she wasn’t already red in the face from playing, her cheeks would be from embarrassment.

“Hey if I don’t see you again before you players go out tonight, be safe, look out for each other.”

“We will.” Jessie assures your Mom before she walks away leaving you two again.

“She really has impeccable timing doesn’t she.” Jessie looks at you.

“She does.” You say before muttering “cockblock” under your breath only it comes out a little bit louder than you expected.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

You both stand for a second, your chance to kiss clearly over as you’ve both been brought back to reality of standing in the stadium, Jessie’s teammates still running around. You watch as she scans the crowd before her head stops moving and she waves.

“There’s my family.” She points in the direction she waved in and you see a small group of people waving back at her.

“Go.” You shove her in their direction and she looks at you giving you one last smile before taking off running in their direction. You watch her, looking at the back of her jersey as she runs away to be pulled into a group hug. You turn back to go find the rest of the staff, giving your congratulations to whoever you passed in a Canada shirt as they did the same back to you.

The stadium is soon only filled with a sea of red, the Spain supporters leaving. The podiums are brought out at you watch as they begin to set up for the medal ceremony.

The team is quickly ushered back into the changing rooms put on their designated podium outfits. They quickly come back out, lining up to step up and receive their medals.

You stand off to the side, watching as France steps onto the bronze medal platform, followed by Spain. And then you watch as the Canadian team steps up. You can’t help but feel tears in your eyes, watching the girls that you’ve been working with for countless days helping at training, at matches, helping them stretch on the bus or in a hotel room, all those moments, all they had worked for and they did it. You watched as they got their medals Jessie receiving hers from Janine and putting one around Sabrina’s neck.

You watched as Jessie picked up the medal around her neck, examining it with her hands, flipping it around. You watch as Janine leans over, saying something into Jessie’s ear, Jessie immediately picking up her head and looking in your direction. She gives you a smile when her eyes meet yours. Janine must’ve noticed you staring and told her. You give her a thumbs up before they begin playing all the national anthems.

Once the ceremony is finished you stand around a bit longer, watching all the players soak in the moment together. You find yourself catching Jessie’s eye every once in a while until she finally makes her way over to you.

“You’re coming out with us, right?” She slings an arm around your shoulder.

“Tonight?”

“Obviously, we’re going to go celebrate, we’ve got a bar rented out.” You had heard discussions of the post game celebrations, but never really read into them too much, you didn’t want to get too ahead of yourself thinking they’d win, it felt like you’d jinx them.

“I don’t want to intrude, if it’s a player thing.”

“It’s not, everyone’s invited, coaches, staff, families, everyone.” Jessie turns so her lips are against your ear. “Plus, I want you to be there.” She says quietly. You feel your skin prickle at her low voice and the feeling of her breath on your body.

You stumble over your own words as you agree to meet them at the bar later, your brain short circuiting from the feeling of her lips against your ear. “Oh, then yeah I’ll be there.”

You quickly found yourself a couple drinks in, courtesy of the Canadian foundation, in a rather large, but dark bar. Loud music and conversation filling the air. You had only arrived about an hour ago, thankfully it was within walking distance from the hotel. You had gone back and changed into a nicer pair of gray jeans and a simple Canada sweatshirt. Since you opted to change you did not arrive at the same time as Jessie, you had been unable to find her since arriving. You felt like you were back searching for her on the field after the match. Most of the players had remained in their sweatsuits, some changing into other t-shirts, sweatpants. You had found just about every other player, who all led you astray in which direction they last saw their captain.

You make your way back to the bar to get another drink, deciding you’ll just go sit with Olivia and the rest of the staff at the table they had occupied.

“Hey, where have you been?” You feel hands grab tightly onto your hips and you turn to see the brown eyes you’ve been looking for.

“Hi, I changed.” You gesture down to the fact that you were no longer wearing athletic clothing like you did while at work. “but I’ve been here an hour or so, I’ve been running around looking for you.”

“I’ve been looking for you.” Her eyes graze over your body. “You look good.” You can smell the alcohol radiating off of Jessie you’re not sure if it’s alcohol she’s consumed or if it’s just a mix of the champagne that was sprayed across her skin in celebration along with the smell of the bar. Her hands are still firm on your hips. “Come here.” She gently tugs you away from the bar.

“Hang on, let me grab this.” You reach for the beer the bartender had placed in front of you and then let yourself be pulled away.

She moves to grab your free hand instead and keeps pulling you, through the mass of red and white, back to the back corner of the bar and into a small hallway.

“Where are we going?” You ask when she finally stops walking.

“Here, where it’s just you and me.” Her hands find their way back to your hips and she pushes you back so you’re against the cool brick wall. “So we can do this.”

Her hand comes up to your cheek as it did after the game, but this time it doesn’t stop at your cheek she keeps moving it to the back of your neck, gently pulling you toward her and she moves in. This kiss was different than the rest, the rest had been timid, soft, gentle. This kiss was firm, her lips starting to move against yours immediately, its only a few seconds before you feel her tongue against your lips. You part your lips and let your own tongue graze against hers. You get the answer to your earlier question as you can taste the tequila and what you think is vodka on her tongue. The taste has you pulling back.

“Hey.” Jessie protests, a frown across her face.

“Are you drunk?” You put your hand without the beer against her chest, holding her back from leaning in to kiss you again.

“What?” She cooks her head at you.

“Are you just making out with me because you’re drunk? I can taste the liquor.”

“No you idiot, I mean yes I’ve been drinking, but I’m not drunk, plus I’ve wanted to makeout with you for weeks.”

“Okay but we’re in public. You team could see.” It’s not that you don’t believe her when she says she’s not drunk, it’s just you couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy with her choices to suddenly makeout with you in a bar, knowing she had definitely consumed something.

“I don’t care.”

“Jessie, no.” You step away from her..

“What? Oh come on? Because I’ve had three drinks? How many have you had?” She posed a fair question, she had had just as many drinks of you but you had been at the bar for far less time, if anyone was the problem here it would’ve been you.

“I just think you’re not fully considering the consequences of making out with me in a public bar. When you’re sober, we can do this.”

She leans down close to you and you think she’s going to kiss you again, but she brings her mouth toward your ear. “Okay, then I’m done drinking because I want to makeout with you. I promise I’m not drunk, not even tipsy, but if you want to wait that’s fine.”

“Okay.” You reply and Jessie turns walking back into the room. You follow her and watch as she makes her way to the bar, when she turns back she has two bottles of water in her hands.

“You should drink if you want to drink, it’s your night to celebrate.” You say when she comes over to your side, shaking one of the bottles of water at you. You don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t celebrate.

“No, I’m not a big drinker anyway, I had already decided to be done, I just got peer pressured into some shots with some of the youngsters when I first got here.” She takes a large sip of water.

“Jessie.” Your conversation is interrupted by hearing someone call from behind you and a girl runs up to her followed by two other men and a woman.

“Hi! Oh I’ve miss you.” Jessie takes the girl into a tight hug before releasing her and moving onto the next person hugging the next person.

“We’re so proud of you honey!”

“Thanks Mom.” Jessie mutters into the women’s hug. That's when you’re able to make the connection, this was Jessie’s family standing in front of you.

“This is my family, my mom, dad, sister and brother.” She points to each person. She introduced her family to you. She starts explaining how you’ve helped her with her injuries, and how you help everyone with stretching and staying healthy. She’s singing your praises to her family, making you blush standing next to her.

You stick around for a couple minutes as Jessie continues to talk about you. Not wanting to force her family to listen to stories about you, you tell Jessie you’ll be over at a table and leave her to enjoy the moment with her family.

You slide into a booth next to Janine and a few other people you didn’t know, assumed friends and family of the team. It doesn't take long for Janine to bring up the topic of Jessie.

“Just so you know,” Janine claps her hand hard against your back, giving you a slight shake. She leans in close to you. “I’m spending tonight, and probably the rest of the nights we’re here in his hotel room.” She points at the man next to you who now you recognize from photos to be her fiancé. “So there won’t be someone else in Jessie’s room.” You pull back to just look at her, you couldn’t believe what she was implying.

Janine must’ve thought you didn’t understand what she was suggesting when you didn’t respond. “Ya know, if you and a certain someone want to-”

“I know what you meant!” You spit out quickly. Taking a sip of the water you had. Upon your snappy response Janine quickly changed the subject, eying up the medal around her neck again, showing it to her fiancé.

It wasn’t long before you felt the booth sag next to you and Jessie alone with her sister found themselves next to you in the booth.

“Elysse!” Janine exclaims reaching over you and Jessie to attempt to hug the girl. Both of them leaning in pushes you and Jessie practically into each others laps.

“Sorry.” You apologize to Jessie, it wasn’t your fault but you felt like you were squishing her.

“All good.” She gives you a sweet smile before returning to her own personal space as Janine removes herself from across you two.

“Hey.” she slaps Jessie’s leg getting her attention. “I just finished telling this one that-” You almost go to cover Janine’s mouth with your hand. You know she’s been drinking and you also knew what was about to come out of her mouth. But you don’t stop her, instead you tilt your head down clenching your eyes hoping it’ll stop Janine’s words, only it doesn’t. “I’ll be in Ethan’s hotel room the rest of the trip, if you want to use it.”

“Oh.” You can feel Jessie’s eyes burning into the side of your head as you slowly open your eyes and send a pointed look in Janine’s direction.

“What?” She says, reading the uncomfortable looks you and Jessie were both giving her. “Oh what, do you two really think you’re doing such a good job of keeping it secret? You were practically making bedroom eyes at each other during the medal ceremony today.”

