#anyway my dad's great like genuinely
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...I think my dad might, somehow, be more of a River apologist than I am.
#he was talking about another character in something who he didn't like#and I was like 'yeah I didn't like that character either which is very strange to me because of how much I like river who isn't exactly#the best person in the world'#and he LITERALLY went 'well was [other character] raised to be a weapon? no! they just chose to be like that!#considering everything in River's background I think she turned out pretty okay it's a miracle she even got that far'#and like. yeah fair. but this was very much delivered in the sense of 'she's not THAT bad'#I mean. I agree that she THINKS she's worse than she actually is but there very much was like. murder. and breaking the universe. and theft#and using hallucinogenic substances on people. and threatening them while intending to follow through if they didn't listen to her.#but also. you know. heaven forbid women do ANYTHING lmao#anyway my dad's great like genuinely#mc13 lore
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hey, if you have arfid/any ed/any food sensitivity issues in general, do me a favor and reblog this and tell me these in the tags!: (as many or as little as you’d like - this is just for fun :))
- your current favorite safe food
- your favorite food in general
- one food that you can always manage to eat no matter what (if you have one!)
- one food that isn’t currently safe, but that you WANT to like or think you would like if you tried it
- the most recent new food that you have tried, and did you like it? (I’m so so proud of you either way!)
#I’ll go first!#my current favorite safe food is wellshire dino chicken nuggies oh my god they are SO good AND gluten free?? an actual miracle#genuinely idk what they put in that shit but it is way better than a chicken nugget has any right to be. ungodly. absolutely luxurious umami#anyways moving on 💀#my favorite food and the one food I can always eat is popcorn!#although brownies and ice cream are probably close second faves on the favorites category#one food that isn’t currently safe but that I WANT to love is stuffing :O#I think it smells great and I’ve been taking little bites of it recently whenever my dad makes it#and I enjoy the bites! I think I will rlly like it some day! but for some reason by the time I’m eating it on my plate I don’t like it#we’re working on it tho 🙏🙏 I WILL become a stuffing girly I WILL#and lastly the most recent new food I tried was a black raspberry chocolate ice cream from the place my friend works at#not that scary but still proud of myself for how casually I just took that whole bite down without being afraid!#it’s definitely not my thing but i would say it was a stress free experience#also. now that I’m thinking about it it’s kind of wild that I tried it in the first place??#like? that I WANTED to try it even after I found out it definitely wasn’t a flavor I would like?? I still just wanted the experience#that’s actually crazy wtf I didn’t think about that.#progress!!!!!#baby steps. baby steps.#tw ed#tw ed mention#gem don’t look#this is such a random post I just wanted to talk about recovery and have some community bonding yknow#we’re allll in thissss together 🕺💃🕺💃🕺
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My main criticism of the avatar live action is that it doesn't allow itself to be silly. It can be funny, but not silly and so much of the joy of the original comes from that.
#I'll be honest my best mate and i were probably being a bit too precious about it but also like#there was a lot i take genuine issue with#and it felt a lot like it was assuming it'll be cancelled after one series which like#great job netflix really created a good culture there 👍#but it didn't have the same heart as the original for me and part of that is death of the filler#despite the fact that its like practically the same length so why get rid of the filler parts???#ugh#anyway we did however like the addition of the 41st division detail that was really great#and we are but mortals we got emo over leaves on the vine ngl#but they like didn't have any flaws basically#and their dad would Not fucking say that#also like Pakku didn't notice the necklace so no Grampakku 😔#also modern tv i am BEGGING you light your dark scenes better PLEASE
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We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛
#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by#i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time#i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime#i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone#dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that#but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this#an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill#he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week#maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him#but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out#I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die#i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature.#i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them#mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started.#i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here#and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us.#and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't.#anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly.#with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one#idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out#but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for#the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids#anyway. enough oversharing.#thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you#mr. bees speaks
