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bex-la-get · 3 years

Note

I love the new prompt! Can I request 5 and 6 for Ethan and Natalie, thank you!

NONNY! You put together the BEST combo! Yes, I love this, let's go!

Note: This takes place in an AU where Nat and Ethan confessed their love for each other, but Nat decided to leave Edenbrook after her residency.

And fair warning: this is gonna be long.

From this ask list.

5) “...you look like you just saw a ghost.”

6) “I... I can’t believe it’s really you. I thought I’d never see you again.”

Five years. Five long years since Natalie had left Edenbrook.

In those five years, she had thrived. After taking a position in the Internal Medicine Department at LAC + USC Medical Center in Los Angeles, Natalie had revamped the medical industry. From fighting Big Pharma companies-- such as Panacea-- on overcharging for basic life-saving medicines and winning to using her experience of saving Naveen's life to revolutionize patient care and saving countless lives, Natalie had become a household name in the medical community and the world.

Ethan had watched from afar via social media and the occasional television interview she had done. He couldn't be prouder of Nat; she had far surpassed anyone's expectations and was reaching new heights every day. But as proud as he was, he couldn't help but feel a bit sad.

He still loved her. He always would. And while he was thrilled Natalie was succeeding in her career-- and he would never ask her to stop doing what she loved-- he silently hoped one day she would come home. That one day, she would come back to him.

He knew it was unlikely. Still, if there was anything Natalie had taught him, it was to never give up on the person you knew you were meant to be with. And he knew Nat was that person for him. So, until he was proven otherwise, he'd hold out hope for her. Always.

------------------

Ethan was walking the halls of Edenbrook, mentally checking off the to-do list for the Board Meeting he had that afternoon, when he saw a familiar head of bright red hair. He almost brushed it off until he heard that all-to-familiar laugh and his heart nearly stopped.

Natalie.

He turned to find the source and saw Nat talking to Sienna and Jackie, looking every bit the successful doctor she had become. What she was doing here, he didn't know; but he didn't very much care. She was here, she was back. But for how long?

Without realizing it, Ethan's feet carried him towards her. He had to see her in person; had to hear her voice and to see her smile.

As he got closer, Sienna spotted him first and she smiled. "Oh, hi Ethan!"

He smiled at Sienna but was quickly distracted by the blue-green eyes he'd missed so much. The moment Natalie spotted him, she grinned and his heart began to pound in his chest. If it were possible, she was more beautiful now than ever; and yet barely anything had changed. Her hair was longer, her face a little more mature and she held herself with all the confidence in the world. But she was still Natalie. She was still his Rookie.

"Ethan!" Natalie said, making her way towards him.

He outstretched his arms and relished in the hug she gave him, enjoying this brief moment where she was back in his arms. "It's good to see you, Rookie," he said, as she pulled away.

She smiled. "I don't know if I'm much of a rookie anymore."

He returned her smile. "You'll always be Rookie to me." There was such fondness in his words that Nat's eyes shined with admiration for a brief moment. His heart was pounding so hard right now, it was a miracle it hadn't burst out of his chest yet.

"What are you doing here? Just visiting?"

"Actually, I was hoping to meet with you, Chief," she replied. "I'd like to talk to you about something."

He raised his eyebrows, intrigued. "Well, you caught me at a good time. I have some time before my next meeting if right now works for you?"

She nodded and waved goodbye to Sienna and Jackie, promising to meet up with them later, and followed Ethan to his office. He closed the door behind them, ensuring their conversation would be private and turned to face her again, sucking in a breath as he met her eyes.

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I-- I just can't believe it's really you. I thought I'd never see you again."

She smiled sheepishly. "I did do a pretty bad job of staying in touch, didn't I?"

He shook his head. "You've been busy saving the world," he said. "You have no reason to be sorry for that. But, if I may, I've been following your career, Nat. And I'm very proud of the work you've accomplished. You've become quite the doctor."

She blushed. "Thank you; you know I couldn't have done it without your guidance. You taught me everything I know."

"Now that certainly can't be true; you know far more now than I could have ever taught you."

She chuckled. "Well, maybe a little."

He smiled and fought every urge he had to take her into his arms and kiss her senseless. Keep it together, Ethan. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about. Please, take a seat." He sat behind his desk as she sat across from him and pulled out a black folder from her bag.

"Yes, well," she began, "I've enjoyed my time in LA and I'm proud of the work I've accomplished. But Boston will always be home to me-- though don't tell my mom that, she's still hoping I'll move back to Philly." Ethan chuckled and nodded as Nat continued. "I-- I miss home. I miss Edenbrook. I miss y-- my friends. And... I may or may not have seen that the DT has an opening for the lead position and I thought I'd throw my name in the ring. For the job."

She placed the folder on his desk. "Everything you need to know about the work I've done over the last five years is in this folder and I have several character references, including one from the Chief at LAC. I've also included my notes that I'll be referencing for my book that will be coming out early next year and--"

"Nat," Ethan cut her off. "There's no need for all this. The job is yours."

She looked at him wide-eyed. "What? Just like that? Don't you want to field questions? Ask me about how I'd handle certain situations?"

"I don't need to; I told you, I've been following your career. I know of the work you've done and I've seen first hand how good of a doctor you are. I don't need to field questions, Nat. If you want the job, it's yours."

She smiled. "Thank you, Ethan. I can't describe how grateful I am. I know the team means a lot to you; I'll do you proud."

"You already do."

She blushed. "So, what's next?"

"I'll get the paperwork filled out and sent to HR. Assuming everything goes smoothly and HR doesn't drag their feet, we can have you start as early as next week," Ethan said. "Unless you need more time to settle in?"

Nat shook her head. "No, I already have a place lined up. I'm just crashing with Sienna and Bryce for a couple nights while the movers bring everything up."

Ethan nodded. "Alright; well, I'll get the paperwork set up shortly." He extended his hand out to her. "Welcome back to Edenbrook, Dr. Cusack."

"It's good to be back," she said, shaking his hand. They smiled at each other for a long moment, neither wanting to let go of each other's hand. Natalie seemed to be searching Ethan's eyes for something before she spoke again. "Ethan-- er, I'm going to Donahue's this evening with everyone to celebrate my return to Boston. You're welcome to join us, if you'd like."

He smiled and nodded. "I might stop by for a bit."

Her face lit up. "Okay; then I'll see you there." She slowly-- almost reluctantly-- slid her hand out of Ethan's and grabbed her bag. "See you later then, boss."

He walked her to the door, smiling. "It's really good to see you, Nat," he said. "I-- I'm glad you're back."

The look she gave him nearly took his breath away. If he were mistaken-- and he rarely ever was-- he'd say she looked at him the same way he looked at her: madly in love. "Me too," she said. They looked at each other for another long moment before she looked down at her shoes and cleared her throat. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, see you tonight," he said. He watched as she left and took a deep breath in an attempt to slow his pounding heart. She was back. She was home. It was as if all his hopes and dreams from the last five years were finally coming true. But there was one big question that still needed answering: Did she still want him the way he wanted her?

Only one way to find out.

---------------------------

Donahue's was packed. Ethan had forgotten it was Wednesday, which meant half-off drinks for all EB employees. It was something Reggie had implemented a few years ago in order to get more weekday business. It had worked a little too well and Reggie had to hire more people to keep up with the demand; but business was booming as a result so it wasn't like anyone could complain.

He'd found Nat and her friends easily; they had commandeered one of the biggest booths in the place and were currently taking tequila shots, courtesy of Jackie.

"Jacks, we're not in our twenties anymore," Natalie reasoned as she pushed a tequila shot away from her. "I can't do several shots in a row and still be a human being the next morning!"

"That's quitters talk!" Jackie argued but relented when Nat gave her the unwanted tequila shot. "More fun for me!"

Natalie laughed and shook her head in disbelief, when she spotted Ethan. Her smile grew and she excused herself from the table, getting up to greet him. He returned her smile and welcomed the hug she gave him, once again relishing in the feeling of having her in his arms. "I was wondering when you were going to show," she said, as she pulled away.

He chuckled. "Sorry; being Chief means I have a lot of extra paperwork that needs to be taken care of."

She shook her head. "You're here now. Come on, we're due for another round, anyway, so you came at a good time."

"Actually," he grabbed her hand, stopping her from walking away. "Could-- could we talk for a moment? Privately?"

She nodded, curiosity evident on her face, and followed him outside to the patio which was, surprisingly, empty. Not that Ethan minded; having the patio to themselves meant less prying eyes and ears. He sat at one of the tables and smiled to himself when Nat sat next to him.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah; I just... Nat, I realize this might not be very professional of me but I need to know." He turned to face her and took a deep breath. "Before you left, you told me you loved me. Do-- do you still feel that way?"

She rolled her lips together in anticipation to answer and he braced himself for rejection. Instead, she took his hand in hers and said the word he desperately needed to hear. "Yes."

"Really?" He almost couldn't believe what he was hearing.

She nodded. "If I'm being honest, Ethan, part of the reason I moved back to Boston was because I missed you, desperately. I still love you. I always will."

He fought back tears and caressed her cheek with his free hand. "I never stopped loving you, either, Nat. I always hoped you'd come home; come back to me. But I couldn't have asked that of you, especially as your career began to thrive."

She smiled. "I know you wouldn't; it's not in your nature." She scooted closer to him on the bench. "But as happy as I've been in my career, I've always been missing one thing: you." She sighed. "I wouldn't take back the success I've had over the years; I wouldn't give up the career I've built for myself because I'm extremely proud of it. But... I can't help but wonder what could've been if I hadn't left. Where would we be? Maybe running the DT together; maybe we would've gotten married, had a couple kids, maybe got a house in the suburbs. I feel like there's a whole life we could've had if I didn't leave."

"We can't sit here and wonder what could have happened, Nat," he reasoned. "You needed to leave to find your footing, spread your wings, and flourish into the incredible doctor you are today. Don't sell yourself short; the things you've accomplished are nothing to sneeze at." He looked at their joined hands and ran his thumb along her knuckles. "I would never ask you to give up your dreams or put your career on hold for me. It killed me to watch you leave but to see you thrive was more than I could have ever asked for."

"Thank you," she said, quietly. She took a deep breath. "But, since I'm home now, and I plan on staying here... maybe we can pick up where we left off? Try the whole dating thing again? And everyone knows I've made a name for myself on my own so you don't have to worry about anyone saying I slept my way to the DT position."

He chuckled and nodded. "Good point." He squeezed her hand. "I would love to pick up where we left off; if that's what you want?" She nodded and he smiled. "Good; because that's all I want too."

Moving faster than he could process, Natalie cupped his face in her hands and kissed him soundly. He melted into the kiss immediately and kissed her back feverishly, his hands gripping themselves tightly around her hips as he pulled her impossibly closer.

Though it had been years, kissing her was so familiar and natural that it was as if no time had passed between them. Her lips fit perfectly with his, full of unspoken words of love and passion. Five years had passed since he last held her in his arms or kissed her, but in an instant, those five years were gone. The only thing that was left was the two of them, making up for lost time with forever spread out ahead of them.

Tag List below the cut:

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @genevievemd @jamespotterthefirst @paulfwesley @ethansdique @openheartfanfics @perriewinklenerdie @little-flowers-on-heaven @stateofgracious @coffeeheartaddict @liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @mm2305 @gryffindordaughterofathena @actuallybored @writer-ish @queencarb @takeharryandgo @lsvdw-blog @itsjustwinter @imaneditorthankyouverymuch-deac @chaoticchopshopheart @ohchoices @maurine07 @oldminniemcg @parisa-kh @shanzay44 @uberamsey @izzyourresidentlawyer @adiehardfan @custaroonie @mia143 @a-crepusculo @takemyopenheart @toadfrog26 @quixoticdreamer16 @barbean @headoverheelsforramsey @natureblooms24 @choicesaddict5

#bex answers #asked and answered #anonymous asks #random dialogue prompts #ethan ramsey #natalie cusack #ethan x natalie #ethan x mc #open heart mc #bexwritesstuff

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lyraparadigm · 3 years

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Never Have I Ever...One Shots S2 & Beyond

Fanfic on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32770339/chapters/81307000

(More chapters in the link)

Chapter 1: Never Have I Ever...Done Well In School

It felt good to do well in school. Paxton missed feeling accomplished. Ever since he broke his arm and couldn’t swim, he felt like there was a void in his chest..something he couldn’t quite pin point till this very day. Seeing his classmates clap for him at the end of his extra credit presentation felt good - like a few months ago when he was still on the swim team and breaking records. To top it off, Ojichan was there and now he couldn’t stop praising Paxton at dinner with Mom, Dad and Rebecca. Paxton couldn’t help the dopey grin that overtook his face when Ojichan asked what inspired him to step out of his comfort zone. Devi. He wasn’t gonna say that though.

“I just wanted to go above and beyond in school.” He shrugged nonchalantly, his face still split in a grin.

Shaking his head, he chuckled to himself and mumbled under his breath, “I wanted to swim to San Diego.”

“Huh?” Rebecca asked, ever observant and Paxton, try as he might, couldn’t keep that damn grin off his face.

“Well, whatever it was, i’m proud of you Paxton. Thank you for convincing me to tell my story. It was the right thing to do.” Ojichan’s admission meant everything to Paxton and as he walked back to the garage after dinner, to play Call of Duty, it struck him that this wasn’t really what he wanted to be doing.

Without much thought, he grabbed his keys and was on his way to Devi Vishwakumar’s house. The closer her got to her home, the louder he could hear his heart beat. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he felt like he was about to compete at a swim meet, or maybe sit in that Facing History test for the first time again.And then the insecurity set in… what if Devi was still into Ben? But that couldn’t be, right? Ben was with Aneesa and Devi was pretty chill with that. Her crying the other day has nothing to do with Ben. It was to do with her friends and he fixed that…he made her smile… so maybe…He shook himself free of those thoughts as he parked on her street by the fire hydrant so Dr. Vishwakumar wouldn’t be able to see him. He wasn’t gonna make that mistake again. Besides, it was just going to be a quick in and out. He just needed to say thank you to Devi. No need to knock on her door and meet her mom. He was just going to…what, throw rocks at her window? That was cheesy as hell and Paxton didn’t do cheese.

He licked his lips, frowning as he realised it was raining. How had he not realised this before?! Well, he was outside her house now…and the longer he dithered, the more soaked he was getting. Grunting, he started climbing the tree outside Devi’s house. He had never done this before. He usually just knocked on the front door or invited the girl around. Damn Paxton, just get a grip.He was on the roof now and her bedroom light was on and she was…she was sat there in these cute pjs that somehow did a great job at outlining her figure despite completely covering her. Her window was open, so he could just climb in… he blinked sheepishly…maybe he should text her before he did that. That’d be the polite thing to do.

He watched like a total creep as she responded to his ‘what r u doing’ text.‘U want company?’ He had barely finished hitting send before he knocked. She was so goddamn cute - no. He was just here to thank her. Right. He climbed in as she got off her bed and approached him.

“Paxton…”

He breathed out a laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation.

“You’re in my house…” she appeared utterly confused, her brows furrowing adorably.

He laughed, a little shy, a little nervous, “Yeah…I guess so”His palms felt clammy all of a sudden and he could feel every drop of rain seeping into his skin through his shirt. His hair must have been a mess but he was just going to start talking anyway.

“Look I just wanted to say thank you for all your help.” His eyes could help but stray down her form quickly, “It felt so good to finally do something well in school” and he noticed her eyes drift too, though her gaze was far more obvious than his had ever been. And it struck him suddenly. There was never any hiding with Devi. She always just did what she wanted, when she wanted - like that time she propositioned him for sex despite having never spoken to him before, or when she manipulated Mr. Shapiro into giving Paxton a second chance at that Facing history test.So maybe it was time Paxton did what he wanted too.

“So…are you here to study…or….” The anticipation in her voice did things to him. Devi always had a way of looking or talking to him like she couldn’t quite believe he was talking back or looking at her or..well, now he was about to wipe that look off her face.

“No” he shook his head, closing the distance between them, barely giving her a chance to adjust, barely giving himself a chance to change his mind. His hand was in her hair, his gaze flickered down past her nose ring to her lips while he released a slow breath. This was happening. His eyes met hers for a moment before he closed them and leaned forwards, his lips pressing against hers in the softest of kisses that somehow felt different than any other kiss he had given her before.

And then all bets were off; one hand wedged firmly in her hair, the other rose to grasp her waist as his lips moved sensually over hers and before he realised, he was backing her towards her bed. She didn’t seem opposed to any of it, her own hands gripping his forearms to start with, then grazing his arms before settling on his chest.He crawled on top of her bed, his lips never leaving hers for long as they adjusted so they were lying on their sides, kissing each other languidly.

Soft kisses, open mouthed kisses, lingering ones, breathy ones…he could spend hours just learning her mouth and all the little hitches in her breath when he switched up the pace, or pressed his tongue against the seem of her lips. Then her leg forced its way between his and his brain short circuited a little. He didn’t think it was intentional, he didn’t really think she realised that her thigh was now pressed firmly against his… she seemed too absorbed in kissing him, her hands wading through his hair, nails scratching his scalp and making him shiver. ‘I don’t kiss guys often, Paxton!’ He remembered her admission weeks ago… for someone inexperienced, she sure was good at making him breathless. And to think he thought this would just be a quick visit. He was careful to not push. His hands stayed at her waist mostly, his thumb gently rubbing circles on her lower back. Occasionally his lips would drift to her jaw and kiss the spot below her ear. That drew a breathy sigh out of her that sent a heat wave up his spine. His lips returned to kissing hers, not wanting to get carried away, not wanting to push.

“Paxton?” she mumbled as they parted for breath, noses rubbing against each others. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she asked, “this isn’t a dream right? I’ve not just fallen asleep on my math homework? Am I drooling?”

He chuckled, cheeks blushing a little in embarrassment. There was a lot to unpack here - she dreamed of him apparently and God she was adorable.“This is real”, the words were barely out of his mouth before she lunged the already short distance between them and started kissing him once more. They must have been at it for at least an hour, he surmised, based on how uncomfortably tight his jeans were getting. He rolled onto his back to cool off, grinning dopily at the puppy dog frown on her face. She settled on her back too and they both stared at the ceiling, catching their breath.

