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lil13 · 1 year

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FEELINGS - j. champion

You and Jack met during the chemistry reads for Scream VI. It was obvious that, from the beginning, you two were close. Your personalities went well together and everyone saw your obvious chemistry. The chemistry really helped, seeing as your characters were love interests. As time went on, you began to see Jack differently and he the same. And maybe, unlike your characters, the two of you would have a happy ending.

•

Filming for Scream VI was slowly coming to an end. You heard someone say that you only had about 2 weeks of filming left before everything wrapped.

It was bittersweet.

Occasionally, you'd find yourself reminiscing about all of the friendships and memories you've made this summer. Something about your castmates just made the whole filming process all the more better. Especially since this was your first real project.

The directors were taking a chance with you, hiring a newcomer was a risky move. But needless to say, they believed they made the right choice. You were a phenomenal actor.

"Earth go, Y/N." Jasmine was waving her hand in front of your face, bringing your attention back to the 4 sitting around you.

You, Melissa, Jenna, Devyn, Liana, and Jenna all sat in a circle in the grass. A break had been announced while they worked out some kinks in a scene and they let you all just chill together.

"Hmm?"

Devyn reached over and squeezed your hand, smiling sweetly at you. "We're rating our castmates 'cause we're bored."

She was the sweetest, just like her character.

"And it's time to rate Mason, and I don't plan on rating him because he's like my brother and that's weird." Jasmine laughed, earning laughs from the group.

You shrugged, "7.5?"

Most nodded, except for Jenna who scoffed and called out the number 4. Her response only elicited a fit of laughter from the group. Jenna loved picking on Mason, it was one of her favorite pastimes.

"Oooh, i've got one." Melissa clapped her hands in excitement. "Y/N, rate Jack."

You swallowed harshly. Suddenly very thankful that the boys weren't around instead of being mopey like you had been before. You actually had been wishing that Jack... and Mason were there. But now that they'd asked that? Their absence was actually a blessing.

"3."

Jack was your best friend.

"Bullshit!" Liana yelled.

She was right, you'd lied straight through your teeth. You'd met Jack while doing chemistry reads months ago. Your characters played love interests so you'd gotten to meet the boy before the rest of the cast so the directors could ensure the two of you had believable chemistry.

"Um." you mumbled, you'd actually fallen for him as time passed.

When you got to set in June you thought the constant butterflies in your stomach were from being excited and nervous to film. It wasn't until a week or two later and you were grabbing lunch alone with Jack that you realized that the butterflies only showed up when you were in his presence.

Jenna playfully pushed you by the arm, "C'mon, tell us the real answer."

You hated how they knew about your real feelings. You had never admitted them, though. So, their knowledge was pure speculation at this point.

"10." you'd said it almost too quiet for them to hear.

But when they erupted in screams and Devyn tackled you in a hug, you knew they'd heard you.

"No one can tell him! He definitely only sees me as a friend and i'm not ruining the friendship." you instructed from your spot below Devyn.

They all agreed to not tell, but also told you that you were wrong. Apparently they knew that your feelings weren't 1 sided.

"Who likes who?"

You all froze.

It was the familiar voice of Jack that made your stomach drop. Devyn crawled off of you, helping you sit up. You couldn't bare to look at Jack. You were sure your cheeks were bright red and he'd know immediately.

"Chad likes Tara." Jenna blurted, attempting to get Jack off the topic.

The grass looked very interesting all of a sudden.

"Well, I knew that. That's boring." he scoffed.

You mentally cursed when he sat down next to you on the grass, his knee bumping with yours. It took everything in you to not look at him still. Jack was your best friend after all, his brown eyes always brightened your day.

"Jackson, wanna play our game?" Jasmine broke the silence.

Your eyes snapped to Jasmine's, she wouldn't.

You looked around the circle, realizing that all of the girls had smirks on their lips. They knew what Jasmine was up to.

"Sure?" he laughed nervously.

Jasmine rubbed her hands together, never looking back at you. "We're rating our castmates, so, rate Y/N."

"Easy, 10."

What?

You looked right at him as all of the girls went crazy. Did he say what you thought he did?

He wouldn't look at you though, his cheeks burning crimson. You couldn't tell the reason behind the blushing, though, sometimes Jack would blush when he had too much attention on him.

But it still made you sick that he wouldn't look at you.

"I don't feel good." you mumbled, jumping up and running off.

Jack was oblivious though.

While you were basically dry heaving in your trailer, he had texted and wished for you to feel better and to ask if you were still on for your movie night. You sighed, actually thankful that he didn't get the hint as to why Jasmine had asked or why you ran off and simply texted a "thank you, and yes."

The Jasmine texted, checking on you and apologizing for asking Jack. Even adding the disclaimer about how at least he thought you were a 10. You forgave her and told here there were no hard feelings. It was just a simple game.

A few hours later and you had all returned to your apartments for the night.

You were freshly showered with your hair in two braids down your back, body clad in pajamas. Your pajamas consisted of a pair of boy's boxers and a tshirt Jack had given you of his. The two of you were at his apartment one night and you saw an avatar shirt he had on the arm of his couch and you had geeked out over it. In that moment, Jack knew he had to give it to you.

The shirt had brought you more joy than it probably ever would him, and he'd definitely smile every time he saw you in it.

"Knock, knock!" Jack called out as he walked in using the key you'd given him in case you lost yours — well that and you didn't want to have to let him in every time he came over.

He held up a bag of takeout, "I still got the tacos in case you were hungry. Feeling better?"

You nodded, walking over and taking the bag from his hand, leading him to the kitchen.

"I don't know what happened." you lied, taking the containers out of the bag. "But i'm much better now."

The two of your stood in the kitchen eating your tacos. For some reason, every time Jack came over he'd bring tacos from this place you two had found at the beginning of filming. You'd stand around in the kitchen and chow done, catching up on any time spent apart before eventually finishing and going to watch your movie of choice.

"Do you mind if we watch in my room? I'm exhausted." you sold your story by yawning.

You were telling the truth, you were absolutely wiped today. Jack shrugged, lunging toward you and picked you up. You let out a scream of surprise as he carried you, walking you back to your bedroom.

He carefully sat you down on the covers and let you crawl into your spot while he took his shoes off. Without hesitation, he crawled in next to you, propping himself against the headrest.

Your heart started beating closer at your proximity. You tried to ignore it be cueing up the movie, Scream (2022) tonight. The two of you had been on a Scream kick lately.

"This one's gonna be weird to watch since we know these weirdos in real life." Jack chuckled, getting more comfortable, which only brought him closer to you.

Was that on purpose?

You couldn't tell.

As the movie went on, you suddenly became super aware of how close the two of you were sitting. Your head was only inches from Jack's shoulder, so you gave in, letting your head fall onto him.

You'd done this countless times before, but this time felt different. You could've sworn you heard Jack breathe in sharply.

A couple minutes passed before you felt something touching your hand under the covers. You focused for a second before realizing that Jack was tapping the back of your hand with his fingers. Without thinking, you flipped your hand so your palm was up, Jack quickly intertwining his fingers with yours now.

You'd never been more thankful that it was dark, because he wouldn't be able to see how red your cheeks were now.

You got more comfortable, enjoying both the movie and Jack rubbing the back of your hand with the pad of his thumb. Once again, he'd held your hand before, but this time felt different.

Your mind was going crazy and so were all the butterflies in your stomach. Oh what this boy did to you.

You'd met him about a month after you had turned 17, about a week before Christmas. His birthday about a month prior to that. The two of you had bonded over being "late 2004 babies" and the rest of your friendship was history.

But what if it changes tonight?

Jack squeezed your hand.

You lifted your head, looking to him, your hands staying connected. Jack had a different look on his face, once that you'd only ever seen when he was playing Ethan and he was looking at you. This was a look you'd seen Jack portray when looking at his girlfriend.

But this time the look felt entirely genuine.

"J?" you questioned quietly when you noticed his eyes flickering to different places around your face, one of them being your lips.

It was like you were nervous.

Almost questioning if this was real.

Jack didn't say anything, instead he ducked his head and connected his lips with yours. You gasped slightly, not expecting his abruptness.

But you didn't hesitate to kiss back.

Sure, you'd kissed before while acting, but this right here? This was real. This was Jack and Y/N. Not Ethan and Y/C/N.

Your free hand held the back of his neck, fingers fiddling with the curls at the nape of his neck. Jack smiled into the kiss and you swore you almost lost all composure.

How could he be so cute?

His hand broke free of yours and you faltered for a second. Only regaining your composure when you felt his hands grips your hips to pull you on top of him. You forgot how strong he was.

Jack's hands stayed on your hips while your hand not on the back of his neck decided to rest on his chest. You hadn't realize how toned he was and you could definitely feel the muscle under his tshirt.

He pulled away, letting you sit up slightly as you both goofily smiled at each other. "I'm assuming this is okay since you so willing let me pull you onto my lap?" Jack raised an eyebrow, the slightest smirk playing on his lips.

You couldn't help but peck his lips, heart fluttering when you saw his smirk falter into a pout when you pulled away so quickly.

"I mean, we both rated each other 10s earlier and i'm pretty sure i've liked you for a couple months now."

He seemed proud of himself, the cutest smile now on his lips. "Good, good. Glad I didn't read the signs wrong and ruin the friendship."

"That'd be awful."

You hand slid around from the back of his neck and up to his cheek, your thumb rubbing over his cheekbone. You couldn't help but admire him.

You've done that time and time again. But never this close or with these feelings.

He was looking at you the same way. His hands had found their way underneath your shirt, sitting on your bare waist and thumbs caressing the soft skin underneath them.

"Kiss me again, your lips are addicting." he mumbled, his voice quiet from being mesmerized by the situation he'd found himself in.

You happily obliged.

You quickly leaned in and connected your lips, both of you moving together in sync. It was like your lips were created to be together.

Jack's hands stayed put, never once wandering. And same for you. The two of you were content with doing exactly what you were doing. Maybe the rest will come a different day.

"Stay over tonight?" you mumbled against his lips.

You felt him nod, "I'd like that."

You were ecstatic. The thought of falling asleep in Jack's arms had you beyond excited. He always made you feel safe, so you had a feeling you'd sleep like a baby tonight.

"Good, good." You let a finger lightly trace his jawline, down his neck, down his chest, and then stopping when you left your hand to rest in his lap.

Jack caught you hand, breaking the kiss and looking you dead in the eye, his eyes wider than usual. "I'm going to need you to not do that again, because i'm really trying to be respectful and only kiss you tonight and that's not helping."

Your cheeks burned red, "Oh." You patted his chest, "Then let's stop this for now and finish the movie."

You crawled off of him, Jack saying something about how that was a good idea before kissing you quickly once more. You tucked your body into his once more, except now your head was rested on his chest and his arm fell lazily around your body.

You could get used to this.

#jack champion #scream #ghostface #jack champion x y/n #jack champion x reader #love #romance #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry

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redclercs · 11 months

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DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

ix. i'm so sick of running as fast as i can

— the one where they painted you out to be bad (so it's okay that you're mad).

warnings: fair warning you're going to be pissed, foul language, this one has more media between text and it's a little long. 2.3k words (+articles and a very long youtube thing!!)

currently playing: it's time to go by taylor swift!

masterlist ✢ next

By Alana Blake

YOU read it here first, friends. #YNCHARLES is still going strong even after the mess y/n found herself in during the Spanish Grand Prix weekend.

Rumor had it that after y/n's declarations where she said 'it was not serious' and 'she was just having fun', the Monegasque heartthrob dumped her immediately. This was fueled by the fact that we didn't see any pictures of them together during such weekend.

But sources have come to the rescue, letting us all know they're not broken up! "They talk every day for hours," our source said, "Both are still trying to keep it fun but more lowkey after everyone found out about the cheating."

RELATED: Victoria Presley's top five beauty hacks.

You would think that after a partner refers to you as a 'toy', dumping them is the best course of action, but apparently that doesn't apply to Mr. Leclerc who has "nothing but good things to say about y/n".

"He's excited to see her in New York before the Canada Grand Prix, they have it all planned out since she has her apartment back." The source added.

One thing is for sure, if we see y/n at the next Grand Prix, that's the big confirmation that they are together, since they blew their Elix cover by forcing them to end the contract.

SEE ALSO:

→ Victoria Presley's inauguration after party at the Grand Havana Room, you just had to be there.

→ Taylor Swift defends y/n y/ln: ''All of you have learned nothing!"

→ Aidan Kim on Charles Leclerc: "Never heard of him until my girlfriend cheated on me"

𝙂𝙊𝙏 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝘼𝙔? 𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝘼 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙒!

You're seeing the top comments.

Anonymous – 4 hr ago

They're both so shameless! and charles was liking tweets saying they were friends like he could really trick us.

kollhha – 3 hr ago

I hate her, Charles dump her ass for the love of god.

adriennewells – 40 min ago

no but seriously what is it about y/n that has men brainwashed?

Anonymous – 10 min ago

They WOULD be cute together, i don't think they're dating though.

June 10th, Los Angeles, California

You fit your life for the past months into two suitcases, and a carry on. Your room at Vic's house is messy and it feels strangely empty without your discarded shoes and dirty laundry on the floor. But it's time to go, you cannot impose your presence in this enormous house anymore. You have felt like an intruder since you started traveling to Formula 1 and coming back every week like this is your hotel and not your best friend's home.

"Are you really going back to New York?" Vic asks from behind you, voice low with sadness.

"Yes, Vic, I have to." you sigh, turning to meet her. She's dressed up in her fucsia workout gear, holding a light ring in her left hand and her phone in the right. Your flight leaves in the evening and you were hoping to have a meal with Vic before parting to the airport, but it looks like she's all booked.

"No you don't," she argues, entering the room. "Hollywood is here, y/n why do you need to go back to New York? You're an actress!"

You feel like a lot of things, except for an actress right now.

"I don't think Hollywood wants me right now, Vic," you say, going back to the unmade bed to lie down. You asked the cleaning lady if she could leave your room for last so you could finish picking your stuff up, and she agreed gently. "Plus, I really miss New York."

"y/n you haven't even visited my store, you can't go!" Vic's tone changes in octave, and it's not her whiny 'please don't do this' tone you're so used to. "I asked you for ONE favor and you're running to New York and you can't do even just that?"

"Woah, Vic, what the fuck?" you use your elbows as support to lean up and look at her. "Calm down. It's okay." you know her tantrum comes from the fact that she truly believes you could boost her beauty line sales and make her store a 'hot spot'. And it would work, for the wrong reasons. You don't want Vic being dragged down into this mess too. Mati and Charles are enough casualties.

"NO IT'S NOT!" Victoria is full-on yelling now, the light ring has been tossed aside. "I have given everything you've asked from me in the past months since your life started falling apart. I think I deserve something in return."

You ignore the bite of her words. She's angry, which is understandable to some level. She doesn't mean it, right? That she always expected something in return.

"Vic, listen, I know how important your store is to you. But I promise you, you don't want the attention I'm bringing to anyone close to me right now."

"Oh, so you're doing this for my own good now?" she scoffs, ponytail flying in the air as she turns around. "Are you fucking Charles Leclerc for his own good too? Or do men's reputations don't matter?" she spits.

You halt completely, halfway out of the mattress. "What did you say?"

"Oh, please y/n. You really want me to believe you don't want to be seen with me to 'protect me'" she throws the quotations in the air, "And yet you went on your pretty vacation with that bitch Matilde, and you talk to fucking Charles Leclerc every day!"

"Victoria, stop," your brain is a mix of anger, sadness and confusion. You’re having trouble catching up to the where the conversation is going. "That was different, Vic. In case you haven't noticed, things can't stop getting worse. My life is not good right now." You choke on the last words, because it's the first time you say such things out loud. You have never been more miserable.

Victoria scoffs yet again, and it’s a tear in your heart. She's really not backing off. "Of course your life isn't good y/n wah, wah. You have money and beauty and a pilot boyfriend, it sucks so much to be you!"

"Why are you so bothered about it? Why is Charles the main problem here?" you wipe the tears from your cheeks, scratching the skin with one of your rings. "Why the fuck are you acting like this?"

Everything was alright this morning at breakfast, when you reminded her you were leaving and your luggage was almost done. When you thanked her for taking you in and told her you could never really repay her support.

"Because you get everything you want all the time!" Victoria stomps to you, her face inches away when she stops. "You always get what you want no matter what. It didn't even matter that I said you view him as a fucking piece of meat! He still went after you."

The world moves in slow-motion as her words cascade on you. Your lungs close and your throat tightens again, and you want to fight the panic attack because you just know Victoria is not going to help you. How could she? If she's the one who betrayed you.

"How–Why–" you stutter, the hem of your shirt on your fist. You can fight this. "How could you do this to me?"

Victoria finally comes to the realization of what she let out, and covers her mouth. "y/n no– look–"

"Who told you about the ring?" your jaw is locked and you're trying not to lose focus. "How could you tell them about the ring?!"

"How could you not tell ME?! I'm your fucking best friend, you bitch!" she's raising her voice again, her surprise pushed aside because you're still fighting. "I had to find out through Aidan, months later."

The Cannes party. Of course.

You thought about asking her about it. Telling her it hurt you that she hung out so happily with Aidan when he was the reason you arrived at her house one night in February, frightened, sad, and confused. But you didn't because you trusted her. You would have trusted Victoria with your life at some point.

"It really is you, then," tears are streaming down your face again.

You feel stupid because only yesterday, in another rage-scroll through Twitter, you noticed people were already making theories about how it was Victoria who was selling information about you. And you felt so offended, how could they think your best friend would do that to you?

"How could you, Victoria? How could you make all that shit up?"

You talked to Victoria about the articles. You cried and told her you were sorry you didn’t let her in on the failed proposal, it was something you were still processing and couldn’t bring yourself to talk about, still wondering if it had been a mistake every now and then. You told her how sorry you felt to Charles because he just wanted to hang out with you—to be friends with you—and people marked him down as a home wrecker when he had nothing to do with it.

“It was definitely Mia though, wasn’t it?” She said as she rubbed your back and passed the box of tissues to you. “She always hated you, so weird. It was like she loved Aidan in a fucked up way.” Victoria even shuddered exaggeratedly, trying to make you laugh.

“Yeah I’m sure it was Mia, Aidan just won’t admit it.” You let her wipe your tears and smooth your hair down. Nobody could convince you that your ex-sister-in-law didn’t run to People and spewed shit. It was the most logical conclusion that Aidan was protecting his little sister.

This had been three days ago, she lied and made fun of you, to your face.

"So now I'm a liar? You are fucking Charles Leclerc! Or what, you expect me to believe all you do is hold hands and peck each other's cheeks?"

Again with Charles, it infuriates you.

"You told the press I'm a cheater! And I am NOT with Charles, God you're so stupid!"

"How would I know whether it's true or not? You never tell me anything anymore, do you? You don't care about me! I'm your best friend. I deserve to be your priority!"

"You deserve to rot in hell, you lying bitch." you don't even raise your voice anymore, "How could I ever love you?"

Victoria laughs, and your heart finally shatters. "I would do it again, y/n, because it's what you forced me to do."

The apartment is a mess, and you know it's on purpose. Your clothes are everywhere, the dirt from the plants you kept on the balcony is all over the floor, the coffee table is broken and your room looks like a hurricane passed through. Your coffee maker and your Specialty coffee both lie on the floor of the kitchen, and there is a horrible smell coming from the fridge. Aidan hasn't been gone long enough for things to rot to that extent, especially because every appliance is plugged in.

You don't want to look at the rest of the house, or your belongings. All you do is lean down to pick up your Moka pot, and make time to think, but you're unable to stand straight again. It's like the pain is pulling you down. How did your life become this?

A ruined apartment, a rejected engagement and a backstabbing best friend are things that happen in the movies. You would know. This wasn't supposed to happen to you.

Crying in that ruined kitchen, holding a Moka pot like it's your greatest treasure and not some piece of trash that you will never be able to use anymore, you get angry, furious. Because this is not your life and it was never supposed to be. And it's about time you start doing something about it.

You are sick of running. Of having people question you for not 'defending' yourself when you have no reason to be attacked in the first place. Relationships die, and yours had been past its time to be buried. Saying no is not a crime. And it never will be.

Victoria had burned her own thread with you in the worst way possible because you didn't make her the only person in your life. And you had overlooked every time you felt used by her, unloved, and tossed aside. Friends can break your heart too, and Victoria had ripped yours out of your chest.

