#anyway. do you ever think about how the final loop has an optional scene where siffrin harms themselves without any excuse or

[eldragon-x]

revolutionary girl utena 🤝 in stars and time

some of my favorite pieces of media that deal with heavy subjects which I objectively believe are worth talking about, however sometimes a part of my brain goes "oh I cannot talk about this on my tumblr blog"

[greenhappyseed]

BnHA 322 - Parallels and comparisons

Not gonna lie — the first part of this arc was really rough. Luckily, from 317 onwards we’ve had some jaw dropping, beautiful moments. This chapter came on strong with ALL the feels and ALL the imagery. (I’m not going to post those images because they really need to be read fully in context.) Bakugo and Izuku as their elementary/middle/high school selves, standing on puddles of water instead of submerged in a river, Bakugo bowing to Izuku and addressing him by his real name, Bakugo essentially telling Izuku that he is — and always has been — a hero, Bakugo racing to catch Izuku with both arms when he falls, Bakugo’s war injury bleeding as he “reopens” his childhood wound.

Here’s the most impressive part to me: Bakugo courageously lays it all bare in front of the class without demanding that they “watch him” or be his audience. He no longer cares about being vulnerable in front of them, so if they happen to be there it’s fine, but he’s not apologizing FOR them or FOR him — it’s something he has to do for Izuku. Bakugo may still have his eyes set on surpassing All Might, but damn if he didn’t just surpass Enji. And Shoto fucking knows it.

After such intensity from Bakugo, I highkey love that we DON’T get an immediate reaction from Izuku. Instead, Izuku is inspired to offer his own mea culpa. (As always, Izuku looks up to and imitates Bakugo before thinking about himself.) The class just watched Bakugo apologize for his worst, and now they’ll watch Izuku apologize for HIS worst. I mean, Izuku said, OUT LOUD, the exact thing DvK2!Bakugo accused him of — looking down on others. If Bakugo can get past his bullshit and recognize Izuku’s heroism, Izuku can apologize for hurting his classmates and recognize their heroism. With everything out in the open, Bakugo and Izuku are no longer “proper rivals,” but TEAMMATES. There’s still a long way to go until they’re effective as a team with the rest of the class, but this is where the unity of the team begins. Kamino, the exact place where All Might ended, is now this team’s starting line, as Momo points out.

It’s also good to see the story acknowledge, again, that Izuku isn’t dark or edgy. He IS still the same sweet kid but AFO had him trapped in a loop. He was scared out of his mind that people would get hurt because of him and because of that he couldn’t think of a strategy to find and defeat AFO, but if he accepted help from others to come up with a strategy, then they could get hurt because of him… and around we go. This is the true terror of AFO, leaving no options for a zero-risk victory.

Next we jump to an unrecognizable UA fortified with most intense wall since Game of Thrones (because that wall was so good at keeping out the White Walkers /s). Look, we all know it’s gonna fail, but in the meantime I very much enjoy rat principal building an elaborate cage for his humans.

Also, sounds like we’ll soon see Shiketsu (Inasa! Camie! Hair dude! Meatball dude!) but no Ketsubutsu (Ms. Joke, Shindo, turtle girl). I still want to see Ms. Joke in the aftermath of the war, but I accept it’s probably not gonna happen.

It wasn’t clear from the text leaks, but looking at the images of the full chapter, it does seem Ochako’s going to try and confront the angry mob, which makes my brain think of scenes like this:

Which is to say, I have concerns this will go well. Yes, I know BNHA is a shonen, so the teens will change the world. But even within the BNHA world, suspension of disbelief is required when Present Mic, a popular radio host and pro hero who arrested Dr. Ujiko, is getting shit from the crowd. Of course, “heroes” as a group are at fault for the war, and Mic struggled with the media the last time UA was breached.

(But Mic does take a gentler approach with civilians vs the media.)

If civilians are in such a frenzy that they’re angry at Mic (who DID succeed at something notable during the war raid) and Deku (a child who fought in the war and has been rounding up Tartarus-level jail breakers ever since), then Ochako needs to BRING IT like it’s never been broughten before to make a difference. While she’s never had a major media stumble, and she’s adorable AF, giving inspirational speeches and rallying the class has never been her strength. If she suddenly blinds the crowd with brilliant oratory, it’s a bit of an ass pull for her character. Jiro and Momo have more depth in this space, though Momo’s elite background may not help in this particular situation. Ochako’s become much better at working the bureaucracy, from the entrance exam where she asked Present Mic to give her points to Izuku, to appealing to Nezu in order to bring Endeavor to UA for a confrontation about Deku.

If a crowd speech really is in store for us, then I’d love for it to involve All Might and/or Stain somehow. Both of them have incredible charisma and can inspire civilians to action. And I’ve written before about All Might’s media whoring [affectionate] being its own super power that the pro heroes are ignoring. Nobody in this arc (including Deku) has used All Might as a resource based on his decades of experience with the media OR with AFO. Why is everyone acting like All Might is useless because he’s quirkless and no longer a ranked hero? He's still got his brain and his memories. Does a "hero" need to wear a costume or hold a license to use their brain? As Kirishima says in this chapter:

Or maybe Aizawa will finally appear to defend his problem child, just like he defended Bakugo previously? (Admittedly, my solution for everything rn is “Aizawa” because I’m dying to see him.)

Anyway….I love that Ochako was inspired by Bakugo. Her face before/during/after the apology is amazing. You can watch her recognize his courage in real time and build on it, like links in a chain. Like a power that grows as each person contributes…….huh…….

Also, I think Izuku needs to hear Ochako talk openly about helping the heroes who protect the citizens. He doesn’t really understand her style of heroism yet, and he needs to see the strength of her ideals —especially the power of saving and rescuing — before he sets off to save Shigaraki. She also needs to tell him what happened to her in the war aftermath, because he doesn’t know any of it. How she fought Toga and how Toga cried. How she watched other heroes quit, and how she’s inspired to help heroes who are in pain. It would be great to see Ochako and Izuku bond over a shared desire to save heroes AND villains who are in pain.

Finally, I want to appreciate the Izuku-Iida-Kirishima trio for one more moment. In this chapter, Kirishima skids to a halt catching Izuku, just as he caught Bakugo for the initial escape from Kamino. In both instances, Kirishima’s understated but steady and unbreakable commitment to his friends was CLUTCH. So, so good!

[jaalismyhusband]

Took you long enough

Title: Took you long enough

Pairings: Sebastian Stan x f!reader

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, explicit language, age gap, corruption kink if you squint

Wordcount: 2.9k

Masterlist

To say that these past few months have been stressful is an understatement. You were an aspiring actress and somehow landed a pretty big role in a movie. It already had some famous names attached to it and you were quite intimidated to star along the other actors. But nonetheless, you put on your big girl pants and took the opportunity. Caught in a loop of constant stress, memorizing the lines, filming the scenes, promoting the movie, you had only so much time to really appreciate what was going on. It was only after the first month of filming you realized what the hell was actually happening.

Your co-star Sebastian Stan has helped you a lot with handling everything. You remember, when you found out he was starring in the movie as well, you almost passed out. Getting to know him was such a surreal experience. Although you had a big crush on him, you stayed respectful towards him and you two became rather close friends.

To be honest, the more you got to know him, the more you liked him. And this time it wasn’t just a platonic crush. You tried to fight it, but your struggles were fruitless. You had it bad for your best friend. Acting on your feelings was not an option however. It was no secret that no woman occupied his bedroom for more than one night. You knew it was bad news to fall for him, yet you couldn’t help yourself. You liked how he didn’t pretend, but actually listened to you. How he seemed to remember even the little details you mentioned to him. How protective he was of you from the day you met, especially while defending you when people called you “the new kid” - the nickname stuck with you during the whole period of filming, much to your dislike. You knew they meant well when they called you that nickname, trying to make you feel like a part of the group. You were much younger than most of the cast, but you didn’t think of yourself as a child anymore. It seemed impossible to convince others of that, though.

Only a few people respected you enough not to use that nickname - one of them being Sebastian. At times you thought he didn’t see you as a kid with the way he treated you and you were naïve enough to get your hopes up. That was a mistake, you thought, as you watched the interview Sebastian had done earlier that day. He was asked about the cast members. You anxiously waited for your name to be mentioned, palms sweating as you guessed what he would say about you.

“What about Y/N? You seem close, not to mention how often you are spotted together.” The interviewer raised his brow, as he waited for an answer.

Sebastian smiled widely as he answered: “Yeah, we are really close. She’s like a little sister I never had, you know?”

Your heart clenched painfully, as you stopped the video. You just had to accept that it would never work. How could you be so stupid to think he’d actually like you, when he had so many women at his feet, begging to be noticed by him. You were thankful you were his friend - that had to be enough. It wasn’t, though. No matter what you told yourself, you always ended up thinking about him in inappropriate ways.

The door on your trailer opened and revealed happy Sebastian with take out.

“Hey, I thought to bring you some food, since it’s going to be a long day today.” He smiled at you as he sat down next to you on the couch, handing you your food.

“Thanks.” You smiled back. You didn’t waste time and dug in, only now realizing how hungry you were. He seemed to know you better than you knew yourself.

Sebastian broke the comfortable silence: “Hey, so, I want to ask you for advice.” Did he seem nervous? No, you thought as you hinted him to ask away.

“There’s this woman, that I like. I shouldn’t, but something about her is so intriguing, I can’t help it. And I don’t know what to do,” he confessed.

“I can’t believe you are asking me for an advice on how to pick up women. You getting rusty, old man?” You joked, as his face fell in disappointment.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I think I’m ready to go all the way with her. But she’s not really – uhm, how to put it – available. That’s why I’m so nervous about it,” he sighed, as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Right, sorry. But still, I think you’re perfectly fine. Just ask her out. She’d be stupid to reject you,” you spoke sincerely.

“Thanks, I’ll go for it then.”

The rest of the lunch was enjoyed in silence.

Few days have passed and your mood seem to only decrease as the time went on. You secretly hoped Sebastian was talking about you and that he would ask you out later. But this was your life, not a romcom. Your hopes were crushed, when you asked Sebastian about it and he confirmed what seemed like your worst nightmare.

“She said yes!” he exclaimed excitedly and you gave him a hug to hide the mixture of unpleasant emotions plastered on your face.

“I’m so happy for you,” and you were, truly. As long as he was happy, you would be too. But why did it hurt so much anyway?

Ever since then, you just weren’t your ever smiling self. What you were was a millennial and you did what millennials knew best – repressed your emotions. Stuffed them deep inside your soul where nobody could acknowledge them, not even you.

The days seemed repetitive. You were exhausted from putting up a show not only when you were filming, but now also when you were in a company of your friends. Luckily, there was only one scene to film and then a much needed vacation awaited.

“CUT!” screamed the director. “What the hell Y/N?! This is the seventh take and you still can’t get it right.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I’ll get it this time, I swear,” you apologized and immediately took your spot, wanting nothing more, than to finish this scene, go home and curl up in bed while watching your favourite show.

Today was just one of those days, when it seemed like the whole universe conspired against you. First, your alarm didn’t go off, which resulted in being late on your last day. Your hands were shaking by the time you got to the set and you managed to knock over the cup of coffee, just barely missing your costume. Not to mention how anxious you were, since you were purposely avoiding Sebastian. You only missed him more and yet, you couldn’t stand being in his presence. It hurt not being able to look into his eyes. This all held you back from giving a flawless performance in front of the camera, which only frustrated you even more.

“We believe in you, kid. Breathe, focus. Action!” You were truly thankful for the support, as you finally got the scene right.

“And cut! We got it! Ok, that’s it, guys. It’s been pleasure to work with you all. As you may have heard, there will be an afterparty, if you will, tonight. Please, do come! Till then have a great day everyone!” Finished the director and people started to clap. There has been a heavy boulder of a rock lifted from your shoulders as you realized this was it. You quickly said your goodbyes to everyone, eager to go home and hide.

“Y/N! Wait!” you were on your way out when you heard your name being called. You sighed and put on a smile, before you faced Sebastian.

“Hi, I’ve tried to call you, but you weren’t picking up. You’ve been distant lately. Have you been avoiding me?” He accused.

“No! No, I uh… My phone has been malfunctioning these days, I’m getting it repaired soon,” you weren’t proud of yourself for lying to him, but you weren’t ready to tell him the truth just yet.

“Are you coming to the afterparty?” It was obvious he didn’t buy your white lie, but decided not to ponder on it.

“Oh, I don’t think I am. I’ve had an extraordinarily shitty day and I don’t wanna be a party pooper.” You immediately gave him a list of excuses.

“Yeah, yeah, quit it, queen. I’ll pick you up at 7.” He left you no space to argue and just walked away. You shook your head in disbelief and made your way home.

“Finally,” you exhaled a big breath once you collapsed on your bed. Sleep was an alluring way how to avoid your problems. So, you did the reasonable thing and took a nap.

You woke up right as the sun was setting. You still hadn’t decided if you were going to go to that stupid get together or not. You knew it would be a nice change of pace, to let go for one night. Afterall, it was a celebration of the hard work the cast had done. On the other hand, Sebastian would be there. And now that you thought about it, he would probably bring that woman, he asked out earlier. You weren’t ready to see Sebastian all lovey dovey with someone else, god no.

But this was also the chance to see him for the last time. You weren’t sure if he would keep hanging out with you after the movie was done. Tears stung in your eyes as you realized that he would probably cut ties with you. Sure, you would call each other once a week, then once a month, then only on holidays and then he would eventually stop calling you whatsoever. You were going to lose him. You were so sure of it. The tears were now streaming freely down your cheeks as you hyperventilated. All of those emotions that were supposed to stay stored away came at you at once, demanding to be experienced, to be felt.

You couldn’t calm down and there was only one person who was able to soothe you. Your best friend from high school. Due to your career you two weren’t hanging out as often as you’d like, but your bond hadn’t suffered because of that. You dialled her number after you blew your nose, so you were able to somewhat form words.

“Hi, Y/N! Oh my god, it’s been so long since we’ve actually talked!” You sobbed even harder when you heard her enthusiastic voice.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” she pleaded, as you tried to calm yourself enough to talk.

“Today has just been such a shitshow,” you cried out. You told her all about your day, but the topic soon enough changed to the real reason why you were crying – Sebastian.

“You know what’s the worst thing? I love him. So fucking much. And I know he doesn’t feel the same. He sees me as his little sister. SISTER. No way he would be attracted to someone he considers a sibling. Oh, and have I mentioned that now he’s suddenly had a change of heart and stopped sleeping with random women because he mEt SoMEoNe sPeCiaL?” you mocked him, “I just can’t. I know that I did this to myself and it’s not his fault, but fuck! I can’t even tell him how I feel, because there is only one scenario to this – him ending our friendship because of it. I don’t know if I’m ready to lose him completely.” You kept on rambling as your supportive friend listened, offering you her kind words here and there.

Soon after she apologized profusely, as she explained her break was over and she had to get back to work. You assured her it was okay and that you were thankful she found some time to listen to you pour you broken heart out through the phone. She ended the call by reminding you that she loved you and hung up.

You sighed and blew your nose again. You stood up from your bed, taking the used tissues with you.

“Fuck.” You stopped dead in your tracks, feeling like a deer in front of a headlights. There stood a very shocked Sebastian.

“How did you get here?”

“I came to pick you up, remember? Front door was unlocked, so I let myself in. You didn’t respond when I called your name. I looked for you and found you here, crying,” his voice cracked at his last words: “I have never seen you cry before.” He seemed truly sad, but you were too frightened to notice.

“How much of it did you hear?”

“Everything.” He exhaled and you struggled to meet his gaze. You huffed, storming out of your bedroom, leaving him behind. You just wanted to disappear right on the spot and avoid this confrontation.

You almost ran to the kitchen, throwing the tissues to the bin. You hoped this was all just a bad dream and that in fact Sebastian wasn’t here, but all that convincing was futile once you turned around and saw him sitting in your kitchen. There was a tense silence, as none of you knew what to say next. The air grew heavy, suffocating you.

“So,” Sebastian cleared his throat, “you like me?” To which you only nodded, as you leaned on the counter.

“Why?” he asked. You laughed at that, the sound so alien to you because of all the crying.

“You were nice to me from the first day. You gave me a chance to get to know you. Once we started hanging out I just, I don’t know. I like how you talked to me, like I wasn’t just the new kid. You actually listened to what I had to say. You made me feel special, Seb. Not to mention, you look like a fucking Greek god,” he chuckled at that.

“Weren’t you discouraged by my age? Or the fact that ‘I slept with random women’?” he asked, using your words against you.

“Well, I can’t blame you for that. And I can’t blame those women either. And your age never bothered me. In fact, it’s just another thing about you that turns me on.” You realized too late what you were about to say and just said it. Your eyes widened and your face heated up, as you tried to shrink your existence and hide from Sebastian’s piercing gaze.

“I turn you on?” Sebastian asked, amused by how embarrassed you were. He stood up and walked up to you. You shied away, but he trapped you in between his arms against the counter, so you wouldn’t run.

“I’d like your advice on something,” he started as he looked you straight in the eyes, “There’s this girl I’ve befriended. She’s really young and innocent, like an angel. I think I liked her right from the start, but I knew I wasn’t good for her. And yet, I can’t help but be attracted to her. I’ve tried to forget, but all those meaningless nights and faceless women couldn’t fill the void. Couldn’t erase the feelings she brought up in me every time I thought of her, saw her, touched her. I think about her almost every night. About how I’d hold her, kiss her, make her moan my name.” You squirmed under his gaze, but he paid no mind as he continued his monologue: “I fantasize about deflowering her, turning her into a mess, while I transform her into my greedy whore. The image makes me painfully hard. And now, I have a chance to make her mine. What do you say, doll? Should I go for it?” You gasped at his confession and only weakly nodded.

His lips met yours in a desperate kiss. It was all tongue and teeth. He wasn’t gentle with you by any means, not that you wanted him to be. His hands pulled you impossibly close, as they squeezed your ass, making you moan into the kiss. You both had to stop and take a breath, your foreheads connecting as you panted.

“I made her up, you know,” spoke Sebastian softly.

“What?”

“The woman. She doesn’t exist. It was you who I’ve been talking about, but then I chickened out.”

“Why?” you were curious and anxious at the same time to hear his answer.

“You called me an old man! I thought you would be creeped out!” he got defensive.

“That was a joke, Seb,” you laughed, “Why did you tell me that she accepted?”

He awkwardly scratched his neck, as he mumbled: “I didn’t want to disappoint you, that your advice hadn’t worked.” You just burst out laughing at that. Sebastian didn’t like that, as he faked getting offended and hurt, which only caused to make you cry-laugh. You finally calmed down, after a while, only now seeing how Sebastian was watching you the whole time. He gently wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb, as he held your face.

“I love you, Seb,” it felt good to finally say it out loud. You were absolutely lovestruck and at this point you didn’t care.

“Took you long enough,” you rolled your eyes at him, as he smirked.

“I love you too, doll.”

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep14

Do you ever wanna just watch two little girls who are actually 100+ year old witches beat the absolute SHIT out of each other for 20 minutes straight? :)

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Plus Umineko spoilers.

Part of this might just be because I’ve been high on painkillers for a few weeks now [long story short, I’ve got a lot of dental work that needs done], but this is perhaps the most entertaining episode of anime I’ve seen all year, lol. Not even in a jokey ironic ‘so bad it’s good’ way.

I feel like this is going to be the most polarizing episode of this whole show, because for better or worse it really crosses the line between Higurashi and Umineko, so whether or not you’re a fan of that whole trajectory the story’s been taking will really change how you feel about this.

Though to be honest I think on one level people are ignoring how Higurashi has always had a lot of these things in it. For one thing, the concept of the fragment space and ‘game boards’ has been a thing since Minagoroshi, and we’ve always had stuff like Hanyuu being a literal god who can manifest in the real world, and the existence of the mythical sword was hinted at in Matsuribayashi and then expanded upon in Kotohogushi. This episode also directly referenced the over the top rooftop fight scene from Tsumihoroboshi, which was just the start of Higurashi having lots of fun and silly fight scenes, like the fights between the club members and the military in Matsuribayashi, or the whole fighting game spin-off arc thing. Even in the VN there was an intentional shift from horror and mystery to high-octane fight scenes fueled by the power of friendship and miracles.

Obviously on the other hand there’s definite Umineko stuff going on here, but in general this feels like a pretty natural progression for this series to take.

Anyway, this was absolutely worth the wait, and it goes a long way toward making up for how bad the pacing in Sotsu has been thus far, lol. I still think they could have cut this down by at least two or three episodes, but still. As a climax to this whole conflict between Rika and Satoko, it was really cool.

Sort of like how Nekodamashi had it’s rollercoaster death montage, I really loved how this whole episode transitioned between fragments in increasingly seamless and surreal ways. The use of transition cuts between scenes was honestly really cool, and made it way more dynamic and engaging than it otherwise would have been to basically have an entire episode spent on one fight scene.

I think a lot of people are hung up on the exact logistics of how the fragment-hopping worked in this episode, but I don’t really think you should read into it too much. It basically operated on dream logic and heightened emotions. In the first few fragments Satoko might have waited a bit before attacking Rika, but it very quickly became one continuous sequence of events for all intents and purposes, with how their back and forth dialogue and their exact movements transitioned from one fragment to the next.

Basically it ended up becoming a fight between voyager witches who have become totally divorced from reality and just hop from one fragment to the next whenever they please.

I was wondering how they’d follow up on the gun scene, since it created this stalemate where they both know what’s going on and thus have no reason to surrender, but I really like how they decided to take this. I know a lot of people have been wanting more of a drawn out battle of wits between them, but the whole concept of them just getting into an endless fight with each other now that everything’s out in the open is extremely entertaining to watch.

It does make me even more convinced that it was a bad idea to have Nekodamashi happen in Gou, though. The immediate resolution to the cliffhanger was more anti-climactic than most people would have wanted after so much time spent leading back up to it, and the whole tone and pacing of Nekodamashi would have flowed very seamlessly into this. It also would have fixed the issue of the last two episodes being almost entirely recaps if this was instead the first time that we saw the Nekodamashi loops.

