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#anyways absolute god tier game would recommend
cryptickludovick · 1 year
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Playing hide and seek at night in the park drunk off my ass with my guy friends >>>>
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Hello friend. At first, I thought it was a joke that there's a Lego show that people love. I've seen you post about it a lot so I figure it's just one of those things that maybe a couple people really really love otherwise, whatever. But I just sat that clip of that characters death and it made me realize I know nothing about anything ever lol. What is the Lego show about? What do you love about it? I'm just super curious
Well. Okay. My embarrassment aside, I totally get it—it is a lego show, but it's my lego show and I'll gladly tell you about it!
(my apologies this got a little long)
*inhales cigarette* I remember starting to watch lmk (Lego Monkie Kid) and not expecting anything except some very pretty animation—it's just legos, right? And then it completely blindsided me. Then I did some digging and realized it's a modern retelling of Journey to the West (jttw—one of the great classic chinese novels), and that half of the whole reason this show exists is to retell a familiar tale to the modern age. That's how the show opens, and that's how s3 ends.
And, at the risk of sounding a little deranged, I'm going to say that the show being legos is thematically relevant. It legitimately adds to part of the story they're trying to tell—and the story Lego Monkie Kid is trying to tell is legitimately very solid. It's super good. They completely blew me out of the water with season 4.
So. The first special and s1 isn't anything too unique on a first watch through. The characters are charming and the show is very pretty, but it's nothing I'd write home about (though, 1x09 is very good—in my opinion—and 1x10, the season finale, builds plenty of intrigue).
But here's the thing: legitimately so much is set up in s1 and you don't even realize it, and it's STILL being re-contextualized well into s4.
So, then the s2 special happens right after s1, and it's like, alright! The plot seems to be going somewhere! We get introduced to a few more antagonists and the status quo from s1 is already somewhat disrupted. But then the last half of s2 comes around. And they're all bangers. 2x05 Minor Scale is GREAT. 2x06 is pure game motif. 2x07 gives us backstory and continues the main protags negative character arc. 2x08 is one of my favorites in the whole show. By this point you realize how consistent the character writing is if you've been paying attention. 2x09 is the beginning of the end. 2x10 ends the season on quite the cliff hanger, and it's like. HOLY SHIT. WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE GEM OF A SHOW.
s3 is lovely, and the end of the s3 special has one of my favorite scenes in anything. s4 is so ridiculously good. Lmk honestly has what I would consider to be god tier pacing. They have 10 minutes to achieve their goal, and by GOD are they going to do exactly that.
But like, what do I love about the show specifically?
The animation. The characters. The themes. I kid you not a major theme in s4 of the show is the fact that every single thing you do leads to pain. Being the hero or the villain, it doesn't matter—you cause suffering and destruction with every step you take. You hurt the people you care about. No, seriously. I'm not kidding. THAT'S one of the main focuses of s4, and oh boy is it a wild ride. You get used to legos crying. I am unironically expecting s5 of this show to be a tragedy.
I can not recommend it enough!
(If it's your thing that is! I TOTALLY get not being able to look past the legos, and the fast pacing isn't for everyone.)
Anyways, here's a bonus gif of Mei to end off!
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Ark map tier list?
ark map tier list. for u anon. I'll even give u a whole breakdown cause I love talking about this game.
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S Tier
Ragnarok - I remember when rag released and everyone lost their goddamn minds. It was and still is such a good map, I remember the frantic rush to be the first on the server to have griffins or steal wyvern eggs, especially ice wyvern eggs. Ragnarok is an absolutely beautiful map and I've built some of my all time fav bases on there, I'll have to see if I can find some pics. It has a lot to it in terms of creatures, caves, base locations, and scenery. Its got a lot to it, and theres even a good amount of hidden easter eggs if you look hard enough. I'd very much recommend rag for any beginner ark players out there, trust me it is easier than the island lol. plus u can get dragons.
Fjordur - Fjordur is just....such an amazing map I don't even have words. Nekatus really outdid himself. It is beyond gorgeous, like, some jaw-droppingly beautiful scenery. It has so much to it, there's so many places to go and so many things to explore, so many secrets to find, so many bosses to kill and so many creatures to tame. I will say I am a little disappointed in Fenrir, but hey, nothin a mod can't fix. Or a lil bit of research on the inis for console players. Plus, all the realms are just so fucking cool. Me and my friends built a massive Viking village in Asgard, I'll make sure to get pics next time I'm on that server. The caves r so fun, and all the bossfights are amazing. I really, really love the boss system they had set up. Its so unique and gave us so much to do, plus the final boss, fenrisulfr (pronoucned fenris-ulver btw) is such a fun fight. I had an absolute blast, also I absolutely love the new dinos. Much more than the lost island ones but we'll get to that.
Aberration - Screaming and frothing at the mouth. How do I even begin to describe how amazing aberration is. Its a hauntingly beautiful map, and the lore is so good. Did you know that you can hear the whispers of the survivors rockwell killed and trapped? its creepy as hell but its just so cool. its just such a unique experience as compared to the rest of ark. Theres no flyers, yet its got some of the most dangerous dinos in the game lurking around every corner. Aberration and scorched are tied for the hardest map imo. Its super fun to play on, and in terms of creatures its got some of the best new ones. I love rock drakes I would die for them.
A Tier
The island - I'll be honest, this ones mostly just here cause of nostalgia lol. I've been playing since day 1, I remember ark before it even had all its biomes. I remember a time when the volcano was just a mountain with a hole in the top, a time when pvp was just a bunch of naked people running around with bolas and spears, when having a rex made you a god, and most of all: When mammoths had buttholes and sabers had nutsacks. Sorry I had too lol. But anyways, the islands still a pretty solid map. Its like, the base map that everyone starts out on but its harder than a lot of the maps lol. Its extremely fun, and it has some fun caves. The boss fights will always be classics to me, Does anyone else remember when the monkey's boulders could hurt the rider? that was fun. The island may not be the best map, but it always has a special place in my heart.
Extinction - Not a ton to say about extinction, its certainly a fun map and the creatures are pretty amazing, I love adhd puppies and turret raptors lol. But its not that fun to actually like, survive on. Extinctions more fun when ur playing on a cluster with access to other maps. I do like OSD's and the boss fights are fr some of the best in the game, and I absolutely adore the ost. Probably my fave tbh lol
Crystal isles - This map is like, beyond beautiful and I do really, really like the crystal wyverns. But it was rather disappointing, I mean we all kinda expected them to remove the cool variants and stuff, but I feel like removing most of the cool variants the original mod had took away a lot from the maps charm. Plus, the removal of rock drakes was just such a let down for me. I do quite like the map still, and its very fun to play on and build bases on, as well as the wyverns, they're super fun, but it doesn't do much to compel me to play on it besides just getting crystal wyverns.
B Tier
Lost island - The big thing that tanks this map for me is its new creatures. Lost islands fun ig, but it just feels like an upgraded version of the island. Its pretty, and it does have manas so yay, but still. Its fun, but there's nothing that really makes it stand out besides being the only free map with manas on it. And as I mentioned before, I really do not like the new creatures. The dinopithecus is just a reskinned thyla with the Ferox's animation, I guess it has the poop stuff but it's just a very underwhelming creature. I feel like people voted for it more because of the memes than actually wanting it. The amargas…okay, I guess. but it doesn't really add anything and is a huge pain to tame, it doesn't feel very worth it. The Sinos prolly the best out of the 3, its a pretty good travel dino, and I call them rich man's glide suits lol. Also I hate the boss fight and the caves are very much not fun.
Gen 2 - Don't get me wrong, I do like gen 2, and I feel like it approved upon a lot of gen 1's issues and added some super awesome new items into the game, but it also completely destroyed the pvp meta lol. This is very much just personal preference, but I'm not super big on all the tek sci fi stuff. I mean it is fun to use the tek bow as well as like the hoversail. Gen 2 was very heavily biased towards the pvpers, which isn't bad, but as a pve player its just that a lot of the new dinos and items aren't worth getting for me. The stryder is useful I guess but being unable to cryo it...oof lol. Maewings and shadowmanes are also useful, but like the Noglin, Astrodelphis, and Voidwyrm are completely useless in pvp. The delphis is just a fancy way to get around, the Noglin has zero use in pve, and the voidwyrm is just a wyvern that doesn't do breath dmg. They're all cool lookin dinos I guess, but again just not much of a reason for me to tame them since they're a pain in the ass. I like gen 2's scenery, rockwells garden and the eden zone are cool and pretty but to me, they aren't as pretty as like fjordur or aberration. The R-dinos were cool, but I can get all those on other maps. Cool map, and it sent ark out with a bang, but still its meh for me.
Valguero - I do quite like it, but I don't like it enuf to put it on A tier lol. I adore deinonychus and its a pretty fun map to run around on, its also super pretty and I have built some dope ass bases, but its still just not a map I play on much or have much of a reason to go on. I can get deinons on a ton of different maps, so I pretty much go over there to make a cool base lol.
C Tier
Theres only one map on here lol. I do kinda like scorched, its fun, but its just not super enjoyable. I don't hate it or anything, but I don't consider it as good as anything on B tier. It gave us wyverns and has some good base locations, as well as being the first story map, it does offer a pretty fun challenge but much like extinction its more fun on a cluster than it is alone. Its caves are like, super fun tho, I love scorched's caves and I always have a blast doing them. Buuut I wouldn't say they're like, as good as fjordurs or anything. Okayish map, just not a fav.
D Tier
Gen 1 - eugh...I made a whole other post for gen 1 and this is getting long so imma just link that and give a summary here: the missions suck balls, its biomes are lame, and I don't like it lol.
The center - I'll be honest, I totally forgot this existed lol. I do not like the center. I know its fun for pvpers but eh. It was fun back in the day, but nowadays you can just go spend ur time on another map and have more fun. I don't really like the scenery either, very, very forgettable and idk anyone who goes over to the center for any reason lol.
and thats it! sorry for the long post I love ark and I love talking abt it.
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I see you’re doing some recommendations 👀👀 what about for Seb and Danny ric??
Okay before we get into this one: I actually don't read many fics for the other drivers (aka those who are not Carlos Sainz) and because I read Maxiel on AO3 I've barely read ANY Daniel x Reader/OC works so this list is BY NO MEANS exhaustive and I would recommend checking out @sgkophie who has just done a bunch of excellent recommendations for more detail
Anyway
SEB:
005 by @daniel-ricciardhoe OH. MY. GOD. This is hands down the BEST smutty one-shot I've ever read. It has everything including Seb and a James Bond party. It's fun and sexy and perfectly in character
Paddle to the Metal by @daniel-ricciardhoe this one is... HOT. A little bit different and featuring our favourite flirty, competitive Seb and a game of table tennis
Not a single fic rec because there are far too many to choose from but if you like Seb just do yourself a favour and follow @kates-dirty-sister for the absolute motherload of fantastically written Seb fics
Rekindle by @enchantestuff another smutty one... this time featuring Nightclub!Seb and when I say I was sweating at the end of it hhooo BOY
DANNY RIC
I've said it before but Champagne Problems by @tiredbuthappy is a must. I will admit I read it because of Carlos and not Danny, but this was THE fic that made me go "Oh wait I love Daniel too"
Swimming Lessons (but also literally everything by @harley-sunday) is so fun and lighthearted and the flirting in it is top tier
Bucking Bronko by @daniel-ricciardhoe (im such a fangirl for you haha) an astounding smut set during an Austin race weekend
Mile High by @enchantestuff is also a chef's kiss horny masterpiece which I never knew I needed
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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years
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//general dating headcannons//
Characters: Daishou Suguru/ Kita Shinsuke/ Yamaguchi Tadashi
Warnings: i don’t think any??
Word Count: 2K (~650 a piece)
Notes: i am soft for kita shinsuke. that is all.
Daishou Suguru
He’s a top tier boyfriend and no one is allowed to tell me otherwise
He is a first-class WEENIE for his s/o and would genuinely do anything for them
But noooo y’all hate him smh
Daishou is the kind of person who puts every important date of your relationship in his phone.  He is never missing your anniversary or your birthday or any other important relationship dates.  
He’s a good morning/good night texter too.  I know that everyone thinks he’s an asshole, but after being broken up with for focusing too much on a club, he doesn’t want you to feel like he only cares about volleyball.  If he’s going to be busy for a few hours, he’s going to tell you so you don’t think he’s just flat out ignoring you
I promise, he will let you do anything to him if you just ask.  Want to try to curl his hair?  Cool, just please don’t burn him.  You want to pluck his eyebrows?  Go ahead.  He doesn’t mind.  Did you see this really cute nail design that you want to try? Suguru already has his hand held out towards you so you can practice.
He’s not telling anyone that he does all of this so willingly though.  He has to maintain some essence of coolness
Literally the whole volleyball team knows that he’s a total simp, so idk who the hell he thinks he’s hiding it from
His love language is quality time, so as long as he’s with you, he’s perfectly content.  Daishou will happily just sit next to you for hours, sending each other memes or stupid tiktoks.
When it comes to actually going out on dates, he’s really simple.  He likes picnics in the park or taking hikes or going stargazing.  It feels very intimate to him and allows a certain degree of vulnerability that can’t be found anywhere else.
You guys went stargazing on your first date and he brought you flowers and the two of you shared snacks it was all very cute and there was no way that you weren’t going to go on a second date with him
Speaking of flowers-
One time you made him mad over something really stupid and he brought you some flowers as a partial apology for him being overdramatic, but the card just said “fuck you” in really pretty lettering, but there was a really small, “but also, I love you” on the other side.
The two of you pick up random hobbies together?  For no other reason than the two of you spend an awful lot of time just sitting at each other's house?  So, you decided to do something other than just sit on your phones for h o u r s
You’ve made those giant arm-knitted blankets together.  One time, you tried to make soap, but it didn’t smell good so that hobby got scrapped.  You’ve tried to learn how to roller skate together, but Daishou almost broke his arm so you thought maybe something less dangerous like puzzles.  But, those got old really fast.
Please for the love of god run your hand over his arms.  He will be putty in your hands.  He loves it so much.
Better yet?  Put your hands on his biceps when he kisses you and he’s a happy boy.  His arms are the feature that he’s most proud of, so knowing that you like them too is a big boost to his ego.
He has two main nicknames for you smh.  When he’s teasing or just being a little shit, he calls you sweetheart.  If he actually wants to be affectionate, Daishou calls you babygirl.
He’ll pull you into his lap and pepper your face in kisses while telling you, “I love you, babygirl, you know that?”
If you call him ‘Sugu’ or just ‘ru’ he may actually die right there.   It just plucks something in his heart that sends him to cloud-9.  
Suguru really is a fantastic boyfriend who just wants you to be happy ;-; He wants you to smile and laugh and be comfortable around him, because he’s here for the long-haul.  When Daishou falls in love, he falls hard
Kita Shinsuke
An absolute sweetheart
He’s going to take care of you so good
Kita for sure walked straight up to you and asked you on a date.  He gave zero fucks.  Nerves?  Kita has never heard of them before. If you reject him, you reject him.  It’s not like it’s the end of the world.
You met his grandmother really early into the relationship because she’s really important to Kita, so he needed to know that she approved of you before fully committing to a relationship with you.
But, I promise, she loves you and now that Kita is finally dating someone, she’s going to pester him about wedding plans once he comes home from your date.  She doesn’t care that this is only the second date.  She wants to see her grandson married.
Kita genuinely loves domestic life?  Please please please come over and cook with him.  If you offer to help him with the dishes, he may propose right there.  Okay not literally but you know what i mean.  Come over on Saturdays for laundry and gardening.
I should mention that dating Kita isn’t always chores and housework, but even when it is, it really doesn’t feel like it?  The two of you joke around, definitely throwing dirt at one another while you’re pulling weeds in the garden or flicking water at him while doing the dishes.  
He’s an “acts of service” kind of person.  Little things like having your favorite snacks in the cabinets for when you come over or turning the heat up before you get there so it’ll be warm because he knows you get gold. You left your math binder at his house once, so he took the time to put all of the loose papers where he knew you would’ve wanted them.
If you’re a person who gets periods, he has pads and extra painkillers stocked in the bathroom cabinet.
Please note that Kita has zero shame in buying you period products.  You need tampons?  Okay.  What size and what brand?  Do you want anything else?  He can get some snacks while he’s at the store too.  You can say no and he’s going to pick up a package of pizza rolls anyway.  He knows you well enough that you’ll say no, but only tell him that you're hungry the minute he gets home.  He’s played this game before.  He knows. 
It makes his grandmother so proud, seeing him love and care so wholeheartedly for another person that isn’t related to him.  She just knows that he’ll make an excellent husband to you one day
She cares about you just as much as he does.  Kita mentioned that you weren’t feeling well once, and she packed up a bunch of leftovers and some tea for him to take over to you, pretty much telling him not to come back until you were feeling well again.
