#anyway yeah i was actually delusional and insane so word

[kisakunt]

this is gonna shock everyone including me but reading posts and dms on here from when i was manic as fuck and i may have been in the wrong about some things 😭

[qrrieterisunnq]

Could you make like an insta edit thingie where Nico has a secret girlfriend and there’s been some suspiciousness from fans why he keeps smiling so much during interviews looking at something that can’t be seen by the camera. So it would be like a shirt vid on the devils page from like his post game interview and then the comment section trying to figure things out and then Jack dropping a bit of a bomb just for fun that doesn’t actually reveal anything but just that there’s someone

Thank you for requesting, anon! I had so much fun writing this! Hope you’ll like it. 🫶🏽❤️

Someone is there - Nico Hischier

nico!hischier x fem!reader Summary: Where Nico has a secret girlfriend. The fans are suspicious about him dating someone because, at his every post-raw, he's smiling at someone behind the cameras. Jack then comments on it, revealing something bout the girl. request: yes/no gif not mine likes are good, reblogs are better <3 word count: 0,5K warning(s): instagram post, cute Nico

masterlist | wip's

njdevils

liked by nicohischier, jackhughes, jesperbratt, and others

njdevils Intermission interview with Captain!

(tagged nicohischier)

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user68_ his smile is so gorgeous!! 🥰

user009 where is he looking?? Who's standing there?

user52 I swear he's getting more sexy every fucking minute!

╰➤ user4_289 @/user52 Every second!! The Swiss man is hotter than lava!

nico_hischieer I mean, look at them, they'd look great together.

╰➤ user5587 @/nico_hischier like yeah, they both look cute, but you see how he's looking behind the cameras?

╰➤ nico_hischieer @/user5587 Yeah, the smile he has as soon as he looks behind them! Think there's someone?🤨

user13 You see that? The smile he has when he looks behind the cameras? Sure there's someone, who makes him smile like this!

╰➤ us_888_er @/user13 don't even say it! HE HAS TO BE SINGLE!! 😫

user88 omg!! He's dating someone! The smile!! He's so in love!!🥰🥹

╰➤ user5 @/user88 no, he's not! He smiled because someone bumped their head into the light! If he was with someone, he'd post at least a story with them!

╰➤ user88 @/user5 No he wouldn't! What if she ain't comfortable with the attention?

╰➤ user5 @/user88 Oh I haven't thought abt it! 🫢

nico_13_hischier who is he looking at?

liked by user71

nj_fan_devils Wait! Listen! He's playing better past the four months! He's always looking up in the family section with a smile every time he shoots a goal!

╰➤ jacks_whore86 @/nh_fan_devils Oh! You're totally right! I thought that I imagined it! But Yeah! He looks happiest!🫶🏽🥰

╰➤ nhl_fan_devils @/jack_whore88 Whoever the girl is, I swear if she breaks his heart, I'll find her and... But I want to thank her for making him happy and loved!🫶🏽🩷

hischier13 you guys are delusional! It's clear he's not dating anyone! He said it million times that he wants to focus on his career!

jackhughes looking handsome!! 😫🥵 Sorry dove! But I might steal him from you! Wanna enjoy this night with him!😏

╰➤ amara_james @/jackhughes wanna sleep on a couch, loverboy? 🤔🤨 Anyway you played amazing Nico! And the goal was insane!@

liked by lhughes_06, dawson1417, nicohischier

╰➤ nicohischier @/jackhughes someone's in trouble, should keep your mouth shut!🤣 anyway I wouldn't come with ya! @/amara_james thank you Ara!! ❤️🫶🏽

╰➤ jackhughes @/amara_james no baby, I’ll be sleeping with ya!😏 @/nicohischier and you shut your mouth loverboy! You’re pussywhipped! I thought you find me enough attractive to spend a night with me, yk? But I get it, you have miss of Switzerland at home so

liked by yourusername

user66 what is going on!! why did Jack apologize??🤨❗️

╰➤ user_91 @/user66 better questing who he apologize to 🤔🤔 is Nico really dating someone?!

╰➤ user023 @/user_91 probably to Amara! It looks like he's apologizing to her for the next sentence! 😶

╰➤ user_77_6 @/user 023 @/user91 nah jack calls amara berry or strawberry he wasn't apologizing to her

dawson1417 looking divine Cap!

liked by nicohischier, lhughes_06, amara_james and others

us679 what the hell is Jack talking about?? What miss of Switzerland?? Is Nico dating a model?!

user1 @/us679 nah I think he was just making fun of his nationality

us679 @/user1 or maybe he's really dating a Miss of Switzerland

[bubblegyu00]

zb1 as boyfriends 💋

a/n: thought i'd do one for jebe too 😋 YURA YURA BABY BABY also this is very rushed....

not proofread !

———————・✦

• jiwoong

boyfriend jiwoong is so " yes love? honey. sweetheart. princess " he's so perfect wtf

this man would be randomly talking and say " i would die for you " and mean that shit from the bottom of his heart

i feel like he's very manly and mature but he can not drink an ounce of alcohol or he's wasted. but when he's drunk he's genuinely the cutest thing ever. will cling onto you and giggle like a little kid but you can't even be mad at him because you love him sm

SUCH a gentleman. i don't even need to elaborate on this.

he's so husband material like i would drop my whole life for him to put a ring on my finger

loves loves loves to spoil you on holidays

" i bought you a present! "

" it's the 4th of july jiwoong... and you're korean. "

———————・✦

• hanbin

please do not even get me started with this man.

boyfriend!hanbin will literally revolve his whole world around you. if you think he adores that hamster plushie... take that times 1000 and that's his adoration for you

if he could take you on his tours he would. it literally tears him apart that he can't see you for that long of a period of time.

whenever he can't see you starts to literally hear your voice. he'll call you to get a flight to wherever he's at because he thinks he's delusional and needs to see you before he goes insane

will be your number one supporter at award shows, but when the camera pans to him he acts like he wasn't just screaming your fanchant

will do all of your chores for you even if you don't ask him to

" what're you doing? "

" sweeping "

" hanbin did you not just see me sweep the whole house? "

" well yeah but like- "

———————・✦

• zhanghao

boyfriend!zhanghao is so RGRBRBRHRHRGRGRH

if anyone of your fans goes to a " your biggest fan " contest, they're all losing because zhanghao is winning immediately

honestly was your biggest fan before you two started dating. he made the biggest foul out of himself when he saw you

like the guy started stuttering, turning red, and sweating profusely. you thought it was cute so you just started teasing him more

he's still a little intimidated by you, but he doesn't stutter, turn red, or sweat profusely. ( unless you start making out, cus then he basically has a stroke )

zhanghao is definitely the second best kisser. idk why it's just something about him.... like his lips also just look so soft ( does it show that i dream about him all the time? )

the amount of stuff he knew about you before you started dating is basically stalker level but it's okay cus you're obsessed too.

you two are the most judgmental people i've ever seen oml. like someone will pass by and you'll look at eachother and give them the most vile look ever made. like if i slipped up in front of you two id probably cry

" ew wtf look it's her "

" omg wasn't she the friend that dumped that one guy for no reason "

" yup "

" gross "

———————・✦

• matthew

boyfriend!matthew is so cute he makes me want to do a backflip into a pool of lava ( nichole wtf )

but anyways he's actually so perfect and sweet and perfect and also sweet with some perfect mixed in

wants to be in your arms 24/7, it literally kills him when he has to leave every morning for work. like he genuinely starts tweaking out

every time he goes to canada to visit his family, he takes you too because his mom and sister ADORE you sm. like whenever you're over his mom cooks a whole feast and will talk your ear off, but it's okay cus you love her

will be texting you with the stupidest smile on his face, it makes the members wanna gag. but he dosent notice cus he's to busy typing words to describe how much he misses you

the boys WILL NOT under any circumstances get too close to you or matthew will talk their ears off

" did you just touch her? "

" i passed her the remote?! "

" you know what gunwook i'm so sick and tired of- "

and then he rants for two hours.

———————・✦

• taerae

boyfriend!taerae is soooo bestie boo, like he is literally your hype man

i also think that taerae is basically a mindreader... like you could be craving something and two seconds later there's taerae at the door with whatever it is you wanted. or if you wanted to call him, he'd call you right before you even turn on your phone to call him

quite literally spams your company's emails to let you do a dance challenge tiktok together. and when i say spam, i mean this man genuinely sent them 5000 slideshows as to why you should do the challenge together

absolutely can not go two sentences without bringing you up. the members could literally be talking about plants and he would make it have to do something with you

sometimes he'll wake up and wonder how in the world he pulled you. like he genuinely thinks he is the chosen one because he thinks your so 😍

he loves when you compliment his singing sm. he literally wants to cry every time you tell him how beautiful his voice is, because he only needs your validation, not anyone else's

he's so obsessed with your scent. like he buys your perfume in bulk, and sprays it on his sheets and pillows

" just bought a hundred bottles of your perfume. "

" yeah and now they're all sold out rae "

" that sucks cus im not sharing. "

———————・✦

• ricky

boyfriend!ricky is claimed by me. no like i genuinely have him moved into my house and everything

he's the #1 kisser. like his make out game is STRONG omfg. he's literally just a natural wtf. like he doesn't even have a lot of experience, he's just so good at kissing it's wild

this man would probably try to buy you the world if you said you wanted it. but the thing about quanrui is that you could ask him for boba or something, and he'd buy you the whole franchise

whenever you're apart, he'll call you when you're about to go to sleep, and he won't even turn off the lights until he hears your soft snores

unpopular opinion—i believe that ricky is honestly really shy when it comes to you. like if you tell him that you love him, he'll get shy and clingy and while hide in the crook of your neck

his favorite thing in the world is when your laying in between his legs with your head on his chest. he'll play with your hair until you fall asleep

that's another thing about ricky; he feels guilty when he falls asleep first, because he hates the fact that you're lying awake basically alone

he's so delusional, he literally will lie in bed and plan out your wedding

" oh and your ring is gonna be soooo pretty baby "

" oh yeah? "

———————・✦

• gyuvin

boyfriend!gyuvin oh god.... yes those are tears you see in my eyes 😰

gyuvin likes to mess around and tease his members, but when it comes to you he's the sweetest, softest thing you've ever met

he gets sososo shy when you compliment his on his appearance at all. no like he genuinely covers his face and gets all smiley

the members always make fun of him because whenever you're around, he turns into this giant clingy simp

he honestly is really good about communication. like he absolutely will not let you go to sleep angry

do not break up with him. if you break up with him i'm pretty sure he'd go genuinely insane. he'd also be one of those stalker exes.....

you haven't seen clingly until you've met kim gyuvin. he literally wants to be physically attached to you at all times

" no come back! "

" gyu we've been cuddling for like six hours straight?!"

