deepak365

[moongirlwidow]

I now apparently have been voted by the police as "NYPD's Favorite Vigilante" and MJ is currently ranting about how ridiculous it is that it exists and has actual funding behind it.

[rizlowwritessortof]

Meant To Be - Chapter 9

Dean and Jordan are each trying to escape their painful pasts. Their chance meeting and a dangerous encounter begins a relationship that may give them both a new start.

Pairing: Police Detective Dean Winchester/Jordan Taylor

Word Count: 5547

Warnings: Smutty smut 

Aesthetic by @editsbymichele on Instagram; Dividers by @firefly-graphics​ 

Jordan moved her arm, and the unfamiliar tug of the IV finished waking her from a deep sleep. Her eyes opened, focusing slowly on the figure of the man sleeping in the recliner beside her bed. Dean was sound asleep, arms flung wide, an occasional soft snore escaping his parted lips. She smiled, relieved to see him there, safe and apparently uninjured. His vest was draped over a nearby chair, his boots beside it, badge and gun still in place at his waist.

She watched him silently until the quiet whoosh of the opening door made her turn her head that way. A nurse came in, her eyes falling on the peacefully sleeping man, and she quietly made her way to Jordan’s side. “How are you doing?” she whispered, taking her wrist between her fingers to check her pulse.

“I’m good. The doctor said once this bag was gone, the IV could come out – can you do that?”

“Sure!” She worked on that, nodding her head towards Dean. “Looks like you have your own private security, huh?”

Jordan grinned. “I’m very lucky.”

The nurse nodded, her eyebrows raised in agreement. “Yeah, you are. Well, let me know if you need anything else. Doc should be here in a couple of hours, once he okays it, you’ll be able to go home.”

“Thank you,�� Jordan whispered back, and the nurse walked back to the door, turning with an expression of appreciation as she glanced back at Dean, pretending to fan herself before grinning and pulling the door closed behind her. Jordan giggled softly, and Dean stirred a little, his eyes opening slowly, squinting as he tried to focus. “Hey, sleepyhead,” she teased, and a crooked smile quirked up one side of his lips.

“Hey, yourself. How are you doing?” His voice was raspy with sleep, eyes heavy-lidded, his hair mussed and adorable, and she smiled affectionately back at him.

“I’m good. Head still pounding a little, but not as bad.” She threw her covers back, swinging her legs around, and hopped off the bed, coming over to crawl into his lap.

“Are they sure, they checked you out?”

She looked into his eyes, nodding. “Cat scan, the whole works. I have a concussion, but everything else is okay. Nurse said I can go home as soon as the doc checks in.” She leaned in to kiss him, and he pulled her closer with a soft hum against her lips.

He slipped his hand just beneath the hem of her hospital gown, fingers trailing over her knee as he laid his head back and smiled at her. “Donna’s bringing some clothes for you, she’ll be here in about an hour. Then we can stop and see Sam, if you want.”

She nodded. “Yes, I definitely want.” She cuddled against him, kissing his neck before settling her head on his shoulder with a sigh. When Donna arrived, they were both asleep in the chair.

She knocked lightly on the inside of the door, and they both stirred, yawning. “Hey, Donna,” Jordan smiled sleepily, not moving from her perch.

“Hey, you two. I hated to wake you, but I think the doc’s on his way soon, anyway. How are you feelin’, hon?”

“A little headache and neck pain, but other than that, I’m ok. I was better when I woke up and saw Dean sitting here and I knew you guys were all right.”

“Oh, hell, yeah. Like they used to say on Dukes of Hazzard, we cuffed ‘em and stuffed ‘em,” Donna joked, and the girls laughed. “Of course, Dean wanted to kill the creep that had you, but…”

“Sometimes it sucks being one of the good guys,” he grumbled, and Jordan smiled down at him.

“Don’t feel bad, I kinda wanted to kill him myself,” she said, dropping a kiss on his nose before sliding off his lap. “You brought me clothes?” Donna held out a bag and Jordan took it with a grateful smile. “Thank you. I’ll get dressed, and then we can go see Sam?”

“That’s the plan, as soon as the doc lets you go,” Dean answered, and she stepped into the bathroom to change.

After an impatient wait, the doctor finally showed up to release Jordan, and they all headed to Sam’s room together. He was sitting up and talking quietly to Sarah when they walked in, and she jumped up to give Jordan a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay! You must have been terrified,” she sympathized, and Jordan nodded.

“Not something I want to go through again,” she agreed, then moved over to the bed to take Sam’s hand. “I was so damn worried about you.”

Dean came around to the foot of the bed where he could see his brother. “Yeah, even on the ransom call when I demanded to talk to her, it was “I’m okay – how’s Sam?” he grinned. “And you guys have matching black eyes. Somebody needs to take a picture of this.”

“Gotcha covered,” Donna piped up, grabbing her phone. “Get down there next to him, girl, we have to capture this for posterity.”

“Just what a woman wants to do after getting shanghaied and spending the night in the hospital – get her picture taken,” Jordan sighed, rolling her eyes, but she bent down next to Sam so Donna could capture the moment, laughing as Sam whispered some funny comment in her ear. Donna held out her phone with a triumphant grin.

“It’s a keeper!”

Jordan sat next to Dean on the way home, drowsy and content with his arm around her. She looked up at him, confused, when they pulled up in front of her apartment building. “We’re not going to your place?”

Dean hesitated a moment, then turned to look at her. “Doc said nothing strenuous, lots of rest. I just thought it’d be better if you were in your own bed, and we wouldn’t be – you know – trying to do strenuous stuff.”

She giggled, shoving at his shoulder. “It’s okay, you need to get some sleep, too.”

“Yeah, and – Donna and I have a lot of statements to take the next couple of days, and paperwork to do. We’ll have to get your statement at some point, but not until you’re rested up.” He leaned in close and kissed her tenderly. “C’mon, I’ll walk you up.”

He hung around the apartment, chatting with Donna until Jordan had showered and got ready for bed, going in to kiss her goodnight before he left. It didn’t take her long to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

It was late evening when Dean and Donna came home the next night, and Jordan sensed tension between them as soon as they walked through the door. It had been a long couple of days, and everyone was bound to be on edge, so she didn’t ask what was going on.

“Want a beer?” she asked, and Donna shot her a tired smile.

“Not me. I’m heading for the shower and my bed, it’s been a long day.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I should head out, too. Donna, we’ll talk about this later.”

She looked up at him, her voice sharp. “I’ll walk you out,” she said, and Jordan bit her lip nervously.

“Guess I’ll get ready for bed,” she said softly. “G’night, you two.” Dean was not acting normal at all, and Donna was pissed, and she suddenly wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” Dean said softly, and Jordan nodded, noting the death glare Donna was aiming his way. The obviously feuding partners headed for the door, and Jordan walked towards her room, her stomach in knots.

She had barely walked into her bedroom when she remembered she had wanted to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, so she turned and headed back that way. She closed the fridge and heard Donna’s voice raise just enough that she could hear, wishing she had stayed in her room but unable to make her feet move.

“Dean, you know how I feel. I don’t like it at all, you blindsided me with this. You have to talk to Jordan.”

“I know! I will, I just – I have to… there’s just some shit I have to figure out, think about. I didn’t plan for this to happen, at least not this soon. Not right after… I mean, really, we haven’t been together that long, but…”

“Well, you’d better figure it out, and fast. I’m not good at hiding things. And I shouldn’t have to. I wish you hadn’t even told me.”

“I’m sorry! I had to fucking talk to somebody, and I thought maybe my partner wouldn’t be such a dick about it!”

Now Dean sounded pissed, and Jordan felt sick. She rushed back to her room, afraid Donna would come back into the apartment and see her standing there. Her hands were shaking, her head spinning, memories of Darrel’s demeaning and belittling comments echoing through her mind. She crawled into her bed, curled into a ball, trying to ignore them, but they wouldn’t leave her alone. All the old insecurity she had worked so hard to recover from came flooding back, overwhelming her. It hadn’t taken Dean long to get tired of her, apparently. And Donna was upset with him because he wasn’t talking to her about it. How could she think he actually wanted more with her than a casual fling?

She hadn’t felt this small since the end of her relationship with Darrel, and she finally fell asleep, exhausted, dark thoughts haunting her through the restless night.

Jordan stayed in bed the next morning until Donna left, not wanting to see anyone. She moved through her day in a daze, unable to focus on anything but her misery. She was in love with Dean, but something had happened to change his feelings towards her. Maybe last night hadn’t been about the doctor’s orders at all. Maybe it was just the first step in distancing himself from her. And even worse, if they weren’t going to be together, how could they possibly get back to the warm, easy friendship they’d had before? Everything was such a mess, she was a mess, and there was nothing she could do to fix it.

Late that afternoon, there was a soft knock at the door before she heard the key in the lock. Dean peeked his head in, seeing her sitting there, and came in, alone. He looked nervous, and she felt that sick, hollow feeling in her stomach again, dreading what was coming.

“Hey,” he said softly. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Where’s Donna?”

“She’s at Doug’s. Wanted to give us some time to talk.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

He came to the couch, sitting down and rubbing the back of his neck before turning his body towards her. He glanced at her before he started talking, then kept his eyes in his lap, his hands fidgeting and rubbing over his thigh occasionally as the words tumbled out. “So, I’ve been kinda messed up for the last few months – I mean, you know that. When I went to South Dakota, when I met you, I was… I didn’t know if I wanted to come back to work, back to Kansas City. Anyway, while I was there, working on my car, I needed a part, and I found this little repair and body shop there. The old guy that owns it was pretty cool, we got to talking, and I told him how I grew up in Kansas working at my uncle’s body shop. He got me a beer and we just sat there and shot the shit for a couple of hours, it was the most I’d talked to anybody for a long time. When I got ready to leave, he said, ‘Dean, I’m gonna give up and retire one of these days. I’d sure like it if somebody like you would buy this place and run it like it should be run.’ Well, I told him, sure, give me a call when you do that, and I’ll see where I’m at.”

He looked up at Jordan again, then back down before continuing. “Well, he called me yesterday. And if we hadn’t just wrapped up the whole mess behind that shooting, I don’t know if I would even think about it. But – I’m burned out. I don’t love my job anymore. I really think I want out. Donna’s pissed at me, feels like I’m abandoning her or something, but – I can’t do this job if my heart and my head aren’t in it. I can cash in my pension and buy that shop, do something I used to dream about when I was a kid working for my uncle. Live in a place where you can walk down the street without worrying about getting mugged. Watch some sunsets, see what real peace and quiet feels like.”

Jordan was struggling not to cry, but her tears were winning, rolling silently down her face, and as she sniffed softly, Dean raised his head to look at her. “So - you’re leaving.” He stared at her, a stricken expression on his face at her obvious distress, his mouth open to speak, but she went on. “I mean, I get it, you’re not happy, and you don’t feel about me the same way I feel about you. I mean, Darrel always said I wasn’t enough to keep a man for long, I should have seen it coming. I should have stayed away from you in the first place.” She started to rise from the couch, but Dean reached out and stopped her with a firm grip on her arm.

“Whoa! Hey, where is this coming from? No – just... Baby, no… God, I fucked this up.” He shook his head. “Damn it, Jordan, I don’t want to leave you. I’m not leaving you. I want you to come with me. But we haven’t been together for that long, and you just got to KC, and I didn’t want you to feel like I was pushing you too fast...” He moved closer, his hands cradling her face. “Baby, I’m so sorry, I had no idea you thought that’s what was happening.”

“I heard you and Donna last night, I thought you were sick of me, I thought you wanted to leave me, and I thought that’s why Donna was mad at you, and all I could think about was the shit that Darrel used to say to me...” Dean pulled her into his arms, holding her tight and soothing her until she quieted down. Then he took her by the shoulders and moved her back, taking her face in his hands and kissing her gently.

“If it’s the last thing I do, I’m gonna erase what that asshole did to you, I don’t care if it takes me the rest of my fucking life. None of it is true. You hear me? And I’m not leaving you. If you really want to stay here, I will work through my bullshit and stay. But if you want to come with me – I told Earl I’d call him back tomorrow, let him know. I know that’s not much time, but...”

After a moment of thoughtful silence, she responded, “So, maybe I could still work for Sam, from home?”

“I’m sure you could. We can talk to him, we can go to the hospital so you can discuss it with him, if you want.”

“And we could go to Molly’s for bacon cheeseburgers and pancakes...”

“And frosty mugs of beer. Yeah. And I thought we could maybe buy a little house, and you could come and have lunch with me at the shop sometimes.” He kissed her nose, then her lips, and a smirk slowly curved his lips. “And maybe I could come home for lunch sometimes, but not for lunch, ya know?”

Jordan blushed, looking up at him from under her damp lashes. “You could.” He kissed her again, lingering over her lips, and she let out a little sigh, melting against him. Her arms slipped around his waist, handfuls of his shirt in her fists as his tongue touched her lips, then slipped between them with a moan.  

“Maybe I should stop,” he mumbled reluctantly, barely parting from her lips as he spoke, and she tightened her grip around him with a little whimper.

“Dean… it’s been two days, I’m fine, and I need you...”

He groaned, kissing her again, hard, before stopping to look into her eyes. “Are you sure? That you’re ready? Your head...”

“Please, Dean, I promise, I’m fine.” She slipped her hands underneath his shirt, moving them up his back and dragging her nails gently over his skin. “I need you to hold me, I need to feel you inside me...” She brushed her lips along his jaw line, then down to his pulse point, sucking gently at his skin, and he swore, letting her push him down. She stretched out, her body full length over his, grinding against his erection, her lips crashing down on his again. His hands gripped her ass, his hips rising up to meet her as she moaned into their kiss. She finally raised her head, panting for air, her eyes dark with want. “Maybe we should go to my room… in case Donna...”

Dean nodded, and she climbed off of him, heading to her room with him hot on her heels. He was halfway undressed by the time he reached the room, dropping his clothes in a pile before stretching out on the bed, lazily stroking his cock with one hand as he watched Jordan strip down. “C’mere, sweetheart...” he urged, and she climbed onto the bed, settling over top of him again and raising up to let him guide himself to her entrance. She wasted no time, impaling herself on him slowly, her eyes closing and head thrown back as she took him in fully, her thighs trembling beneath Dean’s hands.

“Feels so good, baby...”

She didn’t move, the sensation of him pressing into the deepest part of her making it hard to breathe, so delicious that she wanted it to last forever. Her hands fell on top of his, clutching, her eyes finally opening to meet his heated gaze. “Dean…” she whined softly, and he shuddered as she clenched around him.

“Whatever you need, sweetheart, just tell me,” he said softly, his hands gently kneading at her thighs.

“Hold me.” He raised up slowly, gathering her close against his chest, fingers trailing over her back as he dropped hungry little kisses on her lips. After a few moments, he laid back, pulling her with him, his lips ravenous on hers as she began to move her hips. She was completely lost in him, the wanton sounds muffled by their kisses making him crazy, and he clutched her tightly to his chest, wanting to feel every inch of her against him.

It was delicious torture, the slow grinding of their bodies together, and Jordan pushed herself up with a soft cry as she neared her orgasm, her nails digging into Dean’s shoulders. He slipped his hands beneath her, squeezing at her breasts before giving her nipples a gentle twist, clenching his teeth as she came, grinding down hard on top of him and quivering around his aching cock.

She dropped down, her heart pounding against his chest, and he stroked his hands over her back, soothing her with gentle whispers and kisses to her forehead. She finally tipped her head back to look into his face, an endorphin-drunk smile on her lips. “Are you good?”

“So good,” she answered with a sigh.

“No headache?”

“Dean, I’m okay. Stop worrying.”

He grinned. “Okay, but I’m taking over from here.” She raised her eyebrows at him, then let out a surprised little cry and pouted when he pulled her off of him, and he laughed as he flipped her to her back on the bed beside him. Before she could say anything, he was snugged up between her thighs and slipping back inside her, his lips silencing her pretended protests. “So, you got a problem with that?” he teased, his lips brushing over hers, and she smiled, arching up a little beneath him.

“No problems here. None.”

He tilted his hips a little, making Jordan’s eyes flutter closed for a moment, and bent to take a nipple into his mouth. She sighed, head thrown back, blissfully enjoying the waves of pleasure washing through her. Dean began to move, slowly at first, shifting his attention to her other breast with a moan as she shifted her hips to meet him. As he began to thrust faster and harder, he raised his head to look down at her, watching her expressions as he drove them higher. She opened her eyes, staring up at him with such heat in her gaze that he let out a growl, capturing her lips in a ravenous kiss, swallowing her cry as she began to come undone. “Let go, sweetheart, I’m right there with you,” he managed to say, burying his head in the slope of her shoulder as he came, everything inside him white hot and throbbing in time with his pounding heart. Jordan was still letting out soft little whimpers when he regained his senses, finally going quiet after a long shudder.

They laid quiet in each others’ arms for a time, neither of them wanting to move. Dean finally shifted himself over, laying on his side next to her, and she turned towards him, a contented little smile on her face, her eyes shining as she looked at him. He let his fingers trail over her cheek, ducking his head a little with a shy smile. “What?” she asked softly, taking hold of his hand. He shook his head with a small shrug of his shoulders, his eyes still averted.

“I don’t know. Just – the way you look at me. Makes me feel like I should, I don’t know, do something amazing for you.”

She laughed softly. “You mean like asking me to run away to South Dakota with you?”

His crooked smile grew, and he looked back into her eyes again. “No, I mean something really big. Rope the moon, slay a dragon, you know – big.”

“You wanna be my hero?”

He huffed out a laugh, blushing a bit. “Yeah. Maybe I do.”

She raised her hand to his face with a soft smile. “Well, you already are.”

“C’mere, you,” he whispered, pulling her close, kissing her with all the emotion he couldn’t express in words. After several minutes, he moved away slightly, a finger beneath Jordan’s chin to tip her head back so he could look into her eyes. “So – what do you say, should we call Earl?”

She grinned, nodding. “Yeah. Let’s call Earl.”

Jordan parked in front of the shop and smiled up at the newly edited sign. Where it used to say Earl’s, now it read ‘Dean’s Body and Repair.” It had been three months since they had moved to South Dakota, bought a nice little three-bedroom ranch with a fenced-in yard and settled in. Dean’s business had taken right off, Earl’s loyal customers staying with him thanks to Earl’s glowing endorsement, and seeing him relaxed, happy and enjoying his work made her heart smile.

It was Friday night, closing time, and Jordan glanced around, making sure no one was around to stop her for a chat when she got out of the car. The coast was clear, so she headed into the shop, turning to lock the door behind her with a smile.

Her heels clacked against the concrete floor as she made her way back into the depths of the shop, her short skirt swinging with each step. Dean was just reaching for a shop towel after washing his hands, his coveralls down around his waist, and she felt that little clutch in her belly that she always got at the sight of his shoulders, bared in the tank top he was wearing. His eyebrows raised with surprise as she approached him, his eyes roaming over her. “Hi.”

“Are you the mechanic I’ve been hearing about?”

Dean’s lips twitched as he smothered his grin. “I’m the mechanic here, yeah.”

“I was told that you’re the best body man around.”

He tilted his head back, his eyes narrowing a little. “You were told?”

She shrugged. “I hear things. I came to see for myself.”

“Okay. So – what kind of work do you need done?”

She walked slowly over towards the Impala, which was sitting in the nearest stall where it was parked after an oil change. Dean watched the sway of her skirt, swallowing hard as she twirled to lean her back against the gleaming fender. “I was hoping that you could just check things over for me, see if I need anything – touched up.” She put her arms out to her sides, hands on the car, trying not to smile as Dean’s eyes were pulled to her cleavage. “Also, I think I might have a problem with my – intake manifold? Is that what you call it? I was told that you have the perfect tool for that kind of work.”

Dean cleared his throat a little. “So, what kind of car do you drive?”

Jordan smiled. “Oh, I’m not talking about my car.”

A smirk was beginning to curve his lips as he walked towards her, stopping in front of her to look up and down her body, slow and deliberate. “Well, from what I can see, your chassis is in perfect condition. But I’d have to get hands-on to be sure.”

“That’s the idea.” Her voice sounded breathless, catching just a bit as his hand touched her thigh, slipping beneath the hem of her skirt.

“You’re a bad girl, aren’t you? That short little skirt, and no panties?”

His fingers were trailing over her hip, squeezing at her ass and then sneaking around to explore between her thighs as she struggled to speak. “I wanted to make you happy.”

She bit at her lip as he stroked his fingers over her, teasing at her clit. “Oh, I’m more than happy,” he said, his voice gravelly with lust. He brought his fingers up to his lips, sucking her flavor from them before reaching for the buttons of her low-cut blouse. “Fuck,” he growled as he opened it to see the red satin and lace bra beneath, and she moved her arms to let her top fall to the floor. “You locked the door, right?”

She nodded, unable to form words at the moment, the heat of his gaze and his touch rendering her speechless. She braced her hands against the Impala again as his fingers traced the edge of her bra, caressing the rounded flesh above the fabric, then tugging the cups down and bending to drag his tongue over a nipple. She let out a soft whine, and then his large hands grasped her by the waist and set her up on the fender before he reached behind her back and unfastened her bra, tossing it out of the way and attacking her breasts in earnest.

Finally he laid her back on the car, staring down at her, his hands roaming over her body as she squirmed, every nerve electrified at his touch. “So fucking beautiful,” he growled, moving to flip her skirt up and pull her legs over his shoulders, bending to bury his face in her pussy with a moan. Already on fire, within moments she was thrashing underneath him, her heels flying from her feet as she shouted his name, coming hard as he drove her over the edge.

Once Jordan had calmed, Dean stood and dragged his forearm over his face, then reached for her waist, lifting her from the car and setting her to her feet. Legs wobbling, she leaned against the fender, watching as Dean, his eyes never leaving her, shoved his coveralls down and unfastened his jeans. He pulled her close again, walking her to the back of the Impala before shoving all his clothing down to his knees and spinning her to face the car. He wrapped one arm around her chest, his fingers kneading at her breast as his other hand covered her sex, holding her tight as he nipped at her neck. “You know what happens when you strut in here in your high heels and short little skirt with no underwear, naughty girl?” he rumbled in her ear, and she shook her head, trembling in his hold. “You get bent over my car and fucked.” At his last word, he plunged two fingers inside her, startling a cry from her lips, his arm around her the only reason she was still on her feet. After a few well-aimed strokes, he pulled his hand free from between her thighs and pushed her forward over the trunk, growling, “Hands on the car, and don’t move.”

After he had arranged her to his liking, moving her legs farther apart and pulling her hips towards him, he lined himself up, one hand on her back to keep her in place as he slowly penetrated her, pressing forward until he was balls-deep and she was whimpering beneath him. “You okay, baby?” he asked softly, waiting for her to nod before he moved, a tiny shift of his hips that made her moan. “If you liked that, just wait.” He pulled back, the slick drag against his sensitive cock making him hiss in a breath, teeth clenched. He pushed forward again with a soft growl, fighting for control for a moment before beginning a quickly increasing rhythm, his hands gripping Jordan’s hips to hold her in place. Each thrust forced a cry from her lips, incoherent begging and long, low moans of his name, spurring him on.

He felt his balls draw up tight, forcing a “Fuck!” from him as he began to flood her with his release, driving into her hard and fast. A moment later, she arched up with a broken shout of his name, her cunt seizing around him and making him swear again, shaking uncontrollably until she dropped to the shining surface of the Impala’s trunk, her breath coming in harsh sobs.

He let go of her, supporting himself with his hand against the car for a moment, waiting for his head to stop spinning. Jordan laid there beneath him, still panting, boneless and limp. Dean stood, pulling his pants up around his waist, and lifted her from the car and into his arms. He walked to his desk chair and sat with her in his lap, cradling her close against him. “Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered, his hand smoothing over her back, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

Jordan tilted her head back to look at him, a serene little smile on her face. “Hey.”

Dean chuckled softly. “You good?”

She sighed, snuggling back against his chest. “I’m amazing.”

“Fucking right, you are. What the hell got into you today, anyway?” He smiled down at her, hands still stroking over her silky skin. “Not that I’m complaining...”

She shrugged a little, a shy smile curving her lips. “Ever since the first day I met you, I had this fantasy of being manhandled and fucked by a really hot mechanic.”

He blushed a little, bending to kiss her, lingering over her lips for a few moments. “So, did you walk down here like that?”

Jordan giggled. “Ummmm… no. I know it’s only three blocks, but I could just see a little breeze kicking up and me walking bare-assed down the street. And besides, I was afraid Mrs. Murphy would want to stop me and talk about her cat.” Dean laughed, and she continued. “So no, my car is outside.”

“Well, good – I think maybe we’ll drive home together, I think I need to clean the Impala before I take her out. Somebody made kind of a mess on the trunk.”

“Not my fault.”

“Totally your fault.” He kissed her firmly as if to seal his winning of the argument. “So, how about we go home and shower, then hit Molly’s?”

“That is the second best offer I’ve had all day.” She reached her hand to his face, her eyes soft and searching. “You know, I was thinking. Everything that’s happened to us – if I hadn’t been running away from Darrel, and you hadn’t been trying to escape the shit in Kansas City – we never would have met each other. I think it was meant to be.”

“Oh, baby, definitely,” he said as she stretched up to kiss him again. “So – maybe we should try to find your clothes.”

“I have no idea where my shoes are. I think I kicked them off when you were eating me out like a wild man.”

Dean’s laugh echoed through the garage. “You can go home barefoot, I’ll find ‘em later. I don’t know about you, but I’m dying for a bacon cheeseburger.”

“Oh, God, yes. And a beer.”

He wrapped his arms around her for one more squeeze. “Yep. Definitely meant to be.”

[misterghostfrog]

So I was reading someones post about what if Jon went back in time to save everyone, and he managed it. He kept Martin away from Prentiss, he Kept Sasha alive, Tim never even know the unknowing existed and he never had Jons paranioa to ruin him. But They never knew, there was never those moments of bonding between the terror. Martin never had that moment when he realized Jon wasn’t just his shitty boss. And sure the assistants were close, but there was no room for Jon. And it gave me thoughts.

Under the cut bc I started to Ramble and it got Long, warning; its Big Sad Hours down there. No happy endings here.

Jon solves all these problems before they start, he fixes it without anyone ever knowing. The assistants are blissfully unaware, maybe he stops sending them on ‘real’ statement followup. The archives are a normal, safe job for all of them. Sometimes it gets too much, pretending he doesn’t know them. So he’ll record, mostly for himself. Sometimes for them, though he’ll never share. He sticks them all in Gertrude's old storage locker, where he knows they’ll never be found.

And then something goes wrong. He knows the unknowing can’t work, of course it can’t. But Nikola doesn’t, none of the avatars know. And Nikola still wants her skin. She still wants his skin, actually. And she’s not afraid to play dirty to get it, she’s hands-on like that. Because why stop at the archivist when he’s got so many lovely ignorant assistants?

So he fixes the problem before she can make good on her threats, she can’t be killed that easily. He knows. But she died during the unknowing, and there are some pretty simple steps to follow to replicate that result. He knows the easiest way to make sure it works is also a death sentence for him. But that’s a simple choice to make. Alright no, it’s not. He’s terrified of death, of dying. He doesn’t want to die, but he can lie to himself. He can delude and say maybe he’ll get another chance. And just in case, he makes sure the assistants know they can quit now.

Tim, Sasha, and Martin don’t know what to make of the news that their boss died mysteriously in an explosion. They know even less what to make of the notes he left them.

Clearly the ramblings of a very unstable man. They all knew Jon was a bit off but this... Well, they all know there’s something weird about the job. But the apocalypse? Really? 

Sasha believes some of it, she’s worked in artifact storage. She’s seen what this stuff can do. But, well. Jon’s never come off as the most stable person, and with no proper proof to back up any of this there’s no reason for them to follow suit. After all she’s known lots of people to quit the institute, she even knows for a fact that Eric Delano did it when she was rooting through employee records for perfectly rational legal reasons.

Then Martin gets called up to Elias’s office, and gets the news he’s the new head archivist.

He tries to turn it down, but he’s offered a pay-raise and a promise that he can step down anytime if he doesn’t feel suited to the position. Elias just sees so much potential in him.

Martin tries to feel flattered and not thoroughly terrified by the way Elias says potential. He takes the promotion, after all, he can always step down if it’s too much.

He offers as much when he finds out Sasha probably should have been given the position, but she turns him down. It’s not his fault their boss is a sexist old bastard, and at this rate he’d probably just turn around and give it to Tim.

Things are normal for a few months. Until slowly a strange noise starts to be heard around the archives, a weird sort-of squishing sound with no source. Along with a metallic scent of meat. 

An infestation, of course. They’re getting the problem worked on, or so Elias says. But aside from the occasional exterminator coming in to ‘take a look’ nothing ever seems to change. Weird statements start showing up on Martins desk, surrounding meat and twisted up things, eaten alive and wrong. Suddenly he understands how Jon went off his rocker so easily.

It’s hard to believe all this supernatural stuff as it’s suddenly getting crammed down his throat, after so long of the archives being normal in almost every sense of the word it’s like missing a step on the staircase. The more awful statements he finds- that Tim and Sasha confirm -the more he realizes how much his boss was hiding from them.

He wants to quit, he thinks about it, he tries to think about it. But he just, can’t.

It’s another or two month before it happens. Meat and bone and gristle erupt from the floor, taking on horrible mangled shapes of almost-humans reaching out with hands full of teeth and hungry.

They all survive, though Tim gets eaten up a bit more than the rest of them. And they’ll all have nightmares for the rest of their lives. They’re alive.

And they find Gertrude’s body, though none of them know how to feel about it. They’ve realized by now there’s something to Jon’s nonsensical ramblings. And they’re long past regretting not quitting before this all happened.

There’s a section of document storage that got uncovered during the cleaning,an old cot that was shoved behind some of the shelves, and a box that had a few sets of clothes, an old teacup, and a key. The cleaners say they burned the clothes, but the cup and the Key are given to Martin for him to keep to return to whoever left their things in the archive.

Neither of those items belong to Tim or Sasha, so they all assume they belonged to Jon.

They start following Jons footsteps, they find out he was a suspect in an arson case surrounding Carlos Vittery’s old apartment. Nobody was there except one unidentified body. He was arrested for trespassing on a dock, though no charges were filed. There was an incident that ended in the near arrest of one Jude Perry, though no charges were filed and she soon fell off the grid. And then he exploded using C4 he had no way of getting, Nothing concrete, no proper genuine evidence except a series of weird encounters their dead boss had.

Martin Decides to try and hunt down Jude Perry, it takes some time. He has a very nice cup of tea with one Micheal Crew. Who points him in a general direction and is just a bit weird about tall buildings.

Martin finds Jude, and asks her about Jon. She laughs at him, of course. But she tells him anyway. Jon was trying to have her arrested- no, not arrested. Killed. Officer Tonner would have seen to that, he knew one of the Hunt could do her in, well. At least of Officer Tonner’s sort anyway. Jude resisted, naturally. He escaped her clutches only barely, by running. Like a coward. And she escaped the policewoman by playing innocent. She’s still on her tail though, damn dog. It’ll be a long time before she’d rid of her, but she knows better than to run. Oh, he doesn’t know what any of that means, does he? Oh he really doesn’t, how sweet. Just a little baby archivist- she was going to kill him after this. But watching him stumble into his own ruin will be so much more fun.

She sends him on his way with a burn.

Martin is terrified, he genuinely tries to quit. Almost manages it before his computer shuts off. The others try too, and then they all have a lovely freak-out together.

They decide to try and talk to Detective Tonner, which proves easy. She’s the partner of the one who’s been interviewing them. She comes to the institute, and they ask her about Jon. She tells them they believed he was responsible for killing Gertrude, seeing as he was next in line. Martin accidentally Compels her into a statement, and then into admitting she's mostly just saying he killed her because dead men don’t put up fights.

She threatens him right then and there, though Basira comes in and intervenes before anything happens. He files a dispute with the station, and avoids the police after that.

Basira brings him some of the tapes, she says it’s an apology. He’s pretty sure she’s just trying to get him to drop the dispute in the weirdest way possible. He does learn some about Gertrude though, and through her what he’s dealing with. And something about an ‘unknowing’

A man named peter Lukas visits the institute, one of the doners. Elias says he wants to see how the archive runs, Lukas says a few choice words about it. And Martin tells him in the most polite of terms to shove off. Lukas threatens him, and very briefly makes him forget everyone he’s ever loved. And then tells him he got off lucky, and that Elias should have picked a better archivist. You can hardly trust someone so childish to run something as important as this now can you.

Daisy visits him in his home, and threatens him in much more physical terms now. She tells him if he tries to do what he did to her again he’ll get more than a scar.

After that it’s a bit unclear how he gets marked by the next two (Curruption, Stranger.) but he does.

There’s a delivery, a few weeks after the stranger mark. It’s not supernatural in any sense, just a young woman dropping off a small box in the archivists office. She says her name is Georgie, and no, she doesn’t know what’s in the box. She just had an old friend tell her to deliver it if he didn’t check in after a bit. Then she found out he died on the news, and then she hadn’t wanted to deliver them- clearly whatever was in the box was going to get someone killed. And she wasn’t scared of it, she wasn’t one for fear, but the thought of putting anyone in danger made her skin crawl. But she didn’t want it in her house, and she refused to be haunted be this box forever. And there was no reason to defy the poor guys apparent final wishes- wait, why was she saying all this again?

In the box was tapes, a dozen or so of them. All addressed to ‘the next head archivist’

It’s Jon’s voice, on the tapes. Talking to who he apparently assumes to be an entire stranger, explaining the fears. And how Smirkes 14 wasn’t wrong, but wasn’t right either. It tells the next archivist to avoid eyes, paintings, doodles, abstract representations, and to keep playing dumb. There’s a lot out there, and the more you know the worse it gets. There’s no fighting, don’t struggle the nets already around you. There’s a way out, but you’re not going to like it.

It gives an odd image of Jon, the man who awkwardly tried to make small-talk int he break room, only to shuffle away after it fell flat. Carrying this world-ending secret on his shoulders. Stiff, awkward Jon. Grim, sad Jon. not so far apart but still so far outside of what Martin had known about him.

What had Martin known about him?

Tim decides to quit, Sasha stays. Elias hires Melanie. Who turns out to be another connection to Jon.

Melanie says he was kind of a prick, he belived her about her Sarah incident, but refused to give her library access. Probably because he was sexist, or maybe just a dickhead. She’d been trying to learn more about her encounter for ages. And this was finally her chance. They try to explain the way out but she won’t listen.

Martin starts following Gertrudes tapes, things about the unknowing have been popping up on his desk lately, and it sounds like Jon was right about an apocalypse. He goes to america, gets a bit kidnapped, and meets Gerry. He offers to help, and then asks about the unknowing. Gerry points him towards the storage locker. And when he gets back He and Sasha and Melanie check it out.

It’s mostly empty, apparently somewhat recently cleared out. Though in the corner there’s a large box of Tapes. There has to be dozens of them, and when they pres play it’s Jon. Talking to them. Except it’s not them, it’s another version of them, and something this version.

And there’s another Jon to add to the mystery of a man he was. The jon on these tapes isn’t stiffly awkward or forcedly professional. He’s open, sad. He cries, he laughs at memories they don’t have. He apologizes, a lot. Too much really. He talks about time travel, about forgetting faces and losing friends.

“Sometimes I-I think- I can’t help but be a bit... upset. At how unfair it all is. You’re all happy and laughing and together and i’m- 

i’m alone. 