“Janine!” Jessie shouts at her friend before just shaking her head. You finally have the courage to take a glance at Jessie, her eyes are wide, she looks uncomfortable, you can also see her sister behind her looking between you and Jessie, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Alright, it might be time to get you out of here.” Janine’s fiancé says, grabbing Janine’s hand as he stood up. He gives a quick wave at the table, half as an apology, half as a goodbye. You all wave back to him and Janine and they walk into the mass of people.

You sat for a little bit longer, some teammates coming to join your table for a few minutes to chat before they’d run off to talk with someone else. It was only an hour later that Jessie’s Dad found his way to the table. “Jess, we’re going to get out of here, it’s late and we’re not young anymore, we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah of course.” Jessie responds, she smacks your leg a few times then pointing to the side of you. You get the hint and stand up to let her out of the table. You watch as she stands up giving her Dad a tight hug.

“Coming now or later?” Her Dad looks at Jessie’s sister.

“Now, just give me a second to use the restroom.” She nods and her Dad walks away after they agree to meet outside.

“I don’t have to pee, I just wanted him to walk away. You two enjoy your night without Janine.” She says with a wink and a look between the two of you. You look over to Jessie who’s sporting a blushed red face. Her sister stands up to hug her and whispers something into Jessie’s ear, making her turn even more red. She gives you a quick wave and heads in the direction of the door.

“I think I’m going to call it a night too, feeling tired.” You say, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of the day hit you all at once. A yawn coming out of your mouth.

“I was actually thinking the same thing.” Jessie flashes you a smile. “Would you want to walk together?” You’re not sure if Jessie actually was ready to go or just decided she was going to leave since you were.

“That would be nice.” You take the empty water bottle from her hand and toss it onto the bin with yours. “Do you need to say bye to anyone?” Jessie just shakes her head.

“Do you?” You shake your head back. Your Mom had gone out with some of the older training staff, not wanting to be in a rowdy bar, Olivia was still around but you’d text her later letting her know you were back in your room. You’re not sure even if you said goodbye to anyone if they’d remember it in the morning or not.

The night was quiet when you stepped outside of the bar, Jessie shortly behind you. You start walking in the direction of the hotel and she quickly jogs to catch up. The two of you walk side by side down the roadway.

“Does it feel different the second time?” You break the silence asking.

“Does what feel different?” Her pace slows down as she turns her head to look at you.

“Winning gold.”

You hear her breathe in and then watch as she tilts her head slightly, deep in thought.

“It’s different, but I’m not sure if it's the winning that’s different. Last time it was an empty stadium, we didn’t get to do the celebrations with family and friends, there weren’t people watching, it felt so isolated, but it was in a weird way more peaceful. We got to just sit on the field, really soak it in.” She took another breath. “We didn’t get to do that, even if we could’ve there would’ve been fans, it would’ve been rowdy. Not to say one is better than the other, but yeah it’s different. I also wasn’t captain last time, so this time was more stressful, I felt like a lot of it was on me. Even though I know it wasn’t, it just felt that way.”

You hum acknowledging her answer as you walk into the lobby of the hotel. It’s thankfully pretty empty, Jessie's teammates still out celebrating and only a few other country’s athletes sitting around. You both get into the elevator, you press the button and you can feel a tension building as you ride up in silence. When you get out you walk Jessie to her door first, wanting to be polite and make sure she gets in alright.

“I’m sorry if Janine made it weird earlier. I'm not sure why she said that. I mean I get it but, I don’t want you to think I told her that was going to happen or anything. I don’t expect it to.” Jessie turns before she puts her keycard to the door.

“It’s all good. Little uncomfortable, especially with your sister there but it’s alright.” You shrug. It was uncomfortable but you didn’t mind too much, you had already forgotten about the conversation until Jessie brought it up again.

“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll have to explain myself to her later, she thought it was funny, she teased me for how red I got.”

“Yeah.” You both stand awkwardly outside of Jessie’s hotel room, you shift your weight between your feet, swaying slightly.

“Um, do you want to-”

“Have a goodnight-”

You both speak at the same time.

“Go ahead.” She gestures to you.

“I was just going to say goodnight.” You didn’t want to invite yourself into her hotel room despite Janine’s offer.

“Oh, yeah okay.” You can tell she seems a little disappointed.

“What were you saying?”

“I was going to invite you in?” Jessie looks up at you, her eyes with a glimmer of hope in them. She blinks quickly a few times before adding “Only if you want to, you don’t have to, I’m not expecting anything, you don’t even have to stay very long if you don’t want to, I just thought,”

“Jessie.” You cut her off, able to tell she was starting to overthink by the way her hands were fidgeting. “I’d like to come in.” You say before you lean down, now it’s her back pressed against the wall as your lips find hers. You pull away before any of her teammates or god forbid your mother decides to take a trip down the hallway and sees you two. Jessie turns to unlock the door and you follow her inside. You pull your phone out quickly texting Olivia.

You: Probably not coming back to the room at all tonight, or if I do it’ll be late, don’t worry about me I’m safe.

It takes a minute but she responds.

Olivia: Thanks for the heads up, I expect all the details of your escapades tomorrow

Olivia: seriously though, be safe, don’t do anything stupid.

You look up from your phone over at Jessie, thinking to yourself at least if you “do” anything, it wasn’t considered doing anything stupid, Jessie was smart.

[comiverse]

Random Ink headcanons:

• Either he doesn't understand the purpose of the fourth wall, or he just doesn't care. Either way, he is NOT afraid to break it.

• He reads Undertale and Sans AU fanfics all the time, and he has no shame in doing so.

• He's been heavily tempted to paint some of the ship kids into existence, just to see how the other Sanses would react.

• His attention span usually lasts around 13 seconds without distractions, but he won't be able to focus at all if there's literally anything remotely interesting happening around him.

• The only thing he can really focus on is art, and he will often have hyperfixated episodes of manic creating for hours on end.

• He can't stand leaving any drawings unfinished; even if he doesn't directly remember his past, his subconscious recognizes unfinished drawings as too similar to his trauma.

• He always wins every game of Clue. Every. Fucking. Time.

• 90% of the time, he chooses Paper when playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

• Half of the time, he can't remember why he and Error are supposedly enemies. It's why he tends to get confused when Error reacts so harshly towards him.

• He has 100% pulled the 'I heard you were talking shit about me' vine on someone, and he had crawled up out of the ground from one of his ink portals to do it.

• He not only writes things on his scarf to remember, but he also has multiple mini notebooks stored in his scarf too.

• He also writes notes on his arms and legs in an attempt to cover up the whiteness of his bones. He always gets upset when the notes rub or wash off.

• He heavily envies Error's melanoid bones, and he wishes that he had bones like Error.

[chrissbluehat]

Nervous

Part 1 2 3 4

Pairing : y/n and Chris Sturniolo

Summary: You lived a pretty standard life, you kept to yourself mostly, and never felt you drew the eyes of anyone. Though this always felt conflicting when comparing yourself to friends. This was until a boy came into your life and flipped it completely around.

My account is a little more alive now so I'm posting this part :)

In that moment it felt like the world stopped, everything other than this paper felt like a blur. I continued looking down at the paper in awe until I fell conscious and felt the flush of my cheeks snapping me out of the trace I unknowingly fell into. My eyes quickly shot up to make sure no eyes had been on me in those moments, glancing quickly at Masie who luckily was in her own world and unaware of the wall around mine. I finished gathering my things and slotted the paper into the front pocket of my bag and walked off to my first class.

Through the day, as per usual, the idea of Chris swirled around my head and consumed me as if I was some kind of unsuspecting prey that was never fast enough to escape the grasp of him. Though the thought had a fresh concept. Messaging Chris. He must have somehow gotten my number and gave me his in hopes I wanted to reach out first, it didn’t make sense that he would just give out his first and not need mine otherwise. I wondered if he expected me to reach out first, I mean the idea was not that terrifying it’s not like i’m asking him out. Simply just starting a conversation between two friends. Friends. The idea had me shiver in my seat slighting, resulting in a quick glance from the kid that sat next to me in chemistry. I glanced back, shooting her a quick smile and then sinking back into my thoughts. 

What was I even supposed to say really, I thought to myself. I mean he's so awkward that I can't imagine just saying “hi” and hoping he starts a proper conversation. I dreaded the idea of small talk. It's so incredibly awkward and both parties want it to do nothing but end. No one truly cares for what is being said between the two, I hated the idea of dry conversations in hopes that it sparks something more than what they currently had.

I then thought about the number a bit more. Maybe he was using it as a ploy to work out how down bad I was. I mean who still hands out their number like that, it’s not the 90’s? If anything he should have given me his snap or something or just added me though I also didn’t want that kind of romance that doesn’t fill the right void, it all felt slightly artificial which is the last thing you want in a relationship.

I snapped out of my thoughts at the mention of homework, causing me to internally groan. I understood why we had to do homework but that didn’t make me hate it any less. I quickly copied down anything that seemed remotely important as the bell went off, I gathered my things and headed off.

Until lunch my thoughts remained pretty consistent, silently wondering if he would message me or if I would have to initiate the interaction. I had also wondered if I should tell Jenna. I didn’t want to constantly hide things from her, I knew that would start more fights between us but I couldn't bring myself to let her know. She was already disappointed in me for even talking to him, I couldn't tell her about the number. 

I walked into the lunch hall and took my usual seat next to Jenna. In that moment the guilt ate at me a little more than it had before, sitting next to her and acting as if I wasn’t betraying her word, more day in and day out. I tried to shake the thought out of my head as she started talking about something that had happened in her English Language class but my mind continued to wonder. The last person I wanted to see at that moment then walked past our table with his friends. I looked up as if instinctively and made eye contact with chris. I tried to hold back the blush I could feel coming but I knew it was written across my face so I looked down and leaned onto my hand and averted my gaze back to Jenna as she continued to talk. I could feel a couple eyes on me. Since Masie's confrontation the other day the girls make small comments about him when he’s close which is always slightly embarrassing, especially since I was trying to act like I liked him no more than a friend. A table of girls giggling whenever you walk past isn’t really getting the right message out.

