#ask the tight-knit falsettos

[this-tastes-lemony]

Falsettos Food Theory

Okay so someone asked what this is and I really wanna explain! So the falsettos food theory is that food represents love throughout the Marvin trilogy.

In the show, In Trousers, Marvin is very strict about what kind of food he wants, and he gets very upset when he doesn’t get it imminently or the way he wants. For example, in the song ‘How Marvin Eats his Breakfast” there is the lyric,

“No one looks busy in this kitchen

And my breakfast isn't ready

And my stomach aches.”

This is in reference to that no one at that moment is giving him the love that he wants, and that he aches for it. Later in the song he also says ,

“I don't want miracles from heaven

Just some eggies over spinach over toast

No, I will not apologize!

She should win a prize:

Very best emoting

That girl can't cook”

When he says the first line he doesn’t literally mean he just wants a basic breakfast, he means that he doesn’t want much, he just wants to feel loved. By saving “that girl can’t cook” he doesn’t mean she’s lousy at making food, he means that she doesn’t give him the kind of love that he wants. One of the other ladies says

“maybe she can’t cook, but have you seen her milk a cow?” Implying that sexually she “provides” to Marvin, even if he doesn’t romantically like her (obviously this means nothing, just because they can be sexually active does not mean that it is love).

Another one is in Whizzer Going Down he says,

“he hates my wife

I hate his food”.

He’s saying he hates when Whizzer shows him love because he is not ready to accept the fact that he can be loved and he can love another man.

There are many more references of this in the show In Trousers and if anyone wants to hear them I’ll gladly go into it in another post!!

The ones in Falsettos are even more obvious references to love. In the song Tight Knit Family, Marvin sings,

“We all eat as one

Wife, friend, and son

And I sing out as they cook

I love my tight-knit family

I love the way they cook linguine”

They all eat as one meaning they are all receiving love from one another, even if it isn’t good. The next line being “I sing out as they cook” (singing out meaning to say or shout something loudly, most likely implying the unhealthy relationship he’s in with his family) this line is saying that while they provide him love and what ever he asks, he continues to complain about it.

However, in the next line he says “I love the way they cook linguine” which is a considered normal traditional meal for a lot people. This is showing that he enjoys when they provide him with basic normal love, instead of arguing or disagreeing with him.

Another reference later on in the musical is in the ENTIRETY of the song “This Had Better Come To A Stop”. The first set of unique lyrics though is what I’ll cover.

“Whizzer's supposed to always be here

Making dinner, set to screw

That's what pretty boys should do

Check their hairlines, make the dinner

And love me”

This is saying that Whizzer is supposed to always be at Marvin’s command, loving him and giving himself to Marvin sexually at all times. He mentions making dinner twice in these lyrics, again implying that he doesn’t want Whizzers love unless it’s later in the day once he’s gotten his love from his other family ( breakfast specifically).

Another general reference to food equaling love is Cordelia’s entire character. All she does throughout the show is provide food and such to the characters, this being her giving them constant love. Since Cordelia was giving Marvin so much food (presumably) during the two year gap during intermission, we can assume that her unique and (sometimes) not so great food taught him that he doesn’t always get to choose what to eat, but that he should be greatful someone is cooking for him anyway. I think Cordelia is one of the most amazing characters in the story.

For all of the song “Days Like This” she’s trying to get Whizzer to eat something, meaning she’s trying to share her love with him.

In the song “Jason’s Bar Mitzvah”, Dr. Charlotte says

“She's cooked for some 200 guests

[CORDELIA]

We number not that many

Actually... we're seven”

This shows that she has provided so much love for all of these people, even though there’s only seven. Only a couple lines later, she tries the food Cordelia made, and says that the food “tastes really yummy.” (in the pro shot Trina nods her head to agree).

This is important to me because it shows that Cordelia finally found a way to show/express her love with the rest of the characters, and have them reciprocate it for the first time on stage, showing that they are all at peace and finally love each other.

Just like in trousers there are hundreds of more references in Falsettos so if any of you would like me to go more into it I’d be happy to!

This is all speculation of course, we don’t know if any of this was intentional, buts it’s by far my favorite thing to talk about that’s falsettos related. Hope you enjoyed reading!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

just began plotting out three new fics so feel free to ask me questions about them bc i would LOVE to discuss them 🤭🤭🤭

1. Nobody Else (Gave Me A Thrill)

in the early 1950s when up and coming studio star Buck Buckley is cast in a film with hollywood legend Eddie Hudson, he doesn’t expect it to change his life quite the way it does. from afar, Eddie Hudson seems to have it all— a successful career in Hollywood, a string of starlets who would lay themselves at their feet, and looks that could kill— but beneath his suave surface, he hides a second life; in which he isn’t Eddie Hudson, world famous movie star, but Edmundo Diaz, a single father who harbors more than one secret that could ruin his career entirely; one, he is a latino man who comes from a ranching family in Texas, and two, he is a homosexual

2. Raising Buck

When carefree and buckwild (no pun intended) Evan Buckley, executive assistant at one of LA’s hottest modeling agencies, is suddenly the legal guardian of his brother’s three children, he is forced to grow up quickly. While struggling with his new role, as well as dealing with his sister Maddie who doesn’t understand why Daniel would have chosen immature Buck over her to raise his children, Buck has to decide between his lavish career, and his newfound family who are relying on him to provide. Oh, and it doesn’t help that he has a crush on their school principal; a single-father catholic priest who has seemed to make it his mission to ensure buck becomes a bumbling blushy mess whenever he’s around him. (or the Raising Helen 2004 fusion fic)

3. Love is Blind, Love’s Unkind

It’s 1979, and Eddie Diaz’s family most certainly don’t live by the book. His life became upended when he divorced his wife, left his child, and ran off with his best friend. When his wife and son begin to go crazy over his desire to remain a tight-knit family, he urges them to see his psychiatrist; a decision that does not play out the way he planned. How will eddie handle his wife falling for his shrink, his son’s impending confirmation, his lover’s commitment issues, as well as the lesbians who have moved in next door? and what the hell is this worrying new disease beginning to spread around? (or the Falsettos fusion fic)

[thegaycousin-upgrade]

Falsettos 2016 Spoilers:

Ik this isn’t some big revelation but it’s pride month and I want to point this out, parallels between Act 1 and Act 2:

Act 1: The chess game represents the end of Marvin and Whizzers relationship, Whizzer winning at Marvin’s game.

