#anyway i feel like these gifs are a bit too fast lol sorry i was messing around with the settings on my gif maker

[livinginshambles]

I want to be loved first | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.0k

Summary: Established relationship and angst: James still loves Lily, it's clear to you. You try to ignore the way your heart aches when you always seem to be second on his mind, knowing you will never compare to her and unsure how much more you can take.

Notes: Its happy ending again, sorry guys. I'd say no beta, we die like fred, but that feels too soon so anyway, spelling and grammar mistakes probably.

Masterlist

____________________________

People have often told you that you need to toughen up and grow a spine. That your lack of backbone had everyone trample on you like you were a crosswalk, and you could definitely say that they were right.

Perhaps that's why you were crying in the middle of the night because of James Potter. He was laying behind you, pressed against your back with an arm draped over you. His face was hidden in the back of your neck, breathing steadily against it as he slept peacefully, unaware of the heartache he was causing you when he whispered Lily's name. Again.

When he'd done it the first time, your blood had run cold, goosebumps showing up and littering your bare arms. Tears had prickled in your eyes at his barely audible, mumbled confession. "Love you so much Lily."

You had turned around to face him and your rustling had woken him up. Eyes still closed, he'd groggily shifted and pulled you against his chest. “Everything alright, love?”

“Yeah, just a nightmare,” you had responded in a small voice. Your answer had him finally open his eyes, somewhat concerned. He had lifted his arm to yawn against it and then settled it back on top of you in such a way that his hand had easy access to your nape, drawing circles in an attempt to calm you.

“I've got you, love. Nothing can hurt you, as long as I'm here,” he had assured you.

Ironic.

So now here you were lying down, your tears were freely rolling down your face and you were glad that the curtains of the bed were closed, leaving you in a private space, despite sleeping in the boy’s dormitory. It would be another sleepless night for you, it seemed.

When James stretched his arms to reach for you about four hours later, he frowned and sat up, confused at the lack of your presence. He pushed the red drapes aside and peeked into the room. Sirius was still asleep, face down. Peter was most likely curled up inside the pile of blankets on his bed and Remus was sitting up in bed, a book in his lap.

Even though it was the weekend, and you were anything but an early bird, you slipped out of bed in the early morning. You were sure that your eyes were red and puffy and didn’t want James to mention it.

He looked up when he heard James and raised his eyebrows in question when he noticed no one else behind him. “Have you seen Y/N?” James asked, sleep still heavily laced in his voice. Remus shook his head in thought. “No,” he whispered quietly, an eye on Sirius beside him. “I’ve been up since four in the morning though.”

James’ frown deepened. That meant that you had snuck out before that. But why? He got dressed impressively fast and descended the stairs to the common room. You were sitting at the tip of your chair, deeply engrossed into your transfiguration assignment, several books piled, some laying open, scattered across the small table.

You felt two arms securely wrap around you, almost melting in their designated position. “Morning,” James kissed your cheek.

You bit your lip, took a breath, and cast your hurt feelings aside. You turned your head and flashed him a smile. “Good morning, Jamie.” James took the opportunity of your head, tilted upwards at him, and dipped down to press his lips softly against yours, pecking you once, twice. “You’re up early,” he commented and nudged you. He slipped behind you, body fully relaxing into your back now.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you replied honestly and you leaned back into him. You laughed softly when you noticed his eyes drooping. “You’re tired, Jamie. Go back to sleep.” James made a sound but didn’t move, instead slouching even more against you.

“Hm, no, I missed you this morning. I’ll stay here,” he decided and drifted off to sleep. You didn’t doubt that he loved you.

“Go on a date with me next Friday,” James asked you while he was escorting you to your herbology class. You looked up at him surprised. “A date?” you dumbly repeated, trying not to be too excited about the prospect of a date. James usually ended up having things to do that he really couldn't get out of, so you would always end up canceling your dates.

James laughed and slung his arm around your shoulders. “Exactly. You and me alone. I was thinking of a picnic by the lake, no one else around, and maybe we could snog, but I’m also down to cuddle.” Your eyes crinkled up amusedly. “Don’t you have Quidditch, Jamie,” you raised your eyebrows. “You always have Quidditch practice after class,” you pointed out.

“Not next Friday. I already checked to make sure I didn't double book anything, and I warned Pads that I'm not taking on any new pranks until next week to avoid detention.” he grinned. “Friday will be one of those rare days when I have time to have my girl all to myself the entire afternoon.” His face then turned apologetic. “I know I don’t have much time to take you out, so Friday'll be perfect and I’ll make it up to you.” You threw your arms around his neck and hummed appreciatively in it. “I’d love that.”

James wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a kiss. “Prongs!” Sirius shouted from a distance. “Everyone is already waiting for you for Quidditch practice, how far are you going to escort her? I mean the greenhouse is on the other side of Hogwarts, mate,” Sirius complained but he blew you a dramatic kiss that James waved away with a sour look.

“Go on,” you laughed and untangled yourself from his arms. He quickly pressed a kiss to your lips and sprinted off towards the Quidditch field.

James dropped into the seat next to you. “Long time no see, love,” he said. You snorted. “James, I saw you two hours ago.” James shrugged, and flirtily smiled. “I said what I said.”

Professor McGonagall entered the classroom and class started. You were jotting down everything she said in a neat handwriting, knowing that James would end up asking to lend your notes, of course by offering kisses in return.

You glanced beside you and were surprised to find him hunched over his notebook, scribbling away. Impressed at the thought that he was actually paying attention, you couldn’t help but peer down at his notes and saw that he was sketching a girl.

Though he wasn’t the greatest artist, you could clearly see that the girl on the paper looked nothing like you, and instead had features that were strikingly similar to Lily. When James looked up from his drawing and glanced to his right where she was sitting, her eyes focused on Professor McGonagall, you felt your heart constrict again, but still decided not to comment on it. He was free to draw whoever he felt like drawing, you reminded yourself.

Jealousy is ugly.

You were sitting in the library, helping a third year with Defense against the dark arts theory, when James barged in, earning several disturbed looks and a threatening glare from the librarian.

“James?” you called to him quietly and motioned for him. James’ eyes spotted you and he slid over to you, wringing his hands together, biting his lips and his eyes darting around.

“You’re nervous,” You remarked while you eyed him up and down. “Or you feel bad. What is it?”

James let out a deep sigh at your bluntness, though he supposed it would be better to get straight to the point. “We can’t go on a date next week, I’ve got prefect stuff, gotta patrol.” You stared at him, your disappointment was visible on your face and James looked at the ground.

“But you already had patrol this week? Isn’t it every other week?” You asked, a bummed out look on your face.

“Well, actually, Lily asked me if I could do rounds with her next week,” he admitted. “Her usual assigned partner was injured during Quidditch practice apparently.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what to say. You were pretty sure she could ask anyone else for next week or just do the rounds herself as you’ve seen James do it alone for two weeks too when his assigned partner had gone home for a family emergency.

“Is it really vital that you have to go?” You couldn’t help but ask.

"I already said yes." James offered an apologetic smile. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. We can go on a date the week after.” There was a pause and then, “Actually that’ll probably have to wait for the week after that.”

'Imagine having to schedule a simple date, three to four weeks in advance and even then not being guaranteed that nothing would come in between,' you sighed.

You shrugged, a sudden wave of defeat and exhaustion crashing over you. Why did you have to compete for your boyfriend in the first place? 'How tiring', you realized.

You waved him away. “It can’t be helped, I guess,” you somewhat coldly told him, and turned back to the student next to you who was awkwardly looking away. James stood next to you in silence for a moment, still looking at you. You looked up at the lack of the sound of receding footsteps and looked at him questioningly, waving your hand in a ‘what is it?’ manner.

“I can tell her no,” James said, something that looked like a pout on his face. He hated making you feel bad, despite constantly but unconsciously doing it.

“You don’t want to tell her no,” you retorted.

"I would for you.”

“Well, considering that you haven’t told her no by now and are instead here telling me that we have to rearrange our plans, I think you should just go help Lily with rounds.”

James was taken aback by your bitter tone, eyes immediately wide, alarmed that you were really affected by his decision. “Love, I-“

You waved your hand again. “No, I’m sorry,” you apologized before he could. You rubbed your eyes in an exhausted manner. Jealousy was not a good look, you reminded yourself again. “Just really looked forward to that picnic with just you and me.”

“We’ll still have that picnic another time though,” James tried to assure you, but you were no longer looking at him. He realized that the conversation was over and that you wanted to be left alone right now.

“I love you,” James tried one last time and you sighed. " I love you more.” Your words resonated even after James left, knowing that they might be more true than you wanted to admit. You cleared your throat and when you faced the girl next to you, she shot you a sympathetic look.

The last drop was during Potions class. Potions was something you were good at. Maybe not better than Severus Snape, but you did excel in it.

So, if there was one class in which you expected James to want to be your partner, it was Potions class. Perhaps it was arrogant of you to assume such a thing, because when Professor Slughorn had announced that everyone would be paired up, and asked James who he wanted to partner up with, you hadn't expected him to glance at Lily first, which resulted in Professor Slughorn pairing the two together before James could say your name, which in his defense, was what he was planning on saying.

Without sparing you a glace, he left your table to take the seat next to Lily's. Sure, it was mostly a miscommunication issue on Slughorn's part, but did James have to skip over so happily?

“Love you so much, Lily.”

The words repeated in your head when you saw him look at her so fondly and before you could stop yourself, you scribbled a message on a piece of paper, in which you asked him to meet you in the tower, before sending it his way.

You had clung onto James because you were absolutely in love with him and refused to lose him. But it really was a futile battle, you would never compare to her. His first crush, first love, first kiss if you count that one time during ‘spin the bottle’ and his first heartbreak. You’ll always be second, even if he genuinely loves you.

James snapped his head up at you from his attempted conversation with Lily when he got your note, suddenly remembering you, but you were laughing, engrossed in a conversation with a flustered Peter who had almost set the two of you on fire by adding the wrong ingredient. When you left class, you saw James and Lily still talking while calmly packing up.

James entered the tower, holding the note that you had passed him during class. He was smiling cheekily and quickly skipped over, arms ready to wrap around your waist as he leaned in for a kiss, no doubt thinking you asked him to sneak away for a snog.

“We need to talk,” you stopped him, and his grin fell from his face, a serious expression now adorning it. “Everything alright love?” he asked, an odd feeling growing inside of him at your tone. He was suddenly rather unsure if he really wanted to.

'Nothing better than to rip the band aid off', you thought.

“I want to break up.”

There was a long moment of silence while James was registering your words, repeating them in his head over and over again to see if there was any chance that he could have interpreted that incorrectly.

“What?” He eventually said out loud in disbelief. Though he wanted to step forward, reach for you and hold you tightly as if to show that he wouldn’t let you go, his body was inwilling to move.

“Why are y-, I thought we were good?” The crack in his voice didn’t go unnoticed by you. Your heart ached for him, but you were determined to stay strong and say your piece for once. To voice your thoughts and go through with tough decisions that you knew would be for the better.

“We’re not, James,” you sighed. “I know that you know that.”

James shook his head in denial. “No, I don’t know that,” he insisted. His brain was racking through all the instances where he did something wrong and - with the exception of next Friday's date - came up blank.

“But you love me,” he stated, mostly to himself, but it came out more of a question. “Of course,” you confirmed without hesitation.

James’ body finally unfroze, and he surged forward, his hands fumbled to hold your hands. “And I love you,” he stressed, panic starting to rise up. “I love you so much, I’ll take a Veritaserum potion if you want. I just, why would you-, I don’t understand the problem-,”

“I know you love me, James. The problem is that I love you so much more,” you calmly interrupted him. James’ eyes scanned your face to look for answers because none of it maded sense to him.

“I want someone who loves me as much as I love him. Someone who gives me all his love, not just a part that he managed to set apart for me too. And I want to be loved first. Not second. I don't want to be a consolation prize because your first option didn't work out.”

James’ eyes flickered in realization, but his head was still shaking in denial. “I am that someone,” he urged, trying to convince you. He shot you a pleading look. “I love you first, I swear.” He pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, and you pulled it away from his grasp.

“Not first,” you shook your head sadly. “Not when you call for Lily in your sleep, and whisper that you love her.” You watch as James’ frown deepened, mixed expressions crossing his face in surprise, confusion and even bewilderment.

Would he not even admit it?

“Not when you have us rearrange our plans for her, when you draw portraits of her during class, or when you practically jump to be her potions partner. I'm not stupid, James. I see the way you look at her.” You continued to list off the things that happened just this past week, not even bothering to mention all the things that bothered you the past months. Your eyes looked sad and tired, and you took another deep breath. “So, I want to break up.”

James felt like crying, his mind thinking back to everything you said, and knowing that you were right. “I’m sorry,” he tried. “I’m an absolute twat, I know that. I promise you I don’t love Lily, she’s just still very important to me.” You offered him a sympathetic smile.

“I know she’s important to you, I just think that maybe you don’t know what or who you want. And I won’t share my boyfriend anymore, I’m selfish like that,” You joked halfheartedly. James didn’t react, save for wrapping his arms around you. You allowed James to embrace you and he buried his head in your hair, his eyes closed as if he wanted to go to sleep and forget this was happening.

“Okay,” James whispered. What else was he supposed to say?

You closed yours as well. James would get over you in no time, you were certain. You two hadn’t been dating for that long, and perhaps James could find a happy ending in Lily after all.

James had sort of avoided you after that. You thought he was doing it because he was angry, but in reality, he was just scared that he would burst into tears the moment he saw you, and he refused to watch you laugh happily, swatting your friend while he wanted nothing more than to hold your hand again.

His mind had completely become occupied by you and he stayed in bed over the weekend, mostly wallowing in self-pity and misery.

When Monday started, he had skipped all classes and only dragged himself out of bed for Quidditch practice and patrol with Lily. Walking next to her in silence, occasionally glancing at her, he felt his stomach sink again. How ironic that when he looked at Lily, all he could think about was you.

James walked through the corridor on Friday, on his way to the courtyard to meet up with Lily again to do rounds with her. He hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully without you. At first, he had been thinking about every instance where he prioritized Lily over you, and it had him curse himself out in his pillow. He missed you. It was so ridiculous, but he missed you to the point that he would curl up in bed with a stomach ache.

He had finally drifted off when at some point in the middle of the night, he had been shaken awake by Sirius.

“What?” James had asked, his throat dry and raspy. He’d looked around, disoriented.

“Thought you were having a nightmare Prongs. You kept mumbling her name. How much you loved her,” Sirius had handed James a glass of water.

James became wide awake and sat up straight in panic. “Lily?” He had asked Sirius, his stomach turning with nausea. He still couldn’t believe that he really talked about Lily in his sleep when you were lying next to him.

“What? No, Y/N’s name of course.” Sirius had corrected him. 'Of course,' James shook his head at Sirius’ words. “Figured you were reliving your breakup,” Sirius had explained.

James was looking through the passing windows of the castle where he could see the lake in the far distance. Suddenly something in his brain clicked. What in Godrick's name was he doing, avoiding you? Why was he giving up on you without a fight? You both loved each other; he was just the idiot who couldn’t sort himself out. But it didn’t take him longer than a terrible week to open his eyes.

James’ pace increased and he ran through the corridor. “No running in the corridors young man,” a portrait commented, but he paid it no mind.

Lily was already waiting for him and raised her eyebrows at his disheveled state and the basket that he was carrying. “I can’t do rounds with you today,” he puffed out. “I told Y/N that I would take her out for a picnic and then you asked me if I could help, and I agreed, but it’s so stupid because I should be-, I am choosing her,” James ranted. “I’m not letting you come first, or even second.”

Lily wasn’t really sure what James was rambling on about but gave him a kind smile, nonetheless. “Well, what are you waiting for,” she encouraged him. “Sounds to me like you shouldn’t be here, but somewhere else.”

“Yeah, I definitely should.”

You sat by the lake, skipping stones from a sitting position, not that you were having any luck. You hadn't seen James in a while because he avoided you, and you felt sadness wash over you. You were sure that he would get over you quick enough, but you wondered how long would it take for you to get over him?

You heard rustling behind you but kept facing forward. It was only when a delicious smell reached you, that you turned around, slightly annoyed that someone would really choose this spot to have an afternoon meal at when they could’ve sat literally anywhere else near the lake, as well as choose this moment when you wanted to act like a depressed main protagonist gazing in the distance.

You were, however, not prepared to see James stand behind you, out of breath and making his way over to you, a blanket and food spread out behind him. He didn’t really need to say anything. You understood from the way he showed up here, a hopeful expression on his face.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you got up, dusting yourself off.

"Hi," James breathed. An unsure smile formed on his face when you waved back. "I uh, I brought food." He awkwardly motioned to the picnic behind him and you couldn't help but smile at his adorableness.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else,” you couldn’t help but lightheartedly remark. James let out an airy chuckle, immediately relaxing at your open demeanor.

“100% sure I’m where I should be,” he affirmed. He considered his words and corrected himself. "Where I want to be."

His words had you take off in a sprint towards him and James opened his arms to catch you when you jumped, locking your legs around him. Ironically enough, it felt as if a weight had fallen off of James. His head fell against your shoulder and he shakily laughed while your blouse stained with tears of relief.

"I'm really sorry," he looked up at you, still holding you steadily. You leaned down to press your forehead against his, and your hands came up to his cheeks. "You made up your mind," you said, but it came out like a question, and James nodded hastily.

"And you'll make it up to me."

"Of course," he earnestly replied. "I want us. I'll fight for us." You closed the gap between the two of you.

“I love you,” he whispered breathlessly against your lips.

Not first or second, not more, most or less. He just loves you.

Taglist:

@elsie-bells @charlie-weasley-is-underrated @dreamingofmarauders @moonyslibrary98 @wildernessflora @hollandweather @queerqueenlynn @locklyebrainrot @thisrandombitch @grac3aph3lion @earfquak3 @venomsvl @shrekscrustybudassy @middle-of-the-earth @sirene-noir @bettytaylorversion @littlepoisonmushroom @faumpje @iloveutwice @katelebate @moonysupremacy01 @marina468 @fangirl-kimora @bellesowl @badasswlthafatass @sjprongs @armydrcamers @its-a-ittle-bit-cold @ireallywannasleep127 @sayukoi @jsjcue @cashtons-wife @idllyastuff @severegiantjudgefriend @ivy-34 @wolfmoonmusic

[dantakeyoman]

Neteyam Has Something Important To Tell You As You Patch Him Up (SFW)

Reader is Fem! Omaticaya

CW: fluff, Neteyam is smooth asf, little bit of blood, Neteyam is a simp, Mo’at is an awesome wing-woman, Utral Aymokriyä is where Jake and Neytiri mated

“Be sure that mushroom is ground well, (y/n). We will need it when the hunting party return,” Mo’at instructed, implying the bioluminescent fungi that sat next to you.

You nodded firmly, placing the plant into something that was the earthly equivalent of a mortar and pestle, and promptly starting your work.

You loved your job as a healer, and took it very seriously. Even more so since, recently, Mo’at has been giving you lessons in perfecting your craft.

The right way to turn your wrist when grinding ingredients, how one’s blood can tell their origins, better methods to connect with Eywa.

Because of her, you have become 10x the better healer than you were before, and you were beyond thankful.

Throughout your childhood, you had dreamed of becoming a healer and helping your people. But once you met a certain Sully, who was next in line for Olo’eyktan, that dream slightly warped throughout the years.

Of course you still wanted to heal your people, there was no doubt about that. But instead of being a healer, you wanted to be the healer.

His healer.

“Not too much, (y/n). You don’t want the paste to be too thin,” Mo’at calmly reminded, keeping her eyes on her own grinding.

You snapped yourself out of it, slightly embarrassed that you let yourself become so lost in thought.

“Sorry,” you apologized, quickly putting the bowl down.

“Is there something on your mind, child?” she asked, a slight smirk on her face.

Just by your flustered face, she could tell what you were thinking about. 

Or rather, who.

She wasn’t blind to how you looked at Neteyam, or how Neteyam looked at you. She had known about your feelings for each other since you were children. 

And since her grandson was fast approaching the age where he would become Olo’eyktan, she figured refining your healing abilities would improve your candidacy for Tsahik.

Not like anyone else held a candle to you in Neteyam’s eyes anyway.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I am just-.” You suddenly remembered why you had busied yourself with medicine-making in the first place.

“Nervous for the hunting party,” you told a hafl-truth, sighing as you picked up the next mushroom, dropping it in the bowl.

Jake was letting Neteyam lead the hunting party for the first time.

And to say you were nervous was an understatement.

“He will be fine. His father taught him well. And he has a fine healer waiting for him at home,” she knowingly smiled, pouring this small satchel of powder into her bowl.

You blushed, focusing back to your bowl at the woman’s implications.

Surely you hadn’t made it that obvious.

And by the grace of Eywa, the familiar scent of the man you love ( he had completed Iknimaya a while ago ) filled the healing room.

“Grandmother! (y/n)! You must come and see what we have brought back. You will never believe it’s size!” Neteyam exclaimed as he quickly opened the tent flaps, his voice beaming with happiness

You quietly laughed to yourself at his excited manner, feeling foolish for ever being worried in the first place.

You giddily turned around, only to be met with his proud, bloody-faced smile.

“Neteyam!” you worriedly gasped, frantically getting up an rushing over to him.

He had large scratches on his cheek, and one big slash on his chest, all of which left large stains of blood on his skin.

You quickly, and carefully, held his face in your hands, ignoring his insisting that he was fine as you turned it to see if there was any more damage. 

“Are you alright? Does it hurt?”

Neteyam smiled to himself, stupidly, relishing in the feeling of your soft hands on his face.

He could feel himself heating up just by your closeness. And by this distance, he could see every beautiful feature on your face perfectly.

“Why are you smiling? This is serious! Please, sit down,” you ordered, taking your hands from his face and grabbing his forearm, walking him in the middle of the room and sitting him down.

Mo’at smiled, carefully placing her bowl on the floor and standing up. “I shall give you two a moment.”

And with that, she walked out the room, but not without shooting you a wink before closing the flaps.

You sighed, grabbing the bowl she put down and sitting in front of Neteyam.

“It does not hurt as bad as you think. Truly,” he smiled, your fussing over him making something stir inside his stomach.

“Well pain or not, I must put this on your wounds so they may heal properly,” you dismissed, scooping up a small glob of paste with your two fingers.

When you looked back up at him, you realized that you were too far away. In order for this medicine to work, it must be rubbed in well.

Neteyam looked at you, confused, as you took a deep breath, quickly sitting yourself in his lap, practically straddling him.

His breath hitched.

He had never had his crush sit on top of him before. Hell, you had never even been this close to him before.

Every part of him that was touching you was now heating up by the second, so much so that he’d thought he’d burn.

But looking at your face, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world, like you had done this a million times before.

“I’m sorry, but I have to rub this in correctly,” you apologized, beginning to massage the paste into the cuts on his face.

“I have no complaints,” he smiled, resting his hands on your waist so you wouldn’t fall off.

When you got to a particularly large cut, he winced, the paste making the wound sting.

You smirked, giving him a soft flick on the forehead. “I know the future Olo’eyktan is not taken down by a little medicine.”

He smirked off the pain, looking you right in the eyes. “Never.”

You chuckled, moving on to next cut, when the mention of the position reminded you of your thoughts earlier.

But your thoughts soon turned for the worse. 

“You are going to become Olo’eyktan soon. How do you feel?” you asked emptily, placing your two paste covered fingers on his chest.

He was concerned with your sudden mood change, but also loved the way your fingers felt on his skin, sending another stir to his stomach.

“It is exciting. And scary at the same time. I have so much to live up to,” he truthfully answered, looking down at himself.

You scooped some more paste on your fingers, giving him a quick glance.

“Well, you are not alone. You will have a Tsahik,” you sadly smiled, halting your massages on his wound.

You did not want to cry in front of him, but the tears were beginning to well.

“We have many that will surely be a good fit. Eyati is a strong hunter. And beautiful, too.”

It all clicked for Neteyam.

That was why you looked so sad. You believed he was going to chose someone else as his mate ( like he would ever ).

Amused, he laughed, slightly offended that you would ever think that anyone could take your place in his heart.

“What is so funny?” you asked softly, looking at him sad eyes, quite hurt that he was laughing.

He smiled, cupping your cheek in his hand. 

“You talk of me mating with another woman as you sit in my lap, massaging my chest. My love, that is funny.”

My love?

His thumb caressed your cheek as he pulled you in closer, resting his forehead on yours.

“(y/n), I see no one better fit than you to be my Tsahik. You may not be a strong hunter, but you are a strong healer. And more beautiful than any woman I have ever seen. Eyati may be a good fit, but you are the one I wish to mate with, not her,” Neteyam spoke sincerely, his eyes not leaving you for a moment.

You were flustered to say the least.

You’d never thought you’d hear those words coming out of his mouth. And boy, did it sound amazing when they did.

“(y/n)...I see you,” he finished, smiling as you cupped his cheek, placing his hand on top of yours.

“I see you, Neteyam,” you smiled back, a few happy tears managing to slide down your cheeks.

That was all he needed before he roughly kissed you, pulling you in by the nape of your neck.

You kissed just as roughly, moving your hands down to his chest as he tilted his head, getting better angle on you.

He wrapped his tail around your thigh, you doing same, trying to keep each other as close together as possible.

But sooner or later, you had to breath.

The both of you separated, panting with smiles on your face as you rested on each other’s forehead again.

“Forget dinner. I want to take you to Utral Aymokriyä right now,” Neteyam seductively growled, wrapping you in his arms and standing up, twirling you around the room.

“Neteyam! You still have to heal!” you blushed, resting your hands on his chest as you buried your face in his shoulder in embarrassment.

[its-time-to-write]

hi! Could you please write something with like reader opening the door one day when Roy stars knocking for training but reader and Jamie aren’t open about their relationship yet? I think it would be cute xx

I also thought this was cute. Not sure if anyone notices/cares, but all my titles are song lyrics based ever so loosely on the vibe I am trying to convey. Thanks for another great request!

what it is

Someone’s aggressively knocking on the door and as you roll over to check the time. It’s 4am, and you poke Jamie who is fast asleep beside you.

“Babe,” you whisper, “someone’s at the door.”

Jamie groans and mumbles something incoherent. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell something’s off. You reach out your hand and feel his forehead. It’s burning up.

The knocking continues and Jamie lets out another groan and says something that sounds like raining? Oh. Training. You remember he trains every morning at 4, but you’ve never seen who he goes with. He just kisses you in your sleep and is back right as you wake up for the day. 

You roll out of bed, grab one his sweatshirts from the floor, and pad downstairs to the door.

You swing open the door mid-knock. The man on the other side lowers his fist, looks at you all squinty for a moment, then says, “Who the fuck’re you?”

You return the look. “I live here. Who the fuck are you?”

The man scoffs. “No, you fucking don’t. This is Jamie Tartt’s house. Jesus fucking Christ, is he fucking blowing off training because of a fucking one-night stand?”

Oh. You know who this is. This is Roy Kent. You didn’t know he was the one training Jamie, but you guess it makes sense based on how much Jamie talks about him. It’s Roy Kent this, and Roy Kent that, and Roy says I need to eat more protein, and Roy said my hair looked funny today, does it look funny to you? 

You sigh. You and Jamie have been together for three months, and you basically live at his house. You’re really only at your flat to change clothes. You have a toothbrush, pajamas, and half a wardrobe at Jamie’s. Your books have started to make their way onto his shelves too, as you read them and then leave them for him to start. That was a little bit of an accident at first, after you left This Side of Paradise one night and came back to a different bookmark on page 34.

