#anyway!! reblogs are encouraged AND deeply appreciated!! <3

[xpao-bearx]

"Like A Virgin"

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Read Part 2 HERE

Read Part 3 HERE

Read Part 4 HERE

SUMMARY: Steven Grant has come to the devastating conclusion that he was fated to be single forever. Marc didn't care for romance, Jake was only interested in one-night stands, and Steven was--well...Steven.

But when you started working alongside him at the museum's gift shop--a pretty girl younger than him with a bright smile and a cloying kindness he hasn't been the recipient of in a long time--he begins to think that maybe romance is in the cards for him.

Especially when you are just as awkward as him and sinfully lovely.

AKA "the man without love" falls for "the virgin".

RATING: 18+ minors please do NOT interact!!! This fic will contain romance, smut, and generally mature content (though not ALL parts will have explicit smut).

NOTES: I recently rewatched Moon Knight and have been in the mood to write my own fic after reading countless of amazing ones on here, then outta the blue Madonna's song Like A Virgin got stuck in my head and it got me thinking "Huh... This song is cute for Steven if he gets a girlfriend. ACTUALLY WAIT A DAMN MINUTE IT COULD FIT ALL THE MOON KNIGHT BOYS"

And so... Tada! Here's le result~ Although I'm still working out the details, this fic will have ✨️6 PARTS✨️ This fic will PROBABLY be quite self-indulgent, and at times the way the reader is written could be a bit similar to an OC. I'm so sorry if that is the case, but please understand that I'm writing this for fun and I'm just going with the flow!

Some things will also be different from the show. For example, all the boys are actually aware of each other in this fic. I try to stick as close as possible to the source material, but hey this is my fic and like I said I just wanna have fun 😂

Thank you sooo much and I sincerely hope you enjoy!! Likes, comments, and reblogs are STRONGLY encouraged and appreciated so please don't be a silent reader!

Now... Join me as I hopelessly thirst over this RIDICULOUSLY gorgeous man both in fiction AND reality \(^o^)/

Part 1: Didn't know how lost I was until I found you

Steven willed his legs to go faster, pushing through London's usual busy morning crowd and into the museum he was cursed to work at. Clutching his bag in one hand, and the other holding his small thermos of coffee as he prayed to any Egyptian god listening that Donna wouldn't catch him this time.

But, of course, the only Egyptian god within Steven's vicinity was Khonshu. And the old bird only cared about how his Moon Knight was upholding his duties as his "Fist of Vengeance", not of his Avatar's petty human responsibilities such as "keeping a job".

"Late again, eh, Stevie?" Donna's annoying voice mocked Steven, pausing in his tracks as he sighed deeply and begrudgingly turned towards his boss.

"Sorry, Donna." He shot the blonde a forced smile, his grip on his thermos tightening. "Got stuck in traffic. You know how it is, yeah?"

"I wouldn't because unlike you, Stevie, I'm never late." Donna returned his fake smile along with a roll of her eyes. "Anyway, enough chatter. You've got someone working with you at the gift shop from now on. Maybe this way you won't be late, yeah? Teach her how to actually sell some bloody candy."

Steven opened his mouth to retort, but was quickly cut off when his new co-worker--you--stepped out from behind Donna. You were younger than him, around your twenties, and you were such a shy little thing with your head slightly ducked down. Your E/C eyes peeked out from behind the glasses framing your delicate features, long lashes fluttering as you flashed him a sweet smile. Your fingers fiddled nervously with the pink midi skirt you wore, matching the dainty pink ribbons that tied your H/C hair in two low pigtails.

Your smile faltered as your gaze met Steven's dark brown ones. He remained silent, mouth hanging agape as he stared at you as if you grew two heads. Your eyes lowered, heart threatening to burst right out of your poor chest.

Did you do something wrong? Maybe you should've ditched the ribbons, you looked ridiculous, right? Why was he staring at you? Oh, god, why was such a HOT guy staring at you?!

"Hello, uh, I'm Steven Grant." Your head snapped up, witnessing the twist of Steven's lips into a kind albeit awkward smile that accompanied a friendly little wave. "Steven..." He seemed to be rethinking his words before, ultimately, the dorky side of him won. "...with a V."

A smile once again bloomed across your face, feeling more at ease this time. "Hi, I'm Y/N L/N. With anxiety!" You chirped the latter a little too cheerfully, a light blush dusting your cheeks as you inwardly slapped yourself. No, punched yourself. "O-Oh, uh, I-I didn't mean that! I-I mean, no, it was just a joke--but a really BAD one, oh god--"

As you rambled nonsensically, Donna arched a judgmental brow at you before noticing the utterly smitten expression on Steven's face as he watched you with a huge goofy grin. Now both of Donna's eyebrows were raised to her hairline before she slowly backed away, leaving you two to fend for yourselves.

At least this time, though, Steven wouldn't be late anymore.

'She's so...'

'Weird.' Marc piped up in Steven's head.

'Amusing.' Jake snickered.

'...lovely.' Steven finished, eyes gleaming the same way it does for Egyptology as he continued to look at you as if you hung the moon in the sky.

He adored you instantly.

♡•••🌙•••♡

It's been two months since you started working at the museum's gift shop. During that time, you and Steven got closer. He discovered that you were a college dropout, reaching a stressful breaking point one day and deciding to just work for the meantime before figuring the rest of your life out. And as it turns out, you weren't so shy after all; once you were out your shell, you were just as big of a dork as Steven was and whenever you two were together, your shift passed by quickly--too quickly.

From the very first moment, you and Steven got along splendidly. He was a complete sweetheart and it always shattered your heart whenever Donna harassed him with any snarky and insensitive remarks.

Steven was used to it so he didn't mind it too much. What he wasn't used to, though, was you. You who was always so kind, lending a listening ear whenever he went on a passionate tangent regarding Egypt and even encouraging him on his dream of becoming the museum's tour guide. You who always graced him with a genuine smile that reached your ears, eyes sparkling whenever you see him as if he was your favourite art piece in the entire museum.

You who always made his heart race, palms sweaty, mind swirling without fail.

You had an intense crush on Steven--a longing, really--but what you didn't know was that he felt the same about you. But perhaps it was more than that. He practically worshipped the ground you walked on, and it certainly didn't miss Donna's unexpectedly sharp eyes. She'd tease him whenever you left earlier than him, looking like a kicked little puppy as his gaze trailed after you.

Today was no different as he stared helplessly at you, and it was a wonder you didn't feel the invisible daggers boring into you. There were only ten minutes left before you were done for the day and you both were stuck in inventory, but for once in his life he loved doing inventory and he desperately wished that this incredible moment with you, alone, would last forever.

'You're so fucking pathetic, ese.' Jake echoed in Steven's mind.

Nowadays Jake was becoming more vocal, at least when you're around. Marc, on the other hand, remained tight-lipped. The mercenary would much rather have absolutely nothing to do with you at all costs.

'Shut up, mate.' Steven silently argued, brows furrowing as his eyes finally broke away from you and focused on organizing some Taweret plushies.

'Only saying the truth, ese. You've got her all to yourself and the only thing you can think of is that you wish this time would last forever?' Jake scoffed. 'Be a man and step the fuck up. You know you want to, especially with the way she looks today.'

Steven's burning gaze was right back on you, eyes darkening slightly. He hated to admit it, but Jake was right. You were always so pretty, but something about today made you look that much more.

You always dressed modestly, but with the weather warming up lately you opted for a black pleated skirt that fell just above your knees and a tucked in short sleeved yellow blouse with the top few buttons undone exposing the tiniest bit of your cleavage. You also wore matching yellow heels that perfectly accentuated your legs and it made him feral.

"Steven? Are you okay?"

His eyes met yours and a smile instantly curled up his lips, nodding his head as if he wasn't just ogling you like a total perv. "Yes, I just zoned out. Sorry, love." Ugh, the way he called you 'love' so casually had you swooning.

If only he actually meant it.

You nodded back, shoving your thoughts away and returning his smile before glancing towards a portrait. "A shame what they did to this, huh?"

Steven curiously followed your line of sight, seeing a portrait of the Ennead.

"Whoever did this made a major blunder. Isn't the Ennead supposed to have nine gods, not seven?"

"YES!" You flinched slightly at Steven's exclamation, whipping your head towards him only to see him with the cutest blush ever.

"Erm, s-sorry, uh..." Steven cleared his throat, sheepishly running a hand through his unruly locks. "I just got excited. I'm surprised you knew that. Not a lot of people do--or care."

"Well, I happen to know a fantastic teacher always talking about Egyptology." You giggled, grinning at him. "And thanks to him, he's caused me to become interested in it myself and do my own research."

"Really?!" The way his eyes lit up felt as if an arrow was shot straight to your heart, and if you didn't have any self-control you would've dropped to your knees and asked--begged--this gorgeous man to marry you right then and there. "Any particular god or goddess that you're most interested in?"

"Hmm..." You pursed your lips thoughtfully, and Steven had half a mind to kiss them senseless. "I'd have to say Khonshu."

'GOOD ANSWER. KEEP HER, WORM.' Khonshu's thundering voice suddenly boomed in Steven's head.

"She's not a dog, you stupid pigeon." Steven grumbled, rubbing his temples exasperatedly.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"Nothing!" Steven answered quickly, forcing out a laugh. "Err, why Khonshu?"

"Well, I really like Astronomy!" You beamed. "And I find the moon to be one of the most beautiful things in our universe, so it feels fitting for my favourite Egyptian god to be Khonshu."

Despite Steven's distaste (to put it nicely) for the old bird, he could never find your response as such. Not when you looked so happy and comfortable sharing your interests with him, even though he did disagree with just one thing you said.

The moon doesn't even come close to being one of the most beautiful things this universe boasts. No, not when you existed.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!

The alarm on your wristwatch cruelly popped the blissful little bubble you both were in, you turning it off as you saw that it was the end of your shift.

A regular person would be over the moon that they were finally free from their corporate prison, but not you. Not when you wished you could spend more time with Steven.

"Well..." Your voice was nothing more than a whisper, a pout forming on your lips. "Guess it's time for me to go home."

"It appears so..." Steven mumbled, his heart sinking to his stomach as he watched you put away the remaining items you were in charge of.

'It's now or never, Steven. Do something.' Jake urged.

'Do WHAT?'

'Fucking Christ, you're hopeless.' Jake sighed frustratedly, Steven's eyes rolling to the back of his head and his shoulders slumping. After a few seconds, he straightened up once more and approached you.

You were faced away from Steven, and you were having difficulty setting the final box of souvenirs you had on a shelf when Steven's hands reached from behind you and easily lifted them.

Your breath hitched, feeling his broad chest pressed against your back. He was so close you could feel his warm breath tickling the nape of your neck, making you gulp.

"T-Thank you, Steven..." You murmured meekly, feeling so small as he had you completely caged. You tried to turn, but his hands suddenly dropped to your hips; keeping you in place with a gentle but firm grip.

"You look so pretty today, Y/N." He leaned down, voice deliciously low as his lips ghosted just beneath your ear and a shiver ran down your spine. "But I think you can look even prettier. How 'bout tomorrow you dress all nice, and we can meet up around seven p.m. and have the best steak in town?"

Your thoughts were all jumbled up. Was this really happening or just another one of your silly fantasies? Where the hell did Steven get this sudden confidence from?

And, perhaps you were just imagining it, but he sounded...different. Not quite like the Steven you knew. He had an accent, but not the one you've gotten so familiar with and loved.

But the ache in your heart--and another part of you--was much too strong to bear. You've waited so long for this, dreamt of this, and it was finally coming true.

You definitely made the right decision to dress the way you did today and you sure as hell weren't going to let go of such a grand opportunity.

"I-I'd love to, but..." You placed your hands on top of his own still on your hips, and you wondered if he can tell just how embarrassingly sweaty your palms have gotten. "I...I know you're a vegan, Steven, so let's go somewhere else. There's a new restaurant that just opened and they've got vegan options. Um, y'know, if it's okay with you..."

The corners of his mouth tugged up into a smile and he couldn't stop himself as he nuzzled his face against the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply and revelling in your addicting scent.

"Perfect." He then spun you both around so that his back was against the shelf, but you still couldn't see him. His fingers slowly, teasingly trailed upwards along your stomach before reaching your blouse's breast pocket, slipping off your name tag and putting it in one of your hands. "I'll see you tomorrow, hermosa." He chuckled huskily, giving you a light push.

You were utterly dazed, cheeks flushed and stumbling in your steps slightly as you exited the room.

'What the bloody hell was THAT?!' Steven panicked.

"What do you think, ese?" Jake scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I just scored you a date."

'Well, I hope you're happy! Y/N looked so shocked!'

"I feel like a million dollars and Y/N looked like she liked it." Jake snickered. "Quit whining like a bitch and just be grateful, Steven. And hey, she even chose some hippie vegan place for you. Doesn't that prove she's into you?"

That immediately shushed Steven, and Jake can feel that despite Steven's complaining Steven was very much overjoyed and was already overthinking the date for tomorrow.

Jake looked down his hands, still remembering the soft curve of your hips even through your clothes and smirked.

You won't be wearing any for long now.

[changisworld]

For changbin: you decide to start your fitness journey and call your experienced boyfriend to help you training, but apparently he has other plans (i was totally inspired by the skz yoga class, that man fixing hyunjin's position got me to places lol)

OMG what a good ask for me to respond to for my FIRST EVER BINNIE FIC!! I hope you enjoy <3

Word count:2.319

Obvious MDNI,18+ smut warnings under the cut

Any reblogs & comments are deeply appreciated!

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

PSA FOR ANY ASKS/REQUESTS: i WILL get around to posting everyone's requests, I'm sorry if it takes a bit of time but whatever you request i'll get around to posting it! IM ALSO MAKING AN ANON LIST!! just send me anything & tell me what emoji you wanna be!

main masterlist here

SMUT WARNINGS; slightly jealous binnie, coke can cock binnie, confident reader, pet names such as pretty,jagi, baby, public sex, creampie, quickie, slight teasing

You have finally decided to join the gym after saying it was your new years revolution for thee longest time & who better to help with your journey than your long term boyfriend, Changbin!

You put on a pair of sport leggings & a matching sports bra & you put Changbins shirt over it. You admire how you look in the mirror, trying to make sure you look as good as you can without looking like you're putting in effort & then you put on the gym shoes Changbin bought for you to encourage you to go to the gym & you then decide to walk to the gym & meet Changbin there. Since its 1am on a tuesday it's a safe & quick 15 minute walk to the gym.

You walk into the changing room & lock your bag off & you take off the baggy shirt you're wearing & shut the locker, putting the key around your wrist.

You step into the gym & unsurprisingly it's completely empty, other for a random guy & of course, Changbin himself.

You walk over to Changbin who is currently on his phone & taking a drink, of course sitting on the edge of the bench presss.

"Hey Binnie!" you say, waving your hand in front of his phone to get his attention over his music playing in his headphones. "Oh hey y/n! when did you get that set? you look so good" he says smirking at you as you giggle & roll your eyes as he stands up & gives you a quick hug. "I'm happy you're here jagi, trust me you'll loooove the gym once i teach you!" He says, nothing but enthusiasm in his voice. "Yeah well i better hope so seeing since i want to look a bit better & fit for summer" you say, looking at the huge mirror that stretches from one end of the gym all the way to the other. "Your body is already perfect y/n, the gym can just be a healthy hobby for you! Anyways, lets start with some stretches." He says, taking a hold of your wrist & guides you over to the matted open area.

"Okay so to start off, lets sit on the ground & put your legs straight out in front of you & set your hands out as far as you can." Changbin says, already getting into position. You copy him & you do what he asks as he gets up & pushes your back slightly to get that extra stretch. You hold it for 30 seconds before he helps you stand back up.

"Do i really need to stretch? my back is still pretty stretched out along with my legs from when you had my feet up past my head earlier when you had folded me in half, probably not the only thing that's still a bit stetched still hm?" you flirt with him, he playfully hits your shoulder. "yaaah! not.. here, i won't be able to handle it" he whispers back, trailing his fingers along your stomach as he kisses the sweet spot behind you ears. You let out a small hum then pull away. "I was being serious! but fine, what should i do now?" You ask, putting your arms above your head & just stretching normally, scrunching your eyes together, Changbin licks his lips subconsciously. "ehhh, lets have you just simply touch your toes hm? try hold it." he says, coming up behind you to help you with keeping you as folded as possible but as he is doing this, his covered cock is now against your ass & your cheeks blush.

You hold it, quite liking the burn in the back of your legs but liking the feeling of binnie pressed against your ass more. You let out a small huff & a second later you're pulled up abruptly by Changbins calloused hands around your waist. "You said 30 seconds didn't you?" you ask, slightly confused. "yeah but that guy over there kept staring at you & i didn't appreciate it." He says, glancing over at the guy who was in the gym when you arrived is now slightly closer, 'on his phone'. "ooo my jealous baby" you smile at him, kissing his cheek & scratching under his chin like a catplayfully. "anyways, let's just go on the treadmill or something for now hm?" you ask, holding his hand in your & nods, still got a bit of a frown on his face.

~TIME SKIP~

It's been an hour & you & changbin have been on multiple areas, he helped you get used to a lot of leg strength machines just to show you how they worked but mainly helped you train arms. The other guy has since now left & its just you two left in the gym. "Okay so to finish up, why not we do some squats hm? it helps arms & obviously your glutes too. I'll help your form so don't worry jagi." He says, picking up two 20lb weights & giving them to you. You sigh loudly as you take them & Changbin helps you get into position. You squat down, looking into the same mirror as earlier & hold it, changbin holding your hips. "your ass looks good like this, i could get used to helping you" he says, giving it a playful slap. You wince at the slap & drop the weights before standing up right. "stop the teasing binnie! I need to take this seriously if i want results." you giggle back before grabbing his hands & putting them back on your waist as you pick up the weights again & continuing.

"y/n you need to put your legs slightly further apart." He says & you try to slightly split them, still in your position. "wait, a little bit less jagi, wait i'ma try something" He says & before you get to respond, you see changbin lying down & starting to slide underneath your legs. "They should be as far apart as how wide the bottom of my ribs are, mkay? I know you know that much so try think about it that way." You giggle as you look down & see his cute, pretty smile & face looking up at you. You nod as you breathe through your mouth & he starts so slide back out from underneath you but he notices something... a small wet spot right where your crotch is. "jagi, drop the weights for a second." You don't need to think twice since your arms are burning along with your legs at this point, dropping them to the sides.

You stand up as changbin finishes sliding out from under you & is behind you again & he wraps his huge arms around your chest & waist as he kisses your neck back. He nibbles your earlobe & whispers; "meet me in the changing rooms in a minute, cameras are watching us & they might come find us if we leave at the same time" He kisses your cheek before leaving, leaving you excited & also confused.

You put the weights away & try look busy for a few minutes before you head into the boys changing rooms & you are immediately ambushed by changbins lips. You moan into it with surprise before he leans you against the wall, large hand resting on it right next to your head as he has the other hand loosely wrapped around your neck. "Wheres this suddenly came from hm? Couldn't wait until we got home, no?" You tease, your own hand coming own to play with his sweatpants drawstrings. " suddenly? Hope you know you have a literal wet patch on your leggings baby, you sure you weren't just waiting for me to do this hm?" he teases back, fingers from your neck trailing under your sports bra to begin pinching your nipples, you whine in response. "Well how can you expect me to not be wet when your hands were basically touching me more than my own clothes hmm? grinding against me?" You say, pawing his joggers & boxers down just enough to free his cock.

You kiss his lips again before slouching down to your knees & taking a hold of his thick dick in your hand, fingers just barely wrapping fully around it. You begin kitten licking the tip & along the sides, paying extra attention to the sweet spot right under the bottom of his tip, he lets out a low groan in response. "Jagi please, don't tease.. Can i just put it in you? i'm desperate baby" he whines, thrusting his dick in your hands, tip hitting your tongue & lips. "I would say no & suck your soul out but my jaw is still sore from earlier when you fucked my face." you smirk up at hiss blushed cheeks & damp sweaty hair as you stand up & he helps pull your leggings just below your ass as your face is pressed against the wall.

"your ass is so perfect gorgeous, to die for." changbin hums, giving it a light smack & caress. "you sure you can take it baby hm? want me to open you with my tongue or something first? you know i'm big." He asks in a sweet tone as his fingers are spreading your folds, teasing you further. You whine & squirm at the contact as he plays with your pussy open, trying to get more contact. "I can take it Bin' i should be able to since you fucked me so good earlier, please put it in" you whine, moving your head so you can make eye contact with him. He nods as he grabs his cock again & pumps it twice before lining it up at your entrance & then pushes just the tip in, you let out a breathy gasp.

"H-holy fuck.. s-so big oh my" you whimper out, feeling his heavy tip splitting you open.

"Told you baby, i'm gonna push in more now mkay?" he asks as he leans & kisses your shoulder as he starts paving his way into your velvet walls, him holding his breath subconsciously as you let out a long whine at the feeling, eyes scrunched together as you finally feel his balls hit the bottom of your cunt.

"so wet for me baby, letting me into you like this, so good for me hunny, can i move now hmm?" he asks in a higher pitched voice, stroking your hair as he does so. "yes.. j-just move.. p-please Binnie please" you reply, fingers trying to dig into the walls with how much you're trying to grip the walls. He hums before letting go of your hair & starts a slow but strong stroke movement. You start letting out raspy whines as you hear skin clapping around the room as his cock quite literally splits you in half.