“You guys don’t have to giggle every time he walks by, I don’t like him like that, we’re barely friends”, I said lowly glancing over at Masie who gave me a look that told me she didn’t believe a word of what I’d just said.

“Sure sure”, Lily chimed. 

“That’s not even funny Lily”,

“Guys she doesn’t like him, just stop talking about him”, Jenna added, taking the attention off of me, causing me to relax slightly. The bell eventually went off and we all headed off in different directions.

Back at home my mind was back on the number, it made me want to bang my head against a way in hopes the thought would disintegrate at impact. I threw myself onto my bed and put the number into my phone and labelled it just “Chris”, I would have labelled it ‘loml’ as a joke but I didn't want him to somehow see it and connect the dots. I opened the chat and started mindlessly typing in hopes it sparks something worth sending, but nothing really came of it. Instead I tossed my phone to the side and stressed to myself silently. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. What if he regretted even giving me the number? My hands tangled into my hair and I groaned to myself. Why did he have so much control over how I felt? A part of me loved it but the other part made me wish i’d never spoken to him in the first place, the tug he’s had on my life since sometimes didn’t feel like it was completely worth it. In the end I decided to wait for him to message me first, I didn't want to come off too desperate, I mean surely it would happen soon enough. The rest of the evening I would glance at the notification bar of my phone, checking for his name. But the message never arrived. I sighed and went to bed wondering why he never messaged and questioned the whole situation. I wouldn’t be shocked if I woke up with a head of greys considering how much this boy makes me stress.

The next day I decided not to address it in homeroom, I didn't want to make things awkward. It was easier to act as if the whole thing hadn’t happened, it saved us both the slight embarrassment I know we would both be feeling.

The following week Jenna didn’t come in, she was apparently too sick to come in leaving me alone or at least I thought. The monday went by slowly and felt as if it dragged on a bit without her there. I hated school when she wasn‘t in, it felt more daunting than it usually did. Yes I had other people to hang with and I wasn't completely alone but they didn’t fill the void like Jenna did as much as I loved them. By Tuesday Chris picked up on my absence at lunch the day before. “Is your friend not in?”,

“Nope, how did you pick that up?”, I furrow my eyebrows slightly confused.

“Well you were obviously in yesterday because I saw you in the morning but then I didn’t see you or that girl at lunch so i was just wondering”.

“Yeah Jenna isn’t in, she’s sick so she's off for the rest of the week”,

“Oh”, he hummed. He suddenly reached down. I noticed him rustling around in his bag but I tried to avert my attention back to what I was doing so that he didn‘t think I was nosing on him, he then pulled out a book and grabbed a loose piece of paper hanging out of it and placed it on the table and retreated back to bag to grab a pen. I then felt a small tap on my shoulder, I turned to look at Chris, whose attention was on the piece of paper he had just pulled out of his bag. I looked down and realised it was homework. “Help”, he shot me a smile causing me to giggle. I grabbed the paper and he passed me the pen. 

“No, take the pen back, I'm only explaining it. You’ll never learn to do it yourself if I do it for you”, I laugh. He rested his face in his face and mumbled something that I didn't quite catch. I showed him how to work out his algebra homework, and as per usual he did it as lazily as possible. 

“Do I really need to show all this working out? I mean how else would I have gotten to the answer, this is so annoying”,

“It saves them moaning at you when you hand it, just show your working out”. He rolled his eyes and smiled going back to write on his paper. I talked him through the rest of the work and the bell eventually went off. We put our things away and he got up and headed out of the class shooting a quick smile at me and mouthed “thanks” before turning out of the door. 

The rest of the lessons rolled by again slowly without jenna. When i was leaving class for break olivia caught up with me and asked if I wanted to hang out with them since she realised I wasn’t there the day before, but I kindly turned down the offer and pretended I had to be somewhere but in reality I was heading towards a tree that was slightly shielded from the rest of the playground. It was peaceful there and shady which was nice in the heat that ran through the air currently. I sat down and grabbed my phone out of my bag, resting against the tree. A little after I heard footsteps approaching my space, I looked up and noticed it was chris. I furrowed my eyebrows. “What are you doing here?”

“My friends are in detention”, I laugh. 

“Why?”

“They don’t have a smart friend that can explain algebra to them”. He gave me a small smile, causing me to smile back at him, though the mention of friends was simmering around in my mind but I swallowed it down and acted as if it meant nothing to me because we were just friends and it shouldn’t hurt to hear him say it. 

“So you used me to get out of detention, I feel so valued”, I laughed pretending to be offended.

“You’re so dramatic”, he smiled down at me. His cheshire smile could light a hundred dark rooms, I fell harder every time I saw it, it made me melt but I had to hold myself and pretend I was completely normal about the guy in front of me. “Why aren’t you with your friends again?”,

“I’d rather be alone”,

“Oh do you want me to go then?” I took a second. Obviously I didn't want him to go. That was the last thing I'd ever want but he couldn’t know that. I shake my head causing him to smile. He sat down next to me, maintaining a reasonable distance and glanced down at my phone.

“Stop eyeing my phone, you’ll judge my feed”, I laughed, turning it away from him.

“Why, it will help me understand you better”,

“And why would you need to do that?,

“Because you don’t give off very much”, I tilt my head at him. “What you don’t”, he laughs, grabbing my phone from me and starts to scroll. If he was anyone else I would have fought for my phone back but for some reason not even a part of me cared for it back.

 We sat together for most of break talking about random things. He then sat back and realised the time. “I should probably get going, their detention must be over now”. He got up and dusted himself off and started to head off, waving me off. I waved back and then watched as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and started typing into it. I started to get myself together to head back to class, but then I heard my phone ping beside me. I picked it up and the screen lit up. His name was on my screen.

[skibasyndrome]

Hey Simon 💜,

4,9, 15, 16, 18, 21, 25 and 62 for the ask game. Please feel free to leave some out or answer some you would really like to answer!

Hey Sophia! Thank you so much for your ask!!! 💜💜💜 we're about to find out just how bad my memory about all aspects of my life is

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

kgdfghadfkg I feel like they never said anything to my face, so who knows tbh. But I think I was considered a very stereotypical pleasure to have in class, very quiet, straight-a student, that kind of situation. I know my kindergarten teachers deeeeesperately tried to get me to socialize more, but I don't remember complaints like that in elementary school. oh right there was also all the bullying whoops I almost forgot but like. nothing much said during discussions about that either

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Petrichor!!!! the smell after rain!!!!! my favorite smell in the world!!!!!!! close second might be freshly mowed lawn, close third is warm sun-screen-covered skin

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Schlafes Bruder by Robert Schneider. Oh you my beloved fucked up story about a fucked up remote town where a fucked up artist guy falls into obsessive unrequited love and then decides to end it all by refusing to fall asleep. Because everything is fucked up and his emotions are too big. Oh and there's a repressed gay side-character. Everything in this book is wonderfully hopeless <3 I thought about this one recently, I think it influenced me in many ways tbh. The way Schneider describes the main character experiencing sound has always been so fascinating to me and has probably reinforced my love for writing lots of unnecessary details into my fics

18. ideal weather?

generally: something where I'm not sweating, so like?? anything up to?? 15°C maybe? If we're talking overall then: heavy, heavy rain. Oh my very beloved. I can live in heavy rain forever.

21. obsession from childhood?

See this is one of those questions where I'm like??? what does it mean????? An obsession from childhood I still have?? or one that i don't have anymore?

one that I don't have anymore is, Germans, you might get this: Wilde Kerle <3 I had a big gay crush on Leon/Jimi Blue Ochsenknecht that was so strong I even briefly deluded myself into thinking I like football

25. first song you remember hearing?

that is. impossible to answer omg. I don't think I know?? But what I do know is that my dad had a certain compilation CD that has become a bit of an inside joke with me and my friends because whenever there's an 80s/90s/early-2000s German song that comes on anywhere and no one knows it, but I'm immediatelly singing long it's like "aaaaaaah. it's from Simon's dad's CD". Kindergarten and pre-kindergarten me was OBSESSED with that CD and I was always begging my dad to let me sit in his office and draw while the CD was on on repeat. I also made him burn me a copy later on <3

That's the beautiful CD:

62. seven characters you relate to?

Why would you ask me............ a guy who doesn't consume media....... this...... (jk, this is a very fun question actually, I just think I'm woefully unfit to answer it </3)

Wille

Simon in a few select ways

Vladimir (Simon Beckett's En attendant Godot/Waiting for Godot) in a way that I could not possibly begin to explain

Gabriel (George Sand's Gabriel) in a dramatically genderqueer way

and that's it, I can't for the life of me think of anyone else 😭 I think it's 90% a memory issue, because usually I always find some select way to relate to most characters I read about, but I just can't think of any rn

send me weird asks if you feel like it <3

[devonhinged]

[FFxivWrite2024] Steer

I tried. It's about Saga's relationship with magiteks and chocobos and there's a coherent point in it somewhere if you maybe squint hard enough

-

"You'd have experience riding an animal, no?" 

Saga nodded to his supervisor. An Elezen man of middling age. His walking cane claps alongside his wide heels, a particular pair of sound that had always given his arrival from malms away. He brought Saga into the large garage west of the landing where they test magitek mobiles. Big and small. Saga rarely gets to this side of the factory. In fact, he's rarely able to see any finished armour at all. 

"Well, then just imagine it's more or less the same." They briskly walked towards one newly assembled magitek reaper, shiny and smelling of fresh coating. An association pops up in his mind. His eyes traced its shape from its singular steel claws, to the strangely avian "beak" and legs. The bat-like wings on each side of its cockpit. What is this, a mockery of....

