#april fools poll

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Phone Addict Miku VS Alcoholic Miku

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A 500 word essay in defense of my choice in the April Fools Team Edward or Team Jacob Poll.

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Years ago, in a Literature Comprehension class, we read The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas by Ursula Le Guin and I got a 62% on an essay I submitted about the short story. My teacher was right to dock my grade; there is no third option presented to the reader. I wrote how both choices the story asked of you were wrong and the best solution was to free the child and burn the system to the ground. That isn’t the point of the philosophical debate, it is meant for you to look inward and ask what you think is ethically and morally better: to stay or walk away. What will you do with this binary choice? Choose the rock or choose the hard place?

So in a poll about whether you are Team Edward or Team Jacob in regards to the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, my gut instinct is to shout from the rooftops “Team Bella!”, but that is not an option in this philosophical debate. It is, once again, choose the rock or choose the hard place.

My opinion about Teams Edward and Jacob is completely subjective and I will argue in defense of my personal outlook. I do hope that my argument my team does not come across as disparaging to others’ choices and reasonings. You do you, just my opinion.

For some background context: I have only watched the first movie and read books 1, 2, and 4 in my past adolescence, I have not read the 3rd for reasons I cannot remember. I read the leaked chapters of Midnight Sun. I have watched video essays on the Twilight series and its byproducts. I am not a hardcore fan of the series, but I have some experience and knowledge as a casual fan.

If I was asked this question when I had only read the first book and was sixteen, then I would have said Team Jacob. He seemed sweet, him and Bella had more chemistry in my opinion, and a relationship would have been built on a mutual friendship. Emotional vulnerability and openness in that relationship seemed far more accessible to both parties, than the hostile closed-off front and possessiveness presented by Edward. This series is meant as a dark escapist romance, I get that, but this seemed ‘softer’ and more appealing. The safe childhood friend romance trope.

In following books, the utter creepiness of Jacob’s disregard of boundaries, his excusatory defence of his family member’s violent assault on another tribe member and of a different family member’s grooming, and his own grooming of the main character’s daughter has soured that opinion. I get a lot of the behaviour is based a fantastical fictional imprint/soul-mate trope, but the reinforcement of negative stereotypes of violent Indigenous men is a hard pill to swallow.

Also, to truly to say I am Team Bella, I would have to go along with her choice of Edward. She used her limited agency to choose him. I’ll respect it.

oh my god!! I was really hoping someone would drop me an essay but not actually expecting it I can't believe it's actually 500 words this is such a great april fools gift to me personally

I will deduct points for not having read book three or even watched the third movie, as it would have strengthened your argument, but I'm willing to give points back for the compare and contrast of other works to the source and tie in of personal anecdote i enjoy the self reflection on the limited choices i provided you with your conclusion is also a good tie in to your opening argument

however my friend i'm afraid you didn't put your name on the essay which will make it harder for me to put your redemption passing grade into the gradebook

[unsettlingcreature]

(NO LONGER BOOPING EVERYONE WHO REBLOGS, THERE'S TOO MANY OF YOU)

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[art by @beelzeebub ]

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💚 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll closes, so check back for results! Until then, please don't mention the song title in reblogs! (Guesses about everything else are fine and encouraged though; have fun!) 💚

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

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Will you do a cryptid for April Fools (when it rolls around)?

Photos thanks to Loudoun County Animal Services and octapuff on DesignCrowd!

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Another essay (different anon) in defense of Team Edward. (Not to be taken seriously)

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The Team Jacob vs Team Edward debate presents a choice, not just for the lover of Bella Swan, but her fate, and that of the other characters of Twilight. Edward or Jacob presents an ultimatum, which cannot be placed solely on the romance.

It is a choice, for Bella, between humanity and immortality. Between the world she knows, and the one she's getting to know.

To choose Edward is to reject humanity, and the life she has. She gets to keep it for a while, but time is relentless and will eventually force her to leave it behind.

To choose Jacob is to reject the Cullens, and their world. Jacob is a shifter, but the Quilete don't have a connection to the rest of the supernatural, they shift only to protect themselves against them. The Cullens will move on, and Bella will not have strong enough ties to keep them. She will be left aware of all that she does not know, forever hoping to either catch another glimpse of that world, or trying desperately to forget. Jacob would support her, but he will not be enough on his own.

Either way, Bella will have to sacrifice something. She cannot maintain the status quo forever. If she does not choose one, she will loose them both. However, if she chooses Jacob, Edward would leave. He is unable to bear having her near, yet out of reach. He will leave, and never come back. Bella will lose him forever.

The other Cullens might visit occasionally, but no more than that. It will just make it harder for her to move on. Edward will not move on, at least not for several decades, but it will be centuries before he truly recovers, and even then he will be changed. Bella knows this. She knows Edward, and knows how much it would hurt him. The guilt, misplaced or not, will keep her from being truly happy.

Not only that, but the very concept of imprinting will always hang over them, an uncertainty they have no control over. Jacob chose her, but that choice could be taken away from him. Even if it never happens, the possibility will haunt them.

If she chooses Edward, it will hurt Jacob, but it will fade. He loves her, but he can love again. He is not like Edward, who is so static that any change alters him permanently. Jacob is to young, not just in age, but in personality. It may take him a few years, but he can find love again.

If Bella chooses Edward, Jacob remains in her life. He would refuse to let her go completely, even if it means having to endure being only friends. Friends is a good thing to be.

If Bella chooses Edward, she will have to move on. Leave behind her friends, her family, and her home. Yet she finished school. She's going to college. Time moves on. Change happens anyway. She will just learn to live with it.

I’m so obsessed that I’m actually getting these essays absolutely brightening my day that you guys are rolling this hard with my joke poll

I’m giving high marks for your analysis of themes the love triangle represents rather than just the romance of the love triangle itself as well as prediction of outcome based on source material for both sides of the argument

However, once again we have a student who has not put their name on their paper so I’m unable to deliver these high marks personally. how will you put them on your fridge with your report card???

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Reblog for a bigger sample size, ect ect

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Tumblr's new update

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discovered via @2010s-nostalgia 🖤💙