———————・✦

• gunwook

oh how i love boyfriend!gunwook....

gunwook is lowkey SUCH a gentleman. like if you two were on a date outside and it was sunny, he'd put a hand over your head to keep your eyes from hurting. or if your shoes were untied, he'd tie them without even thinking.

has you as his lockscreen and smiles every time he checks the time, or opens his phone ( it's a picture of you sleeping )

he buys you soooo many stuffed animals, but they're all teddy bears, and they're all named gunwook #1-#203. yeah... he really loves buying you plushies..

loves going to the arcade with you, cus he think you're so adorable when you're competitive/focused

you genuinely make him soooo happy and he smiles every time he looks at you. he could literally be having the worst day he's ever had, but the minute you walk in he has the biggest smile on his face

please compliment him or he'll cry. like your validation is a top priority, just like taerae. so if he's been working on his choreo extra and you notice, he's literally skipping around like a child

he definitely falls for your traps all the time

" do you think i look good today?? "

" yes of course baby "

" good not great? do you not even love me any more?! "

" WHAT?! "

———————・✦

• yujin

boyfriend!yujin is soooo confusing.

i say this because you minute he's bullying you, and the next he's cuddled up with you on the couch watching a movie

i think that he loves and adores you so much it confuses him sometimes since you two a young, and he dosent know what to do with himself

he's not the best at expressing his feeling and you have to understand that. he sometimes feels really bad when he treats you cold, but he doesn't want to admit it

but when he's in a good mood, he treats you so well. like he honestly treats you like you're royal

he sometimes has to ask his hyungs for advice because he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend. but he really tries that's all that matters

but yet again, when he's in a good mood he's clingy and smiley and won't let you out of his grasp for more than two minutes

" where are you going? :( "

" yujin i have to go pee "

" do you REALLY have to pee? "

" uhm.... yes "

" are you sure? "

" yujin- "

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

First of all, I just want to say. I called it lol

Finally an sskk face off since the sacrifice. I am going insane. I can’t articulate all my thoughts rn but something about the way Atsushi aimed a kick at Akutagawa that he fully expected the guy to block (because they know each other’s usual fighting styles!!!) only for it to connect and hurt him; Atsushi begging Akutagawa to recognize him because even if he still can’t consciously admit it, Atsushi has become convinced that Akutagawa wouldn’t be attacking him like this if he knew it was him; pleading for him to snap out of it and demanding to know why he saved him aghhhhh I’m going feral we know the reason Atsushi we know whyyyyy

I can’t believe it actually. We are at the point where sskk do not want to genuinely hurt each other. Atsushi attacked only out of self defence and was taken aback by actually breaking his wrist. Akutagawa refused to kill Atsushi in the Fukuchi fight and Atsushi is now convinced he’d stop attacking if he recognized him. Holy shit. Oh my god.

And Sigma badass moment! My boy, he pulled through! Either him or Chuuya had to break the stalemate; hell yeah, validation. Wasn’t there a meme someone made? “Prison arc -> prison arc if Sigma still had a gun”? Well Sigma’s got a gun and things are picking up babyyyy! His retort to Fyodor was quite possibly the funniest thing he could’ve said in response. Just completely shut him down. Using what he’s learned running the empty home Fyodor previously tried to buy his trust with. Beautiful. ADA Sigma real??? (I think the story will have to acknowledge his very public involvement with Taneda’s shooting and the acts of terrorism the Hunting Dogs now know he is responsible for… so I’m not sure how that will go but I’d like to see him end up with the Agency tbh… so long as it makes sense.)

Things I did not expect:

Mysterious note left in Russian??? It could be Mykola I suppose but… why? What happened? If he’s actually in trouble I doubt he’d need help escaping. Is it a trap? But what for? Alternatively… could it be Pushkin? He was in Meursault initially right? We never found out what his connection was. It could be a new Russian author too! Intriguing! There’s also the matter of it being written in Russian in the first place - who is it meant for? Sigma specifically? Or is it meant for someone else who speaks Russian?

Dazai is actually injured! I was certain he had something ready to get out on his own but I like this much better. Tbh I know this sounds bad but I’m actually way more invested now that Dazai has a broken leg and Fyodor was just shot. There’s higher stakes, you know? Damn though. I think Dazai’s injuries are. Worse. He’s being terribly self-sacrificial, and is apparently going to face off against Chuuya next time we see him. I do think now the stakes would be too low if Chuuya was completely free of the brainwashing tbh… I’m hoping for a double “I know you’re in there” fight between skk and sskk. Not that Dazai can do much physically but his strength has always been with words anyways, and I am certain Chuuya’s already fighting back. And I know Atsushi will reach Akutagawa. Manifesting sskk reunion where they challenge Fukuchi again and win this time via the power of unbreakable trust (delusional).

Sigma asks Fyodor “WHAT are you?” Which is interesting, and I’m hoping will acknowledge the way Fyodor doesn’t seem to age… but also intriguing is the “getting closer” part on the side which implies he’s not quite right. I think Fyodor will still turn out to be human tbh (it’d be weird otherwise, thematically), but now I’m starting to lend a little more weight to that theory about a Fyodor double…

Well anyways. This was a lot. I’m going to helplessly whir about it for a bit now.

[sourbinnie]

title -> cenere pair -> ex!wonwoo x gn!reader plot -> the ashes that he once believed would be an eternal flame, are still there as he tries to remember a time where it didn't hurt to look at you. genre -> angst + no happy ending warnings -> reader is kinda bad in this one + drinking + cheating words -> 1665 lowercase intended

puoi cancellare il mio nome

farmi sparire nel fumo

come un pugnale nel cuore

come se fossi nessuno

cenere / lazza

it almost felt like a dagger to the heart the way you were smiling right now as if nothing ever happened between us. seeing you dance in the dark with another guy, moving your hips to the beat, swaying from side to side and losing yourself in the moment. you didn't even notice me standing there. why would you notice me anyways? you didn't pay attention to me in our whole relationship, why would you care right now? it's almost as if i've been a shadow on your life, placing the darkness in your light.

i had no idea what i was doing at this point, how could someone so cruel bring so much out of me? i was delusional, convinced that the good old days would come back. i had you for a moment and you disappeared in the wind like a candle being slowly turned off with a breeze. maybe it was for the best that i lost you, you didn't care about me, you never did. your eyes always told the truth as i tried to read your mind but it was no use. seeing you again was a daydream and a nightmare, for once you were always beautiful, stunning actually. you've never lacked the looks and the brightest of smiles. then the fear approached, the one where i had to see you again and remember every night where i got my heart broken in a different way. i don't want to specify since i don't think it's worth the time of anyone and all my friends already know.

"yeah i don't know what they're doing here either." a voice startled me but at least it pulled me out of my thoughts. it was none other than seungcheol, my good friend, known him since i was 5. "i thought i told mingyu the situation clearly but it looks like he forgot and invited them anyways," he continued and i just nodded but still didn't look away from the pair of arms holding them. it was such a bittersweet feeling seeing your old lover who left you to pick up the pieces in such a romantic way with someone, it almost made me nauseous if i wasn't so proud.

"it's okay, they're allowed to invite whoever they want to at the end of the day." i said and fake smiled, but i knew that it didn't come through and i did not care enough either. "i'm in a debate of whether to go home or get drunk as fuck so i can forget everything & anything right now," i said as pure and honest as i could be.

and that's when it started, the shots, the mixed up drinks, the unknown flavors coming my way. so stupid that i didn't just go home, now i was unstoppable ranting about them. "yeah they left me" "i clearly moved on" "why am i talking about them? well i saw them and thought about this so yeah" "oh shit is that their new man? he's ugly as fuck". i would never say this shit out loud if it wasn't for the liquid courage running through me and the nerve that stroke in me just seeing them wrapped up like they belonged together, like a few months ago we weren't meant for each other.

"okay let's stop with the drinking for a moment 'cause you're going insane right now," jihoon said as he took the bottle from me and i just sighed. yeah he was 100% right and i couldn't deny it to him. he was probably the most rational friend i had between all of these fucking dumbasses but i still felt the crave to do something about these awful feelings invading me.

"i'm gonna talk to them." i said and i swear i felt everyone looking at me, maybe i did really go insane after all. 

"why? it's been months and they've moved on." jeonghan tried to reason with me and as much as i knew he was in the right, every impulse in my body was telling me to get up and go. do a scene in the middle of the party maybe? to shame them? to put them on blast? okay maybe not so much. but i was still gonna talk to them, some way and somehow.

"i just wanna see how they're doing." i said and it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either. "listen i know it's fucking stupid but why would they come to my best friend's party expecting not to see me hm?" i asked and raised an eyebrow waiting for an answer while i was met with pure silence. "also i am done with everyone trying to look out for me, i am okay i think? or i'm trying to be".

i said those words and left to catch my breath outside. the cold air hitting me immediately but i still felt better than being trapped right there with everyone judging me for every decision i make like it was my fault that i ended up in the place that i was. 

"wonwoo?" their voice was so sweet and i knew the concern was purely fake but oh god did i miss everything. i was waiting for another stab in the heart, wasn't i? for them to erase me like i was nothing again.

"(y/n) hi." i responded and my fake smile met their real smile. "long time no see huh?" i said like i haven't been counting the months, the days, the hours like a lunatic. 

"yeah it's been a couple of months right? i still have to send your stuff i'm sorry." they apologized but i didn't even remember they were holding onto some of my stuff in their apartment. i was weak to the knees for them and i was really hoping that we wouldn't talk about the break up but what else was i looking for then if not an answer? what did i want from them? closure? hell no. 

"i don't really care, you can keep it." i mumbled as i tried to compose myself from all the sudden thoughts i was having about us or what used to be us or what i would've wanted to be us. "how you been?" i asked genuinely and looked them in the eyes for the first time since i got out.

"could've been better but overall trying to hold on you know?" they said, smiling politely, i just nodded as i whispered "same" and saw how they got closer to me. their eyes never leaving me, it almost felt like i had something on my face the way they were staring. "i hope things get better for you, not gonna lie to you though it's been going down since we broke up..."

i did not expect that in any way, shape or form. i just looked confused, perplexed, waiting for an answer but i knew i had to ask first before i got that.

"how so? you left remember?" maybe not that kind of question, as harsh as i sounded i knew i had to get to the point before i lost my mind. 

"i did but that doesn't mean i wanted to." they responded and that only made me even more confused than i was. trying to sober up for the talk we were having. "so many things happened and i know i fucked up quite a lot, distancing myself, being petty, saying things i didn't mean to but overrall just thinking it was okay to cross the line with you," that's when all the memories came floating back like they were in the air, like polaroids drifting through me. 

"it's way more than that (y/n), you played with me, my feelings and my state of mind," i said honestly, a bit too brutal for but at least it was me expressing how i felt. "i just wanted you and you wanted everyone else, i cannot explain how you made me feel because i don't want to go through that again, god i still fucking want you and i fucking hate myself for it." i said, shocking myself and biting my lip to not let any more stupid words out.

