#anyway it isnt that big of an issue or anything. i love that they listen and improve. its just impossible to please everyone

[azurechicken]

It is a good thing that the BG3 team is attentive and we get updates all the time, but where does it end? If they are going to continue changing stuff about the game per request, what will be there left of what they envisioned in the first place? Especially for character traits and dialogue, like making them kinder and more likeable, just because there were two more people asking for it and they happened to see it. I just don't want to see characters shift into generic ones just because of a need to respond to everyone's ideas

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could I request TADC with a character who has abandonment issues and is afraid they’ll be left alone again? 🥺 thank you in advance!

TADC cast x reader who has abandonment issues!

rubs my silly little hands (the admin also has abandonment issues/is working through them) gonna answer a few requests then i think i might make meringue cookies (they have a weird packing peanut texture that i love. or at least how i think they would feel, admin has never actually touched or chewed a packing peanut but he likes to think this is what they feel like)

CAINE:

honestly if anything you might have to ask him to give YOU some space; caine in his spare time always wants to spend it around with you. doesnt even matter if you guys are doing something, he will literally just hover and run his mouth because he just cant get tired of you. so i think out of all of the cast hes going to be the one where to feel the most secure around since he pours his heart out about how much he loves you (whether platonically or romantically!). even when youre away off doing something else, hes likely gushing about you to anyone who will, and sometimes even wont, listen. embodiment of the "shes my girlfriend ehehe" mickey mouse meme that i saw going around a few weeks ago; point is theres nothing you need to worry about! however he listens when you share your worries, and squashes them down with reassurances and affirmations

POMNI:

oooo okay so this one is interesting because pomni is actively looking for an exit out of the digital world. and i think that this is common knowledge to just about everyone around her, you included. so i think that this might very likely feed into your fear of her leaving you behind... because what are the chances you guys would reunite if she actually found an exit? i mean can you imagine? and thats even assuming you guys would remember your time in the digital world when you return; im kind of on the fence on whether or not the digital memories would still be there after an escape, since you forget everything when you enter the digital world... (also as a side note for fluff with that idea imagine meeting with whoever after escaping and not knowing youve met before but you guys still fall for one another. this isnt just for pomni but for any of the characters. love that idea, so much)

anyways, as ive said a few times before pomni is... not good at comforting... but she sure as hell were try.. though, even she doesnt seem so sure of herself when she says shes going to be looking for you when you both escape, like shes scared you guys will be separated forever

"together"

RAGATHA:

as sweet and caring as ever, if you confide in her about your fears shes going to make sure youre not left in your thoughts. the best at reassuring you, and perhaps even pulls up an activity for the two of you to do together so you have something to get your mind off of it. if you dont approach her, shes going to notice that something is wrong with you and ask you yourself if youre okay and if theres something on your mind... does her best to stamp out your thoughts of fear and doubt, shes not going anywhere and she doesnt intend on abstracting anytime soon (though, can she really help it, if she ever does?)

point is i think out of all of the characters shes going to be the best in terms of comfort and making you feel safe and secure; and if it makes you feel any better you guys come up with a system of sorts to pin down the other if you guys ever escape the digital world; so you can find one another.. very sweet stuff, i think

JAX:

while ragatha is the best in terms of giving comfort and security, jax is probably the worst. the guy does not particularly scream the most emotionally mature and available; if anything i think he might brush off your worries with soft jabs like "dont be dumb, im not gonna go anywhere" or something in that vein. as per usual i think it would take you showing real big signs of distress for him to drop the whole asshole thing and try to make you feel better and assure you that hes not going to go anywhere. and even then its still a little.... eh... i mean jax isnt the best at comforting people; its not really his... thing, you know? sure he wont turn his back on you or make you feel bad (on purpose) but his main way of assuring you is just pushing the statement that hes not going to leave you be ("besides, im not done messing with you yet,") and even offers to hang out with you for the day/until you feel better

KINGER:

similar deal with caine in the case of "youre probably going to be the one asking for space" simply because kinger is too paranoid that something is going to happen to you that hes always trailing you and keeping you in his line of sight... honestly, i think his fears might even mirror your own; youre scared that hes going to leave you behind, and hes scared that something is going to happen to you and you wont be around anymore. neither of you can bury the thought... and in a weird, and perhaps even an unhealthy way depending on how intense it is and how you personally view it, you guys find comfort in your shared fears. like a confirmation that the two of you are too afraid to let go... you poor things... in short, you dont need to worry about anything, kinger is not going to be going anywhere..! in terms of comfort, he lets you hug and hold him and mess with his robes fur while reassuring you. back pats n rubs are in order, me thinks

ZOOBLE:

while zooble might come off as mean and cold, i dont think theyre exactly an asshole. sure they can come off as such thanks to their tone and attitude, but they care about you and while they struggle with expressing that... theyre trying their best... so at least theres an effort to let you know that they at least enjoy your presence..! their... flat voice doesnt really do them any favors but thats just how they talk. very firm in telling you that theyre not going anywhere, and to the point about it. while the others may go on tangents about why they wont leave, zooble will be blunt in simply saying that they care about you and that youre cool and that theyre not planning on just up and ditching you. now THATS not cool, unless you did something to them that warranted such a reaction... but what are the odds of that + then they would be in their right to bounce yk?

that aside, theyre firm and blunt in terms of comforting you, and often times offer to let you take the reigns for the day to choose what you guys do, in an attempt to make you feel better with something you enjoy!

GANGLE:

oh ho ho i think she would also have abandonment issues.... i mean it comes with the shy artist thing, you know? outcast weird kid who actually is a neurodivergant individual energy, you know? ponders. so i think, similar to kingers piece you guys find mutual comfort in the fact youre both so scared of the other leaving (again, the energy around that is up to you) and in an odd way it brings you two even closer. though, i dont think that would be enough for either of you to actually overcome your fear of abandonment, because ultimately its both something you guys need to work on... but why do it alone? you guys probably share tips and build each other up, going through something with a friend/partner isnt as scary or intimidating as doing it alone... so thats nice, i think..! not many ideas for gangle, unfortunately but i think i will leave this open with the concept of both of you healing and all that :3

[xplrvibes]

alright im half way thru and here are my thoughts so far:

1. I truthfully don’t know any of the controversy around joe rogan, i just know he’s hella popular for being controversial and he’s someone i’d be on edge to have a convo with bc what i have seen is he questions everything and he isn’t afraid to let you know he doesn’t agree. but snc seem to really like him and vibe with him and it does seem super out of the blue for joe to want ghost hunters to come investigate his place (I hope this isnt a set up). either way, sounds interesting.

2. that contract from o-park mall is challenge worthy. they spelt colbys name entirely wrong (misspelt his last name and used his nickname and not his legal name) making it null and void from my understanding. i would also say the same abt sam as they used a nickname not a legal name. A good lawyer could wiggle them out of that if they cared.

3. loved hearing colbys take on religion. im the same, i’m not so much religious as i have a relationship with God. i think thats way more important than being in a religious community. and i also feel the same way about just knowing there’s something else out there. also interesting he was the only one on the table who doesn’t have dreams of dying. chop that up to trusting in God and not being afraid bc he knows God has the perfect plan and everything is in control, or just generally not afraid to die for other reasons, who knows. definitely fascinating, either way.

alright i’ll be back in 1.5hr hours with part 2 comments. I probably missed a bunch of stuff i could’ve commented on but these are my standout comments.

- aussie anon

I finished the podcast late last night and then immediately went to bed without really doing a deep dive into my thoughts on the whole thing (aside from a few choice areas that stuck in my brain and had to be discussed in dm's last night lol), so I'm going to use your reviews to sort of start my own review, and then will probably finish up with an additional post later on side thoughts - cause I have a lot lol.

1, The thing with Joe Rogan is that he kind of plays both sides of the fence, in terms of not just politics, but pretty much anything going on (he will have on conservatives and liberals, will have on atheists and people like snc, will have on scientists and then people who believe in UFOs, etc) and so he tends to be very controversial because of that. I don't listen to him, his viewpoints on certain things aren't really my cup of tea and he has in the past said some stuff in his pursuit of riding the fence that was not good and gross and everything, so this is not me defending him or whatever - but at the end of the day, he has the most listened to podcast on earth and love him or hate him, is a household name. Them being invited on his podcast, being treated very well by him, and then him keeping in touch with them and inviting them out to his comedy club is objectively a big deal for them and their visibility and they aren't going to turn that down because twitter - who has pretty much made it clear they lowkey hate snc anyway lol - have an issue with the collab.

I actually found that part of the conversation interesting, because the whole thing came about because his daughter was a fan of theirs, which I just find kind of hilarious and random. Imagine how many people of notoriety and fame they meet or could potentially meet because those peoples' teenage children are fans.

2, I don't think they would actually get arrested for showing up at that mall at this point in their careers, anyway - most malls do not have the uumph to take shit like that truly seriously, and both S & C have made it public that they've been back in there since (one time right after the release of their book, Colby went into their Barnes and Noble with his mom and illegally signed a few of the books on the shelf and posted about it all over his instagram lol). But it is objectively kind of hilarious that they are "banned" from entering the mall and yet they've had consumer products in three of their stores (B&N, Hot Topic and Zumiez), and have had their faces on the store fronts of two of those three.

3, I strangely found that interesting as well, and I normally tend to zone right the fuck out when people talk religion (sorry, all). I was raised Catholic but am not religious these days in my own life, although I certainly do believe that something else has to be going on, hence all the ghosts and stuff. But for whatever reason, hearing others talk about religion always makes me feel wildly uncomfortable - I think it's just feeling like that's something personal and so different from person to person and I just don't like feeling like I'm intruding on their privacy by hearing it (even if they are offering it up freely), if that makes sense? I don't know, I'm just weird about those conversations in general.

But I find it interesting when these two talk religion, firstly because of the content they make and how it would tie back into their own personal belief system, but also just how interesting it is that this is one of those areas where they kind of balance each other on opposite sides of the scale, and yet somehow come together perfectly at the end. It's an interesting phenomenon with them.

Also, all of them talking about dying in their dreams and Colby just piping in with "I've never died in my dreams 😃" like go off, you sweet little just happy to be there king.

