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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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I decided to watch the Walker pilot so you don’t have to. #1

I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I’m doing this and the more I put it off the less I’ll want to do this. So. Let’s start.

The fist thing we see is Jared Padalecki, em Walker, driving. He’s vaguely smiling and there’s the sun behind him. He seems happy. He’s driving a truck, for some reason my mind goes to Twilight. I’d rather watch that. At least there are vampires (not dressed like clowns) there. Anyway. Walker is meeting someone. He’s meeting his wife! “Look at you!” she says. The camera makes us look at him. He looks like this

I am unsure whether we’re supposed to see this as sexy or cool. It looks frankly ridiculous. I don’t know if I’m just not American enough to appreciate the aesthetic of this. But I didn’t go through 15 seasons of Americana-in-British-Columbia for nothing. If a character appeared like this on Supernatural, it wouldn’t be presented seriously. It would be played for a chuckle or in a light-hearted way at least. Not even Dean Winchester would find this hot.

The Padaleckis tell something to each other. Apparently he needs to go home with the kids and his parents because it’s game night. My mind immediately goes to Game Night the episode and I am sad now. But Walker lifts my mood in its own weird way. He doesn’t know the rules because every time she tells him the rules, he blacks out. I would make a fun quip about this, but the truth is that I relate to him a lot right now because I blacked out during the entire scene. I’m not sure what they said other than the game thing because I wrote it here. I already forgot the rest.

Anyway. What we’re supposed to get from this scene that they’re Very In Love (see that soft warm light?), and that he’s anxious because he’s not great at being a father because he’s shit at games apparently, but his wife is like ~don’t worry so much~ because she’s a kind, understanding wife. He tells her to be safe, because the Texan countryside is dangerous or something. She needs to stay on a route he approved for some reason. Is she traveling with supersoldier serum in her car? Is Hydra going to murder her? [cue the Marvel snipers shooting me to death because they don’t want Marvel to be associated to this]

Later, everyone is having fun playing fake monopoly, but Walker (whose mannerism is just Jared, he’s not even trying) is apparently too stupid to understand a game for kids. Plot twist, this is anti-cop propaganda because it says cops are dumb.

“Et tu Brute” Jared says when the kids point out he broke a rule so they get an extra turn. I thought I was safe from hearing Jared speak Latin! I thought I was safe! I am never safe!

Emily (Gen) suddenly texts him “SOS. Answer” which is OMINOUS! Oh my god! Aren’t you feeling the tension. The rest of the family keeps playing fake monopoly. Someone throws dice. Are we supposed to go “oh! The dice are ~symbolic because someone’s playing dice with her life” or have I been watching too much good tv.

She is running somewhere in the countryside, wearing a white shirt (is this the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown?). She says something is not right. He’s worried. Then he hears gunshot and her scream. He does the Alarmed Jared face, presses lips together and does a Upset Jared face.

Then he goes out, tries to call her again, and again, does a Jared Upset Sniff--

Oh! We actually see her! She’s alive, but she’s been shot in the stomach. Her white shirt is definitely the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown! Ah the blood coming from the stomach! How terrible! Her phone is ringing but she cannot reach it. She is definitely alive right now, though. She’s breathing heavily because of the wound, which is breathing, which is the opposite of being dead.

He decides that she’s dead, and lets out the already infamous manly scream of anguish.

It would be sad if it wasn’t that literally one second ago we saw her wounded but alive. Her turning out alive in the season finale or so will shock everyone. Nobody will have seen it coming. Who wrote this? They should have just shown the ringing phone and her bloody hand/side, making the audience assume she was dead, instead of showing her breathing. Now the audience is gonna assume she didn’t actually die, and wonder “why didn’t he call someone or went looking for her” but apparently Jared’s characters have forgotten that, like, ambulances are a thing. Jared’s manly screams of anguish are more important than common sense.

I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m n

We’re just 4 minutes in, guys. Why am I doing this?

Eleven months later, says the screen.

It’s night, outside a house. The son is waiting for him. The daughter doesn’t think he’s coming. On the porch there are two men, one is his brother and one is apparently his former partner, now new boss. He’s dressed like you’d expect a normal person to be dressed in a casual Texan night, hat and tie and all. If you are law enforcement in Texas and don’t wear a cowboy hat at any moment, you will be executed. That’s what the death penalty in Texas is for.

Somebody arrives, but to the kids’ disappointment is some dude whose function is to tell us the men’s names. The brother is Liam, the cop dude I forgot.

Walker is being sad on the back of his truck and drinking alcohol, which is the only way television can express a man having trauma. Holy shit - he reminisces of his wife like this is some emotional Lord of the Rings scene in a place where Elves live except this is not the Lord of the Rings and is just ridiculous, look

She’s seen running towards the gazebo, then she turns

This is exactly shot like the scene where Arwen has a vision of her son. Flowy hair and all. I cannot take this seriously.

He smiles sadly. Then a cop car arrives.

Mexican Lady Cop(TM), whose function in the story is to be a Mexican Lady Cop(TM) asks for his licence since he’s drinking alcohol in a public place.

“You ask so nicely” drunk Walker says. Ew. “Yeah, they train the girls special” Oh! Can you see? She is the Feminist Icon who Takes No Shit from the Dude! I’m so excited. I am slowly losing the will to live.

She drives him home on the police car. His legs don’t fit. At least this is realistic.

He does exposition in the car, including “I needed to visit a ghost instead”. There-there was no need to say it. What’s the demographic they’re aiming for? Five year olds? Do they have to spell everything out loud?

“It’s been a while since I had an actual conversation” he says, which supposedly explains why he’s making awkward exposition, but it’s just bad writing. At least they acknowledge it’s bad writing.

She figures he’s law enforcement coming back from an undercover mission from some drunken ramble he makes. This is worse than the Sherlock phone cable port thing.

She says she just got promoted from state trooper, ehe she will work with him wink wink nudge nudge. Is she going to be a cop-buddy-character slash love interest except when they’re almost about to realize they’re into each other, his wife comes back and draa~ama? I can already see it.

He goes home, makes some Jared grunts, and falls asleep on the couch.

Next morning, he goes out and jogs to where he left the truck. He puts on a cowboy hat which is supposed to be an artistic shot.

I’m slowly dying. He makes some Jared Deep Breaths, at least this made me laugh.

Wait, he’s now wearing a black hat. He’s in mourning, see? What.

He drives to his father’s ranch. His father is Super Not Impressed. It’s awkward. They took about horses. Mitch Pileggi is thinking that at least the other show was more exciting and there was Jensen Ackles in it.

He gets into his parents’ house and the dogs run to him, he does the Jared Dog Chuckle. He hugs his mom. He hugs his son - “August, my boy!” he says, like a normal person his age says.

He hugs his brother and they joke-wrestle and he says “I’m still the big brother” and did I mention I’m dying inside. I just can tell this is SUPPOSED to be reminiscent of Dean and Sam’s first meeting at Stanford in the pilot except Jared is the big brother now. Ew.

We learn that the brother is a DA and gay. All pilots suffer from Forced Exposition Syndrome but it’s like this isn’t even trying.

He goes to work and hugs (very manly hug of course) his friend-now-boss, who is called James. James asks him if he’s good and he’s like yeah I’m good, which our I’m Fine Lie Moment #1. Some things never change.

Enter the case of the week - a cop offered roadside assistance but he was assaulted. We’re already starting with a “Oh No Poor Cop :( Someone Doesn’t Like Cops And Gets Violent” plot. Yay.

Ta-da! Mexican Lady Cop appears, cowboy hat and all. James says she’s Walker’s new partner. My heart cries while Walker says “figured you’d be a guy” and she replies “so did my mom”. The feminism is so strong :’) She’s such a strong female character :’) I’m so happy :’)

Then Walker makes such a quintessential Jared thing with his mouth that I need to stop this here and take a break.

It’s been 13 minutes. So much still to go. I’m bored. Why am I doing this.

#cw's jared: legit texan #marghe watches walker for some darned reason

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tedturneriscrazy · 3 years

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Here's Eclipse Lake, an episode that has been highly anticipated! Will it top Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door?

I'll skip the pretense: No. It won't.

You'll see under the cut.

Hmm, that list of ingredients for the Grimwalker...I'll let other people theorize about this (like @sepublic ), but it sure looks like a thing

Guess the mysterious green goo won't cut it, huh?

Belos face reveal already?! Huh, didn't expect it so soon.

Oh, no, he's hot! (And I'm mad about it)

Still an ass, though

Now we know why Hunter was wearing a different outfit (because people fixated on that for some reason)

Amity with the clipboard gives me strong Dipper vibes

GHOST! My beloved!

I need a moment because CAT!

(Also, someone pointed out earlier that Ghost was based on Dana's cat, and that's super obvious in hindsight)

Raine?! Oh, wait, you mean rain. Sigh.

Eda gets training tips from DBZ confirmed

(Also Amity's face when reacting to Eda's explanation is priceless)

Oh God Eda's a weeb I need another moment

Damn, Amity just straight up calling Eda old

Oh, loopy Luz

(The abomination holding the tissue box is adorable for many reasons)

Yeah, don't want Luz to eat the McGuffin

I have several questions about those Tamagotchis that I'll refrain from listing here

Amity your Odalia is showing

Girlfriend counter: 1

(Yes I am introducing a counting gag, deal with it)

Was wondering if they were ever gonna reference the dissection incident. We've come a long way, baby!

Oh, so that's what everyone was looking at

Luz honey your enthusiasm is admirable but no

Luz burrito is quite cute, though

Girlfriend counter: 2

(Damn, still wild to think that that's the case)

Just occurred to me that "Boots" is probably shortened from "Bossyboots" from earlier

Guess the Luz hiss compilation needs to be updated again

Those tunnels ain't the only thing around here that's unstable, amirite?

Oops, guess Kiki was justified, after all

Maybe don't talk so loudly about your plans, dude

That is her son, get it right!

Serves you right for having that stupid strand of hair sticking out like that

Is this just the episode where everyone dunks on White Boy? Because I can totally get behind that.

Already mentioned this, but I am loving the parallels between Katara and Amity with that bottle of abomination goo. Insert obligatory "Two Nickels" meme here about Mae Whitman.

We really are just dunking on the white boy and I am living for it

Hooty had to get it from somewhere, I suppose

Nothing says mother-son bonding like shooting things at each other (see also: Separate Tides)

I'm sure the magic bouncing off the veins won't come into play later at all

Oh well, at least the echolocation looked cool

At this point Amity would kill Hunter for a Klondike bar

Wait why does Hooty need a chair

Willow with the galaxy brain ideas

"A bad but sad boy" Luz is a genius at succinctly summing people up

Kikimora continues to be unhinged. Ironically she's not wrong about Hunter.

Motherfucker stop acting like you know what that says

(Also, projecting much?)

Girlfriend counter: 3

Friendly reminder that Hunter is still an antagonist

Uh oh

UH OH

I know someone mentioned Willow having the brain cell, but honestly it seemed like Luz had it this whole time. And that's not good.

WHY IS FOOL'S BLOOD EVEN A THING

Aaaaand cue the getting screwed over

Further reminder that he's still an antagonist (Apparently there's a vocal segment who's Really Mad at him that seem to forget this fact)

You unhand Ghost right now!! And Amity too, I guess.

(I kid, she's literally my second favorite character)

For what she did to Raine it warms my heart to know Kiki has had zero peace of mind

Wait, the Abomatons are Transformers?! Okay, that's kind of awesome, actually. Alador might be a shit dad but he is a brilliant inventor.

Chucking kids off cliffs is a surpisingly common pastime in the Boiling Isles

Owlbert no!

Eda did spend literal decades fighting the Owl Beast within, so I guess she can't be blamed for not thinking to talk to it

Also hurry up guys I'm very concerned about Owlbert

Fuck yeah Harpy Milf!

Yay Ghost returns!

She's glad they're okay (I didn't need to take this, I just thought it was cute. Also this is surprisingly high quality considering I just took a photo of my TV screen)

Oh, so they do have video games in the Demon Realm. That or Luz introduced them.

Trailer shot!

Oh dear, we about to have a fight over the key

Wow, being so high ranking under Belos is really bad for mental health

Jesus Christ Belos what have you been putting in this poor kid's head?

Leave it to King to give radical recontextualizations

Amity, I'm glad you remembered/realized this about Luz, please don't let the sad white boy play you like that again

Also, I appreciate the gesture you're making, and it's a wonderful summary of your character development, but goddamnit he's gonna go for that key because he's STILL AN ANTAGONIST

"Being nice usually works for Luz!" A) Not always, and B) Amity I love you but Luz you are not. A valiant attempt nonetheless.

Ooh, cool fight scene!

Always lovely to see such superb animation

I was privately griping about not seeing Amity use magic for so long, and now I am fed

Don't think I didn't hear the glass breaking

Appreciate your ass from a hole in the ground, Golden Boy!

(jk I don't actually feel that strongly about him still. That kind of threat still isn't cool, though)

Oh so that's why it's the Common Mold!

It's kinda cute, actually. Or maybe it's just because it's Luz.

TIL Hooty is heat resistant

Apparently Owl Beast just wanted a snack

Girlfriend counter: 4

Also love how calling Amity her awesome girlfriend is literally the first thing Luz says to her upon returning.

Yesssss return the hug! You deserve it!

(I know there are higher quality versions of this screenshot, I just didn't feel like looking around)

King demands huggies, too! (And gets 'em)

Reminder that Amity is smart as hell. I knew that glass breaking indicated something!

So once again I've been had. I let the fandom trick me into thinking this episode would be way more intense. Guess that one screenshot was from the next episode.

Overall this was...fine. Some nice Lumity moments, Harpy Eda strutting her stuff, that gorgeously animated fight sequence; those were all lovely.

I do wish Willow and Gus had a bit more to do. And I'm still rather unenthusiastic about Hunter, to be honest. I've seen his type several times before, and the path they have for him is rather obvious. I may never share the fandom's love for him, and I guess I'll have to deal with that.

Anybody who says this was better than KKKOHD is a damn fool.

Mid season finale next week! I think Yesterday's Lie will finally bring the pain!

#the owl house #amity blight #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #king clawthorne #toh hooty #willow park #gus porter #emperor belos #toh hunter #toh ghost #kikimora #toh s2 spoilers #the owl house s2 spoilers #the owl house season 2 spoilers #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers

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tsuki-sennin · 3 years

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Hey, Revice fans... Happy Jeanne Debut Day~!

Spoilers, I guess...

-YOU TELL ME GEORGE, CAUSE FROM YOUR FREAK OUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU MADE IT!

-Well of course the main Rider's not gonna have their death stick, Vice! The hell do you think this is, Kabuto!?

-Oh c'mon Vice, don't mock the poor girl.

-Yeah that's right! Trip!

-Oh, you can just... conjure Vistamps?

-I may be misremembering, but I don't really think that Ikki counts as "more people".

-Oh, that's a spicy purple.

-I wonder what kind of extremely marketable character Sakura's inner demon is?

-Ah, a scrapped concept? Somebody's been digging through your trash then.

-Ewwwwwww, it divides. Why does it make that noise!?

-Yep, you're gonna die thinking like that, Counselor Man. Nobody can take the place of Gifu-sama.

-Anxiety really do be like that. :(

-Ikki-nii, you gotta digest a bit before you go running off like that! At least do some stretches!

-Aguilera-sama coming in with the drip, we stan :pray emoji: :fire emoji: :100 emoji:

-OH WOW, THAT'S

Not good. That's immensely fucked up

-I guess it's a callback to Golgom tried to prepare Kotaro and Nobuhiko for Century/Creation Kinghood since birth, but like... considering Aguilera's apparently engaged to Gifu this makes me think about things I... really don't wanna think about.

-Is this really the time, Hiromicchi? I mean, I feel for you, lots of us've been there, but there's a whole ass army of skeleton dudes and a creepy counselor guy!

-Huh... you didn't have anyone there for you, so you choose to be someone who'd always be there to fight and protect those who don't have anyone. That's... wonderful of you, why do you keep impressing me?

-Tertiary Rider Gang Rise Up.

-Hyper Muteki Sakura, pass it on

-There's a good big brother right there :)

-C'mon, Sakura-chan~! Show those hell freaks what for!

-Oh, so trying to create a nightmare chimera hellspawn demon Rider Spider-Man results in getting booted out of the transformation! Good to know~! If I had to see Demons Entire Goddamn Animal Kingdom Genomes so early in the show, the CGI alone would've been its own nightmare.

-Lot of POV shots this season, I noticed.

-Wolf Man and Squid Devil are joining the battle, I see!

-Okay, whatever I may end up feeling about Revice by the end of the season, this is a good goddamn scene right here, but I'm sure as to whether or not I like it. The lighting is absolutely gorgeous, I love the quiet underscoring soundtrack, it's a really good raw character moment from someone I've been rooting for all this time... but it feels a bit awkward, you feel me? The camera's way too close to her face, and it feels like I'm invading her personal space.

-So, Aguilera definitely took the Libera Driver.

-WHAT'S COMING UP!?

-SNEK!

-GOING MY WAY! KAMEN RIDER JEANNE!

-GORGEOUS HENSHIN, GORGEOUS HENSHIN, GORGEOUS HENSHIN

-LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

-YOU DID IT SAKURA, GO FUCK 'EM UP!

-Even Aguilera's proud of you!

-KNEE CHECK

-Toei, if you do not let this girl go crazy whenever she wants, I am going to be very mad at you.

-WHO LET THIS ABSOLUTE BABBY ON THE BATTLEFIELD

-DON'T HURT THE BABY, SHE'S JUST VIBING

-I really hope she doesn't become a liability though

-Oh goddammit, she's gone already

-Ah, a ponytail whip! Classy~!

-The Libera Driver's jingles fucking rip holy shit they're so good

-The babby's part of the finisher, I'm dying

-Yeah get fucked Counselor Dude whose name I'll learn eventually, maybe.

-So like, is Kagero the only Igarashi demon who's not a good boy? ...relatively speaking. I do think that'll change eventually, since I doubt Toei'd drop a two-form gimmick like that and only use half of it. ...oh wait, they did that with the Gear Gashat Dual Beta back in Ex-Aid.

-Actually, I really hope that Lovekov does show you up, Vice. For no real reason other than the fact I think it'd be funny.

-Man, we've really almost got 'em all, huh? We're filling out that 50.

-Aw hell yeah, Mid-Season Upgrade next episode! Seems like a fairly direct evolution of Rex, as to be expected, but I'm unsure about how I feel about the colors. I'll definitely come around if we don't bench anybody though.

#revive the vice: imprinted like stamps and fossils #kamen rider revice #kamen rider #tsuki talks

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amispnrewatch · 3 years

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SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

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hootcifer · 3 years

Text

talking about toh | season two, episode four: keeping up a-fear-ances

i ytfugijkvcghdt what

previous | first | next spoilers under the cut, as always

the beginning

my goodness that owl thing is terrifying! i think we saw it briefly in that one promo but still!

young eda is back!

honestly, i thought eda ran away from home after she was cursed. i guess i was wrong.

when the healing coven dude gives eda the gem and says it's in style for young witches, i'm reasonably sure that's a reference to the fact that her gem wasn't originally meant to be an indicator of her curse. if i'm correct, that idea didn't even come about until "the intruder".

i love how eda has a poster in her room for rats, clearly a paridy of the musical cats. musical theatre nerd eda? anyone?

i'll talk more about this later, but we finally get to meet eda's mom! i like how she isn't painted as good or evil, just in between. she also seems to share eda's distaste for the coven system (though not as severe).

so even eda doesn't know where the door to the human realm came from, huh? interesting.

it doesn't look like eda's nickname came from her mom, or from lilith, since they both call her "edalyn" a majority of the time. did she start going by eda in school? did it come from her dad? did it come from somewhere else? huh?

the plot

i think it's kinda neat how eda's gold fang isn't actually meant to be a tooth replacement. it just makes her look cool. very on-brand for eda.

we now have confirmation-- more or less-- as to how the elixir tastes. apparently it's gross.

big fan of eda's new outfit. very much her style.

when eda said "beans" i thought she said "memes".

i love some of the visual humor in this show. the tea leaves "shrugging" made me giggle.

poor luz, she really wants to see her mom again. i can't imagine what that's like given that my mom is mediocre at best and makes me feel like shit a lot of the time but that must really suck. oops, sorry, too personal? let's move on.

i am a huge fan of how much closer eda and lilith seem to be now. they aren't enemies anymore, and that's great.

so witches can't detatch their limbs unless they're cursed? for some reason i thought that was universal.

okay, now we can talk about mrs. clawthorne. i saw her in the trailer, and i knew she wasn't eda because of her palisman. as a matter of fact, it's interesting that all three known clawthornes have bird palismans (palismen?). "escape of the palisman" reveals that not every palisman is a bird. is it a coincidence? is it a family tradition? i'm leaning more toward the latter.

but wow, gwen clawthorne. right off the bat i knew there would be people simping for her. i mean, people simp for both of her daughters, so it only makes sense. now, i'm ace, so i don't know much about milf, but does this make her a gilf? since she'd the mother of two milfs? (or are they still milfs if i don't want to--? never mind.)

i was expecting to dislike gwen, but i honestly ended up enjoying her character. sure, she can be a bit... much... but she loves her daughters.

oh, here's an odd detail. both gwen and eda's names end with "lyn", but lilith's doesn't. coincidence? no?

i would love to hear gwen's "strong words" for belos. let him get told off by an old lady!

aww, poor lilith just wants her mom to acknowledge her. it's not fun being the least favorite. i feel you on that one, lily. the older child is always less favored.

canon confirmation that lilith dyes her hair! i think dana said she did in an ama but now it's truly canon.

i knew something was fishy with wartlock from the beginning. there is no way he could have been legit.

i feel so bad for king. now that he knows he has a dad out there, all he wants in the world is to find him. poor thing.

what the hell is "knife season"?! is that a thing?

not gonna lie, i thought king and lilith got drunk off that ice cream. or maybe they did, and i'm just that bad at recognizing that stuff.

also, loving the lilith-king development. always great when two characters bond over angst.