Kita doesn’t beat around the bush, so if he has something he wants to tell you, he’s just going to say it.  Communication is really important to him and he believes that it’s the key to a healthy and happy relationship.
But, because of this, it took him a while to say I love you.  He didn’t want to just say it, you know?  He wanted to genuinely mean it. He believes that that phrase gets tossed around too easily. So, it was a few months before he actually said it, but you knew that he was serious when he did.
He likes to kiss the top of your head.  If you’re tall, he enjoys kisses to your temple just as much.
I 10/10 recommend a Kita.  He would love you wholeheartedly and, don’t tell his grandmother, he really does want to spend the rest of his life with you.
Yamaguchi Tadashi
Another absolute sweetheart of a boyfriend oml
But, I promise that you’re probably going to have to make the first move if you want anything to come from this.  
He’s just so shy and nervous when talking to people that he finds cute ;-;
Although, there is a chance that Tsukishima told him to get over himself and just ask you out.  
“It’s not that big of a deal.  If they say no, you move on.” 
Shut up, Tsukki.
Yamaguchi really likes to hold your hand.  It’s really grounding for him, so if he’s ever starting to get panicked, he’ll reach for your hand.
Before every game, he has to hold your hand and he’ll squeeze it three times before he has to go.  So, if he starts to panic during the game, he has a fresh memory of the feeling of your hand in his.
Yamaguchi lets you wear his jacket during games ;-;  He didn’t even think about it as something to show you off as his, he was just worried that you might get chilly in the stands, so he offered for you to take it.
But, now he’s obsessed with how cute you look with his jacket around your shoulders that he’s letting you hold onto it whenever he gets the opportunity.  
Study dates study dates study dates
The two of you will either go to a cafe or a library and claim a table and just hang out and do homework together.  If you’re struggling with something, he’ll walk you through it.  He moved his chair close to yours so that your knees just barely brushed against one another.  
He loves to bring you little gifts.  If he sees something in a shop that reminds him of you or if he thinks you might like it, he’ll buy it and give it to you the next time he sees you.
He usually doesn’t like nicknames?  He'd rather just be called by his actual name, but something about you calling him ‘dashi’ just feels right and he really likes it.
Tadashi has a lot of insecurities, especially in the start of your relationship with him.  He doesn’t understand why you’re so willing to be with him?? He’s just a bundle of nerves and he’s convinced that you could do so much better than him, but yet you still stay with him?  
It took him a really long time to get comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship and realize that you weren’t going to just dump him because you really got to know him, but when he does get comfortable, it’s like he’s a totally new person.  His nervous laughter actually becomes more full and free and he smiles a lot wider.  He isn’t afraid to tease you and he’s a lot more open about his emotions.
Tsukki is the first one to really notice just how good you are for Yamaguchi.  Tadashi isn’t super open with anyone but him, at least, until you came along and gave Tadashi another person that he could connect with and feel comfortable around.
Tadashi loves it when you play with the hair at the base of his neck.  It feels so comforting and he would love to just fall asleep right there with your fingers in his hair.  Everytime you play with his hair, his head immediately goes to your shoulder and he’ll wrap his arms around your midsection and tell you that he loves you.
You will never go a day without Tadashi telling you that he loves you and that you’re absolutely incredible.  He finds something to compliment you on every single day because he just wants you to know that you’re loved and, while yes, he does find you absolutely beautiful, sometimes it’s nice to be complimented on things other than physical appearance and that’s where Yamaguchi really shines.
{Taglist: @moncymonce @nicka-nell @celosiiaa @lovinnoya  and my fellow daishou suguru simp @kuronekomama​}
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eradicatetehnormal · 3 years
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I'm In a Mood For SoRoku and Being Honest
To tell the truth, I first started shipping it because I was feeling burnout from my main ship at the time which was SoRiku, as well as to spite the uh...War. I also moved onto it because I saw that there was pretty much only one VenSo shipper, and that was UltySo (another god-tier ship btw).
At the time, I wasn't really invested in Roxas as a character. I just wasn't as invested in him as other KH2 players when I first played. I kinda wanted to get to Sora as quickly as possible. It took me a long time to really care for his character, and honestly, I think getting into SoRoku and meeting people who absolutely ADORED his character, I began to reevaluate him in my head. Not gonna lie, mid-key, I am a "fake fan". I don't mess with the mobile games (currently), I have yet to watch Re:Coded, and I didn't play/watch COM or 358/2 until after I played KH3. I think that it was when I got a friend to watch 35- 1 7 9 D A Y S with me that I really started to feel for Roxas and saw firsthand what he went through pre-KH2 and how much his friends really meant to him, and how tragic it was to see them come apart.
This isn't to say that I love Roxas to the same extent that I love Sora. I couldn't give the character-analysis-type essays for him that I have done for Sora in the past, but I appreciate his character and will happily call him one of the best additions to the Kingdom Hearts series due to the concept alone. Being Sora's nobody and wanting to be a separate being but then accepting your fate? That's super interesting!
N O W, Onto the ship *regular show noise*
I feel like I just recently realized how good the ship was and the P O T E N T I A L. Sora realizing the errors of his thinking towards the nobodies and telling Roxas that he deserves to be his own person, following through in KH3 by spending nearly a quarter of the game trying to figure out how to give him a proper body. Roxas resenting Sora in KH2, then accepting his "fate" as a nobody, putting his trust in someone who was a bit of a stranger, and then seeing the good in that person, and why people value him so much. TWO PEOPLE GETTING OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT DUE TO FALSE NOTIONS AND THEN GROWING TO RESPECT AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER. *whispers* the potential is strong with this one.
If only they interacted more, then more people would see what we see.
Anyway, anybody got good fic recommendations? A SFW story about the two falling in love and then not recognizing it until halfway is preferred, but not mandatory.
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forestwater87 · 4 years
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How did you become a university Librarian? Did you do an English degree? Sorry if this is a weird question it just really interests me as I’m not sure what to do when I’m older
Eeee I got really excited about this question! 
Okay, the fun thing about librarianship is that all roads can lead to it: as long as you get an ALA-approved (assuming you’re American; if you aren’t I cannot help you) graduate degree you can do just about anything for undergrad. English majors are extremely common, just by the nature of who’s into the job, but literally it doesn’t matter; in fact, weirder and more specialized degrees can actually help in certain jobs, because they give you a ton of background info and qualifications than most of your contemporaries have.
I fell into it because I worked at a library in high school and fell in love with the environment, and when I realized I’d rather die than work in publishing (my previous life’s goal) I gravitated toward library school. I knew from the beginning that I’d need a Master’s -- and a very specific one at that -- so mostly my undergrad was just “grab a foundational degree and have fun with it.” That was really freeing, honestly. I had a ton of fun in undergrad.
Now, if you, Anon, were interested in getting into librarianship I’d have a handful of recommendations. These are all based on my very American experience, and there are probably smarter people than me with better advice but I’m the only one on this blog so heeeeerrreeeee we goooooooooo!
Undergrad
You need a 4-year degree. Full-stop. It doesn’t matter what kind, but you gotta have one to get into grad school.
Like I said, you can do just about anything for an undergraduate degree. Most of the time English is the BA of choice, because librarians love them some books, but some far less common ones that I think would be hugely helpful to a hopeful librarian would be:
Computer Science: Oh my god you need at least a baseline competency in computers/technology please you don’t have to code but you need to be able to turn a computer on and navigate just about any website/office application on just about any device at the very least you need to know how to Google
Business/Marketing: Particularly if you want to work in public libraries, where a bunch of your funding comes from begging politicians and convincing taxpayers to donate/vote to give you money
Law: If you want to be a law librarian
Medical . . . whatever, I don’t know what fields of medicine there are: If you want to work in a hospital or other medical library
History or Art History: If you’re interested in archives or museum librarianship
Education: School librarians in my state require you to be a certified teacher, and no matter what kind of library you end up in, you’ll end up teaching someone something a decent amount of the time
Communications: You’ll be doing a lot of it. Public speaking, too
Spanish/ASL/any not-the-common language: Hey, you never know what your patrons speak
Literally fucking anything I promise it doesn’t matter what you major in you will use it in a library at some point
Just be aware that you will need more than an undergrad degree. You’ll need probably 2 years of postsecondary schooling (more for certain types of librarianship), so get yourself comfortable with the idea of college.
If you’re like me (please don’t be like me), you might toy with the idea of getting a minor or two/double majoring to round out your skill set. Honestly I’d encourage it if you’re comfortable with the workload and have the time or money; like I said, there are no skills or educational background that won’t come in handy at some point. I promise. We see it all.
Along those lines, a wide expanse of hobbies can be hugely helpful too! You never know when your encyclopedic knowledge of Minecraft will be useful to a patron, but it absolutely will be.
Graduate School
All right, you’ve got your lovely little Bachelor’s Degree, maybe in something weird and esoteric for the fun of it . . . now you’re off to do more school!
It’s a bit complicated, because there are a handful of different titles an appropriate degree could have; my school called it “a Master of Science in Information Science” (MSIS), but other schools might just go with “Master’s of Information Science” (MIS), “Master’s of Library Science” (MLS), “Master’s of Library and Information Science” (MLIS) . . . it’s a mess. 
What you need to do is make sure the degree is approved by the American Library Association, who decides if a program is good enough to make you a librarian in the States. (Again, if you’re not American, good luck.)
Here’s a list of ALA-accredited programs and the schools that offer them.
The nice thing is accreditation has to be renewed at least every few years, so that means your program is always updated to make sure it’s in line with national standards. I’m not promising you’ll learn everything you need to be a librarian in grad school (oh my god you so won’t not even close hahahaha), but at least in theory you’ll be learning the most up-to-date information and methods.
(I’m curious to see how things have changed; when I was in school from 2015-17, the hot topics in library science were makerspaces (especially 3D printing), turning the library into the community’s “third space,” and learning how to incorporate video games into library cataloging and programming. No idea if those are still the main hot-button issues or if we’ve moved on to something else; I imagine information literacy and fake news are a pretty big one for current library students.)
Anyway! You pick a school, you might have to take a test or two to get in -- I had to take the GRE, which is like the SATs but longer -- almost certainly have to do all that annoying stuff like references and cover letters and all that, but assuming you’re in: now what?
There are a couple options depending on the school and the program, but I’m going to base my discussion around the way my school organized their program at the time, because that’s what I know dammit and I will share my outdated information because I want to.
My school broke the degree down into 5 specializations, which you chose upon application to the program:
Archives & Records Administration: For working in archives! I took some classes here when I was flirting with the idea, and it’s a lot of book preservation, organizing and caring for old documents and non-book media, and digitization. Dovetails nicely into museum work. It’s a very specific skillset, which means there will be jobs that absolutely need what you specifically can do but also means there aren’t as many of them. It makes you whatever the opposite of a “jack of all trades” is. You’re likely to be pretty isolated, so if you want to spend all your time with books this might be a good call; it’s actually one of the few library-related options that doesn’t require a significant amount of public-facing work. 
Library & Information Services: For preparation to work in public or academic (college) libraries. Lots of focus on reference services, some cataloging, and general interacting-with-the-public. You have to like people to go into library services in general, heads up.
Information Management & Technology: Essentially meaningless, but you could in theory work as like a business consultant or otherwise do information-related things with corporations or other organizations.
Information Storage & Retrieval: Data analytics, database . . . stuff. I don’t really know. Computers or something. Numbers 3 and 4 really have nothing to do with libraries, but our school was attempting to branch out into more tech-friendly directions. That being said, both this and #3 could definitely be useful in a library! Libraries have a lot of tech, and in some ways business acumen could be helpful. All roads lead to libraries; remember that.
Library & Information Services / School Library Media Specialist: This was the big kahuna. To be a school librarian -- at least in my state -- you need to be both a certified librarian and a certified teacher, which means Master’s degrees in both fields. What our school did was basically smushed them together into a combined degree; you took a slightly expanded, insanely rigorous 2-2.5 years (instead of the traditional 1.5-2) and you came out of it with two degrees and two certifications, ready to throw your butt into an elementary, middle/junior high, or high school library. Lots of focus on education. I started here before realizing I don’t like kids at all, then panicked and left. Back in 2017 this was the best one for job security, because our state had just passed a law requiring all school librarians to be certified with a MSIS/MLS/whatever degree. So lots of people already in school libraries were desperately flinging themselves at this program, and every school was looking for someone that was qualified. No idea if that’s changed in time.
No matter what concentration you went in with, you automatically graduated with a state certification to be a librarian, which was neat. You didn’t automatically get civil service status, though; for some public libraries you need to be put on a civil service list, which means . . . something, I’m not entirely sure. It involves taking exams that are only available at certain times of the year and I gave up on it because it looked hard. 
No one did more than 1 concentration, which is dumb because I wanted to do them all, but it takes a lot of time and money to take all the classes associated with all of them so I personally did #2, which was on the upper end of mid-tier popularity. School library and database services were far and away the most popular, and literally no one did the business one because it was basically useless, so library and archives were the middle children of which the library one was prettier.
THAT BEING SAID! Some forms of librarianship require a lot more education. A few of those are:
Law librarians: At least in my state, you gotta be a certified librarian and have a J.D. This is where the “big bucks” are -- though let’s be real, if you want to be a librarian you have zero interest in big bucks; reconcile yourself to being solidly middle-class and living paycheck-to-paycheck for the rest of your life or marrying rich -- which I guess is why it requires the most work.
School librarians: Like I mentioned, depending on the state you might need two degrees, and not all schools smush them into one. You might need to get a separate Master’s in education.
College librarians: Now, this depends on the college and the job; some colleges just need an all-access librarian, like mine. I didn’t need to specialize in anything, I just showed up with my degree and they took me. (Note: these sorts of entry-level positions tend to pay piss. Like, even more piss than most library gigs. Just a heads-up.) However, if you’re looking to get into a library of a higher-end university, you might be asked to have a second Master’s-level or higher degree just to prove you’re academic enough to party at their school. (Let’s be real, Harvard is almost certainly gonna want someone with a Ph.D. at the very least. That’s just how they roll.) Alternatively, the position might be for a specialty librarian, someone in charge of a field-specific library or field-specific reference services; if you’re being asked to head up the Science & Engineering Library at Masshole University, it’s reasonable to expect that you’ll be bringing a degree in engineering or some sort of science to the table. Colleges have so many different needs that predicting what kind of experience/education you should get is a bit of a challenge. Good luck. Some schools will help you out a bit with this; my grad school had dual degree programs where you could share credits between the MSIS and either an English or History Master’s so you could graduate with both in less time. I . . . started this, and then panicked at the thought of more school/writing a thesis and bailed, but it’s great if you’re into that idea!
What’s the point of the Information/Library Science degree?
You have to have the degree. If you don’t have the degree, you don’t get the job and you don’t make-a the money. Resign yourself to getting a Master’s degree or you’re gonna be bummed out and unemployed.
In terms of what you learn? Well, obviously it depends on the program, but I found that a lot of what I learned was only theoretically related to what I do on a daily basis. My instructors were lovely (well, the adjuncts anyway; the full-timers really didn’t want to be there and wanted to be off doing research and shit), but every library is so idiosyncratic and there’s such a massive umbrella of jobs you could get in one -- god, I didn’t even get into things like metadata services, which I learned basically nothing about in grad school but are super important to some positions -- that it’s hard to learn anything practical in a classroom.
However, besides the piece of paper that lets you make-a the money, there are two important things you should get from your grad school education:
Research skills: My god, you’re going to be doing so much research. If you’re a public librarian, you need to know how to Google just about anything. And if you’re a college librarian, being able to navigate a library database and find, evaluate, and cite sources . . . I mean, you’re going to be doing so much of that, showing students how to do that. Like a ridiculous amount of my day is showing students how to find articles in the virtual library. Get good at finding things, because much like Hufflepuffs, librarians need to be great finders.
Internship(s): Just about every library program will require an internship -- usually but not always in replacement of a thesis -- and if the one you’re looking at doesn’t, dump it like James Marsden in a romantic comedy. Internships are hugely important not only because they look good on a resume and give you some of those delicious, delicious references, but they are a snapshot of what your job is going to look like on a day-in, day-out basis; if nothing else, you’ll learn really fast what does and doesn’t appeal to you. As I mentioned, I wanted to be a school librarian for about half a semester. You know what changed my mind? My class required like 40 hours of interning at schools of each level. Being plopped into that environment like a play you’re suddenly acting in? Super helpful in determining whether or not this shit is for you.
What else should I learn, then?