I suppose it must be some sort of- cosmic Karma, I doomed the world so in this new one bright an new I pay my penance in isolation.

Or maybe it’s the other way around. I doom the world- suffer its horrors, and get a little bit of time to taste what humanity would be like.

Or maybe i’m just not that likable without an apocalypse.

Probably says a lot about me either way.

Is it bad that I- I sometimes consider letting things play their course? W-without any of you dying of course I just... I suppose it is bad, to want to end the world because you’re lonely. Just because i’m a bit sad doesn’t mean the planet should suffer, no... maybe i’ll try and reconnect with Georgie, it’s been... well. No. Perhaps best not.”

Sasha says that if she knew she would have at least brought him out for drinks or something. 

But they did sort-of know didn’t they? Not about the apocalypse, but about the loneliness. After all, nobody chats so awkwardly in the break room because they have a thriving social life.

“I’m going to kill Nikola tonight- i’m not going to die. I’m not. I didn’t die last time, a-and there’s no reason for that to change. T-there isn’t. I’m going to try and be a safe distance from the blast this time, too. But... Well, it’s not like I have anyone to miss me if I do go.

I suppose... Martin, if you’re listening to this- I... I miss you. You always did say I should be more open with my feelings, and it’s weird. To miss someone who’s right there. T-to look at a face and see a friend and a stranger. To love someone you’ve known for years who doesn’t even really know who you are.

It’s all very stranger, ironic really. Considering what i’m about to do.

I love you, and I miss you. I know you’re not listening, even if I did die you’ve probably long since quit. I hope you’re happy, whatever you’re doing. Happy and safe. All of you. 

And maybe you are listening, maybe... maybe we do become friends, maybe you actually choose to talk to me someday. Maybe I tell you about all of this and... And you don’t think i’m mad. Maybe you let me take you out to dinner and we’d be together again. We’d never be like before- not that that’s a bad thing what with the eldritch horrors. There’d be bits missing, memories we don’t share- but, it would still be you... It’s always been you, I think. And maybe I've decided to give this to you as some sort of silly romantic gesture.

A-and in that case. I love you, Martin Blackwood. More than you’ll ever know.

[HE SIGHS]

When I come back, i’m recording over this.”

[CLICK]

But he didn’t come back. He died that night. He died loving Martin, who never even really knew him beyond passing awkward conversation. Martin doesn’t know how to feel about it, besides guilty that is.

The tapes point them towards Georgie Barker, the woman who delivered the other set to the archives.

Georgie doesn’t really want anything to do with them, she knows whatever they’re stewing in got Jon killed. But she tells them about her encounter with The End, though she’s tetchy afterwards. Martins finally starting to understand this whole compelling business and is feeling pretty sorry about it. He redirects, he starts to ask about Jon. Who he was, really. What she knew he was like.

They talk, Martins curiosity is part Eye and part knowing that someone loved him, really, really loved him. And feeling like he missed out, like he skipped a train he hadn’t known was there. And wanting to know what kind of person would- could love him the way Jon did. And why that kind of person could end the world.

They talk, Georgie explains why they broke up (clashing ideals, he didn’t believe in the supernatural and her trauma was so inherently tied to it. He was a sleep-clinger and she kicked when she dreamed) And why it took so long for them to break up (Jon was funny once you learned to get his jokes, the Admiral loved him, he had a weird way of caring that was really sweet) they talk about things, Georgie lets him hang out with her as long as he promises to keep the supernatural out of their conversations. And how is Melanie doing by the way?

Sasha has a hard time splitting her time in the archive and helping Tim. He can manage himself of course but it’s hard knowing he’s sitting in her flat alone, he’s getting back into publishing though. Sleeping easier now he knows that not only is he free of the eye, but Jon very much killed the thing that killed Danny. He only wishes he could have been the one to pull the trigger. Sasha is getting more involved though, the eye has it’s own grip on her.

They finally confront Elias. They know it won’t do any good, Jons tapes explained what he was, who he was. But they’re frustrated. Low on options. Jon never really explained what the apocalypse was- if Martins learned anything from the other tapes it’s probably because he forgot, thought he did somewhere and didn’t.

Elias isn’t entirely surprised that they’ve figured it out, he knew something was going on. Though he wasn’t quite sure what. He claims he knows what oncoming apocalypse Jon was talking about, and that he was likely underestimating the amount.

He sends them to Ny-Ålesund. And Martin views the black sun. Gets briefly taken hostage by Manuela. And gets “saved” by a man who pops out of a door to stab her.

He says his name is Micheal, and he’s not there to help. He does his whole distortion bit, confuses them. Stabs Martin when he tries to take his statement. Says he was going to kill him, but what happens next might be much better than death. And leaves after stating that he’s very excited to watch how the rest of this plays out.

They go back to the institute, and Elias says he must have been wrong. Oopsie. Anyway the web is planning a ritual you should go check out the spooky house from all these statements.

They meet Annabelle in person, Martin gets marked by the web.

This continues on for the end the slaughter and the buried. They finally confront Elias again about these wild goose chases, he claims innocence but he’s done it enough times they don’t believe him. They stop trusting Elias. Not that they ever really did, but they stop listening to him.

Melanie isn’t as angry as she was. Though she is still angry. She didn’t go to india so no ghost bullet, but she’s still trapped. Though she knows how to quit, it’s been a scary idea. But the longer she stays the more she realizes how low she is on options. So she quits.

Martin is angry, he’s exhausted, he’s confused. Nothing makes sense. And another one of Elias’s goddamn doners is visiting. A weird old man who, when he shakes his hand, makes him feel like he just dropped off a rollercoaster at a million miles into empty nothingness. He laughs when Martins regained himself, and says that that tricks better than a buzzer every time.

He visits Georgie again, he’s thinking about quitting. But he can’t figure out what the apocalypse he’s supposed to stop is, because according to Jon it’s pretty bad. And he’s the one who can stop, or maybe start, it. But he doesn’t know what it is.

He talks to Georgie about Jon some more, it’s funny, to grieve a man you already knew. Except four years too late. There’s a sort-of helpless frustration to it, every time he talks about Jon he wishes he could be learning this first-hand. Not from someone who hadn’t spoken to him in years before this.

He also finds himself glued to the tapes, he can relate, in a way. To Jons loneliness. To have a person so, so close but so far away. He wishes he could meet the Jon on the tapes now. Then neither of them would have to be lonely. But Jon is dead. And Martin... Martin might love Jon. Jon, who died years ago. A dead man who apparently loved him enough to consider ending the world for the chance to have a real conversation with him.

He goes back to work, frustrated and so, so lost. A million questions that genuinely can’t be answered. There’s a fresh statement on his desk. It’s a statement of Jonah Magnus, regarding stopping the apocalypse.

Certainly a goddamn roundabout way of giving Martin information, but he’ll take it.

He reads the statement.

The world ends.

Sasha, Tim, Melanie, and Georgie all get their own domains. And wander free in the hills of suffering. Martin is alone, well and truly alone. He ended the world, because he was too stupid and sad to read a few extra paragraphs before starting the tape.

But Jon went back, didn’t he? He went back in time and stopped this once. Maybe Martin can too. Maybe he can stop the flesh from attacking, maybe he can stop Melanie from joining the institute. Maybe he can meet the real Jon.

He goes back, he does it. Nobody remembers but him. 

Nobody remembers but him. 

And things keep happening he can’t have predicted.

Worms, Sasha is gone, Gertrude. It’s all wrong. And Jon isn’t the Jon he knew, he doesn’t know Martin, he doesn’t even like Martin. Nobody is the person he knew before.

He is alone. And things keep happening he can’t have predicted, worms tables and paranoia. He starts recording. Trying to follow in Jon’s footsteps and leave information behind, easier to access this time of course. In his flat, and he’ll have the key sent to the archives if something goes wrong. He’ll record until Jon trusts him enough to believe him, Maybe he’ll even stop him before it’s too late and he’ll never need to find out what happened at all. Maybe he can't get close as he was to everyone, but he can keep them safe.

He doesn’t get to finish his recordings, he wasn’t careful enough. Jonah catches wind and half the tapes are destroyed when he dies in a mysterious housefire. But what’s left does get delivered to the archives.

And the cycle continues.

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG162!

- I was feeling The Lack Of Tim (And Sasha) in season 4, the lack of mourning and/or plain… things making me feel that these characters had been in the series before? And I am spoiled rotten by this season so far <3

More duos, more… dead people. MAG161 had the birthday party, which, at least, featured Elias (who is still (?) sadly around somewhere, alive and kicking) and Jon&Martin, but overall, so many dead people: Tim&Sasha amongst the group of MAG161 and starring for themselves in MAG162, Gertrude&Leitner in MAG161, Gertrude&Gerry in MAG162. Gertrude was the only character to die-die before the start of the show, Gerry being an intermediary case – we’ve lost so many people? Sasha, Leitner, Gerry-as-the-memory-in-the-book, Tim… I don’t know if we’ll get many more tapes with glimpses from the past, under-Jon’s-radar moments, but I really appreciated what we got to begin the season with? It’s indeed anchoring, a reminder of what has been lost, what led to this?

(Jon mentioned “a few of them” tapes in MAG161, so there could be more, or no, and I’d be fine with it! But if more: Agnes? Gertrude&og!Elias? Gertrude&James Wright? Gertrude&Elias just after Jonah had taken over his body, since Gertrude mentioned this is when she understood what was up? Gertrude&Adelard, if they’ve found the right VA since the Q&A? Gertrude&Jan Kilbride about The Vast and The Buried, since she had apparently interrupted his written statement? Gertrude&Emma? Gertrude&Jon, since we know that Jon had met her? Elias&Jon, when Jon was hired at the Institute or offered the Head Archivist position? Elias&Martin for roughly the same? Sasha&Melanie’s discussion about haunted pubs? Melanie&Tim, since Elias had mentioned that they had been talking in season 3?)

- It… was only the second time we were hearing Gerry, but it was the first time we were hearing him caught on tape while he was… still alive. There was no reverse-echo to his sppech. He was there! The real Gerry when he was alive… ;_;

We more or less know when Gertrude&Gerry’s scene happened given that their collaboration was short-lived (ha): Mary gave Gertrude Eric’s page on the 3rd of July 2008 (MAG062); Gertrude used the page on the 21st of July 2008 (MAG154), promising that she would look after Gerry… which she proceeded to not do. Mary bound herself to the book in late September 2008 (MAG004), then proceeded to haunt Gerry for five years before Gertrude made contact and freed him from Mary (MAG111), marking the beginning of their collaboration. Gerry was still alive by the 9th of October 2014 (MAG137), but would die soon after during their trip in America.

(MAG062) GERTRUDE: And do you have any proof of this? Your… “magic book”. MARY: Yeah. [PAPER RUSTLING] You can keep this page. I made sure it was in English. GERTRUDE: Go– Who… who is it? MARY: A surprise, dear. Just make sure you’re alone when you read it.

(MAG154) ERIC: Fine! I… I want two things. GERTRUDE: I’m listening. ERIC: I want you to find my son. If Mary is… if she’s gone, or worse… I want you to make sure he’s alright. GERTRUDE: [HUFF] I’m not exactly a mother figure. ERIC: You could hardly do worse than her. GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

(MAG004, Dominic Swain) “Typing in their names I don’t know what sort of thing it was that I expected to find, but it certainly wasn’t a news article from 2008 about Mary Keay’s murder. Police had broken in late September […].”

(MAG111) GERRY: For the next five years she haunted my life. I did what she asked, but whenever her form faded for a few days, I would take what little revenge I could: I burned books, I covered leads. I occasionally fled to somewhere I thought it’d be hard for her to follow. In the end it was Gertrude who saved me. She came to me when I was desperate, nowhere to go, and she offered to help. […] I think you know the rest. I joined Gertrude’s work for a few years. Didn’t realise how ill I was until it finally caught up with me. Then I died.

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: We still have Dekker’s back-up plan, of course, but… it’s very risky. To be sure, I–I think the detonation would need to happen from within The Unknowing, while it was going on. Gerard may have a connection to The Eye, but I’m not convinced it will be enough. And I will admit I’ve grown… fond of the boy. I wonder, if I told him about Eric – whether he’d follow in his father’s footsteps. Still, that’s not like it kept Eric safe in The End.

Which means this scene happened in 2013–2014.

It’s so weird to think that… since he had been working at the Institute since at least 2012 (maybe 2011), Jon was inside of the building around the time of Gertrude&Gerry’s discussion? He was so close to that world, so close to Gerry?

(Sadly:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Eh! [INHALE] You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then–

… no meet-cute possible in the courtyard while Gerry was burning a book and Jon was there on a smoke break, since Jon had stopped smoking roughly at the time his grandmother died and he joined the Institute. Unless Jon bullshitted about that and kept telling himself and everyone that he had been quit for those five years, while he was actually still smoking a pack or two every week.

But gosh, Jon was probably sneaking his cigarettes in that same courtyard during season 2? It’s probably where he went while Leitner was being pipe-murdered? And Gertrude’s comment… implies that the Institute has neighbours, who could complain about shady things to Elias, I’m love it. They probably saw Jon at his worst in the same courtyard Gerry was regularly burning stuff. Am Emotions.)

- I think just hearing Gerry is doomed to make you feel hopeful about things, because, YES, he died, no, he wasn’t perfect, but he was also one of the most positive characters we encountered in the series, saving a few random people in early statements or begrudgingly giving them tips? So hearing him alive and inquiring and still kicking is Pure Serotonin.

He was hilarious in MAG111 (“I’m a BOOK.” “Dead serious.”), I’m having Feelings again with:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape; keeping us… alive and afraid – forever. [SILENCE] GERRY: [DEFLATING SIGH] … And taxes? GERTRUDE: Eh! Taxes, I imagine, will continue.

Press F to pay respect to Elias Bouchard, who might still have to pay taxes during the apocalypse.

- I’m crying a bit about Gertrude&Gerry’s exchange because:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Wait. Surely, you didn’t bring it here?! GERRY: Well, yeah – I, uh… GERTRUDE: Gerard! We’ve talked about this. Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the Archive is incredibly dangerous…! GERRY: It’s locked away! GERTRUDE: And I’m sure the lock is very sturdy. But that doesn’t stop it being an unnecessary risk. GERRY: … Yeah, I’m sorry… GERTRUDE: This is exactly the sort of thing that will get you killed. GERRY: I said I was sorry! [SILENCE] GERTRUDE: [SIGH] Then, we’ll say no more about it. [FLIPPING OF PAPERS] I don’t enjoy being hard on you, but I really would rather you stayed broadly intact.

1°) … Gerry shrinking when scolded is a remnant of Mary, uh……………………

2°) Yeaaaaah, Gertrude had mentioned not being a “mother figure” to Eric (MAG154: “I’m not exactly a mother figure.” “You could hardly do worse than her.”)… And Gertrude isn’t, indeed, but it was nearly impossible for Gerry to not feel that she was a bit like Mary, uh? Gerry had acknowledged it to Jon:

(MAG111) ARCHIVIST: Kind of sounds like you didn’t… trust her. GERRY: Yeah, I didn’t. I wanted to, I really did, but it was always the work. Sometimes she just reminded me of my mum. … Did you ever meet her, my mum?

3°) Gerry’s casual mix of respect and irreverence to Gertrude was… reminiscent of Eric’s snark towards her ;_; Gosh, Gerry!!! You took after your dad…

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

(MAG162) GERRY: I’m touched! You’re going soft in your old age. GERTRUDE: Hm! You are, occasionally, useful. Despite your foolishness. GERRY: Flatterer.

Down to the little bit of reminding Gertrude of her age…

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: Well, it’s… good to see you, I suppose. ERIC: You too. … You got old. GERTRUDE: Better than being dead. ERIC: [HUFF] Fair enough.

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I’m not a complete incompetent. GERRY: Until dementia hits~ GERTRUDE: Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has. [FLIPPING OF PAPER] Go burn your book.

I love that small domesticity/casualness? Gertrude had admitted that she had grown “rather fond” of “Gerard” in MAG137 (and she called him “Gerard” still in MAG162: so no, Gerry never regarded her as a friend like he did with Jon), and we could feel it? She was firm and scolding, yet allowing them to talk, explaining how she was proceeding to him, what she thought would happen with a successful apocalypse, warning him against tying himself to the Institute – and yet, not being entirely honest with him, hiding the tunnels&Leitner from him, and… not even telling him about Eric’s page (Gerry had mentioned in MAG111 that he had hoped to find his father’s page in the book, but that there wasn’t any… so he didn’t know that there used to be one but that it had been given to Gertrude, uh?).

It also breaks me a bit how… youthful Gerry sounded? Bantering and impertinent, bold and daring (taking a look into Gertrude’s stuff behind her back!), a bit laid-back, a bit insecure (“What happens if we fail?”), and asking Gertrude for answers that he couldn’t provide, couldn’t fathom, as if she had the infinite knowledge… By this time, Gerry was almost or around 30, I think? And yet he still sounds like an adolescent, and it makes so much sense given how he grew up…

4°) The awkward offer of burning more stuff for Gertrude…

(MAG162) GERRY: You, uh… need anything else burning? GERTRUDE: No, no…! Not right now. [INHALE] I think I’m alright, thank you for the offer.

You polite kid…

5°) I wonder if:

(MAG162) GERRY: What happens if we fail? [FLIPPING OF PAPER] [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: In… what sense? GERRY: If we miss a ritual, you know. If one of them works. GERTRUDE: Been losing sleep, have you? GERRY: Mh, something like that.

The possible lack of sleep/tiredness/concerns might have been partially linked to Gerry’s cancer developing without him noticing – but his body beginning to let him down a bit…

- I’m laughing hard that the possibility of Gerry getting tied to the Institute was raised:

(MAG162) GERRY: So, do I get to hear them? GERTRUDE: Perhaps. If you live long enough. But somehow I doubt Elias would look favourably on your application. And if I’m being quite honest… GERRY: Yeah – I know, I know. A–and I don’t want your job. GERTRUDE: Believe me, the perks aren’t worth the shackles.

Since… oh boy, Elias really didn’t like this effing family, uh.

(MAG062) GERTRUDE: Why are you here? MARY: To make my statement, of course. I know the Institute and me haven’t always seen eye to eye, as it were, but I thought it was the least I could do. […] Well, they don’t understand up there. They don’t know what this place is. You do, though, don’t you? We’re on the same side, really, even if Elias disagrees. GERTRUDE: If you say so.

(MAG158) ELIAS: And how exactly were you planning on achieving that while you’re still bound to the… ha. Oh, I see. Very clever. [CHUCKLE] I thought Eric was the only one to figure that little morsel out.

Gerry was the son of Friggin’ Mary Keay, and of Eric-The-One-That-Got-Away. No wonder that Elias would not “look favourably” on his application.

… And it’s getting even more hysterical when remembering that Gerry is descended from the VON CLOSEN, ALBRECHT’S FAMILY. ALBRECHT WHOM JONAH HAD SCREWED OVER.

(With the suspicious things about the genealogy: Mary didn’t descend from Albrecht, but from Wilhelm, Albrecht’s nephew… officially. Because there is still the matter that Carla&Albrecht couldn’t have any children in 1816 (MAG023), but Albrecht had two sons by 1831 (MAG127), of age to go to boarding school. Which means they were roughly conceived after MAG023’s events, when Jonah visited to get the books. While Carla hadn’t been able to have any children until then. What I mean is, there is still a little small possibility that Albrecht’s children were adopted by Wilhelm’s branch after his death, and that Gerry is a direct descendant of Albrecht…………… or of Jonah. Because the “can’t have children with my wife, but she got pregnant around the time you visited” is incredibly suspicious. And because it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh to think that Gerry could be Jonah’s biological descendant, the AWKWARDNESS.)

- What Leitner was it about, and what powers?

(MAG162) GERRY: Yeah, yeah. [FLIPPING OF PAPERS] … So, what’s the verdict? GERTRUDE: Hm? GERRY: On The Travels! GERTRUDE: Oh. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] Burn it, I think. You said Mr Hampton was dead? GERRY: Yup! And not peacefully. GERTRUDE: But you hadn’t seen its powers? GERRY: Not directly. GERTRUDE: Well… Given the themes of the original, I doubt it has anything that would be worth the danger.

Gulliver’s? Marco Polo’s? Spiral, Lonely, Vast things?

- Given that Gertrude raised the danger of bringing items to the Archives:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Gerard! We’ve talked about this. Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the Archive is incredibly dangerous…! GERRY: It’s locked away! GERTRUDE: And I’m sure the lock is very sturdy. But that doesn’t stop it being an unnecessary risk.

I still wonder about how they proceed in Artefact Storage? Sasha said it was bad, we know that the original Elias started there, the calliope was stored there (until it was stolen), Jon gave them the Coffin during season 4… what means of protection do they use?

(Accidents still happen, if Salesa’s letter from MAG115 is any indication, but it’s impressive that the Institute is still standing while containing so many dangerous things?)

- Gotta love how Gertrude’s arson streak has been put to the foreground this season:

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: Paper burns well. [GURGLING LIQUID] Petrol burns… better. LEITNER: Aha! I always forget about your pyromaniac streak. GERTRUDE: Mm. Remind me to tell you about Agnes, sometime…!

(MAG162) GERRY: And when in doubt… GERTRUDE: Well, quite. [FLIPPING OF PAPER] GERRY: Can I use your wastepaper bin? […] GERTRUDE: You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. […] GERRY: You, uh… need anything else burning?

And Gerry didn’t know what she had in store for The Stranger (the plastic explosive) but had described how she had looked while thinking about it and:

(MAG111) ARCHIVIST: But you don’t know what it is? GERRY: No. When I asked her she said she’d show me when we got back to London. Mind you, she had this weird look in her eyes, like it was some kind of a joke. ARCHIVIST: I mean… it wasn’t, w–was it? A–A joke. GERRY: I don’t think so. Gertrude didn’t make jokes.

Gerry is the same as Martin when it comes to Just Little Archivist Jokes, uh.

- Regarding how Gerry was planning to burn his book, would it involve the lighter with the Eye that was described in MAG012?

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “the younger man had only a Zippo lighter with an eye design on it similar to the one tattooed all over him and an old passport that identified him as Gerard Keay.”

We still don’t know what happened to that one… Plus, Gerry had lost a few items around that time too, and we never learned if they had been destroyed in his fight against Diego Molina nor what they were supposed to do:

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “After a few seconds of awkward silence, Gerard spoke. He asked me if the paramedics had brought any items in with them. Specifically, he was after a small book bound in red leather and a brass pendant he had been wearing. He didn’t say what design had been on the pendant but I guessed it had been an eye. I told him that neither of those things had been brought in with him, and he was quiet for a long time.”

(The book was Diego’s, we know from Basira. Regarding the pendant, I’m still wondering if it was a gift from Eric, but it was never mentioned again…)

- NO WONDER that Jon starts rewinding the tape to listen again and again to Gertrude saying that she didn’t think there was a way to revert an apocalypse…

(MAG162) GERRY: Could it be undone? [SILENCE] [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: [SIGH] … No. I don’t think so. Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on realit– [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: … No. I don’t think so. Once an– [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: No. I don’t think so. [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: I don’t think so. [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [LONG WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.

[…] MARTIN: Do you think it’ll do anything? Confronting Elias? ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] I… [SIGH] Maybe? MARTIN: No, I’m serious. Do we… [PAUSE IN THE PACKING SOUNDS] Is there a chance that we can undo this? ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE] Gertrude didn’t think so. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: … Right. ARCHIVIST: [SOFT] But she’s dead. [FIRMER] Let’s find out for ourselves.

… Since she had just lied through her teeth to Gerry about the tunnels.

(MAG162) GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then– GERTRUDE: Of course, Gerard…! I just happened not to mention the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the Archive, where I keep all my darkest secrets…! GERRY: I mean, you joke, but there could be. It’s that kind of place! GERTRUDE: I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I’m not a complete incompetent. GERRY: Until dementia hits~ GERTRUDE: Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has.

The scene happened in 2013-2014. However, she was already collaborating with Leitner (who had been using the tunnels following the destruction of his library) since around 2011, and we know that she did burn books down there at some point:

(MAG080) ARCHIVIST: And why was Gertrude helping you? LEITNER: Aside from my knowledge about the books? I think she was lonely. I didn’t meet her until about six years ago, after she’d lost the last of her own assistants. She would mention them sometimes. I believe she missed having someone to talk to on occasion.

(MAG004, Dominic Swain) “The only thing I found that looked even remotely relevant was a listing on eBay from 2007. The auction was titled “Key of Solomon 1863 owned by MacGregor Mathers and Jurgen Leitner” and had been won for just over £1200 by a deactivated user – grbookworm1818.”

(MAG080) ARCHIVIST: Like The Key of Solomon? LEITNER: That one was a mistake. I thought that, in the tunnels, there might be the stability to examine it properly, learn something of the forces arrayed against us. But it went wrong. We had to destroy it. I should have known, really. It was one of the few volumes that contained elements of several different powers.

(MAG070) ARCHIVIST: But, shortly after I started exploring the second level, I found something. It was a room, empty except for three wooden chairs. It looked like there had previously been more, but they had been smashed. Based on the scorch marks in the corner, I think I know what they were used for. The ashes were old, impossible to tell what they might have been before they were burned, except for the small scraps of old paper dotted around the floor. I think someone tore up a book and then burned it. There was only one scrap large enough to decipher anything legible: “They have for adversaries the Satariel, or concealers, the Demons of absurdity, of intellectual inertia, and of Mystery.” That answers the question of what happened to the copy of The Key of Solomon that Gertrude bought. But if she only bought it to destroy it, why down there? There seemed no especial significance to the room, except that it contained some old wooden furniture.

(We don’t know if she had burned books down there before Gerry’s suggestion… but eh, it’s Gertrude, she just LIED TO HIS FACE about the tunnels under the Institute, it was probably a habit already.)

It makes sense for Gerry to think tunnels sound reasonable, since he had experience with them (he knew things about Smirke, he had been there during the rediscovery of the tunnels under Pall Mall in MAG035); it makes sense for Gertrude to prevent Leitner and Gerry from interacting, since Gerry had a Grudge (and beat him up without being convinced that it was him)… I’m just laughing so hard again that GERTRUDE did Gertrude things and just lied so blatantly and fiercely.

It sounds, after the rewinding, like Jon thinks that she was being truthful about her opinions on the impossibility of reversing the apocalypse, given what he told Martin afterwards – was he trying to use his powers to detect a lie? Personally, I’m not convinced that Gertrude thought that it couldn’t be undone, or that she didn’t have any idea for a back-up plan if necessary, since… anyway, she was shown lying. And even Elias seemed to think that she might have an idea against The Dark:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “When I saw that she was making no preparations whatsoever to stop it, I realised she was putting into practice a theory – and one she couldn’t afford to be wrong. She was going to wait, and see if the unopposed ritual succeeded, or if it collapsed under its own strain, as mine had all those years ago. Knowing Gertrude, I’m sure she had a backup plan if she had miscalculated; but she had not. The ritual failed.”

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: If my guess is right, the Church’s ritual should be collapsing at any time now, so… immediately. LEITNER: And if you’re wrong? GERTRUDE: Then a bit of gas will be the least of our worries.

So they could still find something left shortly before her death, about the seed of an idea. Maybe not! I’d be fully satisfied if the tonality of the end of MAG162 is to be taken this way: that no, Gertrude didn’t think there was a way, but that Jon&Martin are leaving her shadow and pushing further, and will find something, since they are still alive and can still discover and invent things. It might not be what they expect, it might make things worse; it will still be them trying and doing something that Gertrude couldn’t have done.

- … Gertrude made excellent guesses as to how the apocalypse would probably unravel, since it’s… what Jon&Martin seem to be experiencing:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: … If we are lucky, then that failure will also mean our deaths. GERRY: You don’t think they can reach us after death? GERTRUDE: I suppose that depends on your religious beliefs. [WOOD CREAKS] Personally, I suspect death puts us beyond their power; either because we find ourselves in… some kind of afterlife, or because we simply… “cease to be”. GERRY: … Yeah, I guess. GERTRUDE: And I am certain that either scenario is preferable to lingering in a world they control. [INHALE] They’re… already able to circumvent physics, and suspend natural laws. If one were to – genuinely – press through, I suspect they would rewrite them wholesale; most likely making them… utterly incomprehensible to any survivors. They, they might still need us human enough to be afraid, but beyond that… Let’s just surmise that petty rules like space or time would be unlikely to factor into the proceedings. They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape; keeping us… alive and afraid – forever. […] Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.

1°) Time and space have indeed been affected (the statement number cases are still a succession of #, the cabin stopped being neutral, Martin’s impression of Jon about the maps highlighted that space isn’t objective anymore either); humans are indeed kept alive without needing to eat, people outside seem to not be dying:

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: How are you feeling today? ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE] Define… “today”. [CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: “How are you feeling in general”, then? ARCHIVIST: … Unchanged. [PAUSE] I don’t know if it’ll ever change again…! [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLE]

(MAG161) MARTIN: You should get some sleep. [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] can’t. I–I–I can’t, I–I don’t think I do anymore… “Sleep”. [EXHALE] How long’s it been, now? MARTIN: I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count anymore. All the clocks have stopped, and… [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Well, I haven’t yet. I get… tired, but it doesn’t feel the same. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Probably for the best. Sleep doesn’t look… pleasant. MARTIN: Nnno, it’s… it’s not. […] What about food? ARCHIVIST: What about it? When’s the last time you thought to eat, o–or even felt hungry? MARTIN: [FAINT] What…? Wha… Uh… I don’t know. ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever is sustaining us now doesn’t need us to eat. MARTIN: That… that can’t be possible– ARCHIVIST: It’s a new world, Martin, the natural laws are whatever they want them to be. And I suspect they don’t much care to keep humanity fed and watered.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The land outside is warped and twisted by the touch of those things that feed on your suffering, and behind those rough wooden planks, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] it seems they cannot reach you. […] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] But you have need of neither […] Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. They cannot breach the surface, as the slick soil flows down their throats. […] Throw another log on the fire and curl up close. There are always more logs for the fire here.” […] MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLING] Uh, Martin, I… MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah… ARCHIVIST: W– Uh, yes– MARTIN: But I’ve, I’ve packed them anyway because you never know. ARCHIVIST: Martin, I… MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright.

The only thing Gertrude doesn’t seem to have factored in is about the Archivist themselves (“making [the law of physics]… utterly incomprehensible to any survivors. […] as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.”): Jon was able to see through the thing-that-wasn’t-tea’s deceit in the trailer, and through the cabin’s in this episode – deconstructing the way the cabin was functioning… to free himself from its influence. That was a very Beholding thing, matching Jane Prentiss’s rant about The Eye (MAG032: “I see now why the hive hates you. You can see it and log it and note its every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.”). There is at least one person who has the potential “to do [something] about it”, and probably more (what about Georgie? What about plain mundane non-main characters?).

- OUFFTTT, once again, that Gertrude was very conscious that the Powers subject people to a fate worse than death… and would still make the choice of binding Gerry to the book, even though she also knew from Eric that it was an awful state of (not-)being.

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: … What’s it like? Being… bound to the book. ERIC: I don’t know how to describe it…! Never was great with words. Bad. It feels… bad. All the time. I know that I’m not really “Eric”, I’m just a… memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.

(MAG111) GERRY: It hurts. Being like this. And it’s not like any pain you can feel when you’re alive. It’s… it hurts to exist. To be dead and still here.

The big irony that Gerry should have died “naturally”, and was ready to cease to exist… and that Gertrude, of all people, forbade him to do so. Technically, there is still the mystery of why… Gertrude did it and left him behind in America, as Gerry pointed out:

(MAG111) GERRY: I think… I think I finally understand why she brought me back. I just don’t understand why she left me behind.

Was it to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for her successor? Was she fearing that, if she were to die (by Elias’s hand or someone else’s), Elias would get his hands on the page and destroy it if it was kept at the Institute? (And why did Gertrude allow Gerry so close to her while he was covered in eyes? She knew about Jonah’s trick already (Eric knew about it from when they were working together), and Elias knew that Gerry&Gertrude had worked together (as he was keeping MAG102’s statement and gave it to Jon only when Jon revealed that he now “knew” about their collaboration). Gertrude accused Gerry of taking risks, yet she took… so many, with him…)

- With the description of the people buried alive outside of the cabin, and Gerry&Gertrude’s talk about death being denied in the world of fear… that puts The End on the foreground again, too. Does that aspect of the blob of terrors get its fill with the agony of not dying, and with the fear of living without being able to die? Or did it draw the shorter straw in the new world?

- YYYYYYYYAAAYYYY, I was suspecting it but! Finally, confirmation about Gertrude’s use of the tape recorders, when she was and wasn’t using them! Jon had wondered for so long!

(MAG041) ARCHIVIST: Even when the police finally found Gertrude’s body, they took it, chair and all, as well as all the tapes. “Evidence”, they said, and they might be right, though I don’t envy them the task of going through all of them. There must have been hundreds. … No. I suppose in some way I do envy them. They are an insight into my predecessor’s time here; something I desperately want to know more about. Whatever’s on them, it must be important, because… either she chose to hide them down here or… whoever killed her did.

(MAG044) ARCHIVIST: I will admit to some disappointment it doesn’t address any of my more… pressing questions about Gertrude’s tapes. Why did she begin recording them, and why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would have likely gotten through much of the archive […].

(MAG087) ARCHIVIST: I had assumed Gertrude had recorded to tape for a while and then stopped, but it seems she was recording them right up until the end. But if they did span decades of working at the Institute, why aren’t there more? And what decided which statements she transferred?

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. [DRAWER OR DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Just the recorded confession of your evil plans, then. [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: I’d be something of a fool to leave that one in the recorder. GERRY: I’ve never really seen you use it. GERTRUDE: Hm! It’s generally only for those statements I think might be useful to my successor. Or, the occasional interview. GERRY: So, do I get to hear them? GERTRUDE: Perhaps. If you live long enough.

That’s why there were technically so few, and so many of them seemed related to the rituals! It was supposed to be practical, useful information in case she were to die, she was actually much more prepared than Jon had assumed, they were supposed to be heard by her successor! (MAG137: “Anyway. Point is, you can probably discount The Slaughter. It had its chance.”)

- … Squint because, with how Gertrude had lied re:Leitner…

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. […] Oh, and… Gerard. GERRY: Hm? [WOOD CREAKING] GERTRUDE: Don’t go rifling through my things in future. It could end… badly, for you.

… It definitely sounds like there was/is something in the stationery cupboard.

- First time we’re hearing Gerry alive, and first time hearing him while discussing with Gertrude… and almost the first time we hear Tim&Sasha together. Technically, they had already been heard together, although for a very brief moment, in MAG039 (when Sasha tackled him to save him), and last episode was the first time we heard them in the same room for more than a few seconds… AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO BE HEARD TOGETHER, TALKING TOGETHER, TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER… ;___;

(Sasha/Tim was already one of my fav ships as a “potential” and “I like pain apparently??” since the end of season 1 and the fact that hey! last time Tim had seen Sasha before she got Not!Them’d, it was because she had saved his life! I’m fine!, I’ve been screaming for a week.)

- Context was apparently when Jon had very recently been promoted to Head Archivist, so second half of 2015 (since MAG123’s statement was handed on August 1st 2015 and Jon had mentioned that it was shortly after Gertrude’s disappearance, without any mention of his own tenure, so… he wasn’t in place by then), apparently shortly before MAG001 and his recordings since… Tim was apparently searching for a tape recorder?

