#anyway experiences experiences I am going to bite anyone who's that condescending to me again

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 2 (Dark Side)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide, runaways, health issue mentions, weapon mentions, panic attack description? (Though honestly it’s more of an anxiety attack), death mentions, child abandonment mentions. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I recommend listening to Dark Side by R5. I thought the actual lyrics to the song gave off a solid vibe that I wanted to transfer to the start of this particular chapter.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Together Master List

Chapter 2: Dark Side

When you woke up this morning, you had the sweet scent of Vanilla and honey hit your nose. It was warm and inviting and made you feel safe. You were glad, normally you’d never feel safe in the wild. The pack helped a lot with that issue. But when you woke up today, you noticed that you had woken up to a quiet house. Which was… strange to say the least. There was always some sort of ruckus going on downstairs in the early hours. So you figured you’d go investigate cautiously, in case something had happened. You grabbed your thigh garter belt with your knives attached before you quietly made your way down the stairs. You saw and heard no one. Nothing was wrong or out of place. Everyone was just… gone. But why?

“Boy, you come prepared don’t you?” A male voice said from the stairs, causing you to jolt back in surprise, automatically drawing your knife from its holster on sheer instinct, ready to release it at any given moment.

You relaxed and placed it back to your thigh as you realized it was just Jihoon, one of the less spoken wolves of the pack.

He was only a few inches taller than you, but you were still incredibly intimidated by him. You weren’t sure why all the others were terrified to piss him off, even the alphas, but you were never worried he’d get mad at you. Which was weird, you were always skeptical of everyone, it was just in your nature as a rogue wolf.

However, with him, it wasn’t horror that overtook your veins, it was nervousness. Like you had some sort of school girl crush on him and you were worried you’d mess something up in front of him and die from the embarrassment of it. But why? Why would you care what some rando wolf would think of you when you’d probably be leaving in a bit when your wounds were healed better?

“Jesus Jihoon! You know I could’ve killed you right? Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to fuck with a bitch with knives?” You huffed out in annoyance while slapping you hands over your face, praying that he hadn’t seen your cherry red cheeks yet.

Of course he had though. He never took his eyes off of you whenever you were in a room. You were just too zoned off to notice

“Uh no… Not really. Never had them so they didn’t teach me shit. Not that any of that matters. We both know you’d never hurt anyone if you could help it.” He shrugged, nudging past you to make his way to the fridge for a bite to eat with a small smile pasted on his glorious lips. God he annoyed you.

“You don’t know that. I always come prepared, I could be a serial killer for all any of you know” you cooly threw his way as you let your guard down slightly, for some reason trusting him enough to have a semi civilized conversation alone.

“Yeah yeah you’re a little vicious killer. Whatever you say kid” He laughed out, trying to keep his amusement in check at your quick replies.

You gritted your teeth, “Hey I am not a kid! I’m centuries old! MUCH older than you.” You smugly responded to his bitch ass nickname for you.

Jihoon looked you up and down for a second, making you a bit self conscious and spreading a heat down to your lower belly, “You don’t look older than me. Matter of fact, you look like the youngest one here. So I’m gonna keep calling you kid, kid.” He leaned in close to you and whispered seductively in your ear.

“Where- where is everyone?” You stuttered out, trying your best not to focus on the minimal contact Jihoon had made with your shoulder while brushing past you moments ago. Curse your dumb instincts. Why did you have to find him attractive? Couldn’t your wolf side ever just stay in check?

“The market? No, to Taeyong’s? Maybe it was to the river? I dont know by the time they left it didn’t seem like they even knew where they were going so I stopped listening.” He answered while taking a bit of an apple he had snagged from the fruit basket on the counter.

“W-why didn’t you go with them?” You questioned him as you tried your best to avoid his piercing gaze.

“Didn’t feel like third wheeling a bunch of mated coupled wolves.” He shrugged once more while sitting himself on the kitchen table you were next to, “Plus, someone needed to stay here and keep an eye on the house.”

“I would’ve been here.” You chimed in, as if he would’ve ever seriously left you alone.

Whether you were a Werewolf or not, he was NOT gonna leave you without some sort of safety net if he could help it. If he had it his way, you wouldn’t even go down to the market with the other mates when supplies were needed. He knew you could handle yourself as a fellow wolf, and he knew you were the best to go because you weren’t marked yet, but he was worried for you.

You definitely had people looking at you because of your different appearance. You were drop dead gorgeous to anyone with eyes, and that greatly concerned him every-time you went out shopping. He may have been more of a lone wolf, but he wanted to protect you at all cost, even if you didn’t realize that’s what he was doing yet.

“Doesn’t count. You’re a FANCY werewolf, remember?” He emphasized the word fancy in a condescending way that irked your nerves all the way to your core.

“We don’t know what you can do yet. Besides, you act like I’d actually want to go watch them make goo goo eyes at each other all day long. Seeing them cuddle and dry hump the whole time we’re doing something isn’t my idea of fun. I’d rather be here and enjoy the peace and quiet while I can.” He said as he tossed the remains of his apple in the garbage can in one swift motion.

“I can do everything you guys can and more!” You defended yourself, getting a bit frustrated at the younger wolf for doubting your abilities.

“Then prove it. Do something… super wolfy” he chuckled out, half jokingly and half seriously in what a normal person would recognize as a flirty manner.

He hadn’t had too many girlfriends. His experience with girls was limited compared to his brothers. So sticking to his sarcastic edgy tone was the only way he knew how to engage with you.

He was curious as to what your powers entailed anyways. They all were, none of them had met a wolf like you before. All the wolves they knew were modern, and the only seriously powerful wolf they knew was from a Chinese pack that had fled to their area who could communicate with heaven, hell, and the nether realms. They had heard stories that had been passed down for some generations about what wolves were like long ago, but none of it was confirmed because nearly all had been killed or died off. So they wanted to see if you could actually do all the things from the legends they heard about your people. For all they knew, you could fly.

You hesitated for a moment, trying your best to think of something, anything that you could do that would shut him up and prove your point. But everything you thought of required you to be much stronger than you currently were. None of the visible powers you had were working right now due to the small amount of silver still running through your system. Even if you were working at full strength and weren’t hurt, you had never been able to use your powers to their full extent do to something having been wrong with you since birth.

“… I- I cant.” You sighed in defeat while bringing your head down to look at your hands.

“Why not?” He wondered aloud, not even really meaning to tease you, he just let the innocent question slip from his lips without thinking.

“Because I got hurt and I have no way to get better! My entire pack is dead! Everyone I love is dead! I don’t have a mate! I need some sort of connection to the people around me to heal faster and I don’t have one anymore! I need one or the other to have my powers come back this quickly after such a traumatic incident and I have neither! I’m fucked up and I’ve been fucked up for a long time okay!” You snapped, your eyes now bleeding and turning emerald green from anger as you yelled at him.

Once you saw his confused and remorseful expression, you quickly closed your eyes and turned around to try and calm down. You didn’t mean to go after him like that, but you were already very worried about your own health not coming back and the taunting tone in his voice just made you break. You could feel the hurt in his heart. It made you want to cry, you didn’t mean to yell at him. You were just a very touchy person who had been asked about a very touchy subject.

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset. I just- I’m concerned for myself and this conversation… well it made the concerns I already had skyrocket. But that’s not your fault. You would’ve had no way of knowing that. I apologize for getting mad at you over something so childish.” You earnestly said, trying your best to look him in the eyes without blushing from embarrassment.

He quickly moved his head down to look at his lap. He understood your pain. He could feel it everyday. You were his mate, he already did have a connection to you. He knew when you were sad or hurt or worried. He knew that you weren’t just in physical pain, but emotional pain as well. He wished he could take it all away from you so you never felt a negative feeling again. But he just couldn’t. Though, he was upset at himself for making it worse for you. Why did he always have to try and stir the pot? Couldn’t he just leave well enough alone? Couldn’t he just be cool around you and know when to stop?

“It’s okay. I… I understand what it’s like. To not have anyone I mean. I didn’t realize that you actually had to have those things in order to heal better though. With wolves now, we don’t necessarily have to have those things. I mean having them helps, but we get better eventually anyways as long as we get the wound cleaned properly. I didn’t know it was different for you...” He bit his lip as he continued, “But you know, our pack can be your pack, if you want anyway. There’s an opening for another ticking time bomb now that Chan’s found a mate. You’d be perfect for the job” he joked, though you could tell he was serious at the offer for you to join the pack.

“Yeah… how much does it pay an hour?” You played along, trying to lighten the mood from the tension you had made appear due to your little anger outburst.

You hurriedly propped yourself up on the table next to Jihoon, who gave you a small smile in return. It gave you goosebumps all over your skin. So you were thankful you had grabbed a large sweater the pack had given you before you went downstairs this morning.

You were given a bunch of them. They made you feel safe, and you loved the way they smelt. So when the other mates apologized and said they didn’t have many ‘girly clothing items’ to give you as getting clothing was sparse at the moment, you didn’t complain. You were perfectly content with your bigger clothing.

When you sat up on the table, you smelt the same scent of vanilla and honeysuckle that you nostrils had been absorbing from the clothing given to you…

“Not a lot.” Jihoon confessed, “we only offer housing, protection, and being around people who would do anything for you. But honestly, you could do a lot worse in terms of a career.” He bit his lip once more, the action drawing a small pur from your chest, which you tried to cover with a small cough. Of course he still caught the sound though. You weren’t even sure why looking at him made you that happy. The sound made Jihoon swoon, he loved that he already had such an impact on you.

“Of course there’s also some downside like with all jobs… like having to constantly break up fights, having a complete jackass for a mate, and well… you know… sharing bathrooms…” he trailed on, rubbing his neck while he attempted to make it seem like the middle part was casual.

“Wait! A complete WHAT for a WHO and WHERE was I???” You all but yell out in shock, making Jihoon wince.

He couldn’t tell if you were upset that he’d just burst it out like that. He honestly couldn’t even tell if you knew you were his mate or not. He didn’t know if you WANTED a mate or not. From what he knew of you, you usually stayed away from people unless you had to be around them. You told the others that staying alone is how you’d survived all these centuries. But Would you make an exception to your rules for survival to stay with him?

“Uh… yeah. A mate. That would- that would be me. I’m your mate…” He whispered, attempting as best as he could to regain control of his heartbeat that was now almost pounding out of his chest.

That’s when it all clicked in your head. Why they let you eat first with the mates, with the OTHER mates. You were one of them. It’s why they found you when you needed help, he must’ve felt you were in danger. It’s why you didn’t die that day even though your wounds would’ve been normally fatal even to you, because he was near you and never left your side. It’s why you weren’t scared of him like everyone else, you knew he’d never hurt you because he loved you. It’s why the pack always giggled anytime you and Jihoon would get near each other. It’s why the smell on your sweaters and his smell were so familiar, he gave them to you because you were his. You two were mates. It all made sense.

“We’re- we’re mates?” You reaffirmed out loud, but you started to feel dizzy. You weren’t sure what was happening.

Everything was going too fast, it felt like you were moving in slow motion but the entire world was spinning as fast as it could around you. The edges of your vision started becoming fuzzy and dark. You started to feel like you were going to pass out, but before you could fall flat on your face to the floor, Jihoon caught your fragile body in his arms.

“Yes. We are. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I wanted to give you some time to adjust to being around normal people before I told you.” He assured you as he started moving towards the stairs, bringing you to his room and setting you down on his bed. He was incredibly worried for you, he could hear your heart rate slowing by the second.