"i know, i know you deserve better, that's why this is not a speech for you to take me back but one for you to let go." they said and i looked at them again, expecting for this to be a prank but they could never lie to me, they're terrible at lying. "mingyu invited me and said i should talk to you, i should've approached you earlier but my boyfriend insisted that i should wait and-".

"boyfriend?" i asked.

"yeah he's the one i was with, jaehyun is his name." they muttered almost as if they were feeling guilty for telling me that they were dating someone while i just admitted how i felt. "wonwoo... i'm sorry, i fucked up and i really wanted to stay friends with you but everything passed by so fast, you blocked me, you gave me my things, i tried explaining a million times but you just wouldn't listen to me, to how i felt":

"why should i have? huh?" i asked and laughed bitterly, it's almost as if they couldn't understand the hurt that they've done in the process. "you care so much about yourself it's unbelievable, you understand that what you did was crossing the line yet you expect me to understand how you felt when you left me hanging for so long? when you decided to play with my feelings? when you are now with the guy who you kissed that night while we were still together?" i couldn't stop shaking my head, it was a habit at this point. the weight on my heart felt like it was crumbling as i looked at them one last time.

"have a good life (y/n), don't come looking for me ever again".

[pekoetiikapu]

Synopsis: The stupid decision Tressa made was to ask Trey for help in protecting her from her possinle stalker, however the paranoia is getting to her and she hopes that her stupid decision was the correct one, especially with how unsafe she’s starting to feel with the competition growing ever so closer, and her opponent being right at her side.

Contents: Trey x Tressa, stalker, teasing(rivalry way?), bickering, misunderstanding, fighting(not gruesome)

Authors Note: I was honestly so lazy but I think it deserves a part two, I mean there will be more but y’know— also, thanks to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

Word Count: 515

prev story » ❤︎ « next story

Tressa couldn’t even thank herself, what was she doing? Why was she even asking Trey? What about Ari and Rhyme Monarch? She was a night, or meant to represent a night, and yet she asked a clover, the man himself, Trey for help. Was she going insane? Was she delusional? Why did she call him out of everyone? Especially since the date of the competition is coming ever so closer, it was stupid. What was she even doing? Her rival was next to her. Yet she thought, yeah! This is a smart idea, it’s not like this could backfire on me right? Tressa sighs,

What was I even thinking? This is stupid! I can’t believe…Tressa was deep in thought before Trey snapped her out of it,

“You good scaredy cat?”

What did he just call me? Tressa thought to herself, as soon as Trey finished grabbing his lunch, she stopped him,

“For the record, I am not scared! I’m just taking safety measures!” Of course, she was lying, safety measures? Of course she was trying to be safe…but it was practically an excuse. Other than the fact that she was actually scared…

“You sure you’re not? Look at you, you called your biggest rival to come protect you from this ‘stalker’, and you have the last name as Night! Can’t believe you expect me to just believe you don’t have some sort of plan to make NRC lose.” Trey chuckles, his words make her blood boil.

Is he seriously doubting me? Why was she even surprised? They were rivals, of course they’d try tricking each other every now and then.

Eventually, Tressa and Trey had to practice for the competition. How are we gonna do this…Tressa thought to herself, trying yo be and all, thinking about some overly complicated way of making sure Trey doesn’t cheat when the answer was pretty simple…she snaps out of her thoughts when he speaks.

“Why don’t we just use different kitchens?” Tressa stares at him, wait, why is that an actual good idea? She thought to herself, Royal Sword Academy had two kitchen, why didn’t she think of that?

“That’s— actually smart! Okay, let’s do that.” Trey geld back a snicker, Tressa was acting as if she had come up with the idea, was she that desperate to feel powerful and smart? He smiles at at her, then asks,

“How come you’re acting all smart? I did come up with the idea.” Tressa freezes, she turns to look at him,

“Well— I— I’m smart! And— I— you— just shut up!” Tressa couldn’t even construct her sentences properly, jeez what is wrong with me? She thought. Trey stared at her blankly, before chuckling.

“Was I supposed to understand that?” Tressa’s face burned red, out of embarrassment of course.

“I— of course you were! You’re just— stupid!” Her voice cracked somewhere in the middle, anyway, Tressa continued to scold Trey for being “stupid” when clearly there was no way a human could understand what she was actually trying to say before.

Of course Trey made fun of her for being a scaredy-cat and of course, Tressa would have to deal with it for the rest of the time.

© pekoetiikapu ❤︎ These stories are originally created by the original poster (me). Please do not steal or plagiarize my stories and do not steal their ideas. Do not repost the stories in or out of the app, please and thank you.

[burninlovebutler]

17 - Do Not Disturb // Forever Winter // a.b x oc

warnings: sad?, ANGST, more internal conflict you know the drill, mentally unstable shit, drugs, 18+ always, mdni

17/? - Austin copes (poorly) with what he knew was always going to happen. But perhaps the loneliness and internal turmoil could ignite some motivational fuel.

see masterlist/summary for background info + chapter log

𝚂𝚘 𝚐𝚘 𝚊𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖

𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎

𝙶𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚜, 𝚊 𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕

-AUSTIN-

Elsie rushed into my bedroom tossing her duffle bag of clothes onto the bed, hastily throwing her belongs in. I knew this was coming but I guess a part of me - a deep deep part of me - wanted her to stay. What she saw in him I will never know. What does she need him for anyway? She could stay here and

and

well, I don't really know.

I wasn't her boyfriend, nor did I want to be.

Couldn't a best friend be enough? Maybe without him we could keep doing what we did last night. I'd like that. I'd really like that. Probably more than I should. 

We could come up with some intricate plan. Friends only - sex - no strings - and especially no love. At least not the romantic kind. Only friendship, friends with benefits, nothing messy. I know people say friends with benefits never works out but, our friendship was stronger than that. It could withstand it, right? It could withstand anything.

Anyway, it would be better than whatever fucked up shit she had with Nox. That shit was anything but love. And it'd probably be better than whichever ditzy girl I end up with next.

It didn't matter because I'd never pitch that to her and she'd leave no matter what I said.

“You just don’t fucking understand Austin.”

“No, I think I understand perfectly fine. Can’t you see what he does to you? You’re fucking delusional to go back to him.” My hands gesturing with my words, “You were here for weeks because you had a friend over and he was insecure.” Jaw clenching, “He had you in a chokehold because you had a friend over, is that not insane to you?”

She sucked in a breath closing her eyes and clutching a shirt like she was restraining from saying something she shouldn’t.

I was doing the same, restraining from throwing in her face what we had done last night. 

'I'm sitting in your lap silly'

'I wanna do it again'

'Never with anyone else'

’Stay’

“You just don’t fucking understand.” She repeated, this time through clenched teeth and a pointed hand.

“Oh really? What is it then? What is it that I don’t fucking understand?” My hand snatched the blue chiffon shirt from her death grip, holding it hostage for her attention.

Anger coursed through her, I could see it on her pinched face when she snapped up to me. “I love him Austin, he’s my boyfriend.” Going out of her way to emphasize that word as if it was the most important piece of this entire puzzle. 

“Yeah well, he doesn’t fucking act like it.” The words jutted from my lips before I could stop them, but it was the truth. My arms defensively crossed my chest. 

She narrowed her eyes at me pressing her lips together. “And you do?”

The words like daggers, ones I wasn’t armed for. But maybe I did act more like it than him, since I actually cared about her - and could actually make her cum. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, well actually, just the bare fucking minimum. It’s really not that fucking hard to be a good man, especially not to her. I didn't understand how he could treat her like that, with the heart that she has, the body that she has. Any half decent man would treat her like a queen, not like she's some simple handmaiden.

Would it be so bad if I did treat her better?

“Do you remember what you said to Nox when he had me against the fridge? You said, ‘at least Austin fucking cares about me’. What happened to that? Was that a lie? Because I don’t fucking think so.”

The edges of her mouth dropped into a frown and stayed silent for a beat. “I just have to Aus. I just need to go back. I love him. I have to try to make it work.” Her voice softer now, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

I stepped forward towering over her, “Answer the question.”

Her green eyes fluttered down from mine.

“No.”

Exactly.

But I knew I couldn’t stop her, no matter how much I wanted, no matter how much I tried. I wasn’t going to win this fight. I never do.

“You can’t go back to him El, please don’t.” I pleaded for what seemed like the millionth time.

She slung her bags over her shoulder, rushing out of the room, determined to reach the front door.

“I have to Aus- I love him.” Not daring to look up at me. “He’s better now, he apologized. It’s okay I promise.”

Safeguarding the door with a pressed hand, stopping her from opening the door, “Elsie, I can’t let you leave- it’s not safe. Don’t you see that?”

The anger returned. I was sick of it. “Well don’t fucking come back to me when he breaks your heart again. I won’t do it anymore, I can’t do it. I won’t pick up the pieces again. You don’t get to just use me whenever your shitty boyfriends do shitty things.”

“Use you? That’s fucking rich.”

Neither one of us still not daring to break the close call clause. 

“I have to go.” Though her tone wasn’t angry, it was soft. Sad.

And as quickly as she ended up here was as fast as she was gone.

-

It had been weeks since I’d spoken to her since she left. There was a strange knot that had taken shelter in my stomach. It feigned anger, maybe sadness. It was odd, like the type of hurt that comes from being cheated on.

My warm bed had become my refuge. I laid staring at the ceiling while my mind had floated somewhere I couldn’t reach. It wasn’t until my phone alarm went off that I realized that I never fell asleep. I hadn’t slept at all.

Letting out a heavy sigh before trying my best to unglue myself from the bed I had fused with. My body had been feeling so empty. Arms, stomach, chest – all hollow. My ribs felt like an empty bird cage.

After the alarm, my phone rang once more. This time from Elsie. This was about the 4th time she’s called in the last 2 weeks. I knew because I kept count. With an annoyed groan, I clicked to ignore it then turned on Do Not Disturb. My head was too crowded to even attempt deciphering the knots that strung my intestines together every time she called.

Was it because I was pissed? Or because I missed her? Was I hurt? Jealous?

This wasn’t the first time she’d ditched me for a boyfriend post-make up. But it never bothered me this much. It never hurt. But this did. And I didn’t know why. What was different now.

I pulled my gray MacBook opening it only to shut it again soon after. It was full of only study material for my newest role. The biggest of my career – which wasn’t saying much. It was just my first Hollywood role, everything I’d done so far had been indie shit. The heaviest pressure I had ever experienced since the character was so strong. Could I even execute that? I mean my last role was last year in a low budget film about aliens in an attic. Indie aliens. Not exactly Oscar worthy material.

My palms pressed into my sleepless eyes hard enough to cause white flashes in them. They glossed over to my wooden nightstand littered in trash, half eaten food, and pill bottles.

I need to get it together.

I filtered through the orange bottles, giving them a shake before reading the label. Sometimes I liked to play this game where I’d pick a number and take whatever bottle I ended up with on that round.