[chaeyoungeeee]

why is love so hard?

summary- y/n and taehyung are dating. their girlfriend and boyfriend. with love comes many hardships and this couple struggles with all the issues especially because their fairly young. will it last forever or will they breakup?

rating- 16+

pairings- boyfriend taehyung, girlfriend y/n

genre- eventual smut ig, couple

warning- angst, arguments, grinding lol, breast play, light spanking lol

disclaimer- i don’t own taehyung! this is just a ff

A/N: heyy, this is my first ever ff so im not very used to what i’m supposed to do to make it a good one! please make sure to tell me if there is anything to do to improve. im planning on making a series. maybe every chapter can be a different argument concept! anyways i hope this is good <3 omg also pls ignore my punctuation and vocab their is not a range im sorry 😭 it will defo improve tho overtime just not rn

it was a saturday afternoon and there you sat at the coffee shop alone because your boyfriend left you to go talk to his childhood girl best friend. you cross your arms and sigh, you think its best to not look at him to avoid getting jealous. its not a big deal you think. but its annoying to be left alone for some prettier girl. you decide to distract yourself on your phone. you were planning not to say anything until you look up at them and their hugging. in what situation does it involve for her to hug him?? you thought they were just talking. you decide to ignore it. you dont wanna be known as a bitch you know? you get so fed up you stand up and gather your things and leave, choosing to be blind from the apparent flirting that is going on between them.

you decide to indulge in some self care. you have a warm bubble bath, you do a facemask, you make yourself some cookies and guess what? still taehyung isnt home. you scoff to yourself and go over to the couch, turning the tv on. you decide to put mean girls on. always a movie that distracts you but not right now. what if taehyung likes his best friend better now? you decide to just have a nap because it seems nothing is working to distract yourself. your slumber is soon interrupted by taehyung carrying you upstairs. you open your eyes and furrow your eyebrows. “tae..?” *you rub your eyes softly.* “what time is it..?” he licks his lips “its 7:43pm, baby. whyd you leave the coffee shop?” he puts you down on the bed. you scoff “are you being serious?? been at the coffee shop for 2 hours? what were you even doing with her, huh? i left because you clearly were having fun with your friend. why were you hugging her??” you question, frowning a little. were you just not good enough or something? he bites his lip in frustration and ruffles his hair. “listen, babe. we havent seen each other for 9 years. she was the one talking to me. did you think i wanted to talk to her for 2 hours? i wanted to talk to you only. i was just being polite.” you sigh “answer my question, taehyung. why were you guys hugging??” he sits at the edge of the bed, clearly fed up. “can i not hug my friends now? can you just stop crying about it? its not even a big deal, babe.” youre offended now. youre not making a big deal out of this. its just frustrating. “you know what? why dont you fuck off to her then if im making such a big deal about this, huh??” he glances over at you in disbelief. “baby- stop this. you know i dont want her. youre the only one i want.” you purse your lips. “clearly not.. i’m going out. dont even try and follow me.” and with that you begin to walk to the door. he raises his voice a little “you cant just walk away from this y/n! if youre genuinely jealous we need to talk about it.” you shake your head “im not talking about anything with you, fuck off.” and you open the door and slam it behind you. leaving taehyunf alone. you decide to get in your car and drive to your friends house. youre honestly so tired with all this.

5 hours later- 10:13.

you walk in the house, tired asf and youre sure taehyung has probably left until you walk into the kitchen. peonies on the counter..? your favourite flowers. you smile a little and turn to the dining table where taehyung sits, asleep on his arm. you see a paper folded beside him, being curious you go over to him and open it. ‘im so sorry babe. i didnt mean to make you jealous. i promise i wont leave you again without bringing you with me. i love you, princess.’ you blush. princess?? thats new. you feel taehyungs eyes on you and you put the paper down. hes awake now. taehyung yawns softly. “im sorry, jagiya…” you sigh and you find purchase on his lap, looping your arms around his neck. “im sorry to.. i might have made a big deal out of it but i was just.. mad.” you decide to connect your lips. taehyungs hands fall to your hips, squeezing softly as you mouth at his lips, you dart your tongue inside his mouth as he does the same. you have an idea. you slowly begin to grind on his crotch. he groans into your mouth as you do the same, savouring the feeling of his long thick clothed member against your sex that is already wet. you pull away. “fuck i need you so bad, baby..” you continue to grind harder. his hand falls onto your ass, slapping it harshly. you moan. “baby.. please just fuck me.” he smirks “not yet, jagiya.” he slides his hands up to your boobs that are spilling out off your dress. he slides the straps off your dress down and begins to fondle with your breasts, his fingers teasing the buds by pinching them. arousal dripping both of you, hot bodies rocking against each other. the sound of you guys moaning. this is the best thing you ever came up with to forget about an argument!

[somuch-4-stardust]

okay <3 today we r talking abt headcanons i hate!!! umm none of these have any basis i just dont like them i think they r wrong <3 obviously i dont hate people who enjoy these hc do whatever u want have fun etc etc etc i am not attacking u specifically

starting off w one of my least favorites. cwilbur is NOT transfem!! he is intesex and transmasc (source: me)!!!. all the minors in the server are NOT friends u cant just push cpurpled into a group w benchtrio bc they r all minors??????? (<- im totally about to do exactly that in a sec when i talk abt hc i do like. the real reason is i think cpurpled and cranboo would hate each other ^-^) ctommy DOES have wings BUT they r gold and if u say anything else ur WRONG!!! ctommy was not nine during the first lmanburg war!! cranboo and ctechno are not that close (<- this is actually kinda canon i do not care tho let me be in denial) ctommy is not the token straight please stop saying hes the token straight if he heard you he would be sad (<- on that topic. transfem ctommy is acceptable. i have to put it here bc im not putting it in the 'my fav hc' category but i think it needs to be said) ckarl and cghostbur are not as stupid as u guys make them out. ctechno is not the middle child he is not the middle child U R WRONG!! ctommy also was not focused on saving lmanburg bc 'omg city where ppl live im a hero' and more 'thats. my house bro also i dont want to die' hes not as selfless as u think!! hes also stupid like ctommy is genuinely just an idiot

and now. for loving <3 cpurpled and ctommy are qpps and they live together in cpurpleds ufo which is definitely totally not blown up. ctommy listens to saint bernard by lincoln too much. ctubbo and ctommy are not on speaking terms and honestly it hasnt upset either of them. ctechno is in that stage of trans where he like doesnt mind he/him prns and doesnt care enough to change prns. csbi totally is real and also includes hannah and niki and sally is married to niki and yes sally is a fish niki is like. a mermaid or whatever but sally is literally just a salmon. ctechno and cwilbur and ctommy and cniki and channah and probably csally are all autistic. cpurpled is autistic too but denies it bc 'really is it a big deal any way' ummm cquackity has a touch of the tism too mayhaps. oh and cslime is autistic. anyways back to cpurpled. he is a transman and also refuses to dye his hair purple bc hes an asshole and also he has abandonment issues bc i mean look at him. cniki is the coolest transfemme ever. ctommy is a pretty girl but hes a boy. cghostbur and lmanburg and alivebur and revivedbur and stuff all have different pronouns. they all listen to los campesinos actually los camp is always playing on the server and if for some reason not a single person was thinking abt los camp the whole place would blow up boom boom. ctommy is missing a limb or too (part of his hand, his foot, a little bit of the back of his head/skull, his ear) ctechno gives people he likes gold. like a lot of gold like his family just ended up w huge ass collections of gold jewelry. ctommy uses only neos but doesnt care enough to correct ppl cuz like ITS ALOT OF WORK U KNOW ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. cdream isnt transphobic but also did misgender ctommy on purpose in exile. ctommy had raccoon ears and tail which was. quite the combo w the wings. in the csbi family the order, eldest to youngest was: kristin, phil (<- obviously. they r old haha point and laugh) techno, wilbur, niki, hannah, tommy. cpurpled does kill people in cold blood and he isnt bothered by it for the most part. calyssa is transmasc. ctommy bites people. cbbh is evil but also dad shaped. ctommy is scared of swimming.

[flightless-icarus]

saturday august 27, 2022

so yesterday i had apartment inspections and my landlord kept complimenting my apartment bc it was so empty LMAO and it made it easier to check outlets and stuff. i have such a headache right now, but im awake because i had a really late dinner and now i have indigestion bc of it. im sitting here feeling sick as HELL since i ate so late- and i know that happens, but i cant skip meals rn, i literally can’t afford to skip my meals right now, weight wise.

ive been popping nausea meds like its candy lately to keep my stomach frrm getting so upset lately. it was even fucking testing me tonight but i just tried to breathe through it. i didnt want to take another one, because they give me headaches lol, which is frustrating bc i have one

im super sleepy, but i cant go to bed until i get a shower, and i dont wanna get in the shower until this indigestion goes away. i need some water, but im procrastinating it.

i just got some water.

things have been tough lately. im all hung up on my ex friends messages to me. i know what she said was bullshit- she called me selfish and a liar. If putting myself first, and taking care of myself and setting boundaries is selfish, then i am absolutely selfish. and i dont recall ever lying to her about anything aside frorm my feelings towards her. (her and i lived together at one point and i was very fake-nice to her while we lived together to keep the peace because when she decided she hated me [typically for ableist reasons], she was really mean and verbally hostile and it made me stop eating and get sick, so i was fake with her for my own safety and health, and then i was convinced to give her another chance and regretted it shortly after because i realised she very much hadn’t changed, and was gaslighting me and telling me I had problems when she was the one causing issues.) but anyway, she kept telling me my “karma was getting me for being such a bad person” which has me… confused.. even after talking to it with some close friends.

i live alone, my bills are paid (things are just financially rough for 1 more month, then after this month, ill be pretty set money wise), my apartment is my own, im in an okay area, i have the best friends ive ever had in my life, i THINK i have a crush on someone who feels mutually- like this is the closest to having a partner ive been in several years, i have a therapist, i have health insurance and im getting answers to my health issues, i get to spend my days doing the things i love (art), and im separated from my parents. fully.

i am literally the best ive ever been (aside from trauma stuff coming up, but that comes with the territory of being alone with ur thoughts all day and night) and im in the most stable living situation ive ever been in, and shes gonna tell me MY karma is getting me rn while shes working at target and trying to solve all her health problems with essential oils???? (she is anti vax)

im just so deeply confused. she said “have fun with your lame ass life and 5 internet friends and being selfish and living in a terrible neighbourhood, karmas a bitch now bye”

i dont place my value in how many friends i have, or how many times i go out. ive tried to tell her SEVERAL times that im very content being a homebody. i enjoy spending time alone and have fun with playing video games or watching youtube, reading, writing, and creating art. i like being inside. ive explained that to her more times than i can count and the fact that she just never once listened to me and is calling my life lame lmao. 4 of my 5 friends live only about an hour away and could visit if I scheduled with them a time to hang out, and my neighbourhood isnt bad. Yes there’s gun violence around here, but its… florida… of course there is. she thinks its some big dangerous neighbourhood bc its a predominantly black neighbourhood and shes racist as hell. this neighbourhood isnt more, or less dangerous than any other neighbourhood in my city. plus…… she tries to use ‘karmas a bitch’ at me as if i haven’t told her many times that i dont believe in karma. i believe in consequences to your actions. good & bad is subjective (in non-extreme cases), this situation specifically- i think shes awful and she thinks im awful. Does that mean we both get bad karma? no. it doesnt make sense. karma would only make sense for r^pists and ped0s and m^rderers and ab*sers. People like that.