“You might need to lay down. You don’t look well” he spoke softly as he held the back of one of his larger hands to your clammy forehead.

“Yeah… okay… rest… that makes sense… I’m sorry I- I just wasn’t expecting-” You tried to say as you start to give into the panicking darkness, not wanting to fight the urge to black out anymore.

“It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in. Just try and sleep okay?” He shushed you as he moved his blankets over your petite form, hesitant to touch you as he didn’t want to make matters worse. But his inner wolf was screaming at him to hold you and rock you to help you.

Everything you had heard about Jihoon told you he wasn’t someone who could have a relationship. All the others always talked about him wanting no one around him ever. They called him a grumpy old rogue wolf who miraculously got stuck in their pack. They said that He did things his own way. He did things alone. So did you.

“Jihoon, how the hell are we supposed to be together when we’re both lone wolves?” You whimpered out to him before everything went dark.

Another Author’s Note: alright so you guys know the drill. I wrote this close to midnight and I’m too tired to care about revising rn. So i shall look at it and fix any mistakes tomorrow when I get the time. Tomorrow I don’t think I’ll be praying more than once. Sorry, I’m working a doubt shift. But Wednesday I’m hoping to post three times! Here’s to hoping!

(Updated 9/6)

[an-ambivalent]

Uchiha Therapist: Part I

Synopsis: Yandere! Madara x Reader x Yandere! Sasuke 

 [Name] is a struggling post graduate psychology student who has more on her plate than she can handle. Between her practicums to gain work experience and writing reports, to trying to maintain a decent lifestyle and look after her own mental health, there is little to no time left to work an actual paying job. Yet, money is essential for survival. So,  she does the next best thing that has been trending recently to assure a good paycheck; she becomes a sugar baby. The only thing is, [Name] is unaware that she’s become sugar baby of the Madara Uchiha, the notorious CEO of Uchiha Corporation. She is also unaware of the fact that she’s the therapist of his nephew Sasuke Uchiha, who has begun treading over the professional boundary of a patient, and has started developing an abnormal fixation for his therapist since she seems to be the only one who actually understands him.

Warning: Although this story will come to contain yandere themes that can be triggering or uncomfortable to read, there are no yandere themes present  in this chapter. It does have mentions of negative and tiring thoughts that may be triggering. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional and any yandere or other toxic behaviours that may be present in the future, know that I do not condone such behaviour. 

Word Count: 4K 

--

Story start; A day in the life of [Name] 

On the night that started it all, when [Name] was feeling particularly disheartened and dissatisfied with her life, she had vented her frustrations and sorrow to her good friend Ino Yamanaka. Although many things in her life were going right, and she was privileged enough to have the chance to pursue her wanted career, it came at a cost. Her entire life schedule was fixed around her post graduation studies, other little spared time was for cooking and doing chores, and the rest was for sleeping. [Name] lacked the time for earning money, and doing things that were higher on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs — dating to find someone to create a meaningful connection with, or working on her previous hobbies. 

The two friends had been consuming enough booze to be a little more than tipsy but not enough to be drunk. Some words were slurred, the fine motor control had decreased a bit, and with their faces slightly flushed, Ino was convinced that she had the best idea to [Name]’s problems. 

Giggling at her own idea, Ino had snatched [Name]’s laptop from in front of them, and tapped various keyboard keys for joogle to search up. Once she saw the results, she clicked on one of the many websites shown as a result, and after a few more minutes of more clicks and keyboard taps, she had turned the laptop towards [Name] to see, with a triumph grin on her face. 

“A sugar daddy,” Ino claimed proudly. 

[Name] raised an eyebrow. “What?” 

“A sugar daddy — it’s the perfect solution for your troubles. Not only will you get to earn more than enough, it covers the dating aspect too! Someone to spend your time with, to sleep over with — just without getting too attached. You’ll have a social life once again that doesn’t consist of you drinking booze with me or our other friends and you can finally afford to look decent again,” Ino explained straightforwardly. 

[Name]’s eye twitched. “What do you mean finally afford to look decent again?” she inquired in a low voice, and glared at Ino, who smiled sheepishly at her. 

“Well you’ve been a fashion disaster for sometime now—“

“Sorry I don’t have rich parents like the rest of you to buy me extravagant brands,” [Name] retorted, and a tick mark of anger bulged on Ino’s head. 

“Well Sakura is a commoner like you too and even when she was a starving student, she still had a fashion sense. You don’t need to buy something expensive like jucci to look decent!” Ino snapped, and [Name] scowled at her. 

“Whatever. This discussion is pointless anyway since I’m not going to become a sugar baby,” [Name] responded, and went to grab a bottle to consume more alcohol.  However, the uneasy and anxious expression that Ino wore made her halt amidst her movements. All of a sudden, a cold shiver ran down [Name]’s back, and she felt a sense of dread building up in her gut. 

“Please tell me you didn’t,” [Name] pleaded and Ino winced inwardly, before she turned the laptop around to show [Name]. 

“I did… I already signed you up. You have a date with him this Friday night.” 

“INO!” 

That was the gist of how [Name] had become entangled in her predicament with Madara Uchiha, and what was meant to be nights for [Name] giving her daddy some casual sugar, turned into an diabetic sugar addiction. 

It was baffling really, how as children, people can be better in following orders than they can be as adults. And for someone like [Name], who had been studying psychology for years now, and began to work with the theories, one would think that practicing what she preached would be easier; she was great at helping her clients, but not much at helping herself. 

“Make sure you don’t go with strangers” — a lesson that had been engraved in children at school and from their parents for their own safety. It was one of the most basic rules of common sense to evade danger; however, it was the rule [Name] failed to follow. Instead of not going through with her fixed date with a sugar daddy, who was a complete stranger and who knows pose what danger, she had gone through with it. And she had not even taken any caution to have their first meeting in a public place, no. She had gone to his home, which was the only place he accepted for their meeting, because she was too anxious to say no or not go through with it. 

She really wondered how she was able to help her clients so well when she could not even manage her own anxiety. 

So, now, here she sat. Since by Ino’s definition, [Name] was a walking fashion disaster, the blonde had refused to let her go without her help. Their tastes differed, but even [Name] had to admit that Ino had done an incredible job in helping her choose an outfit that was suited to her tastes. Granted, it was skimpier than what she usually wore and more figure defining, but it did make her look really nice. She did not look like a savage mess with evident dark eyebags who appeared to have just gotten out of bed and went to work straightaway like she did on a daily basis. But she felt exposed and uncomfortable in the setting she was not accustomed to.

The penthouse she had been invited to was extravagantly luxurious; the small dining for the two of them (her and soon to be her sugar daddy) was right next to the giant window in the living room that showed a beautiful night view of the Konoha city. Lighting in the room was ambient and romantic, and there was a small pizza, that looked ridiculously expensive for what it's worth, and red wine settled before her. While she did not want to indulge in such luxury, feeling on the edge of the seat because of how her sugar daddy to be was scrutinizing her with calculating onyx eyes, and never being the one to refuse free food, she mindlessly ate it, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“You know, usually you’re supposed to make conversation and sell yourself to try and convince me of why I should stick with you rather than someone else,” Madara spoke, and this was so abrupt and unanticipated on [Name]’s part that she froze half way through biting her food. Her cheeks felt hot in embarrassment, and she awkwardly coughed loudly before looking up at Madara. Although he found her antics to be somewhat adorable, he kept a straight face. After all, to gain the attention of a man of his status, there were many who did the strangest things to appease him. Madara was not a man to be tricked so foolishly. 

“Why should I sell myself when you haven’t convinced me to why I should be your….uh, sugar b-baby rather than s-someone else’s?” [Name] responded. She had started off strongly, but near the end when it came to referring to herself as a sugar baby and realisation of the situation sunk in, she felt herself become more flustered. 

Now, it was not odd for people to be intimidated by Madara. However, acting in confidence at the same time, and to question his authority, that was new. The corner of his lips twitched upwards in amusement. He leaned back in his chair and raised a fine black eyebrow at [Name]. 

“And why should I have to sell myself to you? I’m the one who, essentially, is paying for everything,” he challenged, and [Name] scoffed at him. 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s really costing you,” she mumbled under her breath, before clearing her throat. “Someone else can pay me too.” 

“You had no reviews on your profile, you’re lucky that I even chose to click on it. Usually, it’s hard to get started since no one bothers with anyone with no reviews.” 

[Name] shrugged. “That was your own choice, don’t shift the situation onto me. And besides, how do you know it's only reviews that count online? I might know a lot of other sugar daddies I had in my past that desperately want me but it's lucky that I chose to give you, a stranger, the chance.” 

Madara was amused by the fact that [Name] had used his own logic against him, and could not help but smirk. Even though it was more than obvious through her behaviour that she was an absolute newbie to this, he decided to humour her. 

"Well, I am an Uchiha," Madara said simply, as if that sole reason explained everything. 

[Name] blinked in confusion. "Uhhh, okay…? Well, I'm [Surname]. That explains why you should choose me.” 

This time, her response really did leave Madara confused. His eyebrows were furrowed and there was clear confusion written on his face. 

“You don’t know the Uchiha?” he asked incredulously. The urge to sigh in an exaggerated manner and snap at him was strong, but [Name] decided against it. With the way he spoke in that condescending tone, and expected [Name] to treat him as if he was of utmost importance, made it more than obvious to her that he was used to being treated as the highest authority. Perhaps he was of importance and not watching herself around him could lead her into a huge mess. But [Name] did not particularly care about his status or whatever he had going on that made him expect her to seemingly kiss the floor he walked on. If she cared about authorities and sucking up to people, then she would not be training to be a therapist in the first place. There were going to be times when she would have to fight authorities and regulations with her sweat and blood for the sake of her clients. And really, if [Name] did care, she would not have been here in the first place -- having dinner with a complete stranger. 

“Uh I do?” she said, but it sounded more like a question. Madara opened his mouth to respond to her, but he shifted the focus of the conversation to another topic. He felt even more perplexed by [Name] now because how could she not know the Uchiha? 

“Nevermind, it’s not of importance. Tell me, why are you in this line of business? You don’t seem,” fit for it, he wanted to say, but chose his words carefully. “The type to want to do this.” 

In response, [Name] felt flustered. She wondered if it was really that obvious that she was not used to it and Madara was simply humouring her. She could very well tell him the truth that it was because Ino had tricked her into it. However, that would make her seem gullible. Now that she may be committing to this, she knew she needed to build a good reputation for herself. She decided to tell the half-truth. 

“I need the money,” she answered in a murmur, before she brought the glass of wine to her lips, and took a huge drink from it. 

Madara watched her with analytical eyes as she downed her alcohol, taking no moment to savour the taste. He had also noticed how she was on her third plate of their dinner and wondered if she had any decency and how she was capable of eating so much. 

“Your job doesn’t pay you enough?” he asked in a genuinely concerned tone, before he followed [Name]’s example and downed his remaining wine in one go too. He had never done that before, and after finishing it, he had to admit there was an odd sense of satisfaction of not savouring its every taste and drinking it all together at once. 

Madara was staring at her with anticipation and worry embedded deep in his ebony coloured irides. Frankly speaking, [Name] had not have someone look at her with such concern in a long time. Generally, on the rare occasions she did speak freely about her worries, whoever she shared her problems with would give her their own input rather than simply listening to her and asking her the right questions that would help her discuss or figure out her own problem. The sight of it made her heart beat faster, and she unknowingly found herself talking before she even what she was doing.