"F-f-uck Bi-binnie already gon' cum, holy shi" you moan, clenching around his cock unintentionally. Changbin lets out a satisfied whine as his hand slithers down to start rubbing your clit which makes you start squirming even more, moans getting louder. Changbin smacks your pussy lightly "Shhh we need to be quiet baby mkay? we are in a gym remember." he whispers in your ears as your eyes roll to the back of your head, being reduced to a melted pile against the wall he's fucking you into.

His hand resumes its movement on your clit as you cum around his dick, walls not being able to clench too much due to the genuine thickness of his cock in you. "good girl, cumming around me like this, so hot for me." He gives you a moment rest from the abuse on your clit before he starts resuming his movements, making you thrash but it's no use as he wraps his hand in your hair as he lifts you so you're now positioned back to chest as his thick, muscly arm wraps around your waist & stomach as he continues pounding your now red & swollen cunt.

His hips start to stutter & you know he's close but you're in too much of your own world to propely mention it. "Bin' s-so f-ffull.. fuck" you say but comes out as a raspy whisper at this point due to the amount of moaning you've been letting through your lips, your voice is now starting to leave. "awk yeah? so full in you hm? why not you have a better feel?" he asks as he grabs you hand & presses it into your own lower tummy & you let out an even bigger groan at feeling his dick quite literally fucking into you.

You throw your head back into his shoulder as you feel it, moving the angle of your head just enough so you can reach changbins lips & you kiss him full of tongue as you feel his hot release painting your walls as his hips stutter. His eyebrows furrow as he lets out a high pitched groan into your lips, hair stuck to his face.

You break the kiss to let you both catch your breath back. " that's definitely in one of the top 3 best quickies we've ever had & definitely the hotttest, i love you pretty pretty." he says to you in deep breaths, smiling at you as you lean your arms against the wall again. You go to reply when someone knocks on the changing room door... it is an employee. You both shoot a glance at eachother with wide eyes, trying not to laugh, You mouth the words 'I love you too & i agree' & you go to hide in one of the cubicles as changbin quickly pulls his sweatpants back up before unlocking the changing room door. "uh yeah? anything wrong?" he asks through the door, voice tinged with embarrassment.

[messrmoonyy]

And she would rescue me

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

Summary- Tess doesn’t know why she stopped to help you. She doesn’t know why she thought bringing into the QZ was a good idea either. But now you’re in her apartment and she’ll be damned if she’s about to let you die. Snippets of the days you spend with her

A/N- this came to me so randomly in the middle of getting extremely frustrated over a request I couldn’t get my mind to wrap around, and I smashed out a few thousand words and decided I loved it. I feel like there’s a lot of injured reader x Joel fics but not enough Tess ones. So here’s my spin on it.

Warnings- 18+ || light discussion of injuries, I think this is sliigghttllyyy ooc tess, tess realising she can actually let someone in, tess learning to trust tbh, smut towards the end( it isn’t as detailed as usual cause Lord this OS is long I had to chop things out ) : oral ( reader receiving ) , fingering ( tess receiving), tess gets a little panicked during one part of the smut but she’s totally okay, can I get a hell yeah for tess being vulnerable?!

Word count- 13k only proof read once

Navigation | TLOU masterlist | AO3

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated/ encouraged <3

She didn’t really know why she’d done it. Why she hadn’t just… kept walking. Minded her own fucking business and gone home. But how could she? She still had some kind of humanity left in her, enough that meant she wouldn’t just walk past a girl dying.

Which, when she thought about it, was almost laughable. She’d left her fair share of people dying, most of them dying because of her own actions. So. Clearly her humanity liked to pick and choose its moments. And maybe if this scenario had happened 10 more years into the apocalypse, she would have left you there.

But it hadn’t. The world was still yet to rip the final shreds of humanity out of her.

You had been in a heap at the bottom of a slope, where the concrete of the road had been bombed and now created a jagged rocky mess. She’d thought you were dead at first. No one really ever survived outside the wall on their own, so it wasn’t wrong of her to assume. And if she was truly honest she thought that checking on you was worth it, even if you were dead because you might actually have something decent on you.

Well that’s what she’d told Joel anyway. Her and Joel were close, ridiculously close. They knew each other inside and out but she always noticed she had held onto a little more of her humanity of the years where as he seemed to have buried his deeply away. She was the one that still had a tiny candle flickering in her chest, a warmth that allowed her to hope and care. Even if some days she did feel like snuffing it out. No matter how twisted and dark her mind had become over the years, she still had some light trapped in there.

And so even with Joel’s complaints she had gone over to you. Using the excuse of simply hoping to pull something useful from the corpse. But no. You’d been alive. Barely it seemed. But alive.

Firstly she’d checked you over for any sign of a bite, carefully pushing at you and moving your clothes for any sign of fungus crawling through your veins. Last thing she wanted was another infected crawling around out there, as if their journeys out of the city weren’t difficult enough as it was. So she checked, ready to shoot you in the head if she found even a single sign of a mushroom. And when she’d found none… she’d stood up to leave. You had nothing on you. Even your clothes were fucked. Nothing worth her time. You’d be dead soon and just another body littering the streets. She should just go home and get out of the rain.

But she found herself unable to move. Even when Joel chastised her for wasting time when he just wanted to get back inside the wall and drink himself to sleep.

“ I am not taking some damn girl back inside the wall “ he hissed “ This isn’t you Tess “

“ she’s dying Joel “

“ and so let her die. People die every goddamn day. Including us if we get caught tryna smuggle some girl through the wall. And what’re you gonna do when you get back? What if she dies anyway huh? “

She’d looked down at you again, debating listening to him. If you did die on the way back she’d be stuck with the task of trying to dispose of a dead body. Which she had done plenty of times before but, if they found you without any records of ever being accepted into the QZ? That could cause some problems.

But you were still alive. Somehow. Somehow you had managed to survive out there, and from the flaking dried blood on your face you’d been there a while. You were strong. She liked that.

Joel was wrapped around her finger so even with his protesting it didn’t surprise her that she’d managed to talk him round.

The real surprise was that they’d managed to get back inside the wall, through the tunnels and into her apartment unnoticed. Joel unceremoniously dumping you down on her bed and leaving with muttered curses under his breath that he wasn’t gonna help if she got caught. Which was bullshit. Of course he would.

That had been 2 days ago.

You were still where Joel had left you, but she made you more comfortable. Changed you out of your filthy clothes and bandaged your ankle. From the bruising and the swelling she assumed you’d broken it. But there wasn’t much telling what exactly you’d done, X-rays weren’t exactly easy to go and get now.

She’d also cleaned the injury on your head, washing away the dried blood and stitching up the wound. It wasn’t exactly neat. But she didn’t think you’d mind. She’d saved your life after all. She sat you up every now and again to coax water into you, smashing up painkillers and dissolving them in some hope you weren’t in too much pain.

You’d barely woken up the entire time. Occasionally your eyes would open for a few seconds, gaze around the room in a way that made you look drunk, and then pass back out again. She was starting to get worried. Because you needed to eat sooner rather than later. Dosing you with water and pills was one thing but it would be useless if you didn’t eat anything.

She kept a close eye on you. Locking the doors whenever she went out for work assignments and hoping you wouldn’t wake up and freak out whilst she was gone. But you didn’t. She came home, gave you water and meds, and then went to bed.

She’d been sleeping on the couch. The bed was big enough for two. But she guessed you waking up not only in a strange place but with a strange person next to you might just kill you anyway from the shock.

It made her want to laugh sometimes when she lay there at night. Maybe she was getting soft. Running around like Florence fucking Nightingale looking after a stranger that was probably gonna die anyway. And for what? What solid reason did she have for it?

None. Absolutely none.

But she couldn’t help it. Continuously tending to you and keeping you clean, keeping your bandages fresh. Wiping at your face and wondering where you’d come from, how you’d ended up out there. She had so many questions.

She was getting soft.

You woke up properly a few days after she’d found you. She wasn’t entirely sure if your bouts of unconsciousness had been due to the head injury or the painkillers. Maybe it was both. Either way, your eyes were fully open now.

To her surprise you didn’t look afraid. She found it made that little candle in her chest burn a little brighter for a moment. She was so used to people being afraid. She liked it, of course she did. But the change was nice for a brief moment. To see kind eyes looking at her like she was… a person.

You were both silent. Neither of you seemingly knowing what to say in the moment. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead. And she was confused to find herself stuck for words. Unsure of what to do. She usually was ten steps ahead of everyone, could read a room in an instant and know exactly what her next move would be.

But not now. Not there with you looking at her like that. It was frustrating.

“ welcome to the world of the living sweetheart “ she finally said, crossing her arms over her chest and watching you closely “ or half living I suppose “

“ where am I? “ your voice was hoarse. Probably because you hadn’t used it for so long. It was curious though. Not afraid. No fear laced your words as you glanced around the room, landing back on her and tilting your head slightly to the side like an inquisitive animal.

“ Boston QZ “ Tess finally spoke, grabbing a chair from the kitchen table and pulling it to the end of the bed and sitting down. You watched her every move, eyes following her from the table to where she sat “ I found you outside the wall. What the fuck were you doing out there huh? “

You seemed to ponder on the question for a moment, flickers of confusion flashing across your face. You didn’t know. How hard had you hit your head?

“ I’m not- I’m not sure - how long have I been here? “

“ few days “ your eyes widened at that, eyebrows flying up in a way that clearly hurt the wound on your head. Your hand came up to touch it, gingerly patting the stitched up space in your hairline. You then pulled at the blankets to see your ankle neatly bandaged up.

“ I fell “

“ I guess so “ she said with a sarcastic tone seeping its way into her words. Of course you’d fallen. It didn’t take a genius to work that one out.

“ so you… brought me here? “

“ a thank you would be fuckin nice “

“ oh! Thank you. Yeah of course “ you said quickly, blush creeping across your cheeks. She surprised herself by immediately thinking how… cute… it looked.

“ you feel okay though? “ she asked, immediately trying to rid herself of her previous thought. You nodded and yours eyes fell back onto her, sheepishly avoiding her gaze for more than a few seconds.

“ kinda hungry though “ to her surprise that made her smile, exhaling shortly though her nose in a small laugh.

“ yeah I bet “ she felt your eyes on her the entire time she was pottering around in the kitchenette deciding what food to get you. A small part of her did think she should’ve been smarter than to turn her back on you, you could’ve gotten out of bed and found one of the numerous weapons littered around the place. Killed her and escaped thinking she’d kidnapped you or something.

It made her glance over her shoulder.

“ you’re not gonna hurt me are you “ you said suddenly. It came out as more of statement or a fact than a question though, like you were telling yourself out loud to confirm it. Not really asking her.

“ if I wanted to hurt you I would’ve done it by now. Fuck I wouldn’t have even risked my ass bringing you though the wall “ she made her way back over to you, placing down a couple of the rationed food bars she had in front of you “ they taste like shit. But apparently one bar equals a whole fuckin meal or whatever propaganda bullshit the Military wanna tell us. Just tryna make us eat less “

“ thank you “ your eyes suddenly seemed ravenous, grabbing at the bar and taking a large bite

“ fuck. Slow down. You haven’t eaten in a week you keep going like that you’ll puke the whole thing up in ten minutes “ your cheeks flushed and you nodded, taking smaller nibbles from the shitty food bar. Looking at them already made her crave the fresh food from Bills. It’d only been days and she’d do anything for a vegetable that actually crunched. And had taste “ you can stay here till your ankles fixed… just be quiet. Stay out of sight. Last thing I want is my neck hanging from a fuckin rope because i got caught with an unregistered citizen. Okay? “

“ thank you “ she moved back to the table then, not really knowing what else she was supposed to say to you, and made herself look busy by counting ration cards. As if she hadn’t already gotten the exact number already twice over.

She was mildly regretting bringing you back. What was she supposed to do with you now? At least when you were asleep she didn’t have to worry about you drawing attention to yourself. Now you were awake, what if someone saw you. Or you decided you were in fact scared of her and started screaming or something.

She was such a fuckin idiot. Always acting on impulse when she was tired. And she had been after that hike from Lincoln. She was usually quite rational, but that all went out the window with you clearly. She should’ve listened to Joel. She probably wouldn’t even remember you by now if she’d just left you there. And now? Now she was stuck with an unregistered citizen in her apartment for fuck knows how long.

Way to fuckin go Tess.

“ I didn’t think.. I didn’t think you’d actually hurt me you know? “ you said as she stacked the cards, her eyes flickered up to find you watching her “ I just. I don’t know why I asked really. I actually feel pretty safe here. That’s stupid isn’t it? “

“ a little bit stupid. Yeah “ she agreed.

“ No one’s kind anymore. But you are. You helped me “ was she kind? Was she? She used to be. She wasn’t so sure anymore “ and you’re a woman “

“ nice observation “

“ no I mean. Men were shitty before but now? We ran into this group on the way here… I can’t remember their names but. They just took girls because they could. Kept them like slaves. Infected aren’t the scariest thing out there “ she knew that was true. Not to say that some women weren’t just as shitty. But the men were having a field day with the apocalypse. All rules had gone out the window.

It was stupid of you to trust her so easily, woman or not. She could very much have been planning to hurt you. Or demand something in return for her good nature. She wasn’t going to of course. But most people would’ve done that. If they’d even bothered to stop to help you at all.

Maybe she was kind.

By your third night- well. Nights that you were aware of anyway- in her apartment she was starting to miss when you were passed out. You woke up screaming somewhere in the early hours each night, thrashing around in the sheets and sobbing about things you couldn’t seem to explain to her.

So much for not drawing any attention to yourself.

She knew you couldn’t help it. Not really. She knew first hand from Joel. From her own nightmares that liked to sneak their way into her dreams from time to time. But you needed to be quiet.

She wondered if you’d been trapped in an endless cycle of those dream when you were unconscious. If you had been watching them on a loop as she attempted to care for you, looking so peaceful but screaming on the inside.

“ you wanna talk about those dreams of yours? “ she asked on morning number four. Remembering some slight memory of her mother telling her that talking about bad dreams would make them go away when she was a kid. Something she probably would’ve then gone on to tell her own kids. One of those small twists of the truth that parents did to try and make their children feel better. Something little and mostly useless that they took into adulthood. Even knowing that it wasn’t entirely true. But it worked a little bit.

So it was worth a try. Wasn’t it. Just because she needed you to be quiet. Not that she really cared. Of course she didn’t care. Why would she.

She couldn’t. Caring was dangerous.

“ I’m sorry I know you said about the noi- “

“ yeah you’re waking up the whole fuckin block every night sweetheart you need to get that under control “ she watched your face flush slightly in a way she had noticed you did when she slipped in the pet name. But maybe it was a mixture of embarrassment too.

It didn’t make you special. It was almost… condescending. Her way of keeping herself that one step above on the ladder, she didn’t care.

She didn’t.

“ I’m sorry I’m trying “

“ try a little harder “ you sighed and dropped your head into your hands, shaking your head. Were you crying?

“ I’m sorry “ you were “ I just keep seeing… seeing all the people and the blood and the rain and- “ she walked over to you, observing you like a injured animal that wasn’t quite sure what to do with. The kind where she didn’t know if it was kinder to kill it and put it out of it’s misery or to attempt to console it and bring it back to health.

Though clearly she was already doing the latter.

“ I told you. Tell me about them “ that came out a little lighter than she had initially meant. But she didn’t linger on it “ get it out. Probably won’t make them stop but. Might help “

You seemed to debate it, wiping at the tears on your cheeks and sighing.

She had to admit she was curious to know what was tormenting you. In the world they lived in there was plenty of things it could’ve been. They were 10 years in now and she still saw flashes of outbreak day in her dreams sometimes. Still remembered the first person she had seen infected. The first she had killed.

Death no longer bothered her. She had become numb to it in every way. Paths she had had no choice but to take, that had lead to her ending up that way. She did what she had to do to survive. But you seemed to still be coming to terms with the world around you.

You shuffled to move next to her, hanging your legs over the side of the bed with a small wince as you moved the ankle that was bandaged up.

“ me and a group. 9 of us? We were heading for the QZ. There was more of us at the start but… Pittsburgh is falling apart. A group of us snook out before it could get any worse. If that place lasts another year I’ll be surprised “ she’d heard of QZs falling apart all over the country. Boston was one of the only ones that FEDRA still had a relatively tight grip on “ we made it to the outskirts of the city… these runners came from no where and- “

She sat down on the edge of the bed as you tried to compose yourself a little, surprised to find her chest hurting a little as she watched you. Maybe it was because you seemed so… vulnerable. Somehow avoiding the hardships of the last ten years and behaving like the outbreak had only just begun.

She couldn’t help but feel inclined to protect you.

“ and how’d you end up at the bottom of that slope? “

“ me and 2 others. We made it pretty deep into the city, one of them said we should cut through the buildings. The road was fucked so I agreed. We got separated. Runners. Clickers. I just ran. Last thing I remember is the rain and and tryna get around the mess on the roads… guess I fell. Then you found me”

You’d escaped runners and clickers, and outlasted your entire group. You were really stronger than she thought. Vulnerable, yes, but still strong.

“ and that’s what you keep seeing? In your dreams? “ you nodded and sighed.

“ the others being ripped apart. Clickers chasing me. It’s so stupid I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet… I just wish they’d stop“ you dropped your head against her shoulder with a small sigh. Tess didn’t really know what to do. The gentleness of the act was almost alien to her now.

No one had been gentle with her for 10 years. Not even Joel.

You were doing something to her. Had done from the moment she’d seen you lying half dead on the floor outside. The fact that she had stopped at all. That she had brought you back. That in the 3 days you had been awake, the near constant 72 hours in your company, you had declared feeling safe with her. That you trusted her. That you looked at her and believed she could be gentle.

And Tess didn’t know how to react to it. What to do with it. She didn’t have a snarky remark to give you, simply out of fear of hurting your feelings or upsetting you. Which was ridiculous. Since when did she care about people’s feelings?

“ I promise I’ll try control it. Maybe you’re right. Maybe talking about it helped “

“ yeah. Maybe “

She had the sudden urge to tell you it’ll be okay. That she had nightmares too. That she’d lost count of the amount times she woke up in a cold sweat, images of her husband in a pool of his own blood flashing behind her eyelids, the sounds of her son fighting to escape the basement she had locked him in ringing in her ears.

Nothing haunted her more than that day. Everyone had their ghosts.

She didn’t even tell Joel but there she was wanting to tell you. To relate. To console.

She stood up before she could. Clearing her throat and heading for the door. She needed to get out of that apartment.

“ where are you going? “ the look on your face was like that of a kicked puppy, eyes wide and sad. She really needed to get out of that apartment.

“ I have shit to do. Stay quiet. Don’t open the door. I’ll be back in a few hours “ she pulled on her boots as she spoke, grabbing her bag and heading out the door in a hurry.

She needed to get back out among people that feared her. People that knew how dangerous she could be. Just to remind herself she was feared. She was dangerous. She wasn’t soft.

She. Didn’t. Care.

The fourth night was the same. She woke up to the clock on the wall showing 3:30am, you screaming at the top of your lungs and begging for help.

She got up from her makeshift bed on the couch and headed for the kitchen to get you some water, in the way that was becoming routine now. Usually by the time she reached you you’d stopped, but not tonight. You were thrashing around in the sheets, eyes still clenched tightly closed as you sobbed and screamed.

She placed the water down, her brows furrowed and sat herself on the edge of the bed. She grabbed at your arms to stop your thrashing before you hurt yourself

“ hey! You’re okay, look at me come on. Sweetheart, look at me. Just a dream. C’mon now “ your eyes flung open, terror swirling in your dilated pupils “ that’s it. Look around. You’re awake. You’re safe. You’re safe “

Clearly talking about it hadn’t helped. If anything it had made it worse.

“ no! Please- no! “

“ you gotta be quiet. Look. At. Me! “ she grabbed at your face, forcing your wild eyes to focus on her instead “ that’s it. Look at me. You see me? Not a fuckin clicker. No mushrooms in sight. You were dreamin again “ you seemed to register her words, slowly calming down as you took in her face in front of you.

“ Tess “ you whispered it with such relief, like some kind of wish in a prayer had been granted.

“ yeah. That’s right. It’s me “ you leaned into her touch, apparently grounding yourself again against the feel of her hands against your cheek. She watched you intently, the way you had known her for such little time but so clearly found comfort in her. In her touch.

She wondered if you knew the things she were capable of… if you knew the things she had done. Would you be so willing to sit there with her like that?

She let go of you and stood up.

“ no “ you said suddenly, fingers wrapping around her wrist as she attempted to return to the couch “ sorry I- “ she looked down at your hand, the way you held onto her “ I mean- can you. Could you… would you… stay? Here. With me “ she didn’t quite know why the word ‘ yeah ‘ flew into her mouth before she could even think about what you’d said. But she stopped it before it could escape “ please Tess. I’m so scared… I’d feel better if you were here “

“ I’m just around the other side of the wall “

“ please. You make me feel safe “ that took her aback. She didn’t have a single idea how to respond to that. Safe. She made you feel safe.

People didn’t feel safe around her. They felt afraid. They felt submissive to her power, they begged for their life, they felt dependent on her for their pills. They didn’t feel… safe.

But hadn’t that been what she had been trying to achieve? Hadn’t she wanted to make you feel safe. That you could exist around her and not be scared she’d hurt you. And it felt different yes, but. It felt nice too.

