#anyway sorry to vent here i just need to yell somewhere about this pain since ill likely never get any help for it

[thoustve]

dhhdgs. the debate on whether to make a doctor appt over this pain, or continue living with it because ill likely be ignored about it again……..

[storiesforallfandoms]

inspirational ~ corpse husband

word count: 1589

request?: yes!

“Hi! I was wondering if you could do a corpse husband imagine where the reader has a feeding tube? If you can’t that’s perfectly fine, I just haven’t been able to find one yet.”

description: in which the group plays with a popular streamer that has a feeding tube and corpse tells her how much she inspires him

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of chronic pain and cancer, also i only know a little bit about feedings tubes, i tried to do research in order to make myself more familiar but if there’s a lot of inaccuracies or anything i am very sorry i’m gonna try my best

masterlist (one, two)

Corpse listened to his friends shouting at one another to accuse each other of being sus. As usual, there was no use in trying to get a word in. Corpse spoke so softly that no one would even hear him unless they wanted to hear what he was saying.

“(Y/N)!” Toast suddenly exclaimed. “You’re being very quiet right now.”

“Because my damn tube is mixed up in my headphone wires!” (Y/N) exclaimed, sounding like she was far away from her mic. The group chuckled and continued with their conversation about who they thought the imposter was.

(Y/N) was a known Twitch streamer and YouTuber that rose to popularity when she started a series on her YouTube channel to show her journey through cancer treatments. Long before his own sudden boom in popularity, Corpse had watched all of her videos and became invested in her Twitch streams as well. Being someone who also struggled with chronic illness and pain, Corpse felt a sense of hope watching (Y/N) go through her treatment and still seem to optimistic in life and so productive in her YouTube and Twitch channels.

When Toast messaged the Amigops group to ask if anyone wanted to join his Among Us lobby with (Y/N), Corpse jumped at the chance. He hadn’t had much time to speak with her alone, but he was hoping to be able to tell her how much watching her content lifted him up during his worst times.

The meeting ended with no one being voted and brought them back to the office of the Polus map. Since they were playing with proximity chat, the argument from the meeting immediately continued with Rae and Toast warning everyone to stay away from Sean, who they were susing at the second imposter after already voting out Charlie.

Corpse watched (Y/N)’s pink astronaut run out of the office, silent amongst the chaos. He waited a moment before deciding to follow her, hoping he could meet her somewhere alone so he could talk to her.

He ran into O2 and noticed a pink bean in the boiler room stood by the water wheels. He ran in and stood in the doorway a moment before speaking.

“Hello (Y/N).”

“Ah fuck!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “Corpse! Don’t scare me like that!”

Corpse chuckled. “Sorry, I’ll warn you next time.”

“Are you here to kill me?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m okay with that. I feel like being killed by Corpse Husband in Among Us is like a rite of passage at this point.”

Corpse slowly approached (Y/N) to which she quickly ran away from him to the other water wheel. He laughed again before assuring her, “I’m not an imposter, you can trust me.”

“I don’t think I can, but I will choose to trust,” she told him.

“I actually came looking for you because I wanted to talk to you.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

There were so many things running through Corpse’s mind. He just wanted to blurt out everything he had thought about (Y/N) and her story, to thank her for giving him hope, to tell her what an inspiration she was. But his words caught in his throat and he struggled to get anything out.

Finally, he said, “What’s it like trying to be a streamer with your...with the um...”

“The feeding tube?” (Y/N) finished for him. “You can say it, Corpse. It’s not exactly a secret.”

He sighed, glad that she had a joking tone about it. “Yeah, with the feeding tube.”

“It’s annoying,” (Y/N) admitted. “Like...I’m assuming you’ve seen my streams or my videos but for the sake of anyone watching your stream who hasn’t: I have a nasogastric feeding tube, or an NG-tube, which is a feeding tube that goes in through the nose. As cliché as it is, just picture Hazel Grace from the Fault in our Stars. Additional cliché, I have it because I had cancer and the treatments left me so malnourished that I need a feeding tube even after I’ve gone into remission. So, because it’s tubes that are connected in my nose, I keep getting my headphone wires tangled in my tube or, very rarely, my mic wires, and it’s fucking annoying. It hurts like a bitch when I go to stand up and I yank the wires  by accident or something.”

“Does...does anything else hurt? Because of the cancer or the treatment or anything?”

“Not as much as it used to. I went into remission like nearly a year ago, so I’m doing better. It’s a process, but it’s had an amazing outcome in the end so I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I find you really inspirational,” Corpse finally blurted.

He felt his face heat up with slight embarrassment as (Y/N) giggled. “You do?”

“Yeah. I followed your series about your recovery and I’ve watched some of your livestreams every now and then. What always stood out to me was when you talked about the negative side effects of your treatment, and eventually having to put the feeding tube in and how you’ve found that effects you, too. Being someone with chronic illness and constant pain, I’ve also had those days where it feels like even getting out of bed is too much work and I don’t feel like I can stream or make a video, but then my anxiety tells me that everyone is going to forget about me if I don’t make some type of content, so it’s just an internal struggle when really I should be resting.”

“Being a content creator and having an illness is tough,” (Y/N) agreed. “It feels like you can’t take a day off. I sometimes regret making that series because on days that I felt absolutely awful, I didn’t want to film or edit anything, but I felt like I had to because so many people were watching. Ironically enough, that became the topic of one of those videos; I just sat in front of my camera looking the worst I think I’ve ever looked on camera and talked about how exhausted I felt just from being alive, but felt like I couldn’t rest because of my channel. That’s when I started taking longer breaks between videos and streaming. Your fans won’t leave you, not the true fans anyways. They’ll always be by your side even if you decide to disappear from the Internet forever.”

Corpse half smiled to himself. “I’ve thought about doing that sometimes.”

“It’ll be easy for you to do that where you’re faceless. No one would bother you even after you left the Internet cause they’d have no idea it was you unless you spoke.”

A brief pause in their conversation caused them to hear Sean yelling as he ran past the room. (Y/N) giggled and walked out of the room. Corpse followed, hoping to continue the conversation somewhere else.

“It means a lot to me that you think that about me, though,” (Y/N) continued as she ran into the storage room. “I find you pretty inspirational too.”

This took Corpse by surprise. He didn’t know how to respond. Sure, he heard that all the time from his fans, and it always meant the world to him to know that people found him to be an inspiration, but it felt different to hear that from someone he had looked up to for so long.

“I wish I could’ve been a faceless creator like you,” she said when Corpse didn’t respond. “One of my biggest regrets is probably showing my face online. Although, it wouldn’t make sense for me not to show my face when I’m making a series about cancer treatment, but people can be mean. Even when someone is struggling with illness or a disease, the Internet doesn’t care. Whatever makes them feel better over someone else feeling like shit.”

“I still get a lot of hateful messages even though I’m faceless, though.”

“You do, but you’re so unbothered by it. Publicly anyways. When I get messages about how sickly I look I get so overwhelmed with sadness and I just wanna delete my channel forever. I can’t even fake not caring because it really does effect me.”

“Stick with me, I’ll teach you my ways. My favorite is trolling the troll.”

(Y/N) chuckled. “I’d like that a lot.”

Corpse watched (Y/N)’s pink bean approach his black one. “I’m glad we had this chat, Corpse. It made me really happy, but now it also makes doing this a lot harder.”

Corpse gasped as a kill animation popped up on the screen and (Y/N)’s astronaut quickly disappeared into the nearby vent. He was stunned into silence for a long time, just watching his ghost floating above his dead body. To make matters worse, (Y/N) had closed the door to storage so no one would find his body unless they had to go in there.

Charlie’s ghost floated through the walls and came to float next to Corpse’s. “Figured out Jack wasn’t the other imposter, huh?”

“Yeah,” Corpse said, laughing. “She really had me fooled. Buttered me up with compliments then killed me.”

“I taught her well,” Charlie comments before floating away again.

Corpse couldn’t help but laugh about the situation. He wasn’t mad, more impressed than anything. And he was a little happy; he got to talk to someone that had always been an inspiration to him and he made a new friend.

[attllhak]

Adoption AU - Wild and Warriors: The Epic Quest For Taco Bell at 3 am

@tortilla-of-courage so you mentioned you’d be interested in my Adoption AU one-shots, and now that things have calmed down in my house a bit I figured I’d post the first one-shot I wrote; the one about Wild and Warriors going for a Taco Bell run. Theoretically, I was going to do a one-shot for each grouping of boys, as an introduction, but I don’t think that’s happening anymore. Either way, here’s the first thing I wrote!

(And, anyone else who would like to be tagged if/when I post more for this AU, let me know here and I’ll make a list or something)

---------------

“anyone know any good substitutes for love and personal fulfilment?”

Warriors sent the tweet without much thought. He didn’t actually care about an answer, he just felt like venting about his most recent break up in a vague way, and thought he was being funny. He could already see Legend rolling his eyes.

His phone dinged a few times, one reply from Twilight, asking why he was up so late (which he’d responded to with the same inquiry, which had Twilight going silent), one from Legend mocking him, one from Hyrule trying to actually help. He was surprised how many of his brothers were up at this hour.

He dropped the phone on his bed, rubbing his eyes. He wasn’t actually all that tired, probably a consequence of having all afternoon classes and a habit of leaving his work to the last minute. Eh, the first year was supposed to be mostly parties anyways. (Not that Time would ever find out he said that.)

His phone dinged again and he groaned, eying the clock and the small bottle of melatonin next to it. 2:43 am. He should sleep. He didn’t have anything tomorrow, he finished his last final earlier that afternoon, though, so a few more minutes couldn’t hurt.

He picked up the phone and woke it up again. He blinked a few times at the new reply.

“crunchwrap supreme from taco bell”

He ignored Twilight yelling at Wild for being up, as apparently Wild did have a final tomorrow still. Not that Wild was paying any more attention.

He snorted, hitting the like button on Wild’s tweet and clicking off his phone. He reached up to stretch, yawning as he did. He eyed the melatonin bottle again. Technically, he didn’t need the supplements to sleep, but with how messed up his sleep schedule was, they did help him knock out when he planned on sleeping at a reasonable hour. This wasn’t a reasonable hour, but sleepiness hadn’t set in yet either.

Before he could decide, his phone lit up with a text notification. He tilted his head back and pointed his phone down to look at instead of dropping his arms.

Gordon Ramsey 2:44 am

lets go

Warriors blinked once. Then again. He unlocked his phone to type back.

what?????? go where?????

A second passed when he got a reply.

taco bell

for your substitute for love

since you got dumped and need something

oops was that too soon

sorry 

Warriors blinked at the screen again. Wild lived twenty minutes away from the university Warriors was attending, and the nearest Taco Bell was no closer. Plus, Time had revoked Wild’s driving privileges after he crashed his bike into the barn and broke both and his arm. There was no way Wild was getting to the university, much less a fast food joint. Especially at this hour.

and how do you plan to do that? You aren’t allowed to drive yet Mr. Broken Arm

you have a care

*car

That was a very good point.

you are suggesting that I drive 20mins outside of town to pick you up, drive another 20mins back into town, then drive around downtown until we find an open taco bell, at 3am on a school night before you have a final?

There was a few seconds pause, just long enough for Warriors to consider that he’d given up on it.

no

we wont be driving all over town

i googled it and found one

its like 10mins form your collage

*from

*college

Warriors considered that.

twilight won’t be happy

only if he finds out

Wild made a very good point.

how do you plan to get out of the house without him noticing?

i have a window war

The response was so immediate, and he was probably sleep deprived enough, that he burst out laughing when it sent.

20mins

He clicked his phone shut and shoved it in his pocket, grabbing a jacket and his scarf on the way out of his room. He was struggling to shrug them both on at once when he realized his roommate was still up too. There was a tense staredown as their eyes met and they both froze.

Volga broke the standoff by closing his book. “And where are you going at this hour?”

Warriors considered that. “My brother bribed me with food to break him out of the house,”

“At,” he glanced at his watch, “two forty-nine am?”

“Yes,”

The silence was tense.

Volga sighed and opened his book again. “Don’t crash and die, I’d hate to have to get a new roommate when I’ve finally gotten used to you,”

“Don’t burn the dorm down while I’m gone,” Warriors joked back, finally getting the fabric to work with him.

“It happened once, and it’s not like you’re any better at cooking!”

“I don’t set what I make on fire, and then freak out and throw it when blowing out that fire doesn’t work,” he grabbed his keys from the dish by the door and waved behind him.

“It happened once, Link!”

“And it’s why we order out now,” he grinned, ducking out the door. “See you later, Volg, be back in an hour or so,”

He could hear Volga’s angry shout through the door, so hurried down the stairs to the ground level as quickly as he could, before Volga woke their neighbor again.

He was still giggling when he got to the parking lot. Volga was just too easy to rile up.

The cool night air woke him up a little more so, and he took a deep breath as he located his car. A hand-me-down vehicle, he inherited it from Time when he was old enough to drive. Mostly this was so he could stop asking everyone else for their cars when he wanted to go somewhere. A little elbow grease however, and no one could tell it was at least 20 years old and not fresh off the lot. He made sure none of his brothers were allowed to drive it, especially after Wild got his bike stuck in a tree, or Legend crashed into a lake, or Twilight picked up drag racing, or Wild got his bike stuck on the roof, or Hyrule lost his car, or Four rolled his truck, or Wild and the barn literally last week. A lot of the crashes in the family came from Wild going ‘oh yeah? Watch this!’ now that he thought about it. It was a miracle he still had the same bike.

The twenty minute drive to the farm was pretty boring, nothing of note really happening.

He turned off his headlights as he pulled into the drive, not wanting to wake anyone, especially Time, up. He shot off a quick text to Wild when he parked.

A window opened and Legend’s head poked out to glare at him. His phone dinged.

Royal Pain 3:12 am

what are you doing here?

He glared back at Legend and typed out a response.

taco bell run

Legend glanced down, presumably at his phone, then back up a Warriors with an incredulous expression.

at 3am????

and if so why are you /here/????

Warriors pointedly looked around the house where Wild emerged from the bushes. Said brother grinned and popped open the passenger door to climb in.

“Hey,” he grinned. His hair was a mess, with at least two visible sticks stuck in it, and he was still in his sleep clothes. Despite this, he seemed fine.

“Legend has us made,” Warriors nodded to their brother, who was still glaring with his head out the window.

Royal Pain 3:15 am

twilight won’t be happy about this

Warriors frowned, trying to shield his phone from Wild as he typed back.

twilight won’t know

Warriors did not like the look in Legend’s eyes as he got the next text.

unless i tell him

Warriors glared up at his brother, working his jaw.

what do you want?

He hated the pleased grin Legend shot him.

the most expensive thing on the menu on your dime

fine

Warriors shoved his phone away with a growl, flipping off the overly smug Legend as he put the car in gear. “Asshole,” he muttered.

“What was that about?” Wild asked.

“We’re buying him food too now,” Warriors growled, flicking back on his headlights.

“Oh, cool,” Wild leaned back into the seat and pulled out his phone. “So the Taco Bell we’re going to only has the drive thru open, and it’s just off main street,”

Warriors nodded, focussing on the road and not that Wild had found the aux cord.

About thirty minutes later, as Wild finally turned down the music to provide directions, he snapped and turned to Warriors mid direction. “Do you want to sign my cast?”

Warriors blinked. “Maybe when we stop, I’m not crashing to sign your cast right now.”

Wild nodded, and pointed across Warriors at the street they had to go down.

They pulled into the drive thru and ordered, then had to wait for the very expensive thing Legend wanted. Warriors turned to Wild as the car idled.

“Do you have a marker?”

Wild blinked at him, then brightened up and offered out a sharpie and his right arm. The cast, under the signatures and well wishes of their family and all of Wild’s friends, was painted in very poorly drawn flames. Warriors raised an eyebrow as he searched for a clear spot to sign.

“Hyrule painted it for me,” Wild explained with a grin.

“Ah,” Warriors hummed as he finally tracked down an empty space by Wild’s elbow.

He scrawled out his name, not much room for anything else, and then handed the capped sharpie back to Wild while he twisted around to accept the food from the drive thru worker.

He shot off a text to Legend to let him know they had his food, alongside an upset emoji. Legend sent him a devil face emoji back. Wild dug through the bag for his food, sharpie stuck in his hair alongside the twigs, which seemed to be multiplying.

Warriors rolled his eyes and pulled back onto the road.

At some point, Wild pulled the wrap out and handed it to Warriors, who ate one handed as he drove. Wild was right about one thing, the wrap did taste very good.

He pulled into the drive of the farmhouse, headlights off, just as he finished off the wrap. He phone dinged the second he put the car in park.

Royal Pain 3:58 am

where’s my food bitch

Warriors looked up to the window where Legend was leaning out and glaring at him.

Wild laughed at the surly look on Legend’s face, climbing out and taking the bag with him. “I’ll feed him,” he promised, grinning. “Thanks for the trip, War!”

“No problem,” Warriors grinned back. “Just make sure you get to bed once you’re inside, so Twi doesn’t suspect in the morning,”

Wild gave him a thumbs up. He shut the door a little too hard, making Warriors wince, and bounced up to throw the bag up to Legend. Legend caught it the second time, when Wild opted to use his not broken arm to toss it, and disappeared inside again. Warriors’ phone dinged again a few seconds later.

Royal Pain 4:00 am

thanks pretty boy

your secret is safe with me

for now

Warriors rolled his eyes and sent him a thumbs up back, then pulled out of the drive again to head back to campus. He was actually starting to feel tired now, so he figured he’d get home and just crash. It’d be like, 4:30 in the morning by then, and he was pretty sure Volga would be asleep. And if he wasn’t, they had a rule that after 4 am until 7 they were allowed to ignore each other, so it’d be fine.

Volga was asleep when Warriors snuck in, passed out in a chair with the book on his chest. Warriors took the sight in, then sighed.

He dropped his keys in the dish, then pulled off his jacket and scarf to hang in his room. He grabbed a bookmark off his shelf and wandered back out to pull the book off of Volga’s chest and set it down so the spine wouldn’t crease. He left Volga like that, however. He didn’t want the books to get damaged, but if Volga was dumb enough to fall asleep in the common room without a blanket, then he deserved what he woke up with.

He was very lucky that Warriors was too tired to find a sharpie.

He fell asleep before remembering to take off his shoes.

(---)

The next morning, so about noon, he was woken by Volga pounding on the door to put his phone on silent.

His phone buzzed on the desk next to him and he pulled it off and up to his head, hitting answer before looking at the contact.

“Hullo?” He slurred, still half asleep.

“Twilight knows,” Legend greeted him.

“What?” Warriors sat up, groaning as his back complained from sleeping on his stomach all night. It took a second for his brain to catch up.

“Twilight knows,” Legend repeated. “Hyrule sold you out, unintentionally, and I can hear him selling you both out to Time,”

Warriors blanched as the words registered. “Oh shit,” he threw himself out of bed, hissing as he realized he slept fully dressed, and scrambled for the things he’d need in order to flee. “How long?”

“Twenty minutes if you get lucky and Wind pulls through, less if not,”

Warriors cursed under his breath as he changed his shirt and tried to make it look like he hadn’t been sleeping in what he was wearing. “Thanks for the heads up, I’d say I owe you but,”

“You’d rather not owe me,”

“Yeah,”

“Look, if you get caught and cave, I go down too. This is self-preservation. Don’t cave and we’re even.”

“Got it, I won’t,”

“You better not,” Legend hissed. “Good luck,”

“Thanks,” Warriors nodded, even though Legend couldn’t see him.