Anyway, Roy Kent doesn’t know you’re dating Jamie, or that anyone is. You suppose in his mind, Jamie is happily single, fucking around like the twenty-something year old footballer he is. 

Roy is still looking at you expectantly, so say, “I do live here. Why don’t you come in?” and hold open the door a bit wider. 

Roy’s face says fuck it, and he follows you inside to the kitchen. 

“Can I get you some tea?” you ask quietly, although Jamie can sleep through anything. 

Roy seems surprised by the question, but says, “Yeah, sure,” as he stands by the kitchen island.

“Jamie’s sick,” you say. “He’s still asleep upstairs. I doubt he’ll be up for training today.”

“Right, yeah,” says Roy, “I’m sorry, but who the fuck are you? Jamie’s not fucking supposed to be doing the whole one-night stand thing, he told me it’s too fucking distracting from training.”

You chuckle. “That’s comedy gold right there. Yeah, no, I’m not a one-night stand. I’m his girlfriend.”

Roy’s impressive eyebrows lift in shock, and you laugh again and give him your name. “Didn’t know I existed, did you? I’m not one for crowds or a big fuss. I told Jamie if we made it four months than he could start telling people. He was a little upset, but,” you shrug, “no point in making it a big deal if we just break up, right?”

You can practically see the wheels turning in Roy’s brain as he does the math.

“So you’re telling me that you’ve been fucking dating this little prick for three fucking months, and he hasn’t fucking said anything?”

You nod. 

“Fuckkk,” Roy whispers, “that makes so much fucking sense.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him.

“He’s been less of a prick recently,” Roy explains, “More considerate, been carrying around fucking books and shit. Not fucking flirting with everything that fucking moves. Thought maybe he was just taking beating Zava too fucking seriously.”

You nod and move to pour the tea. You and Roy both turn as you hear footsteps coming down the stairs. It’s Jamie, who is wearing a headlamp, pajama shirt, athletic vest, and a single sock. And, thank God, pants.

“Ready for training coach,” he says with a salute, but the action almost makes him fall over. He looks all pale and sweaty, with bags under his eyes.

“Told you he was sick,” you say.

“Fuckin’ hell,” is all Roy can come up with.

Jamie seems to notice you for the first time and breaks out into a smile. “Roy! Look! I have a girlfriend,” he says, words a little slurred while pointing to you.

It’s punctuated by a “Jesus Christ,” from Roy as Jamie wobbles, unsteady on his feet from his fever.

“Alright, mister,” you say. “Back to bed.”

Jamie frowns. “Always so mean,” he says. He does an imitation of your voice, “No Jamie, you can’t tell Roy about us. Yes Jamie, I know Roy’s your best friend. No Jamie, I don’t think you love Roy more than me.” He looks at Roy as you sling his arm around your shoulders, supporting him at his waist. He puts his fingertips on your lips as he says, “See what I have to put up with?”

You roll your eyes and suppress a smile as Roy says, “What you have to put up with?”

Jamie is so loopy right now. He lays his head on yours and smiles again. “Look at this. Me two favorite people, finally meeting. You should stay for dinner, coach.”

Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head. You can tell he’s trying not to laugh as you both mutually decide not to point out that it is now 4:30am and dinner is a long, long way away.

“Let’s go get you out of those clothes and into bed,” you say as you start to lead him back to your room. 

Jamie casts a look back at Roy and wiggles his eyebrows. “Babe, you can’t just say things like that in front of granddad. Might give him a heart attack. Old people are such prudes.”

“Go to sleep, Tartt,” Roy says. He looks at you and says softly, “I can see myself out.”

You smile and wave with your free hand. “It was nice to meet you,” you say. “Hopefully we can meet again under more normal circumstances.”

Roy nods once and does what you think is a smile? He turns and heads out the door as you maneuver Jamie upstairs. Jamie Tartt has a girlfriend. And a good one at that. What is the world coming to?

[justmediocrewriting]

okay but thoughts on sanji x reader where she gets jealous bcs he flirts with every woman he sees and she’s scared to confess because she doesn’t know if he likes her or just loves to play a flirt

Tell It To Me Straight (Because I’m Going Crazy) {v.s}

Summary: it was just like you to fall head over heels for a guy at first sight, only to later realize said guy was the world’s biggest flirt. It would also happen to be your luck that this same guy would join your crew — and now you had to deal with feelings and other things that were equally as unpleasant.

Genre: angst, fluff

Requested: ✅

Pairing: Sanji x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: insecurities, pining, Sanji (that’s a warning, right?), angst with fluffy ending ❤️

A/n: anon bless you for requesting my husband Sanji. I love this man so much. This actually took me entirely too long to write and I’m so sorry for that, writers block has been hitting me like a fucking train. Anyway I hope y’all enjoy even tho I feel this one might be a bit shitty ❤️✌️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Red painted lips curved into a smile, hair pulled into a classy updo, high rosy cheekbones, and donned in a dress that hugged every curve just right, the woman was truly beautiful, and when the dim lighting of the tavern reflected off the pair at the bar, you couldn’t help but feel that she looked too good next to Sanji.

It was a reality that was painful but long since accepted by you, the fact that you’d never truly be good enough for the charming man — but acceptance didn’t curb the cinching pain within your chest, or the burning jealousy that flickered to life in your gut and heated the underside of your skin.

You pursed your lips as you watched the two exchange murmured words and laughs, and fury burned hot in your lungs when the woman brought a hand up to swipe painted fingernails along Sanji’s forearm — Sanji, predictably, didn’t usher the woman away, and your next heartbeat was incredibly painful when Sanji instead leaned into the touch.

It was utterly ridiculous, the way you burned with flaming jealousy — and honestly, you weren’t sure if you were more angry with Sanji’s antics, or the fact that they affected you the way they did, even though you had been aware and exposed to them from the start. Sanji was a flirt, through and through, and it didn’t matter if the woman he flirted with was ugly or gorgeous, he just enjoyed the act of it — and this very fact put you in a position where you had to constantly remind yourself that just because he showered you with compliments and called you pet names didn’t mean they were genuine, or that you were someone special to him.

You’d also thought that acknowledging this fact would chase away the deep feelings you harbored for the man, and in the beginning, it actually did, but Sanji always found a way to drag them back to the surface.

Sanji was tall, he was handsome, and he had a way with words that could make any woman melt, you included. When you’d first encountered Sanji at the Baratie months ago, you had been utterly and hopelessly drawn in by these very traits of his, and still to the day, you found yourself stuck to him like a magnet. And it infuriated you from the inside out.

Because you’d never even asked for it, and the only chance at relief had been stolen away from you when Luffy invited Sanji to the crew, and the man actually agreed — and for the past few months, you’d been plagued with so many emotions that it gave you mental whiplash.

The center of this inner turmoil also didn’t help any. From the moment Sanji locked eyes with you, he was spewing compliments and sweet nothings at you, and looking at you with these eyes that made you squirm in both the most unpleasant and pleasant ways; you’d never had that kind of attention from a man, especially not from a man as attractive and damn sophisticated as Sanji, and it was just as exciting and exhilarating as it was flustering. It was no surprise you’d fallen as fast as you had — anyone would, should they get the time to really be around Sanji for a prolonged period.

You had even once considered admitting your feelings to Sanji; the prospect of confession had swirled into your mind the first night of his joining, when the crew was locked on the path to the Conomi Islands to retrieve Nami. You two had fallen into conversation late into the night, swapping muted stories in the comfortable air of the Merry’s galley, and Sanji was so attentive, so alluring, and his eyes… his eyes were locked onto yours, as if you were the only girl in the world, and there was something within their depths, something that had you wondering if he’d felt the same sensation you had when you two had locked eyes in the Baratie.

They had you wondering, entertaining, if he truly thought of you in the same way you thought of him.

But that notion was quickly tossed away the night at Cocoyashi village — because you noticed that Sanji gave those eyes to nearly every woman he met, save for the ones who were underage, and it hit you so heavily that you were not special to him at all that you nearly lost your breath. From that point on, you swore away your feelings for the man, and promised yourself you’d never let yourself be mislead or disillusioned by his flirts and charms again.

Except, things didn’t really go according to plan.

Because no matter how much you acknowledged the truth of Sanji’s flirtatious disposition, it still affected you — you would still feel so warm and fuzzy inside when he smiled at you, or when those soft endearments and compliments slid past his lips, or when he’d softly stroke your elbow to announce he was passing you aboard the ship…

Everything he did made you jittery and warm.

And you fucking loathed it.

“Are you alright?” Nami’s soft voice and gentle touch to your arm broke you from your scathing thoughts, and you tore your eyes away from the events unfolding at the bar to blink at her.

“Uh, what?” You asked, a little dumbly, and the redhead’s brows furrowed a little.

“I asked if you were alright.” Nami iterated, and you took in a sharp breath, a part of you so desperately wanted to flick your eyes over to Sanji, just to see what was unfolding — but you resisted the urge, and instead forced a smile to your lips.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just… spacing out, I guess.”

Nami didn’t look convinced, and your heart stuttered just briefly when she glanced in the direction that you had been previously staring, and a strange sort of look shadowed her eyes. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything else, and instead took a sip of her drink. Now that you’d been pulled back into the present, you were aware of Usopp and Luffy bickering about making “subtle changes” to the Jolly Roger, and you could hear faint snores from your right — sure enough, when you turned your head in the direction, you pinpointed a sleeping Zoro nestled a few feet away from Nami. Part of you wanted to smile, but the thought that Sanji was still at the bar with that woman dulled your ability to do so.

Don’t do it, you warned yourself, but despite the seething voice in your head, you still turned your focus back to the bar, and sure enough, Sanji was still entertaining the woman.

“Jeez, all he was supposed to do was get drinks. Guess we should start sending someone else to do that from now on,” Nami huffed from beside you, and all you could do was nod numbly, because at the moment your throat felt too tight to possibly push words through. Sanji’s lips split into a beautiful smile, and moments later your ears were graced with the rumbling timbre of his laugh, and despite yourself you couldn’t help the shiver that ran down your spine from the pleasant sound. The sight of his dimples and the crinkle in the corners of his eyes made your heart stutter in your chest, and in that moment, all you wanted was for him to be looking at you like that — to be on the receiving end of that smile and those eyes once again.

Just then, in a moment that was equal parts mortifying and electrifying, Sanji turned his head and locked eyes with you; your breath caught in your throat, and for an irrational heartbeat, you swore that Sanji had somehow telepathically received your desire to be looked at and followed the command, and you wondered if your feelings of burning jealousy and desire were reflected on your face. You forced a small smile to your lips and held up your near-empty bottle in one hand while gesturing to it with the other, silently reminding Sanji of the real reason he’d went to the bar in the first place.

Sanji’s expression changed from confused to realization in seconds flat, and you watched in growing anger as he addressed the woman once more and murmured what you assumed was some sort of departing quote; then he skimmed his fingertips over the length of the woman’s forearm before he turned back to the bar and grabbed three bottles by the neck in one hand and turned on his heel to stalk back to your table.

You tore your eyes from his and downed the small bit of liquid still in your bottle; the bitter taste and satisfying burn gave your mind something else to focus on.

“Sorry about the wait, my sweets. Here are your drinks.” Sanji said smoothly, placing a sweating bottle in front of Nami and then placing one in front of you as well. You tried not to look at him, but your eyes were drawn to his long, dexterous fingers by the light shining off his ring in just the right way.

Anger stirred in your gut at the way he apologized for the wait as if it wasn’t entirely his fault. You bit your lip and brought your hand up to grip the neck of the opened bottle in lieu of yelling at the cook, and downed a few swallows as you watched Sanji take a seat just across from you. Your eyes connected briefly, and you seriously wanted to rip out your chest because of the way it bloomed with warmth.

This was going to be a long night.

————————————————————————

You giggled into the skin of Nami’s neck as you both stumbled side by side; your breath tickling her neck caused the other woman to giggle profusely as well, and walking now felt even more difficult than it had before.

Behind you, Usopp and Luffy also walked side by side with one arm slung over the other, Zoro walking not too far behind them and perfectly, irritatingly balanced — screw him and his inability to get drunk.

The leader of your merry little pack was Sanji, guiding the rest of his drunken crewmates with a confidence and swagger that only he could possess. It kind of pissed you off — but it also made you really, really warm at the same time. And a little wet, but you blamed that on the alcohol thrumming through your system. It was easier that way.

By the time you’d all made it back to the docked Going Merry, Usopp had keeled over and thrown up a total of two times, and had to pull a deadweight Luffy to their sleeping quarters. Zoro was quick to follow their lead and enter his own room, with the assertion that he was going to “get more sleep.” As if he needed more.

“You comin’ to bed?” Nami slurred at you, and you shook your head; you were drunk, yeah, but you weren’t exactly tired at the moment.

“I think I’m gonna go hang out in the galley.”

Definitely not because Sanji would more than likely be there, prepping the rations for tomorrow’s breakfast as he did every night. But by the raised brow and smirk Nami sent you, you knew that she knew that’s exactly why you were going.

“Alright, don’t have too much fun.” Nami teased with an affectionate bump of her hip, and you glared at her back as she swayed her way to your shared room. When you stumbled to the galley, Sanji was there, as you’d predicted, a towel thrown over his shoulder as he meticulously separated a myriad of fruits and vegetables and grains. When you entered, he gave you a charming smile, one that made you extremely weak in the knees. It seemed that the buzz of alcohol had taken away your previous irritation with the cook, and all you could feel now was a warm sort of fuzzy fondness for him — one that you were far too used to feeling.

“Hello, love. Looking for something?” Sanji asked, his accent tickling your ears in the most pleasant of ways. You loved his accent; it just made him all the more handsome and charming in your eyes. You returned his smile with one of your own and head shake.

“Nah, not really. Just wanted to hang in here for a few.” You said, padding as gracefully as you could to the sofa. It took some maneuvering to slip yourself behind the hanging table, but you were able to do so without too much fumbling. Getting drunk wasn’t something you indulged in often, and your lack of stability and coordination was a major factor to that, but your drunken mind was just as unstable as your physical body, and you were quite prone to mood swings — that’s what you were going to blame your next actions on, anyway.

“Jus’ like watching you do your thing. ‘S nice.” You mumbled, and the smile Sanji sent you warmed you from your head to your toes, and you didn’t even have it in you to hold back whatever could be showing through your eyes as you rested your chin in your palm and stared at him.

Sanji turned his focus back to his prep, and he worked while you watched in a companionable silence. As he worked, your mind began to race — your train of thought wasn’t exactly clear or obvious, and the track was definitely a little misshapen, but as always, it was Sanji on your mind. You watched his fingers, his face, his arms, his everything, and you just thought about him.

You thought about the soft little smiles he sent you, about the crystalline blue of his eyes, how easy it was to get lost in them. You thought of the delicate Cupid’s bow of his lips, of the way the parted and formed sentences that were perfectly articulated to muddle your brain and chest. You thought of his hands, large and warm and dexterous. Of his caring disposition, of the way he was always so attentive to the needs of his crew. Your heart felt as if it was swelling within your chest, and you had to force yourself to look away from him lest it completely explode.

But Sanji didn’t seem to understand that you were seconds away from combustion, because he had abandoned his prep in favor of leaning against the island counter straight across from you.

“Something on your mind, sweetheart? You seem lost in thought.”

You snapped your eyes up to meet his, and he was looking at you like that again; eyes soft and brows relaxed, lips pulled into that little smile — you swore it must be love on his face. You immediately became angry with yourself, and instead of answering him, you demanded,

“Why do you do that?”

Sanji looked taken aback, and his throat worked in such a tantalizing way as he swallowed a couple times, confusion written clear on his face when he spoke. Your anger was momentarily replaced by a very warm feeling in your gut.

“Why do I do what, love?”

“That. Talk to me that way.” You said, flapping your hand wildly in a gesture. Sanji’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, an action your sloshy mind couldn’t help but track and froth over. His tongue looked so soft and pink.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Sanji asked, and in a show of bashfulness that you’d never seen from the cook, broke eye contact to focus on his hands — which he quickly busied one by swiping imaginary dirt from the surface of the island counter he was leaning back against.

“No, not exactly.” You said, lips rather loose from the alcohol. “I just don’t get it.”

Sanji’s brows furrowed and his hand halted in its movement, and rather than waiting for him to respond to that, you began to ramble.

“I mean, it’s just confusing for me. You look at me in this way, and you talk to me like that, all gentle and kind, and it makes me feel special and like I mean something to you.”

Sanji was beginning to look a little bit uncomfortable, but at the moment, your brain only had the capacity to really take your own feelings into consideration — and right now, what you were feeling was confusion and anger, and you needed the answer as to why. So you rose from your seat, knocking your hip into the edge of the hanging table as you did so, but even the shock of pain lacing through your abdomen wasn’t enough to stop your advance. When you were only inches from the man, you rose your hand in a fist and pushed an accusing finger into his chest.

“And you even had me feeling like maaaaybe you felt the same way as me, but was that true? Noooo.” Vivid memories of the night in the galley, when you’d first wondered if what you felt was reciprocated, flew through your mind painfully. You knew your words were slurred and groggy, and you knew you were spilling everything right now, but damn it, it just wasn’t fair.

“It’s not true, and I know it’s not, because you act the same way towards every pair of legs you come across. I-I ju-just—”

You’d started off strong, or as strongly as you could given your drunken state, but now there were tears in your eyes, words cut off by a wet sob, and the anger in your chest had been replaced by a heavy pain. Desperation clawed your mind fiercely, and you just needed to know.

“I’ve been torn ever since we met — I don’t want to feel this way, but you always manage to give me that hope, only to t-take it a-away again. J-just tell me Sanji, please — tell it to me straight, because I’m going crazy!”

Sanji was completely silent, his lips parted in a small ‘o’ as he stared at you with wide eyes. Your finger was still stuck to his chest, and you pulled it back quickly when you noticed, but you kept your eyes fixed on his in a weak glare.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Sanji’s eyes softened and his shoulders slumped with the force of the breathy laugh he released. Sanji hung his head, the laughter still bubbling from his throat. You took a small step back at the reaction, confused and heated with something akin to embarrassment, and the courage that the alcohol had given you seemed to have leaked out at some point, because now all you wanted to do was run; answers be damned.

When Sanji glanced back up at you, bright eyes slightly obscured by wisps of blonde hair, your heart skipped a beat; the smile on his face was small but genuine, and when he spoke, his voice sounded halfway exasperated and half way relieved.

“I’ve been pretty stupid, haven’t I, love?”

Now it was your turn to be confused. You knew you looked a lot like a fish, what with your eyes wide and your lips soundlessly flapping, but your throat just couldn’t produce any sound — and that ability was further stunted when Sanji gripped your wrists in his large, warm hands. Using the gentlest of tugs, Sanji pulled you forward until your nose bumped into the broad expanse of his chest, and his hands released your wrists in favor of sliding down to grip your hips softly.

Your entire body froze, skin buzzing and mind drawing blank, and the only thing you could really focus on was the rise and fall of Sanji’s chest, his warmth, the spicy cedar of his cologne, and the hold he had you in.

“Oh, darling… I’m sorry. I never even noticed…” Sanji cooed to you, chin grazing against the top of your head as he did so, and you were definitely about to spontaneously combust right there in the galley. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t moved couldn’t do anything else aside from simply short circuit in Sanji’s arms.

“I’m just flirty by nature, love, that much is true.” Sanji said, and he gently pushed you back only far enough so he could hook a finger beneath your chin and tilt your head up. Your lips were now a hairsbreadth from his, so close that you could feel every undulation of his breathing. Your heart flipped and twisted in your chest, and your skin heated, your gut tightening in a mix of anxiety and arousal that left your mind reeling.

“But all those other pairs of legs, they’ve got nothing on you. You’re the only girl I’ve got eyes for.”

Finally, you found your ability to speak — but your words were still very weak, dampened by a mixture of utter confusion and disbelief. There was no way this was happening, right?

“If I’m the only girl you have eyes for, why do you flirt with every one you see?”

Sanji’s smile was wide and dimpled, crinkling the corners of his eyes in that way that always sent your belly aflutter, and you could feel more than hear his words —

“Because I didn’t know the girl I had eyes for had eyes for me, too.”

[moonlightspencie]

bloodmoonlit

Description: Six years of friendship with more simmering beneath the surface. They thought they had no chance (but that’s romance).

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: drinking (a lot of it tbh), both of em being massive dorks, 18+ pls bc it gets mildly spicy at the end

Word Count: 5.4k

A/N: glitch is one of the best songs on midnights & nobody can convince me otherwise. anyways i didn’t proofread this sorry but i’m selfish

She was a hunter. He was… Also a hunter. Classic meet-cutes get a lot less cute when you’re meeting over the corpse of a wendigo.

Dean looked at her with awe and wonder after watching her use a flamethrower to take down a few wendigos that had started in on him. She lowered it like it was nothing after they stopped screeching into the night.

“Hey,” she greeted with a little smile. “You’re one of the Winchester boys, aren’t you?”

“Dean.”

“You’re like a modern-day folklore story, you know that?”

He chuckled, sure to make a comment about the flamethrower at the first chance. He got her number at the second chance.

They made fast friends at that point, both relentlessly flirting. Both never quite sure to what degree the other meant it.

Dean always found himself making trips towards wherever she was more often that what may be considered necessary. She never intentionally ran into him, but if she saw that impala roll up to a case, she always obliged her time. Especially if that meeting happened in a crowded bar where she could relish in the feeling of his attention being placed on her rather than anyone else who would immediately say yes to a night at his motel. Those green eyes sparkling as he chatted her up like they were the closest of friends.

Until they were the closest of friends, of course.

“How’s, uh…” Dean trailed, trying to think. “Was it Matthew?”

She snorted. “Didn’t last long.”

“Why not?”

“Never do,” she said curtly, sipping at her drink. “Non-hunter relationships don’t exactly work for me. They end up with too many questions too quick.”

He hummed, looking down at his own drink. She watched him for a moment, letting herself take a moment to admire the way neon lights bounced off his face. He always seemed to look extra pretty that way.

“Situationships,” she stated as a start, “That’s what pretty much everything I get into ends up as. Whatever works in the moment, no real strings.”

“And yet you always talk about wanting to be tied down,” he said with a smirk.

“Always is a big word,” she replied with a laugh. “I think someday I’d like that. Just don’t think it’s compatible with who I am right now.”

“You think you’re gonna change?”

“I’m always changing. That’s life, right?”

He shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve changed much.”

She laughed.

“I’ve known you for a year, and even in that time you’ve gotten a little different.”

He quirked a brow. “How so?”

“Laugh a little less, but still seem a bit happier. More accepting of life as it is, I guess.”

He sat with that for a moment, then nodded.

“I’ve had to. Every time I get stubborn, I end up screwing everything up.”

“Hey,” she said softly, pulling him out of his own head before he dug too deep, “You’re always learning. Always growing. Don’t beat yourself up.”

He smiled softly, letting her words carry him out of that out. They tended to do that more and more as he faced everything the world threw at him. His affection slowly morphed into more, and he tried not to panic about it. He did what he always did best: buried it as deep as it could go.

She realized her own feelings shifting, but her realization slammed into her like a truck. They were supposed to be just friends.

It all started with little chance meetings which turned into weekly calls which turned into “Do you want to stay with Sam and I? We’ve got a permanent place now”.

She ended up moving in shortly after the boys did. Three years of knowing them, she never expected to be living with them. Especially after all they’d gone through.

Granted, she helped with some of it. She was there when they had to cram Sam’s soul back in his body. She was there for the rise and fall of Dick. She was there when Dean came back from Purgatory.

She just wasn’t constantly with them. Only a kind of side-character in their grand adventure. Now, however…

“I think that’s all,” she said, dropping a few bags on her bed.

“Oh, right, because this isn’t over-doing it at all,” Dean said, humor lacing his voice.

She narrowed her eyes at him, then looked back around the empty room.

“I just— I’m excited to feel at home. I haven’t had a real place in…” she stopped, sighing.

“Yeah, I get it,” Dean spoke up, slinging an arm around her shoulder. “I was so excited to have my own bed, you have no clue.”

“I have some clue. You sent me like fifteen messages about it within the span of ten seconds,” she laughed.

“I love that memory foam, what can I say?”

“How about you get useful and help me set up shop here?” she asked, smiling at him as he already started pulling items out of the bags.

The bunker was like a hunter paradise in her eyes. She got the chance to have a place to call home. She got her own room, a million lore books, Dean, a place to do some baking, her favorite mug…

Wait. She couldn’t find her mug.

“Dean, where’d you put my mug?” she called out before he even got to the kitchen

“Stop calling me out before I’m even in the room. It’s creepy,” he said with a chuckle, walking in.

“Can’t help it. I know how you sound walkin’ around in here.”

She turned from the kitchen counter where the coffee was brewing. He watched her for a moment, smile still stuck in place.

“So?” she asked.

He raised a brow. “So…?”

She sighed. “My mug?”

“Oh,” he exclaimed, walking further towards her to open the fridge. “Made soup the other day and didn’t have any clean bowls.”

He pulled out the soup-filled mug, handing it in her direction. She quirked a brow, looking inside of it.

“I ain’t cleaning that out.”

He sighed dramatically, walking towards the sink.

“Guess I’ll do it. Princess can’t handle a few chunks of chicken in her precious mug.”

She smacked his arm lightly, scoffing.

“You’re the one who put chicken in it in the first place. You know that’s my favorite mug.”

He smirked, silently cleaning it out for her. When he was finished he turned, handing it off as he leaned against the counter.

“If my coffee is soup-flavored I’m going to have Cas smite you,” she mumbled, pouring it full.

She filled up another mug she’d pulled down in the meantime, sliding it to Dean.

“And yet, you still get me my coffee,” he said, pressing a kiss to her temple.

She hid a smile, shaking her head as she prepared hers.

“You know you love me,” he sang to her, heading towards the library.

She followed after, not even realizing what she was doing until she was halfway there. It was like they were attached at the hip.

They practically were over the following months, never not wanting to do everything together.

“Come on, Sam,” she whined. “You’re no fun.”

He smirked, attempting to leave the kitchen.

“Not all of us want to get plastered on a Tuesday night.”

“Speak for yourself” Dean said with a sparkle in his eye. He looked at Y/N. “You love getting screwed by me, right? Oh, sorry, with me.”

“Oh, yeah. My favorite activity, actually,” she said back with a smirk.

Sam sighed, rolling his eyes as he stood.

“I think I’m about done listening to you two flirt, anyways.”

“Aww,” she started, leaning closer to where he stood. “You gettin’ jealous, Sammy?”

“I’m getting grossed out,” he laughed. “Goodnight.”

The two at the table said a quick goodnight, turning back to their drinks and their jokes in an instant.

“Maybe we just need to sweat it out,” he jokes, brows dancing suggestively.

She laughed. “In your dreams, Winchester. We’ve gone almost six years without a slip-up, do you really think now’s a good time to break that record?”

He contemplated for a moment, fully believing it was a good time to break it. He couldn’t think of a better time with the exception of five-and-a-half years ago. But, he decided to actually use his brain.

“Guess you’re right.”

She smiled, pretending not to be thinking about the fact that she definitely thought she was all wrong. She really though that he should have known better than anyone that she believed records were made to be broken.

“I’m always right.”

“Now you’re dreaming,” he said with a chuckle, tossing back the rest of his drink.

He poured two shots, sliding one to her.

“Here’s to almost six years— what, like, five years and ten months? Something like that?”

She nodded. “July 7th.”

He stilled a moment, not thinking about the fact that of course she would remember the day they met.

“How many days is that?”

She hummed, playing into his little game as she pulled out her phone. She typed away until she got her answer:

“2119 days if I did the math right.”

“Nineteen or ninety?”

“Nineteen.”

“What do you say we have a special celebration if we get to twenty one ninety, then?”