"you know things are bad when hooty is the voice of reason." ~me, to my friend

honestly, a jar of bees would certainly help me with existential dread. i love bees.

i can't say i'm surprised that gwen's "cure" was just a bunch of made up bs. there's no way they could heal eda so early in the season.

gotta say, owl beast lilith looks dope.

i'm really happy that gwen learned to listen to eda. that's not something every mother learns.

i noticed that gwen was from the beastkeeper coven since we saw her in the promo, because i'd recognized the logo on her arm, but i think her controlling the bees was really cool. maybe i know what coven i would join. then again, i'm pretty much with eda on the "covens bad individualism good" front.

also, it looks like badassery runs in the family just as much as bird palismen do.

can we start a petition to help morton stay in business? he deserves it.

it was really interesting to see eda's point of view when she's the owl beast. it looks like she has to fight with the creature from the beginning for dominance over her own body.

the end

hoo boy. h o o b o y .

okay, let's start at the beginning. of the end. okay.

first of all, it shatters my heart into pieces that lilith is going to live with her mom now. i was just growing to like her, too.

and poor hooty! he found someone who considered him a real friend, only to have her ripped away just three episodes later. i hope she comes back soon.

is episode five going to be the episode where we find out that amity works at the library? (don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question.)

okay, now let's get to the real mind-boggling part: false luz. what--or who--the heck is she?! i've seen a lot of theories about that, ever since we saw the letters at the end of "enchanting grom fright", and we have options. i'll go more into those in the next section.

predictions

belos being behind this new false luz makes a lot of sense, since he's the main bad guy as of now. it's the most likely theory for now, but i feel like it's a bit too predictable.

eda was an option before, but now that she has no powers or access to the human realm, that's off the table.

i've seen theories about amity being behind it, but i suggest a new (and probably false) one.

what about the twins? it could be a situation similar to gwen's determination to heal eda's curse. ed and em seem to care about their sister (more or less), so it makes sense that they would do anything for her to be happy, and for her to be with the person that makes her happy-- even if it means trapping said person in a realm that isn't her own. besides, they're both in the illusions track, and from what we've seen they're very good at it. what if they're the ones who made false luz? i don't know if illusions can interact with things around them, like false luz does with the tissue box, but maybe advanced ones can? also, can you cast illusions in the human realm without a portal? out of all of guesses so far it's probably the least likely, but it's still an interesting concept.

on the topic of illusionists, we also have gus as a suspect. however, we can tell when he's controlling illusions, so surely we would have seen it by now. that does provide an argument against the blight twins being the culprits, but they are both older and more experienced. i'm sure their expertise in their track is similar to amity's in the abominations track, if their parents' expectations of them are anything like their expectations of amity. maybe skilled illusionists can control their illusions with their minds alone? or they can create semi-sentient illusions?

okay, that's enough crazed conspiracy-theorist rambling for today. see y'all next week for episode five!

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inkyvendingmachine · 4 years

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BATIM Cthulhu AU: Season 1 Episode 4

✨Call of Cthulhu Season One Masterpost ✨ 💀 Call of Cthulhu: Haunted Hijinx Masterpost 💀

Warning: This campaign is an edited version of Call of Cthulhu: The Burning Stars scenario. While a lot has been changed, there IS spoilers for it throughout these posts.

hey. hey. hey. uhhh, unfollow me now this game is all im gonna think about for the next 30 years.

SOME THINGS SURE HAVE HAPPENED SINCE LAST SESSION. and here’s some of my highlights, which might get long cause WOW, THERE SURE WAS A LOT, THAT HAPPENED, THAT I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH AND CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT.

... (or maybe uhhh just an entire summery)

okay okay okay, so, WE HAVE THIS REVOLUTIONARY FIGHT THE GOV DUDE, who we are meeting up with to get information about the weird cult, but also the military has been watching us constantly so we need to do something about them. (Mostly because we’re afraid of like, military busting in and dragging them off before we get info lmao, the guy needs to deal with his own military problems that’s not on us,)

So, since Sammy is somehow The Least Sketchy, due to us learning that apparently everyone things Henry (h e n r y ??) is crazy, Joey takes a cab downtown to a bar. Then after he leaves, Henry walks downtown. This is so if only one of them chases after Joey thinking it’s a distraction trick, he’s right! Distraction is oBVIOUSLY for Henry, who is crazy, to sneak off. Sammy reminds them both before we go that iF YOU SEE ANYTHING WEIRD, DON’T LOOK AT IT, DON’T INTERACT WITH IT, THIS IS HOW WE PASS OUT, JUST DON’T.

Anyways, we get to our respective spots, Henry finding a nice cafe! And then Joey remembers he’s terrified of being alone now so, uh, instead of drinking this drink he just bought at the bar he runs across town to find Henry, ends up circling around for a bit (Just missed a roll so clearly he looked in the cafe at the same exact time Henry bent down to pick up a pencil that rolled off the table,) until Henry notices him and beckons him inside.

Sammy is having a chill time back at the hotel, just playing music and waiting,

Joey drinks Henry’s coffee while they wait and uh, maybe becomes Even Faster. He spends the next two hours chatting Henry’s ear off as they down more coffee (gotta make sure Joey doesn’t fall asleep) and walk around town to find some festival sweets for Henry to work on.

Sammy is looking out the window to see if any of dudes he’s supposed to be meeting are showing up, nobody is out there. Including the military that’s good-- AAAHGHGH, WEIRD BLACK GOO ON BALCONY, CLOSES WINDOW. DOES NOT LOOK, DOES NOT INTERACT, TIME TO PLAY MORE BANJO, Henry and Joey have been wandering around for about 2 hours, they sHOULD be done by now, and even if not, they need to get up there before it gets too late, so they head back to the hotel.

Sammy is now hearing some songs in the distance, that haunting tune... sO HE’S PLAYING LOUDER AND IGNORING IT, HE WILL NOT INGAGE--

Joey and Henry walk into an empty Hotel lobby only to get a gun pointed at Henry, and be accused of setting up a military trap for em. Joey: ... Why Henry? Henry: why me...? Joey of course starts talking back to them and telling them how bad they are at their job, and they’re just like ok whatever we’re kidnapping you gun to ur back, bag over ur head, tied up hands, time to go. Joey of course, while saying he wants to keep Sammy out of this, also immediately lets them know hey Sammy’s upstairs can you bring him with us too?? They are confused but okay whatever, Sammy gets the same treatment too now.

Joey uhh still had a bunch of caffeine so, he is Talking. He is Talking A Lot in the car, while Henry disassociates and Sammy sits angrily, upset about all of this of course. Joey CONTINUES to constantly talk as they get tied to a chair and threatened by the guy they’re supposed to meet with because apparently we are hiding his guns too?? And also still thinks we’re trying to betray him??? Joey keeps talking though, and somehow manages to convince the dude that they just want to get to the cult and end all of this so they can go home, also there’s an invoice they had found at one point so maybe that’s where ur guns are?? idk

He gives us a map and a knife and some advice on how to kill the creature, then threatens us that he will destroy us if we lied to him. Henry also takes an axe because why not. We also get a ride to the graveyard which is kinda the starting point on the map. Joey sits in the back cause he’s used to being chauffeured around, Henry is tired and leans against Joey in the back for some comforting contact and to rest his head. (Joey has gently bluescreened)

Meanwhile Sammy took shot gun cause no way he was gonna sit in the back with ... with all that going on noPE. He will sit up front and look at this map in the meanwhile oH SHIT THERE’S A NOTHER TAROT CARD AND THE REST ALSO JUST FELL ALL OVER HIS LAP TOO, GREAT, FANTASTIC. Sammy audiably reacting causes Joey to snap out of it and try to help by just... taking things off Sammy so he’s not covered in spooky cards, while Henry looks at stuff with the mirror. Joey uses rest of car ride to study map,

And then, when they get out at the graveyard, with map and cards on hand, Joey tells Henry and Sammy to go back to the hotel and bOOKS IT. Of course Sammy and Henry immediately chase after him, Sammy yelling “OH NO YOU DON’T YOU IDIOT DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE US,” Henry isn’t saying anything, but you can feel him glaring.

wE GO THRU A WHOLE CHASE SCENE WHERE JOEY KEEPS YELLING OVER HIS SHOULDER AND SAMMY IS VERY GOOD WITH THE RUNNING FACTOR, finally grabs Joey and tries to just yell some sense into him. Joey manages to pull free, and tries to push Sammy back into Henry to try and trip em up from following him and, Sammy just grabs him again cause Joey is so bad at doing anything physical. Henry finally catches up and Gives Him a Stern Talking to, which... finally calms Joey calm down enough. They continue on together,

They past by the potion maker they met before, who’s not exactly herself? Henry sees a weird spirit person?? outlining her who winks at him, through the mirror, while Joey ‘distracts’ her by being acting up a excited tourist persona. (”Sammy is very impressed how Joey can weaponize his worst qualities.”) Eventually Sammy speaks up, is like okay time to go, to which we get, “Oh you have another one. Well take care of yourselves, enjoy the party.” which we’re all like o k a a a y u 2 ??????????

Come into a buncha dancing festivities, there one guy who’s wearing a tailcoat and a top hat and no shirt, and also uhhh a WEIRD ASS CORRUPTED LOOKING BENDY MASK??? Joey is offended that someone would beSMIRCH Henry’s lOVELY CREATION like this. Sammy nEVER WANTED TO SEE THIS. Henry is just doing due diligence and using the mirror to figure out what is--

Henry is knocked backwards by whatever he saw. Joey is at his side trying to help him up as he hands the mirror off to Sammy, who manages to keep himself steady as he looks at this guy with the weird mask through the mirror, but then uhh fREAKS OUT AT WHATEVER HE SAW AND COVERS HIS FACE AND BECOMES NON COHERENT. Joey tries to help him but he is gONE, while the masked dude shows up, says some foreboding things to Henry, then dances off leaving him with the last tarot card. Mirror time is over, Joey grabs the mirror and pockets it and grabs the card and pockets it and grabs Sammy with one arm and Henry with the other and tries to pull them away from the crowed and whoever the fuck that guy was. (he can drag sammy but is having difficulty with Henry, luckily Henry can stand up now and move with him,)

They hide around a corner to recover, Joey does mirror stuff and tries to comfort Sammy by being gently gay mostly awkward actually worried about Sammy. It works... only a little bit. Luckily Henry is there to be actually comforting. They press on, and eventually start finding a bunch of... weird stuff. The jungle goes silent, there’s rips of their clothing and audio logs dashed about, Henry finds his missing reading glasses, also everyone is gently sepia tone now?? great. Not concerning at all when we find a bunch of bendy masks spread across the ground in one of the clearings. even less concerning when sAMMY PICKS ONE UP. Joey and Henry stare at him, and when Joey angles mirror at the mask it reads “Say hello to Sammy!” This is only comforting, of course. While people get distracted with a figure in the distance, Sammy puts on the mask. When he tries to talk to them though, Joey is very stuck on the fact Sammy is wearing the mask, and starts arguing for him to take it off. “I thought you were the one who made these mandatory--” “I’m making them UN-mandatory now!” Joey they proceeds to explain that every time Sammy has died in a dream or a premonition, he’s been wearing the mask, so Joey would like to try and avoid that?? Sammy backs off, though Joey tells Henry to keep an eye on Sammy which starts the arguing again.

“I don’t need a baby sitter, Joey--”

“Then stop wearing the mask!!”

... Sammy takes off the mask.

They find a shrine with another tape deck, and some candles. Turns out it’s a Sammy log, that starts off with Sammy Complaining Normally, and then halfway through corrupts into something far closer to Inky-Sammy, ending with that lovely “Can I get an amen?” line.

Sammy, has a moment to be embarrassed by whatever the fuck is happening, Joey swirls around to yank the mask out of Sammy’s hands because he’s pretty sure that if Sammy holds onto that he’s going to get kILLED, before we hear Sammy, from the bushes, repeat the line, and our Sammy just vanishes.

There’s a broken, bloodied banjo down the path, next to some pools of that foreboding goop. Henry gRABS Joey and starts dragging him away while Joey madly breaks the mask into pieces, exTREMELY CONVINCED that he did not get it away from him in time and that’s why Sammy is gone now. There’s a displeased noise in the shadows, Henry takes out his gun, Joey takes out the knife, call out to see if it’s Sammy, but nobody replies...

Sammy, meanwhile, wherever he is, is remembering that... a lot of the events in the last 48 hours? Were not happening as he thought they were. Actually, they’re happening quite different, almost like he wasn’t really there for... any of them?

Joey turns to Henry, confirms that, “You’re... not going to go back to the hotel, are you.” When he gets a shaky nod, he takes Henry’s hand and starts RUNNING TOWARDS the Starpools, hoping they can outrun whatever is after them and stop this before they all die, annnnd immediately trips over a jacket on the ground, bring Henry down with him.

It’s his jacket. It also has an audio log. We pocket that audio log, get up and start running again because nO TIME FOR AUDIO LOG also EVERY TIME WE LISTEN TO AN AUDIO LOG SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENS, but as they’re running Joey starts remembering things... Where he wasn’t quite there either, and that people had been treating him not exactly like...

Joey disappears. Henry is left with a gun in one hand, a knife in the other, and an audiolog in his back pocket. Not knowing what else to do, he plays the log, which is Joey’s kind of... over excitement at an idea he had. When it ends, Sammy says “Joey, what were you doing.”

Wait, Sammy said that? And we all heard it. Henry looks around, no Sammy.

... Henry throws the audio log against a tree, and after it breaks, sits down, leans against said tree, and has, just ... tries to process this. Joey starts mumbling about how it’s weird that they’re all here, and notices that some of the weird blackness that had been crawling up his arm (and that he had been hiding before) is now going up Henry’s... which is still his arm, when he looks down at it. After taking out the mirror and trying some ideas, a few more memories come back... all our medical charts were identical. Our guns all had the same serial number, Henry is def listening to both Sammy and Joey making background commentary and just murmurs to himself “I am losing it.”

Suddenly remembers his sketch book, opens it and starts flipping through the pages back to the one that told him, “If I tell you more details, you’re going to lose them,” and tries to get the gold text to actually answer hOW TO GET THEM BACK NOW?? While waiting for a response, Henry finds that he has started hugging himself for some reason, and doesn’t know why (turns out Joey tried to put an arm around Henry)... just, has a full on meltdown. No wonder why he constantly felt like crying every time he was waiting for gold text responses in the sketch book before.

ANYWAYS, UH, BIG TWIST. TURNS OUT WE’RE ALL JUST IN HENRY’S HEAD NOW?? WHENEVER WE WERE DOING STUFF BEFORE, WHOEVER WAS DOING IT WAS JUST FRONTING AND HENRY NOW SHARES MENTAL SPACE WITH JOEY AND SAMMY.

Whenever we were passing out it was because we had tried to do too many things at once, and kinda blacked out during the time that it ACTUALLY took for Henry to do these things, instead of 3 people doing them. From an outside perspective, Henry has been talking to himself A L O T.

ANYWAYS THIS IS A VERY LONG POST, I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP NOW SO HERE’S THE TLDR OF THE REST: - Henry grabs a bendy mask to leave on his belt to comfort Sammy - Joey lets this happen since, well, what’s the worst that can happen now. - Inky Sammy shows up and wants to sacrifice Henry, Henry manages to get away because when he touches him he melts. - Henry starts hearing aNOTHER VOICE in his head that uhhhh mIGHT BE BENDY?? - Turns out it’s the Lurker, the creature that we took the potion to be allies with, and yes, kinda looks like weird Ink Demon Bendy. - Lurker explains that we’ve been through this loop quite a few times, including one time we showed up with a tommy gun and just killed everyone!!

- Everyone continues to try and process this all even a little bit.

--> Episode 5

✨Call of Cthulhu Season One Masterpost ✨ 💀 Call of Cthulhu: Haunted Hijinx Masterpost 💀

#sammy lawrence #joey drew #Henry Stein #call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #Bendy and the Ink Machine #batim #holy shit so much happened and i cannot sumemrize it quickly #im sorry this is so long but also like #i loved eVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED #SO EVERYTHING HAS TO BE HERE NOW #WE'RE ALL STILL REELING AT HENRY HAVING DONE ALL OF THIS UP UNTIL NOW #OUR NEXT SESSION IS MONDAY AND I AM D Y I N G #ahem anyways hope u like reading if ur interested in finding out what is going on with this image #im so sorry but also all of this is great so im not #and also i mIGHT have to write a fanfic when we're done this adventure #just so i can go back and reread it #and also make it a lil more gay #studiostartup ship

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asterekmess · 4 years

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Somebody tickled my salty-bone (in a good way. I love you. thank you.) and now I wanna vent about the absolute shitshow that is Stiles and Scott’s friendship.

Forewarning, I have a v faulty memory and I like to ramble. So. Obligatory Read More.

hoo boy. Now look, I am a salty little sea witch. I don’t like Scott. I love me some Stiles. Listen, I want to acknowledge here that Stiles isn’t perfect. He’s not the best friend that could ever friend, especially not at the beginning of the show. Yeah, he says stuff that riles Scott up. And yeah, he chucks lacrosse balls at Scott bc he’s pissed off at him. And he gets him beat up by blaming him for keying a car. These are objectively shitty things.

Now on to Scott. I’m starting at the beginning, because some brit chick told me once it’s a good place to start. It’s an anti-scott favorite to point out Star Wars. But I wanna talk about the history of Stiles and Scott’s friendship in general. We’re not explicitly told how long they’ve been friends. It’s implied “for ages” but there’s a lot of evidence that points to them not knowing each other until later (my preference is the 5th grade, just after Stiles’ mom died).

Stiles had a boa once, apparently. But Scott doesn’t know this. Stiles was apparently friends with Heather since they were in diapers but Scott doesn’t know her. Stiles has panic attacks and apparently a social anxiety disorder, but Scott has no clue about it.

Stiles doesn’t actually share many, if any, passions/interests with Scott besides Lacrosse. We know Stiles can skate, but Scott has never done it before Ice Pick episode. We know Stiles has other friends like Heather, but they’ve somehow never been introduced to Scott. Stiles plays videogames “Online gaming community that battles mythical creatures” but Scott has no clue what he’s talking about. Stiles has a favorite movie series that Scott has never watched. Scott, if I’m honest, got totally shafted by the show. He has no interests. We see a little dartboard on his wall in his room. We see posters. But he doesn’t do ANYTHING except play lacrosse and go to work at the vet. Then he gets a motorbike, which I guess....is supposed to count as a personality trait? We know jack-shit about Scott’s hobbies, even though he’s the main character. And what we do know is in Negatives. We know he has a shit vocabulary. We know he doesn’t like to read. (at least...before his “better Scott McCall program”) We know he doesn’t bowl. We know he sucks at literally all school related things. We know he has literally no other friends besides Stiles, until he becomes a werewolf.

But to me, what stands out is how...unobliging Scott is about their friendship?

It’s established that Scott usually runs around with Stiles when he’s got an idea, yeah. Two bros being dumbasses. Got it. But Stiles clearly has this whole mentality/joke view of them that’s Batman & Robin “I don’t wanna be Robin all the time” but Scott just sort of...shuts him down? “No one’s batman and robin any of the time”

I acknowledge that it’s a sort of tense situation...kind of? He’s sneaking into an empty bus lot to go sniff at the crime scene. He’s not really in danger here? But his tone of voice is so dismissive? Like he’s completely confused that Stiles would ever think that. But if they’ve been friends for ages, why would he only just now be finding out about it? And why would he dismiss it if they’re that close?

Then, of course, there’s Star Wars. Like...fine, whatever, Scott doesn’t like Star Wars. Except that it’s not that he doesn’t like it. It’s that he refuses to watch it. He knows nothing about Stiles’ favorite movie? He gets frustrated when Stiles makes Star Wars jokes because he doesn’t get them. But even KiRA is willing to watch it, and he just laughs about it.

Jackson and Lydia were supposed to be garbage to each other, but she still watched lacrosse videos with him and he watched The Notebook however many times Lydia wanted. If the couple we’re supposed to think is shitty is more kind to each other than Scott is to Stiles, what am I supposed to take away from that?