He tossed the phone on his dresser as the line went dead and he went about trying to comb through his hair so he looked presentable.

A hard knock on his door came a few seconds later.

“I put my phone on vibrate, Volga!” He shouted through the door. “You can drop it now!”

“Link?”

Warriors paused, then opened the door. Lana, Impa and Artemis waited on the other side, Volga glaring at them and hovering behind them.

Warriors blinked dumbly at them. “Uh, hi?”

“Hi Link! Good morning!” Lana grinned and waved at him.

“It’s noon,” Impa reminded the group, eying Warriors up and down.

“Oh, right,” Lana nodded, then went back to grinning at him. “Good noon, Link!”

He snorted and shook his head to clear it. “Good noon to you too, Lana. Can I ask what you’re all doing here?”

“We were hoping you’d join us for something,” Artemis smiled at him, also looking him over, trying to find whatever Impa had picked up on. “We’re going on a small road trip since all our finals are over, and we were planning on hitting a few different cities over the week,”

“Mhm,” Lana nodded quickly. “We’re leaving today, and are taking no calls until we get back, and we’re camping in the car, which is why we’re using my van, and we were hoping you’d come with us,”

“I’m in,”

The three girls blinked at him. Maybe he answered too fast, but taking no calls, meaning no contact with his family, for a week gave them time to move past this, and he really didn’t want to deal with a lecture from Time. His friends just offered him asylum, whether they knew it or not.

Impa narrowed her eyes. “What happened with your family?” She asked, already onto him.

“Nothing that’s my fault,” he responded, ducking back into his room. “What should I bring with?”

Lana listed off what they figured they’d take and he pulled out a suitcase, nodding along as he started packing. He fired off a text to the group chat as he grabbed his jacket, tossed over one arm, and wrapped his scarf around his neck.

World’s Best Captain 11:39 am

Leaving on a road trip with some friends. Be back in a week, but I can’t take calls until I’m back. Don’t kill each other!

He put his phone on silent and slipped it into his pocket.

He might have a hellish text backlog when he got back, but it’d be better than the lecture from Time. And besides, he got to spend a week with the best girls he knew.

As far as he was concerned, everything worked out win-win for him.

Wild was right, the crunchwrap supreme from Taco Bell did work wonders in supplying love and personal fulfilment, even if not in the way he meant it.

He made a note to get Wild something as thanks while they were out. Maybe some crash pads. Goddesses knew that his brother needed them.

[fantasticstoryteller]

New Dynasty Chapter 44

Arachne dutifully brushed her teeth at one of the sinks. In this, she was better than most of the others—mostly because it was important to both Peter and Wade that she brush her teeth at least twice a day. She wasn’t sure why—she didn’t think it was even possible for her to get cavities—but she always brushed in the morning and again before bed. Sometimes, depending on circumstances, she even brushed after lunch.

“Hey,” one of the girls behind her said. She calmly rinsed her mouth. “Make us a jump rope,” the girl ordered.

Arachne rinsed her mouth out three times (Wade said three was a magic number), wiped her face and turned to look at the other girl. “No,” she said calmly.

The other girl was taken aback. “What do you mean ‘no’?” she demanded. “You spin webs all the time! It can’t be that hard to make a jump rope!”

“When you want something,” Arachne said, “you have to say please. You didn’t.”

“I don’t need to say please,” snarled the girl.

“You do if you want a favor from me,” Arachne said firmly.

“Hey, hey!” called Kitty as she came into the bathroom. “What’s going on here?” she asked looking between them.

The other girl pointed at Arachne. “She won’t make us a jump rope!”

“You won’t say ‘please’,” Arachne said back.

“First of all,” Kitty said looking between the two children, “it’s bed time. You shouldn't be pulling toys out. Second of all, we have jump ropes. What’s wrong with the ones we have?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “They’re all put up, duh,” she said.

“Because it’s bed time,” Kitty said firmly. “If you’re done brushing your teeth, let’s all get into bed. Arachne, Colossus wants to see you in the courtyard for a moment, if you’re almost ready for bed.”

Arachne nodded and walked off to the courtyard. She saw the large metal man staring up a tree at a pretty webbed nest. It sparkled in the fading light. “Kitty said you wanted to see me?” asked Arachne as she looked at the thing. She took in all its details trying to figure out how it sparkled like that. Maybe she could make sparkly webs too. That would be nice.

“Ah, Arachne,” said Colossus. “Could you pull down your web for me?”

“That’s not one of my webs!” Arachne protested. “It’s too small!” It was—it wasn’t even big enough for just her and she always made her webs big enough for at least two people.

“I see. Will you take it down anyway?” asked metal man. “It’s blocking one of our security cameras.”

“Okay.” Arachne climbed the tree and reached out to grab a strand of webbing. “Ouch!” she said at the sudden sharp pain in her hand. She pulled it back to see lines of red where the webbing she had touched drew blood.

“Arachne? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just surprised.” The lines on her hand became shallow and healed leaving her to scratch off the scabs to show the healed skin beneath them. “I’ve never dealt with sharp webbing before.” She climbed up to one of the anchor points of the web.

“Did she just say the web is sharp?” a voice asked.

Arachne ignored it. Colossus, one of Wade’s friends, had asked her to get this web down, and she was going to get it down. She reached out to the anchor point—and hissed as the web cut into her hand again. She couldn't touch it without getting hurt. Very well—she wouldn't.

A moment later her hand was healed again and she snapped the branch the web was attached to.

“Arachne, what are you doing?” called the new voice.

“I can’t touch the web, so I’m pruning the tree!” the girl called back as she scrambled up and around to the top most anchor point. She snapped that branch as well and the web cut through the wood as it sagged against its last anchor point.

“Be careful!”

Arachne looked down—to see that there was a teacher, a man with dark sunglasses, staring up at her. “Don’t stand under it!” she told him. “It’s dangerous!” She waited until he moved back before snapping the last anchor point. The web crashed down, slicing through everything as it went. She climbed down and glared at the web. “That is one nasty web,” she growled.

“Yes,” said the man. “And it sliced through the camera.”

“It what?” Arachne looked up to see that one of the things the webbing sliced through was, indeed, a camera. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” the man said as he put a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll just post an extra patrol tonight, and that should cover everything. Go inside and get ready for bed.”

Arachne nodded and went inside. Ignoring the other girls she made a nest on the ceiling and climbed into it. Then she got down and grabbed her stuffed unicorn.

“You’re not allowed to do that!” said one of the other girls. Arachne ignored her.

“Yeah, you have to sleep in a bed, just like us!” said another.

Arachne did something she’d never done before. She webbed the open part of her nest shut sealing her into a cocoon of webbing so that she wouldn't have to hear the others any more. She curled up around her unicorn and hoped that Wade and Peter would get back soon. She wanted to go home.

Shortly after she fell asleep a pair of hands reached through the webbing and pulled her out. Arachne’s arms automatically thrashed and Kitty said, “Sh, sh,” desperately. The little girl looked up at the older girl with wide eyes as she heard odd popping noises in the background. “Come on,” she whispered. “The mansion’s under attack and we need to get to the safe place.”

Arachne remembered the talk. The safe place was in the basement—a fortified room that nothing could into. It even had its own air cycling unit. “What’s going on?” Arachne asked as she clung to Kitty.

“Going somewhere, little X-Man?” drawled a voice. Kitty whirled and Arachne saw a woman. She was tall and her long hair hung like a ribbon down her back. Kitty began to tremble with fear.

Kitty was a nice person. She didn’t yell, she always explained herself, and she never assumed that Arachne was wrong. So—the woman that Kitty was afraid of couldn’t be a nice person and Wade had told her to never let bad people have what they want.

Arachne twisted and Kitty, surprised at the action, let the girl drop to the floor. She looked at the woman, who laughed. “Good girl,” purred the woman. “Now, come with me.”

“No.”

The woman’s face twisted with rage and looked like one of the mean people's faces when they were upset about something—and it made Arachne mad. They had no right to be here, no right at all! The woman took a step forwards. “You will come with me.”

Arachne spun webbing at the woman, yanked it to the side so that it stuck to the wall, and then finished webbing the woman there. “No,” she repeated firmly. More people ran down the hall and she kept herself between them and Kitty. Of the two of them, she was the durable one. The Bad Place had proved it.

Remembering what Wade told her, she danced around the attack the man launched at her, the bullets missing her by inches and punched him.

“Half strength. Full strength could kill them.”

At the last moment she pulled back. The man gasped as his lower region turned to jelly only in shape because of his skin. As he collapsed Arachne ran back to Kitty, grabbed the older girl, and scaled the wall into the vent.

Kitty tapped her leg. “This way!” she hissed as she turned around. Arachne turned and followed her. As they were crawling Kitty almost ran into Sasha and Brian. “Turn around,” she hissed. “No, left.” Kitty led the three of them to a room. “It’s okay,” she told them as she dropped out of the vent. “This room doesn’t connect to anything but the air vents.”

“How did you even find it?” asked Brian as he and Sasha dropped out of the vent.

Kitty smiled grimly. “I’ve lived here since I was twelve. You wouldn’t believe how many times this place has been rebuilt.”

“What are you doing here?” demanded Sasha. Kitty whirled to see that she was confronting Arachne.

Who didn’t back down. “Same reason you’re here,” she said. “We needed to get away.” She stopped and blinked. “No,” she said suddenly. “We don’t need to get away. We need to save them!”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “We can’t save them,” she said.

“We have to try!”

“Why should we?”

“Because we know what will happen if we don’t.”

Watching the two children glare at each other Kitty realized there was a lot about these children she didn’t know. She had no idea what they were talking about. Something about this conversation was more adult than children this age should be able to have.

“What about the adults?” All three girls looked at the boy. “Kitty says this place gets rebuilt a lot right? That must mean the adults are used to it getting attacked. I bet if we get the adults free, they can save everyone else.”

Sasha seemed to think that over. “Well,” she admitted slowly, “yeah. That could work. Totally. Okay, first we need to know the layout of the mansion.”

“There are fire escape plans on every floor with the blueprints,” Arachne said. She spun a web at the ceiling and hauled herself up. “I’ll go get one.”

“See if you can figure out what they’re doing with everybody!” Sasha called back at her. “Planning a rescue isn’t going to do any good if we don’t know where they are!” Sasha sighed and muttered, “Might as well use those escaping skills of yours for something good for a change.”

“I heard that!” Arachne mentally growled to herself, reminding herself how Wade and Peter had pointed out that if she hadn’t made it to the elevator and to the first floor none of the others would have been rescued. It helped—a little. The fact that they still hated her hurt. She knew why, of course, but still.

She crawled out. She had a perfect memory for buildings, and she knew how to use it. Every time they’d caught her she’d learned more and she’d gotten further. The fact that she’d saved everyone was proof enough of that. She glared out of the vent at one of the invaders. She was going to save everyone again.

She exited the vent—silently—in one of the classrooms. Every classroom had detailed blueprints for emergency evacuations. Several more of the intruders walked by the room and she cracked the door to hear what they were saying.

“—get them all to the cafeteria,” muttered one of them. “How are we supposed to do that when these brats have powers?”

“Do you want to piss the witch off? She’ll kill you with that doll of hers.”

Trailing behind them was a line of cowed, collared children. Something about the collars made Arachne shiver—the “danger is coming” shiver. At the end of the line, walking slowly behind the others, was Keith. Without thinking she reached out of the room, yanked him in, and put a finger to her lips. He blinked at her and she realized he wasn’t wearing his glasses. He probably couldn't see very well; no wonder he’d been so slow!

She put one of his hands on her shoulder and then walked towards where she left her thin, strong web to climb back into the vent again. Thinking about it, she grabbed a pen as she passed the teacher’s desk. It would come in handy later.

She used a dab of webbing to stick Keith’s hands together before she climbed up the webbing and pulled it up behind her. If none of them had seen them get into the vents, she didn’t want to let them know how the group was getting around.

She crawled with Keith, unnaturally silent, on her back. Soon she made it to the little room where it was safe and let him down. Kitty stared at the collar with horror. “Oh, no,” she muttered. “Inhibitor collars.”

Sasha frowned as Arachne examined the collar. “What are those?” Sasha asked.

Arachne found the lock. She opened the collar and it dropped off. Keith went full body red, white, and then back to normal. “Are you okay?” she asked him.

“Arachne!” He lunged and hugged her as he cried. She hugged him and let him. After all, it had made Pepper feel better.

“How did you get that collar off?” asked Kitty.

Sasha sighed. “Because it’s Arachne,” she said as if that explained everything. To the children who had been in the Bad Place, it did. “What do these collars do?”

“They—inhibit. Block all powers.”

Sasha and Brian stared at her for a moment. “So—if the adults have these collars on them they’re useless.”

“We can get them off,” Arachne said. “It’s not hard.”

Sasha rolled her eyes again. “For you!”

“So we try anyway. Even if we fail, we tried. That’s important,” Arachne said.

“Would Natasha and Bruce want us to try?” asked Brian. They turned to look at him and he shifted nervously. “Or would they want us to stay safe?”

“Peter and Wade understand what it means to try,” said Arachne.

“Wade talks to the voices in his head.”

“Peter talks to the voices in Wade’s head.” The two girls glared at each other for a moment.

Sasha sighed. “Okay—but we need a plan. Tell me everything you heard.” Arachne complied.

Kitty paled at the description of the “witch.” “I’ve—I’ve heard of her,” the older girl said softly. “She has this doll and if she places something of yours on it—she can use it to hurt you.”

Sasha sat down and rubbed her chin as she thought in unconscious mimicry of how Bruce tended to think. “All right. Arachne, you got the map.” Keith sniffled and let go as Arachne dug out both the map and the pen and handed it to her. “Okay. We need a three pronged plan. First, we need to get the adults free so they can rescue us. In case they can’t, we need to contact adults that aren’t here that will.”

“Tony, Natasha, Bruce, Peter, and Wade,” supplied Arachne.

“Right.”

Kitty pointed to one of the rooms. “This is a control room. It can be locked from the inside and used to send a mayday sequence to the Avengers Tower which will be bounced to wherever they are now,” the older girl said.

“May—day?” asked Arachne. “What’s that?”

“General, all purpose call for help,” Kitty explained.

“Okay. Third thing we need to do is keep them here. We can’t save everyone if they move people off the grounds. Brian, you’re going to go to the parking lot. Go green and smash everything. They can’t leave if there’s nothing to leave in. Arachne, you’re going to keep this ‘witch’ busy. I’ll go the control room.”

“Problem,” said Arachne. “I can’t be a distraction and unlock collars. She might not be able to kill me, but she’ll be able to immobilize me as soon as she figures out how to do it.”

Sasha chewed on the pen. “I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted. She turned to Kitty. “Do you think you can learn how to open it?”

“Ah—”

“We don’t know until we try,” said Arachne. She picked the collar off the floor and snapped it closed again, locking it. “Let me show you how and you practice,” she said. Moving slowly she showed Kitty how she overrode the electronic lock.

“I want to help too,” said Keith in a small voice.

Sasha glared at him and he went pale. “What can you do?” she asked.

“I can—turn colors. It’s not a lot, but it might help someone stay hidden.”

“It’s not exactly perfect camouflage,” said Sasha.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Arachne said as she guided Kitty’s hands on the collar. It snapped open. “Try that a few more times,” she said before standing up and looking at Sasha. “I’m going to be a distraction, remember?”

“Do you honestly think you can distract them enough?” asked Sasha.

“I live with Wade!”

“She has a point,” said Brian. “Wade is—distracting.”

“Wade is insane. Everybody says so.”

“Not Peter.” The two girls glared at each other again.

“Got it!” said Kitty as the collar fell open a third time.

“Let’s go,” said Sasha as Arachne’s spun a rope to the ceiling to let them all out.

Kitty and Keith followed Arachne down to the cafeteria. She paused and turned to look at the other two who looked at her with wide, frightened eyes. She realized that Keith—her first friend her age and Kitty—a girl who was almost big enough to be a grown up, were looking to her for instructions. It made her feel both like she was strongest, best person in the world and absolutely terrified. She swallowed before she spoke and hoped that it was too dark for them to see how scared she was. “Wait until they’re distracted,” she ordered.

“How will we know?” asked Keith.

Thinking back to all the chaos that Wade could cause she smiled. “You’ll know,” she told him confidently. Then she kicked out the ventilation grill and swung down into the cafeteria. The tables were all pushed up against the sides and the people there were divided into two groups—the children and adults with collars and the men with guns. Sitting on a lone stool was a woman. She was tall and her white dress had a vaguely feathered look to it.

The woman’s eyes narrowed in speculation as they regarded the child. “Come into the web yourself?” she asked with a thick accent.

“No,” said Arachne as she confidently (Wade told her once she could get away with almost anything if she pretended to have enough confidence) towards the woman. She pointed. “You’ll let them all go!” she announced.

Her announcement was met with a roar of laughter—and among the laughter she heard the unmistakable sound of two feet hitting the ground. Now she just had to keep the attention on her. It shouldn't be too hard—she just had to act like Wade. Well, minus the talking to herself. That might make people look away nervously and she didn’t want anyone to look away.

“I know of you,” said the woman as she picked up something. “You are the little spider girl.”

If no one had told Arachne that it was supposed to be a doll, she never would have known. It looked like several sticks tied together in a shape that was vaguely human. Honestly, Arachne could easily have made a better doll out of webbing. Still, she had that sense again. That sense that something really really bad was about to happen.

The woman held up what looked like a white thread—but Arachne knew better. It was a piece of her webbing. Normally she took down her nests and balled them up until it was impossible for a single piece to be picked away—but Kitty had pulled her out of her nest early, and she hadn’t had time.

The woman tied the thread around the twigs in her hand. She held it up so that Arachne could see the white glimmering thread around the doll. Then, carefully and deliberately, she took what might have been an arm on the thing—and snapped it.

Arachne’s own arm snapped at the same time. She felt pain, she felt rage—but she also felt vicious satisfaction. Was this the best the woman could do? She flung her injured arm out.

Crick-crick-crack.

Her arm was healed. She flexed it to the gasps of the people around them. “You’ll have to do better than that,” she taunted, pointing to the now solid twig of an arm on the doll. She braced herself, knowing what was going to come next. The woman was going to use the doll to snap her neck.

The woman didn’t disappoint. The woman twisted the top of the doll and Arachne’s head followed—but this wasn’t the first time that someone broke her neck. And this time—this time she could control how fast she could heal. Her head spun like a top as her bones and nerves fixed themselves, the muscles twisting, bruising, and healing until it was normal again. Arachne coughed up the blood that had been forced into her airway when her neck twisted and spat it onto the floor before wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “Is that all you’ve got?” she asked.

The woman smiled and regarded the perfectly fine doll in her hand before looking at the child again. “No,” she said smugly. She tossed the doll into the air and Arachne followed—and—didn’t—come—down! The woman got off her stool and strode towards the child who spun desperately in the air trying to get purchase on something. “What are you child?” the woman asked. “You are more than spider, are you not?” The woman reached the girl and seized Arachne’s chin with one hand. “Fascinating,” she murmured.

Arachne knew that word. That word was always (almost always—not since she left the Bad Place had it been) followed by pain as new limits were tested to see just how far she could go. She tried to pull away from the woman—who suddenly went slack, only held up by three metal claws piercing through her chest.

The woman fell off the claws and Arachne dropped to the floor fighting for breath. A hand rubbed her back soothingly. “Okay, you’re okay,” murmured Kitty.