She snorted. “What do you constitute as special?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” he winked, tossing back his shot.

She mirrored his actions, then quickly typed away again.

“What do you know? 2190 is exactly the six year mark,” she smirked. “Alright. Deal.”

Weeks passed, and life was shockingly normal in that time. Well, normal for their standards, which still included all the things that go bump in the night. After a particularly long hunt, getting back to the bunker was a relief.

All three of them went to their respective rooms to get some rest, but, as had become a pattern, Dean went knocking on Y/N’s door. She opened with a tired smile, inviting him in.

They sat around, talking about whatever topics came to mind, listening to music playing in the background. When conversation fell quiet, an idea struck her like lightening.

“Come on, Dean. A little dancing wouldn’t kill ya,” she said, moving a little to the music.

He laughed, watching her from her bed. She held out her hands, and finally took them after a few seconds. She could be very convincing, he thought.

They jumped around the room in an un-choreographed, ridiculous, messy dance that left both of them giggling and out of breath. Her music wasn’t always his style, but he sure didn’t mind listening to her sing every word with a passion as if she’d written them herself.

“See? You love this,” she exclaimed as the upbeat song faded out.

“Only because you’re making me,” he smiled.

She laughed again, starting to turn when a slow song started going. He didn’t let her get far, however, pulling her back into his chest by the hand. He played it off all nonchalant at first, ignoring the smile on her face as a bit he always liked to play anytime he started being affectionate in an unconventional way.

“Really?” she asked.

She reached up, fingertips brushing against his jaw so that he’d look at her again. He smiled softly when she did, just watching her for a few seconds.

“You wanted to dance. We’re dancing,” he said, swaying along to the melody.

“Such a gentleman.”

He smirked, not letting up in the dance. She gave in, resting her head against his shoulder as the music played. He closed his eyes, resting his cheek against her and letting the smell of her perfume lull him in the dance more than the song could. Her gentle humming put a smile on his face that he was grateful she couldn’t see: he was certain he’d look like a lovesick puppy.

As the song faded out, she finally pulled away enough to see him again, both of them still moving as another faded in. She looked at him with a glimmer in her eyes. He took in a slow breath, watching her face for a few moments, their movements slowing. He wanted to kiss her more than anything. So, he took an action:

“I’m gonna grab a drink.”

He untethered himself from her, quickly making an exit to leave her alone and deeply confused.

She sat in the library a few days later, reading a book she found on werewolf mating habits.

“What do ya got, there?” Sam asked, walking into the room.

She glanced up, a brow raised. “You don’t want to know, trust me.”

Sam snorted. “Alright.”

“You need something?”

She closed the book, setting it down on the table.

“Yeah. Do you want to hang out? I just hooked up a new TV in my room.”

“Sure,” she shrugged. “When?”

“I’m making popcorn right now.”

She laughed, agreeing as she got up. She got comfortable in his room, back against the headboard of his bed. He walked in a minute later, handing over the bowl of popcorn as he settled in.

“Is Dean coming?” she asked.

“No. He went out for the night.”

“Ah,” she said softly after a beat.

Sam straightened up, looking at her.

“He didn’t invite you?”

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“He always does. Why not now?”

She sighed, settling into the cushions, still looking ahead.

“I think I freaked him out. We were in my room the other night, and I asked him to dance with me. He did, but then… I don’t know,” she shrugged. “After a couple songs he left fast and he’s definitely been pulling away from me since then.”

“Hey,” he called, grabbing her attention. “Anyone who doesn’t appreciate you isn’t worth your time. You know that, right?”

“Thanks, Sammy,” she smiled, looking down again. “I just keep getting in my own head.”

“When aren’t you?” he joked.

“You jerk,” she said, tossing a piece of popcorn at him. “I’m trying to be, like, open right now.”

“I know,” he drawled, leaning his head against hers.

She brushed a few pieces of his hair off her forehead.

“Maybe I just need to go out and have some fun myself,” she said after a moment.

He perked up.

“Dude, yeah!”

He stood abruptly, holding out his hands for her. She took them, standing slowly, and looking around the room for some stray confidence so that she wouldn’t back out.

“Tell you what,” Sam started, giving her the hope she wanted, “You go get ready, and we’ll head out together. I’ll be your wingman.”

She smiled. “That sounds great. I immediately wasn’t sure about heading off by myself.”

“I could tell,” he laughed.

She got ready in record time, putting on her favorite dress for good measure. They left the bunker, hitting a nearby bar that didn’t have an impala parked anywhere close.

“They’re just… giving me nothing,” she said with a sigh, slumping in the seat next to Sam at the bar.

“What do you mean? That last guy looked really into it.”

“He was. He was also into talking about his ex-girlfriend within the first few minutes of conversation,” she snorted. “I think I’m asking too much. I should just find someone and make out with ‘em.”

“You sure about that?”

She looked at Sam again, a smile breaking out.

“No. But if we do another shot, I might be.”

He sighed, obliging her only because he knew she’d do it without him anyways. They threw back the shots, and he wished her luck as she went off in search of someone who wanted nothing but a good time.

Well, kind of a good time. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to take some dude home.

She went onto the dance-floor, deciding she’d let someone come to her rather than prowling for herself, and got her wish pretty fast. A moderately attractive man caught her hand as she swayed around by herself, asking for a dance. She plastered on a smile as she agreed, letting him take the lead.

“What’s your name?” he asked over the music.

“Do you really want to know?” she teased.

He smirked. “Guess it’s more fun not to know, huh?”

She smiled again, pulling him down to her lips as they moved to the music. She closed her eyes, appreciating the ease at which she got what she wanted. The only problem is that she couldn’t help imagining it was Dean instead of Unnamed Bar-Goer.

Regardless, she justified that they were merely using each other, so who cares if she let her mind run a little wild?

She only backed away when he started getting a little handsy for her tastes. She thanked him for his time, walking away and back to Sam. He raised his brows when she came back.

“Hey, looks like you got it,” he said, watching her sit. “Also looks like you aren’t too happy.”

“Still giving me absolutely nothing,” she said with a sigh. “Not a damn thing.”

He chuckled. “Maybe this plan didn’t work out so well.”

“Still got to drink with my favorite giant,” she noted with a wink and nudge.

“Ha ha. Real flattering, thanks.”

He rolled his eyes, but let himself smirk when she wasn’t paying much attention. They sat talking at the bar for another hour or so before Sam decided to call it a night. She linked an arm around Sam’s as they walked out of the bar, definitely a little more drunk than she intended to get.

Dean walked into the bunker, spirits effectively dampened. His attempt to get his mind off of his I-almost-kissed-her moment didn’t work in the slightest, and now he was in a sour mood as a result.

His mood only worsened when he saw Sam and Y/N stumbling into the kitchen, the latter a drunken mess in an outfit he liked a little too much. He watched as Sam helped her into the room, practically propping her up against the counter.

“What the hell?” Dean asked as his brother got a glass from the cupboard.

“What?” Sam defended, filling up the cup with water.

“For one, why is she laughing at herself against the kitchen counter?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “We went out.”

He walked over to Y/N, handing her the glass. She sipped at the water, then set it down just as quickly.

“Done,” she cheered.”

“No, you’re not,” Sam said, picking up the water and giving it right back to her. “Come on, you’re going to be hungover tomorrow.”

She refused the drink, kicking off her shoes. Then, she turned to level her gaze at Dean as he sipped on a beer.

“And where did you go run off to?”

He raised his brows. “Does it matter?”

“Yeah,” she stated with finality.

“Out.”

“Get lucky?” she asked, more bitterness in her tone than she meant to let out.

“No.”

She rolled her eyes, then glanced at Sam again.

“Wanna go hang out and read? I found a book about how werewolves get it on,” she said, giggling as she ended the sentence.

“What?”

Dean spoke up again. “Since when do you go out and get drunk without a reason?”

She snapped back to him. “Since I was celebrating me. I’m done chasing after guys who don’t want— What was it, Sam? Like if they don’t appreciate me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean asked back, setting down his drink.

“Sammy, I wanna talk to Dean by myself,” she managed to say, hardly looking at him.

“I don’t know—”

“Sam,” she cut him off, watching him.

He put his hands up in defense, walking out of the room. She watched until he left, then looked at Dean again. He glanced sideways at her as she swayed slightly while she stood.

“You know, those six years are coming up real soon, De,” she said, staring from across the counter.

“Are they?” he asked, wondering where this was going.

“Mhm. One more week I think,” she hiccuped. “Sorry.”

He furrowed his brow. “You’re drunk.”

“I tried kissing someone today,” she said, words tumbling out fast like she couldn’t control them. “I hated it.”

He paused, unsure why she was saying this. His heart hurt more than he thought it would, hearing her admit that.

“Why?” was all he could manage.

“Why’d you go out without me?” she countered. “You never go out without me, not since we met.”

He sighed, eyes closing as he braced himself against the counter. He heard her as she got closer, eventually leaning her head against his arm.

“I’m glad you didn’t go home with anyone today.”

He swallowed, unable to look at her. “Yeah. I— I was gonna try, to be honest, but…”

“I’m gonna throw up,” she said, suddenly moving to the sink.

He followed after swiftly, helping her as best as he could. He pulled her hair back gently as she emptied her stomach into the kitchen sink.

“You’re okay, sweetheart,” he said softly, rubbing her back with the hand that wasn’t holding her hair. “Get it all out.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, sniffling.

“I’ve seen you worse,” he said with a smirk. “That upset about what I said?”

If she had been a touch more sober, she might have realized he was joking. Unfortunately, she took it completely literally.

“I didn’t mean to. I just thought about you and some—”

“Whoa, whoa. Hold on, I wasn’t—” he paused as she stood again, running the sink to clear it out. He turned it off again, impatient. “What are you talking about?”

“What?”

He watched her as she straightened herself out, pulling down the skirt of the dress she was in where it had ridden up.

“You threw up over me mentioning—”

“Dean.”

“Why?”

She sighed, leaning down to rest her head on the counter.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You kissed someone. I didn’t even get that far.”

“Why do you care?” she asked, standing again, and nearly falling over.

He caught her gently, but kept his hard tone as he responded to her.

“Why do you?”

“Because I just do, Dean.”

“You’re so freaking stubborn,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

“You’re one to talk. This is all your fault anyways.”

“Excuse me?” he asked, annoyance in his voice.

“It’s your fault,” she said, punctuating the phrase with a slap to his chest.

“Yeah? And how’s that?”

“You should’ve just kissed me instead of chickening out and running away like a little boy.”

He was stunned into silence, his anger dissipating and then quickly returning.

“If you hadn’t made me dance with you, I wouldn’t have been all in your face in the first place,” he shot back.

“You’re such a dick,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Six years of not chasing anyone but you, and for what? You’re acting like a bitch.”

“Well, jokes on you, sweetheart,” he exclaimed, opening up his arms. “Hasn’t even been six years.”

“Great! Let’s hope we never get there, then!”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m not the one who ran off to get a hookup because I couldn’t handle my feelings.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, you just ran off to make out with someone because you couldn’t handle your feelings.”

“Why do you feel the need to make everything so difficult?”

“Because you’re the most difficult person I’ve ever met,” he said, voice raising to an octave you didn’t often hear. “How else am I supposed to deal with you?”

She groaned in frustration, pushing past him to leave. She stalked out of the kitchen, only making it so far as the hallway before she was getting pulled back.

“Stop it, Dean,” she all but yelled.

He rolled his eyes, pulling her closer and leaning down to kiss her. One hand found her face, a surprisingly gentle touch in comparison to how intense the kiss was. She felt like she couldn’t catch her breath, a smile on her face as he finally gave in. He pulled back a moment later, though not without an internal struggle.

“The douchebag at the bar kiss you like that?” he mumbled against her lips.

“Not exactly,” she sighed. “What took you so long?”

“You weren’t making moves either, loser,” he said with a laugh.

“You didn’t exactly make yourself out to be available, De.”

“And you did? You literally told me I wouldn’t get you in my wildest dreams a few weeks ago.”

She paused, a smile spreading to her face.

“Touché.”

“How about now?”

She quirked a brow. “You propositioning me, Winchester?”

“If I was, what would you say to that?”

“I’d say that I think there must be some technical malfunctions in the universe for me to get that lucky.”

He smirked, slowly backing her until she was pressed against the wall.

“Early celebration?”

“Only if we still celebrate when we hit twenty one ninety,” she said with a smile. “Gotta safeguard, here. Easier for me to make sure this doesn’t become a one-time thing.”

“You think I’d be able to stop after one time? It’s you,” he said, moving in closer. Her arms wound around his neck. “I’ve been holding out for six years.”

“Not quite.”

“Mm. Close enough.”

He leaned in to kiss her again, this time slow and soft. She kissed back, glad to finally know what his lips felt like against hers. He let his hands wander, holding to her hips and sliding down further.

“You look real pretty in this dress,” he mumbled between kisses.

“Was hoping you’d see it and like it,” she smiled, nipping at his lip. “Just don’t rip it if you decide to take it off me.”

He smiled against her as he leaned back in. He kissed her, deepening it immediately as one hand dragged down her leg. He slotted his own thigh between her legs, adding a little friction that had her gasping into his mouth. He started hiking up the skirt of the dress further. Slowly, purposely teasing her with it. Teasing himself just as much.

Then, heavy footsteps started coming down the hall. They separated quickly and ducked inside the kitchen, hoping Sam would walk past. Unfortunately, they were wrong.

Dean stood behind Y/N quickly, concealing a problem he didn’t exactly have time to fix.

“Hey,” Sam said softly, seemingly not noticing a thing. “I didn’t hear yelling coming down and needed a drink. You two all good?”

She nodded. “Great.”

“Awesome,” Dean said at the same time.

Sam nodded, giving a tight smile as he walked past.

“We were actually about to head to bed, so…” she said, looking at him as he stood at the fridge.

“Okay,” he nodded, nonchalant. “Night.”

“Night.”

Dean waved a quick goodbye, following after her quickly. They broke into his room, giggling like a couple of drunk toddlers.

“He didn’t hear yelling,” Dean said, closing in on her once the door was shut.

She reached for his belt, quickly undoing it as they got closer to the bed.

“He didn’t.”

He grabbed her by the waist, tossing her down on the mattress, slowly climbing on top of her.

“Wanna test and see if the walls in here are just as soundproof?”

She looked up at him as he finally tugged her dress up around her hips.

“I love a good experiment.”

She laid back in the early morning hours, not even bringing herself to be annoyed that she was being suffocated by a large man on top of her. Mostly because if Dean killed her that way, it certainly would suck, but what a way to go.

She sighed, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead as he rested against her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair until he eventually woke up with the sweetest sleepy smile point at her.

“Hey,” he said, adjusting himself to see her better.

“Hey,” she greeted, accepting a soft kiss. “I think we should’ve done that forever ago.”

“I don’t know. Might be like a wine situation. We let it sit so long that it got even better by the time we actually got some.”

“Very poetic.”

He smiled, a hand coming to rest on her side as he kissed her again. It was slow and lazy and altogether too sweet. She was almost embarrassed that she had to be there to witness how mushy that moment was, if not for the fact that she was on the receiving end of the mush. She pulled away from him first, leaving him to whine.

“You’re so dramatic,” she said in a whisper. “Whining?”

“You were doing plenty of that last night,” he smirked.

“Okay,” she rolled her eyes playfully. “Why don’t we get some breakfast. I’m starving.”

His hand started moving downward, inching up the shirt of his that she was wearing.

“I could eat.”

“Dean,” she warned.

He started scooting down the mattress slowly, not giving up.

“Come on. Kitchen.”

“Ooh, kinky.”

“Cut it out,” she laughed. “Kitchen for actual breakfast. I don’t waste time when it comes to breakfast.”

They made it to the kitchen for that breakfast successfully! Twenty minutes later, anyway.

“Hey,” Sam greeted, not looking up.

“Morning, Sammy,” Dean said, going straight towards the cabinets for cereal.

She realized suddenly that there may have been something she forgot in his room.

“Is that Dean’s shirt?” Sam asked.

She looked down, realizing that it was clothes she had forgotten. Sam paused, raising a hand.

“On second thought, I don’t want to know. Glad to know you’re at least not fighting. Just— Maybe some pants next time.”

She laughed, following Dean to the table as he set down two bowls of cereal. They all sat eating in a comfortable silence. Then a slightly less comfortable silence as Dean grabbed her thigh halfway through breakfast. Sam quickly excused himself after that, a knowing smile on his face as he left.

“So… We’re in the kitchen,” Dean said, leaning towards her. “I don’t think Sammy’s comin’ back anytime soon.”

After definitely not doing anything weird in the kitchen and then totally not feeling bad and scrubbing down the entire room for the day, things fell into a new rhythm. It was comfortable and surprisingly less of an adjustment than they were expecting. All of those years of relentless flirting must’ve made for an easy transition.

Dean cleared his throat a few days later, grabbing her attention as she lounged in the room he’d set aside for TV-watching (with the fun new addition of a couch).

“Yeah?” she asked, looking away from the screen to see him.

“Guess what?”

“Hm?”

“2190 days.”

She smiled. “Yeah? Is that today?”

He hummed, giving a nod.

“What were those special plans of yours?”

He raised a brow. “You really wanna know?”

She merely nodded. He paused the show they were watching.

“I, uh— I was gonna tell you how I felt if I didn’t chicken out.”

“You’re kidding,” she replied after a beat.

“I’m not,” he said with a chuckle.

“Man. Almost twenty two hundred days of a blackout before we finally lit it up, huh?”

He laughed. “That’s one way of putting it.”

She paused, turning to put her feet in his lap. He immediately, started rubbing her leg, enjoying the uninhibited ability to touch her.

“Wanna know something funny?”

He raised a brow in question.

“Years ago someone told me they knew we’d end up together.”

“Who? Bobby?”

She shook her head. “Garth.”

He rolled his eyes as she laughed, poking him in the arm a moment later.

“Got to give it to him, he’s always been perceptive,” she noted.

“Guess so,” he nodded, reluctant to admit it. “Freakin’ Garth.”

She watched him a moment, then retracted her legs. He looked at her, almost hurt with those big puppy-dog eyes.

“Oh, poor baby,” she cooed. “Don’t worry, I’m comin’ closer.”

She crawled over to him, settling in his lap. He ran his hands up her legs, a small smile returning to his lips.

“I can think of a few other ways we can celebrate today, you know?”

“Yeah?” he asked, leaning into the cushions.

“Five words: apple pie in the freezer.”

“Oh, baby, you know how to talk dirty to me,” he groaned, pulling her down for a kiss in a fit of laughter.

FULL MASTERLIST | BUY ME A COFFEE

—————

dean winchester taglist:

@deanwithscissors @hyunjaebaby

[hellsburners]

test drive nothing

summary: Your date is a fucking asshole so you find two lovely men who are willing to make it up to you. pairing: matt murdock x male reader x peter parker word count: 3.2k  warnings: 18+ warning, alcohol use, some rude guy at a club, threesomes, top!matt, top!peter, bottom!reader, gay sex, semi-public stuff a bit, eiffel towered reader iykwim a/n: sorry for the delay didnt feel good for the past few days, anyway i hope yall like this idk what i was doing with this but if you liked it interractions are very much welcome and appreciated.

masterlist | more matt | more peter

gif credit for peter & matt

Heat rose up from your toes to your head. Music blasting from speakers left and right, neon streams of strobing light lit the dark room. People dancing around and drinking. It’ll be fine, you thought. It was your first time in this club, a Grindr match invited you here so you could hang. You were scanning the room for him, his pic showed a lean man with blonde hair and blue eyes on a beach in California. 

You here? You messaged him. Well, you’ve been messaging him the same question for the past hour, no response. Your cheeks turned red from the anxiety. You nape, turning stiff and sore. 

“Hey,” an arm caresses yours. It was him, he was wearing a black tank top tucked into cargo pants. “So, you ordered a drink?” You shook your head, he called on the bartender and gave you a drink suggestion. Since you weren’t much of a drinker you went with his choice, vodka martini. 

The two of you talked for a few minutes, catching up on typical first date things. You found out that he was a doctor for MetroGen, he liked hockey, and he has a pet dog. He was now a few inches from you, his breath reeking of alcohol, his light blue eyes piercing yours. He tried to inch closer to you, to kiss you. Feeling like he was being too fast you pulled back. 

“Maybe we should go dance?” you asked, standing up from the bar stool. He reluctantly agrees. You gesture to the dance floor. The two of you walk towards the building crowd. You were bumping onto bodies left and right. You were holding your drink, trying not to spill it. A man with brown hair bumps into you, you almost spilled the drinks from the tight space. He told you he was fine and left smiling. You thought of his face, it felt familiar.

“Hey you coming?” your date says, starting to dance. You joined him, slowly feeling into the fast beat of the music. He places an arm at your lower back. Your hands to his shoulders. Your hips moving left and right. He stares at different men passing you by, his gaze on them rather than you. 

You see a guy wink at him and he winks back. You thought he was just friendly, he seemed to be the type. He knew people in the club and he’d greet them left and right. You felt isolated. You look around, people dancing and laughing, it suffocates you. Your hands started to jitter around the glass, you almost felt it slip.

“I think I’m gonna go—” you gestured for the restroom. He grabs your wrist and pulls you back. His arm wrapped tightly across your back. His grip was firm, he reeked so bad of alcohol you hadn't noticed he was actually so drunk from earlier. “Please, let me go. You’re making me uncomfortable.” 

He starts to initiate a kiss. You push him away, he doesn’t budge.

“Come on now babe, we haven’t had much fun yet,” he whispers to your ear, you cringe from his disgusting tone. A hand pulls his arm away. The weight lifted off of you. 

“He said let go, man,” someone says, it was the brunette from earlier. Your date shrieks from the man’s grip. You see his fingers almost crush his wrist. His brown eyes were stern, his brows furrowed. 

“Piss off! That’s my date,” he tries to reach for you. The brunette pushes you aside gently, blocking you away from him. Your date pushes the brunette, taunting him. He tries to take a punch toward the man protecting you, he blocks it. The guy tried to lunge further, to take the brunette by the collar and slam him. You see the brunette clutch his fists, his nails burying in his palms. Too bad for your date the bouncer came in and ushered him out. He went out screaming and cursing. 

“You okay?” the brunette said. He gestured for you to go back to the bar and grab some water. 

“Yeah, fucking prick,” you said soothing your wrist before taking a sip of ice cold water. The shock releases your skin of all the tension. “Knew that app was a hell hole.”

“Met him from Grindr, huh?” he asked, you nodded reluctantly. Now that you were far from the strobe lights and all the different colors you could see his face clearly. You had seen his face before, not from earlier, but from somewhere years ago. Your face contorted to a confused look. 

“Have we met before?” you asked,he smiles.

“Must be the glasses, ditched them years ago.” He points two fingers to his eyes. 

“Oh my god from high school! I know your name I swear,” you tried to search your brain for a name, or the first letter at least. 

“I bet you a million dollars you won’t remember my name, not really a popular guy in high school,” he chuckles. He takes a sip of coke, his arm resting on the bar counter. You close your eyes trying to search for the name.

“Peter Parker!” you shouted. “Venmo me a million dollars right now."

“Well give me your number so I can send it,” he takes out his phone. You smiled, you took his phone and typed the ten digits. “I’ll send it to ‘ya when I win the lottery.” The two of you laugh.

“Wanna dance?” you asked. 

“You sure?” he said, looking confused. 

“Yeah, can’t let one man ruin my night right?” you started backing up towards the dance floor. He was hesitant at frist, following you he takes your shoulder to guide him.

The two of you started to dance. The lights flood your eyes with different colors. You asked if you could put your hands on him, he nodded. You rest your hands on his shoulders. He asked the same question, you nodded as well. You guided his arms around your waist. He was gentle about it. The pressure was so light it felt like nothing. 

You placed a hand on his handsome face, pushing his hair aside. “Do you want to kiss me? I think you wanna kiss me?” he whispered.

“You want to bet another million dollars on that?” you laughed. 

Your lips meet, his soft lips warm on yours. He was everything the man earlier was not. Each step he asked for your consent. His hands were light on your body. His kiss was slow and gentle. He was simply a nice guy. 

He told you that he forgot to mention he was actually meeting with a friend. You got shy thinking he was on a date and you now ruined it but he assured you it was just a friend. A few minutes of chatting led to the two of you laughing at each other’s jokes. It was around midnight already. 

Peter called for someone behind you, you turned to see who it was and it was a man a bit older than him. He wore a black suit and a white shirt and he wore these ruby colored glasses. He was an attractive man, his mouth smirked as he waved at Peter. 

“Hey, this is my friend Matt,” Peter says to your ear, the music almost making it inaudible. Matt smiles as Peter introduces you to him. 

“Sorry for being late, work stuff,” you noticed his eyes behind the glasses focused above your head, never going your way. He’s blind, Peter mouths at you. Oh. Peter told you two to get to know each other as he gets more drinks. 

“You from Midtown?” you asked. 

“Hell’s Kitchen actually, I’m a lawyer,” he says. You told him about how you met Peter in high school. 

“Oh, hence the corporate get-up, I dig it” you said, he laughs, his cheeks showing off his dimples. 

Peter came back with three shot glasses. He hands you and Matt one. He offers a toast and the three of you bring your glasses to a clink. You down the shot, the liquid burning your throats. And the three of you took another shot, and another, and another.

You tap Matt’s shoulder gently. “Let’s dance some,” you say to him.

“Oh no, I don’t dance,” he puts the shot glass down. Waving his hands with hesitation.

“That’s not true, I saw you once!” Peter said, Matt pressed his palm on his mouth and made a shushing sound. The three of you were laughing hysterically. 

“Oh come on do it for me,” you dragged the words. He loosens his tie and joins two of you. 

Peter’s arm was around your shoulder as the two of you danced to the beat, your hips swaying. You held onto the hem of Matt’s sleeve pulling him in. He awkwardly tries to dance with the two of you. It was cute, you thought. Peter was now behind you, your back pressed to his chest. Matt playfully guided your hands to his shoulders, moving his body left and right. It was out of beat but it was the thought that counts. 

Maybe it was alcohol, or the moment, or the fact that there were two very attractive men dancing with you, but you started to feel something. Like heat rising to your cheeks in a good way, your knees feeling weak. Peter placed a kiss on your nape. You ushered yourselves closer to Matt. Peter’s hand went to Matt’s waist pulling him into you. 

Matt placed his arms in your waist, light but stern. You wrapped your arms around his neck. You could smell him, like sandalwood and musk. “You could ask him if you want to. I won’t mind,” Peter said, as if being able to read your mind.

“Can I kiss you?” you asked Matt. Your mind completely focused on the two men with you. Matt giggles and places a kiss on your lips. Peter’s kiss was soft, Matt’s was more heated, like his thick lips were sucking you in. 

“So you two do this a lot?” You pointed at Matt and Peter. 

“Only if the guy is cute.” Peter said. 

“But the two of you?” you chuckled. Peter placed his hands on Matt’s cheek, whispering something in his ears. Matt nods and Peter places a kiss on Matt’s lips. 

“That wasn’t too bad. Can’t believe we haven’t done that before Matt," he pats his back.

“Maybe we can take this party to my place?” Matt said. You looked at Peter, who was also looking at you. You both tell Matt yes. “Let me go get a cab.” 

Now outside, Matt was hailing for a cab. The streets were cold. Peter wraps his arms around you. Body heat, he says. You go on your tiptoes to kiss him again. More feverish this time. You could feel his hardness press on your waist. “Sorry, I couldn't wait, this is so hot.”

Matt arrives, his brows raised in disbelief. A cab waiting for the three of you. Matt tugs on Peter’s collar and shoves him to the front seat. “You sit there and watch.”