There’s also the part where he never just...believes Stiles? Not unless it’s in his favor. Sure, it sounds crazy that Stiles tells him he’s a werewolf and he’s gonna go crazy on a full moon. But Scott watched his bite completely disappear. He knows the shit he did on the field was bizarre and physically impossible for him. He doesn’t need his inhaler anymore. He heard Allison talking from Outside the School. There’s so much evidence to back Stiles up here, it’s ridiculous. And Scott still won’t believe him. Stiles tells Scott he thinks Matt’s the killer. Scott asks him why, Stiles doesn’t have an answer, and Scott immediately shuts him down. He tells Scott that it isn’t Lydia, and Scott argues with him, citing a test that he later admits he thinks is bullshit! Stiles tells Scott that virgins are being sacrificed and he’s scared he’ll be next, Scott laughs at him. Stiles tells Scott he thinks he was the one who wrote that shit on the board, the one who planted the bomb. Scott refuses to listen to him. He warns him about Theo, gets completely blown off. And Stiles is almost never wrong. But Scott continues to ignore him and refuses to believe him. Meanwhile Stiles believes Scott about Derek being dangerous. He believes Scott about Derek being the one in the bus. About how Peter is going after Allison (He must be going after Allison, the national archery finalist who’s always surrounded by hunters. Surely she’s “vulnerable.” It’s not like there’s someone way more vulnerable following Scott around, someone that Peter might force into helping him find Derek? HMMM?) Think about it, when does Stiles ever doubt Scott?

How he outright ignores Stiles just constantly? Even after he loses his temper with Stiles in the room in episode 1, he still goes to the Fucking Party. Even after Stiles tells him he can’t be in lacrosse anymore because it’s too dangerous, he ‘tries’ to quit and when he’s told that if he won’t play one game, he’s off first line, he outright ignores Stiles and fights with him until Stiles backs off and lets him play, where he proceeds to do EXACTLY what Stiles and Derek thought he would, and loses control. If ALlison hadn’t been there. People would have died. A kid from the other team saw Scott’s wolf eyes. He exposed himself! Then there’s the parts where he just pretends Stiles doesn’t exist. When he goes to hang out with Allison, and Stiles can’t get him on the phone, and when he finally answers he admits “did you get my texts?” “Yeah, all nine million of them” that he was literally just refusing to text Stiles back while he sat in the car with Allison and did nothing else. He won’t tell Stiles where he’s going, and he turns his phone off once they get to the woods. He also turns his phone off while Stiles is trying to take care of Derek, who IS POISONED and Bleeding and SHOT. Instead of trying to do anything he willfully ignores it and makes out with Allison, then wanders the house with Allison, then eats dinner with the family. He could’ve pulled the ‘i need to use the restroom’ ANY FUCKING TIME. He could’ve explained in a text at ANY TIME what he was doing and why it was taking so long. he just refused. When Stiles calls at the pool, Scott has no reason to hang up. Yeah, the phone made noise while it was ringing but after he hung up on Stiles he continued to just sit there with Allison and whisper to each other. He could’ve fucking talked on the phone! There was NOthing stopping him!

Then there’s how much danger he’s happy to put Stiles in? Like, he still hated Derek and thought he was a dangerous thug, while ignoring Stiles’ messages and leaving him alone with Derek. They knew Jackson was dangerous and had attacked Stiles before, and he left Stiles alone in the van with him?? Jackson wouldn’t need to break out of the vehicle, just the cuffs and Stiles would be dead. But for some reason Scott goes to school? LIke yeah I get it. He might fail his classes. But Stiles gave up first line just to check if Scott’s mom was the Alpha. Why couldn’t allison have watched Jackson with an arrow pointed at his head? She was better equipped than Stiles and in no danger of failing classes.

Look, I know I’m only talking about the first couple seasons but I have a rlly bad memory and I haven’t seen s3a or s3b in a long ass time. (gonna have to watch ‘em later tho while I work on the rewrite)

There’s probably more I’m missing. I’m just so damn cranky and sad. I’ll probably add more eventually when I get mad enough abt it.

#personal #Meta Ramblings #rant #anti-scott mccall #should I not be putting these 'read more' things in?#there's a weirdly big descrepancy in notes between my rants with read more's and my rants without

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kyber-kisses · 5 years

Text

What About Y/N?

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: spoilers for season 14, blushy Dean, idk my dudes

Summary: When John is yanked into the future he sees that his oldest Son still hasn’t made a move on y/n.

A/n: this has been swimming around in my head for awhile so I’m finally writing it. I hope you guys like it! If you wanted to be added to the forever taglist, just hit me up.

When you returned to the bunker after a rare solo hunt, you had no idea what insanity you were about to walk in on. The only thing you were looking forward to was a much needed hot shower, a decent meal, and maybe enough time to get through an episode of Game of Thrones with Dean. But that was a long shot even.

Parking your car in the garage, you took your time gathering your things and walking down the hallway towards your room. Throwing your duffel onto your bed, you stripped the dirt and blood stained clothes from your body. Dean and Sam could wait. The hot shower was your top priority right now.

You knew you had made the right choice, ten minutes later stepping out of the shower and feeling like an entirely new person. And fresh clothes only made it that much better. Wrapping a towel around your hair, you ventured out of your room towards the library. It was good to be back. It was good to be home.

“Sam! Dean! I’m back from that Wraith hunt in Washington!” You announced, ascending the stairs into the library, busying yourself by rubbing the towel through your hair in an attempt to dry it quicker.

The brothers had been so per-occupied by the event unraveling in front of them that they failed to remember you would be returning tonight. Your voice sending them turning in unison to face you, revealing the figure partly hidden behind them.

And then things got weird.

You were stopped dead in your tracks at the sight of one John Winchester, standing very much alive between his two sons. Meanwhile your towel was still pressed against your hair.

“What- the- hell is happening?” You stated slowly, eyes darting between the brothers. Dean shot you a smile, beaming at the sight of you.

“Hey y/n! Our Dads back!” Dean grinned, bringing up the obvious. You dropped the towel, eyes still wide as you nodded slowly.

“Yeah.” You breathed out, “ I can see that.” You put your hand up in a half wave at their father, still trying to steady your breathing. “ Hey, John. How’s it going?” You tried, still looking very confused.

You were one of the very few that had been in the Winchesters lives long enough to have known John, hell, you met them when you were in your pre-teens. The point was, John knew who you were and you knew who he was.

John let out a light laugh, an amused look on his face. “ I’m doing alright y/n. Thanks for asking. Apparently it’s been awhile.”

You locked eyes with Dean again, silently asking for a explanation. “Yeah, you could say that.” Dean could see that you were dying for an answer so he quickly stepped forward.

“Y/n, I was just gonna go out to grab stuff for dinner, you wanna tag along?” He asked, grabbing his jacket off the nearest table along with the set of keys for Baby.

“Uh yeah- sure.” Your words coming out slow as you had trouble taking your eyes away from their father. This was too weird.

As Dean stepped down the stairs, you quickly forced your body into motion, following him down the hallway. Once you knew you were out of earshot you turned to your best friend.

“Okay, mind telling me what I just walked in on?” You asked, looking over at Dean who, if you were being honest, who looked happier than you had seen him in a very long time. A huge smile on his face as he looked over at you.

“I’ll explain on the way. Long story short, Sam and I found a pearl that can give you what you want most in the world- or something. One minute there was nothing and then all of a sudden, BOOM. Dads standing there with a shot gun pointed at the two of us.”

“Well that definitely sounds like your dad.” You nodded, sliding into the passenger seat of the Impala.

Over the next hour Dean filled your in on the entirety of the story. From the odd wishing pearl to the fact that it wasn’t a permanent thing. While John was here, time would continue to warp and change. They would have to reverse the wish after dinner. You could see the sadness in Deans eyes as he told you, and you wanted nothing more than to be able to fix it for him.

When you returned to the bunker, you helped Dean unload everything from the car, pausing mid way to the kitchen. Dean stopped when he saw you frozen in the hallway, adjusting the groceries in his arm as he walked back over to you. “ you alright?”

You let out a sigh, giving the green eyed hunter as small, faint smile. “ Dean, I shouldn’t be here.”

Dean let out a huff, giving you a confused look. “what the hell are you talking about?”

“This is a family thing Dean. You always talked about wanting this. I’m not going to intrude. I’ll just go back into town for the night.” You shrugged. Moving past him, you stepped into the kitchen, setting the groceries on the table.

“Okay, first of all-“ Dean corrected you, moving to set his own bags down next to yours. “ You are family and second, I want you here. You’re my best friend.” He turned to look over at you, a smile lighting up his face.

Oof. There it was again. That one little title that had you so conflicted. Of course Dean was your best friend as well, but you also wanted something more than that. And you were sure Dean didn’t feel that way about you. “Are you sure? What if they don’t want me here?” You questioned.

Dean gave you another annoyed look before turning to unpack the groceries. “ are you kidding me? My mom loved you from the moment I introduced her to you and my dad? Even though he would never admit it, he thought of you as his other kid.” He chuckled. “So in conclusion. Your staying and that’s final. Got it?”

“Alright fine.” You exhaled, smiling over at the older Winchester. It was good to see him happy.

*. *. *. *.

And that’s how you found yourself seated down at one of the library tables, wine glass in hand as you watched Sam and Dean retell an old story about how the three of you had to go digging through a pond when Dean lost the keys to the impala during a wraith hunt a few months back.

You smiled into your wine glass as Dean rolled his eyes. Another memory came to your mind, making you slap Dean in the shoulder. “You gotta tell em the story about the fairy!”

Dean whipped his head around to glare at you, wide eyed. “ I’m not telling the fairy story y/n.”

“I’m sorry- fairy story?” John questioned, leaning forward with a raised eyebrow and a light smirk.

“Oh yeah. It’s one of Deans greatest victories.” You nodded, a grin appearing on your face as you took another sip of wine. “ He fought a fairy.” You swiveled your head, sending Dean your growing grin.

“I haven't heard this one either. Now I’m interested.” Mary laughed, leaning forward in her chair and resting her chin on her palm as she looked to her eldest son.

Without much choice, Dean groaned, diving into the story about how he was abducted by aliens and then forced to fight a fairy. The whole time you were trying to keep a straight face, but with everyone else laughing it was terribly difficult.

“It was a little glowing, hot naked lady.” Dean sighed, looking down at his hands which were folded in his lap.

“And then what happened Dean?” You smiled, trying even harder now to hold in your laughs.

“And- and she hit me.” He mumbled in defeat, sending you back into a full fit of laughter along with everyone else at the table. You were laughing so hard tears were streaming down your face as you grabbed your stomach. The rest of the Winchesters not far behind you.

“Oh god, I’m gonna pass out.” You heaved,looking back over at Dean who was shaking his head, only this time he had a small smile on his face.

“Okay get your laughs out.” He sighed.

“Oh, we are.” You laughed again, wiping away the tears on your face. You looked over at Dean, eyes locking almost immediately. You gave him another smile, silently apologizing for teasing him. The smile was returned, which made your heartbeat quicken.

You didn’t see it, neither did Dean, but for a good portion of dinner John was watching the two of you, smirking at the playful and childlike banter between you. Sam and Mary had noticed it too, but they were used to it. You and Dean dancing around each other , both afraid to make the first move.

It reminded John of him and Mary way back when. When times were simpler. Just two young idiots very much in love.

As dinner finished up, you helped clear off the table, you and Dean maneuvering around each other in perfect sync. It was interesting to watch to say the least.

As Dean left with the last of the dishes, heading towards the kitchen, your eyes settled on John, who was leaning against one of the pillars in the library.

You ventured over, tucking your hands into the pocket of your sweatshirt. “ Is it weird? Seeing how much they have changed?” You questioned.

John turned to you, letting out a breath. “ it’s definitely weird, but I can still see somethings haven’t changed.”

You tilted your head, wondering what on earth he was referring to. Shaking it off you sighed, “ you should be proud of them. They have helped a lot of people and they’re easily the greatest men I have ever had the joy of knowing.”

“I am proud of them. Hell, I got no words to express how proud I am of those two. I mean, Dean is still stubborn as hell-“

You let out a laugh, turning your head towards the kitchen.” Yeah, and I don’t think that’s going away any time soon.” You agreed, also realizing there was still work to be done. “I should probably go help in the kitchen.” You ended, giving John a nod before walking away.

You passed Dean in the hallway, who sent you another smile and gave your shoulder a squeeze as he entered the library.

Once John knew you were out of earshot, he turned to Dean, raising an eyebrow. “ I can see you still haven’t told y/n how you feel?” He smirked.

“Is it really that obvious?” Dean sighed, dragging a hand down his face as he fell into one of the chairs. John sitting down across from him.

“Yeah, Son. It’s still insanely obvious.” John laughed, picking up his glass of whiskey. “ I just feel bad for Sam, having to go all these years watching you two dance around each other like a couple of kids.”

Dean let out a defeated laugh. “How do I know if she even feels that way about me?”

John rolled his eyes, leaning forward. “ You two really are blind arn’t you? Just tell the girl. You’ll be fine Dean.”

“How do you know that? Y/n is a loose canon, you never know what you are gonna get with her!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air before letting them run down his face again.

“Just trust me on this.” John sighed, still mildly amused by how his eldest was reacting.

Dean was quick to lean forward, pointing his finger at his father. “Alright, but if this goes wrong, I’m blaming you.”

*. *. *. *. *.

This was not how you expected your night to go when you initially got home. You thought it would just be another night of microwaving takeout and watching some dumb show with Dean. And then you got the exact opposite. A full home cooked meal, a night of laughter, and a very happy Dean Winchester. Your heart was fucking full.

But slowly as the night came to a close, you could see Dean starting to sink, the inevitable goodbye he would have to give to his father drawing ever closer.

You eventually found yourself perched on one of the tables, the jade eyed hunter by your side. Mary and John were having one final discussion together, and Sam was leaning against one of the pillars in the library, clearly lost in his thoughts.

Turning your head, you looked over at Dean, a small sympathetic smile tugging on your lips. He looked so sad, and it broke your heart. Carefully you reached over, intertwining your fingers with his and leaning against his shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay Dean.” You sighed, feeling his hand squeeze yours. You were keeping him grounded through this whole thing. Keeping him sane. He was grateful to have you in his life.

“I know- I just- I’m tired of saying goodbye to people.” He mumbled, going to rest his head against yours.

“Well I’m not going anywhere- you’re stuck with me till the end Winchester.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He agreed with a light chuckle, eyes falling towards your intertwined hands.

It was unusual, he didn’t think anything of it at first, but now? He was only just realizing that you had never held his hand before. Sure there was the I’m grabbing your hand and pulling you with me while we run from this monster sort of hand holding, but this was different. This was gentle and loving.

You watched as his eyes stayed locked in your hands, slightly amused by how intrigued he looked by it. You smiled, taking your free hand and placing it on his face, before pressing a sweet and firm kiss to his cheek. The action surprising the both of you slightly.

And then something happened, that you never expected to see in a million years. A warm red bloomed across his face, his eyes quickly looking away. He was blushing. Dean Winchester, your best friend since childhood was blushing, turning into a rosy faced mess.

And it was fucking adorable.

The two of you out so caught up in the moment that you failed to notice the grinning Winchesters in the doorway.

*. *. *. *. *.

“You keep these boys out of trouble for me, you got that?” John grinned, pulling you in for one last hug.

You let out a light laugh, stepping back. “I don’t think the strongest power on earth could do that. But I’ll try.”

Moving back, you watched as one by one said their final goodbyes. The pearl that caused this all to happen, sitting ominously on the table next to you. Dean stepped forward, his father pulling him into a bone crushing embrace.

“She adores you, you know.” John stated slowly, low enough that you couldn’t hear it. “I can see it in the way she looks at you. So can Mary.”

The beginnings of what could only be a smile tugged on the corners of Deans lips as he slightly nodded. Yet at the same time he looked pained. Too much was going and he didn’t want to lose his Dad again.

“If you love her, tell her. Even if your scared it’s not the right thing. Even if your scared it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud. You got that, Dean?” John continued, grabbing Deans shoulder and pulling into another crushing hug.

All Dean could do was nod. His dad was right. You never knew how this life would play out- when your time was up. Life was too short to wait in fear.

“Now let’s get this show on the road.” John chuckled, pulling back with glossy eyes that matched everyone else’s.

You watched with a sad smile as the Winchester family collapsed into one last group hug. They all looked so terribly sad, but happy at the same tile that they got this at all.

“Get in here y/n. You’re our damn family too.” Before you could register it, you were being pulled into a massive Winchester sandwich, nestled snugly under Deans arm.

This was nice. To have a family. To have people who loved you. To have a home.

It took the strength of all of you combined to pull away from each other, Dean stepping back to the place where the pearl lay. Mary remained next to her husband, their hands wound tightly together.

You could see Deans own hand shaking as he picked up the bowl to smash the pearl. He was breaking. Doing what you could, you reached out taking his empty hand in yours once again. He looked down in surprise, before going up to meet your eyes in understanding.

“It’s Okay. I got you.” You assured him. He slowly nodded, showing you he understood.

You looked back towards John, who sent you and Dean both a wide smile. Who knew your lives could so quickly change in matter of hours.

And then Dean brought the bottom of the bowl down hard on the pearl, shattering it in one go.

You felt Dean slightly jump in pain besides you, his hand gripping yours tighter as he ignored the tears freely rolling down his face, eyes frozen on the spot where John had been standing just seconds prior.

You could tell he was heartbroken. Shifting the bowl from his grasp, you wound your arms around him, pulling him into you. “It’s alright. I got you. I got you.” You repeated, running your hand up and down his back in an attempt to help calm him. Though delayed, he moved to wrap his arms around you, chin coming to rest on your shoulder as he sank.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, attempt to regain his breathing.

Everything was going to be alright. He was gonna make sure of that.

(A/N: Tell me what you guys thought! this things been sitting in my drafts for ages and I finally finished it. If it gets enough notes ill write a second part.)

#supernatural #dean winchester #dean x y/n #dean x reader #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester imagine #spn x reader #spn x y/n #spn one shot #supernatural x reader #bi-danvers writing

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holyhellpod · 4 years

Photo

Heyoooo, it’s another episode of Holy Hell! This one is dedicated to the manchild himself, Dean Winchester.

Apple | Google | Spotify | Instagram | Patreon

Transcript below!

CW: discussions of child abuse, child death, suicide, alcoholism, family trauma, mental health

[Music]

Dean Winchester is, in a word, my soulmate. I started kinning him when the show aired in Australia on Fox8 and I have not been the same since. From his devil-may-care attitude to his undying love for his family that pierces the veil of death to save the day, he really is the most. I have to say at the beginning that this episode of Holy Hell will not include discussions of Dean’s sexuality and gender. I’m saving that for its own episode, so stay tuned my pals.

What we know of Dean as he develops over the course of the first episode is: he’s been hunting, and hunting alone, he’s 26 years old, he drives a sweet ‘67 Impala, he wears an old leather jacket, he listens to 1980s metal, and he has an arsenal of weapons and supernatural fighting talismans in his trunk. He’s also a smartarse, one of his most endearing qualities. He gets defensive about their mother and her death, and he defends their father over and over. He’s a loyal son and brother. The impetus to bring Sam back into the hunting life, after Sam decided for good that he was going to leave, is to bring his fambily back together.

The quality that defines Dean Winchester is how much he loves he loves his fambily. In the first episode, he is so worried about his father that he recruits Sam to help look for him, even though Sam and Dean haven’t spoken in two years, and Sam ran away to college rather than continue to live with their father. He spends most of the first season defending their father, but when John comes back and starts arguing with Sam, Dean protects his brother from John. It’s one of the most significant examples of character growth Dean undergoes throughout the entire series, and it’s where his loyalty shifts from John to Sam.

In the episode of season 2, “Croatoan,” Dean decides not to shoot Sam when Sam contracts the Croatoan virus which turns people rabid and makes them kill. In the next episode, “Hunted”, Dean reveals that John told him to kill Sam if Dean couldn’t save him. But Dean doesn’t. He says that John begged Dean not to tell Sam, but it’s not John’s words that keep Dean silent. It’s his love for Sam and Sam’s wellbeing. And this brotherly love slash codependency is used by characters throughout the entire series, from the demons in season 1 to the literal character of God in season 15, to manipulate Dean and Sam. As many characters have pointed out, including Dean and Sam themselves, they are each other’s weak points.

At the end of season two, when Sam dies from a stab wound in his spine, Dean trades his own life for Sam’s. He makes a deal with a crossroads demon—his soul for Sam’s life—and subsequently dies and goes to hell at the end of season 3. Dean literally dies a gruesome death and spends forty years being tortured in hell because he couldn’t live without Sam. At the end of Season 8, Sam is dying from the effects of the trials, which he undergoes in order to close the gates of hell, and Dean convinces him to stop because, again, he can’t live without Sam. Sidenote: this is where I stopped being interested in their brotherly dynamic to the point of losing interest in the show. It became clear to me that the showrunners were more concerned with rehashing the same tired storylines between Sam and Dean than focus on characters who could expand the world and make the show better. In fact, they killed a lot of the interesting side characters in order to keep the show solely focused on the brothers. The exception to this is Castiel, and the reason they kept Cas around is because when he died in season 7 the ratings tanked. If that wasn’t a clear enough sign that the showrunners needed to open up the show to more than just Sam and Dean’s caustic dynamic in which they die and kill for and then betray and lie to each other over and over, then I just don’t know what the fans could have done to convince them. Nothing, apparently, because they ended the show with just Sam and Dean.

Dean’s relationship with John is fraught with insecurity and codependency. Dean has so little sense of self that what he does consider to be his carefully curated list of likes and dislikes were inherited directly from John: his car, his leather jacket, his hunting abilities, and his music taste. He also throws himself into hunts without any regard for his own safety, because he doesn’t believe that he is worth saving, or that his life is worth living. His personality is crafted from both John’s reliance on him as a son, hunter and partner in crime, and the woman he assumes Mary to be. Dean’s sense of self-worth relies on how many people he can save. This is why, in season 2 episode “What is and what should never be,” Dean’s dream reality is one in which he’s a low life loser who disappoints his family—because without John pushing him to be a hunter, Dean doesn’t save people, and because he doesn’t save people, he isn’t worth anything. Bear in mind that this is the best reality Dean’s mind could conjure for him: one in which his father is dead, and he himself is not worth saving.