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] TIM: [SIGH] SASHA: This it? TIM: Oh, thank God! I thought I was seeing things. SASHA: Glad I could help. TIM: I didn’t know he was actually gonna ask me to get it for him, I just… mentioned it ‘cause he was talking about recording. SASHA: Well, I’m sure he’s waiting…! TIM: Hm, he can wait a bit longer.

Which would put the scene in the storage room, given that Jon had already mentioned a few things about his very first tape recorder:

(MAG044) ARCHIVIST: I will admit to some disappointment it doesn’t address any of my more… pressing questions about Gertrude’s tapes. Why did she begin recording them, and why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would have likely gotten through much of the archive and, moreover, I wouldn’t have had to find this tape player tucked away in the storage room, covered in dust and cobwebs.

(SPIDERRRRSSSS.) So psssh, Jon, it wasn’t YOU who found it, but Tim, with Sasha’s help!

(And I’m SOBBING??? That Tim had spotted it first??? And had wanted to record Jon’s birthday party with one??? Although he would grow to hate the tape recorders so much by season 3???)

- I’m sobbing over the fact that there can only be ONE qualified Archives Team member per generation.

(MAG154) ERIC: So when I finished my Master’s in Library Science and saw a vacancy at the Magnus Institute, of all places, I jumped at the chance. The chance to pursue my passion and my career at the same time seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up! It was only an “assistant archivist” position, of course, but that was fine. A good entry position, I’d, “I’d soon move on,” I told myself. [HUFF] Yeah…

(MAG162) TIM: If only there had been someone more qualified…! [STAPLING] SASHA: Tim. TIM: Sasha. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: It’s Elias’s decision. […] Mm, Tim… I’ve been in academia for what, ten years now? TIM: Mm. SASHA: I know how this goes! I didn’t get the job. If I kick up a stink, I’ll just get blackballed.

And at the same time, ezusdjezds. Sasha was a Disaster like Jon archiving-wise, uh.

(MAG162) SASHA: Fantastic! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] Good of you to volunteer to help me. TIM: Uh! I, er, didn’t actually… SASHA: Grab a stapler. TIM: [SIGH] … Fine. [STAPLING] What are we doing? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Jon’s been getting frustrated with all the loose statement sheets around. [STAPLING] I’m going box by box, collating and stapling them. And now? So are you.

Sasha STAPLING UNIQUE, ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS, INTRODUCING A NEW MATTER SUBJECTING THEM TO POTENTIAL RUST, and Jon “Put a Post-It on the tapes or something” were the Same Kind Of People.

- If Sasha has been in academia for ten years, it means she is at the very least 28 at this point (if she’s counting her studies as “academia” — even older if not). Tim had worked for five years after his own diploma, before joining the Institute around 2013, so… not canon-canon, but more tiny bits of proof leaning towards the idea that Old Millenial Jon was actually the Archives’ youngest <3

- I randomly love the little detail that Tim would blame Elias’s choice on sexism, because it does make a lot of sense given what he knew, because to his eyes (and Sasha’s), Elias had chosen an underqualified man over a qualified woman?

(MAG162) SASHA: It’s Elias’s decision. TIM: [SIGH] It’s some sexist bullshit, is what it is…! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: I mean… probably.

And yet, no, it wasn’t sexism (or not only sexism), since Jonah had previously chosen Gertrude, as James Wright or as his predecessor. But Tim couldn’t know!

- I! Love! That Tim was the one to point out and insist that the situation is unfair to Sasha…

(MAG162) TIM: Look, it should have been you, and you just know if you had called him out, the little weasel would start talking about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder, Jimmy Magma.” […] Ah! I’m serious though. You should say something.

Because it matches with what we saw of him, as someone who was very conscious of what is and isn’t a healthy workplace environment? (Like, yeah, he does make jokes, and there is the Infamous April Fool’s 2016, and Jon’s surprise birthday party! But when things are truly messed up, he points it out.)

(MAG048) ELIAS: Martin and Tim have both approached me. Apparently, you’ve been spying on them. ARCHIVIST: Spying on them…?! Of course not! No, it’s just… I– I’ve been… worried about their mental health following Prentiss’s attack, so I’ve been… keeping a closer eye on them than usual. ELIAS: Tim says you were watching his house. ARCHIVIST: Ah, it, w– that’s just not true. ELIAS: Well, what matters is your team thinks that it could be.

(MAG058) TIM: Look, I tried talking to Elias about it, but it doesn’t seem to do any good! MARTIN: He’s just under a lot of pressure. You know how messed up he’s been since Prentiss. TIM: How messed up he’s been?!

(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: Well, Elias clearly thought that– TIM: Elias should have fired you weeks ago. ARCHIVIST: What?! TIM: After everything you’ve pulled, you should be gone. But no. Instead, we all get to talk about how you’re feeling, because we’re worried about our stalker boss!

It showed that he worked for long (five years) in another company before The Magnus Institute?

- I really really hope that Elias was Watching and grinding his teeth because:

(MAG162) TIM: Look, it should have been you, and you just know if you had called him out, the little weasel would start talking about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder, Jimmy Magma.” SASHA: [LAUGHS] [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Johnny… Magnum? SASHA: Closer. TIM: Jack Magnet. SASHA: That’s the one!

The lack of respect… Tim, I love you so much…

1°) The way Tim parodied Elias, it sounds like Elias was quite often raving about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder”??? ELIAS………. (“I heard that Jonah Magnus had an eight pack.”)

2°) So, “little weasel” according to Tim and “weird little freak” according to Daisy in MAG082: is Elias… not very tall. (While Peter big–)

3°) I love that TMI Tim from The Magnus Institute (pretended that he?) couldn’t remember the name of the founder. Hey, at least, he didn’t suggest “Jonathan Magnus”.

4°) I LOVE HOW SASHA LAUGHED AND WAS HAVING FUN, TOO!!! Gods, Tim&Sasha were too damn cute together…

- Things that really, really didn’t age well: Tim mentioning murder.

(MAG162) TIM: Ah… yeah. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] … What if we kill him? SASHA: [CHUCKLING] What, Elias? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: No. Big Boss Sims! Cut the brakes on his office chair, no one would ever know! SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: Swap in a poisoned teabag, pin it on Martin – the perfect crime.

(MAG058) TIM: Look, I tried talking to Elias about it, but it doesn’t seem to do any good! MARTIN: He’s just under a lot of pressure. You know how messed up he’s been since Prentiss. TIM: How messed up he’s been?! MARTIN: Of course, I’m sorry – sorry, I didn’t mean that you weren’t, just– TIM: No! Because I didn’t start stalking my co-workers! MARTIN: Maybe try talking to him. TIM: Sure. Like he doesn’t already look at me like I’m a murderer.

(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: I said there’s no need for the attitude; I know things have been difficult, but– TIM: Oh? They have, have they? “Things” have been difficult. You spent a month staring at that footage, double-checking every moment, timing every tea break, looking at me like I somehow staged it – but no, you’re right! Things have been difficult. […] Shut up! Just stop talking. I’m sick of this, I’m sick of you! We didn’t kill Gertrude, and no one wants to kill you, you pompous idiot!

Lucky that this tape didn’t end up in Jon’s hands during season 2, uh… (But at the same time, it had the original Sasha’s voice on it… so same question as in MAG161: who had kept the tapes for so long, and had managed to avoid that Jon would listen to them before he understood what was happening with the Not!Them?)

- Something doesn’t work in Tim’s “Cut the brakes on his office chair”: Jon’s chair scrapes on the floor, we’ve heard it plenty! It doesn’t have wheels! So maybe it was the case back when they were in research? (Or Tim broke it between this recording and MAG001.)

- TIM IS A MAN OF CULTURE!

(MAG162) SASHA: [CHUCKLES] And how do you know that you won’t be the one that gets it? That boy makes a lot of tea. TIM: Oh, it’s okay, I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. SASHA: Urgh! TIM: [PROUD SNORT]

And given Sasha’s reaction, she understood the Princess Bride reference!! (… And now that I think about it, their exchange had a bit of the Buttercup-Westley dynamic…)

- I’m not okay I’m very okay, Tim&Sasha… had canonically fucked…

(MAG162) TIM: I can’t believe you’d just abandon our intense [STAPLING] “Will-They-Won’t-They” storyline like that! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Hum… I’m pretty sure we established it’s very much “Won’t-They”. TIM: No-no-no-no. See, we had the ill-advised hook-up; the awkward aftermath; and the gradually rebuilt friendship. [STAPLING] But… that’s all season two stuff. We’ve got like five more seasons before we get the heart-warming epilogue that makes it canon~ [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: I know it’s hard to hear, mate! But you’re not the love interest. [STAPLING] I think you might be the character they drop after the pilot! TIM: Uh– W–Wow! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] You are vicious today! SASHA: Sorry, Tim! I can’t hear you over all this stapling.

And I LOVE what we’re seeing of their relationship? With Tim joking around and Sasha able to be savage but not cruel either – we could feel that they had that kind of relationship where they can be a bit pushy and mean as part of their inside jokes?

I was shipping them already!! I love what we’re hearing of their actual relationship, how comfortable they were around each other as friends-who-have-slept-together-in-the-past!! I totally get why Tim seemed to love Sasha gdi.

I love how we had tiny glimpses that Tim had lost someone precious with her, and now… we can feel how much it was the case:

(MAG026) ARCHIVIST: Are you sure you’re all right to do this now? You can take a few days off to recover if you need. SASHA: No, it’s fine. Tim’s getting me a coffee, and I’d rather get this down while it’s still fresh in my mind.

(MAG161) TIM: What, does someone need to change their password again! ARCHIVIST: I… what? TIM: [LAUGHS] ARCHIVIST: Sasha, have you been going through my computer– SASHA: Definitely not! No idea what he’s talking about. TIM: ‘Course not! SASHA & TIM: [LAUGHS]

(MAG039) SASHA: What is he doing? No, Tim, just run! Leave it alone! MARTIN: Oh no, no, no, no… SASHA: Turn around. Just turn around. MARTIN: Oh god. There she is, there she is. ARCHIVIST: [MUTTERING] There’s nothing we can do. SASHA: Ah, screw this. ARCHIVIST: What, Sasha, NO! [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: Tim, look out! […] ARCHIVIST: I need you to describe what’s going on. For the record. MARTIN: Ah, yeah. Sure. So, um, Sasha tackled Tim and there was kind of a struggle, but she made it out of the Archives. That, that was about two minutes ago and she’s gone to get help. P–probably. I mean, she, she couldn’t… she wouldn’t just run so…

(MAG065) TIM: And the worst thing? The actual worst thing is that no one here has my back. With any of it! Elias doesn’t care; Martin just wants a tea party; and Sasha… god, and you!

(MAG079) TIM: What the hell was that? MARTIN: It… er... It looked… It kinda looked… TIM: Oh don’t say it. MARTIN: It did, though, didn’t it? TIM: That wasn’t Sasha. MARTIN: No. No, no, it wasn’t. You don’t… you don’t think– TIM: He told her to go home. Like us! MARTIN: Yeah. TIM: And she did. […] MARTIN: I didn’t hear anything. Why, do you think it was the Sasha-thing? TIM: Will you shut up about that. It wasn’t anything like her.

(MAG082) MARTIN: Maybe they said something about Sasha, y’know? TIM: She’s dead, Martin. Come on! Even you’re not that blind. He got her too. MARTIN: Don’t you say that. Don’t you dare say that! […] I don’t know who that old man was, but Jon would never hurt Sasha. TIM: Fine. If it wasn’t him, it must have been that thing we saw. MARTIN: It was only for a second. And what with that weird finger guy, and the door… I mean, it d–didn’t look like her. TIM: It did. You know it did. Maybe it ate her. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was always some messed up mutant and we just never noticed. Could have been “Michael”. I mean, it basically told us it was working with Jon. When you disappear and there are more than three different ways you might be dea– … Look, I’m sorry. It’s just this place. [SIGH] Bad things happen and eventually you don’t come back. MARTIN: T–Tim… TIM: I’m going to go lie down.

(MAG086) TIM: Wait. Tell me about the two Sashas. […] What did she look like? MELANIE: What? Sorry? TIM: The first Sasha. What… What was she like? MELANIE: Uh, she was… um… I don’t, er… maybe I’m… I’m getting it wrong. I just… okay, I can’t, er– TIM: No. I… think I understand. MELANIE: Well, can you explain? TIM: … Who am I even sad for? MELANIE: I… I’m, I’m sorry… I don’t, er… TIM: Um… I’m, I’m going to lie down…

(MAG114) TIM: You know how long that thing pretended to be Sasha? ARCHIVIST: Oh god… TIM: And I had no idea? I knew Sasha for years, we… I don’t know Martin as well as I knew her; I barely know what Melanie and Basira look like, or that weird murder-cop.

When The Unknowing came, Tim only mentioned Danny and avenging him – he probably didn’t remember anything about the real Sasha, only that someone had been there and wasn’t anymore?

- Kudos to the soundscaping this ep, because the timing of when the stapling sounds happened was just On Point (hammering words in/adding a bit of a playfully threatening feeling).

- ………….. Sasha had considered leaving…………… even before MAG001…

(MAG162) TIM: So, what are you gonna do? SASHA: … I don’t know, really. Might just get another job. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: What…? Seriously, just jump ship? SASHA: Yeah, I guess so! I mean… [STAPLING] There’s not much out there at the moment, but I’ve got a few alerts set up. […] I guess it’s just… I just don’t have anything keeping me here. You’ve got your brother… TIM: … yeah… SASHA: … Sorry. And, Martin can’t go anywhere that’ll look too hard at his CV. […] Don’t worry, I just– I mean… I kind of just… ended up here. And I like it! Li–liked it. But if I’m bashing my head against the glass ceiling, it’s time to go. TIM: Well… [RUSTLING OF PAPER] I’ll miss you. SASHA: Yeah. [STAPLING] You will.

1°) In canon, Sasha had been the first one to mention the option of quitting:

(MAG026) SASHA: I should really quit, you know. We, we all should. I don’t think this a normal job. I, I don’t think this is a safe job. ARCHIVIST: You’re probably right. Do you want to quit? SASHA: No. I’m just… I’m just too damned curious, I suppose. You? ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever’s going on, I… need to know.

… and rejected it for the same reasons as Jon. But it’s interesting that with Tim, she identified that she didn’t have anything to make her stay back then, while we know of Tim’s and Martin’s reasons. Jon said that Sasha had always had an interest in the paranormal:

(MAG048) ARCHIVIST: Of course, it is becoming rapidly apparent in my investigation that I can trust nobody. But of all of them, Sasha seemed the least suspicious. I can’t find any evidence she ever even met Gertrude, and her working here seems the natural progression of her lifelong interest in the paranormal. She’s been doing her work with the same diligence as before the Prentiss incident and, indeed, of all of them, seems to have been the least affected.

… So was that part the Not!Them rewriting her history to “make sense” of Sasha working at the Institute, or something genuinely pre-existent?

2°) When it comes to Tim: he had pointed out that he had grown “comfortable” in research and that Danny had stopped being so much of a priority (MAG104), I… wonder if Sasha had anything to do with that. Did Tim accept Jon’s offer to transfer to the Archives because he knew that Sasha would go there…?

3°) I’m sad again for Martin, since Sasha pointed out that leaving the Institute wasn’t really an option for him. And remembering Martin’s wording at the end of season 1:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Why are you here Martin? MARTIN: Well, well, Prentiss is out there and you can’t run so– ARCHIVIST: I mean at the Archive in general. Why haven’t you quit? MARTIN: Are you giving me my review now? ARCHIVIST: No… We’re clearly doing a whole heart-to-heart thing and, truth be told, the question’s been bothering me. You’ve been living in the Archives for four months, constant threat of… this. Sleeping with a fire extinguisher and a corkscrew. Even you must be aware that that’s not normal for an archiving job? Why are you still here? MARTIN: [CONSIDERING] Don’t really know. I just am. It didn’t feel right to just leave. I’ve typed up a few resignation letters, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand them in. I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck.

It feels like, technically, Martin constructed his own trap through his lies. (Though, at this point he could have left the Institute and changed his CV, claiming an experience he now indeed had and scraping the fake diplomas. But then, the Institute isn’t seen favourably, so…)

- I REALLY WOULD HAVE NEVER EXPECTED TO LEARN that Sasha knew about Danny, oh GODS…

(MAG162) SASHA: [SIGH] … I guess it’s just… I just don’t have anything keeping me here. You’ve got your brother… TIM: … yeah… SASHA: … Sorry.

Tim’s small broken voice when she reminded him of it ;_;

And in the same way, I! Can’t! Believe! That! Martin! Had! Told! Tim! About! His! CV!

(MAG162) SASHA: … Sorry. And, Martin can’t go anywhere that’ll look too hard at his CV. TIM: … Wait. How do you know about that? SASHA: It’s all on the system. Our digital security is shocking, by the way. Besides, it’s not even a good lie. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Okay, but seriously, you cannot let Martin know. He’ll think I told you, and I swore to keep schtum. SASHA: Hey. Don’t worry, I just– I mean… I kind of just… ended up here.

1°) It’s absolutely hilarious that disaster!paranoid!stalker!season2!Jon… turned out to have been the last one of the original team to find out about Martin’s secret.

(MAG042) ARCHIVIST: There are a few pieces I feel could almost have been affecting if his style wasn’t so obviously enamoured with Keats, but there is an unfinished letter, addressed to his mother in Devon, in which he mentions that he is worried about “the others finding out I’ve been lying”. It may be nothing, some… inconsequential deception or other – after all, it is ostensibly written to his mother – but if it was actually to be sent to someone else… I will keep my eye on Martin.

(MAG056) MARTIN: I… … I lied on my CV. ARCHIVIST: … What? MARTIN: I don’t have a Master’s in parapsychology, I don’t even have a degree. When I was 17, my mom, she… had… she had some problems, and I ended up dropping out of school, t– trying to support us. I tried everything, but no one was hiring. So I… I just kinda started to lie on my applications, sending them out to just about anywhere. For some reason, my lie about parapsychology got me an interview with Elias and, and then a job here. M– most of my employment details are made up, I’m only 29! ARCHIVIST: Right, I… uh… I believe you! MARTIN: Why are you smiling…? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I just… hum… I won’t mention it to Elias. Just between us. MARTIN: So you… don’t… mind? ARCHIVIST: To be quite honest, Martin, I’m… I’m really rather relieved.

Sasha made her own research by hacking through the Institute system (pfTTR, take that Elias), and probably crosschecked Martin’s claims?, while Tim… knew because Martin had confided in him. Meanwhile, Jon spiralled around a misunderstanding, until he confronted Martin quite violently.

2°) I’m ;; emotional over the fact that Tim & Sasha didn’t know that the other knew, but kept Martin’s secret, even from Jon. Sasha had been a bit savage towards Martin in season 1:

(MAG026) SASHA: Right. Well, I’m sure you know I was sceptical about how dangerous this Jane Prentiss was when you first suggested Martin stay in the archive. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t believe him about what happened, it just seemed… Well, Martin is a great researcher, but his self-preservation instincts are not the strongest, and to be frank I thought that if this Prentiss were a danger everyone seemed to think, then he’d almost certainly be dead.

… Or at least condescending, but the fact that she knew about his CV is adding another dimension to these words: she knew he didn’t have the qualifications, and had still avoided to put the blame on his lack of competency (“Martin is a great researcher”). Tim and Sasha were casually protecting Martin in their own way, uh…

3°) Ouffftttt, it’s highlighting something mean about Martin&Tim’s dynamic… Tim had acknowledged that he was closer to Sasha than Martin:

(MAG114) TIM: You know how long that thing pretended to be Sasha? ARCHIVIST: Oh god… TIM: And I had no idea? I knew Sasha for years, we… I don’t know Martin as well as I knew her; I barely know what Melanie and Basira look like, or that weird murder-cop.

Martin had told Tim about his secret (the lies on his CV)… yet Tim hadn’t told him about Danny, which Martin would learn about in MAG104, while Sasha… knew. Had she discovered it by herself (police reports regarding the disappearance of Tim’s brother), or did Tim tell her? At least, they shared that secret.

- Tim was incredibly SAVAGE about Jon in this episode, but technically… he had still accepted Jon’s offer to go to the Archives – you wouldn’t do that for someone you truly despise and hate? But ;; that there was such heavy resentment towards the fact that Sasha had been robbed of the position… It’s fair, and he identified the genuine culprit (Elias), but wooooft, those were very harsh words towards Jon, still. (And at the same time: fair, when we remember what Jon was like in season 1.)

- I… love how that tape contributed both to Sasha and Tim as characters? It was a nice move to have them pointing out people’s misconceptions or “flattening” of their personalities, in a moment that was “outside” of the show’s formula (season 1, until the climax, was solely statements, work-related discussions being overall accidental):

(MAG162) TIM: Oh, for god’s sake! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] “Oh, Tim’s so hard to talk to, seriously, he won’t stop making jokes and references, not like Sasha!” They’ve got no idea. SASHA: And they never will. TIM: Seriously, though. [STAPLING] Everyone thinks you’re just this “reliable down-to-earth nerd”… [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: And what makes you think they’re wrong? TIM: So what? Actually I’m the one who doesn’t get to see the real you? [STAPLING] SASHA: No such thing. TIM: As what? SASHA: [SCOFF] A “real you”. TIM: [GROAN] SASHA: I don’t think so, at least. It’s all just masks. TIM: Alright, Stanislavski. SASHA: You know what I mean. TIM: You really believe that? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Kind of! I mean… TIM: [CHUCKLE] SASHA: … Who knows why we do what we do? TIM: I do. SASHA: No. [STAPLING] All you know is what your brain does to justify what you do. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] It’s no more “reason” than the face you put on for Jon. [STAPLING] The only real you is the actions you take. TIM: Hey! I’ll have you know, I have a rich inner life. SASHA: How nice for you. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] But hurry up with your outer one: you’re falling behind, and I’m not saving you any staples.

(And it was! So appropriate, to have Sasha point out that Gertrude was faking the old senile woman persona in the same exchange.)

1°) I love that Tim was aware that he was perceived as the One Making Jokes (and self-conscious about it? Or aware that some people were finding it off-putting and an obstacle to forming a meaningful bond with him?), while Sasha showed that she was a bit meaner than we had been led to assume (and indeed, “reliable” was the perfect way to describe her in season 1… through Jon’s eyes).

2°) Tim is a theatre kid confirmed, he knows his classics. (Stanislavski)

3°) Okay, so obviously, Sasha’s speech about how people appear/who they are, and the jokes about being forgotten are AOUCH considering what happened with the Not!Them:

(MAG162) TIM: What possible reason could she have for being criminally incompetent in a manky old archive? SASHA: No idea. And honestly, it kind of worries me. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Well… Tell you what. If you get eaten alive [STAPLING] by improperly filed statements? Me and Martin will avenge you. SASHA: Myeah, aren’t you sweet. TIM: I mean it! We’ll burn this place to the ground, it’ll be all like, “Sashaaa! Saaashaaaa!” SASHA: And what about Jon? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Well! “Given the incoherence of this statement, I find it hard to believe it ever occurred!” SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: “In fact, based on the evidence, I find it highly unlikely this Sasha ever even existed at all.” SASHA: No! You took it too far. I’m unforgettable!

But the first part of her argument reminded me mostly of The Web: how actions and intentions often don’t match, what is the essence of oneself amongst what is influencing you. The idea that intentions are posterior to action was very reminiscent of how Trevor had described The Web’s effects on him (MAG056), so… Mm.

I wonder if there is something about the fact that… all this irony about Sasha getting Stranger’d and forgotten, about Jon wishing for “quiet” and that the others would “go away”, is not… fabricated somehow? I don’t think the tapes could have been tampered with; it’s mainly that there was so much dramatic irony that it feels like Sasha’s fate had been engineered, somehow, to transform her words from the past into a sort of dramatic self-fulfilling prediction…? I mean, The Web was interested in story-telling (MAG123), and Sasha got attacked when coming near a Web artefact…

- I!! Love!! That Sasha!! Had been able to see through Gertrude!

(MAG162) TIM: Yeah, yeah! … I still can’t believe Gertrude was allowed to let this place get into such a state! SASHA: Mm. [STAPLING] I just want to know why. TIM: What do you mean, “why”? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] You saw her, she’s like a hundred years old and more cardigan than woman! She just started to lose it. Sad, but it happens. SASHA: You never talked to her, did you? [STAPLING] TIM: Well, I mean… I must’ve, at some point. SASHA: Eh! You’d remember. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Why? What was she like? SASHA: Stone. Cold. Bitch. TIM: Sasha! SASHA: And sharper than you. [STAPLING] No way this is accidental. TIM: [CHUCKLING] Oh, yeah, this is all a big geriatric conspiracy…! [SILENCE] Wait, seriously? SASHA: Mm–hmm.

(“Stone cold bitch” is… indeed the best way to describe Gertrude.)

Sasha had also been the first one to point out how shady Elias could be:

(MAG039) SASHA: … Did I ever tell you I first joined the Institute as a practical researcher? I had to analyse and investigate all the stuff in here. Take notes after sleeping in the rusted chair, write in the memory book, all that sort of thing. I transferred after three months. Would’ve quit, but couldn’t afford to back then. Never understood why they keep this stuff secret. I mean, we’ve, we’ve enough here to send any sceptic packing, but it’s just locked away. I… I asked Elias about it once, but he just muttered something about funding and mission statements. He’s good at changing the subject, isn’t he?

She was clever! Elias presented her death as a (useful) accident in MAG160, but it still feels like he casually did his best to make sure she wouldn’t stay around for long during the worms attack – how fast would she have understood about The Eye…?

- CURIOUSLY, Sasha told Tim that he would have remembered if he had spoken with Gertrude… but Jon did, and didn’t seem to feel much about it:

(MAG043) ARCHIVIST: I only ever spoke to Gertrude once or twice during her time as archivist. I… I was very new. I don’t remember what her voice sounded like.

… is there something that made Jon forget a few things, or already not pay attention to some things back before he become the Archivist…? (Since we already had the thing about Jon forgetting the ice cream outing last episode…)

- Tim blamed Sasha being passed over for a promotion on sexism, Elias mentioned that the fact Jon had been marked by The Web made him pick him… but technically, why not Tim, who had already encountered The Stranger?

(MAG104) TIM: You were watching then? ELIAS: Most of it. TIM: Surprised you didn’t know it already. That’s your thing, isn’t it? ELIAS: I knew there was some trauma that drew you to us, but I can’t say I ever thought to look much deeper. An oversight, perhaps, but I’m looking now.

… Was it because, unlike Jon who had nobody by the beginning of season 1, Tim&Sasha… were at least close to each other?

- More pressing concerns: did Tim&Sasha ever bang in the Archives.

(MAG162) TIM: [CHUCKLES] Alright. He fires you because of all the drugs and the wild orgies on Archive property. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Yeah, that’s fair! Now: get back to work.

Did orgies happen in the Archives.

- … That’s a LOT of references to fire in only two episodes, and four tapes which had been sent to Jon pre-apocalypse by someone/something who isn’t necessarily Elias.

(MAG161) TIM: … Oh, goodness! [SHAKES A BOX OF MATCHES] A source of ignition? In the Archives? […] Oh? Woops! [A MATCH IS LIT] Sorry; my hand slipped. And again. [CRACKLE OF A BIRTHDAY CANDLE WICK] And again. And… a couple more times, here – I’m so clumsy today; that is a lot of fire! ARCHIVIST: I’m really not comfortable with– SASHA: So blow them out, then. ARCHIVIST: Oh. [FIRE CRACKLING] … Right, yeah–

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: Paper burns well. [GURGLING LIQUID] Petrol burns… better. LEITNER: Aha! I always forget about your pyromaniac streak. GERTRUDE: Mm. Remind me to tell you about Agnes, sometime…!

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Eh! [INHALE] You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then– […] You, uh… need anything else burning?

(MAG162) TIM: Well… Tell you what. If you get eaten alive [STAPLING] by improperly filed statements? Me and Martin will avenge you. SASHA: Myeah, aren’t you sweet. TIM: I mean it! We’ll burn this place to the ground, it’ll be all like, “Sashaaa! Saaashaaaa!”

So. Really really unlikely that it was Elias sending them to “gloat”, as Martin assumed, since it feels too pointed. I’m still banking on The Web, but not necessarily as an indication of what Martin&Jon should do – more like a rubbing-in-your-face that they had all the keys back then, that Jon had been given the lighter, that the spiders had showed him in season 2 the gas main that Leitner had moved… and that they didn’t do anything. Or, burning the Archives is a necessarily step in The Web’s plan, The Web is trying to push into that direction by using Jon&Martin’s resentment towards Elias, and burning the Archives (if it doesn’t end up burning Jon-the-Archive himself) will make things worse somehow.

(Given how burning Gerry’s page had been so difficult (because knowledge and because the things Gerry could still tell him) and painful (he was sobbing in pain when he finally did it) for Jon in MAG117, I wonder how much worse it would be to burn The Eye’s Archives?)

And now, confirmation that Jon still has the lighter on him, it had been a while! And we might be getting closer to an answer about it, since… it was Martin mentioning it – Martin had been the one to receive that delivery.

(MAG035) MARTIN: I’m sorry, are you two meant– BREEKON: Won’t take up your time. HOPE: Just got a delivery. MARTIN: Look, you really can’t actually– BREEKON: Package for Jonathan Sims. HOPE: Says right here. MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know where he– HOPE: We’ll just leave it with you. BREEKON: Be sure he gets it.

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. […] Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk draw, hold on. [SOUND OF PACKAGE BEING RETRIEVED AND OPENED] TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive! TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front. Doesn’t mean anything to me. You?

(MAG037) ARCHIVIST: I just want a record. To make sure I have something I can check. MARTIN: Okay, fine. There were two delivery men. They were big, and they spoke with cockney accents that might have been fake, and they delivered a package for you. I don’t remember anything else about what they looked like. ARCHIVIST: Nothing at all? MARTIN: [EXASPERATED] They looked normal. Like you’d expect. They looked like two, huge, cockney delivery men. I don’t know what else you want? ARCHIVIST: What about the table? MARTIN: I didn’t see the table. I guess Rosie must have signed for it. I mean, it’s her office on the way to Artefact Storage, that makes sense.

(MAG039) ELIAS: Because there isn’t an actual fire. SASHA: Right, right. Can we set it off manually? I think Jon’s got a lighter somewhere. ELIAS: He’s not smoking again, is he?

(MAG091) DAISY: One wallet, brown leather, no cash. One packet cigarettes, Silk Cut. One lighter, gold, spiderweb design.

(MAG111) GERRY: Nice lighter. You a spider freak, then? ARCHIVIST: What? Oh! Er, no. I–I never really, uh… I never really thought of it. I–I’m Jon. I’m with the Magnus Institute.

(MAG136) DAISY: Spider’s sneaky like that. [PAUSE] Like that lighter you’re always using. Where’d you get that? ARCHIVIST: Mm. [STATIC] Good point. We should keep our eyes open. Anyway, how’s Basira doing?

(MAG162) MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH] You said this place, the–the cabin was… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It, it’s feeding on us, right? ARCHIVIST: Yes… MARTIN: … So should we… destroy it, before we go? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND, BUT LOUDER AND CONFRONTATIONAL] [DISTANT RUMBLE OF THUNDER] ARCHIVIST: I honestly don’t know if we can. MARTIN: Hm. ARCHIVIST: Besides, there’s… far worse out there. Better to try and avoid it, I think. MARTIN: We’re not even gonna try? We, we’ve got your lighter, maybe we could just– ARCHIVIST: We can’t fight the world, Martin. MARTIN: [AMUSED DEFIANT HUFF] Says you.

(This is how Web-Desolation!Martin can still win. ARSOOOOOOOON.)

Re: Jon’s lighter, and Jon constantly forgetting about it, I… am now also considering another option about what is making him forget that it has a spider design on it, that he got it in dubious circumstances (Breekon&Hope delivering it), and that it had stuck with him without Jon ever investigating about it.

What if it’s not The Web making him forget that he has it, but Beholding?

Making Jon not pay attention to it could absolutely be a Spider thing, we had a prime example with Gregory Cox (MAG123: “I haven’t given the name of this mystery client because to be honest, Greg’s never told me. I’ve asked him plenty of times, but whenever I do, he gives me this… surprised look, insists he’s told me before, and then immediately forgets and changes the subject.”), and that was my only supposition until now… but technically, we’ve already seen Beholding trying to prevent Jon from accessing information that he could use against it, too?

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: I went back to Eli– er, Peter’s office. To that box of tapes; started rifling through. And I started to try and pay attention to the ones I… wasn’t drawn to. The tapes I instinctively wanted to discard. [SIGH] There was one, this one, that my hand… pulled back from. I–I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up. Even now, I’m… [AUDIBLE FORCED SMILE] struggling to press play…! I am the avatar of Awful Knowledge And Revealed Secrets… so what does it not want me to know…?

The lighter could have been The Web keeping tabs on Jon and sometimes influencing him when it needed to by making itself forgotten… But it could also be that The Web sent the lighter, that it was there, that it stuck with Jon, that it was supposed to help him burn the Archives, that Beholding couldn’t get Jon to separate from it, but could still make sure that baby!Beholdingavatar!Jon was unable to pay attention to it and making his attention slip over it like water…? (Am still banking on Web-Web doing Web stuff but. Beholding is technically an option as well.)

- Other thing that these recordings all share: a tape recorder being around and acknowledged / alluded to. In MAG161, both the birthday party and Gertrude&Leitner’s exchange had been conscious, willing recording: Tim was recording the scene as a memory, Gertrude had been recording a message to her successor in case things went badly.

In MAG162, recorders were there and acknowledged… but it’s a bit less clear whether they were supposed to be turned on or not.

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] [BOTTLES CLINKING] [PLASTIC RATTLING] GERRY: Hm? GERTRUDE: Find anything [ITEM FALLING ON THE GROUND] interesting– GERRY: Oh…! GERTRUDE: –back there? [DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Yeah, sorry, I was just, hum… yeah. GERTRUDE: Curiosity is a very dangerous trait in our line of work, Gerard. GERRY: So is ignorance. GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. [DRAWER OR DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Just the recorded confession of your evil plans, then. [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: I’d be something of a fool to leave that one in the recorder. GERRY: I’ve never really seen you use it. GERTRUDE: Hm! It’s generally only for those statements I think might be useful to my successor. Or, the occasional interview.

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] TIM: [SIGH] SASHA: This it? TIM: Oh, thank God! I thought I was seeing things. SASHA: Glad I could help. TIM: I didn’t know he was actually gonna ask me to get it for him, I just… mentioned it ‘cause he was talking about recording. SASHA: Well, I’m sure he’s waiting…! TIM: Hm, he can wait a bit longer.

In both cases: the recorder was there. Gerry found it while inspecting Gertrude’s private things (and it was already recording before we heard him manipulating something plastic, most likely tape boxes); Sasha helped Tim to find (again) the tape recorder he was searching for for Jon. But in both cases, nobody mentioned they were being recorded, or that they had accidentally clicked it on. Were they turned on by accident, or were they already “autonomous” (/controlled by something else), leading to the recording? Tim had trouble finding the tape recorder again – had it… disappeared for a while? It’s still unclear whether or not they were already acting up on their own at the time…

(Something else these four tapes have in common is that the Archives were hosting… “unprofessional” activities putting a risk to documents? Jon’s birthday party (Tim even had matches), Gertrude ready to pour petrol in the Archives, and here: Gerry riffling through Gertrude’s possessions, Sasha stapling documents.)

