#anyways. many feelings and thoughts and everything thank u 4 reading this if u are I’m giving u a hug

[asmallcafethatslove]

There is so much to unpack from this message I got from an online uni friend (whom I have never met and we just reconnected after ages of not talking)

[sohnric]

SUGAR TALK — S. JAEYUN

pairing: jake x fem! reader

genre: childhood friends to lovers au, vacation au, summer au, fluff. a tinge of first love au. jake and the reader discussing their feelings. shy jake (somebody protect him)

wc: 1.7k

warnings: swearing, a sexual joke :(

a/n: thank u @csenke my beloved for beta reading and hyping me up into posting this i owe you my whole entire LIFE. also lowkey fuck u for dragging me into yet another fandom. anyways my enhablr debut :)) kinda nervous.... pls be nice or else ill cry

A midsummer night in Italy reveals many things you and Jake managed to hide over the course of your friendship—all over a quarrel about ice cream.

“Is it good?” you ask, pointing towards the ice lolly in Jake’s mouth, your legs propped up against the wall right next to where his back is resting. You’re currently laying on the floor– because the heat in Italy makes it unbearable to sprawl on the bed during summer, just the blankets laying under you being enough to make your body flood with sweat. 

“I asked you if you wanted it,” he grunts, taking his eyes off his phone screen and gazing at you through the hair falling into his forehead and shielding his vision, “and you said no.” 

“Okay, and? I’m not asking to have it, I’m just asking you if it’s good–”

“So you don’t want a taste, yeah?” he challenges you. A second of silence passes by as the two of you stare at each other wordlessly before he sighs, right as you open your mouth and utter out your next comment.

“I mean, you can just give me a taste, it wouldn’t hurt you–”

“I’m not sharing my ice cream with you,” your childhood best friend says, shaking his head at your greediness. 

“Why not? I was generous enough to let you have the last one, so you may as well share it with me in this terrible, terrible heat–”

“I’m not letting you lick my ice cream, that’s disgusting,” he mumbles. That comment is enough to have you snicker out loud– because even though you and Jake aren’t teenagers anymore, your brain is still somehow stuck in the age where everything sounds like a sexual innuendo to you– but you manage to make the situation even worse when you let out your next comment, shocking the boy.

“You’re saying that as if it’s the first time we would be exchanging saliva.”

Jake almost chokes on the ice cream, nervously licking his lips. You and him have been childhood friends– with your parents being in the same friend group since high school, it was only natural for them to want their children to be each other’s safe haven as well. And it worked, for the most part– you could never imagine a better person to grow up with than Sim Jake, the energetic boy that lived just down the street from you– but that doesn’t mean you and him don’t have your fair share of memories you rarely talk about.

One of them being you kissing Jake when you got drunk for the first time. You just turned seventeen and although your parents were mostly understanding of your bad life choices, showing up home after underage drinking still wasn’t the wisest idea, and so Jake convinced both of your parents that you were staying over at his friend Sunghoon’s house instead. That boy can be really convincing when he tries to, and with the phone calls done and the fake arrangements in place, you two spent the night together in the nearby park.

In your drunken state, you managed to say a sentence that stayed in his mind to this day and haunted him on some nights: “You’re too pretty. I could honestly kiss you right now,” said slurred and with a voice tired– and without asking for his thoughts on the matter, you leaned in and just followed your gut. 

He kissed you back a few moments later– messy and uncoordinated– and although young Jake wanted to talk about the matter while it was still at hand, you fell asleep in his lap on the top of a skating ramp shortly after, leaving him dazed and confused, watching over you until the sun rose.

It’s now 4 years later, and somehow, you thought that bringing it up on a family trip to Italy– in the middle of the night, sitting on the cold tile floor of your shared hotel room– was the best time to talk about it.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t remember it,” you joke, watching the boy get a little red in his cheeks. “I was the drunk one and I remember, so there’s no way you don’t.”

Jake gulps down the ice cream melting in his mouth, averting his gaze from you completely. “I mean, it was my first kiss. Of course I remember.”

The moment the words escape his mouth, you feel like cotton was stuffed into your ears and the whole world stopped spinning. Your throat goes dry and you momentarily panic– you had no idea that you technically took your friend’s kiss virginity until now. Guilt washes you over– because what if he wanted to save it for someone else? Someone more worthy, someone he liked? What if he wasn't ready? You made that decision for him, and suddenly, you feel insanely bad– wishing that the ground would swallow you alive.

“So that’s why you were such a bad kisser–” you say instead, trying to act nonchalant– to which you earn yourself a kick to your side, having the boy laugh in embarrassment.

“Hey! It’s not my fault you caught me unprepared,” he says, shaking his head at you.

“Well, for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry,” you hum in all seriousness. Now is your time to avert your gaze from the boy, pointing your eyes towards your legs resting up against the wall. There is a moment of silence following your sincere words, and just when you think the situation got too awkward to continue talking about the incident– which is why you never really brought it up in the first place– Jake speaks up again, breaking the quiet atmosphere of the hotel room.

“For what?” he asks, genuinely curious. 

“For kissing you without asking,” you say, furrowing your brows. “It was selfish of me. Had I known it was your first kiss, I wouldn’t steal it all for myself,” you snicker, feeling a little shy.

“Oh,” he hums just before you hear him laugh airly at your words. “I mean… I enjoyed it.”

“Did you?” you ask, allowing yourself to look back at the boy– noticing the softness of his eyes when he watches you, something in the air tensing, but making you feel like you’re floating, light. “Because you seemed pretty frightened back then.”

“That’s because I was embarrassed,” he explains, laughing. “I had a huge crush on you back then, so it was kind of a big deal for me,” he hums, a tint of pink appearing on the tips of his cheekbones, eyes glimmering a little in the low light of the room.

Now is your time to let out a dead-pan “Oh,” the shock of the new information still settling into you. With how long you’ve known Sim Jake, you thought you could read him like an open book– easily and clearly. Most of the time, you were really in tune with his emotions and thoughts, you could predict what his opinion would be on most things and how he’d feel about certain situations– leaving you checking in with him whenever you sensed he’d be down but wouldn’t outright tell you to your face. But maybe you were wrong to believe this assumption– maybe you couldn’t read your best friend as much as you thought you could. 

Because you would’ve never thought of this being a reality. 

“You didn’t know? I thought you knew, but you didn’t want it to be awkward between us so you didn’t mention it,” he laughs, taking in the situation with much more lightness now, seeing how affected you are by the simple confession. This is not how you imagined this conversation to go.

“No?!” you exclaim, baffled. “How the fuck would I know?”

“Now come on, Y/N,” he sighs, shaking his head at you in disbelief, “I invited you to prom. I think that might have been a clear sign that something was going on,” he snickers before he continues munching on his ice cream. After speaking the fact into existence, Jake seems to be less nervous about the topic– approaching it with almost utmost nonchalance, leaving you space to process with panicked thoughts instead.

“I thought you invited me because you had no one else to invite,” you said, blinking slowly as if rebooting your brain.

“You thought I had no one else to invite?” he laughs, now in disbelief at your words. “I was cute in high school, thank you very much. You think no one else would wanna go with me?” 

“Okay, don’t get all cocky on me now,” you grunt, huffing and pointing your eyes towards the ceiling.