In one of the most famous exchanges, he asks Cas why an angel would rescue him from hell, and Cas replies, “What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved.” Twenty-nine years of bluster, insouciance, and a give-em-hell attitude crumbles in two sentences, wrought by a being Dean refuses to believe exists because, again, he doesn’t think that he deserves to be saved by them. He says, “[Why me? I don’t like getting singled out at birthday parties, let alone by God].” He thinks of himself so lowly that he accepted a one-year deal in exchange for Sam being alive. Dean cares so much about his family he lets it kill him.

But it’s not just Sam, Mary and John. Dean’s family grows to encompass a number of side characters: most notably Bobby their surrogate father, Charlie Bradbury the hacker, Claire Novak, Jack Kline, and Lisa and Ben Braeden. Even Mary makes another appearance in seasons 12 to 14. Unfortunately, because the show is the way it is, Dean puts Sam above all of these side characters, and then these characters are written out of the show. I should specify that Cas is not a side character; in most seasons, Misha Collins is billed as a main cast member, with his name appearing after Jensen Ackles in the credits. But he still dies in the third-last episode in order to have the show stay about the brothers. Even Jack, inarguably Cas and Dean’s son, is written out of the show in the second-last episode after dying multiple times. I say inarguably because I am not gonna argue with anyone about this. Claire and Jack are Dean and Cas’s kids. Dean and Cas are great parents who chaperone Jack’s prom and buy Claire her first hunting bow. They’re all one big happy, queer, neurodivergent family.

Dean loves the people in his life with reckless abandon. The times he’s excused Cas’s behaviour after Cas has done something ridiculous or foolish are too many to count. He grieves Cas’s multiple deaths, often succumbing to his alcoholism and entropy whenever Cas leaves him for more than a day. In a truly beautiful scene, Dean wraps Cas’s corpse in a curtain and watches, utterly and completely devastated, as his body burns. By this point, they have done so much for each other that it’s impossible to even envision the show without Cas, and indeed imagine Dean without his love for Cas. And we don’t have to for very long, as he always comes back a few episodes later. Even knowing this, the episodes where Dean mourns Cas are so heartbreaking and haunting that I cried for days after watching them.

Dean is great with kids, and every time he’s not is completely the fault of whoever is writing him in any given episode. We see him bonding with Lisa’s son Ben in season 3 and 6, Jesse in the season 5 episode “I Believe The Children Are Our Future,” and Lucas in the season one episode “Dead in the water”. With every child he meets, Dean gets on their level, empathising with them in a way most adults can’t. Like Claire and Jack, Dean has a complicated relationship with his father, who dies in the beginning of season 2 after bargaining his soul for Dean’s life to the demon that took their mother. Just like anyone else’s life, right? Must be Tuesday. This means Dean can relate to most children with traumatic backgrounds involving their parents, as a victim of parental abuse and having his mother die at age 4. I can’t find any sources to back this up, but a theory that rolled around in fandom was that Dean became mute after Mary died, which is what happens to Lucas after his father drowns. He says in “Dead In the Water” that he loves kids, and it’s true. As one tumblr user put it, Dean wanted to be baby trapped.

Dean carries the deaths and pain of his loved ones with him like Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders. When Claire is bitten by a werewolf, the characters administer blood of the sire wolf that bit her in order to cure her of her lycanthropy. Dean has to leave the room while she’s in pain, because he can’t bear to watch her die. The same goes for when Jack dies. Thankfully, Claire lives and Jack comes back a few episodes later.

When thinking about Dean being a father, I’m reminded of that scene from Scrubs when Dr Cox says he’s worried about being a father because his own dad was an abusive alcoholic. The difference between Dr Cox and Dean is that Dean doesn’t have his reservations about raising kids. He fits into Lisa and Ben’s life easily, at least for the first year, and we see a montage which includes him teaching Ben how to fix cars. When Claire lets her guard down enough to hug Dean, he hugs back just as hard. When he finally deals with the trauma of Cas dying in season 13, he accepts Jack into his life, and even grieves Jack when he dies. Dean escapes the intergenerational trauma that plagues his family by being a fantastic dad to the random kids who happen into his life by chance. He was born to be a father, and the fact that this show took that away from him and us as the audience makes me want to kick the showrunners into the sun.

Until season 6, Dean’s family only included men. The concept of the nuclear family—two sons, a husband and a wife—was ripped apart in the prologue of the first episode when Mary dies. Dean doesn’t know family for the first 5 seasons of the show outside Sam, John, Cas and Bobby. I do consider Ellen and Jo to be important to the story, but they’re only in a handful of episodes and die in season 5 for a reason that is plainly ridiculous. Did the Winchesters have to lose every single person in their lives to the fight? Clearly Kripke thought they were going to be cancelled after the fifth season, because it shows. And honestly? Maybe they should have. Let’s retroactively cancel the whole show. It can’t hold power over us anymore, because it’s dead and we cremated it.

But when Dean moves in with Lisa and Ben, he discovers a new type of family he didn’t have before, and new family dynamics. Instead of the 28-year-old son that Sam is to him, he takes the opportunity to teach Ben about cars and spend time with him and Lisa without the need to hunt. He gets a job, he makes some friends, and he lives the safe, apple pie life he begrudged Sam for in the pilot episode. It’s only when Sam reappears in his life that Dean’s codependency strikes again and he realises that he can’t live half in the normal world with Lisa and Ben and half in the hunting world with Sam. Sam says this himself in the first episode of Season 6, “Exile On Main Street”. Despite the ways Dean tried to settle down throughout the rest of the 9 seasons, the showrunners ultimately decided a man who was healing from trauma and alcoholism, who had adopted two kids as his own, and was learning how to bake cakes for his son’s birthday, deserved to die at the ripe age of 40, a week or so after he’d learned that his best friend was in love with him. You gotta laugh. Instead of getting the ending both Dean and we deserved—which was Dean settling down, opening a bar, and living the next forty years in relative gay peace while he got fat and watched Cheers reruns—well, we got something else. And I will always be bitter about that.

While it’s clear from the first season that he has reckless and suicidal tendencies, he doesn’t stop fighting to the bitter end. Even when faced with his own impending death in the season 2 premiere, “In my time of dying,” he fights to stay alive for Sam and John, while working the mystery that is overcoming his own death. Devastated as he is by Sam diving into hell at the end of season 5 and seemingly gone for good, Dean still gets up everyday and makes a life for himself in Lisa’s home. While season 6 was overall a bummer of a season, just god-awful in every aspect, saved from my complete vitriol only by “The French Mistake,” it did show us how great a dad Dean can be, and readied us for what was to come—being Claire and Jack’s dad. The lengths he goes to for his family are immense and all-consuming. As Cas says in “Despair”, Dean is a being of love. He loves everyone else, even when he can’t find it in him to love himself. He really thinks that he’s just a killer, not a father or a husband.

I’ve never subscribed to the idea that we have to love ourselves before we can love anyone else, or before anyone else can love us. Sorry Rupaul, you old bitch. We are all deserving of love, because love sustains us and helps us grow. And when we don’t know how to, it’s through loving others that we can learn to love ourselves. If Dean knew what a great father and friend and husband and brother he is, if he could see himself the way others, in the show and out of it, see him, I think he’d burst. You don’t like getting singled out at birthday parties? Well tough shit, Dean Winchester, because I’m gonna devote an entire podcast to you.

I talked about Dean’s carefully curated list of likes and dislikes before but I’ll go into more detail now. Things he likes: guns; rock and roll; nice cars; women; fighting; scamming people at pool; back alley blowjobs, probably; pie; driving across the country; Ozzy concerts; cowboy movies; being in control of every little thing in his life. His dislikes are: flying on planes; hair metal; angels and demons; anyone who harms his brother, his best friend or his kids; boredom; and being jerked around.

Okay I literally cannot talk about the cowboy movies without mentioning that he makes Cas watch them with him, in his Deancave, and the implications of that make my head roll off my body and into the dirt. Like they literally have gay little movie nights and watch their gay little cowboy movies together and Dean says all the gay little lines. I said I wasn’t going to talk about his sexuality, but mentioning cowboy movies leads to Cas wearing a cowboy hat and saying “I’m your Huckleberry.” This makes me insane. Excuse me, I must have my daily scream.

Okay, I’ve collected myself. Have I? Let’s just move on. In the Winchester tradition of inherited family trauma, Dean gets all of John’s interests, and Sam gets all of John’s mistakes. Dean’s personality throughout the show is basically quippy remarks, pop culture references, laughing with food in his mouth, and grouchiness. In case you haven’t realised, he is amazing to me. Every time he fires a rifle or pistol? Couldn’t be better. Eating a burger made of out donuts? Fucking incredible. Even when faced with beings with untold power, he doesn’t lose his cool. One of my favourite exchanges is when Zachariah comes to Chuck’s house in the first episode of season 5, “Sympathy For The Devil,” and starts soliloquising at him, Dean tells him to “cram it with walnuts, ugly.” Cram it with walnuts, ugly. It’s been ten years and that still makes me laugh. Top ten Dean lines for sure. Like all of my main characters throughout the years of writing original fiction are just “Dean Winchester but girl,” and I’m a good writer, but I can never come close to the level of hilarity that he achieves. And every single writer on the show seems to get that. The only times I can think of where Dean’s characterisation has irked me on a writing level are in season 6—basically the entire thing—and the way he treats Jack in the later seasons, specifically late season 15. But it’s really rare for me to watch an episode and not enjoy Dean. Even throughout the Mark Of Cain era, which I loved, when things were very serious, he had such style and panache and held himself so confidently that I was like, wait maybe he made some points? Maybe he should kill everyone?

Dean is a hunter and a killer, but that’s not all he is. He’s very skilled in hand to hand combat, weaponry, and tactical manoeuvres. Even when something doesn’t go exactly to plan, he’s usually able to improvise something to end up with a win. Because he is the main character, his choices and reactions, while sometimes extremely problematic, are never questioned, and that’s to his detriment. In the last episode of season 14, “Moriah,” Dean is unable to kill Jack, but in early season 15, he treats Jack’s betrayal as Cas’s fault, because he can’t take it out on Jack. Cas leaves, but it’s framed as a good thing because Cas is Jack’s father, and has to take responsibility for what Jack has done. In this instance, I don’t blame Cas at all. Okay I rarely blame Cas for anything, including the things he’s done wrong, because no he didn’t and you can’t prove it. But he especially didn’t do anything wrong when Jack killed Mary, and he didn’t do anything wrong by killing Belphagor. But by the middle of the season, in the episode “The Trap,” Dean admits his wrongdoing in taking his anger out on Cas, one of the only people who loves him without conditions. You’d think this would be a defining moment of character progression, but then Dean chooses to act exactly the same way by throwing Jack under the bus. Like, throwing him harder, under a bigger bus. So what was the point.

Anyway, those are choices the writers made, and not Dean.

Going back to what I was saying about being neurodivergent, Dean has adhd. I know this because I have adhd, and I’m Dean-coded. He’s wildly creative, impulsive, has a touch of OCD, and he has a hard time making long-lasting friends, although this is mostly due to how all his friends die. His best friend is an autistic angel and the only reason they’re still friends is because they’re obsessed with each other, in like a really unhealthy way. One of the funny things about his and Cas’s relationship is that every time you see them in the same shot, Cas is standing perfectly still and Dean is constantly moving. They are almost complete opposites, aside from their queerness and neurodivergence. But then, I haven’t met a single queer person in my entire life who isn’t neurodivergent or disabled in some way. That doesn’t mean we can’t live perfectly functional and normal lives, it just means we’re better than everyone else.

Dean also exhibits black and white thinking—to him all felons are redeemable and all monsters should be killed. Felons are redeemable because he himself is a felon, and monsters should be killed because they all do monstrous things. When faced with the possibility of angels being real, he refuses to believe it for the first two episodes, because, as he says, “he’s never seen one.” Eventually he learns how to see in shades of grey and not kill every monster he meets, but this is because of his time in purgatory with Benny, his Cajun vampire boyfriend.

Another sign of Dean’s ADHD is physical sensitivity. In the season one episode “Bugs,” he comments on the shower’s water pressure. Like it’s a big deal to him, when he’s only ever used 1-star motel room showers. In the later seasons, he’s also seen to wear a fluffy robe and soft pajamas with hotdogs on them and socks that say “Send Noods” but noods spelt like noodles. And so he should! Dean deserves comfort! He’s a special boy.

ADHDers often have problems with executive function—remembering appointments, cleaning up after ourselves, showering, eating, even going to the toilet when we need to pee. The hunting life excludes Dean from the normal functions of usual life, such as dentist appointments, dropping the kids off at school, meal prepping for the week, or turning up to a job on time. These were only factors in Dean’s life during the gap between seasons 5 and 6 when he lived with Lisa and Ben, and it’s not shown how his executive dysfunction impacted his suburban, settled life, but Lisa does mention that Dean drinks a lot. It’s another thing he inherited from John, much as I did my alcoholism from my father, and my adhd too. But Sam doesn’t drink to excess more than a handful of times over the entire 15 seasons, whereas Dean subsists on alcohol to get through the day. At one point in season 11, I’m pretty sure, don’t fact check me, he is shown to be drinking a beer at about 10 in the morning, because, as he says to Sam, “You drank all the coffee. What do you want me to do? Drink water?” Dean your liver must be quaking.

Excess is a common problem for people with ADHD. We have problems with limiting ourselves—because our dopamine machine broke, anything that gives us a little bit of high—such as sugar, sex, alcohol, stimulants, any kind of food that is bad for us but tastes real good—we usually have it in excess because we can’t help ourselves. In the season 4 episode “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester,” Dean eats the entirety of the candy in the Impala. The only reasons I don’t eat everything in my fridge every day is because, one, I don’t have the money, and two, it’s all ingredients I have to prepare and not ready-made food. Whereas Dean has only known fast food for the first 10 or so seasons until he starts cooking and baking and settling into domesticity. Like anyone who gets UberEats every day instead of cooking for themselves knows how expensive that is. He also engages in meaningless sex, although people have pointed that Sam actually gets more on screen action than Dean. But I know a lot of amab people who engage in casual sex with randos because it satisfies a base need. Dean could be classified as hypersexual in some regards, but I know what hypersexuality feels like and it’s like this overwhelming miasma where you can’t think about anything except how horny you are, and I don’t think Dean has that normally. Maybe when he was a demon in season 10, but generally I think he can control himself.

His settled life in the men of letters Bunker is a far cry from his flashbacks in season 8 to Purgatory. From what we know of purgatory, the land of gods and monsters, it was a year-long monster hunt, but without any of the boring paperwork. Dean got to fight and kill as many vampires, ghouls, leviathan, etc as came his way, which is why it’s absolutely ridiculous that he died by rebar in a vampire fight. He spent an entire year spilling blood and chopping off heads, day and night, and he dies by metal bar to the spine? And he’s not even coughing up blood? Andrew Dabb, I’m coming for you. Of course purgatory is the perfect place for Dean because it’s constant adrenaline, constant excitement, constant stimulation, which is what every day life lacks. Even Dean’s every day life is like, 20% monster killing and the rest is leg work. They go weeks or months between cases, and sometimes don’t find the monster at all. So I’m not surprised he gets bored easily and drinks. Would if I could too, my pal.

Which leads me onto Dwelling. Dean dwells on the horrors of his life in a way I do and my carefree older brothers don’t. In the season 4 episode “Heaven and Hell,” he reveals to Sam that he remembers his entire forty years in hell, and there are flashes of his memory littered throughout the season in creepy, split-second increments. He dwells on the people who die, doing his thousand-yard stare into the funeral pyre of everyone they cremate. In the most egregious display of dwelling, he rewrites history TWICE to deal with his grief — in season 8 he makes himself believe that it was his fault Cas didn’t come back from purgatory with him, and again in season 13 he invents the story of Jack controlling Cas to deal with his grief over Cas’s death. His PTSD twists the truth until it becomes another way to torture himself, because if someone gets hurt it’s on him; everyone who loves him is just one more person to disappoint.

On a lighter note, Hyperfixations, equivalent to Autism special interests, are a common trait of ADHD. Some of Dean’s hyperfixations include: hunting in general; cowboys and cowboy movies; the musical Rent; the movie Braveheart; larping. He loves dressing up and acting, and what is putting on a monkey suit and lying about being a Fed if not larping? Oh god the meta of that coupled with the season 4 episode “The Monster At The End Of This Book” is making my head hurt. And actually, the next episode of Holy Hell is on the subject of meta-textuality so stick around if that’s something you enjoy.

One of the amazing things about ADHD is creativity. Since we’re easily bored and easily amused, we’re constantly pushing the boundaries of our curiosity. In season three episode “Bloodlust,” Dean decapitates a vampire with a miter saw, something that even veteran vampire hunter Gordon Walker comments is a thing of beauty. Dean creates a Ma’lak box in season 14 episode “Damaged Goods” as a way to contain Michael if he ever inhabits Dean’s body again. Dean is always making up words like “were-pire” and “Jefferson Starships,” and he has an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of pop culture, which he references in almost every line of dialogue. Like tv and movies raised me, but even I don’t understand a lot of his references. It’s almost like he’s a character in a tv show being written by dozens of people. But that’s not right. He’s a real person and my friend. My friend Dean Winchester, who shouts me burgers and passes out on my couch.

Also, I’m bragging now but as of the day of writing this I got my ADHD diagnosis and it feels so good to have a doctor, a psychiatrist in fact, confirm my belief. After about three or four years of figuring out I have adhd and then trying to make everyone else believe me when I say I do, it feels like a huge weight off. Dean deserved to feel that. He deserves to put a name to his differences and be in charge of his life instead of letting his anger, confusion and impulses control him. If anyone is worried that you might have something and don’t know whether to pursue a diagnosis, my two cents are that it has only improved my life. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder in 2014 and it allowed me to go on medication, which snapped me out of the worst period of anxiety I have ever gone through and also a psychotic episode that featured talking walls and a swarm of Christmas beetles. Trust me, we all need help sometimes, and some people like me need more help than others, but you can take control of the forces in your life that hold you back. As my mother used to say to me when I was a child, the world is your oyster. It really fucking does get better, and since I started on the right anti-depressants for me my life has improved so goddamn much. The world is fucked right now, and it’s impossible to even function on most levels. We all need therapy. I myself have a gp, a psychiatrist, and a psychologist and they keep me relatively sane. I would not be alive if I didn’t have years and years of ongoing therapy and good drugs. Plus I journal everyday and practice gratitude. I’m still crazy but the craziness is contained and doesn’t hurt me anymore.

Despite never going to therapy, Dean grows from being a loner with one friend (his own brother) to someone with a wealth of connections and family. He picks up new people to love like he’s velcro, and when he goes in he goes all in. He would die for the people he loves. He’s constantly putting himself in danger to protect his loved ones. In the Season 6 episode “Let It Bleed,” Dean captures and tortures demons in an effort to find out where Crowley took Lisa and Ben. He then has Cas wipe their memories so that they don’t remember him and can live their lives without him, at his own great distress. In season 5, he goes to Stull Cemetery to impinge on the fight between Lucifer and Michael, just to be there for Sam. As Dean says, he’s “not going to let him die alone.”

That being said, I do have to talk about Dean’s very few, but ultimately life-ruining, flaws. His emotional dysregulation makes his moods unpredictable at best. By virtue of his black and white thinking, he forces the people he loves to choose sides between him and other characters, such as Sam and Ruby, Cas and Crowley, Mary and the british men of letters, and Cas and Jack, and when they don’t choose him, he passively aggressively, and sometimes just aggressively, tortures them until something else usurps their betrayal. His anger issues are par to none, and often get him in a lot of trouble. But since he is the main character, he never really faces consequences for this, and neither does he mature. Even in the final season episode “The Trap,” while Dean admits how angry he is and how wrong he was for taking it out on Cas when Jack died, mere episodes later in “Unity” he turns Jack into a nuclear reactor to take out God, and Jack dies again. His characterisation in the last few seasons, especially in regards to Jack, is all over the place. I would have to start a murderboard to explain how Dean feels about Jack and how he reacts to what Jack does in every episode. Like, pictures and red string and everything. And even then I would not be able to comprehend exactly what the writers did and what they thought they were doing.

But unlike me, Dean always believes the best in people until proven otherwise, and he does always come around to the people who atone for their sins. Even when Sam refuses to get his soul back in season 6, Dean keeps trying until Sam is put right. Between seasons 7 and 8, He spends a year in Purgatory looking for Cas despite how Cas sent Sam insane, ingested billions of monster souls, and became God. When the people he loves choose him, he chooses them back.

But even when they betray him, lie to him, deceive him, and hurt the other people in his life, he can’t stop loving them. He never stops loving Sam or Cas or Jack or Mary or John or Bobby. He loves with everything he has. He is, as Cas says, a being of love.

Oof. That was a lot of words and I feel like I only just scratched the surface. Like realistically I just talked about fambily and ADHD. There is just so much to Dean Winchester that maybe I’ll make another episode sometime. But I am definitely making an episode purely about Dean’s gender presentation and sexuality in the future. You can find the show at holyhellpod on Tumblr where I post transcripts for the episodes and Instagram where I post memes.