“ okay “ it came out far less confident than she’d wanted it to and she cleared her throat, trying to shake off the clearly obvious confusion she was experiencing “ yeah. Yeah. I’ll stay if you want “ you closed your eyes in relief and gave her a small smile, letting go of her wrist.

She watched you pull back the covers beside her and she got in, keeping a nice distance between you both. She had to admit it felt nice to be back in her bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable of things but anything was better than the couch for another night.

It felt strange laying next to someone though. She hadn’t done that for a long. Long. Time. Even when she had made her way through her string of flings and one time things, she hardly ever brought them back to her apartment. And they never slept in her bed if she did bring anyone back. She never let anyone invade her space. That felt too personal.

And yet there you were. In her bed. In her clothes. Finding herself annoyingly thinking about how much better that T-shirt looked on you than it did on her. And trying to ignore how unbelievably normal it felt having you there now. Even more so how normal and comfortable she was having you sleeping beside her.

She turned on her side to look at you, see how at peace you now looked. Your face no longer screwed up in terror, or eyes flashing wildly around the room. The only evidence of your dream the dried tear marks along your cheeks.

She reached out before she could stop herself, wiping at them softly with her fingers. There was a small scar on your left cheek below your eye, she let her finger trace it and wondered how you’d gotten it. She had too many scars to count now. Her face littered with nicks and dotted with freckles from the sun. She wondered if the face she was looking at now had changed in 10 years. If the face you now owned had looked different before the world fell apart.

She instinctively tried to pull away when your hand suddenly moved, placing it over hers gently and holding it in place.

She waited for the embarrassment to come, to ramble some excuse and probably excuse herself back to the couch. But your eyes remained closed, maybe in fear of embarrassing her. Whatever it was. She was grateful. And she let you hold her there, her hand still cupping your face as she fell asleep herself.

“ alright. Come here come look at these “ Tess broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the apartment for the last few hours, drawing your attention away from the book she had given you. She watched as you hopped your way over to the kitchen table, grabbing onto things to keep your balance whilst keeping your injured ankle off the floor.

She’d been working on papers for you for most of the day. Some half cooked insurance policy that made it look like you were a registered citizen if FEDRA happened to come knocking.

Even if they didn’t work entirely they’d still give her enough of a window to get you out before they returned again. And something was better than nothing she supposed.

“ FEDRA do random door to door checks, checking for infection “ she explained when you slumped into the chair next to her “ When they can fuckin be bothered to do it anyway… but if they do there’s a chance they’ll question why you’re here. This apartments only assigned to me, but as long as they think you’re registered it won’t matter. So. Fake papers. According to FEDRA your name is now Christine Hurley “ she didn’t mention that the real Christine Hurley was in fact in a ditch in one of the back alleys of area 2.

That the real Christine Hurley had thought trying to scam her and Joel with fake ration cards was a good idea, and had gotten a bullet in the forehead for her troubles.

“ and these will work? “

“ yeah. I make fake papers all the time to get me and Joel in and out of different areas. Should’ve been a forger pre outbreak. I’d have been rich as fuck” you laughed at that and she almost hated the way it made her heart skip. You were making her too fuckin soft and it was annoying. It was frustrating. She’d known you barely two weeks now, some of which you’d been unconscious, and yet you were making her soft. You were making her feel. Which was ridiculous

“ won’t they still question why I’m here?”

“ yeah but. They won’t really care. As long as you have papers they don’t give a shit. Found me with a girl here before. Idiot didn’t carry her papers with her. Arrested and… well fuck knows where she is now “ your face seemed to change ever so slightly at that and she wondered why “ just keep them with you”

“ you’ve had girls here before? What make a habit of rescuing people do you? “ she scoffed at that. Did she seem like the type to go around rescuing people every day?

“ no. She was here for… she was perfectly healthy. No rescuing “ it seemed to take you a moment before your eyebrows arched and you gave a nervous laugh.

“ oh “ she wasn’t embarrassed, she never had been when it came to sex or her enjoyment of it. She wondered if anyone else would’ve been. Maybe because you didn’t seem uncomfortable at the thought, in fact you seemed quite pleased about it. Something mischievous almost flashing in your eyes. “ interesting “

“ interesting? “

“ yeah. It’s interesting “ Tess raised an eyebrow but you simply shrugged, a smile tugging at your lips that you were seemingly trying and failing to suppress.

It didn’t seem mocking. More… knowing.

She changed the subject.

“ well. There’s your papers. Keep em with you “ you nodded and scanned over them, learning the new information about yourself whilst you were inside Bostons walls. Tess packed her stuff away and stood up, taking it over to the kitchen counter to hide it away in the small stash behind the back of one of the cupboards.

“ was she your girlfriend? “ Tess froze for a moment as you spoke, glancing slightly behind her to look at you. You were still looking down at the papers, like it was a casual topic to simply make conversation.

“ who? “

“ the girl. The one who didn’t have her papers “ she quirked an eyebrow and turned around , folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the counter

“ why’d you ask? “

“ is that a yes “

“ it’s not “ you hummed a response, flipping the first page over to look at the other which listed all of the work assignments Christine had completed “ she wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t… I don’t do girlfriends. Or boyfriends for that matter “

“ ahh. You’re one of those people. Alright “ you said, smiling down at the paper and clearly no longer reading it

“ what’s that supposed to mean? “

“ nothing bad. I’m just observing “ you finally looked up, sitting back in the chair with amusement on your face. It was a nice change from the sadness that seemed to be settling over your face every now and again “ let me guess. You get bored. Or lonely. So you go out, find a find a girl. Or a guy. Fuck them. Then leave them. That right? “

It was right. And she hated that you’d read her so easily.

“ no “ you scoffed at that

“ sure. But lemme ask you. Do you really feel less lonely? When you’re with them? Or is it something else? “ she didn’t like where this conversation was going. At all. Or the fact that it genuinely made her think. No. Of course it didn’t make her feel less lonely. If anything it simply made it worse

“ I’m not lonely. I’m better on my own “

“ I don’t think that’s true “

“ yeah. Well you know nothing about me” her words were a little harsh. Defensive. She didn’t want people knowing about her, didn’t need someone trying to figure her out.

“ but I want to know “ you didn’t seem shocked by her tone, or her words.

“ you don’t “ she didn’t want to tell you. She didn’t want to tell you about herself or reveal things about her.

Because it would only scare you off. She knew it.

“ hmmm. I do “ you smiled as you said it and she couldnt help the way it eased the tension brewing in her muscles “ you don’t have to tell me bad stuff. Just. Tell me fun stuff. I’m so starved of like… girl talk “ Tess scoffed

“ there were no girls in your group? “

“ there was two. One was a kid. And the other liked to grab me when her boyfriend pissed her off. Then tell me after it was totally a ‘ one time thing and she was literally so straight ‘ “ you said with a laugh and bending your fingers into air quotes.

“ oh I’ve known a few like that “ Tess found she didn’t actually mind that topic of conversation. Because it was something she was comfortable with and something she could control. And didn’t directly reveal anything about herself. So she sat herself back at the table with you.

“ so was I right then? You just fucking your way through the QZ for the fun of it? “

“ I wouldn’t exactly put it like that “

“ so how would you put it “ you leant forward, chin on your hand and a cheeky smile plastered across your face. You were loving it. And Tess did have to admit talking to someone other than Joel was a decent change.

“ the worlds a pile of shit. I won’t deny myself small pleasures “ your grin grew at that

“ bet you have them lining up for you huh? That scary thing you do… yeah. I bet the guys don’t like that though, you whip them into shape too? “ you said and wiggled your eyebrows in a way she couldn’t help but laugh at. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d really laughed.

“ I prefer women. They’re more interesting to look at “

“ agreed “ even before the outbreak she’d preferred girls. It was true, they were far more interesting, softer, squishier, easier to navigate. Prettier. She couldn’t help the way her eyes wandered over you, mind suddenly running wild. And from the look in your eyes, so was yours.

Two evidently touch starved people in such close proximity, with that topic of conversation was never going to end well.

And so she distanced herself before she could put herself in a compromising situation.

“ I have to go do some work. But I’ll be back soon “ she said and stood up, heading for the door and grabbing her backpack “ don’t- “

“ open the door. Make any sound. Draw any attention to myself. Yes ma’am “ you said, that grin still stuck on your face “ oh and don’t go bringing anyone else back here. You might make me jealous “ you looked back down at your papers then, leaving Tess’ mind still reeling as she opened the door and headed out.

—————————————————————

The nightmares came again that night, seemingly worse than the previous, leaving you in floods of tears after you woke up. And to Tess’ surprise you fell into her arms, clutching at her tshirt as you sobbed and sniffled. She felt her previous annoyance at being woken up fizzle away in an instant, replaced with a deep ache in her chest. Pain at seeing you so upset when you had been so happy during the day.

It concerned her slightly how much she enjoyed your smile. The way your eyes lit up around her. And how much she hated the tears and the sadness now plaguing your features.

“ you’re okay sweetheart. I’ve got you “ she said softly, tucking your head under her chin in a way that surprised her as your sobs turned to hiccups and sniffles. You were gripping her tightly, fingers twisted into the material of her shirt as if you were afraid she was about to push you away and leave you there.

Maybe if you had done that on night one she would’ve. It was strange how much had changed in days. How being around you practically 24/7 had changed her thoughts. She didn’t know if she liked it. if she liked how you seemed to be wiggling your way through the cold exterior of her heart, like a worm trying to reach the core of an apple. Burrowing through until it could reach the centre and stay there.

That almost did make her let you go.

She couldn’t have that. She couldn’t have herself worrying about someone else. Caring about someone else. That was dangerous. And you didn’t care for her. You didn’t worry. So why should she? Why should she allow herself the stupidity of getting into something so clearly one sided. And something she so clearly didn’t have control over. It scared her.

She felt like she was in a car that had had its breaks cut, hurtling towards a brick wall and she had no way of bringing it to a stop.

She really was getting soft. Ridiculously so. There she was sat at her table flicking through a faded and damaged medical book she’d traded for on the black market the previous day, so she could try and figure out how to get you back on your feet again.

She was reluctantly letting it happen now. Just accepting that she was doomed. That for the short time you would be with her she would allow herself this pathetic softness. And the second you were gone she would have her control back. It was all your fault. Yours completely. Luring her in to believe she could feel. To believe she was allowed to feel. To believe that someone could possibly feel for her.

It was stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.

“ so I’m pretty sure just a super fuckin bad sprain. Says here… two weeks it’ll normally start feeling better. But can take up to eight to fully heal “ she said, clearing her throat in some attempt to distract her thoughts.

“ it does feel better than when I first woke up. So two weeks is accurate “ she placed the book down and went over to where you had your ankle up resting on a couch cushion. She peeled away the bandages she’d wrapped tightly around it to give it some support, pressing and poking slightly at the fading bruises.

“ can you move it? Wiggle your toes and shit? “ you did just that and she shrugged. She was no doctor. But she patched herself and Joel up enough over the years “ alright. c’mon. Up “ she held out her hands and you took them, they looked so soft and delicate compared to hers. A scar here and there but somehow mostly clear. Nothing compared to the scratches and scrapes on hers. The scars on her knuckles from the numerous times she’d split them open.

Hands like that didn’t fit together. Didn’t meet. Hands like hers didn’t deserve the privilege of touching hands like yours. Hands like hers didn’t deserve to touch anyone in a gentle way. They were for business. For hurting. For pain. Yours weren’t. Yours were soft. Smooth. Yours were made for caressing and soothing, for receiving soft kisses on the back.

She was losing it.

She guided one of your arms around her shoulders and helped you get your balance.

“ don’t try walk. Just. Just try put your weight on it “

“ what if- “

“ don’t worry. I’ve got you. Just be careful yeah? “ she watched you carefully as you gently placed your foot down, eyebrows furrowing as you did and hissing in pain through your teeth “ I said carefully “ you sighed and put it flat on the floor but still heavily leaning against her “ feels okay? “

“ hurts “ Tess nodded and held you tighter around the waist

“ try not to lean on me so much. You won’t fall over. I’ve got a hold of you “

“ oh you’re gonna catch me? “ you said with a small laugh, eyes flickering up to hers briefly. The tone of your voice made her throat a little dry and she couldn’t figure out exactly why.

“ yeah. Yeah I got you “ your face screwed up slightly as she watched you out more of your weight onto it and get used to the feeling.

She held you there for a couple of minutes to regain your balance before slipping your arm off of her and holding your hands in hers.

“ now try walk. Hold onto me “

“ I don’t think I- “

“ just try. Look at me “ you watched her face carefully as she took small steps back, helping you to get used to the feeling of the ankle being used again.

She was glad Joel had work assignments that day. She didn’t think she’d ever live it down if he turned up at her apartment and saw that. Saw her holding you so carefully and helping you walk again like a child.

But she found in the hour or so that she did it, her cheeks began to hurt from smiling. For once in her life feeling like the world wasn’t on her shoulders, happy. Smiling. You smiling with her.

It was nice.

“ you got it! Nice work sweetheart “ she watched the utter joy on your face as you managed to keep your balance on your own and walk before falling into her arms.

“ fuck yeah “ you laughed seemingly now exhausted from the small amount of work. But she didn’t blame you after so long unable to do anything “ can we rest now? “

“ we can do whatever you want “ she said with a small laugh, arms wrapped around you to keep you up right.

“ anything? “ you asked quietly, smile fading slightly and looking up at her intently. Tess furrowed her brows, slightly confused at what exactly you were asking her.

It took her completely by surprise when you leant up and kissed her. Standing practically shell shocked as you pressed your lips to hers. It was only a few seconds and then you were pulling back, cheeks flaming red and closing your eyes with a shake of your head

“ god I’m so- Tess I’m sorry I don’t know why I- “

“ you need to rest “ she said and cleared her throat, not wanting to think about had just happened for even a second. Not prepared to deal with the spiral it would inevitably send her down.

All she knew. Was that she was fucked. well. And truly. Fucked.

“ just stay close to me. Try not to talk to anyone. And don’t touch anything“ Tess instructed as she pushed back a palette keeping one of the exits out of the tunnels covered

“ yes ma’am “ you said with a smile and a mock salute, following her through the gap and standing patiently as she dragged the palette back into place “ will there be officers? “

“ maybe. But the ones around here are just as bad as the smugglers. They’re some of our best customers for pills. Turns out sending people to the gallows everyday can fuck you up. Who’d have guessed? Just do as I say “ you stood ridiculously close to her, eventually wrapping your fingers around her wrist as you both entered the courtyard. She wasn’t in the mood to loiter and headed straight for the people she needed. Trading off cards for boots, a new jacket, some shirts and jeans.

Stuff you’d need. That she didn’t have a surplus of.

Ration cards were as precious as gold those days. And she was spending her hard earned ones on you. She definitely wouldn’t telling Joel about that.

She found she didn’t mind though. She wanted you to be prepared. Safe. And the boots she’d found you in barely had any soles left. You wouldn’t get far in those.

It had been a week since you’d kissed her and neither of you had mentioned it since. Falling back into that comfortable thing you’d been developing before. Where you could make her laugh and smile. And you would tease her for being too grumpy which would make you smile.

It was odd how normal it was starting to feel having you around. But she always ruined the moment by thinking about the future. About how empty her apartment would feel when you leave. She’d gotten used to you. And she almost didn’t want to let you go.

Maybe she could work something out, wrap some officers around to her thinking and get you some official papers. She could train you up to help her with her smuggling, show you the ropes and tell you who the best people to deal with were. And who to avoid like the plague.

It could be nice.

“ Tess. Haven’t seen you around for a few days. Where you been hiding? “ she felt you tense beside her as one of the FEDRA officers on her client list made his way towards her. He was a cocky son of a bitch, one who constantly tried to make her lower her prices and was notoriously known for being too heavy handed with the girls he paid for. And had been trying to get his way into her pants for months. Seemingly thinking offering her his dick was worth a half price deal on his pills.

“ don’t. Speak. Let me do the talking “ Tess said in a low voice close to your ear, looking like she was entirely too fascinated by the piles of clothes in front of her “ I’m not selling today Marcus. You know I don’t get shit until the end of the month “

“ I know. I know. Cant I be friendly and say hello? “ she rolled her eyes, hoping he’d just fuck off and leave her be now that he knew she didn’t have what he wanted “ who’s the new pet? Following you around like a little lost puppy? “ you shuffled closer to her if that was even possible, fingers tightly gripping at her wrist.

“ that’s none of your concern “

“ pretty thing “ he said with a smirk, craning his head to try and look at where you were attempting to hide behind her. She surprised herself for the millionth time since she’d found you, when she felt a burning jealousy in her chest. She didnt like the thought of anyone talking about you. Even looking at you. Thinking about you. Which was fuckin. Stupid. But she hated it “ maybe you come give me a visit when she’s done with you huh? “

“ I don’t think so “ her voice was bitter, unable to stop herself from appearing as jealous as she was

“ what? Cant she speak for herself? Come on Tess. It’s nice to share “

“ not this one “ she freed her wrist from your grasp and draped her arm around your shoulder instead, pulling you against her body. You sighed a slight sigh of relief at the contact, pressing yourself against her. She tossed down some more cards for the clothes and handed them to you “ put ‘em in your bag “ you did as you were told, the slightly worried expression that had been on you face still there. But a little less now she had a hold of you.

“ settling down? You’re not the type. You send her my way when you get bored. I’ll be waiting. I’ll even pay you double on my next batch “ Tess scoffed and turned to face him, trying to ignore the burning anger boiling away in her chest at the thought of him anywhere near you.

She saw the state he left some girls in, the thought of that happening to you was enough to make her want to put a bullet through his head in the middle of the courtyard.

“ you know that’s not my game “ he shrugged and raised his hands in mock surrender “ go talk to Robert he’ll point you in the right direction. But this one? She’s mine. So back the fuck off. And come find me at the end of the month for your shit. Okay? “ she enjoyed the way that even the officers listened when she commanded it, that the simple tone of voice and the reputation she was gaining was enough to make anyone do as she said.

“ alright alright. Stay out of trouble “ he said with another smirk, but not as smug as it previously had been “ and you “ he said, throwing a wink at you and walked away.

“ let’s get you home yeah? “ she said it loud enough that she hoped Marcus heard it. That you were going back with her. Not him. Never him.

“ yes please “ she could feel your eyes burning into her as you walked back, almost tripping up because you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking.

You seemed flustered. Frantic almost. She wondered if Marcus had shaken you up, overwhelmed you.

She couldn’t have been more wrong if she’d tried. Once you both got back into her apartment she realised what had gotten into you.

You grabbed at her arm when she closed the door, yanking at her with a confidence she hadn’t seen from you before. You pulled her close and to her surprise yet again, you kissed her. For the second time. It was a lot more confident than the first, more… desperate. Your lips pressing harder against hers than she’d expected.

She found herself kissing you back that time, turning you around and crowding you back against the door. She knew she shouldn’t haven given in, shouldn’t be letting her desire her in the way of what she knew was right and wrong.

But she couldn’t help herself.

Maybe it was the pent up jealousy and anger from down in the market, kissing you being the safest form of release for it. And the most enjoyable. Not that battering the fuck out of Marcus wouldn’t have been thoroughly enjoyable. But making out with you? It beat anything else by miles.

It made her regret not kissing you back the first time, when your lips felt like that against hers. Tasted like that. It felt cruel to have denied herself of it.

It was the feel of your fingers gently pushing at her shirt that snapped her back into reality, made her see some common sense again.

“ hey. Hey we can’t “ she said softly, hands soothing over your arms and closing her eyes for a moment. She sighed and looked at you, your cheeks flushed “ we can’t “ she didn’t explain herself. Couldn’t. Couldn’t tell you that she was getting far too attached. That sleeping with you could well and truly be the final nail in the coffin that she was burying herself in.

“ I’m sorry “ you said, clearly embarrassed. Tess couldn’t tear her eyes away from your lips. Parted and glossy with saliva. She wanted to kiss you again.

“ it’s okay. Don’t sweat it “ she looked away before she could.

“ just. The way you were out there. With that officer and and the way you spoke about me I- god “ she found a smile tugging at her lips as she watched your flustered attempt to explain, groaning and putting your head in your hands. She nudged her fingers under your chin to make you look at her, noticing the way your breath shuddered slightly. You were so easy to work up.

“ don’t be embarrassed “ she could practically see you melting under her gaze, the low tone of her voice and intense gaze making you look ready to drop to your knees. And wouldn’t that be a sight.

A sight she had to remind herself she did not need to see.

“ go empty your bag, take a shower or something i don’t know about you but that market makes me feel grimy as fuck. Then we won’t talk about it. Yeah?” You nodded your head and gave her a warm smile

“ yeah “ she stepped away from you, watching you head for the bathroom and close the door behind you. She ran a hand over her face, a deep sigh shuddering past her lips. What was she doing?

Usually she would’ve kept going. Would’ve happily fucked you and been fine about it. She was no stranger to doing just that and then moving on. But there was something about you. Something about the anger she had felt around Marcus, the jealousy and the possessiveness.

Even the fact that she was still sharing a bed with you. And most nights now she’d wake up to find you pressed against her. Cuddling like a couple as if it were the most normal thing. That she enjoyed waking up to your smile, your eyes. You.

What had you done to her?

“ I think you’re gonna have to go soon “ the realisation of the fact had hit her like a ton of bricks that morning. Or maybe it had been sooner than that and she had been forcing herself to ignore it.

Your lack of reaction told her you probably knew that.