Your brain takes on the challenge of projecting every single memory of Jake and your high school self together, seeing all those situations with much different eyes. You remember telling your friends about how sweet of a guy Jake always was– carrying your stuff for you, helping you with your Science homework, walking you home after your tutoring, buying you lunch– ‘any girl would be so lucky to date him!’. Your little advertisements never worked out, though, because your best friend never really cared about any other girl in the first place.

Now you kind of see why. And it leaves you wondering– are the late night calls you two shared when you’re away at university really just two friends missing each other? Does he get overly-protective over you because he wants to take care of you, or is it jealousy? That one time he called you ‘his girl’, was it perhaps something deeper that you missed?

“Are we talking past tense, though?” you hear yourself speaking out, and you don’t know why you’re suddenly holding your breath.

When you look at Jake, the popsicle is in his mouth and his brows are raised in question. Thinking he’s confused, you ask again. “Or do you still have a crush on me?” 

The boy chokes a little on the ice cream, making you laugh at his animated response. His cheeks grow deep red, and he seems to be avoiding your gaze. Now, you’re no expert at body language, but if you were asked, you’d say this was a telling sign. 

“You know what? Just keep the ice cream,” he says instead, the sweet, cold treat levitating in front of your lips now. Satisfied, with butterflies fluttering in your stomach and your fingertips tingling when they come in contact with his skin around the wooden stick, you take the popsicle into your mouth with the knowledge that you won. 

Mid-july, melting into the hardwood floor of your Italian hotel room, you feel like there is something within your storyline that is slowly coming full circle. Maybe after years of denial, you’re finally going to face the feelings left unsaid.

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

the last chapter for walking study in demonology was CRAZYYY im so happy you updated. im so curious about what your thought process in writing it and if youre willing to share?? you dont have to if you dont want to btw! but in any case thank u so muchhh

hey thank you! appreciate it

okay super long answer below

honestly this one was difficult. idk if its bc its been a while since i write fics from scratch so i might have forgotten how difficult the whole thing is, but this one was tough. ch 8 wasnt from scratch tho cos i had the drafts since like 2022 or smthg lol

ik the formatting is non conventional in ch 8 and i was aware that itd be hard to read for some people. but i do think abt the readers often when i write.. mainly not what the readers want in terms of storyline (altho ofc i consider this too sometimes lol) but what the reading experience will be like for them.

i.e consider if id written the chapter in a linear, traditional way and narrated the confrontation between 1-A and LoV (or even other wackier “Villains” like godzilla and invading aliens or whatever). the truth is, although def easier to read, that version will be very boring.

(i know bc i tried and scrapped those versions.)

(im sure a better writer can write it interestingly but i am not a better writer.)

the thing w writing these traditional fight scenes is tht im sure — im 1000% positive in fact — that the readers have read it before. there r literally thousands and thousands of bnha fics out there with great fight scenes, on top of the actual manga, where youve read these characters fight their assorted villains. why would i make you read that again, esp when i know i cant do it better? i already know the readers r just gonna skim the chapter if thats the case. ive been a reader, ik what fic fatigue is like — esp with bnha when everythings been rehashed infinity times in infinity different ways.

same thing also applies with even the “metaness” of the fic itself.

i dont want the fic to come off like its talking down to readers, whom i believe alrdy have the instinctual knowledge of what the fic is trying to do. im willing to bet tht the readers have read something similar to this before, like multiverses n time loop n meta stuff, also cosmic horror. i still end up narrating some things even though often i feel im being too explanatory. i jst feel like the readers will know what im talking abt by virtue of their familiarity to the tropes involved.

therefore the least i can do is serve it in an interesting way, aka the fuckass formatting. like although the tropes im doing r done so many times before, at the very least i cld let the readers hopefully have fun by piecing it together puzzle-style with the fragmented formats — so its more of an experience thing rather than jst a lore dump. i dont like lore dumps, they can be condescending.

demonology def doesnt succeed in avoiding that however. in fact its fallen to that exact trap. ch 4 and 6, those r very lore-dumpy. i tried to make it fun w the humor dialogue style but its not perfect. i know tht by ch 8 that tricks alrdy old, and the readers have all the puzzle pieces at this point anyway so itd be even more repetitive than it alrdy is. even so i still feel im being too explanatory esp with the emotional arcs but thats a skill issue on my part

overall i feel demon can be more oblique and “elegant” in its mechanics.

but anyway, it IS crack… it was never meant to promise intelligence, least of all eloquence lmfao. its never meant to be taken seriously.

of course, at this point u can tell that i actually am taking it pretty seriously LOL. i never meant to write meta fiction. i have some gripes w it, namely that i feel meta fiction is used by weaker writers as a storytelling crutch n it can come off as lazy — demon is guilty of this too. but now that i end up writing meta fiction, i might as well fucking commit and try to push it as crazy as i can. if its not gonna be good, at least it can be interesting, or weird.

blah blah im yapping. point is, ik the end product might look very “random” and pastiche as if i was jst doing whatever i wanted … which, true … but it went thru a lot of trials and errors until this final version. you would not believe the amount of time ive rewritten this chapter, due to all those ^ considerations.

however i always knew i was going to start ch8 with the classic mary sue “fanfiction” — that segment was written a long time ago like in 2022/2023?? and mostly stayed unedited since, unlike the rest of the fic which i stripped and repainted and restripped again lol

ok thanks for reading abt my wack anime crack fic writing process that, again, shld not be taken seriously. i will admit however that i do put a lot of effort n heart into it so i cannot pretend i am aloof and disaffected. id be lying if i say its been easy. i consider it a miracle i updated at all. i keep saying its not meant to be taken serious but if i managed to make it even a little bit meaningful, id be very happy.

ah also. bnha ending actually forced me to scrap a lot of things too. but it kinda ends up for the better, maybe.

[suddencolds]

sending u a star!! ⭐️ sorry i wanted to go thru and pick a specific fic but im too sleepy lol but any yvescent piece u had thoughts on :D

[from Fanfic Writers - Director's Cut]

hello!!! THANK YOU N, IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO RECEIVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹

I also realize am responding to this like 2 months late :') I thought for a long time on which fic to comment on, and now that I've posted Atypical Occurrence pt. 2, I thought I might as well write out my thoughts on it while they're still fresh and bc it's close to my heart (I hope that's okay hehe)

—

⚠️❗️ Warning that I will be attaching snippets from my deleted drafts below!! Please read the published installment before you proceed to read this post. This is a little embarrassing... all I can say is that those drafts were deleted for a reason 🥴

—

There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment. 

I rewrote this scene... 3 or 4 times? It gave me sooo much trouble 😭 I think in the first draft Vincent actually tears up tasting Yves's cooking. (I know, Vincent, I want Yves to cook for me too 😭❗️)

Terrible (ugh 😭) first draft screenshot under the cut (screenshot = old draft, indented quote = current draft):

(Yves pulling up a chair at the end... you can tell he is totally at a loss on what to do 😭 and I, too, was at a loss on what to do)

I wrote this ^, and I was like... this moment just feels unearned? I personally despise outlining + I love going in (mostly) blind. Sometimes the first draft works out of the box, and in this case, the first draft (and the second draft, and the third draft) were all soooo bad that I literally had to take a month-long break to regain my confidence 😭

Anyways! I knew right away that Y was going to cook something for V (it's mentioned here and there throughout the series that he is a really good cook 😭 And in part 3 of Fool Me Twice, Yves promises to make Vincent something more ambitious than hot chocolate. He's finally kept his promise now, 12 installments later 🙇‍♀️ )

From draft 2, there was only one scene which I was sure I was going to include in the final draft, aka, spared from the recycling bin. (But I just checked the final draft and it's nowhere to be seen?? Interesting.)

