#anyway. ignore me who cares maybe if I mentally exit my body I’ll be able to get through the rest of the day and then I’ll get to sleep

[redhotarsenic]

“Well I’m anxious and stressed and sick all the time and I go to work every day so I don’t have any sympathy for you how dare you use that as an excuse but we care about your wellbeing though :) but shame on you also”

[emerald-amidst-gold]

OC Interview: Fane Lavellan

Thank you for the tag @dungeons-and-dragon-age! I’ve been eyeing up this meme for a while actually, so this was perfect timing! X3

This takes place Post-Trespasser, about a month or two after, in fact. Solas brought the idea forward, and of course, Fane refused. But after some coaxing, some explanation as to why, and the promise of a whole cake, Fane agreed to humor the request. 

*THERE BE BIG THINGS REGARDING FANE HERE* 

I got carried awaaaaaay! XD

Introduction

Can you introduce yourself?

“I can, but it’s a lengthy list,” He sighs, “...Those who are close to me, who see as but an elf, call me Fane. Those who wish to meet cobble, call me Lavellan or Herald. Those who are blinded by reverence call me ‘He Who Flew Above’. Denizens of the Fade refer to me as, ‘Devotion’ or ‘Tenacity’. However, my true name is..” He sighs again, “...Aterian. I rarely go by it, but the truth won’t be ignored. It never can be.”

What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

“Male. Elvhen. Dragon.” He huffs through his nose, shifting his gaze off to the side, “That’s all I’ll say on that. As for orientation, I’m...emotionally driven. If you asked me to look at another and tell you what’s attractive about them I would say, ‘Nothing.’ I don’t know them, so I feel nothing for them.“ He shrugs, turning his gaze back, but brandishes a glare, “There’s only one person who defies that response, and that’s because he knows me, without and within. More than that, is none of your business.”

Where and when were you born?

He lifts a hand, massaging a temple, “The ‘where’ is simple; Elvhenan. Specifics are lost to me, however, so you’ll have to be content with that response.” He shifts his gaze downwards, slowly crossing his arms, “As to when?” He sighs heavily, “...I have no answer for that other than: I’m roughly the same age, if not older, as Solas. Does it matter, honestly? Numbers fall through the cracks after a specific threshold is crossed.” What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

He unravels a crossed arm and guides his hand downwards, tapping the pommel of a sword he has fastened to his waist, “Sword. I use either long swords, short swords, or great swords.” He raises an eyebrow as a question is forwarded, “Shields?” He sneers a bit. “I don’t use shields. They get in the way, and anyways,” He raises his hand once more, the expanse steadily beginning to glow blue and silver before a spectral coating of scales cover the entirety, “this is better than any shield. I prefer the front lines, the place I can make sure no one breaches, and the lingering memory of what I once was makes sure I can do just that.” He dispels the scales and shakes out his hand before returning it to his crossed counterpart, “It takes energy to maintain, but I’m getting better at holding it for longer.”  Lastly, are you happy?

He blinks before his entire expression softens, two toned eyes shining with primary gold as they shift downwards, “...If you had asked that of me over twelve years ago I would have spat in your face and said, ‘Happiness doesn’t exist in this world’. But now..” He trails off, casting a sidelong glance towards one of the fortress’s entryways; a familiar voice sounding, firm, but soft, as if reprimanding a child, “...I understand what happiness is, and it’s in every corner if you allow yourself to see it.” His eyes shift back, holding a far away look and voice coming forward in a murmur, “I only wish we all could be happy; together.”

Family and Friends

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

His face holds a conflicted look, as if the memory is painful before speaking, “Complicated,” he says before beginning to tap a finger against his bicep, “I had a mother. She died when I was fifteen from a wasting disease, but she was the picture of serenity. Calm, guiding, measured. Hair like moonlight. Eyes like a clear autumn day. She was--” Unbranded features twist with a look of grief, eyes going dark as his voice drops, “...I’d rather not speak of her. It still hurts to. It hurts to speak of any of them,” His eyes narrow, grief stricken expression turning somewhat bitter, “...Especially those who throw all you did for them back into your face because they refused to listen when you needed them to most. Even so, I still wish for her happiness. Cullen better be treating her right,” That bitter turns outright malicious, dark eyes going darker as another question is meekly asked, “Father? I have no father. I only had a monster that haunted my childhood, tore my token of devotion apart, and then stalked me in my dreams. So, no. I have nothing to say about that concept.”

Have you ever ran away from home?

He chuckles, “Many, many times,” He throws most of his weight into one side, tilting his head back as if thinking, counting, “I can’t even remember the amount of times I fled into the forests, to be honest. All I know is that it happened weekly, maybe even daily,” He brings his head back, snowy hair moving with the action to brush the tops of his cheekbones, “Why do you look so surprised?” he asks, snorting a bit at the meek response of, ‘Why so often?’, “Because I refused to endure being treated like a beast every hour of the day merely because I believed differently, or rather, not at all.” He sighs within the next moment, “...I wasn’t any better than the Dalish, though. I lashed out, I spat in their face, dragged their heritage through the dirt, inflicted harm from the smallest of things...” He squeezes his arms, eyes narrowing into a glare, but seeming to see through everything, “...The past repeats. An infernal spiral that will never slow.” Would you consider marriage or having children?

“Marriage? Children?” He blinks, pale visage suddenly going flush before he snarls, “Why do I need to answer those questions?!” The blush deepens and he responds despite his displeased expression, muttering and biting the inside of his cheek, “...Damned keen eyed elves. They know, don’t they? I swear if Abelas fucking ran that mouth of his, I’ll--” He sighs heavily, letting his head fall limp a bit in defeat, “...Yes. To both. The latter is already taken care of, as everyone situated in the Crossroads knows, but...” Pointed ears are now a deep shade of red, “...marriage is...on hold. War time isn’t an ideal summer wedding.” His voice drops, eyes shimmering as if he was before the person his heart yearned for, “...The sky deserves a venue better than a garden of death and deceit.” Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

“There were those in the Inquisition who I didn’t exactly see eye to eye with,” he started before shaking his head, “but I didn’t hate anyone. Everyone is entitled to their own views and what they find important.” He scowls a bit, tapping his bicep once again with a finger, “...Even if they didn’t extend the same kindness to me in the beginning. ‘Do you believe in the Maker?’ ‘Do you believe you’re chosen?’ ‘You need to use the people’s faith. It gives them hope.’” He mocks before snorting harshly, “No. No, I don’t. Oh, that suddenly makes me trash? Ohhh. How terrible.” He scoffs. “Disgusting.” Which friend knows everything about you?

“Solas,” He says within a heart beat before clearing his throat, shifting his gaze away sheepishly, “He knows me without and within.” Emerald and gold blaze as the orbs go wide, the blush of roses coming back in full force, “Wait, wait, wait! I didn’t mean--! Fuck! You better wipe that shit eating grin off your face, elf, or I swear I’ll do it for you!” He growls in frustation, throwing his hands in the air, “Why did I agree to this? What fucking dragon entertains an interview!? This is worst than the courts in Arlathan used to be! And that’s saying something!”

Asked by Fans

Are you literate? Have you been to school?

”I am literate. Sometimes to a fault, in fact,” He smiles a bit, “Poetry is my niche; a lingering memory of my mother. So, I speak cryptically at times,” He snorts, amused, “Although, I guess that isn’t much of a surprise since the Elvhen language is riddled in verse rather than practical application. Still, even some of the ancients left have a hard time deciphering my words,” He shrugs, smile turning into a smirk, “They never expected a dragon to be able to talk, I guess. Well, ta-dah.”  The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

A somber expression flits across his visage and eyes, “...That, eventually, I would hurt the one person I never wanted to.” The corner of his mouth twitches, holding both bitterness and grief; a painful duo, “...And retribution came just as swiftly, but it--” He sighs, shaking his head in defeat before muttering under his breath, “Observe and accept. Observe that what came to pass was uncontrollable, and accept that it had to happen for your path to continue, for your soul to be complete.” What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

His face blanks, mouth going into a hard line before a sigh exits through his nose slowly, “...That I don’t have tail.” He snarls, blank expression twisting in warning, “Laugh, elf. Do it.” He nods in the next second when no sounds of amusement come forth, expression going stoic once more, “That’s what I thought. You try living centuries in one form and then transitioning. See what happens.” Do you have mental health or physical issues?

He nods, sighing tiredly. “Like my names, I have a lot.” A hand motions to his body lazily, “My entire body is littered in scars, inflicted through crude experiments by an abomination that sought power like so many others,” He expression sours, jaw working back a forth, “They’ve calmed over the years, but the memories are not so kind.” He sighs, trying to calm himself and lifts his left hand; the Anchor glowing faintly and his eyes watch it, “I have an illness, or rather, sensitivity to any Fade born essence. That, too, has calmed and I’m grateful for that. As for my mind..” He trails off, grimacing a bit as if suddenly in pain, “...Visualize the Void, and there’s your answer. Black walls with crimson torches, seats empty, but somehow wanting for memories to take their seats. However, those occupants never come, burnt to ash by fury’s flame. That’s my mind in a nutshell.” What is your current main goal?

He raises his eyebrows, pursing his lips, “Mm, as of right now, I’m busy helping Solas unlock the eluvians that he couldn’t while I was away,” He flexes his marked hand, watching it with a look of determination in his eyes, “That’ll take time, but after, my people, my kin will have their skies back. I won’t let this power be squandered, and I won’t let the key that I’ve been entrusted with fall into the wrong hands.” His face hardens further, “For if that key rusts, the locks break and the sky will blacken as surely as the earth will redden.”

Choices

Drink or food?

“Drinks.” He says with ease, shrugging, “Food is comforting, especially sweets, but a glass of rum or ale, or a cup of chamomile tea really pounds the word ‘relaxation’ into my head.” Cats or dogs?

He smiles, warmth caressing its edges, “You’ve seen Nislean wandering about the halls, laying on the window sills and curling up in front of the fire,” He hums suddenly, crossing his arms again, “Which reminds me, I need to go out of the Crossroads for milk. I’ll be getting more than five bottles this time.” Optimist or pessimist?

“Depends on who you ask,” He shrugs, seeming unbothered, “I’m neither from a personal standpoint. I try to see the bright spots, but shadows can be very persistent.”   Sassy or sarcastic?

He snorts, “Ask Fen’harel,” his voice is light upon the title, playfully mocking in its deepness, “He knows all about that side. Although, he would label it, ‘insufferable’. I would call myself dryly sarcastic, though.”

Have You Ever

Been caught sneaking out?

He purses his lips, “Hmm. Not that I can recall,” he says slowly before his brows jumped and his eyes lit up with memory, “Oh! Wait. There was that one time where I was with Solas and Mythal in a...courtyard, I think?” He shrugs before shrugging, “Doesn’t matter. But, I tried to slip away, tail and all, and I...may have shattered one or two or three eluvians trying to get to the balcony.” He somewhat wistfully, smirking, “Elgar’nan got fucking stuck in a far off settlement for a week, though. Completely worth getting my horn chewed off by a wolf.” Broken a bone?

“Surprisingly, no.” He huffs in amusement, “Wonder of wonders, truthfully.” Received flowers?

“I have,” He scowls, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disgust, “but I always throw them into the fire. Most are from suitors, those who don’t know what the fuck ‘taken’ means.” Ghosted someone?

His face tightens, completely deadpan, “...No?”, he says, voice raising in question a bit, “At least I don’t believe so. But, then again...oh.” He blanks further, “...Oh. I understand the term now. You mortals are forever twisting the languages, aren’t you? I can’t keep up, but the answer is still no.” Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

“Maybe once or twice, but I don’t ‘laugh’ per say.” He huffs through his nose deliberately, “I do that; a puff of air. Some habits are never truly able to be broken. No matter the form.”

Tagging: @oxygenforthewicked @blueheaded @little-lightning-lavellan @noire-pandora @the-dreadful-canine and anyone else that’d like to play! (no pressure, of course!)

[wingsofkpop]

Hiraeth - I.IX: Bloodborne

pairing(s): Hybrid!Im Jaebeom x Reader, Witch!Mark Tuan x Reader, Werewolf!Jackson Wang x Reader, Vampire!Park Jinyoung x Reader, Supernatural!Got7 x Reader

genre: Supernatural!AU, Dark Magic!AU, heavy Angst, eventual Smut

warnings: Mature language, mentions of death and murder, violence, explicit descriptions of fighting, blood and gore, some satanic themes, mentions of trauma, etc. 

word count: 6,5k

synopsis: How far are you willing to go to find out the truth about Moon Dye Bay?…

chapter directory

“—so once Youngjae channels enough power from the blood moon tonight, he’ll be able to lower the veil between the Other Side and the physical plane long enough to resurrect your spirit into a mortal body.” You explain, glancing over your notes at the unusually quiet figure sitting on your bed. Something about his expression seems distant—almost sorrowful. 

After your return from the hospital, and after the long chat with your roommate convincing her that your absence all night was due to a last minute work emergency, a certain ghost phased into your bedroom. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be this concerned, but during his visits, Jackson usually never shuts up. If you were all alone with no one to talk to, you probably wouldn’t either. 

You lower your notebook and shake your head, “You haven’t said one word since you showed up. What’s wrong?”

Jackson purses his lips, as if nervous to relay the thoughts swirling through his mind. Another brief moment of silence passes before he finally murmurs, “It’s the witches. They’re starting to get suspicious again… I don’t know how long I have before they figure out I’ve been crossing over to this plane.”  

“Then we’ll just have to bring you back before they find out.” You grab your phone from your desk, checking through your notifications to see if a certain siphoner has yet responded to your dozens of texts and calls. No dice. 

You haven’t been able to reach Youngjae since yesterday morning, which is odd considering the guy is the type to respond within three seconds of receiving a message. It would be one thing if he let you know that he’s busy, but it’s complete radio silence. It’s not like Youngjae at all. 

“You’re worried about something.” 

Your eyes dartup at Jackson’s observation, discovering his concerned gaze focused on you. 

“It’s Youngjae.” You sigh, “I haven’t heard from him, but I’m sure he’s just busy brewing potions or something.” You expect to earn at least a chuckle from the ghost, but his silence remains along with the blank expression along his face. His same distant demeanor also lingers, and this time, your concern grows to panic. “What is it, Jackson? What’s going on?” 

“I didn’t want to say anything cause I was sure it was all in my head, but I feel that something is… weird.” 

“Weird?” 

“It’s hard to explain.” He continues, “But as a ghost, I can feel things around me… like right now, the universe just seems off—” His voice cuts out as he frantically shakes his head, “Anyway, I just want you to be careful. Mark used to tell me that disrupting the balance of nature is like opening Pandora’s box.” 

“Yeah. We will be doing none of that.” You set your phone down before crossing the room to kneel in front of Jackson. A grin lifts to your lips as you hum to the ghost, “So what do you feel when you’re around me?...” 

Jackson raises an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” 

“You said you feel things around you… Do you feel anything special when you’re with me?” 

You’re surprised at the eagerness that swells in your chest as he takes his time to think over your question. The inquiry was supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood, but you’re actually curious about your companion’s ghastly perceptions. After maybe a minute or two, Jackson sends you a small smile: 

“I feel… light.” 

“Light? What is that supposed to mean?” 

“You have this aura around you.” Jackson affirms, mindlessly reaching forward thumb at your cheek. You obviously can’t feel his touch, but something in your gut tells you that if you could, you would feel nothing but warmth. “I feel powerful when I’m with you…” 

“Is that a good thing?”  

He grins, “I think so.” 

You continue to stare at one another for a moment, almost attempting to read the depths in each other’s eyes. It’s not until a harsh knock resonates from the front door do you finally break the gaze, offering Jackson a final hum, “I’ll bring you back as soon as I can. I promise.” 

Jackson nods, “I know you will. But like I said, please be careful.” 

“I will. See you soon.” You wait for Jackson to disappear completely before exiting your bedroom, cursing Sana for leaving you to deal with whoever is incessantly banging on your door. It’s probably the old lady from across the hall wanting to borrow another cup of sugar. You roll your eyes at the thought and open the door, ready to politely decline your neighbor’s request.

Your words die on your tongue—definitely not the old lady from across the hall.  

“Mark? What are you—?” 

“What? Not expecting to see me?” Mark’s hostile growl takes you by surprise, as does the furious expression etched along his features. “That’s not surprising since you’ve been ignoring me.” 

“I’ve been busy.” 

“Oh. I’m sure.” 

You cross your arms over your chest. “What the hell is your problem?” 

“You wanna know what my problem is?” Mark takes a step closer to you before pointing a finger in your direction, “The fact that you not only lie to me, but you go behind my back and then deliberately avoid me for days on end.” 

“What are you even talking about, Mark?” 

“I’m talking about you and Youngjae playing God and resurrecting Jackson.” 

Your muscles instantly freeze, as if Mark had taken a tub of ice water and thrown it over your head. The annoyance inside your chest shifts to guilt, and your once cold features cannot help but soften. 

You shake your head, “Mark, I—” 

“Do you know how dangerous it is to bring someone back from the dead, (Y/N)?” Mark lowers his voice, but his tone remains as frigid as his gaze. “Do you know the consequences that happen when you fuck with the balance of nature?” 

“I get that, but—it’s complicated, Mark… There’s things you don’t understand—” 

“I don’t understand!?” He scoffs, “Last I checked, I’m the goddamn witch here, (Y/N)! You know nothing about magic and its sacrifice!” 

“Maybe not, but I do know that there is a chance I could bring Jackson back!” You shake your head again, “Please, just give me a chance to explain—” 

“No. Because it’s not fucking happening.” Mark interrupts, furiously shaking his own head. “I forbid you to do this.” 

It’s like a switch goes off in your mind. Your guilt immediately transforms, but this time, it configures into rage: 

“You forbid me!? Who the flying fuck do you think you are!?”

“I won’t sit back and allow you to get yourself killed—!” 

“And last I checked, you don’t have the right to control what I do and the decisions I make!” You seethe, stepping further back into your apartment. “This is my choice. I’m resurrecting Jackson whether you like it or not.” 

“Fine! Get yourself fucking killed for all I care!” The witch raises his hands in mock surrender. “At least then I won’t have to deal with your reckless, moronic ass!”

“Fuck you, Mark.” You don’t allow the witch to say anything further and slam the door in his face. Your chest remains unbearably heavy, both physically and mentally, but you ignore the sweltering emotions and begin to traverse around the apartment, gathering your bag and other assorted belongings. 

A confused and rather concerned Sana emerges from her bedroom a few seconds later. “Are you okay? What was with all that yelling?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” You huff, shoving your arms through the sleeves of your jacket. “Just Mark being a douchebag, as per usual.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“To find Youngjae.”

“Isn’t it kind of late?” 

“I’m an adult, Sana.” You snap before throwing your bag over your shoulder. “Don’t wait up for me.” 

Similar to Mark, you don’t allow Sana the chance to question you further and sprint out the front door, praying that Youngjae will be up to bringing Jackson back in the next few hours. 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

Mark has never exercised the greatest control over his emotions. It first began when he was twelve, after his dad walked out on his mom. He found himself sobbing his eyes out some days, and beating the shit out of other kids on others. His mood ranged from intense rage to extreme depression. There was no in between. 

In an effort to help, his mom enrolled him in a program designed to teach teens how to handle their emotions. But to no one’s surprise, the therapy didn’t do shit and Mark continued to initiate fights and cry himself to sleep most nights. He never understood why he felt this way—he still doesn’t, to be honest. His dad and him were never close, nor did he ever really care about his sudden departure. Maybe he was just an angry kid with depression. Maybe it was something else. 

It wasn’t until his mom was killed did Mark begin to pull his life together, which also happened to be around the same time he met the too-friendly, homeschooled kid with an ego the size of Jupiter, Jackson Wang. Sure, the two of them butted heads every so often, but with Jackson being a werewolf, Mark learned the importance of managing the chaos within. ‘Emotion is like a loaded gun,’ he remembers Jackson once said, ‘If you let yourself pull the trigger without first aiming down sights, then you risk sinking a bullet into someone you love.’ Those words remain with him—remind him what means to stay in control. 

But when it involves the people he loves, Mark can’t always regulate the ticking bomb counting down in his soul. 

An ache settles in his chest as he recalls the passionate fire in your gaze. There’s always been some parts of you that reminds Mark of his past friend, specifically your stubbornness and inability to think before you act. He’s never found himself hating those parts of you until now—and he shouldn’t, Mark knows that, but he’s so fucking angry and so fucking scared of losing yet another one of the most important people in his life.

He’s experienced his fair share of loss, but losing you… It would break him. Completely. 

Mark tries to push the intrusive thoughts from the forefront of his mind and focus on navigating his way through the dark maze of headstones and crumbling tombs. Right after you slammed your front door in his face, he received a text from Youngjae summoning him, Jisung and Lia to an emergency meeting at the edge of the cemetery. He’s still mad at the siphoner for assisting with your reckless scheme, but he won’t allow his pettiness to interfere with the safety of the coven. 

A sigh falls from his lips—he does regret ever saying those ending words to you though… because what if they’re the last ones you hear from him. 

‘I’m so sorry, Jackson…’ 

Mark’s misery is forgotten when he notices a group of people up ahead. He recognizes Lia, Jisung and Youngjae flocked together inside a chalk-white circle surrounded by lit torches. For a moment, Mark wonders if they’re in the middle of performing some type of seance, but his curiosity dwindles into confusion when he grows aware of the panic present in each set of their features. 

He breaks into a sprint to cover more distance, approaching the strangely placed trio in no time. At the sight of him, Lia immediately bursts into tears, furthering the anxiety bubbling at the back of his throat. 

“What the hell is going on!?” 

“Hyung! You have to get out of here right now!” Mark notices the swollen, angry flesh of Youngjae’s bottom lip as he speaks, along with the ugly bruise underneath his left eye. 

“What happened?” He ignores the siphoner’s warnings, attempting to reach inside the circle and grab Lia’s arm. However, his hand is met with resistance—a boundary spell. “Who did this to you?” 

Lia sobs, “Just go, Mark! Before he hurts you!” 

“Before who hurts me!? What are you—” His demands die in his throat as another figure appears from behind a large, marble gravestone. He immediately recognizes the newcomer, which sends even more confusion through his veins. “Seo Changbin? What the hell is this?” 

“It’s an emergency meeting, hyung.” Mark feels his entire body freeze when the familiar, conniving voice enters his ears. “You had me a little worried… I almost thought you wouldn’t show up.” 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Mark whirls around to face a smirking Minho cockily leaning against the wall of an empty tomb. “What kind of game do you think you’re playing, Minho?”

The younger witch shrugs before pushing off the wall to pace around the area. As he draws closer and closer, Mark can spy an ancient, navy blue ring sitting heavily on his forefinger. He’s never seen any piece of jewelry like it before, but something in his gut told him it wasn’t just a simple ring—and that he’s definitely in some kind of trouble. 

“Mind explaining to me what we’re doing here? Or are you just going to continue pacing around the place like a cocky bastard?” 

“Tonight is a special night, hyung… You wanna know why?” He watches Minho point to the night sky, “In just a few minutes, the moon will drift into the Earth’s shadow and the light of the sun will reflect across the moon’s surface, thus causing a blood moon… It’s actually pretty cool—” 

“For Christsake, Minho—get to the goddamn point.”

“You know, for years I had to deal with all your bullshit excuses and justifications of putting our coven in danger—it was only a matter of time until one of us ended up dead, don’t you think?” 

A bitter memory of Nayeon’s corpse resurfaces, but Mark remains silent. 

“Everyone was too fucking blind, but I saw right through you.” Mark doesn’t move a muscle when Minho suddenly approaches, crowding his space until his nose is mere inches from brushing his own. The younger witch’s harsh glare bleeds into his soul as he continues, “You’re a poor fucking excuse for a leader, hyung—a leader who can’t even protect his own people.” 

“And you think you can do better, huh?” Mark growls, glaring his own daggers into Minho’s gaze. “You have no fucking clue what it takes to run this coven… Admit it, you’re just pissed they chose me over you.” 

“And look where that got them.” 

“You need to cut out whatever petty bullshit this is and let Youngjae, Jisung and Lia go.” Mark murmurs, “Whatever problems you have are with me, so let’s just talk it out, okay?” 

“Oh, Mark-hyung…” Minho’s gaze is unwavering from his own as he lifts a hand to rest on Mark’s shoulder. It’s a second too late that Mark realizes it is the same hand in which holds the mysterious ring: 

“I’m over talking it out.” 

Youngjae’s screams and Lia’s sobs echo in his ears along with the words that spill from Minho’s lips—they’re foreign, but Mark recognizes the spell right away. He tries to squirm and fight against the perpetrator’s grip, but another pair of hands keep his body in place—Changbin. 

Bit by bit, Mark feels the buzz of his magic lift from his veins like a flock of doves. His limbs grow weak and his head fuzzy. Soon enough, his own knees no longer bear the strength to hold his weight. Once both Minho and Changbin release him, Mark collapses to the ground—empty and unable to rise. 

“What did you do to him!?” Mark hears Jisung’s voice for the first time, although his brain is not fully able to comprehend the inquiry. 

“I took his magic. He won’t be needing it anymore.” 

Mark manages to find enough strength to reposition his body in a way that allows him to watch both Minho and Changbin approach a makeshift altar composed of an old, concrete coffin. Through the blur of his vision, he catches the witch stirring some kind of crimson mixture—likely blood. Minho looks to the moon, which is slowly brightening to a shade of maroon, before resting his gaze on his companion: 

“It’s time.” He offers the mixture to Changbin, “Once you drink this, I can begin the transformation.” 

“And you’re sure this spell will give me everything I need to take down the Primes?” 

“One hundred percent.” 

Take down the Primes?… Fucking hell. 

“Minho! Don’t do this!” Mark can’t make out his own voice between the ringing of his ears and the beating of his heart, but he can only hope they’re audible enough for his audience. “The transformation—it won’t work!” 

Youngjae shakes his head. “I don’t understand… What are you talking about, hyung?” 

“He’s going to try to recreate the spell I used on Jackson on Changbin.” With a huff and a puff, Mark pushes himself to his hands and knees. He attempts to crawl forward, but the spinning of his head sends his body sprawling along the ground once again. He abandons any more thoughts of movement and speaks to Minho directly, “It will kill him—do you understand me!? You can’t—” 

“You failed because you couldn’t draw enough power to complete the transformation.” Minho doesn’t even bother to look in his direction, “It will work—I know it will.”

Understanding there’s no possible way to convince the witch, Mark looks to the werewolf instead, “I’m warning you, Changbin! If you go through with this, you will die!” 

“Don’t listen to him. Just drink the blood.” 

“No! For fucksake, this is suicide!” 

“Think of Jackson.” Minho murmurs to a torn Changbin, reaching across the altar to place a supportive hand on his shoulder. “Do it for him.” 

“Changbin, don’t—!” 

Mark watches in horror as Changbin throws back the mixture and downs its entirety in two gulps. His heart shatters like the glass vial the werewolf launches to the ground. He peers to his left, discovering the same shocked expressions across Youngjae, Jisung and Lia’s faces, and shakes his head in defeat as Lia begins to sob again. 

“Filia maximo… Filia maximo… Morsus, morsus—” The wind begins to screech as Minho chants, tearing at Mark’s hair and nudging at his clothes, as if pleading for him to stop the spell. But there’s nothing he can do. For once, Mark is powerless. “—morsus… Advenio donec duo est revertus mors…” With a loud scream, Changbin collapses to the earth. He squirms and writhes in pain underneath the flaming light of the moon—and Mark can’t help but attempt to block out the snaps of his cracking bones. 

The scene seems to last for hours until Changbin eventually grows silent. Mark takes the time to catch his breath, unable to control his lungs over the anxiety, fear and nausea lurking through his veins. He wants to look away from the still werewolf, but his gaze is as frozen as the rest of his body. 

His eyes burn with tears of rage—Changbin is dead. Another person died because of his own fucking stupidity. Mark should have known this would happen again. He should have stopped it. He should have—

His thoughts disappear as Changbin suddenly gasps for air. For a moment, he claws at the earth as if attempting to ground himself, before he finally, albeit shakily, climbs to his feet. Minho cautiously approaches the wolf, peering down at the shorter male with a gaze full of concern. 

“How do you feel?...” 

“I feel…” Changbin flexes his fingers again, before closing them into tight fists. The moonlight illuminates the crimson glow of his irises and the sharpness of his long, black fangs as he faces the witch—a malicious smirk spreading along his lips as he chuckles, “I feel like kicking some ancient Prime ass.” 

Mark can’t find the strength to watch anymore and allows his head to lower to the earth. Just before his eyes flutter shut, he swears he spots the movement of shadows from behind a nearby headstone. But before he can confirm his suspicions, his head takes one final spin and the world grows dark. 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

June 13th, 1769 — As much as I enjoy the atmosphere of Paris, I believe it is time to progress onto another part of the world. Some of the townsfolk are beginning to grow suspicious, considering I appear twenty years younger than my supposed age. Nevertheless, I will not mind a new start elsewhere. Jaebeom, on the other hand, will be a terror to convince. As he claimed last time I brought the idea to light, ‘There will never be a place more beautiful than Paris.’

But I know he is not through playing with his newest toy—Tzuyu. 

I set sail for the newlands tomorrow at sunrise. Whether my brother decides to accompany me or not is solely his preference. It would be pleasant to spend some time apart—to spend some time in peace—but I know, with many complaints and reluctance, Jaebeom will board the ship tomorrow. Wherever I traverse, he follows, and vice versa. We are family, after all. 

I will miss Notre Dame the most. I have grown used to visiting the Cathedral and repenting my wrongdoings to the high priest. Of course, I am forced to erase his memory of our talks each time, but it is nice to confess. It lifts a weight off of the shoulders, takes away a small portion of the guilt. If there is a god, he would never allow a creature like me to walk amongst his heavens—but at least I can salvage the lingering hope left inside of my soul. Speaking of hope, I thought I saw a woman that resembled Irene during my daily visit to the church. I find it amusing that after all these years, my heart continues to yearn for her presence. She was truly special—I wonder if she ever thought the same of me. 

I’ve heard some of the sailors refer to a shore in the newland that has yet to be claimed. It may be the perfect location for Jaebeom and I to start anew.  I can only hope it is as beautiful as people say. Maybe I will construct a place of worship as stunning as the Cathedral. 

Isn’t that ironic?... A vampire who believes in faith. 

Jinyoung finishes the entry with a sigh, welcoming the nostalgia that spreads through his thoughts like an old friend. It seems just yesterday that he recorded his first thoughts about the land that would become Moon Dye Bay. He shakes his head, carefully setting the old journal back on the bookshelf. 

He never did build that church. 

“Reminiscing again, brother?” The moment is ruined when a certain hybrid’s snicker reaches his ears. Jinyoung rolls his eyes as Jaebeom takes residence beside him, dragging his fingers along the spines of Jinyoung’s other diaries. “We did have some great times back in the 18th century… Remember our battles during the French Revolution? I rather enjoyed King Louis and Marie Antoinette’s executions.” 

“You enjoy anything that involves bloodshed.” 

“Don’t be so resentful, Jinyoungie. It’s not my fault that the queen had you in her interests.” 

Jinyoung shakes his head before retreating to his desk to fix himself a drink. “The woman was as shallow as a poor soul’s ego. She was taken with any man who’d pay her the time of day. It was a miracle her death came as quickly as it did.” 

“Careful there. You sound like me.” 

Jinyoung deliberately chooses not to respond to Jaebeom’s comment and proceeds to pour two glasses of bourbon. He ignores his companion’s wide smirk as he hands him one of the drinks. Both the vampire and the hybrid simultaneously take a sip, peering at one another over the rims of their cups. Jaebeom is the first to break the silence with a pleased inhale and a hum: 

“You returned pretty late last night. I hope you used protection during your time with (Y/N).” 

“Mind your tongue, hyung.” Jinyoung warns, “I brought (Y/N) to the hospital after the attack—I trust you took care of Tzuyu?” 

Jaebeom smirks. “Of course. She won’t be alive long enough to target your newest Maria Antonia again.” 

About to inhale another sip of his bourbon, Jinyoung pauses to mull over the answer. He lowers his glass to his side before delivering Jaebeom a confused expression and a murmured inquiry, “What do you mean she won’t be alive?” 

“Tzuyu and I got into an argument and, well, she pissed me off.” Jinyoung watches Jaebeom down the rest of his drink. 

“Please tell me you didn’t bite her, Jaebeom-hyung.” He curses at the widening of Jaebeom’s smirk, slamming his glass back down on his desk with enough force to crack its exterior. “When I told you to deal with her, I didn’t mean condemn her to a fate of pain. If you wished to kill her, you could have at least been merciful and done it quick.” 

“Last I checked, you said it yourself not to be kind.” Jinyoung follows Jaebeom as he pours himself another drink and collapses onto a brown, leather sofa. He tips his glass toward him with a smile before continuing, “I thought the punishment fit the crime, and we wouldn’t want to put helpless, human (Y/N) in danger again, would we?” 

“You turned it off, didn’t you?” Jinyoung realizes, “Does holding onto your humanity wound you that badly, hyung? That you have no choice but to wish it away?” 

“If I remember correctly, I’m not the only one that can’t hold onto their humanity… How many people did you kill in the ‘20s alone? One thousand? Maybe two?” 

Jinyoung shakes his head, “I’m not that person anymore.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” In the blink of an eye, Jaebeom is in front of Jinyoung—his glass in pieces on the floor beside him. He leans in until Jinyoung can taste the alcohol of his breath on his tongue, then whispers darkly, “You can lie to yourself all you fucking want, Jinyoung. But deep down, you’ll always know what you are… let’s just hope (Y/N) never finds out, hm?” 

At the mention of your name, Jinyoung’s anger expands. He suppresses the urge to take the table beside him and smash it over the hybrid’s head, and instead inhales a deep breath. Jaebeom is only trying to provoke him—and he refuses to be a pawn in his foolish games. 

“You will remember what it was like to feel human again.” Jinyoung sighs, “For your sake, I hope your remembrance comes sooner rather than later.” 

Jaebeom tsks, “Being human is overrated.” 

“He said the same thing about fate.” Both Jinyoung and Jaebeom whirl around at the appearance of a third voice. Jinyoung feels his blood begin to boil at the sight of the familiar vampire in the doorway, once again, suppressing his desire to launch a piece of furniture in her direction. “Ironically, fate and humanity are a package deal.” 

Jaebeom growls, “What the fuck are you doing here, Tzuyu?” 

“I came to try and convince you to give me your blood.” Tzuyu coughs, and Jinyoung swears he can hear the rattle of her bones. “But judging by your attitude, that’s obviously going to be harder than I thought.” 

“You have courage for showing your face again.” Jinyoung crosses his arms with a dark hum, “Especially so soon after you nearly killed (Y/N).”

“It wasn’t my intention to kill her. I just wanted to send a message.” 

“Is that so?” With a malicious glare, Jinyoung steps forward and tilts his head toward the vampire, “And what kind of message was that?” 

“For (Y/N) to stay away from Jaebeom.” Another violent cough wracks through Tzuyu’s thin form, causing a light stream of blood to splatter from her lips. She wipes her mouth with a ragged breath before continuing, “Look, I did it for her own good. We all know his track record at keeping humans alive.” 

“You did it to protect her!?” Jaebeom cackles, “Wow! That’s fucking priceless!” 

“Say what you will, you both know I’m right.” Tzuyu says, propping herself up against a nearby bookshelf. “It’s either she ends up dead or is turned into a vampire—then again, there’s not much of a difference between the two, is there?” 

“I would die before I allow (Y/N) to come to any harm.” 

“The only issue with that is you can’t die, Jinyoung.” Jinyoung doesn’t take his eyes off Tzuyu as she grabs a bottle of brandy from the top shelf. It takes her literal seconds to unscrew the cap and down a good portion of the container. She licks her lips and says, “I’m sorry I attacked (Y/N), okay? I went too far. I won’t do it again.” 

“You think an apology is enough to save your life?” Jaebeom snickers before snatching the alcohol from the vampire, “Think again, sweetheart.” 

“What do you want from me, Jaebeom? Does seeing me die a slow, painful death bring you joy?” 

He shrugs, “No one mourns for the wicked.” 

“Is he always this much of an asshole?” 

Jinyoung chuckles, “Pretty much.” 

“Great.” The vampire breathes out a sigh and cards her fingers through her hair. After a brief moment of silence, she directs her attention back to Jaebeom and pleads—her voice packed with desperation and fear, “What can I do to convince you to let me live? Please, Jaebeom… I don’t want to die.” 

“You should have thought about that before you touched what I told you not to.” Jinyoung remains quiet as Jaebeom lifts a hand to grasp Tzuyu’s jaw. The dying visitor remains unphased, proceeding to glare at the hybrid with hateful, yet oddly sorrowful eyes. “I suggest you show yourself out before I end your life sooner.” 

“You’re going to lose everything one of these days, Jaebeom.” Tzuyu shakes her head sadly, wiping away a layer of cold sweat from her forehead. “You’re going to lose everyone, even your brother, and you’re going to be alone. For an eternity.” 

“Save the monologue.” Jaebeom waves dismissively, taking a sip of the brandy before returning it back to its shelf. “Petty isn’t a good look for you, baby.” 

“Fuck you, Jaebeom.” Tzuyu goes to stomp out the door, but something—someone blocks her path. The atmosphere changes when Jinyoung notices your panicked form, practically gasping for air and cross-eyed, standing in the doorway. He immediately speeds to your side without hesitation, grasping your hands in hopes to ground you. 

He stares into your eyes, “What is it, (Y/N)? What’s wrong?” 

“You and Jaebeom have to get the hell out of here! Right now!” 

Jaebeom shakes his head in confusion, “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know what exactly happened but Minho turned Changbin into this dark werewolf creature or-or something… I do know, however, that Changbin is on his way right now to kill you both.” Jinyoung steps back at the intensity of your explanation, unable to think of a response over the roar of his thoughts. Through his peripheral vision, he can spot the same type of speechlessness across Jaebeom’s face. 

Not again… 

“That’s stupid… You realize nothing can kill them, right?” Tzuyu scoffs. 

“This is different.” You urge, “I saw Changbin—he wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before… The spell that Minho used, it was-was—” 

“Dark magic.” Jinyoung finishes blankly, “The spell was dark magic.” 

“Yes… which means you and Jaebeom need to leave town as fast as you possibly can before—” 

“I don’t think anyone is going anywhere, (Y/N).” Jinyoung’s entire body grows stiff as a new voice echoes throughout the study. He cautiously turns his head, discovering none other than the young werewolf in question resting among the shadows. His eye also catches the open window a few inches away, and he curses himself for ever wanting to feel the nightly draft. 

Changbin’s smirk is as dark as his eyes. 

“What?... Not going to offer me a drink?” 

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

“(Y/N)! Get out of here! Now!” Jaebeom hears Jinyoung scream as the werewolf suddenly launches forward, knocking his brother into the bookshelf behind him. The wood completely splinters beneath the impact, raining down an array of books and planks on Jinyoung’s body. Changbin turns to Jaebeom next, but the hybrid is ready—and pissed off. 

Jaebeom speeds toward the intruder and delivers a swift kick to the gut. Changbin flies back at the force, crashing back through the window with a loud growl. Sensing the urgency in time, Jaebeom quickly throws Jinyoung’s immobile body over his shoulder and urges both you and Tzuyu out the study door. 

