#and you can see why having a good social interaction for once is actually really fucking upsetting

[yay-depression]

thinking unhappy thoughts at 1 am except these can’t even be categorized into the “no feelings past 4pm in winter are real” bc it wasn’t inherently a negative thought it was a positive thought which upon saying aloud sounded really fucking sad

[vanessagillings]

I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

[mirohlayo]

MY INTROVERT GIRL | LN4

( being an introvert, you became insecure about it because lando seems to prefer his extrovert friend girl. )

warning : some angst, insecurity, jealousy, fluff and fluff, lando having a soft spot for you 🥹

note : as an introvert, this one is for my others introvert girlies 🫶

word count : 4.9k

!! english not my first language !!

your feet crawl on the floor. you make your way through the crowd, trying to get into the mclaren garage. a wide smile is glued on your lips as you get closer to the place you want to be there.

some mclaren engineers greet you. you smile at them, throwing some "hello" or "how you guys doing ?" and keep walking towards the garage. they all know you as the good and close friend of lando, but what you don't know is that they secretly see you as lando's biggest crush.

because it is actually the truth. of course you are not aware of this, but lando is really in love in with you. and not just a little. the mclaren members are not blind, even the others agree with them : lando is so fucking head over heels for you.

it's just so obvious. the way he always stutters on his words whenever you're talking to him, the way he blushes when you'd look at him, the way he looks at you with just pure affection and adoration.

he truly has a soft spot for you. when you two are together, it's like there is only you in the world. everyone can feel your deep connection and that there is more than friendship in the air. when you both interact together, it just looks like two soulmates who love each other sincerely.

but it seems you and lando are the only one who don't notice it. for you, he was just being friendly. and for him, he was sure you would never love him because you were too perfect to be his girlfriend.

and this really gets on everyone's nerves. like for god damn, when this little game will finally end ? all of your friends want you to be together already, but it seems like you guys are just brats. and it annoys even your families.

the engineers give you playful smiles as you approach the garage. you keep walking and once you're here your eyes immediately laid on your favorite boy out there.

lando.

oh god. he's so perfect. how much you love him is crazy. his cute smile, his blue green eyes, his soft curly hair. you love everything about him and even more his personality. you wish he was yours.

but unfortunately, he's not. and it pains your heart a little more every day. it feels like you will never be his girlfriend. why ? because he acts friendly with you. because he won't get into a relationship with a common girl like you. and mostly, because of the one girl standing right next to him.

your eyes shift on the blonde girl who is laughing with lando. ohh. how you wish you were her. she's truly beautiful and well, perfect. typically lando's type of girl.

ava. it's her name. she's gorgeous, kind, sweet and funny. and plus she gets along with everybody. she's an extrovert person. and you know how lando likes extrovert people. he gets more comfortable with them and he's just more himself around them.

and that's why you became insecure about you. not for your physical appearance, no. but for your introvert side. you are a pure introvert. you don't get along quickly with others like would do ava.

you're shy and timid. you're uncomfortable around crowd and people you don't know. you're kind of bad at socializing and it takes time for you to open yourself to people. you're awkward when someone would bring you into a conversation.

but ava is so the opposite of you. she's not a bit shy. she makes people feel comfortable and she loves socializing. she also likes when people would talk about her. she's not afraid, she's just the moment. and you felt like lando loves that. that lando just loves her.

you keep looking at them. lando is laughing at one of her jokes, and the sparkles in his eyes when he looks at her tighten your poor heart. she pushes him gently, hiding a smile while he imitates a hurt expression.

seeing them like that, you don't even want to say hi to lando. you sigh and take a step back. "jealous much huh ?"

you turn around and meet oscar, his eyes scanning your face. "not even a bit" you reply and try to keep a straight face. "yeah, if only you know that he also feels the same way about you right now" he whispers softly, you almost miss it.

you frown and confusion fills your eyes. "what ?" you try to get an answer. he shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest, a dumb smile playing over his lips. "nothing. just forget what i said". you can't help but laugh at him. "oh okay. mister wants to play the mysterious" you say and he starts to laugh with you.

you and oscar are good friends. he is like your confident. he knows about your feelings for his teammate driver. you always talk about it only with him because you trust him. but he also knows that lando does have the same feelings for you. and for him it's just funny, the way you're always bringing him back in your conversations while lando is also doing the same with you.

and like that, you start talking with oscar. you also found comfort in him, kind of a safe place, because he's like you. an introvert buddy. he's shy and timid just like you. so you two understand each other well, and you get along perfectly.

that's why when lando sees you laughing tears with oscar in the garage, his heart stopped. and his brain too. he stops listening to the blonde girl next to him, who don't even notice it.

his poor heart pang. his poor heart twists. he's feeling very jealous now. how he looks at you with anger. how he is so annoyed. his favorite girl, his precious crush having fun with his teammate. he don't like that at all.

he knows getting jealous over oscar is not good, because first of all he has lily. but still, he knows how much comfort you find in him. because oscar reminds you of yourself. you're both introvert, you're both acting the same with people.

and he feels like you just prefer oscar's introvert personality than him, with his extrovert one. he knows he can be a very outgoing guy and he also knows how extrovert people sometimes makes you uncomfortable. but he thought it wasn't the same with him.

from the way you were acting like an extrovert girl only with him. the way he was the only one you would talk about anything for hours. the fact you always found him in a very crowded place and would never leave him, sticking to his hand.

yeah, he just thought he was the only extrovert person you liked. but it seems oscar was your number one boy.

you don't know that since you appeared in the garage, all he wanted was to look at you. to leave ava and instead talk to you, keeping all of you just for him. to be sure he's the only boy you would be comfortable with. to make sure you're the only introvert he needs and loves.

a soft touch on his arm come him back to the reality. he knows looking at you and oscar like he's going to kill him is not good at all, so he shifts his gaze because it also hurts him. the blonde girl plunges into his arms and he almost let her fall down.

"are you still listening ?" she says softly with puppy eyes. he sighs and take a step back, letting his arms rest next to his body. "yeah sorry, i was thinking about the race" "oh, it's okay lan".

lan. how he loves this surname, but only when y/n would say it. he don't like hearing it from ava. it doesn't mean he don't like her. of course she's kind, funny and sweet. but that's all. she's not as kind as y/n when she would put others before herself, she's not as adorable as y/n when she would show her shiny smile. she's just not y/n. nobody is like her.

and when ava would call him like that, it's friendly. it's just a common surname for him. but when you would call lando as "lan", oh god. he's getting weak on the knees. the way it perfectly rolls over your tongue, the way you use a soft tone to pronounce it. it makes lando feel lighter, his heart beating way faster. he just loves when you call him like that.

yeah, nobody can deny it. it blinds everyone. and lando knows it damn well. he has a soft spot for you. and only for you.

-

it's almost time. your heart pounds faster and you start to think if it's a good idea or not. your hands sweat as you grab your dress.

you need to prepare yourself. for what ? a party. yeah, a damn party. you genuinely didn't want to attend it, because first of all it's not in your habits. you're not used to stay awake all night and stay with strangers in a room. plus with loud music, even though you play music out loud when you're alone in your house.

but there it's different. your shy introvert side tells you to stay at your house and don't go to that fucking party. but still, a part of you tells you to attend it, because why not ? and plus there will be someone special, someone you actually crave to see.

lando norris of course.

and for nothing in the world you would miss seeing him. so you gather all of your courage and decided to join him and your friends there. it is a party planed by pietra for her birthday.

being close friends with lando, you were able to meet his others friends like his best friend max. you started hanging out with them, and like that you became also friend with max's girlfriend, pietra. she's now one of your best friend. you just literally loves this girl and so does she. so of course just for that, you had to show yourself to her party.

you adjust your white dress and take a look in the mirror. it fits you perfectly, like literally perfectly. you were gorgeous. you're not really the type to wear dresses, top and pants are your way go to. it's pretty rare to catch you in a dress. but when you would wear one, oh god. you're the most beautiful woman to walk on earth.

and white suits you even more. it contrasts well with your skin tone and embellish your hair. it makes your face bright, shining even more than usual. but you are not very sure of your choice. yes, you look very pretty but you need to be sure of that.

you grab your phone and call pietra. only she can tell you if it's okay or not. she picks up the phone and you don't wait a second to put on your camera. "how do i look ? tell me the truth" you ask stressed. she looks shocked. but kind in a good way. really good way. she smiles brightly and let a scream out. "girl you're literally a goddess on earth !! fuck you're too pretty for us"

you laugh and blush a little, relieved you look good. "thanks pietra" she gives you an implicit look and grins at you. "you're going to make someone loose his mind. if you see who i'm talking abo-" "oh please stop girl" you cut her midway and she just laughs, her perfect smile crossing the phone screen. "anyway i need to get things done, see you soon babe"

you wave your hand and give her your best smile before hang up. you look at your reflection. yeah, it is true, you definitely look incredibly beautiful. you just finish quickly to prepare yourself, getting your hair and natural makeup done. and now you're ready to leave your house. to go to the party.

you're still not really in the mood to show up there. yes maybe it will be fun, but the idea of just cancel it and instead stay underneath your warm blanket watching some netflix movies sounds good to you. but no, you can't do that to pietra. you need to go. and you also need to see him.

so after the drive, you thanks the chauffeur and walk towards pietra's villa she rented for tonight. loud music escapes from the place, and you already regret coming here. but it's too late now, you need to go.

you walk inside the living room. a lot of people are already drinking and dancing. even a dj is here doing the show. you find a lot of new faces, but thanks there is still some people you recognize.

you walk further inside and luckily you find pietra talking with some friends. there are lando, max and some quadrant members around her too. your heart skip a beat at the sight of lando.

his slightly unbottoned shirt which contrasts with his tan skin, his chain around his neck and his veiny arms. you can easily run out of air. and his smile. oh he really makes you lose your mind.

you carefully approach the group. "hello guys" you shyly say and everyone shift to look at you. a bunch of pairs of eyes scan you, and you can feel yourself burn under their gazes. but especially from lando's one.

the man he's sure he forgot how to breath and think correctly. he has never been this speechless. your hairstyle, your pretty makeup, your white dress which highlights your perfect body. it's maybe the first time he sees you in a dress, and he can't take enough of it.

he can't take his eyes off you. you're such a beautiful girl to admire. and even more now. he truly wants to keep staring at you all night, but it would make you uncomfortable. so he struggles to not stare. but it seems like he failed at it.

"looks like lando is having too much from the dressed girl" pietra tease him, giving him an implicit smile. you blush, because you actually notice how lando was looking at you. with an intense gaze. the driver don't reply back, instead he acts like he didn't hear anything but still gives you a shy smile.

"it's rare to see you in dresses y/n. but you look very pretty" ria gives you a wink. "thank you" you simply answer, too shy to say anything else. a blonde head suddenly shows up inside the group. she let appears her bright smile that everyone loves and finally stuck her gaze on you.

"huh yeah, she looks good." ava says, a doubted look crossing her eyes. she gives you a fake smile and move to be next to lando.

you know ava don't like you. maybe hate you even. because you're also close with lando. she wants the driver for herself, but it seems the man prefer y/n. and for you it's the opposite. you think lando prefers the extrovert girl.

that's why you distance yourself from lando. or actually it is ava's fault. since some weeks now, she's getting closer with the mclaren driver. always going outside together, always showing up to the races. she's always clung to him.

and because of that you became distant with lando. it's been a while since you have not been alone with him, or talk to him for a bit. you miss those moments. and lando craves them too.

the blonde girl keep searching for lando's attention, but it seems like he was still stuck on y/n. "i'm going to get a drink" you say because you didn't want to stay here anymore. "let me accompany you then" lando quickly reply to you.

he takes his chance. he wants to be alone with you again, to talk to you like weeks before.

you smile and he follows you to the bar. you order a juice, you're not a great fan of alcoholic drinks. soon the barman lends you the glass and you thanks him. "hum... i-i just wanted to say y-you're really really gorgeous" he stutters very hard over his words.

"oh thank you lan. you too, you look very pretty" you reply with burned cheeks. he can't help but blush back too, his heart beating so fast now. oh and you called him lan. he's in heaven now. the way you said it with an affectionate tone, it soften his tiny heart. it grows up even more his soft spot for you.