You and Matt continue to make out in the back seat. His shirt was now untucked from his waist. His tie was long gone and his shirt opened a bit. He places soft wet kisses to your neck making you moan. The two of you could care less about what the cab driver thought. 

Peter looks at the two of you from the rearview mirror, the erection in his pants stirring. He palms the damn thing. He really could not wait. 

Matt’s hands came to your thigh, your hands peeking through the hem of his shirt, you could feel his bare skin, all warm and hard. The car slowed, you’ve arrived at Matt’s apartment. Peter pays, you and Matt hurrying to the front door. “Hey wait up!” Peter yelled. 

While Matt was fumbling to get his keys Peter pulled you to him. “I’m starting to get jealous here,” he whispers. 

“I want you both, so fucking bad.”

“Then you’ll have us,” he cups your face and kisses you again, his tongue meeting yours. His hand comes to your lower back, playing with the hem of your pants. His fingers slowly going underneath the fabric.

The door unlocks. “Door’s open, you two,” he takes his suit jacket off. 

The three of you were undressing in Matt’s living room, stumbling from getting rid of tight shirts and long pants. You stare at their bodies both scarred, Peter was lean but still muscular, while Matt was more bulky. Their erections form tents in their boxers. 

Peter sat down on the sofa, gesturing for you to sit on him. Matt sits next to him. God they were a sight. You ride Peter’s thigh. Your hands palming his torso. Peter touches your sex, you were also so hard. You whisper to Peter that you’d like to suck him off. He curses and nods.

You go down on your knees, pulling his boxers with you. His long cock springs up, the head a bright red. He points the tip to your lips, you give it kitten licks, the sensitive head throbbed from the motion. 

Matt started to palm his boxers as you sucked Peter off. Your hand wanders to his hairy thighs. Matt releases his cock, it was shorter than Peter’s but still pretty big, what Peter lacked in girth Matt showed off more. You started to stroke his cock, your mouth still on Peter’s. The two men moaned, their eyes closed and their heads held back. 

“Fuck you’re so good,” Peter coos. He takes you to sit on the couch, he goes down on his knees to pleasure you. With his mouth to your cock, Matt went on to leave kisses to your neck, his hand on Peter’s head, pushing him deeper. You moaned so much from it. Your hands go to Matt’s cock, now leaking with precum. 

“I want to fuck you,” Peter said. You asked where the bedroom was and Matt led the two of you to his queen sized bed. Matt sat on the bed, his back to the headboard, you crawled to him and took him in your mouth, the girth filling your warm mouth. Peter massages your ass from the back. Matt jerked his hips making you choke a little, you moaned, your throat vibrating on Matt’s cock. “Moan louder pretty, Matt likes it a lot.”

Peter takes your underwear off. He parted your ass and began to lick in your hole. You moaned on Matt’s cock, he shuddered from the sudden wave of pleasure; he brushed his hand through your hair. “My god sweetheart you’re too good at this.”

You felt Peter’s shaft tapping against your whole. “Condoms?” he asked. Matt gestured for the bedside table. Peter went on to get them. You released Matt’s cock to look for him but he pulled you into a kiss. 

“Peter’s gonna go first, is that okay?” Matt asked in between kisses. You nodded. Peter returned with condoms and a small bottle of lube. He places the condom on his cock, stroking it after with lube. 

“‘You ready?” you nod. Peter slowly presses the tip to your whole, the tight muscle contracts around the head making it tighter.

“Relax for me baby,” Peter coos, rubbing his hands on your back. He fully sheathed himself in you. You felt so full and so good. Peter fucking you while your mouth was on Matt’s cock, it drove you crazy. Peter pulled you to his chest, one hand to your cock while the other teasing your nipples. Matt went to your cock and placed small licks to your shaft, precum dripping from your tip. Matt took you in, your cock hitting the back of his throat as Peter pounded you. Matt choked but kept going. 

“You sound so good taking Peter,” Matt said, his lips swollen red. Your hands brushed through his hair. Peter fucked you so sensually any trace of stinging alleviated from your body. There was fluidity to the way he moved, like a dancer or a gymnast, all steady movement but still so graceful. 

“Fuck, I’m so close,” Peter groaned. 

You felt so close too. Your rhythm became erratic, more lazy and inert. He let out a few more thrusts, emptying inside you. You came on Matt’s lips. Your chest heaving, Peter gave you a kiss on your temple, whispering praises. 

Matt wiped his lips, licking your cum and sucking on his fingers. “My turn,” Matt guided your back to the bed. He took your legs and placed them on both sides of his hips. His cock leaking with pre, he takes the condom packet and places a rubber on him as well, lubing it after. 

You still felt weak from Peter, who was now cradling you in between his legs, your back to his. He is laying down with his back to the headboard resting for a bit. Matt slowly pressed himself into your hole, you groaned. Peter whispered words of comfort to your ears, brushing his hands through your hair as Matt moaned to the feeling of your hole around his cock. 

Matt peppered you with kisses. His hands snaked around your body feeling every bit of skin, his fingertips tracing every crevice and every groove, every bit of fat and muscle. He looked so good, hips thrusting while his dark hair stuck to his forehead drenched in sweat. His mouth agape as he cursed, calling for God's name. 

Peter’s hand went to your cock, now soft and a bit sore. He traced his fingertips on the wet slit, the sensitive tip made you writhe from the sensation. A few moments later you began to harden again. Peter spat on his palm and stroked your cock after. Your eyes closed from all the pleasure. 

You felt your spirit lift from your body. These two men were bringing pleasures to your body you hadn’t known existed. You felt as if your body were ascending to heaven for a second there. 

Matt bent down to give you a fevered kiss. Peter squeezed himself to the kiss. The three of you sharing your tongues and lips. Matt’s stubble pricked your cheeks but it didn’t matter. You felt yourself near another orgasm. You were now a sobbing mess between these two. Matt fucked you harder, you felt his orgasm nearing as well. 

“I’m gonna cum,” you cried. Matt said he was close too, whining your name. Peter pumped your cock until your eyes closed from the pleasure, your hands gripping onto the sheets, your toes curled. Matt’s erratic rhythm came to a stop as he emptied his cum in the condom. Leaving you both a moaning mess. 

The three of you shared one last kiss before crashing onto the bed. Matt went to the bathroom to get you a wet towel. Peter peppered your temples with kisses, whispering praises. Matt came back with the towel and helped you and Peter clean up, he took extra good care with cleaning your behind. 

After that, the three of you laid naked on Matt’s bed, drenched in sweat. You felt yourself drift off to the night. Your head to Matt’s chest and Peter’s arms wrapped around you. 

You wake up to the sound of frying and the smell of cooked bacon. You found yourself tucked in Matt’s blanket, with your boxers on and Matt’s shirt on you. You stood up, your back aching, and went to Matt’s small kitchen. You found the two boys cooking breakfast. It was Matt who noticed you first. 

“Hungry?” he asked, finishing off frying eggs. Peter noticed who Matt was talking to and smiled. He walked towards you to give you a kiss on the forehead, his hands on a plate of bacon and some toast. 

You smirked, very. 

interactions are greatly appreciated btw if u liked this fic and want more send me a prompt and i'd gladly make something from it :>

[chaotic-mystery]

Baby Doll |

༅ Pairing: Dbf! Joel Miller x f!reader

༅ Summary: You got a new tattoo, and Joel doesn’t know how to feel about it at first. 

༅ Word Count: 1,605 

༅ CW: SMUT 18+ unprotected p in v (Pls no babies wrap it), fingering, lots of nicknames, spitting, choking, roughness in general, talking you through orgasm, heavily implied age gap (reader in mid 20′s, Joel mid 40′s)

All of my dbf! Joel is pre-outbreak, but he’s not a father (I’m sorry!)

ꨄ Let me know what you think, feedback and comments are always welcomed as are requests/ ideas! ꨄ

My masterlist

The one thing Joel loved calling you was baby doll. He wasn’t sure where it came from, it just came out one day and you loved it. You loved the way it spilled from his mouth when he moaned, how it sounded when he was giving you a quick goodbye kiss so your dad didn’t see. How it sounded when he was half asleep and wondering if you were still laying there half awake. So when you were out with Joel one night, your fingers intertwined as you walked downtown, the neon lights from a tattoo shop flashed ahead of you and your eyes lit up instantly. “Should we?” You nodded towards the building, trying to coax the man inside. He laughed, not taking you seriously at all. “What would you even get?” You thought about it as you looked down at your hand in his, and met his eyes once more. “Baby Doll” flew out from your lips so confidently, he didn’t know what to say. “There’s no fuckin way you’d get that darlin. You’re too chicken shit to do somethin’ like that, you know your dad wouldn’t like it one bit.” You felt as if he was challenging you, and something inside you burned, you needed to prove him wrong. Joel had no idea what you were capable of doing. “We’ll see about that, Miller” you cooed as you walked away from the tattoo parlor, after you slyly typed their phone number from the window into your phone. 

That’s how you ended up here in this moment, panicking when your dad asks why you won’t get into the pool. “I just got this pool put together, honey. You really don’t wanna swim?” Your face got hot, maybe because of the slowly setting sun or because you knew he’d have questions about the ink on your lower back and you don’t have the guts to tell him it’s a nickname his best friend calls you from time to time when you’re intimate. 

“No, I'm good right now dad, thank you though!” You hollered back, trying to seem a little too ‘okay’. Joel sat next to you on the swing, you looked at him over your shoulder and told him you're going to get another beer from inside. “Alright baby, don’t get lost in there” He joked sarcastically which earned him a well deserved middle finger from you. The fridge was empty and it left you to be the one to refill it. As you bent over to restock the shelf, a hand gripped your ass cheek, causing you to gasp and drop the beer bottles in your hands. You turned fast to look behind you and there was Joel, standing there with his shirt half buttoned, covering his mouth to keep from laughing. “I’m sorry darlin’ I didn’t mean to scare you” You gave him a mock of his laughing and dryly said, “ Yeah I’m sure” Bending down to start cleaning the broken glass, Joel held the fridge door open for you so it didn’t keep hitting your backside when he let out a slight gasp, saying, “Sweet girl, what’s that on your back?” 

Your eyes looked straight ahead like there was a camera there to catch your reaction, and you knew you were fucked. He wasn’t supposed to see it, not yet anyway. Just as you rose to your feet, your dad walked in, asking if everything was okay. “I heard some stuff breakin, just wanted to make sure you’re alright honey” You gave your dad a quick smile, reassuring you were fine. Joel however didn’t look fine. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. You couldn’t help but feel like you had the upper hand on him. Your shoulder brushed against his as you made your way back outside to your seat from earlier. You told him you’d do it, and he didn't believe you. 

The night came to an end and you drove to Joels after leaving your dad, your bag to spend the night in the backseat of your car. He waited in his truck for you to arrive, walking in the house together. He hardly spoke to you since he saw the barbed wire heart tattoo on your backside with the words ‘Baby Doll’ inside of it in a really pretty gothic font. “Baby, I’m gonna go shower” you quietly told him, leaving a kiss against his scruffy cheek. The hot water beating down your back took your mind off everything from earlier. As you stood there with your arms crossed against your chest, you started wondering if it was a bad idea, doing that. You were pulled out of your thoughts when a hand had a fist full of your hair, pulling you towards a naked wet body. You whimpered out as you quickly found who’s chest you were flush against, his other hand over your mouth tightly. “You are fuckin crazy baby doll, do you realize that? Gettin that tattooed knowin your daddy’s gonna wonder who calls you that, ‘cause he sure doesn't” His voice purred in your ear, your eyes rolling back as you wiggled your ass against his growing cock. “Filthy fuckin’ girl. You got yourself branded with a name only I call you.” He tutted at you, his hand traveling from your mouth to your aching cunt. Your hand reached up behind you and into his dripping wet hair, moaning his name softly. 

He was almost to your clit when he nibbled your earlobe, telling you, “Show me the tattoo for real this time. You wanna be a big girl and get it, can’t be afraid to show me.” He was right even if you didn’t want to admit it. You scooted forward, letting him run his finger over it. He was quiet, which meant he either loved it, or he thought it looked bad. A groan came from him when he grabbed you and pinned you against the shower wall. “It’s a pretty tattoo, sugar, real pretty. You amaze me more and more everyday.” He abruptly connected his lips onto yours, his fingers latching onto your clit. You moaned in his mouth as you turned your face from him, wrapping your arms around his neck tighter as your needy clit was finally being paid attention to. 

Joel dipped his head to put a nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it before biting gently. You could’ve cum all over his hand right then and there had he kept that up. He knew how sensitive your nipples were and how it makes you want to go crazy. Joel let go of your nipple after teasing and sucking on it, seeing he had you right where he needed you. He grabbed your face roughly, his forehead meeting yours “You’re truly all mine, you get that? You won’t ever forget with that on your body, crazy girl. Fuck me, you’re so wet. Open your mouth” His hand never moved as you opened wide, not knowing what he was doing. He did something new, he spit in your mouth. 

He spit in your fucking mouth and moaned as he put his cock inside you. The water pooling at your feet lightly, the droplets beating over his shoulder. “You’re such a good girl,  I knew you’d like that” He praised as he sloppily kissed your jaw, trailing up and down your neck. He pumped into you, whimpering your name. “Fuck baby doll, how am I ‘sposed to last when you’re so fuckin tight for me? You don’t know how bad I wanted to fuck you right there at that fridge baby. Crazy girl got my nickname for her tattooed right above her ass, so I can see it every time I fuck this pretty hole” Joel knew what exactly to say to get you undone and become a horny slut for him. Your moans mixed deliciously, a deadly combination sometimes. “Joel I’m close baby keep going-fuck, don’t stop” You rolled your hips opposite of him and played with your nipples, giving a pinch as Joel went deeper and was hitting that one spot that ends you every time. Your legs started to move closer together, your body on the brink of bliss. Joel grunted, feeling your walls squeeze around him. “Yeah cum for me like a good girl, sweetheart. Play with that pretty pussy, don't stop until you cum” He grunted as he put your hand on your clit, thrusting harder. 

You couldn’t focus, it was all too much and you released all over him, screaming his name as your free hand found his hair and pulled with each wave of orgasm. Your mouth on his and he drank your moans, giving his to you. “Fuck I-I’m gonna cum darlin” Joel tossed his head back with a few more thrusts, he shoots his load into you, your name mixed with curses. You got down on your knees, sucking all your mixed juices off him. He leaned against the wall, groaning louder with each head bob you did. “You nasty little girl, tryna milk me dry. I’m fuckin empty, I left every last drop of cum inside your pretty little pussy that belongs to me, sweet heart.” He watched intently as you slapped his half hard tip on your tongue and chuckled before he helped you up. You finished your shower before Joel and told him to hurry up. Dried off and clothed, you sat at the kitchen table as you waited for him. He came down shortly afterwards, dressed and looking slutted out. “Ready for round two?” you playfully asked, and all he managed was, “Shut up, baby doll.”

[fairyofshampgyu]

Only Yours

genre: smut, college au

Pairing:  sub ! gyu x possessive dom! gn reader (afab when comes to smut)

Warnings: sub! beomgyu, dom! reader, possessiveness ?palming, handjob, riding,  kinda rough sex ig, dacryphilia

word count: 1.1k

Beomgyu walks across campus near where the the little pond and park was situated as he took the the time to embrace the surrounding nature; pretty lily pads sat on the water, coi fishes elegantly swimming in all kinds of directions and purple dragonflies hovering above with their transparent wings buzzing. He really did like this area of the campus. It was so pretty. And one of the first things he noticed that caught his eye to end up applying to the uni.

With his earphones in, he listened to music as he enjoyed the peaceful and quiet, scenic stroll, but that was abruptly interrupted as he felt a hand softly tap his shoulder.

Not being able to hear them, he took one of his wired buds out and swiftly turned around.

“Sorry?”

“Beomgyu right? We’ve sat next to each other in class a few times! I was… wondering if you wanted to get coffee sometime, you’re…you’re pretty cute!” They beamed, fidgeting with their hands uncertainly.

Beomgyu was taken aback, he can’t lie he’d never noticed this person in his class before ever, feeling pretty flattered right now. He can’t control the small smile taking up on his features, but ready to somehow politely and not awkwardly turn them down on their offer.

You were also near the campus pond, sitting on a bench nearby, waiting and waiting, and then finally excitedly noticing your boyfriend, realising he was chatting with someone else at the moment. Someone who was being a bit too close with your boyfriend than you would have liked.

It wouldn’t usually bother you, you know beomgyu is extremely attractive, taking pride in it, your relationship still fairly recent and you weren’t insecure about the lingering stares on him when you walked hand in hand to classes together, beomgyu completely oblivious to the hushed giggles once he walked past, but something about it today ticked you off the wrong way. Do people still not know he’s dating you?

You couldn’t help going up to them, running to beomgyu to embrace him in a hug from behind, resting your head on his shoulder as your hands made their way to grip on his waist-a little too tightly- “Baby! There you are, I was looking for you!” You press a kiss to his cheek.

Beomgyu stutters, slightly blushing and can’t help raising an eyebrow at your unlikely actions. You were never this affectionate or touchy to him in public much to his dismay sometimes, and you would rarely call him cute petnames in front of other people, not that he was complaining at all to this.

“Who’s this, baby?” You ask, clinging onto his arm, a bit too tight and he couldn’t help noticing you stepping in front of him a little bit as if protecting him, he tries to stifle a laugh at your antics.

“Oh, they’re just in my class.” Beomgyu replies, smiling.

“Hi…” The other person quickly shies away.

“Oh! um… nice to meet you! Baby, we’ve got to go we can’t be late for our date. Bye!” And with that you drag beomgyu by his arm, rushing and walking away from the other person before either of them could say anything.

Beomgyu bursts out laughing once you’re far away enough. “What was that? We don’t even have a date!” Beomgyu smirks and teases you. “Oh were you jealous y/n?”

“Shut up.” You mumble, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“It was pretty hot, you being possessive of me like that. And you should definitely call me ‘baby’ and be like that in public more often. That was so cute.” Beomgyu chuckles.

Beomgyu tries to keep up with your fast pace, hand tightly holding his and dragging him along. “Where we going anyway?”

“Your place.”

Once inside, you roughly push beomgyu on his bed and straddle his lap, pinning his hands above his head, making him gasp.

You attack his lips, kissing him with a fervour he hadn’t experienced before, trailing down and feverishly nipping at his sensitive neck, hands tangled in his hair, pulling it slightly, making beomgyu moan loudly, his usual smooth-talking demeanor replaced by incoherent stuttering.

“Y-y/n what are you—ah…that feels so good…”

You silence him with another kiss, your hand moving down to palm his clothed dick, his body jerks, whimpering your name.

You continue to palm him and lick and suck at his neck, reactions already so pretty. You take his dick out, covered in precum, stroking him which gets his moans even more high pitched, gasping at your every touch, never having seen you act like this towards him before and he can’t say he wasn’t absolutely enjoying it. Cum dribbling out of the tip of his dick constantly as you pump his dick whilst he pants, unable to do anything but moan.

You take your shirt off and your pants, positioning his dick to your pussy and sinking down on his wet dick, not giving him any time to even think before you’re relentlessly riding him, not starting off at a slow pace at all, still holding his wrists down tightly. Beomgyu’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he yelps, screaming your name out loud in surprise.

You don’t stop, roughly bouncing on his dick, wet sounds erupting the room from his cock pumping in and out of you but still not overtaking beomgyu’s loud sounds, his whole body prettily flushed, face so red.

If only everyone could see how beomgyu was like for you right now, at this moment you wanted them and beomgyu himself to get it in his head that you were only his, pretty face and pretty body only yours so why would they still stare at beomgyu like a piece of meat? It was starting to get under your skin honestly.

“Mmh, only mine aren’t you?...” You grab his chin roughly, making his fucked out face look you in the eyes as he groans in response.

“Say it.” You take one of your hands to roughly tug at his hair, beomgyu rolling his eyes at the feeling and stuttering.

“y-yes, yours…ah—I’m only yours! No one else’s…” Beomgyu obliges deliriously with half lidded eyes, finding you so hot right now.

“Good boy.”

Beomgyu eye’s widen, breath hitching, face turning somehow even redder, aroused by the name.

“Say it again…please…”

You smirk, leaning and brushing your lips against his ear, “You’re such a good boy.” Beomgyu only grows more and more flustered, seemingly liking the new pet name.

“I-I am?” Beomgyu’s voice shaky and barely above a whisper.

You chuckle, “Yeah, baby. My good boy.” You stroke his hot cheek with your thumb, bringing your lips back to beomgyu’s, kissing and sucking and biting at his swollen lips.

You mercilessly ride his cock against your gummy walls at a violent and aggressive pace, beomgyu’s head hitting against his bed at your thrusts. Your tits prettily bouncing in front of his face and he reaches his hand out to grope them.

“I-I can’t y/n…need to cum—fuck!” Beomgyu can’t even keep his eyes level at this point, continuously rolling back on their own with tears blurring his vision even more, seeing stars when his hot thick cum gushes inside you none stop, beomgyu’s body trembling and shaking like a leaf.

You hold his hand and he grips on with his life, even his hands shaky as he tries to recover from his high, mind in a daze and panting wildly as he looks up at you prettily with wide watery eyes still in shock.

You carry on after he’s calmed down though, fucking him rough, not stopping until all you remember is beomgyu’s loud cries and screams of your name, the only thing beomgyu able to give out tears and cum continuously, milking him spent until there’s no tears falling from his eyes or cum spurting from his dick left and his throat is all hoarse. Beomgyu’s dorm walls so thin you can only imagine what other people can hear.

You kinda want other people to hear beomgyu moaning your name though.

“Wake up sleepyhead, you’re gonna miss your class.” Beomgyu flicks your forehead.

“Ow! What the fuck?” You place your hand to your head, rubbing the area. Beomgyu chuckles, but replaces your hand with a kiss on your forehead instead and then peppers some more kisses on your face, flopping his head to muzzle in your neck again. “How come you’re not rushing to get up?” You raise a brow, curiously.

“I don’t have any classes which means I can sleep in as much as I like.” Beomgyu grins triumphantly, doing a little short sleepy victory dance.

“Lucky.” You grimace.

“Oh my god—look how many fucking marks you left on me last night!” Beomgyu pouts, showing you the dozens of bruises and hickeys scattered all on his body. “Someone definitely had fun. I didn’t know you were so scandalous like that, y/n.” He dramatically gasps, teasing you.

“Well you look so pretty marked up like that. How can I not?” You say, unapologetic.

“I think it’s safe to say that it’s pretty clear now to everyone that I’m in a relationship.”

“Maybe I’ll leave even more before I go.” You grin, turning to tilt his chin up and pull him in a kiss. “Don’t cover them.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Beomgyu grins.

Please !!! reblog !!! & !!! comment !!! if you like the fic. Feedback is always so nice. It’s really appreciated and so so nice if you do tysm !<3🙏💕😊 🌷It’s discouraging and sad when fics have such little reblogs 👎🤨🤨:(

[russo-woso]

I just want to feel something | Alessia Russo

Warning smut, MDNI

First smut so I’m a bit nervous about this one.

Let me know what you think

————————

You always loved going to England camps. You felt at home when you were with them. You felt at home when you were with her.

Her being Alessia Russo.

You'd grown up with Alessia in the youth age groups but somehow, you'd never really spoken to her.

Sure you had spoken to her briefly after a match, telling her how well she had played but you couldn't remember a time where you'd spoken to her about anything apart from football.

You had always wanted to talk to her but you'd always change your mind at the last second. With your heart beating unusually fast and sweat gathering on your forehead, you'd figure that it wasn't worth it for you knew she didn't like you.

This time at camp though, you had made a promise to yourself. You were going to speak to Alessia.

And that's what you had done. Well, attempted to anyway.

Your heart had begun to thump in your chest as you watched her from across the relaxation room.

She was sat with Ella, laughing and smiling about whatever they were talking about.

You looked into her eyes. They were glistening in the light. They were perfect, just like her. You felt as though you could get lost in them forever.

As you continued to examine her features, you watched Tooney get up, leaving Alessia by herself.

At this point, it was just you, Alessia, Millie and Rachel in the room.

Millie and Rach were deep in conversation whilst Alessia had turned towards the match that was on the TV.

The smile that was on her face two minutes ago was gone. The glistening in her eyes had gone. It seemed as though you were looking at a completely different person.

You didn't know where the confidence had come from, but with one final breath, you stood up and moved to sit next to Alessia.

"You okay? You seem to be, I don't know how to describe it. Out of it?" You asked, a calming tone in your voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Alessia turned towards you, a small reassuring smile on her face.

The smile seemed to disappear far too quickly though.

"I know we don't really know each other well, but I'm always here, okay?" You tell her, placing your hand on the centre of her back.

"Thank you, Y/N." Again, she looked at you, giving you a small smile before turning her attention back to the match. "Actually, Y/N, can I tell you something?"

"Anything, Less."

"I feel-" She began but a strong accent cut her off.

"-Less, I went to get us a cuppa but there was a massive spider in the kitchen." Ella came bouncing into the room. You couldn't understand how she was so energetic. Everyone had done so much in training to the fact that some people were having an afternoon sleep, but Ella was still bouncing off the walls. "Sorry, were you two talking?"

"We were but it's nothing serious. I'll see you around, Y/N." Alessia said and you removed your hand from her back.

"Yeah, see you around." And with that, you got up and left, heading straight to your room.

You didn't feel like talking to anyone. You didn't even go down for dinner. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you forgot.

The sad look on Alessia's face clouded your head. The different possibilities of what she was going to say. The way the conversation would have gone if Tonney hadn't interrupted.

The thoughts wouldn't leave your mind.

That was until a small knock echoed throughout your room.

You got off your bed, quickly glancing at the clock that read 22:48, before opening the door.

You didn't really know who you were expecting to open the door to, but it certainly wasn't the blonde forward.

"Alessia?"

"Hi, sorry, I know it's late, but the conversation we had earlier hasn't left my mind and I feel like we need to finish it." She said rather quickly, scratching the back of neck as she said it.

"No it's okay. I can't get to sleep so it's fine. Come in." You opened the door more so she could walk in.

Once she had entered, you both stood awkwardly looking at each other.

"I don't really know why I came here. I just — you're different from everyone else. I feel like you'd actually listen to me. Actually, no, it's unfair for me to put this all on you. I'm sorry for com—" Alessia began to walk out but you grabbed ahold of her wrist, pulling her back towards you.

"—Alessia, I meant what I said earlier. I'm always here. If you want to talk, you can. I'm here to listen." You told her, rubbing your thumb across her hand to comfort her.

"I don't know how to describe how I feel. I just feel so alone. I feel empty. Since I left United, I've felt as though I've left my whole life behind. My life was in Manchester and I don't know if I'll be able to create a new life in London. It's such a big change and I don't know if I can do it. I just have no emotions that are good. I just want to feel something." Alessia admitted, tears running down her face as you brought her in for a hug.

"Oh, lessi. I promise you, you'll find a life in London. I did. I moved from Manchester city to Chelsea. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'd been with city for four years and then I made the final decision and I restarted my whole entire life at Chelsea. It was so hard. So so hard. But I learnt to value the new beginning. It's gets better, I promise." You said to her, wiping her tears away.

"Thank you, Y/N."

"You've got such beautiful eyes, less." You complimented her, watching a small smile appear on her face.

"You've got a beautiful smile." She said back, similarly, a small smile appearing on your face, along with a red pigment in your cheeks.

"Alessia, you said you wanted to feel something. Would you feel something if I did this?" You asked, cautiously as you began to move towards her.

You got to the point where you could feel her breath on your face.

You made eyes contact with her before flickering down to her lips.

