#anyway it is gonna look so pretty I lov my cross

[under--pluto]

I made an online purchase and they've not given me a delivery estimate, and to be quite honest I think that should be classified as a hate crime :/

[wonlouvre]

hello!! can i request a fwb!wonwoo + angst to fluff 🥺 thank u

start | j. ww.

pairing: race car driver wonwoo x g.n. reader genre: fluff, angst if you squint, also 18+ (some sexual themes, mentions) warnings: couple’s arrangement is FWB, but nothing explicit, accident, injury mentions of sex (please tell me if i missed anything!) word count: 1.5k+ (i have no regrets)

💌: hi anon! thank you so much for requesting <3 this is not as explicitly fwb and angsty and i’m so sorry :((( i hope you still like it tho! i actually thought of developing this into a oneshot someday-ish. who knows? tell me what you think!

It’s no secret that you frequent Jeon Wonwoo’s office a lot. It’s also no secret that something bloomed the first time you introduced yourself to him after he won the race hosted by his very own racing track. You’re interested in cars as much as you are interested in the youngest owner of the most coveted luxurious cars in the world. You own yourself a few. Some you have purchased from him and some he has given himself for free in exchange for the special arrangement that the two of you have.

The attraction was quick but it took quite a while for the two of you to give in. Being professional business partners and all. But along the way, the two of you reached an agreement. An agreement that you thought would only last for about two months tops and yet here you are, eight months later, still running to his arms. You know Wonwoo is no different. 

“Hi Woozi. How’s my favorite racer doing?” You greet Wonwoo’s friend lounging outside the closed doors of the office you’re supposed to be visiting.

“If you’re here to visit your man, there’s a line,” Woozi deadpans as he boringly flips through the magazine with his fingers. “I’m supposed to be practicing with Wonwoo right now but he seems to be caught with something, someone that isn’t you.”

You didn’t fail to catch Woozi’s disdain and that only makes you giggle. You sit on the opposite side of the center table, placing your Prada purse beside your hip as you cross your legs. You feign ignorance on his “your man” remark but the term “someone” fuels your jealousy. Of course, you will never admit that to him. 

“It’s an admirer,” you say and grab yourself a magazine to skim through. Might as well entertain yourself if you’re indeed going to wait. It’s unbelievable. You keep in mind to avenge your wasted time in the bedroom with Wonwoo. “Been doing a lot of visiting on behalf of they’re old father who has no single interest in race cars.” 

Woozi frowns at the information. “How do you know that?”

You look up from the latest issue of racer weekly and blink up at him before pursing your lips. “I saw their car parked in my supposed parking spot. Plus, they send an awful lot of gifts that Wonwoo just gives away to his staff. Gifts are a normal exchange between potential business partners, but it’s not when said business partner always leaves love notes.”

“And, you’re not bothered at all?” Woozi finally asks the question you know he’s been dying to ask. 

You smirk and return the magazine to the table. Then, you pick your bag up as you stand to your feet. “Of course I am bothered. I could be with Wonwoo right now, at this moment, but they’re holding me up and I don’t like that.”

You fix your hair and skirt before strutting to the huge doors and opening them without knocking. Wonwoo is not surprised to see you but you can tell he’s relieved with the way he’s smiling at you. On the other hand, his visitor doesn’t appreciate you barging in like that. They’re resentment is pretty obvious with how they’re glaring at you. 

But it doesn’t matter. They don’t matter as you walk to the man you’re here for. 

“Woozi is waiting for you,” you cheekily say before rounding straight to his executive table to give his cheek a smooch, your red lipstick leaving a mark. You gingerly wipe it with your thumb while he just keeps smiling, looking up to you. “I wanted to stop by to invite you for lunch, but it looks like you’re busy.”

Wonwoo shakes his head and holds your hip and stands up from his chair. “No, I’m good. They’re just about to leave.”

The other person in the room panics. “But I wasn’t done explaining—.”

“My team will review your proposal and we’ll get back to you if they deem it beneficial for our company,” Wonwoo bids farewell and holds your hand to his. “My assistant will escort you outside. Thank you for your time.”

Wonwoo didn’t give them the chance to say anything else because he’s already leading you outside to meet Woozi who’s been waiting for him. You also didn’t have the chance to say your goodbyes to them because the toned arm around your waist and deep voice against your ear is enough to distract you. 

“They were cute,” you make a point to mention the culprit behind your stolen parking spot when you finally get the chance to sit down at Wonwoo’s favorite restaurant. “I think this is the third time I saw them at your office this week.”

Wonwoo gives your orders to the waiter without the need to ask what you fancy because he already knows. When the order is set, he returns his attention to you and flashes his signature smile that makes your legs grow weak. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“No, no,” you’re quick to answer before sipping on the lukewarm water you requested. “Just annoyed that during the three times I saw them, they have also taken it upon themselves to just park at my spot.” 

Wonwoo chuckles and opens his palms on the table, seeking your hand to hold halfway. You roll your eyes, but you don’t hesitate to grant him access to your ring clad hand (the ring was a gift from him and you haven’t taken it off ever since you received it). His phone suddenly dings! and you know it’s Woozi grilling him for not keeping to his end and practicing with him. 

You let Wonwoo cater to his friend’s needs all the while letting his other hand caress yours, his fingers digging on the silver band once in a while. Your heart and mind can’t help but get confused about where you stand with him because of gestures like this. 

At some point, you’re supposed to end this, right? Whatever this may be. But the real question is, do you want to end this with Wonwoo? This happiness, this warmth, this comfort, this lov—.

You step on the brakes before you could continue and blink away the daze you were stuck on for a moment. Wonwoo must have noticed you flinch because he drops his phone back on the table, eyes full of concern directed towards you.

“Are you okay?”

You force a smile. “Never better.”

It’s not less than three days later when you receive a call from Wonwoo’s assistant, voice frantically shaking as they inform you about what happened. 

To your horror, Wonwoo got injured in an accident while performing practice laps with his friends. 

You own race cars but you never thought you would be driving one beyond your usual speed limit because the stupid boy you’re in love with got in an accident. There, you admit it. You’re in love with Jeon Wonwoo not only because of his stroke game, abs, broad shoulders and deep voice among many perfect features of his.

You’re in love with him because he makes today's you look forward to tomorrow’s him. 

You try to calm your heart that’s been beating so fast because of the adrenaline and anger that’s coursing through your blood right now. Wonwoo better make sure he’s not badly injured, otherwise you would throw your hands at him yourself. 

A cut on his forehead, lips and nose. 

And a dislocated shoulder as cherry on top. 

You couldn’t mask your disappointment when you saw Wonwoo getting checked on for the last time by the doctor in charge. You grimace when you hear him groan as they place the sling on him. What do you even do with this boy?

When everyone else is gone and it’s only the two of you left, your disappointment and anger vanishes the moment he calls you.

“Hi baby.”

Your tense shoulder loosens and your legs quickly run towards him (carefully). 

“I hope you know that I hate you right now,” you say without meaning them anyway. 

Wonwoo has the energy to giggle and tug at your hand to sit beside him. He leans his head near your chest, a habit he’s been doing whenever he wants you to coddle him. Carefully and gently, you hold his head and caress his greasy locks. You’re sure it’s going to be a struggle to help him shower in the coming days. 

“Did you see your parking spot?” Wonwoo suddenly mumbles. 

“Why are you bringing that up now?” You frown. 

“I put your plate number on the wall so that no one can take the spot.” 

“Wonwoo!” 

“Baby,” he whines. “Not so loud.”

“Why would you do that?” You hiss. 

“Because I love you?” Wonwoo answers, his soft kitten eyes gazing up at you. 

You gulp and look away, trying not to smile at what he just said. 

“I was supposed to make a romantic confession over the weekend,” Wonwoo says, making you look back at him. “We’re gonna have to postpone, I guess.”

“You’re an idiot,” you whisper before pressing your lips against his smiling ones. “But, I love you too.”

“Does that mean you’ll be staying over my place until this shoulder is back to normal?” Wonwoo pleads, lips moving against yours. 

Your eyes glimmer with mischief. “Yes and that also means no sex until then.”

“Wait, what? No!”

There’s still a lot of talking to do and a lot of changes to happen. But for now, you’re just glad that today’s Wonwoo is alright. 

[xoxo-teddybear]

Nothing But a Bet - Bakugou Katsuki- pt.2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Fluff, not spell checked

Summary: Bakugou has been so broken. Nothings been the same for him but he’s been doing everything he can to get you back...but when will it be enough to win you back?

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

“Hey..Y/N it’s me...please answer your phone.”

“Hi Princess..I saw you during your training session..you did amazing like always..take care of yourself..And I love you.”

“Hi...I was wondering if you wanted to talk about this whole thing...please?”

“Teddy Bear I’m so sorry for what happened but just please let me explain everything before you make any final decisions.”

“Y/N please come back to me.”

“...I miss you.”

Bakugou sent voicemail after voicemail, text after text, and letter after letter. He tried to call you hundreds of times in the past week but they all went straight to voicemail. He tried to reach out to you through social media but you blocked him everywhere. He was lucky that you didn’t block his number. You were both hero trainees and if an emergency were to happen, you would need every resource available and Bakugou might be one of them so you had to keep his number.

Bakugou’s been so fucked for the past week. When you left him that night, he cried into your pillow. He fell asleep in your room to have some sort of comfort that night but awoke to nobody. He looked around the room and saw the previous night’s disaster date and cried some more. He even waited a few more hours in your room before he came to the conclusion that you wouldn’t return until he left. You probably hated his guts right now and Bakugou couldn’t even be mad at you. You had every right but at least let him explain everything. Please.

“Bakugou, you can’t keep doing this every night man.” The red head said. Kirishima had been walking into the common room when he found his friend on the couch again for the 7th night in a row. Bakugou’s been doing everything he can to talk to you but you’ve always brushed him off. Even so, he still waits for you to get back from training every night just in case you would break one day and allow him to speak to you. Unfortunately, that night hasn’t come yet, and Bakugou still waits to hear your voice speak to him.

“....I’m gonna get her back,” Bakugou said as he continued to stare at the door, waiting for it to open.

“But what if she doesn’t want you anymore?” Kirishima argued.

“She does!...I know she does..she left me because I did something stupid, not because she doesn’t feel anything towards me anymore.” Bakugou took a breather as he felt tears pool into his eyes once more. He shook them off before he spoke again. “..She has to still love me...I won’t be the same if she doesn’t.”

Kirishima looked towards his friend with sad eyes as he heard the slight break in his voice. His friend really hasn’t been the same since the horrible breakup and it’s been worrying him. Getting his dream girl back is the only way to fix Bakugou Katsuki.

After a few minutes, the door opens up to reveal your beauty. You walked in to find another waiting Bakugou and watched as Kirishima left as he knew what was coming. You looked at the blonde with a nonchalant face as he ran up to you.

“Y/N! Hey! ...” he never really knew what to say after that. He was always too nervous to say anything else in fear of upsetting you. You rolled your eyes at him before you attempted to walk away but he ran in-front of you to stop you from going. “Uh..do you need help with that?”

He pointed to your workout bag but you just shook your head ‘no’ as you continued to walk but before you could get far, Bakugou spun you around to speak to you again.

“Hey! Did you know..uh, there’s this great new place that opened up. I wanted to know if you want to...um..go there sometime..maybe we could talk about what happened and-“

Before he could continue you walked away again. Bakugou grew frantic as he didn’t know what to do. This would be the 7th night in a row where you just ignore him and he doesn’t know if he could go through with more disappointment tonight. He could feel himself begin to shake as his heart grew nervous. Out of fear he grabbed onto your hand before you could get away. You didn’t turn to face him but you did allow him to continue.

“Please don’t go...please talk to me and please let me explain everything. I miss you so much Teddy Bear and I lov-“

Your body stilled for a second and you ran away to your room before he could finish that sentence. You couldn’t forgive him. Not yet. You ran with tears in your eyes as you tried to shake away the thoughts filling your heard. You left behind a crying Bakugou as he watched you run away. He didn’t even try to go after you. He knew it wouldn’t make any difference. He dropped his head and sniffled as he allowed the tears to fall. He walked his way back to his dorm and cried into his own pillow when he checked the time. 9:14. It was a school night and he had to get up early tomorrow. He would have to try again the next day. And so again, with a heavy heart, he went to bed without his Teddy Bear in his arms.

—

It was morning. Another day another sad Katsuki. The blonde rose out of bed with tired bags under his eyes. He looked horrible and anyone could see that. Shit just hasn’t been the same for him. Not without her. He got up and got dressed in his school uniform and went straight to class. He just had to see you again. The more he saw you, the more chances he got at getting you back.

Bakugou didn’t really have a plan on how to get Y/N back. He just worked and tried everything he could on the spot once he saw you. Once he sat down in his seat, he awaited for your arrival. You always came in pretty early and so the second you walked in he was up on his feet.

“Y/N! Hey!”

You watched as the blonde came up to you. You looked around and noticed there were only a few students in the room. So even though this would probably hurt you in the end, you decided to drop the silent treatment.

“.....Hi..Bakugou,” you said as you both continued to stand. You gave him a quick smile before dropping it and looking everywhere but at him. Bakugou smiled at the sound of your voice and grew excited.

“..Uh- I was wondering..if you wanted to..train after school? You know like we used to?” You looked at him with a raised brow and crossed arms. Did he really think you would wanna train with him?

“It’s just- I noticed you’re reflexes have been a little off,” at that you raised both brows at him and that’s when he panicked and began rambling, “no, no, no, no! I didn’t mean it like that! You’re great! Amazing! You always are dumbass- Y/N! I meant Y/N...yeah..yeah but the point is-“

“Okay, if I say yes will you let me go to my seat?” You quickly asked.

“YES! Ehem, mm, I mean yes. Yes, I’d like that very much and I will let you..take your...your seat...” he said awkwardly but surely. You just nodded your head slowly and walked by him. Bakugou quickly and silently celebrated behind your back but stopped once you looked at him. Seeing him all excited just to hang out with you made you laugh to yourself but you quickly shut that down as you remembered who it was you were laughing at but your smile and laughter didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde. He sat down in his seat and continued to stare at you like a happy puppy.

Soon enough, more students came into the room. The bell finally rang and Aizawa walked in to let class begin. Time went by and eventually, lunch came and you can definitely guess that Bakugou, once again, tried to get you to sit with him. This time, instead of ignoring him, you simply said “no,” and kept walking.

This of course put Bakugou into a mood but he didn’t want to be stingy. You had already agreed to train with him and you always kept to your word. He was grateful but he couldn’t hide the sadness on his face.

He and the rest of the Bakusquad sat at their table and spoke amongst each other but they of course noticed their sad friend. Now everyone knew Bakugou and Y/N had broken up but only Kirishima had known why. So questions came up and Kirishima thought it would be a wise idea for Bakugou’s other friends to help.

“What’s up with McBlasty?” Sero asked, not even earning a snarl from Bakugou at the crude nickname. “Still not over the breakup?”

“It’s not a breakup!” Bakugou countered. “It’s just...a break okay?”

“Right, cuz a break involves her giving you the cold shoulder,” Mina added on. “What happened to you guys anyway? You seemed like the perfect couple.”

Bakugou cringed at her words. They were the perfect couple. And he missed his perfect girlfriend. He looked towards Kirishima to see that he was giving him the same look he always did when it came to the Bakusquad. He wanted him to tell them the truth. Bakugou sighed as he realized it was probably time for them to know.

“Y/N left me because she found out about the bet.”

Kaminari and Sero looked at each other in shock and fear. They remember exactly what happened. They were speaking on their relationship and the bet when they heard Y/N’s door slam shut. They realized she probably heard what they had said but assumed everything would be okay! They didn’t think it would cause a breakup! But who knows!? Maybe Bakugou was speaking of a different bet.

“Umm..what bet?” Kaminari asked but Bakugou only looked at him with a confused face. How could he not remember?

“The bet we made almost a year ago. The bet that ruined my perfect relationship with the love of my life. The bet that you gave me! You know? The bet where you told me to date Y/N and not fall in love with her, which I obviously failed.” Bakugou said as he straightened up at the memory. He noticed how the two idiots remained oddly silent and how they looked like they were cowering (more than usual) at the sight of him. “Why’re you acting like that?”