Arachne looked up, eyes wide, at the man who’d killed the woman. He had hair that was kind of flat and at an angle on his head, bigger sideburns than she’d ever seen, and a scowl. She’d seen him around the school—but she didn’t know what he taught. “You did good kid,” he said. “Real good.”

She looked around and saw that the adults were free and most of the gunmen were down. “It was Sasha’s plan,” she told him as Kitty rubbed her back.

The man frowned. “It wouldn't have worked without you,” he said.

She shrugged. It didn’t matter. Arachne herself hadn’t had a plan—Sasha was the one that came up with one. If Sasha hadn’t figured out what to do, Arachne wouldn't have distracted everyone long enough for Kitty to get the collars off.

Suddenly she broke down crying. “What’s wrong?” asked Kitty.

“I—I want to—to—go home!” Arachne wailed.

Suddenly one of the doors to the cafeteria burst open and a boy Kitty’s age popped in. “The Avengers are here!” he said, eyes wide. “And they have a dinosaur!”

“They have a what?” asked gruff man.

[themanofgloom]

Boogeydad Shenanigans

Summary: A cute, fun drabble about Ormad’s usual mornings with Rudy and what it’s like to sit inside his head!!

Trigger warnings: Plenty of self-deprecative thoughts, mentions of death, anxiety, cursing, drugs mention, ex-lover mention

If you can read it, it’s appreciated!! 

You’ve been staying awake for the past hour. What are you doing sitting in bed. What time is it? No, you don’t even have a clock in the mansion -- idiot. You’re an idiot, that’s what you are, you understand? It’s not like you didn’t not know that days ago but just givin’ you a little reminder in case you forgot.

Rudy needs to go to school. Get up. Make breakfast for her early.

Noooo.... Ormad shut his eyes and rolled to his side, face shoved into his pillow. It’s probably not that late. Or maybe it’s really early. Yeah... more time to sleep, more time to kick back and relax. That’s great. He stretched his arms and legs, groaning quietly before squishing up again. 

What’d he dream about last night? Wait-- no. Don’t think about it. Don’t, don’t, don’t. That was a hideous dream. He hated it. He scrunched his nose and moved it around. No, no, no. The dream was ugly and awful and he should think about something else. Like... like the blanket. The blanket smushed up against his back. Yes, think of that blanket like a person. Like, like a nice person cuddled up next to him because yes, they liked him very much, he was great.

No, that was stupid. Yes, it’s stupid, and I’m going to believe it.

Ormad sat up in his bed and blinked several times. His two dark feet stuck out at the end of his violet blanket. The room was pitch black; just the way he liked it. He yawned before laying back down again--

Squeeek!! Light poured into the room. He hissed and covered his face.

“Dad!” Rudy said. “Are you ready to go?”

Ready to go? What?? Then it hit him. A truck did. A truck of oh my lord, what a stupid ass you are!! “I-- um, well--”

“Come ooonnnn!” she urged. Rudy already had her signature hoodie on, as well as her sneakers (shoes in the house were fine -- were they?) and backpack. “They’re selling cupcakes in the morning today!!”

“Yes, yes, okay.” He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth as she skipped on away. He pursed his lips and glared at nothing. His head shook. 

Idiot, you could’ve been up earlier. You could’ve made her breakfast and you could’ve greeted her with a, “Good morning, sweetie! Look at all of this I made for you in just a few minutes!” You could’ve felt GREAT today and done something good for her, but instead you just laid here in bed like the lazy fool you are. Later on, when she grows up, she’s going to do the same thing; she’s not going to take care of you. She’ll let you wilt and suffer because you deserve it, you know that, you know--!

Ormad stumbled out of his room and slapped his hands through his hair. Messy. It was always messy. Not like he cared; he was too lazy to make himself look nice, anyway. He didn’t want to be so perked up and pretty and proper for the teachers. Because oh, what’d they expect out of him, some weird freak?

Hell yes he was a weird freak. Just not as weird as some other people. At least he could hide his weirdness. Yes.

Ormad met Rudy in one of the hallways. He was about to open up a portal to the Positive Side when she interrupted: “Dad!”

“Huh?”

“Did you pack stuff up? I got my water bottles, but where’s your backpack?” She wasn’t hostile or yelling in any way, but it sure as hell felt like it to him.

“Backpack? Why do I need a backpack?”

“Field trip! Remember?”

Oh no. Look. You big embarrassment. This is why she’s humiliated by you. First you slept in for hours without making her breakfast, and now she’s reminding you of something you should’ve remembered days ago. What the hell is wrong with you? Ormad clenched his fists and gestured wildly, not knowing what to do with his hands. “Um-- what do I bring, again?”

Rudy exhaled, her feet shuffling. “Daaaad. I talked to you about it yesterday.”

“I know.”

“And the day before.”

“I know, Rudy.”

“And now we’re gonna be late.”

“Can you tell me what I need?”

“The pamphlet we got and some shades.”

Pamphlet. Where the hell did he leave the pamphlet? Ormad’s stomach felt hot as he stormed around his room, searching anxiously through drawers and the sheets of his bed. Where was the pamphlet? Where the hell did he leave it? 

“Rudy? Do you know where I put it?”

“I mean, I gave it to you a week ago, and you said you’d put it somewhere safe.”

A week ago. You see, that’s a great excuse. It’s not your fault that you don’t know where it is; it’s just the long amount of time between now and then. See? You did nothing wrong. Rudy just gave it to you too early.

Ormad fussed about, looking through the living room.

No, don’t think shit about your daughter like that. She’s your daughter. She’s your baby. She looks up to you and if you look down at her like that, guess what! She’s going to abandon you when she grows up and she’s gonna frolic over to one of those Rulers in the Positive Side and you’ll lose custody and be all alone!! So then you’ll be in a lonely cycle again and you’ll probably end up trying to do stupid shit to get her back. Don’t think about your daughter like that, she’s not dirt, you’re dirt, you can let her walk on you because her feet can’t crush you, but ohhhhhhhhhhh you can’t walk on her, you understand? You do that and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life and you’ll probably be asking yourself, “Why am I even

“Found it!” Ormad declared, holding up the pamphlet with a shaking hand. 

“That’s great,” Rudy replied. “Come on. We gotta go!”

Ormad formed a backpack out of Negativity and stuffed the pamphlet into it. Then he looked himself up and down, tapping his claws together. “Do I look fine?”

“Yeah!”

“I should be disguised as someone. Something else. I’ll pretend to be a chaperone, but a Positive instead.”

“Dad, you’re fine.”

“Fine? I’m not fine. Maybe you are, but at this point they’ve gotten used to a human in their class. If they see me, there might be an attack on the trip and they’ll tear me apart, and then you’ll get hurt and die because you’re a human. You know that, right? How easily humans can bleed out like that?”

A sigh came from her, along with the rolling of her eyes. “It’s fine, Dad! Really.” 

“Tell me fine when you--” No. Cut it out. Cut it off. He sewed his lips shut before anything else could get out, and he closed his eyes and exhaled. Stop. Breathe. Your daughter is not your therapist. Do not treat her like one. You ugly, monstrous, disastrous garbage fool.

Ormad opened the portal, and the two of them went in.

***

“You didn’t have to say that to the tour guide,” Rudy mumbled.

“Well, I defend myself when I need to,” Ormad replied. “It’s a little hard to deal with.”

“What?”

“Being me. That’s hard to deal with.” He tapped his claws on the edge of the table. There were no Positives in the room they were in, but there were plenty of Positives in the room next door. They’d been kicked out.

Ormad clenched his jaw, and his heart sank. “Am I pitying myself again?”

Rudy rubbed the back of her neck. “A little bit.”

Damnit. He thought he wasn’t. God, why couldn’t he just talk about himself for once? 

Or maybe you talk about yourself all the time to the point where it sounds normal. You talk about yourself to yourself. That’s it. That’s normal for you. Change the topic and suddenly you’re being assaulted.

They sat there together in silence. Ormad was scratching the edges of the chair with his claws, bouncing his legs and glaring at nothing. Rudy sniffed. 

“Hey, Dad,” she said quietly. 

“... What is it, Rudy?”

Her small stubby fingers curled the strands of her dark hair. “Can I... tell you something? I’ve had it on my mind for a while now.”

“Anything, sweetie.” His heart was rising in his chest.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was she going to tell him? Was she going to say that he’d been using her as a doctor again? He thought he’d been just fine. No, you’re not fine and you know it. Something always slips by you, and before you can take it back the damage is already done and when you say sorry it just comes out as self-pity. So yes, maybe you did do something bad and now she’s going to tell you and your relationship with her is going to crumble and it’s going to be all your fault.

“There are therapists in the Positive Side,” Rudy told him. “Maybe you should get one.”

“... Therapist?” Ormad repeated, and he dryly chuckled. “I don’t need a therapist, Rudy. I’m completely fine on my own.”

“You don’t seem to be, Dad.”

“What are you talking about?” He ran a hand across the top of her head and gently patted it. “You’ve asked me this several times before. I’ve said no to every single question. I’m fine.”

“Yeah, I asked you,” Rudy said. “I said, ‘Dad, do you want to get a therapist?’ But right now, I’m just saying you should get one. You need to.”

“I don’t need one, Rudy. Trust me.”

“You said to the tour guide that if he didn’t want to feel the same pain and suffering that you do, he should ‘back the hell off.’“

Ormad clenched his teeth. “He was just angering me.”

“But it happened last field trip, too. And the one before that, you had a breakdown.”

“Then maybe I should just stop coming on field trips,” he admitted. He averted his gaze. “But I can’t just leave you unsupervised. Imagine what they can do to you when I’m not around, Rudy. Terrible things.”

“Dad.”

“Yes.”

“Get a therapist.”

Ormad sighed and said nothing.

“You need help. Just get one. Please.”

Why should he? He wasn’t a weak little victim. He wasn’t going to let himself be vulnerable and open again to the wrong people. Rudy was the only one who understood him. And he didn’t even need to vent to her! It was fine. They were a perfect family. They were fine.

But then when she’ll get older, you’ll look at her differently, won’t you? And maybe you’ll be like those petty humans on Earth. You’ll say, “Hey, since she’s older now, she can handle things better!” So you’ll dump and dump all your pour little feelings on her and then she’ll get humiliated, maybe say something like, “Dad, please, stop, you’re hurting me!! I hate you, i hate you!!” 

Because you don’t want to hear those words. You don’t want her to hate you because if she hates you, you’ll do anything and everything to get her to not hate you again. But she will continue to hate you when you don’t make the right choice and you can’t take it back because the mistake was YOUR fault, you understand? 

And then she’ll go over to the Positives and the Rulers will tell her all about you and the terrible things you did to them when you were younger. She’s gonna get poisoned by them and then she’ll probably break into the Negative Side and try to kill you. Maybe that’ll happen -- oh yes, that’ll definitely happen!! Because gueesss whaaattt? You’re a stupid foolish clown. You’re just some jester with strings attached to you lala la la la la dancing for everybody to laugh at because you always tend to slip up and embarrass yourself, like this morning, or maybe that one time you let Alice nearly overdose and she said it was your fault, YOUR fault, but you said no, so then later she broke up with you and then you left the Earth because boohoo, you couldn’t do enough, could you?

And that’s why you’ll always enter a new door in life just to break it and lock it shut, because everything you touch wilts like a flower, and that’s why Rudy’s going to die before she becomes an adult, and that’s why you were so alone when you were younger and that’s why everybody betrayed you and that’s why you’re unloved and you’ll be forgotten and nobody NOBODY will ever ever FORGIVE YOU for what youve done to them and next up youre going to be forgotten by your own daughter because of what youve done to her so

QUIET

Startled, Ormad let out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes. Rudy waited for a response, almost expecting none.

“Okay,” he mumbled. “I will. I’ll get one.”

For you, but not for me.

[perspective-series]

Pet Perspective (3/19)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Unwanted touching, injuries

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

————————————————————————————–

The borrower began to wander around, taking note of the various objects placed on the desk, the most useful being the lamp. Sending one last glance towards Virgil, Roman casually went over to inspect it.

 Virgil paused. Roman was being too quiet. He subtly glanced over the top of his phone and to Roman, wondering what he was doing.

Since he wasn’t stopped yet, Roman reached out, giving the lamp cord a gentle tug. Finding it relatively secure, Roman grabbed it with both hands and jumped off the edge of the desk.

 Virgil was quick to jump up and kneel down under his desk. “Nope!” He quickly reached out and grabbed Roman before he even made it to the ground.

Roman smirked. While he had not gotten as far as would be ideal, he had succeeded in pulling Virgil’s attention.

“What?” Roman asked innocently.

 Virgil rolled his eyes and brought Roman back up to the desk. “You aren’t sneaky, you know.” Virgil said. “It was obvious the second you stopped talking that you were up to something.”

Good to know. Roman took note of that for future escape attempts. “I wasn’t trying to be sneaky.” This time. “I was just entertaining myself, since clearly you won’t.”

 “You want to be entertained?” Virgil asked. “Fine.” He smirked and turned around, tossing Roman onto the bed.

Roman let out a yell, suddenly regretting his decisions as he flew through the air, tumbling to a rough halt on the heavily cushioned surface. 

Roman lay on his stomach, pulling his head up to stare incredulously at Virgil. “What is wrong with you?!”

 “Nothing. Why?” Virgil asked innocently as he took a seat on his bed near where Roman landed.

Roman started to roll closer to Virgil when the bed sunk beneath his weight, so Roman hastily got to his feet and tried to scramble back. “You can’t just throw me!”

 “Why not? It’s not like you’re hurt or anything.” Virgil paused, looking Roman over. “...Right?”

Roman’s eyebrow quirked, the borrower getting an idea. Was Virgil actually a human who cared about a borrower’s well-being? Well, Roman could certainly use that to his advantage during his temporary stay.

“As if you care.” Roman immediately slouched his posture, wincing as he grabbed at his side to fake injury. Of all his skills, Roman was quite proud of his acting talents.

 Virgil’s eyes widened. “Crap.” Virgil muttered, reaching down to gently scoop Roman up into his open palm. He brought him up to his face. “I figured the bed would be soft enough...where does it hurt? Do you need anything?” Borrowers were a lot more fragile than Virgil first thought.

“Ow!” Roman cried out, actually feeling nothing as he flinched when grabbed. “For one thing, I need you to stop making it worse.”

 “S-Sorry!” Great, he was already looking to be a bad owner. Virgil stood up from his bed and came back over to the desk, sending his hand down so Roman could get off himself.

Roman all but limped off Virgil’s palm, hiding a smirk as he did so. This was almost too easy. Perhaps his initial judgement was wrong; Virgil was easily manipulated.

 “Okay...do you think you might need bandages or anything?” Probably not, if it was just a bruise but Virgil felt the need to ask anyway.

“I just need to rest, and dress my wounds.” Roman moaned dramatically, sinking forlornly against the edge of the cage.

 Virgil paused for a moment, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “...Right.” He shook his head. “I think maybe some pain meds might be good for you. Just to be safe.” Virgil looked from Roman and then to the door. “Stay right there, I’ll be right back with some.” Virgil headed out of his room, closing the door behind him.

Roman’s eyes widened, watching the door close. This was incredible! Roman had never made an escape so soon, but with no time to waste Roman found himself dashing for the lamp cord with a hope in his heart. As he grabbed on and began to slide down he was already inspecting the room, looking for a suitable exit that could get him out, permanently. The borrower spotted a vent at floor level near the door and knew that, while dangerous, he was just going to have to make a run for it.

 Virgil, who was still right by the door, waited a few moments before throwing the door open. His eyes went to the empty desk and he groaned. “I knew it.” He searched the floor, looking for the tiny.

Uh oh. Roman quickly ducked around a pile of clothing, hiding himself from view and cursing under his breath. Alright, two options. Should he go back to Virgil with a good excuse, or make a break for it?

For once, Roman’s imagination failed him as he struggled for an excuse, so it seemed his decision was made for him. Taking a deep breath, Roman began to dart through the mess, using the emo’s hoarding to his advantage.

 Virgil thought he saw a flash but as soon as he checked under or around whatever was on his floor, he was gone. He continued to scan the room, frustrated with himself for having such a messy room. Great, now he probably had to clean it, once he caught Roman.

Roman peered around a discarded hoodie, pleased to see Virgil was looking the other way. This was it, the final dash. Roman sprinted for all he was worth, heart still rapidly pounding in his chest when he reached the vent. With a victorious grin Roman tugged on the vent, only for his face to fall as he realized he may have celebrated too soon.

The vent didn’t budge.

“Come on!” A frustrated Roman huffed, pushing his leg against the wall and using all his body strength to try and move the darned grate. It was no use- the bars were screwed into place.

 At the sound of a quiet voice, Virgil turned and saw Roman, trying to pry the vent open. He started over there. “There you are.”

“Uh oh.” Roman quickly changed tactics, instead launching himself forwards and trying to wriggle through the slanted bars. He didn’t get very far, now stuck with his torso wedged in and his legs uselessly dangling. 

 “Whoa, hey!” Virgil cried when he saw Roman trying to go through the bars. He kneeled down as he got there and grabbed hold of Roman’s legs, pulling him out with a hard tug and lifting him up, not bothering the change how he held him just yet.

“OwowowowOW!” Roman protested, painfully dragged out to dangle upside down. He gulped, the blood rushing to his head. Now would be a great time for an excuse. Roman thought distantly.

 Virgil rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m not falling for that again.” Looks like his pet was a little actor. “Wanna tell me why you keep trying to get away? Or, better yet, why you made me think I hurt you?” He had actually been worried there for a moment.

“Well you certainly hurt me now!” Roman winced, feeling his bones already beginning to ache. He hoped to avoid the first question entirely.

 “Right, uh huh.” Virgil rubbed at his face with his free hand. “You can drop the act, it ain’t working on me again.” He brought Roman back over to the desk, flipping him over in his hand before setting him down.

Roman rubbed at his side, realizing he might have made a grievous error in feigning injury- now that he was actually in pain, Virgil didn’t believe him.

 “Well? You haven’t answered my questions yet.” Virgil spoke with a raised brow.

Play dumb. “...what questions?” Not that dumb! Roman bit his lip, not meeting Virgil’s eye.

 Virgil narrowed his eyes. “Roman, I don’t sleep much. So I can be here all night if I have to.”

“Well that doesn’t sound very healthy.” Roman once again deflected the topic. “Have you tried an ambient noise machine? I’ve heard they help with insomnia.”

 “I have, doesn’t help. Stop avoiding the questions.” Virgil said, crossing his arms. Maybe getting such a stubborn and rebellious tiny had been a bad idea…

Roman took a step back, nervous as he continued on his tangent. “Maybe a weighted blanket then? Or a heated one. Those could certainly be comfortable.”

 Virgil grabbed Roman into a fist with no warning, bringing him up to his face and glaring at him. “Answer the questions.” He practically growled out.

Roman gasped, all the air knocked out of his lungs. He scrunched up his face in pain, his elbow jutting into his stomach and Virgil’s relentless grip sure to leave bruises. “V-virgil, you’re hurting me.”

 “I already told you, I’m not falling for that again.” He wasn’t even holding Roman that tight. “Now just answer me already and we can put this all behind us.”

“I was trying to get away!” Roman said hurriedly, his little heart beating rapidly as he began to panic. He tried to take a steady deep breath, but Virgil’s painful grip only allowed Roman shallow breathing. 

 “Why? Like, I get that you aren’t used to me yet but seriously, I have to be better than trying to survive out in the wild.” Roman would probably die out there.