“Did you talk to your Mom? You know.. after you saw her in the Maybach”Her brows furrowed again and her fists clenched. It always fascinated him how quickly her temper flared. The first time he took notice of her wasn’t when she asked him for sex, it was when she said something about Nazis killing Ben Gross. He had been surprised a nerd like her had the balls to say something like that in class and get sent to the Principal’s office.

“I just feel like she’s moving on so quick - it’s not even been a year since my dad died” Devi huffed and Paxton turned to face her.

He picked up an errant strand of hair and curled it around his finger, “Maybe you should talk to her?”

“I yelled at her already and now I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to talk about this.”

He nodded. He didn’t know what to say. Devi’s life was intense with a lot more drama than he was used to. He called her crazy once, with her ‘psycho’ drama. He cringed a little at that. It did nothing to ease his hurt when he said it then and it wasn’t doing much else but deepen his guilt now. So instead of saying anything at all, he let his fingers drift from her hair to brush against her nose ring and then against her lips.

He felt a flutter in his stomach on seeing her anger melt off her face..like he was the only one that could do that… just like when he made her smile after her face was all puffy from crying about Eleanor. ‘Swim to San Diego’ seemed to be echoing in his mind a lot lately, especially whenever he gazed into her eyes. Her eyes. Had they always been this pretty? He grinned at his own thoughts now and it grew further when she matched his smile. He sighed against her lips, unable to keep away for long. His lips hovered against hers, never quite touching, just teasing…till she let out a grunt of frustration, much to his amusement, and reached forwards to mash their lips together. It was clumsy at first and he let out a groan as her teeth nicked his lips but his laughter died down when she snuck her leg between his again and then a different sort of groan left his mouth.

“Devi,” he breathed, pulling away from her and enjoying seeing that dazed look on her face he was so familiar with. His shirt was fully dry now and he figured it was time to stop pushing his luck. He shuddered to think what Dr. Vishwakumar would do if she caught him in her daughter’s bed.

“I’ve gotta go,” he pressed a quick kiss to Devi’s lips and she squeezed his hand in response. Walking to the window and ducking out, he found he was unable to leave without kissing her goodbye.

“I’ll call you tomorrow” he spoke gently against her lips and yep, there it was, that look on her face that made his stomach feel giddy. She looked at him like he had hung the moon and it was hella endearing.It had him grinning all the way back down to her front lawn and to the short walk to his jeep.Yeah this was definitely not a quick visit.Swim to San Diego indeed.

#devi x paxton #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #daxton #nhie

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airi-p4 · 3 years

Text

Miraculous escape - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

I wasn’t planning to post this yet, but it’s Lukadrien June and today prompt is ‘escape’ and, even if it’s only Lukadrien friendship (bc it’s Lukanette & Adrigami endgame), it fit so well that I couldn’t stop myself from posting this. Chapter 1 and the final chapter have been finished for months, but I don’t know when I’m going to continue with the rest...

This fic is based / inspired by Marilyn Monroe’s ‘Some like it hot’ film.

Thank you @alittleshycat for the header and wanted posters pic! ( I hope you’re doing well... I miss you... 🥺💙 )

Thank you @brickercupmasterx3 for proofreading! 💙

Summary:

Luka helps Adrien escape from his prison-like house and his strict father but Gabriel Agreste is not planning to let them go away easily. They become fugitives and ask Juleka for help, who offers them a very unconventional escape plan: joining a girl band/orchestra to flee the country.

Easier said than done, especially when they find something unexpected in that band: the two most beautiful women they've ever seen.

Warning: includes art

AO3

_________________________

Chapter 1: Fugitives

"My father is going to kill me."

"Your father is going to kill us."

One carrying a guitar on his back, and the other a piano keyboard case on his hand, two musicians were being chased by multiple cars around Paris. Turning corners, going up and downstairs, hiding behind trash containers and cars, the chase seemed far from an end anytime soon. Panting for air, the pair continued running after they turned the corner, just in time not to be seen- a close call. The loud sirens never seemed to stop, coming from all directions.

"I can't believe I finally escaped from home!", the young blond man exclaimed excitedly. "Thanks, Luka. I wouldn't have made it without your help. You're a real friend."

"Don't mention it, Adrien. That's what friends are for, right?", the blue haired man laughed and patted his back. "It would have been perfect if we hadn't broken half of your father's statue collection while escaping your bodyguards, though. Now he's gonna kill us for sure. We can't let them catch us!"

"We need to run away from Paris. And fast! My father is the devil itself! You don't want to know..."

"I don't!"

Jumping down a wall, and turning another corner, the two friends hid in the back of a funeral car and waited until the police sirens got further away. They had been scolded for being disrespectful with the dead, but it was worth it: they were safe- at least for now.

"We need to leave the city and find a place to stay. Knowing your father, he must have all stations, roads and airports under his control." Luka said, stopping Adrien from crossing the street to firstly check their surroundings.

"How are we going to do it? Our car became 'inoperative' during the chase and our friends and family must be monitored!"

Adrien's panic made Luka grab his shoulders to reassure him of their plans.

"No, look. They know you, but they don't know much about me. Not many people know I have a sister who lives here, in Paris."

"You do?"

"Yes. We need to make it to her apartment and then we’ll figure out how to proceed. Are you ready to run again?"

"More than ready. I'm excited!" Adrien grinned back at Luka, feeling an adrenaline rush.

"Let's go!"

__________________

When Juleka opened the door of her apartment, she wasn't expecting to meet her dumbass older brother and Adrien Agreste, the young man who had been on the news non-stop for the last two hours. She raised one eyebrow and Luka knew she was looking for a reason not to shut the door on their faces.

"Juleka! We need your help! We have to get out of the city. Could you lend us your car?"

"What the heck is wrong with you!? It's been two years and that's all you have to say? What kind of trouble are you involved in now? This flower boy has been in the news for hours! They are even offering a reward for whoever finds him! And one for you! A dead or alive one in your case! They're saying you kidnapped him! So you better have a good explanation or I'm kicking you out."

"I do, I do! Listen: remember dad? I know you were little, but do you remember what being trapped is? That's this man's, Adrien's, everyday life for you. I couldn't bear to see my friend like that anymore so I offered to help him escape" Juleka's eyebrow sank deeper towards her nose, meaning Luka knew that wasn't good news. "I had to help him get his freedom! Can you believe he has never had a burger? Or been to a drive through? He can't even drive a car! He literally crashed my car at a streetlight after mistaking the gas and brake pedals! Have some compassion and help us escape Paris. Please?" he finished, pleadingly.

Juleka's eyes moved to analyze Adrien before answering: blond rich guy, well dressed and innocent looking. The way he was trying to figure out her front door and how his green eyes curiously examined his surroundings made him look like a playful cat, and Juleka had no doubt that he was as dumb, or probably dumber, than her older brother. Which meant Jukeka wanted them out, but also that she couldn't refuse to help- otherwise they would surely not make it out alive.

"Fine. What do you need?" She resigned.

"A car or anything that takes us away from Paris! No, better! Out of the country!"

Adrien was still examining Juleka's old and untidy room when she noticed his eyes paused on a paper on the table. She knew that paper: a girl band/orchestra called "Miraculous" was looking to recruit experienced musicians to perform around Italy for three weeks. Suddenly, she knew what to do.

"Join that girl band, the one in the pamphlet", Juleka suggested, pointing at said paper.

"What? A girl band? We're men, Jules! We can't join a girl band!"

"Luka is right!" Adrien quickly agreed.

"No, it can be done. I'm good with makeup and I'm tall enough for my clothes to fit Adrien. We can use some of Mom's clothes for you. ‘Old style’. Oh, and I have some wigs too.” Juleka continued. "Can this blondie play any instrument?"

"Well, yes. He's a pianist," Luka answered.

"Perfect! I'll find a way for you to cover for the pianist and the guitarist of the band: Chloe and Lila. Nobody likes them anyway, and the band members probably don't even remember their faces well, since they joined recently. Nobody will miss them. And it's perfect that you're blond, just like Chloe. I have the perfect wig for you"

Juleka disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a pair of scissors, two wigs and a box of makeup- oh, and wax. The two male friends could feel cold sweat down their backs.

"Wow, you have such a pretty face!" Juleka exclaimed, taking a closer look at Adrien's facial features. "I'll cut your bangs a bit so they don't show under your wig. Luka: do yourself a favor and go shave meanwhile."

"Are you serious about this, Jules?" Luka asked, moving towards the bathroom sink.

"Of course I am", she glared confidently at him. "Do you want to flee the country or not? I'm getting you out, but you need to trust me."

"Is this really necessary…?" Adrien asked in a trembling voice, seeing how Juleka's scissors were close to his eyes as she was cutting his long bangs.

"It definitely is! The band orchestra is leaving midday tomorrow and we have a lot to do!" Juleka ordered. "I can't wait to wax those hairy legs of yours" she murmured. Adrien could only gasp in fear.

When Juleka finished, she was proud of her results. The disguises were perfect: a long blond wig on Adrien, tied as a long braid, his big green eyes standing out with the mascara on his lashes, and he had pink colored cheeks and cherry lips. His face and hair were perfectly complemented by a white dress to his knees and a short jacket over his shoulders, covering his strong forearms. He also used some pads to simulate not very large breasts. The final touch was a pair of elegant high-heels with diamond looking glass studs on them. He looked beautiful, prettier than many women. So pretty the Couffaine siblings blushed a little at the sight.

As for Luka… well, he was tall, big and manly, and with sharp features: definitely not easy to pass him as a woman. But Juleka was almost a professional and she did an incredible job. He had his hair cut short so his blue hair didn't show under the long dark haired wig - good for covering his wide muscular back. He was advised to wear a hat and sunglasses most of the time, but he was also wearing lots of makeup. Using a full palette of skin tones, Juleka managed to hide his strong jawline and make his cheekbones, chin and nose look smaller and rounder. He wore black eyeshadow and mascara, brownish red lipstick and natural blush. He looked like an unfeminine lady but that could pass as genetics, right? People would maybe look away, but they would understand. As for his clothes: he wore a long wide purple dress tied with a belt and some brown pirate-like high boots (the only ones that would fit him because they belonged to himself). The bottom half of his outfit was complemented by a grey knit poncho. His fake breasts were bigger than Adrien's and he wore a wine red scarf to cover his neck- especially his pronounced adam's apple. He looked… pretty good, considering the base product. And that alone was an amazing accomplishment.

"You're perfect. Ready to go. I've packed a pair of party dresses too. You'll need them for your performances" Juleka said, admiring her amazing work. "Oh, and just so you know. I'm also part of the band, so I'm coming too."

Later that night, just before sunrise, Juleka sneaked to Chloe and Lila's apartment to steal their accreditations and sent them fake cards about the train being delayed so they wouldn't appear at the last moment and ruin everything. Juleka smirked victoriously for having at last taken her revenge on the two women she hated the most.

___________________________________________

After nervously passing the first frontier of the train station- the ticket man, Luka and Adrien, who were disguised as women, moved towards the platform, happy for not having been recognized after the first control. Adrien had trouble walking in heels, so Luka lent him his arm to help him keep his balance.

"Remember: your name is Chloe now, and my name is Lila", Luka reminded his friend as they walked towards the train platform.

"I don't like those names", Adrien complained.

"I don't like them either, but it’s better that we don't stand out". Luka sighed.

Grabbing their baggage and instruments, the two men approached the train car written on the ticket. They were stopped before they could get on the train- just next to one of their 'wanted' posters. The two men didn't notice it, but Juleka did and rushed them to get on the train fast.

"Hey, who are you?" Asked a middle aged woman, the one in charge of the band, they assumed. "I've never seen you before. Are you new?"

"I- I'm Adri- My name is Noirette”, Adrien said, receiving equally surprised and annoyed glares from both Luka and Juleka. Before Luka could speak, Adrien continued. “And she's Lucia. We're the new pianist and guitarist of the band".

‘What. the. heck?’ Luka couldn’t believe his friend as he stared at him in annoyance and shock. His high pitched voice acting was hurting Luka's ears too. 'We're dead', he thought.

The middle aged woman showed orchestra at Adrien’s words: she clearly didn’t like last minute changes. Scanning them under her glasses, she questioned them again. "What happened to Miss Chloe Bourgeois and Miss Lila Rossi?"

While the two men were taking too much to come up with an excuse, Juleka, who was sick of their bad acting, stepped into the conversation.

"The talent agency sent them somewhere else. These two are here to fill in for them."

Still unconvinced, she raised her glasses. "Hmmm... you know them, Juleka?"

"They come from the same talent agency as me", Luka’s sister confidently said.

"Hmmm... that should be enough then..." It seemed like she was convinced at last and the two men could finally breathe. “I'm the band's director. You can call me Madam Mendeleiev. And that man over there is Mister Damocles, the manager. You can introduce yourselves later. Go to your seats now.” Before they could take a first step, the middle aged woman stopped them again and called for someone. "Yves! Come here and carry these ladies’ instruments to the train! Be useful for once!"

Luka and Adrien exchanged looks when a young blond man approached them quickly. "Yes, Madam!" He shouted, approaching the disguised men to get their instruments. He stopped in front of them, intensely staring at Luka’s pupils before trying to complete his job.

"Oh. Hello, there. XY at your service! Can I help you, beautiful? Fancy a drink sometime?" He raised his eyebrows twice, shamelessly flirting.

Luka's face went white in disgust. Juleka's chuckle and Adrien's big eyes made him snap out of it.

"Oh, Just carry this, thank you!" Luka answered, annoyed, as he shoved his and Adrien’s instruments and suitcases into XY’s arms, making the blond man lose balance from the pile of weight on his arms. “And take good care of them because they’re… fragile”

"A- As you wish, beauti- Ah!…" He stumbled, losing his balance and almost falling down. “But later that drink-”

"Yves!! Stop the crap and do your job!" Mendeleiev scolded him.

"Yes, Madam!" He straightened his back. "See you around", he winked at Luka before leaving, having trouble walking properly. The guitarist could feel shivers all over his body, while Juleka snorted, having real trouble trying to hold her laugh in.

"C'mon, hurry up!" Juleka pressured them, adding in a whisper "you better not expose yourselves before leaving."

"Thank you for saving us, Juleka." Luka whispered to her ear while getting on the train.

"You better stop acting stupid if you don't want to get caught!" Her response showed her annoyance and the men gulped in response.

The seats were arranged in pairs, so the two fugitives could sit together and relax a bit. They were also grateful for the lack of contact needed with the rest of the band.

The ‘Miraculous band’ was a dancing orchestra. Similar to a big band, but with vocals, a spectacular stage and completely fine for all ages to enjoy. In this case, its main particularity was how it was formed only by women. The band formation included: a rhythmic section (electric bass, electric guitar, drums and electronic piano), a wind section (saxophones, trumpets and trombones) and two singers. Many of the members were usually multi-disciplined in those bands, which meant they could play more than one instrument, just like Luka with the Lyre. Some of the side instruments were the violin, the flute, the maracas or the tambourine. Another particularity of these kinds of bands was the big range of styles in their repertoire: from rock and popular national or international hits to swings, waltz, salsa- anything that could be danced to.

If it weren't for the all girls' rule, Adrien and Luka wouldn't have minded joining them for real. But they had something more important to think about now- running for their lives.

"Is everyone here?", Mendeleiev asked, standing at the train car passage.

"Marinette and Kagami are not here yet, Madam" A dark skinned, red haired lady pointed out.

"Those two again… if they weren't so talented and popular I would have fired them already!"

"There they come!' A small blond short-haired lady screamed, startling Juleka in the process. "Sorry! I didn't want to startle you. My name is Rose" she introduced herself.

"Juleka…" and that's all she could say as she lost herself in that petit woman's eyes.

"What do you play?", the little woman innocently asked. "I play the trombone!"

"The electric bass…" she answered, hiding her blush. ‘Cute, sweet and with lungs of steel?’ Juleka gulped. ‘I’m screwed’.

"Finally!" Madam Mendeleiev said, as the ladies arrived, panting from their run there. "You're late! Go to your seats quickly!"

The two ladies who got in the train, bowed their heads in apology for their tardiness, as they walked to the empty seats of the back of the car. And when their faces looked up for a moment, it was the exact moment Adrien and Luka reached heaven. Their eyes couldn't stop staring at the most beautiful ladies they had ever seen, following them with their eyes and faces as they passed just beside them, moving to sit a few rows to the back. They couldn't take their eyes off them until Juleka called for their attention, warning for their discretion. But it was too late: the boys had lovestruck grins on their faces that didn't plan to go away anytime soon.

The two ladies had black hair and asian features. The short haired one was taller, had brown eyes and wore a beautiful white blazer with a red skirt. She looked elegant and confident, while the other woman looked cute, clumsy and innocent, and was shorter. She had blue eyes and dressed in a pink coat. Her hair was long and tied in two curly twin-tails. Their beauty stood out even more when they were together.

When the train started moving, Madam Mendeleiev gave the girl band some instructions- something Luka and Adrien would ask Juleka what it was about later. Later, Rose suggested an introduction game for the new members after the explanation had ended. The ladies excitedly agreed.

"I start!" said the same blond girl. "My name is Rose Lavillant and I play the trombone! I studied at a conservatoire in Paris for 3 years before joining this band recently. I like pink and unicorns and my favorite food is strawberry shortcake. Nice to meet you!"

After a round of applause, Rose signaled Juleka to continue, and she passively proceeded. "I'm Juleka. Bassist. Nice to meet you"

Next to continue was the red-haired woman from earlier, Alya, flautist and trumpeter; the drummer, Mylene; another trumpeter, Alix; and one of the saxophonists, Sabrina. It was Adrien's turn next.

"Hello!" He started, with his high-pitched voice. "My name is Ad-" he paused for a second at Juleka's deathly glare, gulping once before continuing. "My name is Noirette. I play the piano! I'm from Paris Classical School and I'm very pleased to meet you all!" He squealed, moving his arms along.