I hope she figures out how to treat people who are different than her. she gets in this “i can fix them” mindset and then gets mad when they dont accept her “help”. She would always tell me how she. only wanted to help me, but anytime i came to her with my issues, i got ridiculed, questioned, ignored, and made fun of. I told her about my deep, personal shit and i was met with her asking me the most vile, invasive questions ive ever gotten about that issue in my entire life. i told her about something as silly as my water heater breaking and the maintenance man freaking out about it because it was so aggressively dangerous and unsafe to even keep turned on and i had to get an emergency replacement because of it- i told her about that and she didnt even acknowledge it, she just said “damn, anyway did you listen to my voice memos”

also she wants to claim i dropped off and never checked in with her…. i just moved into a place oN MY OWN *one month ago*. ONE MONTH AGO. I ***JUST*** GOT SETTLED IN THIS PLACE THIS WEEK. Im finally getting used to handling cleaning and cooking for myself every day, and im getting used to being alone and finally getting over my nighttime paranoia and im dealing with a lot of trauma stuff that i clearly cant go to her with- and shes gonna accuse me of just dropping off because i didnt talk to her for a couple of weeks, when i have friends i can, and HAVE dropped off from for YEARS and we picked back up chatting like nothing ever happened.

Biggest example is this guy i was friends with in 2020, one day i just quit replying, and he did the same, and i just reached out to him literally 3 days ago and he still refers to me as his friend and we were chatting and talking shit with each other, and he told me about how he still plays music and hes been putting most of his energy into that. Same with a different guy, we didnt talk for a year and now we’re updating each other on our lives and chatting again, and he told me all about how hes visiting his girlfriend in a week and im really excited for him, especially bc theyre moving in together next year. and yet she couldnt handle 2 fucking weeks while i was adjusting to living alone and unpacking by myself and trying to take care of myself during this really big adjustment?

she also tried to tell me that my ex friends told her about how im such a liar and how im so selfish and i asked her to tell me what i have lied about, because she has a history of just calling me names (ableist, a liar, a manipulator, etc) just because she “Wants to piss me off” and she “doesnt actually believe that”, because ive called her out on calling me names before and i would say ‘show me how im being X’ and then later id call her out and say ‘idk why you said this, you never told me how i was being xyz’ and she’d say “oh well i dont actually think that, i was just mad” so i plan to tell those ex friends shes so close with that she either lied about them, or threw them under the bus :) either way, shes about to meet her “karma” aka: consequences to her own actions. once i get my laptop back from them and pay them back, im telling them about her either lying on their name or throwing them under the bus so they know shes a rat. idk why she would use their names tbh lmao, considering her and i were actively fighting.

call me petty, but id wanna know if my friends were throwing me under the bus.

i dont need her. i dont need anyone like that in my life. i dont want to be friends with people who will spin false narratives about me because im taking care of myself, or lying out of self preservation because you make me feel unsafe. i dont want to be friends with people who dont make me feel good. ive had enough of those. i didnt even let my family treat me poorly, what makes you think im gonna let random people treat me badly.

anyway, its 4am and i want to get in the shower, my stomachs feeling a little better, and maybe now that ive written about this, ill shut the fuck up about it. i keep talking to a friend of mine a bout it and im sure ive annoyed the absolute fuck out of them (though they agree with me and ive told them everything ive written here)

[meowlimia]

TW ED vent

This isn’t an ed post necessarily. the first part of this post is a regular vent and the 2nd part is ed related business. trigger warning, i mention sxicide, food, ed related things, depression, etc. i dont plan on ever tagging my posts so this is probably the last big trigger warning i’ll put on my posts.

**

This is kind of a jumbled mess, i just typed exactly what i felt and what came to mind. i dont do in depth ed logs so if youre here for that this isnt it, i just cant be asked.

So like to get right into it. Me and my bestfriend have been having PROBLEMS. like bad ones. at least i think their bad, she thinks everything is dandy. She likes to do this funny girly thing where she finds a new person to date every few months and they become the absolute center of her world. despite, of course, us being bestfriends for 5 years. I’m not a jealous or possessive friend, I think that stuff is gross and makes me uncomfortable. but its annoying, some days she doesnt message at all, or leaves me on seen for almost an entire day. and when she DOES respond, its to tell me about all the fun theyve been having and how much shes missing him. which is great, im glad shes happy, he seems like the first genuinely good person shes dated. i just wish i didnt have to hear about it constantly, i wish my value as a friend didnt go to 0 everytime she finds a new person to obsess over. and of course, i always have to pick up the pieces and join in her snarking of her exes because they were definitely 100% of the problem (in all fairness, they were all really shitty). 

The thing i find an issue with is like. she will NEVER stop talking about him. ben this ben that my god i dont even know ben why do i need to hear about him. i would understand if she need to vent or just wanted to talk about him a little, thats completely fine. but what im not okay with is day in day out talking ONLY about ben. 

The only non-ben related thing we talk about is how awful shes feeling. sending me random pictures of her crying, talking about how she wants to kill herself, or her self harm, her bloody scratches. the worst part is she thinks its funny, and acts like shes not doing it to purposefully worry me. what do you want me to say? this is the 10th crying picture youve sent this week, this is the 10th time youve mentioned your self harm. i dont know what you expect me to do, i cant live in a perpetual state of worry and stress over how youre doing anymore. its exhausting. especially when she KNOWS how bad my ed is getting for me, how at this point im barely living for any reason other than purging and binging.

Yet of course, when i vent, i get the usual. “sorry bbg, not feeling up to reading/listening right now. love you” thanks! i genuinely do understand. thats why i tell her everytime what the voice message is, or what the hidden message is. i know shes struggling, but i am an awful person too. i do feel the need to vent to my closest friend, i do feel the need to vocalize what im going through.  Either way, she gets upset when i delete it, because i felt guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed that i sent it in the first place.

I feel awful and guilty for it, but sometimes i feel like i truly hate her. I absolutely shouldnt feel this way, she is suffering greatly with her illnesses. I havent lived in her shoes, i dont know just how bad it is for her, i have no place to be upset at her for how shes feeling. But i still do. sometimes i just dont understand why shes being like this. She is on medication, she has a job she enjoys and doesnt pay rent/bills/anything, she has 4 people at anytime interested in her romantically, she makes friends within minutes of meeting people, she has a nice room with fun things shes bought or other people have gifted to her, she has a caring supportive boyfriend, she has great hair, she is genuinely beautiful inside and out and has a great personality. i just dont understand. its disgusting to say it and i know that, but i cant help it.

anyway thats my vent about my friend over. ed catch up time xx

things have been going well, in terms of losing weight/restricting/purging. 

I’ve started to purge maybe 3-5 times a day? sometimes more in small amounts. something ive noticed is that i dont really binge often? usually i eat normal meals. like one packet of samyang ramen, fried eggs, and chamomile tea. its a small meal not calorie wise, one regular samyang pack is 530 calories, plus maybe 200 cals from the eggs, and maybe 100 for the oil i cook them in. the chamomile tea is 2 calories, plus maybe 20 with the tiny bit of honey i put in. its not a low calorie meal but its pretty small in portion size. either way, i’ll still purge something like that. i dont go on the kind of crazy binges ive heard a lot of people with eds do, like 3k or 6k meals. thats not from a sense of superiority, i just genuinely dont have access to enough food to do crazy binges like that

i think this is why i dont purge as much as i could be. sometimes a meal is so small i just cant be bothered to even try. like after some meals im just glued to my bed and wont get up for hours.

i was gonna add more to this, but truly i already feel sick thinking about it. i didnt think just writing about it would make my cravings kick in so bad.

either way, im going to keep going, till im pleased with my weight i guess. my psychologist recommended me to an eating disorder therapist. i hate the idea of recovery, but just having someone to talk to will be nice i guess. maybe it’ll hep me redirect the anger i feel towards my bestfriend for making me feel unheard. i hope it does. i truly love and care about her and i want to stop having these negative hateful thoughts. 

[blxetsi]

Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

ML Lies Episode Predictions:

There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)

—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.

—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry

—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh

—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!

—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!

—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!

—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy

—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!

—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)

—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind

—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.

Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!

BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):

Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”

Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”

Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting

Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly

Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”

Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own

Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her

Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???

Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc

Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth

But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust

But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees

Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette

Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??

Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???

Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)

Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”

Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized

Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,

But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”

So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret

And then multiple possible ending:

Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me

Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)

Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot

I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages

In conclusion:

—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me

—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA

—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart

Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)

[pettyprocrastination]

for the love of god please give us some austin powers!whiskey headcanons o queen of au's 😔we're just sluts for ur content

My mf babe boo lee validating this dumb au that i love so fucking much aksksks i have like two hours before all the thanksgiving stuff happens so if anybody wants to send me whiskey shit for this au DO IT!!!

warnings: uhh talk of sex and porn, foul language. theres zero organization or skill put into these i just threw ‘em out there lmao

So the general consensus of this au for those who dont know, is an austin powers au. Yes i said that. 

Jack “whiskey” Daniels is an statesmen from the 70’s who is hailed as a legend for all the lives hes saved and ploys for global terrorism he’d stopped. In his prime, he was cryogenically frozen until the statesmen would need him at a later date (reasoning behind this is vague, even whiskey himself doesnt remember why. He get flashes of distant memories and emotions around it all, but they're gone as soon as they come.)

Cut to modern time, you’re scotch. One of the best agents who’s known for getting the job done with little to no issues, but not known to be a socializer. You are tasked as agent whiskey’s new partner as he is unfrozen and helping him adapt to the new world. 

Now lets get into the fun stuff

With adapting to the new world, you had to teach whiskey about the internet and my god was that tiring. 

He still doesn't get the point of dating apps. “I don’t need a little device to help me get laid, i do just fine with my charms and southern hospitality.” you're pretty sure he only says that because he cant figure out how the fuck to use tinder but you let it go. 

Whiskey hates porn. Like DESPISES it. This is something he decided to tell you with an “urgent” phone call at three in the fucking morning. 

“She’s faking! Thayer all faking!! What’s the point if she doesn’t enjoy it? It’s all a lie! This poor woman looks like she’s in pain!! They’ve made sex a production!! What has this world come to!?!”

You hang up and go back to sleep. 

But yeah whiskey hates it. It’s all fake and over the top and just...not what he thinks sex should be. 

To him sex isn’t a production or a race. It’s a celebration of attraction between consenting adults.  

He enjoys the ametur made stuff, where there’s legitimate attraction between those involved

This doesn't mean he’s vanilla in anyway, he just hates that porn isnt really...sex. Its not mutual pleasure, its all jarring categories, fake moaning and very sexist foundation. 

Once he finds the animal video part of the internet? Oh he’s as good as gone. He thin begins to send you links to videos' showcasing friendships between unlikely pairs, such as a sea lion and a horse, or a monkey and a ferret. You don’t tell him that you watch them all late at night when you cant sleep.

He fucking loves nature documentaries. Especially deep sea ones, focusing on fish that light up or are see-through and shit like that. 

If you watch them with him you admit its...kind of adorable. Like seeing a kid all wide-eyed at the aquarium. 

“You know what’d make this really interesting??”

“We aren’t doing lsd while watching blue planet, stop asking me that.”

He’s done drugs, like, a lot back in the day. Statesmen is stricter now, with regular mandatory drug tests so whiskey cant go out, partying like a madman and taking whatever he pleases. 