I plucked three different bottles before landing on my fourth, shaking it to make sure there were pills left. A flood of round, white pills poured into my hand and formed a small triangle in my palm. Cupping my hand, I poured the majority of them back, keeping two to swallow dry.

Keeping track of what meds I should take and when to take them became so exhausting. I lost track of whatever regimen I was supposed to be on, and I didn’t care anymore.

Some pills made me nauseous, some made me insanely thirsty, some ferociously hungry. Some made me too sleepy to function during the day, and others kept me up all night. And the ones that were supposed to keep me from fucking killing myself, killed my sex drive instead. That was arguably the worst one. Is life even worth it if you can’t get off?

I liked taking meds I chose, on my terms. The ones I liked.

I didn’t like the term addict. Nothing about my demeanor screamed addict. But I guess there is no mascot for addiction.

I derailed slightly, sure. But it was temporary, until I felt okay again. And it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t a relapse. I’m not out of control. I’ll get back on track when I feel better. I just needed a little break.

Anyway, I was still taking my meds. Technically.

My leg began to bounce, a dead giveaway that anxiety was creeping up. A chill rolled up my spine. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” I repeated to myself in an effort to calm down. My hand instinctively ran through my now shoulder-length hair, another anxiety reflex.

I attempted to focus on a blank wall, a coping mechanism suggested by my therapist. Thanks Carol.

If you look hard enough at something, even a wall, you can always find details to focus on – the paths the paint streaked, the texture, the way light or shadows bounced off of it. The objective was to slow my brain down before it got overwhelming. It worked sometimes, depending on how soon I noticed the signs.

My worn-down nails nervously picked at what was left of my raw cuticles. They were ripped to shreds, sometimes pulling blood.

Slowly my anxiety temporarily slipped away, and I was finally able to get out of the messy bed.

I spread almond butter on some wheat toast accompanied by a glass of cold oat milk. My leg began to bounce once more.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to get a little extra help.

Now, I wasn’t particularly fond of smoking weed since being diagnosed, but it had helped me calm down before.

After breakfast I grabbed a metallic black grinder, picked some shredded green out, and packed it into a glass pipe. I flicked the lighter on letting the flame dance above the leaves before letting it burn. I wrapped my lips around the mouth of the glass piece, inhaling a sharp hit of smoke. Immediately with an exhale, the curling smoke cloud seemed to lift weight from my chest.

-

Inspired by my newly brightened mood, I decided to take my laptop and find a small coffee shop to work in. As I strolled through the city, the cold New York air hit my face pulling some pink out in my cheeks. My dazed bloodshot eyes squinted as I walked past rushing people. The city was never quiet, not even for a second, but this was one of the calmer days. And yet it still felt so crowded. I took the brief lull in the crowd to appreciate the falling snow, tilting my head back and letting snowflakes delicately land on my tongue. 

Finding my regular coffee shop, Roast. I ordered my usual and picked a quaint corner to work in. Roast was my favorite because it looked like a traditional coffee shop. Everything wooden, soft jazz filling the space, real coffee beans, quiet.

I worked for what felt like hours, and after 3 more oat milk cold brews later I was able to work on everything I couldn’t at home.

-

This was my new routine. Wake up, smoke, go to Roast, work, come home. For the last week I had been working diligently on my research. My mood was brighter, I felt lighter, and life didn’t feel so bleak anymore.

I finally found my rhythm, my secret formula. Therapy was working – the days I attended anyway. I was more productive, more focused, sharp.

The only thing that was missing was Elsie. I wanted her to see me like this, she would be so proud of me. But I couldn’t bring myself to answer any call.

Everything felt so complicated now. I wanted to be a good friend, protect her, get her out of the situation. But she wouldn’t listen to me. She couldn’t see how shitty he was, how dangerous he was. It was like he brainwashed her and put her in rose-colored glasses.

A turn of my stomach suggested something else. I didn’t want to call because things had changed – or I guess went back to normal.

Did I want to go back?

Another dull ache in my chest hinted it was more than that. The fact that she wanted to go back. She erased everything- like a swift shake of a 90’s Etch-A-Sketch.

-

As I made my way back home from the coffee shop, the freezing cold laid claim to my face. I tucked my laptop case against my body, as if it would warm me up. This was my fourth successful, productive day. A foreign sense of pride had planted a seed of motivation in me. While I wasn’t going to leave for filming anytime soon, I had gained more confidence in myself. It was almost enough excitement to snuff out the nerves.

Even though this positivity coursed through me, the arrogant New Yorkers I was swerving between were infuriating, annoying, unbearable. Almost enough to make me snap.

After crossing a busy street, I passed by a corner bistro. I almost missed it. If I hadn’t needed to dodge a tourist, I wouldn’t have seen it.

I caught a glimpse of a tall man in a leather jacket.

Could it be?

Is that?

I back peddled and dipped behind the corner to get a closer view of the outdoor table he sat at. I felt like some kind of super spy. Though some wicked spy gear would’ve came in handy as his back was facing me.

My eyes widened not wanting to believe what I was seeing. A distinctive dagger tattoo on his hand that I had the luxury of coming to be very familiar with. Nox. Sat across from him was a blonde in a slinky black dress. A dozen thoughts spun through my head all at once. How was I supposed to tell Elsie?

Pulling my iPhone from my back pocket, I decided to snap a quick picture for proof. That was probably the smartest thing I’d ever done on my feet. Since we weren’t exactly speaking to each other, I wanted to make sure she knew I was being honest. Especially all that shit I said about him before she left.

Elsie’s apartment wasn’t too far from where I was and there was no way I could keep this from her. No matter how much it would hurt her. I had to tell her. 

Next Chapter: 18 - Nothing There

// i regret to inform you that after this chp the story takes a turn onto an absolute menace of an emotional rollercoaster so … buckle up 😬 I apologize in advance 🫣

as always, a huge THANK YOU for every like, reblog, comment or follow - you all have been SO sweet - i appreciate any support, it means the world to me & truly fuels me

i love talking about this story so feel free to send asks or comments! i'm very open to sharing headcanons, teasers or just general answers :)

love y'all

-M🥀 xx

[trickarrows-bishop]

LIVE BLOG OF ME REACTING TO EPISODE FIVE OF HSMTMTS

was gonna do this for episode four and forgot, kinda wish i did after all of THOSE scenes but anyways episode five lets GOOOOOO

[open with caution, i didn't realise how mentally unprepared i was]

THE WAY EJ WAS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING BANNER MADE ME SCREAM TBH LIKE BROTHER U WANT ME TO CRY FR FR

"richard bowen" "elton john" caswen is upon us (i cant even say im delusional because madlyn deadass nearly happened last episode)

"the musical is going swimmingly" girl u drowning dont lie

BYE NOT THE NEVER-ENDINGLY USED PLOT OF THE IDEA OF THE MUSICAL BEING CANCELLED I CANT GET AWAY FROM THIS FR

i gotta say kourtney repeatedly getting her moment is insane. like im so fucking happy rn over it its insane. like she's going therapy (WOOOOO THERAPY !!) and actually looking at her future !! im so happy for her im fr putting ms girl in my pocket

also when i found out her mom is played by dara's actual mom i screamed (not lying im so dramatic bye)

"lets start with questions!!" "great 'cause i have many" she is me and i am her. i am kourtney greene coded fr

4 JOBS??? EJ'S DAD CAN SUCK A DICK FR IDEC HE IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE MAN

i cant even say i want it made up bc ej said its a breath of fresh air and HE NEEDS THAT AIR FFS

"talking to val" WOHOOOO MENTION OF PAST CHARACTERS INSANE BEHAVIOR FROM THE WRITERS !! INSANE !! (im in delusion that nini will be back)

"you do look good" "thanks. you do look... terrible" real. ricky bowen me coded fr

cant believe we havent had one season where gina can just. have the lead. and no drama. like pls tim i was BEGGING like. at season two.

caitlyn (actress playing quinn the director) is so hilarious to me like i've been following her online for ages and bro its so funny seeing her on hsmtmts and doing exactly what she does in her other videos LMAO

"g force" i'll puke. fuck off.

GINA KINDA GAGGED QUINN THERE ???

LMFAO NOT HER CHANGING HER MIND JUST AT THE IDEA OF WINNING AN AWARD

EJ and ricky's duet lol they hate me. they want me to cry. im eight mins in too. cant wait to cry to this fr

update: crying over this duet what the fuc

can i just say how for certain songs on this soundtrack they've been HITTING or absolutely MISSING ???

this girl harper is GAGGING kourt LMAO "i see you standing here right now !!" SHES SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

miss jenn is not using siri rn.

CARLOS BB :(

SIRI SHUSH WITH UR BEEPING

trust the process WOHOOOO

why is it thunderstorming JESUS

22 pages U FUCKIN WHAT (never been in a musical idk seems like a lot)

why is she always wearing a cheer outfit its deadass like the character's personality is cheer outfit bro

"3 children" i need to buy a GUN

quinn i was just routing for u babe why u posting such bullshit on instagram. and was that a FILTER?

BIG RED???FHHSDHFADSJGHFKSDJHFASDKJBFSKV

BIGGIE ???dFHAKSDHFAKSJDHGFKASHDG IS THAT MY SON ???? MY SON ???? IS HE ALSO WEARING GLASSES WHAT THE FUCK OF FUCKS

anyways let me actually play the scene LOLZ

HIS FIRST WORDS ARE "ASH YOU LOOK AMAZING" BYE CANT DO THIS WHY WAS I ROUTING FOR MADLYN FFS

YK WHAT? ASHLYN HAS TWO HANDS. YEAH. THAT CAN WORK FOR ME

grandma red's 100th!! everyone cheered fr (i am everyone)

"your last text said you had something important to tell me" no i am not about to witness redlyn break up. nononono.

I KNEW IT

THE FUCKING MOMENT SEB SAID HE CHEATED I CONNECTED THE DOTS I WAS LIKE

"HMMMMM BIG RED JUST CAME OUT AS BI ??? YOU CHEATED ???? IDK ??? MAYBE SEB HELPED OR SOMETHING" LITERALLY SAID THAT SHIT OUT LOUD AND I WAS RIGHT HOLY FUCK OF FUCKS

"surprise!!" boy- i don't have TIME to even unPACK-

"you okay?" "i am GREAT" me when i LIE

HOLD UP

DID HE JUST

DID RICHARD JUST

MENTION NINI???? WHA

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

THIS WASN'T ON MY HSMTMTS SEASON 4 BINGO CARD?!!!!????

yeah im salty about how shit of an exit that was for nini. next question.

"afraid of the truth?" do u want me to try and make this gay or not richard cuz i stg u are giving me some mixed ass signals

nevermind this is really sad and heartbreaking let me shut the fuck up

AND NOW WE GO BACK TO REDLYN OKAYYYY

THE MOVIES??? BIG RED AND SEB AT THE MOVIES ???

all of this is just so out of character for big red and seb like what

like ej was right there tim come ON

"we were at a harry styles movie" not the fucking millennial ass writing coming in NOW

"my bi origin story" how am i supposed to feel rn??? because i don't know how to feel. like. anything. at all.