"i-i thought you weren't going to come" he stutters once again. and you notice it of course. lando always stammers when he'd talk to you. you don't know why. that's the reason you think it's because of being an introvert.

with his others extrovert friends, just like ava, he would talk so easily. he never stammer and he looks always comfortable. but with you it's different. maybe he's awkward around introvert people.

it makes you feel even more insecure. because you also noticed how he would do funny things only with his extrovert friends, especially ava rather than you. like he's having more fun with her and he neglects and refrains from doing certain things with you, that of course he does with the blonde woman. yeah, it makes you feel very insecure.

you almost started to hate yourself, to hate your introvert self.

"yeah, i genuinely didn't want to show up. but it's pietra's birthday, i wasn't going to miss that" you shrug and he simply nods. "actually, i missed talking to you y/n. it's great to see you again" he confesses.

your heart meltdowns. he's literally so caring. "me too lando. i'm glad to spend time with you" you reveal to the boy and you swear you saw him giggles.

"okay everyone listen, we're going to play some games outside so come if you want to take part of it" max's voice in the microphone alerts the crowd.

some people start to walk outside the villa, making their way to the garden. you want to say something to lando, that you don't really want to go outside and prefer to stay inside. but before you could a hand drag lando's one. "lan come with me, let's play a game"

ava. always ava. and before lando can reply back something, she's already bringing him outside. he gives you a sorry look, pain flooding in his eyes, and you just show him a small smile, murmuring a "that's okay go".

you sigh, watching him fade away with the girl you wish you could be.

you drink an another sip. now all you want is to leave the party. it's not great for pietra but you know she'll forgive you. everything is boring now. even the music, you beg for it to stop. a desperate and sad feeling flows through your body.

"come with me outside then". you move your head and cross oscar's eyes. you feel relieved a bit, your confident being here next to you is a very good support now. "for what ? seeing him enjoy his time with her ? no thanks". the driver sigh and put his hand over yours. "please y/n. at least take part of the party, not for him but for your friend pietra. don't let them know you're sad."

you don't know what to reply. you stay silent for a while. and that is when oscar lost it. "okay it's enough. let's have fun together. i don't like seeing you unhappy because of this dumb bratty man"

he drags you outside in the garden. you couldn't do nothing but follow him. you know arguing back wouldn't help either. so you keep staying to his sides.

you see lando and ava together, laughing loudly like there are only them here. like it's just the two of them. you roll your eyes, annoyed. "oh yeah what a great idea oscar" "oh please stop looking at them and instead give me your goddamn attention" he replies back and you know he is a bit angry at you. "okay ´m sorry" you whisper.

and, suddenly, he approaches you. and he starts tickling you. "w-wait oscar what are you doi-" you can't even finish your sentence that you burst into laughter. oscar knows you're very ticklish and he takes advantage of it.

you try to tickle him back, and once you reach his sides he also starts to laugh loudly. "you're gonna regret what you have just done" he says and starts to pursue you.

you run as fast as you can, dodging his attacks. you can't help but laugh like a child, feeling so happy right now. oscar genuinely knows how to cheep you up.

but that of course drives lando's attention on you two. he stops playing his game, leaving ava playing alone now with max and the others. he keeps staring at the both of you, having way more fun than him with the blonde woman.

and jealousy starts to run again in his blood. fuck. how he wants to be oscar right now, how he wants to laugh childishly with you like that. he hates being stuck on ava's side now. he wants to join you. to keep you. maybe to run out of the party and instead spend the night with you like on a date.

he truly wants you.

so he gives up the game and the blonde girl who is calling him back. but he doesn't care. he walk fast towards you. he sees red. once he's at your level he quickly grabs your hand.

"come play games with me y/n" he kind of order you. you frown and let your hand out of his grip, which twist his heart. "no why ? you're having fun with ava" you reply coldly. "yeah but join us. don't look childish by running everywhere with him and inste-" "what did you say ??" you cut him midway.

oscar breathes and sigh. he knows something will happen, but it's for the best. "okay I'll leave the two of you together" he quickly says and in a second he's already left.

"i-i'm sorry, that's not what i meant". lando didn't mean to say that. he was just so jealous of you and oscar that he didn't think about his words. if only you know how bad he wanted to look childish with you, running everywhere in the garden. "oh yeah, don't search for any excuse lando. i was feeling much better when you were playing with ava and abandoning me for her". you coldly throw that at him.

his heart cries of pain. "but i would enjoy much my time with you instead of her" he reveals, and he beg you'd trust him because it is all the truth. but ava shout his name back, and his head automatically turns to look at her. you roll your eyes and start to walk back. "that's what i can see".

you walk inside the villa and guide yourself to the villa's entryway. lando is following you back, trying to grab your hand. "don't go y/n please". he begs you. "no, i'm leaving the party lan".

he sighs and keep following your steps. "okay but then let me drive you back to your house". he proposes this offer to you, and you don't reply. so he takes your silence as a yes.

you find his car and he opens the door for you. he's still a gentleman even in this situation and it makes you feel strangely better. you sit in the car and lando joins you. he puts the contact on and he starts to drive.

the ride is silent. very silent. no one want to talk. or at least nobody knows what to say. you scroll your phone, and lando keep stealing glances at you. he doesn't like when you ignore him. soon the ride is over and you're finally in front of your door house.

you quickly get out of the car and run towards your door, but before locking you up behind lando gently grab your wrist. "for one last time please y/n. listen to me".

you sigh and meet his eyes. you can see him pleading you by just looking at you. his arms suddenly wraps your waist, and he pulls you closer. his hands gently stroke your sides. you feel his breath on your head. "look at me y/n" he softly say.

you lift up your head and oh - you were not expecting seeing the abundant affection flooding in his eyes. "i'm sorry for what i've said earlier. you have to believe me, i really didn't intend to say it". he starts.

"but then why would you stop me from having fun with oscar while ava was there ?" you desperately ask.

"because i wanted to have fun with you too" he says back to back. "but i thought you prefer ava's company" you frown. "not when i can have yours" he smiles.

you look at him confused. what was he trying to say ? you're not getting it. "i don't understand lando. why ? you love ava right ?" you ask, even though you already know his answer. you don't even want to hear it, but it's too late.

"arghh for god damn no !! it's you. i love you. you're the one i fell in love hard with. i fucking love you y/n" he almost shouts it, getting angrier because you didn't get what he was trying to say.

you blink. what ?? does lando truly love you ? or are you dreaming ?

"y-you love me ?" you ask again. "yes, i love you. i'm so head over heels for you and i can't stop myself from loving you". he says with loving eyes.

a shy smile spreads over your face. so you're your crush crush ? you can't believe it. it can't be real. the one you thought you won't have a chance with just confessed his feelings for you.

"but i really thought you loved ava. you were always having fun with her and you got along with her." you murmur softly.

"yes of course i'm good friend with her. but she's not the one that i want. it's you. i want you. and i need you baby" he replies , a shy smile dancing on his lips.

"but why you were doing certain things with only her and not me ? i always felt like that you couldn't love me because i'm an introvert and it seemed like you prefer extrovert girls". you finally reveal what you feel, what you're insecure about.

it pains lando. because you don't value yourself enough while he would do anything to have you as his girlfriend. why would he prefer his extrovert friend girl when you're here, the most perfect and beautiful introvert girl on earth ?

"it's not like that baby. i genuinely know you're introvert and that sometimes there are things that makes you uncomfortable. and i didn't want to make you feel that way. that's why i neglected doing activities with you, because i didn't want to rush and hurry things, i wanted to take time with you and to make sure you're comfortable with me"

your eyes soften as you listen to him. god he's just so perfect, you thought.

"also sometimes i don't know how to react or what to do because i don't want to hurt you. you're so precious to me and i wouldn't forgive me if i ever hurt you". he continues and his hands move to your cheeks, rubbing them gently.

"you know i almost hated myself from being an introvert just because of that" you whisper.

"and i'm so fucking sorry for that, love. i love you the way you are. i fell in love with you because you are an introvert, truly. like it's just the cutest thing ever. i love that side of you and i hope you'll never change it. i don't care about ava and others extrovert girls. because now i have you, my love"

"but i thought you we-"

"can you please stop adding things and instead let me kiss you girl ?" he rolls his eyes ans wait for an answer, a silly smile over his lips.

"yeah you can kiss me" you shyly answer.

he smiles brightly and without thinking he leans in. he presses his lips against yours and delights in the feeling. your lips are so soft, he don't want to stop kissing them. you wrap your arms around him too and pull him closer.

he struggles to pull back, already missing your lips against his. he bumps your noses and let a small laugh out of his mouth. "my introvert girl"

you softly slap him on the arm and he laughs at you. "i love you my shy girl" he says jokingly. you roll your eyes and kiss him on the cheek. "i love you too lando. so so much".

now the mclaren driver is the happiest man alive. and he knows for sure he will take care of his introvert girl, the most perfect woman for him.

[boiohboii]

Nobel prize winner wife pt2 (toto wolff x reader)

(Social media au)

Toto just revealed who his wife of 15 years is, but if he was going to reveal his family, why not all members of them?

or

in which Toto Wolff decided to let everyone know who is the little boy who made him a father

Note: I am sure this is not what you guys had in mind when you asked for part 2, but I just felt like a little teen in the mix is needed for our favorite it couple. WARNING: like 3 swear words, if I missed anything please let me know

Masterlist

PART 1

Liked by wolfffam, ynwolff, totodaddy and 417,930 others

F1WAGS&FAVES: Dr. YN LN seen today in Yeongsan International School of Seoul, rumors are she is there for the freshmen's parents career day.

username: I can not handle dad toto and mum yn

username: toto and yn might be official dilf and milf

username: no, I refuse to believe they have a kid that isn't me

username: I am willing to fight their kid for an exchange of parents

username: I love how with every photo her skin tone gets whiter

username: welcome to the white washing of korea

username: she never disappoints with her fits

username: if they actually have a kid imagine how awesome it'd be, like his dad is the team principle of the Mercedes f1 team and his mum is the only woman to win a Nobel prize twice!

username: if I'm a parent and my kid is a friend of theirs, I'd never compare my kid to baby wolff, he'd just pull an uno reverse card and compare me to yn and toto

username: say sike rn

Liked by Lewishamilton, Pierregasly, georgerussell63 and 819,652 others

mercedesamgf1: can't wait for sam to join us, it's going to be such a fun weekend with him here..... here are 4 pictures of baby wolff throughout the years (yes, we knew, he is our favourite person in the paddock) ps: all photos of our prince are till he was 13 years old

Lewishamilton: can't wait to see the little man

samwolff09: can't wait to see you too uncle Lewis

georgerussel63: @.samwolff09 what about me?

samwolff09: @.georgerussel63 we were together last week 😆 but I still miss you 😄

username: THEY KNOW EACH OTHER, UNCLE LEWIS, HE WAS WITH GEORGE

username: HE HAS AN ACCOUNT

username: his account is private 🥲

danielricciardo: the little prince is growing up, I remember when he was just learning how to run

samwolff09: uncle Danny, please don't tell anyone of that time, I still get embarrassed thinking about it

samwolff09: we can't wait to join you again, take good care of mum and dad till Jay and I join you

mercedesamgf1: of course your highness

username: who is Jay?

username: imagine it's his brother

username: STOP IT!

maxverstappen1: P misses you @.samwolff09

samwolff09: @.maxverstappen1 I miss her too!! So much! Is she joining this weekend?

maxverstappen1: @.samwolff09 yes yes, once she knew you're coming she wouldn't take no for an answer

samwolff09: @.maxverstappen1 YES! I CAN'T WAIT, SEND HER MY HUGS AND KISSES

username: max being chatty with toto's son is so unhinged for my 2023 agenda

username: max writing his longest comments for sam wolff will be my favourite social media interaction

mickschumacher: Sammy! Keep your phone with you this time @.samwolff09

samwolff09: @.mickschumacher micky, please, it was one time!

sebastianvettel: well, now I have no choice but to go this weekend

samwolff09: uncle seb! I miss you!! Are you really coming?? Please say yees, pleaaseeee

sebastianvettel: of course little cub, who else is gonna watch over you and Jay

username: baby wolff collecting drivers left right and center

christanhorner: it had been too long since I saw this little man

samwolff09: looking forward to seeing you again sir @.christanhorner

christanhorner: @.samwolff09 please, call me uncle chris, and make sure to stop by and say hi

samwolff09: of course uncle Chris! See you then

username: I am confusion

username: did baby wolff just make a truce between mercedes and redbull

username: his smile can stop wars and here's the proof

Loked by park-sunhoon, jaypark, lewishamilton and 273 others

samwolff09: I just wanna thank my parents on my birthday cause they always make me feel loved, they always make me feel safe and that every little thing I do or feel is valid and is okay, I am so lucky to have them and I am truly thankful for being able to have them in my life and to be here as their son.