“It’s not that… Well, actually I don’t even work. I barely have time to breath, working is my last priority right now,” she murmured, nervously fiddling with her fingers, as she observed Madara from the corner of her eye.

“While I cannot relate to your financial struggles, I understand the situation you’re in. Becoming so busy because of a goal you once had, that you question whether it’s even worth pursuing it anymore. You lose sight of who used to be and the things that brought you pleasure. There’s always something to do that you can’t even remember the last time you truly felt alive,” Madara said thoughtfully, and his words caused [Name]’s eyes to widen. 

“And no matter how much you want to try and change things, it just feels like you’ve been stuck in the same cycle and it keeps repeating over and over and over again,” [Name] murmured, sighing dejectedly. “I really hate the world.” 

Madara chuckled at her declaration as he lifted another bottle of wine that was on their table. 

“Me too. Why don’t we discuss more things we hate about the world and learn about what we in common over more wine?” he suggested. The edge of suspicion and tenseness he held before was no longer present. Instead, he was now feeling much more relaxed than he had in awhile, and felt intrigued about [Name]. The twinkle in his eyes in hopes to talk to her more caused her lips to stretch into a cute flustered smile. 

“Sure.” 

____________________

It was the week which was like the last and there was no change but stress levels felt higher. Even after a decent ten hours sleep, [Name] felt exhaustion crawling like bugs underneath the epidermis layer of her skin. Dark bags were swelled prominently underneath her eyes. Her hair was tied carelessly in a messy bun that fell to one side; it wasn’t pretty like the one’s beauty gurus showed. It was loose but the knot was tight enough to make the weight of the hair feel too evident with each passing moment. Taking a quick sip from her steaming mocha, she greeted the administrators on the front desk that were the first point of contact between clients and the therapists who worked further back in the office. This office was where [Name] was presently working to gain practice experience in her second practicum. Generally, students in training were simply meant to observe and learn. If permission given by their supervisor, they could step in. But in [Name]’s case, for the sake of the story’s plot, the office she had chosen this time were understaffed. And since she already had finished one practicum and had quite a lot of other experiences from volunteering under her belt, she was trusted to work independently with whatever clients may be assigned to her. 

“Good morning Moegi and Konohamaru,” [Name] greeted, and the two looked up from their screens. When they noticed it was [Name], they beamed at her and returned her greeting in response. 

“How was your weekend [Name]?” Konohamaru asked, as he handed her the appointment schedule of everyone she would seeing today. 

[Name] was ready to give her autopilot response of it being "okay" and then quickly shooting a "how about you" like she usually did. However, before those words left her mouth she paused to ponder: truly, how had her weekend been? 

It was okay. Actually, it had been more than okay.

It had surprisingly been a lot of fun. When she had went through with her sugar daddy date, she had somewhat expected that she may end up having sex with a rich man she would not have been attracted to and receive compensation for sleeping with him. But that had not been the case. Madara was quite attractive, and although the dinner date had begun with a few subtle jeers thrown at each other, she had ended up having a good time with him. The fact that she felt safe enough to be vulnerable with him in the way she didn't even feel that level of comfort with her friends, and shared things she hadn't even known she was bottling up - - it was such a profound experience. To go from discussing their hatred for many things, to confessing secrets and feelings they weren't judged for, but rather, listened to, to getting so drunk that they sang cheesy songs and ended the date with their own unplanned karaoke night, it left an odd feeling of satisfaction and joy in [Name]'s chest that she had not felt in a while. The knowledge of knowing that she would be seeing Madara again soon left her feeling embarrassed. 

"It was," she began, and she covered her face with one hand to hide her embarrassment. "Really nice and fun. I had a good time," she murmured somewhat quietly. Then, right away, she scurried off towards her office before they could question her further or talk about their own weekends.

[Name] had left Moegi and Konohamaru surprised with her response, and the two turned to each other wondering if they had heard right. 

It was after lunch when [Name] was indulging in some [favourite fruit] iced tea, hoping some sugar would help her stay awake when she had an appointment with a client she would be seeing for the first time. She had settled her drink on the table beside her, walked through the hallway, and into the main office with reception and waiting area for clients. 

It was there she saw a young man not much older than herself. He had warm ivory skin and black hair bangs that framed his face. The back of his head looked like a duck’s butt. He must have heard her footsteps because before she even called out his name, he had looked up. When her eyes met his, she took a sharp intake of breath because he looked oddly similar to Madara. The way his obsidian eyes scrutinised her made her feel uneasy. Nonetheless, she gave him, what she hoped appeared to be a welcoming and reassuring smile. 

“You are Sasuke?” she assumed, and he stood up. 

“Hn,” Sasuke responded simply, and at the lack of any greeting or even a facial expression caused [Name] to sweatdrop. But nonetheless, she carried on like she did with all of her patients. 

“Before we start your session, did you want anything? A hot chocolate, coffee, water?” 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at this before he replied nonchalantly. “A black coffee.” 

[Name] nodded and just before she could speak once more, a head of messy black curls invaded her vision and she was greeted with a smile that was almost too falsely cheerie for her taste. 

“Hello! I’m Shisui, Sasuke’s cousin. And stoic face over there is Itachi, Sasuke’s brother. You forgot about us Miss. Therapist,” Shisui greeted brightly. At his exuberant persona, Sasuke glared at him. The one who he had introduced as Itachi, sighed, and [Name] looked at them apologetically. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t notice you. Can I get anything for you as well? If you’ve been with Sasuke until this point, I can assume you’ll be staying with him.” 

Itachi nodded and stepped up front and held out his hand for [Name] to shake, which she obliged to almost instantly. 

“Yes. We are here to oversee my little brother’s recovery at my Father’s orders and make sure there is progress,” he explained simply. His words were harsh. It was evident in the way Shisui had become tight lipped, and how Sasuke had now averted his glare onto Itachi. [Name]’s eyes shifted to observe their reaction and then returned to Itachi who was looking at her stoically. It wasn’t too obvious. However, she noticed with the way Itachi’s jaw was clenched more tightly than it had been before. This change in his body language clearly indicated that he had not wanted to say what he did and he did not want to be here. And from the intense glare Sasuke regarded him with, [Name] safely assumed that whatever was going on with Sasuke, Itachi seemed to be a part of it. Underneath Itachi’s pretty eyes, she noticed a sense of tiredness that was all — physical, mental, emotional and more. She saw that same sense of exhaustion on her own face each day. 

The session had not even started and this was already turning out to become so complicated. [Name] hoped she would still have her sanity by the time she graduated and came to do this full-time. There were some of her colleagues who never bothered with rules or following basic procedures to assure their clients comfort and wellbeing. Lucky for her clients, she did. And when she needed to, she would bend over backwards and willingly go beyond her capabilities for them. 

She knew from the way they all held themselves, and particularly with how Itachi had spoken that they were of important status. Their ‘father asked [them] to be here’ was a subtle way of implying that she could get in huge trouble if she did not comply with them. But [Name] just didn’t care. 

She turned to Sasuke with a stern look on her face and motioned towards Shisui and Itachi. 

“Do you want them there to support you or would you feel more comfortable with just you? Either way is fine. It’s your decision,” [Name] said smiling at him. 

The three raven-haired males that had been introducing themselves moments ago stilled and their eyes widened in shock. Shisui was the first one to snap out of it. 

“Uh, Miss. Therapist, I don’t think you know—“ 

“I know what I’m doing. Please refrain from implying such things and let my client decide for himself,” she retorted, narrowing her eyes. Shisui went to warn once more, but he was stopped by Itachi, who shook his head. 

Itachi’s gaze went to Sasuke, and then back to [Name] as he spoke. 

“I’m sure she knows what she is doing. We all wish for Sasuke’s wellbeing. We won’t intrude if he doesn’t want us to,” he proclaimed. That was his way of hinting for Shisui to drop the subject, and reassuring both Sasuke and [Name] that he was on their side, particularly with Sasuke, letting him know that he would not let their father find this out. 

“Aniki,” Sasuke murmured in disbelief, staring at his brother for a few moments. Then, he looked back at [Name] to see she was still giving him the same sweet and gentle smile she had greeted him with. 

Maybe, perhaps, this time, signing up for therapy would be worth it. Maybe he could allow himself to talk to her and not fear judgement and consequences like he had with his previous therapists. 

“I’d like it to be by myself,” he murmured, looking away from her with slight pink cheeks. As his eyes had drifted away from hers and met Shisui’s, who gave him a warning look, his shoulders tensed and his eyes snapped back to [Name] right away. “P-Please and t-thank you.” 

He did not need to glance at Shisui again to know the oldest male was now grinning at him. 

Seemingly, his politeness seemed to be unexpected and Sasuke wanted to scoff at how [Name]’s eyes had lit up in pride. It almost annoyed him because did they really think he was that dimwitted? 

“You’re welcome. Now, follow me please. Shisui and Itachi, our session will be around an hour so you can come to pick him up in that time,” [Name] said. The two of them nodded and waved the two goodbye as Sasuke followed after [Name] to her office. 

-------

A/N:  (tbh, uhhh, I plan for this to be a yandere story [whispers: eventually] but this chapter is fluffy. I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this or if I’ll add more Uchihas as love interests and turn into a reverse harem for [Name], I’m gonna make shit up as I go along and hope it turns into something decent lol gang gang. I just need to write a story I can write without worries and just enjoy the process of it rather than caring about where it leads. So yeet. I hope you join me on this journey <3)

[queen-scribbles]

Character Interview-Mallory

Tagged by @haledamage​, who wants to see one of my Wayhaven girls specifically. I’m all too happy to oblige(actually was planning on doing it with at least AJ and Mallory at some point anyway, so being tagged just bumped it up the priority list ;D)  Fabulous new art courtesy of lovonne

1. What is your name?

“Mallory Denney.” She gives a slight nod and sits with her hands folded on her desk. “Nice to meet you, I suppose.” While the words sound true enough, she looks less than entirely comfortable with the prospect of being interviewed. 

2. Do you know why are you named that?

She smiles slightly, fondly, the stiffness fading from her shoulders. “I think Mum just liked the name Mallory, and Dad was so in love with her and excited to be starting a family he agreed. My middle name’s for his mum, though. I do know that for sure.” The smile shifts more toward wry. “Of course, given… some recent events, having a name that means unlucky seems more than a tad ironic.”

3. Are you single or taken?

The stiffness is back and she shifts ever so slightly in her chair, gaze dropping to her hands as one thumb picks at the other. “I… That doesn’t seem relevant. But, to humor you, I’ll say work is important, and I have a lot on my plate, especially as liaison to the Agency, so there’s not really time for anyone outside that.” She glances at her computer screen. “Which I suppose would make my answer that I am single.”

4. Have any abilities or powers?

She almost seems relieved at the change in topic. “I know a couple different martial arts, so I can handle myself quite well in a fight. I’m a bloody good shot, very determined, and quite good at deductive reasoning.” She snorts softly. “Much as I wanted to join the army, I do have to admit to being well-suited to my current career.” 

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

She cocks her head, arching one brow, and laughs. “If you think I’m lacking in flaws, I can give you the names of several people who will  be all too happy to change your mind.”