“At least out there I can choose for myself, and-and have a bit of adventure while I’m alive.” Roman struggled to try and create even the barest bit of space for himself. “I refuse to live a life of submission and die of boredom in a cage.”

 “It’s not...that bad. Besides, you just got here. That cage is temporary.” Virgil sighed and went ahead and put Roman down, glad they finally were getting somewhere. “You can choose whatever kind of enclosure you want when we go shopping tomorrow.”

Roman immediately took the chance to take a deep breath, doubling over at the waist.

“I don’t want an enclosure.” Roman growled, glaring up at Virgil. “A cage by any other name is still a cage.”

 Virgil frowned when he watched Roman bend over. Man, he was really milking this fake hurt bit. Shouldn’t he have realized by now that it’s not going to work again? “Look, I know we’re not off to the best start but we’ll get there eventually. And maybe we can go on our own little adventures.”

Roman just rolled his eyes, focusing on getting air back into his lungs. Of course Virgil didn’t understand; none of Roman’s humans ever did.

 “Anyway, it’s time for you to go to bed now.” Virgil looked at the empty cage and stood to grab a clean shirt from his closet, stuffing it inside as a temporary bed for Roman. “There we go.”

“How thoughtful.” Roman said through gritted teeth, painfully straightening up.

 “Again, we’ll get something better for you tomorrow. Now in you go.” He lightly nudged Roman towards the cage.

Roman stumbled, letting out a grumble beneath his breath as he staggered into the cage, his body bruised and beaten.

 Virgil closed the cage door. “Alright, goodnight Roman.” He said, before turning off the light and hopping into his own bed. It wasn’t to sleep though. Instead, he got out his phone and started scrolling through tumblr once again.

Roman carefully propped up the shirt, doing his best to mold it into a suitable bed. The borrower nestled in, giving a whimper as his bruises flared up again. Roman had gotten cocky, and now he knew this was going to be no walk in the park. He was determined to succeed, no matter how Virgil tried to break him.

--------------------------------------

 Patton turned to his borrower after watching Virgil and Roman disappear upstairs. “I don’t know why Roman was treating you like that. And Virgil shouldn’t have been encouraging that behavior, I’m sorry about all that.”

“I was confused as well.” Logan admitted, having found the other borrower’s behavior odd. He did appear a bit more wild, so perhaps that was why he was so ill-mannered.

 “Hmm, well hopefully he’ll learn some manners soon. Anyway, are you all done? Or did you want some more?” Patton asked, ready to make another sandwich if it was wanted.

“I...could consume more.” Logan said. He was no longer hungry, but at the thought of being carried again Logan instantly chose the path which would delay the inevitable. Not a healthy mindset, he supposed.

 “On it!” Patton chuckled, making another mini sandwich. He handed it to Logan and sat back down, his own plate already discarded in the sink.

Logan took his time with this one, nibbling idly on the bread and hoping the meal could last forever, despite that being physically impossible.

 Patton hummed. “So, that tiny food is out of the question…” It had truly been disgusting. Patton gagged at the thought of it. “What kind of things do you like to eat instead?” Patton asked.

“Ah, well, I’m not quite sure.” Logan looked a bit sheepish. Being in captivity, tiny feed was often all he was fed. Other borrowers would get a bite of a shopkeeper’s meal if they were a favorite, but Logan had never fallen into that category.

 “Oh, well...how’s the sandwich? Would you want more of those?” Patton asked. He had to assume he liked it if Logan asked for seconds.

Logan nodded. Being full it had mostly lost its flavor, but he still found this meal far more satisfying. “Thank you, for going through the trouble. I know it wasn’t necessary.” Logan used his manners, knowing he would have a better chance at getting more favors in the future this way.

 “Aww, it’s no problem kiddo!” He was so polite, Patton loved it. “Just to ask, would you be willing to tell me your name now?”

Logan considered this. He would have been willing to exchange that information to be rid of the tiny food, but Logan had managed that (with Roman’s assistance) without needing to reveal his name. Seeing no reason to give it up now, Logan shook his head.

 Patton deflated at that. “Oh. Well, alright. Just let me know if you change your mind!” He said, putting back on his smile. “You all done?” He asked, noticing the lack of sandwich in the borrower’s hand.

Logan, hesitant as ever, nodded. He supposed it was better to get it over with, then.

 “Great! Then let’s go back up to my room.” Patton said, and gently scooped Logan up into his open palms.

Logan tensed, automatically reaching out his own hand to steady himself against Patton’s fingers.

 Patton cooed at that and walked upstairs to his room. He sat down at his desk and set the tiny down on top of it. “You know, I’m so happy I got you. I went into the shop not knowing how I was going to choose but when I saw you, well, it’s like I just knew, ya know?” Patton rambled.

“My recollection of such an emotion is lacking.” Logan said stiffly, brushing himself off to stop the shaking.

 “Well, I think I made the right choice. I can tell that you and I are going to have a lot of fun together.” Patton couldn’t wait to go shopping and get him so much stuff. He had a feeling he’d be spoiling the little guy.

“You said that before.” Logan recalled. He still did not share the sentiment.

 “I know! I’m just that sure!” Patton laughed. “How long were you in that place anyway? Were you anywhere before that?” Patton asked, curious about his tiny’s life.

Logan considered that an innocent enough question to dignify it with a response. “I’ve been transferred between a few facilities, all identical.”

 “Aww, that must have been hard.” Patton frowned sadly. “Well, now you won’t have to deal with the constant moving around anymore.”

“It wasn’t difficult.” Logan looked confused, thinking about the task literally. “My responsibilities regarding the move are equivalent to none.”

 Patton chuckled. “I know that. But moving from place to place can take a real toll on someone mentally and be kind of scary. But I promise, this is your last stop. I’m not planning on ever getting rid of you.” He scooped Logan up and held him to his chest in a hug.

Logan let out a strangled ‘oof!’, squirming immediately at the overwhelming contact.

 Patton chuckled before taking him away from his chest but he didn’t put him down. “Have I told you how cute you are yet?” Patton giggled, reaching out with his free hand to pet his borrower on the head and then down his back.

“I- yes, I believe it has been mentioned.” Logan shuddered. He tried closing his eyes to block out one of his senses, but that just made his sense of touch more heightened.

 Patton frowned as he noticed this. “Hey, bud, are you okay?” He asked, bringing him a little closer to look him over.

“I…” Logan paused, remembering his lessons. Though he loathed being touched by strangers, humans always seemed to want to coddle him and did not enjoy being told ‘no’. Hence, the collar. “I will manage.”

 “Are you sure? I want you to feel comfortable with telling me if something is wrong.” He didn’t want his tiny to feel alone and unwelcome in his new home, after all.

Logan almost snorted at that. How could he, when it was technologically impossible for him to do so?

“I prefer to be set down.” Logan explained quietly, gauging Patton’s reaction.

 “Hm? Oh! Sure thing, bud.” Patton set him back down on the desk, giving him a big smile.

“Thank you.” Logan gave a grateful nod, relieved to be on a solid surface once more and not being prodded.

 “Of course kiddo, now, I think it’s about time for bed, yeah?” Patton said and then grabbed a small blanket, stuffing it inside the cage. “Don’t worry, this is just temporary. We’ll pick out a bed for you tomorrow.”

Logan gave another nod, knowing his place as he walked inside.

 Patton shut the cage door as soon as he was in all the way. “Goodnight bud. Sweet dreams~” And with that, Patton turned off the light and got into bed.

[argyleandjonathansmokingajoint]

My Boy Keeps Me Strong

Pairing: Byeler/Byler

Words: 4k (a little more but close enough)

Summary: Will and Mike have been through more than they ever should've together, but nothing feels as scary as coming out to their best friends does. Then, when it all goes south, they're left to pick up the pieces of each other again. But all their years of friendship can't just really be over like that, can it?

Warning: Uh, slurs, homophobia, and cussing.. The homophobia is sorta resolved though?

Author’s Note: This just came together through my venting, basically. So, I hope you enjoy! I just love them so much. (Btw, in a perfect world, none of the party members would be homophobic and I usually like to headcanon them as such, but I'm very gay and I was just feeling some type of way, sorry..) Happy ending though, I swear! You can find it on my AO3 here.

“Hey guys, guys! Um, so We had something we wanted to tell you.” The party were currently all splayed out around the Basement in the Wheeler residence, as per usual. Mike’s comment had drawn their attention though, so everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to face the taller teen and Will, whom they assumed he must also be talking about, since he was standing beside him.

“Okay, Mike! It looks like you boys have the floor!” Dustin yelled, earning some light jeering and laughs from the teens.

Will could feel his palms growing sweaty. He was more nervous to do this than he’d ever been to do anything probably. Mike looked over at him, knocking into his arm and smiling to reassure him, although his own nerves were no better.

El, seeming to sense the emotions from the two boys, brought silence to the room so that they could continue, and so, continue they did.

“Uh, yeah so anyway, gonna try to keep this kinda short, I guess.” Mike’s voice wavered and there were a few laughs around the room, but nothing else, so he continued. “So, where to start?” He looked at Will, and the boy gave an encouraging smile, so Mike took a breath and just went for it. “We’re gay and we’re dating!” It came out in a rush, and for a second, he wasn’t even sure if he had said it at all, but then after a couple of beats of silence, silence he would come to wish he could have back, all hell suddenly broke loose.

“What!” Lucas jumped up from his chair and Max was off of the floor beside him, not a second later, grabbing his arm, as if she thought he might hit one of them. Honestly, Mike was kind of thinking the same thing.

“Wait, since when?!” Dustin looked more than a little freaked that two of his best friends suddenly happened to be homos.

“I don’t understand. Is this bad?” This one little question from El gave them a brief glimmer of hope amongst all of the shit that was starting to pile onto them right now.

“I-I” Will couldn’t even seem to form any words, but it didn’t matter to the group because apparently, Lucas had plenty to say, or more specifically, just one thing to say.

“No, I-I just can’t, okay? Jesus, I can’t even look at you!” And that was that from them because then they were storming out and dragging El away as she looked back with confusion in her eyes.

Well, they were kind of confused too, to tell the truth. Their best friends since childhood had just had one of the worst possible reactions imaginable to their coming out, and the worst thing of all? Neither of them had even imagined this scenario taking place at all. They were so sure, so confident in their friends’ love, loyalty, and bond that they hadn’t even questioned it. Well, that had royally screwed them this time, hadn’t it?

“I-I just stood there. I can’t believe I just stood there.” Mike was looking at the floor, his face in complete shock.

“I was no better, Mike. I couldn’t even make a case for us.” He registered the words as he said them. He shouldn’t have to make any case, right? What were they doing, feeling guilty? Will looked down at his hands and realized that he was shaking. He eyes then landed on Mike to see that he, on the other hand, looked almost numb from the experience they had just gone through. Will placed his hands around him and delicately wrapped his arms around him, waiting for Mike to lean into it. Mike’s head immediately curled into Will’s neck and his cheek landed on his shoulder. Even though he was a tall guy, Mike loved his comfort positions and Will secretly loved him all the more for it. It hurt to see him like this though. Will just wanted everything to be okay. He wanted their friends back, and he almost wished they could take back their most well-guarded secret. But looking at Mike, he thought, almost, but not quite, with a warm feeling in his heart.

“Those fucking bastards! I mean, honestly, screw those guys! Ya know, baby? who needs ‘em anyway, huh?” Mike huffed out a ragged breath and looked behind him as if the party members would still be standing there. “Bunch of lousy “so called” friends.” As he said it, he put in air quotes and the disgust was clear, then his shoulders slumped and he wrapped his arms around the shorter boy in front of him and pressed his forehead into Will’s own, closing his eyes tightly. This conversation had been going on for awhile now. Maybe around three hours already. But Mike was fired up and Will was exhausted, and they were both feeling extremely let down about the whole thing, not to mention just hurt and betrayed by the rest of the Party.

“Hey, hey now. You don’t mean that.” The voice in which Will used was gentle, trying to soothe the aching pain his boyfriend was feeling, even as his own heart still smarted from the rejection of their friends. Were they still friends? They’d been through something akin to hell and back together. Was this really the driving force that was going to rip them apart?

“Will, I really, really fucking do. Those assholes! I’m through with the whole lot of ‘em! They think they can just go around and say anything and it won’t matter? Well, it f-fucking matters to me, damnit!” Mike’s entire body was shaking, even his hands were trembling, and he was breathing heavily from his outburst. After catching his breath and seeming to compose himself a bit, he spoke up again. “Doesn’t it mean anything to you?” His voice was much quieter now, almost a whisper even.

“Of course, it does! Of course.”

“Yeah, yeah. Alright.” His boyfriend started nodding and then grabbed him by the hips, pulling him closer. Will held his hands that were gripping him and linked their fingers together, giving him a smile. This must be a good sign. Everything was going to be okay. Then Mike began to speak again. “L-let’s just go somewhere together. Somewhere far, far away from here.”

Will’s look turned to one of confusion. “What? Where?”

“I don’t know! As fucking, far away as we can stand! Let’s just go, please, please, Will.” The anger and hurt were clear in both his voice and face, but more than that, there was that deep-rooted fear they both shared. He was scared, probably more than he had been when they’d faced the demogorgan, or the mind flayer, or the flayed. Any of the upside down’s tricks, but homophobia had that beat by a thousand miles or more. Will could understand, now knowing why Mike was acting the way he was. It made sense. But even though he got it, Mike was what made Will strong, so even though, yeah Will was scared, he’d face just about anything if he had Mike by his side, whether that be interdimensional, portal hopping demon or your everyday, old-fashioned homophobia.

“Mike, sweetie.” The tone he used carried a slight pleading tone to it. “I know you’re hurt, and I get it. Like I actually do, more than I did earlier. I know it’s scary when you’re like… us, but I’m not scared. Do you know why?”

Mike’s head was facing downward, his shoulders shaking slightly. Will could see a teardrop fall from the corner of his nose and he brushed it away. Mike shook his head, a sign for Will to continue talking. “Because I’m never scared when I’m with you. Not really. You give me the strength to be brave, and if you really wanna leave all this? If you just want to pack up and go, leave everyone behind? Our families, friends, everything we’ve ever known… I’ll go.” Mike’s head lifted when Will said this, the shock in his face clear. His tear stained face was blotchy and red, and Will couldn’t help but smile softly at his boyfriend, reaching his hand up and cupping his face. “I won’t lie, I might be scared. But I’ll go, and I know we’ll be okay because, at least we’ll be together.”

A breath left Mike’s chest in a whoosh when he heard Will’s heartfelt confession. It might as well have been a love poem and a dozen roses for the way it made his heart feel. “You stupid, I love you so much!” Mike dragged him into a hug, and if it weren’t for the loud sobs wracking his body, Will wouldn’t know he was crying at all.

“I love you too, you big baby.”

_____

Will was a little drunk and more than a lot pissed when he found out the party members were hanging out down by the quarry without Mike and him, so maybe he decided to do something a little bit stupid and a whole lot brave about it. He was going to go out there and confront those dicks and tell them just exactly how much it pissed him off.

But, safety first! A drunk person should never operate an automated vehicle. Or, something like that. No, Will forgoes his brother’s hand-me-down car and grabs up his bike that’s a couple sizes too small by now and hops on, pedaling down to the quarry as fast and as steady as his drunk legs will carry him. The bike’s still in pretty good condition since he uses it sometimes to go riding with Mike or the rest of the party. Well, they used to. The memory stings, urging Will on faster and he ignores his aching legs in favor of pedaling harder.

When he finally reaches the quarry’s edge, he sees them all out there, laughing and having a good ‘ol time. It makes him so angry that he throws down his bike as he gracelessly gets off. He might’ve regretted that if he were sober, but as it stands, he couldn’t care less. Will stumbles down to where the party are sitting, and they look up as they hear someone approaching.

“Will?” El is the first to say anything. She sounds surprised but pleased to see him. Will doesn’t even care anymore. He’s through giving chances, playing at Mr. nice guy.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Mike?” It’s Dustin this time. He doesn’t sound too off put, but not too thrilled either. Yeah, Will’s not surprised with the show he put on the last time they saw each other at Mike’s.

Will scoffs. “Do you really care? Let me guess. You wanna make sure he’s not in the bushes, with like b-binoculars or something, creeping on you? Huh? Is that i-it?” He lets out a noise that is supposed to be a sound of disbelief, but really just sounds like a poorly done fart sound.

“Uh, are you drunk?” Max looks worried, after all the time is only around four or five in the afternoon, so her worry isn’t for nothing. However, Will doesn’t even register her, too lost in his own emotions and drunkenness to even hear the sound of her voice.

“You know what, fuck you guys! Okay, Mike was right. You don’t even deserve to have us as friends. W-we put so much trust in you that we actually, stupidly thought you might- I don’t know, not care who we love, or who we sleep with!!” Will’s voice cracked over the last bit and he could feel the sting of hot tears in his eyes, but he tried his best to hold them in. He couldn’t, wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing him break down. “You bastards think it’s easy?! I’m a walking fucking poster for the Aids epidemic! Damnit, you have no idea, none, what mike and I go through every day. Even if I wasn’t gay, I run the risk of being killed or beaten in an alley because I “look too fucking queer”, and that’s something someone told me once before he punched me in the face, so take your sorry excuses or non-excuses for why you can’t be friends with the two fags and shove it.” If he wasn’t crying before then he definitely was now. Great, heaving sobs suddenly filled his chest and he collapsed in on himself. He wanted Mike. They didn’t get it, no one did, only Mike. Mike was the only one that ever did. Will was genuinely weeping, huge gasps leaving his body and an onslaught of new sobs taking over. It felt as if he were mourning some great loss and, in some way, he was.

He looked up at the sudden feeling of arms surrounding him, and for a moment he thought that maybe he’d imagined the whole thing and he was actually with Mike right now or just dreaming. But when he looked up, it wasn’t into the smiling face of Mike, it was into the concerned faces of El and Max, with Dustin sitting in front of him, looking equally as concerned. Lucas was a bit further away, but still near and all of them wore matching expressions of shame and guilt of varying degrees.

Dustin’s voice startled Will out of his thoughts. “I-I’m sorry, Will. We shouldn’t have treated you like that. I mean, I don’t really get it, I guess, but that’s no reason for me to treat you differently. Besides, you’ve always fought so hard for me, for all of us, and I know you always will. So, I’ll do the same for you. I love you, buddy.”

“But, even though we’re gay?” Will’s not sure what the question is, but the others seem to understand well enough and rush ahead to reassure him.

“Hell yeah, I mean it. I’m like, all in now!” Dustin smiles a big, goofy grin, that almost makes Will want to smile himself.

“Yeah, dude! Besides, I’m from California. I mean, this kind of thing is nothing new around there, so I’ve seen it plenty.” Max places a comforting hand on his back and this time, Will does smile.

“Really?” Dustin actually sounds a little interested, but Will can’t tell if it’s real or for his benefit. Either way, it’s appreciated.

“Wow, so you’ve seen people like Mike and me lots?” Will can’t help himself. He’s never been able to share this side of himself or ask questions with anyone else but Mike, so this is a pretty nice feeling.

“Oh sure! Tons! They’re just normal people after all, but some you can just- tell. It’s really cool though, actually. There’s a lot in, like San Francisco, I heard my dad say once, and even New York has a lot. I guess because it’s such a big city and nobody cares what anybody else is doing, I don’t know.”

Will’s cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling. “Woah, you actually know a surprising amount.”

“Yeah, you pick up some things living in the big city.” Max just grins back at him and pats his back.

