#anyways i needed to get these thoughts out of my system

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

[brother-emperors]

I was reading a footnote to Themistius' Brotherly Love Oration and ended up doing a quick painting of Seleucus II Callinicus while looking all these people up

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!

[beelikestoread]

so i’ve been listening to guess by charli xcx on repeat as one does, and the part ‘you wanna put ‘em in your mouth, pull ‘em all down south?’ has sent me on a downward spiral thinking about san….

a lil bit of choi san x reader smut under the cut 🙈

specifically riding san into oblivion on your couch with his favorite pair of your underwear (that you wore on purpose tonight to celebrate being reunited after spending one too many weeks apart) stuffed in his mouth.

it’s not like either one of you needed to keep it down, just one of the many perks of you having your very own apartment was that you and your boyfriend could fuck each other’s brains out as loudly as you wanted to without disturbing anyone. you’d learned early on that thankfully not even the neighbors could hear anything through the walls.

but there was something about the way he was panting up at you…mouth agape as loud, needy moans poured out of him. paired with the way his sweat slicked hair was half covering his dark eyes that locked right into yours shining with pure want and desperation-

you hadn’t even realized you’d grabbed the flimsy bit of white cotton with little cherries printed all over it and one delicate silk bow along the top (what could he say, choi san was a simple man with simple tastes when it came to your undergarments) that had been carelessly tossed aside until you were balling it up in your first and shoving it into his open mouth. his eyes widening in shock at the same moment his hips faulted their pace, but the moment was over before it even began. his head suddenly rolling backwards to rest against the back of the couch, his eyes fluttering shut almost immediately, long lashes kissing the very tops of his high cheekbones as he let out a long drawn out groan of appreciation. the sound muffled around the wad of fabric in his mouth. he didn’t need words to tell you to keep moving your hips against his- the tight grip of his hands in the flesh of your ass was all the encouragement you needed as you rocked yourself against him as deeply as you could.

you don’t think he’s ever looked so beautiful as he does in this moment all fucked out beneath you. tendons straining against his thick neck, strangled sounds of pleasure desperate to escape his mouth that’s still engulfed with your panties. you can feel his cock positively throbbing inside you and you can’t help but let out a breathless little laugh at just how fucking good you feel, how fucking good he feels-your nails digging deeper into his broad shoulders in an attempt to steady yourself when the very tip of him suddenly brushes against the very end of you…

does he end up cumming almost embarrassingly quick? yes. is that pair of your underwear still missing to this day? also yes. but you have a pretty good idea as to where they might’ve gone…

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

[tcfactory]

Okay smartass how would you fix Bingqiu if you had your way?

If you actually want to know you could do to be less of a rude little shit about it, anon, but all right.

This is not about 'fixing' anything. Bingqiu is a wildly popular ship and a lot of people enjoy the exact kind of delusional insanity these two have about each other and that's honestly great. Love it for them. Not my cup of tea though.

I think the easiest and fastest way to make them sort their shit out and maybe put them in a position where I might actually be interested in what's going on with them is to take the protagonist halo away. Maybe the System short circuits, maybe it just gets automatically turned off after the extras, don't know don't care.

A lot of Shen Qingqiu's self delusions are fueled by his unshakeable belief that Luo Binghe, being The Protagonist, is Perfectly Fine the way he is. Binghe is the Protagonist, so when there are no character development or obligatory angst events going on he is happy and healthy and a slightly charred good boy and Shen Qingqiu is The Happy Wife who dotes on his hubby and Everything Is Right In The World. Endless honeymoon with their responsibilities only coming to bother them every once in a while. And it makes it way too easy for Binghe to cover up that he's still hurt, still unstable and still insecure by what went down because Shen Qingqiu is willing to take him at face value when he presents his insecurities as just being shameless neediness for his husband. Of course he happily indulges Binghe! But that isn't really helping with the core of the problem now, does it?

