#as in i love homestuck to bits. but i saw the true colours of a lot of fan creators back then and. hrrgghghh

[lucabyte]

i need to know if the people who are following me who are currently in the process of reading homestuck for the first time are doing it through the Unofficial Homestuck Collection because if you aren't please say so because um. Veteran homestuck here who wants to give you the best possible experience . please. <- guy who's prepping for an upcoming homestuck reread and as such has a whole list of reccomendations

[atalana]

Alright, I’ve just spent 17 hours absorbing the epilogue, and in true Dirk Strider fashion, I have Thoughts.

I had plenty of responses I’ve been considering to this, about two hours ago I was honestly thinking of just dropping in with a fuckin one liner like “So Dirk Three wrote the epilogue” (Dirk Three kinda did write the epilogue, and I’ll explain that too), but we’re on the fucking essay train now and no one’s getting off it any time soon so it’s time to dive into this fucker and get it all off my chest.

Under the cut you will find essays on Dirk, cherubs, ultimate selves, both major Dirk fics (Detective Pony and Theatre of Coolty), a bunch of story bullshit, and my severe love for all Homestuck characters

(But very little criticism of the epilogue, I am no longer about that life)

So the prologue is important here. It’s the main bit of accurate information we have, not tainted by an unreliable narrator. (Well, it is, but less so). The prologue tells us that, with the characters outside of canon, they are becoming their ultimate selves, particularly the characters most susceptible to such knowledge, like seers, or heart players.

Now Homestuck wrestles a lot with the idea of the ultimate self. It is, as defined by the text, the true thing a person is, an amalgamation of every possible version of themselves. It is not a viable human being, because that’s not how human beings work. It basically amounts to Hussie’s character rules, like, there are some ways that these characters will be always, some things they’re prone to, things they like, decisions they’re likely to make, but who the person is within that is subject to extreme change depending on circumstance. The four people who embody this narrative most clearly are Vriska, Terezi, Davepeta, and Dirk.

I’m still not 100% sure on why the ultimate selves outside of canon thing is, but my best guess would be this - within the story, there’s a definite timeline, right? Like, these are the things that are written down, this is what you can see, the word of god (loaded phrase, thanks Dirk), the things that you look at when trying to apply death of the author (even more loaded phrase, thanks Hussie, also thanks Calliope). There’s more than one timeline, sure, but that’s the point, everyone is who they are within that timeline, affected by what happened to make them who they became. Outside of canon is, well, outside of the story. They’re not affected by the story here, they’re just characters. This is a fanfiction site. And what does fanfic do best? It takes the characters, takes who they are, pulls them out of the story, and shoves them in wherever it likes, to become whoever it is they become. And thus who the character is exactly becomes murky and confusing if you’re trying to jam them all into one thing, and it all gives Rose Lalonde a headache. Ultimate selves.

Davepeta liked their ultimate self, it helped two kids who were otherwise struggling with unsatisfying ultimate selves to become a better whole.

Vriska took the proactive approach, by which I mean bullying her other selves into letting her become the ultimate Vriska, which was ultimately useless and gave her no ultimate self at all

Terezi saw her ultimate self, and is still processing what that means for her (but also Terezi is still in canon, so she’s immune to epilogue bullshit)

And Dirk, god, poor Dirk. Dirk was terrified of it. Because he could see his ultimate self and he knew that’s not the kind of person he wanted to become. (And this is where I start using the Theatre of Coolty numbers because there’s no other way to get through this, if you haven’t read/seen it you 100% should, but as a general note, Dirk One is the main Dirk we know, Dirk Two is Brain Ghost Dirk, Dirk Three is “Trickster Dirk” but actually revealed later to be Hussie, Dirk Four is Hal)

Because here’s the thing. Dirk’s ultimate self is him, but it’s also Hal. It’s also BGD. It’s also Bro. And Dirk One was never as bad as he thought he was, but he surrounded himself with copies of himself, so he knew how bad he could be, and tried everything he could to avoid it. We have actual canon confirmation on multiple occasions that Dirk would so much rather kill himself than become the kind of person capable of hurting his friends. Which only got worse after he met Dave and realised Bro existed, like, that just doubled his resolve to Never Be That Person.

(Hey, fun hypothetical, if you kill yourself to stop yourself becoming a bad person because you know it’s inevitable but you’re too good a person to want to go through with it, is it heroic or just? Because I would like to have a lengthy discussion with the god tier clock!)

God, there’s so much I can write on the subject of Dirk’s ultimate self. Because you can see every version of him inside there, there’s Bro in his possessiveness, Hal in his need to fuck with people for no real reason, BGD in his hyper critical nature (beyond what is normal for all Dirks), Dirk One in his desire to never let anyone hurt him again. (God, the “I’ll never let you break my heart again” line hurt so much, because like… I can feel Dirk One in that line, but it’s delivered by ultimate Dirk, and ultimate Dirk isn’t the kind of person who would have even been heartbroken by Jake’s actions. Dirk One poured his soul into that relationship and Jake responded by ignoring him, and like, this isn’t a dig on Jake, because that did make Dirk very intense and hard to deal with, but as Calliope so beautifully put, the children left alone are those who most despair at being ignored. And every version of Dirk was so very alone.)

When sending initial thoughts to my friend, I wrote “Ultidirk is Dirk One but without the compassion or empathy and with an apparently infinite supply of horse tranquilizers”. Which was mostly a joke, but does get down to the core of the problem. Dirk One and Ultidirk aren’t really that different, when it comes down to it. But there’s one crucial element that makes all the difference. Dirk One’s life philosophy is “This is a me problem, so I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you don’t have to deal with that problem, at any cost”. Ultidirk’s life philosophy is “This is a me problem, so I’m going to make it everyone else’s problem. And it turns out that without basic human empathy and morality holding him back, Ultidirk will just… fucking declare himself God, and use that alongside his powers of manipulation to just write a new story in which he is the villain. Very little changes in the scale of things.

(The other main difference is that Dirk One is scared to exist, whereas every other Dirk is scared to not exist, that’s the stuff, good callback, etc etc, that line fucking killed me, and also killed whatever remnant of Dirk One was still lurking inside Ultidirk and god I want to hug him)

(I also want to extract him from Ultidirk and bring him on an Ultidirk murdering quest bc he would be 100% down for that without a second’s hesitation but that’s a bit hard to do)

Now you may be wondering why I brought up Theatre of Coolty if I was only gonna refer to Dirk One as Dirk One and not touch on any of the others. Well, it’s true, saying Dirk Two and Dirk Four when I have simple three letter names for both of them is a bit ridiculous. But then we get to Dirk Three.

Now here’s the thing about Theatre of Coolty. Dirk One appears in Homestuck, as alpha Dirk, in Dirk’s usual shirt with the orange hat. Dirk Two appears in Homestuck, as brain ghost Dirk in god tier pyjamas. Dirk Four appears in Homestuck as Hal, and he wears a red hat because he’s Dirk in a different colour scheme, also because the sprite Hussie eventually made for him based on fanon had a red hat, all’s sorted there.

But Dirk Three? Trickster Dirk? Never appeared in Homestuck. They tried, but it was still Dirk One. Dirk is immune to cherubic influence (remember this point too, it’s important), because his concept of self is so present (and also because he’s depressed as fuck, but that doesn’t necessarily exclude you, it’s just the presence of both at once). And who does Dirk Three turn out to be? Well, they said it from the start, Theatre of Coolty is about the presence or absence of god, who definitely will show up at some point. Dirk Three is Hussie in a Dirk costume, Dirk Three is God, Dirk Three is The Author.

Dirk Three is Ultidirk. Congrats, all four Dirks have officially shown up in Homestuck, to whatever extent this counts as Homestuck, an extent which has been thoroughly documented by its own existence bc this is Homestuck (kinda) and you gotta lean into the bullshit or you’ll drown in it.

So yes, this was penned by Dirk Three. Who is also Lord English in two different metaphorical ways now (The trickster element, and also the fact that the epilogues insist on making Jane a second Condesce, which in this analogy puts Dave as himself and Dirk as, you guessed it, Cherub Master of All. Which is additionally insulting as fuck because Dirk grew up in that apocalypse and would never contribute to recreating it, if Jane ever was inclined to, which she isn’t, but you know).

And LE’s major force of opposition? Adult Calliope. (Also, like, Vriska, but symbolically it’s the other cherub.)

Which brings me to the main point of this essay, and that is that all of this? It’s a cherub fic. And we knew this, from the moment we were offered that choice. Meat or Candy? Well, neither of them are sustainable food sources for humans, not with the meat uncooked like that. They’re not satisfying endings for us either. But it’s all cherubs eat. (Well, that and special stardust, but that was Caliborn’s intermission. This is Calliope’s offering.)

Which again feeds back into the AO3 metaphor because from their introduction, Caliborn and Calliope have been fandom inserts, representing all of us, for better or worse. They read the story, come up with the theories, they write the fanfic.

And Calliope’s trying so hard. But she’s not human. She doesn’t get it, not on a way that connects with the characters, only with the text. Cherubs spend their lifetime alone. Cherubs only have black romance. Cherubs think trickster mode is an acceptable way to solve problems.

And, as Dirk pointed out back when he was still himself, everyone getting married and having a bunch of babies for no reason doesn’t solve shit.

Without a solid timeline, everyone became susceptible to becoming their ultimate selves. Ultidirk is a dick with the powers of actual capital g God, and none of the remorse of Dirk One, so he took control of the narrative. And so Calliope, the fanfic author, the one with the power to write a new story (with the exception of Dirk, as previously mentioned, he’s immune to cherub bullshit, and John and Terezi, who are still in canon), tried to help everyone realise their full potential.

But she made them selfish. She made them solitary. She doesn’t understand how humans work, so they became parodies of themselves. In meat, there’s a plot, but it’s insubstantial, because no one is truly themselves, facing a Dirk who lost himself years ago. In candy, it’s fluff with, again, no substance. It’s trickster mode calmed down. Everyone gets married and has babies, but it makes no sense, and everyone’s miserable.

And John Dirk and Terezi are the only ones who see it, because they’re the ones who haven’t been given to Calliope. But what’s the point, when they’ve lost their power over the story? What’s the point of gaining power if you’re not yourself anymore? (And one way or another, they all die in the end.)

The rest of them… Well, they do the things the narrative implied they would do, but usually in the worst possible way.

(Aradia and Sollux have been canon neutral since 2011 and they like it that way)

And now we go back to Detective Pony, like everyone and their mother have analysed already. Because yeah, these two things have so much in common, but also, some really crucial differences.

Both are stories in which Dirk takes control of the narrative, in which he is fought for control by another author figure, in which he considers his own role in the story, what he’s created, who’s got the authority (I still love that pun so much), and eventually forces the characters to come to the conclusion that he needs to be defeated, because at the end of the day Dirk is still hopelessly suicidal and like most problems the kids have, this is never addressed outside of ironic bullshit. (Not to him anyway, it’s kinda addressed in candy but I think if you’re talking about someone’s suicidal tendencies at their funeral it’s too fucking late).

But Detective Pony is ultimately a heavily veiled love letter to his friends. Detective Pony is Dirk exploring what he fears becoming, it’s him learning to let go, and eventually he relinquishes control of the book to the characters in it (as does Jeanne Betancourt).

Meat is Dirk’s notice of ownership over his friends. It’s him glorifying having become that thing he used to fear, it’s holding even tighter to everything he fears losing, and ultimately neither he nor Calliope trust the characters enough to pull back. They’re both obsessed with it, in both iterations, this battle between the two of them, even though it was never supposed to be about either of them.

But Detective Pony has an original story, with a timeline. It even has a second solid story for Dirk to come from, since Homestuck itself explicitly states when and why Dirk made it. When Detective Pony sits down to analyse which version of the text is better, it has that substance to fall back on. Jeanne Betancourt’s version is boring but kind. Dirk’s is interesting but cruel. And because the characters are all solid people, not their hazy ultimate selves, they have agency too, and can decide their own fate.

When Dirk analyses whose version is better in the epilogue, his whole reasoning is that neither is good. The characters rarely have any agency. Even the few moments, between Roxy’s void powers and Dave’s ability to stand up to Bro (which, by the way, so proud of him, how many people do you know who, in a situation where their childhood guardian and abuser literally became god and tried to thought influence them into doing something they kinda wanted to do already, would have the mental resilience to say “no, this isn’t me, stop that” and stand by that? Dave is the strongest goddamn character in this whole comic, holy shit), are only hints of who they were as real characters in the story. Dirk takes control, in one version, because he’s lost himself to Ultidirk, who’s overly concerned with how stories are supposed to be written, and tries to wrestle Homestuck into a shape he finds interesting. In the other, Dirk kills himself before he can hurt anyone. (And before anyone gets on my case about Dirk’s reasoning being he’s lost his purpose, his purpose was always protecting his friends.)

But Calliope’s not helping them either, just piling them full of romance and fluff and selfish parodies of themselves and thinking that’ll work out. Giving the villains “redemption” without ever actually letting them redeem themselves. Explaining all about their tragic backstories without doing anything with it. To bring back a very old quote, it’s like when Mario gets the star. He wins, but he’s denying himself many powerful moments of catharsis.