“Come on! We gotta go!” 

“Jaebeom! What the hell is happening!?” He ignores Tzuyu’s fearful ask and proceeds to lug Jinyoung through the maze of hallways and down the staircase, you and the female vampire hot on his heels. He doesn’t know exactly where he’s going, but he makes his way to the parlor where he props Jinyoung up against a nearby chair before turning to you: 

“You need to leave. I will deal with this.” 

“No way. I’m not going anywhere.” Jaebeom curses your stubbornness inside his head, sending a stern glare in your direction. Your expression remains fixated, and he can’t help but wish your presence in any other situation but now. 

“I can’t protect you right now—” 

“And I can’t sit back and watch you get yourselves killed!” You shake your head indignantly, “I’m staying!” 

“Fucking hell, (Y/N)! Get your ass out that door before I throw you out myself!” 

“Jaebeom, watch out!” At Tzuyu’s cue, a wooden branch comes soaring in through the window. Jaebeom immediately throws himself against you, effectively forcing your body to the ground to dodge the projectile. He can feel your fear through the trembling of your limbs and hurried breaths, but it only brings him more determination to tear apart his attacker. 

He shakes his head in surrender, “You stay on the fucking ground, understand? Don’t you fucking dare move a muscle.” He doesn’t bother to wait for a response and pushes himself back to his feet. 

Tzuyu is huddled in a corner, and Jinyoung has yet to awaken from his crash landing back in the study. Jaebeom tries to focus his senses on detecting the werewolf, but he can’t seem to hear anything past the beating of his own heart. He carefully makes his way over to the incapacitated vampire, attempting to force him back to consciousness. 

“Now is really not the time for a fucking nap, Jinyoung.” He hisses, “I swear to god, if I have to save your ass one more time—” Another wave of tree branches come crashing through the windows. Unfortunately, Jaebeom is not as quick and one catches his shoulder at just the right angle. He feels the wood sink into his flesh, painfully carving into his bones. With a low groan, Jaebeom manages to grab the makeshift stake and remove it in one hefty pull. 

He tosses it away with a yell, “You gonna hide like a little bitch!? Or are you gonna come out and fight like a man!?” 

“Be careful what you wish for, asshole!” Jaebeom turns just in time to discover the werewolf emerging from a shattered window. His blood boils when he notices the sadistic grin along the young kid’s face—he wonders how those teeth will look strewn across the parlor floor. 

Changbin comes at him fast, much faster than Jaebeom could have predicted. He manages to dodge a set of jabs, but he’s not so lucky when Changbin lands a heavy hit against the side of his face. Pain erupts through his jaw as he collapses to the floor, but Jaebeom doesn’t have the chance to dwell over it and rolls out of the way just as the werewolf attempts to stomp his nose. 

Jaebeom tries to speed away again, but like before, his counterpart is faster. Changbin manages to force him to the floor for a second time, pinning his body down with his own. Horrified, the hybrid watches as the werewolf’s eyes glow blood red and large, pitch black fangs emerge past his parted lips. Once again, he attempts to break free, but it’s no use—Changbin is too strong. 

Just when he believes the wolf’s fangs are going to sink into his neck, another form knocks Changbin away. Jaebeom hurriedly props himself on his arms in time to watch Tzuyu deliver a series of hits and kicks to the perpetrator, eventually slamming his head into a nearby armoire. Taking advantage of the moment, she turns from Changbin to Jaebeom instead: 

“Grab Jinyoung and (Y/N) and run!” She screams, “Get the hell of here!” 

Unable to move, Jaebeom remains as Tzuyu attempts to fight off the wolf. But with the combination of his ultimate strength and her weakness from Jaebeom’s venom, her defeat is inevitable. He watches in terror as Changbin sinks his teeth into the vampire’s arm before yanking her head forward and effectively snapping her neck. Jaebeom feels his insides practically soar with rage when the attacker tosses a comatose Tzuyu across the room like a useless toy. 

“I’ll kill you…” He sneers, allowing his own supernatural features to overtake his face. “I’ll fucking kill you…” 

Changbin shakes his head with a smirk, “I’d like to see you try.” 

Using the little agility he has left, Jaebeom grabs one of the branches and speeds toward the wolf. Due to Changbin’s movements, he misses his chest, but manages to stab the weapon in his stomach. Changbin releases a pained groan, allowing Jaebeom to take advantage of his surprise and land another array of uppercuts to his face. Just when he finally thinks he has the upper hand, his opponent blocks one of his hits and pins him against a wall with a hand around his throat. 

“Any last words, Prime?”

“You really think you can kill me?” Jaebeom growls, squirming against Changbin’s hold. 

“I know I can… Have fun rotting in Hell—fuck!” 

Shock spills through Jaebeom’s veins as the point of branch suddenly appears through the center of the wolf’s chest, splattering red across both of their bodies. Changbin’s grip releases, allowing the hybrid to quickly speed out of his reach. Once he’s a safe distances away, Jaebeom looks to his savior, discovering the one person he never expected to see—

You stand over Changbin’s body—chest heaving and bloodied hands trembling. Your eyes are glassy when Jaebeom meets your gaze, and for some reason, he feels the urge to go and pull your form into a tight embrace. Your voice, however, returns his mind to reality: 

“Did I… Did I kill him?” 

“I don’t think so.” Jaebeom answers, nursing his wound with his own shaky fingers. “We need to get out of here—get somewhere safe.” 

“Good idea.” You trudge over to where Jinyoung is still unconsciously laid across the chair. Jaebeom follows your lead and hurries over to a lifeless Tzuyu. “I know somewhere we can go… but I don’t think you’re going to like it.” 

“(Y/N)... There is an immortal, unkillable super wolf out to kill me and my brother currently in my living room…”  He snorts, maneuvering Tzuyu’s body into one arm and assisting you and Jinyoung with the other. 

“Trust me, anywhere is a hell of a lot better than here…”

[tundrainafrica]

Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (2/17)

Summary:  “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice. At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: As always, feedback is very much appreciated. 

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

"Hey! Are you alive?"

Levi's body was on fire. Another type of pain, added to the list that only grew longer and longer the more mornings he woke up to.

It was new. In the grand scheme of things though, it was routine. When Levi woke up, the pain was already fading into a distant memory. He knew it could be easily soothed with a Tylenol and a few more minutes in bed. He had to press his face harder into the pillow, focusing on the feeling of cloth and cotton on his face to get a grip on his reality. He wanted to hear that voice again but at the same time he wanted to escape that pain.

That voice was familiar. Levi was sure when he showed up for training she would be there, and he could listen to her again. He ended up adding salt to the wounds though as he remembered the last few things he had said to her the night before.

It could have been from the stress of the whole ordeal or the embarrassment of having blurted out a bunch of nonsense.

Who the hell are we escaping from? Levi had scrambled for an answer then. What came out were a string of words he wished he had never said.

“Nothing.”

“Hey, I’ve spent a lot of time talking, I wanna learn something about you too.”

“My life is none of your business.”

She had kept quiet soon after. As Levi recalled how she had offered to take him home, he only buried his face further into the pillow. A part of him thought that maybe if he deprived himself of oxygen enough, he could forget the conversation between them.

“How far is your house from here? I’ll take you home. It’s my fault you got injured anyway.”

“It’s fine.”

“You sure you’ll get home safe?”

“Why do you care? We just met. I couldn’t care less either if you got home safe or not.”

We just met. Obviously I wouldn’t care too much about her. His meager justification did nothing to placate the guilt that had taken over him, leaving him unable to move.

He remembered the face she had made before he turned away and limped home. He had thought to himself then that maybe she just wore her heart on her sleeve. Most people probably would have thought the same thing as they saw the way she bit her lip and looked away. She could have been about to cry. Levi could not help but think though that she wouldn’t. Her mental resilience is stronger than that. Levi just knew.

Either way, Levi still regretted his actions that night. He spent the next few minutes in bed gathering himself up mentally for his morning training. As he pushed himself into a sitting position and planted his feet on the floor next to his bed, he felt his knees protest at the weight. At that moment, the dull pain on his palms also made themselves known.

Of course it wouldn’t heal. How long has it been 12 hours? When injured, most of his teammates could easily skip training with little to no consequences, as long as they sent a text. Most of his teammates still showed up anyway to watch. Feeling a little guilty for having skipped training just yesterday, Levi decided to show up anyway.

It was a force of habit more than anything for Levi to throw his jacket and shorts on, grab his gym bag and hurry to the track as soon as he saw the first signs of the sun about to rise. In fact, he only realized how completely useless it was to be thirty minutes early when he was already sitting alone in the empty clubroom, entertaining himself by looking for patterns in the stains and discolored blots on the ceiling.

He considered going back to the dorm and just informing his coach on his recent injury. He had already exited the clubroom when he decided otherwise.

The track stretched out in front of him, illuminated by the dim light from the sunrise. The morning was notably cooler and Levi remembered that summer was ending soon, if it hadn’t ended yet. The days would only get colder and classes were starting next week. How long would he be able to enjoy a morning walk without having to wear an extra layer or without considering how he could fit in a shower before his next class?

Levi ignored resistance of the stitches on his knees and the stinging pain of sweat and bandages rubbing against his palms, allowing himself a slow jog around the oval. He promised himself instead to sit out the rest of the training. His coach would probably stop him anyway when he sees the state of Levi’s hands and knees.

“Levi!”

It turned out Levi was right. Time had gone faster as Levi focused on the rhythm of his breathing, the cool wind that brushed past him and the scenery that blurred past him. Also, his coach had stopped him as soon as he arrived.

“What happened to you?” Greg gave Levi a onceover before shaking his head.

“I fell while jumping on the hurdles.”

“Get that checked. I’m not allowing you to join training until you see a doctor.”

Levi looked down to see blood seeping from the white of the bandages. His stitches split open. He could barely give his coach a nod, too disappointed by being forced out of training, a little angry at Hange for indirectly causing that energy, too conflicted by his own feelings. He grabbed his phone which he had left on the table next to the track and walked away from the track.

He had to grab the gym bag he left in the club room. He made sure to take the long way back, the scenic route with more trees than people. Having just been told off by his coach, having been barred from training, Levi felt like he was taking a walk of shame and he preferred not to run into anyone else.

He checked his phone. It was six in the morning. The university clinic opened at eight. He could kill those two hours quickly in the empty clubroom while everyone was training. By the time they finished morning training, he would be on his way to the clinic.

He had plans of just lying on the bench for the next two hours, exhausting all the content in all of his social media timelines and maybe getting into some other Wikipedia or article black hole. On his way to the clubroom, he set his alarm for 7:45 that morning.

As he arrived in the clubroom though, he found himself occupied by something else.

Everyone in the club always put their stuff away in the cubbyholes to the side. There was more than enough space for everyone. Yet somehow, even with three cubby holes open, someone had decided to leave their bag half open on the floor with what looked like half its contents spilling out.

Levi gathered what had spilled out. He had the option of just dropping it into the bag leaving the problem of organizing it to the owner. His fastidiousness took over though and Levi found himself spreading out the contents of the bag and putting it into the bag in a way that would have made it take the least space in the cubby.

“Sorry. I forgot my phone in my bag.”

Levi heard footsteps and voices just outside the clubroom and it was only then was he become aware of the fact that he had invaded someone’s privacy. He hurriedly pushed the contents of the bag into the nearest cubbyhole.

His hands though were not at their strongest, still sore from the accident last night. It was at the moment the door opened did the bag fall again on the floor, its contents spilling out, more haphazardly and messily than he had found it.

He looked up at the door to see Hange and behind her, another student.

"Levi…" Hange’s mouth was turned up in a smile but her eyes were expressing otherwise.

Levi wondered what he looked like crouched down next to her bag, with its contents spread out all over the room. From the way Hange was staring at him, he guessed he could have even looked like a criminal. "I made a rule here. All bags go in the cubbyhole," Levi tried to keep an authoritative tone as he said it, maybe it could make up for the compromising position they had found him in, somehow.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry." Hange rushed beside him, carelessly gathering things into one bundle.

Levi noticed she kept herself a polite distance from him, purposefully pushing her bag into one of the cubbyholes farther away from where her bag had fallen.

"Just don't mess up the clubroom again."

Levi lay back on the bench as soon as the door closed behind him and propped his phone on his face. He could not even bring himself to even turn it on and lazily scroll through some timeline.  As he listened to the footsteps get further away, Levi closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  The rush of incomprehensible emotions had left him cold as he lost one of the few opportunities he did have to talk to her.

Why? Why couldn't I chase after her?

A part of him wanted to run after her, apologize then maybe thank her for last night.

A part of him was also just as pissed off with the chain of events. He was injured. He couldn't train. The club room was a mess. Hange had something to do with all of it.

His four years living in his own tiny island with only training and studies keeping him company had left him unable to process the strong emotions that came with human interaction.

Why does she make me so angry?

He was aware that he was abrasive and sometimes too frank. It had never bothered him then. He had always believed that it was also the other party's responsibility to handle their emotions well.  Hange had handled it better than many other people in similar positions yet...

Why do I care that it hurt her? How the hell did I say something so offensive so wrong?  In fact despite his inability to express a lot of feelings, Levi did care enough about people to check on injured teammates and help grandmas cross the street.  

He turned his phone on, deciding to occupy himself with Twitter for the next two hours. Watching people fight online was oddly calming.

                                A Tale of Two Slaves

By the time Levi made it to the university clinic, the bandages on his knees were bloody. The red buds had bloomed into adult flowers. Underneath, the stitches had to be redone, and Levi was prescribed antibiotics to prevent infection.

One of the nurses offered to go out of campus to buy it for him. Levi hid under the covers of one of the vacant beds in the nurse's office while waiting. The clinic was empty save for one nurse and one doctor with not many students living on campus just yet.

Levi found himself going through his timeline first, then articles on dreams.

By the time the doctor had checked on him, to ask him if he had plans to at least take a late lunch, Levi was in a black hole with 50 tabs open. They weren't about dreams or were they from random links he had found on his timeline.

They were all about Hange Zoe, pages worth of articles with pictures of her at varying ages. The awards varied, some were in the form of certificates, others as trophies. The girl behind them all was the same chestnut haired girl with that same overenthusiastic glint in her eyes.

Kid whiz Hange Zoe bags gold in the city wide

Governor congratulates the representative to the national Science symposium.

7 year old genius has big plans for the future.

Hange Zoe talks about future plans. "I want to test the physical limitations of the human body."

I wanna see how far we can throw, how fast we can run, how high we can jump, how high we can fly.

"Fucking stupid. Humans can't fly." Levi muttered to himself. He sat up in bed and checked the time at the corner of his phone.

3:00pm.

Afternoon training would generally start at five. He had time for a late lunch. Or dinner.

Nothing in the university was open though and the raw stitches on his knees continued to ache. Levi found himself staying in the club room two hours before training was to start, having Mcdonalds delivered instead at the doorway of the clubroom.

A few times he had heard footsteps by the door, he stood up the first two times, just to check who it had been. The clubrooms were lined up near the athletics area. All the sports teams hung around that area, he should not have been too surprised to realize that none of the foot traffic in that hour were from anyone in his team. In fact, he should not have expected that any of them would have been Hange.

Why the hell am I looking for her anyway?

Levi shifted to his side. The bench did not give him much room to roll completely and Levi found himself having to grasp at the sides to stay on the bench and avoid falling painfully on the ground and further aggravating his stitches.

With his two hands occupied, it became a choice. Either his knees or his phone was to take the impact of the ground beneath him. He chose to sacrifice his phone.

As Levi reached out to grab his phone from under the bench a few seconds later, he came across a small trinket on the floor. It was a ring was covered with purple cloth, the middle of the ring covered with some sort of web. The borders were lined with feathers, soft to his touch. Levi wondered whether the feathers were real or not.

Levi sat back on the bench and brought the keychain closer to his eyes. It turned out the ring was not covered in cloth. It was covered in threads so pressed closely to each other, from afar it had looked like one surface. He carefully traced the dark green strings that were interwoven so tightly around the purple cloth, no pattern was the same, no hole was of the same size or shape. It could have been homemade.

Who the hell left this here? Levi took a picture with his phone and sent it to the team chat.

Lost and Found.

Most had denied owning it. For a while Levi suspected that they could have been scared he would get mad. He knew he had a reputation when it came to cleaning and clutter. He was considering adding that he wasn’t angry eventually deciding against it. Would they believe him anyway?

One of the med students probs.

So it’s Hange’s?  It was an excuse to message her at least. Before Levi could even process what he did, he had searched Hange’s name on Facebook.

No account. He would have at least expected to find a profile with one or two mutual friends. They went to the same school after all. He checked the school supergroup to find that no one there was named Hange Zoe.

So she doesn’t have an account?

He looked through other groups built for their team. He looked for a medical students group, looking one by one at the profiles for a familiar face. One of the profiles had the face of the blond man who was behind Hange when they had found him that morning.

Levi had a habit of forgetting faces. The awkwardness and the embarrassment he had gone through had only made that memory more vivid in his mind. That vividness at least was the reason why he had found a lead to Hange.

Moblit Berner.

He clicked add friend and sent a picture of the keychain through chat.

Found this in the clubroom. Might be one of your friends?

It’s Hange’s.

Probably fell when her stuff got scattered on the floor.

Okay, will give it to you when you get here.

As Levi soon found out, the students were all out of campus and had no plans to visit training that afternoon at all. The main reason why they had showed up in the morning instead.

Levi scolded himself for not even bothering to learn their schedule. Maybe it could have alleviated his disappointment even a bit. Seeing no reason to be there in the clubroom anymore. Levi dropped a message in the chat, mentioning something about injuries and rest.

He wasn’t lying. His stitches were fresh. His palms hurt. More importantly. He was recovering from a painful bout of disappointment.

We’ll be there tomorrow morning though.

Ok see you there.

Levi had plans of making it up to his coach the next morning by being extra early anyway.

                              A Tale of Two Slaves

I wonder what types of titans we'll get to meet today...

It was a beautiful morning. Or possibly, it was just a relatively beautiful morning when compared to all the others where Levi had to lie in bed for an hour or so just to forget the pain and the shock of dreams he could not even remember to function.

That morning he had awoken with a burst of energy and a motivation that followed suit.

I wanna talk to Hange.

The only stopping him then was the awareness of how stupid and rash it would be to make friends just because he had such a vivid dream about them.

Section Leader Hange Zoe.

Special Squad Captain Levi .

They worked too closely in his dreams. She was constantly happy, constantly annoying. She was comfortable. She had made him feel excited, calm, annoyed, an incomprehensible and tumultuous storm of emotions. The dreams were too lifelike, realistic and vivid to have just been dreams.

Was she the reason for the painful mornings? Was she the reason Levi found himself so particularly confused around her? So abrasive? So conflicted?

Levi quickly changed into his clothes, grabbed his gym bag and rushed to the track. He did not bother to check his phone for the time anyway. The sun was rising and Moblit had said the night before. They’ll be there.

He used the walk to the track to process further the emotions that had been running through him since he remembered the dreams.

His name was Levi Ackerman. He was a soldier. They fought these giant zombie creatures. Hange managed another team but they were stationed close and that was how they had gotten close in the first place.

It felt like some sort of roleplay Levi could just easily put into words and post online. He wondered if that’s what it felt like to be a writer. Do stories come to writers and artists in dreams just like that? Levi had considered writing it all out, completely disowning that thought after he remembered he was shitty with words.

He probably would never channel those emotions into words or to art. Regardless, the determination to make sense of it was unwavering. Despite his awareness of the amount of stress he had caused her the past few days, the nagging self consciousness of having exposed that many facets of personality to someone, Levi was sure he wanted to talk to her. It was too strong. She must have felt it too. Maybe that’s why she was too friendly? Too touchy?

As Levi soon found out, she was touchy with a lot of other people. If Levi had checked his phone that morning, he would have seen that training was starting soon. With autumn coming, the nights were long and the sun was rising later.

Hange was there, by the side of the track, her arms around Elijah, one of his other teammates and fellow seniors. From where he stood, Levi could not tell if she was joking or not, but he could not help but note, he had never been the object of that playful smile she gave Moblit who stood next to her with a clipboard in hand.

“Hey Four Eyes.” Levi did not need to muster up any courage to approach her. The irritation he felt at seeing her arm around someone else, that playful smile directed at Moblit provoked him enough.

Hange’s face quickly fell as she made eye contact with him. Levi’s stomach followed suit, suddenly painfully aware of the shit he had put her through the past few days.

“Oh yeah, Levi found your dream catcher in the clubroom.”

The keychain! Levi had completely forgotten to bring it with him.

“Sorry about leaving it there. I shouldn’t have been too careless.” Hange’s smile was careful and rehearsed, a far cry from the one she gave Moblit only a while ago.

“I don’t have it with me now though since I had to rush here.” Levi was sure the excuse was understandable. A lot of his teammates were already warming up in the middle of track. “I could bring it later this afternoon?”

“Actually, we probably won’t be going back here for a while. We gotta prepare with classes starting soon and we got all the information we need anyway.” Moblit explained. “So we’re gonna invite some athletes out for an interview then work closely with them.”

“About the keychain...” Yes, the keychain. I need to meet Hange again and give it to her.

“You can give it to Elijah here.” Hange suggested. “Or maybe...Moblit? If you’re okay working with him.”

Why Moblit? My teammate, Elijah? “Wait why?” Levi’s mind was racing with questions. The shock and confusion had left him a little disconnected from his surroundings. He almost did not notice the way Hange had pulled him to the side of the track. Suddenly, it was just the two of them, on the corner, out of earshot from everyone else.

“This is probably the last time we’re gonna meet so I’ll be honest with you.” Hange took a deep breath. “I really wanted to work with you for my thesis but yeah I guess… with what happened the past few days I kinda realize maybe we just aren’t compatible and we might just end up driving each other crazy.” Hange added a small laugh to that cold and rehearsed smile she was giving him. It only added salt to the wounds she was already opening up with her speech.  “And I guess I should have noticed this before but you really don’t like me do you? I’m sorry if I couldn’t give the best first impression.”

No… I really like you. You gave a great first impression. Like always, even when Levi had wanted to say it, the words had gotten lost somewhere in its journey from mind to mouth.  

[spideeysense]

It started with a roll. A Royal!Bucky Barnes x Reader fic. (Part 3).

A/N: Hey all! Here is part three, I was having internet troubles this morning and was unable to post but here is part 3. I am not sure how I feel about this chapter, I usually write long stories. So once again feedback is appreciated! This will be a 5 or 6 part series. 

Please let me know if your name showed up on the taglist, and/or if you would like to be added to it!

Warnings: None, some sadness, mentions of poison. 

Part 2

You awoke the next morning, a little bit after dawn. Your eyes were itchy with sleep, but you pulled yourself out of bed anyways. You splashed your face with some water from the basin on the dry sink, and turned toward your wardrobe. You quickly pulled a whole semi-ok outfit together, complete with a drab petticoat your neighbor had gifted you a while ago, and pulled on a cloak. Swiftly you packed your things. Outside the bakery you waited. The world around you had started to awaken. The merchant across the street was opening, and multiple stalls were starting to be filled with what was to be sold today. Today, the streets were to be lively and filled with activities. Women getting their last minute adjustments at the tailors, and children enjoying their day off from school. Soon the streets would be filled with music and conversation.

You made sure the door to your bakery was locked, and quietly waited for Peter outside. You leaned against the wall, eyes cast to ground until a pair of shoes entered your sight. You raised you head and smiled, “Peter!” 

Peter smiled at you and took your arm, and you gladly took it, still, albeit awkwardly, holding the box in your hands.

“Excited for today?” Peter asked as he cocked his head to the side to look at you. You beamed up at him with the upmost happiness. Peter saw why the King had taken such an interest to you. “Yes!” You almost squealed. 

“How long has Astoria been here? Where is she from?” You asked, trying to sound nonchalant about it. 

Peter looked at you quizzically. “Hmm a couple weeks? I’d say. She’s from a neighboring kingdom, her father and Buck’s father had this planned since they were infants.”

You hummed at his response and stared at your shoes as you mulled over the information in your mind.

Soon, the pair of you arrived at the Palace, however instead of entering through the main entrance, you entered through the West Gate, which was closer to the kitchens. Peter opened the door and held it open for you. Inside you found a pair of girls bustling about the kitchen. 

Peter cleared his throat to get their attention. The two girls turned around quickly and bowed their heads.

“Bella and Marie” Peter introduced them to you. “They will be with you to help today,” He explained as he removed his cloak and hung it on his arm. You gave the two girls a small wave and they smiled at you. You took out your utensils and laid them out on the counter. Quickly, you scribbled down your recipe on two pieces of scrap paper and handed it to the girls. You explained how to correctly knead the dough, and make sure that they were in perfect shape. As you were looking for rosemary through the many cupboards. You pushed away many small bottles of spice, some you have never seen before, and some had clearly not been used in a long time. Something caught your eye. A bottle labeled belladonna. Strange. You thought. What was this doing here? But before you could examine it further, Bella pulled your attention away. 

“Looking for the rosemary? Here.” Bella tossed you the bottle and you grabbed it. You kept your finding to yourself and rearranged the spices, to make it look like no one had found it.

Soon, the kitchen was bustling with activity. People were coming in out, carrying several stacks of plates, or rolling a tray car filled with crystal champagne flutes. 

“How many people are coming tonight?” You asked as you pushed a tray of dough into the large clay oven. 

“400? 500? I think.” Marie said. She was up to her elbows in dough and flour. Bella had been kneading dough into shapes for what felt like hours, and could feel her hands numbing. 

You choked on your own spit. “That’s quite a lot of people,” You murmured. 

“It’s not too bad, besides, it fluctuates. Beforehand the two royal families eat dinner together, it’s a sort of tradition you know to congratulate the couple. I heard Astoria’s brother is superbly handsome.” Bella explained.

“The best part is the food. You see that’s the only dinner that happens, it’s very private. However there is a separate room at the ball that will be filled with all sorts of little snacks, like these rolls we’re making right now. It’s my favorite place to be stationed.” Marie giggled at herself and her and Bella started bantering back and forth. 

Around you chefs worked at the ovens, maids bustled about with cream colored table cloths, and handymen went back and forth through the kitchen carrying chairs with plush red cushions. However not once had Bucky come into, either to say hi or see how the preparations were going. You scolded yourself. It was foolish to think that a King would come down to specifically see you. Let alone think about you, on h

Soon, Bella and Marie had finished their duties with you and you had let them go, and they both left as quickly as they could, obviously, they had not enjoyed making bread all day. With dainty hands you placed all the rolls in a large crate, and packed them away with cloth. You gave them to a servant who worked in the kitchen. Peter appeared at the entrance of the kitchen and beckoned you to come towards him.

 “All done?” He asked and you nodded. “Alright, you’re good to go. I’ll have a carriage come for you at around 8:00 o’clock,” Peter explained and clapped a hand on your shoulder. “Maybe we’ll run into each other tonight, you never know at a masquerade.” Peter winked at you.

You gathered your things and left the palace. You took extra time when you passed by the garden admiring the flowers. A gardener passed by you carrying a large bouquet of hyacinths and you stared at them in awe. As you continued on your way out you heard someone call your name.

“Y/N!” It was Bucky and he gave you a small wave.

You waved back and continued on your way. Ignoring the eyes of the servants.. Maybe he was thinking of you after all. 

Back at your bakery, you only had a few hours until 8 o’clock. Your employees had worked all day and you made a mental note to increase their pay for that day. 

You closed your bakery early and told your employees to go home and enjoy the festivities. 

You quickly locked up the front door and made sure everything was put away before heading upstairs to get ready. Eagerly you pulled out the box that held your dress and mask. You carefully slid into the dress, careful not to tear the lace or the tulle. It took several tries to get it nice and secure around your body. You stared at yourself in your mirror. You twirled a little bit and smiled at how the hem of the dress lifted off the ground and spiral around you. 

Your fingers traced the intricate designs on the bodice, and the small crystals that were encrusted on the off the shoulder neckline. 

The clock on the wall chimed and you realized how late it was. The carriage would be here in an hour, you had to hustle. You did your hair as intricately as you could, and accompanied your outfit with some simple jewelry you had. You slipped on the mask that Bucky had gifted you and once again admired your reflection. No one would be able to tell you weren’t a noble, thanks to Bucky. 

Carefully you walked down the stairs, careful not to trip on the gown. You exited through the back door, and made sure you locked it. Outside you found a simple black carriage, with two horses in the front. 

“Lady Y/N?” The coachman asked. 

You blushed at the title, thankful that the mask covered your blush. You reminded yourself to scold whoever gave you that title. Most likely Barnes. 

The coachman got down from his seat and help you into the carriage. Once inside you chuckled at how you were sitting. Your dress created almost a large cushion around you. 

The carriage moved forward with a jolt and off you were. 

Soon you arrived at the Palace. A large crowd was pushing their way inside. Once again the coachman helped you out of the carriage. Awkwardly, you stood at the edge of the entrance. Unsure of what to do. This was your first royal ball, ever, and you were doing it alone.

Taking a big breath of air, you followed the crowd inside. The beauty of the palace amazed you again. However at night, it seemed more beautiful. The chandeliers glistened like stars, and the paintings seemed to be awake. 

You followed the herd of people to what you could only assume was the ballroom. Inside, people were dressed in large intricate masks which matched their costumes. You did see the odd person that was wearing a more simple one or none at all but where was the fun in that. People were laughing, conversing, and in the center dancing. You took your time to explore, studying people, wondering which one was Peter, or Steve, or even Bucky. 

You did find the hall where the food was being served, and people were streaming in and out. You took this chance to snack a little and grabbed a champagne flute filled with golden bubbly liquid. You recognized the flute as you had seen the same type in the kitchen earlier. 

After snacking you headed back into the main hall. The music was loud and more and more people were crowding towards the dance floor. 

A tap on your shoulder caught your attention and you turned around. A man was standing behind you. He was wearing a dark coat, and his mask was as intricate and detailed as the others. You could see his eyes through the mask's sockets, and recognized them immediately. It was Bucky. Behind your mask, you beamed.  He offered his gloved hand and you took it happily. 

“May I have this dance?” You heard him say. Cautiously you looked around you, worried Astoria would somehow catch you even though she wouldn’t be able to tell it was you. After assessing the fact there was no threat you  nodded your head. 

Swiftly and gently, Bucky pulled you onto the dance floor. You tried to match his confidence as you had very little in your own dancing skills. He placed one hand on his waist and the other held your hand. 

The music started soft and slow. The couples around you danced and twirled. As the song started to pick up, his grip on your waist tightened. 

You followed as best as you could, careful not to step on his toes. And when he twirled you, you were cautious of the other couples around you.

Bucky was over the moon right now. Dancing with you was simply a dream come true. He had recognized you by your dress and mask as soon as you walked in. His heart fluttered at the sight, and he felt his cheeks heat up. He let you explore around a bit, he did not want to bombarde you right away. It had taken so much self control to not pick you up and dance till his feet were numb. 

You found yourself staring into his eyes as the dancing continued, completely unaware of the world around. 

He leaned down ever so slightly to whisper in your ear. “You look stunning tonight.” The words sent a chill down your spine, and you were thankful he could not see the red that kissed your cheeks right now.

The dance slowed to an end and Bucky and you were the last couple to pull apart. He dragged you off the dance floor, and out of the ball room. 

Bucky let out a stifled breath and laughed. “I was worried I was gonna trip you for that whole song. I swear, it’s like I have two left feet.” He joked and you laughed. 

“Well I believed it was very graceful” You said, and when he offered his arm, you took it. 

“Do you want to take a walk out in the garden?” Bucky asked nervously. 

You smiled, aware that he couldn’t see it, and nodded. “Let me make a quick trip to the powder room.” You murmured and pulled away from him. 

“Oh it’s right down there,” He mentioned and you followed his gaze. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

You opened the door quietly and found yourself surrounded by the overpowering smell of roses. You stood in front of a mirror and adjusted your dress. 

“Have you seen him?” Your ears picked up on a conversation that was happening away from you. 

“No,” the other voice said. “He’s going to be your husband Asty, and you’re telling me you haven’t seen him all night?” The voice scolded. Your heart rate picked up and you were quick to pretend that you were very focused on your appearance. Astoria, and who maybe was her sister, or mother, were having a very heated discussion. 

“I told you, it’s a masquerade, the whole point is that it’s a night filled with secrecy.” Astoria hissed. “So this night is an excuse for him to see other women?” The voice continued. A jab of guilt stabbed at your heart. 

“Don’t worry, everything will fall into place once we’re married.” Astoria retorted back. 

“It better be, if you don’t get him subdued, then this whole marriage was pointless.” 

“Mother!” Astoria hissed as she motioned towards the figure that was standing in front of the mirror. Before either of them could question who you were, you left the room. You were very grateful for the mask that covered your face. 

You found Bucky waiting patiently outside and quickly ushered him away from the room. “Let’s go shall we?” You asked.

Bucky and you admired the garden as you walked through it. Small paper lanterns were lining the trail, and it illuminated everything in a soft glow. You let Bucky pull you along, enjoying the comforting silence that sat between you. 

He led you through a small hedge maze, and in the center you found an overgrown marble structure. Bucky led you inside and beckoned you to take a seat. He pulled off his mask, as did you, and placed it on the ground.

“Is this the part where you murder me?” You quipped, relishing in the fact that you could breathe more clearly now. 

“No,” He laughed heartily at your joke. “This is the part where I tell you that you look beautiful.” He said cheesily with a smirk. 

“You sap!” You punched his chest lightly, and he placed a hand on his heart acting if he was hurt which made you laugh harder. 

For a second you were caught staring at each other, and in realisation you looked away. 

You would be lying if you said you didn’t want to kiss him right then and there. You stared at the night sky, the gears in your head turning. Bucky placed a soft chest on your arm. “What are you thinking about doll?” He asked. Your stomach felt like a thousand butterflies were trying to push their way out. 

“You and I.” You mumbled. 

“Why is that?” He asked. 

You shrugged and shook your head. “No reason.” You lied. 

Bucky inched closer. “You can tell me.” He hummed as his hand found your jaw. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” You said softly, your eyes casting to the ground. You realised you mistake and instantly regretted it. Bucky’s hand immediately dropped from your jaw. His reaction just made you believe in Astoria’s words further. 

“I’m sorry, my god that was uncalled for.” You quickly stood up, the alcohol rushing to your head and you leaned against a pillar for support. You held your skirt in both hands and rushed out of the gazebo.

“No, it’s fine.” Bucky whispered, he was quick to follow after you. 

“It’s fine?” You turned around and almost hissed. “It’s fine that you're getting engaged and yet you make nightly visits to have a conversation with me. It’s fine that you get me a pretty dress, and spend a night dancing and laughing with me. Really Bucky?” 

“Whoa where did this come from?” He held up both his hands in front of him. 

You rolled your eyes, careful to not let out all your emotions. 

“You’re getting married Bucky. After that, whatever we’re doing simply, cannot continue. I am not something you can simply use for the time being.” 

“Doll, come’on seriously.” He sighed, his hands finding his coat pockets. 

“Did you really believe that we would be allowed to continue this way after your wedding.” 

Bucky had no clue where this was coming from. Really he didn’t. As soon as you confessed, he was so ready to say he felt the same, and was ready to risk it all for you. But he was simply too slow. Maybe he was really that dumb. “Forget about it Buck,” You mumbled, turning around and walking away. Away from the gazebo. Away from him. 

taglist:

@unlistedpond​ @thefallenbibliophilequote​ @sebastianstansqueen​

[lemongams-blog]

Curves parallels

Face of the past

It got dark outside, a warm wind was blowing, which swayed the crowns of trees. At this very moment, the merry fellow and the girl were drinking tea in the kitchen, eating it with fresh cookies and pastries. There was a lively conversation between them, until Splendor asked:

- And yet, how did you become like this? You said you weren't a demon. Who are you? - Asked splendor and looked with great interest at the girl, who was a little embarrassed and nervous.

- Well, um, I don’t know. I can only tell you everything I remember. Recently, I began to forget the past, and the fact that I constantly have nightmares. - the girl thought it over, and decided to tell the monster her origin.

***

1994 year. The girl collects her bag, puts ballet shoes and a ballet tutu there. After finishing preparations, Gladess leaves the house and goes to the ballet school. She has been going there for several years now, and it has not gone unnoticed.

- Hey, walk you home? - Asked a friend of Glades, who often went to visit her, they also went to the solfeggio class together.

- No, sorry. But today they brought me the violin, so I’ll change my clothes and go to it, and there’s no point in waiting, then I’ll go home right away, ”the girl said, looking at the floor, her eyes were upset because her mother said that she wouldn’t pick her up because she was detained at work.

- She's putting on a production again? Yes? Sarah said enthusiastically.

-Yes, it will be a new production of Swan Lake. - finished changing clothes said Gladess.

Having said goodbye, the girls dispersed. In the violin lesson, the girl did not hit the notes a lot, she was very mischievous, today she was not in the mood.

After finishing her lesson, the girl got ready and left the art school, she decided to go through a small park, which was located between the houses. This small park was her favorite place to walk. In the fall, the park filled with red, yellow and ocher paths. There were two exits from the park: one led to the exit from the park, and the second led to the forest zone and the lake. Gladess calmly walked through the park, she was approached by her teacher who taught chemistry, biology and physics at her school. Since she lived in a small town, there was a serious shortage of teachers here.

- Hello, why are you walking so late? Where are you going? the teacher asked with a sweet smile.

“Hello, I'm going home, I just had violin lessons,” said the girl enthusiastically. This was her favorite teacher.

- And then .. I remember everything in spots, I can not remember anything - said the girl holding her head - Although, I think I can tell you what I remember exactly. This I will remember for a long time - In the eyes of Gladess it grew dim even more.

- I was in the research center, or something like that, well so - Gladess continued the story.

- Chamber 473, experiment 4.13.1.5.6.19.19 must be disentegrated, due to the lack of any abilities (other than changing the appearance) - the head of the department for genetic experiments on humans said loudly.

~ Gladess spent approximately 5 years at this center. Every day she lived according to a special schedule worked out by the professors. Physical and mental stress was essential for the creation of weapons. But free time could be devoted to your hobby. ~

The girl had been developing an escape plan for a long time and the fact that they were going to kill her anyway only encouraged the girl to escape.

And so, one day she was able to escape. She ran with all her might, fighting fatigue. But she barely had time to go outside, as she fell into a cunning trap. Thin needles pierced her body. The trap was in a suit. The needles were to pop out and pierce at intervals of five minutes. The girl continued to run with all her might, trying to ignore the pain and heavy bleeding. She tried to find a house or other accommodation, but it was all in vain. After a short amount of time, the girl began to understand that she would soon turn off. In the last seconds, the girl's gaze managed to catch a tall figure.

- Well, that's how it happened, and then Mr. Offender saved me - said the girl putting her hand under her head.

- You have such a strange story, well, nothing. Fortunately, you now have a new home - the monster said with a smile.

At this time, after unrestrained and passionate sex, Offender entered the kitchen to take something to drink. After hearing the conversation between the monster and the girl, he decided to intervene.

- Hey, fags, what are we discussing? - Offender asked with a sneer as he entered the room.

- Gladess told me about her origins, do you know any secret bases or laboratories in the area? Splendor asked.

