#ask to reblog

[opudont-donut]

EMERGENCY COMMISIONS

I'm currently in a dangerous situation. Russian government proclaimed LGBTQ+ an "extremist" movement this year. In 2013 they banned "gay propaganda" to minors then in 2022 to both minors and adults but queer people were still allowed to be queer. Now we can't be queer or else we will be chased and put in jail for being who we are.

I'm scared and stressed right now. People I can't trust know that I'm pan and trans, and I can't get a job, right now I only can afford food. I need to urgently run from my country because organisations helping queer people are close to be banned so I'm opening emergency commissions and donations to get visa and leave as fast as possible.

My price list:

Every dollar is helping so if you can donate, please do. I really need help.

My ko-fi

My boosty

Contact me via tumblr's DMs, Ko-Fi or my discord: mropudont. If you don't have money, please consider sharing this post. Thank you.

More examples of my works are under the cut:

[notmefoina]

draw @kateloves-stuff (Alinori and Klox) in any style

I'm sorry if I can't make her other oc bc you have ask me on night (in my time zone) time and I have school tomorrow but here kateloves-stuff...!!!

I hope you, enjoy

[julia1x5]

These are heavy someone hold them on their mouth 😘 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[woliefairr]

faz uma lock com essa foto porfavor

☆ – se pegar curta, siga & reblogue !!

[trippy-poison]

MICHAEL JACKSON DRAWING

[n0tcoyote]

Strangely, the sorrow of the war seemed to have seeped into the sky as well. The rain poured frequently now, as if the land itself wept for the fallen.

[luesmainblog]

gotta love when a post about girlhood is really good only to end with the notion that doing the girly stuff like makeup isn't actually for fun and you can't possibly just have a normal fucking relationship with it. i'm genuinely sorry if you got into it out of social pressure, that sucks severely and i hope you know you should NEVER be obligated to partake. anyone who tried to force you or pressures you into it is a fucking asshole, probably a misogynist, and you deserve better. HOWEVER, Pleeeeeaaasseee stop assuming that ALL of us have the same toxic relationship with it that you do?? i was never forced into it, i've only ever felt pressure for interviews(which i do agree is fucked up and would like that to stop being a thing), i don't even wear it 98% of the time. for those of us where makeup is Occasional, it can be a really fun thing to do, or a helpful tool in getting yourself into the right mindset for something(just like wearing the right clothes can be). it IS possible to have a healthy, pressure-free relatinship with makeup. most of the time if i'm doing it, i'm doing it BECAUSE i'm not going anywhere and have the time to do some face art.

humans have been decorating themselves with funny colors for as long as they've been humans. please don't let the historical and modern misogyny convince you it's completely evil and never fun. the makeup industry can be toxic, makeup culture can be toxic, these things SHOULD be talked about, and i absolutely agree that little girls feeling the need to do full foundation-using 'natural look' contouring is fucked up. and it's absolutely worth questioning when someone feels like there's a Minimum amount, like "oh you just need eyeliner" no!! you don't NEED any!!! but wanting to put pretty colors on your face does NOT have to be that deep. don't let yourself sound like the radfem version of that dude who insists women only wear makeup to get attention from dudes, we both know that's bullshit.

and if you genuinely can't imagine EVER having a healthy relationship with it, then... don't have one. please, for your own sake, stop wearing it if you haven't already. just please don't project your toxic experience onto everyone else. no matter how many girls went through the same thing, your experience is not universal.

[lapinnoirr]

TIL that cis men use "cuntboy" on themselves. I think we should kill every single cis man who does this shit

[skyllion-uwu]

Every time someone argues that a comic book/comic related media character isn't "actually" queer I should be allowed to rip them apart with my bare hands

[immortal-cataclysm]

Random HC list of things I ddd likes:

Music, especially ubeat songs. He doesn't know much Abt how to play instruments but he loves signing and dancing.

Wrestling. He has a whole arena in his castle and everything. Knows a few moves himself!(tho he kinda cheats sometimes..)

Tinkering. I think he really enjoys building things, even if they don't work or are just scrap metal?? Idk. A man's gotta have hobbies!

I think he reads comedy comic strips on his free time. Not much, but he likes getting a good laugh every so often

Taking care of the dees :)

[notmefoina]

:3🍓❤

I just got back from school and thx u so much... WAIT..!!!! I had the mood to draw so.......

