#anyway. this feels like SUCH a stupid thing 2 be posting abt but. well it’s my stupid blog….

[rollercoasterwords]

ok top 5 least favorite parts of that article lol:

1. taylor sings on her tour even when she’s stressed!! (she did have to reschedule one night after a girl died bc of unsafe conditions. taylor was so sad 💔)

2. girls have been told that our natural feminine interests, like love and glitter, are silly. but if we monetize those things, then more “female art” gets made! #feminism

3. horcruxes, infinity stones, gandalf

4. i thought about bringing up the fact that taylor’s career never actually died or even suffered that greatly, but then i decided not to, because what matters is that she felt canceled

5. “female rage”

[twig-gy]

okay but whenever proshippers say [thing i have literally never heard anyone say or consider saying] that’s really gross which is why i hate them

[kingusukaras]

some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you

read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️

i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing

(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)

for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people

the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey

the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures

(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)

(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)

[bigtittiecomitte]

“Envy and Thuzi was supposed to be endgame but they changed their mind for Nuzi”

Oh boy. I hate this phrase and I dislike anyone that says this phrase and BELIEVE that Envy and Thuzi were supposed to be the canon ships. I keep seeing this phrase from toxic shippers that just can’t accept that there were no signs of those two ships of even happening and I really want to talk about the stupid misinformation of it because if there’s a thing that toxic shippers love doing the most….it’s spread misinformation.

‼️This is not a hate post about ships, I just want to talk abt how silly it is‼️

Let’s start off with an actual fact about the show! Liam wrote the scripts for each episode before episode 2, everything was planned for a reason it did not just happen out of the blue, you can tell by specific posts that Glitch made in (Glitch posting abt Beau a year ago) and some Reddit posts of the Liam qna has a lot of interesting things so I definitely recommend checking that out. So no, Nuzi can’t be fanservice if it was planned before the ship became a popular thing, people just say it’s fanservice bc they hate seeing a crowd of people happy even though they’d be just like Nuzi shippers if N and V held hands instead

I kinda have a lot to say abt Envy so I’ll just talk about Thuzi first. Thuzi (the ship between Thad and Uzi) wouldn’t have happened in canon and it’s very simple to see why it wouldn’t work out, first of all Thad hasn’t been shown ANYWHERE ever since episode 4 and I don’t think he’ll ever been seen again unless they go inside the bunker and although people say that Thad is gone bc of his voice actor being problematic I think he was always supposed to be written out (reminder that the show was written before all of that va drama). Thad didn’t really have a role to be honest he was just kinda there lol which is what wouldn’t work out between him and Uzi since they haven’t talked since episode 2, if Liam wanted Thuzi to be endgame then he would’ve made them interact more, get people invested into the ship before it would become canon but the pilot is the only episode where Thad and Uzi properly interact (I would count episode 2 but there really weren’t any shipping moments between the two unless it’s that scene where Thad pops in but that was just Uzi being all awkward lol). I’d like to add that we have no idea how Thad feels about Uzi, he’s just friendly with everyone so it’s tough to know if Thad even likes Uzi because he hasn’t shown any sign that he has, anyways that’s just my view on Thuzi lol

Envy is a ship filled with miscommunication and I’m not going to deny that. Envy (ship between N and V) is the rival ship of N and Uzi and is the 2nd most popular ship, in my opinion, it’s not a good one at all and this isn’t because I’m a Nuzi shipper, it’s because of the toxicity of it, N and V in their DD forms is very toxic and dysfunctional, V is an okay character but people should acknowledge that V was incredibly mean to N (Ignoring him, physically assaulting him, etc) obviously it’s because of everything that happened in the mansion but that doesn’t justify her actions, N is also pretty mean to V too (insulting her, physically assaulting her, etc) I don’t blame him but it still shouldn’t be justified, couples shouldn’t be mean and hurt each other which is where the miscommunication comes into place. N and V don’t talk about their feelings, they don’t talk about why they’re the way that they are with each other, they just don’t communicate, the only positive interaction I’ve seen them have is only when they are Worker Drones but that’s it, as I said in that reblog of people blaming Uzi and wishing harm on her (btw go check that post out they describe everything SO well!) we don’t know what N and V’s relationship was before they became DD’s, they could’ve been dating, they could’ve just been friends, we have no idea how long they’ve known each other for, all we know is that they were much more nicer to each other than what we see in the entire show. Maybe if they just talked and explained their feelings to each other and why V was ignoring N for who knows how long then maybe they could’ve had a chance of being endgame but that hasn’t happened and might never will if V is dead for good, they still have a chance of talking to each other but it’s too late for them to love each other, N clearly has moved on from his crush on V (it’s been noticeable since episode 3) and has taken interest in Uzi which is the only relationship he has had with anyone that is healthier so it’s no surprise if N and Uzi start dating. People need to realise that V needs to sort herself out without N, she doesn’t need a man to suddenly make her better, she needs to do that on her own terms before talking to N and starting a friendship with him

So now that’s out the way…misinformation! If Toxic shippers had a dollar for every time they spread misinformation around they’d be a billionaire because holy hell do they love spreading false information, I’ve seen so much new fans comment underneath a Nuzi post “oh but I thought they were ____” which is really damn sad. No guys Glitch and Liam never stated which ship was going to be canon they wouldn’t just spoil it and no Nuzi didn’t just come out of nowhere, if you look just close enough, they’ve been hinted at a million times

Thanks for reading this silly thing I made at 3am, I hope it does make sense bc I might just cry if I was explaining gibberish to everyone

[spaciebabie]

HI HI HI I JUST SAW THE FNAF MOVIE FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO SHARE YOUR THOTS ABT EVERYTHING

alr well im gonna talk abt a lot of things under the cut :> (extra precaution for people who havent seen it!) im gonna be talking abt some major spoilers so like if you dont wanna know what happens dont look!!!!!!!!

the thing that stood out ta me the most abt this movie is the cinematography i mean- some of those shots were really well fucking done. and the tension at certain parts??? i mean!!! i wasnt really scared during the movie but there were some parts where the build up ta the scare made me feel a lil somethin somethin yk. a little tingle in my booty.