I don’t see myself doing an episode about Sam any time soon, Not because I don’t like Sam, but because I can’t stand Jared Padalecki. He’s done some things that I can’t support, and I’m really bad at separating the art from the artist. Especially when it’s something like Supernatural, which is not art. Supernatural is an experiment. It’s not Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry. Like Jared Padalecki didn’t invent rock and roll, you know what I’m saying? However, if you really want me to do an episode about Sam, you can pay me 101 Australian dollars and 50 Australian cents at patreon.com/holyhellpod. I’ll talk to you next time.

Links

http://www.scififantasynetwork.com/dean-winchester-has-adhd/

#supernatural #spn #supernatural podcast #dean winchester #holyhellpod #transcripts

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meetmyglowinthedarkboyfriend · 4 years

Text

AUctober #6: Time Travel (Solangelo)

AO3 link

FF.net link

Alternate title: I Don’t Wanna Die (So You’re Gonna Have To)

Summary: But then there were warm hands on his shoulders, and he was staring into those expressive eyes the colour of the sky on a sunny day and he was falling in love all over again and Will’s embrace was warm, so warm, he never wanted to leave it again; he was home, where his heart was, once again. An Escape the Night crossover. Written for AUctober, hosted by @solangeloweek. (In ETN, a group of YouTubers are sent to the past to defeat an Evil force by completing tasks and competing in challenges where, in most cases, if they lose, they die. The general in-universe survival rate for YouTubers is around 30%. The YouTubers must also take on the persona of a role of the time period in order to participate in the time travelling process.)

Content warnings: Major character death and character death in general, mentions of homophobia (which actually isn’t present, not even in source material), panic attacks and sensory overload, spoilers for plot twists in Escape the Night Season 3 (and especially Episode 7), trauma. This fic also happens to be a cycle of hurt/comfort and angst and hurt/comfort and angst.

It had only been about eight hours, but Nico was already sick of the Seventies.

They had come into the decade via a strange seance, apparently, to free the Town of Everlock, which had been trapped in time, from “the Carnival Master”, but everything had been going… badly, to say the least.

For starters, to free the Town in the first place, people had to die to retrieve the relevant artifacts. No one had presented them with a waiver prior to the mission, to let them know that by participating in the quest, there was a ~70% chance of them dying in the process.

The first one to go down was Thalia. Nico was pit against her that round… but to be honest, it was their chosen challenge-partners who were being pit against each other. Both of them were just stuck there, tied to a pair of wonder wheels, waiting for Reyna and Will to save them like royal figures in distress in some stereotypical video game plot. Will only got a slight edge over Reyna in the last sections of the challenge — catapulting a rubber chicken into a basket and a knock-’em-down game with bottles. He never realized he was so close to death until Will’s warm arms were wrapped around him again and the Killer Clown Clan’s leader grabbed her knife to stab Thalia in the guts. By the time the artifact was cleansed, the knife of the Clown in Chief was dripping with fresh blood and it clattered to the ground as its owner poofed into black smoke. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel terrible that Reyna had to deal with all of this — she had to fight between saving his life and her best friend.

They lost Percy to the venom of the Snake Woman the next hour, leaving a distraught Annabeth behind, already grieving for her older sister figure. And after that, Jason — his cousin and the first person he ever came out to (thanks to Piper’s older brother being a testa da caso…) never came back from the den of the Man With No Name — Hazel mentioned something about him tripping over and losing his glasses halfway through the challenge, so he suspected Jason’s nearsightedness had something to do with the situation.

And then he died, for real this time. It had been tests of strength and physical strength and it was a blur and it was an arm-wrestling contest against Frank and he lost and everything hurt and he knew not even the Fates would spare him in a peaceful death if they had barely spared him in life and he would have to leave his tesoro and Hazel behind, he could still hear Frank’s shouted, guilt-ridden apologies and despondent screaming for mercy and the roars of “You’re gonna die” and then it was pain and pain and more pain—

There were flashes. A church. A Black young man, a woman with dark hair perhaps slightly younger than the man, holding hands, scabbards on their belts.

And then there was a voice. A familiar voice, but it couldn’t be him, they were separated on the boundary of life and death—

“Come back to me, Skeletor. I’m waiting for you.”

But you can’t be, I can’t come back, I’m literally d—

“Trust me, Angel. Open your eyes.”

The humming chords of a harp. He could feel his heart pumping again. He was… alive? He rushed through the town, roads only lit by the dim lights of street lamps and storefront signage. The lounge behind the fridge inside the arcade — it was supposed to be his place, according to the role he was supposed to take on, the Arcade Attendant.

Inside, he guiltily noted that both Annabeth and Leo were missing from the group. Perhaps they were doing some new challenge—

But after a moment of silence, he was greeted with cheers and tearful, relieved laughter.

“You’re back!”

“It worked! The Harp worked!”

“I’m so happy to see you again!”

“We did it!”

But then there were warm hands on his shoulders, and he was staring into those expressive eyes the colour of the sky on a sunny day and he was falling in love all over again and Will’s embrace was warm, so warm, he never wanted to leave it again; he was home, where his heart was, once again.

“I… I thought I lost you for good, Neeks.” He was wearing Nico’s leather jacket, which he entrusted to Will before he entered his challenge. The only thing Nico could really do was cling onto his boyfriend and never let go — here it’s safe, here it’s warm.

“I guess I’m back now, firefly.”

They got some peace and quiet for a solid five minutes altogether.

Later on, he asked about what happened to Annabeth and Leo — where they were.

“Oh, sweetie…”

Apparently Annabeth had been locked into an iron maiden — as in the medieval torture device?! — after an unfortunate stroke of luck in the votes, and Leo had apparently had his skull bashed in with a falling disco ball of all things (he would have asked more about it, but Will had clammed up right after that, so he decided not to question further).

And after that, they were forced down to a Funhouse with flashing colours, one by one, to solve puzzles and pop balloons, which didn’t exactly help his already ‘disoriented and overwhelmed from being back from the dead’ self. The Funhouse Man with his many faces came in and dragged him out, leaving him to have a panic attack in a cage outside. Hazel, Will and Reyna eventually joined him outside, but it did nothing to stop the discomfort of being stuck in a cage is it just me or is it getting smaller and smaller and smaller—

And eventually, after what was practically eternity, the stupid idiot responsible for triggering him on at least three different levels returned, set Hazel and Reyna free, and told him and his boyfriend to re-enter the stupid Funhouse for “a final time”, for a challenge to the death.

In conclusion, it had been an absolutely terrible night so far.

Lollipops of disgusting flavours. High-stakes bean-bag toss combined with the Floor is Lava. He tried his damnedest but he was two seconds away from solving the final riddle with a warm hand in his when a voice beside him accidentally blurted out the answer and ran off, leaving his hand to cool, and slotted the necessary item in the right place—

"We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen! Both of you exit the rooms and claim your prize."

“OH SH!T, I’M SO SORRY!”

And they were crying in each other’s arms, fearful and uncertain for what was their fate to come. Vague memories of threats of being gutted with a fish-hook. The accidental betrayal, having to go back to the Other Side with the guilt of dooming the other, but if they had decided to pull a Katniss-and-Peeta then they doubted that the Funhouse Man would let them both go if they won at the same time—

Last kisses in the elevator moving upward, to the surface, to certain doom. Last goodbyes, heartbroken, guilt-ridden, tearful. Perhaps there were no happy endings awaiting at all, and the world was indeed as homophobic as the bigots made it out to be at all.

By the time they left the garish structure, both of them were bitterly resigned to their fates, yet there was no Funhouse Man with a fish-hook awaiting them outside, just a small box hanging from a string with a note. The note was written in very curly cursive, which took them a while to read, but the first half of the message read, The sad news is, you both get to live.

Tearful embrace. Warm. Safe. Together. Not to be parted again. They still had a chance to go home together. Hope.

When the boys got back, they would find several startled friends shouting over the dead body of Piper McLean with a bloody, gaping wound in her stomach (even if she voted Will in, Nico forced himself not to stay mad at her for doing so), and they would spend the next twenty or so minutes mourning those they had lost, but for now, we could only let them enjoy their peace and quiet, if only for a moment.

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Translations

Testa da caso - Venetian heavy profanity, lit. d!ckhead, refers to a bad person who does not understand and gives problems

Despite what the implications were, Thalia and Reyna were just friends in this ‘verse, with no romantic affiliation for each other.

The two figures replacing Jael and Ryu are Beckendorf and Silena.

In-universe, the Harp of Lazarus was retrieved by the YouTubers in Season 3 Episode 6 and were permitted to use it to revive one of the deceased from the dead and give them a second chance to fight for their lives.

For a moment, I considered letting Hazel be the one revived, but since the challenge was a boys-only challenge, she couldn’t be the one. And I also completely forgot about Leo (if a Season 4 is possible in this universe, he would definitely be an All Star)... and I live for Nico angst. I mean, don’t we all? (And fluff. Both angst and fluff. Both is good.)

To those of you who love Percabeth, I’m so sorry (I am personally indifferent to the ship). To those of you who hate Annabeth in particular, her painful death (albeit offscreen) in this fic is for you, credited to be one of the most brutal deaths in the entire series. You’re welcome.

The rest of the note read, Breaks my heart. It really does. The very good news, however, is that the person who voted the winner into the challenge is getting their guts torn open right now.

And to my fellow Escapees, at least I’m not doing Episode 9, that would be a nightmare for my minor ass to write. I’d probably have to slap a big fat warning label on it, and they should have done it too at the start of the episode. Also, if you guys want to know what I had planned for Episodes 8-10 for this AU, just ask in the reviews/comments/notes/reblogs/tags, because I have some plans. Oh, and the disco ball death isn't canon, of course, it's from one of my older idea lists.

I'm going to be having tests for several different subjects (10%-20% of exam scores) in the next two weeks, so I probably will be going on temporary hiatus for a while, but I'll do what I can. After all, October is already almost ending, and I haven't even finished a week of this writing activity yet. Man, I really need to catch up, and kudos to everyone who managed to do this continuously without major delays in each fic.

#my fanfiction #my post #pjo fanfiction #25 october 2020 #solangelo #solangelo fanfiction #tw death #will solace #nico di angelo #auctober 2020 #escape the night spoilers #escape the night season 3 #escape the night #pjo au #hoo au #toa au #escape the night au

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artyrogue · 3 years

Text

Blind Date Gaming: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R

Well today's date was a blast from my past. Remember way back when in yesteryear, before the advent of anime in the west? Probably not? Well hey, let's go back in time to when Sailor Moon was like the only anime being shown on TV. Okay, so yeah, it's really not super-great and all (at least the dub wasn't...), but whatever, it was my jam as a young impressionable lad of...what was I, like 10 or something? I can't remember, but since my old grey brick Game Boy was the cornerstone of my youth, I am a little excited to revisit a merging of two old passions. That's right! We're gonna play some Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R!

It starts with a cutscene, of course. This IS based off an anime, so we gotta get a fill of some anime girls with their obligatory high school problems! Sadly for me, it's all in Japanese, but I can provide some crappy machine translations to no doubt elucidate the action-packed dialogue!

"Today, every one of them..."

Oh. Guess I shouldn't have just kind of took a random screenshot in the middle of nowhere. Well, uhh...I'll ad-lib. Today, everyone is apparently milling about whatever Sailor Moon's hometown was. Serena was being a git and verbally harassing everyone she found on the street. That kind of accurately described the first phase of gameplay in this game: an 'adventure' where you have to talk to the right person, then talk to someone else, etc. until the game decides that surprise! You found the area's boss! (My apologies to the script writers here for my clear bypassing of their hard work.)

why hello there fellow school girl, let us talk about boys and how hard maths are

I get some bad vibes of two sorts: One, adventure games where you just try things randomly until you click the right thing and the game decides to let you progress; and Two, Mario is Missing. An odd marriage, especially considering the random boring mini-games they sprinkle in here and there, like matching cards, guessing if the next card will be higher or lower than the current card, and of course the staple of youth fun, sliding puzzles.

At least Final Fantasy gave you money for completing these dumb things....

Well, luckily the game isn't just mingling. There's a platforming phase where you use magical powers to jump, shoot foes, and do battle with evildoers from the Sailor Moon universe! Though I really don't recall any of these enemies since I never watched this season of the show, so I can't speak to their accuracy to the source material. The platforming is accurate for girls wearing high heels, though. These jumps're so stiff, you can mount 'em on a ladder and do high dives offa them.

I can only assume these are the Japanese temple versions of Jehovah's witnesses

The bosses are unsurprisingly dull! Pretty much the only cool thing about them is their animations, which are alright and fairly fluid. Combat is summed up as ‘spam the attack button and don't even try to dodge, because who cares?’ You have more health than every boss in the game. Which is a good thing, ‘cos it's not like you can actually move around and dodge anything anyway.

Ahh yes, the handstand of dominance. A most impressive display for an inter-dimensional being bent on destruction!

So after thumb-wrestling a boss, you get kicked back into story mode. It shifts the scout you play as, but who cares, they all blabber to randos on the street. Come on, just let me fight things! This sucks! While the best aspect of the street-roaming phase that gets changed up is the road layout, later platforming levels get a little cute with their traps and enemies. Still, though, it's all stupidly easy and kinda boring. Except that one time Sailor Mercury was dodging spike mace balls in a sea of scaffolding. Dang, I liked that episode of the show!

Why can't they ever have spiky cubes? Why always balls? C'mon devs, get creative!

Also, I feel the need to point out that the background artists definitely got paid more than the foreground artists. There is so little effort put into the foreground, you may as well be playing an old Game Boy g...oh. Right.

Mmyep, this sure looks like release material and not placeholders during development.

The story starts getting kooky near the end, at least from what my illiterate self can tell. Your first foes are some David Bowie wannabes. Next, a cloaked fortune teller pops in to ruin your self esteem and flash their $40 glass orb (as they do). Eventually, you meet the REAL enemy pulling the strings. It's...a planet? I think? A planet with a dirt lip and a mohawk. Sure. That's fine, I don't see anything that could go wrong with that.

"...my life is Wiseman. This is my heart." Yeah no, I don't think you should have put 'Organ Donor' on your driver's license then, buddy

"Moon Crystal Power!" The faces are definitely part of the power summoning rite. I get a similar look from my wife when I take the last ice cream bar from the freezer

The ending was lackluster, really. I mean, don't get me wrong, the character portraits were pretty good, but you don't get many more unique ones in the final cutscene. But hey, at least you can use the existing ones to redo some popular internet memes.

Overall, not really that great. It was pretty disappointing, but I mean, that's kind of spot-on for all of my revisits to fond childhood memories. So what I've learned from this date is that holy moly did I have terrible taste as a kid! While my younger self might have sprung for it, I ain't going on a date with this one again. Nopes all around! But at least I found a baller Sprite of Passage from one of the lame mini games! Have it as a reminder to never revisit your childhood. Keep that past rosy!

do you have burials at sea for sailor scouts?

#blinddategaming #gameboy #sailor moon

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sunnykeysmash · 5 years

Text

The connection between Brian LeFevre, death and macdennis/sunny meta

In my time obsessing over sunny recently I ended up noticing interesting stuff that I’m gonna try to show here, that was greatly expanded in s14 and that I believe gives us great odds over whether dennis will be acknowledged as gay in s15 or not.

Thesis: There has been an ongoing dichotomy, or “choice”, for Dennis, between Brian/Death/Son/Mandy and Dennis/Life/Love/Mac. Additionally, there has been purposeful ambiguity between what is sunny meta and what is dennis meta in season 14, enough for me to consider them one and the same in most cases. Information which puts Big Mo under a completely new light.

Long analysis under the cut.

Basically, Brian has been symbolically linked to death, thanks to an extensive use of metaphors and parallels, because Brian represents the death of Dennis’ identity. Not a true physical death, but the death of Dennis as a person.

Starting from the very beginning, of course, Brian is a dead guy.

In Dennis’ Double Life, it’s established textually, metatextually and visually that Dennis has an actual mirroring double life (Mandy vs Mac, Brian vs Dennis) and is stuck between the two of them.

This is also thanks to the heavy callbacks to suburbs. Here’s an excerpt from a previous analysis of mine explaining it:

(read more here, seriously I recommend it)

During this episode Dennis’ actually eventually fakes Brian’s death to try to get out of trouble, which is the second clear link to death for the persona.

It doesn’t work.

Mandy: “You can open your eyes now, I know you're not dead.”

Which also works as the first acknowledgement of Dennis not really wanting what the Brian life entails, as it’s a character death as much as it is the death of Dennis’ true wishes. He is not dead, he is not Brian, who IS dead.

Then, as he holds his son, something changes inside him. Suddenly, he is a father. His emotional involvement in choosing between the two lives changes drastically with this.

Nevertheless at the end of the episode Dennis is once again presented with the clear choice, which from this point forward I will address as Son/Death vs Love/Life, he looks at the RPG looming in the background and decides to go, not before a long hesitation and stopping immediately when he thought he was being asked not to go, showing us where his heart lies.

This, him choosing to go away, is because at this point in time, Dennis is still not in the right headspace to accept the right path for him. As Chop will put it, he feels “lonely and needs to do something extreme to feel special”, most of all though he feels lost. The conflicts that started in Boggs and Suburbs still make him unsure, and the presence of his son makes him feel like he has to be better for him, despite himself.

As he goes away, Mac blows up Dennis’ Range Rover with the RPG, car which is later in New Wheels metaphorically linked to Dennis’ identity.

Basically, as Dennis chooses Brian’s life, his actual identity dies.

So during the first half of season 13, he is nobody. He is not Brian and he’s struggling to be Dennis. He’s trying to get back into his old identity, desperate for any semblance of control and to belong, so he ends up looking like a caricature of himself, or rather, precisely who the gang thinks he is and who they see him as, not who he truly is.

New Wheels perfectly shows Dennis desperate to belong when he finds a new group of people, he tries on a whole new and different identity, which isn’t entirely him, but that at least feels welcoming enough. But it’s also a showcase of what Dennis truly wanted, which is to be acknowledged and seen by the gang, but particularly by Mac, feel like he matters to them and to him.

I say Mac specifically because the framing during the beginning scene seems to be fixated on a behind-Mac perspective on Dennis, almost like the conversation were happening just between the two of them, like Dennis was talking to him specifically when he pleads for questions.

These are all different shots, not the same one.

By the end of the episode he finally becomes himself again. And that’s that for s13.

Another thing worth pointing out though is that Dennis apparently has not been kicked out from ND, he himself says “I may go back” in New Wheels, and although in context it sounds more like an empty threat, it’s not empty because he can’t go back, it’s empty because he doesn’t really want to, as can be guessed thanks to his tone. This is because it’s then reinforced at the end of Chop with these lines of dialogue:

Charlie: “I can't believe how quick you gave up Poppins' puppies, though, you know? You didn't even think about keeping 'em.” Mac: “Well, that's a lot of responsibility, Charlie, right? And plus, there's no doggy paternity test to actually prove that they were Poppins' puppies in the first place. But, hey, if Poppins wants to stop by and say, "What's up?" and, like, be a dad for while, he's gonna. Or he won't. Dennis: “Yeah, that's how I do. That's how I do.”

Because of this, it can and should also be argued that the choice I am explaining in this analysis is something that Dennis still has to make, because he is, as it stands, still stuck between the two lives, and he has to settle on one, so choose between them, in order for the struggle to end. During all of s14 he is stuck trying to figure out which of the two he should choose, which is also the cause of his growing frustration. Currently speaking, getting a little speculatory here, I think everything feels like death to him, which is why he is having such a hard time deciding. He obviously doesn’t know the outcome of either option, because he’s not the audience or RCG, which means either of them can potentially kill him, and they both feel like they might to him.

Now, in season 14 is where all of this (the dichotomy of Death/Son vs Life/Love) starts to really become prominent in metatext, and this happens as the episodes start to purposefully confuse meta about the show itself with meta about Dennis. Let’s go through it in order one episode at a time, as that’s easier for me to dissect.

First of all, the backwards message at the end of all season 14 episodes, which is this:

“They leave but they all come back”

Is already a clear example of what I’m talking about. Is it about the show because of the false ending of Big Mo which actually ends with the message that “they’ll never stop doing sunny”? Is it about Dennis coming back from North Dakota? Unclear, but that’s entirely on purpose.

Episode 1: The Gang Gets Romantic

Now, there isn’t any clear connection to the choice as far as I am aware, but it is a first approach to the themes of romantic love, death, sons, as a whole. In this episode, while Frank and Charlie are paired with a father and son, Mac and Dennis get paired with a couple mourning a son (Dennis Jr, the “son” in the metaphor, is dead, but more in general it’s pointing to them slowly healing from the Suburbs conflict in my opinion though).

As a bonus fact, Charlie+Frank have always been set up to mirror Mac+Dennis. It is explicitly said in the Mac and Dennis Break Up commentary, and it shows in a bunch of episodes such as Dines Out, Chokes, or hell that one time Frank got a Charlie mannequin. Anyway, word of god, they are parallels.

TGGR presents us with two plotlines that mirror each other while going in the exact opposite direction, and the mirror element is the “structure”. Charlie and Frank’s plotline follows the romcom tropes closely, its structure, and is thus rewarded with a positive ending. Mac and Dennis’ plotline struggles against them (since the tropes are applying to Mac+Dennis, not Dennis+Lisa and Mac+Greg), which is why their plotline resolves negatively.

At the same time, this episode can have a sunny meta interpretation.