Adrien's excitement for freedom and new experiences was contagious to the rest of the ladies who energetically (almost hysterically) responded "Nice to meet you too, Noirette!".

It was Luka's turn next. He gulped, nervous, and with his fake high pitched voice and under Juleka's death stare, he started.

"Hi... My name is Lu- Lucia". 'I'm killing Adrien for giving me that name' he thought. "I play the guitar. Nice to meet you"

With their introductions over, Juleka finally relaxed. The rest of the ladies' introductions followed but, to be honest, neither Luka nor Adrien were listening: they were just patiently waiting to know more about the ladies that captivated their hearts. Their turn finally arrived, and the short haired one started:

"Hello. My name is Kagami. I sing and play the violin. I've been in the band for a few weeks. My favorite color is red and my favorite food is katsudon. Nice to meet you" a silence followed Kagami's introduction, so she called for her partner's attention with her elbow. "Marinette, your turn!"

"Oh-! Sorry… I was distracted… He-ello… My name is Ma- Ma- Marinette! I'm a singer but I can also play side instruments like the tambourine, the maracas or the castanets. I've been in this band for a few weeks and I studied in Paris Music School. My favorite color is pink and my favorite food is macarons. It's nice to meet you-", she ended with a nervous high-pitched voice.

Luka and Adrien exchanged excited lovestruck grins: the ladies' names and voices were just as beautiful as their faces. They were going to enjoy their outing with the band better than they could have expected.

______________________________

When the car got loud from the ladies chit-chat, Luka and Adrien found their moment of peace to share their thoughts.

“Luka, did you see that?” Adrien started, signaling at the end of the car, towards the singers of the band.

“Yes…I saw.” Luka answered, with a lovestruck grin on his face.

“That beautiful face…”, Adrien continued.

“Sweet voice…”, Luka added.

“Asian features…”, their mumbles continued.

“Dazzling eyes…”

“Dark shiny silky hair…”

The two men reacted at their exchanged words and looked at each other, surprised and nervous. Adrien gulped, worried.

“Wait- who are you talking about?”

“Who are YOU talking about?” Luka threw his question back at him, slightly aggressively.

“That girl, Kagami, of course!” Adrien exclaimed as if it was the most obvious response.

“Oh, that's good. I was talking about Marinette.” Luka sighed and showed him a relieved smile.

“Oh...” Adrien blinked, sighing and smiling in relief too. “I'm glad we weren't talking about the same girl. I wouldn't have liked to steal a girl from you.”

“What makes you think I wouldn't win her over you?”, Luka confidently grinned.

“Oh- anyway- It's better this way.”

The two men laughed together, trying not to be too loud for their manly voices to destroy their cover-ups.

“Will you help me with Kagami?” Adrien asked his friend.

“Only if you help me with Marinette.” said Luka, offering him a handshake he excitedly returned.

“Count on it, my friend!”

#my fic #fic: miraculous escape #lukanette fic #adrigami fic #my art #airipyon #airip4 #lukadrien friendship #endgame lukanette #sorry for the ugly art #It's OLD and I cringe #but you get the overall idea I guess?#silly comedy #This idea was from last year OMG #Idk when I'm going to continue it but I hope I will...#I'm super slow to finish my WIPs...

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our-wargame · 3 years

Text

when you say nothing at all

Summary: Dazai isn't called a genius for nothing. No one can self-sabotage better than he can.

Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Minor Characters, Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou Stray Dogs) Rating: M (to be safe. In reality it’s T except for the swearing and references to sexual stuff but there’s no actual sexual content) Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Additional Tags: Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Developing Relationship, Trust Issues, Slice of Life, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, Self-Worth Issues, References of Sexual Content, As in 0 sex happening, although not for lack of trying on Dazai's part, That's Also His Biggest Mistake, I HATE THAT TAG BUT THAT IS THE FIC, Dazai's pretty trash but his greatest accomplishment, was getting Odasaku to love him Word Count: 2500 Notes:

co-written with SwordintheThrone (they have some ridiculously good shit, check em out.).

can be read on ao3

reblogs are appreciated ty

---

It's a shame that he has commitment issues, Dazai muses to himself. Because Odasaku isn't just the best fuck of his life, Odasaku is good to him.

Too good to him.

That's most of the problem. Odasaku will look at him, expression so gentle, so brilliantly sweet and patient and trusting, as if he doesn't think Dazai will rip him apart at the first sign he sees that as necessary. (Still, sometimes Dazai can stand it. Sometimes he even gives into it and the peace that comes with it hurts like a hell he could learn to adore.)

Is this self-sabotage? He doesn't know. And he's still fucking trash for pushing the issue away and ignoring it as he sends Odasaku a text to ask him if he's still not busy tonight.

Odasaku replies within the hour. I'm not, he confirms. Can I come over?

Dazai tries not to laugh, self-deprecatingly amused rather than annoyed at Odasaku's attempt to save him face. He's not that proud, he really isn't.

He imagines if Odasaku were here, he'd tell Dazai that it has nothing to do with that. That Odasaku really does just want to spend time with him, and that's why during their last encounter, Odasaku casually, lightly mentioned the fact that he was free for the next week. Should they want to do anything.

It is self-sabotage, Dazai comes to decide. Because no matter what Odasaku's intents were, Odasaku is going to end up in Dazai's bed, because Dazai desires it. And then Dazai won't be able to fool himself into either deciding the reason for this outcome is because Odasaku thinks Dazai knows himself well enough to make the right decision, or that Odasaku wants to give Dazai the choice to make bad ones.

Both options are better than thinking Odasaku just wants to fuck him. If he minded, which he doesn't, it'd be his own fault too. Everyone knows that you start texts with can we talk and not are you busy unless you want to bang.

Dazai closes his eyes, already tired of himself, even without having to pretend around Odasaku. He thinks about calling it off but that's rude and it'd make him look weak and it's all a lot more troublesome than going through with what he has so far. It's freezing but somehow, the heater is the one thing he doesn't have the energy to bother with as heg gets off his ass to fix up the apartment. He turns the TV on, keeps the volume nice and low on that channel that only replays old movies. Neither of them are wine people but that's what you're supposed to have for these kinds of occasions, aren't you? So he leaves a half empty bottle of sake on the coffee table. Lounges on the couch as he sips from his glass.

How classy is he.

A knock at the door. Odasaku knows it's already open and only does it to alert Dazai. But he still waits outside until Dazai calls, "Come in." It's so unnecessarily considerate of him, Dazai shivers. And hates Odasaku a little bit, even as he thinks about pushing Odasaku against the door and kissing the gentleman right out of him.

"Hey," Odasaku says as he closes the door behind him gently. He smells like takeout. Looks as rugged and handsome as ever. Dazai wants him so badly.

He moves his eyes to the TV as he puts down his glass so he can refill it. His hands are shaking, fuck. "Day go okay?"

"Yeah." Dazai listens for the sound of fabric shifting, Odasaku hanging his coat up on the hat rack. Soft steps signal Odasaku having taken off his shoes and switched them for slippers, walking light out of habit so they don't clack against the tiled floor. "And yours?"

Dazai's half-distracted with trying to remember the last time they had sex for fun instead of thinking he needed Oda's body to make his own shut up. "It went okay," he replies to Odasaku, and it's a miracle he doesn't add, 'it's about to get better, I think.'

That would just be tacky.

He shifts on the couch, still a little chilly, but trying to signal Odasaku should come closer.

"I brought you curry. And soup in case it's too spicy. Can I put it in the microwave?"

Dazai blinks. His mouth starts curving up. "Odasaku, has anyone told you you're too polite."

"You probably haven't eaten." Odasaku easily ignores his teasing jab, placing the takeout on the kitchen counter but not quite walking behind it. "It's crab soup."

He hasn't eaten and yeah, he's a little hungry, and of course Odasaku knows all of this and brought him his favorite. But he doesn't like to eat before sex. It just makes him feel bloated and a little repulsed by himself.

Crab doesn't go with sake, he could try, only it does. He could try 'not in the mood for curry or crab', only Odasaku will probably ask him if it's okay to take a look at his fridge and make him something.

"I'm not hungry." He sips at his glass again. Isn't alcohol supposed to make you feel warmer? "Can I have a kiss?" He wants Oda's tongue burning up his mouth, wants Oda pinning him down and chasing the darkness out of him. It's a stupid thought. He humors it and waits for a reaction from underneath his lashes.

Odasaku's surprise is practically audible in the silence. Dazai starts to move over so the length of his gangly body stretches across the couch, then puts his elbows on the armrest and props his head up to watch Odasaku. Please?

Odasaku closes in slowly, but Dazai finds himself holding his breath, nervous anyways. He can feel his heart in his throat, feels it pulse when Odasaku bends down, warm hand sliding up Dazai's face, cupping his chin. Dazai tilts it up as his eyes fall closed.

And then his breath catches, when Odasaku kisses his forehead instead.

He blinks and Odasaku's already straightening. Retreating to give Dazai space.

"Odasaku...." That's not what he wanted, but-

Odasaku prods his elbow and Dazai takes the cue, pulling his limbs back and sitting up straight. Odasaku takes a seat besides him, their shoulders a couple of inches from touching. Looks at the TV as he says, "Can I hold you for a bit?"

He has to think about this one. Says, "okay," even as he thinks about how he doesn't really want to be touched, at least not if it isn't Odasaku pushing Dazai onto his back.

Odasaku shifts his weight forwards so he's sitting on the edge of the couch and able to comfortably reach for the coffee table. He pushes Dazai's glass inwards- farther from Dazai- and then picks up the remote. When he readjusts his sitting position again, he's still sitting a few meaningful inches away from Dazai. And now he's left his arm stretching over the top of the couch.

It's such a date move, except it's them. Odasaku is doing this for Dazai.

He hates Odasaku a little more in the moment. He hates feeling inconvenient, because it's a reminder he cares about what Odasaku thinks. The desperation of his attachment- he's so fucking weak, it's pathetic. God, he disgusts himself.

"Are you getting enough sleep?" Odasaku asks. Dazai is still leaning away from his arm, but he's not breathing as hard and so he supposes, this is good.

"No." He hasn't. Before they started their arrangement, Dazai would have answered that with a smirk, an 'is Odasaku coming on to me or am I still daydreaming?'

The stunt actors throwing themselves across the TV screen are alright. If this were also back then, Dazai would poke Odasaku, tease and bet that he could do it better. Oda would consider it in his seriousness and Ango would scold them both into the next year. Everything's different now and he's not sure if he likes it or loathes it, even though having to ask himself which one it is, is pretty determining.

Five minutes is how long it takes for him to finally calm down, enough to shift and holds himself against Odasaku's side. Odasaku radiates warmth. The rise and fall of his chest is steady. Dazai tries to ignore it. His neck prickles.

Some more minutes trickle by before Odasaku murmurs, "Can I take you to bed?"

"No," Dazai blurts out immediately, because he understands what Oda is saying, but the answer is no because it'd stress him out, be even worse than the little fiasco going on right now. He'd have to try and force himself to sleep around someone who should be a source of comfort and failing that would just be gloriously useless of him-

"Okay." Odasaku says, gentle. "No worries." A pause. "Would it help to invite Ango over?"

Dazai breathes. It would. He can put on a front if it's for people, if it's for friends. It's harder to put on a show if it's for individual people; he has to make sure their gears mesh together but they're so damn complicated. Odasaku more so, than most.

"We should drag him out of the house a little more."

Dazai opens his mouth. It's not you, he wants to say, urgent, needy for someone else to know what he does. Odasaku, you're not the one making me uncomfortable, it's me.

"Maybe you can teach us how to make hot pot?"

Dazai wants to yell. Fall apart out loud for a change. They're monsters, not shadow puppets on the wall, and they don't go away when the sun comes up or what their parents say it's bedtime, for real this time. Oda's trying too hard, and it aggravates him.

Odasaku can't wrap his arms around him and make him okay. That's never going to be him. He's afraid that Odasaku still doesn't know that, and he doesn't know what Odasaku will do when he really, really understands this. Even if Odasaku doesn't leave, Dazai can't stand the thought of Odasaku suddenly thinking less of him. It'll be just like losing him.

"Dazai?"

He shakes himself out of it. "Yeah. Call him." He pauses. "Can I have the crab soup after all?" He's still not completely ready to hug it out with the idea of eating, but it'll give him something to do.

Oda rises. Dazai stares at the grace, the strength in the lovely curve of his back. He feels cold all over again.

Oda glances over and holds his hand out. Dazai stares at it for a second before he lets Oda lead them away, carrying the two empty glasses with him in his free hand. Dazai pulls away to work on transferring the takeout into bowls to send them off to the microwave while Oda runs the glasses under tap water, swishing the residue round and round before drinking it down and then washing them clean.

The smell of reheated curry overpowers the room. Oda watches Dazai drop into a chair and then watches Dazai plop spoonfuls of curry rice into his soup, stirring this way and that.

"Did you know," Odasaku says, and Dazai looks up at him. "You have happy-cat face."

Dazai sputters. "I'm sorry, I have what?"

"Happy-cat face."

"Odasaku," He purses his lips, but he can't stop his shoulders from shaking. "Odasaku, that's not a thing."

Odasaku keeps his gaze, the slightest rise of his eyebrow explaining yes it is because you have it.

"You're so silly. Did you know that?"

Odasaku hums. When he dials Ango, he places his phone on the dinner table. Dazai's eyes gleam as he shouts like he's from the next city over.

"Oh my god," Ango's voice is very grumbly. "Odasaku-san, please remove me, I think he broke my ear."

Oda turns off loudspeaker and brings the phone against his ear. "So when are you coming over?"

"Ugh, give a man twenty-minutes. I still have work to do."

Dazai throws himself into Oda's side, squashing his face against Oda's other cheek as he chirps, "Tell him all work and no play makes Ango grouchy. And that he has old-man energy."

"Tell Dazai-kun, I think his Brat Card should have an expiration date."

"Tell Ango, there isn't an expiration date on fun~"

"Tell Dazai-kun-"

Oda disentangles himself from his executive, passing him the phone and letting them go at it. Dazai sits back down, adjusting himself so he can bring his knees up to his chest and leave his feet on the chair seat. Even as he chatters away, he keeps his eyes on Oda, who moves to wash out the takeout containers. He reuses everything because he's an environmental dork. Dazai would be more of one if he wasn't interested in dying before the planet. Still, watching Oda so patient, quietly determined to withstand the overpowering...it makes Dazai soften.

"Hey, is Odasaku-san still there?"

"Nope." Dazai says, popping the p. "Odasaku is busy. Being perfect."

"Yeah, yeah. Why don't you two just get married already? Make it official and everything."

He doesn't recover as quickly as he'd have liked. "Ango, weddings are not good places to pick-up women. They're all crazy. And non-sober. And crazy. We'll find you your little lady elsewhere, don't you worry." He watches Odasaku shake off the excess water into the sink, wiping the counter dry and putting the containers to the side. Then he dries his hands, he drifts over to the living room and picks up the remote.

"Ha. Not that I wouldn't reject your delightful request to be your best-man, but are two groomsmen allowed to be each other's best man? I think so."

"Has anyone ever tell you not to drink on the job, Ango?"

"Speaking of which, you'll have alcohol waiting for me, right? I had to train a new accountant today. If it was there, you would have fainted from the painfulness."

"Delightful. So. How much longer?" He'd really like for there to be someone other than Odasaku around him.

"That depends. I don't want to walk in on you two fucking."

Dazai sighs into the receiver. "It's not my fault. Odasaku has a really nice dick."

He can practically hear Ango roll his eyes. "Don't expect me anytime soon then."

"So. Fifteen minutes?"

"Yeah, alright. See you dumbasses then."

There's no immediate beep! Ango is waiting, letting him end the call. Dazai shakes his head. His friends are really something.

Odasaku keeps flicking through the TV channels, only looking up when Dazai leans over the couch from behind, gently resting his chin on the top of Odasaku's head.

"Hi."

"Odasaku's hair is really soft."

"Thank you."

"Odasaku smells very nice. Like mango-watermelon. And curry."

"Thank you." Oda sits very still so he can hand Dazai the remote without jolting him. "What do you want to watch?"

Dazai breathes. In, out. "Anything is fine."