Act 2. The second racket ball game represents the end of Marvin and Whizzers relationship (for other reasons), Marvin winning at Whizzers game (Ik this one is obvious)

Act 1: Marvin regrets loving both Trina and Whizzer, longing for the life he could have had if he didn’t. (I never wanted to love you)

Act 2: Marvin is extremely thankful he ever got the opportunity to love Whizzer, and thinks of how horrible his life would be if he didn’t get to love him. (What would I do)

Act 1: Whizzer sings of the ending of Marvin and his relationship, blaming himself (the games I play)

Act 2: Whizzer sings of the ending of his life, exploring the unfairness of not deserving this, but accepting it nonetheless the less (You gotta die sometime)

Act 1: Mendel has no real interest in helping Marvin (or any of his patients for that matter), just really simping over Trina ( Marvin at the Psychiatrist)

Act 2: Mendel puts it best: ‘How can I help’ asks the wirey psychiatrist (Days like this)

Act 1: Trina feels helpless and angry at Marvin and Whizzer, like everything around her is breaking down (Breaking Down)

Act 2: Trina feels helpless, because she can’t help Whizzer (holding to the ground)

Act 1: Trina says her family is breaking up, They all say their a mess (Breaking down & Everyone tells Jason to see a psychiatrist)

Act 2: the family all comes together to celebrate Jason’s Bar Mitzvah in Whizzer’s hospital room (Jason’s Bar Mitzvah)

Act 1: Marvin says that [he] want[s] it all. ( Tight knit family & reprise)

Act 2: Marvin says to Whizzer that all [he] want[s] is you. (A day in falsettoland)

Act 1: Jason thinks he resembles his father to closely (Hason at the Psychiatrist)

Act 2: Don’t know why but he looks like Marvin (Jason’s Bar Mitzvah)

[falsenettleland]

ohhh something about falsettos and growing up and learning what it means to be a man…

four jews in a room establishing the pettiness of the men. we’re manipulating people and we need to know our worst sides aren’t ignored. marvin talking about his ideal tight knit family where he’s the man of the house. i want it all. they faked dispair, they wet their bed, they combed their hair, they acted dead. want me. feed me. i bring home the bacon. make the dinner and love me. he’s a sometimes worthless. i’ll pay the bill until you’re old. i want to speak with whizzer. he wasn’t very smart but he was rich. love me please. he’s like a baby who’s denied. you’ve got a temper that redefines temper. he and whizzer live like… someone’s bringing you dinner. i’m not a giant man. i want a wife who knows what love is. the family was mine. they throw their knives. who is man enough to march to march of the falsettos. teach it to your brother. we’re lacking in maturity. treat him nice. now protect him. be a patsy, lose at chess.. clip the coupons. make the dinner and love him. he decides the role to assume. men and women talking. these are the games i play. ask me if i need him. get him out of my way. what i’ve done to you is rotten. i keep marching in place. watch as you sing how your voice will get much lower. a man kid, you’ll be kid. sing for yourself. it’s about time to grow up and face the music. it’s about growing up getting older living on a lover’s shoulder. this is the year of jason’s bar mitzvah. his life’s about to start! selecting girls for ones bar mitzvah. god, that’s the miracle of judaism. when you play me you win. all i want is you. it’s a celebration where i get presents. we laugh, we fumble, we take it day by day. and his lack of control kills what’s best in his soul and this is the start of his becoming a man. but if you could make my friend stop dying, god, that’d be the miracle of judaism. let’s have my bar mitzvah here! how’d you turn out so great. who do i thank for the man you became. once i was told, that good men get better with age. we’re just gonna skip that stage.

[donotlookatmepleaseandthankyou]

Doing this in one go because it's late at night and I'm bored:

Marvin (red-flag I know, I just find him compelling)

Mendel (I have a very complex love-hate relationship with this HIPPA-defying bastard)

None, they are all wonderful

Cordelia/Charlotte (they're both genuinely so lovely and complex and unfortunately get pushed to the wayside by the tight-knit family far too often)

Whizzer/Marvin (I'm a simple creature)

I literally could not pick just one under threat of death (I have been listening to "A Marriage Proposal" and "Days Like This" a lot this week though)

Maybe "Holding to the Ground" (it's still super good, it's just not one I've found myself listening to on repeat a whole bunch)

A Day in Falsettoland (there's no analysis for this, I just love it)

Everyone Hates His Parents (the one good thing Mendel did in the whole show was add those funky little adlibs)

"Unlikely Lovers" personally gets me every time, but "What Would I Do" and "Father to Son" are both pretty strong contenders imo

MARVIN!! I could literally talk about that bastard for hours (he means so much to me I literally feel sick writing this)

I would add the song where Mendel sings about being a shit psychiatrist back in (I'm kidding, I love the show as is, hating on Mendel is just a fav pastime of mine)

I subscribed to the notion that Whizzer was being wholly wronged by Marvin initially, but the OBC version of "The Chess Game" awakened me (I like him and his relationship with Marvin more now, because them both being flawed is infinitely more compelling than Marvin just being a douche)

ANY!! Especially anything that Marvin sings in (put me in coach, please please pl)

...Marvin (red-flag, I know)

I plead the fifth

Cordelia (I just want to talk to her and I wish she was more present in the show)

Jason throwing his Bar Mitzvah in the hospital with Whizzer (it's a simple answer, but that really was impactful for everyone in his inner circle)

Mendel (he may be a bitch, but he has killer harmonies)

Christian Borle probably (I've seen him the most in other things), although I truly do adore the whole cast

I actually have made most everyone important to me watch the damn thing...soo...(I showed them "The Chess Game")

Act One (I love "Falsettoland" but "March of the Falsettos" is a beast that for brevity's sake I cannot address in full)

Marvin. That's it. Ask me about him and I can talk for days. Also Mendel (although for entirely different - and slightly more hateful - reasons)

Gordon Schwinn from "A New Brain" (I think he would go insane instantly and I find that concept utterly hilarious)

...Marvin (red-flag, I know)

Jason and Whizzer (another basic answer from me, but Whizzer was so important to Jason and so incredibly influential in his formative years that I can't help but adore how he became an example of "healthy" masculinity for the kid)

"Don't make noise but Daddy's kissing...boys!!"

MENDEL (FUCK YOU MENDEL WEISENBACHFELD YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID)

Literally, everything that comes out of this fandom is instantly a favorite...soo...

I just love this show to a degree that is noncommunicable via coherent worse...so...GHAGUYGUSIHOAHIABIAHGWIIA FALSETTOS!!

The End!

[foundfamilyappreciation]

Welcome All to the first ever Found Family Face-off! Thank you all for the 100+ (!) submissions and apologies to those whose nominations didn't make it. Polling will begin this week, with each group of 8 face-offs released daily (hopefully)

To help speed things along too i'm hoping that you guys can help me find good pictures for each of the groups mentioned, especially for the ones i'm not as familiar with, mainly those in Group D and some in Group B. Submissions are open and in the case where the medium is non-visual and you want to submit fan art, please ask the artist for permission before doing so and give full credit.

Anyway, please meet your contestants and round 1 matches below. Let the Found Family Face-off begin!