Anyway, there’s been a lot of debate about whether or not we might get a third season or some other kind of continuation to this, and I think this episode makes me way more convinced that it’s actually just going to end here, whether people like it or not. I think I’ve already said that there’s literally nothing the story needs to do anymore except have Rika and Satoko hash things out with each other, and that’s exactly what they’re focusing on now. Maybe they could spend time recapping Satokowashi, but that’d be extremely pointless. And at this point it’s pretty clear that one way or another the other club members just aren’t going to be very important to this story. There’s a bit of a loose end with their teenage selves showing up in the OP with new outfits, but that might be as simple as an epilogue scene set back in the Matsuribayashi fragment or something, and them looking ominous might be a red herring.

Also, in a more meta sense, there’s certain stuff the staff are doing and saying that make this seem like the finale of the whole series, like how in a couple months they’re going to release a congratulatory book compiling all the official artwork and interviews for Gou/Sotsu, or how they recently released a compilation CD of all of Ayane’s Higurashi-related songs, or how [I think] the artist for the Gou manga said on Twitter that the new chapter that just came out will be the last one to come out while the anime’s airing. We’re also getting two new Higurashi manga arcs starting soon, along with the reveal that the Gou manga will diverge from the anime and go into a new answer arc called Higurashi Jun.

So in general it just comes across like everything’s being wrapped up with Sotsu. I can see why people would be disappointed if we don’t get more, but with how the story’s been going, there’s just not really much material left to work with. Also, we know from TV listings that there at least won’t be a direct continuation in the next season, so if we get anything more it wouldn’t happen until January at earliest, and at this point I’d rather things just wrap up here instead of having to wait even longer to get the actual ending, lol.

I guess we won’t know how things will end until next week, but we really seem to be barrelling headfirst into this being Bern and Lambda’s origin story. Which has been pretty obvious for ages now, but this episode in particular really cements it. This whole fight is really similar to the one they have in Episode 8, and you can see throughout the episode how they’re embracing their looper/witch personas and becoming divorced from reality. You can even see the foundation for how Bern and Lambda have a twisted love for each other based on the fact that they’re basically the only people who can actually understand each other, and they’re so detached from reality that the violence between them is more like a sign of affection.

I feel like this is also going to end up tying into the miracle that Hanyuu is waiting for. At the moment we’re in a situation where it seems like they’re stuck in an infinite stalemate because they’re in a fight where neither of them wants to lose, but neither of them wants to win if it means permanently killing the other. So it seems like there might not really be any way out of this, but if they’re able to truly forgive each other and embrace their identities as witches, then they can basically step away from this entire conflict and just enjoy being with each other. It seems impossible for this to end with either of them ‘winning’ and things going back to how they used to be, so it could certainly be called a miracle if they both decide that they’re OK with that, and they take a third option where they can both be happy in a way that neither of them would have predicted at first.

This could also lead to a situation where Rika is able to ascend to a higher level by letting go of her human side once and for all, which could give her the ability to appear in the part of the fragment space where Eua and Hanyuu are, so she can save Hanyuu from getting killed by Eua’s spear.

And on that note, the whole bit with Hanyuu at the end actually reminds me a lot of the idea of logic errors in Umineko. I think people kinda over-use that term when it comes to stuff in this series where it doesn’t really fit, but that scene was actually extremely similar to the whole set-up where Battler got stuck in a locked room that he couldn’t come up with an answer to get out of, and he had to wait for the ‘miracle’ of Beatrice awakening so that Kanon could arrive and save him. Hanyuu is in a position where she’s already committed to flying straight at Eua, but the spear is right in front of her face and about to kill her once time starts again, and she has to wait for a ‘miracle’ to happen to change her fate. Which is also a lot like how in Matsuribayashi she almost got shot by Takano, but a miracle happened and Rika was able to divert the bullet. So it’d make a lot of sense in general if in the next episode we see Rika show up there and save Hanyuu.

And considering how Featherine acts in Umineko, I could honestly see Eua sticking to her word and rewarding Hanyuu if a miracle like that actually happens and saves her. So even if it’s anti-climactic, this might end with Eua accepting her loss and backing off, and maybe not even doing anything to punish Satoko for losing in her fight against Rika. Which is part of why I think the whole lingering threat of the ‘world without Rika’ might not even lead to anything and might just be a vague threat towards Satoko that never materializes.

Other than that, I think the last episode will probably also involve us going back to Matsuribayashi and seeing what sort of ending Rika and Satoko’s ‘human selves’ get once their ‘witch selves’ leave them behind once and for all. Which will probably just be along the lines of Rika going to the Saiguden to check up on Satoko, and them heading over to the cafe where the other club members [and probably Satoshi as well] are waiting for them, and it’ll just end on the note of them presumably working things out between each other peacefully.

Along those same lines, I think that the whole story of Gou/Sotsu will also get somewhat recontextualized as being a sort of deranged power fantasy that Satoko came up with in her head while visiting the Saiguden. I don’t think that’d be intended to devalue anything that happened here, but it’d be like how Umineko presents enough narrative framework for a non-magical interpretation of everything, while at the same time still acknowledging the value of the magical interpretation.

While I remember, I’m curious to see how the manga version turns out, since it’s clearly diverging a fair bit from the anime. It might just be an alternate take on the story concept, but at this point I think it might be presented as an ‘earlier loop’ of Gou/Sotsu, with how it’s been implied that Eua and Satoko have met before without Satoko remembering it. So maybe this whole series of events has repeated over and over again, presumably with Satoko ‘losing’ each time so things get reset, and Gou/Sotsu is the final iteration of that loop where they’re finally able to achieve a miracle.

I feel like the manga version is probably gonna end up being closer to what people wanted out of Sotsu, since it seems to be going in the direction of Rika knowing everything without Satoko knowing that, so they can have more of a drawn out conflict between each other as Rika tries to figure out how to win. Which is one way to take the story, but I still like how the anime ended up doing it, even if it could have been paced a lot better. I also think that the manga isn’t exactly a straight improvement over the anime anyway. There’s stuff it does well, but there’s stuff it doesn’t do well, like how the whole Nekodamashi arc feels extremely weird in the context of Rika not remembering her deaths [or at least not being given a clear reason for why she can suddenly remember them], her not deciding to go for five more loops before killing herself, and Satoko apparently not having any idea about Rika remembering her deaths, which seems to defeat the point of Nekodamashi’s rapid-fire death loops.

Either way I’m curious to see how Jun goes. I assume that we’ll still get some version of Satokowashi out of it, but I think that unlike with Sotsu they’ll spend much less time on answering the damashi arcs, and I also think at this point that the answers to them won’t be exactly the same as they were in the anime either.

Also, we recently found out that two entirely new Higurashi manga arcs will start in November, called Oniokoshi and Hoshiwatashi, which seem to be collectively referred to as Higurashi Rei, using the kanji from ‘the Reiwa era’, since it seems like the idea of these new arcs is that they take place in the Reiwa era. Oniokoshi seems to be about Keiichi’s son and a new mysterious character, while Hoshiwatashi seems to be about two entirely new characters, so I’m really curious to see how their stories pan out. I’m particularly excited about Oniokoshi since it’s being drawn by Natsumi Kei, who’s basically the primary artist for the Umineko manga, so that kinda makes me biased towards it, lol. And even though there’s basically nothing to go off of except for one preview image, it looks like it might go in a bit of a gay direction, which would be really neat. But we’ll see how it goes.

So yeah, I guess at this point with where things are going I’m gonna be really disappointed if we don’t get something like an Umineko remake after this, lol. It wouldn’t be very satisfying if it just ends on the note of ‘go and read the Umineko VN’ or something.

[ink-and-flame]

Kinktober Day 1: Intensity Shattered

Kinktober Day 1 Prompts: Throat Fucking ~ Pain (mild) ~ Suspension (horizontal)

Fandom: Original

Tags: exophilia, angst & porn, throat fucking, pain, bondage, suspension, scissoring (f/f), hurt/no comfort, hurt/comfort (kind of a mixed bag here between scenes)

Pairing:  Orc(m)/Human(f), ?M/HumanF, HumanM/HumanF, HumanF/HumanF | Darnok/Lia, Lucien/Ember, Zane/Lia, Ember/Lia 

[Author’s Note: It has been a long time since I have written anything and I felt the need to finish out this portion of the story. While this was intended to be part of kinktober 2020, I never got to it in time. This is where things start to go a bit pearshapped, though not nearly as dark as I had originally intended, things will get worse before they get better. I revamped the whole last few parts of this because the original prompts from 2020 were too dark and so this is not the way I had originally outlined the last few parts of this story to go.]

It had been some time before Lia could go back to the club. The last scene, though intensely hot, had almost landed her in the hospital. The medics had to be called when she didn’t regain consciousness after a few moments and her throat was in a sorry state. It was recommended, strongly, that she take some time off to heal. The owners did not want to be held responsible if further injury occurred and of course she understood. 

Darnok had felt terrible, both he and Gorvaal were nothing but apologetic about the situation. It was something unexpected, and Lia couldn’t be mad. She had plenty of experience and practice and she wasn’t sure what made this time different, but it was and she needed time to heal. She reassured both orcs that she was fine and not angry, as best she could without a fully functioning voice, and she could see the guilt in Dar’s eyes when they were finally alone. 

As much as Lia had done her best to reassure him, something inside of her twisted and pinched a bit. She kept thinking that she had forgotten something important and for some reason Gorvaal had made that feeling stronger. It nagged at her and kept popping up in the back of her head any moment she had down time. 

With forced time off from the club, Lia couldn’t see Dar. They only ever met at the club, and only used the hotel afterwards. If he was going to the club without her, she had no way of really knowing unless she asked Ember, something that felt a little too close to spying if she thought about that hard enough. That didn’t make it hurt any less, and had Lia in a bit of a funk while she healed.

The more time that passed the more that nagging feeling got stronger until she was on her computer and going through her history. She had found some shoes and a nice bag she wanted to get but for the life of her could not remember where she saw them. As she dug around in her history, Lia found the searches for Taledras. Against her better judgement, Lia reopened them and did a little more searching.  The more information she found the more her heart sank. The woman from before was Ariana Taledras, the youngest daughter of a wealthy and powerful fae family. There was a full page article about her engagement party, how it was the event of the year, not to be missed. 

Darnok was engaged. 

Tears streaked paths down Lia’s cheeks. She had always know, inside, that something was off. She just didn’t know what it was. Now she did. There was no way to know how long Dar had been with this woman, but their engagement was going to be formalized in less than a year. Lia felt gutted and was thankful for the time away from both the club and work. She was in no condition to do much more than cry and desperately try to comfort herself. 

Crawling into bed Lia sobbed into her pillow, deep heaving sobs, as her heart fully broke. There was a  sharpness to the pain she felt as her sobs shook her body. She screamed into the pillow until her voice completely gave out. All the healing, undone in a moment. The edges of her vision had pinpricks of light, spots of dark, as she cried hard enough to give herself a pounding headache. At some point she simply exhausted herself to the point of sleep.

Lia was wrapped in a blanket on her couch when there was a knock on the door. She ignored it, as she had been ignoring everything for days. However, this knock was insistent and not going away. With a groan Lia got up and went to her door, opening it and seeing Ember standing there looking quite worried. 

“Man you look like shit!” 

“Thank you, I try” Lia quipped as she gestured for Ember to come in. She knew her friend well enough to know that the other woman was not going to leave. 

“So, what happened. I heard you got hurt, but that was a while ago, and you haven’t been answering your phone, or texts, or DMs, or even email. Like, nothing.” Ember sat on the couch next to Lia looking at her friend with concern.

“He’s engaged.”

Ember just looked confused. “What? Who again?”

“Darnok. He is engaged. I saw the article about the party they are throwing next year to make it official, or I don’t know, it's some next step thing. I couldn’t finish the article.” Lia was crying again. This time silently. 

“Shit, fuck, well damn thats. Fuck that is really shitty. Was this recent and he just hasn’t had a chance to tell you?” Ember already knew the answer but hoped she was wrong. 

“I suspected, for a while that he was in a relationship. There were things that made it not seem like it on occasion, and other times, I dunno, it just always was right there on the edge of my mind. Then at that event he ran, Gorvaal mentioned something about a Taledras. I looked it up, it isn’t a what like I originally thought, but a who. She is a rich, powerful, beautiful fae.” Lia hiccuped. “Honestly everything makes sense now. Why he never wanted to collar me, why he sometimes kept me at arms length. I mean she is beyond gorgeous, everything I could never be, I just can’t understand what he wanted with me. That is the only confusing part.”

Ember sighed and ran her hand through her hair as she tried to think logically and not immediately go to the club and make one hell of a scene. “Honestly, this isn’t uncommon among rich couples, from what I hear anyway. Often they will have side pieces and there are rules, but I always thought that was just in movies and books. I didn’t think it was something that actually happened.” Ember scooted closer putting an arm around Lia. “Did you talk to him yet?”

“No. What is the point? What would I even say?” Lia leaned into Ember and cried while her friend just held her in silence. What could any of them say really?

It had been almost two months since Lia was last in the club. She had been healed enough for a while, but emotionally she was still in shambles. Moping around wasn’t helping and Ember had practically moved in just so she could make sure that Lia was taking care of herself and not doing anything dumb. 

It was nice to know that Ember was a true friend and she had done a lot to help Lia begin to feel normal again. Normal enough to start talking about the club and how to handle seeing Darnok again. Lia still wasn’t sure that she could do it, but Ember promised that Lucien and Zane would be there to help as well. She even suggested doing scenes with one or both of the men, to try and distance herself from Darnok. There was a concern that this experience would turn her away from the lifestyle for good and Ember didn’t want that, neither did Lia. Kink had become an integral part of her life and she wasn’t ready to give it up. Even if it took her time to find her place of comfort again. 

The plan was to go to the club this weekend, Ember sticking with her, and seeing if Lucien or Zane would be willing to do a scene. If nothing else, Ember, being a switch, offered to do a scene with Lia just to help her ease back into things. Something that made Lia blush heavily and they had to have a bit of a conversation on if that sort of thing could interfere with their friendship. Something neither woman wanted, so it would be approached with caution should that be the situation they landed on. 

Luckily both Lucian and Zane were available for a scene so neither of the women had to worry about compromising their friendship just yet. Zane was curious why Lia had come to them first, but didn’t question it. While Lucien just watched Lia with the strangest expression. He was the one that suggested they all four use one of the rooms and do a group scene. Something exciting, but they would let Lia choose the intensity, since she had been gone for a while. 

“You know, I remember that party where I was art and in a cage. There was something so relaxing about it, I went deep into sub space, is there anything like that we can do?” Lia looked between her friends hopefully.

“There are a few options. If you are comfortable with bondage we could do some rope suspension. How have you healed by the way?” Lucien asked as he looked Lia up and down his eyes flashing between a range of colors. 

“Fully, I just stayed gone a little longer to be safe. That and work.” Lia knew that was a half truth at best, but she wanted to enjoy the night. 

“Suspension sounds fun” Ember said with a smile. “And we don’t have to go overboard with the bondage part so we can do some light suspension, or even use swings instead of rope.”

With the activity decided Lucian and Zane gathered up the equipment they would need. The room had ceiling braces with loops hanging down. Something they could easily tie rope to. Though Lucien suggested using a few swing pieces to help hold the girls up, so all their weight wasn’t on the ropes. He had an idea for how he wanted them both bound and it would take a bit of work to get them into that position and bound together. 

Using silk rope, Lucien began binding Lia, while Zane bound Ember. Both girls were bound together, in a scissoring position. It took a bit of conversation to make sure everyone was comfortable with it, but as this was a group scene and not one on one, Lia was more comfortable with the idea of sharing pleasure with Ember. Plus, she was really curious how it might feel and she was more than a little excited to find out. 

With their crotches pushed together, their thighs bound to each other, and their arms bound behind their backs. Lia realized she was almost completely immobile, but she wasn’t afraid. The men used the swing equipment to help get them both suspended in the air, something that didn’t seem easy, but Lucien was deceptively, inhumanly, even otherworldly strong. 

Once in position Lia wiggled a bit to test her range of motion and found that it felt really good to wiggle like that, and the quiet sound that Ember made was a clue that she also felt good. Giggling a bit, Lia looked between Zane and Lucien.  

“Ok, we are all tied up, now what?” 

“With your permission of course, I think I know what both Zane and I would like, but I will let you choose who you are with Lia. There will be no hard feelings no matter the choice.” Lucien smiled and began stripping off his clothing.

Zane followed suit and both men were bare before Lia and Ember. Lia had seen Lucien before and liked his body. He was strong, but a bit more Lithe and tall, like a dancer or gymnast, though he still had a good bit of muscle and definition. Zane on the other hand was more bulky, muscular, a bit soft around the middle, but not much. He was also incredibly hairy. Lia had never seen that much body hair on a man before and she kind of liked it. 

“I think I will choose Zane this time, since we have already had some time together with Lucien.” Lia winked at him with a smile.

“Wow really? I didn’t know you two hooked up. Man, I am always the last to the party huh?” Zane walked over to Lia pushing his long hair back from his face and looking down at her. 

Lia realized, rather suddenly, that they were suspended at nearly the perfect height for their mouths to be used easily. She smirked a bit and looked up at Zane. He was handsome. Almost inhumanly tall, but quite handsome. He had such rugged features, and despite all their playful flirting it had never gone anywhere in the past. Though her attraction to him was quite real, she had always just been too caught up in Darnok to really look that intensely at Zane. 

She found herself blushing when he gently stroked her face with his large hands, she could feel the callouses and honestly didn’t mind them. She wished her hands were not bound, the hair on his body was so inviting, she wanted to touch him, to run her fingers through it. The hair on his head was a few shades darker than the hair on his body, the contrast interesting to her. Lia looked up, noticing he was hard as he had been watching her study him. When her eyes met his, for a moment she swore they were yellow, but it must have been a trick of the light. 

“If you are sure, I heard what injured you before, and I am not really all that big into hurting my partners like that.” Zane was focused on Lia taking in her scent, reading her body, looking for any hint that she wasn’t sure or was hesitant about any of it. 

“I promise I am ok.” She tried to look down at Lucien but was struggling. “Lucien, tell him I am ok.”

Lucien laughed, it was a dark smokey laugh with a strange echo to it. “I assure you Zane, I would have sent her right home if she wasn’t fully healed. I can see how eager she is. You need to relax and let yourself enjoy it.” Lucien paused, blinked in a way that from a certain angle it looked like he had two sets of eyelids, and then spoke again. “Since when are you the uptight one?”

At that Zane started laughing, which caused Ember to have the giggles, which gave Lia the giggles as well as Lucien just looked at them all. 

“Really now, this is supposed to be a serious scene. How am I supposed to exude the energy of a stoic dominant if you are all having giggle fits!”

That statement only made them laugh harder, something that had Lucien smiling slyly. He knew the heartbreak that Lia was feeling. He knew this was a distraction, and one she desperately needed. He also knew that Zane would be more gentle with her than anyone else could be. Despite never wanting to harm her, Lia was an enigma and Lucien could see himself going a little too far with her. 

“Are you all quite finished?”

The giggling died down and Zane nodded, followed by Lia and Ember, the latter of which opened her mouth for Lucien, trying to at least feign some semblance of obedience. The offer of which was taken with a slow teasing stroke of Lucien's cock against Ember's lips before he slid into her mouth with a groan. His focus now on the woman bound and trusting him. 

Zane paused, watching them for a moment before looking down at Lia and stroking her face. “You have my permission to bite me if I get too rough or go too far. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Lia nodded and leaned her head up a bit to kiss the tip of Zane’s cock, giving it a little flick with her tongue, smiling as he visibly shuddered and made a small sound that she wanted to hear more of. No more words were needed as he stepped closer and pushed his cock slowly into her waiting open mouth. He was more gentle than Lia had expected, more gentle than she had really experienced in the past, she was curious how he had so much control. 

The scene started out slow, both men being careful with their partners, making sure not to thrust too hard or push too deep. Though control was beginning to slip for both men as the scene became more intense. With each thrust Ember and Lia were pushed together, their slick folds and clits rubbing against each other, increasing their pleasure. 

Lia had no idea that rubbing against another woman could feel this good and she had to think about that later when she could actually rub her brain cells together since she was enjoying this far more than she thought she would. Zane’s cock was thick, but not as thick as Darnoks. It was a good size, and despite his height, he still wasn’t orc big. Something Lia was thankful for. The size of him, the feel of him, the curve, she had to admit it, Zane had a really nice cock and she was somewhat eager to feel it elsewhere. Something that sent a sting of guilt through her, and she pushed it away as quickly as it showed up. 

It was easy to tell once Zane was starting to get closer to the edge. His thrusts became rougher, his control clearly slipping. She could feel his hands gripping her breasts, teasing her nipples, though his nails felt weirdly longer, but that was probably her imagination. She was enjoying it too much. The harder he thrust the more it pushed her into Ember and the more friction she was able to feel. It was clear both men were trying to time their thrusts to push the girls together harder. Lia could hear Ember moaning around Lucien’s cock, and it was all just turning her on more. 

Somehow it felt like Zane’s cock was getting bigger and her throat hurt a bit, but she wasn’t going to stop now. Lia was close herself and she wanted this. Zane was grunting, making little growling noises as he thrust deeper and harder into her throat. She could feel him swelling, getting closer and closer to release, something she was also getting closer to. 

Soon Lia felt that euphoria as her core clenched a bit. She was going to cum soon, and the burning pain in her throat was ignored as she felt Zane push harder into her throat, his grip on her painfully tight, tight enough to leave bruises. All of that was forgotten as she arched and came against Ember, feeling an intense throbbing release as she was pushed against the other woman. She wasn’t sure but she thought she felt Ember cumming too. That thought was pushed aside as Zane came with a loud sound, that was somewhat like a howl, but Lia was pretty sure that was her imagination as her throat and mouth were filled with a hot flood of cum. 

When Zane pulled out Lia coughed a bit to clear her airways, but otherwise felt mostly fine. She had cum all over her face so her eyes were closed, but soon she could feel a wet cloth cleaning her up. 

“Sorry, I am so sorry Lia, I lost control at the end there. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Why didn’t you bite me?”

It took Lia a bit to answer, she smiled up at Zane, her voice a little hoarse. “Because I like it, and it didn’t hurt that much, I promise.”