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this morning our lecturer came into our semesters workshop and was so happy to see us like it was so fucking sweet, he came in and went "where have you been!!?! I haven't seen some of you in over three weeks :(" he's such a sweetheart
#he genuinely missed us 🥹#it's really funny because like of course we get on great with him#he's our parents' age and we're close to hsi kids' age#and also he's the only man in the whole department so he's by default become our dad (more of a mother hen actually but whatever)#anyways he's someone who genuinely cares for our wellbeing and i just like him very much as a person. thats my friend :3
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biting the bullet and telling my parents I'm starting meds this week lmao
#I meant to tell my mum when I found out but ive been so exhausted this week and I genuinely thought I had another week before I started....#I hope she wont be upset that I didnt tell her immediately lmao. its just such a fast process.....#I dont think im gonna tell my dad bc ik he disproves of medication for like. 'mental health' purposes#and he especially doesnt agree w prescription stimulants. but its not like he'd be mad at me or anything just mildly judgemental#but my mums been great abt all the adhd dx stuff (she has undxed adhd + figured before i did) + ik shes curious abt the process#anyway.. ive texted + gonna call her in an hour. guess ill play more soma until then#.diaries
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thinking unhappy thoughts at 1 am except these can’t even be categorized into the “no feelings past 4pm in winter are real” bc it wasn’t inherently a negative thought it was a positive thought which upon saying aloud sounded really fucking sad
#i was thinking about how nice it was to meet someone i met this past week#and how great it felt and how i felt like we clicked so instantly#and then i was like#‘huh wonder why most social interactions feel this good to me?’#and then i realized the difference was that this person actively introduced themselves to me and started conversation#as opposed to just about 90% of the social interactions i partake in which involve me sitting alone and being ignored#until i stand up and try and butt into some of my friends conversations in some way#anyways just thinking about how very few people seem to want to interact with me#nothing like real world experiences feeding into the deep-seeded belief i have that i’m inherently unloveable#and also that i’m inherently annoying but everyone is just too nice to tell me#i am not joking when i say i genuinely have trauma from being a neurodivergent person in the midwest#going from a life of ‘if people don’t like me they will tell me’ to ‘everyone seems to not like me but won’t say anything’#as a child was a traumatic experience and created intense feelings of inadequacy and trust issues#which i was already really vulnerable to bc i was emotionally abused as a kid#so combine having a dad who says everything you do is wrong no matter how hard you try#with friends who refuse to say what you’re doing wrong but will hold grudges against it and will be mad at you for it#but every time you ask them they say ‘no we’re not mad!’#plus literally like a decade of me trying to make friends in this fucking hellhole of a town and getting basically nothing but laughed at#and you can see why having a good social interaction for once is actually really fucking upsetting#because HOLY SHIT is that what life is SUPPOSED TO BE??#you’re telling me most interactions i have with people make me feel bad not bc i have social anxiety but because i’m giving it 110%#and i’m getting back maybe 10%???#anyways it’s wishing i didn’t live in this shithole place with these shitty people hours#and wishing the world was fucking nicer to me when i was a kid bc it was so rough for 13 year old me for no goddamn reason#every day is another day of realizing i literally didn’t have a time in my life when things weren’t falling apart#until i was literally 17#kristen
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i have got to go to the doctor for my anxiety like covid made it so much worse lol
#genuinely get so so so anxious leaving the house for more than a few hours??? like on top of the anxiety rn for the flight there’s anxiety#about leaving for 3 days???? i’m gonna be with my dad and my sister i should be fine?? but nope lol#even on my main camping trip last year i remember feeling so homesick and anxious despite what should’ve been a great time#anyway tumblr diary time :)
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in the power of Noticing Things The Xth Time Around the instrumentals-imitative "doot. doot. doot. dooWAH" vocals that kick in during the second verse of centerfold? superlative