Just with less happiness, more death, and a bunch of weirdly political teen drama. And then when Calliope gets distracted by Ultidirk and gives up, everything unravels completely, but it also lets them live a life which does let some of the characters be happy, in a weird roundabout way. It’s dysfunctional as fuck, but these characters care so much for each other, not even being in a weird self melting fanon bubble could erase that completely. (And then things get buck fucking wild because this is still Homestuck we’re talking about)

(Though seriously, I could have done without the Jane is a fascist thing, she deserves better than that. Like what was the point of decrockertiering her if she was just gonna go right back to that? Also I love Dave but he barely has a leg to stand on in most of those political arguments anyway given how he completely destroyed LoHaC’s economy and once accused Karkat of communism for captchaloguing a chair. And while I’m complaining, Jake English is still not being allowed to consent to fucking anything.)

I’m not sure why this was written. I’m not sure why a lot of things in Homestuck were written, honestly. It’s certainly not a satisfying ending, but I don’t think it was supposed to be. It’s not disappointing either, and it’s definitely interesting, with all of Homestuck’s trademark humor.

When I first wrote this halfway through candy, I’d written the following as an ending:

“But if we’re going to triple kill the author, I think this is just ultimately validating everyone’s own interpretation of the ending. You can’t write everyone’s fanfic at once. You can’t be a cherub, or a god, we don’t write fic about people’s ultimate selves. What you can do is provide a timeline for them to exist in, and a better one, where they have a chance to be the people they have the potential to be. And just to be happy, in a way that feels real.”

But honestly, now? I think the point was just to fuck with us, and also do a fuckton of exposition about canon and the nature of reality

So fuck it, let’s end on a relevant Dirk quote

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck^2 re: Chapter 3 “How Are Your Feelings” p96-118

So, the next chapter appears to be about an attempted feelings jam.

I think it might be too early yet for the pursuing crew, so maybe we'll have a look at Karkat and Meenah?

Though if there's ever a way for the pursuing crew or Dirk's crew to meet up with the new teens, I'm fully expecting Vrissy to have a "mom?" moment re: Kanaya or Rosebot.

---

Page 96

OOoooh!! Okay, so I was wrong.

Hah, that does look like something Jake would do - build a fleet of wildy different space ships.

Plus, it's an emerald pirate ship... In pursuit of a great white whale- I mean shark. Hah!

So yeah... It's been three years since Rose and Kanaya were together. :/

I suspect the crew is made up out of Dave, Karkat, Jade (perhaps possessed) and Roxy. But that'd mean Jane had the run of Earth C for all this time, and Calliope is back there in a worsening political climate.

Hmmm... Maybe Roxy would have chosen to bring their partner along though. Even though Callie is upset by the presence of her other self. In any case, I wonder what they look like! Whether they're still a deadringer for Dave.

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Page 97

Pfff, what an exhaust pipe. I love the visual pun.

---

Page 98

Woooww, this reminds me of Problem Sleuth / Midnight Crew visuals! So purple though. Whose room is this, Roxy's? (It might be closer to violet than purple.)

Ooh boy, Calliope's about to take over the narrative. So she hasn't let poor Jade out of her grasp, or at least not definitely.

---

Page 99

D'aaaaahh, she's a frickin devil now. PFfffffffff, this is Dave and Karkat's room! Glad to see Davekat's still canon.

I bet this might be a recurring occurence, Jade/Calliope coming in at the most impossible hours bearing ominous tidings.

Hihih, so she's taken over the command box only for now. I suppose it's a clever way to show she could still take over the narrative is she was so inclined.

---

Page 100

Dave is more upset with Karkat than Jade, pffff.

---

Page 101

Ooooh, new outfits! Wait, Calliope made herself a new outfit. :/ She's getting comfortable in that new body.

Karkat has a Time shirt for a pyjama, hahah. I'm pretty sure he fell on his sweater, which probably still bears the Cancer sign.

Cool to have a squinting version of Dave's sprite. Now all we still need is one with his eyes wide open, but this is a start.

I'd start wondering if Calliope's starting to be a bit lonely, reaching out to Karkat and Dave like this with her message. And yup, she does it all the time. Dave's blasé about it.

---

Page 102

Welp! Jade's doing the Possesion 180-degree turn of the head now.

Return of the gross, oil-slick coffee machine from the meteor, maybe? :P

---

Page 103

Oh cool, at first glance Roxy's appearance is that jarring. Maybe her coup is a little shorter than before, but not as short as she wore it during the Meat epilogues, near the end. Guess she might be working through some of the same things as Candy Roxy and understanding she doesn't have to go all non-binary if that isn't where her heart is up at in.

Also, cool shades! Though, of course, a Heart is a bit of a faux pas perhaps, giving who they're chasing. :P

So Jade at least spent the first part of the voyage more silent. But as her powers grow, she has more control over Jade's body. :/

Cool, Dave has Karkat's shirt as part of his jammies. Roxy just went with a full on hoodie. At least I think it's her jammies, she's reading at the kitchen table but it's probably still night.

---

Page 104

Pfff. Welp. Yes Roxy, mirroring what you think your ancestors were doing ends up looking dumber when you actually meet them in person.

---

Page 105

ooooh, okay, so her hair is back to mirroring Dave's coupe. Roxy's hair is a bird pass it on. I love the sprite art, also of the kitchen itself.

Cool to have a comparison is size between meteor and this ship. Though with even less to explore, I can see how things might have grown dull around here. Also confirmation of Roxy's pronoun change, still a thing.

And I have a feeling Dave and Kanaya are in for a feelings jam.

Blaperile has a point, maybe Calliope commands the attention of the narrative, but she commands the narrative itself, so she can make the story follow Dave instead, as he goes to find Kanaya.

---

Page 106

Cool, even the inside looks like a pirate ship. Jake's quite taken with matters of appearances, practicalities be damned! :P

I suppose alchemizing a spaceship and a sailing boat would result in still a viable means to cross the void, the physics behind alchemization would ensure it.

---

Page 107

That appears to be a different hairstyle or hood. ... Is she wearing a grieving gown?

Maybe she's contemplating how she's ended up here, having to deal with another clown coming between her and her loved ones. I wonder how much harm she's wishing to heap onto Dirk, I mean.

---

Page 108

Aww, that rose in her hood.

And yup, Dave has it pinned down: they keep finding themselves either literally or figuratively chasing through the void, with no idea what's coming. You know, remembering how Dave saw the meteor as his first real home, I get the idea he might be the most in his element here. But he knows it's not a healthy pastime.

---

Page 109

She's wearing a ribbon much like Rose used to wear.

What story could Rose have reserved for reading to grubs, and what are the odds Vrissy knows the story as well, having been raised by Rose?

---

Page 110

It is on point for both Kanaya to read too much into Rose's story, as well as Rose putting all that symbolism in it on purpose.

... Aww, she's really hurting. But through the hurt she's started to wonder, perhaps in an attempt to limit her pain, whether she isn't being manipulated into feeling like this. At this point, it could really be either.

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Page 111

Wow. Okay, Dave's really opening up here to Kanaya. It was actually a relationship I didn't really see evolving due to both of their inherent awkwardness.

But that's Dave for you. If you find a place in his heart, he'll die before he lets you go into harm's way alone.

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Page 113

Turntable gesture! And okay, yes, via Dave it's shown Roxy's back to identifying male after the past few years.

Yes, his and Karkat shit has definitely changed, for one, Karkat almost unabashedly acknowledges they're matesprits back there in the kitchen.

And it's Kanaya who does the title drop after all, not Dave like I was starting to think.

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Page 114

Awww, yeah, Dave is really the only one left of the old B1 crew in a normal state of mind. Here's to hoping his brush with Davebot doesn't leave him in a state like Callie.

And yes, Dirk has shown his true colours, and Dave is feeling like a runt for ever thinking he could be different from his Bro. :/ Poor guy, I feel for him.

Meanwhile, he innocently hopes that Dirk's influence was the only thing causing Jane and Jake not being good leaders for Earth. Too bad we know the alternative is far from good.

Though he's also oversimplifying, since he himself said that Earth C society wasn't sustainable in the long run, they just sped things up.

Aww, he admits to feeling more in his element out here. Yeah, I very much understand that. It's easier to deal with fewer people in your social circles, a lot of the time.

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Page 116

Ah, the other side of the coin. Dave and Kanaya are bonding over Rose. Karkat and Roxy are kind of related as well through Dave.

Oooooh, so Calliope DID come along. Brave of her, with how "Jade" unnerves her so.

Karkat's right, the people that left weren't really so close to him as to others, he mostly here to support Dave! But of course we know he really would be good at leading at least a rebellion. Though it wouldn't really feel fulfilling either.

I wonder what's in store for Karkat, in fact, if it isn't to be a leader.

"KARKAT: I LITERALLY FOUGHT PEOPLE FOR CONTROL OF THE TEAM, AND WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING WAS LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS BESIDES KANAYA DIED. KARKAT: ACTUALLY, SHE DID DIE! KARKAT: FUCK! KARKAT: I’M ZERO FOR ZERO! ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO."

Best interaction. Is Roxy really going to help Karkat deal with something here? :P

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Page 117

Hah! Yes, well, I guess Karkat already has his win state the way he wants it! Though he's still feeling conflicted about it on some level, but that's just the type of person he is.

Roxy's REALLY gunning to make pancakes, hahah. Guess a part of her really is good at the whole caring thing.

---

I definitely like the pacing of the chapters so far. Good combo of visuals and conversation.

[drake-the-incubus]

Tried writing from my iPad, this is just some personal feelings on a character I felt could have had some more development. Or in which I’ve given Eridan depression.

Fandom: Homestuck

Warnings: Self Harm, Possible Abuse, Depression, Mentions of Genocide, Murder and Death mention, Loss of Reality, How to not deal with depression, Ableist type assistance, Characters mean well, Self-Depreciating thoughts. 

Characters: Eridan, Feferi, Sollux and Karkat

Notes: This was based off of a roleplay I did and my feelings with it. The narrative choice not to use his name is important. I’ll cross post to AO3 later and update this blurb.

I’m…

I’m alone…

I’m alone aren’t I?

Aren’t I all alone right now?

Alone right now, floating.

Where am I floating?

Where am I?

Where?

What…

What happened?

What happened…

To me? To them? To the meteor? To Jack Noir?

To us all.

Killed…

I was killed. I killed her.

Why am I so dead inside?

Why is it so numb?

I heard revving.

Fef? Feferi… she’s dead. I killed her.

Kanaya…. I killed her. She killed me. She was dead, she’s not dead, she was dead.

She glowed.

Everything is screaming, everyone is screaming.

Its silent.

I’m screaming.

—

Eyes shooting open a young troll gazed up at the Alternian Sky, the hues growing as the sun rose. He had been napping by the ocean, on the beach.

Panic overtook him as he looked over his body, pulling up his shirt, and staring at unmarred grey skin.

Running a hand over his midsection he felt sick to his stomach, taking a shuddering breath and closing his eyes. He remembered Vriska in orange. Gamzee bleeding. Kanaya glowed. They all lived together.

He killed Feferi.

A dream, it was a dream, right?

He gazed out to the ocean and saw it rife with blood. Blues, greens, browns, violets, purples.

A massacre.

That wasn’t right, if there were too many dead luscii then Fef’s wouldn’t be fed properly and it would kill all the lowborn trolls, and then Fef would be upset and he needed to fix this how could he fix this-

He did this.

His fault, his fault, it was all his fault.

He dug his clawed hands into the sand and screamed. Tears falling down his face as he was abandoned. Alone.

He killed his father, his friends, his species, he destroyed everything.

He was hopeless.

What a worthless prince of hope he had become.

—

Time had no meaning, the sun wouldn’t continue to rise as he stared at it, and he didn’t move. He was a horrible excuse for a troll, he would have been culled long ago, he should have been.

Feferi was dead because of him. Sollux, Kanaya and the matriorb were also gone.

He broke every bond he ever had.

Who was he kidding, WHO ever cared about him.

No one could love a monster. No wonder Karkat screamed at him, and called him such horrible things.

Of course he was nothing more than a-

The sand looked different.

—

He stared at her, eyes wide opened, confused, horrified, and defeated. Hers were white. Why were they white. Wait no. Maybe he could do something, make it up to her.

He stood up, sand falling from him in slow motion as he took a deep breath.

One apology, just admit what he did wrong, he could do that. For her at least.

“Hey… Fef… Feferi.” His voice wavered. He felt the tell of tears in his eyes as he quickly wiped it away before she could turn.

Her head snapped to him, staring at first in confusion.

Then in anger.

With a scream of anguish she tackled him, hands raised over his head, ready to bring them down on his face, anything.

He laid there, waiting for the strike. He deserved it. It was deserved, so why did he feel a tight sensation in his chest. Closed eyes were the best way to deal with this.

His eyes opened when instead of a punch, she rested her hands on his chest. Tears falling from her face, before she just crawled off of him and laid in the sand.

He went to offer his cape, but remembered he discarded it to… how could he.

“Feferi… I’m…”

“How could you Eridan? How could you… why did you kill them?”

He was taken aback, then closed his eyes. Of course.

“I didn’t mean to… I didn’t… I wasn’t…”

“You didn’t mean to? We’re DEAD! Gone! You killed us!!”

“I…” He looked down, and then back up. She was gone.

No… looking at the sand, she wasn’t there at all.

He cried.

—

Walking across the beach was weird, suspended in time, but never staying together. It was changing from his crimes to peaceful. Only never near the murderer.