#odazai #my writing

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morkofday · 3 years

Text

get to know me

am going to mix these two different tag games into one post so thank you a lot for tagging me @jazthespazz and @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

it’s somehow funny to do these same games again after a while so let’s see what I come up with:

Part I

name: real name petra but i prefer vish/vishie over here ^^

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries ♈

height: 178cm (which am coming more and more proud of while i realize how damn tall every cdrama actor is lol)

time: 10:37pm as am answering this one

birthday: 10th april!

nationality: finnish

fave bands/groups: ah well this is always a hard question but let’s go with these: BTS, DAY6, OneRepublic, Hurts, Oneus, Hoppipolla, TXT, Red, Mamamoo

fave solo artists: (forgive me if i’ve assumed any of these wrong) Novo Amor, Talos, Crywolf, Liu Yuning, SYML, EDEN, PVRIS, Joker Xue, NF, Halsey, Sleeping At Last, Nuz, HyunA, Sam Smith, Taemin

song stuck in your head: it’s OneRepublic’s Rescue Me bc of the song tag game i did earlier today :’D that one always gets stuck in my head whenever i as much as see the title lol

last movie you watched: i think it’s The Yin-Yang Master (2021)? I haven’t watched any movies after that bc am so busy with all of my dramas haha

last show you binged: i think binged would be The Journey Across the Night! I watched that as a whole in 4 days

when you created your blog: in 2013

the last thing you googled: ummm i think it was “what is a ball of wool called” bc of fic purposes haha as a non native speaker i always get a bit lost with words like this

other blogs: none, i just dump everything here like the idiot i am

why i chose my url: dates back to my intense summer of binge reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Vishous was my favorite of the brothers haha. i first used this username in some random game on my nintendo ds lol

how many people are you following: 358 which somehow feels like a lot but also like way too few?? i should probably search for some new blogs with other topics than cql, bts and/or dmbj bc i do love a lot of things at once

how many followers do you have: over 800

average hours of sleep: i’d say around 7h

lucky numbers: i remember answering 5 previously? i don’t really have a lucky number but 5 pops into my head

instruments: nope, no. not touching those tyvm. i admire everyone who can play any instrument tho

what i’m currently wearing: black jeans, socks with foxes on them (plus my woolly socks), a gray cardigan (my fave thing ever!) and an orange/brown top

dream job: writer would be ideal but that is very faaaaar into the dream zone

dream trip: around different parts of asia to taste all the amazing food ;; maybe a road trip of sorts through europe? or inter railing? another trip to london bc i miss that ;; a trip to the very northern part of lapland to see all the auroras etc! i’ve never been that far north :’D

fave food: if i need to quickly name something then sushi. otherwise am pretty fine with anything spicy

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i remember thinking about this a lot the last time i answered this but hmm. currently i’d say dmbj still bc that world is fascinating AND i would love to talk to the characters. mass effect would be the second one currently bc i miss those games and the space stuff is super cool! and the third one would be assassin’s creed rogue bc that is my fave ac game and i like the northern sea and the places in it AND i could probably be one of abstergo’s employees instead and just test/play those simulation games haha

Part II

Last Song: am currently listening to my playlist with just everything so i have Andrew Belle’s The Enemy playing right now (also I only just now realized that Andrew Belle also sings Pieces which is one of my fave songs? my bff linked that to me after it played in some tv series she was watching)

Last Movie Last Stream: i didn’t want to mention the same movie again or skip this question and i’ve wanted to talk about this anyway so! i watched Liu Chang’s bday live last night :’D it was so much fun even if i couldn’t understand anything. it was just nice to watch him being himself and have fun and chill with his fans. also the songs were amazing ;; i cried with Liu Sang’s character song as well as the ending. and all the while i couldn’t turn my gaze away from his eyes! he has such pretty eyes and they were absolutely Sparkling throughout the whole stream, it was so nice :’)

Currently Reading: Devotions by Mary Oliver (i adore her poems! they’re a very nice change after Siken haha) and then some uni stuff for a course about culture and mental health plus my thesis

Currently Watching: Douluo Continent, Word of Honor, The Long Ballad

all of these are amazing and make me feel different things! i started Douluo Continent just a while ago and am now on ep 16 i think? it’s been very pretty and very chill and i watch it during the weekend while i wait for new episodes to the other two :’D it’s nice to see Xiao Zhan again and i’ve enjoyed the rpg game type of feeling in it? the group of seven is doing amazing and it’s interesting to watch them craft their team work! Word of Honor again has reached the ending and i just hold my breath with it. am not too far gone with it so i am not getting as heavy feelings about it as i probably could but i enjoy it alot still and i do cry at times ^^ and then The Long Ballad has just blown me away! i didn’t expect to love it this much and be this invested in it but everything about it has been such a positive surprise and it keeps making me super emotional! i love the characters and the story and the romances even! it’s a great accomplishment for me. also yes i cry on the daily bc of hao du and bc of ashile sun’s hair haha

(i am also rewatching Ultimate Note kind of and been thinking about getting into rewatching Reboot bc it has been on my list ever since i finished it)

What is antipoetry to you: okay hmm i had to google this too and have to agree with Kiddo here. i don’t have strong feelings about poetry tbh, i wasn’t into poetry that much before maybe a bit over year ago? Siken has really blown me away haha. but i have always loved song lyrics which i never thought as poetry but then Kiddo said to me that they consider them poetry and yeah ok. i agree? so idk poetry can be whatever i suppose. i’ve never seen any rules in it anyway. i know there are many rules for different types of poetry but then again. i feel like poetry has always been just words put together to feel things and i guess that is the core purpose of every written type of art in the end right?

Currently craving: a drama as good and as personal as The Journey Across the Night. that show really just stole my heart and i want that feeling back. i think about that show every day. i miss Li Jia and his two partners. i miss the vibes. i miss sitting on my floor watching it and just sobbing my heart out haha. also! craving a properly subbed, whole version of Anti-Fraud League. only the first 12 eps are badly subbed out there. wetv has... blocked? deleted? the whole show??? i need it to my life, i wanna see Xiao Yuliang being cute as Mi Ruo and i wanna know where the story goes smh

thank you so much for these both! i had fun ^^ also am sorry this is so long but haha if you’re asking me to talk about myself and my interests then this is what you get :)

tagging (to do which ever part you want or both!): @cross-d-a @jockvillagersonly @humanlighthouse @kholran @xcziel @minmoyu and @leonzhng ♥

#tag game #this was so much fun ok #also yes am an emotional mess #especially when it comes to liu chang/liu sang #and if anyone has any knowledge #about anti-fraud league #then am all ears???#thank you for tagging me!!

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liveandlearn-kg · 3 years

Text

Live and Learn

Prologue - Act 2/3

Read on Archive of Our Own!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31463474/chapters/79061071#workskin

Previous Act: https://liveandlearn-kg.tumblr.com/post/652459405063995392/live-and-learn

Chapter Content Warnings: N/A

CHAPTER BELOW CUT:

Despite our initial impressions, the two of us thought we would eventually find something of note that would explain where we are or why we’re here. However, the more we explored, the more we realized just how vast the land was. Loop-de-loops to run across, log bridges to cross, beautiful waterfalls that painted over a baby blue sky, and platforms that were both grounded and floating in the sky. The grass that was striped with different shades of green seemed to go on and on, seemingly only stopped by checkerboard dirt walls that held the grass on top of it. To say the place was expansive would have been underestimating it, as the land before us seemed to loop forever.

“I wonder when this’ll end?” Tails wonders aloud, as we roamed the landscape. I couldn’t help but agree with his question silently, not having an answer.

The land felt fake, but real at the same time. We hadn’t known where we were, everything was just too unfamiliar.

It was only seconds later we heard a new, feminine voice come out from above us, “You might not wanna step there fox boy.” it says.

However, the warning was too late, as Tails took one step forward, before stopping where he was to look up towards wherever the voice came from. The ground beneath him began to shake, before giving out and crumbling into dust in seemingly one second. The fox cries out in surprise, scrambling for the edge as the dirt seemed to disappear into nothingness. I run over in panic and grab his hand, pulling him up to safe ground. He panted, holding onto my own hand in a vice grip as he caught his breath, only letting go when he seemingly composed himself again.

“Told ya’ so,” the voice comments, causing Tails and I to look up again. There, on a platform above us was a white bat sitting with her legs both crossed and hanging off it. She had a cat-like smirk on her face, before jumping down from her perch in front of us. “Look down there,” she states, pointing to where the pit was.

The two of us look back to where the platform was, and I couldn’t have been more thankful I had stepped in even more. “Oh.” I state, not finding the right words to say. Tails seemed to be in the same boat, shocked at what was once below him. There was a pit filled with sharp, iron spikes that seemed to be able to puncture anything.

“Yeahhh this place is loaded with death traps like that, you might wanna watch your step.” the bat says as though this was a casual thing. She puts a hand on her hip, “Anyways,” she starts, putting emphasis on the n, “Hi strangers, I’m gonna assume you don’t happen to know where we are?” she asks.

As he hid his second tail around the first one, Tails shook his head, “Sorry.”

She shrugs, “Eh, it was worth a shot. So beside that, I’m just gonna assume you’re Ultimates like everyone else.”

That got an eyebrow raise from me, “So there’s more of us here?”

“Yep” she confirmed, popping the p as she glanced at her surroundings, before turning her head back to us. “What’re your guys’ names?”

I started first, pointing towards myself with a proud thumb, “They call me Sonic the Hedgehog! But Blue Blur, and Fastest Thing Alive are common nicknames for myself if you prefer those. I’m what the news refers to as the Ultimate Trackstar.” I brag.

Tails leads off of me, “And I’m the Ultimate Mechanic. My nickname is Tails.”

The bat nods, “Ah, I see who’s the more modest of you two,” she snarks, “After those two tails of yours right?” Tails looks surprised, before giving a sort of dejected look. She adds on, “Yeah you don’t do a good job of hiding them. But relax, they’re pretty neat. Just don’t try hiding them anymore, it looks silly when you do.”

“Oh… Okay…” Tails simply replies, folding his hears while looking embarrassed.

“Now, with that out of the way,” the bat starts, “You can call me Rouge the Bat. Like you two, I’m an Ultimate, the Ultimate Phantom Thief to be precise,” she states casually with a mischievous smirk.

“A PHANTOM THIEF?!” I cry in surprise.

Tails seemed to be taken aback by her response too, “Rouge the Bat?! As in THE person behind the heist of the Illusion Sapphire?!” Illusion Sapphire?

Rouge merely smirks, “The one and only,” she replies with a wink in our direction. I begin to scold myself internally for not being familiar with all these accomplishments or faces, just a consequence of deciding to not familiarize myself with the daily news.

“What’s a thief like yourself doing here?” I ask, trying to push aside the fact that I didn’t know this… accomplishment of hers, raising an eyebrow at her.

Rouge waves me off with a single hand with pursed lips, “Relax kid, it’s not like I steal from anyone. Besides if I had an answer I’d tell you, but like everyone else I can’t tell ya a single thing I know. I was just inspecting my jewel collection and then suddenly I fainted and I woke up here,” she explains, putting a hand on her hip and looking off to the side. “Just like you guys, am I right?”

I slowly nod, “Yes…? How did you know?” I could tell my eyebrow wasn’t going down anytime soon, as her behavior made me question her more and more.

The bat shrugs, “It’s the common trend. You two haven’t met anyone else here besides yourselves, so it makes sense you wouldn’t know. Everyone else has recounted similar experiences. They just have different beginnings, so I’m just assuming its nearly the same for everyone.”

Tails nods, “I see…” he trails off, looking to the side. He appeared to be thinking deeply about something. Both Rouge and I raised an eyebrow, but we didn’t say a thing.

I look towards Rouge, thinking back to her ultimate. “So you really are a great thief, huh?”

She nods, “You’d be surprised at just what kinda security I can weave through to get what I want. Luckily for you, it’s something I could never catch you all with. I’m only after jewels, so you don’t have to worry about anything. Unless you have one…” she explains, giving a mischievous smirk with her eyes sparkling at the mere thought of gems.

I cringe, “Nah, it’s not that I’m worried about being stolen from, it’s just the morality of it.”

She shrugs, “Suit yourself.”

“Anyways, you all should follow me. I’ve been scouting this place for other people before taking them back to this one spot. Everyone else should be there.” Rouge explains, motioning back behind her.

Tails looks in the direction she pointed towards, “So there are more people here besides us?” he asks, making a curious expression.

She nods, “Yeah, including us there’s 18 people in total so far, and given a trend I assume you’re the last of them.”

“What trend?” I ask.

Rouge just jumps in the air, flapping her wings and taking flight, “Follow with me and find out!” she yelled, causing Tails and I to look between us. I just gave him a shrug. She began to fly towards the direction she motioned towards. We took off in a run to follow her closely, being lead to where everyone else was, hopefully.

It took a while, after being suffocated in nothing but an ocean of green and brown. After a while though, we were greeted with a new splash of color, a splash of many colors actually. We met so many different faces of many different shapes.

“I have two more!” Rouge called, waving the group over. Everyone turned towards us, taking a look to see who it was. Rouge flew down and landed next to the group, “If everyone here is an Ultimate in the news then, they should be the last ones.”

“Everyone’s an Ultimate?” I asked, walking up to everyone else.

“Yeah, and if there’s eighteen known Ultimates then we’re probably the only eighteen people here,” explains a pink hedgehog. I nod, making a mental note about the number of ultimates. I admittedly didn’t knowing just how many there were, just that there were a lot. I look over a Tails who was by my side, making a nod that seemed to indicate whatever he was thinking about was confirmed.

Suddenly a little rabbit in an orange dress weaved out of the crowd, pulling a large purple cat in a belt by the hand. They ran up to Tails and me with hope in their eyes, “Um! Excuse me!” she called in a soft voice, “Have you seen a chao with a red bow tie or a frog with a tail?” she asked. “They were with us when we fainted and they never leave our side, but we haven’t seen them here. So we’re really worried…”

Tails frowns and scratches his head, “I’m sorry, but we haven’t seen anything like them since we woke up here. Just Rouge and you guys.”

The rabbit and cat share a dejected look, “Ah… okay…” the rabbit simply stated with a sigh.

“Froggy…” the cat mutters,

The pink hedgehog runs up to the two with a sympathetic look on her face, “Hey it’s okay, if anything it just means they’re probably away from here. When we get out we’ll go looking where you fainted, I’m sure they’re just as worried as you are,” she reassured with a gentle voice. The rabbit and cat merely nod. She then turned to us with a hand outstretched, “Hey, we haven’t introduced ourselves yet. I am Amy Rose, the Ultimate Fortune Teller. I assume you two are Sonic the Hedgehog and Miles Prower, the Ultimate Track Star and Ultimate Mechanic respectively.”

I look at Tails who was wearing a flustered look on his place, “Your name is Miles Prower?”

He began to knead his second tail and look off to the side, “Y-yeah. It’s embarrassing, I know. Miles Per Hour and all that haha... “ he explained, trying to give his best grin despite his obvious embarrassment.

I shake my head, “Yeah I can see why you would prefer a nickname over that,” I simply state, “Would you prefer me to still call you Tails?” I ask. Tails just nods as a sign of affirmation, not saying a word. I then turn to Amy, who had a questioning look on her face, “Anyways, yeah that’s us. But Miles prefers Tails over his actual name.”

Amy nods, giving Tails a thumbs up, “Tails, gotcha. I’m sure everyone else is willing to call you that, I don’t see why people wouldn’t be willing to,” she says. She looks back over at the crowd, who don’t voice any objections. She then turns back to the rabbit and the cat, “Why don’t we all introduce ourselves to them individually, to familiarize ourselves with each other, before we discuss the situation at hand. Let’s start with you two.”

The rabbit nodded with an “Mhm!” She slapped her cheeks with both her hands gently twice, before introducing herself, “Hello Mr. Sonic, Mr. Tails, my name is Cream the Rabbit, I’m the Ultimate Pet Sitter,” she said with a gentle voice, bowing her head. “It’s nice to meet you!”

The cat then continued off of her, “And I am Big the Cat. I am the Ultimate Fisherman.” He looked at us with an almost dead look in his eyes, but that didn’t really bother me. He seemed nice enough for the most part.

After Big was a silver hedgehog with sparkling, excited eyes. He waved excitedly, “Me next! My name is Silver the Hedgehog! They call me the Ultimate Psychic! It’s nice to meet you two.”

Another purple cat in a purple dress with a ponytail then followed up on him, noticeably more aloof than him, “My name is Blaze the Cat. Despite the inaccuracy of the title I’ve been assigned, I am what the public calls the Ultimate Pyrotechnician.”

We looked over towards Rouge, who was now next to a black and red hedgehog who had his arms crossed, and the big robot who seemed to constantly be glaring at us. She noticed the two of us were looking in her direction, as she then elbowed the hedgehog gently, “C’mon Shadow, introduce yourself,” she nudged slightly.

The hedgehog, who I assumed to be named Shadow, grunted. He looked up at the two of us, “The names’ Shadow the Hedgehog, and I am the Ultimate Life Form.” My eyes widened a bit, given how I was within the vicinity of THE Ultimate Life Form. I had only heard about him through word of mouth, and he seemed more like an idea than an actual person. But… here he is! It’s surprising to even here an Ultimate Life Form even exists.

The robot then went after Shadow, stating his name and title.. well, robotically. “I AM E-123 OMEGA, THE ULTIMATE MACHINE, AND THE ULTIMATE E-SERIES ROBOT.” I look over at Tails, who seemed to be a bit nervous at the sight of Omega, but I figured I’d ask him later when we weren’t in the middle of something else. Like now.

A red wolf then waved in our direction shyly with a hand behind his back. He had a large pair of red glasses resting on his muzzle and a utility belt of sorts placed across his chest. “Hi, I’m Gadget the Wolf. You can call me Gadget though. I’m the Ultimate Gunman, but I don’t actually shoot people so don’t worry. I just do sports, think of the shooting events from the Olympics,” he explained almost frantically.

A red armadillo then raised his hand above the crowd, making himself known to us. “We’ll go next!” He announced. He had a friendly and warm smile, obviously attempting to maintain a non-threatening appearance. Close by his side was a yellow flying squirrel wearing a baby blue scarf and a pair of goggles in the same shade. He was noticeably more excitable just by a quick look, wearing a big, unapologetic grin. “The name’s Mighty the Armadillo, and the news calls me the Ultimate Wayfarer. Hope we can be friends!”

The squirrel next to him nodded, “Yeah, what he said!” he continued, before before going off on his own introduction. “Ray the Flying Squirrel, you can call me Ray. I’m the Ultimate Navigator AND Mighty’s partner.”

Tails nodded, giving a slight chuckle, “Well, you do seem to be very close from what the news would say about you two.” The squirrel nodded eagerly, with Mighty giving a light chuckle at his friend.

A green hawk grunted, letting out an “ahem”, making himself known and drawing all eyes onto him. He had a prideful look on his face that was near sly. If I had to say anything from first glance, it was that he probably thought he was the most important thing in the world. “The name’s Jet the Hawk. I’m the Ultimate Racer, a title which I officially won at the World Grand Prix.” He announced with a smug grin as he cracked his knuckles, “And if I had to guess, I’m the only one here with an official title.”

As much as I wanted to challenge that, the rest of us just kinda ignored him, as a strange group of three just moved on from Jet’s bragging. The hawk let out a sound of surprise at the rest of us just kinda said ‘cool.’ A crocodile pointed at himself with pride beaming from him, “I’m Vector the Crocodile, the Ultimate Detective-“

A purple chameleon led off of him, posing by raising two fingers to his face and looking down. “I am Espio the Chameleon, Ultimate Ninja-“

A bee then flew up behind the three, pumping an excited fist up, “AND I’M CHARMY BEE! ULTIMATE ASSISTANT!”

The three then posed in unison, with the three of them quickly lining up uniformly. Vector raised an “ok” sign of sorts with a wink, with Charmy jumping onto his shoulder with a thumbs up, and Espio leaned up onto the crocodile, crossing his arms. “The three of us make up the Chaotix! We leave no case unsolved, so long as you pay the right price,” Vector stated.