ALSO LIKE?? THE AUNT DIED AND NOBODY FUKCING TALKED ABOUT IT SKDFJSKFHSKJFSJDF???? DID MIKE JUST FUCKING MOVE HER BODY OUT OF HIS HOME??? WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO???? THEY REALLY JUST LIKE DID NOT GIVE A SHIT ABT HER AWAHWHAGGWGAGWAHHWGHAHAHA

also. the springlocks. we finally got like some explanation asta how they would work and honestly i really really like how they function. like it makes sense!! the metal ribcage??? fuck thats so peak i might hafta add that ta my springer design i love it

speaking of springtrap. hello hi i love. william afton. i have always been a springtrap lover and a william afton enjoyer but this movie man. mathew lillard is hot as hell and he did an awesome job in this role. i mean hes everything i would want william afton ta be. silly, dangerous, unhinged, sure of himself, ive already made a post talking abt how much i liked the springlock failure scene (well more like screaming abt it) but like. hes. hes not scared of dying hes not scared of death (at least he doesnt show it) b/c he knows hes gonna be reborn and- fuck its just so good. i love everything abt the final scenes. GOSH AND HIS VOICE!!!!!!!! THE DISTORTION ON HIS VOICE DID YOU HEAR HOW GLEEFUL AND CHEERY HE WAS??? HOW DRAMATIC HIS STUPID ASS WAS??? SHITTTTTTT

im also really glad vanessa had some development here! and i wasnt expecting her ta be william aftons daughter??!?!?!?! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLYAY MOLAY ACTUAL PLOT TWIST I DIDNT SEE COMING. ive already mentioned this 2 people on discord but like. i hope we see more development of her and her fathers relationship before what we see in fnaf 1. i NEED 2 know what she saw i NEED 2 know why she is so haunted. what happened ta her family???? and like!! what the hell is happening 2 her as shes in that hospital brah i bet you she's having terrible nightmares and i needta see ALL OF THEM-

ALSO LIKE?? JUST REFERENCES TA THE FNAF FANDOM IN GENERAL?? THWE LIVING TOMBSTONE??? MATPAT?? CORYXKENSHIN????? SPARKY????

LET ME ALSO CONTINUE TALKING ABT THE FACE SHREDDER THING CUZ LIKE I WANNA KNOW WHY THAT WAS EVEN IN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACEOMG A THOUGHT JUST HIT ME-

FACE SHREDDER SO YOU CANT IDENTIFY THE BODY???? HELLO???? anyways seeing the animatronics go crazy and kill people was very cool. i loved the animatronics soooo much they were so silly and LIVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO FULL OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GODDD I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEMMM I LOVE THAT THEY PUT IN THE EFFORT TA ACTUALLY MAKE THE ANIMATRONICS IT MADE IT SO MUCH BETTER

rambling over. i needta go study skfskjfksjdf

[lenasprouts-words]

olderbrother!skz headcanons pt 2!!

ahh maknae line! hyung line

han

you guys are inseparable

you also get mad at minho for stealing your brother

also han and u are actual soulmates

minho is second (and less cool in ur opinion)

only about one-two years apart

when yall meet he does the ‘where my hug at?’ thing

its either you koala hug him or he does

just like, legs wrapped around waist typa hug

or he’ll bury his face into your armpit

you think it’s disgusting but he argues its comfy 

he sends you all his photos he wants to post

then you choose the ones you like 

he likes anime; you like kdramas

constantly fighting abt which is better

it got so heated once that even felix rose his voice for yall to stfu

its okay tho u made up a day after and went to the park to have a singing contest

you watch silly documentaries together

your chat is filled with stupid jokes and complaints

but he’s the first to know when something is wrong

started dissing this kid who bullied you in fifth grade

he got sent to the office but gave you a hug right before

steals things from photoshoots to give to you

spams you when he’s in the studio

asks you for lyric inspo and uses your terrible love life as inspo

once you showed one of his songs to your partner

’my brother wrote this about my last ex. dont make him do it again, he cried writing it.’

well your partner also cried so

matching stuffed animals <3

asks you to help him learn twice choreo

bc ur a huge once

he also got you a signed album from them

’oh here noonas gave me this idk why tho’

felix

loves you to death.

like fr its scary

youre four-five years younger than him

so you basically have eight older brothers

nicknamed you smiley bc your smile is the cutest thing ever (and it is)

runs to you calling ‘smiley!!!’

and lifts you off the ground when you hug

he hooks his chin around your shoulder and smells you

you think him smelling you is weird but it isnt

bc according to him you smell like ‘vanilla and lavenders and lemon’

it is so very random but you love it anyways

you two balance each other out so well, in a really weird way tho

like he’s hyper and energetic and sweet

while your active and excited and a little bitter

your insults and comebacks make him cry laugh every time

and you do the same with felix

he will NEVER shut up abt you trust

like seungmin once put him on a ban from talking about you

but he just started texting about you so

taught you taekwando

and now you fight hand to hand against changbin (and win most times)

felix doesnt like it tho bc ‘changbinnie'll get hurt and cry!’

both of your puberty hormones went to your voice box

his got deeper and huskier; yours is silkier and in the middle tone range leaning deep

but its like a rich deep ya know?

when he’s sleepy he starts mumbling random sentences and you record them snd send them to you group chat named ‘skz (-1 sunshine +1 smiley)’

if seungmin thought felix was bad at gaming, youre even worse

most of the time you end up dying

its funny because you started gaming before felix did too

you gave each other sweatshirts for white day in korea

and now your roommate hates when you use it because its so worn down and lowk smelly

jeongin has to beg felix to take it off and put it in the wash

dance parties at random times

especially if you or felix are feeling down

the playlist ‘HOE DANCE DOWN!’ is blasting

consisting of twice, charli xcx, dua lipa, and olivia rodrigo

other artists too and some from jyp bc felix loves his jypnation

not jyp tho anytime felix complains abt the ‘stupid motherfucker who wont shut up and has no talent and too much confidence’

complains ESPECIALLY while yall r playing fortnite, on your request

baking is your shared therapy

felix makes brownies, you make cookies

perfect duo in the kitchen

you bake so often that watching you two is like a dance

members will literally watch you bake and you flip them off

‘LIXIE I GOT FLIPPED OFF AGAIN!’