"A chocobo…?" 

The heels squeaked on the floor as the supervisor abruptly stopped. Saga shouldn't have said anything. 

"Ah, even better. Then you’ve gotten the feel of steering a two legged mobile." He said, cracking his red splotched knuckles two, three times. “Well then. At the end of this fiscal year at least, you'll get your qualification. Should be enough time for you to learn, right?”

"Yessir."

“Any, other questions.” He pushed his sleeves back to check his watch. 

“Nossir.”

He tapped Saga’s shoulder firmly and staggering him backwards. 

"Keep in mind, keep this a secret from your boss. She’d make it difficult if she found out I'm trying to steal her lackeys again.” Then, with a grimace, he nodded for emphasis, “Just pass all your tests." 

“... Yessir.”

“If you are to be a technician you have to understand the machines in its whole. What better way than to master the end product, no? That is the tests’ purpose.” He let go, finally. ”So go on and start giving one a ride.”

“This one, sir?” 

“Of course not.” He started walking away. “Talk to one of the young men over there and they'll give you the course. Don't take too long.”

The clapping of heels and cane slowly echoed away. Saga was tiny in that garage. 

-

Despite its cumbersome main body, he supposed the engineering of its two legs and joints made it possible to steer the reaper in a relatively agile manner. They maintain speed atop steep slopes and stairs, into sharp 90 degree angles, and even perform an explosive enough jump to go over concrete fences. It’s not even remotely close to steering a chocobo, not at all, not even the slightest. But perhaps his supervisor meant that it requires… the same mindset?

This one given to him doesn't smell of coating, only rubber and exhaust. Saga’s palm sweated around the controls stick. He had to wipe his hands on the side of his pants several times. He didn't know why. When he thought about it, he'd seen these reapers before. Perhaps when he still lived in Rabanastre. Perhaps in a picture. Hey, these leg joints honestly looked like a headache to maintain. Is a technician going to deal with that often? He didn't like thinking about it. 

He wished these were truly like chocobos. He's quite upset that his supervisor would lie about that. He missed those birds, and he missed the farm. Whenever he gets to come back, the chocobos are the first thing he's checking!

—

Cold breeze swept past the Shroud. It brought the smell of coins. It is usually very still here, so still he'd have a hard time traversing it unnoticed. Then again so does everything else, including these small groups of Garlean soldiers. 

Saga stepped over their dead bodies and kicked the model [insert random numbers] reaper. Normally he'd take a knife to it immediately and dislodge the ceruleum tank out of its belly—sell it for weeks worth of gil to some Ishgardian merchant—but he felt strangely morose about this one. He climbed and dragged the pilot out of its cockpit, careful not to get blood everywhere, and got in it himself. 

If he is seen driving this around the duskwights would have a field day with him, but how nice would it be to have a vehicle to move around here eh? Especially after the calamity. If it isn't disgustingly loud maybe he could use it for a supply trip. Too bad its fate is to be butchered into scraps. 

He noticed movements in the corner of his eye many yalms over. Likely a carnivore smelling blood. But, as he observed longer, it was clearly a bright red creature. What poor animal is given those hide amongst these foliages? 

Perhaps… its fate would also be under his knife, he thinks, licking his lip. Saga abandoned this stupid bout of sentimentality and jumped down, fishing out several arrows from his quiver into his hand. 

What came into view however, was a chocobo with feathers a deep shade of red. The yellow barding of the Adder’s Nest is a bigger contrast as a result. It must've escaped. Have they started shipping Dalmascan chocobos into Eorzea? Must be an expensive venture. Saga would be putting a bright red target on his head for doing this, but….

—

Welp I ran out of time. So he definitely stole that chocobo and got attached instead of selling it (or eating it.) Let's just leave it at that

[conanssummerchild]

Season 2: Episode 13 "A-Tisket, A-Tasket"

previous // next

I find Dean hating Jess because "He's here, he's breathing. That's enough." very funny. I do not, however, find the whole town hating Jess in that way as funny because, you see, Dean is a teenager whose relationship with Rory is constantly being threatened by some guy who just popped out of nowhere and is CONSTANTLY trying to wind him up, the rest of the town are grown ass adults hating a teenager because he *checks notes* pulled a couple of harmless pranks? Even though his uncle and only current caretaker has been a staple to the town for his whole life, they can't even pretend to tolerate a 17 y/o boy for him.

Jackson getting so upset with Sookie because he didn't make it even remotely clear that he wanted to move in with her and she didn't realise because he didn't just fucking tell her is ridiculous behaviour and Sookie put so much work into that basket for Jackson to just let that go to waste because he was busy throwing a hissy fit. They could've talked about all that before Kirk got the basket. Also insane how Rory's crappy basket went for 90 dollars and Sookie's masterpiece went for 35.

Rory is such an idiot in this episode tbh, like either tell Jess to fuck off and go have lunch with your boyfriend or break up with Dean already and date Jess instead. Either Rory was making a dumb excuse to hang out with Jess, in which case she needs to stop leading Dean on and messing with his head already, or she really is stupid enough to let Jess get in the middle of her relationship because "It's tradition. ���" and she needs to follow the rules that bad.

Jess shouldn't have been screwing around in Rory's relationship in the first place and pursuing her when he knew fully well she was taken and he's a jerk, we know that, but tbh he probably would've given up at some point and moved on to terrorising some other poor unsuspecting couple if Rory didn't keep enabling him. Dean was completely justified in being mad in this episode, Rory gaslit him into thinking he was overreacting while going to lunch by the lake with another guy and flirting with him. Also she didn't have to go get pizza and go to the bookstore and spend the rest of the afternoon with Jess after their fake lunch by the lake, but she did, even though she knew Dean was already upset.

Lorelai and Dean both agreeing that Jess is the problem is ridiculous. Yes, Jess is flirting with a girl who is in a relationship, but Rory's the one in the relationship, she needs to commit to Dean, Jess doesn't. And she isn't so stupid and clueless like everyone seems to want to think, she has her own free will and she doesn't have to reciprocate, yet she does. Jess IS being a problem, but Rory isn't a saint either. Also Lorelai should not be getting involved the way she is, please fuck off.

Rory and Jess just have so much chemistry and so much more in common than her and Dean. I don't see them like long-term or anything because they were always kind of out of sync, when Rory was sweet and confident in her future, Jess had a lot of shit he needed to work on before he could be in a real relationship and when Jess had finally worked on himself, Rory was completely lost and he was too good for her.

What is this "dangerous vibe" that Jess aparently has? Like bro he's a little moody it's not like he's out there going on killing sprees and smoking crack, he got into 1 fight (not counting the later one with Dean because it hasn't happened yet) and he's 'dangerous'? The people of Stars Hollow would hate ME.

Other thoughts:

"Sold to the nice young hoodlum in the back for $90." 💀 Also Jess spending $90 just to fuck with someone is ridiculous and exactly the kind of thing he would do.

Jess's hair looks better fluffed up, idk why it's different in this episode and then normal for the rest of the show. Did he think copying Dean's hair (but botching it) would make Rory date him or smth LOL. Dean and Jess both have great hair (usually), I'm very jealous.

Dean saying "Buck" instead of just saying fuck is my 13th reason, what the hell.

Sookie is so beautiful everytime she's on screen I can't even think straight. She should've married me instead of Jackson.

Lorelai's outfit in this episode is one of my favourites from her:

Kinda giving me Nancy from Stranger Things vibes.

I really like that we see Jess consistently repeating the same few outfits. Because he didn't really bring many clothes. It's just a nice detail imo.

Lorelai needs to just ask Luke out already, this is getting ridiculous. I hope she paid him back for the price of her basket, but know she didn't. Also Luke is so real for "You don't eat with your mouth open, do you?" I HATE when people chew with their mouth open.

I felt really bad for Lane in this episode :(.

"You wanna push me in the lake? It's cathartic, I hear." "Maybe in a little bit." "Whenever." Love this interaction lol.

"Yes, Jess has a few issues." "Yeah, one issue is that he's a complete jerk." Get his ass Dean.

Lorelai just loves playing the victim.

Emily is ICONIC in this episode making Lorelai realise how fucking stupid she sounds.

[kateneedscuddles]

A Peek into My Brain 🧠

~Story time~

Someone once told me that, “the reason why most of us suffer is because we have been doomed to be a prison of flesh and bone that confines the soul; and the only time we are aware of this tragedy is when the scream of the captive resonates with the one let out by the captor.”

Obviously, I was a little surprised (cause the only time when he says anything remotely profound is when he has not slept in 2 days). After processing all that (aka punching him), I’m still not able to shake this weird feeling.

It kinda makes sense, but at the same time, I don't want it to.

Anyways, those are the kind of idiots that I usually hang out with so if I ever end up writing something along those lines, it's going to be cause of a random 3am conversation about life and death.

It's not gonna be because I'm feeling sad or depressed.

Nor because of the constant contemplation on what the meaning of life is, and how the lack of any such meaning increases the appeal of becoming a lifeless entity.

So

.

.

.

A fun fact about me is that I am good at convincing people into believing my lies. I like to talk about normal things and 'dark' things, like murder, death, and conspiracy to take over the world; and I love dark humor. I'm not a big fan of horror movies, but I wouldn't mind dressing up like 'the nun' for a harmless prank.

A good song would brighten my day, even if the entire day was filled with negatives. Similar results can be achieved by reading a manga with a happy ending or watching a movie that doesn't make me cry at the end of it or just talking about random nonsense for a while.

I'm a romantic at heart who values honesty. If I get the slightest clue that I'm being deceived, I will write you off in a second. In a conversation, I'd rather be the listener than the talker. If you ever need someone to just sit with you and listen to you for hours on end, then I'm your gal. The only time when I would happily be the talker is when I feel like filling any awkward silences. I don't really know why I do it, but I'd say some of the most bizarre things just to keep the conversation going.