The boys stayed silent before Sero spoke up. “Bakugou..we have something to tell you.”

At the tall boy’s words, the whole table gave him their attention but Kaminari only looked at him with wide eyes, hinting at him to stop what he was about to do. Sero only punched Kaminari in the shoulder as the electric blonde finally gave in.

“Bakugou,” Kaminari said, “Sero and I are the reason why Y/N found out it was a bet.”

In that moment, Bakugou’s face dropped. His eyes grew wide and silence grew around the table. Bakugou’s face went from extreme shock to extreme anger. He quickly stood up and went to attack the two boys but Kirishima was quick to hold him back.

“Let go of me!!!” Bakugou screamed.

“Bakugou! You need to relax!” Kirishima realized he wouldn’t be able to hold Bakugou back himself and called for reinforcements. “Midoriya! Todoroki!”

The two boys came running and at once glance at the situation, they knew what they had to do. Midoriya and Todoroki grabbed onto Bakugou, hooking their arms under his shoulders while Kirishima stood front. The whole scene grabbed everyone’s attention, including Y/N’s.

“This is all your fault!” Bakugou screamed with slight tears in his eyes. “I lost Y/N because of you idiots! All because you couldn’t keep your mouths shut?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Bakugou said fighting against his human restraints.

“We’re sorry! We didn’t know she heard us! It’s not like we intentionally tried to ruin you two! It was an accident!” Kaminari said behind the protection of Mina.

“I DONT GIVE A FUCK! You fucking idiots ruined everything for me!” Bakugou said as his hands began to spark. He sent an explosion their way but Y/N was quick to react and get in the middle. She used her quirk to stop his explosion and everyone settled once they saw her.

“Y/N...” Bakugou whispered out as he stopped fighting. He stood still but the three boys still kept their hold on him just in case.

“It doesn’t matter how I found out or who told me Bakugou. The only thing that matters is that you and Kaminari used me as part of a bet. Do you understand that I felt like I was just a piece of a game?” Y/N explained.

“But you’re not Y/N! You’re so much more than that!” Bakugou argued.

“So then why was I even considered to be part of that bet?” You asked. The entire room grew silent as Bakugou let his tears fall. He had no answer for you. “Right.”

You picked up your bag and walked by the group, Bakugou never taking his eyes off of you. “I’ll see you in the gym later, Bakugou.” And with that, you walked off.

Bakugou shoved the 3 boys off of him as he glared at Kaminari and Sero. The boys kept their heads down as a way of apologizing to their friend but they realized they would have to do much more than that to truly make it up to their friend. As the bell rang and everyone was dismissed, Kaminari and Sero walked out together and discussed their apology plan.

—

Bakugou had skipped out on the rest of the day. He didn’t know if he would be able to hold himself back if he saw Kaminari or Sero again. He had decided he would give himself some time to cool off before he had to meet with Y/N in the gym.

At that memory he decided it was best for him to look on the bright side. He got to train with Y/N again. It would be just like old times and who knows? Maybe she’ll finally listen to him and what he has to say. Maybe she’ll take him back. Bakugou had set an alarm for himself and in the meantime took the opportunity to rest up.

—

*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *click!*

Bakugou woke up from his nap and looked at the time. 1:55 p.m. Just about 20 minutes for him to get ready and meet with Y/N in gym gamma. He got up, changed into a sleeveless hoodie, sweats, and some combat boots. He grabbed his gym bag and went down to find Y/N.

Just as he stepped out of the dormitory he saw Y/N walking his way. Was he still dreaming or is that actually his dream girl walking up towards him.

“Hey, Bakugou, at least wait for me to get ready.” You said while hooking both your arms. Bakugou held a shocked expression as he looked down at where you both were linked and looked back up towards you.

“Uh..H-Hey Y/N! Uh..sorry, did you want me to wait for you?” He said still shocked.

“Uhhh yeah? I won’t take that long, c’mon Blasty.” You said so naturally as you dragged him to your room. Bakugou blushed at the old nickname but smiled as he was quick to walk by your side. On the way to your dorm, he tried to make small talk and this time you actually spoke back! You laughed with him (or more so at his shaky and nervous behavior) and smiled more. He waited for you on the outside to get ready and you guys walked back to the gym. Again, on the way there you both had fun loving conversations. It was almost like nothing changed.

You both entered the gym and began stretching.

“So what exactly is the problem with my reflexes, Blasty?” You asked while stretching. Bakugou froze mid stretch as he realized he lowkey disrespected Y/N by saying her reflexes had faltered. And he didn’t even mean it! He just said it because he didn’t know what else to say.

“Umm...you know...I’m not saying that- that there’s something wrong with your reflexes. You’re perfect!” He laughed out but froze at what he said again. He snapped his head towards you and saw you paused your stretching to give him a look. “No! Not perfect! Your reflexes are perfect! You know? You’re not perfect, your reflexes are!”

Again, you gave him another look and he froze up again. “No, no, no! I mean-“

“You just wanted to get me in here with you?”

“Yup.”

“Mm,” you said as you nodded your head and continued warming up. Bakugou sighed as he dropped his head back and groaned towards the ceiling. He hated how being around you now turned him into a pile of bleh.

You guys finally began a little sparring match. Bakugou may be a mess around you but you can always be sure that he has his head in the game. You were always a calm, cool, and collected person no matter what happened so your fight style never weakened.

You and Bakugou had been going on for awhile. You threw punches, kicks, and quirks and it was 3 to 2, with you in the lead. You guys had several rounds with different rules. No quirks, quirks only, stealth matches, and even a no rules battle.

Finally, it was the last fight and you and Bakugou were clearly exhausted. Bakugou wanted to end it now due to exhaustion and so he ran towards you and pounced. You failed to stop him and just allowed him to drop you. You both ended up tumbling around until he finally pinned you down with his face close to your.

“I-.....I win...” he said with a tired but victorious grin. He stared at your face as you did that cute little nose-scrunch thing that he loved whenever he beat you.

“What-...whatever. I let you win..Blasty,” you breathed out as he just laughed at you. You began to laugh too and you both stayed there for a little until his gaze remained on yours. You both stared at each other in awe and want as Bakugou released his hold on your wrist and placed his hands on the ground at the side of your head. He leaned in a little and you allowed your hands to wrap around his neck. You pulled him in until your lips met and softly danced across each other.

Bakugou slightly opened his eyes to look down at you and smiled as he realized you finally gave in. He closed his eyes once more and just enjoyed the moment. The kiss would’ve gone on forever if the need for oxygen didn’t exist. You both separated with a hazy look in your eyes. A string of saliva connected you both as your heavy breaths grew and a blush covered across your faces.

“..heh...” was all that Bakugou said as he sat up on his knees and allowed you to sit straight. He sat down next to you as silence filled the room. “Soo...that happened..”

You remained silent as the blush on your face remained and you got lost in thought. Bakugou looked at you in concern as he thought you were regretting the kiss until you spoke up.

“...I’ve missed you Katsuki....and...I forgive you.”

Bakugou’s eyes went wide as he smiled. He stood up and brought you along with him. He picked you up and held you in his arms as he spun you around. You squealed in excitement and joy as Katsuki held you tight and once he placed you on the ground again, he gave you a quick kiss.

“I’m not saying I don’t like whats happening but...why?” He asked with a smile and confused look in his eyes. You only smiled at him and settled down before you spoke.

“..Sero and Kaminari came and talked to me. They told me everything.” Bakugou’s eyes went wide at the mention of the two morons who ruined his relationship. But he smiled as he realized they were the reason you were talking to him again. He would have to thank their dumbasses later. “They’ve been telling me how upset you’ve been and how you actually did love me.” You explained.

“Did and still do,” he corrected and you laughed at his reply.

“Right. Anyway, I’m not gonna lie, it was wrong for you to place a bet on me but..you spent almost a whole year with me..and they told me it was only supposed to be for a few weeks. I guess that means...”

“That I really do love you? That I really do want to be with you for the rest of my life? That I do need you in my life as mine to be sane? Yeah, I know.” He laughed as he wrapped him arms around your waist and held you closer while you giggled back.

“Heh..yeah.” You said. Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours as you both reveled in the comforting feeling of each other. You stayed in the loving embrace of his arms as you smiled even more.

“I’m so sorry for doing that to you, Y/N. I should’ve never placed some stupid bet on you but I’m kinda glad I did....it brought me to the perfect one for me. I really, really love you, Teddy Bear.”

Bakugou softly kissed the crown of your head as he whispered loving words to you.

“You’re mine again.”

“Yeah Suki..I’m yours.”

A/N: I’m sorry if the ending felt rushed😖 I feel like this could’ve been better but I think im reaching a writer’s block. 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 288: ZOOM AND ENHANCE

Previously on BnHA: Tomura, AFO, Deku, and Nana all met up inside of OFA and were all, “wow this is awkward.” AFO talked a whole bunch about vestiges before realizing that nobody cared (EXCEPT FOR ME. I CARED!!), and was then all “anyway so just to get everyone up to speed here, Tomura is Nana’s grandson.” OFA appeared and was all “what up bro I see you’re still a dick”, and then everyone stood around for a bit waging psychokinetic war on each other and blowing up on the ground and shit. This didn’t really accomplish anything, so AFO shifted gears and started trash talking Deku instead, because he’s a whiny little punkass loser who can’t admit when his brother has gotten the best of him yet again! OFA was all “anyways Deku rules and haters gonna hate, peace”, and then everyone wooshed back out of OFA and back into the real world, Deku with his quirk still intact. Meanwhile Gigantomachia and the LoV stampeded ever closer to the city, and Toga started monologuing in preparation for a seemingly inevitable battle with Ochako! And then the chapter basically just ended there lol.

Today on BnHA: Imagine you are Uraraka Ochako. And you’re out here doing what you do best, saving bitches and being a badass, when all of a sudden some old lady runs up to you and is all “PLEASE HELP ME, MY HUSBAND IS ASLEEP OR SOME SHIT, YOU KNOW US OLD PEOPLE, WE’RE SO FUCKING FEEBLE AND HAPLESS.” And so you’re all “OF COURSE” because you’re a good fucking person, and then she speeds off like she’s got fucking wheels and it’s like damn, grandma, were you in varsity track or what, and then OUT OF NOWHERE she just spontaneously turns into HIMIKO FUCKING TOGA. And she’s all naked and shit, and it’s like damn, Toga, where are your clothes, and she just giggles and ducks into a nearby building. And so you follow her for god knows what reason, and she fucking pounces on you and starts interrogating you in like the most seductive way possible, and you’re all wtf is this. Like, can you even imagine. Anyway so Ochako is having quite a day.

okay lol so I’ve gotta kind of rush through this since I’ve got other stuff I need to wrap up today as well, so! fingers crossed that we get a nice, simple chapter with no controversies or elaborate revelations or anything like that! just give me lots of stuff to mindlessly keysmash about, Horikoshi. I’m counting on you bro

lol what

an actual fucking plane?? is that allowed?? how bizarrely normal. are we sure this plane does not shoot lasers or something or is powered by someone with like a fusion reactor quirk idk

and who tf is Takeo-san. some random guy Horikoshi is suddenly introducing after 300 chapters to come save everyone at the last minute? pretty sus. Horikoshi is this your self insert

GASP

NO WAY THIS IS ALL MIGHT, RIGHT?? holy shit I swear to god if it’s All Might this lady needs to TURN THE FUCK AROUND RIGHT NOW. stop at McDonalds, order a black coffee for herself and only herself, and drive the rest of the way back home without so much as a bathroom break. there are certain prophecies which we don’t need to be tempting right now, okay people?? holy shit

(ETA: OR, here’s a thought, WHAT IF IT’S BEST JEANIST. hope springs eternal lmao. anyways though surely it’s not actually All Might. he can’t die yet, he’s got like 5 million secret things he needs to explain to Deku, and also Kacchan is unconscious and he can’t just SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL MIGHT’S DEATH like come on.)

oh look more heroes all lining up to be slaughtered by Machia

real talk, at this point their priority should just be evacuating any citizens in Machia’s path, and then getting the fuck out of his way. none of them stand a chance in hell at stopping him and they know it. the body count is already high enough as it is. regroup and live to fight another day, people

anyway, so Machia is apparently plowing through cities at 100km per hour. that... actually might not be fast enough. Gunga and Jakku were 80km apart, so at that rate it would take him nearly an hour to reach Tomura. that fight’s gonna be long done by the time they get there. huh

okay these guys are saying he’s going to reach them in about 8 minutes. ?? so are you telling me Tomura and Deku and the rest have been fighting for like 40 minutes already?? lmao Gran probably bled to death half an hour ago at this rate. Horikoshi please explain yourself. some of us spent our entire childhoods doodling comics instead of paying attention in math and science AND IT SHOWS

anyway so this is all very bad and this guy is really rubbing it in just how bad it is

I mean... yeah. obviously the villains are still to blame at the core of it all, but yeah. feels like you all could have planned a hell of a lot better for this. you knew there was the risk of Tomura waking up, and you knew there was also the risk of Gigantomachia waking up as well. and you pretty much had no contingency plan at all huh. society is really gonna be in shambles after this

lmao look at this shit. Machia is so big at this point that it looks like they’re having a picnic in the middle of some desert somewhere. at what point does it cease being a guy’s back and start being its own zip code

even has its own wifi. amazing

oh shit Compress apparently spotted someone and he’s asking Skeptic to “zoom and enhance” like it’s CS fucking I. that’s not how it works Compress you fucking boomer

anyway so OF COURSE,

was there a reason you needed to zoom in on them, other than to trigger Toga?? some people just want to watch the world burn

so Toga is now GEARIN’ UP!!

that honestly is so fucking handy. over at U.A. they have to carry their gear in briefcases like scrubs. does Compress actually have the best quirk in the world?? it flies under the radar so well that I always forget about it, but like WHAT CAN’T IT DO though, y’know??

WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN MY DUDE

“oh hey is that the U.A. kids? Skeptic could you please zoom in on them for absolutely no reason? OH MY GOD TOGA IS RUNNING OFF TO FIGHT THEM, OH MY GOD WHO COULD HAVE FORESEEN, OH MY GOD”

now he’s all “DABI PLEASE DO SOMETHING” but Dabi is all “DABI DON’T CARE”

Dabi don’t care about NOTHING OR NO ONE!! Dabi don’t got time for this

lmao I literally forgot that Spinner was even there, shit

so are you gonna go with her then or not? because I got news for you dude, it doesn’t matter how heartwarming your speech is, nothing can stop this girl now that she’s gone full distracted boyfriend meme

AW BUT IT REALLY IS HEARTWARMING THOUGH

Spinner is the glue keeping this dysfunctional Addams family together honestly. too bad he couldn’t stop Compress from OPENING HIS BIG DUMB MOUTH ah well

lmao but he’s letting her go anyway though

Spinner for new LoV President. all in favor??

ANYWAYS LOL THIS IS BAD

“ACCELERATE EVACUATIONS” LOL WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO OCHAKO HE’S MOVING AT 100KM AN HOUR AND HE’S LIKE FUCKING GODZILLA SIZED FKJLK

“PLEASE RUN OUTSIDE OF THE VILLAIN’S PERIPHERY” well thank fucking god the people have you guys to guide them what would they even do without you lklkhlkds

NO HORIKOSHI DON’T YOU DARE

IF YOU HURT MY GIRL FROPPY I SWEAR TO GOD!! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU BRIGAND

OH THANK GOD

“sorry for SAVING YOUR LIFE” smh. anyway so how fucking badass is Ochako though?? can we just talk about this. THE GIRL POWER ARC STRIKES AGAIN hot damn

(ETA: and btw, seeing as Iida is nowhere to be found, I’d say odds are pretty good that they did in fact send him to go warn the Endeavorsquad of Gigantomachia’s imminent arrival. godspeed Iida! they need all the help they can get right now honestly.)