I couldn’t help but hold a giggle back. There was an air of chaotic silliness to them, not helped by the wacky personalities emanating from them after just a mere introduction. I could tell I wasn’t the only one who wanted to laugh, given the hawk’s wide eyes and shut beak. Tails nudged me in the shoulder, telling me everything he wanted to say. I immediately attempted to compose myself, and it worked for the most part, but I still couldn’t help but let out a small huff of laughter.

There was one last person among the crowd who I had yet to pin a name too. Tails and I looked over at a red echidna with purple eyes, who had an aloof look to him. He noticed the two of us were looking at him with an expectant look, before nodding. “Knuckles the Echidna, Ultimate Treasure Hunter.” He stated simply, giving everything we really needed to know.

I made a mental note of all names and talents, figuring they’d be useful for later down the line. If not to talk with them, at least for conversation starters to look like I made an active choice to keep up with whatever the public was raving about nowadays. It wasn’t as though I had a dislike for it, far from it, I just wasn’t interested in it for the most part. I just wanted to do my thing, ya know?

Amy nodded, before turning back to us. “Well, that’s all of us. Eighteen Ultimates, eighteen people. Now…” she said, tapping her chin as she lowered her glance into a thinking look, “Do you two have any chance of knowing where we are? Why we’re here?” She asked, looking back with a somewhat hopeful look in her eyes.

Tails shook his head, “Sorry, but no. In fact we were hoping you all would have some form knowledge of something like that.”

Amy gave Tails a regretful look, shaking her head. “Sorry, not even Vector knows a thing.”

Vector nodded, “She’s right. The only clue we have is our identities and what’s on us, but that’s about it. Everyone else gave their own testimonies, but they’re all similar. We all were doing our own thing before being knocked out, suddenly waking up in this weird field.”

“‘What’s on you’…?” Tails repeated with an inquiring voice.

“Those of us who had them on us at the time, such as Amy and Espio, woke up with weapons on them.” Knuckles answered as though it was a matter of a fact, “You wouldn’t happen to have any on you two, would you?” the echidna asked.

The orange fox then waved his hands frantically, “No no not at all!” He answered, before then looking to the side, “That is concerning though… why would we wake up with weapons on us…?” He whispered to himself.

Jet snorted, “You’re telling me. We all black out n’ then wake up in this new place with death traps littered all over, some of us having weapons too! It’s as though this place was made to kill us.” A couple let out noises of agreement, and I couldn’t help but follow them.

I tsked, muttering a ‘damn’. To myself. But then a lightbulb went off in my head, “But this is an open field, right?” I asked.

Mighty confirmed my question, “As far as we know, yeah.”

“Well couldn’t I just run to find the nearest town to figure out where we are? I could probably find info and get us outta here quickly!” I explained. Wow Sonic, why hadn’t you thought about this sooner! I made my mark, raising one leg, ready to take off-

“That’s not gonna work.” A raspy voice interrupted, I look up to who made themself known, seeing it come from a certain black and red hedgehog. “I already tried that, but the place loops.” He stated as a matter of fact.

I shrug, I didn’t believe him for a second. “How could it loop? The place has to end at some point.”

Silver then interjected, “Yeah, it shouldn't be possible. I think Sonic should try it out, it wouldn’t take very long.”

Shadow didn’t argue with that, placing a hand on his hip, “You’re asking the wrong guy, I don’t know how it’s possible, but that’s how it is. You can try running in a straight line if you want, but it’ll give you the same results as it did me.”

I took him up on his offer, “You don’t have to ask me twice!” I started, before taking off with a streak of blue and the wind following close by.

I felt the wind blow through my quills as I ran as fast as I felt, knowing the world around me would be a blur no matter how fast I ran. However, the more I ran, the brown and green would continue. And despite the blurred look around me, I could swear some locations felt as though I had seen them earlier before. All before I was met with a familiar crowd of colors and faces. I pressed my foot roughly on the ground, coming to a screeching halt.

“Holy shit he’s right.” I simply state with wide eyes. “I ran straight, I swear I made no turns, and yet I ended back here.” The crowd gasped.

Shadow just gave me a look that simply just told me, ‘told ya so’, with as much of a gloomy look you could have with that expression.

Cream let out a cry of terror, “D-does this mean we’re trapped?” She asked with a shaky voice. A twinge of fear ran down my spine, as it suddenly hit me what Jet pointed out earlier. What he said couldn’t have been true, absolutely not.

Amy quickly came to the rabbit’s side, getting on her knees, “No, we’ll be out of here eventually,” she comforted, to the best of her abilities anyways.

“Well how would we?” called out Jet with a hint of annoyance paired with panic in his voice, “cuz as far as I’m aware, we’re stuck here with a bunch of death traps and weapons!”

Mighty inched closer to Ray, with a protective look on his face, and Tails’ tails stiffened. Amy furrowed her expression, and was about to disprove him, but the squirrel interjected before the pink hedgehog could say a thing. “But that can't be true! What kind of person would do such a thing?”

Rouge, on the other hand, sides with the green hawk. “Hate to agree with Jet, but he’s right. It’s almost as if the only way to escape from this place is through death.”

“Well there has to be some other way out!” yelled Gadget. “We’re stuck in a looping plane but SOMEONE has to know where we are!”

“But you guys said we are the only Ultimates, so we have to be the only people here!” pointed out Knuckles, who was now wearing a more worked up look on his voice.

“THE ECHIDNA WOULD BE CORRECT. ALL SEVENTEEN ORGANIC LIFE FORMS DETECTED WITHIN THE VICINITY ARE PRESENT.” confirmed Omega.

“Well then why are we here?” asked Espio, “Someone obviously brought us to this place so someone has to know.”

“Well I have a lot to say to the person who brought us here…” announced Knuckles, who was now riled up.

“But-“ Charmy started, before he was interrupted suddenly by a new voice that rang out from seemingly nowhere.

“And we are here to answer that!” it said, causing me to go into a sort of defensive position as I wildly looked for a source by moving only my head. My gloves were clenched and my knees were bent. And I could tell others were alert too, as this voice only added to the widespread fear between us all.

A stage seemed to grow from the ground, manifesting from seemingly nowhere and nothing. It was made of wood, and had a set of beams standing up from the sides, carrying yet another beam on top that carried a red curtain. Our entire group let out gasps of surprise rang out, with cries of “How?” and “How is that possible?” echoing among the crowd.

We weren’t able to revel in our disbelief though, as from the stage a little robot popped out with confetti and streamers surrounding it. Right as it was about to land, the robot began to float, refusing to make contact with the ground. I let out a hiss though, as I got an eyeful of what this robot was.

The thing was a stubby one, that’s for sure. It was painted black and white, one side lighter, the other darker. The way I’m describing it doesn’t seem so bad at first. But what if I told you it had two heads. One side an orb, and one side a cube. The orb was painted all black, and had glowing red eyes, whereas the cube was white, and had cyan eyes that would glow just like the orb’s. Sure it isn’t horrifying, but it’s the least bit creepy.

I could tell others agreed with me too, as Cream let out a yell of surprise and looked away, as Mighty simply noted under his breath, “Well isn’t that creepy.” Tails’ ears seemed to stretch slightly as they stood up high, and even Shadow had wide eyes.

The orb started first, “Welcome to Green Hill Zone!”

“I am Orbot-“

“-and I’m Cubot!”

“And together we make Monobot! We’ll be your host for the game!”

9 notes · View notes

chayacat · 3 years

Text

Devil’s Sweet Star (24)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut

***

Pride. They say pride can be a nasty flaw. But deep down, is that really the case? Pride is pretty positive in itself. You feel pride when you succeed in something, when you spend a stage of your life that everyone and even you thought impossible. The pride of your parents when you do something good is proof of that. When you help people, you feel a certain pride in being able to be useful to society. When you graduate, you're proud of it! When you create a garment, an object, a cake or a dish, you're proud of it! So why is pride a flaw?

Well actually... It happens when you do something bad. Do you know why? Because pride brings bragging. When you're a good person, you don't have to tell everyone about all the feats you accomplish, some of these feats, you keep them to yourself, like a shadow hero. But when you are a "bad" person, someone who spends more time hurting around him than helping others, pride invades you and you feel compelled to brag about it. Of course, you're lying, you're changing reality to make you look like a hero. But everyone quickly understands that you're a crook.

But when you're an assassin like Danny, even if pride invades you, you have to contain yourself. Because if you brag about your murders.... you end up in jail. It makes sense, you still don't think you're being congratulated for a crime anyway... But our national Danny knows how to master himself. He feels proud of his "masterpieces" but is not going to brag to everyone that he is Ghostface, the murderer, the star of Roseville.

But if he could be proud... it's scaring you. More, to have exceeded a new limit with you. How proud would he have been to be the first and last to steal your virginity. To hear your moans, to hear your voice shouting his name, asking him to continue. For after falling asleep in his arms and him, looking at you, breathless, but conquered. But for now, he had to focus on his work. But he was proud, proud to see Wilhelm's head when he came across McKellan's corpse, Danny's ultimate masterpiece. For now.

“Did he go that far? Seriously?” asks Melina with some kind of disgust.

“Just thinking about it, I want to vomit. But unfortunately, yes. You would have seen how much he slaughtered him. Even Wilhelm went out for a few minutes to avoid spitting his guts.” responds Mattew with a grimace on the corner of the face.

“I admit that there... he has outdone himself. I've seen massacres made by Ghostface but this one... it’s a bloody masterpiece.” Said Danny holding a smile. “For once, Wilhelm was... not displeased to see me. On the other hand, he did not appreciate that I snoop everywhere. I have to understand what happened to write my article. And to think that people wanted Hoggins to die... Well, they'll have McKellan's death in the papers.”

“Well, it's Wilhelm... He always wants to be alone at the crime scene. He and the boss have argued several times about this. But the boss has always found a valid reason to shut his mouth.” replied Melina.

Mr. Hembrook arrived at the same time and stopped at the level of our three reporters, coffee in hand. This man always exuded a certain class no matter what outfit he was wearing.

“it's about me here... my ears are whistling.” He said, taking a sip.

“They were telling how you're shitting Wilhelm back. You don't have to miss him every time.” said Mattew.

“Wilhelm is not a bad guy... he wants to do his job seriously and not let a clue escape. But his problem is that he always wants to do everything, all by himself and he doesn't appreciate the company of others, especially journalists. If he agreed to share his information and cooperated with us, it would go faster. Besides, you two, did you find anything on the spot?”

“Well, it looks like Ghostface went through the window... there is no broken glass or door hooking. He could not reach the window through the front of the villa. There are far too many guards... but from the back....” started Mattew.

“From the back, there are only two guards to watch the garden. He could easily have gone through this. According to the guards, McKellan always listens to music in his office for about an hour. Ghostface had to attack him at that time. The music covered McKellan's screams. He left quickly to avoid being caught by the guards.” continues Danny.

“It seems consistent... It seems very consistent even! Traces of a struggle?” replied Hembrook.

“No. McKellan had to be knocked out and tied to the chair where he was found. When you see what he did... he must have enjoyed it.” respond Danny holding another smile. Of course, he takes pleasure of it.

“You've got enough to write a good article, my little Jed. With a murder like that... We're going to have enough to do for months! With the scandal over Hoggins... it's the bouquet.”

“Of course, Sir. I...”

“I wonder... if it's not a setup. Hoggins and McKellan had been in conflict since that scandal. Hoggins accused McKellan of selling the wick on their business. I think that... that it is an assassination. And that he's paying Ghostface to kill McKellan.” said Melina.

Danny froze on the spot. Ghostface play mercenaries? Certainly not! He will never go down to that level. That would be unworthy of him! If he didn't like Melina, she would have been his next victim. But she cannot know what happened and all this is the result of her reflection. With all the elements she has, it’s easy to come to this conclusion.

“Impossible. It's not Ghostface-style to play mercenaries or hitmen for someone. Why would he do it now?” Asks Mattew.

“Mattew is right, it's not in his habits. And I don't think it will ever be. But the idea of a commissioned assassination cannot be ruled out. Hoggins is rich. He could very well have paid someone to kill McKellan. And made it all up to put it on Ghostface's account.” Fit Danny.

“A commissioned assassination? It's a trail to explore. You should go talk to Wilhelm. To see what he thinks about that.” said Hembrook before leaving for his office.

Danny looked at Melina and Mattew before getting up, taking his bag and heading with his two colleagues to his van. The three got into the vehicle and set off for the police station. Definitely he will have met Wilhelm often lately. Too often to his liking. Unfortunately, it has to be. Jed has no problem with him. But Danny couldn't stand him.

“You should take a subscription to the Roseville police station. I am sure that on the tenth visit, you will have the right to a one-on-one dinner with Wilhelm.” said Mattew with a sneaky smile.

“I'll give it to you then... I'm not really attracted to that fat ass.” said Danny before laughing.

Mattew grimaced and Melina chuckled. Danny parked and the three of them got out of the vehicle and entered the police station. As they went to the reception to ask to see Wilhelm, the latter was just talking to a policeman. When he saw the trio, he sighed.

“Oh no, it's not true... I was cursed for you to stick me so much Olsen? We met yesterday and I have to see your snooping face again today?” Wilhelm said.

“I want to say that I have the same curse Wilhelm. But it’s our boss who sends us.” respond Danny with a smile.

“That old Hembrook monkey? And why will he send you to see me except to piss me off with Olsen?”

“Information and a hypothesis that might interest you. If you give us a few minutes of your precious time.”

Wilhelm seemed to think for a few minutes, before sighing and beckoning them to follow him into his office. Once all this beautiful people settled, Danny, of course, in front of Wilhelm, they tell everything they had concluded as well as the hypothesis of the sponsored murder. The latter listened attentively and drank a sip of coffee before speaking.

“You know this is a serious accusation you are making? It's not just anyone, it's one of the most influential men on the market. Also, explain to me why he would have murdered his partner, if indeed it’s proven that he and McKellan were doing what is written in the press articles.” said Wilhelm.

“That's the explanation, Wilhelm. The article is a sufficient evidence and motive to have him murdered. Hoggins accused McKellan of throwing everything away. If McKellan disappears... more by camouflaged as an umpteenth murder of Ghostface ...Hoggins wins all. Moreover, there is no evidence that he would not have sunk McKellan once all the competitors were eliminated.” said Danny.

“That's not wrong Olsen... That's not wrong. But it's a big fish. Even if I think the same as you for once, if I have no proof of his involvement ... I couldn't get him arrested. And if he hired someone and made this happen to a Ghostface murder, the REAL Ghostface might not appreciate being robbed of his work.”

“Maybe we could, I don’t know... consider cooperating for once? by exchanging our information between us we can do the whole thing on this story.” Said Melina.

Wilhelm and Danny looked at each other, grimacing. The prospect of having to work together doesn't please Danny in any of the world. But he has no choice, if he wants to direct suspicions on Hoggins, as he planned in his murder plan, he must cooperate with his worst enemy. But the day he can kill him... Believe me, Danny's going to have fun. The inspector got up, and beckoned them to follow them. They all arrived in a meeting room where there was already a team that was handling the case.

“Guys, this is the team of journalists from the Roseville Gazette. They will work with us, so that with all the information we find each other, we can gather them and solve the murder of Horace McKellan. They have information and a lead that we need to exploit.” said Wilhelm before heading to the dashboard.

The whole group worked together all day, getting up to date on all the information they did have so far. Danny quietly observed everyone. All those idiots looking for clues and evidence. And they are also responsible for his murders? What a bunch of idiots. If they knew that Ghostface was here, in the same room as them... That would be ironic. It's ironic, actually.

At the end of the day, everyone went home. Danny was tired but couldn't help but smile when he saw all these idiots. His plan worked perfectly, they are so manipulable, he will quickly manage to turn them to Hoggins and when he will be suspected of murder... That's where Danny's going to kill him. You will tell me it's silly in this case to have him accused. But don't worry, Danny has it all planned out. Absolutely everything.

He dropped Mattew and Melina in the newspaper parking lot so they could drive home. Then he went home. Previously, he stopped by the Florist next to your café, to buy you a beautiful bouquet of flowers. what? Danny knows how to be nice when he wants to. Sometimes he wants to give presents. Especially for his beautiful angel. He went up to your apartment and knocked on the door. When you open the latter, Danny didn't have time to say anything, that you would jump into his arms, before kissing him.

“I see, you missed me. Here. It's for you.” He said before laughing and giving you the bouquet.

“More than you could imagine. How was your day?” you ask by taking the bouquet.

“We can say that it was... full of twists and turns.” respond Danny before telling the whole day.

“Poor you. I wish you good luck. You must be exhausted.”

“A little. I think for once I'm going to eat and go to bed straight. Although I would have liked to spend time with you...” replied Danny before he saw that you were slightly stressed. He already knows why. “Are you Okay?”

“Oh yeah! Just...a little tired too...Don’t worry.” You respond.

“I'll let you rest then... Sleep well, see you tomorrow.”

Danny kissed you before returning to his apartment, put down his belongings, took off his glasses and made himself food. He thought back to his day, everything was going according to plan. It must continue until it reaches apotheosis. And when it happens... He will still slip through the cracks.

He brushed his teeth, read a little and went to bed after half an hour. He looked at the thoughtful ceiling. Then a smile came to his lips, thinking of Wilhelm. If he knew he was working with Ghostface... he would shoot himself, that's for sure. Just like the entire police station for that matter. Knowing that he had infiltrated the police and that until the completion of his plan, he would work with them...

It made him smile greatly. He fell asleep with this smile and these thoughts.

Having infiltrated the enemy without being unmasked...

That's what made him proud.

***

(I'm officially starting my driving lessons May, 18Th. If I have to describe my mind right now...I’ll say I'm freaking out so hard that my heart will explode or to get out of my chest. Well, I’ve got time before hell begins! XD Oh by the way, from May 5th to May 7th I’ll go see my best friend, so chapter 26, which will be from Danny's point of view will probably come out late or even the week after! This will give the new ones the opportunity to read the chapters that have come out so far! Have a great weekend to you all! See ya!)