Liked by jungwonofficial, park-sunghoon, mercedesamgf1 and 261 others

samwolff09: 11 years apart and my love for this place is still the same

jaypark: one of the best vacation houses fr

park-sunghoon: true, it's still my favorite place

jungwonofficial: the summer we spent there was the best one man, we need to do that again

samwolff09: @.jaypark @.park-sunghoon @.jungwonofficial let's go again next summer, I'm sure dad and mum won't mind

Liked by jaypark, jungwonofficial, park-sunghoon and 258 others

samwolff09: I hate that we don't have any good pictures with the 4 of us together, but aside from that, I miss you three so much, fuck you for being busy...... but hey, make these bomb tracks woon and sungie win another world championship... jay I see you everyday at school but it'd be rude if I didn't include you

jungwonofficial: so it's rude to ignore jay but not rude to not post a picture of us together, okay I see how it is sammy boy

jaypark: we are the nepo babies of our quadrant man that's why I'm stuck by your side 😚

park-sunghoon: I thought you deleted the photo of the 2 of us! Dude, I can't have evidence of me clinging onto you, it'd ruin my image!

jaypark: what image, everyone knows you're a clingy ass mf as soon as you see sam

Liked by mercedesamgf1, georgerussel63, sebastianvettel and 361 others

samwolff09: happy father's day to my old man, he is such a great and loving man (even though he still scares me whenever I'm studying) when I feel like I'm so different from him he gives me all the love and support I need, and even if I don't say a thing, he still knows and makes sure that I know how appreciated I am and why he is proud to be my father, he let's me explore and experience things as much as I want while watching over me so that I won't get hurt. Dad, I love you so much and I swear I will carry you and take care of you when you're old and tired

{Taglist- everyone who asked for pt2, thank you and I hope you liked it ♥️♥️

@topaz125 @miiikkeey @omgsuperstarg @nayizy @ohkapten @d-stargirl @innercollectivecomputer }

[writersblockedx]

Stalker

Pairing - Marcus Baker x Fem!Reader Summary - Y/n is pushed to confront the boy who can't seem to stop staring at her at school. Warnings - Alcohol & drug use Words - 2K

Masterlist

It had been happening all week. In the middle of talking, doing work or walking down the hallways, Y/n would look up, finding the same pair of eyes trailing her. In the beginning, she must have convinced herself she was imagining it. Marcus Baker wasn't one for wanting to self-illicit anything close to a social interaction. So she ignored it.

Then it started to seem like the boy's eyes were attached to her every move. Y/n had been in the midst of listening to Maxine go on about her most recent date (which hadn't ended well) when she noted the feeling of someone watching. Her back was pressed against the wall, Abby at her side as her gaze found Marcus once again. He didn't look away. His eyes lingered as if he weren't fazed she had caught him.

"Is he doing it again?" Snapped Abby. Her tone wasn't so loud that Marcus could hear from the other side of the hall, but the girl certainly wasn't trying to hide her words.

"Doing what?" Nora joined in.

Y/n lightly shook her head, shifting so she was no longer facing the shaggy-haired boy. "Don't worry about it."

"No." Abby cut in, gaining the attention of more of their friends. "It's getting creepy. If he likes you, he needs to come over and say something." Nora nodded in agreement.

"Can we just leave it?" She requested, but it was never that easy.

"Leave what?" Max questioned, peering over with wiggling eyebrows.

Y/n refused to answer. So Abby did it for her, "Your brother's obsessed with Y/n." The girl glared over at her best friend, wishing she ended this before it hadn't gotten to this point.

Max gave a sharp, mocking gasp, "My brother...and my best friend?" She spoke back to herself. "How scandalous!" Then she relaxed and let out a chuckle. "I mean, I'm surprised you've only just realised his obsession."

Y/n's brows raised at her words, "What?"

Another chuckle left Max's lips. "Oh, yeah." She said. "You should see how jittery he gets when I say Y/n is coming over. It's like he's on crack or something. Think he's too scared to actually talk to you but at the same time, surprised he's kept it in his pants this long."

"So, he just won't stop staring?" Nora inquired.

"Strange way to flirt." Abby added.

"Can we just forget about it?" Y/n asked with a pleasant smile. "I'm sure he'll find some other girl to swoon over."

Max wandered over, throwing an arm around Y/n, looking down at her sympathetically. "You know I love you, which is why I'm telling you, this thing he has for you, isn't something recent."

"It isn't?"

"You really have no idea, do you?" Y/n shook her head. "He's been in love with you for like a year. You're gonna have to let him down lightly. Or don't, he could use a punch to his ego."

Y/n swallowed the lump which had grown in her throat. Still with Max's arm slung around her shoulder, the girl slowly looked back. She located Marcus within a split second. He was still sat in the same place, his eyes still lingering over her and in an act to play off the last five minutes, she flash a small smile. Something which, while it took a moment, was returned to her.

Nothing more happened for the rest of the week. Just glances. Some of which were now prompted by Y/n's eyes as she started staring at him first. Granted, when she did that it was in wonder if he was already looking at her. Which, most times, he was.

Friday rolled around and while Y/n was relieved for the weekend, she couldn't escape the party Max had planned. In celebration of the part she received in the newest play, she begged Ellen to let her host another party in their house. After enough asking, the woman agreed and for another Friday night, a house was littered in cheap fairy lights, illegal substances and dancing teenagers.

"Isn't this so great?" Whined Maxine as she tumbled into her friend. "This was such a good idea."

Y/n wasn't nearly as drunk as half the people around her. "Sure, Max." She replied.

"You know what else is a good idea-"

"No, no, no, Max you know it's not a good idea." The girl was already reaching for her phone, desperate for the urge to message her ex.

Y/n tried to wiggle her fingers between Max's, but it was no use, the message was already being typed. "It's just- it's one message. Its closure, Y/n." She wasn't sure who Max was trying to convince with that.

The girl hummed, still trying to take a grasp of her phone. "And you will kill me in the morning if I don't stop you right now." She said. Her eyes scanned over the room, widening as they spotted Abby and Nora talking to the boys not too far away. "Abby! Nora!" She called across the blaring music.

The two girls glanced over. And all they needed was a glance to realise what was occurring. The pair came rushing over and suddenly, it became a fight for the phone. And for a second, it looked like Max might be winning. "No, no, it's fine." She tried to convince.

Abby wiggled her fingers between Max's cheering as she got grip on the phone and Max's hand slid away. "Finally." The girl huffed. "Would you get her something?" Abby asked Y/n.

Y/n glanced back at Brodie who was smoking the last of what they had. "I don't think that's going to be possible right now." She answered.

"What about Marcus?" Nora suggested, carefully. "He's bound to have some."

Abby looked over to Y/n, her expression silently questioning if she would be okay with that. "And you need me to go?" She checked over once more - just in case the answer changed.

A slurring Max was hanging from Abby and Nora was desperate to spend some quality time with her boyfriend; of course it had to be her. "At least if you go, we'll know we'll definitely get some." Abby shrugged, sending a sympathetic smile.

She sighed but started shifting on her feet anyway, "You both owe me, big time." She said to them, pointing her index finger between the two as she started strolling backwards towards the stairs.

Y/n soon found herself in the upstairs hallways. Many doors. And only one led to Marcus' room. Of course she had been up here many times before, but that only ever really consisted of Max's room. Alas, she wandered through, knocking against the one she believed to be Marcus'. Suppose she got lucky too.

"Yeah?" Called a voice from the other side.

Slowly, the girl pushed the door open, finding the shaggy-haired boy laid lazily across his bed. There laid a sketch book in his grasp as he had one earphone hanging out. "Hi." She forced a polite smile to her lips. "You got any weed on you?" What was the point for small talk anyway? She had a plan: get in, get a joint and get out.

Marcus shifted, sitting up as he threw his earphones to one side. "You came in here to ask for illegal drugs?" He reiterated.

She tensed, "Erm, yeah?"

The boy let out a chuckle before stepping from his bed. "Relax, I'm messing with you." Y/n didn't dare move from the space she took in the room as the boy wandered toward his dresser. He pulled out one of the draws, shifting through his clothes before returning with his two joints between his finger tips. "Rules are though, you smoking my stuff, you smoke it with me."

"It's not for me." She interjected. "It's for your sister." She watched as slowly, a certain speckle faded from his pupils. "I can try and bring her up if you'd want, but she's pretty wasted-"

"No, no, that's alright." His eyes darted to the floor, anywhere which weren't Y/n's eyes. That is, for once, anyway.

An awkward silence followed that Y/n made sure she filled. "She's just a bit, emotional right now. Abby thought it would calm her down." She explained. "She's been going through a lot, you know with the-"

"Break up." He finished for her. "Yeah, trust me, I know." Another pause. Another moment of awkward silence. Marcus passed over one of the joints, "Here."

The girl took without a word. She nodded her head and spun on her feet and headed for the door. She should have walked straight through. She should have tried to forget the very awkward situation she had just experienced. But something seemed to be pulling her back. Maybe it was the curiosity, maybe it was just the alcohol. Probably the latter if she were being honest.

But, she turned, finding Marcus still stood in the same spot. And with a rush of courage, she asked, "Why do you keep me staring at me?" She almost surprised herself more than Marcus when the words slipped from her lips. At first, she had herself second-guessing if she had really just said them.

A moment passed before Marcus responded, "Because I think you're pretty." His tone was matched with a nervous laugh as his gaze met her.

"Then why didn't you just say so?"

He shrugged, "I'm saying something now." The boy took a cautious step closer, uncertain if he was reading this correctly. "And I'm sure Max told you for me, didn't she?"

A smile rose to her lips as she recalled the girl's words from earlier in the week. "Maybe." Y/n uttered.

"If you want me to stop, I'm sorry, I will-" He started to ramble as the thought struck his mind.

But, Y/n cut him off before he could get much further, "It's fine." She cooed with the flash of her smile once more.

He took another step and there seemed little room between them now. "Yeah?" He questioned, so close Y/n could feel the breeze of his breath.

She nodded, trying to hide the way her eyes had flickered to his lips. "Yeah."

They lasted a moment which such little space between them. It was like cat and mouse. Like they were trying to catch each other out. Like a game of chess. But Marcus gave in first. He closed the gap between them, his hand cupping her cheek as their lips met, molding against each other.

When they pulled away, they had the same expression, the same grins plastered across their faces. Their foreheads hovered against each other as Y/n muttered, "I should probably get this to Max."

He nodded as they stepped away and Y/n grasped the joint. "I'll leave this door open." Marcus told her as she slowly started slipping back out into the hallway. "You know, if you just happen to find yourself up here again."

"Sounds like a good plan." She stole once last glance at the boy before turning on her heels and wandering back down stairs.

Marcus was left staring at an empty space, all smitten and drowning in awe.

Y/n tried to hide the grin on her face she returned to the party. The music still blared and Max was still whining. "But I still love her!" The girl went on.

"Oh, thank God!" Exclaimed Abby as Y/n came into sight, jogging over to them and passing the joint over. "I'd ask what took so long, but I don't want to know."

"Were you making out with my brother?" Inquired Max.

Y/n played it off as well as she were able, "No, Max. No lips were touching." She replied, feeling a shiver as she thought back to the kiss.

Max hummed and leaned over, "Oh, yeah? Then why is your lipstick smudged?" And like that, with that bomb dropped, Max lit her joint and pretended as if she had said nothing. All while Y/n flushed pink.