Both men took their time to carefully get the women down. Moving them over to the bed, rubbing their limbs to help them get feeling back. The four of them cuddled for a bit, enjoying the afterglow and each other's company. Aftercare was important, even as a group, and the women were doted on and given anything they wanted or needed. 

Lia found she liked how it felt to be snuggled against Zane, he was really warm and the hair on his body felt nice against her skin. Though that strange guilty feeling was back and she did her best to push it away, this moment was not going to be ruined because she was an emotional and mental mess. 

Soon it was time to get dressed and vacate the room. They headed back to the VIP area and talked for a while, sharing drinks and laughing. Soon it was late and Lia needed to go. Ember hugged her indicating to call her when Lia got there so she could be sure she got home safe. Kissing Zane on the cheek Lia headed to the exit. 

What she hadn’t expected, and least wanted, was exactly what happened. She ran into Darnok who seemed surprised to see her. He looked at her curiously.

“I thought I saw you before, coming out from the back rooms, but I wasn’t sure.”

“That was me, I was with Lucien, Zane, and Ember, we did a group scene. It was intense but a lot of fun.” Lia was trying to smile, trying to be normal, trying to hold it together. 

Darnok just looked at her, a bit confused. “I wasn’t sure when you would come back. I know you had been injured, but you hadn’t been responding. I didn’t know you were coming back to the club.”

Lia took a breath and looked Darnok in the eyes. “Well.” She paused, praying for strength. “I didn’t know you were engaged. I guess there is a lot we both just don’t know. Goodbye Darnok.” With that Lia pushed past him and headed for the door. She could already feel the tears, and by the time she made it outside she was running to her car fighting back sobs. 

Lia didn’t want him to stop her. She didn’t want to hear his excuses. Pulling out of the parking lot she sped off, hoping that she drove fast enough that he could not follow her. Trying to see through the tears, Lia’s heart broke all over again. 

[joestarsecrettecnique]

I am so very sick and tired of the toxicity that’s been poisoning the snk fandom as of the last couple years. I gave myself time to digest the ending and my feelings on it, before embarking in a journey to debunk many misconceptions and critiques I’ve seen floating in the fandom.

By the way, by no means I think this ending is perfect. I think this is textbook execution by Isayama to tie together every loose end left behind in an orderly manner, and I think that it was a bit rushed and oversimplified. I would’ve wanted more of Eren and Armin’s conversation, more of the squad realizing what his true goal had been, and some narrative choices I don’t 100% agree with. But still, what I saw in other fans’ critiques post 139 frankly appalled me, so I feel the need to make this. Also, this obviously are my own interpretations, I am not Isayama himself lol

“Ew, so Eren did pull a Lelouch after all”

No, Eren did not pull a Lelouch. While his action and the final result may seem similar, I find very different nuances between the two. Lelouch wanted for the whole world to be united in fighting against him, and thus he made himself the world’s greatest enemy. His will to turn himself into a monster was selfless. Eren didn’t give a damn about the world, he had no noble intentions whatsoever. He said it in chapter 122, his goal was to protect Paradis and, more specifically, his closest friends. He turned himself into a monster, killed 80% of human population, and endangered the lives of those very friends he wanted to protect, so that by stopping him, those friends could be safe. Eren had no intentions to break out of the cycle of hatred or unite the world against himself, he just wanted to give his friends a chance to survive, and that is not selfless, it’s selfish. Eren’s goal was incredibly selfish, and biased, and driven by his feelings instead of rationality. Nothing like Lelouch!

Now this, this I myself am not the greatest fan of. I feel like it makes that great scene in chapter 122 loose a bit of its strength, Ymir obeying the king for 2000 years just because she loved him. Honestly, I always thought there was a bit of Stockholm Syndrome going on, but I didn’t think it would be the only reason. However, like it or not, it’s undeniable that it makes perfect sense in the narrative that aot has always strived to tell. Love has been a theme strongly woven in the story, and it also draws a great parallel between Karl Fritz/Ymir and Eren/Mikasa. Ymir was a slave to her love for King Fritz, just like Mikasa was a slave to her love for Eren, in that she struggled to accept reality until the very end despite the atrocities that Eren committed. Ymir stayed bound by her love for King Fritz, until she saw Mikasa break from her own poisoned love, aknwoledge it, and kill Eren despite of it, or maybe because of it. Only Ymir knows that one, heh. But the point is, Mikasa showed Ymir that she could break free of a toxic love, she was that someone that Ymir had been waiting for to finally free her of her burden.

“What? But that makes no sense!”

Now, on my first read, I simply thought that Eren had ordered Dina to avoid eating Berthold, and that he had made her walk down that road unaware that his mother was trapped (because we know that the Attack Titan’s future memories aren’t infallible, there are still gaps), killing her indirectly. I’ve since then read some theories stating that Eren willingly killed his own mum in orther to give kid himself a reason to feel enough hatred to kickstart the whole story. Honestly, I like this version maybe more! But let me explain to you why this is not a plothole, like many people think. In this same chapter, we have Eren explaining how the Founder’s power works in synergy with the Attack’s: “There’s no past or future, they all exist at once”. This means that time travel in aot doesn’t work in a manner where Eren extracts himself from time and space, and from a separate realm he operates on the past. The way I understood it, the mechanics works kind of like Tokyo Revengers’ time travel. MInd you, I only watched episode one, so my understanding might be jackshit.

Spoilers for Tokyo Revengers’ episode one. In the show, the main character loses consciousness and finds himself reliving his past. He interacts with someone in this “new” past, and when he wakes up again in the present, past events had been over-written by the changes he made. I think this is how aot timetravel works, with the exception that, since past and future (and present, of course) all happen at once, side by side, there is no old past to be rewritten, neither a future to return to, and present Eren wouldn’t be aware of the changes that his future self would make. It creates sort of a time paradox, yes, in the sense that there’s a loop where present Eren’s mom has been eaten because future Eren, in the future, operated on the past by causing past Eren’s mom to be eaten, but all these Erens are one and the same, as all timelines exist at once.

“Boo-hoo they ruined Eren’s character, he’s such a wimp!”

I have to confess (isn’t this appalling, that this is a thing that I have to confess, what the actual fuck), I am an Eren stan. I absolutely do not consider myself a Jaegerist, I think Eren’s option was better than Zeke’s, yes, but it was morally wrong and awful and he absolutely was not only in the wrong, but also if he wasn’t dead I’d want him to be punished for his crimes. I didn’t particularly enjoy him pre-timeskip, and I started to like him because I found his evolution fascinating. I wanted to understand his motives, what was going on in his head, he was a puzzle that I wanted to solve. Maybe because I’m a psychologist, who knows. Anyways, if you’re an Eren stan only because he acted like a chad and now you cry his character was ruined, I’m sorry to say, you never understood him. Eren was not a god, he was not a strategist playing 5d chess with perfect rationality, Eren was the same he has always been. He was a young man spun along by his passions. Eren feels things with burning intensity, he lets himself be driven by his emotions. He almost flattened the world because he was disappointed that he and his friends weren’t the only human beings inhabiting it, for fuck’s sake, he’s always been irrational, selfish, and immature. Of course he doesn’t wanna die, of course he want’s to live with all of them. You really expected a 15 year old hot-headed brat to become Thanos after he suddenly found out he killed his own mum and all his dreams had been crushed? Of course he felt conflicted, of course he suffered, of course he wanted to live, “because he was born in this world”. Honestly, when I read his meltdown, I felt relieved that his character hadn’t been turned on its head, it was heartbreaking to see that he really was the same brat he’d always been, that he’d tried to steel himself to do horrible shit for his friends’ sake and that he felt bad about it! It made me appreciate his character a lot more, I felt nostalgic towards the times when I was irritated by his screaming and pouting. Suffice to say, this is also my answer to all those people that believe his internal monologue to convince himself the Rumbling was what he really wanted were bullshit since he “pulled a Lelouch”. How can it be bullshit? Maybe he planned to be stopped, but he also said that he thought he would’ve still done it if they hadn’t. He also said that killing a majority of the population was something that he wanted to do, not a byproduct of the alliance not stopping him early enough, because with the world’s militaries in shambles Paradis would’ve had time to prepare accordingly. Anyways, of course he needed to convince himself to do this awful thing even if he knew he wasn’t gonna succeed completely, can you imagine how horrible it would be to know your only chance is to kill thousands?

I also maybe think it was because of the spine centipede thingy? When Eren says “I don’t know why I did it, I wanted to, I had to”, he gets this faraway look on his face and we get a zoom in on one of his eyes, which is drawn very interestingly and kinda looks like the Reiss’ eyes when they were bound by the War Renounce Pact? So maybe it was also the centipede’s drive to survive and multiplicate that forced Eren to do the Rumbling so that its life wouldn’t be endangered. I don’t know how much I like this, I feel like it takes some agency away from Eren and also makes it feel like he’s not as responsible for the genocide he committed that we initially though, which mhhh maybe not, let’s have him take full responsibility for this. As I said, I’m not defending Isayama blindly, I do have some issues myself with what went down.

“What the fuck, did he say thank you for the genocide?”

Guys c’mon, this is like,, reading comprehension. Yes, it was poorly worded and a bit rushed, but by now you should have full context to make an educated guess on the fact that no, he didn’t thank him for committing a genocide what the fuck you guys. Armin started bringing up the idea that maybe they should have Eren eaten because he was doing morally questionable things ever since the Marley Arc, which for manga readers was like what, 2018? Isayama has been showing for three years how not okay Armin was with Eren’s actions, how could it make sense for him to thank him for a genocide? You see some poorly worded stuff, and your first instinct is to ignore eleven years’ worth of consistent characterization to jump to the worst interpretation possible? Let’s go over this sentences and reconstruct what they mean.

“Eren, thank you. You became a mass murdere for our sake. I won’t let this error go to waste”. Armin recognizes that Eren had no other choice, but does not condone it. He clearly calls it an error, which feels like an euphemism but for all we know the japanese original term used could’ve been harsher. Point is, he clearly states he think what Eren did was wrong. But he recognizes that Eren’s awful doing opened up a path for Paradis to break out of the cycle of hatred. Not a certainty, but an opportunity. He thanks Eren for giving them this chance, and promises not to waste it, even if it was born out of an atrocity. He thanks Eren for sacrificing himself for their sake, even if he doesn’t agree with the fruit of his labor, so to speak. He’s thanking Eren for the opportunity that his actions gave them, not for the actions themselves! Where the hell do you read “thank you for the genocide” guys, sheesh. I’m mad at y’all.

“How could Eren send MIkasa memories if she’s an Ackerman and an Asian, and their memories can’t be manipulated by the Founder? I call plothole!”

Now, here we’re going into speculation territory, so you’ve been warned. I don’t think that that information they gave us was true, about Ackermans being immune to memory manipulation. We know at least that the clan is in some way subject to the Founder’s power, or Mikasa and Levi wouldn’t have been called in the Paths by Eren multiple times. Stories never being entirely true or false, or relativity, better said, has been a strong theme in the story, we know this by Marley’s and Eldia’s different accounts of history compared to the actual Ymir backstory we got. So who’s to say that the belief that Ackermans aren’t manipulable is the truth? Maybe they’re just hard to control, not impossible. We know that by the Founder’s ability Eren experienced past and future happening simultaneously, so he could’ve very well been trying to send those memories into Mikasa’s head ever since the beginning of the story, only just succeeding in chapter 138. It would at least explain Ackerman’s headaches as Eren trying to manipulate their memories and failing. Of course, we’d need Levi side of thing to know for certain, as he had headaches too and we weren’t shown in the chapter if Eren spoke to him in paths like he did with the rest of the squad. We know he didn’t talk to Pieck, but he even went and spoke to Annie who he basically hadn’t seen since Stohess, so I hope he spoke to Levi too. Who knows, maybe he even spoke with Hanji, but she died before she could remember. I wish we were shown that, honestly, I’m sad that it was skipped, especially after Levi said in an earlier chapter that “there was so much he wanted to tell Eren”. Fingers crossed for the anime to expand on it.

“So Historia’s pregnancy was useless”

What? No, it wasn’t useless! Eren told her to get pregnant to save her life, so that she wouldn’t be turned into the Beast Titan. If she became the Beast Titan, then Eren would’ve had to enact the plan with her instead of Zeke, and yeah, Ymir brought the power of the titans with her, so theoretically Titan Shifter Historia would’ve had her time limit removed, but we saw that the only way for the Alliance to stop the Rumbling was killing Zeke, so Historia would’ve had to die. Useless to say, when Eren talked to her about his plan, she was very vocally against it, so I don’t think she would’ve helped Eren with his plan. It was Zeke or nothing, and the only way for Zeke to keep his titan was for Historia to be unable to be turned, hence the pregnancy. Did y’all read the same thing I read? Anyways, she could’ve definitely been handled better, but she wasn’t necessary to the plot anymore, and her being removed from it in such a way was sad, yes, but it made sense.

“They massacred Reiner!”

Yeah, can’t really say anything about this. I definitely understand the sentiment behind this scene, which I appreciate. It’s to show that thanks to his Titan being removed and the times of peace approaching, Reiner was finally able to shed the weight he bore on his shoulders and “regress” to his more carefree persona he had when he thought he was a soldier, instead of a warrior. I am very happy for him, and I think it’s a nice conclusion to his arc, that he’s finally happy, but it could’ve been portrayed in a less comic relief-y way. It just sledgehammers all his characterization. Feels surreal that we saw him attempt suicide a couple month ago in the anime and now he’s sniffing Historia’s handwriting.

Guys, this absolutely sends me. There are people who unironically believe Eren actually reincarnated in a bird? Guys. It makes no sense, it violates every rule that Isayama established for his universe’s power system. How could he even reincarnate in a bird? Guys, c’mon, this is symbolical! Birds have been heavily used in aot to portray freedom, and this is a nice, poetic, symbolic way to show that Eren who lived his whole life chasing freedom and never actually got it, is finally free, like a bird, now that he’s dead. It’s also a pretty explicit nod to Odin, I think. Aot is heavily inspired by Norse Mithology, and I think there were some pretty clear parallels between Eren and Odin/Loki in the later arcs of the story. Eren has been shown to “communicate” through birds like with Falco in chapter 81, or with Armin in chapter 131. Emphasis on “communicate” because again, this is symbolic, I don’t think he actually spoke through the birds, he simply talked to them via paths, but birds are associated with Eren’s character (see also the wings of freedom, y’know?) and the shots were framed so to give the impression that he was talking through the birds, but he wasn’t. Symbolism. Anyway, I really think they were supposed to be a nod to Odin’s crows.

Aaaaand that should be it! Even though I most definitely forgot some other criticism on the chapter, it’s crazy the amount of negativity floating around. Hope I didn’t bore you!

[samirant]

The Saga of Backpfeifengesicht

It is August 22nd and the Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange anonymity is over! And with this, I can finally tell the tale of how I got repeatedly cockblocked fic-blocked by @ajoblotofjunk​ - because without that sly little minx, I never, ever, would have gotten to write Backpfeifengesicht. The thanks and blame lies almost entirely at her feet. 

The following is rather gif-heavy, thanks to some of my favorite shows. Brace yourselves. 

You could assume the story starts with this:

It does not.

It really started with this:

And then...

And from there it took off!

It ended up being @slipsthrufingers​, @nire-the-mithridatist​ and @firesign23​ who took the helm on the exchange. You’ll notice that I’m not anywhere in these conversations, mostly because I’d never done a fic exchange in my life, let alone run one. The decision to stay a silent supporter in the background was an easy one to make. Surely that way I could stay outside of the chaos and drama that was sure to come. 

Little did I know.

The exchange opened and the numbers ticked up. Best estimates were that fifty writers would sign up and the exchange got TWICE that. It was phenomenal, exciting, wonderful - and thus the work began. What prompts would we get, who would we write for, what would we write?

Then, an email:

I knew @brynnmck​, or at least of her. Best buds with sdwolfpup aka @ajoblotofjunk​, lives in the States and I knew for a fact that she  enjoyed my writing in the past. This is going to be a breeze.

(Oh, I was a sweet, naive summer child.)

There were three different prompt options: rock star fic, vacation fic, and an oh-no-only-one-bed fic. I struck the last one out right away because I’d literally just done a Sansaery story utilizing that plot and didn’t want to repeat myself so blatantly. Like so many others, I went to my friends for help with planning, having one conversation in particular with @forbiddenfantasies1​ that promptly fell out of my brain.

(Three weeks later…)

The vacation prompt seemed the most inviting and I started to wonder, huh, what if Jaime and Brienne are modern adrenaline junkies and they do extreme vacations, like BASE jumping?

...I know nothing about BASE jumping.

And, what’s more, in the course of that time period, I read a fic by sdwolfpup where she referenced BASE jumping between the two of them. I chuckled to myself and tossed that idea aside. Back to brainstorming!

Inspiration struck! I decided on the vacation prompt - with a twist! I started writing! I turned to my good friend @forbiddenfantasies1 aka FF and said I HAVE SOMETHING YAAAAY: 

And I took a second to wonder… wait. Did she tell me this three weeks ago? 

Did I...? 

...oh no. 

Oh, no no no.

I searched our Discord history and...

I stole my friend’s prompt. I STOLE HER PROMPT.

That’s not me throwing a gauntlet, that’s me throwing away my bit of fic in the garbage, where it belonged. THE GALL. THE FAULTY MEMORY THAT LED TO MY WORST ACTION.

FF tried to be gracious about it, though she was in no way at fault. NO WAY. We had a long talk. And then a longer one. And then another where I said ENOUGH! You write yours and I’ll find something different, it’s the right thing to do. 

So I turned to the Rock Star Fic. Music. Guitars. Not my bag, but there’s something there. The brainstorming began again. Then, courtesy of @ajoblotofjunk :

Wait, what?

SDWOLFPUP AKA BRYNN’S BESTIE

IS

WRITING

A

MUSIC

AU

Not just anyone. Her best friend. A brilliant, brilliant writer. 

There was only one thing I could do. 

So there went mine.

(Slips: TWO CAAAAKES!

Sami: HER BEST FRIEEEEEEEND! NO!)

Commence brainstorming, part… whateverthefuck, I don’t even know.

And some more brainstorming. (And the beginning of some A+ dramatics.)

It... was not pretty.

My friends reminded me that it only had to be a thousand words - I could do that, it was highly attainable, I just had to find something. Anything. FF knows Brynn and said that she’s so chill! She’ll enjoy anything, just give it a shot!

I gave it a shot.

The struggle continued. My brain was stuck on the fact that I had been a bad, prompt-thieving friend and then that whatever sdwolfpup already had cooking was surely miles ahead of what I hadn’t been able to piece together. My friends told me to stop being so dramatic. I said:

Finally. An idea came to mind. Something simple, maybe even a single scene. The vacation prompt. Perhaps… Brienne goes on vacation. No one knows her, she doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone, maybe she decides to take a chance on that handsome man at the bar.

Yes, I told my dear @Luthienebonyx. I think that’s what I’m going to do. Brienne meets Jaime in a bar.

ONE HOUR LATER:

ONE.

HOUR.

LATER.

And if you aren’t convinced that karma wasn’t out to get me, may I draw your attention to the acknowledgement in the notes:

J’accuse! FF! @forbiddenfantasies1​ !!!!!!

Et tu, FF?

INDEED, CAPTAIN RAYMOND HOLT. INDEED.

I was languishing. Suffering. Bemoaning the very idea that I should even be in the exchange at all!!!

Meanwhile, SDW:

And I am:

I turned to FF, all HOW COULD YOU!

She was understandably confused. 

I was back to the drawing board.

There was a serious discussion of handing off my prompts to another writer, trading with someone so that I could get over my writer’s block - or at least stop getting fic-blocked by a certain talented author who was surely in cahoots with my friend-enemy FF.

FF tried to talk some sense into me. And she handed me, as it has come to be known: Brynnformation.

I decided to give it one. last. go. 

And I remembered.

Nine months later, the time had come for Backpfeifengesicht. 

I held it close to my chest. Very close. So close that I stopped checking tumblr for fear of discovering that sdwolfpup had caught the scent of my story in the air and eclipsed me yet again. When my friends asked how it was going, I was perfectly reasonable, totally chill, very:

I was informed that sdwolfpup had gone on vacation, THANK GOD, I WAS SAFE FOR A WEEK.

After I got past the murderous paranoia, I started to put a story together. Vacations. Road trips. Baseball. And, as it said in the prompts, Brynn enjoys herself some J/B lovin’. FF pointed out that Brynn had a fondness for lovin’ that involves tables.

And with that Friend-Enemy FF became Friend FF once more, as she should always be considered.

All hail Brynnformation!

Yes. It was Backpfeifengesicht’s moment to shine.

(I… stopped checking sdw’s tumblr. For my own sense of self and stability. If she came up with a random german name, I was sure to throw in the towel.)

I wrote and wrote and wrote some more. I refused to let my friends see it for fear of jinxing the whole damn thing. I was nearly halfway through when I had a truly horrible day at work and the only thing that cheered me was to break my silence and share a bit of it with @forbiddenfantasies and @elizadunc - they were new to my whining in ways that Slips, Nire, Luthien and Firesign had grown immune to.

Their response?

Though I was still in a mindset more like:

FF: Sami, stop freaking out.

Sami: I CAN’T.

I looped in the rest of my friends, so they could beta and also convince me not to bin the entire thing all over again. It was the work of SIX PEOPLE to keep me from giving up this whole damn thing.

SIX PEOPLE.

At last, the story was done and I landed somewhere between:

and

Don’t believe me?

I kept my eye out for sdwolfpup. If she was watching, she was being clever about it. 

I edited. 

My friends and wonderful betas tried to talk me down off the ledge. Repeatedly.

I made myself wait to post anyway, and not without one last freak out.

AND

SHE

DID

But hey, she also said:

Gee... I wonder how that happened?

@forbiddenfantasies1​ - you are a filthy liar and the goddamn best <3 This story would not exist without you or sdwolfpup’s fic-blocking ways. My love and my echoing screams of despair to you both. 

[ineloqueent]

Starstruck: Part 17

Brian May x Fem!Reader

This is Part 17 of a multi-part fic. Click the links below to read the Masterpost, the previous part, or the next part of the fic :)

Masterpost / Part 16 / Part 18

Summary: When studying at Imperial College in the 1970s, your path is crossed by a beautiful boy as much in love with the stars as you.  