Besides how to research basically anything? Here are some useful skills in just about any library:
Copyright law. Holy shit, do yourself a favor and learn about publishing/distribution laws in your state. Do you wanna show a movie as a fun program? You need to buy a license and follow super specific rules or it’s illegal! Does an instructor want to make copies of their textbook to give to the students? Make sure you know how much they can copy before it’s no longer fair use! Everything in my life would be easier if I’d taken the time to learn anything about copyright. I did not, and now I’m sad. (I lost out on a job opportunity because they wanted the librarian to be particularly knowledgeable in that kinda thing, and I was very not.)
Metadata and cataloging. In theory, you should learn this in grad school, but I was only given the bare basics and it wasn’t enough. Dublin Core, MARC-21, RDF -- there are so many different kinds of metadata schema, and I took a 6-week class in this and still don’t understand any of the words I just used in this sentence. But basically, to add items to a library catalog you often need to know how to input them into your library’s system; to an extent that’ll be idiosyncratic to your library’s software, but some of it will be based on a larger cataloging framework, so familiarity with those is very useful.
Public speaking and education. You’re gonna do a lot of it. Learn how to deal.
General tech savviness. Again, we’re not talking about coding but if you can navigate a WordPress website? If you know how to troubleshoot just about any issue with Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, etc.? If you can unjam printers and install software and use social media you’re going to be a much happier person. At the very least, know how to google tutorials and fake your way through; your IT person can only do so much, and a lot of it is probably going to fall on you.
Social work, diplomacy, general human relations kinda stuff. You’re going to be dealing with all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds, with every political view, personal problem, and life experience under the sun. You need to get very good at being respectful of diversity -- even diversity you don’t like* -- and besides separating your own personal views and biases from your work, you’ll be much better equipped to roll with the punches if you have, for example, conflict resolution training. Shit’s gonna get weird sometimes, I promise. (Once a student came in swinging around butterfly knives and making ninja noises. You know who knew how to deal with that? Not me!)
Standard English writing and mechanics. It’s not fair, but in general librarians are expected to have a competent grasp on the Standard English dialect, and others are less likely to be appreciated by the general populace. Obviously this differs based on your community and environment, and colloquialisms are sometimes useful or even necessary, but as a rule of thumb it’s a good call to be able to write “properly,” even if that concept is imperialist bullshit.
*I don’t mean Nazis. Obviously I don’t mean Nazis. Though there is a robust debate in the library community about whether Nazis or TERFs or whatever should be allowed to like, use library facilities for their own group meetings or whatever. I tend to fall on the “I don’t think so” side of the conversation, but there’s a valid argument to be made about not impeding people’s access to information -- even wrong or harmful information. 
Any other advice?
Of course! I love to talk. Let’s see . . .
Get really passionate about freedom of information and access: A library’s main reason for existing is to help people get ahold of information (including fiction) that they couldn’t otherwise access. If you’re a public librarian, you have to care a lot about making sure people can access information you probably hate. (If you’re an academic librarian it’s a little more tricky, because the resources should meet a certain scholarly threshold, and if you’re a school librarian there are issues of appropriateness to deal with, but in general more info to more people is always the direction to push.) Get ready to defend your library purchases to angry patrons or even coworkers; get ready to defend your refusal to purchase something, if that’s necessary. Get ready to hold your nose and cringe while you add American Sniper to your library collection, because damn it, your patrons deserve access to the damn stupid book. Get really excited about finding new perspectives and minority representation, because that’s also something your patrons deserve access to. Get really excited about how technology can make access easier for certain patrons, and figure out how to make it happen in your library. Care about this; it’s essential that you’re passionate about information -- helping your patrons find it, making sure they can access it, evaluating it, citing it . . . all of it. Get ranty about it. Just do it.
Be prepared to move if necessary: One of my professors told us that there was one thing that would always guarantee you a job that paid well -- this was in 2016 but still -- that as long as you had it you could do whatever you wanted. And that was a suitcase. Maybe where you live is an oversaturated market (thanks for having 6 library schools in a 4-hour radius, my state). Maybe something something economic factors I don’t really understand; the point is that going into this field, you should probably make peace with the idea that you’ll probably either end up taking a job that doesn’t make enough money or struggle a lot to even find one . . . or you’re going to have to go where the jobs are. It’s a small field. Just know that might be a compromise you have to make, unless you can get a strictly remote job.
Read: This sounds stupidly obvious but it’s true! Read things that aren’t your genre, aren’t your age range; patrons are going to ask you for reading advice all the goddamn time, especially if you’re a public librarian, so the more you can be knowledgeable about whatever your patrons might ask you about, the easier your life will be. If you’re considering librarianship you probably love to read anyway, so just ride that pony as hard as you possibly can.
Learn to be okay with weeding -- even things you don’t think deserve it: You are going to have to recycle books. You’re going to have to throw away books. You’re going to have to take books out of the collection and make them disappear in some fashion or another. There are a lot of reasons -- damage and lack of readership are big ones -- and there’s no bigger red flag to a librarian than someone saying “I could never destroy a book.” That kind of nonsense is said by people who’ve never had to fit 500 books onto a shelf built for 450. Archivists are different, of course, as are historians, and everyone should have a healthy respect for books both as physical objects and as sources of information, but you’re going to have to get rid of them sometimes, and you’re just going to have to learn how to do that dispassionately.
Have fun! No one gets into this because they want money; if you want to be a librarian, or work in any library-adjacent field, it’s because you really care about the values of librarianship, or the people in your community, or preserving and sharing as great a wealth of information as possible. Your job will often be thankless and it’ll sometimes be exhausting. There will be times where it’s actually scary. And unless you’re rich as balls, it will make you stare at your student loans and sigh with despair. (You may be living in your parents’ basement while you sigh at your loans because you can’t afford to live on your own, for an example that has zero relevance to any authors of this blog, living or dead.)  I can’t tell you if it’s worth it -- though you’ll probably find out pretty quickly during your internship, because that’s what internships are for. All I can say is that I love it, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.
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quinnfebrey · 4 years
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okay okay dont yell at me but im listening to lover(the album) for the first time. like i listen to cornelia street and some other but never all 18. AND THIS SHIT SLAPS SO FUCKING HARD!!! like wtf i have recently become a proper taylor stan and this is such a great life. like evermore and folklore are the reason i have been turned and i have never been more thankful for an album. but yeah i get what you mean about london boy and all of the other songs as well TBH.
omg!!! i’m sorry if you meant for this to just be like a fun short ask bc i’m about to go off
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please listen to all her albums bro there isn’t a single one that isn’t amazing!!
if you go backwards like you’re doing now, the next one would be reputation which is SO iconic like. it’s just god tier and all the songs are absolute bops. i feel like i also have to tell you to watch miss americana the documentary first and then listen to it and then watch the reputation stadium tour to get the full experience. she went silent for like three years and then overnight took off all her old posts and changed the entire layout and it was just a snake and then look what you made me do dropped and 😳
favorites from rep: dancing with our hands tied, king of my heart, end game, call it what you want, getaway car
then there’s 1989 which is so slept on but it is genuinely my go to vibe album. like any time i’m driving or at the beach or cooking just chilling and i want to listen to stuff in the background i always put on 1989. also this was her first album doing secret sessions which is special!! for some reason i have a lot of happy feelings towards 1989 era but looking back it was also very sterile which is interesting and i think the documentary explains that a little bit but. anyway the music is fire
favorites from 1989: all you had to do was stay, i know places, clean, style, out of the woods
red is openly my least favorite t album and i don’t know why, but interestingly the songs i do like are some of my favorites of hers of all times. it is kind of a vibe bc you have to remember we opened red era with we are never ever getting back together and i knew you were trouble which was SO big of a deal at the time. everyone was like “the old taylor is deadddddd” (and she was like just wait for reputation lol). if i had to summarize red era for you, i’d tell you to look up “ikywt screaming goat” and pretend you’re 12 years old
favorites from red: HOLY GROUND AAAHHHHH, treacherous, state of grace, i almost do
speak now!!! it’s my favorite taylor album 🥺 so far nothing has dethroned it as number 1. every single song is either an absolute bop or lyrically genius or both and UGH it’s so good. this album is so special bc 1) she wrote it ALL herself, it’s the only album with zero co writers and she did it out of spite, 2) all the songs are crazy long, and 3) during this era she was doing vlogs on youtube which i highly recommend watching. speak now is honestly a very funny album but nobody ever talks about that
favorites from speak now: mine, sparks fly, last kiss, enchanted, better than revenge (we let taylor have a little misogyny as a treat), superman, and long live is in my top 5 taylor songs of all time
fearless is slept on also and i HATE that bc it perfectly sums up how to feels to be a teenage girl and it’s insane to me that taylor managed to do that without actually being a “normal” teenage girl. a lot of music reviewers rate it low and i’m like well that’s bc you’re a 50 year old man, brad!! also there’s a song on fearless called untouchable and it’s actually a cover of a song by luna halo, and i highly suggest you look it up bc the fact that taylor heard luna halo’s version and came up with what she put out is hilarious and genius at the same time. also if you listen to change knowing it’s about her record label, and knowing what you know now about scott borchetta, it’s a little 😐
favorites from fearless: the way i loved you, forever & always, hey stephen, you belong with me, you’re not sorry
according to 99% of the fandom, debut doesn’t exist. but we love her and she’s amazing and taylors baby voice is cute and you have to remember that she was like 12-16 when she wrote most of those songs. our song was written in her freshman year, the outside was written when she was like 12 and being bullied at school. to this day, tim mcgraw is still one of the best first singles from an arist i’ve ever heard
favorites from debut: stay beautiful, the outside, our song, tim mcgraw, i’m only me when i’m with you, picture to burn
ok!! there’s your homework. pls tell me what you think 😁
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davethot · 5 years
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ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES RANKED... WHY DID WE DO THIS
Please............. for the love of god view this list. Help us. We worked so fucking hard... and for what?
My roommate/best friend and I ( @kar-queen ) decided to watch ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES and then rank them from worst to best. This adventure was inspired by the YouTube video by caitlovesdisney where she also ranked every single Barbie movie. However, we wanted to do our own list since some of her choices didn’t reflect what we thought. Her list was still so awesome and I respect anyone who decides to watch all these Barbie movies. We did this because of sheer curiosity and for the sake of very scientific research. 
We thought it would be fun at first. We really did. And it was? Kind of? Just, Jesus Christ. We can no longer see pink. I have night terrors about Barbie’s ugly ass animal friends. It truly was An Experience and has left us feeling dazed and like we never want to rank things ever again. We weren’t planning on posting a written out ranking of these movies anywhere (since we were just doing it for fun between us) but we wanted some physical evidence of our labor since this whole experience took 50 years off our lives. 
Under READMORE we will rank the 36 Barbie movies from WORST TO BEST (36 to 1). HOWEVER, THERE’S A TWIST. We are ALSO ranking them based on how GAY they were (and trust me, it yielded more results than you would originally think). That way we could both get through these movies by spicing things up a little bit. Hit readmore if you’re not a coward.
DISCLAIMER: Barbie is a staple for kids and overall teaches them that anyone (though more specifically girls/women) can do/be anything, which is extremely admirable. We have no issues with Barbie as a role model for kids and this list is all in good fun. However, we are going to point out things that either frustrated us or seemed downright harmful for kids to watch and take after. Clearly Mattel/Barbie has taken great and necessary steps to be more inclusive and progressive, especially in recent years compared to their older movies. 
ANOTHER MILD DISCLAIMER: In some of these movies Barbie’s character is not named Barbie, but we’re just going to call every main girl Barbie to keep things simple and easy. Just a warning. 
ANOTHER ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: This is going to be long since there are 36 movies. Even if you read all of this you will only feel a fraction of our pain. 
WITH THAT, LET’S START WITH SOME HOT GARBAGE. LET’S GO GAMERS. 
36. BARBIE IN PRINCESS POWER (2015)
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Starting out with at the fucking bottom lads. My roommate and I were foaming at the fucking mouth watching this movie. It’s so hard to explain why this one pissed us off so much because it was nearly every single goddamn aspect of it. Here’s some bullet points to make this go by quickly and painlessly. 
- She’s a princess but then she ALSO gets super powers??? So she’s already extremely privileged, rich, and lives a comfortable lifestyle, but then she gets powers when A MAGICAL FAIRY BUTTERFLY KISSES HER CHEEK? LIKE LITERALLY JUST KISSES HER CHEEK AND BOOM SHE HAS POWERS. 
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- Her powers are really fucking boring. All she has is super strength and she can fly. 
- She treats her best friends/side kicks like shit??? These poor girls (neither rich nor princesses) dote on this fucking girl and do everything for her behind the scenes while she sucks at being a super hero. It’s really infuriating. 
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- There’s a side plot where she lets the fame get to her head. So, she starts snapping at everyone around her and just being overall a total bitch? Also her sister gets powers too and they like, fight over this said attention. Stupid. 
- At the end of the movie she apologizes to her sister, but never to her friends or the other people she walked all over? Absolutely infuriating. We don’t know how else to describe this film. Barbie was so rude and unaware of the kind of privilege she had and acted spoiled the entire time, which is why it’s ranked at the complete bottom. 
- Also there was a romantic interest, I think????? He was a reporter? Don’t remember his name. Doesn’t matter. They didn’t get together. Also the fashion and colors in this movie are horrendous. Like c’mon guys. 
Oh also how could we forget. GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. So aggressively heterosexual.
Also: We know that Barbie is usually a princess in all of these movies and usually we don’t really care, but this one was especially bad when it came to her acting so fucking privileged. I swear we’re not insane this one was just so bad when it came to that. 
35. BARBIE AND THE SECRET DOOR (2014)
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This one isn’t going to be as long or intense as Princess Power (which literally had so much wrong with it that we barely covered any of it). This one was just so offensively ugly. And boring. And stupid. I hated it so much. 
This is also another one where she’s a princess and she whines about how her life is so hard? 
In the beginning, she talks about how all she does is lay around all day and read books, and then later sings a song about how she wishes she could lay around all day and read books? Like, we stan a bookworm queen, but she acts so ungrateful for her lifestyles and then never mentions liking to read again when the main adventure of the movie starts. Just overall dumb and boring. 
Also this is so fucking ugly. Did we mention that this movie is ugly?
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I don’t know who approved of these backgrounds and colors but they’re just so hideous like it literally gives me a headache. 
GAYNESS RANK: Pretty heterosexual. Barbie doesn’t have a love interest which is kind of nice and the two girls she meets are cute friends, but not enough to be noteworthy when it comes to gay. 
34. BARBIE A PERFECT CHRISTMAS (2011)
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For being centered around Christmas, this didn’t feel like a Christmas movie at all. It tried to follow the typical plot of “We had a great Christmas planned but then oh no! So many things went wrong! But in the end all that matters is that you’re with your family and that’s what Christmas is all about :)” but they somehow managed to fuck that up? This movie is so mean? Barbie’s sisters are awful to each other, and lash out multiple times, especially at the youngest sister. Even if they tried to make up at the end the whole film felt very mean-spirited for a Christmas movie. 
The message about family was lost when they were more concerned with streaming a band performance rather than spending time with each other. It just was not great overall and left a very sour taste in our mouths. Would not recommend to show a kid around Christmas. 
GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. Pretty heterosexual. Skipper (the brunette) kind of had this weird thing with her girl friend that lived in New York but it didn’t really go anywhere. Her friend was never shown on screen, anyway. 
Also the movies really fucking ugly. We’re not even going to mention the horrendous pink Christmas trees. You’re welcome. 
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33. BARBIE MAGIC OF THE RAINBOW (2007) (also known as Fairytopia 3)
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Being the 3rd movie in the Fairytopia series, it’s by far the worst. The portrayal of Barbie/the main character was very obnoxious and careless. She was automatically good at everything she did on the first try and it was honestly so unrealistic and didn’t teach a great message at all. 
It also just, like, had these fairies attend school? To strengthen their powers, I guess? It wasn’t really explained. Barbie was very mean to a another fairy and even if they made up at the end it didn’t feel genuine. I think they were just trying to milk this Fairytopia series for everything it was worth and I’m glad it stopped after this one. 
Her bf in this one wasn’t bad, though, he was pretty sweet. He could talk to animals which was charming. 
GAYNESS RANK: Mid-tier. Even though she fought with the one fairy they had a pretty intense rivalry thing going on, which was pretty gay. Even though she had a bf they kind of barely interacted since Barbie was so engrossed with the other fairy. A few gay points I guess. Though those few gay points get taken away when her annoying fluff ball Bibble gets an ugly fluff ball girlfriend. Stupid.
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32. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE (2010)
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Okay, like... I barely watched this one so my roommate took the fall. So, I’m going to quote them for this: “This one was just written badly, objectively. The pacing was horrendous. The story was very contrived. *long pause*....... That’s all.” 