Group A

Voyager Crew (Star Trek: Voyager) vs DS9 Crew (Star Trek DS9)

TOS Crew (Star Trek: The Original Series) vs TNG Crew (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

Team Fivey vs Original TARDIS Team (Doctor Who)

AR-1 Crew (Stargate Atlantis) vs SG-1 Crew (Stargate SG-1)

The Avengers vs Guardians of the Galaxy (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Black Widow Family (Marvel Cinematic Universe) vs Byers-Hopper Family (Stranger Things)

Legends Crew (Legends of Tomorrow) vs Team Flash (The Flash)

Batfam (DC Comics) vs The X-Men (Marvel)

Group B

What We Do In The Shadows Family: Movie vs TV show

Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death) vs The Scooby Gang (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The Nine-Nine (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) vs The BAU (Criminal Minds)

The Greendale Study Group (Community) vs Julie and the Phantoms (Julie and the Phantoms)

Tight-Knit Family (Falsettos) vs St Cassian Chamber Choir (Ride the Cyclone)

The Gangsey (The Raven Cycle) vs The Lyctor Project (The Locked Tomb)

Nevermoor Family (Nevermoor series) vs The Flock (Maximum Ride)

Group C

Team Friendship vs Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Puss in Boots: The Last Wish)

The Plantar Family (Amphibia) vs Trollhunter Family (Tales of Arcadia)

Bad Girl Coven vs Noceda Family (The Owl House)

Gaang (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs Krew (Legend of Korra)

Pelekai Family (Lilo and Stitch) vs The Crystal Gems (Steven Universe)

Planet Express Crew (Futurama) vs The Mystery Gang (Scooby Doo)

Ghost Crew (Star Wars Rebels) vs Team Voltron (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Hamato Clan (TMNT 2003 vs ROTTMNT)

Group D

Bucci Gang (Jojo's Bizarre Adventures) vs Bebop Crew (Cowboy Bepop)

Straw Hat Pirates (One Piece) vs The Visored (Bleach)

Forger Family (Spy x Family) vs Buddy Daddies Family (Buddy Daddies)

Armed Detective Agency (Bungo Stray Dogs) vs Team Urameshi (Yu Yu Hakusho)

Class 3-E (Assassination Classroom) vs Phantom Thieves (Persona 5)

The Dreemur Family (Deltarune) vs Undertale Family (Undertale)

IPRE/Bureau of Balance (The Adventure Zone: Balance) vs The Riptide Pirates (Just Roll With It)

Vox Machina vs The Mighty Nein (Critical Role)

[mccarthawrites]

Family Photos

Relationships: Marvin/Whizzer, Trina/Mendel, Charlotte/Cordelia

Rating: General Audiences

Summary: The tight-knit family gets their photos taken by Whizzer’s ex-boyfriend who Cordelia hates. She doesn’t hate anyone.

Words: 2,357

The Charles Winston Saga || Falsettos Masterlist

Mendel fought with his tie. Marvin never specified if the dress code was formal or not, so to be on the safer side, Mendel decided to dress up.

“Mendel?” Trina walked into the bedroom and watched Mendel fight with his tie for a few moments before laughing. “What are you doing?”

“I am trying to finish getting dressed.” He explained, letting the tie hang around his neck.

“Keyword: trying.” Trina laughed. “Forget the tie. Unbutton the top button of your shirt and you’ll be fine.”

“But-”

“Mendel, honey, don’t bother arguing. Today is not the day. Marvin will tell you.” Trina sighed. “Come on. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get there and then we can get this all over and done with. Jason and I will be in the car.”

“Okay.” Mendel followed what Trina said and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He checked his phone to find three texts from Marvin.

Marvin: Don’t bother arguing with Trina today.

Marvin: Seriously.

Marvin: You will lose and sleep on the couch. Believe me. I know from unfortunate experience.

There goes the warning. Mendel put his phone back in his pocket and took a deep breath, bracing himself for the day. He knew it was going to be stressful.

“Whizzer! Come on, I want to be the first ones at the studio.” Marvin whined, standing by the front door.

“Hey! It takes hard work to look this good!” Whizzer yelled from the bathroom. Marvin checked his watch, as his partner joined him in the foyer. “Alright. Let’s go.” He wore a bright pink polo and jeans.

“He’s wearing jeans for once. It’s a miracle!” Marvin teased.

“Fuck off. You said it was a casual family photo.”

“Come on, Charles is expecting us.” Marvin told him.

“Yes, because you had to take him up on his offer.” Whizzer rolled his eyes, grabbing his leather jacket.

“You, yourself said he’s one of the best photographers.”

“He’s fucking great, but he’s also the scum of the earth.”

“You said you had no problem with having the photos done at his studio! Now you have an issue? The day of?” They left the apartment.

“No. I don’t have an issue with him doing the photos, I just wish I didn’t have to see his face.”

“He’s giving us a pretty good discount.”

“Still doesn’t make it any easier. Let’s go. We can argue in the car.” Whizzer grabbed his keys and sunglasses. He knew Charles and Marvin weren’t going to make today pleasant.

“Delia? We have twenty minutes to get there before Marvin calls and starts bitching that we’re late.” Charlotte explained, as she waited for her wife to say goodbye to their three cats for the fifth time. “We’ll be back. It’s not like we’re leaving them for the weekend.”

“I know, but no doubt we’ll be there all day, knowing Marvin. I’m going to miss them.” Cordelia explained, picking up Ezekiel - named by Jason. “They are our children and we are leaving them for a long time.”

“Alright. Well, hurry up so we can leave.” Charlotte couldn’t help but smile at the blonde. As quirky as Cordelia was, Charlotte loved her more than anything.

“Alright, boys, both mamas are leaving for family photos. Be safe. Don’t answer the door for anyone and don’t throw a party. We will know.” Cordelia put Ezekiel down. “We will be back as soon as we can. Max is in charge.” Charlotte wasn’t much of a cat person, but seeing how happy Cordelia was taking care of the local strays, she couldn’t say no. She had to admit she was becoming fond of them. Especially Ezekiel, whom she lovingly called Zeke. They got him as a kitten and he was the youngest and least annoying.

“Don’t forget to use the lint roller in the car. Mendel and Marvin’s allergies are sensitive.”

“Right! Did we leave enough food?” Cordelia asked.

“Yes.”

“Water?”

“Of course.”

“But what if they want to watch TV?” Cordelia asked. Charlotte looked at her.

“Delia, they’re cats.”

“We watch Chopped all the time!”

“Fine.” Charlotte turned on the TV. It was always on Food Network because that was all they watched. “Can we go now?”

“Thank you.” Cordelia kissed Charlotte’s cheek and they left the apartment.

Whizzer and Marvin pulled up to a brick building. A large white sign read “Winston Photography” in golden lettering. They got out of the car and walked into the studio. It was empty except for some backdrops, a few tripods and some props.

“Charles?” Marvin asked. “Is anyone here?”

“Hi! Sorry.” The handsome blonde, Charles, exited a door in the back. “Good morning, gentlemen!”

“Hi, Charles.” Marvin shook his hand. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well. How are you, Micah? You look good.” Charles sized Whizzer up and down. “Have you been working out?”

“My name is Whizzer.” He took off his sunglasses.

“Right. Sorry.” Charles’ smile didn’t budge.

“Everyone should be here shortly.” Marvin tried cutting the tension.

“Great! I cleared my day because I know how hectic family portraits are.” Charles explained.

“We really appreciate it. Right, Whiz?” Marvin looked at Whizzer.

“Yeah, sure.”

“This is a nice studio.” Marvin tried making small talk, praying that everyone would get there soon.