Warnings: swearing, sentiments of sadness

Historical Inaccuracies:

SO. This is more of a disclaimer than an inaccuracy. But it’s very important...

I have written Mary’s character on basis of Lucy Boynton’s portrayal of her in Bohemian Rhapsody. I make no assumptions concerning the relationship between Freddie and Mary, and nor do I condone the things Mary has done in the wake of Freddie’s passing. 

Please remember that this is but a fictionalisation. But anyway. I’m not here to talk about that; I’m here to write fanfic. Let’s go! 

Word Count: 2.6k (can i get three cheers for the shortest chapter ever)

⁺˚*·༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺

You found her soon enough. She hadn’t even made it fully up the stairs.

A pitiful sight, she was, sitting with her knees pulled up as she wept quietly into the velvet of her trousers.

“Mary,” you began gently, and she lifted her head.

Her eyes were puffy, and tears had drawn angry red lines down her round cheeks. Her hair, which had previously been up, fell about her face in blonde wisps as her lower lip trembled and her eyes filled anew with tears.

You made your way over to the corner where she sat and she watched you raptly, like a frightened animal. You knelt beside her.

“Hey, what was that all about?”

Mary only shook her head, blinking rapidly in an attempt to stem her tears.

You offered her a hand up, and after a few moments of contemplation, she took it and stood.

She stared at you a moment before rivulets came running down her face again.

“Come on,” you said. “Let’s get some air.”

You led her up the final stairs and pulled open the door at the landing, guiding her outside onto the rooftop terrace.

The night air was cool, and from the heated rush of emotions that still seemed to cloud your mind to the giddiness that still occupied your stomach, the breeze on the roof was one you welcomed.

Mary seemed to relish the sudden cold as well, going as far as to lean out over the railing and close her eyes in the onslaught of the wind.

Thinking that you should probably not allow her to do any leaning given the mental state she was presently in, you came to stand by her side.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

Anger flashed across her face, and she wiped her eyes with a frustrated air, only more infuriated by the fact that she was crying.

You were about to assure her that she needn’t say anything at all when she blurted,

“I found Freddie with another man.”

“Oh,” you said. You pressed your lips together, trying to gauge how it was you were to handle this.

“I just can’t believe that he’d lie to me.”

You were reminded of Deacy’s comment about Freddie being ‘nearly pathological’ with respect to lying, but that was hardly helpful right now, and you could only imagine the crushing betrayal Mary must have felt.

“I can believe that he would lie,” she elaborated, fingers curling around the railing, “but not to me. I just— oh, I suppose I thought I was different.” She gave a shudder. “I’d had the feeling that something wasn’t quite right, and I tried to talk to him, tried to tell him that he could tell me anything, and that even if I was mad about whatever it was when he told me, I wouldn’t stay that way.”

Mary turned to you, and the wind tossed her hair wildly, and with the way her eyes still ran with saltwater, she seemed a maiden from some sort of Greek tragedy.

“I love him,” she went on. “But I’ve always felt that I loved him more than he loved me. Now I understand why.”

She slumped to the ground again, her expression dark. “I’m not even angry that he didn’t come out to me. I understand that, because how the hell do you begin to tell your fiance that you want to break of the wedding because you’re gay?

“Freddie’s got this kindness, and sometimes, it’s like he’d lie to a court if it meant that he spared the feelings of those he loves. So I guess, in a way, he does love me. I only wish he’d have tried to break it off with me, instead of waiting until I walked in on him.”

She sighed, and you sat down across from her, folding your legs beneath you.

“So, what now?” you asked, because it seemed that Mary had thought a lot about this already.

But she dropped her head to her hands. “That’s the one thing I can’t work out. Where do I go from here?”

“Have you talked to Freddie, properly?”

She shook her head. “It’s going to take me a long time to forgive him. I just hope he knows why I’m angry, and that it’s not because he’s gay.”

There. That was it. That was where she had to go. “Maybe you should tell him that.”

Mary looked at you, her face wrought in scars of mascara and eyeliner. She lifted her chin and nodded. “You’re right.” She chewed her lip a moment. “But not tonight. I don’t think I can do that.”

You nodded in understanding, because with the way sobs had wracked her body, there would be no energy left for her to have a conversation with Freddie without it dissolving into a bitter argument, even with good intentions at heart.

“Y/N, would it be okay if I stayed in your room for the night?”

“So long as you promise me you’ll talk to Freddie tomorrow,” you said. “Don’t leave him wondering.”

“Yeah.”

You stood. “Let’s just go, then. It’s past midnight anyway.”

Later, when Mary was sound asleep on one of the beds, bundled in the various extra blankets you’d scavenged from cupboards, you lay with your eyes wide open. You’d been kept awake by the sounds of the dwindling party upstairs, which had carried on for long after the scene had been abandoned by its host.

You wondered where Freddie had got to.

And where Brian had.

You’d considered going to find him many times, and had even gone so far as to stick your feet out of bed and set them on the cold hardwood floor, but in the end, you’d made up your mind to do what you always did: nothing.

He’d left you standing in the dance hall, without so much as recognition in his eyes for evidence of having kissed you. And now he was going to tell you that he’d meant nothing of it, a rush of emotions in an exhilarated situation, and you couldn’t bear to hear that.

You’d rather be left wondering than have such a finality imposed upon your mind.

⁺˚*·༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺

It had been days, now. They’d been tiptoeing around each other for days.

It was ridiculous to the point where I began to feel the need to take matters into my own hands.

The situation was now ultimately worse than it had been before, because very obviously, something had changed. And I’d wager that something had happened on the first night of tour. They were different now, almost shyer, more fragile in their vulnerability to each other’s charms.

He had pined for her since the late sixties, she had been oblivious since day one, and I doubted that, despite their respectively vast vocabularies, either of them knew the meaning of the verb ‘to converse’. It was all longing looks and unuttered promises, a brush of a hand and staring pensively when the other was unawares.

I was almost offended that they couldn’t pull themselves together, when they were fortunate enough to have each other.

Veronica and Robert would get farther and farther from me as each day of tour escorted us more remotely from London. It hadn’t been an option to bring my wife and our tiny child with us on tour, so I could do nothing now but miss them.

But our two resident idiots, Y/N and Brian, did have each other. And they took it completely for granted.

The open road was quiet and dark, and seemed half-asleep, the trees that blurred past the window swaying to some secret song. A flock of birds streamlined the puffy clouds overhead as the moon greeted the sun in its eternal celestial shift, light yielding light to comfort the earthly beings who feared the darkness. Though I did not fear the dark as such, it was easy to imagine lurking figures between the lone houses by the roads, creeping souls amongst the woods by the road; there was something consuming about this early-morning quiet.

On a stop between Bristol and Cardiff, I left the loos to find Freddie smoking by a payphone, notably absent from the rest of our entourage.

The morning air was chilly, and I wound the scarf around my neck in its second loop, buttoning up my jacket with a shiver. No one was out here other than out of necessity, so I made my way over to Freddie and leaned against the wall beside him.

I turned to face him. “How are you?”

Freddie pursed his lips, tapping ash from his cigarette. “Not at my most fabulous, dear.”

I nodded understandingly, burying my face further into the scarf. “It’s okay, you know. You can’t always be.”

“But that’s why I became Freddie Mercury,” he said quietly, his words nearly carried away by the wind. “I became a legend so I wouldn’t feel like this.”

“Freddie,” I began, “I’m pretty sure being legendary means you have a lot more to feel than you would otherwise.”

He smiled a thin-lipped smile, tossing his spent cigarette into the ashtray mounted atop the rubbish bin. “You are of course right, darling, but right now I’d give anything to feel nothing at all.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Freddie sighed. “I don’t know what I want.”

It was despair in his voice; I recognised it. And I understood it. Because where do you start if you don’t know what you’re working toward?

I placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned his sad brown eyes on me.

“You’re a legend, Freddie,” I reminded him. “You’ve got forever to figure it out, okay?”

He nodded.

“And you can talk to me if you need to.”

“Thank you, Deacy,” he patted my hand. “I think I’ll keep a bit to myself for a while, though, at least until we reach the city.”

“Okay.”

“Now, let’s get out of this cold. I’m freezing my tits off!”

I laughed. “Okay, Freddie.”

And though the open road was quiet and dark and I missed my wife and son, I had my friends. The second half of my family.

⁺˚*·༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺

You ached to kiss Brian again. To wind your fingers through his hair. To hold him close, because with the worry that wove itself through his brow on behalf of Freddie, he looked so lost, so far away, as though he needed someone to bring his floating self to the ground where his thoughts could wander amongst the living, and not dwell up in the sky with that which he had lost.

Perhaps that was why he looked to the stars so often; he’d lost so much, and they were a constant.

He deserved to have something brought back to him. And if you could return to him some of the light in his eyes instead of stealing it away, then nothing in the world would make you happier.

The mornings on the bus were tense, to say the least.

Without discussion, it seemed that you and Brian had established an agreement to keep Mary and Freddie apart until they had the time and privacy in which to talk. But it was a difficult arrangement, given that the tour bus was not exactly spacious. And given that it meant you had to keep your distance from Brian.

Presently, though, you came second to the efforts of protecting Freddie and Mary from themselves, which meant that Brian did as well. So for now, all you could give to him were silent glances and small smiles.

But Brian seemed to have other ideas.

On the leg from Cardiff to Taunton, just as you were getting back on the bus, someone grabbed your hand and pulled you around the corner.

You tensed, whirling around with your other fist raised, your heart hammering.

But your defenses were instantly disarmed, because there was Brian with his mass of curls in disarray from the wind, his lips parted as though he had been about to say something.

“Are you trying to kill me?!” you cried, your heartbeat still in your throat.

“No,” Brian said, “I’m trying to kiss you.”

“You’re—”

He pulled you to him, melding himself against you, and kissed you soundly on the mouth, his arms winding around you. Your response was immediate, and you leaned so far into him that he stumbled. His laughter tickled your lips, a rush of breath over your skin as he clutched you to stop you from falling with him.

But you pushed him against the wall instead, and his hands rose to your cheeks to kiss you more deeply, devouring— senseless. Precisely as you had once wished for him to kiss you.

There were so many things you wanted to say, but it seemed the most of them were covered in how you moved with him, vulnerable and uninhibited, purely driven by the desire to hold him close, to make him understand with your proximity how much it was you cared for him. How much you would never be able to explain the gravity of your affections for him.

Brian reversed your positions and only the existence of the wall and his arms kept you on your feet; you were dizzy with the surge of excitement that withered you where he touched you.

And his touch was everywhere.

His lips moved from your mouth to your jaw, from your jaw to your cheek, to the shell of your ear, and then in a tender trail down your neck. His fingertips fluttered at your sides, warm on your skin, but you shivered, because no one had ever touched you with such a gentleness as this, such desire, such love.

Then abruptly, he pulled back, short of breath and flushed from head to toe, with swollen lips and loose curls sticking up where your fingers had interfered with their natural fall.

The world spun as his eyes flickered between yours.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he hummed.

“You did a bit,” you replied. “We’re on the open road. It is sort of scary out here.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I just missed you. I miss you. I feel like we’re apart, you know?”

You nodded mutely.

He asked softly, “We’re not keeping this a secret, are we?”

You couldn’t believe that he was asking, after everything. But you supposed that was how he was, considerate to the point where he doubted himself if the circumstances favoured you.

“Brian,” you said, “I don’t think I could hide the way I look at you if I wanted to.”

A smile flickered across his face.

Then the rain began to pour.

“Come on, back inside,” you said, taking him by the hand.

“Hang on,” he pulled you back. He lingered a moment, gazing at you aimlessly, and he looked at you the way he looked at the stars.

“What?”

Brian cradled your face in his hands. Then he pressed a gentle kiss to your nose, brushed the pad of his thumb over your skin. “I just wanted to look at you.”

You couldn’t help but smile.

“My evening star,” he murmured.

You shook your head, finding it very hard to believe that this man, who spoke so beautifully, was yours. “You’re a poet, Brian.”

His response would have been enough to flood the coldest land with a wealth of warmth, as absolutely as that which blossomed in your chest.

“And you’re my muse.”

⁺˚*·༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺

A/N: two more parts and an epilogue m’dears :)

taglist: @melting-obelisks @retropetalss @hgmercury39​ @topsecretdeacon @joemazzmatazz @perriwiinkle @brianmays-hair @im-an-adult-ish @ilikebigstucks @doing-albri @killer-queen-87 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @archaicmusings @cloudyyspace @annina-96 @themarchoftherainbowqueen @annajolras​

Masterpost / Part 16 / Part 18

[ryttu3k]

Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

[captcas]

Thinks of Her

THINKS OF HER by capthamm

Deployment is easier when there isn’t anyone waiting for you at home.

I honestly have no idea where this came from. Maybe just some general 4am angst to start off the weekend? You know the stuff. 

One-shot; 1429 words; read on ao3

Emma squeezes him around the waist, as though suffocating him will somehow prevent the inevitable.

Flight 5680 to Washington, D.C.. now boarding at Gate C.

Killian feels her tense under the weight of the disembodied voice counting down their final moments together. He kisses the top of her head, desperate to comfort her in anyway he can.

Nine months abroad is much more doable when there isn’t anyone waiting for you at home.

The stares of passers by who notice the uniform and attempt to emphasize with their pain in the nano moments of a glance are almost as constricting as Emma’s increasingly tight hold. He knows he has to go, but this was much easier when Emma said goodbye the night before with the rest of their friends— when he was in love with her despite her not really being his.

He feels her shudder in an attempt to withhold a sob and knows he has to go before he says fuck the Navy— god how he wishes he could say fuck the Navy. Instead, he whispers softly into her hair, “Emma, love, the plane is boarding.”

She doesn’t speak, simply nods into his chest before pulling back to look him in the eye. When blue meet emerald, he feels the air escape his lungs— her water rimmed irises catching the light. His Swan is truly stunning, even in this state.

He briefly thinks back on the speed at which they arrived where they are today— slowly and then all at once, like some bloke sat on the fast forward button with ten minutes left in the movie. When he left for his last deployment, they had shared a kiss and nothing more. Each of them had been drinking, but not so much to fog the memory of their shared dalliance. As quick as it happened, it was over. Emma assuring him it was all sexual tension and emotions over him leaving again— a one time thing.

As you wish.

When he returned 18 months later, it was to a woman far more broken than the one he’d left. A ghost from her past resurfacing and disrupting the life of her and her son. He offered kindness and a shoulder to cry on as any friend would do and she accepted him willingly. The rest of it was inevitable really.

Killian had loved her since they were 15 years old and she punched Walsh in the face for calling Ruby a slut. If he’s honest with himself, it was probably a long time coming, but in that moment he knew there would be no one else. They spent years apart through deployments and college, but the small gang of friends they’d collected over the years always seemed to find themselves back in Storybrooke whether they wanted to be or not. It was the one constant in all their lives and Killian knew that acted like a magnet for each of the lost souls that found a bit of themselves in each other.

He found a lot of himself in Emma Swan.

Final call. Flight 5680 to Washington, D.C. now boarding at Gate C.

The urgent voice snaps him out of his nostalgia, and he sees Emma go from emotional to all business just as suddenly. “Ok, Jones, you’ve got your papers, your passport, your pillow, and your charger so you can text me when you land?”

Killian chuckles sadly at her ability to shove emotion aside in an instant— knowing full well they’ll both breakdown over the invisible weight of an empty bed later that night. Who knew two months with someone next to you would make a lifetime of sleeping alone feel foreign?

“Yes, love. I’ve got everything.”

“If you forget anything, I—“

“Will send it. I know, Swan. I really need to be on my way or Robin will kill me.” He chuckles at the mention of his commanding officer, but then Killian can feel the sadness sweep over his features, mirroring hers almost perfectly.

“I suppose so. Henry stuffed a few stowaways in your bag so make sure you bring those home safe.”

She’s deflecting and he doesn’t blame her. They haven’t even had time to explore what this is and he’s leaving. He won’t leave Emma, not permanently, not the way everyone else has, and she knows that, but he’s positive the residual pain is what’s controlling her actions now. Put your walls up and never get hurt.

“I will, love.” He knows he’s committing to more than returning the stuff crocodile Henry most likely stuck between his civies and uniforms, but Killian expects that to be the end of it when she speaks again.

“I honestly don’t care about the fucking crocodile— come home safe, Killian.”

A tear streams down her face and he can’t take it anymore, grabbing each cheek and pulling her in for a kiss. It’s messy and wet, the salt water from their tears mixing as their lips touch. They break for air and rest their foreheads together. He’s about to speak when she takes a deep breath, “I love you, Killian Jones.”

His heart does a backwards loop at the words he’s longed to hear for 16 years now. Killian somehow forms a coherent sentence— probably because it’s the most absolute truth he’s ever spoke, “And I you, Emma Swan.” He gives her one more kiss before pulling away, the loss of contact immediately jarring. She must feel it too as she wraps her arms around her own waist, tucking her hands into her sleeves.

He double checks he has everything before giving her one last glance. “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”

There’s a twinkle in her eye followed by a simple, “Good.” before they both turn away, subconsciously agreeing there’s nothing left to say.

. . .

Killian is a lot of things but a liar is not one of them. He does think of Emma every single day. After D.C., he was shipped off to Japan, working on a Naval base with the crew he’s come to know as family over the last 13 years. He can’t tell Emma where he is, and being at sea makes it hard for correspondence anyway. His thoughts of her are the only thing keeping loneliness at bay.

He thinks of her as the constellation Cygnus rises over the ship late one night. He thinks of her as they dock at small islands which, for all intents and purposes, don’t exist in her world. He thinks of her as the sea breeze blows through his hair, reminiscent of her hands in the dark of his bedroom. He thinks of her as he meets new people, nameless and faceless to her, but real as the sea to him. He thinks of her, willing a closeness he knows will only be possible when his time is up.

He thinks of her as the boat is ambushed. He thinks of her as he dives into the water. He thinks of her as he uses the last of his energy to swim— a lifeboat just far enough away for the salt water to begin burning his lungs. He thinks of her as they send up flares into the sky. He thinks of her as the ladder is dropped from the helicopter. He thinks of her as he sits safely wrapped in a blanket.

He’s never had someone to think of before.

That’s why when Robin asks him if he wants to continue his deployment, the Naval higher-ups giving them they option after what happened, he thinks of her.

For the entire plane ride and seemingly endless walk through the terminal at Logan International, he thinks of her.

It’s the first time in five months of thinking of her, that she materializes in front of him. One arm around Henry who seems to be showing off a homemade “Welcome Home” sign, and the other held up to her mouth as she nervously bites at her nails. Henry spots him first and Killian is positive this looks like the scene out of some sappy Nicholas Sparks novel that Emma reads with Mary Margaret. He doesn’t care in the slightest.

Until this moment, the startling difference between thoughts of her and the real Emma Swan had only been conjecture. He is no longer content with simple thoughts. While he vowed long ago to think only of her everyday of his life, in that moment, squeezed by her and her son, he silently vows to do so right from her side.

[dorevenge]

where ignorance is bliss - chapter 4: except the willow

SUMMARY: Maria is forcefully escorted from the betting room, when she encounters the owner of the casino himself.  [AO3 LINK]

CHAPTERS: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 ☆

November 20, 1959 – Monaco, France, The Hellfire Club

I’ve never thought about my what last words would be. I had always assumed I would be 98, having aged better than brie, lying in bed surrounded by my family, my curls perfectly falling around my face, with a pristine pale pink lipstick and pearls on my neck and diamonds on my ears. I’d have outlived my husband, as I’ve always flocked towards older men, but I would see him reflected in my great-grandchildren, one of whom would have shared my philanthropic interests. I’d leave them all with some well-planned poetry, a single sentence that would change every one of their lives, resound in them and inspire them to change their actions for the better, but, as of now, due to my arrogant foolishness, my last words were to be “I’d rather stay here and keep losing.” And no one would remember them.

Thick arms wrap around mine, hiking me up by the armpits, and I am escorted out of the casino and through the hotel lobby, my high heels scrambling to make purchase on the ground below me. The few people scattered in the lobby pause to look at me, and then keep walking. The fun from the baccarat game has dwindled, the rosiness falling from my cheeks and panic settling in my chest. I couldn’t pull against them; there’s no way I could win in a fight even with some of Peggy’s training. I should have taken her up on her thigh holster offer.

The men stop briefly at the front desk. “What room is Ms. Carbonell staying in?”

“Obadiah won’t let you get away with this,” I grit, my arms pinned behind my back.

“Mr. Stane is currently preoccupied.” One of the men asks for a spare key, and the desk attendant fumbles in the cabinet to find the correct one.

A man in glasses walks past, tall but not intimidating, broad-shouldered but not bulky, nose buried in a pile of papers in his hands, and glances up, pausing to evaluate the scene. Our eyes make contact, and it takes him a second to evaluate my panic.

“Do you need any help, madam?”

“She’s fine,” one of the suited men replies. I’m too startled to scream, or speak, or even think at all. All I can hope is that someone in the lobby reads my face and intervenes. Grumbling, they forgo the key, and pull me out of the hotel lobby towards the parking lot.

This is how I’m going to die, I think, reminiscing what a waste finishing school was since I never learned to hold my tongue anyway, and it is my penchant for petty remarks sending me to an early grave. I can’t keep up with their pace, my high heels catching in almost every dent in the asphalt, and I almost lose my balance several times.

We approach a long, sleek black car with darkened windows, and I finally start calling out, “Obie! Obadiah!” to the empty parking lot, writhing against the arms around me.

“Ms. Carbonell! I think you dropped an earring.” The voice comes from behind. It’s the man in glasses, walking swiftly, with authority, except for the little cowlick of dark black hair on the right side of his head, twirling in the breeze as he stalks forward.

The men holding me turn to confront him as he takes off his glasses and slides them into his breast pocket. The men’s postures drop and their faces fall. Their grip on me lessens. He runs a hand through his hair and stares them down.

“Mr. Stark.”

“Release Ms. Carbonell at once.”

“We’re sorry, Mr. Stark, she-”

“You do know what at once means, don’t you, boys?”

They release me.