- Overall, I loved loved loved the “statement”: it was so eerie, cruel and poetic? So insidiously cutting under the soft voice? And redfiojr I’m so happy and so mad about the fact that the cabin wasn’t neutral anymore and was feeding on Jon&Martin, because it was so obvious in retrospect! Jon spitting that there was no “comfort” anymore in the new world, but very adamant that they were “safe” and should stay there!

(MAG161) MARTIN: O–kay, we’ll just file that under… ominous, for now. … We seem safe enough in here, at least. ARCHIVIST: I suppose so. MARTIN: Bit of a hideaway? ARCHIVIST: Or a prison. MARTIN: Uh, yes. Still: better than outside. […] ARCHIVIST: It hurts. MARTIN: I know. ARCHIVIST: … I need time. MARTIN: I know. But we can’t stay in this cabin forever…! [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Why not? It, it’s quiet here, an–and I have you…! […] MARTIN: Well, that as may be, we can’t just stay here forever. ARCHIVIST: What could possibly be out there that you want to see? MARTIN: A way to stop this, a way to turn the world back! ARCHIVIST: [HINT OF A DISHEARTENED SMILE] … Do you really think there is one? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: Well, if there is, it’s not in here, is it? ARCHIVIST: It’s so… It’s so loud, out there? The agony, the–the terror, I can see it all so much more clearly…! MARTIN: I’m sorry. ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time. [SILENCE] MARTIN: It’s alright. [RUSTLING OF CLOTHES] [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: [SOFT EXHALE] MARTIN: It’s alright, I’m good at waiting.

The creaking sounds were overly present – it was because the house was a character by itself! And indeed, it was curious that Martin felt like he was “visiting” Jon, and not like… they were living in the same tiny space?

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: … Wha…? [STATIC REACHING A PEAK] … “There is a place, deep in the heart of Fear, where you trap yourself and claim that it is safety. [STATIC DECREASES] It was once a cabin, and professes still to be such, but as with all in this new world that promises respite… it is a trap. […] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. […] Look closer at the rough planks that make this cabin, and see that they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the hard timber they present. Are the dimensions of this place quite what they were when you stayed here before The Change…? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Or are the walls thicker, the doors heavier when they close. [LONG WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Where the curtains always stained that dull maroon? Or has the dust of the horrific world they keep at bay dyed them so. The one you love is always near, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison. And yet your voice does not echo when you call to them; and they find they sometimes cannot hear it.”

[…] MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. […] I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink–

I have questions about that cabin, though, because it now feels like it was supposed to be a full house even before the Change, given the bedS (we all know that Jon&Martin used to only use one anyway during the three weeks honeymoon, uh.) and the mention of the attic. Daisy, what the heck was your safehouse, it wasn’t a tiny thing.

- Personally, cabin felt like a mix of Corruption, Buried, Lonely to me /o/

- I wasn’t expecting so much Jon&Martin, AND YET, I’m delighted:

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time. [SILENCE] MARTIN: It’s alright.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. […] There within the thing that pretends to be a cabin is the one you love. You hold each other, whisper words of reassurance, but the place knows this comfort to be a lie, and laces upon it instead the awful fear of losing what you have. […] It will not let you feel the warmth of joy that this love may claim to gift – it is only a mouldy treasure to be clung to; something to fear the loss of as you hold it so tight that it withers, and warps. […] The one you love is always near, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison. And yet your voice does not echo when you call to them; and they find they sometimes cannot hear it. […] “Stay!” the cabin says. [THUNDER CLAPPING] “Stay within my false defences; cling so close to what you desperately wish to save, and live in shaking fear of the things beyond that may take it from you. Throw another log on the fire and curl up close. There are always more logs for the fire here.””

The Eye and the cabin, sharing a bag of popcorn while Jon&Martin were being pda for an undetermined infinite amount of time.

(Yessss that one of Jon’s fears, used against him, was his fear of losing Martin… ;_;)

- SUPER GLAD that alright, they’re leaving the cabin already, Jon was in such a state partially because of supernatural influence, and snapped out of it already. It… wasn’t making me super comfortable re:Martin, because it was putting him back in the position of the caretaker of a moody, depressed person, trying to please/assuage Jon while doomed to fail, without leaving much space to Martin as a character for himself. While he was already beaming again at the end of this episode, and showing his competences for himself, so yay!

I’m surprised that they’re already going on the move – there are still 38 episodes in the season, they already have a goal (going back to the Institute, finding Elias), what will happen after they do?

- … So, I’m guessing those were the people that lived in the village:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Outside, it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. [EVIL MOO / BÂÂ IN THE DISTANCE] [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] They cannot breach the surface, as the slick soil flows down their throats.”

;; Kinda hope that we’re not heading towards “everyone is dead(/worse) or nerfed except for avatars and the MCs, and it will be like that until the end”…

(See, the themes of isolation don’t hit me badly with the current events? But the idea that Everyone Can Suffer And (Not!)Die Except A Selected Few, Mainly These Able-Bodied Male Main Characters Who Have The Tools To Suffer Less is a bit heavier for me.)

- … This bit:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Something moves outside, struggling to crawl upon a hundred reaching grasping hands. It shudders, and grips the earth, pulling itself along as nails rip free and skin scrapes loose. It is afraid of what it has become, and where it might be going.”

Reminded me of Daisy? It might have been an evil cow, but “it is afraid of what is had become” really reminds me of Daisy…

- Sound-setting wise, I wondered at some point if we weren’t precisely witnessing a reverse-engineering of the apocalypse, since… Jon was “saying” a statement talking to himself in second person (like Jonah’s in MAG160), and we began to hear the thunder in the background (just like in MAG160). Very eerie, very “oh no, something big is happening” moment.

I… am not sure re:what happened with Jon and the “statement”, but it reminded me of the Coffin and his understanding of The Lonely:

(MAG132) ARCHIVIST: Come on… Come on, where I… DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: … Come on… [STATIC] [SHAKY BREATHING] DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: I know… DAISY: Th–the way out? ARCHIVIST: No… I know where we are! There isn’t no out, not here. This is… this is forever deep below creation. Where the weight of existence bears down… This is The Buried, and we are alive… There isn’t even an up. … Oh god… What have I done! What have I done…

(MAG159) PETER: [DISTORTED] Just go. ARCHIVIST: Make me. … Unless you can’t. The Lonely and The Eye aren’t too far apart, are they? Not really. What good’s being alone if you don’t know how alone you truly are. Which means… well, I think you’re worried. You know I’ll find him eventually, and you know I can find you. […] [STATIC] … Or perhaps you could answer some questions. PETER: [DISTORTED] … What? ARCHIVIST: [STATIC INCREASES] I wouldn’t try to leave if I were you. I can See you now. I can find you wherever you go. PETER: Fine! It was just a thought. [STATIC DECREASES] So leave.

Being overwhelmed by a power, until his Beholding-alignment shines through and leads to an understanding of what is happening, how the Fear is operating. So I would assume that the same happened: Jon was subjected to the cabin’s influence, and finally understood what it was doing, which allowed him to gain the upper hand against it, like it had with Peter.

Interesting that the tape recorder which invited itself… chose that moment to record him, although we had mentions that Jon had listened to the tapes we hear many times before. As if the tape recorder knew that Something More would happen this time – or it caused it? (Jon had been able to feel his anchor in the Coffin once Martin had left the tape recorders around, as if they were amplifying his powers…)

- … I’m mostly concerned about why The Eye wanted Jon to come out of it because uh, Jon transforming is… not a good sign, and The Eye seems plenty satisfied with the new world… but also, has been characterised by a constant craving for more:

(MAG120) ELIAS: The Ceaseless Watcher of all that is, and all that was; the voracious, infinite hunger that tears at his soul, invoking him to discover, to observe, to experience all and everything and forever. It stares into him, and it stares out of him, and he is falling into the devouring eternity of its pupil. He wants to cry out in horror, but he cannot. He. is. whole.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Outside, it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. […] This place wishes to be our tomb. But The Eye does not wish that. No. [STATIC RISES] The Eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It is time that I emerge…” [STATIC REACHING A PEAK]

So. What just happened / what is meant to happen to Jon? Is there a distinction between the “you”, “us”, “I”, is this Jon “becoming” in the same vein that Elias was pushing for back in the days:

(MAG116) ELIAS: I have been doing my best to prepare you, Jon, to See. You should hopefully have it a bit easier than the others. ARCHIVIST: Another of my… powers? ELIAS: More… an aspect of your becoming. DAISY: You don’t say. ARCHIVIST: Er… right.

(Lucky that “chrysalis” means “butterfly”, because, hum, if it had been about a moth… We already had Jack Barnabas’s “I just couldn’t avoid being drawn in, like a moth to the flame.” in MAG067…)

- Also surprised by Jon’s sudden burst of “hatred” because? It would be absolutely understandable given what he did to them (+ Elias was the last human to see Sasha, in MAG039…), but it still sounded a bit uncharacteristic from Jon, and very sudden:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…!

And I’m reminded of The Web pulling someone in a direction, and letting them rationalise why they would want to do this?

(Also, sob about Jon going back to instinctive “Elias” here. His complains about Martin using “Elias” really was the outlier in MAG161, because he was being overall insufferable, uh.)

- BIG new thing is what Jon described with the tape recorder:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: This cabin. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It’s not right. And, when I thought that, I–I felt… It, it all poured out of me down… into the tape. MARTIN: [SIGH] ARCHIVIST: A–a–an–and it… felt good. It–it felt… right. MARTIN: Okay. [BREATHES IN] So you’re recording again? ARCHIVIST: I might need to. If we’re going to make it…! […] MARTIN: You’re… taking the recorder? ARCHIVIST: Uh, just in case I need to… vent. Again, it… [INHALE] it helps. MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH]

… So it feels like Jon just fed the recorder with an excess. What are they and what is Jon feeding, exactly…? (Interesting that unlike Beholding, who used to suck out energy from him in season 3 when he was reading or taking too many statements… “pouring” himself to the tape recorder made him active and functioning.)

(Also, “to vent”: Jon, you’ve been using the tape recorders as your personal therapists for three full seasons, by now.)

- Martin…

(MAG162) MARTIN: What happened? The tapes, were you– [STATIC DECREASES] ARCHIVIST: I–I was listening, and it… it was the one with… Tim an–and Sasha, uh, where they… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. … Yeah.

… has listened to these tapes too, uh ;_;

- This was the “Characters Don’t Have Any Respect For Posh!Jon” episode, while! Technically, Tim&Martin had each already done impressions before:

(MAG162) TIM: Well! “Given the incoherence of this statement, I find it hard to believe it ever occurred!” SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: “In fact, based on the evidence, I find it highly unlikely this Sasha ever even existed at all.”

(MAG039) TIM: … still working? Ah, okay. Test, test. What are you doing on the floor? Huh. [IMITATES ARCHIVIST VOICE] “Statement of Joe Spooky, regarding sinister happenings in the downtown old–”

(MAG117) MARTIN: I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but… it felt good, weaving my own little web. OH, oh Christ, I hope Jon doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, Jon, it’s an expression, chill out.

(MAG162) MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah…

Gods, I love these idiots.

- Surprised that “tea” is making its comeback! Is it linked to Jon’s state of mind or Martin’s? Is there a trick or… is it plain, mundane tea, which will remain actual tea because Martin isn’t clinging to it as comfort but just as a nice thing that he is allowed to enjoy – and Jon doing the same by extension?

(MAG162) TIM: Swap in a poisoned teabag, pin it on Martin – the perfect crime. SASHA: [CHUCKLES] And how do you know that you won’t be the one that gets it? That boy makes a lot of tea.

(MAG045) MARTIN: Hey, I-just-wanted-to-check-if-you-wanted-a-cup-of-tea? ARCHIVIST: Aaah… […] MARTIN: Right, right… D– did you want that tea? ARCHIVIST: Nnno. Thank you, Martin.

(MAG065) TIM: And the worst thing? The actual worst thing is that no one here has my back. With any of it! Elias doesn’t care; Martin just wants a tea party; and Sasha… god, and you!

(MAG069) MARTIN: … Look. Jon… when was the last time we all just… talked? Just talked, without all of this– ARCHIVIST: Thank you for the tea, Martin. MARTIN: … Oookay. Fine. [DOOR OPENS] He’s not wrong, you know. [DOOR CLOSES] ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] [WEAKLY] I know. Statement of… Darren Harlow… [SIGH] [FIRMER] Statement of Darren Harlow regarding a failed psychology experiment at the University of Surrey.

(MAG110) BASIRA: Look, Martin. I know you care. I know you do. But caring isn’t enough. You can’t just stand next to someone with a cup of tea and hope everything’s gonna be alright. MARTIN: That's. not. fair. You don’t even know me. BASIRA: Prove it. We need to do something. Because if we just let him– MARTIN: Oh, h–hi, hey, hey Melanie! I, I, c–can I get you – a – cup – of – tea?

(MAG116) MARTIN: What, I’ll sit around drinking tea until the world ends?! Or– you, you know, it doesn’t. BASIRA: We hope.

(MAG117) MARTIN: Anyway. I guess I’m just… sick of sitting on my hands, drinking tea and hoping everyone’s okay. This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that cool!

(MAG118) MARTIN: So what? I don’t get to be angry? I don’t get to burn things? Just, just run around, making tea, when everyone else gets to actually– have– feelings? ELIAS: Please get to the point, Martin.

(MAG122) BASIRA: Anything else? ARCHIVIST: … Water, please. BASIRA: Sure thing. [DOOR OPENS] ARCHIVIST: … Oh, or a–a cup of t– [CLOSES DOOR] ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] [VERY QUIETLY] Okay…

(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: Everyone else is… running towards something, or running away, and I… [SIGH] I don’t know what I’m doing. [PAUSE] [SIGH] I’m just tired. Think I might go lie down for a while. Get a cup of tea [HUFF]

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: I brought you some tea…! ARCHIVIST: No you didn’t. MARTIN: Uh… What? Uh, y–yes I did! [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] ARCHIVIST: We ran out of tea the day before the Change, you… said the little shop in the village didn’t have any more. Ergo… that isn’t tea. MARTIN: What? No, of course it’s tea, I– [SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TEA SCUTTLES AWAY] AH, AH! AH! [THE MUG SHATTERS OF THE FLOOR] MARTIN: OH! Woah…! Oh… Wha… [HIGH-PITCHED] What, but I–, I–I made that, if– I… Wh… I thought it was– ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, Martin. MARTIN: [PANTS] ARCHIVIST: [WITH AN EDGE] Things don’t work like that anymore…! MARTIN: Like what?! ARCHIVIST: Like normal. This is no longer a world where you can trust…! MARTIN: What, t–tea?! ARCHIVIST: … Comfort.

(MAG162) MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright.

(Because if the idea is that, okay yeah, things are terrible, and drinking tea won’t help but EH, they can still have nice things if they decide to, yesss.) (If it’s not: serve it to Elias.)

- I still can’t believe how IN LOVE Jon and Martin sounded in their complicity/marvel of each other:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…! MARTIN: W–wow, okay… […] ARCHIVIST: Martin… It’s going to be a hard journey. MARTIN: [RELIEVED EXHALE] ARCHIVIST: One– MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah– ARCHIVIST: –in which we… MARTIN: –so, I’ve actually had a couple of bags packed for a while, now! [HEAVY ITEM DROPPED] ARCHIVIST: Oh! MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLING] Uh, Martin, I… MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah… ARCHIVIST: W– Uh, yes– MARTIN: But I’ve, I’ve packed them anyway because you never know. ARCHIVIST: Martin, I… MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright. [MOVEMENT] MARTIN: … We’ve got this. [SOUNDS OF PACKING UP AND RUMMAGING] ARCHIVIST: [FOND] Apparently so…! […] We can’t fight the world, Martin. MARTIN: [AMUSED DEFIANT HUFF] Says you. ARCHIVIST: [WITH A SMILE] Let’s go.

Jon wants to murder Elias, and Martin finds it HOT. Martin is competent, was only waiting for Jon as he said, and ready to fight the world, and Jon finds it HOT.

Bonus for arsonist!Martin on the loose:

(MAG162) MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH] You said this place, the–the cabin was… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It, it’s feeding on us, right? ARCHIVIST: Yes… MARTIN: … So should we… destroy it, before we go? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND, BUT LOUDER AND CONFRONTATIONAL] [DISTANT RUMBLE OF THUNDER] ARCHIVIST: I honestly don’t know if we can. MARTIN: Hm. ARCHIVIST: Besides, there’s… far worse out there. Better to try and avoid it, I think. MARTIN: We’re not even gonna try? We, we’ve got your lighter, maybe we could just–

Martin was quick to understand that the cabin was “feeding” on them, although Jon hadn’t mentioned it (just that it wasn’t right and didn’t want them to leave). So… some of Martin’s studies from season 4 showing off, uh? He’s grown to understand the Fears a bit, I’m really curious about how it will help him/them this season.

  MAG163’s title makes me think of Buried, naturally, but mmMMm. Got also reminded of MAG007, which reminded me of “Joseph Rayner” and the fact that Jon mentioned that he wasn’t sure that it had been the Usual Dark!Rayner, in MAG140? Anyway, still expecting to follow Jon&Martin but the title could also work really well if we were to get a peek of how Basira and/or Georgie&Melanie are faring…

[sinsofafangirl]

Chapter Three.

"You're just a stupid little girl who has done nothing but ruin everything I've ever worked for - your father would be ashamed"

"I'm glad your father's dead, he doesn't have to see what a wretch and a cancer you've become"

"Police Academy?! Ha! Maybe I'll get lucky and someone sensible with half a brain will shoot you like your failure of a father"

Ava woke with a start, her body jolting upright, her eyes still heavy with sleep unable to focus on her unfamiliar surroundings as her heart pounded erratically and her chest heaved as she struggled to shake off the remnants of the all too familiar dream. Too caught up in regaining her composure she never noticed the bucket of water or the person throwing it until she was drenched and spluttering. Her hands came up to rub her eyes in an attempt to once again clear her vision before throwing a glare at the offending person "'bout time you woke up, almost thought you'd died and saved me a whole lotta trouble" a roll of her eyes indicated she'd heard him, she just refused to give him a reaction. Of fucking course it'd be Jacob Seed to get her wet in the frosty early morning air and not in the good way. "Fuck off, Seed" came her irked reply mentally slapping herself for actually responding to him "someone wake up on the wrong side of the cage this morning?" a question asked without an ounce of genuine care and a smirk so fraudulent it made her old Barbie dolls seem a hundred per cent real in comparison. Ava didn't reply and instead huffed in annoyance; she was exhausted and her entire body ached from having to sleep on the dirty floor all night so she was in no mood for being patronised by an asshole choosing to focus on trying to untangle the mess of brunette hair with nothing but her fingers - unsuccessfully I might add which only worsened her already sour mood. Refusing to give up her hands continued as best they could to untangle some of the easier knots and avoiding the still tender area of where she'd been struck a few hours earlier.

Cerulean blue eyes watched as she stubbornly refused to give up enjoying the small huffs of frustration he'd hear occasionally. If he was any sort of gentleman he'd offer her an extra set of hands but he found watching her struggle much more entertaining. Instead the former army marksman took the opportunity to study the young woman sitting awkwardly in his cage; always know your enemy he thought as his gaze wandered over her. Now that it was daytime he could get a good look at her; hair a chocolaty brown and even though it was currently a mess you could see she took care of it, she must have been about 5"2 and a hundred and five pounds if that which surprised him considering she put quite a bit of force into the kick to his face last night - not enough to hurt him too much but she still managed to draw blood. That didn't mean anything to him though, she was still weak and he looked forward to putting her through her paces and beyond but for now his studying continued now noting her eyes that were a sea green "you getting off on this, Seed?" then there was that mouth of hers always too quick with a smart remark and a sarcastic comment - that would soon change, he'd break that bad habit first. "You could have avoided all of this if you and your friends had just walked away" which was true but Ava wasn't about to admit that especially not to Jacob who currently sat upon a metal chair, his large arms folded across his chest whilst his legs stretched out before him crossing at his feet; dickhead came to mind as she finally gave up on trying to tame her unruly hair and turned her attention to the eldest of the three siblings. Easier to see him properly within the early morning rays of sunshine peeking through. The photos provided within the manila folder didn't give much detail; too grainy to actually make anything out but now in the morning light she noticed just how beautiful his eyes were and yes, she hated herself for admitting it and yes, she almost threw up in her mouth but she couldn't deny that they were strikingly beautiful and one of the first things she'd noticed. His scars and his burns weren't even on her radar as she casually studied him whilst his attention was momentarily elsewhere, of course they were noticeable and of course she was curious about them; how had he gotten such severe scarring? Did they bother him? Then she snorted realising what a stupid thought that was - it was Jacob Seed as if anything bothered him.

Her snort caught his attention and his eyes snapped back to her making her look away "somethin' funny?" completely ignoring his question Ava rose to her knees and shuffled until she was at the front of the cage "to answer your previous statement. If you and your freakshow of a family acted like decent human beings none of this would have happened" she spat venomously, her facial expression twisting into something that conveyed hatred. Within an instant Jacob's demeanor changed from one of mild amusement and boredom to that of white hot rage, his hands came up to slam on the bars of the cage as he shot forward making the young woman fall back in fear and shuffle as far back as possible - everyone knew not to slander his family in anyway but apparently Ava didn't get that memo and instantly regretted running her mouth as she saw the sheer anger in his glare and the way his hands gripped the bars hard enough to turn his knuckles white. She wasn't afraid to admit that she was terrified right now but her wide green eyes couldn't look away "don't ever talk ill of my family" his voice despite being low was filled with rage and a fierce protectiveness that almost sounded like a growl, it made a chill run down her spine. If making situations worse by running your mouth was an Olympic event Ava would get gold everytime, it was a talent and right now it was one she wished she never had.

His gaze lingered on her for a few more moments as if contemplating his next move and Ava just prayed to whatever higher power that existed that it didn't involve him opening the cage. Instead Jacob released his grip, stood swiftly from the chair and moved towards two of his Chosen; unable to hear what he was saying Ava closed her eyes and made a mental note not to mention his family again. When she reopened them she noticed Jacob had headed inside the Veterans Centre and the men he'd been talking to heading her way "time to get cleaned up little lady, brother Jacob's orders" cleaned up? Wonderful she thought knowing it wasn't about to be a warm bubble bath waiting for her. When she hadn't moved quickly enough the cage door was wrenched open and a dirty hand grasped her hair making Ava his in pain as he dragged her kicking and screaming across the compound "quite ya flappin' girly, it ain't doin' ya no good" she didn't listen and despite her ankle throbbing she managed to get a lucky hit on the shin of the second man who cursed loudly before regaining his composure and back handing her for the trouble making her head swing back, almost seeing stars from the impact.

Ava was thrown unceremoniously onto the hard floor of a dimly lit concrete room, her hands and knees stinging from taking the brunt of the impact, this made her glance over her shoulder and glare at her two 'knights in shining armour' but they'd already left leaving her to her own devices for the time being. Her mind wondered what their version of 'getting cleaned up' was because judging from the state of them and the smell she had to endure on the way over they hadn't bathed in quite some time; hypocrites.

Ava noticed the medium sized drainage hole in the middle of the room and the large hose pipe hanging neatly on the wall near the door but her muddled mind didn't put two and two together and paid no attention to it, instead she focused on the door and wondered if they'd been stupid enough to leave it unlocked. It couldn't possibly be that easy to get off here, right? As if she'd be able to just open the door and go? Seeing as she was cold, exhausted and hungry Ava didn't think she had much of a choice and even with a bad ankle she could suffer through the pain long enough to get away from this place.

Without hesitation she slowly pushed herself up off the unforgiving floor and hobbled towards the door; her ankle protesting every step she made but she wasn't about to let that stop her when her freedom was so close that she could almost taste it.

A shaky hand reached out towards the handle, her fingers brushing it gently but to her horror it moved and the door began to open making her recoil from the fiery haired brute who had just stepped inside "goin' somewhere, pup?" he asked, his face showed no emotion and neither did his voice which didn't bode well for the brunette now sat on the floor - the momentum of trying to move away quick enough meant she fell ass backwards and her ass had no padding so no doubt that would be yet another bruise for her.

"Strip" came his clipped demand, his gaze fixed and hard on the woman in front of him. His arms were folded across his chest again and Ava wondered if that was a natural stance for him or if it was to stop him from possibly murdering her. Her brows furrowed in confusion at his demand "what?" "you heard me, I said strip" again, his tone was short and clipped but that didn't stop Ava who scoffed and point blank refused. There was no way she was going to strip for him "and if I don't?" she asked raising an eyebrow as if to challenge him which with all things considered was probably pretty stupid on her part but up until this point her life had been a series of stupid events so why not continue?

It was then she realised her mistake and her eyes widened in absolute fear as Jacob stormed across the room and it was in that moment she saw that rage within his eyes from earlier and prayed that whatever death was coming it'd be quick. All of a sudden she found herself pinned to the cold, harsh floor with one of his hands around her throat, his grip hard enough to leave bruises whilst his other hand pinned both her wrist above her - she had nowhere to go because her legs were useless at this point and even they weren't she doubted she'd have enough strength to fend him off long enough to reach the door. His face was now right above hers, his breath hot on her face as she struggled to for air "you'll learn why I'm the best at what I do and you'll either play nice and fall in line remembering that you're nothin' more than meat that's expendable" as if to emphasize his point his grip around her throat became that much tighter that she'd started to squirm beneath him, panic mode had kicked in as her vision became cloudy. She truly thought she was about to die and in the back of her mind she found she was okay with that because that would mean she would finally meet her father. In her current situation she was completely powerless to stop him from choking the life out of her and snapping her neck like a twig but apparently he wasn't feeling that murderous today and released his grip just enough for her to gasp for air " - or you'll be culled, tied up and used as live target practice for my Chosen, so what will it be, princess?"

Ava gasped and spluttered again fighting for air unable to give him a physical answer Ava weakly nodded as much as his grip allowed making a cruel smirk replace the scowl he'd been wearing previously" good girl, you know what to do" within an instant he'd relinquished his grip on both her wrists and her throat and had returned to his previous position. His gaze hardened and cold as watched her pathetically regain her composure.

With no other option but to do as she was told the young brunette cautiously and fearfully began to slip out of her deputy uniform as shaking hands fumbled with zips, buckles and buttons. His never wavering gaze didn't help her much either and not knowing if he would strangle her again also didn't help but soon enough she'd managed to discard her uniform leaving her in nothing but her bra and underwear; surely I can keep these on, right? This made Ava look over towards him and in return he merely nodded making tears spring to her eyes as she tentatively reached for the clasp of her bra at the back to unhook it before letting it drop to the floor. Ava gulped down the feeling of nausea before scrunching her face in pain as she winced - her throat would be sore for a good while and no doubt the bruises he left will last weeks before they fade.

Refusing to let him have the satisfaction of seeing her cry, Ava thumbed the elastic of her underwear before tugging them down over her hips, thighs and legs before discarding them with the rest of her clothes. Every part of her was open to him, she felt extremely vulnerable wished she was anywhere but here. Her earlier bravado had been stripped from her and now she naked and exposed in front of him. A face full of cold, harsh water soon broke her train of thought as the force of the pressure slammed her against the nearest wall making her cry out but this only resulted in more coughing and spluttering from the woman. Not that she could see but she could already tell that her skin had probably turned a nice shade of red if pain was anything to go by.

No matter how hard she tried to cover herself from the onslaught of water it just never made a difference, instead she gave up and pressed herself against the cold wall waiting for it to be over.

After what felt like an eternity the water stopped and she was left sore, drenched and very, very cold if her shivering was anything to go by. It's the type of cold that works its way into your bones and then it's icy tendrils wrap itself around your core and you genuinely wonder if you'll ever feel warmth again. "Get dressed" a flurry of definitely used clothes that consisted of ratty dark jeans and a fade flannel shirt hit her but Ava was that cold she would have worn a garbage bag to get warm at this point so she hurriedly threw them on making a note of just how big they were on her, not that she was about to complain especially if it meant being stripped again.

By now Jacob stood in front of what he could only assume was a drowned rat, her hair now forcefully untangled hung dripping onto the flannel she wore as he grasped her jaw he noticed how she flinched but said nothing, his grip just hard enough to have her attention and possibly leave bruises "when you behave yourself you get privileges like clothes but if you keep running that mouth of yours and misbehaving those privileges get taken away and you'll get punished. I'm sure my men out there would love to see the sight that I just saw and I mean, who knows what would happen if I'm not around" his not so subtle threat was quickly understood; the possibility of getting raped wasn't something she wanted "have I made myself clear?" "y - yes" Jacob quirked an eyebrow and gripped her jaw that little bit harder; more bruises to add to the collection she thought as she painfully cleared her throat "y - yes, sir" her voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk but her answer seemed to satisfy him because relinquished his grip and strode to the door, an arm keeping it open as he glanced at the sorry state of a deputy.

"Time for your trainin', let's go, pup" Ava meekly nodded; too tired and too fearful at this point to put up a fight. Her stomach filled with dread as she made her way towards the door.

It couldn't get any worse, right?

[dragonologist-phd]

That’s The Spirit!

Wrote a fun modern AU for my Watchers Desta and Rudi in honor of the upcoming holiday and the @pillarspromptsweekly prompt: Spooky. It’s not actually spooky at all, but since one of my favorite Halloween activities is binge-watching Buzzfeed Unsolved, I thought I’d give my Watchers their own kind-of-a-crossover ghost-hunting fun. (Also here on AO3)

“This has got to be the stupidest thing we have ever done.”

“This is far from the stupidest thing we’ve ever done.”

Rudi turned and raised an eyebrow at Desta. “What I mean,” Desta clarified, “is that this is not stupid. Kana knows what he’s talking about.”

“I’m not worried about whether Kana got the history right, I’m worried about the police showing up and arresting us. Especially since we’re about to take video of us breaking in and then post it on the internet. I define that as pretty stupid.”

“It’s not breaking in if nobody lives here!” Desta dropped her voice an octave and said in a low, spooky tone, “But just because nobody lives here doesn’t mean it’s empty.”

Rudi looked like she wanted to argue but wasn’t sure which point to start with. Desta took advantage of her hesitation and turned to face the camera. “Ready?”

“One moment,” Aloth said, fiddling with the controls. Rudi shook her head in resignation and positioned herself next to Desta. Desta wasn’t fooled; for all of Rudi’s griping and eye-rolling, she wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to be. Desta doubted there was anyone, alive or dead, that could make Rudi do something she didn’t want to do.

Case in point- even though she was tapping her foot impatiently, Rudi couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she surveyed the insides of the old mansion. The building was old, one of the oldest in town, and poorly cared for. Old, mismatched furniture littered the rooms and hallways, creating a cluttered maze-like environment caked in at least an inch of dust. Every now and then, a gust of wind would sneak through the holes in the roof or the cracked windows, sending a chill down Desta’s spine.

She wondered if Rudi felt the same strange chill. She must, because she kept pulling her thick red flannel tighter around herself, although she would probably say that was just the weather. But Aloth didn’t seem bothered; he wasn’t even wearing a jacket. Desta found it a little distracting, to be honest, but she also took it as a sign that perhaps the spirits were more focused on the two ghost-hunters. Perhaps tonight the they would finally reveal themselves. It was Halloween, after all- what better timing could there be?

“You know, if we wanted to,” Rudi said as her dark eyes swept over their surroundings, “we could set up a pretty sweet haunted house in here. We could actually make money and scare people, for a change.”

Desta threw her arms out, exasperated. “We’re in a literal haunted mansion. There are real ghosts here. How is this not better than bad acting and fake blood?”

“Bad acting and fake blood is entertaining. The ‘real ghosts’ you think are there when you’re yelling at nothing…” Rudi considered her own words for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, I guess it’s still entertaining. But in a different way.”

“Save the banter for the show,” Aloth called. Rudi scowled at him, but Desta shot her the best be nice look she could muster. They couldn’t afford to scare off the only person willing to act as cameraman for free.

To be honest, Desta was still a bit mystified by Aloth’s continued presence at their investigations. He claimed he was there to be a neutral presence, and yes, Desta and Rudi did have a tendency to go on rambling, argumentative tangents when left to their own devices. But it was still strange that he volunteered his free nights to follow them around with a camera and listen to them bicker about ghosts.

Whatever the reason, Desta was glad. Their first few videos had been taken on cellphones and were next to useless. She was still livid about the time that her phone had run out of memory right before a ghostly voice whispered in her ear. According to Rudi, Desta’s own account of the incident didn’t count as ‘proof’.

And it was just nice to have Aloth around. He at least listened to Desta’s theories without laughing. And despite the occasional nervous comment or look of trepidation, he hadn’t yet been scared off by the strange things they investigated.

At last, he lifted the camera and gave Desta a nod. “We’re ready.”

 “Tonight, we’re investigating the infamous Maerwald Mansion, an abandoned home that’s seen more than its share of history- and if the rumors are true, some of that history is still around.”

Rudi watched quietly as Desta relayed the story to the camera. She’d the heard the urban legend too many times by now for it to truly hold her interest, but Desta had a certain theatrical approach that was enjoyable to watch. Not as good as Kana’s original telling, of course, but they had to make do while he was away at grad school. And Desta had his same enthusiasm, especially tonight. She had even dyed her hair a striking green for the occasion. She thought it made her look ‘spooky’. But between the bright sunflower patches she’d sewn onto her denim jacket and the bright smile on her face as she told the story, even a set of devil horns wouldn’t make her scary in the slightest.

“Maerwald was once a respected man in the city- heir to a great fortune, diplomat to visitors, advisor to just about every political figure on the scene. Until the day he mysteriously disappeared from society. According to accounts from the time, he stopped leaving the house completely. Rumors circulated that he had descended into madness, although no doctor was ever allowed inside the home. Food was brought in to him by the only servant he had not fired, and despite attempts to draw him out, this arrangement remained in place for months.”

“And then it gets weirder. The servant was seen entering the mansion one night- and was never seen again. People began reported hearing strange, unnatural noises coming from the mansion at night. At last the police entered by force. But when they were finally entered the house…” Desta dropped her voice and spread her hands wide. “He had completely vanished. No trace of him was ever found. Since then, the house has passed through multiple hands, but every owner has encountered only misfortune and tragedy. Now it sits unused and empty- or so it would seem.”

Rudi fought not to roll her eyes at the last statement. This was why she didn’t do introductions- apparently, she always sounded ‘too sarcastic’. Desta, however, continued with a conviction that could only be genuine.

“Angry spirits have been reported to inhabit this house for decades. Countless incidents have been reported since Maerwald’s disappearance. We’re here to see if we can get one of those incidents on tape.”

“Look, there’s no big mystery here,” Rudi cut in. “This Maerwald dude was just a weird old guy who became a hermit and probably killed his servant.”

“And no bodies were ever found? How does a ‘weird old guy’ pull that off?”

“Maybe the police were lazy!” Desta scoffed, and Rudi held up her hands defensively. “It’s more believable than ‘ghosts got him’!”

“We’ll see if you’re still saying that by the end of the night,” Desta said, giving the camera a knowing smile. Rudi glanced toward the camera herself and shook her head. She knew how the night would end- they would see nothing, and Desta would still insist the place was full of spirits. At least the internet would get a laugh.

 “Now, remember,” Desta said as the group entered the master bedroom. “The spirits in this house are supposed to particularly angry, especially in this room. We should still try a peaceful approach, of course, but we need to prepared to defend ourselves if need be.”

“Sorry, I used my salt packet on the fries I had for lunch.”