- What? Well, there was a maximum chemical plant here. And I don’t care why she looks like that, maybe she’s just a succubus who decided to seduce everyone here, ”the man said, grabbing the girl by the shoulders and bent over her face.

“I’m not against being tempted,” Offender said with a malicious smile.

- No! What are you? I'm not that - the girl answered embarrassed.

- Well, who knows, there are devils in a still pool - the man said, pulling back and going to the refrigerator, took a bottle of wine, and then went to continue the "fun".

- Hey, girls, I brought some more - Offender screamed from the second floor.

- Okay, I'll go to my room, otherwise I'm already falling asleep - said the girl and getting up from the table went to her room.

-Good night - said Splendor

-Good night - answered the girl.

[enchanted-flowers]

Fur Real

Commission for Anonymous

Pairing: UT Sans x Reader

Word count: 1600

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff

Warning: None

Summary: One shot. Make a zoo pun, and he’ll be able to find his brother. Sans has been training for this his whole life. 

[Commission info]

[Keep me warm?]

Yep. It’s official. He’s lost. Sans wanders around the aquatic exhibit, passing by the brilliant tanks of deep blue and floating white, his bones shivering even beneath his jacket. A large killer whale swims right past him, ignoring the skeleton for the falling fish. Crowds of happy families all bump into him, chattering away about the next animal they want to see, then complaining about the massive amount of people visiting the zoo on this day. Some children bang on the glass to get the animals’ attention, then pout when all of them were ignored. Between the bustling activity and his brother’s excitement, Undyne dragged Papyrus away, their long legs carrying them far from Sans, who already had trouble keeping up. It’s been an hour and he still haven’t found them, the reception in the park completely nonexistent, rendering it useless. Who knew it would be this difficult to find two loud seven foot monsters.

Sighing, Sans deems the aquatic exhibit useless and leaves, then deciding to go check out the feline animals next. Surprisingly, there are less people in this area, which gives Sans a sigh of relief. He doesn’t mind crowds, but when they were pushing against his smaller body, it could get a little annoying. He walks past the lion habitat, the majestic felines staring at him curiously as he admires their grace.

“Come on guys! Are you ready for the mane event?!” he hears a voice within the habitat giggle.

Sans whips around at the pun and notices a zookeeper, carrying a bucket of dead meat in a pail, and tossing it at the lions. The lions leap in the air and catches the food in their mouths, several fighting over one piece, but you just toss them another one. Sans leans over the safety rail and waves to you.

“heh, that was a pretty pawsome trick,”

You quickly turn around, and see him smiling lazily and waving. Putting your hands on your hips, you roll your eyes.  “Like I haven’t heard that one before,”

Sans raises a bone brow, “oh? i’d be lion if i said that didn’t hurt,”

“Fur real? That’s the best you got?” you chuckle and shake your head.

Sans thinks for a moment, “i can’t think of anything else. it’s hurting my pride,”

You throw your head back and laugh, one of the lions perks it head up and stares at you. You just toss it another piece of meat.

“It’s rare that I meet another pun master like myself.” you smirk, “I’ll tell you what, tell me a zoo joke that I haven’t heard before, and I’ll let you into any exhibit you want,”

“really?” Sans raises his bonebrow, “wouldn’t you get in trouble?”

“Hey, if anything, I’ll just say that you’re the next meal,” you laugh and swipe away a bead of sweat.

Sans’s grin grows wider, and he tilts his head, thinking for a minute. He looks around him. searching for any source of inspiration. He already used a lion pun, so it’s pointless to try that again. The signs directing towards the restroom proves to be no help. The elephant habitat catches his eye, and an idea strikes. Sans mentally laughs at his joke own inside his head, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“what’s gray, has four legs, and owns a trunk?”

You raise your eyebrow and glace over at the elephants, “An elephant.”

“nah. a mouse going on vacation”

You try to stifle your laughter, but instead you throw your head back and burst out laughing, even tears threatening to spill. The lions look at you in confusion, then goes back to licking their paws. Finally, you calm down, and cross your arms with a smirk. It wasn’t even that funny to you, but the way he said it with such confidence, you couldn’t help but grin.

“Alright. I gotta hand it to you, that wasn’t bad,”

“wasn’t bad? kid, i have a bone to pick with you,” Sans mocks offense.

“Save it for the hyenas,” you say, “A deal is a deal. Wait right there and I’ll come to you,”

He waits as you exit the lion habitat and watch a peculiar cub prancing around his parents and pouncing on a butterfly, only to release it, then try again. Somehow, that reminds him how Papyrus use to be when he was younger, except his brother could never try to harm it.  You approach him a few minutes later, holding out your hand with a smile and introduce yourself. You poor naive soul. Stealthily sliding the whoopee cushion in the palm of his hand, the accepts your greeting, the blast of air escaping the rubber balloon. You blink in surprise, then tighten your grip in fury, before pushing him away so you can hold back your laughter.

“That’s so mature,”

“come on, you liked it. i can tell,” Sans winks.

You let out a tiny giggle, “Alright bonehead, whatever. Where do you want to go?”

“koalas,” Sans decides without hesitation, “they look cool. besides, my bro doesn’t think that they exist so maybe i’ll run into him there or at least get a picture to show him,”

You blink in confusion at the strange statement, but you just shrug it off and motion him to follow you. You lead them through the zoo, passing by a butterfly cage and a birds habitat. Sweat drips down Sans's neck from the sweltering heat, and he wonders how you aren't burning up in this weather, especially since you have skin. It never even seemed to faze you. Finally on the edge of the park, you take Sans through the employee entrance, and unlocke the koala cage. His eye lights light up as you grab a nearby animal, his arms wrapping around yours and nuzzling his head against your shoulders.  

"Sans, meet Harold. Harold, this is Sans," you rub the fluff on top of his head.

The koala doesn't pay much attention to the skeleton, but rather, sniffed your hair and chews on it. You make a face of disgust, but Sans only laughs.

"heh, that seems like a pretty hairy situation you got going on there,"

"Har har," you roll your eyes, but smile anyway, "Here, do you want to hold him?"

The skeleton shrugs, and opens up his arms. The animal instinctively reaches for him, latching onto his jacket and wrapping his short arms around Sans's neck. He hesitantly hugs it back with your encouragement, and strokes his back. His gray fur is rougher than he thought, thin and brittle, but somehow still firm. The kolola doesn't do much except hold him, probably already falling asleep.

"this is...kinda cool,"

"Right? Harold is one of the least active ones we have on site.  He's better with visitors and newcomers because he's so calm. Be careful though, Harold's urine can give you chlamydia."

Sans laughs and waits for you to say that you're joking. But you don't. Oh well, he's a skeleton, he can't get chlamydia.  

Uncomfortable with holding Harold for too long, Sans hands the sleeping koloa back to you, and you carry him back to his favorite tree, giving him a treat for being so friendly today. Sans watches you interact with the animal, amazed by your patience and care for such a small creature. It's not like he's never seen these traits in a human before, but you make him appreciate it. Heh, he guesses he has a thing for animals.

"you're really good at your job," Sans comments.

You beam at him, clearly proud of the compliment, as you should be.

"Thank you. People think that zookeeping is just about feeding the animals and cleaning up their poop, but it's so much more than that. These animals deserve love and care, and I'm so lucky to be the one providing that. Besides, it's pretty cool to see people running away from a ferocious leopard, when I can just go up to  it and scratch it's chin,"

"i thought about become a zoo keeper myself," Sans's grin widens, "but i just don't have the koloafications,"

"It's not that hard actually, you just-" your eyes widen, and burst out laughing, "GOSH DARN IT!"

Sans chuckles with you, startling poor Harold out of his sleep. Suddenly a familiar, nasally voice booms outside.

"SANS! IS THAT YOU???!!!" Papyrus waves from beyond the gate.

Sans waves back, "sup, bro,"

"NO WAY!" Undyne charges in front of Papyrus, pushing him out of her way with her strength, "THAT'S NOT FAIR! HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE?!"

Sans points at you, "i wore them down with koality puns til they let me in,"

Your smile strains your face, and at this point, you're wiping tears out of your eyes, stuttering out whatever you can, "Y-Yeah, he w-was just unbearable!!!"

Both Undyne and Papyrus screams, scaring the other visitors, as they both stomp towards the exit. Welp, that looks like his cue to leave. He doesn't want to be wandering the park looking for them again. He thanks you for the tour and promises to come back another time. Hopefully you're there to give him another private access. You stop him before he can take another step.

"Wait," you pause and blush,"Give me your phone,"

Sans obeys and you punch in your phone number.

"If you ever want to...hang out again, then give me a call."

Sans winks and promises to do so, waving goodbye as he exits the habitat, already looking forward to the next trip.

==

[Commission info]

[Keep me warm?]

[sun-summoning]

prompt: death

sougo wakes up first, his head throbbing and the rest of his body aching as well. he opens his eyes slowly, careful to continue feigning unconsciousness, and when he’s certain that no one is there watching and waiting for him to wake, he takes a careful look around. he tries to move, but his hands are cuffed together and around his neck is a collar attached to a chain. 

he’s been in situations like this before, but always on his own volition. he swallows, following the length of metal and finding china girl bound on the other end.

sougo leans against the wall and wonders what he could have possibly done to deserve this. 

the rattling is enough to wake her up from her slumber. he watches as kagura blinks slowly, raising her cuffed hands to stretch. she struggles for only a few seconds before she rips the bindings in half with ease and her arms form a v over her head. she yawns widely and brings her hands back down to rub her eyes.

“sadaharu, don’t make so much noise,” she whines. “a lady needs her beauty sleep, yes?”

sougo rolls his eyes. “i’m not your dog, idiot.”

he should feel a bit of pride knowing how much his voice seems to affect her, because the moment the words slip out of his mouth, kagura tenses, her hands dropping away from her face as she turns and gawks in his direction.

“chihuahua?” 

“it’s sougo.”

“huh?” she seems to finally wake up. kagura looks at the broken bindings around her wrists and notices the collar around her neck. she tugs at it curiously but doesn’t actually break it. “what the hell? did you do this?”

“of course not. my collars would be better quality.”

“well why am i here? and where is here?!”

“this is a death trap,” sougo tells her calmly enough. “generally the idea is that one of us needs to kill the other in order to escape--” 

in retrospect, that probably wasn’t the best way to begin his explanation, considering her first instinct is, naturally, to leap across the room and try to mir him. her hands are wrapped around his neck, her little fingers sliding under the collar to cut off his breathing. she yells curses at him while keeping his arms pinned down with her legs. 

“you stupid sadist!” she screams. “who did you piss off, huh? and why am i part of this? i have done nothing wrong ever in my life, yes!”

“will you--” sougo manages a few breaths before she wraps her hands tighter and slams his head back into the ground. “let me--dammit china!” using all the strength in his body he has considering his complete lack of oxygen, sougo sits up hastily and knocks the annoying brat over. before she can reach him again, he raises his arms in front of him, resulting in her ramming her face into his fists. she whines, but he rolls his eyes. “that was entirely your fault.”

“you punched me!”

“i did not. your ugly face hit my hands.”

as kagura yells at him, sougo writes a mental list of all the people who maybe, just maybe, would love to watch him be killed by this monster girl so she could escape. or perhaps watch the mental battle he’d go through before ever considering truly hurting her. which, to be honest, probably wouldn’t be that big of a battle. right? right.

in that moment okita sougo knows one thing: he would rather die a slow and gruesome death than admit to kagura that this is probably his fault.

he doesn’t have to say anything though, because the requisite television used by their captor to pass along their message turns on. they both turn and watch as the static fades away.

“greetings.” their captor dons a mask and a wig and use a voice changer, making it hard for sougo to narrow down his list of suspects (who are, technically, also victims). “i’m sure you’re wondering why you’ve been brought here--”

“not really,” sougo mutters dryly. 

kagura, on the other hand, stomps over to the television as if that might bring her closer to whoever is behind this. “of course i am! why am i stuck with this idiot? i’m tired! i’m hungry! i’m--”

“you’re too loud!” their captor yells. “get away from the microphone, you idiot!”

“i’m the idiot? you’re the idiot, yes? you think i’m not going to find you and eat all your food?!”

“that’s...that’s a very weird threat.”

“and then,” kagura continues, screaming into the microphone that seems to be at the base of the screen, “i’m going to find everyone you love and eat their food too! do you hear me?!”

“you’d make a terrible villain, china.”

she looks back at him and sneers. “you make a terrible person!”

he rolls his eyes. “try something better. something that would make your victim regret even looking at you. something like...” 

sougo walks up to where she’s standing, but the length of chain they’re both bound to is wrapped around a large pole. when it goes taut, every step forward for him means a step backwards for her. her brows furrow in annoyance when she notices this and with a war cry, she kicks the pole, effectively knocking it down. quite likely affecting the building’s structural integrity, sure, but still knocking it down. now able to be in front of the microphone with kagura, sougo leans in and makes his own threats. 

“i don’t know who you are,” he begins slowly, “i don’t know what you want. if you are looking for ransom, i can tell you i don’t have any money. but what i do have is a very particular set of skills. skills i have acquired over a very long career. skills that make me a nightmare for people like you--”

“oi, what are you even doing?” kagura yells, interrupting him. “you can’t just use the speech from taken. it doesn’t even apply here! you are the one who’s been taken!”

sougo’s eye twitches. “don’t interrupt me!”

“don’t interrupt me!” 

after a moment, sougo remembers just why he’s here with china. they both calm down and turn back to the screen. their captor seems frazzled behind his mask, most likely annoyed with having been cut off in the middle of his villainous introduction. 

“now, as i was saying earlier, you--”

“wait, wait,” sougo says, waving a hand. “can you start from the beginning?”

“what?”

beside him, china nods. “i didn’t actually listen at first. start over, yes?”

“all i said was hello.”

sougo cocks his head. “are you sure? i don’t remember that. i’m pretty sure i ignored more.”

“of course you don’t remember that! because you actual five-year-olds don’t ever shut up!”

“you said ‘greetings’, yes?” kagura recalls. “and then said we were probably wondering why we’ve been brought here.”

“yes, i did--wait. you said you weren’t listening. why am i starting over if you actually were listening?!”

“well--”

“just shut up and let me finish!” 

kagura frowns. “it’s very rude to interrupt a lady when she’s speaking, yes?”

sougo snorts. “you’re hardly a lady.”

“why you--”

“i said shut up!” they watch as their captor fights off an aneurysm and high blood pressure and briefly wonder if he’ll drop dead before issuing them their threat. after a few deep breaths, their captor finally manages to speak. “in order to make it out of here, you’ll need to fill up this jar.” on cue, a light turns at the end of the room revealing a glass container. 

“great,” sougo says. “i’ve been looking for a bathroom.”

“no!” their captor screams. “i’m not finished.” he clears his throat. “in order to escape, you’ll need to fill this jar with...blood.”

kagura just cackles. “oi, sadist, get over here so i can gut you.”

“you don’t even have a knife.”

she grins and looks positively feral. “then i’ll tear you open with my bare hands, yes.”

he rolls his eyes. “i already said i can fill the jar with something else, didn’t i?”

the two of them ignore their captor’s screams for them to listen, walking over to where the jar is and considering the scale beneath it. after a moment of contemplation, kagura tugs on their chain keeping them together and looks back at the pole that would have kept them bound to this room had she not already kicked it over.

“wait.” she scratches her head and then shoves a pinky in her ear. “but like...can’t we just leave now anyway?”

“huh.” sougo nods. “yeah, you’re right.”

kagura grins, bringing her hands up to her neck and ripping her collar off with ease. after punching a hole in the wall and effectively creating an exit, she grabs the length of chain and tugs him along. 

“come now, sadaharu 29! and don’t go eating anything on the ground again, yes? you might get an itchy crotch!”

“tch.” sougo tries pulling off his own collar but struggles considering his lack of monstrous strength. “i’m not your dog,” he mutters, following behind her nevertheless. 

“wait! where are you going?” 

they glance back at the screen only briefly to say goodbye, leaving their captor to call their names into an empty room. 

[tuyet-mai]

A breakdown of Ed Sheeran’s “New Man” and why it’s problematic:

[TL;DR at the bottom of the post.]

     So yesterday, as I was on Spotify instead of doing work, I realized I hadn’t listened to the new Ed Sheeran album Divide in it’s entirety yet. Turns out, it’s pretty awesome (and if you haven’t listened to it yet, you should go do that)! Unfortunately though, it does have its problematic moments -- the track New Man being the primary representative. 

Before we go into detail though, let’s give the characters of the song names so that they’re simple to discern from each other:

Let ex-boyfriend be X, girl be G, and New Man be N. 

Also, excuse my ADHD. My meds wore off towards the end.

Ok! Now on to the fun bit!

So why is this song problematic, anyways?

I have a couple of different perspectives on this point that we’ll detail momentarily, but to be concise:

X is obsessed with the relationship between G and N, using a mix of manipulation tactics and fallacies to try and convince G to leave him. 

X incessantly shames N for basically existing; he also shames G for choosing to do things/be around people X disapproves of.

X enforcing gender stereotypes. 

G asking X for sex. Also, G cheating on N. 

N wears closed shoes without socks. 

Pop culture influences real life, and overall, these are not healthy behaviors. 

Give me a moment to mentally choke a bitch out compose myself.

Just...

What the actual fuck? 

   Now,  I’m sure there are multiple people reading this post and thinking “silly OP, X is justified because N is a piece of shit,” but here’s the thing: 

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT X IS TRYING TO GET YOU TO BELIEVE. 

     And by “you,” I mean G, ‘cause New Man is basically a request for G to take X back rather than offering sympathy to G or caring about her as a whole individual. 

[explosion noises]

Let’s take it verse by verse to identify how X does this.

Verse 1: 

I heard he spent five hundred pounds on jeans Goes to the gym at least six times a week Wears boat shoes with no socks on his feet And I hear he's on a new diet and watches what he eats He's got his eyebrows plucked and his arsehole bleached Owns every single Ministry CD Tribal tattoos and he don't know what it means But I heard he makes you happy, so that's fine by me But still, I'm just keepin' it real Still lookin' at your Instagram and I'll be creepin' a lil' I'll be tryin' not to double tap, from way back 'Cause I know that's where the trouble's at Let me remind you of the days when You used to hold my hand And when we sipped champagne out of cider cans I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn't Superman Just a young boy tryin' to be loved So let me give it to ya 

Did you catch it? Here’s verse one rewritten:

“I don’t like N because [insert stereotype about masculinity] and he’s different compared to me”

“But if that’s what makes you happy, it’s ‘ fine,’ [insert eye roll]”

“But actually, it’s not fine, because I miss you (I’m stalking you) and I’m better because we did fun shit even though I was poor and I’m not [masculinity stereotype]”

“Poor me, I deserve love; let me love you”

Essentially, X is saying that because N plucks his eyebrows, has money to spend on something he wants (even if it’s a dumb purchase), and behaves a certain way, it makes him a dumb jock/fuccboi/undesirable/have certain other traits. Therefore, X is desirable (a nice guy), and G should take him back. 

Because obviously, as a man, if you keep up with your appearance, like one specific band(s), have an aesthetic/meaningless tattoo, and try to take care of your body, you’re a shitty person (sarcasm). To this last point though, I would like to note that if the tattoo has a cultural implication that N is not part of, it’s a dick move to have gotten it. We’re going off X’s assumptions though, so... 

Also, closed shoes without socks is unacceptable regardless of who you are; shape up, N.

CHORUS

I don't wanna know about your new man 'Cause if it was meant to be You wouldn't be callin' me up tryin' to 'Cause I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me I don't wanna know about your new man We'll get there eventually I know you're missin' all this kind of love But I'm positive that he don't wanna know about me

Rewritten:

“I don’t want to know about your new man because you’re calling me up for sex (so obviously I’m better and he doesn’t matter).”

“I also KNOW that you’re missing this kind of love (so please come back) and we’ll eventually be able to laugh at him together.”

“Also, he doesn’t wanna know about me (because he’s too big of a dickbag to care obviously).”

Thoughts on the chorus:

On G’s part: dick move. Nobody should call up someone who’s trying to get over them. It just plays with their emotions and gives them false hope (or in this case, it makes X go batshit crazy)

On X’s part: he needs to get over himself. He doesn’t seem care about G or her situation other than wanting her back. He also can’t KNOW what G is feeling or missing unless she’s specifically told him.  

Verse 2

Your new man rents a house in the 'burb And wears a man bag on his shoulder, but I call it a purse Every year, he goes to Málaga with all the fellas Drinks beer, but has a six pack, I'm kinda jealous He wears sunglasses indoors, in winter, at nighttime And every time a rap song comes on, he makes a gang sign Says "Chune, bwoydem light up the room!" But enough about him, girl, let's talk about you You were the type of girl who sat beside the water readin' Eatin' a packet of crisps, but you will never find you cheatin' Now you're eatin' kale, hittin' the gym Keepin' up with Kylie and Kim In the back of the club, kissin' a boy that ain't him Okay, you need to be alone And if you wanna talk about it, you can call my phone I just thought I would tell you, 'cause you oughta know You're still a young girl tryin' to be loved So let me give it to ya

Rewritten:

[Implied stereotype about people who live in the suburbs]

[Implied jab at masculinity]

“I’m uncomfortable with myself and jealous that he can keep that figure”

[Stereotype]

[Stereotype about “type” of femininity]

[Cheat-shaming, even though he has no idea what G&N’s relationship is about]

“Even though you behave this way you’re still this [type of] girl somewhere inside.”

“Poor, silly, you. Let me love you because I’m not [stereotype] therefore my love is better.”

A few points with this verse:

This reminds me so much of the people who say the: “I’m not racist, but...” bullshit. X is passive-aggressively shaming N and G through the entire song by implying “N isn’t a fuccboi but... N is a fuccboi -- and if you like fuccbois (G), then I guess that’s what you like (but I’m judging you for it because (stereotype))”

I’m not one to advocate cheating if that’s the case, but neither I nor X have ANY IDEA what G and N have agreed to in their relationship. Maybe G found out she’s polyamorous. Maybe N is polyamorous. Maybe they’re fine with having multiple partners. We don’t know, and neither does X! G shouldn’t be shamed. 

Again, what is with this guy and shaming people for taking care of themselves? G is doing well for her body! Also, maybe she realized she liked that show (ironically, or unironically: it doesn’t matter).

STOP WITH THE GENDER JABS, CHRIST ON A STICK! That is not okay! N is in no way required to conform to society’s or X’s expectations of masculinity/style/etc.

Another thing: People change! Even if G’s behavior/aesthetic/style/gender identity was a certain way with X, that doesn’t mean she’s locked into those things for the rest of her life! Nor does it express her as a full individual! Crazy concept: you can be chill/humble, take care of yourself, and eat crisps every now and then!  

X does get points for the ‘gang signs for every rap song’ line though; that’s unnecessary and ignorant. 

Bridge

Baby, I'm not tryin' to ruin your week But you act so differently When you're with him, I know you're lonely Please remember you're still free To make the choice and leave Don't call me up, you need to show me

Rewritten:

“Baby I’m not trying to ruin your week but...”

[goes on to do/say some dumb shit]

“You act so different, therefore you must be lonely!”

“So please come back to me, but DON’T call me! I demand you show me (see: make it up to me cause I’m too good for that)”

Thoughts:

Again... one aspect of a person in one instant is not representative of the entire individual. X is not owed anything from G. 

Summary & Societal Implications

X is fucking insane and doesn’t care about G as a whole person. He loves the idea of who she was before. 

X continually shames N and G to manipulate G into coming back to him. 

There’s a lot of details being assumed. 

     Also, if you haven’t sorted this out by now: this is a terrible portrayal of romance for people to relate to/internalize. It normalizes creepy/arrogant/ manipulative behavior as well as gender stereotypes. None of those things are healthy within or after a relationship. 

     If X loves G, he should be her friend and comfort her/help her situation instead of acting all high and mighty/implying something along the lines “I told you this was silly; now come back to me.” If he loves her, and she is not happy with N, he should help her exit the situation without requiring personal gain in return. Unconditional love does not necessitate reciprocal behavior. 

TL;DR

New Man has a great beat, but sends an overall terrible message. It also enforces gender stereotypes. Also, X is creepy as fuck and should leave both of them alone, even if G called him, solely because he’s a passive-aggressive, manipulative fuck.

[veronicaosoria]

mercy pt 3

Genre: Angst

Length: 3.4k words

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader/Jimin

Summary: You knew the relationship was falling apart, you just couldn’t accept it. 

Part One  Part Two 

Grabbing my change from the cashier, I thanked her, taking my groceries and heading towards the exit. I swiftly make my way to my car almost throwing everything in the backseat and put my seat belt on. I had a pounding headache and I was more than relieved to be going home after a long day at work. Even though I was incredibly happy because of my new job title, it was more responsibility. I barely had time to breath lately much less do anything else, thankfully it was Friday which meant I would have the next two days off. Opening the door to my apartment I set all the groceries down and plop myself on the couch taking my shoes off in the process. Finally some time to myself.

I turned on the TV and checked my phone only to be disappointed once I realized that Jimin never got back to any of the texts I had sent him in the past few days. I figured he must’ve been busy as well, but his social media says otherwise. I checked his profile and sure enough he had posted less than two hours ago. Was he ignoring me? Since I met him we were always together, and I felt bad for my crazy work schedule recently that I actually didn't notice. For the next ten minutes I debated on what to do and my eyes glanced at the clock, 10:30pm.

Sending him another text would be either a hit or miss, he can either reply or completely ignore. To be quite honest, I didn't want to wait for his text so I slipped my shoes on with the intention to catch him on his break. But to my own surprise I couldn’t open the door. I mentally cursed to myself for being too much of a coward and started pacing back and forth in my living room. What if he genuinely was busy? Maybe I was overreacting and blowing everything out of proportion, but something didn't feel right. Reluctantly I opened my door and ran towards the gym praying that I would catch Jimin in time. As I got closer I slowed down and catched my breath and relief washed over my body as I saw him standing outside looking at his phone.

“Jimin!” I yelled out still trying to get my breathing back to normal. He looked up and his face instantly dropped making my heart ache.

“Y/N.. hi..” He mumbled, “What are you doing here?” He said rather coldly looking back at his phone.

“I came to see you, we haven't talked in a couple days and I was getting worried.” I mumbled surprised by his tone at me.

“No need to be worried Y/N.”

“A-Are you ok? You haven't got back to my texts,” I softly said “did I do something wrong?” He raised his eyebrow “Oh. Right, the reason for that is that I simply didn’t want to text you back.” He flatly said.

My eyes widened “What do you mean? Did I do something wrong Jimin?” I questioned.

“No you didn't. Why do you care so much anyways? I'm sure Yoongi hasn't made time for his side so you came running to me.”

Ouch.

I stood there not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do, unable to move. Truth is I hadn't spoken to Yoongi at all. Sure he had crossed my mind but I didn't have a desire to talk to him so Jimin’s words especially hurt. Why was he acting like this? I felt tears running down my cheeks and I immediately wiped them away, “I-I'm sorry for bothering you Jimin.” I whispered looking towards the direction of my house “I guess I'll just leave then.” And before he could say anything else, I was already running down the street finally able to let out the sobbing I was holding in looking back one more time only to find him already gone.

I barged in my house practically ripping my jacket off and slamming my bedroom door closed. My sobbing lasted longer than I wanted too but I eventually closed my eyes and dozed off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and a tear stained pillow. The events from last night came rushing back to my head making my throat close. Getting myself out of bed, I walked to the kitchen pouring myself a cup of water to ease my body. After gulping down my water I put my cup in the sink and dragged myself to the bathroom. I took one good look at myself in the mirror and I almost screamed at my appearance. Clearly I had forgotten to take my makeup off the night before and crying all night only made me look worse. Alright Y/N get yourself cleaned up.

I turned the shower on waiting for the water to get warm before getting in. I took my clothes off and stepped in. I spent a good forty-five minutes before I finished my shower routine and turned the water off grabbing my towel and wrapping it around my body. Thankfully it made me feel a lot better and I made my way to my closet to change into clothes for the day. Just as I put some socks on I heard a knock on my door. I walked towards the front door checking the peephole first before opening it and I smiled once I saw it was who it was.

“Namjoon!” I yelled out at him opening the door and running in his arms. I missed him more than anything and for him to show up at my door out of nowhere definitely made me happy.

I felt him wrap his arms around me and I led him inside leading him to the living room.

“Ahh Y/N if I knew you were going to be this excited to see me I would show up unexpectedly more often.” He chuckled following me to the couch and taking a seat next to me.

“I’m just really happy to see you, I missed my best friend.” I pouted at him.

“I missed you too Y/N.” he said “But hey you’ve been busy too I came to make sure you were at least eating something.”

I rolled my eyes “Of course I have Joonie, have you?”

“Oh really? Have you ate today?” He questioned.

“YA in my defense I woke up late” I said smiling at him trying to come up with an excuse.

“Typical child” He said grabbing my face making me look at him only to frown once he saw how swollen my eyes were. I quickly looked away standing up “U-uh do you want something to drink? Something to ea-”

“Why are your eyes swollen.” He said ignoring my question. I mentally slapped myself for not putting makeup on sooner. Here we go…

“I stayed up really late last night watching dramas, I think watching too much made my eyes irritated.” I blurted out hoping he would drop it.

“You’re a really bad liar Y/N” He responded “If you’re not going to tell me I’ll go ask Yoongi myself AFTER I beat the crap out of him.” He calmly said standing up walking to the front door.

“No no no.. wait Namjoon it’s not because of Yoongi.” I argued standing in front of him to prevent him from leaving. He raised his eyebrow confused “Then what happened?”

“I’ll tell you..” I began “But it’s a long story Joonie.”

“I have time.” He blurted out sitting back down.

For the next hour I told him everything. From meeting Jimin, to the fight with Yoongi, to the restaurant incident, and to the events from last night. Namjoon patiently listened without saying a word and wiping my tears away as I told him how hurtful Jimin’s words were. He took every word I said in and held my hand the whole time.

“You said his name was Jimin right?” He spoke up after I finished talking. I nodded my head and he took out his phone pulling up a page and showing me his social media “This Jimin?” He asked handing me his phone. Looking through the page I recognized it right away. Again I nodded confused, “Wait Joon how do you know him?” I asked giving him back his phone.

“I went to highschool with him, he's one of my good friends.” He said “Which is why I find all of this weird. Jimin isn't like this.”

“How come you never told me? Or introduced me to him?” I asked in disbelief.

He gave me a look “You know how I am with you Y/N I never bring you around my friends because I know what they're like.”

“Well yeah but still!” I yelled out annoyed.

“I just don't want you to get hurt.” He began, “Remember when you started dating Yoongi? I almost killed him just by him not asking me before he asked you out.”

I giggled “Yeah yeah dad I remember” I mocked.

“And look how that turned out Y/N.” he added. I remained quiet because after all he was right.

“Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?” He asked making me look up at him.

I sighed “honestly Joon I was going to tell you.”

I ran my fingers through my hair frustrated “I just didn’t know how too and it's been too much.”

He nodded understanding and put my hands in his “What am I going to do with you?” He joked.

I chuckled “I don't know.” I replied shrugging my shoulders.

“My job is to be here for you when you're going through stuff like this, please tell me next time.”

“I know and I'm sorry. I promise I'll stop being this annoying with my problems.” I whispered.

“Hush. You're never annoying.”

“What about you huh! Any girl troubles?” I asked changing the subject.

“No girls for me yet, I've just been so busy with work.” He said laughing. “By the way I'm having a party tonight at my house I want you there Y/N.” he said

“A party? Like with people?” I hesitantly asked.

“Yes with people.” He stated, “please come.”

I softly smiled at him “I'll be there Joonie.”

He shot me a big smile bringing out his dimples “Good, I'll see you tonight then! Love you Y/N”

“Love you more” I replied leading him to the front door as we said our goodbyes.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning up my apartment to pass time and watching dramas. As much as I wasn't up to go to a party, I wanted to be there for Namjoon. The day passed rather quickly and by the time it reached 7pm, I was already raiding my closet to find an outfit to wear. Jeans or a dress? I quickly did my best to put an outfit together and thanks to my good sense of style, I managed to find one sooner than I thought. Relieved, I made my way to the bathroom and got started on my hair and makeup. After about thirty minutes I was done and finally ready. I grabbed my phone and I was out the door.

I made it to Namjoon’s house and boy was it super packed. Drinks were everywhere, music was blasting, and people were everywhere. I squeezed through the endless bodies of people and tried to find Namjoon letting him know I was here and once I found him he immediately handed me a drink. “I'm so glad you're here, enjoy yourself but not too much! I'm watching you.” He warned giving me a stern look. I nodded at him laughing letting him get back to greeting people and made my way to an empty spot in the house sipping on my drink telling myself to have a good time. It was when I was getting a refill that I noticed someone staring at me from the corner of my eye. I looked up only to see Jimin on the other side of the room looking over at me. Great. His gaze never left my face as I grabbed another drink and I looked away walking back to my spot on the couch. I was doing my best to avoid Jimin’s stare until I noticed someone else arrive.. Yoongi.

Fuck. What the hell are they doing here?

Yoongi seemed to almost immediately spot Jimin and due to Jimin having his attention at me, Yoongi quickly averted his eyes to mine. We kept our eyes locked on each other for what felt like hours until I managed to glance at Jimin. He was no longer looking at me and instead he was burning holes into the side of Yoongi’s face.

What the fuck is going on?

I turned around and walked towards an empty spot on the couch away from both of them and anxiously sipped my drink. Although neither of them talked to me, they were both shooting death glares at each other.

God this was so frustrating, don't let this ruin your night Y/N...

I hastily stood up from the couch and began walking to the backyard for some air and to get away from both of their views. Thankfully there were less people outside and I quickly found an empty chair. I gulped down my drink and before I could grab another one I felt someone beside me already handing me one. I looked up and smiled reaching over to accept it. He looked to be around my age and although he was quite buzzed, his attractive features stood out almost instantly.

“Can I sit?” He asked.

I nodded scooting over making some room for him “thanks for the drink by the way.” I said.

“No problem, you here alone by any chance?” He asked putting his hand on my knee. I tensed up and shook my head yes. “Uhh yeah I am”

He smirked “Can I keep you company tonight?”

I stuttered, “o-oh you don't have too.”

“I’d like too.” He said taking another chug from whatever the hell he had in his cup and throwing his hand over my shoulder pulling me closer to him. “I'd also like to rip that dress off of your pretty little body later.” Warning bells went off in my head and I tried shoving him away from me only to have his grip on me tighten.

“Let me go!” I begged trying to escape his hold. At this point the people outside were starting to look over at what was going on making him growl as he let me go. I noticed both Jimin and Yoongi making their way outside through the crowd towards me. Suddenly I see Namjoon pop out of nowhere grabbing the guy by the collar of his shirt throwing him on the floor causing the drink to fall out of his hand.

“Get the FUCK out of my house.” Namjoon barked stepping closer to him with his fists clenched.

I looked over to the guy who was struggling to pick himself up from having one too many drinks and let out a grunt. I went behind Namjoon hiding myself from the eyes glued on me, “you ok Y/N?” He asked turning his attention back to me pulling me into his arms once he saw him leaving. I nodded burying my face in his chest to prevent myself from crying even harder. “I swear I'm going to kill him” he grumbled grabbing my hand leading me away from the crowd. I pulled away from him as my body relaxed and sighed, “I ruined the party mood huh?”

“No, you didn't. It just made me remember why I don't bring you around my so called friends.” He said frowning. “I swear I'm gonna kill that kid.” I gave him a soft smile “Thank you,” I reassured, “But I think I'm going to call it a night.”

He nodded as we both walked to the front yard passing both Yoongi and Jimin, I however refused to look up at them.

“I'll call you tomorrow Y/N” he replied sighing giving me a quick hug “And text me when you get home safely ok?”

“Will do Joon” I said grabbing my keys from my pocket and waving him off.

I began walking along the sidewalk towards my car which was parked farther than I hoped. I took my phone out to check the time, 12:33am

Was I really at that party for that long? It sure didn't feel like that much time passed. I shoved my phone back in my pocket as my car came into view and I felt my body being pulled back without warning. I let out a yelp and did my best to steady my balance. “What the hell?”

“Y/N,” I heard the voice say immediately recognizing who it belonged to, “Are you okay?”

“I’m not in the mood to talk right now Jimin,” I harshly replied straightening myself up continuing to walk to my car. “Especially to you.”

His face fell, “Wait wait wait please can we talk?” He begged softly grabbing my hand. I rolled my eyes at him and pulled my hand back scoffing, “Talk about what Jimin? I don’t want to hear how pathetic of a person I am anymore.”

“Please just hear me out” He pleaded stepping closer to me closing the space between us.

“I’m sorry Jimin.” I whispered keeping my head down picking up my pace and heading to my car.

“Do you still love him?” He yelled out making me freeze and stop in my tracks.

“What?” I questioned locking my eyes with his, “What are you talking about?”

“Yoongi.” He quietly said not taking his eyes off of mine.

“I-I don't-” I choked out not knowing what to say

“I don't know Jimin.” I finished looking down on the floor this time avoiding his reaction.

“I was ignoring you.” He admitted, “And I-I know what I said to you can’t be taken back but I was just..”

“Just what?” I blurted out interrupting him, “Just what huh Jimin? Do you think what you said to me not hurt?”

“Y/N…”

“Goodnight Jimin.” I said not waiting for his response.

“I like you.” he confessed, “I like you more than I thought I would.”

“Then why did yo-”

“I was scared.” He said cutting my sentence off, “I didn't think I had a chance since..”

“Since I still love him.” I finished for him. I let out a laugh as I felt tears forming in my eyes. “Tell me Jimin, how did you even know I still felt something for him?”

“He told me.” He confirmed, “and even if he didn't it was written all over your body.”

“Regardless you were the one person who actually made me forget about him even if it was just for a little while and even though I knew I was dumb for still loving someone like that, I had hope you looked past that.” I choked out as tears fell down my cheeks, he reached out to wipe them away but I harshly turned my head away refusing.

“Let me get you home Y/N, we can talk there.”

I furiously shook my head, “No.”

“Please.”

“She said no.”

Both our heads turned around to meet the one and only owner of the voice I knew far too well.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I muttered in disbelief. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough to me the past few months Yoongi?” I whispered stepping closer to him not breaking eye contact, “Why do you always do this shit to me, do you ever take my feelings into consideration at all?”

I was fuming now and my heart was racing, a million of emotions ran through my body but anger was the only thing that took over me. I glared at Yoongi waiting for his response but when it didn’t come I got more frustrated.

“Now you’ve got nothing to say?” I hissed, “Why can’t you just stop giving me mixed signals? I’m just tired of this, I want to be happy Yoongi..”

“I want you to be happy Y/N I really do,” He whispered with tears in his eyes threatening to fall,  “But I want you to be happy with me.”

It took me a while to process his words but once I did my mind began racing and I didn’t have any strength to answer him.

“I just can’t do this anymore.” I muttered. “I need space, from both of you guys.”

“Y/N..”

“NO. Just leave me alone for the next couple days.” I warned, “Please.” With that I turned to my car and leaving them both standing there speechless.

Don’t look back.

author’s note: Hiiii guyyyyss! :) I really hope you guys liked it! 