Whiskey is bisexual . As is basically everybody i write so when you tell him same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states he legit tears up. 

“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” hes so overjoyed at the news. He knows there's still a long way to go but seeing that, something he’d only dreamed and fantasize about while drawing shapes on the chest of his lover? Oh it makes his heart soar. 

Whiskey is a man with brazen sexuality but of course aware of boundaries. First day you met him you turned down his advances, he accepted this and then decided to latch on as your best friend AND wingman! :D

You cannot escape this fate you're stuck with him now. 

Anytime you go out to a bar he scouts for potential suitors. “How about the blonde at the counter, they're your style!” and before you can tell him NO he’s already swaggering over and chatting you up to them. 

Whiskey, although you hate to say it, is a charming man. Hes kind and suave and will sing the praises of somebody hed only just met and have them melting in a puddle right in front of him. It’s annoying really. You have to listen to all the women at work swoon over him and talk about how youre soooo lucky to be working with him. He must be such a dream in the field. What's it like?

You plainly tell them that the other day you saw him get stuck in a revolving door and he asked for your help.

To get out

Of a door. 

You will NEVER admit this to him but when you were a green agent?? Just starting out?? You had a major crush on the legendary agent whiskey. You’d only seen the photos and heard the stories but god you thought he was amazing. 

Then you became a skilled agent yourself (perhaps also talented with a whip and lasso) and finally met the man himself when he was unfrozen. 

Whiskey calls you “little filly” and will make jokes about how you need to respect your elders. You know since he’s technically like 89 years old lmao. 

Whiskey hates that women gotta shave, he thinks you should do it if you want but the societal pressure of it? He hates it. 

And lets be real, he’s a man of the 70’s so he fucking worships bush. (the pussy not the president) (i have a lot of thoughts on this)

He can and will go down for hours on end, almost selfish with it because he gets as much pleasure from it as you. Pressing kisses and nips on your thighs, mumbling praise against you, homeboy gets straight up pussy drunk and doesn’t know how to speak coherent sentences anymore. 

He’s a cuddler. Even before you started dating he was just very affectionate and touchy. You once had to sleep together for warmth on a mission where you were stuck in the middle of nowhere during winter and he nuzzled and cuddled you all night long with a dazed smile. (he’s also your own personal space heater so that’s nice)

You thought you were over the hype and worship of agent whiskey,and you are, but when you get to know him as a friend and not an agent. As Jack, the fool who cuddles and tries to pair you up and sings out of key while cooking? God help you, your heart starts beating when you see his dimples and big goofy smile and all you can think is. “Oh fuck.”

anyways i reall y love this au and have many thoughts please sedn requests or hcs or anything you want me to expand on <3

[helmarok]

more james hcs guys i know everyone loves me and my headcanons cuz im awesome and amazing

idk if i said this last time but he does have OCD. everywhere he goes he brings a mini hand sanitizer container. one big issue he has is that if they don't get to finish their motto, it eats at him the rest of the day.

he has a poison blood type (something i might have to expand on in a different post one day), which means he has a godly immune system and a naturally high immunity to poisons, even those that are fatal to the average person.

his parents are georgio and eliza morgante. yes i know its a play on the name morgan to make it italian and its funny for that. anyways jojo fans if youre reading this i named him giorgio as a joke too. moving on, they own a tech company called morgantech cuz im good at naming and theyre rich for it. nobody knows james is the son of elon musk and grimes cuz they thought he was a failure of a son so they never made him public.

some of his stims include hand flapping, rocking, whistling, humming, singing, leg bouncing, and sucking on candy, which he somehow has handfulls of at all times

they also listen to music a lot. they like upbeat songs, pop, and stupid love songs. whatever the pokemon equivalent of glass animals is, well thats their favorite artists all time. they HATE classical music and certain classical songs are a goddamn trigger cuz his stupid bitch parents and their rich old southern aesthetic

on the music thing, they always have headphones with them cuz otherwise theyd deal with a shit ton of sensory overload

him and meowth are besties that talk about their feelings with eachother at 3am while jessie and wobbuffet snore obnoxiously loud in the other room

theyre booksmart yeah but if it has anything to do with math theyve already accepted defeat

ok actually in the last post i said they ran away at 15 but i changed it to 17 cuz the gap between then and joining team rocket was way too big and annoying to put together

they sleep in a LOT

they like writing. not books or anything but more like poems, which isnt much of a hc cuz he said so in that one oak episode. they also have a little diary like a stupid nerd.

loves sweet tea

one of their hyperfixations is old cartoons they were never allowed to watch as a kid, and they sit down and watch it with everyone and is the happiest loser alive

maybe ill do a quick indigo hearts bit too cuz i oughta do that sometime i guess

in my au that takes place a while after journeys, theyre 37. they live in da treehouse with jessie, jaime, meowth, wobbuffet, and all the other pokemon including bewear. irrelevant to anything but they've won alola's first coordinator contest thing. their pokemon team for the events in kanto is growlie (now an arcanine), hidoide, mime jr, and carnivine, though growlie is less so on the team and more like a ride pokemon that stays out of its pokeball. basically hes gay married with jessie and theyre all on a vacation in kanto with the twerps for ash's retry at the indigo league. hes like family to them anyways, all the twerps are. their friendship with brock is especially strong for many reasons, one of them being that brock also lives in alola and works at the pokemon center, and because of his close distance him and james often have lunch together and talk about nice things.

i do have more feel free to ask me cuz im always willing to go off due to being mentally deranged. thanks for watching and be sure to click that subscribe button cuz only 10% of people who watch my videos are subscribed. your mom your mom your mom and did i mention your mom

[endcant]

aimless musings on subgenre, citypop, and internet subcultures

theres something very interesting about watching citypop become very mainstream in korea and watching that feed back into both western listeners’ opinions and also into the sometimes-cynical efforts of a variety of kpop producers

a lot of people in the youtube/kpop sphere talk about the growth of citypop as if it were a spontaneous wave that appeared out of nowhere with mariya takeuchi’s plastic love getting picked up by the youtube algorithm in like 2018 or whatever, but thats a very like online-ignorant view of the interaction between vintage japanese music and worldwide online EDM production. citypop has been used in future funk and vaporwave for almost a decade by now, and, as a result, a number of citypop songs took off on social media here and there before plastic love’s acceleration— dress down by kaworu akimoto is one of the big examples off the top of my head, but there’s likely many many more.

“Plastic Love” by Mariya Takeuchi (1984). if you haven’t heard this yet, you’d better listen to it now. The video that first went viral was uploaded in 2017

“Selfish High Heels” by Yung Bae, Macross 82-99, and Harrison (2014) is a popular Future Funk remixes of Dress Down by Kaoru Akimoto (1986)

people who haven’t been very aesthetically literate online over the years— musically or visually, since those things are tied in subcultures— treat things like they come from nowhere. there are ongoing subcultural conversations that lead to certain aesthetic choices, and when someone tries to cash in on a trend without understanding what the trend is, that leads people to call bullshit. calling bullshit is not meanspirited, in my opinion, because it very much is like somebody who can’t speak a language getting up in front of everybody and saying “hey, i’m fluent!” and then speaking some vaguely that-language-sounding nonsense. of course people who genuinely speak that language will be outraged instinctively. it feels like being mocked.

that’s why the difference between music producers picking up on a trend cynically and music producers picking up on a trend with earnest interest in that trend’s origins feels different, even if the producers are similarly distant from the original subculture that produced that trend.

“Lady” by Yubin (2018) committed hard to the 80s JP citypop aesthetic, musically and visually, down to the sets, all fairly early in the major resurgence.

i’m sure that anyone with a passing familiarity with citypop and kpop can ascertain that not all kpop producers know what citypop is and what makes it citypop. all they know is that it is on-trend and they have to make it. not all kpop listeners know what citypop is and what makes it citypop. all they know is their idol said citypop as a buzzword in their little prepared statement. all this results in some interesting moments for me as a Music Fan, Online.

here is where i get to the thing that spurred this post: loona “did a citypop” for their japanese comeback. it doesnt sound like citypop.

“Hula Hoop (Citypop Version)” by Loona (2021). It has very odd percussion rhythms and mixing for citypop, no real attempt at a citypop verse, and strangely sparse gestures towards citypop in the form of a few seconds of bass and some synthesized orchestral embellishments that were taken from the original mix …all in spite of a very disco-inspired melody that should have worked perfectly for citypop

this is not a very big deal, and im not mad about it or anything. when a kpop act i like gets saddled with an unfortunate B-Side track i dont tend to take it very hard. however, it did raise a little bit of musical discourse in the loona fandom— in the form of remixes.

“hula hoop if it was actually a citypop song” by loonahatetwinks and Olivia Soul on youtube. this one has an original instrumental that is spot-on for contemporary k-citypop

My most favorite one of these remixes is a futurefunk remix by ZSunder, one of the very best LOONA fan producers. The fact that ZSunder thought to make a future funk remix at all speaks more to an understanding of the mutually supportive relationship between citypop and EDM genres than most kpop citypop producers or fanmixers seem to care to know about.

“Hula Hoop (Future Funk Mix)” by ZSunder is futurefunk made and mixed with such love that it has the infectious summery energy of a polished, big-name future funk hit

in the comments of this video, some people seemed to get the citypop-future funk connection and some didnt. many did get it, don’t get me wrong! but also, its not all that surprising for some kpop-focused listeners to not know much about EDM subcultures and the reasons behind various trends among producers, since kpop as an institution tends to take influences from any genre and culture it likes and then decontextualize those influences by just having their names used as buzzwords in the blurbs the idols have to recite when variety show hosts ask them about their latest single. this isn’t a criticism of the genre or the fans really, it’s just a part of the kpop industry that is used to add shine to an endless firehose-like stream of polished pop tracks. there are some issues with using whole genres and subcultures with complex histories as buzzwords, but god help us if we ever want a pop industry to give its influences their dues.

anyway, the intention behind ZSunder’s future funk Hula Hoop remix happened to remind me me of why i love Yukika’s discography so much, especially the Soul Lady album. I’ve seen some reviews online baffled by parts of Soul Lady, because the album in general is an exploration of that relationship between citypop and modern/internet EDM. i’ve seen plenty of Soul Lady reviews especially baffled by pit-a-pet, saying something along the lines of “what’s with the modern-sounding dance track in the middle of a retro album?”, but i think that pit-a-pet is a futurefunk-inspired track, at least in the chorus. considering both that and the Chill Lo-Fi Interludes, it seems like estimate’s team put together Soul Lady for Yukika in a way that shows that they love citypop and understand the online-specific electronic music subcultures that led to citypop’s resurgence.

“pit-a-pet” by Yukika (2020). the stacatto, bass heavy chorus is futurefunk enough, but the soaring orchestral part in the final chorus seals the deal for my interpretation.