6. What’s your eye color?

“Hazel.” She gestures vaguely toward her face. “They trend toward the green end of the spectrum most days, but under certain conditions I’m told they’re more golden-brown.” A wistful look flashes through her eyes, there and gone so fast it would be easy to miss. “Mum says they remind her of Dad’s.”

7. How about your hair color?

“Black.” She runs one hand through the loose, silky waves that hang down her back, gathering them forward over her shoulder with a half-twist. “That I got from Mum.”

8. Have any family members?

“There’s Mum, but she’s the only one I’m close to, however tricky that’s been with her job.” She rolls her eyes. “A few relatives from Dad’s side who’ve stayed just enough in touch they felt free to make their opinions known when I started planning to join the army….” A snort. “Probably why I don’t talk to them much any more.” 

9. Oh? How about pets? 

She shakes her head. “I’ve thought about it a couple times, but I work such long hours it wouldn’t be fair to a dog, I’m allergic to cats, and my immediate neighbors are not the type to enjoy knowing there’s a rodent or snake  living next door, so those are out in consideration of them.” She absently gathers her hair in a loose ponytail, which she leaves hanging over her shoulder. “I did come rather close to getting a bearded dragon, but they grow enough to require a tank larger than I’ve room for.”  

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now, tell me something you don’t like?

“Being lied to. Being used. My authority and/or competence being questioned.” A wry smile twists her lips. “Being treated like a bloody child, usually just b’cause I’m shorter than most.”

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

“The martial arts I mentioned are both for self defense and enjoyment.” She cracks her knuckles, thinks moment. “People watching, camping, sports or exercise of any kind, really, but particularly swimming.”

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

“Certainly,” she shrugs. “Both professionally and personally. Some I regret, others” --she smirks--”Others I do not.”

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Not so far, though I have come close on a couple occasions.” There’s a flicker in her eye that hints at this not strictly applying to the line of duty.

14. What kind of animal are you?

“I have been informed on many occasions that I remind people of a wolf. It’s not always meant in a complimentary fashion.” She shrugs. “If that’s the case, I I would like to further clarify that I am either a lone wolf or an alpha; fine working on my own or with a team, but in the latter case, definitely prefer being in charge.”

15. Name your worst habits?

“I’m too stubborn by half, short tempered besides, and competitive enough for it to be my undoing someday” She smirks. “There’s more, but those are the worst.”

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“Mum, obviously. Her job’s not easy, but she does it to keep people safe. And she’s done her best to keep in touch with me despite it keeping her busy and being a massive bloody secret.” She runs her finger over a slender ring that circles her pinkie. “We’re not always as successful at keeping in touch as we’d like to be, but it’s enough. I know she cares, and she’s doing a damn hard job. Can’t help but admire that.” She thinks for a second. “I also admire Tina’s optimism and Felix’s cheerfulness, even if I can’t quite share them.”

She leans back in her chair, staring at the ceiling and clearly biting the inside of her cheek as she wrestles internally with something, before sitting forward again with a groan. “Never, ever tell him I said this--and I mean EVER--but….. despite how arrogant and condescending he can be, Adam’s commitment to protecting people no matter how low his personal opinion of them is extremely admirable.” She groans again and tugs on her ponytail. “I’ve had to do that before, just once and for only a couple days. It’s hard, especially when the person you’re protecting validates your opinion.”

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

“Straight.” She arches a mildly judgmental brow. “Not that I see why it matters.”

18. Did you attend school?

“I did. University was a struggle, if I’m honest; I’m more of a hands-on learner than a classroom type, so voluntarily doing the latter was… not the most enjoyable experience.” 

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“It’s not something I’ve ever really thought about, if I’m honest.” She purses her lips. “I don’t have a problem with the idea of a family, but I would be worried about putting any children through the experience of losing a parent in the line of duty, having been through that myself. I suppose you could say I haven’t ruled it out, but it would require a lot of careful consideration before I actually did it.” 

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Her gaze narrows and darts toward the front desk, specifically the young officer slouching in the chair to play some sort of game on his phone. “Unfortunately.”

21. What are you most afraid of? 

Her expression closes off, face going rigidly neutral, save the dark look in her eyes. “Failing at my job. I’m supposed to protect people.” She rubs her arms, gaze going distant as she murmurs, “and there is no feeling in this world more awful than not being able to do that.”

22. What do you usually wear?

She shrugs, relieved at the lighter topic, but something still lingers in her eyes. “Something practical and comfortable. Usually that means something like this”--she gestures at her t-shirt and cargo trousers-- “with Old Faithful there and a pair of sturdy boots.” She nods toward the beat-up and clearly well-loved leather jacket hanging on a hook by the office door.

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

“Anything from Haley’s Bakery,” she says with a wry smile. “I realize that’s far more than one food, but, really, that woman is entirely too good at what she does. I suppose if I had to pick just one, though…. Strawberry rhubarb pie.” 

24. Am I annoying you?

She presses her lips together and arches a brow. “No comment. Captain Sung thinks this is a good idea for PR, so it doesn’t really matter what I think about it, does it?””

25. Well, it’s still not over!

She flicks one wrist in a semi-dismissive gesture. “Then let’s keep going.”

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

Her brow furrows in thought. “I believe we would count as middle? Not scrambling to make ends meet or anything, but I’m not exactly rolling in money, either.”

27. How many friends do you have?

“Not many.” That wry smile is back again. “I’m not particularly social, and not the easiest person to get along with, both of which are rather significant obstacles to a large circle of friends.” She pauses, lips moving as she silently counts. “At least four, though.”

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Pie?” She cocks her head. “Depends on who made it. If it’s one of Haley’s, I’ll eat the entire thing myself, regardless of type.”

29. Favorite drink?

“Tea, particularly a good strong cinnamon chai black tea.” 

30. What’s your favorite place?

“The gym.” She cracks her knuckles. “Working out’s my preferred method for handling stress, thinking through problems, things like that.”

31. Are you interested in anyone?

Her expression locks down again, but her ears are going red under her hair. “I… We already established that I’m single and too busy to change that, didn’t we? That I don’t have bloody time for anything outside detective work and the Agency.” The fingers of one hand curl against the opposite bicep and a muscle in her jaw twitches. She shakes her head to pull out of the encroaching memory and arches a brow. “Who would you imagine I’m interested in, anyway?”

32. That was a stupid question…

“I wouldn’t call it stupid,” she says carefully. “Perhaps redundant. I know personal details are a large part of what interests people in interviews and articles.”

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“A lake, I suppose,” she replies after a moment’s thought. “Riptides are bloody terrifying, and they’re not a threat in a lake. Unless it’s a very large lake.”

34. What’s your type?

She clears her throat and glances toward her computer screen as if hoping for a distraction. “You’re really determined to get something about my love life out of me, aren’t you?” She sighs. “My type… Honest. Stands by his convictions, willing to protect people, no matter how thankless a job it can be at times. Y’know the saying about actions speaking louder than words? Someone like that, who’s more interested in doing the right thing than just saying the right thing.” She makes a face. “I dated a sweet talker at university; pretty words do not a good relationship make. Trust me. Other than that… Green eyes are nice. Unless they belong to arrogant, condescending blonds who think they belong in charge by default and refuse to let anyone get a word in edgewise.” Despite her scowl and the tight set of her jaw, there’s no real heat behind the words.

35. Any fetishes?

She smiles, gives a small shake of her head. “Sorry if that disappoints you.”

36. Camping or outdoors?

“Both are quite fun, though I’m confused by that ‘or’ as camping usually takes place outdoors, doesn’t it?” she says playfully. “I do enjoy outdoor activities like hiking and such. The woods around here are quite lovely and peaceful, for the most part. And I love camping.”

Her computer chimes and she glances toward the screen. Her expression turns serious at whatever she reads. “Unfortunately, I have some important, time sensitive information I need to discuss with our pathologist, so we’ll have to end things there. I hope what we got through is sufficient, and I trust you can see yourself out.” 

Without waiting for confirmation or farewell pleasantries, she closes out her email, grabs a file from her desk and her jacket from its hook by the door, and is gone toward the basement steps. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #195

i’m fighting to stay up and see the blood moon but i am already ready to fail at 9:30 lmao.