[fixxofvixx]

TEACHING VIXX - CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Okay, just a couple things. I wanted to post this as a reallllllllllly long chapter but I cut it off right before they go to the hanok (Taekwoon’s grandparent’s traditional house). I figured it might be a bit easier to read that way. I already have a lot written for the next part so it shouldn’t take long. It might actually be up before Ravi’s next chapter.

Next, I did not use Taekwoon’s parent’s real names. I didn’t want it to be too personal because I felt that his personal life wasn’t any of my business so they are basically original characters. Also, they are just referred to as “mom” and “dad” mostly anyway.

Also, sadly, I had to take a couple extra classes before I can get my degree. So…classes start tomorrow….

Yay.

But they’re not too bad so hopefully I can keep updating as normal.

Okay, that’s it…I think.

Let me know what you think!

—————————–

You continued to stare at the lingerie set on the floor. The heat from Taekwoon’s body wrapped around you from behind made you feel way too hot. You knew he could hear your heartbeat racing. You were half-worried that it might collapse on you. His arms held you against him tightly. One of his hands came up and held your chin, tilting it up until your head rested on his chest before gliding back down your body and skimming over your breast. A barely-there growl rumbled in his chest as his lips descended on your throat. You could feel his teeth skim over your shoulder and you shuddered. In return, he pulled you even closer to his chest. His tongue created a trail of fire along your neck before nipping at your ear. Thankfully, he left no marks this time that you would’ve had to hide from his parents. Meanwhile, his hands ducked under the hem of your sweater and splayed across your ribcage. You had to close your eyes at the sheer intimacy of his actions. He certainly knew what he was doing. Of course, he had an advantage in being able to sense what you liked according to your mood and heartbeat.

Geez, if he got this turned on with you wearing a sweater and pajama pants, then what would he be like if he saw the lingerie set on you?

You couldn’t help but fantasize about it. It had surprised you because you had never received a gift like this. What would your parents think?

You suddenly froze.

Parents…..

Gift……

You gasped right when Taekwoon’s fingers had reached the waistband of your pants. He apparently mistook your action as a response to his wandering fingers and hummed into your neck. You were almost distracted again but you quickly came back to your senses.

“Taekwoon!” You jerked away from him and he swayed. Lust was written all over his face and a flush rose to your cheeks.

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, its not you, its me! I didn’t get a gift for your parents for tomorrow.” The glow faded from his eyes, only to be replaced by a shadow of red around the edges.

“You stopped….this….because you were thinking about gifts for my parents?” He brought his hands up to his face and dug the heel of his palms into his eyes.

“Well, it would be rude for me to show up without something! Its traditional. What would they think of me?!” You picked up the lingerie set and placed it carefully back into its bag. You walked towards the door before his words stopped you.

“Honey, they’re going to love you. They wouldn’t think any less of you. But I might if you dont get back over her and let me finish what I started.” He did look utterly frazzled. You refused to look any further down than his shoulders, knowing you would see what you had felt moments ago.

“I can’t! I have to get something. Oh! Cake! I can make them a cake. Do they like cake? Hmm…what kind.” You consciously ignored Taekwoon’s silent pleas and walked towards the kitchen. “I’ll have to see what I have. Maybe I can run to the convenience store. Oh. Maybe carrot cake? Its not overly sweet and it would have semi-healthy ingredients? Or should I go with a different kind of dessert? Maybe–”

You didn’t get to finish your thought because Taekwoon whirled you around and took your lips with his. It was fast but passionate. Quick swipes of his tongue over your lips and nipping your bottom lip occasionally. After a few moments of the onslaught, he detached himself. Both of you were breathing heavily, partially from the passion within the kiss and partially from the adrenaline rush it had caused.

“Ok. You may now continue with what you were doing.” He walked further into the kitchen and started in on making the pasta he had mentioned earlier.

You stood there for a moment not trusting your legs to work. That little shit did that on purpose! You knew he was trying to get a little revenge on you for leaving him back there.

You accepted that you partially deserved it. Of course, you were regretful about pulling away, too. If it hadn’t been for the fear of disrespecting his parents, there’s no telling how far you both would have gotten. The thought thrilled you and scared you all at the same time.

You decided that you would have to think about it later and get to work on that cake.

——————

The next morning, you sat in the car that Taekwoon had borrowed from one of the managers. A box of pomegranate drinks, rice cakes, a carrot cake, and chocolate truffles sat boxed up nicely in the back seat.

Taekwoon was…characteristically quiet for a good part of the morning. You suspected that he was still irritated about what happened last night. Or, actually, what didn’t happen last night. He was pouty throughout dinner and sulked into the shower before slinking into bed. Although, he still held you throughout the night, you could tell that he was miffed. You mentally noted to make it up to him later. You made sure to pack the lingerie set he had given you.

His parents only lived about 30 minutes outside of Seoul so you were already halfway there. He had told you to take a nap or something but you were too wired and nervous.

Looking at Taekwoon, you noticed that his jaw was set in annoyance. His jaw clenched every so often and he was very quiet. Maybe he thought you being with him wasn’t important? Or that you put his parents before him? But shouldn’t he be happy that you thought to bring gifts for his parents? Still, you considered that maybe apologizing and letting him know that you would make it up to him would help the situation. You didn’t want it to be awkward when you got to his parent’s house.

“Taekwoon…,” he took a quick glace at you before giving you a hum in response, “um…I’m sorry about last night. I wasn’t really thinking clearly and I was just nervous about meeting your parents. And I didn’t want them to think badly of me since I’m basically going to be spending the rest of my life with you. I’m just…” You stopped, not knowing what else to say.

“Say it again.” He kept his eyes on the road but you could tell that his expression had softened a bit.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, not that. That last thing you said.”

You thought for a second and then chuckled. He wanted you to repeat that part? Hmm, so be it.

“I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with you? That part?”

“Yeah.” A huge toothy smile broke out on his face and you shook your head. He took one hand off the steering wheel and grabbed for yours. “And you have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn’t have been a brat. I think I was just too into the moment because you looked so damn good and your heartbeat was off the scale and then it just stopped. So I think my body just freaked out and my brain followed suit. You have every right to stop anything I’m doing. Regardless of your reason. Please know that. I don’t care if you just want to stop and order pizza instead. Just hit me upside the head and tell me.”

You listened to his explanation, trying so hard not to laugh at how utterly cute he was being. He was basically peeved that you had cockblocked him. But, on the other hand, he gave you the power to do just that, anytime you wanted. You couldn’t hide the smile that graced your lips.

“Well, sometimes pizza just has to take priority.”

When he realized that you were mocking him, he released your hand and latched onto your thigh instead. He squeezed it gently and cut his eyes over to you.

“I bet I can make you change your mind.” His fingers curled around the inside of your thigh and you stilled. Yeah, he probably could. But you didn’t want to give him the upper hand just yet.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Not much can overrule pizza. Ooh, or chicken!” You grinned when you noticed the knuckles of his other hand turning white while gripping the steering wheel.

“You’re lucky I’m driving right now.”

“Why? Feel like pouncing?”

“Oh my God, you’re evil. If we weren’t almost there….we’d definitely be late.” He gave one last squeeze to your thigh before returning his hand to the wheel so he could turn off at the exit.

The thrill of flirting with Taekwoon was soon taken over by the nervousness of nearing his parent’s house. When he pulled up in the driveway, his mother was already waiting outside. You took several deep breaths to calm yourself.

“Calm down, honey. She’s going to love you.”

You had no response for him. You were unable to form thoughts, much less words. You unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the car. His mom immediately rushed to your side and enveloped you in a hug. Your eyes went wide and you looked at Taekwoon, who only smiled as he retrieved the gifts from the backseat.

“Oh my goodness, its so lovely to finally meet you! Taekwoon talks about you constantly! He was right, you are just the cutest thing!” She cupped your cheeks and it was then that you noticed that her eyes were green. They were more pale than Taekwoon’s, almost a translucent shade. They were beautiful and kind. She then grabbed your wrist to lead you inside.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Ma'am. Taekwoon has told me a lot about you. I’ve been very excited to meet you.” Your hands shook as you followed her through the front door of the large house and into the kitchen.

“Oh, gosh, honey, no. Call me Mom! You don’t have to be so formal. You’re already part of the family!”

“Oh, alright then. Thank you.” You just went ahead and declared yourself in a state of panic. You turned to find Taekwoon carrying in the boxes of desserts you had made. You helped him set them down on the table and looked up at his mother.

“I brought a few things for you and Mr. Jung. Nothing overly special but I wanted to bring something to thank you for allowing me to visit you.” You watched as she looked through what you had offered and gave a sweet smile.

“Oh, my dear. You are too much! You didn’t have to bring anything but yourself. Taekwoon has mentioned your baking abilities so I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to try some things. But you really didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”

“I enjoy baking. I did it for so many years that its mostly a habit now. Although the managers beg me not to make so much so the boys can stay healthy.” You laughed when you heard Taekwoon grumble something about the managers just wanting to hog it all.

His Mom pulled out one of the truffles you had made and popped it into her mouth. Her eyes widened and she chewed happily.

“Wow, this is really good.” She looked at Taekwoon and giggled. “Your Dad may not get any if he doesn’t hurry home.” She pulled a small container out of one of the cabinets and filled it with several different truffles. She closed the container and stuffed it in the very back of the fridge. She turned around and came back to the table, winking at you. “Now, those are mine.”

Taekwoon walked up beside you and put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to his side.

“So, Mom, what do you think? Can I keep her? I’ll take really good care of her.” You smiled and blushed at his question. Apparently, Taekwoon turns cute in front of his Mother.

“Well, I have no objections. We’ll have to see what your Father says.” She sighed dramatically and waved her hand around. You decided that this wasn’t so bad after all.

“Do I get a say in this?” You looked between the two and tried to play serious. Taekwoon, however, saw right through you and grinned. He wrapped his arm around your waist and hauled you against his side.

“Nope, sorry. You’re mine and stuck with me forever.” He placed a kiss on your temple and you smiled.

“Wow, she’s got a skittery little heartbeat, doesn’t she?” His Mom walked over to the stove to begin boiling some water in a tea kettle.

“I can hear it all the way out in the driveway.” You jumped when you heard a male voice coming from the doorway. Recognizing him as Taekwoon’s father, you pulled out of Taekwoon’s arms and bowed.

“Hello, I’m (Y/N), its a pleasure to meet you.” You bowed again for good measure and looked at him fully. Dark green eyes stared back at you.

“So you’re the one who’s been distracting our Taekwoon.” He narrowed his eyes at you and your heart dropped. You didn’t know what to say. Taekwoon had told you that they had approved of your relationship. Was he just telling you that to make you feel better?

At that moment, Taekwoon’s mom walked over and slapped her husband on the shoulder.

“Don’t do that to her! Can’t you see she’s already nervous?” His face lifted into a smile and you realized that he’d been joking.

“I’m sorry, dear. I couldn’t resist. I watch too many dramas.” He winked and came to stand next to you and Taekwoon. “In all honesty, I am pleased you are here. And I am even more pleased that you’ve taken on the daunting task of taming our little panther here.”

From that point the house was filled with laughter from the stories his parents would tell you about Taekwoon’s youth, much to his dismay.

“(Y/N), you’re a handler, correct?” His mother asked after you all had settled in the living room with tea and the desserts you had brought. You nodded and she continued. “Thats so wonderful! Such a rare woman! I will tell you, I wished I could have known you when Taekwoon was younger. He gave me all kinds of grief! Have you witnessed the panther take over yet?”

“No, not yet. I’ve seen him very upset but never lose control.” You looked over to Taekwoon and smiled. He gave no response, still pouting because his parents were embarrassingly revealing his past.

“Oh my, you are lucky! He gave me such a time when he was going through puberty! Every girl he’d see, he’d lose it!”

“Mother!” Taekwoon almost came out of his seat next to you. You laughed at his reaction. Now, he looked more nervous than you were earlier.

“Well, its the truth!” Her green eyes flashed at it. Taekwoon settled back down but not before letting out a tiny growl. For just a second, you were witness to what it must have been like in the Jung household when Taekwoon was younger. It almost made you feel sad for missing out on seeing him grow up.

Taekwoon must have noticed your shift in mood. He turned to you, eyebrows raised in concern. You waved it off indicating that you were fine. His hand came up to rest at the nape of your neck right under your hair. He lightly ran his fingers over the skin there. He knew the simple gesture from him would help calm you.

“Well, I think its about time to get some food started. Are you sure you have to leave tonight? You’re welcome to stay here. You can even stay in the same room!” She clasped her hands together and smiled. You blushed at what she was implying.

“We’ll come back again and stay longer. I really want to show (Y/N) the hanok. She deserves some rest and relaxation after what she’s been through.” Taekwoon stood to head towards the kitchen. He smoothed his hand down the back of your head and followed his father. You started to follow but his mother stopped you. She rose from her seat and walked over to take over Taekwoon’s spot.

“We can stay here, my dear. The boys like to be by themselves whem they’re conspiring in the kitchen.”

“Taekwoon cooks for me a lot. He really is a skilled man.”

“Yes, and I can see you are a very skilled woman. I see the way Taekwoon looks at you. He’s in it for the long haul. I dare say you feel the same?” You nodded. “Good. You’re both good for each other. I can tell that you calm his soul. Taekwoon told me about what happened with that awful snake hybrid. I’m so sorry you had to see that side of us.”

“It was certainly a scary experience. But I had Taekwoon and he’s saved me more than I can ever pay back. I try not to think about how that whole ordeal may have played out if Taekwoon hadn’t been by my side. You’ve raised a very good son. He’s more than I could have ever hoped for.”

You felt a little embarrassed because you hadn’t poured your heart out like this in such a long time. But, you felt like you could do that with her. You missed your family back in the States and you were grateful to gain another.

“Oh goodness, honey. I am so happy that you feel that way. I can’t wait to have grandkids from you both!” She clapped her hands in excitement.

Your breath caught in your throat when you heard the word kids. Of course, you had thought about it. But you never imagined talking about it with your boyfriend’s mother.

“Oh, uh, haha, yeah.” You stuttered and stared at your hands. You had no idea how to respond to that.

“Y-You do want kids, right?”

“Oh! Yes, I do. I just…wasn’t prepared to talk about it.” You giggled and jumped a bit when she touched your ear. She pulled your hair back and looked behind your ear. It took you a moment to realize that she was looking for the mating mark.

“Oh dear, you guys are a bit behind, aren’t you? Taekwoon certainly has changed his priorities with women. Well, no matter. You both are still young.” She giggled as she stood and walked over to the large bookcase that stood next to the window. Your heart was beating out of rhythm. You actually just had a lowkey conversation about sex with your boyfriend’s mother. And now you just wanted to crawl under the floor. And what did she mean Taekwoon had changed his priorities with women?

She returned with two large binders that looked like photo books. The previous conversation forgotten when she opened the cover to reveal several pictures of a baby Taekwoon. You kept a squeal inside as you perused over the pictures of Taekwoon as a little squishball. You quickly turned the page on the ones that showed him in the bath or just hanging out…literally.

“Okay, quit torturing my girlfriend. The food is ready. Aw, Mom, did you have to bring out the baby pictures already?” He groaned as he walked over to you.

“But you were so cute!” You turned back a page and pointed to a picture that featured a toddler Taekwoon–minus clothing. “See? How cute is that?!”

He lunged forward and snapped the book closed. A faint pink tint stained his cheeks.

“Oh come on, sweetie, you don’t need to be embarrassed about your old pictures.” His mom patted him on the shoulder. “Its not like it comparable. You grew up….everywhere!” She laughed when Taekwoon gave a strangled cough. Oh, how you loved his mom.

You were still laughing when Taekwoon took the book away and pulled you from the couch.

“I wish I had the ability to wipe away memories.”

[mercuryze]

You & I, Apart

pairing: Usnavi/Reader

word count: 2159

warnings: an argument between the pair, a few curse words thrown around

summary: What was meant to be a quick coffee run turned into screaming, hurt feelings, and an even more strained relationship between ex-lovers.

part 1 is here!

The poor girl has been functioning (poorly) without coffee for three weeks now. (Y/N) had been making sure to get enough sleep during the nights so she wouldn't run out of energy the next day. This morning, however, she had done anything but get the amount of sleep she needed.

Anxiety had kept her awake for most of the night. The concept that she would actually be leaving the barrio for the first time in her life had finally caught up with her. The young woman had gotten incredibly homesick when she was at a sleepover in Queens- imagine the longing she'd feel while in Virginia. She made a mental note to ask Nina for tips on how to keep the dread at bay. The only way (Y/N) would be able to keep herself awake would be to get a coffee. And the only place that served coffee that she enjoyed was Usnavi's bodega. And she would rather saw off her arm than have to go in there and actually speak to the man she was still hopelessly in love with. Initially, she had asked Nina to go to the bodega and place an order for her. On a normal day, the young woman would have happily gotten a coffee for her companion. Today wasn't normal, however. Daniela had called an official meeting; anyone who considered themselves a friend of Usnavi or (Y/N) was required to attend. She had created a plan, and everyone had a part in it. "I've still got unpacking to do, (Y/N). Go get your own coffee." Nina laughed- though her tone might have come across harsher than she had intended for it to. "Haven't you been, uh, meaning to say goodbye to Usnavi anyway? I mean, you're leaving in four days." She pointed out and jabbed her friend's side with her finger. "Maybe you need some closure." At this, (Y/N) let out an exasperated sigh and threw her arms into the air. "There's no need for closure! I mean- we don't need closure! Why is everyone saying that? I'm fine, he's fine!" She exclaimed and went to go grab her purse. "Everything is fine. And, you know, just to prove it, I'll go get my own coffee. I'll just be another one of his customers." Nina watched her leave, a frown on her face. She could have handled that in a million different ways. Now (Y/N) now frustrated beyond words, since, as Nina thought, she was anything but fine.

The commute to the bodega was short. Unfortunately. There were a few moments where (Y/N) seriously considered turning back and staying at home. The thought of falling asleep in the middle of the day kept her going, however. The task at hand was simple: get in, order a coffee, and get out. It sounded like a mission that would be assigned to a secret agent. No, she thought. Secret agents have it much easier.

The usual belt went off as the store door was opened. She flinched at the sound, knowing that the owner would come walking out of the back room with a smile on his face. (Y/N) repeated her order quietly to herself. She’d berate herself if she stuttered while speaking to Usnavi. Soon she’d be in Virginia and away from all of her worries. Every seconded was being counted.

Footsteps were heard, and they were getting closer. (Y/N) steadily inhaled as she pasted a faux smile onto her face. Everything is fine.

“What can I- oh. Uh, one cream, three sugars, right?”

That wasn’t Usnavi’s voice. Thank God. A genuine grin appeared on the young woman’s face as she gazed at Sonny. She could definitely talk to Sonny. Her chest would still tighten, but she wouldn’t feel as despondent as she would have if her ex-love had greeted her. (Y/N) stepped closer and rested her arms on the counter that separated the two. “Yeah,” She nodded. “ -but how could you have possibly known I’m here for a coffee?”

She was joking, and yet Sonny’s expression was nothing short of dejection. His tone only brought the atmosphere in the room down even further. “What else would you be here for? It’s not like you’d drop by just to have a nice lil chat with me or Usnavi.”

Ouch.

What could she have responded with? What could she say or do to possibly lighten up the mood? “Can I get a Snickers bar too?” She meekly inquired, her eyes having found a sudden interest in the floor.

Sonny reached out for a split second, an overwhelming amount of guilt taking place in his heart. He quickly retracted his arm and turned to make a fresh pot of coffee. He didn’t bother to turn as the bell went off once again- indicating that another person had entered the bodega. Sonny didn’t have to. This was all part of Daniela’s plan.

The sound of his cousin’s voice filled the air. He cringed at (Y/N)’s inevitable negative reaction. “Hey, Sonny, didja hear from Daniela? She told me to meet her at the salon, and as soon as I got over there, she sent me…back…here…“

The words slowed down until an uncomfortable silence intruded the room. Just as Usnavi’s voice had been, Sonny’s actions seemed to be in slow motion. The young man sluggishly turned around as his eyes darted from (Y/N) to Usnavi, from Usnavi to (Y/N), and repeat. The poor woman held a look of utter distress while his cousin seemed…hopeful. The two hadn’t had a proper conversation in what felt like dozens of years.

“Uh, you know what, Sonny?” (Y/N) spoke up, her voice having cracked ever so slightly. “I’ll come back another time. I’m not really in the mood for coffee anymore.” She ended her timid statement with a weary laugh and turned toward the door. It seemed like the dozens of years would turn into centuries- (Y/N) could be considered a ballerina with how she danced around the situation.

Before she could exit the bodega, a hand tightly wrapped around her wrist and tugged her back. A yelp left her lips as she stumbled over herself. “No, wait, we’re going to talk.” The culprit said and pulled (Y/N)’s body closer to his own. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sonny retiring to the back room. She pondered as to if she should have said something to the younger boy or not, but her train of thought was derailed by the deep voice once again.

“(Y/N), please,” Usnavi added. There was a hint of desperation in his tone that practically made the woman he held wince. She had to push past that, though. And so she did. With a sharp turn, she ripped her wrist out of his grasp and scoffed.

As she spun around to face him, (Y/N)’s hair ungracefully whipped around and hit her in the face. The store owner probably would have chuckled if it weren’t for the solemn expression on his ex’s face. “No, Usnavi. There’s no (Y/N) please in this. Or ever. Just please leave me be, okay?”

Alright, her tone was harsher than she cared to admit- but she couldn’t just immediately shrink back and apologize. She was not a weak person. Besides, Usnavi needed to be put in his place. He had no right to roughly grab her and prevent her from leaving. If she wanted to speak with him, then she would initiate a conversation.

Although he had recognized her exasperation, Usnavi still pushed. He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking even more childish than his cousin. “Not okay. Not with me. Don’t you know that I feel things too? You’ve confused and hurt me beyond words! Just talk to me! Take five minutes out of your precious day and let me know why you left me, princesa.”

The pet name that was previously used for (Y/N) had now been rolled off of a bitter tongue. She was taken aback for a few seconds. The pair had only argued a total of two times during their relationship—during their entire time of knowing each other—so this sour confrontation was a strange territory for both of them.

“Take five minutes out of, hah, are you kidding me?” Her tone of voice had raised significantly as she pointed a finger in his face. “You know what, príncipe? You don’t even get to be upset with me!” She mockingly shot back. “You should’ve tried to talk to me while I was still your goddamn girlfriend. I would’ve been fucking fine with taking time out of my day to talk to you, but you were wasting all your breath on…on flirting with fucking…Vanessa!”

The name drop rendered Usnavi momentarily speechless. He had an entire response, too. As soon as she mentioned Vanessa, his rebuttal had slipped through his teeth and fell into oblivion. His hands slowly removed themselves from his jean pockets.

“(Y/N), what are you talking about?”

The question was hesitant and soft. It was a glass inquiry- and (Y/N) shattered it.

She drew in another breath and stepped away from him. “Are you really…ugh!” A manicured hand ran itself through her hair. (Y/N) was frustrated and there was a miserable weight on her chest that made it difficult to breathe. “My own boyfriend ignored me for more than a week, the most we spoke was goodnight and good morning. Every plan we made was ruined by your apparently busy schedule, the only greeting I got here was a wave and a kiss on the cheek. Vanessa would always be on the other side of that counter making you laugh and smile.” Her tone had gone from loud and enraged to barely above a whisper. “You were so much happier with her…so I…I just want you to be happy, asshole.”

(Y/N) hadn’t realized the tears running down her face until Usnavi reached forward and wiped them away. She could clearly see his own eyes watering. Fuck- did she do that?

“If you think you’re not still in my heart, you’re wrong. For such a smart girl you’re so dumb sometimes, cariño.” It wasn’t a genuine chuckle that came from Usnavi. “Vanessa’s my friend. She’s our friend. She was just there for me when I needed support.”

Once again, (Y/N) moved away from his touch. “Why couldn’t I be there? Don’t you trust me? Don’t you love me?” Her demeanor betrayed her refusal to be defeated. This was exhausting.

Usnavi quickly jumped forward, though he respected the unspoken barriers that (Y/N) had set. “Of course I trust you! And you know I love you more than anything in this life. It’s just…“ He trailed off as he heard Sonny re-enter the room.

The young man set a cup of coffee down on the counter, gaining the attention of both his cousin and (Y/N).

“One cream, three sugars. Just how you like it. On the house.”

To say (Y/N) sprinted forward was an understatement. She wanted nothing more than to leave this horrid conversation. Fuck closure! She didn’t need it. It was too hard to reach, and her heart wasn’t strong enough to listen to Usnavi’s arguments.

Without saying another word to either of the boys, she grabbed the caffeine and headed toward the exit. Predictably, she didn’t successfully make it outside.

“You’re going off to college. You’re leaving the barrio and I don’t know how to deal with it.” Usnavi called out to her. She had stopped with her free hand on the door handle and her eyes on the street curb. Freedom was so close she could taste it.

Her silence willed Usnavi to keep going. “I couldn’t speak because I couldn’t think of anything to say. Everything I thought of saying to you hurt too much. I wanted to be selfish and make you stay here. I wanted you to throw away your future and spend all your days with me. Vanessa let me rant about all of those inconsiderate thoughts to her. She cheered me up. She prepared me to be ready to let you go be free. I learned how we could proceed with a long-distance relationship because of Vanessa.

“Do you wanna know what the shittiest part about all of this is?”

Again, he was met with the back of (Y/N)’s head and her lack of a response. So he went on.

“They promised me we’d be alright. All of them. Vanessa, Sonny, Nina, Carla, Daniela. I believed them. I was too busy worrying about my own feelings…I’m sorry I didn’t pay enough attention to your feelings. And… yeah, thas’ it. I’m sorry. You can go.”

Thank God she hadn’t turned around to face him. The tears that stung her cheeks were embarrassing. All she wanted was a coffee.

[anavoliselenu]

freedom chapter 9

JUSTIN POV

"You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom."- Malcolm X

I took one pill…then another… then another… then another.

I readjusted my glass on my nose and read the fucking label on the container. It would probably be best if I knew what the fuck I was ingesting. Valium. Well, praise Jesus for it. I don't know if I would even be able to make it another year without the stuff. Living my life was stressful only made more so by my headstrong, stubborn, uncontrollable, incredibly gorgeous wife.

My car was gone. Not just any car, but the car. The one I polished in my free time, if I ever had any. The one I hadn't even turned on since buying it for fear that the engine might get overheated. The one that I stared at every morning, wishing I could drive it to work, but knew I couldn't. My Bugatti only was it stolen from my garage, but it was done out of spite.

She wanted me to hear the engine roaring out of the driveway and she wanted me to get angry about it.

I began reading the pill bottle, "Side effects include:Drowsiness, muscle weakness, tiredness… New or worsening mental or mood changes, confusion, difficulty breathing, fainting, fever, chills, or persistent sore throat, hallucinations..."

The list went on forever. I would gladly accept it all, though, if I could just have five fucking minutes of peace.

Alec poked his head into my office. "You brought this on yourself."

"Get out." I rubbed my forehead.

"She took your damn car because you're treating her like an invalid." He disobeyed me and sauntered in, chomping on some chips. Crumbs were sprinkling everywhere, but our wonderful dog began lapping them up in his wake.

"Get out!" I roared and then quickly worked to calm myself down before continuing. "Please, just leave me alone."

"You can't expect to disable Selena's car and just sit back while she gets driven around everywhere. She's tougher than that."

"I thought you were going to the grocery store with her," I growled. "Why can't you just go by yourself? She's not your maid."

"Uh, as I recall, I was banned from shopping for food."

"You brought twenty frozen pizzas. Why in the hell would you buy twenty frozen pizzas?" I recalled the last grocery store debacle. "We didn't even have enough room for them all."

He shrugged, taking a seat. "I was hungry. When do you think she'll get back?"

"When she's done shopping." I slammed my fist down, "I'm getting a housekeeper. We should have someone who does all of this medial shit. Why is Selena going to the store this late? It's not rational."

"She likes being independent."

"I don't care. I refuse to let her…"

"Stop right there." Alec raised his hand. "If you use that type of language, she'll kill us both. Selena doesn't want a housekeeper. She likes to clean and cook all by herself. It makes her feel useful."

"She'll have to deal." I picked up another bottle of pills and took two, not bothering to read the labels on this one. I just knew it made me feel better.

"Well, you have to admit, the Bugatti is one hell of a car. And you don't drive it, so why can't she?"

"Because it's a racing car. She doesn't need to be in anything that fast in her condition."

"She's not a doll, you know."

"Everyone keeps saying that," I replied, sighing through my nose. "I just want her to be safe, and it seems like everything I try to do is just making her madder."

"Because you don't talk to her. You just assume Selena will go along with everything. Wrong! She's a grown woman, in case you didn't know. Try explaining it to her. I guarantee you it will work better for your health."

"Shut up and get out of my office." I took my glasses off, flinging them on the table in front of me.

"Alright, alright…" He stood, taking his fucking chips with him, and exited.

Francis stayed behind and hoped up on the chair opposite me. Normally, I would scold him for being on the furniture. I couldn't bring myself to care right now. Maybe these mood stabilizers actually did work.

"Don't look at me like that." I scrubbed my face with my palms. "She's going to give me gray hairs. I know it's just a car, but it's more than that. She fights me on everything when I'm just trying to protect her."

Francis tilted his head, his tiny ears perking up.

"This is all your fault," I told him. "You should have told me she was leaving without Alec. I wouldn't have allowed…" I stopped myself before I started sounding like the father of a sixteen year old girl.

I let myself relax and sunk into my plush office chair. My body felt incredibly heavy.

Of course, I had to have something to interrupt me.

The phone on my desk jolted me awake. I groaned and picked up.

"What?" I didn't bother with pleasantries. If it was Esme on the other end, I was fucked.

"Uh, Boss. This is Danny."

"Who?"

"Danny. Mrs. Bieber's bodyguard."

"Oh, what are you doing calling me?" I sat up straighter.

"We have a situation."

"A situation?"

"Yes, sir."

There was silence for a couple of seconds. "Are you stupid? Talk!" I commanded.

"Oh, right, sir. Um, Mrs. Bieber was caught in a rather…sticky predicament."

"You're speaking in riddles and my patience is dangerously low. Is she hurt? Did she crash the car? Did she have a fucking heart attack?"

"No, sir. We're here at the market down the street and there's been what seems like a robbery. There are men inside with guns. They are holding the people hostage."

I stood up so fast, my chair toppled over. "Tell me she's not in there."

"Uh, yes, sir, she is."

"Fucking…" I ran a hand through my hair and pulled. "Why weren't you in there with her?"

"You told us to keep a distance…"

"No, I told you to protect her," I seethed. "That's what's wrong with you people. Paid-for-hire is never the way to go when dealing with security. Take you team and go home; you're all fired."

"But, sir-"

"You're lucky I'm not going to kill you. But if she has one hair on her head harmed, you better run for your motherfucking life." I slammed the phone down, startling Francis.

I turned and punched the first thing in reach, which happened to be a window. It didn't break, but a crack ran up the pane, splintering off in different directions. I had too much medication in me to feel my hand, but heard the pop of my knuckles upon contact.

That can't be good…

I didn't have time to dwell on my anger and rushed into the bedroom. I pulled on anything I could find, not caring if it stunk or if it was dirty. I was moving too quickly to let my OCD take over.

Suddenly, all thoughts of my sports car were lost. Fuck the Buggatti. Was Selena alright? Had they hurt her? Was this some random robbery? Was she keeping her head down and eyes open? Was she using the skills I had taught her to stay alive? Was the baby okay?

I jumped the stairs three at a time and slid on the hardwood floor in the hallway, trying to grab my keys from the table.

"Uh, Justin…" Alec called. "You might want to get in here and see this."

I went into the family room where he had the TV on.

The scene made me even more anxious. Police cars were everywhere, people were being pushed behind offensive 'Caution' tape, and a slew of cops were positioned in front of the grocery store. The woman who was reporting might as well have been just standing there, because I couldn't hear. Her words meant nothing to me.

"I think Selena might be in trouble." Alec's mouth hung open as he watched.

I pulled out my phone and called her number. Three times I called, and she didn't pick up—just like she hadn't been doing all night. At first, I thought it was because she was ignoring me. Now I feared it was something more.

I snapped back to reality and dashed for the door. My younger brother was there to block my path.

"Get out of my way." I was so angry that my hands were shaking.

"I can't let you go down there, Justin. This is a job for the police."

"Move your ass," I snarled. "Now!"

"You could get someone hurt. I know you're just going to barge in and take control. You can't do that. You need to stay here and let the cops handle this."

I moved close to him. "If you don't get out of my way, I'll kill you."

"I'm trying to save you…" His eyes held a little bit of fear from my threat, but not much.

I lifted my knee up and struck him right between the legs. He let out a yelp of pain and a groan of uneasiness. He fell into me while I cradled him down to the ground.

"I know that was a bitch move, but I warned you," I said in his ear. "I don't care who you are, come between me and my wife again, and I'll make good on that promise to kill you."

I left him on the floor, whimpering, while I ran to the garage. I chose the thing closest to the front, which happened to be a white Mercedes. I didn't remember buying it, but got in anyway. I sped out of the driveway and down the street, hitting two of my neighbor's mailboxes on the way.

My hands were glued to the steering while and my knuckles started turning white. My teeth were pulling at my bottom lip—a habit I had picked up from Selena.

"Why didn't you just stay home tonight?"

A thousand scenarios were going through my head, but I tried not to let them get the better of me. I needed to know what the hell was going on, and I wouldn't get that information by blowing up at the cops. One thing was for certain, though;: I was pissed beyond belief. Not at Selena, but whoever the hell it was who had her in danger.

By the time I screeched to a halt in front of the store, I felt like I had been driving for hours. The adrenaline rushing through my veins was enough to keep me awake for days.

The scene was just as it was on TV, but so much more alarming. Red and blue lights flashed everywhere. Police cars and ambulances were placed, not only in the parking lot, but up and down the streets as well. People were crowded around, talking, whispering.

The yellow tape that blocked everything off was a complete nuisance to me, but easy to rip out of the way.

"Sir, you need to get back." A young deputy ran in front of me, his hands raised.

"If you value your life, you'll step away from me," I said lowly. My voice was raspy with authority, laced with a hint of deadly rage.

"All civilians must be behind the barricades, sir." He pushed my chest.

I took his wrist and flipped it behind me, pulling it halfway up his back. I saw a lot of commotion out of the corner of my eye. Police officers being being shouted at me.

I pulled on his wrist more, making him squirm under my grasp. "I need to get to my wife. Who's in charge here?" I asked him.

"Behind the yellow tape, sir,"he ground out through his clenched teeth.

"Justin, let him go." I heard a familiar voice. "I'll have you arrested right here if I have to."

I pushed the deputy on the ground and raised my head, only slightly surprised by the man in my eye line.

"Embry Call. What the hell are you doing here?" I stepped over the pathetic excuse for a cop, who I had just disarmed.

"I work Hostage now," he said, almost proudly.

This was the man who was working under Jacob Black during my entire investigation. He had visited Selena in jail to inform her of my death. I knew this because she told me how much she hated him. He held her while she cried.

I should say something like 'thank you' right now, but I didn't have time to bring up the past.

"You were demoted?" I raised an eyebrow.

"If you must know, yes. That fucking stunt you pulled four years ago didn't go well for some of us." He snapped his mouth shut.

The officers had lowered their weapons, but were still standing there like they didn't have anything better to do.

Embry looked the same. Still .Your run-of-the mill officer with too much time on his hands and not enough important cases to actually make a difference in the world. Probably what Selena's father looked like thirty years ago.

"It seemed to do great things for your boss, Mr. Black. He's working for the Pentagon now." I shrugged. "I thought you were in on the plan to take an innocent woman to jail and try to force things out of her."

"I was never working with Jacob and you know it." He stood up to me. "He was a dirty cop. I always liked Selena. She had to be strong to put up with your ass for so long."

"You don't have the right to speak her name." I got closer to him, our noses almost touching. He was just about as tall as me. I never noticed that before.

"You think you have everyone fooled, don't you? Coming back here like some God and making a big splash," Embry scoffed. "You're still the same murderer you were when I was tracking you."

"So why don't you arrest me?" I goaded him. He didn't answer me. "Exactly."

"How did you get back here anyway? Are you on parole or something? Were all your charges dropped?"

"That's information known only between me and a highly official district attorney. I'm not sure they share that kind of stuff with…hostage negotiators." I looked Embry up and down, a clear indication of my disgust of him.

"I almost had you." He shook his head. "But you…slipped away. You always do."

"You didn't catch me because you're weak. I made it easy for you and Black."

"Then why did you run away?"

Get Selena. Forget this fucker!

"That's a different story for a different day. For when I actually have time for you and your dirty cop rule book."

"I play by the rules."

"What do they say about a situation like this?" I looked around the parking lot, filling with more people and more cars.

"They say…we wait." His eyes didn't falter or shift. He was serious.

I pushed him out of my way, walking closer to the police car line up that was placed about two hundred feet from the entrance of the store. The officers followed, yelling orders.

"Justin Bieber, you have no jurisdiction here. You're not even a cop." He spun me around. I calmed my anger from his touch. It wouldn't be advantageous for me to get arrested right now.

"My wife is in there." I pointed behind me. "I demand to know what you're going to do about it."

For the first time, I saw him show his emotions. His eyes widened and he stumbled. "Selena's in there?"

"Yes, and she's being held hostage. I know nothing and need answers."

"You need to go home, Justin. I can't help her if you're here."

"Bullshit. My child is in danger."

"You have a child?" he almost shouted. "What the hell?"

"Well…no. Not yet," I stuttered. "She's pregnant."

"Oh, well, congratulations." Embry nodded.

"Thanks." I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

We stood around like awkward, ex-best friends, meeting each other for the first time since graduation. It was stifling, and a horribly forced tolerance swirled around us. He didn't like me; I didn't like him. We both knew that.

"Are you going to get her or should I?" I tapped my shoe impatiently.

"Boss, do you want us to escort him away?" Another deputy came up behind me. I almost wrung his neck for being so close.

Embry looked at me with squinted eyes, sizing me up. "Can you keep your cool and let me do my job?"

"I'll give you one fucking hour." I held a finger up. "Then I'm handling it."

"He can stay," Embry told his men.

I stuck close to him since he seemed to know what he was doing. Embry was very confident and clear with his demands. He told everyone what needed to happen and when. I was begrudgingly impressed.

Selena was in there. I saw my Buggatti on the far side of the parking lot. I didn't give a fuck about it anymore. I was tempted to burn the thing just to see if God would accept my sacrifice and send Selena out to me.

I paced behind Embry as he and the other officers went over floor plans of the grocery store.

"There are only two ways in," someone said, hunched over the police car hood where the papers were scattered. "The loading dock in the back and the front entrance."

"There are snipers on the roof and the two buildings across the street as well," someone else muttered. "We've got the place covered, so no one's getting out."

Embry exhaled, "I don't like these odds."

That made me stop. Everyone took notice and ceased their talking, so I began pacing again.

"I need video surveillance from inside. Where is my video feed?" Embry shouted.

"It's coming!" a tech guy said. "Give us five minutes."

"How many people are inside?" I asked no one in particular.

"We're not sure."

"How many robbers are there?"