“All Flights Are Delayed (1 hour version)” by Yukika (2020). Estimate literally released an hour-long youtube mix of one of the Lo-Fi interludes on Soul Lady as part of their promotion, clearly inspired by “Lo-Fi anime beats to chill out to,” which is another example of online producers from around the world using Japanese samples as a focal point of their music

Estimate, in the end, is still a Kpop production company, just the same as BBC, so they have no inherent claim over citypop, but the way that their exploration of subgenres clearly comes from passion and interest on the part of their production staff makes it so that their work with Yukika rings true. on the other hand, i really appreciate Ryan S. Jhun’s work on LOONA’s JP comeback, as well as on Not Friends, but the citypop mix thing was so clearly an afterthought to the point where fans of Loona who like citypop seem mostly just irritated by the cynical-seeming attempt.

heres one last good modern kpop citypop MV that has nods to the internet culture that led to its revival in the form of the videography— vaporwave, future funk, lofi, and other internet genres along those lines tend to have videos consisting of looping anime and vhs clips. future funk in particular is known for this, especially since a lot of future funk music, esp early future funk, is just loops of very short, catchy segments of citypop and disco songs. it’s all about the loops

“My Type” by Yoon JongShin ft. Miyu Takeuchi (2019). This song is so dedicated to the retro JP citypop sound that it’s almost beyond my personal taste. The singer, Miyu, was a headlining act at a seoul citypop festival and sang this song as part of her act (:

this video of “Only One” by Conscious Thoughts (2015) has a looped clip as an example for comparison with My Type. it also has a pulsing sidechain compressor working in time with its drum beat in a way that is common for future funk and that i think is a good example for my pit-a-pet yukika comparison to future funk

i guess the takeaway here is that media is more and more online, and the creation and propagation of digital audio and video content has been in the hands of literally almost anybody who wants to do it for the past two decades thanks to garage band and fruityloops and audacity and tiktok and youtube and bandcamp and soundcloud and myspace and newgrounds and p2p file sharing and so on and so forth. and therefore like… as with all things, the consumer class more and more is also the creator class, and therefore every member of an audio-visual subculture will have the ability to discern what is and isnt made with knowledge of the audio-visual language of that subculture

[blissfulparker]

Seasick→P.P pt.2

Parings→ peter Parker x reader

Warnings→slowburn, fake dating, fluff

Summary→when you lie to your mom about having a boyfriend before vactation peter steps in to help. But being in a fake relationship isnt as easy as you thought. especially not easy when you two have feelings for one another. 

A/n→ here is part two of seasick! @spectacularlyspidey made me this lovely moodboard, I love Ren 🥰 I hope you guys enjoy it and I’m going to try and post it more often if that is what you guys want💗

Toothbrush, Peter, you need your toothbrush.” May helps him pack. She seemed more excited than peter. Peter placed his clothes into bens old suitcase as if it was a chore. Hes scared, beyond scared. What if your family hates him, what if they think hes less of what they expected, what if they catch on? All the ideas and scenarios ran through his head.

“May, i've got it. I'm 19 not 14.” he reminded her and she pouted. She knew the whole plane, he had nothing to hide from her Anyways.

“You know that you can still say no.” she comes over to run a hand through Peter's hair. She knew when Peter had a crush, she always did. Although normally he'd get scared of going on a field trip with one or a study date, never a summer vacation.

“She needs me to do this. I told her i would and were setting boundaries on the plane so when we get there its not weird.” he told her and she hummed.

“I know you really like her, like more than a friend. I have a tingle too.” she teases and peter scrunches his face. “But think this can be a start, you maybe could start something here.” she kisses his forehead before leaving him in his rom to finish packing. He looks over at his phone to see the time, he sees how you’ll be at his house soon and picking him up for the airport. The airport where you'd meet your family in Florida where you’d go out to sea.

He shuts the suitcase and listens to the sound of it zipping up before flopping on his bed letting the time run out.

-

8 hours, it was an 8 hour flight filled with anxiety and fear. You had both agreed on a list. A list of things to do around your family

-forehead kisses are allowed(kisses on the lips not necessary unless needed)

-holding hands as often as we can

-snuggling up to one another

-going places together like the pool or restaurant

-pet names

-make up stories about each other

-hands always on one another

That was about it. That's all you two had to do and you'd keep it up for a week. Then when the two of you get home things go back to normal. Normal. That word hurt peters ears. Normal meant there were no real feelings and he'd have to let go of you.

“I-i can hold your bags.” he offered as you two got off the plane. He wore his Columbia hoodie with sweats, probably not the best option for landing in Florida but he was so nervous.

You give him a warm smile and nod. You were nervous too, for almost all the same reasons as peter. You wished you could have just taken ned, ned or another friend who was just seen as your friend. Someone you didn't have to think so much about kissing. Someone you didn't have to think about pretending to hold. Someone you didn't have to worry catching feelings for.

“Wait,” you stop him and he looks at you with soft eyes. “My mom is really....touchy. She loves hugging and she might kiss your cheek. It’s nothing to intentionally make you uncomfortable but i'm really sorry in advance.” you warn him.

He nods as from a distance your mom shouts your name. She's wearing a sundress and sandals, ready for a vacation. Your dad is next to her smiling ready to hug you, now he knew it was real. All of it was now real. If your mom and dad intimidated him he was scared to see the rest of your family.

“Oh sweetheart i've missed you so much, ugh New York is such a small yet big state. We wished college did hog you so much.” she kisses your cheeks.

“Mom, dad, this is my boyfriend...Peter, the one I've been telling you about.” you hold his arm and he's already smiling and going in to shake hands. Your mom takes him for a hug and gets pink lipgloss on his cheek.

He sees how much you look like her, the hair, the eyes, the smile that's so contagious, but the personalities are completely different. She was bubbly and happy all over the place while you, you were a little more reserved and only showed the good side to your friends. Save the best parts of you for the best people.

“Ugh i was starting to think she'd never get one, especially not one so handsome and smart.” she holds his arms giving them a squeeze. “Wow he works out too you can really tell.” You quickly take him back before he gets uncomfortable.

“Mom…” you warn and she scoffs.

“Sweetheart, you know I'm teasing. Your sisters are already boarded and waiting so we can leave when you two are ready.” sisters. You never told him about sisters. He didn't even know you had any siblings. He thought you were always an only child. You never talked about any siblings or really family except your mom and dad and occasionally your aunt.

But he can tell by your facial expressions that you were already dreading it more than him, dredging sisters but he didn't know why. He wasn't going to push it either. By the shift in your body he knew it was best to just question when you two were alone.

He willingly followed your family into a cab where you four set off for a week of one of the hardest masks he had to put on, the mask of pretending to love you when he really did but could never tell you.

-

Never being on a cruise ship before he had no idea what to expect. His bare knowledge being the titanic—which did not help his fear of the ocean—even for the smartest kid, normally, he didn’t know much about boats. He never even considered himself to be on one, until last summer he never even thought he’d be in Europe for his senior year of highschool. That’s how he had to think of this, Europe. Semi-relaxing, regular peter, Europe. This was a once and a lifetime opportunity for him to be on a cruise with no Spider-Man activity, No stress, nothing but the sun on his skin.

“So we eat dinner at 7pm, you kids can get all settled in...maybe find yourself at the spa or the pool. Don’t be shy to order room service, ugh the boy is handsome but skinny.” Your mom comments once again. You give her eyes and a groan as you follow her down the hall to your room. “Oh please, you eat too, you're starting to lose your color.” She picks up your arm and you take it back.

He didn’t think the teasing was that bad, sure the appearance comments were too soon but he thought it was all a part of her bubbly personality. May teases all of them to eat when they’re over. May has teased all of them but always in a nice way.

When Peter dated Gwen—his ex girlfriend—last year she was the same. Always telling Peter about his appearance but he never really cared what she had to say. He just really needed someone at the time to move on from you.

“Here is your room, you kids have fun.” She hands you the card and kisses your cheek. “Wear the sundress your sister picked out, don’t be late.” She warned and walked down the hall. Only a few hours in and you wished you would’ve made some crap excuse about having a late final or actually telling the truth.

You two enter the room and Peter is shocked. It’s a gorgeous beach themed room. If he were a child he would already be jumping on the bed and touching everything. You seem to just drop your bags on the floor and immediately go to the bathroom. He leaves you be, taking in the beauty of the room, the California king bed, the wall hung T.V. The view of the ocean that made him slightly nervous but he didn’t mind. There was a dress on the bed, the sundress your mom wanted you to wear.

“Oh fuck.” You rub your face seeing that there’s the one bed. You thought maybe she’d at least use some sense and get two beds, that or a two roomed hotel. “I’m sorry pete, I thought she would maybe get us two rooms or—“

Another thing he seemed to notice was how money didn’t seem to be an issue for your family yet you never seemed to come off as well off. You lived in a small apartment like peter, your clothes were mostly thrifted or old, you ate ramen about three times a week and if it wasn’t that it was cheap pizza. Just like the rest of the group. You never came off as rich, it shocked him to even hear about a cruise, it shocked him even more that you could just say about how they could’ve gotten two rooms on a ship.

“It’s a California king,” he gestures. “We’ll fit without touching each other.” He calms you with a soft smile seeing how stressed you were.

“You’re not too scared of ships are you?” You ask him remembering how he said something about being afraid of the water.

“Well...Uh...no but yes, it makes me nervous but—“ your hand places itself over peters for comfort and he freezes up. You notice and quickly take your hand away.

“It won’t feel like anything trust me, you don’t feel the ship rock or anything. It’s not the titanic.” You reminded him as you picked up your phone and looked at the time. You two had plenty of time to get yourself ready.

“So….” he clasp his hands together and you look over to him. “For dinner how should I act?” He questions. You’re getting comfortable in the bed already while he’s still scared to touch it.

“Just be Peter, um...maybe a hand around my shoulder at one point or hand holding? Just like our list said. Really sell it. They’re gonna ask a lot of questions of how we met and stuff like that but I can do all of them if you want.” You tell him and he nods.

“Right,” he responded thinking the best thing to do was just be peter, the peter you knew, not the peter who was totally in love with you. “Just be peter.”

And that’s all he had to do.

Permanent Taglist: @hoodiesparker @dahliaspidey​ @parkersvibes​ @itssss-a-bean @ppkrtingle @myfinalwords​ @bocaul @tinyplanet-explorers​ @sincerlyfan @softbaby-tom​ @awesomeblackcottontail​ @rosebeegraham @stormyholland​ @unicorn-princess-1999​ @spideyyypeter​ @marshyrebelcloud​ @oh-epiphany @yeahimcrying @highlydisfunctional1​ @disgustangg @pterstingle @quacksonhq @starlightparker @reblogsfics​ @tomsrebeleyebrow​ @dreamyyholland​ @imaginashawnns @imaginashawnns​@alilpunkrock​ @kthemarsian​@peterspideysenses​ @lovely-valllll​ @lowkey-holland​ @hannaholland1811 @kthemarsian @maryjane23

[themagicalmysticalboy]

John and Paul had a big argument about Brian, Paul still cant forget about Spain. It's a very cold and raining night, after very intensing session of drinking John appears under Paul's house, but Paul isnt inside...The next morning Macca finds frozen wet and limp figure curled at his doorsteps.

a/n: this has lit been in my inbox for so long and i feel awful. So sorry anon. hope you’re still around to see it <3

Three minutes. 