“Will?” El speaks for the first time since he first arrived at the quarry. He nods to let her know that he’s listening. “I’m happy that you’re happy again, but I don’t understand why you and Mike were sad? Is gay good or is gay bad? I don’t know.”

Will lets out a small sigh. He really doesn’t know how he feels about having this conversation with El in front of everyone. Or at all. Everyone said they were okay with it now, well, everyone except Lucas, who hasn’t even spoken yet. He might as well get it over with, though. It’s what he came out here for, after all.

“Well, it depends on who you talk to, really. Some people hate it, hate everything about it. But there are some people that just think it shouldn’t matter if you’re a boy and love a boy or a girl and love a girl or even whatever else there might be out there. They say that love is just love and that’s that. Well, that’s what I think. Mike, too. Um, so yeah.” He looked down after finishing, feeling suddenly bashful. Maybe the alcohol was wearing off.

“El, it doesn’t matter who you choose to love. It’s just love, and that’s a beautiful thing. You know that, right?” Everyone looked over to the one that had spoken. There, staring back was Lucas. It was the first time he had spoken since Will had arrived at the quarry and everyone was more than a little shocked by the words coming out of his mouth. The other party members, excluding Mike and Will, had personally heard Lucas go on more than one rant about having queers in the group for so long and not even knowing about it. Now he was speaking again though. “I mean, isn’t that true, El?” Her nod was enough of an answer for Lucas to continue.

“I’m sorry, Will. Everything you said today just made me think and… I was a real asshole. I love you no matter what.”

Will looked at him for a long moment, as if considering, then shook his head wryly. “I-I love you too, but you guys should really be apologizing to Mike.”

Lucas nodded firmly in agreement, his aura radiating determination. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

_____

The soft melodic voices of the band, Chicago were playing in the background, softly droning on. Just say you’ll love me for the rest of your life. I gotta lot of love and I don’t want to let go. Huh. It was just Mike’s luck that the radio would be playing something that only made him think more about his problems, instead of taking his mind off of them. That’s how it usually went, wasn’t it? He was still so scared and hurt by how everything had happened with the party the other day, but more than that, he was worried he’d overstepped things with Will. Maybe he’d gone too far, said too much, and now he’d ruined everything. As the next song popped on, one he didn’t recognize, he heard feet coming down the stairs.

A lot of feet come to think of it, and he hadn’t actually heard that sound in over a week. Mike turned his head towards the sound, where one by one his boyfriend and each of his friends, or ex friends, he wasn’t exactly sure, came around the corner and stopped a few feet away from him.

He blinked a couple of times and then looked at Will, as if to say, um what’s going on here, and then that’s precisely what he did say. “Will, what’s going on? What are they doing here?” He couldn’t keep the bitter edge out of his voice, even as it was clouded by confusion.

“Uh, well they wanted to talk to you.” He could see that Mike was about to interject, and it didn’t look like he had anything nice to say so Will quickly continued before he could put in any words of his own. “Hold on, before you say anything. I already talked to them, okay? And I know this doesn’t fix everything-”

“You’re damn right, it doesn’t!” Mike was on his feet now, looking almost ready for a fight. “I don’t care what you guys think, okay-”

“Sweetie, don’t-”

“No, Will! Are you forgetting what those assholes said to us?! How they treated us?” At this, Will looked down at the floor. He hadn’t forgotten, of course. And sure, it still hurt. But he knew that they meant it when they said they were sorry. “Cause I-I haven’t forgotten.”

“You’re right.” Everyone turned their heads to Will in surprise. “What they said hurt and I can’t just forget that kind of pain, but Mike, look at me.” He walked over to his boyfriend and tipped his chin so it was facing his own face. “They apologized to me, and they meant it. I know they did. So, just give them the chance to do the same to you before you make your choice. Please?” A small smile painted his lips when he saw Mike nod his assent.

The taller teen turned his attention to the rest of the party, who had been looking on in fascination and awe as they watched Will coax Mike into talking with them. Now they seemed to straighten up at having his attention on them.

“Well, talk then.” Mike growled out, clearly impatient and in no mood to be doing this at all.

It struck Max that he was only doing it for Will in the first place, and what a wonderful thing their relationship must actually be. To show that much restraint, clearly uncomfortable and looking ready to crawl out of his own skin. But he stayed, for Will. He didn’t turn them away, for Will. She caught Mike’s eyes and noticed the way his gaze shifted quickly away from hers. Max shook herself out of all of her other thoughts. All she really wanted to do was let him know that she didn’t see him any differently.

“I’m sorry, Mike. I should’ve said something when you guys told us, but I was scared and I thou- well, yeah. I guess, I was just too scared.” Mike kept quiet and looked off to the side. It might seem to ruse to someone else, but Max saw it for what it was. The boy was afraid. She noticed he was clutching Will’s hand, tightly, so she just continued speaking, her tone earnest and soft. “I want you to know that I don’t think of you guys differently, at all.” Mike’s head jerked up to hers at this. “It’s like I told Will, growing up in California, you see gay people all the time. I’m used to all kinds of different people there- I mean, n-not that you guys are different! It’s just not something that everybody l-likes, I guess. I mean- sorry.” She trailed off in a whisper, sighing. Somehow, she had the feeling like she had made things worse, but when she looked at Mike’s face it didn’t look like she had. He had that same wide-eyed look on his face that Will had when she had told him about California and New York.

El patted Max’s arm like she was trying to make her feel better, before she looked at Will and Mike. “Will told me about gay and what it means, so now I know. I’m sorry I didn’t before, Mike. I don’t understand why we dated if you don’t like girls, but you can tell me when you’re ready, okay?”

Mike’s face paled and the group could see Will squeeze his palm. Then Mike said, in a barely there voice, “O-okay.”

El nodded and smiled. “Okay. I’m always here for both of you. Promise.” Everyone felt themselves relax a little when Mike gave her a small grin.

Surprisingly, Lucas was the next to speak up. “Mike. I’ll just get right to it. I know I said some shit things.” Mike let out a snort, but otherwise kept silent, allowing the other teen to continue. “I was a total ass, okay?! And, and I’m just so sorry, man!” Mike was shocked, not by the words, but because Lucas was crying. It’s not that he’d never seen him cry, but it must’ve been a few years at least.

“W-wait, you’re serious right now? This isn’t a joke, right?” Mike was wary, but hopeful. He stepped up to his friend, who suddenly rushed him, pulling him into a massive hug which nobody expected.

“You should love whoever you love, I know that! That’s your right. And you and Will are two of my best friends! Fuck, why would I ever try to stop you from being together? What kind of dick am I?!” Mike didn’t know what to say, so he just did his best to comfort Lucas, rubbing his back and telling him it was alright, everything was fine, but Lucas insisted that everything was not fine, he was actually a giant tool that shouldn’t even be forgiven.

That actually got Mike a laugh out of Mike and it was like the dams breaking open. Then Dustin was running over to them with tears in his eyes, pulling Will in and creating a group hug between the four boys, which Lucas complained about, still grinning ear to ear with his own tear stained face.

“This is Mine and Mike’s moment, Dustin!” Lucas tried shoving the curly haired boy off, playfully.

Dustin just pushed back, ignoring him completely. “But I’m sorry, too! God, can we all just agree that everyone here are assholes except for Will and Mike? And maybe Jane, because there’s a lot she still doesn’t know?”

“Oh, okay actually, yes. I can totally get with that.” Lucas chances a look at his two friends, grinning when he sees that they’re both actually smiling.

“Hey, you two get in here!” And then Mike’s pulling Max into the Hug, and Max is grabbing onto El to drag her into the lovefest and they’re all just hugging. They’ll deny the tears until years later.

_____

Later, when everyone else has gone home and it’s just Mike and Will, they will listen to much happier songs on the radio and talk and Will will mention to Mike that one day, when they do decide to move away, because they will, they should maybe think about New York or California. He hears San Francisco is nice. Mike will whole-heartedly agree. Besides, as long as he’s got his boy by his side, they’ll be alright.

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (21)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count -  61,976

MASTERLIST

Chapter Twenty-one - A Kitten In A Birds Nest

It was kind of a relief to realize that the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. You may have handed your virginity over on a sliver platter to him and enjoyed every second but make no mistake, You absolutely hated Bucky Barnes.

“Bucky, get up!” You hissed at him.

Yes, waking up in his arms had been the most transcendent experience of your life. His warmth had surrounded you all night so even deep in sleep you knew you were safe and protected. His arms, one metal, one flesh had cocooned you perfectly, never too tight. Seeing his sleeping face, his expression peaceful and his hair spread over your pillow when you opened your eyes had made a warm fuzzy feeling blossom in your chest.

Then you had looked at the time. It was past dawn and since most days you were woken up by someone walking into your room, he could not be here. He was awake, there was no way he wasn’t. You’d been whisper shouting at him for the last few minutes as you raced around the room, picking up his clothes.

“I swear to god Barnes!”

Still nothing. He was defiantly ignoring you and you’d had enough. Standing over him you attempted to shove at his shoulder but suddenly there was a sensation of falling and the whole room was spinning. You blinked at Bucky in surprise. You were flat on your back on the bed, his forearms resting on either side of your head while his body hovered over yours.

“What the fuck Bucky?”

He didn’t answer, just lazily nuzzled into your neck. You realized with a start that Bucky Barnes was adorably sleepy and was trying to buy your silence with affection.

“You have to go to your own room.” You whined half heartedly.

“You got shot doll, nobody is going to want to wake you up this early.” He groused, his voice thick with sleep.

“But if they do...” You stuttered, his stubble was rubbing against the skin of your neck and it was distracting.

“If they do, what?” He asked.

“They’ll see you.”

“And?”

“That would be bad, very very bad.” You sighed.

He lifted his head to look at you. There was a flash of hurt in his eyes.

“James...”

“I get it, can’t have people thinking you don’t hate me.” He said and rolled off at you.

You were suddenly very cold and it wasn’t just because of the loss of his body heat.

“Nobody can know this happened, because of Tony’s parents.” You stated and he stilled.

It was something you had never discussed or brought up with him before.

“Because I killed them.” He said sadly, resignedly.

“Because Hydra killed them and they used you to do it.” You corrected.

“It was still me. And Tony Starks daughter could never be with the man who murdered his parents.”

“He knows it wasn’t you, he does. He’s not angry, he doesn’t hate you. But the last the last thing his parents saw was your face and thats something he can’t forget. Every time he look at you he remembers it and it hurts him. I can’t risk him feeling that way when he looks at me Bucky, I can’t.” Your eyes were wet as you pleaded with him to understand.

“Don’t worry doll, Tony will never know you’ve been tainted by me. I’ll just be your dirty little secret.” He snapped, pulling his jeans on.

The tears spilled down your cheeks when you heard the way he said those words. Such anger and loathing but it wasn’t aimed at you, it was all for himself.

“Buck wait that’s not what I, Bucky stop!” You yelled the last part when he headed for the door.

You didn’t know what to say, you had just wanted to stop him leaving like this. So you tried honesty, you let your feeling pour out, unfiltered.

“Tony didn’t have to rescue me, he could have let the X-Men do it. He didn’t have to keep me or give me a home, he didn’t have to be so fucking patient with me. He never once snapped at me when I was asking him benign questions every five seconds or when I followed him everywhere, he didn’t make me feel weird when I crawled under his desk or wouldn’t go into a room without listening at the door first. I was freak, a broken thing and he took me in and he didn’t fix me, he stood by me and helped me fix myself. I can’t hurt him Bucky, I just can’t. But I never meant to hurt you either.”

He looked back at you and his eyes were so full of pain it knocked the breath from your lungs.

“You deserve better than me anyway sweetheart. No hard feelings.”

And then he was gone. You wanted to chase after him, to scream at him for saying such things about himself, to kiss him and show him how much you cared. But you just sat on the bed and cried because sometimes, when you hurt someone, you can’t fix it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eventually hunger drove you from the sanctity of your room. Your heart was aching and you felt heavy with regret and grief. You dragged yourself to the kitchen with a blanket round your shoulders, the soft cotton acting like a shield between you and the world. You raided the cupboards for some protein bars and grabbed a bottle of water before trudging back to your room.

You were so distracted by your grief you didn’t even notice Natasha watched you from the sofa, noting your dejected body language. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as you waddled away. Something was wrong with you and she was going to figure out what.

“Post mission blues?” She called out.

You paused before poking you head back through the door, you eyes red and puffy.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” You croaked and scurried away before she could call you out on your lie.

You heard her get up knew she was following you so. Natasha could read someone with a single look, she was like a ninja Sherlock Holmes. You couldn’t face her right now so like the brave super soldier mutant you were you ran away, your blanket flapping behind you like a cape.

You raced along the corridors searching for somewhere to hide, you obviously couldn’t go back to your room now. You couldn’t go to the lab, your dad would want to know what was wrong. In fact you couldn’t hide out in someone else’s room for the same reason.

“Psst.” Someone said.

You craned your neck back to see Clint leaning out of the vent in the ceiling.

“Hiding from Nat?”

“How did you know?”

“Nat’s the only one who could put such a fearful look on someone’s face.” he explained, offering you a hand.

You only had a few seconds max before Natasha caught up but if you accepted you’d be stuck in the vents with Clint. Who was much more gullible and easier to lie to. Or threaten into silence. You shoved your water and protein bars into your pockets and jumped up to grab his hand, letting him pull you into the vents. He replaced the grate and held a finger to his lips to silence you. You peered out of the grate to see a silent red head walk underneath it and internally breathed a sigh of relief.

Clint grinned and gave you a thumbs up, pointing behind himself and motioning you to follow. He crawled away and since you didn’t have many other options you followed him. When had your life become this strange? You were following a killer archer through a ventilation system to hide from a deadly former assassin because you didn’t want her to know you’d slept with another deadly former assassin. You couldn’t make this stuff up, It was like some lonely, depressed maniac with an overactive imagination and too much time on her hands was in charge of your decisions……

You followed him for a few minutes before he led you a corner that he’d made a nest in and you snorted. He looked back over his shoulder at you with a raised brow.

“Sorry, it’s just you have an actual nest.” You chuckled.

It’s my man cave, where I come to hide from Natasha. And keep my stuff where Wilson can’t mess with it.” He told you.

Sure enough, there were arrows scattered around and piles of magazines and books.

He settled down and waved around.

“Make yourself at home, me nest su nest.”

“Thanks.” You replied, sitting cross legged and pulling your blanket cape around yourself tightly.

You dug your protein bars out of your pocket and ripped one open with your teeth but before you could take a bite Clint snatched it out of your hands with a look of disgust.

“No. Bad Kitty.” He admonished, bopping you on the nose.

You were close to biting his finger off if he tried that again when he shoved a bag of M&M’s into your hands. You cooed happily and tore them open, digging in. Clint grabbed a handful and settled with his back against the wall, watching you thoughtfully.

“So what’s got your panties in a bunch?” He asked.

You almost flinched at his phrasing but caught yourself. You couldn’t tell him everything but you had to tell him something so you opted for a watered down version of the truth.

“I think I might want something I can’t have and I went after it. Now I’ve hurt other people and I don’t know how I could have been so selfish or stupid.” You admitted.

“Is this about you going after Docherty alone?” he wondered, perplexed by your vague problem.

“Yes…..” You lied.

“Well, it was stupid. You messed up but you know you did and you can’t take it back but you can try to do better next time. But it’s a complicated situation and you did what your heart was telling you to do. That doesn’t make you a bad person, even if people got hurt in the process. Those people you’re worried about love you and would do anything for you, they’ll forgive you.” He said.

You were both talking about very different problems but someone what he said applied to your situation with Bucky. At least you hoped it did.

“If one of your kids did something they knew would hurt you but they didn’t do it because it would hurt you, could you forgive them?” You asked.

“It depends on what it was and whether it hurt them I think. I just want my kids to be happy and safe, that’s all that really matters.”

“So if it made them happy, really really happy and it would hurt them not to do it… You’d forgive them, even if it hurt you.” You clarified.

“As a parent there’s very little your kids could do that you wouldn’t forgive. Even if it breaks your heart, it’s very hard to stay angry at them.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m scared of Tony hating me, being mad at me but I’m more afraid he’d just keep loving me, even when I was causing him pain.” You admitted.

“Ok I’m lost. What are we talking about again?”

“Nothing Clint, it’s fine.” You sniffled.

“Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out. I have faith in you, after everything I’ve seen you achieve.”

“Thanks Clint.”

“Maybe, if you need advice ask Laura. She’s better at this sort of thing. You and Wanda are still coming for the weekend right? I’m flying us to the farm tomorrow morning.”

“You know what? I don’t think this trip could have come at a better time.” You admitted, shoving a handful of M&M’s into your mouth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After spending a couple of hours in the vents with Clint, throwing M&M’s into each other mouths and seeing who had better aim (him, obviously) you had finally emerged only to land directly in front of a waiting Natasha. You sighed heavily.

“Please don’t. Not yet. I promise I’ll tell you what’s wrong, but I can’t yet.” You admitted.

“Alright Kotonok, you can tell me at the farm, away from here.” She allowed, offering your hand for you to shake on it.

You shook her hand, sealing the pact and knew you would have to admit everything to her soon but at least you had a little bit of time to process it first.

You waved at her and headed off to your room, changing into your sweats and a tank top. You weren’t allowed to spar or work out for at least a week, until your shoulder healed up but you figured that you could at least use the treadmill. Even if you weren’t supposed to, what Bruce didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. Besides, you really needed a way to release all the pent up energy inside you, you needed an outlet.

The problem was, you weren’t the only one. As soon as you walked into the gym you saw him. He was going to town on a punching bag, like it had personally offended him. Probably imagining your face on it. He stilled as he heard you come in, the muscles on his back tensing. He stood like that for a second before continuing like nothing was wrong.

You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t be in the same room as him. Every single cell in your body was begging you to run to him. It was like there a string tied around your heart and he was tugging on it.  You turned on your heel and walked back out but you couldn’t bring yourself to just leave without saying anything, there was something he needed to know.

“You said I deserved better than you. That’s not true. Even when we were fighting, when I was being cruel to you, you dragged me away from those journalists. You could have just got me away from them and called it your good deed for the day but you took me to the one person who could help me. You had my back in the field, leaving the main fight so I wouldn’t be alone. You have never once mentioned what you must have seen that day, when you saw Vernichtung. You came after me on a date because you were worried about me. You forgave me for hurting you and held my hand at my mothers funeral. I don’t deserve better than you, I don’t even deserve you at all. But Bucky, I want you. I need you.” You told him, sighing and walking away.

“You have me.” He whispered, but you were already gone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I DID IT! I got the chapter done! WOOOO! Fuck you mean anons, and thank you nice, kind people who helped build my confidence back up. All the private mesages and anonymous kind words made me feel supported. 

Next Time On Name Calling - Reader and the girls go to the farm and reader finally meets a chicken. 

I write Clint as a weird blend of MCU Clint and comic Clint, I don’t really know why. 

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt@meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

[kyunsmaindish]

Entry [2/??]

Note before starting: The game itself has been adapted so that it can’t resemble BTS anymore so please treat all the characters from it as independent from BTS. Also, I will be re-updating my OC’s info since I started writing this again.

  Four doesn’t really like me. At least, I don’t think he does. 

  There’s a few fundamental differences that exist between Four and I. One, he’s a combat unit and I’m not. And yet, despite this, I walk around like I’m hot shit and I know whatever I let fly out of my mouth without restraint probably irritates him. Two, he’s cold for the most part and I’m the opposite. He’s responsible and serious, but whenever we end up on missions together I always end up messing around too much for this liking. He knows I understand the way I’m acting and that I don’t make much of an effort to appeal to his preferences. 