Desta crossed her arms. “One day you’re going to get possessed, and you’ll think oh, if only I had listened to Desta and made a salt circle before summoning that spirit!” She heard Rudi unsuccessfully try to stifle a laugh, and chose to ignore it. “Anyway, that’s not what I meant. Considering the strength of the spirits at play here, I took the liberty of bringing this.”

Desta reached into her duffle bag and with a flourish produced a metal baseball bat. Aloth raised a concerned eyebrow. Rudi burst into laughter.

“Are you planning to beat the shit out of a ghost with a baseball bat? How does that even work?”

Desta bristled defensively. “It’s iron! Iron repels ghosts, that’s common knowledge.”

“I think that’s fairies,” Aloth stage whispered. Rudi dissolved into another fit of laughter.

“What? It’s ghosts, too, isn’t it?” Desta frowned and made mental note to ask Kana next time she saw him. “I swear, it works on ghosts, too. Ugh, this was so much cooler in my head. Maybe I should have just brought holy water…”

“No! This is great!” Rudi was beaming, her hands clasped together in delight. “Can I go get the brass knuckles from my car?”

“Iron! Brass knuckles wouldn’t work, and why the hell do you have them?!”

“Anniversary gift from Maia. And if you get a bat, I should get my knuckles. The only thing that might be enjoyable about meeting a ghost would be getting to fight it.”

“That’s not the point!” Desta protested. This was getting off track quickly- the whole point of this was to try and communicate with the spirits. “I have the bat because you clearly want to start I fight. I want to try diplomacy first. This is just… backup.”

Desta knew she was in trouble from the way Rudi smirked. “No, no, you came prepared with a weapon. I think you want to fight the ghosts as much as I do.” She tilted her head back and cupped her hands around her mouth. “Hear, that ghouls? Desta’s ready to fuck you up!”

“No! You put that aggressive energy right back where it came from-”

“Too late! It’s out there, and you’re going to have to fend off Maerwald’s ghost with a baseball bat.” Rudi snorted and began to poke around the room, stopping occasionally to call out more insults into the air. A futile feeling began to creep over Desta as she watched her. Eventually, she turned and shook her head at Aloth.

“She’s going to get us killed.”

 Nothing had jumped from the shadows to try and eat their souls yet, but Desta was still looking nervous and clutching her bat as they inspected the room. Rudi couldn’t suppress the occasional sarcastic remark that escaped when she glanced behind her and saw the other girl peering into the darkness with suspicion.

Desta could say whatever she wanted; Rudi knew the worst thing they’d find would by ugly furniture and splinters. Her flashlight swept over rotting floorboards, dusty shelves full of knick-knacks, and a large, rather imposing chair. The chair was admittedly kind of cool, and even a little creepy- it had throne-like feel that wouldn’t be out of place in an old-fashioned vampire movie.

“Look at this,” Rudi said, motioning Aloth over. “You think Maerwald’s ghost would be mad if I sat in his chair?” She walked over, making to sit as Desta began to protest.

“Don’t touch the- ah!”

The high-pitched yelp rang out just as Rudi touched the chair, and she immediately leapt back up in alarm. Desta was, who had been moving forward to grab her, had stopped in her tracks. She had a flashlight in one hand and her bat in the other, and was pointing them both at a dusty marble bust. She brandished the bat as if it were a sword, readying herself against whatever spirits she thought were in the air. “It moved!”

“…What now?” Rudi asked.

Desta’s eyes didn’t leave the statue. “I saw it. I swear to you, that head moved when I walked by.”

Now that was a bold claim. Rudi approached the statue, swatting Desta’s bat out of the way. She peered closely at it, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Just a marble bust- a woman, Rudi thought, although it was hard to be certain through the wear and tear. The inscription was chipped and caked in dust, and Rudi could only make a few letters.

All in all, a totally normal thing to find in a decrepit mansion. “I think your imagination ran away with you on this one.”

“No! No it did not! We can review the footage later, that head is in a different position- don’t touch it!”

Rudi tapped the side of the statue’s head. It was cold and solid and certainly not capable of movement. “Seriously, Desta, you’re losing it.”

But Desta remained insistent, hovering near the statue and asking it a few questions about the house. No answers came, of course, but she was still didn’t take her eyes off of it until they moved on and left the room.

 Desta had her proof that the spirits in this house were active, and Rudi not believing her didn’t change that. But after her encounter with the statue, they seemed subdued. The only other startling thing that happened that night was when Rudi opened an old cabinet and inadvertently disturbed a nest that was housing approximately a million spiders. Not supernatural, but it was a bit gratifying to hear Rudi’s scream.

Still, the lost potential of the statue stung. What they needed were those fancy helmet-cams, so she wouldn’t keep having these misses. But those were expensive, and besides, she liked having Aloth around as their cameraman.

“You believe me about the statue, right?” she asked him later that night as they packed up the camera equipment together.

His looked reluctant as he considered his answer. “I believe you thought you saw something,” he said finally, as diplomatically as possible.

“Aw, come on!”

He shrugged apologetically. “It’s difficult to believe that the laws of physics were unexplainably broken without some sort of evidence towards it. Maybe you saw something, but it’s not necessarily a supernatural sighting.”

“So you’re on Rudi’s side, then.”

“Well, no.” He paused, as if ruminating on his next words. “I’ve experienced… strange things, myself. I’m sure there are things in the world that we can’t understand or explain. But I would like better support for it than possible glimpses of moving statues.”

Desta mused over that thought. “Okay, fine. We didn’t get it on tape, so there’s plausible deniability as far as proof goes. Maybe we should go the more ‘scientific’ route. EMF’s, temperature measurements, that sort of thing. How much would it cost to get our hands on those?”

“Perhaps we can borrow some. I’m sure Ydwin has equipment like that.”

“Really?”

“Well, you’ve met her. Do you think that she doesn’t?”

“Fair enough. Although you should let me ask her- I’m pretty sure she’s still holding a grudge for that weird thesis dispute you two had.”

“…Fair enough.”

Desta grinned and playfully bumped her shoulder against Aloth’s. “Look at us! Our little show is getting professional! You and I should partner up against Rudi- you attack on the science side, I attack on the spirit side. We’d be unstoppable!”

A blush colored Aloths cheeks, and Desta remembered that he could be a bit camera-shy. She quickly added, “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to! A behind-the-scenes science expert is just as good!”

Aloth’s ears were still red, but he shrugged and said, “Perhaps I could make a guest appearance.”

 Rudi watched Desta and Aloth from across the room, trying not to make retching noises at the cheesy scene the two were putting on. Desta was very good at seeing ghosts and ghouls that weren’t there, but was apparently blind to the obvious signs right in front of her. There was a reason Aloth kept volunteering for these investigations, and it was the same reason he wasn’t wearing a jacket tonight, despite the chill in the air. Wouldn’t want to hide those arms from Desta, would he? From the not-so-subtle looks Desta kept shooting his way, the desired effect had been achieved.

If only one of them would actually do something about it.

A buzzing in Rudi’s pocket alerted her to a new text. She fished her phone out and grinned when she saw the new message from Maia.

Movies and popcorn are ready and waiting. Bust any ghosts yet?

Rudi typed out a quick reply. No ghosts, but I did meet a lovely demonic spirit that wants to possess my mortal body for nefarious purposes.

A momentary pause, as three dots popped onto the screen. That’s kinda hot.

Rudi laughed out loud to herself, and went to tell the two lovebirds to hurry up. They could continue their oblivious flirting later; Rudi had a night of watching horror movies and spooning with her girlfriend to get to.

As she approached, Desta gave her a scheming look, and Rudi knew immediately that she wouldn’t like what Desta was about to say next.

“Rudi, have you ever heard of this thing called a ‘spirit box’?”

[contextualstudieslorena]

Group presentation on the film Welfare by Frederick Wiseman

Info about the film: Welfare (1975)

by Frederick Wiseman

In his documentary “Welfare”(1975) Frederick Wiseman captures the activity and atmosphere in a Welfare center in 1970’s New york. His point of view is as unbiased as possible, showing on one side the claimers and on the other the social workers and welfare employees. In his own words, “All aspects of documentary filmmaking involve choice and are therefore manipulative. But the ethical ... aspect of it is that you have to ... try to make [a film that] is true to the spirit of your sense of what was going on. ... My view is that these films are biased, prejudiced, condensed, compressed but fair. I think what I do is make movies that are not accurate in any objective sense, but accurate in the sense that I think they're a fair account of the experience I've had in making the movie.” (potnitz, Frank (May 1991). "Dialogue on film". American Film. 16 (5): 16–21.)

Wiseman’s documentary is structured very loosely, he simply set up his camera and films for days on end, focusing on scenes like the plaidants in interviews with the social workers, or the workers discussing amongst themselves, and occasionally shows clips of the people in the waiting room, the janitor. Whether he had done previous research before is unknown, but one of his goals across his different documentaries is documenting the workings of American institutions and the people who are involved in them.

The documentary shows clearly how varied the cases that are brought up to welfare can be, and the different people who enter the center desperately seeking help. Many of the benefit seekers are european immigrants, young single mothers, men and women of colour and marginalised communities.

The documentary also shows the conflict between the simple act of charity, providing a person money for shelter, food and the convoluted bureaucracy they have to navigate, where even the social workers are confused and have to constantly ask each other for advice. The lack of communication between the different departments is also made apparent, several plaidant explain they have been referred back and forth between departments, in a never ending cycle, and that even when they are able to provide the paperwork they are still not guaranteed any help. Even the language barrier can be a big problem sometimes, when immigrants who speak little to no english have to plead their case and deal with the different papers and statements they are asked to bring.

This shows the stark contrast between the human tragedies and the mechanical, unyielding system, the conversations are repetitive and the claimants and workers go over the same points over and over. The whole exchanges are painful to watch, especially when we learn about the dire situation the people find themselves, their pain and frustration at the system failing them (cheques that are never received by the recipient, fair court hearings taking up time that they do not have, the imminent threat of being evicted and the basics of human rights not being met).

But Wiseman, does not only focus on the claimants but also the workers, and shows that they are just as human as the people on the other side of the desk.

He shows that many workers try their best to help but are tied by the system, or the tense exchanges between desperate, angry plaidants and the overworked social workers.

The documentary also shows the blatant racism people of colour face in 1970’s, through a scene in the wellfare where an elderly white man start insulting a black man sitting beside him, and the situation escalates until police officers have to remove him from the building.

Different important scenes:

A native american man talks about rejected by every organization he has gone too, he talk about the concentration camps his people have been put into and

the fact he has escaped.

“Everywhere i go they say “you’re Indian? Get out of here!’.”

A young man and woman, both married but separated from their spouses. The woman is epileptic and can’t work.

Their smile of relief when they are offered a room is one of the rare moments of happiness in this documentary. (it would have been interesting to see the accommodation the people are given)

A recovered drug addict who got himself work, an apartment and a dog, then lost everything but the dog, is told he can have a room in a hostel. He objects that he can't take his dog there. But the official says: "We're giving assistance to you, not your dog."

German immigrant who says he still believes that America is “a good country” , that wants to help people, but under under the circumstances he is considering suicide."I'd better look for a nice place to hang myself."

A young black woman is driven to tears, her interview lasts for hours with the conversation going back and forth about papers, authorizations and contradicting bureaucracy and rules.

Welfare social workers discussing how they can help the plaidants, and how to sort out the paperwork. It becomes clear that even the workers are confused by the numerous convoluted legislations, and the paperwork the plaidants are supposed to bring.

In the video, it can be seen that the artist wanted to focus on what the minority in the USA goes through every day, the problems that they have to face because of the environment they were raised in or brought to throughout their lives. The film is made in the 70s in New York, a city that is known for being a gigantic melting pot filled with people from different backgrounds.

The United States is a country that revolves around making money off of people instead of actually caring about them and their health and condition. That can obviously be seen in that film, when for example one of the people in it mentions that he hasn't eaten in 3 days because of the small amount of money that he has been given. He also mentions that he obviously can’t go around stealing food because that will lead him to get arrested, which just shows that those people are such in bad situations that they even consider stealing food to feed themselves and their families as they dont have another option, the government isn't providing them what they need and that is a very serious issue.

A problem that a lot of Europeans complain about in America when mentioning it is the lack of health insurance. There are many people who don't get any of their basic health needs because they just can't afford it. It gets to the point where people just deal with broken arms, legs, etc by themselves because paying for a simple appointment would be too expensive. The country has many problems when dealing with minorities and this film shows what those people go through by using a technique of recording them in a position where it seems as if they are trapped/with no way out. This also affects the person who is watching the documentary as it gives them a sensation of anxiety but also bringing a sense of naturality to it, as if the one who watches it is in their position dealing with the problems with them.

Throughout the documentary there appears to be an endless cycle of clients (from all walks of life) seeking financial help, but getting no quick resolve as they are having to explain and give proof on their situations over and over again; and to different departments. This suggests there is a lack of communication and/or understanding of the states rules and laws within the worker’s company. Evidently I am led to believe the blame for this confusion and lack of help for those financially struggling is on the USA government rather than both the parties shown in the documentary because the system is more concerned with making money FROM the people rather than making money FOR the people. Another reason I believe the workers aren’t to blame is because despite the chaos and some prejudice, they do all listen and attempt to help the clients that come to them, even if it was poorly. With more education and organisation within the company I do think many of the issues would have been resolved.

Welfare is a 3 hour long in depth look at the American welfare system. The film was shot in the Waverly Welfare Center in lower Manhattan where Wiseman documented the conversations and interactions that took place between citizens of New York and social workers (supposedly) helping them.

Wiseman’s method of filming in the majority of his films is to simply set up a camera for days on end and try to capture as much information as possible, this helped him somewhat in keeping his films unbiased but in his own words; film making involves choice and is therefore manipulative. As such films cannot be unbiased.

Wiseman’s ability is evident when we consider how he had to slough through days of film in order to make a film about bureaucracy entertaining at all times. Some conversations in this film feel so exaggerated or surreal that you can’t help but wonder if the individuals being filmed even knew there was a camera on them, but it being 1970 there is no way they couldn’t have noticed so they knew they were being filmed but either just did not care or thought they were totally justified.

At many times the social workers were portrayed as patient and helpful though we find ourselves sometimes rooting for the client even at times where they aren’t necessarily in the right out if sheer empathy for their situation in being bounced back and forth places and told different things, getting nowhere in the process.

An example of both a surreal and empathetic situation occurs around 2 hours and 40 minutes in where a man is trying desperately to get his social security check having being led to the welfare department from the social security department and is subsequently told to go back to the social security department.

He goes into explaining how he “rips off” different retailers and individuals to get by currently such as stealing chocolate bars from woolworths so he can eat or through ripping off people with car scams. Despite his questionable morality I cannot help but feel empathetic for him even through his ranting, nonsensical stories about mind control, psychic research and coincidental references to Godot.

I find it funny how a film shot in black and white portrays it’s subject matter in such a grey manner. Whilst the welfare system in America is portrayed as flawed and needing reform, wiseman shows neither the staff nor the clients as totally in the right or the wrong. There are situations where both sides are in the wrong and he seems to have balanced it out between the two.

[surflove808]

RE:  Cockles, Bi!Bros, J2M, J2 over-the-top shipping bullshit.  Please read this.  Here goes....part 2.

UPDATED 10/10/2017 for clarity and stuff.  More examples, less whiskey.  Same potty language. 

I've seen too much bullshit misinformation and conjecture out there and I can't stay silent anymore.  So... here's the promised Part 2 of my ridiculously long rant.  Again, I'm asking that whoever reads this, really reads the whole thing, and if you agree...please reblog.  Because this "issue" affects a lot more people than just these guys.  And I know it's long, but if it starts a discussion on how to treat people better and pave the way for acceptance without fear, as well as for how internet witch hunts are NOT ok, I'm hoping we're ALL for it.

Here we we go!

This statement applies to both the actors in this show, and the characters they portray:  I think we can all agree that these men are otherworldly handsome.  And I think that some of us can agree that reading fan fiction (particularly smut, in my case), is very enjoyable. I love the smut!  I'm not here to disabuse you of the notion that seeing these guys together, apart, with you, with me, with a fucking doughnut...sexually... would be seriously hot.   I'm not here to bash fan fiction.  I'm not here to poop on your fantasies or freedom of speech, either.  But I AM asking for more social responsibility.

I am also here to shut down the mentality that we own these characters and these individuals, and that it's ok to take our fantasies (because that's what they are), and try to force feed them to the general public, and even the actors and their families (some of you no-boundary having, people) as if it's ok for our uninformed opinions about the private lives of these men to be twisted and regurgitated to reflect our own desires for them, especially in a public forum.

I'm here to inject some realism.  Via real experiences.  And actual analysis that's thought-out, and based in objective reality.  If you choose to ignore that, and carry on with your fantasy in a way that's harmful?  I can't stop you.  I'm just here to provide a counterpoint and hope that it takes hold with even 1 person, and maybe that person can tell someone else...and maybe apply reverse osmosis with some of this toxic mentality that it’s “ok if you don’t actually know them”.

*Minor, basic, psychology warning*:  Repressed individuals, for example (by example, I mean this is one instance that I'm using) who are uncomfortable with their own sexuality, and are not yet ready to address/express it, have a tendency to avoid circumstances, conversations and actions that may threaten to shatter a carefully constructed facade.  They will go to great lengths to cover-up or act against any instinct that might "out" them.*  

And by repressed individuals?  That doesn't mean GAY individuals exclusively.  That means ANYONE who feels repressed by the "norms" inflicted by their family, their friends, their classmates, their upbringing, etc. But, I just don't see that with these guys. At all.  They're as comfortable with each other as you'd expect long-time collaborators and friends would be... and that should be awesome.  It should be ok.  But for some fans, it's become their job to attempt to force these actors into roles that they've written FOR them.  And that's fucked up.

What sucks is when, much like their onscreen counterparts, these guys can't express affection, support, physical closeness, have dinner together, laugh at the same dirty jokes, defend each other, etc.... without being put under a frigging microscope and dissected.  It breaks my heart a little bit when I start to see them pulling back and being more inhibited and defensive as a result of this BS.  Being a public figure invites a whole new level of scrutiny, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...some of the shit I've seen "fans" say about these guys.

And when the occasional rebel of a "fan" ignores the very limited number of things that can't be asked about anymore (**see dickheads**) at conventions, let's be honest - they are, in fact, being dickheads.  They KNOW what they're doing.  This isn't a press conference with Trump.  This is supposed to be a safe place for the actors and fans to interact about the show.  And yet.... when the occasional someone posits the very old and very, definitively answered question about Destiel - and Jensen in particular - shoots it down or tries to avoid it (and only twice that I've seen.  And very politely), suddenly, he's a homophobic asshole.  He's ALSO gay, BTW.  He just doesn't know it yet... (for those of you who take everything literally, that was sarcasm)

I'll tell you what.  He's a helluva lot nicer than I would ever be.  I'd tell the pushy shitheads that insisted on asking the same fucking DELIBERATELY INFLAMMATORY question that had already been answered, to go fuck themselves.  But Jensen hasn't done that.  Because I guess he's just a more patient person than me.  

He has been inhabiting this character for 12 years, and living with himself for much longer.  Despite that, maybe you DO know his character better than him.  Maybe YOU know him better than he knows himself.  Highly unlikely though.

The way I see it, if faced with seeing my life’s work (actor, husband, friend, father) negated and torn apart for the benefit of a few snarky gifsets, and being ambushed by inappropriate questions, after  dedicating so much of my time and energy and love towards it, I’d be pretty fucking bummed.  It'd be incredibly offensive to have someone tell me I wasn't who I said I was or not doing what I said I was doing.  Over and over and over.

 "YOU say Dean's hetero and there's no Destiel.  The writers say it.  But you're WRONG. Because reasons..."  "YOU may THINK you're fooling us with your marriage and kids, but WE know better!"  What.  The.  Fuck.  Is that all about, people??  If you're doing this, approving of this, liking posts about this?  I'm sorry to be the one to tell you... it's not cute.  It's damaging.  it's disrespectful, and you're that asshole.

I hate seeing anyone put in a position that makes them question how to go about policing their own behavior, their own truth and their own perception with regards to their **REAL** interpersonal relationships, based on the very legitimate fear that certain people won't give a second thought to making not only their life, but the lives of their families - a mockery.

For those of you who have had people snickering behind your backs or spreading gossip about you - it wasn't pleasant was it?  In WHAT situation is it ok to take your unproven hypothesis, and use it to shame, "out", poke fun at, fetishize, or attempt to force feed your theories to the world-at-large in public forums about anyone's private lives?  I really want to know. What makes this ok?

EXAMPLE TIME (using a few common examples I've seen time and time again, that people use to justify the shit that comes out of their mouths or fingertips):

1.  The male cast and their butt swatting and dick grabbing pranks that make certain, excitable people jump to conclusions: This may be just my experience, but still:  I'm a woman, and I know that my gay male friends and straight lady friends think it's not only ok, but a hoot to grab each others nethers,  brazenly flirt, and share explicit sexual info like it's NBD, primarily because we are 100% uninterested in each other, physically.  There is no perceived threat, either way, between us friends.  And no fear of rejection.  We don't view each other as potential mates.  Therefore, we're a bit more "free" with each other.

A lot of my straight guy friends that are comfortable in their own masculinity (I hate that I even have to say that), have no hang ups about swatting each other on the butt, grabbing each others dicks, performing "cup checks", etc.  *Also, see football.*  I don't know why this is a thing that they do, and I don't judge them for it.  In my observations, it's just a thing a fair amount of guys do, that they consider to be an "acceptable" display of affection among friends.  They seem to find it amusing, and frankly - it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS.  So, there's that.  Most men, (that I've known, at least), will never not be fascinated with their own junk, not to mention dicks, balls, asses and boobs in general.  I've also seen them be quite tender with, and observant of over one another when a situation arises.  You know?  Like a normal human response to someone they care about who may need some support??

And if a couple of dude friends want to act like they're 5 years old with each other, well into adulthood...I think it's rather charming, and hilarious, if I'm being honest.  I may not date men, but I absolutely adore them!  And I sure as fuck don't want to see the baby steps that they are able to take away from toxic masculinity (to quote a lovely DM I got earlier), turned against them by people who think it's ok to project their own crap on them.

2.  Sharing clothes: Again, just speaking from years of experience, and not claiming to know these guys or their reasons for (what, on 3-4 occasions, being seen with the same shirt?)... It's not just Jensen and Misha that do this, IF in fact, they do it at all.  A lot of us do this.  And if they do?  It's not a big deal, people.

I share clothes with friends for convenience and comedy's sake, quite a bit.  I own a bright orange hoodie that has been borrowed by so many friends that it's got it's own traveling backstory.   I've borrowed pants, shoes, tops, etc. on occasion, based on my immediate needs,  and vice-versa.  Especially when traveling.  Saves hassle and space to share a wardrobe, when possible.  But then, maybe Jared, Jensen and Misha do it because they are clearly boning the shit out of each other in secret.  And they're MEN.  And men can't do that without some deeper meaning ascribed to it, apparently.

**Side note:  2 weeks ago, a guy friend of mine came straight from his construction job to a bbq at my house and asked to take a shower.  But he didn't have any clean clothes of his own to change into.  As a joke - I offered him my frilliest, silkiest top.  And he LOVED it!  Wore it all night and then wore it home. Got it back, freshly laundered last week. His girlfriend (one of my best friends), especially got a kick out of it!  Lots of pics were taken and laughs were had.  But none of us even considered that this was something worth ruminating over.  It was Just. Funny.**  

Good grief...If I were subjected to the same scrutiny that these actors are, based on wardrobe swaps alone, I'd be covertly fucking or wanting to fuck 75% of my friends.  And folks, that's just not accurate.  And no, I'm not fucking the other 25%, we're just not sharing clothes.  :D

3.  Perceived jealousy: Yes, some lovers get jealous.  You know who else does?  Friends, co-workers, siblings... Does the occasional side glance from one of these men merit dissection and exposition?  Do we really have the prescient knowledge that enables us to know what these men are thinking and feeling with every glance, every movement?  I'm only asking because certain individuals seem to think that these miniscule moments are more meaningful when they can be attributed to these guys.  What makes these guys so damn special?  Sorry.... maybe I'm just jealous.  Feel free to speculate.  I really wanna know.

4.  "Longing looks", "sexy eyes", "the romantic gaze":

I'm going to tell you what I see with my own eyes, without the benefit of slowed-down gifs, conjecture, or the Cosmo Guide to Body Language and Crushes....or whatever the hell is informing opinions out there.

I'm going to focus on Jensen here because he seems to be the lynchpin that holds this whole sordid affair together.  In addition to him "eye-fucking/loving" Jared and Misha, have you also noticed the way he "gazes" at and how affectionate he is with Rob, Billy, Jim Beaver, and JDM?  If you have, you may have noticed that he has a very open, expressive face and big, gorgeous eyes.  And he seems, by all accounts, to be a very affectionate dude.  And to his credit,  despite our best efforts to call attention to every single fucking thing he does, he continues to try to be himself.  

And when he's paying attention to someone when they're speaking or performing (which is kind of a normal, respectful thing to do, as opposed to looking in boredom at the ceiling or the floor).... he seems to be 100% in the moment.  Unless he's competing to tell a story.  :D  Again...just using my eyes to observe.

He's especially oooey gooey with Rob.  Why hasn't he been linked with Rob in a torrid, secret affair?  Is Rob too short?  Not cute enough?  I wanna get to the bottom of this.  What?  Is Rob chopped liver or something??

Folks, I do the same thing.  A LOT of people do. Anyone who focuses on whoever is in front of them or next to them, really.  Or am I in the minority, in that I'm capable of holding eye contact with, and paying attention to people that I'm not attracted to when they're speaking?  If so, ya'll are some shallow fuckers.  Wait!!  Have I been eye-fucking people all along??  That would explain a lot, actually.

One buddy of mine in particular, has these big, gorgeous brown eyes and he gets this look when he's listening to people, and he looks like he's in love.  He's not.  IT'S JUST HIS FUCKING FACE.  Poor guy has gotten in some hot water over that with a few hopeful, clueless ladies thinking he was *into it* when he wasn't.

Well, you may say... WHY does Jensen always gaze that way at Jared and Misha??  (First of all - see above), but I have a theory:  Have you ever seen him do panels with anyone else?  Who are the three main characters of this show?  Who does he share all of his public appearances with, when he's not solo?  He spends the lions share of his time working on and promoting Supernatural.  Is Danneel in Supernatural?  No...she's not.  When they DO have precious little private time together, are they sitting in panels and being videotaped before a live studio audience, so that we can analyze their chemistry?  Again...NO.

I don't know what their marriage is like.  I'm gonna do the thing where I take their happiness and love at face value.  Because it's none of my damn business.  I believe what they've said and presented as a couple, because why wouldn't I?  The better question is... why wouldn't you??  What's your motivation?

Misha affection:

Misha is a bad ass.  Misha has been supported and enabled to evolve (again - going off what he's SAID in panels) Misha is not afraid of what people are gonna say about him when he wears a dress, or fakes an orgasm onstage with Jensen, kisses Jensen on the cheek, etc.   And anything that he does to convert prejudice and fear into understanding, is A-OK by me.  You can be masculine, and straight and still be open to exploration, still retain softness, and allow yourself to have your fingernails painted onstage without fear of repercussions from the peanut gallery, if you are allowed to get to that space, without people fucking with you.  I could speculate on how Jensens friendship with someone like Misha might have made it more tolerable for him to handle all the bullshit that comes his way via unfounded speculation about his sexuality, but then, I wouldn't be sticking with simple observations based on what I hear from their mouths and what I see with my eyes.  I know, it can be hard....BUT IT'S POSSIBLE, PEOPLE.

Grooming:

There's a reason why our behavior correlates to the fact that we share 99% of our DNA with chimpanzees (*also, see above for obsessing over our own genitalia*).  I've had frigging strangers reach over and pull lint off of me.  I had a guy on a busy NYC street try to pull a mole off my neck once, because he thought it was a tick.  I don't know what else to say.  From their own mouths, these guys have said it's a learned behavior from over a decade of checking each other before cameras roll.  But if you think it means that they're in love... well.  Ok, I guess.

"Checking in":

Again, I'm assuming and hoping all of us have at least one friend or family member that we're close to and care very much about, especially if they are, or have been, at risk.  If you think that this person is approaching an emotional cliff  (or any other kind of cliff for that matter), would you let them fall off, or would you let them know that you were there?  Via a song, a look, a call, a touch, a word, a pat on the back, etc?  

Or is that just a gay thing?

Conclusion:

These guys don't have to give a shit about the fans, but they go above and beyond.  They're as invested in their characters as we are.  MORE so, and rightly so.  And they're dedicated and invested in their fans in a way that I've never seen before.  And just going off written and verbal accounts that I'm sure you all have been privy to as well, these particular actors go to bat for vulnerable people and at-risk people, both personally, in situations that don't involve PR, as well as outreach through their respective campaigns.  So, I respect them very much as creative entities and as people.  I think most of us do. And I'm fucking going to bat for THEM.   For those who don't, well... here's to hoping that changes.  Or that your focus does. I am guessing the average age (intellectually/emotionally/or physically) of the people who read way too much into every gesture between these actors, and FREAK OUT...is pretty young.  And I'm not saying that's a bad thing (being young, that is), but I AM saying the constant badgering of, and attempted *outing* of anyone is pretty abhorrent behavior, regardless of your maturity level.  

Again, your words matter.  They affect lives.  They affect perception.  These aren't just your private thoughts and fantasies anymore when you're making public statements on a worldwide forum/social network, and taking things way out of context to back up your ill-informed theories about people you don't even know.  And by "affect lives", I mean that these public figures have developed a thick enough skin and enough sense to largely ignore the bullshit, but they are still human beings and deserving of our respect, no?  

And by “affect lives”, I think as a society, we have a responsibility to the young men and women coming up in this world who still see -  via these kinds of posts - that despite years of slow progress, their slightest actions can still be dissected and analyzed and gossiped about, with regards to their sexuality in particular.  I think that people who like to post real accusations about real people, based on their skewed perception of these peoples interactions, in the "interest" of supporting actual LGBTQ people, are causing FAR more harm than good.

It can be destructive.  And it can be limiting to intellectual and emotional growth, at large.  And you're kidding yourselves if you think you're being "cute" and that it's harmless to ship real people to the point of harassment on a public forum.  All you're accomplishing, is showing current and future generations of kids that if they don't stick with your definition of heteronormative behavior, that you'll do the outing for them via social media. I wish certain individuals were a bit more responsible with their online musings when it comes to real people who have real families and real children who will probably stumble upon this content one day... and try to be a bit more empathetic in general.  Get out from in front of your screens and look around you and ask yourself:  How would I feel if someone posted this kind of shit about my sister?  My Mom?  My Dad?  My GF/BF/best friend without their consent??

Or is spreading malicious gossip only ok when you're not directly affected?

I'm just hoping that the people who fuck with these guys wives and make vids and publicly try to sexualize their friendships on Tumblr and elsewhere, are too young to know better.  Here's to hoping they learn better, going forward.

If you are doing this?   It's never too late to learn how to be a better human.  Find a way to indulge your theories without harassing these very decent men, and well... anyone, right??  If these guys DO in fact have any "secrets"?  They're entitled to keep them.  But the likely reality?  They're living their lives truthfully, in the face of the shitty online perpetuation of rumors, and giving us all a lesson in what it means to behave graciously under pressure and move on with kindness, when they could just as easily shut down convention filming as well as fan interaction.  Appreciate that.  And appreciate each others right to live without shame, scrutiny or unfounded speculation.

And if I missed some tags?  Please, let me know.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************ A brief recap for those who couldn't glean this info from the body of this open letter:

I am not anti-LGBTQ, anti-Cockles, anti-J2M, anti-J2, anti-shippers.

I AM anti-harassment

And I AM anti-slanderous gossip in any form.

*******That being said*******

I am pro SPN actor, pro human, pro fandom, pro positivity

I am also pro education with regards to acceptance and tolerance, and just....basically, leaving people the fuck alone.  Especially when you do not know them.

[doctor--idiot]

Intertextuality

Written for @spnkinkbingo. Square filled: Finger Sucking. [AO3]

(Just once I would like to be able to write porn without so many feelings. Just once. Please?)

It starts out as a joke. Sam has no other excuse than boredom. And maybe a little pettiness.

His brother has been flirting with the waitress for the past twenty minutes and Sam grew sick of it exactly nineteen minutes ago. They just quickly went to grab a bite before leaving town and there’s no new case yet so Sam doesn’t have anything to busy himself with.

He catches pieces of Dean’s conversation with the young waitress here and there but mostly he’s staring out the window, twiddling his thumbs. Apparently, his brother’s gone on the offensive because he’s making lewd suggestions and Sam has to fight the urge to roll his eyes every time the girl giggles.

“I don’t mind it a little rougher,” Dean says now and Sam missed the context but he’s bored out of his mind and it just sort of slips out when he pipes in, “That's not what you said last night.”

He’s annoyed and feeling snarky and it’s quiet anyway but not quiet enough. Both the young women and Dean fall silent and turn to stare at him, the waitress with a rather confused wrinkle on her forehead and Dean with an expression that looks sort of like he wants to burst out laughing but his eyebrows are too close to his hairline, clearly stating, ‘What the hell?’

Sam waves it away, unable to come up with a reply, and gulps down the rest of his coffee. He stands up a little too fast. “You ready to go?”

Any amusement that might have been there vanishes from Dean’s face. His eyes flick to the young woman – Sam hasn’t even bothered to look at her name tag – and back to Sam. “What?”

Sam ignores him and decides to make a detour to the bathroom, leaving Dean to chat up the waitress some more. When he returns, he plops back down onto the cushy corner seat.

He knocks his fingers against the table to get Dean’s attention. “Alright, let’s go,” he says, “You’ve still got to deliver on that blowjob you promised me this morning.”

He shifts out of the booth, enjoying it entirely too much how Dean’s eyes widen ridiculously and his mouth falls open. The vaguely confused expression of the waitress gives way to something indescribable and Sam is shaking with the effort not to explode with laughter.

Leaving the explaining to his brother, he stands up and heads for the door, brushing his fingers against Dean’s shoulder on the way out for good measure. He catches a hiss-whisper of “I thought you said he was your brother” from the girl’s mouth but doesn’t hear Dean’s reply.

It doesn’t take two minutes for Dean to slam out of the diner’s front door.

“What in the ever-loving fuck, Sam?”

He looks genuinely pissed and the time for humor has passed. Sam sighs. “Dean, I’m tired. I wanna leave. I have no desire to see you flirt with some floozy right in front of me and then have to stay another night because you can’t control your urges.”

“So you had to–“ Dean pinches his nose. There’s a moment of silence before – to Sam’s utter astonishment – he actually huffs a laugh. “God,” he says, the corners of his mouth twitching, “You’re a whiny bitch sometimes, you know that?”

Sam shrugs.

Dean waves a hand at him. “Get in the damn car.”

~+~

It develops into a bit of a prank war between the two of them. Sam has to admit that this one is on him since he’s the one who started it.

Since it has the positive side effect of making it impossible for Dean to pick up women if Sam’s around, making suggestive comments and scaring them off, Sam continues to do precisely that. He is truly surprised when, instead of blowing up in his face at some point, Dean starts to go along with it after a while, after he realized that Sam isn’t going to stop any time soon.

He has started grabbing Sam’s ass in public – at the most inopportune of times – to make him jump with surprise, drop his coffee, or bang his knee against the underside of the table. He’s always straight-faced while doing it, too.