Like, Binghe takes steps towards ensuring Shen Qingqiu's mental wellbeing even at the cost of his own as soon as Maigu Ridge is over when he takes him back to the sect. Shen Qingqiu tries too, in his own way (the entire segment in the tombs is all about him putting himself in very real danger for Binghe's sake) but at the same time, this is a guy who completely missed the writing on the wall that Bingge was deeply unhappy in PIDW. As long as he can hold onto his internal picture that The Protagonist Suffered A Lot But He Is Fine Now I don't think he can really offer the right kind of emotional support for Binghe to actually heal from what happened to him and move on to a healthier frame of mind.

If you take the protagonist halo away, then first of all Binghe can, you know, suck a little. Or a lot, actually. The world not making excuses for him and him being a little defanged would be good for him. He gets really nothing he actually wants from being the protagonist - Shen Qingqiu will love him anyway. Mobei-jun will still stick around to back him up and help him out, because he's still Shang Qinghua's favorite fictional son and Qinghua is happy to see Binghe happy, just, you know, somewhere way over there where he can't get jealous tsundere over Cucumber bro and maybe murder him about it. Sha Hualing is still going to be his buddy because he's her best source of human trivia and the writing inspiration for her girlfriend. Not having to be demon emperor and getting more time to spend with his husband would be a relief.

But he would have to be more aware of other people because he's not above them anymore. Maybe even forced to make a few new friends to get by. And his mask will fail and Shen Qingqiu will have to see him for what he is: just Luo Binghe, still hurt and still confused half demon, who loves him very much, but can't make sense of him and is afraid that he will be left behind or pushed away without explanation again and that's kinda Shen Qingqiu's own damn fault.

And Shen Qingqiu can't hold onto his delusions about The Protagonist. He can't willfully ignore that things are not fine with Binghe because he's not the Protagonist anymore and the world only allows that special privilege for the Protagonist. Binghe is just a guy now and he has so many heart demons he needs help with. His trauma from the abyss or Xin Mo can't be brushed off with 'oh that's just part of his blackening he's fine now' anymore. And it might need a little bit of adjusting to internalize that these problems have always been here just below the surface, but Shen Qingqiu genuinely loves Binghe and would want to help him become happier and more stable in any way he can.

Binghe becoming part of the world in a way that's one person among many - building a support network! maybe befriending new demons or actually getting to know and making up with the QJ disciples or finding common ground with LQG and becoming sparring buddies - rather than a protagonist in a sea of NPCs is a lot more interesting to me than whatever he has going on at the end of canon. And Shen Qingqiu can be there with him on that journey, because he already started unlearning the sense of unreality the System conditioned into him, but he still has a long way to go.

[elftwink]

have to work on a project today and an unrelated thing happened that just made me so so so so so mad (just some irl personal stuff), which normally derails my entire day because i find it so hard to come out of the angry/upset state and tend to just circle back and obsess over whatever triggered it but! today after 20 minutes of that i had a council meeting about it (<- what i call my decision making process) the outcome of which was putting it aside (!!!) for later when i could actually talk about it and resolve it (!!!) & in the meantime we could just do other stuff.

local man exuberant and jubilated to achieve feats of basic emotional self-regulation and was seen excitedly telling reporters he "never thought this day would come" and began giving a thank you speech to nobody in particular. more on this story as it develops

[starryluminary]

Oh my FUCKING God Saw VI was so good. Oh my GOD that might of been the best Saw so far oooohhhhh my God

[icewindandboringhorror]

If you became super rich and could design your own house, but could only add THREE unnecessary/random/expensive home additions (like how people will have bowling alleys, movie theatres, closets with museums of shoes, car display rooms, spa rooms, wine cellars, etc. in their mansions) - what three would you choose?

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

[butchkaramazov]

thinking about how i love murakami’s writing & narrative style, the way he subtly catches the reader’s attention etc etc & and at the same time despise the way he writes women & sex scenes. thinking about how i’m starting to appreciate him while hating the misogyny in his writing, & simultaneously recognising how his culture & upbringing played a major role in forming his misogynistic views & also understanding that he's a man before he's a writer &c &c........