EXCUSE ME BUT ARE YOU TOGA

IS THIS TOGA. THIS IS DEFINITELY TOGA OMG

“I IMMEDIATELY TRUST YOU AND I WILL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH” noooo Ochako nooooo

damn Toga you really drained some poor old lady’s blood just so you could pull this kind of sneaky shit. I forgot how much I loved you

ohhhh lol so it’s her “husband” that is Takeo-san lol

THE BETTER TO LURE YOU INTO A TRAP MY DEAR

lmao Ochako you rube

now you’ve done it Toga. there is nothing Ochako loves more than a good old fashioned Old People Romance. DID YOU KNOW SHE HAS SEEN THE NOTEBOOK LIKE FIFTY TIMES. AND NO MATTER WHAT, IT ALWAYS GETS HER AT THE END. meanwhile I just want to watch a movie where James Marsden actually gets the girl for once but we all know that will never happen

OH MY

ngl this page would be like a thousand times better if Ochako was still blushing omg. did I ship this before?? I honestly can’t remember but I sure as fuck ship it now goddammit

(ETA: pretty sure I shipped it back during the Forest arc too but I don’t have time to check right now lol. but Toga is just so horny on main for everyone, all the time, and so like, it’s hard not to ship it.)

so now Toga is running off all flirtatiously and Ochako is barreling after her lol

plot twist, Takeo-san is actually in there. and he has NO IDEA what’s going on. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIFE. WHY IS THERE A GIANT MOLE MAN BURROWING THROUGH THE CITY

Ochako why on earth would you follow Toga into this dark creepy house where she could spring at you from any angle out of nowhere. just go back outside and float up over it until you have a high enough vantage point to see all the exits and just wait for her to come out

Toga says she wanted to talk to Tsuyu-chan as well, but let’s be real, you and her don’t have the same kind of electrically charged kismesis energy that you’ve got going on with Ochako though

LMAO DEKU NOWHERE IS SAFE

getting dragged like a fucking wedding train and he’s not even there to defend himself, shit

blah blah blah just ask her your question already Toga

MY WORD

would someone please inform Toga that this manga is only rated PG-13

so now Ochako is all “seriously Toga wtf”

you see that’s what I wanted to know too, lol. I really like that the characters actually think about these things and ask these kind of questions. that’s exactly the contrast between the heroes and the villains right there. the villains care about each other, they’ll give each other heartwarming speeches to please come back alive, and yet they’re utterly indifferent to the thousands of people being killed as they demolish their way through city after city. meanwhile by contrast Ochako’s first thought upon being erotically waylaid by her sexy knife-wielding archnemesis is “but what about that poor old lady is she all right.” just completely opposite energies, almost to a hilarious degree. like maybe Ochako actually should worry about herself just a little bit more lol but heroes gonna hero

and so now what, Toga!! you’re gonna pout about it?? like she’s betrayed you somehow?

anyway so that’s the end of the chapter! and I’ll just come right out and say that I’m hoping that this fight ends up being something where Toga maybe starts to see things just a little bit more from Ochako’s point of view, and not the other way around, because otherwise I’ll be a little frustrated, ngl. the manga has done an excellent job of making the villains likeable and relatable and getting us to sympathize with them up till this point, but at some point it’s got to start refuting some of these arguments and making it clear that the villains do not actually have any kind of moral high ground here

and also! I really like Toga and would like her to have some kind of redemption arc! but as of now that’s looking to be really difficult if not impossible to pull off, because Toga hasn’t exactly shown a whole lot of remorse for anything she’s done so far, you know? because she doesn’t see it as bad in any way; to her it’s just her way of expressing love, and being true to who she is. but being true to yourself really should NOT involve, you know, MURDER, and so yeah. it’s a problem lmao

but who knows! maybe this battle with Ochako will be the start of something which eventually leads to some sort of change within her! I have absolutely no idea how that could play out tbh, but even so I can hope! either that or she will double down on the whole “villains are victims and heroes are apathetic cruel hypocrites” ideology and decide she wants to kill Ochako and Izuku for breaking her heart, in which case I will be very sad, but I guess if that’s the way Horikoshi’s gonna play it it is what it is!

and lastly, so is this going to be like the final battle between them or something?? surely not, right? like this is just round 2 of 3. well at any rate, it’s sure going to be interesting

[hopelesslyinlovewithanime]

Bad boy Connie x reader

It was midnight and you were with Connie in your shared apartment. he decides to go out to the balcony for a smoke. While taking a few puffs of his cigarette he hears a click and he turns around and sees that you've locked the door he looks at you for a second and thought to himself "did this brat really lock the door".

Connie turns around and takes a few steps towards the  door before stopping dropping the cigarette  and stepping on it while he glares at you "what the hell are you doing?".

You look up at him with an innocent look and smirk "open it" he said . You smile at him and say"im not gonna! Until you stop smoking then I'll open it for you".

He only looked at you and laughed "your cute y/n" he proceeded to stick his middle finger at you flipping you off."fuck you.you got a push up bra on " you glare at him. With a smirk you unclip your bra and you both watch it drop to the floor Connie eyes me and sees that your bare  breast were out.

You press your bare breast against the glass and say "what are you gonna do huh~?" You said seductively. Connie eyes glue to your round soft breast and glanced away from you telling himself "really y/n its n-not gonna work this time" you giggle at his flushed face.

You turn around and pull. Down your booty shorts revealing your skimpy (f/c) underwear as you press your ass against the glass causing him to look over at you with a lit up expression.

"Lower!  Lower! Lower!"he said with puppy dog eyes along with a small pout as he pointed at your panties.

"Wow you have a pretty ass y/n" you giggle at his comment and began to continue teasing him but...

As you continue to tease him by pressing your ass against the glass  and wiggling your hips lightly "you want to fuck me huh? Well maybe if you be a good boy you  can" you giggle as Connie clenched his fist you turn to look at Connie and see that hes rock hard.

"ooooooh look at how big it got". Connie only gave me a sadistic smile as he points at you through the glass "I'm gonna kill you when I get in there". You mockingly laugh and you turned around to continue to mock him "I'm not gonna open it so you cant kill me".

But once you turned around he was gone and you began to panic "Connie? CONNIE!" you ran over to the balcony and began to tear up until you heard the Door knock at fist you didnt think much of it still woried about eren until you heard "OPEN THE DAM DOOR".

You ran towards the door to try to lock it only to be met with a hard large cock in front of your face. You squeak as you look up to see a panting and frustrated Connie.

"why is it so hard and it's way bigger than before" you questioned a small sense of fear in your voice. He only glared at you and said "wanna see how angry I can get".

he said in a low and stern voice as he took of his shirt and  grabbed your wrist and turned you around  as he took his shirt and began to tie you up with it.  "I'll kick you" he only smirked. 

"so your just gonna keep being a brat or are you gonna be a good girl and take this fat cock".

You were silent not even a whimper left you he smiled widely at you " I see your quiet not for long though" he slapped your ass up and shoved your head against the pillow as he slowly shoved his cock inside of you and started thrusting inside of you with a rough pace.

You begin to cry out "C-Connie  p-please gentler slow down I-it hurts when you aaaaaah~". Connie continued his brutal pace and and moaned out "what I cant hear you baby might have to say it a bit louder".

 "I-im gonna c-caaaaaaa~" Connie looked at you with shock at how fast you came "im gonna take it out okay" he said in a worried yet annoyed tone.

"N-no dont take it out it feels weiiiiiiiird" you let out moan and covered your face in embarresment. Connie then grabbed your wrist and began to spread your legs and putting them on his shoulders.

You look up at Connie with fear and annoyance in your eyes "hey what the hell i came already" Connie let out an animalistic growl.

WHAT ABOUT ME HUH I STILL NEED TO CUM WE ARENT FINISH YET" Connie  said with an annoyance in his voice he grabbed your legs and put them over his shoulder then shoved his entire length inside of you .

You cry out and say " F-FINE I WONT I-I WONT TEASE YOU LIKE THAT A-AGAIN" you tear up at how big he was inside of you. Connie  smirked and said "you sure" you nodded your head  as drool began to fall on the side of your mouth.

"Then call me Daddy" you blush even harder at his words "I-i" Connie thrusts harder inside of you "Say it now". You whine "D-DADDY!" You scream in pleasure as you cum for the second time.

Connie smiled down at you as he cums right after letting out a relieved sigh as he collapse next to you. Then it hits you. You lost to Connie again.

You let out a whimper"hehe I'm  tired" he only glances at you and gave you a annoyed glare "your tired I should be tired.

As connie was pulling out a cigarette from the lower draw you jump from behind him wrapping your arms  around  his torso "sorry I teased you daddy~"

He only sucked his teeth with a light blush on his cheeks "dont test me..." he says lighting his cigarette

You giggle but you realized you had one more trick up your sleeves.

You were getting ready for a girl's night out while connie sat on the couch with a cigarette watching tv.

"Yay my friend is back to town! I haven't seen her for so long" connie only looked at you and noticed something.

"You never put makeup when you're  with me" he pouted whilst taking a puff of his cigarette.

"Whatever its different! And why should I wear makeup with you anyway your my boyfriend" you say with a hint of annoyance  in your voice.

Connie sighed "whatever just go get ready so people won't get surprised by your fa-"

You glare at him and flick him on the forehead " shut up!" His eyes slowly followed you as you made your way to the closet to get some strap on heels.

You sit on Connie's lap and smirk at him " what do you think~" you say in a cheerful tone

Connie only blushed and nodded "it l-looks cute on you" he says as he puts a hand on your waist while holding his cigarette in the other.

You smile and look at your phone and see that your friend texted you" oop my friend texted me I gotta go bye ba-" connie grabbed your wrist Setting the cigarette aside.

You look back at him with a confused stare.

"Connie let go I gotta go" you say as he gets up and grabs his hoodie. " not without me, your not going out looking like that".

You huffed as you cross your arms waiting for him by the door.

SLAP

He smacked your ass while walking passed you " you coming or not."

You blush and grumble  as you two make your way downstairs. As you two make it downstairs you see your taxi.

"Bye baby I lov-" connie grabs you by your face cuffing your face. " if you need anything call me. And if any guy stares at you. You tell me alright I'll take care of him..."

You giggle " I'll be fine baby I love you" you wrap your arms around his waist  as he kisses your forehead.

You wave at him as you make your way to the taxi suprised he didn't leave yet.

Connie waved as he takes out another  cigarette and made his way back to your shared apartment.

[blobin456drawz]

When Y/N is sick

Characters: Shigaraki, Dabi, and Hawks

Warnings: Dabi’s gets a bit gross at times cause being sick do be like that sometimes. Also this is my first fic, so there are bound to be mistakes and stuff.

Gender neutral Y/N (so this is for everyone boisss) 

Genre: Fluff

Shigaraki-

 This man has no idea what he’s doing at first. He has absolutely no idea how to help.

 Shigaraki walks into your shared room to only see you wrapped up like a burrito and you just have the absolute sickest look on your face. He just looks at you really confused as to why you’re in such a state.

“What are you doing?” He asked with one raised eyebrow.

“I’m sick, what does it look like?” You ask while looking at him through squinted eyes and your voice is raspy.

He just looks at you with a blank expression and just blinks at you.

“Well how did that happen?”

“I don’t kNOW Shigaraki. How am I supposed to know where I got sick?” You were slightly irritable from being so tired.

He’s a bit taken aback, you never really get upset with him. You really only joke about it and are sarcastic all the time, but this time you look seriously done.

“Well jeez, calm down first of all. Second of all, what exactly do you want me to do about that?"

“... I don’t knoooow.” Your facial expressions changed and you looked more in pain and sad, then flopped over with your back facing him.

He groaned and started to walk out of the room.

“I’ll be back in a bit, don’t die while I’m gone.” He throws his hand behind him as a kind of wave and walks out.

He walks around the LOV base for a bit to ask anyone what to do. He runs into Toga who has proven to be kind of the nurse of the group (ironically).

“Y/N is sick?” Toga asks, “Well what do you need me for?”

“I..” He rubs the back of his neck and mumbles.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know what to do..”

“Aww Shigy, it’s okay! I’m not really surprised since you don’t generally take care of anyone.” She giggles.

“Yeaaah..” ^She’s so blunt..^ He thought to himself.

Toga tells him what he should do and gives him a list of what he should get to help you feel at least a bit better.

You hear the door behind you open and you pear over your shoulder and see your boyfriend walking over to you with a bag in his hand.

“What’s this?” You sit up looking at the bag.

“Just some stuff.” He sits down and grabs a water bottle, “Here, drink it, it’ll help.”

“But-”

“Drink it.” He sticks his arm out so the bottle is right in front of your face.

You sigh and grab the bottle and open it and drink. It hurt your throat a bit, but also made it feel better.

“Toga said staying hydrated is very important for some reason.” He rolls his eyes and you chuckle, “Anyway, I got you soup too, tell me when you want it, okay?”

You smile at him. You haven’t ever seen this sort of caring side from him before, it was sweet and really warmed your heart.

“Thanks Shiggy.” You kiss his cheek and he jumps slightly.

“Aye! What are you doing? Do you wanna wake me sick too?!” He says that but also doesn’t exactly stop you.

When you back up you see he has an upset expression but is blushing. When you laugh and mention that he’s blushing he tries to say otherwise but to no avail.

“Hmph, well I’m gonna play some video games, you can watch if you want.” He stands up and grabs a controller (he has his cloves) and sits down on the bed.

“Oooo, which one are you gonna play?”

“Hm.. I donno, you pick.”

“Really!? Okay!”

You spend the rest of the day watching Shig play games that you pick and by the end of it you feel a million times better.

Dabi- 

At first he’s kinda lost, but he starts knowing what to do pretty quick.

 Dabi woke up to the sound of you throwing up in the bathroom. He was confused, but then connected the dots in his head when he remembered you said you felt sick the night before.

“Mouse?” He looked in the bathroom and saw you next to the toilet, “Hey, what the heck, that toilet is getting more attention than me, that’s not fair.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway with a grin.

The grin on his face soon left when you looked at him. You were pale and were sweating, an overall mess.

“C’mon, let's get you cleaned up.” He started to walk towards you, but stopped when you weakly raised your arm.

“N-no, I’m fine, I can do it myself.” You start to lift yourself up with your arm, but don’t get very far and fall.

“As stubborn as always,” he shakes his head and chuckles, “but that stubbornness won’t work this time. No negotiation, I’m gonna help.” 

He kneels down and wraps your arm around his neck and lifts you up. You don’t try to fight it, you have no strength left to.

“Ugh, I’m so gross.” You look down at yourself and see vomit is all over you.

“Hence why we’re gonna clean you up love.” He sets you down on the edge of the tub and starts the water. 

Once you’re in the water, Dabi’s already trying to find things to make you feel better.

“Crap crap crap, what helps with this again?” He’s kinda frantic since he really hasn’t ever helped with something like this before, “Oh I know, ginger ale helps I think, oh and bread… I should probably do some research.”

After about 5 minutes of google searches, he goes down to the LOV base to possibly find the things he needs. Surprisingly he finds a good majority of what he needs.

^Probably because Shigaraki always feels sick.^ He chuckles a bit and heads back to the room.

“Y/N? I- oh.” He looks in the bathroom only to see you’re dangling over the side with more vomit underneath you.

“S-sorry.” You weakly look up at him.

“No need to apologize, not like you can control it. I’ll clean up in here, you get changed and get comfy, I got some stuff that’ll help.” 

“Okay..” You wipe off your mouth and Dabi helps you out of the bath and helps you get dressed.

Soon you’re sitting in bed with a glass of ginger ale, and a piece of bread. You were feeling better, but honestly you felt like you were going to throw up at any second. Dabi sat beside you and stuck a thermometer in your mouth. After a very long few minutes he finally grabbed it and took it out of your mouth.

“Yup, you’re running a pretty high fever, I’ll get a wet washcloth.”

“Okay..” You really couldn't talk a lot, your throat hurt and your lungs felt like they were on fire.

“I’ll also get you some medicine, but you gotta eat more first.” You groan, but you know he’s right. If you don’t, it’ll just make it worse.

“..Thank you Dabi.”

“No problem mouse.” 

Hawks-

Manz knew IMMEDIATELY, and you can’t tell me that he wouldn’t always know what to do when it comes to this.

 Hawks has always been very perceptive, especially when it comes to you. So the moment you so much as sniffle, he knows.

“Kei-” 

“Nope, you can’t make me stop babybird, I’m not done yet.” Hawks grabbed another pillow and put it behind you.