Ta-da..... Enjoy and woah.... my headphones expands

[icecreamsocialanxiety]

Abysmal Compulsion

(T-Rated)

An open ended Habismal fic centered about being ace, trans and neurodivergent. Specifically OCD. This is a very personal fic I've decided to share.

I mostly wrote this for myself but, if you like aroace autistic Habismal, give it a whirl. ^^

Be mindful of the TWs, these are some heavier topics than what I usually write. Enjoy.

-

There is a certain loneliness, isolation that many people feel. Some much more unique than others, especially when you are queer. Or “unconventionally” yourself.

We all either repress, unrecognize, or dolefully acknowledge our trauma.

What else can be done about it?

Especially when in a place where you have everything you want? With a person, the loved ones you cherish most, or simply the ideal life you’ve craved since the beginning?

Why does it still feel like you haven’t earned it sometimes? What is the point of the earning?

Is a heart-to-heart all it takes, sometimes? Do you deserve this? Is it so bad to do this for yourself? Why do you despise yourself like this still? Didn’t you already apologize?

…

Maybe, just maybe it’s part of what healing is.

That is a conversation meant for the ones you trust most.

For Boris, that is his best friend, his lover, his one and only Kamal.

-

"Baby, are you nervous...?"

. . .

Oh dear.

What happened? Can't he just talk about being shirtless without it feeling...terrible?

It's supposed to be normal! You know he doesn't think of you in that way...despite your clear insecurity.

You're worse than you thought.

This lighthearted pillow talk is shifting to reluctant reflection and dread quite quickly.

"Is this uncomfortable? What's going on...?"

"Kamal. I....um....you know how I struggle with looking at my body at times, right? It used to be my chest before I got surgery. How hard it was to breathe, before.

But uh…

Ugh, here I go again. Sometimes, I really hate how big my stomach's gotten. I hate being so huge at times, in a world that isn't always built for me."

...

"Ohh, no, no...baby, no. It'll be ok. It seems unrealistic now, but…you know."

...

"Since I'm so different…You, nor I, have that... ‘urge’ everyone else says they have...the talks that make me feel disgusting...It's made it easy to hate my body even more. Maybe I just…don't like having a body at all.

It's too likely, that I'm only ever seen for what's underneath by default in this version of the world. That updates slower than dial-up. UGH.

Well, it’s certainly a closeted trans experience, even without the dysphoria.

But I NEVER want to be seen for my figure.

Not ever like that. I just want to exist, without strangers judging me at the beach or something, wondering what this tattoo over my scars are for.

In this world we’ve created Kamal, for each other, we are safe, but….but..

Nobody wants to look at me, for me. Nobody thinks I'm "attractive" in general, approachable.

So I’m not even ‘palatable’ to begin with…so why would they even think of being my friend, an associate? And I--I---"

Kamal takes his hand. Habit finally caught his breath. Took a deep breath in.

"Oh...Boris. Boris..."

"People I will never understand, people who won't ever accept me as their equal, violate me with their eyes...

This world is so violating, objectifying."

...

"Boris...I-It can't be because everyone's acting like a bunch of hound dogs. Nobody should be seeing random dudes on the street for their body. That’s just pathetic. It’s sick nasty. That "construct" is so normalized, for sure.

I hate it a lot too…It's so gross, so god awful for people like us who want none of that. Who just plainly don't want to hear about it…

Just like, what makes anyone think that's okay?

And they think we should “change” for being PRUDE or whatever, or go WAY out of our comfort zone where we don’t need to be.

Body expression is fine, yeah. People deserve that right. But its not for me.

It feels like every other person stares at me, for how flat and scrawny I am when SOMEHOW I don’t pass to them…that hasn’t really happened to me for a long while. But people would see my ‘hippie’ hairstyle and with the most horrified face go "YOU’RE A MAN”?

Like, to hell with that. My voice dysphoria still makes me feel gross about myself, even when I pass.

…

Like...I'm scared.

I can get really scared when you're not with me. I really despise this country's regressing patriarchy, especially with its disgusting gun laws.

By myself, I don't look like much. If my voice was higher like it used to be, I'd probably be the target for unsuspecting pervs, or transphobes, more often…Everyone sees right through me, or something.