Nobody has to tell you who you are, because you know. And you are nothing of what you've let tabloids, netizens and reporters say. You cannot keep running and you cannot keep hiding, and though you wish you had understood that earlier. It's never too late to pick yourself up.

Mildred and Walter are going to be pissed, but their advice was that you remained lowkey for however long it took Hollywood to get their next big scandal. Weeks, months, years.

And you're not about to scurry away into darkness like a rat.

FROM “JUST WATCH THIS” POSTED IN Y/N Y/LN'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL POSTED JUNE 12TH

[y/n,minute 01:30]: ❝...So I've finally decided to come here and tell you everything that has been happening for the past months. It's the truth, but whether you believe it is a personal choice.❞

[y/n,minute 05:56]: ❝It was a three-year dead-end relationship. You cannot, and should not, have a future with someone who laughs at your dreams, and tells you how you should behave and how to look to exalt him.❞

[y/n, minute 07:15]: ❝I said no. And I have not regret it for one second. I didn't tell anyone because I respect Aidan, although I don't think that is reciprocal by now.❞

[y/n, minute 10:01]: ❝I never cheated on him, and I know the source of those rumors. It breaks my heart to know that someone I trusted made up stuff about myself, and a part of my life that was so important to me. I am not telling you who it was, however, I will take legal action against them if the defamation continues.❞

[y/n, minute 14:54]: ❝Aidan decided to tell this person about our failed engagement, and I do not know if his intention was that this all became public. But I wish he'd been mature enough to handle it privately, like the adults we both are.❞

[y/n, minute 16:59]: ❝I started attending Formula 1 races because of an Ambassador contract I held with Elix until three days ago, when they decided to rescind it.❞

[y/n, minute 18:07]: ❝That's where I met both Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz, back in April. Since they are the drivers for Ferrari, we spent a lot of time in the same place, which led to us becoming friends.❞

[y/n, minute 19:04]: ❝Charles Leclerc is my friend and we are not romantically involved, I urge you to stop making stuff up about him too. He never messed with my past relationship, we did not know each other.❞

[y/n, minute 21:55]: ❝When all of this started, I believed—naively— that it could just die down on its own. I am an actress. I was not only 'Aidan Kim's girlfiend' and I am not only his ex-girlfriend now. I am y/n y/ln.❞

[y/n, minute 23:31]: ❝I should have spoken sooner. I should have shut everything down the moment I started feel miserable and out of control. But I also know, I was being crucified so badly because I am a woman.❞

[y/n, minute 26:00]: ❝You have made me feel miserable and anxious, I have suffered from panic attacks and sleepless nights. And I'm not saying this to make you all feel bad and regretful, because the one thing you lack the most is empathy.❞

[y/n, minute 28:45]: ❝But I want you all to think that, if it had been the other way around and Aidan hadn't wanted to marry me, you would have said 'he wasn't ready' and you would have let him move on and find "The One" in peace.❞

[y/n, minute 31:35]: ❝If it was Timothee Chalamet—whom I also have a deep appreciation for—doing RomComs and nothing more, you would call it 'his specialty' and never question his talent.❞

[y/n, minute 33:17]: ❝If I was a man, this wouldn't have killed my reputation.❞

[y/n, minute 36:21]: ❝I will not remain quiet anymore while you step on me and diminish my work. I do not owe anything to Aidan Kim except for the drama the past months have brought me.❞

[y/n, minute 38:11]: ❝I'm going to focus on the future. And I am well aware this will be continue to be a topic of conversation, but I am not scared anymore. Because I know who I am and who I can count on.❞

[y/n, minute 40:12]: ❝If it weren't for my fans, who have been fighting my battles so hard, I wouldn't be here either. They're here for me, and I can never repay such pure love.❞

[y/n, minute 42:22]: ❝If you watched up to here, I'm sure you're wondering whether you should believe all of this, and like I said, it's all up to you❞

[y/n, minute 44:50]: ❝I will not be speaking about Aidan Kim again, so I ask you to refrain from asking about him. It's all been said and done, and I'm eager to move on.❞

[END]

You are looking at the all the comments.

aidanbabes WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH EVEN ON

flowerbedkim Oh so now Aidan forced her to be with him? Bullshit. You are never saving your lying ass y/n, fuck you!!!!!

thatbitch123 You are absolutely right y/n if you were a man this wouldn’t have happened it's so sad

ynbabes2 my queen i waited for you to speak for so long!!! WE HAVE TO MOVE ON FROM THIS

leclercstar you all have made this girl's life absolute hell, i hope you never find peace!! I'm glad she's friends with Charles and Carlos.

presleyvibes wait and you thank people but not Vic who let you stay at her house? you're an ungrateful bitch

albstappen I saw her pic with Lily Muni and I just knew she was one of the good ones

ynmybeloved EVERY TONGUE THAT RISES AGAINST YN SHALL FALL

kim41d4an IT'S YOUR WORD AGAINST AIDAN'S YOU CHEATING WHORE

June 12th, SoHo, New York.

You are trying to clean the mess around you as best you can. And although you could call someone to help you, sweeping and scrubbing keeps you busy and distracted. The first message you received after posting the video was from Mati a 'proud of you xx, tell me all about it later please!' text that made you take your first deep breath of the afternoon. You made an appointment with a doctor first thing in the morning, you want the panic to go away, you need it to.

Thoughts of how they're destroying you again, calling you a liar and a whore, swarm your brain and you try to toss them in the trash along with your ruined Dolce & Gabbana coat, mysteriously cut up with scissors. You told the truth, and not even the whole of it.

The video is being shown everywhere, you're sure you'll see it tomorrow in Good Morning America where they'll dissect every single move you make and every word that comes out of your mouth.

It's almost 9 pm when you finally stop wiping the apartment down, trying to get rid of every sign that Aidan Kim was ever inside it. It's not true that he paid for the apartment, you picked it yourself and made it a home and then he chose to come and live here, paying the rent once every three to five months. This is your home and you are reclaiming it.

Your phone rings and you take another deep breath before picking it up. Mildred and Walter have resorted to communicate with you through email, so you wonder who it is. Victoria called a few times during the weekend, left voicemails and text messages until you blocked her. Each of them with a new excuse and a more creative way to pin all of what she had done, on you.

It's a FaceTime call from Charles.

"Charlie!" you greet with a smile, before the image of him loads completely. "It's 3 am in Monaco, what the hell are you doing awake?"

Charles shrugs and you notice his bare shoulders, he's shirtless. You're suddenly self-conscious about the way you look. With your hair sticking up from the sweat, your greasy face and ragged shirt. It's a silly worry.

"I wanted to talk to you," he says, and you know he's tired. "I saw your video earlier, but I was doing something else."

"Oh, you saw that."

"I'm proud of you y/n, you are brave for speaking your mind like that. I know it must have taken some effort." Charles moves again and you see his chest, he's already in bed.

"Charles, go to sleep, we can talk about this later," you chuckle, heat is rising to your face.

"I wanted to see you y/n, it doesn't matter what time it is. And I really wanted to tell you I'm glad you posted that video."

"Thank you, Charlie. I should have done it sooner."

"The only one who knows what timing is right for you, is yourself."

"Yeah, I guess so." you sigh, you're exhausted too and you blame it more on the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through than deep cleaning your apartment.

"Are you tired?" he asks, suppressing a yawn.

"No more than you," you retort, but can't help yawning as well. It's a scientific fact that yawns are contagious. "Go to sleep, we can talk tomorrow."

You talked yesterday too, and the day before, and you cried so much on the phone again you thought he would eventually hang up until you calmed down. But Charles soothed you through the phone at 1 am Monaco time and told you to let it all out, and listened without interrupting you once how you called Aidan and Victoria every name in the book.

"Fine," Charles says, rubbing his left eye carelessly. "Will you give me a tour of your apartment tomorrow, then?"

"Yes! I finished cleaning it today!"

Charles laughs softly at your excitement. “We’ll talk tomorrow then, just because you need to sleep.”

“Sure I am the sleepy one,” you roll your eyes and Charles smiles, both dimples showing. “Goodnight Charlie, sweet dreams.” The last part you say it in a slightly mocking tone but Charles doesn’t take it as such, smile widening.

“Goodnight soleil,” he says and waits a few seconds for you to react to your newly given nickname before hanging up, anxious but satisfied.

─── team principal radio: ❝thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and are liking the story so far. We're slowly getting to the y/n redemption. Once again, i really appreciate all of your interactions they mean the world to me. Also check out the series playlist if you haven't♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @sassyheroneckgiant @flowerchild-96 @fangirlika @shegotboreddsoo @roseamongthorns13 @cissyp @chimchimjiminie16 @saturnsrinqs @roni-midnights @gayyvodka6 @studioreader @its-ash-not-grey @lu-morningstar @ferraribabe @reidsworld @feelslikestrawberries @celestialams @kosmosgalore @heeseung-baby @missenclod @buendiabebeta @mycenterfold @aces-tattooartist @burningrred @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @rainybabe25 @ru-kru @lazybot @teenagedreams-cl @cool-ultra-nerd @kuskumu @formulakay3 @bisexual-desi @somanyfandomsbruh @icarus-nex @haziefairy @xjval @xoxoloverb @sainzleclercs @headinthecloudssblog @incoherenciass @bookophiliac @torrie421 @nooshytushie @azxulaa @steephanie07 @anonymous8462 @tbisloneely @pukklv @bn7921 @be-your-coffee-pot @fdl305 @lovely-blackinnon @landonorizzz @ruleroftheuniverse @ivegotparticulartaste

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korrasamiweek2024 · 3 months

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Hi everyone! This December will mark the 10th anniversary of Korra and Asami walking hand in hand into the Spirit Portal and changing the animation game forever. Korrasami means so much to so many people, so let's give them the celebration they deserve💖

Here's a general idea of what to expect and when:

February 1st - April 30th: Prompt Submission. Let me know what kind of prompts you'd like to see! Send me a message here and I'll add it to the list.

May: Prompt Voting. Depending on how many prompt ideas are submitted, this could take one week or a few weeks. We'll see when we get there!

June - December 14th: Long stretch of time during which I'll be on my hands and knees begging you not to forget this event is a thing, and you can brainstorm and work on your submissions!

December 15th - December 21st: Korrasami Week!!!

Keep reading under the cut for rules and guidelines😊

Rules and Guidelines:

1. What's allowed? Pretty much anything! Artwork, fanfiction, gifsets, headcanons, analysis/meta, memes, etc. are all welcome, as long as they're your own work and are Korrasami-focused.

2. Explicit content is fine, but the characters need to be adults, and everything depicted MUST be consensual.

3. Please abide by Tumblr's guidelines about explicit content, otherwise there's a chance Tumblr might delete your submission! If you're not sure, you can always post your work to another site (AO3, twitter, etc.) and then link to it here. All explicit content posted and reblogged here will be tagged "nsft" so be sure to block that tag if you'd like to filter out such content!

4. No whitewashing, racism, misogyny, transphobia, ableism, or other bigotry of any kind.

5. When submitting visual or audio media, please include a description either in ALT text or in the body of the post itself.

6. Other characters and relationships from The Legend of Korra are welcome, but your submission should be primarily about Korrasami.

7. Be kind. No criticism ("constructive" or otherwise) of other people's work unless the creator explicitly requests it. If you don't like something, just keep scrolling!

8. Follow the prompts if you can! They're meant to be helpful, but if you get inspired by something else entirely, please feel free to submit whatever you make!

9. Tag for content warnings if you think something might be triggering.

10. Submit your fanwork either by mentioning @korrasamiweek2024 in the body of your post and using the #korrasamiweek2024 tag, or by submitting it directly to this blog. You can also add it to the Korrasami Week 2024 Collection on AO3. All submissions for each prompt will be reblogged or posted by the end of the day.

11. There's no such thing as a stupid question, so if you're unsure about something, feel free to ask!

#korrasami #korrasamiweek2024 #tlok #lok #korra #asami sato

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shikai-the-storyteller · 11 months

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The Federation, The Census Bureau, QSMP, Cucurucho, and Roier

Something fishy is going on regarding Roier and the higher powers of the QSMP, and after chatting with @kasiobite, I've realized that things are a lot more complicated than we first thought.

We do know a few things though:

Roier considered Cucurucho a friend for a long time (he doesn't anymore after Bobby's death)

Cucurucho was, and has always been, very fond of Roier

Cucurucho seemed happiest when it was with Roier

Cucurucho does not always represent the QSMP. Sometimes, it specifically says it represents the Federation. (Are these two different forces on the Island?)

The most we've ever learned about Cucurucho has been when it's spoken with Roier

Roier has told Cucurucho he loved it

Roier thinks Cucurucho is being controlled by the Island / the Federation and wanted to help free it

The Cucurucho we knew at the beginning of the series and the Cucurucho we know now act differently. Many believe this is because it was punished for its feelings for Roier, and its memory was altered.

When describing Cucurucho to Bobby, Roier (who seems to understand Cucurucho best) said this:

"I think Cucurucho is sad. It's just that, I remember I used to hang out with him a lot when I first came to this Island. I hung out with him a lot. He always came to see me and help me. But from one moment to the next, I realize that he had changed. He stopped being so kind to me, and in fact he gave me a book. He had been telling me for many days that he was going to stop bothering me, it seems like he was scolded, but he acts like nothing's wrong. He acts like everything is fine, but I feel like they are forcing him. He's sad. He doesn't show it, but he wrote me a sad face."

Let's break down the details day by day:

[UPDATED: June 4]

Day 1 - 3 - Establishing a bond

Since the beginning, Cucurucho had a very playful relationship with Roier. It enjoyed surprising / scaring Roier with its sudden appearance, and after a certain point, Roier began to expect Cucurucho's presence whenever he called it.

And sure enough, whenever Roier called it, Cucurucho came.

There's a lot of playful teasing between the two of them, and these first three days best exhibit Cucurucho's personality.

When Roier wanted to create a taco truck, he searched the Island for all the ingredients he needed, but had no luck finding tomatillo seeds. Cucurucho appears suddenly before him, and after whacking him on the head, it offers him... some tomato seeds.

Roier gets excited until he realizes what the seeds are, and when Cucurucho realizes its mistake, it digs itself a hole and jumps in. Cucurucho seems genuinely embarrassed by its mistake, and its the most expressive we've ever seen Cucurucho be.

What's interesting is that, even outside of its interactions with Roier, Cucurucho's mind always seems to circle back to him.

On Day 3, Cucurucho hangs out with Mariana for 10 minutes in a cave before giving him a book that says "Tell me everything you know about Roier." (Note: this is completely unprompted by anything)

Mariana, having absolutely zero sense of self-preservation, proceeds to tease Cucurucho about its crush on Roier so much it would put an entire class of Kindergarten children to shame.

Mariana: You like Roier, don't you? You like Roier man! You like him! Ohhhhhhhhh~!!! You like him!!!!

(He also asks Cucurucho if it wants Roier's number).

Cucurucho then shoots and kills Mariana (lmao) but eventually does revive him. It seems to get frustrated when Mariana doesn't give it any information it deems "helpful" and starts digging pits and running back and forth. When Mariana asks what kind of information Cucurucho wants, it says "classified" and refuses to elaborate.

Day 4 - Last day with "our" Cucurucho

This is the first time we get a hint that there are multiple Cucuruchos [Timestamp 3h 52m]. Cucurucho appears in Roier's basement, and is also at the top of the stairs when Roier goes up, then back downstairs when Roier goes down. Roier is, understandably, a little freaked out, but he shakes it off pretty quickly. Cucurucho is a bit playful with Roier, and just… hangs out with him for no apparent reason. Roier even asks Cucurucho "Are you having a good time here?" and Cucurucho nods. Roier seems happy at the response, saying "this is your house."

Roier gives him his first taco [Timestamp: 3h 56m], having made a deal with Cucurucho that he'd give it 10 tacos (and more) in exchange for one taco from Cucurucho. It hurts his feelings that Cucurucho doesn't have an enthusiastic reaction about the taco, and after he makes a huevo joke and Cucurucho shooting him then pretends like nothing happened, Roier feels really bad. Roier tells Cucurucho it can't treat him like this and pouts for a bit.

When he tries asking Cucurucho its name, it just responds with "no" and when Roier tries asking it why there are two of them, the upstairs one says "I don't know." Roier asks Cucurucho to let him go so he can get more materials to make more tacos, and Cucurucho tells him no.

While waiting for Cucurucho to finish writing him an answer via book, Roier gives Cucurucho back the amapola (poppy) it gave him earlier, pretending to spit at him because he's mad [Timestamp 3h 58m 50s]. Cucurucho hands him a book that says "Finish what I told you." They part ways with Roier (half-jokingly) saying, "You know what Osito Bimbo, you know what? I'm tired of you treating me badly. You and I are no longer friends," and dramatically logs out.

Day 5 - A Final Message

Roier logs in and immediately finds potted amopola (poppies) in his house. At the top of the stairs is another singular amapola, two tacos, and this book:

Translation: 0037. Through this I want to express my most sincere apologies for treating you as a slave. We are sorry for any discomfort I may have caused you. We hope you continue to enjoy the island at its best. You won't see me, but I will see you. Best regards, Federal QSMP Commission

There are a few things weird with this message, namely the fact that it's signed by the Federal QSMP Commission, and the use of "I" vs "We" in several places (though I chock that up to translation inconsistencies, so YMMV).

I briefly wondered what the significance of 0037 was before I remembered that was Roier's ticket number.

Why refer to him by a number instead of a name? Does this confirm that they're all part of an experiment?

Anyways, Roier says, "No! No!!! I want to keep seeing you Osito!" and responds to that message with this:

Translation: Hello my dear Osito Bimbo :) I like you, please keep showing up. And that's all, uwu

As far as I'm aware, none of the books from Osito Bimbo up until this point used smiley-faces, but after this, Cucurucho started using them in some of its books. Did it learn that from Roier?

(To give you a timeframe reference for where we are: this same day, Roier is later betrayed by Spreen and Quackity. In one fell swoop, Roier lost many of the people he cared about, and who cared about him, all in one day.)

Day 6

[Timestamp 2h 32m] Quackity says he doesn't want to give any spoilers, but he warns Fit, Vegetta, and Roier to be careful around Cucurucho.

Day 10 - Cucurucho is back, but isn't the same

[Timestamp: 2h 12m 30s] At the adoption center (where Mariana is trying to comfort JuanaFlippa, who says she wants a new family) Roier sees Osito Bimbo spying on them and chases after it, but it vanishes.

Later, while Roier is with Jaiden, he tells her there's more than one Cucurucho, then sees Cucurucho standing on top of one of the buildings near spawn / the wall. Roier tells Cucurucho, "Come here! I missed you!" Cucurucho doesn't come. For whatever reason, Jaiden can't see it. Roier says to Cucurucho, "Ok, well maybe later I can see you in my house. You are going to come, because I know you! I know you like the back of my hand" (Cucurucho shakes its head "no" at this)

[Timestamp 2h 59m] After Roier and Jaiden put Bobby to bed and Jaiden logs out, Roier does a few laps around the castle while talking to Chat. When he comes back a few minutes later, he finds the entry to Bobby's room blocked off and a sign in front of it that reads: "Don't touch your son."

Here's where things get interesting: for context, between this stream and the last time Roier streamed on the QSMP, Mariana and Slimecicle broke into Leonarda's house and misclicked the bed. Since then, a new rule was implemented on the server saying that if an Egg's bed breaks, they lose a life.

Was Cucurucho trying to warn Roier, and potentially save Bobby's life?

Anyways, Roier immediately breaks the blocks and runs upstairs to check on Bobby. He laughs, thinking Bobby is playing a prank on him, then realizes Bobby (and the admin) isn't logged in. He then asks, "Cucurucho?" out loud and starts looking around for it. Roier starts theorizing, saying no one can get through his door since he has a whitelist and only a few people can enter. He checks the house for any weakpoints that someone could sneak in through, but there are none, and he determines that Bobby is safe.

Roier mentions that Cucurucho isn't acting like its usual self. When they do finally meet again in the castle courtyard, Cucurucho keeps its distance from him.

Roier: Well, I'm here, is there anything you want to ask me? I've seen you around, watching me. Do you want to know something about me?

Cucurucho: Classified.

Roier: Are you holding a book? Why haven't you visited me? Tell me.

Cucurucho: Classified

Roier: Ouch, now you don't want to tell me anything. Do you not like me anymore?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Do you not like me anymore? I thought we… I thought we were buddies.

Cucurucho: Maybe. I don't know.