‘JISUNG STOP BEING A CREEP!!’

rock paper scissors is YOUR thing

like felix will just turn to you and stick his fist out

you also win almost every time

seungmin

you literally have twin telepathy

mainly bc your twins but he is also thirty two minutes older

so, day ones

gatekeeps you from his friends but not the group

because somehow they already knew who you were

you introduced yourself to them the day they debuted

only pretends to be sad abt not being a twin in the group

because he already has you and wouldnt change it for anything

the only person he will not hesitate from skinship is you

pats on the head, chin on shoulder, holding hands, occasional squeezing

his hugs are your safe spot

he’d tap you on the shoulder and take your arm

then he starts massaging you after pulling you into the hug

and it feels so good

and he’s surprisingly good at it too

treats you like a baby bc ur the youngest in you family (by a half hour)

once got you a new phone to stop you from complaining

you think its because he loves you but that is denied every time (its true tho, bc who wouldnt love you?)

only person who can calm you down

when you get too mad

he’ll call you or lay next to you

rub your back until you calm down

if youre on call he’ll put on music and start singing random shit

youre the orange kitty to his golden retriever puppy

you literally paw at him until he gives you his attention

he’ll get excited and its the cutest thing you’ve seen

wakes you up by singing the high note in ‘cover me’ in your ear

ever since he’d recorded that he’s been bragging abt it

but you dont mind bc his singing is nice and you know he would feel the same if you bragged about your fashion designs and website

every day you leave him sweet messages (like his older sister!!)

‘oh seungmo, love your hair today! your smile lit up my room puppy’

in return he sends cute gifs

he also learned french from the i am you tour to swear at you

asks for help in english before events/interviews where english will be used

you were the one who calmed his worries before the paris fashion week

since youre an english and fashion design major he relies on you

he will also never get over the fact that his TWIN is double majoring

your literally jeongin’s favorite tho

bc if seungmin says no you’ll say yes

very very mischevious

if one of you are having a bad day

you’ll just bring the other to a rage room

very effective

jeongin

he’s the maknae of the group and hates getting babied

so he automatically doesn’t baby you

maybe he does a little bit….

but thats because you told him it was okay and you liked it

youre around three years younger than him

so everyone in the group babies you

jeongin is always the first to go and greet you tho

spooks you tho

goes behind your back and yells ‘boo!’ in your ear

he gets punched by you after that

you just tackle him and squeeze him

but he goes ‘oh youve grown so big now!’

he’s also been getting stronger so when he goes into his normal hug where he puts his amrs around and under your armpits, you get squeezed until youre out of breath

on that note

he takes you to the gym bc you’ve been wanting to work out since starting college

he wanted to b your gym buddy (also was scared of u dying bc of asking binnie)

pushes you enough to finish bc he knows ur limits <3

you go to a convinience store after your workouts

both of yall try to pay BUT you make a schedule for who pays

you switch off

innie is extremely proud he made that idea

share a gym playlist

and most of your playlist

bc ur music taste is so similar you end up collabing playlists

you both do daily fit checks

slowly you’ve been able to coax him out of terrible shoe choices

you’ll show him something new and he’ll be like

‘oh is this what all the youngsters are wearing now?’

he busts out these rubber shoes that give you a headache

‘im doing it for stay’ you know stay’s reaction bc u r one

you always show what stays are saying on pinterest and call them simps

but you also cant talk bc, and jeongin quotes this

‘damnn hyunjin looking fine enough to be mine’

but also jeongin constantly uses pick up lines on YOUR friends

if he ever picks you up he’ll turn to someone your hanging out with

‘are you the sun because youre so hot you burn my retinas’

and everyone is just. majorly confused

its his random space obsession showing okay

you went on a planetarium date one time

he talked your ear off and then you bit his ear

retaliation for all the times he’s bit you when he was a wee little one

after that you went shopping

a stay photographed yall starting dating rumors

but its okay bc jeongin addressed it in his lives

telling everyone youre siblings

there is a ten minute video of him cracking up, tears flowing bc of the situation

@chans-muffin i delivered!!!!

[jabesa0]

Hii I amabsoloutly inlove eith your artstyle.

can I ask a few questions? :<

how lomg does your deawings usually take? and do you have any speedpaints,,, uploaded somewbere... for studying purposes

your drawings makr me want to to back to lineless art lol. and not take it so hard on myself.....

Hi there!! Unfortunately I don’t have any speedpaints seeing as I stop drawing while I’m working on my stuff cuz I get distracted easily 😭😭 so if I did you’d just have big periods where nothings happening LOL usually I post process shots on my personal irl server after each drawing session just so I can see how far along I am but that’s about it!

Also I fully support lineless!! I don’t do any lineart (clearly LOL) and it’s more fun to just paint over your sketch and make as you go!! And yeah don’t be so hard on yourself anon! Art is hard and shit takes time, so whether you take a few days on a piece or months I think you should be proud that you actually made something, even if it’s just for yourself :)!!

As for the question of how long I take on my drawings:

(More under the cut!)

As for how long it takes me to make drawings, I’d say it varies like this purple mammon I recently posted took a month but that’s because I had lots of final school work to do and I got sick twice during that time 💀💀 but this three pose page I did as a commission:

This one took me 9 days which is crazy when I think abt it actually cause there’s way more happening but yeah!!

This mammon in the back dress as well took about five days!! So to give you an estimate I’d say anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks? Most mammons I do usually end up being on the lower half of that range! Outside circumstances may make it vary but that’s usually the time it takes!!

Oh and I’d like to add that I usually am a night owl and only start working till around the evening times when I draw!! So when I say days I don’t mean like I spend d all day over my tablet, I don’t think that’d be very good for your health anyways 🤕🤕 take breaks yall play a game you like or watch something on YouTube!!! Don’t spend all your time working lest you burn out!!

I’m gonna be real with all of you, cause my friends make fun of me for it ALL THE TIME LOL but the largest majority of mammon drawing time is like 80% redrawing the face over and over and 20% the rest give or take. I drive myself crazy drawing mammon faces cause I need it to be perfect cause it’s mammon so when it’s not “perfect” I keep working at it and I don’t move on until it is 💀💀 my friends notice a cycle where it’s like:

“You guys I have such a fire idea for a mammon drawing” (makes sketch and flats in like 10 mins) —> (starts face) “wait you guys this face is kinda good maybe I won’t spend fifty years on it :D” —> “eehhhhhhgh okay face not looking good lemme see if I can tweak it” —> “okay face need to be redone.” —> “I decided against redoing it I’m just gonna fix what I have” —> “we gotta throw the whole idea out and start again.” —> “wait you guys I think I did it the face looks good asf was I crying for nothing before??” (They tell me yes I always do) —> (I move on from the face) —> (the rest is completed within 2-4 days) —> Done!