What’s the first website you go to when you log onto the computer? Usually KM. Does your house/apartment have a bathtub or just showers? It's both. Where are your birthmarks? On my right forearm and the left side of my stomach. When’s the last time you found something unexpectedly? The closest occasion to come to mind was when I was inches from crawling into fox intestines... yeah. The grass was just high enough to hide them until I was RIGHT there. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. What color was the last scarf you wore? Idr the last time I wore one. I never do. Is there at least one ex that you can still trust? Girt. Are there any celebrities who live fairly near you? Not to my knowledge, and it's very unlikely. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? Maybe? When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? Months ago. Is there anything that you want to do, but you won’t do because you’re too afraid? Skydive. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. What’s the longest amount of time that you’ve spent away from your home? We were technically homeless from I think early February '17 to some time in April (we all "lived" with people I'm immensely thankful for), so that time. Did the last movie you watched have any emotional affect on you? No. What motivates you to go to school? I absolutely refuse to live my own independent life as I've known it so far with serious financial instability that, since being a teenager and truly understanding, has made me want to rip my hair out. Don't for a single moment be unappreciative of knowing you're having a home next month, a working car, insurance, and I'll just stop before this ruins my mood. When was the last time you heard someone talking about you? With certainty, Mom and Nicole, but that was months ago. Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? No, I like my bedroom, just not the fact how tiny it is. When was the last children’s birthday party you attended? My nephew's. Are you good at reading other people’s body language? I think so. If you’re sick, do you go to school or do you stay home usually? I'm not in that position now, but when I was in school, uh yeah, I begged Mom to let me stay home. Honestly I could just barely be feeling sick and I'd try to stay home. Yeah, I loved middle-high school. Shit, I think I gave Mom trouble in elementary, too. Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? I wouldn't know, I don't like it. What’s one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? A meal, idk, and it also depends on what kind of sickness we're talking about... but with anything, I never eat much or anything heavy. Have you ever set out to ruin someone else’s day? No. Well, I don't really know if I count that impulsive "guess who's going to the ER again" shit, just because I don't remember if that was a motive to just ruin his day, and it also wasn't planned? But I know I intended it to hurt initially at least because I wanted to know he cared, so... Make your own judgment on this one. What was the name of the last board game that you played? I rarely play 'em because I just don't tend to enjoy them almost at all. I don't recall, but I'm sure it was something with Girt; we usually play them when he's here. Do you like to give people a taste of their own medicine? No. Well, if I don't dish it out. I don't believe in karma, but I think it's normal to have a "how does it feel now?" reaction when someone experiences the wrong they've given to others. How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? I don't recall. In a car, air conditioning or roll the windows down? I strongly prefer AC. What type of personality do you find most annoying? Over-the-top judgmental and condescending, but especially egotistical. Do you give any consideration to what’s said in your horoscope? Absolutely zero, and I admittedly find ignorance and gullibility in you if you do. I'm generally super, super open-minded, but. Having faith in the horoscope is a weak point there. Have you ever done cocaine? Wow no. Has anyone ever called you a whore? I don't believe so, excluding jokes with friends and such. Are you the oldest child? The youngest? In the middle? Only child? The middle of my "full" siblings, second-youngest if you count them all. Has anyone ever told you that you have a cute nose? I actually think so? When was the last time you wrestled? Probably with Jason playfully, so years ago. Do you like your first name? I do. Whose car were you last in? Mom's. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been twice. First time, the damn hole closed while I was in the hospital (I had to take them all out, and four piercings total closed, yay), so I got it redone. What was the last reason you went to the doctor? Therapy. What can’t you wait for? Going back to school or getting a job I don't hate. Have your parents ever smoked pot? I don't think so. Do you like scary movies, what was the last one you watched? With who? Yes. Last year's Halloween with Mom. Is there someone you know you should hate but you can’t? I believe I have enough reason to hate Colleen, but I don't think I feel that strongly enough to, especially as yes, she did wonderful things for me too, but I can't forget the many reasons of why I questioned our friendship. I think I just strongly dislike her. Do you take walks often? I can't thanks to my damn knees mixed with my current, lovely sweating situation. I can't walk here anyway, we live on the side of a decently busy street. Do you like Subway? Sure. When’s the last time you said you were fine, but really weren’t? Idk, I've learned to not do that. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back? No. Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? Maybe? I know at least texted. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Are you fascinated by outer space? I'd love to see a person say no to this. What’s a fun website you recommend? Nothing surprising or new... Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Sometimes. Through VR, the person working with me has really emphasized that I have to learn to when you're out trying to get a job and such with how you'll be receiving calls. Do you like spontaneity? It really depends, but in most situations, I think no. Do you have dreams that you’re not giving up on? I absolutely refuse to. Do you have hope for the future? Some days. Not as much as usual of the late. Are you optimistic? No, I'm a realist. Do you think your hair looks better up or down? It's too short to be put up. Do you like bare trees or green-leaved trees better? Autumn trees. Between those two, probably bare, I guess. Do you love your hometown? Yeah, having the Bloods gang try to break into your house, having eggs thrown at your window, drugs being easy to access, and former criminals walking right down the streets, yeah, it was great. Do you dream of decorating a house someday? Well yeah. It wouldn't feel like home if it wasn't personalized. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? I hate you and your barbarous ass more than I care to describe. :) Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? Never been on one in the first place. Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? I don't like green much, but I love orange and pastel blue... eh, I dunno what to pick. Is there anything you’re saving up for? A shitload of things. Know anyone with a really annoying laugh? FUCKING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? I learned recently my grampa was in the navy for I believe two wars. Idr on Mom's side. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? Ugh, change the color of these walls, please. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? I haven't been on a bus in years, but back when I went home with Jason, we sat in the back with a few of his friends. If it was of my own volition now, uh. Probably the middle. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, but BOY will I if you give me a damn good reason, particularly if the person has hurt a loved one. Do you currently have any bug bites? No. Have you ever gone to see a movie just to make fun of it? No. When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over? y e s Ever been to a REAL metal show? Not yet. How much time do you spend on the computer? Better question is how much time am I not. How do you feel about Motorhead? Loads of respect for our late Lemmy as an icon in the metal community, but I don't know many of their songs. Like every human being at least, "Ace of Spades" I love and is a BANGER. I'm actually not a big fan of Lemmy's voice, but I can overlook the singing for the overall sound of the song, for example, Megadeth for me. What words or phrases do you tend to overuse the most? "Fuck," "shook," "rip," "fite me," and "don't @ me," lol. I am an adult y'all. Is there anything in particular that you’re shy about? Above all, talking about things in particular that I really enjoy/am passionate about, RP being the main one. You will probably never see me more uncomfortable than when explaining/talking about that with 99% of people. Classic rock love ballads: totally cheesy or totally awesome? GIMME. Are you more kinky or conservative? Well I wouldn't really know, I've only ever done "normal" things. I don't think you'd know unless you tried something. What color is your pillowcase? Both are brown. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever pulled a muscle? Uhhhh. I don't know. Would you consider yourself rebellious? I both do and don't for varying reasons. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) I'll just consider "real" ones, as my first contenders were all from fictional media, lmao. I genuinely like pentagrams, especially when designed in cool ways. What methods are most effective for you when you’re trying to relax? Deep, rhythmic breathing. I recommend it to absolutely anyone in an anxiety attack or something of the like. I believe it's actually proven to work, and at least to some degree, when I do it correctly and long enough, it works miracles. Here's a really helpful gif I trained myself with: https://thumbs.mic.com/MTc0NWZkOWM5YSMvYnhwRHF6Y2JLcUVuOVZGNUV5d1BST3Q0TU1ZPS9maXQtaW4vNzYweDAvZmlsdGVyczpub191cHNjYWxlKCk6cXVhbGl0eSg4MCk6bm9fdXBzY2FsZSgpOmZvcm1hdChqcGVnKS9odHRwOi8vaW1hZ2VzLm1pYy5jb20vZnh1NWxjNGh2d2RseXdwYmdobDU2YnV2ZGp1a2VqbXd5YnhpZXYxanRmaGlvZGNhcWtpaXR5d2N5NWFlc2dlNy5naWY.gif Are you any good at making the infamous puppy face? I wouldn't know; I probably haven't done that since playing around with Jason years ago... if I even did then, and I've changed a lot physically. Would you rather date your opposite, your 'twin’, or someone in between? In-between. Are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent? Moaner that tried to be really quiet because I was so paranoid we'd either be heard or I'd be too loud and miss someone coming home or something lmao. I was so scared of that happening that I always decided we had to stop if I was starting to feel like screaming. What documentary topics interest you most? Wildlife. Is there currently someone you want to get closer to? A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Do you take any medications that make you nauseous? Not anymore, anyway. When I started Latuda, it was rough sometimes, but I've been on it long enough to where it no longer bothers me. Do you ever make up your own words? No. Do you have any nicknames that are actually true about you? No. How many videos do you have favorited on your YouTube account? I believe the max where I believe it has to remove old ones lmao. I used to favorite like, any video I liked, but now I use it true to term. When did you have your last 'facepalm’ moment? I did that not long ago, but I don't remember why. Has a boyfriend or girlfriend ever nicknamed your, erm, 'privates’? No, and I don't particularly want anyone to. Do you know anyone who has carpal tunnel syndrome? Myself, actually. I knew I would develop it eventually with how much I've typed since before I was even a teen. My mom has it, too. Do you like raisins? NONONO When did you first kiss the last person you kissed? June last year. What are some of your favorite cities you’ve been to? Literally the only serious "city" I've been to is Chicago, which was great. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) Don't want kids, but hypothetically, it would depend on their maturity level. What’s something about adult life you were never warned of or prepared for? Uhhh idk, but mostly because it's not like I act like a "real" adult... No job, no car, no real adult decisions to make, and Mom handles anything else I can think of. Did your parents teach you proper table manners when you were growing up? As kids, yeah, common sense ones and not putting your elbows on the table. Which I find super stupid and haven't done in years. I only rarely put a napkin on my lap, really just if my grandma's here or I'm eating something actually messy. Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pinterest, and never for something I care about. I need to turn them off. What is the minimum age to obtain a driver’s license in your state/country? 16. If you won the lottery, do you think any of your family members would ask you to give them some of your money? I'm torn between Mom or not for various reasons on both ends... but I'd help her out regardless. What is the craziest thing you’ve seen happen at your workplace? N/A Do you own any home automation gadgets like wifi thermostats or wifi bulbs? I don't think so? What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Dark Souls lmao. What would you do if your ex contacted you? I. Don't really know. I know for sure I'd be closed-off as fuck, examining every blink the dude did. I'd maybe be open to having an acquaintance-level "friendship," but that's it, and I don't know if I could ever stop being aloof. Last time you had anal sex? (if ever) Never, doesn't sound appealing to me. Ever tasted a flavored condom? No. Are your parents wealthy? Lol no. Dad's I believe middle class, but Mom? Have you ever asked someone out? Yeah. What products do you use in the shower? Shampoo, body wash, a facial cleanser. Do you like Swedish Fish? Noooo, they've always been one candy I just don't like. What movie can you watch over and over, and it will never get old? Idk, I don't really re-watch movies anyway. What was the best movie you’ve ever seen in theaters? Idk. Have you ever eaten with both fork and spoon, at the same time? I don't believe so. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? I always do when I'm able to. I like to know exactly when it happens. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yeah. Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? Ashley's legally blind in one eye, I believe her right. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? I've never been confined to one. Does weed smell good? Or no? Nooooo no no. Have you ever regretted letting someone go? Megan. Well, did I really "let her go," idk. How long was your longest make out? Like, all night on/off. Who made you laugh last? JackSepticEye. I'm watching like, every YTuber I like play the demo of the RE2 remaster. HYPE for that game. Never played the original, so seeing it new and realistic as hell will be nice, plus I'm a hoe for Leon. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Was the way Jason treated me after the break-up justified, idk. Which is harder, walking away from somebody you love or coming back to somebody who has hurt you? Walking away. What’s one question you hate being asked? Thankfully no one who doesn't need to know asks, but don't ask for my weight please. Did you make a wish on 11-11-11 at 11:11? No. Has anything exciting been going on in your life? Ha ha. What’s the last question you’ve been asked? (Not counting the survey.) Uhhhhhhh. Something from Mom, idr. Do you know any neat card tricks? No. Have you ever had a dream of someone you know harming you? Dad, in a lot before and a long time after the divorce, and I actually had another recently where I woke up and screamed. Idk why I had it, considering my dad and I are good. Do you have nice legs? I absolutely hate my legs. Do you collect postcards? I don't even go anywhere to, my friend. What kind of flooring does your house accommodate? Wood, carpet, and tile. Do you look good in shorts? I WOULDN'T DARE WEAR SHORTS. I hate my legs, remember??? Do your parents ever try to tell you what or what not to wear? Sometimes when we go out to certain places, Mom claims whatever I'm wearing isn't "formal (enough)," but I sincerely don't care in most cases. Have you ever held a tarantula? Yes, a rose-haired female. She was cool. <3 Do you have a dog tag necklace? No. Has a boyfriend’s brother ever hit on you? No. Who would you pick if you had to pick a celebrity (female) to kiss? In a case where we're both single, uhhhh, fuck. Maybe Suzy Hanson because goddamn she is a goddess inside and out I stan a queen. Now what about male? Same rules as above, be fuckin' prepared Fischfuck, he gettin' more than a kiss lads 'n lassies. Do you enjoy folk music? No. Does it make you nervous when you see people throw their children in the air to catch ‘em? To a degree. Do you own a locket? No. Have you ever seen a manatee in person? (they’re adorable) No. Mom swam with them a looooong time back, before she had me or my sisters I think, and I am ENVIOUS. Does anyone get your hand-me-downs? Not anymore. Does your mom still give you an Easter basket on Easter? She didn't last year for I believe the first time. What kind of dressing would you like on your salad? Inject the Olive Garden dressing into my veins. Have you ever stolen anything without intent? (walking out of the store with something in your hand, etc…)? I don't believe so. Are you good at Sudoku? I haven't played that in years. I used to be. Have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship just because it was easier than ending things? No. If you were diagnosed with a genetic disorder, would you still have biological children despite risking passing the disorder on to them? I don't want kids, but hypothetically, I guess it would depend on the disorder. What's the longest song you know all the words to? Ohhh not sure. I could look on my iPod, but don't feel like it. What is the greatest source of anxiety for you? My totally stagnant life. What's something you could endlessly rant about? Ha, so much... At this current time, probably the cancer that is the anti-vaxxer community. What's something you could passionately talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, and Silent Hill. Do your parents still live in the same house they raised you in? No. Do you know anyone who got pregnant as a teen and dumped the baby on their parents to raise? Probably. What would you do if your own teenaged child did that? Again, don't want 'em, but I'll be hypothetical. I would be fucking irate, and quite honestly, I'd probably end up putting it up for adoption if her ass tried that. Maybe my answer would be different if I actually had a daughter and thus the connection to her own child, but idk. It's hard to answer this question when you don't want kids. What's a place you have a strong emotional connection to? My hometown. We essentially never drive past it, but seeing my childhood home gives me this nostalgic-as-fuck feeling. What is something that you feel you are destined for? I don't believe in destiny. If you could form only one thing with your mind whenever you wanted, what would it be and why? Money, for obvious reasons. If you could control any form of liquid, which one would you want to control and why? (liquid water, frozen water, mist, blood, sap, etc) Blood would of course be coolest, but uh. Liquid water would probably be most useful. If you could have the power of any animal (you don’t transform into the animal, just obtain its abilities), what animal would you pick? A bird, I guess. Would you be willing to merge/fuse with someone else if you got cool powers to go along with it? No.

