#as long as something has him spiralling and devolving

[joejhang]

when i say i want jeremy knox to crash out i mean i want him to CRASH OUT. i want it to be debilitating. i want it to be brutal. i want him to lose it so bad people think he won't recover. i want him to lose his goddamn mind. i want everyone around him to panic and lose it too, because jeremy is always in control, always knows what he's doing, and he's finally been derailed. i want him to lose control and spiral and devolve and i want all the tentative threads holding him and his family and whatever past transgressions he has to unravel and for him to lose it so badly everyone gets worried that he won't make it out alive. i want every terrible thing in his past, big or small, to catch up with him and eat him alive. i want him to be irretrievable inconsolable unreachable i want him to be so out of it everyone is kind of like "well what the fuck do we do now" like if it's not that kind of a crash out i don't want it.

[daycourtofficial]

Azriel’s Girls

Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 2.6k | warnings: none

Summary: you overhear a conversation between Azriel and his brothers that has you second guessing your boyfriend’s faithfulness. What will you find when you follow him out one night?

Author’s note: two fics one day! This is crack lmao I wrote this in a blur this afternoon from a silly convo with @milswrites @prythianpages and @ninthcircleofprythian lmao

You and Feyre came into the River House giggling over the amount of paint that covered the both of you. The two of you stop laughing long enough to look at each other, before devolving into fits of giggles once more. One of the boys in the studio had insisted on today’s topic being finger painting, which led to the children essentially dipping their hands into paint before smearing it over all of your clothes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to shower here?” Her voice is soft and kind, a slight rasp to it from talking to the kids all afternoon.

“Thanks Fey, but I’d rather shower at home so I can slip into my pajamas and go to sleep.” You look away from her, as if you could see him through the walls. “Maybe I can even convince Azriel to rub my back. I shouldn't have given some piggy back rides.”

Feyre hums, a soft ‘told you so’ on her tongue, but you give her a pointed look and she keeps it to herself.

“Well, I’m going to go wash up. Good luck finding the boys.”

Her voice floats down the hallway she takes, and you start thinking about where to look - the most obvious place being Rhys’s study. Your feet pad through the halls until you start to hear three loud laughs coming from the cracked study door.

You keep moving towards the source, ready to make your presence known, when you hear Cassian say, “when will you see them again?”

Your boyfriend responds with a soft, “tonight”, eliciting raucous laughter from his brothers. You still, pressing yourself towards the wall, tilting your head in contemplation.

Azriel had told you he had plans tonight, that he was doing something important for Rhys. Had he lied to you?

Cassian’s voice cuts through your train of thoughts, “I’m sure the girls at Rosehall have been missing you.”

Rosehall?

You scrunch your eyebrows, trying to remember if you had ever heard of Rosehall. Was it somewhere in Velaris? Was it a pleasure hall? Who were these girls Cassian spoke of?

Had your sweet Azriel been sneaking around, and his brothers were aware of it? Had they been condoning it?

“I haven’t been able to see them in a while, they’ll be glad for the company.”

“I’m sure they’ll be crawling all over you, brother.”

Their laughs were knives in your heart. Did everyone know? Were you nothing more than a fool to them? Nothing more than a mere joke to these males? Your mind was racing, not paying any mind to the rest of the conversation as you ran down the hall into the kitchens, getting yourself a glass of water. You chugged it, the cool liquid giving your racing thoughts something else to focus on. Like a plan to figure out the truth.

After a few minutes of allowing yourself to seethe and panic, you retraced your steps towards Rhys’s study with your plan in tow: get to Rosehall, find out who these girls are, and yell and scream at Azriel and his brothers for playing you for a fool. As you approach, the males within were now speaking of some sporting event you were not the slightest bit interested in. Azriel’s face brightens as you knock and enter, pushing the door that was slightly ajar. You hate the way your heart picks up a bit at seeing him, at seeing how his face lights up at your presence, your cheeks heating at his attention.

He’s a lying, backstabbing, good for nothing-

“How was painting with Feyre?”

The attention from all three of them pulls you from your thought spiral and you choke on your own spit, coughing a bit. Azriel’s smile turns into a look of concern as he watches you, but Cassian chuckles. “Did you eat the paint by accident?”

Rhysand’s low tone chimes in, “I believe she’s wearing half the paint in Feyre’s studio, and I’m sure my mate’s wearing the other half.”

You chuckle, “uh yeah, Feyre was heading to shower when I left her.”

Rhys dips his head, “that's my cue to leave. BRothers, always a pleasure until better things come along. I’ll see you all later.”

Cassian laughs as Rhys disappears in front of you all, “horny bastard.”

Azriel glares at his brother, “and the pot calls the kettle black.”

Cassian scoffs, flicking his wrist in the air, “pish posh, Azriel. The past is the past.”

“Your past was last week when everytime I came back to the House of Wind for two weeks I got front row seats to your ass.”

“Well, it's our house. And I have a fantastic ass.”

Cassian flexes his thighs, as if Azriel just had to see it to mitigate his annoyance.

“I live there too.”

Cassian shrugs, as if this was a matter of opinion to just accept differences over.

Azriel looks back to you, his eyes making you feel warm, just as they always did. But the warmth was quickly devolving into a ball of anger and sadness, warming your stomach with jealousy and annoyance.

You slap a smile onto your face as you look towards Az, taking in his lazy grin as Cassian slaps him on the back. “I’m off to see Nes. You kids have fun!”

Cassian walks toward the balcony, taking to the skies. Azriel turns toward you, offering his hand so the two of you could embark as well. You accept his hand in yours, a little part of your mind telling you this is the last time you’ll do this. You laugh, pushing the thoughts to the side as you allow Azriel to pick you up, the two of you shooting up into the air.

Azriel flies you back to your apartment, his wings expertly moving over the streets of Velaris. You can’t help the smile on your face as you two fly through the air, watching the people below you until he lands right in front of your home.

You open the door for the both of you, and he follows closely behind. He chuckles at your paint covered clothes, and you fidget slightly, wanting him to make the move to leave.

The clock in your living room chimes, and his gaze moves towards it. “It’s getting late, I have to go. Will you be okay?”

You nod, your arms tightening around yourself. He takes your nervous energy as your hatred for sleeping alone, not wanting to upset you further by making you speak about it.

“How long will you be gone?”

He ponders for a moment, “I should be back tomorrow or the day after.”

He turns toward the door, but you shoot out your hand to grab his wrist. “Can I have one of your shadows? To keep me company? I like having them around.”

One shadow in particular dances at your words, coming from behind Azriel, practically spinning in the air as it immediately rushes to you.

“I hope you like that one because I don’t think it’ll let a different one stay with you.”

You giggle as it weaves through your hair, picking it up into a ponytail before dropping it.

“Perfect, so I’ll have someone to be witness to my antics.”

You giggle, but his face is solemn as he looks at you, something feeling so off about your behavior.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His words are so soft, and every part of you wants to tell him no, I’m not okay, because you are seeing other women who will be crawling all over you once you leave from here.

Instead you nod, making up an excuse about your eyes being tired from all the painting. He kisses your forehead, his lips soft and light against your skin before pulling away and stepping out of your door before winnowing away.

You count your breath for a few beats before turning to the shadow, “do you know where Rosehall is?”

-

Of all of your terrible ideas over the years, this one was perhaps the worst. You had asked the shadow where Rosehall was, expecting it to be somewhere in Velaris, likely in the parts of the city you were less familiar with. You did not expect the black wisp to wrap around your wrist and begin tugging you away from Velaris very forcefully.

You had started getting nervous when it kept pulling you towards the outskirts, but you were in it now, and you were going to see this ridiculous scheme through to the end.

The shadow had been pulling you for hours it seemed, across landscapes, your feet killing you as you walked, and somewhere several miles away from Velaris, the shadow’s hold loosened on your wrist, opting to move up and down your arm, as if telling you this was your destination.

“Are you sure this is right?”

The shadow danced all around you as if it were confirming your statement. You looked at the gated entrance, the estate so lush and green and not at all what you had expected, it took you by surprise.

This was where he brought women? To do scandalous things and have nights full of debauchery? Was this some beautiful and well-tended pleasure hall? Before you can debate going through the gate, the shadow moves forward, unlatching it and pushing it open for you.

You sigh, thinking to yourself no going back now.

You enter through the gate, preparing yourself to hear the sounds of females giggling, perhaps even moaning, but you are completely taken aback at the chorus of meows you hear, followed by a door opening, and Azriel’s soft voice calling out, “if you’re here for my mother, she has stepped out-”

His voice stops as he takes in the sight of you, the two of you standing before each other across the lush estate. His eyes swim with confusion, and you’re not sure you’ve ever seen him at such a loss for words or the situation before. He continues to look at you, before realizing he’s carrying a tray of various raw meats and fish. He takes no notice of the dozen or so cats circling him, several trying to climb up his legs toward the food he carries.

“You- what are- how did you get here?”

You lift up the shadow that was entwined with your arm before it skitters off to join the other shadows playing games with the cats who weren’t paying attention to Azriel. You try not to wear the confusion on your face, hoping desperately to have some upper hand here.

“Is this Rosehall?”