Yeah I don’t have much to say about this one either. I remember Barbie being bitchy towards her friends and her guardian. When a magic dolphin asks her to help she’s just like “no, fuck you” for literally no reason at all? She surfs but it’s not even that cool, so... wasted potential.
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GAYNESS RANK: There’s not nothing? Some potential. Her surfing buddies hang around and she hangs out with her mermaid friends as well. Other than that, though... :( (I promise there will be Barbie movies that are gay just wait) 
31. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PUPPY CHASE (2016)
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This movie... is so strange. We hated it so much, but it was also kind of ironically hilarious??? This is the second movie in the “Barbie and her Sisters + Puppies” series (which are terrible) but this one was special in how awful it was. 
Barbie is SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE SISTER. So they go on vacation to some tropical island and Barbie’s youngest sister has a dance recital to practice for, but Barbie just straight up tells her to not practice?? LIKE??? BARBIE?!
They also end up fucking deserted on this island. Everything you can think of goes wrong for them. It’s honestly incredible. At one point they’re stranded outside in the rain only eating granola bars by a fire. Barbie tries to cheer them up by playing this STUPID game called “imagine if” where they just name things that they wish would happen??? 
Oh and at the end Barbies sister ends up winning her dance recital when her whole family and an entire entourage of animals dance with her on stage. Cause, like, yeah, that’s totally fucking fair to the other contestants. 
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GAYNESS RANK: All of these Puppy movies are absolutely not gay at all bc it’s literally just Barbie and her sisters with some puppies. Don’t expect too much.  
30. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN THE GREAT PUPPY ADVENTURE (2015)
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This is the first movie in the Sisters + Puppies series and it’s pretty much just as bad as the other one, but at least Puppy Chase was funny. This one is really boring. Also forgot to mention that the puppies talk. It’s very annoying and absolutely ruins the movies. 
This movie on the surface kind of has a charming premise where they all go on vacation to the countryside/the midwest and experience a lot of small town things, and yet it doesn’t feel very genuine? As someone from the midwest I can confirm. 
Barbie and her sisters go on this treasure hunt that apparently their grandfather died trying to solve, and yet they manage to solve it within a couple days? caitlovesdisney explains it pretty well in her video if you wanna hear more about Puppy Adventure. I know you’re just dying to know more about Puppy Adventure. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie at one point talks to another woman who isn’t one of her sisters. Super exciting stuff. 
29. BARBIE THE PRINCESS AND THE POPSTAR (2012) 
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Okaaaaay, like....... this one made us really. really. mad. 
So we’ve already mentioned how Barbie acts super privileged in some of these movies, but this is the one that made us notice it. The basic premise is that there’s a princess (Barbie) and a popstar (Who Cares) and they want to switch lives. 
But the thing is they already live amazing lives? So the other Barbie film that this one borrows from (The Princess and the Pauper) loses its meaning and drama? Instead of a rich girl and poor girl trading lives, it’s just two rich girls switching lives. 
ALSO! There’s this side plot where, within the castle, they have this tree that can GROW DIAMONDS? AND THAT’S THE SOURCE OF THE KINGDOM’S WEALTH? AND YET, LATER IN THE MOVIE, THERE ARE POOR PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIAMOND TREE FOR?????
The only saving grace for this movie was that Barbie and the popstar were extremely gay. Like, having posters and pictures of each other in their rooms, gazing at each other dreamily from balconies, and subtly being very touchy-feely every time they’re together in person. That’s pretty much the only reason why it’s a bit higher than some of the others. 
GAYNESS RANK: One of the gayest ones. There are so many side glances and yearning. Shoulder touches and all that. We totally shipped these two by the end. In a different universe, in a better movie... these two could have been super cute together. 
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28. BARBIE THE PEARL PRINCESS (2014)
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Not much to say about this one. I hated it a lot more than my roommate did and I’m the one typing this all out sooooo I get the final say. I hate this movie so much. Barbie, once again, acted really privileged and was super unlikable. At one point she gets a job at a hair salon, which is kinda nice I guess? But then she’s automatically good at it without even trying? So... fuck off. 
Also there’s a seahorse with hair and it looked so ugly that I constantly wanted to cry. Please free me from the sleep paralysis demons that are the Barbie animal sidekicks. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Nothing to report. The couple girls Barbie hangs out with were barely in the movie so there were no vibes. Sad. 
27. BARBIE IN ROCK N ROYALS (2015)
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We’re getting to the mid-tier Barbie movies that we don’t have much to say about. My roommate and I just found the concept of this one to be really dumb? 
The outfits were very ugly and the singers were really bad. But there was a main character who was a black girl, which was really nice to see! They also went a little more punk than the typical frilly stuff which was nice to see. Not the worst but still ranked pretty low cause of the dumb premise and just being pretty boring overall. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This one was decently gay, pretty mid-tier. Barbie had a great potential romance with the other main girl and the way they interacted was very sweet and cute. They both had male love interests but nothing really came of it which is kinda funny. Not too much going on but enough to get a mention. 
26. BARBIE PRINCESS CHARM SCHOOL (2011)
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This was SO FRUSTRATING because it started out STRONG, but then crashed and burned really quickly. 
The movie starts out with Barbie working her ass off at a little diner to make ends meet at home. We see how her guardian can’t work and that she has a little sister and a home to support. It was really charming to see Barbie hustling to make money and felt so much more down-to-Earth than a lot of the other Barbie movies where she’s a princess and has everything she wants. 
Long story short, she wins this drawing to be enrolled in this Princess Charm School where you can learn to be royalty. In the end she finds out that she was the lost princess all along and then everything that was mentioned at the beginning is completely abandoned once this is found out. Just... super disappointing how a relatable Barbie depiction ends up being a princess all along :/
Also the fashion in this movie was super disappointing. They somehow managed to make preppy school girl outfits look bad. Sad. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This one’s pretty much on the same level as Rock n Royals. There was some potential with Barbie and her friends but not much else. Next. 
25. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE 2 (2012)
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Absolutely nothing to report. There’s some more surfing action in this one compared to the first one which is really nice. 
Imma be real with u chief... I barely remember what happens. She meets an Australian girl? She gets tricked by a French fish into transforming into a mermaid? Villain from the first movie comes back... Australian girl gets caught in a whirlpool... They save the day. 
There’s a pretty shitty part where the Australian girl wins the surfing competition but Barbie still somehow gets all the reporters’ attention and gets a sponsorship. It was sad and tbh we didn’t like that part. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Gayer than most. Her and this girl have a rivalry which is pretty cute. They playfully tease each other while surfing all the time and tbh I could totally ship it. The Australian girl’s pretty spunky which is refreshing. Too bad her Australian accent was so obviously fake it was distracting. 
24. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA (2005)
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This one gets the award for the most boring Barbie movie. We both could not even try to bring ourselves to pay attention to this one, even if my roommate was nostalgic for it. Bibble was a highlight just cause we made fun of him the whole time but it was a short-lived high. That’s all. Here’s a creepy picture we found of the main character.
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie doesn’t have a love interest at all, which is like, a point... She hangs out with the blue fairy and they’re kinda cute. Not much else, though. 
23. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA: MERMAIDIA (2006)
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My roommate is really nostalgic for this one since they grew up with it, and yet they found it hard to pay attention at all. As did I. It was pretty boring. About a week went by after we watched this one and my roommate was trying to talk about it but I literally did not remember watching it until they showed me a picture of the ugly ass snail with huge lips and it jump scared me. You had to be there I guess. 
They were mermaids... Bibble was there... typical Barbie shit. This image pretty much perfectly describes how enthralling it was to watch this. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie and the blue mermaid are a little gay. The love interest was pretty funny and cute. He did have a thing for the blue mermaid so a couple gay points get deducted. 
22. BARBIE THE 12 DANCING PRINCESSES (2006) 
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We know this one’s a classic, but we just found it to be very boring? I know this seems like a trend but we swear that we didn’t think all the Barbie movies are boring, it’s just the middle of the list. The dancing in this one was kind of nice and there was an interesting subplot where this lady was slowly poisoning their dad. 
The only thing that seemed silly was when they would stow away to the magical island... Like, why? The lady banned dancing but they could have just danced in their rooms. No one ever went in to check on them or they would have noticed they were gone anyway. So what the hell. 
Also Barbie and all of her other sisters looked exactly the same and it was hard to tell them apart. The love interest was pretty cute, though. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Nothing, absolutely zippo. They’re all sisters and she had a nice romance with the guy so. 
21. BARBIE AND THE DIAMOND CASTLE (2008)
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Gonna get this out of the way: There is basically nothing to report when it comes to the plot of this movie. Evil force upon the land. A villain. Animal sidekicks. Love interest/Ken who’s barely in the movie. Barbie defeats the evil and gets a new dress. THE END. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT.
THIS MOVIE... IS SO GAY?
This was at the top of our gay Barbie list literally the entire time (until it was dethroned, but we’ll get to that later). This story LITERALLY revolves around Barbie and her “friend” who: live together in the same house, write songs together, dream about living in a mansion together, garden together, sing while gardening together... LIKE?? Holy shit, lesbian goals. 
At one point in the film they find two heart shaped rocks in the river and make them into necklaces, which they both wear to solidify their “friendship”. We are not making this up. This entire movie was comprised of us looking incredulously at each other every time they stared longingly at one another or mentioned how much they need each other. Evidence:
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GAYNESS RANKING: Not gonna say it again. Top-tier gay. However, amazingly, not the gayest. We’ll get into that later. Regardless, we stan two beautiful lesbians living in the woods together where all they do is wear heart-shaped necklaces and sing songs about being rich one day. Amazing.
20. THUMBELINA (2009)
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A Barbie movie with an environmental message, which is fine, I guess... Overall we just kinda found this movie annoying, but still a little bit better than other ones that were either insulting or just downright boring. Ferngully for babies? 
I... Wish I could say more. I’m sorry. It’s fine if you were going to show it to a kid, I guess. We also thought this one was kinda ugly as well. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There are the two friends and we got no vibes. Absolutely zippo. Next. 
19. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND HER BUTTERFLY FAIRY FRIENDS (2008)
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Another one where we just don’t have much to say? We’re now entering the “fine” category. I wouldn’t be really mad if someone made me rewatch it, but I wouldn’t be happy with it either. 
Barbie is also a bookworm in this one, but it’s done a lot better than Secret Door. It’s kind of nice how she’s considered an outcast in this one and has to work through that. Her love interest (Carlos, we remembered his name!) was funny and brought life to the movie. Overall pretty okay!
The bunny sidekick was kind of ugly, though. Can’t win in every category.
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GAYNESS RANK: Has some promising potential, but doesn’t really deliver. Disappointing but not awful. 
18. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND THE FAIRY PRINCESS (2013)
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This one is a lot better than the first! Surprisingly, this movie deals racism in a way that is easily digestible for children while also not making light of the issue. It’s not perfect, but we found it to do its job pretty well. 
It centers around Barbie meeting a princess (Barbie isn’t a princess for once, yay!) and while the two want to be friends, the princess is a crystal wing fairy and Barbie is a butterfly wing fairy, so the princesses father objects to them being friends. 
Also great time to mention that this was the second gayest Barbie movie for many many many reasons. And trust us, topping Diamond Castle is no easy feat. 
First of all, there are SEVERAL scenes where the crystal fairy princess is completely disinterested in what’s going on but, as soon as Barbie walks in, she gets really excited and gives her her full attention. It’s EXTREMELY cute. 
Second, there’s a Beauty and the Beast esque scene where the crystal fairy gives Barbie an entire library of books, since she remembers that she loves books. They also proceed to bond over what kind of books they like and watching them geek out over that is adorable. 
Third, they sneak off to a cave so that they can hang out without the crystal fairy’s father (the king) finding them. They then go to skip rocks on a lake and the ripples make rainbows. They also dance together at a ball, and there is just so much lingering eye contact and small touches. They’re cute and we ship. 
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GAYNESS RANK: ALMOST top of the list. SUPER close. Not quite there, though. We weren’t expecting this one to be as gay as it was since it was a sequel movie, but thank god it was. 
17. BARBIE VIDEO GAME HERO (2017)
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This... is a weird one? The basic plot is that Barbie is a programmer who makes video games. She gets sucked into a video game and they need her help to rid the game of viruses. We’re really conflicted about this movie so this will benefit from some good ol fashioned bullet points. 
- It’s really cool that Barbie’s a programmer and likes to play video games, and she’s not a princess! It was very nice and modern of them to include a story like this. Very refreshing after 30 or so Barbie movies that revolve around her being a princess.
- There’s a lot of side characters who join Barbie on her quest, but none of them are interesting or memorable...
- The art style changes between “levels”, and while a cute idea, they don’t take advantage of it enough! There are only three art style changes in the whole movie, and two out of the three are really ugly. 
- There is so much Just Dance product placement in this movie. It’s cringe. 
- The plot of this movie literally... makes no sense? They say that once Barbie wins the level, the viruses attacking that said level will be destroyed, but throughout the movie every time she wins they still don’t stop??? So that’s why she had to have a bunch of characters follow her around so they wouldn’t get attacked by viruses? SO WHAT IS SHE WINNING THE LEVELS FOR?
- This movie was probably the most baby out of all of them. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it was kind of a shock after we were watching all the other Barbie films, which are more targeted towards children to tweens. This one felt like it was for toddlers. 
- Overall this movie wasn’t bad, just very strange. Would maybe recommend? Fine for your kid to watch if they want something casual and fun that involves a girl gamer. Gamers rise up. 
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GAYNESS RANK: No gay vibes at all, which is not a total epic gamer moment. Probs because this movie was very very baby so the vibes were nonexistent. Too bad since Barbie met up with a lot of cute girls. Gaymer oppression never ends :(. Press F.
16. BARBIE DOLPHIN MAGIC (2017)
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We did it lads. We found The Gayest Barbie Movie that has Ever Existed.
Before we get to that, though, I hate to admit that this is one of the Barbie’s Sisters + Puppies movies, but it’s kind of hilarious because in this one they completely remove the puppies talking. I guess someone smartened up and realized that that was stupid and dumb. Thank god for them because it made the movie infinitely better. 
Plot is simple: Barbie and her sisters are on vacation and while they’re visiting the most boring man on Earth (Ken), an emerald dolphin gets trapped by an evil marine biologist who wants to sell the dolphin for money. Then a mermaid named Isla (yes we remember her name because she’s incredible) goes to save the dolphin with the help of Barbie (with minimal contributions from the others). 
I know we raved about how Fairy Princess was very gay, but just......... wow......... The difference between this and fairy princess is that Dolphin Magic literally has an entire scene dedicated to Barbie and Isla swimming together very closely with ethereal music, littered with cute giggling, lingering shoulder touches, and extended eye contact. Oh, also can’t forget the hand holding.
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Don’t forget about the necklaces they give each other so that they can stay connected with each other no matter where they are in the world. There’s even a scene at the end where Isla mentions how Barbie kept trying to contact her multiple times off-screen, only validating Barbies insane girl crush on Isla. 
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This may or may not be photoshopped but tbh I don’t give a damn. 
GAYNESS RANK: The gayest Barbie movie. These two were so adorable throughout the entire movie and we couldn’t even get into everything that made it so charming. There were many scenes where Isla was learning how to act like a human that were so sweet and endearing. Great Barbie movie if you’re looking for something sweet with some obvious lesbians. Go team. 
15. BARBIE NUTCRACKER (2001)
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We had a lot to say about Dolphin Magic since it was gay, but now we’re getting back into the “it’s fine” category with Nutcracker. 
This movie is sweet and it’s pretty hard to fuck up a Nutcracker adaptation. There wasn’t a ton of ballet which was a little disappointing? They also didn’t play the whole soundtrack and stuck a lot of the good songs right at the end, which was odd. Our only real complaint was it kind of wasted its potential and it was slightly boring. 
Other than that, it’s a sweet Christmas movie if anyone really likes Barbie and the Nutcracker. My roommate grew up on the Nutcracker so regardless it can be pretty nostalgic for some. 
Also, Barbie is beautiful in this movie. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There literally is not another female for Barbie to interact with in this movie. There were a couple guys who could have possibly given off vibes but we felt nothing so. 
14. BARBIE A FASHION FAIRYTALE (2010)
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If there’s anything to say about this one, it’s definitely... interesting. 
So in this universe, Barbie is an actress, and she plays herself in a bunch of pre-existing Barbie movies (many of which that have already been mentioned on this list). It’s extremely meta and a little confusing???
Barbie basically gets fired from her job, Ken dumps her, and she goes to find herself in Paris with her fashion designer aunt. The most interesting thing we can really say about this movie is describing the beginning, because that was the best part by far. 
It’s also revealed that Ken did not actually dump her, so there’s a really charming side plot where Ken travels all the way from LA to Paris to sort it all out in person through a spontaneous act of romance. 
