#anyway help please i’m stupid

[pillsburydoughboysupreme]

guys i’m being a nerd again and im making a conlang (maybe) based off the way too much thinking i did for my orc character in dnd. i haven’t played dnd in months but that’s beside the point.

the point is i want More Sounds. so i started looking at the international phonetic alphabet. but alas i am stupid and half of them sound identical.

[cable-salamdr]

Roby would listen to minecraft songs (and cry at Fallen Kingdom every time) and Wyldfyre to Nightcore (her favorites are My Demons and Toxic Thoughts). Both would listen to these unironically. Send tweet

[boos-gh0st]

Guys please I love drawing ISAT but how the FUCK DO I DRAW SIFFRINS CLOAK IN DIFFERENT POSES IM GOING INSANE IT NEVER LOOKS RIGHT

[loveshickk]

[incandescent-creativity]

If you’re ever thinking about your friends, message them saying that.

[mars-ipan]

there’s a lot of reasons to dislike internet discourse but i think my main reason is that it is genuinely completely ineffective like 99% of the time

[icterid-rubus]

I left my purse at the restaurant and my classmate had to drive me back and he said he didn’t mind because we could spend more time together and I wanted to say I agreed but I’m so socially stunted that I could only dumbly titter

[lattesqueeze]

Last Line Challenge

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or however many you like)

Thank you for the tag bestie @twinkodium 🫶🏻

I’m not tagging anyone cause I swear everyone and their dog has done this challenge now, but PLEASE accept my open tag if you haven’t!!

(This made me revisit my wip that I keep refusing to touch and actually maybe I do wanna finish it lol)

Oscar, apparently, was growing impatient with Lando spending so much time on what was quite possibly the deepest, longest kiss in history.

[bravevolunteer-a]

i just know michael is simultaneously so annoying and Incredibly Dismissive whenever he's sick

[jorvikzelda]

I have never before wanted to actually be rude to customer service people but good fucking God

Keep having to remind myself that it’s PROBABLY NOT THEIR FAULT and they’re probably just operating under very strict guidelines on what they’re allowed/supposed to say but also holy fucking shit read the previous emails I’ve sent before responding and stop talking to me like I’m a child/stupid/haven’t tried literally everything already????? Work WITH me here not AGAINST me like I thought the whole point was to like. Help the Customer. Idk. like Solve Their Problem? You know?

[vampiresluvr]

today at work a guy (probably in his late 30s, early 40s) was checking out and when it came time for me to put his stuff in a bag he held it open for me which 99% of customers don’t do and I kept thanking him and one time he said “you got it” which made me blush profusely which I’m pretty sure his kids picked up on but oh well

[holymistake]

i wish being slightly mean online felt as good to me as it does to you guys :((

You know what blows my mind is when you meet someone who literally does not eat vegetables. #scurvy

[teaboot]

Sorry if I'm mixing you up with someone else, but you've worked security before, right?

If you're willing, I'd be really interested on your thoughts on the murderbot diaries or murderbot as a character with that in mind?

Like did you recognise aspects of your job in murderbots descriptions of security work? Or did they like throw you out of immersion in the story?

Anyway thanks and hope you're having a good day/evening wherever you are!

As a security guard who has read the first two Murderbot books, Murderbot has been the number one most realistic security specialist character I have ever seen in media so far 😭

The third most annoying thing in security in my experience is handling threats. The second most annoying thing is having no threats to handle and being bored. The number one most annoying thing is the client being an idiot

Ihave social anxiety which I am medicated for. When I am in uniform with clear instructions, that anxiety is zero. I have a script and a set of rules and that makes life easy. I’m super good at performing tasks with clear expectations and that’s kinda how I keep getting good offers, it’s super straightforward

Bad clients are clients who give stupid, inefficient, counterproductive, cruel, or flat-out illegal orders. There are ways of shutting that shit down without them losing heir shit, but it’s still a pain in the ass every time

