#asmodeus swd

[jackalopesao3]

Everytime I hear Asmo say, “mmkay” all I can think of is…

I can’t hear it any other way in my head. Help.

[avonyxx]

The bros drew themselves 🦅🦅🦅🫴🫴🫴

[r0t-t1ngxeyy]

You telling me this little shit right here has 13 boyfriends, 1 girlfriend and a son??

[hibiscuslovecandles]

Luuuucifer the human is being mean again >:(

[zephyrchama]

A thin line of table salt adorned the floor in front of your bedroom. You stood behind it and stared at the demons outside of your doorway. They were staring at the salt.

Leviathan laughed. It reminded him of a low-level defense from a tower defense game. "Is that supposed to keep us out? lol."

"Yeah. I think it's working," you said.

Satan put a hand on his hip. As far as he could tell, it was plain old table salt. No magical properties whatsoever. "How so?"

"Well, none of you are crossing it. Clearly, it's having some kind of effect."

Mammon balked. "Obviously, it's because we're respectin' your privacy!" He stood closest to the line, wanting to cross it most of all.

"You're respecting my privacy by... standing right outside my door?"

Mammon opened his mouth to counter, only to come up with nothing. He stood there with his fists clenched. The feather on his belt swayed as he tapped a foot impatiently, causing the nearest salt to shift a little.

The noise annoyed Asmodeus. "Mammon, go walk through the salt."

"Why me!?"

"This is ridiculous." Lucifer crossed his arms. "Clean this up. I don't even want to know how this will damage the floors if you leave it."

"It's not even doing anything," Satan pointed out.

"If it's not doing anything, then one of you should cross it," you suggested.

"Why don't you come out to us?" Belphegor proposed. "There's only one of you, seems more fair."

"Yeah!" Asmodeus took a step away from the salt, careful not to get any on his shoes, and raised his hands. "You can run into my arms if you'd like. I'll be sure to catch you."

Their stubbornness astounded you. "Or... You guys can just admit you don't want to cross this salt."

"It's regular salt." Beelzebub knew exactly what the substance was as soon as he laid eyes on it. Plus, the smell was unmistakable. His claim was irrefutable.

"Yes, exactly. Thank you, Beel. I've seen you eat it many times." You had even taken the bag from the shared kitchen.

"Did you try walking over it?" Leviathan asked. "How are we supposed to cross it if you won't?"

"I don't need to. I'm in my room."

"You should come to our room," Belphegor offered. He was getting tired of standing around.

"Come out this instant," Lucifer ordered.

You thought about it for a whopping two seconds. "I think I'm good. I'll be in my room. If any of you need me, feel free to come in."

You retreated back inside with the rest of the half-empty salt bag. The brothers stared at you with a mix of impatience and disbelief until the wall blocked you from view.

[temis-de-leon]

Who's their emergency contact

.

Lucifer: Mammon, his favourite brother and the one he turns to when things get serious. For the sake of his peace and sanity, there are things he'd rather keep secret from Diavolo and just for this reason he can't trust Barbatos either; telling something to the butler would only result in the prince knowing.

Mammon: you, whether you like it or not. Depending on the situation, Lucifer may leave him longer than necessary in the hospital (or wherever he's retained) and his younger brothers tend to make fun of him most of the time. If he has to face someone's wrath, please let it be yours.

Levi: Lucifer, the default option. As much as he loves and trusts you, he needs to be realistic: there are some things you cannot handle. Besides that, of course, his eldest brother is responsible when making decisions, especially if his family is involved.

Satan: Lucifer and he hates it. It used to be Asmo until he had an accident with a spell and ended up in serious trouble. When Asmo arrived he cried so hard out of worry that they had to call Lucifer, so he reluctantly changed it to save some time in the future.

Asmo: you. If something happens to him, the first person he wants to see when he wakes up is you and, if it were really serious anyway, you wouldn't go alone to get him. Plus, he'd also die of happiness under your care since he'd be receiving all your attention!

Beel: Lucifer, who he trusts the most in stressful situations. He loves Belphie with all his heart, yes, but he can't trust his twin to be awake at random times; emergencies can happen at any hour, after all.

Belphie: Beel. Does he have to explain? Besides you, there's no one in the family he trusts more than him, so it just makes sense.

You: Lucifer. Mammon tried to negotiate. He tried.

.

.

Main Masterlist

This is so damn stupid. I promise I'm writing my normal posts, but I was watching Grey's Anatomy and it just happened. If it looks wonky, it's because I'm sleepy

Taglist: @ilovecandys2010  @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion

[ironicallyyn]

The accuracy-!?