“Thank you! I am thinking of expanding it and finding a partner. What do you say, Whizzer? Are you looking for a partner?” Charles asked.

“You know I work alone.”

“You didn’t always work alone. Think about it. I know you don’t have a studio. Renting a place for a day isn’t going to help your business grow. I’ll add your name to the sign. It’ll be Winston-Brown Photography.”

“Shouldn’t it be alphabetical?” Whizzer asked.

“You used to think Winston-Brown sounded better. We used to work so well together.”

“Did we? I don’t remember.” Whizzer shot back. Marvin checked his watch, anxiously waiting for the rest of the family. Someone hit the front door, grabbing the three men’s attention. Mendel tried pushing the pull door.

“One of your friends?” Charles asked.

“My kid’s other stepfather.” Marvin explained, sighing in relief. Trina pulled open the door, taking Mendel by surprise. He held the door for his wife and son.

“Thank you, honey.” Trina and Jason walked into the studio. “Hi.” She smiled at Marvin, despite already being annoyed.

“Hey, kid.” Marvin rustled Jason’s hair.

“No! Stop.” Trina barked, fixing Jason’s hair. “Sorry. I just-” She sighed. “How are you?”

“We’re doing alright. This is Charles, our photographer. Charles, this is Trina, Mendel and Jason.” Marvin did a roll call.

“Pleasure.” Charles shook Mendel’s hand. Whizzer and Trina exchanged a look of annoyance. “Who else are we waiting for?”

“Just two more people. My son’s godmothers.” Marvin replied.

“Well we can start with photos of Jason and his dads.” Charles suggested.

“Shouldn’t we wait til everyone’s here?” Trina asked.

“Maybe we should. Is that okay?” Marvin asked Charles.

“Yeah. Of course. I’ll be in the darkroom. Let me know when you want to start.” Charles smirked at Mendel before going into a back room.

“Oh- my God! Is he serious?” Trina asked. Whizzer laughed. “You dated that prick?”

“Unfortunately.” Whizzer scoffed.

“Hey, come on. He’s doing us a favor. He gave us a discount.” Marvin defended Charles.

“He was flirting with my husband! Or at him.” Trina replied, visibly upset.

“He was?” Mendel asked, clueless as usual.

“I’m sure Charles flirts with every man he meets. He flirted with me the first time we met.” Marvin explained.

“Don’t remind me.” Whizzer took a deep breath.

“I don’t mind him.” Jason spoke up. All four adults looked at him.

“Sorry?” Trina asked.

“Charles. He seems alright.” Jason shrugged.

“Because you don’t know him.” Whizzer replied. “The only reason we’re here is because he’s good at what he does.”

“We’re not late, are we?” Charlotte and Cordelia rushed into the studio.

“Finally! No, you’re on time.” Whizzer was relieved to see his best friend. “Now we can get this over and done with so I never have to see Charles again.”

“Who’s Charles?” Charlotte asked.

“Whizzer’s evil ex-boyfriend who is taking out photos today.” Cordelia explained.

“He’s not evil!” Marvin replied.

“Wow. If Cordelia doesn’t like him he really does suck.” Trina sighed. Rolling his eyes, Marvin walked towards the back room to get Charles. “Don’t take too long or we’ll have to go in after you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me everything on the car ride here?” Charlotte asked her partner.

“Oh, baby. That story is too long for a car ride. You have no idea.” Cordelia told her. After a few moments, Marvin returned with Charles, laughing at something he said. It made Whizzer’s skin crawl.

“Oh, Delia.” Charles smiled at Cordelia. “It’s been years. How are you?”

“Hi, Chad. My name is Cordelia and I’m fine.” Cordelia’s coldness was unlike her.

“And who’s this? Hi. I’m Charles.” He introduced himself to Charlotte.

“I’m Charlotte, Cordelia’s wife.” Charlotte replied, shaking his hand.

“Oh, so you’re the godmothers? Makes sense. Alright. What do you want to start with first?’ Charles asked. Everyone looked at Marvin.

“How about Jason and his dads?” He shrugged.

“Sounds good! What color backdrop do you want?” Charles asked, walking towards some backdrops. “We have navy, gray, off-white-”

“Gray.” Whizzer answered after looking at Mendel and Marvin’s outfits.

“Gray it is. I think Jace should be in the middle.” Charles explained, setting up the gray backdrop.

“Jace?” Trina questioned.

“Jason.” Charles clarified.

“Marvin and I named him Jason, not Jace. I would appreciate it if-”

“It’s okay mom. It’s a nickname!” Jason tried calming down his mother. Mendel put his hand on Trina’s back before joining the other three by the backdrop.

“Fine.” Trina took a deep breath. Tensions were high and they had barely started.

“Are you okay?” Cordelia and Charlotte moved closer to Trina as the men posed for their portraits.

“I’m fine. I just-” Trina motioned towards Charles.

“I get it. Charles is a dick.” Cordelia kept her voice down. “But he’s a damn great photographer, I’ll give him that.”

“He tried flirting with Mendel. Good thing my husband is too doltish to have noticed.” Trina replied.

“Sounds like him. He’s a whore.” Coredelia scoffed. “He treated Whizzer like trash when they were together. I fucking hate him so much.”

“You don’t hate anyone.” Trina looked at Cordelia.

“Yeah, well he’s the exception. I don’t even think Marvin knows what happened between them, because if he did, we wouldn’t be here.”

“What happened?” Charlotte asked, concerned.

“I’ll tell you when we get home. Not here.”

“You’ve gotta tell me too.” Trina pried.

“Fine, but not here.” Cordelia promised.

The family decided to take a break after the first three hours of shooting. No one could agree on which position was the best for each photo and there had been non-stop arguing. Whizzer, Trina, Cordelia, and Charlotte went outside for some air. Charles was speaking to Marvin while Jason and Mendel were playing around with some props.

“So are you and Whizzer serious?” Charles asked. Marvin looked at him.

“Isn’t that a bit unprofessional to ask a client?” Marvin asked.

“I thought we were friends. You are getting the friends and family discount.” Charles replied.

“Fair enough. Yes. Whizzer and I are serious. Why do you ask?” Marvin asked.

“I was just asking. The night we met at the museum, he seemed really controlling. Just want to make sure he’s good to you.” Charles told him. Marvin scoffed.

“He just gets jealous sometimes.”

“Oh, yes. I remember that.” Charles laughed, dryly. “Part of the reason we didn’t stay together.”

“He doesn’t like talking about the past.”

“Sounds like him. How is he with Jace? The Mi- Whizzer I knew never liked kids.” Charles explained.

“He’s a great stepdad. He loves Jason and Jason loves him. Sometimes I think Jason likes him more than me.”

“You seem like a great dad.”

“Thanks. I think we should get back to the photos. Hey, kid. Can you go outside and tell them we’re going to continue?” Marvin asked. Jason nodded and ran outside to be greeted by a puff of smoke.

“Shit! Sorry, sweetie.” Trina fanned the smoke out of his face. “Does your father want us back inside?”

“Why are you smoking?” He asked.