[ A short time later, Roier starts singing a song and doing a little dance for Cucurucho ]

Roier: – And that's how it went. Huh? Don't you remember? How come you don't remember? Those were good times, when we spent time together! How come you don't remember? Remember!!!!

Cucurucho: I don't know (It repeats this several times)

Roier: No you DO know! Come down. First of all, come down. Why are you talking to me from up there? Come down, don't be so rude.

Cucurucho: No. (Repeated several times)

Roier: Come on, why not? Come! Are you jealous?* *(He says "Ta celoso", celoso is jealous and oso is bear, so he's making a pun)

Cucurucho: Enjoy the Island. (Turns to leave)

Roier: I do enjoy it a lot, Osito! Osito!

Roier runs after Cucurucho and confronts it yet again. Cucurucho gives him a book that has his ticket number in it, then tries to leave again.

[Timestamp 3h 7m] Roier follows it, even digging to go underground with it to keep up, asking why it gave him a book with his train ticket number on it.

Roier: Stop playing a fool, where are you going? I won't stop following you

Cucurucho: [ Fires two warning shots on either side of Roier ]

Roier: What, are you going to kill me? Come on, kill me! Shoot me! Kill me! Murder me right here! Are you going to leave a child without a father? Are you going to leave Jaiden without a partner?

Cucurucho opts to run away, and Roier continues following it until it goes somewhere he can't (under lava) leaving him shouting, "You can't leave me like this!"

Day [ ? ]

I'm uncertain what day this happens, but someone pointed out this important conversation Roier has with Bobby around day 32. [CLIP]

Roier: Have you seen a white bear around?

Bobby: [ Wiggles to indicate "no" ]

Roier: You haven't seen him around… He's an old friend of mine, he's an old friend of mine. He could help us out with anything we need. I know I can count on him.

Day 32 - Love, Understanding, and Tenderness

[Timestamp 2h 39m] While they're in the castle, Bobby suddenly pulls out his gun and leads Roier outside. Roier asks what's wrong, then sees Cucurucho standing on the balcony above them.

[Timestamp 2h 41m] After messing around with his new stretchy tentacle gun that lets him Spider-man swing, he finally gets up to where Cucurucho is. Cucurucho greets him with a "Buenos Dias" then asks how Roier is doing. Roier says he's doing fine, then asks Cucurucho how it is and what its been doing.

Cucurucho: I was informed you were looking for me.

Roier: Yes, that's right. Where were you all that time? Why did you stop talking to me? Why did you leave my life?

Cucurucho: Classified

Roier: Cucurucho, Cucurucho, Osito Bimbo, why did you stop talking to me?

[ Cucurucho hands him a book that says, "Do you need anything?" ]

Roier: Yes. What I need is love, understanding, and tenderness.

[Bobby punches him off the tower]

Roier: Anyways, I was saying –

Cucurucho: Observation.

Roier: Observation? Let's see, but did you leave because you had to, or did you leave because they made you? What happened?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: I already know what happened, I know what happened. It was Mariana, Mariana bothered you and told you, "YOU LIKE ROIER you like him, you like Roier!" Right? Was that it?

Cucurucho: [ Turns away and hangs its head ]

Roier: Hey, yes or no? Tell me. You got trapped--

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: What?

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: [Laughs] What is that laugh? You're laughing to make the moment less awkward, right? This is a defense mechanism. "Hahaha."

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Well, if you don't want to answer, that's fine. You don't send me WhatsApp or anything. You don't love me. We are no longer friends. [He starts to hop away, then turns back to see Cucurucho's response]

[Cucurucho hands him a book that says, "On this island there are many things to do."]

Roier: For example, that?

[Roier moves to stand closer to Cucurucho, then Bobby knocks him off the tower again. Roier "Spider-man"s his way back up the tower, and he and Cucurucho are face to face again]

Cucurucho: Classified

Roier: What do you mean by that, what do you mean by that? Tell me! What is there to do here, what is there to do? Tell me.

Cucurucho hands him this book, which says: "We are preparing things for your enjoyment. Thank you very much for your patience."

Roier: Ok, but is that the reason you no longer speak with me? You're very busy?

Cucurucho: [Nods]

Roier is concerned about Cucurucho's voice and asks if it's still able to say yes or no, and Cucurucho proves it can still say that. Roier asks Cucurucho if it needs to go and it says yes. Roier says: "You could stay with us and eat taquitos" drink Jamaica water or horchata if you like that more," and starts offering Cucurucho more and more food. Bobby falls off the building and Roier has to leave and go revive him, and Cucurucho again asks if he needs anything and apologizes for the inconvenience, saying its busy.

Roier: As I was telling you before, what I need is love, understanding, and tenderness. Do you have that?

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: Why are you laughing? That makes you laugh?

[Cucurucho hands him a book that says Las Casualonas is on the other side of the Island]

Roier: [Laughing] But it's not that, there is that but it's not love.* Besides, I work there! I am Las Casualonas! I mean I can't go there because I'm the one who gives love, I'm the one who gives love, I'm the one who gives love and tenderness, but who gives it to me? Who gives me love? Tell me, who gives me love?

*(The phrasing on this is a bit weird but in essence, that's what he said here)

[Bobby hits Roier again, wanting him to take them somewhere fun, and Cucurucho says, "Enjoy the Island" before leaving. Bad and Dapper have just arrived and are just hanging out, but follow Roier, who starts chasing Cucurucho, to watch the drama]

Roier: Osito, why are you leaving? Do you want to leave? If you want to leave, you can leave, if you don't love me anymore, it's ok. No it's ok, if you don't love me anymore, then leave. Leave.

[Roier momentarily glances back at Bad, who's just standing there just silently watching their private conversation while Dapper's taking photos like a weirdo]

Cucurucho hands him a book that says: "What are you talking about?" then starts fishing.

Roier: Don't be stupid, don't act like an idiot, if you don't love me anymore, you can go.

Cucurucho doesn't leave, continuing to fish until Bad gets closer, and it throws him the fishing pole then turns to leave.

Roier: (To Bad) Don't be such a gossip! (To Cucurucho) No no no! Well, if you want to go, go. I asked you to screw me, not fail me.*

*I have no idea how to translate this, it's slang so don't take it literally but I genuinely don't know how to translate that.

Cucurucho shoots Roier and leaves.

Day 34 - Who is the Host?

[Timestamp 3h 44m 30s] Roier talks to Bobby about Cucurucho, calling it his friend. He says he wants to talk to Cucurucho again and starts singing "Baby Come Back"

Roier does a "ritual" trying to get Cucurucho to visit, and it (miraculously) works. Rainbow Cucurucho appears, and acts stranger than usual (which is saying something, considering this is Cucurucho we're talking about). This is their exchange [I'll add a clip later]:

Cucurucho: Good morning. What are you doing? We're from the QSMP Federation. It was reported that you were looking for me

Roier: I missed you! I was looking for you. I have a question Cucurucho, lately, I have seen people saying I work for the Federation. People are saying that I work for you. Cucurucho, you and I know-

Cucurucho: Hahaha

Roier: Exactly! You laugh because you and I are only friends, right, we are friends. [Long pause] …Right?

Cucurucho: I don't know.

Roier: Nah, you know, you know. Cucurucho, I don't know what you are, but you… you love me. You can't deny that. You love me: yes or no?

Cucurucho: Hahaha.

Roier: Nahhh no no no, Cucurucho, do you love me: yes or no? Do you love me? Yes or no? Wait- don't go Cucurucho- !

Cucurucho: No.

Roier: No?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Ok, Cucurucho. I have a question for you- I have a question for you. Let's see. If you don't like me, why do you come when I call you? If I'm not to your liking, why do you come? Every time I call, you answer. Tell me.

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Cucuruchito, because I've known you since we first got here, I know you. There will be people who arrived a few days ago-

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: IT IS THE DUTY OF A GOOD HOST. IF THEY CALL ME, IT IS MY DUTY TO COME. ]

Roier: How is that the duty of a good Host? You are the Host? You are a Host? Host.... of a program show for children?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO DO RITUALS ]

Roier: Ok... then Cucurucho, Cucurucho, Cucurucho, then let's see- clarify something for me- [Cucurucho starts to build up and go away] Nononono don't go! Wait wait wait. What do you mean you are a Host? Are you a Host? By "Host" do you mean the presenter of a program? Or do you mean that you are the Host of the Island?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Cucurucho? I thought we were friends. I don't know. So you just come because I call you? Because- because you are a good host?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: YOU WERE INVITED TO THE ISLAND. THAT'S RIGHT, A HOST. ]

Roier: But Cucurucho, wait- wait wait wait- I mean, you say you are nothing but an asset? In other words, you are just active, because you don’t want to look bad to me? That’s why?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: WE COME WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING. TO THE GUESTS, I GIVE WHAT THEY DESERVE. ]

Roier: ...Ok. It's fine. It's fine, Cucurucho. It's fine. Ok, but but you told me you were the Host. Are you the host?

Cucurucho: Hahaha.

Roier: Ok Cucurucho. I won't bother you anymore. I just wanted to see you again, but now it's clear to me... that you don't like* me. You never liked me. You come because you don't want to look bad in front of me because you want to be a good Host -- or do you want to make the Host look good?

* Roier uses the word "querer" here which is more sentimental than just "like"

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: WANT IS A TERM I DON'T KNOW ]

Roier: So… they force you? They force you? Are you being forced?

Cucurucho: Enjoy the Island. [Runs away]

Roier: [Runs after it ] Are they forcing you to come here?! Cucurucho, answer me! I love you! I appreciate you! Are they forcing you to do this? Do they force you to come? ...Are you a real person? Are you a person disguised as a bear?

Cucurucho: ...

Roier: Cucurucho?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FORCES ME TO COME. IF YOU NEED SOMETHING, IT IS MY DUTY. NOTHING ELSE. DO YOU NEED SOMETHING? ]

Roier: So when I need something from you, you'll come? Nothing more? Every time I need something, you come?

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: THOSE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THE HOST. THAT'S HOW IT IS. ]

Roier: Cucurucho, the truth is, I don't want to lie to you. I've been very sad. I think I want to leave the island. I feel very sad Cucurucho.

[Bobby punches Roier, and Roier shakes his head and holds a finger up to his lips, telling Bobby to be quiet]

Cucurucho: [ Hands him a book that says: WHAT IS MISSING ON THIS ISLAND THAT YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY? ]

Roier: I'm missing... I... need more friends.

Cucurucho: [Gestures at Badboyhalo and Dapper, who have been lurking trying to listen in on their conversation]

Roier: Them? Them as friends? But I don't like him, he smells like avocado. [Bad punches him] I want friends who don't smell like avocado, and who don't write so much!

Cucurucho: [Gives Roier a cockroach and tells him to enjoy the Island, then turns to leave]

Roier: Ok, ok, thank you. [Roier chases after Cucurucho] You have a nice day too! Nobody forces you to do what you don't want to do! You're free! Goodbye Osito Bimbo. [Osito Bimbo pauses as Roier is attacked by a zombie mob, hesitating until it sees he's ok] Goodbye!

[Timestamp 3h 55m] Despite their farewells, Roier decides to follow Cucurucho more anyways to see where it goes.

[Timestamp 3h 57m 45s] Afterward, Roier and Bobby go home, and Roier tells Bobby (in a low voice to avoid anyone overhearing), "I think Cucurucho is sad. It's just that, I remember I used to hang out with him a lot when I first came to this Island. I hung out with him a lot. He always came to see me and help me. But from one moment to the next, I realize that he had changed. He stopped being so kind to me, and in fact he gave me a book. He had been telling me for many days that he was going to stop bothering me, it seems like he was scolded, but he acts like nothing's wrong. He acts like everything is fine, but I feel like they are forcing him. He's sad. He doesn't show it, but he wrote me a sad face."

Day 36 - The Federation takes Felps

[Timestamp 1h 16m] Cucurucho arrives at Roier's castle with half the server (all rainbow) in tow. Roier asks how Cucurucho is doing, and Cellbit confronts Cucurucho about the chainsaw incident, which Cucurucho denies happened. Roier intervenes, telling people not to fight. Maximus pulls Roier aside, telling him something strange is happening with Felps because he's acting like he's "Cucurucho's best friend", and Maximus wonders if he's being brainwashed.

Cucurucho spends this entire time giving people gifts acting harmless, until Cellbit intervenes again.

Cellbit: Roier, Roier, don't trust Cucurucho, he's a liar.

Roier: Why?

Cucurucho: Why?

Cellbit: Don't believe him. He tortured me with a chainsaw.

Roier: He tortured you? Ah, you did tell me. Cucurucho, is that true?

Cucurucho: [shakes its head] No

Cellbit: He's lying, he's lying! Guapito, believe me, believe me.

Roier: Ok, I believe you, gatinho, I believe you gatinho. [He repeats "I believe you" over and over]

Cellbit: Be careful around him, ok? He's a manipulator, a liar. Do not believe his lies!

[As Cellbit says this, Cucurucho hangs its head]

Roier: I knew him from a long time ago. And he was not always like that. He was good before. But I don't know. What happened to you?

[Timestamp 1h 57m] Felps is taken by the Federation, and Cellbit, Maximus, and Roier confront Cucurucho, who laughs and says "I hope you enjoy the Island," offering them no answers.

[Timestamp 2h 8m 40s] Cellbit takes Roier and the other boys to the Theory Bros room, where they discuss the events from today and theories about Cucurucho]

Roier: Let me explain one thing. Cucurucho was very good to me. But then one day, he was very strange, you know? He was like… doing strange things, I don't know how to explain. But he was very good at the beginning, but then— he was like the Host.

Cellbit: Maybe at first he was really worried about making a good impression, and after that he started to let his guard down, and you caught him red-handed doing something weird.

Roier: Maybe the Host changed Cucurucho. I dunno, that's a theory.

Day 37

The longer Roier hung out with Cellbit and the Theory Bros, the more his opinion of Cucurucho soured.

[Timestamp 3h 16m] After a chat with Richarlyson about his art skills, he asks him to draw Cucurucho, and they draw what they think it looks like together.

[Timestamp 3h 26m] They show off their finished artwork to Cellbit, and both he and Roier call it "The true face of Cucurucho." Roier's art is on the bottom, Richarlyson's is the one on top.

Roier: This person, this one here, is the true Cucurucho. The devil.

Cellbit: A demon of the apocalypse.

Day 41 - Reviving Bobby

[Timestamp: 17m] Cucurucho visits Roier and Jaiden a few days after Bobby's death. It tells him to gather his friends to try and rescue Bobby, and gives him this book:

[See it from Jaiden's POV]

Roier: I didn't lie to you. I told you I have new friends, I told you, and now they're all here.

Cucurucho: If you want to see [Bobby] again, there's a price to pay.

But they don't get Bobby back.

Cucurucho: I told you. Everything has a price.

Roier: Was that the price? All those deaths?

Cucurucho: Yes :) […] There is a high price to pay when it comes to life and death. 10 minutes is the best I could get you.

In reality, they wound up getting 25. Realistically, this was probably just the admins feeling bad for Roier and Jaiden because frick dude, that was depressing, but if we want to give an in-universe explanation for it, Cucurucho might've given them more time.

Even so, Roier still vows he'll hold a trial against the Federation to try and get Bobby back.

Day 47 - A series of unfortunate events

I'm gonna TLDR this because so much happened on this day I'd recommend just watching the VOD, but essentially: Jaiden makes a deal with Cucurucho in the hopes that in return, they'll get something that will help protect the Eggs forever. Roier, distrustful of Cucurucho, stays close to keep an eye on things, and he has some back and forth interactions with Cucurucho that are reminiscent of their early day interactions, but are layered with sadness and mistrust.

Miscellaneous

Alright this post is getting long enough as it is, but let's run through some other oddities:

When Cellbit was trying to join the Federation, Cucurucho gave him a task that was specifically about Roier, asking him what he needs to be happy, why he's sad, and what would make him smile. Perhaps it's understandable that Cucurucho would be interested in one of the most depressed members of the Island, because the whole point of the Island is to make people happy, but considering their past friendship / relationship, detail of Cucurucho singling out Roier is something worth noting (particularly since it knows Cellbit is also close to Roier). Also idk, something about the way it's phrased as, "What would make him smile?" makes my heart ache

Cucurucho's task and Cellbit's answers:

Other things of interest other people have brought up:

Roier (used to) keep all the books Cucurucho gave him in a chest

I should also note here that Cucurucho has always been kind to Jaiden as well. Despite terrifying her that first day, it also gave her a blue parrot. While Jaiden has always been cautious of Cucurucho, she's always been polite as well. When everyone went to save Bobby, she stopped to say thank you to Cucurucho (presumably thanking it for giving them the chance to save Bobby).

There's a lot I could say about Jaiden's interactions with Cucurucho, but if I did this post would be twice as long, so I'll have to save that for another day I'm afraid :'D

If there's anything I missed, please send it to me so I can add it here, or add it in the reblogs!

UPDATE: This thread compiles even more moments between Cucurucho and Roier and includes translated clips

#QSMP #Roier #Cucurucho #Bimboier #Osito Bimbo #The Federation #QSMP talk #I talk #Y'ALL BETTER APPRECIATE THIS I MISSED A QUACKITY STREAM WRITING THIS #I spent wayyyyy to long doing research for this wtf #I wish I hadn't timed myself #qsmp analysis

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lizzieislife94x · 2 months

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My New Boss (e.o)

Requested <3 LizziexFem Reader GxG Legal age gap 🤭 y/n is 22 lizzie is 34

Did ya miss me 😏😏 sorry for not updating haha had a shitty few weeks I'm currently hungover so fricking bad so thought I'd give yall a one shot gonna try and update a few so send me requests please I go on holiday in 10 daya so gonna try and update a few before then ✌🏻

Y/ns POV:

I look over to my roommate June who has a huge smirk on her face "what it's 7am why are you smirking at me" I say rolling my eyes as I grab my cup of coffee "someone's looking all cute and sexy for her boss" I don't even need to look at her I can hear her smirk "no, no" i start as I look down at my outfit a simple cute shirt with a shortish skirt and some simple black heels "this is just smart work clothes" I huff as she laughs "yeah yeah I've seen your boss and that is one hot milf" I frown "she doesn't have kids dickhead" she walks towards me placing her hands on my shoulders "maybe not but she's 34 and you're 22 she's 12 years older" I pull away and put my coffee cup in the dishwasher "I don't like her like that" I lie to myself and my roommate "I just admire her and somewhat look up to her she's always been nice to me that's it" I say as I make my way to the front door "now I gotta go or I'll be late" with that I quickly make my way to my car to start the short journey to work.

As I walk in and swipe my card I smile and greet the reception workers "morning ladies" I say with a smile as I make my way up towards my bosses office my heart beating a little faster as I stop and knock "come in" I hear her loud but sweet voice as I make my way inside "good morning miss olsen" I swear as she looks up her face lights up "well good morning y/n you look great today" she smiles as she places her pen down giving me her full attention "uh thank you, you too miss olsen" I blush playing with my fingers "that skirt is gonna have alot of eyes on you y/n" she speaks with a tone to her voice maybe jealousy no why would she be I clear my throat and straighten my skirt "I uh I'm sorry I didn't think it would be inappropriate miss olsen ill stick to pants" I say feeling my cheeks burn as I look into her eyes she has her bottom lip captured in her teeth "I think you should stick to the skirts you look extremely sexy" I feel my heart racing at her words "why don't you go grab us both a coffee and then ill give you work for the day not sure what needs done at the moment" I nod and turn to rush to the kitchen to pour 2 cups of coffee making my way back as quickly as possible "here you go miss olsen" I say as I place her coffee on the table as she gives me her adorable bright smile "please take a seat y/n" I sit as she looks at me "so you've been here 2 months now how are you finding it" she asks as she takes a sip of her coffee what sounds like a moan leaving her lips "I've absolutely loved it everyone is so friendly and made me feel so welcome, I have a great boss and great co workers what more can a girl want in a job" I smile as I hold my coffee in both in hands "that's great I'm glad you're loving it im hoping you stick around you're the best assistant/worker I've had working by in a long time you get the work done properly" I can't help smile like a fool as she praises me "oh I am indeed loving it and the people are great a few of the girls around the office invited me to a night out on Friday so I'm glad to be included" she frowns slightly as she tilts her head "a night out huh with drinking and stuff" she asks taking me by surprise as I nod sipping my coffee "well maybe I'll join you ladies" I almost chock on my coffee as my eyes widen, no fuck I can't have her near me or see me when I'm drunk what if I make a move or day something stupid and loose my job fuck "hey y/n where did you go, that wouldn't be a problem would it?" I try to compose myself as I sit straight "oh uh no that won't be a problem you are more than welcome to join us ill find out the details from the girls at lunch and ill let you know when and where" I smile kicking myself inside "great ill look forward to it" she smirks as she says it, fuck why does she look so good "can you take these files and copy them that should take you to lunch" she says as she pushes a pile of files I smile and get to work.