Staying with her had never been a permanent thing. But she felt she was pushing her luck now, the fact you had managed to stay as long as you had was a miracle in itself.

“ they found a whole group of unregistered people in an apartment in area 3 the other day. FEDRAS upping their random checks and… look I’m good at fake papers but they can only do so much. If they find out you’re not a registered citizen they’ll have you up on the gallows before you can even tell them your real name “ she ran a hand over her face with a deep sigh “ and I can’t fuckin see that happen to you sweetheart I can’t “

You didn’t say anything right away, which she hated. It meant that her words hung there in the silence for a little too long. Gave her that minute too long to think about them and wish she could yank them back and shove them back down her throat.

Then your hand tentatively reached out for hers that was on the table, fingers ghosting over her knuckles before gently squeezing in what she assumed was your attempt at reassuring her.

“ I never thought I’d even make it into Boston and with your help I wouldn’t have. I thought you’d kick me out the moment I’d woken up. I never expected you to let me stay as long as you have and put yourself in a position… I’m trying to say thank you I guess. And that… I know… I know you wouldn’t tell me to go unless I really had to “

She glanced up at you and couldn’t quite read the expressions on your face. It annoyed her still. How she couldn’t get a grasp on you, couldn’t get into your head in the way she could with others. But that didn’t matter anymore did it. You were leaving.

“ I know this couple in a town not too far from here. That’s where I was coming from when I found you… Bill and Frank. I spoke to Frank last night on the radio and he said you can go there for a few days. They have more supplies than you can fuckin imagine they’ll give you what you need. Franks real good with the radio he’s gonna listen in, see what he can hear and find you a QZ that’s letting people in “ you nodded and gave her a small smile

“ how do I get there? “

“ I’ll take you “ there was never any question in that. You’d almost died on your way in. Never mind the way out. You nodded, processing the information.

Talking to Frank on the radio the previous night has been hard but now she was discussing with you it made it feel far too real. The stark realisation that you wouldn’t be in the room after tomorrow. You wouldn’t be in her bed, smiling at her when you woke up, loudly commenting on the book you were reading when a character did something you didn’t like. Just your presence .

“ c’mere for a second “ you rose to your feet instantly walking over to her and standing between her legs. She ran her hands gently along your legs and looked up at you, her gaze soft “ I’ll make sure you get there safe. I promise you Bill and Frank will help you out “

You straddled her thighs, looping your arms around her neck and pressing your forehead to hers. It felt too… romantic. Intimate. It felt exactly what she had been so terribly trying to avoid. but maybe she was stupid for ever thinking she could live with you and be around you so constantly and not end up in such a position. You were like a siren luring her in, filling her senses and overwhelming her with desire no matter how hard she attempted to fight it. No one would’ve been able to resist you. No one.

“ I’m gonna miss you “ you whispered, so close your lips brushed hers as you spoke “ I’m gonna miss your stupid face “ Tess chuckled at that.

“ stupid? “

“ mhm. So stupid “

“ so stupid you try kiss me any chance you fuckin get? “ it was the first time you’d both actually mentioned either of the kisses out loud. But she guessed it didn’t matter if it made things awkward now.

You were leaving. What did she have to lose.

“ I have a head injury I don’t think my thought process can be trusted “

“ it can’t “ you twisted a lock of her dark hair around your finger, another thing that felt casually intimate.

“ I guess I cant be blamed then. Cant be blamed for this either “ she refused to let her fears get the better of her that time. Taking the chance whilst she still had it, kissing you back with the same gentleness you were. It felt bittersweet. Nothing could be bad about kissing you, but the knowledge she might never get to kiss you again? That was painful.

“ I’m really gonna miss you “ you whispered once you pulled away, short breaths hitting Tess’ lips.

“ yeah sweetheart. I’ll miss you too “

Tess hadn’t anticipated the heavy feeling in chest on the last night with you in her apartment. Unable to sleep and simply staring up at the ceiling as you lay curled up beside her.

She reminisced on the weeks you’d spent with her. How much you’d managed to wiggle into her heart and make her feel things she thought she’d forgotten.

She felt stupid. But it was okay. You would be gone that time tomorrow, she would drink. She would forget. She would carry on. She would go back to normal. She tried to ignore the small voice in the back of her head telling her that wasn’t what she wanted now. But she had no choice.

She startled as your hand moved, sliding over her arm with a soft sigh

“ cant sleep either? “ she looked down to see your eyes wide awake and watching her. She’d miss the way you looked at her. Admired her. Never afraid.

“ no “ she turned onto her side, reaching out to tuck your hair away from your face “ it’s gonna be weird when you’re gone “ she confessed in a whisper, almost hoping it was too quiet for you to hear. It wasn’t of course.

“ yeah. I got used to looking at your grumpy face everyday “ she huffed a small laugh and rolled her eyes “ maybe I can write or something when I find a new QZ. Send radio messages. I don’t know. Something “

“ yeah. Maybe “ that would only hurt you both more she was certain of it. But she wouldn’t tell you that now. She’d let you hope and think of something good that the future may hold “ do you wanna try get some more sleep? “

“ No I can’t “ you said with a shake of your head and shuffled a little closer to her “ I can think of something to pass the time time though “ Tess smiled and slipped her hand around to the back of your neck

“ funny. So can I “ she pulled you towards her, capturing your lips with hers and pulling a soft sigh from you as she did. She regretted not kissing you more. Regretted not giving in to her thoughts whilst she’d had you, some half ditched attempt to protect herself. As if it still wouldn’t hurt.

You kissed different than anyone else she’d been with. Which sounded cheesy and she felt stupid for thinking it. But it was true. Girls that were being overly dramatic to try and get paid more or girls that were just like her. Lonely and looking for some form of human contact.

But you were… invested. Kissing her like you actually meant it. Tender and careful, soft moans into her mouth that were slowly working her up.

“ I thought of. Of something else. That. We could do. More than…kissing “ you whispered in between soft kisses “ if you want “ she didn’t need to second guess or even give it a single second of thought. You were leaving tomorrow whether she or you liked it or not. So what did she have to lose now? Nothing.

And who was she to deny herself of such pleasure in world full of a whole lot of pain. Especially now. Especially with you.

She pushed at you, placing her body on top of yours and caging your head between her arms, not giving you a second to even attempt to take control from her. Not that she thought she would really. Not when you had been so willing to do as exactly as you’d been told the entirety of your stay with her.

She felt ever so slightly out of practice. It wasn’t a lack of experience, Jesus if anything she had too much experience. Which she wasn’t entirely proud of but who the fuck cared? The world was ending. Had ended. She’d take any small ounce of pleasure she could seek out. You didn’t seem like the type for that. She couldn’t picture you slinking around in the less desirable areas picking up girls just because she wanted something- or rather someone- to do.

No. You seemed too… pure. For that. Tess wasn’t pure. Not at all. But she could pretend. She could pretend if that’s what you wanted. Though she wasn’t entirely sure it was. Not with the way your hands were grabbing at her, hands restless as they slipped under the hem of her shirt to touch her skin.

She kissed you until she had no choice but to pull away to breathe, immediately moving to your neck instead. Your skin was like a blank canvas and she was going to take great joy in marking it.

“ Tess “ you practically whimpered her name, pushing at her tshirt in some silent request to get it off. But she’d be damned if she was gonna let you get her naked first. Her fingers worked at the button up you’d gone to bed in, still working at your neck as she did. She hadn’t really liked the shirt on herself, so had happily let you take it when you’d picked it out. But on you? She almost didn’t want to take it off you completely. There was something about the thought of fucking you in her clothes…

She had to sit up to admire the view, reluctantly detaching her lips from your soft skin.

“ fuck “ she couldn’t help it, it left her mouth without her consent. The sight of you was enough to ruin her for life. Her shirt open and revealing your heaving chest, the blush creeping across your cheeks and the blossoming marks on your neck… oh she was fucked.

She reached out, grabbing at your tits and sighing heavily at how heavenly your body was. You’re back arching into her touch as she moulded the squishy flesh beneath her fingers, dropping her head down again to get her mouth on you too.

She was like a greyhound chasing a rabbit. Tunnel vision and a singular end goal, you the only thing in her sight. In her mind. Desperate to touch and taste and fill her senses with nothing other than you.

“ oh god “ you whined as she flattened her tongue, licking across your nipple and testing your reaction. She knew you’d be whiny. Knew you’d be someone she could work into a whimpering mess with ease.

She had a knack for knowing these things.

“ you’re fuckin beautiful “ she said as she rolled a nipple between her fingers, peppering kisses across your chest as she did “ so fuckin beautiful “ she was stupid to think she’d be able to forget you with a bottle of whiskey. How on earth would she ever get the image of you underneath her out of her mind.

You squirmed around beneath her, small sighs and whimpers escaping past your lips when she grazed her teeth against your skin. Your fingers lacing into her hair and scratching your blunt nails against her scalp.

She didn’t let herself get side tracked for too long, she had an end goal to reach that resulted in her head happily between your thighs. And with the sounds you were already making and the way you were squirming around, she got the picture you were more than ready for that.

She moved back up to be level with your face, kissing you again and letting her hands wander. Mapping out your body with her fingers so she could commit the thought to memory.

“ please Tess. I need you. God I need you just- please “ you whimpered into her mouth, raising your hips up against her in desperation. If you had been anyone else she’d have denied you. Made you beg and edged you until she was bored “ I waited weeks don’t make me wait any longer “

But she couldn’t do that to you. How could she possibly deny you of anything you wanted from her? When you were underneath her looking like that, making sounds like that.

“ weeks huh? “

“ yes “ that made her feel pretty fucking smug. But also made her feel slightly less stupid for… whatever it was she was feeling for you.

So she didn’t waste any time. Moving down your body after another kiss to your swollen lips.

She pulled your underwear down your legs soothing her hands over your thighs before pushing them apart. Making a point to leave the shirt on. Part of her felt like she shouldn’t be rushing. But she was desperate to taste you.

The noise that left your mouth when she parted you with her tongue was heavenly, she felt addicted in an instant. She wanted to hear it again. Over and over. She never wanted to hear a single other sound for the rest of her life. It paired with the look on your face had a small shuddering breath passing her own lips, in complete and utter awe of you.

She had wanted to draw it out, to have you writhing and whimpering and wreck you for anyone else. But the sounds you were making and the blissful look in your eyes… she was desperate to make you come. Desperate to see what you’d look like, what sounds that would draw out of you. Maybe it was a little selfish, but she didn’t care.

Your taste flooded her tongue and she was like a starving woman eating for the first time in days. She was feral.

Her arms looped around your thighs to keep you in place and she went to town. She wanted to feel you coming on her tongue, wanted to see the exact look on your face, know the taste.

She felt like she could stay there for hours. Days. Weeks. Trapped between the pillowy flesh of your thighs, senses flooded with you. Your taste on her tongue, your moans in her ears, soft skin beneath her fingers.

Your fingers pulled at her hair, whining her name in a way that made a smug smile creep its way onto her face.

“ you know it’s… it’s been a while so- “ you attempted to form a sentence, gasping and arching your back in between your words “ I don’t think I’ll last- fuck Tess “ that was practically music to her ears. And a lively boost to the ego that she had you on edge already.

“ that’s okay sweetheart, you wanna come for me? Yeah? “ you eyes were screwed shut and you nodded quickly, pushing her face closer to your cunt again which made her smile “ I got you”

It was only another minute or so until you were pulling almost painfully at her hair, holding on for dear life as you came on her tongue. You were stronger than she’d expected, managing to trap her head with your thighs even with her holding them, keeping her in place until your body went slack and she she came up gasping for air. With the biggest fucking smug grin on her face.

She looked up at you from her spot between your legs, admiring the blissful look on your face, the droplets of sweat along your sternum, her shirt still hanging open on you.

She made her way back up to your lips with a trail of kisses. Wet, soft, open mouthed kisses that made goosebumps rise on your skin.

“ you good? “ she asked, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips

“ good doesn’t even cut it “ she laughed as you beamed a smile, open your eyes to look up at her “ I wanted you to do that after the market “

“ I know you did “ she’d wanted to do it too. But she’d stopped herself like the idiot she clearly was. She moved to lay beside you, still watching you closely. She wanted to remember every detail of you. No matter how painful it would be. She wanted to remember.

“ you know what else I wanna do? “ you said, shuffling closer and trailing your hand along her waist and across the front of her. She grabbed at your hand before you could move it any closer, effectively stopping you in your tracks

“ please let me “ you whispered, eyes wide and glassy looking up at her like she was the last woman on earth. She wasn’t used to being looked at like that. Even with you. Even with you who had never looked at her with anything but some seemingly deep rooted adoration and affection. Never fear.

“ you don’t have to “ it was rare she let anyone reciprocate. She didn’t like the way it made her feel so… exposed. Vulnerable. Like some baby animal being lured into a lions den ready to be mauled to death.

You reached up with your other hand, gently brushing her dark hair away from her face and behind her ear. She didn’t entirely know how to react. She didn’t now what to do with such tenderness. It made her brain flash with an error code like some janky 90s PC. Her mind coming up blank when confronted with such care and compassion.

“ I know I don’t have to. But I want to. Please “ she was used to people wanting to please her. She could have any fucker running doing whatever she asked if she dangled a bag of pills in front of them, like donkeys working for carrots. But someone wanting to please her like that? To give simply because they felt like that, to not expect a single thing in return.

She didn’t know how to respond. Simply looked at you in silence. You seemed to see the cogs coming to a grinding halt in her head, eyes flickering over her face.

“ you’ll let me Tess? “ she still didn’t really now what to say. And it was starting to piss her off. She always knew what to say. She always knew what to do. But not with you.

You pushed lightly at her shoulder, urging her to lay on her back. And to her own surprise she found herself doing it, head falling against the pillow and your face re appearing above hers. That alone felt a little wrong. She never let anyone on top. Ever. Never sacrificed that power to anyone.

“ after all you’ve done for me “ you whispered against her lips, nudging your nose to hers “ you deserve something in return. Let me make you feel as good as you made me feel “ she could feel small tendrils of panic starting to wind their way up into her chest, twisting around her ribs and tightening. So she took back some control, hand slipping to the back of your neck and pulling you down to kiss her as hard as she could manage.

She knew you weren’t about to do anything bad. But it was simply the act of letting someone have her so vulnerable to them. It terrified her.

“ trust me “ you whispered in between kisses “ you trust me don’t you? “

“ yeah “ she surprised herself with how quickly she said it, how unbelievably certain she was of the fact. That she did trust you. In the weeks since you’d woken up she’d grown to trust you as much as she’d trust Joel. Maybe she was stupid for that.

She took a sharp intake of breath as your hand pushed past her underwear, fingers dipping into the wetness between her folds and softly circling her clit.

“ see, you’re wet. Pretty proud of myself for that “ you were trying to lighten the mood and it helped a little. A small smile trying to creep its way onto her face.

She was used to her own fingers and only her fingers. But yours were something else. Those soft gentle hands that she had felt looked so out of place in an apocalypse, felt like velvet. You watched her face intently and she almost felt embarrassed, it was odd for her. To be so exposed and so closely observed.

You slipped your fingers inside of her with ease, her eyes falling closed as she attempted to steady her breathing from the intrusion. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let someone do that, she’d forgotten how it felt. It was nothing like how it felt to do it herself.

You were reaching places she never could, breathy sounds escaping her even when she tried to stop them.

“ I wish you could see what you looked like right now “ your voice was almost awe filled, like you were simply amazed the sight of her. Maybe you were

“ shut up “ she said, breathless, pulling you down to kiss her again in some attempt to change the subject. Not wanting the attention on herself, sinking her teeth into your bottom lip to make you whimper into her mouth again.

She figured she’d be done just as fast as you had been, especially when you seemed to know exactly where to touch. You hit some place devastating, the tight knot in her belly growing and growing

“ fuck. Stay right fuckin there “ she gasped, fingers gripping your wrist as you did as she’d asked. Focussing on the same spot over and over again. She kept her eyes on you. Kneeling over her, in her shirt, the sight alone was enough to finish her off.

She pulled you down to her mouth again, scared she’d do something embarrassing like make noise, kissing you as she came on your fingers. Holding you firmly in place as her walls convulsed around you and her body rushed with heat, every muscle tensing before going limp and leaving her feeling like a rag doll.

She was breathless as she let you go, her skin on fire and prickling with heat.

“ well fuck me “ she mumbled. Throwing an arm over her eyes for a moment and to her surprise, laughing. You giggled beside her laying down and slinging a leg over hers, both your skins slippery with sweat. But she didn’t care.

“ I just did didn’t I? “ you said in the most innocent tone, simply making her laugh again. You both settled into a comfortable silence then, lazily kissing until you dropped your head.

As you both lay there, your head resting on her chest and hand over her heart, she almost wanted to cry. Which was fucking stupid. She didn’t cry. That wasn’t her.

“ you know you’re still gonna have to leave “ she whispered “ it’s not safe for you to stay here “ she felt your breathing stutter slightly and she knew you were crying. But she didn’t mention it. Didn’t want to embarrass you or risk making herself cry too by acknowledging it “ you know you still have to go “You gave a small nod. You knew. You knew this was always going to be the outcome, both of you did.

“ yeah. I know “ she was silent for a few minutes before gently pushing at your body, urging you to turn on your side. She pressed herself against your back, her arms sliding gently over your waist and her nose nudging lightly at the back of your neck.

“ couple more hours “ she whispered against your skin “ couple more hours. Then I’ll take you to the wall… couple more “ you rested your hand over hers and nodded again, tears welling in her eyes as you did. She refused to let them fall. She wasn’t that pathetic.

“ couple more hours “ you echoed softly, voice barely above a whisper in some attempt to hide the evident crack in your tone as you seemingly failed at keeping the tears in “ just a couple more “

[obsidiannebula]

but when I put my work out there no one gives a shit. even the AI gets more of a reaction out of others, even if its purely negative. admit it, people only started to pretend to care about smaller artists and writers to stick it to the AI techbros

You're experiencing something that every creative on the planet has been struggling with since forever: the crushing disappointment of "I worked really hard on this but nobody even seems to notice it."

We've all been there. It sucks. We tend to feel a need for recognition and validation when we do or make something. Just about every artist or writer on here has experienced that disappointment, and wondered in despair if it's even worth continuing to make and post the things they make. After all, why put in all that effort to make something and share it, when nobody seems to care? Why keep investing so much into something you love, only to share it and find that no one else appreciates it like you do?

Well, if you've been in creative circles for a while, you've actually probably seen some answers to this question. See, we HAVE cared about our fellow small creators since long before """AI""" was really a concern. For years we've been making and sharing posts to help and uplift each other. We've told each other, don't create with the hope of getting fame and adulation, or you'll almost certainly be disappointed. We've told each other, create for your friends, for the 3 people who are as deeply invested in your rarepair or niche fandom as you are, create for yourself, create for the joy of creation. We've spread posts reminding people that a like is nice, but if you really enjoy someone's art, it helps the creator much more to reblog it, because it increases the work's visibility and reach. We have encouraged people to commission artists- and we have actually done so! See my little icon in the corner there? I commissioned that from a friend, who is a small artist themself. (@oriathura here and on the website formerly known as Twitter, in case anyone would like to commission them!)

The creative community has been supporting each other for a long time, whether you were aware of it or not. I've been on Tumblr since 2017, and have been following artists and writers that whole time, and began posting my own art and writing soon after joining. I have seen thousands of posts of the sort I described, trying to help motivate, reassure and uplift other creators. I have seen friends and mutuals get discouraged by the lack of response to their art, and wonder if they should give up. I have seen them carry on anyway, and I have seen them grow and develop as artists. I have posted my own work and gotten silence in response, and I have persisted anyway and continued to improve my craft and make work that I am proud of, regardless of how many people saw it or validated me through praise.

Because I wanted something to exist, and I made it exist, and I deserve to be proud of that. No matter how many people saw it or liked it.

You didn't ask for advice, but I'm going to offer some, and you and any other creatives reading this can take it or leave it, as you like:

*Find community. Follow some creative people, maybe acquire some creative mutuals. Join a Discord server for artists and/or writers. Get involved with a small group of fellow creators and hype each other up!

*Learn how to tag your posts. Don't spam a bunch of unrelated tags, of course, but learn how to add plenty of relevant ones. Lots of people follow tags for characters, fandoms, and even the "my writing" and "fiction" tags- I know I do. That will put your post on the dash of some people who are following those tags. The more people who see it, the more likely it is to reach the people who will enjoy it- because no matter the subject or even quality of the work, there IS an audience for it. Following and posting in these tags may even help you find community!

*Make something with no intention of ever sharing it. If you love to create but find yourself discouraged and frustrated by a lack of positive response when you share your work, make something just for yourself and keep it to yourself. Learn to appreciate creation for creation's sake, for the joy you can bring yourself. If you're feeling really bold, make something and then destroy it. Rip it up, burn it, hit delete. Art is valuable even when it is fleeting.

*Create for an event. One of the best things that ever happened to my writing was participating in TAZ Pride Week 2018. I wrote a new fic every day for 8 days, pushing the limits of my creativity and writing skill. I tagged each work with the event tag, allowing others to find it and the organizer to reblog it to the event blog, which lots of people were following. Many people saw and enjoyed my work as a result. I saw the work of numerous others and was inspired. I even gained my first artsy mutual (aside from my irl friends) because of this event, so this can also help you with building community! People organize art and writing events all the time, especially for fandoms. Seek these out and see how you can get involved!