Of course.

He didn’t deserve the beauty of the water.

He deserved to be dead.

—

She stood there, in the distance, he didn’t say a word, he couldn’t.

She stood there.

Was she ever there at all.

—

Staring at her, he had to do a double take. The same spot, every time. Was this Heaven or hell. Given what had happened, he could only say hell.

A punishment inflicted upon him for how horrible he was.

That gave him too much credit.

He wasn’t important enough to even receive divine punishment.

Walking over he had a mission.

Talk it through, admit his faults.

Die again.

A long shot wasn’t hard for him, he was a marksman.

However having abandoned his rifle, perhaps it would be.

“Hello…” That was courteous, beautiful. Any troll should be pleased with such a greeting.

Maybe not. He killed her in cold blood. He shouldn’t have killed her.

“No hard feelings, right, Fef?”

Feferi turned, and stared at him. Her eyes watered, before she lunged at him with a scream. Tackling him to the sand and straddling him. Once fist clenched around his shirt as she raised her fist. She brought it down only to stop at the last second and clench his shirt, giving a soft sniffle.

“Hi…”

Fighting his instincts for the hundredth time since waking up, he stared at her in confusion. Why didn’t she hit him, he deserved it. He deserved to be screamed at and hurt. This wasn’t normal.

“So… uh…” He was being awkward. Couldn’t he just fucking be a normal person and apologize. She deserved it, couldn’t he just open his stupid mouth.

“Fef, I didn’t… This isn’t what I meant to happen, I didn’t think it would and I certainly didn’t plan for it.” Excuses. Is that all he was good for?

“I wasn’t thinking right and things kept happening… and I killed you.” Her silence was killing him. He should have run. Why did he think he was good at anything, why didn’t he just abscond. What kind of monster talks to their victims.

“Eridan, shut up. Stop it.” She wiped her tears. A contrast to his dry eyes. “Why pretend that none of this happened on purpose, it’s stupid. You hurt me, Kanaya and Sollux… and it’s my fault.”

His heart broke as she continued.

“If I hadn’t run away from my responsibilities and decided to play the game, none of this would have happened. I discarded my responsibilities, like keeping you at bay, and now we’re stuck like this.” She rolled off of him and lied in the sand, looking at the coloured sky.

Guilt overwhelmed him, he felt awful, this hurt more than a punch. He deserved it. He could have just not been a shitty troll and she’d be happy. He stopped being flushed for her, but not soon enough, despite being long ago. He’d blame Sollux but he knew otherwise. The true person at fault.

“We’re not moirails anymore. It ended so long ago, and even if I had different intentions, it’s done.” Pain lacerated his heart. He was over her, but he hadn't recovered. One thing hadn’t faded, the pain of seeing her hurt. He always hated it. “Fef, I shot YOU. I killed you. We both know whose fault this is. I was a moron, I killed you and now I’ve trapped you here. I’m to blame. You deserved a break from me. I wasn’t thinking, but if it helps, Kanaya killed me, and was glowing… I swear this magic shit needs to stop.”

“I shouldn’t have fought you back.” He softly spoke. Feeling that to be true. He never should have fought back. Feferi should have killed him. He deserved it.

Taking one last glance at the sky, she sighed and looked at him, staring at his pathetic look, he thought.

“This is both our faults. I never thought about how ending our moirallegiance made you feel. I wasn’t only thinking of myself and that was wrong of me.” She looked away briefly, before looking back to him. Those white eyes a haunting reminder of how horrible he was.

No, she was wrong, she was so wrong and she didn’t even know it.

“I know how hard it is for you to say sorry. Especially when I don’t think either of us actually are.” She looked back at the sky. “There’s no point dwelling on who is or isn’t an idiot, we both are and were, but at least we’re not alone.”

She was wrong. She wasn’t an idiot. He didn’t deserve to be with someone, no matter how much he wanted to be. He hated that he made her feel this way, to put herself down.

But he couldn’t console her, he wasn’t sorry for anything but killing her. A monster like him couldn’t make her feel better. He could even justify killing her on his head. He deserved to be dead, she didn’t.

“Fef… you… You shouldn’t feel this way. You shouldn’t be dead, or at least, stuck with me.” He rolled onto his side to look at her better.

“I would go back and spare you if I could…” He twisted the rings on his fingers, looking down. “Sol too, even if I don’t think he deserves it. I mean it. Feferi, I mean it when I say I never intended to hurt you or kill you. I do care.” Something in him felt so heavy and he felt tears well up. “I’m not flushed anymore, and I think that’s a good thing, but I care.”

He took in a shuddering breath, tears falling down his face. “I didn’t think it would take dying to realize you were right.” He sat up, looking at the sky and stretching. What a useless thing for a ghost to do, but he felt a bit better doing it. “I’ll point out that I deserved to be hit, and I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

Closing his eyes he hugged his knees closer. “It was for the best you ended it. I do want you to be happy. Just… at that time I wanted to be the reason why.”

“I was angry. But punching you wouldn’t have solved anything. I still care about you. I do appreciate you trying to make me feel better.” She sat up as well, pulling one knee up and leaving the other overstretched, gazing over at him.

She shouldn’t care at all about something like him.

“You don’t have to lie to me about Sollux either. I know you didn’t like him.” She glanced down at her feet, sighing. “We weren’t going to work out anyway. I reminded him of who he liked, and it hurt, I’m still sore over it. It was probably the best we ended up this way. I probably would have been culled by the Condesce anyways.”

“What never!” Scoffing he crossed his arms, bringing his legs down and looking at her, “you would have been the best empress there ever was. And if Sol couldn’t see how great you are then he didn’t deserve you. You’ve always said there’s plenty of guppies in the sea, shore-ly you would have found your match.” He knew his fish pun days were numbered but he wanted to make her smile.

She didn’t deserve the pain she felt.

She did nothing wrong.

“Reel-ly Fef. I mean it. As a… potential friend,” he didn’t think it was right to call himself her friend after killing her, “I really think that. I know I don’t deserve to call myself your friend, but I want to change that. I want to deserve it. I want to deserve calling you my friend.” He gave a small laugh, “besides, on the whole punching thing, it would have solved the whole not being punched at all.” He looked at her. “Though how can you change the empire if you were culled, Nope, the Fef I know would have won and become the next empress. Leader of the Universe, and you would have changed everything for the better. We also were heading to god hood.”

—

Vanished. She too vanished. Was it his brain telling him to forgive himself instead of seeking forgiveness, or to give up because she’d never stay.

She stood there in the distance.

He turned away.

Voices called his name.

—

A chainsaw revs, he heard it get so close.

It missed.

—

Waking up, he panicked, looking around and sliding off the couch. He went into the lab, seeing the fuschia on the floor.

“ED woke up.” Someone called out as he stared at the ground.

“Great, the stupid seadweller woke up, give a prize, he’s lucky to be alive.” Came a grating voice, before a short troll walked in. Karkat. “Staring in enjoyment?”

His heart sank as he looked at him, then at Sollux. The other troll was… alive? His eyes looked fucked up. Karkat looked upset.

Swallowing he dug his claws into his hands, letting violet drip onto the floor. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I should have been a better troll…”

He knew their gazes were filled with hate as he turned around to walk away from the pair. Expecting them to call him as he was. He didn’t want to see it, he wanted to hide, he didn’t have his cape.

“Did you… just apologize? What the… Eridan Ampora, you fuckup of a troll, turn the fuck around and get back here.”

He didn’t listen, but didn’t expect the strong and painful grip on his arm, knowing Karkat drew blood, he didn’t turn to him.

“ED stop.” Finding out it wasn’t Karkat that grabbed him, he looked over in shock.

“Sit down. We need to talk.”

Numbly he sat in his chair. The two looked down at him, judging him.

“This isn’t the meteor.” Sollux started off with.

“Hey! Don’t tell the idiot that! We worked hard to recreate this place and you just give it away?!”

“Hey, KK, shut up. Look at him. He’s near tears.” He pulled Feferi’s goggles off, revealing his red and blue eyes, before putting his glasses on. “You’re ten sweeps old. Grow up.”

He looked at Karkat closer, noticing he was taller, and had the distinct mutant red eye colour. The culling drones would have killed him by now.

“I don’t care if he is! He ruined the session. He murdered people! Why are we bringing horrible people back to life, huh?! When did this happen Captor?!”

“FF asked us to.”

“I don’t care! He’s awful!”

He couldn’t take it anymore. Like he should, he dug his claws deep into his arm.

“You’re Right.” He muttered, knowing they wouldn’t hear. But they did.

The silence that came afterwards.

Sollux stared at Karkat before pointing at the door.

The mustard blood sat down in a chair and stared at him with disgust. It was obvious.

“You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

He went to open his mouth to agree.

“Keep your mouth shut ED. You hurt her, so many times, you never gave her emotional care and you only ever cared about yourself. But so did everyone else. No one really gave a shit about each other, and we all were fighting. You, Feferi, Tavros, Nepeta and Equius died. You didn’t kill me, though I was half dead.” He sighed. “And FF told me about the dream bubbles. She remembered all of her times there. You said you were sorry and regretted it.”

He looked down in shame.

“She said you did your best to make her feel better about everything. And you’re right, it’s not her fault, it is yours. If you didn’t kill GA and the Matriorb you’d have lived.” He snapped his fingers to get the seadweller to look up. “And yet, one thing bothers me. Fight back. You fought back with FF. That’s why you deserve to die. Bullshit Eridan.” He cocked his head. “You’re alive now.” He used his psionics to prevent him from digging his claws in further. “We went through a LOT of trouble to do so, so you shouldn’t kill yourself.”

“Just stop I don’t-“

“Want to hear this, too bad. Someone has to. You fucked up and the first solution was to blame everyone else, now you’re sitting in self-pity and self-hatred and you can’t tell me that you’re not trying to be your own shitty Kismesis. By the way our Quadrants weren’t right, fishdick.” He tapped the back of the chair, staring at him. “Feferi told me you would be upset when you woke up and asked me to talk to you. I-“

“Don’t bother, I don’t need your help So-“

“Would you shut the fuck up and wait for me to finish?!” He snapped bearing his teeth and eyes starting to spark.

Taking a deep breath he looked him in the eyes, “look, stop this self-hating bullshit. You fucked up but you’re not going to get anywhere with anyone by focussing on what a piece of shit you were.”

He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t. It was awful, he couldn’t take this anymore, and cried. Feeling pathetic.

“Eridan. She forgives you. Not in the way you want, she still feels uncomfortable about talking to you.”

“She shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Why?! I killed her-“

“Terezi killed Vriska and they’re matesprits, or something like that.”

“But that’s not-“

“You’re being a moron. Look. I’m going to be honest, I am just talking to you because of Feferi. I don’t want to talk to you, not because I hate you, but rather our petty bullshit is a stain on my life. You won the fight, she attacked you, and you killed her. Self defence and whatever.”

“That’s-“

“You were going to do something awful, did do something awful and died for it. Your anti-landdweller bullshit was fascist and genocidal. We all hated it. However you were a kid. So my advice, Eridan. Grow up. You’re alive, deal with it. I’ll come find your dead ass and beat it if you don’t. You’re not a monster, Gamzee is more of one and he’s still Gamzee or the clown.”

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Apologize when you’re not a self-hating prick who looks like you’d let me kill him.”

“I… that…”

“It’ll happen. Just catch up in age and wait.”

—

Eridan opened his eyes. He was on the beach. He was dead. He killed his friends.

He wasn’t going to dwell on it.

Thousands of years of self-loathing was finally enough.