[parkersenses]

When You’re Not Looking

Fandom: Marvel Ship: Peter Parker x Reader Requested: Yes (Peter Parker x reader where they hate each other but Peter talks to her when he finds her crying one day? Maybe about her having depression? Thanks 💜) Genre: Angst-ish Warnings: Depression, Suicide kinda hinted at, Crying A/N: I kind of drew ideas for this from my own experience with mental illness, so I hope it doesn't offend anyone or come off as inappropriate. A/N #2: Reader uses female pronouns and is a pyrokinetic

When Mr. Stark recruits a new teenager to the team, Peter doesn’t know how he feels about it. He thinks it’ll be cool having someone his age to work with, but then again, he was used to being Mr. Stark’s “star pupil”. What would happen now with someone new?

He was driving to the new Avengers building that he could never get used to with a random driver in the front. He was invited by Mr. Stark—more like forced, but he didn’t mind—to meet this new recruit. He was nervous but excited, not knowing what to expect. Mr. Stark didn’t give him much information, besides the fact that they were around his age. 

When they finally arrived, Peter got out of the car and breathed out a heavy breath of air. He was led inside by the driver because he still seemed to get so lost in the building, even after visiting multiple times. They arrived at a room he was familiar with, the training room. The driver opened the door for him and closed it behind him after Peter entered.

He was met with a strange sight. Tony stood on one end of the room in his Iron Man suit, and on the opposite end was a young-looking girl. She looked nice enough to Peter, a cold expression on her face that made her seem a bit intimidating. He was about to step onto the mat when her hands lit up in flames, and he gasped, stumbling back.

“Woah!” He yelled, backing up until he was almost pressed up against the door. 

The girl was you, and your eyebrows immediately furrowed when you heard a boy’s voice interrupt you as you were finally getting to where you wanted to be. Your head snapped to the right where Peter was standing, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Is this spider bite?” You asked, looking back at Tony to see him stepping out of the suit. 

“Why yes it is,” he said, a proud look on his face. Tony walked over to Peter, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Peter grinned nervously in response. On the inside, he was spitefully thinking, ‘Spider bite? Really?’

“Parker, this is (Y/N),” Tony said, motioning to you in front of him. You stuck your hand out for Peter to shake, but he simply stared at it. That same hand had just been on fire a few minutes prior. He wasn’t going to be touching it anytime soon. After a few moments of silence and him not moving, you slowly retracted your hand and moved it behind your back. 

“Anyways,” Tony said, breaking the awkward silence. “(Y/N) is gonna start training with us here. She’s got a room now- your room, actually.”

Peter’s head snapped up to look at Tony. “My room? Why my room?”

“You didn’t want it, remember?” He said, smirking lightly at Peter. You stared blankly as the two interacted.

“Yeah, but-” 

“No buts, Parker. It’s her room now. As you can see, she’s a pyrokinetic; she can form fire with her hands out of nothing, throw it around a little, all those fun things. She’s also trained in martial arts. I’m gonna need you to show her the ropes.”

“The ropes?” Both you and Peter asked simultaneously, but neither of you strayed your stares from Tony.

“Yes, the ropes. She’s gonna be going to your school, so-”

“My school?” Peter asked, bewildered. First his room, now his school? This seemed like too much for a recruit who had just arrived.

“Yes, Parker, your school. You feeling okay today? You seem to be asking a lot of questions- more than usual, and that’s saying something.”

Peter subtly pouted. Mr. Stark hadn’t been this condescending to him in a while. “You’re gonna have to show her around, show her how to be student by day and superhero by night. You know the gist.” Tony turned around towards the door, but Peter stopped him by speaking.

“How am I supposed to show her around if she’s living here?”

Tony looked at him as if he was stupid, and, if Peter was being honest, he hadn’t felt this unintelligent in a while. “There’re these things called cars, Parker. Look ‘em up,” he said, turning around and opening the door.

“Oh, and,” he added. You and Peter both looked at him expectantly. “A little fun fact,” he smiled wickedly. “She’s a few months younger than you. She’s officially bumped you out of the ‘youngest recruit’ spot,” and he turned around, swinging the door shut behind him.

Peter’s face dropped as the door slammed in his face. He was being replaced. He could feel it.

He didn’t take another look at you before opening the door and shutting it behind him himself.

“She’s completely replacing me, Ned! Mr. Stark totally did this on purpose,” Peter groaned to his best friend as they made their way through the crowded school hallways. They were walking towards the office where you were waiting for him to come “pick you up”, according to Tony’s words.

“Maybe he just wanted another person to train,” Ned shrugged, trying to reason with Peter.

“But it doesn’t make any sense! She gets my room-”

“It’s not your room if you don’t stay there.”

“And then my spot as the youngest recruit,” Peter continued on, ignoring Ned’s words. “And now my school! Like, she is just getting in the way of everything.”

They turned the corner to the office, and as Ned was about to respond, they heard a voice say,

“Hey, guys.”

Both their heads snapped towards where you stood in front of the office doors, and Peter’s eyes widened, knowing you had just heard his latest comment. The silence ensued until Ned took matters into his own hands and stuck out his hand.

“I’m Ned,” he said with a wide smile. You shook his hand and gave him a small smile, and you could see Peter staring blatantly as yours and Ned’s hands touched. When you let go, he let out a big breath.

“Let’s just go,” Peter muttered, turning around and expecting you to follow him. When Ned turned around to walk next to him, you followed behind the two of them, your smile immediately falling off of your face. “What’s your schedule?”

“Tony said it was the same as yours,” you replied and noticed Peter’s hands instantly form into fists. You looked away.

“Of course,” he said under his breath. You didn’t think you were supposed to hear him. You heard him. You followed them to their class and you were about to sit next to Peter until he pulled the chair away from you. “That’s Ned’s seat.”

You rolled your eyes, annoyed with his blatant dislike of you. “Fine,” you smirked, moving to stand right next to Peter. You stood over him, and he looked up at you confusedly. You shoved him from the chair, and you were thankful the room was empty so you wouldn’t get in trouble on your first day of school. You laughed when he let out a yelp, and you sat down on the stool he previously sat on. He caught himself on his hands and stood up swiftly. 

“Get out of my seat,” he said, eyebrows furrowed and fists clenched.

“Hm, no,” you replied, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

Ned stood back, watching the whole interaction with wide eyes. He watched as Peter looked down at the ground angrily before moving to sit behind you, and he watched as you turned your head to face the desk, smirk wiped from your face and instead replaced with a solemn look and a bitten lip.

“Mr. Stark, c’mon, this is completely unreasonable,” Peter laughed nervously, darting his eyes between his mentor and the wall. He didn’t look anywhere near where you were seated across the room.

“It’s not unreasonable. (Y/N) needs to be out in a real-life situation where she can use her abilities and learn how to help them grow. Tonight is the night, Parker. Don’t let her leave your sight,” Tony responded, standing from his chair and readying himself to leave the room.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” you said, looking at Tony expectantly as he looked back at you. Peter kept his gaze trained on the table.

“I know that. But Parker does,” Peter’s head snapped up to look at Tony, an angry expression on his face.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Come on, kid. You should be used to my jokes by now,” Tony said, one eyebrow raised on his forehead as he walked past Peter and clapped him on the shoulder. 

“I can’t do my job well if I have to be watching her instead of the bad guys,” Peter replied, and Tony looked at him blankly. You stayed silent.

“Learn how to multitask, then,” were Tony’s last words before leaving the room.

“You better not mess this up,” Peter finally looked at you for the first time that day, and you tilted your head at him.

“I wasn’t planning on it. You, on the other hand,” you paused, dramatically sighing and shaking your head before standing from your chair and walking to the door. “I can’t be so sure.”

And you walked out of the room, leaving Peter alone with his thoughts. As you walked down the hallways you had since gotten used to after sleepless nights spent memorizing them, your confident expression fell from your face. You let your shoulders sag and your head tilt closer to the floor so now one could see your face, covered by your hair.

You let out a shaky breath as you made your way to your bedroom, or, as it had now been ingrained into your head Peter’s bedroom. You needed a long nap; you didn’t think you ever wanted to wake up from it.

“Where have you been?” Peter yelled at you as soon as he saw your figure arrive on the rooftop he had texted you to meet at. He was clad in his Spiderman suit, and you were in your special fireproof suit that Tony had made for you.

“Sorry, I overslept,” you replied, not adding any wit. You were too tired for that. 

“Overslept?” Peter yelped, throwing his arms out to gesture to the view around you. “The city is counting on us!”

You looked to where he motioned to, and you knew the landscape was beautiful. You just couldn’t seem to find the energy in yourself to appreciate it.

“Calm down, spider bite,” you muttered, walking up to the edge of the building and preparing to jump. Tony added a flying feature to the suit, and you had yet to try it out yet. You figured this was a good a time as any. “Let’s go,” you said, and you jumped. You heard him yell from above you, but you payed no mind to him as you ordered the artificial intelligence to release the wings. You began to float in seconds when you felt a large rush of air from behind you, and you laughed as you hooked your arms in the loops Tony left for you to guide yourself with. 

You flew back up to the rooftop shakily, setting yourself down on the ground, and you realized Peter is no longer there until a few seconds later when he swings in front of you.

“What are you doing?!” He shrieked, ripping his mask off of his face to stare wide-eyed at you. “You could’ve died.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t,” you shrugged and commanded the wings to retreat again. They disappeared instantly.

“You can’t just go risking your life like that! That’s not how this works!”

“Sounds a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” You said, raising your own mask form your face to stare back at him.

He remained silent.

“I can’t wait until I don’t have to babysit you anymore,” he muttered, sliding his mask back on. You did the same so he couldn’t see the hurt etched across your face.

“Ditto,” you forced out, turning away from him. “Let’s just get this night over with. i don’t want to spend more time in your company than I have to.”

You heard Peter scoff, but it echoed in the air as you jumped off of the building again. Your wings released and you began to float again, but you almost wondered what would have happened if the wings hadn’t released.

Peter noticed you were especially quiet today at school. You looked tired with bags under your eyes and your sluggish walking. Your hair was frizzy and you kept your eyes trained on the ground, not looking up even when Peter tried to bicker with you.

“Why are you so quiet today?” He finally asked after your third class together. He figured you still needed his guidance around the halls, and it was the only reason he was still walking with you. Really. That’s the only reason why, he insisted to himself. 