Nearly the whole morning he had been wrapping you up in blankets and pillows. The whole bed at this point was just one big soft mound with you in the middle.

“Done!” He set the last pillow done and it seemed like he was beaming.

“Finally. Y’know, it’s just a cold, you don’t have to-” He pressed his finger against your lips.

“Shhhhh, yes I do. Now, time for movies and snuggles!” He hopped out of the bed and walked over to grab the remote for the t.v. that was mounted on the wall.

“Snuggles? Keigo I’m sick! I don’t want you to get sick too!” You had a slightly concerned look on your face.

“I’ll be fine, I have a high immune system. Plus, snuggles always make everything better!”

“..Can’t argue with you there, but how exactly would we cuddle? I’m covered in blankets and pillows remember.”

“Don’t worry! I planned for this to happen.” 

Remote in hand, he crawled back onto the bed and somehow for the perfect spot between all the pillows that would lead to you. When he actually made it he popped his head out right where your shoulder was and looked at you with gleaming eyes.

“I guess there’s no stopping you huh.” You smirked.

“Nope!” Hawks wrapped his arms around you and smiled ear to ear.

“Hm, you’re lucky you’re cute.” You ran your fingers through his hair which he always seemed to enjoy.

“Mmm, anyway, movie time!”

The rest of the day consisted of watching movies, and hawks bringing snacks into the room with his feathers. He rarely let go of you, and when he did he was back in less than 2 minutes.

And surprise surprise you were right, he ended up getting sick too, and you gave him the exact same treatment as he did for you.

[fritae]

The Missing Piece (Ch 14)

Flirt.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x f. oc, lov

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

a/n: I'm sorry for not updating for a bit, I was busy with finals. But hopefully, I should be posting more often from here on out! I hope you're all doing well in the meantime :)

---

As I make my way to the Blaze today, my conversation with Al this morning is all I can think about.

"What time are you coming home tonight?" I asked her as we both got ready to leave the house. It was rare for us to leave at the same time, Al usually sets out hours earlier.

"Probably 11-ish? The Midnight Show's on break today."

"Really? That's weird. That's never happened before."

"Yeah, we're doing maintenance today so the equipment will need to rest overnight. All our stations are clocking out early."

"How about you?" She asked me as I locked the door behind us.

We pause before our apartment for a moment, as I shrug. "Mr. Dabi needs me today. I'll probably come home late again."

Al nods. "I'll see you tonight!" She calls out before walking in the opposite direction.

"Yeah," I wave back. "But don't wait up for me!"

---

I knock on the door once and turn the knob to Dabi's office.

But my grin falls when I find the room empty.

I sigh.

"Looking for someone?"

I turn around immediately.

"Dabi," my face brightens. He's wearing a simple black suit today. My eyes unconsciously glance at his abdomen, looking for any sign of blood. I hug the morning report closer to my chest when I find none.

"Was waiting for you to come in," He registers the look on my face with a smirk. "That smile for me?"

I roll my eyes and hand him the report as he walks to his desk.

He flips through the documents, eyes skimming the pages. His fingers move up and down the paper casually, rather than with purpose as he usually does.

I take that as a sign he's not too concerned with what's in them.

Let's see.

"Is your wound better now, sir?"

Dabi nods.  "Anything urgent on the agenda?"

I shake my head. "At 4pm, you just have-"

"Around midnight, I mean."

I blink.

"Midnight sir?"

He nods, looking up at me. "I've got a deal with a big client today. I'm taking you with me."

Tonight?! My heartrate rises.

"But sir..."

Dabi raises a brow. "What's wrong? Thought you'd be happy."

"Nothing I just..." I try to think of a lie. "Me and Al were planning on having a girl's night."

Dabi closes the folder. "Got it. I'll try and schedule you in advance next time then." He doesn't seem upset at all but I don't let it go.

"No! I mean, it's okay, you come first. I'm sure she'll understand."

"I'm going anyway, Rina. There'll be other opportunities for you to come along. I don't need you there, I just thought you'd wanna be better acquainted with business."

"I am," I insist. "I'll come with you. Al can wait."

Dabi tilts his head. "You say you two are friends but who'd rather hang out with their boss than your friend?"

"We've grown distant a bit since I've left NNTV," I tell him honestly.

Of course, there's more. But there was no way Dabi would stay silent if he found out. The problem is... would I have another chance to do what I was planning on doing tonight?

I bite my lip.

It's okay, I can still make it afterward.

If it takes too long, I'll tell Dabi I need to leave early.

But Dabi is already suspicious.

"Wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to patch things up then?"

Why's he suddenly asking so many questions.

"Dabi-"

"Are you friends or not?"

"We are. I think. I just haven't been feeling it lately. I don't know, maybe it's because we haven't really spoken with each other in so long."

He stands up and steps closer to me, forcing me to take a step back. "I think there's more to it than that." He eyes me with amusement. "Why do those pretty eyes look scared?"

I blush and my back hits the wall.

Can he not change up on me so fast?

"I think you're keeping things from me, princess."

There's a playful smirk on his lips as he places his hand against the wall, leaning in closer. "What are we gonna do about that?"

"Look who's talking," I cross my arms.

"And here I thought I was making your day."

I feel his breath against my skin and it makes me grow bold.

"You tryna make me happy or something?" I tease gently. 

"If you'll make it worth my while." 

"How so? Big boy couldn't even handle a hug."

A deep chuckle comes out of Dabi's mouth.

"Let's see how much you can handle then, princess."

A fire dances in my stomach at his words. Where is this Dabi coming from? The casual flirting. The mischief in his eyes.

But before I can discover what he means, he pulls away from me, a fake serious expression on his face and adds: "Ah. When you don't have a girls night planned, that is."

There's a playful banter in his voice that I love.

It reminds me of the Dabi I first met.

Suddenly, I hear Atsuhiro behind the door.

"Dabi, we on for tonight?" He calls out.

Dabi's eyes flit from the door to me.

"Would ya look at that? Guess I'm having a boys night."

"No," I immediately frown. "You promised."

Dabi laughs. "Get out of here with that bullshit, I don't make promises."

"Dabi, we out? Or are you taking Jin today?" Atsuhiro knocks again.

"Now you do," I tell him seriously. "You've taken them before, it's my turn."

"Is it though?" He scratches his head. "I thought it was girls night."

Atsuhiro knocks harder. "Dabi, you there?"

"I won't speak to you again." I narrow my eyes. "That's a promise. You can't bring this up and then say no."

"Wait, wait let's get something straight, princess. I brought it up and you said no."

"Dabi!" I groan.

"Rina," He whines, mocking me.

Its strange seeing Dabi like this but it excites me.

More so that he won't let Atsuhiro in.

"You won't regret it," I whisper. "Promise."

He considers my words.

"You sure you want to come?"

"Yes!"

"What are you gonna tell your friend?"

"I'm working late."

"Bad girl." He shakes his head in mock disappointment. "I didn't take you for a liar."

"Guess you should know me better," I tilt my head, my lips curling at the hint in my tone.

"Careful now," His voice gets deeper when my fingers find his tie. "You know what happens when you get too close to fire?"

I remember the Dabi in the car, who pulled back as soon as I touched him, and this Dabi - who teases and pulls me close then pushes me away. I wonder what's different. What makes one come out or the other.

"Maybe I want to see what it'll do."

I don't miss the way Dabi's eyes darken.

But before he could respond, Atsuhiro bangs on the door.

"Hey boss, you-"

Dabi's grin falls.

"I'm not fucking taking you tonight!" Dabi growls at the door. "If I don't answer, I'm doing something, how about you calm the fuck down?" 

There's a pause at the door and then a low "Okay" that makes my heart clench.

Dabi turns back to me. "Now-"

"Wait now I feel bad," I look at the door. "It looks like he really wanted to go, why'd you have to say it like that?" I pout.

Dabi rolls his eyes and decides to pull sway completely. The mischief in his eyes is gone. Instead, there's a bored and slightly irritated expression. He goes and sits on the sofa, spreading himself out.

"Princess, I don't have time for this, are you coming or sh-"

"Yes, yes I'm coming."

"Then don't fucking worry about him."

[adventuresloane]

“Don’t move.” With Carey and Magnus? Platonically of course.

"Hey!"

Carey froze with one foot touching the hardwood floor and another halfway out of the infirmary bed. She felt the familiar sensation of her body going stiff and still as a spring-trap, which is to say the feeling of being caught.

Magnus had his arms crossed and wore the sternest look he could manage, which was not very. "What the fuck did I tell you? Don't move!"

"What are you, a cop?" she shot back, even as she slipped back beneath the covers. "I can walk around with a broken tail, Mags. I'm not paralyzed."

"Hey, I've seen you use your tail to get around all the time! Pretty sure that's why the Director stopped using those hanging ceiling lights--she got sick of you swinging from them to get around the base."

"I can't believe you'd take her side on that, when you know damn well that it's the best way to get around and I look dope doing it."

He snorted out a laugh. "You look like Fantasy Tarzan."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

"Do not--ow, fuck!" She spun as she felt the whack of her tail hitting the bedpost and snarled. She hadn't been conscious of the way she'd begun to whip it around in agitation.

Unsurprisingly, the shit-eating grin still graced Magnus's mug when she turned back around to face him. "I told you."

She flopped onto the bed with a huff and grabbed a pillow to smush into her face. "This suuuucks. I'm so bored here and it hurts like a bitch. And it's not just because I keep moving it! It hurt like this before."

He gave her the cocked-headed look of a curious dog. "Hold up. Carey," he started, "have you never broken a bone before?"

"Not since I was a little kid. And even then it was just once." She shrugged. "You know how I feel about taking the big hits, bud. Besides, since I got so good at doing rad stunts, I haven't even had a bad ankle sprain in years. And that shit's nothing like this."

He let out his too-loud laugh, the kind that filled up every corner of the room like heat from a fireplace. "Well, you're looking at the guy who broke his femur in the same place four times, so you're in luck!"

"Maggie, sometimes I worry about you."

"Here, want me to change your bandages? You got a pretty nasty wound on top of that break, right?"

"Can you do that? Like, Merle will let you?"

"Ah, he'll be fine with it." He began to pull out fresh gauze and wet it with some sort of topical potion. For how thick his fingers were, the way he unrolled the bandages was quick and almost delicate. He had the steady and nimble hand of a woodcarver, sure, but there was something practiced about it too. "I've patched myself up enough times to know what to do. Anyway, Merle's taught me some himself, just like he learned how to throw a good punch from me once. We all picked up on each other's skills some, back on the ship."

Carey ran her tongue over the scales that covered her lips. By now, she knew enough not to ask about which ship he meant. She knew only two things in that regard: first, that he didn't seem to know the first thing about sailing despite how often he referenced his time spent on a ship, and second, that any further prompting about the ship would be equivalent to a sucker-punch. It left him stunned and reeling and bloodless in the face every time, blinking like there was a film in front of his eyes that he couldn't quite clear. Left him stammering like a broken motor, a dozen false starts at speaking. Sometimes she worried about him. Maybe he had taken too many blows to the head over time. Maybe he had taken some blows to the mind, too, though she wasn't about to go near that shit. It was his to tell, not hers to ask for.

In this case, anyway, he didn't seem to notice that he'd even brought it up. Before he could think about it, she asked, "Magnus, how many bones have you broken?"

"Pfft! Come on, I lost count back when I was a teenager."

"Okay, well, what's the most batshit way you've ever broken a bone?"

"Hmm..." He ran his thumb and forefinger over the patch of red-brown beard on his chin. Then, his look changed from thoughtful to smug as the corners of his mouth lifted and he glanced back her way. "You really wanna know?"

"Don't fuck with me! Of course I do!"

He turned to face her, while she concentrated on not lashing her tail in anticipation. "So where I grew up, there's all these hills surrounding the valley, right? And of course, when we got our heaps of snow up there every year, all the kids would go sledding every day. Well, let's just say when I was all of maybe sixteen, I had a lot of friends who were just as full of piss and vinegar as me. We decide we're bored of just sledding on powder. So of course, we're gonna go out and build a ramp that's just pure, frictionless ice, all the way down the hillside, and that's what we're gonna sled on."

"Fantasy Jesus Christ, Mags, of course you would."

"Right? So one of my friends, she's got this wicked fire magic, and she starts melting the snow on the hill so the water will refreeze as ice--"

"Hold up, you had a super fire magician as a friend when you were that young?"

She knew she'd fucked up the second after she said it. It took only a moment more before he shed his smile and seemed to draw back as if from a slap. He blinks, a lot.

"Mango?"

"I, it's...I..." He knitted his brow, and the lines in his forehead simply kept multiplying. "I thought it was--"

"Hey, buddy? Magnus?"

His head snapped up, but he did not turn her way. It was a hopeful sign nevertheless. He had not turned so far into himself that she could not reach in and feel for him.

"Hey, look at me for a sec." She waited until he did. "You don't have to tell me, okay? You don't have to explain anything."

"But..."

"Nah, listen. Past is past. I'm not entitled to it just because I'm your friend. I am no matter what."

"Yeah. Yeah okay."

"You okay, then? Moving on?"

"Moving on."

"Now let me tell you about all the shit I'm going to do after I'm out of this infirmary."

((Thank u I'm lov them. Also apologies if the format is weird. I'm on mobile.))

[blookmallow]

i did it... i got KK to visit

[tom, half listening to my conversation with isabelle as he sorts paperwork] wait WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY 

look at his lil face...... hes so nervous......

i like that he just Had kk’s phone number somehow though 

he’s...... in love,

WE DID IT KIDS

i love how the concert sequence is like. pretty much exactly GC animal crossing’s sequence

i dont remember how it looked in the other games but i immediately got gc vibes��

also look at tom 

[shoving to the front of the crowd] MY KIDS NEED TO SEE K K SLIDER 

i finally got the chance to do something to make him happy im not crying

he was literally waiting outside my house for me to wake up so we could talk about the concert i lov this raccoon

i also requested KK Lament the first time kk came back for a regular saturday concert but there wasnt any like. special dialogue or anything/tom nook doesnt come out for the concerts but i like to think he could hear it from inside anyway :’ ) i played it in the plaza for him for a while. @ nintendo let me give special characters presents like i can for the villagers 

APPARENTLY there’s a limit on how many people you can have in one photo i tried to do an updated island group photo but couldn’t include any of the special characters (or lex. you CAN summon your human island-mates though) 

heres the full island population now though

i havent had anyone move out yet... had a few villagers thinking about it but changing their minds when i asked them 2 stay,, 

i dont know if they can move out without telling you like they could before, on the one hand it’d be nice to not.... lose people but on the other if it’s completely up to me who stays and who leaves i dont think im gonna be able to bring myself to let anyone go :’  ) 

if sherb ever leaves me i WILL cry 

[oddful]