[comicteaparty]

April 3rd-April 9th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from April 3rd, 2019 to April 9th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

What webcomic inspired you to get into webcomics?  Please tell us about your journey. 

lonelytuatara

there were several for me but I think Sakana was one of the biggest inspirations for me! http://www.sakana-comic.com/ since Mad talks a lot about her process with the comic it really helped make it feel less like some kinda magic that I didn’t know how to do and more like something I could try myself

RebelVampire

honestly i find this to be a difficult question. im old enough to remember when internet wasnt a thing. so when it became a thing, there were basically always webcomics. and it was just kind of like...a normal thing to be read on the internet just as much as anything else. i never saw it as a lesser medium as some ppl have experienced. it was just always there along with the internet so it always felt natural to me to read them if they seemed interesting. that being said, if i had to pick the first webcomic that ever made me stick around for a long time, it was Bleedman's Powerpuff Girls D fancomic. Besides the fact it was super popular at the time, i just thought it was really different. like the art popped a lot more than other comics at the time (that i knew of at least), the story was way less comedy more actually serious material, and just in general i enjoyed the story telling. https://www.snafu-comics.com/swmseries/powerpuffgirls/

Iris

homestuck was the biggest one for me, but others like Witchy, Lady of the Shard, and Tuppence for Stardust are also big inspirations

€heshire777

I kind of networked out from online newspaper comics into actual webcomics and beyond, it's kind of hard to tell but I think Skin Horse (http://skin-horse.com/) was pretty much the first webcomic I got into.(edited)

RebelVampire

cause a true hyperlink comes with the http part. http://skin-horse.com/

also please wrap the hyperlink in < and > so the embed is prevented. it keeps the chat cleaner @€heshire777(edited)

yes sorry XD

im multi tasking and didnt notice the wrong tag

€heshire777

S'fine

I know that guy from a different server too

RebelVampire

@Iris please make sure to link the comics next time https://www.homestuck.com/ http://witchycomic.com/ https://gigidigi.itch.io/lady https://tapas.io/series/tuppenceforstardust

Iris

oh crud, sorry. I'm tired and absent-minded this morning

Respheal

I'm a keenspace child apparently, 'cuz my first introductions to webcomics were Saturnalia (https://web.archive.org/web/20070705042710/http://www.spacecoyote.com/comics/sat/) and RPG World (http://rpgworld.keenspace.com/). Both are dead now, although RPG World has a sorta-creator-blessed fan revival (http://rpgworld.the-comic.org/) And then I sorta fell away from them for a bit, mostly, until a friend threw Mokepon (http://mokepon.smackjeeves.com/) and The Property of Hate (http://tpoh.smackjeeves.com/) at me and now I'm back xD

kayotics

I started reading webcomics back in the early 2000’s so I was consuming everything that was available, but I think the first one that actually made me think “I want my art to be like that” was The Meek https://www.meekcomic.com/ Up until that point I read mostly video game comics and they were funny but not inspiring me to make a comic. The Meek was gorgeous and interesting in a way that I hadn’t seen before.

varethane

A friend of mine made a webcomic in the early 2000s and I will not link it because it baaad, but that was my introduction to webcomics-- though when I started reading Terinu ( http://www.terinu.com/ ) and Lackadaisy Cats ( https://www.lackadaisycats.com/ ) was when I started wanting to make one of my own

The Meek and Gunnerkrigg Court were also early influences for me

oh, and hero! I loved this comic back in the day http://invisiblecities.comicgenesis.com/story.html

there were a handful of others that are no longer around, like Vampirates and Goodbye Chains and Astray3, all of which have vanished forever

Delphina

Acid Reflux (http://acidreflux.ficwad.com/) was the first webcomic I really got into back in 2000. The humor was a great blend of anime and light fantasy, which is definitely my happy place. The forum/IRC communities were big for the time too (and of course there was no social media back then outside of what people hosted themselves). When I started my own comic, one of my goals was to have a community like that.

varethane

yeah I totally used to hang out on the terinu forums and shared fanart and stuff XD

(and on my friends' forum which shall not be named)

Delphina

Yeah, standards were different back then XDDD

varethane

ohhhh yeahhh.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

The first webcomic I got into was Looking for Group https://www.lfg.co/. I'm a huge sucker for medieval settings, so my influences revolve around core fantasy, like Legend of Zelda and Lord of the Rings, but I also LOVE for my fantasy to not be taken as seriously with a good sense of humor, like LFG, Discworld, Dungeons and Dragons, and even The Adventure Zone. Seeing them create a graphic novel was sort of a catalyst for me deciding to make my own. I hope I do well for myself to contribute to the unique fantasy/comedy genre!(edited)

Brodnork

I actually started making webcomics before I knew they were a thing

When I was super young I made comic strips inspired by Calvin and Hobbes all the time

And when I got a deviantart account I started posting them

I think Calvin and Hobbes was a huge inspiration for my early work

Although I really started taking comics seriously when I started reading Cucumber Quest

https://cucumber.gigidigi.com/(edited)

Cucumber Quest

gigi

Calvin and Hobbes really inspired me to make comedy comics, and I loved the variety of backgrounds that were drawn in it

Cucumber Quest has lovely colours and a well written story, so I looked at pages from it a lot when I started teaching myself how to make colour palettes

magusferox

Anybody here read Kill Six Billion Demons? Epic stuff imo https://killsixbilliondemons.com/

€heshire777

Now I am

mika

i should make a tumblr page with all my favs

rae

for my old comic I put a bunch of my favs in the links section because I wanted more people to read them. XD

varethane

That's what I did too XD

though it's gotten a little bit out of date and I haven;t made a new one yet for my new comic

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

I keep my active reading list on ComicRocket these days (https://www.comic-rocket.com/users/SailorPtah/), and when they finish...or stop updating...I move them to the on-site reclist (http://www.bicatperson.com/links/references/finished-comics/).

Some of the oldest ones I remember reading are Venus Envy, Catball & Clown Girl, Boy Meets Boy, 1/0, Alternate Delusions, and girly. (So, also a Keenspace child, lol.) http://www.venusenvycomic.com/index.php http://catball.comicgenesis.com/ http://boymeetsboy.keenspot.com/ http://oneoverzero.comicgenesis.com/ http://altdelusions.comicgen.com/ http://girlyyy.com/

ShaRose49

The first webcomic I ever read was Michelle Phan’s Helios Femina, Just cause I was a fan of her makeup tutorials. I started reading it but stopped and then when I started making my own webcomics last year I got into it again, but the story turned out to be not my thing, but freaking gorgeous art. Then I got into Planet Ace, Shiori, and webtoons like UnOrdinary and Spaceboy, and The Villain. Just sooooo good brings back some great summer memories. http://planet-ace.smackjeeves.com/ https://m.webtoons.com/en/fantasy/helios-femina/list?title_no=638&webtoon-platform-redirect=true https://m.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-villain/list?title_no=188266&page=1&webtoon-platform-redirect=true https://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=143025 https://m.webtoons.com/en/fantasy/unordinary/list?title_no=679&page=1&webtoon-platform-redirect=true https://m.webtoons.com/en/drama/space-boy/list?title_no=400&page=1&webtoon-platform-redirect=true(edited)

RebelVampire

@ShaRose49 please wrap the links in < and > to prevent the embed

ShaRose49

Oh sorry!

Do you just stick the link in between <>?

€heshire777

yep

Make sure there's no space though

ShaRose49

Okeydokey!

I’ll definitely do that next time

ShaRose49

Oh can I edit?

I really don’t know discord that well

€heshire777

Hold click/press the message for options(edited)

RebelVampire

i think thats mobile only

on desktop you hit the three dots on the right

€heshire777

ah

ShaRose49

Fixed!

RebelVampire

thank you~!

ShaRose49

No prob thanks for helping me

€heshire777

sure

[attempted-writing]

a day well spent

fandom: Homestuck setting: Earth C summary: Dave and Karkat spend the day together warnings: food, under age drinkin(?), a tonne of fluff pairings: davekat word counter: 3715 author notes: my second fic, sorry it took so long. korina is a kind of wood and i thought it would fit as a name for a background character. also, thanks to @ejusticeonthenet for helping me name the story

A gentle voice softly sounded in the bedroom as Dave woke up his boyfriend. Karkat slowly opened an eye as he saw sunlight drip though the crack between the curtains before burying his head in the fluff of the bed again. “MORNIN DAVE” a dry voice came from somewhere between the sheets. “mornin? Dude, its 1:35” the troll now sat up in bed and got distracted for a moment. He knew his boyfriend sat next to him on the bed but he didn’t count on him being that close to him and it left him flustered for a moment. After feeling himself go red in the face he said “SO? ITS NOT LIKE THER’S SOMETHING HAPPENING TODAY” Dave looked at him with a sly grin after seeing him blush like that. “eh, I thought “the weather ‘s awesome, let’s go have fun time with the dude I love most” but if you’re not up for it I just might have to ask Dirk” Karkat sighed and as he turned to his side he answered “5 more minutes” “heh, sure, but don’t forget that I’m knight of time” the only answer he got was a murmur from the sheets that sounded a bit like fuck off strider. “I’ll have your “breakfast” ready in a bit” Dave responded teasingly.

True to his word the sleepy troll came down the stairs a couple of minutes later. The smell of freshly fried egg wafted from the kitchen to the living room. Dave had started to learn how to cook after the dust settled. He had asked john for lessons who taught him how to make a couple of dishes, one of which was how to fry an egg. After that he and Karkat ate eggs for breakfast for a week straight because “he needed to practice”. Truth be told, he did get quite good at it. With a little smile Karkat walked into the kitchen “SMELLS GOOD, MAN” Dave looked up from the pan and said “thanks, honey”. Karkat quietly giggled “HEH, YOU NEVER CALL ME HONEY”. “oh no, I just needed the honey for a sec” Dave said with a teasing smirk “NICE SAFE… HONEY”.

After a healthy breakfast the two left their house and headed for the park in the centre of town. As they walked they talked, about the house, about their friends, the party Rose and Kanaya are throwing next week and other small talk until they arrived at a bench in the park. The bench was in a beautiful spot, under the canopy of a big old oak tree that stood behind it and with a view of a small river that slowly flowed between the fields and tree clusters. it was busy with a lot of people swimming, sun-bathing, children playing and couples picnicking. “WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HOT” Karkat said as he wiped the sweat of his forehead “ITS ALMOST LIKE IM BACK ON ALTERNIA” Dave looked at him through his old and trusty pair of shades. Ever since they arrived on earth C he had been taking them off more often. When that started happening Rose praised him to high heavens for gaining enough confidence to do so, but on an day as sunny as this one he gladly made an exception. “well it’s a good thing I talked you out of wearing that thick fucking sweater you initially insisted on wearing” he said without a hint of seriousness “HEY, THAT THING WAS VERRY COMFY ON THAT GODAMND SPACE ROCK, OK. WE CANT ALL-…” Karkat had started yelling like he usually did until he looked at Dave who just stared at him with an expression that told Karkat “it’s a joke, fucking chill”. To give his boyfriend this look Dave had taken of his sunglasses and was now holding them in his hand. “OK, OK, ILL CALM DOWN” “thanks dude, people were staring for a sec” embarrass Karkat looked around and saw no one even glancing there way. “OK, HAHA, VERRY FUNNY” the troll said looking at his boyfriend with a face of annoyance as he playfully punched him in the shoulder, who only reacted by giving him a playful and teasing giggle. Dave was still holding his shades in his hand and Karkat noticed that. “HE DAVE, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?” he asked, Dave looked at him with a questioning look “yeah sure dude, what’s up?” “WELL… I WAS… WONDERING…” he started and Dave interrupted him as he stopped after one word for three times in a row “dude, whatever it is, it won’t be awkward unless you make it” Karkat looked at the ground for a sec, looked his boyfriend straight in the eye and asked “CAN I TRY ON YOUR SUNGLASSES”. Dave fell into a fit of laughter leaving Karkat as awkward as he made it “hehe, sure man, but hehe, why was that such a weird question” Dave asked still a bit shaky with giggles as he hands him the sunglasses. “WELL, I KNOW HOW IMPORTAND THEY ARE TO YOU, WITH THEM BEING A GIFT FROM JOHN AND HAVING WORN THEM THROUGHOUT THE GAME AND STUFF” he said as he put the glasses on his nose. Dave looked at Karkat and something was off. “THIS IS WONDERFULL, NOW I GET WHY YOU USED TO WEAR EM ALL THE DAMNED TIME” Karkat said with glee on his face… “wait, you’ve never worn sunglasses?” “EEH… NO… IT WAS THE TYPE OF STUFF ONLY BLUEBLOODS COULD AFFORD AND DURING THE THREE YEARS ON THE METEOR YOU ALWAYS WORE YOURS AND EQUIUS’ ARE ALL GROSS AND SWEATY AND BROKEN AND AFTER THAT I DIDN’T DARE PUT YOURS ON WHEN YOU WERNT LOOKING…” “aww babe” Dave said and Karkat looked at him with annoyance (Dave knew babe was his least favourite thing to be called and thus he called him that occasionally to “get his goat” as Rose put it). “Can I have em back now?” Dave asked after letting Karkat enjoy the thing for a bit. “SURE” Karkat answered with a smile and proceeded to not give the glasses back… “so, will you give em now” Dave said with an acted tone of losing patience in his voice “OH, FINE” Karkat answered annoyed as he handed the pair back to Dave “they didn’t really suit you anyway” Dave said when cleaning the lenses on his shirt “BULLSHIT, I LOOKED WONDERFULL” “no, not really”. Now properly annoyed with his companion Karkat raised his voice and said “FINE, LET ME TAKE A SLEFIE WITH THE THINGS ON AND SEND IT TO KANAYA, SHE’LL BACK ME UP ON THIS” Dave saw how determent he was and said “fine, but I keep em until she answers, if she agrees with you, they’re yours for the rest of the day” Karkat looked kind of shocked at Dave almost like he didn’t expect it to be this easy, or him to let him have something that was so valuable to him even if it was only for a certain amount of time. He eventually muttered something that sounded agreeing enough and Dave gave him the glasses. Karkat quickly ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it look a bit better, put the glasses on his nose and took a selfie. “good, can I have em back now” Dave asked. “HMM, NO THAT’S NO GOOD” Karkat said to himself loud enough for Dave to understand, and he snapped another selfie, and then another, and another and that went on for a couple minutes. “do you need me to take a pic?” Dave said annoyed at this point. “OH FINE, THIS ONE WILL HAVE TO DO” Karkat said to himself, send the pic to Kanaya and as he went to give Dave the glasses his phone buzzed. It was the reaction from their fashion savvy friend. “Oh Dear Lord, No, The Shape Of Those Glasses Don’t Fit Your Face At All. With Your Face Shape You Would Be Better Off With Something More Square” those were the first sentences from the message but Kanaya didn’t stop there, she went on about, colour and materials and a whole heap of fashion related info. Karkat was kind of taken aback by it. Sure, he liked clear answers that didn’t beat around the bush and that this pair wasn’t the ideal fit for him but it still left him with a bit disappointed, and Dave saw that. “guess she said no?” “YEAH… HERE ARE YOUR GLASSES BACK” Dave took the aviators and put them back were they always had been. After a bit of silence he asked “what did she write” Karkat took his phone back out and started reading the message Kanaya had sent. “ok, let’s go” Dave said as he got up from the bench. “GO WHERE” Karkat asked as his boyfriend took two steps towards the main path. The boy turned around and with a smile so cute Karkat’s heart skipped a beat answered “to get you a bitchin pair of shades, of course”.

