#anyway i'm about to pass out goodnight c>

[epitaffia]

hello wonderful people ... if you're seeing this, it means you survived the purge! granted most had been inactive for over a year, but anyway- i thought it best not to move blogs again. changes have been made, however : pinned & header have been updated + new graphics (back on my glitchy aesthetic i fear) as has the carrd. whenever you have some time, please give it a reread. some details of their past & verses have changed &/or added to. there's been a big change to the post-loop verse. i do still need to write up some aus though, & their relationships to oneanother. exclusivity is now only reserved for shipping (which i am now very picky with & will only ship with close friends). affiliates are reserved for friends whose muses stories / arcs are intertwined in some way ... you will notice that section is now empty, i will reach out to those who were there in the coming days, & if we're pals & you'd like to be affiliated in some way ... shoot me a message ! mains are free real estate if we've wrote a decent amount / chatted ooc. also, i apologize if this next section comes off as blunt, but it's one thing that's been giving me a lot of anxiety here for a while (this is a general psa & not directed at anyone in particular) : please, if you are no longer interested in writing with me, soft block. i'm here to write & make friends along the way, developing dynamics & all that fun stuff. if the vibe is no longer there i understand. but when interactions are completely one-sided or ignored for a long time it feels more than a little disheartening as if i'm being annoying. i'm aware i'm slow with writing & i'm sorry about that. also life happens & i understand that very well too. but please, never be afraid to reach out! i love ooc chatter, whether rambling about silly muse things, or gaming or just talking about whatever. if i've done something to upset or offend, please also reach out so we can work things out. i consider mutuals friends & i never wish to upset my friends (or anyone!) i will also be bringing back fugo & prosciutto, but as low(er) activity side blogs.

[magicalrocketships]

Rivers of Light || Max/Daniel || part 10 ||

(reminder that this in its entirety contains mpreg, reference to giving birth, Max Verstappen's bad dad, past abuse, and on-track accidents.) Cyril's hot wife remains made up (I mean, she may be hot in real life but I don't even know for certain if she exists, therefore this version of his hot wife remains made up).

All previous parts can be found in the masterpost here. This chapter is on AO3 here.

Max hasn't had many people be kind to him since he crashed out of Formula 1. He'd forgotten how it had felt.

Part 10

Bastiaan falls asleep in Cyril's arms after dinner. One minute he's frowning up at him, and the next, his little eyes are closing and he's falling asleep right where he's tucked up against Cyril's chest.

Max contains his jealousy well. Bastiaan's never fallen asleep anywhere other than with him. This whole trip has been full of new experiences for his baby, and he must be very tired. Max would like to fall asleep too, but he hasn't slept through the night in a long time. He's used to it by now, but even being used to it doesn't mean he doesn't wish it was different sometimes. 

That he could, just for once, put the weight down. 

He and Daniel don't stay long after Bastiaan falls asleep. It's late anyway, but his baby stays mostly asleep through having his little hat and sleeping bag put on him, and his mittens tucked down over his hands. He stirs as he's put down in the carrycot, but he's asleep again after Max has shushed him, moved the pram back and forth to rock him a little as Daniel says goodnight to Cyril and Sephine before they turn their attention to Max. He gets kissed on the cheek by both of them. Cyril says he will call when Max is back home, and Sephine says they'll have to have Max and Bastiaan to stay when Max is next in Paris. It's nice. It's kind. It's a lot. Max hasn't had many people be kind to him since he crashed out of Formula 1. He'd forgotten how it had felt. 

It almost makes him want to cry. 

He doesn't. 

He's not sure he can anymore. 

&&&

Bastiaan wakes up an hour after they get back to the hotel, which is about half an hour after Max has passed out in the big bed with the carrycot next to him. When he'd gone to sleep, Daniel was still awake, scrolling through his phone with the lamp on by the little bed under the window. He had refused to let Max sleep there. But when Bastiaan starts to cry, the lamps are off, and Max tries to keep it that way in case Daniel can somehow sleep through his tiny, tearful baby making his feelings known. 

He's not a happy baby. Max cycles through the things he knows to do: nappy change, trying for a feed, nappy check again, a little playtime with his giraffe and his rattle, but Bastiaan doesn't want or need any of it. He's miserable and fierce about it, red cheeked and angry, little cries that tear Max's chest in half. He sadly accepts a feed after about half an hour, and that keeps him quiet for a while, but the moment Max tries to put him back down in his carrycot he's crying again, the saddest baby that anyone has ever seen. Max wants to cry too. He's so, so tired. He hates Bastiaan being so unhappy and not being able to tell Max what he needs. He hopes babies don't get nightmares. Bad dreams are awful enough when you're old enough to understand them. Max kisses his little flushed cheeks. 

"I'm sorry, little baby," Max says, over Bastiaan's exhausted sobs. "I know we're not at home. You've met all these new people today and I think everything smells funny and you don't know where you are. You've been very brave and now you don't want to be anymore, do you? You just want to be asleep but you don't know that you have to stop crying to get that, because you're only little. Such a little baby, my baby Bastiaan." He kisses his hair. Cradles him close. "We're not alone like normal, my baby, and it's not just me you're keeping awake. You made a new friend today, didn't you? And I think he'd like to go back to sleep now. Can we let him? Can we just go to sleep, baby?"

"It's okay," Daniel says finally. "You can put the lamp on. I'm awake."

"I'm sorry," Max says. He sounds desperate because he is. He's so tired. "I don't know why he's so upset. I can't make him stop."

"He's a baby, I think," Daniel says. He switches the lamp on. Sits up and swings his legs out of bed. He's in a t-shirt and his boxers. He'd still been dressed when Max had fallen asleep.

Max is topless because he'd fed Bastiaan, and part of him wants to cover up. He wants to shut that voice down inside of his head that's his dad, that's telling him to be ashamed of feeding his baby, but he's too tired to fight it. He cradles Bastiaan to his chest instead. Kisses his head. 

Daniel looks at him. "Max," he says. "Come on. Take a break. Why don't you give him to me for a few minutes. Go and wash your face or have a shower or something. You look wrecked."

"He's crying," Max says, trying to shush his distraught, exhausted baby, but Max is so, so tired. "I can't leave him."

"You can," Daniel says. "I'm assuming you don't have help in the middle of the night normally. Just let me help this time. Take a break. Go on. Have a shower or something."

"I don't want a shower," Max says. He wants his baby to go to sleep. 

"Honestly," Daniel says. "Give him here. Just for a few minutes."

Max finds himself holding out his baby for Daniel to take. He doesn't want to trust anyone with Bastiaan, but he needs to pee and it would be nice to do that just once without holding a baby in the middle of the night. A shower would be nice too, but it's not shower time. He lets out a ragged, desperate breath.

"Take a shower," Daniel says, as he rocks a crying Bastiaan, cradling him close. "Go on. I'll call if I need you."

"I'll be two minutes," Max says, staring longingly at the bathroom. Back at his tearful baby.

"Take five," Daniel says. "Push the boat out."

Max takes four. He comes out with his underwear pulled back on with a fresh pad inside, and a towel around his waist. His hair's wet and Daniel had been right, it had been good to stand under the hot spray for a minute. Breathe. Bastiaan's still crying but it's not as urgent as it had been before. He sounds so, so tired. Such a tired little baby. 

Daniel's got his phone in one hand and Bastiaan in his other. He's playing a soft little video of baby lullabies and water sounds with a slow animation of little twinkling stars accompanying it. He looks over at Max and winks. Bastiaan's eyes are starting to droop, but he's still crying. He's trying to chew on his fist. 

"Does that mean he's hungry?" Daniel asks. 

Max nods. He holds his hands out, but Daniel shakes his head.

"It's okay. Get into bed and then I'll hand him to you. Do you need anything?"

Max has his water bottle by the bed. He's okay. He drops the towel on the floor and gets into bed. He beckons Daniel over with his baby. 

Daniel tucks Bastiaan carefully into Max's arms, then makes a big show of getting the pillows from the other side of the bed and putting them behind Max to prop him up. It is more comfortable, but it's okay. Max was coping. Bastiaan doesn't need much help latching on, and for a moment there's quiet except for the soft sound of Daniel's lullaby video and Bastiaan's sleepy little sucks. 

"I'll leave it on," Daniel says quietly. "I think it helped."

Max nods. He's so, so tired. 

Daniel takes Max's water bottle and goes to refill it in the bathroom. He brings it back, then goes back into the bathroom to pee. When he comes back out, he sits on the end of Max's bed, by Max's feet. 

"You okay?" Daniel asks. 

Max doesn't shake his head. He hasn't been okay for a very long time, but he's holding on. He's holding on so tight it's making his fingers bleed. 

"I'm fine," Max says. He doesn't look away, not until Daniel does. 

"Think he'll fall asleep?" 

Bastiaan's eyes are already drooping. Max strokes his cheek. His lovely little baby. 

"Yeah," he says. "At some point."

"You're doing great, you know. He's perfect."

Max has been lying for such a long time. One more won't hurt. 

"Everything is good," he says. "Go back to bed."

"In a minute," Daniel says. "When he's sleeping."

They sit there, quiet in the middle of the night, until Bastiaan falls asleep. 

Max looks away first. 

[namjoonscoffeeshop]

Dear Namjoon | 04

Dear Namjoon | KNJ

✧ Pairing: Kim namjoon x reader ✧ warning(s): explicit language, suggestive content, mature content ✧ genre: angst,fluff,smut,slow burn ✧ synopsis; You're sent to live with your father and older brother. only that your older brother is in a band called BTS. you meet jimin's friends and automatically get tangled with one of his band members. you're relationship has to be kept a secret but for how long can you keep it that way?

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During dinner dad once again didn't talk much, we ain't in silence only have jimin say a few things once in a time. when dinner came to an end dad asked jimin if he'd wanna go with with my dad to a small business trip tonight. jimin was hesitate at first about leaving me alone but assured them I could stay by myself.

after we finished talking i went to shower, getting ready for bed. jimin strictly told me I couldn't sleep in his room because i pushed him out the bed and locked the door to stop me from coming in. shit i would've complained about it but i was too tired.

when I finally got comfortable in bed my phone rings really fucking loud and i jump out the bed to grab it. it was none other than namjoon.

i was screaming in silence before answering.

"hey" his raspy voice me blush

"heyy"

"what are you up to?"

"nothing really...just in bed"

"oh, this early?" he chuckles. i look over to the clock on my night stand and see its 8:30.

"yeah..i'm not really a morning person, sleeping enough gets me out of bed" you both laugh

"how are you getting used to living here"

"oh it's been good, i like the fact i can see jimin all the time" you smile

"getting used to have a dad too?" his words catch you off guard, it's the second time one of jimin's friends asks you that

"yeah..especially that. i don't really know how to talk to him" you laugh awkwardly

"you'll get used to it at some point, and shit you don't wanna get to know him then don't. it's up to you anyways"

"it's funny your the second person who asked me that ever since i got here"

"really? who's the first"

" what was his name again...yoongi?"

he hums at your response "jimin told us everything"

"yeah i figured.."

we talked for a while, the whole time we were on the phone my my smile was ear to ear. i paced around my room or laid on the bed. but we talked for a good hour.

"alright i should let you sleep, or you'll be grumpy tomorrow" he laughs

"yeah yeah what ever, goodnight namjoon"

"goodnight y/n"

I slept smiling that night.

I was never excited to go to school, until today. I wanted to see namjoon so bad, I was kinda mad that jimin told him I was off limits. but the face that he called me last night means he didn't care right?

I once again went with jimin to school on his bike, and I was getting used to it. He told me that every one of his friends have a bike and they take it to school.

as we arrived to school, we walked in and he told me to go with him to their 'spot' aka the rooftop

apparently the school put safely rails up there and students are allowed to go there. not many do but it's become their spot ever since they first hanged out here.

arriving to the roof top I see them all sitting and joking around with each other, there were some desks there and namjoon was sitting one of them, manspreading.

I always found it annoying when guys would do that but not namjoon. it was hot.

we walked up to them and they all greeted me, namjoon did as well but he wasn't as flirty as yesterday. actually he wouldn't even look at me, he ignored most of my glances. he didn't even look at me.

i sat at another empty desk and just fiddled with my fingers, waiting for time to pass by.

did i do something ?

we heard the loud bells, and got up to head to class. jimin throws his arm around my shoulder as we walk to the door, i glance over my shoulder to see namjoon. I catch him staring at me, with a raised eyebrow, and let me tell you his brow raise holds so much power.

during the day if we bumped into each other as we changed classes he ignored me entirely, now I was just getting irritated.

------

it was time for lunch, and we headed to the roof top again. but namjoon wasn't there. we ate our lunch and he still hadn't showed up. So i casually asked hoseok where he was and he said he's usually in the courtyard reading a book or something.

so i excused myself to go to the 'restroom' but i told jimin i might just go look around the school after, and he insisted on tagging along but i told him no.

and just like hoseok said, i found namjoon in the court yard alone reading a book. so i walked up to him, clearing my throat to make him aware of my presence. He looks up and my heart skipped a beat. he was wearing glasses and I never knew how someone cold look so hot wearing glasses.