"We're not sure."

"How long have they been in there?"

"An hour, maybe more. We're not sure."

"What do you know?" I crashed my fist down on the car. I was rewarded with a low throb, pulsing throughout my hand. A couple cops jumped and had hands on their guns, but easedback.

"Justin, stop it." Embry pulled me away from the group. "You're not helping anyone."

"I need her back now. I'm starting to go crazy." I rubbed my palms on my pants. They had been sweating for too long.

"I'm doing the best I can and I promise to get her out first," he whispered. "Just give me time. All hostage takers want to be heard. Once they call, I'll know what they need specifically."

I felt like I was going to throw up as the minutes passed.

Emmett and Jasper arrived half an hour later. They paced along with me, but tried to say everything was going to be all right. I was tired of hearing that. My brothers were far more rational than I was. They kept telling me to trust the police.

What the fuck?

Since when do we trust police? Let alone, the one who used to visit my wife in jail when she was locked up. I don't think so. But I didn't do anything. I cooled my nerves because I was in the perfect place for information. Embry talked to me every couple of minutes and gave me updates.

"We have a video feed." One of the tech officers brought over a crude-looking laptop, which played a black and white scene. He set it on the hood of the cop car. I pushed my way into the circle.

"Where's Selena?" I asked.

Emrby rolled his eyes. "There are other people we need to be worried about as well."

"I don't fucking care," I said harshly. "Can you see her?"

"Justin, please just shut up!"

"Don't you ever talk to me that way!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, reminding me to be tranquil. Emmett had suddenly become the voice of reason. I grumbled, but didn't say anything more.

The picture changed every couple of seconds. The feed was from several different cameras around the store, placed at a variety of locations. Each time, my heart sped up, seeking her out.

"There." Embry pointed to the corner of the laptop. I saw Selena's dark hair first and her small face appeared next. She looked so fragile, curled into a corner, by herself. Then the picture changed.

"No!" I shouted. "Bring it back."

"I can't do that." The tech guy shrugged. "It's rotating on its own."

I grabbed him by the collar and raised my throbbing fist. Embry pulled me off of him before I could strike. "At least we know she's safe and no one's hurt."

He dragged me to the side. "I have to go find her."

"No, stay here and let me do my job," he said with finality.

I waited.

Fifteen minutes later, the commissioner showed up with the fire department and more cops. Sixteen minutes later, more television stations set up shop around the store. They all chattered about the robbery and wanted to assure the public that everything was being taken care of.

Like hell it was…

Eighteen minutes later, the bomb squad showed up. That's when I almost lost it. You only called them if you suspected an explosive. I did throw up after that. I stay hunched over a bush and expelled the contents of my stomach until I couldn't breathe. My nerves were just too much.

"We're going to get her," Embry guaranteed me.

"I hope for your sake, you're right. If not, I'll just kill everyone here," I said nonchalantly. He knew I meant it.

"How does Selena get involved in all these things?" He chuckled, a light-hearted attempt to lift the mood.

I didn't answer him and walked away.

I went unnoticed by the cops who were shuffling around, trying to look like they were doing something. I stayed out of there way for the most part.

From the video feed, more answers came. There were four robbers. They wore masks at first, but pulled them off as the time passed. Embry informed me that this was indeed a random hostage situation. The group was a bunch of rowdy guys who had held up large stores like this all over the state. They hadn't been caught yet. What made me more anxious was the fact that two of them were ex-military. They had names and faces, but I didn't care. All their blood would be the same once I was through with them.

Twenty minutes later, finally, something happened.

"Boss, we have a phone call!" someone from a truck shouted.

There was a lot of movement and people started to pull on headsets. I ran over to Embry, almost knocking him down.

He held a phone in his hand and put it against his ear. I leaned in so I could hear.

"This is Embry Call. I'm in charge of this situation."

I rolled my eyes at his fake masculine authority.

"I need to speak with the commissioner." The voice was cold.

Everyone was listening. The commissioner shook his head.

"He's not here," Embry replied. "It's just me and my team."

"Alright, then. I have some demands."

"Name them."

"Five million dollars in cash and a plane at the airport, ready for us in an hour."

"I can't do that. Who am I talking to?" Embry asked.

"That's none of your concern. Give me what I want or someone will die every ten minutes. You have until midnight."

"We can't give you any of that. We don't have the resources."

"You have until midnight." The voice repeated.

Tired of the game, I snatched the phone from Embry. "Listen to me, you little shit. I don't care who you are…"

I didn't get to finish my sentence.

"We'll call you back in five." Embry ended the call. "What the hell was that?"

"I had my own demands," I grunted.

"You could have endangered them in there." He was livid and his face was turning an odd shade of purple. "This is my job. We do as I say."

"If you would do your job, then I would have my wife with me."

"Maybe you should keep a tighter hold on her then…" he snapped.

I let my fist fly and punched him in the mouth. I was so angry, I almost didn't feel it. Almost. He had sharp teeth that dug into my skin, so it hurt like hell, but was worth it.

I was pulled away and smashed against the police car. "You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer…"

"No!" Embry shouted. "Let him go."

The pressure on my arms was let up. I shook them off.

"Bieber, that was your last chance. Let me handle this." He pointed at me, wiping the blood from his lip. He didn't seem fazed at all. My knuckles had gashes on them, but I didn't want to wrap them up.

So I was standing outside of a grocery store that was being held up by gunmen with my wife inside. Both hands had some form of injury to them and my stomach was in knots. Tonight was not a good night.

I checked my watch as the minutes slid by. The commissioner was not happy and started yelling at everyone to move fast or "be diligent about the citizens' lives". I didn't see his attitude getting much done. Embry was more docile in his approach, but nothing was working.

Just as the robbers promised, ten minutes later, there was a single gunshot. It echoed through the parking lot like a canon and made everyone duck for cover. We crouched behind cars and ran behind trees. When it was safe, everyone started to reemerge.

"What was that?" I asked Embry, already knowing the answer.

"I don't think they're playing around." His voice was shaky.

The video hadn't shown who was shot or if anyone was injured, so I didn't know if Selena was all right.

The phone rang again. People started to hastily move so they could hear it from their headsets and speakerphones.

Embry picked up. I didn't bother moving away from him.

He didn't speak, just listened and nodded his head before hanging up a couple of seconds later.

"They want ten million now," he told me.

"Then pay them and get them the fucking plane," I said angrily.

"We don't have those resources. We have to negotiate with them."

"I'll give to them. I don't care!"

"No. We can't give in to their demands. Then they win."

"Or someone dies?"

He didn't answer me.

I spun around on my heel and took off towards the oppositeend of the parking lot. Emmett and Jasper were leaning against the big Hummer that they brought.

"Move," I commanded. "I'm doing this myself."

I opened the trunk and lifted the carpet. Underneath was a storage compartment that always stayed concealed. Inside was the stash of weaponry.

I pulled out a bulletproof Kevlar vest and strapped it to my chest.

"You can't do this, Justin," Emmett protested.

"Don't tell me what I can't do." I harshly started to test the chambers of guns, peeking inside to see if they were all loaded. "If this was Rosalie, you would have already been inside."

"There are people in there that might get hurt. You have to wait," Jasper said.

"Selena's in there. Are you just going to let her sit? That's your sorella. Family first, brother. You're either with me or not. I don't need you two."

They didn't think about it for a second before strapping on vests of their own.

"I just want to go on record as stating that this is going to get us all killed." Emmett shook his head.

"Your comment has been added to the 'I don't give a fuck' pile," I muttered. "Give me five minutes to get Selena out then you guys can come in and do the rest."

"Shoot low," Jasper whispered. "We can't afford to hit anyone and we don't want to kill these robbers."

"I want to kill them," I argued.

"No, Justin. Just focus on getting Selena to safety." Emmett clapped my shoulder. "You've got five minutes before we head in, guns a-blazin'."

"Gotcha."

The gun in my hand was a M16A2 Rifle. It was sturdy and menacing. The accuracy was almost perfect, and it was easy to carry. The strap sat across my chest and the cartridge was full. I was ready to do some damage.

I walked calmly up towards the grocery store. I seemed to go unnoticed until I hit the police blockade. Then there was movement.

"Drop your weapon!"

"Put the gun on the ground, hands behind your head!"

"You have five seconds to give it up!"

I just stood there, my patience running thinner.

"Justin, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Embry stalked up to me with anger in his face.

"Going to get my wife."

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times as he took in my appearance. "Where did you get a gun like that?"

"I'm not dignifying that with a response. I know you read the paper. I'm about to take over the largest weapons manufacturing plant in the world. If I want guns, I get guns. No, this doesn't have a permit. You can lock me up when I'm finished."

I moved passed him, getting closer to the entrance. He followed. "Justin, I can't let you do this. You're a civilian."

"I don't care. I have more experience than half your squad. You're all worthless. I'm going to stop paying my taxes because it's obviously not doing any good in training you fools."

"Since when do you pay taxes?"

"Hypothetically."

The grocery store was very close. I was almost there.

"Stop him!" I heard the commissioner yell.

The snipers on the roof pointed their guns at my body; I just kept walking.

"Stop him!"

"If you're going to shoot me, do it now." I stopped, waiting.

:

Embry didn't make the call, so I kept going.

"Justin, no."

"Get out of my way, Embry. I don't have time for this."

Fifty feet…

"Think about Selena. She might get hurt."

"She'll definitely get hurt if I leave it to you idiots."

Thirty feet…

"I'm going to have you arrested," he sputtered.

"Do it now or shut up."

Twenty feet…

"I'll have my men take you down."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "You don't have the balls. Oh, and if you hear gunshots, don't be alarmed. They're probably from me."

Ten feet…

I gave him one last chance to do something, but I knew he wouldn't. Like Embry said, he plays by the rules. I had shaken him up too much. He didn't know how to handle this situation. He would probably end up getting demoted, yet again, because of me. He would be lucky to be a desk clerk after this.

"Pussy!" I shouted on my way into the store. The sliding glass doors took their sweet time opening up.

It was eerily quiet. The soft, tingling music playing above created an atmosphere that didn't seem real. I felt like I had stepped into a grocery store from The Stepford Wives. Everything appeared perfect up front, but I knew dangers lurked in the back.

The good thing about stores like this was that they had mirrors in almost every crook of the store to prevent theft. There were big circular ones in the corners, small rectangular ones on the ceilings, long thin ones on the walls. They were everywhere. I could see everything.

I pinpointed my targets in the mirrors and made sure that they were far away from the last place I had seen Selena on the monitors outside. They were perusing the aisles with their guns drawn, scaring the hell out of anyone they walked passed. It looked like the hostages were being huddled into groups around the store. Made way to keep track of everyone.

I just stood there for a couple of seconds, surveying the area. Then I realized that I didn't have time for all this shit. I had to get in and get out. It would take far longer for me to seek them out. Why not bring my targets to me?

I went to the first cash register I saw and flipped the switch under the counter for the microphone.

I cleared my throat. "This is Justin Bieber. I'm not from any police department and I don't care to arrest anyone. I just need my wife."

I started to hear commotion.

"If you shoot me, I'll shoot back and be damned sure, I won't miss unless I want to," I warned. "Is there an Selena Bieber here?"

There wasn't a reply.

"Selena, I know you're somewhere. Please don't make me hunt you down. I'm in no mood for this tonight."

"I'm here, Justin!" she yelled, somewhere in the fruit section.

"Ah, well, I shall be over in a second," I said.

She was smart. By announcing herself, she just became valuable. Obviously, I was someone with the macabre attitude to put myself in danger for her. To them, she must be something special now.

"Hey, stop where you are!" a gunman shouted at me from the left. "Who are you?"

"Didn't you hear? I'm Justin Bieber and I'm here to get my wife."

We were standing in the front of the store, just staring each other down. My gun wasn't even raised. His face wasn't covered, and I could see that he wasn't much younger than me, but looked like a kid with his disheveled sandy hair and wide eyes.

"You're not supposed to be here," he said. "Take another step and I'll shoot."

"From your posture, I can tell that that you're a novice gun handler." I spoke coolly. "Have you ever shot a gun before, boy?"

He took his eyes off of me for one second and that's all I needed. Instead of wasting bullets, I decided to be more practical.

There was a nice display of vodka next to me with the bottles stacked up into a pyramid shape. I felt for whoever put it together. I started to pull the glass bottles down and just threw them in his direction.

He got hit a couple of times in the head and by the fifth bottle, the smell of alcohol was in my nose. His hold on the gun wasn't firm and his trigger finger slipped. Bullets started flying into the ceiling. I ducked and began crawling on the floor towards him. He wasn't even paying attention.

I tackled him to the ground and grabbed him by the neck. His clothes were soaked in spilled vodka. I slammed his head to the floor, placing my knee on his neck. "You made a big mistake."

He couldn't respond and started to choke something out.

You don't have time for this…

I took one last glass bottle and bashed it over his head. He limped to the side and blood started to pour from under his hair. I didn't think he was dead, but if he was, so be it.

I got off of the ground, gun in hand. I was now even more furious.

The store was bigger than I remember, and I had to slink behind corners and aisles to check if anyone was coming. I didn't hear or see anything, but that just made me more suspicious. Where had they gone?

The first group of people I came across was a mixture of about ten. They were all different ages and races, but looked scared out of their minds. They took in my gun and some started to cry.

"No, I'm not bad," I shushed them. "I'm here to get my wife. Where is the fruit area?"

None of them answered.

"Fruit, like oranges, pears, lemons and all that shit," I clarified.

Nothing.

"Is it to the right?" I asked a worker with an apron. He looked sick.

He didn't say anything.

"Selena always says that I don't always get to the healthy food because I stop at the snack aisle." I chuckled at the memory."So to the right or left?"

He pointed to the left with a shaky finger.

I nodded my thanks and began walking, crouched low to the ground. By the time I reached the frozen foods, I was over it all. I just wanted Selena home with me. I almost couldn't remember earlier in the night when we were just lying in bed. It seemed so long ago.

In the mirror in the corner, I could see another gunman. He was at the end of the aisle and had yet to notice me. His stance was firm. I guessed one of the experience ones.

I could just shoot him in the back and be done with it, but where was the honor in that?

I made sure to make a little noise as I stood up to bring attention to myself. He spun around, gun raised, and didn't bother talking. He just started shooting.

I took three in the chest, and they knocked the wind out of me. I stumbled backwards, shocked and stunned. Even though I was guarded by a vest, bullets still hurt like hell. They would leave bruises. Once I regained myself, I opened up the door to the frozen pizzas. The bullets collided with the glass, but didn't penetrate. Who would have thought that the glass doors protecting frozen pizzas would be bulletproof? I would have to tell Alec.

Once he had a millisecond to readjust, I took my chance. With one hand on my gun, I lifted it and precisely shot a bullet through his right eye. It flew out of the back of his skull and blood splattered the pristine white floor as he fell.

Simple kill.

I didn't have time to reveal in my glory. I was running out of time.

The grocery store was a foreign place for me. The only time I came in here was occasionally when Selena forced me and it wasn't like I was paying attention to where everything was. Now I wish I had.

The fruit section was tucked away behind a couple other aisles. I had a tough time finding it. There was, once again, another group of people huddled together.

"I'm looking for Selena Bieber," I whispered. "She's short, brown hair, brown eyes…"

"The hot pregnant chick?"a college looking guy asked.

My hand clutched around my gun.

You can't kill this boy…

"Yes," I ground out, "the hot pregnant chick."

"By the apples." He pointed.

I slid across the floor to stay out of sight of the gunman fifty feet away. He was checking the front, and left his valuable prize unguarded.

My knees began to hurt as I crawled.

Why were there so many fucking varieties of apples? I looked behind all the bins. I learned so much. Granny Smith were the green ones. Then they had yellow ones, which I had never seen before. And the red. So much red. Burgundy. Crimson. Cardinal. Rose. It was everywhere. Some with stems, some without. Some were from Washington or California or Texas or Pennsylvania. It was maddening.

Finally, I found her, behind the Red Delicious.

Selena was seated on the tilled floor, with her legs crossed, picking over an apple. I watched her for a second. She didn't look stressed or scared at all. She inspected the fruit in her hand and then sniffed it, taking a small bite. Some juice fell onto her shirt, and she scowled, throwing the apple aside.

Another group of fruit caught her eye. She reached and picked a green one, but from the bottom. The whole bushel tumbled silently. Selena covered herself as they fell over and pelted her. They rolled across the floor in all directions. It was honestly the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"I don't even like apples." She bit her lip and crossed her arms.

She looked okay. No noticeable bruises or scratches and thankfully, no bullet wounds. I almost didn't want to disturb her.

"If I save you, do you promise to make me hundreds of apple pies in the future?" I chuckled.

Selena whipped her head around and her eyes grew. She threw herself at me, her arms wrapping around my neck. "You're here. Finally!"

I held her close, sticking my nose into her neck to smell her scent. It was familiar and calming.

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into this time?" I asked.

"I swear; I'm a danger magnet." Selena shook her head. "I hate it."

I pulled back and cradled her face in my hand, bracing her to me as I kissed her lips. She tasted like…apples. I loved it. Her thanks for my rescue were poured into her movements as her tongue glided into my mouth. It felt like heaven. Selena's legs spread over my lap and my hand splayed on her lower back, thrusting her body closer.

Soon, I felt wetness on my face.

"Selena, are you okay? Are you hurt?" I asked worriedly.

"No." She sniffled and cried, "I'm fine."

"What is it?"

"I didn't think you would come to get me."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. I thought you were mad at me. I'm sorry I took your car." Her voice was thick with tears.

"Please stop being so silly, Selena. I don't give a fuck about the car. I just had to get you out."

"You're not mad?"

"Hell yes, I'm mad. You didn't pick up your phone, you've gotten yourself into a hostage situation, and you didn't take anyone with you." I seethed. "This is why you have bodyguards, who've been fired, by the way."

"I know. I'm so stupid." She held her head in her hands. "I thought I'd be okay."

"This is what happens when we get too complacent. We make mistakes." I hugged her. "But I came to get you."

She didn't stop crying.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs.

"I've been sitting here on the floor for over an hour, waiting for the police to show up. I'm hungry; I want a pizza or cheeseburger. I have to pee and I think I've cried myself into exhaustion."

I chuckled, "Let me just get you out of here, okay?"

She nodded, sadly smiling. "I love you, Justin. Thank you for coming to get me."

"Of course." I kissed her again. "Is the baby all right?" I placed my hand on her small, rounded stomach.

"Yeah. We're both good."

We stopped breathing when we heard a bushel of apples roll towards us. I looked up and saw the gunman behind a small farm cart with large wheels. It was another display type thing. He didn't see us yet. I pushed Selena under it, and then put my back against the far side of the cart.

I put my finger over my lips to tell Selena to be quiet. She looked so scared, but I knew it wasn't for her. It was for me.

I waited, barely breathing.

The gunman rounded the cart and pointed his gun at me. "There you are."

"You caught me." I didn't bother fighting. I didn't want bullets flying with Selena so close.

"You were stupid, coming in here."

"You were stupid holding up a grocery store. Do you think you'll get out of here alive? Police are everywhere."

"I don't care." He took off his ski mask to reveal his face. He wasn't anything special, and I was sure his name was 'Mike' or 'Norman'. Something unimpressive like blue eyes held a certain sense of crazy to them that didn't make me feel comfortable. This man wasn't stable.

"I just came to get my wife. I can get you whatever you want if you just let her go," I negotiated.

"She's the brunette who was over here?" He looked around.

I nodded.

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know. I came to find her."

"I know who you are." He raised his gun onto his shoulder. "You're that Bieber guy. The mob guy."

"Yeah, that's me."

"You don't look so scary." He darkly laughed. "I've read the reports on you. You're supposed to be some heartless, insane killer."

"I've had my moments."

"Do you want to kill me now?"

"Very much so, but I won't. I'll let the police handle you. I just want my wife safe."

"Wife? Why would someone ever marry you?"

"Because she loves me," I told him. "And I love her."

"Really? You can love?"

"Only her."

"I'm sure your mother would be disappointed to hear that." He pointed the barrel of his gun towards my face. "You don't love your mother?"

"Of course I do. It's just a different kind. Do you love your mother?"

"No," he snapped and scowled.

"Just let my wife go."

"I can't do that."

"How about an exchange? I'll stay here and you let her walk free. I'm worth a hell of a lot more." I enticed his greedy nature.

He thought it over for a couple of seconds. His eyebrows raised. "That you are. The famous Justin Bieber under my thumb."

It all happened so quickly, I almost didn't even see it.

A small hand darted out from under the cart, fingers wrapped around a shiny switchblade. It slashed across the gunman's Achilles tendon and sliced through easily. Like butter. I saw blood and heard his screams as he fell to the floor, on his knees.

"Bowing in front of me as it should be." I shot him in the groin and he flew backwards, into another display of apples with yelps of pain.

I took Selena's hand and dragged her out from under the cart. She slid easily across the tiles and started to run.

"Don't stop," I told her. "Get outside until you see the police."

"What about you?"

"Just go, Selena." I pushed her forward. She was almost to the entrance.

I saw the last gunman, gun ready, from the other side of the store.

I took position to shoot, but didn't need to. The doors of the store opened and Emmett and Jasper came barreling in followed by a throng of police who fanned out like the cavalry. They were shouting and giving orders.

I went outside and finally felt like I could breathe. Selena was free. I could care less about what was going on inside or who was getting arrested.

I started looking through the crowds to see if I could find her. Her eyes locked with mine and were pleading as she was being pulled by a medic towards an ambulance.

I ran towards them. "Let her go!" I said.

"She needs to be checked over. She could be hurt," he informed me.

"I have my own doctors for that." I wrapped an arm around her and he loosened his grasp.

"It's protocol. I have to check all the hostages. They can't leave until I give the order."

"Fuck you and your orders."

"Justin, stop." Embry was there to push me back. "He's just doing his job. Everything's fine."

"I'm taking her home."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Selena scowled at him.

"It's nice to see you too," he replied hurriedly. "You two can't leave. I need statements."

"Call me in the morning to set up a meeting. I need to get her home." I started to make my way towards the cars. "I've already broken enough rules tonight. Add another one."

"Oh my God, Justin!" Selena squeaked. "You're shot."

"What?"

"You've been shot." She pointed to my left shoulder. My shirt was ripped open and a chunk of skin was missing. It looked through-and-through.

"Seems that way." I hadn't even felt it.

Selena's fingers began taking apart my vest and she pulled it from my body. "You could have been killed." She was not happy.

"Can I just get you home before we start this?"

"No, we're doing this right now." She stomped over the medic's truck, and he shouted at her the entire time she was digging through his supplies. She came back with a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"First of all, why didn't you take Alec with you?" I asked her harshly.

"Because I didn't want to. I already have bodyguards. I don't need a babysitter."

"Obviously you do. You can't even go grocery shopping without getting in trouble."

She pulled off my shirt over my head. I felt the twinge of pain as I lifted my arms. "I went because we needed food and I even told you so it's not like I snuck out."

"I don't care. You can't just leave your phone in the car and expect me to swoop in every time to save you."

"They took our phones anyway!" She squirted some of the alcohol on my shoulder haphazardly.

It stung like fire. "Jesus Christ, Selena."

"That's what you get." She did it again. It stung worse.

"You can't be mad at me for helping you."

"I'm not. I'm grateful, but you got mad at me first."

"You're damned right. I'm furious. You put yourself in danger."

"It's wasn't like I planned it." She squirted me.

"Okay, stop it." I grabbed the bottle from her, throwing it on the ground. "I was fucking worried about you. I have the right to be mad."

She sighed, "I know and I'm sorry, but you're stressing me out. I can't even go to the grocery store anymore without being followed."

"You can't keep doing stupid things like this. Next time, we won't be so lucky." I pulled her close to me. "This is your life now. I warned you."

She nodded into my chest.

"Mr. Bieber, are you and the Mrs. fighting?" A reported pointed a camera in my face.

"No interviews," I said sternly and shoved him away. I took Selena's hand and pulled her towards Emmett's Hummer.

"What was it like in there, Mrs. Bieber? How many were lost?" someone else asked.

"No interviews." Alec was suddenly at my side, helping us guide our way through the attacking cameras.

"Take Selena home," I told him.

He nodded. "I already called the doctor. He's waiting for us."

"Good. And make sure he checks everything. If she's hurt I want to know."

He led her the rest of the way.

I turned around the face the reporters. "Call my secretary tomorrow. I'll set up a press conference in the morning. You can all ask questions then."

"How is the Mrs.? Is she allright?"

"I said tomorrow. And she's fine." I walked towards the white Mercedes I drove here.

"What about the rumors that Mrs. Bieber is pregnant? There have been pictures of you two leaving the doctor's office and she's starting to show. What do you have to say?"

We hadn't told anyone formally, but I knew we would have to make an announcement at some point. The press was hungry for it.

"No comment. No interviews." I got into the car. Their lights were still flashing. This was going to make national news probably.

I drove off and didn't even bother slowing down because of all the police as I headed in the direction of home, thankful that my wife was safe.

SELENA POV

"Run without a destination, and you'll finally see, what freedom can be. "-Anonymous

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer.

I sat next to Justin as we rode towards O'Hare airport in the back of the silver Aston Martin. William was driving and kept his eyes up front. I was more than ready for a couple weeks away. Especially after the grocery store debacle.

I was still a little shaken, but thankfully okay. Justin was going crazy, making sure that I was thoroughly checked by a private doctor when we got home, who assured me that I was physically fine. I wasn't even worried about myself at this point. I just wanted to make sure the baby wasn't harmed. He said that all was well. I had an ultrasound and for the first time, got to see what was growing inside of me.

It wasn't as life-changing as I thought it would be. I couldn't even detect the small bean-like figure on the screen. Justin said he could. I squinted my hardest, but still didn't see. I cried a little, though. Everything was fine.

When the doctor suggested that I might have psychological trauma from the hostage ordeal and needed to see a therapist, I had to stop myself from laughing in his face. I had seen Justin do far worse with a gun in his hand than what I had just been through. A little grocery store holdup was nothing in comparison. Justin wanted to cancel the trip because he was overly worried. I begged him not to. I really did want to go on some sort of honeymoon and now seemed as good a time as any to leave, although we did wait a couple more days.

Justin held a press conference to answer questions that reporters had on his involvement in the robbery. Of course, we had to talk to the police first and gave his statements. He didn't lie about anything. Justin stated exactly what he had done and why. Only one of the gunmen had been killed from his hand, but he claimed self defense and the videos showed that. He would probably have to testify at their trials later.

He made national news for his heroic efforts. I thought there would be more of a backlash for him walking into a grocery store with a semiautomatic weapon, but Justin was praised instead of criticized. He did receive a fine, though, for having a gun without a permit. He hated the attention. I don't even think we were supposed to leave the country right now, but that didn't stop him.

I looked over to my husband, who was reading this morning's paper. He had on his glasses and looked fairly calm. Over the weekend, the doctor had nursed his bullet wound, and Justin promised me that it was just was so strong, but his overconfidence in dangerous situations made me agonize at an unhealthy level. He wouldn't even let me look at the hole in his bicep, saying that I shouldn't worry over it.

We needed this vacation before real life overwhelmed us.

Everyone was coming, but Justin guaranteed me that we would have our alone time for a couple of days. One week in Spain turned into two, just because Justin said so. I wasn't complaining. I didn't know what he said to my boss, but he let me go.

"Sei eccitato per la vacanza?" I asked him if he was excited for our vacation.

"Certo. Ho bisogno di uno," he replied, telling me that he certainly needed one. "We will have fun. I promise."

"Should you be exerting yourself after your…injury?" I pointed to his shoulder, which was still wrapped in gauze, under his shirt.

He ground his teeth together, folding the paper. "I'm not dead, Selena."

"But you could be."

"So could you. It's just a minor scratch."

"You were shot," I reminded him.

"I'm fine. I don't know how many times I have to say that." He leaned across the seat, bringing his face close to my ear. "You shouldn't worry about me so much."

"I can't help it. It's my job."

"You'll give yourself an ulcer, not to mention added stress for the baby."

"I know."

"I got shot. I lived. We move on, okay?"

I nodded.

"Lo non vado da nessuna parte, ilmioamore,"he said, low and raspy.

His words made me blush.

"Just don't die on me."

"I promise. Are you alright?"

I nodded.

"Good." He kissed my temple before sitting back up again. "William, how much longer until we reach the airport?"

"A good fifteen minutes, sir. The traffic is atrocious."

"I hate this," he whispered harshly.

One of the conditions that Justin had to abide by when we came back to the States was that he couldn't fly private internationally. It irked him to no end.

"This is just their stupid way of keeping track of me. I don't like it, and I won't stand for it," he mumbled.

"It's not that bad, Justin. It's not like we're getting stuffed into the bottom of the plane with the dogs."

"I haven't flown on a public plane in…ever. This is ridiculous and highly embarrassing."

I rolled my eyes. "It's a small price to pay so that we could come home."

"I suppose." He looked out of the window at the slow moving traffic.

"It's the destination, not the journey," I said. "My grandmother always told me that."

"Nicola told me the opposite. It's always the journey; the destination doesn't matter. You learn more from the voyage."

"That's wrong," I replied matter-of-factually.

"Oh, really?" He chuckled. "Do you have evidence to the contrary?"

"My Grandma Swan was always right. She lived to be one-hundred and three, you know. She had wisdom."

"And Nicola didn't?"

"He had a different kind."

"You're argument isn't very sound, Selena."

"It doesn't have to be." I shrugged. "I'm your wife. You have to agree with me."

William snickered up front. Justin glared at him.

"I'm not used to losing arguments," he said. "You know that better than anyone."

"I'm just kidding." I shoved him. "Gosh, you're so uptight all the time."

"I have to be nowadays. My wife seems to think it's appropriate to go places without her cellphone, which makes it impossible for her to call me if she's say…in a hostage situation."

The mood turned somber fairly quickly. He was still pissed. On some level, I realized that I was the one who put him in harm. I should have just shot him myself. If I wouldn't have gone grocery shopping, none of this would have happened.

"Are we going to be brining this up for the rest of our lives?" I asked.

"Until I feel like you've learned your lesson, yes." He looked out of the window again.

"I'm not your daughter. You don't have to talk to me like that."

"Well then don't do things that warrant punishment."

The drive was silent after that.

We pulled up the unloading station in front of the airport sometime later. I thought I went to sleep, so I couldn't be sure how much time had passed. William turned off the engine, and Justin exited before he could even come to the door.

My door was ripped open and I was pulled out of the car rather roughly. "I have Mrs. Bieber. Make sure we have a clear path," the burly man said into his phone while holding onto me tightly.

I sighed in frustration.

The old bodyguards who I had become so accustomed to were replaced by large sentinels that were instructed to never leave my side. All forms of secrecy were thrown out of the window. People surely knew I was someone important now because of my entourage.

My personal guard was named Amun. He was an ex Israeli Mossad agent who had to be discharged after a stray bullet caused him some knee problems a couple of years ago. He was perfectly intimidating and scary, but just not fit enough to stay in the army. He could do his job, though.

He was massive, bigger than Emmett, with darkly tanned skin and short black hair. I had met him yesterday when Justin forced him upon me and basically said that he was my new best friend. Along with four other men with similar backgrounds and looks, our security detail was tight. No one was ever going to harm me again.

I glared at Justin.

"You brought this on yourself," he said to me, carrying the one small bag he was bringing as his carry-on.

"Why doesn't Rose have to have one? Or Alice?" I pointed behind us as they got out of their own cars.

"Because we're not stupid, Selena," Alice replied, and put on her gigantic sunglasses. "You could have been killed."

"I forgot my cellphone…once!" I wiggled free from Amun's grasp, but he didn't step back.

"I won't have you getting hurt again." Justin took over, guiding me forward with his hand.

We didn't have any luggage as we walked through the airport. Justin didn't trust public transportation with his "valuables", so our things were all shipped yesterday. They should be in Spain when we arrived.

People pointed and stared as the eight of us traveled in our caravan, along with the giant bodyguards that we'd brought. Emmett made me feel a little better when he said that they just weren't for me. Justin was beefing up security in every aspect of his life. We all looked like bums, though. There was no way in hell I was making a ten hour flight in a dress. I think everyone else thought the same way. Justin was actually wearing jeans. I almost never saw that.

We didn't have to wait in line for security, and I was tempted to ask why not, but felt it best to just stay quiet. In no time at all, we were through our gate and seated in our seats on the plane. It all happened very quickly and without any barriers.

The whole business-class cabin was ours. We had enough people for it. We were in neat rows and had several TVs around along with those inserted into our seats. I could see the cockpit up front. It was a very comfortable and spacious area.

Amun kept an eye on me from the corner while Justin sat to my left in his pod-looking, sleeper thing. I had never flown like this before. I found it strange. We even had a different entrance from everyone else. I chalked this up to Justin's inability to actually socialize. He would never make a long trip seated next to someone he didn't know.

Alice was to my right, chatting on about rare Spanish art…I think. I wasn't paying attention. I was trying to get relaxed.

"Is there anything you need?" A stewardess was at my side in an instant with a bright smile and shiny blonde hair, cut in a bob.

"Yes, I was wondering how people got comfortable in these things." I shuffled my body around in the pod. I must have looked like a fool.

"You have it in the sleeping setting, Mrs. Bieber." She pushed a button, and I started to lift into a seating position.

"Oh," I sighed in amazement, feeling the plush leather under my fingers, "This is much better."

"Anything else?"

"No, not right now. Thank you, though."

"Okay, well my name is Jill and I'll be here if you need anything. Just ask."

"She said she didn't need your assistance. Move along." Amun was there to protect, shooing Jill in the opposite direction. "Actually I need to speak with the air marshal. Where is he?"

"I can't reveal that information." Jill clasped her hands in front of her. "Please take you seat."

"I'll find him myself." Amun walked through the aisle towards a different part of the cabin.

"Sir…" She chased after him.

"That man is crazy." I said to Justin. "Why him?"

"He's not afraid to kill people."

I sat back in my seat without another word.

"That was embarrassing for you." Emmett popped his head from around the seat behind me and got incredibly close to my face. "You could have just asked me how to work the chair."

"You could have offered your help."

"But it was so much more fun to watch you struggle." He laughed.

"That's not funny." I crossed my arms.

"Awww. Don't get mad. The baby's going to be born with frown lines." He stared at my stomach. "Does it feel weird?"

"Not right now," I said.

"Did you throw up?"

"I did when I woke up."

"Can you feel it?"

"No, not yet."

"It's so strange to see you with a bump. You're going to be so fat." He snickered.

There was a gasp from behind me. "Emmett Lorenzo Bieber! You can't say that," Rose barked. "Stop bothering her."

"I was just wondering what I was in for…"

"It's like you have no home training. You're embarrassing us."

"I am not." He sat back and began arguing. I tuned them out.

I looked to Justin who was breathing deeply through his nose. In. Out. In. Out.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Have I ever told you that I hate flying?" he replied. I detected a slight quiver in his voice.

"You fly all over the world," I scoffed.

"Yeah, in my plane with my pilots. I don't know those men in the cockpit."

"Or women!" Alice corrected.

"Yes, thank you, Alice," Justin said. "I don't know who's flying this thing or what kind of certifications they have."

Emmett popped his head in again. "One time, when we were in high school, we flew on a class trip to New York. Justin passed out before we even took off. They had to call Carlisle to come and get him. He couldn't go with us."

"You never told me that," I commented.

"Because I don't want my shortcomings known to my wife," Justin growled. "And for your information, Emmett, I had a bad feeling about that whole trip, which turned out to be right."

"The same plane we used crashed a couple weeks later. We weren't on it, but it was still kind of scary." Emmett sucked on his teeth as if he were bored. "I guess Eddie is right sometimes."

"Idioto." Justin mumbled under his breath. "I still don't like flying."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." I reached across the aisle and took his hand.

"Maybe you just need to get comfortable." Alec took of his shoes and put his sock-clad feet on Justin's armrest.

Justin pushed them away. "I'm fine, thank you. Once we're in the air, I'll just sleep."

"Do you remember that time we flew into a storm going to Vancouver?" Jasper said to Emmett. "Justin almost shit in his pants."

"Oh, yeah." Emmett laughed. "That was funny."

"Leave him alone." Alice sat up in her seat. "I'm scared too, Justin."

"I'm not scared! I just don't like it. Airplanes are just gross. Not only are there strange people, who might have some kind of infection, but there are airborne parasites. You don't know what kind of hands areused to cook the food or how often they change the air filters. It's disgusting."

That shut everyone up. He was right.

"What is taking so long?" Justin craned his neck into the aisle.

"They're probably still boarding."

"We were supposed to leave fifteen minutes ago. Something must be wrong." He checked his watch.

"I'm sure it's fine."

Justin stood up and un-tucked his white button-down shirt. He pulled out a gun from behind his back and opened the overhead compartment. He placed it in his bag.

"You can't have that on a plane, Justin!" I whispered. "Are you crazy?"

"How else am I supposed to protect myself?" he said innocently.

"That's why we have bodyguards."

"Yeah, right," he sneered.

"I can't believe you brought a gun on board." I sunk into my seat, embarrassed and ashamed.

"It's not like I'm going to use it." Justin sat back down.

"You could get arrested."

"It's okay, Selena. Carlisle owns part of this airline. We pay to have certain privileges," Jasper said from in front of me.

"The FFA might have something to say about it."

"They can suck my dick," Justin replied, taking out his medicine. He had four different bottles of pills, from which he gathered several in his palm. He swallowed them easily and then shivered as they went down.

"This is going to be some trip." I shook my head.

Jill began to walk up the aisle quickly in preparation for takeoff. Justin stopped her.

"Two things. One, I'm expecting a call in a couple hours."

"Yes, sir. We can receive it from the ground and I'll put you through when necessary."

"Thank you. Two, once we're in the air, I need a basil martini," he said.

"A…basil martini, sir?" she responded, clearly confused.

Justin was already looking frustrated and snapped his mouth shut. He was about to rant.

I interrupted by tapping her on the arm, "Vodka, Vermouth, a dash of balsamic vinegar, and four crushed basil leaves. No ice. Absolutely no ice. He hates ice," I stressed.

She looked at me and nodded. "Shall I place it in the cooler?"

"Yes, and make sure the basil is crushed, not chopped. Just small flakes."

"Would everyone like one?" Jill asked us.

"No, that sounds gross." Jasper trembled in disgust.

"The basil calms his nerves," I said to her. "The balsamic vinegar puts him to sleep. It's strange, but it works."

"Oh, that makes sense." She smiled. "Thanks for the tip." She scurried off.

"I miss being a bartender. You have to tell people…calmly what you want." I bit my lip, waiting for his response.

"Well, thank you for that." He sighed. "I was about to have her fired."

"Not everyone knows what a basil martini is. And you shouldn't even be drinking with your medication."

"Sometimes, little things like that escape me," he admitted.

"That's why you have me. I'm truly your better half."

Justin looked at me as realization spread across his face. "I never thought of it like that. Interesting."

"That's what a marriage is for." I leaned back in my seat.

Takeoff was a couple of minutes later. Justin had a hard time with that, but tried not to show it. He was brought his drink and started to doze off soon after. An hour later, the sun was going down and everyone had sunk into the pods to sleep.