GIRL YOU BETTER TELL HIM ABOUT VAL OR MADDOX ???

"yeah!!! she was cute!!!" "yes. she was." BAHAHHAHAJHFGDSKJ

"wait..." NOT THAT BEING THE WAY SHE CAME OUT BAHHDSJH

"there were fireworks... literally"

OHHHHH SHES TALKING ABOUT MADDOX TOO UHM

"YOU almost kissed MADDOX" bro idk if ur disgusted or proud pls elaborate

OH HE KNEW FROM THE DOC LMFAO

wait so im just like ??? meant to let go of redlyn ??

"im happy for you" kms where can i get a big red

aLSO I WANT A NAME REVEAL tim PLEASE

just watched redlyn break up. now FUCKING WHAT

"friends, though... right?" YOU BET YOUR ASS KING

"i will apologise to carlos. BUT YOU NEED TO CALL MADDOX" SO REAL THANK YOU BIG RED UR SUCH A KING

ashlyn stop doubting urself like GIRLIE everyone with EYES is down bad please. PLEASE.

WHY AM I WATCHING CARLOS AND MISS JENN HAVE A CRY SESSION ON SOME RANDOM ASS COUCH ???

why is rehearsals starting at 7 in the evening. that would not fucking slide at my school. ( if i ran a school) (not happening)

"FIFTY SIX MINUTES" girl even made me move tf?

KOURTNEY'S SHOES WHAT THE FUCK I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW

oh come on just hearing all of that she HAS to go to lewis

"i just learnt mack and gina are minors" GIRL ??? WHAT DID YOU THINK-

quinn shouting "CUT!!!" louder every time

"which felt like... nine days" WHY AM I LAUGHING

"because we're friends-" bro fuck off idc

GAG HIM G IT DONT MATTER

THINK OF THE MUSICAL GINA.

ricky PROMISED FR HE BETTER BE THERE

"hugs i love that we're doing this now!!" emmy I CANT NOT LOVE YOU

ASHLYN U MAKE THAT PHONE CALL THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I NEED MADLYN RN

oh fuck i didn't realise that left carlos and big red FUCK

suddenly i DON'T want to be here

carlos can never be fully mad like if i found out someone had kissed my partner im 100% going to jail bc im so pissed off & i've probably killed someone, but why is he saying mf "good day!!" as he stormed off

MADISON FUCK OFF I AM NOT IN THE MOOD

fuck im really gonna have to have madlyn dragged out for me ffs

bro what is this weather on about tho

last time weather was important to plot it was like. keeping nini back in s2 e3 LMAO ???

EJ saying some important shit to ricky and its gonna make me cry again (its not even the finale and i have 17 mins of run time left of this episode FFS)

"im actually hurting them?" "no, you're actually hurting yourself" HOLY FUCK IM TOO VULNERABLE FOR THIS

CASWEN HUG AND IM GONNA RUN WITH IT FR

"stealing my girlfriends" BYE I CANT DO THIS

[birdmenmanga]

So - I don't recall if you've ever written about it, but how did you get into Birdmen to start with? (I don't suppose it was because you caught Yellow Tanabe's Kaitou Kid art?)

Nope, it wasn't Tanabe's Kaitou Kid art, actually!!

I'd read Kekkaishi back in middle school and loved it to pieces, so I always diligently followed the authors work afterwards (diligently as in, I'd remember her once every few years. this is as much as I can love a creator. honest.)

and honestly I thought birdmen was just okay at the time. not really my type of story, but I liked her humor and pacing and paneling and art style enough to keep tabs on it and catch up every few years.

I didn't get really into it until...maybe april 2022? november 2021 one of my friends in middle school who read kekkaishi with me reread it and convinced me to give it another whirl and I got obsessed. lol. but its fandom is basically entirely dead, so it was tough making stuff for it... I know I reread BIRDMEN because I offhandedly told bells that it was about becoming something distinctly non-human and you know that's her ballpark but then I had sudden doubts like "dang but what if birdmen is bad actually. I've got to reread it to make sure it's like. good"

I ended up making stuff for birdmen because the fandom was still holding events and stuff at the time. (I caught the last fandom event for birdmen if that counts for anything! the 2021 Christmas event I think was the last one that was ever held.) There's a 5 month gap where I had reread birdmen but wasn't sold on it and then I tried examining the narrative under a queer lens for the bit but the stuff I kept pulling up all just fit suspiciously well for something that was supposed to be string on a delusional corkboard until I was like "hm. maybe... it's this way... on purpose ? ? ? ? ? " which honestly would be insane. like I really think I am true and correct and everything but also I'm ready to eat my words at a moment's notice but also when miss tanabe dies and people rifle through her belongings and such I am waiting for people to find some kind of will or testament or printout which will inevitably confirm my theory. like im that annoying and cocky like i'm literally waiting to be like yeah see i was right the entire fucking time. but also i'm just a sillyguy im just saying words and the words probably aren't even good and I'm probably just silly and wrong and delusional but I really think everyone is too cynical like I really think she did it on purpose. like yes I know. it's ludicrous.

but also. i think it's possible. i really do.

anyways here's the picture of kaitou kid that tanabe sensei drew for the curious. you know how it is ! ! !

[bestworstcase]

I'm sorry, but claiming that the people who are upset with how Cassandra and Varian were handled are not only part of the fandom, but misogynistic is absolutely insane. I'm sorry that I don't think one measly apology to Rapunzel, and no one else, after going out of her way to try and hurt and KILL Rapunzel and her loved ones is enough to redeem her or make her any type of hero. She was handled SO poorly, and so was Varian. Varian played an important role as the antagonist and to Rapunzel, challenging Rapunzel's morals and having to force her to ask the question: who do I prioritize, my friends or my kingdom? and then he was left to rot in a prison for an entire season. And then he was brought back and used as essentially bait and nothing more. But then the next season with Cassandra goes against her entire arc with Varian, because then she just drops everything, ignores her duties as a princess, and fixates on Cassandra. She ignores the fact that Cassandra is hurting her subjects and her loved ones, kidnaps Varian, and tries to fucking KILL Rapunzel, but somehow, she's more important to Rapunzel because "she can fix her", which is a problematic concept in itself. So, yeah, I think it's entirely unfair to assume that people who don't like how your favorite and least favorite characters were handled are part of the hatedom, and even worse, misogynistic and racist. It's really bold and disgusting and downright delusional. Please, think about how your words affect others and realize how the world doesn't revolve around you.

beloved are u trying to insinuate that i think the writing in season three was good? SKDHKLGSKDF

you must be new here

so to break it down:

s3 was objectively bad on technical merits

s3 is where the myriad structural weaknesses in the tts narrative collapsed, after two seasons of the story mostly making the 'grand overarching quest narrative but rigidly episodic storytelling' thing work. this is largely because cassandra is, structurally speaking, the protagonist during s3

the character writing from ep to ep was exceptionally poor for everyone in the cast, with cass, rapunzel, & varian getting the lion's share of the fucking-over

i am categorically anti-redemption arc for reasons i have discussed at length, literally just search 'redemption' on my blog lmao

the primary reason cassandra's villain arc got fumbled so badly is that tts was unwilling or unable, as a narrative, to tackle the actual legitimate grievances she had against rapunzel, and therefore resorted to using the gothel fig leaf and not allowing rapunzel to reflect or grow or change meaningfully throughout the season; varian's s3 arc suffered in a similar way but to a lesser extent from the inability of the disney princess cartoon to actually like. focus on the systemic problems that harmed him. the blame for this lies squarely on disney and corporate fiction in general

being cognizant of / acknowledging / talking about narrative weaknesses or failings and/or expressing disappointment or irritation at the way a story turned out =/= participating in hatedom, hatedom is the toxic phenomenon that emerges when subfandom spaces begin to revolve primarily around vitriolic vivisection of a piece of media

i want u to look me in the eyes and tell me that the tts fandom by and large taking the arab-coded man whose central motivation is attacking the kingdom that conquered his people a few hundred years ago and going 'this is a sadistic insane child rapist here are a hundred fics about him viciously abusing varian often so the white protagonists can brutally retaliate' isn't racist jesus christ anon

tts put the 'don't be blatantly racist about the racially diverse separatists of saporia' bar under the ground and the tts fandom collectively pulled out a shovel

anyway,

let me put it like this:

in s1, varian slips through the cracks of corona's non-existent support network and is let down by his friends while the king sends secret police to hunt him down after the traumatic (apparent) death of his father, and as a consequence he slides into a downward spiral which ends in him terroristically attacking the capital, grievously injuring many guards, kidnapping and threatening to murder the queen, and then trying to personally murder three people before he's stopped.

the typical hatedom stance here is that varian did nothing wrong because he was just a child and how dare that bitch rapunzel not help him like she promised (even though she...did, without hesitation, as soon as he got in touch with her and she discovered that her father was lying to her about having handled his problem!)

in s2, after two years of being taken for granted and having her boundaries stomped into the ground by rapunzel--who for all that she does truly care has zero experience with what it takes to be a good friend and fucks up a lot--& a LIFETIME of being expected to do two or three times the amount of work for a tiny fraction of the reward as anyone else, cass gets her hand burnt to a blackened husk by her best friend, who then 1. does not apologize for this, 2. gets mad at her for being upset, and 3. blames her for the injury. as a consequence, cassandra decides to trust the weird ghost who is kind and sympathetic to her and grabs the moonstone, then spirals hard on account of the ghost being a malicious demon bent on manipulating her, and eventually returns to corona to... terroristically attack and eventually raze the capital and try to murder rapunzel.

the typical hatedom stance here is that cassandra is a narcissistic abusive power-hungry bitch who had zero reasons for doing what she did and deserves to be executed or at least imprisoned or otherwise harshly punished for it. (even though the entire point of varian's imprisonment and subsequent radicalization by the separatists, and his hasty redemption arc after rapunzel offered him a second chance, was to illustrate the vague stance tts takes that punitive measures are not the answer to criminal behavior and are in fact actively counterproductive and harmful. which. is a stance that the folks in the tts hatedom will largely agree with as long as you are talking about varian instead of cassandra)

like u see the contradiction here, right. i invite u to explain to me why "boy does bad things because trauma = boy did nothing wrong, girl does bad things because trauma = girl is evil bitch who should die" isn't a misogynistic double standard gmksdfh

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

Nyx reads It's Not Summer Without You

Ok you guys so when I read the first book I read it in a day so that's what I'm gonna TRY to do however, if I don't finish it there might be spaces in between where I sum up everything I read while at school, just a heads up!!