I would have managed fine on my own.

On this (deleted) scene, and more broadly: I think it's important to me that Yves recognizes that Vincent is self-sufficient in many ways: when Vincent says he will be fine alone, he is telling the truth. Yves doesn't have to stay—he recognizes this too, when he heads for the door in the published draft.

Still, Yves stays, of course—initially, because he insists, and later, because Vincent asks :)

“…You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question. Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.

It was really, really fun writing the differences between caretaker!Vincent (in Fool Me Twice pt. 5) and caretaker!Yves 😊 I usually don't like to say too much on the end of character analysis, bc I like my work to be interpreted as it is: the text is canon, and everything I'm saying here is just me yapping on about my headcanons. (I have been roasted for saying this by a dear friend of mine, probably rightfully so:)

With that disclaimer: Vincent to me (I can only speculate, etc) is a very no-bullshit caretaker (he likes to enforce whatever will lead most directly to the person's recovery; he actually worries a lot, but his worry often manifests as frustration/snappishness), whereas Yves is a lot more permissive and, for the most part, manages his stress—he is the eldest sibling, after all! I think he does what he can to make it a more tolerable experience :)

“So this is just a Yves thing.” “What? Showing consideration for my friends?”  “Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.” “I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.” “Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.” Yves supposes this is true.

Vincent takes things very literally (and I think he's actually quite aware of the social niceties around these kinds of things, which is in part why he is so skeptical to assume that Yves means anything more.)

There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging. Yves goes very still. When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned.  “Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”

This scene means a lot to me!! It took a loooot of editing to hammer into place (the doc I wrote it on is titled "fixing this scene would FIX ME" haha). I think this is the first time Vincent has actively sought out Yves's comfort 😭 And he regrets it almost as soon as he's said it, because he does not do things without a good justification, and wanting something—even wanting it badly—does not feel like a sufficient justification to him. But give Yves an inch and he will take a mile!! He will take a hundred miles!! That is just the kind of person that Yves is.

I was talking with some friends previously about how I wanted to write Vincent reaching out for Yves. How I wanted Vincent to, through the haze of fever, cross a line that he'd previously not allowed himself to cross :') I think it is a time-old trope to have someone, in their feverish delirium, utter something embarrassing and utterly uncharacteristic of them, or divulge something that has been difficult for them to say.

This whole time drafting, I was thinking, how can I set up a moment like that and have it feel earned? How badly would he have to be feeling? What kind of setup would justify getting past his 590859 mental defenses? (I do not like to outline, but sometimes I do have an emotional beat that I have in mind, and then I have to work backwards to figure out the setup. This took SO much working back from, and I really thought about it for very long). I was almost sure that Vincent would regret it immediately after too 😭

Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”

Ahh, so Y offering V a hug is inspired by a fic I read 6 years ago, where a character offers another a hug as a joke and then the other character surprises them by taking it. Yves is really offering here, but I think he recognizes that joking about it will make it easier for Vincent to accept 😭

Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.

I have nothing to say about this paragraph except that I edited it for like 40 minutes straight.

Last thing!!

“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows.”

The scene near the end (where Vincent tells Yves about his childhood) is actually the scene which came the most easily to me. I also did not write it last; I jumped around. It took me around 1.5 hours. (By comparison, simply editing the scene before it took 11 😵‍💫)

I did always intend for Vincent to disclose... well, /something/ about himself. (You can tell that when I plan, that's really as far as I plan LOL)

Anyways, when Vincent wakes Yves up (after Yves falls asleep at his desk), I initially wrote it so that Yves wakes Vincent from a nightmare.

But (as direct a link to vulnerability as that might have been,) Vincent would not talk about his nightmare 😭 So I switched gears.

I also specifically wanted to write about Vincent's experience being cared for growing up. I think something that's culturally resonant with me (as an Asian American, and the eldest daughter to immigrant parents) is like, the ways families can and cannot say I love you—the quiet things that are done in place of a more direct expression of it. The way that while unspoken consideration can speak volumes, it can just as easily be invisible. But even now, writing this post, I feel like it's difficult for me to untangle the feelings and experiences I've had into something that feels sufficiently multifaceted.

Vincent has a different childhood from I do (it is probably worth noting that I do not project onto any of my characters, nor do I use them as a vessel to get my own experiences across). I think I'm just drawn to writing tricky/non-straightforward expressions of love, in general :) Sometimes that is the kind of love that resonates with me most.

[loserlvrss]

🌵🍓🥤🛼

— ☆ such a real one for answering thank u <3

1. 🌵: share the link to a playlist you love probs gotta be my everyday one it’s so chaotic ‘n just like me $5 fortnite card

2. 🍓: how did you get into writing fanfiction? okay, so my ex-bsf wrote fanfics about teen wolf & the vampire diaries franchise YEARSSSS ago, so i would actually edit her books bc ive always been writing original stories. but eventually during COVID i thought i’d start writing original character fanfics on wattpad about the mcyt fandom bc i was bored (mistakes were made okay i know) & enhypen’s jay. but i lost motivation to write full-length stories after a couple years, so i naturally branched back over to tumblr/ao3 to post one shots; reader inserts do better on here so that’s why they’re all y/n

3. 🥤: recommend an author or fanfic you love oh there’s so many authors i love so i just gotta make a small list me thinks cccc: @gluion fic req safe haven (how much longer do we have?) leehan x reader apocalypse!au angst. @hoonven anything by mimi i eat up one of my fav enha authors ily <333 honorable mention laundry and taxes sunghoon x reader fluff & angst. @jnnul ‘s nouvelle vague leehan x reader college!au fluff, angst, smut, & comedy. @kimakento my bae everything is so good honorable mention im hurting, but that’s okay koga yudai x reader rich-student!au crazy angst (my fav genre) & so this is how it feels wang yixiang x reader x koga yudai hanahaki!au, angst. anything by @boyfhee gaawwwd esp now that i’m back in an enhypen phase oh em gee. anything by @nicholasluvbot i love saur saur much. @joocomics NEVAAAA misses mark my words laawwd i love xdh. anyways, the list could literally never end bc i read so much on here, so yeah let’s stop while we’re ahead lmfao

4. 🛼: describe your latest wip with five emojis 📸😼🐈‍⬛👠🍷hehe might be titled 90s supermodel idk thoughhhh

- soph 𓆤

[torawro]

the way i’m slowly and extremely gradually treating my blog like my diary or just like….instagram or something is becoming increasingly concerning to me by the day. i just post and rb a bunch of stuff that i like or supporting other creators on here or screaming about my thoughts (that have so much range by the way). uncontrollable venting under the cut .