"hey" he says casually, taking off his glasses he puts them in his case as he lays it on the book he was just reading.

"why have you been ignoring me?" i cross my arms

he chuckles and looks at me intensely

"jimin said you were off limits and look what happened at the club was hot, shit i'm attracted to you but i'm not gonna be the reason you two get in a fight or him and me get on bad terms" he shrugs, leaning back he crosses his arms

"but it's not for him to say, who i can or can't be with"

"babe that's between you two" he opens his bag to put his items away.

"but we talked last night and i-"

"hold that thought" he says abruptly as he gets up zipping his bag, he looks at the people entering the courtyard

"lets go talk somewhere else, we don't need anyone hearing our business" he puts his hand on your shoulder. gently pushing you towards the double doors. you both walk along the hall, namjoon glances into rooms until we get to the end of the hall he slides the door open and i walk in. the room was dark except for the light that came from outside. he closes the door and tosses his bag at the nearest desk, once again sitting on top of it.

i began to get nervous at the look of his serious face, so i just leaned against the wall, keeping a distance hoping he didn't sense my nervousness

"look you just got here, and i don't want you fighting with jimin ok" he breaks the silence first

you stare at his lips as he talks, just as he eyes you as you stand against the wall. there was clearly a sexual tension in the room.

"what if he doesn't know" i say quickly, he studies you for a minute before talking

"you mean not tell jimin?" you nod without hesitating

"about us"

"us?" he lifted an eyebrow

he gets off the desk and walks up to you, inches away from your face. his lips brushing against yours as he tilts your head back. "so you won't tell jimin?" his hand touches your thigh and you jolt at his sudden touch. causing you to nod again "use your words babe" his hands slides under your skirt

" i won't tell him" those four words made him smirk "you won't tell him that one of his best friends wanna fuck and kiss his little sister when ever he feels like it" his breathe tickles your nose, you blush at his words making him sneer at your reaction. shaking your head again.

"words" he pinches your thigh, as his hand makes its way underneath your skirt. "no i won't tell him" you whine, you could feel yourself vulnerable with every touch, that you'd agree to anything he asked from you.

"good girl" his hands grope your ass giving it a firm squeeze before his lips meet yours eagerly, you didn't waste time, parting your lips instantly letting his tongue in. "look at you, just yesterday you said you didn't know to kiss" he gives your ass another firm squeeze

"i learn really quickly"

"oh yea?"

"mhmm"he rolls his eyes at your cockiness

"wrap your legs around me" he says as he lifts you up, you do just as he says. your bodies pressed against each other.

you can feel the shape of his bulge right against your clothed heat, he grinds slowly against you making you moan.

"fuck..you have no idea how much i'm stopping myself from ramming into you right now" his kisses travel down your neck, as his hand unbuttons the top few buttons from your shirt. revealing your cleavage and collar bone. he right away starts to suck on your collarbone, gently nibbling on your skin. his hands continue to massage your butt as he rolls his hips into you.

"if i took your first kiss does that mean i have the honor of deflowering you" he kisses your jaw, tracing kisses down to your exposed neck

"n-namjoon" you call his name weakly, bitting your skin once more as he sees the hickey's decorate your skin, he looks up at you. seeing how bad he's messing you up. "you didn't answer"

his forehead up against yours "yes.."

"you're so fucking beautiful" he groans, and you feel his dick getting harder against you, his fingers move your panties aside, allowing him to stick his finger into you. you gasp at his sudden touch and your hands grip his shoulders

"w-wait namjoon"

"shh, don't be loud. someone might hear you" he chuckles, you nod and bit onto your bottom lip, trying to keep yourself from letting any other noise come out

he begins to thrust his finger into you, causing you to squirm from his touch "be a good girl and don't move so much" he groans from the sudden friction you did as you moved

you wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him into another kiss and you both instantly start sucking on each others lips, you tug onto his hair. he takes this chance to stick another one of his fingers inside of you. thrusting them upwards harder each time, you moan into his mouth.

the unfamiliar feeling made you extremely wet, this was the first time someone had touched you like this. he pulls away from the kiss, looking at you with intense lustful eyes "you like it huh, my fingers inside of you, the way to tighten around my fingers makes it obvious" he thrusts his digits into you once more, harder than before.

"n-namjoon please"

"what babe, tell me what you want"

you bite onto your bottom lip, your head leaning back. he takes the chance to kiss your neck a few more times. leaving some hickeys along your cleavage.

both your bodies stop at the sudden ringing of bells, indicating lunch was over and namjoon sighs in annoyance

"well that was enough fun for now" he kisses you one last time, as he pulls his fingers out of you, making you whine at the feeling of emptiness inside you. he stares at you as he puts his fingers inside his mouth licking his fingers

he gives your ass a few more squeezes before putting you down, making your nose scrunch at the sudden feeling of wetness between your thighs "jimin said he wasn't gonna be home tonight, what if i come over?" he asks as he fixes his hair

"uh yeah, that's fine" you tell him, as you button up your shirt. he grabs his bag from the desk, walking by you he gives you a kiss again "i'ma head out first, wait about two minutes before you go out, we don't need no one spreading rumors oh and gets some ice for your lips they're swollen " he winks at you, as he walks out leaving you all alone in the room with your drenched panties and eagerness to have him touch you more.

once the door closes you hold onto the book shelf next to you right away, as your knees give out. and you knew right there and then that you were weak for this man.

as you walked to class after waiting like namjoon said, you are zoning out as you walk. but hearing these girls in front of you talk about BTS you look up to them, trying to hear their conversation.

they said someone is planning to open a station where you basically leave letters for any of the guys, sort of like fan mail. it makes sense since they are getting popular among the school.

the whole day all you could think about was namjoon. if you saw him in the halls, he would still not spare any look at you, but you now understood why.

you all walked out of the school, and you see your dad standing by his car

"you ready jimin" he asks after saying hello to you and the guys

"i thought i would drop off y/n and then we'd leave" and you saw just how much he wanted to smack himself.

"you forgot" you say, sighing

"sorry, it didn't cross my mind" he rubs his neck

"don't worry mr.park i'll take her home" namjoon steps up behind you

"really? i'd appreciate it" he smiles, jimin looks over to you. but you were trying to control your expression and tried to not look at namjoon

"you ok with that?" he asks

"yeah, don't worry. i'll see you guys tomorrow" you smile.

jimin leaves with your dad and you stay talking with the guys a bit more, they invited you and namjoon to hang out but namjoon said he had plans and also needed to take you home. they tried to convince him a bit more before finally letting it go.

walking up to his bike he puts his helmet on you. giving your waist a small squeeze "let's go finish what we started yeah?" he whispers

----

sex

you could never really date anyone, maybe cause jimin always told you to save yourself for your special someone. and his words really stayed with you.

there was this uneasiness inside your chest, as you remembered that. namjoon and you are basically in some sort of relationship..but he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend.

is this what friends with benefits feels like? you wondered. it made you sad thinking all you were was just a fuck buddy.

we finally arrive, and he parks in front of your house. once you both get inside, taking off your shoes, namjoon stares at you as you bend over to put them in the shoe rack. naive to the fact that your panties were showing, namjoon decides to smack your ass

"namjoon!" you jump up and look at him, shocked. he laughs at your reaction. putting his bag down he puts his hands on your waist drawing you into a gentle kiss

"where's your room" he whispers between the kiss

"upstairs, it's the first room to the left " he hums at your answer, grabbing your thighs he lifts you up making you wrap your legs around him, you giggle he walks up the stairs, he struggles to open the door but eventually does. he kicks the door shut, as he walks to your bed, tossing you onto it.

butterflies erupted inside your stomach as you see him throwing his jacket and tie on the chair, unbuttoning his shirt. he leaves it at the end of the bed

he positions himself between your legs, you cover your face with your hands knowing damn well you were beet read

"don't cover your face" he pins your hands above your head

"i wanna see your reaction to every touch" his other hand unbuttons your shirt completely. you bite your bottom lip.

fuck i gotta ask him what we are

he lets go of your wrist and gets a grip on your waist, he leaves little pecks on your neck. traveling down to your stomach. you arch your back, he begins to suck on your skin, leaving hickeys all over.

"your gonna have to hide these well" he says between pecks, his hand makes its way under your skirt, as he plays with the hem of your panties he doesn't waste time and takes them off

the cold air hits your heat making you whine

"be patient, and i'll give you what ever you want" he says as he puts your lace panties inside his pants pocket, making you blush even more

he continues to leave kisses on your stomach with his arm underneath you helping you arch your back for him.

"n-namjoon" you moan

"yes" he starts to play with the zipper on your skirt

"a-are we gonna star-" his hand reaches for the clasp of your bra, and he undoes it.

"are we gonna what" he pulls it down and begins to suck on your breast.

"are we gonna. start dating" you finally ask

he stops sucking on your skin and looks up to you with a raised brow

his grip on your waist loosens before he takes his arm from underneath you. he sits up and stares at you

"i don't really do labels" he ruffles his hair

"then..where we just gonna fuck and thats it?" you ask in disbelief leaning on your elbows, your face shows the disbelief, he sighs. reaching for his shirt from the end of the bed

"you know you should listen to your brother more often" he gets off the bed, buttoning up his shirt

"what?"

"i just thought we were trying to relief each others pleasures" you were completely shocked at each word that came out of his mouth.

you felt like a fucking idiot, he took your first kiss, he marked you all over your body. you felt like crying

"namjoon" you say his name and he looks at you once more, before ruffling his hair "shit..don't look at me like that you make me wanna say yes to everything you ask from me"

i stare at him speechless, as he looks at me, eyeing the marks he left on my body. he walks over to me giving me a kiss once more but i look away. his hand grabs my chin making me face him he kisses me but i didn't kiss him back and he sighs "let me think about it ok"

grabbing his jacket from the chair he walks to the door, "i'll see you tomorrow alright" he leaves you alone in your room shocked at what just happened

"did he think we could just fuck and call it a day" you quietly say. getting off the bed you walk to the mirror, looking at all the marks he left on your body. your eyes tear up. "fuck this" you open your closet getting a huge shirt, you unzip your skirt letting it fall on the floor.

getting into your bed you wish you could sink into it and disappear, as you cry into your pillow.

"mother fucker took my favorite red underwear too" you sob

[risingsunresistance]

last final tomorrow, wish me luck o7

[antimony-medusa]

One of the things that I think sometimes gets lost when we talk about what's appropriate in fandom spaces is the notion that things can be appropriate in one space, but not for another. And that doesn't mean that the thing that's inappropriate in that setting is wrong, it just means that it's rude in that space. I think people want a single set of rules that's appropriate everywhere, but the thing is, you have to be able to assess the situation, and adjust your behaviour accordingly.

So an example. I have a fairly popular text post that was me asking about c!phil and religion in all innocence, and someone said "the only thing I have to say about c!phil is that he worships on his knees, thank you and goodnight". And I reblogged it like "I can't believe I forgot about how this fandom does phil analysis", cause it was at the height of the dilfza memes.

Anyways that's obviously a phil-is-happily-married/oral sex joke, in an oblique innuendo way, and on this site, where Phil is not here, and his friends are not here, with it being clear I was talking about the block man character, and we make jokes about sex and profanity (a very popular url scheme for a long time was "[name]shugecock" (or smalldick, depending on the joke)— that's a fine joke to make. I'm an adult, I can make sex jokes about fictional characters on the sex joke fictional character social media site.

If I was to make that joke in Philza's twitch chat, a) in his face, b) with his wife modding, c) in an enviroment where people aren't prepped for sex jokes, d) with it being not clear if I was talking about the cubito or about the real guy, that would be wildly inappopriate. I would be banned in every chat Philza mods in and I would deserve it.

That doesn't mean that it's inappropriate to make the joke in the first place though, just because I wouldn't do it at a Phil meet and greet. It means you gotta learn to read the room. (And like, sometimes it's hard to learn to read the room, but you can do it by pure brute-force memorization. I did.)

This is the same theory that underlies the fact that you can call your friends a bitch in a friendly way, because you are friends and you know each other's boundaries, but if you call your boss a bitch, you will be fired. There are rules about workplace appropriateness, and there are rules about what's appropriate in front of kids (I teach teens, I do not swear in front of them, I swear a LOT in front of my roommate), and there are rules about what's appropriate in different fandom spaces. Participating in an exchange about pregnancy and babies with your favourite blorbo of the moment? Great. Showing the actor gift art you got of him pregnant? No. Bad. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

The thing that concerns me is that I think there are slight signs that as we get more comfortable with sexy jokes and offcolour remarks as a MCYT fandom (QSMP is the big banner example but it happens with other smps), we're taking what's appropriate in one space (tumblr, home of the brain worms, where I have seen the blog "philzaswetpussy" on my dash), and we're bringing it into places that it's not appropriate (sure, slimeariana is clearly canon, but maybe don't put the actual dicks-out fan art in the art tag on twitter that slime checks). Cause we can obviously tell that the rules twitter is going with are silly for here, so it's full speed ahead for roier/spreen etc, but the trick here is that it's full speed ahead HERE, or in fandom servers, and not necessarily in the streamer's faces.