“Sometimes you need a cigarette when you’re putting up with Chuck Winston.” Cordelia took another puff, blowing the smoke away from them.

“Come on.” Charlotte took the cigarette, putting it out on the wall.

“Dad wants to continue.” Jason explained.

“Alright. Let’s go.” Charlotte and Cordelia followed Jason back inside. Trina offered Whizzer the cigarette she shared. He shook his head, making her throw it on the ground and stomp it out.

“Ready?” She asked.

“No, but I want to go home.” Whizzer held the door open for her. They walked back into the studio, not looking forward to the rest of the shoot.

It took another three excruciating hours before the family portraits were finally finished. Tensions had calmed down towards the end because everyone just wanted to get dinner and end the day already.

“Alrighty, looks like we are all done here.” Charles announced, looking at the photos on his tablet.

“How long will it take?” Mendel asked.

“You can pick up the prints on Friday. They’ll all be under Marvin’s name.” Charles told them. “It was a pleasure photographing you guys.”

“Thanks again, Charles.” Marvin shook Charles hand.

“Everyone here is eligible for the friends and family discount. So if you need any photos, don’t be a stranger.” He told them before disappearing into his dark room.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I am in the mood for ice cream.” Cordelia explained, wrapping her arms around Charlotte.

“Sounds good, but what’s happening for dinner?” Whizzer asked.

“There’s a great buffet downtown. A few coworkers and I go there for work sometimes.” Charlotte explained.

“Anyone opposed to the buffet?” Marvin asked.

“A buffet sounds great.” Trina just wanted to get out of there.

“Alright! Buffet it is! Everyone follow Char and Delia’s car!” Whizzer announced, as they all left the building.

[doublestandardlove]

THREE MOREEE

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

21. a fandom you're not active in anymore but that you still really like

2. i genuinely don't know. i generally accept a lot of headcanons and like absorb them into my brain. WAIT YES- nora's (tgwdlm) last name being beanie. ngl i thought it was pretty weird at first, but i really don't encounter it enough to feel too opinionated about it

16. trina (falsettos) has a job !! she mentions it once and only once in tight-knit family/love is blind: so i stayed home from work, took good care of my men

like ahh!! i've been trying to think of what it could be tbh. she's a workin' girl and i want more people (including me) to appreciate it :)

21. gravity falls, for sure. the first fandom i've ever gone cuckoo for cocoa puffs in. listen, i was crazy then. 11 year old me consumed crack fics like there was no tomorrow. even... 😬 dipper goes to taco bell. 🫣 ANYWAYS- there was this one fic that i reread over and over again on quote about a third pines twin, like the lore went crazy y'all.

okay, you've earned three more asks :)

[irl-marvin]

how were you like as a child?

I was quiet. Polite, I think. Very careful and studious, and I loved being in the chess club. I was actually Club President all four years of high school. I had to play a sport to graduate, so I chose baseball. That would be why I hate baseball.

[very-tired-dad-asks]

you guys still aren’t asking what whizzer’s sweater says, huh

[ask-trina-lake]

Giggle from the Valentine's ask

giggle: what’s more important in an s.o.: intelligence or humour?

I like both but I think if I had to choose I would say humour, I’d rather have someone who will try to make me laugh and feel better about the world

[kentucky-fried-thea]

Falsettos, my beloved

yay!

before i do this, I am a Jewish homosexual

ok so a huge Cube, whizzer, marvin, mendel weisenbachfeld (that is honestly the most jewish name I have ever heard) and jason are on stage. they are all (minus the Cube) dressed as miscellaneous biblical characters, and sing a song containing the word 'bitch' 72 times and counting. the song ends with them saying they are Jewish, ending in whizzer shouting "Half Jewish!", then take off the costumes to reveal normal clothes, while Trina collects the costumes in a laundry basket and reminds them that she also exists.

the Cube is taken apart to represent each scene as needed. this is universal throughout act one, so I'm not gonna mention it anymore til act 2.

marvin is trina's husband and jason's dad. more importantly, he's a weatherman. he explains that he really wants a tight-knit family, then immediately cheats on his wife with whizzer. he and whizzer are kinda concerned that they're falling out of love, although its likely the weight of reality is just crushing down on them (or something)

oh and also trina goes to a psychiatrist bc her marriage is imploding and his name is Dr. Mendel Weisenbachfeld (could this man get any more Jewish I s2g) and then marvin goes to the same psychiatrist and mendel the simp basically just asks him about trina because he wants her or smthn idk man

then jason has an identity crisis and calls his dad a slur and everyone tries to make jason also go to the psychiatrist because everyone in this family is fucked up and basically jason shows favoritism to whizzer, forces mendel to make a house call, and mendel's tiny dick explodes

then whizzer gets fed up with Marvin's bullshit and tries to break it up and trina has a mental breakdown featuring a knife, a banana, and a safety hazard

so then mendel comes over to give jason his therapy and jason basically pulls an uno reverse and therapies mendel into proposing to trina, and mendel does so with a really shitty bible analogy featuring Biblical Times

then the guys sing a song so high into their falsettos I wouldn't be surprised if their warmup is kicking each other in the balls, and trina is like 'these geeks are so immature' oh also the guys are wearing glow in the dark socks and spinny hats

then marvin loses a game of chess to whizzer and his superiority complex is broken so they break up, and trina and mendel move in together and set a date for the wedding and marvin is so butthurt he slaps trina in the face and then everyone has a therapy circle and basically forget about it. oh also jason officially comes out as straight and marvin promises to be a good dad (he's already failed)

act 2

hey look, the Cube is back! it's arranged in a precarious array that kinda looks like a house, Nancy Reagan is in there somewhere, the guys in the band are acknowledged, and cordelia (caterer) and charlotte (doctor), spiky lesbians, are introduced, and then the Cube pieces fall. oh also its been two years. and marvin is still into whizzer.

jason's bar mitzvah is being micromanaged, then he has a baseball game and sucks very much at baseball. turns out he invited whizzer, and when he shows up, marvin hides from him like a child, then makes fun of his hairline and somehow snags a date. Basically everything is fine and dandy and peachy keen and jason officially has three dads and three moms. then jason gets cold feet about his bar mitzvah and dr mendel is back at it again with the poor bible analogies informing him that everyone hates his parents

marvin and whizzer are sleeping together, and while whizzer is asleep, marvin is like, 'weird how I really love him, huh?' and charlotte discovers AIDS. marvin and whizzer's competitive streak returns for racquetball, but then whizzer collapses (bc he has aids)

at this point, the Cube is no longer a set instrument, and now there whizzer is in an actually hospital bed, and reality is looking over everyone's shoulder and whispering expletives into their ear. everybody tries to lie to whizzer and say he looks great, but then jason goes in and just fucking wrecks him.

jason really wants whizzer to be at his bar mitzvah but he's in the hospital, so he considers canceling it. then marvin climbs into bed with whizzer and they agree that they are an apple fucking an orange. also, charlotte is very concerned about whizzer's state. You Gotta Die Sometime deserves her own paragraph so here we go