Unfortunately, I didn't have that pleasure. I had to get up for the bathroom too frequently. It was torture. I was warned that pregnancy might make you pee more, but I always thought that was in a couple of months when I was bigger. Rose told me that the prenatal vitamins also add to the added urination.

Every time I got up to go, Amun was there to baby me along.

"Don't you ever sleep?" I asked him on my most recent trip to the fairly large bathroom up front.

"No, ma'am. Never," he answered. I think he was joking. He almost pushed me back into my seat. "Make sure to buckle up."

"Last time I checked, I left my father back in Forks," I snapped unintentionally.

He grunted in reply before going back to his seat.

This was my fault, but it was going to get old pretty quickly. I didn't think Justin would ever let me out of the house alone again.

Finally, I was able to sleep and what a good sleep it was. I don't think I even came up for air and I wasn't quite sure how long I stayed in slumber, but it must have been a good couple of hours. I was putting this pod thing on my wish list for Christmas. It was magical.

I woke up with a full bladder, but well rested. The cabin was dark as I rushed to the bathroom. When I came back out, Amun was there.

"Should I invite you into the room when I give birth?" I commented.

"I'm not sure Mr. Bieber would allow that, but I will be right outside. Screams don't scare me." He smirked.

I plopped back down in my seat.

Everyone else was still sleeping and looked rather peaceful. I was far too excited to rest again. I was going to Spain! I had never really been anywhere before besides my recent, short trip to Italy and of course Brazil. Justin said that Spain was his favorite European country so I was excited to see what it had to offer. Plus, it was my mock-honeymoon. That brought about a whole new wave of exhilaration.

I stole one of Alice's gossip magazines and busied myself with its contents for awhile. I then switched to playing one of Jasper's Sudoku puzzles. He was a math genius and could complete even the hardest of problems in minutes. I—could not.

Jill rushed over to me. "Mrs. Bieber, can I get you anything? You slept through dinner."

"I am actually hungry." The thought of food made my stomach suddenly rumble. "I'll just have whatever you served."

"You'll be having braised chicken, a large salad, along with some roasted vegetables. Mr. Bieber specified that you were to have the healthy meal."

"Of course he did," I exhaled. "That's fine."

"Okay. Do you think Mr. Bieber would be hungry?"

"Not right now."

"Also, his call came in about an hour ago. We got disconnected, but they're about to call again. Shall I wake him up?"

"No, I'll do it."

"It's not problem, Mrs. Bieber." She reached her hand out towards Justin.

"No!" I said, but she didn't pull back and it was too late.

Big mistake.

Even in his slumber, he was a lethal man. Jill made contact with his shoulder and Justin sprung into action. His hand snapped up and grasped her around the neck. He pulled her down so that her face was on his lap and his fingers dug into her flesh.

"Justin, no!" I jumped out of my seat and ran across the aisle.

Jill whimpered in pain as he grabbed harder. He was muttering something I couldn't hear and looked possessed. Her arm was twisted in an awkward way that was clearly causing massive amounts of pain. It would only be a matter of seconds until I heard the pop of her shoulder.

"Please, don't do this…"

I started to pull on his arm, and with my touch, he easily relinquished his hold. Justin took a breath like he had been submerged under water for hours. Jill was on the floor, a heaping mess of sobs and gasps.

"Justin, it's okay. It was just the stewardess." I cupped his face in my hands, feeling a day's worth of stubble under my palms.

"What the fuck…" He swiveled his head around in confusion.

"She wasn't trying to hurt you, I swear."

He calmed down almost instantly. He blinked a couple of times and that was it. "I don't like being touched, let alone when I'm sleeping."

"I know, I know. I tried to stop her."

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Justin actually looked somewhat remorseful.

"It's okay." I hugged him close to me, and he hugged me back. It was a very intimate moment amongst the chaos that had just erupted in our cabin.

Jasper and Emmett had woken up from the noise. They were trying to compose Jill. Amun, who had some sort of medical training, was checking her over. She just wept into Jasper's shirt and wouldn't let go. He ended up carrying her down the aisle to her station.

"That was badass." Emmett huffed, taking his seat again. "I thought I was dreaming."

"I didn't mean to hurt her," Justin said again.

"I know. She'll be fine," I assured him. "Do you want me to sit with you?"

He leaned back in the seat, angry and aggravated. "I need another martini."

Since Jill was the only stewardess in our cabin and was currently indisposed of, I took it upon myself to get the drink. She had made a lot of it and just kept the shaker in the small cooler up front. I found a glass and poured him a liberal amount.

"Hey, Selena, when you have a chance, can you get me another pillow?" Jasper re-took his seat.

"She's not your fucking maid," Justin snarled. "Get it yourself."

"Alright, alright." Jasper held his hands up in surrender.

I brought Justin his drink.

"Thank you," he said, taking it from me. He gulped it down. "Where is she? Is she alright? What's her name?"

"Jill." I answered. "I think she's okay."

"Why did she have to do that?"

"She was trying to tell you that your phone call came in."

"What?" His head whipped around. "And she didn't wake me?"

"Justin, she tried." I rolled my eyes. "You almost killed her, or did you forget that?"

"Oh, yeah." His brow furrowed. "I'll just write her a check or something."

"And apologize," I scolded.

Justin whined, "Selena, it was her fault. And I believe I did hear you warn her not to."

"That still doesn't make up for the fact that you strangled our poor stewardess. She could be traumatized."

Jill reappeared with a tear stained face and shaking limbs. Her hair was an absolute mess. "I'm…I'm sorry…I didn't mean…."

Justin just looked at her, his eyes a mixture of pity and annoyance. "That's quite alright."

"They're sending someone else up so that I can take a little break." She smiled sadly, clutching her throat. Deep bruise marks were already starting to appear.

I nudged him. Justin seemed to get the message. "Oh, um…well, thank you for helping us. It was rude of you to wake me up, but I didn't mean to act so irrationally."

"That's okay. It's no big deal." She shook her head. "I'm going to rest now. If you need anything, they'll have another stewardess up in a second."

"Thanks, Jill." Alice patted her on the back.

"You're a trooper." Emmett slow clapped as she made her exit.

I glared at Justin who was looking pleased with his "apology".

"You didn't say you were sorry."

"I did," Justin argued, "and I am."

That was that.

The rest of the trip ride actually seemed more relaxed. I never saw Jill again. I didn't think I would. I think our tranquility had something to do with the fact that we were nearing our destination, and Justin had a few glasses of alcohol in him, which always loosened his tenseness. None of us really went back to sleep.

Alice and I watched a couple of movies. Justin disappeared for about an hour to tend to his mystery call. He came back with a smile, but wouldn't tell me why. Emmett, Jasper, and Alec played several rowdy rounds of poker, which ended in heated debate. Jane and Rose kept to themselves most of the way there.

"Ladies and gentleman, if you could take your seats, we are making our descent into Barcelona," the captain said over the speaker. "The current temperature is a cool seventy. We will be landing shortly."

I was getting really excited. I leaned over Justin to look out of the window, thinking I might be able to see something, but we were still in the clouds.

"Selena, you have to put your seatbelt on," Justin told me worriedly. "Sixty percent of airplane crashes occur during takeoff or landing." He actually picked me up and fastened the belt across my stomach.

"I could've done that."

"And argued with me the whole time. It was just easier to do it myself." He smirked, but I wasn't swayed. I was still kind of mad at him for almost killing Jill. He acted like it didn't happen.

Half an hour later, the plane had landed and we were free to leave our seats. We got through customs, getting our passports checked and all the regulatory papers signed.

The May air was perfect; not too hot, but certainly not cold. The sky felt cleaner, the sun shone brighter, and my eyes were opened to a whole new world. We were just in the airport!

"What do we do first?" I asked as Justin held my hand. We were walking briskly, and I could feel Amun nearly on my ass.

"First, you need rest."

"I've had rest. I want to go do something."

"Once we get to the villa, you're taking a long nap. You need to take it easy, especially after this weekend. You're still not recuperated."

"The doctor said I was fine."

"I know what's best. Just trust me."

"Then can we go out later?"

"Yes, Selena," he chuckled, "I promise."

We all continued to walk and I caught snippets of everyone's conversations. They seemed to be just as excited as I was. This was our first family vacation since…Well, in a long time.

"Those are our cars." Justin pointed across the street where five impressive-looking, black vehicles waited. Drivers were there to hold our doors.

"They look nice," I said. I had never really been into cars that much.

Alice rushed past us towards. "Oh, Justin got us Maybachs!"

"What's a Maybach?" I asked, looking up him.

He shook his head, ashamed in me. "Selena, your husband imports international cars and you don't know what a Maybach is?"

"Sorry, no," I said, even though I wasn't.

"It's a beautifully sculpted piece of machinery." We reached the car, and he ran his hands over the smooth, black metal."The only good thing to come out of Germany since the printing press."

"Okay…" I shrugged to myself.

Amun came running up from behind us, hauling the medium sized dog-carrier. Francis growled from inside, clearly not liking the jerking movements.

"I still don't see why we had to bring him." Justin rolled his eyes.

"Alec begged me," I said, reaching out to unlock the crate when Amun put the carrier down. Francis wobbled out, almost as if he was drunk, and his fat legs crossed in front of each other as he tried to walk.

Francis was an obedient dog, and a little afraid of Justin, I think. So he would never run away from us and rarely used a leash. He went pee in a small patch of grass near us and looked very proud of himself while doing so. He must have recognized the change of location because he started to explore when he was done.

Justin ran over and lifted him up. "It's time to go, dog."

I scooted into the backseat and was surprised at how spacious it was. It certainly didn't look this big from the outside. It was roomy and the seats leaned at an angle that made me want to fall asleep again, but I couldn't. I had to stay awake and see the landscape that was passing by as we drove. Francis sat inbetween us, whipping his head back and forth, enjoying the ride.

"I can take you to all these places." Justin pointed out the window to the city. "I spent a year here, studying."

"Did you even go to school in the States? It seems like you were always out of the country for something or other when you were young."

"I didn't like grade schools in Chicago and detested Dartmouth with a passion."

"No one understood you?" I guessed.

"Precisely." He humorlessly laughed, probably making a joke in his head about something I wouldn't understand.

I looked back out of the window. I was overwhelmed. Barcelona seemed like a lively city, but the best part about it was the ocean. It was so close and so blue, but not the kind I was used to seeing in Forks or even Brazil. This blue looked to be glowing in the sun.

Francis climbed onto Justin so that he could see better out of the larger-than-normal windows that the Maybach provided. Those two were quite the pair. Justin would treat Francis like dirt most of the time, but the dog didn't mind. He loved Justin unconditionally. I think the same could be said the other way around.

The driver weaved through the city. Amun, up front, kept telling him to slow down in Spanish, but I didn't mind the speed as we climbed the hills of Barcelona. I couldn't see much on the trip to our house, though I was already enthralled by the city. It was breathtaking and had a different vibe to it from any other place I had visited. It was bohemian and chic, with a hint of new world neurosis that we were all used to. But the history was everywhere; the streets, churches, buildings, fountains. It was all so old, but I was looking at it through new eyes.

Justin chuckled and I looked at him. "What?"

"Nothing." He shook his head, petting Francis behind the ears.

"No, tell me."

"You just look…so happy." His finger traced over the curve of my lips, memorizing my smile.

"I am happy."

He leaned in close. "I like to see you happy and I hope you have a wonderful time."

"Thank you for bringing me." I could feel my cheeks spread wider.

"Seeing you joyful, makes me feel good." He kissed the corner of my mouth, whispering, "Questo è quelloche vivo per, Selena."

This is what I live for.

The villa was…just massive. Too big for the eight of us, but I guessed we now had to accommodate not only an army of bodyguards, but wait staff as well.

"They're necessary, Selena," Justin told me. "You're not to lift a finger. Is that understood?"

I just nodded.

There were cooks, and cleaners, and even a dog groomer. They all had smiles and looked very pleased to be with us. I'm sure they were saying nasty things in their heads, though. Mr. Bieber, as he liked to be called by the staff, was already being sullen and snapped at a girl who spilled his water when bringing it to him. I would have to be extra nice to make up for his nastiness.

The house's floor plan was open so that all the rooms on the lower level basically stayed connected. High ceilings and grand staircases intimidated me as I looked up. All the floors were covered in expensive rugs or rustic Spanish tiles. There was a courtyard that was teeming with vegetation that I had never seen before. A soft fountain sprayed water, and the breeze flowed through easily so that it wasn't so hot.

The rooms were big and the beds, bigger. Justin had to lift me onto ours when I wanted to test it out. Francis couldn't even jump up. Balconies overlooked the city, and since we were on a large hill, it was easy to see Barcelona in its entirety below us. My nap was forgone because I was too damn excited.

"This is amazing." I sat down at the long table in the courtyard next to Rose. Small trays of tapas were laid out for our arrival along with tall pitchers of lemonade and sangria.

Alice was flipping through travel guides. Jane was giggling shamelessly at Alec and Francis, who were running around in the grass.

"Two weeks in the Spanish sun. I'm super excited and quite impressed with Justin at the moment," she agreed with me. "Your husband did well. He's thorough about your happiness, if nothing else."

"He does too much for me." I hung my head.

"What you can't give him in material things you can give him in sex." Alice leaned back in her chair, taking in the rays.

"That makes her sound like a whore," Jane piped in.

"She's having his baby. That's gift enough." Alec sat and took a sip of red liquid from Jane's glass. It clearly wasn't lemonade.

"He acts like I'm not." I put my hand over my stomach, which was growing every day. I had already changed out of my travel clothes and was in a light blue sundress. You couldn't see my belly since it was flowing around me.

Rose shook her head in disgust. "I just don't get that kid. He's happy for you one second and then he's complaining the next."

"Well, we're all happy," Jane assured me.

"He is so happy," Alec argued for his brother. "Justin's just confused. He's never been through this before."

"And Selena has?" Rose snapped.

Alec and I looked at each other, a silent conversation about Elizabeth playing between us. They all knew about what I went through, but sometimes could be insensitive about the subject. I think they forgot. I would never forget.

Before I could say anything, Justin strode into the courtyard.

"My ears were burning. Who's talking about me?" he joked.

There was a chorus of fake responses. He just raised his eyebrows and sat next to me. "We leave in the morning."

"And where are we going?" I asked.

"To be alone." He grinned.

"But we just got here," Alice pouted. "We're all supposed to be together. This is a family vacation."

"First and foremost, this is a honeymoon," Justin corrected. "We'll be back, though. I just want to spend a couple of days away with my beautiful, blushing bride."

"Awwwww," Alec cooed.

"Shut up," I mumbled and placed my lips on Justin's.

It was late afternoon when we arrived, and as the sun started to go down, I wondered when I was supposed to sleep. I figured I needed rest at some point, but I wasn't really tired. Justin said that 'jet lag' was just a figment of our imagination, and we shouldn't buy into it. He told me to just sleep as I normally would.

That night, we had a traditional Spanish barbeque. A cook brought out a whole pig and roasted it over an open fire for a couple of hours. It was amazing. I didn't really know what all the dishes were, but I trusted Justin to steer me away from anything I shouldn't be eating.

"So, what is the real reason we're here?" Rose asked as we sat around the table outside, gorging ourselves on delicious cuisine.

"Fun," Justin replied, it sounding more like a question.

"It's never fun with you Justin." Jane giggled, only slightly tipsy from the red wine.

"I can have fun," he argued. "Tell 'em, Selena."

"He can have fun," I said dryly. Everyone started to laugh.

"We have business. That's all you need to know." Emmett kissed Rose gently. "Don't worry your pretty little head."

"Worrying is a part of the job description." Alice poked him with her fork. "We have to worry or we'll go crazy because we aren't worrying. We live a very stressful life being the wives of you three."

I nodded. I knew that better than anyone else.

"I just don't think you should." Jasper shrugged. "We know how to take care of ourselves and it's not like we always do dangerous things."

"Every time one of you go out for 'business' and the phone rings, I debate on whether I should get it or not. It could be the police or…the hospital." Rose looked genuinely conflicted. She loved Emmett, but didn't love what he did. I was similar.

"And I've seen enough cop shows to know what happens to men like you." Alice nodded. "It's scary."

"Hell, my father is a cop." Of course, everyone knew that already.

"You live completely unrealistic lives. How can you go into a grocery store and shoot the place, but walk away without consequences." Alice continued.

"I do have consequences to deal with. I just suffer in silence and take it like a man." Justin challenged.

"Still, it's scary. One day, you're luck is going to run out."

"And it's worse when you don't tell us anything." Rose took a sip of her wine.

I nodded vigorously. "That's physically painful."

I didn't think we had ever had this talk altogether before. They knew we didn't like it when they went off, but Jasper, Emmett, Justin, and Alec seemed to be taking our words to heart. They were listening to our lecture with interested ears and not scoffing like I thought they would.

"But it's the worst with Selena." Jane pointed to me. "I know it must be."

"Why?" Justin asked, concerned.

"Because you're such a fucking hothead," Rose scolded. "I can basically predict what Emmett's going to do and say when conflict arises in a sticky situation. He'll be safe. You, who knows? You could get into a fight with someone over a parking ticket and end up pulling out your gun. It scares her."

"And she broke down crying last week when you went off to talk to Magicavallo. She was terrified. I had to make her tea and we stayed up half the night." Alice's face fell in sympathy.

I hadn't told him that and could feel his eyes on me, wondering if it was true.

There was silence around the table for awhile. I felt Francis butting his head up against my leg, so I picked him up and held him close to me. I couldn't look at Justin.

Jasper cleared his throat. "Okay, enough with the heavy stuff. This is vacation. Let's play a game."

"Oh, a game," Alice cheered. "A sex game."

We all groaned. Alice was infamous for her sex games. She was nosy and wanted to know about everything we did under the sheets. Her "games" usually involved some form of embarrassing questioning, and everyone tried to outdo one another. Surprisingly, we were always very open about this kind of thing. No one was embarrassed.

Justin put his arm over the back of my chair, but didn't say anything about the conversation we just had. We wouldn't talk about it later, either. We would never talk about it. The subject of me worrying over him was a forbidden topic in our house.

"Okay, I'll start." Rose turned to us. "When was the first time each of you had sex? And no one can get mad about the answers. I was thirteen."

"Jesus," I breathed out, mostly to myself.

"Did you even enjoy it?" Alice's mouth dropped open in shock.

"I was a very sexual girl. I developed early." Rose had never made excuses for her sexual prowess and wasn't ashamed of it in the slightest. "He was my French teacher and I was a young freshman, finding my way. It was glorious."

"Slut," Justin said, not so quietly.

"My turn." Jasper sat up. "I was fifteen. We had a project to do for anatomy class." He waggled his eyebrows.

Jane spoke next, "I was fifteen, too. My brother's best friend."

"We all know shorty over here hasn't done anything." Emmett ruffled Alec's hair. "His dick is going to dry up and shrivel off."

"I'm waiting." Alec punched him, doing little damage.

Jane blushed; I could see it, even though it was dark outside and the table was only lit in small candles.

"I'll get there when I'm good and ready." Alec nodded with finality.

"Cute," Justin said under his breath with a hint of sarcasm.

"I was fourteen," Emmett said. "I don't even remember her name." He tapped his chin.

"That's sad." Alice pursed her lips. "I was sixteen and had a horrible experience. I didn't know what to do with…it. I just let him stick it wherever and I didn't even feel anything."

We all laughed. Francis looked around like we were all crazy.

"I was seventeen and it was at prom." I bit my lip. "Pretty normal stuff."

Justin was the last to go. Everyone was looking at him.

"What counts as sex?" he asked, trying to beat around the bush. "Because technically…"

"When you stick your penis in a vagina," Rose said slowly. "Intercourse. Penetration. When you buried your cock into her wet…"

"Alright, alright," I shouted. "We get it."

She shrugged.

Justin exhaled and ran a hand over his hair. I didn't think he was going to answer.

"He was twelve." Emmett did for him. "Nicola took him to a strip club and paid for pussy, but I'm sure Justin could get it anyway. The girls loved him."

Justin never liked talking about this. He blamed many of his problems now on his early sexual experiences. I think it traumatized him a little.

I took his hand under the table. He nodded in conformation.

"I think her name was Stacy or something." He took a pull from his wine, finishing that conversation.

"What a stripper name." Alice rolled her eyes. "Okay, new question."

"What is one thing your partner won't let you do in the bedroom?" Jasper quirked an eyebrow. "Alice won't let me tie her up."

"I can't do it." She shook her head adamantly. "I don't like being confined. No, it's out of the question."

"Rose won't do anal." Emmett sipped his beer.

"What?" Jane asked in surprise. "You must not be doing it right."

We all looked at her.

"It can be fun if you do it right." She put her hands up to demonstrate. "First, you just have to stretch because…"

"Stop!" Jasper clapped a hand over her mouth. "None of that talk around the table."

"Ask Alice." Jane tilted her head. "She does it."

"I do not!" Alice squeaked, "Once. Okay, maybe twice."

Jasper held up ten fingers proudly. "At least that many."

She giggled, "He's lying."

Justin and I had never…done that. I hadn't done enough research on that to consider it a possibility. He never asked or pushed and I just didn't find it necessary. Obviously, Jane had experience.

"All I'm saying is that you have to prepare. You can't just stick it up there and expect everything to feel good," Jane told Rosalie. "Be adventurous."

"Congratulations." Emmett nodded to Alec. I didn't think he understood.

"Justin won't let me give him a blowjob, I said innocently.

There were various forms of protest from around the table—men and women alike. Justin choked on his wine and looked at me with wide eyes. He wasn't mad, though. Just shocked.

"I don't believe that," Jasper mocked. "You're lying."

"No, it's true," I affirmed. "I've never been able to give him one. He always stops me."

To be honest, I actually liked giving them,I think. I was told I was good at them in high school from the two guys I had relationships with. Then there was Mike, but he was up for anything. I could have stuck his penis in a light socket and his eyes would have been as good as rolled back.

"Look, "Justin held his hands up, "it's not like I don't enjoy getting them, but why should we do that kind of stuff? It's degrading for her."

"No, it's not," Emmett jeered.

"Quite the opposite." Alice's brow crinkled. "It gives us power in the bedroom. It's fun for us. Well, of course, there are some girls who don't like to do it, but that's their choice. Selena doesn't seem to mind."

I shook my head. "I would do it if he let me."

"This is just sad." Jasper tsked. "And here I thought you two were wild sex fiends."

"Do you go down on her?" Alec asked him.

Justin nodded, a smirk on his lips. I hit his shoulder.

Cocky bastard.

"So then what's the problem? It's reciprocation."

"I just don't like seeing her down there," Justin said. "It might feel good, sure, but I don't like thinking about it."

"I feel something more." Alice eyed him with suspicion.

He sighed. "I had sex the first time at twelve, but my first sexual experience was at eleven; another stripper. She gave me a blowjob and said that she hated doing it because she was powerless on her knees. I don't ever want Selena powerless."

Justin's words were profound and incredibly sweet, even though the context was slightly inappropriate.

"You'll never be powerless." He kissed the side of my face. "Besides, blowjobs are juvenile."

"That's true," Rose agreed. "Every middle schooler these days knows how to bob their heads up and down, but it's fun."

"Like anal sex can be fun," Jane shot at her.

"That is not what I had in mind! It could hurt."

"That's why you stretch!"

My little blowjob problem was forgotten after that. Justin laughed at the jokes everyone made and how incredibly crazy we were being in our discussion on sex.

All too soon, we were all starting to get sleepy or maybe just drunk. Well, not me, but I could have lied down for a bit.

Justin carried me up the stairs and into our giant bedroom. All our clothes had been unpacked and put away nicely by the staff,who I never saw unless we asked for something.

He gently laid me on the bed and I sunk into the sheets. "I'm going to go take a shower and then come back to show you just how fun sex can be without silly blowjobs."

"Can't I take a shower with you?" I asked, panting since his hands were already creeping up my thighs, making them burn in anticipation.

"No, I need to ravish you in a bed where we have room to…spread out."

"Oh, my," I gasped as his lips descended on my exposed collarbone.

"Would you like to shower first?" he asked, nipping behind my ear, talking slowly and deeply.

"Uh…no. I'll go after you." I threaded my fingers into his hair.

"All that talk about sex downstairs got me very hot." His lips trailed down my cheek until they reached my neck again. "God, your skin is so soft."

"Fuck…" I lifted my hips up for pressure against him.

"Say it again," he mumbled, his face now in between my breasts. He had pulled down my sundress, and I was bare on top.

"Fuck," I screamed when his teeth raked across my nipple.

"I love it when you curse. It's so sexy." He kissed lower, taking my dress down with him. "You're so innocent, but when I get you in my bed, you turn into this…I don't even know. Say more bad stuff."

I giggled as his lips opened, and he breathed hot breath over my upper thighs. My dress was gone completely. I shuddered as the air hit my skin, now wet by his kisses.

"I don't know what to say." I could feel myself blush. I had never been one for dirty talk.

"Say, 'pussy'," he commanded.

"Pussy," I whispered.

"Louder."

"Pussy!"

"Forget the shower." Justin ripped off his shirt, buttons popping over me. I felt his skin against mine when he lied back on top of me. "Will this hurt the baby?"

"No," I gasped again when his hand pressed between my legs, feeling my folds and taking his sweet time pushing a finger into me. I pulled at his hair, an encouragement to go further.

"Get up," he instructed, removing his hand.

"What?" I pouted.

Justin gently picked me up and turned me around. "On all fours, Selena."

"Oh." I exhaled through my mouth, taken by surprise by his tone. I liked it.

When I didn't move quicklyenough for him, he lifted me until I was on my knees. Justin roughly took my hands and placed them on the headboard in front of us, shoulder-width apart.

"Tenerli lì,"he said.

Keep them there.

I nodded.

His voice and his accent and his tone and his commands…I was so hot, I thought the smoke detectors might go off.

"I don't want you to stay quiet tonight," Justin told me, breaking our usual rule. Alec would always complain if we were too loud. "I want you to scream until your lungs burn. Let them know how good I can make you feel. Make everyone know."

"I can do that," I panted.

His hand trailed down my back, pushing me down so that I arched a little. He slinked his long fingers over my skin, creating lanes of pure fire in their wake.

"So soft…" I heard him whisper. His hands were now trailing over my butt and went between my crack. I shuddered. Lower, he went until he was again between my legs. He spread them wide. I clutched the headboard so hard, my nails screamed out in pain.

Justin's tongue was wet and hot all at the same time as he licked me slowly. I was already drenched with my arousal, but he created more of a flood. I couldn't take it. I tried to back up so that his tongue would be inside me, but he kept using the pad, creating slow torturous movements.

"You're always ready for me." His speech was mumbled, but I heard.

"It's a blessing and a curse." I whimpered when he curled his tongue upwards and grazed my clit with the tip. He didn't add fingers, and I was afraid to ask him to. Another clit brushing and I was done.

I shook from pleasure. My whole body was exhausted, and I wanted to collapse, but his hands were suddenly on mine, grasping the headboard. I didn't have any time to recover before he was fully inside of me. He was solid. Pure rock, filling me to capacity, and I screamed out just how good it felt.

"Louder, Selena," he said in a dominating tone.

I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed to shout. His hands pushed onto mine with each thrust of his hips. He filled me again and again and again…taking me from behind. Justin was deep inside,and each time he entered, I would cry out in ecstasy.

The headboard hit the wall and started to creak. I think he wanted to break it. I wouldn't mind if he did.

Justin spread my legs even wider as we both neared our finish. He knew my body so well that we didn't even have to talk about out impending orgasms. We were always in sync. It took three more thrusts before I was done. I couldn't hold on any longer and quivered my release.

I couldn't scream anymore, so my voice sounded kind of like a bird being strangled as I told him just how much I loved him. He came shortly after, pushing into me one last time. I could feel wetness…everywhere. And I liked it. I wanted more. I craved it.

His hard chest hit my back and he pulled my hair to one side, placing kisses on my neck. "Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head. "Was I loud enough?"

He chuckled darkly. "Yes. I think they now know just how much hard I can fuck you."

"Is that all this was, just to prove your sexual authority to your brothers?"

"Among other things, yes," he replied candidly.

"I don't mind that at all." I knew I should, but I didn't.

Our hands were still on the headboard, because I didn't think I could physically lift them away. We were forever cemented to that spot.

"I want to pull out of you, but…I can't. I refuse to." He pushed his hips deeper. I could feel him reaching as far as he could and it was gloriously painful.

"I think we woke everyone up."

"I hope so, Selena. Those lungs of yours could probably wake the dead. I liked hearing that," he said with urgency. "We should rest. We have a long day tomorrow."

With what sounded like pain, he slid out of me. I still couldn't move.

Justin was off of the bed, but came back a couple of seconds later. "I've got you, Selena." He pried off each of my fingers from the wood, but they still felt stiff.

He cradled me in his arms and turned me over to lie on my back.

"I didn't mean to be so rough." He sounded remorseful.

"Yes you did." I laughed softly. "That's okay, though."

I saw him take a wet washcloth and wipe down my thighs, which were still shakingHe then took the material and placed it between my legs, letting the warmness heat me up. It felt incredibly good. He ran it up and down my slit, not sexually, but caringly.

"I should have constrained myself." Justin continued to rub me clean. His fingers were so light on my sensitive areas, nothing like his touch a couple minutes ago. The heat was incredibly soothing. "You'll be sore in the morning."

"Stop it." I lifted myself up with as much force as I had left. His hand didn't move from between my legs. "I wanted more."

He grinned in the darkness. "Then you shall have it, but not tonight. Right now, we sleep."

Justin kissed my forehead and laid me onto the sheets. I felt him climb in next to me, his chest, once again, hitting my back. His arm draped over me protectively.

"Goodnight, Selena." His lips touched my head one last time.

[fentonizer]

The Will of The Prevailing Culture

What can be done? What can I do? I’m sat at home and the world is falling apart.

I’m white. I live in the country of my birth, and so do my parents. I’m straight. I’m able-bodied... This sounds like the opening semi-spoken lines to a song in a musical, except one where everything is dandy and no one is an orphan or has a sexually transmitted disease.

My point is, that as far as privilege goes, I’ve got a bingo-card full of that shit. The only privilege I don’t have is being able to type the word privilege correctly on the first try. That is as bad as it gets for me (oh and the unrelenting mental health issues, lol).

So it’s important to hold on to these feelings sometimes, these feelings of being scared and worried about the world when the world, generally, takes it easy on me. Imagine how the downtrodden feel right now, and how they’ve feel every day in a culture that minimises them. And that’s not “white guilt,” that’s empathy. That’s being a responsible citizen. That’s, ultimately, what being a bleeding-heart-lefty is all about. Putting yourself in other people’s shoes and thinking “how would I want the world to react to me if I were in that position?”

The right wing mindset, as far as I can tell (and I am not a smart man), is that people get what they deserve. If they’re poor, they need to work harder. If they can’t work because they had kids, well tough, should have thought of that before you opened your legs (no abortions allowed obvs).

Nota bene: some have a habit of assuming when anyone says “right-wing” they are using it as a pejorative, that it’s a thought terminating cliché. This is generally what we call “projection.” “I’m not right wing! My parents who hate weed and homos, they’re right wing! ...Islam is concerning though, and I don’t approve of Pride festivals. Also, where’s White History Month?"

You can be right wing, that’s fine. It’s an acceptable point of view to not want 70% of your earning to be taxed, especially if it’s going to people who haven’t worked as hard as you, or your parents. Maybe the free-market will decide who can run the best train service or provide the best health care. Maybe even the very idea of right-left politics is dying and we need something new (although I don’t subscribe to this ridiculous “Horseshoe Theory” that states that the hard-right and hard-left are more ideologically similar than they are to the centre).

A rise of globalisation, by definition, attacks the right wing and it’s belief in a natural social hierarchy. Globalisation erodes national identity and so it’s no shock that immigration is the hottest potato, as it’s is seen as a slippery slope to the erasure of cultures and values inherent to the natives (immigration, not potatoes).

We don’t have to look far for examples of this. A so-called “attack on Christmas” in the Christian nations of America and the UK create backlash over the perceived removal of religion and Christ from the festive season. This is inexorably tied to political correctness, whereby it’s not “politically correct” to openly display symbols of Christianity while at the same time feeling like one has to bend over backwards to accommodate other religions.

Mere days before the EU Referendum, I made the following tweet:

As flippant as it was, I do believe it cut to the heart of the debate by humorously rephrasing the question “do you see immigration as a threat to your way of life?” As we all know, a British Exit was The Will of The People, citing immigration as one of, if not the, key issue.

There are some amazing stats here, and I would draw particular attention to the question about “whether immigration enriches or undermines cultural life.” No surprises, that the leave voters heavily said it undermines, and remain that it enriches.

As far as I can see, and this isn’t a new or ground-breaking idea, it’s that people voted to leave the EU because they wanted change. People feel downtrodden, austerity has told them to sacrifice and the dissonance of the message that “there’s just no money” side-by-side with a relentless media barrage of what immigrants are doing hits hard. How can there be no money, no housing, cuts to welfare and a failing NHS at the same time as an open door policy to new people in this country?

And again, that’s my bleeding left heart giving people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t believe calling leave voters racist achieves much, even if there is no doubt some correlation between views on race, immigration and nationalism. 

But where does this leave us? Brexit feels like a small step towards the state of the world today, a referendum fought on false battle lines, won by appealing to a mindset reinforced by a biased media. Which, you know, is exactly what the leave vote will say about my stupid remoaner attitude (”remoaner” being a clever portmanteau of remain and moaner).

And that’s what gets me. That’s the fear and the upset I spoke of when I started this. The sheer polarisation of the talking points, the unwillingness of people to even entertain the idea of news and ideas from places they don’t trust. It’s fake news after all, be that Breitbart, The Daily Mail, CNN or the BBC. They can’t be trusted, it’s all an agenda.

The facts don’t matter now, and all we’re left with is who can shout the loudest, who can appeal to emotion the best, and the right wing are undoubtedly winning that fight.

Please don’t mistake this for some lame “the truth is in the middle” argument implying the only winning move is not to play. This is specifically the opposite. This is specifically about caring about a cause, your convictions, to the point that you are doing yourself a disservice by not talking about them.

It’s about the mental struggle of reading, for example, Twitter, a service that is both polarising and useless for real discussion, seeing a hashtag trending about the gender wage gap, and seeing it full of anime avatars telling you it’s all lies. What do you do about that? Do you ignore them as they’re “clearly wrong.” How does that make me any better than people who cry Fake News on things they don’t want to hear? How can I argue a position of “these people just want to stay in their echo-chamber” when I am not making the effort to try and change minds, to find statistics, to link studies?

It’s about seeing culture, the internet especially, become more and more bold in its championing of blatantly anti-intellectual, populist talkers and being unable to do anything about it.

It’s about having this constant bombardment against my worldview. A worldview that I always assumed I came to naturally rather than being the product of a politically correct, leftist elite echo-chamber, thought-policing me into submission.

It’s about hearing and reading these clearly racist and sexist opinions, and having to then be told that my reaction to them are just emotional and irrational and that I should do some research and stop lying to myself.

And as I said above, this is me talking as a young white guy. Imagine being a woman or gay or a person of colour or transsexual, having had to deal with this shit everyday, being treated as an “other” whose entire zeitgeist is wrong and unimportant when put up against the will of the prevailing culture.

This is truly what is meant when people say cishet dudes like myself should sit out of these things, and I have always respected that because I can never even pretend to know. This is all small fry. Which isn’t the best way to end a thirteen-hundred word blog, but there we go.

I’ll always have Brexit. Anyway, next week: some jokes.

[anavoliselenu]

freedom chapter 9

JUSTIN POV

"You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom."- Malcolm X

I took one pill…then another… then another… then another.

I readjusted my glass on my nose and read the fucking label on the container. It would probably be best if I knew what the fuck I was ingesting. Valium. Well, praise Jesus for it. I don't know if I would even be able to make it another year without the stuff. Living my life was stressful only made more so by my headstrong, stubborn, uncontrollable, incredibly gorgeous wife.

My car was gone. Not just any car, but the car. The one I polished in my free time, if I ever had any. The one I hadn't even turned on since buying it for fear that the engine might get overheated. The one that I stared at every morning, wishing I could drive it to work, but knew I couldn't. My Bugatti only was it stolen from my garage, but it was done out of spite.

She wanted me to hear the engine roaring out of the driveway and she wanted me to get angry about it.

I began reading the pill bottle, "Side effects include:Drowsiness, muscle weakness, tiredness… New or worsening mental or mood changes, confusion, difficulty breathing, fainting, fever, chills, or persistent sore throat, hallucinations..."

The list went on forever. I would gladly accept it all, though, if I could just have five fucking minutes of peace.

Alec poked his head into my office. "You brought this on yourself."

"Get out." I rubbed my forehead.

"She took your damn car because you're treating her like an invalid." He disobeyed me and sauntered in, chomping on some chips. Crumbs were sprinkling everywhere, but our wonderful dog began lapping them up in his wake.

"Get out!" I roared and then quickly worked to calm myself down before continuing. "Please, just leave me alone."

"You can't expect to disable Selena's car and just sit back while she gets driven around everywhere. She's tougher than that."

"I thought you were going to the grocery store with her," I growled. "Why can't you just go by yourself? She's not your maid."

"Uh, as I recall, I was banned from shopping for food."

"You brought twenty frozen pizzas. Why in the hell would you buy twenty frozen pizzas?" I recalled the last grocery store debacle. "We didn't even have enough room for them all."

He shrugged, taking a seat. "I was hungry. When do you think she'll get back?"

"When she's done shopping." I slammed my fist down, "I'm getting a housekeeper. We should have someone who does all of this medial shit. Why is Selena going to the store this late? It's not rational."

"She likes being independent."

"I don't care. I refuse to let her…"

"Stop right there." Alec raised his hand. "If you use that type of language, she'll kill us both. Selena doesn't want a housekeeper. She likes to clean and cook all by herself. It makes her feel useful."

"She'll have to deal." I picked up another bottle of pills and took two, not bothering to read the labels on this one. I just knew it made me feel better.

"Well, you have to admit, the Bugatti is one hell of a car. And you don't drive it, so why can't she?"

"Because it's a racing car. She doesn't need to be in anything that fast in her condition."

"She's not a doll, you know."

"Everyone keeps saying that," I replied, sighing through my nose. "I just want her to be safe, and it seems like everything I try to do is just making her madder."

"Because you don't talk to her. You just assume Selena will go along with everything. Wrong! She's a grown woman, in case you didn't know. Try explaining it to her. I guarantee you it will work better for your health."

"Shut up and get out of my office." I took my glasses off, flinging them on the table in front of me.

"Alright, alright…" He stood, taking his fucking chips with him, and exited.

Francis stayed behind and hoped up on the chair opposite me. Normally, I would scold him for being on the furniture. I couldn't bring myself to care right now. Maybe these mood stabilizers actually did work.

"Don't look at me like that." I scrubbed my face with my palms. "She's going to give me gray hairs. I know it's just a car, but it's more than that. She fights me on everything when I'm just trying to protect her."

Francis tilted his head, his tiny ears perking up.

"This is all your fault," I told him. "You should have told me she was leaving without Alec. I wouldn't have allowed…" I stopped myself before I started sounding like the father of a sixteen year old girl.

I let myself relax and sunk into my plush office chair. My body felt incredibly heavy.

Of course, I had to have something to interrupt me.