I’m a security specialist. I specialize in security. This is what I am trained for- handling crisis situations and minimizing harm. If you, an off-shift cashier at pet smart, see me deescalating a situation and decide you’re gonna drop your untrained uninformed ass in there with zero context or skills and “help” because I look small and helpless, then all you’re doing is increasing my likelihood of getting hurt while increasing my paperwork load by like two hours, and I’m gonna hate you the entire time. What you have essentially done is promoted me to meat shield while giving the aggressor I’m calming down an obnoxious and aggravating hostage. Good god please do not

Yes, I am sometimes asked to stand perfectly still in a corner for several hours like a mannequin. What do I do to avoid going insane? Think about Star Trek and the very good fanfiction I’ll be reading on my break, mostly

Yes I can assist in evacuating tw location in the event of an environmental disaster. No I cannot tell my waiter that they put cilantro on the wrong order. Yes this makes perfect sense

I love Murderbot. I love how realistic it is. Like obviously I can’t speak for everyone in the industry but yeah I’ve worked for absolute dogshit security companies in the past and yeah a lot of the books so far are super accurate to that experience so A+ so far, honestly

[yurizq]

hear me out... megumi letting reader get off by grinding on his abs.

ෆ It started at breakfast.

You’d worn those stupid soft shorts—the ones that barely counted as fabric—and Megumi had already looked pissed about it before you even spoke.

You leaned against the counter, chewing on toast. "You know," you said casually, glancing at his shirtless torso as he poured cereal, "you should let me ride your abs sometime."

He didn’t flinch. Didn’t look up.

You grinned anyway. “Like… properly. Just grind on them ‘til I cum. I bet they’re perfect for it.”

Now that got a reaction. A tight jaw. A sharp exhale through his nose. But he still didn’t give you the satisfaction of a reply. So you kept pushing.

By lunch, you’d asked twice more. At one point, laying across the couch in your tiny tank top, you groaned into your arm with a dramatic sigh:

“I just know I’d cum so fast if you let me… you’re so mean for keeping them to yourself.”

Megumi scoffed under his breath but never answered.

You tried one more time—while he was reading in bed, his long fingers turning pages like he hadn’t been fighting a hard-on all afternoon from all your whining.

“Please?” you whispered, climbing beside him. “You won’t even have to do anything. Just lay back and let me use you.”

He didn’t look at you.

But he did close the book.

With an audible snap.

Then came the sharp exhale through his teeth.

“…You’re so fucking annoying.”

You smiled innocently, knowing you’d won.

Megumi tossed the book on the nightstand, leaned back against the headboard, and reached behind his neck to peel off his black t-shirt in one slow, controlled motion.

And then he said it.

“Get on.”

Your grin was unbearable. You straddled his hips eagerly, already dragging your soaked panties across the warm skin of his abdomen.

Megumi didn’t move.

Didn’t touch you.

Didn’t help.

He just lay there—muscles tense, jaw clenched, like this was some horrible punishment he was enduring for your sake.

"Fuck, you're even better up close," you whispered, breath catching as you rocked your hips once, twice, dragging your aching clit along the ridges of his abs.

“Shut up,” he muttered.

You giggled, grinding a little harder. “You don’t even know what you’re doing to me—‘Gumi, it’s so good—”

His hands shot up to grip your thighs, squeezing just hard enough to make you still.

“You’re disgusting,” he muttered again. “Completely fucking deranged.”

But he still guided your hips.

And you still whimpered when the slick fabric of your panties caught on the groove between his abs and slid right over your swollen clit.

“Oh my God,” you moaned, collapsing forward onto your hands. “Just like that—don’t stop—”

“Wasn’t planning to move,” he muttered. “You said you’d do the work. Remember?”

You could barely answer. You were too busy grinding down on his bare torso, soaking him, making a mess with every roll of your hips. You were panting, wild-eyed, rocking back and forth like he was your own personal sex toy.

And he just laid there and took it.

Arms folded behind his head. Lips parted slightly. Brow furrowed, trying not to show how hard he was getting from not even being inside you.

“You’re fucking soaked,” he growled after a minute, his abs twitching under the friction. “You like this that much?”

You nodded desperately, crying out each time you passed over a ridge that pressed just right.