TLDR -> i am in my feelings and im feeling sad and wallowing in self loathing things because i want to write so so bad all the time but there are so many other factors discourage me from doing so, like im not good enough because i don’t publish things enough, & not many people read anything i write anyway

<\3

i really am trying not to hate myself because another 2-ish months have passed since the last time i have posted a fic, but it is so so hard not to. SO HARD. mutuals are doing kinktober events left, right and center, other moots post fics and blurbs as easy as sending a 5 sentence text and here i am. envious of them all. rereading and proofreading and staring at the same drafts i have had in my google docs for weeks. months, even!

i just get discouraged coming on here sometimes. it’s not that i don’t have the motivation to write because i do— i really do. i have so so many ideas that i want to share with everyone and my writing style keeps evolving and it makes me want to experiment with different tropes with my favs and see how well i can execute them. but the actual doing it….finding the time and trying to balance is just :( sob. it’s hard.

i internally cringe and silently scold myself at the wips i have and remembering how at the time i created them i was so excited to write them but then never finished for one reason or another. abandoned series make me sad :/ i feel guilt when people talk to me about how much they liked a headcanon i did and how i promised to expand on it, or multichap series i only posted the prologue and first chapter over a year ago. guilt bc i want to write everything but just can’t and i’m still struggling to accept that.

and in the process of struggling with this fact it turns into a self loathing cycle that then turns into disappointment when interactions on my writing pieces are low and have become stagnant, and the pieces are 4+ months old or something, and it’s like will i become irrelevant if i don’t post something soon? i have nothing new to offer at the moment, all the ideas im excited about and i have a feeling people will like im still working on or in the brainstorming phase so im like what do i do? idk. then i just close the app.

don’t even get me started on how admiration at just how good other people write makes me feel awful about my own writing…..

anyway sorry for boring you with my feelings but yeah :,) maybe i should stop being so hard on myself

if u read this far then….wow. thanks for listening 🤍

[teadrop-12]

I really love the headcanons they're honestly so spot-on and very fun to read through if its not too much can I have hcs from you of my girl Dos🙏🙏🙏

YYESSS MY BELOVEDDD OMG omg u already know a lot of hcs n u made me have a lot more so ty 4 that omg

right off the bat. does not get along with kids. either that. or she is the cool mom to them. but her experience with every kid in the show says otherwise

her real name is MAYBE Dahlia.

bi. 100% bi, with a preference for women

terrible at math but good at everything else

when i said shes bi i mean like. kinda stereotypical bi. with like the leather jackets and also falling head over heels with a woman at first sight but it takes her months to actually start to like a guy

like. i adore acaiberry right.

and rizdos

but u know how dos went and infiltrated MATA and Bakar tried to flirt with her n like she was uninterested. what if like she ran into the most ethereal woman ever (geetha,,maybe i dunno,,,,just a suggestion,,,)

and that just causes her to almost fail the entire mission because of ONE OLD ASS LESBIAN

well geetha isnt that much older than her bc shes like,,,the same age as rizwan?? apparently?? but this isnt about her

owns a motorcycle. much cooler than rizwan's, like its got purple lightning on it and stuff.

if i was to compare her to a toh character shes like eda and lilith combined. like she takes wildly unnecessary risks but also completely stoic and unwavering at some.

but really she also reminds me of elle from tlou2

has a lot of jewelery, just rarely wears it

i said before she is not good with kids but her skills at makeup and being fucking awesome are what get her by. like she can get any kid to like makeup and motorcycles in three hours

really close with trez, again, thanks to you bella i have this headcanon. but like hes like her brother, maybe they grew up together?

she brags about being in a band but really she was only in it for a month (girlfailure)

never really caring unless its someone she knows like family, like MAYBE Trez, Rizwan is an exception

either she doesn't like music or she listens to heavy metal, but like with her partner she'd have their own music taste in her playlists and stuff

whoo time for some cringe dark heartwrenching headcanons!!

when she was in the numeros she was unknowingly cloned because before rizwan she was the strongest of the numeros. but that backfired bc it turned out to be a child.

and im not saying who that is because bella you know this headcanon all too well and no one else can know until i've fleshed out everything but a hint is she was homeless until MATA

like the clone ran away when she thought she'd be terminated and thats why she was homeless.

genuinely cries a lot when she thinks of losing people she loves. like she'd go in private and cry her eyes out and come back like nothing happened

when she dated jenny she had a plan in the back of her head to run away with her and off the grid from the numeros.

we all know that can't happen now

shes been through so much shit as a kid and always thought she was so mature and that she should have been able to handle it so if she ever has her own like single or adopted or with someone i dunno, she would cry because she realized she was that small and innocent once and she didn't deserve that

i hate it here

i might be projecting

i dont even have this many headcanons for my spiky haired daughter

i might be projecting on this one a little but i also got this hc from a comic by catboymoments

anyways!! i think thats all for now but if i think of any more i'll add them ilysm bella also feel free to ask anything else!!

[jennifersminds]

I LOVE your writing, do you have any advice for new writers?

hello !!! thank you so much anon <333 truly means so much to me 🎀🩷

I’m definitely not the best person for advice because I (to my detriment - looking at you months long hiatus) I mostly wing it but there are a few things I think are good to keep in mind,

1. might seem stupid but have fun !! and remember that you’re writing for fun. Write fics because they excite you and they’re something you want to see. Don’t get caught up in the numbers and worrying about what people will think, I thought Plastic Crown would literally be read by like ten people max because it was so absurd but (and I’m so unbelievably grateful seriously everyone who enjoys that fic,, i love u, i would fight your enemies in a mcdonald’s parking lot) I was wrong.

I mean, take with a grain of salt since every fic I wrote is drowning in self indulgence but still. Fanfic is fun! So have fun with it.

2. Super hypocritical but storyboard !! I’m currently experiencing the worst fkn writers block because I didn’t and now i’m trying to get everything planned before I update lmao

Another thing that saved me and actually got me stared in writing was my notes app. i’d put excerpts from fics I was reading that I felt really captured the vibe I wanted to create between or within characters. Random pieces of dialogue. details and just vague prompts and it’s a lifesaver.

3. Going back to point one kinda, try not to compare your fics to other people’s. That goes for Stats, reviews, writing styles, all of it. It’s pointless, fic is totally subjective and everyone’s gonna have their own vibe so just stick to working on yours.

4. Try and make stuff for your fic, seriously Pinterest boards, collages, gif sets, spotify playlists. Build up the world you wanna write about so it’s something that you feel you can just step into. Make it visceral and exciting even if it’s just exciting to you.

5. have like a drink or something that you associate with writing, for me it’s pink monster energy but for the sake of your heart maybe pick something different. like tea or anything not drowning in vague chemicals and caffeine. Can be anything like a candle, a playlist, just something to get in the vibe.

6. Talk about your fics, friends are a lifesaver in fandom, I cannot tell you how many times @vorpalmuchness and @katherineholmes have helped me figure something out just by letting my talk at them until something clicks. Vorpal in particular has suffered through that many many times (ily bestie ty for the face times)

7. and finally, write badly. seriously, just word vomit into a google doc if you’re struggling. Atleast then you have a jumping off point. It’s so rarely going to be a slam dunk on your first try so just,, do it. Get it out, get the vibe and run with it

Anyway, thank you so much for the ask anon. I hope atleast some of this helps xx

[cervideity]

YOUR IDEA ABOUT LINK HAVING DREAMS AS VIO IS SO COOL!!! IT'S SUCH A GOOD AND INTERESTING IDEA!!! I have to ask, how do you think Link feels when he wakes up from dreams where he's only one of his separate selves? How do dreams for Green, Red, and Blue tend to play out? Do they have dreams related to their trauma/personal baggage as well?