#dbd fanfic #dbd #dead by daylight #ghostface #danny johnson #jed olsen

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years

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Chapter 22 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

~|Emily Fox|~

I think I might have hit rock bottom again. It’s been a year since I’ve found myself falling and falling deeper down this dark and empty hole of sadness and remorse. It’s been a pity party of one up in this house since Saturday and it’s now Thursday. Madison came around almost every day. She brought lasagna on Saturday, spent the night and then watched movies with Mitch and me on Sunday. On Monday, she came back after school to give me my homework, but knowing I probably wouldn’t do it, and the same happened on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today, the bell rings at 9 am while I’m still in bed, wrapped up in a blanket burrito. I can hear Madi’s voice, however, and all it does is make me wonder why she’s not in school. “I’m just worried about her, you know?” I hear Madi’s voice as her and Mitch make their way upstairs. “I don’t want her to fall further down to rock bottom the same way she was last year.” My uncle simply hums. “Yeah, I think it’s time for an intervention,” he says seconds before he knocks on my door and enters without my response. “Morning, Muffin.” I glare at him for his chirpiness. “It’s time, honey,” Madison tells me, her nose in my wardrobe. “Time for what? To cry? I think I’m behind schedule today,” I mean it as a joke, but neither of them takes it as one. “I don’t feel like doing anything, guys.” “You’ll feel so much better after a shower and putting on pretty clothes,” Madi replies, throwing me a couple of clothes. “Now, chop, chop! Into the shower!” I stay put, glaring at my best friend. Even though I know she’s trying to help me, it’s not really working. Getting up and being productive isn’t going to get me my audition back. “Come on, Muffin! We’re going to the mall for like an hour. Please, can you do that for me? Just an hour?” Mitch’s begging somehow makes me rise up from my bed and head into the shower. The hot water doesn’t help with the empty space in my heart, but it does help with the stank of four days lying in bed. With still wet hair, I get into the outfit Madison has given me and walk back out into my bedroom. Mitch and Madi both smile at me proudly like I’m a child walking for the first time. “I don’t feel like doing my hair or makeup,” I tell them, putting on some shoes. “You want us to do it for you?” Mitch asks carefully, but I shake my head. “It’s fine. I’ll probably cry and ruin it anyway.” Both of them pout before grabbing my hand and leading me downstairs and into the car. Uncle Mitch drives us to the nearest mall where we get to shopping straight away. Nothing seems to please me though. No item of clothing or accessory brings me any joy. My bank account is happy. At least that’s one of us. “What do you think of this?” Madi asks, showing off some really rad trousers. Black cargo trousers with white blocks running through it. “Those look cool. You should get them!” I encourage her, managing a tiny smile. “They’re for you,” she tells me, but I shake my head, looking through the rail of clothing. “I’m going to buy them for you anyway. I’m sure you’ll thank me later,” she says and walks off towards the register to pay for them. I watch Madi and Mitch interact for a moment. Their voices are hushed, and they’re too far away to eavesdrop. But the wide eyes and open mouths don’t predict anything good. “Everything okay?” I ask them once Madi has paid for the trousers and joined me again. Both of them push me out of the shop and into the next one, pulling and pushing me all around the place. “We’re fine!” Mitch replies, but I can tell he’s lying. “Just really excited to look here!” “Oh, look, Ems! These look cool! You always wanted those!” She pushes a jumpsuit into my hands and pushes me towards the changing rooms. Careful as she is, she pushes me into one and yanks the red curtain shut. What the hell is going on? “Madi, I really don’t feel like trying things on,” I say, reopening the curtains. “Just do it, babes,” she says, forcing me back inside. “Mads, this is a small. I can’t get my fat ass in there!” I tell her and shove the curtain open again. Madison looks behind her swiftly before exhaling and taking the jumpsuit away from me. “What’s going on, Mads?” “Nothing, babe! Just really excited about shopping!” I raise an eyebrow at her. I’m certain she’s lying to me, but I don’t know about what. Suddenly, Uncle Mitch joins us again. I hadn’t even noticed him gone. “Right, Mitch? Aren’t you excited about shopping?” “Yes! Very!” He claps his hands. “I hear there’s a sale in that shoe shop you love so much, Muffin. You want to go?” At least Uncle Mitch somewhat acts normal. Besides the vanishing. The two lead me to the shoe shop at the other side of the mall, which is busier than the side we were on previously. Must be the crazy sales.

Though every now and again, Madi and Mitch push me into dressing rooms quickly or change directions suddenly, the day actually feels decent. For the first time since Saturday, I actually feel as though my life has gone back to normal. Until I start thinking about my life and then it’s all over. I even started crying in the middle of a Claire’s, which wasn’t the prettiest sight. Madi and Mitch do spring into action immediately and bring me towards the ice cream parlor where we have several scoops of ice cream. “Thanks, guys,” I sniffle, “I know I haven’t been the easiest, but thank you for not giving up on me.” They both offer me a proud smile, and Madi even grabs my hand in hers. “We’re just glad you’re out of the house, Emsie,” she says. “Yeah, and we’re really proud of what you’ve accomplished today!” Mitch chimes in. “Aren’t you really happy with your new shoes?” I nod my head at Madi’s question. My new sneakers really are the coolest and most rad shoes I ever did see. “They’ll look great on your new pants!” Her smile widens when my lips curl up slightly. “I really like those new earrings you bought, Muffin! They’re very chic!” Mitch chimes in. “You know I’m all about the butterflies lately,” I tell him, already thinking about the cool outfit I’ll be able to put together with the shoes, the pants and the earrings. “Don’t forget that cool new jacket you found in that thrift store!” “I really wish they made those things in my size,” Mitch pouts, causing Madi and me to laugh. “There she is again!” She says excitedly. Her wide smile suddenly falters as she looks somewhere behind me. Before I can turn around to see what she’s seen, she grabs me by the hand and pulls me up. “I think we’ve done enough shopping for the day,” Mitch says, and grabs all of our bags before the three of us leave the mall. Once at home, Madi and Mitch seem to get back to their usual self; calmer and less anxious. “Show me your new outfit!” Madi shouts excitedly as we go upstairs to try everything we bought on again for a little fashion show. When we were younger, we always used to put up fashion shows with her or my mom’s heels. It was the funniest thing. “That looks so bomb!” She claps her hands excitedly, scanning up and down my body. I turn to look into the full-length mirror, and suddenly I’m taken back to our fashion shows back in the day. “Thanks for today, Mads,” I say instead of getting nostalgic about our past. “Anything for you, Emily.”

Taglist:

@parkeret @lukeys-giggle @gingerxarmy @lovesanimals @hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @ashleyleblancx @calamitykaty @lolychu @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hemmingsness @siennanoelle01 @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @luckylouiebug @kiss-themoongoodbye @camiladelrio98 @myfriendscallmebeans

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist! :)

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thisismycarbonfootprint · 2 years

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December 7, 2021 2:04pm

I am posting/writing this way later than 2:04pm, but that’s when I had this thought and wrote it down in my Notes app. Just now elaborating on it because it keeps coming up in my head.

Anyways, here is what I typed:

“everyone has moved forward and i have not”

This past year, nearly two years I guess now (basically through this pandemic so far), I’ve seen what seems like nearly all of my close friends go through something and come out on the other side.

Let me elaborate. With anonymity, of course. No name dropping here.

#1. Went through a first love and first heartbreak that was an intense heartbreak. Won’t really go through details because this is still the Internet even with 0 followers and it’s not my place to give out information like that. But believe me when I italicize and emphasize the word “intense”. Came out of it so much stronger and secure. Like was truly able to work their way through all that pain and brand new feelings and heal from it. Also spent so much time traveling and cultivating experiences & connections

#2. Has been working their tail off with all their hard work paying off. Just has gotten so many accomplishments under their belt and is truly moving up in the world. They will do great things which they’ve already proven with everything they’ve done so far. (Also, just an additional anecdote, in a great relationship now after being in a t*xic one for years -- very very happy for them)

#3. Finally got out of our hometown and got so much independence to live the life they want to. Figured out that the original plan was not what they wanted anymore and changed it to something that was less dreadful. Seems to be so happy in their college now

#4. Also went through an intense relationship ordeal and holy hell... Literally middle fingers up to the person on the other side of this because of what they caused my friend to go through. But said friend has been working & working to improve and help themselves and truly has made so much progress!!! Insanely proud of them. Of course, it’s not all completely gone at all, but when comparing it to December 2020, it is definitely better (at least from an outsider’s perspective). They also found some fantastic people to lean on, and I’m incredibly happy for that.

#5. Got taken to hell and back so, so, so many times. They were all undeserved. But this is the best I’ve ever seen them. And it’s still less than what they deserve, but I know they will continue to get to better, brighter places.

So maybe now you see what I mean when I say “everyone has moved forward”

I guess I just feel defeated and cheated. From December 2020 to now, I’ve suffered more with depression than I ever have in my life. I’ve had to cry off horrible intrusive thoughts countless times. I moved away from home and have not improved. I’ve performed pretty badly academically.

And I know there’s that classic saying/thought that when you’re depressed, you have to find little victories in the simple tasks. Which I guess I agree with? But it’s really difficult to keep that in mind and actually believe it, especially without any tangible things to back it up. Like wow, congrats! You thought about k*lling yourself, but got so tired out from crying that you just went to sleep instead! ... Not really the same as everyone else.

I want my accomplishments like everyone else has been getting. I want something good to come out of all of this struggle. I need something good to come out of all this.

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astoldbygingersnaps · 3 years

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Harper’s 2020 Fic Wrap-Up

my very good friend and incredibly talented felow writer @sagemoderocklee came up with the idea of doing an end of the year fic wrapup in an attempt to polish the turd known as 2020, and since i actually managed to get some writing done this year i figured, why not jump on the bandwagon?

a lot of super duper fucking shitty things happened in 2020, but i will always be proud that in this incredibly chaotic, stressful, and challenging year i managed to produce almost 180k of content (and that’s not even counting the writing i started in 2020 but haven’t published yet). so, to celebrate what’s been a pretty big achievement for me, i wanted to go through the various projects i’ve spent the last twelve months working on and give a preview of my plans for 2021.

let’s jump in!

projects i worked on/completed in 2020:

first off, let’s start with the beast to end all beasts, my personal baby, and honestly probably the reason most people follow me -- star trek au:

something bigger than the sky (shiita; 44,163 words; completed):

i’ve said this before, but the whole idea for star trek au was literally just a joke between me and my-then girlfriend, now-fiancee, and eternal shiita enabler alexa aka @durintrash (by the way, if you follow me for my fics and you DON’T follow alexa for her corresponding art WHAT, exactly, are you doing with your life????) where i sat in a space-themed diner and said ‘haha imagine itachi as a vulcan.’ but then i blinked and suddenly somehow i’d written the prologue and the first chapter of SBTTS in the span of a week. it’s like i was possessed by a fanfic demon.

it sounds super cheesy but i honestly can’t say enough how important this fic has been to me and how much it’s pushed me to be a more productive and more dedicated writer. previously i spent a lot of time Thinking about writing and occasionally i’d put a few words on the page and then i’d go... do... something... else. but star trek au was the first idea i loved enough that it actually pushed me to write and keep writing and not give up even when i was confronted with things like writer’s block and worry over the quality of my writing. so thank you, star trek au, for being the light in a very dark year for me.

by the end of SBTTS, i felt like i accomplished everything i wanted to do with the story’s beginning installment: i introduced all the characters and set the groundwork for their development; i showed what life on the corvus was like and how starfleet, the federation, and the universe functioned; and, more than anything, i was able to sketch out both the main protagonists -- itachi and shisui -- with all their strengths and flaws, show their relationship to one another, and hint at how that relationship would progress.

all the stars are closer (shiita; 75,195 words; completed)

considering how slow i used to be at writing, i thought it would be, like, twelve years before i managed to get to the second part in the series. BUT then covid happened and i half-lost, half-quit my job, and like a lot of people this year i ended up with a lot of free time on my hands. and so, like a fucking demon, i finished this part in two and a half months.

when i originally planned this part out, i really thought it would be a lot shorter and a lot lighter atmosphere-wise than it turned out. instead, this second section of the story ended up being pretty meaty in terms of length and in subject.

that said, overall, i’m really happy with how ATSAC turned out. i loved the way the characters progressed, how the relationships deepened, and how we were able to see this universe grow bigger and more complicated. and i’m very satisifed with how it set the stage for part three, which takes us to...

lovers alone wear sunlight (shiita; 41,518 words; in progress)

there’s... a lot about this part that i just can’t talk about yet, a) because it isn’t finished and b) because it contains some of the biggest plot points in the entire series thus far. if you’ve been keeping up with the stardates thus far (which i encourage you to do!) you know what part three is leading up to: itachi leaving the corvus and the dissolution of shisui and itachi’s growing relationship.

with that in mind, i’m... more than a little terrified about writing part three, which is why the third chapter has been languishing in my google drive for months now. (and also why i started not one, but TWO new fics to cope with my writer’s block. whoops.) chapter three is where all the parts come together and shit hits the fan, and i can only hope that everyone will be as excited to read it as i am to publish it.

next up, the two other projects i began this year:

salvation comes only in our dreams (shiita; canon divergence; 16,835 words; in progress)

for a long time, i’ve wanted to write something that’s actually set in the naruto universe and works to correct a lot of the flaws that i see in the series. there are a lot of things that bother me about naruto, but i think one of the things that frustrates me the most is the really messy and in some ways offensive resolution to the uchiha coup plot thread, and i wanted to write a story that dealt with the complicated themes of the series--imperialism, oppression, genocide, child soldiers--but, like, didn’t suck and completely drop the ball. thus, the massacre au was born.

my main goal was to tell a story that showed a lot of these characters in ways we’ve never seen them before, specifically itachi. i didn’t want to write itachi as just an idealist who suffers and Suffers AND SUFFERS for konoha yet still remains loyal to the village for some unfathomable reason like he is in the series. i wanted to write an itachi that was sharper, more jaded, and more suspicious of the world around him, but overall was still a good person with a kind heart. and for shisui, well... obviously there’s a lot going on there, too.

this is easily the darkest story i’ve ever written, and as the plot thickens it will certainly get darker with relationship dynamics that are complicated and unhealthy At Best. i hope that as the story goes on it’s a ride people continue to enjoy, as i was super pleasantly surprised at how popular this fic became (compared to my usual stats, at least)

oceans between us (shiita; alternate universe; 15,039 words; in progress)

it’s good to know that i continue to be the most ridiculously niche version of myself as yes, i wrote a fucking shiita atonement au.

with each fic i write i try to have a very specific voice that suits the particular piece and distinguishes it from other stories that include the same characters. for example, star trek au chapters tend to be more fun and light-hearted (especially shisui POV chapters) and lean more into the action movie and sci-fi adventure feel of the star trek universe, while the massacre au is written in a way that’s much heavier and guided by itachi’s emotions and experiences. my main goal with this story was to give it the same romantic, operatic, almost hazy quality that the movie has, which reflects the period setting and also the nature of this grand tragic love story.

i knew from the beginning that there were going to be a lot of things that i cut from the film in my retelling, like the lola subplot and obviously the setting of pre-wwii england. i also knew i wanted to explore some of the aspects of the film that were implied more than outright stated, like the themes of classism and upper-class privileges. and more than anything i wanted to structure this piece around this idea of tension building and building until it finally snaps and there’s just a world of mess and hurt and loss that affects these two characters in two very different ways.

also, the sex scene. i haven’t written a sex scene for anything in, like, a decade, so that was a lot of pressure. but i’m happy with how it came out and i think it ended up being an aspect of the story that felt like both a natural progression and necessary to show the affection these two people have for one another.

originally i was just going to end the story with shisui going to jail, but when i told alexa this i genuinely thought she was going to kill me. so, that didn’t happen lmao. but the more i tried to imagine what a second chapter would look like, the more i realized she was right, and it would have been a terrible idea to end the fic there. as for whether or not the final chapter will keep That Ending... who can say?

goals i have for 2021:

finishing lovers alone wear sunlight and, if i’m very lucky, beginning the fourth and second to last part of star trek au (yes, as it currently stands this 160k+ word series is only halfway finished. sorry not sorry)

publishing the next chapter of salvation comes only in our dreams (i don’t know when it will drop. i don’t know anything about this fic. please do not @ me)

completing oceans between us (the second and final chapter is currently sitting at about 4k words and will probably end up at about 15k in total)

completing and publishing a new fic i’ve started at the very end of 2020, which is the shiita jurassic world au nobody but me and alexa knew they wanted. it’s essentially a 90s romcom with dinosaurs and i cannot Wait to share it. (it’s at about 9k right now and will probably end up being around 20k to 23k in total... maybe...)

FINALLY starting my dream project: the shiita olympics au i’ve been planning for years, where itachi is a figure skater and shisui is a hockey player (i’d like to keep this under 150k but at this point trying to keep my stories at a managable word count is a losing battle)

anyway, that’s it! if you managed to get this far in this very self-indulgent and shameless bit of self promotion, congrats! also, a very big thank you to everyone who’s read my fics, left me kudos and comments, and spent their time on my work, because it really does mean the world to me.

here’s hoping 2021 is a much healthier and happier year for us all!

#my fic #shiita #this was so much fun to write so kudos to eeri for coming up with this idea

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fencesandfrogs · 3 years

Text

cloudtail’s daughter: hollyleaf

alright, continuing my long running deluge of words, we move on to hollyleaf.

ah, hollyleaf. canon did you dirty. luckily, given your lifespan, i can do whatever i want with you. as long as you end up in starclan. also i haven't read squirrelflight's hope so i don't know the deal with that.

right. but as far as i'm concerned, i get to do whatever i want to do with her, and that means i'm...less making tweaks to her character and more giving us more of her, and smoothing out her character arc, because it's all a mess, you don't need me to tell you that.

alright, as per usual, warnings/disclaimers/we: this is for my cloudtail's daughter au. this goes pretty off the rails from canon, so i suspect it'll be coherent, but i still think either the main au explanation or the dovewing post is a better place to start.