Whizzer spends 3 minutes and 3 seconds fantasizing about gay shenanigans with the likes of Death himself. He is literally flirting with Death. In the homosexual way.

anyways

jason decides to hold his bar mitzvah in whizzer's hospital room, and then directly after, whizzer dies. then marvin has a vision of whizzer from beyond the grave and they sing to each other about how much they love each other. then mendel sings a song that makes me cry, and the Cube returns. a slice of the Cube is used as whizzer's gravestone, and jason places a chess piece, specifically the queen, on his grave

thank you so much for this one, I really enjoyed writing it! if I got something wrong or I missed something, feel free to mention it!

like to create a Cube, reblog to inflict a Cube upon others

[ofpd]

for the ask game hadestown cuz it's the first musical I thought of

ok well i haven't actually listened to hadestown but this is my blog and i do what i want & ik you like falsettos also so im gonna do falsettos instead . ok falsettos has a Lot of songs so im gonna try not to put too much thought into any of these & im combining songs that are combined in the cast recording

four jews in a room bitching: i'm neurotic / he's neurotic / they're neurotic / we're neurotic

a tight-knit family/love is blind: love is very often debris / when you find / what you find / then never never never never never do it over again (see: what more can i say)

the thrill of first love: we ask for passion at all times / we stand to passion and drink this toast / still it's awful trying / and we're not denying / that of all the lesser passions / we like fighting most

marvin at the psychiatrist: does she sleep in the nude / no

my father's a homo/everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist: i think you like playing chess alone / that's not normal / what is normal / i wouldn't know

this had better come to a stop: chop chop chop chop chop i chopped it / i served his food the asshole forced me / and still the bastard divorced me

i'm breaking down: i wanna hate him but i really can't / it's like a nightmare how this all proceeds / i hope that whizzer don't fulfill his needs

please come to our house/jason's therapy: so you feel alright for about 10 minutes / feel alright for 20 minutes / feel alright for 40 minutes / drop it and smile / why don't you feel alright for the rest of your life

a marriage proposal/a tight-knit family (reprise): oftentimes lovers are crazy people / sometimes they kill each other / just like a biblical brother / did to his biblical brother / back in biblical times / biblical times? / biblical times / oh those biblical times

trina's song/march of the falsettos/trina's song (reprise): they fight too hard / and play too rough / they sometimes love / but not enough

the chess game: life's a sham and every move is wrong / we've examined every move as we move along

making a home: loving our / liking our / hating our lives / making a home

the games i play: play again the music / it's a song that i've been waiting to hear for much too long / years, years too long

marvin hits trina: mendel plans to rub my back / mendel's not a maniac / and he's sweet / and he's warm / and he loves me so

i never wanted to love you: i never wanted to love you / i only wanted to see my face in yours / jason's wild / save that child / how he adores / and hates me

father to son: a man, kid / you'll be, kid / if nothing goes wrong / sing for us all / as you march along

falsettoland/it's about time: one day i'd like to be / as mature as my son / who is 12 and a half / and this tall / that's all i'd like to be / that's all (honorable mention to: shiksa caterers / short insomniacs / hypochondriacs / yiddish-americans / feisty families / radiologists / intellectuals / nervous wrecks)

year of the child: there'll be food / like food never before (this line has always been SO hilarious to me for some reason)

miracle of judaism: would they come, though / if they were invited / and not / laugh at my hebrew / and not / laugh at my father and his friends

the baseball game: just what i wanted at a little league game / my ex husband's ex lover / isn't that what every mother dreams about / having at a little league game / looking at whizzer is like eating treyf

a day in falsettoland: in the 60's everyone had heart / in the 60's we were all a part of the same team / in the 60's we had a new world to start / could this / oh god don't say this / could this be / the new world we started

everyone hates his parents: everyone hates his parents / that's in the torah / it's what history shows / in fact, god said to moses / moses, everyone hates his parents / that's how it is / and god knew / because god hated his

what more can i say: can you tell / i have been revived / it's so swell / damn it / even i'm surprised

something bad is happening/more racquetball: my spirits sag / when i read the magazines / men dressed in drag / next to their moms / passion and fashion and filler / but not a word about the killer / i like the ballgowns but jesus christ

holding to the ground: i hold to the ground as the ground keeps shifting / keeping my balance square / trying not to care about this man whom marvin loves / but that's my life / he shared my life / yes that's my life

days like this: i think you need to play some chess / jason, sit down and begin / i'll let you win, whizzer / don't let me win / i'll let you win

canceling the bar mitzvah: why don't we tell him / that we don't have the answers / and that life can be grim / life's not all about him / and things rarely go according to plan / tell him things happen / for no damn good reason / and his lack of control kills what's best in his soul / and this is the start to his becoming a man

unlikely lovers: i can't help but feeling / i've failed / let's be scared together / let's pretend that nothing is awful / there's nothing to fear / just stay right here / i love you

another miracle of judaism: i don't know if you exist / i can't hear your fingers snapping / are you just a big psychiatrist / or can you make things not happen

something bad is happening (reprise): something that kills / something infectious (this was my attempt to not just do the entirety of this very short song lol)

you gotta die sometime: death's a funny pal with a weird sort of talent / he takes me in his arms and walks me to the bed / he pins me against the wall and kisses me like crazy / the many stupid things i thought about with dread / now delight / then the scene turns to white

jason's bar mitzvah: son of abraham, isaac, and jacob / son of marvin / son of trina / son of whizzer / son of mendel / and godchild to the lesbians from next door / sing, oh sing, oh sing

what would i do: do you regret / i'd do it again / i'd like to believe that i'd do it again and again and again (see: love is blind)

falsettoland (reprise): this is where we take a stand / welcome to falsettoland

send me an album & I'll pick my favorite lyrics from every song

[puckrph]

' FALSETTOS ' STARTERS

taken from the broadway revival!