“Say it,” he demanded, voice rougher now. “Tell me you like using me like this.”

“F-Fuck—‘Gumi—feels so good, I can’t—I’m gonna cum—!”

He growled and gripped your hips tighter, dragging you hard across his stomach. “Say it, or I’ll stop.”

You sobbed, eyes rolling. “I love it—I love using you—your abs feel s-so good, please—please let me cum, ‘Gumi—”

He let out a sharp breath, voice cracking, “Cum, then. Be as fucking messy as you want.”

And you did.

You broke apart—hips jerking forward, clit throbbing, body convulsing as you soaked your panties and his abs beneath them. You collapsed against his chest, twitching, dizzy from how hard you came.

You stayed there for a second. Breathing heavy. Eyes fluttering.

Then…

“…Megumi?”

“What.” His voice was flat, but his hand was stroking slow up and down your spine.

You lifted your head, lips flushed and glossy. “Can I go again?”

His head dropped back to the pillows, mouth open in disbelief.

“You’re unbelievable.”

But he didn’t say no.

[shidoglazer]

When f!reader gives their bestfriend consent if they want to practice somnophillia, and when they both had a sleepover, she woke up to him rutting inside her! , needy!bllk boys? Could you write for kaiser, sae, shidou, ness, and yk anyone ya wanna add. Oh and bonus points if it's hybrid!bllk boys. Imagine waking up to them breeding reader! Sorry if it's too weird or ya don't wanna do it, thanks if you do it! :3

did you just? . .

needy!bllk boys multi-charac drabble somnophillia breeding

ft: kaiser , sae , shidou , ness

＠shidoglazer

MICHAEL KAISER

- when you proposed the idea of somnophillia during your sleepover at his place, he literally scoffed into your face. there’s no way he had such little willpower that he’d fuck you in your sleep! what’s so good about that, anyways? at least, that’s what he thought.

- when it was time for bed, you didn’t wait for kaiser before immediately falling asleep under the sheets you were basically drowning in. you were exhausted anyways. as he walked into the room and saw your petite body being covered by such a big blanket.. “i’ve never had much willpower anyways.” he thought to himself

- he slowly made his way to the bed, bending down to observe your sleeping face before slowly taking off the blankets, shifting your body so now your knee-below was hanging off the bed. his hands wandered around your thighs before tugging at the waistband of your shorts and panties, taking them both off in one go, discarding them to the side. he looked up to check if you were still sleeping, and you were. it was so wrong that he was enjoying this.

- he got onto his knees and spread your thighs apart, hands circling your inner thighs as his lips went onto your slit, licking and sucking onto your clit gently before trailing down to your hole, plunging his tongue into it, groaning. he savoured the taste of your pussy for some time more before pulling away, hurriedly taking off his boxers to let go of them boner that was tenting in his pants

- he rubbed his tip onto your slit, how were you so wet despite being asleep? he bent down to your level, elbows supporting him as he whispered to you, even if you weren’t able to hear it. “just the tip, liebling. okay?” he placed a kiss on your forehead before lining himself up, pushing in gently and stopping at the tip.

- eventually, he knew himself it wasn’t going to be just the tip, because now he was pounding his whole cock into you while stroking your hair soothingly to make sure you stayed asleep. it was nice that you were whimpering softly on his cock despite being unconscious, he found it so hot. “stupid slut, f’cken take it all.” he rutted into you deeply, groaning at the side of your ear as you stirred awake slowly, looking at the sight beneath you.

- “…kaiser?” “mm. want a bath?” “yes please.”

ITOSHI SAE

- when you proposed the idea during the sleepover, he didn’t say anything except a “hm.” with the usual cold face he had. but trust me, he was internally freaking out about how compliant you’d be if he fucked you while you were asleep ..

- when it was bedtime, you fell asleep wrapped in his arms quickly. your body was completely limp under him, and it’d be a lie if he said it didn’t turn him on. he found himself disgusting, yet he couldn’t help the growing boner in his pants. i mean, it’s fine right? you said it was fine, so its fine! he was trying so hard to justify his own actions ..