Azriel sighs, setting down the food as one of the cats lunges to bite at his arm, missing and falling back into the pool of cats at Azriel’s feet.

“Yes.”

You puff up your chest, confusion seeping through your features as you ask, “and where are the females? The girls?”

“The girls?” His voice is incredulous, and you want to roll your eyes at it.

“Yes, the girls. The ones who wish to climb all over you because you haven’t been paying them attention.”

His long legs start to make their way across the front garden, the sea of cats at his feet parting as he makes his way through them. “The girls who climb over me?”

You sigh, exasperation evident, “must you repeat my words? Yes, okay fine. I overheard Cassian speaking of your plans this evening with ‘your girls’. Now why don’t you bring them out and show me to be a fool?”

A deep, belly laugh comes from his mouth, and you are utterly offended.

“Azriel, I came here to put you through the ringer for stepping out on me, and you find it funny?”

He steps forward, trying to put his arms around you but you step away from his embrace. His laughing continues as he asks, “you walked all the way here?”

“Yes.”

You stick out your chin, determined to look strong and confident.

“You walked all the way from Velaris to here, to find out I had cats?”

“Why yes, I did walk all the way here to find out-”

Your words die on your tongue as you look around, not seeing any other females anywhere. You picked up the scent of one, but the scent smelled so much like Azriel, they had to be related in some way.

He watches your nose twitch, separating out all the smells beneath the ever present smell of cat.

“My mother lives here.”

He coughs, the joyous look from his laughter gone, his hands moving behind his back. He rocks on his feet, and you found it quite endearing.

“With my cats.”

“Your cats?”

“Yes, but they’re not really mine. They just show up.”

“Your cats show up? What does that mean?”

“It means, if I spend any time in Illyria the cats seek me out. I’ve already fixed the stray cat problem in Velaris.”

He opens his arms wide.

“They’re all here. Problem solved, I suppose.”

You blink, slightly convinced Rhys had finally broken your mind and made up the most ridiculous scenario he could imagine. You feel one of the cats rub against your legs, and you bend slightly to nuzzle its face. It was pitch black with bright green eyes. It was so little, you couldn’t help but pick it up despite its verbal protests.

“You have cats.”

“Yes, and Rhys and Cassian despise the cats. Rhys says he’s allergic, but I think he’s just too worried about his damn furniture.”

“And Cassian?”

“Cats hate Cassian.”

He says this as if it’s an uncontested fact.

“How can all cats hate one person?”

“He likes to swing them by their tails.”

You nod, “okay, maybe all cats can hate one person.”

As the two of you spoke the shadows had lifted a cat up onto Azriel’s shoulders, where it stood meowing and pawing at the black wisps. You watched in bewilderment, unsure if the shadows were playing pranks or not, when the cat slid from his shoulder into the crook of his elbow, nuzzling into the warmth there.

You cross your arms, heat blooming in your cheeks at your rash decision making. “So there aren’t beautiful females here?”

“There’s one.”

“I knew i- oh. You meant me.”

You deflate once more, letting the adrenaline seep from your body. You were exhausted, well and truly. He nodded before putting the cat down, watching it scamper off into the grass. “I shouldn’t have lied about where I was going. Several dozen cats are just… a lot to spring on someone at once.”

You look to the ground, fingers scratching the ears of the kitten you were holding, “and maybe I got a little…. carried away.”

He quirked an eyebrow, “you picked the wrong shoes to hike out here from Velaris.”

You looked down at your sneakers, chuckling, “uh yeah, I definitely need to soak my feet for a bit.”

“Do you want to come inside?” He watches you hesitantly before asking, “Or I could take you home?”

You look toward the beautiful estate before peering back down at the wiggling kitten in your arms, before deciding that you did want to see Azriel’s mother’s home and to hopefully meet her. “Are you going to tell your mother about how I got here?”

He chuckles, slow and soft, “of course I am. She’d be endlessly amused.”

“Do you have any black felt? I’d love to make this little guy some wings.”

He chuckles, rolling his eyes as he puts an arm around your shoulder, leading you inside. “While you play arts and crafts, I can formally introduce you to all of the other cats.”

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main @azrielsmate3 @pit-and-the-pen @durgenyx @dee-writes-smut @chairofchaos @thelov3lybookworm @berryzxx @throneofsmut @kennedy-brooke @prythianpages @itsswritten @acotarxreader @ninthcircleofprythian

Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin

Thanks for reading ❣️

[swizzlemynizzle]

Underneath the Noise - George Clarke

—————————————————————————

Masterlist

Chapter 7: Too Loud

—————————————————————————

A week later, the video drops.

Chris titles it with his usual flair:
“WE MADE A BINGO LIST AND IT GOT OUT OF HAND | ft. chaos, shots & George nearly drowning”

Within twenty minutes it’s trending. Comments flood in—some unhinged, some suspiciously poetic. Y/N watches from her sofa, half-buried under a blanket, nursing a coffee and trying not to spiral.

The edit is kind, actually. A little crazy, yes. Unflattering in places—also yes. But somehow, Chris has made her seem funny. Game. Brave, even, as she climbs into that godforsaken fountain. Her anxiety sits like a weight in her stomach, but the group chat is already lighting up.

CHAOS GOBLINS
Chris:
it’s out. i regret nothing.

Bach:
someone’s already made a gif of you doing tambourine karaoke with Weed Steve

ArthurTV:
Y/N’s going viral for “iconic shoe swap” energy

George:
ngl you were the MVP

Arthur Hill:
the ferret’s got its own fan account. i’m not even mad.

Y/N:
glad to know Pickle’s the breakout star here

Chris:
you’re all stars. but Pickle is in talks for a Netflix docuseries

The messages keep coming, a steady stream of dumb jokes and unhinged reactions. It makes something loosen in her chest. She’s still nervous—of course she is��but it’s easier to laugh this time.

Later that week, they all pile into Chris’s for a group filming session.

She shows up with snacks and a confused look as she’s instructed to sit beside Arthur. “Okay, which one, there’s too many Arthur’s in here.”

“That’s it,” ArthurTV groans. “I’m changing my name.”

“You could give him a nickname,” George points out.

Y/N snaps her fingers. “Got it! ATV. Like a small, chaotic vehicle.”

ATV gives her a wounded look. “Is that not just you in human form?” she smiles.

“And you,” she turns to Arthur Hill, “can be Hilly. Because otherwise my brain explodes.”

Hilly shrugs. “I’ll take it. Makes me sound like a tragic romcom side character.”

“Perfect,” she grins. “Very on brand for this group.”

Chris is already setting up the cameras. “Alright, we’re filming a Cringe Compilation Reacts, but everyone’s taking a shot every time someone says the word ‘vibe.’”

Bach eyes the bottle. “I’d like to survive the evening, thanks.”

“Too late,” ATV says, handing out shot glasses.

They film for hours. It’s easy—banter flying, laughter echoing, George nearly choking on a gummy worm mid-reaction. Hilly keeps making offhand self-deprecating jokes that leave everyone wheezing. ATV zones out at one point, staring at a coaster like it holds the secrets of the universe.

Afterwards, they crash at the boy’s flat in that post-filming slump—half of them on bean bags, half on the floor. Pizza boxes litter the coffee table. Someone’s playing music softly from a phone.

Y/N’s head rests on the back of the sofa, her cheek warm from laughing too hard.

Bach nudges her foot. “You good?” She nods. “Just… this is nice.” “Group chaos goblins. You’re one of us now.” ATV chimes in, still staring at the ceiling. “That sounds like a cult.” George, from across the room: “To be fair, you do have the stare of a man possessed.” ATV flips him off without moving.

Hilly groans, “remind me to write a ballad about this moment. It’ll be titled ‘Ode to Soggy Trainers and the Girl Who Mocked Me On Sight.’” “You mocked yourself first,” Y/N points out. “Exactly,” Hilly grins. “I’m just building the lore.”

The next few days blur in a good way.

They meet at George’s to stream a chaotic game of Gartic Phone that derails almost immediately.

They film a football challenge in the park, where ATV takes a ball to the face and Hilly somehow ends up barefoot.

Chris ropes her into a video titled “Who Knows Me Best,” which devolves into Bach and George arguing over what year Chris supposedly got his nose pierced (infected, didn’t last long).

Y/N’s camera roll is now full of blurry selfies, a questionable amount of ferret memes, and one photo of George mid-sneeze that she’s saving for blackmail.

Her anxiety hasn’t disappeared. But it’s dulled, made manageable by this messy, wonderful group of goblins who’ve somehow adopted her as one of their own.

Still, there’s a shift she can’t quite ignore.

It creeps in late at night, in the quiet moments between content and chaos—when she’s editing a stream highlight and catches herself smiling a little too long at a clip of George laughing.

Or when she’s walking home from Chris’s and replays something dumb George said—some dry one-liner, some passing look—and feels it echo sharper than it should.

Or when her phone buzzes at 1:23AM with a new message from him:


georgeclarkey:
you on?
i need someone to mock my aim in cod or i won’t improve as a person

She tells herself it’s nothing. That he’s like this with everyone.


That she’s imagining it.


That she’s just tired. Or bored. Or projecting.

But the truth is, there’s a version of her—somewhere just beneath the surface—that lights up when it’s him.