Sometimes, creating can feel like thankless work. But that doesn't mean it has no value. If it meant something to you, it was important. And it may become important to someone else one day. Some of my works that flopped hardest on publication are the ones that still get the occasional note or AO3 comment here and there months and years later, because they appealed to very few people, but those few people are very excited on the rare occasion they find something that scratches the particular itch they have!

When I was in 7th grade, we read Summer of My German Soldier. I don't know that I'd recommend the book to anyone else; in truth I don't remember much from it, aside from the main character getting a bad perm. But one quote from that book has stuck with me my whole life. It led to me the understanding of creation as a powerful, almost sacred act, regardless of how many people view it. For "there is more nobility in building a chicken coop than in destroying a cathedral."

[maydays-medbay]

Uh I am very bored so have an ask game! I have been brewing on a lot of ideas for my characters and boy howdy do I have a lot that I could ramble on about haha. Anyway here are some transformers - specific asks that I thought of (might not be totally original but I'm just using what I can think of off of the top of my head lol) Not every ask is 100% Transformers-based, but it is meant for people with Transformers OCs in particular and might not make total sense for a non-transformers oc. When sending in an ask to someone's ask box, please specify the OC(s) that you're referring to! Also, when you reblog, it would be very appreciated if you could send an ask in to the person you reblogged from! You don't have to, but it is highly encouraged! 1. How much has their design changed since you first created them? 💡 2. How much has their story changed since they were first created? ⚙ 3. Where are they from? Cybertron, a colony world, or somewhere else? 🪐 4. What faction, if any, are they a part of? 🌓 5. Do/Did they have an occupation? If so, how do they feel about it? ✏ 6. What are their specializations, if they have one? 🏆 7. What is their alt mode? Do they have multiple, or no alt modes? 🎲 8. Do they have a human version / holoform? 👤 9. Have you ever created a dragonformers design for them? 🐉 10. Do they have an outlier ability? If so, can you describe it? 🔥 11. Are there any characters tied to their story that you haven't talked about yet? 🤔 12. How were they like when they were younger? 🧒 13. Have you ever drawn them as a sparkling? If so, what do they look like? 🍼 14. Do they have any specific triggers? ⚠ 15. What is their personality like? 🫧 16. What are their hobbies/interests? 🖌 17. If they were in a specific class/caste on Cybertron, their colony world, etc, which one were they in? 🥼 18. Are they a specific frametype that someone else or you've created? 🤖 19. Is there anything that they deeply regret? ❤‍🩹 20. Do/did they enjoy the war, or aspects of it? 💥 21. In their "Present Day" on the timeline, what are they up to? Are they a part of a band, an explorer, or a crewmate on a ship etc.? 💼 22. Do they have any siblings/relatives? 👪 23. Who is their closest friend, if they have one? 🤝 24. Do they/did they have a Conjunx Endura? What are they up to in the "Present Day"? 💕 25. Do they have any specific health issues or physical impairments? What are the effects of those, if they have them? 🩼 26. Do they have any scars? 🩹 27. Do they have a Shattered Glass design? If so, what are the differences between their normal self and their Shattered Glass self? 🪞 28. Wildcard! Ask anything within reason not mentioned above! 🍓

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

I posted 1,008 times in 2022

That's 146 more posts than 2021!

8 posts created (1%)

1,000 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@scourge728

@firedrakewicked

@silly-bean

@rabbitsareheckincute

@ice-block

I tagged 242 of my posts in 2022

#invader zim - 10 posts

#yes - 7 posts

#gnu terry pratchett - 6 posts

#food - 5 posts

#batman - 4 posts

#invader zim oc - 4 posts

#please - 4 posts

#batfam - 3 posts

#look - 3 posts

#hell yes - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#look my boy is pining and i imagine kii might have had some kind of a crush but didnt realize it cause of the preassure on her

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Back on the Batclan AU cause I'm in the mood

The trip to the lake is still harsh even with the bats

But less cats die, and Tallstar survives cause Stephanie begged Jason to make sure he ate goddammit that's her favorite!

Mistyfoot takes over as Mistystar during this time and Alfred is happy to congratulate her she is grateful but confused by how he approaches her

Alfred is an enigma to the clans and no one can figure him out

Anyways to the lake

Once settled Jason, Leafpool and Crowfeather meet up to discuss the 3

Leafpool admits starclan has been harassing her about them which makes Crowfeather furious and Jason seethes

So they take a moment to cool off and discuss their options

Crowfeather has been working with Tallstae to find a better deputy than Onewhisker and they found a good candidate in Nightcloud

Crow then admits he doesn't want to be away from leafpool and would be willing to move where ever she goes

Jason encourages them to stay together

"It's obvious you deeply care about each other. Just because one cat couldn't juggle their duties as a Medicine cat and being a parent doesn't mean you cant!"

Leafpool admits she wants to be with crow but doesn't want to leave Thunderclan

They agree to approach Firestar first and tell him the situation then tell the clan as a whole

They ask Jason to go with them, hoping another medicine cat voicing his opinions will help, and Jason agrees but insists Redtip (Tim) comes to

He says they'll see why very quickly

They gather Tim and go to Firestar who is disappointed in his daughter

He agrees to let Crowfesther join if he can prove his loyalty which crow readily agrees to. He wants to be present in his mate and Kit's life and he already spoke to Tallstar who told him to follow his love

But Firestar tries to tell the clan himself and Tim blocks him, then this happens

The clan had gathered for some announcement but stopped as a ragged yowl left the leader's den.

"Don't be dumb! That's the last thing you want!" The voice of Redtip careened out into the camp making all eyes turn up. Redtip was blocking Firestar from leaving.

"Redtip I appreciate what you think-" firestar started only to be cut off.

"Don't tell me what I'm thinking! You don't know what's in my head! In your daughters mind! You do this and you'll only hurt everyone in your clan! Honesty is needed yes by why punish someone for loving?" The clan could only guess what was happening as suddenly voices went quiet. A few minutes later Firestar stepped out, followed closely by Redtip, Leafpool, Crowfeather and Doveslash. Firestar looked concerned but firm and Redtip was glaring at the gathered cats, almost asking them to misbehave.

"Cats of Thunderclan. I called you discuss a matter of the Warrior code. A matter that maybe, should have been talked about before. But first I wish to welcome Crowfeather to Thunderclan." Whispers filled the camp and Suddenly Doveslash was turning a look upon the warriors.

None dared speak their minds with the massive Tom staring them down. He may be a Medicine cat, but they had all seen him fight off a fox by himself on the journey. They knew he was capable.

"I will not speak for Crowfeather. His joining was his own decision, however onto the pressing matter. The Warrior code states that no Medicine cat may take a mate or have kits." The clan could sense where this was going. And the tension became tangible. "But this may not be the wisest rule. Who are we to say who can and cannot have kits or mates?"

"And what's to stop a Medicine cat from showing favoritism? Thats why we have the rule!" Ashfur spat. "You want to change it cause your own kit broke the rule! Don't ya?"

"Oh shut up! You decide to try and murder starclan because one Molly broke up with you!" Redtip suddenly spat and the clan froze. What? "Yeah. In the future. Doveslash knows these things. He always has! He'll the rest of Batclan does too! Doveslash just sees it clearer than the rest of us! You get turned down by Squirrelflight and decide to try and Murder her kits and after you die, you try to possess her future mate! Now shut up and sit down Ashfur."

The clan when cold and eyes turned to ashfur then to Redtip and Doveslash. Doveslash nodded.

See the full post

5 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#4

Been working on this Fic since before the holidays! Invader Zim Ocs the lot of them.

Kiz and Kii belong to @messinwitheddie

Ophelia and Thred belong to @sketchydesertghost

Food For Thought

The Smeeterys of Irk churned away below the surface of the planet and the Mother Control Brain, Tallest Kii, turned an idea over in her mind. 

It was a rare day. The smog had been brushed aside by some combination of Wind and luck and the Night sky was clear above the land. It would remain so for a long time, according to her calculations. The Smeets and Smeetery workers did not know. But Kii saw and remembered a specific day, if only vaguely. A part of her, still clinging to the long gone past, wondered if she should let them see such a rare sight… like She had when Ophelia and Delta were around.

Thousands of years ago, In Hive Cadaver:

Fifi dodged the bustling drones with ease as she picked her way to Imperial Frylord Glip's special Kitchen. Her Brother was deeper in the Hive checking on a few loose ends for the upcoming ceremony and celebration. For when the Sun finally set, and the Irken Day truly began, the Hive would be hosting their 2 Allies in a celebration of their alliance. It was a Huge deal to Hive Cadaver, who often sat alone in the midst of any conflict.

Delta wanted to show as much Hospitality as possible. His infatuation, turned full on Love, for Kii drove him forward but Fifi also knew he greatly appreciated Tallest Ophelia as well. He wanted to Impress and give his 2 allies, his two Friends, a good time. A light flashed through Fifi's eyes, her scowl lightening slightly. 

She knew and feared when Delta was Measured, that he would be alone at the top. He was a social Irken by nature, and craved Equal footing with those around him. His position as a Priest Helped some, getting him closer to the Council of Priests, but they still only saw him as Tallest, not Delta. Fifi tried to provide company, but she knew she couldn't fill the space by herself. 

So when Kii first came into the picture Fifi knew Delta was craving that equal regard. And she Feared Kii would never give it to him, let alone acknowledge any of his strong suits. But Kii proved her wrong, and she thanked The Weaver everyday for that. Kii, while Harsh like Fifi, did not see Delta as below her. She didnt Worship him either thank Irk. She was sharp and serious and above all Caring, even if she buried it under all those quips. 

Then Ophelia joined the cause. Though cryptic at times, as an Oracle was want to be, she was open and kind like Fifi's brother. Delta had found his Swarm, as the older Priests and officers said, happily over Cyder after shift. And Fifi was Glad for it. So of course she would Guarantee this Celebration went off without a hitch.

She would triple check every aspect of the Alliance ceremony herself. Roles Be DAMNED, her brother was going to enjoy himself. Her Friend Kii would get a chance to relax and so would Kiz. 

And if Thred showed up Fifi wouldn't complain. The two drones had met briefly after Alliance negotiations with Ophelia a few weeks back. Thred had not been phased by Fifi's harsh and scowling moods, had even Called her a Blessing from the Weaver when they met! Fifi wondered if her Brother felt like this when Kii payed him compliments. Light and floating…

"Priestess! What bring ya round these parts?" Imperial Frylord Glip boomed as Fifi entered her kitchen. The Sharp Spicy smell of the Yulinip fruit fermented in a special cider mix filled the room as the Massive Round Frylord spooned large globs of Deadman's paste into a large bowl. 

Glip was a Fat and tall lady, though she preferred the title Frylord. She had the softest and kindest smile with a slow drawl in her voice. She was always warm and comforting. Fifi did not mind being around her. 

Glip was a rare beauty even in their Hive. Jet black skin shone with iridescent colors like rainbows on spilt oil. Sparkling gold Chitin covered her body like Stars. Well fed, strong, and most of all, warm, Lady Glip had many suitors in Hive Cadaver. But she was only interested in her cooking and fermentation. Fifi respected that, Glip knew who she was, and loved herself fully.

It was funny, Fifi thought, Glip had gotten her Position shortly before Delta hit his growth spurt. Glip had been a young Frylord in the kitchens when Late Tallest Fiddle had found her experimenting with a better fermentation liquid for the all Important Deadman's Paste. The Paste was incredibly spicy but needed a massive punch of flavor. Fifi remembered the one time she and Delta tried the Hot Pot Deadman's Paste was used for as Smeets. It had been Hot sure. Very hot, but that was It. No flavor, just heat. Tallest Fiddle had been severely disappointed. 

Then Glip had gotten it into her head to Fix it without the former Imperial Frylord finding out. She stole the ingredients and the guarded Recipe for the paste and worked and worked for Years. Until Fiddle found her and tried the experimental paste. Fiddle had fired the old Imperial Frylord then and there and Promoted the Young Glip for her care and obsession with true flavor. Ever since no one complained about any food that came from the Mess halls. Glip insisted on strict quality control, but also welcomed changes and improvements so long as they passed Quality testing. 

Fifi, no All of the Hive knew there was no Frylord better. 

"I am simply making my usual rounds Frylord." Fifi said and Glip smiled widely. 

"Well Ma'am ah know ya don't enjoy as much heat as yer brother but Ah got some new pies ya might like. The new Apprentice down in the fifth Crypt Mess had been experimenting and found a great new fillin!" Glip bragged about the apprentices a lot. They were her legacy, she said. And Fifi believed it. 

"I would not begrudge a taste. You and the apprentices only allow the finest into the hands of the Hive." Fifi said plainly. Glip laughed and blushed a bright Violet. 

"Aw Shucks Fifi, that's Mighty Kind of ya! We just want good food for yall, nothing more!" Glip said, grabbing a small Steaming pie from the counter. It was made of Hot Nitro Crust pastry, giving it a silvery sheen and a short texture. It was in the shape of a pair of wings, a symbol of good fortune in Hive Cadaver, and smelled of tangy, and sharp veggies. Fifi could pick out the faintest whiff of Gurlic Meal, a rare delicacy in the Hive made from dried and ground Gurlic worms. 

Fifi Idly wondered if Delta had harvested his colony of Gurlics too soon in an attempt to impress. But Glip seemed to know the answer.

"Ah had saved some Gurlic meal from tha Last batch Tallest Delta had made. When the apprentice came asking about it ah gave him a little to experiment with. It adds a great flavor profile to tha mellow Siggurain Root Pulp and tha Black Heel Fungus. Should be Nutty and tangy with ah fresh aftertaste of Citrus!" Glip explained as Fifi tasted.

It was exactly as Glip said. A smooth puree of Siggurain root gave the entire pie a silky texture and a nice clear citrus aftertaste on top of its mellow flavor, with chewy Rich Black Heel fungus adding Tang to the entire pie. The Gurlic Meal shot through with a crumbly texture in the crust and the nutty flavor the Hive adored.

See the full post

9 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

#3

More of the usual Batfam has!

I said I'd come back to Jason and Pigeons/doves yeah?

Well he keeps them, he has a coop on top of his apartment building that he built.

He takes very good care of his flock and even Damien can't find fault in his care for them

They are all named after his favorite book characters

They are really smart birds and know who Jason is in and out of costume! Once Jason was held by Joker who was bragging about killing him again

Only to be SWARMED by flock of angry Pigeons and Doves

Joker fears the birds now

Jason gave them so many treats for that

BRUCE gave the birds treats for that!

More Meatloaf? More Meatloaf

So Meatloaf, Tim's Sphinx, absolutely has Opinions on his dates

She likes Brenard well enough, he supplies treats but doesn't really stop Tim from pulling all nighters

Then again Meatloaf is the only one besides Alfred who can reliably make Tim go to bed at any point

Meatloaf ended up following Tim on patrol once

Red Robin was facing Scarecrow when this sweater wearing bald cat showed up screeching in a mechanical voice "SLEEP NOW!" Repeatedly

It freaked Crane out a bit but didn't stop him from trying to fight Tim

Only for said cat to latch onto his face and start viciously clawing his face while chanting Sleep Now

Crane got a new fear that night

And Tom had a heart attack and took Meatloaf home imediatly

Sadly it didn't STOP HER FROM FOLLOWING HIM BACK OUT

She kept doing this till he went back to the manor and went to bed

Alfred has asked Meatloaf to do that to Bruce but they know it won't work

So instead they have Meatloaf translate for Ace to convince Bruce to take a God damned break!

Look Meatloaf knows which pets will convince which Bat to rest

Some don't need convincing, Steph, Duke and Barabra will gladly take breaks when they need to

Others are more stubborn

So Meatloaf started a sorta vigilante group of her own

It's made of herself, Jason's flock of birds, Ace, King Murder (Damian's puppy), Haley (Dick's Dog), Bat cow and a few of the bats that live in the batcave

They team up to ensure their bullhead humans rest and don't die of exauhstion

See the full post

9 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#2

I'm sick with a stomach bug so while I'm laying in bed Batfam headcannons

If anyone in the mansion gets sick Alfred makes them take a break until they are at 100 percent again

Yes even you Master Bruce

You can't bribe Alfred he will make you stay home

Everyone has their own sick meals that the others make for them those who aren't sick usually run to get supplies while Alfred cares for the sick ones

Jason does help make the soups occasionally if he isn't sick

But more often than not Jason and or Dick and Damien are on Guard duty to ensure the patient doesn't try to go on patrol.

As for everyone's go to sick foods

Bruce always wants the classic chicken noodle soup if his stomach can handle it. It's an old Wayne recipe and one of the many he has memorized and has made for his own kids. Alfred always makes it for him when Bruce is sick.

Said chicken noodles soup is made from a bone broth, The household has a habit of keeping the bones from meals to make broths and chicken is no different. The bones are stewed with meat, fat and cartilage still clinging to it for several hours at a low simmer. Adding in celery salt, garlic, onion powder, oregano and a dash of ground ginger the broth itself is super comforting. Alfred adds back in any leftover chicken from the carcass or a previous dinner and adds lightly sautéed onion. Carrot and celery. Finally adding in to the serving bowl a healthy mound of egg noodles and the soup is ready

Dick wants goulash if he can handle it, the recipe was one his father used to make for him when he was sick as a little kid. Slow simmered beef chunks in a tomato based broth with soft flavorful onion and garlic and served over a Maize porridge.

Alfred spent years when dick first arrived piecing the recipe back together from Dick's vague memories of helping his father make it. When the recipe was completed it was spot on to how Dick remembered it.

Jason wants toast with peanut butter that's it. He is prone to stomach bugs and does not want anything too heavy. On occasion when he is sick but can eat more he wants The Wayne's chicken noodles soup.

Barbara likes Rice when sick. Too many flavors never helps her feel better so the plainer the better. She may add a tiny bit of butter but not much else

Tim wants tomatos. That's it. This boy only wants tomatoes when sick but can't exactly get away with only tomatoes so he usually has a tomato soup. He is banned from caffeine when sick and it usually only makes ot worse (briefly) before the headache passes.

Stephanie wants Irish Potato soup and toast when sick. Fatty ham fried until slightly brown and them drowned in a light chicken broth with potatoes. It always makes her feel better. It's salty too, so she knows she is staying hydrated with how much water she downs when eating it.

Cass didn't get sick days growing up and is still unsure what she would prefer. Usually Bruce makes her the Wayne family Chicken noodle soup, but she usually doesn't want to eat when sick.

I Honestly don't know what Duke would ask for when sick. But it would be warm and feel like a Hug. I still don't know much about Duke and I will circle back to him as I get a better feel for him I promise!

Damien wants either lentil soup or Congee. His Grandmother was Arabic and Chinese, and Talia would give him either Congee when he needed something bland, or Lentil soup if he needed nutrition. (Good Mom Talia only in this house) the first time Damian got sick at the manor Bruce contacted Talia and asked for the recipes. She came over and taught him and The other Bats (mainly Jason and Stephanie since they can actually follow a recipe) how to make not just those dishes, but several others Damien loves.

When Bruce ended up sick later that month Damien insisted Alfred taught him how to make the Wayne Chicken noodle soup, but added a few tweaks (cardamom and Colocasia aka Egyptian Taro) Bruce loved it and the recipe was added to the Wayne family recipe collection

Now when Alfred is sick, The Batfam all stay in, calling in friends and allies to cover their patrols. Alfred takes care of them they take care of him. He prefers simple chicken broth if he is truly bad or Eggs and soldiers if he is feeling OK.

Note, when Alfred is sick the Nats split up his duties based on who can do what without giving the man a heart attack. This means

Jason, Stephanie, Duke and Damien have the kitchen. They cook for everyone but especially Alfred

Dick, and Cass clean any mess that happens.

Bruce, Tim and Barbara do paperwork duties and errands

If the Bats absolutely have to go out on Patrol they fight over who stays behind to care for Alfred. One from each of the sections remains behind. More often than not it ends up being Jason in the Kitchen, Dick cleaning, and Barabra doing errands ect.

If all of the Bats are sick (Alfred included), Diana and Clark usually drop by to make sure both the Bats don't set themselves on fire/try to work, and that Gotham stays protected.

The day Wonder Woman showed up and kicked Joker's teeth in was documented by many a confused hostage and one Overjoyed and very Flustered Harley Quinn.

When the press asked why Wonder Woman was in Gotham she said the Bats needed a sick day and it was duly noted by all of the rogue Gallery.

See the full post

19 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I'm gonna write a bit on my Invader Zim OCs today, specifically the 5 Star Alliance! Its an alliamce of 5 Hives stationed on a large Island in the middle of the ocean. For context I headcannon that the ocean is made of either Hydrogen or Nitrogen. Irkens Hydrate by absorbing moisture through their skin, though it isnt water.

Some basic Alliance information. The 5 Star Alliamce was an Ancient Alliance made of 5 Hives. On the Coast was Hive Opal, they commonly had Natural Pak legs and could skim across the Oceans like water Skimmers. They made up the Bulk of the Alliance Navy force and supplied the other Hives with Seafood and resources found only at sea.

Beyond the coasts was a vast windswept Desert where Hive Sol sat. Hive Sol commonly had camoflauge based mutations or Bioluminece. They acted as the spies and Historical archives. Hive Sol has the largest collection of lost knowledge on Irk including a Genetics Vault. At its peak Hive Sol had information on the movements of every Hive on Irk.