8 hours later:

I sigh slamming myself onto the couch as I get texts from 2 of the girls asking why I invited the boss I quickly inform them it was an accident as I throw my phone one the couch "damn was work that bad you look like shit" I hear June say as she plops down beside me I groan and look at her "lizzie was asking how I was finding the job and we where chatting and I told her I have a night out with the girls from work on Friday and now she's coming to I can't drink alcohol around her you know how I am, ill either think fuck it and make a move or I'll tell her something stupid" I rant as she laughs slightly "hey y/n calm down it will be OK here's what to do find a girl, drink and dance and have fun maybe get a kiss or two and you'll be fine if you have your attention on a cute girl you won't do anything stupid" I think for a second and sigh "yeah I guess you're right" i say standing up and I go to my room to get changed into shorts and a vest trying not to think about the night out in days.

AN: I genuinely hope this makes sense I feel it doesn't I wasn't planning on making it 2 parts but it was long before I even had a chance to put smut so the next part will be smut with a cheeky little night out with the boss 🤭 I hope yall are doing amazing! Remember drink water and stay hydrated babes 💗 😘 requestes are open as always, word count 1.2k

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justinspoliticalcorner · 14 days

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Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

Donald Trump’s first of four criminal trials is scheduled to begin Monday in New York. After what is expected to be two to three weeks for jury selection, Trump’s criminal trial—where he is facing 34 felonies--is predicted to take six weeks. That means by mid-June, Donald Trump will be a convicted felon. It’s really that simple. Is there a chance Trump is not convicted? Sure, as a former trial lawyer, I can vouch firsthand that juries can surprise you. But based on the evidence developed in the criminal investigation and disclosed during the pre-trial portion of this case, it is clear that Trump falsified documents to conceal other federal and state crimes. Thus, Trump committed numerous felonies. Everyone knows the core allegation, namely that Trump—via his then lawyer Michael Cohen--paid $130,000 shortly before the 2016 election to stop Stormy Daniels from going public with the tale of her affair with Trump. Now, if Trump had paid Daniels solely to keep his wife from finding out about his affair, that would be one thing. It wasn’t.

Trump paid Daniels the money because he feared that if information went public at the time, he would lose the 2016 election. That at the very least made the secret payment a violation of federal election laws—which is one of the felonies Cohen pled guilty to committing in 2018, telling the court he made the payment “in coordination with, and at the direction of,” a presidential candidate who was Trump. This is why Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg has repeatedly stated the “core” of this case “is not money for sex,” it’s election corruption. Indeed, the very first line of the Statement of Facts that details the basis for the charges against Trump tells us that, “The defendant DONALD J. TRUMP repeatedly and fraudulently falsified New York business records to conceal criminal conduct that hid damaging information from the voting public during the 2016 presidential election.”

When you look at the timing of when Trump first hatched this scheme to pay off Daniels, you get why this was all about the campaign. The charging documents tell us point blank: “About one month before the election, on or about October 7, 2016, news broke that the Defendant had been caught on tape saying to the host of Access Hollywood: “I just start kissing them [women]. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything…Grab ’em by the [genitals]. You can do anything.” The political firestorm caused by the release of the Access Hollywood tape is why just three days later, Trump—with the help of Cohen and his publisher friend AMI Editor-in-Chief David Pecker-- moved swiftly to pay off Daniels. They heard she was shopping around the story of her affair with Trump. And Trump, former Trump aide Hope Hicks (who the State will be calling as a witness), Cohen and others knew that it would have been devastating for his campaign if voters learned in the midst of the Access Hollywood tape backlash that Trump had an affair with a “porn star” a mere four months after Melania gave birth to their only child.

Indeed, the statement of facts tells us this was all about the campaign: “The evidence shows that both the Defendant and his campaign staff were concerned that the tape would harm his viability as a candidate and reduce his standing with female voters in particular.” That is why Daniels was approached on October 10, 2016, with a deal to “prevent disclosure of the damaging information in the final weeks before the presidential election.” Under the agreement, Daniels was paid $130,000. But here is where the crimes come in. As the pleadings explain, Trump “did not want to make the $130,000 payment himself” so he asked Cohen to come up with a way to do that. “After discussing various payment options,” Cohen agreed he would make the payment and Trump would pay him back. It all worked as planned, Daniels never told America about the affair and Trump won the election.

Then, “shortly after being elected President, the Defendant arranged to reimburse” Cohen for the payoff he made to Daniels on Trump’s behalf. The plan they came up was that Cohen would be paid monthly for “legal fees” until the amount he advanced was repaid. In reality, as the pleadings note, “At no point did Lawyer A [Cohen] have a retainer agreement with the Defendant or the Trump Organization.” Yet Cohen still submitted monthly invoices to Trump’s company for legal services. Some were paid by Trump’s company while nine of the reimbursement checks to Cohen for fabricated legal services came from Trump’s personal bank account and Trump “signed each of the checks personally.” And as alleged, “The Defendant caused his entities’ business records to be falsified to disguise his and others’ criminal conduct.”

Dean Obeidallah wrote in his Dean's Report Substack that Donald Trump will likely have the words "convicted felon" attached to his name by sometime in June or early July should the jury find him guilty in the Manhattan election interference case. Most of America wants to see charges levied against him.

#Donald Trump #People of New York v. Trump #Donald Trump Trial #Trump Indictment #Alvin Bragg #Juan Manuel Merchan #Stormy Daniels #Michael Cohen #Stormy Daniels/Donald Trump Affair #2016 Presidential Election #2016 Elections #Trump Organization #American Media Inc.#David Pecker #National Enquirer #2005 Trump Access Hollywood Tape

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wooahaeproductions · 1 month

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Viewfinder

Lee Seokmin (Dokyeom) x Female Reader

Genre: fluff, smut, photographer!reader x bf!seok

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: nude photography, appreciation of Seokmin’s body, a little thigh riding? and protected sex (its gentle and sweet)

Rating: 18+ MDNI!!!

A/N: So this happened…lol. Thank you so much to the lovely June @onlyhuis for brainstorming with me and betaing!

Also tagging: @highvern @wongyuseokie @the-boy-meets-evil for uh reasons lol

Your camera clicked as you snapped multiple photos of the sun's rays against the top of the water’s ripples. Spring was in its prime and when you woke up that morning, you knew the weather was perfect for an outing to the marina park. You stopped clicking the shutter and flipped open the screen to review the photos you just took with a small smile. You had captured several shots of the sun’s reflection, the halo of it spreading out across the water as it nearly blinded you with its brilliance.

As a magazine photographer, you enjoyed your work taking photos of models and fashion items. Still, sometimes it was nice to take photos for yourself, for your own enjoyment and the park at the marina near your home never let you down. Soon, the cherry trees surrounding the area would bloom, providing you with more of the nature content you loved photographing the most.

You stopped looking at the pictures you took and pulled out your phone to look at the time when you noticed a text from your boyfriend letting you know that he was coming to pick you up from the park. He sent that about 10 minutes ago and most likely would be waiting in the parking lot any minute now. You made your way to the lot where he was indeed waiting for you in the car when you arrived.

You opened the door to the back of the car, offloading the tripod you were carrying on your shoulder into the seat and setting your camera bag next to it. “Did you get some good shots today, love?” Seokmin asked you from the front seat. You looked up to answer him and were quite happy you hadn’t put your camera in its bag yet because your boyfriend looked so stunning in the glow of the sunset.

You lifted your camera and looked through the viewfinder, seeing the most perfect shot of him. He had the window rolled open to let in the warm breeze and it ruffled his bangs slightly. His head leaned back against the headrest, and his sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose just as the oranges of the sunset began to paint his face. You pushed the shutter closed and the camera clicked, taking the photo.

“Yes, Seokmin. I got some great shots today,” you grinned, putting the camera in your bag now that you had captured your favorite human.

“Including the one you took just now?” He said, teasing you and shooting you a devastatingly adorable smile.

“That one might be the best one of the day,” you teased back, although it was a true statement in your mind. You pushed your camera bag into the seat further, making sure it was secure before closing the door and making your way to the passenger side. Seokmin leaned over and opened the door for you to get in. You settled in your seat, putting your seatbelt on before he pulled out of the lot heading for home. You looked over at your boyfriend, marveling at how lucky you were to have someone like him.

A few hours later, you were finishing up dinner when you had an idea to keep the inspiration that you had during the day going. “Hey, Seok?” you started.

“Hmm?” he responded, gathering your empty plate from the table to take them into the kitchen.

“So there’s one type of photography I haven’t done yet and I think I’d like to try it today…” you said a bit nervously.

“Okay, well what is it? Let’s do it,” Seokmin responded enthusiastically before knowing what it was.

“Um, nude photography,” you squeaked, looking down at your hands.

You heard him let out a light laugh before saying, “Anything for you, baby”. You knew that was true, he’d do anything you asked of him.

“Okay, well let me grab one of my cameras and I’ll meet you upstairs?” you said and he nodded after placing the dishes in the sink to wash later.

He went up to the bedroom while you went into the other room that housed all your cameras, and you grabbed your favorite one, the one you knew would capture all his gorgeous angles that made you weak in the knees. You took a deep breath as you made your way up the stairs. You didn’t know why you were so nervous, it’s not like you and Seokmin hadn’t seen each other naked before. But for some reason, the bond between photographer and nude model held a different type of intimacy.

You walked into the bedroom to find Seokmin lying on the bed, peering up at you while his arms propped his head up on the pillows. You fought to keep back a gasp as you eyed the bareness of his back, thighs, and ass. The sunlight that had shone earlier had now changed to moonlight that spilled into the room, creating shadows against the lines of his shoulder blades. Just when you thought he couldn’t get more beautiful, you were proved wrong.

His eyes lit up as you looked at him through your camera, and just as he gave a wide toothy smile, you pushed the shutter down to capture the moment. “Like what you see?” he asked cheekily, albeit a little out of character. You giggled, knowing he likely was nervous too and was acting like that to dissipate the unease.

“I very much like what I see, my muse,” you said back, still laughing. You snapped a few more photos, capturing the planes in his face and the curves of his naked frame. You knew you would edit these photos to be black and white, to better accentuate the shadowing and finer details of his body. You sat next to him on the bed as he moved to pose so you could get a closer shot. His skin looked so smooth that you couldn’t help but reach forward and brush your fingertips along the top of his shoulders.

You went to pull your hand away, but he stopped it with his own. “Couldn’t resist could you?” Seokmin joked.

“No, I couldn’t,” you said, rather bluntly. He wasn’t exactly expecting that answer and tugged you towards him, capturing your lips with his. As you kissed, he slowly took the camera from your other hand and set it down on the end table near the bed. Your now empty hand moved to rake your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

You continued kissing and found yourself further up on the bed, hovering over Seokmin. His hands had moved to the small of your back, pulling your clothed body flush against his naked one. He let out a whimper when your clothed core rubbed against the erection he was now sporting.

“I think we are a little uneven here, love,” he spoke, breaking your makeout session.

You smiled and leaned your forehead against his. “Should I even it out then?” you said, wasting no time and taking off your shirt. It was followed by your pants and undergarments, leaving you bare like Seokmin had been for the past twenty minutes.

“You’re so lovely,” Seokmin breathed out, leaving a peck on the top of your shoulder. You grinned at the notion of the subject complimenting the photographer. His hands found your hips, pulling you back against him. His skin against yours was silky and you couldn’t help but buck your hips against him.

He let out a sharp breath when his tip hit the edges of your folds and knew he couldn’t wait to be inside you. He rubbed his length against you, dragging it lightly as you gave a slight moan. He could feel how wet you were for him already. You reached your hand down to rub small circles on your sensitive nub, desperate for the sensation.

As if he read your mind, Seokmin reached over into the drawer of the end table and pulled out the familiar foil package. A minute later, he was pulling the latex over his cock and you had taken your spot back on top of him. You rolled your hips against his thigh, working yourself up even more to be able to take him soon.

“Please, baby,” He growled as you grinded against his toned thigh, hearing you let out whines. “I need to be in you,” He continued, taking more control now and moving you so your core was lined up for him.

You nodded, confirming that you were ready for him. He pulled you forward, sinking you onto him. He hissed, feeling how molten your walls had become for him. He slowly began pumping and you started a rhythm with your hips meeting his, going faster with each pump.

Moans and whines echoed around the room as you chased your highs together. Hands found purchase wherever they could, his on your ass cheeks pulling you as close as possible and yours digging into his shoulders for leverage. The coil in the pit of your stomach stretched more and more until Seokmin whispered in your ear. “I’m close.”

His warm breath against the shell of your ear and the knowledge that he was going to come undone just for you almost made the coil snap. One more particularly deep thrust later, he came with a groan. The feeling of him twitching within you brought your orgasm along with his.

You collapsed on top of him as he slowly pulled out of you, chests heaving as you caught your breath. Your vision that had gotten a little fuzzy at the peak of your high was returning, rewarding you with a glimpse of Seokmin’s gentle smile. He pressed a kiss to your temple and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear before he rid himself of the condom, tossing it in the trash can.

You moved to lay down next to him, pressing yourself into his side. He turned over to face you, pulling the covers over you as he moved. His arms engulfed you, bringing you closer to his chest and he rested his chin against your cheek. As you snuggled underneath the covers with Seokmin, you knew there was no one else in the world you would want to see in your viewfinder.

©️wooahaeproductions

All works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works.

#seventeen smut #kvanity #svthub #ksmutsociety #kbookshelf #dk fanfic #dk smut #dk fluff #svt dk #svt lee seokmin #svt fluff #svt smut #dokyeom

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fairy-writes · 11 months

Note

FAIRY!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON 1K FOLLOWERS!! MAY MANY MORE COME!!! :O <3

May I request Edward Elric with the action propmpt 10? That would be awesome!! <3

APPLE PIES

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Fullmetal Alchemist

Pairing(s): Edward Elric x Gender Neutral!Reader

Prompt: Putting their head on their lover’s shoulder (Action Prompt #10)

Notes: POST-FMAB EVENTS

AND THANK YOU RU

This is for my 1K followers event! It’s going on between June 8th and June 22nd!

__________________________________________________________________________

Even after all Father had put you through, some things never changed.

That thing being Edward’s obnoxious love for apple pies.

Specifically Gracia’s recipe. She had been kind enough to gift you and Winry the recipe years ago. The scrap of paper was well-loved and worn out, stained with butter, and the writing barely legible. But that didn’t matter. You knew the recipe by heart after years of making it for your lover.

Your forearms were covered in flour, and you were pretty sure you had something on your face as you worked butter into your dry ingredients. Your hands felt sticky with dough, but you didn’t mind. This would make Edward happy, and that alone made your day.

It always did.

Especially after all he had gone through growing up and through his young adult life.

You cracked an egg on the corner of the bowl and added it to the dough mixture, mixing everything by hand until you had the consistency you wanted. It had grown warm in the process, so you stuck it in the ice box to chill for at least an hour while you got to work on the filling.

Two tablespoons of lemon juice. Nine apples peeled, cored, and sliced into wedges. Both went into a bowl with some sugar and tossed until combined. Then a skillet was turned on, and everything was put in with more butter and mixed until the apples were soft. The scent of fruit filled the air, making your mouth water, and you felt giddy at the idea of eating the dessert later.

You may not have been Edward, but you still loved a good apple pie now and then.

Just then, warm arms wrapped around your waist, and a chin was put on your shoulder.

“What are you making?” Came Edward’s voice, and you hummed, leaning your head on his as you tossed the apples once again in the skillet. The sugar was melting. It was almost time.

“Apple pie. You asked for one last week.” You said warmly and felt him grin as he turned his head to place a kiss where your shoulder met your neck.

“You remembered?” At this, you huff out a laugh,

“Have I ever forgotten something?” You say, and he thinks it over, pecking your cheek this time.

“No. It’s like Ling said. Something about elephants never forgetting. Wait, no—Alphonse said that in one of his letters. He’s studying them with May Chang in between alkahestry lessons.” He said, tapping his fingers against your waist.

You gently pry his arms away from around you, ignoring his whine, and go to pull the dough from the fridge, turning off the stovetop as you do so.

“Now that you’re here, you can help me.” You say, and he raises an eyebrow,

“You’re trusting me in the kitchen? I thought I was banned after Valentine’s Day.” He says but grabs an apron from where it’s hanging on the wall nonetheless. You hold a finger up, smearing some flour on his nose,

“I’m trusting you with supervision. Don’t think I’ll let you in the kitchen with anything less than that. Alphonse can cook better than you, and he didn’t even have a body growing up!”

Edward mutters under his breath, something about how “that isn’t fair,” but he smiles at you nonetheless when he notices you watching him tie the apron.

“Like what you see?” He teases, and you offer a mischievous grin. “I always do.” You retort and delight in the way his cheeks flush a pretty pink.

You quickly put Edward to work with the dough from the ice box. You carefully instruct him how to make pie crust and are actually rather impressed with how they turn out. Soon, you have two perfectly constructed pie crusts ready to be filled.

Maybe you can actually trust your lover in the kitchen. But then you remember the burnt attempt at breakfast from Valentine’s Day.

Like you had said before, he’s allowed in the kitchen with supervision.

You blink and are torn from your thoughts when something is smeared on your cheek. You look up from where you are preparing the second pie to see Edward with that grin of his that means he’s up to no good. Egg yolk is coating his finger, and you assume that’s what he just put on your face.

“You're supposed to be brushing the pie. Not my face.” You say, and he laughs.

It’s one of your favorite sounds in the world.

“Just seeing if you’re paying attention.” He says, and you smile. His own grin softens as you step into his side, wrapping a flour-stained hand around his waist.

“I love you, y’know?” You whisper, and he gently grasps your chin, turning you to face him, and kisses you so gently as if you’ll break. He tastes like stolen pie filling, but you don’t mind.

He’s so gentle with his love. He always has been.

It was one of the things you love about him.

And it was soft, domestic times like this that you treasured the most.

#edward elric x you #edward elric x reader #edward elric x y/n #fma edward x reader #fmab edward x reader #fma x reader #fma edward #fma edward elric #fmab edward #fmab edward elric #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist x reader #fairy writes #fairy 1000 followers

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daydreamtofiction · 4 months

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Thou Shalt Not Covet // 10: Baptism

Contents | Part 9 | First Person Version [AO3]

Summary: (Priest!Benedict x Female Reader) The morning after stirs up a new Ellis, one who returns home with a newfound fire.

Word Count: 4.8K

Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, religious imagery, sexual references, scenes of verbal & physical conflict. Readers must be 18+

"Shit."

You stirred slowly at the sound of Father Benedict's voice, his weight disappearing from beside you, making the mattress bounce and the bed frame creak.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit shit." The words left him in a panicked hiss, each utterance catching between his teeth.

You opened one eye, vision fuzzy in the dull morning light, too tired to make sense of what was happening. Why was he swearing? Had he already begun to regret what you'd done?

He hurried across the bedroom in a blur of bare skin and frantic whispers, hopping and stumbling into a pair of underpants as he made his way towards the window.

"What's wrong?" you croaked, watching as he craned around the curtain, peering down towards the ground outside.

A knock at the front door answered your question. He ducked down quickly, adjusting himself in his pants as he slowly rose back up again. Another knock.

"Fuck," he whispered. "Shit, fuck-"

"Father?" a distant voice called out. "Father, are you in there?"

"Is that June?" you asked quietly, eyes widening as you sat up and clutched the duvet to your bare chest, as though the sound of her voice alone was enough to make you feel indecent.

He groaned despairingly into his hands as she knocked again, calling out to him with concern through the letterbox.

"What's going on?" you whispered. "Why is she here?"

"Because I- shitting hell," he hissed. "I overslept."

"For what?"

"Morning bloody prayer. I can't believe I-" He stopped, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before unlatching the window and pushing it open. "June! June, up here," he shouted, waving down at her with an apologetic smile. "I am... so sorry, I- I wasn't feeling well last night and I've slept in."