And that version is getting harder to ignore.

——-

The hate started slow. Almost imperceptible beneath the flood of chaotic memes and inside jokes after Chris’s video dropped.

At first, it was just a few offhand comments in the replies—tiny stings buried in otherwise harmless noise.

“Who invited the try-hard?”

“Another girl tagging along for clout, yawn.”

“George looked annoyed with her the whole time lol.”

She tried not to care. Really, she did. Everyone got some heat on the internet. Especially women. Especially women who dared to exist in male-dominated spaces.

But over the days that followed, the anxiety sat with her like a bruise just beneath the skin—tender, persistent, waiting for the next hit.

And tonight, it landed.

The stream had started light. George had invited her to join a game of Call of Duty, and she’d said yes instinctively.

It had felt good at first. Familiar.

But fifteen minutes in, the chat shifted.

@ogclarkeyfan:
was she even invited or did she just show up again?

@whyisthisgirlhere:
she made that video so cringe. literally ruined the fountain bit.

@fancam4rory:
can’t believe george is wasting content with her

@clarkeybabey:
she’s not even funny?? why is she always trying so hard

Each line landed harder than the last. Even as her fingers moved on autopilot, her brain fuzzed with static. Her throat tightened.

She tried to focus on the game, on George’s voice in her ears—teasing, grounded—but it didn’t cut through the rising spiral.

Then someone posted a clip.

A screen recording of her slipping in the fountain, zoomed in and slowed down, captioned: “when you force yourself into the group and still flop.”

It had over 3,000 likes already.

Y/N's stomach flipped.

“Y/N?” George’s voice cracked through the headset. “You good?”

She didn’t respond.

Her screen blurred. Her chest pulled tight, breathing shallow. Her cursor jerked as she missed a shot. Then another.

“Y/N?” George again. Softer now. Concerned.

She mumbled something, barely audible. Her mic was already muted. She didn’t remember doing that.

With shaking fingers, she ended the stream. Closed the tabs. Ripped her headset off. The silence was deafening.

She curled into the chair, fists clenched, eyes burning. It wasn’t just the trolls. It was the weight of everything. The effort of trying so hard to fit in, to keep up, to belong—to not be the weak link in a group of people who already seemed to love each other in this seamless, shorthand way.

She’d thought she was getting there.

Now it felt like maybe she was the punchline.

-

Ten minutes later, a knock on the door.

She wasn’t expecting anyone.

She moved on instinct, flinging it open—and George was there. Hoodie on, hair slightly flattened from a beanie he must’ve discarded en route, phone still clutched in one hand.

His brows pinched the second he saw her face.

“Hey,” he said. “Saw your stream cut. Tried calling. Just… came to check.”

Her eyes brimmed before she could stop them.

“I’m fine,” she lied, voice cracking on the second word.

“Sure you are,” he murmured, stepping in. “Totally fine people usually answer calls while hyperventilating.”

She let out a broken laugh and wiped her cheek with the back of her sleeve. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.”

She hesitated. “I just—” The words caught. “It got in my head. The trolls. The video. The comments. I know they’re just idiots but it felt—like they were all thinking what I’m scared everyone secretly thinks.”

George didn’t say anything at first.

He just stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her.

No theatrics. No platitudes. Just warmth. Steady and grounding.

Her face pressed into his hoodie. His arms held firm, not too tight. She could smell his deodorant and the faint trace of rain on his sleeves. She didn’t realise how fast she was breathing until it started to slow.

“They’re wrong,” he said quietly. “They don’t know you.”

She didn’t answer. Just listened to his voice. The same one that had made her laugh on stream, the one that had made her feel safe that night in the pub.

“They’re loud,” he went on, “but they don’t matter. You do. You’re not just ‘someone we stream with’ or a side character. You’re one of us.”

Her chest ached, but in a different way now.

She tilted her head back slightly. “Even if I call you a hobbit again?”

George huffed a laugh, resting his chin lightly against her hair. “Especially then.”

She closed her eyes.

And maybe, just maybe, she let herself believe him.

————-

@madforgeorge

@wherethezoes-at

@sundarksposts

@clarkey4life

—————-

This was a long one!! But we’re getting somewhere 🤭

[trombonechurchill]

Tidbit Tuesday!

Chapter Two of Watching the Credits is maaaybe 50% done so to celebrate here is a very silly part of it:

Buck is not likable. He's charming, in a way, he knows ("Like a fungus. You grow on people," Hen had helpfully explained one day.), but people need time to warm up to him and then, once they inevitably got their fill, they were done with him. And Tommy was a big mega star. Tommy's cool. Tommy has a Wikipedia page! Buck doesn't think he ego could handle being friend dumped by someone on Wikipedia. He should just cut his losses and run now. "I should just cut my losses and run now," He tells Eddie. "You won't get paid if you leave before shooting's over," Eddie offers. Buck hits him again. Things quickly devolve from there and Buck's saved from having to start finding creative uses for the fruit bowl to get Eddie to let him out of a headlock by the arrival of Hen. "Please don't make me kick the two of you out of here," she says, sweeping past them with a sigh and making a beeline for the coffee machine. She's got a pile of scripts in her hand which is never a good sign. The number of script revisions Hen has to do is always commiserate with the amount of patience she has left for the rest of them. And this batch looks like a doozy. "Buck's spiraling," Eddie says, pointedly ignoring Buck as he mouths 'tattle-tale' over Hen's shoulder at him. Hen hums for a moment, settling herself in an open chair before taking a long sip of coffee. Buck eyes her precariously balanced scripts nervously but waits until Hen swallows and raises her eyebrows in permission before starting to talk. "So, what are we overthinking today, then? I told you Athena already forgave you for the microwave thing. Mostly." "She did? No, I mean it's not that. You know Tommy?" Buck says, tapping his fingertips together before finally shoving himself into the camp chair next to Hen. He's never quite fit into them right, legs too long and shoulders too wide so he feels like he's folding up to match the rest of the lawn furniture, but he needs Hen's advice on this, needs to be on the level. Eye level or something. "Tommy. Tommy Kinard our leading man, Tommy?" Hen asks dubiously. "Uh yeah. That Tommy." "I'm familiar," Hen says flatly. "Okay, good. Great, even." "Is that it? Pop quiz about our cast over now? No offense, Buck, but some of us actually have real jobs on set today." Buck doesn't know how Hen manages to say emotionally damaging things so affectionately. Eddie mimes stabbing himself with a banana just out of Hen's eyeline.

no pressure tagging @leashybebes, @thatmexisaurusrex, @livelaughlou, @frogsinflannel, @kinardbegins, @fake-mouthstatic and @laundryandtaxesworld if you have something you wanna share!

[canisbrutus]

Hey I really like your headcanons !!! What’s your view on the main three’s relationship with each other?

why thank ya, color me flattered lol. let me see.. this will be Long

Gary & Jimmy 🐍🐕

tragic doomed toxic yaoi etc etc

ultimately they're two sides of the same coin, opposite eachother in a way. both are simultaneously victims and perpetrators, though they differ in motive and response

while jimmy might be too daft to realize, gary knows this and absolutely hates it.

like a fine mix of admiration jealousy and spite

jimmy meanwhile is just fed up his bullshit

but at the same time he doesnt *hate* him.

jimmy doesnt really hate anyone tbh hes just easily pissed off

after the betrayal jimmy is annoyed at best and personally hurt at worst. but he can shrug it off with ease. he doesnt hold grudges

which is yet another thing that drives gary nuts

before the betrayal though. jimmy made gary feel Weird. jimmy's too genuine. too upfront. too honest. Too Real.

he took their friendship seriously. very very few people willingly stood beside gary, minus petey who we'll get to later

and that made him ? scared. confused even. absolutely nobody could be equal with him. even if he liked their relationship

anyway. this vvv

Petey & Gary 🐇🐍

petey primarily hung around gary because he was familiar and it was better than being alone, yes.

but also, these two go back a fair ways. like elementary.

as such, petey knows more about gary than he would like him to.

gary has been through a Lot. he's also Lost a Lot.

petey is one of the few 'things' he has left that really means anything to him.

or. he was, anyway. before the betrayal

shortly after the fight in the pit he got in an argument with gary. cut him deep where it hurts. mentioned something he maybe shouldnt have.

got beaten bloody and thrown away. and gary devolved from there.

despite this petey doesnt really hold it against him either

there's some guilt to him. perhaps a bit of self loathing.

but he couldnt approach gary on his own. his nerves were too shot.

sure gary threw his friend jimmy to russell. and sure gary's been picking on him for years at this point. but to beat the shit out of him, his best friend, after he's stayed with him for just about a decade?

he couldnt trust him again

he hardly trusted him to begin with honestly, gary had been beating him down and making sure he knew whatever prior cuts he made at him didnt hurt in the slightest before.