Ken ABSOLUTELY makes this movie. We quote him a lot when we’re just hanging out in the apartment. He is so cute and funny and loves Barbie so much, it’s adorable. Absolutely worth the watch to see a true himbo in action. 
Also, Ken and Barbie kiss at the end and we’re p sure this is the only movie where Barbie actually kisses any of her love interests. Fuck yeah. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There’s no gayness, but that’s okay, because the romance between Barbie and Ken is adorable. I never want anything to get between these two :’)
13. BARBIE IN A CHRISTMAS CAROL (2008)
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Not much more to say about this one other than it’s a Christmas Carol but with Barbie. It was interesting to see Barbie in a “Scrooge” role where she has to relearn how to be caring and kind. It was pretty down to Earth and felt very Christmas-y and festive. 
There was a very sweet plot of Barbie reconnecting with a girl she used to sing with as they were growing up. It was also interesting to see that while Barbie was growing up, her family would force her to practice singing rather than letting her go outside and live a normal life. This made Barbie feel a little more down-to-Earth. 
Sorry, we don’t really know what else to say. It’s fine. The cat is very ugly, though. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There’s a scene at the end, after Barbie reconnects with her friend, where she’s holding her hands and giggling a lot. It was really cute to see them be friends and to be excited about the holidays together. A couple gay points were deducted since her friend did have a love interest, though.
12. BARBIE AND THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2009)
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Not gonna lie, this one was a little... disappointing? We were really excited for this one since it’s a lot of people’s favorite, and the concept of Barbie being a musketeer (and not a princess :)) is exciting and fresh. 
The beginning of this movie was great!! Seeing Barbie practicing in the barn with her animals was just really sweet. She was wearing a cute outfit with pants a vest and the HAT. 
Though, as it went on, it started to drop off for us. The reveal of the musketeers at the end was really underwhelming, and we thought the outfits were a let down compared to Barbie’s earlier outfit in the movie. 
Other than those things, this movie was fun!! Watching all the girls be badass and learn how to fight with their unique weapons was awesome. Watching them team up was really satisfying. The prince guy was also pretty sweet. We would recommend watching this, esp if you remember it being your favorite.
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GAYNESS RANK: Has a lot of gay energy!! There are a few scenes where people are outwardly sexist towards her and yet she strives to prove them wrong. When she meets the other girls, they are coached by this old lady who can kick ass. Even though it could have been gayer it was a good time.
11. BARBIE A FAIRY SECRET (2011)
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Some people may be mad that we put this above Three Musketeers... whoops. 
Anyway this movie solely exists to give us more Amazing Ken content. This movie takes place in the same universe as Fashion Fairy Tale, so it’s the same Barbie and Ken from that movie. 
Our only complaint is that they took the domestic feel of Fashion Fairy Tale and turned it into something that had so much unnecessary magic?? Though at the same time we got A Vibe from this movie that the creators just wanted to make something silly, and it worked.
Ken is HILARIOUS in this movie, even better than Fashion Fairy Tale. Even though everyone turns into a fairy, the wings that they give Ken are small and pink and he can barely fly with them. It’s just so... funny? He also... mock-fights this other buff fairy guy?? Idk this movie is really hard to explain, sorry. We would definitely recommend this even if just for Ken. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Ken is a himbo so he automatically attracts the lesbian crowd. There’s also a plot with Barbie where she makes up with this girl who had been mean to her for the longest time, but it’s done in a way that just feels... really gay? Or at least the girl is kinda gay and Barbie doesn’t exactly realize (since she’s in a committed relationship with Ken). This movie feels like it would be more appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself.
10. BARBIE AS THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (2004)
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A lot of people are probably going to be surprised that this isn’t in our top 5, but we want to stress that this movie is good!! These top 10 Barbie movies are getting into the territory where we would absolutely recommend them because they are cute and fun, and this is exactly that!
The songs in this movie are great! However, we do have to be a little bitter towards it since this started the trend of musical Barbie movies, and many of them are shitty and bad compared to this. 
The villain of this movie....... *chefs kiss* We also quote him constantly. 
This is an example of a Barbie movie where she’s a princess but it’s very endearing and done well. She rarely comes off as spoiled. She’s very smart and brave, and we see this through her actions rather than the movie just obnoxiously telling us that she is. Also the romance between the pauper and the king was very sweet. 
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GAYNESS RANK: While this was a great set-up to be gay, it doesn’t follow through. We’re not bitter about it, though, since their love interests were very sweet. Pretty straight of them to have their cats fall in love, though :/
9. BARBIE AS THE ISLAND PRINCESS (2007)
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When we first watched this one, we thought it was extremely boring and we were going to put it kind of low, but the more we thought about it we realized that it really did have a great plot.
They brought Barbie to civilization from her deserted island and people start getting sick, so they’re blaming Barbie for bringing diseases when in reality it’s the villain using rats to poison people’s food. Also, it was so charming and interesting to see Barbie’s love interest want to be an adventurer, and he had so much more personality than a lot of other Barbie Princes. While he’s not on Ken’s level, he was so sweet. 
All in all this one definitely had one of the tightest plots with great characters that really endears you to them. It’s a little slow but def worth the watch.
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GAYNESS RANK: One of the least gay ones... Not mad though, the love interests were great. The peacock was kinda gay so... love wins. 
8. BARBIE OF SWAN LAKE (2003)
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People will ALSO be surprised that this one is so low compared to other people’s Barbie movie lists. Please, trust us, we’re not crazy, it’s just... when you’ve watched 30+ other Barbie movies the initial charm of this kind of wears off. We both are very nostalgic for this movie and yet that couldn’t even bump it into the top 5. 
A couple things we can praise: The toys were AMAZING, Barbie’s dress is BEAUTIFUL and ICONIC, the dancing and music were very gorgeous. The dancing in this movie was mocapped from real ballet dancers, so, very nice.
But... the forest animals were kind of annoying? Their outfits were kind of cute but they were still annoying? The villain’s daughter’s VOICE was just... HORRENDOUS. With the villain in Princess and the Pauper, the guy’s voice was comical but it didn’t completely take you out of the movie. This chick, however, was being so over dramatic that it wasn’t even ironically funny, it was very cringey... Just bad voice acting all around. 
Also this movie was a lot more boring than we remember. 
REGARDLESS OF ALL OF THAT, this is a CLASSIC Barbie movie and we would still recommend checking it out at least once (and rewatching if you haven’t seen it since you were a kid). 
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GAYNESS RANK: Nothing gay to report. Next.
7. BARBIE IN THE PINK SHOES (2013)
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Another... strange one. 
So Barbie is a ballet dancer about to do a performance and when her shoes break down, she goes into a store room and finds a pair of pink ballet shoes. When she puts them on, she and her friend are teleported into this alternate dimension??? Where all ballets ever are happening at the same time??? And she’s the main lead for all of them?? At once?? And there’s this ice queen villain who controls people by making them dance???????
This was the first Barbie movie we watched (we put them all in a wheel and let that decide our fate) and it sure did set the tone. 
Plot doesn’t matter though, we need to talk about... Them. Only Pink Shoes fans will understand. 
So, there are these two guys... and they’re just like... really gay??? They inspired us to apply a gay ranking to these Barbie movies, if that tells you anything. One in a prince and the other is a commoner/hunter. There are so many scenes where it cuts away from Barbie to focus on these two playfully bantering with each other (enemies to lovers 100k slowburn)? The hunter guy teaches the other how to shoot a bow and arrow by touching him and guiding him into the right position? There’s also a scene where they meet back up with Barbie, but they only have two horses, so instead of Barbie riding with one of them they ride with each other and give her her own horse??? Respect women juice...
They also show up at the end just... together? (in real life not in the... Pink Shoes dimension) and it’s not explained what they’re doing together or even what their relationship is (friendship or otherwise). It truly was bizarre. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This was on top for quite awhile since it was the first movie we watched. Unfortunately de-throned by Diamond Castle when we got around to it, but we still STAN these himbos. 
6. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PONY TALE (2013)
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I... okay hear us out...
This movie is bad. Like, objectively it’s very very bad. It’s a baby movie, a Barbie and her sisters movie, it’s a horse girl movie, on top of everything... and yet... 
We probably had the most fun watching this one, like, we were glued to the fucking screen. We cried laughing multiple times because it was just so charmingly bad. 
Plot isn’t important, since my roommate and I keep forgetting what the real plot is. We only care about the British boys from the rivaling stable and how they just breeze in and out and run away on their horses laughing like frenchmen... even though they’re British. One of them uncannily resembles Malfoy from hp and is a sidekick to the main guy, it’s a little weird. 
There are also these two British kids and the girl is super weird? Like weird girl representation for real. Also there’s this Phillipe guy who was so fucking funny to listen to. Here’s Phillipe, you’re welcome.
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Fuck you I’m not resizing the image. 
Oh also Barbie finds a magic horse with a pink mane. Phillipe wants to like, kill her for it, I guess. Yeah. 
GAYNESS RANK: While super fucking funny, not a lot of gay. It makes up for it with the mere presence of Phillipe. 
5. BARBIE AND THE MAGIC OF PEGASUS (2005)
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This and the next entry are both tied for 4th place since it was extremely hard to choose between the two. We were both nostalgic for this and the next entry, but we were also really excited to find out that both of these are great movies!
So me personally, I was a horse girl growing up, and I ADORED this movie. I didn’t think it would be so good upon rewatch, but it actually was! The plot was pretty tight, the villain was fun, it felt like a genuine fairytale, the characters were cute and fun, and Barbie was intelligent and resourceful! 
Check this one out if you haven’t seen it, but now we’re going to talk about one of the best aspects of this movie, which is Barbie’s love interest. 
Unlike every single other Barbie bf, the love interest in this one (named Aiden) was literally almost a better character than Barbie herself. For the first time EVER they decided to give a Barbie love interest a BACKSTORY. And, like, a GOOD backstory. It made him feel like a real person and his story pulled at your heartstrings. 
Also, him and Barbie do not automatically get along, and for a decent amount of time they have witty banter with one another. It really lets their characters shine through the movie and was SO refreshing. 
We could rave about Aiden all day, but you guys should just go watch it for yourself, it really is worth it!
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GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all, but fine since the romance is so great. Moving on!
4. BARBIE AS RAPUNZEL (2002)
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This movie is just... good. And not even good for a Barbie movie, it’s just a well-written movie overall! The plot was tight and remained interesting without being too complicated, either. Barbie’s animals were also pretty charming (even if the rabbit is ass ugly, but it’s 2002, they get a pass) and likable compared to other Barbie sidekicks. The dragon even has a little arc of her own??? Hell yeah. 
Don’t really have to explain the plot, it’s Rapunzel. The only difference is that she has a magical paintbrush that can teleport her to places that she paints, which helps the story progress. 
It also really did feel like Barbie was in mortal danger, which is so unlike every other Barbie movie. I was really glad to have grown up with this movie being my first exposure to Rapunzel, since I believe it’s a great introduction to her (and the toys were awesome, lol). This was another movie where Barbie being a princess was really great and charming since it felt earned since she went through hard times. 
Okay, like, we literally cannot go any further without mentioning something, stay with us...
In the movie, there’s, like, this weasel/ferret thing that belongs to the villain. He’s basically an animal villain, or whatever. 
I don’t really know how else to say this other than there’s this scene where he asks the villain to give him the rabbit and he outright just... moans????? The voice actor just... lets it out. It literally sounds like he’s getting a hand job in the recording booth in the middle of the line and just lets it all out and they kept that shit in, and then animated it???? 
We really wish we could include a video exclusively of that scene, but the best we can do is just link the video and give you a time stamp (37:49). PLEASE watch it. We have been quoting it every single day since we watched the damn movie.
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GAYNESS RANK: No gay. Nothing to report. Barren. Probably the least gay. 
3. BARBIE SPY SQUAD (2016)
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All due respect to the original queen caitlovesdisney, but like, she’s wrong about Spy Squad. Listen. 
This movie was SO MUCH FUN. We were literally just glued to the screen and having a great time watching these three girls chase after this cute af phantom thief chick??? They had tons of cops-and-robbers dialogue with her and it was just... FUN. Almost like a thriller, tbh. 
caitlovesdisney did make a great point in her video when she mentioned that they were actually pretty bad at being spies, and we can totally see why this would be super frustrating to people if they were watch. However, my roommate and I didn’t mind? We thought it was charming that they weren’t automatically great at something and that they had to practice a ton to get better. So much more refreshing compared to other Barbie stories. 
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The elephant in the room, though... we have to talk about Lazlo. 
Barbie’s friend (Theresa) has the cutest fucking romance with the boy who builds all their spy equipment throughout the movie. They’re both really nerdy, but they don’t shove it down your throat and act annoying about it? It literally just comes up in casual conversation between the two of them and they just have fun talking about things they like. It was so fucking cute and it made the movie that much better. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This movie is REALLY REALLY... APPEALING to gay people, even though it’s not really gay itself. The phantom thief, the spy outfits, all the girls riding motorcycles, the leather, the cool spy equipment... It just felt like it would appeal to a lot of gay people (and it did, cause we fuckin liked it). This movie is good. Please watch it and don’t let its low ranking on other lists dissuade you. We are right and they are wrong. 
2. THE BARBIE DIARIES (2006)
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Before yall say anything, we know that this movie is fucking ugly. We clowned on some of the other movies for being ugly but this one truly takes the ugly cake. 
HOWEVER, that did not prevent this movie from being good. We fucking loved it. 
FIRST OF ALL, Barbie is in high school???? Which was so fresh to see???? There’s no magic, no princesses. It’s literally just a down-to-Earth teen drama movie involving Barbie, her friends, a love interest, and some mean girls. 
This had a really interesting plot that was actually kind of... complicated???? Dare I say??? We’re not stupid. There was just so much going on involving couples breaking up and getting back together, Barbie changing her motivations, how her friends react to what she’s doing, just... so much.
The only real criticism we have of this one is that the apology in this one was pretty rushed and didn’t feel Barbie’s friends should have forgiven her so easily for the shit she did. Other than that, though, this was a pretty great teen drama that I would highly recommend. I would definitely watch this one again, regardless of how ugly it is. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie had a clear love interest with a guy that was super sweet (sorry we didn’t mention him but he’s one of the better love interests, love u Kev) but mean girl teen drama is always a little gay? Plus how she would go back and forth between social circles was interesting. Also her and her friends are in a band, which is always cool and appealing to the gays, at least. 
1. BARBIE STARLIGHT ADVENTURE (2016)
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We did it. We made it to the end. If there’s even one person who read this at all I would thank you but... you’ve lost along with us. BUT AT LEAST WE GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT STARLIGHT ADVENTURE. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This movie came out NOWHERE and fucking PUNCHED US IN THE FACE. When the wheel picked this one, we were starting to get burned out, and thought that since this was a newer Barbie movie it wouldn’t be very good. Boy, were we fucking wrong. 
This movie is so INTERESTING and HANDS DOWN has the best portrayal of Barbie as a character. This took such an interesting perspective on space travel, sci-fi, a slightly dystopian YA setting... it has so much going on but never feels like too much. 
Can we just start with how GORGEOUS this movie looks and how CUTE Barbie’s design is?!
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She’s wearing a VEST and PANTS!!!!! FUCK YES. 
Anyway, the plot: She lives with her dad on this deserted planet, and she takes care of the animals, while also riding a hoverboard competitively. She’s contacted by some galactic king to join a team and fix the alignment of the stars? (sorry if it’s not exactly right lol its 4am). When accepting, she also meets this girl that she had been competing with at hoverboard competitions, and they develop a really sweet friendship with each other and a few other friends/teammates. 
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Unlike the other Barbie movies, we kind of understand why everyone else looks up to Barbie as a leader figure. She makes decisions confidently and goes through so much character development. Even the villain goes through a sort of redemption arc, and it’s done fairly well!!! This is so much different from other Barbie movies. 
This feels like it could be, like, a legitimate movie that could be played in theaters rather than a straight-to-DVD Barbie movie. The animation in this was GORGEOUS, like miles better than 99% of the other movies. Plus, cute animal sidekick (FINALLY). 
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We can’t gush about this enough, people should be made aware of this movie. It’s completely worth your time. IT’S ALSO ON NETFLIX. 
GAYNESS RANK: This is another one that’s moreso appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself. However, Barbie and the other girl that rides the hoverboard have a few really gay scenes, such as meeting up in a garden late at night and riding around. They giggle and laugh with each other and have a deep conversation about life and shit while staring up at the (gorgeously animated) sky. That def gets some points. 
That’s it those are all the 36 Barbie movies ranked based off of nothing but pure............................ hubris? Stupidity? Pride? I don’t know. I’m so sorry. We fucking hated watching most of these. 
Except for Starlight Adventure.... You can stay.