What surprised you the most, wasn't the fact that you were about to kiss Alessia. It was that Alessia had made the final movement to connect you two.

The kiss was gentle. Both too cautious to even move in case you overwhelmed one another.

You pulled away at the same time, smiles on both your faces.

"I've wanted to do that for such a long time." Alessia admitted, your heart missing a beat as she said it.

"Me too." You agreed, pausing and taking a few breaths. "Alessia, I really like you and I don't want that to be a one off."

"I really like you too." She whispered against your lips.

This time the kiss was lustful. There was a sense of desperation from the both of you.

I mean who'd blame you? You and Alessia had been waiting for this moment for years.

The kiss continued, getting messy and sloppy.

Eventually, after fighting for dominance of the kiss, Alessia won and picked you up.

Your legs wrapped around her waist as her hands were under your thighs supporting you up.

She walked you up against the wall, moving her lips down to your neck.

The whines that left your mouth as she sucked on your pulse point made it clear to Alessia what you wanted.

"Can I take this off?" Alessia asked, putting you down and playing with the hem of your shirt.

"Yes please." You said, Alessia putting you down so she could take it off.

After a strip show of you both taking your clothes off, barely being able to take your lips off one another, you allowed Alessia to move her lips down to your collarbone.

"You're gorgeous, Y/N." Alessia whispered in your ear as she pressed a final kiss to your neck.

"So are you, lessi."

"I'm gonna pick you up, okay, baby?" Alessia asked you, her voice all husky.

You nodded in approval and she pressed two hands on your ass and lifted you up with ease.

She walked you over to the bed, putting you down gently before climbing on top of you.

"Lessi, baby, please." You whine as her hands explored your hips.

Her lips started trailing down from your neck to your torso.

You let out a gasp as you felt her mouth around your nipple.

As she continued down your body, she caressed every small detail of you.

Kissing scars from the injuries of past games, noting down where you enjoyed her mouth, memorising the small noises that left your mouth.

As Alessia approached your core, she looked up at you one more time.

Without her even saying anything, you understood what she meant and you sent a  desperate nod to her.

She grabbed ahold of your thighs, stroking her thumb across them before sliding her tongue between your folds.

You bucked your hips into her face and tangled your hand in her hair.

Alessia moaned at the taste of you, the vibrations making you whimper.

"That feels so good, lessi baby." You moaned and Alessia increased her pace.

You were so confused. Less than ten minutes ago, you were lost in your own thoughts. Thinking about what Alessia was going to say.

And now, she was here with her head in between your legs.

You couldn't think straight though, the pleasure had taken over your whole entire body.

You felt numb from it, a good numb.

"Fuck, baby, I'm close." You managed to get out as Alessia's tongue continued to flick at your clit.

Alessia detached her tongue from your clit, and instead stuck two fingers inside you.

"Does that feel good, baby?" She asked you, leaning down to kiss your collarbone.

"So good, lessi."

"Fuck, I love it when you say my name." She said and a familiar knot appeard in your stomach.

"Shit. 'm gonna cum, less."

"Cum for me, love." Alessia said and with that, your high came tumbling on you.

Your head fell back against the pillow, your eyes slamming shut.

You felt your legs begin to shake and a mix of curse words and Alessia's name slipped out of your mouth.

Once you'd calmed down and your heart rate had started coming back to normal, Alessia laid down next to you, staring up at the ceiling.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." She revealed, turning her head to look at you.

"Me too." You admitted, before the room was filled with silence.

A small giggle left your mouth and Alessia looked at you with a confused look.

"What are you laughing at, baby?"

"This. Ten minutes ago you were telling me how alone you felt and now you're laying down next to me after giving me a mind blowing orgasm." You explained and a smile appeared on Less' face.

"Thank you Y/N for taking my mind off of things."

"You seriously don't have to thank me. I think you already did." You replied, a smirk resting on your face before getting serious again. "Less, I know you might feel alone. But please know that you're not. I'm always here for you. I want to be there for you. I know it's not easy but I'll be with you wherever life takes you."

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend? I'm sorry if it's really sudden but I feel like you're one of the only people who truly get me. You're kind, you're beautiful, you're thoughtful. And I think I've been in love with you for years but I've just been too afraid to ask you. It's fine if you say no. I know it's—" Alessia started to ramble but you simply smiled at her.

Her cheeks were red and her blonde hair was in her face.

You knew you were already in love with her. You had been for years.

"I'd love to, lessi." You placed a piece of her hair behind her ear and placed your lips on hers, connecting you two into a gently kiss.

"You know, I can't feel my legs." You told less as you pulled away.

"That's what you think about? We were having a really romantic moment then and all you can think about is how you can't feel your legs?" Alessia questioned, laughing at your randomness.

"Well yeah, we've got training tomorrow and it's gonna be bad if I turn up with loads of hickeys and the fact that I can't walk." You explained as she continued to laugh.

"I think it's a job well done to me then."

"It's sure is, baby."

[helloalycia]

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

one / two / four / masterlist / wattpad

summary: you find out the reason why Jeff cheated, you and Jackie start to spend more time together and a familiar face makes a return...

warning/s: mentions of cheating.

author's note: here’s part 3! glad you’re all enjoying this one and sorry it’s posted a bit late, i’ve been fasting so time has been a whirlwind lately lmao

After reconciling with Jackie, our relationship returned to normal, or at least as normal as it could be now that she wasn't dating my brother.

Whenever we saw each other around, she'd smile or greet me, and I her. We'd make small talk every now and then, and I accepted that this was how it would be from now on. There was no need for her to make an effort with me anymore, as sad as that was.

One day after school, I was practicing with the Music teacher and school orchestra for the school play that was happening next month. It was relatively new, but I was enjoying it. Afterwards, as I was walking to my car, I noticed the Yellowjackets leaving the field and heading in the same direction. That was where I saw Jackie, chatting with Taissa but waving at me when she saw me. By chance, we fell into step with one another.

"Hey," I said with a smile, before glancing at Taissa. "Hey, Tai, how are you?"

"Good, just tired from practice," she said, returning my smile. "You?"

"Band rehearsal," I answered, motioning to the guitar case on my back. "Tired too."

She snickered. "Nice." Then she looked to Jackie and added, "Wanna give me your bag and I'll meet you at my car?"

"Thanks, Tai," Jackie said to her, before she jogged off to the parking lot to throw their bags in. Her attention returned to me as she said, "So, band rehearsal?"

"It's for the school play," I clarified.

"You? Acting?" she teased, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Hilarious," I said, shooting her a look. "I'm in the orchestra."

"Ah, that makes more sense," she played along. "Though seeing you up on stage in some Shakespearean garb would've been quite the sight."

"You wish," I mumbled, making her laugh. "So, how was practice?"

She shrugged. "Not bad."

But judging by the sideways glance she gave to Shauna, who was walking to her car also, I knew things weren't great.

"Everything still weird?" I asked sympathetically.

Jackie sighed, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. How could it not be? I lost my best friend and boyfriend in one fell swoop." I frowned, unsure what to say to make her feel better, but she shook her head and tried to change the subject. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"It does," I said softly.

"It's just awkward at practice now," she admitted. "And it's not supposed to be. I'm the captain and I can't even look Shauna in the eye. I'm still upset, but what can I do? I have to get over it for the team."

If Jeff hadn't gone about this the way he did, none of this would be happening. Would he have done something different if he knew the repercussions of his actions?

"I'm sorry," I said, smiling sadly. "I wish I could help somehow."

She relaxed her shoulders and gave me a small smile. "You are."

I disagreed, but she was stubborn, so I didn't comment.

"Anyway, I'm tired from practice now, but we haven't had a proper catch up since...," she started, but paused, unsure how to mention the cheating thing. "Yeah. Do you want to come 'round to mine tomorrow?"

My eyebrows raised, not expecting her to say that. And as much as I wanted to accept, I couldn't tomorrow.

"Not to sound like a nerd, but I have homework," I said with a slight chuckle.

"Oh, I can help," she offered, before smiling cockily. "I've done it all before, remember?" I laughed at her eagerness, and her amusement was replaced with sincerity as she continued, "Just because Jeff isn't in my life now, doesn't mean you don't have to be. I'm still here for you, y'know."

Hearing her say this warmed my heart and put any doubts I had about our relationship to rest. Maybe I wasn't just Jeff's little sister after all.

"I know," I confirmed. "I'm happy to stop by tomorrow. Thanks, Jackie."

She flashed me a smile, and I tried not to get distracted by how beautiful she was. Jeff was pretty stupid, wasn't he?

—

As time went on between Jackie and I, it felt like we actually became friends and not just circumstantial acquaintances. I tried my best to be there for her, both because I wanted to be and also because it felt right after my brother was the reason for her hurt. She never visited my place because Jeff lived there and she didn't want to see him, so I'd stop by hers if we hung out outside of school.

She never spoke more on the Shauna/Jeff situation, even when I knew she hadn't properly talked to either of them since finding out. Despite it all, I knew she missed Shauna, her best friend, but it was all still fresh and I just guessed she was bottling it away for now. I wondered how long she'd last like that – maybe forever – until she finally broke.

A few weeks later, a month after they'd broken up, I was watching a Yellowjackets game with Jeff at school. As always, they'd dominated the game with a 3-0 advantage and the crowd were on the pitch celebrating in no time. My plan was to congratulate Jackie, glad she'd worked on whatever problems had been developing in practice, when I noticed Jeff had wandered off in a different direction. I didn't really pay him much attention as I scanned the pitch for Jackie.

"Jackie!" I called over the noise of the crowd when I spotted her.

She wasn't looking at me, her expression dropping as she looked right past me. I followed her gaze, realising she was staring at Jeff who was hugging Shauna. I raised my brows with surprise, not realising they'd made it official now, and then he kissed her and she let him and I didn't know what to think. It felt inappropriate considering everything, but they didn't seem to care. Maybe they'd deemed a month long enough before going public.

I looked back to Jackie, whose jaw was clenched as she glared at them, and then before I could go to her, she stormed off angrily. I cursed inwardly, glancing at Jeff and Shauna once more – they hadn't noticed, too enamoured by one another.

Following after Jackie, I ran off the pitch and saw a streak of blonde heading back into the school. Worried, I chased after her, catching sight of her running down the hall.

"Jackie, wait up!" I called after her, breathless. Geez, was I really this unfit?

She kept running, going to the locker room and slamming the door behind her. I sighed, letting myself in, and she spun around at my entry. Tears were streaming down her face and she hastily attempted to wipe them away, making my chest hurt.

"What is it?" she asked calmly, though her hands were shaking.

I frowned. "I didn't know he was... seeing her now."

Feigning indifference, she said, "What does it matter? Obviously it was going to happen. They didn't fucking cheat for nothing, right?"

"Not so soon though."

She smiled bitterly, squeezing her hand into a fist as she tried to collect herself. But the tears were welling in her eyes again, and then she suddenly punched the locker angrily.

"Fuck him!" she yelled, startling me, before hitting the locker again. "Why does he get to be happy when I'm not?! How is that fair when he did the bad thing?!"

I let her calm down, figuring she needed to get her frustration out somehow, and then she frowned to herself, lips trembling.

"It's not," I agreed. "You're right."

She hugged herself, tears rolling down her cheeks silently. "If I'd just slept with him, if I hadn't waited, maybe he'd...," she began to mumble to herself, but stopped.

I was both grossed out and furious when I heard this. I'd never known the reason for their breakups, but this wasn't what I'd expected. And now Jeff had got what he wanted whilst Jackie was left to question everything. God, if I wasn't annoyed at him before, I definitely was now.

"No," I told her, irritated, but at my idiot brother. "That's not the right way to think. What he did was horrible. Whether or not that was the reason, he shouldn't have cheated. He's a coward, Jackie, and you shouldn't be here upset thinking about what ifs."

She shook her head, voice stuck in her throat, and then looked at me with glistening eyes. It broke my heart, seeing a usually confident and sure-of-herself girl broken at the hands of some guy.

"Oh, Jackie," I said sympathetically, stepping forward to hug her.

She fell into my arms, hiding her head in my shoulder and sniffling quietly. I didn't let go, one arm around her as the other rubbed circles on her back.

"You deserved better than him anyway," I told her quietly, lips moving against her hair. "I love him, he's my brother, but it wasn't right what he did."

She didn't reply, but she didn't make a move to leave either, so we stayed like that until I led her to the bench between the lockers, still entwined. Her sniffling lessened and the wet spot on my shoulder grew cold when she finally pulled back; her hand found mine and she didn't let go.

"Thank you," her voice came out as an unintentional whisper, making her clear her throat. "Things have just been so hard. Shauna was my person, and I'm just– I'm so hurt by her actions."

"I can imagine," I said, squeezing her hand gently. After a pause, eyes taking in her red, swollen ones with concern, I asked, "D'you think you'd ever forgive her?"

She exhaled shakily. "I don't know."

I nodded, waiting for her to take a breath. She let go of my hand finally, wiping away the remaining tears on her face before growing embarrassed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry on you," she apologised. "You definitely didn't sign up for this."

"It's alright," I assured her. "I'm just worried about you."

She looked down at her hands, knuckles red from punching the locker. "All that talk about me being there for you and, really, it was me who needed you."

I cracked a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Well, the extent of your support was tutoring me in French, and you're shit at that. Pas bon du tout (not good at all)."

She let out a laugh, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Making her laugh after she'd just cried, admiring the way her eyes glistened with tears but in a way that made them sparkle because of her momentary happiness... I'd never seen anything like it.

"I'm gonna pretend I understood that," she spoke with a raspy voice, before hugging me once more.

"C'mon," I encouraged, standing up and pulling her with me. "This isn't how you should be celebrating your victory. You're the team captain for crying out loud!" She smiled, and I continued, "Don't you usually go to those after parties?"

She pushed her fringe from her eyes. "I'm not really in the mood. Shauna and Jeff will probably be there...”

"Okay, how about celebrating with the girls?" I asked, not wanting to upset her so quickly.

Judging from her expression, I knew they'd be at the party too, so that was out. I pursed my lips, trying to think of a way to cheer her up, and then decided to just do it myself.

"Right, get ready and then meet me outside," I instructed.

"What?"

I was already heading to the door as I answered, "I'm taking you out. My treat."

She tilted her head, giving me a knowing look. "You don't have to do that."

I shrugged. "I want to."

She sighed deeply, smile curving on her lips gratefully.

As promised, I took Jackie out that evening, treating her to some ice cream at the fancy parlour in town and buying her whatever she liked. We talked about everything and anything, and I hoped that, for at least a moment, she could forget all about Jeff and Shauna.

—

It took a while after Jeff and Shauna had gone public with their relationship for Jackie to finally accept it and try to move on. Personally, I don't think I could have had it in me to be the bigger person, but when Jackie came to me telling me she wanted to clear the air with them, I knew she'd made up her mind.

Ultimately, it was her choice and I was happy that she finally felt like she was in a place where she could move on. Whatever she'd said to them had done wonders for her, as she no longer avoided my house anymore when she wanted to hang out, and I sometimes saw her talking to Shauna without staring daggers into the side of her head. It was progress I never thought I'd see.

Shortly after that, Shauna brought it upon herself to try and fix things with me. We'd never talked much before, but since she was Jeff's new girlfriend, she must have felt she needed to make things right. That was one awkward conversation, and I was still upset at her for how she'd handled the situation, but I knew that if Jackie could forgive her, then so could I.

So, that was how everything had settled into a new 'normal'. My friendship with Jackie had grown stronger and I was on somewhat good terms with my brother and Shauna, and I guess that was all I could need right now. Of course, that didn't change the fact that I still had a massive crush on Jackie, and anytime she'd show any interest in me, I grew flustered.

Take this one time when she was sat in the school theatre, waiting for me to finish up practice for the school play after school. It was in two weeks and we were doing final run-throughs with the music and acting together. Jackie was only here because we had plans to grab food afterwards, since she'd finished soccer practice today too.

After what felt like forever, the Drama teacher finally dismissed us all and I joined Jackie by the exit.

"That was actually pretty good," she said when she saw me, nodding to the stage where the other students were finishing up.

"It's not a bad play," I said with a shrug, before shouldering my guitar case. "You planning to get tickets?"

At this, she looked to me with a smirk. "Well, of course. Gotta support you, right?"

She was teasing me and I began to grow warm at the way she was staring at me, and then she was grinning at my reaction and I avoided her stare. Times like these were when I really wished I could get over her.

—

I was cleaning out my bedroom, per my mum's request as she wanted to do a spring clean even though it was the middle of the summer, when I heard Jeff calling me from his room.

"Coming!" I called back, before dropping what I was doing to see what he wanted.

If my room was a tip, his was much worse. But when he saw me, he had a neatly collated box of items in hand, holding it out to me.

"What's this?" I asked, accepting the box that he practically thrust in my arms. When I looked inside, I saw some girly items that definitely weren't his.

"They're Jackie's," he answered awkwardly. "It's just some stuff she left behind that I never got around to returning. I'd go, but I think it might be better if you do."

"Right," I breathed out, before nodding. "I'll sort it."

He offered me a small smile. "Thanks, Y/N."

I gave Jackie's house number a call, ending up in a polite conversation with her mother who loved to talk my ear off and, of course, ask about Jeff who she still wasn't letting go of. After I finally got to the point of my call, she encouraged me to stop by so I thanked her and made my way over to the Taylor residence, only planning to make a quick trip.

When I rang their doorbell however, nobody answered. I rang it another time and even knocked a few times, but there was nothing. And then I fell silent as I heard a faint beat playing from somewhere. Following the sound of the music, I found myself walking around to the garden, realising there was a pool party going on. The Yellowjackets were all here from what I could see, some lying on sun beds whilst others played in the pool. Music was blaring from some speakers and they all seemed to be having the time of their life in the sun.

"Y/N, hey!" I heard Jackie, and searched the space to find her in the pool.

My mouth went dry when I saw her climbing out, only in her two-piece swimwear. As she approached me with a smile, I was certain I'd forgotten how to breathe, unsure where to look because it all seemed inappropriate. Her hair was wet, water droplets rolling down her tanned skin, and I wouldn't have been surprised if I had a heart attack from how hot she looked there and then.

"My mum said you were stopping by," she said, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

I looked at her eyes and only her eyes, hoping my face wasn't as hot as the sun felt right now. "Yeah, I rang the doorbell but nobody answered."

"My bad, sorry," she said with a laugh. "I'm having a team pool party. Team building and all that. The music must have been too loud."

"It's all good," I said quickly. "Erm, I've got some of your things. You left it at ours when you were... yeah."

At the implication of Jeff, her smile faded naturally. Glancing at the box, she nodded gratefully.

"You alright to follow me?" she asked, grabbing her towel from the chair.

"Sure."

As she led the way, some of the girls said their hellos when I walked past, and then Jackie led me through her mansion of a home before settling in the kitchen.

"You can just leave it on the table over there," she said, nodding to the dining table whilst drying herself with her towel.

All I could do was nod as I went to set it down, and then she was suddenly behind me, the scent of chlorine and suncream washing over me.

"I was wondering where that necklace was," she said with amusement, looking over my shoulder and down at the necklace at the top of the box.

I shivered at how close she was, acutely aware of her minimal clothing and trying so hard not to let my eyes wander.

"You seem nervous, are you okay?" she asked, before walking to the fridge. "You want a drink?"

I swallowed hard, shaking my head. "No, sorry, I've gotta go finish cleaning the house with my mum. It's just hot out."

She smirked, clearly aware of the effect she was having on me, but I was too flustered to comment on it.

"That's too bad," she said with a pout. "You can stay if you want."

I waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, it's a team thing. I'll be okay."

She chuckled, eyeing me curiously, probably noticing the way I couldn't even meet her gaze anymore. "C'mon. I'll walk you out."

I followed her as she led me back into the garden, where the others were still having the time of their life. Jackie stopped and flashed me another picture perfect smile.

"Have fun cleaning," she said, patting my shoulder. "Maybe next time, yeah?"

I nodded, suddenly finding the space behind her head very interesting. She hugged me, making me freeze at the contact of both her body and the water on my clothes. She had to be doing this on purpose, surely.

"See you later," she said sweetly, eyelashes fluttering.

I nodded, quickly backing up, and stupidly almost slipping into the pool as I grew distracted by her yet again.

She laughed, warning, "Be careful!"

I smiled awkwardly, before taking extra care to leave without making even more of a fool of myself. Could you blame me? The last thing I needed right now was to be in close proximity of a half dressed Jackie Taylor.

—

Jackie Taylor was on everyone's radar, even when she was taken by Jeff, so I should have expected someone to make their move once enough time had passed since their breakup. Still, knowing it would happen didn't make it any easier to witness.

There was a fair in the park and the band and I had secured a gig there, playing a few sets during the evening. We played some covers and a few originals, the first we'd ever performed that I'd written. It was surreal, but everybody seemed to like it which made the smile permanent on my face the whole time.

After our first set, we all went offstage to take a quick break, and that was when Jackie found me. It was the first I'd seen her all evening, since she'd arrived with her friends and I was busy up until now.

"Y/N, you were amazing up there!" she complimented as soon as she saw me, pulling me in for a hug.

"Thanks, Jackie," I said appreciatively, returning her hug. "How long have you been here?"

"Your whole set," she said with a smile. "And would you look at that – I finally heard some original songs."

My cheeks grew warm as she shot me a teasing smile.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me who they're about?" she asked innocently, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.

"You supposed correctly," I retorted with a knowing look, making her curse quietly with defeat. I laughed and added, "Look, I appreciate your curiosity, but maybe they're just songs, d'you ever consider that?"

She eyed me suspiciously, smile ever present. "I guess... but I've got my eye on you, Y/N."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly, hoping she couldn't hear my heart racing in my chest. Green-brown eyes met mine, sparkling with mischief, and I forced myself to endure, not wanting to raise suspicion. Hopefully she'd never find out they were all about her.

After chatting with her on my break for a little longer, I rejoined the band onstage and performed a few more songs. It was easier to spot Jackie in the crowd now that I knew where I was looking, and she looked so cute as she stood there with her friends, dancing along to the music. It was almost a dream, and then it wasn't. Because as I was performing, I noticed some guy talking to her, the flirting very obvious even from where I was stood.

I tried to stay focused, purposely avoiding looking in her direction, but I couldn't help myself. My eyes would drift back over to her, and that damn guy was still there, trying his luck as she entertained it for a bit. I knew I never had a chance with her, but seeing the girl you liked chatting to another guy was always a kick in the teeth, especially when it meant she wasn't paying you any attention anymore.

After a few more songs, the band and I called it a night and wanted to enjoy the fair together. Jackie was still being talked to by that guy, so I attempted to ignore it and focused on having a nice night out with my friends.

After playing a few carnival games and going on some rides, Jackie found me again, standing with my friends as Y/BF/N bought some ice cream for herself.

"Hey, guys, nice performance tonight," Jackie complimented the others, who chorused their gratitude. She added, "You mind if I steal Y/N away for a bit?"

"Oh, no, go for it!" Tommy insisted with a grin, tugging the others away before I could protest.

I sighed as Jackie flashed me an enthusiastic smile. "I've been dying to go on the bumper cars. Wanna come?"

"I, er, I'm not really in the mood," I said, possibly being a little petty but I couldn't help it, I was just sad.

"Oh, c'mon, it'll be fun!" she exclaimed, shaking my arm. "You're not seriously gonna leave me hanging, are you?"

I chewed on my lip as she watched me hopefully, and it only made me realise how stupid I was being. She couldn't help it if a guy wanted to hang out with her, and I definitely had no right to be jealous. I'd watched her be my brother's girlfriend all these years, surely I could live with the fact that she'd inevitably get another boyfriend and I'd never have a chance with her.

Before I could give in and agree, the guy from earlier approached us again, checking Jackie out in a not so subtle way.

"Hey, Jackie," he said with a smile, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, jealousy returning in an instant. "You wanna go on the ferris wheel with me?"

I crossed my arms and looked away momentarily, anticipating the part where she'd say yes and this would all be for nothing.

"I appreciate you asking, Matt, but no thanks," she said politely.

"Oh," he said with surprise, and then grew awkward, probably not expecting her to decline. "Okay."

He left soon enough, embarrassed, and I glanced at Jackie with suspicion.

"Why not?"

She looked back to me, quirking a brow. "Huh?"

I motioned in his direction. "Why didn't you wanna go with him? He was flirting with you earlier, wasn't he?"

She suppressed a smile, eyes meeting mine with amusement. "Because I'm trying to hang out with you, idiot, if you'd only say yes."

My gaze flickered to the ground sheepishly as she let out a quiet chuckle.

"Bumper cars," I confirmed. "Sure."

Her smile widened. "Awesome. C'mon."

I let her drag me to the bumper cars, lightening up as we spent some time together. The longer the evening went on, the less this 'Matt' guy was gnawing at me, because Jackie chose me and that was something, right? We went on rides, played some stupid fair games at her insistence, despite them definitely being rigged, and she forced me to win her a prize even when I lost several times. But all in all, she was happy, and so was I, and I suppose that was all that mattered in the moment.

—

The first night of the school play was finally upon us and I was backstage getting ready when Jackie paid me a visit, surprising me with a bouquet of flowers.

"These are for me?" I asked with genuine surprise.

"What is it they say in showbiz? Break a leg?" she asked rhetorically, before laughing at her own joke.

I smiled to myself as I looked down at the flowers in my hand. "Jackie, they're beautiful. Nobody's ever got me flowers before."

She tilted her, confused. "Well, that's not right."

I chuckled, gaze falling to her. "Thank you."

Heart warming in my chest, I pulled her into a hug with my free hand, grateful for her support.

"You deserve it," she said simply, before squeezing me tight then letting go. "I should go find my seat. I'll be right at the front where you can see me."

I laughed. "I'll keep an eye out. Thanks, Jackie."

She flashed me a smile before leaving to find her seat, and I couldn't stop smiling as the Drama teacher briefed us once more before final call.

The show went on with few hiccups, probably the best run we'd ever done, and the audience seemed to love it, giving us a huge round of applause. When the orchestra got their own special shout-out, I caught sight of my family in the middle, applauding, and then Jackie, who was cheering me on so loudly at the front that I couldn't help but flush with embarrassment.

Once the curtains closed, the orchestra had to go backstage for another word with the teachers before we were finally alright to leave. I found my family waiting for me at the back of the theatre and walked by the other students receiving praise from their families.

"There she is!" Jeff exclaimed when he saw me, grabbing my shoulder and squeezing it supportively.

I smiled as my parents pulled me in for a hug and congratulated me on the show.

"Thanks, guys, thanks for coming," I said gratefully, looking between them all. "You really didn't have to. I wasn't even in the show."

"Nonsense," my mum said with a wave of her hand. "You played beautifully, sweetie."

I breathed out deeply, both embarrassed and appreciative of their support. And then Jeff's expression dropped and I realised Jackie was approaching, flashing my parents a smile.

"Jackie, how lovely to see you," my mum greeted her. "You're here for Y/N too?"

"Yes, she did great, didn't she?" Jackie asked, putting an arm around my shoulder playfully.

"She did," my dad replied with a proud smile, before raising the flowers Jackie got me in the air. "And thanks for the flowers. It was kind of you to get them for her."

"Anytime," Jackie said with a shrug, before looking to me. "Are you free now or d'you have plans?"

Before I could respond, my mum insisted I celebrate with Jackie, trusting her. Since her breakup with Jeff, Jackie was still a favourite of my parents, understandably so. After saying our goodbyes, I was left with Jackie, who seemed excited about something.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her with amusement.

"I wanna hang out, my treat," she said nonchalantly.

My smile grew. "Seriously?"

She linked arms with me and began leading me to the door. "Seriously."