- he held your head close to his chest with one hand while the other tugged off your shorts and panties, placing a kiss onto your head as he took off his own boxers, bringing up your leg so it was resting on his waist, being spread out for him. he placed another kiss onto your head, nuzzling into it. “i’m sorry, sweet girl.”

- he held onto your waist to keep you steady, slowly putting it all in as he groaned, biting his lower lip to refrain from making any sounds that would wake you up. when all of him was in you, he stroked your face with his fingers lovingly. “g’na fuck you nice and deep, all for your stupid little hole.” he started moving slowly, being completely gentle with your body to not accidentally hurt you or wake you up. then his pace started getting faster, the squelching noises were louder than anything in the room right now, just how was your pussy so tight when you’re knocked out?

- “haaah.. gonna cum, stupid slut. you gonna let me cum in you nice and deep? good fucking girl.” he held onto your hips, thrusting a few more times before shooting his cum into you, his head throwing back. he moaned gently at the sensations before immediately snapping back when he heard your voice call out to him.

- “..sae.?” “sorry. stay here, i’ll clean you up.” “wait,” before you could reply, sae pulled out of you, earning a small gasp as he walked over to the bathroom to grab a wet towel for you.

SHIDOU RYUSEI

- oh he will never let this go. as soon as you proposed it to him, he was grinning like an idiot, pulling you closer to him by the hip and looking at you dead in the eye. “100% serious? you’re not gonna be mad or like, upset if i do it?” you nodded in response, earning a giggle from him.

- he had more self control than you thought, because even when you were trying to tease him by staying up until late so he wouldn’t be able to get what he wants, he stayed up just as late with you at the corner of the room painting a masterpiece. eventually, you gave up trying to fight with him and just went to bed.

- as he realised you were asleep, he put down everything at hand and jumped into bed, laying on his stomach while his legs kicked up and down, watching you sleep peacefully before slowly taking off the blanket inch by inch, then your panties. he experimentally put one finger into your hole, feeling your gummy walls clench around him as a natural reaction. “whatta whore.”

- he got up and took off his boxers, not being able to hide his growing boner anymore. he put your legs onto either of his shoulders, lining himself up with you as he shoved the whole thing into you in one swift motion, stretching you out intensely as he was basically whimpering, “so- damn tight, fuckin hell..”

- his pace was ruthless, pounding into you as your whole body was limp. you were absolutely knocked out from exhaustion anyways from staying up so late, so it’d made sense why you were so deep into sleep. nevertheless, it was impossible for someone to sleep through all this.

- as he came closer to his orgasm, his pace started to hurry, causing you to stir awake to see the sight of him pounding into you while hovering over your body. when your mind processed what was going on, you clutched onto the sheets and threw your head back, “f-fuck,, haah, mnngh, ryu! how long have you been doing this?!” “mnng, dunno, sweet girl. why? you gonna cum soon?” and you knew you couldn’t deny his words.

- as he rutted into your stomach, your orgasm came too, everything washing over you like a wave of pleasure as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, body squirming under his. he pulled out slowly, letting all the juices leak out of you.

- “sooo.. one more round?” “absolutely.. not..” you said between laboured breaths, panting.

NESS ALEXIS

- he was like a teenage boy seeing boobs for the first time when you proposed it to him. stuttering, face going red, stumbling over everything… “w-wait, what? are you sure? is it, is it not gonna like hurt??? nonono, i think its better if you-“ you immediately shut him up with a kiss, shaking your head.

- during bedtime, he coaxed you to sleep quite easily while you were in his arms from how gentle his touches were and how tender his voice was. he couldn’t deny that it did turn him on, the idea of using your hole freely without any shame ..

- now, he was basically a whimpering mess as he fucked you from behind, whispering apologies in between his breathy moans as he held onto your waist tightly, burying his face into your shoulder. “feels so good! nggghh, i’m sorry baby, i’m so sorry, couldn’t help it,,”

- his pace quickened when he felt the familiar coil in him, his hold on you tightening as he shot loads of cum into you, moaning as tears pricked into his eyes. he himself wasn’t sure if it was from the guilt or from the overstimulation. either way, he flinched when you started shifting and stirring awake, quickly pulling out of your hole as you turned your head around to look at him.