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euaxel · 4 years
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heyyy, eonia. i’m reid, i’m twenty-three, still can’t read, and all i know about pjo is that it fucking rocks and the protag has the same learning disabilities that i do! also, i picked hypnos for this punk mainly to be mean to him and because in the hades game hypnos bullies me every time i die and i’m kiiiinda into it. hmu on discord one on one for the best plotting experience, but i’ll be around plenty to bug y’all in the gc too. you can read about bastard boy number one right here and under the cut we’ll get down to business. 
⟨ ELLIOT FLETCHER. TRANS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, AXEL EVERETT is actually a descendent of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-TWO year old VIDEO GAME DEVELOPMENT & COMBAT TACTICS MAJOR from BROOKLYN, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite WITTY & SELF-DEPRICATING.
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be advised, axel’s a pretty heavy character.  i’m gonna keep it brief for the bio & need-to-knows, tag around the parts with bold applicable triggers so you can skip around as needed, and tag this post accordingly, but just let me know if i miss anything and i’ll fix it & be safe reading. godspeed and i apologize in advance for bringing you all my personal punching bag as my first muse. 
the main triggers that are gonna come up are: parental abuse, alcoholism * major, mentions of bullying, drowning * major, religious trauma, and drug abuse with some harder drugs ( particularly, weed, pills and cocaine / nothing with needles. )
general stats. 
— full name ,  axel harley everett.  — nicknames/alias ,  axe, ax, wolverine jr, tyler durden jr, trouble, Who? - every professor he’s ever had. — house,  hypnos and mad about it.  — age, 22, as of today. also mad about it.  — gender,  trans male.    — pronouns,  he/him.  — sexual orientation, bisexual with a somewhat heavy masc lean.  — d.o.b, january 1st, 1999. ( generally unknown to anyone but maybe siblings, he will probably lie and say Nobody Knows... I Just Am unless he really fucks with you. ) — hometown,
phys. 
— height,  5′0ft even. furious about it. — eyes,  brown. — hair, brown.  — face claim, elliot fletcher.
misc.
— zodiac,  capricorn. — alignment,  chaotic good. — character inspo,  lip gallagher, steve rogers ( young ), ellie from tlou1, logan howlett, stiles stilinski ( if anyone says shit i will scream ), probably someone from euphoria but i’m too scared to watch that, peter parker ( andrew garfield ), shinsou hitoshi, finn mertens, marceline the vampire queen, dipper pines, this is all over the place but it’s there.  — most played spotify songs, passion for publication by anarbor, sober haha jk unless by hospital bracelet, nobody by mitski, class of 2013 by mitski, king princess’ cover of monster from adventure time, way too much phoebe bridgers, in love or whatever by future teens, and the entire front bottoms discography but especially in sickness & in flames with the hard way & bus beat well at the top of his loop.  — aesthetics,   bloody knuckles, left open and tipped over prescription bottles, walking on the carpet with socks to get that tingly feeling, skateboarding inside, dozing off at the bar, tangled legs in messy sheets, ten pillows on a twin sized mattress, laying down in the shower, brian sella’s cracky singing voice. 
bio. 
— axel was born and raised in brooklyn, new york, and he was claimed at thirteen, on his thirteenth birthday, by hypnos. — the day he was claimed, axel ceased contact with his human mother and his step-dad, and he attended a camp for half-bloods that wasn’t far from home. he spent his adolescence there year round for safety from monsters at home and abroad, then moved on to eonia.  — ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw begin ) i don’t want to be too graphic here so i’m going to plainly say that axel’s mother was a very, very bad person, and the man she married was absent at his best, physically abusive at worst. axel’s powers (  hypnokinesis, namely )  were potent and difficult to control at a young age, and as a deeply religious catholic woman, this scared his mother and influenced most of the animosity in their relationship. she was convinced that the defensive visions he created and his ability to put her to sleep ( an attempt to help her, on his end; insomnia plagued her and later, it would him, too ) were of demonic origin, and tried to drown him more than once; cleansing, she claimed. the worst instance was the day he was claimed, actually — new years day, 2012; his life was saved by hypnos, and that was the last he saw of her.   ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw end. )  —  that said, he’s a little ( very ) hydrophobic. poseidon kids do NOT fucking interact ( i’m kidding. kind of. he Will avoid a little though ) —  anyway! moving on. all of this aside, axel did his best to put his past behind him, and he was actually super stoked to learn that his powers came from somewhere good and that there was places out there for kids like him; to learn he wasn’t any kind of monster. ( still working on believing that, though.. marcelines monster.mp3 right here )  — he’s less stoked when he starts having trouble falling asleep, and really, it feels like a more cruel twist than any other fate has thrown at him ( his upbringing was chock full of mean twists, so that’s saying something ); and really, it’s more like insomnia just full on kicks in, but he can put other people to sleep. great, right? whatever, though — combat classes are kickass and he’s surrounded by babes that think he’s hilarious so things could be totally, way worse.  — ( bullying tw (brief) ) for the most part, axel was pretty well liked among his peers. he was bullied as a young kid (pre-claim), but he bit back and he bit back hard, and sure, some of that followed him into his teen years but he’s more confident by then; less fun to poke at, and absolutely unhinged when provoked, so people learn better of it. the only real lasting effect was one instant that hit him a little too deep in the inferiority, when he was seventeen — he fell in love with a girl, told her that, and found himself at the end of a very mean spirited prank. he shook it off like he did anything else, or at least — he told himself he did, even if the hurt hit him somewhere a little too deep rooted ( ie. being god’s most unlovable son would naturally land him here, right? ) love’s kinda stupid anyways, so what the hell, right?  (bullying tw end.)
— ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw begin ) this is already obscenely long so i’m just going to keep it to the point here and say he began drinking when he was sneaking booze in to camp at fifteen, and it just never stopped there. he’s also a massive stoner, which is all well, harmless and good for the most part; he’s always grinning, half-lidded, and has a room full of smoke at any given time. it’s the pills that do him in, and he did them at first just so he could get some shut eye, and... well. after that, because he’s dependent on them. but he keeps this part under wraps for the most part; it doesn’t have to be anyone’s problem but his, and it’s not a problem until it is one. partying’s fun, so is coke; so is taking a few too many xan’s, mdma.   ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw end )
FUN FACTS!!! 
— i swear he is not as doom and gloom as he sounds from the bio, and yeah, writing that made me so sad i feel like we absolutely must hone in on the fun and cute things about him!?!  — he loves dnd. he can talk about it for HOURS and if you let him, he absolutely will. — adventure time makes him cry. he’s a baby don’t let him fool you.  — very into cryptids, aliens, horror stories, conspiracy theories, in love with ryan from watcher, wanna be shane medej.  — he loves to draw! the one thing he loves about his power is what it’s done for his imagination, and sure, he mostly draws horror things, but it’s why he went into video game development. he wants to be a concept artist.  — his double major is in combat tactics because he loves fighting. he thinks it’s so fun. he’s a little nuts, actually — i mean, get hit in the face and come up grinning. all he’s ever wanted is to run a fight club and be the shortest, baddest little bitch on the planet.  — he tends to nod off in weird places because he doesn’t sleep enough at night, which is sad, but; he can seriously fall asleep anywhere. standing up, in a tree, you name it.  — he’s a hobby musician! he loves singing and playing guitar.  — he’s a huge flirt.  — loves to scare people. he’s harmless, though. like, honestly. he might make you think you’re seeing a walking toadstool but he’ll probably apologize later.  — he’s very much a singing in the shower type?  — clothes thief. friends and significant others beware.  — actually, just kind of a thief? but of weird, little things. like, just the left shoe. puts them in a little corner in his room that he has set up like an exhibit. “things you thought you lost lol” is written on the whiteboard on the wall above it. he likes collecting rocks too. he’s a little freak!!  — he’s better at the memory retrieval part of his power than the rest. naturally, as this mostly applies for other people. 
WANTED CONNECTIONS. im literally so tired of hearing myself talk... 
friends/squad. self explanatory!!!  he’s friendly, a class clown, and a loyal friend through and through; he’s also adaptable, and his demeanor is very relaxed and inviting. he’s probably gonna have 2-3 people that he’s really close with, and he’d do quite literally anything for them. seriously, don’t tempt him.  a best friend.  so this is kind of vague but. i’d really love for him to have one person that is just a tier above the rest? they’d know things about him that are like pulling teeth to find out ( aka, anything deeper than his most recommended podcasts and loudmouth opinions on non important things ), someone who will call him on his shit, and maybe take care of his stupid little self when he gets too fucked up, because they’d be someone he trusts enough to let them.   enemies?    he probably gets along with most people until given a reason not to? but he is a loud mouth and if one of his friends gets into drama, he will stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and he will throw hands, so it could happen.
harmless rivalries. maybe even steamy ones. he’s a little shit and he likes banter so, so, so much? if given the opportunity and if someone rubs him a certain type of way, he’s so not above being a menace, although never super maliciously. just, you know, annoying the shit out of them on purpose, for fun. he’s also not above blowing a few kisses their way.
current hookups. self explanatory too. he’s a little harlot. HFBHVFNJ. it’s gonna be kinda hard to go beyond sex with him because he’s very deep in his own insecurity but he does catch feelings, he’s just mad about it when he does. i’m mostly gonna go off chem for that though! an ex. could be on friendly terms? but, it should be noted that he could’ve ghosted someone too; or pulled from the relationship when things got serious and he couldn’t choke out that ‘i love you’, even if he felt it. worse, if he did choke it out, but they didn’t feel the same way.  siblings. hypnos kids he is gonna be so protective of all of u... family is hard for axel, i’m ngl, but he really wants one is the tragedy of it all, i guess? so he just really wants to be a good brother. he thinks hypnos is kind of a dick for making him but he tries not to fault him for his existence. fuck u dad i dont wanna be alive feels a little unfair. HDBHFDSJ. anyways he’s a good brother even if he is absolutely so reckless and terrifying in regards to himself but his siblings. his siblings he will do anything for. ALSO!!! FOUND FAMILY!!!! it would be kinda nice if he bonded with someone a little older maybe, could be outside of the hypnos house even, someone he’s kind of a bratty-little-brother type with.... or bratty older brother that takes your things and makes you laugh, y’know. 
PERSONALITY.  just tacking this part of the app on at the end too to highlight parts that i think are important for understanding who he is, and just so it’s all in one place!
toothy grins, half-lidded eyes, and keepin’ them laughing is what it’s all about, baby. axel walks with more confidence in his posture than he’s earned ( or claimed, for that matter ), and it’s the backbone of what gets him by. he’s a glowing example of the fake it ‘til you make it mentality, and he knows what he wants, usually how to get it, and doesn’t mind letting you know that. there’s an ever present mischievous glint in his eyes that says more about what to expect from him than he does, and that’s still not much? he likes to have fun, and there isn’t a whole lot of regard for righteousness or responsibility on his end, but hey! it’s usually only ever at his own expense, so what’s the damage? he’s an absolute clown and he knows it.
axel loves people. he does — you might not guess that with how elusive he is, but it’s true. there’s nothing he likes more than a good conversation with someone interesting, or maybe not even then; if there’s a sparkle in you, he’ll see it. ( might even draw it, not that you’d ever know. ) he’s warm, loyal, compassionate, relaxed, and understanding; and none of that is at the cost of being passive, or lacking passion. 
as long as the vibes are right, he’s happy to just be; though, he’s known to have a fuse for certain provocations, and will jump readily at chance to fight in someone else’s honor. also, it’s not unlike him to spar for the sake of sparring; but that’s all in good fun, no worries.
there’s no way to sugarcoat it — axel has an inferiority complex. where that stems from is something he’s more self-aware of than he’s willing to admit, but he doesn’t have the patience or the will to dissect it; much less do anything about it, and he’s as bull-headed as they come — especially regarding anything related to the psyche. how much this impacts his demeanor and relationships with others varies on the situation, but one constant is that he’s going to retreat before things get bad; even if ‘things are getting bad’ exists only as his own paranoia-born hypothetical.
things can’t go bad if you don’t let them, and he’s content to keep it that way; even if it means being stuck in the stasis of missed opportunities. it’s when he’s retreating into himself that he can get irritable, anxious, jumpy; secretive, defensive, even. he’s personable until he isn’t, essentially.
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arcaneranger · 5 years
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Final Thoughts - Netflix Exclusives 2018
Oh my god you guys, I’m finally done. I’m free from the prison of 2018, just in time to actually finish my premieres for spring of 2019. But first, let’s talk!
2018 was the year that Netflix really went all-in on producing its own anime and picking up some big names, so we saw Devilman Crybaby made specifically for the service and high-profile shows like Dragon Pilot and Hi-Score Girl basically hijacked by the streaming service and delayed for months in the U.S. so that the biggest name in the game could release everything in bingeable packages. Unfortunately, bringing in an auteur like Masaaki Yuasa for Crybaby and throwing all the damn money at him worked so well that, long before any of these shows would even premiere, they decided to seemingly take any anime pitch under the sun, and wound up financing disasters like Hero Mask and B: The Beginning. Really, these shows kind of run the full gamut from garbage to god-tier, with an unfortunate tipping of the scale in the wrong direction. I haven’t gotten to see Ingress yet at the time of publication though, so we’ll have to see whether 2019 will start in a good direction.
ANYWAY.
DROPPED
WORST OF NETFLIX: Back Street Girls -GOKUDOLS-
I still don’t get how anyone thought this was worth promoting. The entire concept is offensive, and yet it was directed by a master and veteran of the medium (who is also a woman), leading me to just throw my hands in the air and resign myself to never having a satisfactory answer for why Netflix would pick this up to begin with. Dropped after 1 episode.
Hero Mask
One of the most incompetently written first episodes I’ve ever seen gave me absolutely no hope that Hero Mask was going to actualize into anything watchable or even average-looking. It was boring and unintelligible. Dropped after 1 episode.
Fate/EXTRA: Last Encore
What the fuck was Akiyuki Shinbo even doing on Fate? Did he do this at the expense of season 3 of March comes in like a lion or something? Probably not, but geez... This seems much more like someone attempting to copy his style than the genuine article, but nope, there’s his director credit. In the end, I suppose that Fate/EXTRA, despite being a very interesting game, was not ever going to be adapted well - the protagonist is almost literally a blank slate for a self-insert of the player, and their servant is also not set in stone - but I kind of would have rather had nothing than this. Dropped after 2 episodes.
SWORDGAI The Animation
Oh hey, yet another “the Animation”, it definitely doesn’t sound pretentious yet. I don’t have much to say on SWORDGAI, or at least not any more than anyone else - it’s stupid, very earnestly stupid, and doesn’t seem aware enough of that fact to be entertaining for more than a hate watch - and my hate plate is full already. Dropped after 1 episode.
Last Hope
I remember almost nothing about Last Hope other than that it was both pretentious and nonsensical, which kind of illustrates why Yoshiyuki Tomino is wise enough to stay out of anything that isn’t his beautiful Gundam baby, and it’s a shame that Kawamori (father of Super Dimensional Fortress Macross) doesn’t stick with what he knows, which is mech design. (No, seriously, he’s got a ton of credits on MAL and they’re almost all for that.) Dropped after 1 episode.
BAKI
Oh, BAKI, it’s okay, you’re a remnant from a different time. That time was right around when Mars of Destruction seemed like a good idea. It’s not that bad so I shouldn’t really mention them in the same sentence, but the hyper-violent imagery of this show is on the level of the Berserk manga. It’s unfortunate that I had to leave it after one episode because Netflix picked up a sequel that relies heavily on your pre-existing investment (just like with the Dragons TV show, for the record). Dropped after 1 episode.
A.I.C.O. Incarnation
I stuck with this one longer than any other that I didn’t drop, but in hindsight I shouldn’t have wasted my time. It’s one of the worst-looking Bones productions I’ve ever seen and the plot is a dumb ripoff of a much better science fiction series. Dropped after six episodes.
B: The Beginning
Probably the biggest waste of money on this list, B has such lavish animation that you can almost forget that you have absolutely no clue what’s happening or what the context of the story even is. It tries really hard to be both Psycho-Pass and Death Note at the same time to the point of cutting between them multiple times per scene, and it just ends up a badly jumbled mess, albeit one with really pretty colors. Dropped after 3 episodes.
Kakegurui
I still don’t have much to say here because the topic has been so thoroughly covered by The Anime Pope, so I’ll resummarize here - this is a show about gambling where the stakes seem utterly meaningless, even though it tries to impress us by showering money on the characters.
Children of the Whales
It’s so pretty, but it’s so boring. Children of the Whales succeeds in looking beautiful, but fails as a story that wants to be grim and apocalyptic but comes across as a soft-hearted small-village story that gets surprisingly violent four episodes in. This should have been the tone from the beginning, and the entire thing needed a good kick in the pants. Dropped after five episodes.