Anyways here's the obligatory warning, DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS!!! It's just for fun but it might get annoying, I promise it won't hurt my feelings 💀

and of course

SPOILER WARNING!!!!

ok before I actually start

I gotta come clean

AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

I am a jeremiah girl

I have been don't even start he's the cutest shut up

anyways

Conrad isn't bad I'm just saying I like Jeremiah better

AND I did hear conrad ain't good in this book so I mean

ok actually chapter one now

so I read the first book last year

so I have no idea what's going on

but I'll figure it out

OK THAT WAS KINDA CUTE

oh right that happened.

omg I know someone named Cory

he'd do the same thing!!!!

this is literally the first chapter wtf

I'm about to cry

chapter 2

omg he called!!!

jeremiah still better

I gotta admit they're cute though

and steven slays per usual

chapter 3!!!

oh I hate Taylor I'm sorry

so annoying ngl

poor Laurel :(

cory seems nice though!!

istg if taylor don't

OMG IT HURTS STOP

chapter 4!!

JEREMIAH???

WAIT WERE THERE POVS IN THE OTHER BOOK?

HOLD ON

GOING TO CHECK

THERE ISN'T

WHAT IS THIS

who cares it's my fav!!!

oh that's sad.

NOO NOOO NOOOOO

HOW COULD YOU??

I'M CRYING NOW TOO

anyways

after I chilled out a bit

chapter 5

stop.

I just stopped crying.

stop it.

ok there the tears go again

you guys, we're only on page 31, chill.

STOP. IT.

"And I've been praying, I never did before"

esny has been in my head this whole chapter it's devastating

NOT BOTH OF THEIR DADS

FUCK THAT SHIT

bro. not mtr rn. I'm already crying.

stop it.

CONRAD???

BELLY. NO WAY.

holy shit that was a fucking rollercoaster I'm still crying omg

alright let's keep going!!!! chapter 6

GONE??

this is actually so sad

I came here for cute summer vibes

not sobbing less than 50 pages in

chapter 7

istfg

i hate this girl

she makes ME crazy istg i actually

UGHH

ok cinderbelly is really cute though

chapter 8

uh oh another pov

BUT JEREMIAH!!!

oh we're going back

good cause then I won't cry

they're so taylor swift coded

oh shit ok I lied

I'm gonna cry wtf

it's ok jeremiah I'll love you for her!!!

I feel bad for him tho ngl

chapter 9

this is so sad wtf

help me please

THE LAST LINE??? I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN BRO

chapter 10

istfg taylor swift is out to get me

fucking

fucking yoyok??

I'm gonna cry

wonder how many times I've said that

bro I'm already almost out of sad tabs what

ok so I read like a lot at school and when I say a lot I mean A LOT like I'm now on chapter 29!!!

anyways still love jere, hate mr. fisher, feel bad for conrad, wonder why her dad and mom broke up but that was prob in the first book

ok we're starting mid 29 (and adding 30)

I'll kiss him for her!!!

also when did they start calling her bells

I mean it's cute but where'd it come from

you're right. you don't have a right 😭

weren't you JUST upset about Conrad?

yeah he doesn't love her cause he loves ME

I'm delusional just go with it!!

NAH NOT ANGIE 💀

how do I remember her but like not half the other stuff help

omg taylor again

I'm sorry I despise her

both of them are driving me insane rn 💀

chapter 31

DECOMPOSING ROSES 💀

reminds me of andrew's spidey "Let's just get out of here" while shaking his head

I love that scene

he's so cute

but anyways back to the book

bro connie getting on my nerves

FORGIVENESS

CAN YOU IMAGINE

oh belly I'm gonna cry

JERE!!!

oooh someone jelly

jelly over belly

LMAO

PROVING MY POINT

JERE>>>

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

IS THERE SOMETHING I'M LIKE MISSING OR WHAT

chapter 33

SHIT I FORGOT HER NAME WAS ISABEL

BELLY.

OMG WHAT

and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad

I have a lot of regrets about that

WOOHOO WE GOT HER!!!

JEREMIAH!!!

chapter 34

ew yellow popsicles

jelly at age 13 bro

AWW HE DID GET SICK BUT BELLS HUNG OUT WITH HIM

chapter 35

STILL JERE!!!

I feel like this is the first time I remember him speaking badly of his dad

I love him sm you have no idea

chapter 36

bro

connie gotta think before he speaks stg 🙄

he likes his bacon like my dad does!!

I like my dad a lot better than mr. fisher though

GO LAUREL!!!

FUCK MR FISHER

um girl

that's your daughter

why are you like

yknow what who cares

chapter 37

JERE!!!!

why is she

ok I got a bone to pick

1

why is she a better parent to the boys than belly

2

WHERE TF IS STEVEN?

oh this is so sad :(

chapter 38

I am officially out of sad tabs

BUT NO WORRIES

FOR I HAVE ANOTHER PACK!!

look at her being a genius

come back...be here!!!

so taylor coded

I'm adding chapter 39 here too

too lazy to add a divider 💀

omg girl shut up about connie jeremiah is right there

I'm calling him connie cause it's funny and I know he would hate it

like matty boy

Chapter 40!!!

OMG BELLY FLOP!!!! WOOHOO

there's my cute summer book

I missed you

SEE JERE IS RIGHT THERE GIRL

slurpees!!

Oh NOW he remembers stuff 🙄

chapter 41

oh jere don't do this to me

scripting out her death cause I can't deal no way

BRO I'M GONNA-

omg good job connie!!

SEE HE REMEMBERS

JERE IS BETTER

COME ON BELLS HOW CAN YOU BE SO PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS

YES

YESSS

THERE YOU GO JERE THERE YOU GO

WOOHOO!!!!

wish that was me though ✊😔

YESSSSS!!

uh oh connie is back

ngl I'd be mad pissed

CONRAD

I KNOW YOU MAD AND I WOULD BE TOO BUT DAMN

my words shoot to kill when I'm mad!!!

chapter 42

oh my god

bro

you guys gotta talk this shit out ngl

ohhh not steven don't do that to me

CONNIE BRO

bro istfg if you go back to connie I'm gonna cry again

43

this is driving me insane ngl

BELLYYY

NOOO THE END??? WTF YOU MEAN A COUPLE YEARS LATER???

excuse me is she leaving a wedding?

um

bro how am I supposed to wait a year

I'm gonna cry

[niuxita21]

No one asked for this but I’m still gonna word-vomit my feelings on the finale because if I don’t process them I’m gonna explode (don’t worry it’s not a rant or anything, I just have a lot of Thoughts).

OK so my main concern regarding this as the backbone of the season 3 storyline is that, for it to play out in a way that I will actually enjoy, the ONLY option is to have it be so that they eventually realize that they are enjoying their little charade a bit too much and find themselves wishing it were real and THAT is one of the big revelations/twists of the season. Otherwise, it would just feel too much like they’re cheapening the relationship, which is weird considering that this is a ship that THEY created, that has fans because THEY said "Here, ship this, and no, you are not delusional, it's real." And the thing is that, if they were a straight couple, there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind that THAT is where they were headed, but I’ve been burned too many times by shows with f/f ships not to be a little apprehensive. I'm also not super thrilled with the whole "using the gay flag in vain," as Ana's lawyer put it, which is why the only way for me to be comfortable with this storyline is for them to think they are doing this purely as a means to an end only to realize they don't actually want it to be JUST a pretend situation anymore. So, as you can see, there are a lot of caveats in order for this storyline to be enjoyable for me, lol, there's so much at stake here I'm so stressed!!!!

And yet, weirdly, there’s also a part of me that’s glad they didn’t actually go there with them for real just yet? IDK it’s just... if they had, I would be really stressed out right now (what else is new lmao) fearing that the execution of an actual relationship between Ana and Mariana could fall short of what it could be. But now, whatever they do, it’s gonna be fake anyway, so there’s less pressure! LOL. And also, yeah, I’m one of those crazies who actually LIKE a good, drawn-out slow burn and sometimes find it more compelling than the actual relationship bits of a ship, so I don’t mind waiting a bit longer for the payoff (PROVIDED that the payoff does actually come, that’s the thing. Hence my anxiety). And also like... The show is gonna give me FAKE DATING???? Only THE most god-tier trope that is impossible to find in an f/f context??? How did I get so lucky???? So yeah, in spite of myself, there is a lot to be excited about for next season. And, as someone somewhere pointed out, it was Juan Carlos and Pablo the ones who wanted to use the “weird situation between Ana and Mariana” against them in an explicitly homophobic manner, so if Ana and Mariana want to fight back against such a ridiculous ploy to fight them for their kids, I’d say they’re entitled.

And there are a few tidbits that I did find reassuring: 1) Once again, THE FUCKING SONG that played over the kiss/announcement I mean??? All about how “you can try to fight it but you’ll eventually realize I am the one for you” and “when [love I guess?] hits you, it happens even if you try to get away” and basically being a Mexican version of Shania Twain’s “I’m Gonna Getcha Good” and I AM GOING INSANE like you wouldn’t score a pretend kissing scene that way if you didn’t want the audience’s takeaway to be that there’s something more than just pretend there, right? RIGHT??? 2) The fact that Ludwika and Paulina are posting Ana/Mariana manips and pictures of the infamous necklaces with romantic lyrics, etc., which speaks to there being a more serious undercurrent to this situation than just “LOL fake gay dating to stick it to our baby daddies who are being insufferable about custody battles.”

And while I’m overanalyzing, I’m very intrigued by Mariana’s uneasiness after Ana asks if she’s ready for the annoucement and before Mariana confirms that she is. I mean it can probably be explained away most obviously by Mariana not wanting her newfound “arrangement” with Ana to mess up her budding relationship with Ferrán (which is a valid point). But IDK I kinda want to think that there’s something deeper there that has more to do with Mariana being worried about all this bringing back all her feelings for Ana that she thought she was over, especially considering that, as far as she knows, Ana doesn’t feel the same way. So, in Mariana’s head, it would be like a Faking It-type situation where she’s having to fake a relationship with someone to whom the charade is just a means to an end, whereas for Mariana the feelings are very much real. This would be a much more interesting path to take so I hope there’s some of that in the subtext of Mariana’s actions next season.

So, all in all, this season played out pretty much exactly how I expected/hoped it would. I fully expected the show to take its time to bring Ana and Mariana back together just in a friendly capacity because that’s Storytelling 101, and I didn’t expect anything romantic to happen between them until at least the penultimate episode (that’s Telenovela 101). What I failed to foresee, lol, was that ending and the fact that the show wouldn’t go there with them just yet. I actually reasonably expected them to get them together for real in the season finale (I spoiled myself with a YT fanvid thumbnail of the kiss, so I thought it was for real and, by the time I’d watched the second-to-last episode, I figured it would be the final scene) and then season 3 would finally deal with them trying to navigate a relationship. Silly me! But by now, after a LOT of sleeping on it, I actually think this is a way better option?? Lots more potential for fun hijinks, which is the show’s trademark, plus maybe some romantic/UST moments between them as they’re trying to keep up the charade. I don’t actually mind that they won’t be in a relationship for real yet because this whole setup is enough for me (once again, PROVIDED that there’s real subtext there). Is it December (?) yet????