#i've heard the song a fair number of times & always enjoyed it a lot. high energy & fun; a little goofy in great ways in subj & sonic style#it is extremely correct to work w/imitative vocalizations in your music no matter what. put in more. More#(and the Vocal [doot] being on the backbeat as opposed to the Instrumental [doot]....superlative!]#and did i Mention that [verse into chorus] synth line...the drumming underneath it...#even the faux Live Performance psychout ending. a song about a Specific Ass Situation thank fucking god. deserved to chart like that.#also anytime i say Dad Rock i use it fairly neutrally lol. i'm a fan plenty of songs that would qualify; to be more specific#lmao love the instances of [no matter how many ties i hear it i cannot distinguish this sequence into phonemes in a way that corresponds to#words (or words that fit into the context in any comprehensible way)] i.e. went ''okay time to look up lyrics b/c i will always be going:#flowers What about her dress??'' & the line is apparently ''while i was thinking about her dress'' lol love when the revelations of#mishearing are funny like Ah right....and claims it's ''slipped me notes'' rather than ''slipping notes'' but doesn't change too much#being like [i cannot decipher these lyrics] is generally a more fun casual version of ''especial tendency to struggle w/audio processing''#versus like not knowing what tf someone's said in this part in a movie or smthing no matter how many times you hear it#or of course the most A Problem: not being able to parse what's being Spoken in some in-person situation#might be an occasion you can't get anything repeated; might be an occasion where for some reason/s a repeat doesn't even help....#also forever the Idiosyncratic Origin Stories behind [genuine friendships formed when you are autistic] e.g. like yeah one of my good#elementary school friendships? was one where we did parallel play; maybe never or very rarely actually Spoke; our Distracting Each Other#was punished with more of a singular intensity than i ever saw Anyone's ''distracting each other'' interactions....#took years of being at the same job (part time; so not like monday thru friday 9 to 5 Always being there at the same time anyways)#for me & a coworker to start talking & become work friends; then regular friends#their name was angel; so the menace i became when we had such a dad rock station on & these alignments occurred#though i would be engaging in singing along to things in general lol so
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Whilst I love the mcr cover of common people, it’s jarring listening to the original pulp version first because it feels so much more natural in an English accent.
#remembering the day I met my best friend#we were painting set for the am-dram group she and our other friend are a part of#and there was music playing across the speakers#and I’m obnoxious and find it impossible not to quiz people about the music that’s playing#seriously every song that comes on you get a ‘you know who sang this don’t you? you know what year it was? you know the album?’#I’m genuinely so obnoxious the only person who ever actually humours me is my dad#it’s cause I like showing off my knowledge#anyway I’m quizzing her and she’s sort of given a vague ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to all of them because she knows all the words to songs but she doesn’t#know anything about them y’know#so I’m taking great joy in furnishing her with more knowledge than she’s ever asked for#and common people comes on - the original pulp version - and she goes ‘oh I know this one#it’s mcr’ and I had this duel moment of being like ‘yes she knows a band’ and my heart dying a little inside because…oh honey no#this is pulp this is the original this is so much better#so I was like ‘kinda. they did a cover but this is the original by pulp. 1995. stellar tune from the different class album#and despite me being the most insufferable know it all#she still decided she wanted to be my friend#I think that’s pretty great
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I’m so sorry I may sound like a loser cuz I know a lot of people don’t like the game, but are there any votes for “This Comes From Inside”?
You are not alone anon!!! It has 5 nominations, making it one of the most nominated songs so far!
#security breach slaps the gameplay is just awful#genuinely i really like security breach 🥺#glamrock freddy is my dad#if he wasnt overplayed the new springtrap design FUCKS LIKE HELL#the ONLY things i dont like about security breach is i know the gameplay would personally drive me nuts#and also vanny had SO MUCH WASTED POTENTIAL she was set to be my favorite fnaf character#just based off the trailers#and then she wasnt even in the game a whole lot#i had a great time watching playthroughs tho!#security breach is fine. its different and that threw a lot of people off but it was still fun!!!#also this comes from inside was the first new fnaf song i got in a really long time and i love kt#anyway thats enough rambling in the tags for today#anon#ask#song count#not a poll
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I just read an interesting ask (not to my account) and answer about Hermione's role as the fandom bicycle and both accounts made fair points (excessive Ron bashing, Hermione is held to huge standards) but conveniently forgot to point out that a big part of Hermione-centric fics are about empowering her (and the author empowering themselves through her). If she's often paired with more mature/older characters, it's not only because she's a popular character that is handy for writing smut about any other character... but because people genuinely think Hermione deserves better than someone they see as inferior (Ron) and not only that, but see her getting with someone else as reclaiming herself, freeing herself from her destiny (the canon). It's a Fix-It of some sorts.