The two walked hand in hand to the end of the park were they found a small shop selling news papers, ice creams, sun-block and other things one might want for a relaxing time at the park. The two stood in front of one of the racks with sunglasses and started looking for something that would fit Kanaya’s description. After a minute or so they narrowed it down to three. A pair of fake black wayfarers, a pair that was half plastic with a faux tortoise shell look and half metal, and a pair of rectangular see-through with mirroring glasses. “WHICH DO YOU LIKE” the crabby boy asked and his companion answered “well not those, that’s for damn sure” he spoke as he pointed at the see through  with mirroring glasses. “WHY NOT THOSE?” “Couse every time I look at you I don’t wanna be reminded of my own fuckin face. I’ve seen enough Daves for a lifetime” he added with a grin. “WELL OK, NOT THOSE I GUESS” “how about those” Dave said wile pointing at the half plastic model. Karkat put them on and looked at Dave “they work I guess” he said with a tone in his voice that sounded like he wasn’t sold on the them. Karkat looked at the little mirror above the rack. “OH HELL NO, I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TOOL” Karkat said maybe just a little bit too loud. “guess that only leaves one, huh” “YEAH, I GUESS” the two agreed. Karkat put the wayfarer copy on his nose and looked at the mirror and then at Dave and they both agreed  again and went to the checkout. “these please” Dave said handing the shop keep the glasses. “ah, yes, these sell like hot cakes” the man said to just start some banter with customers “they sell so well, a new shipping arrived this morning”. “oh ok, anything interesting with that shipment?” Dave asked politely. He was still kind of new to the “polite banter at the till” thing due to bro’s lousy attempt at raising a kid. After they arrived on earth C Rose and Kanaya had taken him clothing shopping a couple of times and after he was very rude to the personnel in the first shop they went to, the two girls gave him the speech of a lifetime. “oh yes, of course” the man answered enthusiastically “you see, the colours are always the first to go, so that’s what the biggest part of it is” now Dave moved closer to the man behind the counter and whispered something to him and the man nodded “yes I have those, I’ll be right back sir” and he walked off through a door. “WHAT DID YOU ASK” Karkat said to Dave who with a tease in his voice answered “you’ll see”. After a moment the man came back “sorry it took so long, they were all the way at the bottom of the box” he said as he put a pair of sunnies on the counter similar to those Dave just gave him but this one had a bright red frame. Karkat looked at the glasses and then to Dave… and back to the glasses and now to the shop keep. “just out of curiosity, how often do you sell this color to trolls” Dave asked while looking at Karkat “oh very often, in fact I think they are a lot more popular with trolls than with humans… is there a problem, sirs?” Karkat looked at the thing and back to Dave until eventually “SIGH, OK”. Dave looked at him with an adoring smile as he gave the man the boon dollars asked for the thing. With a grin on their faces and a greetings from the shop keep the two walked back into the park.

The two walked in a comfortable silence until they reached a fountain where Dave said “oh dude, this is the perfect spot” Karkat, kicked from his thoughts asked “FOR WHAT?” “a picture of course, we’re gonna need to show Kan we put her advice to good use”. It might have been a hobby of Dave’s years ago but he still took photography very serious. Karkat had never seen Dave quite this exited. He watched as his boyfriend walk around checking the lighting and walking back and forth between a couple of places ‘hey Karkat, mind getting over there for a sec?’ Dave spoke kicking Karkat from his adoring daydream. ‘OH, SURE’ he quickly answered trying to act as natural as he could and failing. He walked over to the spot that was pointed out and Dave started messing about with the phone until he said “ok, smile”. Karkat was rather uncomfortable. It just felt strange, this whole situation. He thought it would just be a simple picture with a simple phone and Dave was treating it as high art or something. While Karkat was zoning out again Dave had gotten up, drew a line in the dirt path were he had first been and walked over to him. Karkat snapped out of thought as Dave wrapped his arms around him. He started blushing a bit and a moment later asked in a hushed voice “eeh, Dave, why?” “Couse you were somewhere else” Dave said as he lifted his head from Karkat’s shoulder and looked him straight in the face as he felt his face go red. “will you now smile for the camera?” Dave asked still hugging the troll “…yeah …sure” he eventually replied. Dave walked back to the place he had marked, got on one knee and took a picture of the awkwardly smiling Karkat. After a couple of pictures Dave asked him to strike a pose. Karkat made a flexing pose as awkward as his smile. “next pose” Dave said and Karkat struck a new pose a bit more confident this time and his confidence grew every time Dave had asked for a new pose. This continued for a while until Dave said all t the good lighting was gone. That made Karkat look up and only then noticed the sun had crept behind the tall trees surrounding the fountain.

They walked to the exit of the park and talked about what to do next. “I was thinking we could go to a restaurant and score some food n’ drinks n’ stuff” “NAH, I DON’T REALY FEEL LIKE IT… THER’S A MOVIE ON LATER TONIGHT I’D LIKE TO SEE”. Dave looks at his boyfriend a bit disappointed “aww dude, I was looking forward to taking you out to dinner” Karkat sighs “OK, HOW BOUT THIS. WE STEAL TEREZI’S THING AND FLIP A COIN”. Dave agrees with a nod and hands Karkat a coin. Karkat flips the coin and as the piece of metal twirls through the air Dave says heads. Karkat catches the thing and shows the result, it came up heads. The two walk to the centre of town. Dave noticed that Karkat was deep in thought again “how bout you pick the place” the troll boy looked up at his matesprit and with a friendly smile he answered “SURE”. They strolled through a street filled with shops, cafés and restaurants and people looking through the store windows, having drinks right outside café’s and people having a good time in general. The pair walked until Karkat stopped in front of a sign that read

“Tony’s Italian cuisine

- Pizza 10$

- Spaghetti 8 $

- Lasagne 12:50

Bar open after 7 o’clock

No reservation needed”

Karkat looked at Dave and before he could get a word out Dave said “looks good to me”. The two enter the restaurant and took a place. “WHAT IS LASADGNEY?” Karkat asked Dave who looked up with a smirk and answered “Dunno, but lasagne is a pile of dough leaves separated with tomato sauce”. Karkat question wasn’t really answered by this but at least he now had some idea of what he could get himself into. A waitress appeared, introduced herself as Korina and asked for their orders. Dave decided on pizza right away, it’s one of his favourite dishes but Karkat hesitated for a moment until he asked her the same question he asked Dave. After an explanation that was a bit more in depth Karkat’s decision was made, he was having lasagne. The waitress asked “would you like a drink while you wait?” Dave looked at the menu one more time and said “I’ll have a beer” Karkat looked at Dave and said “I’m having what he’s having” a moment later she returned with two cold beers, foaming white on top and a pale yellow shining through the fogged up glass. The two talked a bit till the drink was half gone and the waitress returned with the food and after having warned Karkat that not just his dinner but also the bowl it was served in was hot, the two dug in.

After the plates were cleaned the two had desert with ice cream and when all the food was gone it was about 7:30. “wanna move to the bar” Karkat’s eyes shot up from the table straight to Dave’s eye’s. Dave had taken his sunglasses off right when they walked through the door of the restaurant and after having peeked into the red eyes of his boyfriend for a moment he answered “SURE”. The two did just that and sat at the end of the bar with Dave between Karkat and the wall which was adorned with beautiful pictures of the Italian country side. A waiter came over to them and took the order of two more beer. They talked about this and that until a couple of glasses were emptied and the two started to feel the effects of the drink. Karkat once again was lost in thought and Dave was just about done with that. “ok dude… you’f been, zoning out all vucking day… what’s up” Dave said as Karkat slowly turned his head to try and keep it from spinning. Trolls react differently to alcohol than humans, it effects the balancing organs earlier but on the other hand they don’t feel “drunk” quite as quick. Karkat sighed and with the same motion closed his eyes. “IT’Z NO USE SAYING IT’Z NOTHIN RIGHT?” a little smile played around Dave’s mouth when he answered “nope” “SIGH… FINE, FINE.” The crabby boy muttered “DO YOU… D’YOU EVER WONDER HOW ZHE VUCK YOU GOT WERE YOU ARE IN LIFE…” Dave looked at Karkat with a raised eyebrow but Karkat continues “AND WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE PEOPLE YOU’RE WIV… AND JUST… YOU JUST” Dave started tapping his fingers with annoyance but still Karkat hasn’t shut up. “AND THE THINGS YOU DO TOGETHER AND… THE LOOK ON THEYRE FACE WHEN… WHEN…” Dave has had enough of this useless muttering “spit it out Vantas”. Karkat tore his eyes from his boyfriends and looked at the 2/3s gone glass of beer in front of him “SIGH… HOW DID AN ASSHOLE LIKE ME GET THIS CLOSE TO AN AMAZING PERSON LIKE YOU” he spoke as his eyes started getting teary. Dave just sat there. Looking at Karkat with a happy, tender and intoxicated smile. Till one word escaped his lips “dude”. Karkat looked him straight in the eye and made Dave tear up as well. The two without saying one more word got up at exactly the same moment and hugged like they rarely did before. With this face buried in Dave’s shirt Karkat whispered “I just love you so vucking much” and Dave answered with a similar, shaky and tear riddled voice “I love you too man”. Some other patrons saw the hug and looked on endeared. The two employers who happened to be at the other end of the bar whispered to each other “oh that’s cute… we’re going to have to stop serving em aren’t we?”

But it wasn’t necessary to stop serving them because after the two had finished their glasses, payed the tab and left with their arms around each other’s shoulders. When they got home it was just passed 10 o clock. “it’z a bit early to go to bed isn’t it” Karkat looked up from taking off his shoes “WELL, ZHERE IS THIS ROMCOM I WANTED TO SEE… WE COULD WATCH THAT” “you know what, sure”. they sat themselves down on the couch with some snacks and something to drink that wasn’t alcoholic and when they got to the channel that broadcasted the movie they found it had only just begun. It was a troll movie so it was all new to Dave but Karkat had seen it 10 times already but it’s one of his favourites, so he wanted to see it again. the two fell asleep during one of the commercial breaks with Dave resting his head on Karkat’s lap and Karkat with his arm across Dave’s chest. Dave woke up in the dead of night. The movie was long over and the channel was now broadcasting infomercials. He looked at Karkat who was in a deep sleep. He turned the tv off, lifted Karkat off the couch and put him in bed, got in next to him and fell in a deep and dreamless sleep.

[blaperile]

Homestuck^2 - Reactions Chapter 7 “Distress Call From The Closet” (Pages 170 - 191)

Chapter 7: "Distress Call From The Closet"

abundantChewtoys is probably right that this is referring to the closet Vriska, Vrissy and Tavros are currently hiding in!

The question is, who will they be calling?

At first I'd think Harry Anderson, but if Jane's sending her troops over there they might need more back-up then that. Will Vrissy call upon her mothers and/or the rest of the resistance to get them out of there?

Oh man, I really hope they're all gonna join the resistance.

Page 170:

Yup, that's indeed the scene we're headed back to!

Page 171:

Pffahaha, yup, Harry Anderson definitely didn't see this coming.

I love how they also have Instagram on Earth C... At least they didn't name it Vriskagram here. Though that would have been hilarious. :P

Let's see what Harry Anderson can think of... is he going to call John??

Page 172:

Pffff, yeah I can imagine Rose and Kanaya would be very angry about what they did on one hand, and on the other hand probably be happy that Gamzee is out of the picture.

Oh wow, we're going to Roxy's home! Looks like we'll be seeing some of Roxy and John's stuff then! :O

It's interesting how we're explicitly avoiding seeing any of the adults here on Candy Earth, with the exception of Jane and Jake. I wonder if it's going to remain this way, that we won't see any of the others?

Page 173:

Wait what? They had Gamzee's body with him?

I thought they'd dropped him in the hallway when the sprinklers went off?

So uh... are they just going to leave him here then? I wonder what will happen to his body in that case. Is Jane going to retrieve and revive him?

Page 174:

Pfffff, oh Vriska.

Don't tell me we're gonna see the door close now, and then get a sign he's still alive after all?

After all, if there's one thing we've learned, don't turn your back on the body!

Page 175:

OH MAN, MEENAH AND KARKAT! :O

I love how my theory I just wrote a couple of pages ago, about explicitly avoiding seeing any of the adults around (except for Jane and Jake) was immediately shot.

So, just goes to show that it IS possible we'll still be seeing both Meat AND Candy versions of particular characters (other than Dave)! Seeing as we've first had Meat Karkat, and now Candy Karkat.

Pfff, yeah, that description does sound like a pamphlet would phrase it. Especially considering Karkat didn't like being called Commander, like he told Swifer. :P

For a second I thought Meenah had a golf club, until I realized it's her hair. xD

Oh yeah, I wonder what they're gonna look like!!! All those descriptions of Karkat have been pretty badass, with his eyepatch and all. And I just wonder what an older and alive Meenah would look like. Does she look somewhat like The Condesce now?