[forgotten-daydreamer]

vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.

[thatgirlonstage]

Thinking through the logical conclusions of lore that the source material has clearly not thought that deeply about can be annoying or depressing in the sense of seeing exactly how deep the plot holes go but so long as it doesn’t inherently break the suspension of disbelief or ruin your enjoyment of the overall story it can be really fun to figure out what you can use to plug the holes. Like that’s just free real estate now baby. If the lore implies X but the story wound up at Z, then you can make the journey through Y be whatever you want it to be

[purpleshadow-star]

I'm watching this girls review/talk about all of the Percy Jackson books, and tbh I've never seen someone with so little media literary. She's turning me into a Jason Grace defender, and I don't even care for Jason that much.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Look, you know how sometimes a relationship isn't toxic, isn't unhappy, actually you're pretty comfortable where you're at, but looking forwards you can tell that it's not going to be healthy or fulfulling long term and that it would be better to call it quits now and stay amicable exes, rather than letting it go on and actually become toxic and miserable? And how making that adult, rational, objectively correct choice still kind of feels like shit and for years later you look back at that relationship and go, "yeah, but what if?"

That's me with academia. I broke up with the Academy on purpose, but fuck if I don't miss it desperately every goddamn day of my life.

[bunnihearted]

girl seriously read up on some emotional intelligence. this self loathing angsty shit is NOT CUTE! the only men you are attracting are ones that will take advantage of you. you should be comfortable alone!! you are the catch!!

im confused bc im not trying to be cute for u....? im venting... and if u dont think that or who i am is cute then that just means we're different ppl. like when i see someone be self loathing and angsty i dont think mean thoughts abt them, idk my brain just isnt wired to be irritated w ppl for what i think is "living incorrectly". also i do read sm, i read abt everything bc the psychiatric system wont help me even when i've contacted them once a month now for 8 months. but no matter how much i read i cant rewire my brain. plussss loneliness affects and damages your psyche.... thats a real thing actually 🥴 anyway... whatever i didnt know what to say to this so i just started rambling.. my bad 🧍🏻‍♀️

[transsexula]

Liberals and leftists need to stop making the mistake of generalizing when we speak about Jewish people, zionists, and the acts of terror perpetuated against Palestinians.

There's a post going around that generally speaks of protesting at synagogues. Without giving context, we don't know the specific protest they are talking about is a protest movement that followed a touring illegal auction preformed by zionist Israelis who were selling stolen land.

I'm not here to speculate or fight about OPs intentions by making their post. This isn't even entirely about THAT post. It's just one that really solidified for me this problem, the problem being our biggest issue in the movement.

Lumping every Jewish person in with zionists. This is a continuing act of zionist terror. Jewish people, as a whole, are not fucking responsible for what a small settler state is doing. Many Jewish people are actively fighting against zionist campaigns. Creating posts that have this narrative (Example being the protesting outside a synagouge post. What synagouge? Any synagouge?) Only creates blurred, hazy areas where antisemites feel comfortable making themselves at home.

As someone who's been far more IRL recently, I've been, let's call it, mistaken for a Jewish person. I wear a pentagram. Not everyone seems to know what a pentagram is. In fact, I've almost been assaulted by someone who thought my pentagram was a star of David. I've been verbally harassed by others who have had the same misconception about simply what religion I follow.

Yall motherfuckers will go on and on about how we need to understand that not all Muslims, not all hijabi, not all(insert group often targeted in the US due to political termoil and fear mongering) but so few of you will stop to recognize that Jewish people need the same advocacy. We need better sense as a community around how we treat groups of people. If we lump every Jewish person, every synagouge, together into one evil pile........ how are we better than zionists in their rhetoric? How can we do the same thing to Jewish people that we've protested against for others?

We cannot allow the flourishing of antisemitism within these spaces.