“I cannot apologize enough, Ms. Carbonell, for the behavior of these men. If they offend you again, I will personally write to their employers.” He looks at each one of them sternly, in turn.

One of the men stiffens defiantly. “We didn’t recognize you, Mr. Stark. In the betting room-”

“When you are the one who owns the casino, only then should you be concerned about its finances.” Stark’s stern face softens when he turns to me, offering me his elbow. He nods at each man with authority, and they shrink away. My heart is still racing, and I still must not be thinking straight, because I loop my arm through his, my life in the hands of yet another stranger.

-

The dinner at one of the restaurants inside Hellfire is delectable, but dining with the owner probably helps. There were too many options on the menu that I eventually pointing to something at random and ordered that. I had very little to say, besides non merci to the waiters who kept offering us champagne and thanking Mr. Stark for his kindness. The anxiety has set into my bones and I can’t help but fidget.

“I already told you, Maria, just call me Howard.” Up close, I can see that he’s older, probably in his forties. Creases line his eyes and mouth, probably from charming the pants off too many investors, and the investors’ wives.

“Okay, Howard, does wearing glasses actually work? To go unnoticed.” I peer at him over the top of my waterglass.

“It does. Works wonders. I had read about it in a comic and wanted to give it a try. People act different when their boss is lurking around the corner, and sometimes I just want to be a guest in my own hotel.”

A waitress clears Howard’s empty plate, leaving my full one, and she brings the dessert menu to him. Without looking at it, he hands it back to her, ordering two beignets. She asks if we need anything else, chest puffed high and smiling bright, and Howard responds in near-perfect French without looking away from me. The waiter walks away, dejected, her hopes of charming the billionaire dashed.

I pick at the dish, too rich for my current anxious appetite. My anxiety hadn’t run out of fuel yet. “What’s eating you, doll?”

“Why were those men watching me? And where were they going to take me? I wasn’t cheating.”

“I know you weren’t cheating.”

“You know? How?”

“There are cameras everywhere in the game rooms, tiny ones in lamps and plants and around every corner. They can tell when someone is cheating, and your moves seemed very intentional. And putting money in my pocket isn’t exactly cheating.” I don’t ask how the cameras would be able to tell, as I’ve been to two of his expos now and haven’t understood any of the gadgets presented. Any explanation would just go over my head. I wonder how many cameras litter the restaurant.

He doesn’t answer my question and instead asks one of his own. “Why were you spending your partner’s money like that?”

My partner. That’s right, I am technically in business with Obadiah; we’ve kept our short engagement to ourselves, and he’s always introduced me as his accountant. I slide my hands into my lap to hide the ring on my finger, and slide the ring off once it’s out of view. “My answer to your question might be the same as your answer to mine.”

Howard’s face lights up, and he leans forward on the table to get a better look at me. “So you’re clever, too, and not just pretty.” He doesn’t ask it like a question, but a statement, and I try with all my might not to blush like a child. The waitress returns and clears our plates, bringing the dessert he ordered. Howard leans back with a sigh. “I’ve kept my eye on Stane for the last few years. Not a bad man, but not a great one. Desperate. I was desperate, too, for a while, ‘til I realized the only thing that gets you anywhere is hard work. That’s how America does it.”

“He says while dining in France.”

“Hey, I paid for the meal in America dollars, doll.” His smile is wide, and honest, and youthful and endearing and… and it belongs to Howard Stark, notorious womanizer. Still, I find myself smiling in return, chin propped up in my hand, gazing at him. I can’t get caught up in his displays of wealth, but his confidence is something else. Obadiah isn’t confident like Howard. Howard has confidence to spare. He could bottle it and sell it, and convince everyone he met to buy it, that’s how confident he is. “How long are you in Monaco?”

“I leave November 22nd. Obadiah has had long meetings every day.”

“And because he leaves you alone in your room, you squander his earnings at the betting table in retaliation?” I look up at him, in surprise and defense, and he chuckles to himself.  “If I were him, I’d bring you to every meeting with me. You belong in the business room. What do you do at Stane International?”

“I keep the books. Accounting. I went to Columbia.” I want to impress him.

“And what do you do when you’re not working?”

“I work a lot with charities.”

“When you’re not working.”

“I suppose I dine with handsome strangers in foreign hotels.”

Howard takes one bite of the dessert delivered, then wipes his hands and rises to his feet. “Let’s go have some fun, Maria.”

-

“You’re only here for one more full day, is that right?” Howard asks me from the rooftop of the Hellfire Club. “Spend it with me. Obadiah won’t mind.”

He’s right; Obie wouldn’t even notice, and I don’t feel guilty for accepting. “What do you have in mind?”

We sit up there for hours, talking until sunset, the wind licking at his hair, teasing it from the gel. The soft colors of dusk make Howard look younger. I want to kiss him, I realize, and I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone before. At least, not like this. I push the feeling down deep. Every woman wants to kiss Howard Stark, with his deep brown eyes and his even deeper pockets. And if he wants to kiss me, he’ll have to work for it.

As if reading my mind, he whispers, “God, Maria, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’d give it all up just to kiss you.”

“Does that line usually work?” I turn away. I feel like a child in his gaze, naïve and eager.

“I don’t know. I’ve never used it before.” I don’t look at him, but I can feel his eyes on me. I fix my gaze hard on the horizon in front of me. After a moment, “Actually, I take it back. I don’t want to kiss you until I’ve earned it. I want to do right by you, Maria. I’ll become an honest man for you.”

I want to believe him, but I also believe the stories. I don’t know what makes me so special in Howard’s eyes, but I feel more seen with him than I ever did with Obadiah, and it’s the last sign I need to leave him.

[hatsukeii]

Another song inspired scenario!

Okay this time it’s haikyuu.

And it’s gonna be angsty. Fr this time.

Heather// Tsukishima Kei

Word count: 1830

Trigger warning: Suicide, implications of self harm, little to no swearing

Summary: Tsukishima writes down three final notes.

Another day. This was just another day for Tsukishima. 

His life had been exceptionally shitty these months. Who knew it was this easy to get so depressed? Who would’ve predicted the death of his perfectly healthy dad, days after his parents divorced? Did anyone eventually figure out why he stopped wearing short sleeved shirts? Why he came to practice with a bottle of pills? Why he started falling asleep in class? Why the counsellor had to constantly pull him out of class? Why he started skipping practice without coach Ukai or Takeda sensei questioning it? Or perhaps why he started wearing his sports wristband everywhere?

The biggest question of all, how did you succeed in shattering his cold and measly little heart to pieces? The scene replayed like a broken record in his head, looping everything that hurt him. The way you were pulled away by Kageyama. How he held your hand. It looked perfect, engulfing yours easily. The way you ran up to him trying to apologise for your indirect rejection every single day, failing to do so every time as he walked away from you, not even sparing a glance. The time when Kageyama kissed you in front of the crowd during the win against Seijoh as he watched, Yamaguchi comforting him from behind. Millions of irritatingly negative voices swarmed around his head constantly, buzzing like flies, refusing to let him forget about you for even a second.

This was just another day.

Just another day, as Tsukishima walked past the crowded hallways, squeezing his way into his classroom. Just another day, where he would see you and Kageyama act all lovey dovey and shit in front of your locker. He walked into the classroom, seemingly unbothered as you cuddled the raven haired boy. How he wished he was the one that held you. All he wanted was to be the one that made you feel special. That possibility was long gone. He regret everything. He regret befriending you. He regret opening up, trusting you with his life, only to be disappointed again. He hated all of it. If he could, he’d just burn it all. Burn all his problems to the ground. Burn your image. Burn the memories. That way maybe he wouldn’t have to think about it. Maybe he forgot the part where he’d have to get rid of the ashes too. Because no matter how hard he tried to convince himself life was going to be okay, it always found a new way to screw him over again. Of course it did, what was he expecting anyways? For life to become instantly easier because of one traumatic event he had to go through?

This was just another normal day. Going to lunch with Yamaguchi like usual, his mom’s leftover strawberry shortcake sitting there in his lunch container. “Tsukki, you feeling any better?” There were two options in front of him. Tell Yamaguchi the truth, and disappoint him, or lie, and let him think that he was doing something in helping to mellow out his depression. What did he have to lose anyways? “Yeah, I’m doing a bit better I guess.” His freckled friend gave him a tiny grin, playfully punching his side as the blond forced a smile on his face. “Nice Tsukki! I’ll help you get better, as will your brother and your mom, so don’t worry too much!” Get better? So what if it gets better? Doesn’t life and luck just find a way to let things “get better,” then rip it all away from him anyways? 

“Tsukishima!” 

Ah of course. Just like any other day, you somehow found a way to get to him. His heart clenched at your voice as he turned around. “Go talk to her Tsukishima. Please.” Yamaguchi urged him on. Behind you was Kageyama, grumpy expression plastered on his face as always. The two boys glanced at each other, Tsukishima’s bored ones meeting an icy cold glare. A glare that said one too many words. “She’s mine.” “Don’t you try taking her away from me.” “You don’t stand a chance.” A sigh emitted from the blond’s mouth. “No.” Yamaguchi visibly frowned. “But Tsukki! You have to talk to her one way or another!” Tsukishima scoffed. “Who said I was obligated to do that? I can do whatever my heart damn well pleases.” Before Yamaguchi could even protest, his friend had already turned around, and walked away, headphones already on his head. He had once again walked away from help. Once again pushed everyone that cared away. That was what he wanted to do.  Push everyone away. That way no one could hurt you more than you hurt yourself. That was what he constantly told himself and believed.

What annoyed Tsukishima the most, was that he couldn’t bring himself to hate Kageyama fully. He just couldn’t. He didn’t know why, nor did he know how. The setter managed to kill out the last bit of hope he had with one single move. The second he saw your hands and Kageyama’s intertwined, that little ounce of hope leaked right out of his broken little heart. He was stupid. To think he ever stood a chance against the raven haired boy. To think that by getting close to you, he may have had a chance. That was his fault, not Kageyama’s. As long as you were happy, Tsukishima wasn’t going to complain. If Kageyama were to hurt you, however, he would be the first to act up. At the same time, he wouldn’t mind punching his face in once in a while either. The satisfaction that would bring him, damn.

Just like any other regular school day, he skipped practice and went straight home, as instructed by both his psychiatrist and counsellor. He opened the doors to his home, and was welcomed by none other than nobody. He hastily made his way to his room, throwing his bag down onto the ground, locking the door behind him. He peeled off the wristband, wincing in pain, before throwing it onto the floor. Teachers set him significantly less homework compared to the other students, meaning he had finished it all prior to the end of school. With hours on hand, he would usually just clean up, change, and go to sleep. No food, no nothing. 

But he had other plans for tonight.

Instead of heading to the shower, he grabbed his notebook, ripped out a few pages, grabbed a pen, and began to write. He wrote until tears started to stream down his face, until his hand cramped up and his wrist felt like death. His salty tears dropped onto the lined paper, spreading some of the ink out. When he finally finished, he re-read the three letters, before folding them and placing them neatly into three envelopes, letting them sit on his desk.

He sat in the water filled bathtub, uniform still on, an unopened bottle of rat poison he found from the bathroom cabinet in hand. Was he really about to do this? Was this what he wanted? His hand shakily reached up to the cap of the bottle, twisting it open aggravatingly slowly. He let his eyes flutter shut, placing the rim of the bottle to his lips. What would people think of him after this? What would happen to Karasuno’s volleyball team? Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he tipped the bottle and let the gross, bitter liquid flow into his mouth and down his throat. It tasted disgusting, as it should, but he kept going. He kept going until he couldn’t taste any more. He let the last drop of the poison fall into his mouth, before throwing the bottle onto the hard, porcelain floor of his bathroom, shattering it to pieces. He waited in the tub, letting the water go cold as he felt his breathing become shallow, his vision becoming hazy. Finally feeling the effects of the poison, he let his head into the water, shutting his eyes as he took his last breath, the corners of his mouth turning upwards to resemble a grin.

“Have you seen Tsukki?” Yamaguchi was fully panicking. Tsukishima never skipped school. Never. “Maybe he’s sick? I don’t know.” Everyone in your class was confused. Tsukishima Kei was absent. For once. Your form teacher walked into the classroom solemnly. She headed to her table, placing down her documents, her mascara messed up, a stained and crumpled up tissue in hand. “Don’t tell me…” Yamaguchi covered his mouth, feeling the tears start to gather around his eyelids as a knot formed in his throat. “Everyone, we will be having an emergency assembly in five minutes. Please get to the hall in an orderly manner.” The class shared a few confused murmurs, before heading to the hall. “Yamaguchi? Why are you crying?” You were beyond confused at this point. All Yamaguchi could muster up was a strained sob, followed by a few shakes of his head.

“We have gathered you here this morning, to tell you the terrible news we received from Mrs. Tsukishima.” What? What the hell happened to Kei? Was this why Yamaguchi was bawling his eyes out? “We are terribly sorry to announce that Tsukishima Kei was found dead last night by his brother, who is Tsukishima Akiteru, an alumnus of Karasuno High. The cause of his death will not be revealed as of now. Kageyama Tobio, Yamaguchi Tadashi, and Y/f/n please meet me backstage right now, everyone else, you may leave for your respective classes. Please refrain from disturbing these three students about the situation.” 

No.

This can’t be.

There was no way he would’ve done that.

This has to be a joke. 

Yamaguchi was hunched over next to you, now sobbing uncontrollably after reading his letter. 

“Why? Tsukki, you said you were doing better? Was it all a lie? Why would you lie to me like that? What were you thinking?”

Kageyama’s head hung low, his eyebrows furrowed as he re-read the letter to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

A copy of a letter was handed to you by the principal.

To:  Y/n

By the time you read this, I’d have gone out the same way my old man did. I don’t know what you’re doing, nor do I know how you’re feeling, but I just want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not letting you apologise all those months. I regret not acting quicker than Kageyama. If you’re crying right now (which you probably aren’t), I want you to stop. Wipe those tears from that pretty face of yours, and forget about me. Forget I ever existed. But please just remember,

I love you.

From: Kei

Your tears stained the paper as you dropped it, a knot seemingly making its way into your throat as you fell to the floor, whimpering and sobbing like a madwoman.

Why? Why did this happen?

Perhaps it was because yesterday wasn’t just any other day.

References:

Heather- Conan Gray

1 SIDED LOVE- Blackbear

Suicidal thoughts- The Notorious B.I.G.

Lyrics to all three of the songs

A lot of worrying google searches

Hi yes I love making you sad and I love making people depressed.

I’m sorry.

Not.

Tags:

@poppirocks @caxsthetic @burnt-tomato @writeiolite @atsumus-squeling-pig @just-another-bored-writer @for-ests @bokutokoutarou @artsamber @thirstyvolleyballhoe

[aspiestvmusings]

WV 2: QUESTIONS

The things that were never fully explained or answered on the show.

Some will be answered/revealed in future MCU projects, but some might forever remain a mystery. 

QUESTIONS THE SHOW NEVER FULLY ANSWERED FOR ME, SO I “ANSWERED” THEM MYSELF:

                             *************************

BEEKEEPER: 

What happened to the beekeeper from ep 2? Did he become one of the characters on the sitcom? Was he thrown out of the hex like Monica? Did he get erased from existence? Was re has “rewind” aka went back to the sewers & has been looking for a way out ever since? Is it possible that she turned him into a poster in the library...seen when Visions enter the library for their “word battle”? (because this is the only bee reference I’ve noticed & that poster was not there during the ep 2 neighborhood watch meeting, so...) Did he turn into the ice-cream guy in ep 3? 

                             *************************

MISSING PERSON: 

Who was the missing witness protection person Jimmy was searching for? Why did he or anyone else mention him again? Did the “sitcom case” take priority or what? Did he see the person on the show, but never mention it..to others/viewers...because he has to keep their identity a secret? Did we never see the person?

Unless it’s random...just to get the story starting, I see three most likely options:

a) Ralph Boehner - he is an actor or his new identity is an actor. Is he a skrull? (people keep saying he cant be the witness protection person, cause the headshot indicates he’s an actor & when you’re “in hiding” you don’t get assigned a cover/alias where you go out & be visible like actors on auditions. But... that headshot was old...of younger “Ralph”, so I’d say still possible & his cover-story is that he was an actor, but failed, and he doesn’t do that anymore)

b) mailman - he seemed sketchy to me til the end. Is he a skrull? Is he the witness?

c) “Vision” or “Wanda” - it was just one of Hayward’s tricks....to have  a reason to set up the camp  & all that. Hence why Jimmy couldn’t find any info on him...why no-one he contacted knew anything.

                             *************************

WV DOESN’T EXIST: 

What was the “memory loss” of those two cops & the missing persons relatives/associted all about? As Monica put it: why did these others people have no memory of WV or the missing person, but she & Jimmy did? Who & how was controlling those people or why didn’t they remember? (the cops thought the place is EastView, & a place like WestView does not exist. And others thought that the person X from witness protection does not exist even if he was supposed to be their “family member”) Why did some remember & some not? Everyone on the base seemed to be aware of the place, but pehaps it was somehow erased from everyone elses memory and/or existence?

Is it some sort of memory loss? Brainwashing? Wanda’s/someones mind-controlling? Something else? Agatha’s doing? Maybe she erased their memories/made them mix up things when she arrived to the hex & wanted time to investigate on her own before others arrived?

                             *************************

FIETRO: 

Fietro is Ralph, Agnes husband? The house is his, Agatha just took over & made him move to the “man-cave attick”? But who is this Ralph anyway? Does that headshot indicate he’s an actor? And that he was just cast in a role...much like Trevor Slattery was in IM3 (I personally loved that twist...maybe cause I love Ben Kingsley!). But perhaps there is more to him...than just a joke name? Or does he have that headshot cause he’s the witness protection person? Is his cover-story that he’s a failed actor (who has old headshots of himself,  but doesn’t act anymore)? 

                             *************************

THE NOSY NEIGHBOUR: 

What’s that gonna be like? What will Ralph think of this stranger living in his house, calling him her husband... Did Wanda trap her into the same house & role? Did she cast that spell correctly - will it work after hex is gone (based on her quick learning curve I'd say yes...the made sure the role extended also outside the hex). How will the townspeople react to her? Will they recognize her as an outsider... if she really did come there only after Wanda created the hex? Or are they only mad at Wanda & see Agnes as their hero? Will they remember the events of WV anomaly...or not? Based on Wanda’s promise “no one will bother you”, I’d say everyone will just remember Agatha as the nosy neighbour Agnes & no-one will know/remember seeing her fly & do witchy stuff?

How will that work? Were the peoples memories not wiped, so they know/remember that they saw this person fight Wanda, saw her powers? Will they know she's  witch, even if one "locked inside a character"? Will they then see her as their hero, freeing them from Wanda & try to free her from this "punishment"? Is there a witch among them who will try this? Will they go look for someone who could do that?  Does the line "no one will bother you" mean that everyone will act as if she is Agnes & that's how it'll work. And where will "Agnes" live? And what will she do? 

Will Jimmy & Monica handle that side? Giving her a "fake identity" (Is Agatha the missing witness protection person that no ones ever heard of? And Jimmy's search was a scene cut from the future, trandsported to the past/present?) Cause unless  Monica & Jimmy handle that side it's just gonna be weird...a 400-year-old witch with no ID just showing up in a random guys house climing she's the wife & "moving in" just like that...

But...since she seems to known a lot about the book & darkness then I’d say Wanda needs to consult her at some point. Or...since the broach was still part of her outfit...perhaps it serves as a key to help break Wanda’s spell and set her free. Maybe she’ll get help from someone?

                             *************************

AGATHA’S BROACH: 

When Wanda turns Agatha into "Agnes, the nosy neighbour" to play the role...forever, why does she not change her broach/why does the broach not change along with the rest of her outfit? Did she decide to not change it or did something prevent it from doing so? It's the broach Agatha took from her mom (a wicth) after killing her, it's the one she's worn throughout her stay in Westview.

                             *************************

AGATHA’S ARRIVAL: 

IF Agatha told the story correctly & she arrived to WC after Wanda created the hex...cause she sensed the magic, then how did no other witch seem to sense it & why was she able to enter the hex and do it without it altering her mind? Why exactly did the hex not affect Agatha in that way? How Was Agatha able to come there & bring her book with her?

When did she set up the secret witch-cave in the basement? Was it just an illusion...created as a show for Wanda? Or did she do all that during the frist episodes/days? Or was the basement real & already there? In that case...whose house is it & what’s that all about?

                             *************************

HOW DID AGATHA KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT WANDA? 

She seemed to know certain details. Were those all public knowledge (death of her brother, etc) and hence she could access the info? Did she “see” it through Wanda’s dreams & nightmares...that every person in the city was “watching in their heads”? Or did she use some kind of magic or tricks? Or have some ..sources? 

Though she seemed to know some details she was also unaware about many others, so...IDK. Possible that she knew of the bits that were public knowledge... from news, newspaper articles...

                             *************************

THE BUNNY: 

Was the purring & insect/bird eating just one of Agatha’s illusions/tricks, or is there more to that cerature? If it wasn’t just your regula pet then my money is on it being a Flerken (Goose...because Scratchy!)...which would make either Agatha and/or Ralph a skrull...in disguise. Or some sort of familiar or scary monster...turned into a bunny by Agatha. Cause no way that’s a regular pet bunny... it eats insects/birds! 

PS. The creators have confirmed that there were plans for the rabbit. There was a scene shot that revealed its true identity. The bunny was supposed to turn into a demon. But that scene was cut...for reasons. 

                             *************************

SKRULLS: 

OK...we got one more skrull revealed (one of the FBI is a skrull) in WV. We got two in FFH...which happens 8 months from now in MCU. Who else?

But are/were there more...and we just don’t yet?

                             *************************

MAILMAN/DELIVERY GUY?

What was really up with the pizza-delivery-guy turned into messenger (aka Wanda’s script csting her in several roles & him doing three jobs at once, being always on the move, never getting to rest - mailman, courier, delivery guy...for different companies)

I do not know if the mailman is also Jimmy's witness protection person (a courier/pizza delivery person might be a nice low-key job they would set up for such person?], but it does seem that Wanda cast her in all "delivery" roles. So he was pulling tripple-duty: mailman, courier... so he was exhausted, because he was always delivering something somewhere. Working many jobs at once. But... mostly I think the mailman was one of the chracters on a loop. While the people at the edge of the city were on a short loop...repeating the one move over & over, he seems to have been on a wide range loop. He was circling the town all the time. 