  He protects me on missions because he has to - because that’s the kind of guy he is. He’ll be the first to move to rescue me (and he has, I might add) from a stray bullet whistling through the air or a blade coming my way. 

  So, to put it simply, I’m a pain in the ass he always has to take care of. I’m aware of it enough to feel guilty about it, but I’m not capable enough to pay it back the same way. I can’t use my arms and legs to save him the way he saves me. I can’t protect him the same way he does for me or give him the sensation of being protected when he has my back. Everything is paid back in way that is less than satisfactory for me.

  “Why didn’t you listen to Ten?” Four is quick to get directly to the issue. 

  Even Ten didn’t walk in that pissed off like he did. I had already been chewed up by Ten and their lecture to the point Dr. Park shooed them out before they could get another word in so I could rest without stress. Four is different, though, cause he doesn’t particularly have a care for what Dr. Park has to say. 

  As for me, I’m content with finding the spot on the ceiling interesting than another talking to, but I know if I don’t respond enough this time is going to be even more unpleasant than before. 

  I take a small breath in, the entire side of my body sensing stinging pain that sinks into the muscles. I didn’t pay attention to where the Magician wandered off to in the middle of the mission. The shattering glass and rising smoke masked her presence and all I could think about that time was that the balcony where Four was poised had started coming down. A rushing prey must have looked delicious to her. 

  “Sorry,” I reply softly, closing my eyes. 

  “Sorry doesn’t mean a damn thing now,” He fires back. “Dr. Park says you’ll be out for another week or so. Your team’s down a person because you didn’t listen to your leader.” 

  “Right,” I respond as if I’m agreeing to a fact and not to a scolding. 

  It ticks him off more that I’m being too nonchalant about it. I’m not. I just can’t feel anything right now. Why am I shrinking away? 

  Oh. I let him down. So I don’t feel good. That’s how it is. 

  “You really don’t have anything else you want to say?” 

  I don’t like this.

  “You run around, acting like this is all fun and games and can’t even own up to any of it when shit goes wrong.”

  I hate this actually. 

  “Can you, for once--”

  Something snaps. I’ve pushed my upper body off the medical bed before he can get another word out. Something about my sudden surge of emotions must catch him off guard even if only slightly because he tenses up a little. I can’t tell how I’m looking at him but it must be enough for him to stop speaking. He’s not someone to back down, even if I’m acting this way, so he’s just being kind enough to let me have my outburst before he goes back to doing what he does best when I make a mistake.

  “Shut up, Four! Jesus, just shut up!” I’m yelling at him, shrugging off the pain in my body with all I have. Most of my anger is coming from that rather than anything he did. I’m venting, struggling against how I feel and what I want to say. It’s all coming out wrong. I’m jumbling my words, fumbling around in to look for things to say that aren’t even true or fair. 

  “I disobeyed orders to save your ass that was halfway ready to go splat on the damn ground! So, I’m sorry, okay? I know I should have stayed put instead of trying to engage in combat. I know!” I can’t keep it up anymore and crash back onto the medical bed. 

  “If you know then you should have stayed there,” Four answers as calm as he always does. “Even if I’m in danger. You don’t move. I can take care of myself. I don’t need you coming in to play hero when you can’t even do it, got it?”

  I breathe again. It stings like before but with the way this conversation is going it hurts even more than last time. I’m exhausted from arguing with him like this all the time, so I nod, closing my eyes again and breathing. Dr. Park told me just to breathe to get used to the pain. 

  It’s like always. We’re trying to say the same thing and not understanding one another.

  “Got it.” I concede this time. 

  It’s quiet for a while before the doors to the lab open and the distinct sound of Dr. Park coming and Four leaving hit my ears. I fall asleep before she can ask me any questions. 

  The next time we’re paired up for a mission (and after a few more times where Ten quite literally chucks me around the training facility), I don’t even mutter a single word aside from ‘roger’. Alpha and Beta sometimes collaborate together and sometimes I can see Eight again. Two Sirens are better than one when we’re crashing a huge party. They pair me up with Four because of whatever reason ( ‘It’s to keep away anybody who might get in the way of his shot’ ) and we don’t utter single word to each other as we tiptoe around this place. Everything feels so heavy on both of us.

  The music is too loud. My head is hurting. I don’t want to look at Four too much. What did I say to the people that tried to come in at our vantage point? I don’t know. I can’t remember. Four would remember.

  When I see him in his outfit - decked from head to toe in black armor and the red screen across his eyes - I suddenly realize that I mess around with him too much. He’s poised, ready to do what he has to. He’s cold, but not that cold. But I wish I could see that somewhere different.

  I’m sorry, Four.

  The sound of the gun splits through the festivities of the night. I flinch. I can’t help it.

  “Got ‘em,” Four states, but a silence comes in afterwards. 

  My eyes can see the panic down below. Everyone is moving quickly, tripping and cursing all around while looking for the way out. We have to go. I open my mouth but close it at the sight of him already packing up his gun. There’s nothing to say to him anyway. Anything that comes out will be fumbled, in poor taste even.

  I let Four get in front of me, keeping my eyes downward. He’s most likely already noticed that there’s something off because usually I’m several steps ahead of him. I keep myself small, though, and match his movements, so focused on the growing pain in my head at all the thoughts that I don’t even take notice to anything around me. 

  “You have a problem?” I ask. 

  Because Four is at my open door, hands in the pockets of his jacket. Because I refuse to look up from my book that I ended up borrowing from another operative for the sole reason that I wanted to be their friend. Get to know the person you want to be friends with and all that. 

  “Don’t be smart,” he responds, stepping through the threshold.

  I roll my eyes and toss the book onto my bed. “I didn’t get in the way so I don’t know what else you have to be upset about.”

  “The attitude, for one, actually.”

  A scowl sets itself on my lips. He mirrors my expression slightly. There’s a short silence before he breathes in and speaks. “You didn’t even argue when I told you to do something. You held yourself back jumping into fights, too.”

  “Is that bad?” I raise an eyebrow at him, confused.

   “No,” he answers, “That’s the way you should be on missions, but you shouldn’t be a whole different person.”

  I don’t have anything to say in return, so he takes it as a cue to go on.

  “If it’s about what happened before--” 

  Now, I do have something to say. “Stop. Please, stop.” I breathe in. “Yes, it is about what happened before. Of course it is. But--” I put an emphasis on that word. “It was still my decision to change. With that being said, goodbye.”

  I’m avoiding the real issue here.

  “Not goodbye,” Four replies, letting out a frustrated sigh afterwards. I feel myself shrink again.

  “I didn’t want to cause any problems this time around,” I cut in.

  “That’s a bit of a surprise,” he mutters, looking to the side quickly before lack at me. “You usually are fine with causing a bit of problems.”

  “I...” What do I say to that? “...know, but I didn’t want to give you anymore trouble.”

  That made it awkward for a solid half a second before my lips start moving again to recover the situation. After all, even if he’d appreciate the sentimentality, whose to say it’s appropriate right now. I’m reaching out, but it might not be the time to do so. We’re still not seeing each other the way we should. 

  “I’m sorry.” 

  It’s so quiet in my room tonight. Four is still across from me, and I’ve already returned to my book. I’ve said what I wanted, so I push him back. It doesn’t work well like this, but it’s not the time yet. 

  “It’s okay,” he says, finally. “It’s...okay.” 

  My grip on the book tightens slightly, a forced smile shows up on my face. He’ll notice it sure enough. He knows I don’t think it’s okay. We’ll have to be content with ending the conversation here. 

  “Alright. Goodbye.” My voice is a little strained. 

  I have so much I’m thinking about. My head hurts from it all. So much to think and nothing to show for it at all. I understand certain complexities of the situation - of him, of myself, of our lives now - but I don’t dare to speak a single word of it. I’m still scared to open it all up to others. Why disturb the water’s surface if it looks peaceful?

  “Bring me dessert, please, Four?” I’ll cover up again. “Pretty please? With a cherry on top?” And again. Again. 

  “Now you’re back to old self again.” He clicks his tongue. “Dessert? Don’t you need to sleep?”

  “Don’t say that! I deserve a reward for all my hardwork.”

  “You just followed me around.”

  “Which was an extremely difficult job might I say. I get bored staring at your back all the time.”

  “Then we won’t go any more missions together if that’s what you want.”

  “No! Then you’ll be devastated without me.”

  “Absolutely not.”

[drivingsideways]

Episodes 7 & 8

Spoilers and yelling under the cut

Well, just a note that I really love the theme music, esp the bit they use as the love theme. 

-honestly I feel bad for Feng Hao. Like sure, he’s not the sharpest tool in the box, and frankly, he’s like..entitled and annoying until this part of the series, but the dude has a point about the whole “at least tell me the truth before i die!!!” thing. 

-Anyways, the Feng/Qiu family dynamic is also so interesting- Feng Zhiwei and Feng Hao are such different personalities! My guess is that Mingying both devoted a lot of her resources to making sure Feng Zhiwei would be “ready” when the time came, but also held her to impossibly high standards! Feng Zhiwei is scared of her mom in ways that Feng Hao is not! And perhaps Qiu Mingying compensated for (placing Feng Zhiwei first) with spoiling Feng Hao, so that he basically got away with being an idiot most of the time. 

-Prince of Chu literally jumping in between Feng Zhiwei and a sword *starry eyes *

-Hahaha, Feng Zhiwei being all like “you better fucking save my mother and brother, PRINCE” before she realizes he’s actually wounded. Also, the fact that she calls him Mr.Tailor before she calls him Prince of Chu (oh no oh no!)

I think Ning Yi never realized the depth of her devotion to Qiu Mingying and Feng Hao, though honestly, he should have- starting from when she’s willing to take her mother’s crime upon her? Somehow he doesn’t seem to grasp, later, how much their deaths devastated her, especially since she blames her own existence for that.  

-Oh no, Ning Yi trying to tease her because he doesn’t know how to deal with her distress! (also the soft lighting and the general intimacy of that scene, THANKS FOR NOTHING SHOW)

-Feng Zhiwei blaming herself for everything-pretty similar to how Ning Yi also internalizes blame and guilt-in some ways they are both so similar in this, that’s perhaps one of the reasons that they can’t talk through things, later. 

-Ning Yi has like 50 expressions in the space of 1 minute going from “oh no i need to comfort her which is awkward and weird and i’d best deflect her by teasing to oh fuck what am i doing”, the entire thing is delicious, YOU COMPLETE IDIOT NING YI. 

-OH NO NING YI’S TINY SMILE AT NING CHENG TO LET HIM KNOW HE’S MOSTLY OK while they stage a drama for Official Zhao. OH NO I AM HERE FOR THEIR FRIENDSHIP ALL THE TIME

-Chen Kun’s cheekbones should be declared illegal, that’s just a fact. 

-Ning Cheng is the best because he knows when he’d be An Intruder (the way he sneaks off while Feng Zhiwei is being nurse-maid to a sleeping Ning Yi is so cuuuuute) 

-I wish there were subs for the song that plays over this scene. 

-Poor Zhiwei- so conscious of the seriousness of her oath, which she doesn’t fully understand, and also this-something- she feels for Ning Yi, which she doesn’t quite understand, either. 

-Ning Yi watching her sleep, don’t be a creeper, Ning Yi, sorry, this whole trope was ruined for me with Twilight, and I can’t stand seeing it on screen anymore! 

-His exaggerating the pain to deflect- you’re such a loser, NY, omg. lol i love how she sees through him. That’s one of my favourite parts of this pairing at the start, how they intuit each other’s true feelings/intentions more often than not. But that can never be a substitute for actual talking???about things??? and you can see how they fail at the end. GOD I AM MAKING MYSELF SAD IN ADVANCE. 

-HOW HAD I FORGOTTEN THE HALF REVEAL OF A COLLAR BONE, THANK GOD FENG ZHIWEI STOPS HIM, I THINK WE WOULD HAVE ALL GONE UP IN SMOKE OTHERWISE. 

-LISTEN CHEN KUN’S CHEEKBONES ARE A HAZARD TO PUBLIC SAFETY

 * AMBULANCE SIRENS IN THE DISTANCE *

- Ning Yan, you’re like not even playing in the same league as your brothers, I’m so glad you died fast. Like honestly, Ning Chuan’s expression alone should have made you run for the hills, but you actually thought you were getting somewhere. 

-Note on the sets at Prince of Chu’s residence- I fucking love that room with the opera masks - need to find a BTS video subbed in English to figure out more about them, but 100% that was a great choice for Ning Yi’s personality, and we often see him framed against those, as I recall. 

-The repeated theme of “hiding” from Feng Zhiwei- the first time they meet, he’s literally hiding from her behind a screen at the House of Lanxiang, until he knocks it down because he’s curious about her-and now he’s hiding in a different way, because he doesn’t want to answer her questions-but she’s literally like “there’s no place to hide” and just *sigh * i love how that’s both literal and metaphorical in this story between them. Ning Yi has spent his life hiding-his feelings, his skills, his intelligence- and Feng Zhiwei forces all of that out into the sunlight, so to speak. *starry eyed about it *

-I love how Ning Cheng is all of us, if he had popcorn, you bet he’d be eating it right now. 

-XZ being all passive aggressive about Feng Zhiwei *cough cough *

-XZ has no second thoughts about sacrificing the entire Qiu family if it will eliminate Ning Chuan, although the earlier, the killing of the canal workers troubled him quite a bit. It’s Ning Yi who says “I don’t want my throne to be tainted with innocent blood”. Idk why XZ feels differently about the canal workers vs the Qiu family- perhaps, on some level, he can justify this by saying that they *were * after all, “enemy of the state”- and their fate would be the same whether it was the Emperor who dealt the killing blow or them- so in XZ’s scheme of things, it just makes sense to use it to their advantage, as the outcome would not have varied, in any case. Unlike the canal workers, who were entirely caught up in this by accident. 

-I like how Ning Yi says the line “I’m the only one who can protect her”, twice; the first time is a justification to XZ, the second is a justification to *himself *.  And XZ knows it too. 

-lol NY’s absolute fury at Feng Zhiwei being like “so long and thanks for all the fish” - god, he hates having his plans interfered with, and this woman just won’t listen, will she?

-Idk if this is a subbing issue, but occasionally, there are lines,esp idioms that seem completely out of place in the show. For eg “Each man for himself, the devil take the hindmost” is something both Gu Yan and Col Qiu say; and in this episode Col Qiu says “Man proposes, God disposes” which seems really weird. Anyways. 

-Oh Ning Yi, the relief he feels when he sees Feng Zhiwei safe-under his roof, thanks to Chief Gu-after that whole dialogue earlier to Col Qiu about “Wouldn’t it be better if a person didn’t have to care for other people” . *cackling * My poor prince, having to spend his life pretending he doesn’t care, when the problem is that he cares *too much * (about some people!)

-The scene between Gu Yan and Qiu Mingying is one of the best scenes in the show! For one, it features Qiu Mingying who gets tooo few scenes, gdi. Second, god I love how she uses her silence as a weapon here- in the Qiu household, she had to stay silent, swallowing every insult until it became truly dangerous to be silent, and she makes her thoughts known very strongly- but here she reduces Gu Yan to tears with her silence. If she had (justifiably) given  vent to her anger, I don’t think it would have been half as effective! The person who holds the power in that room is not the Chief of the Royal Guards, it is that unyielding woman and her silence. 

-Honestly, all the actors in this series are so GOOD, like Hai Yitian as Ning Chuan is just perfect as the paranoid, menacing and not very competent Crown Prince. 

And finally, gosh, I love our manipulative Prince of Chu literally setting a “little cat” among the pigeons.

[teenwolffan-with-nolife]

The Witch and The Wolf Pt.4

Word Count: 1,434

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Reader, OC character

Warnings: some angst, some fluff

Pairings: Eventual Derek Hale x Reader

A/N: enjoy

Masterlist

You were losing a lot of sleep since Derek came back. You didn't know what it was, but nothing seemed to help. So, you were awake, lying in your bed, when you heard your mom’s voice. You looked at the time, it was 3 AM. You slowly got off of the bed, approaching your mom’s room.

“Mom?” you said softly. She didn't reply.

“Mom?” you said again, knocking on her door.

“C-Come in,” she said.

“Are you okay? It’s 3 in the morning,” you asked, looking concerned.

“I’m okay, why are you awake?” your mom sniffled, moving to the side to give you room to sit with her.

“Can't sleep. Are you sure?” you asked.

“Yeah. (Y/N), you know that I love you, right?” your mom asked shakily.

“Well, yeah of course. I love you too, Mom,” you replied, giving her a hug.

“Good. Just remember that. And also remember that some things happen for a reason, and sometimes, you can't stop them,” 

You felt your heart ache as your mom said those words.

“Mom, what’s going on? What's wrong?” you asked.

“Nothing, (Y/N). I love you. You should try to go to sleep.” your mom said, turning away from you.

“Mom?” you said.

“Goodnight (Y/N).” 

You sighed, going back to your room.

-----

“Hello Stiles,” you smiled, popping your head into his car window.

“Wow,” Stiles laughed.

“So you know why I’m here?” you asked.

“Of course I do. Yes, you can have a ride,” Stiles said.

“Thank you. I lost my keys,” you replied, getting into his car.

“Well if you lost your keys, maybe you don't need a car,” Stiles shrugged.

“That's what my mom said,” you rolled your eyes. Stiles backed the car up, starting to drive.

“Holy sh-” he jerked the car.

“What the hell happened?” you asked, looking alert.

The two of you got out of the car, looking at what happened. In front of the car, on the floor, was a pale, almost lifeless Derek.

“Derek,” you bent to the ground, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“What the hell happened?” you watched Scott run to you three.

“I got shot,” he said, his breathing was labored as he looked like he was barely holding on.

“He doesn't look so good,” Stiles said.

You looked at the bullet wound in his arm.

“Why aren’t you healing?” you asked softly.

“I-I can’t. It was… It was a different bullet”, he stuttered. He was still breathing heavily.

“What? Like a silver bullet?!” Stiles exclaimed.

“No, you idiot,” Derek growled at Stiles.

“W-Wait, that’s what she meant when she said you had 48 hours.” Scott realized.

“What?” you and Derek said together.

“Who?” you asked.

“The one who shot you,” Scott replied.

Derek groaned loudly, as you saw his eyes flicker from blue to his natural green.

You looked back to all the cars that were being held up. People started getting out of their cars.

“Scott, take him to Stiles’ car,” you commanded. He nodded, lifting Derek up.

“What?” Stiles said.

“Oh shut up! Let’s go somewhere safe. Come on!” you exclaimed, running into the backseat.

“Who shot you?” you asked him.

“I-It was Kate,”

-----

“Hey, try not to bleed out on my sheets,” Stiles said to Derek.

“Stiles!” you hissed.

“Have a heart,” you gave him a look.

“Fine. We’re almost there anyway.” Stiles said.

“Almost where?” you asked.

“To Derek’s house,” Stiles replied.

“Hell no! We can’t go there,” you exclaimed.

“What? I-I can’t take him to his own house?!” Stiles exclaimed.

“No, not when he’s vulnerable,” you said, looking to him.

“Fine. What about your house?” Stiles suggested.

“No. The first thing she’ll do is look for your mom,” Derek replied shakily.

“Alright.” Stiles pulled to the side.

“What happens if Scott doesn’t find your little magic bullet?” Stiles asked.

“A-Are you dying?” he asked.

“Not yet,” he answered.

“I have a last resort,” he exhaled.

He turned back to you.