Page 176:

Yeah, I can understand they wouldn't let Karkat participate in the most dangerous operations. It happens all of the time despite his wishes, haha. Just think of when Kanaya made him sleep on LOFAF so he wouldn't risk his life in battle.

Pfff, so Swifer is also still around! And near them, not just tending to the Mother Grub in their hideout then.

It was to be expected that Karkat wouldn't mind Gamzee being dead. Karkat suffered enough from that douchebag.

I love how anticlimatic Meenah is reacting to the news of Vriska being here.

The question is, are they now going to head over to retrieve these people and secure them within the rebellion?

Page 177:

Oh wow!!! The response to Gamzee's death is way different than I would have thought. I'd thought it would make people more angry at Karkat, but no, they're getting angry at Jane! That's a positive side-effect I had not expected.

But yeah, like Karkat is saying, better be careful that Jane doesn't use it to her own advantage either.

I like how all those people are using that ICP clown symbol.

Page 178:

OH SHIT! :O

KARKAT IS GOING TO CONTACT JOHN??? Is John finally going to appear in Homestuck^2??? I'd really started fearing he'd NEVER show up!

...And watch this be a psyche and Karkat contacts Harry Anderson instead, seeing as it's also an Egbert. xD

Ooooh, look at that eyepatch. I love it, and we haven't even seen the rest of Karkat yet. I like how they're teasding their appearances but not showing them just yet.

Page 179:

!!!!

Look at that house! I really love the design. The slick white design reminds me a bit of Rose and Roxy's old homes.

And it's even located near the coast! Maybe Roxy wanted that, because she grew up in the middle of the ocean?

OH BOY JOHN'S CAR. JOHN IS HOME. ARE WE GONNA SEE JOHN NOW???? :O

I wonder if he's still got that moustache that the Epilogues referred to.

The question is, will John already have received the call from Karkat by now?

And what kind of car did Harry Anderson provide his friends? A clown car? :P

Page 180:

OH SHIT!!! So that part of the Candy Epilogue was taking place NOW! :O

That perfectly explains why John hadn't showed up yet until now. Oh hell yes! :D

Just look at them... John and Roxy definitely look like themselves, except older of course.

Welp, too bad John already shaved that moustache apparently. Oh well, at least we got to see Jake's moustache. :P

So yeah, what we saw at the end of that Epilogue conversation was that John and Harry Anderson would be going for a ride. Is John going to receive that call from Karkat during that ride?

I like that they didn't forget to draw those glasses of water that Roxy explicitly retrieved from the kitchen at some point during that conversation.

Page 181:

Oh wow, I didn't think they'd be arriving so soon! Too bad we didn't get to see the car they came with, haha.

Oh Harry Anderson. You sure got your priorities straight. He really is John's son. The TRUE pranking master. xD

Page 182:

Oooh, look at Roxy. Her outfit reminds me of Rose's Mom!

I like that she does look happy, after all that just happened between her and John.

It's probably not going to happen, but it would be so hilarious if she notices that they're hiding behind the bushes.

Page 183:

Pfff, oh Tavros. Feeling a bit jealous here.

I wonder what Harry Anderson's room will look like! Will it resemble John and Roxy's old rooms a bit, or will it be something else entirely?

Page 184:

Hey look, a command! The first time here in the Candy chapters. Of course it's a totally nonsensical one. :P

That... wow, that's DEFINITELY something else entirely than John and Roxy's old rooms.

Is... is that a Pokémon poster??? :O

Don't mind me, just fanboying here as a big Pokémon fan, but now I'm very curious to hear about Harry Anderson's interest in Pokémon. xD

Ahahaha, I love how the narration is like a classic Homestuck introduction! Despite missing its kid. :P

So, he likes musicals and sewing clothing! That's definitely something else than his parents! That's pretty fascinating, I kinda hope we'll hear more of those interests later.

And goddammit, if for some reason we ever have a musical flash, HARRY ANDERSON MUST SING IN IT.

Does... does this mean Pokémon is a musical here? :O

Page 185:

Sprite Mode! :D

Vrissy's Sprite Mode reminds me a bit of Aranea.

Page 186:

Pffffff, that's NOT the reaction I expected Vrissy to have to this. I thought she would be weirded out, but nope, she's loving it. xD

Also, I love how Vriska's casually trying out Harry Anderson's stuff. Is she gonna settle on one of them and take it with her?

Page 187:

Oh man, Vriska's going to settle on this one, right? It's Terezi's colour after all. That would be pretty sweet.

And Vrissy's sure having some doubts. I mean, Vriska didn't want Vrissy to become more like her, but it seems Vrissy doesn't know what SHE wants.

It'll be interesting to see what path she takes.

Page 188:

There he is! I assume John just dropped Harry Anderson off and left then? And Roxy's presumably still at the store.

But yeah, what ARE they going to do now? Is Harry Anderson going to run away from home with them all, and will they all join the rebellion?

Or are we going to see John as he receives Karkat's call?

Page 189:

Wow... look at John. I love the way he's animated here.

But uh, abundantChewtoys has got a fair point. How is he receiving a call on his phone... when Vriska swiped his phone earlier?

Let's say that indeed he had two phones on him, like a sensible person. :P

Let's say that when Terezi left to go back to the Furthest Ring, John kept using that phone to keep in touch with Terezi and eventually switched to another phone for the rest of his business and that it's just that first phone he's now lost.

Ahahahaha, this interaction with Karkat. John's completely clueless. I wonder what his reaction is going to be!

I mean, he won't mind Gamzee being dead, but what will he think about the rest of it?

Page 190:

OH MY GOD. JOHN. XD

He's finding this WAY too funny. Ahahaha, I guess he's probably also compensating a bit for all those negative emotions he'd been feeling up to this point.

John and his facial expressions. NEVER GETS OLD.

Page 191:

MOOD WHIPLASH AHOY.

Oh god... John's got a plan??? Oh man, what's he gonna do?

Uptil now, he refused to involve himself in the rebellion because he felt he didn't care enough about what was happening, but maybe now after his talk with Roxy he's finally got everything he needs to side with the rebellion?

I can't WAIT to see what John's got in store.

I'm so PUMPED for this. I'm so relieved that he's actually still going to be relevant in this story, I'd actually become afraid he wouldn't appear or only barely.

Things are definitely kicking into gear in this timeline!

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi Meat, p5 reaction

Meat Page 5.

We might be due another perspective switch - unless the plot stays with John until he's assembled all his friends.

When John goes to pick up Rose, it’ll probably be on LOLAR. Terezi might still be there, if she hasn’t gone clownhunting just yet.

If so, perhaps we’ll get to see whether Rose ‘n Terezi’s migraine was really due to the substance abuse + caleidoscopic colours of LOLAR + glitches… Or whether it was due to the GO timeline “supposed to” have gone differently, with John’s current retcon being the thing missing to happen. It takes a bit of effort, remembering what everyone was exactly up to on this part of the GO timeline and what would be a fortunate time for John to take it off the rails. For Kanaya, that might very well be the moment Jane set up her literal shop on LOFAF, selling her all those blood potions, for instance.

For Dirk, it might be before his conversation with Arquiusprite.

I'm getting the feeling that John might be jumping to exactly those moments in the scenes where the characters were at their lowest, self-esteem wise. Giving them a literal second breath. ;)

Not sure what we can expect from the ghost side of things though. I think they might not be duplicated, leading us to meet up with (Vriska) as we knew her, punk cut and all. Even though GO Terezi's ghost will be there with her too.

I'm half convinced Calliope will get copied somehow, but not entirely sure. The only 'real' duplicate Calliope had already, besides Alt Calliope, was her dreamself. He could snatch the body, but I was under the impression Caliborn consumed it in a literal sense to establish his dominance over the body.

Meanwhile, it occurred to me to that Andrew Hussie (the author avator) will make a comeback, probably a background cameo. I've only now realized that he's a literal ghost writer of his own story right now, in-canon. While outside of canon, he’s more becoming like Stan Lee, executive producing stories using characters he designed.

Anyway, let's start this up.

---

"The stands of the Cantown Memorial Arena" Okay, my first thought was this takes place on the meteor, but yeah, it's a building named presumably after the literal Cantown WV build in his station, back on Earth. Or the Exile Town that Bec Noir massacred. Though, does this indicate a perspective switch back to Roxy... Or is the CMA where Rumble in the Pumpkin Patch is recorded? Probably the latter, meaning the perspective is switching back to Dave! Uh, the alpha version, I guess I should call him? Post-canon, adult Dave?

"His shit eating was so brutal that no one, except maybe Jake, cares that he’s taking a phone call in the middle of a live broadcast." So, was it staged, or did Jake really get a power boost, coming into his role as the Page?

Also, I feel like if Karkat's run for president gets announced by Dave on live television, "and the crowd goes wild" will apply here.

"Dave takes a seat on the couch, right in Karkat’s butt groove." Okay, so he's not going just yet. ... Karkat's butt groove is available because the latter absconded the fuck out last we saw him, hahah.

"a piece of absolute garbage." Callback secured.

"DAVE: while the beatdown you just received was as thorough as it was humiliating im afraid as usual the solution to this problem should probably not involve your decapitation" While Dirk might be the one to keep this beaten dead horse of an in-joke going, Dave isn't going to be the one to cut its head off and end its misery. :P

"DAVE: jake just kicked your ass DAVE: thats really all there is to say on the matter" AWWWWW yessss, hahahahah. Dirk's laid down, on the ground, on his smartphone, just like Dave was after his beatdown by Bro. Awesome callback.

"DAVE: its really amazing how this meme we have going here continues to be exactly as funny as the day it was established DIRK: Isn’t it always though? DAVE: yeah" That's Strider Irony at its finest for you. You never can be entirely sure non-sincerity is what's taking place here.

" DAVE: how DID you get your ass kicked so bad DAVE: jake sucks and his raps are fucking awful" Oh, scratch that thing about his power level, then. ... The rapbots didn't join in to beat Dirk down, did they? ... Though I would like to see either them or their zilly versions again. :P

"

On the TV, Dirk makes an elegant hand sign that once might have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but now has been utterly divorced from its cultural context here on Earth C." Is it a sign associated with... the ICP? Yes, I guess whatever 'references' the kids make get picked up as divine decree...

"The camera pans away from him and over the crowd. It zooms in on a young crocodile wearing an oversized T-shirt with Jake’s highly marketable ass plastered over it and the phrase “Tally ho” written in big bubble letters." ... including stuff that was already dated when the gods were still actual kids. (By which I mean the phrase, not Jake's marketable ass.)

"DIRK: Holding back a little to achieve certain results doesn’t necessarily mean you’re participating in a farce or rigging the event. DIRK: We do this all the time. We hold back our thoughts, our true feelings, our full potential. We disguise how much we know about what and when, for many purposes. To ease relations, to let others behave naturally and make up their minds without undue intervention. To wait for the right moments to show our hands, to pick our battles. " Dirk is still overthinking things. :P He's also still a schemer, even though he's grown more mature. I think in this case, he might be trying to keep up Jake's taste for adventure and hone his skills? That might be related to the fact that he's one of the few in the know of what John is up to (also a thing he's withholding right now), and he might be trying to get Jake battle-ready in case he needs to be. ... In case he doesn't believe they'll stay irrelevant to the plot.

"DAVE: my dog you are full of some SHIT today arent you DIRK: Absolutely." It's a good thing Dave can see Dirk typing, otherwise I might have asked whether Dirk may have reinstated an autoresponder to answer when he's busy. :P

"DIRK: And when it comes to theater, there are just as many reasons for restraint. To build tension. To set the stage. To give the people someone to root against." Okay, that's actually kind of meta. Also, in-story, it might mean Dirk is deliberately trying to come off as weaker, to get people to boo at Jake so he can play hero?

"DAVE: i can see you on tv DAVE: theyre booing you dude" Okay, never mind.

"The excitable salamander manning the camera switches to a fish-eye lens for some unfathomable reason, giving the whole exchange an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglasses distort and stretch to dominate the entire screen." I'm all here for NPC races doing menial labor half-way competently. :P Also, I feel like there should be some sort of visual callback to that image of Dirk's sunglasses. Something to do with the black hole from Problem Sleuth expanding to suck the entire universe up, which was reflected in the Stiller shades, and the event in itself is being called back to now, in the Black Hole sucking up the Furthest Ring!

"JAKE: What about the agitated rabble? Theyre starting to throw things. DIRK: I don’t know. Do a dance or something. Sing a song. DIRK: They love anything you do. JAKE: Ummm. JAKE: Ok sounds stupid but ill try." Using Jake's charisma as crowd control? Dirk, you beautiful mastermind.

"Jake tips an imaginary hat toward center stage and begins doing the Charleston." Hah, right, this might be a callback to that other Page dancing old-time dances, hahah, Tavros after he assembled the ghost army.

"Just as Dirk predicted, the crowd immediately loses its shit, except for a single carapacian in the front row, who continues to glower at Dirk with an expression of absolute and total contempt." If Jack hadn't remained in the session, I would've designated this guy as his great-whatever-grandchild.

"DAVE: why do you want people to hate you so much DAVE: its fucked up DIRK: You’re reading way too much into it." I don't necessarily believe that.