thankfully jimmy isnt as sensitive as he is.

~~~~~

Jimmy & Petey 🐕🐇

poor kids. two peas in a pod thrown under the bus

petey may have been apprehensive of jimmy at first, due to his general attitude and knack for mayhem.

but as time passed jimmy showed his true colors and proved to be a Good person (if prone to manipulation)

it wasnt long before petey started to trust him more than gary. and after the betrayal, jimmy was all he really had.

(admittedly he did try to join the nerds but earnest called him a faggot and said no)

petey isnt meek. he isn't soft. his venom is often dwarfed by everyone else's, but he still holds a rage. even if he keeps it inside. part of him did want to get back at gary. but another part still felt concern for his old friend spiraling like mad. even moreso considering he pushed him the way he did, with that argument mentioned.

im saying this ^ bc he felt an obligation to advise jimmy on what to do, especially regarding gary. hoping he could get him calmed tf down so they could go back to normal, as friends, again.

but they werent particularly close. kinda like business partners. jimmy blowing him off half the time didnt help matters.

but again. petey didnt have anyone else.

just a poor guy caught in the middle of their homoerotic rivalry

~~~~~

i have so many lores for these stupid cunts.

anyway reminder that my inbox is open for requests in general. woof

[hc masterpost link]

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Headcanon Kate gives the 141 kisses and then immediately bites them to show affection like a cat

HOW DO YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN DEEP IN BITING 141 HEADCANONS

It's a love bite!! She just gets so excited by physical affection she has to nom a little. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

Price and Ghost DO NOT make it easy for her. Ghost, obviously, covering his face a lot, but Price has a beard! She can't nip at his cheek or chin, she just gets a mouthful of beard, that's unacceptable. Sometimes she bites his nose. He's smart, though, can tell when she's bitey, knows to pull away so she can't nab him. So she resorts to biting the back of his hand. He has to shave for some reason and after the first round of novelty wears off (babyface Price?!!?!) new novelty appears because NEW BITING SURFACE!!

Kate tried to bite Ghost's hard shell mask once and hated it. He covers up a lot so she can't ever shrug it off like "oh oops i didn't mean to" she literally has to ruck up a sleeve or tug his collar down. this gives him enough time to plan a RETALIATION BITE.

Not nippy ones like she does, either. Full on chomps. His reasoning is "if I have my teeth in you then i know you are not going off somewhere doing something STUPID" Kate is offended by the implication she does stupid things. rude. This does NOTHING btw to make anyone else on base less intimidated by Ghost. rumors circulate about how he bites hard enough to draw blood and that's with someone he kind of likes! (this did happen, thankfully it was not in public because they were both very kind of into it)

feral bastard man Soap adores the love bites. to the point where if he's feeling down, he'll ask for it because it's a nice little dopamine rush. When the ADHD starts ADHDing he will either bite or ask to be bitten. it works, so nobody questions it. Soap is actually more likely to break skin because he's got sharp chompers. Kate likes to bite the top of his ear. Will use the mohawk to drag his head down if she needs to

Gaz gets nibbles. comparatively gentle bites. the guys are talking about their various Kate Bite Bruises Etc and Gaz is like??? wtf are you on about??? Sure there's a bit of a sting sometimes but she kisses it away. Price makes a comment about maybe she bites harder to match the biting the guys do to her (he is correct for the most part). And Gaz is like. you HEATHENS. why are you BITING HER BACK?

This devolves into a very long (slightly horny) discussion of biting as affection, etc. as well as some brief spirals into "why isn't she biting me harder/softer???" (there's a slight chance that Kate comes by Price's office while this is the hot topic in the guys' group chat and Price relays the entire conversation to her, no this is NOT an invitation to bite me right now Katherine!!!! [Price is the only one who can call her Katherine and he's only done it twice])

Anyway Gaz gets Nice Bites until he has a close call, which prompts a very dramatic kiss from Kate followed by a very mean bite to his neck that bruises almost instantly. Gaz is like great! i now see i was not missing out on anything. let's go back to the nice bites please. (he will get nice bites when he stops doing stupid shit, and Gaz thinks that's a bit rich coming from the queen of stupid shit herself, which earns him another, if slightly nicer, bite)

One of them has the top of his ear nicked from an arrow. Not Ghost, his ears are covered, but at least ONE of the others. I'm pretty sure it's Soap but it could be Gaz. that doesn't have anything to do with biting but is important for us all to know.

[sugarsnappeases]

begging you guys to join jen and i in our fantastic beasts obsession….. you’re missing out on the throuple of all time: leta lestrange + newt and theseus scamander!!!!!! imagine ur childhood friend - your best friend and maybe even only friend apart from all your creatures - goes onto GET ENGAGED to your BROTHER!!!! they obviously had an awkward threesome. like. the summer after newt&leta graduated and they’re hanging out a lot at the scamander house. toeing the line of something and one night it all just devolves and spirals a little out of control. newt then goes on his travels. bc he was always planning on leaving and they all knew he was leaving and maybe he doesn’t think they’ll miss him all that much and maybe he’s running away just a little bit and they don’t ask him to stay and he doesn’t ask them to come with him and when he comes back they’re ENGAGED!!! and leta works for the ministry bc theseus got her a job there bc theseus wants to keep all the people he loves safe and near him and he thinks the ministry can provide that and god. he keeps asking newt to join the ministry too but obviously he never would but aaaaa he just wants newt safe and near and he’s been away for so long and getting involved in such dangerous things and both theseus and leta miss him soooo much and worry for him and talk about him and they got closer after newt left, maybe trying to find him in each other a little, trying to close the gap that he left behind, and eventually that leads to there engagement. and newt keeps a picture of leta in his fucking suitcase and he loves her and he loves his brother but he loves his creatures too and leta looks at him in her family tomb and says YOU NEVER MET A MONSTER YOU COULDN’T LOVE!!!! and then she looks back at them BOTH and says I LOVE YOU and doesn’t specify which one of them she’s talking to and then she dies. for them. bc she loves them. both of them and she always has, and now leta is gone and she’s left a different gap behind bc it’s permanent and she’s not coming back and the brothers will never be able to close that gap but they try. they try and they’re brothers and they look after each other and keep each other safe and near. and theseus is the head of the british auror office and newt is a magizoologist that the ministry HATES w a passion but theseus will still come when newt calls and still follow his lead and god it all just drives me insane. how are you guys not seeing this?!?!?!

[niftukkun]

OCKISS25 DAY 1 : SURPRISE KISS [BunnyRabbit]

I don’t quite forgive him, but I do… care. Somewhat. That he stays with me until time unravels. At this point, it’s just fun to see him scramble to make me happy. / Ah, but how does one go about apologising for dying? I hope what I'm doing makes up for leaving her behind at such a critical time – she seems to be much more settled in the here and now.

Maera Blanc once hopped into a world with a city in revolution, early during her time as a worldhopper – but is it the same Maera that stands here? Is this the same Ambrosia she once worked with that fell between worlds? The details may be blurry, but they both recall the same broad strokes – a revolution, an explosion, a death at such a critical point in time, a revolutionary leader leaving everyone else scrambling to keep the revolution going. Maera… holds somewhat of a grudge. Ambrosia is quite charismatic after all, and clever enough to keep everyone charmed. Keep Maera charmed. She almost tore time apart to get him back, have him lead the revolution to victory – but time would have torn her apart in turn. In the same way one stays wary of something that almost kills them, Maera held a bit of a grudge against charismatic revolutionaries and Ambrosia specifically. Of course, that’s not even mentioning the grief that comes with losing a friend, especially when they worked fairly close together to keep the revolution running.

All of which to say, Maera was extremely blindsided when she slipped and fell between worlds only to come across the one person she anchored a fair bit of resentment and repressed grief to. Their first meeting was… not pretty. Neither were many more subsequent meetings. At some point, after they struck up a tenuous and toxic situationship, Claude had to step in and mediate between them so they could actually talk about things and stop blaming Ambrosia for dying because that’s the kind of toxic shit it slowly devolved into.

The way I write them now - long, long after their initial meeting - has them be a mixture of the kind of couple who bicker a lot but love each other anyway and guy who spoils his tsundere princess of a partner. They have to talk things out a lot, and occasionally Claude has to step in to mediate, but they’re going steady and pretty soft on each other. Maera brings chaos and unpredictability into everyone’s lives (and afterlives), but Ambrosia keeps her settled with the promise of a partner who would sacrifice everything for her even if she won’t sacrifice herself for him in turn – and Maera herself reminds Ambrosia why he became a revolutionary in the first place, why he loves the thrill of chaos and the thrill of exploring and strategizing in new situations and places. It's not perfect – they tend to heighten each other’s worst impulses and instability, and occasionally spiral into chasing the thrill of something new and interesting to the detriment of everyone including themselves – but they’re happy together and they have the others to balance them out. They know they have each other in their worst impulses and sometimes all you need is the trust that someone you love won’t ever leave even if you’re at your worst.

(their ship name of “bunnyrabbit” comes from the fact that they both have rabbit motifs – Maera has a pair of real rabbit ears and an underlying White Rabbit from Wonderland motif, while Ambrosia is heavily connected to the constellation Lepus (rabbit) and wears a mask with rabbit ears.)

[tobiasdrake]

Something i noticed recently was that Apocalymon resembles Etemon after he fused with the dark network, Etemon was also the only other enemy to directly devolve the chosen children's Digimon, with these facts in mind I propose the idea that Apocalymon is an Etemon fan.