“(Y/N)?” he said shakily.

“I’ll do a spell, right now. Uh, Stiles, find someplace for us to go,” you said.

“When did this become my problem?!” Stiles exclaimed.

“Start the car, or I’ll rip your head off…. With my teeth.” Derek barked.

Stiles froze for a second, before starting the car.

----

Scott told you where to find a key for the animal shelter. You unlocked it as you and Stiles helped Derek in.

“Stiles, go find some bandages and some gauze,” you told him.

Instead of arguing, he nodded his head, running off.

“Give me your arm,” you said, holding it.

You closed your eyes, using your magic to determine why he wasn’t healing, and what it was.

“Blue monkshed.” you gasped.

“S-Scott needs to bring the bullet back,” Derek said.

“I know. Just sit here, please,” you told him.

You texted Scott telling him how it looked, and what he needed to find.

“What’s taking him so long?” Stiles ran into the room.

“I don’t know!” you exclaimed.

“(Y/N),” he said softly.

“Yeah?” you stood next to him, holding his hand.

“Y-You and your mom are the only family I have left.” he started.

“W-What are you trying to say?” you asked.

“I’m sorry,” he said. You could see the sweat dripping from his forehead as his eyes were bloodshot.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” you stroked his hair softly.

“I care about you two so much,” he said softly.

Your eyes watered.

“Shut up. Why are you saying goodbye? You’ll be okay.” you sniffled.

“(Y/N)...” he said.

“No, you’re gonna be okay. You’re a survivor, remember? You’re the last Hale! You have to stay alive.” you said.

You saw his eyes turn blue as he closed them tightly. He let out a soft groan.

“Here, we’ll cut off your arm,” you said.

��What?!” Stiles yelled.

“Yeah. Stiles, get the handsaw,” you said.

“You’re crazy!” Stiles yelled.

“Yeah, I know!” you yelled back.

“I got it! I got it!” Scott yelled, running into the room.

“Oh thank god!” he exclaimed.

Derek took the bullet from Scott. He looked at it, before he dropped it, falling to the ground.

“Oh shit!” Scott yelled. The bullet fell through the vent, on the ground.

“Derek!” you yelled. You sat on top of him, shaking harshly.

“Wake up you dumbass! You’re not dying on us like that!” you yelled.

You watched Scott struggle to get the bullet.

“I-I can’t reach it,” he said.

“Keep trying,” you said.

“(Y/N), he’s not waking up,” Stiles said softly.

“Derek, I’m not losing you too,” you said shakily. More and more tears came to your eyes.

“I got it!” Scott exclaimed, holding the bullet.

“Okay, give it to me,” you said, putting your hand out.

Scott handed it to you.

“Give me a lighter,” you told Stiles.

You pulled open the bullet, collecting the grains from inside it, and setting it on fire. 

“Okay,” you took a deep breath, sticking the grains into his wounds.

His eyes opened, glowing blue as he let out a loud growl. You held him down. He let out a scream of pain, as the veins and the wound started to disappear.

He exhaled, breathing heavily. You helped him up.

“Are you okay?” Scott asked.

“Well, except for the agonizing pain,” Derek replied sarcastically.

“Well, I guess sarcasm is a good sign of health…..” Stiles said.

“Thank you,” you said to Scott and Stiles.

“Let’s go,” Derek said to you.

You nodded your head as you wrapped your arms around his waist, walking out with him.

-----

“You know, I saw you cry over me,” Derek smirked.

“Shut up. You know, you really do know how to ruin a moment?” you crossed your arms.

“Fine. Thank you,” he smiled. You wrapped an arm around his waist while he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“You’re welcome. Look, I’ll help you kill the alpha, and I’ll help you with Kate. But no more killing innocent people, okay?” you asked him.

“Okay.” you rested your head on his chest.

“You’re short,” he laughed.

“Well, I can still beat your 6-foot ass.” you shrugged.

“If that’s what you wanna think,” he replied.

You rolled your eyes. A moment of silence passed before Derek spoke again.

“Do you think that Kate could’ve killed Laura?” he asked.

“I-I don’t know,” you sighed.

“I want answers. I need answers,” he said.

“I know. And we’ll get some. I just think it’ll take time,” you said.

“Yeah. Well, you should go home now. It’s getting late,” he said. 

The two of you sat in the car, driving off.

[pimientos-especiales]

“We spent half the day shopping for things to improve YOUR room and you’ve just been rude to us!”

Yeah well fucking first of all, I didn’t ask you to do that. YOU decided I needed to change out almost all the furniture in my room, you didn’t even let me say “No, I’m fine with the furniture I have now, the furniture I specifically picked out because I like it”, you decided I need to replace all this furniture even though we’re not swimming in wealth and those bookcases are only like a year old, you decided what furniture I was going to have to replace it, and when you graciously allowed me to choose the colors you dismissed my first choice for one of the items because it “doesn’t match anything in my room” even though it DOES and your whole thing was that I should “select a new color scheme”. So, okay, TL;DR - you spent half a day shopping for stuff YOU decided I need, YOU picked out, and YOU didn’t even let me pick the color on, for me. Okay. 

And then of course nobody tells me when to expect you back so I don’t know if I should have a late lunch, or an early lunch and a snack, or just eat dinner on my own, and you come back and my sister’s bitching about being hungry, so then she eats a bagel and I’m ridiculous for wondering when we’re supposed to be having dinner then if she just ate, she snarks at me that I’m welcome to start dinner even though she always ALWAYS ALWAYS fucking bitches about whatever I want to make and nobody tells me what we’re supposed to be having, and if she’s the one who’s OMG starving because she remains too fucking stupid to bring a granola bar with her when she goes places, or whatever healthy alternative because granola bars have sugar and that’s bad even though she’ll eat like half a tin of brownies overnight. 

And then I fucking stab my foot on a sharp corner in my room and nobody so much as calls “You okay?” when I scream out in pain, but that’s to be expected. 

So then it’s time to unload the furniture, and you know god forbid SHE ever fucking help unloading furniture or anything. I say, having had to help store like 7 of HER boxes in OUR storage closet even though she doesn’t even live here and has never once offered any sort of repayment for the amount of space her stuff takes up in OUR apartments or storage lockers. 

Anyway I just go get my coat and shoes on and get the keys because, hey, I didn’t go to the store, sure I’ll help unload, although there’s been like a billion times where I’m the one who helped go grocery shopping and unloaded the car and put everything away by myself while literally nobody helped me. But, whatever. 

So we come back with the trolley/lorry/cart/whatever the fuck it is and I’m stuck in the hallway and can’t get past the boxes, and I also figure “well some of this is going in my room anyway, may as well just move it into my room” and oh boy what a mistake. I should just know by now not try to do anything because I always get treated like I’m a huge idiot for, like, moving furniture into my room that goes in my room, especially when I’m trapped. 

So mom does that thing moms do - you know, that sort of “ugh, I’ll just do it myself, you’re making this worse” kind of attitude? That. So you know, that’s always great. I’m just trying to be goddamn helpful, but I see it’s a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” scenario! And anyway while I’m attempting to help, I bash my toe into the big tire on the cart, and go “ow ow ow!” and yet AGAIN get one of those mom attitudes, like how dare I be in pain? She always seems so annoyed when I get hurt, even though she just reacts like she’s been shot in the head over dumb shit. And like 45 minutes later my toe still hurts. 

And then meanwhile the dogs are just carrying on a whine storm in their crate, and mom tells them to shush, and my sister’s all “No, that’s giving them attention, that’s what they want” and you know I guess it’s all well and good for someone who DOESN’T OWN A DOG and isn’t with these dogs 24/7 like I am to be full of advice, even though of course everyone ignored MY dog advice when I was spending hours looking up tips and shit earlier because what do I know? And I guess it’s all well and good to say “giving them attention is what they want!” when you aren’t hyper-sensitive to high-pitched sounds such as dog whining and since you don’t live with them 24/7 you don’t know that they literally will not stop for an hour even if you ignore them, and when you aren’t hyper-sensitive to high-pitched sounds I guess listening to a dog whining for an hour isn’t a big deal! 

And she has the absolute gall to ask why I’m always so awful to her. Like excuse me, I could write a fucking novel about all the times you’ve been awful to me. But yeah, gee, sorry I’m not at my absolute best when I’m having to listen to high-pitched whining that we’re just supposed to put up with (and that hopefully our neighbors can’t hear), and when I’ve had to sit through you absolutely bitching about pretty much every aspect of every show I’ve tried to watch not just since yesterday but since literally forever, including talking loudly through a show I was trying to watch and then everyone getting all bent out of shape that I left the room apparently not realizing that I left because I couldn’t fucking hear half the show even though I even pointed out I was trying to watch it?

And gee you think MAYBE I might also have a bit of a problem with you calling the dogs “fatso” and “tubby” when I’m the one who feeds them? You think MAYBE I might take that as a criticism? And how every fucking - EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME, NOT EVEN AN EXAGGERATION - you’re here you comment about “how much stuff” we have. Even if we never used any of this stuff, you know what, you don’t fucking live here. It’s none of your business. Also I redirect to the “we’ve been storing your shit in OUR apartment for 4 years, actually longer than that because almost all your stuff was still in our place in Savannah after you moved to Seattle, thanks for helping load all of it into the moving truck OH WAIT”.

You think maybe, JUST MAYBE, having all my interests belittled and my job raising my dogs insulted every single fucking time you’re here is wearing on me just a little? And the fact that you’ve belittled my interests since I was a little kid, and you’re for some reason continuing to belittle Little Kid Me’s interests NOW, and that you (nor anyone else!) ever shows any interest in me, shares a kind word or a piece of concern when I yell “OW!” from somewhere else, interacts with me at all with any tone other than apathy or disdain, might MAYBE be wearing on me JUST A LITTLE? 

And maybe the fact that every single time I’ve ever tried to actually gets words out expressing my feelings about this, I get dismissed as just flatout being wrong? But then mom gets angry when I don’t say what’s wrong? So I can either say nothing and people get angry, or I can say what’s on my mind and just get dismissed as wrong - my feelings are incorrect. It’s stupid to be upset when my mom introduces my sister as “the artist in the family” when I’m an artist too, or to get upset that SO MANY THINGS I’ve seen that I’ve said “Wow, this is cool!” became a gift for my sister - including a reindeer ornament even though I have a collection of reindeer and she doesn’t collect anything and is always talking about “getting rid of stuff”?? - or that she just sits there and snarks through stuff I’m trying to watch - when she’s a guest here.

Yeah. My feelings are incorrect and there’s no reason I should ever be in a bad mood. I’m the awful one. As I sit here with my toe that’s still throbbing after more than an hour, having been criticized, belittled, insulted, and ignored numerous times just in the last 28 hours, and constantly every other time. Hey you know when the last time I’ve criticized, belittled, insulted, and ignored either of you or something you like right to your face? Never. So, yeah. What a horrible person I am. How dare I. Now go back to talking about how awful I am in between talking about how much you know about my condition and shit while never applying any of your knowledge to me or even asking me about it. Just treat me like I’m so bratty teenage girl with no neurological impairment. That’s worked great so far, thanks. 

And I know nobody cares, I just wanted to vent. Sorry.

Maybe I’ll get lucky and I finally just won’t wake up tomorrow. I’m just really tired of this shit, and nobody listening to me, and all this... this shit. I’m so tired. 

[elizabethrobertajones]

Kinda fell off the grid with Crippling Arm Pain for a couple of days and watched Asylum, Scarecrow, Faith, Route 666 and the first half of Nightmare in a haze of "ow ow ow ow" and I don't have a whole lot to say about them and their individual moments that relates to season 12 that we haven't already said when anything relevant happened at the time IN season 12 while it was airing...

This whole section of season 1 though, makes a shift in Dean and Sam's dynamic which I think is where they drew most of the angst from for like, the rest of the show, and as usual I'm still obsessed with 12x22 and that very specific message of Sam leading and Dean stepping back and letting him do it. And very specifically where that came from and how as a reversal of season 1 in some ways back to the pilot, Sam gets walked back out of what he gets walked into over these episodes.

Sam perpetually comes back to the sort of "you have to let me grow up" thought like in season 5 & 8 ESPECIALLY off the top of my head before 12, although I think 3 was as well in response to knowing Dean would die, and tbh kicked off the entire arc from 3-5. So yeah, it's been a lot of Sam's lingering feeling about Dean and their dynamic and in 12x22 we see another gesture which I don't think (apart from the endless IMPLICIT trust of just working with Sam every friggin' NORMAL day of the week treating him like an equal when this ISN'T a plot thing) we've had aside from Swan Song, in terms of Big Symbolic Okay You Are An Adult Now Seriously How Are We Still Doing This Plot Oh Right Season 8 Needed Old Angst Warmed Up On All Fronts moments.

(Uh, sorry, I'll pick a fight with Carver about the laziness of season 8 character arcs on my own time because everyone else likes that season and generally it seems the show did well re: audience response to going back to basics and rehashing multiple seemingly resolved character arc things instead of going somewhere new :P Long post 99.9% not about that last thought AT ALL under the cut)

Anyway! In the first part of season 1, Sam is with Dean to find John. And he passes it off as a road trip to anyone who asks, and John is the thing keeping Sam from just meeting up with him and they charge off father & son guns blazing revenge mission - he's disappeared, and then sends them on another hunt when they catch up to where they lost him, also on a hunt he makes them take on his behalf.

For a few episodes Dean can fob Sam off about going to work cases while they look for John but he already kinda knows, then at the end of Phantom Traveller it's confirmed for them that John changed his answer phone to redirect to Dean, and the family business is now his. For Dean that's just like, welp, I'll shoulder THAT burden for my family too, no problem, already got a whole crushing weight there anyway hahaha. 

For Sam that makes it a lot more complicated, that John doesn't WANT to be found and he's now effectively trapped with Dean working the job while trying to convince him John is more important, and Dean is convinced John’s orders are more important.

Bloody Mary doesn't have any real resistance to doing the case, and Sam's preoccupied with visions & Jess's death still, so I think his head is still spinning about what he's actually doing and the case doesn't help settle him AT ALL. In Skin, he's the one who makes them backtrack for a personal thing which turns into a case, and he learns the crappy lesson that he can't have normal friends and essentially sees that Dean feels like a friendless freak even if he pretends this is all cool and part of the job, but rather more focus on Sam as the rebellious child being dragged back into the awful family and his own sense of sacrificing normality for the job & revenge from his perspective (looking ahead to how this bubbles over). Hook Man, he offers token protests to doing the case while we start with him obsessing over finding John, and in Bugs it starts with Sam checking for cases in the newspaper while Dean hustles - we know from Bloody Mary Sam has Dean's money and he really is freeloading as a road trip not just in what he keeps telling everyone, but that Dean is allowing him to stay at a careful remove from feeling like he's actually just doing the job again.

Bugs also has all the good family stuff where we finally have Sam and Dean rehash the trauma of Sam leaving, as of course this is all open wounds to them because Sam left and they don't see each other again until the Pilot, so this is a needed and much-delayed conversation directly addressing for the first time not just on screen but ever, between them about Sam going to college and how HE felt in the family, like the outcast who wanted to be normal, and he gloms onto Matt who is having similar issues with his dad that baffles Dean about why Sam relates to it so much. 

They're still going over early childhood > Sam leaving stuff in their dynamic and Sam really IS the kid brother on a road trip, and he is treated that way by the narrative in a lot of ways like this (also as in Sam sees this as a distraction and John and revenge is the real story/job/mission so hanging with Dean is as useful as road tripping :P I don’t think it’s just a cute excuse he uses over and over), probably up to Home, where it all starts getting more personal and real. 

Sam gets to see Mary with his own eyes for the first time, and they have a bit more of a sense of being in it together and Sam being inducted into the family mythos, revisiting stuff that was very very abstract to him, and for a multitude of intents - writerly from the show and from Chuck and his "narrative symmetry" and the motives from the demons who conspired to kill Jess, that needed to happen to Sam to make it more real to him (in the same way Dean felt all along about Mary dying because that pain didn't go away just because it had been a long time. The point is NOT what Sam says that Dean doesn’t know how it feels - it’s that SAM didn’t but it’s fresh and awful and despite growing up surrounded by grief, fancy learning coping mechanisms from John? Hence, follows in his footsteps, revenge-obsessed).

Anyway! Asylum changes their dynamic now - Sam is beginning to be openly frustrated even before John sends them a case that Dean's dragging him around on the job when they should be getting revenge, and I think he's now still sort of road tripping until the end of the season because of his speech in Shadow about being a person again, and the flip only being demonstrated in 2x02 that he now is the one more dedicated to hunting and doing the job. 

And during Asylum Sam vents to the psychiatrist under the guise of complaining about his road trip, presumably similar stuff but less murdery to what he yells at the end, and there's a whole thing with him being annoyed the kids think Dean is his boss. The fight continues in Scarecrow with Dean standing up for being a good soldier - I mean son - and Sam stomps off to find John. 2 episodes in a row he uses the road tripping excuse to vent about being stuck in close quarters with Dean bossing him around when he meets Meg and vents to her as well, but he has his realisation about family when Dean is in trouble and goes back.

After that he's immediately smacked with Faith, which is the first challenge one of them has of the other dying, and to which Sam has to save Dean at any close. His characterisation in this whole first chunk reminds me of season 10 Sam a great deal as I’ve recently rewatched it too (he has a "where's my brother!?" line in Skin which has like, the exact same delivery as 10x01's opening, among other little things which stood out to me) but this one episode in particular... Because he does save Dean, at a great cost, even having some very ominous-for-season 10 discussion about the evil black magic spell book and the desperation of Sue-Ann to bring Roy back, all of which made me laugh bitterly when I came through here on my post-season 10 rewatch, because it was pretty much word-for-word Sam's season 10 all in one episode, right down to the freakin pothole in Nebraska.

I think it's interesting Sam is the first one to make an ethically dubious/bad choice to save Dean (dubious since he didn't know it was bad, bad because he doubled down on it after - also looks much worse with at least 10 more years of canon rather than in the immediate moment it's just a bit edgy :P) while in season 2 Dean saves Sam selflessly and after a whole season of feeling brought back against the natural order (something I think is only exacerbating how he already felt since Faith and finding out what Sam did for him). 

I think this is a way to tie Sam deeply into the family and make him prove he'd go so far for Dean after all his rebellion and anger at Dean, with Dean represented as the boss and the good son/older brother, that Sam isn't actually going to really stomp off any time soon. He takes several strong lessons in a row about family and reconciliation, starting with the mirror family in Bugs and like, every episode after that except in Asylum because it abuts Scarecrow and is an ongoing emotional arc one starts and the other resolves, again proving to Sam he was wrong and being with Dean and doing the job is more important than revenge. (For now - he still has this choice all season and makes a false analysis for easy conclusion to the story by the writers that Dean's all he has left and he doesn't know where John is, even though they only just talked to John for the first time to get solid proof he's alive, AND Sam thought he knew where he was for the first time as well and only didn't go there because of going back to help Dean).

That all shifts Sam's dynamic from a fairly equal partnership, where Sam was kind of along for the ride, but without being strictly tied into the family business because he was road tripping, he was basically like... a support hunter Dean took with him to not work alone, just, you know, the best hunter Dean knew for the job :P And that changes after the midseason to really make Sam ductaped firmly back into the family business. But once he's there, Dean goes from equal partner to older brother who is ALSO his boss in Sam's eyes (even though Dean's really just desperately following John's orders, and is the one fighting in general for the family business to continue, in an a-political way about Sam's role in it, just that Sam sees him deciding things and feels like it is Dean ordering him around... They have issues about it, basically :P), and once Sam reconciles with THAT he does ethically sketchy stuff to save Dean and doesn't regret it, which is more of a blood pact thing to reaffirm commitment and loyalty.