I understand that so much. Like some CREEP is—is…UGH! Violating me! With their eyes!

Thinking "is that person flat chested" or something transphobic like that?! They don't say it but I KNOW their eyes are darting about!

Why does my BODY matter to anyone that isn't ME or a pediatrician?

And, and…I always think I come off as ‘an easy mark’ and nothin’ else—”

!!!

"Kamal, n-no, no....don't make me worry for you like this...I-I...I'm scared..."

"AH!! No, Boris I'm sorry....I thought we were airing out gross laundry now, um! Guh, that probably was a lot to take in—God, I’m selfish sometimes…"

"No, no. Kamal….please, you know that’s okay. I'm scared for you. Look at me. I had no idea you felt this pain so strongly, too. Oh, my dear."

"....?!"

. . .

"...Listen. Please come over here. Can you hold me? Please, hold me tight? Comfort me, comfort you? Is that okay?"

"O-Oh...okay! Yes...yes. If you wanna..."

. . .

(Habit sits on the clean carpeted floor to sit with him. Kamal snugly wraps his arms around Habit's waist for comfort. Kamal feels around the soft material on his back, the cotton shirt.

Boris is soothed now, with these familiar hands.)

“That’s better…Ah...”

He sighed out.

His boyfriend looks quite appeased with the circumstances, for sure.

. . .

…

"Kamal...I can always be here to protect you. If anyone hurts you, they will never be heard from again. I can make sure of it....obviously not in a violent way. I have other means that are much worse than that."

An oddly vengeful, yet sweet man. At least he means well.

"Bah---Uh, I got that babe. You don't need to tamper your already preceding reputation more now, hah."

...

"I wasn't that serious, aha.

J-Just....please, don't think you can only be frightened on the street, vulnerable to...what was it...dogs with horns…No, horn dogs? Right? T…That's the western lingo for offending---"

"Y-Yeah."

Kamal interrupts him quick, the mere mention of that infamous misinterpreted term making them both feel gross and awful.

Many have used that term ironically to the point where its original meaning is barely taken seriously. Like excessive vulgarity is mandatory or something.

It's your life, but don't expect everyone to be open to that kind of talk.

…

"Hah….Okay. I got that.

I’m here to help you feel safe, in the same way you have for me. I’ve wanted to be here for you so long, too. You deserve a shoulder to lean on, a someone to hug.”

...

He clutches Boris’ chest close. It’s so simple, what one can want sometimes. He loves these forthright, affectionate gestures.

And…Kamal really wanted to hear that.

...

"Nngh…Kamal...when I say I'm yours....you like it, do you not? I worry if it's obsessive."

"It doesn’t come off as that for me, babe. You're good. As long as you're okay with being mine..."

…

Habit has always craved this. Being wanted or needed like this.

He wanted to be loved by everybody, but…wants to be Kamal’s, more than anything in the world.

He wants to return the gentle affection Kamal has provided him tenfold...

Is it merely a constant need for affirmation? Maybe it is more than that.

Maybe he does want everyone’s approval, adoration. Though, maybe not their undivided attention like what he has with Kamal. Kamal is very special to him.

Only Kamal can be aware of the entirety of his hardships. Only he gets it.

Only he could stand to be around him after all those misdeeds.

....

The mere idea of Kamal was the only thing he wanted to live for at one point.

The fact that he exists, treated him in such a way of equity he could never experience before; he doesn’t want to know what would’ve happened without him.

He wouldn’t be in a happy place, for sure.

Many of us, in the endless fog of depression feel like this.

And especially Boris.

Is it wrong? Do we not deserve the general scope of platonic love? The kindness of strangers?

Are we the bad guys here? Why are we flooded with terrible thoughts we would never act upon?

Why does it hurt? Why can’t I be dependent without the guilt?

Why, oh why?

He feels pathetic.

But...it's okay to depend on your partner. As long as they set any boundaries.

You should feel safe. It's a choice you made to dedicate your time to someone.

Kamal wants you. He wants to be with you, always. Always. You're his.

Sometimes, being with Kamal is still the only this that matters. Boris keeps replacing his traumatic thoughts with Kamal's words...

…

"YES...o-oh my goodness. Please—Augh, I have a problem..."

"Wha? No you don't."