We have a bunch of situations where creators have said that it's not their place to weigh in on shipping or nsfw etc, and people have taken that as a go ahead and that's fine, but thats still something where I'd like, caution people that just because they said "not gonna look at it not my deal", that doesn't mean that like, you should make it difficult for them to avoid looking at it. Talking about scitties is an honourable tradition, but telling scar that he makes you question your sexuality in his TTS— I made a horrified noise in real life and the cats came to look at me.

And I'm talking about the shipping, but this is also a thing with like— sometimes I see a streamer and I go "my friend you just vividly described neurodivergent symptoms" but it is ABSOLUTELY not my place to say that in their chat. It might not even be appropriate to make comments about it on my blog, with the amount of followers I have. I have to keep the "streamer just described the ADHD experience again :pensive:" comments for the group chat. And we all nod and go "yeah sounds like streamer", and we do not put it in his face, cause that's inappropriate.

We get to have fun with the fictional characters, including off-colour fun, but we still have to remember that there are real people who don't know us who are steering those fictional characters around, and it can be profoundly weird to see some of the (stuff that is appropriate in fandom spaces!) just up in your face in the regular fan art tag.

Just think about the space you're in, and who you're in front of, and if a CC notice is actually likely, and if a CC notice would be Very Bad actually with what you're doing, and keep the "world's sluttiest absent father" bracket (with associated slutty fan art) for here, not with the streamer tagged on twitter.

[wheelcr]

hi flora! i loveeee your new theme! it's so so pretty and u did so well on the icon ^ anyways i wanted to ask for like, more info of finn in ur actress dr?? im so smitten for finn ajsnsa and i just wanted to know more abt him

- 🏩 nonnie

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ 𝐅���𝐍𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑. ✧ ˚ ༘ ゛

hiii there my pretty pretty nonie! tysm i'm so so happy you like it darl <3 and ofc!! i love talking about finn obv i'm smitten for him too [ dreamy sigh ] i think i also received an ask about finn from @timotheesl0ve but accidentally deleted it and forgot about it so :/ this post might be a lil diff from my other ones ^^ includes some text msgs and scenarios from my dr

♡. okay, jesus, where do i even begin?? finn is a tall, lanky, chaotic, super loud, force of nature

when i first met him, he was kinda awkward— like fidgeting and stuff, stuttered out a "hey, i'm finn" "oh i know" "oh.. well then" was not really how i wanted to kick off our friendship

♡. once he warms up enough, he's super goofy and playful. also really sweet!! :c he told me i looked pretty and that he was a huge fan of my show, and i never blushed as hard as i did that afternoon i swear

and the thing about him, he knows damn well what he's doing. the tiny smirk that crept up on his face when he saw my cheeks redden definitely told me so

♡. whatever confidence and charm he has in real life is totally amplified at work! i wouldn't say that finn is a perfectionist, because there are definitely a shit ton of moments where he's lazy and chill, but when he does something, he puts his whole finn - ussy into it yk what i mean?? you can tell that he really enjoys what he does and works hard for it, and it pays off bc the shit he makes turns out so so so good!!

♡. one thing i like about finn is that he's honest, makes it so much easier to communicate tbh ^^ he's straight up about everything, doesn't like to beat around the bush he's super genuine and sincere and i find it so akaioqjdjwfujd he's so perfect :ccc

♡. adding to the last one, he's also sometimes too honest.. like in a spontaneous oversharing kinda way...

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 25 ] — flor flora florie floorwax

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 28 ] — what do you wajt its 11pm finn

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 29 ] — bird outside my window c:

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 29 ] — also i really need to pee

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 32 ] — good for oyu wolfhard

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 32 ] — goodnight.

♡. love love loves!! vintage aesthetics! when discussing movie night in our gc he has to suggest at least one old chick flick. has tons and tons of playlists just filled with 80s music. also loves taking polaroids and low quality videos with like the grain that makes it look super old

^^ which is why finn was super hyped about the take on me cover he did with calpurnia. wouldn't stop talking my ear off about it for weeks and i honestly didn't mind. the dreamy look in his doe eyes when he talks about something he's passionate about is to die for

♡. super touch starved. doesn't initiate anything super touchy - feely at first but trust me, he enjoys it very much. he loves having his hand held. says it makes him feel grounded and safe. also loves when people play with his hair!! isn't afraid to ask for affection but will bite me if i question it

"lili can you play with my hair?" he mumbled once, face smushed into one of my velvet cushions

me being me, i just couldn't pass the opportunity for at least a little bit of teasing over my friend's little request "awww, puppy wants pets? you need me to play with your hair hmmm?"

"..." "..haha, do you still want—" "good fucking bye >:c" i almost died from laughter watching his tall figure retreating to my kitchen to eat all my banana bread as payback

♡. moody moody boy. one moment he's bouncing off the walls and joking around and having the time of his life, then he reads one hate comment or remembers something that he didn't want to remember and his mood goes super duper sour :c

like if he's upset he won't be rude or snappy but he'll definitely be super quiet and really really dry. ( his annoyed voice is kinda h— ) if he's upset by something someone did, he's not one for confrontation at first, but he's gonna make so many jabs and sarcastic remarks

♡. super sentimental lil man. he loves to take pictures and short clips, and basically document everything going on 'just for the sake of it'. i think this mainly comes from the fact that our friend group consists of a lot of vloggers. finn likes keeping memories stored in a safe place where he can edit them and make them look all pretty just for him and his friends to look back on and laugh, and i find it so so endearing

♡. okay but like despite the whole mysterious, almost like untouchable kinda aura he emits because of his thick lashes and half - lidded eyes, he's just a boy. a boy who still makes 'your mom' jokes and finds farting funny. a boy who completely bursts my eardrums with a rickroll everytime he joins discord vc. a boy who went skating with me down the street while yelling "THEY SEE ME ROLLING—" and i love him so much. he's my best friend <3

[xoxo-teddybear]

Heyo! I'm a REALLY REALLY REALLY! Big fan of angst and your works, so I have a suggestion! So like, in this au Bakugou and Y/N are aged up and they have a daughter (let's just say her name is either Katsumi or Kirumi). So, the child is 4 years old and she didn't get her quirk yet. Let's just say Bakugou got drunk when his friends dragged him to a bar and this woman decided to hit him up and let's just say he cheated- so Y/N found out because kiri just had to tell her because it wasn't manly at all for him to keep a secret and Y/N left him with his child and boom! Bad ending. Please tag me in this one tyy!

Bet.

(Changed it up the slightest bit to make Katsumi remember bc I kinda wanna do a part 2 for this)

Nobody to Blame but Yourself - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, cheating, alcohol consumption

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

You have a small, beautiful family. Your loving husband, Katsuki and your adorable daughter, 5 year old Katsumi.

Katsumi was your precious baby girl. She had Katsuki’s ash blonde hair with your silky smooth hair texture. She had your E/C eyes and Katsuki’s porcelain skin. She had Katsuki’s bravery and boldness along with your kindness and compassion. She was a perfect mix of you both.

Y/N and Katsuki have been together ever since their childhood. Their families were close and they grew up together. Katsuki always swore to protect his princess. They got together in their junior year and about 5 years after they graduated from UA high, Katsuki proposed.

—

—

“Be back soon, okay Suki?” You sweetly said to your husband as he got closer to the door. He pulled you in with a smile and pecked your cheek.

“Yeah, yeah Teddy Bear. I’ll probably be back sooner than you think, don’t even wanna go with those losers.” He complained with a strained face. You giggled at his expression and went on.

“Those losers have been your best friends since high school. You love them. You know you do,” you teased. “Besides, you haven’t spent some time with them in forever.”

“Yeah Y/N. I’m a husband and a dad. I don’t need to be around my friends, I need to be with my family.” He exclaimed with a playful voice.

“Well your family will still be here when you get back. Just as long as you always come back to us too.” You said with a wink.

“Always will Teddy Bear.” He said holding you tight. He held you close until you both heard the little pitter patter of feet running to the front door. You both looked down and saw your daughter in her pjs and watched as she jumped onto Katsuki.

“Be back soon daddy!” She said with a squeal. Katsumi was definitely a daddy’s girl. Her and her father were attached at the hip the second she was born. They were best friends and you loved their father-daughter dynamic.

“Katsumi, you’re supposed to be sleeping, love.” You said with a chuckled as you held her tiny hand while Katsuki picked her up in his arms.

“I wanted to say bye to daddy before he went to see uncle Kiri! And uncle Denki and uncle Sero and Auntie Mina!” She said and watched as you and Bakugou lip synced to her voice as she said the Bakusquad’s names. She laughed at her parent’s teasing as Katsuki assaulted her in kisses.

“That’s sweet baby bear. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. So get to bed you brat,” Bakugou said as he placed his daughter down and ruffled her hair. Others would look down on the rough treatment but you knew Katsumi never took it seriously. She always laughed and played back with Katsuki whenever he put on his ‘mean guy act.’

“M’kay.” Katsuki bent down to kiss her cheek and you followed doing the same action before Katsumi ran back off to her room. You and Katsuki said bye to each other after Katsuki gave you a loving kiss. He walked out the door to meet with his friends as he knew he was in for a long night.

It would soon shock him to see how true that statement would be.

—

The night was going well. Katsuki left around 8:30 and he said he would be back sooner than you thought so considering he was now a family man, you thought he’d be back by midnight. However, you woke up in the middle of the night and saw it was 3 in the morning...and he still wasn’t home. You were starting to get worried now.

If this was back in your earlier years of marriage, you’d say this was okay. Not great but okay, except now, Katsuki has responsibilities and promises that he vowed to keep. He should’ve been home a long time ago. Where was he? You stayed up deciding to sit and wait for him to come home and after almost 2 hours, your phone rang.

You picked it up quickly with a little bit of fear and anger sitting in your stomach. You didn’t even bother to check who it was so when you heard the voice of your husband’s best friend instead of Katsuki, you grew concerned.

“Katsuki! Where are you?!” You asked with worry as you slightly shouted into the phone.

“Hey Y/N..... It’s Kirishima. Umm...I have something to tell you.” He said with sadness detected in his voice.

“Kiri? Is everything alright? Wheres Katsuki?” You asked.

“I’m so sorry Y/N...”

Listening to the red head’s voice made your eyes pop. Your body trembled and tears began to pool in your eyes as you shook your head in denial. Katsuki loved you. You both had a daughter! A family! He would never....he wouldn’t....right? After talking to your friend for some time and getting the crucial information you needed, you made up your mind on what you had to do.

“T-Thank you, Kirishima. Goodnight.” You said into the phone with a hiccup.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You don’t deserve this. You and Katsumi....goodnight.” He said and hung up the phone. You placed it down and sat in silence for a moment. After about a minute, you broke down again and cried into your hands. You sobbed as tears flowed down your cheeks. Rivers of heartbreak and anger streamed down your face as you cried the night away.

Well..you couldn’t cry all night. Katsuki would probably be back in the morning and you had plans. You’d have to save your tears for later. You looked at the time.

4:18 a.m.

You set your alarm for 6 and went back to bed. The whole night, all you could think about was your precious baby girl. This was going to break her little heart. Instead of crying over your husband’s betrayal, you wept for your daughter’s future without her best friend. Eventually you cried yourself to sleep and the sun rose in time.

—

10:00 a.m

Katsuki opened his eyes to the alarm on the nightstand. He yawned a bit before adjusting his eyes to morning light. The more he looked at the stand, the more he realized he didn’t recognize it. Nor the alarm clock. He looked around and noticed he wasn’t in his bedroom. Katsuki shot up and sat on the bed and looked down to notice he was completely undressed. He looked to the side and saw some random woman. A complete stranger who was also naked in bed with him. His heart grew rapid as his eyes grew frantic.

“No, no, no, no, no, no this can’t be happening..this can’t be happening!” Katsuki said as his hands found way to his hair as he tugged on the blonde locks. The woman next to him awoken to his shuffling and smiled up at him. She placed her hand on his bare chest and cuddled in close to him as she sighed in content.

“G’morning handsome. Had a fun night?” She teased, reminding him of his affair and unloyal actions.

“Get the fuck off me!” He said as he jumped out of bed and found his pants. He pulled them on and continued to scream. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! The hell did you do to me you fucking slut?”

“What’re you talking about? And who the fuck are you calling a slut?” The woman said with sass.

“Just tell me where I am!” Katsuki demanded.

“A hotel! You know, the hotel you dragged me to so you could get your dick wet.” She said as she sat up from the bed but still covered herself with the blanket.

“Why the fuck would I do that?!” He screamed.