[berryunho]

yea i’ve heard some horror stories about kpop stans in GA and i’m .. very conflicted lol but omg i swear everyone says that like.. it still hasn’t sunk in that i’m seeing them after all these years. i can’t even imagine how it’s gonna feel seeing their insane stage presence up close?? LIKE WDYM IM GONNA BE UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS ATEEZ?:$.?

also ticketing was the worst experience of my life i can’t lie 😃 it was literally an emotional roller coaster.. i went from being on top of the world after scoring tickets to having a breakdown after realizing i accidentally bought an accessible seat??? and then 5 minutes after i stopped crying they announced a second date and my friends were yelling at me to jump in the queue it was so ??? LSKSKSK WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE WHAT I WENT THROUGH ON WEDNESDAY

yk ive seen ateez. 4 times. and i still forget that that was like. REAL. like i literally BAWLED during pirate king the first time i saw them bc it took like. 10 minutes of them standing in front of me for my brain to be like 'oh thats actually ateez' LKDJF:SKDJFSD but anyways hala hala dance break irl is a spiritual experience. thats all i can say. (honestly just. hongjoong irl. is a spiritual experience too) (maybe this is me being delusional again but i swear to you he has hearts in his eyes like you can FEEEEEELLLLL his love for you/everyone/the situation/everything just radiating off of him its insane)

BUT LITERALLY ticketing was SOOOO scary. i sat at my laptop for a full like 1.5 hours before the tickets went on sale i was clutching my credit card i had like 20 photocards out on my desk and i was NAUSEOUS and shaking but... yeah... WE PULLED THROUGH THATS ALL THAT MATTERS ! pls accidentally buying an accessible seat seems like something that happens often so i really wouldnt be too worried about it !!! BUT ALKSDFJLASKJDF literally i had just finished buying mine too when i saw they added that date and i was like "damn good for them" LOL SO YEAH it was a very traumatic day but.... we secured what mattered and we're seeing ateez so ... OJIDFLJLDJFSLDKFJ YAAAYYYYYY

[femalehysteria420]

No actually fuxk all the people who traumatized me i dont give a fuck ill say their names im not fucking scared because nothing that they can do now is what they put me through fuck you julian and james (girls will get groomed by one man and abused by another within the same time frame lmfao but also james started dating an 14 year old when he was 19 so take that as you fucking will) and the biggest fuck younof all to grey thanks for ruining ny fucking lifeni cant sleep i cant eat anymore ive been relapsing weekly at this point soemtimes even more thannonce a week yeah its my fault but its your fucking fault to go to hell fuck you seriously and you know what im not a liar or a faker no one even follows this blog im fucking venting because i deserve it and i am so tired of hearing allt hese fears im crazy im auust a delusional hysterical woman im a liar for attention i made it all up wlel so what it im downright clinically insane i dont guve a fuck i dont give a fuck if im fucking schizoaffective and bpd whatever fuck it fuck you i hope allof these people die i hope youre miserable i hope someone tortures and kills you but it makes me so mar becuaee youll never understand youll never get the pain and suffering youve put me through and when i inevidably find the appropriate time to kill myself my blood will be on your hands and before i go you better expect me to go fucking hannah baker fucking dark betty cooper whatever i will be your worst nightmare i deserve a good for her suicide and i hope grey will never be able to find a job when i tell everuone, and i mean everyone, i dont care befause at this point if i can come upnwith a plan that isnt too impulsive who gives a shit if i post my final exposee on facebook god isiund like hannah baker but you know what she was right and im right fuck you forever i hope every this whole world burns i hope everything burns i dont care is what i keep saying buti do care i do care a lot ajd i hopeaplnof i hese epople live horrible miserablenlifes then spend anotehr eternity of hell suffering I could kin lime from the witchs heart couldnt i but anyway theyll never get it theyll never understand the weight of what they did to me they ruined my fucking life you ruined everything for me i hate you i hate you more than i could even put into words i sound insane i KNOW is oumd imsane but who cares about me sounding insane anymore

Actually scratchall that my friwnd texted me and i remember my friends make me happynand inlove theknok fuck i cant fucking type fuck all the bad people but i love my friends holy shit do i have borderlinenpersonality disorder

[geminisholland]

Hi! What would you think about writing a fic where Tom and reader are both working on a show or movie or something, and they have feelings for each other, but they're too nervous to do anything, and then they both end up in a prop closet or something alone, and then ✨stuff✨ happens? If not that's fine!!

a/n: uhhh i got really carried away with this, and am really obsessed with the idea so thank u for sending it over!! also actress!reader is like my favorite trope to read so it really was no shock this was my favorite to write! i also did my best to portray tom as the gemini man he is. also, my inbox is open, send over requests!

warnings: cussing, sexual tension u could cut with a knife, an intense make out sesh (no smut)

word count: 2211

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if u are a struggling college student like me who doesn’t have any money, feedback and sharing my stories is a great way to support me. i love hearing feedback, so feel free to ask me or send any suggestions u may have, my inbox is open. i appreciate every single one of u more than u know. thank u thank u THANK U!!!!!

the long nights on set were beginning to catch up with you and your costars. every day you felt more delusional, surviving only by the caffeine that tom would bring every morning. it was really a routine at this point, you’d sit down in the chair of the hair and makeup trailer, and one minute later tom would stroll in with your exact order.

“and an iced matcha for the diva,” he liked to joke. that was his nickname for you, diva. he thought that maybe you’d pick up on his flirting if he started calling you names like diva, and princess. you payed no mind to him, because you thought he was making fun of you. that he didn’t take you seriously, and that was frustrating, because, well, you had feelings for him. you weren’t entirely sure how he felt about you, though, and it was driving you insane. you’d convince yourself you would be okay without him, that if he didn’t like you back, you’d survive it. but then he would walk in to the trailer, holding your matcha, and calling you diva. you couldn’t push aside the euphoria that rushed through your body every time he called you that. you actually really enjoyed it, but tried to ignore that as the embarrassment of him making fun of you settled in.

tom was really cocky too, but you assumed that came with being an excellent actor, and being quite successful. you’d talk to your friends about him, because when were you not talking to him? when were you not thinking about him?

“he’s so cocky, maybe i don’t actually have feelings for him,” you’d explain. “he walks around calling me names, who does he think he is?”

your friends would groan, because they heard this everyday. they would go from “yeah he sucks” to “aw, you should tell him how you feel, you two would be so cute together.”

you just felt so stuck. you’d act in scenes with him, and would feel the connection, but as soon as the director yelled cut the connection would turn to a code that you couldn’t decipher. you really couldn’t figure him out.

he would abruptly open your trailer door, and yell, “hey princess, let’s get going they’re ready for us!”

you’d roll your eyes, but walk with him to set anyways, because you enjoyed his presence. you were friends, at this point. he would invite you to his place for game nights, and take you out to dinner during particularly hard days. he would show up to your place, unannounced, with a pack of truly’s- just cause. you would give him rides to set, and get him his favorite food when he’s filming. you tried not to think about how often he would send you the “you up?” text, because you didn’t want to convince yourself this was something, when there was a possibility it was nothing.

but, you really liked him. he was tom holland, your celebrity crush. the person you’d call when you’re sad. the person who you’d run scenes with for hours on end, and never get tired of being around him. the person who you could just look at, and feel safe. he was home to you, you just didn’t know he felt the same. so, when the electricity went out during a particularly bad storm in Atlanta, and you and tom were in the supplies closet alone, you weren’t exactly prepared for what was about to happen.

“you really ordered an iced matcha while there’s, like, a borderline hurricane happening outside?” tom exclaimed. he stared at you as you stood up, and grabbed the drink from his hand.

“yes, i really did,” you shot back. “what are you gonna do? call me a ‘diva’?” you smiled at him, and his eyes slowly moved down your body than back up to meet your eyes. yes, he really did just check you out, but you were sure you only imagined that in your head.

“i might,” tom replied, then sat in the chair next to you. “it’s still early, though. there’s time to catch up on the name-calling.”

“i’m looking forward to it,” you teased, rolling your eyes at him. sometimes pushing tom was fun. tom shot you a glare, and you smiled to yourself as you sat back down.

“weather is crazy, huh?” tom observed. “i’m not the biggest fan of big storms like this.”

you looked over at him, noticing the concern on his face.

“i think they’re fun, i absolutely love just sitting at the window, and watching rain,” you confessed. the two of you were looking at each other, the only noise was the rain outside the trailer. your heart was beating so hard, you were certain tom could hear it. just the two of you, alone in a trailer. nothing new, yet something felt wildly different this time. perhaps it was tom’s vulnerability due to the storm happening outside.

the feelings you were marinating in were disrupted by the trailer doors being opened, and the makeup artists walking in.

“so sorry we’re late, the storm is insane,” one of them apologized.

“no need to be sorry, tanya, we’re just glad you got here safely,” you replied. tom nodded his head in agreement, and they started to work their magic on the two of you. while in the makeup chair, you and tom decided at the beginning of filming that you would switch who plays the music every day. so, your day to play the music was today, and even though the two of you agreed on this, tom complained.

“why can’t i just play the music today? you always play the same songs,” he whined. you rolled your eyes at him, trying to ignore him.

“oh god not taylor swift again!” tom groaned. you loved that even though you were the one who was perceived as dramatic, tom was actually the diva.

“tom, shut up,” you said back. “you are so annoying when it comes to this shit.”

you looked over at him, and he was looking at you. his eyes sparkled in the light, and you felt your stomach flutter at the way he stared you down. you looked away, staring back down at your phone to try and recover.

a few moments passed, and the two of you were done with hair and makeup. now was the real challenge, getting to the set during the insane storm.

“where’s the umbrella, tom?” you asked while you looked around.

“i have no idea,” he answered. you looked up and glared at him.

“didn’t you bring it over here? i could’ve sworn you were holding one when we walked here twenty minutes ago,” you mocked. tom smiled.

“it’s right here, i’m just messing with you,” he replied.

“you’re so annoying,” you remarked.

you grabbed your script and the matcha, then made your way over, talking about the scenes you were shooting today. this was something the two of you did almost every day, you liked to rehearse your lines before getting on the stage. when the two of you arrived, you set down your script, but kept drinking your matcha as you and tom started blocking. this was something you did before every scene, and was what made your days so long. you had to work out every detail of the scene you’d be filming before actually filming it; which was time-consuming, and sometimes frustrating. you and tom were set up at a table for this scene, sitting across from one another.

“y/n, if you could just move your head more towards the right, we’d get a better shot,” the director called out. so you did, and in doing so, your hand moved with you, and knocked the matcha off the table.

“oh shit,” you said, looking back at the director with an apologetic face. “i’ll clean it up, don’t even worry!”

tom sat across from you, laughing at you as you scooped the ice off the ground, and put it back into your cup.

“that doesn’t sound good,” the director replied.