But... mostly I think the mailman was one of the chracters on a loop. While the people at the edge of the city were on a short loop...repeating the one move over & over, he seems to have been on a wide range loop. He was circling the town all the time. But mostly, his lines were on the loop. In the final episode he repeats his very first line. Meaning he was fed only like 5 lines of dialogue and after each was used once, he started from the beginning again. This is why he says "Don't shoot, I'm just the messenger" in ep 2 & again in ep 9.

                             *************************

DOTTIE: 

Was Dottie a red herring presented to the viewers in reality & MCU reality? By shows creators for us & by Agatha for Wanda and those watching Wanda’s broadcast? Was Agatha just trying to mess with Wanda, draw direction  away from herself by pointing to someone? Cause she claimed Dottie is the key to everything in WV? When she wasnt...based on what we learned. Was she really just used as a misdirection by Agatha...to fool Wanda (and us)? 

Based on the Season Finale it seems she was just a misdirection? But perhaps there is a reason that she seemed to be the one & only WV person, who after being freed from the mind-control didn’t attck Wanda right away, but instead tried to “bargain” - she was just asking to be able to hug her daughter. She wasn’t afraid of her like the rest - she even suggested their kids could become friends... She seemed to be the only one of “main cast”, who somewhat understood her. Why? Only other person who did was Monica - other superpowered individual who had just experienced loss & was grieving. Is this was connects Dottie with Wanda? Is this the reason she tries to talk it out first? 

I found it kind of interesing & weird that when they identified Phil Jones (the piano guy) as Harold Proctor they did not automatically identify Dottie (the wife, Sarah), too? Cause they put Jones info on the board, but Doddie does not get any identification. Why/How? Did they not think of at first assuming that "couples stay together", so first to check the identified peoples family members? Or did they try to do that, and in some cases it turned out to be not helpfull? Meaning that in some cases couple/familys were not kept together [would not fit Wanda's sitcome fantasy world as perfectly?] I just found it so strange.

  I do think the identification data was kept from the board for one reason only... to have that Agnes/Agatha reveal be "surprising" to regular viewers. because comic fans & TV-viewer detectives could sense that twist coing, but regular viewers probably could not.

                             *************************

DARCY: 

Where did Darcy really go at the end? Why did Darcy actually not stick around after hitting Hayward with the car? What is she really doing? Is she one of the people who are actually skrulls? Was she missing in the end just because they tried to keep the cast to minimum, so room for “side characters” cause so mjuch was hapening? Or is there a plot reason?

Yes, this was the result of real-life scheduling issue...due to covid. But...will they also write it in as something more/other in a future MCU project? Claiming she left early for a bigger reason?

                             *************************

HAYWARD’S PLAN:

What was Hayward & SWORD really up to? In the past few years he'd changed the focus to creating/buiding sentient weapons instead of just observing. What else were they building besides "new vision"? That hangar could fit a whole spaceship or more... And why does it seem that Hayward got his hands on some Stark tech (or something similar), considering the triangular "stark reactor" on his re-built Visions forehead. How did he get his hands on all this tech? Did Stark trust Rhodey, & Firy, who trusted military & Maria & SWORD, and hence certain things were made available to them? And who works for Hayward when they were able to re-build Vision in week (from parts to whole, paintjob done, arc reactor added to head...), cause someone who knows their stuff must work for him. Who, how? Who is the "scientist" who connected that "stark reactor" to re-constructed Vision's head...in a way that it works?

  Why do some viewers keep saying that Hayward shooting the kids came out of nowhere, and was like turning the helper to a villain in that moment? Um... can a story really be interpreted in so very different ways or did they miss something? The dude tried to use a "missile" on them already in episode 5! His goal might've been to get Wanda, but the target was not alone. In that specific scene the twins are right by her side.

  Hayward is not the good guy, because he planned this all along, he tricked Wanda & the others. He lied about things, he edited footage to manipulate facts. (yes, Wanda did the same with her broadcast, I know & understand). He had his own secret agenda & he manipulated Wanda, using her grief (he admits he knows what state she is in) to manipulate her to bring Vision back online/to life. He put on a show for Wanda & tried to get her to "feel" to get her to use her power to power up his new weapon. When she doesn't do so, he has to find new ways to get her to use her powers to get what he wants. And in doing all this he goes against Sokovia accords & Vision's will. 

Sure, part of his behaviour seem to come from fear (about the threats that universe hass seen) & desperation regarding the chaos the world had been past years, but his motivation is made cler pretty early on - he wants that pat on the shoulder from big boss. He will not stop at anything to create a sentient weapon, manipulate info/date...etc. His manipulation directly lead to the hex events - he put those ideas into Wanda’s head...but he was willing to take the risk. Just like with White Vision...he was aware they might not be able to control him (still under our control? yes, still ours) but he wanted his weapon so bad he was willing to risk it...knowing that Wanda’s powers often backfire & cause trouble. 

                             *************************

THE STORK 

Who caused the glitches during Wanda's pregnancy & while she was giving birth? Was it Wanda (her subconcious...her losing control of the illusion for a moment)? Was it Agatha trying to mess up things? Was it (partially) the kids already presenting their powers...from the womb? Was it the secret big bad that was never introduced within the show (Agatha's partner/master)? 

If we assume that the red she tried to use to make the stork disappear represents her magic then it not working suggests that it was the kids behind it, because she cannot control the kids. (though she probably could't control Agatha's "messing up everything" magic either)

                             *************************

FOR THE KIDS: 

“This is all for the kids...” I do not think this had anything to do with Wanda’s kids. After the finale it seems to me that those chants were all about the kids trapped in their bedrooms... kept away from their loved ones. The kids Wanda put in isolation/quarantine...for the duration of her sitcom (minus letting then out for Halloween..) 

The “actors” were just begging her to let them see their kids. They were playing their roles, and doing it all for their kids. Since she didn’t cast any other kids, but everyone asked about chid characters she created two...whote the parts for her twins to enter the story. To me this is confirmed by “Dottie’s” plea to Wanda..

But for Wanda’s mind it translated to a different message, too, because Agatha wanted to plant ideas in her head. So while the “cast” was taling about doing it for their kids, Wanda got the idea of kids of her own thanks to Agatha’s meddling and planting those ideas into her head (she’s like a marketing department... making her buy into the ideas she planted in her head thoughout the show...to write them into next episodes...)

                             *************************

VISION AT SWORD

How & why was he there, not in Wakanda or some Avengers or Stark facility? 

I do think that why he was there makes sense. Vision died in Wakanda during the Thanos Snap battle. Tony was in space then...and would not return for the next 3 months. Bruce & all other Avengers were defeated & the world as a whole was in ruins & in chaos.

  IF the Sokovia accords dicdated that the Visions body (vibranium) belongs to US government, then that is how & why he went to SWORD right away. But it is possible that initially he stayed in Wakanda (til Tony's return) or was kept somewhere else. But even though Tony & Avengers were not always agreeing with the government, then SWORD was lead by Monica's mother Maria back then, so it is possible they trusted her, cause Fury trusted her. That's the first reason why it makes sense he wold be kept there.

  I do think that since Tony & Avengers considered him as their friend, and "human", and he had a lliving will, and they knew that Wanda was his next of kin, and she had been dusted, then that is why they did not "bury" Vision. It was not their decision. It makes sense they would keep him hidden until Wanda's return, who would give him a proper burial when she'd return. Because the team, together & seprately were all quietly working on solutions how to undo the snap...

Also...since they considered Vision "human", then I dont think any of them wanted to keep his body in ther home or office (why he wasnt in Tony's garage or at the Avengers HQ probably). Because bad guys would probably come looking for the 3 billion dollars worth vibranium there first & they probably did not have the energy to deal with that. Also...they might have decided to not simply bury the vibranium simply because of the worth. Cause they did not want some bad guys dig him up & sell him to parts...for the vibranium.

  There are several options why he was at SWORD. But I think it makes more sense that Tony & co did not bury him (not their decision..it was Wanda's & Vision's decision...and we do not know what exactly his will said about that). It also makes perfect sense why they did not keep him at Avengers HQ. Because based on Hayward's comments he wasn't moved there after Endgame battle & destruction of the headquarters, but had been there all this time. I’m prerty sure Tony & co honoured Vision’s wishes not to be brough back to life AND to leave the funeral for the “widow” to arrange...since they all were hoping for & working for the return of the blipped...

                             *************************

WHAT WAS HAYWARD TRACKING INSIDE THE HEX?

He was tracking Vision & vibranium all along. He might not have known how there was a Vision in the hex, when he had the actual vibranium in his lab, but he saw a Vision, and since 6 million worth of vibranium is better than 3 million worth of vibranium, and 2 sentient weapons is better than one (he probably was not aware that they weren't completely real?). Since Wanda "created" an actual body made of vibranium, wires, blood, bones... it was possible to track it. And I guess Hayward did bring the best to the scene, cause Darcy figured out a way to see inside the hex (discovered the broadcast), but other experts in that "clowncar"seemed to have figured out things, too.

                             *************************

WHITE! VISION: 

What happened to White Vision? Where did he go (when he flew off)?  This is the original Vision - the one made of vibranium, a mix of Jarvis + Ultron + Tony + Bruce + other elements....minus teh mind stone. The one Wanda fell in love with. He has the physical body, he has the memories. He had his memories, but could not access the file...until Hex Vision unlocked access to that file & those memories. He remembers everything...up until Thanos. The only part missing is the Mind Stone...but as we learned in A3... he can survive without it, cause theres still a lot of “him” left without it. But he is probably still missing one element...the emotional connection w. Wanda (”soul”), hence I don’t see WV reuniting right away in next fim/project. What is he now? He recognized that he is (a) Vision & he, too, is the real one.

Did all the data coming in at once just overload his operating system & he needed to cool down? Did he go to find answers to Wakanda...where the vibranium in his is from, where he “died”, where he remembers Shuri separating the differents parts of him....to regain the missing bits...)? Did he go on a search for a mind stone? Did he still have that command “destroy Vision & Wanda” on his to do list Hayward gave him...and he went to destroy...himself? Did getting his memories back make him realize that if he wants to re-connect to Wanda, he needs the mindstone? Because while the team theorized in A3 that he can exist without it, I kinda think that Wanda & Vision connected “through” their shared element...the mind stone. I do not know if it has to be physically on his forehead. Maybe the “energy” from the piece inside Wanda will be enough? But...I do think that just like with the disassembled Vision at SWORD Wanda can not feel the White Vision...hence they had him leave, not stick around. 

Based on his eyes changing from robot to human after he gets his memories back I’d say he is free of SWORDS control. This is why I think he just went to search for the truth/answers. Because... when Hex Vision wanted answers, he went to look for them from the “outside world” & to do that he had to go past an OCTAGON - the “stop” sign before the hex border. And the Colourless Vision flew through an OCTAGON shaped glass ceiling to get out of there. Hayward said “He really wants out, doesn’t he?” when Hex Vision was trying to break free from Hex & “Wanda’s control” to find answers and to help people. I think this is exactly what this new version of Vision did. And the similar shape as an “exit point” symbolises this. “I want to break free” was the song paying inside his head. 

My main guesses are:

a) this Vision either went to Wakanda...where the vibranium his body is made of is from...and where he died... and since Shuri is back after the Blip, he might go for his “scan”... cause Shuri can provide him with more answer on himself. 99% 

b) that he followed the command from Hayward & since he know knew who he was (I am Vision), he destroyed himself. He now knows that he is Vision (he realized that he is Vision...which is more than original Vision did. His identity at first was I am...), so he is self aware...  0,1% possibility

c) or other options are that he just needed time to process everything and/or his returned memories told him he must leave Wanda time to go through some things... Too much data process at once, system overload...when Hex Vision overflooded him with all the memories...

I am still unsure how to read the moment where Hex Vision awakens White Vision... was he just giving him access to the secret memory dat/files or was he also trnsfering his own memories with Wanda/his soul into the version he knew would remain while he would be gone?

But if we are to believe that just like we the MVU universe doesn’t know about him until months later (Spidey 3, Dr. Strange 2), then most likely answer is Wakanda.

                             *************************

THE TWINS: 

What is the origin of Wanda’s kids really? We saw that she actually did create vibranium for Hex Vision’s body. Cause the two Vision were equal in every way & SWORD tracked two vibranium objects, so...he is a copy of the original in a way. So she can create things from “nothing” (unless it’s actually not nothing, and she’s pulling the materilas from somewhere or something... cause even in MCU laws of physics should exists/apply?) So did she create the kids from “nothing”? Or are the kids real in a way that 50% of their origin comes from Vision. We know Vision can take human form. We know this Hex Version had maybe even more human in him (of blood and bone) than original? And...we saw Vision CRY. He can cry, so if he is able to produce tears...whose to say he can’t produce other bodily fluids? To get technical about it. Maybe in this fictional superhero world things that are impossible in real world aren’t so? Maybe “robots” can evolve to be able to actually have offspring...even if said robots themselves are confused about how that’s possible (ep 3)?

But...then we have Wanda thanking the kids for choosing her as their mom &  that post end scredits scene with SW reading the darkhold & hearing her kids cal her for help. Was it her memory? Was is a dream? Were they actually calling for her help..cause they’re stuck..somewhere (other dimension?) This, along with all the devil/nightmare etc references throughout WV seems to hint towards the MCU taking more than just loose idea from the comics. Maybe Wanda did...knowingly or unknowingly use "Devil’s” soul to create her kids? Cause... Fietro was under Agatha’s control, and she knows the history, so why would Fietro make those “demon spawn” references otherwise? I’m thinking the MCU & MOM might go that route...that this is how they were created...

But... I do think that even if this is the route MCU takes (copying comics), the end scene of WV showed something very important. Wanda, Vision, Billy, Tommy...they became a family. And if they are not actually biological offspring of Wanda & Vision, then that end scene showed us exactly what makes a family, and a parent. Who did the kids call mom & dad? = Wanda & Vision. Because these are the two people, who are their parents, because biology doesn’t make one a parent. 

And we saw Wanda seeing what a wonderful dad Vision was. From the “proud Papay-a” joke...til the “I’m proud of you” & good night kiss... His journey was complete - he was experiencing the loss of  loved one (throwback to their old conversation on grief)

                             *************************

THE TWINS - POST CREDITS: 

Where are the kids? What did Wanda hear in the end credits scene? Is it her nightmare? Is it her “imagination”? Is it real & the boys are “trapped” somewhere & actually calling for her & she can sense them...from another place & time (whoi took them & where are they in that case)? Is she trying to bring them back/re-create them...but this time without the restrictions of the hex (get the spell right, not cast a flawed one that had limitations)

                             *************************

HEX! VISION - FATE: 

If the boys are “alive” then what happened to the Hex Vision? Does he, too, exist somewhere is some form? Is he trapped somewhere, too? Or...is he now just a memory...without a physical form (until she re-creates him, again, too...when she’s learned how to do it without flaws like tying his existence to a dome)?

                             *************************

DR. STRANGE?: 

Where was Dr. Strange during the events of WandaVision? If Agatha could sense the hex/spells, then why & how could Strange not? Why was he not there? Why wasn’t he monitoring the situation? Or...if he was (just not shown to us yet) then I hope we get his POV on the situation. Or was Wanda somehow blocking him from sensing the anomaly and/or her? (then we have to wonder how Agatha sensed it or is she sensed it at all..cause how did she enter the hex & remain herself & uncontrolled? - can & does that happen/apply only to “superpowered beings”?) Cause I was surprised that we did not get a direct reference to him (no post credits cameo) considering his role in MCU... And I cannot wait for it to be explained in MOM.

Was he aware of the events? Was he busy with bigger issues and hence didn’t intervene? Did he monitor the situation from afar? Did he not intervene for a purpose (cause he looked further into future when he still had the time stone & knew how it ends etc)..because he needed this to play out..just like he needed Endgame events to play out? Perhaps he was playing the long game, and did not deal with it, because he needed Wanda to become the Scarlet Witch.... a more powerful being that he is? Pehaps he is aware that he needs her on his team to fight aginst a threat he alone cannot win against? So he had to let everything play out as it did...for Wanda to accept her true identity & become SW?

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COTTAGE - END CREDITS: 

What is that cottage about? Is it supoosed to be more like Thanos retiring to countryside after “doing the universe a huge favor”? Or more like the end of 2008 Hulk film, when HUlk goes to a cottage in the middle of nowhere to learn to control his power (anger)? Or is it more like a reference to Evil Dead and the cotttage in the forest with a “dark” book inside. 

The heroes & villains in superhero stories always end up living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, kind of “off grid” after “the big event” - Hulk at the end of 2008 Hulk film, Thanos after his Snap, Tony after losing to Thanos, but getting Pepper (and Morgan) back.... and now Wanda after Westview...

Is this supposed to be the mountains from the comics? Is this supposed to be Wandas MCU homeland? Or is this suppsoed to just represent a secluded location where she learns about herself, her abilities, etc?

                             *************************

WANDA’S AWARENESS: 

When did Wanda start to realize what she’d done & when did she become fully aware? This was not fully answered/exlained, but based on everything I’d say the turn happened in ep 3 with birth of twins + mention of reality + throwing the outsider out. Though she censored the broadcast already in ep 2 & she & Vision  both started to wonder why they can’t remember things in ep 1 already, I thought that both the plot and the commercials suggested the turn happened then. She loses control of some of the things as the birth takes a lot of energy from her. Then she hears a reference to past & reality, and that awakens her. But I think that only after she looks at her hands in a “what have I done” way when she sees the destruction after throwing Monica out does she start putting the picture together...that she did this.

But...she does not understand or know the real effect of it on the people, and the ramification of her actions until that moment in the town square in ep 9 when Agnes has freed the cast from her mind control. Her eyes are opened to the truth only then. And the moment the truth hits her...she takes action: first she attacks herself for what she did (but since everyone feels everything she feels then by choking herself she is also choking everyone else) & she starts tearing the hex down. First attempt is interrupted...for reasons. But she sets things right: she can’t take it back, but she can stop it from going on. Even if it’s not a happy ending for everyone. For people of WV it’s just like a bad dream..when it’s over they realize none of it was real. But for her & her family.... it’s not that kind of a show (with happy ending).

She goes through the stages of grief with her take on the sitcom reality: first denial, then anger & bargaining, and in the end acceptance.

                             *************************

WANDA - MoM: 

What this story told us is that Wanda is a fast learner. And though she doesn’t have an actual teacher/guide, she learns “on the move”. Agatha reveals her secrets & trade secrets to Wanda by bragging about her knowledge & tricks... which Wanda quickly learns to use against her,

I am still unsure if they’ll go "Wanda becomes evil” or “Wanda chooses to be good” route. Will her story copy Agatha’s or will she do as she said she’ll do... that she is not like Agatha. Her mom realized she cannot be good. But Hex Vision knew she can be good & even tells her “Be good” in ep 6. And she herself, after realizing the damage she’s causing, immediately tries to fix it (taking the hex down when she is told her pain is hurting others) I can still see it going either way.

I’m not sure if she as a fast learner will be able to fight the darkness or if her maternal instinct will make her make rash decisions. Will she attempt to help her kids & cause another “accident” & hence Dr. Strange must come to save the day? Or...will she turn to him for help/he will offer his help to her? But either way...seems that MOM plot will be linked to her trying to save her kids from whereever they are trapped/bringing them back...safely (remember: Agnes hinted that there was a way to bring Vision & Kids to life in a safe way...without making their existance dependant of the hex....she will try to find out what that way is.

I kind hope she will be good... not turn full villain. Because... her origins story and whole storyarc, to me, seems done so similarly to Tony. Both considered threats & villains by many - govermńments, civilians...who they’ve unintentionally hurt. Both journeys strongly connected to loss & grief. Both carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Tony turned his life around when he became aware of the concequences of his actions...even if he still made mistakes on the way... and I think they’re gonna go similar route with “Wanda”

But I think her role in MoM depends mainly on one thing - if MCU/Feige considers the TV show to be part of the full story, or separate. If it’s part, then IMO she won’t be the villain. definitely not intentional, and possibly even not unintentional (cause that’d be having her go through the exact same arc she did in WV). And I hope they dont follow the comics story here in detail, because that’s not surprising. If they’ll do what happened in comics after she “lost her kids”, then we know exactly whats gonna happen, but I expect to be surprised. And since MCU likes to do their own twist on the stories, not copy everything exactly as in comics, I hope we get a surprise twist here, too. Cause I’d be more impressed if they kept her on “learning to understand & control her new abilities to not make the mistakes shes made in past” route instead of repeting the same mistakes she’s already made (letting a villain mislead her). 

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MAKE HEX SMALLER?

Why did Wanda not leave  a small hex around her family & the house...keeping the fake reality up? At least until she figured out a way to keep them alive outside?

I am not 100% sure I understood why that was. But I believe it was explained with two things mainly: Agatha’s lesson on magic that explained some things & the fear of outsiders. Agatha told her that the fake reality she created was & would always be broken & one a spell is cast it cannot be changed, so the only way was to “undo it”, because “changing” was not an option.

And secondly...next outside force like Hayward would come & try to get their hands on her creation - the millions of worth vibranium, the superpowered individuals they could turn into weapons. And..she also knew that their happy home could not be there anymore, because in the eyes of WV people she/they were the evil, so they’d turn on the mini-hex.

Also...though she created Vision & the twins (whether in their fake reality the boys were created "naturally” or she used some kind of magic... is irrelevant here) she cannot control them - they were separate of her since start, and had free will. They would not stay inside the hex & fake reality...they would search for way out... for example, because they were looking for answers...beyond the world they were restrained to...

Sure, it seemed that when Agatha freed the townspeople from Wanda’s control during the final battle & the hex was still up, they were free of her control, so it kinda seems it would’ve been possible to untangle the hex & mindcontrolling of the people from the rest? But...IDK... 

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WANDA = “HERO OR VILLAIN”?

I think that this is another philosophical question...just like “which ship is the real one” & “which Vision is the true one?”. There is no one singular answer here. She is made of chaos AND order. She, like every human has good & bad in her. And I think seeing her as only/just either 100%r good or 100% bad means not looking at the whole picture. There is no singular “answer” here...for none of the characters. 