Okay I dont even know but something’s definitely off with me? Im so used to being able to fix people and im really glad people can turn to me when they have a problem but lately everything’s off…??? So many people are ignoring me I sorta feel like lost and empty and its like what was the last straw? So timely for everyone to pull this shit on me at the same time huh.. on top of that, no one in this household cares about me I just feel so alone??? I try so hard to show everyone I come from such a perfect family and that I actually have my shit together like I just refuse to let anyone catch me slipping….I dont like talking about my feelings because I dont need anyone telling me to be grateful that I have a roof above my head or that others have it worse because if its always gonna be like that then my feelings will forever be invalid no? Ironically the people who tell shit like this are the ones who always call me up to cry about their problems .. I tried pulling the same shit on them and they’ve got mad audacity to tell me I was insensitive.. hmm how does that work? I dont like talking about my feelings because I just have this mad tendency of jinxing things ya know? Kinda like manifestation? I constantly have to put a smile on my face and mask my emotions:(((((( I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tired ya know? My parents really dont care about me it kinda sorta hurts like my mom found out my brother and I cried and she only asked about my brother and didn’t even bother asking about me .. :( kinda wanna buy a one way ticket a ciao honestly Bella ciao my way outta here let me die … anyways the sky looked really nice yesterday like the way the clouds looked floating in the sky ahh to be a cloud in the sky … I can only wish … weather’s looking pretty gloomy today as I sit in my balcony writing this pathetic post luxuriating in my own feelings fuck shit bitch fuck yea ! Anyways everything’s sorta really falling apart I can’t even sit down and organise my feelings and thoughts its like everywhere and I dont even know where to begin .. :( do people get bored of me that quick?????? Its quite sick that im always constantly overthinking like maybe what I fail to realise is that not everything is about me.. ;//// but can’t help but feel that way .. just thinking about how everyone continuously steps over my head and like I really thought about how I was finally learning to talk about my feelings and I sent my friend a three minute audio of how I was feeling and she replied me back with, “ do I actually have to listen to that? “ JUST LIKE WHAT THE FUCK sadderdaze I tell ya .. its raining now how nice.. probably knew I was sad huh thanks god .. dude im just so fucking ugly it just really hurts like proper hurts me like a motherfucker like im so insecure nowadays I used to be like aye cool she’s hot but lately with how everyone’s treating me I sorta feel so different and off I can’t help but just !!!!!!!!!!1 got sucha fraud I am .. maybe sometimes away from instagram would be better.. im a reddit bitch anyways I just go on reddit all the time but like !!!! Ahhhhhh ok anyways the past few weeks I;ve really been into animal crossing memes I love animal crossing…HAHAHA cuteness avenue I said ! Also where am I going in life im so sad why do people get bored of me so quick im so fucking hard on myself like im so so so so fucking hard on myself such perfectionist and I didn’t realise it until someone pointed it out but I just ????? Also I constantly need reassurance I just hate myself!!!!!!!!! Fuck life I Lov gg on tumblr bc no one on ig or twitter and none on my irl friends follow me on here except for Claudine hi Claudine and I jsutdont need people knowing im sad and shit but I just !!! Sometimes I  dont know how to deal w my problems and emotions I just sorta Mia and comeback when I can ~~ LOLsssssss hate myself.. neighbourhood!!!1 bitch im a cow I hate myself I really do I fucking hate what im feeling just failedthe vibe check its only January :( tired..... sunflower out x

[fmdromeo]

 hi  cuties  !  i've  finally  caught  a  break  from  this  new  semester  ,  &  adjusting  to  it  has  definitely  been  easier  than  i  thought  ,  but  i  probably  will  be  slower  in  terms  of  plotting  &  threading  still  until  the  holidays  roll  around  !  i  hope  everyone  has  been  doing  well  :>  this  lil  post  is  in  regards  to  our  event  ,  and  under  the  cut  you'll  find  what  both  romeo  bae  [  origin's  maknae  ]  &  sohn  aerin  [  femme  fatale's  main  vocalist  ]  will  be  up  to  in  regards  to  the  actual  concert  &  the  afterparty  !  give  this  a  lil  like  if  you'd  like  me  to  msg  you  about  plotting  ,  but  please  feel  free  to  im  me  if  anything  in  particular  stands  out  to  you  !  thank  u  sm  for  reading  .

note : all usual threads will be put ON HOLD until the event is over , just to make things easier for me ! uwu 

crossed out plots means they are officially taken , italicized plots are pending !

romeo bae :

my goblin baby boy is going to have three stages in total , each having one song to perform besides origin closing off the concert , so he’s going to be performing seven songs in total ! of course , he’s going to be tired as fuck , but origin’s schedules have somewhat prepared him for this , and it feels like any other normal instance where origin has to perform . so romeo isn’t too ... shocked or anything lol he kind of figured this is would happen ! anyways , he’s still pretty juiced for his stages and hopes to make the most fun of it , at least . that is until the after party ! romeo is probably gonna go all out [ when is he .. not ] for the party because he needs to kick the fuck back and chill out for a second . he’s definitely going to pregame right after the concert ends ! if u need weed , romeo is ur guy ! he’s gonna be in and out of the party randomly getting high ..... somewhere , somehow , so tag along if thats ur thing . overall , he’s gonna work his butt off and then chill and have fun ! onto the specific plots for him .

romeo is the most aussie mf out there , so he is definitely going to be in the pool sporting some designer trunks ! he’s a water baby so if you wanna just chill and swim , play a pool game or have him teach ur muse to swim , he’s ur dude

romeo is naturally super competitive so he’s going 2 have the time of his life playing pool or beer pong , his personal faves !! come join his team or play against him pls !

if he’s not swimming and outselling ariel in the pool , he’s gonna be drinking . like a madman , so if ur muse wants a drinking buddy or have him expose them to drinking , he’s def gonna have a cup in hand at all times lmfao

and now if he’s not drinking , then i know the kid is getting high 4 sure , somehow nd somewhere . romeo prefers to smoke too but he probably has a handful of edibles shoved into his pocket or sum .. hit him up if you wanna have a sesh somewhere or get ur muse stoned for the first time w him , he loves that shit 

this boy is the reason blueface wrote thotianna but wbk ? hit romeo up if u wanna hookup or just makeout for a long time .. sum like that cause the thot is gonna show up and show out , so if ur muse needs to ~relax~ or wants 2 be corrupted by satan himself , romeo is here 2 provide that 

it’s obvious origin is always overworked , and it shows on romeos face alot too . he’s probably gonna be high or drunk , most likely both , but maybe he rambles to ur muse about how tired he is of all this ?? and probably open up about how sad he feels most of the time but uh yeah ! 

romeo loves 2 get fucked up wbk but ur muse cant even handle anything like that too much , so now he has to fuckin BABYSIT them ? he’s annoyed nd pissed off , but he wont risk dispatch getting a hold of a juicy lil story so he’ll put up w it for now , but u owe him !!!

sohn aerin :

aeri , like romeo , has a handful of stages too ! she’s going to have four in total , and will be performing seven songs in total ! she’s honestly really happy about having a lot of stages ? it definitely beats having to perform the same one (1) song all the time , plus she gets to wear cute little outfits and have people look at her so .. thats that on that . despite it being obvious hard work , she’s honestly really happy for the first time in months for the concert to showcase more of femme fatale , and she loves performing with her members too ! big bonus is all the lovely collab stages uwu she’s also really giddy for the after party so she can dress up like the true lil thotty she is ? she’s going to have lots of fun , make horrible decisions and be super out of it ! aeri doesnt have the best alcohol tolerance but like .. thats not gonna stop her from getting shitfaced lmfao . she’s a rly cute drunk if i do say so myself .. but yeah ! she’s also gonna be getting high nd things of that nature too . overall she’s going to really enjoy the concert and the afterparty too ! onto the plots !!

aeri used to be an excellent swimmer and now she kind of .. cant ? she bought a cute bikini tho , and the world needs to see it . she sees ur muse can swim pretty well and asks them to teach her the basics again ??  she j wants to take thotty pool pics :/

she will also be highkey drunk out of her mind chilling in the jacuzzi , maybe ur muse sees her and goes to check up on her if shes ok ?? she will be like this , as a ref picture

the main vocalist is gna jump out with karaoke !! pls join her sing early 2000s bops or sum .. or tell her to stop singing HHH

besides singing , shes also gonna be dancing ??? pls come join her she just wants to dance w everyone !!!!!! if ur muse wanted a lap dance , she can also provide that winkity wonkity

she’s going to be doing shots like her life depends on it , if ur muse likes to drink or hasnt , shes ur girl !! shes also gonna b doin body shots as well :~)

i lov havin my muses do stuff together so shes probably gonna get a joint or something from romeo SJJNJDG come join w her on the roof of the mansion or like wherever ... thank u

shes also gonna be showin up in full Thot mindset so she will be hookin up and makin out w whoever is down to !!! hit her up ?????

wbk femme fatale promotions and comebacks esp this year are a little ... weird and its been bugging aeri since its happened , maybe she confides in ur muse randomly [ or not ] about her feelings about that ? in regards to women in general in the industry and how shes pretty terrified of the day her and the group will be shoved aside hhhh

like i said , although aeri can drink well , shes not a good drunk and gets drunk fast so ur muse has to now babysit her !!!! lmao have fun and good luck !!!!!

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 11)

All right, now that it’s been 4 months and I’ve read all the other things, I realized that it’s, like, 5 days until this book has been out for a year and I should probably get the fuck on with it, so. Here we are.

Part 11 encompasses pages 828-934 (previous parts)

me in July: I’m almost done! I can finish this!

me, now: sweet christ I have a smaller novel’s-worth still to get through lord let me live

Aw, damn, I left off on Interludes, but I DON’T CARE ABOUT VENLI, WHERE MY BOYS AT

oh SNAP I WANT THAT, the ability to speak and understand all languages???? GRABBY HANDS

ah yes the “the alethi enslaved us so we should rise up and kill them by enslaving ourselves to this other, more horrible godlike being” narrative. my favorite.

sigh

why we gotta EXTERMINATE people?

I’m tired. of extermination plotlines.

Maybe. Venli and her lil light spren will stop? the extermination!? I’m here for that!

“There was an art to doing laundry” HONESTLY THO, HAVE YOU MET COLLEGE-AGE BOYS WHO NEVER LEARNED HOW MUCH SOAP TO USE? AMEN.

oh.

I forgot about Mraize. 

like, literally, 100% forgot about his existence. sorry alyx.

eyy, we found Shalash!

HE WAS LOOKING FOR HER?? IT WAS A TRAP??

admiralakbar.gif

...Mraize has a babsk? I didn’t think he was Thaylen????

“A resistance is not what we caught you mounting.” UGH. PICK THE HAMMER, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

Why do I feel like this is a “HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR. BRING FORTH THE BEAR” joke?

yeessssssss, VENLI!!! TAKIN RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!! I CARE NOW. I WANT HER TO BE BETTER, I WANT HER TO WORK THROUGH. GIIIRRLL!!!!

HOW LONG WILL YOU VACILLATE?

YESSSSS

gr oss? Tha nk s? for the melting flesh images??

yelch

PART FOOUUUUUURRR

that’s. so many POVs. What is this, a GRRM book?

also none of the POVs are Bridge Four and. WHEN WILL MY BOYS COME BACK FROM THE WAR.

wait, I could have sworn the Alethi had been fighting the Parshendi for ten years?? but Dalinar is talking to Gavilar EIGHT years ago?

Did I miss smthn?

Did I conflate the Shattered Plains with the Trojan War? I’m confused.

Lisa has done Math for me and found out that it was only 6 years????????? Why did I think it was ten??? I COULD HAVE SWORN IT WAS TEN????

“his job was to loom” heheheh

so... Dalinar is the nuclear deterrent and the nuclear threat all in one?

Dalinar, leaning into the mic: “The truth is... I am Iron Man.”

#Evideservedbetter2kForever

OH NO A BABY

TINY FIFTEEN YEAR OLD ADOLIN IS MAKING MY HEART SING

“I had this specially tailored” I LOVE HIM

OHHHHH

HE’S TRYING SO HARD TO IMPRESS HIS DAD I’M CRYING

“When censured, Adolin only tried harder.” I! LOVE! THIS! TINY! SUNLIGHT! BOY!

I wanna write fic where Adolin Kholin meets Luke Skywalker and the world literally EXPLODES IN SUNLIGHT AND SOFTNESS.

“Who could deny him?” CERTAINLY NOT ME, I WOULD DIE FOR ADOLIN KHOLIN TOO GOOD TOO SOFT FOR THIS WORLD

me, squinting: “which Herald is Ahu?”

my running method is to just suspect everyone of being a Herald. At some point, I’ll have to be right.

WHICH! HERALD! IS! AHU!

HE’S TALKING ABOUT THE UNMADE LIKE HE KNOWS THEM PERSONALLY, TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY LET THEM IN. WHICH!!! HERALD!!! IS!!! AHU!!!!

LISTEN, I JUST WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE HERALDS. GIMME A BOOK ABOUT THE HERALDS, BRANDON!

GIMME THAT JUICY GOOD BACKSTORY, BRANDON!!!

me: why is there a map with the sea but Kholinar is on it???

two seconds later: OOOHHH DUH IT’S SHADESMAR

wack y fun!

ARE DREHY AND SKAR OKAY???? THEY DIDN’T COME WITH???

ARE THEY OKAY?

OH NO OH NOO I’M GONNA WORRY AOBUT THEM FOREVER

Adolin, say hi to your swwooooorrdddd

....the Oathgate has souls?

what?

Fearspren: gross.

I knew they were all bigger on the inside, as it were, but. #yikes?

“Kaladin’s not well.” “I have to be well.”

BRB SOBBING ABOUT KALADIN

I’M!

HE’S SO STRONG

I’M! HELP!

GIANT CLAW? UNMADE!!?? LET’S KILL IT. IDK IF WE CAN BUT CAN WE TRY??

“sword lady” HEH

ok well, at least we know Drehey is alive, since Shallain bumped into his soul, which is both TERRIFYING and REALLY COOL

YOU’RE NOT NOTHING, ADOLIN, YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND I LOVE YOU.

*long keening noises*

I FELL ON THE FLOOR

“Hey,” Adolin said. “It will be all right.” “I survived Bridge Four,” Kaladin growled. “I’m strong enough to survive this.” “I’m pretty sure you could survive anything. Storms, bridgeboy, the Almighty used some of the same stuff he put into Shardblades when he made you.” Kaladin shrugged. But as they walked onto the next platform, his expression grew distant again. He stood while the rest of them moved on. Almost like he was waiting for their bridge to dissolve and dump him into the sea. “I couldn’t make them see,” Kaladin whispered. “I couldn’t...couldn’t protect them. I’m supposed to protect people, aren’t I?”

GUESS WHICH PART BROKE MEGAN

GUESS WHICH PART DUMPED MY HEART ON THE FLOOR

ANYWAY, I’M CRYING

THISISFINE.PNG

“I’m frightened. I talk when I’m frightened.” I LOVE HIM.

ADOLIN’S HELOIGN HIM HE’S MAKIN HIM TALK TO DISTSRAT HIM AND MAKE HIM JEEP WALKING AND I”M

I LOV A SUNSHINE BOY

SO MUCH

...is Vivenna okay?

oh shiiit, Adolin is? king????

sort of? almost??

oh man, he’s gonna be SO GOOD AT IT!!!! LOOK AT HIM TAKING CHARGE AND TAKING CARE OF EVERYONE. HE’S SUCH A GOOD LEADER, HE’S GOING TO BE SOOOOOO GOOOOOOODDD AT THIS!!!!

that chapter was a Lot

OH NO A SZETH CHAPTER

I’ve only been asking for this for tHE WHOLE BOOK

but now I’m gonna be MORE SAD

.......idk how I feel about the soul-after-image thing. it’s interesting, but I’m still a lil weirded out by Szeth...you know...being alive?

huh. Vasher knows about the magic fish? So....does this validate Lisa’s theory about the fish and the birds from that other cosmere thing I can’t remember bc I haven’t read it?

holy shit, that’s a LOT of skybreakers.....

...who have been around the WHOLE TIME???? WTF

So...Szeth can hear the Spiritual Realm.....and is going to bond a spren, of the Cognitive Realm...and is in the Physical Realm... so does that make him the Avatar, Master of All Three Realms?

(while he may have a lot to learn, I believe that Szeth can save the world)

hm. they’re so...regimented. militaristic. ritualized. They’ve got tests and rules for getting in and it’s all very well-put-together. and it’s WEIRD compared to everyone else stumbling into their Ideals. Is this what is was like before the Recreance? or is this just the Skybreakers being Skybreakers?

why are there kaladin flashbacks in the dalinar book, why, brandon, why must you hurt me in this way

Brandon: *mentions Tien* Me, softly: “no”

HE REALIZED HE COULD KILL AND THAT’S WHAT TERRIFIED HIM

THISISFINE.PNG

I’M EMOTIONAL AND KALADIN IS SAD AND I’M UPSET

Also, Syl just. grabbing his arm and snuggling him is VERY GOOD, SHE IS VERY GOOD, AND SHE SHOULD BE WORSHIPED FOR BEING SO VERY WONDERFUL

“It cannot be holy. If it truly were, it would have burned me away long ago.” I’M SAD NOW, THANKS.

I have weird emotions about people losing their faiths, and Szeth’s character arc has been particularly. compelling to me.