FINISHED
Sirius the Jaeger (6/10)
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One that I waited a long time for after seeing the PV at Anime Central last year, and wound up pretty disappointed by in general. It looks nice (...at first), given that P.A. Works at least knows how to make a show visually appealing on a consistent basis, but the plot jumps so far into cliched stupidity by the end that, even though it had a few twists I wasn’t expecting, they couldn’t save it from being something I won’t recommend to anyone with as much anime experience as myself.
Lost Song (7/10)
(Author’s note: Yeah, apparently nobody on all of Tumblr has made a GIF of this one...)
Lost Song was a pleasant surprise that I wasn’t expecting to be invested enough to finish. One of the best of LIDENFILMS’ output, it manages to weave together a decent fantasy Symphogear AU fanfic, with interesting third-act twists peppering the last few episodes that made it memorable despite looking pretty generic. There’s a sequel due this year, too!
Hi Score Girl (7/10)
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A very visually distinctive show with a neat concept that didn’t dive far enough into the heavy subjects it brings up, Hi Score Girl sits in a place where I like the presentation of it a lot more than I like the story. Don’t get me wrong, the romance is certainly cute, and I won’t begrudge a love triangle if it’s meant to be the primary conflict of a show, but the fact that it spent most of its last episode setting up for later robbed it of the chance to give us a satisfying place to leave off until the next part of this adaptation. Luckily, it got a second season, hopefully to finish the adaptation later this year.
Forest of Piano (7/10)
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A good first try by a fledgling studio, but not one that lives up to what it really wants to be due to some very bad habits. I still distinctly remember the constant character shilling, and it feels like the story could have happened a little faster if not for the breaks every few minutes to heap praise upon the protagonist. Also, the mo-cap piano playing still looks weird. I’ll probably watch the sequel though, to see if it gets concluded well.
Dragon Pilot: Hisone to Masotan (8/10)
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I literally just did my write-up for this one, so I don’t have much new to say here, but I’m pleased that Dragon Pilot turned out as well as it did despite not being what I quite expected from it.
Aggretsuko (8/10)
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A fantastic and rather unorthodox look at what it’s actually like to be an adult in the Japanese workforce, Aggretsuko was an early darling of the year, and the only things that could have made it better were a more interesting visual presentation and a less squirrelly ending. Shame that the Christmas Special was...not good.
Devilman Crybaby (9/10)
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It was so, so good...right up until the end. Yeah, that’s the only thing holding this back from a perfect score - I really, really hate the ending, and it needed to be changed. I know that, for most people, the best show of the year was either this one, or the most conspicuous work that hasn’t yet appeared on this list, though, so…
BEST NETFLIX SHOW OF THE YEAR: Violet Evergarden (10/10)
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Oh God, what beautiful cry-porn. I hope that Kyoto Animation was paid well for their best show in years, and I’m kind of shocked that the two shows that made me sob the most this year both came out in the same season (thanks, A Place Further Than the Universe). I won’t spoil more than I did in my original review, but Netflix should be pushing this to literally everyone who would be even casually interested in watching it.
And that’s it! Last but not least, the last list won’t be a roundup of the whole year (since, you know, I’ve already done that in big chunks), but a list of the Class of 2018 Superlatives. Look forward to it!
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sailorstarr-chan4 · 4 years
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Manga Update: Red River
Volumes: 28
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Favorite Characters: Yuri, Kail, Rusafa, Hadi and the twins Shala and Ryui (honestly the main cast is so good)
Favorite Pairing: Yuri x Kail (aaaaaaaaand maybe lowkey Yuri x Rusafa ^^”)
Pros: Where do I start??? Absolutely FANTASTIC and entertaining story; beautiful, crisp, clean artwork, making for smooth reading, gorgeous scenery, and easy-to-follow action scenes; Historical Drama and Angst through the roof; sweeping breathtaking romance; absolutely FANTASTIC character development; a perfect blend of real world history and a time-traveling plot; a giant yet memorable supporting cast; loads of Feels; it’s just really AMAZING, OKAY????
Cons: tw: assault and attempted rape..... *le sigh* This was a 90′s manga and set in B.C. era soooo..... consent is a bit squiffy at best. >.>” Actual rape doesn’t happen (on page, anyway), but a LOT of attempted rape does, as well as one or two fucked up backstories, because... well.... 90′s shoujo manga/historical drama -.-” Basically, it’s definitely more fitting for mature audiences. Proceed with caution. Literally, though that’s its ONLY real problem which is frustrating ngl
Recommended for: Fans of Inuyasha, Fushigi Yuugi, and other “isekai” anime/manga titles that go back in time in our history, or a fantastical part of history. Or anyone who’s a slut for an epic romance like yours truly. 
~~
What is it about: a young modern Japanese girl is pulled (quite literally) back in time through a puddle by an evil ancient queen with water magic who wants to sacrifice her so that her son will become king. Through various close calls, Yuri is nearly killed and assaulted multiple times while her head is still spinning by “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO MEEEEEE???” issue, but eventually is thrust under the protection of Prince Kail, and has to play pretend-concubine with him in order to survive in a palace where the queen wants her dead. (Yes, this totally is a “fake dating” story dkjbngerdhgje) As time goes on, this dangerous game moves deeper into the political web, while Yuri and Kail’s “pretend lovers” scheme grows slowly into actual true love, and Yuri learns to adapt and grow in the harsh world she’s been forced to live in. She embodies the unexpected role of Ishatar, the “goddess of war,” which was initially to keep her safe, and becomes an inspiration to all as she overcomes adversity time and time again. 
Okay. Okay okay okay. *deep inhale*
THIS IS THE SERIOUSLY THE MOST UNDERRATED GEM I’VE EVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE TO COME ACROSS!!! Seriously, if I didn’t see the first volume at my local library three years ago, I probably never would have discovered this title! At the time, I could only read the first volume, but then, earlier this month, I reread it online and plunged onward to the rest of the series, not touching any other manga titles until I finished it. Which is a rarity for me, since I normally juggle a ton of manga titles lol XD
This series has it all: palace intrigue, political schemes, sweeping romance, Soap Opera Drama, multiple dramatic death scenes that hit you right in the feels, battle scenes, attempted assassinations (among other things), mind-control a la water magic, various cool and awesome details about the ancient world, betrayal, truths revealed, excellent characterization, Drama, Angst, Romance, did I mention Drama???
In short: it is well-written, God-Tier Trash and I love every bit of it. 
I say Trash because of the convoluted plots and schemes concocted by Queen Nakia and her sidekick Urhui, as well as the....er.... problematic elements that are ALWAYS interrupted by Kail or someone else coming to Yuri’s rescue (you know, the “oh nooo, I’m about to be raped, but it’s okay because it was interrupted at the literal last minute!” plot device.... *siiiiiiiiiiiigh*). Thankfully, THAT stuff is diminished significantly in the second half of the series, but yeesh... But it’s still God-Tier Trash because it isn’t just some mindless self-indulgent fantasy. There’s just so much heart in this series and so much beauty and detail, and it breaks my heart that it never got its own anime adaptation, nor a strong following. There are fans, yes, as I noticed in the comments on manganelo.com, but so few compared to bigger titles. Perhaps it was published at the wrong time, in the middle of the manga and anime renaissance of the 90s where more popular titles would overshadow the rest.... 
In any case, if you’re intrigued by my fangirling/ramble and think you can handle.... problematic elements, I highly highly recommend this underrated manga title! 
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trunkzbriefs · 6 years
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hey i was curious how u learned to code ? r u using some sort of program of anything ??
TO BE HONEST i dont know how i came to learn how to code/program since there isnt really a set point for it! when i was a lot younger i took a class for the scratch programming language, and then i eventually learned a Very small amount of javascript and literally just took off doing whatever from there and learning a little bit of whatever i needed to know for what i wanted to do at the time. im in adhd self taught hell which isnt the best way to do things lmao, im not ‘fluent’ in any programming language which is often a downside. 
id recommend at least knowing a good chunk of one programming language before jumping around to others (there are a lot of resources for learning how to program, theres like this weird idea i see ppl get that the tutorial isnt good unless its like a 3000 dollar paid course but theres good stuff out there its just a matter of how hard youre willing to look to find it) but the one you should learn is 100% dependent on what youre trying to do with what if that makes sense. i have no idea what to recommend for a ‘starting’ language but i think most people would say like.. javascript? since its similar to some other languages?…
(but personally i find asking “what should i start with to learn programming” is like asking “what language should i learn first to start learning this other language?” you may have a few of the same words or same sentence structure, but when it comes down to it youre still learning a different language, so i would just jump into what you want to jump into :v but thats literally just how I think and that might be totally backwards to some people gdhjfdhgfd)
but anyway as far as the actual game stuff im making and messing around with right now, i use gamemaker studio (the first one) and id 100% recommend it if you want to get into developing! i think my biggest mistake with things is i tried to create my first stuff completely from scratch (c++ things.. love2d nd lua… heheghh) or i tried to mess with a bigger engine (unreal, embarrassingly unity also) bc i was super super stubborn and i didnt want any “””extra help””” with things which is a very bad bullshit mindset >_>
it is by far the easiest thing ive ever used to make anything (besides maybe rpgmaker but thats very limited) it has a drag and drop feature so you can create a whole game without programming/coding at all! but id recommend at least trying to code with it because it gives more freedom.
gamemaker studio has its own programming language called gamemaker language that i feel is a lot easier to pick up than other things and theres a ton of helpful tutorials for it, (seriously shaun spalding is God tier when it comes to gms tutorials) so its totally worth giving coding a shot in your game, even if youre just using it to make your character move. i would absolutely just jump into learning GML if thats the kind of stuff you want to know how to do
downsides to GMS is that its a mainly 2d-focused game maker, and it costs money but it occasionally goes on sale on steam + the free trial has no expiration, so you can take your time getting comfortable with it before you purchase it!
on ANOTHER note, if this was in reference to things like my discord bots - first of all i am Sorry, and second they run javascript but you can also use python for them! theyre easy to make imo because you dont really need to know how most stuff works- you can get pretty far just copy pasting code if you want to have fun just making a personal bot. there are a ton of tutorials, but this one is a personal fave ehe
anyway i kind of rambled because this is a very old hyperfix of mine i am So sorry. im not the best at explaining things and i am known to trail off topic but i hope like ANY of this made sense or helped in ANY way lmao, if you (or anyone else?) needs clarification feel free to ask on a specific subject and ill answer the best i can!!! (and try not to get too excited and trail off like this jhgfdhf)
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oneddashone · 4 years
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Games of the Year 2020
Given that I don't think anyone reads this, especially since I've largely stopped using it for anything other than these lists, it feels silly to write an intro on "what a weird year 2020 was" or whatever. It is worth mentioning, however, that in a "normal" year, it's quite possible that my GotY would have been different.
I think every game on this list was played on the Nintendo Switch, which, aside from FIFA, is really the only device I play games on these days. I've waxed poetic about this in the past, so there's no reason to talk much more about this now. I'm really hoping a "Switch Pro" comes out next year—to me, that's much more interesting and desirable than either a PS5 or X-Box Series Whatever.
Anyway, on to the list.
***RECOMMENDED*** What the Golf Minecraft Dungeons Bubble Bobble 4 Friends Mr Driller DrillLand Carrion Panzer Paladin A Short Hike Part Time UFO Immortals Fenyx Rising
I kept a list of all the games I played this year, and more than half didn't make the cut at all, so the games in this lowest category are all still extremely worthwhile games, in my opinion. What the Golf was originally a mobile game, but I played it on the Switch and had a blast. Very funny and inventive, and more than enough "game" there, in case you were wondering. I played through and beat Minecraft Dungeons with my daughter, which was a blast. She knew all the lore, and I knew the genre, so we were genuinely able to help each other out throughout the game. The new games in the Bubble Bobble and Mr Driller franchises were largely carried by my nostalgia for them—neither was perfect, but absolutely worth the investment if you care about the series. DrillLand in particular had some surprisingly inventive takes on the established formula.
Carrion and Panzer Paladin were nice surprises when they came out. A lot was written about the former when it debuted and I don't have much to add to that conversation, but I didn't see nearly as much love for Panzer Paladin. It's a fun little retro platformer, something like a "12 bit" art style, and you play through levels in any order you want, a la Mega Man. The most interesting part of the game to me is actually the weapon management system—you get a ton of weapons throughout the game, and the real strategy lies in choosing when to break certain ones, maintaining a steady supply of good ones, and even in using them to trigger checkpoints.
I watched my friend Ben stream A Short Hike when it first came out on PC, and I was excited to finally play it myself. It didn't disappoint, and I loved the relative short length, combined with the overall carefree and relaxed vibe. My daughter played through to the end too, which was nice. Another short-ish game this year was Part Time UFO, which, like What the Golf, was a originally a mobile game. Part Time UFO was made by HAL, and it shows throughout—most obviously in that Kirby shows up in the background from time to time, but also in the overall craft and polish.
The last game in this tier is Immortals: Fenix Rising, which nearly ended up being a tier higher, but in the end it just felt better here. This is a great take on an Ubisoft BotW clone (which I mean in the nicest way possible), and the setting is fantastic, but ultimately there are some key flaws that hold it back for me. Ubisoft's seemingly insatiable appetite to Get More Money Out of the Player, even after they've purchased the game, comes to mind immediately. Requiring a login and creation of an Ubisoft account is another. You don't really think about these things when you're playing the actual game, which is great, but it ended up being enough for me to dock it a little bit in the end.
***ESSENTIAL*** Kentucky Route Zero: TV Edition One Step to Eden Streets of Rage 4 Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin
Kentucky Route Zero is another game that I feel like has already been written about and discussed a lot, and I don't know what I have to add to that. I'm so glad it ended up on consoles—it always seemed to me like the kind of game that would be trapped on PCs forever. The one moment that will always stick out for me was when I was playing it in bed one night with the kid. We found something in our inventory that had a phone number written on the back, so, in effort to kind of indulge her and be a little goofy, I decided to actually call it. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure wasn't the fully realized "Guide to Echo River" (voiced by Will fucking Oldham!) that we got. It was an incredible experience, one of many in this extremely beautiful, thoughtful game.
One Step to Eden introduced me to a game genre I didn't know I needed—basically, "what if deck-based roguelite, but with an action-based real-time dexterity component?" It's all well and good to create a perfect deck in something like Slay the Spire, where any nerd can take as long as they need to run their perfect calculations or whatever during their turn, but it's really something else to try and do it while dodging complex enemy attack patterns at the same time. I feel like I read that this was based off a Mega Man spin-off, but to me it felt like a breath of fresh air in the increasingly oversaturated roguelike genre (oh, but more on that later).
Streets of Rage 4 is the perfection of a genre that I thought I was completely done with, and one that I think a lot of other people were done with too. Belt-scrollers made a certain amount of game design sense when they were first introduced in arcades, what with the goal being to collect as many of your quarters as possible—but the gameplay hook suffers tremendously when there's no tangible cost to failing. And yet the team behind SoR4 breathed new life into the genre, via incredible art, animations, and music. Most importantly of course is how it feels, and the deep combat system allows players of all different skill and interest levels to get exactly as much out of the game as they put into it. A friend played this in a much deeper way than I did, chaining combos across entire levels at times—whereas I just played through twice—and yet we both came away from it completely satisfied. This is a masterpiece of the genre.
Clubhouse Games is a sequel of sorts to the DS game of the same name. The first thing I think of when recalling this game is just the incredible amount of craft that clearly went into making it. From the heavy thud of the Hanafuda cards being forcefully plopped down to the sound of marbles jostling in Mancala, every little detail of this game has been thoughtfully executed. Sure, there's a few games I played once and never wanted to play again, but mostly this collection is just an outstanding bang for your buck. It also succeeds as a kind of virtual history lesson/tour of the best and most-loved tabletop games from around the world; and, especially during a pandemic, who could say no to that?
Sakuna snuck up on me towards the end of the year. Apparently it was first announced as a PS4 exclusive, but Nintendo saw it and rightfully made a big effort to get it on its platform as well. The gameplay mostly consists of an incredibly satisfying loop of starting the day by tending to your rice field, in full 3D life sim style, and then going out and exploring levels in fairly fast-paced 2D action/platforming levels. During the 2D parts, you'll find supplies that help your rice field, and by completing tasks there you'll unlock better equipment and weapons for the platforming levels. On top of all of that, there's a night/day cycle as well as a seasonal one, which vastly changes the type and amount of work you need to do in the field each day. That might sound like a lot, but it all snaps together wonderfully, leading me to quite a few "well I'll just play one more day" long nights. Oh and I haven't even mentioned the clear reverence shown towards the surprisingly complicated act of actually growing rice—every step of the way is a different kind of mini-game, essentially, and I ended up taking a lot of pride in making the best rice that I could. This is one I'll definitely still be playing into the new year.