I think Vision was able to explain it the best to us...throughout the series. She did not intend to do this, she was not aware of doing it, and it all being subconsious...but despite that what she was doing was wrong.

The people of WV see her as evil/villain. Should they? Shoud they fear her? How & Why was no-one beside Monica able to empathize with her? Has none of them lost anyone? Was the mind-controlling worse than anything other they’ve experiences in their lives? Why did they UNINOMOUSLY turn against her? For them it was a week of “pain”, and there was an end to it. 

I can understand & “empathize” with both Wanda & people of WV. Both have suffered & been hurting. 

What she did was wrong. The people should not just forgive her right then & there and move on ike it was nothing. But if this was the final push for her to start to understand her power, then good can come of it. What happened is simply because she did not understand or know how to control her powers. She did not anticipate that by simply crying or “feeling sad” she can change reality. That her feelings affect reality essentially. Normal people when grieving sometimes lash out on people around them...she cannot do that....cause when she does it “imprisons” peoples minds and makes them her puppets...without her knowing this happens....basically.

After she became aware of it, partly, she kept the freality intact for a few reasons: she had to grant him his final wish...to grow old together, she had to finish the script/story. No one else mourned Vision, no one else “cared”. Secondly...she was not fully aware of what it did to the cast of her show (it only become obvious to her at the end). And thirdly...as Monica said: theres no knowing what will happen if they make rash decisions (what will happen to those inside & those outside the hex)...Wanda probably didn’t know either. 

IF they make her the villain, then how about this twist (not following comics) - why not make her NIGHTMARE? Because it’s “her thing”...she intentionally or intentionally gives people nightmares. Others can feel her feelings & see her nightmares... Just use the name, but change the villain.

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WHY DID WANDA “RUN & HIDE”? 

It’s the same reason why IMO she can’t just keep the hex intact just around their dream house...because there will always be another Hayward. Another government and/or villain, who wants to use Vision and/or her (superpowered individuals) as weapons, etc. 

Especially now, when Tony is not alive anymore, and the Avengers have been “disbanded”, she could not stay & be used as a “weapon”. So she fleed, and set up her own quarantine stacation. And I truly believe that her plan was to learn to understand her powers first. She did the only thing that would not hurt innocent bystanders... she removed herself from the world. Cause her powers aren’t contained by prison walls. And until she learnbs to understand & control them being on trial or prison might make her feel strongly gain and accidentally cause the next hex event. To avoid that happening she must learn to control the powers first... 

But I do believe that either unintentionally or intentionally (cause she tries to take shortcut to get her kids back) she makes mistakes along the way. The book “overpowers” her or something... That is a possibility.

To draw parallels to our real world.... I know families who have been separated because of the current state of world and who have not been in the same house, city, country or even continent...for months. Separated by “quarantine”.

                             *************************

AGATHA’S HOUSE: 

As Billy noted in 1x07 Agatha's house is quiet & Agatha herself is quiet on the inside...meaning he cannot hear her, he cannot read her mind inside the house. And he likes being in there because elsewhere it's "noisy" (in his head...as he can read minds). We know that Wanda cannot read Agatha's thoughts & cannot control her...like she does with other WV people, but it's never explained how or why. And as Fietro/Ralph notes in 1x09 to Monica - no-one can hear her screaming... from inside the house...and I think it applies to the whole house not just to the "soundproof" man-cave. 

Meaning...he is aware that the house if protected from the outside. But how  & why is that? How did Agatha protect the house from Wanda's spell/hex? How does that all work? How was she able to presumably enter the hex (without being changed), and create a space free of the spell within the spell? How did her book help her accomplish this?

AGATHA’S BASEMENT: 

Speaking of the house... why is there a safe room (man cave) in the attick? And a witch cave in the basement? Did Agatha create both environments or were they there when she moved in? Whose hosue is this really & why are there weird rooms in there? If this is Ralph's house then why does he have those places in his house? And what happens to Agatha's items after hex goes down? (the witch books, the rabbit..)

  I do not fully understand these comics themes like magic and such. So I don't fully understand what the show is telling (this fantastical magic is a myth, not science-based to me) But...if we assume that Agatha told the truth when she said that once cast, a spell cannot be broken then, then that still does not mean that other magic cannot happen within the hex. All the  powered characters proved that - Wanda & Agnes were both able to add or change things within the hex. So this is how & why Agatha was able to put her own spell on Ralph/Fietro, and their house. This is how & why Wanda could expand the hex. It didn't erase the original spells code errors, it just added more code to the spell.

It just did not change the original spell where she re-created Vision, and tied his existence to the hex...which became the stage for their sitcom. It didn’t affect the spell connecting the existence of her family to mind-controlling the “cast” into playing the roles written for them.  

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IT WAS AGATHA ALL ALONG: 

No, I'm not looking into the things she messed up during Wanda's sitcom filming. Instead I am looking into the similarities & differences between Agatha & Wanda. And whether Agatha is the "bad guy" or the "more neutral teacher". Cause their stories are similar, it's obvious they made them similar in many ways. In 1693 Agatha has gone & misused her powers because she doesn't understand them enough (it's left unclear if on purpose or by accident). This is essentially what Wanda does in 2023. Agatha's own mother does not believe she can be(come) good. Wanda's guide in all things (her moral concience) Vision never loses his faith in her and that even though she has misused her powers she must not have meant it, and that she can fix it ("Be good, Wanda.") Agatha, on the other hand, seems to urge her to use her chaotic powers...which, as we know, she knows all about...so she knows the issues that come along with them.

  So while in many ways she's been a teacher, and a guide, and a (grief) concellour to her during the hex, it does seem that she has only taken those roles for self gain. She is after the power, because that is how she becomes more powerful, and because she thinks she is more deserving of it that her/others. Even after she finds out that Wanda is destined to become the Scarlett Witch she manipulates her into using her magic. Her main motivator is left unclear - does she want Wanda to use her power and bring on the chaos the prohecy in the book says OR if she wants to become the SW herself. We saw that in 1693 her own mother was about the receive a "witch crown",  but Agatha drained her of her power...yet not receiving a crown herself. Now history repeats itself. She sees yet another witch get the crown instead of her.

  And part of me thinks that one part of her motivation is jealousy of these others being chosen insted of her. Though at the same time there are also references about her being just a messenger - doing the simple work for someone else (either she's a willing partner, being "blackmailled" into doing so, or used without her knowledge). She seems to want to avoid Wanda making her mistake of using powers beyond her knowledge...not repeating her mistake. She also seems to envy her cause what has taken her centuries to learn through hard work, she can do without even trying. And she also seems to at times "grieve" and want to bring someone important to her back to life, too. I get so many different and a bit conflicting readings from her. I am still unsure what her real motivation and plans are. Or what role she really played.

  Her plan is to "steal" Wanda's power. That's her goal since the start. But...first she must learn more about what it is she's encountered. Who is Wanda, what her powers are about, and so on. This is why she meddles with the sicom. She is doing everything she can to  make Wanda use/show her powers. She also sets the snowball rolling on the kids theme. For an undisclosed reason she needs to know what powers Wanda has, and if she can create things/life from nothing, and/or bring back the dead. This is why she reads her the women's magazine article & manipulates her to think about kids (the seduction techniques article, making Dottie & everyone chant "for the kids"). She, for whatever reason, wants Wanda to show her powers, and create life/kids. We're left to assume she needs to see them grow up fast, too. She kills the dog just to see if the kids will age themselves up again and to see if Wanda can/will bring back the dead. We can assume why she wants all this, but the real reason/plan is never revealed to us.

  Agatha promises a solution - how to fix the hex, and she knows Wanda is easily tricked, because of her denial & state of mind. She misleads Wanda, because unlike Wanda she knows there is no fix, because "once cast a spell cannot be changed/fixed". Agatha's behaviour is strange. At times it seems she made these mistakes herself, and is now trying to guide Wanda, to not repeat her mistake. Though for some reason she also does not explain what it is that she did, or why & how to not epeat her mistakes (in using magic you've not  mastered yet) Agatha is just like a vampire, but instead of blood she feeds on others powers. I though that in a way Billy & Tommy discussing if Uncle P. was a vampire can be considered a litte funny nod to this idea. Because she is essentially a "power-draining vampire"

Agatha was behind many of the things happening inside the hex (which itself was created by Wanda). She manipulated events to keep it going longer. She kept hinting at kids so that Wanda would create them. She "started rumours" (hinting at Dottie being the key, Monica being outsider), making Wanda question Monica, etc. She came up with tricks to make Vision more suspicious. She did everything she could to separate Wanda from others (divide & concour) - she sent Vision to look for answer from beyond (The Truth Is Out There! such a Mulder thing) She had her kick Monica out. She "hypnotized" Ralph & used him as a pupet. When everything else failed, she kidnapped her kids, and then trapped her in the basement where her powers wouldn't work. PS. The fact that Wanda fell for such trick (a villain using her mother instincts and her kids to trap her) is why I am not entirely sure that fan theories about MoM are correct. Would she let another villain trick her again...even if the Darkhold makes its reader "mad" & hence not logical at all... 

Also, I'm thinking it was Agatha who deleted the cops memories of Westview (if we assume she really did come from outside the hex then it makes sense she "met" the cops who came to investigate...)

I do think that Agatha's mother was correct - she is not good. Maybe she let the Darkhold compromise her, maybe she just chooses to be not good, because no-one saw her as such, so she started not just seeing herself as "not good"; but became such way. She discovered the hex and she (unlike Wanda, the SWORD team, Vision, townspeople) knew what had happened since the moment she arrived, yet she shared the info with no-one & didn't try to help anyone...because she had her own agenda. She constantly kept messing with the hex & events, which lead to more hurting to people. She caused the rift between Wanda & others, she made Vision go looking for answer, which lead to Wanda expanding the hex. This was Agatha's goal all along. She needed her to use her magic as much as possible, to show her what she can do, to give her evidence on who she is & what she can do (how she did this, how she was able to do this). None of it was cause she really cared for the townspeople, or Wanda, or her family. She's the bad guy...with a few good sides. But mostöy she helped because it advanced her own plan & end goal (get more magic for herself, become more powerful by making those she deemed unworthy powerless)

IMO her goal was not really to get Wanda to the moment when she lets everyone go & frees everyone and ends the “torture”, but to get what she herself was after. It doesn’t seem that she did the “therapy” sessions and all with the intentions of the townspeoples wellbeing in mind. Though she and her motives remained unclear, it seems that she did...all of the things she did...for her own personal gain. Cause how dare some baby witch with no training or studies do better than her...someone who has had to spend centuries studying to achieve even a fraction of what Wanda can do without any effort?

                             *************************

RALPH:

It seems that this house is Ralph's house, because the bills are in his name (with water/eletricity usage going way up just recently...after long low numbers...suggesting that the house was unhabited...so he was dusted & just came back). But what's up with the house? Why would he need a man cave like that, when Agnes is not really his wife & he is actualy the only person living in that house...until hex? And why does he have that weird basement? Who is he really? And what's his story really? [Or was the basement an illusion Agatha showed Wanda & it doesn't really look like this?] 

And if that's his real name, why laugh at it? Something is definitely up with "Ralph". Is he the witness protection person & that was his file...for him to learn his new identity, and not a reference that he's an actor and that's his headshot? And his powers were never explained. We're left to just assume that Agatha gave him the ability through the necklace. But we've never actually told if she can do that kind of magic. That's why I don't think he's just a random Ralph. But I don't also think he's "from multiverse". Though it is stil possible...

  There are things that suggest he's the witness protection person. And then there are things that speak against it. The funny name (or...is he an adult film actor, and hence the name?), the strange safe room in the house (unless Agatha created it & moved him there & soundproofed it, then it was already there...). The overdue waterbill (with spikes on usage in Feb & Sept-Oct 2020?...when i's supposed to be around Oct-Nov 2023...) seem also interesting. If the wrong year is an error from props, then ok. But if it's not, then this guy just took over some guys house & identity who used to live there..until 3 years ago... around the time SWORD changed their meaning...

I do think that unless they're trying to double-trick everyone & a reveal is coming in further future that he was actually the other Pietro, it's most likely that he isn't & was never meant to be. But I also think there's more to him than just some random Ralph, whose house Agatha took over just because it was next to the one Wanda created. I do think the name might be the directors nod to a character on a tv sitcom he used to be part of the cast (creators love to add little nods to people & things they know & like into their works). But putting his name + Agatha's bunny + her comment that there's no taming Agnes comments together... that's a tripple adult joke...

And, untimately, I think this character being just Ralph was supposed to be about the viewers going through the same experience as Wanda. Wanda is pretty messed up, so when a stranger shows up to her door, and claims to be her brother, she at first embraces it. Because she really wants it to be true. But slowly logic takes over, and she becomes suspicious, and questions the actual truth. For Wanda he kinda looks similar, and he has the brothers abilities. So she accepts the lie as the truth...for a second (they did the same with White Vision in ep 9...when for a moment she thought it's her Vision...because she wanted it to be true..so badly). I do think that this was one of the reasons behind this character. I do think that within this show it was always supposed to be about the veiwers being confused together with Wanda. Which...does not mean there's not more to him that'll be explored in the future. And they might still turn it into a multiverse plot twist, but for now, I think it worked the way it did. Especially since they did leave it open with all the little weird details (laughing at his own name, etc)

And it worked...we, like Wanda, wanted to believe “the lie” so badly that we convinced ourselves into believing he is Fox Quicksilver. This is why I personally loved this reveal. And I don’t get the upset. Because this works so much better with the shows theme. It shows how powerful “suggestion” is, and how easy it is to trick the human mind. 

                             *************************

AGATHA’S ACTIONS: 

If Agatha is able to free everyone from Wanda’s spell (as demonstrated in the finale), then why didn’t she do it sooner/right away?

Is it cause she didn’t fully understand what was going on soon enough? We know that Vision didn’t free everyone right away after ep 5 was because freeing them meant causing them feel pain, and Vision is all good. But what’s Agatha’s excuse/explanation? If she considers Wanda’s mind-control as wrong, then why did she not help the people if she could? Because she had her own agenda...she needed her to keep up the illusion in order to get what she wanted. And she was doing it all knowingly.

Agatha has no right to judge Wanda here. Vision & Monica do/have. People of WV can. The damage Wanda caused was an accidental byproduct of her grief (when she cries everyone feels it & cries..without her knowing...she can’t affect others emotions), but Agatha planned everything with full knowedge of what she was doing. She is the villain who seems to have good intentions. Wanda is the hero, who seems to have bad intentions. One lead by good, other by evil.

                             *************************

WANDA VS MONICA/"GERALDINE"

I think that the reason Wanda seems to be hostile towards Monica, while she seems to be determined to help her at any cost (to herself) is all about reality vs hex-ality. If you pay attention then the moments that "anger" Wanda during this sitcom freality are the ones where something from actual reality gets through to her freality. Jimmy's radio message in ep 2. The beekeeper in ep 2. Mention of Ultron in ep 3. The drones. Since Monica represents the reality that is ruining her fake reality, does not fit in, is a deviation from her script, then she is trying to edit it out. Monica is trying to connect to Wanda because of the grief connection (she has similar experience due to what happened with her mom & the blip). Wanda is also probably not completety sure she isn't on the same team as Hayward is. She might focus her anger towards her cause in her mind she represents SWORD.

  Also...some bits are making me think that Wanda sensed that there was an outsider in her dream-world. That there was an enemy among her neighbours/friends. But...she either could not identify them, or Agatha mis-directed the suspicion at others on purpose, making her mis-identify the threat. Cause what Wanda tells Geraldine before she kicks her out is actually, in reality, applies to Agatha.

Also...from production POV...the reason they had Wanda physically attack Monica, and not others is because shes the only "random" person with powers. So she's a worthy match. And they used this to set up her powers, and showcase them. Once it was decided Monica was part of the shows story, and she'd get her powers, that was it. She had to exit the hex (2x enter + 1x exit), and Wanda is basically the only one who could make that happen (throw someone out). So from that POV it was just a means to an end. The ep 7 fight was to show us & Wanda more of her powers.

                             *************************

THE STATE OF WESTVIEW: 

Did Wanda see WestView as being in ruins & people all alone & sad when she was driving through the city becase of her own mental state (when she arrive there)? Was she projecting her own feeling to others & hence saw her own feelings in others? And in reality the city was not in the state she saw it? Because based on the finale the people of WV did not seem as sad & city as much in ruins as it looked to her? Did she accidentally project her feeling on others...for real? Is this what happened? 

When the hex goes down the city is still “rusty” (boarded up houses, no shine), but the people might not have been as un happy as she perceived? We won’t know...

Was her perception accurate or incorrect?  Not answered, really...

                              *************************

THE AEROSPACE ENGINEER?

Though it seems that the engineer friend was the lady she met up with, who brough Monica the vehicle to enter the hex, I am still a bit unsure about her not being just the messenger, because Monica originally says “guy”...which kinda hints towards a male. So that, to me, was also left a bit open ended...

JIMMY’S FRIEND CLIFF?

Who is this other FBI agent Ciff who Jimmy calls to help. Who is this? I don’t think it’s anyone important. I just think that this is yet another meta joke. He is calling Cliff Hanger. #Cliffhanger lol 

THE END 

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Based on the scene in the Melody of Memory trailer... when we see the man in the hood about to reveal his face, Kairi attacking him, etc.

And, yes: this is a “The Master of Masters is Sora” fic. Because if that figure is the Master of Masters--though it’s probably a memory of Xehanort--him showing his face to Kairi seems to indicate he knows her... which really only leaves a few options.

I didn’t write this story because I want this to happen. At all. But because if it is and has to--and I’m still not saying it is--I’d want some of it to be handled in this way... because otherwise it’s kind of squicky, if Kairi is implying a Master of Masters!Sora locked her powers and changed her fate... which I still don’t think is happening, but I wrote this story as possible catharsis for that, anyway.

The Final Encore

"But Kairi," said a voice she thought she recognized, as it froze her in place after she’d tried to attack the bearer of it--for which tears formed in her eyes, because how was she being held hostage again?!--"If I hadn't changed your fate… we never would have met. And wouldn't that have been tragic?"

"As if I ever wanted to meet you!" Kairi bellowed, as she tried to do anything and everything she could to get out of this Stopza hold right now... How was it that she'd just been furious at this man for having repressed her powers for years—after she'd finally gotten them back at full-force—but was now unintentionally showing him that maybe she was even weak with them?

Surprisingly, the man seemed to take note of her distress and severely lessened the level of the Stop spell that was on her, until it was just that: Stop. Nothing more and nothing less, and Kairi couldn't figure why he’d do this. Because she'd be free of it in a second, and defeat him like she’d promised. She would! So why-

"…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel so vulnerable. I know you must hate that after... after what's happened to you in the past. And just so you know, I'm not the one who stole your powers, okay? That was all Xehanort's doing, not mine."

"But I'm sure you still used it to your advantage! And if nothing else, you've still used me like a pawn! And I'm going to end you for all the pain you've caused!"

Kairi was finally free of the figure's magic! And she was throwing her Keyblade at him, in order to warp to the man and hit him with it over and over again... but just as she was starting this, he darted closer to her and caressed her face. And Kairi unwittingly stopped her actions for the shock of it.

One, because not even Riku—who she knew so well—had done such a thing when he'd been caring for her lifeless body when she’d lost her heart.

And two... because Kairi thought she knew that touch... even with a sleeve and full gloves to block it... but there was absolutely no way. Right? It was blasphemy to even think such a thing!

...And yet, Kairi found herself asking the question with acid in her voice, anyway. "Who are you? You're not Xehanort, so..."

And when the man spoke next, she could just imagine the smirk on his face... and could almost hear it with a younger sounding voice: one that she knew for sure. "Who do you think I am?"

And Kairi was taken back to what seemed like so many years ago... when she and Sora would—somewhat—work together to make the raft, and she'd give him hints on where to find the items needed in an exasperated manner... and how he, in response to that a year later, had only given her a hint as to his name. They had always messed with each other and flirted with such games…

"Sora?" Kairi choked out, as tears fell from her eyes... though she didn't know what emotion from her, exactly, was causing them to do so. And she hated that her tears were falling onto this place of Sea and Sky’s water, to mock what should have represented a happy place for her Sora. But then… wasn’t Sora being here like this doing the same thing?

And the man pulled his hood down and revealed the face that Kairi wanted to see more than anything else in the world... but also never wanted to again, as it looked like he had mutilated himself and she was now piecing together in her head how he'd gotten to such a position. He must have fallen to the darkness... to save her. (1)

"Hello, Kairi," Sora answered her question as he smiled at her. And there was so much love in his voice, that she wanted to punch him for it. How could he still sound like that for her, when he'd done this to himself for stupid her. "It's good to see you... But I'm sure you won't be happy to see me when you learn all that I've done... Yet I don't regret that it allowed me to protect you."

"What you've done-" Kairi started. But she couldn't even finish the sentence because even though she was theorizing Sora must have done some evil things—and he now seemed to be confirming it himself... what was this nightmare world that she'd gotten pulled into?!—saying it was unfathomable. Impossible.

But Kairi was about to try it again, anyway, because she didn't want to deny reality... when he suddenly sped to her and hugged her. And she imagined he was doing this for selfish reasons. Because if he really had done the things he was implying, and still knew her heart, then he should've known that the last thing she'd ever want was to be around a killer like this.

But yet it was too good—too much of what Kairi wanted: her old Sora—that she leaned into him, anyway, and began apologizing. "Sora, I'm- I’m sosorry that you had to die for me! That I was so foolish, and thought I could take on the Keyblade War, and was so weak. You deserved better, and I-"

And Sora pulled away fast, as if Kairi had struck him... but he seemed to recover his wits about him fast, for he gently leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Never apologize for being everything to me."

And the words were so close to the "I love you" she'd dreamed of hearing from him again—under better circumstances—that Kairi had to cry again. Why did it seem like those words were cursed for them? Or romance for them in general? Maybe it would be best to give up…

"What happens now?" Kairi asked, feeling suddenly emboldened—because maybe she wanted to act as old as he now was—in pulling on Sora's belt loops through his cloak, so he was closer to her and couldn't run from this. And his breath seemed to hitch in his throat as she did. "You must be from the future... and I'm guessing from how amazed you are to see me, I never see your young self again, do I? I'll only ever see you again as an adult... after you've spent years without me, and I've only spent a year away from you. It hardly seems fair to you."