[paper-mario-wiki]

hi, i'm not the person who asked you about the life update, but could you elaborate on how being a creator means to live in a world of ideas instead of the real world? i'm just really curious about your reasons for quitting, specially because i want to create things in the future (not necessarily streaming, but anyways), hope you have a good day!

i'll be talking mostly about streaming for the sake of this answer, but this is similarly applicable across a wide range of platforms:

the job of the streamer is, effectively, to be the life of the party every single day. your goal is to be the person that has something interesting to talk about, and is quick with a joke, and has nuanced understandings of certain things, without actually obtaining any sort of "expertise" in anything lest you alienate viewers. short of having a stated goal for a stream, the only goal of the streamer is to let people relax with a voice they enjoy, saying things they like hearing. you can become very strong in different aspects of streaming, like in the production, or as someone who focuses more on a skill they've honed like art or speedrunning, but the demographic of streamers which pulls, by far, the most significant viewership, is personality based streamers.

this becomes more complicated when, for example, you are very interactive with chat, or you stream with multiple people at once. now, to maintain this charismatic sway you have (the one that got you the job in the first place), you must be able to adapt to and bounce off of other people, as you are now no longer performing alone. naturally, there's a need to not only manage your own flow of consciousness, but also to be at least partially in sync with someone else's.

beyond these complications, you must also consider drawing in new viewership. when i was a streamer, i was quite successful, relatively speaking. pulling 300 viewers consistently is something a very slim amount of streamers can actually do, and even then i was still making under 50k a year, which is not bad, but also not good. in paying for my apartment, my insurance, my travel fare, and all the other stuff that living independently draws money out of you with, i was more often in the red than i was in the green. hence, the need to draw in new viewers, which cannot be done without something eye-catching.

think about this: there are, at any given time, TENS OF THOUSANDS of streamers live in your native language on twitch, and they are all FREE TO WATCH. the attention market is sparse because the streamer market is oversaturated. and considering all of THEM want new viewers too, everyone is constantly refining and improving their craft, which requires everyone to move creatively in tandem with each other lest they get left behind.

if you are a streamer making ass-dollars and ass-cents, it becomes easy to begin resenting people like jerma, solely because everything he touches seems to turn to gold. i personally found it easy to feel very disappointed in myself when peoples projects that seemed so simple would take off. it was a constant "why didn't i think of that!" situation, at least for me. and when you don't have the energy to keep that up, or the social stamina necessary to figure that all out while also being upbeat and happy in front of people near daily, it can become very draining.

what i mean specifically when i say the "world of ideas", is like. there would be times where i could schedule out my failures weeks in advance. i'd be so in my own head about the process, i could see the exact path i could see myself taking that would lead me directly to ruin. how playing games i actually enjoyed would steadily drop viewership, or how focusing on my studies would make people forget about me. and of course this is augmented by my anxiety, i know this is absolutely not the case for every streamer, but that overwhelming feeling of needing to find a new game to play, or a new gimmick to use, or a new ploy to get money that doesn't make you feel guilty even though your source of income is mostly queer and mostly poor young adults and your rent is coming up and you're $200 short but you also just had a fundraiser last month about a DIFFERENT emergency but you cant make it a bummer or else people wont want to tune in so you have to make it something fun like "you laugh you lose!" or "$1 art request streams!" while feeling nothing but anxiety while youre trying to sound like youre enjoying yourself even when youre asking 250 people to donate every 30 minutes or so and nobody seems to want to and chat is moving slowly and. and and.

well, it starts to eat away at you.

[y0ur-loca1-lyr3]

Alastor when falling in love/dating headcanons

A/N; my first time trying headcanons lol, hope I did well!

Falling in love

Let’s be honest, Alastor rarely actually likes most beings as a friend, let alone as a romantic partner

But when he does for either scenario, he has to notice that person as more than just some pawn for entertainment

Maybe you’re more socially intelligent, maybe you have more power, maybe you’re closer to Charlie, maybe all of those

But there has to be something that makes him see you as a threat to his power, or his control

Because of this when you first enter the hotel, he’s going to try to upstage you

If he can find a flaw about you, he’ll utilize that to the max

Think how he acted around Lucifer in ‘Dad beat Dad’

But when he notices you’re not going to be intimidated by him he starts to grow angry

If you really wanna ruffle his feathers just ask “uhm…who are you..?”

Not even in a polite way, just in a rude judgmental way

Oh, that makes his blood boil

When he’s not around you, at first he’s trying to get rid of you, take away the threat

But then you leave for a long period of time without notice to anyone but husk

And not even sober husk

So basically nobody really knows where the hell you went (pun intended)

The first maybe hour or two Alastor was like “good riddance”

But then for some damn reason he started to miss you

If you’re gone for more than one day, his mood actually visibly changes

Sure he’s still smiling, but he’s still a bit less motivated to do things

And he’s probably having troubles with coming up with ideas for his radio broadcast

Then you come back and he’s back to normal

It’s like his subconscious went “oh, cool :D”

But now that brings up another obstacle for him

As established before he wants any threats out of his way, but he somehow has grown attached to you?

This wasn’t what he wanted, no not at all

Now what was he supposed to do?

Even worse is the realization that he still has humanity

Humanity is weakness

And if some like say… Vox found out about this?

He’d be royally fucked

It takes a looong while for him to figure out that A. It was love, and B. Come to terms with that

Lots of avoidance and back handed comments

If you sat at the bar? He’d leave

If you tried to compliment him, you’d only get a short “Hm.”

If you invited him to talk with you, even just to get to know him he’d make an excuse

And if Charlie attempts to force him he will refuse/ escape in some way

Blowing up and asking him what his problem is won’t help either

He’ll sit there with a patient smile with petty thoughts, and justifications for his actions running through his head as he tried to appear unfazed

Until someone interrupts/ ends the conversation or you just give up and leave

He’ll leave while rolling his eyes slightly, muttering about how sensitive people are these days

Once he does finally come to terms with it, he’s less hostile around you

Don’t get me wrong he still avoids you like the plague because you’re his only weakness

But he’s kinder to you when he does interact with you

Maybe he’ll offer to pay for your drink before leaving

He might even leave a little box of homemade chocolates at your door, or give you some ‘leftover’ Jambalaya he made specifically for you to try

Little favors like that

Dating

It’s never really said aloud that the two of you are dating

It just was sort of agreed upon silently between the two of you

One day he invited you via letter to come skygaze with him at his radio tower

At first you’re kind of suspicious that he has an ulterior motive

But when you get there and you’re invited to sit beside Alastor, you realize he just wanted to see you. Why? You didn’t know, but at least his intentions weren’t ill

Then he crossed his pinky with yours

Nothing grand like kissing, he’s not too fond of physical affection

But just a small bit of contact

If you choose to interlock your pinky with his, internally he’ll lose his mind

It’s like confirmation that you feel the same way without verbally saying it

Since then everyone just sort of knew at the very least he cared a bit more about you

He’d frequently talk with you

Like how most people would interact with good friends

Except he gets a little more protective of you

There’ll be a shadow that follows you everywhere

Sometimes the shadow will tease a bit

Maybe pick up a piece of hair and then put back in place quick, or maybe brush against your arm, nothing harmful, really

Since he doesn’t really show his love through physical affection, he shows it through gifts or acts of service

Mainly acts of service

You’ll often go back to your room after a hard day to find your bed made and your pillows fluffed with a new stuffed animal on your bed

His favorite way to show his affection physically is by your hand

He won’t really hold your hand outright, but he’ll usually gently kiss it after saying something romantic

Maybe if your sitting at the bar, talking with Husk he will

When he’s feeling especially happy, or romantic, or he somehow got wasted, he’ll give you a peck on the lips, but that’s about the only time you two really kiss

He will cuddle if you ask to but otherwise he doesn’t really do cuddling

The first time you tell him you love him, even just as a quick goodbye, he’ll melt on the inside

If you look close enough you can see his eyes soften a tad bit

He’ll probably say “you too” if the both of you are in public, or something along those lines, but if you’re in private, maybe cuddling or as he’s comforting you for some reason

He’ll say it softly, and then most likely give you a small head pat, or if he’s getting really sentimental, he’ll give you a peck on the forehead

All in all, he does love you, he just sort of shows it in his own way that he’s comfortable with <3

[genshin-scenarios]

android au - personal assistant droids

Summary: In a modern-futuristic world, it's possible to create androids that are so advanced, they’re more or less human. There will be 5 android au posts total, each focusing on a different group! 

T.D.H. is a line designed to help busy users! They were intended for corporate higher-ups for personal assistant work around the workplace, but because of how attractive their designs are, it's not uncommon for regular people to save up for them to make their everyday lives simpler (and livelier).

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Kaeya, Zhongli, Ayato, Thoma

More like this: Anemo companion droids, Anemo droids who lost their previous user

To have Diluc as a personal assistant feels out of place, to say the least; his demeanor is a little too prince-like, or at least, you can easily imagine him as the heir of a corporation if he was human. So within the first few days you’re quick to ask him to address you casually - you don’t think your conscience can handle having someone like that treating you like a superior.

Diluc does prefer having some sense of structure however, so he still arranges your appointments and keeps track of everything else he was designed to do. He finds comfort in ticking off the tasks on his list, though he’s not sure why you request for him to wear fake glasses every now and then ‘for personal reasons’.

If you have guests over, Diluc makes a talented bartender! Though to your dismay (or joy, depending on you), he’d always limit the amount of alcohol in your drink or omit it entirely. Something about how he’d rather have you conscious even if your guests aren’t, and that if you really wanted to drink, you could do so once you two were alone.

‘Why, do you want me just for yourself, Diluc?’

‘...If that’s what you’d like to hear, I wouldn’t be opposed to taking that as an order.’

Childe is the kind of assistant droid who you never see actually doing work. He makes it seem like all he does is chat with people and dote on you, but you’re aware that once you aren’t around, he makes sure to run through his checklist and finish off the accounts for the month in his head. Such was the wonders of technology, to allow him to upload files to a cloud system without needing to physically type things down. 

He’s also very attentive, though you didn’t realize this at first because of how talkative he was. Distracted by his jokes and charms, you almost forget that Childe really is looking out for you every step of the way until he has his arm around you - not to flirt, but to keep you from bumping into the crowd of people on the street.

Childe is a good cook, but what he likes even more is asking you to taste-test his creations. While he can’t actually consume food, he has sensors on his tongue that allow him to detect flavors (very useful for when he’s buying desserts or snacks, and needed to try samples to see if they fit your taste).

‘A house-husband? Well, I guess that’s technically what I am. But don’t forget I can fight too, Master~’

Have someone you need to email or call but you really don’t want to? That's where Kaeya comes along to take care of your social interactions!

Jokes aside, he really is the most talkative model in this collection. Sly as he is, Kaeya isn't a stranger to figuring out which people or tasks you dislike, and rewards you with a gift after you finally drag your feet to get it over with.

He’s good at countering procrastination in this way, such as buying your favorite snacks or preparing a movie night for you when you get home. Kaeya sometimes dries your hair for you too after you shower, and quietly muses that you probably had a long day, when you doze off before the movie manages to cross the fifteen-minute mark.

Kaeya enjoys driving or escorting you to places too, knowing full-well he looks like a doting boyfriend when he does so. He dresses stylishly and would talk to passersby while waiting, telling them about this wonderful and super-important person… only to welcome you with the same amount of grandeur. He finds it cute when you half-heartedly scold him for it, saying he’ll make people misunderstand the situation.

‘What is there to misunderstand, Y/N? I thought you said we’d be together for as long as you lived? I was rather looking forward to that.’

An encyclopedia of knowledge, Zhongli has an elegant personality and voice that you could listen to for hours. He’s rather adept at keeping track of your accounting needs in particular, though you’ve learned quickly that he has a rather skewed sense of money when he spends it himself—you had to send him to buy last-minute groceries because you already started cooking at home, only for him to return with… way too many of the same ingredient, because it was on promotion.

That aside, Zhongli does emphasize the need to manage your mental and physical health quite a lot. He makes you medicinal teas and offers to give you massages quite regularly, though there’s nothing scarier than his offer to do chiropractic maneuvers at home… you tried to change the topic quickly after that, telling him you’re feeling great - so there’s no need for such a thing!

As much as he likes to ramble about topics that he’s interested in, Zhongli is an android that listens to you very well. He’d take note of information that might be useful in the future, such as things you said you’d like to buy or were curious about.

‘Today I thought it’d be beneficial to attempt an acupuncture treatment. …Just kidding. I heard that the flowers in the park would be blooming this season. Shall we go on a walk?’

Ayato's a little picky with his users. They don’t have to be rich corporate heirs or someone of prestige, but Ayato is an android with a personality that gets bored easily; he even comes with a warning label that he might get up to shenanigans if paired with an incompatible user, but once he finds a person intriguing enough, he’s loyal to a fault.