I don't know, the post (which I won't link since both people seemed pretty dead set on their opinion and I'm not particularly trying to change anyone's mind, I'm just rambling for myself and possibly anyone else who's interested in that) really paints Hermione as a fragile thing and I think it does her a disservice.
(One of the two people also seemed to think that shipping characters meant you wanted to see them together in canon, which, assflash newshole: no)
#The newsflash asshole part is a reference. I'm not insulting anyone#A meme inside a meme#Putting a iasip meme in a hp post. How funny of me#The last HP fic I read was about Hermione crushing as a teenager on Hot Single Dad James Potter (thank you Fanlore)#and getting in a relationship with him when she's an adult. It's funny. Adorable. Horny. It's a great fic.#I'm not interested in debating what I've written with *a certain crowd* btw. It's an observation not a prompt. It's what I've seen.#Like I genuinely think H is a big candidate for self-insert as the main girl who's greatly developed#Now do I ship Snape with H. Nah. I don't have the crush on Alan Rickman that most Snape/X fan seems to have#But it makes perfect sense that H would be more interested in older/more mature people. I mean she canonically is with Krum#Like it's not a reach. It's there in canon and I think a lot of people who were deemed mature for their age (hi) will relate#I absolutely prefer hanging out with older people and my taste in partner is similar. It makes sense.#Anyway not putting the main tags here. I just wanted to react. Minimizing her is disservice. That's all.
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#y'all it is a weekend of drama apparently#so a few years ago my dad and stepmum and i went to scotland#while there my stepmum kept looking for a skirt with our family tartan but never managed to find one#so for her birthday that year my brother and i bought some wool tartan and had it shipped to canada from scotland#and i hand sewed her a skirt out of it#she genuinely loved the skirt and wore it all the time. all the time!!#in may of this year - my dad and stepmum got married. her parents live in france and her dad is v sick so they couldn't be there in person#so they hired a videographer to film the ceremony so her parents could watch it live from france#they missed the wedding tho bc they had to also attend a baptism that day and my stepmum said not to bother watching the wedding if they#were algo going to go to the baptism (the baptism was at 10am france time and the wedding at 7pm france time they could've done both easy)#but anyways. so stepmum tells her parents not to watch the wedding and cancels the videographer#she's been upset since that happened and every little flaw with the wedding has now made her even more upset#basically- every guest is having their entire lives nitpicked bc my stepmum has decided to find her voice and let people know when they've#upset her. which great! tell people well they've crossed a line! but she's going through like 10+ years and critiquing every little thing#like one time in 2017 i came home with dirty clothes and did my laundry at the house and 'i was taking advantage of them'#or my brother's gf was inconsiderate and rude for wearing shorts around our house (it was 20°C?? everyone was in shorts?)#anyways. my dad said this last week my stepmum has gone through and thrown out everything me or my brother ever gave her#INCLUDING THAT SKIRT I HAND SEWED ESPECIALLY FOR HER#my dad rescued what he could and hid it (luckily rescuing the skirt!) but like. wtf#for the first time my stepmum's name really suits her. she's acting a real Karen rn#and like i know she's upset that her parents couldn't watch the wedding- but that was literally her doing?#and even if they had purposefully chosen to miss it - that doesn't excuse hurting other people bc you're upset#anyways. suffice to say i don't think I'll ever feel comfy in that house ever again#and the search for an apartment out in NL might have to begin sooner than initially planned#I'm not even super upset by this just. baffled by how ridiculous it is?? like it feels like something out of a bad soap opera
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my fire opal converse arrived i’m screaming
#/hyperbole but the color is so perfect#i spent around twenty seconds screaming in a bad way because of how friggin white they are it scares me#like i don’t want to ruin them. i have owned two pairs of not-hand-me-down sneakers in my life and this is one of them#and so then i felt like a terrible person for doing purchases and wanting things and not just sticking with my old hand me down red converse#which are too small for me now and literally stained with blood. and also mud but the blood is the problem part#anyway mal blum voice oh my god look at all the stuff you got does it make your loneliness more bearable#but genuinely it kind of does. they’re my exact color it’s ridiculous guys. like it’s the color of my walls exactly#and they will make me taller so i can actually see at concerts and in the school hallway. and i’ll