AWA THANK YOU GENUINELY UR FLATTERING ME.. i was struck by lightngihg. (inspiration, all at once.) Thank you for asking ! this inspired me to flesh out the idea more so here you go :]

Well my logic abt this is based in my own experiences, so id say Off the bat, disoriented. takes a bit to remember hes Link and not one of his parts. could take 5 to 25 minutes. yknow the kind of half asleepness where you dont know youre a person and everything that happened to dream you was Real. that. [perhaps he will seek relief in his companions, only to find them not there.]

if hes Jolted awake by maybe zelda or of his own volition (i can see the two sleeping in the same room for a while directly after the events of the manga. dont wanna lose track of one another n wanna take care of each other). the same but hed snap out of it faster. shed comfort him best she can and then theyd both get up and hang out for Realsies smile. based on what info we have on link im unsure if hed feel comfortable thinking about it too long. i think hed try to distract himself with training or talking with zelda or somethin before confronting that

anyways YEAH i think they would all have their own seprate nightmares, so links brain can process Everything that happened to all his parts. thats what dreams do, they help you file away memory, and links memory is going to be. pretty... fucked. it has to deal with 4 times the amount of information in a single span of time.

[i have a lot of ideas on link recovering (if he needs to) from re-fusion. but tthats for later. i dont really have a single interp its just a playground for me]

funny gif so u dont lose ur place reading. LOL.

some of these are more developed than the others. dw about it

green. i have a concept in my head of him and the others fighting ganon but they fall one by one until just green is left, i think i need to elaborate on that in my head... because of many events, i think green would get nightmares about the friends around him being controlled or secretly monsters.. or hurting a monster that was actually a friend. ahg.g.. grips my hands together so hard they turn white

i think red would have a great time in a nightmare specifically sporting that Fucking coffin, where he is all alone, knows internally (yknow when dreams do that? you dont see it happen you just Know) that all his friends are fucking dead. and he doesnt have his gear. and hes maybee in the temple of darkness and the spooky monsters know hes there and though they arent here yet its just a matter of time. and he needs to sit there and wait to die. because red cant fight back! hes the weakest link! (untrue these are his own thoughts) theres no one to save him, or even die with. he failed. (imagine him with that hopeless depressed expression he makes you know the one)

blue .... i honestly think The Cave on its own is a pretty good nightmare scenario for blue. an enemy you cant touch. a state where you cant move. (blue is a very physical person)........ maybe dreams where hes strapped down to a table or cant move or otherwise in a claustrophoic space. doesnt gotta be freezing just anything to represent paralysis. cuz that happened to him several times. maybe he can watch someone hurt his companions while hes stuck. (thinking of the several green+vio dying scares)

vio.let. this nightmare is the most specific because i saw it in my head before i came up with possible ideas. this dream is meant to process shadows death among other things, so i think itd be reoccuring. It starts with him wandering an empty hyrule castle. he doesnt cast a shadow. hes completely and utterly alone. He wanders room to room. Theres the idea that theres Something wrong in the back of his head. the dream could end here, or it could desend into nightmare territory, he stumbles into a long confusing maze of mirrors. he cant look anywhere but at his reflection, but theres nothing to look at, theyre motionless silohettes. he cant focus he cant make the maze make sense he cant figure out how to escape and he keeps panicking more and more in an internal loop but he doesnt know whats wrong whatd he do ? the final scene is something i didnt draw unfortunately, he finds the room with the dark mirror. his throat goes dry for a reason he doesnt know. he subconciously moves closer. its only the frame. he can step right through it. a portal to nowhere. usually the full weight of the situation clicks Right here and link jolts awake with tears in his eyes.

link also has nightmares where he Isnt these guys and is himself and those ones tend to be what they all experienced. theres a lot of My Loved Ones Are In Danger and i Cant Do Shit. Someone getting injured on his watch, being powerless in one way or another. Powerlessness is a running theme here, haha. I also think sometimes link would get fucked up dreams about being the one physically hurting innocent people. just to fuck with his idea of being a hero. :]

[dutchwinter]

On Letting Go! and mr DRUGS self titled (D.R.U.G.S. 2011)

i havent really super thought about olg in a while. do i have to do these in order.. hm. okay i will 1. kicking your crosses down. i dont have to say anything. ough.oughhh... 2. your friends are gone. no comment again. you have to get it right 3. travel hymn. this song is so satisfying to my brain... it came across like you were mad holding in your breath with everything you had until your face began to turn read < part that does crazy things to my body 4. on letting go. one time i listened to this song so many times in a row it made me dysphoric. insane music i want to drown in it. i can then die happy 5. semi constructive criticism. whenever i think of on letting go anthony is immediately in my head like 'LEAVE OUT MEANING THIS TIME' alsoo set your mental alarm.... if you think its safe to rely on.. crazy part of the song i love how it sounds. guitar so delicious in this damn album its crazy

the best album of all time miss drugs YAY [heart emoji] yay for drugs 1. mr owl ate my metal worm. this is just my favorite drugs song [or well..it was until hunger pangs came out] 2. my swagger has a first name. these titles all suck but i love this album so. anyway this is the best intro ever. and its a shame its not the most popular song on the album. 3. graveyard dancing. again does crazy things to my brain ... i love when a song is in 3/4 4. stop reading, start doing push ups. idk i dont have anything to say i just like it :] 5. sex life... probably... i have a couple others i could put here also but im just feeling sex life. it was the last song he played at the show it was awesome :] it made me lose my voice

YAAYY THANK U!!! ask game

[supercutszns]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

i loveee this omg i’ve gotten this ask a few times thank u all sm i love u☹️☹️ i’ve only published like 7 pieces of writing on here so far so i’ll also be pulling stuff from my wp (jackboxes) bc i’m proud of the stuff on there as well! also these r in no particular order lol

1. twin beads (luke castellan) | my most recent work on here, besties to lovers with a poseidon! reader & a sibling relationship with percy<3 i actually love this one so much😭😭 my favourite trope and there are lots of lines in here i love—the paragraph when luke’s lying next to reader and she’s talking abt how nostalgic he feels i love them i fear.

2. true colours (luke castellan) | daughter of iris! reader that loves to paint is petrified her friend doesn’t like her back. luke’s willing to prove that’s not the case. this is i think my most,,,popular fic on here??? which surprises me to this day??? of all the ones i’ve written i feel like this one got me to the most people which is fucking whack bc i thought i phoned this one in so hard lol. got a newfound appreciation for it once i saw how many ppl related to it, made me feel better bc reader is so mecoded too <3 she’s got some self-esteem issues and a weird knee but she sees the world in colour and she’s adorbs. i’m very happy this one is well loved

3. hellstorm (douxie casperan) | haven’t updated this one in a while unfortunately but this is a beloved wattpad fic💔 i love niche fandoms sorry! storm is just a fun character to write she is a wet feral cat and i love her dearly! i really need to continue this bc i have detailed lore planned and i just love found family. hellstorm my beloved

4. rotten to the touch (luke castellan) | really need the inspo to pick back up for this one but idk i just love horrible sexy people there’s really not much else to it. i would love to make this a full blown series but idk if i have it in me but im trying to work on a little blurb for them so hopefully that goes out

5. frostfire (avatar: the last airbender) | to be honest this is the closest thing to a magnum opus i have. started writing it four years ago still nowhere near finished. 26k reads. three main characters three love interests three separate plot lines. gays. grief. gruelling exposition. it’s so ass but means so much to me. my friend drew art of the characters. it’s been translated into spanish. people have found it through tiktok. it is not half as good as it could be but i love it so so dearly and is probably my favourite thing ever. i don’t care. it’s mine. i will finish it. i have to.