2.5k words, 10min read. the least organized of all of these (no section headers).

right so i'm not really sure where to begin with hollyleaf, but i think the best place is the earliest one yet: roughly the fire scene. because hollyleaf is breaking one of my cardinal rules: don't mess with what came before, and so it's best we start there, i think.

right, so hollyleaf, as we know, takes the news about her parentage badly. and i'm not taking that away, mostly, but she doesn't devolve quite so quickly. because i just. don't like it.

hollyleaf is smart, she's loyal, it's a reasonable decision for her to fall of the rails as such, but i just really don't like it. i want hollyleaf to fall apart and come back together. i want her to have to deal with the consequences of her actions. and in this essay i will.. no but i'm getting ahead of myself, we'll do all that. first things first, though, hollyleaf keeps herself together, until she realizes ashfur isn't going to let this stay secret.

so she kills him.

and the truth comes out pretty fast. like no one is 100% sure but everybody knows.

and that? that is what really cracks hollyleaf.

right so remember in my worldbuilding post when i said something-something-i-don't-care-about-hollyleaf's-story? yeah turns out that was a fucking lie.

because i realized that i couldn't really make this work unless i knew why hollyleaf came back because well it's kind of a big deal. so i had to figure it out, and i was hyper proud of myself for realizing she could save dovepaw from the tunnels, and then i was like "well people have a lot of questions for her," to the point where one of the chapters in fading echoes is titled "questions" and it's just straight up people questioning what happened to her.

so. she still goes into the tunnels. and she meets fallen leaves. and they hit it off, probably a little faster. (tbh i'm still not interested in writing this, just what happens).

and she chills walright, continuing my long running deluge of words, we move on to hollyleaf.

right, so hollyleaf, as we know, takes the news about her parentage badly. and i'm not taking that away, mostly, but she doesn't devolve quite so quickly. because i just. don't like it.

hollyleaf is smart, she's loyal, it's a reasonable decision for her to fall of the rails as such, but i just really don't like it. i want hollyleaf to fall apart and come back together. i want her to have to deal with the consequences of her actions. and in this essay i will... no but i'm getting ahead of myself, we'll do all that. first things first, though, hollyleaf keeps herself together, until she realizes ashfur isn't going to let this stay secret.

so she kills him.

and the truth comes out pretty fast. like no one is 100% sure but everybody knows.

and that? that is what really cracks hollyleaf.

right so remember in my worldbuilding post when i said something-something-i-don't-care-about-hollyleaf's-story? yeah turns out that was a fucking lie.

so you know everything is fine until a thunderclan apprentice stumbles into the tunnels, hurt and scared, unable to protect herself.

hollyleaf and fallen leaves protect dovepaw, a flood happens, i haven't worked out the details and i'm fairly tired ATM, so please forgive my handwaving.

so yeah, dovepaw is with them for three days.

hollyleaf basically gets caught by cinderheart when they're going back, so she's like "well guess now i gotta see my family" and cinderheart is like "yeah u idiot we all miss u n i love u but i am dating ur brother now" and hollyleaf is like "fair enough i have a ghost boyfriend" and they're all good

everyone has a hell of a lot of questions for hollyleaf. i have a whole chapter dedicated to it. here are some of them, and some of the answers.

brambleclaw: why didn't you tell me? (no, he hasn't learned from squirrelflight how unhelpful this question is) hollyleaf: because you're the deputy and there's no guarantee you wouldn't out me, considering you were still disowning me

dovepaw: yo so there was another cat with you wasn't there? hollyleaf: ohhh yeah i have a ghost boyfriend sorry forgot to tell you that

squirrelflight: do you still hate me? hollyleaf: mom i'm so sorry i love you so much

and then hollyleaf is home. i mean jayfeather won't talk to her but that's a few books from now, when they have ghost partners, okay?

but before that, she has to go do beavers, and she never gets a real proper chance to make up with everyone

(don't worry, she'll get the chance before she dies.)

right so dovepaw has her beaver stuff and hollyleaf tags along because Nine Is A Holy Number

really, i just need a narrator on the beaver quest, and for reasons i've mentioned but will explain in a moment, it can't be cinderheart.

so i have this symbolism going where dove/ivy start and end the series (what, i'm big on structural symbolism. i put thought into everything. especially since i'm limited in these books with what/how i accomplish, so the things that are entirely mine, like who narrates what, is carefully thought out). anyway that's because they have turning points in their relationship in the first and last book. they fall apart at the midpoint of growing shadows, and they aren't fully repaired ever, but they get closest at about the midpoint of the last hope. that's a symbolic thing, that they've come back to where they've started, but not quite. can't go back, even if you regret.

regret is a big theme in this series. ivy and dove are a pair in part because they're bound by all of these regrets that keeps stacking up.

now, the natural choice for a narrator of the beavers would be cinderheart. she's a substitude lionblaze as far as this book is concerned. however, cinderheart needs to be the main narrator when she takes dovepaw to the tribe. she just does. so we could do two cinderheart books in a row, but then where do we put lionblaze? he's not really a major character in the second arc, he basically does nothing. i guess we could have him deal with sol, but cinderheart's arc is supposed to be she learns how to solve problems in different ways, and that's why she's able to tackle sol. so, like, fine, what if we make cinderheart and lionblaze arc one narrators, and have sol be a background thing? i mean, if i did it for the dark forest, i could definitely do it for this.

so that does create one problem: regret doesn't bind cinderheart to lionblaze. regret is a theme through cinderpelt and cinderheart. lionblaze is a sexy lamp. he doesn't mean anything, he's just a love interest to challenge cinderheart. so. it feels bad to me to artifiically pair them together and imply they have a dynamic like that.

and the larger problem is what it does to hollyleaf and jayfeather.

see, hollyleaf and jayfeather have this aborted forgiveness arc, that plagues jayfeather. i'm going to write a jayfeather super edition so help me god, but that's for another time. anyway, hollyleaf is trying to make up with everyone, but jayfeather won't let her.

and he's never going to get the chance to make amends, because she dies in the last book.

but anyway, if we make hollyleaf and jayfeather the exclusive narrators of books 4 and 5, we imply their character arc happens. there. and that's...not what happens.

it's aborted. they're decoupled, desynched. they have a moment of synchrony, where they have this shared experience, but it's not enough. hollyleaf is in jayfeather's past, and he's tryign so hard to move forward. it's all ~very symbolic.~

right. back to the present day, hollyleaf has to go to do the beavers mostly because i said so, but also because i'm cautious about drawing false parallels. i think it was cinderheart's essay where i said this is the only part of it i have control over (was it earlier in this essay i've worked on this for like 3 days) and so i want to do it right. but also, she's going to be a good narrator, becuase she's covering a lot of ground, and i think hollyleaf is pretty interesting.

so hollyleaf, my dear, terrified of breaking the code, hollyleaf, watches dovepaw and tigerheart get...close.

and this is. well, hollyleaf has seen what happened when people date illegal options. and it's not good.

so she spends most of the book just kinda panicking, waiting for the moment this goes south.

beavers happen, it's the same as the books, i'm super uninterested in that plotline to the point of memery. hollyleaf is fine, everything is fine, dovepaw is sad now because cats died, everything is fine.

so i mentioned at some point or the other that dovepaw begins sleeping on top of tigerheart. dovepaw, at this point, is fully grown, but she's on the smaller side. she's a standard to small cat. tigerheart is a tigerstar clone, and tigerstar has some maine coon genes or something because he's massive. so uhh you know she probably could literally sleep on top of him but it's not quite that, it's more she's curled up and he's kind of curled up around her, but not as a concious thing. it's similar to when u accidentally wake up cuddling someone bc u shared a bed and that's that. but less awkward.

anyway hollyleaf is like "cinderheart cinderheart we should do something this is a problem," but if u remember from cinderheart, cinderheart is also being nagged by cinderpelt about this.

so cinderheart doesn't want to hear it and hollyleaf is pretty much "whelp guess i'll just die" and by die i mean quietly glare at tigerheart and shower dovepaw in love and affection.

anyway yeah after that hollyleaf does nothing for like two books.

or one book? i guess beavers is book two anyway look she misses her gf but cinderheart is in the mountains and then she's like "oh wait i have a ghost bf i should talk to"

so hollyleaf spends more and more time in the tunnels. this book actually takes place at about the same time as distant whispers. there's not 100% overlap, but it's close.

right so jayfeather (i swear i wrote dovefeather this is the problem with having 3 linked aus god) follows hollyleaf into the tunnels and he has his whole time travel sequence/half of it i still haven't decided what i'm doing with it.

and hollyleaf and fallen leaves have good ole interpersonal drama, where they're trying to be a thing but hollyleaf belongs in thunderclan and yes, this means that hollyleaf is the character who gets the singular book, because jayfeather is extremely isolated from the main plot. in fact, the only reason i keep the time travel plot is because canon. not that i don't like that it exists but for it to have been executed well it needs to be less disjoint. which is why i think i'm breaking A Rule so i can put it all in oots so it's more logical. but that's a different rant.

anyway, there's a quasi-religious conflict where hollyleaf is like "just go to starclan" and fallen leaves is like "my whole problem is how i can't do that"

uh yeah idrk exactly what happens it is once again 3am so uhhh yeah ghost cats she considers leaving thunderclan bc jayfeather won't talk to her lionblaze is away she's still mad at leafpool and squilf is in an abusive relationship and hollyleaf is still pretty young, y'know? that's a lot.

firestar is like "grand daughter i love you dearly but can u maybe uh can u maybe make up your god damn mind"

anyway so hollyleaf and fallen leaves have a bit of a fight, he's like, "i'm keeping u back," she's like "ur not" but she knows he is, etc etc it's very sad and dramatic

so they kind of break up? it's a lil complicated but basically they're not talking to each other for a while, they're on the cat equivalent of "taking a break" ig

alright, so then book 5 happens, and it's jayfeather and cinderheart prepping for the great battle. idk. hollyleaf chills w lionblaze in BGCH and makes friends with ivypool. it's chill. i mean, it's not, but it is.

book six, hollyleaf is the only one to stay in thunderclan. she's kinda j chilling til the battle. and then. and then. oh this is the good part.

she sacrifices her self for ivypool.

yeah. okay, this is super disjoint, so i'm going with it. hollyleaf? done.

#warriors #hollyleaf #fallen leaves #jayfeather #warriors au #q #mine #txt #5th #March #2021 #March 5th 2021 #cloudtail's daughter #long #essay

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mochuelovelli · 3 years

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Lilith for the character ask?

Oh boy, a controversial character! Gotta say, I stan James Charles /J

How do I feel about this character?:

On a real note, I do like Lilith as a character. When we first meet her, she's pompous and proud. Oozing with entitlement, she's easy to route against and you like to see her get worked up and "brought down" to Eda's level as the wild which so eloquently put it. Later on, but not too much later that it feels disingenuous, we really get to see her show that she cares for her sister. One might believe it is *Eda* being ridiculous, as far as the audience is aware, Lilith's offer holds little downsides. Eda would be cured and be afforded the luxuries of the upper class AND keep her magic. All she had to do was be the Emperor's soldier.

As to not get off track by talking about Eda, (im sure Lilith herself would loathe that lol) Lilith's reveal to have cursed her sister over a spot in the emperor's coven was...controversial to say the least. I don't think it's unpopular to voice that, yeah. It could've been communicated better to the audience since I saw plenty of commentators and regular fans themselves either thought Lilith cursing her sister was *needlessly* petty and not at all thought out (which yeah it kinda was).

From where I stand on that issue is, yeah, Lilith's whole reason to curse her sister could've been avoided by just talking to her sister and asking her to let her have this. BUT, I think a lot of people forget that the Emperor's coven would want to limit the number of powerful witches in their coven. Sure, Belos would want to be protected by a bunch of loyal soldiers, but he wouldn't want too much of the population to ever have a much power as him. So limiting the number of members in not just his coven but possible in the other major covens, would aid in controlling that population.

This might be pure hogwash but like, there are a ton of other "lesser" covens. So in my mind, it's more likely that the general population of witches gets sorted into one of the various miscellaneous. If you think limiting yourself to only practicing Illusion magic sucks, imagine only practicing whatever the fuck the "swag coven" does.

Lol gonna add a page break this shit is getting too long

Romantic Ships for this character?:

Hm, it's only s1 and we haven't seen her interact w/ many characters outside of her fam/Belos/actual children. I kinda jokingly ship here with Steve lol. Kikimora and her also have a funny dynamic but in all actuality, I don't ship her w/ anyone rn.

Non-Romantic Ships for this character?:

Her and Hooty lol. I mean Eda is an obvious answer but like, Hooty fucking with Lilith is too funny to not want to see. Her and King would be great too, probably get some good B plots out of it. It would be a good contrast since they both can be petty but in different ways and I think that would help flesh out their characters a bit more and maybe cause some introspection (at least on Lilith’s end lol)

Unpopular opinion about this character?:

Lol. I feel like she is such a divisive character in general that most opinions about her aren’t too out of the main stream. I guess a more meta take is that when she’s portrayed in fanworks, usually fanfic but not exclusively, very...one note lol. She’s usually a pretty flat, boring character in an attempt to highlight the contrast between her and Eda. She’s the straight-laced, “responsible” sibling who has a chip on her shoulder. In fanon, that equates to her characterization to either be like, completely and utterly apologetic to the point where it becomes unbelievable for any person to do. Her apologizing or making amends is usually quickly forgiven by Luz/and or Eda. Sure, Luz is very forgiving person naturally but like?? She’s wasn’t mad in canon too much about THEIR well being (almost getting impaled), she was specifically pissed about Lilith betraying Eda.

So, if Lilith is a big part of your story (and it’s working in the realm of canon), then this should be a problem which doesn’t get resolved by just ONE big action. I also feel like her being on better terms with Eda would come BEFORE Luz since Eda’s main gripe with her would be about her being annoyed by Lilith’s controlling nature and the fact that she didn’t trust her enough to talk about her feelings back when she was first cursed (also her using Luz against her but I feel like that would probably be a hurdle that wouldn’t really be over come until Lilith in turn would be willing to sacrifice herself for Luz while also making an effort to care for Luz as a person not just see her as a “pet”). Hhhh this section is so long and its kinda bleeding over in the next question so-

Something I wish will happen or would have wanted to happen in canon?:

yall if you are still reading I am so sorry sksk

I want Lilith in general, not to be forgiven by either Luz or Eda. Eda probably early on stating about how she is unsure if she could EVER forgive her sister for what she has done. BUT, critically, Eda would see that Lilith is trying and she is willing to work with her (with a unhelpful dose of teasing) because at the end of the day she still loves her sister. For the relationship they had before everything with south, for knowing her side of the story even though she believes it doesn’t justify her actions. She understands and sympathizes, she’s grown a bit softer thanks to Luz, which is very funny since I want Luz to be the one who is the hardest to convince Lilith actually had a change of heart but more on that later.

Before I move on to what I want her path towards forgiveness with Luz looks like, I want to bring up a parallel that I haven’t seen many people make. Fans always talk about the parallel between the Clawthornes and Luz/Amity, and rightly so because there is a lot to extrapolate there, but I think another interesting dynamic that might be interesting to see in s2 would be an episode that focuses on lost friendship/sisterhood with the Clawthornes and Amity and Willow. It’s kinda funny that Amity and Willow’s friendship was ruined because Willow was too “weak” while Eda was too “powerful”. In a potential episode, it can show the progression both Eda/Lilith and Willow/Amity are making in rekindling their relationship with each other. For Eda and Lilith this would be a lot more rough around the edges since it both be either the first or one of the first attempts at doing so while Willow/Amity would maybe be further along yet still have some major/minor hang ups with one another. With Willow/Amity, their relationship would either be rounding the bend of fully moving past the “idk how to feel about you stage” or it is stated outright that Willow forgives Amity, (and by forgive, I mean in the “we both know what you did, you’ve actually changed. we won’t have the same relationship that we once had but I’m okay with trying again”). In contrast, Lilith and Eda would reach a understanding and come up with some ground rules on how to handle each other (Eda’s main take away from this “episode” would be what I previously stated in the last question), ones that will be more like guidelines cuz its Eda lol. Also what separates the Clawthornes conflict from the Willow/Amity one (besides the obvious) is that the Clawthornes both know how the other works. Which buttons to push and all that so both of them are going to have to learn to resist doing that, at least a bit, in order to actually progress.

ANYWAYS, I also want Luz to be the one to regard Lilith the coldest. Luz refusing to let Lilith teach her anything despite probably having more practical/book smarts knowledge on magic theory than Eda because she doesn’t trust her. If they are gonna use that masked dude as a spy, I want Luz to assume Lilith is somehow a coconspirator. This plot thread doesn’t have to be going at 100% the whole time, (in fact I would want it to be a temp thing maybe lasting a couple eps at most or like, just something that is hinted at but not dived deeply until the second half of the season). Really, Lilith has a hard time because Luz straight up doesn’t give her the opportunity to really express her regret/remorse. Lilith probably won’t at first give her a ton of reasons to forgive her as she usually attempts at coming back at Luz’s snide remarks with her own quippy comebacks. Sksk a really angsty end to an attempt could include Lilith saying something to Luz after going on a small talk with her (where yeah Lilith has improved but still needs noticeable work) that she “reminds her a lot of Eda” and Luz bites back with something like “Oh yeah? You going to curse me too? You want another person you can force to do what YOU want?”.