And that was how we ended up at the arcade that evening, with Jackie keeping to her word and rinsing all her pocket money on the arcade machines that were definitely a waste but she didn't seem to mind. We played air hockey, skeeball, a zombie shooter game and a bunch of other stuff that I didn't think she liked, and it was awesome.

After spending over an hour messing around, she generously bought me dinner there, some burgers and fries, and I was certain I was dreaming.

"You have your own ketchup, y'know," I said with raised brows when she dipped her fries into mine.

"I ate it and there's none left in the bottle," she claimed, before going in for another dip.

"Then ask for another bottle!" I exclaimed between a laugh, pulling my tray away.

"Quit being selfish!" she retorted with a grin, before leaning over the table to land a swipe.

"Jackie!" I scolded, and she winked as she ate her fry.

I rolled my eyes at her petulance before recognising someone behind her, approaching our direction. After a double take, I realised it was Eve Perkins, captain of the Lions soccer team and the girl Jackie utterly despised. The memory of the party from last year came to mind, including the whole argument I had with Jackie afterwards, and I suddenly prayed Eve wasn't here to cause trouble.

"Okay, don't freak out, but Eve Perkins is heading this way," I said calmly.

Jackie was surprised, straightening up in her seat and dying to turn around, but she kept her cool. "I won't."

"So, let me get this straight," Eve said as soon as she stopped by our table, looking down at Jackie with irritation. "You freak out at me for hanging with a sophomore, only to hang out with her yourself? What? Was her brother not enough?"

I almost choked on my drink at the abruptness of her words, worrying when I saw Jackie beginning to clench her jaw and fix Eve with a glare.

"Firstly, that's none of your business," she said lowly. "And secondly, you bitch."

I sighed inwardly, already expecting an argument, and Eve laughed bitterly.

"Tell me, Jackie. You still worried we're gonna beat you next week?" she asked condescendingly.

"Not worried at all," Jackie said through gritted teeth, reaching for her drink to calm down.

Eve smirked with satisfaction before looking to me. "Y'know, it's a shame you're hanging out with her still. You were cute. And you definitely deserve to be more than Jackie's sloppy seconds."

Mean girl fighting was never my thing, and I was stunned into silence at how rude Eve was being, clearly because of some unresolved business with Jackie. I was also a little embarrassed at what she was implying was between Jackie and I, unsure how to respond.

"Fuck you," Jackie said instantly, not at a loss for words, and it made me realise just how quickly things had taken a turn for the worst.

"Okay, how about we just leave it?" I said, looking between them both before settling on Eve with pleading eyes. "Please?"

Eve seemed to give in, rolling her eyes before walking off to rejoin her friends by the arcade machines. I sighed with relief before returning my attention to a distracted Jackie.

"Are you okay?" I asked with concern.

She breathed out slowly. "Yes. Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm just surprised Eve reacted like that. It came out of nowhere."

"I'm not," Jackie mumbled under her breath, only confirming my suspicion of some unfinished business between her and Eve.

I chewed on my lip, still a little concerned, but then she met my eyes with apologetic ones, expression softening.

"I'm sorry she said all that," she said sincerely, though her cheeks were tinged pink. "You're not my... it's not like..." She was struggling, eyes flittering around uncharacteristically, before she finished, "You're more than my sloppy seconds."

Realising why she was awkward, I began to chuckle. "Jackie, I know. I don't believe what she said. And besides, no sloppy seconds would be treated as wonderfully as I have tonight."

She hid a smile as she nodded. "Right."

It was easy for things to return back to how they were after that little interruption, and Jackie and I finished the rest of our meals in peace. Once we were done, I grabbed our trays to throw in the bin and she waited for me by the door. As I was dusting my hands off, I felt a presence beside me and looked up, not expecting to see Eve yet again. I hoped she wasn't here to start another argument, especially because I knew I'd lose it.

"I meant it when I said you deserve better than Jackie Taylor, you know that, right?" she said with a quirked brow.

I frowned. "That wasn't very nice. Jackie's a good person."

Eve snorted in disagreement. "Sure she is."

I shifted my weight between my feet awkwardly., "Look, your feud is your feud. I'm not gonna get involved."

She shrugged. "Fair enough. Sorry for involving you."

I nodded appreciatively, and she gave me a small smile.

"See you around, cutie."

Again, I was speechless as she walked away, wondering if she was trying to mess with my head to somehow get back at Jackie. Either way, there wasn't reason for me to see her around since we went to different schools, so I didn't let it worry me too much. Instead, I returned to Jackie who was glaring at Eve from across the room.

"What did she want now?" she asked with annoyance.

Not wanting to give her more reason to be frustrated, I said, "She just wanted to apologise."

Jackie glanced at me, unconvinced, but I shrugged and held open the door for her.

"Let's get you home, Jackie."

Thankfully, she didn't question me.

[yellow-berrys]

sweet weeping soul | remus lupin x fem!reader

summary: your friends aren't really your friends, and remus lupin helps you realise that. a (hopefully realistic) tale of toxic friendship and how one escapes from it, into healthy relationships, both platonic and romantic. angst -> fluff

aka five times you cry in front of remus and one time he cries in front of you.

warnings: toxic platonic relationships, crying, sadness, envy, insecurity

navigation | masterlist 

+1

Remus Lupin makes you feel different, not yourself, per se. Around him, you become soft and reserved. It’s rare you have a conversation anyway— for you never really talk to him, or spend heaps of time around him. Lily is friends with him and you’re friends with Lily, so by extension he is your good friend too. 

He is prettier than you and so kind, always with a cuddly quarter zip on or a fuzzy sweater. Sometimes he looks at you like he might kiss you, but you’ve seen him with other people and he looks at them the same, dark lashes nearly touching. 

Remus has been told that he’s soft, all his life. There’s a steadiness gleaming from his kind honey-brown eyes, and a certain gentlemanly way to his neat strands of light brown hair. There’s gentle written all over him, and he always has a sweater on in the colder seasons. He always looks quiet, and he always is quiet, preferring to leave the talking to Sirius or James. Remus is everything consistent and everything mellow. A little mystery is woven into the way he does everything too. It makes him elusive, more interesting. 

Mostly, he begs to differ. If you really get to know him, he swears like a sailor and is scarred like one too. His humour is snarky and sometimes crude. But he guesses that other people might be right, because he forgives too easily and loves too hard. 

Especially as you’re alone at breakfast, sitting at your place down the table and playing with your food. You look a bit distraught, he thinks. Where’s Lily? And everyone else? You clatter down your fork because everything looks unappetising. Even the delicacies the house-elves prepare so painstakingly look dull and dreadful. 

Remus notices your self-deprecating expression as a Slytherin girl passes by you and waves. She looks at you inquisitively and you respond with a small smile that is the furthest thing from genuine. She leaves with an arm hooked into her boyfriend’s, both looking worried for you. As she passes where Remus and the other Marauders are sitting, Remus can hear tid-bits of dialogue. 

“Poor thing,” she says.

Remus decides you’re definitely not okay when even Sirius hums, “L/n isn’t looking too well today.” 

You’re talking to Professor McGonagall now, a more amused smile on your face as you joke with her. But when she leaves you return to looking downtrodden and when you push your plate forward and start to get up from your seat, your eyes look empty. It’s when you hurry past him that he decides that he should go after you. 

Fast taps against the tiles of the hallways alarm you. You turn and there’s Remus, long legs gaining mileage on you. He reaches you and you step to the side to let him go past. You’re confused when he stops before you. His eyes flicker down to yours and they’re filled with concern. 

“Hey,” he breathes. 

“Hi,” you smile politely and it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Remus hates it. 

“I’m sorry if this comes off weird or creepy, but I couldn’t help but notice that you don’t look very happy,” he says quietly. 

You laugh. Again, it doesn’t sound right. It sounds forced and stuffy, “It’s not weird and I’m fine.” 

“Where are your friends?” he asks, gently. 

You shrug. It’s heavy enough that Remus can tell that you care a lot. 

“They’re all gone?”

“I heard them early in the morning,” you say, nodding slowly. 

“Are you okay then?” 

No. You had heard all the girls in the dorm giggling as they got ready at six in the morning, tippy-toeing around your bed. When you peeked an eye open, feigning slumber, Lily was wearing one of her date night dresses, a pretty sun-dress that was only used for picnics. Trixie from Hufflepuff was there, and so was Olive. You squeezed your eyes shut and when they were all gone you noticed the picnic basket was missing. Dread pooled in your stomach and you tried in all your might to believe that they went for a date or were going to come back up to invite you. You thudded down the stairs and asked a first year sitting by the portrait about them. 

“They were talking about a big group date,” she swung her legs, “Something about a park.”

You had smiled, “Thanks.”

You look at Remus, “Yeah.” But your voice breaks embarrassingly midway and your tired, disappointed mood starts to wear through. It’s impossible to put up a front in front of Remus, who’s gazing at you in such a fret. But he’s Lily’s friend and Lily surely had her reasons to not invite you. After all, you have your problems. It makes sense that it’s probably your fault and Remus deserves not to know. 

Remus tries to gauge the problem out of you- wheedle it and make it clear that he does care. Somewhere in your half-hearted smiles he’s developed a crush on you because he thinks your attempts to make him less worried are so sweet. 

But you simply shake your head every time he wants to know what’s wrong and ignore that he’s very close and very handsome. 

You set off to your dormitory, but realise that you don’t really want to be there. Remus can tell from the conflicted look in your face. 

“I’ll sit with you in the common room and you can please, please tell me what’s wrong. I want to help.”

He says it so earnestly that you nod, “Okay.” 

“I woke up this morning and they were all getting ready for something, with the hair curler and dresses. That means going out, usually. And Lily was wearing her picnic dress, the one with little flowers on it. I heard them giggling as they all went out and I thought maybe they’ll come back for me. But when I sat up there wasn’t anyone in their beds and the picnic basket was gone. I didn’t know what had happened so I went downstairs to ask this first-year and she said they were going on a group trip, plus James.

“I feel so left out,” your bottom lip wobbles, “Because if this was a one time thing, I wouldn’t feel so bad, but they do this all the time. And I’m tired of constantly trying to join them when they haven’t even invited me in the first place. Every time they hang out they never think of me. I mean, they invited Trixie and Olive, and I wish I could say I’m closer to them than Trixie and Olive but I don’t think that’s true anymore. Every time. I’m sick of trying to take the initiative to make plans, and if I don’t they never think about me. 

“In the holidays, they all went out to see this movie, and I get it, they all live near each other but they invited Hannah from Slytherin and not a word to me,” Remus’ heart pangs a little bit hearing your trembling tone, “It was only when I wrote to them asking if they wanted to see it with me that Lily said she had already seen it and so had Mary and Dorcas and everyone else. Okay, I accepted it, I did, and said we could go to the art gallery but no one replied.

“I tie my shoelaces and they never wait for me, but when they tie their shoelaces suddenly I have to be there, no matter what. And I can’t ever hang out with two of them because the others feel ostracised, even though they always leave me out. Lily gives me strange looks when I chat to Dorcas for more than 3 minutes straight. Once we were talking about volunteering for a charity and she looked back at me as if I was neglecting her, accusatorily. I wasn’t going to volunteer with Dorcas anyway, she lives in the Highlands. But then she can go and wrap gifts with Mary at the mall and not invite me,” your voice wavers. 

“I know it’s small, but it hurts so much. The worst thing is that I’m the problem here. There has to be a reason why they never invite me and I don’t know what it is. I try to be a perfect friend and I always wait for them when they pack their bags at Potions even if everyone else is leaving. I don’t get it and it’s bothering me,” you cry out, eyes watering. 

Remus wants to cry too seeing you cry, “Oh, darling.”

“I don’t understand what is wrong with me,” you despair, “I might not be the prettiest thing in the world, but I try,” voice cracking. 

He needs to have a word with Lily, he thinks. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, gorgeous,” he murmurs, “Don’t blame yourself.”

“But there is. They’re really nice people, why can’t I see it?” 

“Maybe they’re not nice people,” he offers. 

“Don’t say that,” you whisper, “Lily’s dating James. Mary’s dating Peter. Dorcas is in your bookclub.”

“Well, love, they’re not very nice to you. And no she’s not, far from it actually, no he’s not, they split, and no, she left.”

“Guess I need a life update then.”

“Why don’t you talk to them about it?”

You murmur, “I hate confrontation and why would they change just because I told them to? I’m scared, Rem.”

“I get it, beautiful. You can sit with me and Peter and James and Sirius and Marlene and Queenie and Jolene at lunchtimes and whenever you want.”

He’s so good, he doesn’t ask any questions or push you. Your teary eyes gaze up at him in wonder and admiration and no one’s ever looked at him like you do now. Here he goes again, loving too hard. 

“Really? I wouldn’t be intruding?”

“Never, lovely.”

You surge and hug him, which catches him by surprise but he melts into it. It’s the nicest hug he’s been given, ever. He doesn’t get many as a guy, and usually they’re half-hearted and rough, but yours is grateful and warm. He’s all red and flustered after it but he doesn’t think you notice and you don’t. 

“We’re about to head to Hogsmeade, you wanna join us?” 

You think about it, “After I get these tears off my face.” You hurry up the stairs before he can say a word. 

“Nice going, Moons,” Sirius barges in from wherever he was hiding in the first place, hair slightly dishevelled, “You got some chocolate? I didn’t finish breakfast trying to stealthily tail you both up the stairs.”

+2

“He is just so delicious,” Mary sighs. You laugh, “Who, Peter?”

“Oh not Peter. Remus Lupin.”

You smile. Delicious. 

“Pfft, Peter. I only dated him to get closer to Remus.”

Your smile turns into something that’s unsettled, but she’s too busy ‘ooh’ing and ‘ahh’ing over his “washboard abs” to see you, even though he’s got an ungodly amount of layers on. 

“Speaking of, I think I have a crush on him!” she squeals and you smile again, kind of creeped out by her behaviour. You’re sure you’re just too sensitive about these things, “Will you introduce me?”

“Sure,” you lead her to where Remus is reading the paper. He looks up and he doesn’t give anything away. He's a mystery when he’s not too busy being soft. In reality, he can feel his heart start to speed up and his cheeks warm. 

“Hey, he’s blushing,” Mary whispers. Although it’s loud, Remus can hear it and feels self-conscious. 

You whisper back, “Shhh, I’m sure he’s not. Hi Remus.”

Remus nods at you, “Morning.”

“Oh he says morning, what a cutie,” Mary giggles and you giggle too, though Remus hears the strain your voice is in. 

“Remus, meet Mary Macdonald. She’s my friend. Mary, meet Remus.”

Hm. Remus thinks, remembering to be polite. He should give her the benefit of the doubt. He extends a hand, “Hello Mary.” 

You watch their interaction, spiking a little bit of disappointment in you. Is it at Mary paying more attention to Remus than you (and rightly so, you think. If you were that pretty you’d have people clawing at your feet too.) or because Remus might like Mary?

You miss how Mary looks at Remus hungrily. He swallows, uncomfortable, looking towards you and grimacing. You nod, a minute dip of your head, and carefully pry Mary away from him. 

“C’mon Mary, you promised to drop me off at my class.”

She studies her nails, “Actually, I need to go to the bathroom. You think you’d be okay with going alone?”

It’s not really a question, and your face falls. You walk alone. Remus has just witnessed Mary lying, because instead of turning three halls down to the left and turning to the right one hall down, she begins to flirt with him. It sours his opinion of her. 

“You free this Saturday?”

He shakes his head, “Nope.”

“Next Saturday?”

“Nah.” 

She sighs, “Handsome, let’s not play hard to get.”

He shrugs, “I’m not.”

“Why won’t you?”

Remus isn’t brutal enough to tell her the real truth, which is that he hasn’t heard good things about her. So he says, “I’m not interested and you dated my friend and broke his heart,” which is pretty accurate in itself. 

“Enigmatic.” 

He sighs, returning to his paper. 

A few hours later, you’re confronted with an awful truth as Remus sits peacefully opposite you reading a book. He’s in pure bliss as his eyes skim the page and his fingertips brush the edges of the paper. His hair flops in front of his eyes and you resist the urge to touch it. There’s a little smile on his lips. 

You like Remus a lot, and you can’t, because Mary likes him. It feels forbidden, and you can’t imagine how Mary would react. Friends didn’t like other friends’ crushes, they stayed a comfortable distance away from them. Rule 2 in the book. And Mary brings it up at night. 

“Say, Y/n, would you mind not being so close to Remus?”

You’re finishing up a Transfiguration essay and look at her, caught off guard.

“I’m not actually that close with him,” you laugh, “At least not romantically.”

She narrows her eyes, “Yeah, I know that. As if he would ever be romantic.” with you, she means. 

You’re silent, ignoring her dig at you. This is a critical part of how to be a good friend. You don’t want to ruin Mary’s ventures with Remus but you really like him, both platonically and romantically. 

“Could you back off? I know you both are friends and whatever but I need this.”

You chew on your lip. It’s a shame, because you did like him and Peter and Sirius and James and Marlene and Jolene and Queenie. You still want to be friends with him. But Mary has a jealous streak and you’ve seen the girls who she’s left torn and beaten. 

“I don’t think I’ll ruin your chances, Mary.”

“Neither do I,” she says harshly.

You’re struck by her sudden tone. It’s curt, snappy and it’s loud. It hurts. You immediately find the tears swarm in your eyes. So you startle, “I forgot, I need to go find Marlene to get some advice on the essay.”

“Since when have you known Marlene Mckinnon?”

You leave, tears flowing as you furiously wipe them away. Remus is downstairs with Sirius, and Sirius is begging for chocolate for some reason. You catch his eye. He immediately calls to you, but you pretend to not hear. You can’t hang out with him anymore. You hurry down to the Prefect bathroom. It’s always empty there. 

You sit down by the bath, pacing out your breaths. Soon you calm down, and when you have the energy to look around you, you see Remus leaning against the door. There’s a crease between his brow. 

“Rem, I can’t be near you much anymore,” you blink at him, “This won’t be a surprise to you but Mary really likes you. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable, or think I’m trying to steal you from her.”

Remus’ frown only deepens, as you refuse to meet his eyes. He hooks his fingers under your chin and lifts your head up. 

“Aren’t you?” he grins. He thinks if he’s going to want you he might as well want you right. 

You bring your hands to his and you gently take them away, patting his hand, “Don’t. Even if I’m friends with you, it’s too friendly for Mary.”

“Honey, you don’t need to do what Mary says.”

“It’s not what Mary says. It’s Rule 2 in the book.”

He laughs, “Rule 2 in the book. And what’s Rule 1?”

“Never leave your girls hanging for boys. I feel like I’ve betrayed her.”

“Well, you can always hang with the others, right?”

You nod, “We’ll see. I’ll see you around?”

His eyes are filled with something unreadable and mysterious. He wants to be with you, so badly, he wants imploringly to show you what you mean to him. But he nods, he understands, and pecks you on the cheek. “Remus!” you admonish. He’s smirking away, the last you see of him is the imprints of a shy smile, latent and alluring. 

You smile, feeling bitter as you tell Mary, “I’ll leave Lupin alone, Mary.”

She flickers her eyes up at you, “I didn’t think you weren’t going to.” She looks bored, and you feel nothing but disappointment. 

+3

“Wait up, Lily!” You call. You wish you didn’t need to, but you guess that you’re forgettable. 

She stops, a little disgruntled. 

“What’s got you so excited for today?” You ask her, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

“Well, certainly not Potter going to ask me out and me to reject him. He hasn’t in a while, so that’s been a relief.”

You laugh, “Are you missing it?”

“Never.”

“Don’t you think rejecting him that harshly is a little sad?” 

It’s true. He’s nothing but nice in his advances. All he does is give her flowers, most of the time he doesn’t say anything but frown when Lily pushes the flowers roughly back into his grasp, and leaves disappointedly. He’s been doing this for only a little while, and he looks less and less infatuated with Lily each time. Once she turned to you smugly, and you raised your eyebrows.

“Must be nice having no guys pestering you for attention,” she had told you. 

You had cheerfully agreed with her, but inside you were heartbroken. 

Lily enters the hall, an expectant look on her face. Instead of James waiting by the big door, he’s eating, no flowers or chocolates in sight. Remus turns and gives you the tiniest smile. You give him a sympathetic one. 

“Huh. No flowers.”

You stay quiet. If you say something, it’ll come out berating or pathetic to Lily. Maybe if she didn’t always brutally dismiss him or flame him to no ends, he might continue, but isn’t this what she wanted?

You talk to Queenie, who pouts, “Can’t tell you, sorry Y/n.”

You’ve seen James with Regulus, the latter denying his love though not like Lily had. It’s accepted and Regulus returns the affections, though in his own cold way. James looks happy whenever he’s with Regulus. 

Lily calls to James, “Potter, I didn’t see you water the plants today.”

James shrugs, “Okay, Evans. They’re watered. I got someone to do it. Someone much more competent than me.”

At that he winks at Regulus, who goes red and smiles tenderly. Sirius rolls his eyes, whispering to James, “Oi, eyes off my brother or you won’t have eyes at all tomorrow.”

Lily’s curt all day long, and snippy. You don’t dare to say a word to her and tippy toe endlessly after she scowls at you for asking if she wants some hot chocolate. 

At the end of the day when you’ve come back with accompanying Dorcas to the Potions storeroom and three of the girls come surging, whisking Lily away but never offering you with the same warmth. At the end, you quietly slip away from the group. You have this harrowing feeling you don’t actually belong with them. No one notices and you press your lips together. 

“Girl’s night!!” Dorcas yells. 

There’s only a little more to go till you graduate and you’re officially able to leave the dormitory. Maybe they aren’t so good for you. You just wish you could be included more, cherished. What if I don’t deserve to be cherished? The question swirls in your mind, distressing you. When you bump into Marlene near the quidditch field, trucking down from practice, she sets down her broomstick and takes off her gloves. 

“Don’t see you here often, darl,” she sits next to you, “You’re in the firing zone of Sirius’ wild bludgers, by the way.”

Sirius is hovering above, hitting bludgers fiercely. One zooms past your shoulder, only because Marlene nudges her broomstick to the bludger. You barely flinch. 

“Hey. Are you okay?”

You look at her, “Yeah, I’m good. Just wanted to get some fresh air.”

“At 8 in the night? Where are your friends?” 

You feel so vulnerable right now. “I’m- I’m with you. You’re my friend.”

“I know. Okay,” Marlene thinks for a second, “Where are your dorm mates?”

You sob, “They’re having a girl’s night.”

“Without you?”

“I…” To be truthful, you don’t know where you are with your friends. It makes you even more emotional. You feel tears well up in your eyes. Marlene makes a strained noise and you see she’s crying too. 

“Oh, don’t make me cry too,” she sobs, “I can’t handle emotions.”

Sirius notices, and nearly gets taken over by a bludger. “Moony,” he shouts, “We’ve got a problem.”

“We’ve or you’ve?” Remus asks dryly from the sidelines. 

“You’ve. Not I’ve but you’ve,” Sirius points to where both you and Marlene are sobbing together. 

“I’m only one man, there are two of them,” Remus looks at Sirius meaningfully. 

“Fine.”

“Which one do you want?”

“Marlene.”

Sirius flies over to Marlene, mounting his broomstick.

“Marlene, you good?” He crouches down on the grass. 

She glares at him, tearily, “Do I look okay to you, Black?”

“Right, well, why are you sad?” Sirius has the tact of a three year old although Marlene’s too busy crying to care. 

Marlene points at you, “She’s sad, so I’m sad.”

Sirius hops up, and pats the incoming Remus on the back. “They’re all yours, Buster.”

Remus sits down next to you, “You know, there’s a cloud over there that looks like James.”

It really doesn’t, it’s night and you can’t see much. But it makes you huff a laugh out. Remus relaxes. Marlene stops crying. 

“It’s pitch black, idiot,” she grins. 

He smiles boyishly. 

“Marlene?” you peek up at her, still halfway to dry eyes. 

“Mm?”

“Can I stay at your dorm for the night? I don’t really feel like going back to mine.”

“Sure. Okay, I need a shower. I can’t be hugging you all stinky and sweaty.”

“You smell great,” you smile at her.

“Thanks.”

“No problemo.”

You turn to Remus, “Shuffle over some ten centimetres please. For Mary.”

“Mary’s having a girl’s night without you, sweet thing, does she really matter?” Remus moves nonetheless. 

“Yeah,” you hiccup, “I want to be a good friend.”

He doesn’t question you and leaves it at that. 

Marlene comes out, drying her hair with a towel.

“Are we good to go?”

“Yeah!”

“C’mon.”

You look back, “Bye Remus!”

He’s smiling so softly your heart thuds. It’s the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen. You wonder what he’s thinking about. 

He’s thinking about you. Sweet weeping soul.

+4

The scene’s set. It’s a sweeping plain overlooking the rest of Hogwarts, symbolic and gradual. This is where you’ll graduate. It’s bitter, but you’re mostly ready to move on from school. Of course, you’ll miss days spent with fellow students and the teachers, and the school grounds where you spent so much time laughing and loving, but you think you’re okay with going solo. You haven’t worked out where you’ll be staying, there’s still ten weeks left in the school year where seventh years hang around aimlessly and try to soak up as much of Hogwarts as they can. But you know if you don’t find a place to stay, you can always bunk with your parents. 

You already find yourself shedding tears, as you go up to give a speech. After the procession, McGonagall calls you over. 

“Oh darling,” she cries, mascara muddied from her watery eyes, “I’ll miss you so much. Thank you for being such a good student. Have you got a place to stay? A job? I’ll always be open to giving you the Transfiguration professor role so I can focus on being Deputy Headmaster.”

You laugh, “Professor-”

“Please, we’re both adults now. Minerva, or Minnie, or Mins, or Nerve.”

“Nerve?!”

“Sirius Black does have some calling me that.”

Both of you let out watery chuckles. 

“Minnie, thank you so much for being my Professor,” you wipe the corner of your eye, “Oh I have to do this eleven more times. You know, I’ve learnt so much from you and you’re just a dear. I can’t believe I’m leaving this place, forever. Not yet, and yes, I applied for a position in the Ministry.”

“Don’t forget Hogwarts. Please visit, weekly.”

“I will, and I won’t forget about that Transfiguration job.”

“Please, remember it, you always had a competence for most things you did. Even Magical Music, which I remember you saying you hated, despised, loathed, and were terrible at, but Professor Quavers thought you were a very capable student.”

“Minnie,” you weep into her shoulder, hugging her, “Please remember me.”

“I couldn’t ever forget you,” she leans to whisper, “You are one of my favourite students.” 

It makes you cry even harder. In the end, you take a picture with her and exchange emails, phone lines, addresses. She hands you an envelope, which later you learn encloses automatic recommendation letters and some gift cards. 

This is done eleven times more, teachers bestowing you with gifts and promises of communication. By the end, your hands are full and you put the things in your bag by your chair, going to join Lily, Dorcas, Mary, Alice in taking photos. Mary’s voice shouts, “I still like Remus Lupin!” 

“Cheers to the new apartment!” Dorcas’ father says, “What beautiful girls.”

You freeze. They had an apartment planned and ready? Maybe you’re ready to leave your friends. You turn away, crying more when you see Queenie. 

She beckons you over, “Come take photos with us.” 

You smile. Everyone huddles close. Remus is beside you, all wily and eyes sparkling with tears. “You alright, darling?”

“I’ll miss you, Rem. You know I haven’t really gotten to talk to you much, but you’ve been nothing but wonderful to me.”

“Ask her!” Jolene hisses. 

“Right, so, I, we, the guys and the girls, are going to rent apartments with each other. Do you want to join us?”

You’re starstruck. You start crying in his arms, and he looks very concerned. 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t keep them in. Of course I want to join you, you guys are amazing.”