“Just tired,” you replied, voice so soft that Peter was sure he wouldn't have been able to hear you without his enhanced hearing.

“Well, uh,” he stumbled over his words, not used to you giving in to him so easily. “You better get that sorted out. You can’t be like this when we go on missions.”

You simply nodded. “Got it,” you said, just as soft. You didn’t turn to look at him, keeping your eyes on the ground still.

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed, but he kept silent the rest of the way to the classroom.

It’d been three weeks, and you were still acting quiet. Peter would try to start fights with you, try to instigate you in any way, waiting for the (Y/N) he knew to bark back at him as much as he did to you. But it never happened.

You would act normal if Tony was around, but otherwise, you stayed silent. You only replied with words if it was necessary, mostly sticking to nods and shakes of your head. Even when you did speak, it was in short, soft phrases that left Peter waiting for more.

“I don’t know where she is, Mr. Stark! I’ve looked everywhere!” Peter now exclaimed over the phone as he ran through the Avengers building, not knowing where else to look for you. You seemed to have run away, and he didn’t know what to do. He called out for you, yelled your name into multiple rooms and hallways, but he wasn’t sure if you would have even responded if you heard him. So he looked through every small space and every big space, and he had practically searched the whole building.

And he still couldn’t find you.

Tony was not being any help. At all. “I’m telling you she’s still there. I would have known if she left. Just keep looking,” he replied calmly.

“I’m telling you I’ve looked everywhere,” Peter said, and he was sure this is the most forward he’s ever been with his mentor. But he didn’t care. At this point, he was getting aggravated.

“Did you try the roof?” 

The silence left in response answered Tony’s question. 

“Check the roof,” he said, and then hung up.

Peter groaned and sighed at the same time, making his way to the elevator to take him to the top floor of the building. He waited impatiently even though the ride up took mere seconds. The elevator doors opened to a staircase, and he followed them, finding a set of doors at the top. He rushed through them, shouting your name as he made his way onto the roof.

The sight in front of him made him freeze. You were curled into the corner, leaning back against the short concrete wall bordering the rooftop. Your head was buried into your hands, but Peter could make out sobs. You were shaking violently. Peter didn’t know what to do.

He slowly and quietly made his way towards you; you didn’t seem to notice he was there until he was only a foot away from you and said your name softly. Your head whipped upwards in shock. Peter’s eyebrows furrowed when he saw your face, swollen and red and tears running down your face.

“Please leave,” your voice cracked when you spoke, and you rested your head back onto your knees so he wouldn't see your face any longer. “Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, sitting down next to you and leaning back against the wall. He put an arm around your shoulders, letting you lean into him for comfort. You may not have been his favorite person on Earth, but he knew what it felt like to be so low, to feel like you’d never dig your way out of the hole you’re stuck in. 

You continued to sob. Peter watched you and rubbed your back until your breathing sounded even again. It took a while, but he sat there patiently comforting you, not caring about how long it would take.

“Sorry,” you muttered, eyes still wet, but no longer feeling so overwhelmed by everything. You wiped at your nose and cheeks, hiding your face from Peter still as you kept it tucked into his chest. He continued to rub your back, and you were surprised he didn’t pull away immediately after you stopped sobbing. You weren’t sure you had ever witnessed him being this kind until now.

“Don’t be sorry,” he replied softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You chuckled bitterly, dropping your hands into your lap and staring absentmindedly. “That’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time,” Peter said, surprising you. 

So you told him your story. You rambled on and on about how your parents had abandoned you when they discovered your powers five years ago, how you felt like you didn’t belong anywhere, so you put up a cold front to keep people from getting close to you. But you never liked to fight. You never liked to be rude to people, you confessed to him, but it was an automatic defense mechanism that always made people think you were a bitch.

“You’re not a bitch,” he added in at this point. “At least, not really,” he joked, and when you laughed brightly and he could feel the vibration of it in his chest, he smiled in response.

You told him how you’d find yourself being sad more often than not, and not having the motivation to do anything. Because what was the point? 

And then Tony came into your life last year. He took you in, broke you out of your automatic habit of being rude to anyone who even looked your way, and he cared for you. That was the most important. 

He helped you control your powers and he taught you how you could use them for helping instead of destructing. But still, you were sad. You had no motivation. You just wanted to stay in bed all day and sleep, but when you tried to, sleep would never come. So you’d walk around by yourself. That was when you’d find the loneliness creep in.

But even if you were in a crowded room of people, you said to him, you would never feel more alone than at that moment.

It was silent for a few minutes after you had finished speaking. His arm was still around your shoulders and your head still rested on his chest. His chin was on top of your head, leaning against it. It was a nice moment. 

Peter found himself enjoying your presence, and you with his.

“I think,” he said, breaking the silence, but with a quiet voice. “Maybe Tony could get you some help. Or if you don’t want him knowing, then I can research some people. Maybe they can, I don’t know, make you feel better isn’t the right way of saying it. Help you?”

A warm feeling began to form in your chest. Maybe it was joy that someone other than Tony was showing you compassion, or the fact that it was Peter—the boy who had been so hostile to you these past few months that you had known him for; but to be fair, you weren’t so nice to him either.

“I’m just tired of being so sad all the time,” you whispered in response, worried that your voice would crack if you spoke any louder.

Peter stayed silent, rubbing your back again to comfort you some more, almost as though he could feel that you needed it. 

And as the two of you stayed on the roof the rest of the night, watching the sky fade into different colors as the sun set, with your head still resting on his chest, you knew you had made a new friend today in Peter Parker. 

And you were glad.

***************************** Alright, I’m not really sure how I’m feeling about this one, so please let me know if you guys thought it was okay. Also, if you’d like to be added to a forever tag list, then let me know! Requests are open :)

~e

Tag List: @quokkatrash​ @avengersgirllorianna​ @gdmora​ @sachiparker​ @chocolatekittys​ @thumper-darling​ @deans-angel-of-thursdays​Tag List: @quokkatrash​ @avengersgirllorianna​ @gdmora​ @sachiparker​ @chocolatekittys​ @thumper-darling​ @deans-angel-of-thursdays​

[voluntarix]

“So,” Eiran says, curling against Vadimir’s ribs. He shifts obligingly; she can feel him smile, she thinks, in the way she watches his pulse beat blood across his hands. She's known him long enough to mark the right correlations there, specific ways his body lights up—he blushes, down to the fingertips—when he smiles, triggered very easily. She considers making fun of him for it, but leaves that for another time.

Instead, she says, “I know your sister.”

He laughs through his lips. “I think I noticed.”

“Yeah,” she says, creeping toward the point quietly. Smiling, too, whether or not he’s got the same kind of tell on her. She wonders if he’s stopped reading—he was—it’s none of her business unless he asks her to stop talking accordingly, it’s just interesting. “And I’ve known her since before I graduated.”

His fingers curl at the edge of her vision, but lazily; at work it would presage violence, but most things at work do. “Yeah. She even has mostly good things to say about you despite the fact.”

Eiran lets that one go. He’s kind of right. She was… extremely young to be where she was, relatively speaking; other people get stopped, no one stopped her, and maybe it would’ve done her good to have the experience, but obviously it’s too late for that now. “You were my first real contact when I got home. So. Was that a coincidence?”

“It’d be a hell of a coincidence,” he says mildly, which is a no, but a fun-to-chase one that he’s offering. Eiran considers reminding him that both of them are off work—are on tithe, even, having managed by sheer, actual coincidence to—

Probably not actual coincidence, come to think. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about the labors of administration.

At any rate, she decides against reminding him that both of them are off work. It’s not like this isn’t, in fact, what both of them do for fun, that’s kind of the thing.

“Everything to know that it was one should’ve been on file,” Eiran says. “She’s one of the only people I kept in contact with the whole time out there, and then I come home and meet you. Doesn’t that seem like it should go against normal vetting?”

His fingertips light up again. She smiles, considers kissing his hand. “Anyone can do objective filtering from a distance,” he says.

“Maybe for Corregimiento,” she says, goes hard into mockery so he knows she’s not serious: “Vigilancia has to actually *look* for—”

“Vigilancia watch strangers,” he says, equally condescending back. “We’ve got something different.”

“Laziness?”

“Friends,” he says quietly.

Eiran’s body temperature drops slightly, but she knows he knows that; even in the unlikely event that by result of that they’re having a conversation he’s not looking, he knows what that means to her. She doesn’t know how he does it. “I don’t know how you do it,” she tells him, for lack of anything better to do.

She feels him shrug.

“So they sent you to me to go make friends?” She considers, belatedly, asking if it’s actually because they were prioritizing her status as a suspected voluntarix that highly, given how rare Vadimir is there. But she doesn’t want the answer right now. She’s asking about herself, sure, but she doesn’t want to talk about herself, she wants to talk shop. She wants to talk shop and make fun of him for how he runs his and ease back into the habit of living with him. That’s all.

“It would be one hell of a coincidence,” he repeats. “People like coincidences. It puts them at ease. It makes the world small enough to handle. The world’s too big for… anyone. And we’re here to help.”

“Coincidences make me suspicious,” Eiran mutters, mostly to be contrary.

“We’re in the same vocation,” he says back.

“Excuse me, I—”

“Surveillance and cohesion, Eiran, fucking Will, I know that you’re glad you’re you—”

She butts at his rib cage with her forehead, lightly. “Not like that.”

“Right.” Vadimir breathes in. “Sorry. Right.”

“The jokes are okay?”

“The jokes are okay,” he says. “I just need to know when you’re joking.”

“I’m always joking,” she says. “I’m only not joking about the fact that I’m happy where I am.”

She feels some tension go out of him, and then she feels guilty for not having noticed that it didn’t have to be there. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

“So, we’re the same kind of person doing the same kind of thing in opposite directions,” she prompts gently, on principle.

“Is that how you want to put it?”

“Vadimir,” she says, the guilt hitting the height of her collarbones that she’s overly used to other people right now, that she has to recalibrate to the subtlety with which he shows discomfort at all, “Vadimir, you’re fine, I like needling you because I like you. The way you phrased it is fine. I know we both wear white.” She kicks out one leg demonstratively. Eiran is not a particularly imaginative dresser.

“Okay,” he says again.

“Are you?”

He pauses for a while. “I’m fine,” he says. “I’m sorry. I’m… on guard. A lot. Inappropriately.”

She scoffs, and then immediately has to hope he does know it’s supportive scoffing. “You’re on guard as appropriately as you know how and have it validated at almost every turn. I’ve been dealing with a bunch of—well, you know.”

“What happened to not insulting the honored Eye?”

Yes! There! Okay! “Stow it,” she says, beaming.

“No.” There’s caution in his voice, a little.

“Okay.”

He breathes out deeper again. “Most people like coincidences,” he says. “You work in a wider sphere of human existence than most people so your… threat assessments, they’re different. You think a lower bound of unlikelihood is worthy of investigation. But there’s plenty of things that you take in stride anyway and some of them could be—the point is that they’re there, not who put them there or that you find them natural. You’d still rather have a world of a manageable size; it’s just the definition of manageable that varies.”

“So it was convenient because you of the infinite accuracy—”

“Hey!” he says, halfway to a laugh.

“I like needling you because I like you!”

“That doesn’t negate my emotional investment in my institution’s honor,” Vadimir says, but rapid and part of the way to a laugh still. “It just means I’m stuck between that and emotional investment in you!”

“You romantic,” Eiran says, and headbutts him more lightly this time.