In Route 666 Dean calls the shots, and Sam plays a trust game with the church thing so they both get in a power play of sorts and Sam teases Dean the entire time about Cassie...

(But this is all Buckleming characterisation, which I tend to find completely backwards, and thanks to watching with my mum, I went from 1x13 to 10x03, and remembered I still want to write a tooth-grinding post about their characterisation because something about it really sets my teeth on edge specifically about Sam and it just occurred to me watching 10x03 that that was how they wrote him in 1x13 and it was vaguely justified there because specific scenario but like... is that just their impression of who Sam is? Anyway in 10x03 there's lines he could have said seriously or whatever but there's like, a Buckleming Face Sam has/Jared uses and it makes me massively intrigued to know wtf tone suggestions they put in their scripts because almost without fail Sam only acts like this in their episodes and the grimace Jared uses delivering their Sam dialogue, even relatively inoffensive lines, is like at least a full 30% of why their episodes make my teeth grind because wtf he never does it in any other episodes with any other writers, it's like he has a separate personality to play Buckleming!Sam?? This is all massively beside the point except to say on realising that I decided that I just cba to analyse that one for personal arc stuff :P)

And in Nightmare, Sam's back to a sort of subordinate role in the power dynamic because he has to prove to Dean his visions are real (I think Dean totally believes him he just really really badly doesn't WANT them to be real but it means Sam spends the first 10 minutes needlessly arguing his case wanting to be believed) and then at the end Dean coddles him with a protective you've got me you'll be fine speech, which again puts himself in the role of protector to Sam.

I feel like from here on out their dynamic is hashed out a bit more firmly with all these specific things having happened in relation to all the main arcs - Sam's powers, the family business, John, Sam n Dean, saving each other from death, the whole lot, which as I said up the top, OBVIOUSLY day-to-day they still act very equally and usually, unless plot reasons, have 100% equal trust on cases and work side by side very well. But long-term, I can see a LOT of character stuff settling on Sam that becomes his pattern of thinking (e.g. the stuff in Asylum & Scarecrow especially betraying how he feels as the younger brother being bossed around) that in the first handful of episodes at least up to Home wasn't an issue or a part of their dynamic and they were going for a brothers on a roadtrip vibe without a lot of these Dire Obligations or Life And Death Pacts and so on.

I think Sam hasn't really been able to get out of this because season 5 was supposed to resolve it, but season 6 and 7 have something constantly wrong with him until Cas fixes him for good, so Dean spends a great deal of Gamble era having to deal with each new thing that happens to Sam, frequently acting with power of attorney to fix him and get his soul back etc for his own good. Sam has a blissful free space in his life from 7x17-7x23 and got to work equally and fairly and without any massive interpersonal drama or whatever with Dean (though for most of season 7 after they reconcile say from 7x09 onwards they have one of their best dynamics with the least interpersonal drama once they let go the Amy fight), and then Carver takes over and gives Sam 1 more year or so of recovery off-screen only to smash it all up with a sledgehammer and regress him all the way back to how bad he was in 8x23... Which we’ve been recovering from for all the characters ever since.

Anywho I said I wasn't going to get all obsessed about that, but the point is that watching season 1 and knowing where Sam is going to be coming from in season 12 about his own personal growth and how HE views it, I can see some interesting stuff because a lot of season 1 is Sam VOICING how he feels about their dynamic, job and lives, because it's the exposition season to get us involved in their lives and there's a lot of telling and explaining hot they feel about this that and the other. Knowing how Sam says he didn't want to lead and so on, his original issues with leadership was that he felt he had a mind of his own and Dean didn't and he didn't WANT to be bossed around by Dean, and to do his own thing. And season 1 subsumes him into the family business, and it leaves me thinking about the ever-relevant 10x05, and how the line about John in "The Road So Far" was that he took away their free will.

I sort of feel like watching season 1, you can see Sam giving ground over and over again in these fights. I know there's more to come, but the important flip next is in 1x16 where it stops being Sam swinging against Dean's position in the family, and goes back to Sam vs John, where it stays for the rest of the season and of course ending in 2x01 with John leaving them on a fight and 2x02 Sam having given himself over to the job and not really getting a break from then on to even dream of something normal until he hit a dog... 

So that's all totally different territory in season 1 because there wasn’t much/any Sam vs John stuff in season 12 that I can think of (idk if sharp-eyed Sam fans caught a narrative about it I didn’t see making its way onto my dash), so I think I've watched the parts now which exposition most clearly how Sam ends up essentially following Dean into the family business and in the main arc stuff seeing himself as still being the kid brother being bossed around and made to do it somewhat against his will to have a normal life even if as I say, in general unless this point is being made, Dean rarely if ever acts like this towards Sam and Sam seems to have all the freedom he likes to call the shots in their dynamic because Dean will totally trust him with all the normal parts of their job without being precious about taking his lil brother into fights...

Obviously there’s a hell of a lot more intervening trauma and I think Carver era does a LOT to Sam to beat him down from a relatively balanced, happy-with-himself-and-the-universe place so to actually trace WHY Sam felt like he did in 12x22 you’d start at 8x01 and begin counting THERE, but looking at season 12 through a season 1 lens is really interesting to me.

[writteninkat]

xi - happy pill

word count - 3,107

"she thinks it's special, but it's all reused"

index

You stir awake, feeling your body aching all over as you moved to turn to your right. Your eyes flutter open, squinting as the clinic’s bright lights blinds you. “Take it easy now, little girl.” You hear an old woman’s voice and you recognize it immediately as Recovery Girl’s.

She sighs, “You kids have to take better care of your bodies from now on. How are you guys supposed to become great heroes when you have such fragile bones?” She shakes her head, earning a soft sorry from you before she walks away.

Your attention is caught by Katsuki’s loud voice booming from the TV. You look up, watching as the blond angrily shouts at Todoroki who’s currently passed out on his own ice.

“Hey! You- stop messing around! This isn’t a real win for me unless you try harder! It can’t end this way, now get up-!” Pink smoke covers the air around Katsuki before he passes out.

“Todoroki is out of bounds that means, Bakugou is the winner!” Midnight announces, her hand raised into the air. You quickly turn your body to the side, hopping off of the bed. You quietly exit the clinic, wanting to walk back to where your classmates were seated.

“That was a foolish move.” A deep voice says behind you, your blood boiling in anger almost immediately after hearing it. “What was foolish were the experiments you conducted on me that allowed me to do that move.” You grit your teeth, clenching your hands into fists.

“Y/n-“

“How many times do I have to repeat it to you?” You turn around, deploying your claymore, pressing the blade against your father’s neck. You narrow your eyes, hating how he doesn’t flinch at your movements. “I hate you and everything that has to do with you. Stay away from me.”

“I want to correct my wrongs.” His words cause your eyes to widen, “I want to apologize. Properly. To both you and your mother. I want us to become a family again.”

You drop your sword, hanging your head low. “First of all, don’t you dare go near my mother. Second, we don’t want your apology. And third, we were never a family to begin with.” You lift your head up high, showing him the heavy tears streaming down your face. “If you really want to do something for us, then stay away.”

Was this the second? Third time you walked away from your father? Whatever it is, you hope you never need to do this again. You turn a right, sloppily wiping your tears away in hopes of looking alright when you reach your classmates.

Something hard bumps into your shoulder making you furrow your brows. You look up, feeling your heart drop to your stomach. Shinsou looks at you with wide eyes; he’s mostly surprised to see you crying.

“Are you alright-“

“Shut the fuck up.” You grit, walking past him. He turns around, hand instinctively reaching over to grab onto your shoulder. He pulls you back and you turn around, looking at him with an irritated face. His expression is laced with concern- genuine concern and it makes you /not/ want to hate the guy.

“It’s unhealthy to bottle up your feelings.” He furrows his brows, his words making you chuckle. “Then I guess I’ve been unhealthy my whole life?” Your joke and sarcastic smile gives him hope that you were going to open up to him, but the moment the corners of your lips tug down, he comes to a conclusion that he was just deluding himself.

“Mind your own business, Eeyore. Why don’t you go get some sleep rather than sticking your nose in other people’s business.” You pull your shoulder roughly from his grasp, marching away from his dumbfounded stance.

You place your hand on the spine of the seat beside Kirishima, taking his attention. “Oh, Y/n! You feeling alright?” He beams brightly at you to which you smile back. “Yeah, Recovery Girl’s quirk really is something. Anyways, what’s going on?”

“You made it just in time. They’re now awarding the winners.” Denki cuts in, causing you to look inside the stadium. There stands Tokoyami in third place, Todoroki is second place and a chained down Katsuki with a muzzle on his mouth on the first place platform. You furrow your brows, “Did they need to tie him up like that?”

“They said he was being too rough and wouldn’t accept his win.” Kirishima quickly answers your question to which you scoff at, “Katsuki’s a sixteen year old student, not a villain.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, crossing your legs as well as you watched the awarding ceremony with furrowed brows.

The sports festival just ended and you quickly make your way to confront the angry Katsuki whose chains are quickly being taken off of him. “Would you look here. It’s UA’s angry chihuahua.” You joke, smirking as you lean on the wall with your legs and arm crossed.

Katsuki glares at you, his eyes not hiding how angry he is. No matter how he felt, he walks towards you with his hands in his pockets. “Do you like passing out after using the full potential of your quirk or are you just weak?” He asks.

“That wasn’t the full potential of my quirk.” You smile, watching as the features in his face slowly change, his expression going from irritated to surprised.

“But anyway, you wanna to vent that anger out before you go home or something? So you don’t accidentally pop off at your mom?” You walk beside him, keeping your hands behind your back as you lean in to get a look at his face.

“Hah? Since when did you start caring about that hag?”

You laugh, wrapping your hand around his waist, tugging at it. “Oi- where are you taking me?” He asks, stumbling a bit.

“My mom’s friend owns this paintball war place somewhere here near the school. If I try, I can pull some strings.” You grin mischievously, taking out your phone to search for the paintball place’s location.

When you get there, you squeal excitedly as you run towards the building, Katsuki shouting after you. You talk to the owner who greets your with a gleeful tone, pulling you into a hug. “Gosh! You’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you in LA!” She cheers, making you giggle.

She looks behind you, raising her eyebrows in question. her eyes dart behind you then back at you a couple of times before she’s smiling mischievously, pulling her head back in an attempt to tease you. “Your mother never mentioned her little Y/n having her boyfriend now.”

Your eyes widen, eyebrows raising. “You still talk with my mom? Well, considering how busy she usually is, I didn’t think that would be the case.”

The two of you chat for a bit as Katsuki dozes off into his own world, clenching his hands as he tried his best not to flush cat how you didn’t deny him to be your boyfriend.

“C’mon, Suki. Miwa-san says we don’t have to pay.” You tug on his wrist, pulling him to the co-ed locker room. You put on your protective gear and make your way to the room where you take your guns and paintballs. There are eight other players inside the war zone with you two and you quickly go to your positions, taking note of the whereabouts of your teammates and enemies as you wait for the siren to go off.

“You better not hold back out there, idiot.” Katsuki says, cocking his gun as a faint smirk appears on his lips. The action causes your face to flush and your heartbeat to quicken. The siren causes you to jump and almost immediately, you hear shooting and firing noises.

You jump from your kneeling position, quickly running behind protective barriers as you point your gun forward, looking for the enemy. As soon as you see a person with a blue headband, you shoot at them, a quick yes slipping from your lips as two of your bullets hit the back of one of your opponents.

You stand up, bending over as you quickly move to another spot. The sound of bullets firing from behind you causes you to gasp, turning around before being pushed to the ground. The blue paintballs hit the barrier instead, making you look up. “The hell are you doing, not paying attention?!” Katsuki yells, shooting at the enemy.

“C’mon, three more enemies left.” He helps you up, pulling at your arm. His fast reflexes causes him to jump and roll on the ground as the bullets miss him. You follow his direction, pointing your gun towards an opponent, shooting a few times. You click your tongue as you miss the opponent, dropping to the ground to reload your gun.

“I got you covered.” Katsuki grunts, pointing and shooting his gun to your right, narrowed eyes scanning for the opponents. Just as you finish reloading your gun, you feel a tingling sensation run up your spine as your body moves on its own, twisting to the left. You barely hook your arm around Katsuki’s torso, pulling him to the ground as the bullets almost hit his arm.

You shoot once, hearing your opponent yell ‘ow’! Before falling down. You laugh, “Come on! Two more opponents left!” You push yourself up a few wooden boxes, jumping over each of them quietly before smiling to yourself. The sight of two backs turned towards you with blue headbands wrapped around their heads has your heart rate increasing.

Is this how mom’s bodyguards feel when they’re out tasked for an assassination? This feels amazing. you thought, pointing your gun at one of them. They don’t even know they’re about to get shot at. you chuckle to yourself before pulling the trigger twice, red paint splatting on their backs.

The two turn around in surprise, looking at you with wide eyes. “That was amazing!” One cheers, “We didn’t even notice you!” The other one laughs before you hear a voice speak through the speakers, telling you all that the game just ended.

You all exit the war zone, dropping your guns and safety equipment in different boxes before heading over to the snack area. As you wait for Katsuki to finish getting your prizes, you walk over to the vending machine, flinching at the pain that shot out of your right ankle. Ah, it must have been when Suki pushed me from the bullets You think, biting on your lip to try and suppress the pain.

The vending machine takes your money and as you push the combination in, a hand presses against the space beside the keypad. You furrow your brows, turning around to see three towering boys looking down at you with smug faces.

“You moved pretty well back there. Wanna go out for soda or something?” The one in the middle speaks, his voice irritating the fuck out of you as you ignore him, rolling your eyes and turning around.

“Hey, don’t you give us that attitude.” He clicks his tongue, spinning you around. The sudden action causes your ankle to throb once more, making you whine out in pain.

The three laugh at the sound, “She’s weak after all. I thought the performance you showed a while ago was the real thing, but turns out you’re just good at aim.” He mock, their laughter ticking you off.

“She’s not only good with aiming bullets, but she’s also good at aiming her punches.” Relief washes over you at the sound of Katsuki’s voice filling the room. The three turn around and you can see just how they freeze up at the sight of the first year student who just placed first place in the sports festival.

“And if you’re smart enough, you’ll learn to remember her face properly.” Katsuki says, looking adorable with the big teddy bear in hand. The three boys look back at you, confusion gracing their faces before complete horror.

Ah, now they recognize me?

They quickly back away, multiple sorry’s spilling from their mouths before they rush out the room. Katsuki clicks his tongue, shoving the teddy bear at you. “Here’s your stupid prize. Now come on, I gotta get home before that old hag starts blowing my phone.” He says lazily, turning around as he begins to walk away.

When he doesn’t feel you following him, he looks at you again with a raised brow. You have your head hanging low in shame as you play with your fingers, “I um- my foot. It…”

“It what? Spit it out dumbass.”

“I think I twisted it when you… err, when you pushed me.”

Katsuki is quiet for a moment before you see his back in front of you, his body crouched down. “Get on.”

“But-“

“Shut up and let me take responsibility for your ankle. Get on, I’ll take you to my house.”

Without another word, you lean onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you let his hands hook under your thighs. He stands up rather easily, your arms tightening around him, not wanting to fall.

“You’re choking me- dumbass! Loosen your hold a little!” He yells, “I’m sorry if I don’t want to fall to my butt okay?” You huff, still loosening your arms from around his neck.

As Katsuki carries you out of the paintball place, Mrs. Miwa goes unnoticed as she snaps a few photos of you two, sending it quickly to your mom.

Katsuki’s house his big, and the exterior itself tells you that his family is quite well-off. What job does his parents have? You move to get down, but Katsuki’s grip under your thighs only tighten. “I’m home, open the door!” He yells, earning a soft smack on the head from you.

“Would it hurt you so much to say please? At least to your parents?” You huff to which he ignores. The door opens, revealing a blonde woman with the same red eyes, blonde hair and hairstyle as Katsuki’s.

“This is Y/n, she hurt her ankle because of me. Now move-“ you squeeze on Katsuki’s shoulder, making him click his tongue, glaring at you before moving his glare to his mother. “excuse me.” He grits, his mother quietly stepping to the side to let the both of you in.

The interior is definitely much home-y than the outside. Katsuki sets you on the couch, catching you off guard with how soft he was at putting you down. “Wait here and don’t move.” He mutters before stepping into a different room, presumably to get the medkit.

As you sit quietly on the sofa, you notice two gazes on you, making you look up and catch them. “Erm- good evening-“ You stand up, only to let out a sound of pain. “I told you not to move, dumbass!” Katsuki shouts from the other room.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Sit down, we don’t want your ankle getting worse.” Katsuki’s mother says softly, sitting down on the couch to your right as the older man, presumably Katsuki’s father sits on the arm top beside her.

“So how long have you two been together?” The question causes you to freeze up. Your eyes widen and you blink a few times, “I’m sorry- what do you mean, together?” You ask.

“Why, together as in relationship of course! I can only guess that since if you were a friend, Katsuki wouldn’t let you talk him into having a better attitude.”

You stay quiet for a moment, pressing you tongue against the inside of your cheek as you thought of the correct way to answer her. Before you do, however, Katsuki enters the room. He motions for his parents to leave and they do as told, his mother sending you a warm smile before heading over to where the kitchen is.

“Your parents are… straightforward.” You nod your head, watching him as he bends down and takes your foot. He rolls your pants up to your knee, studying your red and swollen ankle.

His silence is eating you up.

“Is there something wrong?”

Your question causes him to look up at you, his brows are furrowed but he isn’t mad. More like concerned. “That’s the second time today.”

You raise your brows at him in question. “What do you mean?”

“Why didn’t you turn down the idea that we were dating? You did that too, with the owner of the paintball place. Miwe or whatever that hag’s name was.”

Your silence pushes him to continue aiding your injured leg. “We’ve only known each other for what- a month at most, maybe? Katsuki I-“ you sigh, “I like you.” He looks up at you with wide eyes. “You barely know me.” His words cause you to rise from your seat, “Exactly! I barely know you!” You whisper-yell, wanting to stress to him just how upset and conflicted you are.

“We’ve known each other for like maybe month? But why do I feel like spending my entire life with you?” You whine, placing your hands on your head, your breathing ragged.

“You make me forget about my anger, or sadness, or whatever negative emotion I’m feeling. A human happy pill? Maybe to me, you are that. I trust you so much that it scares me. It scares the fuck out of me how I almost took a shot for you back there.” You motioned to which direction you think the paintball place was located.

“What on Earth are you doing to me, Suki? You gotta tell me what exactly you want or we’ll just continue going around in circles.” You feel tears stinging your eyes as you bite on your lip. You didn’t want to cry, you really didn’t. Not in front of this boy.

You wait for a moment, your heart breaking every second at the silence he’s returning to you. When you feel like it was enough, you nod your head, digging your teeth on your lips as you walked past him.

You step out of his house, feeling your heart ache at the though that he come after you. Even as thunder rolled in or as rain began to soak your UA tracksuit. You look up at the pouring rain, your tears going unseen as you sob.

“Is this what I get for cursing my father?” You ask, letting your legs slowly take you to your apartment. The only thing worse than going home alone soaked in the rain is opening your door to yet another empty place.

It’s okay though, you thought to yourself as you stepped into the shower, not something I’m not used to.

tagging: @maggiecc