“You tell me. All I know is that I saw you in that bar, you drank a hell of a lot with your friends, I came up to you and flirted with you, you flirted back, we shared a few more drinks, and you dragged me here. I mean, I consented of course but still.” The stranger explained. Bakugou shook as he looked around in a frenzy. “Anyway, round 2?”

“You fucking bitch, I have a wife!” He screamed at her as he got himself dressed.

“Heh, wow. Well when your wife leaves you after she finds out you cheated, give me a call.” The woman said as she layed back down on the bed. Katsuki seethed at her as he squinted his eyes in disgust.

“You shameless slut. Like hell I will! And Y/N’s not gonna leave me! She loves me! And I love her-“

“Sure didn’t seem like it last night~” the woman said. Bakugou had enough and blasted the bed she was on with his quirk before cussing her out and leaving her there. He quickly ran out the hotel and found his car. He hopped inside and started it as he quickly sped off home.

“Shit!” Bakugou screamed at himself. How could he do that?! How could he cheat on you?! You were his everything! You and Katsumi! His two girls were his entire world! And he betrayed the both of you by doing this. He could only hope that you wouldn’t find out. He can’t tell you what he did. He would lose you! He can’t lost you! This whole thing just has to pass over and things will be fine. Right? Well something didn’t sit right with him as he inched closer and closer to his house.

—

When the 6 o’clock alarm rang, you woke up, ready for the day to begin and the drama to unfold. You were quick to get yourself ready. Brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, a little makeup, and you packed your important belongings and your clothes. Everything else would be replaceable. You put on a pair of shoes and put the rest in the large suitcase you had.

You made a quick call to Mina, assuming she already knew what happened. You asked if you could drop Katsumi off for some time and she of course said yes. After saying ‘thank you,’ you brought all your bags into your car and went back inside to get your daughter.

You walked into your daughter’s bedroom to see her sleeping peacefully. Next to her bed, a framed picture of your once happy family. It was Katsumi’s 4th birthday and she didn’t want to spend it with anybody else except for Mommy and Daddy. Now, you were gonna have to take someone out the picture. You shook your daughter awake and watched as she opened her beautiful E/C eyes that resembled your own.

“Katsumi..hey baby, wake up.” You softly said with a reassuring smile to not alarm her. You watched as she rubbed her eyes with her tiny fist and looked up at you.

“Mommy? What’s going on?” She asked as she looked around in a daze.

“You’re gonna have a little play date at Auntie Mina and Uncle Kiri’s house. Uncle Denki and Uncle Sero will be there too! You excited?” You asked with enthusiasm to hide your pain.

“Really Mommy?!” Your daughter asked with excitement.

“Mhm! Get ready and get dressed for Mommy. They’ll be here at 8, okay?” You said rubbing your daughter’s back before she quickly jumped out of bed and into her own bathroom.

“Okay Mommy!” She said as she ran into the bathroom, turning on the sink to begin her morning routine. Some time passed and Katsumi got dressed and you went back in her room to help her dry her hair. You helped her put on her shoes and by the time they were on, Mina and Kiri were already at the door.

You opened it with a soft smile and the couple looked at you with supportive, sad eyes. “Hey guys..”

“It’s okay to be sad Y/N, we’re here for you.” Mina said. Your eyes teared up at her words but you shook your head and gave her a hug.

“Thank you, but I promise myself I wouldn’t cry. At least, not when Katsumi’s around. I gotta be strong for her. Her whole life’s about to change after all.” You sadly said as you looked down and released your hold on Mina. Your pink friend nodded before walking into the house to find Katsumi in her bedroom. You and Kirishima stayed at the door and talked a bit more.

“I’m so sorry for all of this Y/N. I should’ve been watching him more.” Kirishima said as he looked down in sorrow.

“Kiri, you shouldn’t have to watch him. He cheated and that was his choice. Your choice was being a true friend and telling me. A true man,” you joked. You both gave a little bittersweet laugh before calming down again. “Thank you so much Kirishima.”

The red head did nothing but pull you in for a tight hug. You almost cried on his shoulder before your daughter came to the both of you. “Uncle Kiri!”

You both separated and looked down at the excited 5 year old. She jumped onto her uncle and he happily held her in his arms. “Hey squirt. Ready for a day full of fun?”

“Mhm!” Katsumi replied. You all talked some more before Katsumi said her goodbye to you and went off with Kirishima and Mina. You shut the door and took a break as you allowed a few silent tears to drop. You wiped them away and went to pack your daughter’s bags. Just a few more hours and he’d be home..probably. All you knew was that you’d have to face him eventually.

Finally, you finished packing your daughter’s things and placed them in your car. You put on a jacket and waited for Katsuki to walk through the doors. Soon, this perfect little family would go crumbling to the ground.

—

Katsuki pulled into his driveway and his eyes took notice of your car still there. He smiled at the sight and quickly got out of the car. He slammed the vehicle door shut and ran to the entrance. He unlocked the door in a rush and to say he was happy to see you on the couch, still there, was an understatement.

“Y/N! Hey Teddy Bear! I am so sorry!” He said as he ran to you and sat down next to you on the couch, pulling you in for a tight hug. He was too happy to even notice your jacket and shoes that you wore.

“Katsuki, you were gone all night. Where were you?” You said in a soft voice as you placed your hand on his chest so you could face him.

“I-..I overdid it and spent the night at Kirishima’s. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, love. I was passed out the whole night.” He said and attempted to pull you in again but you pressed a hand to his chest to stop him. You couldn’t believe he was going to lie to you. Actually, now that you think about it, cheating wasn’t below him so why would lying be either?

“So why didn’t Kirishima call me? Or Mina?” You questioned. Unfortunately, you underestimated Katsuki’s quick tongue. He was a good liar, and if you hadn’t already known the truth, you’d probably believe him.

“Shitty hair’s phone died and Alien girl was asleep by the time we got back. By the time he put me in the guest bed, I knocked out so don’t asked me what happened after.” He said. Your anger and fury grew at his lies but he didn’t notice. “Look, I’m so sorry I came back so late but I can make it up to you Teddy Bear. Now would you just give me a hu-“

“SHUT! UP!” You screamed as you pushed him off of you. You stood up from the couch and Bakugou watched you in “confusion.” Bakugou felt his heart racing as he had a guess at why you were so mad but he refused to believe it.

“T-Teddy Bear, whats wrong?” He asked with shaky hands as he tried to reach out to you but you dodged all his attempts.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! You’re fucking lying to me! You’re lying to me after doing what you did! Katsuki, are you just gonna act like you don’t know what you did?! Because I know! So why don’t you?!” You screamed at him. Bakugou still couldn’t believe you knew so he tried his soft attempts once more and reached out to you again.

“Baby, please calm dow-“

“Are you fucking serious Katsuki? You’re gonna tell me to calm down?!” You laughed out in disbelief. You watched as Katsuki’s lip began to tremble and he looked down in shame. “Say it.”

“What?” He spoke softly.

“Say what you did.”

“......”

“Say it Katsuki! Tell me what you did and how you betrayed not only me but your daughter too.” You specified. It took Bakugou a second before he spoke up in a soft, quiet voice.

“I cheated on you...”

“Louder.”

“I cheated on you!” He said while standing up and facing you with tears in his eyes. “I cheated on you! Okay?! I got drunk last night and slept with someone else but baby I swear I didn’t mean it!” He said as he walked to you and tried to hold you. You once again pushed his hands away before speaking back.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not Katsuki! You still did it!” Your voice grew dry as it began to break. Your eyes pooled with tears as you continued. “I would’ve NEVER done that to you. I wouldn’t even be CAPABLE of doing that to you Katsuki! Because I love you!”

“I love you Y/N! I swear I do!” He fought back but you retaliated.

“It doesn’t seem like it! Because you slept with someone else! You promised me you would never hurt me. You promised you would always protect me. You promised me that you loved me and only me! Not only that but you promised your daughter that you would never bring harm to her! Guess what?! You’re the reason her whole life is going to be so fucked Katsuki! Do you realize that?!” You screamed at him.

“I do, Teddy Bear, I do!” He said.

“Don’t fucking call me that Katsuki!” You said with an exasperated voice. Bakugou shook his head as he walked to you and kneeled infront of you.

“Baby, please! I’m sorry! I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake but if we can forget about this I promise I’ll make it up to you!” He begged.

“Forget? Forget?! Are you insane?! I’m never gonna be able to forget any of this Katsuki. How the hell am I supposed to forget that my first friend, my first love, my first kiss, my first everything betrayed me like this! How am I supposed to forget that my husband, who I’ve known since we were fucking babies, cheated on me?! Tell me!” You said as the tears finally fell.

“I don’t know...I don’t know but I promise I can make it up to you! So please forgive me! Please stay!” He pleaded. The whole time he couldn’t let go of you. Every time you pushed him off, he just came right back.

“How am I supposed to trust that you’ll actually keep that promise?” You said softly with a sad voice. “If it wasn’t clear already, I’m not staying. We’re getting a divorce, Katsuki.”

Bakugou felt his heart shatter. He looked at you with his trembling body and shaky irises. “W-What?”

“Katsuki...you cheated. There’s no other way around it. No explanations or excuses. And you can’t even blame it on the alcohol because I’ve been blackout drunk before too and the idea of cheating on you never even crossed my mind. You have nobody to blame but yourself.” You said with a broken voice and a shrug. “We’re getting a divorce and I’m taking Katsumi with me.” You said and began to walk to the door.

Bakugou couldn’t believe what he just heard and so he got up from his knees and ran after you. He ran in front of you and held you by the shoulders. “What?! No! Baby!! Please, that’s my daughter! You can’t just take her from me, please!”

“I won’t be taking her from you,” you said and pushed his hands off your shoulders. “We can co-parent, but when she’s old enough, when Katsumi asks why we’re no longer together, I’ll be telling her the truth. So you can still see her, but when she’s ready to know, if she decides she hates you and doesn’t want to see you ever again, then you’ll have to accept it.”

At this point, Katsuki began to openly cry as he allowed his fat tears to flow down his face. Hiccups left his mouth as he shamelessly sobbed infront of you. ��Y-Y/N....please don’t go. You guys are my family, you’re both my entire world..I-I love you both so much,” he said and went in to grab your hand, which you allowed. “I know I hurt you both a-and I know I fucked up, but please just give me another chance. I swear this was just a mistake, I never meant to do it. Please stay...please let me fix my mistake. I love you.”

Tears once again filled your eyes but you didn’t allow them to flow. “.....I love you too Katsuki,” at those words, Bakugou felt a bit of hope. “But I just can’t stay with you. If it was just me..I probably would give you another chance..but Katsumi is your daughter Katsuki. She’s your own flesh and blood and you betrayed her. You’re supposed to be her hero and you betrayed her like this. I just can’t trust the fact that you won’t do something like this again, and not just for my sake but for our daughter’s too. I’m sorry, but this is where we end.”

Once you said that you walked away from Bakugou, leaving him in shock. He stood there, regretting everything. Not just his mistake, but all the times where he could’ve been a better husband.

‘I should’ve held her more..I should’ve been home more...I should’ve been more for them,’ he thought until he heard the door open and slam shut. He turned to face it and looked around the now very empty house. He allowed silent tears to drip down his face and then he took a little tour of his new environment.

He walked to the master bedroom and saw all your belongings gone. He saw your closet was empty, all your shoes gone. He went into the bathroom and saw all your stuff was missing. The tears flowed faster and when he walked into his daughter’s room, it made it 10x worse.

He opened the door to the pink room and saw her bedsheets missing, all her toys gone, her closet was barren, and her bathroom was hollow. He walked back out to his little girl’s former bed and sat down. He cried on the bed and sobbed into his hands. He broke down as he thought back to your words. You were right.

‘You have nobody to blame but yourself.’

Katsuki looked up from his hands and when he did, he took notice of the picture frame that was left faced down on the night stand. He picked it up and his heart turned to dust. It couldn’t break anymore. He looked at the picture of his once happy family. His beautiful wife, his blessing of a daughter. His two girls who had a protector...that protector was supposed to be him...and he failed. He smiled at the picture but continued to cry. It was a beautiful sight but you left it behind.

He took the picture with him as he walked to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and held the frame close to his chest as he layed down on the cold mattress. Tears still freely fell as a shadow casted over his eyes. No words could be said except for a few.

“N-Nobody to blame but myself.”

@darl1ngmei

A/N: Hey Cubs! It’s been awhile since my requests have been closed AND THEY STILL ARE but the reason why I took this one was because I’ve been on a writing spree recently (I literally have 15 drafts full of different writing pieces🤣) and I rly liked this request! Please don’t start sending requests because they may just get lost. When I open up my requests, then you guys can send some because I love to satisfy! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this piece and thank you to the cub who requested this! 🧸💗

[validyouthclub]

The greatest word in the English Dictionary: "Yes"

*iMessage received from Her*

Me: So, will I be seeing you tomorrow at the park?