It’s stupid as hell I know LOL but when it comes to mammon if i don’t make him as best as I can I don’t feel like I do him justice. The things we do for love, right?

[eclaire-went-bam]

i'm gonna post this here bcs initially i posted it to cf on instagram but frankly i have too many cfs who don't know i'm Disordered™ in this way LMAO

this isn't a super emotional vent & shouldn't have any triggers However it is a super annoyed one

i think i try too often to be "silly" scary & mean & Obviously i don't Actually Try to be either of those, i just like being annoying. i find i do this automatically with "friends" who aren't an ep — if everyone else leaves and i'm stuck with just an ep, i suddenly act like a normal person again LMAO

but anyways point is: in this act, i act really stupid on purpose. i act like a cartoon character. i'm a creature of Show✨. i often make subtle jokes abt murder & stuff that'd probably be seen as angsty teenager cringe. i tease people in a very well-meaning but annoying way. this is my persona that has been established in these circles. i want to make it clear, people do not get offended when i'm like this & when they do i make sure to ask about it & apologise bcs that's ~Healthy~ & at the end of the day they usually seem to really enjoy the way i act (some ppl actually seem to enjoy the attention from teasingly psychoanalysing them A Bit Too Much haha)

but SOMETIMES someone takes the act a bit too seriously?? thinking i'm actually Trying to be mean or threatening or whatevs??? & goes "ur gonna have to try harder than that!! it's not working!!!!" and i'm like okaaaayyyyy big boy

& then i actually do what they say & suddenly it hits a wound a bit too deep. just one single sentence.

this just happened 2 days ago & i get it but idk maybe don't get too proud when it's clear it's just fun&games (the same fun&games as Always) & then get shocked.

frankly, i will not feel bad

& i often don't even realise what is “too far” (it's either probably the autism or the low empathy + egocentrism = i wouldn't be hurt if someone said it to me, so why would others?) most times so maybe don't make it a competition bcz then my narc brain Will compete & then try to make me feel bad abt it

me when i'm in friend groups where i constantly intentionally do & say things so everyone thinks i'm stupid & then i act like i'm not for once ;;;

listen. i may not feel guilty for my actions. i may even think you're Unwise for making your ticks so obvious & then proceeding to act like they aren't. however i would greatly appreciate it if you didn't make it some competition that you can't be scared or offended when you very clearly Can Be, you just think you can't be by me bcs you think a cute little afab like wittle ole me is incapable. & then it all gets soooo awkward afterwards even when i try to apologise but they keep going on abt how it was Too Far and That Hurt & when they finally stop they're just awkwardly quiet until they leave

i can understand getting competitive like this & doing whatever necessary to "win" is not a healthy trait & is probably a result of x y & z npd stuff & yes i did feel very ugly when they started belittling me out of Nowhere but idkkk right now i'm just annoyedddd

usually if someone gets like that i have an ep w/ me who knows i'm a narc i can dm to tell them what i Wanted to say & they can laugh w me (sometimes just acting stupid with others but in the know with an ep makes the feeling go away without actually needing to risk doing anything toxic) but they weren't there this time </222

[thetobiroppofan]

one piece rant #3: ugly men who i HATE.

hello little tumblr people who i DONT!!!!!!!!!!! care about i havent been here in a hot second but this isnt a professional blog i am insane and this is an illusion you're all just living in my head anyways hello new post from me THE tobiroppo fan.

id go on a rant abt myself but this aint about me this is about the ugly men i HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

starting off with an agreeable one: THAT FUCKASS PURPLE HAIRED GUY FROM WANO

OROCHI WHEN I CATCH YOU YOU BIG HEADED FUCK. I WILL TEAR OUT THOSE BIG ASS FRONT TEETH YOU GOT LIKE A DENTIST WHO JUST STARTED HIS JOB. NOT TO MENTION HOW YOU BUILT LIKE A WHOLE HANK HIPOOPAPOKGUHUD IDK HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME

wyd when he and twin pull up cause me personally im getting registered to the psych ward

next one

this is the part where im glad to be a small oh little humble tumblr blog yes thats me cause

he has a bigass forehead

i can play tictactoe on that thing

not to mention those weird ass shades like go back to the dollar store and return those please they look horrible.

that fuckass haircut dont do you no good either please dye ur hair uglyuglyugly

also this applies to most one piece men but i feel like his neck is massive like way to massive like if i tried to chop his neck itd genuinely be stopped by the amount of mass doflamingo has and shockingly he isnt the only one

eustass kidd i love you but

What is this. he looks like hes buried

in the sand

he dont look real

im scared

like

i LOVE YOU eustass kidd like yk i like loud angry characters but

he scares me with that neckgame like thats thicker than those dark oak minecraft trees :(

next one is a bit controversial as well since. i am mutuals with a enjoyer of this char on tt and i dont think thye have my tumblr cause we never talked before nd i dont think they know the lore behind lobotomylegendchick4 but

The love hate relationship I have with this disgusting ill strucken poor old geeer is more bipolar than a 2018 x reader enemies to lovers fanfic between a guy from a kpop fan

because one day i wake up from my super cozy fluffy bed with my AMAZING trafalgar d water law bootleg plushie staring coldly into my eyes with that stupid fucking face

and i think "man..

I hope Caesar Clown gets his nuts torn off by a rabid dog." and then i go downstairs and trip while walking down and hit my head on the side of the coffee table and have a trip to the ER that lasts 2 days and i miss the release trailer of the new youtooz figures of mihawk arlong and buggy.

only part of that is a lie. you can figure it out.

Other days I wake up and I look at that one fucking pinterest progile that LOVES caesar clown and i think "maybe he isnt that bad" then i remember oh yeah hes morally terrible cause he experimented on kids then i turn and stare at doffy stans for like 5 minutes then think "child experimentation, doflamingo, or the things i see out of the corner of my eye that might be hallucinations cause im probably slowly losing it" then i get distracted by the feeling of

HUNGER.

i am hungry now

THANKS TUMBLR.