"DIRK: If I wanted another round of embarrassingly indulgent and mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I would have called my daughter instead. DAVE: hm DAVE: do i need to point out how fucking weird what you just said was or can that start going without saying at this point" This. This is Homestuck. This entire exchange.

" DIRK: The point is, playing myself up as a villain figure in this hacky rap pageant has nothing to do with getting people to dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good villain. When they boo, they don’t really mean it." That has me thinking of Thog, a villain from Order of the Stick, actually. But yeah, Caliborn, Condy and others were really good villains. Doesn't mean we didn't mean it when we cursed them, though.

"DIRK: I think you’d be surprised by how popular I actually am. DAVE: i dunno man" At some point, playing the villain stops being a role, if you're too thorough in antagonizing the crowd. Dirk may have gone overboard here - in his role in the pageant I mean, I don't think anyone loves their god any less. Just one more way to show that, victory state or not, their original issues still come into play and challenge them to grow.

"DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma. DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital. DAVE: political capital" ... Oooooh! Thinking three steps ahead of everyone again, nice going Dirk! I think Dirk might even have foreseen Dave rallying Karkat to stand against Jane, but I wonder which side he'll be choosing!

" DAVE: what the fuck are... DAVE: ok how long have you known about the jane thing DAVE: i mean is this something you have been planning for like DAVE: a long time or DIRK: Planning is such an intense word." Oh, he's trying to pull the strings again, is he? What game is he playing then, what policies does he want to instate, if any? ... Is Dirk a supposed xenophone too, or just playing to the tune of the largest group of swing voters?

" DAVE: jane is a shitty candidate dude DAVE: shes going to be so shitty DIRK: I thought you’d feel that way." ... Pfff I just realized Dirk wasn't typing, since this was a phone call. He's saying this all out loud! Typing's the old way of conversation, we discarded it for the most part, everyone has their Gift of Gab now. Well, hopefully at least Dave's part isn't being recorded and broadcast.

"DIRK: I respectfully disagree. DAVE: i get shes a good friend of yours and all but even you have to admit how far up her own ass she is DIRK: Of course. I consider it to be among her best qualifications for the job." Dirk might just be thinking: a self-absorbed candidate won't notice being pulled around. Even though she's, you know, his dear friend and all, he's still planning on manipulating her. :/ Old habits and such.

"DAVE: christ DAVE: ok if nothing else have you at least taken into account the DEVASTATION to the economy this will cause???" Strider Irony(tm).

"DIRK: Dave, I think if you search your soul, you’ll come to the same conclusion I have. Jane is just what this planet needs. DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition. DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place." Oh, cool, so Dirk was acting on the same things Dave noticed, just having drawn different conclusions. Guess there's more to playing god as a winner of Sburb than sitting on your butt all day long, huh?

"DAVE: i know that DAVE: which is why actually i think it would be cool to have a president that is good instead of bad DIRK: He’s not as great as you think. DAVE: what" See, I know Dirk'll say Karkat, but I kind of wish he'd say Obama. :P

"DAVE: who DAVE: obama?? DAVE: how dare you" XD PFFFFFffffhah, okay, should've seen that coming.

"DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly." Like, I understand where Dirk's coming from, we know how unbalanced Karkat is at his worst. But Dirk's seems to be the conservatist route, while the current status quo is so unbalanced someone with at least a little liberal thinking should try changing policy, little by little. ... Okay now Homestuck has me doing political discourse. Hussieeeeeeee! ... Why am I now picturing a Homestuck AU about the climate change truant student marches of Europe?

"DAVE: wait DAVE: how do you even know hes entering the race DAVE: we like just decided this DIRK: A competent political operative has his ways. DIRK: Besides, it was always pretty obvious to me you’d react this way the moment the announcement was made." Okay, not ruling out entirely Dirk has something spying on Dave, but that would verge too much on what Bro would've done in his place. He probably just cold-mindedly assessed his potential response.

"DAVE: cause if youve already got jake on your side then i guess we might as well just fucking quit DIRK: I wouldn’t worry about that. DIRK: He and I don’t quite have the rapport we once did. DIRK: He’s “over me” and doesn’t spare opportunities to make ostentatious demonstration of this claim. DAVE: um DIRK: Basically he doesn’t like being told what to do. Especially not by me." Cool, okay, so... Jake is needy in his own way, in showing he can fend for himself, at least that's how Dirk sees it. Guess they still hang out a lot though, just no longer "like that". That must be a letdown for the shippers, but a boon for the people that felt betrayed at seeing Dirk & Jake back together in the Credits. I like that middle road, actually! And hey, the versions of Jake & Dirk in the New Game Plus timeline, or whatever we should call it, are still fair game!

"DIRK: So it’s fair to say as of now, he’s still fully in play. DIRK: Not that I should be encouraging you, really. DAVE: you are one doubletalking son of a bitch you know that DAVE: i cant tell if you dont want us to run or are reverse psychology mindfucking us into running" Very true, that. Why would he share the truth about Jake if he wants to win, unless he wants fair competition? Best not to dwell on it too long on this neverending stairway of hidden intentions, lest we fall down it.

" DAVE: not like i can just stand around and wait for president crocker to like DAVE: write fucking grammar laws into the constitution" Pfffff, yes, I had forgotten about Jane's grammar practices, hahah. Guess she has a good running mate in Dirk for that, at least, capitalization and everything in order when he's not rapping.

"DIRK: Sorry to cut this short, but diapers are starting to come down pretty hard right now, and some of them haven’t even had their babies removed. DAVE: what" what. I hope it's at least consort babies, they're arguably the most resilient, as semi-sapient animals.

"DIRK: That was a joke." Ah.

"Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

There is something implacably magnificent about Dirk Strider, Jake thinks, untamed like a wild game beast of incredible size and strength." ... Well then! I didn't think the narration would offer us this view from the perspective of Jake, thought it would be reseverd for John! Not entirely sure how I feel about the privilege of seeing Jake pine for Dirk, though. :P At least it clarifies where the allure is in it, for him. It's an extension of his taste for adventure and his upbringing on an island full of terribly powerful beasts.

"Of course, their history together is never far from Jake’s mind, however many years it’s been since their last tussle of an amorous nature. The old dramas and triumphs in the days of Sburb. Dirk’s companionship has been taxing to the heart, to say the least, and yet he’s taught Jake so much—about combat, philosophy, life, love." Okay, that is just such a Jake thing to phrase it like this. I'm glad we get to see he's not so oblivious or un-elloquent in his mind as he presents himself to the outside world, consciously or not.

"But sometimes, despite their checkered and problematic past, Jakes wishes that he could seize Dirk by the proverbial horns and wrest him bodily into becoming a much more agreeable fellow." Heheh, so Jake actually would like to impose on Dirk some manners. At least with him it stays with desires, while Dirk really did try to impose on Jake when they were together.

"DIRK: How about you kick off the next round? DIRK: I bet this crowd will settle its shit right down the moment you drop the latest rhymes you’ve been tinkering with." This is going to be painful to read, isn't it? ... If we're going to read them at all. ... I swear, this might just lead into them having "the xest rapoff in the history of Earth C".

"Jake’s face lights up. He composes himself, adjusting a bow tie, although he is not wearing one, and making a vague gesture like he’s twirling one end of that mustache Dirk has not yet let him grow. Dirk lets him go with a gentle smile, like the sort you’d give to a dog for performing a trick adequately. Jake responds to the signal like an Olympic athlete hearing the starter pistol. He was born for this." All the best and worst aspects of Dirk & Jake as a couple are basically summarized here. I mean, Dirk is not even WITH Jake and vetoes some of his choices. Then again, Jake really does have TERRIBLE (but hilarious) taste in mannerisms.

"JAKE: Tally ho its me, jake mcgee! JAKE: Popping my pistols off, two shots and a kiss JAKE: My aim is tops, i never miss" ... I'm not disappointed, this really IS almost physically painful to read, as expected.

... Okay that was actually a very amazing rap. Well thought out, good use of the vocabulary, dated though it is. I liked "jake-eng's" and "jape-slings" in particular, especially since that was what Vriska dismissed him as, a joke, a jape.

"The crowd, as Dirk rightly predicted, has settled its shit right down. This is not due to any accidental brilliance on the part of Jake English, but rather due to an abashed but loyal brand of pity, the kind a devoted fan cannot help but feel when they see a beloved celebrity make an ass out of themselves during a live broadcast they have waited two and a half years in line to buy a ticket for." I think this might be Dirk's POV. Not everyone's tastes in rap are as dignified as his, after all. :P Consorts in particular might love this. Then again, we saw John embarass carapacians not too long ago, they're not immune to pitying people. But hey, on the brightside, maybe some of the audience <>'s Jake now. :P

"Dirk’s phone begins going off again." Unless it's something more ominous, this is probably Dave having the last quip.

"With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat. A chorus of boos rises up from the crowd like groundwater. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene troll fluid to field yet another very important personal call." ... Did Dirk actually use a Crockertech tranquilizer on his co-god? What the hell, Dirk? Guess all is fair in the ring.

And I suppose it's not Dave then that is calling him this time, if he takes such drastic measures.

"DIRK: Yo Rose, what's up?" Oooh, if we get to see this, that would be early we get to see Rose again! Dirk and Rose'll probably be planning their next move now that John has left. (Which I take Rose to already know about, through her Seer powers, or a call with Roxy.) ... Maybe some of their plans only could have worked IF John left, if they wanted to regain some measure of relevance through them.

[abundantchewtoys]

Homestuck^2 re: Chapter 1 “Clown Logistics” (p57-95)

So, I would like to see the persecuting crew, but I wonder what the Clown Logistics'd apply to in that context.

It might also apply to getting rid of Gamzee's dead body - if Vriska ML fears Jane might come after her and (Vriska).

Though I would like it to apply to something more innocent, like John talking to Harry Anderson and harlequins somehow making their way into the subject matter.

---

Page 57

Oooooh, so THAT is what Vriska ML looks like! The text hadn't described her that much in detail, so this is a pleasant surprise!

She's a goth, hahah. It's ironic - in a way, dressing this way isn't rebellious at all, if that's what she was aiming for, since both her moms are themselves quite gothic too. Didn't expect the short hair, but it stands to reason a child raised by Kanaya and Rose wouldn't have long hair where her mothers don't!

Cool outfit all around.

So, it's also a nice juxtaposition to (Vriska) from the Game Over timeline. She went more the punk route under influence of Meenah.

And post-retcon (Vriska) is still looking quite burned and bloodied from her escapades on the battlefield in the Furthest Ring. Though it's notable that her chest isn't pierced, I thought a piece of broken spacetime hit her there

Hahah, she's claiming John's phone. Stickyfingers Serket.

So this means that when Jake says he didn't know where John went to... He was here just now, talking to Rose! So this takes place before John went to talk to Roxy and Harry Anderson. Oh boy, so we might be in for seeing that heartwrenching father-son conversation after all.

Say, the way Vriska ML holds her arms, with her sleeves like that... It kind of reminds me of Kanaya. I wonder if there are other mannerisms we'll see her having taken over from her mothers.

---

Page 58

Oooooh, hah. That's actually so true to her nature. (Vriska) staying obsure, not as relevant as the real deal? Nope.

This actually feels like something where the suggestion box could have opened up again.

Then again, we might just be shown a list of fake options on the next page.

Though I wonder if this is where people chose Vriska ML, the term used in the recap page. Vriskers is a fan favorite for the original flavour.

Hmm, Rosemary? It's just accurate but left-field enough it might work. :P And it's 8 letters, come to think of it!

---

Page 59

... Where did that eyepatch come from?! Was she really that hurt in the fight? Hah, she drew an 8/infinity symbol on it.

Ooooooh. Vrissy, huh? Okay, it's kind of a cute nickname. Sounds kind of like Vriska+sissy, though. Although, she IS kind of a sister to Vriska.

She seems to enjoy it though! But, uh, to me, it's still a bit confusing to read, since the first four letters of their name is still the same, and their text colour is all the same. :P We need Vrissy to change to red text colour, stat! :P

Anyway, they want to dispose of the body - not turn their back on it - and Vrissy wants to call some people.; So that's bound to be Tavros and Harry Anderson, right?

Though it's a bit strange she'd call her kismesis and matesprit at the same time, especially as said people are currently under close scrutiny by Jane, you'd think.

What's Vriska's reaction going to be to Vrissy calling a Tavros, though? :P

---

Page 60

Huh, that's less of an antagonistic interaction between them. Maybe "kismesis" is a loose term.

"Roll with it", pffffff.

So, Tavros is very much going to highjack one of Jane's smaller ships, right? Maybe this is what Jake referred to, his son and his kismesis being out.

Hah, namedrop! Now to see Vriska's response. Jawdrop?

Blaperile thinks Tavros might come in a car. That could work too, stuffing Gamzee's body in the trunk. And going on a roadtrip.

---

Page 61

XD, yeah, actually, a cringe reaction fits too. Then again, it was only a few hours ago she saw Tavros' ghost, so it wouldn't be THAT big a blast from the past... Wait, was she expecting GCATavrosprite or something??

Hah, so Vrissy thinks Tavros will get a kick out of seeing Gamzee dead. I don't think he'll be estatic, but he'll certainly won't mind. I'm dying to see how he looks though, Jade and John's biological brother!

---

Page 62

... That looks like a flying Smart from this angle.

Lol. Yeah, seems like a Vris thing, oggling Tavros car and being miffed it isn't hers.