That’s all it took for John to have Paul fuming. When the phone rang throughout the house he had half the mind to not answer at all, figuring it would be John. But now he was stuck on the line with a drunk and poorly apologizing Lennon. In reality, he was so incoherent that Paul wasn’t even sure if there was an actual apology buried in his mumbling. On the contrary, he seemed to be blaming Paul, if anything.

“Lemme jus- I’ll come… come over, yeah.” John hiccuped through his words.

“Don’t, alright? I’d rather not deal with you now.” He almost told John he wouldn’t be home, anyway, but that wouldn’t be clever. So, he kept his lips sealed on the topic. 

“It didn’t mean a thing, Paul. Brian was just there.” He said it as if it explained everything. 

Paul pinched the bridge of his nose, his other hand tightening around the phone with a death grip. “I don’t want to hear how it happened.” His voice almost didn’t sound like his own. “I don’t want to hear you blame Brian if that’s what you’re at.” John tried to interrupt but Paul only raised his voice higher. “He doesn’t even know we were together!” Paul’s eyes widened as his mouth snapped shut. Would John catch it? Or was he too drunk to comprehend it?

Deafening silence made Paul’s heartbeat in his ears. “You said ‘were.’” John’s words came out slow and almost sober. “Were together, Macca.”

Paul swallowed down the lump in his throat, his eyes stinging with tears he wouldn’t let slip. There was no going back now. “Yes. We were together.”

He slammed the phone to the receiver just in time to clamp his hands over his mouth, holding in a sob. Rained poured down outside his window as tears slipped down his cheeks. All he could do was stare at the raging storm and wonder if there was any way to fix what was now so painfully broken. He thought of calling off his plans with Mal and just staying by the phone for another call from John. But that was pathetic. He had promised to watch the football match with Mal a week in advance. There wasn’t a good reason- or at least one he could say out loud- to cancel. There was also the issue of not being able to move. Paul seemed immobilized with sadness and fear, quiet sobs escaping him as he stared into the haze outside his window. 

He stayed by the phone for a while until a crack of thunder jolted him to life and he hurriedly wiped his cheeks free of tears. With some much-needed washing up in the bathroom, he was ready to go, wanting to leave before the storm became too much and he would be stuck in his house with only his thoughts. The idea of that terrified him into rushing through the house and hurriedly leashing Martha. She helped him in his hurry, not letting him think twice before tugging him along and to his car. 

They made it into the car, assaulted by the frigid rain, shivering. Paul cranked up the heat as soon as the car was running, rubbing at his arms. The car ride wasn’t long enough for him to get lost in his thoughts, thankfully, and when he arrived at Mal’s the man kept them busy with snacks and other guests and drinks. Paul easily dropped into social mode and left his strife with John in the back of his mind. He knew it would rear up as soon as he was home, maybe even just in his car, but he wouldn’t ruin Mal and everyone else’s fun while he was there. 

Whether it was the knowledge of having to face his own actions or the still-raging storm keeping him, Paul didn’t leave Mal’s house until very late into the night. Mal had suggested they play a board game to sober everyone up and it drug on until almost five in the morning. The rain was at a drizzle when Paul put his car into park. 

He wanted to wait just a bit longer for it to come to a halt but Martha was wiggling around like mad, whining and pawing at his arm. He sighed, letting his forehead hit the steering wheel. “Fine,” he breathed.

She shot anxious glances between him and the door until he undid his seatbelt to lean over and pop the passenger door open. She shot out of the car and into the darkness with a happy wag in her tail the instant she could, leaving Paul to stare after her. Exhaustion mingled with dread, making him unwilling to go to his house. He sluggishly got out of the car. As he leaned back in to grab his wallet, Martha began to bark.

He dragged out a long sight, head dropping, before snapping back up and yelling out for her. She only barked louder, followed by a pained whimper. The pitiful sound shot a spike of alertness into Paul’s core. He yelled out again as he ran but the dog had gone quiet. Fear was shoving his senses into full throttle and he bolted to his doorstep.

When he finally arrived, he was struck still. The droplets of water now moved in slow motion, the biting cold a distant memory. His dread filled the void left by his other senses.

A figure was curled up on his doorstep, Martha nudging gently. With a rough nudge and a nip at the hair, the figure's head tilted into the dim porchlight. The aquiline nose and auburn hair of his John was illuminated. His mouth just barely open, eyes softly closed.

All Paul could do was stare in shock and horror. The world was thrown out of pause when a trickle of water sent a shiver down his spine. He was suddenly aware the rain had picked back up and the cold was whirled up with a nasty wind.

Words were leaving his lips but he didn't know what he was saying or why he was talking. All he knew was that he had to get John inside. Martha, bless her, was ahead of Paul, biting on to John’s collar and pulling him towards the door.

In a flurry of movement, the door was thrown open and John was dragged across the threshold. With a deep huff of breath, Paul lifted John into his arms. “John? Johnny, come on, please!”

He continued to plead as he rushed to the nearest couch. Once laid out, John let out a groan before curling into a ball again. He was shivering like mad, nearly vibrating off the couch. 

“Hey, you’re alright,” Paul cooed softly as he stripped John of his soaking wet clothes. “Can you talk to me?”

“Where- wherewereyou.” His words rushed together in an airy gust before his teeth began to chatter.

Snatching up every blanket in eyesight, Paul wrapped him up into a tight bundle. “Do you need an ambulance? Should I call-”

“‘S fine.” His eyes cautiously opened, lulling around the room until they found Paul. “Where were you?”

“I’m phoning the ambulance,” Paul decided. He moved to leave John’s side but felt a strangely strong grip pull him back. He fell onto the cushion, sitting by John’s hip.

“I’m fine.” The words came out with a startling levelness, only to be followed by more chattering of his teeth.

Paul studied him, their eyes locked in battle. With a hum, Paul narrowed his gaze, “I’m getting you a warm washcloth.”

“Alright.”

Once a basin of hot water was filled and the fire was lit, Paul began his nursing. He fused over John as neither man uttered a word. Grabbing more covers and some pillows, Paul tucked him in tight and lifted his head to put down the pillows. All the while, Martha sat wearily at John’s feet.

Now thoroughly bundled, he ran fingertips along John’s temple and down to his jaw. “Sure you're alright?”

“I waited for you,” John said with malice, only to be betrayed by a faltering voice. Paul had not noticed the lingering smell of alcohol on his breath until just then. He was obviously no longer drunk, only sad and cold, but it must have taken a lot to pass out in the freezing storm.

“I was a Mal’s, love. Do you want a cup of tea? Or I could run a ba-”

“Stop!” John pushed at his mountain of covers and forced himself upright. “Get-” 

Paul grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him only to be pushed away. They both tumbled from the couch, hitting the hardwood with two distinct thuds. Martha let out a bark but didn’t move. 

Paul made to speak but as soon as he opened his mouth, John spat out, “Shut your bleeding trap and listen to me.”

His mouth was still hung open so he snapped it shut and gulped through a strained throat. John’s eyes danced viciously between his.

“I’m sorry! Alright? I’m sorry and I know I can never take it back but I am. I-” Tears were welling in his eyes. “It was so stupid. Stupid of me to try to shift the blame. Stupid of me to do it at all. But,” John’s hands were in his damp hair, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I love you.”

 John was breathing hard and Paul felt he wasn't breathing at all. There was a delicate sheet of glass creeping between them. A single mistake could shatter it to the ground and leave them bleeding. 

Much softer, slower, and steadier, John said, “You don’t have to forgive me. I don’t deserve it. Sure as hell don’t deserve you.” When Paul didn’t respond, John continued. “I was drunk when I came. Was quite intent on telling you off- maybe break a vase or two.” Paul huffed a pained laugh. “But I’m sober as I can be now. I just want you to… You should know how much I mean it when I say that I’m sorry. If you don’t want me any longer, that’s fine.”

The sheet of glass dissolved on the spot, melting into the wood and warming the space. There was a vague awareness of the short bursts of nervous laughter leaving his lips. All he could do was stare at the half-naked man on his floor that had just poured his heart out. He had no clue how much the thought of them being over had weighed on him until the moment the worry lifted away. Gathering himself for the sake of the confused Lennon, Paul scooted towards him and threw a cover over his shoulders. Biting hard on his own lip, Paul cupped John’s face with both hands. 

“You’re the stupidest man I have ever met.” He smiled with all the sincerity and adoration in his body.

“I’m what?”

Paul laughed again, nerves completely drained from it, his hands moving to John’s shoulder and head falling into his chest. He breathed in the man, pulling him between his legs to hug him tightly. His skin was still cold, his body still trembling. “First of all, that’s all you had to ever say. Second, I’m just glad you didn’t kill yourself in the cold.”

John nuzzled his nose into the crook of Paul’s neck. “I’m slightly offended that me not dying was your second point.”

Paul only held him closer. “I hate you so much. But you’ll always be the love of my life.”

[ectora]

REVIEW 311

Screen time

Macy : 23m26s

Maggie : 20m07s

Mel : 18m25s

Harry : 13m20s

Abigael : 5m02s

Jordan : 4m28s

Here is a table with the details of the time shared

Opinions

In a general manner I enjoyed the episode. It was entertaining and well passed. I don’t think it was their strongest episode so far but it was an entertaining one. It finally started to connect the other characters to the main storyline but also felt almost like a filler for the sisters. I also think the show should have maybe showed more consequences and different good things for the sisters. Because except for Mel (and I’ll come back to that later), the good things that happened to Maggie and Macy are pretty normal. It’s not like Maggie didn’t work for that internship. It’s not like a free legal clinic would get bad press. Or that it can’t happen to be upgraded in a hotel. Like yes what happened to antonio and that old man was really bad but at the same time it just didn’t feel like the sisters were gaining that much from it. Maybe if they had sticked to only it being the consequences of what they had to do to get the allergy off or something, rather than good things that could have normally happened, happening. I’m not sure that nakes sense but well lmao

Positive points:

The perfecti. They’re actually really entertaining on screens and are just funny. I think they were a great idea and a good addition to the story. And I’m genuinely excited to see more of them and how they’re story is going to unfold.

Josefina getting her powers. I’m glad they ended up giving her her powers with “wakening spell” similar to the one the sisters needed when they became witches. I really like her powers as well it’s so fitting.

Macy smiling. I have my issues with how the whole thing happened and I’ll take about it later but I’m glad she was finally able to catch a break. The show is often giving her storylines without a lot of time for her to just breath and I’m glad she finally got the opportunity to do so.

Abigael and Jordan. Listen, I just have a soft spot for their friendship. I just enjoy watching them. Tbh they both have easy chemistry with everyone but these two together just gives me good vibes. I just like them together on screen. I also liked how absolutely soft he was with her. And how she easily recognise his qualities. I just love them individually and together.

Maggie finally getting some therapy. I’m glad they’re finally giving that to her. Now can they extend that to like ... literally every single one of their main characters cause they all need it.