Her: Yeah! I'll be there, when will you be there for?

Me: Ummmm, honestly I think around noon, it's just a matter of when my mum can drop me off since she's my only ride.

Her: Sounds good, i'll be there around the same. There's going to be a fair few of us.

Me: Ooooh okay okay guess i'm gonna have to stick with you, you're my best bet at a conversation compared to the rest.

Her: Aww that's okay we can keep eachother company.

Me: Can't wait! Okay i'm gonna head to sleep, i'll see you tomorrow :)

Her: Okidoke! Goodnight :)

*The Next Day*

*iMessage received from Her*

Her: Hey! Where are you at?

Me: Sorry! My mum was running a bit late, i'm here. Just near the gate so i'll be there in a minute, where abouts are you all?

Her: We are all at the tennis court.

Me: Okay i'll be there in a minute.

Little over a few minutes later I arrive to the tennis court within the park.

Me: Hey hey! It's so good to see you again!

Her: It's so good to see you aswell!

Me: So what have I missed?

Her: Oh nothing much, just the lads being dumbasses as per.

Me: Ah yeah they're usually like that, I just like to watch them be themselves for entertainment.

Her: I like to do the same it's funny to watch them simply exist.

Me: Exactly! Like look at them, they can't even play tennis properly.

Her: I know right! How abouts we show them how to really play.

Me: Lets do it.

After a very long and exausting game of what some call an insult to tennis we gave the rackets to two of our friends and sat down.

Me: *Out of breath* Jesus Christ. Tennis is a lot more tiring than you think.

Her: *Also out of breath* It was so much fun though. Wow I can't catch my breath.

*One of the lads shouts*: Let's go into the main area of the park!

Me: Alright lets go with them

Her: Okidoke!

As time passes, our bunch of 18 year old friends playing in a childrens park slowly started to dissipate as they went home, until it consisted of just me, her, A, B, C and D. We all stood and sat on a small childrens obstacle course and began talking.

A: ...So it was just me and C at the end of the night just non-stop ordering more drinks and then suddenly he just...

Me: *talking to Her while A continues his story* His talking never stops doesn't it?

Her: Oh my god I know right, he just somehow merges his stories together so it forms one non-stop conversation with himself.

Me: Shhhhhhh haha.

D: So what are you two gonna do after this?

Me: I'm not too sure I might head home.

D: That's fine, i'm gonna be going back with C anyways.

C: Yeah we're gonna get going now so we'll see you all later.

C and D wave as they leave the park. A finishes his story and stands next to B and talks to her.

Her: I'll be heading back home soon it's getting dark out.

Me: Oh if you'd like I can walk you back to yours, better safe than sorry.

Her: *With a slight smile* Sure thing, i'd like that.

Me: So A, what are you gonna do, me and Her are gonna be heading back to her house, gotta keep her safe in this area.

A: I think i'll walk B back to her house

Me: Ah cool, well me and Her are gonna get going, it's getting dark out and i'm freezing.

A: That's fine, i'll see you two around.

Me and Her walk out of the park towards her house which ended up taking half an hour given the distance. We head out onto a bike path and walk along the pedestrian side to allow the night-time bikers past us. As the sun drops down below the horizon, so does the temperature.

Me: I've never been through here before it looks so nice.

Her: I love it, it's one of my favourite places to walk down

Me: Wow is it just me or is it just really cold now

her: It's so cold, hands are freezing cold. Here, feel them.

As we keep walking straight she picks up my swaying hand from my side and holds it. The touch of her delicate hand against mine fills me with a warm glow following up with a flow of relaxation and safety that I haven't felt before.

Me: *I look over at her with a slight grin* Oh wow you really are cold, we gotta get you back to your house so you can get warm.

Her: *with a small smile* Sounds like a plan.

As we keep walking forward our arms lower down with our hands still holding, then eventually our fingers interlock to secure our connection together. For the remainder of the walk we'd enjoy the comfort of eachothers company.

We exit out of the trail and head out into her estate where we are surrounded by houses, she guides me on every turn and bend by slightly pulling on my arm to show me the way.

We approach her house. We let go of eachothers hand as she walks up the driveway to her door and I stand on the path

Me: Oh wait is this your house? It looks lovely. Well I better get going.

She turns around and holds her hand up and grabs the air to indicate to come with her into her house. My heart rises with excitement, but then the anxiety begins. My mind starts racing and a variety of questions and panicks run through, "what if I meet her parents?", "does she like me back?", "what if i'm not welcome?"

We walk towards the living room, I see her parents are sat there and she greets me to them.

Her: We'll be upstairs!

She grabs hold of my hand and gently pulls me up the stairs and leads me into her room. There is a certain smell to it all, a freshness but filled with a soft coziness that makes me immediately feel welcome.

Her: Would you like to watch a film? we've still got a few on our list to watch.

Me: Sure! What are we gonna watch?

Her: Hmmmm....

She grabs the laptop thats on the desk across the room and sits down on the bed. I sit down next to her, we both sitting up against the headboard. She puts on a film, "A Whisker Away" appears on the screen.

We both lean back and tuck our legs under the covers. She grabs my right arm and lifts it over her head and puts it around her neck and then leans into my chest, resting her head against me.

My heart skipped a beat. I was filled with this joy that I simply cannot put into words. It felt like every worry I had around me had paused. And for the entirety of the film we were together, keeping eachother safe from the world around us.

As the film finished, we sat up and stretched from our little burrow in the bed.

Me: Well I really enjoyed that, it was such a lovely film.

Her: It really was!

we chatted for the remainer of the night, as the clocks hit 2AM we decided it was my time to leave so I had ordered a taxi.

Me: The taxi is here, it was lovely seeing you and thank you for inviting me into your home.

Her: It's okay! I really enjoyed tonight.

We walked downstairs and she opened the door for me, said our goodbyes and I walked out into the night and got into the Skoda Octavia that was branded with the taxi company on the side. As the driver pulled off, I waved goodbye.

*iMessage received from Her*

Her: Get home safe!!

Me: Okidoke will do!!

A few days pass by, sending eachother messages and we eventually arranged for me to go to her house again for the day and to have dinner there. Today is going to be the day i'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend. I'm going to do it today. I will do it. I will.

I arrived outside at 2PM, knocked on her door and she answered with a huge smile on her face. We went upstairs to her room and sat down on her bed and just chatted, sat on our phones and had a laugh. We got shouted down that food was ready so we got up and went down. I would take a random deep breath when it went silent so I can force myself to ask her to be my girlfriend.

An hour went by as we ate and talked with eachother and I bonded with her parents. We finished up and went upstairs, turned off the lights, got the laptop and layed down in bed. Every We rest our heads against eachother for a minute. We look to eachother, I look into her eyes, I couldn't tell if they were shining from the laptop screen or because I was admiring them so much. We slowly move our heads closer and we lean in to kiss. Our lips touch as we slowly kissed for the first time.

We lean back with smiles on our faces.

Me: Well that makes it a whole lot easier.

Her: Makes what a whole lot easier?

Me: Will you be my girlfriend?

Her: *with a smile that progressively gets bigger* Yes

[sainadazai]

Chapter 5

^^^

A/n Hey I drew a lil doodoo drawing of y/ns suit

So yeah, this was a quick one when I was bored. Maybe Ill do more art for this book and better art later. I also apologize for the body type being on the side of thin- curvy.

I simply drew the common body shape for MHA's animated style, and then made the thighs a lil thicker because I felt like a garter deserves some nice thighs . If its not your body type, or it offends you, I apologize, and I can take it off this story if it bothers anyone.

Anyway..

-

On the way out of school that day, you could faintly hear the quarrel of two boys from your class, the ones whose fight earlier scared Ojiro. They seemed to have so much in common, and yet it pitted against them. They needed a wake up call, but it wasn't yours to give. The yelling was hard to just walk by, but you did your best to tune it out, you'd ease dropped enough earlier when you watched them put their hearts into their battle on the screen.

Still, your mind was preoccupied, so you walked past them easily, not even sparing a glance. Eyes stuck to the ground in concentration. Just trying to follow the little scrapes and grooves in the sidewalk you stood on.

Todoroki said thank you, after you apologized. As if he'd never heard it before, that's what his voice sounded like. Like no one ever noticed that fear he had in those heterochromatic eyes. Whatever happened to him, stuck with him. Bothered him, even. You could just tell.

Why hadn't you said something more? Or maybe all you said was all he neede-

"Oof!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you," He did see you, he saw you from meters away, looking at the ground. Perfect time for him to execute his plan.

You looked up from your spot on the ground, having fallen over. There stood Shoto Todoroki, in all his deadpan glory, looking down at you. He wasn't offering a hand so you did your best to stand on your own while keeping your underwear hidden. The boy didn't seem like the type who would look, but you never know.

"Ah, don't worry, um, its my fault anyways." You had been waiting for the chance to talk to him, but now he stood in front of you, there was nothing you felt comfortable saying. Earlier in class you totally embarrassed yourself in front of him, and then scared him. In a mean way too, in a trauma way.

"I don't really see how it's your fault."

So he did want to talk to you? He could have simply left after the brief apologies, but he stayed, protesting your claim. That and the privacy, made it much easier to respond to the boy.

"Well, I was staring at the ground, so not really the best way to walk through a place where anyone else could be." You kept your gaze at his shoes, to prevent from overthinking and getting flustered. This was supposed to be the beginning of a great friendship.

"Hm, you always look at the ground?" He pondered seriously, as you used his voice to block out the sounds of yelling a couple hundred meters away.

What was he implying with that question? Did he mean it as an insult, or was he just curious? He always seemed so sincere with his words, blunt but soft. It was strange to you, but it felt trustworthy.

"What do you mean?"

"You always seem to be looking at the ground, like in the quirk assessment test, and when you were beating me earlier. Why do you do that, L/n?" Todoroki took a step forward, standing one meter away from you.

"I guess to distract myself?" You were guessing out loud, but again something about it felt okay. Like you could say whatever you wanted and he would still just be there, curious eyes staring down at you.

"What are you distracting yourself fr-"

"You were super cool in the training earlier!" You almost yelled at him, not feeling like describing the eyes that felt so prying on you every time you spoke. Similarly not wishing to relive all the years where talking got you beat up in alleys on your walk home, and black eyes began to mark your face more commonly than not. It's not like that would be important to him, at least your wounds healed.

He had that trauma, whatever it was, constantly screaming at him in the mirrors or reflections of himself. A scar that widens his stoic eyes at the mere presence of heat, something that must hurt him very badly. Your childhood bullies are nothing to him, so it's best to talk about anything else.

"Oh, um thank you, L/n, but you were the one who won after all. I won't let you best me again, you know."

"Oh, I um, I'm not sure that win was fair.." You rubbed the back of your neck, hiding your embarrassment for your actions earlier. It didn't seem to cross your mind that what you did was actually what you were supposed to do. All you could think of was the look in his eyes that you put there, and you didnt ever wanna see it again.

Todoroki could sense that feeling of guilt in you, he'd felt it plenty of times before. Alone in his room when he dreams of his mothers face, sitting at his desk at school, thinking of all of the times he lost control of his quirk as a kid, in training. He learned to see it in others, you felt like it was an unfair win because you had scared him. That was your job, though, wasn't it? Why were you so upset at your success? He didn't understand.

"Did you break a rule, or something?"

"No.."

"Then how could you have cheated?"

"I just.. Look whatever happened to you eye-" you stopped as you noticed him stiffen. It wouldn't be nice to make him relive his trauma either, so what were you meant to say?

"I just shouldn't have used heat, I could tell that was a burn scar and it was a cruel thing to do." you looked down at the ground feeling like the shittiest hero in the world.

"You were playing the villain, though, weren't you?" He spoke again, seeming to have regained his stoic presence and stone face.

"I guess I was, but I'm here to become a hero. A hero wouldn't do something like that."

"Maybe they would." He started talking with certainty that disobeyed his use of the word 'maybe'.

"Huh?"

"Not all heroes are what you think they are, L/n." He looked you dead in the eyes, the intensity of his aura growing and it almost felt like you were supposed to cower in fear. Still, you held your ground, despite now being only inches away from him.

"Sounds like you speak from experience," You tilted your head becoming more outwardly spoken and allowing your thoughts to exit your mouth.

"That's a topic for another day, goodnight, L/n." With that, he turned away and walked stiffly out of U.A.'s gates. Leaving a million questions to run through your mind.

Did this make you friends now? When would that other day come? Had you just eternally ruined your chances at being a hero? Was he right? Were some heroes bad, like you? Were you bad? There were too many questions for you to answer yourself. So you settled from going home and making some dinner with your parents, you missed them, after having to be friends with other kids all day. They would be your comforting escape from highschool, or well, two days worth of highschool.

-

When you arrived at the barrier-like gates of your school the next morning, you were rushed with reporters. They were men and women, tall and short, circling around you all at once. You could hear the sweet and kind voice of Uraraka from afar, but you couldn't see her over the swarm of reporters. It was terrifying.