Just beyond the Desert was a large tract of extremely fertile land. Hive Traktor lived here, tending to the land and keeping the Alliance fed. The Irkens of Hive Traktor also worked to ensure the other territories had some farm land available in case Hive Traktor ever fell. Their innovations and agricultural theories were advanced for their time before the Hive's collapse. They also worked and created the Alliance's massive network of trade routes across the island and the world at large.

Hive Traktor's land ends at the foot of a sheer cliff. Formerly active Volcanoes these mountains are impenetrable, unless you cross through Hive Geo. Hive Geo's entire territory is underground, this means the most common mutations in the Hive are Bioluminece, dark Vision, and Melanin heavy skin tones. Hive Geo is a Mining and Smithing Hive, they mine out valuable metals and gems from their mountain homes and share them across the Alliance. Their homes are protected by the Mountains themselves as the only way through to the Final Hive is by going through Hive Geo or their Mines.

Finally within the Ring of Mountains that make up Hive Geo is a massive tropical basin. Dense rainforest dotted with open meadows fills the space and is Home to Hive Octave. Hive Octave is composed of mostly Female Irkens, something very rare, and they have long Corkscrew antenna which allows each Hive member to hear even the slightest change in tone or Pitch. Hive Octave are the Foot soldiers of the Alliance and the Crafts men. Art is both a weapon and the highest honor in the Hive. Hive Octave citizens often travel to other Hives in the Alliance to assist with any projects from construction to Festival planning. The Frylords of the Alliance go to Hive Octave to train as well.

These 5 Hives made up the 5 Star Alliance. To ensure each Hive remained true to the Alliance many of Irk's important festivals and events were taken on as a group. All wars were fought with all 5 members adding to the army. In particular Fertility Festivals were held together.

For Fertility Festivals the Hives Tallest would separate the fertile Irkens into 2 groups. First would be those who stayed behind for a Local Fertility festival, as they were dubbed "lesser" either due to health, height, or unwanted genetic material being present. This group would have their own festival on a much smaller scale. The second group were those who were dubbed worthy and would go to the Mass Festival held with all 5 hives. Every Hive brought something specific to these events and were encouraged to have swarms with drones outside their Hives. This kept unity and diversity within the alliance.

More specific details on the Hives and their historical figures will come in another post. But the Founders will be touched on!

The legend of how the Five Star Alliance was found is less Myth and more History. While some elements were fabricated the core of the myth is truth.

The Alliamce began with The Colossus died and her empire Splintered. The founders were five taller Irkens each of whom carried the mutations common in their hives. The five of them had been friends under the Colossus' rule and tried to stick together. When the fighting began the friend gathered as many cadets, Smeets and Drones together and fled for the sea. They set sail, hoping to find a new home away from the fighting. They sailed for 5 years and began to lose hope that they would ever find land again. Then one night they saw five stars shoot across the sky and fall upon a single spot in the distant horizon. As they watched the five Taller Irken heard the Weaver speak to them as she guided them to a new home. Upon landing on the island they would call home The Weaver spoke once more. She divided the land into five parcels, giving one to each Taller Irken to rule. From there the five friends built their hives and created the Alliance.

Hive Opal was founded by Tallest Reef, he had Natural Pak legs and took to the sea with ease. Those who also took to the sea stayed within his Hive.

Hive Sol was founded by Tallest Apollo, he was iridescent and gleamed in the moonlight. He was a scholar and a nosy Tallest. Those who took to knowledge and spy work stayed within his Hive.

Hive Traktor was founded by Tallest Terra. She was slim yet strong and loved to grow and care for the flora and fauna. Those with a knack for agriculture and botany stayed within her Hive.

Hive Geo was founded by Tallest Slate, he was as Grey as the stones he mined. He had a sixth sense for mining and forging. He took to the mountains and those with a passion for mining joined his Hive.

Finally Hive Octave was founded by Tallest Octavius. He had long Corkscrew antenna and was dotted with dark spots. He was an artistic and maternal fellow who discovered how to turn art into a means of defense. Those with an artistic flair joined his Hive.

These five were the founders of the Five Star Alliance. They wrote the first set of laws the Alliance must abide by. A set of Laws that Tallest Olst, the last Tallest of Hive Traktor, would disregard, thus ending 3 out of the 5 Hives in the late first Era. But more on him later. This is the basics of the Alliance.

26 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

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[rafikisboy]

did I spend even more time drawing Nyally again today instead of working on the next chapter of Disrepair?? baby you know I did :3c

[callsignangel]

blue is the warmest colour - two

word count: 1261 warnings: mentions of death, stillborn births. a/n: again, a little bit of slow burn because i am such a sucker for forbidden relationships and angst. i hope you enjoy this part!! reblogs and feedback about my work is deeply appreciated. <3 prologue | part one

the carriage was stuffed full of people, bumpy and hot. the silence was deafening, and the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. y/n sat across from rhaenyra beside her father, staring longingly at her. she hadn’t acknowledged her since the incident with alicent in the godswood. she wanted her to glance in her direction. even so much as breathe in her direction. but her stares went unnoticed by the one she yearned for so badly. everyone else seemed to pick up on the sad look painted on y/n’s face.

trying to ease the awkwardness, viserys chimed cheerfully, “well, isn’t this splendid. the whole of our family off to celebrate and venture in the kingswood.” rhaenyra had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. she scrutinized alicent, ignoring her father’s statement. “should you be traveling in such condition?” rhaenyra mocked. it was y/n’s turn to roll her eyes. she scoffed, loud enough for rhaenyra to hear and turned her head to look away from the blonde. jealousy was an emotion that affected rhaenyra too often. she was jealous of her brother, she was jealous of daemon and his freedom, and she was jealous that y/n helped alicent in anyway she could. rhaenyra knew that y/n still had a responsibility to her queen and the kingdom, but watching her care for alicent in that way made her heart twinge. she tried to protect herself from more pain in the only way she could - ignoring y/n and pushing her away. “the maester said that being out in nature would do me good.” she responded passively, rubbing her bump. viserys smiled, turning to rhaenyra, “you will be with your own child sooner than late, and make me a proud grand sire.” rhaenyra only hummed in response. y/n had not felt the same pressure rhaenyra did about getting married and producing heirs. her brothers and sisters lead after their mother, who did not feel that starting a family was a necessity. her parents did it out of love, and they encouraged their children to do the same. if only her parents knew she liked women.

“it’s not so bad. the days are long, but aegon came quickly without fuss.” alicent tried to bring a more positive light to childbirth. y/n scoffed again and she froze. she grimaced, hoping no one heard her attitude towards the queen. all rhaenyra had seen was her mother’s struggles with pregnancy - her stillborn brothers and eventually, her death. even though rhaenyra was cold and unloving, she still gave the princess all of her loyalty.

y/n tuned out the conversation, the heat in the carriage making her feel nauseous. she was forced to put her hair back up into a fancy updo, and that immediately gave her another migraine. if she had known that all that resided in the red keep was drama, she would’ve just stayed in runestone. but then she never would have met rhaenyra, and remembered that being with her made it all worth it. when the nausea finally subsided, viserys and rhaenyra were bickering about her going on the hunt. “how would you like to participate?” “i’m not sure why i must.” “because you are my daughter… the princess. and you have duties.” rhaenyra chuckled. “as i am ceaselessly reminded,” she said, softly. “i’m sorry?” the king quipped. “as i am ceaselessly reminded,” she snapped, now louder. aegon babbled excitedly, screaming and clapping his hands, which made y/n’s headache worse. “you wouldn’t need to be reminded if you ever attended to them,” viserys snapped back.

“no one’s here for me!” she shouted, and the carriage went quiet. hasaryn looked down at his daughter, and took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. her face was red, and he could tell she was trying to control the tears that threatened to spill. she kept her head down, her nausea slowly building again. she couldn’t tell if rhaenyra was finally looking at her, nor did she care at this point.

rhaenyra could see the anguish on y/n’s face. as soon as the words slipped her mouth she regretted them. she knew they weren’t true. throughout the last couple years, y/n had been there for her. only y/n. when they finally reached the kingswood, y/n immediately made her way to the chaffton tent without really acknowledging any of the other houses on the way, or the calls from her father and the king behind her. she could hear the chanting for baby aegon, the food cooking and everyone conversing in celebration. she felt numb, and she couldn’t understand why rhaenyra’s words hurt her so much. she knew she would’ve never been able to be with her, but she hadn’t done anything wrong to lose rhaenyra’s favour. she was greeted by her house servants in the tent, and also the smell of fresh baking. all of the wine she consumed earlier that day was really all she had, so she asked one of the house ladies if she could have some freshly baked bread. it helped ease her travel-sickness, and it comforted her as she ate her feelings. fruits, cheese and other kinds of small delicacies graced a table, and she helped herself to some of them. “are you alright, my love?” her father’s voice startled her. as she was in the midst of stuffing her face with grapes, she turned to him and nodded softly. chewing and swallowing quickly, she answered him, “yes, father. i think the wine and the bumpy ride made me feel sick. i ate and feel significantly better now.” hasaryn knew his daughter was too stubborn to reveal her true feelings, but decided to try to push it anyways. “i know what rhaenyra said bothers you,” he said softly. she shook her head, staring down at her bitten nails. it did bother her. all of her devotion and help had been washed away, like a sandcastle she had built for rhaenyra. “i understand she’s been struggling,” she started, “therefore i can’t take it personally. i know she appreciates my help and my companionship.” she gave him a small smile, and he took hold of her hand and kissed it. “yes, don’t let it bother you. it’s a grand celebration, you should be out there having fun.” y/n swiped some cookies and shoved them into her hidden pocket in her breast coat before exiting the tent arm in arm with her father. 

rhaenyra was among the voices calling y/n as she scurried towards her tent. after what she had said, it was no surprise y/n has tuned her out. and as she expected, her day got progressively worse. jason lannister had tried to woo her on her wanderings out of the targaryen tent looking for y/n, which was her father’s doing. they had gotten into a fight about her prospects of marriage, which left rhaenyra embarrassed and even more upset. she marched towards a horse, pulling her gloves on and hopping on for everyone to see. ser criston cole, her personal sword shield had followed suit, calling out to her to stop and chasing her on horseback. as she sped away from the overbearing party, she could hear someone else’s voice with criston’s calling out for her. it was y/n. her beloved y/n, her sun in her time of need.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

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[perdidosbucky-yyo]

Happy Birthday Sergeant

Drabble

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky hates celebrating his birthday, that is until you forgot about it

Warnings: mention of a blowjob, lil bit of sadness, fluff but it's not that fluffy??

Wc: 1k

a/n: Today is TLOML's birthday and words cannot express just how special he is to me, Bucky Barnes deserves everything good in this life and I'm gonna give it to him <3, anyways, happy reading!

likes, comments, and reblogs are deeply encouraged <3

Today Bucky slept with one eye open, usually, the morning of his birthday, you and Steve would wake him up screaming happy birthday in his ear with a stack of waffles with a single candle in hand, he’d always groan and go back to sleep, he didn’t like his birthday, of course he appreciated the gesture but for 70 years his birthday wasn’t even worth remembering, and after the blip, it was just a reminder that most of his life was a fight and now that the fight was over… maybe he didn’t deserve to celebrate his life.

To his surprise, when he woke up Steve was out of bed (probably on a run) and you were peacefully sleeping, way too far for his liking. Looking around the room with a pout he shrugs it off, he would never admit it but for just a tiny millisecond… he really wanted some waffles. Scooching over to you, his hands roam your body, subtly begging you to wake up, once he realized that wouldn’t work, with a chuckle he starts peppering kisses all over your chest, neck and face which definitely wake you up, given the fact that you were now swinging a pillow at him.

Now in the kitchen with some caffeine in your system, you sat on top of the kitchen counter, letting Bucky feed you cut up fruit, you still hadn’t congratulated him which was odd, but maybe you forgot, besides, he’d never be upset with you about a thing like that… the door opening and closing snap you both out of your lovey-dovey bubble, walking in, your handsome and very sweaty boyfriend Steve. Putting down his keys and water bottle, he walks up to Bucky and cradles his face, after a quick kiss he grins “happy birthday bub” he breathes out, stroking his sides, Bucky laughs sheepishly “thanks Stevie”.

The cute moment is cut short when they hear you gasp, both turning, they see you, eyes wide open in shock, hands covering your mouth, quickly getting off the counter you push Steve away (to which he responds with a feigned offense scoff) and place your hands on a smiling Bucky “it’s your birthday!” you whine, feeling ashamed that you forgot, “Doll, it’s fine, you know I-“ you immediately shut him up by putting your hand over his mouth, not interested in hearing his excuses for you, “and YOU made ME breakfast?!” you cry, wishing the earth would swallow you whole right now, “Honey don’t feel bad, he doesn’t even like it when we celebrate” Steve intervenes, Bucky felt his stomach drop, he wanted to say that it wasn’t true, but suddenly all those times he groaned, complained and even ignored you and Steve’s attempts to celebrate were now staring him in the face. Snapping him out of his bitter thoughts, you were dragging him to your bedroom by his metal wrist “what are you doing?” he asked you, without even turning back and walking with determination you replied “I’m giving you a blowjob”, too stunned to speak Bucky just laughed, the steps of Steve following behind echoing in the room.

Sadly thankfully, the day was spent like any other Friday, you all went to work, Sam gave Bucky a card that said happy birthday you old git! With an old man yelling “bugger off!”, which Steve and Tony found hilarious, got to yell at some trainees, got some paperwork done, your boys picked you up from work, went grocery shopping which was kinda fun because he got to pick the cereal, got ice cream before dinner (a wild night indeed). The three of you got to cooking, Steve did most of the work, you wouldn’t let Bucky help out and you once burned water… once Steve finished cooking, you set the table and placed a paper crown on the birthday boy’s head. Food was delicious, the company was the best but to Bucky’s surprise, he wanted more… God it was stupid he thought, but he couldn’t deny any longer that he was bummed out he didn’t wake up to the two of you screaming, you forgot his birthday, he didn’t get to eat waffles, Sam and Tony made fun of him and he didn’t even do anything special with the two of you.

Noticing Bucky’s gloom, you gave Steve a knowing look “I’m sorry today wasn’t all that special bub” the blonde whispered as he rubbed his boyfriend’s back, with a sigh Bucky place his hands on your and Steve’s thighs “it’s my own fault, I always gave you a hard time when you two tried to make my birthday special, I just- I didn’t know that I actually loved it”… with a shit-eating grin you laughed, Bucky raised an eyebrow in return “I mean I know it’s not a big deal but don’t kick a man when he’s d-“ cutting him off you sit up on his lap and hand him an envelope, with a hesitant smile he opens the envelope, in it, were three plane tickets.

Unable to get a word out he just stares at you, picking you and Bucky up and setting you on his lap, Steve grins, “we’re taking you away for a whole week bub”, and before Bucky could even protest you grabbed his jaw and pulled him down to look at you “I cleared it with work and Steve with Fury, we’re all good to go… you didn’t think I actually forgot your birthday right?” you tease with a cocky smirk, getting off of your boys’ lap, you take out of the fridge a stack of waffles shaped cake “Happy birthday Sergeant” you whisper in his ear, and before he could kiss you and Steve like a man starved, your door bursts open, Sam and Nat walking in with balloons and liquor bottles, arguing about god knows what; Wanda, Tony, and Scott also walk in with food and presents, with a loud laugh Bucky greets all of them. The night was perfect, great conversations and games with close friends only, the cake was delicious and it actually tasted like maple syrup! He couldn’t have wished for a better celebration, and it was all thanks to his loving-thought-amazing partners, perhaps he didn’t feel like he was worth celebrating, yet… but Bucky Barnes felt truly lucky to have been born.

Tags: @michgarquin

[mmvalentine]

The Bargain pt 11 | Feysand

Modern AU. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10. Just a little more smut, yeah?

Rhys woke up early and traced patterns lightly on Feyre’s skin as she slept.

They had just one more day together before he flew home to New York, but in the pale dawn light and with Feyre’s even breaths beneath his fingers, he couldn’t for the life of him think of why he needed to go back.

After a moment, Feyre stirred.

“Making me more tattoos, are you?” she mumbled, without opening her eyes. Rhys chuckled. “Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” “Why?” Feyre asked muzzily. She rolled around to face him, all smudged mascara and sleep-swollen lips. Beneath the sheets, Rhys was hard in an instant.

"Because I wanted to let you sleep." “But we only have one more day,” she said, and looked so cute when she frowned that it broke Rhys’ heart a little. He pulled her body over his, loving how soft she was all over, and kissed her nose.

"And what would you like to do with this one more day?" he asked her. Had not meant to add any suggestions of his own, but the way she was nuzzling into his chest, still waking slowly, had his hips sliding under her. Feyre's eyes widened a little, and colour bloomed on her cheeks.

"I could think of one thing," she breathed. "We don't have to-" Rhys started to say, but got cut off as Feyre put her lips on his throat. His words broke off into a stifled moan as the heat of her hovered just below his navel.

Her hands slid over his collar bones and around the back of his neck, and she was so marvelously warm on top of him. Next thing he knew, her tongue had made a blazing trail down his sternum, over his stomach, and around the head of his cock. Rhys gasped, and gripped the bars of the headboard hard enough for them to creak in protest.

When Feyre slid her mouth down over the length of him, Rhys's hips jerked forward reflexively.

"Sorry," he muttered, trying to hold still. But Feyre just moved her lips lower, letting him hit the back of her throat and sucking hard on the way back up. Rhys groaned, and the sound seemed to encourage her. She moved her head back and forth and the world shifted in and out of focus.

"That... feels amazing," Rhys told her, watching her move over his body. Feyre didn't reply, just kept up a steady rhythm until Rhys could barely stand it.

"You're going to have to slow down," he managed to get out. Feyre shook her head 'no,' and decidedly did not slow down. "Seriously," Rhys said between gritted teeth. "I'm not going to be much use you you in a second."

Feyre lifted her head long enough to say, "we don't have anymore condoms anyway," and then resumed her motion. Used her hand at the same time to cover the length of him. Rhys's hips arced up off the bed to meet her touch, and one hand moved through her hair before he realised he had reached out.

"Feyre stop I'm gonna come," he said, jaw clenched. But she showed no intention of doing any such thing. "Feyre." His control crumbled, and he started fucking hard into her mouth. She didn't pull back. "Feyre I'm gonna..." And then he was coming and she was swallowing him down and the sight of it was so unbearably sexy that his climax stretched on even after he was empty.

Feyre crawled back up his chest, kissed him with his own cum still on her tongue, and then promptly took a snooze right there on top of him like a cat. Rhys just watched her in wonder, and stroked her bare back while she slept.

Fifteen minutes later, she woke, they kissed lazily in bed and then in the shower, and then they strolled down the road to the bakery. And to the chemist.

On the way, Feyre chatted about Berlin sights she thought Rhys needed to see, iconic street art she could show him, and the best food in town. Rhys nodded along, saying very little and being content to watch Feyre animated and enthusiastic.

And he did want to do all of those things, wanted to go anywhere Feyre took him. Really, he did.

But then they got back to the hotel room, and did not manage to leave it again that day.

Did make love on the edge of the bed, fall off the side and fuck on the floor, get messy and have sex in the shower with their hands pressed up to the glass. Did cover each other's bodies in swirling patterns with black markers and ball point pens found in the hotel drawers. Did take breaks for pretzels and hot chocolate, before beginning again in the tangled white sheets with the 'do not disturb' tag hanging on the door handle outside.

They were just dozing off on the rug, Feyre in nothing but a pair of white cotton panties and black ink, Rhys completely naked, when Tarquin rang, and the sharp intrusion of the outside world in their little bubble was about as welcome to Rhys as a kick in the guts.

Feyre groaned. "Don't answer," she said, her head pillowed on Rhys' stomach. His fingers traced around her navel.

"Hello?" "Rhys! It's Tarquin. How are things over there?" "Fantastic," Rhys said. "We've finished painting and are tidying up now. I was just about to call you and tell you the good news."

Feyre took his fingers and guided them lower. She moaned softly as he pushed light circles onto her clit, over her underwear.

"You have? Wie schöne, that's wonderful news," Tarquin said. "I'll come meet you both up there."

Feyre reached out and stroked his cock while he dipped his fingers under her waistband.

"Actually," Rhys said, forcing his voice to come out evenly, "we're just leaving now. But I would still encourage you to go have a look." "Oh but I want to see it with you," Tarquin argued. "Give my thanks to you both. Shake your hands."

Rhys bit back a laugh. "Don't think you could shake out hands right now." Feyre giggled silently. "They're... covered in paint."

"Ah fair enough, but even figuratively speaking, it'd be good to see you both off." "Love to, Tarquin," Rhys said, eyeing Feyre. She was starting to arch off the floor, and little whimpers were escaping as his fingers sped up. He held a finger to his lips. "Unfortunately we actually have an engagement to get to. We're leaving the site now, and I'm going to eat something but I'll put Feyre on."

He handed the phone to Feyre, and at the same time rolled over her. Slid her underwear down and put his mouth on her pussy. She lifted her hips to him, and then mouthed Naughty, while her eyes sparkled above him.

"Hello?" she said. Breathlessly. "Oh, yes Tarquin do come have a look. It's-" here here breath hitched, "well I'm quite without words, Rhys is ve-ery skilled hmmmm I've been so glad to work with him on this project."

Rhys grinned, and reached his tongue deep inside her. Feyre clamped a hand down on the phone's speaker and bit down hard on her lip.