“Here’s what you have to do: fight him and win!” has the same energy as that obnoxious Assassin’s Creed “tip” that’s like “the trick to staying alive to is get your enemy’s health bar to zero while keeping your above zero” and I’M SO PLEASED.

ooohh shit

he drew Nightblood

which I feel is NOT RECOMMENDED

# Y I K E S

Skybreakers take the “lawful” part of DnD alignments to a very unhealthy extreme

tbh they’re a lil fucked up, ngl

Skybreakers make me uncomfortable, is what I’m saying.

“he had never mastered the ‘sleep anywhere’ skill the grunts bragged about” NEERRRRDD

WHEN WILL ADOLIN REALIZE HE’S A REALLY GOOD LEADER??? SOMEONE TELL HIM, I WOULD BUT I’M TOO FAR AWAY.

oh that makes sense

I was confused for a hot second about how Vivenna knew Adolin’s kata, but she probably learned it from Vasher who...also...taught Adolin. Duh.

“I’m just a woman who has been constantly out of her league since adolescence.” Viveennnnaaaaaa, darling. You’ll be all right.

also that makes total sense--the Horneater Peaks? If they’ve got a portal, it makes sense they’re so much more in tune to the spren. Easier border crossings.

PEOPLE live in this realm? What the??

I don’t know Nazh, but the fact that he has an embarrassing tattoo due to Horneater lager bad decisions DELIGHTS ME

hm. idk why I’d sort of assumed that Dalinar went to visit the Nightwatcher before Gavilar died, but. maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it was a consequence of Gavliar’s death. 

“the other one” GET FUCKED WITH A CACTUS, PAST!DALINAR 

OOHH

SOFT BOY

Renarin is such a Good

also, Dalinar HUGGING is SO GOOD KEEP DOING THAT THAT WILL HELP

“Humans, you must stop your emotions. They are very inconvenient here.” I think, Pattern dear, that Shallan rather thinks emotions are inconvenient everywhere.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

HERE WE ARE AGAIN

ANGER IS ALWAYS THE FIRST STAGE OF DEPRESSION

HELLO, KALADINMEGAN BRAIN, IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE YOU WERE SO NEATLY SPELLED OUT BUT HERE WE ARE AGAIN

“You’re not angry at anyone, you’re just looking for something to latch onto. Something to feel.” To stave off the darkness of unfeeling and anger is easy. It’s irrational and warm and so easy. So it’s always the first one to go.

“It would continue until numbness seemed preferable.” GOD YUP. THERE IT IS.

It’s still really validating and really, really unsettling to see your brain problems spelled out so succinctly.

oh lord

“Men he loved, killing each other.”

I’M UPSET

(and the very tiny garbage part of my brain goes, ‘see he LOVES Moash’)

ADOLIN TAKING THE REARGUARD BECASUE SOMETIMES KALADIN NEEDS LOOKING AFTER I’M EMOTIONAL

Syl had a different Kaladin before Kaladin?? Wild.

and GOD but the symbology of the LIGHTHOUSE in Kaladin’s chapter. I’m. <3

EEEYYYY NAVANI!!!

she made them carry their own chairs, GOD THE MEANING BEHIND THAT, I LOVE HER

“Elhokar and Adolin are safe somewhere.” ABOUT THAT....

LOPEN, PLS

Bridge Four’s unwavering belief in Kaladin is SURE A THING. I love them SO MUCH.

also, god, MY BOYS, here they are, eating all the food and being ridiculous losers at a formal event I HAVE MISSED THEM SO

god, fuc you Ialai. ofc she didn’t carry her own chair, fukin JERK

good to know the assholery of the Sadeas name is being upheld, even after his death

god, every time Taravangian is mentioned, my gut just clenches, he makes me SO NERVOUS

GOD YES OH MY GOD, LIFT VS ROCK EATING CONTEST PLS GIMME MORE

I have forgotten that I love Sebarial. Petition for him to show up more often.

OH GOOD HE’S HAVING A BAD DAY. EXCELLENT. HE’S MUCH BETTER WHEN HE’S STUPID

...unless he’s super smart today and just pretending to be stupid.

fuck

IT’S SO HARD TO TELL WITH HIM ARGH

ANYONE ELSE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE DISCUSSION OF INVADING SHINOVAR WHEN SHINOVAR IS THE ONLY PLACE THAT DOESN’T HAVE A REPRESENTATIVE AT THIS COUNCIL???? JUST ME? OKAY.

also they keep talking about Shinovar as a redoubt and a haven, but....didn’t the Everstorm--going the wrong way--destroy Shinovar? Has anyone checked??

Navani is so clever and it’s brilliant.

“Taravangian was talking about having you tour Vedenar personally”....alone....so he can MURDER YOU. BAD IDEA. ABORT MISSION.

KALADIN HAD AN OLD LADY SLAVE FRIEND WHO DIED AND I’M SAD AGAIN DAMNIT

“He’s got battle fatigue. We have to watch him when he’s sitting around doing nothing, not when he’s got a specific mission.” MMMMMMHHHMMMMMMM

the future is forbidden, but not to Truthwatchers, sooooooo... is. this “Oracle”. a.......... Herald? PERCHANCE.

(He’s not, but I AM SUSPICION INCARNATE)

Weren’t they lying at the beginning and saying that Shallan was an Elsecaller? Because Odium thinks she’s an Elsecaller for some reason. And I wonder...who he’s spying through and where his attention is focused and who told him the lie?

KALADIN JUST WANTS TO SAVE HIS DAD IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK

aight, which world does canned food come from? How far ahead is the mistborn world whose name I can’t remember right now but it begins with an s SCADRIAL YEAH THAT ONE how far ahead is Scadrial in technological progression? Where does the Stormlight Archive fall on the mistborn timeline?

ADOOOLLIINNN. TALK! TO YOUR SPREN!!!

THEY DON’T KNOW??? THE BOYS DON’T KNOW? HOW THEIR MOTHER DIED?

HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW?

oh my god

that

god, that’s a huge lie to believe for so, so long. ohhh my goddd

someone has been writing down all the Unmades’ names, right? So I can look them up in the Coppermind later and be confused and try to work out which is which and what they do and how terrified I should be of them? cool thanks.

HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND

HE’S GONNA TELL US SECRETS!!!!! ARE THEY USEFUL!? WILL I LEARN THINGS ABOUT THE HERALDS!!!!??

I have one (1) priority in this establishment

...why does Syl have color

who is she

also LIGHTSPREN/REACHERS??? COOL AS FUCK OMG

“You don’t fly, you fall the wrong way.” Hehehehehehe <3

I HAVE MISSED KALADIN’S SELF-DEPRECATING JOKES THAT ARE FUNNY BUT ALSO VERY PAINFUL god, I love him. I love him so much. idk if y’all know this about me.

...ok, but the punny banter between Kaladin and Shallan is SO NICE Why do they have to be mean to each other so often why can’t they just be terrible sarcastic pun buddies?

“In that polished breastplate and striking figure, with her talk of chasing bounties and traveling worlds. She’s deeply mysterious.” CAREFUL, SHALLAN, YOUR BI IS SHOWING.

“The feeling was friendship, but neither of them had ever experienced it.” 

NOPE

NOOOOOOPPEE

WHO WANTS TO BET THIS SCENE IS SHIP FODDER DEAR LORD

Kaladin, darling, that shit is SO UNHEALTHY, DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS

god

also like. darling. no. “I wish I didn’t have to care” DARLING ALL YOU DO IS CARE WHO WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT CARING

THIS IS GOOD FOR NEITHER OF YOU STOP

DO NOT ENCOURAGE THAT IN HER AND DO NOT WISH THAT FOR YOURSELF, jesus

lord, ok, well, I’ve read 100 pages, so on that disappointing character note, I’m going to go to bed.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 278: MOMO IN CHARGE

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan were all “SIR, THAT’S OUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SENSEI” and got really ferocious and made a very passionate attempt to blow Tomura up and it was great. It basically did nothing, but it was still great. AFO was all “COME HERE LIL BRO”, and Tomura was all “silly Sensei, you can’t just take over my mind and body just like that”, and he was very confident of this despite there really being no evidence to back it up, but okay! Gran was all “time to make the fandom mad at me” and grabbed Tomura by the collar and yelled at him about Nana a bit, and then Bakugou and Endeavor made an even MORE passionate attempt to blow up Tomura, which may or may not have done some actual damage. The chapter ended with Gigantomachia battling Mt. Lady, just kinda out of the blue, which is FINE, but she had better be all right, though!

Today on BnHA: Everyone is all “WAUGHH IT’S GIGANTOMACHIA” and running around freaking out about it. The U.A. alums all kick some ass, and pretty much everyone else not from U.A. does jack fucking shit. Mt. Lady, who I plan on naming all of my future children after, does her best to stop Machia but he keeps flinging her aside. Kamui Woods is all “here I come with Midnight to put Gigantomachia to sleep!” and is PROMPTLY FUCKING MURDERED!? by Dabi because he’s a flammable tree man, and so Midnight falls all the way to the ground and is badly injured. So then she’s all “well I better call the most competent person I can think of to fix this mess” and dials up YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO, who proceeds to take charge LIKE THE BOSS SHE IS, and mobilizes the rest of the kids. And honestly I have more faith in them than in any of the adults at this point, so yeah, you know what? Let’s do this.

so I am possibly a bit spoiled on this chapter because I did a “top five predictions” post earlier this week, and someone replied to that yesterday on Thursday saying that they were mostly correct. I don’t know exactly how close to the mark I was though, and in any case most of the predictions were just “so-and-so shows up, probably”, so it’s not too bad. we’ll see how it goes!

OH THANK GOD MY BABIES ARE SAFE

I mean, CLEARLY they’re all about to be in horrible danger, seeing as Jirou is about to inform them of the whole “THE BIG GUY EVERYONE WAS AFRAID ABOUT WAKING UP WOKE UP” thing, but in the meantime at least Kami and Toadette and Honenuki made it back to the group safely

also Kaminari’s use of “Jirou-Jack” here is fucking inspired and I want him to teach a class on nicknames. isn’t he the one who coined “Yaomomo” as well? this boy has a gift and it needs to be appreciated

so Jirou is all “SOMETHING REALLY BIG IS COMING”, and actually she says “INSANELY HUGE”, which if anything is still an understatement, hard as it is to believe

WOW

“A BAD GUY IS HEADING THIS WAY?? SOUNDS LIKE IT’S TIME TO ABANDON THE CHILDREN IN THE WOODS” kjlfakh okay you know what?? fine!! you weren’t even going to do anything anyway so let’s not pretend!!

holy shit it’s like Mt. Lady isn’t even there

look at those speed lines!! goddamn. I just felt this huge rush of empathy for Mt. Lady though. like can you imagine growing up with this super-destructive quirk, and managing to become a hero with it against all odds, and having to put up with the manga making fun of you all the time just because sometimes you have a tendency to DESTROY A LOT OF STUFF, but it’s not like you can help it!! but the upside has always been that when your quirk is on, you are fucking UNSTOPPABLE though. so even though it’s been a hell of a rough ride for you, it’s worth it because you’re a complete badass and the number of people who can beat you out in terms of sheer physical strength is probably in the single digits. and you’re working really hard too, and lately you’ve been moving up through the ranks and actually becoming a damn fine hero if I do say so myself (and I do), and it’s like, about time though?? like finally, finally it is all starting to come together for you. and then this snarling trashrock person suddenly comes stampeding along and you put your all into trying to stop him, and it doesn’t even do a damn thing. like, holy shit. that’s just not fucking fair and YOU DESERVE BETTER, MT. LADY

anyway so she’s still hanging in there for now though so let’s check in with our villain squad riding on his back

lmaooo they’re all “I don’t even understand what is going on here”

YOU GUYS, THIS IMPLIES THAT THEY WERE ALL PLUCKED OFF THE GROUND BY THE SCRUFFS OF THEIR NECKS AND THEY HAD ABSOLUTELY NO SAY IN THE MATTER OMG. like I’m picturing Spinner being held by his cape pinched in between Machia’s thumb and forefinger, and awkwardly trying to lecture him like a mom with his hands on his hips all, “BAD GIGANTOMACHIA! NO! NOOOUAGH -- !” and cutting off with a yelp as he’s dropped onto his back

and I am glad they got Toga some clothes! I like to think Gigantomachia grabbed those for her as well. so thoughtful

wow Skeptic actually wants to go back to Re-Destro??

color me legit impressed. I underestimated your loyalty my dude. and let me also just take this moment to extend my gratitude toward Horikoshi for leaving the rest of the MLA out of it because good fucking riddance to them, goodbye forever hopefully!!

I guess they’ll be needing Skeptic’s quirk down the line for some reason? maybe he is meant to be like a new, less out-of-control Twice. smdh y’all out here trying to replace your dead buddy like a pet goldfish

who is this “they” Dabi is referring to

do you mean the heroes? lol yeah I guess they’re pretty distracted by the literal fucking kaijuu you’re currently piggybacking on

SIGH

“the Jakku team must’ve made a mistake” BOY, I’LL SAY. you know what, don’t even talk to me about that yet. it’s still too fresh. suffice it to say that your suspicions are correct and things in Jakku are not very daijobu right about now

anyway here’s a closeup of this bubble person just cuz

they are everything and I want them to be my friend. also there’s a squid person a few paces behind them who can probably do anything a squid can do. or they might actually be a shark person, actually. I don’t know. either way I love them

GETEN PLEASE GO AWAY

WE ARE PHASING OUT THE MLA!! MOVING FORWARD IT’S ORIGINAL LOV ONLY!! I’M SORRY BUT YOU DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT. we already have an ice character so shoo

OH DAMN MY MAN CEMENTOSS HAS HAD ENOUGH OF HIS NONSENSE TOO AHHHH YESS

1) hey so Cementoss is legit terrifying who’d’ve thought

and 2), did Cementoss always have a mouthful of gigantic perfect teeth each the size of a slice of bread, or is this just something I’m only noticing now because I’m behind the curve. either way, let me just say sincerely, DKJDLKFJLSKJG

RE-DESTRO YOU GO AWAY TOO!!

@waywardfacegarden​ you asked the other day which are the characters I actually dislike, and this is one of them lol. he’s just a big ol’ prick, and on top of that has the audacity to not even be interesting in any way so as to balance it out. anyway so apologies to any Re-Destro stans out there but I basically spend every panel he’s in hoping that someone will punch him in the face hard enough to finally make him shut up

anyway so my man Edgeshot is here though, finally!! but of all the people for him to fight! this is a real predicament for me. the most soothing character in the series contrasted with the character who grates my nerves the most. Edgeshot’s sexy ASMR voice is gonna be drowned out by all of RD’s punching and self-important ranting in the anime and I’m lowkey devastated but I’m gonna pull myself together and read on

SPEAKING OF SELF-IMPORTANT RANTING

Edge, if you can liberate us from having to put up with his insufferable ass once and for all I will be so grateful to you. can you do this. please. for me

and it looks like some other boring MLA villains are following along behind Machia so I’m gonna need someone to kick their asses as well. please

-- YESSSSSS

okay so now I see what that comment on my prediction post was referring to lol. I did indeed have my fingers crossed that these two would show up again, and sure enough! THE GANG’S ALL HERE YAY

and Mt. Lady is being sumoed aside!

anyone want tonight’s lotto numbers. during this brief fleeting moment of having my predictions be actually credible, I would just like to say that Hagakure is the U.A. traitor. thank you and goodnight

OH NO KAMUI IS WORRIED

HE LOOKS SO PANICKED?? OUT OF THE BLUE I SHIP IT SO MUCH?? I keep forgetting they’re on the same team and stuff and wow, I need to calm down

LOL MIDNIGHT IS ALL “NO TIME FOR SHIPS!!”

I wonder if her quirk will actually be enough to take him down? this is something I’ve been itching to see for a long time, actually. just how powerful is she? we know her quirk is more effective on males than females, but is anyone actually capable of resisting it? imagine if she really did just knock Gigantomachia out after all of this buildup. that would be some god-tier shit omg, DO IT

(ETA: I am just going to assume that since Horikoshi had to go to elaborate lengths to take her out of the fight, this means that her quirk really was capable of knocking them all out. another tragic case of Too Badass For The Plot. y’all better respect Midnight.)