' what we need's a miracle! ' ' i do not wish to offend. ' ' i want a tight-knit family. ' ' i swear, we're gonna come through it. ' ' i want it all. ' ' i'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet. ' ' love isn't sex. ' ' put your head in my hands. ' ' you're a lovely girl. ' ' love is blind. love can tell a million stories. ' ' love's unkind, spiteful in a million ways. ' ' love is pretty often debris. ' ' love reads like a bad biography: all the names are changed to protect the innocent. ' ' i admit i admire you. ' ' god, you're impossible. ' ' we fit like a glove. ' ' passion dies, but i'd kill for that thrill of first love. ' ' i think chess is the most beautiful thing. not love. ' ' when he's naked, does he thrill you? is he vicious? would he kill you? ' ' don't despise what you feel. ' ' i'm too smart for my own good. ' ' sweetheart, i worry. ' ' this little thing that we have will not last. ' ' i'll help you mend. ' ' love me, please. or break my heart. ' ' you've got a temper that redefines temper. ' ' oh sure, i'm sure, he's sure he did his best. ' ' i'm breaking down. ' ' you ask me "is it fun to cry over nothing?" it is! ' ' i hate admitting i've become perplexed. ' ' i want to hate him but i really can't. ' ' i want to sleep. ' ' i only want to love a man who can love me. ' ' it's a slight exaggeration, but he's sick in the head. ' ' stop asking questions. be yourself. ' ' i'd rather die in this position than remain the saint. ' ' i get apoplexy thinking of my father. i resemble him in far too many ways. ' ' so you feel alright for about ten minutes. if you feel alright for ten minutes, feel alright for twenty minutes. feel alright for forty minutes. ' ’ i crave your wrist, i praise your thigh. ' ' i'll love you until i die. ' ' i'm tired of all the happy men who rule the world. ' ' it's a goddamn surety we're lacking in maturity. ' ' visit when you please. you are not required to phone. ' ' i've a good and a bad side, but they're one and the same. ' ' it's tough, with love. love's tough to show. ' ' how i despise your need for stupid conversation! ' ' i never wanted to love you. ' ' i'm not ashamed to have loved you. ' ' what i've done to you is rotten. ' ' i loved you, i love you. ' ' religion's just a trap that ensnares the weak and dumb. ' ' you're looking sweeter than a donut. ' ' would it be possible to see you, or to kiss you, or to give you a call? ' ' sometimes i'm a lout. ' ' saving lives, i feel invincible. ' ' do you know how great my life is, saving lives and loving you? ' ' sex and games in new york city have got to be played with flair and passion. ' ' you have paintings of dicks! don't talk to me about taste. ' ' everyone hates his parents, don't be ashamed. ' ' i'll do nothing that gives them pleasure. ' ' in fact, god said to moses: "moses, everyone hates his parents, that's how it is!" and god knew, because god hated his. ' ' it's a strange thing about parents: push turns to shove, and what was hate becomes more or less love. ' ' when you sparkle, the earth begins to sway. what more can i say? ' ' how can i express how confused i am by our happiness? ' ' we'll laugh. we'll fumble. we'll take it day by day. ' ' if i'm a bitch, well, i am what i am! ' ' do you know all i want is you? ' ' anything you do is alright. ' ' life is never what you planned. life is moments you can't understand. ' ' it's days like this i almost believe in god. ' ' who'd believe that we two would end up as lovers? ' ' just go home and turn on the tv. drink a little something till you're dead, and think of me around, sleeping soundly in our bed. ' ' here's the good part: at least death means i'll never be scared about dying again. ' ' death's gonna come. when it does, screw the nerves. i'll be eating hors d'oeuvres. ' ' i hope in the end he takes me in his arms and lets me hold his face. ' ' give me the balls to orchestrate a graceful leave. ' ' i feel more helpless than i have in years. ' ' what would i do if i had not met you? who would i blame my life on? ' ' who would i be if i had not loved you? how would i know what love is? ' ' i'd like to believe that i'd do it again, and again, and again... ' ' i'd beg or steal or borrow if i could hold you for one hour more. ' ' lovers come, and lovers go. lovers live and die fortissimo. '

[limerental]

ficletvember - day 6 & 7

yenralt/geraskefer - prompt: youtuber jaskier and neighbors yenralt, also voyeur, also bad awkward sex

Several nights after measuring out a decisive course of action, circumstances aligned to set their plan in motion.

The evening had been progressing comfortably. Geralt had tried out a low fat carbonara that sure was pasta at least and even sheepishly lit a little thin candle on their kitchen island before he placed her plate before her. Afterward, she washed the dishes while Geralt dried, nearly dropping a plate when halfway through she gave into the impulse to curl her soapy fingers around his waist and kissed

Dinner sorted, they had settled in their own comfortable chairs in the warm living room, Yennefer cracking open a worn paperback mystery novel and Geralt rustling in his knitting basket. She had the thought while she settled in how bizarre it was to find herself in the sort of life that looked like this. She allowed herself a fond smile at the sight of her husband with his little reading glasses askew on his nose as he double-checked his pattern.

And that was when it began.

The livestream.

“Hey what is UP, my little darlings!” called a barely-muffled voice through the wall of the adjacent apartment. “Yours truly will be live for the next few hours--” A high-pitched squeal rising into a falsetto note. “Please please send song requests to my Twitter at dandy underscore lion and I will sing them just terribly. My aim is to sing them as HORRENDOUSLY as possible!”

Geralt and Yennefer tensed in their chairs, staring at one another as a brief silence fell on the other side of the wall. Yennefer sat upright in her chair, fingers curled white around the armrests and raised a single, perfect eyebrow. Geralt hesitated, swallowing hard, and nodded.

At once, their plan was set in motion, Geralt and Yennefer standing in sync and moving to the wall they shared with their obnoxious neighbor.

Said obnoxious neighbor had launched into a segment where he attempted to sing a greeting for every new viewer on the stream.

At the wall, they paused, listening a moment.

Yennefer knew based on reconnaissance that the idiot’s computer setup lurked directly on the opposite side of this wall in their living room. She also knew that he often wore a headset for lifestreaming but not the noise-cancelling sort. Geralt’s first suggestion had been simply to invest in a pair of those for their evenings at home, but Yennefer had stomped that idea to death at once. She would not be made to cow to an obnoxious little man who made frequent penis jokes in song form.

She had suggested a different plan, perhaps a juvenile one, perhaps simply stooping to the bastard’s level, but it was well past the planning stage now. There was nothing else for it.

Geralt looked wary, his hands open at his sides and twitching to reach for her, and Yennefer took pity on him and touched his hands to bring them to her breasts.

She waited on another brief lull in the racket next door.

“Oh Geralt,” she breathed, voice pitched louder than necessary. “Whatever has come over you?”

Poor Geralt stood looking at her a bit too long, forgetting the scrip they had practiced, squishing absently at her breasts, so Yennefer took pity on him and leaned to tweak his nipple through his shirt.

“Yen,” he gasped in genuine affront, rubbing at his sore tit. Then stopped, frowning, as he seemed to remember there was something he was meant to be saying. He coughed. “Yennefer... oh my. Your... breasts.”

Clearly, she had vastly overestimated Geralt’s ability to hold it together in non-emergent situations. This man dove into burning buildings for a living for crying out loud. But faced with a little challenge like engaging in faux loud sex to wreck the neighbor’s livestream, his resolve crumbled.

Nothing for it. Yennefer would have to engage in a change of strategy.

Pressing a hand to Geralt’s bicep, she nudged him around easily, shuffling, following her lead so willingly. It warmed her how pliant he was in her hands, how trusting. She pulled and pushed and positioned until he was right where she wanted him, arms up and braced against the wall, head dropping forward between them, legs spread slightly. Pinning her husband against the wall, Yennefer leaned her pelvis flush to the curve of his ass and pressed a little kiss between the flex of his shoulderblades.

“Geralt,” she said softly, feeling the tension of his body, waiting on her, and then, louder, intending to be overheard, “oh my, you’ve been such a naughty little boy this evening.”

Geralt shivered visibly, but it took her a moment to realize it was a shudder of laughter, his lips pursed against a show of mirth. He looked back over his shoulder at her, eyebrow raised in question. Yennefer pouted. Yes, that had been a horrible line, but the neighbor was a horrible--

“Don’t give me that look,” she spat. “I’m doing this for your own good.”