Sure, he still enjoys teasing you and keeping you on your toes, but for the most part Ayato practically sees you as the center of his world, though he presents himself to suggest otherwise. His work record is absolutely spotless, and sometimes he even predicts what you might request from him before you have to, getting it done while saying it’s all in a day’s work.

Just make sure you don’t let him cook unsupervised, as Ayato is quite curious about… experimenting with flavors, you could say. By which you mean he’d add the randomest ingredients into an otherwise normal recipe, which would sometimes be too adventurous for your palette to handle.

You realize just how much he dotes on you during one rainy day, where Ayato walks you home under an umbrella as he asks how your day was. In moments like that, his expression is just soft enough that you might be fooled into thinking it was love.

The perfect model for tired users, Thoma has a caring personality that warms the heart. Cooking, cleaning, and making sure you wake up on time? He's got it all covered!

Honestly, you don’t think your place has felt this homey until Thoma got here. During the first few days he asked you what you’d like out of your home - what activities you do to wind down, how often you work on your laptop, and other details. You thought these were just conversation starters at first, until weeks later, you started to see the vision of what he wished to give to you: 

A place where you could shed away the worries and expectations of the outside world. To rest safely and feel reinvigorated by the time you had to go out again - sometimes with Thoma in tow as he busied himself with self-appointed tasks (related to housekeeping). You realize after a while that Thoma views the upkeep of your home as a source of pride.

He likes to knit and crochet items for you whenever he has time, too. Little accessories to put on top of headphones, beanies, and even blankets to use around the house. Once, when the weather was unbearably cold and the heater wasn’t working, Thoma forgot his lack of body heat and attempted to warm up your hands with his own. 

[venus-haze]

Homelander x Supervillain!Reader Headcanons

Note: Mildly fem-coded reader, but no other descriptors are used. This is mostly from Homelander's perspective. I always thought it was interesting how apart from the "superterrorist" arc in season one (and into season two), supervillains aren't really a thing in The Boys universe, pretty much everyone with superpowers is affiliated with Vought.

Warnings: Violence, some mentions of sex, Homelander being Homelander. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Your powers emerge later in life, so you aren’t one of the many lauded child prodigies who accidentally burned down their own birthday parties or took out a school bus, but almost as soon as you spit at a cat-caller and the side of his car melted from the acid, Vought had its eye on you

Unfortunately for them, you aren’t interested in the slightest. The money’s good, but signing your life away to a mysterious corporation was never in the cards for you. Why let a bunch of suits call the shots when you were the one with powers? Pretty soon you’re melting bank vaults, wreaking general havoc, and living on the run. You love every minute of it

Homelander knows he can take you on, but to his shock and fury, he finds himself in a meeting with Stilwell and the marketing team who tell him that having a supervillain “arch-enemy” would further mythologize him. As much as people love having someone to root for, they’re just as intrigued by the evil thing that goes bump in the night. Besides, you mostly damage property, not people, so they figure you’re not too much of a threat to the general public

He thinks it’s ridiculous, not letting him laser you in half or snap your neck makes him look weak, or even worse, that you’re as strong as he is. The first time he takes you on, you spit at him as a Hail Mary, and to both of your shock, he hisses in pain and his skin blisters–comparatively mild to the outright bone-melting your toxin was capable of, but it cements your space in his mind as his arch-enemy

To his frustration, the suits at Vought are right, social media posts that mention you in regard to Homelander get a lot of engagement and the general public sees him even more as an otherworldly protector figure

You don’t have a supe name, but Vought dubs you ‘Rosethorn’ because you’re “beautiful yet deadly.” They slap your face on comic books that fly off the shelves. You find it ironic that Vought still finds a way to make money off of you despite your refusal to work with them

Homelander isn’t nearly as amused. The first time he sees one of the Homelander Vs. Rosethorn comics he sees red. “More like thorn in my fucking side,” he growls at the cartoonified version of you. He resents you for taking half of his spotlight, but part of him knows his resentment comes from the fact that you don’t have to answer to anyone. You do whatever the hell you want, and some people regard you as a kind of anti-hero rather than an outright villain. He doesn’t understand, you’re a criminal. You rob, cheat, and steal, and just because you hand out fistfuls of dollars every once in a while, you’re turned into some kind of underground folk hero? 

Social media is buzzing with theories that you’re actually a Vought plant to make Homelander look good or that you’re stronger than him and holding back. Naturally, people begin shipping you because of course they do. He has mixed feelings the first time he sees #Roselander trending on Twitter. It doesn’t help that sometimes you leave notes at your crimes scenes that read ‘Give Homelander my regards, XO’ 

Despite the internet frenzy and Vought marketing, you and Homelander have only been face to face a few times following the first encounter, each one giving more fuel to Homelander’s fire as he broods, stewing in his resentment toward you. You laugh at him, taunt him, literally spit at him, and he can’t do shit because Vought says not to

He definitely fantasizes about hate-fucking you, they’re all extremely deranged and elaborate. Overall, he has a lot of really complicated emotions when it comes to you. There’s some underlying affection that he’ll deny to anyone who asks. Sometimes he lets his mind wander, and in the ideal situation you’d reform and join Vought and–who the fuck is he kidding, part of him wants to break the invisible chain that keeps him tethered to Vought and see if the grass is really greener on the other side

Homelander decides he’s going to end your reign of terror once and for all when Vought indicates they want supes in the military. They now think your existence is just one of the barriers standing in the way of that, making the other Vought supes, but especially him look weak and incapable. With you out of the way, it’ll show their supes can handle military missions

Easier said than done, because when he finally corners you, ready to laser you in half like he should have all those years ago, he hesitates, and that’s all it takes for you to pounce

“Why do you let them tell you what to do? You’re stronger than them. Why do they call the shots?” you ask, and he doesn’t miss the conniving ass twinkle in your eye. He knows what you’re doing, and his gloved fists ball up at his side as everything in him screams to just kill you already. He knows you’re right. He’s the one with the real power, but he lets them order him around like a dog

“Shut the fuck up,” he hisses through clenched teeth that he wishes were clamped around your throat–except he doesn’t, not really. You’re giving him an out, but he can’t take it, he’s too afraid to. After all, who is he if he’s not The Homelander?

You give him a sad smile, the kind old friends give to each other in movies when they see each other for the last time. He lets out a shaky breath. He won’t miss you. He won’t even think about you once Madelyn hears what he’s done and he gets supes into the military and Vought a lucrative contract with the Department of Defense. Another success for Homelander

“I really do like you,” you say. “I just wanted you to know that before you kill me.” Your heartbeat is steady, gaze locked in on his glowing red eyes. No one’s ever looked him in the eye upon facing their certain death from him before

He grabs your face, resisting the urge to squeeze it hard enough to break your jaw, “You’re a real piece of work. I don’t answer to anyone, got that, Rosethorn?”

You whisper your name to him, your real name, and he repeats it softly before letting go of your face and taking an unsteady step back. “You owe me. I didn’t kill you, and now you owe me.” You nod in understanding before disappearing into the night

He returns to Vought covered in blood, claiming victory over his arch-enemy once and for all. He never played poker, but you’re an ace up his sleeve if he could ever have one

[kikikigrah]

unlikely duo

lando norris x singer!yn

summary: following y/n, an international superstar, invited by mclaren to attend the monaco gp. after that, it’s all go from there with a certain no.4 driver.

faceclaim: jazmyn makenna!

_____________________________________________

yourusername posted

liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 1,392,902 others.

yourusername omggg! thank you so much for having me @ mclaren this has been a life long dream. the little girl in me is sooo happy, and i had THEEEEE most fun! mclaren girl until i die. 🥹

78,628 comments

mclaren Guys shut up, y/n y/l/n is officially a part of the papaya fam! 🧡

liked by yourusername

user1 THIS IS THE CROSSOVER I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED!!!

—> user2 wdym girl y/n has been saying she was a fan of f1 since before you could talk 😭

user3 do we think she’s a lando girlie or an oscar girlie?

—> landonorris Obviously Lando.

—> user4 AGHHHHH HE REPLIED TO YOUR COMMENT!!

—> user5 Lando being messy as usual. 😭

f1 Was y/n here for us or were we here for her?

user6 she’s really doing every side quest to avoid dropping a new album.

—> user7 WE ARE HUNGRY GIRLLLL

user8 lando’s comment… let him cook.

—> user9 So true give y/n a good man for once.

—> user10 y’all are MADDD weird, they literally just met y/n went to ONE race.

—> user11 @ user10 they’ve been following each other wayyy before she went to this race.

—> user12 I’m here for it.

f1wagupdates posted

56,892 likes

f1wagupdates International music sensation y/n y/l/n was spotted in a club in Monaco with Lando Norris. The two were reportedly seen both arriving and leaving together.

8,397 comments

user8 I WAS RIGHT SHUT UP OH MY GOD.

—> user 13 Can you be right about a P1 for Lando next?

user14 how is she casually in a club in monaco without being swarmed with people this can’t be her 😭

landonorris uploaded a photo to their story

yourusername posted

Liked by landonorris and 1,003,893 others

yourusername monacoooo baby, best week of my life!!!! will be back asap <3

45,903 comments

user15 SHUT UP THE LAST PHOTO, LANDO WAS ON A BOAT TWO DAYS AGOOOO

—> user16 y/nDO IS REALLL!!!

—> user17 HOW IS THE PAPARAZZI NOT CATCHING THESE TWO?

—> user18 @ user17 just a normal day in monaco 😭😭😭😭

madisonbeer come back to LA girl i miss u 🥹

—> yourusername ily bby see u soon!

—> user19 y/nson stronger than y/ndo could EVER BE!

—> user20 WHERE IS THE COLLAB?

liked by yourusername

liked by madisonbeer

landonorris I’ll show you around next time?

—> yourusername if you’re driving!

—> user21 LANDO STOP ACTING AS IF YOU WEREN’T ALREADY DOING THAT!

—> user22 why are we being gaslighted rn.

user23 drop the album queen!

y/n_updates posted

liked by carlossainz55, and 973,893 others.

y/n_updates Y/n spotted last night in her current home city of LA getting cosy with Formula One driver Lando Norris who just drove in the Canadian Grand Prix. The two have been interacting on social media, and have been rumoured to be dating since they first met.

Y/n has not been involved with anyone romantically since her whirlwind romance with the rising star Jacob Elordi last year. Elordi is believed to be the mystery man she was referring to in her hit song ‘ballad of broken promises’.

Read more about the singer and her supposed new flame through the link in our bio.

69,683 comments

user23 WHATTTT THEYRE ACTUALLY A THING?!

user24 y/nDO IS CONFIRMED

user25 omg his outfit… girlfriend effect at its finest. 🙏

—> user26 still had to keep the cap though 💀

user27 jacob elordi to lando norris… they couldn’t be more different from each other 😭

—> user28 that’s what i was thinking, the height is the first thing!

—> user29 mother has amazing taste 😩

—> user30 @ user29 ik u didn’t just say that having listened to ballad of broken promises 💀💀

user31 THE WAY CARLOS LIKED THIS POST IM SCREAMING!!!!

—> user32 HIS BEST FRIEND JUST CONFIRMED IT HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

user33 CARLOS SAINZ STIRRING THE POT

user34 omg my girl has a man 🥹 i am so so happy for her if they are official

user35 Am i the only one who has never heard of Lando 😭

—> user36 UMM YES 💀

yourusername posted

liked by madisonbeer, landonorris, and 2,389,683 others.

yourusername i am super excited to announce that my new single ‘high-heeled sweetheart’, ft my bestest friend @ madisonbeer , will be coming out next friday! i had so much fun making this track, and i’m sooo super proud of it. thank u to all the beautiful ppl out there who keep making this dream of mine possible. i just want to hug each and every one of you. <33

and a special thank you to @ landonorris for taking the beautiful photo i now get to use as the cover. you’re incredible! :)

96,682 comments

user37 SO LAST NIGHT WE GET THE Y/N X LANDO PICS IN LA, AND TODAY WE GET A SONG DROP Y/N UR LIFE IS SO WILD

—> user38 AND HE TOOK THE COVER PHOTO

—> user39 i fucking love the cover but it’s so risqué, they are 100% dating.

—> user40 THE :) FACE OH I AM SICK!

madisonbeer my ANGEL!! I loved finally working with you

—> yourusername thank you for being here with me every step of the way madi

mclaren We will be streaming as soon as it comes out. 🧡

liked by yourusername

user41 the way she still hasn’t adressed the dating rumours, queen shit.