:P

In seriousness, this is something I've been musing on. The way it was explained, Apocalymon's existence is steadily breaking down the fabric of reality. So long as they're on this side of the Wall of Fire, distortions in reality occur and the very nature of the Digital World gradually falls apart.

Apocalymon is warping reality, and all the big bad evil guys discovered those distortions in reality and drew on them for power. With no indication that they even knew Apocalymon was a thing that exists.

So the question that's been bothering me since Gennai first mentioned "distortions" way back on File Island is: What are these distortions? How is Apocalymon's reality-breaking power manifested in the Digital World, and in what way are the villains drawing on it? Like, what do the villains actually do with the distortions?

So I've been thinking about this.

Devimon: For Devimon, the thing that stands out the most is his Black Gears. The gears are physical objects that seem to channel Devimon's Death Claw attack, which bends the minds of its victims to serve him.

But they do a lot more than that. We see, both with Leomon and Devimon himself, that Black Gears can pile on each other to sizeshift a recipient into a colossal and ultra-powerful monster. This seems utterly divorced from Devimon's own power.

But they also affect the world around him. The Black Gears alter the very landscape of File Island. By filling the island with gears, Devimon is able to control the shape of the island itself. He breaks it into chunks and sends those chunks out across the ocean like invading warships.

But he isn't physically moving the landmass. He's rewriting reality. Once the Gears in a chunk are destroyed, that chunk shoots right back to Infinity Mountain and clicks back into place where it's supposed to be. Without the constant influence of a Black Gear moving it, the island reverts to its natural state, which is to be together as one large island.

This only makes sense through Apocalymon's distortion. The Black Gears make the physical nature of what File Island is malleable through the same power that is slowly breaking down the fabric of reality. It's what the Dark Masters do to create Spiral Mountain but on a smaller scale.

Etemon: Etemon's kind of an odd-man out. He isn't part of the Devimon -> Vamdemon -> Piemon evolution tree and, in fact, isn't even from the same V-Pet. But he is one of the big bad evil guys and his Dark Network certainly has some... questionable physics, let's say.

The cables of his network can move on their own and also plug directly into Digimon? That's weird. It's also powered by a writhing mass of pure darkness that is never explained and annihilates everything that touches it. Which. Sounds. Awfully familiar.

He's also, as noted, the only Digimon in the series other than Apocalymon with the power to forcibly regress Partner evolutions. He can just... nope the holy light right out of Partner Digimon through his music.

Seems like an Apocalymon Power thing to me.

Vamdemon: VenomVamdemon is the obvious one. He's kind of a Mini-Apocalymon. His existence in Odaiba was tearing down the fabric of both worlds and threatened to merge them into a single reality.

Given what a big nerd he was, if anyone consciously knew of Apocalymon's existence, it was probably this guy?

He also casts a magic spell at one point to open the gate between the two worlds. Which is. Like. Okay, man. Why is there a magic spell that can do that? Why didn't Gennai teach us the magic spell? Or cast it himself? Why did we have to futz around with the cards if there's a lifehack that will just do it for us?

Brute-forcing a door between worlds to open using magic forces never explained that no one has access to? Seems Apocalymon-ish to me.

Dark Masters: For the Dark Masters, Spiral Mountain is the obvious distortion. Once the fabric of reality got weak enough, the Dark Masters were able to give it a good tug and tear it into strips, then weave their own cloth from those strips.

I also think Piemon's vanishing cloth might utilize a reality distortion. That seems way too OP to be a natural ability of his species.

Pinocchimon's weird toys that can remote-manipulate or even teleport the Chosen Children as well as reconfiguring the shape of the forest seem distortion-ish to me too.

[sketchfanda]

Marcy and Rigs:Tales of a vampire queen and her trash boat

(Pictures belongs to @patanu102​ who is also the mad man that came up with this insane crossover ship)

So what’s set to follow in this post is a random couple of one shot ficlets or whatever comes to mind as well as headcanons when it comes to the wild crack pairing of rigby from regular show and Marcelino from adventure time. The human versions pic is my main visual,course some chars in this setting will either be like they are in canon or human, it depends on the funny and what not XD. And may on occasion involve rigby with both marcy and Eileen because hey the guy deserves some love and even with this pair focus,I’m still a riflemen guy to my core. So yeah in this case the setting is akin to regular show canon; seemingly regular world where insane,random wild shit happens be it eldritch abominations showing up because of too many ties in a game of rock,paper scissors or future washed up rock stars coming back in time to kill you because you somehow stole their fame in the future. It just also happens to include anthropomorphic candies and other weird creatures up and to including our resident demon vampire queen.

So background wise marcy is much the same as canon,used to be a regular kid who just so happened to be the spawn of the satanstic archetype eldritch horror Hudson abedeer who at one point became a vampire of course. She’s got some issues of course especially what with a certain  ex of hers but she’s still got some friends that make life a bit easier for her to handle. Such as an antiques dealer by the name of Simon (don’t ask him about that crown he’s got kept under heavy lock and key or the voices Yiu might hear from it about the secrets of ice and snow,DO NOT ignore the signs Especislly the one that says “In the name of all thst is holy,do not touch this crown!”) and a godfather in skips (he’s been around a long time,and yeah him and a few others in the mystic immortals circle aren’t too fond of Hudson). Skips is one of the few adults she would genuinely admire and respect and the closest thing she has to a moral compass of course,and he’s she regularly rocks out with death and she’s nine too fond of his demonic little infant brat Thomas.

So of course it’d be Somethingmoike an open mic night or talent show at the coffee house one evening mordo and rigs in the crowd. And up steps marcy and her scream queens rocking the house with a couple of tunes and rigby is getting a major case of love at first sight bad,like in wayne’s world when the titular char first lays eyes on Cassandra,who also happened to be a kickass cool bass player. Coincidence? I think not,but of course rigby has the dignity and decency to not devolve into a simp,especially on mordecai’s level,that’s for sure!! it’s pretty much like of course they meet up and talk after the show,and before mordo knows it,the duo is a trio as marcy and rigby get along pretty well and share some similar tastes and interests. and like in canon before anyone notices or realises it,they’re dating!! with eileen too because that delightful quirky nerd is the balance to those 2 slackers!! oh sure rigby would love to rub it in mordecai’s face but eileen is the good conscience in this case...marcy though? she’s merciless. it’s a natural fact that from day 1,she’s ruthless when it comes to snarking and making snide remarks at mordo. the guy’s low hanging fruit just ripe for picking out for mockery.

Now regular show being how and what it is,where something seemingly mundane can spiral out of control into mayhem involving space,time and tussling eith secret blonde cults and a giant coffee bean,one such incident being mordo calls Hudson from the nightosphere because of course thst damn simp would think marcy’s got commitment issues due to unresolved matters involving her dad. Only to realise too late Hudson is a soul sucking demon and his obtuse pushy nature in trying to get marcy to take over as his successor as ruler of the nightospehere. Marcy of course is livid to a point she goes full monster and is about ready to unleash the freakin’ apocalypse. Good thing rigby manages to intervene. Never underestimate a determined hamboning slacker raccoon who managed to graduate and get his highschool diploma boys and girls. And that’s a mark on marcy’s blacklist for mordo,among many he’s sure to rack up. Marcy:hey,okay punchies for it? mordo:tch,sure fine,can’t be any worse than rigby Marcy:*bulks uo hr arm muscles to Amazon preportions,windsup* Mordo:wait a-!!!*too late,pow!! Sent flying so hard he leaves a dent impression on the wall* rigby:ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!

Rigby:oooh Uhm…listen I’m kind of a grower….*ziiiiiiiiiip,thud!!* marcy:……get on the bed And of course rigby woild be lying if he said he didn’t find marcy’s monster forms ultra hot..and yes they’d be very active and wild in the bedroom. Mordo still wonders why his bedsheets keep seeming all soaked up. He will never know,ever!! Highfives:Yiu uuuh..got some bug bites on your neck Eileen:eep!*she knew she should’ve told marcy to tone it down with the love bites!!* muscle man:huh,so does rigby..l Rigby:*gives marcy a deadpan look* Marcy:*blep* So yeah possibilities abound with the insanity here.

[downthe-f4ndom-rabbith0le]

My Wonder (Spencer Reid x Reader) - The Connection

My Wonder (Spencer Reid x Reader) - The Connection Word Count: 2494 Reader insert: she/her pronouns. She is not American unless you are, just has a history in American law enforcement Warnings: drug addiction, self-depracation, crying, minor fluff if you squint. Spoilers: none

All his life, Dr. Spencer Reid has been told he is a genius - gifted, different. When you, a new member of the BAU, arrive, he expects the same weirded-out reaction from you as everyone does. But when you don't, and you instead find him interesting, Spencer finds himself forming an attachment to you. And as the years go on, is it really any wonder that he falls for you?

This is one of the six times you secretly say I love you to Spencer: your first real connection.

Full story | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4  | Part 5 | Part 6

It became a casual thing, for you to comment on how wonderful Dr. Spencer Reid was. Every day in the office, whenever you travelled to cases, even out in the field, sometimes in not-so-great situations. 

It was only ever once, but you always managed to find something to say, 'You are a wonder, Dr Reid,' to him. Sometimes it was his full name, sometimes just doctor. Sometimes, he was just Spencer. Apart from JJ, you were the only one who ever really called him by his first name. Oddly enough for him, he liked it when he was just Spencer, not the Boy Genius or freak or computer.