YOU MADE ME HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last part before i post this and hope the doflamingo and caesar stans dont find me and jump me and leak my address

so in the end

I actually hate a lot of ugly men

but at the moemnt i cant think of one specifically to end this about

tldr: I hate 4% of men in one piece and get hungry and sidestory: I think there is a wasp in my room however maybe im just seeing things its 1:47 am and ive forgotten when i woke up

thanks for reading tumblr blog maybe i did go insane but hey

thetobiroppofan is nothing but a humble small tumblr blog

if i go insane spread my legacy my average 2 viewers on each post

th.thank yo.

snif

sniffele.

han.thank.you.

see you guys in

some day

thetobiroppo fan out

[everynya]

when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers or moots (positivity is cool) 💖

HELLO NAT!!!! WAVES MY ARMS AROUND

SALUTATIONS ARSENE!! i’m so sorry i took forever to get to this i was in a very bad headspace, but ty for the ask! no one expect too much from me post wise these days i just felt bad i hadn’t answered this yet (imagine u are my 10 favorite followers and i send this to u 10 times cause ngl…i’m just gonna let whoever wants to do it do it, so oomfies if u see this u get my pass to do this cause i cannot have faves!)

hello and welcome to nat’s current top 5 radio hits. i shall share and explain each one like a maniac (i yoinked my top songs i heard these past weeks from my airbuds app)

⭐️ CamGirl >.<!!! - Villiano Antillano

⭐️ Oh Qué Sera? - Willie Colon

⭐️ In The End - Drake Bell

⭐️ Mr. Bass - A.C.E.

⭐️ Run Away To Mars - Khoi Dao, Geoff Bisentte

5. to start off, even if you dont know spanish i recommend her so much…Villiano is a puertorrican trans woman who has been revolutionizing rap for women and does so especially in her album this song is from called Miss Misogyny, let me say THE SONG IS GOODDDD its about sex work and the control and empowerment and the lack of shame and taboo around these things, its one of her many songs in the album that in an interview she says was made for female rappers to claim rap as their own by writing her own songs that dont put women down and are about the control they should have in their music…ive been listening to Villiano since one of the collab songs she did with a popular dj that blew her up years ago and ive enjoyed what shes done. its a trap song so maybe not everyones cup of tea but yeah

4. this song is really good, spanish song of the week i loop. thank fuck it wasnt a reggaeton song. but this song is by a puertorrican (though the song was originally by a brazilian artist, willie reinterpreted the song after a trip to brazil he had) thats generally about believing in things and finding in a sense a love for the unknown, its a really good song that uses a lot of metaphors

3. I can’t share why for this one, sorry, but anyway it’s a good song!

2. this one isnt in my airbuds top songs this week at all. but. anyway. ace. MR BASS NE MAMEUL ULLINEUN RIDEUM MR BASS DALKOMHAN NAUI SOKSAGIME JUNGDOKDOEGO MAL GEOL MR BAS CANNN YOUUU FEEEEL NE IPSURUI TTEOLLIM MR BASS AAAHH MR BASS AHHH

1. OKAY. OKAY. run away to mars but covered by khoi dao (voice actor) makes me all kinds of levels of crazy and every few days i loop it. first of all, this specific va is the voice claim for my oc f/o actually! khoi is such a great guy and ive always adored his voice and i cannot ever unhear the idea of the stupid idiot i made in my head sounding like him. its a very classic ‘liking a song cause you imagine your f/o singing it’ AND ITS SO ON BRAND FOR HIM ANNNDDD MY SHIP. the song fits him and my insert stupidly well

the song underneath has very sad undertones, i feel i can rlly relate to it rn but ill talk abt it more on my ship. its really befitting of these two (esp emi aka the f/o) given the fact that the song not only has the kind of energy where if you dont listen deep enough you can miss its meaning and just enjoy its energy which is very on brand for him but also its so heavily focused on escapism and insecurity in a way where it KILLS ME. the part of ‘three two one i miss you, im sorry i got issues’ makes me sick cause he would truly apologize over the mere fact of having emotions because he tucks them so far away he doesnt believe theyre even real or his (in a way, hes the one who ‘runs away to mars’)…his escapism in a sense is nayla, in the idea that he becomes focused on her faded colors or more so her issues and so he loses what is home and ‘how long till im discovered’ by not just anyone else but himself, he doesnt find on his own that hes having a hard time with himself.

none of this made sense and theres way more to it, but the amount of times ive been unable to not associate these two w this song…. like sorry that my current obsession rn is a ship of two characters i made and makes no sense to anyone but me

[ringdabel]

How I think the DK crew would use Twitter/X!! (PARTE 1)

The DK crew is the strawhats! These are just some random hcs I have while staying up pass my bedtime!

LUFFY

The type of guy to post the most random things known to man kind, whenever he thinks of something or do something, he’ll post just for funsies

Might forgot he had a Twitter/X account until someone talked abt it or remind him of it

His username would be something with food, being the future pirate king and his name! Like maybe @THEKINGOFTHEPIRATES

His pfp is a badly taken photo of himself or his bounty and the header is either food or his crew

Thinks KYS means Keep Yourself Safe (DO NOT LET HIM POST ANYTHING)

He follows every single person on his crew along with his friends and siblings!

His Twitter/X feat is full of food, anything related to pirates and bugs

Occasionally posts photos of himself with the crew, Sanji’s food, BUGS!!! All of them are blurry, badly taken and potentially meme material 😭

Did an ASMR video of him abt to chew on Nami’s precious shoes (he is dead)

Sometimes posts photos of his beautifully drawn pictures of crayons on papers (he did his best, I’m so proud of him)

Captions on his posts are like this :

“ZORO LOOKED SO STUPID WHILE SLEEPING AFTER I DREW A PP ON HIS FACE 🤣🤣🤣🤣”

Typos a lot, he relies on autocorrect ☠️

In an argument he would definitely use “L + RATIO + STUPID + YOUR RONG”

Says yes to emojis! He would use 🤣😂😁😆😭😡😜☹️😭😱 to express his emotions

But I also think he would use Emoticons too. especially “XD”, he’s kind of the both kind of guy

Always comments on his crews posts! Often to Sanji, “SANJI IM HUNGRYYYY!!!!”