"What's it like having all might as your teacher?"

"Is the hero course majorly improved by the symbol of peace's presence?"

"Why did All Might become a teacher?"

"Have you done any training with the number one pro?"

Being here almost felt like being in your own mind. Swarmed with questions you don't have the answers too, or the confidence to answer them if you do. It was overwhelming, the world began to spin around you and your palms grew sweaty. E/c eyes shot in every direction to find an escape but they couldn't, you were trapped. Then, little black dots started to crowd up your vision like ants in your eyes and you fell unconscious.

The brown haired girl who had been happily indulging reporters noticed your fall and ran to you, grabbing hold of your arm. She wasn't really sure what had happened, but she decided to just take you into class with her. The reporters busying themselves with other arriving students.

Ochako took it upon herself to take hold of your backpack and drag your limp body by it, all the way up the hill and into the buildings of U.A. She wouldn't admit it, due to being a bit shy, but you caught her eye on the first day of school, and she'd been meaning to befriend you. Unlike the group of girls who she noticed had adopted you, Ochako spent her first few days with Deku and Iida. Securing herself in a nice little group with them.

However, you were very pretty, and adorably shy, and she really wanted to be your friend. Then after your awesome performance in yesterday's training, she was set on it. This was a great opportunity for her to help someone out, and make a new friend!

Strange looks came from every direction as the short, pink-cheeked girl dragged your seemingly lifeless form through the halls. They were both concerned for you, and confused at her calmness in the situation. However, no one spoke on it, fearing a hero class student might have some weird reason to do a strange thing like this.

Well, no one until Deku. He had been excited to greet his friend until he noticed her unusual baggage.

"Hi Urarak-Is that L/n?!" His eyes shot wide and he almost jumped back.

She looked down to you, and then back up at the freckled boy, "Oh, yeah" rubbing her neck she added, "She sorta passed out by the reporters and I couldn't just leave her there!"

"Oh my god! Is she okay? Should we take her to recovery girl? What if she has iron deficiency? Did the reporters zap her with some sort of quirk?"

"Deku...Deku...DEKU!"

"Wahh!?Yes?"

"She is fine, I think she just got overwhelmed." Uraraka tried to calm him. She wasn't all that sure about your condition herself, but it didn't seem crazy like Midoriya was implying. You just looked panicked. Her head turned as soon, Todoroki walked up to 1.A. 's door.

"Oh, hello L/n.." he looked down at you, kicked your side a bit to check if you were dead or not. Honestly, he wasn't very surprised to see you passed out in the halls, having assumed you were met with the reporters as well. Todoroki couldn't blame you for falling unconscious, he wished he could have, too.

At his nudge, you stirred awake, and then all at once, shot up to your feet defensively. "A-All Mights cool, okay! He's fine, he's just fine. Please I-" Then your eyes cleared and you were no longer in front of the school. The people surrounding you were no longer reporters, but your classmates.

"Oh, um, hi..guys?"

"I already said hello to you, L/n."

"While I was unconscious?"

"Yes."

"How does tha-"

"Get outta my way you losers!" The puff of blonde hair and rabies stormed through the halls. Back slumped like an angry old man, scowl resting on his face. He was not excited for school after yesterday, and those damn reporters made it worse, bringing up the sludge monster incident. So imagine the rage when the annoying girl who placed just behind him on almost everything was at the door, looking stupid, and nervous, and in his way.

"L/n! You better get out of that doorway!"

You squeaked, not because bakugou's empty threats scared you, but because if you defied him, that meant speaking words. He seemed pretty good at words, so you didn't want to test it. His voice was also way too loud for someone who had just woken up from what you thought was a near death experience.

People were scary.

Soon enough, however, everyone was settled in class. You, in your seat next to Todoroki, who didn't seem quite as cold as the day prior. Not to say his face was any less stone-like or his voice was any less monotone, but the aura around him wasn't as intense. That comforted you as Aizawa began the days homeroom period.

"Decent work on yesterday's combat training, you guys. I saw the video feeds and went over each of your team's results. Bakugou, you're talented, so don't sulk like a child about your loss, okay?"

Said boy huffed a breath "Yeah, whatever."

"And midoriya.."

He continued talking about how Midoriya has to break himself to use his quirk, but you tuned it out because the memory of seeing it was pretty gross.

"L/n, your battle with Todoroki was risky, he was less than a foot away from a victory by the time you took action, additionally, you're going to have to get those nerves under control. We can't have you apologizing every time you use your quirk. It's a waste of air."

His call out of your name was enough to shock your eyes open, but him criticizing your work in front of others? That was terrifying. You knew he was right, about everything, it was his job to be, after all. Still, it hurt to hear, considering it wasn't like you intended on being shy. Your body just clamped up and started to sweat when other people came around. It got super hot and loud and scary until you muttered an apology, nothing about it was voluntary. If anything, you really wanted to be extroverted and say what's on your mind and be bold. The world just seemed to have different plans, you supposed.

"Sor- I mean, uh, yes sir!"

Todoroki shot you a side glance , internally a bit proud at your ability to stop the apology that rested on your tongue. He was having an internal battle with himself about why he wanted it and why he didn't. The argument points being; it's adorable when you're shy, it's kind to apologize - versus - you being confident yesterday was arousing, and making quick progress is a sign of intelligence. A tough battle for the young boy's mind.

"Today we'll be choosing a class representative. Hurry up and choose before class ends." Aizawa zipped himself away in his sleeping bag and the class was left confused. Until you suppose everybody wanted to be class rep. Then there was an abundance of screaming and begging. From the red haired boy, the pink skinned girl, the kind girl from lunch. The whole class thought they would be worthy leaders. You heavily disagreed.

From your experience in previous schooling, class representatives were meant to be somebody smart, strong minded, compassionate, a good leader. These were just a ton of kids begging for attention, really, you aspired to be just like them.

Aizawa was right, though, you needed to get the whole shy thing under control, and fast if you wanted people here to view you as a threat. So you decided you probably wanted momo as class rep and slumped in your seat to strategize ways to be more bold.

While you were zoning off in your seat, Iida took charge of the situation, you guessed it was always going to come down to a vote, but good on him for 'coming up with it.'

"Hey, L/n."

"Wha?! Oh todoroki, um, yes?"

"Who are you choosing?"

"Um, Yaoyorozu.."

"Why?"

"Well, she is smart, and kind, and probably a good leader, so"

"Okay. Me too then."

His words didn't make sense to you. Was he agreeing with you just because of something you said?vIt couldn't be. Maybe he was insisting that he, too, was a good leader. That would make more sense than agreeing with you.

"You're a good leader too?"

"No. I will also vote for yaoyorozu."

"B-b-but...WHY!?!" your eyes widened in shock as you whisper-yelled at him.

"You don't want me to?" he asked, still in deadpan.

"I-well I do, B-but um, nevermind." It was better to return your gaze to yo[ur desk. He would think you are weird if you said something about it being because of you. He probably just also saw those traits in momo, it had nothing to do with you.

-

There were almost tears in your eyes. It felt as if the whole world was rooting against you, cheering for your failure. Eyes were watching and glaring, it felt like it'd be better to just curl up into a ball on the floor. Be so small they cant see you anymore, then maybe the universe would stop hating you so much.

They were out of soba for lunch. You would rather starve.

Next to you, on the way to some random table, momo was complaining about how Midoriya was president. She didn't understand what he really could do, being that he was so shy to attention. He reminded her of you, but she would never say that. It would make you nervous, like you and he were competitors, and he is so much nicer than you.

"Hey! Over here!" Ashido called to the two of you, waving her hand frantically.

"As I was saying, he does show some signs of good leadership, but im worried he is too nervous right now."

"Mm, yeah.." Your hand came up to wave at said boy, who had been making an uncomfortable eye-contact with you for quite some time.

Over at Midoriya's table, the conversation about pros had shifted to you. As Iida was explaining his family business, or hero-business, it led him to the memory of having been told a story about you. About your dad, to be precise.

"Yes. And I dont think I'm the only descendant of a pro in our class."

"What?!' Ochako screamed, eyes wide and shaking in excitement.

His gaze flickered to where you walked slowly next to a rambling black haired girl. No lunch in hand and mind seemingly elsewhere.

"Yes. I recall the story of one rising pro from years ago, under the name of Magneto. He was almost in the top ten ranks after less than a year of hero work, and climbed quickly. His private life was kept under wraps but his last name was L/n. That, and the metal quirk lead me to believe that the L/n of our class is his relative in some way." Iida presented the information with less gestures than he used for his own family, but more like he was solving a mystery, one he seemed quite proud to have deciphered.

"Oh I know Magneto, he retired around the same time All Might got famous." Uraraka added.

They were both quite indifferent at this information, but Midoriya was thinking a million miles a second. He knew exactly why your relative retired. In the battle where All Might saved over a hundred people, and became famous, the battle he'd watched a thousand times as a kid, Magneto was injured, along with his pregnant wife. It caught the news a couple days later and he had written down everything.

So was this hero your father? Uncle? Cousin? Is this how you got to be so strong? He was so busy feeling in awe of you he began to stare. Lost in the gate of your stride, and the stillness of your lips, how they were pursed in a straight line as if you disagreed with something. Those e/c eyes were however lost in thought. Until you spoke something quietly and looked up at him, holding eye contact.

He blushed slightly at being caught and decided he should just wave, and you waved back.

From the other side of the table, Todoroki could hear everything. He could acknowledge that you were strong, with or without a famous dad, but he wondered if the pro-hero dad thing was the same for you as it was for him, He'd hope not, he assumed not, too. Even if your life wasn't what he had thought it was, you always smiled so brightly. When you thought no o[ne was looking, you'd smile at Midoriya's success, and the fighting of the kids in front of you. Sometimes he even caught you smiling to yourself in class, as you just wrote down some English questions.

That smile didn't feel like it came from struggle, or masking pain, it felt genuine. He found that he really liked that.

"Warning Level 3 Security Breach!" 

[gone4neow]

MIGHTY | ⓅⒸⓎ

c h a p t e r t e n

- park chanyeol x oc

- mulan rewrite [very loosely inspired by the disney version]

- warnings : cursing, dark themes, extreme violence

- work count : 2,970

previous chapter or next chapter

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Eunyeong sat outside of the general's tent with Baekhyun next to her side. The moon was officially high in the sky, accompanied by all of its twinkling friends. The general and his second hand in command had decided to keep the mole hidden in the forest until night arrived. Then, the escorted him back to the general's tent to question him.

"What's taking so long?" Baekhyun whined with a pout apparent on his face. Eunyeong only glanced at him in response. She was feeling antsy herself after the day's events. It had been half an hour and there was no sign of any activity in the tent.

"Does your head feel okay?" The woman asked after a few seconds of silence passed.

Baekhyun gave a small sigh as he lifted his hand up to his head. "It doesn't hurt as much as it did earlier."

"Good," the woman hummed. "I'll make sure it never happens again."

Just as she finished speaking, the tent entrance flew open. The general stepped out in a rush, only pausing his movements when he saw the pair of soldiers sitting outside of his tent. His eyes narrowed in annoyance when he meet Eunyeong's eyes.

"He won't speak to us," the man explained.

"Of course not," the woman huffed in exhaustion as she picked at the grass beneath her. "The other two we brought back with us didn't say anything, either. These people are impressively silent."

The general stood with his hands resting on his hips. He looked off into the distance for a few moments, his eyebrows furrowed with concentration. Baekhyun complained about wanting to sleep as they sat there unsure of what to do next.

"Maybe you should just go sleep. I doubt anything exciting will happen tonight," the woman told the man. "Besides, you should get rest after what happened to you today anyways."

Baekhyun didn't smack the woman's hand away as she reach up and pushed his hair away from the scratch on his forehead. A deep frown rest on her face as she stared at the small injury.

"Goodnight," the general suddenly snapped. Both of the soldiers turned to look at the man who was staring down at them with a scowl.

"Uh," Baekhyun gave a nervous laugh. "Goodnight?"

"Go," the general instructed the man. Eunyeong watched as the tall man lifted his hand and pointed in the direction of the soldiers' tents. Baekhyun scrambled to his feet and bowed respectfully before he trotted off to sleep for the night. Eunyeong went to follow after him, but was stopped by a large hand wrapping around her forearm. She stopped and looked up, meeting the general's dark eyes as she did so.

"Not you," he told her. The woman's face contoured into an expression of confusion. The man dropped his hold on her arm before he ducked back into the tent. Eunyeong hesitated before she entered behind him.

Inside sat Kyungsoo and the mole. Kyungsoo was staring at the man with a glare so hateful that Eunyeong felt afraid to even breath in the same air as him. How the mole hadn't spoken up about anything yet was a mystery to her. One look from the intimidating man would have her spilling her entire catalog of secrets within seconds.

The mole turned to look when the general and soldier entered the tent. His eyes lit up at the sight of Eunyeong, before they quickly narrowed with anger. This didn't go undetected by Chanyeol.