"You slept in?" she replied. Her voice was faint, the wind carrying most of it away. "But I've already opened the church doors-"

"No, no that's fine. Really, I just have to get dressed and then I'll be there."

"Well people've already started arriving. What do I do in the meantime?"

"Tell her to try out some of her standup material," you muttered from the bed.

He choked back a laugh and swatted his hand at you, like a silent telling off. "Just-" He cleared his throat, taking a moment to straighten his face. "Just tell them I'm running late but shouldn't be more than a few minutes."

You weren't sure if she said anything else after that - the woman tended to mumble at the best of times - but the sound of her footsteps fading over the gravel driveway made it clear she was retreating.

Father Benedict shut the window and turned around, blowing out a puff of air as he leaned back against the wall. "I can't believe I overslept."

"You were up late, to be fair," you replied.

He allowed his eyes to wander, just for a moment, over the messy bed, your bare thigh peeking through a gap in the duvet. "Still," he began, shaking it away and rushing to the wardrobe. "I have a responsibility to my congregation, I can't just... not show up, it's..."

You sat quietly as he rummaged through his clothes, hanger hooks screeching as he moved them back and forth along the rail. He pulled out a shirt and shrugged it on, turning towards you as he buttoned it up.

"This isn't how I'd ideally have liked this morning to go. But I shouldn't be gone for more than a couple of hours," he said. "I lead prayer, then afterwards I host a small social meet for some elderly members, but it won't take long."

Your back straightened slightly. "Y-you... want me to stay here while you're gone?"

"Yeah," he replied casually as he grabbed a pair of trousers and stepped into them. "Unless- Do you have to be somewhere?"

"No- well, not until later."

"Okay. Just... help yourself to something to eat, preferably stay away from the windows-"

You giggled.

"And I'll drive you home when I get back."

"You really don't have to-"

"I want to."

You conceded, nodding softly and settling back against the headboard.

He pulled open a drawer and grabbed a pair of socks before hooking his fingers into his shoes and making his way towards the door. "Okay, back soon."

"You might want to fix your hair," you called out.

He stopped, turning back to look at you as he ran a hand through the wild locks. "Better?"

"It'll do."

You sat on the back doorstep of the rectory, warming your hands on a mug of tea as you watched your dress blowing on the washing line. Last night's storm had given way to a mild morning, but the wind still had a bite, making the dress flutter and dance in the air, the bright yellow fabric billowing like a flag at full mast. You never drank tea; why you'd chosen to make some now was a mystery. It just felt right, the kind of thing a normal person would do whilst they sat waiting for clothes to dry.

The garden was quaint and secluded, a boarder of thick bushes and tall trees beyond the mossy stone walls, enclosing the small pocket of green in total privacy. You sipped your tea as birds chirped and bounced from tree to tree, the smell of the toast you'd made still drifting out from the kitchen.

Maybe this kind of life wouldn't be so bad, you thought. You were sure you could learn to like tea, hang washing on the line every morning, make breakfast as birds sang beyond the garden wall. You could bake cakes for parish fundraisers, have a bunch of kids and give them 'sensible' names like Jacob or Charlotte, take them to mass every weekend, say grace around the dinner table. Maybe it wouldn't matter that you didn't actually believe in any of it, because once the church doors closed and the kids went to bed, it'd be just the two of you. And he already knew, but he wanted you anyway.

"God, Ellis, get a grip," you muttered. "One night together and suddenly you're the pastor's wife."

You rose to your feet, pausing on the doorstep to gaze up at a blanket of soft grey clouds rolling in overhead. It was going to rain again, you thought. You made your way back into the kitchen and tipped the last of the tea down the drain, swilling the mug with water and drying it with a tea towel. It was nice to see an empty sink; no plates covered in dried food, no wet, grimy sponges or wine glasses rimmed with Gina's lipstick.

Gina.

Your stomach turned at the thought of her; how she was probably at home right now waiting for you to come back, or maybe she didn't even care that you were gone. Could you even call that place home anymore? Home was supposed to be a sanctuary; a place of warmth, comfort, safety. Yet all that house seemed to be was a collection of closed doors, strangers with familiar faces and rooms you never spent time in.

The sound of the front door latch made you still, a click followed by a creak, footsteps moving through the house towards you. For a moment you worried it may not be him, how you would explain why you were there, alone, wearing clothes that didn't belong to you. But the fear was fleeting, quelling instantly when a deep, rich voice chimed from the living room.

"Ellis? Are you still here?"

"Yeah, I'm in here," you replied.

He stepped halfway through the door with a smile; the same smile you'd come to look forward to whenever you arrived at church. It was charming, gracious, every inch of his face brightening the moment he laid eyes on you. You smiled back, though you weren't sure you could ever produce an expression as naturally warm as his.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

"Look what I found." He moved further into the kitchen, revealing a small leather handbag dangling by its strap over his index finger.

He handed it to you with a smile and you thanked him in a relieved sigh, making your way to the kitchen table and unzipping it with haste. He pulled out the chair beside you and sat down too, stealing a piece of half-eaten toast from the plate you'd left on the table and munching on it quietly as he watched you.

You took out your phone, tapping your thumbs with futility against the shiny black screen. "Dead," you said. "Thought as much."

"I think I have a charger somewhere if-"

"Nah it's okay. Haven't paid my phone bill so it makes no difference anyway."

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head as he swept the crumbs off his hands. "Do you want to use my phone?"

"You have a phone?"

"Why wouldn't I have a phone?"

"I don't know, just hard to imagine a priest... texting."

"I text."

You couldn't help the amusement creeping across your face, the thought of his name popping up on your screen; what would you save him as? Ben? Father Benedict? Perhaps just Father would suffice. Daddy?- No, Ellis.

"Do you think priests take vows to live like it's the 1800's or something?" he asked.

You shrugged. "I just assumed if you needed to use a phone you'd have one of those old rotary ones or something."

"Oh my god." He laughed, too amused to notice the blasphemous slip.

You slid the phone back into your bag and dragged the zip closed slowly, watching each metal tooth knit together with far more focus than the task required.

He stopped laughing and cocked his head, eyes darting over your face. "Are you alright?"

"Hm?"

"You. Are you okay?"

You remained quiet for a moment, chewing the inside of your cheek in thought. "Y'know I've never liked that question. It's too broad, don't you think? Makes my brain feel all jumbled."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, okay in what sense? Physically? Mentally? Right this minute or in life in general?" You relaxed slightly into the back of your chair. "Sometimes, people don't even actually want to know how you are at all, they're just saying it instead of 'hello'..."

A smile curled slightly at one side of his mouth. "Well I actually want to know how you are."

"In which way?"

"Let's go with all of them. How are you? In every iteration."

"Hm. Well, physically, I'm tired, a little sore, my foot is killing me. But emotionally I feel... weirdly calm; like last night changed something in me. But I'm not necessarily sure that's a bad thing."

"You feel different?"

"Yeah. Don't you?"

He let his head fall slightly to one side, his gaze turning distant, just for a moment. "No." He shook his head, focusing his attention back on you. "Honestly, I thought I would. I went to sleep last night convinced I'd wake up full of regret and shame and- no offence-"

"Mm," you replied sarcastically.

"But I didn't. I still felt... like me. Like nothing's changed."

"Even after all that sinning you did?" you joked. "You sinned a lot, father."

He dropped his head to hide a smirk. "Hey, what happens in the rectory stays in the rectory."

Your shoulders shook with a chuckle, making him smile.

"I like it when you laugh," he said softly. "You don't do it enough."

You glanced across at him; at those sea foam eyes, so striking against the tired red of their waterlines.

"I have a stupid laugh," you replied quietly.

He smiled, shifting in his seat to move himself closer, his body leaning in slowly towards you. "You have a lovely laugh."

It was strange, how even after a night like last night - after growing so familiar with the intricacies of his body and submitting yours so willingly to him - the sight of his face edging closer, lips parting gently in anticipation, was still so butterfly-inducing.

You'd resigned yourself to the idea that you'd never get to kiss him again, that when the sun rose that morning, all of the intimacy you'd shared would be washed away with last night's storm. Yet here you were, gazing at him through heavy lashes, your focus rolling slowly back and forth between his eyes and mouth as you sat perfectly still, letting him come to you. Closer and closer until you couldn't see anything but him, couldn't hear anything besides your own heartbeat, the gentle pattering of rain against the kitchen window.

Rain.

"Oh, shit!" You jumped up quickly and bolted to the back door, throwing it open and hurrying over the grass towards the washing line.

You were back in the dress, although you weren't sure it resembled sunshine much anymore. There were patches that hadn't fully dried, smudges of dirt from holding your shoes in your lap, and a small bloodstain on the skirt. Yesterday, you'd felt pretty when you put it on. Today, you hadn't even dared glance at your own reflection.

Father Benedict turned the heat up in the car, sliding the vents to point the warm air in your direction. You were thankful for it, relaxing back into the seat and staring out the window as he drove, slowing for a red light almost as soon as he pulled out of the church grounds.

"So where are you going to say you were last night?" he asked.

You could tell the question had been itching to get out, dancing on his tongue until he finally found the right moment to let it spill.

"I haven't thought about it," you replied. "Suppose it's none of their business where I was."

"What if anyone else asks?"

You narrowed your eyes at him, sensing there was a specific answer he wanted to hear, one that would free the tension he'd been holding in his shoulders since he'd got behind the wheel.

"I'm not going to tell anyone what happened, Father," you finally replied, trying your best to make your voice sound soft, reassuring, trustworthy.

He glanced over at you for a second before fixing his gaze back on the road, the light finally turning green again.

"Thank you," he said. "I mean, it's not that I- I'm not saying I want to pretend this never happened or anything. I just..."

"Want to pretend this never happened."

He laughed gently through his nose. "No. I just need to figure out the best way to navigate through-"

"Navigate," you groaned teasingly. "God, you sound like an internet life coach."

He rolled his eyes. "Navigate is a perfectly normal word."

"It's a fluffer. You're fluffing up the point you're trying to make."

He looked at you again, longer this time. "Alright. I don't want to give up my priesthood."

"I know. I never expected you would."

"It's who I am. My faith, it's... such an integral part of me. And that's not me saying last night wasn't also me. I just... You've thrown some things into question, made me act in ways that definitely wouldn't go down well if the church found out."

"I made you?"

He smirked. "Mhm, all your fault."

You turned back to the window, biting your lip to suppress a smile. "At least you won't have to deal with me hanging around the church anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I admitted I lied. I'm just a big fat nonbeliever. No reason for me to attend services anymore."

He paused in thought, steering the car smoothly with his large, agile hands. The movement made you shiver; the sight of his fingers curling around the wheel, the protruding knuckles and prominent veins, even more attractive now you knew what it felt like to have them on you.

"So does that mean you won't be coming to help out on Thursday?" he asked, entirely oblivious to your ogling.

"Thursday?"

"The communion session."

You closed your eyes, letting out a long, exasperated exhale. "Shit," you whispered. "I forgot about that."

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," he said. "I can make do-"

"No, no, I offered to help out."

With every traffic light, every turn of a corner and familiar street, you felt the tension turning your limbs to stone. Nerves flooded your stomach at the thought of walking back into that house, confronting the people you somehow wanted to slap and thank at the same time.

Father Benedict bumped the kerb gently, rolling to a stop beside the front gate. He pulled the handbrake, the car plummeting into silence as he switched off the engine, the only sound coming from your deep intake of breath, the sigh that left you as you turned your head to face him.

You took a moment to look at him, to let your eyes skim over every line and curve of his face. You would see him again, of course you would, but not like this.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" he asked.

You nodded, allowing a quick smile before grabbing your bag and the straps of your shoes.

"Ellis..."

You glanced back up to find him staring straight ahead through the windshield, head tipped back slightly against the headrest.

"I meant what I said last night." He didn't look at you. "You shouldn't let anyone who isn't worthy go near you again."

It made everything feel more real, somehow, hearing those words repeated without the cloud of heat and lust surrounding you.

"Promise me," he said, finally making eye contact.

"I promise." The words left you in an awkward stammer, mouth moving before your brain had a chance to catch up.

You undid your seatbelt and reached for the door handle, the hinges groaning and grinding as you pushed your elbow against the door, always forgetting how stiff it was until you found yourself fighting to open it.

You leaned all of your weight into it, but it didn't budge. "It's jammed," you said. "Like actually jammed this time."

He sighed and unclipped his seatbelt. "Honestly, this piece of shit car," he mumbled as he leaned over to help.

His body was stretched across yours, so close you could see the muscles straining in his neck, feel the warmth of his breath on your skin. You pressed your back into the seat to give him more room, watching his throat bob with a hard swallow as he pushed on the door, finally getting it to open.

"There we are," he groaned.

"Thanks," you said softly.

He looked at you, still leant over your body, eyes falling to your chest as it rose and fell with slow, heavy breaths. And when his gaze snapped back up to meet yours, there was an entirely different expression on his face.

"Alfie!" Gina's voice screeched in the distance, turning the heat between you ice cold.

You turned to see her on the front doorstep of the house, her panic and anger clear despite the distance between you.

"Alfie! It's Ellis, she's back!"

You sighed and climbed out of the car, closing the door behind you with your hip.

"Where the fuck have you been!?"

You didn't answer her, walking barefoot over the pavement towards the gate, barely getting it open before Alfie appeared at her side. He pushed past her, steam practically rising from the top of his head as he came bounding down the path towards you.

"What the fuck are you playing at, Ellis!?" he shouted.

You'd never seen him like this before, so aggressive in his movements, clenched teeth and balled fists, the fury palpable beneath his skin.

"Just disappearing like that!? Not answering your phone all night!? Do you know how fucking worried we've been!? We were this close to calling the fucking police!-"

He stopped a few feet away from you, his focus shifting to the tall figure emerging from the car. His brow furrowed, eyes narrowing as he watched Father Benedict approaching.

"Don't I know you...?" he muttered in confusion.

"It's the vicar," Gina called out, hurrying down the path.

"Priest," you corrected bluntly.

"Really, Ellis?" Alfie snarled. "Is this a fucking joke!? I've been up all night with no idea where you were, and you've been with him!?"

He marched angrily towards you, stopping suddenly when Father Benedict stepped in the way.

"Whoa there," your priest said calmly, voice so deep it was almost inaudible.

Alfie took a breath, back straightening as he glared at the man in front of him. "What? You think I was going to hit her?" He sneered in genuine offence. "What kind of man do you think I am?"

"Probably best I don't answer that question," Father Benedict quipped.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just calm down and go inside," said Gina, grabbing Alfie by the sleeve of his shirt.

He shrugged her off. "No. I want to know who the fuck this guy thinks he is."

"He's the guy who let me sleep on his couch when I said I didn't want to come home," you said. "Because I caught my boyfriend fucking my best friend, in case you'd forgot that part."

"Oh of course you're piping up now you've got this dick head sticking up for you."

Father Benedict smiled, which only seemed to irritate him more.

"What's a priest doing getting all pally with some random woman who doesn't even believe in God anyway? It's fucking creepy, you're a fucking creep." He pointed his finger in his face, spitting the words at him.

"Put the finger down," he said calmly.

"What? This?" He began pushing it hard into his chest, poking and prodding him roughly.

"Oh Alfie, grow up," you said.

"I understand you've been worried about her," said Father Benedict, gripping him firmly by the wrist to stop the childish assault. "But taking your anger out on me isn't going to solve anything. I was just dropping her home."

"Do you want a medal?" He snatched his hand away. "Want me to thank you for harbouring her in your house while I worried sick all night?"

You couldn't help but scoff. "I wouldn't have left in the first place if you hadn't been sleeping with-"

"You shut-"

It all happened so fast you barely had time to react; Alfie turning towards you, pointing in your face as he took another quick, belligerent step forward. Father Benedict intercepting with a swift swing of his arm, his fist cracking against the side of his face and knocking him to the ground.

You took a sharp breath, somewhere between a gasp and a choke, watching as Gina dropped to her knees at Alfie's side with a panicked yell. Father Benedict sucked in the air through his teeth, hissing as he shook his hand, a pained expression scrunching his nose.

"Oh my god," you breathed, grabbing him by the upper arms and pulling him back, dragging him over to the car.

"Fuck sake," he whispered, opening and closing his fist.

"I can't believe you just did that."

"I'm so sorry, I just- I thought he was going to-"

"What the fuck!?" Gina shouted. "Aren't you supposed to be a fucking pacifist or some shit!?"

Alfie groaned, pushing her hands away as she tried to examine his face.

"Just go inside, Gina, Jesus Christ!" you shouted.

You took his hand in yours and he let you hold it for a moment, looking over the grazes on his knuckles in stunned silence. "It's okay, I'm alright," he said, gently pulling away and shaking it out again.

"You prick," Alfie spat as he clambered to his feet.

You sighed, nodding towards the car. "You should go."

He hesitated, eyes darting between his hand and the face he'd just pummelled with it.

"I'll be fine," you insisted. "Honestly. He's a dick but he wouldn't hurt me."

"Forgive me for finding that hard to believe."

"He wouldn't, I swear. I just want to go upstairs, get a shower, get my stuff together. I'll be alright."

There was a deep, reluctant rumble in his throat before he finally gave in, turning to make his way to the driver's side door. You exhaled a shaking breath, crossing your arms over your chest as you watched him get in, trying to ignore the chaos still erupting behind you.

He got in the car and shut the door, concern etched between his brows as he looked at you through the passenger window. You gave a reassuring smile and waved him off, stepping back through the gate.

"Wait, Ellis," he called as he rolled down the window and leaned over. "Here."

You walked closer, plucking a small piece of paper from his outstretched fingers.

"If you need me," he said simply.

You looked down at the paper as the car rolled away, a mobile number scribbled hastily across it, 'I text' written below. You laughed to yourself and closed your fist around it, turning on your sore, bare heels and making your way up the path towards the house.

You'd made it halfway upstairs when you heard the front door slam behind you, the sound of footsteps hurrying after you.

"Wait, Ellis," Gina barked. "Do you not think we need to talk!?"

You spun around, looking down at her as she followed you. "No, I don't."

"I'm pressing charges on him," said Alfie.

"He was protecting me," you replied angrily. "He thought you were about to hit me."

"Look, I don't care about what happened out there," said Gina.

"I fucking do," Alfie mumbled.

"We need to talk about yesterday."

You rolled your eyes and continued up the stairs. "You mean when I walked in on you screwing my boyfriend?"

"Ellis-"

"How long? Actually, y'know what? I don't care. You're welcome to him. I was done anyway."

"What?" Alfie shouted, jogging up to catch you.

You walked down the landing to your bedroom, turning just before you reached the door. "I was done. With us."

He pushed past Gina, making his way towards you. There was a bright red mark on the side of his face, a cut on his lip and blood smeared around his nostril. You almost felt bad for him, but then he spoke.

"You are fucking him, aren't you!"

You sighed, opening the door and stepping into your room. "What are you-"

"The priest! That's where you were last night, that's why he just punched me in the face like some fucking yob in a nightclub-"

"Anything to make yourself feel better about what you did, Alfie."

You slid open a drawer and pulled out a towel, wedging it under your arm as you fished for some clean clothes.

"You're not denying it," he said from the doorway.

"I have denied it, you just don't want to listen."

"Bullshit. You've been acting different ever since you started going to that church. I knew there had to be a reason for it. It's not normal, Ellis! And I don't buy for one second you've just made innocent pals with that guy. It's- It's weird! Leaving me here so you can go and spend time with that-"

"Do you know what, fine. Yeah, I slept with him," you began, walking towards him. "And do you know something else? He was better, and bigger, and more skilled than you could ever hope to be."

He swallowed, his face hard and unamused, eyes scanning your face in an attempt to figure out if you were lying or not.

You came face-to-face with him, leaning in to speak slowly and quietly. "He made me come so hard he had to cover my mouth just to keep me quiet."

You elbowed past him, leaving him speechless behind you.

"Ellis," said Gina, standing in the way of the bathroom. "I just want to talk-"

"I don't have anything to say," you interrupted bluntly. "Our entire friendship has just been you keeping me around to make yourself feel better. Patronising me, infantilising me, making me feel so wildly uncomfortable about who I am. You've made it very clear you can have any man you want, yet you decided to fuck mine. All because I stood up to you at the christening, made you feel stupid for half a fucking second."

She shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes. "It's not like that."

You stepped around her, pushing into the bathroom.

"I think I actually have feelings for him, Ellis."

"Of course you do. And you know what? Congratulations. I'm glad it's you he'll be flailing about on top of instead of me."