Whenever he types something on his phone or received a comment or text, he’d always read it out loud.

Retweets whatever he thinks is cool (he doesn’t even know what retweeting IS but he thinks it’s pretty cool so he did it anyway)

Follows back anyone that follows him (a habit)

Most likely to get scammed by a bot 😭

ZORO

Barely uses it tbh, he doesn’t feel the need to post or use it (Too busy napping and training)

If he does posts then it’s usually smth relating to swords (or he’s lost again and trying to get some help-)

Kinda like Luffy sometimes, he’ll post something random about what he’s thinking or what he’s doing for no reason

Often comments and roasts Sanji’s posts. whatever the French cook posts, he will find a way to argue with him ☠️

Follows his captain and the crew and his goth fam

His feat is full of swords, men training, men sweating, maybe booze and even goth related fashion (after 2 years, the goth fam infected his fashion style)

Has some troubles understanding some gen Z slangs and memes

Sniper king🪃 @GodUssop

Omg you slay queen, go girl, you slayed frfr!!!

💬 🔁 💟

Roronoa Zoro @User737828dhhwsuw272

What the hell are you talking about

💬 🔁 💟

NEVER uses emojis or emoticons, he thinks it’s unnecessary (he’s too cool for that it seems)

Doesn’t rlly know how to use the app like at all, someone help this moss head

Like I mentioned up there, he didn’t even change his user or anything, maybe he’ll change it in the future but meh not now

His pfp is probably just a photo of himself that is taken by anyone in the crew (probably Ussop) or the default one

Doesn’t usually retweet, like or anything, he’s kinda just there to see and scroll or just comment something (He would like Chopper’s posts tho, brother behavior and Luffy as well ofc).

NAMI

Uses it pretty often but not as much as instagram

Posts selfies of herself, her with the girls, desserts that Sanji made for her, her in outfits, make up stuff, just alot of photos of herself (Ussop is usually the one taking photos for her!)

Her feat is MONEY, pretty clothes, pretty girls, heels, make up stuff, skin care tips, motivational quotes

Follows the crew , Vivi 💙,some celebrities and fashion designers

Often likes posts from Vivi and Robin

She definitely has a LOT of followers full of mostly men (you already know the reason)

Never rlly follows back unless she knows the person irl (unlike a certain monkey man) and blocks quite a lot of users

Scammed? Nah, SHES the scammer

Loves gossiping with Ussop and Robin about some recent Twitter/X drama

Every posts of hers are full of hashtags and most of them have ✨ in it :

“Shopping w/ The Girls! 🛍💄💖✨ Ft. @NicoRobin @NefertariVivi #girlsnight”

And then add a bunch of hashtags that relates to girls shopping and besties (I’m too lazy to type all of them out 💔)

Shares some of her opinions online

If she ever gets into an argument or a debate, she would win with how strong and girl bossy she is 🔥🔥🔥

Her user would be smth like “CatburglarNami”

SANJI

uses it only for “Stuff”

Occasionally posts pics of his cooked meals!!! Would also add the recipes and tutorial below

The first to follow Nami and like, retweet and comment on all of her posts (the same thing goes to Robin as well 🙏)

His feat is full of photos of women, Nami and Robin’s selfies or photos, cooking, food, beautiful scenery, (secretly) photos of men, daily reminders, romantic quotes

Follows ALL THE WOMEN HE FINDS ON HIS FEAT.

Oh and some guys as well

Has urges to block a certain idiot moss headed swordsman

Would use the romantic text font when writing captions (and to women as well)

Retweets and quotes all the posts of women with hearts, praises, cringy stuff like that (Zoro usually roasts him in the replies)

Has to deal with Luffy’s constant “SANJIII FOOODDDD” on every single posts

Blocks the germa family (Except for Reiju), men

Would definitely get a virus by a bot that’s sent him “Stuff” (baited and caught right away, caught lacking, SIMPING)

Sometimes posts something abt his daily lives and photos of beautiful sceneries

His user is probably “Mrprince”.

[donnerpartyofone]

i find you unimaginably cool and ive expressed to you before on anon the sentiment that i feel a deep kinship towards you for how you speak so candidly abt your own stupidity (pls dont take that as me calling you stupid) bcuz i feel exactly the same way abt my own stupidity and hate when ppl try to talk me out of it but ANYways i just saw your post abt writing a novelization of splice and i am literally reeling. i love that weird ass movie so much and i think writing a novelization of it is one of the most off the wall and amazing things ive ever heard of. i hope that you will share when it is published bcuz i cannot wait to read it. pls know that someone out there understands you (or at least understands you as best as someone can thru this parasocial lens of tumblr and how you choose to share yourself there) and that someone out there thinks you are basically what i hope i can be when i grow up. thank you for sharing. thank you for articulating yourself as well as you do (i too have the itch to tell you you are not stupid but bcuz i know how it is i wont do it but besides that, i think you are one of the clearest and most well articulated writers ive ever encountered online or elsewhere). sorry, this all feels insane to type. im off two tallboy ipas and i just think youre great.

Dearest Correspondent,

Oddly enough, just the other day somebody liked an older post of mine, and when I clicked on it to remind myself of what it was, the next post down was your last message. Anyway, thanks! The whole novelization business is really funny. Do people even know what they are anymore? I didn't know anybody still made them until I was hired to do SPLICE. I used to get them from the drugstore sometimes when I was a kid because my parents were very uptight about what I watched, but they wouldn't be caught dead restricting anyone's reading habits. During my initial conversation with the SPLICE publisher, we kind of bonded over our memories of the CHILD'S PLAY 2 novelization, of all things, that seemed to help me a lot in addition to my ideas about what SPLICE should be like on paper. I tend to think of novelizations as just another piece of merch, but when you write them, I don't know, like you really have to live out the movie in your mind over and over again to figure out what the characters are experiencing physically, environmentally, how their emotional experiences affect their bodies, etc. You have to fill in the blanks of what they think and sense just enough to make your transcription convincing, while staying within certain bounds to honor what the filmmaker meant to say. SPLICE started as kind of a lark for me, and then almost immediately it became extremely personal; when I was nearing the end of my first draft I thought, "OK, well, I guess everyone is about to find out how insane I am." I was afraid it just sounded "crazy" and wouldn't be what the publisher was expecting. But after I turned it in, the surprise encouragement I got from actual-Vincenzo Natali was pretty amazing, so maybe it's good! Maybe you really CAN'T tell how crazy I am, and it's just very entertaining. You'll have to wait and see.