In this perspective, the Mac+Dennis plotline is the option for RCG to end sunny and each do their own thing, while the Charlie+Frank plotline is the option to keep it going, and at the end they conclude with the C+F one, seeing as it’s the option to keep going, which is ultimately what RCG wants.

So when this dialogue happens:

Mac: “You think they're gonna give us a bad review?” Dennis: “Yeah.” Mac: “I guess we're not gonna get that romantic comedy ending after all.”

It is about RCG choosing not to end the show (supported later by Big Mo), as it would not provide anything positive.

Or this:

Dennis: “It just feels like a lot of effort, and it feels desperate, you know what I mean? Like, I never put this much work into banging some cute meat.”

It can be interpreted as the effort to win an Emmy, especially since the Mac+Dennis plotline is the tired one, the one that’s failing.

And then when Alexi and Nikki say they’ll be back “next year”, and Charlie yells back “I love you!”, it can be interpreted that metaphorically Alexi and Nikki are sunny. Which also creates another link between love and the show continuing, or “staying alive”.

Finally, all the talk about “structure” and “acts”, particularly the three act structure, is a writer’s process, which also serves as an additional link to the RCG meta interpretation.

Episode 2: Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool

This episode leans heavily in the dichotomy, through various pieces of dialogue.

Starting from this:

Girl: "So, this is the midpoint twist. Thundergun finding out he has a son." Frank: "He has a son?" Girl: "Yes." Frank: "But how is this the twist? I mean, because he's got a kid? I mean, he's probably got a thousand kids, all the raw-dog loads he drops."

Which also calls back to the episode prior, where Dee’s role is called “diversionary plot-twist at best”. Now, all these words, midpoint and diversionary, imply an endgoal that is also opposite of what the twist shows.

The twist, obviously, being that Dennis has a secret life with a girl and a son.

It continues:

Dennis: “We’re feeling a lot of outrage right now, you know, because we want something, and we know we deserve it, - but we’re not getting it. [...] I wanna cling to the way things were, but they’re done. […] Let’s run from this.”

Being now aware of the metatext from Big Mo, once again, is this about RCG not getting an Emmy, being discouraged and wanting to end the show because they’re feeling stuck? Or is it about Dennis running away to North Dakota after he realizes in DDL that things have changed permanently despite Mac’s attempt at keeping them the exact same (the apartment restoration)?

The ambiguity that connects Dennis meta with Sunny/RCG meta continues.

Finally:

Dennis “No-no, you guys don’t get it. It’s a cliffhanger. Yeah? It’s a cliffhanger. We’re gonna find out what happened to John in the next movie, Thunder Gun 5.”

Dennis himself going against what is metaphorically his choice in DDL.

Let’s actually look into that, into what happens to Thundergun.

He sacrifices himself for his son, and dies in the process. Said film is then leaked by the gang and the audience hates it, so the franchise decides to “go back to its roots”. Very clearly sunny meta, but it can absolutely also be seen as Dennis meta. Dennis hating his choice (his thunderson ending) and deciding to come back (go back to his roots).

Additionally, Dennis literally says “give me dong or give me death” at one point, which in the context of all of this feels rather significant, you know?

Episode 3: Dee Day

Surprisingly, and thankfully for me, not much that I can see.

There is this:

Dennis: “And who cares about her feelings anyway? Nobody, that’s who. What about my feelings? Now, that’s interesting, okay?”

Which implies something going on with Dennis’ feelings, and which will more substantially be addressed by Jumper when it’s implied that Dennis tries to completely disregard them when it comes to choices, but other than that, really not much else.

Episode 4: The Gang Chokes

Once again we see a Mac+Dennis and Charlie+Frank parallel conflict. Charlie and Frank resolve their own with words (that mirror Dines Out) while Mac and Dennis resolve theirs with actions, while also solving the much bigger conflicts started by Suburbs (again, check out the other analysis for more context on this) and DDL.

It should also be stressed that Chokes starts by saying:

Charlie: “Uh, guys, I'd like to raise a glass to Frank. Frank, another year has gone by since you came into my life.”

He’s making a toast, which implies that they are celebrating their anniversary, as they were in Dines Out, and so the parallel becomes not only implied in dialogue as I’m about to show, but direct. It is unclear whether this is also a monthly dinner for Mac and Dennis or not, as I don’t think it was ever specified one way or the other.

As for the parallel in dialogue.

In Dines Out:

Mac: “I didn't have your back before, but now I'm gonna be the wind beneath your wings.”

In Chokes:

Frank (to the Waiter): “Hey, you had my back. Now I'm gonna have yours.”

and

Charlie: “Look, Frank, I'm sorry, dude. I screwed up, man. I should've saved you, and I'll always save you from now on, I promise.” Frank: “Thanks, Charlie. I knew you had my back.”

With Brian representing a death for Dennis, it is implied that what Charlie and Frank are saying in words is supposed to be fully applicable for Mac and Dennis, as there is a parallel between Frank almost dying by choking and Dennis almost dying by going to ND.

Therefore, this is about Dennis going to North Dakota and how he wanted to be stopped, “saved” by Mac. This is Mac apologizing, Dennis accepting the apology, and them implicitly moving forward from this conflict in their relationship and for any similar ones in the future if they present themselves. Mac learning the tools to deal with it, “I’ll always save you from now on”.

Which in a way further solidifies that the option that isn’t Brian, Death, Son, Mandy is fully intended as Dennis, Life, Love, Mac. Mac plays a role in the second option, so when choosing life, love, etc, Mac will be involved. As he is the savior in the context.

Continuing on Chokes, the episode itself again focuses a lot on death, both real and perceived, and being saved. There are three main points for this.

First point: Frank’s death.

So, he almost dies and no one helps. Sound familiar? It’s what happened when Dennis went to ND. As a result of no one helping him, Frank lashes out and decides to move out and distance himself. It is then shown that Frank keeps missing Charlie and comparing the Waiter to him subconsciously. It is constantly shown that Frank rejects Charlie’s attempts at helping him despite actually needing him. Which is also what applies to Mac and Dennis, throughout the episode Dennis is shown needing Mac’s help and taking it while verbally refusing it.

Charlie proposes to chew Frank’s food, Frank refuses his help, Frank chokes, Charlie doesn’t help.

Mac constantly helps Dennis, Dennis starts to push him away, Dennis “dies” (chooses to move to ND), Mac doesn’t help.

The episode concludes with the acknowledgement that they should’ve helped, and with the offended part forgiving the other.

Second point: Dee’s death

She witnesses death and is subsequently enthralled by it, seeking thrill by living on the edge. We can draw a parallel to Dennis’ enjoyment in “living in another man’s skin”, you know, “getting off”. It’s how Dennis started the double life he then got lost inside after all, it gave him a thrill. Then, it happened to him exactly what ends up happening to Dee. She experiences real death, is scared shitless by it, and decides to never do it again, going as far as to say this:

Dee: “I saw the other side. I didn't like it. I hated it. It was just blackness. There's nothing there. It's just dark. That's it. Just lights out. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to live on the edge. I don't want to die.”

So once again the choice rests on LIFE, it is like this for Dee, as it is for Sunny, as it is for Dennis.

It’s also interesting to point out that Dee is rescued by a third party, after Mac is able to say “No”; as if symbolically that is what should’ve happened to save Dennis, back when he was about to go. A “no”, to stop him.

Third point: Dennis’ death

Dennis witnesses Frank dying and no one helping him and is immediately reminded of his own situation, which he then proceeds to discuss when at home, with Mac. Thanks to Dennis making this correlation we can once again assume that it is meant to be interpreted as a nod to the ND twist. Not only this but it then keeps linking Dennis to the concept of death and being saved.

This dialogue happens:

Mac: “I would've stepped in, but, of course, I was taking my cues from you.” Dennis: “Why?” Mac: “Well, you didn't tell me whether I should save him or not.” Dennis: “But why? I mean, why do I still have to tell you what to do? Why do I still have to order your dinners for you? And why is it up to me to decide whether or not you're going to save a man's life? You know what the problem is? I can't depend on you. I can't depend on anyone. You know, I mean, if that had been me choking tonight, no one would've saved me.” Mac: “No. I would've saved you, Dennis. I would have saved you. If you told me to.” Dennis: “Oh, Jesus Christ if I told you to?”

Dennis is clearly still upset about no one helping him when he needed it, which is, no one stopping him from making the worst decision of his life, a well established metaphorical death, and is projecting this frustration by applying it to Frank’s situation.

Later on, again:

Dennis: “Christ. I feel like I'm dying.” Mac: “Just let me help you, Dennis!”

Then:

Mac: “Look, all the gluten and the sugar and the dairy just wreaks havoc on his system, you know? And it makes him so weak. And then he's gonna depend on me to take care of him, to bring him back from the brink of death.”

Or “from making a wrong decision”.

Continuing:

Dee: “But if you want Dennis to really depend on you, you’re gonna have to save his life for real.”

And:

Dennis: “So you were still gonna rely on a decision that somebody else made, only, this time, you were potentially gonna kill a man?”

In which Dennis is once again, always without fail, the dying man, and Mac the person who saves him, or tries to. Dennis is very adamant in wanting Mac to choose for himself, which is surprising for a man so “obsessed with control”, and specifically it ticks him off that Mac’s decision was once again gonna provoke the death of a man because he couldn’t take action.

All this implied connection between Dennis, North Dakota and Death reinforces the Death/Brian aspect, while also reinforcing the Life/Mac one, as it is Mac that is supposed to save Dennis.

Episode 5: The Gang Texts

A shorter one, but here things get a little interesting, because the dichotomy is highlighted by one particular joke.

Mac: “Bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads.”

Mac says this, then later on, in comes Dennis, a dad, and if it weren’t enough, it’s Mac himself who points to the situation once again by asking if it’s a “grindr thing”.

So going with this, his particular struggle (Death/Son vs Life/Love) is being highlighted with a very fitting choice of words, as he is a dad, and so... also closeted. Going with this. These are the words chosen to describe him in the joke, and it ends up being very telling overall.

Episode 6: The Janitor Always Mops Twice

Nothing, pretty much. lol

I’m gonna use this empty space to write that I just realized that Mac is even more linked to the theme of romantic love because he gifts the RPG specifically on Valentines Day.

Also, generally speaking, Dennis leaving would imply the death of the show, so that’s another way in which dennis meta and sunny meta are linked, because every time one is referenced, the other is automatically implied. The show cannot exist without Dennis in it, and Dennis cannot exist if the show ends. And if that’s not enough, in Big Mo they outright link the end of the show to actual death, in a lot of ways that I’m gonna look into in a bit, so once again, remember that.

Finally, Dennis is very adamant on Mac acting in s14 because if Mac were to do it, he would basically make the decision for Dennis, something that he used to do all the time, if you recall Mac and Dennis Break Up.

Episode 7: The Gang Solves Global Warming

The subject itself can be considered a slow death of sorts, so it feels especially significant that it’s Dennis the member of the gang who cares most about stopping it, despite not being able to because Mac doesn’t help him.

That’s not the only reason he fails at the end though.

He keeps trying to be rational and keep feelings out of it, to rationalize with the situation, which is what ultimately crushes him, as that’s impossible long term.

In this episode, he keeps getting mad at Mac for not taking action and instead trusting God’s will.

Frank: “Where is your God now?” Mac: “He will reveal himself at some point.” Dennis: “Well, is he gonna do it before all these people revolt and destroy the place?” Mac: “I don’t know. I don’t question God’s will. If he wants to destroy the Earth, that’s on him. - I support it!”

I think this is stretching it a bit, but this can also be read as Mac accepting Dennis’ decision to leave despite hating it. Dennis is also frequently presented as “God” so it would make some sense.

The crowd “not wanting to stop” and rioting can be read as sunny meta also, though that’s also kind of a stretch to me, I’m pointing it out.

In the end, the whole episode Dennis and Mac keep arguing about action vs inaction, with Dennis insisting that Mac should take action and being distressed when he doesn’t. They also keep arguing about rationality vs God, something that will come up again in Jumper, surprisingly.

Episode 8: Paddy's Has a Jumper

Now, starting from the very obvious, because that’s what’s easy to me, the jumper is called Bryan O’Brien, and if that doesn’t scream Brian=death, then boy I don’t know what does.

Not only that, but the episode spends a significant portion really stressing and beating you over the head with the fact that the jumper is paralleling Dennis.

Not only is Frank mistaken for the father, but Dennis’ dialogue as a whole really insists on this in multiple points. But again let’s go in order.

Discussing his motivations and intentions:

Mac: ”I mean, maybe God is testing us.” Dee: “He's not gonna do anything. This is a classic cry for help.”

Plus, this episode feels like a writers’ room. When they say stuff like:

Charlie: “It doesn't matter if he wants to or he doesn't want to. He's not gonna die falling from that height.” Dennis: “Whoa. Hard disagree, pal. You could absolutely die if you jump from that height.”

This to me sounds equally about RCG discussing the choice for themselves (implying they did at one point consider outright killing Dennis, or at least argued the theoreticals of it in the writers room, as in “would he actually even die with a decision like that?”) as it is the characters arguing the ND thing in the metaphorical sense, with Dennis insisting that a jump would be fatal while the gang thinks he’s completely fine. So, again, the jump represents him moving to North Dakota, as we’ll see.

Also, in general, the whole episode sounds like RCG arguing over whether they should pull the plug on their own show or not (”become a suicide bar”, because again, without Dennis there is no show, if he chooses death, so does the show), RCG themselves stuck in Dennis’ choice. In particular with the whole “Could he? Would he? (choose one or the other?) Should we?”.

But in addition to this, the algorithm, actually algorithms in general, are once again something that Dennis uses regularly to solve his own problems (D.E.N.N.I.S system, hello), which is his downfall.

Dennis: “Based on the analytical conclusions that we draw here, we're gonna be able to come up with a mathematically-accurate, non-emotional answer to all of our questions. Okay? We just need to think like a computer.”

Speaking of rationality vs feelings.

Mac: “Let's not bring science into it. Okay? I mean, this is life or death. This is God's territory. All right? I mean, there is no science.”

Now, this is very important because it allows me to talk about another thing. If it hadn’t been clear enough by now, this choice Dennis is presented with is also one between rationality and feelings.

Choosing to care for your son and move to ND, that is the rational choice, and rational is everything Dennis has always tried to be, especially in this episode and in Global Warming (which also mentions God a lot!).

But throughout s12-13-14, as I have highlighted in this post so far, we have seen where Dennis’ heart lies, his feelings.

It is funny to notice that both in Global Warming and in Jumper, Mac is the half who keeps arguing for the side of religion, of faith, of feelings, while Dennis keeps arguing for the side of rationality, of objectivity, always wanting to keep feelings completely out of the equation.

Dennis: “I think I have a way that we can solve this argument without human emotion mucking it all up.”

Then:

Charlie: “I think what we learned is that there's no way that the jumper's gonna die from this height. You know? So there's no reason for us to do anything about it.”

Once again the gang not recognizing the gravity of the situation and choosing inaction, to which Dennis seems unsure and wants to do more testing.

Ok so, here’s where things get interesting, the biggest parallel links between Dennis and Bryan are brought to light as they are looking through his social media.

“Yeah, it looks like he likes to travel. He was recently on a cruise.”

Referring to how Dennis actually liked being in another man’s skin in general, and he was recently away to do just that.

The Gang: “Okay, so it looks like he's got a lot to live for.” “He's eating food.” Dennis: “Or-or-or is he? Because is-is that just what he wants you to believe?”

Once again it’s Dennis counterarguing, specifically on the points that sound most like himself, though this irony is lost on him. This also once again sounds like RCG discussing Dennis as a character and how the choice would actually impact him and has impacted him.

Generally, speaking about Dennis, everyone thought he was gonna be fine because on the surface, his choice in the s12 finale sounds like a pretty sweet deal, and exactly what Dennis has supposedly wanted ever since The Gang Misses The Boat, though even that episode itself proves that it simply isn’t what is right for him.

“He's hardly a child, but he's still hanging on to his youth. That suggests to me that maybe he's got some daddy issues. Abandonment, abuse.”

All things that perfectly apply to Dennis and that give us interesting insight on him.

“But recently the girlfriend, she's disappeared from his pictures, which tells me that, uh, she probably broke up with him, you know, because of all his father issues, and 'cause he's an alcoholic, and because of the copious requests for butt-eating, which, she was thinking was more of a one-time thing, and he was thinking, this is a thing now, like, from now on.”

Disregarding Dennis’ surprisingly canonical love for getting his butt ate, lol (despite how that could count as more indication of where his true feelings lie, knowing RCG and what their writing intentions might be), he brings out alcoholism out of seemingly nowhere, another thing that again confirms the link between Dennis and the jumper, Bryan.

Dennis: “Basically, what we've concluded is that it would actually be good for the bar if this guy jumps and dies. So the answer to the question of "should we get involved?" is actually yes. [...] You see, we've already established that this guy wants to die and that it would actually benefit our bar if he dies. Now, of course, from an emotional standpoint, we feel as though we should get involved, we feel as though we should save this guy, but the algorithm is actually telling us that that does not benefit anybody.”

This feels to me like Dennis realizing mid discussion that he should pick rationality aka Death, for the greater good, but being emotionally incapable of actually making that choice because of his feelings, and so implicitly pleading the gang to help him do it, to get involved and push him.

It also sounds like RCG coming to the conclusion that the algorithm, aka the show’s FORMULA, is telling them that Dennis ending up in the bad option of said choice is what would normally happen in a show like sunny, although they themselves don’t really want to go through with it.

Charlie: “Can I say something, though? I think this is for the best. You know what I mean? Like, we were going down a road I was not totally comfortable with.” Dee: “You guys want to go back to watching our show?” Charlie: “Let's get back to our show.”

So, a couple of things here. The jumper does not jump, he chooses life, which implies the same fate for Dennis. Coincidentally, pay attention to how the gang calls it “our” show, not like, “that” show, because this is, at the same time, RCG being glad of the decision to not end the show and kill Dennis off.

But here’s where things get real FUN, because the Melon is also used as a metaphor for sunny. Generally speaking, smashing it would’ve been ending it, it’s not a coincidence that the melon represents the jumper, they’re all one and the same.

Cricket: “Guys, why the hell are you wasting a perfectly good casaba melon?”

Why end a show that is doing perfectly fine?

Frank: “Where's my melon? Where's my casaba?” Dennis: “It's right here, man. Why do you care so much about this thing? What is the deal?” Frank: “It's where I stash my Maui Kush.” Charlie: “You hide your weed in a casaba melon?” Frank: “Yeah. In case the cops ransack the place, you got to find a good, unsuspecting spot to stash your drugs.” Mac: “Pot's pretty much legal now. You don't really have to stash it anywhere.” Charlie: “I don't think you have to hide it, man.” Frank: “When did that happen?”

Ok so, this might be the most speculative point I’m going to bring up, but I will anyway, because it’s my post and I do what I want. I think they’re talking about gay subtext here. It is simply something that is kept hidden (thus, subtext, duh), and that they don’t really need to hide anymore. The reason I think this has a metaphorical value is specifically because of how Charlie words “I don’t think you have to hide it, man” which beautifully applies to a Dennis who is still in the closet in the year of the lord 2020, if you catch my drift. Plus the whole situation reads kinda with a weird vibe in general, almost forced. You have to consider that they chose to include this dialogue over stuff like Frank bragging to Dennis about meeting Jackie DeNardo. He doesn’t bring her up at all, actually.

Mac: “Maybe that's, like, part of the problem of taking the humanity out of decisions.” Dennis: “Perhaps the science just isn't there yet.”

They acknowledge that any choice should be made following your feelings, not like a machine, and Dennis agrees with the point. Now, I don’t know about you, but to me Dennis agreeing that sometimes considering feelings in certain situations is necessary is something HUGE. Of course it is for the thesis I’m arguing, as it implies Dennis following his feelings when making the decision he is currently weighted by, and we know where those stand, but it is huge just in general, also. Dennis usually doesn’t do feelings, at least, he tries to repress them usually.

Cricket: “Where did we land on the casaba?” Dennis: “I think you can eat it, man. I think we're done with it.”

Basically, with the tinkering over, and a decision being made by RCG, they can hand it to Cricket (David Hornsby) to write the season finale.

Episode 9: A Woman’s Right To Chop

The salon’s insigna, pictured above.

This episode is full with dennis/sunny meta (which doubles as abortion meta, so bear with me), but it also has a son=death link once again, as “Poppins” is pregnant and were she to have the puppies (which are later directly used as a metaphor for Brian Jr as I already quoted in this post when explaining why Dennis could technically return to ND) she would die.

Poppins himself is linked to Dennis metaphorically, and as we all know it is a dog that simply does not die.

Mac: “Poppins! He came back! My dog came back!” Dennis: “How the hell is that dog still alive?” Dee: “Yeah, Mac, why don't you just put that poor thing out of its misery?” Mac: “Put him down? What, are you crazy? This is my dog, Dee. I love him.” Dee: “Well, he doesn't love you. Comes around every three or four years, eats a bunch of batteries or whatever, takes a giant dump on the floor, and then leaves again.” Mac: “Dee, Poppins comes and goes as he pleases 'cause that's his right as a male.”

Once again Mac is responsible for keeping him alive, and he does so because he loves him. As for “he doesn’t love you”, I mean, it’s Dee, the Gang’s perspective, of course they think that. They also thought Dennis had no feelings. But we know he does, they are why he came back after all.

Dennis: “And if we decide to leave, we're gonna leave. Yeah, 'cause that's nature. That's tradition.” Dee: “That's bullshit. Traditional roles are ridiculous, and they're made up by men.”