“That’s me,” he says.

She considers overexamining that, then remembers she was in the middle of a sentence and opts for it instead. “It was convenient, because the assessment was that I would find you more trustworthy?”

“And I had external information about you,” he says quietly, “and am relatively good at seeing past any positive affect produced by such information when I have to.”

“You had spoilers.”

That finally gets the laugh out. “I had spoilers.”

“Your sister knows?”

He shrugs with one shoulder. “Ought to.”

“So you never told her that’s what you were—”

“She didn’t ask,” Vadimir says.

Eiran thinks for a moment. “Can I tell her?”

“Do you want to?” Vadimir asks, then, slightly faster, “What would you tell her?”

“You’re right,” Eiran says.

“No, I’m asking,” he says. “Do you want to tell her? What do you want to tell her?”

“I don’t know,” Eiran says, without much thought. “I don’t know how much she hears about your work.”

Vadimir shrugs.

“Fair,” she says. “I don't know if she’d be uncomfortable. It wouldn’t be particularly productive to make her uncomfortable. It’s just the first thing I thought of.”

She just barely feels him nod.

“Coincidence is that important to the Corregimiento?” Eiran asks, trying for level ground, more effective than an apology.

“People should be able to live in a world they’re comfortable with, all allowing,” Vadimir says. “And the real world is… very large. Unsustainably large. Sustaining it together depends on—”

“Being together,” Eiran says, thinking of her work.

“On people having something that they can hold and feel comfortable holding. That they want and want to defend. That they can conceptualize and that they want to conceptualize,” Vadimir says, which is in fact much more his. “As much for me as for anyone else. I’m just comfortable with my world including managing that actively.”

“And I…?”

She feels the angle of his head and shoulders change, but she’s not sure what to. Studying her, maybe, though all he’s got is… what? The curve of her shoulder, the rest of her body; the top of her head, maybe the tip of her nose. Whatever information he gets from that he seems content with. “Passively, I think. Or I wouldn’t have told you.”

Eiran bites her lip, and then thinks. “Fair enough,” she says.

Vadimir is silent. It sounds like a long, conscious pause. Presumably it is one, because he hesitates more when he says, “Did I misjudge you?”

“No,” Eiran says, “It’s better to know. But did you misjudge me?”

“The Corregimiento or me?”

Eiran nods.

“If the Corregimento had misjudged you we’d already be acting accordingly,” Vadimir says, and stifles a yawn. “And of course I’m glad I met you. I’m also—” The yawn has caught up with him. “Shit.”

“That bored with this conversation?”

Damn it, she misjudged again—trivially, but in contrast to the conversation it is—something, that she did, that she can hear it in the urgency of his voice, so she only lets him get out the “N—”

“Joking. Joking. Sorry.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I need to recalibrate.”

“Hey,” Vadimir says, and his arm comes up around her. “It’s been a while.”

“I missed you,” she says quietly.

“I missed you,” he says, at a normal volume. “I am now missing sleep.”

“Okay, okay,” Eiran says. “Less coincidences, more sleep.”

“That’s the spirit,” Vadimir tries to say, although another yawn catches him in the attempt anyway. “Fuck.”

“If I go to bed will you stop cursing yourself for yawning?”

“Depends. If you get sleep will you stop stressing out about having acclimated to talking to the people you spend time with and having to get used to the barrier of entry for me getting metaphorical speech instead and convincing yourself that it’s justifiable caution and not anxiety?”

Eiran pushes herself away from him and stands up so that she can say to his face, “It is completely fucking unfair that you didn’t get interrupted there.”

Vadimir yawns. “Worth it.”

“Voluntad you are *impossible*,” she says, voice harsher now that she’s sure he’s got a full view of her smile, “come be impossible in a bed.”

His mouth quirks up to the side. “So you harbor no residual dread of—”

“*Impossible in a bed*,” Eiran repeats. “I’m going.”

“It was my idea to be tired!” Vadimir protests, apparently on principle, since he’s getting up anyway but is stymied by getting caught in his half-discarded jacket. “Damn it.”

“Yeah, okay, so come be ti—”

He sorts his sleeve out and snickers.

Eiran puts a hand over the remainder of the yawn that interrupted her. “Oh, fuck off,” she says, duly reassured. They’re okay.

She’s going to have a lot to think about with regards to coincidences, but…

“Coincidence is suspicious if you’re watching,” she says, brushing his arm with her shoulder once they’re in motion, not quite enough that he stumbles. “We find it suspicious. It’s a sign of something out of place.”

“I put things in their place,” Vadimir says.

“I know,” Eiran says. “I know.”

[jlinwriting]

My 2017 Year in Review, as told by Anxiety Cell and Co.

A comedy inspired by Donggeon Lee’s webtoon comic “Yumi’s Cells.”

                                                      CHARACTERS

(in the order of appearance) 

Anxiety Cell

Compassion Cell

Levelheaded Cell

Contemplative Cell

Anger Cell

                                                       ACT I 

FADE IN: 

We see Anxiety Cell peering out behind the stage curtain, looking over the dark room in the general direction of the audience.  

Anxiety Cell bites their nails nervously while continuing to look out into the dark room. 

[The camera zooms in on Anxiety Cell’s ragged nails, but zooms back out when Anxiety Cell puts their hands up in protest.]

                                                 ANXIETY CELL

                      (speaking increasingly fast and spiraling into full ramble                                         mode)

                       Why are we writing this again? What if no one likes it?                                           Do we think we’re so interesting that someone would                                             read about us? Do we--

Enter Compassion Cell, who walks up slightly behind and to the side of Anxiety Cell. We sense Compassion Cell is deliberately leaving some space between the two so as not to heighten Anxiety Cell’s feelings. 

                                              COMPASSION CELL

(contemplates whether it would help to place a comforting hand on Anxiety Cell’s shoulder, then thinks better of it; takes a deep breath before speaking up) 

                    Breathe. It’s going to be okay. Your fears are valid, but                                          it’s also valid to note that some people will like it and                                              others won’t. That’s valid too. Either way, I’ll be here. 

                                                  ANXIETY CELL   

                    Okay (calmer), but promise (urgently) you’ll remind our                                          reader that we haven’t written a screenplay since the sixth                                    grade! Sixth grade! That was a million years ago-- well, not                                  a literal million-- you know what I mean. Unless you don’t                                      know what I mean. Do you get what I’m saying? Am I                                            making any sense? Shit. I mean shoot. I mean-- Am I being                                  confusing again?    

Anxiety Cell trails off, worried they’re overdoing it again

RESPONSIBILITY CELL marches in from stage left almost if on cue, with purpose, not hurrying, but not walking leisurely either    

                                                 LEVELHEADED CELL 

                     Hey guys. Don’t mean to be rude, but we’ve gotta go.                                           Hup two. Let’s go.                                               

Responsibility Cell promptly marches back off stage without checking to see if the other cells are following. Compassion cell follows Anxiety Cell off stage, feeling protective. 

                                            LIGHTS DIM AND THE CURTAIN BEGINS TO RISE

                                                         ACT II 

                                                                                                     CURTAIN RISES

A single, warm yellow-white beam lights up the center front stage. We see everyone seated in identical chairs. Levelheaded Cell sits apart from the others, facing Contemplative Cell, Anxiety Cell & Compassion Cell, as if on a talk show.                  

                                              LEVELHEADED CELL 

                     (Crosses their legs and takes a sip from their cup of                                               organic, non-GMO, fair-trade tea from the local                                                     farmer’s market)  

                      Let’s start from the beginning, from January onward.                                              Linear and organized. Contemplative Cell, go first. 

                                               CONTEMPLATIVE CELL   

                           Well, what do you mean by go first? Technically                                                     you went first since you were the first one to talk                                                   and at the beginning of the act, to boot.                  

The audience notices Levelheaded Cell’s face twitch indiscernibly, but the apathy in their eyes tells them Levelheaded Cell isn’t actually bothered. In fact, they stay silent.

                                          CONTEMPLATIVE CELL (cont’d) 

                                                (shrugs with one shoulder) 

                            Well, anyway. The first thing I remember about the                                                year is Ian. Remember him? He was kind of cute, I                                                guess. We spent... how many months was it-- maybe                                            like three months kind of talking to him. That was...                                                embarrassing. It’s so weird: he never wanted to hook                                            up and--- 

                                                      ANXIETY CELL 

                                             (bursts out and interrupts) 

                            Jeez. You don’t have to tell them everything! So                                                    what if he rejected us for Dungeons and Dragons.                                                  We don’t have to explain anything to anyone!

                            (slightly out of breath from the strain of the sudden                                                outburst) 

                                                CONTEMPLATIVE CELL 

                                                           (patiently) 

                            I wasn’t going to mention that part, but I guess you                                                just did. Honestly (musing with a light pause), it’s not                                            like he rejected us. You just expected him to drop his                                            plans for you at a whim. That’s not really fair, you know.                                        Honestly, I can’t even say if I really liked him or not. I--                                          we-- never really gave ourselves the chance to know him.                                    I guess we can write it off as a learning experience. 

                                                    LEVELHEADED CELL  

                                  (in a teacher-ly, but not condescending voice) 

                            You know the audience is totally lost, right? You didn’t                                            really explain anything.  

                                               CONTEMPLATIVE CELL

                            Oh. Really? Well, you know me. I get lost in my                                                      thoughts sometimes. 

(Enter Anger Cell. They are dressed from head to toe in pure black, the color they tend to wear when they’re seething or moping. Their dress is dotted at the bottom with little red pom poms though, which makes them drastically less imposing. In fact, it’s kind of cute. The scowl on Anger Cell’s face only makes them more endearing.) 

                                                   ANGER CELL 

                                        Sometimes? Try always. 

                        (crosses arms reflexively, unintentionally showing                                                  how vulnerable they feel) 

Everyone raises their heads to look up at Anger Cell’s loud and unexpected arrival. 

                                                LEVELHEADED CELL

                                 (raises their hand in a friendly gesture) 

                        Hey Anger Cell. What’s up? You’re not due on stage                                              for a while.  

TO BE CONTINUED                     

(SPOILERS BELOW)    

                                                LEVELHEADED CELL

                                                (in a matter-of-fact tone)                       

                        Didn’t you know? Maudlin Cell, Anxiety Cell, and                                                    Anger Cell are triplets. 

                                                                                                    FADE OUT

                                                                                                 ACT V

(The light softly increases to reveal Compassion Cell and Anxiety Cell sitting across from each other at a small, circular blue table. Upon a closer look, it seems like they’re drinking tea together. Anxiety Cell, of course, is drinking Chamomile. Nothing new there.) 

                                               COMPASSION CELL

                                              Hey, Anxiety Cell?

                                               ANXIETY CELL: Yeah?

                                              COMPASSION CELL

                           I know you worry about worrying too much. But                                                     you know you’re a major reason we’re still alive,                                                     right?  

                                                 ANXIETY CELL 

                                                     (quietly) 

                                                       Yeah. 

                                            COMPASSION CELL

                                                (smiling gently) 

                           Basically, what I’m trying to say is Thanks. So...                                                     thanks. 

                                                ANXIETY CELL 

                           (Anxiety Cell raises their head, and behind their                                                     soft-brown colored bangs, we finally see their                                                         amethyst eyes for the first time. Their clear, bright                                                 eyes shine happily, brighter than any expression                                                   their shy lips could summon.) 

                                                      Any time. 

                                                           FIN