"No, we won't be there but I would love to... ah... to.. mm, to catch up with you later in the week. Sorry, yes I am a bit... uh... out of breath. We're carrying all the supplies back to my... umm.. my car."

Feyre swatted Rhys' head, but he just sped up his tongue on her clit.

"Doyouknowwhat, ah, Tarquin you head up there now, text me what you think and I... I'll speak to you later. Yep. Okay. Yesokaybye."

Feyre hung up the phone, threw it to one side and then moaned so loudly and deeply Rhys felt the vibration in her stomach. She wrapped her legs around his head, put her hands in her hair and pushed herself closer to him. She was hotter than anything, and then Rhys was palming his own cock while he watched writhe on the floor. It wasn't long before she was coming undone on his lips.

When she finally came, Rhys was struck with the desire to draw her, just like this, in gorgeous ecstasy and with the exact colour of the blush across her chest.

The next morning, Rhys was due to get on a plane.

They sat in Feyre's car, with Rhys' bag on the back seat, and sat outside the airport without saying a word. Eventually, Feyre said, "Do you know, I came a long way to get away from my ex, and now all I feel is homesick." "Do you now?" Rhys murmured. "I've honestly thought about moving back to New York. But I packed everything up and left. I have nothing there, I have nowhere to live."

Rhys leaned back in his seat, and grinned lazily at Feyre.

"I'll make you a bargain, Feyre darling," he said. "I'm listening," Feyre replied. "You move back to New York and you can stay with me while you look for somewhere, and then you just move out when you find a place." Feyre considered it. "That would make things easier," she agreed.

"And hey," Rhys continued. "Maybe you like living with me and you never move out." Feyre grinned right back. "Maybe you like me and we live happily ever after."

Rhys shrugged. "Anything could happen," he said. Feyre stuck her hand out.

"It's a deal," she said, and they shook on it. Rhys pulled her in by the hand and kissed her, committing to memory the exact way she tasted.

"Come home soon, then," he whispered. **** Theeeeee end! That's all lovers, thank you so, so much to everyone who has been with me on this super lovely ride. Your comments, reblogs and general love have been deeply appreciated and I am forever grateful. I am a bit sad this one is over.

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @philosophorumaurum02 @story-scribbler @allthecolorsneverseen @asteria-of-mars

[artekai]

There's been so much negativity online lately so feel free to use as an excuse to gush about your mutuals and anything they do. Whether it be art, writing, crafts, being a little cutie, making you laugh, making ocs that you love so much you basically adopt them, making a hella good grilled cheese, anything really. I've been sending this to a handful people and it's been so nice reading all the things people have to say. Btw feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna do it but at the same, if you want to you could send this to someone else and spread it more, you could do that too. The possibilities are endless.

As a little starter/something I've wanted to say for quite a while now: I really really love Artekai. He's somehow a sweetheart and a little shit at the same time and I just deeply resonate with this weirdly wholesome yet chaotic energy he gives off. He's incredible. 10/10. Would give a big old hug and smooch on the cheek.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anon this is SO SO SWEET 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 It's so nice of you to take this initiative!!! I really appreciate it!! :') <3

And that's so??? That's so great to hear??? I'm always SO SO HAPPY to hear when other people enjoy Artekai T-T

"Somehow a sweetheart and a little shit at the same time" is RIGHT!! Kai's very transparent about his emotions, whether positive or negative, and he also does have kind of a big ego, but he's determined to use it for good, so that's certainly one of the combinations of all time, haha! He's one of those OCs that basically develop themselves, and I'm very proud of him :') Kai would definitely appreciate your hug and smooch a lot. Thank you SO so much and I hope you continue to enjoy him! <333

Okay... so it's my turn to gush about my mutuals... I'm just gonna do it on this post bc I'm embarrassed (//ω//) I have definitely said these things before though, so if I'm getting too repetitive, please ignore me, I just can't pass this up :')

@woolmasterleel Hi yes I would like to nominate you for Great Art and Great Writing and Great OCs thank you! You already know how much I love Kisaki but your OCs are all so creative and so interesting and have such cool designs! And you're also such a sweet and encouraging person??? And a chemist??? PLEASE leave some talent for the rest of us ;-; I think we should talk more, if you want? 👉👈

@akeshuharu You are SUCH a sweet and lovely person and have such good takes, not just about P5R but about things in general, I LOVE seeing you on my dash, and your enthusiasm about your interests is so contagious!! I do very much enjoy seeing your cats or your pics or hearing about what you've been up to or about your interests... Thank you for the chance to brainstorm my silly AUs with you 🥺 I really do wanna talk to you more but I'm just bad at initiating conversation ;-;

@aceredshirt13 Hi, I hope you don't mind tagging you here! I really appreciate you and our talks about P4 ^^ You have such good takes about Adachi and about fandom, and talking about headcanons or developing AUs with you (whether serious ones or crack ones lmao) is so much fun! Thank you for your patience <3 Sometimes I think about how this all started just because I reblogged your post about Adachi and ranted in the tags and I think... wow, I'm so lucky, haha.

@nicxan I know I sound like a broken record, but I really DO love your fics! :D You're also a really nice person and the way you see Takuto is just *chef's kiss.* You have such good concepts, I love seeing everything you put him through and how you characterize him, and how he breaks down as a result, hehehe. I wanna talk to you more too, but I'm very awkward and don't know what to talk about :')

@almightyrozenidiot It’s really nice to see you in my notifs, especially your comments on my posts, haha, they’re always fun/sweet! And I’m very curious about your OCs too! I know we don’t talk much, but I do want to get to know you better, if that’s okay with you ^^

Anyways, sorry to everyone for being so sappy all the time, I literally can't help it T-T It's kinda hard to show someone how much you appreciate them over the internet, unless you say it directly ;-;

And of course, thank you for the ask, anon, this is all very very sweet T-T

[phoenix-downer]

The Princess of Light Chapter 7: This Is Warmth

~1520 words. Angst, Romance, Fluff, Fairy Tales. For SoKai Week 2021, Day 7.

Summary: Princess Kairi is cursed to be without love when she is a baby. She grows up cold and without a heart to help her understand other people’s feelings, no matter how hard her parents try to help her. One day, however, she meets a mysterious prince from a faraway world, and he just might hold the key to breaking her curse.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

Everything feels quite heavy after you’ve had a brush with death, and for Sora things were no different. He was swimming against a strong current that dragged him down and pulled him further into darkness. Wouldn’t it be easier to just let go? Give up and sink deeper? Give his heart and soul to the abyss? 

He was as good as dead anyway. His life for hers, his heart to save the Heart of the World. That was the deal; that was the only way the magic inscribed on the lucky charm would work. 

“Sora!”

Her voice. He’d never expected to hear it again. And yet here it was, calling out to him. 

“Please wake up!” she cried. 

“I’m asleep?” he said weakly. “I thought I was dead.”

“Sora!”

He sat up, groggy. A heavy fog lingered over his whole body, like he was swimming through syrup. The way she’d said his name—so tenderly, with so much care and worry—he’d never dreamed he’d hear such a thing thanks to her curse. Her voice compelled him, and he had to answer.

“Kairi,” he said softly, sweetly, allowing himself to address her without her title. Light pierced the darkness, and strength surged through him. He swam towards the light, and with each passing moment it got easier and easier to go against the dark current trying to drag him back down to the abyss. At last the light enveloped him, warm and soft and bright, and his eyes flew open. 

He gasped for air, drawing it into his lungs like he couldn’t get enough of it. Never does oxygen feel so wonderful as it does when you haven’t had enough of it. He gulped it in, swallowed it and grasped it till his blood was pumping it through his veins. Once that was taken care of, he could attend to his beloved Kairi hovering over him. He mustered a weak smile for her. Had she really stayed with him all this time? 

“Kairi,” he said tenderly, then cupped her cheek. She burst into tears, an entire lifetime’s worth pouring out of her all at once, and a lump built in his throat. Her very first tears since she was a baby, and they were for him. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’m alive. It’s gonna be okay.” 

She cried and cried and cried like he’d never seen anyone cry before, and thunder rumbled through the room and lightning illuminated the sky. And then it rained and rained and rained, like the whole world was in tune with her tears. 

He put his arms around her, and she just kept crying and crying. He felt a few tears of his own well up in his eyes as he held her. No more strange gap in her back where the hole in her heart should be. Instead she felt warm and firm as she shuddered and sobbed into his chest.

When at last she had cried the last of her tears, he cupped her cheek and smiled. “You begged me to wake up again, and I heard your voice.” 

That brought a fresh wave of tears from her, but those tears were mixed with smiles and laughter. She paused for a moment and touched her chest. 

“Huh? There’s—There’s no hole anymore—”

She looked at Sora and then at Aqua.

“The curse must be broken!” Aqua cried and held her arms out. 

Kairi tried to stand, but she immediately lost her balance. Sora grabbed her before she could tumble to the floor, then gently brought her back to the bed.

“My chest is so heavy!” she cried, her eyes wide. “Like it’s pulling me down to earth.”

Sora smiled sadly. “You do have your heart back, then.”

A heart was a wonderful thing to have, but it also brought sorrow and pain with it. The joy and delight made it worth it though. Especially when the king and queen entered the room and saw the curse was lifted and their daughter was restored. 

“Kairi!” the queen cried and ran to the bed. She brought her daughter into her embrace, and the king soon joined them both in a group hug. The three of them wept together, for Kairi finally understood what it was to cry. Sora sighed happily at the sight unfolding before him. The king and queen had dreamed of this moment for so long, and he knew it was important to give the family their space. But then the king looked at Sora with such gratitude that Sora was moved deeply by his display of emotion.

“Thank you, Sora,” he said, his voice breaking a little. Sora didn’t know what to say, but that was quite alright, as the king simply pulled him into the group hug. And then of course the queen brought Aqua in so that all five of them were embracing. This moment was only possible because of Sora’s sacrifice and Kairi’s light that had willed him back to life, and such marvelous things had to be celebrated. Together their hearts had created the most powerful magic of all.

~~~

Over the next few weeks, Kairi had to relearn how to walk, for having her heart restored had completely changed her center of gravity. Thankfully, she had a very eager and willing teacher by her side every step of the way. Sora took her outside near the light pool, and she used the nearby trees to hobble from one support to the next as he waited patiently with outstretched arms.

“I never thought having a heart would be this heavy,” Kairi said as she grasped her chest, panting for breath. She felt as if every step would make her go tumbling to the ground. She searched Sora’s face for some sort of encouragement. “Will it always feel like this?”

He shook his head. “Not always. Sometimes it’ll feel heavy, sure. You’ll feel sad or down or lonely. But that’s not all you’ll be able to feel.” At this he swept her up into his arms like he had so many times before when they fell in together. “Other times, your heart will be so full you can hardly stand it,” he added, for he was speaking of how he currently felt. “You’ll feel like you’re so happy you’re soaring,” he continued, spinning her around for good measure as she laughed with delight. Her laughter was so different from how it had been before; it was so warm and full of life.

“Like how I feel now?” she asked with a sweet smile, and he nodded and grinned. Then she kissed him, and at first his eyes went wide, and then they fluttered shut as he returned the kiss. You would hardly have been able to find a happier young man in all the worlds. 

“So this is warmth,” she said afterwards, resting her forehead against his and sighing happily.

“This is warmth,” he confirmed, and she covered his face in such a flurry of kisses that his heart nearly burst. He carried her to the little hill over the light pool as fast as possible, and together they jumped in again, plunging in once more.

Now, I mentioned before that when Sora restored the Heart of the World, he restored the rest of the light pools and lakes and streams and rivers of Radiant Garden too. And indeed he did, just like the prophecies said. So the people of Radiant Garden once more enjoyed the delights of the light flowing throughout their land. No longer was it limited to just the royal family. 

Eventually Kairi could walk on her own again, and the moment she could, she insisted she and Sora be married. Everyone happily agreed, Sora most of all. Watching her carefully walk down the aisle to him like they’d practiced so many times made his heart swell. And the smile on her face and the happy tears in her eyes as they exchanged their vows? It made everything that had come before worth it. Kairi had the biggest, brightest, most beautiful heart of them all.

Now, you might be wondering what happened to Maleficent. By necessitating Sora’s sacrifice to save the Heart of the World and thus Kairi, she also ensured her defeat. The moment the last of Sora’s light exploded out of him and fully restored the Heart of the World and everything else, it poured through her castle just like it poured over the rest of Radiant Garden. Coming into direct contact with something so good and pure gave Maleficent such a shock that she keeled over dead. Either that or the entire castle collapsing around her did her in. The soldiers who found her weeks later weren’t entirely sure. 

Either way, at long last the person who had brought such suffering to Radiant Garden, to the king and queen, to Princess Kairi, and to Prince Sora, was gone. Never again was Kairi’s heart cursed. She and Sora were happily married the rest of their days and ruled graciously and wisely. And they had several delightful children, all of whom enjoyed the full use of their hearts.

~~~

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read, reblogged, and commented on my story! I really appreciate all the support ❤️If you enjoyed this adaptation, I would highly recommend the original story (The Light Princess by George MacDonald). And thank you again @scoobysnack1107​ for reading over the story for me! Happy SoKai Week everyone!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

You've probably seen me and my asks/reposts/reblogs a few times and if not I mean- Anyways! I'm craving some BAMF! John content bc who wouldn't want that in their life? Also- I really love all that you do for the fandom and your followers. (I was an old Nonny who spoke about being asexual. I was wrong and I mean it happens-) But yeah you are super duper amazing and I hope one day I can do the same for others

Hey Lovely! <3

Aww, it’s okay to change your labels when figure out who you are (I certainly have)! I have a lot of asks from ace nonnies, so I’m not sure which one is yours, hahah. That said, don’t feel bad for identifying as one thing until recently... it’s normal. <3

Ah, yes, we all love a badass mother-fuckin’ John!! I’ve only done one list related to it, so I’ll link to it below :) As always, I encourage everyone to add their own fics to the list below!

Thank you for your kind words, and I hope you enjoy what I’ve got for you! <3

BAMF and/or SOLDIER JOHN

See also: BAMF! But Insecure John

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, TGG AU, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

Shooter by Amputation (K+, 1,406 w. || Post-TRF, Suspense, BAMF!John) – The men were trying to rile the other into acting first, it seemed. How boringly predictable and dull this was!

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1,835 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – John's BAMFness and Sherlock's damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Jealousy, Barebacking, BAMF!John) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF John, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Dating, Bisexuality, Arguing, Stupidity, Teasing, First Kiss/Time, Hand Jobs, Frottage, RST, Idiots in Love) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock's, and Sherlock can't figure out why he's so incensed about it.

Stay Awake by pandoras_chaos (E, 9,325 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF!John, First Time, Angst, Pining Sherlock, Rimming, Oral/Anal) – Sherlock can feel the tenuous threads of this conversation shuddering under the strain of all the unspoken words. His eyes narrow as he gazes up at John, noting the residual tension in his shoulders, the dark circles under his lower lids, and the way he is avoiding Sherlock’s eyes like a bi-polarized magnet. He knows John Watson inside and out, like the perfectly balanced coils and gears of a beautifully balanced grandfather clock, and yet John keeps surprising him. It’s uncanny, the way he keeps on being so utterly and wonderfully unpredictable.

John Watson’s Moon by patternofdefiance (E, 11,314 w., 1 Ch. || Werewolf John, First Time, BAMF John, First Time, Anal, Fleeting Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock finds out John is a werewolf and wants to see the transformation. It, uh, gets really kinky.

The Red Dianthus by kinklock (T, 11,382 w., 3 Ch. || Supernatural Elements, BAMF!John, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Romance, Halloween, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.

The Hand You're Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

Fear Itself by KCS (K+, 12,289 w., 3 Ch. || Suspense, Friendship) – John is accustomed to being kidnapped by now, but he never expected a criminal to adopt Mycroft's method of doing so, to ensure he comes along without a fight.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The Acronym by DancingGrimm (T, 15,057 w. || Humour) – "'Bee Ay Em Eff'. Hm, that's a new one on me. Do you know what it means, Sherlock?" John might not know what it means, but there are many little ways in which he proves the acronym suits him.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w., 15 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock's death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he's hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn't stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty's web, BAMF-style.

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

Traitor's Gate by roane (E, 17,714 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mystery, Bets and Wagers, Undercover for a Case, BAMF John, Scientist Sherlock, Teasing, Established Relationship, Military Base, Sexting/Texting, Military/Uniform Kink, Frottage, Dirty Sex, Anal, Bottomlock) – John and Sherlock go undercover at a top secret government lab to find out who is selling research. John is back in uniform and Sherlock is back in a laboratory, but they have to pose as strangers. Sherlock thinks he'll have an easy time of it, but John has his doubts. It's up to them to find out who is responsible for putting a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, and try to keep their hands off each other at the same time.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Invisible by chappysmom (K+, 25,947 w., 11 Ch. || No Slash, semi-canon compliant) – John had had the knack for as long as he could remember. It wasn’t that he could become invisible, exactly. The laws of physics worked quite well in his vicinity, thank you very much. It was just that people tended … not to see him. {{This was one of the first AU’s I read, and I still love it to this day}}. SEQUELS: Still Invisible (ASiB) || Too Visible (THoB) || Invisible Once More (TRF)

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,689 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Beach Holidays, Confused Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm (E, 35,663 w., 20 Ch. || Alternating POV, Molly/  John [Molly pines for John], Public Sex, Casual Sex, Obliviousness, BAMF!John, Awkwardness, Angst & Humour, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock) – Molly sees John in a new light and realises that she may have hitched her horse to the wrong wagon...or something like that. John pines for Sherlock and worries what he will think if he ever finds out. And Sherlock doesn't know what Molly's up to...but he knows he doesn't like it.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. ||  H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Watches 'Verse by bendingsignpost (E, 66,905 w. across 2 works || Magical Realism, Reality Distortion, Angst, Partial MCD, BAMF John) – First, he is shot in Afghanistan. Second, he wakes to a phone call in Chelmsford, Essex. Third is pain, fourth is normalcy, fifth is agony and sixth is confusion. By the eighth, he's lost track. (John-centric AU) Part 1 of Watches 'Verse

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse... Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE, WiP || Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis/Disabilities, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Drug Use, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

tapestry 👑 XXIII

Warnings: dark elements

This is dark!(king)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: King Steven had a wandering eye but you never thought it would fall upon you.

This Chapter: The reader welcomes old and new faces.

Note: Alright, so I managed another chapter. I’m working an awful shift that gives me no time before or after and it’s all so depressing. That being said, I think we all sense cummies in our near future as we get closer and closer to the thottening. Anyways. Enjoy. :)

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply! Love ya!

masterlist

Rita reminded you of the tutor you’d shared with your sister. He too was silent and stony. His eyes were full of judgment as you struggled over mathematics or some grammatical rule. The greying maid bore the same air of righteousness. 

You caught her rubbing the skirt of one of your gowns between her fingers with a dark grimace. You likely felt the same of the satin monstrosities but she had her perception of you and you were certain it was as immovable as she was.

You dressed in a moss green gown and pulled a matching cap over your head as your locks peeked out and trailed into a loose chignon. A gold thread lined the edge of the hat and added a majesty to the attire which contrasted your former grey selection. A golden chain of round loops rested along your hips and sparkled in the lantern light.

The king had left late the night before. The maid was not permitted until after he left. You’d cleaned up the mess before she did. Even so, she did not yield. Her dull blue eyes would not meet yours but found you when she thought you were distracted. Her thoughts were of no matter to you. She was a servant. You missed Marge.

A rap at the door and you drew your attention from the book of poetry. The worn leather cover was soft and folded at the corners. Rita crossed to the door as you prepared to rise. You dreaded another visit from the king but it was not unexpected. Though who awaited on the other side was.

Your mother swept past your father and into the chamber. You rose as she barreled towards you. Her skirts billowed from her round figure; her hips wide set and her bosom heavy, though her shape was not unattractive. She wrapped you up in her arms before you could greet her and kissed your cheek. You couldn’t help but smile as she swallowed you up in her warmth.

“Daughter,” She sang as she held you at arm’s length. “Oh I did miss you. And so much else, it seems.”

“Mother,” You beamed back at her. “You’re here.”

“I did arrive just yesterday.” She replied. She released you and turned to marvel at the king’s portrait. “Well…” She neared it with her hand on her hips. “That is… a lovely painting.”

“A gift from the king,” You stated plainly. “I did not know of your arrival.”

“You wouldn’t.” Your father grumbled as he lingered across the room. “Given your… sojourn.”

“When I left, I did not expect to return to such a mess,” Your mother turned back to you. “I see a different wardrobe but not a different girl.” She crossed to touch the chain at your waist. “Even so, much has changed.”

“Alice?” You ventured.

“The babe is still too young to travel,” She rescinded her hand. “It will be some time yet, but they are both happy and healthy. I did come as soon as the snow cleared. A pity I did miss the trial… I rather liked the old queen.”

“Pretender,” Your father snarled.

“Regardless, Willis, she was a princess still,” Your mother chided over her shoulder. “And I suppose you mean to take her place.” She looked to you and you averted your eyes guiltily. 

“Suppose it should happen whether I mean it or not.”

“It is the manner of betrothals.” Your mother comforted as she took your arm and led you to the couch. She sat and pulled you down with her. “We’ve waited so long, dear.”

“I did expect the convent.” Your father remarked.

“Oh Willis, do cease with your vile tongue,” Your mother remanded before once more turning her attention upon you. “I see he’s not changed.”