Josefina and Mel. As always their scene were really enjoyable. I think it’s always nice to see Mel show other people magic isn’t their only power. And I like how it shows how understanding and empathetic Mel really can be.

Mel and Maggie. Once again, their bond is so sweet and feels very natural. I just love seeing them share normal sisterly moments.

Negative points :

those are only going to be the actual negative points I have. Others that are more like annoyance, I’ll put them with the remarks.

Ruby. I’m just tired of this show giving zero effort to that relationship. I’m a big time abimel shipper but the treatment they give melby is just disrespectful at this point. They had one little moment where they said “oh she isn’t here” and then that’s it. Not even pretending to be on the phone. Or a text message. Nada. This needs to be fixed. Either get on it or get rid of it. But enough. Especially when you compare it to how they treat the straights.

Abigael’s story. Apparently some people don’t make the connexion with self harm, but to me said connexion is pretty obvious. More and more obvious especially after last episode where they showed us Abigael hurting herself directly. It was graphic and kinda unnecessary imo. I think the story itself, of having Abigael’s sides fight each other is interesting but the way they approached it was very careless and if they continue being so adamant about showing us how broken abi is, they need to actually be careful how they handle this.

Things that just don’t make sense:

Did no one tell Maggie about Jordan being cured ? I’m so confused 😭

Mel. Again, is no one ever going to talk about the fact she never finished her phd in season 1 ? Or didn’t have any teaching experience. I know it’s a small things that’s probably never going to be brought up but it’s been nagging me djdhd

At the end of the episode when they go back to putting the egg, suddenly the air isn’t toxic anymore and it’s small but i realised right away and just haven’t been able to get it out of my head.

Same with Josefina and the book. Mel was right there. Couldn’t she have taken it ? 😭

Why did Harry and Macy took the portal to Paris ? Why just not orb.

I’m still confused by the whole demon trying to kill the witch side of Abby to be honest. Like I’m not sure how hurting her physical body is going to do anything ? Isnt her demon part gonna die too then ? Parker’s made more sense because it was like a sickness, you could say the magical cells were killing he humans ones or something. But here ? I’m confused.

Talking about demon abi, ... why this ugly ass dress. I understand the reason for different noticeable clothes but why does it need to be this ugly. Abigael Jameson-Caine is too fashionable for this.

The entire book of shadow thing like ? Did we just forgot Mel presented the book to Josefina the episode before ? Are we just erasing that from our memories ? What’s happening.

How they gonna freeze the therapist and then just leave a note like is she not supposed to unfreeze ? Maggie is just gonna be gone ? And with a sudden note on her laps ? What.

Remarks & speculations

Hacy. I don’t dislike the couple don’t get me wrong. I think they’re sweet. But the show focuses too much on that relationship. Macy barely feels like she has a story outside of it at this point. At least Harry has the whole white lighter thing but again the reason he wants to be mortal is Macy so ... if just feels like the show continues to centre these two characters toward each other first. However it was great to see Macy happy. But again like The sisters had one hug and then that was if.

I’m really sad we didn’t actually see Macy and Josefina interact. Or that we won’t see her reach them a bit more about her magic and the whole new side they don’t know about.

My babies in the tomb. I’m just really wondering what the deal with the perfecti. Are they so big on duality, good and bad that it’s to an extreme that is dangerous ? Abigael in some ways I can understand. She’s the demon overlord. She’s powerful. Her demon form tried to go after TCO. But Jordan ? Was he just a collateral damage ? Did they judge him bad because he was with abi ? Because he was cursed ? Or is it a plan they have that involved isolating TCO ? (I doubt it but still a possibility). I mean he was probably out there cause he was helping abi but then it being strong questions about the perfecti’s moralities and visions of the world. Cannot wait to see more.

Abigael was ... broken to say the least. Kudo to poppy for that, Abigael looked absolutely exhausted. You could feel the fear and exhaustion in everything she did. And I feel bad for her because she’s not only mentally exhausted but physically too. She can’t sleep safely. And I don’t know if everyone realised the level all this must have reached for Abigael to be ready to give up everything. Because she is different from the sisters on this, she grew up as a magical being. That has been her entire life. What has been defining her since birth. For her to be so ready to give everything up so she could finally just find some peace ... she’s literally at her limits.

Talking about abi. We know the sisters are gonna try to help Jordan in episode 13 but does that mean they don’t realise Jordan is gone until then ? So it’s easy to assume 312 will also have abi/jordy mostly and in the tomb. Speculations - if the synopsis of 312 is indeed about saving Jordan from the tomb and not something else - is that they’ll realise on site than Abigael is stuck too and will help her as well. Unless she does something good to help jordan and because of that they decided to get her out too. That could connect both story and have a start on the redemption.

Also while abi is gone are the demons just gonna wait around ? Like the fact they all just willingly followed her rules doesn’t seem realistic but even less when the girl is no where to be found.

I just want Mel to get a proper storyline. And Macy too. Maggie I feel is actually the best written one development wise out of all of them.

I think they brought the storyline of Harry being worried about his age and waiting to be mortal too early. He has a good ten years on Macy anyway. And they barely started dating. There are already a lot of things going on and I genuinely feel like they should have left that for next season at least.

Highlights

Maggie in therapy. “You seem like you have a lot of demons” “are you under a lot of stress” was genuinely funny. Maggie is so naturally funny I really love her for it.

Mel saying there isn’t another shoe to drop and demon Abigael saying hold me beer.

The dogs that does math. Don’t ask me why it’s just funny.

Josefina using her powers after realising she still has them

Macy’s face when Harry told her about becoming mortal as if he isn’t constantly talking about it djdhd

Abigael’s soft “jordy”

Celebrating later, running now

The entire witch ceremony at the end.

[pocmuzings]

hello hi , it is g , ur friendly local neighbourhood hindu indian ( as in south asian  ) ! so a few people requested that i just make a guide-esque sorta thing on hindu  indian characters ! im not really good at guides , so instead , these are just little things i’ve noticed or picked up on that could really potentially strengthen the next indian character u ( pretty please ! ) pick up ! 

disclaimer : i am writing this from my perspective and it is NOT definitive , nor do i speak on behalf of all hindu indians  ! i am a 23-year-old bisexual cis female hindu indian , with one older gay brother, and a Train Wreck middle brother . my mother is from new delhi , and my father is from nairobi but has indian heritage ( not sure which part of india bc he’s an Engima ) . i have extended family in india and have visited india about 10-15 times throughout my entire life .

so firstly , im so glad u all are here and want to write more hindu indian characters ! please please do so !  i hope this helps , encourages u , and isnt too confusing !! 

psa : i need everyone to know that this is a very basic ‘ guide ‘ and theres a lot it DOESNT touch on or address bc i didnt want to get too Extensive and Detailed and have people Turn off and not Read it . this is just written in the terms of hopefully helping build  character / be relevant to characters a bit better that ive employed into writing my OWN hindu indian character creations !  but if u have any other questions pls reach out to me or any other indians in the rpc and im sure we’ll try our best to assist u !

FCS: 

one thing i’d really like to say is that its great to see fcs like dev patel  , deepika padukone and avan jogia picked up every now and then in rps , but there’s actually a LOT of other indian fcs you could be and should be using ! the main reason people don’t seem to know them is because they’re not ‘ hollywood ‘ stars per se ( it was a super big deal when pr*yanka broke out of bollywood and into bollywood but we don’t talk about her on this Blog ) . they’re usually bollywood stars and i don’t really see bollywood discussed that much in the rpc ! 

if you’re after MORE indian fcs , i have a tag of indian females here , and indian males here . the fcs on my blogs are also not ALL that exist . there are plenty of other blogs out there that post indian fcs , such as sonamhelps &  bollymusings !!! there’s also some really great faceclaim directories out there that include a LOT of indians with resources !

 unfortunately , i do not know of any trans indians or nonbinary indians but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist . indian cultures and beliefs are still quite Old School and not super progressive . india only just had it’s first wlw mainstream bollywood film released last year . lgbtqia+ issues are NOT really spoken about in india or within indian families at ALL , and if they are - they’re usually dismissed or reacted to Very Very Badly . ( again this isnt definitive and im sure and hopeful that some indians have had GREAT coming out stories and been accepted by their families but this has not been a common thing ive seen or witnessed from my cousins my age , indian friends , myself and my brother who are lgbtqia +  ) 

FOOD : 

we do eat with our hands and we eat like PROS with our hands . we can shovel it so easily and quickly . i don’t know how to describe it but you use the first three fingers of your hand to place the Food there , and then use your thumb to kinda scoop it off and into your mouth . this is NOT unhygienic because indians wash their hands very regularly and most of the time we aren’t actually touching our mouths to our hands ! 

indian food is MADE to be eaten with your hands for the most part . it is literally NOT practical to eat food with a knife and fork . here’s a really great article explaining things more in depth re: indian food and using our hands !

cows are seen as Very holy beings in hindu indian culture , and for that reason - there isn’t a lot of beef being eaten or consumed. sure , some indians DO eat beef but i don’t think its super common, but in my personal experience as a non-beef-eater this results in A LOT of me asking ‘ oh ,  sorry what sauce does that pasta come with ? ‘ ‘ oh those are beef sausages ? sorry i can’t eat them ‘ etc etc . beef is in a LOT of things , and this makes me very very careful and almost pedantic about what i do eat and ask about , food wise  !

indian food is seen as stinky by a majority of white people . it has a very very strong smell as im sure u know , and opening ur lunch box as a little kid to a Curry or Dal ur mum has made u ? one way street to being bullied . i also remember a time a real estate agent continuously told my dad nobody was interested in buying our house bc it smelled too much like curry,  despite my mum not having cooked curry in Weeks ( just say what u Really mean ,  bitch ! )

 indian curry exists but so does dal / daal . this is curry-like dish that is usually made out of lentils . so if ur going to talk about indian food and u know curries and samosas . . pls also bring up dals . and sabji ! ( sabji is usually just boiled vegetables plopped together . a lot of potato usually )

desserts are what we call Indian Sweets  . this is stuff that is usually very VERY sugary and a bit of an accustomed taste . theyre very colourful and LOOK beautiful but even i , for one , can not eat many indian sweets bc they are a Lot of Sweet and Sugar    . examples of indian sweets that u can google  : gulab jamun , burfi , rasgulla , jalebi etc . here’s a great link for more !

give me spiced food or give me death . literally . . put some cumin in . . put some garam masala . . put some chillies . . flavour ur Food for my Indian Taste Buds 

FAMILY : 

if you are the oldest son of an Indian Family . . congratulations . you are now the Head of the family and must carry every weight and burden alone . it is extremely isolating and taxing on you ( my dad is the oldest indian son , and also - so is my eldest brother , obvs ) . there is a LOT that is expected of you to do . you are expected to quite literally run the family and be the ‘ man of the house ‘ by yourself . 

if you are a daughter . . . even BIGGER congratulations ! you are basically a maid to every male or guest who EVER comes over to your house . you must be a Hostess , you must be in the kitchen cooking , serving snacks, bringing tea , and then washing up and basically waiting on Hand and Foot . you will not be included into a lot of dialogue or engaged in a lot of conversation and TRUST ME ! THAT WILL GRIND UR GOD DAMN GEARS IN THE 21ST CENTURY ! 

if you are a boys’ boy ( aka straight and Sporty ) , then congrats ! you get it the easiest : you are the favourite of every social event . the uncles and cousins love talking to you and dude-ing it up with you , and the aunts fawn over you and think you’re the Best Thing since sliced bread . sit back , put your feet up , and expect to be treated like a God. you can do absolutely no wrong . ( my middle brother is this to a T and listen . . he’s been in and out of jail for physical violence and ab*se for over 5 years . and family still FROTH over him . my teeth are gritted to dust thinking of this again ) 

indian aunties are lethal . they gossip like teenage girls . they will find out everything . they will bitch behind your back . they can NOT be trusted .

everyone is ur uncle or aunt, sister or brother . literally everyone . ur cousin ? no. thats ur sister . ur dads friend ? no , thats ur uncle . you will call them as such . EVERYONE is family .  

family is in general a VERY BIG THING in indian culture , too . ‘ what will it Look like to everyone else if we don’t all arrive together ? ‘ my dad usually asks dskjdfjn . it’s all about Looking Right and Standing As A United Front  . that being said , indian family has undying and unwavering loyalty for one another , they just show it in a very Weird way .