"What's the interest with my soldier?" He asked bluntly. Eunyeong blinked in surprise. Kyungsoo looked over at her, his eyes scanning her as if trying to see what the mole saw.

"There's a rumor circling through our group about a tiny soldier who stole away our men," the man began. "And now we have reason to believe the same man took the general from us when we finally got our hands on him."

"Ah, you've made quite the name for yourself - haven't you?" Chanyeol asked Eunyeong as he poured himself a glass of wine. She stood rigidly next to the entrance of the tent with her hands laced together. Her thumbs chased once another nervously.

"I guess my first message made it back to everyone," Eunyeong awkwardly said with a small laugh. The general looked up at the woman with disbelief.

"Of course it did, you son of a bitch," the mole hissed. "Now those men will never be able to return to their families after what you did to them."

"And what about your men?" Eunyeong immediately bit back, her hands separating and curling into fists as she spoke. "Look at our men! Look at the graves we've had to dig because of you bastards!"

"Hey," the general called out softly to the woman. She found his eyes soon after and felt her tense muscles gradually relax. The man motioned for her to join him on the floor of the tent and so she did. When she was seated, he passed his glass of wine to her. Quickly, she emptied the entirety of the glass down her throat.

"Where is your group located?" Kyungsoo asked the mole. The man looked over at him with an expression of distaste.

"I told you I wasn't going to say anything," he answered with a bitterness to his voice.

"What if we reward you?" Kyungsoo suggested.

"No," the man said instantly. "I won't betray my people."

"Do you think your people really care about you?" Chanyeol asked the man.

"Of course they do. When they find out my identity has been given up then they'll come back to finish you all off," the man remarked with pride. The general snickered at this.

"You're delusional," he told the man. "You have no value to them now. You're as good to them as a broken blade."

"Shut up!" The man exclaimed angrily.

"In fact, they'll probably want to kill you more than any of us after you've failed your job," Chanyeol continued.

"I said shut up!"

"We can help you," Kyungsoo interjected. "If you give us the information we need then we can protect you from dying. We can help you get back to your family. Wouldn't that be nice?"

The man was silent now. His nostrils still flared with anger, but it was obvious that the men' s words was getting to him.

"You know," Eunyeong started. "We don't judge you for doing what you've done - you have to do what you have to do to survive."

The man looked over at the soldier right away. Eunyeong felt her heart quicken at the gaze in his eyes. A grin slowly formed on his face.

"When my people come for me, I'll show them to you directly. And while they rip you apart limb from limb, I'll watch and I'll laugh. And when I make it back home I'll tell everyone about how I helped burn a tiny little bastard who couldn't stay out of everyone's business," the man told the woman.

Eunyeong felt her stomach twist. For a moment she felt as if she were going to throw up from the visuals that ran through her mind, but she had to remind herself that the man was trying to get under her skin. Obviously he recognized her as the weakest in the room, which made her an easy target. If she wanted to win this she couldn't allow him to get under her skin so easily.

"Go ahead and fantasize about my death, but just remember that it's me with the blood of your men on my hands already. I'm not afraid of getting my hands a little more dirty if it means defeating corruption," the woman replied gravely. 

The man began to shake with rage at her words. Then, he began to throw his body wildly while shouting loudly. Within just a few seconds, Kyungsoo sat on top of the man and delivered two fatal blows that sent the man into unconsciousness. Finally, he was completely silent.

"Take him to the others," Chanyeol commanded the man. Kyungsoo obeyed without complaint. Eunyeong watched as he stood up and began dragging the man out of the tent.

"You have a way with words," the general noted quietly as he poured himself some more wine.

"I got a bit carried away," Eunyeong admitted, suddenly embarrassed for speaking the way she had. Her cheeks began to feel warm and she wasn't sure if it was due to her embarrassment or the wine she had consumed minutes ago.

"I was impressed," the general confessed. When the woman looked up at him, she saw a small smirk on his face. This prompted a smile to stretch across her face.

"Is there a reason you wanted me to stay behind tonight?" The woman wondered aloud after a few seconds passed.

The general glanced over at the woman, the smirk on his face long gone. His eyes scanned her face as if trying to understand her curiosity. "I figured the chances that he would speak would be better if you were here. Those who have emotionally wounded us are always the ones to get under our skin the easiest."

"Ah," the woman hummed. "That's clever. I'll have to remember that."

"Do you plan to be in this situation often?"

"You never know what tomorrow will bring."

That was the truth. When the next day arrived, the general announced that it was time to get a move on again. While the other soldiers packed up the camp and prepared to depart, Kyungsoo and Eunyeong snuck away into the forest with their newest prisoner. They planned to question the man, but knew it would be difficult to get any answers out of him.

"Are you guys serious?" The man scoffed as Kyungsoo pushed him to the ground. The sound of his knees hitting the fallen leaves on the ground emitted a crunching sound. Eunyeong realized only in that moment that summer was beginning to fade away.

"You think a guy with an expression like that on his face is ever anything but serious?" Eunyeong asked the man as she pointed over at Kyungsoo. She received a glare from both of the men in return.

"I'm not telling you bastards anything," the man spat angrily. Eunyeong and Kyungsoo shared a look of annoyance.

"We'll see," Kyungsoo told the man in a voice so calm that it was almost unsettling. His words made a sinister grin break out across the man's face.

"What are you going to do, kill me?" The man taunted. "Then you really won't get any information."

"Don't think of yourself so highly. We're going to end this war with or without your information. It's up to you whether you want to die now rather than later," Kyungsoo responded to the man.

Eunyeong watched the man closely as he contemplated his options. It was interesting to see someone so deranged from reality try to cope with a stressful situation. There was no doubt that he was struggling to keep up his act. When his eyes found hers watching him closely, his fake smile began to fall. The way his eyes instantly grew darker was a dead giveaway of his feelings towards the woman.

"Who's going to kill me?" He asked. "Do you think shorty's got it in him? Because I don't."

"Is that so?" Eunyeong asked in amusement.

"Yeah, that pretty little general would be a better option. Where is he anyways? Does he always let others do his dirty work for him?"

Eunyeong eyed the arrow that was still stuck through the man's hand and stopped herself from releasing a laugh. "Isn't your hand evidence enough that he's more than capable of doing it himself?"

"You always have something to say," the man snapped. "I can't wait till I'm free again. I'll make sure to strangle you myself. I've daydreamed about watching the life slip out of your eyes for the last two days!"

"Enough," Kyungsoo grunted as he kicked the man backwards. The man released a sharp breath of air as his back collided with the ground. Eunyeong watched as her senior stepped over the man and pressed his foot to the mole's throat.

"If you don't give us information in the next minute, I'll make sure you won't live to share another word with anyone," Kyungsoo threatened the man. Eunyeong felt goosebumps form on her skin.

In response, the man began to laugh - though the sound was more comparable to a wheeze than anything else. The woman thought he was completely insane as she watched his chest shake.

"You want information?" The man breathed out. "I'll only speak to the short one from now on."

"What?" Eunyeong asked in surprise as she met Kyungsoo's eyes. He removed his foot from the man's throat and walked over to the woman.

"Let's try it. You talk to him and see if he speaks. If he doesn't, try to scare him," the man told her in a low voice as he turned to watch the man on the ground breath harshly. The woman hesitantly nodded her head in agreement.

She walked over and looked down at the man. He stared up at her with wild eyes. If she looked close enough, she thought maybe she could see fear swimming in them. It was this small observation that made her frown. It was true, this man was this enemy, but she had never paid much mind to the fact that he was still very much human.

"I don't want to hurt you," she confessed to the man in a gentle voice as she crouched down next to him. "If you work with us then it'll be easier for you. If you're afraid of the other guys, I can promise my protection to you."

The man rolled eyes eyes at her words. "I don't want to be on your side. I'm fighting for my cause."

"Right... and that's clearly working out for you," she remarked.

"When we get rid of you then things will work out," the man said. The woman blinked with surprise at the way it sounded as if the man were convinced his words were true. He truly believed that she was the sole reason for the enemies' loss so far?

"You think too highly of me," she told the man. "I was simply in the wrong place at the right time."

"You'll be in the right place soon enough. Hell was made for bastards of your kind," the man hissed. It was Eunyeong's turn to roll her eyes.

"You make it hard to be polite," she commented with a sigh.

"Then don't be," the man commanded. "Show your true colors, you demon. I've already heard the stories. I know what you're like."

Eunyeong glanced up at Kyungsoo, who was watching the pair with intense eyes. Slowly she lifted her hand and let it hover over her dagger. Her eyes were silently asking Kyungsoo for permission to take it up a notch. When he realized, he gave her an affirmative nod.

"You really want to take it there?" The woman asked in that dark voice of hers. The shift in tone instantly got the man's attention.

"I'm beginning to think you don't have it in you. You a bluff. A fraud," the man pressed on. Eunyeong wrapped her hand around the handle of her dagger before swiftly removing it from its place. She brought it to the man's throat in such speed that it caught the man off guard. His eyes grew wide and he began to squirm.

"You heard Kyungsoo earlier," she cooed darkly. "If you don't want to bleed out on this forest floor on this beautiful morning, then I suggest you start speaking."

The three returned back to camp a few minutes later. The general caught them before they could officially step out of the forest. He scanned them for any signs of progress and found nothing out of the ordinary until his eyes landed on the prisoner's throat. There was a straight, bloody line that wasn't deep enough to threaten the man's life yet it was enough to alarm any onlookers.

"We got some information," Kyungsoo announced. The general nodded at the news before he turned his torso slightly and gave a sharp whistle. Right away, two soldiers came jogging up to the small crowd. Eunyeong listened as the general instructed the men to take the mole and dispose of him.

While the man spoke, she looked off towards camp at all the busy soldiers. She spotted Bakehyun talking to some of his friends. When he caught sight of her, a wide grin broke out on his face and he waved enthusiastically. Eunyeong stopped listening to the general and smiled while she gave a small, subtle wave in her friend's direction.

The sound of someone clearing their throat garnered the woman's attention. She looked over at the general, who was looking over his shoulder at Baekhyun. When he turned back to look at her, he had a disapproving look on his face.

"Sorry, sir," she quickly apologized while bowing over.

"If you're so eager to join him then perhaps you should excuse yourself," the man told her with a slight bitterness in his voice.

"No," she rushed out. "I would much rather go over the new information than to help pack up."

Kyungsoo couldn't help but snicker at the soldier's honesty. She felt her face flush at the way the general scowled at both her and his second hand in command.

"Your honesty is admirable," Kyungsoo commented, ignoring the way Chanyeol looked at him as he spoke. The woman smiled at his words. It was rare for Kyungsoo to be in such a light mood.

"Right," Chanyeol sighed with a roll of his eyes. "Let's go."

——————————————————————————

a / n : sorry again for the late post. not a whole lot of chanyeol in this chapter, but i really wanted to kind of explore the relation between kyungsoo and eunyeong. i think their personalities will really help both of them grow, even more so than any of the other relationships in this story. it’s important to have platonic relationships like that in life guys! anyways, hope everyone enjoys the new chapter. xx

[gastcrrific]

fifth member - chapter 1: queen

a/n: i'm pretty excited for this one. hope you enjoy!

so just to note a disclaimer: history itself is connected but they're not really precise! what would be true will be the more known events (i.e. rainbow '74, live aid, some various anecdotes, etc. etc.)

^^^ i may be putting that to every chapter of the story as well.

contains: roger being an annoying lil shit (don't worry it'll go away p soon), a bit of tension.

=====

૮ɦαρƭε૨ 1: φµεεɳ

1972, 12:50 PM

A week had passed since the last performance and since when the two of you met the band. You were getting along pretty well with the three and so was Deaky.

Everyone in the studio are currently studying their part, Brian and John rehearsing their chords, Roger testing the tempo, meanwhile you and Freddie are discussing about your part.

"So, Y/N, there won't be any piano present in this song, but, you can be part of the backing vocals." Freddie stated, handing you a handwritten copy of the lyrics.

It reads... Liar.

"You can pair with me for a while, since you haven't known the melody yet."

You nod, "Of course!" and found yourself doing a vocal range with him. Thankfully, you were a fast learner and got everything right. One thing you were missing is that you didn't have your own mic.

Freddie gathers everyone to rehearse his newly planned set list, as you followed.

He had already taught you your choreography together with him, which makes it look like both of you are the main focus of the audience.

Finding another mic stand, you try to adjust it to your height, yet one of the clips broke and left you holding the half of it. "This is absolutely fine, is it?" You awkwardly asked, as the singer comes in with the same equipment. "It probably is, B..." Deaky chimed in with your nickname, smiling as he rests his hands on top of his bass. You let out a small laugh and lightly bit your lip from smiling.

B is a running nickname for you that he always used through the years of your own friendship with him. He found it really pleasing and soft to call you that.

Oh how I wish she was mine... He swooned in his thoughts, his cheeks getting flushed.