But the next time you told him that and it meant something to him was ten months after he ended his drug addiction.

He sat at his desk in the bullpen finishing some paperwork, or at least attempting to. They'd just gotten back from a long and exhausting case and his brain (the very thing he knew he could always rely on) refused to coordinate with his hands and eyes. The information he wished to write out felt jammed at his fingers tips, appeared blurry in his vision.

'Gosh,' he breathed out, leaning back in his seat defeated as he rubbed at his tired eyes. No doubt black bags sagged beneath them. 

It had been a long, exhausting case. The team had gone to Dallas to find a serial killer who'd been leaving a trail of dead doctors and pharmacists over the span of months which had suddenly turned into weeks, then days once his team joined the case. 

The unsub had spiralled, devolved so to say, alluding to a psychotic break. But when they'd found him, he was not the malicious, sadistic person they'd first expected. Spencer was the first on the scene and had instead found a young man in his early twenties, not much younger than himself. All he'd wanted was some off-market narcotic that took away the pain from the physical abuse he received from his father.

And while Spencer's trauma was not the same, he couldn't help but see the parallels. When he'd looked the young man in the eyes, it was like looking into a mirror. All he saw was himself, drowning in his own trauma, his own fear, his own pain. 

Spencer scoped the bullpen, suddenly noticing the silence. Not a single person was left. He then looked at his watch - half past ten. He hadn't noticed people leaving whatsoever. Not surprising considering his current state, his current condition.

Spencer slowly reached down to the bottom drawer of his desk, a sudden urge coursing through him to do so. Slowly again, almost hesitantly, he pulled it open and leafed through the many spare manilla folders that sat oddly in there until he reached the bottom.

It was just one vial, but just the mere sight of it sent relief rushing through Spencer. Dilaudid. He gently cradled it up to his eyes, admiring how the glass doors of the entrance became obscured as he looked through the transparent but murky liquid. After this case, what he wouldn't give to have a needle right now. Just one hit-

'Well, if it isn't Dr. Spencer Reid burning the midnight oil.'

Spencer almost dropped the vial as he scrambled to shove it deep into his pant pocket just as you appeared out of nowhere from the conference room.

'Sorry,' you said, an apologetic smile already on your lips. 'I didn't mean to startle you.'

'It's okay,' he replied as casually as possible. It was one thing to nearly be caught out by your colleague that you had an illegal narcotic you used to have an addiction for in your hand, but another when that colleague is one you've admired since the day you met. 'I was lost in thought, anyways.'

'Well just as well then. I can only imagine how depthless your brain must go with all that knowledge crammed in there.' You walked down the stairs to the floor of the bullpen and walked to him. You were still in your clothes from the past twenty-four hours, and your light makeup looked like it was lifting off your face like a second skin. Even your unrelenting smile seemed to sag with exhaustion.

Spencer straightened up in his seat, suddenly concerned. 'You okay, (Y/N)? You look-'

'Like trash?' you finished as you pulled up a chair of your own and sat in front of him. 'I have no doubt.'

Spencer looked behind her back into the conference room, his eyebrows furrowing when he spotted stacks of folders and loose paperwork spread across the table. 'That all yours?'

You looked back to the mess of words and paper you'd just escaped and sighed dramatically. 'Oh, yeah. Seems like the longer the case, the more paperwork you have to do. Poor trees.'

'Yeah...' Spencer found it odd how much paperwork you had to get through. Even he didn't have that much to get through. But before he could question you about it, your soft voice filled the damning void that surrounded him.

'How are you feeling, you know, after this case?'

'What do you mean?' he asked.

'Don't give me that,' you say, your smile now replaced by a seriousness Spencer only saw on you when you were making an arrest or in really dire situations. You've worked together for almost three years now, he knew all the faces you pulled, all of your likes and dislikes, how you liked your coffee only after you've completed one task for the day to prove you can survive without it but choose not to. 

He knows you, so it should not be surprising that you know him just as well.

'The moment we found out the unsub's objective, you've been a little... off.'

'Well, it shouldn't be surprising considering that was me just ten months ago,' he said matter-of-factly, pulling back into his shell, putting up his guard. 'I mean, if Hotch hadn't have found out about it, that could've been me-'

'No it wouldn't have.'

Spencer scoffed, but not in a demeaning manner. He just didn't believe you for a moment because he could see the facts, the statistics, in his head. 'Over 45% percent of addicts relapse at least twice. This is without the intervention or support by health care clinics and families and friends, and this case just proved that. So, yes, it could've been-'

'But it wasn't,' you intervened again, your voice echoing like soft thunder through the empty office. It gave you presence, forcing Spencer to look at you, like really look at you, and face what you were about to say.

'You had help and support from people that care about you, Spence,' you continued, sitting forward in your seat. 'And I don't care about the statistics, you're not one of them. You're your own person and you can determine where you add value in life, not by some... statistically-informed percentage prediction... thing.'

That drew a laugh out him, the quiet but sudden sound surprising him slightly. 'Stastically-informed percentage prediction, huh?'

'Shut up,' you grumbled and playfully punched his shoulder. When you both calmed down, you continued. 'When I realised who we were looking for, for a moment I kind of got scared.'

Spencer raised a quizzical eyebrow 'Scared?'

You nodded. 'The truth is that... when you were kidnapped and... you had to endure all that pain alone... I was terrified. We all were. Even when we found you, I was terrified. Because I knew you would never be the same, and not that it's your problem, but I knew in that moment that I would never forgive myself for not finding you sooner. For not going with you and JJ to the farm.'

Tears welled up in your eyes and Spencer immediately leant forward. To do what, he didn't know, he just needed you to know he was there for you, like you always were for him.

'I'm sorry,' you mutter, blinking the tears away before they could fall. 'Your trauma is not my own. I have no right to express my guilt.'

'There's nothing to feel guilty for,' he said, reaching out slowly with his hands, the ones that slightly shook as he laid them on your own. 

To his relief, you smiled. It wasn't full, but it was there. 'You're a horrible liar, Spencer Reid.' That brought some laughter out of you both, lightening the suffocating air of the office. 

'But even when we found out about you and the dilaudid,' you continued, pulling yourself together, if only to let Spencer know your true thoughts. 'I wasn't even mad.'

A large lump formed in Spencer's throat, and he had a hard time swallowing it along with the threat of tears that burned behind his amber eyes. 'You... You weren't?' 

It was the mixture of surprise and hope that pulled at your heart, that made you feel obligated to keep speaking. 'Why should I have been? I was not the one who was tortured mentally and physically by a split-personality murderer; and who also witnesses the darkest, most ugliest aspects of humanity every single day of his life. It was not my place to judge how you hold onto your own humanity.'

Your eyes until then had never left his, but they flickered downwards then, and Spencer froze at where your gaze landed. 

It only lasted a moment before your eyes returned to his, and it startled him the lack of sympathy he finds there, but instead warmth. 'It is still not my place to judge,' you said, twisting your hands so they could clasp his fully. 'All I know is that... you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. So much stronger than me, JJ, Pen, Emily - heck, I'd say you're even stronger than Derek. But not Hotch, Gideon, and Rossi, though. Then again, no one is.'

You both chuckled at that, and all the tension in his body seemed to dissipate at the sound. So light and airy, it was what he imagined heaven sounded like. 

'The point is,' you continued, giving his hands a squeeze, 'you are a wonder, Spencer Reid. We all see it. You've just got to now see it, too.'

Spencer stared at you, dumbfounded and conflicted within himself. He felt like he wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. And a great urge to suddenly engulf you in a hug started itching his limbs, which was weird because he didn't care much physical affection, or affection in general. But before he could decide what he wanted to do, you decided for him.

You gave his hands one last squeeze before letting go and standing up. The absence of your touch left him cold as he followed you as you went back into the conference room to pack up. Surprisingly it didn't take you long until you came back out, your coat and bag in hand.

'Don't stay up too long, now,' you said as you passed him by, your smile so radiant it was almost as if you weren't crying just a few minutes before. 'We've got a long day ahead.'

As soon as the elevator door closed on you, he pulled out the vial of dilaudid and stared it down. It was like it was taunting him, sitting idly, innocently, in his palm, as if it knew he desperately wanted it, needed it.

'...you are stronger than you give yourself credit for... you are a wonder, Spencer Reid. We all see it. You've just got to now see it, too.'

For some reason, though, he suddenly didn't need it. The fire, the urge, the want and reliance for it - he was suddenly weightless with clarity, if only for a moment.

Spencer chucked the vial in the dumpster outside the office when he left. It was hard, but he did it. He knew he wasn't cured, that there was still a long road ahead. But it was a start.

The next day when he came into the office, Derek was the first to comment on his haggard appearance.

'Seriously man,' he said, trailing Spencer out of the break room, 'you look like a ghoul. Did you sleep at all last night.'

'I was here late last night doing paperwork,' he explained, sitting himself and his coffee down at his desk. 'You should go see (y/n), she probably looks a little worse for wear herself from staying late last night, too.'

'Oh, she stayed late too, did she?'