okayyy anyways that’s it i’m so deeply sorry for being so inactive my current romantic relationship is grinding to a slow halt so everything feels joyless and repulsive. but hopefully the more i try to write the better it’ll get i love u all

[nebulouscoffee]

Hey! I'm really sorry that life has been so rough lately, I'm keeping you in my thoughts 🙏 here are some things I'd love to hear your thoughts about, & feel free to make it as long & detailed as you want! 1/your favourite piece of Bajoran worldbuilding (from the show or from a fic you've read or from your own headcanons - you decide!); 2/your favourite type of alien clothing on any star trek (or single favourite alien outfit) & why you like it; 3/what your concept for Ben & Kasidy's child is: who they are, who they grow up to be, etc.; & finally, 4/your opinions about the clock Ben builds in "Dramatis personae". Here you go! Take care <3

... this is so incredibly sweet, thank you😭😭 I really truly appreciate it, as well as all of these Very interesting questions❤️❤️

Ahhh it's hard to pick, I love so much about Bajoran worldbuilding! First of all the non-linearity of their religion is SO COOL & mind-blowing to think about, & I really love the way it- by its very nature- allows you to re-contextualise so much of the show's lore. Like- is Joseph Sisko written into ancient Bajoran prophecies thanks to his non-linear affair with a Prophet?? Do those prophecies inform or influence traditional archetypes of love in Bajoran culture?? Did Kira grow up learning about an archetype of corporeal love based entirely on Joseph Sisko, the father of an alien man who would decades later become her boss??? I don't know!! But I can write fic about it!!! (And then not post it!!!🙈😂) I do headcanon that dominant Bajoran cultures all have strong archetypical figures, it just makes sense to me given their caste system & that "three brothers" story Kira tells Ben & just how much emphasis they as people place on roles and duty and their place in the world (and on their world). I also love the recurring theme that they greatly value (and like, listen to) their planet. They talk about Bajor like it's a living organism, one big ecosystem they are all a part of, and whenever there are floods, famines, earthquakes, etc, they pay attention, as if its a bug in the immune system- such an interesting contrast to Cardassia, where they plundered their own resources & then came for others. There's this whole collective spiritual (rather than strictly political or social) connectivity that I find very fascinating- something about Kira thinking of herself as simply an empty "vessel" to the powers that safeguard her planet & connect her to her fellow Bajorans. It makes me wonder about their large diaspora, & the sort of pain Bajorans like Ro may carry around over that forced separation. Oh, and that they have Fire Caves. Like those Fire Caves were really just hanging around the whole time huh. Also that Proper hasperat is apparently supposed to be made with a brine so strong your eyes water. So that's five things!

2. Garak's Watermelon Suit.

3.

Lol jk. Garak does have some fire 'fits tho (that red and black tunic with the embroidery? A Look🙌) Anyway,

2. I also think Lenara's purple formal dress was really pretty! And most of Quark's outfits are killer tbh. The detail!

Kira's dress from 'Fascination' was fun- and I like both Winn Adami costumes a lot, the vedek robes with the opera house hat & also the golden kai robes. Again, there's a lot of cool details (esp with that elliptical Bajoran symbol & patterned fabric which the 90s quality completely nukes.) Oh, and speaking of hats- all of Guinan's hats are iconic, and Jadzia's Klingon wedding dress was pretty cool too. Basically I am terrible at choosing things; I just now remembered Spock's Goth Chic robe from TMP and that reminded me SNW has been doing some really cool things with T'Pring's wardrobe-

3. The siskasidy baby!!! I have named this baby so many different things in post-canon fics lol, everything from Jennifer to Sarah to Jadzia ("Jazzy", or "Jazz" for short- I think this is my favourite, given how Avery Brooks seems to be irl about jazz.) I don't think I have any real headcanons about who they grow up to be (I'd love to hear any ideas you may have!) but I did come to terms with Ben missing out on their first year(s?) by imagining he sort of spiritually shares consciousness with several Bajorans over that time period (very much consensually, like this is an experience that allows these Bajorans to walk with the Prophets for a time & also enriches Ben's- and the Prophets'- understanding of Bajoran life) and these Bajorans befriend Kasidy & look out for her and the baby <3

4. Lmaooo I have SO many feelings about this clock. Like WHY did he build a CLOCK. *frantic strings across conspiracy board* I know, I know, the writers were probably just going for something random at the time, it was, at heart, a goofysilly s1 episode that easily could've been on TNG or VOY- but it really does become sort of mind-blowing when you consider it in the grander scheme of Ben's arc. Plus- they kept it in his office throughout the series!! They put it in JAKE'S HOME in the alternate 'Visitor' timeline!! I do think that episode implies their weird behaviours also came from somewhere within them (that's how I like to explain Kira Your-taste-in-men-frightens-me Nerys flirting with Weird Aliens Odo & Dax anyway😂), so I like to think Ben just has this deep ponderance of time & temporality just like. Sitting within him somewhere. The clock was actually from an ancient Gamma Quadrant civilisation whose memories possessed them all, but I still feel like that last shot where Ben sets off the timepiece he (for some reason) built from scratch and lets it tick was Symbolic somehow. Like- this man is part-Prophet!! He was conceived non-linearly his birth was arranged he was always meant to discover the Celestial Temple aka the path to- you guessed it- the Gamma Quadrant!! Something something Events Set In Motion

[matan4il]

Hello Alice,

it’s miya again :) I hope all has been well with you. I really loved your meta this week & it made me realize the reason I appreciate your analysis so much. You write about buddie but you write about them as buck AND eddie and not like they are one combined single unit. buck and eddie are their own people with different personalities and i think people forget that sometimes when it comes to talking about them together.

I love how the focus of your analysis was eddie and his clear childhood/adolescent trauma dealing with traditional parents who believe in only one way of doing things. I feel like people kinda missed that when talking about eddie & his performing. i know people interpreted the performing line as literal but it’s much deeper than that and you pointed that out very well. it all goes to show you we look at things through so many different lens but i love your focus point so much. you honestly make me want to get better at my own writing and analysis for this two lovers.

I wanted to ask you though on your thoughts about buck downplaying his brush with death. He never has explicitly said out loud “i died” & I do think that moments coming soon. I just found it interesting that everyone keeps reiterating that to him & i wonder if he’ll snap the next time someone says it. Buck has not processed or accepted that his trauma happened. him referring to him literally dying as “an accident on the job” breaks my heart cause you can tell he wants people to stop making a big deal of it, despite it being very serious. he is suppressing his trauma which i understand as someone with ptsd. anyways sorry for my rambling. buck is my favorite & character i connect to the most so i tend to babble a lot lol. hope you have a lovely rest of your day/evening/night whenever you see this ❤️

Miya, you darling! :D I'm always so happy to hear from you! I've had a very challenging week (which is not yet over... when you read this, I'll probably be recovering from another double shift), but the feedback on everything that I was most stressing out about has been amazing, so I'm exhausted, but very satisfied! How are you? Well, I hope!

Awww! Yes, that's exactly it! I think I even explained it in one of my earlier weekly meta posts, that I'll be writing about Buck, Eddie AND BuckandEddie. So I'm glad that's something you not only noticed, but also enjoy! ^u^ Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words! And I'm particularly please to learned you liked my POV on Eddie in my 614 meta. I know I've spoken to a very perceptive friend of mine back when... I think it was still s3 airing? Or possibly start of season 4, and despite how smart and insightful she is, she had missed the bit about Eddie's conversation with Bobby back in 217. So yeah, I think a lot of people might have? We all miss something, since 911 serves us with so much goodness. And I'm glad if in this case, this is something I can add to the table.