YESSSSSSSS

is she stripping. you know what -- don’t think about it. I won’t let you ruin this for me Horikoshi. Midnight’s gonna be a badass because the ladies are fucking ruling this arc and that’s all there is to it

NOOOOOO

DABI GET BACK HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK!!

oh thank god, she’s all right. BUT KAMUI ISN’T THOUGH DLKJSFLKSJDG??!

did Kamui Woods just... die

(ETA: okay but for real, is there an actual curse in effect on the Billboard Top Ten right now, though?? did one of them accidentally disturb the tomb of some ancient king??)

...

( ･ั﹏･ั)

oH MY GOD!?!

NOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK TO SLEEP ON MAJESTIC, LET’S SEE IF THEY CAN DO IT!! GIVE US MAJESTIC GOD DAMMIT

(ETA: Horikoshi is seriously just yanking our chain at this point. when Majestic finally does show up, he or she better have the coolest fucking quirk of all time, that’s all I’m saying.)

okay how badly injured is Midnight here, though?? she just fell all that way?? DO I NEED TO BE REALLY MAD. I CAN WORK MY WAY UP TO IT PRETTY QUICKLY, JUST SAY THE WORD. I’M ALREADY HALFWAY THERE HONESTLY. WHERE’S KAMUI WOODS

!!!!!!!!!!!

AND JUST LIKE THAT MY ANGER EVAPORATES INTO THE NIGHT, YESSSSSSSSS!! MOMOOOOO

holy shit. “a quirk that can stop that thing,” she says. and goes and calls YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO y’all I am barely holding myself back from SCREAMING right now I...

you guys

you guys. if Midnight and Yaomomo team up to take down Gigantofuckingmachia using some sort of MOMO MADE A MACHINE TO SPREAD MIDNIGHT’S QUIRK strategy, or whatnot?? I will fucking die on the spot. you can end the manga right there. Kacchan you can keep your quirk I don’t even care

“IT MIGHT BE AGAINST THE LAW” lmaooooo insert John Mulaney “WE’RE WELL PAST THAT” gif here. holy shit. listen, that is fine. if anything it’s even better

WHAT THE FUCK

DO I NEED TO START GETTING REALLY MAD AGAIN!?!?! FUCKING WHIPLASH, IS WHAT THIS IS, BUT YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT SORT OF OVER-THE-TOP REACTION IS NEEDED HERE AND I’LL GO FOR IT

(((( ;°Д°))))

[GRABS HORIKOSHI BY THE COLLAR] listen, you. if you only just now, for the first time ever, gave us a lady hero actually mentoring another lady hero, which we have somehow NEVER HAD BEFORE in almost three hundred chapters, only for you to then KILL OFF THE MENTOR IN THE MIDDLE OF HER GODDAMN SPEECH TO THE MENTOREE, I will... there’s... I’ll... okay, listen. DON’T. THERE WILL BE A RECKONING. CAPSLOCK SUCH AS THIS WORLD HAS NEVER WITNESSED!!

ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛

I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO REACT TO ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER AND I’M LOSING MY MIND OVER IT

so the other kids are all “what the fuck” and “so Momo’s in charge??” which, YES!!! IT’S THE ONE GOOD PART ABOUT ALL THIS SO DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION IT

MOMO NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE CRIPPLED BY YOUR ANXIETY, YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL I BELIEVE IN YOU

hell, it’s not even just an “I believe in you” thing, because it’s not just belief, it’s fact. you motherfucking can do this, you are the most capable and brilliant student in 1-A, you just gotta have faith and let yourself shine!!

so now there are some more panels of Machia running and the villains and heroes fighting, blah blah blah. and Momo screwing up her face as she makes her decision...

YESSSSSSSSS

my baby girl is all grown up and TAKING THESE MOTHERFUCKIN REINS and MOMO I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU JUST SAY THE WORD!!

lol she’s all “Jirou use your ears and scientifically calculate how long it’ll take him to get here”, and Jirou is all “I can literally fucking see him, he’s gonna be on top of us in like two seconds” WELL OKAY THEN

thank god there are no adult pros left to fuck this up. is that weird that this is a real and honest and completely sincere thought that just ran through my head? like, at this point if any of the adults were around I’d just be afraid of them dying honestly. but with the kids I actually feel real hope that they’re somehow gonna do this. of course it helps that unlike the adults they’re pretty safe from being killed off

also! way to represent the entirety of class 1-B there Honenuki lulz. sorry, The Rest of Class 1-B

OH MY GOD

MT. LADY I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU AS WELL!! YOU HAVE MY LOVE AND FEALTY!!

I’M STANNING HER SO HARD I’M GONNA EXPLODE SOMEBODY HELP!?!

JIROU SAYS THAT MACHIA HAS SLOWED DOWN!! YOU GUYS I’M ABOUT TO GET “MT. LADY FOR PRESIDENT” TATTOOED ACROSS MY FOREHEAD

lmao at Shouji using his power of “putting some extra eyeballs on my arms” to inform everyone that Gigantomachia is Right Over There and Very Big

good job Shouji

oh my glob I have so much love for Momo right now that it can’t even fucking be contained. brb wildly flailing my hands around a little to try and release some of this excess excitement

maybe Momo can be president instead and Mt. Lady can be the vice president

NO THE CHAPTER IS ENDING I’M NOT READY

AND JUMP IS ON BREAK AGAIN NEXT WEEK TOO, FML!!

okay!!

Kaminari is so fucking brave right now I just want to crush him in a hug?! we know he’s still scared!! look at his eyes!! and he was freaking the hell out earlier too, and now the situation is much worse! but he doesn’t give a fuck because his friends need him! he is ready to be a hero, my little baby boy is all grown up and I’m so proud??

Mineta’s face in the bottom right corner is everything. I know, I know, boooo Mineta, but that’s still the best face anyone has made in the entirety of this manga

Tetsutetsu’s out here all “I humbly request to also represent class 1-B” and Momo is all “okay fine I guess we can have two of you guys”

can we all just stop for a moment to appreciate how KamiJirouMomo is alive and well. like, we had interactions between all three of them in this chapter, in all possible permutations? do you know how happy this makes me?? I am vibrating with joy??!

I really can’t stress this enough -- I have no clue at all what these little soda can things are (anesthetic, I guess??? you know, like how you sometimes buy cans of anesthetic at the supermarket?? what do you mean you don’t do that??), or what they’re gonna do with them. I have like negative clues. but DAMNED IF I GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. the next chapter can be them all fucking hurling them at his face for all I care. THE DETAILS OF HOW SHE KICKS HIS ASS DO NOT MATTER!! GOOD MORNING TO YAOMOMO AND YAOMOMO ONLY!! MY MOMO ACADEMIA

[carraville]

Hi there I'm writing a fic and wondered if you could help me with something. I don't know an awful lot about David beckham Paul scholes and Phil Neville. I know your a man Utd fan and you'll probably love them all haha but just tell me what they're like from what you can gather as people and players. Even if it's just your opinion that's fine! Thanks so much for your help

ok SO i do love them a lot and i know much more about them than i ought to, so much so to the point that it might be more useful if you had something more specific you need to ask about, because i…am far too involved in them??? buT general-wise i wrote a draft primer on the co92 a while ago and I’m just going to copy and paste from there and hope this helps!!!! 

putting this under a read more because this is....long

BECKS:

Everyone and their mum (especially their mums, probably) knows who David Beckham is, but did you know him when he thought that curtains were not just to make windows pretty but also for hair? Did you? Because curtain becks is almost as bad as half-alive mullet becks (although nothing can beat cornrow becks in the history of what the fuck were you thinking, let’s be real).

What can I tell you about Becks that you don’t already know? He has OCD and has to have an even number of coke cans in the fridge. He took cooking classes when he was at Milan and learnt how to make pasta (a far cry from his humble beginnings in Gary Neville’s kitchen). His middle name is Robert for Bobby Charlton. He’s honestly a more down-to-earth and clever bloke than people give him the credit for and he’s really just a little boy who’s loving what he does and works incredibly hard for it? A lot of people always remember the underwear modeling (for good reason, I mean, have you seen) but in doing so they dismiss his playing days, which is ridiculous because he was so fucking good. And hey, you can be good at both football and looking like a life-sized, anatomically correct Ken doll! His crosses were exquisite, his free kicks were sublime, and the partnership he had with Gaz is still guilty of murder for killing me through old, grainy youtube videos. Also everyone’s always keen to stress that he’s never really let fame change him or the way he deals with people, which is lovely.

If you wanna kill urself, watch his retirement interview with Gary, because it perfectly sums up who he is. Boy from Leytonstone who wanted to play football. He’s so insistent on being remembered as a player that it really breaks your heart that more people don’t. No one talks about how he tried that Wimbledon goal every day in training, or how he still hits exquisite free kicks aged 40plus because he practiced them for so damn long. He’s a beautiful talented hardworking boy and I lov him!! and he’s not arrogant or anything at all he’s just so cool!

Becks left United in 2003 after a bit of a bust up with Fergie, even though they remain on great terms nowadays. It broke everyone’s heart, it broke Gary’s heart, but it wasn’t so bad for Becks bc he found a Spanish goalkeeper to frolic around with. Still couldn’t watch us play for years, though, so there!!! In 2007 he moved to LA Galaxy, in 2013 he moved to PSG, and he retired then. It was great, he got thrown into the air and shit bc he was retiring so it wouldn’t matter if he broke his legs. ffs lads.

Fun fact: I still laugh at the fact that his house in Hertfordshire was called Beckhingham Palace

SCHOLESY:

My favourite story of him regarding this Intense Dislike for Humanity is this one: after the 2008 CL final, which we won, he was the first and only one on the team bus while everyone else was ostensibly getting drunk off their tits. At the next press conference, reporters asked him if he’d wanted to have some time to himself and reflect on how he’d finally gotten redemption for 1999. He stared at them and said, “I just wanted to go home.” 

IDC IF IT’S AN URBAN MYTH IT BASICALLY SUMS HIM UP ENTIRELY.

My other favourite story of him is him telling AC Milan’s president that ‘if you want me to play for you, you’ll have to buy this club’, because we’re the best club in the world. Seriously, his love for United is so great. Sometimes he’s described as an Oldham fan, but he’s said before that it was United first and Oldham second. Did I say ‘said’? I probably meant smoke-signalled it because this bitch is so hard to get interviews with. There’s this great one where he’d just retired or something so the BBC got him to do an interview and their first question was ‘is this a living hell for you, then?’ and his response was ‘it is, really, yeah…I’ve been thinking to myself ‘why the hell did I agree to this???’. I know people have been knocking him for talking a lot more nowadays but a) he’s a pundit, it’s his job to talk and b) I rly think it’s just because it’s his only link with football that he has left?? So he puts himself thru it, because he just loves football so much, and that makes me love him even more? The directors of CO92 had a kickabout with him and described it as watching a little boy play again and I think that’s just the most beautiful and pure thing and Scholesy is so pure. Except when he’s setting people on fire.

BC HE DOES THAT A LOT, like, you think he’s quiet so he ain’t gonna be up for much banter but, my dude, he is the most savage person you will ever encounter. The closest I’ve ever seen him come to pissing himself laughing was when he was describing attacking Phil with a 50-yarder and knocking a POOR INNOCENT BOY flat on the ground. Laughing at that! Also his sense of humour is absolute wreckage. Gary has the best story:

People think Scholesy’s shy and quiet but he’s one of the most cutting people I know. Example: the day Diana Law, who worked in United’s press department, was chatting with the players. “Gary, you remind me of my brother for some reason,” she said. “Why?” Scholesy replied, quick as a flash. “Is he a knob too?”

HAHAH u knob. AnyWAY this is getting long but tldr tiny ginger little shit who hates the world and would probably hate how much i love him. He debuted for United in 1994, scoring twice against Port Vale, and retired in 2011, then unretired in 2012 and waltzed into our starting XI, and then retired again in 2013. So the only person we could find to replace Paul Scholes was Paul Scholes. smh.

Fun fact: he used to steal all of Gary’s shit and hide things and he’s SUCH A LITTLE SHIT, both literally and figuratively, I love it

PHIL:

ok phil is just the sweetest purest cinnamon roll you will ever meet, ever, I mean you probably won’t ever meet him but u know what i mean. Sometimes I think he’s too sweet bc he’s such a dumb pushover. Someone once said he was everyone’s favourite Neville just by virtue of being not Gary. Which is hilarious. ANyway he’s a fuckin sweetie pie and family man who constantly refers to his kids has his babies even tho Harvey is, like, old enough to drive I think?? and he’s an incredibly good dad to Isabella especially who has cerebral palsy but he’s so!!!! supportive!!! and god what did we do to deserve this dumb boi. If we were doing a CO92/Spice Boys crossover he would be Redders hands down because he also gets a lot of stick, from his commentary to his analysis (I s’pose it doesn’t help when ur bruv keeps winning shit like pundit of the year), but he always takes it on the chin and laughs it off and keeps on being such a good person, kind to everyone he meets and genuinely good-natured. I love his self-deprecating humour, it’s the best thing. He also loves United a lot, altho probably not as much as he loves Gaz uwu

Ok, so he’s not the world’s most exciting or greatest player, but he was honestly rly talented and people can forget that?? I mean you don’t just make captain of Everton bc you’re the United captain’s lil bro. He scored some amazing goals when he was at United - maybe the olden day Jesse Lingard - not a great goal scorer but a scorer of great goals. And he was always so intent and almost enthusiastic going into things, which kinda mirrors his puppy personality, which I lov. because don’t let his puppy dog eyes and smile fool u, ok, he’s just as driven as all of them and he will get what he want. probably just with less blood and dead people than, like, scholesy.

He’s two years younger than the rest of them so he made his debut in ‘95 and then heartbreakingly left in 2005, going on to captain Everton (but not before scoring an own goal against us bc he loves us still really). He retired in 2013.   All these kids retiring in the same year! Tsk. It’s like they planned it or something.

Fun fact: he was a brilliant cricketer and used to play with Freddie Flintoff. A tear shed for the hungover Philip at Buckingham Palace that we never had

[phanfic--central]

Take a Break

A/N: It's March break finally! So, since I finally have the time, here's a little fic I thought of while at school one day.

Word Count: 1, 942

Warnings: Just swearing.

Genre: Angst and Fluff. My faves

 Your POV

I got into this relationship knowing the consequences of his work. He'd have times where he was busy, and didn't have time to spend with me. I understood that, so whenever those times came, I stepped away and was there for him. I kept my mouth shut and I dealt with it until he finally had time. It's just what I did as a supportive girlfriend. Every. Time. 

This time was different though. Usually these spurts of working last about a week, two at the most. This time around it lasted a bit more over a month. I love Dan, and I know he needs to work but as selfish as it sounds, I did want attention, and love. All I wanted to do was cuddle up next to him but this time around he didn't even let me do that. I knew he was stressed, but it started to take a toll on our relationship. Most nights I would go to sleep alone, then wake up alone. Pretty much my whole day was me being alone. I tried to pull Dan away from his work so he can take a break but him being the perfectionist he is, he kept working anyway. It got to the point where he'd ignore the things I was saying because he was too focused on his work. I kept biting my tongue until now. But I finally snapped when he started acting rude to me. 

I was sitting in his office, obviously, he was working on the computer. I was scrolling through my phone, and I looked up at him every few minutes. His eyes were glued to the screen as per usual. I let out a loud sigh and walked over to his chair, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. 

"Dan, take a break honey. You've been working too hard." I kissed his cheek and stared up into his eyes, which were still glued to the screen. 

"You tell me this every day, and every day I say I still need to work. Leave me alone, Y/N. I'm busy." He rolled his shoulder back, pushing my arm off his shoulder.  

I scoff, walking towards the door, "Because I totally couldn't tell you're busy Daniel." I heard a loud sigh come from behind me, and I turned in the doorframe, crossing my arms and staring at Dan. 

"What's wrong?" Dan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"I don't know Dan. You tell me."

"Love, I don't know-"

"Oh don't you dare call me love. You barely paid any attention to me these past few weeks…this past month!" I finally had enough with his shit. I gesticulated to emphasize how angry I was.  