---

Page 63

oooooooh. Yup, this looks what a Jane/Jake child with a bit of Gamzee peppering would end up looking like! Cool sidebangs.

The purple text and suit does beg explanation though, since Gamzee's such a shitty rolemodel. Maybe he doesn't really have a say in his clothing. :/

He does remind me of one of the kids on the Sburb fan album this way, though.

I love him.

---

Page 64

... Pfffff, and there's him keeping up the Tavros name in the unwilling clumsiness. Heheehh.

Vrissy did do a good job explaining the situation.

And it seems like this boy might have inherited some of John and Jake's panache at dramatic entrances!

---

Page 65

D: Poor, poor dude.

Ding dong, the clown is dead.

---

Page 66

(Still not seeing the kismesitude, though I LOVE Vrissy's attempt at being supportive.)

Vriska's also being rather uncharacteristically hospitable. Also, isn't she weirded out by the idea of attracting OTHER people, after having known the same 20-odd faces for so long?

---

Page 68

He's on the brink of adventure. He's heard the note desolation plays.

Tavros' life is on the brink of changing, is what I'm saying.

I wonder, is he bare underneath the sweater? Oh righ, he had that shirt with the bowtie.

---

Page 69

Hey, suspenders! ... They're just as orange as Vrissy's phone! Huh, I thought it might have been a compression issue, that Vrissy's phone was Crockertech (since it's presumably the foremost prelavent tech), but now I wonder.

... Wait, does Dirk have tech company? Orange and such. But suspenders don't strike me as his thing. :P

---

Page 71

Wait what?

... Is THIS Harry Anderson??????????

I thought the kid had glasses too, and black hair like John!

Dang, okay, those are some STRONG Lalonde genes. Coooooool.

John's son is a coolkid. My mind is blown.

---

Page 72

LOLLLLLLL.

So his personality is a delightful cross between Roxy and John's. He's only working off the assumption Vrissy's pranking him. Thinking he's the pranking MASTER.

Well, that coolkid facade is gonna be cracked real soon. Though I take his word for it he'll still know where to stash the thing. Even though he's all slick, I think the kid has inherited Roxy's IQ.

---

Page 75

Hahah, Harry Anderson didn't play truant for his last hour of school.

And Vriska's references to Alternia are going to keep weirding the other teens out.

This clown business does INDEED bring a lot of logistics with it.

Heehee, yeah, Vriska notes as well that Vrissy's rather chummy with her kismesis. I wonder if she, Tavros and Harry Anderson are in a state of flux in their quadrants. When she's chummy with one, she antagonizes the other.

Oooh, time for the first real point of disagreement between the two Vris'!

Blaperile has a good point - Tavros is going to end up with the rebels somehow. Well, I suppose him being seen with Vrissy is going to be enough to start a rumour, but he might indeed end up in the rebel camp proper, in the Troll Kingdom.

---

Page 76

Awww. Okay, so it's just a very low-energy kismesitude. His dorkiness vs her bossiness. And it just works, a better adjusted version of Nitram and Vriska's relation. It's even tamer than John and Terezi's bickering, is what I'm saying. At least for now.

---

Page 77

Pfff, so he actually went 'Right-o' and still followed Vriska out the door. Cool move for a kismesis, for sure.

N'aww, she hates-likes him.

Why did no-one captchalogue the corpse, though?

---

Page 79

So, are they gonna get caught? I'm not that worried about the honk. I mean, at this point, Gamzee reviving? I'm not really seeing it. But his body, even at rest, is full of the honkiest squeaks, that I believe.

If they let him drop now, which might happen since the aquabloods aren't stopping... It'll cause a ruckus.

---

Page 81

Pfffff. Vriska's efficiency level is at such a low level. It's hilarious.

Tavros has a good intuition, it seems, he felt she would be counting to 8.

---

Page 83

Ahhh, this is such a wacky hijinx adventure, I never expected...

Wait.

Hold the fuck up.

We're now in the Weekend at Bernie’s zone. Holy shit.

---

Page 85

Pffff, they actually managed to set the sprinklers off with so much as smoke? My god.

Yeah, they have to run for cover now, leaving the dead clown behind.

---

Page 86

Welp. WELP. They're caught. Hilarious BLUH panel though.

Okay, now, I can see how this story will get blown up, and Jane assumes the rebels kidnapped Tavros. ... Wait.

Chances are high that all the teens are just going to end up somewhere else entirely, not even at the rebel camp at all. Ah, yes, a misunderstanding pile-up causing the war to escalate is just something I can see happening here. Bonus points for it being a bunch of dumb teens covering up a dumb clown murder.

---

Page 87

Ooooooh. Five-letter names! Well, it fits Harry Anderson. And emoji's! :O We're in a new decennium now, that's for sure.

Yeah this is going viral.

I wonder if these people's names are, like, coming from Patreon backers. Or old Kickstarter backers from higher tiers.

(Yeah yeah, it's probably the writers themselves having named these folks, I'm making a federal issue from it.)

---

Page 88

Cool perspective

---

Page 89

Pfffff, Vriska's having the time of her life. She's just having fun, since she doesn't really concern herself with consequences.

Vrissy has a better handle of the impact of what just happened.

---

Page 90

... Yup, that's about the jumping to conclusions I was expecting.

Yeesh, Jane is actually as dense as Jake in a lot of critical ways. She's very good at convincing herself of the truth of something. Like here, how she still loved Gamzee, and how Tavros loved him too.

It seems like the conflict on Earth C pivots around Jane's policies. But I don't see how she can be made aware of all her shortsightedness and prejudice, at this point.

---

Page 91

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Okay I wasn't expecting this to happen.

But it's an actual freaking callback to the beginnings of the story, and Act 6 Act 1, hahah.

---

Page 92

... Harry is sitting on the bleachers.

Hah, he thinks this is the prank the other teens were pulling on him, just setting off the fire alarm. Thinks he has it all figured out.

---

Page 94

Best reaction image. Ever. Hahahahah.

He was like:

8) |8) :o

---

Page 95

Hah! And even a carapacian expression! (Alternatively, Pickle Inspector.) He's inherited that one from his mother's side, no doubt.

---

Shenanigans. Best shenanigans.

So, where does this take place in regard with John's make-up conversation with Roxy, anyway? My gut says before, but my brain is thinking: how would that even work. Harry'd have to be a karma Houdini. Which would actually be fitting, since magic / sleight of hand runs on both sides of his family.

I'm in love with all of these walking teenage disasters already.

[blaperile]

Homestuck^2 - Reactions Chapter 4 “The Contest” (Pages 119 - 143)

Chapter 4: "The Contest"

Oh man, what kind of contest is this going to be?

It definitely sounds like something more innocent than the battles between Candy Jane and Candy Karkat, or Meat Dirk and Alternate Calliope... But I can't really think of anything else.

Page 119:

What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Okay... that looks very, very alien. I assume this is the planet Dirk, Rose and Terezi have landed on?

It looks a bit like a mixture between LOTAF and Terezi's forest, haha.

Page 120:

Ha, so that's where they've crash-landed.

That's a surprisingly bare hill compared to the valley below.

Page 122:

Welp, that was definitely a pretty hard crash. Are those the remains of Terezi's dragon wings I see there somewhere between the rubble?

And there are the three sets of footprints.

I'm very curious to see Rosebot and Terezi!

Page 124:

Holy shit. Rosebot looks like a straight-up supervillain alien queen or something. Especially with that black tiara.

Yeah, it's not exactly reassuring me about her mental health.

Let's hope Terezi looks a little bit more normal. :P

I actually didn't expect Rosebot (or Davebot for that matter) to be wearing any clothes, mentally I was picturing like an exact robotic replica of her somewhat like Aradiabot.

Page 125:

Oh wow! Look at Terezi... long hair, a suit, Scalemate rocket shoes... nice! At least she doesn't look like a supervillain. xD

And of course, her trusty cane is still with her! :D

abundantChewtoys has a good point, with the long hair she looks a bit more like Latula.

Dirk definitely salvaged quite some of his stuff from the ship, hehe.

Page 126:

Ooooh, nice Sprites. It's extra funny because Dirk presumably even commanded that.

Haha, yeah, being 3 years on a ship with just Rose and Dirk for company can't have been easy on the ears, hahaha.

For a second I was confused when Terezi said to stop calling her that. I didn't realize immediately she was talking about the "ROSEBOT" prefix in front of the dialgue! Hahahaha, amazing. I love how it even subtly changed afterwards.

Hey look, Dirk's got a map on his desk. Is he drawing it himself right now, for how to get to the Frog Temple or something?

Also, nice reference to pre-retcon Terezi's Faygo drinking problem.

Page 127:

Oh boy... not part of WHAT exactly? The Ultimate Self thing?

Page 128:

Is Dirk... just demonstrating his Hero of Heart powers or is he actually doing something with it?

So what's their plan exactly? Start civilization here, rule as gods, and lead this new civilization on a path to SBURB?

Page 129:

Oh god, Rose and Dirk are getting into the phylosophical babble. This is the kind of stuff in Homestuck that I'm usually "yeah, sure" on because my mind boggles at it. xD

So uh, is Deltritus Dirk's name for this planet, or is it referring to something else?

Kinda sounds like it might be something out of Greek philosophy. :P

I'm afraid to google it though, just in case it's something made up for Homestuck. Don't wanna get spoilers!

Page 130:

Oh man, all those notes.

Sneaky "bluh bluh huge bitch" reference right there, referring to Alternate Calliope, hehe.

The place that was marked with the Spirograph symbol... is that where the Frog Temple is?

So yeah, it's clear that Rose has her doubts about doing this and Dirk keeps coercing her with his narrative powers to go along with it.

I wonder what will happen if perhaps Alternate Calliope can break her free from his influence? Will she realize the error of their ways? Similarly to how Kanaya realized how stupid she was for letting Rose go, after Dirk's influence stopped?

Oh dear god, this game Dirk wants to play... is this a theoretical contest? As in, write down all the things their races would consist of, and pit them against each other in a typical Dirk/Rose philosophy battle and determine the winner from there?

Or is he really planning a more long-term gain, with actually setting up the real societies and THEN pitting them against each other??? That would truly be awful.

So, Dirk knows this place is destined to play SBURB, but he doesn't know yet just what kind of race will be playing it? Or is he just pretending he doesn't know it yet?

Page 131:

That... holy fuck, that's messed up.

It's not like they've got a whole bunch of genetic material to work with, with just the two of them if they wouldn't even add Terezi in the mix. I mean, they're father and daughter...

I like how the image instantly made me think of a family tree and then the text beneath it basically confirmed it.

It's interesting how the symbol for the game is being depicted in cyan blue, not orange like the color of Homestuck^2 and Dirk's own colour, but rather Jane's colour.

...

Wait a fucking second. abundantChewtoys is right, didn't Dirk just establish that he wanted to start a species from scratch? They're not starting from scratch if they start from Dirk and Rose's own genetic material...

Page 132:

Oh god. Yeah, when I saw that device I indeed instantly thought: "Is that a mix between an Alchemiter and ectobiology equipment?"

So uh, how exactly are they going to create this society without waiting thousands of years?

And if they're going to alchemize their genetic material with other stuff... is this the true reason why Dirk brought all that useless junk with him?

Page 133:

Ahahaha, 10 hours and 25 minutes ago. I see what they did there. ;D

Page 134:

Oh man, this is gonna be like those alchemy series of pages in earlier Homestuck, except now all kinds of silly combinations of Dirk with other objects.

Let's hope he creates a hologram prior to actually making babies out of this...

...There's pretty much no way the resulting species out of Dirk won't have shades. xD

These can become pretty weird combinations though, considering there's apparently slots for SO many items to combine with his DNA.

Page 135:

Holy shit, Dirk somehow acquired John's Nannasprite fruit gushers.

It's funny because it's true, what Rose is saying here. For us it's also been just about a decade since any of this was relevant in Homestuck, holy shit.

I agree, I've also missed this. :3

...If only it was used in a less ominous way.

Also, let's say this device is such a heavy combination of multiple SBURB devices that it can literally either skip the punching part or do it all in one go.

Page 136:

Yeah, that's going to be one hell of a Franksteinish monstrosity I assume.

Probably a pile of goo (because gushers) with spikes (because cactus), tentacles (because Squiddles), and shades (because Dirk)?

Page 137:

Dirk's starting to look a lot like Bro. And I mean it in the worst way.

Ha, "Ecto-Alchemologize"! I love this reference to the early days where there was such a screen with "Appearify" and stuff appearing on it.

Page 138:

The fact that we're having all these flashing lights with the colours of the rainbow is not exactly reassuring me, considering its association with Lord English.

Page 141:

...Yeah, that's about what I expected, minus the shades. xD

I love the addition of the flower pot.

Page 142 - 143:

Oh jeez. I hoped Rose would have been turned off, but she isn't.

This... this is not the kind of stuff that should be given life. :(

Oh man, just what kind of WORLD are Dave, Roxy, Karkat, Kanaya and the Calliopes going to arrive in.

That's the end of this chapter.

And looks like the next chapter will be Terezi-centric! "YOUR 3Y3S H4V3 B33N CLOS3D"... the only thing I can think of is the stuff about the third eye that Dirk had Rose upon up within her mind to see the Candy path.

Is Terezi going down memory lane or something? The memory lane of herself and her alternate selves?