I have a TBR list that's a mile long, but the only thing I read these days is a research article. The worst part is that the former brings me happiness (if the author was a nice person and didn't kill any of the characters) and the latter just makes me want to claw my eyes out 90% of the times. As for the remaining 10%, I would usually end up liking the topic and the methods used to get to the conclusion and then search for a few more articles that are linked or used as references for that one. I'm also working towards becoming a polyglot.

As much as I love to take charge of my life and do the best that I can every day, I would kill to just be free of it all for a day. Just one day wherein I'm not worried about anything, and all I must do is relax, drink a piña colada, and stare into nothingness. I might read a book, buy a book, or watch a movie adaptation of a book. But the one thing I wouldn't stop doing is relaxing.

In this space, I would be posting something original . There might be some instances wherein I might end up reblogging all the things that I found to be cute, interesting, amazing, or fascinating, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. There will be some NSFW posts as well, which would be labeled as such, but I would still prefer it if you wouldn't follow me if you weren't 18+. Any blogs that don't have an age specified in the description will be blocked.

I would love to use this space to connect with people who could help me with my journey to become a polyglot. In order to do that, I would be occasionally posting things that I would be writing in the language that I'm learning, so please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm not sure if this is enough/TMI to be considered as a good intro, but I'm gonna stop here. Asks are open, in case you feel like talking or asking something. You can DM me as well. Just please be respectful and not outright rude. If you do that, you will be blocked.

For everyone who has stumbled across my page, I hope you have a good day! And if you're planning to stick around for a while, then it's nice to virtually meet you!

[vonkarma2]

why I don't like pokemon rocketshipping

james pokemon is gay whereas jessie pokemon is bisexual to this day i think shipping them sucks. it's like this ↓

this post was meant to be the above minus the title and nothing else but then I went insane. so now i will articulate my feelings, which i have had in mind since i got really into team rocket for a few months in 2020 because of lockdown induced susceptibility.

i can also see straight or lesbian for jessie and james can be bisexual so long as you acknowledge they are both theater people. which ordinarily i dislike as a hc because i dislike theater people usually but in this case it is objective fact. this brief clip here will help demonstrate my vision

for example in sun and moon anime they crashed a group of children's school play because jessie was jealous of not being in the spot light. which brings me to my next point that due to being a cartoon for young children this material is obviously very silly, to the point where mapping any of it onto anything based in reality or taking it remotely seriously is very ridiculous. which is why i am moving into just make an oc territory at this point. but I think the huge part of the charm is that these characters are preexisting, and came into the world naturally, because some childrens cartoon execs thought it would be funny for one of the recurring villains to be kind of gay. the crossdressing, the moltres outfit.. we lost so much when they turned the homophobia down over time 😔. that's a joke.

(and don't get me wrong, it is kind of homophobic, given these are the villains and the characters you're supposed to laugh at and think are ridiculous, including because of the gay shit. i don't want to not take it seriously at all like even vague homophobia (and transphobia of course) in a kids' cartoon is insane. but they aren't evil per se and are more silly and sympathetic than anything, and iirc correctly they don't draw attention to the cross dressing? it just kinda happens rather than like ash and misty are like ewww a guy in a dress or whatever. but I could be wrong about this. there's also a discussion to be had about japanese vs american attitudes to this kind of thing especially in the 90s but we are getting off track enough as it is. did you know meowth was originally voiced by a trans woman isn't that cool :))

anyone can make a flamboyant guy and girl pair of ocs, and many have, but there isn't the same sense of unexpectedness or sincerity that makes the pleasantly surprisingly plausible gay jokes as fun to make. there is external, light hearted validation for this kind of hc in pop culture because of pokeani, and these specific characters' popularity.

similarly, i also think the ridiculousness of the source material makes adding even a little more grounding in reality very charming. highlighted in yellow is some evidence for this point. (the orange is highlighted because it's relevant to my next point and the blue is highlighted because it's hilarious).

in my opinion, the yellow text here is pretty funny, notably with regards to how it considers age as a legitimate factor. as a cartoon character in a long running show, james emphatically cannot age, and yet this writing proposes that he does, and attributes changing writing decisions to this process. the author paints a somewhat stereotypical image of someone exhausted by a dead end job. that person being a saturday morning cartoon villain. it's cute. i think this kind of portrayal whether in fan art, fan fics, or just posts like this, that treats an exaggerated fictional world with not serious emotional gravitas but mere realism, is very charming. especially when you consider he's also being portrayed as a gay man specifically, and yet still meant to be sympathized with by a presumably heterosexual audience. i know it's stereotypical, but i think the inclusion of those details makes the ties to reality more endearing through being more culturally specific and sympathetic to an outgroup.

like the writers of pokeani, the author of this 2006-looking neocities page was likely not gay themself, which makes it interesting they were such a fervent james is gay truther, dedicated enough to the point where they probably see it as a positive more interesting than ignoring the subtext. definitely not saying they went about it in the best way (this excerpt is pretty harmless , but some other parts of their page haven't aged as well, and it's clear they aren't actively trying to be progressive), but it's an interesting perspective thinking about internet culture at that time. predating broader movements of both progressivism and homophobia, and the formation of internet-based subcultures we know today. that was mostly a tangent but i included the link to my source yayyy <3

so now we have seen that adding reality, including specific cultural details that one can relate to or appreciate in some way, is fun, and i think it can be pretty charming as well. and in this case i think we have the potential to compare the characters to dynamics underrepresented in popular media. ok stay with me on this part. remember how the orange said jessie is a huge bitch.

here i am disrespecting this completely serious and kind of beautiful substack essay by comparing it to pokemon characters. but we can clearly see this exact kind of relationship depicted between the jessie and james in their lifelong, codependent friendship. (we can also compare these figures' status as outsiders to jessie and james being career criminals in universe and perenially misfortunate saturday morning cartoon villains on a meta level).

i am not saying this because i take team rocket seriously as characters in the fandom angst sense, or the sense that the show has good writing. i mean it in the sense that it's fun when there is something in pop culture that you have the ability to claim as part of your/a subculture, even if that wasn't the intention. an unintentional reflection of reality in something that was meant to be purely mainstream, and is clearly a joke, but you can joke about it as someone who is genuinely familiar with that kind of relationship in reality, or at least more respectful of it than before. unlike the essay, but much like the chris fleming clip above.

i really want to draw attention to the gender roles here as well. as stated in the essay, this is what the gay guy/hag (sorry. i feel kinda bad saying it myself on here lol) relationship can be predicated on.

many people have pointed out that in couples' disguises, james dresses as a girl and jessie dresses as a man, with james tending to cross dress significantly more often. this, as well as jessie's bullying personality vs james' relatively much more laid back nature. but I think it's interesting how it's taken for granted and not drawn attention to; or rather, not an incidental situation, but rather part of the fundamental nature of their characters. low key kind of feminist. I think it's also important to note that jessie and james are close friends, so he is clearly drawn to her in some way, but james hates her kind of personality in the context of romantic relationships, evidenced both here in this joking scenario, and in the episode where he has to escape an arranged marriage to a girl who looks and acts exactly like jessie, except she is in love with him. we can see the jessebelle episode as emblematic of the rejection of the heterosexual life paths and the pursuit of an existence outside the mainstream [i get shot in the head by a sniper]

i included this picture of mac and dennis move to the suburbs because i think the sitcom structures make them similar. they can't leave because of the concept of the show. metanarratively doomed to be together. an eternal relationship between people who make each other miserable but can never bear to leave, and can also both be compared to and is fundamentally incompatible with a stable, married, heterosexual relationship. one who is aggressive and one who is usually powerless. and is this all portrayed in the show? absolutely not LOL. but we are talking about fan culture here overall, which for better and worse (much worse) is oftentimes about seeing the potential in a source material and iterating on it in some way. it's there for those with eyes to see. i think the codependent friends + gay/hag relationship both has more canon evidence, is truer to the heart and soul of the source material (as seen through its endless cyclical structure), and is more unique and interesting.

This quote is here because jessie is definitely NOT "fully-actualized" as this describes. as stated earlier she is frequently insecure and childish, especially with regards to femininity. (perhaps we can trace this back to her backstory of an unstable childhood with her mom dying and her almost straight up starving to death as a result.) she wants to find love and be percieved as beautiful, but due to her mean and evil personality she can't, and is stuck being an outsider with this cat and this gay man. there is an obvious insecurity at the heart of these characters, and within the show's narrative they are cursed to remain as they are. if we as fans are trying to take this a step further and create some kind of tension or arc, we can say it's because of their mutual failure to self actualize (especially factoring in the gender/lgbt stuff) that they are drawn together.

i don't think people shipping these two is like, remotely a serious societal issue. it's literally fine. i don't care that much these are differing interpretations of a mediocre anime meant to sell toys cards and video games. but i dislike it personally because i feel like in both practice and inherently, it means ignoring a lot of what makes the relationship itself unique, fun to interpret, and grounded in some nonserious form of reality. people are always like wow.. 2 gnc bisexuals that commit crimes together and also kiss.. but i think that's at best a way of resolving or explaining an underlying tension that's better left existent and at worst based on purely surface level observations. big city greens didn't even let them have meowth they are nothing without meowth

overall thesis if you're a fan reinrerpreting kids show characters for fun do it in style

disclaimers:

i'm not a cis gay man or transfem and so i dont have that perspective

joke portrayals of super flamboyant feminine and cross dressing gay men can contribute a lot to transmisogyny as well as homophobia, and the two are often conflated, especially in older media

i can see why someone would dislike this kind of character and view the portrayal as more mean spirited than i did, like even though the character of james himself is meant to be likeable you can see this aspect itself as demeaning

you know that thing where it's like the tme nb or trans masc is like omg theyre so gender but it's just transmisogyny. I obviously don't want to repeat that myself. there is some gray area of course and generally I think this specific example has room for interpretation, but I'm not the expert on this topic over all