[7pink-prin-cess7]

Friendly reminder that this is a war veteran

[helshollowhalls]

[bluewolfangel01]

Mammon: "Ugh, I swear we've looked everywhere and we still haven't found Mc!"

Satan: "I'll admit, I didn't think they would be this good at hide and seek."

Asmo: "Where could they be, we've searched the whole house havent we?"

Beel: "Well, there's one place we haven't checked. Lucifer's study."

Levi: "WH-WHA?! WE CANT CHECK THERE! Lucifer is in there!!! He'd kill us on sight if we went in there while he's busy!!!"

Belphie: "It's the only place we haven't checked."

Lucifer: *in his study, busily working away at the mountain of paperwork on his desk from Diavolo*

Mammon: *opens the door slowly trying to be quiet, but its only opened to a small bit before...*

Lucifer: "Is there something you need Mammon?"

Mammon: "H-hey bestest bro in all the realms! Uh... Mc wouldn't happen to be hiding in here by any chance right?"

Lucifer: "Leave before I give Cerburus a new white haired pinata to play with."

Mammon: *shuts the door and runs away as fast as possible*

Lucifer: "I do not understand why you decide to hide here whenever you all play hide and seek."

Mc: *pops their head out from underneath Lucifer's cape*

Mc: "Because it's a guaranteed win spot and I get the chance to spend some alone time with you~"

Lucifer: *looks down towards Mc and he can't help but smile seeing their face*

Lucifer: "You're lucky I love you."

Mc: "I know!"

Mc and Luci then proceed to kiss

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Something about the way that MC flirting with Asmo is actually subtle but them flirting with Mammom might as well be "WOW that's CRAZY. I'll need mouth-to-mouth cpr to recover, HOW TERRIBLE. Mammon, come here." is so funny to me

[tsukii0002]

Mc: You know, sometimes I feel like being aggressive as a way to show my affection.

Asmo: ?

Mc: But as much as I want to hug someone with all my might, I don't want to hurt people or animals.

Asmo: Oh, honey *smiling*

Belphie: *hugging them around the waist* You can do it with us….

Mc: But…

Asmo: *hugging them too* We're demons!!!! Even if you want to hurt us, you couldn't.

Belphie: And every living creature in the devildom is XL, look at Cerberus.

Mc: …

Mc: *hugging them with a lot of strength* Sometimes I forget that you are demons.

Asmo: Kyaaa~ I'm always ready to receive your aggressive affection.

Belphie: In fact, I demand it.

.

.

[averageradstudent]

i am actively hyperventilating as i type this good lord above thank you solmare

[kpop-otome-yandere-here]

Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.

Mammon, sighing: Okay-

Asmo: I'm coming!

Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...

[siminnne]

:p

[zephyrchama]

Asmodeus was in a foul mood. The cupcakes he had purchased were eaten by his younger brother. He spent most of the day venting to you, however, his frustration continued to grow. By the end of the school day, Asmodeus had gathered most of his other brothers and declared it time for a good old fashioned gossip session to ease his mind.

"Tell me the worst thing you've ever seen Beel eat," he demanded. "Satan, you go first."

"I saw him wrapping a chunk of mystery meat in bacon and sausage, slathering it with an entire bottle of sauce, then wrapping it in even more bacon and a new bottle of sauce. Over and over, until he had this big meaty rock," Satan explained. He had a faraway look in his eye. "It was too excessive. I couldn't even bring myself to watch him eat it."

"I know what you mean," Leviathan commiserated. "I've seen him devour eleven roasted shadow hogs in one sitting." He shuddered upon recalling the feat of pure gluttony. The image was burned into his mind.

"That's nothin'," Mammon told him. "I watched a train carryin' a boatload of frozen horror cherry pies derail. Beel ate 'em all off the tracks. Every last one. I can still hear him crunchin' on the rocks that got mixed in." He stuck his tongue out and pretended to gag.

Belphegor was next to chime in. "You know what sounded crunchy? This one time, Beel wrapped and ate three live huma—"

Everyone's faces turned pale. Asmodeus rushed to poke him hard in the side, causing Belphegor to yelp to a stop.

There was a lot of nervous side-eyeing in your direction. Mammon had his hands raised like he was going to clamp them over your ears. Satan was rubbing the bridge of his nose to stay calm. Leviathan's mouth was a giant frown, opening and closing like a fish out of water. Things had become incredibly awkward.

Belphegor continued, very slowly, "Three... humongous pizzas."