"It's because I've been working Y/N! You know, that thing that people have to get money." Dan replied sarcastically, getting up from his chair. I walked towards him, trying to seem intimidating but his height compared to mine beat me every time.

"I am fully aware of that, Daniel. But you don't have to be working 24/7! I try to spend time with you but you brush me off! You don't even come to bed anymore!" I could feel my face heat up out of frustration. I felt tears sting my eyes but I pushed them back, I needed to be strong. 

"I'm busy, what don't you get about that?" Dan's voice got louder. 

"I do understand it Daniel. You know why? Because I deal with it every time you are 'busy'. I normally keep my mouth shut but god have I had enough. Do you even want me here anymore? I feel like I'm just a burden to you now!" I stared into Dan's eyes to see some sort of reaction. His facial expression softens for a second, and he mumbles something incoherently.  

"Hm?" I moved closer to Dan, who was staring at the ground. I touched his arm but he pulled it away. 

"Leave then!" Dan yelled, backing away from me. I stared at him in shock, and saw the instant regret on his face. 

"Okay." I mumbled quietly, walking backwards still staring at Dan. Did he stop loving me? I felt the tears threatening to spill again but I kept trying to push them back. His facials expression softened, and he took a step towards me. 

"I am so sorry baby; I didn't mean it please don't leave." Dan's voice cracked. He reached his hand for me but I backed away. "Please don't leave me." Before I could give into Dan's plea, I turned around to grab my phone off the side table, and headed down the stairs to the front door of our flat. I heard Dan mumbling apologies as he followed me down the stairs, but I ignored them. 

I got to the front door, sliding on my shoes and throwing my coat on when Dan stopped me again. 

"No no no, I didn't mean it love, I didn't mean it, please stay." I finally looked up at Dan and saw tears running down his face. He choked back a sob when I took another step away from him.

"Dan I-" 

"I know I'm terribly sorry please don't leave me." Dan sobbed, grabbing my arm and pulling me into an embrace. He held me tight, like he never wanted to let go again. I was reluctant to hug back, but decided to stay strong. I kept my arms by my side as I felt tears hit the top of my head. When I finally had enough, I pushed him away and Dan started crying more. 

"I know I fucked up, lov- Y/N," Dan paused, remembering that I told him not to call me love earlier, "but please don't leave. I need you, and I love you. I know I'm a terrible boyfriend but I promi-" 

I finally gave into Dan; I couldn’t take seeing him like this. So, I rested my hand on his cheek. He instantly leaned into my touch, as I wiped away some of his tears. He pulled his hand up, and rested it on mine.

"I just need air, okay Dan? I'll be back in a few minutes." I said, giving him a soft smile. Seeing Dan like this broke my heart, and I loved him too much and it hurt me seeing like this. After trying to be strong for so long, I let a few tears drop. I heard Dan hold back another sob, taking his hand away from mine and backing away like he was scared he'd hurt me even more. I could tell Dan felt guilty for saying it, I saw it in his eyes that it hurt him to know that he caused this. I gave another reassuring smile, then turned to open the door. 

I started walking down the stairs of the complex. When I got to the bottom, I heard stumbling from above me, and somebody mumble a soft "ow". I turned around to see Dan struggling to get his coat on as he runs down the stairs. When he got to the bottom I stared at him with a confused look on my face.

"Um…Dan, what are you doing?"  

"Coming with you." Dan simply stated. He walked passed me, and opened the door, gesturing for me to walk out first. I walked out, still confused about what he was doing. I walked out into the cold London streets, and looked around before turning back to Dan.

"Dan, when I said I needed air, I meant alone." I emphasized my last word, but I knew Dan was too stubborn to go back into our flat.  

"I know. But I would be an even more terrible boyfriend if I just let you be alone. I promise I won't talk if you want silence." Dan gave me his infamous smirk, and shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes at him, chuckling at his crazy antics, then grabbed his hand. We walked in silence through the cold, busy streets to calm down and think about what just happened. After 10 minutes of walking around in silence, our hands still intertwined, I decided to go into a Starbucks to warm up. 

"Go take a seat, I'll order for you." Dan said, letting go of my hand and pointing towards some seats. I walked away, taking a seat as I watched Dan take our orders. Even after a fight, he was still a sweetheart.  He kept looking back at me every few minutes, as if to make sure I was okay. Which, at this point I was. The moment Dan followed me out the door I forgave him for mostly everything. I just wanted to hear him explain why he said what he did. He walked over to our table, our drinks in hand and he gently places them down. He takes the seat across from me, and takes a sip and places his drink down. I was staring at the floor for a while, deep in thought. I looked up to Dan and saw him staring back at me with admiration. 

"What?" I chuckled. He smiled down at the ground, then looked up to me again with a soft look. 

"I thought I was gonna lose you to be honest." Dan softly said, looked out the window of the Starbucks, staring into the streets. Dan turned back to me, and grabbed my hand from across the table. 

"Well you did tell me to leave." I laughed coldly. It was true, I had to state the obvious. He shot me an apologetic look, and squeezed my hand. 

"I didn't mean to. I was stressed, and frustrated. More with myself than you. It's just-" he readjusts himself in his seat, so he's leaning closer to me. "I couldn't believe I made you feel like a burden, and that you thought I didn't love you anymore. I don't know what came over me and it was inexcusable what I said to you. But what you should know is that I would never actually mean to say that." 

I gave him a smile, furrowing my eyebrows when I did. "It's okay Dan." 

"But it's not okay, Y/N. I've treated you terribly these past few weeks and it's not okay." Dan let go of my hand and stared at the ground like it was the most interesting thing ever. Knowing Dan, he was probably overthinking this, thinking that at some point I would actually leave him. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I love you too, Dan."

"What?" Dan looked up at me again, chuckling a bit at my random outburst.

"I don't know." I laughed. "I felt weird not saying it back in our flat. I just want you to know that I love you too."

Dan laughed at me, shaking his head. However, he got serious quickly again. "I don't know how to make it up to you, love." 

"As cheesy and cliché as this sounds, you already did when you walked out that flat with me. You being here now is enough." Dan smiled at me, staring into my eyes before opening his mouth then closing it again. "What is it honey?" I squeezed his hand. 

"Can I kiss you?" He asked. 

I laughed at his question. Did he need to ask? "Why are you asking?" 

"I'm not sure if you wanted me to after what happened." Dan shrugged. 

I laughed more shaking my head. I let go of his hand, and leaned over the table to give him a soft, loving kiss. He grabbed my cheeks, and gently kissed back.

 A/N: Honestly didn't know how to finish it so I sort of just left it there.

[maple-keenes]

How To Get A Girlfriend

@bmcfemslashweek

“Jake, she’s really pretty.” Christine sighed.

“Chrissy, this has got to be the thirteenth time you’ve told me that this conversation.” Jake rolled his eyes.

“But Jake, she is - ”

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Jake interrupted.

Christine gave him a look. “Jake, this is why we broke up. You’re very unobservant.”

“We broke up because you figured out you were a lesbian, Christine.”

“That is irrelevant.”

“Ask her out, dumbass. Do you want some more food? Or another coffee?”

Christine had barely touched her food. “What do you think?”

“Right. No food for the pining girl. She would have to talk to the girl who she’s desperately crushing on. ”

“Jake!” Christine swatted his arm.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll be right back.” He got up, and Christine caught a glimpse of one of the other baristas berating Crush for something. She was laughing, though, and the boy was grinning. The Filipino boy she saw with her that one time Christine saw Crush at the mall had his arm around the other boy. She pulled out her phone, and noticing that Jake was still in line, texted him:

Chrissy C: Can you ask if the two boys are dating?

Jakey D: why

Chrissy C: Cause I want to find out.

Jakey D: why dont u ask

Chrissy C: Oh, I don’t know, because I don’t think I could even make eye contact with her and not be a blushing mess?

Jakey D: while that’s probs true i still think u should come up here and ask

Jakey D: why does it matter anyway

Jakey D: ur girl is literally wearing a pan pride pin i think ur good

Jakey D: i should ask where she got that

Chrissy C: Pfft. If she’s pan, she could still be dating one of them.

Jakey D: if u ask ill get u that super sweet coffee u lov

Chrissy C: Sold.

She wasn’t gonna lie, her heart fluttered a bit when Jake mentioned the pride pin. But Christine had to confirm she was single somehow, and since her best friend wasn’t cooperating, she was gonna have to do it herself. She walked up next to Jake, who was texting someone on his phone. “Hey, Jakey.”

He looked up at her, surprised. “Yo. I didn’t think you would go through with it.”

“You underestimate how much I love that coffee. Besides, I really do need to talk to her.”

They moved closer to the counter, until they were finally at the front of the line. “Hi!” Christine chirped.

The blonde girl glanced at her. “Hi. What can I get for you today?”

Before Christine could embarrass herself, Jake interrupted. “Two iced caramel macchiatos and a side of a quick conversation.”

“Huh?”

“Hi. I’m Jake. I was wondering where you got your pride pin.” “Brooke. And my friend Michael over there gave it to me.” She pointed over her shoulder at the Filipino boy. “Yo, Mikey! Where’d you get the pride pin?”

“You know that one shop in the mall that has like, graphic tees and shit like that? I got it there!” He said.

“Oh, I know that one.”Jake smiled. “Christine? You have anything you want to say?”

“Oh, um, I really like your hair. It looks really pretty.” Brooke smiled at the compliment, and Jake rolled his eyes. As they walked away, he said, “Someday, I’m gonna give you lessons on how to flirt.”

“You need to stop be such a smooth asshole. If you had let that conversation go on any longer, I think you would have gotten her number first!” Christine grumbled.

“A, I would haven given it to you, and B, I doubt my boyfriend would have approved of me getting her number for myself.” “Since when do you have a boyfriend?” Christine crossed her arms.

“Since, like, two days ago.”

“Weren’t you out with Rich all day two days ago?” She paused for a second, thinking, then gasped a little. “Are you dating Rich?” Jake smiled sheepishly. “Maaaaaybe?”

“Jake!” Christine punched him lightly on the arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t really know why. Sorry?”

“It’s fine, just…” She trailed off. “You finally got him! I was wondering why our crush talk had gotten a little more one-sided.” He blushed a little. “Yeah. I thought you hadn’t noticed.”

“I hadn’t really put the pieces together, I guess.” She grinned. “Congrats! You’ve been after Rich, for what, four years?”

“Christine.”

“Fine, fine. Can you give me some of those flirting lessons now?”

Jake smiled. “Of course.”

Brooke watched the girl, Christine, walk away, saying something about her friend needing to back off or something. Since the line had mostly died down, she propped her head up on her hands and watched the two have a conversation.

“Brooke, you’re being a stalker.” Michael teased, setting down a coffee next to her. She rolled her eyes and called out the name.

“I am not, Michael, she’s just very attractive!”

“Stalker.” Brooke stuck her tongue out at him.

Jeremy set the next coffee down next to her, kissing Michael on the cheek. “You should write down your number on Christine’s coffee cup.” “No PDA, you fuckstick.”

“Brooke, lay off, it’s not like we were full on making out.” Brooke glared at him, and Michael laughed a little. “I agree with Jer, though, you should write your number down.”

“And why would I do that?”

Jeremy facepalmed and Michael groaned. “Because. Then she has your number, and you can get to know each other and then date. If you don’t want to do that, her buddy is dating one of Jenna’s friend’s friends. I’m sure I can manage to get the number somehow.” Jeremy said.

“How do you know that?”

“Have you met Jen? As soon as she was told, she told… a lot of people. Rich was pretty mad.”

“Anyways,” Michael interrupted, “Jeremy, you are not allowed to get the number for her. I’ll write it down on the cup if I must.” He handed her Jake and Christine’s drinks.

Brooke took the one on the left and scribbled down Jake’s name. “Knowing you, you’d write something inappropriate and she’d never text me.”

“So write it!” Jeremy said. Brooke rolled her eyes and wrote down Christine’s name. She paused for a bit, and then decided to write down her number and “text me!”.

“I knew you’d do it!” Michael said.

Brooke laughed. “Two iced caramel macchiatos for Jake and Christine?”

She watched the two have a mini-argument, which ended up, evidently, in Jake having to go get the drinks. Brooke grinned and handed him the two cups. “Make sure your friend Christine sees what I wrote on her cup, okay?”

Jake looked confused, and turned the coffee around to face him. Seeing the message, he grinned. “Don’t worry. She’ll see it.”

Jake handed her her drink and sat down. “Did she get your name right?”

Christine rolled her eyes and turned the drink around. “Seriously, it can’t be that hard to spell “Christine” - holy shit.”

“What?”

“Don’t play innocent, I watched you look at it and smile, so I know you - why would she give me her number?!”

“Probably because she likes you and would like to get to know you.” Jake said slowly, dragging it out for effect.

Christine glared at him. “Oh, wow, really?”

“Mutual pining, Chrissy C.”

“Shut up! Just cause your crush likes you back -” 

“Oh, that doesn’t affect your chances with Brooke whatsoever.” Jake rolled his eyes. “Just tell her to text you when she gets off work or something.”

“Alright, fine. Can we talk about something else now?”

“Just as long as you don’t rant about musicals or something.”

“Jake, that’s like, literally all I know how to do.”

“Christine.”

“I’m serious! Jake, we need to find something we both like that isn’t our respective crushes. Oh, wait, hold on, Brooke just texted me back.”

He groaned. “Does our relationship even pass the Bechdel test?”

“Jake, there’s no Bechdel test, you’re a guy.”

“Pfft. What’d Brooke say?”

“She says she can get someone to cover her shift if I want to go out to lunch.”

Jake stood up and grabbed his jacket. “Bye!”

“Why are you leaving? I haven’t said yes yet!”

“Then hit send. I’m leaving cause this coffee shop is boring without friends. Bye, Chrissy.”

Christine laughed. “Bye, Jakey.”

He turned around and waved, nearly running into the door. Christine was still laughing when Brooke joined her at the table.

“Hey!” Brooke smiled.

“Hey.” Christine said.

“So?”

“Huh?”

“Do you want a ride? To lunch, I mean.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I think Jake took the car…”

She laughed. “Well then. Where do you want to go?”

“Um, I’m not super hungry for lunch…” Brooke brightened. “Then we can go to Pinkberry!”

Christine cocked her head to the side. “What’s Pinkberry?” “The frozen yogurt shop right around here!” She mock-gaasped. “Have you never been?’

“No?”

“Then it’s settled, Chris. We’re going to Pinkberry.” Her face turned red. “Is it okay if I call you Chris?”

Christine waved it off. “You’re all good.”

“Okay, good, cause it’d be really awkward if I called you something that you didn’t like, and then we’d just have that little cloud of awkwardness hanging over us during our date and I’m just rambling now, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but I thought it was cute.” Both girls blushed as Christine said that.

Brooke sighed. “We’re really bad at this.”

“No kidding. Wanna head out now?”

“Yeah.”

They got in Brooke’s car, and sat in awkward silence for a bit. Christine eventually spoke up. “So, um… the weather’s been nice?”

Brooke started laughing. “Oh my god.”

“I’m sorry! I’ve never been in this situation before!” “Try: “Hey, Brooke, you’re really pretty, I’m glad I went out on a date with you?””

Christine laughed. “I’m not gonna say that! Here: Hey, Brooke, you’re hot, but I’m not sure if it’s acceptable to kiss on the first date?”

Brooke turned furiously red. “That’s not fair!”

“All’s fair in love and war, Brooke.”

Brooke parked the car. “Alright. At this point, I don’t even want to go into Pinkberry, because i know you can get kicked out for PDA, so… wanna find out if it’s acceptable to kiss on the first date?”

“Brooke…”

“Chris…”

“Hell yeah.”

Brooke kissed her, and Christine just kind of let it happen, never having been kissed before. (She had never really wanted Jake to kiss her when they dated.) Eventually, the “you should probably kiss her back” part of her brain kicked in and… for a first kiss, it was pretty damn good.

Brooke pulled away, and laughed. “Well?”

“Definitely acceptable. Best first kiss ever.”

Brooke gasped, and then laughed. “I was your first kiss? Sorry, Chris.”

“No! That was… that was amazing!”

“I’m glad.” Both girls sat there, smiling like idiots.

Christine can say she’s definitely an expert on how to get a girlfriend.