I also haven't seen the whole show. there's like 600 episodes plus movies and it's not even good

there are like 40 separate essays you could write about that in general (gay coded villains in childrens' media and overlap of homophobia/transmisogyny therein in both the media itself and audiences' reactions). and i'm not doing that. but just know i'm aware it's a nuanced topic at least

[pinkdolphin12]

Imagine playing a vampire who got turned in like 2012. Just perpetually stuck in rawr xD pounces on you GLOMP Homestuckcore. They were like way too into cosplaying nepeta and they still wear basically just different versions of that same fit in public just without the horns. Skin is so pale it basically counts as grey anyway. Somehow missed the twilight fandom but has very strong feelings about superwholock and supernatural. Self identifiers as the "mom friend" but actually just usually ends up virtue signalling. Has only recently come to terms with JKR being a terf but refuses to take down the Harry Potter posters. Still uses "Slytherin" and "moirail" in conversations. Will not shut the fuck up about how subs are superior than dubs the moment anything even remotely related to Japanese culture is brought up. Has not seen any anime that was released after 2013, almost exclusively watches 90s anime on dvd no matter how many times the ghouls explain Crunchyroll. Lack of their humanity means they never learned why fetishizing gay men was bad. Hand stitched patches on their Jacket include but are not limited to:

A patch that just says "the midnight crew"

A tardis

Just every single troll zodiac, god tier symbol, and kid tshirt logo

"I survived dash con"

"i like your shoelaces" on one shoulder and "thanks i got them from the president" on another

You can actually see the impression where sweet bro and hella jeff were but have recently been removed after much inner debate.

[teamdarkweek]

for the ask game: 1, 15 !

Thank you so much for asking!

Full Game is Here

🏠Where do you think they live?

Within my written stuff, I try to vary how they live for funsies. But if I had to pen it out logically:

I think initially (Post Heroes) Rouge intended to take Shadow home and get him some help, and ended up having to take Omega home because he was extremely low power after their adventure. They ended uo staying in her G.U.N. flat, which they were all eventually kicked out of for damage.

However, they don't all live together all the time. Shadow likes to wander, especially around the events of Shadow the Hedgehog he was hard to pin down, he spent a lot of time soul searching. Rouge came into posession of a flat over the club when she got it, and also has a few other properties she calls home like a beachhouse and a ski chalet. Omega most consistently has one home, because his replacement parts and chargers are specific and tricky to replace, and also they mosify them so he can fit. Omega's homes are usually considered Team Dark's HQ, because its where they store all their spare kit and sensitive stuff. Its armed to the teeth.

I do have a story about them building Shadow a home. I think he would like living remotely, in the mountains where the stars are the best. Omega alao struggles to live in normal society, but he quite enjoys the drama of it. Rouge would ideally live on a pile of gold like Gustave in SMTV, but she'll settle for a fancy penthouse somewhere hollywood-esque. So, they don't particularly stay together all the time, but at present they all go back to base quite regularly.

🎶Who has the aux cord most - what do they play?

This is coming up for me in Day 6s story, actually!

Rouge is the owner of the Aux Cord, so she commandeers it. She likes: 80s/90s pop; Jazz; Ballads; and secretly showtunes. She introduced Shadow and Omega to music, and has a fairly nice singing voice but is not very well trained. Once upon a time she played saxophone but is out od practice.

Shadow will only play the music he likes in very close company, and turns it off if anyone spoils or criticises it. He does like rock and emo and the stuff people think are stereotypical of him, and he doesn't like to be teased for it. He also listens to classical and instrumentals and develops a taste for peaceful New Age stuff with time. He has taught himself piano and guitar (got a keyboard fairly cheap, and Sonic left his old guitar lying around once) and does sometimes sing with it. He will immediately stop if anyone is in hearing vicinity, so unconfirmed if he is any good.

Omega does actually have a taste in music: obviously, metal (haha) but also synth, electric pop, and anything quite fast tempo might tempt him, he has yet to like a lovesong. He's also a bit random with what he likes, and never explains what about it or why. He will just sometimes insist on a song being replayed, and occasionally records songs as they're being played to blast at inconvenient moments. They can't find any rhyme or reason as to why he would even have a preference for music, it isn't written in any code, but there is a list he can produce of 'liked songs'. Rouge and Shadow guess it is just another way he is figuring out an identity and what to do with it, so are very happy to encourage him.

Thanks for the ask! 🖤🦇🤖

[flamingo-strikes]

ZAINAAAA 2, 3, 5, 16 + 17 for the end of the year book asks mwah mwah <333

LEEEEEE BOOK BUDDY!!!!!! <333333

[2 and 3 answered here hehe!]

5. What genre did you read the most of?

Ohhh this year, Idk if it’s bc of our convos that sparked an interest lmao, but I read a lot more classics and gothic literature than I usually do!! (Well actually my english classes probably helped lmfao). It’s tough to say I read the most of it bc tbh I’m pretty balanced with romance + literary fiction + fantasy, but I had a lot of memorable reads in the gothic lit genre. Beloved, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Northanger Abbey, Wuthering Heights, and some more modern gothic picks!

16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

LMFAO don’t kill me but I did try to get through Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros, since I didn’t hate the first one completely, and ofc I didn’t financially support this woman, I pirated both times. But GODDAMN this sequel was so shit, like it was just words on paper at some point, and the slowest pacing I’ve ever seen. Everything remotely likable in the series before was literally stripped away. I have no idea how the shitty writing on top of the publishing misprints haven’t driven away all the fans. I don’t like judging people when it comes to trashy reads bc god knows I have my vices, but how Iron Flame has a 4.5 goodreads rating is beyond me. I feel like she pays her fans lmfao. Anyways I DNF-ed at 45% through after literally 2 months of trying to read it 😭

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

Yes!! I love when this happens!! Counterpart by Ella Pyne literally made me feel happiness for the first time in months lmao, it was THAT good!!! The Belladonna series by Adalyn Grace was also really enjoyable! I’m so invested in this series now. It’s not perfect and it def is guilty of some YA/NA romance quirks, but I really love it. I can’t wait for the last book to come out. It’s a very unique series, like I can’t say I’ve read anything like it before tbh! Trial of the Sun Queen by Nisha J. Tuli was SO GOOD too. I expected a basic adult romantic fantasy, and I got pleasantly surprised with a lovely world setting and a feral south asian fmc whom I adore (she’s like 90% why I love it lol). Lastly, The Summer of Broken Rules by K.L Walther, was SUCH a feel good story. I’m not even joking my face hurt from smiling so much. I expected a basic contemporary romance such booktok has shit taste lmao, but this was a very sweet story about family, grief, sisterly love, and platonic love was emphasized even more than the romance ngl!

[2n2n]

I'm new here and before I start asking questions related to tbhk I would like to know a few things. First: What types of questions do you not answer? Second: When we say anonymous, you can't know who we are even if we send two questions in a row?Treceira: Can we ask more than one question in a comment? Or will you not respond if we send it that way?Wednesday: It's not a question, it's just to say that I love the way you talk about tbhk ❤️

Hiiii!

First: What won't I answer? More than anything, I don't engage with rudeness, argumentative/agitated tones, or otherwise negatively framed questions. If the question seems combative, or frustrated, I don't bother! This is a fun place, we should all have fun. I appreciate at least a facade of friendliness!

While some fans can be tedious, I don't like to focus too much on that, so I often delete that sort of topic (i.e. "don't you hate it when people do ___?") … while sometimes I grouse and gripe a bit, I don't want that kind of attitude to dominate the space too much ^^;;; JSHK makes me very happy, I would like the bloge to reflect that… !

I guess positivity is generally good :3 I don't mind fielding nervousness or anxiousness though, or complicated feelings, so long as it's coming from the right place~! I try to assume sincerity.

Other things I don't publish….

Sometimes, people more or less just put their own opinions on ships, or theories, in my inbox, and those are not questions. I typically delete these. I don't really want to be a hotbed for simply "publishing any random person's thoughts"…. it's not really a conversation..... if it could just Be a Post on your own blog, it doesn't belong in my inbox ...

I have been handed simply a numbered list of why someone hates HanaNene in my inbox, hahahaha, this kind of thing is like… the epitome of all these rules-- ! it's rude, it's argumentative, it's not fun, it's purely to tell me how someone else feels, it's not even a question … <- but I just delete this sort of thing. 90% of the time I think it's well-intentioned and harmless, I don't believe in retaliation…. even if you are rude, there won't be any consequence other than being ignored.

Lately I've also noticed some user(s?) simply bulk sends the same questions to a bunch of veeeeery different blogs, and I'm going to start to delete these, because it feels impersonal and dehumanizing ? … I would like to not be "a random JSHK blog", but your fun little Avvy who you want to ask unique things to, because I am me (: and you like my opinions, or you at least find me amusing/funny/intriguing like a bug 🐛 I want to be an individual!

Second: Will I be able to tell who is who?

There will be no indication that questions are from the same person, other than perhaps your grammar/spelling/way of talking! But you can always just try to make a casual tone to blend in with anyone else. I tend to answer things in random chunks; it can take me weeks to finish an answer to something I liked, I do not answer things in order, etc, so your questions may not wind up even published remotely close, so there would be no way for people reading to detect much. Usually becoming a distinctive ask-er would be something more overt like, repeatedly trying to talk about the same subject over and over, or hating the same character(s) or ship(s) repeatedly …

I don't have any investment in identifying people, and generally speaking I assume a grand total of about 3 people maximum even bother to send me asks. I'm a nobody and nobody looks at this blog. I definitely won't think hard about it, and nobody else will so I wouldn't worry!