You were completely nervous about this, even though he was told by Freddie that you and him will be by his side to sing during the bridge of Liar.

Nothing awkward happened, thankfully. The whole rehearsal went smoothly.

"Thank god we finally did it flawlessly!" Freddie flicks his hair, placing his mic stand carefully on top of a large amplifier. Roger huffs his breath out, throwing his drumsticks in the air and catching it in his hands. Brian sets his instrument down and so does Deaky. You also placed your mic stand next to Freddie's, but it had a different color.

You follow your best friend to make your way to the mixing room, but suddenly you didn't see the wire that's hanging from the amplifier. Ever since your habit has grown, you've told your clumsy self, "Once you embarrass yourself, there's no going back." majority of your own accidents always ends up to that. But this one doesn't seem to go that way.

"Oh!–" You exclaim, holding onto someone's arms, unexpecting the impact. Catching your breath and looking up, both of you had an astonished expression.

It was John.

He's holding you in his arms, few inches away from your faces. If it had gotten more closer, your lips would be meeting with his.

A heated tension fills up between the two of you.

Cheeks reddening, you slightly pulled away and stood up gently, "T-thanks, Deaks. God– I should be more careful next time..." Muttering the last part, he softly rubs your shoulder with a reassuring, yet shy smile. "It's okay Y/N... You're welcome." He hummed in the most adorable way possible as he helped you up, and made your heart skip beats.

Witnessing this endearing moment, Roger in the mixing room gives a fishy look at the curly haired guitarist, who's clearly unamused. "No. This is clearly none of your business. They're just friends remember?"

"Yeah but what if they're friends with benefits?" The blonde nagged, causing Brian to gasp in disgust.

The lead vocalist playfully slapped the drummer's shoulder, "Roger, get your fucking mind out of the gutter!" he had his arms crossed and a smug look. "Okay! Okay! I'll stop!"

You and Deaky have finally set foot inside the mixing room just as when the chaotic blonde had gone quiet. Sitting at the velvet textured couch, there was still a tiny amount of tension between the two.

That was your first time getting your clumsiness caught by him. He was never present when you had small accidents, but it sure did felt like you had been egged in the face.

Looking down, nervously fumbling with your own hands and your heartbeat pacing faster, you stutter, "I'm really sorry, John, I always avoid to be this way but I just basically embarrassed myself–"

Suddenly he raises his hand to pull you close and rub your back. Deaky gives you a comfortable grin, "Hey, B, I said it's okay.. You don't have to apologize." and finally, he warmly pulls you into a hug, burying his face to your neck, smelling your fragrant lavender cologne. Startled, you slowly wrap your arms around him, hugging back. "Thank you..."

As you two broke apart, Freddie had let out a noise of excitement which made you look at him. "Tonight, 7:30 PM, at a bar. We should be preparing ourselves soon!" He announced, earning a nod from everyone. "So, you know the drill."

"Roger, be attentive. Don't stare at the audience for too long!" The drummer nods and simply replies with "Alright!"

"Brian, double check your strings and let your inner rockstar out!" The guitarist gently tugs a grin, nodding.

"Deaky, remember to bust out your bass lines. The bassist needs more appreciation!" Your best friend smiled sweetly and nodded as he was flattered.

"And Y/N, you're always one to count on. Be graceful with me onstage!" You can't help but happily smile and giggle at his enthusiasm. "Yes, sir!" You playfully saluted.

6:55 PM, at a well-known bar...

Your band is queued next right after some light polka band is done performing for the audience, everyone's excited, except for one.

Deaky.

You had been noticing him taking deep breaths every minute or so. He tried to seek comfort from you, but to no avail, he never did. Being the good friend you are, you called out for him.

"Hey, Deaks. Everything's gonna go well with our performance, alright? If you think it's gonna go badly, it sure won't. I promise." He listens, calming down. "All you have to do is focus." You smiled fondly, and gave him a warm hug.

Just as the hug ended, the speaker outside had called for your group. "The next performers will be: Queen!"

"Let's kill it, darlings." Freddie mumbled loud enough to hear.

Stepping up on the stage, he greets everyone in the audience and started introducing every single one of you. "And these two lovelies are new ones! Meet Y/N L/N and John Deacon!" He waved and so you did, some people in the audience already likes you and the others despise you.

After the introduction got out of the way, the show has begun. It was only 4 songs so it wasn't too long. Nothing did go wrong in fact. The longer the songs progressed, the more wild the audience got. This was more than what you expected, and so did everyone else in the band.

"Thank you and good evening!"

8:04 PM

Right when the show has been done, all of you are finally in the van, a ride on the way to Freddie's flat. The conversation that he opened was about having to release an album.

"Where would we be getting the money for it then?" Roger stated, going to a sharp turn to right. "How much do you think this van is worth?" The singer questioned, and left the blonde to wonder. "Maybe we can discuss this later, Fred. We'll figure this out."

Reaching the destination, you and Deaky stay outside the front door, just realizing that your shared flat is just a few stops away.

"Deaky and Y/N, why don't you two come in?" He offers, but your friend protested, "It's fine, Freddie, our flat is just two blocks away." You also added "I think we could move there soon and live with the rest of you three." and smiled. "Ah, I see. Stay safe out there dearies!" The two of you bid goodbye, and headed to your shelter.

Finally getting inside, you huffed out your breath, decided to march straight to your own bed and flop on it face first. John quietly giggles while changing to his usual sleepwear, "Missed your bed, hm?" You rotate yourself so you lie down on your back to see him. "Definitely! Actually hold on let me change for a moment." You stood up carefully and changed to comfortable F/C colored pajamas. Not a second you're already back on your bed.

Even with numerous times you've seen Deaky only in his jogging pants and topless, you never stopped blushing. But eventually you manage to hide it from him. You turned off the lamp by your bedside table.

"Deaks, should we start moving at Freddie's tomorrow? It's the weekend tomorrow anyway, isn't it?"

"About that, I think we probably should... We have plenty of time to pack our clothes and other important things in the morning."

"Okay, noted. Goodnight, John!" You softly chuckled.

"Goodnight, Y/N!" He gently laughed.

What else would happen tomorrow?

—

@ixchel-9275

[elistransblahg]

1 year on T!

And boy do I have some updates! Early disclaimer for some medical terminology some trans guys may not be comfortable with.

So my dose was raised last week to two pumps of 200mg/2ml compounded cream. I am now on what is generally considered a full dose of testosterone. I don't regret taking it slow, but I'm ready to speed it up a bit!

Before we get to the physical bit, we're gonna talk about the mental stuff.

My anger issues have essentially died since starting T. I feel like my life has meaning and that I have stuff to look forward to and as a whole I'm just a much happier person. That being said, dysphoria is still a little bitch. My need for top surgery is growing and my means to get there is not (although I do know what surgeon I want). I'm so far detached from my chestnuts that even seeing other people's is dysphoria-inducing. Bottom dysphoria is also a thing now. I definitely want a packer, I'm not just debating on it anymore.

Despite that though, I'm overall a happier and more laid-back person than I used to be.

On to physical stuff! Same as always, top to bottom. Another disclaimer for those who may not be comfortable with medical terminology. I apologize for the photo quality, it's cold in my house and I'm very sleepy lmao

My hairline has definitely changed, though it's still not at all concerning. It's made more obvious by my widow's peak, which is less obvious here because my roots are coming in lol

As you can also slightly see in this, my eyebrows haven't really changed but I do have a lil bit of facial hair coming in! It's just... very blond. It's very there, but very blond. I have three long hairs under my chin and a little mustache goin on. I tried to take a better picture of it but alas, the lighting in my house won't let me.

Little comparison for facial structure, again sorry for the sleepy. Anyway... I don't feel I've changed too much since day one, changed the side I part my hair on but... correct me if I'm wrong loooool

Voice! So! I posted a quick song a little while ago and that's how my singing voice sounds now. I was never comfortable posting my singing anywhere but I'm getting there! I will be posting a couple videos of me talking later. Its bizarre to me that my singing voice has changed so much more drastically than my speaking voice. When I listen to my own voice now, whether just talking or singing, I'm actually pretty happy with how far I've come. I like how it sounds. On its own, I feel like my voice passes pretty well as a stereotypical gay man's. I'm gonna keep training it and hope it drops more c:

I have noticed no change in shoulders. I'm starting to work out though so here's hoping.

No difference in chestnuts since the last update, but since this is the one year update I'm gonna say stuff anyway. Before starting testosterone I wasn't one to bind very often because of health concerns, so I can safely say that my chest sags and no longer has any kind of self-support. I do bind regularly now as I'm starting to pass to the general public, and it honestly has not changed the shape of my chest further. My chest has always been pretty insensitive to any kind of touch, but surprisingly enough it's even more so now.

My arms are hairier (though I had monkey arms to begin with) and some months ago I had bumps all over em where more hair was growing in. Those have, for the most part, healed. The hair is blond. I'm a redhead. Why is everything blond.

I don't have any chest hair, but I do have a slight happy trail. No other hair on my stomach though.

Hips! They've lost a little bit of their shape but I was/am a very curvy person and I can only hope T will fix that.

Disclaimer for bottom talk! No pictures, don't worry!

Every time I say this and every time it's worse. The ass hair. The fuckin ass hair is real. And real fuckin annoying.

As for the front end... My clit is still growing. It looks like a lil penis. It's cute. No I will not be sharing pictures. Don't ask. I'm tired of it.

My vagina still discharges and cleans itself and all that. A lot of guys report being dry after being on T for a while, but as of yet I don't have that issue. Can't speak for the sex stuff though since I don't do that.

Okay! End bottom talk!

On to legs!

They match my arms! Very, very hairy (I didn't actually have much hair on my legs pre-t) and very, very blond (it's like my appendages don't know I'm a redhead)! Had bumps on them too while more hair was growing in, and that's also healed.

I've gone up half a shoe size since starting T. Have not gotten any taller. Did not expect to lmao.

I have started dieting and lost 20 pounds in the past four or five months. I'm so good at keeping track loooool

I'm starting weight training, so hopefully that'll help with my shape and with losing weight.

If there is something I missed or something you want to know about my experience with taking testosterone, shoot me an ask and I'll answer when I can. I don't update this blog much but I am on every day c:

Okay, I think that's it! I'm going to bed! Goodnight!

[julili]

Hey everyone it's Gemini Amethyst here. First of I would like to say thank you for the picture Ju. It really is lovely. I'll definitely have to try to write a Moomin based story for you one day. Second I have another question for all five of you. If all of you had a super power such as flying, super strength, shape shifting into an animal, etc. what would that super power be? Oh, geez I'm crying again. Why am I always so emotional?! Someone pass me a hankie. QUICK! Thanks again.

Me: Uh, sorry for the late answer, I was very busy :O Anyway, I’m happy that you liked my drawing! :33 And I also happy to communicate with you, you’re so sweet! <3 Aaah, don’t cry, please! Boyz, be gentlemen, give our friend a hankie!

69′s: But… I thought brought a truck full of handkerchiefs…

Me: Doesn’t matter! Bring another one! Gemini is very emotional one :c Just like me ><

72′s: Actually, I don’t belive in destiny, but I think that’s the one

Me: Aww, perhaps! :D

69′s: Okay, Eraiser gin, give me a MILLION OF HANDKERCHIEFS!1!!1!

72′s: I belive it was Shara

69′s: Ah, right

Me: ??? Ar- are you quoting Sonic from the game “Secret Rings”???

69′s: Yep

Me: Wow, that’s unexpected

90′s: Hey, guys, we have a question up there

Me: Ah, right! About super powers! Alrighy, let’s use imagination, uhahhahah

90′s: Uh, I already regret it…

69′s: I choose the invisibility!!

72′s: I don’t going to ask you why

69′s: So I could tickle someone very boring :p

72′s: You know I’m not ticklish

90′s: Okay, I chose the shape shifting

69′s: So you could tease someone? :D

90′s: I don’t ever tease someone :P I just want this power in case if I would want to hide from everyone to be totally alone. So I could turn into the stone and lie down under the bridge all day…

69′s: …And then realize, that all this time there was the INVISIBLE HERO NEARBY YOU!1!

90′s: Don’t crush my philosophy dreams

78′s: Oookay, but if you ask me, I would chose the flying. Y’know, to literally flying every day between clouds.

Me: Huh… that’s a pretty idea, you know… I always do that in a figurative sense! :DD (no kidding)

72′s: *looks at all posts with a lot of dialogues* We know, right

90′s: K, Ju, what about your powers?

Me: Hmm, well… I think I wish to have powers to make every people kind to each other, ‘cause it very important in out wolrd :3

78′s: Oh well, I think you can do that anyway, ‘cause you’re the future pedagogue

Me: Yeah well… who knows about my destiny ;)

72′s: Nobody. But we belive in you.

Me: Aww, stop :33 (please continue)

69′s: To be continue~~~

Me: Yeah right! And noooow goodnight to everyone! *yawns* Have sweet dreams!