The phone on my desk jolted me awake. I groaned and picked up.

"What?" I didn't bother with pleasantries. If it was Esme on the other end, I was fucked.

"Uh, Boss. This is Danny."

"Who?"

"Danny. Mrs. Bieber's bodyguard."

"Oh, what are you doing calling me?" I sat up straighter.

"We have a situation."

"A situation?"

"Yes, sir."

There was silence for a couple of seconds. "Are you stupid? Talk!" I commanded.

"Oh, right, sir. Um, Mrs. Bieber was caught in a rather…sticky predicament."

"You're speaking in riddles and my patience is dangerously low. Is she hurt? Did she crash the car? Did she have a fucking heart attack?"

"No, sir. We're here at the market down the street and there's been what seems like a robbery. There are men inside with guns. They are holding the people hostage."

I stood up so fast, my chair toppled over. "Tell me she's not in there."

"Uh, yes, sir, she is."

"Fucking…" I ran a hand through my hair and pulled. "Why weren't you in there with her?"

"You told us to keep a distance…"

"No, I told you to protect her," I seethed. "That's what's wrong with you people. Paid-for-hire is never the way to go when dealing with security. Take you team and go home; you're all fired."

"But, sir-"

"You're lucky I'm not going to kill you. But if she has one hair on her head harmed, you better run for your motherfucking life." I slammed the phone down, startling Francis.

I turned and punched the first thing in reach, which happened to be a window. It didn't break, but a crack ran up the pane, splintering off in different directions. I had too much medication in me to feel my hand, but heard the pop of my knuckles upon contact.

That can't be good…

I didn't have time to dwell on my anger and rushed into the bedroom. I pulled on anything I could find, not caring if it stunk or if it was dirty. I was moving too quickly to let my OCD take over.

Suddenly, all thoughts of my sports car were lost. Fuck the Buggatti. Was Selena alright? Had they hurt her? Was this some random robbery? Was she keeping her head down and eyes open? Was she using the skills I had taught her to stay alive? Was the baby okay?

I jumped the stairs three at a time and slid on the hardwood floor in the hallway, trying to grab my keys from the table.

"Uh, Justin…" Alec called. "You might want to get in here and see this."

I went into the family room where he had the TV on.

The scene made me even more anxious. Police cars were everywhere, people were being pushed behind offensive 'Caution' tape, and a slew of cops were positioned in front of the grocery store. The woman who was reporting might as well have been just standing there, because I couldn't hear. Her words meant nothing to me.

"I think Selena might be in trouble." Alec's mouth hung open as he watched.

I pulled out my phone and called her number. Three times I called, and she didn't pick up—just like she hadn't been doing all night. At first, I thought it was because she was ignoring me. Now I feared it was something more.

I snapped back to reality and dashed for the door. My younger brother was there to block my path.

"Get out of my way." I was so angry that my hands were shaking.

"I can't let you go down there, Justin. This is a job for the police."

"Move your ass," I snarled. "Now!"

"You could get someone hurt. I know you're just going to barge in and take control. You can't do that. You need to stay here and let the cops handle this."

I moved close to him. "If you don't get out of my way, I'll kill you."

"I'm trying to save you…" His eyes held a little bit of fear from my threat, but not much.

I lifted my knee up and struck him right between the legs. He let out a yelp of pain and a groan of uneasiness. He fell into me while I cradled him down to the ground.

"I know that was a bitch move, but I warned you," I said in his ear. "I don't care who you are, come between me and my wife again, and I'll make good on that promise to kill you."

I left him on the floor, whimpering, while I ran to the garage. I chose the thing closest to the front, which happened to be a white Mercedes. I didn't remember buying it, but got in anyway. I sped out of the driveway and down the street, hitting two of my neighbor's mailboxes on the way.

My hands were glued to the steering while and my knuckles started turning white. My teeth were pulling at my bottom lip—a habit I had picked up from Selena.

"Why didn't you just stay home tonight?"

A thousand scenarios were going through my head, but I tried not to let them get the better of me. I needed to know what the hell was going on, and I wouldn't get that information by blowing up at the cops. One thing was for certain, though;: I was pissed beyond belief. Not at Selena, but whoever the hell it was who had her in danger.

By the time I screeched to a halt in front of the store, I felt like I had been driving for hours. The adrenaline rushing through my veins was enough to keep me awake for days.

The scene was just as it was on TV, but so much more alarming. Red and blue lights flashed everywhere. Police cars and ambulances were placed, not only in the parking lot, but up and down the streets as well. People were crowded around, talking, whispering.

The yellow tape that blocked everything off was a complete nuisance to me, but easy to rip out of the way.

"Sir, you need to get back." A young deputy ran in front of me, his hands raised.

"If you value your life, you'll step away from me," I said lowly. My voice was raspy with authority, laced with a hint of deadly rage.

"All civilians must be behind the barricades, sir." He pushed my chest.

I took his wrist and flipped it behind me, pulling it halfway up his back. I saw a lot of commotion out of the corner of my eye. Police officers being being shouted at me.

I pulled on his wrist more, making him squirm under my grasp. "I need to get to my wife. Who's in charge here?" I asked him.

"Behind the yellow tape, sir,"he ground out through his clenched teeth.

"Justin, let him go." I heard a familiar voice. "I'll have you arrested right here if I have to."

I pushed the deputy on the ground and raised my head, only slightly surprised by the man in my eye line.

"Embry Call. What the hell are you doing here?" I stepped over the pathetic excuse for a cop, who I had just disarmed.

"I work Hostage now," he said, almost proudly.

This was the man who was working under Jacob Black during my entire investigation. He had visited Selena in jail to inform her of my death. I knew this because she told me how much she hated him. He held her while she cried.

I should say something like 'thank you' right now, but I didn't have time to bring up the past.

"You were demoted?" I raised an eyebrow.

"If you must know, yes. That fucking stunt you pulled four years ago didn't go well for some of us." He snapped his mouth shut.

The officers had lowered their weapons, but were still standing there like they didn't have anything better to do.

Embry looked the same. Still .Your run-of-the mill officer with too much time on his hands and not enough important cases to actually make a difference in the world. Probably what Selena's father looked like thirty years ago.

"It seemed to do great things for your boss, Mr. Black. He's working for the Pentagon now." I shrugged. "I thought you were in on the plan to take an innocent woman to jail and try to force things out of her."

"I was never working with Jacob and you know it." He stood up to me. "He was a dirty cop. I always liked Selena. She had to be strong to put up with your ass for so long."

"You don't have the right to speak her name." I got closer to him, our noses almost touching. He was just about as tall as me. I never noticed that before.

"You think you have everyone fooled, don't you? Coming back here like some God and making a big splash," Embry scoffed. "You're still the same murderer you were when I was tracking you."

"So why don't you arrest me?" I goaded him. He didn't answer me. "Exactly."

"How did you get back here anyway? Are you on parole or something? Were all your charges dropped?"

"That's information known only between me and a highly official district attorney. I'm not sure they share that kind of stuff with…hostage negotiators." I looked Embry up and down, a clear indication of my disgust of him.

"I almost had you." He shook his head. "But you…slipped away. You always do."

"You didn't catch me because you're weak. I made it easy for you and Black."

"Then why did you run away?"

Get Selena. Forget this fucker!

"That's a different story for a different day. For when I actually have time for you and your dirty cop rule book."

"I play by the rules."

"What do they say about a situation like this?" I looked around the parking lot, filling with more people and more cars.

"They say…we wait." His eyes didn't falter or shift. He was serious.

I pushed him out of my way, walking closer to the police car line up that was placed about two hundred feet from the entrance of the store. The officers followed, yelling orders.

"Justin Bieber, you have no jurisdiction here. You're not even a cop." He spun me around. I calmed my anger from his touch. It wouldn't be advantageous for me to get arrested right now.

"My wife is in there." I pointed behind me. "I demand to know what you're going to do about it."

For the first time, I saw him show his emotions. His eyes widened and he stumbled. "Selena's in there?"

"Yes, and she's being held hostage. I know nothing and need answers."

"You need to go home, Justin. I can't help her if you're here."

"Bullshit. My child is in danger."

"You have a child?" he almost shouted. "What the hell?"

"Well…no. Not yet," I stuttered. "She's pregnant."

"Oh, well, congratulations." Embry nodded.

"Thanks." I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

We stood around like awkward, ex-best friends, meeting each other for the first time since graduation. It was stifling, and a horribly forced tolerance swirled around us. He didn't like me; I didn't like him. We both knew that.

"Are you going to get her or should I?" I tapped my shoe impatiently.

"Boss, do you want us to escort him away?" Another deputy came up behind me. I almost wrung his neck for being so close.

Embry looked at me with squinted eyes, sizing me up. "Can you keep your cool and let me do my job?"

"I'll give you one fucking hour." I held a finger up. "Then I'm handling it."

"He can stay," Embry told his men.

I stuck close to him since he seemed to know what he was doing. Embry was very confident and clear with his demands. He told everyone what needed to happen and when. I was begrudgingly impressed.

Selena was in there. I saw my Buggatti on the far side of the parking lot. I didn't give a fuck about it anymore. I was tempted to burn the thing just to see if God would accept my sacrifice and send Selena out to me.

I paced behind Embry as he and the other officers went over floor plans of the grocery store.

"There are only two ways in," someone said, hunched over the police car hood where the papers were scattered. "The loading dock in the back and the front entrance."

"There are snipers on the roof and the two buildings across the street as well," someone else muttered. "We've got the place covered, so no one's getting out."

Embry exhaled, "I don't like these odds."

That made me stop. Everyone took notice and ceased their talking, so I began pacing again.

"I need video surveillance from inside. Where is my video feed?" Embry shouted.

"It's coming!" a tech guy said. "Give us five minutes."

"How many people are inside?" I asked no one in particular.

"We're not sure."

"How many robbers are there?"

"We're not sure."

"How long have they been in there?"

"An hour, maybe more. We're not sure."

"What do you know?" I crashed my fist down on the car. I was rewarded with a low throb, pulsing throughout my hand. A couple cops jumped and had hands on their guns, but easedback.

"Justin, stop it." Embry pulled me away from the group. "You're not helping anyone."

"I need her back now. I'm starting to go crazy." I rubbed my palms on my pants. They had been sweating for too long.

"I'm doing the best I can and I promise to get her out first," he whispered. "Just give me time. All hostage takers want to be heard. Once they call, I'll know what they need specifically."

I felt like I was going to throw up as the minutes passed.

Emmett and Jasper arrived half an hour later. They paced along with me, but tried to say everything was going to be all right. I was tired of hearing that. My brothers were far more rational than I was. They kept telling me to trust the police.

What the fuck?

Since when do we trust police? Let alone, the one who used to visit my wife in jail when she was locked up. I don't think so. But I didn't do anything. I cooled my nerves because I was in the perfect place for information. Embry talked to me every couple of minutes and gave me updates.

"We have a video feed." One of the tech officers brought over a crude-looking laptop, which played a black and white scene. He set it on the hood of the cop car. I pushed my way into the circle.

"Where's Selena?" I asked.

Emrby rolled his eyes. "There are other people we need to be worried about as well."

"I don't fucking care," I said harshly. "Can you see her?"

"Justin, please just shut up!"

"Don't you ever talk to me that way!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder, reminding me to be tranquil. Emmett had suddenly become the voice of reason. I grumbled, but didn't say anything more.

The picture changed every couple of seconds. The feed was from several different cameras around the store, placed at a variety of locations. Each time, my heart sped up, seeking her out.

"There." Embry pointed to the corner of the laptop. I saw Selena's dark hair first and her small face appeared next. She looked so fragile, curled into a corner, by herself. Then the picture changed.

"No!" I shouted. "Bring it back."

"I can't do that." The tech guy shrugged. "It's rotating on its own."

I grabbed him by the collar and raised my throbbing fist. Embry pulled me off of him before I could strike. "At least we know she's safe and no one's hurt."

He dragged me to the side. "I have to go find her."

"No, stay here and let me do my job," he said with finality.

I waited.

Fifteen minutes later, the commissioner showed up with the fire department and more cops. Sixteen minutes later, more television stations set up shop around the store. They all chattered about the robbery and wanted to assure the public that everything was being taken care of.

Like hell it was…

Eighteen minutes later, the bomb squad showed up. That's when I almost lost it. You only called them if you suspected an explosive. I did throw up after that. I stay hunched over a bush and expelled the contents of my stomach until I couldn't breathe. My nerves were just too much.

"We're going to get her," Embry guaranteed me.

"I hope for your sake, you're right. If not, I'll just kill everyone here," I said nonchalantly. He knew I meant it.

"How does Selena get involved in all these things?" He chuckled, a light-hearted attempt to lift the mood.

I didn't answer him and walked away.

I went unnoticed by the cops who were shuffling around, trying to look like they were doing something. I stayed out of there way for the most part.

From the video feed, more answers came. There were four robbers. They wore masks at first, but pulled them off as the time passed. Embry informed me that this was indeed a random hostage situation. The group was a bunch of rowdy guys who had held up large stores like this all over the state. They hadn't been caught yet. What made me more anxious was the fact that two of them were ex-military. They had names and faces, but I didn't care. All their blood would be the same once I was through with them.

Twenty minutes later, finally, something happened.

"Boss, we have a phone call!" someone from a truck shouted.

There was a lot of movement and people started to pull on headsets. I ran over to Embry, almost knocking him down.

He held a phone in his hand and put it against his ear. I leaned in so I could hear.

"This is Embry Call. I'm in charge of this situation."

I rolled my eyes at his fake masculine authority.

"I need to speak with the commissioner." The voice was cold.

Everyone was listening. The commissioner shook his head.

"He's not here," Embry replied. "It's just me and my team."

"Alright, then. I have some demands."

"Name them."

"Five million dollars in cash and a plane at the airport, ready for us in an hour."

"I can't do that. Who am I talking to?" Embry asked.

"That's none of your concern. Give me what I want or someone will die every ten minutes. You have until midnight."

"We can't give you any of that. We don't have the resources."

"You have until midnight." The voice repeated.

Tired of the game, I snatched the phone from Embry. "Listen to me, you little shit. I don't care who you are…"

I didn't get to finish my sentence.

"We'll call you back in five." Embry ended the call. "What the hell was that?"

"I had my own demands," I grunted.

"You could have endangered them in there." He was livid and his face was turning an odd shade of purple. "This is my job. We do as I say."

"If you would do your job, then I would have my wife with me."

"Maybe you should keep a tighter hold on her then…" he snapped.

I let my fist fly and punched him in the mouth. I was so angry, I almost didn't feel it. Almost. He had sharp teeth that dug into my skin, so it hurt like hell, but was worth it.

I was pulled away and smashed against the police car. "You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer…"

"No!" Embry shouted. "Let him go."

The pressure on my arms was let up. I shook them off.

"Bieber, that was your last chance. Let me handle this." He pointed at me, wiping the blood from his lip. He didn't seem fazed at all. My knuckles had gashes on them, but I didn't want to wrap them up.

So I was standing outside of a grocery store that was being held up by gunmen with my wife inside. Both hands had some form of injury to them and my stomach was in knots. Tonight was not a good night.

I checked my watch as the minutes slid by. The commissioner was not happy and started yelling at everyone to move fast or "be diligent about the citizens' lives". I didn't see his attitude getting much done. Embry was more docile in his approach, but nothing was working.

Just as the robbers promised, ten minutes later, there was a single gunshot. It echoed through the parking lot like a canon and made everyone duck for cover. We crouched behind cars and ran behind trees. When it was safe, everyone started to reemerge.

"What was that?" I asked Embry, already knowing the answer.

"I don't think they're playing around." His voice was shaky.

The video hadn't shown who was shot or if anyone was injured, so I didn't know if Selena was all right.

The phone rang again. People started to hastily move so they could hear it from their headsets and speakerphones.

Embry picked up. I didn't bother moving away from him.

He didn't speak, just listened and nodded his head before hanging up a couple of seconds later.

"They want ten million now," he told me.

"Then pay them and get them the fucking plane," I said angrily.

"We don't have those resources. We have to negotiate with them."

"I'll give to them. I don't care!"

"No. We can't give in to their demands. Then they win."

"Or someone dies?"

He didn't answer me.

I spun around on my heel and took off towards the oppositeend of the parking lot. Emmett and Jasper were leaning against the big Hummer that they brought.

"Move," I commanded. "I'm doing this myself."

I opened the trunk and lifted the carpet. Underneath was a storage compartment that always stayed concealed. Inside was the stash of weaponry.

I pulled out a bulletproof Kevlar vest and strapped it to my chest.

"You can't do this, Justin," Emmett protested.

"Don't tell me what I can't do." I harshly started to test the chambers of guns, peeking inside to see if they were all loaded. "If this was Rosalie, you would have already been inside."

"There are people in there that might get hurt. You have to wait," Jasper said.

"Selena's in there. Are you just going to let her sit? That's your sorella. Family first, brother. You're either with me or not. I don't need you two."

They didn't think about it for a second before strapping on vests of their own.

"I just want to go on record as stating that this is going to get us all killed." Emmett shook his head.

"Your comment has been added to the 'I don't give a fuck' pile," I muttered. "Give me five minutes to get Selena out then you guys can come in and do the rest."

"Shoot low," Jasper whispered. "We can't afford to hit anyone and we don't want to kill these robbers."

"I want to kill them," I argued.

"No, Justin. Just focus on getting Selena to safety." Emmett clapped my shoulder. "You've got five minutes before we head in, guns a-blazin'."

"Gotcha."

The gun in my hand was a M16A2 Rifle. It was sturdy and menacing. The accuracy was almost perfect, and it was easy to carry. The strap sat across my chest and the cartridge was full. I was ready to do some damage.

I walked calmly up towards the grocery store. I seemed to go unnoticed until I hit the police blockade. Then there was movement.

"Drop your weapon!"

"Put the gun on the ground, hands behind your head!"

"You have five seconds to give it up!"

I just stood there, my patience running thinner.

"Justin, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Embry stalked up to me with anger in his face.

"Going to get my wife."

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times as he took in my appearance. "Where did you get a gun like that?"

"I'm not dignifying that with a response. I know you read the paper. I'm about to take over the largest weapons manufacturing plant in the world. If I want guns, I get guns. No, this doesn't have a permit. You can lock me up when I'm finished."

I moved passed him, getting closer to the entrance. He followed. "Justin, I can't let you do this. You're a civilian."

"I don't care. I have more experience than half your squad. You're all worthless. I'm going to stop paying my taxes because it's obviously not doing any good in training you fools."

"Since when do you pay taxes?"

"Hypothetically."

The grocery store was very close. I was almost there.

"Stop him!" I heard the commissioner yell.

The snipers on the roof pointed their guns at my body; I just kept walking.

"Stop him!"

"If you're going to shoot me, do it now." I stopped, waiting.

:

Embry didn't make the call, so I kept going.

"Justin, no."

"Get out of my way, Embry. I don't have time for this."

Fifty feet…

"Think about Selena. She might get hurt."

"She'll definitely get hurt if I leave it to you idiots."

Thirty feet…

"I'm going to have you arrested," he sputtered.

"Do it now or shut up."

Twenty feet…

"I'll have my men take you down."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "You don't have the balls. Oh, and if you hear gunshots, don't be alarmed. They're probably from me."

Ten feet…

I gave him one last chance to do something, but I knew he wouldn't. Like Embry said, he plays by the rules. I had shaken him up too much. He didn't know how to handle this situation. He would probably end up getting demoted, yet again, because of me. He would be lucky to be a desk clerk after this.

"Pussy!" I shouted on my way into the store. The sliding glass doors took their sweet time opening up.

It was eerily quiet. The soft, tingling music playing above created an atmosphere that didn't seem real. I felt like I had stepped into a grocery store from The Stepford Wives. Everything appeared perfect up front, but I knew dangers lurked in the back.

The good thing about stores like this was that they had mirrors in almost every crook of the store to prevent theft. There were big circular ones in the corners, small rectangular ones on the ceilings, long thin ones on the walls. They were everywhere. I could see everything.

I pinpointed my targets in the mirrors and made sure that they were far away from the last place I had seen Selena on the monitors outside. They were perusing the aisles with their guns drawn, scaring the hell out of anyone they walked passed. It looked like the hostages were being huddled into groups around the store. Made way to keep track of everyone.

I just stood there for a couple of seconds, surveying the area. Then I realized that I didn't have time for all this shit. I had to get in and get out. It would take far longer for me to seek them out. Why not bring my targets to me?

I went to the first cash register I saw and flipped the switch under the counter for the microphone.

I cleared my throat. "This is Justin Bieber. I'm not from any police department and I don't care to arrest anyone. I just need my wife."

I started to hear commotion.

"If you shoot me, I'll shoot back and be damned sure, I won't miss unless I want to," I warned. "Is there an Selena Bieber here?"

There wasn't a reply.

"Selena, I know you're somewhere. Please don't make me hunt you down. I'm in no mood for this tonight."

"I'm here, Justin!" she yelled, somewhere in the fruit section.

"Ah, well, I shall be over in a second," I said.

She was smart. By announcing herself, she just became valuable. Obviously, I was someone with the macabre attitude to put myself in danger for her. To them, she must be something special now.

"Hey, stop where you are!" a gunman shouted at me from the left. "Who are you?"

"Didn't you hear? I'm Justin Bieber and I'm here to get my wife."

We were standing in the front of the store, just staring each other down. My gun wasn't even raised. His face wasn't covered, and I could see that he wasn't much younger than me, but looked like a kid with his disheveled sandy hair and wide eyes.

"You're not supposed to be here," he said. "Take another step and I'll shoot."

"From your posture, I can tell that that you're a novice gun handler." I spoke coolly. "Have you ever shot a gun before, boy?"

He took his eyes off of me for one second and that's all I needed. Instead of wasting bullets, I decided to be more practical.

There was a nice display of vodka next to me with the bottles stacked up into a pyramid shape. I felt for whoever put it together. I started to pull the glass bottles down and just threw them in his direction.

He got hit a couple of times in the head and by the fifth bottle, the smell of alcohol was in my nose. His hold on the gun wasn't firm and his trigger finger slipped. Bullets started flying into the ceiling. I ducked and began crawling on the floor towards him. He wasn't even paying attention.

I tackled him to the ground and grabbed him by the neck. His clothes were soaked in spilled vodka. I slammed his head to the floor, placing my knee on his neck. "You made a big mistake."

He couldn't respond and started to choke something out.

You don't have time for this…

I took one last glass bottle and bashed it over his head. He limped to the side and blood started to pour from under his hair. I didn't think he was dead, but if he was, so be it.

I got off of the ground, gun in hand. I was now even more furious.

The store was bigger than I remember, and I had to slink behind corners and aisles to check if anyone was coming. I didn't hear or see anything, but that just made me more suspicious. Where had they gone?

The first group of people I came across was a mixture of about ten. They were all different ages and races, but looked scared out of their minds. They took in my gun and some started to cry.

"No, I'm not bad," I shushed them. "I'm here to get my wife. Where is the fruit area?"

None of them answered.

"Fruit, like oranges, pears, lemons and all that shit," I clarified.

Nothing.

"Is it to the right?" I asked a worker with an apron. He looked sick.

He didn't say anything.

"Selena always says that I don't always get to the healthy food because I stop at the snack aisle." I chuckled at the memory."So to the right or left?"

He pointed to the left with a shaky finger.

I nodded my thanks and began walking, crouched low to the ground. By the time I reached the frozen foods, I was over it all. I just wanted Selena home with me. I almost couldn't remember earlier in the night when we were just lying in bed. It seemed so long ago.

In the mirror in the corner, I could see another gunman. He was at the end of the aisle and had yet to notice me. His stance was firm. I guessed one of the experience ones.

I could just shoot him in the back and be done with it, but where was the honor in that?

I made sure to make a little noise as I stood up to bring attention to myself. He spun around, gun raised, and didn't bother talking. He just started shooting.

I took three in the chest, and they knocked the wind out of me. I stumbled backwards, shocked and stunned. Even though I was guarded by a vest, bullets still hurt like hell. They would leave bruises. Once I regained myself, I opened up the door to the frozen pizzas. The bullets collided with the glass, but didn't penetrate. Who would have thought that the glass doors protecting frozen pizzas would be bulletproof? I would have to tell Alec.

Once he had a millisecond to readjust, I took my chance. With one hand on my gun, I lifted it and precisely shot a bullet through his right eye. It flew out of the back of his skull and blood splattered the pristine white floor as he fell.

Simple kill.

I didn't have time to reveal in my glory. I was running out of time.

The grocery store was a foreign place for me. The only time I came in here was occasionally when Selena forced me and it wasn't like I was paying attention to where everything was. Now I wish I had.

The fruit section was tucked away behind a couple other aisles. I had a tough time finding it. There was, once again, another group of people huddled together.

"I'm looking for Selena Bieber," I whispered. "She's short, brown hair, brown eyes…"

"The hot pregnant chick?"a college looking guy asked.

My hand clutched around my gun.

You can't kill this boy…

"Yes," I ground out, "the hot pregnant chick."

"By the apples." He pointed.

I slid across the floor to stay out of sight of the gunman fifty feet away. He was checking the front, and left his valuable prize unguarded.

My knees began to hurt as I crawled.

Why were there so many fucking varieties of apples? I looked behind all the bins. I learned so much. Granny Smith were the green ones. Then they had yellow ones, which I had never seen before. And the red. So much red. Burgundy. Crimson. Cardinal. Rose. It was everywhere. Some with stems, some without. Some were from Washington or California or Texas or Pennsylvania. It was maddening.

Finally, I found her, behind the Red Delicious.

Selena was seated on the tilled floor, with her legs crossed, picking over an apple. I watched her for a second. She didn't look stressed or scared at all. She inspected the fruit in her hand and then sniffed it, taking a small bite. Some juice fell onto her shirt, and she scowled, throwing the apple aside.

Another group of fruit caught her eye. She reached and picked a green one, but from the bottom. The whole bushel tumbled silently. Selena covered herself as they fell over and pelted her. They rolled across the floor in all directions. It was honestly the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"I don't even like apples." She bit her lip and crossed her arms.

She looked okay. No noticeable bruises or scratches and thankfully, no bullet wounds. I almost didn't want to disturb her.

"If I save you, do you promise to make me hundreds of apple pies in the future?" I chuckled.

Selena whipped her head around and her eyes grew. She threw herself at me, her arms wrapping around my neck. "You're here. Finally!"

I held her close, sticking my nose into her neck to smell her scent. It was familiar and calming.

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into this time?" I asked.

"I swear; I'm a danger magnet." Selena shook her head. "I hate it."

I pulled back and cradled her face in my hand, bracing her to me as I kissed her lips. She tasted like…apples. I loved it. Her thanks for my rescue were poured into her movements as her tongue glided into my mouth. It felt like heaven. Selena's legs spread over my lap and my hand splayed on her lower back, thrusting her body closer.

Soon, I felt wetness on my face.

"Selena, are you okay? Are you hurt?" I asked worriedly.

"No." She sniffled and cried, "I'm fine."

"What is it?"

"I didn't think you would come to get me."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. I thought you were mad at me. I'm sorry I took your car." Her voice was thick with tears.

"Please stop being so silly, Selena. I don't give a fuck about the car. I just had to get you out."

"You're not mad?"

"Hell yes, I'm mad. You didn't pick up your phone, you've gotten yourself into a hostage situation, and you didn't take anyone with you." I seethed. "This is why you have bodyguards, who've been fired, by the way."

"I know. I'm so stupid." She held her head in her hands. "I thought I'd be okay."

"This is what happens when we get too complacent. We make mistakes." I hugged her. "But I came to get you."

She didn't stop crying.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs.

"I've been sitting here on the floor for over an hour, waiting for the police to show up. I'm hungry; I want a pizza or cheeseburger. I have to pee and I think I've cried myself into exhaustion."

I chuckled, "Let me just get you out of here, okay?"

She nodded, sadly smiling. "I love you, Justin. Thank you for coming to get me."

"Of course." I kissed her again. "Is the baby all right?" I placed my hand on her small, rounded stomach.

"Yeah. We're both good."

We stopped breathing when we heard a bushel of apples roll towards us. I looked up and saw the gunman behind a small farm cart with large wheels. It was another display type thing. He didn't see us yet. I pushed Selena under it, and then put my back against the far side of the cart.

I put my finger over my lips to tell Selena to be quiet. She looked so scared, but I knew it wasn't for her. It was for me.

I waited, barely breathing.

The gunman rounded the cart and pointed his gun at me. "There you are."

"You caught me." I didn't bother fighting. I didn't want bullets flying with Selena so close.

"You were stupid, coming in here."

"You were stupid holding up a grocery store. Do you think you'll get out of here alive? Police are everywhere."

"I don't care." He took off his ski mask to reveal his face. He wasn't anything special, and I was sure his name was 'Mike' or 'Norman'. Something unimpressive like blue eyes held a certain sense of crazy to them that didn't make me feel comfortable. This man wasn't stable.

"I just came to get my wife. I can get you whatever you want if you just let her go," I negotiated.

"She's the brunette who was over here?" He looked around.

I nodded.

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know. I came to find her."

"I know who you are." He raised his gun onto his shoulder. "You're that Bieber guy. The mob guy."

"Yeah, that's me."

"You don't look so scary." He darkly laughed. "I've read the reports on you. You're supposed to be some heartless, insane killer."

"I've had my moments."

"Do you want to kill me now?"

"Very much so, but I won't. I'll let the police handle you. I just want my wife safe."

"Wife? Why would someone ever marry you?"

"Because she loves me," I told him. "And I love her."

"Really? You can love?"

"Only her."

"I'm sure your mother would be disappointed to hear that." He pointed the barrel of his gun towards my face. "You don't love your mother?"

"Of course I do. It's just a different kind. Do you love your mother?"

"No," he snapped and scowled.

"Just let my wife go."

"I can't do that."

"How about an exchange? I'll stay here and you let her walk free. I'm worth a hell of a lot more." I enticed his greedy nature.

He thought it over for a couple of seconds. His eyebrows raised. "That you are. The famous Justin Bieber under my thumb."

It all happened so quickly, I almost didn't even see it.

A small hand darted out from under the cart, fingers wrapped around a shiny switchblade. It slashed across the gunman's Achilles tendon and sliced through easily. Like butter. I saw blood and heard his screams as he fell to the floor, on his knees.

"Bowing in front of me as it should be." I shot him in the groin and he flew backwards, into another display of apples with yelps of pain.

I took Selena's hand and dragged her out from under the cart. She slid easily across the tiles and started to run.

"Don't stop," I told her. "Get outside until you see the police."

"What about you?"

"Just go, Selena." I pushed her forward. She was almost to the entrance.

I saw the last gunman, gun ready, from the other side of the store.

I took position to shoot, but didn't need to. The doors of the store opened and Emmett and Jasper came barreling in followed by a throng of police who fanned out like the cavalry. They were shouting and giving orders.

I went outside and finally felt like I could breathe. Selena was free. I could care less about what was going on inside or who was getting arrested.

I started looking through the crowds to see if I could find her. Her eyes locked with mine and were pleading as she was being pulled by a medic towards an ambulance.

I ran towards them. "Let her go!" I said.

"She needs to be checked over. She could be hurt," he informed me.

"I have my own doctors for that." I wrapped an arm around her and he loosened his grasp.

"It's protocol. I have to check all the hostages. They can't leave until I give the order."

"Fuck you and your orders."

"Justin, stop." Embry was there to push me back. "He's just doing his job. Everything's fine."

"I'm taking her home."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Selena scowled at him.

"It's nice to see you too," he replied hurriedly. "You two can't leave. I need statements."

"Call me in the morning to set up a meeting. I need to get her home." I started to make my way towards the cars. "I've already broken enough rules tonight. Add another one."

"Oh my God, Justin!" Selena squeaked. "You're shot."

"What?"

"You've been shot." She pointed to my left shoulder. My shirt was ripped open and a chunk of skin was missing. It looked through-and-through.

"Seems that way." I hadn't even felt it.

Selena's fingers began taking apart my vest and she pulled it from my body. "You could have been killed." She was not happy.

"Can I just get you home before we start this?"

"No, we're doing this right now." She stomped over the medic's truck, and he shouted at her the entire time she was digging through his supplies. She came back with a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"First of all, why didn't you take Alec with you?" I asked her harshly.

"Because I didn't want to. I already have bodyguards. I don't need a babysitter."

"Obviously you do. You can't even go grocery shopping without getting in trouble."

She pulled off my shirt over my head. I felt the twinge of pain as I lifted my arms. "I went because we needed food and I even told you so it's not like I snuck out."

"I don't care. You can't just leave your phone in the car and expect me to swoop in every time to save you."

"They took our phones anyway!" She squirted some of the alcohol on my shoulder haphazardly.

It stung like fire. "Jesus Christ, Selena."

"That's what you get." She did it again. It stung worse.

"You can't be mad at me for helping you."

"I'm not. I'm grateful, but you got mad at me first."

"You're damned right. I'm furious. You put yourself in danger."

"It's wasn't like I planned it." She squirted me.

"Okay, stop it." I grabbed the bottle from her, throwing it on the ground. "I was fucking worried about you. I have the right to be mad."

She sighed, "I know and I'm sorry, but you're stressing me out. I can't even go to the grocery store anymore without being followed."

"You can't keep doing stupid things like this. Next time, we won't be so lucky." I pulled her close to me. "This is your life now. I warned you."

She nodded into my chest.

"Mr. Bieber, are you and the Mrs. fighting?" A reported pointed a camera in my face.

"No interviews," I said sternly and shoved him away. I took Selena's hand and pulled her towards Emmett's Hummer.

"What was it like in there, Mrs. Bieber? How many were lost?" someone else asked.

"No interviews." Alec was suddenly at my side, helping us guide our way through the attacking cameras.

"Take Selena home," I told him.

He nodded. "I already called the doctor. He's waiting for us."

"Good. And make sure he checks everything. If she's hurt I want to know."

He led her the rest of the way.

I turned around the face the reporters. "Call my secretary tomorrow. I'll set up a press conference in the morning. You can all ask questions then."

"How is the Mrs.? Is she allright?"

"I said tomorrow. And she's fine." I walked towards the white Mercedes I drove here.

"What about the rumors that Mrs. Bieber is pregnant? There have been pictures of you two leaving the doctor's office and she's starting to show. What do you have to say?"

We hadn't told anyone formally, but I knew we would have to make an announcement at some point. The press was hungry for it.

"No comment. No interviews." I got into the car. Their lights were still flashing. This was going to make national news probably.

I drove off and didn't even bother slowing down because of all the police as I headed in the direction of home, thankful that my wife was safe.

SELENA POV

"Run without a destination, and you'll finally see, what freedom can be. "-Anonymous

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer.

I sat next to Justin as we rode towards O'Hare airport in the back of the silver Aston Martin. William was driving and kept his eyes up front. I was more than ready for a couple weeks away. Especially after the grocery store debacle.

I was still a little shaken, but thankfully okay. Justin was going crazy, making sure that I was thoroughly checked by a private doctor when we got home, who assured me that I was physically fine. I wasn't even worried about myself at this point. I just wanted to make sure the baby wasn't harmed. He said that all was well. I had an ultrasound and for the first time, got to see what was growing inside of me.

It wasn't as life-changing as I thought it would be. I couldn't even detect the small bean-like figure on the screen. Justin said he could. I squinted my hardest, but still didn't see. I cried a little, though. Everything was fine.

When the doctor suggested that I might have psychological trauma from the hostage ordeal and needed to see a therapist, I had to stop myself from laughing in his face. I had seen Justin do far worse with a gun in his hand than what I had just been through. A little grocery store holdup was nothing in comparison. Justin wanted to cancel the trip because he was overly worried. I begged him not to. I really did want to go on some sort of honeymoon and now seemed as good a time as any to leave, although we did wait a couple more days.

Justin held a press conference to answer questions that reporters had on his involvement in the robbery. Of course, we had to talk to the police first and gave his statements. He didn't lie about anything. Justin stated exactly what he had done and why. Only one of the gunmen had been killed from his hand, but he claimed self defense and the videos showed that. He would probably have to testify at their trials later.

He made national news for his heroic efforts. I thought there would be more of a backlash for him walking into a grocery store with a semiautomatic weapon, but Justin was praised instead of criticized. He did receive a fine, though, for having a gun without a permit. He hated the attention. I don't even think we were supposed to leave the country right now, but that didn't stop him.

I looked over to my husband, who was reading this morning's paper. He had on his glasses and looked fairly calm. Over the weekend, the doctor had nursed his bullet wound, and Justin promised me that it was just was so strong, but his overconfidence in dangerous situations made me agonize at an unhealthy level. He wouldn't even let me look at the hole in his bicep, saying that I shouldn't worry over it.

We needed this vacation before real life overwhelmed us.

Everyone was coming, but Justin guaranteed me that we would have our alone time for a couple of days. One week in Spain turned into two, just because Justin said so. I wasn't complaining. I didn't know what he said to my boss, but he let me go.

"Sei eccitato per la vacanza?" I asked him if he was excited for our vacation.

"Certo. Ho bisogno di uno," he replied, telling me that he certainly needed one. "We will have fun. I promise."

"Should you be exerting yourself after your…injury?" I pointed to his shoulder, which was still wrapped in gauze, under his shirt.

He ground his teeth together, folding the paper. "I'm not dead, Selena."

"But you could be."

"So could you. It's just a minor scratch."

"You were shot," I reminded him.

"I'm fine. I don't know how many times I have to say that." He leaned across the seat, bringing his face close to my ear. "You shouldn't worry about me so much."

"I can't help it. It's my job."

"You'll give yourself an ulcer, not to mention added stress for the baby."

"I know."

"I got shot. I lived. We move on, okay?"

I nodded.

"Lo non vado da nessuna parte, ilmioamore,"he said, low and raspy.

His words made me blush.

"Just don't die on me."

"I promise. Are you alright?"

I nodded.

"Good." He kissed my temple before sitting back up again. "William, how much longer until we reach the airport?"

"A good fifteen minutes, sir. The traffic is atrocious."

"I hate this," he whispered harshly.

One of the conditions that Justin had to abide by when we came back to the States was that he couldn't fly private internationally. It irked him to no end.

"This is just their stupid way of keeping track of me. I don't like it, and I won't stand for it," he mumbled.

"It's not that bad, Justin. It's not like we're getting stuffed into the bottom of the plane with the dogs."

"I haven't flown on a public plane in…ever. This is ridiculous and highly embarrassing."

I rolled my eyes. "It's a small price to pay so that we could come home."

"I suppose." He looked out of the window at the slow moving traffic.

"It's the destination, not the journey," I said. "My grandmother always told me that."

"Nicola told me the opposite. It's always the journey; the destination doesn't matter. You learn more from the voyage."

"That's wrong," I replied matter-of-factually.

"Oh, really?" He chuckled. "Do you have evidence to the contrary?"

"My Grandma Swan was always right. She lived to be one-hundred and three, you know. She had wisdom."

"And Nicola didn't?"

"He had a different kind."

"You're argument isn't very sound, Selena."

"It doesn't have to be." I shrugged. "I'm your wife. You have to agree with me."

William snickered up front. Justin glared at him.

"I'm not used to losing arguments," he said. "You know that better than anyone."

"I'm just kidding." I shoved him. "Gosh, you're so uptight all the time."