I like to be low-key, and I hope people can even trust me with priv. messaging or private answers, really. I don't want anyone to have to be afraid of anything.

Third: Multiple Q's in one ask

I don't mind people asking multiple things at once, though the answer may become long and difficult to read, and possibly difficult to search for in the archive in the long run. Related topics that make sense bundled together is fine, but I DO prefer vastly different questions to be asked separately, if only for organization's sake! Buuuut I wouldn't Not answer if I liked the questions ...

also, you'll get answers faster separating them ... as I might get hung-up on a random one in the pile, and that could make the entire pile take as long as the most complicated answer.

Fourth: awe thank you (: hehe … heee it's a fun manga, I am having a good time, the best time everrrrrr, everyone come watch how fun it is heheeheheheehehe

[gaykarstaagforever]

Anastasia (1997)

Man. This Disney Princess schtick gets problematic and weird when you try and bring it into the real world, doesn't it?

As far as the movie itself, it's typical perfectly fine Don Bluth fair: fantastic animation and voice cast, music that is good if not quite hooky enough to be memorable, weird pacing and tonal shifts that make it feel like a 2 hour movie he chopped down to 90 minutes, without caring that he took out some of the plot and ruined a lot of the jokes.

"YEAH WELL IT'S NOT A DISNEY MOVIE!" You're right, it isn't. But not for lack of trying, because Don Bluth was certainly trying. And as usual, his movies lack that vital polish, the attention to small details, that this era of Disney had, that really takes this sort of thing from good to great.

Plus he always needs big convoluted action sequences that are impressive for what they are, but don't usually do much to advance the story. It's almost like those are serving as distractions from the uneven character arcs and uninspired dialogue. Like he was well aware there was a problem, but because of his ego or management style, he couldn't do anything about it.

I don't know. It's not BAD, it's just Bluth. And that's fine. But these will always play second fiddle to the Disney Renaissance stuff, and for good reason. That's a nearly impossible level to get to. And he never did.

...Especially not with a story like this! Whew, boy!

Disney at this time did Hunchback and Hercules, two children's movie musical adaptations of dark adult properties. And those aren't perfect, but pull it off with charm. Bluth tries it here, and it just gets weird. For reasons I'm certain the movie didn't bother explaining, Czar Nicholas Romanov of Russia turns against Rasputin, who here is an evil wizard with a jar of glowing demon slime. Rasputin reaponds by cursing the Romanov family, which somehow translates into the Russian Revolution happening. They all get killed except for Nicholas's mother and Princess Anastasia, who are rescued by a servant boy, and in the process of this rescue, Anastasia kicks Rasputin into the icy river where he loses his magic jar and dies...sort of.

10 years later, in the midst of Communist St. Petersburg, the servant boy has grown up into a conman who is trying to find a woman to pretend to be Anastasia, because the surviving Empress Dowager lives in Paris and will give $10 million rubles to whoever finds Anastasia.

Anastasia herself ended up in a Russian orphanage with partial amnesia, and falls in with the conman as his new pick to con the Empress Dowager. Except she's actually Anastasia, and we know that the whole time, and the conman figures it out almost immediately.

Also as soon as this happen, Rasputin - who is a zombie who lives in the floating rock realm of Limbo that is under the Romanov's palace (?) - gets his green jar back from his little bat friend who just..had it, and he vows to kill Anastasia, to "complete the curse against the Romanovs." For whatever reason he is still so mad about whatever that was.

These aren't spoilers. Again, the pacing is such that the movie eagerly spoils its own mysteries almost immediately. Rasputin just knows Anastasia is Anastasia and immediately sends his demons to go blow up a train with her inside it.

I'm not going to give you the actual history of the Russian Revolution, because if you know, you know, and if you don't, you don't care. But suffice it to say, none of this is remotely true to the actual history of anything, besides "Rasputin sucked" and "Communists turned Russia into the Soviet Union."

There isn't even any mention of World War I, here. And that's kind of shocking, for any story supposedly set in Russia and France, from 1916 to 1926.

Why didn't they just set this in a fantasy universe? What does randomly referencing actual historical stuff from only 70-odd years before this movie was made add to this weird story? A weird story, by the way, based on an actual grift that various people have been attempting for decades.

It's so weird and distracting. Sure, 8 year olds won't care. But why are we teaching 8 year olds that Rasputin was an evil wizard who destroyed the sexy, benevolent autocrats of Russia? That the Communists of that era themselves were doing big musical numbers about how they really wish Anastasia would come back and be their queen? What the hell is this? Why would you do this? It's like dated pro-Romanov propaganda for Western audiences, and...why? WHY, Don Bluth?? Why did you do this?

Again, if it was all fantasy, whatever. It's still problematic as romanticized royalist crap that teaches unhelpful lessons to middle class children who live in egalitarian democracies. But imagining what it would be like to be a little princess is fun sometimes, in proportion. But when your princess is part of a real royal family that was so awful all anyone under them could agree on was that they had to be brutally eliminated, and you show the alternative to their rule being icky gross Actual Communism, that's getting weird with it. And Rasputin was only responsible for the downfall of the Romanovs because they wouldn't stop letting him be defacto prime minister, and everyone hated him even more than they hated the Romanovs. He and they were on 100% the same page, and that's why they both got murdered! Why is Rasputin getting blamed in this story for everything? Again, Bluth - why did you do this? It doesn't make any sense!

Just set it in Fakeystania and give everyone similar-sounding names. Plus if you do that, then you don't have to have a plot that keeps tying itself into weird confusing knots to work in the actual real geography and reputation-laundering of thr real-life shit people you've inexplicably decided this needs to keep. Basing this movie on "real" events makes it WORSE than it would be if you hadn't.

Again. Why? You could have done anything. Why did you choose this?

...And why did you let Hank Azaria improv unfunny Yakov Smirnoff shit as the little bat character? It's unbearable. What child in 1997 was going to be impressed by references to a guy who arguably was never that funny in the first place, and also stopped doing that almost ten years earlier?

WHY, Don Bluth?

What the hell is this?

It did well financially and critically, so I guess it doesn't matter. Though how that happened I do not understand, because it's okay but nothing special and the story is very weird. But I'm sure a lot of you have fond nostalgia for it, and I'm not taking that away from you. I like Disney's Hunchback, and a lot of even Disney fans think that one is dark and uneven and weird and an inexplicable choice for an adaptation in the first place.

I guess I'm just more politically inclined to sympathize with a deformed lonely Romani man who has been abused by the Church, than a beautiful white woman descended from royalty having all her expensive dreams come true.

(I was going to end this with a Yakov Smirnoff-style joke, but...god. No. Not even he does that shit anymore. Ugh).

[synesthesiac31]

     I have experienced synesthesia since I was a child, mostly while listening to music. It is said that less than five percent experience this phenomenon. I can't tell you where it comes from and why. I just know that it is normal for me to have these experiences. I actually wonder why most people do not experience music the way I do. I have read that there is research being done to explain this "condition." So, apparently it is being acknowledged.

I have always been a little different, I suppose. I felt that from a very early age. "Gifted" was the word used a lot in my elementary years and all the way through my high school years. I don't know that I would call myself "gifted." A little too in touch with my senses, maybe. The sound of music has always been my utopia, for lack of a better word. My earliest memory of music consisted of a particular bassline. I'll get into that at some point.

    Exposure to all different kinds of music was a constant in my life, even now. I grew up with my mother cleaning house to Sade, Carole King, Aretha Franklin, The Staple Singers, Anita Baker, Stevie Nicks, and Tina Turner. On the weekends, she would record videos that played on MTV and VH1 on an old, clunky silver VCR. The "remote" you would flick the switch up to record, flick down to pause. She ended up with these mountains of VHS tapes containing nothing but music videos. I have probably seen just about every music video made all through the 80's and 90's. Maybe.

    My father played six-string and twelve-string guitar. He played just about anything but he also used to play music with my Tata (grandfather). I don't really know how to describe that music. I guess you can call it Mexican folk music? Mexican country? All I know is that I have never heard it anywhere, ever, except when my Dad played that guitar and my Tata played his accordion. Now that they are both gone, I know that music is gone with them. My Dad was also very eclectic. Growing up, I watched him blast Jimi Hendrix, Neil Young, Creedence, Mexican Banda music, Norteno music, traditional Native American music, just about everything.

    So when it came to me and music you can only guess the love I have for it. Music has always spoken to me. I learned to read and play music in elementary school. I played reed instruments. I don't anymore, but the reading of music has stuck with me. So, when I hear a song that changes time signatures, or a song is played in an odd time signature, I get all goofy excited because I actually know what is taking place as it happens.

    As far as the synesthesia part goes, I don't know how to fully articulate, but I am going to try. This has always been a natural thing for me. I don't understand how someone else isn't as blown away as I am when something awesome in the song happens. Upon hearing something totally beautiful, I usually associate it with something in nature, like the ways waves in the ocean are formed. Or the way the desert canyon smells sweet after a good monsoon rain. This is also music in a different form.

    Now, if you know who I am and know anything about me, you know I love me some heavy metal, and more specifically I love doom metal. I listen to many genres of music, but metal has my heart. This extends to space rock, desert rock, stoner rock, sludge metal, and psychedelic rock. I do hope you are familiar. More than anything I love the slower, groovier metal. I adore heavy bass riffs. The kind that groove back and forth like the ocean does. I can get lost in bass lines all day, every day, probably for the rest of my life, and beyond. The connections to this blog will all come together by the end of the series, at least, that's what I'm hoping for. I'll pick a song each time I plan to post and I will dissect it according to my senses. I will also include a link and time stamps. Maybe you will find you are a synesthete yourself. Or maybe it will give you a better appreciation of the piece of music. All I know is, I am truly captivated by music and the way I experience it. Maybe my kids will find these one day after I am gone, many, many years from now, and they will appreciate it. Or they can say, "Shit man, Mom was bonkers!"