'It's not like that,' Spencer insisted, swatting at Derek pathetically. 'She had a mountain of paperwork to finish of her own.'

'Y/N?' Emily said as she walked by with JJ, identical coffees in their hands. 'She finished her paperwork at about the same time I did.'

'Yeah, we were walking out together before she turned back into the office. Said she had to talk with Hotch,' JJ said.

'I remember that,' Spencer added. 'You guys said goodnight to me on your way out.' Not that he had responded, he suddenly recalled, a pang of guilt punching his gut.

'Who had to talk with me?' The man himself suddenly walked by, stopping at the congregated group upon hearing his name.

'Y/n,' Emily answered. 'Last night.'

'Oh, yes. She, uh, asked if there was anymore paperwork to do.'

'Why would she do that when she was done?' JJ asked. 

'I don't know,' Hotch said, making his way towards his office, 'but who am I to turn away someone who wants to do paperwork for free? Now, briefing in ten minutes.'

As the others dispersed back to their desks, Spencer didn't know how to feel about this new information. It didn't help the matter when you finally dragged yourself into the office, dark circles peaking out from under your thin layer of foundation. But as you sat at your desk, eyes drooping as you logged onto your laptop, he knew just what to do.

It took you a second to register the cup of coffee being held in front of your dazed eyes, and another to realise who was holding it.

'Late night?' Spencer asked, a coy smile on his lips.

Despite your exhaustion, you managed to grab the cup without spilling any of the precious caffeine that would help you through the day. 'Yeah,' you decided to play dumb, answering as enthusiastically as possible. 'Paperwork, you know. Never-ending.'

Spencer hummed, contemplating his next words carefully. 'Well, I hope giving up your sleep was worth it, then.'

'I'd like to think it was.'

The way you didn't hesitate to answer struck a chord of truth in him that left him dumbfounded once more. Twice in under twenty-four hours? That had to be a new record for him.

But instead of freezing up, he managed an honest smile as he clanked his coffee cup with your own. 'Well... it is certainly most appreciated.'

[mychlapci]

okay finally i can go off anon now that we're not being horny!!!!

you have no idea how much of a problem i am going to be for you >:]

right one of the characters i find to be infinitely fascinating in terms of how the fandom looks at them is rung. like for me, rung is a socially awkward aroace autistic. his reason for being in psychology/psychiatry beyond just wanting to understand himself (which is also a reason i think he's autistic bc one of the main symptoms is an inability to understand one's own emotions) is because he wants to make connections with other cybertronians without the social pressures of dating or interfacing.

i think the whole "primus has game" jokes are genuinely really funny because y'know he's literally god, but i do think that in a good ending of the lost light, where rung managed to survive and explore himself through the aspect of godhood, i think he'd find, with his memories restored, that loving other cybertronians on a romantic level is odd to him

he's got these vibes from those around him that this new knowledge, the knowledge that he is literally the being that so many of them prayed to in times of anguish, makes it difficult for them to interact with him in the same way as before. i do still think he'd have genuine connections with nautica, skids (because fuck canon he's living), and megatron.

those three in particular work so well on a platonic level with rung. megatron is someone who i think would find a lot of solace in discussing philosophy and ethics with literal god, also though the lens of the fact that i bet megatron has loads of religious trauma since the functionalists justified their actions through their worship of primus

nautica, being from caminus would also work really well with a newly godhooded rung. like caminus is a heavily religious society as well, arguably more religious than modern day cybertron and i think she and rung would discuss the science and perhaps some of the earlier days of rung's existence together.

and skids. well i can't really see skids seeing rung any differently. i think the two of them are in a queerplatonic relationship. they enjoy each other's company very much.

the idea of rung living to understand his godhood is something that's been bouncing around in my brain for a while because of one of my oc's.

to put it bluntly, this oc, malware, was a former guard of the senate, picked by alpha trion to serve and protect the prime's and their legacy. she's pretty old (roughly 7 million) and when nova prime left for the stars xey suffered a rather intense psychotic break that eventually devolved into her becoming entrapped in a very long series of delusions where primus himself was watching xeir every move.

she ended up betraying the senate and joining the decepticons, where xeir delusions eventually spiraled from primus watching her, to the literally embodiment of the decepticon cause controlling xem. she was friends with damus prior to the war (due to xeir studies of chemistry which he found interesting) and when the DJD got formed she ended up joining as the first helex.

TLDR; malware ends up defecting and starts having regular therapy sessions with rung, alongside a nice dose of antipsychotics. and when the war ends xey join the lost light.

and this leads me to the idea and concept of mecha who have been having therapy sessions with rung having to struggle with potential religious trauma from knowing that the guy who've been talking your religion problems over with is actual god himself. fucked up and evil

i don't think rung himself would really view himself as good interestingly enough. he's shown throughout the series to be a very shy and socially awkward individual, to the point that he can hardly believe the stories that rewind and chromedome tell him about his alternate universe self.

rung is such an interesting character to explore through the lens of having to know that he likely never got to fully understand himself and his backstory before dying and being essentially forgotten by everyone in his life.

it makes me sad to think about because i think rung, of all characters, should've gotten to see a new cybertron. imagine a version of the bad ending where rung, fully understanding his position as a god tries to steer his people towards a brighter future, one where he can help those who truly need it through therapy and proper medication

hopefully this doesn't sound like nonesense. i just love thinking about complex platonic relationships and as much as i'm a shipper, i wish i got to see more platonic rung with the other members of the lost light

just realised i don't gotta cap this off with my anon tag lmao

Rung... I don't think about Rung often enough. But to be honest, I don't necessarily ship Rung with anyone, and i am definitely very fond of imagining him in deep platonic relations with others. We know he's a bit unethical, hehe, making close friends with your patients probably isn't advised, so I really like that edge about him. I always saw him as a bit of a bleeding heart of sorts. He'll go beyond standard procedure to help out his patients...

I mean, religion in transformers has always been kind of iffy, but it's okay we can fix that. The fact that Rung's godhood has not been discussed more is kind of a crime. I would have loved to see people interact with him knowing he's Primus. Maybe some, who have really been hurt by religion, struggle to separate Rung from the religion that caused them trauma - i mean, Rung had nothing to do with that, but it's difficult to think about Primus, who, if we assume they view him the same way we view god, should be almighty and all-seeing and know that he'd done nothing.

love that you snuck in your OC. we are being self-indulgent in this house today‼️it is very curious to think about someone with such a deep, horrible issue with Primus and godhood and finding out that the therapist that helped her out was god himself. I mean, what's that mean for someone whose greatest fear for so long was the thought of god watching their every move... (sorry if i'm butchering OC lore, i'm just rambling on along bc i don't wanna read my philosophy assignment for today)

I honestly could never really gleam Rung's relationship with Cyberton properly, but it would be so interesting if he took a leading role in making it better. I feel like everyone who went with the Lost Light kind of... "ran away" though, y'know, in search of something brighter than the ruined, dead Cybertron they've left behind. Finding out he's Primus, Rung might feel a sense of duty and responsibility to come back and help out...

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE A

The Biologist Propaganda:

She tells the reader that her first hand account of events is scientific and impartial before revealing wayyyy after the fact that she has omitted her huge personal bias from her retelling of the events because she is fully aware that she's an unreliable narrator and is using that awareness to retroactively edit the story in her favour. Truly she's unlike any other protagonist I've ever encountered, its insane. Here's a tumblr text post that sums up everything: https://www.tumblr.com/12thbiologist/713885306846347264/annihilation-is-soooo-good-because-the-biologist?source=share

Yukio Okumura Propaganda (note; this is one submission, tumblr just has a word limit for blocks of text):

content warning for self destructive topics, murder, guns, body possession, suicide, mental illness, religion (?) (never directly mentions christianity), self hatred, dysfunctional family(??), self hatred. just a heads up, if you want to skip this you can. nothing in here is described seriously, its generally needed to understand basic plot points for this manga, so i didnt just include it for no reason!!! dont read this if it could harm you mentally!! its also just really long and kind of devolves into a plot summary near the end. his character explores moral greyness and utilizes his subsequent depressive states in a way thats really interesting to me. its pretty relevant that hes an unreliable narrator even in the early chapters of the manga. something interesting to me is that he's *not* the main character of the manga, so its set up in a way where the reader knows he's an unreliable narrator, but because he sets up a lot of the major exposition, the reader doesnt have a reason to believe him. i know it sounds kind of stupid, but its executed a lot better in the manga!!! its less about him actually *being* an unreliable narrator, and more about what it means for such a major character who introduces part of the plot, to be an unreliable narrator! he's the biological son of satan, but isnt a demon— (this is gonna be hard to explain but the demons in ao no exorcist are only called demons, they're easily equated to demons from abrahamic religions, but they mainly exist as a concept, they first have to develop an ego, and choose a body to possess. higher level demons arent able to possess a body because their power corrupts it and it rots away. satan only called himself satan because his college gf was in a christian cult, which is kind of funny to me because his son, lucifer, already did the whole satan motif. in the ao no exorcist universe, there is no 'god', satan is the ultimate being.)— unlike his maternal twin, rin, who has a demonic heart and ego. yukio is visibly similar to his mother, and is generally puts up a front as being more mature than rin. rin is essentially the direct opposite; he's almost identical to satan in looks and personality.