"But it feels like I do. I've craved the peaceful days for so many years. Being yours…I feel like finally accomplished something. Like I actually belong. I did something right, for once. Right by you…I mean, I’m a long ways from owning a future florist shop of my own…sigh…so far away. But this, right now. This is what I have. It’s beautiful. It was my choice, and I don’t have to feel disgusting.

I've wanted you to move in so long, but still...I'm scared that I'm disappointing you. Like I’m supposed to feel bad about depending on you. That somehow, all I can give isn’t enough. Even though you said that isn’t the case. From an early age, I was conditioned to be like this. I’ve been nothing but a general burden, I thought.

Burdening you with all of my sentiment. That it's all for nothing.

I'm paranoid for no reason, but it's so weird, because you're the only one in the world I trust like this...You’re the only one who could forgive me as if I actually deserved it. It still leaves me in shock."

Kamal looks solemnly in his eyes, knowing his paranoia isn’t all for naught.

See how much these two have balanced each other? What a little positive reinforcement from an outsider has done to help a couple of miserable, disheleved lugs like Boris and Kamal?

Kamal has taken hold of his logical side, reframed his anxiety so much better these days. All because of how softies like Habit changed his way of thinking.

He’s never once thought that being a “sap” was something to be ashamed of. His mother made sure of that, even unintentionally. To never truly put someone down for meaning well at heart.

Flower Kid helped him elicit the realization. Habit brought Kamal to them. To a simple, kind soul that helped them remember what was important in the first place.

Kamal realized just how serious he was about Boris. That his will could never, ever abandon him, when it actually came down to it. After so many years of thinking Habit’s trauma couldn’t possibly put a dent in their friendship. Convinced that Habit pushed him away because he suddenly, unclearly, hated him. Kamal tried to feed in to that narrative sometimes, in some messed up way of coping, even though he understood Boris in a way no one else could.

Stuck in the soup of fog for so long, and the most important person in the world to him having a declining mental state he couldn’t possibly get him out of alone, from the built up conflict…Habit’s cry for help came almost too late. Flower Kid couldn’t have arrived at a better time.

But the pair continues to aid one another, be there for each other.

Boris’ humble, eloquent nature has that effect, eventually bringing out that side to Kamal that he always had…

In a continuously budding romance they could always nurture.

It continues to bear many, many blossoms. Where to even start, amidst the wonder?

Amidst the pain?

What should you say to him right now, in this moment?

“Well…Boris…did you consider…how much I want you to lean on me? To be relied on?”

Boris seems to be stunned by the commendation.

. . .

"I-I mean, y’know. That’s rhetorical, maybe. Where...how has this starting bothering you so bad, recently?"

As ridiculous as it sounds in every waking moment, this one especially…reframe your thoughts. Copy him…he’s the smarter one, isn’t he? This is dire. The world usually makes sense when you follow him. Dig up your voice again, where did you put it last? Okay. There. Say what you really mean.

"....It's irrational, more often than not intrusive...but...I'm afraid...that um...the moment I take my shirt off, it would mean I'm obligated to...be vulgar. I hate being vulnerable like that. You know?? Even when it's not it at all, when it never has to be that way. That I'm not enough for anyone. Maybe…I don’t really hate how I look, I hate what people could say when they look at me in general. That’s the reason I got myself a hot tub in the first place…so I wouldn’t have to be around strangers. Only ever for what I need.

…

I'm mortified, terror-struck. I convinced myself that I'm not pretty enough for you. That you only wanted me for my looks in the first place. Which I don't know how, that’s weird considering how...that's your biggest fear in relationships, too...But I lost hope anyone would find my face pretty."

"Well...you still don't want to do that, yeah?"

"I never want to. Cat-callers disgust me most of all, before and after my top surgery."

They’re often, always on the same page. But especially about this.

Serendipity seems to link them together in the first place.

…

"Yeah. Then it's your own trauma speaking...I know that one for sure. I’m so sorry…that sounds so gross to have to remember. I mean, I was bullied and sometimes catcalled like that, even in places where I thought I did belong, but not to your extreme.

I mean, if you stuck with a moper like me for this long, maybe...well. You'd have to like me for more than my face, my looks. And my lips, hehe..."

"A-Ah. You're right about that."

....

"Every now and then Kamal...tell me I deserve you. Tell me you love me...that my body, my face isn't ugly...that it’s normal…

M-Maybe...er…bring your attention to my midriff. When I tell you to?"