Her jaw sharpened, teeth grinding behind pursed lips. "Y'know... I think you should probably look for somewhere else to live..."

You gave a dry laugh. "Shags my boyfriend then kicks me out. Classic Gina."

You slammed the door and locked it, letting your forehead rest against the wood for a moment as you caught your breath. That was so unlike you. All of it. The harshness, the sarcasm, the honesty. It felt good. So why were you trembling?

You stripped off your dress and sat on the edge of the bath, gently peeling away the dressing from the sole of your foot. It didn't look as bad as it felt, the dried blood covering a small slice, the skin around it darkening with a bruise.

You turned on the shower, holding your hand beneath the water until it warmed up, watching the stream run off the tips of your fingers like ribbons. This water was going to cleanse you; wash away the dirt and sweat and rain, the anger, the shame. You were going to scrub it all away and step out anew.

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didhewinkback · 7 months

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something old teeny tiny blurb bc dogs

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December 2022

Thank god it’s Friday, you think, trying to balance your bag, the massive amount of takeout you're holding and your keys as you slide them into the lock to finally get home after a loooong week. Does it make you officially old that those cliches now ring true more than ever? Gross.

You’re in the process of trying to place all your shit down in a semi organized manner when you feel your phone buzz, a smile growing on your face the moment you see the name on the screen as you slide your thumb across to answer.

“Hey,” you say, adjusting the phone on your shoulder as you kick your shoes off and slide your jacket off your shoulders.

“Sorry my meeting ran long, love. Was hoping to pick you up from work.” He says, as the sounds of the city blare behind him on whatever street he was walking down. “Wanted to be a proper gentleman.”

“First time for everything,” you deadpanned.

“Heeey.” He says with a laugh. “Did you get dinner or do you need me to pick it up?”

“I got it,” you say, quickly speaking when you hear his intake of breath. “If you dare ask me if I remembered to order you spring rolls I swear -“

“She knows me too well.” he says with a laugh.

“That she does.” you say, grabbing the takeaway and bringing it into the kitchen, flicking the lights on as you pass. “You heading back now?”

“Yeah should be home in about - oh helllo there” his voice taking on an exaggerated playful tilt. You’re momentarily confused until you hear a soft bark. Ah. “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?”

“Sorry about her - she’s a real people pleaser” you hear a voice say a bit breathlessly in the background as Harry laughs.

“It’s quite alright,” he says back, and you hear some slight shuffling on his end. “Is it okay if I pet her? What’s her name?”

You lean against the counter, listening on as he makes small conversation while cooing at the dog, Delilah, for a few minutes before there’s the sound of shuffling again as he says his goodbyes.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” he says back to you. “Think I want one.”

“Not sure a puppy would be the best companion on a world tour.”

“Thank you, genius, that much I know.” he says as you snort a laugh. “But I’ve been thinking a lot about like…after.”

“Have you?” you ask, your heart skipping a beat, thinking back to the conversation you had back in June, about what he wanted, what you wanted, what you both agreed was worth waiting for. You shift your weight, butterflies flying in your stomach. “And?”

“Just…it’s going to be different, y’ know? Not going to be doing a few months in LA, then a few months in Japan then back to London for a kip. And I don’t want to. Planning on settling in one spot for as long as I can.”

“Something drawing you back to London, then?”

“Something like that,” he muses and you feel your cheeks warm, biting down on a smile. “And I think it’d be quite nice to have a pup that’s ours keeping her company when I would have to eventually go back.”

“I could get on board with that,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady despite the way your heart is racing, his words making you want to melt into a puddle right there on the kitchen floor.

“Yeah?” he says softly.

“Yeah.” you say back and the two of you sit in silence for a moment, just listening to the sounds of each other breathing. “How far away are you?”

“About 10 minutes out.”

“Alright, I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick -”

“I’ll be home in 2.”

“You’re such an idiot,” you laugh, knowing he’s kidding but you can hear the way his breathing changes, the way he’s definitely picked up the pace. “I’ll see you soon, yeah? Love you.”

“Love you. I’ll be home soon, baby. Keep the shower warm.”

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a/n: i have a few requests coming and the big one but saw these pics and couldnt resist

taglist:@tobesolovelysstuff, @louyoursins, @daydreamingofmatilda, @jojo-blog53, @marzhshaim, @devilsqueen722, @just-happiness-only,@lomlhstyles, @feestyles, @spock4presidnet, @sunshinemoonsposts, @indierockgirrl, @jerseygirlinca, @kissitnhekitchen, @goldnrry,

#something old #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #let me knoooow what ya think !

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callsign-magnolia · 11 months

Text

Undiagnosed // Ch. 10

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, trauma response, abusive parents.

Word Count: 6.0k

Chapter 9 | Masterlist

A few weeks go by, May is over and we were diving headfirst into June. After my eye appointment Jake took me to the bookstore, where we bought a few books that I had been wanting and then we went home. I immediately got online and started looking for frames for my glasses. I scrolled and scrolled for a few days until I came across those same Kate Spade glasses I saw on display. I went to scroll past them when I saw they were on a massive sale. They were originally two hundred and sixty dollars, but they were marked down to one hundred and ten online. That's the average price for glasses, but I bit my lip looking at them. I couldn't ask Jake for these even if they were on sale. "Find some you like?" I jumped, losing my grip on my phone as Jake startled me from behind. "Jake! God, don't scare me like that." I said, my hand over my heart as I leaned back into the couch. He just laughed, coming around and sitting next to me. Before he was even completely sitting, he snatched my phone, looking at the frames. "These are nice." He said, looking at them.

"Yeah but they're too expensive." I responded and he scoffed. "One ten isn't bad, darlin'. I was doing some research and saw the average was two hundred dollars.” He looked through everything on the glasses before turning to me. “There.” He said as he handed me my phone. I looked down and saw he had ordered them. “What if those weren’t the ones I wanted?” I asked and he laughed. “I saw you lookin’ at them at the doctor’s office darlin’. You wanted them.” With that he disappeared into the kitchen. I sighed, relaxing back into the couch as I looked at my phone. I felt bad because Jake has dropped a lot of money on me in the past few days, I had to figure out a way to pay him back. Of course, with no money that’s near impossible. So I would have to do something else. I thought about it for a while before figuring out a plan. While he was at work that week, I made sure the house was spotless, I did his laundry, made his bed and was prepping dinner by the time he got home. The first day he thanked me and was so pleased. But after a few weeks he came into my room after dinner, leaning on my door frame as he watched me put lotion on my legs. “Can I talk to you?” He asked and immediately my heart started pounding in my chest. “Um, yeah.” I put my lotion down and he came, sitting on my bed, looking at me.

“Why are you doing all this stuff?” He asked and I furrowed my brows. “The cleaning?” “And the cooking, and doing my laundry, and making my bed.” I frowned, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Do you not want me to do that?” He sighed, flopping back on my bed. “I appreciate it, I really do. But it’s every day. Isn't there something else you'd rather spend your day doing?" He asked. I sighed, looking at the few books he bought me. I was halfway through one and I knew if I read all day I’d have the entire stack finished in two weeks. Then Jake would feel like he had to buy me more books. Television isn’t really doing it for me, and you can only watch so many movies. “Honestly?” He nodded. “Honestly.” I sighed, hugging my knees tighter. “Yeah. But I can’t think of much other than reading and it sucks when you finish a book so fast.” He stared at me and I felt like he could read me as easily as flight patterns. “But… you’ve also spent so much money on me lately and I don’t have money to pay you back so I thought I would do things for you.” He sighed, his eyes turning to look at the ceiling. “Darlin’, you don’t have to pay me back for any of this.” I shook my head. “Jake, you signed up to help me get out, not take care of me.” He chuckled, rolling onto his side and propping his head on his fist. My eyes drifted and I couldn’t help but notice his bulging biceps. “Katie.” He said, my eyes meeting his. “Darlin,” He smiled at me. “I don’t care about taking care of you. I’m happy to do it if it means you don’t have to go back to that house of horrors.” I smiled at him. “Thank you.” I whispered and he smiled at me. “Okay. Well I’m gonna go to bed, I’m exhausted.” I nodded as he stood before leaning over and kissing my head. “Night, darlin’.” He said before walking out. “Night, Jake.”

A week later my glasses came in and I was excited when Jake pulled the box from the mailbox, and handed it to me. “Oh my god!” I squealed, excited to be able to see clearly again. I rushed inside, setting the box on the counter and searching for the scissors. “Dammit! Where are they?” I called out and I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I turned to see Jake, scissors in hand as he grinned at me. “Ah! Thank you!” I said, yanking the scissors from his hand and practically tearing the box apart. “I’ve never seen someone so excited for glasses.” I laughed at his words. “Well I have pretty shitty eyesight, so I’m excited to see clearly again.” I said, reaching into the box of packing peanuts and pulling out my new glasses. “HA!” I yelled, quickly cleaning the little bits of foam off the lenses. I slid them on and it took my eyes a second to adjust after going a few weeks without glasses but finally I could see. “Well?” He asked and I looked at him. Finally from a distance I could see him so clearly. “They’re great! I can finally see!” I looked out the kitchen window to the backyard. “Nice to know the leaves are still individual and not giant green blobs.” He laughed as he looked out the window with me. “Is your eyesight really that bad?” He asked and I pulled my glasses off, holding them out to him. “It’s not the worst eyesight ever but anything two feet in front of me and past that is blurry.” I told him and he held my glasses up to his face. “Oh my god that is blurry.” He said and I laughed, taking my glasses back. “So you can see why I’m happy to have glasses again.”

Another two weeks after that I had my first therapy session after Jake got off work and I lost track of time again and had to rush to get ready. Once again I tossed on a dress, some sandals, my hair was in a bun and I had no makeup. I grabbed my purse, rushing downstairs as Jake waited for me. “Come on. I can’t be late! God, of course I would make myself late.” I said as I rushed by him. “Katie, hang on.” He said, following me. “Did you not just hear me? I’m running behind, no thanks to my shitty time management skills.” I said, getting in the truck. Jake huffed, getting in beside me. I was a nervous wreck for this. Bradley has tried all week to calm me down and it did in the moment, then the nerves would creep back in. “Katie, can we talk?” I sighed, taking deep breaths and tried not to snap at him. “Jake.” I said as my voice broke and tears filled my eyes. “I am trying not to freak out right now. Could we talk after my session?” I asked and he gave me a small smile, nodding. “Yeah,” His voice was soft as he reached over the console, grabbing my hand and holding our intertwined fingers on it. “We can talk after.”

The rest of the ride was quiet but as Jake’s thumb rubbed my knuckles I calmed a little. But as soon as he let go and threw the truck in park, the nerves were back as I stared up at the tall building. I managed to get out and walk around the truck, heading for the door but I stopped short. My hand clutched the leather straps of my purse as it sat on my shoulder. Could I really do this? Tell a complete stranger everything that’s happened to me? Especially within the last few months? Well, I guess Jake was a complete stranger once. “Want me to go in with you?” I turned to see Jake leaning out the window of his truck. I sighed defeatedly. “Would you?” He smiled, rolling up the window and getting out. “C’mon.” He said, holding out his hand for me. “Thank you.” I said as I took his hand and walked inside. We took the elevator up to the eighth floor and down the hall to Dr. Davis’ office. We walked in and I smiled at the receptionist. “Hi, my name is Katie Blair. I have an appointment with Dr. Davis.” The lady hummed and typed on her keyboard. “Fill this out and have a seat.” She said in a bland tone. I gave her a small nod and took the clipboard, following Jake to some empty seats. We sat down and I looked at the clipboard. There was so much they needed to know, it was a little overwhelming. I eventually filled out everything I knew but when it came to things like insurance, I was stuck. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “I uh- I don’t have insurance and I don’t really know what to put.” I said and he leaned over, looking. “Here. Self-pay.” I checked the little box and sat back.

He squinted at the paper that had my name on it. “Why does that name look familiar?” He asked. “Probably because it’s mine.” I sassed and he chuckled, nudging me. “Haha. No, I mean your first and middle name. Katie Scarlett.” I sighed, scrunching my nose at his question. “Ever seen Gone With The Wind?” It was my mother’s favorite movie, and of course. “No!” He gasped. “She didn’t.” I nodded. “If my last name had been O’Hara she would’ve kept me in corsets and hoop skirts.” He chuckled. “Well I like your name.” I nodded. “I do too. I think it’s pretty, just wish she had been more creative.” I said before getting up and walking over to the reception desk. “Here’s this.” She hummed, scowling at me as she looked up at me over the tops of her glasses. “For the record. You were late.” I bit my lip. My appointment was at four-thirty and we got into the office at four-thirty three. “Dr. Davis does not accept late patients.” My heart leapt into my throat. I got lucky with this early opening, they were booked out eight months otherwise. “Leave her alone Kathy.” A voice behind me spoke. “Hi, I’m Dr. Davis.” She held out her hand for me to shake. She was a little shorter than me, long dark brown hair and glasses on her face. She had to be about my mother’s age. And that worried me, what if she didn’t understand? “I-I’m Katie.” She smiled at me. “Well Katie, if you’re ready we can go into my office.” My gaze immediately shifted to Jake and he gave me a small smile. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.” I smiled at him and followed Dr. Davis into her office before she closed the door behind us. “Have a seat. Want some water?” At her question I realized my throat would dry. “Yes, please.”

I sat in one of the comfy looking chairs she had in her office as she grabbed a bottle from the mini fridge and handed it to me. “You look lovely.” She complimented, sitting across from me. “Oh, uh thank you. I look like a wreck though. No makeup, my hair is pulled up and I just grabbed something from my closet.” I said and she nodded. “You still look beautiful.” My face flushed and she narrowed her eyes at me. “My mother always told me I had to be well put together to be beautiful.” She hummed, writing something down on her notepad. “Why don’t you tell me about your mother.” She asked and I took a deep breath. “She’s not a good person.” She nodded, writing stuff down. “And why is that?” I was a little agitated but I knew she had to ask. “I never remember her being necessarily kind to me. When I was little she had me in beauty pageants, my talent was a gymnastics routine and I was good at it. I would come in first almost every time and she would be so proud.” I said as tears gathered in my eyes. “I was seven and she set up my equipment. I threw a backhandspring on the balance beam, fell off and somehow snapped my femur in half.” She nodded. “That must have been painful.” I pursed my lips. “It was.” My hand fell to my leg, something I haven’t done in years. “I felt it immediately, my thigh was curved medially.” I said, using my hand to curve away from my body all the way down to my knee which pointed inwards. “I cried. God did I cry. Everyone panicked and one father was a medic and rushed over. But just before that I remember my mom telling me to shut up and not grab attention. But as soon as he came over, she was the worried mother, crying over her child's pain.”

She hummed, passing me a box of tissues. “That makes you mad?” “No shit it makes me mad.” I snapped before taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” She shook her head with a smile. “No, that’s good. You should be mad. Tell me more.” I nodded. “Um, I couldn’t make friends. My mother tried to tell me we were better than everyone, but it never stuck. I was a social child, I loved talking to people and making friends but as soon as I would really get to know someone, form a bond we would move. Eventually I just stopped trying and before I knew it, totally isolated.” I said, wanting to pull my knees up to my chest, but I was in a dress and that’s not lady like. “They wanted me to go to law school. So I did.” She hummed. “And how was that?” “Awful. I was the freak of the school. I get excited about things that no one else seems to care about.” She hummed again. “Like what?” I bit my lip, looking down. “Um, I used to have some fish and I would constantly talk to anyone about them that would listen.” I started pulling on my thumbs. “What were their names?” She asked and I couldn’t help the smile on my face. “Um, splish and splash were my two goldfish, Georgie was my guppy, Simon was an angelfish and then Ripley was a neon tetra.” She smiled at me. “Do you have a picture?” I nodded enthusiastically. When I got into my old backup account I saved a few pictures of my fish as well. I just couldn’t go without pictures of them. “Oh my, they’re so pretty.” She said, adjusting her glasses and I grinned. “Thank you.” I said, putting my phone back in my purse.

“What happened to them?” My breath caught in my throat, not expecting her to be so direct. I thought back to how angry my dad was and a chill ran down my spine. “I was supposed to be studying, but I had done it so much I just wanted to read my book.” She raised a brow but nodded. “My dad was already mad and when he saw I wasn’t studying, he got even more angry and swiped all my old pageant trophies off my dresser. He said I was lazy and stupid and told me I would be nothing without him. He tipped over my bookshelf, trashed my CD’s and when I told him I didn’t need him, he ripped my glasses from my face.” Her eyes were wide as she stared at me before writing in her notes. “Go on.” She motioned me to continue. “He told me if I wasn’t going to use my glasses to study, I must not need them. Then he took one of my textbooks and crushed them on my desk.” Her jaw was practically on the floor as I went on. “He threw me into the table that held my fish tank and he said he was sick of them, so he launched the book into the side of the tank. It shattered and they all flooded out onto the floor. They flopped around and I put them in a container of water, but none of them survived.” Tears filled my eyes at the memory. “Then he told me to get the hell over it and to clean up the mess.”

“Katie. That’s abuse.” I nodded. “I know that now.” She sighed, taking a breath. “Anything else?” I hummed. “Can I just tell you recent stuff?” She nodded. “Not long before my dad killed my fish, my friend Jake, the one out in the waiting room, came over and helped me clean my fish tank and my parents came home early.” I thought back to the angry look on my fathers face. “As soon as the door shut, he grabbed me by my hair, dragged me from where I was standing in the tub, and threw me to the floor. Jake didn’t leave the house, he just closed the door but he was still there.” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “I managed to get him to leave just as my dad pulled off his belt and started hitting me.” She just seemed shocked by everything I was saying. “That’s not even the worst.” I said and she sighed. “Katie. We don’t have to go over everything today. We can do another session.” I shook my head. “I really wanna get this out.” She nodded again and got comfortable in her chair. “The day after my dad killed my fish, I ran off with Jake to his house. But I panicked and thought my dad would ruin his life so I went back.” She furrowed her brows. “How would your dad ruin Jake’s life?” She asked. “Jake is a Lieutenant in the navy. My dad is his Fleet Commander.” She hummed. “And how high in rank is Fleet Commander?” I chuckled, leaning my head back on the chair. “The highest. It’s the equivalent of an Army General. He is the person with the most control.” She hummed. “What happened when you went back?”

“They tricked me.” She raised her brows in surprise. “They pretended like they knew they did wrong, and even apologized and told me they loved me.” It was silent for a moment as tears fell down my face. “That’s the first time I remember them saying they loved me… and it was a lie.” My voice broke as I grabbed a tissue. “I woke up the next morning to a lock outside my door. They locked me in and told me I was never coming back out.” She stared at me in shock. “How long were you locked in there?” I sighed. “A week. It was a Saturday when my mom made me get up and put me in the shower for the first time. She did my hair and I did my makeup before she put me in a white dress and locked me in again. She told me I had to look perfect for who they were bringing over.” I said as I wiped my eyes again. “I overheard them when they walked past the door. My mom said she didn’t care what these people did with me once I was out of her house.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “How did you get out?” She asked, concern lacing her voice. “They left and I kind of panicked. The door was locked, my windows were nailed shut, and I had no phone. But I sat against my bed and looked over at my desk. There was a curled cord hanging out of one of the drawers.” I chuckled. “It was my old landline, and thankfully my parents still had service running through the house. So I plugged in the phone jack and it worked. I called Jake and him and a few friends came in to get me out.” She gave me a small smile. “Sounds like great friends.”

“They really are. Jake is letting me live with him now, but I feel so lost. I told him I would get a job but he offered for me to live there and go to nursing school. My mother always controlled my life, now that I got away. I don’t really know what to do.” She slapped her notepad down on the arm of her chair and leaned forward with a wide grin. “Do something for yourself.” I took a deep breath. “I came to therapy.” I gave her a smile and she chuckled. “Do something else.” I pursed my lips, thinking about what I could do. “Can I give a suggestion?” I nodded, feeling like a little guidance would help. “Go to nursing school.” My eyebrows shot up. “Really?” She nodded enthusiastically. “You have someone letting you live in their house rent free. Going to school, and working to pay bills would be so difficult. You are in a very good situation right now and you need to take advantage of it.” I nodded, biting my lip. “I’ll think about it.” She nodded. “Good.” We spoke a little more about our next steps in therapy and my mother’s voice in my head. By the end of my session I felt a little better and we stood. “I would really like to try EMDR with you. I think it could really help you move forward in the healing process.” I nodded. “You think I’ll ever be normal?” I asked and she chuckled. “If there’s anything I’ve learned in my line of work. Normal doesn’t exist. But we will work together to get you in the right headspace and ways to go through your life, without your mother’s voice in your head.” I nodded as she handed me a few pamphlets on EMDR, something she wanted to try with me. I was finally getting help. I felt a wave of emotions washing over me as I stared down at the pamphlets. Tears filled my eyes as I looked over at Dr. Davis. “Thank you, Dr. Davis.” She smiled at me, shaking my hand. “You’re welcome, Katie. Now, what are you going to do after this?” I chuckled, smiling at her. “Seriously consider nursing school.” She nodded and walked me out. “Make another appointment for whatever is convenient to you. We’ll figure out a time frame next time.” I nodded before she called another patient in.