It was sort of funny the first couple of times but it escalated when it made them look unprofessional during cases. Presenting a cool and collected image, or projecting imposing authority of the FBI becomes considerably more difficult when Sam’s supposed “partner” is practically feeling him up during witness statements.

Sam might be the one who started it but Dean’s the one having endless fun with it. Sooner of later, this was bound to come back to bite Sam in the ass.

“Hey, look at this,” Dean says while they’re at the police department, reaching out and twirling a piece of Sam’s hair around his finger to get his attention.

Sam slaps his hand away. “Alright, stop, I get it.”

Dean looks up from the box of files he’s looking through, eyes wide and inquiring, appearing honestly innocent, and he holds up his palms in defense. “Okay,” he says as if he isn’t quite sure what he did wrong and Sam doesn’t know what to say. He’s fairly positive Dean is screwing with him again but it’s not a hundred percent.

He tucks his hair behind his ear, ignores it. “Sorry. Show me what you got.”

~+~

“Why am I always the one getting fucked?”

Sam sprays his coffee over the entire surface of the desk in front of him. He coughs, “What?”

Dean scrunches up his nose, wiping some stray coffee droplets off his forearm. “Nice, Sam, real classy.” He frowns. “I mean, why is it that people never bat an eye when you joke about me taking it up the ass?”

Sam pushes his coffee mug out of his reach before he spills any more of it. “I–What are you asking me here?”

“I don’t know. Never mind.”

Sam looks at him, takes in the crease between his eyebrows. “I told you before, maybe they think you’re overcompensating.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “What does that even mean?”

It’s beyond ridiculous that they’re having this conversation. “It’s just something you project. It’s pretty obvious, even to strangers, that most of your tough-guy image is an act. They think you need to feel … more manly in a way.”

Dean’s mouth curls. “And that automatically means that I’m the–the bottom in our fictitious relationship?”

“‘Course not.”

“You just said–Sam, please try to make sense.”

Sam laughs, can’t help himself. “It’s just something people tend to assume if you’re … the way you are, I guess. Is it important?”

Dean makes a sound of disgusted negation but Sam doesn’t think that’s the end of it. True to form, Dean processes in silence, then, after about five minutes, unfolds his legs from underneath him and gets up from where he’s been perched on the bed.

“But I mean–“

Sam interrupts him with a sigh. “Do you really wanna know why someone would think that?”

Dean blinks. “Of course I fucking wanna know. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“You’re a control freak,” Sam says slowly, “but you can’t admit it. You act like you’re larger than life, always the protector, the guy who knows everything, but you’re secretly looking for someone who takes care of you. You don’t like to open up to people and make yourself vulnerable so you’d only trust someone that much if you were in a long-standing relationship with them.”

He smirks, adds. “Besides, you’re smaller and prettier than me.”

Dean inhales sharply, his mouth falling open. He looks like he’s two seconds from chewing Sam out but then he snaps his mouth shut with a click, staring at Sam.

“You know it doesn’t matter, right?” Sam presses, “Even if you do like it, it’s not shameful and it certainly doesn’t make you any less … manly or whatever. It’s all just preference.”

Several expressions cross Dean’s face, too quick to grasp, and he silently chews his bottom lip. Then he scoffs, “You know I never actually had sex with a guy, right?”

It’s only when he says it that Sam notices he’s been wondering about that. The answer makes him feel strangely relieved. Then he realizes that throughout their entire exchange Dean never once denied anything.

~+~

Dean touches him more in general. It wouldn’t really be noticeable if Sam wasn’t keeping an eye out for it. He is almost certain that Dean isn’t even aware of it for the most part. He still makes the occasional lewd comment on purpose but the difference is striking.

So maybe it’s simply another positive side effect.

It’s just … Sam is confused by it. He doesn’t know what to do with it. Because he’s not so sure that what they’re doing is healthy. It’s harmless enough but sometimes Dean looks at him. And he catches himself looking at Dean and wondering … Wondering.

The whole thing is messing with his head, that’s probably all there is to it. But that doesn’t stop him from thinking, his brain circling over the possibilities. It’s not like it’s the first time they’ve pretended to be a couple for a case or been mistaken for one by a stranger.

Not denying it is easier, even useful sometimes.

But now it’s almost like a compulsion. Whenever Sam catches his brother setting his eyes on a pretty woman, he immediately wants to spoil it. Has to spoil it. And interestingly enough, Dean never seems angry about it, is barely even irritated anymore.

Sometimes Sam even wonders if Dean does it on purpose, checking out girls when Sam is right next to him. But it’s a ridiculous thought. It’s just the way Dean is wired and he probably doesn’t even think about it.

Sam isn’t stupid. He might be a little reluctant when it comes to admitting things to himself but he can’t ignore it completely.

He is jealous. Blood-boiling, rage-inducing hideous jealousy – and it’s not Dean he’s jealous of.

“So,” he asks when Dean joins him at the bar, twirling his empty whiskey tumbler between his fingers, “Find anyone nice?”

Dean signals the bartender for a beer. “Nah,” he says, spinning on the bar stool to face Sam, “Besides you’d just ruin it for me anyway. Tell ‘em about how I like to be tied to the headboard or somethin’.”

“Do you?”

Dean blinks. “Do I what?”

“Like to be tied to the headboard.” Sam’s not sober enough to have this conversation with his brother. Or not drunk enough.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Dean doesn’t say anything else and Sam doesn’t hold out hope for a reply. He gets the bartender to pour him a refill. Next to him, Dean sips his beer in silence.

Then Dean quietly says, “I don’t know. Never tried it.”

Sam doesn’t want to ask but he can’t stop himself and there’s an element of the ridiculous to it. “You want to?’

Dean snorts. “What is this? The kinky version of Twenty Questions?”

Sam shakes his head. “Never mind.” He throws back his whiskey, the liquid burning its way down to his stomach.

Dean rolls his beer bottle between his palms. He’s looking absently around the room but it’s obvious that he isn’t seeing anything, just thinking. “I don’t know,” he says finally, “I suppose.”

He focuses back on Sam, a grin around the corner of his mouth that’s typical and just this side of fake. “I’ll try anything once.”

Sam makes himself smile in return but the only thing he can think about is how if Dean ever was to try anything, it wouldn’t be with him, and that thought in itself is so disgustingly wrong that he can barely finish it. He curls his hand into a fist against the coarse fabric of his jeans as something ugly and possessive stirs inside of him.

Dean is still looking at him and it’s unnerving. Sam closes his trembling fingers around his empty glass. The bartender spots him, lifts an eyebrow in question, and Sam nods. Definitely not drunk enough.

Dean regards Sam’s third whiskey a little suspiciously. “Something up with you?”

Sam just shakes his head and empties the glass in one gulp.

~+~

Dean is in the middle of hustling pool with a couple from New Orleans, who keep snatching stolen glances at him, when Sam joins them.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean grins, his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, a pink flush to his cheek after too many liquor shots, “This’s Jim an’ Maggie. Guys, this is my–“

“Boyfriend,” Sam cuts in automatically and Dean doesn’t even react to the word. Just smoothes out his shoulders and lines up the next shot, leaving Sam stuck with making conversation.

There’s a moment his jealousy spikes again, worsened by too much alcohol and the late hour, when Dean bends over the pool table and Maggie’s eyes visibly wander, but Jim is staring intently at Sam and Sam slowly catches on to what this is about.

As if on cue, Dean straightens up again, leaning backwards against the edge of the table, chalking his cue stick. “They’re lookin’ for another couple,” he says almost casually, looking up at Sam from underneath his lashes and Sam can’t tell if it’s intentional.

Before he can say anything Dean continues, “But I already told ‘em you don’t share.” He turns to the couple, shrugs his shoulders. “He can get possessive.”

Sam struggles to control his facial features while he’s trying not to stare at his brother in shock. Then Maggie comes up next to him and nudges her hip into his.

“I totally understand,” she says with a lilt, looking at Dean, then up at Sam, lashes fluttering, much like Dean did a moment ago. “Would’a been too good to be true.”

“Come on, honey,” Jim says, kissing her cheek, “It’s getting late, let’s head back.” He brushes Sam’s shoulder with his fingertips, not an unwelcome touch. “If you guys change your mind, we’re here for two more nights. We’re staying at the Chestnut Inn.”

Sam gives a smile, doesn’t mention that he and Dean won’t stay in this town for much longer. Maybe for the night but he’s itching to leave.

They say their goodbyes and Dean puts away the pool cues. “Alright, I’m beat. Let’s go back to the motel and sleep. You can do your thing and find us a job in the morning.”

Sam shakes his head but not in negation, just to clear it. He feels like he’s getting whiplash from this.

Dean’s palm comes down on his biceps, strokes up to his shoulder. “Earth to Sam? You okay?”

Sam croaks, “Yeah,” can’t help the shiver at Dean’s touch.

Dean tilts his head. “Sorry ‘bout this,” he says, “I just figured–I didn’t know what to say to make ‘em let it go.”

Sam looks at him, doesn’t mention that he could have just said that they’re brothers, could have just told them the truth, because somehow he can’t make himself say it. Dean’s eyes are hazy from the alcohol, his face open and vulnerable, fingers playing with Sam’s collar, and he’s too beautiful for Sam to even try to find the words.

It would be so easy to wrap his arms around Dean’s waist, pull him in and closer, feel the heat from his body, but the moment is over too quickly and Dean walks away from him, out the door.

Sam unroots himself from the spot. “Wait!” he calls over the music, then pushes through the door into the night, “Dean!”

He catches up with him at the car in the parking lot and Dean turns, leaning against the driver side door. “Yeah?”

Sam stops right in front of him. If he meant to say anything, it’s gone now.

It may have started out as a joke but there’s nothing funny about the way Dean is looking at him, head tilted back against the roof of the car, and biting his lip. It’s nothing but serious when Sam puts his hands on his brother, a little hesitantly at first but he quickly loses the nervousness when Dean’s eyes slip shut.

Dean gives a small gasp as Sam’s arms go entirely around him, encircling his waist, pulling him in, and it’s a beautiful little sound. Sam dips his head, about to lick it right out of Dean’s mouth, but Dean halts him with a gentle hand to his sternum.

“Sam?”

Sam hums in acknowledgement. He’s looking down at his brother and somehow he’s transported back to when he was twenty-two and noticeably taller than Dean for the very first time. He remembers it feeling so wrong and beyond strange. It still doesn’t seem quite right sometimes.

Right now it’s the perfect position to tilt his head a little and nuzzle his brother’s temple, into his hairline and feel the short strands tickle his skin. Dean smells like he always does, motel soap and lingering gun powder, and it’s home and perfect and Sam wants.

“What–“ Dean starts, licks his lips, “I mean why–I don’t understand.”

“Yes, you do. I think you do.”

“But I don’t want–“ he breaks off again, pain visible in the way he’s scrunching up his face and setting his jaw.

Sam backs off a little, leaving his palms a body heat pressure against Dean’s flanks. “Don’t want what? To feel like this?”

Dean nods, then shakes his head. Blows out a frustrated a breath. “It wasn’t–I had no idea this would end like this.” He gives a laugh but there’s no humor in it.

“What do you want me to do?” Sam asks and when there’s no reply, he steps back farther, removing his hands from Dean’s body and it might just be the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

But then Dean reaches for him, for his hands, clasps them hard and says, “No.”

Sam keeps himself still, flattens his breathing. He’s trying to give Dean the space he needs without putting too much actual distance between them. He knows what he wants, he’s sure. Hell, maybe he’s been sure all along, maybe this is what subconsciously started the whole thing. But he can’t decide for his brother. Dean needs to arrive at the same place Sam’s at on his own.

Dean tugs him closer again and Sam goes willingly, folding himself back around Dean’s torso as Dean guides his hands to come to a rest on the small of his back. Dean exhales noisily and puts his own hands on Sam’s biceps.

Just that small touch – through clothing nonetheless – makes Sam briefly close his eyes.

“I can’t–“ Dean shakes his head again, then tilts his chin up, demands, “Kiss me.”

It’s quite the change in demeanor but this is Dean and Sam isn’t surprised by anything anymore. His brother is an ‘all or nothing’ kind of guy and Sam goes with it, doesn’t have to be told twice. He cups one hand behind the back of Dean’s neck and leans down, catches Dean’s lower lip between his teeth and sucks on it before he cocks his head and full-on kisses his brother.

Dean makes a little noise as if he didn’t suspect Sam to actually follow his request but he doesn’t pull away. He sinks against Sam, into him, and something blooms in Sam’s chest, knots his stomach with desire. He fingers are digging into bone behind Dean’s ear and he kisses harder, opens his mouth at the same time as Dean does.

The sky is pitch-black and there’s no one around but Sam is still floored that Dean is allowing this here and at all but Dean doesn’t seem preoccupied with their surroundings in any way. He’s brushing his hands up to Sam’s shoulders, thumb resting on his collarbone, and there’s no hesitation in his movements whatsoever now.

Another thing that surprises Sam is that Dean doesn’t make any attempts to try to gain the upper hand, doesn’t strive for control over the kiss and he seems perfectly comfortable, caged between the car and Sam’s body without any leverage.

He always – after his initial shocked annoyance –  went with Sam’s jokes about dick-sucking and being on he receiving end of things and maybe, maybe Sam wants to push this a little bit.

He gets his thumb under Dean’s jaw, tilts it up a little further, and shoves his knees in between Dean’s legs against the car door so Dean has to rise up on his toes a little bit. His fingers dig into Sam’s skin as he’s struggling to maintain his balance.

But he doesn’t say anything. Just makes another one of those breathy sounds that comes out muffled around Sam’s tongue. His mouth is pliant against Sam’s, following every one of Sam’s movements and it’s so different to everyone he’s kissed in his life because even here they’re totally in sync and it’s almost too familiar for his own comfort.

For a moment there it weirdly reminds him of Jessica. Or – and the thought almost makes him laugh – it’s always been the other way around.

It doesn’t matter now, not now when Dean’s so soft and entirely pliable, Sam’s to form and mold. It makes warmth pool in his stomach that’s not just emotion. He shifts against Dean, hikes his knee a little higher between his brother’s legs, and makes sure that Dean can feel the line of Sam’s cock against his own hip, half-hard and growing, filling more with every lick of their tongues, and Sam’s far past being ashamed.

Dean’s gasp is louder this time, his hips twitch, and he brings some space between their mouths. HIs lips are dark pink, looking thoroughly kissed and bitten, spit-slick, and it’s all Sam can do not to dive back in and rid Dean of all his clothes right here in the parking lot.

Dean’s eyes are wide, awake despite the blown pupils, irises dark green in the low light, a flush in his cheeks that somehow makes him look adorable and utterly fuckable at the same time. His taste lingers in Sam’s mouth, liquor and spice, and Sam’s so screwed. Irreversibly and unapologetically screwed.

He is waiting for the it to be too much, for Dean to bolt, the inevitable shove backwards and the ‘I can’t’. But impossibly, Dean stays put. Just stares at him for a few crucial seconds, his mouth half-open, and Sam can’t help himself. He strokes his thumb from Dean’s neck to his bottom lip, pressing against it gently, feeling it give. He crooks his finger then, clicking the nail against the line of Dean’s teeth and Dean’s eyes shudder closed.

It’s encouragement, an invitation if Sam’s ever seen one, and he doesn’t waste any time sliding the digit into Dean’s mouth, letting him close his lips around it. Sam feels the ridges of Dean’s tongue against the calloused pad of his thumb and it sparks right down to his groin. He bends forward, attaches his own mouth to the corner of Dean’s, then down his jaw and the line of his neck, all the while pressing his thumb against Dean’s clever tongue.

He withdraws then, replacing his thumb with his index and middle finger, and gives a quiet groan against the hollow of Dean’s throat when Dean sucks them into his mouth right away, his hand even coming up to wrap strong fingers against Sam’s wrist and holding him in place.

Sam doesn’t think he’s ever seen or felt anything as erotic as his brother suckling and licking at his fingers as if they’re the best thing he’s ever tasted, and he’s aching to get out of his jeans and stroke himself. He nicks Dean’s skin with his teeth before pulling back

He hesitates a moment before he asks, “Backseat?” not entirely sure where they stand, but Dean only nods, nothing left of his uncertainty from earlier.

The car is roomy but containing two fully grown men struggling to get out of their clothes is a challenge whichever way you look at it and Sam bumps his elbow on the car door two times. He just so manages not to hit his head against the roof through sheer luck. Dean fares a little better, shuffling along the bench seat on his back, kicking out of his jeans. He only narrowly misses Sam’s head with his foot and judging by the way he muffles his laughter it was entirely premeditated.

Sam snorts a laugh of his own and grabs Dean’s gloriously naked thighs with both hands, spreading them around his shoulders as he sinks down to the leather, bending over his brother so he can lick across the head of his dick, and Dean’s amusement turns to low moans real damn fast. If Sam had any room in his mouth for grinning he would, but as it is he just takes Dean’s cock deeper into his mouth, careful to keep his teeth away, and feels it harden further against his tongue.

Dean’s fingers tangle in his hair and Sam isn’t sure but he thinks he can feel them tremble slightly.

“Sam, fuck,” Dean blurts and Sam hums around him, making him buck his hips up. He pulls back a little to avoid gagging, then spreads his forearm across Dean’s abdomen to hold him down.

He slides his mouth farther down, takes as much as he confidently can, and swallows. Dean near-shouts, jerking against Sam’s hold.

Sam is peripherally worried about the possibility of arrest for public indecency so he reaches up, hooks two of his fingers into Dean’s mouth again, his palm cupped around Dean’s chin, thumb pressing right over his pulse point. He can feel the quick thump thump thump of Dean’s heart.

Dean makes a choked noise, halfway between affront and amusement, but takes the hint and begins sucking at Sam’s fingers.

Sam can feel the vibrations of Dean’s moans. He’s trying to gain any kind of friction against his cock but the leather seat isn’t exactly the most comfortable place, so he takes his arm off Dean’s stomach and reaches down between his own legs.

Dean starts to shift his hips again and Sam pulls his mouth away, ignoring Dean’s whine of protest.

He growls, “Stay down,” and Dean gives a hiccup-y moan but obeys, only little twitches of his hips and his quivering abs giving away how much he’s struggling to stay still. He bites Sam’s fingers to tell him what he thinks of it, slight sting of pain, and Sam shoves his fingers farther into Dean’s mouth in retaliation until he almost-gags.

It’s not really violent but Sam wouldn’t be surprised if the fingers that aren’t in Dean’s mouth, the ones pressed against his jaw, biting nails and solid grip, will have left bruises by morning. He feels the pin-sting of Dean’s fingers pulling at his hair but he doesn’t have a hand to dislodge them, and anyway, he doesn’t much care to.

He works his own cock in the same rhythm as he sucks Dean’s and he’s enveloped in Dean’s smell, sweat and musk, and maybe it makes him a little crazy because he pulls his fingers out of Dean’s mouth then and presses them between the cheeks of Dean’s ass, leaving a wet trail down his perineum before pushing gently against the tight muscle below.

Dean’s other hand comes down on his shoulder, his heels digging into Sam’s back. “Sam, I’m–“

He breaks off, shudders when Sam increases the pressure and breaches him with just the tip of his index finger, taking him deep into his mouth at the same time, and the muscle around his finger clamps tight as Dean comes with a muffled groan.

Sam cleans Dean’s cock with his tongue while Dean shakes through his orgasm and speeds up the hand he’s got on his own dick. He twists his thumb over the tip, smearing precum, and he briefly, ridiculously, thinks about how Dean is going to kill him if he gets semen on the upholstery.

Dean’s hand is slack in Sam’s hair, weakly cupping his head where Sam’s got it rested against the inside of Dean’s thigh.

He mutters, “Holy shit, Sammy,” and maybe it’s the exhausted awe in his voice or the nickname but in any way, that’s when Sam comes, too, into his own hand.

He turns on to his side to catch his breath, head lolling on Dean’s stomach and he’s almost tempted to clean his hand off on either the leather or on Dean’s clothes, just to piss his brother off, but then he has a better idea.

He lifts his hand, smearing his sticky fingers against Dean’s bottom lip in an act of bravery, looking up to gauge Dean’s reaction. Dean raises his eyebrows and for a moment Sam thinks he’s gone too far but then Dean’s tongue flicks out, little kitten-licks against the tips of Sam’s fingers until he opens his mouth wider and sucks them clean of Sam’s own release.

Sam groans weakly. If he hadn’t just come harder than he had in a while, he might be able to get hard again just from this.

Dean doesn’t stop until Sam’s fingers are glistening with saliva, then pulls off and grins down at Sam, entirely too smug, and it makes Sam laugh.

Tagged by request: @ghivasheluh @cupcaketimelord @runtosleepdreamer (Anyone else wanna be tagged for either the Kink Bingo or Wincest or all my fics, let me know!)

[avanneman]

Kevin Costner’s “Highwaymen”: A plateful of fascism, racism on the side

Kevin Costner? Kevin “Dances With Wolves” Costner, who defended the Lakota against the genocidal white patriarchy? Kevin “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” Costner, who was, you know, the prince of thieves, and defied the, you know, genocidal white patriarchy? That Kevin Costner is a fascist?

Damn straight, dude. Big Daddy Kev has had with these kids, who are, it seems, nothing but a bunch of damn murderer-worshippin’ hippies, brainwashed by the damn media into turning their backs on everything that’s decent, wholesome, and capitalist in American life. It’s time to whup some sense into their damn heads, or maybe just damn kill ‘em, because, come to think of it, that would solve the problem pretty damn quick.

That seems to be the message of Kevin’s latest, Highwaymen, done for the small screen and available on Netflix. Highwaymen didn’t seem to get much press when it premiered a couple of weeks ago, either pro or con, but, as a retelling—and, basically, a point-by-point rebuttal—of Warren Beatty’s neo nouvelle vague masterpiece, Bonnie & Clyde, which hit the American movie-going public like a bomb back in 1967, made Pauline Kael famous, and (so I said in my review) allowed American movies to go up once and for all, it certainly makes a statement, which I am going to disagree with, at length.

Maybe Kevin Costner, who was all of twelve when B&C came out, couldn’t understand why Warren “Pretty Boy” Beatty was getting all his press, or maybe Kevin is just souring with age, or maybe Trumpism is catching—which God forbid—but, whatever the reason, it’s clear that Kevin decided that, 50 years after the fact, it was time to take 82-year-old Pretty Boy down a peg. Surely few films—particularly one of such expense and quality—have been so closely crafted to “refute” an earlier film. Highwaymen scarcely makes “sense” if not viewed with constant awareness of Bonnie & Clyde.1

The film is visually very well made, like Bonnie & Clyde working very hard to convey the harshness of Depression-Era Texas. The film opens by showing us an old timey car pulling up in a field and a dainty gal, obviously Bonnie because she’s packing a tommy gun,2 firing it into the air as a signal for jail break (actually a “prison fam break”) that she and Clyde are apparently coordinating. She’s deliberately shown to us in a long shot, letting us know that (probably) we won’t be getting a real look at either Bonnie or Clyde until the end, rather like Mrs. Bates in Psycho.

Afterwards, we cut to the offices of the Texas governor—canny, soulless “Ma” Ferguson (Kathy Bates). Ma’s a fraud, like all politicians, all image and no substance. She’s taking heat from the press for all this Bonnie & Clyde stuff, and it’s time to find someone to blame for her own incompetence, time to pull “legendary” Texas Ranger Frank Hamer out of retirement. Ma shut down the Rangers for some unspecified reason, but, since she’s a chick, you can bet it was some kind of chickenshit chick shit, like some little Missy got her little nose all out of joint because some dude might have given her ass a little pat. If it’s not for sale don’t advertise, sweetheart! Yeah, the gals always be whinin’, but when there’s a real job to be done, all of a sudden they’ve got to find a real man to do it.

And Frank, well, he’s a real man, living large and in charge, got a big house and fancy young society wife to run it for him. He sure don’t need no job, and no need to do Ma no favors, but Bonnie and Clyde, they’ve been killing peace officers. It’s a job that’s got to be done, and a real man don’t quit till the job’s done.

Frank sets off in the fancy new Lincoln he just gave his wife, a car whose elegant lines will be featured over and over again in the film, with near fetish-like devotion, seemingly a compulsive echo of all the gleaming thirties roadsters that Bonnie and Clyde pilfer in Beatty’s film, though none of them, I think, were luxury models like Frank’s Lincoln.3

Once Frank’s got the car, he needs a companion, and he finds one in fellow dinosaur Maney Gault (Woody Harrelson). Maney don’t look like much, and he has to pee a lot (which, when you come to think about it, is pretty damn funny), but Frank, he’s looking for guts, not glamor, and Maney’s got the real stuff in his belly.

And so off they go, taking shit from all kinds of snot-nosed fancy-pants kids in the state police and even the FBI. They got airplanes and shit, they can even listen to your telephone conversations and you can’t do anything about it! How scary is that!4

Frank and Maney, they don’t have nothin’, nothin’ but smarts, smarts and a whole shitload of automatic weapons that Frank buys, in a wet-dream gun lovers’ sequence—surely ten thousand dollars of cargo or more, practically none of which is actually used in the film.5 I would be very unsurprised to learn that Costner is a gun lover and has all of these items in his collection, weapons that he probably enjoys hefting and then throwing at his guests. What’s the matter, sissy boy? Can’t handle a piece?

For most of the rest of the film, Frank and Maney just drive around in their shiny new Lincoln, Frank raining contempt on all the punk kids in the FBI, the damn newspapers, and damn general public for making heroes out of a pair of murderous brats, while Maney has to take a leak every ten minutes. (Okay, that part’s funny.) At one point, Maney almost gets a shot at Clyde, but then he’s mobbed all these damn broads, like he’s a celebrity or something, before Maney can pull the trigger.

The film goes to absurd lengths to make Bonnie, who was not a very nice person, not merely a hardened criminal but, well, a sadistic, castrating bitch. At one point, Hamer “deduces”, from footprints at a crime scene, that Bonnie wounded a policeman, then rolled him over with her foot in order to force him to watch before she blew his brains out. But we are both told and shown that Bonnie is tiny (90 pounds) and walks with a limp.6 I’ll bet Kevin Costner couldn’t roll a 90-pound woman over with his foot, much less a 200-pound man. Women issues much, Kevin?

Finally, Frank gets a solid lead, beating the crap out of some punk to find out what Bonnie and Clyde are up to, because beating the crap out of people is pretty much the best solution to any law enforcement problem. He learns that the Barrow gang is headed to Louisiana to hole up with the father of one of the gang. Frank makes a deal with the father, as happened in real life and the Beatty film, arranging for an ambush. None of this fair play bullshit for him! He also insists that a young deputy come along with them to identify Clyde, setting up a ludicrous (and fraudulent) finale to teach the kid and the audience about “real life”—from real life actor Kevin Costner.

Naturally, the kid, being a kid, is a little squeamish about the prospect of seeing two people shot to pieces from ambush, so Maney has to explain the facts of life to the kid. (Many rather than Frank, because Frank is more or less a god, and gods don’t explain themselves. If they did, they’d lose caste.)

Maney tells the kid a story about when he was a young Texas Ranger. The Rangers have located a huge gang of Mexican desperados, but when they try to arrest them, announcing “Manos arribos” (or something like that, meaning “Hands up!”), well, instead of putting up their hands, the Mexicans start shooting. Day after day, it goes on like this, the Rangers losing a man or two every day until Frank shows up. No more “manos arribos”, motherfucker! We shoot first, and we shoot to kill! And that’s how it goes down, and Maney even blows away this innocent, unarmed, fifteen-year-old kid, who just wanted to escape, putting six slugs in the little fucker. Cause that’s what a man does! Adios, muchacho!

Uh, really? If a gang shoots a cop, the cops will come back time and time again, trying to arrest the gang peacefully? Really? They needed Frank Hamer to tell them they were doing it wrong? And, why, exactly, did Maney have to put six slugs in a non-combatant? Is this like one of those “Kill ‘em all, Let God sort ‘em out” tee-shirts you get at a gun show? In fact, of course, they didn’t need to have the kid come along in the first place. Maney knows what Clyde looks like, and was going to drop him earlier, if only he could have gotten a clean shot. The kid’s just a lazy plot device.

But the kicker comes when Frank, Maney, the kid, a couple of local police finally ambush Bonnie and Clyde, because it isn’t an ambush. Frank steps out in front of the car and gives the two a chance to surrender, just what Maney just told us ls what pussies do, and is why pussies never get the job done. Yeah, Kevin Costner wants to give us this hard-ass “moral”, that civilization depends on the occasional cold-blooded murder. But, at the same time, he wants the audience to like him. What a coward.

When I saw the 1998 Gus Van Sant shot for shot remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), I walked out of theater thinking “Now he should remake it again, except this time showing us everything that Hitchcock didn’t show us!” Dunno if it would work, but maybe. ↩︎

Tommy guns, with their drum magazines, though (I’ve read, though Wikipedia says different) they often did not work very well and were not often used, were a legendary symbol of gang violence. When I was a small boy, the conclusion of the visitor’s tour of the FBI was a demonstration of a tommy gun in a special shooting range in the basement, though I don’t know if FBI agents ever used one in a fire fight. In those days the FBI had a fairly low-key building across the street from the Department of the Interior, which a had very low-budget aquarium open to the public. You could see a guy shoot up a target with a tommy gun and then walk across the street and look at the two-headed turtle (for real). ↩︎

In my original review of B&C, I remarked that all of the cars Bonnie and Clyde steal are in sparkling condition, with gleaming chrome and, often, two-tone paint jobs—just what you wouldn’t find in East Texas during the Great Depression. Beatty starred in Splendor in the Grass (1961), featuring all the polished roadsters that director Elia Kazan didn’t get to drive while working his way through Williams College back in the day. Many film directors, ranging from Jean-Luc Godard to Steven Spielberg, compulsively feature in their films the cars they didn’t get to drive when they were young. ↩︎

In the thirties, every phone call was individually placed by an operator, who could listen in if she wanted to (all telephone operators were women), though of course they weren’t supposed to. Furthermore, in rural areas, if there were phones at all, houses were connected on “party lines”. Anyone on your line could listen to your call. ↩︎

If you’re wondering, Bonnie and Clyde were killed before the National Firearms Act of 1934 was signed into law, a law that, in any event, simply put a tax on automatic weapons, so that only respectable people could buy them. ↩︎

The real Bonnie Parker, by the time of the events in the film, could not walk unassisted, after suffering third-degree burns on her leg during an automobile accident. ↩︎

[kittymonks-fanfiction]

Genderswapped Nations Review - Chapter 3

Welcome back to Genderswapped Nations, the fanfic where kids can trip over couches, phase through locked doors, and get brainwashed by the British flag when they’re kidnapped and held hostage by a German extremist looking to get his ass kicked by his friends. Last time, we found out that the American girls who were kidnapped are going to be let loose into Europe if their ‘gender bends’ don’t come to Germany within a day to pick them up. Prussia, the kidnapper, still seems not to have a plan besides pissing everyone off and making himself less bored. Let’s see if we learn anything new about that plan in this chapter!

Chapter 3: Prudence and Planes

This chapter title is almost alright, but ‘Prudence’ is the name of a character we’ll be meeting later and isn’t in reference to the trait of prudence…which isn’t good, because this fic could use some more prudence. Seriously, what must’ve been going through twelve-year-old me’s head when I put all of those sexual assault jokes in the last chapter??

“You’re kidding!” Francisca claimed.

Oh yeah, the last chapter ended off with the countries showing up at Germany’s doorstep to get the girls. I wonder how long the gap in-between these chapters being uploaded was. I think it would be funny if Francisca, here replying to something Ariana said at the last chapter, took like a month to answer her. They just sat there for a month before Francisca gasped and cried, “You’re kidding!”

“I’m not kidding, they’re really here!” Ariana said. “If you don’t believe me, come see for yourselves!” All of the gender swaps followed Ariana into Francisca’s room, and let them look out the window.

They…let themselves look out the window?

“They really are here!” Felicity exclaimed.

“But they’re so much older than us,” Kierra said.

Just in case you forgot that these gender bends of adult nations are, in fact, human children for some reason.

“Right,” Allison said. “But they look exactly like us, besides that!”

Just then, another gender swap walked into Francisca’s room. The gender swap had a hat covering their hair, and was wearing sunglasses. “Who are you?” Kierra asked the new gender swap.

“I’m Prudence,” the new gender swap introduced.

Oh great, this is just what we needed; another character to add to the mix. The other girls have barely been developed yet! All we know is that Felicity, Allison, and Francisca are stupid, Alexis is shy, Iscah is weird, Louella is bossy, and Ariana’s a Mary-Sue. Every other trait the characters may have is just ‘implied’ because they’re gender bends of characters that should be well known to the intended audience of this fanfic.

Whose human name starts with ‘Pru’, though? Hm, I wonder…

“I don’t see your gender swap out there,” Louella said. “Maybe they didn’t care.”

Whoa shit!! That’s a crazy rude thing to say! What if Germany wasn’t there, Louella? Then what? What if that’s actually Prudence’s swap and not yours?

And apparently Louella can read the narration that called Prudence a gender bend because otherwise she’d have no reason to assume that Prudence is a gender bend.

“I actually have something to tell you about the men out there,” Prudence said.

“Hm?” Ariana asked.

“They aren’t the real nations. They’re different people dressed up as the countries.” Prudence said.

“You mean like Santa Claus?” Felicity asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Prudence responded.

And they just…buy this? These guys look exactly like the girls, but older and male. It would be different if the girls looked more like their canonical Nyotalia appearances, but like I keep saying, they just look like their counterparts with boobs and (occasionally) longer hair! What are the chances that there could be any other troupe of people that look exactly like them?

“That can’t be true!” Louella shouted. “They look exactly like they’re supposed to! They can’t be fake!” tears developed in her eyes. “They can’t be…”

“But they are,” Prudence said.

“No they aren’t! China even has a panda!” Yiesha stated.

That’s a terrible verb to use. It would have been more apt to use ‘objected’, ‘argued’, or even ‘exclaimed’ if you want to stretch it a bit (though admittedly that verb was used for something Felicity said earlier). ‘Stated’ makes it sound like she’s calmly giving Prudence this info, which she isn’t. It’s an observation in the form of an exclamation, not really a statement.

“Fake panda.” Prudence said.

“But who would do that? Bringing up the feelings of a little girl looking for her counterpart just for laughs… That’s cruel!” Francisca cried.

“I know.” Prudence said. “I suggest running away.”

“How would that solve anything?” Kierra asked.

“Yeah, and Prussia would come looking for us anyway.” Allison said.

“Believe me, he won’t.” Prudence said.

And responses like these just make it obvious that Prudence is a jerk who shouldn’t be trusted. Because yeah, if it wasn’t obvious, this girl is an antagonist…and a pretty crappy one at that.

“I agree with Prudence,” Alexis said. The other gender swaps, excluding Prudence, looked at her as if she was invisible until now.

She probably was, but that’s beside the point. Why does Alexis agree with what Prudence is saying? Prudence is saying that the guys down there are imposters, so they should break out as soon as possible—why that wasn’t the swaps’ plan from the start, I don’t know—and leave. That was Prussia’s plan! All evidence points to him wanting these girls to be let out into the wild to fend for themselves so he can dick with everyone and Alexis is the only one who knows this, so why is she so apt to go along with what Prudence is saying? If anything, the others should be agreeing to leave and Alexis should be the speaker of the Cassandra Truth she never told everyone—that being that Prussia wants them to leave and this wears-sunglasses-inside-and-wears-a-cap-to-cover-their-hair weirdo is probably on his side if she’s pursuing the same outcome!