"Oh---oh wow. Boris...you know I'd love to. Anything you want. I want you to be comfortable, y'know. Safe and warm. Like you've belonged the whole time. That's all I've wanted to be, for you."

...

"Do...you think of my midriff...a lot?"

"U…Uhh. I mean, it's there, Boris. What do you mean? What do ya expect me to say...??” >_>

Ah, maybe that’s a little off topic.

"Nothing, it's okay. Just...do like being really close to my chest? You're comfortable? It doesn't make you feel weird?"

It hit him...Kamal understands better now. It's tactile.

"Ohhh...you mean when we cuddle up...yeah. I, um...really like how soft you are. Ummm…hehee.

It's just, my whole thing with toplessness stems from hating what people look like half nude.

…

It just scares me sometimes. Being in a lockeroom where there’s women and feeling like sorest thumb on the planet. An alien. Haven’t been in a locker room at all since my early 20s.

Not only that, I’m just—UGH. Even Cable TV is getting more…explicit these days. You get it. Grosses me right out.

I feel outnumbered, othered, you know? It’s…(shiver)....weird. I’ve wondered about it now and then. Nobody seems to accommodate us. Crudeness is so normal that no one thinks anyone hates it. Self-Expression, body confidence is important, for queer peeps of course. Especially. But it doesn’t always have to put in that light."

Habit has a little smile as he nods. Boris very much likes being that place of comfort for him.

"Ah, I see..."

"Before we started going out…Did you...think I disliked how you looked because you're fat?"

....

A shameful, sad expression appears on his reddened face as he nods at Kamal. In a "Come on, he already is your boyfriend! Why would you be afraid of that?" kind of way.

“In general, I just thought I was too ugly and monstrous in size to ever stand a chance. L-Like, as any man’s man. But…that certainly was a part of it.”

"Bory....hey...is it like how I internalized feeling ashamed about my flat chest my whole life?"

...

"Yes, actually. We...we've been bodyshamed for things we can't control...prejudiced unnecessarily...."

…

“(Sigh)....Yeah. That sounds about right. It’s crappy. Society adapts slower than dial-up. Bums me out all the time, how the world is like that. It’s like you said. ‘No one should feel bad for literally being born.’ That stuck with me.”

…

“I-I…said that?”

“Awha, yeah. You sure did, baby.”

“Maybe I was smarter back then.”

“Nooo, no! You’ve always been the cunning sort. I mean, take my pa for example! My dad’s an air head sometimes….sorry uh–I mean. That came out wrong. He’s not that dense. But I mean uh—AHEM.

Everyone can say smart things when they really believe in it, is what I’m saying.”

…

“Then…I really am a different person when I’m in a good mood, huh…”

“Oh…well um. Maybe? I think you just forgot. Then again, so much has happened for you at home that I couldn’t…help with.”

“...Mmhm. I just…I wonder how you even would like someone like me. How you ever thought I was approachable was beyond me.”

…

Kamal feels like he should lighten the mood. Maybe flirt a little. He deserves some more attention right now.

…

"Well um...I do like big, burly guys. Aesthetically, for sure. I dunno, maybe my type is someone who can carry me like I don't weigh anything. They sure can cuddle good." 💙

“E-Ehm…?”

Kamal winked when he said that last part, a charming little grin flashing at him. Kamal closes up the space between them, and Boris seems woozy and exhilarated…

"It's that sweet ol’ face I love, though. Your big ol' glimmery eyes. That gorgeous mane of curly red hair. You embrace effeminate things in I way I never want to. I think it's....phenomenal, how different you are. You're unique, drop dead gorgeous, and you're a big softhearted dude. The whole package."

....!

Oh, he is undeniably infatuated by that man.

(One of the many things Kamal is good at is pacifying him with that mellow tone. Over and over.)

"EEEEP....!! OK-EIGH!!!....I GET IT, I’M CUTE!!!" >X–0

"Awww, baby...! Ahaha..."

…

(sniff)...

No…Kamal realizes he’s still down in the dumps. Touched by the sweetness and adulation from Kamal…though, it pangs in his heart still. Bitter memories one cannot recover from in just one hour. Not for months from now. Who knows.

"Sorry. I know you can cheer me up with that usually. And I love it. I love you for that.