“I’ve missed you,” You said. “Really, I did.”

"I know you're young, girl, but I know you didn't think I'd miss my own daughter's wedding." She took your hand in hers. "Oh, if the king hadn't been so pious in my time I don't think I'd have your resolve."

"Do have some restraint." Your father reproached.

"Do not act as if you did not encourage her," Your mother countered. "You must've been chomping at the bit when the king set his eye on her."

"Unlike our foolish daughter," He scowled. "You've inspired in her a dangerous will."

"Did you only come to spread your black cloud over us?" Your mother accused. 

"I am most joyous at the reunion, dear, but it might not have been." He slithered. "She is fortunate she remains in the king's favour."

"And you are fortunate to be the fool who calls himself her father." Your mother was always quick to mirror his venom. "Oh, dear," She smiled at you, "I hear you've not had your fitting yet. All the better for I'll not have those gaudy royal tailors sewing your train."

"Mother? You'll sew my dress? Will you have enough time?" You squeezed her hand. 

"They'll have to wrestle the needle from my hand to stop me." She trilled. "And your uncle has offered to subsidize the dowry. Your father and I are still recovering from your sister's and a king does prove more hefty than a duke."

"The king did offer to waive it." Your father said.

"For a man who values his pride so, you are quick to sell it for a coin." She scoffed. "Oh I do hope you've not been listening to him." 

You chuckled softly and lowered your lashes. "You know I've never been very skilled at that."

"As I figured. I doubt we'd be at such an advantage if you had." She winked at you and you hid your snicker. "Husband, if you did come only to berate our daughter I should think you might be more productive elsewhere."

"I did come to extend an invitation," He retorted. "From the king. We have been asked to attend the royal table tonight."

"Oh, very well, so we should accept," She waved him off like a gnat. "Now, do I have you're leave to see to my daughter after such a lengthy absence? I should think I've had more than enough time to reacquaint myself with you, husband."

"Very well," Your father sulked. "But you carry on like this and our daughter shall be a poor wife indeed."

"I carry on like this and I shall enjoy my years to come." She snorted. "Now Willis, do go coddle those lords in council. They do appreciate your pandering more than us."

Your father sneered but said nothing more. Your mother watched him go and the maid eyed her with a measure of disapproval. The doors closed loudly in his stead.

"Now, all you write to me of is needlework," She turned back to you, "And I must hear of your royal escapades from your father, a poor narrator, and from distant whispers of court."

"I truly did not it would get this far," You confessed. Your smile fell as the shine of her unexpected appearance faded away. "I… mother, I fear I might be ungrateful. Cowardly, even. Selfish, surely."

"I know you. I know you didn't want the queen dead. However did you stumble into this?" 

She looked into your eyes and you could’ve cried because she didn’t look at you as a machinator or a tool or anything than what you were. She looked at you as a mother upon her daughter; the concern creased her plump face and aged her. You breathed deeply and leaned back on the couch.

“I don’t know,” You said. “I don’t… know. It’s happened all so quickly and I thought I could outrun it all. I thought… Why, mother, look at me. I never thought the king’s interest should last more than a week. That he would quickly move onto the next lady.”

“But he didn’t,” She ruminated. “I suspect he’s rarely been denied a thing in his life and we’ve all just witnessed how far he’ll go to get what he desires.”

You hung your head. “Do you think I am foolish for not loving him back? Not truly?”

“I don’t think that at all.” She said. “My girl, I think you’d be more foolish to love him back, but even I can see you’ve got to find a way to tolerate him if you don’t.” You nodded weakly as your eyes stung. “He’s handsome, surely, and from what I’ve heard, he does shower you with kindness. Why, look at these chambers.” She sighed. “I know these things do not mean love but you must do as any woman must in a marriage. You must find a way to bear it.”

You lifted your head as you searched her. “And when he bears me no longer?”

“Do not let him tire of you,” She urged. “Why, if I can bear your father as I do, you can bear the king. Your father does act as if he detests me but he does also come to me when he cannot decipher his courtly troubles. Make yourself useful in whatever way you can and they will endure the rest.”

You chewed your lip as you weighed her words. It was no different than what you’d heard before from Rose, Barnes, your own father. You were truly trapped. There was no horse fast enough to take you away from here or any prayer loud enough to evoke a miracle. This was it. Your life. Your lot. Your fate.

👑

The king hosted the dinner in his receiving chamber. A large trestle was set up in the place of his usual small table and his desk was shoved aside. You were the first to arrive; your guard escorted you as Hugh bid you come.

Steven waited within his chambers as servants set the table for the evening meal. He welcomed you with a kiss on your hand and lecherous eyes. You could only think of the day before. The stickiness along your chest. You were repulsed by the memory.

"I have heard your mother arrived at last. I think it only fitting we bring our families together." He explained as he clung to your hand. "We will be one soon enough."

"Your highness." You agreed. He looked at you sharply and you quickly corrected yourself. "My king."

He smiled and turned once more to watch the servants at their work. "A spring wedding. The season of rebirth. Fitting, isn't it?" He mused.

"Yes, my king," You agreed as you let him pull you around the room. "Very."

"A marriage in the spring is a good omen." He continued. "My last wedding was in the winter. Hideous affair." He stopped at the head of the table and looked over it. "Though I care little for the ceremony," He turned to you and leaned in to whisper. "I'm more eager for the wedding night."

You smiled and nodded. You licked your lips nervously and his eyes followed your tongue. He hummed hungrily. 

He was drawn from his fixation by a sudden disturbance. The doors were already open to allow the servants to pass in and out. A deep feminine voice neared from down the hall and soon filled the doorway. 

You looked up to the grey-haired woman with wisps of gold still laced through her strands. She entered with two maids in brown upon her tail. Her rich azure skirts stirred like a storm as she stopped before the long trestle.

"My son," She greeted the king as her decisive eyes found him. You were quick to bow as you recognized the dowager, Sarah. "I am weary of travelling and now you send to me to sup when I could as easily dine on my own and see to you in the morning."

"Mother, it is only a hour's ride to Charmal." His tone mirrored her own exasperation. "I did offer to attend you there."

"The castle is much too small for your court. A den of liars and fools." She ranted. "I never did like being the queen." She quieted suddenly and her eyes fell upon you, frozen in your abeyance. "Is this the one?"

"Yes, mother, this is--"

"Oh yes, I've heard of her." Sarah waved you up with two fingers as she neared. "They said she was plain but I didn't expect this." You blinked at her as she stood before you. "Though she is not entirely unattractive."

"She is beautiful," Steven insisted as he crossed his arms. 

"Ugh, you always were the romantic," She shook her head. "No doubt the reason Eleanor met her end, not that she was very pleasant to be around at all."

"Your highness, it is a pleasure to meet you," You offered.

"People say that often but how can they know so soon?" She pondered dryly. "Oh, girl, I do see it in your eye. You're quite irritated by me."

"I wouldn't say that," You replied cautiously as you glanced at Steven. "Merely surprised. Unprepared for our introduction."

"Do not worry about my son or propriety and speak to me straight," She demanded. "You seek to be the new queen?"

"Our betrothal would have it as such though I never sought it out." You said evenly.

"Oh, you did not?" She narrowed her eyes. "And why would any lady not dream of a crown?"

"Because it is more than a crown. Because it entails a heavy burden, a plethora of responsibilities which can never be entirely fulfilled, an obligation of one's whole person which would have the lives of others upon the same brow that wears the gold." The words steamed out and you stopped yourself with a hand to your chest and gulped. She was truly rousing in the worst way. "My apologies, I do ramble--"

She scoffed. "You are honest. And smart. I'd not give anything to have the crown back. Well perhaps I would abide it if it meant my husband should rise from his grave but even then, I do doubt my willingness to wear it."

You were silent as she stared at you. She considered you a moment before she retreated. She walked around the table and examined the cutlery.

"You will hate it. You should know that now. The last queen would tell you as much if her head was still in tact." She said wryly.

"Mother." Steven warned.

"Son." She countered curtly. "I won't lie to the girl. She's young, she's likely been lied to enough." She looked to you again. "This is more than a wedding. More than a marriage. This is everything. A country; a people; life. You will hold more than your own well-being in your hand, you will hold the world."

"Your highness." You nodded thoughtfully.

"And this one," She pointed to Steven. "As much a boy as the one I taught to walk. Impetuous, indulgent, and impulsive."

Steven exhaled loudly as he paced opposite his mother. He was almost growling as he kept his arms crossed and glared at the floor.

"But he is king and if I tell him not to marry you he will be ever more intent on it and so I wish you good luck in this catastrophe." She looked down her nose and straightened a fork. "I shall remain for supper but do not expect me to break fast with you, son. I am too old for all this courtly absurdity."

"Do as you wish, mother," Steven grumbled as he approached his mother to pull out her chair. 

"I think I shall," She smirked and sat. "I'll have some wine first. The girl too. She looks like she's in need of a cup."

"They'll serve the wine with the food." Steven huffed.

"I know they will but I am thirsty now," She leaned back and looked like the queen she'd been years ago. "Sit, girl." She ordered as she waved to the chair next to her. 

You sat as Steven beckoned to a servant and called for wine. The dowager tapped her fingers on the arm of her chair. "So you’re the fawn who fell the great lioness from her pride."

"I did not… I…" You peeled at Steven as he hovered around his own chair and watched. "She did sow her own fate."

"So she did but she was weaving it for quite a long time." She remarked. "I do wonder at the snag that unraveled her."

"I did not wish her harm as I've never wished any harm." You said. "I only wished to be as I was. Insignificant and uninvolved."

"This is court, girl. That is impossible." She snickered.

"So I've discovered. So I shall surely continue to discover." You frowned. "What should I say? You want my honesty but you think you already know the truth. What has happened, has happened. I had my role in it though it did not unfold as I intended. 

"A woman has died and I live to take her place. I am a villain no doubt in many minds, in my own even; yours too, it seems." You bemoaned. "Perhaps I should accept that and cherish it. Nurture it until I grow as sinister as you would have me. I'd surely be better off if I did."

She arched a brow and looked between you and her son. You sensed Steven's gaze upon you. "Perhaps you should." She said. "A queen cannot afford to be good, only merciful, and mercy cannot exist without a degree of cruelty."

Silence permeated the chamber. Steven cleared his throat and pulled out his chair. He sat heavily and gripped the arms of his chair. 

"Mother, I expect you will cease the theatrics for our other guests." He muttered. "Or you should have your wish of a night alone."

The tension thickened as mother and son glared across the table. Your mouth was dry and your chest threatened to burst. You pressed yourself to the back of your chair and willed yourself into the void. The queen laughed and a servant appeared with a bottle of wine. She raised her glass to the maid and then reached for yours.

"Drink up," She said. "It'll soon be your best habit."

[onwardintolight]

Have you had a chance to read Last Shot yet? If so what did you think?

Yes I have! I finished it the day before yesterday, and I really enjoyed it, despite a few qualms.

I especially liked Han’s emotional journey as he comes to terms with being a parent. I’m dumbfounded at how a lot of people (*cough* Reylos) have used this book to argue that Han was a terrible parent and even to insinuate that he abandoned Ben, when clearly that’s anything but the case in the book. (It’s also not the case in any canon book or source material. Le sigh.) I think a lot of people have already addressed this though, and I’ll reblog some good stuff about that later, so that’s all I’ll say on this ridiculous assertion for now. 

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Han grow as he wrestles with his fear and insecurity, learns how to simultaneously be a dad and follow his passion, and starts to really find his place during this new time after the war. I’m sure I’ll struggle similarly if/when I become a mom someday; I can’t imagine how daunting it would be for Han, having never had a family of his own. I thought his struggles were really sympathetically and beautifully portrayed. 

It’s made abundantly clear that his love for Leia and his son knows no bounds — in fact, that’s exactly why he’s struggling so much in the first place. He wants to be what they need and is afraid that maybe he isn’t; maybe he’s not equipped to be the “perfect” dad, whatever that is. And he finds out that, no, he may not know everything there is to know about parenting, but that’s okay —he’s trying and learning, along with Leia, and he loves them deeply, and that’s what matters. Moreover, his passion for flying isn’t something that he has to give up in order to be a husband and dad. Both can exist at the same time. He can be true to himself and a family man.

I did find it irritating, however, that they show Han as struggling with all this, but Leia seems to automatically know everything there is to know about motherhood (@inelegantprose​ has said some good things about this). This to me reeks of sexism. Yes, Leia had a family growing up, but she had no Organa siblings and I can’t imagine she was ever surrounded by very many babies, lol. The birth of a child would raise a whole lot of fears and insecurities for her, as much or even more so than Han — particularly when taking into account the knowledge of who her real father was. 

The book says that Ben’s arrival “seemed to light up the whole world when he’d first arrived: this simple impossible sliver of hope amid so much death and destruction.” I like that idea, and I could imagine they both felt that, profoundly. All the same, I think it’s likely that while Ben was dearly loved and celebrated, he wasn’t planned, and if Leia had had the opportunity, she would not have chosen to get pregnant (at least not yet), fresh off the revelation of her bloodline. (Although I also think it’s entirely possible she was just pushing that information away during this time, denying it and not dealing with it because it was too hard to accept.) 

Anyway, I wish the book had showed some of Leia’s parenthood struggles, too, and not set her up to be such a natural supermom. However, I’ll concede these points: 1) This book is entirely centered on Han and Lando and their inner journeys, not Leia’s. 2) Leia admittedly has had a WHOLE lot of practice at looking poised and put together, no matter what’s she’s going through (something the book even mentions). 3) While I believe the author could have done a better job and portrayed it in a less sexist way, there’s still a lot of room to guess at what’s really going on in Leia’s mind. 4) At least this is less fodder for Kylo stans, I guess? Consequently, I’m not as upset as I might be otherwise.

My opinions of the characterizations in this book varied greatly. Most often, I felt like there was a remarkable sensitivity to the characters’ emotional worlds that rang true. And that, to me, is what matters most. Still, there were bits of dialogue and action that just didn’t feel right to me, and, like in some of the comics, the characters at times seemed rather like extreme caricatures of themselves. For instance, Han’s tendency to run things by the seat of his pants doesn’t mean he’s always spontaneous or unprepared. He came off as rather clueless at times, which I think does him a great disservice. He also came off  as overly gruff and terrible at communicating, which I think he is to an extent, but not nearly as much as this book makes him out to be. Also, just because Leia calls people names in ANH and ESB when she’s really upset doesn’t mean she calls everyone names all the time (as a sidenote, I found some of the names she called people in this book a little odd. Calling Han “you old lug” or “old man”?…I’m just not feeling it).

That being said, overall, I felt like Han and Leia’s interactions in this book were an absolute delight. There are several scenes and exchanges that I will treasure. I don’t want to spoil them, so I won’t go into too much detail here. I also appreciated that, while Leia’s motherhood struggles were not acknowledged, her trauma very much was. There were a few little hints and snapshots into that from both conversations and Han’s reflections that I thought were extremely well done (and left me with a whole ton of feelings).

Similar to how I felt about the characterizations, I’m kind of back and forth on the plot itself. Overall I enjoyed it, but there were three storylines going on in three separate timelines, and the fact that they were all mixed around throughout the book, while involving some of the same main characters, made it a little confusing for me. I felt like there were some leaps of logic, too, that were perplexing. However, this entire impression could be due to the fact that my brain was rather foggy the night I read most of it. Who knows, a second read-through might make it all fall into place! Moral of the story: don’t binge-read this book when you’re half-asleep. ;) 

I really loved the exploration of droid rights, and what that actually means, although I felt like there could have been a lot more said on the subject.

I’m thrilled we got a Latinx POC author for Star Wars. I’m sure there’s a lot I’m missing (do I have any Latinx followers who can tell me more?), but I appreciated the representation and perspective. Also certain little details, like the fact that there was an Alderaanian character who clearly speaks with a Spanish accent (putting an e- before a word starting with st-, for example) — more evidence for a Hispanic Alderaan! 

Speaking of representation, off the top of my head, I can think of a non-binary person, a gay person, and many people of color, including main characters (and not just Lando). On a much lesser note, I also appreciated the fact that a lot of aliens were represented too!

I loved Lando’s journey in regards to his relationship with Kaasha; exploring what it means to be his scoundrelly self and yet be committed to one person.

I really loved the look into Han and Lando’s pasts with the storylines set ten years before. There’s one element in particular that got me from the outset, which I’ll write briefly about under the cut so as not to spoil anyone.

All this continues to give me great hopes for the Solo movie, and that they’ll approach these characters with sensitivity and complexity (as well as fun).

TL;DR: This book was probably a 7 out of 10 for me — I enjoyed it quite a bit, though it doesn’t come near to replacing some of the other new canon SW books for me (of which Bloodline still tops the list). I had mixed feelings about certain things but overall I’m happy about this addition to canon! I strongly encourage you, if you have any interest at all in new canon, to ignore the ridiculous Kylo-apologist discourse and give this book a shot!

(warning: spoilers under the cut!)

The part I was talking about that really got to me was when we first meet Han 10 years prior. As the scene opens, we find Han nursing a hangover and a broken heart over a girl (he never says her name). While he eventually gets over it, we are given a poignant window into Han’s big heart and sensitive soul underneath the rough exterior. He can’t help but love people. He can’t help but be absolutely devastated at their loss. He’s lonely and constantly striving for human connection (we see this later in how he relates to Sana and develops a rather silly, sudden rebound crush on her). He tends to go all in, despite himself and the risk, and consequently, he ends up getting hurt a lot. THIS MAKES ME FEEL A LOT OF THINGS. Gaaaah I love Han Solo, okay? It hurts to see him hurting, but it also makes my heart so happy to know that someday, he’ll find the belonging he so desperately seeks.

[fair-fae]

I would deeply appreciate it if you could help me. BalmungBlunders thinks that it's appropriate that they can act anonymously without consequence while attempting to ruin the names and reputations of others. We as a community should come together to ask them to disclose who the moderators are so that we can develop a fully informed opinion of their claims. I ask only because I know you have more reach than I could ever hope to.

Hello, anon! I understand your concerns and completely agree that BalmungBlunders should be shut down and their moderator(s) exposed, and we should do what we can to impede their blog further slinging mud. Unfortunately, several people on and off anon have already asked them to give the name of their moderator(s), as well as expressed their concerns about the blog in general, only to be met with snarky and rude responses. Their total lack of regard for the community’s concerns and criticisms; the needlessly insult-riddled, hyperbolic, and opinion-filled attempts at calling out people they claim are predatory; and their willingness to publish every accusation they get with no vetting, no transparency, no evidence provided, and no time taken to look into the matter themselves has proven to me that they do not have an ounce of sincerity. Even their intentions are not good, and their claim of their goal being to help the community is a shallow farce meant to justify their actions and try to rally others to support them (and some have unfortunately fallen for it). tl;dr they’re asshats who don’t care what other people think and feel, so I feel even more demands for them to expose themselves will be a waste of time.I have some suggestions for what we as a community can do instead:1. Don’t participate. Do not send them your logs, or your negative opinions on other people, or your callout posts. You sincerely think someone is a danger to the community and others deserve to know? Then do it on your own blog. “I want to be anon so I’m not harassed” is no excuse–anytime you name drop someone else they could potentially be harassed for it, which they don’t deserve no matter what awful thing they did, so if you aren’t willing to take that same risk for yourself for a good cause, then it’s obviously not something you consider that worthwhile or are prepared to do at this time. BalmungBlunders is not the platform to use. Do not invite more attention to a blog that only exists to breed hate and negativity and spur drama and rumors. Your claims will be lost in a sea of bullshit there anyway. The blog is a platform for anyone to say any nasty thing they feel like anon with no proof or legitimacy needed. Don’t support that, and if you have real issues you want to expose, don’t get them entangled in that mess of mud-slinging.2. Don’t support them. Don’t follow their blog. Don’t like or reblog their posts. Don’t leave them encouraging replies or asks. Don’t link them to your friends. Don’t support or signalboost any of the claims made there or take them seriously, even if it’s about someone you don’t like, even if you know it’s true. Again, even if maybe one call out is legitimate, spreading it around isn’t worth calling more attention to that blog largely just full of baseless hate. Find another avenue if you’re so inclined.3. At this point, I would recommend not even trying to take them seriously or reason with them. They don’t care one bit. They thrive on the controversy and attention. Everyone has already brought up every concern to them that there is, and they have given smarmy responses of “sounds like you’re a pedophile too :^)” and “if you’re mad, you’re part of the problem.” They don’t give a shit, and they want to laugh at you giving a shit. Don’t let them. If you want to send them messages, spam their inbox with stupid, asinine shit. Flood their askbox so much they can’t look through the senseless shitposts you’ve sent to find the accusations people are sending them to publish.4. Hold others accountable. If you see people sincerely reblogging or linking their posts or parroting the things said them, if you notice your friend taking the blunders blog seriously or thinking their brand of harassment is funny, confront them. Tell them it’s not cool. Explain to them why it’s an issue. Tell them it’s not okay. Make BalmungBlunders the butt of every joke and express your fervent disapproval on your own blog. Let others know that what’s happening is not okay and they shouldn’t be on board with it.5. Expose them, because they won’t expose themselves. Whoever is running the blog is so smug and arrogant I have no doubt that they have or will boast and laugh to people about running it. If you know who is involved with the blog and you have proof, expose them. Someone dragging others’ names through the mud like this and facilitating the community to spread baseless accusations does not deserve to have their own anonymity and privacy protected.