“You okay?” Jake asked as he walked over. He saw the tears in my eyes and opened his arms, pulling me into a hug. “I will be.” He nodded before releasing me to schedule my next appointment, but his arm never left my shoulder. I made another appointment for a month, thinking that would be a good time. Jake paid, which I felt guilty for, and grabbed my hand, walking us into the elevator then out to the truck. Once we got in, I wiped my eyes and turned to him. “Didn’t you have something to tell me?” He seemed a little surprised. “Oh, yeah. Bu-but it can wait till tomorrow.” I furrowed my brows as I leaned my head on the window. “You sure?” He nodded, giving me a soft smile. “I’m sure.” He asked me if I wanted to go eat somewhere before going home, but I felt so exhausted we just stopped for fast food and ate it on the couch. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked when we cleaned up and sat back down on the couch. “Yeah, I’m just really tired.” He hummed as my head laid back on the couch. It wasn’t long until I passed out on the couch, but the next morning I woke up in my bed. I looked at the clock and saw it said nine a.m. I slept for over twelve hours? I fell asleep before eight last night. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Jake was already at work. Jake. I thought for a second and realized he had to have carried me to bed. Unless I walked to bed and don’t remember? I’ll ask him when he gets home. With that I flung the covers off of me and grabbed my phone. I had a text from Phoenix asking about a birthday party for Rooster, and one from Jake asking about dinner tonight. “What could he have to say that he needs me and Kelly at dinner?” I asked myself as I went downstairs to make breakfast. I spent the day doing some research on EMDR and found a lot of interesting info on it. Before I could lose track of time, I showered a whole two hours before Jake came home, then tossed a load of towels in the washer.

I couldn’t figure out what to wear so I texted Kelly and asked what she would be wearing. I had never been to this place but I had heard of it. She finally texted me back when Jake got home, saying she was wearing a navy blue slip dress. It gave me an idea of what to wear so I shifted through my closet as Jake knocked on the door frame. “Hey.” I turned and smiled at him as I pulled out a dress and held it up. “Hi. How was your day?” I asked. “Busy. I spent five out of nine hours in the air.” I poked my bottom lip out at him. “I’m sorry.” I said and he chuckled. “What are you doing?” He asked. “Just trying to find a dress. I’ve never been to this place so I text Kelly and asked what she was wearing.” He hummed, crossing his right leg over his left, hands in his pockets as he leaned on the door frame. The t-shirt showed off his muscular tan arms so well. “And what is she wearing?” He asked and I giggled. “Well she didn’t tell me I couldn’t tell you, but I won’t. All I’ll say is it’s a little navy number.” I said, winking at him. He smiled at me, watching as I held another dress up in front of my body as I looked at myself in the mirror in my room. “And what are you wearing?” I shrugged. “Not sure yet. But when I find out, I’ll get your opinion.” He grinned at me before turning to walk away. “Hey Jake?” I asked and he turned back to me. “Did you…” I froze, feeling weird about asking this question. He walked closer, propping his elbow on the dresser and looking down at me with a grin. His face was so close to mine, his minty breath fanning across my face. “Did I what?” He asked. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I pushed past the not so pure thoughts crossing my mind. “Did you bring me up to bed last night?” I asked and he smiled at me so widely I thought I would go blind.

“I did. I couldn’t let you be all uncomfortable on the couch.” He said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten up.” He shook his head, wrapping his fingers around one of my curls that I coated with finishing spray to keep it intact. “Don’t apologize. It was like lifting a sheet of paper.” He said before leaning in and kissing my forehead. “Thank you.” I said as he turned to walk out. “We have two hours before we have to pick up Kelly and make our reservations.” I nodded as he walked down to his room. It took me a minute to gather my thoughts but once I did I threw myself into my closet. I couldn’t think about him that way. He was a friend, and one that was doing so much for me. Plus, he was in a relationship and he would never be interested in me anyway. Finally I found a dress and hung it on the outside of my closet before going and putting my makeup on. It was soft and simple, light pink eyeshadow to match the flowers on my dress. Once that was done we had half an hour before we left so I put on the dress and grabbed my nude heels. I had no jewelry which felt weird, I almost felt incomplete without it. So I just grabbed my purse and walked downstairs where I put my shoes on. “Woah.” I turned to find Jake standing on the second to last step. “Too much?” I asked and he stared at me for a second before shaking his head. “No. No, not at all.” I smiled, brushing the skirt of my dress. It was a black maxi dress with pink magnolia blooms on it. It had a split on one side of the skirt and the top was a cross halter which left my back completely exposed.

“You look beautiful.” I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me. “Thank you.” I said and he smiled at me. “Ready, darlin’?” He asked and I nodded. “Yeah.” He grabbed my hand and led me out to the truck, opening the passenger door for me and helping me in. Once he got in we drove to Kelly’s house and I tried to pry the news out of him. “Oh come on. Please tell me!” I said, leaning across the center console and looking up at him with big doe eyes. “I’m not looking at you.” I sat back in my seat and pouted. “Why not?” I asked, offended. “I’d give in immediately if I did.” I felt a surge of something rush through my chest and I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. Soon we arrived at Kelly’s apartment complex and she walked out her door. I got out of the front seat, leaving the door open for her as I crawled into the back seat. I got in and buckled just as she climbed in. “Gee, your roommate does more for me than you do when getting in the truck.” She joked and he rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of annoyance in her tone. “Hi baby.” He said and they both leaned over the console, kissing each other sweetly. I gave them a small smile as they pulled apart, they intertwined fingers resting on the console. Just like ours were yesterday, and I frowned at the memory. There was a tension in the truck and we rode in silence. When we arrived, Jake handed the truck over to the valet and we walked in. When Jake helped Kelly out of the car, I really got a look at her dress. A navy midi slip dress with thin straps and a split up the thigh. She really looked pretty with her hair curled and pulled into a pretty bun, a few hairs framing her face. She was so pretty and I felt very… plain compared to her.

I shook my insecurities aside as we walked in and we were led to a table in a back corner, soft lights illuminating the table. Jake pulled out mine and Kelly’s chairs before sitting down himself. He was next to Kelly and I was directly across from him. He rested his forearms on the table and I couldn’t look away from his arms, which had the sleeves rolled up. He looked so good in his navy shirt and black slacks, but I watched as his hand fell to her thigh and I felt a little dejected at the sight. But I had no right to be. I shook the thoughts from my mind and tuned into the conversation. “So, Katie. Jake told me you had therapy yesterday.” Jake’s face fell and I felt a little embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to know, but I didn’t tell Jake that either so I can’t get mad. “Um, yeah. I did.” Suddenly the waiter came over to take our drink orders. Jake and Kelly ordered some wine and I ordered water. “She’ll also have a glass of chardonnay.” My eyes snapped to Jake and the waiter nodded, walking away. “What if I didn’t want wine?” I asked and he chuckled. “I saw you looking at the wine menu.” Kelly immediately turned to me. “So how did your session go yesterday?” I sighed. “Um, really good actually. I think it’s gonna be good for me.” She nodded and our drinks came. I immediately picked up my glass, taking a large sip. Probably very un-lady-like but I didn’t care. By the time the food arrived I was two glasses in and feeling it. Hardly drinking makes for a low alcohol tolerance and I needed food to fix it. I sat here quietly while we waited and dug in as soon as the pasta sat in front of me. I listened to the conversation and sobered up quite a bit by the end of dinner.

“So… Katie.” He said, catching my attention as the waiter took my plate. He opened his mouth as he looked at me before quickly snatching the dessert menu. “Want some tiramisu?” He asked and I furrowed my brows at him. “Um, no thanks. I think we’ve racked up quite the bill tonight.” I said and he shook his head. “Nope, we're having dessert.” He said and caught our waiter's attention. “Three orders of tiramisu, please.” The waiter nodded and turned away. Kelly smacked his arm and caught his attention. “Tell her.” She practically growled out. My heart immediately sank. He was kicking me out. He’s grown tired of me and can’t stand to have me in his house anymore. He was throwing me out with nowhere to go. My breathing picked up and I felt like I couldn’t get any breath into my lungs. “Katie.” Jake caught my attention as the waiter set the coffee dessert in front of me, as well as another glass of wine. I snatched the glass, downing it as fast as possible. “Are you okay?” Kelly asked and I shook my head. “Not really. I’m so nervous I’m shaking.” I said and Jake furrowed his brows as Kelly squeezed his hand on the table. “Why are you nervous?” I sighed, squeezing my hands between my thighs to ground myself.

“You’re kicking me out.” He seemed shocked and immediately leaned forward. “Katie. I would never do that. Why would you think that?” He asked and I shrugged, grabbing my spoon and digging in. “I figured you couldn’t stand to have me around anymore.” I said and he shook his head. “Katie no.” I sighed. “Then what is she pushing you to tell me?” I asked and he sighed, looking at Kelly as she took his hand in hers. “Katie. I’m getting deployed.” I looked at him shocked and it felt like everything was crashing down. Without Jake I would really be lost. If my parents found me, they would have no problem dragging me out of that house and back into the room. Hell, they probably wouldn’t feed me for a week. “Wh-what?” I stuttered out, my voice meek and small. “They’re shipping out the entire team at the end of the month. For six weeks.” I sat there as tears filled my eyes, looking down at the dessert in front of me, suddenly no longer enticed by it. “Katie? Are you gonna be okay?” Kelly asked and I looked up at her. “Um, to be honest. I don’t know.” I immediately stood, grabbing my purse. “I need some air.” I said before rushing past them and outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#undiagnosed #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #jake seresin top gun #hangman seresin #hangman #ADHD OC #jake seresin x neurodivergent oc

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justagalwhowrites · 11 months

Text

Lavender - Ch. 20

Life in the QZ gets worse and you're called outside the walls again. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-19 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (broken up), Tommy Miller x Reader

Warnings: Mild smut, talk of extreme police action, description of injuries. No use of Y/N. Minors, DNI 18+ only

Length: 6.5k

Saturday, June 11, 2011 - One Year Later

“I can only keep them off your back so long,” Elias was all but stalking you into an operating room as you made sure your hair was tucked below your scrub cap. “At some point…”

“I’m not asking for you to keep them off my back,” you said, pausing at the door to go scrub in. “Don’t need to lie, don’t need make up an excuse. Tell them I think they’re fascists and that I’m not going to prop up their dystopian police state.”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, looking exhausted.

“They’re going to do it with or without you there,” he said. “This isn’t the hill you want to die on…”

“I think it’s exactly the hill to fucking die on, actually,” you snapped.

“And if they decide to execute you, too?” He demanded. “What then?”

“Sounds like you’ll need to find someone to fill in for me on Saturdays,” you shrugged. He glared at you. “Can I go do this hernia repair now or are you going to keep trying to get me to be a tool in the continued downfall of humanity?”

“Sometimes we can’t solve everything ourselves,” he said. “Sometimes we have to go along with awful things because we can do more good if we survive it.”

You sighed.

“They don’t know shit about medicine, right?” You said. He nodded once. “Great. Tell them you really just can’t spare me because I’m the only one who can do some stupid common surgical procedure so you need me here when I’m on duty. Because it’s just raining appendicitis here in the QZ. I imagine that will satisfy them and they can figure out how to check the pulse of someone they’ve hanged themselves without dragging me into it…”

“Might work,” he sighed.

“None of us should be a part of this,” you said. “Not just me. None of us should. It goes against our oath and even if it didn’t, it’s cruel and wrong.”

“I agree,” he said. “But imagine how many people would die if they executed the entire clinic for insubordination. Oaths are complicated things. Sometimes, we have to look beyond just ourselves and consider what’s best for the whole.”

“What’s best for the whole is FEDRA not executing people who have broken curfew one too many times because suddenly they’re dissidents,” you replied and then you sighed. “I do need to actually operate, I’ve got another hernia repair after this one… I’m sorry you’re stuck dealing with this shit. If you can keep me out of it while letting me keep my head, I’d appreciate it.”

“Just… try not to call any of the guards fascist to their face, alright?” He said. “I’d rather you not end up shot in the street.”

“I’ll do my best.”

You went in to scrub and ground your teeth. Things had been steadily going down hill with FEDRA for the last six months.

Patrols had increased drastically. They instituted a curfew about 10 months back that people didn’t take seriously at first - especially not the speakeasy crowd. Being home by midnight seemed outrageous.

Then the executions started.

They waited a few months before they started killing people. Gave people citations. Warned them that they’d be seen as conspirators with the Fireflies, the militarized resistance to FEDRA. From what you’d heard on your regular visits to the radio - you were still hoping against hope to find Cassie one day, though you were far less certain of her survival than you’d ever been of Joel and Tommy’s - that the fireflies were gaining strength across all the other QZs. People were angry that things weren’t getting better. You didn’t blame them.

The first sign you had that you, specifically, needed to worry about getting roped in was when Andrew showed up to your apartment one evening, looking distraught.

“Hey,” you frowned, pulling him inside. You led him to your couch and he sat down, almost in a daze. “What’s going on?”

“Guards just came by, they took Jess, said they needed her, they’re doing something outside the walls, I don’t know what they need her for out there, it doesn’t make sense,” his voice cracked. “I don’t know what they need her for, what if something happens? She’s never been out there, she’s from Boston, she came right here, what if…”

You pulled him into a hug, his arms going around your waist, his head buried in your stomach and he let out a choking sob.

“It’s OK,” you ran your fingers through his hair. “It’ll be OK, they’ll look out for her. She’s going to be OK.”

He spent the night that night, you sandwiched between him and Tommy (“This is weird, right?” Tommy said. “I mean, I’m fine with it, I just want to know that I’m not crazy.” “It’s weird,” you and Andrew said together.) Jess came back the next day, shaken but otherwise OK. It was the first of numerous trips for her outside the walls of the QZ. They were trying to use her to justify increased militarized presence through psychology, how that would help keep raiders under control. They were trying to prove their own worth. It was only a matter of time before they started roping in medical staff and teachers, too.

Meanwhile, the Fireflies were getting more outspoken, more vocal and more violent. The tighter FEDRA seemed to squeeze, the more people wanted to back the Fireflies. It was so incredibly stupid on FEDRA’s part it took all you had to not walk off both your jobs. The only thing that kept you going was the fact that it was the best way you could help people. There were no schools or clinics that weren’t run by FEDRA. If you wanted to teach, if you wanted to heal, there were no other options.

And you could use your connections to keep Tommy, Joel and Tess safe.

They were still making their smuggling runs. You tried talking Tommy out of it every time he was about to leave for another one, all but begging him to stay with you instead of going out again.

“What, and leave Tess and Joel without all my skills to back them up?” He kissed your forehead. “C’mon. I’m basically the only reason they’re still alive, Sweetheart. Can’t let them go it alone.”

So you kept them stocked in trauma supplies, stealing things from work with even greater regularity. Tommy kept showing up at your door battered and bruised. You’d taken to keeping a suture kit at your house, regularly needing to stitch his wounds closed.

“I really fucking hate this,” you said one night, stitching a knife wound to his shoulder closed as you sat behind him on your bed.

“Sweetheart,” he sighed.

“No, I mean it,” you said. “I really hate it. I really hate seeing you hurt, I really hate patching you up, I really hate that you feel like you have to do this. I really fucking hate it, Tommy, and I wish you’d stop going out there.”

You tied off the suture and got the kit cleaned up, stashing what was unused and still sterile back in your abused at home supply kit.

“Hey,” he took your hand and pulled you between his legs, looking up at you. “I’m not goin’ out there for nothing…”

“You’re going out there for ration cards,” you snapped. “Which is damn near nothing.”

“Goin’ out there for shit we can’t get here,” he said, untying your robe and unwrapping you slowly, like you were a gift. He pressed his lips to your bare stomach, kissing up your body to your breastbone. “Some of it is important shit. And I have to try to keep Joel and Tess safe. I’m not tryin’ to get hurt, I’m really not tryin’ to hurt you. I’m doing it because it’s important and it’s the only damn way I got to do something important in this fuckin’ place.”

“You’re important to me,” you said quietly, running your fingers through his hair. “Be important that way.”

“And you’re important to me,” he kissed your chest again. “But would you listen if I asked you to stop working at the clinic?”

“I’m not risking my life at the clinic.”

“You’ve got your brain to offer,” he half smiled up at you. “I’m a soldier. All I’ve got’s my body, so I’m usin’ it.” He tugged you closer. “Hopin’ you’ll let me.”

You sighed, straddling him, kissing him, your arms draped carefully over his shoulders so as to not disturb his fresh sutures.

“Really don’t encourage a lot of physical activity so soon after a medical procedure,” you said as he slid your robe to the floor and trailed his lips down your throat. “Should probably make you wait…”

“Swear to God I’ll lose my mind if you don’t let me inside you,” he growled and you laughed. He took the opportunity to pick you up and lay you down with a surprised shriek.

“And you really shouldn’t be doing that,” you said between kisses. “You’re going to rip your stitches out!”

“Worth it.”

He quickly pulled off his pants and thrust into you, making you gasp and moan. “Fuck, Sweetheart, Goddamn,” he groaned. “How do you always feel this fuckin’ good?”

You ground your hips into him and he pressed his lips to the hollow of your throat with a delicious moan, starting to work himself in and out of you. He knew just how you liked to be fucked now, knew all the places inside you to find, how to work your clit, touch your skin, suck your nipples into his mouth. He pulled you tight and close to him as his pace increased and your orgasm built and you fell apart together, gasping for breath as he lay on top of you. You lifted your head just enough to see his sutures before collapsing back down into bed.

“You got fucking lucky, Miller,” you panted. “Because I’d never fuck you again if you made me redo those stitches.”

“I’d seduce you eventually,” he said, kissing your shoulder and sliding out of you. You rolled your eyes. “Only took me 10 years the first time…”

Your relationship with Tommy had been one of the few, surprising bright spots in the last year. It was oddly easy, being with him. There wasn’t much about him that wasn’t easy. He was sweet, he was fun. It was what you’d imagined a relationship to be like in college before you’d started dating Joel. With Joel, it had been heady and intense from the beginning. You’d been head over heels for him from the start. There was no other option, it was all in or nothing and nothing didn’t feel like it was on the table.

Tommy was the opposite. But that was, in part, because you couldn’t seem to actually fall for him. Even when you tried. Even when you focused on it.

It didn’t seem to matter what he did. He took you dancing at the Speakeasy. He brought you bottles of wine from outside the QZ. He got you a small TV/VCR combo from the underground market and a copy of You’ve Got Mail on VHS. You were almost giddy with it while trying to tell him it was way too much.

“Nah, I had to,” he smiled. “Found the tape when we were outside, knew how much you loved that movie. Then I just had to make sure you could actually watch the damn thing.”

Tommy was probably a damn near perfect boyfriend. He just… wasn’t Joel.

It didn’t matter that you hadn’t seen him - not even in passing - since the conversation near the clinic. Tommy always came to your place. You always dealt with him or Tess when it came to resupplying their medical stash. He had done a thorough job of making sure you never saw each other.

And it didn’t make a damn difference.

There was a second every morning Tommy spent the night where you thought you were waking up next to his brother. It was one moment - a sweet, if brief, moment - where everything felt right. It was one of your favorite moments of the day, the second there your mind tricked yourself that you were still with the person you loved most. And then came the letdown followed by the shame of it.

“What the fuck is my problem?” You asked Andrew one afternoon as you worked in your lab. “Why can’t I get the fuck over him? Tommy… he’s basically perfect, why can’t I just love him? Why do I have to want the person who doesn’t want me back? And at what point do I fucking tell Tommy ‘hey, I know you’ve basically done nothing but be the best boyfriend a girl could ask for for the past almost year but I’m still in love with your brother who, as it happens, is kind of a dick.’”