    I will warn you though, some of these experiences of musical landscape were done with psychedelic assistance. A few, not all. All that really did was intensify what I already experience on a normal basis. I am not telling you to do the same. I am not here to preach anything either. Take it for what is is. I hope you enjoy these next however-many posts. Share when you feel the need, comment as you feel the urge to do so. But if your vibe is at all negative, you know right where the hell the door is...Thanks in advance for reading.

-A

[notroosterbradshaw]

Hi can i request number 12 from the prompts list with Rooster please? Thanks

12. Mapping out your lover’s features while they sleep in your arms, smoothing your thumbs down their cheeks, throat, collarbones, chin and nose.

"You do this every time," Rooster sighed, rubbing his honey-coloured eyes. "'Bradley, baby'," he mocked in your over-exaggerated tone as you scoffed. "‘Put on a movie, I wanna snuggle’. Five minutes later, you're out across my chest," he accused as you rolled your eyes, unable to hold back laughter. He had known you long enough... was hard to deny him.

"What am I supposed to do? I cuddle in and you're so warm and smell so good and I just doze off. Sue me," you huffed, inflating his ego at the same time (usually didn’t take a lot), opening the wine and pouring you both a glass. "I don't know why you just don't take it as a compliment and move along, Bradshaw."

He laughed. "Because you put some shitty romcom on and I'm trapped under you until you wake with three minutes left of the movie and pretend you were awake the whole time."

You could only make a face. He was 100% right. No argument was going to help you now.

"I dunno why I'm even asking you this, but humour me, baby: what you wanna watch?" he asked with dread, finding the remote and flicking through movies that were on your watch list. He had picked the last movie (Reservoir Dogs, thanks for asking), so he didn't have a leg to stand on. May as well toss it out there and admit he knew a romcom was in his immediate future if the list he clicked through dismally had anything to do with it.

"It's Flashback Friday, let's watch a classic," You danced around the couch, excitedly and put the wine on the coffee table with the charcuterie board Bradley would eat 93% of himself.

"Shortlist," he insisted.

"Fair," you agreed as he plonked on the couch, and you sat beside him. "Point Break, you'll be hot for Keanu. Will put you in the mood. Point, Bradshaw," he goaded as you tried to get the remote off him. He pushed you back gently. He bopped your nose. "Absolutely not. I'm controlling the remote, thank you."

"Point Break," you contemplated thoughtfully. A twofer really... Keanu, Patrick Swayze -

"Nah, too easy. You don't get to lull me into a false sense of security like that. Keep going," Bradley rolled his eyes.

"Breakfast Club?"

"Not a dealbreaker," Rooster admitted. "Back to the Future?"

"God, you are such an 80's kid," you rolled your eyes.

"Wasn't just my decade, babe," he hissed back as you squinted at him, a man with a death wish. "But of course, you're the latter end. May as well be 90's," he rushed, as you laughed. "You're not getting older, you're just getting sexier," he overcorrected, hoping he'd bridged the gap with his loose lips, his nose from your earlobe to your jaw, leaving a wet, warm kiss against your pulse. He was the dirtiest player in the game and he laughed against your skin, as you enraged him a moment later, dragging your nails into his scalp, giving him a bit of pleasure in return. "God, you're so full of shit…” you somehow managed to get out.

He laughed and shrugged. "Yeah, you’re hating every minute,” he reckoned.

"But it's a short list," you pretended to growl as he kissed your pout. “What about Stand by Me?" you tried, his lips still mashed against yours and you fell into his soft kiss, God, his lips were magical, you loved kissing Bradley Bradshaw. His soft lips, the caress of his tongue -

"Baby, are you actually considering me and what I would like to watch?" he asked, almost touched, he pulled back, a smug look of satisfaction laced all over his face.

"Footloose?"

Apparently not. "Veto."

"Oh, Dirty Dancing!" the tone in your voice telling him that this was your decision, but he couldn't resist, because he kind of loved it when you argued and got all cross and cute... and sometimes if he riled you up just the right amount, a little frisky too.

"VE-TO."

"Bradley Bradshaw, how dare you!" you exclaimed as he broke into a grin and put his hands in the air.

"I give, baby," he admitted. "Just love you all wound up and - "

"Yeah, yeah," you said bashfully. He chuckled, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple and he raised his arm to put it across your shoulder to nuzzle in under, pressing play on the flick. The Ronettes 'Be My Baby' started in the background with a noir 1960s underground dancing dirty montage (if you will), flitting across the screen.

"Credit where it's due, this soundtrack is fuckin’ awesome. They just don't make them like they used to."

"Movie soundtracks?" you tucked yourself into his ribs as he adjusted to bend to you. He'd be kidding himself; this was the best part of watching a movie as you curled yourself around him. Maybe the movie would be forgotten and some sexy making out would take over, he wondered.

"Yep," he nodded, plopping a kiss in your hair.

"Yeah, 80's definitely had that going for them. Best 80's soundtrack?" you asked, quickfire.

He frowned while pondering. "Good question... anything John Hughes," he said obviously.

"Flashdance."

"Lost Boys."

"'Purple rain, purple rain'," you sang as Rooster chuckled. You had already missed a good chunk of the movie although you continued to lower yourself until your cheek was resting against his powerful quad and eyes trying in vain to stay open as the movie played on, both of you really not giving it too much of your attention, his large palm sliding under your tee and tracing the back of your ribs, along the bone and the seams of your bra.

Bradley was a human furnace, he was divine to creep up next to, so you did just that only encouraging him. It didn’t surprise him that you’d dozed off.

Fuck. And the remote was just out of his reach to turn off the movie. He lived for times like this. He’d be able to watch the game.  Any goddamn game would have been just perfect. He didn’t care if his teams weren’t playing. Baseball, football, basketball. Oh, were the Lakers playing tonight?

Slumbering partner, booze and the inability to reach the remote. He struggled to reach but it was just out of his grasp. “Shit,” he muttered as you wrapped your soft palm around his knee and he sighed, taking you in. A rare beauty, he knew, momentarily caught up that you were his. He must have done something right in a previous life to have you walk into this life. His fingertip tenderly traced your eyebrow and the slope of your nose as you mumbled in your sleep and he hesitated, pulling his hand back.

You adjusted your posture to rest your cheek on his thigh, your face towards his tummy and he chuckled quietly. “You’re not that asleep…”

“Little bit asleep,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his waist, cool fingers drifting against the golden soft skin of his lower back.

“Bed?” he murmured, his thumb drifting across your soft lips as you shook your head, eyes still closed. A moment later, you yawned, but clearly weren’t interested in being roused so he kept playing with your features, his hands sinking into your hair and he bit back a grin as you almost mewled like a kitten. He didn’t say anything but was surprised at how much of a sucker for his touch you were. You only encouraged him, by cuddling in further and he reached down to press a kiss into your forehead, against the scar on your eyebrow. You hated it, but he loved it. The mar of perfection against your sweet features would always be his favourite. It matched his.

He felt your breathing change against him and knew you’d fallen asleep again, deeper and he knew you were out. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple, the smell of your 45-step hair care routine wafting into his nostrils and feeling a little dizzy himself, warmed. Luckiest bastard he knew as he spied the small remote you never used and his eyes widened, excitedly. Within reach, he swiped it and turned down the volume of the film.

Within a few moments and the apps changed, the Lakers were on his screen. He pushed the remote into the side of the couch so he wouldn’t lose it, took his wine in his free hand and made himself comfy. May as well make the most of his Friday night…

SEND ME A PROMPT, I’LL WRITE YOU A DRABBLE.

A/N: the tag list no longer exists. To keep up to date, give @notroosterbradshaw-library a follow x

[saleensundria9]

I mean yeah if we're talking technically, yeah, these exist but that by no means indicates that they are sufficient resources that are readily available.

In an actually decent sized town like the one I live near(pop. ~14,000), there is... One food pantry... And uhhhh... McDonald's offers programs for "career growth"? And uhhh . I guess Dollar General does as well, for people who don't have their GED but you have to work there for at least 90 days to even get started. (And I don't mean like you have to be on payroll for 90 days I mean you actually have to clock in for 90 days, albeit not consecutively, which can easily take a lot longer than 3 months) And uhm. Uhhhhhhh

The only facilities I can think of for drug addicts are literally just the hospitals. Like at all. There are small support groups but nothing remotely professional. Same for mental health actually! When I was a teenager I tried reaching out to literally anywhere I could (and unfortunately didn't realize the national suicide hotline was a thing: 988) and I found nothing. Okay that's kind of a lie, I found a parent support group on Facebook that was just like "reach out to a professional kid. We can't help you" which I had only found because I had followed a link from a hospital looking website. I was confused and scared but I mean. It ended up being fine I guess. I mean, I'm alive. Oh! And also, no homeless shelters. At all. Not a single one.

There are assisted living homes for disabled people though! However, they'll cost ya a pretty penny, so forget about your SSI, if you even get approved for it the rent for those places will take like 1/2 to 3/4 of your monthly check as rent, and they're usually only one bed one bath so fuck you if you have a family. Most of these places are privately owned, but get tax write-offs and allowances for "serving their self interests community" but ofc why lower rent on these already disadvantaged people when money is just sitting right there?? They don't do anything all day anyway, it's not like they work hard and struggle through every day like the rest of us! (This is sarcasm I swear to god)

And having one of those assisted living nurses come to your house is expensive ASF as well. So basically don't be disabled in this country and you'll be fine :)