The episode discouraging the option of leaving from Dennis.

Now, cutting hair (while yes, abortion stuff, I’m not talking about that here) can also be interpreted as both a metaphor for ending the show, or Dennis cutting ties entirely. It works for all of them.

Dennis: “With luxurious locks like yours, it could take, oh, three, four years to grow back to its current length. Yeah, if it ever grows back.”

Ending the show with all the risks that it would imply, because it could take a while for them to get another show to get off the ground and a new thriving fanbase (years to grow back hair), that is, if it ever happens.

With relationships as established as those Dennis has, it could take years for him to find other people he can be close with, that is, if he ever finds them.

Dee: “Will you please leave these poor women alone? They're clearly bored and lonely and needing to do something extreme in order to make themselves feel special.”

That just screams “reason why Dennis went to ND” to me.

It’s also funny to consider that the episode as a whole is about choice.

And it’s also interesting that in this scenario Dennis is arguing to stop them from having the choice of “ruining their life”, which sounds rather dramatic and also like a lot of self projection on his part.

Reading the script, it also came to me that other people having a say in whether a haircut is made or not sounds like fans having a say in whether a show ends or not, so there’s that.

So, the burping in this episode is a metaphor for emotional pain.

In this case, Dee wants to get the haircut simply because she can, without understanding the ramifications of her actions, and this upsets Frank who actually does understands. He once had long beautiful hair, cut it and gave it away, and it never grew back. This fits in all three metaphorical perspectives, once again. In the end she ends up getting a haircut anyway, despite people trying to stop her, and ends up with a substitute wig that looks pretty much the same.

Dee: “I'm getting the haircut. I'm getting it.” Frank: “Don't do it, Deandra. You'll regret it! I'm telling you!” Car salesman: “What was that all about?” Frank: “Just trying to save a life.”

This is yes, a metaphor about adoption instead of abortion, but it doubles as Dennis meta for everything else we have discussed.

Not cutting, not jumping, not running away, is saving a life. It all works towards the same message without neglecting the episode’s main message.

All in all, I feel like the parallels and metaphors in this episode are only surface level, and the rest works to make the plot and the abortion stuff make sense. It is still significant though, it’s there.

Episode 10: Waiting For Big Mo

Not even gonna try to make sense of all the metaphors in here as I don’t even think they necessarily make sense at all.

The point of it all here is simple, and it is once again sunny meta as much as it is Dennis meta, which ends up being very important.

They always play the game guarding the base, never letting themselves have fun but following a clear formula (word actually used in the episode), because that is simply what has always worked. They have it down to a science.

Yet the desire to have fun keeps messing with it, getting them lower on the leaderboard, and so on so forth.

Dennis is afraid that this will bring on a death, if they can’t guard their base from Big Mo, so he keeps discouraging fun, and asks people to stay on track, manipulates them to reach this goal, even if it makes him miserable.

This is about Dennis keeping his perfected facade instead of following his feelings as much as it is about RCG following the formula instead of having fun with it. For Dennis, the goal of doing this is being perceived as perfect, being accepted, belonging. For RCG, the goal was winning an emmy and staying relevant.

So the episode starts by painting having fun (feelings in Dennis’ case) as something that will bring an inevitable death, which must be how it felt to RCG (if you don’t follow the formula they’ll cancel your show) and how it felt to Dennis (who knows what would happen if you opened up), which is what led him to make the wrong choice in the first place, to avoid getting hurt.

Except the episode then proceeds to make fun of that very notion:

Mac: “Who cares if we're losing?” Charlie: “Dennis said, like, if we leave the base, death is gonna come in the form of a fat kid who's gonna turn us into fart ghosts or something like that. So I got to stay.” Mac: “What?” Charlie: “It sounds crazy now that I'm saying it. Dennis explained it a lot more better. Dennis, we can't leave the base, right? That's the deal?” Dennis: “No. Frank was right. Rutherford B. Crazy's real name was Larry Takashi. Yeah, and he was the founder and owner of Laser Tag Fun Zone. Well, apparently, he killed himself.”

In the episode, Frank is the first to reveal the news to Dennis, and he doesn’t believe him. Up until that point in the ep, he had been using Rutherford/Larry (is it a coincidence that he also has two names? I’ll let you decide) as inspiration for himself and to keep going with his plan to win, the guy was always working towards his goal tirelessly, never having fun. His family hated him, he had no friends, he was completely alone. He died alone and miserable.

This part of the episode in particular feels very heavy, as we notice that Dennis (and it isn’t random that he’s the one having this revelation) is the only one who’s sitting, looking visibly shocked.

Now, Larry Takashi is based on Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. This isn’t only obvious because of the first name, but also because Larry was the person who Rob met that convinced him to not end the show.

He said this to Rob:

“Don’t be an idiot. Never stop. Just keep doing it. One, because it’s the greatest job you could ever want and two, because if you do a final episode they’ll just destroy you for it.“

So it’s easy to assume that this character is an homage to him.

Anyway, Dennis has this realization, and it feels important that he’s the one having it, as the whole season has been subtly about him and his choice, him feeling like he has to be a father but secretly wanting to be Mac’s “leading man”.

Dennis: “I mean, the guy was miserable. But he spent his life building this empire, and it all meant nothing? Shit. So Rutherford be rich. Rutherford be successful as all hell. But you know what else Rutherford be? Rutherford be right. Because it all means nothing if you're not enjoying it.”

This works both ways, and is the right message, but it then gets twisted into “choosing death on our own terms”, obviously for the sake of tricking the audience with a fake finale; as we now know, they have actually chosen life. The dialogue continues to be specifically about sunny.

And with that, it segues into the fake finale, with them saying “time to end the game”, “goodbye base” and all of that.

And it seems like with that they’re giving up, accepting death as something that will happen regardless, ending the show. Saying “screw it, we won’t let others cancel our show, we’ll end it on our terms if that needs to happen”. Or in Dennis’ case “If I’m gonna have to live a miserable life might as well directly kill myself” as, again, so far the implied death of choosing Brian has been METAPHORICAL, the death of Dennis’ identity. Not, you know, real.

Whereas the show ending would imply his eventual real death.

But that’s not how it ends.

“Oh, what? You thought we'd gone? You'd like that, wouldn't you? We ain't going anywhere. We're never leaving, you little piece of shit.”

They’re never leaving. And so, by progression of the metaphor, neither is Dennis, of course, which implies the choice of the other option. Dennis, Life, Love, Mac.

So as the show chooses to live forever, then so should Dennis also choose the option for life, and everything that it implies with it.

And this is why all of this talk about meta and symbolism was very important for me to make, because this is the logical conclusion I have reached.

Logically speaking, for me, this is where all the signs seem to be pointing, and that’s very exciting.

Because as RCG chooses to keep their show alive, they are also choosing to have real fun with it, and this seems to imply that they won’t stick to the formula as closely.

So in a way, Big Mo, as this fake finale, does end up representing the end of sunny as we know it, if I’m reading into it correctly. It ends up being a proper finale and send off, but sunny is not over because of it. Only the one we are used to, whatever that means.

So not only is Dennis choosing that, but it seems RCG might be taking some real artistic liberties or whatever, not be afraid to sink down in the leaderboards anymore but simply do what they please.

So... macdennis? Well, come back to me in a year and we’ll find out together. That is another reason why I made this post after all, to look back at it in the future and see just how wrong or right I was.

Let’s see how Rob chooses to embrace sunny.

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #analysis #macdennis #macden #meta #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #season 14

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abusybuzzingbee · 4 years

Text

Skin | Supernatural Season 1 Episode 6 Rewrite | Dean x Fem!Reader

A/N: this gif is SAUCY i should not find it as attractive as I do

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Major Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester

Warnings: canon level violence, language, Dean and the reader being assholes to each other TW: shifter calls the reader some pretty terrible things that may be triggering to some readers. if you tend to have self-deprecating thoughts, you may not want to read this episode. also, heavy topics mentioned in a fight between Dean and the reader

Word Count: 7,547

Summary: The boys and the reader head to St. Louis, Missouri when Sam gets an email about one of his college buddies. Tensions continue to rise between Dean and the reader following their dispute in Toledo, Ohio.

Series Masterlist

Season 1 Masterlist

Click here for the series playlist!

Dean unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face Sam. “Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.”

Sam did not respond to him.

“Sam wears women’s underwear.”

“I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy,” Sam answered, never looking up from his phone as he scrolled through it.

“Busy doin’ what?”

“Reading e-mails.”

The older brother got out of the car and began to fill up the Impala’s gas tank. “E-mails from who?”

“From my friends at Stanford.”

“You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?”

“Why not?” Sam shrugged.

“Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?”

“I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.”

“Oh, so you lie to ‘em.”

You picked at your nails as you sat in the backseat. “What else is he supposed to do? Say, ‘Hey, I’m hunting ghosts’?”

“I get why he’s lying, I’m not tellin’ him to tell the truth.”

Sam looked over to Dean. “So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?”

Dean shrugged.

“You’re serious?”

“Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period,” Dean answered.

“Oh, whatever.” You flopped back onto the leather seat.

"You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?” Sam told his brother.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean shook his head.

The younger Winchester went back to his emails.

“God…” he trailed off.

“What?”

“In this e-mail from this girl, Rebecca Warren, one of those friends of mine.”

“Is she hot?”

You scoffed. “Really, Dean?”

“I went to school with her, and her brother, Zack,” Sam explained. “She says Zack’s been charged with murder. He’s been arrested for killing his girlfriend. Rebecca says he didn’t do it, but it sounds like the cops have a pretty good case.”

Dean paused. “Dude, what kind of people are you hangin’ out with?”

"No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.”

"Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.”

“They’re in St. Louis. We’re goin’.”

Dean leaned down into the passenger’s side window, chuckling, “Look, sorry ‘bout your buddy, okay? But this does not sound like our kind of problem.”

“It is our problem,” Sam argued. “They’re my friends.”

“St. Louis is four hundred miles behind us, guys.”

“So?” you questioned.

You and Dean exchanged annoyed looks before he got in the car and pulled away.

***

“Dude, this house belongs in the Hills,” you told Sam as you took in the large two-story house that sat on a beautifully manicured lawn.

He chuckled at your comment. “This one’s no big deal compared to some of my other friends’ houses. You should’ve seen Jess’s parents’ house.”

You smiled faintly. “I bet it was beautiful.”

Sam nodded, mirroring your expression. He knocked on the wood of the large front door which opened to reveal a pretty girl with blonde hair.

“Oh my God, Sam!” she exclaimed.

“Well, if it isn’t little Becky,” he replied.

‘Little Becky?’ you thought.

“You know what you can do with that ‘little Becky’ crap,” she grinned. The two of them hugged.

“I got your e-mail,” he explained to her.

“I didn’t think that you would come here,” she said.

Dean took the opportunity to step in. “Dean. Older brother.” He extended his hand to her.

She shook it. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I’m (Y/N), I’m a family friend,” you said, effectively pulling her eyes away from Dean as you shook her hand. You were not about to watch him eye-fuck one of Sam’s friends.

“We’re here to help,” Sam told her. “Whatever we can do.”

“Come in.”

Becky led you three into the house.

“Nice place,” Dean commented as he looked around at the tall ceilings and seemingly expensive furniture.

“It’s my parents’. I was just crashing here for the long weekend when everything happened. I decided to take the semester off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free.”

“Where are your folks?”

“They live in Paris for half the year--” Becky replied.

‘Of course, they do. Wasps.’

“--so they’re on their way home now for the trial. Do you guys want a beer or something?” she asked as she led you into the kitchen.

The older Winchester smiled. “Hey--”

Sam cut him off. “No, thanks. So, tell us what happened.”

“Well, um, Zack came home, and he found Emily tied to a chair. And she was beaten up and bloody, and she wasn’t breathing.” Becky began to tear up. “So, he called 911, and the police—they showed up, and they arrested him. But, the thing is, the only way that Zack could’ve killed Emily is if he was in two places at the same time. The police—they have a video. It’s from the security tape from across the street. And it shows Zack coming home at 10:30. Now, Emily was killed just after that, but I swear, he was here with me, having a few beers until at least after midnight.”

“You know, maybe we could see the crime scene,” Sam suggested. “Zack’s house.”

“We could,” Dean agreed.

“Why? I mean, what could you do?”

“Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop.”

Dean laughed. “Detective, actually.”

‘Oh, great.’

“Really?” Becky’s eyes sparkled. “Where?”

“Bisbee, Arizona,” he lied."But I’m off-duty now.”

“You guys, it’s so nice to offer, but I just—I don’t know.”

Sam tried to convince her. “Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go get the keys.” She walked away from you three down the hall.

As soon as she was out of sight, Dean turned to his brother. “Oh, yeah, man, you’re a real straight shooter with your friends.”

“Look, Zack and Becky need our help,” Sam countered.

“I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.”

“Two places at once? We’ve looked into less.”

Dean still was not completely convinced.

“Sounds a little bit like our gig, Dean,” you pressed further.

He said nothing but looked defeated.

You and Sam smiled at each other.

***

You and the boys stood next to Becky by the Impala. You stared out at the small, white house blocked off by yellow and black tape.

“You’re sure this is okay?” Becky asked Dean.

“Yeah. I am an officer of the law.”

You rolled your eyes at Dean’s unconvincing tone. ‘Good grief.’

Dean led the way up to the house, ducking under the tape, followed by you and then Sam.

Despite how frequently you work jobs, the sight of a gruesome crime scene always made you sick to your stomach.

Blood was splattered everywhere. It stained the newspapers on the coffee table, the knocked-over lamp in the corner of the living room, and the picture frame that hung tilted to the side.

“Bec, you wanna wait outside?” Sam asked her as she stood on the other side of the tape.

You looked over at the young woman. She had one arm wrapped around her stomach and one hand over her heart. The blonde steeled herself despite her obvious discomfort. “No, I wanna help.”

“Tell us what else the police said,” Sam prompted.

“Well, there’s no sign of a break-in,” she started tearfully. “They say that Emily let her attacker in. The lawyers—they’re already talking about a plea bargain.” Becky looked around her, more tears rising to the surface as she did so. “Oh, God….”

“Look, Bec, if Zack didn’t do this, it means someone else did. Any idea who?”

The blonde shook her head, but then a look of remembrance crossed her face. “Um, there was something, about a week before. Somebody broke in here and stole some clothes—Zack’s clothes. The police—they don’t think it’s anything. I mean, we’re not that far from downtown. Sometimes people get robbed.”

Sam and Dean walked away from you and Becky. The blonde followed after Dean as he went to the front door. Apparently, he was looking at the neighbor’s dog as you gathered from what Becky told him next.

“You know, that used to be the sweetest dog.” She looked over his shoulder at the barking animal.

“What happened?” he asked.

"He just changed.”

“Do you remember when he changed?”

“I guess around the time of the murder.”

Dean looked back at her before walking away.

You went to the kitchen to meet Sam. He was looking at something posted to the fridge door.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” you asked the boy.

He gestured the picture in front of him. It was of himself, Zack, and Becky.

“You were really close to these guys, huh?”

“Yeah,” he nodded sadly.

“I’m sorry you had to leave all this behind,” you stated.

He shook his head. “It’s okay.”

Dean walked up behind you and his younger brother. “So, the neighbor’s dog went psycho right around the time Zack’s girlfriend was killed.”

“Animals can have a sharp sense of the paranormal,” Sam noted.

“Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’,” Dean affirmed.

“So, you think maybe this is our kind of problem?”

No. Probably not. But we should look at the security tape, you know, just to make sure.”

“You just can’t admit when you’re wrong, huh?”

“Nope,” he grinned.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

Becky walked over to you.

“So, the tape. The security footage—you think maybe your lawyers could get their hands on it, ‘cause I just don’t have that kind of jurisdiction,” Dean told her.

“I’ve already got it. I didn’t wanna say something in front of the cop,” she explained.

The older brother laughed.

“I stole it off the lawyer’s desk. I just had to see it for myself.”

“Right on,” you grinned.

***

Once you got back to Becky’s parents’ house, the four of you sat down to watch the security footage.

The screen showed the front of Zack’s house lit up in the dark night by the lights on either side of the door.

“Here he comes,” Becky said just as Zack appeared on screen.

Dean noted the timestamp. “22:04, that’s just after ten. You said time of death was about 10:30.”

“Our lawyers hired some kind of video expert. He says the tape’s authentic. It wasn’t tampered with.”

“Hey, Bec, can we take those beers now?” Sam questioned.

“Oh, sure,” she answered. She got up from the couch to go to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Sam stopped her. “Maybe some sandwiches, too?”

“What do you think this is, Hooters?” she joked with a grin. She left the room shortly after.

“I wish,” Dean chuckled. “What is it?”

“Check this out.” Sam rewound the tape and replayed it. One of the frames showed Zack looking right at the camera, but his eyes had an unnatural silver color to them.

“Well, maybe it’s just a camera flare,” Dean pointed out.

“That’s not like any camera flare I’ve ever seen. You know, a lot of cultures believe that a photograph can catch a glimpse of the soul,” Sam began.

“Right,” you affirmed. “Remember how that dog completely freaked? Maybe he could sense this was some sort of a dark double of Zack’s.”

“Like a Doppelganger,” Sam added.

“Yeah. It’d sure explain how he was two places at once.”

***

Despite how you and Dean were not verbally attacking each other constantly, the tension between the two of you was stronger than ever. He did not trust you, and you were still pissed at him for what he said to you.

Back at the motel, you hoped a shower would help clear your mind. You turned the water on and began to sing to yourself.

‘Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night and

Wouldn't you love to love her?’

You used to love listening to Fleetwood Mac with your mother. “Rihannon” was one of her favorite songs.

‘Takes to the sky like a bird in flight and

Who will be her lover?’

Both you and your mother had beautiful voices. The two of you loved to sing to one of her cassette tapes together. “Rihannon” was one of those songs that when you sang it with her it would make you feel genuine peace. With the life you led, moments of peace were few and far between.

‘All your life you've never seen

A woman taken by the wind’

One of your favorite memories with your mother was riding in her beat-up station wagon on a highway in West Texas. The sun was just beginning to set, the windows were rolled down, and the wind whipped through your hair. The shadows of the dense trees on either side of the road made shapes appear on your face with patches of light shining through the holes in the shadows. You were sixteen at the time. The two of you took this rare moment alone to sing together, simply enjoying each other’s company.

‘Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?’

You scrubbed your scalp as you rinsed the soap out of your hair, closing your eyes in an attempt to bring yourself back to that day.

‘She is like a cat in the dark and then

She is the darkness

She rules her life like a fine skylark and when

The sky is starless’

If you could have your mom back, for even just a moment, maybe you would be able to feel that same peace again. You would feel safe and protected. The day before her passing was the last time you felt truly at peace.

‘All your life you've never seen

A woman taken by the wind’

Tears clouded your vision and your throat constricted as you continued to sing.

‘Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?

Will you ever win?’

***

A loud knock on your door pulled you out of your deep sleep.

You jumped, grabbing for the gun you kept under your pillow. You cocked it, walked up to the door, and pressed the muzzle of the gun against it. You opened it with your opposite hand just a crack. To your surprise, it was Dean.

You slammed it back in his face.

“(Y/N), open the damn door,” he demanded unenthusiastically.

You did not, but put the safety back on your gun and threw it on your bed. “What do you want, asshole? It’s almost five in the morning.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that. Look, I don’t wanna be up either. It was Sam’s idea,” he explained.

You opened the door just a crack. “Okay, what does he want at almost five in the morning?”

“I don’t know, he just had a thought, I guess.” Despite the fact that you were asking completely fair questions, his tone showed he was clearly agitated. “Get dressed.”

***

“Alright, so what are we doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning?” Dean questioned. He leaned against the hood of the Impala which was parked outside of Zack’s house.

“I realized something,” Sam stated. “The videotape shows the killer goin’ in, but not comin’ out.”

You walked over to the younger of the two brothers who was across the street from the car. “So, he came out the back door?”

"Right. So, there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never pursue.”

“‘Cause they think the killer never left, and they caught Zack inside,” you added.

“I still don’t know what we’re doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning,” Dean grumbled.

Both you and Sam chose to ignore him as you looked around outside of the building.

“Blood,” you noted as you looked at a smear on a wooden telephone pole. “Somebody came this way.”

“Yeah, but the trail ends. I don’t see anything over here,” he said before taking a sip of his coffee.

An ambulance blared its sirens as it sped down the street that separated you and Sam from Dean.

You looked up at Sam, who exchanged a knowing look with Dean.

Dean drove the three of you over to where you assumed the ambulance was coming from. He parked a few houses down from a house that was surrounded by police cars. One policeman was covering the house with yellow and black tape.

You got out of the Impala, watching as a man in a suit was handcuffed and shoved into the back of a police car.

Dean walked a few paces ahead of you, stopping next to one of the onlookers. She looked as if she had been going for a jog when she stumbled upon the crime scene, as her hair was tied back and she had an MP3 played secured to her arm.

“What happened?” he asked her.

“He tried to kill his wife. Tied her up and beat her,” she informed him.

Sam tore his attention away from the house and turned to the woman.“Really?”

“I used to see him going to work in the morning. He’d wave, say ‘hello.’ He seemed like such a nice guy.” The young woman shook her head.

You watched as the cop car with the supposed killer in it drove off.

The three of you decided to stay at the scene of the crime to dig around. You and Sam walked around the back of the house, looking for any sort of a clue. Sam lifted the lid on one of the two blue garbage cans behind the house.