“If the real countries didn’t want to come see us themselves, then they must not care very much. And I know how that feels far too well. And anyway, I bet our gender swaps are only interested in us so they can make us into their slaves.”

In that aspect I can see what she means—she doesn’t want to get taken by a bunch of random men after being kidnapped because they could be child traffickers—but what does claiming the countries are fakes have to do with that? You can have Alexis say that they should escape on the grounds that these strange men could be dangerous, but don’t word it like “We shouldn’t go with them because they didn’t care enough to come themselves which means that we won’t be happy with them”. That’s what’s written there and that doesn’t make sense. It would have been much easier to claim that the men were dangerous…but as you’ll see later, there’s a reason why that explanation wasn’t used.

The girls looked at Alexis, astonished, until Louella spoke up. “Yes, Canadia’s right.

Do I need a counter specifically counting all of the times that Canada has been mistakenly called ‘Canadia’? It’s happened at least once a chapter now and it’s quickly getting old.

-ALEXIS ABUSE +1

If they didn’t care enough to get us in person, than we can just leave. They’ll have to deal with it, for not coming in person.”

This becomes comical later when we find out what their next plan after escaping is. Just wait, it’s really great.

Some of the gender swaps started saying negative things about the plan, before Louella said, “It’s decided! We’re doing it. We still have fifteen minutes for conversation, and during conversation, the doors are unlocked.”

Well Jesus Christ, now Louella is kidnapping a bunch of girls against their will!

“We could leave using the window in my room,” Allison suggested. “It’s at the very back of the house, so those fakes wouldn’t see us!”

“Sounds like a plan,” Kierra said. “And I like it.”

“So, let’s go!” Allison exclaimed. “I’ll tie together all of our bedsheets, and we’ll climb down!”

But…I guess apparently Allison and Kierra are pretty submissive? Either that or, somehow, the possible smartest person in the group thought this was a good idea from the start (Kierra, I mean). I can see Allison wanting to bust open a window and run off without thinking much about a plan, but not Kierra.

Ariana looked to Prudence. “Prudence, are you coming?” she asked.

“No,” Prudence said. “My gender swap called me personally and told me he’d meet me here in person.”

“Who is your gender swap?” Francisca asked.

“That’s not important, plus you’ve only got ten minutes now!” Prudence said, grabbing Francisca’s bedsheet and tossing it to Allison. “So gather the other bedsheets and get moving!”

And…Nobody finds this suspicious? Shouldn’t they be questioning where Prudence got a phone from if she was kidnapped as well? Not to mention how eager she is to brush her counterpart’s identity under the rug! Seriously, has no one caught on to this shitty hat-and-glasses disguise yet?

The other gender swaps nodded, and they all got their bedsheets and gathered in Allison’s room, where Allison tied together the bedsheets and rolled the makeshift rope out of the window after tying one end to her bedpost. “Let’s go,” Allison said. With that, the gender swaps one by one climbed out the window, with a firm grasp on the bedsheet rope. Prudence stood in Allison’s room and watched the other gender swaps go. She smirked.

Oh big shocker, Prudence was evil the whole time. But I really question why they didn’t do this in the first place if it was an option. If they had just done this and went to the police before being brainwashed, all of the upcoming nonsense could easily have been avoided.

The nations, who were in fact real,

I find it hilarious beyond words that past me felt the need to remind the reader unless they, too, were convinced by Prudence’s masterful ability to lie.

stood at Prussia’s door until the red-eyed nation opened the door. “Hello,” Prussia greeted.

“Where are our gender swaps?” Germany immediately questioned.

“Patience, patience. I’ll get them.” Prussia said, closing the door.

“Wow I need to grab some Adderall off of the shelf for you West, you clearly need a chill pill”

“I hope we came soon enough,” France said.

“Yeah. I can only imagine a girl me getting caught by another country,” America said.

Well yeah, no shit, you can only imagine that because you don’t have any idea what this girl looks like or if she even exists. This line just annoys me.

Prussia opened the door again, and the nations were surprised to see he didn’t have anyone with him. “They aren’t here anymore.” He said.

Germany questioned, “What did you do to them?”

“Me? I didn’t do a thing to those girls.” Prussia said, trying to sound innocent.

“We know you’re lying, dude,” America said.

But…why would Prussia try to make himself sound suspicious if he didn’t actually do anything to them? He could just say ‘Oh shit they escaped!!!’ and cause the same response minus the ‘everyone wants to punch him now’ side effect.

“I’m serious! Come look,” Prussia said, opening the door so the countries could come in. Prussia led the countries to the living room that the girls used, and showed them each room was empty. But the nations couldn’t make out where all the bedsheets had gone, until Germany found them tied together and hanging out Allison’s window.

“See, I told you so,” Prussia said. “They left on their own.”

You didn’t tell them shit dude, you just said ‘they aren’t here anymore’ and then acted needlessly shifty just to piss them off.

“Well, then, we have to find them!” England said.

“Go ahead,” Prussia said. The nations climbed down the bedsheets one by one, and couldn’t see their gender swaps anywhere.

The situation is so dire that the nations couldn’t possibly go downstairs and use the front door like normal people!!

“Come on, they could’ve gotten far by now!” Germany said. The nations followed him as he ran away.

And it’s just…really funny seeing the opposite of ‘they couldn’t have gotten far’ used here. “WATCH OUT MEN, THEY’RE LITTLE GIRLS. GOD KNOWS HOW FAR THEY’VE GOTTEN ON THEIR LITTLE GIRL LEGS.”

Prudence walked up behind Prussia as they left. “How’d I do?” Prudence asked, taking her hat and sunglasses off to reveal long white hair and red eyes.

“Better than I thought you’d do.” Prussia said.

That reveal is completely pointless considering how obvious it is that Prudence is Prussia’s gender swap. She was the only person in the building besides him that wanted the girls to wander off into the wilderness, she hid her appearance from the start, and she was acting suspicious when it would have been easy not to be. And it already included her smirking after they left! With that reveal, it’s just redundant to reveal again that she’s a bad guy.

And now that I can finally mention it, how come Prudence’s name comes from Prussia’s country name rather than his human name? The only other person to suffer from a name that doesn’t make sense in this context is Alexis, but even then hers is just supposed to be similar to Allison. Her name should be Gillian or something, a name that could actually come from Gilbert.

Meanwhile, the gender swaps had already made it to the airport the nations had gotten there from.

I guess I did say that it was relatively close, but I’m sure that grown men who know the terrain would be able to catch up to a bunch of lost teenage girls way before they’d be able to, oh, I don’t know, get on a plane to America and escape home or something.

“How much money does everyone have?” Louella asked. Ariana whipped out ten dollars, Allison pulled out two, claiming ‘I used the rest of it’,

I thought that joke was a big ‘TAKE THAT’ back in the day because the U.S. is in debt, but so are a bunch of other countries so ehh. It’s a big one, sure, but that’s not even a good way to tell that joke. It would be a lot more topical if Allison had money but Yiesha demanded to have it since she loaned Allison ten bucks to buy food earlier.

all of the other gender swaps brought out fives and tens, but Iscah pulled out fifty dollars. After no one wanted to question how Iscah had gotten fifty dollars,

That had better damn well not be a joke about prostitution. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. I mean, it could have always been obtained by means of larceny or extortion (from Allison?) but it wasn’t said so I can’t label it as innocent right away.

they pooled their money together and found they had just enough money to send each of them to their respective countries

Not only does this prove that they’re GOING TO THEIR COUNTERPARTS’ COUNTRIES OF ORIGIN in order to avoid them, it’s also stupid because they have, what, $100 USD between them and they’re able to afford nine plane tickets in Germany? This has to take place in the past because that’s impossible.

(Except Alexis, who had to ride with Allison and take a bus to Canada)

Oh great, you just had to add that extra potshot.

-ALEXIS ABUSE +1

Ariana walked to her plane, the remaining countries who’s planes were not yet departing (Louella, Felicity, and Kierra) waving to her.

Where is Louella flying? Is she just going to board a plane in Berlin…in order to fly to Berlin again and back to the building she just escaped from??

“Bye,” Ariana said was she boarded the plane. She sat in a seat,

As opposed to…a geometric cube?

and nobody was sitting beside her. She looked out a window to see Germany and the other nations not far from the airport. “Those fakes probably just want to take us back so they don’t get in trouble,” Ariana thought, as the plane took off.

Yeah, they want to take us back, so instead, we’ll take ourselves back! Take that?

The nations finally made it to the airport, and Louella, Kierra, and Felicity were already gone.

“They’re gone!” Italy said.

“They probably assumed we wouldn’t be coming, and just flew to our countries to see us.” Germany said.

Is this some kind of Twilight Zone story? In what universe would that be the first assumption that everyone jumps to??

“The gender swaps should have waited a little longer, and then they’d be able to meet us,” France said.

“I bet it was America’s gender swap. She probably said, ‘If they aren’t coming to us, we’ll go to them!'” England said.

“No, it must have been yours, England! She must have said, ‘If those bloody countries won’t come to see us, then we’ll go see them!'” America said.

Orrrr they just left because they were kidnapped children and wanted to go home??

Then all of the countries were blaming each other’s gender swaps for coming up with the idea to leave, until Germany said, “What about Prussia’s? Maybe she tricked them into thinking we wouldn’t come!”

“Yeah, it was probably Prussia’s gender swap!” America said.

But who said that he has one?? You didn’t see one there and you assume that Prussia would mention something like that, so why does Germany magically know exactly what’s going on?

“Well, if they’re already on planes, then we need to buy tickets now!” China said.

“Agreed,” Japan said. So each of the countries bought tickets and got in planes to their separate countries.

They’re going to kill the ozone layer with all of these plane rides. They’re just lucky that, in the minutes after the that planes all left coincidentally at the same time to go exactly where all of the swaps (minus Alexis) needed to go had already taken off, there were more planes lying in wait for them.

Well, there’s another chapter of Genderswapped Nations out of the way. Next time you can come back to expect Ice Town times nine, the emergence of Plastic Man’s gender swap, and some of the worst terroristic threats you’ve ever heard in your life.

(CANADA/ALEXIS ABUSE COUNTER=5)

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

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A 2001 Audi TT, Turbo I think. It would be for a 16-17 year old. Kept in the drive way or a locked garage. I think the car itself is about $6,000 without tax. Dont tell me abunch of stuff like all these statistics and stuff like depending on .... I just want your personal opinoin/rough estimate how much it would be per year or month. I would probably be the occasional driver, and my dad would probably be the primary driver, even though Id drive it more often. Just give me a rough estimate in your opinoin.""

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I need to find car insurance rates to compare, but I can't find a site that lets me do a comparison and get results on the internet. I don't want to give them my phone number and email because I know I'll be spammed to death by people trying to sell me something. Is there anywhere I can go to get comparison rates for free without having to put in contact information like that?""

How much would car insurance cost me as a teenager?

Now i heard that the insurance is riduclous for teenagers these days. Im planning to buy a mazda sportscar worth around $25000. around how much should I be ready to pay for my car insurance a year... btw the insurance must be SUPERIOR insurance meanin the best insurance .

""How do you purchase a car without insurance, and how do you get insuracnce with out a car?""

I left my insurace expire, and noe I need to get insurance, but I don't know what car i'm going to get, so which comes first, the insurance or the car?""

What's the average progressive quotes for a young driver between 18 to 24?

What's the average progressive quotes for a young driver between 18 to 24?

How can i get cheap car insurance in the UK?

hey people, i have tried getting cheap car insurance for a while n i have had no joy. the cheapest i have got it is about 2,897 that is ridiculas for a 18 year old male at college who hasn't got a penny spear! i got a car givin to me a 1998 ford fiesta 1.25 zetec and i need help pritty bad. please help me!!!!!!!!!!""

Low Cost Health Insurance?

I am contemplating quitting my job and going full time to school so that I can have a fresh start with a new career. It would be fine if it was just me, but I have 2 kids and I am single. With school I would work about 40 hours/week doing clinicals at the hospital plus my school work, so I wouldn't be able to work as well. I know I could get state assistance with medical but I did that before and it was the absolute worst healthcare I've ever experienced. They treated us like we were scum. I want my kids to be well taken care of for the few semesters that I would be out of work. I will be getting all of the student loans that I can to pay for basic expenses and hopefully some sort of sliding scale healthcare...Any ideas?""

""I have medicaid for my baby,how long can I have it for?

My daughter is covered under medicaid. She can't get insurance because she has a pre consisting condition. I am wondering how long I can have medicaid for? Is it wrong for me to ...show more

Do you get health insurance as a Burger King crew member?

do you get health insurance as a BK team member if so, what type? Also what is covered and what is the monthly cost? Thanks""

Gap insurance on salvaged vehicle?

I recently bought a salvaged 2006 Honda Civic Ex for $10,800. The only damage that this car received was the airbag was blown during an accident. But it was replaced ever since. How will gap insurance work for this salvaged car?""

Steps to getting your life insurance license in CA?

I have no previous experience with Life Insurance and am considering getting my life insurance license. What are the steps involved, how long does it take, how much does it cost, and how difficult is the test? Anyone help?""

Where can I get liability insurance for my dog?

I'm working at a pet boutique and I can bring my dog to work -- but my boss is asking that I should get liability insurance for him. He's a mini labradoodle. I already have him covered in my renters insurance - but I don't think that it will cover him for work. Where can I get one??

Driver license test without insurance?

Im 18 and have not taken drivers ed I was wondering if I could take the drivers test without insurance and then if I pass get insurance then recive my driver license once I get insurance.

Am I still on my parents' insurance now that I'm a part-time student?

I was wondering if I am still eligible for insurance (Blue Cross Blue Shield of Mississippi) even though I am a part-time student? I had forgot about that before I made my schedule and it's too late to add classes, but I take prescription medications and I really need insurance! I ask this because my step-father asked for confirmation that I'm a full-time student (I guess he didn't know I was only part time) and I was like..I'm not full-time anymore! I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. How convenient. I researched online and apparently under the Affordable Care Act I am still eligible. But if I'm still eligible, why is BCBS still asking for confirmation? I looked at the BCBS of Mississippi site but I couldn't find anything. I'm so confused and I cannot afford to lose this insurance! Thanks for any help guys..""

Car insurance helP?

I am going to turn 18 in february and am used to paying for my own stuff since i was 14.... i would like an estimate of monthly car insurance.. i'm a good student... and cost of registration and how often to I have to get it inspected? Any help would be appreciated

Where can I find affordable family health insurance?

Looking to find several health company quotes.

Car insurance in texas?

how much does it cost??? i hav a project where i have to buy car insurance for a Mercedes Benz 2010 C300 Sport Sedan??

Average cost for house insurance for a trailer? (VA)?

My husband and I have been renting for years and are looking to purchase a single-wide trailer as a starter home. We're looking at 2009 models under $50,000. I've googled myself to death and can't find an idea of what our monthly insurance cost would be. Just a rough estimate would be nice, so we can continue with our budgeting. Thank you!""

Cheapest full-coverage Insurance Company?

I am trying to narrow down my options for Automobile insurance and find the best for my money... I am a high risk so State farm wouldn't accept me after I carelessly let my insurance policy cancel. I have been quoted 189.00 a month from Al Boenker Insurance and I am really not wanting to have to pay that much.... But any suggestions would definitely help! Thank you!

Why does registration for a newer car cost more than an older?

Registering my 2011 vehicle in California costs 2.5 times ($249) more than my '94 vehicle ($99). I understand with auto insurance there's a premium to insure the newer vehicle because it is valued more, and if I get into an accident, it would cost the insurance company more for repairs/replacement for the newer vehicle. I can't imagine an accident with either car would cost the gov't any differently, so why is there an age discrimination being applied here? I have a feeling this is some BS fee. Am I right, or can someone please clarify.""

Can car insurance companies discover speed camera tickets?

Long story short: Do I need to tell the car insurance companies about speed camera tickets I received? I read that lying to car insurance companies is a good way to get your insurance canceled, or claim denied. I know that they check what you say on the application. If these were regular speeding tickets, I would have no question that they need to be reported, because it's on my record. But these are from a speed camera. The citation says it cannot be used to increase my car insurance rates, and that it will not add points to my record. All my friends say they don't report it. Despite that, Travelers said these do count, and denied providing a quote because I have had three speed camera tickets in the past three years. Is this information even present on my driver's record? Is this something they can verify? More importantly, could they deny a claim I make for failing to tell them about these tickets?""

What is the best insurance companies in NYC?

What is the best insurance companies in NYC?

How can I get dental and medical insurance?

I turned 18 back in 2011 and now I'm not on my mom's dental or medical insurance. How do I get dental and medical coverage?

""Insurance says case is closed, is it really?""

A little over a year ago, I was in a car wreck and due to financial responsibility laws I had to pay for the accident. (I had no insurance, of course, I've learned this lesson) Recently they've filed suit against me for more money that they didn't receive from the insurance company. I can't afford an attorney and was about to hire a bankruptcy lawyer for all of this, but I recently found out from the insurance company that the case is closed. It's also been over a year as of a couple days ago and due to Tennessee's Statute of Limitations they can't claim any more money. So my question, the insurance company says it's closed and even said the attorney settling with them has closed the case. I call the opposing attorney myself and of course they say they can't discuss the case with me, even though I'm just asking if the case still actually exists. They wont' give me a court date either so naturally, I'm a bit suspicious. Should I be ready to put this behind me, or do law offices do this sort of thing all the time? They were recently paid out $10,000 from the insurance company I'm making payments to. I really don't see where else they could find money given my situation. All answers are appreciated, thank you!""

search multiple auto insurance quotes

search multiple auto insurance quotes

Questions about insurance in NJ?

I just got my probationary license in NJ, and have a couple of questions about insurance. My parents have put me on their insurance plan and today i was given two POI cards-- one for each of their cars. Now, the problem is that I mostly plan to drive my grandmother's car. She lives with us and is getting to the point where she does not drive much anymore. She was told by her insurance company that i do not have to be put on her plan because we live in the same house, but i'm just curious how i would go about proving that i am insured if i ever got into an accident in her car. Can i just hold on to a copy of my POI from one of my parent's two card (in my wallet) to show a police officer, or do I need something specifically for that car? Thank you for the help :)""

Is globe life a reliable insurance company?

for life insurance

Reviews on best insurance company to work for?

thinking of working as agent for insurance company. Which company has best reviews to work for?

Im looking for cheap or reasonalby priced auto insurance...can anyone give me any tips???

this is my first car and i need full coverage...somebody help me please!

Car Accident and Insurance?

On 7/24 I was at a Dairy Queen drive thru the person behind me hit the truck I was driving. I was looking at her in the rear view mirror the entire time. She had a cigarette hanging from her mouth that was unlit and she eventually backed up after hitting me. I got out of the truck and looked and I did not see any damage. She then said I didn't move you hit me I then told her No I did not hit you I am in front of you and this truck was never in reverse. Since there was no damage to the truck I did not bother getting any of her information since it was not my fault. On 7/27 I got a call from the police saying she told them I hit her. I gave them my side of the story and they said she had a witness who was a passenger in her car and they will be in touch. I also let them know I had a witness as well. The cop called me back yesterday and wanted to get my insurance information so her and I could exchange information. My question is do I have to give my insurance information to this cop? I did not hit this woman and I think she is trying to get one over on the insurance company. The cop said yesterday I'm surprised the truck does not have any damage because her car does have damage. This truck was a rental truck which was inspected at the time it was dropped back off at the rental company obviously there was no damage to it. This woman looked like she was on something to begin with and I'm guessing she was not paying attention probably looking for a lighter and let off the break and hit me. Which I still don't see how her car would be so damaged. I don't want this con artist having my information. So should I tell the cop I am not giving him my insurance information and tell her to take it to court? Should I get a lawyer? I'm not sure what to do I am 29 years old and I have never been in a accident so I am not sure how to go about this but I know this woman is trying to pull a fast one and I am not going to sit back and let it happen.

Does anyone know where a couple in their early 60's might find affordable insurance.?

We had really great insurance but, it went up from a little less than $600.00 to over $1000.00. We cannot afford that.""

Does motorbike insurance after a while make your car insurance cheaper?

I'm getting a motorbike nd plan on having one for about 4 years and then get a car later. I'm just wondering if it will make my car insurance any cheaper later on? WILL RATE BEST AND MOST HELPFUL ANSWER, THANKS!""

""What is the penalty for driving without insurance on a motorbike, as i feel it was a genuine oversight?""

I was stopped because of a broken rear light and as it happens my insurance had expired about 4 days before. I wasn't aware that the insurance expired , i thought it was at the end of the month. I didn't receive any reminder because i had forgotten to change address with the insurance company, which was completely my fault. This is a genuine oversight on my part, but I'm not sure if they'll look at previous incident i had with my cousins car when i was a teenager about 7 years ago, i got caught driving without insurance. Probably one of the stupidest things i have done but i learned from it, but the court may not look at it like that. Should i get a solicitor and does anyone know how much they cost? Will i be suspended from driving?""

Cheapest auto insurance?

What is the cheapest auto insurance from personal experience, Please and thank you!!""

Moped insurance (Ireland)??

how much would insurance cost for a 16 year old in Dublin with a provisional licence on a yamaha aerox 50cc in ireland?

Can I stay on my parent's car insurance at age 25?

I will be turning 25 in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if insurance companies let you stay on your parents car insurance at that age. I moved back home about 2 years ago to finish my degree so I live under the same roof. My parent's car insurance is state farm.

How much insurance is it for a 16 year old boy in alberta?

just planning to buy a 1996 car any ideas?

Whats cheaper honda or toyota insurance?

honda civic or toyota corolla

""Motorcycle insurance, big problem?""

Ok, so ive been riding a motorcycle for more than a year now. and ive had my eye on a 2009 ninja zx-6r. so i asked a guy from state farm what full coverage would be and he told me around 1000. which is really good. so i bought the bike and went back to him. turns out it will actually be around 4000-5000. WTF. is there anything i can do? or am i just s.o.l.?""

How do you know if you qualify for Medicaid?

How much do you have to make be eligible for your baby to be placed in the Medicaid Insurance when born? And, is it easy to get or is there usually a long wait or anything? Thanks :)""

I just got some insurance quotes ?

I just went on the internet and got some insurance quotes for some cars i am 18 years old and they are trying to charge me 10 grand to insure a 03 plate corsa is this right or am i doing something wrong here

On average how much does it cost a year to drive for a 20yr old in UK?

I'm planning to start driving (im already learning)but I have big plans I want to carry out and been told I won't e able to if I start driving I spend about 120 a month on bus fair already but how much would driving cost? Would it make any difference on insurance if I waited till I was 21?

Does AAA offer short term car insurance?

I just got my license but will be moving down to San Diego in a week to start college. My parents don't want to start me on a long term insurance plan as I won't be using their cars much so it's a waste of money. I was wondering if there is a short term insurance plan that is cheaper as it would be very convenient to drive this week instead of taking busses.

Car Insurance Quotes?

Need help with some insurance quotes. Looking to pay cash for a car maybe a 2001 impala, 2000 honda accord, 2001 toyota camry. Need a couple of estimates on how much insurance would be. Driver is over 25, clean driving record, female driver. Lives in Florida. Thanks""

What do compulsory and voluntary excess mean in car insurance?

The one I am looking at is 0 compulsory excess and 150 voluntary. Is it better for both to be lower? I don't know what it means. Please explain before I buy. Thanls

Is insurance higher for a Grand Prix gt coupe?

In a couple of days I am going to be getting my license and on craigslist their is a Grand Prix gt coupe but my mom doesn't really want me to get it because she says the insurance is going to be high because it is considered a sports car is that true?

After getting health insurance how long to wait before getting pregnant?

My husband and I have been married a little over a year now and we are trying to find a good health insurance plan for the two of us to be on. We would like to start a family as soon as we can, but I have been told not to tell insurance companies that because they will not cover us. I am wondering how long after we get insurance do we have to wait before we start trying to have a baby. I am also wondering if anyone knows of any good insurance companies for young couples looking to start a family. Thank you.""

""Hi all, does any 1 no where i can get multiple car insurance quotes instead of searching 1 by 1?""

i would like 2 enter my details and have multiple companies offering insurance, instead of doing it 1 by 1 does any 1 no where i can search for multiple insurance quotes thanx all""

What's the average cost of life insurance? -per month?

What's the average cost of life insurance? -per month?

What is the best website to reseach and compare auto insurance quotes?

What is a good website to use when researching auto insurance. One where I can get numerous rates from various insurers and compare them with each other?

search multiple auto insurance quotes

search multiple auto insurance quotes

Insurance company for getting car out of compound?

I have full licence but need to get insurance company to cover to get car out of police compound

Why are my car insurance quotes changing?

I shopped for car insurance yesterday. Today I could not remember if I I forgot a company, so I did them all again because I was bored, all of my quotes went up with some, went down with others. I double checked and I didn't change any info. So I did 3 companies within 10 minutes of each other, and they changed again! I think they pull quotes out of a hat.""

No car insurance automatically suspends CA driver's license?

So apparently in CA, if you stop paying your car insurance (I had to), your vehicle registration is revoked and your license is suspended automatically, and you get a notice in the ...show more""

What are the requirements for free health care in California?

My grandmother is from Malaysia and she is living with us in California (since November 2007). She has a green card. Her health has been deteriorating and she's been getting these terrible headaches. I really want to take her to see a doctor, but the price would be astronomical without health insurance. Is she eligible for medicare/medicaid/medical? If not, what are some other options? I'm sorry if I sound ignorant or uneducated about this, but honestly, I really don't know anything about this. Any help I can get is very much appreciated.""

How much would car insurance be monthly for a 2007 CLK350 Cabriolet?

for a 16 year old?

Insurance for new driver?

I'm 20 and just got my license. I don't really know much information about car insurance. I live with my parents and I use their cars. But in a couple of months, my older brother is sending his car to me, since he can't take it to Japan. Can I drive my parent's cars without myself being insured and use my parent's insurance? or Does my name need to be underneath theirs?""

Does applying for life insurance require a social security number?

I'm applying for life insurance and the insurance forms ask for a social security number. Does the insurance company really need my social security number to process the application?

""In the state of New Jersey,how long does it take to get caught driving with no car insurance?""

My insurance lapse a month ago today.I am waiting on my workers comp settlement from a job related injury.Is there a way that cops can detect that my insurance has lapsed other than an accident?I have and legit insurance card till June,and registration.Can they suspend my registration?if so is there a warning?I will try to stay off the road till next month but i need to make my Dr.appointments etc.""

Who pays the car insurance?

The registered owner or the title owner me??

18 year old male trying to find the cheapest auto insurance in NY?

im trying to get it in my own name for the lowest price possible. but i really need help because i have quite the record. i dont need collision or comprehension coverage.... and i want state minimum bodily injury. i dont care what insurance or anything, just as long as i can slap a registration sticker in my window then i am happy. any help/advice is greatly appreciated. thank you""

""My homeowners insurance dropped me, what am I going to do?""

I had two claims in two years. They won't renew, my policy has expired and I can't find anyone that will cover me. Anyone sell insurance? I had a claim last summer when a limb fell through my camper. The insurance paid out $500. October 2007 I had a pipe burst in my foundation they had to pay out $22,000 that time. Right now I'm uninsured and nervous.""

""When people turn 25, should they just kill themselves?""

College is over, you're no longer young and you have to worry about decreasing in health, plus you get taken off your parents health insurance (if you went to college) because society expects you to be paying for it by working now for the rest of your life. You no longer can be immature. Marriage starts to happen, and then kids...blah 100 other reasons more, etc. Source: 17 Year Old, (18 in April) Senior in High School""

Is it illegel for a health insurance company to refuse to sell health insurance?

My wife is 35th week pregnant and she needs health insurance by september 1st. There are a number of insurance company decline her application. Is this ok by law?

Health Insurance?

Does anyone know of a good resource for obtaining cheap health insurance and information?

Can i get new york insurance while maintaining a florida tag?

Can I get new York insurance while maintaining a Florida license plate?

How much do you think my auto insurance will be?

I live in Massachusetts, I'm 19 and have had my license for exactly a year. I'm a female (I don't know if that matters) The car I want to insure is a 95 Oldsmobile Achieva. Rough estimate please? My mom is saying I have to pay like $400 every three weeks for ten months. Doesn't that seem like a little much?""

Who has the best dental insurance?

i need private personal good coverage in colorado

Affordable Private Health Insurance Provider Needed?

Could somebody tell me any company for affordable private health insurance.I need good site.And free quotes and many benefits.Please be honest.

Being kicked off my parents health insurance plan at age 19? I don't know how I can afford insurance?

MY parents have been getting notices from their insurance company telling them that when I turn 19, I'll be off the insurance plan. It's because my dad has young ...show more""

Why is my insurance going up?

It is 189 a month now, but in January it's going up to over 400. Is this part of the affordable care act?""

Someone borrowed my truck and a gate fell on the side. Does his insurance pay or mine?

Why should MY rates go up? His insurance is telling him the coverage goes with the VEHICLE, not the driver.""

GTP vs Camaro Insurance?

Hey guys, Looking at a 95 Z28 Lt1 Camaro or a 01 Pontiac GTP, Which one would have the cheapest insurance? If you own one what are you paying?""

Does anyone know of Grange Insurance Company?

My insurance agent recommends that I switch to Grange because they will give me a much lower rate than what I currently have, with the exact same auto insurance coverage. But, I have never heard of this company.""

What does auto liability insurance cover?

I'm confused. I have a cheap car (read: old, not worth $1,000, beat up) that I need insurance on. I'm not worried about paying for my car to get fixed if damaged. However, I have a problem with scraping people's car. For example, I drove my car out of a parking lot and nearly bumped into another one, leaving maybe a scratch or dent. Would liability insurance cover that? Does it help pay for the OTHER car? 'Cause truth be told, my car's not worth paying insurance for ha ha. VA's minimum is the 25/50/25, so that's my insurance policy.""

Anyone has kaiser permanante as health insurance?

What do you think of KP? Anyone has any bad experiences there? I am thinking of getting health insurance there. Thanks!

search multiple auto insurance quotes

search multiple auto insurance quotes

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-insurance-lawrence-mass-zoe-haley/"

[decadenttimetravelmentality-blog]

Where can i find a cheap car insurance?

"Where can i find a cheap car insurance?

i live in UK from 2011 and i am self employed. i have a very cheap vauxhall and i pay nearly 2000 a year on car insurance. i want to have a second car to be clean and for social use only but i will need to pay an extra 1000 per year. i am 27 years old and have 5 years EU driven licence. can you advise me in any way?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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My 29 year old brother has been living at my place for a few months. He's still covered by my parents car insurance in another state, but I wonder if I have to put him on my policy since he practically lives with me. He only drives one of my cars occasionally. His living with us should be temporary (hopefully no more than few more months)""

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My car has recently been declared an insurance write off, basically a young guy (17) pulled out of a side road T-Bone ing me, causing me to be pushed into a tree, all the under body of my car was twisted and it would cost more to repair than the car is worth. The problem is my car isn't worth anything ( Peugeot 206). Someone is going to phone me tomorrow to discuss a settlement figure, I'd like 2k, (I paid 4k) 2.5 years ago for it. How much am I likely to get as an insurance write off, bearing in mind the other driver had admitted full liability and blame. It was a 2005 Peugeot 206 with 70k miles, one previous owner with a recent mot ( 2 weeks ago) also I've just paid for 12 months tax ( last month) can I reclaim this somehow? Thank You As for the other driver. I spoke to the police office who attended the scene and he went to his house yesterday to interview him, apparently he can do him for dangerous driving and give him points, as he was 17 I bet he will get caned on his insurance renewal, which is some comfort I guess :)""

Affordable health insurance in florida?

im 17, will be 18 in november, and i need to find health insurance. i need it to cover dental (orthodontics), prescriptions, and mental health services (depression, bipolar disorder). i am a non smoker, and i have no kids. please help!!!""

Does sprint phone insurance cover a cracked iPhone 5c screen?

Help! My Daughter dropped my new iPhone 5c and the screen totally shattered!! Is this covered??

Health Insurance Not Taken Out from Check?

I got an extra 84 bucks in my check bc they didn't take out for health insurance? Was this just a mistake?

""Insurance question, anyone know?""

I had insurance that didnt cover my pregnancy, if I get new insurance will they cover my pregnancy? Or not cuz im already pregnant....""

Who gets cheaper insurance guys or girls?

Who gets cheaper insurance guys or girls?

How can I get back on my mom's health insurance/Medicaid?

My mother is on Medicaid and I got kicked off her insurance at 19, I am now 21. I'm in college full time and I have a job. Why wont they keep on it? I'm stuck paying for my own insurance but every other young adult is on their parents insurance until their 26. Is it because she has Medicaid not regular insurance? If yes, why?""

What is the best Healthcare Insurance for small business owners in Colorado?

I'm starting a new job in Jan and I will be 1099 - I need any suggestions from anyone currently paying their ownHealth Insurance and what is a good company to go with. Many Thanks!

Can car insurance cost more if you are a different race?

So I'm watching a judge show right now and the guy was like I didn't put the insurance in my name because I'm a black male, so it would be more. I put it in her name because she is a black female. What does race have to do with anything in the statement? Is it true that insurance is more if you are a different race?""

What kind of insurance do I need?

I provide training workshops for colleges and the school I am currently doing work for asked me to send them a certificate of insurance. They said, they need this in order to process a purchase order. What kind of insurance do I need? I've never had to do this before? Is it general liability insurance? And generally, how much does it cost?""

Instead of buying auto insurance is there a way to just have a savings account just for $coverages?

So all US states require all cars on the road to have insurance ... since insurance is just dollars put asside for release in the event of emergencies or other pre-determined event ... why cant I just put $100,000 into a bank account and call it my auto liability account and have my car insured with the state under my name providing that I don't touch those funds?""

First car - Cheap insurance?

NOT a tiny one, such as a corsa, fiesta, polo or golf. I'm looking to pay between xx- 2000. I'd like something sort of saloony, in black. I WAS looking at a Hyundai Coupe. So something like that if possible. I do choose best answers!""

How old do you have to be to get car insurance?

what are the requirements to obtain car insurance in california do you need to be 18 and older??

""1993 Integra 2dr LS, automatic High Insurance COST?""

Hi, So i am debating with my family whether or not if the 1993 Integra 2 dr AUTO is considered a sport car? Usually, most sport card has HIGH INSURANCE. Our Insurance company is Wawanesa, and i can NOT get a hold of them at the moment. MY QUESTION IS; is a 93 integra 2dr insurance cost HIGHER than a 95 integra 4dr? or are they about the same cost?""

""I totaled my car and it was my fault, how much will i get from my insurance company, please help??

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Do I really need auto insurance in Miami Florida?

Auto insurance is really expensive, do I really need it? I live in Miami, Florida and prices on auto insurance are through the roof. Can I get in any really serious trouble if I drive without auto insurance for a while until I can actually afford it.""

Why can't Obama's affordable health act function without coercing people to pay a fine or buy insurance?

Why can't Obama's affordable health act function without coercing people to pay a fine or buy insurance?

Where can I find affordable health insurance?

Where can I find affordable health insurance without a deductible that makes it pointless to have insurance? We live in Nampa Idaho. We are on a tight budget but I can probably make room for a couple hundred dollars. I would need family coverage for myself, husband and 2 year old daughter. I have tried looking around online and all of the insurance plans are about $400+ a month and still have a deductible of $2500+ per person. I have looked into welfare and their income limit is $317 a month, and they have no options for paying a monthly premium for people that can't afford the other plans. I just wanted to see if anybody had any recommendations for something that might be a little affordable. We have chronic health conditions so we do tend to use a lot of medical services.""

Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

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What is the best type of renters insurance available in California?

I want to get renters insurance in California, any good affordable ones available? I noticed nationwide and statefarm are not available here. I am using Geico for car insurance. TIA!""

What should my car insurance cost?

I am a 21 year old female, do not have any citations on record, and I drive a 2007 ford focus. What should my monthly insurance payment be around???""

Where can i find a cheap car insurance?

i live in UK from 2011 and i am self employed. i have a very cheap vauxhall and i pay nearly 2000 a year on car insurance. i want to have a second car to be clean and for social use only but i will need to pay an extra 1000 per year. i am 27 years old and have 5 years EU driven licence. can you advise me in any way?

My mums taking out insurance but i want to be added as a driver.?

well i have recently passed and my mum is taking out insurance on a car but i will be added as a driver, now when i went to get a quote i was told that they cannot do this due to reasons of me only doing it to get cheaper car insurance, he also said that this could get me points on my license??? is this true ?""

Car rental insurance? do i need it?

I will be paying with my credit card. I have insurance on my car, but only the basic liability nothing else. Should i buy the insurance the rental agency offers? what happens if i have an accident. Thanks for your response""

How can i lower my car insurance?

how can i lower my car insurance fee monthly when i payed off my car already

Will this make my car insurance rates go up?

On Sunday, I was at Home Depot. I came out of the store to discover some ****** hit my car with a metal shopping car, leaving orange paint down the side and a good sized dent. Two witnesses came up to me and gave me a description of the car and the license plate number. I don't want to pay a deductible, I want this jerk to pay for it. If I call my insurance and tell them about it, will my rates go up? How else can I get this guys information to take him to small claims court?""

Need help! ASAP! What will the insurance company say?

My boyfriend and I were at a stop light the light turned green. We started to go (this area is under contraction so the lanes are all messed up). The car in front of stops then hits their braks so did my boyfriend but it was to late we hit her. The car started to coast back and hit us again. Then we tryed to pull of to the side. We realized that it was a chain reaction. Car #1 was hit by car #2, car #3 hit car # 2 and we hit car #3 in that order. We did not launch all the cars together. I did call the police and we got the stupidest officer there was that pretty much wrote the story up wrong. At the sence everyone was agreeing what happend. The woman we hit was a 77 year old lady. The first thing she when she got out of the car was she couldn't get her car in gear. (I don't know why it was out of gear but ok) Car #1 and Car #2 said they weren't going to do anything about their cars insurance company wise. Car #2 I'm sure will be going after the older woman in Car #3. The older woman said since it was likely the bumper would just buff out it was ok for my boyfriend to do that for her. But he said he would not touch the front of her car. (After talking to the insurace company they said my boyfriend fixxing it is a bad idea) My boyfriends car is the worse out of all of them it smashed in hood in, and broke the radatior brakets. (His car sat higher then hers and thats why it smashed it) The cop did try to write my boyfriend a ticket but the woman said it wasn't his fault the other cars hit before he hit Car #3. How will the insurance company handle this? What will happen to our car? We have Geico inusrance will no colistion insurance. It seems like his inusrance company is trying to say it was all his fault.""

What would be the insurance rates for a 16 year old with aford maverick?

I have good grades no felonies pretty much no anything. How much would it be for a 1971 ford maverick

Motorcycle Insurance cost in Ontario?

I know it depends on a lot so I'll give you as much info as possible: age: 18 bike: honda cbr125r driving(car) record: spotless -the bike will be kept in my house overnight, and I'll only be using inner city (for work, school, social..) So guys I just need a rough estimate, doesn't have to be exact. how much would it cost be per year? Also, is insurance less if you're female like with car insurance? thanks for any help!""

Car insurance cost for a 25 year old?

Hey, I am wondering how much it would cost to insure a 25 year old driving a 2012 Ford escape. Thanks in advance!""

What happens if you get in an accident and your insurance relapsed?!?

We got into a small fender bender and our insurance was expired. What will happen to us?! We renewed that same day RIGHT after the accident.

Insurance Corp. refuse to pay for a stolen car....?

My friend's new Honda was stolen near his home. ICBC, a crown corporation, refused to pay because they said the car was thief proof. And they suspect may friend stole his own car then filed the insurance claim. Does anyone had such an experience with the insurance company? What should be done about it?""

Bankrupcy increasing auto insurance premiums???

Someone told me if a person files bankrupcy, their auto insurance premiums increase. Is this true and how do insurance companies justify the rate increase?""

Where can I find salvage motorcycles directly from the insurance company?

I'm interested in purchasing cheap parts bikes directly from the insurance companies after a wreck. I am mostly interested in Harleys and I don't have any interest in these gimmicky websites where you pay a fee and there are not a lot of bikes. I've looked at ebay but these are usually bikes being sold from the person who bought it from the insurance company (ie premium). There are some public auto auctions, but these are usually only limited to dealers. But maybe that is my only choice?""

Car insurance for 21 yr single female scion fr-s/ subaru brz?

Does anyone know from personal experience about how much insurance for this car would cost? good student driver discount on parent's policy accident free.

Pregnant. insurance and medicaid?

i just found out that i am pregnant. i called my insurance and they said that i am 90% covered and that i would be responsible for covering the other 10%. can i still apply for medicaid to cover that 10% or will that have to come out of pocket?

Is it misandric that young men have to pay more for car insurance?

I mean, its noted that young men tend to have more severe accidents, than women and older men - but isnt this just another case of generalising based on age and sex? A similar generalisation made about women, would have caused an uproar and certainly no policies would have been based on such generalisations about women - as it would face immediate protest, then why is it OK to generalise young men like this? Source : http://education.yahoo.net/auto-insurance/articles/why_do_men_pay_more_for_car_insurance.htm""

How much is insurance?

I have a 1971 Ford: Charger. It is fully restored with a 550HP+ engine. I have no air bags, but I have racing seats (seat belts like NASCAR). It has great speed but ok handling. The brakes, suspension, etc are are new and installed customly. I am 15, but I need to know how much insurance is when im 16-18. If you have any more questions about my car t o determine the cost. Feel free to ask me at ugot_maii@hotmail.com with LOOK as the subject. THX""

What is the best car insurance?

What is the bestt car insurance for an 18 year old?

What is the positive & negetive aspect of Term insurance?

Why insurance agent do not show interest towards term insurance. Why they insist on ULIP only.

Is it legal for insurance companies to require that you have a certain amount for personal bodily injury?

coverage before they can give you an insurance quote.

Can anyone tell me about selling insurance as a career?

A friend of the family sales insurance through State Farm. He has offered to mentor me and show me the ropes in the insurance business. I know absalutly nothing about insuarance. Is ita good career? Is it difficult to do? How much money do you make? Im in California. thanks

""Mortgage, HOMEOWNER INSURANCE, lost jobs advice.?""

I need some advice! (Please, please keep your advice to constructive criticism, please) We are coming out of a messy situation where we both lost our jobs. But now we have acquired ...show more""

Should i buy car insurance through a family member ?

My grandpa is a insurance agent and I'm.wondering if i should.purchase car insurance through him

What cars are cheap to insure? UK ?

i know it depends on individual person but, in general, which cars have the lowest insurance? thanks""

What are the best car insurance sites for a 17 year old male?

Im just looking what sort of prices id be looking at for insurance for small cars (1.0/1.1 engines) and cant get a quote under 3000. Who are the best insurance providers for recently passed 17 year olds?

Insurance costs on a Range Rover?

I'm only 14 right now but since I am a massive car fan I have already come up with a selection of cars. Most definetly euuropean though. My idea was the 3.5 litre that Land Rover had in the Range Rooney (Top Gear reference) I hear insurace is higher for SUV's and convertibles. I think a Rage Rover could be good for practicality, and even though they are slightly unreliable I was thinking put in a new engine. But I also had ideas for a used Mercedes SL hardtop (if they had any). I also like the VW beetle (original). I would think my budget would likely be $4000-5000. I just remembered I also wanted a 1997-99 Jaguar XJ long wheeelbase. So if u can please make a suggestion for a European car with 6 cylinders or more preferebly British or German and tryy adding what insurance might be pllease. Thank you.""

Where can i find a cheap car insurance?

i live in UK from 2011 and i am self employed. i have a very cheap vauxhall and i pay nearly 2000 a year on car insurance. i want to have a second car to be clean and for social use only but i will need to pay an extra 1000 per year. i am 27 years old and have 5 years EU driven licence. can you advise me in any way?

New Brunswick Motorcycle Insurance is based on...?

I will be moving to NB this summer (from BC), and was wondering how the insurance rates out there are determined. Here in BC there are a number of insurance brackets (based on displacement) which determine the base rate. All bikes in any one bracket pay the same, so a 600cc sportbike is cheaper than a 883 Sportster (these are only for liability, theft and collision are based more on $$ value). In general, is it the same in NB? Would I save money by going to a smaller bike (I currently ride a 1127cc Suzuki GSX1100G), assuming the actual $$ value of the bike was about the same? Does the type of bike matter? I'd ask an insurance agent, but they are usually pretty reticent to explain how their rates are determined. Hope you can help.""

How much should insurance for a 20 year old male driving an 81 corolla cost. no tickets at all?

How much should insurance for a 20 year old male driving an 81 corolla cost. no tickets at all?

Are Saabs reliable and cheap to insure?

Hi, I'm a 16 year old male and I've been wanting a Saab since they are cheap (2004 model) and very nice looking. Do they break down a lot like jaguars and range rovers or are they very good and have no problems? How much a month is it to insure one also?""

Vehicles with lowest insurance rates?

I live in Ontario Canada. I'm needing a car for work now. I have three tickets about two years ago; two running red light tickets and one for driving ten over the limit. I'm looking for a car that is good on gas and easier on the wallet for insurance. Thanks

How can i get relatively cheap car insurance?

I'm 17 and just passed my test as you know first time drivers is extremely expensive to insure. As none of my parents drive I cannot go onto their policy so I'm having to start my own policy where the prices are ridiculous for an old car, but my friends have been telling me how there siblings etc. have started there own policies for as little as 1800 an this is their first year driving when all i can find is stupid prices such as 18,000 can anyone help please, please please!""

Question about health insurance & pre-existing conditions?

Shortly before being taken off of my parent's insurance plan, I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition that requires expensive blood tests and regular office visits. I have applied for insurance through my job, and when reading the bylaws I noticed that it does not cover pre-existing conditions. Will my thyroid disorder be considered a pre-existing when I was diagnosed only a few months ago? Will I ever be able to get any kind of insurance coverage for this disorder now?""

Can my Friend put me under his car insurance?

I am 18 Years old and have had m licence for less than a year but when I get a quote from an insurance company they tell me that I have to pay within the 300-400 range because I have little experience, never had insurance, have no credit and I am a noob... Well, even though I am only driving my car 10 miles a day, it seems like they do not want to trust me on the road. So I asked my friends (because my mom doesnt drive, and I dont get along too well with my family) and he is willing to put me under his insurance... But can he? Would he be the owner of the car and I would be the co-driver? Just let me know any ways I can work this out... Thanks.""

Do you work for a major corporation and do they offer health insurance?

I have worked at the same place for 20 years. The first 8 they didn't offer insurance. Now they do, but I pay the premiums. How about you? Do you work full time? Does your employer offer health insurance? Do they pay or do you? How many people DON'T get offered the option to purchase health insurance through their employer?""

Will my insurance be through the roof?

I am 16 years of age, and I own a '85 2.8L V6 Fiero GT. It's of course 2 door and a sports car. I have the title and plates all ready in my name. I was wondering before I go to get insurance Monday, do you guys think it will be expensive for me? My mother is adding me as a second driver and sadly I am not carrying a B average for that discount. I tried getting some quotes from Progressive it was 650 and Nationwide it was 800, and my mother uses Nationwide. I am not sure if I did the quote correctly though because it shouldnt be that much! Please any helpful idea's or thoughts! Thanks.""

Do you guys know of any cheap Car Insurance places in Raleigh NC ?

I am 18 yrs old i dont have my license but im trying. I need car insurance but i cant find a good place. I want something that will allow me to getright my license right away. I dont want to wait. Any ideas? ohh and i dont have my permit so im in a bad place. I NEED HELPPP PLEASE and THANK YOU!

Which car is cheaper on insurance?

for my first car I am 16 years old secondary driver plus I took a driving course to minimize 30 percent which of these three is cheaper a BMW M3 E46 BMW E39 M5 or a BMW 330i ZHP I am only interested on insurance and is it possible the m3 can be cheaper because it has less horsepower and a smaller engine.

""Buying new car over weekend, But need insurance?""

Ok so I am most likely buying a used car tomorrow. This will be my first car as I am 16 and need something to drive to my job yada yada yada. Anyway, tomorrows a Saturday and my insurance company is closed and my parents need to add me to their policy. Since we are not trading in a car, we dont have a policy to carry over to the new one which I know some insurance companies do. Also, I have Farmers insurance so I am not sure what their policies are over this sorta thing. Any help is appreciated. Especially if you have farmers insurance or have had this kind of problem with them.""

How much homeowner's insurance do I need?

I am purchasing a peice of property and a modular home that is not new, it is maybe 10 years old. I am doing the whole owner finance/contract for deed deal so I am having to pay 120,000 for the place. I think it is worth less. But hey, that is what bad credit gets you. Anyway he said I would have to buy homeowners insurance and I asked how much and he said 120,000. This home itself without the land especially is not where near worth 120,000!!!! Why would I need that much? And if something happened to home would it be right for insurance company to pay 120,000 for a 10 year old modular home. May be even a little older for all I know but it is not 120,000!!!! What is the minumum that I should get? I don't have much money and never had homeowner's insurance.""

Can a person with kaiser permanente insurance in colorado move to arizona and retain that insurance coverage?

Can a person with kaiser permanente insurance in colorado move to arizona and retain that insurance coverage?

Cheapest car insurance in Florida?

I need the cheapest car insurance possible for my husband who rarely if EVER drives. His license is suspended, so I drive everywhere (except an extreme emergency), but since we are married, Geico insists we pay for both to be insured. Anyone get around this or find a great insurance company that could get me some reasonable rates in FL?""

Car insurance rates depending on a car?

If i'm getting a new car I dont really understand insurance. What will make my insurance rise. I have been hearing it is the model or how new my car is because im looking into a few new cars. Thank you.

What kind of new car is the cheapest to insure ?

I currently drive a leased 2011 Hyundai Santa Fe SUV. The full coverage insurance on this car is now $113.00 per month. Last year it was $108.00 per month. I will be in the market for a new leased vehicles soon and I want to know what cars or SUV are the cheapest to insure. Any websites I can look at ?

Which Of These Cars Has The Cheapest Insurance ?

For a first time, 17 year old driver ? Vauxhall Corsa Fiat Punto Daewoo Matiz Ford Ka Ford Fiesta Rover 200 Renault Clio Ford Puma Thanks, I will choose a best answer aswell Any help appretiated =)""

What insurance companies are available for a 62 person with Diabetes?

62 year old needs health insurance in California. She has type 2 diabetes which has been under control for several years. However, she is ready to retire because no company will hire her. How can she find health insurance?""

Prelude vs Subaru on Insurance ?

Which one is typically cheaper? Between a 97 - 01 Prelude and a 00' Subaru 2.5rs Iv heard prelude insurance is expensive. I know wrx insurance is insanely high but im thinking the 2.5rs must be cheaper since its not turbo'ed.

How much would a teens insurance be for an 08 ram 1500?

Family friend is turning 16 in a few months. She's looking to buy an 08 Dodge Ram 1500 from her friend. How much (about) would her insurance be/year? She is being put under her mother & fathers insurance plan. They have no accidents/tickets/anything that would boost their insurance. They have Nationwide. Can anyone give me an estimate of what her yearly or monthly insurance would be?

Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 20year old new driver? And which cars dont drink petrol fast?

I am doing an intense driving course, i would like advice and which cars aint too high on insurance and also which cars dont drink petrol fast as i know some do!""

Motorbike insurance cost?

hi all i have just passed my bike test and was wondering how much insurance would be for a 125, 250 range engine im 18, 0ncb any suggestions would be good cheers""

Anyone who has state farm car insurance?

i'm going to be 17 soon and i'm planning on getting my permit. i live with my aunt so if i get my license i would most likely be under her name for insurance. the problem is that shes worried that if i do get into a huge car accident, then theres a chance that we would lose our house. but i really need to drive because i need to work and my aunt is working too so it would be hard for her to drive me to work. she also said that car insurance for teens is really expensive and i know that that's true. what should i do? by the way she has state farm insurance and i would need to get a car to drive if i get my license because my aunt only has one car right now. but im definitely not going to get a new car, probably a used compact car like honda, mitsubishi, or hyundai because i know that the age of your car and the type of car you drive effects how much your insurance will cost. any advice on what i should do?""

Re. Car insurance?

Anyone work in insurance buisness? I have 2 cars, my mobilty car and a smaller car. I origionally bought it for my wife as she doesnt like driving my mobility car as its too big. I was advised by insurers to keep car in my name, Using my insurance in my name with my wife as a named driver and my 18 year old son who as of yet cannot afford a car as he is attending college and only gets 30 a week EMA if he attends. My wife and I want to give him the car as a joint 18th and christmas present. Now I am stuck if I hand ownership to him and he is pressured into taking out his own policy, my insurance that I have built up over nearly 35 years will possibly be voided and if I need to insure another car in next 3 years after my mobility car is handed back, I may loose my max NCD. Can I legally keep car in my name also my insurance and make him a named main driver, my wife as second and me as third. I have life threatening illnesses and want to give my kids their own cars. cont'd""

Where can i find a cheap car insurance?

i live in UK from 2011 and i am self employed. i have a very cheap vauxhall and i pay nearly 2000 a year on car insurance. i want to have a second car to be clean and for social use only but i will need to pay an extra 1000 per year. i am 27 years old and have 5 years EU driven licence. can you advise me in any way?

Canceling Geico car insurance?

I've had Geico insurance on my car for the past year and I've found a much better rate elsewhere and plan to switch. I'm in Virginia. How do I go about canceling with Geico? Do I have to wait until a certain time (end of 6mos, etc) or can I do it at any time? Is there a cancellation fee? Thanks!""

Affordable Malpractice insurance for doctors if Obama care passes?

How would that sound?

Going to buy a new car tomorrow. Insurance Question.?

I will be getting a new car tomorrow. (It is actually a used one from a dearership, but new to me). Anyways, I was wondering about insurance. I live in Minnesota where it's state law to have insurance and also I need insurance because I took out a loan. My plan was to get the insurance the next day. Would this be a problem? I would be driving my car around without insurance for a whole day. I still have my current car which is covered and I will be getting rid of quite soon but I wont be driving that tomorrow after the purchase is made. My questions are, would I get in trouble if I were pulled over and don't have insurance, and what happens if I get in an accident on my way home from the dealership?""

Car Insurance?

I just got my license and my parents bought me a used car (03 Nissan Sentra). It has insurance under my mom's name, but not mine. Can I legally drive that car and if I do get into an accident driving it, will it be covered?""

Will my insurance be high?

I'm 16, turning 17 soon. I have strait A's so I get the driver discount and plus my insurance company has a program you can do for an extra 15% off which my mom is going to make me do. I'm a girl so I know my insurance will be less then a boys.. But If I got my own car ( years around 2000-2009) will my insurebce be extremely high?""

How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old kid with a licence.?

how much more will it cost to add him to his parents insurance, and its MERCURY INSURANCE""

How much is motorcycle insurance in BC Canada?

I am thinking of getting a motorcycle when im 16 and get my Learners. how much would insurance cost? I live near vancouver BC

""Average homeowner insurance for SE Cape Coral, Florida ?""

Does anyone know the average house insurance for the SE area in Cape Coral, Florida. I know that it has gone up because of weather conditions, but I was just wondering what the average insurance is right now. I am thinking about buying a house that was built in 1992, it has a hip roof, and is equipped with storm windows and everything, if this may help. Thanks for the imput!!""

Are there any well known and reliable insurance companies in Florida that provide homeowner's insurance?

Seems that every insurance company is leaving Florida.

""Is there a type of independant health insurance that is cheap, or semi cheap? And that is not a fraud?

I am a student and Im poor!

Cheap car insurance companies?!?

Does anyone know of any cheap or fair priced car insurance companies? Any suggestions will help??

How much would car insurance be for a 17 year old girl.?

I live in michigan, we own our house just a simple house 2 cars. working parents, we have 21st century and i'm trying to do as much research as I can before I make this offer to my parents, I have no car yet i'm wondering how much do you guys think my insurance would cost? please don't send me to another website if you've been in this situation tell me how much you payed and your story(how many cars, insurance company, etc) thank you so much to those who will help! I'm thinking maybe $150 or $200.""

M2 and G1 car insurance?

As I noticed in drivertest.ca site that if you a holder of M2 you can drive G class vehicle under the condition of getting G1. So that means M2+G1 == G2 in one way (I mean G2 won't equal M2 + G1) So anyone have an idea how much insurance I have to pay for getting a car (i know a lot of details here but consider cheap car and no experience at all)? This info about M2 + G1 = G2 is from here: http://www.mto.gov.on.ca/english/dandv/driver/gradu/index.shtml Note: Class M2 and Class M licence holders may also drive Class G vehicles under the conditions that apply to a Class G1 licence holder. Thanks in advance

Why do auto insurance quotes change day by day?

I received a quote today online, then went back to the same quote today and it was $22.00 more. I didn't change any of my info. Why do these quotes vary day by day? Is there a particular time I should search for quote? Thanks in advance for your answers!""

Are there any car insurance companies that don't use a social security # when determining your rates?

I think it is horrible that they base car insurance rates on your credit history. Having bad credit doesn't make you a bad driver. If they are worried about you paying the bill, why do they make it HIGHER if you have bad credit? Isn't that a little messed up? Are there any companies that don't do this?""

What companies offer good Business Insurance?

We are a small production/post production company for film/TV/marketing and need business insurance. We are located in Sherman Oaks, CA. Would appreciate suggestions for which companies we should reach out to.""

Want an awd turbo car with low insurance?

Im looking for an awd turboed car that has low insurance. Evos and sti insurance is 400 a month. I don't want an audi. I want something fast tho. What do you think. Thanks

Is it illegal to drive without auto insurance in Fla?

Someone told me that I absolutely need insurance on my car or I could face charges. Is this true?

How much auto insurance do I need if I own a home and some other assests?

My auto insurance company told me that if I'm in an accident and I don't have enough auto insurance I can be sued and possibly lose my home. I never heard of anyone losing ...show more

""How much is Homeowners Insurance in FL on a $150,000 home?

I'm a first time home buyer and very curious how much cash I'm going to need before closing a house.

How much is too much for insurance?

Hello. i own a 300zx twin turbo, i have modified it my self with some stuff.. but thats not importent right now. my question is that the cheapest insurance i can get for it with full coverage is around 250 a month..Im willing to pay for it, just because i love everything about this car.. but to my self i think its far too much. im 19 years old, and i was wondering what kinda stuff brings down the amount i would have to pay for insurance? ( i got my license when i was 18, ive had it for about a year now) thanks.""

Can i switch car insurance from one car to another?

i have a car with car insurance on it, but i am going to buy another car, and i want to take the car insurance off my old car and put it on my new one. is it possible and if so how do i go about doing it?""

Roughly how much per month is Homeowners Insurance?

What is the 12 month insurance premium for a $100,000 house?""

Insuring a second vehicle?

My husband and I both have our own vehicles but have just purchased an old Land Rover for towing our trailer tent. We have been searching insurance companies online for a cheap quote but have been getting quotes for 1000+. We only want to use the vehicle occasionally & think this is a ridiculous amount of money to pay for insurance, (especially as the vehicle only cost us 600 to buy.) Can anyone recommend a company that provides insurance at a reasonable price for an occassional-use vehicle? Thank you""

Insurance for driving my bf car?

I am getting my driving license, how much roughly will cost the insurance to drive my boyfriend's car? It is an old petrol skoda... Thank you!""

Where can i find a cheap car insurance?

i live in UK from 2011 and i am self employed. i have a very cheap vauxhall and i pay nearly 2000 a year on car insurance. i want to have a second car to be clean and for social use only but i will need to pay an extra 1000 per year. i am 27 years old and have 5 years EU driven licence. can you advise me in any way?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/personal-health-insurance-frank-hill"

[oldguardaudio]

Gun Control News -> Gun Control Crowd Continues To Misinform With False “Statistics”

Concealed Carry News at Hoax and Change

Concealed Carry – HoaxAndChange.com

Americans

Poll: More Americans Have a Gun in Home Than Ever Before

“Throughout their many failures, gun control advocates have comforted themselves with their belief that gun ownership is falling and that they will be able to achieve their policy goals once the number of …

The Washington Free Beacon3h

Law

Are Gun Laws Really Common Sense..or More of the Same Stupid Stuff?

Let’s look at the gun control laws being asked for today. Do these regulations restrict criminals, or do they restrict honest citizens? Look at the record and decide for yourself. Anti-gun advocates say we …

Ammo Land6d

Crowd

Gun Control Crowd Continues To Misinform With False “Statistics”

Leave it to the gun grabbers to never let the facts get in the way of a good argument. After all, reality has a pesky way of undermining their so-called “facts” when anyone looks deeper, so they don’t give …

bearingarms.com6d

Health Threats From Harvey

Wall Street Gains

Ezekiel Elliott Hearing Over

U.S. Bombing Drills

Arkema Chemical Plant Fire

iPhone 8 Launch Date

Trump Daca

Asteroid Florence

Princess Diana 20 Years

Gun Control

Gun Control Internal Bickering Exposed, Again

In May of 2017 and article was posted here on All Outdoor detailing the internal bickering of gun control groups. Well, here is another example, this time from the Huffington Post – As A Gun Violence …

alloutdoor.com6d

Gun Rights

USCCA Hits Back at Gun Control Advocates Accusing Concealed Carry of Violence

West Bend, WI –-(Ammoland.com)-Gun rights are once again under attack by anti-Second Amendment advocates, and today the Violence Policy Center (VPC) has come out with a misleading report …

Ammo Land5d

University Of Vermont

Gun Control Panel to Launch Janus Forum Debate Series

The debate over gun control is one of the most polarizing in America. Proponents of stricter gun laws point to the fact that Americans are 10 times more likely to be killed by guns than people in other developed countries. Opponents counter that shooters …

University of Vermont17h

Crime

Did The Associated Press Look For REAL Causes Of Gun Crime?

The reality is that inner city violence is a complex problem, and gun control is a simplistic answer. The real solutions have more to do with population density per city block, poverty, and culture than they …

bearingarms.com1d

University Of Vermont

Upcoming Gun Control Policy Panel Discussion

The University of Vermont Janus Forum is hosting a panel discussion on gun control policy on Thursday, September 14 3:00 pm-4:30 pm in the Livak Ballroom. This panel will feature Professors Cassandra Crifasi (John Hopkins), Michael Huemer (University of …

blog.uvm.edu1d

Politics

Letter: Fighting the good fight on gun control

Re: the Sept. 7 article “City ends policy on smashing firearms.” Thank you to the Tucson Police Department and Tucson City Council for fighting the good fight. At least some guns were put out of commission. We can only hope that sanity will prevail someday.

tucson.com19h

Gun Control

On the Dan Newmyer Show to discuss who gun control measures are actually disarming

Dr. John Lott appeared on the Dan Newmyer Radio Show on WJJF-AM to discuss how gun control …

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Gun Control

gun control

Trump said Monday he agreed “quite strongly” with Clinton on banning gun sales to people on terrorist watch lists. “You don’t know whether he really means it or not,” said Minority Whip Steny Hoyer.

BuzzFeed2h

Microsoft Office

Someone Made an Untraceable AR-15 ‘Ghost Gun’ In their Office

… with a true functioning gun for years DIY gun makers have been legally creating their own lower receivers to skirt gun control laws and builds untraceable weapons. I wanted to see if new digital …

americanshootingjournal.com3d

Deafness

Can Jeff Duncan silence opposition to his gun bill?

But it’s one of them. It also provides a personal and emotional element to an issue that is inextricably tied to the equally personal and emotional – and partisan – politics of the gun control debate. …

The Modesto Bee6d

Rage

Gun pulled in rage over ‘stupid’ bumper stickers, officials say

She lost control of her vehicle, hit Burns’ car and slid into a guardrail. Burns pleaded not guilty. He reportedly said Umphenour’s political decals were “stupid” and he pointed the gun at Umphenour …

wpsdlocal6.com4d

Roy Moore

Gun Owners of America: We Need Roy Moore in the Senate to Secure Concealed Carry Reciprocity

Gun Owners of America (GOA) put out a September 11 press release rallying Alabama voters to …

Breitbart News10h

Washington, D.C.

‘Lie And Try’ To Buy A Gun In Washington? New Law Requires Dealer To Report You

Guns and domestic violence are a deadly combination. Now domestic violence survivors in …

OPB22h

Congressional Country Club

Gun News of the Week: Congressional Fall Agenda Includes De-listing Suppressors, National Reciprocity, and Federal Preemption

The Hearing Protection Act is among several significant firearms-related proposals most gun owners want to see adopted this fall. Also on …

Outdoor Life19h

Gun, With Occasional Music

One Shot After Playing with a Gun

When officers arrived on scene, they found the victim suffering from a gunshot wound with possible life-threatening injuries. The victim stated that she and her girlfriend were playing with the gun and the …

WKRG News 512h

Columnist

Column: Congress would weaken Minn. gun laws

As a daughter of a hunter, I respect the right of responsible gun ownership. But as a mother of two young children, a former teacher and a volunteer with Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in …

Post-Bulletin20h

Shooting

Teen free on gun charges jailed in daylight shooting of 16-year-old

TRENTON — A teenager freed after being charged in July with firearm possession charges has been detained on a separate first-degree attempted murder charge for a shooting last month. Derrick …

New Jersey Online15h

Photos: Garry’s Gun Shop numbers stay strong

Photos: Garry’s Gun Shop numbers stay strong Alex Lerdal tries out a gun at Gary’s Gun Shop Friday. Lerdal came home to Sioux Falls after being deployed in Japan with the U.S. navy for the past three …

Argus Leader15h

Suspect

Assemblyman accepted campaign cash from gun, drug trafficking suspects

Bronx Assemblyman Mark Gjonaj accepted campaign cash from two men indicted for money laundering in connection with drug trafficking and a scheme to smuggle AK-47s and a rocket launcher to …

New York Post1d

Firearm

You Bought Your First Gun — Now What? Advice for the New Defensive Firearms Owner Part 1

Now that you have taken a step towards your personal defense, where do you go from here? I …

medium.com3d

Helpful cop threatened with gun

When the car stopped at the intersection of Stratford Avenue and Hollister Street Figueroa approached the Toyota with his gun out and ordered Owens and his passenger, 28-year-old Corey Zygmont, to surrender. He then held them there until backup arrived.

Connecticut Post6h

Rochester

Loaded gun found in carry-on over weekend

A North Carolina woman was arrested Saturday at the Greater Rochester International Airport for having a loaded gun in her carry-on bag. A Transportation Security Administration officer spotted the .357 …

The Raleigh Telegram19h

Gun Ownership

Why The U.S. Is Right And The Rest Of The World Is Wrong About Gun Ownership

The problem with all of these arguments is that they are wrong. They don’t understand what gun …

preparedgunowners.com2d

Police

Police say no shots fired, but asks anyone with evidence of gun violence to call them

Please log in, sign up for a new account and purchase a subscription to continue reading. Thank you …

The Independent Tribune13h

Gun, With Occasional Music

Marking off the Gun

The hunter’s reaction can prove distracting to the unprepared gundog. The wingshooter should prepare his or her retriever to “mark off” the gun. Use guns in training to condition young dogs to mark off the …

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Gun Incidents

Four recent gun incidents in region, including one of self-defense

The attack, in the 8400 block of Stoney Lane, came in the course of an argument, and it apparently ended, according to the police account, when one of the two assault victims showed a gun. A police statement said a victim “brandished a firearm in self …

Washington Post2d

SWAT Standoff

BREAKING: Orlando Looters Face Off Against SWAT In GUN Store…

Orlando, FL – A SWAT standoff is underway with suspects who were looting Academy Sports at 3557 Garden Ridge Way near the Mall At Millenia in Orlando. The suspects were seen on store video …

toprightnews.com2d

Indiana

Gun permits help police, panel is told

Terre Haute gun store owner Steve Ellis said Indiana is a “shall issue” state. That means a permit will be granted unless an applicant is categorically prohibited, which can happen because of criminal history. “So if that’s the case, then why make …

The Journal Gazette7h

Los Alamos National Laboratory

Letter To The Editor: Yes, Gun Buybacks Do Work And They ‘Feel Good’ Too

Copyright © 2012-2017 Los Alamos Daily Post. This Site and all information contained here including, but not limited to, news stories, photographs, video, charts, graphs and graphics is the property of the …

Los Alamos Daily Post1d

Gun, With Occasional Music

Witnesses Speak Out About A Gun Incident On School Grounds

A gun brought on campus at Minot High School. Good evening and thanks for watching, I’m Malique Rankin. Earlier this week we reported that there was a gun incident on a high school campus. The …

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Shotgun Shell

This is What Happens When a Shotgun Shell Explodes Outside a Gun

What would happen, however, if you were to make a shotgun shell explode without it being in the barrel of a gun? What if you wanted to detonate it while it was simply sitting freely? Would the projectile still …

speedsociety.com1d

Gun, With Occasional Music

Police: Man Threatens Girlfriend with Gun

RUTLAND, Vt. – Rutland police have arrested a man they say threatened his girlfriend with a gun. Police were called to the area of South Main Street and Hopkins Street around 1:30 p.m. Sunday. Police …

mychamplainvalley.com17h

Mother

Victim’s mother: ‘He just emptied the gun on her.’

She got out of the car and she walked away and he started shooting her. She said the next thing she knew he was standing above her and he just emptied the gun on her. Then all she said is, ‘Why did …

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Gun Shops

Bill could cost gun shops thousands of dollars

Bill could cost gun shops thousands of dollars A bill waiting the governor’s signature will require gunshops to install expensive protective equipment in front of their stores. Check out this story on …

Redding Record Searchlight3d

Pulling

Man Goes Off on Police Officer for Allegedly Pulling Gun on Him Over Signal Violation

The unidentified cop then approached Minott’s vehicle with his gun drawn as if he had committed a …

allblackmedia.com1d

16-year-old charged with firing gun at younger brother

16-year-old charged with firing gun at younger brother The teen loaded two bullets into a gun, which he then put up to his brother’s temple and then his chest and pulled the trigger three times. Check out …

York Daily Record2d

Mom with gun chases intruder she found near teen daughter with special needs

An intruder was arrested Monday night not long after he was chased away by a mom with a gun who found the man near her teen daughter inside their home in Elyria, Ohio. It was the second time in a …

guns.com3d

Federal lawmakers seek to deregulate gun silencers

I have sufficiently shown they are more dangerous. Click to expand… You’ve claimed that. You’ve shown no actual data or third party study. then you should know that they are less accurate than semi autos, making them more dangerous. Click to expand

Gun Control News -> Gun Control Crowd Continues To Misinform With False “Statistics” Gun Control News -> Gun Control Crowd Continues To Misinform With False “Statistics” Americans Poll: More Americans Have a