“Sweetness…” he wipes your eyes with a handkerchief he has yet to use. 

“Remus, Mary, remember? She still likes you. I know you’re only doing this as friends and she does too, but she doesn’t like people hanging around…” you meet his eyes. 

He looks at you again in that unreadable way and you don’t know what to do. Sirius is quietly taking pictures of you two with his expensive camera. He likes the way Remus looks at you and the way you don’t seem to know what it means. Fine photography. Would make an excellent engagement gift. I'm so smart. He flips the camera. And so handsome.

"Get a load of you," James scoffs.

+5

You haven’t watched Mean Girls yet. Queenie finds that astounding, and so everyone must attend the movie marathon she holds. You hang your coat up on the rack, stepping out of your shoes and sighing.

“How was work?” Marlene asks. 

“That question makes me feel so old,” you huff, cracking your joints, “It was so-so. Marcus tried to harass Heron into getting Jerome out of the project that he and Heather are working on.”

“Oh really. That mother-”

“Evening!” Sirius barges into the apartment, wearing his suit, “Did you know, Marcus was-”

“Harassing Heron into getting Jerome out of the project that he and Heather are working on,” you finish, “How does the public relations sector know that?”

“We do have excellent public relations.”

“Where’s James?”

“He’s picking up Regulus.”

“Awh,” you coo. 

“I wish James had a sibling so I could date them too,” Sirius grouches. 

“Don’t be like that, Pads,” Peter strides to the fridge, kissing Jolene on the cheek and grabbing a can of kombucha, “They’re so good together.”

“Good my a-”

“Language!” Marlene calls. 

Someone knocks on the door. You open it and Remus is standing, stretching. A little strip of skin shows as his shirt lifts. His top button is undone and he looks tired. But he still looks at you the same, red on his cheeks and red lips turning up. I can’t be loving him like this, you think, it’s overwhelming.  

“Hey,” you open the door.

He smiles at you, “Doing well, honey?” He doesn’t say much at all, but when he does it’s always followed by a “beautiful” or “pretty” or “doll”. 

A chorus of greetings come from around the television. He nods, turning back to you, “I gave exams back today. Talked my quota full.”

Beaming at him, you hand him a bowl of popcorn, “We’re fine with it. You speak as much as you want.”

He smiles at you again. He’s doing a lot of that. But then again, he’s always like this when he’s tired. At a bar, he’ll be tilting his head, smiling at you through fatigued eyes, begging James to go home. When he’s up grading papers, he’ll be smiling at you, the same melting eyes and lashes nearly touching. And you always say, “How much of your soul did you trade to the devil for those lashes?” 

He never gets it, and he says, “Comes with the beard I need to shave off every morning.”  

You’re snapped back by a slamming of the door as James comes in with Regulus. 

He’s right– he doesn’t talk much, just sitting back on the sofa, observing and listening. He watches you most of the time, and he sees when you’re about to cry. Your breathing gets unsteady and eyes start finding anything else to look at. You tremble as you reach for popcorn, and excuse yourself multiple times, and you manage to stop crying mostly. None of your friends notice much, too busy yelling at the screen, but he does. 

You start bawling when Regina’s influence over the rest of the girls vanishes, and Remus immediately turns to you, leading you across the hall. 

“I’m so sorry,” you ramble, “Why is it that I’m always crying when I see you?”

Remus doesn’t mind– he likes that you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable around him. 

“It’s just that– that movie reminded me so much of my old friends and it’s all too overwhelming thinking about them. I mean, they haven’t called, I don’t know where they live and I’m so grateful but also I feel so bad about it.”

“Hey, it’s okay. They didn’t deserve you.”

“I know, but the movie hit so close to home, Rem. I’m so glad to have you.”

Remus pretends that by ‘you’, you mean him, knowing it means the whole group of them. 

You sob quietly, bundling his shirt into your hands. He lets you, and he’s quiet about it. You’re a sweet weeping soul, rendered that by your ex-friends. But he wants you so much.

+1 

“Good news,” you announce, going into Remus’ apartment to recite to him what you had just read in your weekly mail, “McGonagall got a dog, his name is Hubert and he’s a border collie. Also, Mary has a boyfriend.”

You had had to write to Mary to tell her you were moving across the corridor from Remus. She hadn’t replied. None of your friends had bothered to ask where you would stay. You had decided those friendships were over. Still, you kept a friendly distance from Remus. You had only known she’s gotten a boyfriend when the boy himself wrote to you asking you for your blessing. You had written back, telling him that you and Mary were no longer friends, but nonetheless that you wished them well. It was a sign that you were truly over it. 

You’re searching through his apartment, when you hear quiet sniffles coming from his room. You knock, then enter. Your heart aches as you see Remus leaning against the wall, crying. 

“Rem…”

“Go away,” he mutters, muffled. 

“Remus.”

“Oh.” he doesn’t lift his head to look at you. You sit next to him on the floor. 

“What happened?”

“I like this girl.”

You try to fight your own disappointment back, and smile, though it’s warped.

“Yeah?”

“There’s no way in hell she likes me back. I mean I’ve done everything to show her I do. I’ve called her pet names, tried to be charming, hell, I’ve even flirted.”

The disappointment is winning. 

“And I get it, because I’m all gnarly. But it hurts.” 

He continues, “And she’s…perfect. Like, really beautiful. She’s kind, so charming, so empathetic and she has the prettiest smile.”

You pretend you’re glad for him. You’re really not. You want to leave, maybe he’ll stop talking about her. But you still listen, because you do care. As much as it hurts you to know he likes another girl, it also hurts you to know he’s sad. Lovely, caring Remus, with his shyness and comfortable silences. 

“She’s really everything to me, and I don’t think I’m much to her.”

“Don’t say things like that, Remus,” you begin, “You’re a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you, especially her.” The words don’t sit quite right, they feel sour on your tongue. 

“I’m not good enough for her.”

The words crush you, and you frown. 

“Hey!” you snap, “Remus John Lupin, you are so good, and so kind. I can’t bear to hear you badmouth yourself like this. You are not gnarly. I think you're charming. Love yourself for me, Remus, please.” 

He looks at you, eyes swarming with that emotion. 

“Thank you, darling.”

–

Remus catches you by surprise when he’s standing by your desk.

“What are you doing here, Remus?”

“Good evening, fine sir! How are you doing? I’m well, thank you!”

“No, seriously,” you cross your arms, “This is the intelligence department. How did you get in here?”

“Let’s just say, your boss is a 60 year old woman, and I sure know my way around them from playing bingo with my grandmother and her friends every Saturday.”

“Glad to see you’re feeling better.” And he looks better too, creases gone from under his eyes, which are now blinking endearingly at you. He had told himself he would tell you, and that would be it. Queenie tells him that you do like him, but he can’t believe her. He’s tapping his foot nervously. 

“I am. When will you be off work?”

“I just have to send this email and I’ll be done.”

“Great!” He pulls out a book and starts reading. You finish your email, click send, shut off your computer and reorganise the files on your desk. You put on your coat, and put your bag on. 

“Ready to go, sweetheart?” he asks. 

"Yep.”

“Lovely, we’re going to take a stroll around the block. It’s a…thanks for the other day.”

You smile, “You’re more than welcome.” 

You pass by a flower shop. He stops, “Hey, I want to get a present for you know- her.”

You feel your heart pang, “Yeah, sure," and then follows the obligatory, "Need some help?”

“Obviously.” 

You step in and the bells jingle. A friendly shop attendant pokes her head from where she’s cutting roses. 

“Hi Remus,” she grins at him, wiggling her eyebrows and he blushes, “And you are?”

You smile, “I’m Y/n.”

“Petunia Evans.”

“Lily?”

“Yes. Are you his girlfriend?”

You laugh, you’re flattered that anyone would ever think you’re his girlfriend, “Oh, I’m not his girlfriend. We’re actually here to find Remus’ crush a present! I’m Y/n,” you shake her hand. 

“His crush, you say?”

“Yeah, his crush! By the way, I’ll tell you my favourite flower, can you psychoanalyse me?”

She giggles, “Okay!”

You whisper it in her ear and she starts a long tale of surprisingly accurate details of your life. 

“Damn, you’re good.” 

“Thanks. Remus, is there anything you’re looking for in particular? For this crush?” 

Remus blushes.

You go to inspect the flowers at the front to hopefully get cheered up by the bees and the butterflies that touch down on little sprigs of pollen. You won’t revert to the sweet weeping soul that they made you. Remus buys some flowers and sets them down on the counter. 

Petunia takes her dinner break and slips out of the building quietly. You’re admiring the little glass panes on the wall which let the right amount of light through, walking backwards and around the room. Remus is wondering when he should do it, turning uncertainly and walking towards you. You turn quickly too, “Remus, look at the ceil-”

You crash into him. He catches you, flowers in one hand, you in the other. You’re very close to him– he smells like a forest and chocolate. His eyes flicker to yours and there’s the expression again. 

“Sorry,” you smile, stepping away. He doesn’t let go of you, instead pulling you closer. You look up to him with wide eyes and he’s so red all of a sudden. He brings the flowers to cover his face. 

“These are for you,” he murmurs. 

“Awh, but you really didn’t need to,” you grin, bringing the flowers up to your nose, “I offer my services for free!” They are so nice, and he's so nice.

“Services?” 

“You know, helping you pick out the flowers and all.”

He sighs, “Darling, I don’t know how else to say this, but, I want you. I don’t have a crush, you’re my crush, I just never had the guts to say it. I want you by my side, all the time. It was hell on earth trying to stay away from you all these years because of Mary. I don’t know if you even like me, but I really, really like you, maybe even love you.”

You open your mouth, then shut it, eyes wide with sparkling, “I like you too.”

“Really? Because you don’t need to say it back just because you’re nice, I’m a lot of things but I don’t know if handsome or boyfriend material is one of them.”

“Rem, I adore you. You are so pretty and you always are comfortable when I’m crying and upset and raging.”

“Can we try this out then?”

“Of course we can. I’d do anything for you, Remus Lupin.”

“And I promise I’ll never make you a sweet weeping soul.” 

[fangirlings-things]

Being a part of the team would include headcanons

anon said: hello!! can I please request some headcanons where reader is a part of the fast and furious team and maybe even their reaction to finding out brian is a cop? thank you!!

A/N: heyy, love!! thank you for requesting, hope you like this, sorry for the long wait!

THIS IS SET IN THE FIRST MOVIE AND WITH THE ORIGINAL TEAM, WHILE BRIAN WAS WORKING UNDERCOVER

TAG LIST IS OPEN

You met Dom and Letty at a race night downtown

They like the respect you show others, treating them as equals despite whomever they were and of course, they like the way you drive

And so, they tell you to race with them

Although you lost to Dom, you did manage to beat Letty in a race, and she chuckles when you compliment her about her driving and says that you only won because of luck

She even tried to give you her car, as you two had bet, but you tell her to keep it. Your garage was too small for two cars anyway, and in that moment Dom decides he really likes you

He invites you to his house for a beer later on that day with them and some other friends, and you accept

Dom's house was quite welcoming. There were people entering and leaving through the front door and loud music came from the inside, as well as the smell of beers

Once inside, Dom and Letty gave you a Corona and introduced you to their team, their family

Jesse, Leon, Mia and Vince. They were all cool and welcomed you with taps on the shoulder and smiles, followed by laughing and congratulations when they heard you had beaten Letty on a race

After that day, you would often meet in races and enjoy some friendly time together

More and more, you started to get invited to their parties and family meals and when they told you to make the prayers one day before starting to eat, that's when you knew you had been completely and without a doubt accepted.

You were a part of their family now and as you had none ever since you were just a teen, you felt more than happy about having people to love and call yours

One year later, it felt like you had always been there with them, sharing almost every day and meal together. You had developed different relationships with all of them and yet, they all loved you and you loved them

Dom watched over you like a little sibling, always caring for your well being and making sure you were good. He deeply appreciated the time you spent in the garage together, fixing cars and drinking Coronas

Letty loves the fact that you are always up for anything she has in mind. Let's race? Sure, get in. Wanna grab a beer? Yeah, of course. Let's make some popcorn and watch a movie with the others in the living room? Turn on the TV, I'll grab the popcorn. You are very good friends, and that's special to her

Mia likes the fact that even though you run with the team and take part in all their dangerous doings, she has never seen you mistreating people or being violent without extreme necessity. Your heart is good, and she values that

Jesse feels comfortable enough around you to speak a lot about the functioning of the cars he is currently working on. You don't mind him sounding like a know-it-all, like the others sometimes do. He is very smart and gifted, and so you were very interested to know even a bit of what he knew

Leon enjoys your company for practically everything but what he likes the most, is when you and him go to the races together in the same car when you do not intend to run on that night and you keep watch over the police radio together while the others run. He used to do it alone all the time and to have a company for it, comment the races and compliment other people's cars, just makes him feel really good

Vince was a bit distant in the beginning. Not because he didn't like you, but that's just the way he is with strangers. He warmed up little by little to you and finally, after some months where racing and drinking together became a thing to you both, you came to the conclusion that you could finally call him a friend

Things went perfectly, you felt much better than when you lived all alone across the city and on top of that, you were all making really good money with the truck robbery's

And then, Brian came

The first few times you saw him eating those horrible sandwiches, you knew he was there just because of Mia. You teased her a lot about it, and she just rolled her eyes at you

Vince didn't like him at all, and more than once you had stopped him from just going and beating the blond right then and there

When Brian started racing with you and getting invited to the house, you were friendly with him, because that had been you in his place not so long ago

You liked the guy, even though he was most of the time too reckless for his own sake

You became friends too, and he would come to you to ask questions about things he didn't understand or about the others

And you casually tell him over a few beers in the porch, just enjoying the breeze and laughing together

When you found out he was a cop, you felt extremely betrayed

Because you had been the one to tell him a lot of the things he knew about the team and guilt consumed you

Also, he had been tricking Mia, and you loved her like a sister

You couldn't look him in the eye, couldn't believe he had been faking all that time you spent together, racing together

He wasn't your friend, he was just a cop doing undercover work

And that hurt you a great deal not just because he had hurt you

But also, because he had hurt your family

[loganbcrnes]

Hello! I have an idea for a Logan x F reader story. I’ve always thought it’d be funny if Logan got so worked up while doing the deed and he breaks the bed frame and both him and the reader laugh it off in good fun.

So sorry it took so long to write this! Enjoy!

Pairing: Logan Howlett (Wolverine) x fem!reader

Requested: yes

Warnings: smut, 18+, little bit of praise, daddy kink, hard sex, jealousy, bed gets broken, possessiveness (not toxic), body type & ethnicity isn't mentioned.

Word count: 1,662

“I was NOT flirting with him! How many times do I need to tell you that?” you scolded. “Don’t act stupid, I saw you laughing with him.” Logan grumbled, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.

“So what?, I work with him Lo, he just said something funny. I can’t believe you’re assuming such…thoughts, and I’m not stupid!” You look up at him. By now, you were getting annoyed. Daniel was…nice, but he was also a creep that didn’t understand you were not interested, not that were you available anyways.

“I just didn’t like the way he was looking at you. He was looking at you like you were a piece of meat” Logan had a fixed glare on his face as he kept driving. You sighed and reached your hand onto his thigh, feeling the tight muscles clench. “You know I love you, you’ve got nothing to be jealous about, maybe you shouldn't have been so busy talking to your buddies” Leaning back towards the window. Logan sucked in a breathe, he turned to face you and let out a scowl whilst shaking his head.

“Wait until we get back home Princess, I’ll show you who you belong to.” Logan grumbled darkly. You let out a quiet gasp, he words he uttered sent shocks right to your core. you loved it when Logan got possessive.

————

Logan walks into the bedroom carrying you with your legs wrapped around his waist. He places you onto the bed. "Strip down to your panties and lay down with your head over the edge," He commands, to which you immediately comply. He stands behind you while you look up at him, anticipating his next order. “What do ya’ want, Bub? Hmm? Want me to touch ya’? Fuck ya’ hard enough until your crying for me to stop? Is that what’chu want?” he caressed his thumb against your cheek. “Yes, please, daddy. I promise I’ll be good.” You begged, your breathe shaking. Logan hummed in consideration. “I really didn’t like that jerk talking to you..gonna show ya’ who ya’ belong to, bub.” His voice was so calm, it made your heart beat so fast. You watched as Logan walked to the bedside table to take out some lube, he place it beside you head. "Put your hand down your panties," Logan orders, his eyes scanning your body. "Rub that little pussy for me. Just like you were doing this morning." With a deep breath, you slip your hand past your underwear, before finding your throbbing clit and rubbing small, quick circles onto it. You watch Logan as he stripped out of his checked shirt. You bite your lip, relishing the view of his muscled body on display just for you, only you. It made your clit throb even harder to the point it nearly hurt. "That's my girl," He mumbles, your heart skipping a beat at the praise, before the delicious sound of his belt buckle opening fills your ears. "I'm giving you what you want, but you gotta give daddy what he wants too, bub." He takes out his hard thick cock and brings it to your lips. You suck on the mushroom head, twirling your tongue over the slit. You hear Logan groan. Not bothering with letting you slowly adjust and instead pushing it into your mouth. His balls touches your chin when his tip hits the back of your throat. He quickens the pace and begins fucking your face. Small whimpers escape around his cock as you continue playing with yourself. He leans down squeezing your tit and pinching your nipple between his fingers. "That's it, keep going," He says, letting out a groan. "Keep rubbing that pussy like the dirty whore you are. Get so wet just from sucking on daddy's cock, huh? Fucking choke on it, Princess, that's a good girl." Logan loves the sight of your drool spilling out your mouth and pouring up your cheeks, where it meets your tears. His precum mixes in with your saliva, coating your skin while you continue to gag on his big dick. You rub your clit faster, feeling your pleasure build up. "Make yourself cum," He orders gravely, fucking your throat harder. "Now." His gruff command pushes you to the edge and soon you're cumming all over your own fingers, whining onto his cock. You shudder a little, gasping when he pulls his cock out of your mouth. “Good girl.” He praises you. “Now, get on your back and spread your legs.” You do as he’s told not wanting to waste any more time. Logan squirts lube onto his cock, making wet noises as strokes himself, tightening his grip at the base as he watches you spread your legs, your throbbing cunt on display. Logan’s powerful body casts a shadow over you. He stands there in all of his glory, stroking his wet cock and just watching you. he seemed intimidating, like the deadly man you knew he was, who’s killed hundreds of people. He looked threatening in a way that made your arousal flood your senses.

Climbing over you so that his face was level with your stomach, he spoke low now, his voice tight and thick with lust, you felt his words deep inside, as the hunger pooled between your thighs. He followed up your stomach with hot trailing, kisses. ‘Mmm, how do you want it baby?’ He asked quietly, “…Want me to mark ya’ all up?” kiss You were groaning now, squirming beneath him and his stubble and sideburns tickled your skin. He reached your neck, nipping it then grinned salaciously into your hooded eyes. “Please, daddy.” You mewled. “Or you want me to fuck you rough and wild, baby? The animalistic fucking you love so much? The way that has you screaming my name? Or do I draw it out? Touch you nice and slow until you’re trembling under my hands? Begging for my cock? Even I don’t think I have the patience for that tonight.” Jesus, you moaned and gasped, bucking your hips to him, his cock rubbing against your clit, desperate for some sort of touch, grinding your body into his, silently begging him to take you. He was so good at this stupid teasing game, it wasn’t fair to play any more, you craved more than just his words, as dirty as they were. “Please…I swear to God, Logan” you growled, wanting nothing more than his thick cock inside of you.

Logan chuckled darkly, he leaned back to line up the tip of his cock at your gaping entrance. Roughly he thrusts into you not leaving you with any time to get used to his size. No matter how many times he fucks you, you’re always as tight as you were when he took your virginity. "Oh fuck yeah…daddy!" "The only reason I’m giving ya’ the satisfaction of my cock without any punishment" He hissed through gritted teeth, "…is because I can see your fuckin’ desperate for it princess, taking my cock so well, huh?" "It feels so good…ungh…fuck, exactly like that Lo, harder!" He was moving faster over you, working your body into a frenzy punctuating his words with heavy thrusts. he sucks on your nipples, sending shocks down to your core due to the sensitivity. His balls slap hard against you, you had totally lost control, practically screaming for him to go deeper, to take you body and soul, give you the orgasm you craved and end the madness that was this constant sleeplessness, hardly the serene picture of feminine dignity. The bed frame clashes against the wall with each brutal thrust. He takes a hold of the bed frame with one hand while his other grips your waist tight, leaving bruises. Without warning, the bed frame breaks, and Logan let's out a growl and throws the wood across the room, you gasp "Logan!-" You have no time to speak, because Logan sets up a fast pace once again. "Fuck, look at what you made me do, doll. God you feel amazing, made me break the fucking bed frame" He grunts when you squeeze around his cock. "Logan, god, I'm so close, please don't stop" You yelped, the broken bed frame long forgotten. Logan changes position. He grips your legs and presses them against your chest. Slapping sounds make up the room, your breathing gets heavier. You claw at his biceps, seeing the hair dampen on his chest from the sweat. The thrusting is so brutal and nearly painful as he continues fucking into your cunt. You look down and watch his cock slide in and out of you. “See that darlin’? Your pussy was made for my cock, fits so perfectly.” He sucked on your neck, leaving marks that will be noticeable tomorrow. Logan moves his fingers downwards and begins to rub harsh circles on your already sensitive clit, making you whine. “Ah, ah, Logan” You scream, the sensation in your stomach you know so well, building up. Abruptly, Logan swapped positions with you on top, when suddenly there was a loud creak, and an even louder snap. The mattress fell to the floor at an angle, sending the two of you rolling to the floor. You screamed and fell on top of him. You began laughing wildly, covering your face as you rolled to your back. “Oh, my God,” you cried out. “I can’t believe you broke our bed!” “That wasn’t all me, sweetheart,” Logan growled, but chuckled shortly after, leaning on his elbows to look down at you. “It was mostly you,” you pointed out, your hand resting on his chest. He was on his side, peppering kisses on your forehead. “Couldn’t help myself, you felt so good.” You were still laughing. “I was about to have the best orgasm of my life, Logan! That bed was made from Asgardian oak, a gift from Thor!” Logan bit your neck. “Whatever, we’ll get a new one from Ikea” “’Ikea?” you burst out laughing, “Sure, we’ll have 50 broken beds by the end of the year and its October.” Logan moved to straddle you, pinning your arms above your head, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Hmmm, then what do you purpose we do then, doll?” “We could ask Tony if he has some vibranium to make a bed?” Logan chuckled at the suggestion and rolled his eyes. He leaned down, kissing you breathless before you could make another sound. “Why don’t we finish this off in the shower, hmm?” Logan suggested with dark smile. You could never resist that smile.

[emelinstriker]

Knockout ♤ Your New Car

Y'all be gettin a gif for him cuz I couldn't find a good jpg. Also I hate how rushed my old TFP one-shots feel omg-

[TL;DR] Knockout decides to personally take up the job of driving you after an encounter with some bullies.

♤ ~ Comfort ~ ♤

Knockout was driving towards your school, just like any other day. His alt mode's radio was playing one of your favorite songs as he hummed to the tune. He wasn't thinking about much, other than having some fun time hanging out with you later. His day was also pretty good, considering he didn't have to deal with Megatron's orders or even Starscream's nagging. He was pretty happy and content as he sped down the road, seeing the school building from afar.

However, that happiness was short lived once he noticed you talking to some other humans. They were laughing while you seemed like you were about to cry. As he got closer, he was finally able to hear what was being said.

"...And your car is an absolute waste, honestly. I mean, where did you grab it from? The scrapyard?" The boy laughed again, making his goons laugh.

Furious, the mech decided to step in. Knockout slowly drove up next to where you parked your car. You looked up at the sound of an approaching car. Recognizing your lover's alt mode, you were a little bit more relieved with him now here. The bullies stopped laughing as a rather handsome man got out of the driver's seat.

"Sorry for the wait, doll. Driving your car was just too much fun. It's so fast and you did such a great job buffing it!" He complimented you with a smirk... It was mainly just his ego taking over as he described how great his actual looks were, but you didn't mind. You usually buffed him in his alt mode after all, so at least you could take part of the credit.

He walked over to you. "Thanks for letting me use it. And thanks for taking care of my own." The mech in disguise turned towards your car, the one the bullies were making fun of. Honestly, your car wasn't all too shabby. Maybe buff it here and there, but it looked decent enough. But it clearly wasn't made for speed, unlike his alt mode. The group of bullies was silent. They couldn't believe you owned an Aston Martin. They thought you were the owner of the cheaper-looking car!

"May I still use it till we get home? I just enjoy the thrill." You looked at your bullies, then back at your Decepticon guardian with a small smile. Once you nodded, Knockout leaned in to kiss your forehead, not bothering to go lower in front of those other filthy humans. They don't deserve to see the amount of affection he usually gave you.

Knockout finally looked at your bullies in the eye, faking a confused look, pretending he didn't know why they were picking on you, before nudging you to get into your car. "I'll meet you later, okay, doll? Now get going- I still need to show you something at home." He said before he smugly walked back to his alt mode, entering and closing the door before ultimately letting his holoform disappear behind the tainted windows. He slowly drove in reverse, making sure to see you get into your own vehicle safely and driving out onto the street as he left. He drove ahead of you, but didn't speed to show off like he would usually do, instead he drove at around your own pace.

Once you drove through the groundbridge, Knockout transformed and simply walked next to your car as you went to your little parking area. You rolled down your window to listen to whatever he wanted to rant about. "Who were those humans?! Why were they making fun of you and your possessions like that?!"

Suddenly, tears started to roll down your cheeks and you sniffed, trying to hide your eyes by looking down.

Knockout instantly felt bad and decided to drag you out of your car. So he kneeled down and used his talons to open the door, gently picking you up. No one on the war ship would bother touching your car anyway, so it didn't matter if the door was left open. There was nothing of value in it for any cybertronian.

He put you close enough to his faceplate so he could examine you closely. Just in case they physically harmed you in any way.

"Why are you crying, doll? Was it my outburst?" He asked with a softer tone. You shook your head.

"They always make fun of me- Always finding something to belittle me over..." You wiped away some tears. "A-And ever since I got my mom's old car, they've been harrassing me over it..." There was a moment of silence. Only your little sniffles could be heard. You were a little worried about your boyfriend's lack of response, so you looked up at him.

But then you felt his faceplate press up against your body. More specifically, you felt his dermas kissing your lips. Your face heated up as you kissed back, putting your tiny hands on his faceplate. Once he pulled back, his red optics looked into your red and puffy eyes. They were beautiful to him regardless. "Leave your car here. I'll be your personal vehicle from now on. Just tell me when and where to drive and I'll get you there", he stated. The medic wasn't joking either.

You had a bit of a perplexed look on your face as you considered the possible outcomes. "But I don't want to bother you! You're already doing so much for me! And what if Megatron refuses to let you drive me for more than just school?"

The mech huffed as he slowly put you down on his shoulder pad. "Then he would have to deal with more injured vehicons alone. If he refuses to let me drive you, then I refuse to fix up his soldiers. Simple as that. I'm already your guardian and sparkmate, so why can't I just be your personal ride too?"

You giggled a little at his stubborn attitude, making him smirk. Knockout started slowly making his way over to your home-corner. But before he could offer you to step on his servo to place you on the ground, you kissed the side of his helm. "Thanks, Knockout. You're such a sweetheart and I love you for it." You said, then you stepped onto his servo to be lowered into your corner. The mech gave you a loving smile.

"Love you too, doll."