“The heart wants what the heart wants, I guess,” Andrew shrugged. “I can’t imagine loving anyone but Jess. You could drop Halle Berry in front of me, make her love all the same shit I do and I’d still want Jess. Just how it works sometimes.”

“This is such a fucking mess,” you groaned.

“He said he understood what he was getting into,” he shrugged again. “So, if I were you, I’d keep it to myself until he drops the L-word on you. Then you’ll have to come clean. But, until then, I think you’re in the clear.”

“Why am I this stupid?” You asked. “Seriously. I’m not this stupid with anything else, how was I this fucking stupid?”

“Eh, you’re pretty stupid with at least some other things,” he said. You glared at him. “You are an absolute shit partner to have in bridge. You cannot strategize for shit, you are really stupid at bridge.”

“Thank you,” you said sarcastically. “That makes me feel so much better.”

“Always happy to be of service.”

It had been a few months that you’d known, for a fact, that you couldn’t fall in love with Tommy. It didn’t matter how hard you tried, how much you wanted to, it wasn’t going to happen. You still weren’t sure what to do about it.

You thought about it more when he wasn’t around. So you were thankful, that Saturday, to have surgeries to attend to. Tommy, Joel and Tess were outside the QZ yet again. Not only were you always worried the whole time they were gone, your brain went into overdrive trying to figure out what to do about the Tommy situation. Surgery was a pleasant distraction.

It was late when you finally finished everything on the docket that day. The sun had set and you felt like you were ready to fall asleep standing up.

“Want to come over later?” Andrew asked as you leaned against the front desk. “Feel like you might need the distraction.”

“Yeah…” you sighed, looking out at the empty waiting room. “Probably a good idea…”

The bell on the front door rang and you instinctively looked. Tess ran in, eyes wide, blood dripping from her shoulder.

“Fuck,” you swore. You were running before you even really knew you were running, grabbing one of the clinic’s go bags.

“Andrew,” you said as you went for the door. “Keep an OR ready for me, do NOT shut down until I get back, understand? See if you can get someone else to stay, please…”

“I’ve got it,” he said. “Go!”

Tess led the way to the hole in the fence.

“What happened?” You asked, the two of you walking as quickly as you could without drawing the attention of anyone patrolling.

“We got pinned down, about a mile outside the QZ,” she said. “We took everyone out eventually but Tommy and Joel…”

“Tess,” your voice cracked.

“They were alive when I left,” she said.

“Fuck!”

You slipped out of the fence, past the search lights and the debris field, and you ran.

You’d never been an athlete. You liked hiking and swimming and walking and were in fine shape but you’d never been a runner. That didn’t seem to matter then.

You raced toward where Tess pointed you, her falling back. You started watching for the bodies that would be around wherever they’d stashed themselves, the telltale signs of the showdown Tess mentioned.

When you spotted it, you practically tore into the small storefront, yanking a flashlight out of your pocket. It didn’t take you long to find Joel and Tommy.

“Hey Sweetheart,” Tommy smiled a little at you. He was breathing heavily, his gun lying across his lap. Tess ran in behind you.

“Hey, you idiot,” you smiled a little back. Joel was silent on the ground. “I need to evaluate you both and figure this out, try to stay conscious for me, OK?”

“Anything for you,” he said, wincing a little.

You took off your backpack and put your flashlight in your teeth, looking Joel over first. He was unconscious but he had a pulse and was breathing. Good signs, even though his breath was shallow. There was a penetrating chest wound and a compound fracture just above his left knee.

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck did you guys get up to?” You asked, pulling out your stethoscope. “Do you know how fucking hard it is to break your femur?”

“Had to jump off a roof,” Tommy winced. “Think I just sprained an ankle, Joel landed wrong…”

“Wrong is a fucking understatement,” you muttered, checking his heart rate and his breathing. “Think he’s stable for the moment…”

You moved to Tommy.

“Why do I feel like we’re gonna be in a fight after this?” He asked.

“Because we are,” you said. “Show me what’s wrong.”

“Got shot,” he angled his leg with a groan so you could see the wound. It was to the thigh but had missed the major arteries, so not terrible. “Sprained the ankle…”

“Tess,” you said. “I’m going to need…”

There was a sudden gasping sound from behind you and you spun. Joel was still unconscious but he was struggling to breathe.

“Doc!” Tess ran to him.

“Move!” You ordered, rushing over and thrusting the stethoscope into your ears. You pressed it to his chest and listened. “Fucking hell…”

You yanked your bag to your side and started ripping through it.

“What?” Tess sounded panicked. “What is it?”

“He had a fucking pneumothorax that I missed and it just changed to a tension pneumothorax,” you said, thrusting the flashlight to Tess. She took it, shining the light down at the bag. You found a scalpel and some tubing.

“What’s that?” She asked. “What does that mean?”

“It means there’s air in his chest that’s trapped and making it so his lung can’t inflate and I need to get it out or he’s going to fucking die,” you snapped, ripping his shirt open, sending buttons flying and pointing to a spot on his rib cage. You cut off a short length of tube. “Light here.”

She obeyed and you made the cut, thrusting the tubing in to hold the incision open so the air could escape. He took a deep, shuddering breath and you relaxed.

“Thank fuck for that,” you sighed, really looking at his face for the first time.

You had to fight the urge to touch him. He was still so fucking beautiful it made your heart ache. Seeing him again was like getting hit by the train. All this time, you’d thought you’d just been holding steady, that you just kept loving him the same way you always had.

You hadn’t. It had become a dull roar. It hung on the edges of everything but you could forget about it sometimes, when he wasn’t there to remind you. But the second you saw him, it was all consuming. You felt it in your skin, your chest, your marrow. Loving him was built into you like any other vital thing, there was no excising it. You could quiet it, avoid it but it would never cease to exist. Not for you.

“Tess,” you said after a second. “Hold pressure on the lower chest wound, leave the one I just made the fuck alone.”

You went to Tommy and started looking at his gunshot wound.

“How are you feeling?” You asked. “Lightheaded?”

“Nothin’ I can’t handle, Sweetheart,” he smiled a little. “Just having a hard time walking is all…”

“Yeah, that’s going to be the sticking point here,” you glanced to Tess.

“What?” She asked.

“You and I are going to have to do some heavy lifting,” you said.

“I can do that,” she nodded. “I can do that.”

You grabbed some gauze and a brace from your bag, wrapping Tommy’s gunshot wound and giving him some ankle support before you looked him in the eye.

“Alright Miller,” you said. “Time to boot and rally, you were in the army, you can do this. You’re going to go with Tess to the fence and head for the clinic. Andrew is waiting for you guys.”

“What about you?” He asked.

“I’m going to wake up Joel and I’m taking him to the main gate,” you said, getting to your feet and offering Tommy your hand.

“That’s a fucking death sentence, you can’t go to the main gate!” Tess gaped up at you.

“We can’t get him through the fence,” you said. “There’s no way in hell, not with a compound fracture, an open chest wound and a pneumo. Main gate might be a death sentence for you but I can get us in. It’ll be tricky but I can get us in.”

“That’s too big a risk,” Tommy said, taking your hand. You pulled him to his feet and slung his arm over your shoulder. “You can’t…”

“I can’t just leave him out here,” you looked up at him, meeting his gaze. “I need to get him to the clinic before shit gets worse and that’s the only way…”

He cupped your face, looking in your eyes and you knew he saw it. What you felt. Why you couldn’t leave Joel behind. Not now, not ever.

“It’s gonna get you killed, Sweetheart,” he said softly.

“Don’t have a choice,” you smiled sadly. He pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Tess?” You said, still looking at Tommy. She came alongside you and you held up his arm. She stepped into place. “Straight to the clinic, OK?”

“You sure you’ve got Joel from here?” She asked.

“Yeah,” you said. “Get yourselves out of here, we’ll be right behind. The clinic. Andrew’s staying there, he’ll help you.”

She nodded and they left you there with Joel on the ground.

You ran to his side, checking his breathing. Still solid.

“Well at least there’s that,” you muttered to yourself. You quickly bandaged the wound at his chest. Looking closer, you were pretty sure it was a stab wound and not a bullet hole. You tried to keep it so it wouldn’t be jostled and have him start bleeding out. You moved onto the leg.

You were going to need to at least partially set it, there’s no way you could carry him and he couldn’t put any weight on it the way it was now. It was just going to hurt like a bitch. Which is part of why you’d sent Tess and Tommy along. This part was not going to be pretty and there was a good chance he was going to scream loud enough to attract every clicker and raider in a five mile radius.

“OK Miller,” you grabbed the length of tubing you hadn’t used to open his chest and put it between his teeth, making him bite down on it. “You can do this, you can get through this you stubborn asshole, you’re going to be fine, hear me? I will never forgive you if you’re not fine so you’re going to be fucking fine…”

You grabbed the stuff to make a splint from your bag and set it up around his injured leg before you put one knee on his hip, hoping to help hold him still.

“Here we go,” you took a deep breath. “One, two, three…”

You winced as you started pushing his bone back into alignment. He gasped and flung his hand out, catching you in the side.

“It’s me!” You said quickly, pushing the bone back into place. He groaned, the sound choking and gasping. “Bite down on the tube, I’m setting your leg enough that you can put weight on it, I know it hurts, I’m almost done just stick with me…”

The bone disappeared below the skin and you stopped pushing. Joel went slack, panting for breath. You grabbed gauze and quickly bound the point where the break had come through the skin before setting the splint.

“You still with me over there, Miller?” You asked, not able bring yourself to look over at him, afraid of what you might see.

“Still here,” he was panting for breath.

“Good,” you said, sitting back on your heels for a moment, out of breath yourself. You looked over at him.

He was watching you, a soft look on his face. Your heart swelled with it.

“Hey Kid,” he said quietly.

“Hey,” you half smiled at him.

“Tess and Tommy?” He asked.

“Headed for the QZ,” you said. “Sent them on ahead because they’re taking a different route in than us.”

“What route are we taking?” He frowned.

“Main gate,” you said, starting to pack up your supplies.

“No,” he shook his head. “No, we can’t…”

“You can’t without me,” you cut him off. “But I can. And you can’t get under the fence right now, Joel, not with your leg like that coupled with the fact that you’ve got a penetrating chest wound and I had to give you an incision to relieve a tension pneumothorax.”

“Then you’re leavin’ me out here,” he started trying to prop himself up on his elbows and you went to help him. “Not riskin’ you bringing me in through the main gate…”

“Shut the fuck up, Miller,” you said, helping him sit up all the way. He glared at you.

“Always knew there was a risk of not comin’ back, Kid,” he said. His eyes kept ranging over your face.

“You don’t get to just die on me out here,” you snapped. “We’re not doing that, got it? I didn’t come all the way out here to save your ass just to have you die on me so we’re going to the main fucking gate.”

You stood up and put on the pack before offering him your hand. He glared at you.

“I swear to God Joel if you don’t I will go to the main gate myself and make them come get you in a patrol truck,” you snapped. “Guessing this is a smuggling hide out for you, I will bring them here, I don’t give a shit.”

“You’re the most stubborn damn woman I’ve ever met,” he muttered, taking your hand.

“Put as much weight as you can on the good leg,” you ordered. He glared at you. “What, you’re saying dumb shit like I should just leave you out here to die so I have to state the obvious. Ready?” He nodded once. “Alright, one, two, three.”

You pulled and he hissed in pain as you helped him up. He almost collapsed and you caught him with your shoulder tucked into his armpit.

“See?” You said as he panted for breath. “We’ve got this.”

It didn’t take long for you and Joel to fall into a rhythm that kept his pain from getting worse as you walked. It was slow going but you made steady progress.

“Why’d you do this?” He managed after you’d walked half a mile.

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“Come out here,” he said. His breaths came in short, gasping pants. “Save me. Why?”

You were quiet for a moment.

“You know why,” you said eventually.

He ground his teeth.

“We’re not good for each other,” he said.

“I know.”

“Told you I didn’t want to see you.”

“Trust me, I remember.”

“You’re with Tommy.”

“I know.”

He growled. The searchlights of the QZ perimeter were getting close.

“When we get up there, let me do the talking,” you said. “Keep your mouth fucking shut. I’m going to get us through this in one piece but you have to do what I say for a change, got it?”

He just grunted in affirmation.

The guards spotted you quickly. It wasn’t like you were trying to hide.

“Hands up!” Their guns were drawn. You raised the hand you could. “I fucking said hands up!”

“Can’t put them all up, I have an injured man with me,” you called back. “I’m a doctor at the clinic, I got word of an injured person outside the fence, I’m bringing him in for treatment…”

The voice shifted.

“Doc? That you?”

You squinted against the searchlight as the guard came closer. You smiled a little.

“Hi Tim,” you said. You’d known there was a good chance one of your former students would be at the gate. It was just luck that it was one who remembered you fondly. He lowered his gun.

“What are you doing out here?” He asked, coming over and taking Joel’s other side. Joel just gaped at you.

“Helping the injured,” you jerked your head in Joel’s direction. “That whole hippocratic oath thing, I couldn’t just ignore it once I knew about it. I was hoping you could let us in here.”

“Doc, you left the QZ…” he said quietly.

“I know,” you said. “And I don’t want to compromise you or your job in any way. But I had to do my job, too. If you need to write me up or take me into custody you can, but I need to get this man to the clinic first…”

He looked Joel over.

“You’ll make sure he does intake?” He asked.

“Of course,” you replied. He pulled out a scanner and took a sample from each of you. The screen glowed green. His jaw twitched.

“Alright,” he said. “But we have to move quick and you never saw me, OK?”

“Thank you,” you said, moving as quickly as Joel would allow. Your heart was in your throat until you were through the gate.

“Get to the clinic by curfew,” Tim said. “You’ve only got 20 minutes.”

***

Joel wasn’t sure what hurt more, his leg, his chest or seeing you.

He’d managed to avoid you for a year. A whole year of not seeing your face, the longest he’d gone since he’d come to the QZ. He hated every goddamn second of it.

It was the right thing to do, though, trying to let you go. He kept fucking failing you and he’d keep fucking failing you the more he was around you. And being around you hurt.

He wasn’t sure it would be better or worse if you were his. Everything he’d lost was all tied up in you. The life he’d been inches away from having wound around your limbs and lips and hair. He didn’t think he could just be next to you and know that. But fuck, not seeing you…

One of the hardest things he’d ever had to do was say goodbye to you that day on the street. But he couldn’t keep drowning you in his misery. As much as he’d hated Tommy for touching you, for picking you, he couldn’t hate him for pointing out the obvious. He’d been cruel to you. As much as he was angry, hurting, wanting to hate you, you didn’t deserve that. You deserved better than what he could give you. You were too much for him to take and he couldn’t seem to stop hurting you. It had to end.

But he was relieved that he could gauge how you were doing by Tommy’s mood. He didn’t like much else about the fact that you were with him but when Tommy came home from seeing you in a good mood, he knew you were happy. If he were a little off, he knew you probably had a bad day at work. If he were irritable it meant you were upset about something. He didn’t dare ask what but he knew it was something.

It was strange, knowing you existed in the world but not knowing much of anything about it. He clung to what he did know. Wished he didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to see you. Wished he didn’t want to look at you.

But now you were close - so fucking close - and it hurt. Andrew helped you get him onto an exam table and he could barely hear what you were saying, giving him some kind of pill and making him breathe in some shit that made his head swim as you made him lie down.

“Don’t want you workin’ on me,” he managed. You frowned.

“Well I’m the only option you have, Miller, so suck it up,” you said, not looking up from your work at his side.

“Don’t want to want to look at you,” he muttered.

“Then don’t look at me,” you said, stitching up his side.

“Can’t help it,” he mumbled. “Too fuckin’ pretty…”

“Sounds like a personal problem, Miller,” you said. “Stop talking so much, you’re making it hard to sew.”

“Sorry,” he said. “Just missed you.”

You looked at him for a moment.

“Missed you too.”

You went back to sewing. He just watched you work, soaking up what he could of you. He didn’t know when he’d see you again. He wanted to hold onto this.

He fell asleep watching you heal him.

***

By the time you finished with Joel, you were exhausted. You were going to have to just sleep in an exam room, it was past curfew and you wouldn’t want to be far, anyway. But, for that moment, you just wanted to slump against the wall in the hall, not able to make yourself move any further.

You slid to the floor, leaning your head back against the wall and taking a deep breath. Your legs and arms ached. You were pretty sure your abs would, too, in the morning after you hauled Joel all that way.

Tess came out of an exam room and looked surprised to find you on the floor before siting next to you.

“How is he?” She asked.

“He’ll be fine,” you sighed. “Won’t be able to make any runs for at least two months while his femur heals, though.”

She nodded slowly.

“Can I ask you something?” She asked after a moment.

“As long as it’s nothing philosophical,” you replied. “Brain is fried. Ask me how to do surgery, that I can do with my eyes closed.”

“What are you doing with them?” She asked, watching you. You frowned. “You’ve got Tommy wrapped around your finger. You’ll put your life on the line to save Joel. What are you doing with them?”

“Nothing that I really have a say in,” you looked at her, too tired to try to dodge the question. “If I could stop… feeling the way I do, I would. I hate it, I hate what it’s done to me, what it’s done to him, what it’s doing to Tommy and I just… I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want it to be over.

“I keep thinking that loving people, that’s the reason we’re here. That’s what we’re supposed to do with life, we’re supposed to love people as much as we can for as long as we can but that doesn’t work anymore, does it? Maybe it did before all this happened. Maybe it didn’t and I was just too naive to know it but that’s what it felt like we were supposed to do. But I can’t keep loving him and I can’t just let this keep going with Tommy and I just….” Your voice cracked. You were too tired to try to fight off tears.

Tess tugged you over so your head was on her shoulder. You blinked in surprise.

“I was married before,” she said. “I told you that. I didn’t tell you that I had to shoot him, in the outbreak.”

“Jesus…” you breathed.

“Even knowing how it was going to end, I’m glad I had it while I did,” she said. “But I’m still too afraid to ever love someone like that again. Love like that wrecks you, utterly destroys you. It’s why I make the choices I make now. And yeah, it’s safer but my God is life sweeter when you have it.

“Joel’s broken like that, too,” she said. “Part of why we get along. I’m not sure he’ll ever get his shit together. It’s too big a risk for him. But I think you still can figure it out. It hasn’t broken you yet. You still wear ribbons in your hair. You’re not broken yet.”

You stared at the wall for a moment.

“I need to talk to Tommy,” you said eventually.

“I’m really sorry, Doc,” she said quietly.

“Me too.”

You made yourself stop crying before you knocked on Tommy’s door and opened it quietly, half hoping he would be asleep when you went inside.

No such luck.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” he half smiled at you.

“Hey,” you half smiled back. “How are you feeling?”

“Been better,” he shrugged. “Been worse.”

You nodded.

“The nurse - Kristen, I think? - said Joel was fine,” he said. You nodded again.

He just looked at you for a moment, like he was memorizing you.

“I never had a shot, did I?” He asked.

You smiled tightly.

“I told you I wasn’t sure I could ever love anyone else,” you said softly.

“You did,” he nodded. “Just hoped I’d convince you.”

“You and me both.”

He smiled at that and held out his hand for you. You took it, letting him tug you to him.

“You’ve been the most fun I’ve had since the end of the world,” he said. “Glad we got to figure it out.”

“Me too,” you sniffed, trying not to cry.

He smiled and kissed your forehead.

“Go sleep,” he said. “You look like you’re about to fall over.”

“Yeah, I think I am,” you laughed. “Your brother is fucking heavy, I’m never hauling him anywhere again…”

He laughed at that, too. You looked at him.

“I really tried,” you said quietly. “But…”

“I know,” he said. “Now get out of here before I do something stupid.”

You nodded and went for the door.

“Hey,” he said.

You stopped and turned back to him.

“Here’s looking at you, Kid.”

You smiled, shook your head a little, and left him behind.

A/N: Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as things ramp up as we build into the core story of TLOU. Tommy will still be around for a bit but boyfriend Tommy is over. So sorry for all the Tommy Stans! This was always the plan, though. He was here to help Joel figure his shit out and give Doc a way out of her single-mindedness when it comes to Joel.

I do have a tag list, please let me know if you'd like to be added, just comment below! If you've asked and haven't made it on, please ask again. I'm trying to get everyone added but I think people may have slipped through the cracks because I have no organizational system for this.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting and letting me know how the story makes you feel! It's a joy to write for you all, thank you for hanging out with my characters :)

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