And smacked him sharply on the bottom.

Geralt groaned and flinched forward against the wall. Yennefer shook her stinging palm and winced.

“Keep count for Daddy,” she said loudly, and Geralt snorted. She promptly smacked him again, harder.

“One,” he said flatly.

“With a bit more enthusiasm,” she insisted, emphasizing each word with a rise in volume and a spank. Dear god before the idiot on the other side of the wall started singing christmas songs in a minor key again.

“Two,” grunted Geralt. “Three.”

“Louder,” she said. Her hand hurt. “I can’t hear you.”

“Four!”

The increased volume mostly served to reveal how close Geralt was to breaking down into hysterical laughter, his voice breaking.

“This isn’t very amusing,” said Yennefer coolly. “You can do better than that.”

He met her eye over his shoulder, face twitching mercilessly.

“Sorry, I’ll try harder, Daddy.”

Hurriedly, she reached to clamp her hand around his mouth to quiet his giggling.

“Shut up,” she said. “Or it’s ten more spankies. Shit.”

Spankies? her husband mouthed against her palm, quivering. She dropped her head against his back, mouth tensed in a thin line. This plan was going to work goddamn it. This was going to--

She paused, realizing suddenly what was lacking from the background of said miserable affair.

Beyond the wall, silence. Not a peep.

Could it be? Had they effectively encouraged the idiot to end his livestream early?

Yennefer shifted away from Geralt, letting him drop his hands to his sides, and together they leaned to press close to the wall. They looked at one another, ears against the drywall. Had their plan really worked so easily?

Quiet. Peaceful and blessed silence.

But then.

“Ah, they’ve gone quiet,” said the idiot neighbor. There was another sound, something wet and rhythmic and unmistakable. Yennefer watched a blush pink Geralt’s cheeks.

“Well, that’s a bummer.” Was he talking to himself while he-- “Guess I can continue the little impromptu show though, my darlings.”

A breathy moan. The sound of a bottle being uncapped. Rapid tapping on a keyboard.

“Oh fuck,” groaned the neighbor. “You lot are horny little devils, truly. No, no, I’m not going to knock on their door I value my life and limbs.”

What the fuck, Geralt mouthed, and Yennefer grimaced.

“That’s um-- no, no, don’t double dog dare me, that doesn’t count in this situation. No it does not-- please don’t send tips, that will not persuade me to-- You realize I will not be streaming over there if I-- ah, oh dear. Fine, fine! Goodnight for now, little darlings. Hang tight.”

A low curse on the other side of the wall, a scraping noise as a chair pushed back.

Geralt and Yennefer stared at one another, holding their breath. This evening had somehow gone tits up in more alarming ways than usual.

“Geralt,” Yennefer whispered, the wall cool against her cheek. “I don’t think he’s streaming on Youtube. I don’t think--”

“No,” said Geralt, brow creased. “He asked me to subscribe the other day on um... OnlyFans?”

“Ger-alt. Why didn’t you tell--”

At the front door of their apartment, a humble knock.

[elizabethvaughns]

📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc? For any non-If/then one

📃: what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?

falsettos my beloved

so basically there's this guy. marvin. he divorced his wife and left his child (and ran off...with a friend) to be with his boyfriend, whizzer. he tries to have everyone (his ex-wife, trina, his son, jason, and his bf, whizzer) come together to be a tight-knit family, but to no avail. soon, trina goes to see marvin's psychiatrist, mendel, for a therapy session. she explains that all she's ever tried to be was a perfect wife, and still her marriage ended up failing. mendel (who's immediately attracted to her) tries to reassure her, tell her that her marriage failing wasn't her fault. back to marvin and whizzer. they're basically polar opposites and their relationship seems...well, purely physical. and toxic. cut back to mendel's office. marvin is there for a therapy session. he discusses his relationship with whizzer in the first part. in the second part, mendel asks him about trina, and in the third part, marvin talks about his increasingly detached relationship with jason. cut to jason. he's worried that because his father's gay he's gonna turn out gay. marvin and trina suggest he go get therapy from mendel (for unrelated reasons). he says he'll only do so if whizzer agrees. after much (tacit) prodding from marvin and trina, whizzer agrees—jason should go see mendel. jason agrees, under the condition that mendel come to their house. marvin and whizzer fight over their relationship (read: marvin forcing him into the role of homemaker and whizzer refusing to settle down). trina has a mental breakdown. mendel comes to the house to give jason (very bad) therapy. soon, (after jason's slight nudging), mendel proposes to trina, who accepts. marvin is jealous because mendel essentially takes his place. trina laments about the male-dominated world, ....march of the falsettos......, trina collects her thoughts. marvin and whizzer play chess, marvin tries to dominate over whizzer the whole time, whizzer wins, marvin's mad, they break up. later, mendel and trina (and jason) move in together and they revel in their domestic bliss. meanwhile, whizzer reflects over his relationship with marvin as he packs. soon, marvin, upon receiving mendel and trina's wedding announcement, has an anger-induced mental breakdown and he slaps her. everyone reflects over how they never really wanted to have such deep feelings of love for the others. jason finds out he's attracted to girls. marvin sits down with jason and tells him that no matter what happens, he'll always be there for him.

act 2! (holy hell this is getting long i'll try to condense it)

two years later, marvin is still single. he's moved into a new apartment, and his neighbors (and good friends) are a lesbian couple. he sees jason over the weekends and he hasn't seen whizzer in over two years. he's less of a little bitch now. trina and marvin (and mendel and charlotte and cordelia) plan jason's upcoming bar mitzvah. at jason's baseball game, marvin runs into whizzer (who jason has invited). he asks him out and they get back together. interlude! everything is great! marvin and trina fight over what they should do for jason's bar mitzvah and jason says that he doesn't want one, much to the shock of marvin and trina. mendel tells him that "everyone hates his parents". marvin reflects over how much he loves whizzer. charlotte (a doctor) tells cordelia about a mysterious disease that's been afflicting many young gay men. meanwhile, marvin and whizzer play racquetball and whizzer collapses. trina tries to hold it all together. they're at whizzer's hospital room—he looks better. mendel and trina try to talk about the bar mitzvah with jason, who wants to postpone it until whizzer recovers, which mendel and trina say may not happen. meanwhile, marvin and whizzer reaffirm their commitment for one another and charlotte and cordelia come in and the four try to stay positive in the wake of whizzer's worsening state. jason tells god that he'll get bar mitzvah-ed if it means that whizzer'll get better. charlotte takes marvin aside to tell him that the disease affecting whizzer kills and is contagious. whizzer confronts his mortality and decides to die with dignity. the other six come in, holding jason's bar mitzvah in whizzer's hospital room. when jason finishes reading the prayers, whizzer collapses. soon, only marvin is left onstage only to be joined by whizzer's spirit. both affirm that they don't regret a single thing and marvin says that he'd do it all over again if he could. whizzer goes offstage, cut to whizzer's funeral. marvin breaks down in his family's arms.

hoo boy that was long.

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