But Sora was pulling away from Kairi like she was a danger he couldn't even begin to fathom. And this time, she understood why.

As Sora turned away from Kairi and even seemed to be walking as far away from her as his legs could carry him, she heard him utter these words, "…Nothing happens between us, Kairi. The young girl doesn't get with the man who's a murderer. She just doesn't. And that's where our story ends. But it was good seeing you one last time, and I still have no regrets."

And with nothing more between them, Sora disappeared through a Corridor of Darkness and it sent chills down Kairi’s spine.

But though Sora should have been right... Kairi wondered if he was. She knew what being around him had just made her heart and body feel, so maybe it would never really be done for them... what a scary thought that was.

And here Kairi had thought the only trauma she’d be leaving here with, was the experiments that Xehanort had done to her when she was a child… Not how Sora had seemed to mess with fate, so things would go exactly as he’d seen them go.

But did this new stuff about Sora have to stay awful? Was she a Princess of Heart or wasn’t she, Kairi demanded of herself as she summoned a Corridor of Light and figuratively left what had once been a home for her.

And when Kairi woke up from her year long coma, she promised herself that she was going to use her unlocked powers to save Sora… it was all she could do, for someone who had released such powers in order to rescue her.

Author’s Note: Kairi is thinking that Sora used the power of darkness—and became the Master of Masters—in order to save her at the end of KHIII, but she’s wrong. It was sometime after that.

Also, Kairi’s being harder on Sora in this than she probably would be in canon and would be in other fics (even ones of mine). But this story is, sadly, supposed to be the more hopeless one, because not only does Kairi condemn Sora for what he’s done (which I do think both canon and fanon Kairi would at least do some, as she loves the World), but Sora’s now older than Kairi in this AU. He’s an adult, and she’s not. So there really probably shouldn’t have been hope for them here… But yet I left some at the end, anyway, because I never want things to be hopeless.

[phantomchick]

Tony Stark Fic Recs

Burning Candles - by kerravon Hurt/comfort, exhaustion, concussions, hurt tony, steve is a bro, nick fury being morally shady, the avengers! Summary: A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

Fifth Time Lucky - by Arkada oneshot, fluff, this fic is short, sweet and a lot of fun. Well worth the read. Summary:  Tony Stark has five soulmates, but he gave up on finding any of them a long time ago.

Hide A Heart Of War - by RayShippouUchiha Tony Centric 2 chapter fic. Flower soul mark au. EXCELLENT ANGST.  Lots of feels, there’s also a slow burn romance in the background. Rhodey is a good bro. Loving all the descriptions of the soulmarks. Summary:  “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.” Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

The (Not So) Great Pretender - by RayShippouUchiha Complete, secret identities, tony/bucky which i don’t usually ship but hey this author really makes it worth it. Oblivious Avengers. Hilarious but also angsty? Summary: Basically no one believes Tony when he tells them he’s Iron Man so he’s just... reluctantly keeping his secret identity going? It’s super funny.

To Victor Goes the Spoils - by tisfan Tony Stark/Victor von Doom, 10 chapters, complete, secret identities. Summary: In which Doom finds himself at a super hero masked ball... and gaining the attentions of the handsome and charming Tony Stark...Just one dance... just one kiss... before Doom unleashes his evil plot. Backstory: I accidentally stumbled on this doom x iron man fic so i thought i’d read it for laughs but then the fic itself was really good and I was suckered into shipping it. Now I’m in rarepair hell. The end. 

Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark...Not Recommended - by lilsmartass Gen. Complete. 9 chapters. Angst, lots of angst. Hurt/comfort. Unintentional bullying. Rhodey is the captain of the tony stark defence squad. AND HE WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE. Summary: Clint and Steve have both seen Natasha’s report on Tony and expect him to be a certain way. With Pepper now out of the picture, Bruce in India and Thor is Asgard they have no one to show them just how wrong first impressions can be.

That Which Kills Us - by Ironlawyer Ultimates!verse, steve/tony, oneshot, internalised homophobia, Tony is not a good patient. Summary: Sometimes Tony hates being alive as much as he hates dying. Trying to juggle duties to The Ultimates and a terminal illness isn’t exactly easy. Throw in an irate Steve Rogers and things just get too damn complicated.

Doomed To Failure - by DobbyRocksSocks Oneshot, excellent content, i read this fic and then i had to sit in my chair and be like ‘whoa’ for a while. This au is very well done! Summary: Everyone is born with their soulmate on one wrist, and their mortal enemy on the other. What do you do when it's the same person?

Say Goodbye to Yesterday - by melonbutterfly 4 chapter fic, complete, time loop, team building, alien invasion. time travel is a trope i keel over for this you must learn. Summary:  The day after the invasion Tony wakes up and his tower is intact again; everything is exactly the way it was before this whole mess went down. 

Don't Bet Against the House - by AlexTheShipper 2 chapter fic, complete, protective Jarvis, team dynamics, fluff Summary:  In which jokes about the arc reactor are not taken lightly, not by JARVIS who will never again sit trapped in his servers as someone attempts to kill Sir.

From A to Z - by Rachel500 26 chapter fic.Complete. Very very good, *sips fruit juice out of my champaigne glass* a classic of the genre! I’m a sucker for time travel as a trope, pair that with fixing the disaster that was the mcu chronology? BUDDY I’M SOLD.\ Summary: “OK, hypothetically, you get sent back in time one year. Does that make a difference?” Strange asked. “Two? Three? Could you live through the worst experience of your life again to preserve enough of the timeline to continue? Could you stand aside and let someone you love live through a bad experience in their life?” “OK. I get it. Bad idea.” Tony smirked at Strange to cover for his unease. “So. Plan B?” Strange grinned but there was a serious glint in his eyes. “How about we make it plan Z?”

Acceptable Risk Is Not - by izumi2 Super bamf tony, oneshot, Maria Hill redemption arc. Captain america the winter soldier. Not steve friendly but this can be blamed on the plot of the movie making zero sense with hindsight. Summary: what if someone considered an alternate solution to the data drop?  THIS IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS FOR REASONS SO PLEASE TRY IT.

The Course of Reason - by Infie Oneshot, aftermath of captain america civil war, Carol Danvers is a relateable ho whom I stan, the saltiest of all possible responses to that film. YESSSS. This is it. The fic that finally knocked me over the edge onto the civil war team iron man side of the fence. BEHOLD. It’s greatness. Summary: The UN has asked Tony to discuss their options with the Fugitive Avengers. It does not go the way they expect it to.

Uncompromising Principles - by Kizmet 19 chapter fic, it’s completed and it’s very well done, legal drama, Tony/Pepper, Steve is... a good person who made mistakes, he’s trying anyway, i can’t say more without spoilers, but it’s A Ride, like you’ll read this and it’ll make you have Feelings and Thoughts and it’s very clever in how it goes about making those Feelings and Thoughts happen. Captain America: civil war aftermath fic. Summary: After leaving Siberia Captain America begins his plans to overturn the Accords. But not all is as it seems.Not compliant with the end of "Civil War".

To intervene - by apathyinreverie Currently at 15 chapters, ongoing, a lot of fun, tony stark has a heart, tony and rhodey, civil war team iron man, mutant kind, pro accords. Summary: The one where Rhodey stages an intervention after the whole Ultron fiasco.

Veni, Vidi, Amavi - by Maedlin Treat yo’self. It’s a Time travel fic. ONE OF THE BEST: Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf Jarvis, Palladium Poisoning, Complete, 26 chapter fic, but you’ll wish it was longer by the time you’re done. (Luckily there’s an ongoing sequel series to enjoy!) THIS FIC IS SUPREMELY GOOD! And HEAVY on the Jarvis love! DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR AND TRY IT SERIOUSLY YOU WON’T REGRET READING THIS. Highest of recs goes to this. Summary:  (We came, we saw, we loved.) Tony's not the hero type. To suggest otherwise would be outlandish and fantastic, clearly.  Yet somehow, he's the one that's responsible for saving the universe. Now, he's a decade in the past. He's just revealed to the world he's Iron Man.  Tony finds himself facing dozens of old problems, and as time passes the ripple effect of his presence generates ever more new issues. All the while, the impending threat of Thanos looms ever-closer.

With One More Try (Can We Start Again) - by Infinite_Monkeys 5 Chapter fic, and it’s Completed. Time travel fix it, not strictly tony stark-centric but still a firm fave, A masterpiece. Definitely in my top 5 time travel fics and i’ve read a LOT so that’s saying something! Contains: That Good Loki Content. Summary: Loki's attempt to conquer Earth has, to his great dismay, succeeded spectacularly. When Thanos sends him to collect the Time Stone, he strikes a deal with the Stone's keeper: He'll be sent back to the beginning of the invasion, and this time, armed with knowledge about his opponents, he can lose properly. Or: a time loop fic in which Loki does increasingly desperate things to try and get the Avengers to defeat him already.

(Science) Bros before (HYDRA) Hoes - by Kizmet Tony is the captain of the Bruce Banner defence squad, Legal Shenanigans, It’s marked as Ongoing but what’s there is satisfying enough on its own I promise, basically a huge callout for Johannesburg, Hulk deserves a hug. Summary: The Hulk isn’t taken from the planet after AoU, there’s no one conveniently out of reach to take the fall for Johannesburg… A choice is going to have to be made: Wanda or the Hulk. 

A Larger Matter - by TheSovereigntyofReality Oneshot. Consequences! The ‘Steve’s blood’ scene in the agent carter tv show always pissed me off so this fic was uh Cathartic shall we say, but honestly you can read it and have it make perfect sense even without having seen the show, Howard Stark, teenaged Tony, Team Stark. Woohoo. Summary: When Peggy Carter tipped out Steve's blood, she had no idea the hornet's nest she just kicked.

Who in their Right Mind... - by AnonEhouse Crackfic, Oneshot Summary: Dum-E saves the universe

Catching Butterflies - by GremlinSR Ongoing, 6 chapters and counting, very very good content, like you wouldn’t think so from the summary which is a little bland but it’s actually very very good. Believe me when I tell you: It contains The Good Stuff. Time Travel fix it, Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf yet confused T’Challa. Summary: Tony snaps his fingers...and wakes up five days before the events that led to the death of JARVIS and the creation of Ultron. He decides he won't let the future he lived come to pass, no matter how thoroughly he has to destroy the timeline.

The War is Far From Over Now - by Dont_call_me_Carrie Ongoing, 40 dhapters and counting, this fic is clearly the author’s baby and they put so much work into it so watching it grow is a pleasure. Protective Jarvis, Protective Stark Industries Employees who like their boss. Rhodey is a good Bro, Awesome Pepper Potts. Fix it via Accidental World Domination. Summary: In which Tony does not, in fact, intend to take over the world.... unfortunately, everyone else missed that particular memo.

Can I Quote You On This? - by Wix Oneshot, Mcu critical, Avengers Critical, salty, extremely salty. Uncovering Plot Holes is easy when the road’s full of them. Summary:  Christine was sent in to just do a puff piece about the Avengers. What she uncovers instead is so much more interesting.

Strong Enough to Bend - by Kizmet Oneshot, salt and shade, tony stark & steve rogers, the author has Opinions about mcu steve so if that’s not your thing i wouldn’t rec it, not steve friendly? Summary: Steve ‘watches’ the videos on Tony Stark that Shield provides him with

Take that Away and What are You? - by Kizmet Oneshot, kidnapping, bamf tony stark, not steve friendly, I love this fic Summary: Tony and Steve get kidnapped. Since Tony’s wearing a tux, Steve figures it’s all up to him to get them out of this mess. Steve never really thought much about the conditions under which Tony built the Mach I.

Facing the devil (and the deep, blue sea) - by petroltogo Oneshot, au, not steve friendly, steve isn’t a good person in this fic, but it’s juicy, soulmate au, soulmarks Summary:  Alternate title: No obvious truth  Post-CACW: In an alternate universe where everyone has the name of their soulmate and the name of their greatest enemy written on their wrists, recently captured ex-Avenger Steve Rogers receives an unexpected visitor two days before the start of his trial. [The trick is figuring out which name is tied to which fate.] [The trick is realising you’ll never know.]

Asking Why - by Kizmet Oneshot. the relief and catharsis of logic. Nat, Hill, Cho, Rhodey and Pepper sit Tony down to talk about what led to the creation of Ultron. Scapegoating is stupid: The Fanfic edition. Summary: Applying analytical techniques in the aftermath of Ultron

[aotopmha]

Attack on Titan Chapter 123 Thoughts

I feel like this chapter was actually the most straight-forward chapter since Eren got his head blown off back in chapter 119 - for real this time.

The nuanced character writing and the context-driven, interpretation-based storytelling is still there in moments - I feel like Eren's character and the current situation needs that to work, but other than that, I think it's really self-explanatory and I actually welcome that.

AoT's meta level narrative structure is once again connected to the story's point, themes, emotional beats - after several chapters of a lot of fairly complex and dark material we get a little bit of a breather and so do the characters.

The chapter still has some heavy material (it kind of does end with Eren basically declaring to commit mass genocide) and you might argue the lightheartedness might be a little jarring in light of all the dark stuff that came before it and comes after it, but I really did welcome this as a breather.

As I said in my initial post, I think it also does have thematic significance in that it once again reminds us of the good in the world, I'd add to that, though, that, not only from the perspective of Eren picking those that are innocent to have this horrible fate, but also from the perspective of those he sees are worthy of his protection and showing what he sees as the good that is worth protecting.

He declares to commit mass genocide, but does it with the purpose of protecting those he loves.

This is also a twisted version of the standard "Shounen protagonist fights for everyone he cares about" idea.

I really admire how the story manages to twist these standard tropes while still feeling sincere, making sense and having a point character writing-wise - again, so many stories that try to twist tropes this way feel like they are just dark and shocking for the sake of being dark and shocking and with that comes insincerity and non-believability of the drama in the story and ultimately lack of investment in it.

I’ve seen comparisons of him to Lelouch around, but that series drove me away from the very first episode, so I can’t comment on those (I know the ending of that series, but I feel like I’d need the whole picture to truly comment), but I could talk about possible comparisons to Light Yagami (Eren even almost looks like Light in this chapter, too). While I think it fits in some ways (self-righteous young man executing his justice) and I think Light is an entertaining villain, I don't think he's nearly as complex as Eren or even as complex in a general sense as I often see people claim he is.

I feel like Light didn't really have an arc and had his mindset basically set from the start, he just gradually executed it on a increasingly larger scale. Light’s goal of justice didn’t really ever have any sort of goodness to it. Eren genuinely wishes to protect those he loves, Light’s “justice” is just unnuanced self-righteousness with a dash of god complex thrown in there. I’ve seen the argument that it’s the power of the Death Note that corrupted him around, but I feel like he had the same perspective from start to finish.

I think it’s an interesting comparison.

I think you could technically make a similar argument for Eren - you could see this as just an reinterpretation of his character, rather than development, but I myself feel like his path to this point is much more complex than that and depends of several factors and events leading up to this point in the story.

Despite all the talking about how Eren might've "never changed" by the characters, I think there was a character development process that lead Eren here.

He wasn't so accutely aware of the humanity of the "other side" he was fighting against back when he was a kid.

Again, I don't think Eren ever fought for freedom at specifically the *cost* of others before Marley. His desire for freedom back then felt much more neutral to me:

(Chapter 14)

There were elements of his cynical side showing here and there, just not to the extremes he goes to here.

He wasn't this pragmatic as his 15 year-old self, in fact, at one point, he was the one looking and wanting for other ways out than plain sacrifice:

(Chapter 25)

Chapter 25 specifically concerns him, but you can also see this in much more recent moments:

(Chapter 90)

Most importantly, though, here:

(Chapter 107)

I feel like, both, him understanding the impact of what he's about to do and the choice to destroy the world are character development results.

Him seeing the humanity of his enemies leads to the positive conclusions he comes to (his current, more nuanced world view) and him being surrounded by all this negativity and more importantly, his hyper-focus on this negativity induced by the many horrible things he has experienced himself and in his father's (and the other shifters') memories leads to him being unable to see any other way out of this than the one he chose here.

In this chapter, Eren couldn't see the beauty of the world and the one time he chose to do so, he did it with a sort of sense of finality and decisiveness.

He waited as long as he could bear, but from his perspective ultimately just didn’t see any other way out.

His negative and positive growth also sort of contradict each other - he understands what he's about to do is so horrible, but does it anyway.

You could see it as a contradiction coming from how his mind has twisted because of everything negative he has experienced, ranging from his trauma from loss to him gaining his father’s and other shifters’ memories. 

You could also, though, see this as a contradiction that might have more to it.

If Eren has enough perspective now to know what he's doing is horrible, why doesn't he have enough perspective to not commit mass genocide? Then, perhaps he does and there is more to his plan?

It's either that trauma and negativity is one hell of a mindscrewer and it's just his mind coming to very twisted conclusions or there is more to his plan.

My guess in the case of the second option would be that he's attempting to unite humanity against him (Willy already started this) and the purpose of his announcement is for all the Eldians across the world to inform everyone else and with that help them evacuate before the rumbling arrives at their location, giving the rest of the world more positive actions to go off of when judging the Eldians.

This could paint even all the Eldians on Paradis as victims of the "main villain" Eren Jaeger and the Titans and since this is something world-wide, this perspective could spread.

It's unbelievable everybody would listen because of the discrimination, but it's also unbelievable that nobody would listen as there are always at least some understandable and kind people out there.

We’ve seen this with the volunteers growing to see the Eldians as more human, we see this in Magath’s character arc and even in the small moment of the guards protecting Gabi. There is good in here, it’s just buried.

Perhaps there could’ve been peace at some point with some countries if Eren hadn’t acted as he did in Liberio. But at the same time Marley had their plan to attack Paradis in the near future to begin with, so even the small moments of goodness come with the constant caveat brought up over and over again of there being very little time.

What would you expect from Eren in this situation?

Eren framing himself as the villain could change nothing and it could change everything depending on how it's done and how deep the hatred against Eldians truly runs.

Perhaps some Eldians wouldn't even want to tell anyone anything because of how poorly they've been treated.

This plan would rely on the existing goodness on all sides.

Taking Eren down might need the combined strength of the Titan society in Marley, the Paradisians and the collected army of the world and the losses here might be massive enough where the aftermath might force some sort of changes to happen for this to never happen again, the only (very large) side note here, again, being that those proposed changes might just still involve the complete extermination of all Eldians after this.

Moving on from the larger scale stuff though, the other big, a little bit more interpretive scene of the chapter was Eren's moment with Mikasa.

I've been iffy about the possible romantic nature of their relationship since Grisha called Mikasa his daughter back in chapter 121 - if there was already a familial bond like that there, it really veers into squicky material to me, but it's still ambigious enough that I'm still letting it slide for now. It's only on Grisha's part still and Mikasa never calls Eren's parents her own parents - Carla is always auntie and Grisha is Dr. Yeager.

It's always been sort of awkward because of how Mikasa's backstory worked out, but for now I still consider it fine.

As far as that scene, though, as it's been like across the story, I feel like it's definitely shown as romantic on Mikasa's side, while I think it's similarly neutral as it's always been on Eren's side.

Much more important here is what it means, though - what could the subtext here be?

Did Eren look for confirmation for putting the idea/plan he had in mind in motion - confirming that Mikasa didn't care that strongly for him and thus wouldn't miss him that strongly/could defeat him when the time came for him to die (if that's the plan he's going with)?

Was it confirming to himself that what he's about to do would be worth it for if not nobody else, then at least her because she cared, not even necessarily about him, but in a general sense was a source of goodness within all this negativity he's been seeing, confirmation that Paradis was worth protecting at the cost of the rest of humanity because they were good and the others were bad, then actually looping back to his old attitude in some ways, basically looking for confirmation for his faith in the goodness of humanity?

Did he in his desparation turn to Mikasa to somehow give him another option to the one he saw or did he hope her answer would somehow change his mind when it came to executing his plan?

Maybe it was partially all these, maybe it was something entirely different, but I'm leaning on the third option the most myself.

It might just have been a secret cry for him to be protected from himself.

The gist of it seems to be him asking about the sincerity of Mikasa's feelings and whether she cares about him, doesn't matter if you see it as romantic or not.

I'm not sure if she could've changed anything because Eren was already isolated and stuck in his negative thoughts - a simple love confession wouldn’t fix all the baggage Eren has been collecting.

On the flip side, Armin thoughts when switching back to the present involved believing in the goodness in Eren - that he was on their side and he is, the problem is that Eren took his gained pragmatism too far.

Personally, I lean on the option of there being more to Eren's plan, but I can also see him just being stuck on just not seeing another option. He got his view of there not being another option confirmed many times across the 4 year timeskip and this chapter continued to show that to him.

Putting Eren aside, though, as said, this chapter was also the funnest and lightest since forever - the group reacting to a car, the group reacting to ice cream, Levi's interactions with the clown and everyone getting drunk was a blast.

It amplifies the tragedy, but is also fun.

As said, a lot of this chapter was actually very straight-forward. They all visit the outside world and have some fun and strange encounters with it. It was nice, but pretty simple so there isn’t actually much more for me to say about the more light-hearted elements of this chapter.

Finally, again on a less lighter note, I think this chapter sadly might've confirmed Historia's pregnancy. She seems to be in the Paths with a belly and since everyone's bodies seem to correspond to their real bodies in paths, unless there's something else to it, it feels like a pretty clearly-defined confirmation.

I could see Ymir undoing it, but I don't see how it could be fake now unless that girl in one of the final spreads of the chapter is a red herring and not Historia.

I think the best way the pregnancy could go to me is if it genuinely was Historia's decision (not her going back to her sacrifical self, but her very own sincere decision). You could still nitpick it to death and this plot point would have messy implications no matter what you do, but I think that would probably the best way it could go aside from her pregnancy being removed because it would at least in the very basics align with her arc.

Meanwhile, AoT continues to at least have my undivided attention because of Eren's very unique arc and the gripping plotting.

I thought this was a great chapter as what kind of chapter it set out to be - equally a breather and a setup chapter.

It had great staging, great lightheartedness and a great cliffhanger.