this definitely hurts yukio alot during the early chapters, because satan brutally murdered their adoptive father, but yukio is partially jealous of rin. he wishes he was as 'strong' as him, as rin had never shown any self hatred or suicidal ideation to yukio earlier on in the series. this eventually drives yukio to seek out lucifer. he convinces himself that lucifer isnt working for satan. he's an unreliable narrator even to *himself*. there's generally a pretty obvious parallel to lucifer with yukio: in the series, lucifer is depicted as wanting to be as 'strong' as his brother, mephisto. lucifer corrupts all of his vessels almost instantly. he's essentially stuck in a miserable cycle, not unlike yukio. we, as the reader, gradually see yukio spiral more and more. we see him lie to the reader and the other characters, until there's a surprising moment of clarity. we see yukio talk about how he mainly hates himself. we see him say this in front of *rin*! he essentially asks rin to kill him, beliving its the only way to escape assiah (earth, also has real world religious meaning). yukio cannot, presumably, be killed. he is essentially immortal during the storyline, which is why none of his suicide attempts have ever worked. this directly parallels lucifer not being able to escape gehenna (hell. this is also just hell in judaism). rin doesnt comply for pretty obvious reasons (not wanting to murder yukio), so yukio shoots him (dont worry rin's body heals almost immediately. no demons were harmed during this story) and rin goes on the journey of self discovery and comes back less mentslly ill (he also dyes his hair black) and talks to yukio. and uhhhh rin defeats satan and everyone clapped . then rin smashed in hatsune miku's face with his sword. i fhink thats blasphemy ? im really tired right now goodnight. tldr: yukio has mental illness and lies i lobe jim. i spent over an hour on this 😭

[bullet-prooflove]

Valentine's Day Bingo: Fair - Vostanik Sabatino x Reader

Tagging: @words-and-seeds @kmc1989 @thiashazzywriting @novamariestark @whateversomethingbruh @reneejett4 @trublu2u @stelacole

Hitting the Single on Valentine's Day Square

You don’t expect to see Nik sitting on your porch when you get home that night, a bouquet of brightly coloured daisies clasped in his hand as he watches you step out of the Uber. The two of you haven’t spoken since the last time he was her. He’d walked out in the middle of a fight and you hadn’t seen him since. That had been over three weeks ago.

You’re dressed up tonight, soft makeup that accentuates your features and a dress that Nik hasn’t seen before. It’s a wine red, off the shoulder affair that highlights your assets. It’s elegant, sexy. The perfect attire for a date. You’re an attractive woman, compassionate and dedicated, any man would be lucky to have you…

That’s what he should have said instead of walking out.

He still isn’t sure how the dispute devolved the way it did. It had started with an argument about him derailing your investigation and spiralled out from there. You’d accused him of being unable to compromise and he’d snapped back because it had hit a little too close to home. He’d gone out to cool his head and before he knew it he was being picked up off the street by Ferris and Henderson before being bundled onto a plane to Iran. Apparently shit was kicking off, he was the only one with the contacts to resolve it. By the time he’d gotten his hands on a burner phone, he was on his way back to the US.

It’s over, Nik realises in that moment.

All of this bullshit with him and the CIA, it’s become too much. He doesn’t blame you, he can’t give you what you deserve. He isn’t around to celebrate your successes, to hold you when you’re having a bad day. He sets the flowers down, his palm rubbing over the beard that lines his jaw. He’d come straight here from the airport, he’s running on fumes. He can barely think straight.

“Sassy.” You say as you sit down alongside of him on the porch. “I was out with Sassy until she got a better offer.”

Just being in your presence makes everything feel a little bit better. You’re like the sunshine after a rainy day, your glow bathing his skin in warmth as you reach for his hand. You clasp it in your own, your thumb tracing over the hollow of his wrist.

“I shouldn’t have walked out like that.” He says finally, his gaze focusing on something across the street. “I didn’t know I was going, I didn’t know…”

He trails off, his voice choked because this is the nature of his life, the reality of it. It’s unpredictable, exhausting, brutal. There’s an ache in his chest and his eyes sting because he’s just so fucking tired. All of the emotions he’s struggled to keep a lid on over the past few weeks come rushing to the surface and for a second he’s overwhelmed.

“Nik…” You say softly.  He tilts his head towards you and you can see the anguish in his eyes, the fatigue. He’s never looked as wrecked as he does in this moment. Whatever happened overseas has taken its toll on him.

 “You were right.” He says quietly. “About always being the one to compromise. It isn’t fair.”

“I knew what I was getting into.” You tell him, your thumb tracing over the curve of his cheek. He closes his eyes at the sensation, savouring it. There had been a moment in Iran where he didn’t think he was coming back and all he could think about was you, how the last words he had said to you were in frustration and anger. “You’re worth it.”

“I don’t know how long I can keep doing this Alana.” He tells you, his forehead coming to rest upon yours. “This job, it’s killing me.”

“Why don’t we go inside and talk about it?” You say and he nods his head, unable to speak as that emotion overwhelms him once more. Your fingertips chasing over the line of his jaw as you whisper against his lips. “I’m going to take care of you Nik, I promise.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[alesyira]

no one better

mirio's getting two one-shot entries. the first will fit in both cute-guy and two-steps AUs right after the BK one shot opener and is like ... maybe halfway done. It'll contain several scenes that kind of set the tone before the agency tragedy. The second one will be only for two-steps AU, with his life further spiraling. :( :( :(

This is (currently) the opening tidbit for #1 but might end up getting padded / revised between now and then.

“You- you want—” Mirio’s breath is stuck in his chest, escaping in a little wheeze as he stares up at the long-time number one hero. “—me?”

All Might’s hands are planted on his hips with that picture-perfect megawatt smile plastered across his face. He’s the very image of the ultimate hero. “I have found no one better!”

Mirio doesn’t often cry. 

The last time he can recall the telltale prick in his eyes had either been the news of his dad’s promotion or when he’d seen Amajiki’s face transform into sharp, fierce joy at his first intern offer letter to Fatgum’s agency (right before it devolved into horrified realization that he’d have to interact with people).  Those are both good memories, filled with near-overwhelming pride and happiness for his loved ones. 

All Might’s declaration should make him feel warm. 

It’s meant to be encouraging and inspiring! 

(…he can’t help but wonder, how long have you looked?)

He’s only finished his second year of training, and it has been two very long, very hard years. It makes sense to pick someone while they’re young, but surely there are other candidates with greater history of success? 

He wonders if Sir Nighteye finally cracked and used his quirk to determine Mirio’s long-term future, despite his oath that he’d never use it like that again. Does he know something about how Mirio will turn out that this is the best option available?

Or does he just have this much faith in his intern?

He straightens, allows an easy smile to cross his mouth, and stares the greatest hero in history in the eye. He can feign self-confidence even if he’s feeling a little lacking while standing right next to this mountain of perfection. He still has so far to go, but with more specialized training under this amazing hero, Permeation could eventually prove to be a worthy successor to All Might’s immeasurable strength. 

He’s worked so hard, and he will continue to rise to the challenge. 

…Except, much of his hard work means so very little in the end.

[magnaflourious-nerdity]

krisnix for fucked up ship bingo :3

Oh my GOD krisnix is. Hmmmm I have read so many many delightfully fucked up fics between these two. If you want your perfect toxic ship dynamic it's this.

The power dynamic struggle. The manipulation mansplaing and manslaughter. The gaslighting. The gatekeeping. The girlbossing. Their relationship is a 4 dimensional game of chess and I obsess over the many ways they try to break each other open and devour the other.

There's so many different flavors of fic and they are all dripping with turmoil and I love them.

Blackmail? Check framed for crimes up to and including murder? Check. Forced dates to gloat? Check.

Kristoph as a villain is my favorite of the series because of the way that he insinuates himself into phonex's life and directly take control of it like a gay little puppet master. He leads to the most interesting character developments of phoenix personality and my favorite portion of cannon to read fics of (7 year gap, my beloved).

He didn't even ruin phoenix's life for his OWN triumph. He did it for a continuation of a family legacy. (Do NOT get me started on the relationship between kristoph and klavier bc o will devolve into frothing madness) and the absolute butch power move of him being the only person to vote NOT to disbar phoenix is so deliciously manipulative.

How long did it take for phoenix to realize? Was he aware the whole time? Did he grow to care for kristoph genuinely? How much did kristoph enable his spiral to keep him dependant? What was the relationship like as a "family unit" (incorrect) with truly involved? What did miles think? What did he do? I AM SCREAMING THINKING ABOUT THEM.

AND AND AND the comparisons we can make to dahlia? One of the other 3 most single defining romantic relationships of his life??? (Shhh Krisnix is canon, and so is, obviously, wrightworth. You all have to accept this. or don't but never labor under the delusion that I do not consider it to be so) the fact that both utilize poison aimed at hurting phoenix and use it to destroy his reputation in a court of law os just the TIP of the iceberg. He has destroyed himself for both of them, as he does for anyone he is involved with.

I could go on forever but I am definitely loosing coherence and soon will just devolve into screaming wordlessly and pointing but, yeah. They sure are something I have a lot of feelings about