Parasocial relationships are tricky, huh, especially here on tumblr dot com. The best thing you can do for yourself is just be very aware that they are happening within you, a test you seem to have passed. I think a lot of us come here seeking understanding of our weirdest parts, but the more you put out there to find the people who get what you're saying, you simultaneously get a lot of reminders that most people have no idea what you're talking about. There will be people who seem to hate you because they've misunderstood you, and there will also be people who love you but whose interactions prove that they have absolutely no idea what you're communicating. I recently culled a bunch of followers because they were just creating a lot of noise, even though they may have meant well, and I was losing the clarity I needed to keep doing this. I started to see every post as a worrisome opportunity to find out how poorly people can possibly read me, and suppressing the urge to re-explain myself every day was becoming exhausting. And ironically, around the same time, I was briefly mutuals with one of my favorite bloggers ever, and just as I thought we were becoming chummy, they unfollowed me. I didn't freak out, actually I just unfollowed them back because I was concerned about being annoying, but I did have all kinds of Thoughts about this event. I have spent a lot of time reviewing what my projections were about that person, and what my personal investment in their narrative says about me. I think there could be something good to get out of this audit, even though the whole episode is sort of embarrassing. But Tumblr definitely gives you a lot of opportunities to examine your own filters, clean them out once in a while, and get to know yourself a little better--even if other people seem to be getting to know you a little worse! You just have to stick to your own course and see what comes of it.

Uh. What the hell was I saying. I don't know! But I appreciate your messages, I feel "gotten" by them. Some of the follower upheaval recently did involve the way that I process my experience of my own stupidity out loud on here--like I know that sometimes folks are trying to be helpful by contradicting me whenever I sound "negative" (read: realistic), but being told (by strangers) how to feel about yourself and that you're wrong about your own experiences is actually really awful, confusing, frustrating, and undermining. So I don't mind being reminded that my signal is coming through for at least some people. I hope you're doing good this holiday season. I wonder what beers you had, they sound fun!

Good tidings to you,

C

PS Isn't "on here" a weird phrase? I always feel like a primate when I say it, but I have yet to find a different phrase that conveys the same thing as accurately.

[koheletgirl]

I'm just gonna go 1, 2, 3, & 7 💖 also tell me a sentence abt them

peng i'm jumping up and down

i'm going to do this in the opposite order for funsies

7. miss americana & the heartbreak prince - taylor swift

ok so one thing. one thing about this year. is that. well have you heard of world ain't ready? yeah so anyway i didn't get chana and lucy's consent but now is a great time to post our w.a.r playlist. this is probably one of the top 3 most important songs on it i cannot stop listening to it and thinking about them. the whole school is rolling fake dice you play stupid games you win stupid prizes!!!

the next 3 are boygenius so let me just preface this by saying the record is one of the most important things that happened to me this year like im being so serious. it owns a part of my soul. anyway

3. without you without them - boygenius

what was the thing lucy said... it's about being grateful for your loved ones' families even if they're awful, because they gave you your loved ones. something about it is so.... i love lucy dacus. i think there's an honesty to her and her writing that's really rare actually. also their harmonies are simply perfect

2. emily i'm sorry - boygenius

i'll never forget the first time i heard emily i'm sorry. i was walking back from work and it was all gloomy outside, and i felt everything in me evaporate. this song is. it is. yeah. also, do you ever think about maizula?

not strong enough - boygenius

i first heard this song on a call with vic and robin actually. we watched the mv 3 times in a row. what is there to say..... something about this song. it's become a part of who i am. it's my mantra. it's a daily ritual. i sing it like other people meditate. it's my home and my comfort zone and my best friend. i don't think the record changed me, but it made me feel more like myself. if that makes sense. anyway watch this if you haven't

[yuukei-yikes]

hibiya and takane at the end of the novels let me talk for a second😐😐😐😐😐😭😭😭😭ok erm novel spoilers duh

takane and hibiya werent at the lab with clearing and the rest bc they couldn't rly help (takane is doing shit as ene but if they took her body itd just be something the dan has to carry and as for hibiya in my sick twisted mind hibiyas thing is not ONLY cuz he cant help bc his powers take too much energy but its also bc the dan is trying to act like responsible older siblings and deciding hibiyas too young to be put in danger...sobsob. like it means a lot that hes the only one to survive aside from seto and mary. it's also funny how seto and mary are having an ugly crying party and hibiyas there like 😐) its a good team cuz ene can report back to the dan everything hibiya is seeing with his powers and hibiya can report to takane too *goes insane* its such a funny duo takane tasked as the worlds awfulest babysitter. you know in cartoons when the babysitter just ignores the kids and talks on the phone. hibiya and takane being teamed up together is literally that. except she goes inside the phone and all their friends are dying but thats a detail.

(also it hurts so much too bc of the whole haruka&konoha thing. the 2 characters most closely related to haruka and konoha being stuck together *my descend into madness is complete*)

i think their chapter together was interesting it made me poke my eyes out bc hibiya has to tell takane shintaro is dead and he's like OUGH...I DONT WANNA BE THE ONE TO TELL HER HER BEST FRIEND IS DEAD.. and then takane has a "weird" reaction, like basically doesnt break into tears or anything. and i know its because she had apparently discussed the possibility with shintaro previously (id kill to have read that convo. normal shintaka convo post reveal *shakes fist*) but the way she kind of tries to comfort hibiya in her own weird way and the whole thing being hibiyas pov its so clear she's trying to keep it together in front of him bc he's just a kid. and not only that but she says he reminds her of SHINTARO so she's like. ough ofc she acts like that. just by how she was as ene to shintaro she is being to hibiya rn to make him feel better. she knows she will die when she says goodbye to him after that as ene. IM GONNA PUKE