"I have to be nowadays. My wife seems to think it's appropriate to go places without her cellphone, which makes it impossible for her to call me if she's say…in a hostage situation."

The mood turned somber fairly quickly. He was still pissed. On some level, I realized that I was the one who put him in harm. I should have just shot him myself. If I wouldn't have gone grocery shopping, none of this would have happened.

"Are we going to be brining this up for the rest of our lives?" I asked.

"Until I feel like you've learned your lesson, yes." He looked out of the window again.

"I'm not your daughter. You don't have to talk to me like that."

"Well then don't do things that warrant punishment."

The drive was silent after that.

We pulled up the unloading station in front of the airport sometime later. I thought I went to sleep, so I couldn't be sure how much time had passed. William turned off the engine, and Justin exited before he could even come to the door.

My door was ripped open and I was pulled out of the car rather roughly. "I have Mrs. Bieber. Make sure we have a clear path," the burly man said into his phone while holding onto me tightly.

I sighed in frustration.

The old bodyguards who I had become so accustomed to were replaced by large sentinels that were instructed to never leave my side. All forms of secrecy were thrown out of the window. People surely knew I was someone important now because of my entourage.

My personal guard was named Amun. He was an ex Israeli Mossad agent who had to be discharged after a stray bullet caused him some knee problems a couple of years ago. He was perfectly intimidating and scary, but just not fit enough to stay in the army. He could do his job, though.

He was massive, bigger than Emmett, with darkly tanned skin and short black hair. I had met him yesterday when Justin forced him upon me and basically said that he was my new best friend. Along with four other men with similar backgrounds and looks, our security detail was tight. No one was ever going to harm me again.

I glared at Justin.

"You brought this on yourself," he said to me, carrying the one small bag he was bringing as his carry-on.

"Why doesn't Rose have to have one? Or Alice?" I pointed behind us as they got out of their own cars.

"Because we're not stupid, Selena," Alice replied, and put on her gigantic sunglasses. "You could have been killed."

"I forgot my cellphone…once!" I wiggled free from Amun's grasp, but he didn't step back.

"I won't have you getting hurt again." Justin took over, guiding me forward with his hand.

We didn't have any luggage as we walked through the airport. Justin didn't trust public transportation with his "valuables", so our things were all shipped yesterday. They should be in Spain when we arrived.

People pointed and stared as the eight of us traveled in our caravan, along with the giant bodyguards that we'd brought. Emmett made me feel a little better when he said that they just weren't for me. Justin was beefing up security in every aspect of his life. We all looked like bums, though. There was no way in hell I was making a ten hour flight in a dress. I think everyone else thought the same way. Justin was actually wearing jeans. I almost never saw that.

We didn't have to wait in line for security, and I was tempted to ask why not, but felt it best to just stay quiet. In no time at all, we were through our gate and seated in our seats on the plane. It all happened very quickly and without any barriers.

The whole business-class cabin was ours. We had enough people for it. We were in neat rows and had several TVs around along with those inserted into our seats. I could see the cockpit up front. It was a very comfortable and spacious area.

Amun kept an eye on me from the corner while Justin sat to my left in his pod-looking, sleeper thing. I had never flown like this before. I found it strange. We even had a different entrance from everyone else. I chalked this up to Justin's inability to actually socialize. He would never make a long trip seated next to someone he didn't know.

Alice was to my right, chatting on about rare Spanish art…I think. I wasn't paying attention. I was trying to get relaxed.

"Is there anything you need?" A stewardess was at my side in an instant with a bright smile and shiny blonde hair, cut in a bob.

"Yes, I was wondering how people got comfortable in these things." I shuffled my body around in the pod. I must have looked like a fool.

"You have it in the sleeping setting, Mrs. Bieber." She pushed a button, and I started to lift into a seating position.

"Oh," I sighed in amazement, feeling the plush leather under my fingers, "This is much better."

"Anything else?"

"No, not right now. Thank you, though."

"Okay, well my name is Jill and I'll be here if you need anything. Just ask."

"She said she didn't need your assistance. Move along." Amun was there to protect, shooing Jill in the opposite direction. "Actually I need to speak with the air marshal. Where is he?"

"I can't reveal that information." Jill clasped her hands in front of her. "Please take you seat."

"I'll find him myself." Amun walked through the aisle towards a different part of the cabin.

"Sir…" She chased after him.

"That man is crazy." I said to Justin. "Why him?"

"He's not afraid to kill people."

I sat back in my seat without another word.

"That was embarrassing for you." Emmett popped his head from around the seat behind me and got incredibly close to my face. "You could have just asked me how to work the chair."

"You could have offered your help."

"But it was so much more fun to watch you struggle." He laughed.

"That's not funny." I crossed my arms.

"Awww. Don't get mad. The baby's going to be born with frown lines." He stared at my stomach. "Does it feel weird?"

"Not right now," I said.

"Did you throw up?"

"I did when I woke up."

"Can you feel it?"

"No, not yet."

"It's so strange to see you with a bump. You're going to be so fat." He snickered.

There was a gasp from behind me. "Emmett Lorenzo Bieber! You can't say that," Rose barked. "Stop bothering her."

"I was just wondering what I was in for…"

"It's like you have no home training. You're embarrassing us."

"I am not." He sat back and began arguing. I tuned them out.

I looked to Justin who was breathing deeply through his nose. In. Out. In. Out.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Have I ever told you that I hate flying?" he replied. I detected a slight quiver in his voice.

"You fly all over the world," I scoffed.

"Yeah, in my plane with my pilots. I don't know those men in the cockpit."

"Or women!" Alice corrected.

"Yes, thank you, Alice," Justin said. "I don't know who's flying this thing or what kind of certifications they have."

Emmett popped his head in again. "One time, when we were in high school, we flew on a class trip to New York. Justin passed out before we even took off. They had to call Carlisle to come and get him. He couldn't go with us."

"You never told me that," I commented.

"Because I don't want my shortcomings known to my wife," Justin growled. "And for your information, Emmett, I had a bad feeling about that whole trip, which turned out to be right."

"The same plane we used crashed a couple weeks later. We weren't on it, but it was still kind of scary." Emmett sucked on his teeth as if he were bored. "I guess Eddie is right sometimes."

"Idioto." Justin mumbled under his breath. "I still don't like flying."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." I reached across the aisle and took his hand.

"Maybe you just need to get comfortable." Alec took of his shoes and put his sock-clad feet on Justin's armrest.

Justin pushed them away. "I'm fine, thank you. Once we're in the air, I'll just sleep."

"Do you remember that time we flew into a storm going to Vancouver?" Jasper said to Emmett. "Justin almost shit in his pants."

"Oh, yeah." Emmett laughed. "That was funny."

"Leave him alone." Alice sat up in her seat. "I'm scared too, Justin."

"I'm not scared! I just don't like it. Airplanes are just gross. Not only are there strange people, who might have some kind of infection, but there are airborne parasites. You don't know what kind of hands areused to cook the food or how often they change the air filters. It's disgusting."

That shut everyone up. He was right.

"What is taking so long?" Justin craned his neck into the aisle.

"They're probably still boarding."

"We were supposed to leave fifteen minutes ago. Something must be wrong." He checked his watch.

"I'm sure it's fine."

Justin stood up and un-tucked his white button-down shirt. He pulled out a gun from behind his back and opened the overhead compartment. He placed it in his bag.

"You can't have that on a plane, Justin!" I whispered. "Are you crazy?"

"How else am I supposed to protect myself?" he said innocently.

"That's why we have bodyguards."

"Yeah, right," he sneered.

"I can't believe you brought a gun on board." I sunk into my seat, embarrassed and ashamed.

"It's not like I'm going to use it." Justin sat back down.

"You could get arrested."

"It's okay, Selena. Carlisle owns part of this airline. We pay to have certain privileges," Jasper said from in front of me.

"The FFA might have something to say about it."

"They can suck my dick," Justin replied, taking out his medicine. He had four different bottles of pills, from which he gathered several in his palm. He swallowed them easily and then shivered as they went down.

"This is going to be some trip." I shook my head.

Jill began to walk up the aisle quickly in preparation for takeoff. Justin stopped her.

"Two things. One, I'm expecting a call in a couple hours."

"Yes, sir. We can receive it from the ground and I'll put you through when necessary."

"Thank you. Two, once we're in the air, I need a basil martini," he said.

"A…basil martini, sir?" she responded, clearly confused.

Justin was already looking frustrated and snapped his mouth shut. He was about to rant.

I interrupted by tapping her on the arm, "Vodka, Vermouth, a dash of balsamic vinegar, and four crushed basil leaves. No ice. Absolutely no ice. He hates ice," I stressed.

She looked at me and nodded. "Shall I place it in the cooler?"

"Yes, and make sure the basil is crushed, not chopped. Just small flakes."

"Would everyone like one?" Jill asked us.

"No, that sounds gross." Jasper trembled in disgust.

"The basil calms his nerves," I said to her. "The balsamic vinegar puts him to sleep. It's strange, but it works."

"Oh, that makes sense." She smiled. "Thanks for the tip." She scurried off.

"I miss being a bartender. You have to tell people…calmly what you want." I bit my lip, waiting for his response.

"Well, thank you for that." He sighed. "I was about to have her fired."

"Not everyone knows what a basil martini is. And you shouldn't even be drinking with your medication."

"Sometimes, little things like that escape me," he admitted.

"That's why you have me. I'm truly your better half."

Justin looked at me as realization spread across his face. "I never thought of it like that. Interesting."

"That's what a marriage is for." I leaned back in my seat.

Takeoff was a couple of minutes later. Justin had a hard time with that, but tried not to show it. He was brought his drink and started to doze off soon after. An hour later, the sun was going down and everyone had sunk into the pods to sleep.

Unfortunately, I didn't have that pleasure. I had to get up for the bathroom too frequently. It was torture. I was warned that pregnancy might make you pee more, but I always thought that was in a couple of months when I was bigger. Rose told me that the prenatal vitamins also add to the added urination.

Every time I got up to go, Amun was there to baby me along.

"Don't you ever sleep?" I asked him on my most recent trip to the fairly large bathroom up front.

"No, ma'am. Never," he answered. I think he was joking. He almost pushed me back into my seat. "Make sure to buckle up."

"Last time I checked, I left my father back in Forks," I snapped unintentionally.

He grunted in reply before going back to his seat.

This was my fault, but it was going to get old pretty quickly. I didn't think Justin would ever let me out of the house alone again.

Finally, I was able to sleep and what a good sleep it was. I don't think I even came up for air and I wasn't quite sure how long I stayed in slumber, but it must have been a good couple of hours. I was putting this pod thing on my wish list for Christmas. It was magical.

I woke up with a full bladder, but well rested. The cabin was dark as I rushed to the bathroom. When I came back out, Amun was there.

"Should I invite you into the room when I give birth?" I commented.

"I'm not sure Mr. Bieber would allow that, but I will be right outside. Screams don't scare me." He smirked.

I plopped back down in my seat.

Everyone else was still sleeping and looked rather peaceful. I was far too excited to rest again. I was going to Spain! I had never really been anywhere before besides my recent, short trip to Italy and of course Brazil. Justin said that Spain was his favorite European country so I was excited to see what it had to offer. Plus, it was my mock-honeymoon. That brought about a whole new wave of exhilaration.

I stole one of Alice's gossip magazines and busied myself with its contents for awhile. I then switched to playing one of Jasper's Sudoku puzzles. He was a math genius and could complete even the hardest of problems in minutes. I—could not.

Jill rushed over to me. "Mrs. Bieber, can I get you anything? You slept through dinner."

"I am actually hungry." The thought of food made my stomach suddenly rumble. "I'll just have whatever you served."

"You'll be having braised chicken, a large salad, along with some roasted vegetables. Mr. Bieber specified that you were to have the healthy meal."

"Of course he did," I exhaled. "That's fine."

"Okay. Do you think Mr. Bieber would be hungry?"

"Not right now."

"Also, his call came in about an hour ago. We got disconnected, but they're about to call again. Shall I wake him up?"

"No, I'll do it."

"It's not problem, Mrs. Bieber." She reached her hand out towards Justin.

"No!" I said, but she didn't pull back and it was too late.

Big mistake.

Even in his slumber, he was a lethal man. Jill made contact with his shoulder and Justin sprung into action. His hand snapped up and grasped her around the neck. He pulled her down so that her face was on his lap and his fingers dug into her flesh.

"Justin, no!" I jumped out of my seat and ran across the aisle.

Jill whimpered in pain as he grabbed harder. He was muttering something I couldn't hear and looked possessed. Her arm was twisted in an awkward way that was clearly causing massive amounts of pain. It would only be a matter of seconds until I heard the pop of her shoulder.

"Please, don't do this…"

I started to pull on his arm, and with my touch, he easily relinquished his hold. Justin took a breath like he had been submerged under water for hours. Jill was on the floor, a heaping mess of sobs and gasps.

"Justin, it's okay. It was just the stewardess." I cupped his face in my hands, feeling a day's worth of stubble under my palms.

"What the fuck…" He swiveled his head around in confusion.

"She wasn't trying to hurt you, I swear."

He calmed down almost instantly. He blinked a couple of times and that was it. "I don't like being touched, let alone when I'm sleeping."

"I know, I know. I tried to stop her."

"I didn't mean to hurt her." Justin actually looked somewhat remorseful.

"It's okay." I hugged him close to me, and he hugged me back. It was a very intimate moment amongst the chaos that had just erupted in our cabin.

Jasper and Emmett had woken up from the noise. They were trying to compose Jill. Amun, who had some sort of medical training, was checking her over. She just wept into Jasper's shirt and wouldn't let go. He ended up carrying her down the aisle to her station.

"That was badass." Emmett huffed, taking his seat again. "I thought I was dreaming."

"I didn't mean to hurt her," Justin said again.

"I know. She'll be fine," I assured him. "Do you want me to sit with you?"

He leaned back in the seat, angry and aggravated. "I need another martini."

Since Jill was the only stewardess in our cabin and was currently indisposed of, I took it upon myself to get the drink. She had made a lot of it and just kept the shaker in the small cooler up front. I found a glass and poured him a liberal amount.

"Hey, Selena, when you have a chance, can you get me another pillow?" Jasper re-took his seat.

"She's not your fucking maid," Justin snarled. "Get it yourself."

"Alright, alright." Jasper held his hands up in surrender.

I brought Justin his drink.

"Thank you," he said, taking it from me. He gulped it down. "Where is she? Is she alright? What's her name?"

"Jill." I answered. "I think she's okay."

"Why did she have to do that?"

"She was trying to tell you that your phone call came in."

"What?" His head whipped around. "And she didn't wake me?"

"Justin, she tried." I rolled my eyes. "You almost killed her, or did you forget that?"

"Oh, yeah." His brow furrowed. "I'll just write her a check or something."

"And apologize," I scolded.

Justin whined, "Selena, it was her fault. And I believe I did hear you warn her not to."

"That still doesn't make up for the fact that you strangled our poor stewardess. She could be traumatized."

Jill reappeared with a tear stained face and shaking limbs. Her hair was an absolute mess. "I'm…I'm sorry…I didn't mean…."

Justin just looked at her, his eyes a mixture of pity and annoyance. "That's quite alright."

"They're sending someone else up so that I can take a little break." She smiled sadly, clutching her throat. Deep bruise marks were already starting to appear.

I nudged him. Justin seemed to get the message. "Oh, um…well, thank you for helping us. It was rude of you to wake me up, but I didn't mean to act so irrationally."

"That's okay. It's no big deal." She shook her head. "I'm going to rest now. If you need anything, they'll have another stewardess up in a second."

"Thanks, Jill." Alice patted her on the back.

"You're a trooper." Emmett slow clapped as she made her exit.

I glared at Justin who was looking pleased with his "apology".

"You didn't say you were sorry."

"I did," Justin argued, "and I am."

That was that.

The rest of the trip ride actually seemed more relaxed. I never saw Jill again. I didn't think I would. I think our tranquility had something to do with the fact that we were nearing our destination, and Justin had a few glasses of alcohol in him, which always loosened his tenseness. None of us really went back to sleep.

Alice and I watched a couple of movies. Justin disappeared for about an hour to tend to his mystery call. He came back with a smile, but wouldn't tell me why. Emmett, Jasper, and Alec played several rowdy rounds of poker, which ended in heated debate. Jane and Rose kept to themselves most of the way there.

"Ladies and gentleman, if you could take your seats, we are making our descent into Barcelona," the captain said over the speaker. "The current temperature is a cool seventy. We will be landing shortly."

I was getting really excited. I leaned over Justin to look out of the window, thinking I might be able to see something, but we were still in the clouds.

"Selena, you have to put your seatbelt on," Justin told me worriedly. "Sixty percent of airplane crashes occur during takeoff or landing." He actually picked me up and fastened the belt across my stomach.

"I could've done that."

"And argued with me the whole time. It was just easier to do it myself." He smirked, but I wasn't swayed. I was still kind of mad at him for almost killing Jill. He acted like it didn't happen.

Half an hour later, the plane had landed and we were free to leave our seats. We got through customs, getting our passports checked and all the regulatory papers signed.

The May air was perfect; not too hot, but certainly not cold. The sky felt cleaner, the sun shone brighter, and my eyes were opened to a whole new world. We were just in the airport!

"What do we do first?" I asked as Justin held my hand. We were walking briskly, and I could feel Amun nearly on my ass.

"First, you need rest."

"I've had rest. I want to go do something."

"Once we get to the villa, you're taking a long nap. You need to take it easy, especially after this weekend. You're still not recuperated."

"The doctor said I was fine."

"I know what's best. Just trust me."

"Then can we go out later?"

"Yes, Selena," he chuckled, "I promise."

We all continued to walk and I caught snippets of everyone's conversations. They seemed to be just as excited as I was. This was our first family vacation since…Well, in a long time.

"Those are our cars." Justin pointed across the street where five impressive-looking, black vehicles waited. Drivers were there to hold our doors.

"They look nice," I said. I had never really been into cars that much.

Alice rushed past us towards. "Oh, Justin got us Maybachs!"

"What's a Maybach?" I asked, looking up him.

He shook his head, ashamed in me. "Selena, your husband imports international cars and you don't know what a Maybach is?"

"Sorry, no," I said, even though I wasn't.

"It's a beautifully sculpted piece of machinery." We reached the car, and he ran his hands over the smooth, black metal."The only good thing to come out of Germany since the printing press."

"Okay…" I shrugged to myself.

Amun came running up from behind us, hauling the medium sized dog-carrier. Francis growled from inside, clearly not liking the jerking movements.

"I still don't see why we had to bring him." Justin rolled his eyes.

"Alec begged me," I said, reaching out to unlock the crate when Amun put the carrier down. Francis wobbled out, almost as if he was drunk, and his fat legs crossed in front of each other as he tried to walk.

Francis was an obedient dog, and a little afraid of Justin, I think. So he would never run away from us and rarely used a leash. He went pee in a small patch of grass near us and looked very proud of himself while doing so. He must have recognized the change of location because he started to explore when he was done.

Justin ran over and lifted him up. "It's time to go, dog."

I scooted into the backseat and was surprised at how spacious it was. It certainly didn't look this big from the outside. It was roomy and the seats leaned at an angle that made me want to fall asleep again, but I couldn't. I had to stay awake and see the landscape that was passing by as we drove. Francis sat inbetween us, whipping his head back and forth, enjoying the ride.

"I can take you to all these places." Justin pointed out the window to the city. "I spent a year here, studying."

"Did you even go to school in the States? It seems like you were always out of the country for something or other when you were young."

"I didn't like grade schools in Chicago and detested Dartmouth with a passion."

"No one understood you?" I guessed.

"Precisely." He humorlessly laughed, probably making a joke in his head about something I wouldn't understand.

I looked back out of the window. I was overwhelmed. Barcelona seemed like a lively city, but the best part about it was the ocean. It was so close and so blue, but not the kind I was used to seeing in Forks or even Brazil. This blue looked to be glowing in the sun.

Francis climbed onto Justin so that he could see better out of the larger-than-normal windows that the Maybach provided. Those two were quite the pair. Justin would treat Francis like dirt most of the time, but the dog didn't mind. He loved Justin unconditionally. I think the same could be said the other way around.

The driver weaved through the city. Amun, up front, kept telling him to slow down in Spanish, but I didn't mind the speed as we climbed the hills of Barcelona. I couldn't see much on the trip to our house, though I was already enthralled by the city. It was breathtaking and had a different vibe to it from any other place I had visited. It was bohemian and chic, with a hint of new world neurosis that we were all used to. But the history was everywhere; the streets, churches, buildings, fountains. It was all so old, but I was looking at it through new eyes.

Justin chuckled and I looked at him. "What?"

"Nothing." He shook his head, petting Francis behind the ears.

"No, tell me."

"You just look…so happy." His finger traced over the curve of my lips, memorizing my smile.

"I am happy."

He leaned in close. "I like to see you happy and I hope you have a wonderful time."

"Thank you for bringing me." I could feel my cheeks spread wider.

"Seeing you joyful, makes me feel good." He kissed the corner of my mouth, whispering, "Questo è quelloche vivo per, Selena."

This is what I live for.

The villa was…just massive. Too big for the eight of us, but I guessed we now had to accommodate not only an army of bodyguards, but wait staff as well.

"They're necessary, Selena," Justin told me. "You're not to lift a finger. Is that understood?"

I just nodded.

There were cooks, and cleaners, and even a dog groomer. They all had smiles and looked very pleased to be with us. I'm sure they were saying nasty things in their heads, though. Mr. Bieber, as he liked to be called by the staff, was already being sullen and snapped at a girl who spilled his water when bringing it to him. I would have to be extra nice to make up for his nastiness.

The house's floor plan was open so that all the rooms on the lower level basically stayed connected. High ceilings and grand staircases intimidated me as I looked up. All the floors were covered in expensive rugs or rustic Spanish tiles. There was a courtyard that was teeming with vegetation that I had never seen before. A soft fountain sprayed water, and the breeze flowed through easily so that it wasn't so hot.

The rooms were big and the beds, bigger. Justin had to lift me onto ours when I wanted to test it out. Francis couldn't even jump up. Balconies overlooked the city, and since we were on a large hill, it was easy to see Barcelona in its entirety below us. My nap was forgone because I was too damn excited.

"This is amazing." I sat down at the long table in the courtyard next to Rose. Small trays of tapas were laid out for our arrival along with tall pitchers of lemonade and sangria.

Alice was flipping through travel guides. Jane was giggling shamelessly at Alec and Francis, who were running around in the grass.

"Two weeks in the Spanish sun. I'm super excited and quite impressed with Justin at the moment," she agreed with me. "Your husband did well. He's thorough about your happiness, if nothing else."

"He does too much for me." I hung my head.

"What you can't give him in material things you can give him in sex." Alice leaned back in her chair, taking in the rays.

"That makes her sound like a whore," Jane piped in.

"She's having his baby. That's gift enough." Alec sat and took a sip of red liquid from Jane's glass. It clearly wasn't lemonade.

"He acts like I'm not." I put my hand over my stomach, which was growing every day. I had already changed out of my travel clothes and was in a light blue sundress. You couldn't see my belly since it was flowing around me.

Rose shook her head in disgust. "I just don't get that kid. He's happy for you one second and then he's complaining the next."

"Well, we're all happy," Jane assured me.

"He is so happy," Alec argued for his brother. "Justin's just confused. He's never been through this before."

"And Selena has?" Rose snapped.

Alec and I looked at each other, a silent conversation about Elizabeth playing between us. They all knew about what I went through, but sometimes could be insensitive about the subject. I think they forgot. I would never forget.

Before I could say anything, Justin strode into the courtyard.

"My ears were burning. Who's talking about me?" he joked.

There was a chorus of fake responses. He just raised his eyebrows and sat next to me. "We leave in the morning."

"And where are we going?" I asked.

"To be alone." He grinned.

"But we just got here," Alice pouted. "We're all supposed to be together. This is a family vacation."

"First and foremost, this is a honeymoon," Justin corrected. "We'll be back, though. I just want to spend a couple of days away with my beautiful, blushing bride."

"Awwwww," Alec cooed.

"Shut up," I mumbled and placed my lips on Justin's.

It was late afternoon when we arrived, and as the sun started to go down, I wondered when I was supposed to sleep. I figured I needed rest at some point, but I wasn't really tired. Justin said that 'jet lag' was just a figment of our imagination, and we shouldn't buy into it. He told me to just sleep as I normally would.

That night, we had a traditional Spanish barbeque. A cook brought out a whole pig and roasted it over an open fire for a couple of hours. It was amazing. I didn't really know what all the dishes were, but I trusted Justin to steer me away from anything I shouldn't be eating.

"So, what is the real reason we're here?" Rose asked as we sat around the table outside, gorging ourselves on delicious cuisine.

"Fun," Justin replied, it sounding more like a question.

"It's never fun with you Justin." Jane giggled, only slightly tipsy from the red wine.

"I can have fun," he argued. "Tell 'em, Selena."

"He can have fun," I said dryly. Everyone started to laugh.

"We have business. That's all you need to know." Emmett kissed Rose gently. "Don't worry your pretty little head."

"Worrying is a part of the job description." Alice poked him with her fork. "We have to worry or we'll go crazy because we aren't worrying. We live a very stressful life being the wives of you three."

I nodded. I knew that better than anyone else.

"I just don't think you should." Jasper shrugged. "We know how to take care of ourselves and it's not like we always do dangerous things."

"Every time one of you go out for 'business' and the phone rings, I debate on whether I should get it or not. It could be the police or…the hospital." Rose looked genuinely conflicted. She loved Emmett, but didn't love what he did. I was similar.

"And I've seen enough cop shows to know what happens to men like you." Alice nodded. "It's scary."

"Hell, my father is a cop." Of course, everyone knew that already.

"You live completely unrealistic lives. How can you go into a grocery store and shoot the place, but walk away without consequences." Alice continued.

"I do have consequences to deal with. I just suffer in silence and take it like a man." Justin challenged.

"Still, it's scary. One day, you're luck is going to run out."

"And it's worse when you don't tell us anything." Rose took a sip of her wine.

I nodded vigorously. "That's physically painful."

I didn't think we had ever had this talk altogether before. They knew we didn't like it when they went off, but Jasper, Emmett, Justin, and Alec seemed to be taking our words to heart. They were listening to our lecture with interested ears and not scoffing like I thought they would.

"But it's the worst with Selena." Jane pointed to me. "I know it must be."

"Why?" Justin asked, concerned.

"Because you're such a fucking hothead," Rose scolded. "I can basically predict what Emmett's going to do and say when conflict arises in a sticky situation. He'll be safe. You, who knows? You could get into a fight with someone over a parking ticket and end up pulling out your gun. It scares her."

"And she broke down crying last week when you went off to talk to Magicavallo. She was terrified. I had to make her tea and we stayed up half the night." Alice's face fell in sympathy.

I hadn't told him that and could feel his eyes on me, wondering if it was true.

There was silence around the table for awhile. I felt Francis butting his head up against my leg, so I picked him up and held him close to me. I couldn't look at Justin.

Jasper cleared his throat. "Okay, enough with the heavy stuff. This is vacation. Let's play a game."

"Oh, a game," Alice cheered. "A sex game."

We all groaned. Alice was infamous for her sex games. She was nosy and wanted to know about everything we did under the sheets. Her "games" usually involved some form of embarrassing questioning, and everyone tried to outdo one another. Surprisingly, we were always very open about this kind of thing. No one was embarrassed.

Justin put his arm over the back of my chair, but didn't say anything about the conversation we just had. We wouldn't talk about it later, either. We would never talk about it. The subject of me worrying over him was a forbidden topic in our house.

"Okay, I'll start." Rose turned to us. "When was the first time each of you had sex? And no one can get mad about the answers. I was thirteen."

"Jesus," I breathed out, mostly to myself.

"Did you even enjoy it?" Alice's mouth dropped open in shock.

"I was a very sexual girl. I developed early." Rose had never made excuses for her sexual prowess and wasn't ashamed of it in the slightest. "He was my French teacher and I was a young freshman, finding my way. It was glorious."

"Slut," Justin said, not so quietly.

"My turn." Jasper sat up. "I was fifteen. We had a project to do for anatomy class." He waggled his eyebrows.

Jane spoke next, "I was fifteen, too. My brother's best friend."

"We all know shorty over here hasn't done anything." Emmett ruffled Alec's hair. "His dick is going to dry up and shrivel off."

"I'm waiting." Alec punched him, doing little damage.

Jane blushed; I could see it, even though it was dark outside and the table was only lit in small candles.

"I'll get there when I'm good and ready." Alec nodded with finality.

"Cute," Justin said under his breath with a hint of sarcasm.

"I was fourteen," Emmett said. "I don't even remember her name." He tapped his chin.

"That's sad." Alice pursed her lips. "I was sixteen and had a horrible experience. I didn't know what to do with…it. I just let him stick it wherever and I didn't even feel anything."

We all laughed. Francis looked around like we were all crazy.

"I was seventeen and it was at prom." I bit my lip. "Pretty normal stuff."

Justin was the last to go. Everyone was looking at him.

"What counts as sex?" he asked, trying to beat around the bush. "Because technically…"

"When you stick your penis in a vagina," Rose said slowly. "Intercourse. Penetration. When you buried your cock into her wet…"

"Alright, alright," I shouted. "We get it."

She shrugged.

Justin exhaled and ran a hand over his hair. I didn't think he was going to answer.

"He was twelve." Emmett did for him. "Nicola took him to a strip club and paid for pussy, but I'm sure Justin could get it anyway. The girls loved him."

Justin never liked talking about this. He blamed many of his problems now on his early sexual experiences. I think it traumatized him a little.

I took his hand under the table. He nodded in conformation.

"I think her name was Stacy or something." He took a pull from his wine, finishing that conversation.

"What a stripper name." Alice rolled her eyes. "Okay, new question."

"What is one thing your partner won't let you do in the bedroom?" Jasper quirked an eyebrow. "Alice won't let me tie her up."

"I can't do it." She shook her head adamantly. "I don't like being confined. No, it's out of the question."

"Rose won't do anal." Emmett sipped his beer.

"What?" Jane asked in surprise. "You must not be doing it right."

We all looked at her.

"It can be fun if you do it right." She put her hands up to demonstrate. "First, you just have to stretch because…"

"Stop!" Jasper clapped a hand over her mouth. "None of that talk around the table."

"Ask Alice." Jane tilted her head. "She does it."

"I do not!" Alice squeaked, "Once. Okay, maybe twice."

Jasper held up ten fingers proudly. "At least that many."

She giggled, "He's lying."

Justin and I had never…done that. I hadn't done enough research on that to consider it a possibility. He never asked or pushed and I just didn't find it necessary. Obviously, Jane had experience.

"All I'm saying is that you have to prepare. You can't just stick it up there and expect everything to feel good," Jane told Rosalie. "Be adventurous."

"Congratulations." Emmett nodded to Alec. I didn't think he understood.

"Justin won't let me give him a blowjob, I said innocently.

There were various forms of protest from around the table—men and women alike. Justin choked on his wine and looked at me with wide eyes. He wasn't mad, though. Just shocked.

"I don't believe that," Jasper mocked. "You're lying."

"No, it's true," I affirmed. "I've never been able to give him one. He always stops me."

To be honest, I actually liked giving them,I think. I was told I was good at them in high school from the two guys I had relationships with. Then there was Mike, but he was up for anything. I could have stuck his penis in a light socket and his eyes would have been as good as rolled back.

"Look, "Justin held his hands up, "it's not like I don't enjoy getting them, but why should we do that kind of stuff? It's degrading for her."

"No, it's not," Emmett jeered.

"Quite the opposite." Alice's brow crinkled. "It gives us power in the bedroom. It's fun for us. Well, of course, there are some girls who don't like to do it, but that's their choice. Selena doesn't seem to mind."

I shook my head. "I would do it if he let me."

"This is just sad." Jasper tsked. "And here I thought you two were wild sex fiends."

"Do you go down on her?" Alec asked him.

Justin nodded, a smirk on his lips. I hit his shoulder.

Cocky bastard.

"So then what's the problem? It's reciprocation."

"I just don't like seeing her down there," Justin said. "It might feel good, sure, but I don't like thinking about it."

"I feel something more." Alice eyed him with suspicion.

He sighed. "I had sex the first time at twelve, but my first sexual experience was at eleven; another stripper. She gave me a blowjob and said that she hated doing it because she was powerless on her knees. I don't ever want Selena powerless."

Justin's words were profound and incredibly sweet, even though the context was slightly inappropriate.

"You'll never be powerless." He kissed the side of my face. "Besides, blowjobs are juvenile."

"That's true," Rose agreed. "Every middle schooler these days knows how to bob their heads up and down, but it's fun."

"Like anal sex can be fun," Jane shot at her.

"That is not what I had in mind! It could hurt."

"That's why you stretch!"

My little blowjob problem was forgotten after that. Justin laughed at the jokes everyone made and how incredibly crazy we were being in our discussion on sex.

All too soon, we were all starting to get sleepy or maybe just drunk. Well, not me, but I could have lied down for a bit.

Justin carried me up the stairs and into our giant bedroom. All our clothes had been unpacked and put away nicely by the staff,who I never saw unless we asked for something.

He gently laid me on the bed and I sunk into the sheets. "I'm going to go take a shower and then come back to show you just how fun sex can be without silly blowjobs."

"Can't I take a shower with you?" I asked, panting since his hands were already creeping up my thighs, making them burn in anticipation.

"No, I need to ravish you in a bed where we have room to…spread out."

"Oh, my," I gasped as his lips descended on my exposed collarbone.

"Would you like to shower first?" he asked, nipping behind my ear, talking slowly and deeply.

"Uh…no. I'll go after you." I threaded my fingers into his hair.

"All that talk about sex downstairs got me very hot." His lips trailed down my cheek until they reached my neck again. "God, your skin is so soft."

"Fuck…" I lifted my hips up for pressure against him.

"Say it again," he mumbled, his face now in between my breasts. He had pulled down my sundress, and I was bare on top.

"Fuck," I screamed when his teeth raked across my nipple.

"I love it when you curse. It's so sexy." He kissed lower, taking my dress down with him. "You're so innocent, but when I get you in my bed, you turn into this…I don't even know. Say more bad stuff."

I giggled as his lips opened, and he breathed hot breath over my upper thighs. My dress was gone completely. I shuddered as the air hit my skin, now wet by his kisses.

"I don't know what to say." I could feel myself blush. I had never been one for dirty talk.

"Say, 'pussy'," he commanded.

"Pussy," I whispered.

"Louder."

"Pussy!"

"Forget the shower." Justin ripped off his shirt, buttons popping over me. I felt his skin against mine when he lied back on top of me. "Will this hurt the baby?"

"No," I gasped again when his hand pressed between my legs, feeling my folds and taking his sweet time pushing a finger into me. I pulled at his hair, an encouragement to go further.

"Get up," he instructed, removing his hand.

"What?" I pouted.

Justin gently picked me up and turned me around. "On all fours, Selena."

"Oh." I exhaled through my mouth, taken by surprise by his tone. I liked it.

When I didn't move quicklyenough for him, he lifted me until I was on my knees. Justin roughly took my hands and placed them on the headboard in front of us, shoulder-width apart.

"Tenerli lì,"he said.

Keep them there.

I nodded.

His voice and his accent and his tone and his commands…I was so hot, I thought the smoke detectors might go off.

"I don't want you to stay quiet tonight," Justin told me, breaking our usual rule. Alec would always complain if we were too loud. "I want you to scream until your lungs burn. Let them know how good I can make you feel. Make everyone know."

"I can do that," I panted.

His hand trailed down my back, pushing me down so that I arched a little. He slinked his long fingers over my skin, creating lanes of pure fire in their wake.

"So soft…" I heard him whisper. His hands were now trailing over my butt and went between my crack. I shuddered. Lower, he went until he was again between my legs. He spread them wide. I clutched the headboard so hard, my nails screamed out in pain.

Justin's tongue was wet and hot all at the same time as he licked me slowly. I was already drenched with my arousal, but he created more of a flood. I couldn't take it. I tried to back up so that his tongue would be inside me, but he kept using the pad, creating slow torturous movements.

"You're always ready for me." His speech was mumbled, but I heard.

"It's a blessing and a curse." I whimpered when he curled his tongue upwards and grazed my clit with the tip. He didn't add fingers, and I was afraid to ask him to. Another clit brushing and I was done.

I shook from pleasure. My whole body was exhausted, and I wanted to collapse, but his hands were suddenly on mine, grasping the headboard. I didn't have any time to recover before he was fully inside of me. He was solid. Pure rock, filling me to capacity, and I screamed out just how good it felt.

"Louder, Selena," he said in a dominating tone.

I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed to shout. His hands pushed onto mine with each thrust of his hips. He filled me again and again and again…taking me from behind. Justin was deep inside,and each time he entered, I would cry out in ecstasy.

The headboard hit the wall and started to creak. I think he wanted to break it. I wouldn't mind if he did.

Justin spread my legs even wider as we both neared our finish. He knew my body so well that we didn't even have to talk about out impending orgasms. We were always in sync. It took three more thrusts before I was done. I couldn't hold on any longer and quivered my release.

I couldn't scream anymore, so my voice sounded kind of like a bird being strangled as I told him just how much I loved him. He came shortly after, pushing into me one last time. I could feel wetness…everywhere. And I liked it. I wanted more. I craved it.

His hard chest hit my back and he pulled my hair to one side, placing kisses on my neck. "Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head. "Was I loud enough?"

He chuckled darkly. "Yes. I think they now know just how much hard I can fuck you."

"Is that all this was, just to prove your sexual authority to your brothers?"

"Among other things, yes," he replied candidly.

"I don't mind that at all." I knew I should, but I didn't.

Our hands were still on the headboard, because I didn't think I could physically lift them away. We were forever cemented to that spot.

"I want to pull out of you, but…I can't. I refuse to." He pushed his hips deeper. I could feel him reaching as far as he could and it was gloriously painful.

"I think we woke everyone up."

"I hope so, Selena. Those lungs of yours could probably wake the dead. I liked hearing that," he said with urgency. "We should rest. We have a long day tomorrow."

With what sounded like pain, he slid out of me. I still couldn't move.

Justin was off of the bed, but came back a couple of seconds later. "I've got you, Selena." He pried off each of my fingers from the wood, but they still felt stiff.

He cradled me in his arms and turned me over to lie on my back.

"I didn't mean to be so rough." He sounded remorseful.

"Yes you did." I laughed softly. "That's okay, though."

I saw him take a wet washcloth and wipe down my thighs, which were still shakingHe then took the material and placed it between my legs, letting the warmness heat me up. It felt incredibly good. He ran it up and down my slit, not sexually, but caringly.

"I should have constrained myself." Justin continued to rub me clean. His fingers were so light on my sensitive areas, nothing like his touch a couple minutes ago. The heat was incredibly soothing. "You'll be sore in the morning."

"Stop it." I lifted myself up with as much force as I had left. His hand didn't move from between my legs. "I wanted more."

He grinned in the darkness. "Then you shall have it, but not tonight. Right now, we sleep."

Justin kissed my forehead and laid me onto the sheets. I felt him climb in next to me, his chest, once again, hitting my back. His arm draped over me protectively.

"Goodnight, Selena." His lips touched my head one last time.