keep them forever#(this was an early christmas present from me to myself i put a bunch of tip money on my debit card and bought myself the shoes i’ve wanted)#they are custom because the color doesn’t come in regular converse you have to get a custom fall colors pair so i did#and so they’re lift platforms with a gold star logo patch and stripey gold and white laces it’s really cool#anyway they were supposed to arrive in time for the happy fits concert and they didn’t. but the concert didnt even happen for me so whatever#good news!!!! daisy the great is coming back this april on their first headlining tour it’s gonna be so cool#no news on the happy fits and i really want to see them and also meet them but they did say something about how they can’t wait to be back#so i hope that comes sooner rather than later and that i’m still minneapolis-adjacent enough to go#or i guess i might have to go to a show in chicago!! we grow and change with the times#anyway i’m kind of disjointed cause i woke up recently and also have been in an anxious spiral for like a week but we’re managing great#playing sudoku and being parented by my dad which means: sitting alone in my room with the door closed for hours on end#so i’m here if anybody needs me!! usually dad parenting comes with caring for my sister but she has gymnastics today so i’m like. here#anyway yeah i have these bright red-orange converse with gold on them and i’m gonna cry#i’ll post a picture soon if i’m feeling up to it they’re really exciting like almost enough to fix me#like it’s literally my color. it’s the color that i am. i’m going slightly insane about this (is insane already)#and i painted my electric guitar with nail polish so now the tuning pegs are sparkly red and it’s just a good time for the arthur community#period-induced paranoia that i thought i was done with put aside. and general anxiety put aside. the arthur community is doing great#do y’all remember mononokay by sorority noise? the arthurcore song? it still is. i’m listening to it rn and it still is#anyway idk what to say. i’m here and things are weird but i’m going back to school on monday and it won’t be as weird anymore. i hope#and i cleaned my room like actually deep cleaned it and it’s fixed now. my room is actually good now. how did that happen#anyway i want to go home but i am home. i should also eat breakfast. yeah. so i will do that now. yep#me. my post. mine.#friends only
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It really does suck how hard it is to get a doctor's appointment in this country, but there's a certain humour to successfully getting one before your mum and the first thing she does when you walk in the room is call you a bitch in the same tone as when you just ate the last of the good chocolate.
#lmao she's gutted#I'm BAFFLED how fast they got back to me like genuinely#I did NOT expect that#so I'm like :O this is great! while mum mentally rattles me like a box of tictacs lmao#she's never regretted saying 'oh I'll do it tomorrow I cant be arsed right now' more in her LIFE#it sucks cause she has an actual problem#not to say I don't but she has an actual problem that needs dealing with and I just walk in like heehoo got one#I ALSO walked in with the sandwich she made for me last night so I ALSO made enemies with dad today cause mum didn't make him one too#so I just walked into the room and felt the comedic wrath of both parents at once and I think the only one not mad at me in the room was-#the dog lmao sdfsdfs#rip mum I will try and help her get one of course but for now this is pretty funny#I probably got the last one of the day#firefly life#anyway that's how my life is going so far today lmao how're you guys doing
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Truly we herald this as the autism website. And God damn it sure is the website of having autism but not fucking understanding that autism is different in different people. Also for a website that says shit like "ppl will send hate mail but be afraid to make a phone call" I don't think some ppl have actually dealt with a serious argument in a long time cause they cannot handle the most minor shit
#This is Personal Complaint Time: my dad fuckin yells at me. Is that justified? Lol no. Do I have to actually respond instead of killing him?#Yes! I know I talk big game about violence bc mental illness but Jesus christ I dont think you people understand what an argument is. Like.#I say you ppl as if this applies to any of the like... 2 ppl who look at my posts lol! Anyway. Getting into yelling matches with my dad#Sucks and he shouldn't do that! That doesn't mean I'm never in the wrong. We both suck as people and I have to make an effort to apologize#And communicate. Idk where this is even going I just think a lot of people have a genuinely fucked sense of communication#Also ''autism website'' but not THAT kinda autism bc its yucky#Food sensory issues/being upset about things being Off/emotional control issues - ''I'm autistic and I don't have those issues!'' Great!#It's a spectrum. Go to hell
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