I fully agree with you, Buck is not really coping with what happened, given the fact that he's not yet said it out loud, and other characters have to remind him of it repeatedly. I also wondered this week if his PT scores being low is also a reflection of him still struggling with the lightning strike and how to recover from it. Because remember in 301, when he was coming back from the fire truck crushing his leg? He still aced his re-qualification exam. Even after he also suffered a pulmonary embolism during that very same period of time AND survived (and rescued others during) a tsunami, we never got any indication that his physical ability to bounce back had been diminished. So that suddenly changing? It could be a sign of the gravity of the matter, and how this is different, and Buck has to wrap his head around it, but because he hasn't yet, his full recovery is also stalling. I don't wanna get too much into spoilers, but based on the little that we do know about the finale, I feel like if this isn't addressed before the end of the season, then it should be in its very last ep. The themes seem like they would easily lend themselves to it, in any case. I hope that's what happens! If it also leads to some breakthrough with Eddie, one of them finally, finally ADMITTING what the other one means to them, I would be ecstatic, but I would absolutely take the win if we simply see Buck starting to actually face the trauma he had just been through.

Thank you again for your wonderful ask! I hope you're having a great day. As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[cubedmango]

NAINA. it’s the delusional cm anon here and ohmygod. It took me so long to come back because I had no strength in me to try and organise my thoughts into words that actually make sense I. Even now I can’t actually express my feelings about all of it to you without talking for years but can we please. Talk about the beach scene can we.please the way kurosawa so easily said that when adachi said he loved him his heart almost stopped and the fact that in the scene w his parents you could literally See his eyes change like something changed within him he almost passed out and then the way he just pulled out the ring and then. The most Fucking. Extra most Romantic proposal scene I have ever seen in my LIFE NAINA LIKE WHAT THE HELL? THE WAY THEY HELD EACH OTHER’S HANDS LIKE THEY WERE HOLDING THE MOST VALUABLE FRAGILE MATERIAL… THE WAY THEY THEY TURNED EACH OTHER’S HANDS OVER WITH THE LIGHT GLINTING OFF THE RINGS… THE WAY. THE KUROSAWA. THE WAY HE RUBBED HIS THUMB OVER ADACHI’S HAND I FEEL@SO UNBELIEVABLY SICK

CM ANON WELCOME BACK !! ALSO BIG MOOD i am just . i dont know how to express my emotions abt this movie in words its not possible . all i can do is scream. Literally. send help please

THE BEACH SCENE. LETS TALK ABT THE BEACH SCENE. BC I HAVE THOUGHTS . SO MANY OF THEM.

1. the magic

THE GROWTH . ADACHI HAD. him going from relying on his magic and being assertive thanks to it, to going from being glad he doesnt have it anymore and being assertive despite it is. . it is. Hello. how he went from knowing what to say bc he knew what ppl were thinking to how he spoke what he truly thought himself no matter what the person expects him to say is so. . . Hello!!!!! and its that determination in his own words and his own conviction that he could prove her wrong abt regretting it that got through to kurosawa's mom that i dont think wouldve worked had he read her mind and told her what she want to hear. Augh. augh........

2. the proposal

kurosawa was so happy to hear adachi loves him that his heart almost stopped ...... also what u said abt his eyes changing in the scene w his parents like Yeah.

ITS HITTING HIM. i dont know the like . terminology for it but those Tiny Changes In His Expression That Mean Everything To Me . mr machida sir can i send u a care package and flowers just for this scene. please

another thing about the proposal is that. there was nothing asked. no question of 'will u marry me' or anything like they just . They Know. but also because it didnt have to be asked? theyre already engaged?? the silent acknowledgement that the pengagement really Was the actual proposal, and this is just then making it official to the world once and for all without having to hide it anymore. im gonna chew glass

3. the rings

kurosawa had the box on him the entire time. rings for good luck, which maybe Did work ... but i think he intended on proposing no matter how their talk w his parents went?? just thinking about That. Ough. but how he presents them just like that ..... no grand speech. no big huge romantic gesture. just the deserted beach and two of them like...... he doesnt try so hard anymore to be perfect or cool and plan a whole proposal, he just thinks about how much adachi loves him enough to declare it to his parents and Goes For It, almost on impulse i feel like ? but like in a good way like he Knows this is the moment™️ for it. anyways that left me pretty unwell also so that was fun

4. the hands

every single word u said anon......... i have no words left to say abt the hands its just. the. the. Theyre. the. i thought the manga's whole hand kissing deal after the proposal had killed me but this. the tenderness. the lighting. the Rings. the fucking gentle thumb rubs.......... I Am Never Going To Recover On God

5. the 'i love you'

listen they muted it . And That Was Extremely Evil Of Them. but i know kurosawa said i love you. i know this. and that too he said so quietly adachi couldnt hear it at first, and then whispering it to him bc he wants only adachi to be able to hear it ........ rlly felt like we as the audience are like. Intruding upon smth incredibly sacred that we're not supposed to see or something . 10/10 scene though like adachi nodding and then kurosawas SMILE and HUG and him taking the fall (AND HIS FEET WHEN HE DOES . idk why but im obsessed w the way his shoe shows up on frame for a bit its just . its so silly. theyre so silly i love them)

6. the hands, part 2

GOD. THAT PARALLEL TO THE DRAMAS INTRO IM TOO WEAK FOR THIS ??????????? why would they Do that to me. the way all their hand movements are in sync..... the way theyre smiling as they look at the rings......... I am normal about this (not)

7. the sillies

please look at my new favorite shot of kurosawa of all time

HES SO GIDDY. HES SO HAPPY. HE IS SO SILLY!!!!!!!! mans measured adachi's ring size while he was Sleeping !!!!!!!!! where is the deleted scene of him sitting there at like 2 am with a thread in his hand and quietly trying to measure it !!!!! I Demand This !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ADACHI TOO ????? HES SO HAPPY ....... and how he knows what to expect from kurosawa by now like . this is the same guy who got so freaked out over kurosawa thinking abt his mole that he had to run away to the bathroom about it . but now just the plain and simple acceptance that Yeah. Kurosawa Is A Little Weird About His Love. And That Is Okay And Endearing And I Love That About Him that adachi shows here. ............. i am fine :)

ok thats it for beach scene thoughts. for now. but ill probably think of more stuff later as i slowly start to process this movie so like ......... look forward to it perhaps??? also anon pls if u have more thoughts abt the movie i would love to hear them too 👀 i need to talk abt it as much as possible its the only way i can cope

[rollercoasterwords]

*look away now if you don’t want spoilers for the feverwake series*

OKAY I OFFICIALLY FINISHED THE ELECTRIC HEIR and I have. so many thoughts about it and I don’t know where to start but!!!!!! Oh my god I have never been so stressed in my LIFE. I was VERY VERY convinced someone was gonna die AND WHEN NOAM STARTED TALKING ABOUT THE STUPID (lovely) FUCKING HOUSE AND THEIR STUPID (lovely) FUTURE LIFE!!!!!!!!!! RAE!!!!! The way I was SCREAMING. Because I was just like “okay, well he’s dead now isn’t he 😐” BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS WHEN A CHARACTER SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT THEY THEN DIE!!!!! so I was BEGGING him to shut! up! And then!! Then! When Dara started talking about how HE really wanted that life too….. and how he actually wanted to LIVE now…….. really did think they were building up to tear one of them away from me AND I WAS IN ABSOLUTE AGONY 🤡 so the actual ending was a nice breathe of relief oh my god. Although!!!!! Little bit stressed that leher isn’t actually dead…….. or locked up? They didn’t really clarify and I feel. A lot of fear about that actually. It makes my skin CRAWL to think about… which I guess is maybe the point? It’s a happy ending technically but there’s still that little nagging uncomfortableness in your brain lingering after the last page bc YOU DONT KNOW. Which is actually so insane of the author if that was intentional I AM OBSESSED WITH THAT.