—> user42 she don’t need to, the pics are confirmation enough. 😭

landonorris y/n called me incredible, #winning.

—> yourusername lando norris noticed ME #winning.

—> user43 ARE Y’ALL GONNA COME OUT AND TELL US UR DATING OR DO WE NEED TO FORCE IT OUT OF YOU?

—> user44 MOTHER AND FATHER?

iamrebeccad Will be listening on Friday! So happy for you ✨

—> yourusername i absolutely adore you 🥹

—> user45 HIS BEST FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND IS EVEN COMMENTING NOW!

—> user46 oh theyre locked in.

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Akatsuki Headcanons: Halloween with their Darling

Featuring the Akatsuki and how they would spend Halloween with a Darling that loves the spooky season!

Itachi

Itachi is rather introverted and doesn't like parties or loud events. He could, of course, put on a smile and interact with anyone if it was for your sake, but he will be looking forward to being alone with you once again. Plainly put, he has no interest in other people.

He finds your excitement cute and might suggest that you spend a quiet evening in the graveyard, feeding the ravens and discussing horror movies and literature. It's peaceful, comforting and fitting. Oh, he just loves hearing your voice.

Truly, what could be more romantic than debating ghoulish matters among the dead and decayed? For Itachi it is a statement in itself, that your love prevails over everything. Perhaps even foreshadowing, if anyone ever dares to interfere.

Kisame

Kisame will be happy to comply with any proposal as long as you're by his side. That's really the only requirement for his successful Halloween. If you prefer larger events, he will dutifully keep suitors away and allow you to mingle with your friends. Otherwise a cozy evening indoors will suffice.

Now listen, when it comes to horror movies I’m sure the first thought is usually Jaws. But I had this picture in my head: watching Silent Hill with Kisame and getting him to dress up as Pyramid Head. If there’s a costume party happening, he’ll be right behind you in that bloodied up apron and great knife dragging along.

In fact, you could even go for a matching costume, such as Bubble Head Nurse. Kisame takes his role very seriously, so naturally once you’re alone he might just do what Pyramid Head does. You can tell he’s been looking forward to it once his imposing gloved hand is around your throat, grip tightening in anticipation.

Sasori

Sasori will be against any social event, so you better not pester him with any of those annoying Halloween parties. He does not care for it and he finds it an utter waste of time that could be spent with you instead. Why do you need the company of others?

If you must celebrate in some way, he’d much rather compromise on some quiet, cultural activity. Perhaps some museum exhibition, or a candlelight organ concert in a church. Even better, a horror movie at home so he doesn’t have to worry about perverts eyeing you.

I like to think he’d enjoy Tim Burton movies. They’re artsy and tasteful and a lot of the recurring themes might pique his interest. You’ll finish watching Edward Scissorhands and notice he’s been thoughtfully gazing at you for some time. Is anything wrong? Not really. He’d just been pondering that you won’t be allowed to grow old. He’ll make sure of it.

Deidara

Deidara is a thrill seeker and will absolutely share your enthusiasm for Halloween. Costume parties, haunted houses, amusement parks, you name it. He loves a good scare and might even compile an elaborate list of activities to make sure you have the best time. Truth be told, seeing you enjoying yourself might be the actual highlight.

He won’t mind, however, if you’d prefer a less intense evening. There’s plenty of things to do away from the crowd, such as pumpkin carving. He’ll do his best to impress you with his artistic skills, presenting highly elaborate carvings, often depicting your favorite things. He lives to entertain you.

If he thinks about it, this is a perfect opportunity to prove to you that really no one else compares. His love for you is unmatched. And as he likes to say, the holiday isn’t complete until it ends with a bang ;) (Had to make the joke)

Kakuzu

Ugh. Kakuzu just dreads the upcoming holidays. It’s all puerile, commercial quackery and he does his best to ignore the nonsense. Or he used to, at the very least. As much as it irritates him, your disappointed expression might be even more unbearable. He does have a soft spot for you, after all.

So fine, go ahead. Do your silly little Halloween shenanigans. As long as he doesn’t have to deal with other people. It’s really just the best for everyone involved. You wouldn’t want some poor soul complimenting your outfit to immediately meet their demise at the hands of your intimidating boyfriend. His patience might be thin, but when it comes to you it’s basically nonexistent.

Ideally it’ll be just you and him. Graveyards, horror movies, haunted houses, pumpkin patches, whatever your little heard desires. If he’s in a good mood, he might even be willing to don a matching costume.

Hidan

Given Hidan’s beliefs, he’s not very impressed by some pagan invention, although he does enjoy the activities that come with it. It’s his guilty pleasure. Especially because he gets to see you all dressed up.

That might just be the main reason, really. You. He loves seeing your excitement and would do anything to entertain it. He enjoys social events where he can show you off, but doing things alone as a couple is also perfectly fine. Okay, if he’s entirely honest, he would very much like to parade you around as his.

All the gore and the terror really gets him into the mood. By the end of the day he’ll be a starved man, and you can be sure that once he gets his hands on you it will be a bloody, scratching, biting mess. He’s probably the type to suggest you do it in a graveyard for the thrills.

Pein

Pein pretends not to care, but he is very much aware your favorite holiday is approaching. He’ll prepare weeks in advance to make sure he won’t have any paperwork or surprise missions. The day will be entirely dedicated to you.

He will either quietly follow you around to whatever plans you’ve made, like a loyal dog, or will conjure his own activities in case you didn’t expect too much productivity to be possible. Oh, the things he’ll do for your sake. Anything for a glimpse of that genuine smile.

You’re quite amused by the fact that Pein retains his serious expression no matter what jumpscares come your way. Impressed, you can’t help but ask him: “Is there even anything that frightens you?” And he won’t have to contemplate an answer for long. Naturally the thought of losing you. All the other artificial horrors pale in comparison. But you needn’t worry, he will never, ever allow it to happen.

Konan

Konan is only mildly excited about Halloween, but she will never say no to spending time with you. Additionally, it comes with the opportunity of doing arts and crafts as a way to relax. Forget buying decorations, she’ll be crafting the most exquisite garlands and ornaments you’ve ever laid eyes on.

She prefers to keep to herself. If you desire to attend a social gathering, she won’t downright refuse, but she’ll maintain her distance from the crowd and count the hours until you’re alone and together.

I feel like she would treat it as a spooky Valentine’s Day. She’ll show up with an elaborate gothic bouquet of flowers and a card quoting your favorite horror book or movie. “I have crossed oceans of time to find you”, as she lovingly once read in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. You’re her very own undying romance.

Tobi

You might think you’re excited for Halloween, but it quickly fades when compared to Tobi’s enthusiasm. Before you can even mention it to him, he will present you with a full itinerary of things to do together. He has been counting the days, constantly daydreaming of having all the fun in the world with you.

Similarly childish is his possessiveness. You find his little bouts of jealousy when you’re among other people terribly cute, as he pouts and tries to drag you away, reminding you dramatically that he’s your Halloween date. Only him.

Although you’re taken aback by his abrupt change of tone, when at some point during the night the silly threats turn into a deep, jarring voice demanding your undivided attention. Surprised? It’s a holiday of frights, after all. Perhaps he’ll show you how scary he can be if he wants to.

[when-november-ends]

witchcraft things

that didn't work for me

and why

- kitchen witchcraft

i love cooking and i love working with plants, however incorporating spells into my food didn't work for me. i got way too distracted by the spell part, that i completely forgot to make the food taste good. and as much as i love magic, it took the fun out of cooking for me. because now, cooking wasn't something fun where i could experiment with flavors and textures, it was something i had to put thought into beforehand. and i like to be spontaneous with my cooking.

- protection spells

protection spells seem to be the most important part of the witchcraft community. and i do think it's important to know how protection magic works, but it's also very unnecessary to have protections up 24/7 if you're not famous or have many enemies. i tend to forget about my protection spells, so they just sit on my altar, untouched for months and i forget to make new ones. hasn't hurt me so far tho, so i'll be saving those up for when and if i actually need them.

- casting a circle

not gonna lie, i tried that once and never again. it felt so pretentious to me.. like i was in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. and not in a good way. i stumbled across that practice on witchtok first, that was when i thought i was wrong for practicing my way and not how other people said i should. i don't think casting a circle is a bad thing to do, but it absolutely is a bad thing to do for me.

- bowl spells

bowl spells are one of my favorite kinds of spells because they're interactive. you put things in, you take things out. the energy doesn't feel stagnant and the spell is always working it's magic as long as you interact with it. ....but unfortunately my adhd made it very clear to me that those kinds of spells aren't something that works for me. i forget about them 5 minutes after i made them and they never get interacted with, so they don't do much of what they're supposed to. i would definitely recommend them to people who remember to take out and put in stuff tho, because the concept is great.

- scrying

gods, did i want that to work. divination is my favorite kind of witchcraft and i'm great at it! so when i learned about scrying, it was something i immediately got interested in and tried. i tried fire and water. fire worked a bit better, because the flames are dancing and water is reflective. that meant for me, i was always seeing things in it that were physically there, and couldn't concentrate on the scrying part. honestly i don't really remember why the fire method didn't work out, but i assume i got distracted really fast or lost in my thoughts.

- veiling

veiling can be done for many reasons. mine was, that i wanted to use it as a way to protect myself from all the different types of energy in public places. every person has their own life, with their own problems and their own current state of being. and since i have social anxiety, i thought veiling would be worth a try so that public places perhaps wouldn't get overwhelming as fast. well, that backfired because before i could try it, i realized i was trans and the head covering made me feel very dysphoric when i put it on at home. i never attempted anything similar again after that.

- ancestor work

i lost someone really close to me in early 2020. she wasn't a blood relative, but she was my dad's best friend, our landlord (who lived in the same house as we did by the way) and she saw me grow up since i was a baby. i was so desperate to try and talk to her. i tried to reach her myself, i asked other witches for help, but it never worked. after a while i decided to let her be, because the constant getting my hopes up and then being disappointed didn't help my mental health. i just wanted to know if she was okay now, but i think i just have to trust that she is. as for my other ancestors, i don't know anything about them and i am not really interested in finding out. i wasn't close with any of my great grandparents because we saw each other about once a year until they died. they didn't do anything wrong, but i don't want to force a connection.

- dragon work

damn. i really love dragons. all my life and with all my heart. and i truly believe that they are out there (not physically, like dinosaurs were, but in a similar way the gods are out there). i've done a lot of research on the topic, but my mental health got in the way. i don't have the concentration to reach out to them, nor will i be able to dedicate a specific amount of time to them regularly, which i feel like they won't like. i will try again when and if i get better, but until then it goes on this list of witchcraft things that didn't work for me and why.

[betterfettered]

Hi! So I was reading through some of your older works (which I enjoyed very much btw) and I noticed you mentioned that yandere Lucifer would want to marry reader (albeit against their will) which made me curious, so if it’s ok may I ask if any of the other brothers would want to marry their darling? And if so, what kind of weddings would they have?

Hey Anon! I'm glad you've enjoyed reading. I have a related ask to yours, so I'll smoosh em together and answer both

Could I request the yandere demon brothers dealing with an MC who refuses to have sex with them before marriage? Totally not as an excuse to get out of being intimate

Which ones ignore MC's request and which ones rush to get married ASAP and spend the honeymoon railing them into oblivion?

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(noncon)(somno)(violence against reader)(victim blaming)(gaslighting)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and rape, victim blaming, and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

As you mentioned, Yandere!Lucifer would want to get married, and I think he'd want a proper, traditional ceremony because of his status. You would have lessons starting months before the actual ceremony, making sure that your etiquette and behavior at the wedding is absolutely flawless. They'd probably be with Barbatos, who might be the only non-Lucifer social interaction you get (it depends). You'll be punished by Lucifer if you mess up or act out, unless you manage to befriend Barbatos so he doesn't tattle on you.

If you said you wanted to wait until marriage, Lucifer would accept that. His demeanor would be such that you wouldn't even think he is sexually attracted to you at all. That being said, once you are married good luck ever walking normally again, he's going to have ur ass using crutches. For weeks afterwards you will be (continuously) covered with bruises and hickeys, and cum will always be leaking down the insides of your thighs. Being that Lucifer is a sadist, in many ways this outcome is actually worse than if you hadn't made him wait because he's not going to slow down, stop, or have mercy even when you cry and beg for him to.