- “..did you just?-“ “i’m sorry princess.. i’m so sorry,, i’ll run you a bath.” and without another word, hes rushing to the bathroom to start preparing your bath. you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips

★ check out my masterlist!

[mangooes]

The Case of the Missing Anniversary Ring

(Name) had never panicked so hard in her life.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD.” She frantically tore through their bedroom, flipping pillows, tossing blankets, crawling under the bed—nothing.

Her anniversary ring was gone.

The ring Sylus gave her.

The one he had designed himself, made with black and crimson gemstones, infused with a small piece of his Evol so it would always stay warm against her skin.

And she lost it.

“I’M A TERRIBLE WIFE.” She groaned, flopping onto the floor, gripping her head. “I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve love. I should just exile myself.”

Staryus, their husky, watched from the corner, tilting his head at her dramatics.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sylus walked into the room only to find absolute destruction.

Blankets on the floor. Closet doors wide open. Drawers overturned. And his wife, face-planted into the carpet, sobbing.

He blinked. “…Kitten?”

She sniffled, whipping her head up. Her eyes were red, glossy, and filled with pure distress.

Sylus’s heart immediately clenched. “What’s wrong? Who do I need to kill?”

“I—” she hiccupped, “I lost my ring.”

Sylus stilled. “…Ring?”

She held up her bare finger, her lower lip trembling. “I lost my anniversary ring. The one you gave me. I—I don’t know how, but it’s gone.”

Her voice cracked at the end. Tears welled up in her big, shiny eyes again.

And Sylus?

Oh, Sylus had never been so weak in his entire life.

He sighed, crouching beside her, cupping her tear-streaked face. “Sweetie, it’s okay. It’s just a ring.”

“No, it’s NOT,” she wailed, sniffing and rubbing her nose against his chest. “You gave it to me, and now I LOST it. I should be banned from jewelry FOREVER.”

Sylus bit back a chuckle.

God, she was so cute when she was crying over him.

He stroked her hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You’re adorable when you’re dramatic, you know that?”

She hiccupped, glaring at him. “I’M SERIOUS.”

Sylus chuckled, wiping her tears with his thumb. “I know, I know. But I also know that ring wouldn’t leave you so easily. We’ll find it.”

“But what if—”

Before she could spiral again, Mephisto, swooped into the room, dropping something into Sylus’s palm.

A familiar black-and-crimson ring.

Sylus grinned. “Told you.”

She stared at the ring. Then at Sylus. Then back at the ring.

“…WHERE WAS IT?”

Sylus tilted his head. “According to Mephisto, under the couch in the main hall.”

She froze.

Then slowly covered her face. “…Oh my god.”

Sylus raised an amused brow. “Something you wanna confess?”

She groaned. “I—I was midnight snacking there last night. I must’ve taken it off and—OH MY GOD, I LOST MY RING BECAUSE OF A BAG OF CHIPS.”

Sylus grinned, twirling the ring between his fingers. “That’s a very ‘you’ reason to lose something so precious, sweetie.”

“Can you please not, I'm so embarrased.”

Still smirking, he took her hand and slipped the ring back onto her finger, kissing the back of her hand.

“There. All is right in the world again.”

She pouted. “You’re not mad?”

Sylus arched a brow. “Mad? Kitten, you were crying over losing my gift. If anything, I’m very flattered.”

She scoffed, wiping the last of her tears. “…I feel stupid.”

Sylus grinned, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. “You’re adorable.”

His wife, still flustered, mumbled into his chest. “…I’ll never take it off again.”

Sylus chuckled, holding her closer. “Good. But if you do, don’t worry—I’ll always find you, and I’ll always find it.”

I feel like i need to include mephisto even more on my fics, i love this lil birdie, such a queen omg, anyways ITS 11 MORE DAYS TILL MY BABY BOY'S BDAY!! SAKJDNASKJDAS JESUS HELP ME