Anyway! Final review! I had a very very fun time with this (pain + stress + fucked up plots + moral complexity + politics are my favourite story ingredients so I went so so so incredibly insane for this <33). I literally have NO WORDS for it I just. !!!!!!!!!!!!. I feel like my guts have been scooped out. Rearranged. And I just need to…. Lie here for a bit. And rest…

I just. There were so many scenes and lines that left me TORN OPEN, I am utterly OBSESSED with the writers writing style!!!! Everything was so clever and intense and HEARTWRENCHING and I really enjoyed the refugee politics and discussions about consent and SA and power imbalances and just. IT WAS SO SO SO GOOD THANK U FOR RECOMMENDING IT I am now going to go crawl under my blanket and be consumed by my thoughts xoxoxoxo

ahhhh hello THANK u 4 giving me the final thoughts!!! i understand the stress whenever a character in a dangerous situation starts talking about their future i'm like no aha don't do that....haven't u read a book....watched a movie, perhaps....

and UGH dara's arc in the second book. like the way he starts the story literally walking to his death and then ends it fighting for his life....makes me crazyinsane every time i read it i love that boy!! and i was also relieved by the happy ending lol tbf i do think i would have enjoyed a bit of death but it was like being wrapped up in a nice warm blanket at the end so...can't complain

anyway SO happy u enjoyed xx have v much enjoyed getting to vicariously live the experience of reading the series 4 the first time thru u <3

[asahicore]

hi!!!!!!!!! hello, im actually so excited to write this cuz ive just read “our secret moments” and aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, first thing, ive to say is i remeber recommending dress by tswift as a perfect song for this AND OMG u did use it <3 im so happy !!!!

okay, but lets get down to business!!

1.i loved that we got an inside on heeseung and what he has been up to!! it was really wholesome to read his own “figuring out i like my sisters best friend”, it was so cute and his overall makeover - that was fun to read!! also the bit of him meeting jake lmaoo that made me laugh ^^ i can totally see that !!!

2.the "lets avoid him" trope was what i expected and it was exceeded perfectly !! like yes!! thank u !! also chaeyeong seeing right THROUGH yn was amazing, yeah gurl u aint slick !!! but thanks for making the dumbass (yn) confront hee tho!!! bless!!!

3. PLEASE THE WHOLE MOVIE NIGHT STUFF??????? i giggled and kicked my feet like a little girl, omg, it was so amazingly written i could feel everything !!!every heart fluttering moment was described so well!!! I WAS AMAZED!!! and hooked on the story even more!!!!! their talk “so dont” 2eojiwfndwqdsjekwdsnjfsd making out in the kitchen was a superior scene!!!!

4. their "sneaking around" was also so well narrated!!! car is THE SPOT !!! omg and the star gazing :((( making out in the backseat tho 🤭🤭🤭

5. the pool party tho………consider me dead cuz it was so good, I LOVED THAT SCENE too, i mean..shirtless hee?? being playful in the pool? making heart eyes?? going on the slide with yn? kissing her THIGH?? MAMMA MIA !! :OO, toooooooooooo goooooooooooood 

6. ngl the fact that yn didnt tell Seeun the truth when she asked had me "oh NOO this is bad innit?" i knew this was not gonna end well whyyyyyy, i mean i get why cuz she was scared BUT :(((( 

7. and for the BIGGEST JAW DROPPING MOMENT OF THE FIC WHICH I READ LIKE THIS :OOOO,  the bedroom/shower scene HOLY FATHER AND THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!!! I ASCENDED… the dry humping  was so fucking hot,i mean , the idea itself BUT THE WAY U WROTE IT i was wowed and also they were so cute and heeseung IS THE BIGEEST SIMP EVER in a good way like his thoughts on not knowing what to do but doing what makes yn feel good……………………….god me when!!! REALLY IT WAS AMAZING!! THE SHOWER THO like i melted cuz of the whole "we can stay in our swim suit bby" was so adorable :((  AND THEY ACCIDENTAL I LOVE U I DIED I WAS NOT READY AND THEN IT GOT SO STEAMY??????????? HELLO??? I DIED SO MANY TIMES ALREADY LORD (emma) HAVE MERCY, it was too good, I swear to god them just wanting to make the other person feel good was and is the hottest concept and u made it CHIEF'S KISSES!!!!!! doll >>>>>>>>> ,

8. and then they were cuties again :(((( the morning scene had me melting i'm literally a puddle of fluff on the floor !!! let me walk u to the door and kiss u goodbye OH THIS IS NOT GOOOD GUYS !!! ABORT ABORT!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. ,............................ Seeun :(((( please the last scene broke my heart even though i know it was gonna happen, im so sad mann, i hope they gonna figure it out cuz if this has a sad ending then i will still read but my heart would never recover ANYWAY the way hee grabbed her but she just push him ->>>> emotional damage

UFFFFFFFFFFFF, THIS WAS 24K WORDS OF PURE MASTERPIECE, I ENJOYED EVERY BIT OF THIS, THANK U THANK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 It was so with the wait !!!! i'm so seriously in love with this !!! thank u sm for the time and work and everything that put into this it was MESMERIZING!!! the details and descriptions emma. ure insane, i swear u just so amazing!!! kissing ur brain URE THE BEST What the frick

emma i love u!! this made my weekend, i hope u gonna have a great week <3333 all the best ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ps. this is so long im sorry :>

ANOOOOOOON !!!!! dont apologize omg receiving asks like these are the absolute best, i was smiling like an idiot and punching my pillows reading this thank you so so much !!! and omg thank you again for the song rec, it went so perfectly with the story!!

im glad u liked heeseung's part!! since gorgeous was all in reader's pov i thought it'd be nice to see how heeseung was feeling and have his backstory and all that... and yes jake hahaha he was really fun to write about

no cause thank god for chaeyeong otherwise these two idiots would probably still be stuck in their awkward phase 😭

AAAH movie night scene omg im so happy u enjoyed it !! i had kind of a hard time writing it cause i felt like it needed a lot of tiny details ugh so reading this is such a relief!! same for the pool party at first i had noooo idea how i was gonna write it lmao

im so glad u liked the smut part omg for some reason these are the scenes im always most unsure of !! but yeah these two are so sweet like they just want to make the other happy BUT AAAAH TY SO SO MUCH IM SO GLAD IT MADE U REACT THAT WAY 😭😭

and ikkkk yk how it is we needed at least a little bit of angst but yes dont worry i will give them a happy ending !!! which honestly i feel like is more realistic than a bad ending.. seeun and yn just need to talk things through 🥰

anon i seriously cannot thank u enough for this <333 ur the one who made my weekend !!!! when i receive asks like yours it makes me really happy to have started writing and posting on here :)) i appreciate u sm and love u too and hope u have a lovely rest of ur weekend!!!!<3333