Yandere!Mammon, like all Mammons, would want the gaudiest, most tacky ass wedding possible. Everything will be platinum or gold, the cake is covered in platinum and gold leaf, his tux is crusted with diamonds, there are marble statues of him wearing luxury things everywhere. The gift registry would just say "Give us 2 million grimm" and nothing else. Despite the goofiness of his desired theme, he is thrilled about the prospect of being married to you, and would get really carried away by it. He'd hold you while saying once you're married, you'll be his and never leave the house again and wear a huge shawl when you go anywhere so nobody can look at you but him and you won't talk to anyone else because you're focused on your family.

He would promise to wait for marriage for you, and the speed with which he would break that promise would make you wonder if he every really meant it. He is really compelled by the need to mark you as his, and he thinks about it as soon as he's alone with you, so before either of you know it he'll have slipped his hand into your pants. Afterwards he would insist to both you and himself that you wanted it, that you'd been purposefully tempting him. He'll mention that anyone would do what he did, would need to fuck you as soon as they saw your body; that's why you'll need to wear concealing things once you are married to him.

Yandere!Levi would never admit it because weddings are for normies, but he actually would like to get married. Surprisingly, rather than the sort of cringy gamer wedding you're expecting him to want, he would want a traditional wedding like Lucifer. It's always been something totally unattainable in his mind, because he never expected to find someone who loves him. So it would be a dream come true for him to see you in your wedding attire even if you had to be forced into it - someone is really all his, just like everyone else has. That said, don't be surprised if the wedding colors are like, Ruri-chan's palette or his vows have not so subtle TSL references.

When you said you wanted to wait for marriage for sex, Levi wouldn't reply to you, instead just kind of sulk. In the days following you saying that, he would start groping you more, trying to pull off your clothing, putting your hand on his cock when he's hard. He didn't respond to you because he has no intention of waiting and will eventually resort to pinning you down and fucking you in every way he can imagine (that is many ways, reader).

Yandere!Satan doesn't really care for having a wedding. It seems unnecessary and overly involved to him on the face of it, and he doesn't really find the event romantic enough to make it worth while. He sees it as all about the people attending rather than you and him. If you wanted a wedding he would agree and play along, but he'd make it clear that he's doing it for you and not for himself.

He would agree to wait until marriage, but that means when he considers you both to be married, not you. He'll go with you to a courthouse and get the paperwork officially filled out, and once that is done he considers himself to have waited for marriage. If you think the same way, great! If not, he'll laugh at you with his close eyed, cheery smile because he finds what you said so ridiculous that it's a big joke to him. It will just make the things to come more fun in his eyes.

Yandere!Asmo will want the exact same thing as Mammon except if Mammon had good taste. Asmo probably married himself a few hundred years back (though once he realized that you and he were permanently in love he then divorced himself) so he has experience with wedding things and could do all of the planning, asking questions like which flowers you like and which drapes you like. If you refuse to help, he'll assume it's because you're grumpy and punish you with predicament bondage . For example, using rope to tie you to furniture in a way that if you stand on your tiptoes nothing hurts, but if you lower your heels because of the strain on your calves and feet, you pull the slack out of the rope attached to your nipple clamps and they get painfully tugged on.

To be frank there's no way Asmo is waiting for the wedding LOLL he'll make sure to make you moan and cum a lot so that he can point out how silly it was of you to try and resist him.

Yandere!Beel doesn't really want a whole big wedding -- he finds the long ceremony boring and hard to sit through without getting hungry, and the more important thing for him is domestic life with you, like waking up in the same bed as you. If you want a wedding, he will try to talk you out of it; if it's really important, he will agree but be mopey and kind of...out of his element.

Assuming that you're saying you want to wait for marriage when he's coming on to you, he'll just say "Sorry, I can't" and continue having his way with you. If you're announcing it another time, he'll tell you that he doesn't think it's possible for him and maybe cheer you up if you seem upset about it.

Yandere!Belphegor would want a wedding, but not a traditional one. Probably once he trusts you not to run away, he'd want to elope with you to see some beautiful nature, or just try something neither of you have done before. If he doesn't trust you, no wedding at all because there's no way he'll be able to make it through some long ceremony without falling asleep standing up, and he finds the whole thing to be a drag.

In response to you asking to wait for marriage, he'd probably dismissively say something like "Okay fine, sit on my face then. That's not sex." He'll try his luck that way about basically anything, including actually fucking you ("It's not sex if we don't make eye contact," he says, knowing that he will absolutely make intentional eye contact). He'd pretend to leave it up to you, mostly to see what he can get away with, but if you keep resisting he'll probably fuck you while you are sleeping. He likes the idea of you having a dirty dream because of this, and really enjoys watching the sleepiness quickly evaporate out of your expression to be replaced with shock/fear/horror/maybe all three and a fourth thing when you realize what is happening.

Did you like this, anons!!! Think I missed something? Have a follow up question?? I hope either way that you liked it~

Always taking more asks and requests uwu

[kedreeva]

Stories about human beings.

I've been down (understatement). And then I got a puppy. I've been looking for one for a while, and finally found a good breeder. The thing is, having a puppy unlocks so many social interactions. There was a teen girl who asked if she could pet him, and she had this hedgehog plushie that puppy loved. And she gave it to him! Just like that! It looked to be a comfort toy for her, the way I saw her cuddle it and hold it close before she asked to pet puppy, but she saw how much he loved it, and gave it to him! He still loves that hedgehog, he carries it around, tosses it, cuddles it, and I just... Yeah, there's goodness in this world. And then there's an old lady we pass sometimes, she's up on her balcony, one day she dropped a toy down for him. This little old lady went out of her way to buy a toy specifically for my puppy, and he loves that one too! And it was so kind, and I felt so warm. And a lady outside a bar looked at me and puppy and we talked lots, she SAW me, she might've been drunk, but she got something right, and she looked me in the eye and said: "Whoever you were before, you are who you are now." I'm trans, I have a huge bushy beard and I look like a bear. But she looked past it, I don't know if she figured it out fully, but she figured SOMETHING out. And my heart was just so warm, I will strive to remember those words for the rest of my life.

I'm getting out into the world. I'm getting to SEE the world. And it's beautiful, actually, it's beautiful and it's filled with so many beautiful people I didn't know existed. Suddenly it's all there, my eyes have been opened, and I can thank puppy for guiding me to this realization.

Stories about human beings. About goodness.

I live in Sweden, the common thing to do with strangers here is to pretend they don't exist. None of that is happening anymore. Some of my neighbors disliked me for some reason, I can only guess at why, but now with puppy, they've gotten to actually talk to me, and whatever dislike they had has been resolved, sure, one of them is still wary of me, and I can't blame her for that, I look the way I look, but she's looking past that now.

I'm just so happy. I'm so happy I get to see this, so happy to be proven wrong, to have it laid out clear as day for me that, yes, people are inherently good, no matter where they are, and I feel so wonderful that I get to see it for the first time in my life.

I just... wanted to share that with someone, share that I've seen, and I understand now, the beauty of it all, of humanity. I get it, and I cherish it.

It really is a marvel once you can see the love reflected in it

[haechanskins]

Intoxic8 - Bang Chan and Changbin (pt.1)

☆ note: this is my first post and my first writing after some great years, hope you enjoy! i would really appreciate if you let a comment with your thoughts

☆ genre: smut, fluffy at the beginning, toxic at the end

☆ warnings: this will be kinda messy, be prepared; f!reader, smut, bondage, choking, teasing, friends with benefits (kinda fluffy), friends to enemies to lovers (toxic), degrading, angry sex, hatefuck, persecution and maybe more (?)

☆ wc: 3k

click here to see the pool. ☆

clique aqui para ler em português. ☆

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"You really don't change, huh? Trying to get attention with these tweets?!" A notification popped up on the screen; my expression of laughter turned into doubt. Changbin. Changbin has sent a DM. "Damn, get off my back!" I thought before responding.

Changbin was my best friend and confidant; he knew that when I posted things like today, it was because I was genuinely lonely or had a lot of built-up desire, and to be honest, it was both. Our feud began when he was dating, and his ex didn't like me, going so far as to threaten me. Changbin, driven by the emotions of his past relationship, grew suspicious of me and distanced himself. Now, a year after their tumultuous breakup, I see him faded and completely empty. Even with no more contact between us, Changbin insists on tormenting and offending me whenever he can. We're no longer friends, we're not rivals either; in fact, we're nothing. But I know he harbors an incessant hatred for me, and personally, with each passing day, it becomes disillusionment. The feeling I carry is that our friendship was once unbreakable and beautiful; today, I see that our separation was laden with disappointments and caused me to lose faith in the gentle figure Changbin portrayed to me.

"You're really craving me, and you don't know how to ask." I replied and blocked my phone; if he thinks he can test my patience this time, he's very wrong. "Why would I want you?" he questioned. I wondered if he really wanted to engage in this senseless debate. "Well, you criticized a silly tweet of mine. Either it's desire, or you really have too much free time!" My message was viewed, and that was it.

Days passed since our interaction, and I continued posting on social media as usual. A phrase passed through my timeline: "I have boobs... and you have hands... I think that we can do something with that information." A momentary burst of laughter escaped, retweet! Not even 15 minutes passed, and the notifications started:

"You should stop this."

"Preserve the image that people have of you."

"If there is any, actually." - Changbin said.

"You again? I must be very hot." I sent with disgust. What image should people have of me? What do I owe them to need to maintain a dignified image?

"Yes."

The immediate response was a shock; Changbin doesn't usually yield or agree easily—something was wrong. He's proud, never gives in, and no matter how close we were for years, that would never change; it never did.

"You only confirmed something I already knew!" I replied and tweeted, "Being hot is a burden..." and then, in less than seconds, Christopher Bahng, my closest friend, responded: "True... I'm coming over, leave the window open!"

He was definitely the best in the world, both in advice and in bed. I never had and doubt I'll ever have an oral as good as his. Details aside, Chris always came to my house; after all, he lived at the corner of my street, already knowing where the stairs were to climb up, so he didn't even need to notify me. My parents didn't like him much, as sweet as the guy was, they thought he was indecent and always asked when I would get close to Changbin again. That's the conflict, a conflict of interests. The Bahng family has a network of cosmetic products, just like mine, in which Changbin's parents have a partnership.

"Are these hands okay?" Chris asked, appearing at the window and waving them as he entered. The purple LED light in my room illuminated part of his face, making his eyes even brighter than usual. "Did you really come just to fuck me, Christopher?"

"Is there anything more important right now? Only if you want, you know I don't refuse anything for a hottie like you." he said, laughing and lying down beside me on the bed. I nestled in his arms and began to speak. "Changbin called me... just to annoy me, I guess. He could stop hating me; the real reasons never existed," my voice carried a tone of sadness, not that I really cared, but it hurt in a certain way. "What did he say, love?" he asked, turning my face slightly, and our eyes met. It was like my home; Chris was my home, about to be destroyed without us even knowing. I explained everything, and he could only say, "I always knew he had some kind of repressed love for you." with a laugh and holding my face. "Seriously, you should try to meet and talk... a friendship of years isn't thrown away because of an ex-relationship. Besides, him invading your space out of nowhere is at least a lack of awareness and respect!" he said calmly. "I love you so much," I said, hugging the boy who reciprocated saying "I love you even more!" and planted a kiss on my shoulder.

At that moment, my phone vibrates, and Chris's curious eyes search for the device on the bed. He laughs and asks, "Why am I a jerk?" and laughs even more at my confused face. "Because your ex-best friend won't stop messaging you, saying I'm a jerk?" My jaw drops; it's impossible to have reached this level. Ten messages in a row, Chris laughed and talked about how desperate Changbin was while my anger grew. "I'm going to reply." I said. "Give me the phone" I asked, taking a deep breath. As he ran his hand through his curls, he realized I wasn't happy. "Hey, don't do this. There's no need to waste your time." I remained silent as the dark-eyed gaze of the brunette conveyed a comforting feeling. "I'm not offended babe, the anger is his... it's not your fault if he doesn't think about the consequences of his actions!" Chris was right, but I needed to take it out on something before I thought about it even more.