[ Masterlist ]

[sadhours]

Harringrove x reader. ur left sharing a small tent sleeping. boyfriend billy on the right steve the left. your feeling some sexual tension w billy despite you both agreeing not to do anything with ur friends. but he wakes up noticing u staring at his pretty face. He can’t help it-moving even closer to u and kisses you. Eating you up. It’s so sloppy. So intimate and cosy. It’s so loud that Steve wakes up. Once he sees you and billy kissing he moves closer behind you and 😳 double p-

1st billy- then when Steve’s about to insert himself you feel slightly nervous- and you whisper Billy’s name. He brings your head onto his neck praising you to take steve. Once steves inside you and ur comfortable-that’s it. They’re using you for their release. Hard and fast. You hold onto Billy’s muscular form almost crying with how good it feels.

some Harringrove moments- maybe they feel their cocks rubbing against each other at one point ?

Sorry for such the detail I’m not too sure abt it- I’ll let you cook this up or change it - inspired from ur amazing Harringrove smut. I’ve never ever requested Harringrove x reader and some may say I have had my big amount of ideas 🤠

🤤🤤🤤

absolutely, being sandwiched between the two of them is my fckn dream

It’s almost like a cruel joke— the way Steve ended up in the same tent as you and Billy. You’re sure it’s been done on purpose because you’d off-handedly mentioned to Billy that Steve looked good in his Scoops Ahoy! uniform the other day. You and Billy were getting some ice cream after your shifts at the pool ended, Steve and him had become quick friends recently. You weren’t exactly sure how it had happened but they were hanging out suddenly and Steve gave you guys discounts whenever you stopped by to get ice cream. Anyways, you’d both witnessed Steve getting shot down by a group of girls and Billy had laughed, suggesting that it was the dumb uniform to which you shrugged and said he looked cute in it. Immediately afterwards, you looked at him with wide eyes, expecting Billy to be angry but he actually seemed amused— intrigued even.

When Billy invited Steve along to the little camping trip with your guys’ group you were shocked at first but figured, they’re friends now so it wasn’t weird. Until it was time for bed and Steve followed you and Billy into your tiny, two-man tent. But it was totally fine, it wouldn’t be weird because you and Billy discussed not having sex during the trip for the sake of your friends. You were loud, everyone would know and you didn’t want to subject them to that.

Billy’s keeping up his end of the deal, eyes closed and steady breathing. The moonlight peeking into the tent shines beautifully on his face and you’re most definitely staring. He’s so pretty it makes your stomach do flips, you could stare him all day and in fact, when you have the time, you do. You watch his eyes barely move behind his lids, you’re a little impressed by how quickly he can fall asleep. As your eyes rake over the curve of his nose you can’t help but reach your fingertips up to brush against it. Billy’s face squishes up in reaction, his eyes blinking open to meet yours and a lazy smirk spreads across his lips. He turns on his side, facing you completely and copies your earlier movement, brushing his fingertips from the bridge of your nose to its tip. You giggle softly and something shifts in the mood, Billy grabs onto your jaw and leans down to press his lips to yours. The kiss is hungry, Billy grunts softly into it before biting your lower lip and tugging on it. You gasp softly and he takes the opportunity to lick eagerly into your mouth, hand moving from your jaw to your breast and squeezing it through your thin tank top. It’s so sloppy and you try to focus on Billy and not Steve’s back pressed against your own but you panic a little bit, knowing he’s bound to wake up to your and Billy’s sounds.

Your boyfriend doesn’t seem to care, shoving his hand down the front of your pajama pants and underwear, cupping your pussy in his hand as he sucks on your tongue. There’s no possible way you can stop the little moans erupting from you, especially when Billy slides his fingers between your folds. Your whole body feels on fire and you can’t deny you’re turned on by the fact that Steve’s so close while Billy fingers you. However, you feel Steve turn over and you freeze, pressing your palm to Billy’s chest to push him back an inch.

“Shh,” your boyfriend smiles at you, “It’s okay, right Harrington?”

You feel Steve’s hand snake over your hip and you feel his breath against your ear, “I don’t mind at all.”

Suddenly, you’re sure they’ve planned this and while you think you should be upset, you’re not. You’re incredibly aroused by it, actually. Billy must feel as much as his fingers slip inside your aching hole with ease and he smirks at you.

“Is this okay?” Steve asks you softly, his hand moving up to cup your breast, “If I join?”

You knit your eyebrows together, wanting to say yes immediately but looking to Billy for reassurance.

“It’s up to you, darlin’,” Billy purrs, lowering his lips against yours.

You gasp as Steve squeezes your tit and Billy curls his fingers inside, “Yes, I want it!”

You feel Steve’s lips curl against your neck just as Billy lets out a soft chuckle before he’s licking back into your mouth. It’s already pretty overstimulating but your body tingles all over when you feel Steve licking and kissing your neck. You moan but it’s stifled by Billy’s tongue while he pumps his fingers in and out of you. Billy pulls away, saliva connecting between your lips and he makes a guttural noise as he looks over to where Steve’s sucking bruises into your skin.

He sits up, his fingers still inside you and it’s a team effort between the boys as they awkwardly pull your pajamas and underwear down. Steve grabs a hold of your thigh and pulls your leg over his waist, spreading your legs wide as your boyfriend fingers you relentlessly. Steve’s long fingers find your clit and he rubs circles against it, breathing heavy in your ear.

“Oh, fuck,” you whine, eyebrows raising as your chest heaves with your own labored breathing.

Billy bites his lip, watching as his fingers disappear inside your dripping pussy.

“You’re so wet,” Billy comments, voice low, “Thinking about Steve in his uniform?”

Your face flushes, eyes widening at Billy while Steve scoffs beside you, “Got a thing for sailors?”

Billy chuckles, “She’s got a thing for pretty boys. Don’t ya, sweetheart?”

You can’t even answer, you’re not sure any words would come out so instead you nod, hips writhing against the pair of hands on you. The sounds that do come out of you are euphorically induced, uncontrollable. You’ve always been loud, Billy had to keep his hand over your mouth most times. Out here in the forest, he doesn’t seem to care and you’re too blissed out to even think about it. Everything feels too wonderful. Steve’s kissing your jaw and cheek and Billy reaches his free hand up and turns your face to Steve, groaning when Steve licks into your mouth. It’s different kissing Steve but it’s not bad, he’s not as eager as Billy, he’s slower.

Billy sighs softly and you can’t help but open your eyes and look over at him. He’s got his left hand wrapped around his cock, stroking lazily as he watches you kiss Steve while still thrusting his fingers inside you, but his pace has slowed. It’s fucking hot, seeing Billy so worked up at the sight of you kissing his friend. Steve grinds his hips up and you can feel his erection against the back of your thighs. You feel like you’ve won the fucking lottery or something. Two of the hottest men you’ve ever seen, right here at the same time. You don’t feel so guilty about your crush on Steve anymore.

“Fuck,” Billy exhales, squeezing at the base of his cock. “So hot.”

Steve leans back from the kiss and easily maneuvers you on top of him, your back against his chest. When Billy pulls his fingers out, you stubbornly whine at the loss but Steve’s holding your legs open as Billy positions himself between them. He slaps the head of his cock against your pussy and you moan out, leaning your head back against Steve’s shoulder. Your boyfriend doesn’t tease anymore, prodding his tip against your entrance.

“Pull her legs up, Harrington,” he instructs and Steve obeys, hands smoothing over the backs of your thighs and he holds them up for Billy.

Billy sinks in, groaning lowly as he bottoms out. You cry out, eyes squeezing shut at the sensation of Billy stretching you out.

“Jesus,” Steve comments, “She’s loud.”

“Yeah,” Billy grunts, “Have to fucking gag her half the time.”

The way they’re talking about you and not to you is surprisingly hot, you kind of like feeling like an object to them. You’re totally happy to let them use you however they please.

“Your dick is thick as hell, though,” Steve muses, “Poor thing probably can’t help herself.”

Billy laughs lowly, rolling his hips which pulls another sound from you and Billy tsks, “Feels good, doll? Am I stretching that tight pussy out?”

“Uh-huh,” you whine and you can feel Steve groan, the sound from his chest vibrates against your back.

“Just you wait,” he says beneath you and your eyes widen up at Billy.

He smirks, licking his tongue against his bottom lip and nods, “Oh, yeah, we’re gonna stretch you out nice and good, baby.”

“Billy…” you whine out, reaching up to grab onto his shoulders while he thrusts his cock deeper.

“You ready?” Billy asks and you look up at him with uncertainty. He pouts, stroking your cheek with his thumb, “I think she needs to be warmed up a little more, Harrington.”

“I can help,” Steve props his knee up so he can keep your thigh held up for Billy while he moves his hand around to rub at your clit again.

“Ah, perfect,” Billy drawls, “She’ll be ready after she cums.”

He pistons his hips quicker as Steve works against your clit, it’s all so intoxicating and you already feel like your floating up to the clouds. You keep your eyes open, watching your boyfriends face intently as he fucks you open. Billy looks almost drunk, glassy eyes with his lips parted and his eyebrows knit together. He’s so beautiful it makes you feel dizzy. The head of his cock pounding against your g-spot helps, along with Steve’s firm fingers playing at your clit. The pressure building up in your stomach is working quicker than ever before, you’re not even sure how that’s possible. Billy’s gotten to know your body well, he can make you cum pretty quickly when he wants to but this is entirely new. You can’t even bring your orgasm along this fast by yourself.

“Fuck, oh fuck,” you blubber, “i’m… oh my fucking god!”

The pair of them double down, Billy thrusts even harder and Steve rubs your clit faster. You see white as your orgasm crashes into you, causing your body to seize and then thrash between the men. You’re screaming, you’re sure of it, your throat feels raw when you come to, panting against Billy’s mouth, you can’t even remember when he put his lips against yours. You blink repeatedly as he pulls away, this almost devious look in his eyes.

“Goddamn,” Steve grunts.

Billy pulls out of you and lays down on his back, grabbing you and pulling you on top of him. He kisses you deeply, smoothing his hands over your ass before he slips his cock back inside of you. You whine, feeling like you might actually cry. He wraps his arms around your middle and keeps kissing you through the whimpers you make. Then you feel Steve’s cock poking against you and your eyes widen again, looking to Billy with panic. He rubs his big hands against the small of your back.

“Billy…” you whisper, voice shaky.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he coos, “You can take him too.”

You bite your lip, nodding to your boyfriend as you wait for the stretch of your life. You’re nervous but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t fantasize about this. “Okay,” you breathe, smiling at Billy.

Steve slides in alongside Billy and they both make low, throaty groans and you’re preening at the sounds. It helps the burn, knowing they’re enjoying the feel of their cocks rubbing against each others. You think about the possibilities of this becomes a regular thing with them. You’d really like to kiss the both of them at the same time. You press your forehead against Billy’s shoulder, trying to get adjusted to the feeling of two thick cocks stretching you out.

“Such a good little cock slut,” Billy purrs and Steve’s hips jerk at his words, urging himself deeper inside you which pulls a cry from your chest.

“Fuck, sorry,” Steve apologizes, hands grabbing onto your hips while Billy’s wrap against the back of your neck.

“No… felt good,” you whimper, grabbing onto Billy’s bulging biceps.

They both seem to take that as the go ahead, rolling their hips and your mind goes fuzzy. Their fingers are bruising where each of them holds you, thrusting in sync brutally. The noises they make flood your ears and you might’ve died and gone to heaven. It’s excruciating, how stuffed and satisfying it feels.

“Fuuuuuck,” you moan out, turning your face to catch Billy’s lips in a dazed kiss. Steve’s hand smooths up your back and grabs a fistful of your hair while he thrusts up inside you. He pushes your face down against Billy’s, forcing the kiss deeper.

Billy’s hands move down to your ass and he pulls your cheeks apart, holding you open while the two of them drill into you. It feels almost unreal, but you chase the fact that this is reality, you’ve really got Steve and Billy’s cocks stretching you out.

“Such a good girl,” Billy purrs.

“Mm, doing so well,” Steve supplies just as Billy smacks your ass.

The praise sends you over the moon, your eyes flutter closed. This is beyond your expectations. This is wonderful. This is earth shattering. This is fucking everything and you’re absolutely drunk on it. They’re fucking you raw, so hard and fast and you’re feeling used in the best way possible. You’re hoping and praying this turns into a regular thing.

“Wish you could see her face, Stevie,” Billy growls, “She looks so fucked out.”

Steve kisses against your cheek before pulling your hair to turn your face so he can see it, “Still with us, sweetheart?”

“Unh…” if they thought you were capable of the English language at this point, they’re sorely mistaken. You’re an absolute puddle. Words barely have any meaning, all you know is you’ve never experienced ecstasy like this and you’re fucking loving every second.

They each give a pleased little laugh, both breathless as they try to feign control, like they’re not both so close on the edge. You feel special, so so so deeply special and on top of the fucking world. The sheer stretch of the two of them shoved inside you made your eyes cross, had your whole body shaking, was so irrevocably pleasurable that you weren’t sure you could recover. They’d fuck you dumb, that much was guaranteed. You realize tears are streaming down your face only when Billy’s wiping them away and kissing you softly.

“You’re taking us so well, baby,” he encourages, “you’re doing so good, you’re such a good girl for me.”

“Billy….” You whine out, grateful you remember any words, particularly your boyfriends name. “Billy, billy….” You chant it because it grounds you, keeps you tied to reality.

Their thrusts match in desperation, both making incredibly pretty sounds that make your ears hot. It’s matched by their strong, big hands moving over your body. There’s a pair grabbing onto your tits, they must be Steve’s judging by the angle which means Billy’s are the pair gripping and pulling at your ass. You’re elated, floating practically as they fuck into you relentlessly. It’s brutal, rough in the way you need. Steve pulls you up by your hair, your back flush against his chest and he kisses you deeply. Billy digs his fingers in your hips, eyes scanning up and down your body and then to where you and Steve are sloppily making out. Steve moves his hand down and presses his fingers to your clit.

“Fuck,” you choke out, all the sensations they’re serving you is becoming almost too much. You can’t tell if you want to push them away or pull them closer.

“Baby,” Billy coos, smoothing his hand up over your side, “Sweetheart, you gonna cum for us?”

“Uh-huh…” you whine, “M’so close… feels so good.”

Steve kisses against your ear before whispering, “Come on, babygirl. Give us what we want.”

You’re sent over the edge, your second orgasm ripping through you with a cry and everything goes fuzzy for a few seconds. Then Steve’s pushing you back down, pistons his hips faster while Billy’s rock up to meet his thrusts. Billy captures your lips in a kiss, there’s hands running all over along your body but you can’t tell who’s who. Then Steve makes a strangled groan and you feel his cum filling you up, at least you’re assuming it’s his by the noise he makes. Billy hums against your lips, moving his hips harder into you and then he’s making a similar sound to Steve and you feel more cum filling you up and you whimper, holding onto Billy’s muscular chest for dear life. The feeling of their cum mixing together inside you is unmatched and you make a small whine as they each pull out of you. Steve collapses beside you and you remain clinging to Billy. You fall asleep like that, Billy rubbing soothing circles against your back and whispering softly how good you did and how beautiful you are.

When you wake up, you feel sticky and honestly, dirty. A shower would be greatly appreciated but as you open your eyes you’re reminded that you’ll be in the forest for one more night so a dip in lake is gonna have to do instead. You hear Steve mumbling something incoherent sleepily and feel Billy’s breath against your face and then you realize you’re sandwiched between the two of them, they’re both holding you tightly. It’s a wonderful thing to wake up to. You feel so warm inside.

Billy kisses your cheek and then nudges his nose against yours, “Good morning, darling.”

You hum, “Morning.”

Steve mumbles something again from behind you and tightens his grip on you.

“Can we do that again?” you whisper to Billy, blushing.

He smirks down at you, “What do you think we’re doing tonight, doll?”

[eyelessfaces]

better safe than sorry

poe dameron x reader

edit: this story has a prequel!

summary: tired of fighting with poe regarding his recklessness on missions, you chose to lose him by breaking up with him rather than by him dying thinking you'll be less hurt, only the weight of that decision keeps crushing you a bit more each day.

warnings: obvious mentions of a breakup, obvious angst, mentions of injuries, mentions of death

tags: f!reader, exes to lovers, feelings (lots of em), bb8 is a child of divorce, absolute idiots (that are still) in love, fluff

word count: 2.6k

I had so much fun writing this<3

better safe than sorry masterlist

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The suffocating feeling crept inside your chest every single time. 

Every time you walked past him, lowering your head so you wouldn’t be tempted to make the moment linger, every time you scanned a room and your gaze caught him far away, every time you heard his voice, during the meetings, or involuntarily, when you heard his joyful laugh erupting from tables behind you in the cafeteria, it hurt every single time you were reminded of Poe Dameron.

And it was a shame, because he was probably the most popular man on base, so it hurt constantly.

Alright. Maybe it wasn’t only being reminded of him against your will that made it hurt, because you simply couldn’t not think of him anyways.

Even when you didn’t see him or didn’t hear of him, the little details of your everyday life constantly reminded you of him.

His scent was still clinging to his jacket he had given you, the jacket you wouldn’t dare to wear as if you didn’t feel worthy of it. The jacket you still kept and slept close to, inhaling its smell as you curled up in your bed.

His towel was also still in your refresher, and every time you saw it you made a mental note to give it back through Finn, but you could never bring yourself to actually do it. 

It also happened that every time you talked to Finn your tongue was burning with the want to ask how Poe was doing, but you avoided the subject for your own good, even if it was a bit selfish. You knew that if you asked Finn to give him the towel he would ask you how you were holding up regarding your break up, and you knew that your facade would crumble.

You wondered if he suffered too. You wondered if the littlest detail reminded him of you, if the quickest glance in your direction made his heart ache the way yours did.

You secretly hoped it was the case. 

Not that you wanted him to suffer, you just hoped he… still cared. You hoped he still cared about you the way you still cared about him.

And he did. 

He had to battle with his own mind to stay focused on his job, because you were the only thing on his mind.

He could have replaced you. Quickly. Easily.

As soon as it spread around base that Poe Dameron was free, the ones that had been waiting endlessly for this moment finally took their chance. 

He could have replaced you. He could have had plenty of opportunities. He could have gotten laid to try to forget about you for a few hours. He could have tried to make it more than just sex and try to fall in love with someone again to forget about you for good.

But he didn’t want to, because the wound was still wide open, still bleeding.

And what hurt the most with this wound was the fact that he thought the both of you were doing fine before you decided to break up with him. 

Kriff, more than fine, he was planning on getting rid of the ring on the chain around his neck so it could go at your finger. 

He didn't want to bandage this wound.

—

It's the afternoon and as you're making your way to the hangar to try to finally fix the wonky lever on your ship to avoid getting killed, your head turns at the sound of panicked and frantic beeps, and you spot BB-8 rolling towards your direction through the hallway you’re walking in. 

He slaloms through and around the crowd of people in his way, and they’re just like you, staring down at him, surprised at how fast the little droid is; it's surprising that sparks aren't forming under him on the floor.

Once the droid is down at your feet he doesn't stop rolling, but now he's doing circles around you, still making a cacophony of erratic beeps. 

You can't even figure out what he's trying to tell you considering how untamed he's being, and if he’s panicked, his behavior is starting to make you feel the same way. 

"Calm down Beebs, what's going on?" you coo, going down at his level, one knee on the floor. He rolls over and stops in front of you, beeping more composedly this time.

You frown as he beeps, readjusting your position. "Poe's hurt?" the words make your heart jump as you pronounce them, and every thought drowns in your head.

The droid beeps again to confirm, and you give him a small nod, biting on your bottom lip before getting up on both your feet and hurrying to medbay, the droid heeling you. 

You try to catch your breath once you finally arrive there, and as you can hear your heart beating in your chest in loud thuds, your heart actually sinks once you see Poe. 

It doesn’t sink in despair or in profound worry, it sinks in disbelief.

It sinks in disbelief because besides a broken arm enveloped in a cloth held by his neck, Poe seems perfectly fine. His head turns to you as he’s sitting on the edge of the medbay bed, and he looks surprised that you're here. You can understand.

You sigh and throw your head back, cursing the droid for making you worry so much and embarrassing you. 

You feel relieved that Poe is alright, but you also feel awful for the situation BB just put you in.

BB comes behind you and beeps joyfully, and Poe looks down at him and laughs. "Oh buddy you didn’t just do what I think you did, did you?"

The droid looks proud, his plan has worked.

You sigh again, tucking your hands in your pants back pockets. “He's a good actor. I truly thought you were dying.” you turn to BB, and point at him accusingly. “I can’t believe you just did that.” you hiss, and the droid keeps on beeping proudly.

"Why did you do that?" Poe asks, lowkey impressed, as his eyes follow the little droid rolling over to him. BB doesn't reply and just parks at the feet of his master.

You look around the room, not sure of what you should do now that you're here. You walk over and sit on the edge of the bed across from Poe.

"Are you okay though?" you ask, throwing your chin at your ex boyfriend's injured arm.

“Well life’s not exactly the same since we–”

“Oh– I was talking about your arm” you cut him off, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. 

No matter how hard you tried, this encounter would just be awkward huh?

"Oh yeah, just a rough landing.” he declares chuckling, looking down at his arm. “It's gonna take more than that to kill me." he mutters, his gaze darting to BB-8.

“This is exactly why I broke up with you, you know.” you throw accusingly, and he pinches his lips in a smile.

“Yet you still ran to me when you heard I got hurt” he can't hide the smirk on his face, he doesn't want to anyways.

You want to tell him that BB made it sound like he was dying so of course you wanted to be by his side, because you still care about him, but you decide to keep your mouth shut because whatever will come out of it will for sure make you want to dig your own grave.

So you chuckle and look down at your feet, and when you decide that you should probably go, he speaks again.

"You know you're kind of like his mother" he smiles softly, breaking the silence as he looks down at the droid at his feet.

You scoff, but your heart actually skips a beat. "Yeah so we're his divorced parents, right" you joke, though it’s half true, and it’s a miracle your voice doesn’t flinch because a small lump is slowly starting to form in your throat.

Poe grins timidly, and you look down at BB looking back and forth between you and Poe.

You want to speak again, but so does he, so you’re both blabbering out incoherent mumbles at the same time. 

You both laugh, and he points at you with his valid hand.

“You first” he offers, cocking an eyebrow, wondering what you were saying.

“I was about to say I should probably go.” you nod, sinking your hands into your pants pockets.

“Oh” 

“You?”

He bites down on his lip before talking. “I miss you. I was about to say I miss you.” 

You close your eyes and sigh, and the lump in your throat only keeps on growing bigger. You shouldn't feel so sad, because you brought this upon yourself, but you can't help it.

“I know. I mean– me too.” you nod, looking up at him. He looks sorry, and you feel sorry. "I miss you too." you admit, and admitting it only makes it feel even more real.

He weakly smiles at you, and the atmosphere in this room becomes too much, and you feel the need to leave.

"Okay. I should get going. Be careful with that arm" you softly smile before walking out the room.

—

There’s a good chance you’re experiencing the frequency illusion – the phenomenon of learning the meaning of a word then hearing it everywhere, because the frequency at which you accidentally run into Poe after your encounter in medbay is quite embarrassing. 

Awkward smiles are your only exchange, but the way he pinches his lips when he smiles at you makes you want to kiss them every single time.

Another downside of it is also that the more you see glimpses of him, the more you want to see him. Properly. It’s becoming a problem.

And the more you try to ignore it the more you’re reminded of the problem in question, and it’s a never ending circle.

Which is why you’re standing outside his quarters with his towel in hand, and while you’re still hesitating whether to do this or not, there’s part of you that tells you that this is absolutely stupid.

But there’s also that other part of you that craves the sight of him, the sound of his voice, his smell, his touch, the taste of his lips, and that part of you takes control and buzzes at his door.

It opens a few moments later, and BB-8 rolls behind him, beeping happily. You can’t help the small laugh that escapes your mouth, and Poe looks back at his droid, chuckling.

“It’s, uh– your towel.” you say, handing him it. He looks up at you then at it before taking it from your hand. “I’ve been meaning to give it back for a while but I kept forgetting”

“It’s just a towel, you could have kept it, you know.” he chuckles, throwing the cloth on his console.

“Yeah. It’s not just about the towel. I wanted to see you.” you admit, refraining your smile. You do a poor job at holding it back when a smug smile appears on his face.

“Oh yeah? You wanted to see me?” he asks smugly, leaning his forearm against the doorframe.

“Mmh” you nod, raising your eyebrows. He gestures for you to come in, and you kneel down to rub BB-8's head, making him roll on himself. “How’s your arm?” you ask looking up at Poe.

“Good. All healed up.” he nods, looking down at BB who leaves the room as if to give you some privacy.

"Good." you sigh, standing back up, placing yourself to stand in front of him. There's a strand of your hair that falls in front of your face, and he takes care of pushing it away, the tip of his fingers softly brushing against your forehead, his hand then resting at the juncture between your neck and your shoulder.

The gesture makes your breath catch in your throat, as if you're a teenager with a crush when you know Poe so well and you're accustomed to his soft gestures. 

You guess the context is what makes it so special, so fragile.

You lightly clear your throat, doing your best to seem composed.

“I uh, it’s stupid. The reason I broke up with you is stupid. I got so scared the other day when I heard you got hurt and my only thought was ‘You’re stupid, all of this is so stupid, he’s gonna die thinking you don’t love him and thinking your principles matter more than him’.” you start, and he opens his mouth but you continue to speak before he can. 

“This is not what happened because you weren’t really dying but that thought has been haunting me ever since. Away from you or not you’re gonna get hurt anyways and I’m gonna be in love with you anyways and I can’t change the way you are so if I had to choose, I’d rather be by your side.” you nod, chuckling nervously, your heart beating so fast you wonder if he can hear it.

He softly chews on his bottom lip, nodding.

“Okay.” he whispers, and he sighs before pulling you into his arms. A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as your forehead rests against his shoulder, and your arms wrap around him as he cups the back of your head. “It’s my fault too. I’m sorry. I’ll change, I promise” he whispers into your ear, and you look back at him, putting a hand to his face.

“I’m not asking you to change for me. I’m asking you to be a little more careful.” 

He nods before leaning in and kissing you, and you can only deepen it.

It is probably the most healing kiss you’ve ever exchanged, and when you pull away you still remain close. Your nose brushes against his as you play with the curls behind his ears, and his eyes crinkle as he softly smiles at you before leaving some more light kisses at your lips. 

He rests his forehead against yours before pulling away, and he comes back to reality at that moment, and you can see something looks wrong when he starts pacing around, his hands over his hips.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." he declares, looking back at you. "I signed up for a month-long mission." he can see the frustrated look in your eyes, and he almost feels guilty for leaving you so soon after you've been reunited.

“A month long?” you repeat, and he slowly nods, pinching his lips. "Poe Dameron you better come back al–"

"–Yes I promise you, I'll come back alive, and without a scratch" he cuts you off, chuckling. "I promise. No risky maneuvers." he assures, taking a step closer to you.

"Alright." you smile, bringing him closer to kiss him again.

You fall asleep clinging to each other, his back pressed flush against your chest and your arms tightly wrapped around him.

When you wake up the next morning, he's already long gone, his side of the bed so cold you could even doubt he has ever been there if you didn’t have the vague memory of him leaving a kiss on your forehead before he left his own quarters.

The month where he's gone feels like the longest month of your life, but the reward of it is that when he comes back he's exactly the way he was when he left, not a single scratch in sight. 

He begs you to take a day off of work to spend time with him and catch up, and during that day he brings you to a pretty planet he discovered while on mission where he asks you to marry him, the ring around his chain finally finding its right place after so many years.

—

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prequel | better safe than sorry masterlist

star wars taglist: @apollo-enthusiast @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @beccabecs521 @welcometostayingawake

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