FASHION: 

female hindu indian formal  clothes are usually really embroidered to hell and back and this makes them very scratchy , uncomfortable, and HEAVY . you aren’t running anywhere anytime soon in a full blown lehenga or saree 

most ‘ modern ‘ hindu indian women do not wear full Indian Clothes all the time . some do , but usually it’s a lot of wearing a kurti tunic with jeans , or just normal everyday clothing . again , this is going to be different based on which parts of india your character is from , though ! 

usually , older women and married women  wear traditiona hindul indian clothing quite often . i know my mum wore a sari AT HOME everyday when i was growing up, until i was like 13 and took her shopping with me to get something Else to wear . 

bindi’s just stick right onto ur forehead but they do fall off a lot , especially when ur wearing makeup or sweating . again , you don’t need to wear a bindi everyday , unless thats ur preference . i usually only wear them for festivals . ( festivals means indian celebrations , not like . . coachella  ((which u should not be wearing a bindi to , if ur not indian fyi )) )

male formal clothes are usually just literally anything Formal and buttoned up for the most part , and u can get away with that , or you can wear a really nice kurta

indians wear white at funerals , not black  ( not sure if this should go in the fashion section but this entire thing is being organised into a Mess by now anyways ) . you CAN wear black to a funeral of course , but its common to wear white !

DATING ( tw’s for islamaphobia ): 

modern day indian / desi fuck boys exist and my god they are Something Else . hasan minhaj did a really good piece about this and explaining them to a T ( starts at 1:43 )

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT WILL MENTION ISLAMAPHOBIA AND HOMOPHOBIA ! ) basically according to Older  indians , ,  ur dating options  in 2020 go like this ( if ur a cis female like me ) : hindu indian men are god tier , white men are Not Okay But I Guess So Bc We Have To Accept They’re Everywhere , females / being lgbtqia+ is not Taken Seriously , and muslims are literally not even close to being an option or Accepted  . again this isn’t definitive but based on a lot of  indian media i’ve consumed and seen how they portray muslims in general as well as Dating Options , as well as talking to other indians  , both who are older / traditional and hold these ideals , whereas Younger gens generally do NOT hold these ideals  / actively are Against these backwards ideals.   i remember when i was in year 6 and had my first boyfriend . . he was a muslim and my dad FLIPPED the FUCK out  . it’s not even that i was dating someone / young / his only daughter . . it was mainly because i was dating a muslim . again , this is a very OLD SCHOOL and traditional way of thinking and it is NOT CORRECT .  pls don’t take this as a note to be islamaphobic if u write an indian character bc . . thats literally the opposite of what im trying to tell u here . 

yeah arranged marriages are definitely still a thing for us , even now in 2020

YES if u are an unmarried / single indian ( ESPECIALLY if ur a woman ) about to enter ur 30s . . ur in DANGER and u are the black sheep and theres probably something Wrong With You bc why are u still single ?

TRADITIONS / BELIEFS / SUPERSTITIONS :

idk if its just me and my family but we are SUPER superstitious . if you say anything like ‘ he hasnt gotten sick in years !’ immediately , everyone knocks on wood or their head . if you were planning on leaving the house and sneeze ? thats bad luck , stand and wait for five minutes then u can leave . we have a strong belief in drishti , or  alternatively : The Evil Eye  , and making sure we don’t invite it into our lives . a lot of our prayers are about warding drishti away .

the evil eye is kinda Complicated but basically its an ill-wishing upon an unsuspecting person . if somebody is jealous of you or angered by you , they may wish upon you or cast upon you the Evil eye ( or even just glare at u whilst ur not looking and thats Big Bad ) . 

a lot of older indians , like older people in general i guess , are not super progressive or Open . this isnt ALWAYS the case but older indians can be very very stubborn in their beliefs in what is Right and Wrong , Normal and Not Normal 

theres a LOT of hindu indian festivals and events ! tbh too many for me to even keep up with . but without fail at least once a year ill say to ONE of my friends ‘ oh sorry i cant make it . i have an indian Thing on that day ‘ and its usually about a festival , so pls be aware that there are a LOT of indian festivals and if ur writing an indian character , its perfectly understandable and Relatable for them to say they can’t make it to a party or hang out with their friends that night , for that very reason !

the main / most popular ( ? ) festivities  that i personally do celebrate every year without fail are : 

diwali ( the festival of lights , celebrating goddess lakshmi roaming the earth . in my household this is usually turning on literally every single light and lighting candles and fireworks / sparklers and saying some prayers , and eating a formal dinner all together !  )  

holi ( the festival of colours . celebrating victory and love . again personally for me , this was usually celebrated at the temple with all of us Kids running around throwing paint on each other ! ) 

rakhi / raksha bandhan ( a day of sisters celebrating their brothers . you tie a rakhi which is usually a bracelet / holy string around your brothers wrist , feed them some food , pray for their wellbeing and in return they gift you something . in my case, i usually get money from them ) .

navratri  / durga puja ( 9 nights and 10 days of celebrations but tbh u don’t have to do all the days . or i mean . . i don’t . i fast one day from morning to night and then i slide on over to boogie and dance dandiya which is literally the MOST FUN dance ever bc its based off some Historical Fight and u go faster and faster and keep going until ur absolutely SPENT bc u dont wanna lose ur place in the circle )  

there are SO MANY HINDU INDIAN GODS too . and so many prayers to all of them and to just general Life Wellness . chances are that ur character will know at least ONE aarti / gazal / prayer off by heart and have sung it at least 30 times in a monotone voice . the ones i know off by heart bc ive had to sing them 3000 times ? om jai jagdish hare , & the gayatri mantra 

GENERAL LIL THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO CATEGORISE ( tw’s for skin whitening , colorism and classism ) :

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR SKIN WHITENING AND COLORISM  ) lets hold indians accountable right now : we advertise SKIN LIGHTENING CREAM  . i think they finally stopped that earlier this year / due to BLM ( i’m not entirely sure / could be wrong ) , but thats literally how bad it is , that we would openly advertise and encourage people to literally bleach their skin rather than look darker . 

( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR COLORISM AND CLASSISM ) colorism is a BIG thing in india and usually linked to class . generally speaking , the people who are Darker Skinned are usually people who work outside / labourers or homeless even , and are therefore seen as lower class / bottom class . the lighter skin you have , the more privileged and advantaged you are bc ur seen as working a Good job out of the sun and having a home . it’s incredibly classist as well as just generally Fucked Up . why am i telling u this ? mainly so u understand the importance of using a dark skinned indian fc vs a light skinned indian fc which i know is hard , bc a lot of darker skinned indians arent in hollywood / have resources , but its still something to Think About .  

i have a long Ethnic name . literally my first name is 10+ letters , which i know doesnt seem that long Necessarily but its also a Super Ethnic name with e’s and and j and n . it Flows and Sounds very clearly different from a christian name . it is VERY important to me that my name be said Correctly because i’ve spent so much time having it said incorrectly or Westernised . i also know a lot of indians my age who ( like me ) have had to dramatically shorten their REAL first name ( which is usually also pretty long . not always , but it is Common ) , to fit their name into white people’s mouths better . please put some thought into ur indian characters name !

not all indians speak hindi ! hindi is one of MANY dialects within india . there is also tamil , urdu  , bengali , punjabi , telugu and SO many more , so pls research which part of india ur character / their family  is from bc hindi won’t always be the default language for them !

not every indian is hindu ! of course ur character doesnt have to be religious at all , bc if im being honest IM barely religious but my FAMILY is and this is smth u should think abt bc religion is a pretty big thing for indians . so even if ur character isnt hindu , they were probably raised with SOME religious beliefs . have a think about which religions they would have been brought up with ! there’s a very large percentage of practicing muslims , sikhs and buddhists too ! and even christianity !

WRITING WISE / CREATING AN INDIAN CHARACTER WISE :

the first step should be to consume indian media ! listen to indian music . watch bollywood movies ! theres SO MANY  out there on everyone’s netflix . if u want some recs , let me know and i can try my best to find smth for u ! if u want smth thats Hollywood-indian . . . Hasan Minhaj is great to watch , especially his episodes on indian culture / politics , and Never Have I Ever on netflix was rlly good / relatable for me personally as an indian growing up in a western society !

i would really really love to see more indian rep in general , but i’d also like to discuss the Stereotypes that ive seen indians portrayed as in mainstream hollywood media :

indian women as soft spoken and subservient beings who are abused by their husbands and have no say in anything 

heterosexuality within indian relationships and indian dating 

indian men as sleazy 

indians in general not being seen as Sexy or Sexual beings with any sex drive at all 

Stumbling , Stuttering , Nerdy awkward messes of men who don’t know how to interact with anybody they find sexually appealing

an indian character that everybody ( usually white ) finds Uncomfortable and Weird and is seen as usually the Butt of the joke .

 i think those mentioned above could be helpful in how to plan your next indian character and think about how to SUBVERT a trope theyre often portrayed as , or create an indian thats not stereotypical !

so what and who SHOULD you write ? 

an indian character who is proudly and openly gay , or bi 

a trans or nonbinary indian ( PLEASE ! ) 

an indian character with really super accepting parents and family 

an aromantic indian 

an indian who is focused on their career first and not their dating life 

a fuckboy / fuckgirl ( honestly . . i’d love to see it )

a indian character who is a party animal 

an outspoken indian female who takes no shit and is strong in every sense of the word

a confident , smooth talking indian businessman who is Sexy and Lusted After ( not in a gross christian grey way but just . i’d love to see indian characters seen as Sexy . not in a fetishy way , either , but just because it’d be a nice change in pace ! )

a character who IS traditional / religious but also very progressive and forward thinking in their beliefs 

honestly just any character that isnt whats mentioned above