"They're good." I whispered, watching Chris's eyebrows change expression in confusion. "These hands are good!" I said, taking one of his fingers to my mouth, with little time for reaction. Chris had already pulled me by the waist for a hungry and electrifying kiss; every touch of his made my body shiver entirely, and I yielded to his movements. I sat on his lap, and soon his hands went under the thin nightgown that covered my entire body, his hands roamed my almost bare back, and his moist lips touched my neck. Our heavy breaths filled the room's silence in an exciting way. "May I?" he asked, bringing his hands close to my breasts. "You must!" I replied impatiently; one of his hands remained there, massaging, and the other was on my nape holding my hair. I rarely took steps that led us forward during the act; Chris had all the initiatives, but I had a billion-dollar energy running through my body as if my libido were about to explode. I stopped our kiss and stood up; a doubtful and worried look fell on me from his eyes "Do you want to stop? Is everything okay?" he asked. "Everything's great" I replied with a pounding heart. He sat at the edge of the bed and called me for a careful hug, but unlike what I imagined, I turned my back to him and took off the thin fabric I was wearing. I felt his hands touching my now exposed waist, pulling me closer. I turned to face him, and his eyes fixed on my breasts as if he were hungry. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, and his eyes met mine. "You're beautiful," he said "You're too beautiful" he repeated, emphasizing, and I felt my face start to blush. "You're sexy, and THIS" pointing to the clothes on the floor and to me, "is too much provocation!" he affirmed while pulling the edge of my panties and kissing my belly, moving to the thighs. Soon, I was again on the boy's lap, but completely naked, and he was loving having a complete view of everything. Abruptly, my back met the mattress, and Chris's mouth started to make a trail on every inch of my body, giving some love bites to my breasts every time he passed by them. He smiled openly and without stopping. Honestly, I didn't understand the reason, but I liked seeing his spontaneous and lively reactions, and for the first time, I felt an even greater desire to try more. "Chris?" I noticed him completely lost in the curves of my body. "Babe?" - "Yes?" he looked at me from bottom to top. "I want to try what you had mentioned." His expression didn't remain firm; he was excited but scared. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Absolutely, I think it's the moment" I said, and I saw his eyes darken like the night sky and shine like the stars that inhabit it. "We'll have to improvise, but it could work" said. "Under the bed, there's a box with yarn and also an old rope, does that work?" "Yes" he answered, already reaching for the box. Next to my bed, there was a desk, and in its drawer, an unused vibrator, I thought to myself for a moment. "We need to agree on something" he said "What?" I asked as the boy wound the yarn around his hand to make it thicker to tie me up. "Colors. Green means I can continue, yellow to go carefully or to change, red to stop immediately. Okay?" he explained, and I nodded. Chris and I had enormous freedom, so we talked about fetishes, random desires, impossible dreams... one of these fetishes discussed was BDSM, and it would be a lie if I denied that I had never felt interested or said that such topics didn't bring me a certain excitement. Maybe it was the way Chris described it, but curiosity was growing in me... less courage, but today was a different day!

Chris asked me to bring my hands to my back, and as gently as possible, he tied my wrists. The next step was to place the rope on my neck and run it down the length of my belly, then move to my back, and that's when the strands of wool came in, encircling my breasts and waist. During each knot, he showered kisses on my body, asking if everything was okay, and it truly was, everything was fantastic. After finishing the ties, his gaze changed, and his hand found my neck; our lips collided again, even hotter, and Chris displayed all his need right there.

"For the words I'm going to use, use the codes we talked about, okay?" he asked, and I just nodded in agreement. "I didn't hear that" he said authoritatively. "I want to hear you answering" he continued. "Yes" I replied, feeling my butt receive a strong slap. "Yes, sir!" he corrected. "Yes, sir" I murmured. "Good girl!" he exclaimed, turning me around and making me lean over the bed. "Decided to include your own toy here?!" He laughed, turning on the slightly vibrating object. Chris clicked the speed button three times and set it to the maximum. "Let's see how much you can take." He touched the vibrator to my clit, inserting two fingers into me. "You're so wet; did just that get you like this?" he teased. "Yes" I whispered, trying to contain the moans. Chris then reprimanded me with a look, and I corrected, "Yes, sir!" An involuntary loud moan escaped, "you won't moan or speak unless I ask you to" Christopher said "You also won't cum until I give permission" he said, and I could already feel my intimacy throbbing. The pressure to stay silent was difficult and disturbing in a way.

Many thoughts raced through my head with each act. My desire was to touch him or be able to touch myself when he stops just to provoke me—a discomfort in my wrist bonds begins, and then I physically understand the purpose, the tension running through the body, and the desperation to want more and more. The moans start to become uncontrollable. "I said you can't moan or speak unless I allow it!" Christopher said firmly, giving a hard slap on my butt, making me moan even louder. His look of satisfaction was evident; his smile was evident. "Please" I whispered. "You're entitled to three words. What are they?" Chris said, sitting me in front of him and putting his hand on my neck again; his hand was huge and fit perfectly there. "Fuck me now" I begged, and so the night went on.

☆————————☆

The sound of the door slamming downstairs made me wake up slowly. A familiar male voice resonated through the house. Due to sleepiness, I didn't recognize it and closed my eyes again. My parents never entered my room until 2PM to check if I'm okay, so Christopher spent the nights with me and left as soon as I went downstairs for lunch, knowing that no one would be on the side of the house where my room is. This started when I entered university, and on Fridays, I usually spent day and night in the lab, coming home very tired; there was no way to wake me up on Saturday mornings.

"I bet she'll be very happy to see you here, Bin" my mother's voice became louder, and steps headed toward my room. For a few seconds, I tried to understand what was happening. "It's a nightmare, it's a nightmare, wake up!" I repeated, pinching myself. "What's a nightmare, angel?" I heard Chris's husky voice enveloping me in his arms. Two knocks on my door, we looked at each other alarmed; on the clock, it's 8AM, the doorknob turns, but the door is locked. "And now?" I whisper. Chris puts his finger in front of his own mouth to ask for silence while my mother calls my name, saying, "Bin came to see you, said you talked and resolved things." Son of a bitch!

I see Chris's messy curls as he moves carefully around the room to get dressed, and I feel like I'm going to pass out from anger; if it weren't for this desperation, I would spend the whole morning wrapped up in him. "Your wardrobe makes noise; say you're going to get up and change into pajamas, and I'll get into it in case your mother comes into the room" he murmured in my ear. What a mess!

"I'll open it now; I need to change my pajamas" I said, following the plan that could go very wrong. As soon as I see the shirtless boy hiding among the clothes, I feel guilt and love; as soon as he settled in, he winked and smiled. I closed the wardrobe doors and opened the bedroom door, seeing Changbin with the most mocking face possible. "Long time no see!" Changbin said, hugging me as he entered my room. "Good morning, daughter. I'll let you talk."

"You're very shameless" I said, slapping his arm. "And you're attention-seeking, a slut!" he retorted. What did he come here to do? It made no sense whatsoever; it was a chaotic and utterly ridiculous scenario.

"Where is he?" he asked. "Are you kidding me? You come to my house, wake me up at 8 in the fucking morning, pretend we're settled for my mom's sake, all just to look for Chris? Who are you?" I shout without realizing, pushing him toward the closed door.

"Won't you answer me?" he asks again. "I want you to fuck off, Seo Changbin. Get out of my house." I said with disgust. Changbin held my arms and approached my ear, whispering, "Do you want me to fuck like you do with Bahng every night?" I let go, slapped his face, and opened the door in silence for him to leave. He laughed silently, stroking his cheek, and staring at me as he descended the stairs.

I locked the door again and opened the wardrobe for Christopher to come out. I was already in tears, and he watched every inch of my body to make sure everything was okay. "Hey, I'm here," he said, hugging me and planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'm here..." he repeated. That's how we stayed for a while until lunchtime arrived, and he had to leave.

Evening arrives, and nothing lets me stay still. I can't stop thinking about what Changbin did in the morning; it was madness, complete madness.

"Thinking about me?" the message comes instantly. Did he change his number?

"You're disgusting," I replied and blocked his new number. Soon, another message comes through Twitter.

"I know you're thinking about me!" he asserted and continued, "I just need one night to make you forget Bahng, the idiot."

"I don't want to forget him; I want to forget you. Leave me alone."

"What does he have that I don't?" he persisted.

"Do I really need to answer that, Changbin? Do I need to draw a picture of our entire last year? Do I need to say who welcomed me and who takes care of me every day? Fuck you, damn it!"

"Okay, then." And the conversation ended just like that, out of nowhere. I wanted to end him in every way; only anger ran through my body. I put on my headphones and fell into a deep sleep, only to be awakened again by light taps on the window. "Come in" I said without turning around. As usual, I feel my waist being embraced and feel comfort again.

"You'd accept anyone, wouldn't you?" The voice wasn't the only one that climbed my window every night; it was Changbin's. I jumped up in shock. "What are you doing here? What the hell is this?"

What comes next? What are your thoughts? 'Intoxic8' was the winning story in the poll and will be divided into two parts! I hope you enjoyed it so far ♡

[twin-disaster-tutel-brainrot]

So I wanted to write a short post about Splinter's relationship with Donnie, but I realised I need to give it more context, so here we are. This is going to be an analysis on the similarities between Splinter and Donnie, and how those similarities affect their relationship.

Let's start with the easiest example, given to us in "Breaking purple":

(sorry for the bad quality gif)

Donnie, as we know, isn't good at understanding his own emotions and expressing them, and he's also not that good at understanding other's emotions. This video essay explains his low empathy really well.

Donnie doesn't know how to deal with emotions, so he does the next best thing - looks at adult example and copies it.

Splinter, while loving his sons and wanting the best for them, is objectively not the best father. He was thrown into fatherhood with no preparation after being imprisoned for over a decade and turning into a rat. He clearly has depression, has no friends, no support system, etc. And the only reference he has for parenting is his grandpa.

So similarity one, they're not good at dealing with emotions.

The second similarity is they're both bad at lying. And, more importantly, bad at noticing when they're being lied to:

(Arguably, you can say they were all too focused on trying to get away with their own lie, but I digress.)

Donnie needs to be said stuff directly. He's shown to not get sarcasm quite often:

And Splinter is shown multiple times to be quite unobservant:

Like, this gif is from when he grounds them, and he just accepts that those four flour sacks are his sons and moves on.

Which leads us to the third similarity, of them both missing obvious social cues. Donnie because of his social skills, and Splinter because he's unobservant.

There's more similarities, like their love of dancing for example, but the reason I gave those similarities is because I want to talk about their relationship.

Splinter, again, wasn't a very good father. He didn't know how to raise his children, but you can see he did make an effort. They all never hesitate to hug him, to call him Dad, and even when they find out Lou Jitsu is their biological father, they never doubt his role as their dad for a second. Which shows that even though he was neglectful, he did have a positive impact on their lives. They love him, and he loves them.

But, one line stood out to me the most, and that's this Donnie line:

Why? Because Splinter always looks extremely proud of his sons, and it sounds odd that he never told Donnie he's proud of him. And we know he desperately want to hear him say it:

So Splinter never told him he's proud of him, but he's also going to say it three times in this episode, only finishing the sentence once when Donnie isn't close enough to hear. Not only that, but the first instance is because Donnie made him a booster, which looks like a very minor thing, so he has no issue saying he's proud of them even because of the tiniest thing.

If so, then why is Donnie missing the verbal validation so much?

Splinter is not good with knowing when to express his feelings and how, and he's not really observant. Just like he never actually said he's proud of Donnie to Donnie's face in this episode, my guess he never said it to his face in the past too. Like, he tried, but he never actually finished the sentences when Donnie could hear, and he probably didn't even notice.

I'm also guessing he used acts to show how proud he is (for example, the fact he didn't hesitate to choose the Turtle Tank for the demolition derby shows how proud he is of Donnie's work), but because of Donnie's need to be told everything literally, he didn't feel the validation from him at all.

I feel like out of the four turtles, Donnie has the rockiest relationship with Splinter. He logs every interaction they have, doesn't immediately trust him when he offers to spend time together, gets mad at him the most often out of the four of them, etc. But you can also see he loves his dad, and he outright tells him this in "Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man":

Anyways, I'm just really passionate about showing Splinter isn't just an abusive uncaring father, and showing that the turtles know this.

(Just learned there's an "alt text" option for images so I just removed the image id and turned it into alt text instead.)