It's just...it hurts so much, my childhood. The more time I spent with you...the more terrible the memories of my father's abuse seemed to get…my weight being a sick joke to him…”

Anguish gushes out from his throat.

“How many times a week he called me ugly and made fun of me simply for being fat. How no one could take a face like my seriously, HA.

Nothing but a selfish ugly flowery “brat”. And let's not forget how he rubbed it in, how he misgendered me...HILARIOUS. How he thought a man, a clone of himself, someone supposed to be his child; could fall prey to his misogyny like that. All that got him was rotting more behind bars, that screwed-up roughneck."

. . .

"Ohh, Boris...c'mere, c-can I...lay here?"

Kamal presses his hands to Habit's abdomen.

…!!

"Yes, yes...oh my...please. I want you to be clingy with me, okay? Give me everything you've got. I don't want to be let go yet..."

...

Smooth like silk, Kamal nods, steadily and slow. Laying over the larger man now, rising up and down with his diaphragm. Boris covers his widespread grin in a coy manner. He loves when Kamal blankets him like this. What a wonderful thing.

"Ohhhh. Th-Thank you. I...I think I need this right now. Very much.”

...

“Boris...When I said I was afraid of commitment...I think I just meant....I was afraid of the expectation of "doing something", with someone. I could be seen as only an easy mark, desperate to be loved.

I....I never have to worry with you. I might be totally safe here, now. Nothing hurts me in this moment in time.

You want the same things I do in a relationship. Never going too far for ourselves. You're just like me in that way. I cherish that ideal.

And....I think you like my body in a way I can understand. That I love. You love me for me."

…

Boris is on cloud nine.

"I-I, Heheh----think you might be right about it. That is how I feel.

...

You're safe here, darling…you don't have to do any grand gestures unless you truly, truly want to.

Simple things like this…it's all I could ever want.

I am satisfied with everything you give to me."

His words ring so profoundly to Kamal.

…

"O-Oh my god. Thank you for your love, Boris.

I…I'm really head over heels for you."

"A-Ahaaa? You….you're very welcome. Y-Yes. The feeling is…quite mutual. Words will never encompass what you truly are to me."

"Good…that means it's never-ending. Infinite. Our love is like space."

(Kamal, you really can be whimsical, you know.)

"Just like Bowie?"

"Ehee…like Bowie."

. . .

"I love you, Kamal."

"Love you too. Times infinity."

"Beautiful, darling."

....

"Bory...?"

"Yes, lovey?"

"...I like your belly. A lot. Um...I think it's very soft, to hold. It’s…pretty. Really, really, pretty. Exactly like the rest of you. I-Is that...odd to say?"

. . .

"Noooo...."

"Y-You’re okay with that? Then...hehe...that's good to hear. If I had to choose, in spite of the contrary belief…I suppose I like your belly the most. You know what I mean when I say it.

H-Heheh…"

(Boris doesn’t even feel like sobbing anymore. He’s so used to his love by now.

Beautiful. Wonderful.)

“I-I…love that. Thank you.”

. . .

Don't ever stop your doting, Kamal. When you rest here, beside me, close to me....

I feel like the tidal waves ensured by the moon. I am safe here, without fear.

I’ve always been.

I know you feel it too.

[woliefairr]

Amor poderia personalizar meu celular com a Becky armstrong? Por favor.

tela de bloqueio tela inicial

você pode colocar o widget do relógio no tamanho retangular, a do google no tamanho pequeno e o dayday (caso tenha) na cor branca (o coraçãozinho).

☆ – se pegar curta, siga & reblogue !!

[arcadesoup]

moving blogs @cabinetshopper

[mosscoveredcowboy]

Me: *wants to take t, has (what could be considered) genital dysphoria at times, likes neutral pronouns, finds masc pronouns even more exciting, prefers to to be seen as feminine, when I’m alone or comfortable with others i feel masculine, wishes i had a deeper voice, wishes I blended in more with my masc friends, feels like im Performing Woman when at work*

also me: I couldn’t be trans tho, saying that is taking space from others, idk if i want to commit to That being what this is

[moveddemetrius]

***kneels next to my bed and claps my hands together*** I hope whoever makes long fanficiton Tumblr posts without adding a 'readmore' dies and goes to Hell no matter what