***RUNNER UP*** Hades
Everyone's favorite horned-up mythological roguelike ensnared me pretty deeply when the full version was released on Switch this year. I had seen snippets of it on Early Access, which was enough to pique my interest, but I was still caught pretty off-guard by just how incredible this game actually turned out to be.
I haven't talked much about story in these write-ups so far, but it's clearly the first place to start with Hades. If I had to pick one thing to set it apart from similar games, it would be how perfectly the notion of dying and restarting is to the central story of Zagreus. Every time you die in an unsuccessful run, which will be a lot early on, you're encouraged by NPCs to try again—and not only that, it makes thematic sense with—and in fact is central to—the story of the game. This completely removes the sting of feeling underpowered and kind of helpless in your early runs, and to keep playing and powering through it.
The pantheon of gods in this game will show up and offer to help by way of boons. These grant you temporary new abilities, which not only vary depending on which weapon you've picked, but will also combine with and modify other boons that you pick up in the run—not unlike the weapon synergy of Binding of Isaac, for example. The gods have their own agenda, of course, but with some experience you'll start to favor certain builds over others, and to try to and build towards a fully-optimized set of skills to tackle the underworld. Then again, sometimes you'll get something you've never seen before, and change up your tactics on the fly. It's all very rewarding and incredibly replayable.
As with a lot of roguelikes, you do carry some things forward from run to run. As you unlock all of the weapons, purchase upgrades and new abilities, and naturally start to learn how the game works and improve your own strategy, you slowly begin to feel much stronger and eventually, well, god-like. The near-perfect difficulty curve gives players of all skill levels complete control over how hard or easy to make the game for themselves. This carries over perfectly into the "Pact of Punishment" system that's unlocked after your first successful run, which lets you dial up the difficulty to frankly fiendish levels in order to, first and foremost, keep skilled players engaged, but also to provide a ton of "end-game" content for those that want to keep playing.
And really, you'll want to keep playing. The first ending is just the beginning, as the story compels you to keep playing and see how everyone's stories pan out. The NPCs are incredibly well-written and the voice-acting more than lives up to the lines they're given. I was completely invested in these characters and the fates they would have to reckon with by the end.
I got my tenth clear—the first one to roll credits—fittingly enough on attempt #69 (nice). This seemed like where the game naturally "ended," and I put it down—even though there's still a ton of previously mentioned end-game stuff I could do in the game if I wanted. But the end of Zag's main story felt so pitch-perfect, and so earned by the experience with the game overall, that I decided to leave it on that perfect high note.
***GOTY*** Animal Crossing: New Horizons
This wasn't my first Animal Crossing game (it was, I think, my...fourth?), but it was the first Animal Crossing game that a lot of my friends played, and that alone made for a different experience than I've had with the series before. In the early days of quarantine, we were visiting each other's islands every day, trading items, sharing insider tips on the Stalk Market, and just generally enjoying the game in a social way that was suddenly not allowed in day to day real life.
For the most part, that lasted for about a month. Maybe two. But I kept playing, every day, for a few reasons. First was that I have a lot of time with this series, and more or less knew what to expect going in. I didn't get disappointed when Nook's Shop was mostly just stocking items I already had, for instance. But more importantly, I knew not to burn myself out on it early on. And look, I know there's no "right" or "wrong" way to play a game, but Animal Crossing (at least to me) seems unique in that the gameplay is so clearly designed to be enjoyed in 20-30 minute, daily chunks. There's just not that much to *do* after a half hour or so, but I was seeing friends' hours totals in triple digits after just a few weeks.
Two other things unique to this entry helped keep it persistent for me, I think. One, Nintendo committed to and delivered on a regular update schedule, which kept things fresh (and safe from the naughty time travelers of the world, even). Pretty much every month, something brand new happened, and it was enough to keep my interest even after I'd donated every fossil to Blathers.
The second, and much bigger thing by far, was that my daughter started playing. She named our island ("Turtlerock") and moved in on day one. We'd talk about villagers—which ones were our favorites, which ones we wouldn't mind seeing move away—and collaborated on the city-planning of our island. I played first, and was therefor the "primary resident" or whatever it's called, but I never made a big decision without checking in with her first. We're both invested in it, and it's been a fun experience to share together over the course of the year. Hell, we even counted down the last seconds of 2020 together in local co-op.
Sure, my house is paid off, I have two million bells in the bank, and my museum is roughly 95% filled out—but I still play this pretty much every day. It's become a ritual. Usually right after work, which happens to be the best light on the island; sometimes later at night, especially during a meteor shower; and on the weekends frequently in the morning—but no matter when I'm playing, the remarkable thing to me is that here we are, nine months later—still in quarantine, and still playing Animal Crossing.
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moonshroooms · 7 years
Text
Guess what I feel like oversharing? It’s Smash Bros stuff
So first of all, the first smash game I ever played was Brawl. Fite me. I didn’t have friends when melee and previous were out. Also I’d never heard of them then. And that’s pretty much it.
 When I first played Brawl and had no idea who most anyone was, aside from like. Pikachu, Mario, Link and whatnot, I played as Pikachu, Ice Climbers, and Pit. Literally most of my ‘mains’ (back before I knew what that was), were people I’d never heard of.
 Brawl Pikachu was, surprisingly, not my annoying character. Pikachu was who I considered my powerhouse. I could Thunder people at the top of the stage like no tomorrow and man it was satisfying. Down smash was my panic button and always kept people off me. Also, I could never get quick attack right. Ever.
Ice Climbers were who I used to be annoying. And when we played Brawl my friend and I weren’t quite srs about anything so we always played with items. And the power you feel. When Nana and Popo both have the fans. And your just endlessly smacking your opponent across the stage. A+ 10/10 would recommend. Though it was still before any of us were any good at the game, I did hear about wobbling back in Brawl, and sadly would never be able to even try it, as I had not the controllers needed to use it. And with Smash 4 I never will! #ripiceclimbers #ialwayslovedyou #neverforgetti
Brawl Pit was. Okay honestly, I mostly played Pit for the Subspace Emissary (which I miss and like everyone else wanted in Smash 4). I’m guessing I got attached to him just because he’s one of the first characters I played following the story line. I didn’t play him much against friend. And after Brawl I’ve never picked him up again. I’m not entirely sure why.
Brawl Toon Link. I only didn’t mention him as a main because I only started playing him a little bit before I got Smash 4. I don’t even remember using his items all that much. Know what I miss? Killing people off the top with Up Special. Why’d they get rid of that. It’s Toon Link. Who he gonna intimidate you can’t weaken my man like that.
 Whoop whoop, now we go to Smash 4, which is bright and colorful and I love it. Also it was around this time me and my friends had a newcomer who was... A bajillion times better at the game than we were. And my title as Smash Queen was threatened. And our new friend was now Usurper Smash King. And me and my partner in crime were like. ‘Yo this can’t stand’. We had a pact. I was Smash Queen and he was Smash Prince. We were unstoppable in teams. But no longer. And so we made the transition. That Smash transition of being Filthy Casuals, to Being filthy Serious Casuals.
And that’s as far as it’s gonna go. Cause let’s be honest, I’m not flippin Nairo. And my God the time and effort you have to put in to memorizing everything about your character and learning the match-up and blah blah super inner workings. I’m only a little bit ‘bout that life. I only care about beating my friends into the dirt, not top-level strangers. So I watch competitive videos and tutorials sometimes, when I’m feeling competitive I practice Advanced Techniques™. I got Perfect Pivoting, though I haven’t really been able to apply it to anything but grabbing (and attempted side smashes, but I usually end up tilting instead >3<). Pikachu’s Up-B ledge canceling is more reliable for me than before, but I still mess up sometimes and have only been able to use it just to get back to the ground without lag. I also can’t do that crazy up-b-up-b-up-b-up-b-up-b-up-b nonsense others can do. Much respect for those psychos. Flippin dweebs. And for Toon Link I pretty much have A-Cancel Tossing (that’s what it’s called, right? I can’t remember), and that’s pretty much it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
After me and my friend became Casually Serious and learned more about the game, not only did we come to realize that we had no idea what we were doing when we played Brawl, but we also realized our Smash Usurper had no idea what he was doing either! :D And Oooo the day that we beat him. The day we finally beat him. Both 1v1 and when we joined teams, was the greatest day of our lives. 
Fricken nerds. XD
But we got our titles back! And still we happily sit at the top as Smash Queen and Smash Prince. I like being a bit more serious about the game honestly. It’s fun because it’s less of just random chance and more about skill, and we have fun playing matches with items on and off. And with us evolving, the rest of our friends start to evolve too, and we get beat more often than we did playing Brawl and that’s A+. I like the competition, I hadn’t realized I could be competitive before Smash. It’s pretty fun. :3
 Anyways, onto my Smash 4 mains! :D
 I actually consider myself having 2 groups of mains. The People I Actually Main, and the People I Enjoy Playing and Kinda Know How They Work But Not Really.
 First up, the Characters I Actually Main
 Pikachu: I liked Pikachu before I was srs about the game and I like him just as much after. He’s quick, annoying, has ranged attacks, and is adorably evil. Have you seen his soulless possessed eyes when he gets the smash ball? Pure terror. I do miss killing off the top with Thunder. I feel like (99.9% sure they did, but don’t care enough to look up what the changes were), they changed the way that hits, as when I went from Brawl to 4 I was absolutely terrible hitting with the cloud. No longer could I tell people ‘yo don’t let me get under u you’ll regret it’ *thunder* ‘wat did I tell u I told u not to do it’. I’m still slightly terrifying with the Thunder, but my hit rate went from a solid 70% to like. 25%. Yes I absolutely calculated that I’m a mathematician. But in exchange I actually hit people with the Thunder from the bottom, when I get all explodey and have .3 seconds of super armor >:D I’m much more accurate with that and it is very much satisfying getting a kill with it. My favorite outfit is his Goggles, and then the Wizard Hat. A++
Toon Link: Toon Link, honestly, is bae. I used to like Pikachu better, but since I’ve learned more about Toon Link I like playing as him so much more. I don’t care much that he’s not high tier it’s just fun playing as him, which thankfully is the basis with everyone I play. Walling people out gives me life. And I’m good at reading my friends enough that it gets menacing, especially when I pull out a bomb. For whatever reason when I start usually I just use boomerang and arrows, and never start pulling bombs until I get into a bad situation. I’ve gotten better and sometimes I pull a bomb first thing (though throwing it first thing is another matter entirely). My favorite thing about Toon Link is that if someone actually manages to catch a bomb, it’s usually by accident, and they don’t use them as much as me so they throw it away. And if they do hit me with it, they squander it and can’t get a hit in afterwards. I’m not much scared of my bombs since I know where I’ll move when I’m hit with them. I can’t tell you how many times I hit myself with it and saving my butt cause ain’t nobody know what to do when I’m flying the other way. Also, bring back Toon Link’s Up-B kill. It’s not so easy anymore. I miss it. So much. At least forward air gives a satisfying thwack. I choose his outfit basically as whatever I happen to be feeling at the time, most often it’s Blue then Green Link. When I’m being dumb or getting annoyed about people trying to partner with me in a 4v4 (or when we partner up on purpose and I decide I’m going to betray you now but I’m not about to give that away on purpose), I become Dark Link, I Have No Friends.
Shulk: Funny thing is, I’ve never played Xenoblade Chronicles. I’ve watched a let’s play of most of it (anyone else like chuggaaconroy’s videos?), but I want to play it myself eventually so I’m holding off watching the end. I’m not particularly attached the game or characters, and honestly Shulk is way different from anyone else I play. Most everyone I’ve played are light, fast characters with some sort of projectile. Literally everyone else I play has a projectile. But I ended up really liking Shulk and the monado arts. With the different arts he has (particularly speed), it’s easy for me to get in even without a projectile. I love the counter, and how long it lasts, and that second counter you get for ‘predicting’ the attack. My only complaint is that every. Single. One. Of Shulk’s moves is slow like no tomorrow. I wish that when you put on speed it changed the frames in which some of his attacks come out, especially since you’re sacrificing so much for what’s basically just a movement boost. But regardless, I love playing as Shulk, and the monado is enough for me to feel like I don’t need to be right in my opponents face all the time. Also, being at 200% in shield is a scary thing, especially when people get desperate for attacks but oops, call me Raven cause I just got a Vision! I really should learn about Art Canceling (I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called), but eh. Ain’t got no time recently. My favorite outfits of his is either the white Paladin Shulk, the Red and Blue, or the Orange and Pink. Depends on my mood which one I choose.
 And that about does it for Characters That I Actually Main :D Three of them is pretty reasonable, right? Characters I Enjoy Playing and Kinda Know How They Work But Not Really is slightly less reasonable. A whopping four characters. That’s right. One more than my mains. Then again, that makes 7 characters in all. Not really that resonable anymore XD
 To start things off, first and definitely least is Bowser Jr: Bowser Jr. was how I learned having a character that’s not as likely to die at 70% is a beautiful thing. I started playing him when I first got Smash 4, and sorta dropped him along the way. Every once in a while I’ll play as him, but it’s usually when things are just for fun. I’m not so good at getting the hammer from his up-b to hit, but I can clownkart-to-down-air like nobody’s business obvs I am a master at strategical combat. My favorite move and the objectively best move in his arsenal? Down tilt. Pblblblbl. I like the classical Bowser Jr. skin, while my friend likes to play as Wendy.
Next up is Rosalina and Chico. Or Luma: I also played Rosalina back when I first started Smash 4. It was to fill the hole in my heart left behind by the Ice Climbers. It did its job, for a time. But Chico will never be Nana. </3 But Rosalina and Luma are still pretty fun! I got as far as understanding better how they work together, separate, Rosalina by herself and running away screaming. I learned Lunar Landing, which isn’t a very hard technique in and of itself anyways. My friend more often plays as them now, and my best counter to Rosalina is either Shulk or Rosalina XD Thankfully my Rosalina is still better than his so I have that >:D Rosalina, for me, is a character I consider really good at Not Dying. When we play Time battles I have a harder time winning with her, but put me in Stock and I am Queen of the Cosmos. My favorite outfits are her white and black ones. :3
Third is the one, the only, Mewtwoooooo: Mewtwo, oddly enough, I absolutely hated. When we first got the DLC for him I tried him out and agh. The floatiness, his slow attacks, his tendency to die at 70% if you stare at him too hard, down special is impossible to hit, and the fricking smash attacks are like 2 inches away from his face. I hated him. He was awful. And somehow I kept trying to pick him up anyways??? The odd thing is my friend usually likes the floaty characters, but refuses to pick out Mewtwo. Somehow, somewhere, at some point or another, I ended up playing as Mewtwo even though I wasn’t that good. I haven’t even bothered looking for many combos or techniques for him, but he’s fun to play. He’s a glass canon, and the better I get at him the more intimidating he is. I still haven’t been able to hit anyone with confusion. Ever. >_> But his floatiness and that long tail are pretty useful tools once you get the hang of it. And that forward air is killer man. I approve. And I’ve been able to hit with his side smashes a lot more! No luck with down smash yet though. VoV I play Mewtwo quite often, often enough that if I actually bothered learning more about him, I’d probably consider him a main I could switch in an out with Shulk. My favorite skin of his is the Edgelord dark version.
And last, but certainly not least, the character that I literally play just to be annoying is, not Duck Hunt, not Pacman or Pikachu or Bayonetta, but: Charizard! Or specifically my version, Purplezard. The best thing about Charizard is that he encompasses everything I hate. He’s slow. His attacks are slow. He can’t jump high. No projectiles (flamethrower is like. Half a projectile). But for whatever reason despite me being absolute garbage in comparison to playing my other characters, I often win with him. I literally just play as Charizard to be a monster. And he is an absolute Beast. My friend particularly hates if I ever switch to him because he knows full well that I’m not playing seriously, I’m being a big fat troll, I know very little about him as a character, and I win anyways. And if it wasn’t obvious from the name Purplezard, I like his purple skin. A+
 And that about does it for who I like playing in Smash! As a side note and completely unrelated to characters, for anyone who likes playing with items on, I have a tip for you:
Throw shit.
Flame rod? Throw it. Lightsaber? Throw it. Get the fricken Homerun Bat? Throw it. Throw everything. You have no idea how much it throws off people when you get the Homerun Bat and they expect you to go for the gold and you just chuck it at their face instead. And homerun bat does so much damage being thrown too. And by the time they realize it’s not in your hands and they have an opportunity to grab it, you’re probably already running at it and grab the item + hit them with a dash attack first. And who knows if your gonna start using the item like it’s supposed to be? The power is yours.
Also it’s hilarious
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