“no, don’t even worry! i’m totally cleaning this up, it’s gonna be spotless,” you breathed out. you were extremely worried, though. the green liquid covered the floor of the diner set that was built. tom eventually started helping you.

“this is ridiculous, y/n, you can’t scoop the liquid with your hands,” he observed. “let’s go get some paper towels, okay?”

you looked up at him with watery eyes, you were worried that you had just ruined a set that took a while to build.

“okay,” you agreed. the director walked up to the two of you, looking at the spilled drink then back at you.

“i’d think paper towels would be more helpful than your hands, y/n,” he joked. “don’t you think?”

you nodded, “yes, tom and i will be right back with those.”

you and tom walked in silence over to the supplies closet, where they kept the paper towels.

“so embarrassing,” you let out under your breath.

“what was that?” tom asked. he opened the door to the closet, and turned the light on. the closet was huge, so both of you went in to look for the paper towels.

“it’s so embarrassing, doing that in front of everyone,” you admitted. “i shouldn’t have had my drink there.”

tom scoffed, “oh please, we all bring our drinks with us when we’re blocking, anyone could’ve done that!”

you nodded in agreement, uncertain of your voice at the moment, so you opted to stay silent. the lights started flickering right as you found the paper towels.

“that was weird,” tom announced.

“yeah, that was weird,” you replied.

the lights flickered again, and within seconds you were in pitch black.

“wow,” you let out. “tom, where are you?”

“i’m right here,” he said. you laughed, because you thought it was a ridiculous answer. you put your arms out, and tried to walk towards him.

“do you have your phone? i need a flashlight,” you asked.

“no, i left it out there,” he replied.

“shit, me too,” you noted. “put your arms out, i can’t find you.”

“okay,” he said. you walked for a few seconds, then ran into him.

“there you are,” you commented.

“here i am,” he said. the two of you were standing so close, his hot breath was felt on your face. your eyes started to adjust to the darkness, and you could see his features now. you could see his lips. oh my god, you could almost feel his body against yours. you felt butterflies in your stomach as you realized just how close he was to you. you could just touch him, you thought. you could, you really could just grab his face, and kiss him. right here, right now.

“should we try looking for the door?” you asked out loud. the silence was killing you, you had to escape it. tom stood still, breathing harder with every second. “tom?”

“you talk too much, you know that?” he breathed out. you were so taken aback by that statement, your breath grew shaky. “every time i try to make a move, you talk. you just-you talk too much.”

you stood there, in the dark, in absolutely disbelief.

“oh,” you let out. you didn’t know what to do, you were frozen. your eyes were completely adjusted now, and you could see tom more clearly. his face, his arms, his hands, everything. his hands moved up your body, starting at your hips then making their way to your face. you brought your hands around his neck, you were breathing so hard you felt as if you could pass out.

“you are so beautiful, y/n,” he revealed. “so fucking beautiful.”

you smiled, although you weren’t sure he could see that. your hands moved to his face, you cupped his cheeks into your hands. tom moved his face closer to yours, cupping your cheeks as well. he placed his lips onto yours, then started to kiss you. like, really kiss you. not a cute, little peck that you would see in the movies. a rough, passionate kiss. the kiss you had been waiting for all this time. one of his hands dropped to your lower back, and he pushed your body onto his. your hands started to move under his shirt, as your tongues started to swirl together. your cheeks flushed as the warmth of his tongue and body encapsulated you. his hand moved off your cheek, and started to move under your shirt to take it off.

the door abruptly opened, and a bright flashlight made you and tom move your hands up to your face. your bodies broke apart, but the damage was done.

“tom, y/n, we need you back on set, they’re about to turn on the generator,” one of your costars said. “oh, don’t forget the paper towels.” they started laughing, as well as both you and tom.

the three of you walked back, and you wiped your mouth, then looked at tom. he smiled at you, then put his hand around your waist.

you leaned into him, then whispered, “we’ll have to finish that later.”

he shook his head in agreement, “okay, diva.”

taglist;

@zspideyy @lilhoodhippie @th45 @lmaotshollandd @hollandfanficlove 

[thefanficmonster]

Begone

Streamer Gang & Asexual Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Acephobia, Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently come out as asexual, Y/N faces some less than pleasant or appropriate responses in their chat during their stream with the gang. Luckily, they’re not alone in battling the haters this time.

Requested by the lovely Anon who told acephobes to begone, yeah you know who you are hehe. Thank you so much for the request darling! Let’s show these acehobes who they’re messing with! Love, Vy ❤

Boy is this nerve-wrecking or what? Sure, I maybe woke up with a ton of confidence, I listened to motivational and uplifting talks and listened to mood boosting music. I had a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee. Damn it, I went on a run, all in an attempt to convince myself that dealing with the online world again is but a piece of cake for a badass like me. Well, low and behold, that feeling didn’t last very long. Here I am, chewing my nails off at the though of hopping in the Discord call and Among Us lobby with my friends and starting my stream. It’s not like I’m not expecting my friends and fans to support me - of course I am! I know they’re gonna give me a ton of love and appreciation and support and uplift me no matter what. But then again, there’s still those people who believe me and other people like me to be invalid and broken and whatnot.

Those are the ones I wanna avoid. 

It’s not like their words mean much to me but I simply don’t wanna see em, you know? It’s not only about me - it’s least about me actually - it’s more about all those wonderful people they are insulting when they say shit like that about asexuals and all the people on the ace spectrum. I can’t help but flare up and get angry on the behalf of all my ace friends and even people I’ve never met.

It’s also my first time being directly thrown into the fire instead of getting caught in the crossfire seeing as how I came out to my fandom via a tweet and an Instagram post a week ago, telling my identity’s truth: finally bringing my asexuality to the surface to shine its brightest so I can be be my best and reach for my full potential.

But damn am I afraid to see how everyone took it. 

My friends were quick to jump in and take me offline before I start refreshing my own posts to see the comments under them. Lord knows that without them I would’ve driven myself insane, I’ll forever be grateful for what they did and the lengths they went to to keep me offline and whatnot. One word to give you an idea of how invested they were in this: origami. All of us might as well have been born with two left hands and yet we still tried doing origami. Freaking origami.

Damn do I love my friends.

But now I don’t have sheets of paper and my friends to distract me. I have a fanbase to entertain and another friend group I haven’t talked to in a while. I don’t wanna get any predictions in already so I don’t jinx myself, so I’m just gonna say it’s gonna be...interesting regardless of what happens.

Then again, when is it not interesting when the streamer gang’s involved.

Deep breaths, Y/N. You got this

Listening to that encouraging little voice inside my head, I finally equip my headphones and in one fluid motion turn my camera on, officially starting my stream and unmuting my mic as I hop in the call with everyone.

“Hi guys! Guess who’s returned!“ I exclaim cheerfully, desperate to hide the nervousness of my voice.

“You really missed your opportunity to say ‘guess who’s back...back again’ didn’t you?“ Charlie is the one who greets me first, sounding rather disappointed in me in his usual jokester manner. It’s nice to hear, it makes me feel like nothing’s changed in the week I’ve been gone. Like I’m still the same person to these people. I really am the same, I just now am a lot better version of myself. Almost as though I’ve reached my final form. It feels empowering really. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Charlie laughs again, “Congrats, by the way. You keep proving you can get cooler and cooler.“

“Careful there Charlie, I can only handle so large of an ego.“ I joke back, rolling my eyes playfully as a wide grin spreads across my face, “No, but seriously, thank you so much, man. It means the world to me that you support me.“

“Um, how could we NOT?“ That’s very clearly Rae, “Hun, you are so brave and amazing and wonderful, how could we ever NOT support you?“

“Yeah, we’ll always support you no matter what, Y/N. We’ll always be your friends, through thick, thin and beyond.“ Poki too interferes, her words only making my smile wider.

“Alright, alright, y’all are gonna make me cry and I haven’t even read my chat yet, hold on.“ I say, fanning my face to dry the tears I hope the webcam isn’t spotting, “Darn, you guys are the best. Sorry, give me a sec to gather my composure, I’ll be right back.“

I quickly mute my in-game mic as I turn to my chat where I see the same amount of love and support in the form of comments and emojis flooding in from my viewers. A warm feeling spreads throughout my chest, making me feel the most comfortable with myself I’ve ever felt. The most loved I’ve ever felt. The most seen and understood. To finally be you feels like you are finally really living in this world, not like you’ve been already living in it for God knows how long. It makes me so freaking happy and fulfilled to finally be living as me, as the real me.

Unfortunately, in life, nothing can be 100% pure and good. There’s always at least 1% there threatening to ruin all your happiness you worked so hard to build or obtain. It may be one in a hundred, but fuck it’s powerful and effective.

And in my case it comes in the form of two comments that stick out to my eyes. Acephobic comments saying my identity’s fake, claiming I’m faking it, saying us acephobes are immature creatures who refuse to grow up, or attention whores. Or just saying we’re delusional and in denial, confused about who we are.

I hadn’t even realized I was clenching my jaw and fists but when I do, I slowly relax my muscles and crack my knuckles before addressing the two people who spat out that nonsense.

“Ok, listen here, shooterpro69 and yourmom_lol. For starters, I want to apologize for your ignorance and lack of education on the matter of asexuality. In fact, for you especially, I plan on making an educational video, explaining asexuality to people who need or want to learn more. You, my friends, are in desperate need to be fed some knowledge cause damn, God knows how many people secretly think you’re hella stupid. Not that they’re wrong to think so but anyway. Unless you have anything nice or positive to say, begone from my chat. Actually, when I think about it, begone from every chat. No one needs you polluting their communities with acephobia and hate.“ I say, all spoken in a calm tone despite the boiling anger within me. People who know me well would probably be able to tell I’m fuming underneath the calm façade, but at least I got my message across loud and clear.

“WOO HOO, You tell em Y/N!“ Toast cheers, clapping his hands and whistling as more cheering arises from each my friends, leaving me in a state of mild shock and confusion.

Wait, what?!

“Um, wait, you guys heard that?“ I ask, my eyes darting to thein-game mic symbol that shows an not crossed-off mic, meaning it was enabled during the entirety of my speech.

“Hell yeah we did! You slayed them, Y/N! Damn goddamn!“ Rae whistles too, her enthusiasm wafting over me like a breath of fresh air.

“I second that!“ Corpse joins in, “And remember what we said - we’ll support you through anything. Need to bury an acephobe’s body, we’re the people you should call.” He says, confident as heck.

And I just can’t hold it in anymore - I burst out laughing, doubling over from the intensity.

If I thought I was happy and fulfilled before, this has to be the closest to paradise I’m gonna get on Earth.  All thanks to these wonderful people. Friends are really something else aren’t they: they come into your life - often unexpectedly - and change it completely. Suddenly you’re not alone, you’re not forced to deal with everything and face everything on your own. Someone’s got your back and you’ve got theirs.

Through thick, thin and beyond.

And it’s so fucking amazing.

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