(she's... like so mature in her own stupid way. it rly hurts when in the following chapter when she's like on her way to die/just died she thinks abt how helpless she was and how she couldnt do anything even though she had just comforted hibiya and sacrificed herself for seto and marys sake. *bangs head against wall* TAKANEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)

anyways i had all those thoughts bc i was like so since in novel route takane dies as ene... is her physical body also swallowed by the daze?? or is it just her soul, and when she's in the daze later its a haruka situation and both of them only have their consciousness kinda walking around as opposed to everyone else who is there with physical bodies? if that happened then hibiya would just be left on the roof of a random building with a corpse.

either way F for hibiya bc its either he's alone with a corpse or he gets jumpscared by another dimension opening and eating up the body. i do think her body gets swallowed tho and she just looks like ene in the daze cuz thats what she looks like in her mind (she's only been back in her physical body for like a day before this so lol)

either way. hc time but like. i just imagine hibiya realising takane isnt Really sleeping anymore and she Really wont wake up and Wow she doesnt have a pulse and even if he doesn't know her well, he is a kid and she is the adult that was keeping him company. so he kind of loses his mind. i feel so bad for him, what happened to him after takane leaves him??? bc we dont see him again til the end.

like even if he was technically already alone on the roof cuz takane was away as ene anyway, he knew she'd come back. but now shes NOT WAKING UP. he's looking at all this happen, all the people he's met in the last 2 days are dying one by one, the hope to find hiyori seems more and more ridiculous as the hours go on, konoha has been taken over by something Bad and is doing Bad things to people, he doesnt know if momo will be safe, its the middle of the night and he's in a city he doesnt know and the person, the adult, THE FRIEND supposed to be with him is NOT WAKING UP!!! i just imagine this little guy sobbing on takanes body begging her to wake up because he doesnt know how to get back to the hideout from here!! he doesnt know where he is!!! hey!! wakeup!! dont leave me by myself what am i supposed to do!!! and screaming when the daze swallows the body and hes just left alone for real. lol. anyways hows everyone doing

[vilvermin-sqwirl]

i know i just info dumped abt my fav little guy 2 seconds ago but this is completely unrelated i just need to rant a bit more

cw // negative post , transphobia mention

i genuinely think youtube comments have the mental capacity of a puddle of motor oil-poisoned brine shrimp you would find on the side of the road. i can be called one million slurs but when *I* say "hey fucker. don't do that." suddenly i'm being hostile?

so tldr context is: when i was 14 i made a fan animation for a webseries i liked. now the creator is undergoing backlash for cancelling the series due to Situations That I Will Not Explain. i will not explain any further because man I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!! everything RELATED to that community is fucked up and i'm NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!!!!

anyways now my fan animation is spontaneously getting a whole lot of stupid snarky comments like "ummm.. this didn't age well!!" and people are now using this whole thing as an excuse to be genuinely transphobic. on MY SILLY ANIMATION. THAT I MADE WHEN I WAS 14. DUDE.

the reason i bring this up is i can't help but REPLY to these comments because i am mentally ill. (however i do not reply to outwardly awful comments because i know better than that.)

sometimes i straight up wanna delete my channel man i hate youtube and all the little bacteria that flock to it. i know its mostly kids and i feel bad for getting so fucked up over it but its draining yknow??? i'm obviously never gonna do that but the urge becomes more present everytime some shit like this happens

anyways check out these out of context comments that i got that are really funny <3

[boy-above]

tagged by @vespertin-y to share three random facts abt myself sooo

1.) i have a big phobia of lakes or just dirty water in general, and submechanophobia, i can't stand looking at like cars submerged in water. i don't seem to have the same fear of the ocean, for example i would never swim in a lake and i'd probs have a panic attack if i fell in one, but i went to the beach for the first time in my life a couple years ago and i got in the ocean just fine. i didn't go very far out bc i was afraid i'd get pulled in, im very small you see and i can't really swim, but i enjoyed it and my friend got seaweed for me to touch ajdjf. despite not being afraid of seawater i do Not like boats and wouldn't get on one on the sea or in a lake. i'd probs feel Better about being on a boat in the sea but the feeling of being in a boat in general feels Wrong to me, like my primal monkey brain is like "humans shouldn't be able to float above water like this".

2.) i have very repetitive stress dreams every night of my life, i don't think i've ever had a Good dream before and im not joking. usually the mundane stuff like being back in high school and not knowing where my classes are or my locker combination etc (which is wild bc that's never something i actually needed to worry about in high school, like i never once forgot things like that). also losing my phone or having it stolen seems to be a theme lately as well. HOWEVER when a dream isn't mundane, i manage to have REALLY weird dreams. the first nightmare i ever remember having was when i was like three years old and i dreamed a tree was chasing me. like a legit tree. i never saw it walk, it would just move when i wasn't looking and would be closer when i looked back. i ran home and still have the vivid memory of slamming my front door and looking behind me to the window where the tree was "looking" inside at me. it didn't have eyes or anything im just assuming it must have been looking at me lmao. anyway i was Terrified of this tree but hindsight that's literally so funny. a tree. also had a dream where my trash bag climbed into bed with me. and one where it was "emu hunting season" in my neighborhood and everyone was hunting emus. i probs don't have to clarify that there aren't emus anywhere near my midwestern city.

2.5.) interesting combination of the first two facts, which is why this is a bonus fact™️. i realized a recurring aspect of my dreams is something highly specific to me and not normal. i didn't realize this from conversations with people or anything i just suddenly was like "oh that's actually very weird and specific to my particular phobias". the aspect in question being that in multiple dreams over several years there's been partially submerged roller coasters in my dreams. like the roller coaster is like 1/4 submerged in a dirty lake and i either just see it and am like "eugh" or i'm actually forced to ride it and have to deal with the horror of both the anticipation of the dirty water part plus the actual contact with the dirty water. i'm not afraid of roller coasters or anything i guess my brain just found a way to tap into my submechanophobia. very weird brain thing that sounds very stupid and it is ajdjr

3.) on a lighter note, i have five genshin impact accounts, although i don't use two of them anymore. i have my main account, an anemo only account, and a new gimmick account that is a secret. my other accounts were just a replay account to experience exploration again, and one that i was gonna call carrot run where i only used xingqiu. i might still end up playing on that one again eventually given that i have xingxiu and sac sword on that account already in very early game with was lucky 4 me.

this was longer than i thought it would be i just decided i like talking about myself apparently LMAO

i don't rly have anyone to tag bc i'm afraid of bothering ppl so AJDHDHFH will leave off the post here