“Why are you dumpster diving?” you asked Sam. “I don’t think the killer’s hiding in there.”

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “I don’t know, I’m just looking for... anything. I don’t really know what to look for.”

“Yeah, me neither,” you told him as the two of you walked around to the front of the house.

Dean came up behind Sam a moment later. “Hey.”

The two of you turned around.

“Remember when I said this wasn’t our kind of problem?”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded.

“Definitely our kind of problem.”

“What’d you find out?” Sam questioned.

“Well, I just talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene, heard this guy, Alex’s story. Apparently, the dude was driving home from a business trip when his wife was attacked,” he informed you.

“So, he was two places at once,” Sam affirmed.

“Exactly. Then he sees himself in the house, police think he’s a nutjob.”

“Two dark doubles attacking loved ones in exactly the same way.”

“Could be the same thing doin’ it, too.”

You thought for a second. “Shapeshifter?”

Dean shrugged.

“Dude, bear with me on this one. It’s something that can make itself look like anyone.”

“Yeah, I got that part,” he replied.

“Every culture in the world has shapeshifter lore. You know, legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men,” Sam added.

“Right. Skinwalkers, werewolves,” you continued.

“We’ve got two attacks within blocks of each other. I’m guessin’ we’ve got a shapeshifter prowlin’ the neighborhood,” the younger brother went on.

“Shapeshifters aren’t exactly known for flying--” you started as you headed off back behind the building, “--so I think it’s safe to say that I found a trail back there. Someone ran out the back of this building and headed off this way.” you pointed down the street.

“Just like your friend’s house,” Dean told Sam.

“Yeah. And, just like at Zack’s house, the trail suddenly ends. I mean, whatever it is just disappeared,” you noted.

“Well, there’s another way to go—down,” the older Winchester pointed out.

You looked down to where the trail ended to find a manhole.

The three of you climbed down the ladder into the hole, looking around the dark cavern.

“I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too,” Sam commented. “The shapeshifter could be using the sewer system to get around.”

You went to take a step but stopped yourself when you looked at what you were about to walk into. You bent down, examining the pile of what appeared to be blood and skin.

“Is this from his victims?” Sam asked as he, too, bent down.

You took out your pocketknife, picking up some of the skin with the end of the blade. “Gross.”

“You know, I just had a sick thought,” Dean piped up. “When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.”

You looked back to see Sam’s nose scrunch up further as he thought about what Dean had said. “That is sick.”

You shook the skin off of your knife, wiping it off on Dean’s jacket.

“Hey!” He swatted your arm away.

You snickered.

“C’mon, you two,” Sam commanded with a groan as he made his way up the ladder.

Sam and Dean followed close behind you as you headed to the car. You leaned on the side of it as Dean popped open the trunk.

“Well, one thing I learned from Dad, is that no matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there’s one sure way to kill it.”

“Silver bullet to the heart,” Sam nodded. A moment later, his phone rang. “This is Sam... We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some things out...” He mouthed Becky’s name to you to let you know who was on the phone. His expression changed a moment later to one of confusion. “What are you talkin’ about?... Why would you do that?” Suddenly, he seemed irritated. “Bec—... We’re tryin’ to help... Bec, I’m sorry, but—” He was cut off when she hung up on him.

“What was that all about?” you asked.

“She found out about Dean.”

“What, how he’s not a detective?”

“Yep.”

“I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about,” Dean jumped in. “You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’s just--it’d be easier if--”

Sam understood where his brother was going with his statement. "If I was like you.”

“Hey, man, like it or not, we are not like other people. But I’ll tell you one thing. This whole gig—it ain’t without perks.” He held up a gun with a smirk.

***

The three of you headed back down the manhole, walking down the cavernous hallway with flashlights and guns in hand.

“I think we’re close to its lair,” you told Sam.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because there’s another puke-inducing pile next to your face,” you grinned.

“Oh, God!” he cried as he turned to see skin and blood on the pipe not two inches from his face.

Dean noticed a pile of clothes in the corner. “Looks like it’s lived here for a while.”

“Who knows how many murders he’s gotten away with?” Sam shook his head.

You heard a small splash in a puddle behind Dean. You whipped around and aimed your flashlight at the sound, seeing the shifter in the form of the businessman.

“Dean!” Sam shouted.

He wheeled around only to get punched in the face by the shifter. Dean toppled to the ground as the shifter ran away from you and the boys.

Sam shot after it a few times, but he missed. You tore down the corridor after it, not even once taking a look at Dean.

“Get the son of a bitch!” Dean yelled after you.

“That’s the idea, jackass!” you called back. You watched as the shifter climbed out of the manhole you and the Winchesters had used to get into the sewers. You scrambled up the ladder as quickly as you could, popping out of the ground and gazing out into the dark night.

You could just barely see the shifter at this point. You followed where you thought you had seen him turn. You held your gun inside your jacket, eyes focused on the alleyway you saw the shifter turn into. You pressed your back against the brick wall of the shop on the right of the alley before turning into it. You shined your flashlight down the dark alley, walking into it a few paces. The all too familiar smell of coconuts and tobacco filled your nose. When the beam of light hit the wall of the building along the back of the alley, you turned around, only to see the shifter in the form of the businessman staring directly at you. Before you could so much as aim your gun at it, it hit you over the head. Your vision went completely dark.

***

You woke up to an unfamiliar sight. The shifter had taken you to his lair; a cold, damp, dimly lit room in what seemed to be a house. You groaned before attempting to stand up, only to get choked by a rope that had been secured around your neck and pulled back by ropes around your hands. The shifter had tied you to a wooden post.

‘Brilliant,’ you thought.

You heard muffled voices behind you, one that sounded like it was Dean’s.

“Dean?” you called.

“(Y/N), it’s not--” Sam shouted, but cut himself off with a groan.

“Dean” walked over to you.

“Hiya, sweetheart,” he smirked, leaning down to your eye level. He put a hand next to your head on the post.

“Dean, the rope around my neck, it’s too tight,” you lied, struggling against the ropes. You pretended like your throat was constricted by making your voice strained. “Help me, please,” you begged.

The shapeshifter chuckled. “How stupid do you think I am?”

You dropped the act. “It was worth a shot,” you mumbled.

“You act like Dean-- I’m sorry, I-- would help you anyway,” he said as he walked away from you.

You looked up at him curiously.

He turned back to face you. “I’m so ready to leave your sorry ass in the dust,” the shifter laughed coldly. “All you’ve done since we met you is cause more trouble for us. I hope you’re tellin’ the truth about leaving the second we find Dad, ‘cause I don’t know how much longer I can put up with you. God, from your voice to your personality, you aggravate the livin’ crap outta me.” The shapeshifter leaned back down in front of your face, the two of you only inches away from one another.

“You’re a burden, (Y/N). You’re exhausting to be around. I constantly have to keep my guard up around you. I can’t trust you, not after what happened in Toledo. How do I know you won’t turn on me and Sammy?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you kept them at bay.

He turned away from you once more. “Sammy... that’s another thing. I hate how close the two of you have gotten. I mean, you roll up in your stolen car and immediately have him wrapped around your finger. He’s so ready to defend you against me. Maybe that’s why I hate you so much. You’ve replaced me. And sooner or later, you’re gonna take him away from me. Hell, everyone else in my life’s left, why wouldn’t he?”

The shifter took a deep breath, his frustrated expression leaving his face. He replaced it with a smug look as he continued on berating you. “Y’know, take your voice and personality away, Dean would definitely wanna fuck you. He thought you were hot the first time he met you. Then he actually got to know you, and, eh, things changed. But I’m sure he’d have tons of fun with Sam’s little friend Becky.” A wicked grin spread across his face. “I think I’ll go pay her a visit.”

With that, the shapeshifter disappeared.

You heard Sam mutter something, and then someone coughing.

“That better be you, Sam, and not that freak of nature,” you heard Dean call from somewhere in the cavern.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Sam confirmed.

You steeled yourself, trying to push the shifter’s hurtful words out of your mind. “Sam, that thing went to Becky’s carryin’ Dean’s face,” you informed him.

“Well, he’s not stupid. He picked the handsome one,” he told Sam.

“Shut up,” you groaned, trying to wiggle your way out of the ropes around your wrists.

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He didn’t just look like you, he was you,” Sam continued. “Or he was becoming you.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, it was like he was downloading your thoughts and memories.”

“You mean, like the Vulcan mind-meld?”

“Yeah, somethin’ like that. I mean, maybe that’s why he doesn’t just kill us,” Sam suggested.

You heard shuffling behind you, which you assumed was Dean walking over to Sam.

“Hey, jackass, you passed me up,” you yelled at Dean.

“I know,” he called back to you. He went back to his conversation with Sam. “Maybe he needs to keep us alive. Psychic connection.”

“Hands,” Sam ordered Dean. “Yeah. Come on, we gotta go. He’s probably at Rebecca’s already.”

“I’m still stuck here!”

Sam came over to help you get the ropes undone. However, Dean could care less about the state you were in.

You found all of the guns the shapeshifter had stolen off of the three of you, and you tossed each of the guns to their respective owners.

Sam boosted you up to a window high off the ground in the room you were in. You climbed out, “Come on. We gotta find a phone, call the police.” Sam started to head down the street.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dean effectively stopped his brother. “You’re gonna put an APB out on me.”

“Sorry,” Sam grimaced.

“This way.” You took off down the street. The neighborhood you sprinted through was dark, the street lamps so scattered and dimly lit that you could hardly see your feet hit the pavement below you. As you came up on a block full of shops, you slowed your run to a walk as to not draw too much attention in the well-lit area.

You almost headed past a shop with a bunch of televisions set to a news channel in the window, but you stopped when you heard what the reporter was relaying to the audience.

“An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home.”

A sketch of Dean appeared on the screen next to the reporter.

“Man! That’s not even a good picture,” Dean piped up from next to you.

You looked around, making sure no one heard Dean’s loud exclamation and got suspicious.

“It’s good enough,” Sam muttered. He quickly walked past the shop to get back in the cover of night on the other side of the strip of stores.

“Man!” Dean grunted as he followed his brother.

“Hush, you big baby,” you snapped.

Sam turned down an alley with you and his older brother falling behind.

“Come on,” Sam urged the two of you quietly. “They said attempted murder. At least we know--”

Dean cut him off. “I didn’t kill her.”

“We’ll check with Rebecca in the morning, see if she’s all right.”

“Alright, but first I wanna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him.”

“Dean,” you started, “We have no weapons. No silver bullets.”

He stopped, turning to face you. "(Y/N), the guy’s walkin’ around with my face, okay, it’s a little personal. I wanna find him.”

“Okay. Where do we look?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

The older Winchester paused for a moment. “Well, we could start with the sewers.”

“We have no weapons, genius. He stole our guns, we need more.”

“The car?” Sam offered.

You shrugged. “He probably drove it over to Rebecca’s.”

“The news said he fled on foot. I bet it’s still parked there.”

"The thought of him drivin’ my car,” Dean snarled.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Alright, come on.”

“It’s killin’ me,” the older brother whined.

“Let it go.”

***

As you walked up the street on the right side of Becky’s house, you noticed the silhouette of the car outlined by the dim light of the street lamp.

“Oh, there she is!” Dean exclaimed happily, the relief in his voice evident. “Finally, something went right tonight.”

A police car appeared around the corner and parked next to the Impala.

“Oh, shit,” you muttered. You turned around, beginning to run away, but another cop car was parked across the street at the intersection you had come from.

This way, this way.” Dean headed toward a fence.

“You go. I’ll hold ‘em off,” Sam told you and his brother.

“What are you talking about? They’ll catch you,” the older Winchester said.

“Look, they can’t hold me. Just go, keep out of sight,” the brunet urged. “Meet me at Rebecca’s.”

“You got it, chief,” you called back.

Dean was the first to hop the fence and you followed. You stumbled upon landing in the backyard of the house you happened upon.

The voice of a police officer broke through the silent night as you and Dean started off to the fence on the backside of the yard. “Don’t move! Keep your hands where I can see ‘em.”

You climbed over the fence into the backyard of another house and ran around the left side of it to head down the street the cop car was parked at the intersection of. The two of you stayed out of the glow of the lamp lights that lined either side of the road as you ran along.

When you had gotten several blocks over from where you had that run-in with the cops, you and Dean stopped to catch your breath. You both sat down on the street corner, chests heaving. The older Winchester went to lay back, but you stopped him.

“Hey, stay sittin’ up,” you directed.

“What? Why?”

“You’re gonna pass out if you do.”

“Uh, okay.” He looked at you as if you did not know what you were talking about but still followed your orders.

The two of you sat in silence for a minute.

“So, what now?” you questioned.

He shook his head. “The cops are probably still snoopin’ around Rebecca’s house. Can’t go get the car ‘til they’re cleared out.”

“Yeah, so, what now?” you asked again.

“I don’t know, man,” he grumbled annoyedly. “You got any ideas, Einstein?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t be asking you, dumbass,” you responded snippily. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have a watch on me.”

“Great,” you sighed, standing up. You brushed your hands off on your pants and dusted the back of your jeans off.

“Could go get some burgers,” Dean piped up from his seated position on the grass.

“Your brother just got arrested, and you’re a wanted man, but sure, let’s take you where everybody in the joint’s gonna be able to clearly see your face.”

“Jeez, calm down. It was just a suggestion.”

“Yeah, a dumb one.”

“What’s your deal, (Y/N)?” Dean stood up, and you turned to face him.

“My deal? What about yours?”

“I don’t have one! But you’ve clearly got a stick up your ass.”

You shook your head in frustration. “Dean, don’t lie to me. You have a deal. With me, specifically. The shifter told me all about it.”

The young man tilted his head to the side in question. “What?”

“Yeah, he told me what you really think of me,” you continued. You took a step toward him with each sentence. “How much I annoy you. How much I exhaust you. How much of a burden I am to you.”

His face dropped out of its angry expression as he took a step back.

“He also told me how you think I’m gonna replace you in Sam’s eyes.” You laughed coldly. “Is that why you hate me so much? Because you’re so insecure about your relationship with Sam?”

The fact that Dean did not respond showed you that you were correct.

“I gotta be real with you, that’s pathetic.” You regretted what you said instantly.

The anger returned to his face. “Still think you don’t have a stick up your ass after you say something like that?”

“I’m sorry, I--”

“No. Just shut up.”

He walked off down the street.

Your frustration replaced your guilt in an instant. “Seriously? I say one thing that cuts slightly below surface-level insults and you get butthurt?”

Dean turned around.

You walked up to him. “What I just told you was fucked up, sure. But it wasn’t half as bad as what you said to me back in Toledo. That I probably drove my family crazy enough that they'd kill themselves over it? Does that ring a bell?"

“What do you want me to say, (Y/N)?”

“I want you to apologize, for starters!” you shouted back. Your tone changed to dripping with sarcasm. “Now, I know that would require you to humble yourself and get past your superiority complex, so I understand how difficult that’s gonna be for you.”

“I’m sorry, okay!” he yelled, throwing his arms out to his sides. “And I’m sorry about what that shifter said to you.”

“Thank you!” You took a moment to collect yourself. “And I’m sorry, too.”

“Thanks.”

You looked around at the houses that surrounded you on either side of the road the two of you stood in the middle of. “Now that we probably woke up half the neighborhood, let’s bounce.”

Dean chuckled, walking down the street away from you. You caught up to him.

“I don’t know where you think you’re going, we haven’t exactly decided what we’re doing.”

“I’m goin’ back to Becky’s. The cops probably cleared out by now,” he replied.

‘Okay, way to fill me in on what the plan is,” you scoffed.

“I didn’t realize I had to share every little bit of my thought process with you,” Dean clapped back.

“Well, it’s kinda helpful to know what you’re thinkin’ when we’re working together,” you told him.

“Whatever,” Dean brushed you off. “Why does it bug you, anyway? That’s such a stupid thing to fight with me about.”

“I don’t know,” you confessed. “Your face is just annoying.”

“Gee, thanks,” he retorted dryly.

As you approached the car, you noticed the sun had begun to rise.

“I guess that answers the ‘what time is it’ question,” you noted. “It’s probably somewhere around five in the mornin’.”

Dean popped open the trunk, shrugging on the navy blue canvas jacket he found on top of the gun compartment. You grabbed your duffel bag out of the trunk before Dean opened the hollowed-out bottom of the trunk.

You grabbed more silver bullets out of your bag and loaded them into your gun as Dean filtered through the weapons in his trunk.

“Doesn’t look like the shifter took anything,” he told you.

“Alright, to the sewers.” You headed up to the passenger’s seat after haphazardly throwing your bag over Dean’s head back into the trunk.

“Watch it!” Dean scolded. “You almost knocked me out!”

“But I didn’t,” you smirked, ducking down into the front seat.

***

You and Dean pointed your flashlights and guns around the sewer as you walked down the corridor together.

You walked into a chamber filled with candles and chains hanging from the ceiling. You aimed your flashlight at the ground, noticing many piles of shed skin and blood all over the floor. You even noticed a few teeth and fingernails near the pile.

“I’m gonna be sick,” you grimaced, looking up at Dean.

“(Y/N)?” you heard a muffled voice call from the far right corner of the chamber.

“Bec?” you responded, rushing over to a curled up figure covered by a tarp. You pulled the cover off to reveal a disheveled Rebecca, her hands and feet bound with rope.

“Thank God,” she sighed when she saw your face as you began to untie her. The blonde’s face was red, and tears had dried on her face.

Dean came over to the two of you, coming up behind you. “What happened?”

Rebecca started crying again as she spoke. “I was walking home, and everything just went white. Someone hit me over the head, and I wound up here just in time to see that thing turn into me. I don’t know, how is that even possible?”

“It’s okay, you’re okay now,” you coaxed her as you finished untying her binds.

“Come on. Can you walk?” Dean asked as he helped Becky stand up.

She nodded.

“Okay, we’ve gotta hurry. Sam went to see you.”

***

You jumped out of the car before it had even stopped rolling into the half-circle shaped driveway, rushing into Rebecca’s house behind Dean.

You held your gun out in front of you, Dean doing the same and yelling “Hey!” as he entered the living room.

You saw the shifter in the form of Dean jump off of Sam, whom he had previously been strangling. Dean shot the shifter in the chest twice, and it dropped to the ground dead.

You ran over to Sam. “Hey! Hey, are you okay?” you questioned as he slowly sat up, grasping at his neck.

The younger brother groaned, nodding in response.

You blew out a puff of air. Rebecca came running over, crouching down to yours and Sam’s level, looking him over.

You looked back at Dean and watched as he ripped the necklace he always wore from around the shapeshifter’s neck. He looked over at you, giving you a knowing nod. His jaw was clenched, and his eyebrows were furrowed.

You stood up, leaving Sam and Rebecca on the floor while you walked over to Dean. His eyes followed your face as you got closer to him

“So, what are you gonna do with... you?” you chortled, trying to make light of the situation.

He scoffed at you. “I guess have Becky call the cops once we get the hell outta dodge.”

“Sounds good,” you nodded, glancing down at the shifter. Your movements tensed as you remembered the awful things he said to you. Things that had apparently been on Dean’s mind; the reasons why he hated you. Despite the fact that Dean had apologized, you were still hurt.

“You okay?” Sam asked you when he walked up behind you.

You turned around to face him, noticing Dean had left his crouched position next to the shapeshifter.

“Yeah,” you lied, “I’m good.”

He gave you a knowing look with a tilt of his head.

You smiled half-heartedly. “We’ll talk about it later.”

***

You and Dean were packing up the car while Sam said his goodbyes to Rebecca. You looked on as the two friends shared a hug. When they pulled away, the blonde waved to you and Dean. You smiled at her, waving back.

“So, what about your friend, Zack?” Dean asked as soon as Sam walked up to the car.

“Cops are blamin’ this Dean Winchester guy for Emily’s murder,” Sam smirked. “They found the murder weapon in the guy’s lair, Zack’s clothes stained with her blood. Now they’re thinking maybe the surveillance tape was tampered with. Yeah, Becca says Zack will be released soon.”

Dean rolled his eyes before he got into the car, leaving you and Sam chuckling to yourselves.

***

Dean broke the silence in the car that you three had been enjoying the entirety of the ride up until that point. “Sorry, man.”

You looked away from the trees that flew by outside of the Impala’s window over to Dean.

“About what?” Sam inquired.

“I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be….Joe College.”

“No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.”

“Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak,” Dean quipped.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way.”

“Yeah, I know you are,” the younger brother laughed.

“Aw, isn’t this sweet,” you piped up from the backseat.

“Shut up, (Y/N),” Dean responded, making you snicker. He paused. "You know, I gotta say—I’m sorry I’m gonna miss it.”

Sam turned his head to his brother. “Miss what?”

"How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?”

You snorted, curling up against the window while the car went quiet again. The shapeshifter’s words swirled around in your mind, causing the corners of your lips to turn down.

Were you really a burden to Dean? Or was the shapeshifter just saying that to get under your skin?

‘I mean, he never denied feeling that way when we were fighting,’ you reminded yourself. You huffed, crossing your arms.

‘I’ll talk to Sam about it next time we stop,’ you told yourself. You closed your eyes and decided napping was a better idea than being in your own head at the moment.

One final thought made its way into your head before you could suppress it.

‘He can’t really think that badly of me... could he?’

Feedback is always appreciated and tags are open!

Series Rewrite Babes:

@rach5ive @ppeachygemss

Dean Girls:

@akshi8278

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