Hell maybe “parental problems” could have Lilith poke at, either on purpose or accidentally, Luz’s feelings about going back to the human world and Camila. Lilith reminding her, maybe unknowingly, reminds her a lot of her mom and that causes her to blow up on her. Luz would hate that comparison, thinking about how similar her mom and Lilith are to one another. That because she still has such a strong dislike of Lilith, it bleeds over into how Luz views Camila and vice versa. In that, both Camila and Lilith value respect, an adherence to the rules, have a great sense of wisdom (arguably for Lilith lol /hj), and (eventually for Lilith once she gets to know Luz better) a genuine want for Luz to succeed and belief in her even though they are critical of her actions at times. Sure Eda reminds her of that more, motherly protective kind of love, in which she would do anything for her to be happy and healthy. Lilith can be the other side of that, the worry and slight doubt. That familiar way they each go about trying to understand and get close to Luz yet not quite getting it yet would still do whatever she’d ask for her sake. Luz at first would take Lilith being disappointed in her actions as an accomplishment. As they grow closer and the more Lilith reminds her of her mom, it becomes scary. The disappointment hurts and in an effort not to feel like that again and to not want to think about the comparison between Lilith and her mother she will snap back at her. Eventually Lilith would then have to change again and reassure her that she cares and by extent, her mother cares to. It is here Lilith is willing to let go of being so constantly controlling and learns to encourage first (or do some form of the compliment sandwich) and Luz comes to peace with her feelings about her mother and understands her position better. To be able to love herself even if she knows that she will always try to do her best.

oh my fucking god you made it im so sorry i guess i had a lot of thoughts. fffffff

#TOH #lilith clawthorne #the owl house #character ask meme #luz noceda #edalyn clawthorne #yall im so sorry #this is very fanficy an long rip #if you read all this you are a champ but also no i cant cover your insurance lol

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clevercatchphrase · 3 years

Text

2020 Year Review~

2020. Pretty unique year, don’t you think? It’s the first year since 2002 to have only two different digits in it. After 2022, this won’t happen again until 2111. Yep. Absolutely nothing more interesting than that.

Anyway! It’s time I reflect on my 2020, look back on my yearly goals and rant about things that happened to me this year. I made a post like this last year, where I went over my 2019 goals and talked about what I accomplished and what I didn’t, and it’s only fitting I do the same again this year. Read more under the cut for a random stream of consciousness ramble!

So, first things first, let’s look at my 2019 goals;

Finish paying off that last student loan

Put more stuff on my redbubble

Illustrate my own fan fics

Sew at least one stuffed animal

Make an enamel pin

Read one new book a month

Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make

Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch

Boost my patreon

Paying Off My Last Student Loan: Going down the list, I am proud to say that I FINALLY paid off all my student loans! (and not a moment too soon. The last payment I made was literally days before the first quarantine rolled out). It took me roughly 4 years on my part-time paycheck to pay off all my loans, and once I finished, I had no money to my name (literally; I had less than 1k as emergency money in case of car troubles or health issues). Heck, I’m STILL living at home as a save up for a place of my own. Finally paying off all my student loans DID activate my secret 2020 new year’s resolution, which was to adopt a cat! I did this too, literally a week later! She is the best thing that’s happened to me this entire year and I love her so much and she is the snuggliest cuddle bug I’ve ever met. I’m so happy she’s in my life now~

Put More Stuff On My Redbubble: ah ha ha ha… I thought I did this, but then I went and checked, and it turns out-! I did not. I made art I intended to go on my redbubble, but haven’t put there yet. They are all drawings of some OCs from a game I want to make, but because I haven’t progressed on making the game this year, I never got around to putting more stuff related to it on my redbubble. At the time of writing, there are 7 days left in December, so I guess I could go and put it up on my redbubble right now, but without context on where the characters are from, there wouldn’t be much point, now would there?

Illustrate My Own Fan Fics: Another goal that I was so stoked to actually do… and then just didn’t. Gee, I wonder why I couldn’t find the energy or motivation to do it this year? Truly a conundrum. (Hey, you know what? If Ghost Switch counts as a fan fiction in a visual form, then I am doing GREAT on this goal. 2.5 years in, 1 of ~4 arcs done, and still going steady~)

Sew At Least One Stuffed Animal: Okay, I have a valid excuse for not doing this one. I even knew which stuffed animal I wanted to make, and had the pattern drawn out and everything, but I had no money for materials because I had just paid off my student loans. And then, by the time I did have enough money again, quarantine was in full effect and I couldn’t go out to the fabric store. I’m still trying my best to stay out of public places even if the rules are laxer now, because I don’t want to catch the plague even if everyone in my goddamn city thinks and acts like the problem is over already. Even if they’re all wearing masks, even if they’re staying 6 feet apart, I still don’t want to risk it. I will stay inside until health experts give the all clear, and when that day comes, then I will buy some fleece and make a plush.

Make An Enamel Pin: I ACTUALLY DID THIS ONE. TWICE! Halfway through quarantine, I was feeling anxious and depressed about my job and how they were planning to have me work with the public despite climbing infection rates and positive covid cases. I didn’t quit then, but in a desperate move to try and become self-sufficient, I went to madebycooper and made two enamel pins based on some butterfly dragons I drew last year. They’re on my etsy store now! I even went out of my way to open a P.O. box just to start a small business! I haven’t sold a single pin yet, and I’m actually really nervous to sell my first because I don’t trust the efficiency of the postal system thanks to the actions of the GOP that really screwed them over this year! (If you would like to see my enamel pins, click here!)

Read One Book A Month: I did this! With dragon books I bought a couple years back! In fact, I read FOURTEEN dragon books, and still have more books for next year to read! The 14 books I read this year were:

The Hive Queen

The Poison Jungle

Wings Of Fire Legends: Dragonslayer

Dealing With Dragons

Searching For Dragons

Calling on Dragons

Talking to Dragons

The Bronze Dragon Codex

The Brass Dragon Codex

The Black Dragon Codex

The Red Dragon Codex

The Silver Dragon Codex

Dragon Strike, and

Hatching Magic

To be honest, I had read The Red Dragon Codex years ago when it first came out, but completely forgotten what it was about. I remembered liking it, and I knew the reading level was on the lower side, but the whole dragon codex series was pretty good! So far, the Silver dragon codex was my favorite, and black dragon codex was probably the worst! Hatching Magic was also really slow and bad and had plot points that went nowhere, but the book was written in the 80s, so I don’t know what I expected. The Dealing with Dragons series was very charming and great for the most part, save for one line in the last book that really rubbed me the wrong way, and all the Wings of Fire Books go above and beyond in this third arc. The second legends book could be a little tighter, though (sky and wren are the best duo and I want a book solely about them, but I honest to god do not care about leaf and ivy’s stories.)

Write one Page of any story every day/ complete at least one fic: I… did this? Okay, I kinda cheated near the end of the year. I was keeping up the one page a day thing for the first four months, but then the world went to shit and my schedule and habits got disrupted and I fell off my good track record. I completed 7 out of roughly 12 one-shots I had planned for this year (my goal WAS supposed to be one short a month, but… you know how it happens) I kept trying to catch up on this goal all year, but the days kept piling up…. Until November hit. I managed to write over 250 pages for Nanowrimo, and I consider this goal a win. 365 pages of fiction in total, which averages out to about one a day~. SHUT UP IT COUNTS.

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make: Another goal I didn’t have the mental energy to commit to this year. Truly a mystery to where all our willpower went in 2020.

Fully Finish Scripting Ghost Switch: still haven’t done this one yet! The Snowdin arc is completely planned, but I just haven’t gotten around to getting the other areas. I’m not worried, though. I know all the major plot points I gotta hit, it’s just weaving them together in a way that flows nice is the final task. I’m not too worried though. I don’t expect to finish the Snowdin arc for another year and a half, at the bare minimum.

And my last goal of 2020, Boost My Patreon. I did this at the beginning of the year, but then very intentionally stopped about a third of the way through. It didn’t sit right with me to tell you guys to donate to me when suddenly EVERYONE was financially strained from layoffs or being furloughed. I told my patrons the same, and if you ever need to stop donating to me to take care of yourself first, then by all means, please do. I would feel much better knowing you’re using your money to see yourself fed and housed instead of given to me (where it is pretty much only used to buy gas for my car, honestly)

Welp! That was all my goals for 2020! I achieved 4 out of 10 goals plus 1 secret goal! Pretty much the same ratio as last year, but now this time I can blame all my failures on the pandemic! I don’t feel so bad about myself anymore~

ON TO 2021!

I have 11 goals for the new year, again some rolled over from this list, and some from even older years. They are, in no particular order;

Read 12 new books (roughly 1 book a month)

Finish the first draft of 2019’s Nanowrimo project and rewrite it

Script TDV

Finish Scripting Ghost Switch

Build A Comic Buffer

Sew 1 Stuffed Animal

Finish 1 Song Comic

Make another Enamel Pin

Finish 2 short original comics (this one counts as 2 goals)

Finish the 5 remaining one-shot fics

Now to go into depth on each one, more for my own sake, really. I want to know exactly what I have planned for each goal this year, and sometimes just looking at a short list doesn’t capture all the smaller details.

1)Read 12 new books. Same as last year! I The only difference is I might not be able to make it all dragon-related books. (I try my hardest not to buy from amazon anymore, but half-price-books doesn’t always have the obscure stuff I’m looking for)

2)Finish 2019’s nanowrimo project. If you read my 2019 year reflection, you’ll notice I said I wanted to do some original writing. And I did! The story I wrote for nanowrimo back then was a story I’ve been toying with since 2017, but it was only last year I finally got pen to paper. Now, you may find it odd that the keyword says “finish”. You may think, “but isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for nanowrimo?” and to that I say, WRONG! I wrote 50k words for nanowrimo, but the draft was only about halfway complete. I was kinda discouraged about what I had written last year, because I didn’t like how it was coming out, but I did manage to get it half done. Now it’s time for me to bite the bullet and just finish the thing so I can finally revise it and make it into something I DO like. (It’s still gonna be hella long, tho. That’s what I get for trying to write an epic fantasy, I guess.)

3)Script TDV. TDV is the abbreviation of the game I want to make. I… still need to do so much for this project OTL… In addition to getting the story solidified, I still need to draw art and game assets, and learn how to code for it, both of which are no small task. I keep having some sort of new year’s goal related to this on my list, and every year I just don’t hit this one. Will 2021 be different?

4)Finish Scripting Ghost Switch. (Or at the very least, get the waterfall arc completely written out). I have a plan to break this down into simpler steps, by focusing on just one arc for a month or two. Every major arc has 2 to 3 parts, broken up by flashbacks, and if I can just finish one section a month, then I should have the entire thing scripted by the end of the year. It’s not a difficult pace, but seeing if I stick with it will be the real challenge, as it is will all my goals it seems.

5)Build a Comic Buffer: I’m actually working on this one right now! Since I paid off my last loan and got a new job this year, my current Patreon goals are kind of out of date. They had all been centered around me paying off that last loan, and working towards full-time employment, but those are both completed now! So instead, I would love to get to a place where my patrons could read pages at least a week ahead, and to do that, I need to build a buffer. And since I’m working 5 full days a week now, I can’t afford to fall behind. But you can’t fall behind if you constantly stay ahead! I would like to have… a 10 to 12 page buffer. That’s roughly 3 months’ worth of pages to always have on hand in case I get swamped with work, or something. Right now I currently have a buffer of 3, which will cover me for half a January, which is better than not having anything at all, but still not the best. (ultimately, I would love to have a buffer so big, I could queue them up for the whole year. Wouldn’t that be something?)

6) Sew one stuffed animal: same as last year. ASSUMING the plague gets under control in 2021, I don’t expect to get to this goal until the summer at the earliest.

7)Finish 1 song comic: I have 7 song comics planned. One is a gift, one possibly for wandersong, one is a collab that’s currently in the works, but I’m waiting on a friend to do their part before I can continue mine, 2 are UT related, and 2 (well, technically 3, but one is the collab) are KH related. It’s one of the UT ones that will probably get finished, if I’m being honest. It’s completely story boarded, and now I just need to ink and color it. I would like to get it done for UT’s 6th birthday, since I made a song comic on the fly for the anniversary this year, and it was fun, and I’d like to do it again! So, look forward to that next september~

8) Make another enamel pin: I have a dolphin design I’d like to make because dolphins are cute, if not little murder machines. (need to save up some expendable income first, tho. THESE THINGS AIN’T CHEAP TO MAKE.)

9 and 10) start and finish 2 original short comics: I’ve got some comic ideas I want to do, but I need to get them written out first. I don’t think either would be too long. Each maybe a couple “episode’s” length, if envisioned on a website like webtoons or tapas. They’d both be heavy in allegory, but not overly drawn out (hopefully)

11)And lastly, Finish the 5 remaining one-shots I had planned for this year but never got around to. I’m going to try to write one every other month. Pure self-indulgent shipping fluff. If I finish these 5, then maybe I’ll ask other people for more prompts and ideas, which I’ve never done before. We’ll see how it goes~

Also, Like last year, I’d like to look at everything that’s happened to me this year, though to be honest, I’m not sure how much I remember/how accurate it’ll be. God, I don’t even remember what January was like. Who was I back then? Who were we all back then? I guess I’ll start my yearly retrospective in march because, heh, god we ALL know what started happening in march.

Firstly, I paid off my last student loan! Then a week later on March 18th, I drove half an hour out of my city to adopt a cat and I love her and it was the best day of this year for me. Spring break is just beginning this weekend, but the attendance at the zoo is shockingly low this year. Apparently, a lot of people watch the news, and they’re all taking precautions about social distancing. I wasn’t too disappointed. Fewer people at the zoo, the easier my job is for me. I was looking forward to getting some free overtime on spring break, since I’m broke after paying off that loan, and I’m a cat parent now and have a furry child to feed. Monday rolls around. My manager calls me and tells me that the zoo is going into lockdown until further notice. I worry for the birds I take care of, but understand it’s for everyone’s safety.

For two months I sleep in and watch way too much YouTube. I join a couple writing discords. I have nightmares about my birds escaping their enclosure and I dreamed one of the security guards I really like at the zoo gets covid and has to go to the ER. I woke up really upset.

I started and finished BBS for the first time. I also replayed and finished KH2 final mix for the first time. It had been about 5 years since I last played KH2 before my PS2 died, and it was like coming home~ I also finished tearaway, and played and beat Ryme for a second time (which I can’t remember if I did that last year, but it was a fun experience regardless)

Mid-June, and I’m allowed to start going back to work, be it on reduced hours. The zoo is still closed to the public, but I’m loving it! I get to work with full-time keepers and do full-time keeper things. It’s so much fun not having to deal with the public. August starts to creep up and there’s a rumor that the zoo will be opening to the public again, which I’m not stoked about. I don’t want to go back to standing in one exhibit all day, talking to guests who don’t listen to the rules or to me. 2 of my younger coworkers (who had both only been there a couple of months) get chosen for full-time positions, while I get passed up which really pisses me off. My other 2 coworkers quit when they think we might be reopening because they cannot risk catching the virus due to at-risk family. I am now the last keeper in the interactive bird exhibit.

I keep working, the zoo slowly opens, but with me as the only interpreter in our interactive bird exhibit, we can’t open because I can’t run the entire exhibit by myself. So my exhibit stays closed. September comes and goes, and then October starts. Now there is more serious talk of opening my exhibit before the end of the year because the zoo expects to bring in larger crowds for the Christmas lights event in November/December. I ask if I get hazard pay or health insurance since I’m doing full-time hours until they hire more staff. They say no.

I immediately start searching for a new job feeling incredibly indignant/hurt/slighted/insulted/used/abused/ALL the negative feelings at my job. I had been there for 4 years, but never got a chance to work full time, while the two newest hires who had only been there 2 months both got moved up. I can’t help but feel they were holding one mistake I made two years ago against me and never wanted to give me a chance. (that, or they knew I was reliable when it came to showing up for work in such a volatile position that sees a lot of new faces, and they didn’t want to bother going through the process of hiring someone new) I don’t want to risk my life working around guests who don’t wash their hands and don’t properly distance. I don’t want to gamble with my health when they won’t offer me health insurance because I’m part time.

Mid October, I get an interview for a full time job and get hired on the spot. I peace out at the zoo 2 weeks later, literally 3 days before they planned to open my exhibit to the public. It was a close call for me to escape before they opened to the public (and pettiness was only partially the reason I dipped out so close to opening). Sorry new hires who are now in charge of the bird feeding exhibit. I taught you the best I could in the short time I had. If the managers are struggling with what to do with one less person, I can’t say I feel bad. I can only hope they delayed opening/closed you down again for your own safety. You are not lightbulbs. I really hope the higher ups stop considering you as replaceable as one. Will I go back to the zoo to visit? Probably. But not for a year at least.

I started my new job the very next day after I quit the zoo, and have been there ever since, (which isn’t that long yet, tbh. Christmas day was my 2 month anniversary). It’s full time, but it’s also a small business, and everyone’s hours this year have been on the short side due to the plague. I understand, though. They don’t want us to work if they can’t afford to pay us. Everyone is nice enough, though some people smoke and it’s hard to avoid them with how frequently we have to go in and out, and I really don’t want to get lung cancer, sorry not sorry, please and thank you. Also, with such a small team, gossip is certainly harder to go undetected, so it’s a relief knowing people don’t talk behind one another’s backs.

I participated and beat my 4th nanowrimo in a row, I made TWO apple crisps on thanksgiving, and made baklava on Christmas and both of these recipes were my first time making them, and they both came out adequately! I voted the first day of early voting, and I did an art trade/collab with two of my friends for my birthday! (normally we would have done monthly “art days” where we get together and do art projects for fun because we’re adults and we can spend our time together however we want, but the plague said otherwise this year) We drew pokemon and it was fun! (hopefully I can show you all the results soon. At the time of writing, I’m still waiting for the last two colored parts to get back to me)

I reached 100 pages on my undertale comic, and finish the first arc out of…! (im not sure. It’s either going to be 4 or 5, I haven’t decided yet)

Over all, I managed to stay healthy as far as I know. I wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be this year, but then again, who was? (don’t answer that. I don’t need that kind of comparison in my life right now)

Will 2021be any better? Honestly? I don’t think so. Not right away, at least. Just because a new year is about to start does not mean the slate is completely wiped clean. The change of the calendar year doesn’t magically make all our current problems disappear. Covid will still be here and cases will still climb when January starts. Small business will still be strained when the month rolls over, police will still go on murdering innocent civilians and getting away scot free, amazon and disney will still be monopolizing all consumer goods and media, and I can’t help but feel like there’s an impending shit show about to go down on inauguration day. I do hope things will get better, though. It’ll be arduous and unpleasant, but I do hope things will improve, because sometimes hoping is all you can do.

Good night.

#long post #new year's resolutions #year review #year retrospective

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